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ja3yun · 2 months

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Push My Buttons | L.HS

bodyguard!heeseung x rich girl!reader warnings: enemies to ???, angst, smut (mdni), car sex, unprotected sex, cream pie, choking, mentions of spit, possessive!hee, some violence, not proofread, anything else lmk! wc: 7.5k synopsis: lee heeseung has been hired as your personal security by your father. you and him don't see eye to eye, so when tensions rise at your best friends party, you both know how to push each others buttons. a/n: hi! this is a thank you for 1k! i still don't believe it if i'm honest because i don't think i deserve it but regardless, thank you all so much if you follow me! this is a little idea i had sitting on my laptop that i've decided to complete for this occasion so enjoy!

_____

Browsing through the racks of the Prada store, you can't help but feel acutely aware of the imposing presence of your hired security, stationed just two feet away.

"Do you have to stick to me like glue all the time?" you mutter, not bothering to meet his gaze.

“It’s my job, Y/N. You’d know what that was if you weren’t such a spoiled brat,” he spits back, his eyes rolling in exasperation.

Lee Heeseung was appointed by your father to ensure your safety during his frequent business trips. Unfortunately, your father's demanding role as CFO of a tech company keeps him away for extended periods. He doesn't trust you to fend for yourself, fearing that others might exploit you to reach him. Given your father's controversial reputation stemming from questionable business dealings, Heeseung's imposing presence is a constant fixture in your life.

Your bodyguard would be more tolerable if he weren't so insistent on being by your side every second. It's tiresome, really, how he clings to you like a shadow, never granting you a moment of solitude. If you go to the bathroom, he is right outside the door and if you dare try and sneak out the window - which you have tried numerous times - he is chasing you down the street, sweeping you off your feet and taking you home.

You had hoped that being only a couple of years older, he might adopt a more relaxed approach, letting you live your life a little, but you were wrong. Since the first day he turned up, he’s been nothing but a hoover, sucking the fun and freedom from your life all to keep you safe.

Sure, he probably knows deep down that he's a tad overbearing, but hey, he's clinging to this gig like a lifeline. Compared to his last job of being a bouncer at some dingy club, knocking back people with fake IDs and kicking out drunk people, your dad's cushy paycheck is like hitting the jackpot.

To Heeseung, you’re just some rich kid who has more money than sense, squandering it on everything and anything you deem a necessity at the time, only to then throw them away or forget about them. Considering he struggled to pay his rent before this job, he hates your whimsy ways with money.

It's like you live in your own little bubble, completely disconnected from the real world. There are people out there starving and you’re buying thousands of pounds worth of clothes that you could easily get from a bargain bin for a fiver.

Finally, you spare him a glance, “Just stand over there, okay? You really don’t have to be here and mess up my whole vibe,” you flail your arms around hoping the gestures will add some exclamation to your statement.

With a resigned sigh, he acquiesces, nodding, "In my line of sight at all times, got it?" He scans the area once more, on high alert for anything out of place, before reluctantly giving you some breathing room.

Heeseung blends in, looking through the obscenely expensive trousers which he is convinced he has seen the exact same jeans in thrift stores, just without the brand label. It’s a reminder of the contrast between you both; your lavish ways are still an alien concept to him.

He’s been in this role for 3 months and he won’t get over it, how different you both are. Your beliefs and traits are so starkly dissimilar that not once have you ever seen eye to eye. He doesn’t hate you, but he’s close to it. You always treat him with little to no respect and considering he’s only looking out for you per your daddy’s request, he would like to think you would be a little more grateful.

Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by a lone figure approaching you, a slick smile playing on his lips. Heeseung’s jaw tightens as he analyses the scene in front of him, trying to speculate what the guy wanted, although Heeseung already knows his intentions.

You’re too busy trying to decide whether beige or cream looks better on you as you hold out two vest tops to notice the incoming man.

“I think you should go with that one,” the sudden boom of a voice beside you makes you jump and turn to him, clutching the clothes to your chest as you try to still your thumping heart, “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you, beautiful.”

Normally, you pay no mind to greasy men like him, but his cinched suit which was clearly tailor-made to fit and his sleek dyed brown hair was enough for you to give him a second glance. You can always spare some time for people who look good.

“Which one?” you ask, holding them back up at arm's length.

“The left one, I think you would look sexy in any of them, to be honest,” he smirks, thinking he’s being so smooth but you’re not really impressed by flattery. You know you look good, you see yourself in the mirror every day. Plus, he’s only trying to oil you up so he can either as you out or try and fuck you. The only one who genuinely gives you truthful advice or says you look good and mean it with no intention is Heeseung.

Your bodyguard is watching like a hawk, face steaming with anger as the guy puts his hand on your waist, holding one of the vest tops to your chest area. He’s already given the guy enough leeway by even letting him speak to you, but now he’s touching you, and Heeseung will be damned if he lets him get away with that.

With measured steps, Heeseung comes up behind you, licking his lips as hugs you from behind, “Baby girl, are you almost done?” he whispers loudly enough that the unwanted man in front of you can hear, “Who is this?” he asks, eyes now pointed forward.

The stranger's confidence falters under Heeseung's intense scrutiny, his eyes widening slightly as he realises the gravity of the situation. Heeseung's demeanour is unmistakably protective, his stance leaving no room for doubt about his intentions. His eyes are so dark that the boy knows that one wrong move will have Heeseung pouncing on him.

“I’m Woobin,” he says almost inaudibly. It’s amazing how quickly he resigned from his cocky attitude as soon as Heeseung made his presence known.

"Do you work here, Woobin?" Heeseung's voice is a low rumble against your ear, his lips trailing a path of kisses down your neck to your shoulder. His touch is electrifying, sending shivers down your spine as his hands caress your stomach, his thumbs tracing delicate patterns against the skin beneath your shirt

The butterflies in your tummy are fluttering around as if they’ve been disrupted from their nest by his touch. This is new, he hasn’t done this before, usually opting to just stand between you and potential danger. It's exhilarating and maddening all at once, the line between protection and possessiveness blurring in the heat of the moment.

Heeseung knows that if he simply said he was your security, it wouldn’t deter the man, he had to think on his feet. That and the way he touched you evoked something inside him, protectiveness laced with something else.

“I don’t work here, I-”

“Then get your hands the fuck off my girl,” Heeseung interrupts Woobin, maintaining eye contact with him as he bites down a little on the nape of your neck, almost like he’s physically marking you as his own in front of a potential suitor.

Your head is in a frenzy, knowing that Heeseung is stepping far beyond his role of protection, yet, you don’t stop him. It would be lying to say that his lips didn’t feel good on your skin, the way his fingers lightly gripped the softness of your stomach gave you fanny flutters like nothing else; as he boldly stakes his claim, you can't help but feel a surge of desire mingling with frustration

But this is also the man that is currently cockblocking you right now, stopping you from getting Woobin’s number and potentially a good fuck that you’re clearly in desperate need of; why else would you be getting turned on by Heeseung right now? This is the man you cannot stand, he is the last person on earth you want to be with.

Woobin awkwardly laughs and backs away, giving a slight wave to you as he walks out of the store, leaving you both in the thick silence.

As his form disappears into the distance, Heeseung stands by your side, his stare unflinching as he watches the threat go by, proud of himself for handling the situation quickly. Heeseung hasn’t let you go, his hands moving from your tummy to your waist, gripping it softly.

You don’t know what to do, still standing in a haze of shock and confusion, your eyes watching the back of Woobin with intensity. The man behind you didn’t even have to say much before Woobin was running with his tail between his legs.

Honestly, you know Heeseung can be intimidating, but this must have been a new level, even for him. You couldn’t see his eyes, yet, you know they held only room for intimidation.

Heeseung's attitude relaxes somewhat, but his protective stance remains firm. He slowly releases you from his grip, placing one last kiss on your neck for what reason he doesn’t know.

You take a moment to compose yourself, internally dealing with the mixed feelings of the encounter before pure rage flushes over you, “What the fuck was that?” you seeth, twisting your body to face him.

“What was what?” he asks, unfazed by your angry demeanour.

Slamming the vests back on the rack, you face him, your shorter stature suddenly being a hindrance as you try to act tough, “You know what! You just cockblocked me for no reason,” you ball your fists to the side of your hips, trying not to cause too much of a scene in the store.

“Good. God knows what he had, he was a creep,” Heeseung’s face is stoic, not giving much of his emotions away which only serves to piss you off more.

You wanted him to look a little bit sorry for overstepping, to say he was at least sympathetic towards your frustration. Instead, he just stands there, insulting the boy he didn’t even know.

Letting out a groan, you shut your eyes and unclench your hands, “I can’t ever have any fun with you around,” you try to calmly explain but as the words leave your lips, you begin to question why you’re trying to be civil in the first place.

This man is the bain of your existence, the reason you haven’t had sex in months, he is utterly infuriating and here he stands in front of you with no remorse for ruining your life.

Heeseung nods, feigning understanding as he leans down to make eye contact with you, his nose almost touching yours, “I don’t know, baby girl, it seems like you were having a blast a second ago,” he says smugly, a half smirk creeping onto his face.

You beam red, embarrassment and anger mixing to create a shade of crimson you didn’t know you could make. He was frustrating, arrogant, irrational, rude, cocky, and overall just irritating. You hate Lee Heeseung.

Winking at you, he nudges his nose with yours before standing back up, his figure back to towering over you, “Pick the one on the right and let’s get a move on,” he says, tucking his hands into his pockets and taking one giant step back.

It was like he was mocking you, giving you your space after infiltrating it as if he wasn’t leaving wet kisses on your neck five minutes ago.

With a huff, you face the two vests once again, looking between both options, each one having its own backer. You bite your lip and contemplate over them, choosing the one on the right.

_____

As you apply your final coat of mascara, you take one long look in the mirror. You look great, everything about you falls into place perfectly, your hair and makeup only adding to your beauty while the dress you’re wearing hugs you nicely.

Obviously, you don’t tell Heeseung that you had a party tonight, knowing that he would lock you up like some Disney princess in your castle. If there was one thing Heeseung hated more than men coming into your zone, it was parties where tons of men could.

The last party you went to was just before Heeseung arrived on the scene, the bodyguard now never letting you experience any joy or social gatherings that weren’t accompanied by him or a simple meet-up with friends. ‘There’s too much risk at a party’ he will always tell you.

A knock on your bedroom door almost makes you drop the mascara wand but you catch it before it causes disaster.

“I’m coming in,” Heeseung’s voice travels through the door before he swings it open. His eyes trail over your body as he assesses the outfit, “A bit dressed up for a night in with me, no?” he tries to pass it off as a lighthearted joke but he knows he’s about to argue with you about your plans.

“Oh, y’know, just thought I would try and make an effort to sit in and watch Louder Milk for the nth time,” you roll your eyes, twisting the mascara shut and turning to face him.

Heeseung grumbles, “Let’s cut to the chase where you tell me where you plan on going and I obviously stop you,” he crosses his arms and tilts his head expectantly.

But you can’t let him win, not this time around. It’s your best friend’s birthday night out and if you miss it, you’ll never be invited to anything again; you can’t miss a 21st birthday party and expect there not to be consequences, especially not in your circle of friends.

You finish getting ready with a sense of purpose, carefully placing your lip oil and hairbrush into your YSL bag. "I've got plans," you announce, nonchalantly shrugging your shoulders.

His brows furrow slightly. "You never mentioned we had plans tonight," he remarks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

"We don't have plans, Heeseung. I do. And you weren’t invited," you retort, your tone tinged with sarcasm as you shoot him a playful smirk.

He raises an eyebrow, trying to decipher your intentions. "A party? A date?" he ventures, scanning your attire and deducing that this isn't just a casual outing.

As you attempt to breeze past him, he swiftly moves to block the doorway with his arm, his muscles tensing as he grips the doorframe. You lock eyes with him, noticing the frustration brewing beneath the surface.

His jaw tightens as you stand your ground, a silent challenge passing between you, "Tell me where you're off to," he demands, his voice taking on a more authoritative tone.

You really need to get fucked because he’s suddenly turning you on, and his body starting to look like a jungle gym. Regardless of the fury and hatred for the boy in front of you, when he got angry, he was a new level of hot; it’s probably the reason you subconsciously push his buttons.

“I am going to Ryujin’s birthday party,” you confess, taking hold of his arm and trying to pry it from the wall, but he’s too strong and it doesn’t work. Even with all your efforts, it doesn’t budge.

Smiling at your feeble attempts to move him, Heeseung cockily leans on one foot, the other tucking behind his leg as he watches you struggle.

Undeterred, you try to slip under his arm, but he effortlessly scoops you up and returns you to your room, closing the door behind you with a practised ease. His years dealing with drunks at his previous job have endowed him with certain skills in handling runaways..

"Don't make this difficult, Y/N," he warns.

"You're the one being difficult! It's my best friend's birthday. Are you seriously telling me I can't go? I'm not in danger, you know," you retort angrily, frustration evident in your voice.

Heeseung understands that you're completely oblivious to the dangers lurking around your family, shielded by your innocent perspective. No one has bothered to inform you about your father's involvement in money laundering and his dealings with shady men. In your eyes, having a bodyguard feels like an unnecessary intrusion into your life rather than a protective measure.

"Listen, let's just imagine I let you go. Where is it?" he asks, a tinge of apprehension in his voice.

"Serenity," you reply, already sensing the tension building.

Heeseung's eyes widen in disbelief, "Serenity? The bar down by the loch? Are you serious?" he exclaims, his concern evident.

It was a losing battle the moment you opened your mouth. The bar isn’t known for its good reputation, it’s sleazy and grim, and despite its calm name, no one who occupies the bar could be considered peaceful.

Ryujin picked it simply because she likes to cosplay as a poor person sometimes, wondering what it would be like to live on the other side of wealth while obnoxiously spending a shit ton of money, completely rendering her ideas pointless.

You don’t agree with it but she is your best friend, the only person that gave you the time of day when you didn’t have a penny to your name all those years ago.

"I am not letting you step foot in that place," Heeseung asserts firmly, drawing a line in the sand.

“She hired out the whole bar, it’s not like anyone can just walk in,” you try to reason back but it doesn’t work as Heeseung’s resolve remains the same.

“You aren’t going, end of discussion. The whole neighbourhood is trouble and your friend is fucking stupid for this,” he scratches his jaw as the worst-case scenarios pop into his head. He might not like you but he really can’t stand some of the thoughts popping into his head, the urge to protect you growing stronger by the second.

The loch is a small part of town, mostly made up of deadbeats and criminals. Word spreads fast around there and there is a high chance the scums of the area know a bunch of snooty rich kids are going to be there for the picking.

You need to go, you can’t cancel any more plans so you need to think of something quick, “You can come with me,” you suggest, stepping closer to him. Would it be overbearing and annoying to have him there? Yes but at least you would be there. And it might actually be good if he was, after all, he is good at his job; you feel safe around him and the more he’s warning you away from Serenity and the loch, the more you’re starting to want his protection.

“I thought I wasn’t invited?” He raises his eyebrows sceptically.

Placing your hands on his chest, you trail them up to his shoulders, a pout forming on your lips. "Well, I'm inviting you now. Please, Heeseungie?" you implore, employing your best puppy-dog eyes and fluttering lashes in an attempt to sway him.

Typically, your pleading face doesn't work on him, but the combination of your hands massaging his tense shoulders and the endearing nickname starts to chip away at him.

"Fine. We can go for an hour or so, and then I'm taking you straight back home, understand?" he relents, already second-guessing his decision.

You squeal with joy, wrapping your arms around his neck and jumping up and down. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Finally, you've managed to reason with him.

Pushing you away gently, he clears his throat. "Be at the car in 10 minutes before I change my mind."

This is going to end disastrously.

_____

"Remember—"

"In your line of sight at all times," you finish, a hint of exasperation in your voice as you recite Heeseung's usual mantra.

Heeseung unbuckles his seatbelt with a grunt, his irritation clear as he mutters curses under his breath. He can't believe he's ended up in this mess, much less mocked by you. He is well aware that this is a recipe for disaster especially as he examines the area and notices gritty individuals prowling around the loch's borders, waiting for an opportunity to strike.

Heeseung is confident in his ability to handle himself; it's your safety that concerns him the most as he observes a suspicious figure crossing in front of your car.

You waste no time darting out of the car and hurrying to the club's entrance, leaving Heeseung trailing behind, a gust of wind in your wake.

"This fucking girl," he grumbles to himself as he parks the car and follows after you. He sees through your tactic—trying to get inside before him so he'll be left waiting outside while you venture off on your own. But he's not falling for it today.

He catches up to you just as you're about to give your name to the bouncer, his arm instinctively settling around your waist. The bouncer eyes Heeseung with a sceptical gaze, taking note of his attire and demeanour, which hardly scream 'rich kid bellend.'

As Heeseung squeezes your side, you shoot him a playful smirk over your shoulder. "Oh, this is my boyfriend. He's just trying to get into character for the place—dirty-chic and all that," you quip sarcastically, gesturing between him and the bouncer.

The bouncer chuckles at your comment, nodding in amusement. "You've done a good job. I almost mistook you for one of those creeps by the water," he jests, stepping aside to let you both in.

Heeseung doesn't react to your teasing or the bouncer's remarks. He's grown accustomed to such comments after spending the past few months with you and your friends. From being called shabby to poor, to filthy to crude, he's heard it all. Sometimes you apologise for your friend's words, but he knows the damage is already done.

It’s times like that that he has some faith in you, that you aren’t all diamonds and gold, that you do have a heart underneath it all.

Sticking close to you, you both end up at the bar ordering a gin and tonic for you and a water for himself. He knows everything about you by now, the constant watchful eye on you has got him to learn your favourite everything, so he finds himself ordering for you more times than not. That is, when you let him be actively seen with you.

"Can you vanish over there while I find Ryujin?" you ask, already scanning the room for the birthday girl.

Nodding, Heeseung points towards a nearby wall. "I'll be over there. If anything happens, remember to stay where I can see you. Don't run off; I will find you. And if you're going to the bathroom, come and get me," he advises, his tone firm as he leans down to emphasize the importance of his instructions.

"Yeah, sure," you reply casually, already making your way over to your friends at the other end of the bar, their excited screams and squeals guiding your path.

True to his word, Heeseung gives you space but remains vigilant, never taking his eyes off you. He's pleasantly surprised when three hours pass, and you're only on your second drink. Normally, he's had to carry you out of brunch with your university friends, and that's not even bottomless. Part of him thinks you’re remaining sober for your own vigilance, which makes him happy that you aren’t so reckless to get drunk in an unfamiliar setting around a lot of people you don’t know.

As the night progresses, Heeseung's gaze remains fixed on you from his position against the wall. He observes the way you interact with your friends, the genuine joy evident in your laughter and the twinkle in your eyes. Seeing you light up like this is a rarity, but it warms something inside him to witness you truly enjoying yourself.

Despite his reservations and occasional frustrations, Heeseung takes his role of keeping you safe very seriously. The thought of anything happening to you weighs heavily on his mind, not just because of the potential consequences from your father, but because he has come to genuinely care about your well-being. It's a realisation that surprises even him, how much he's come to feel responsible for you beyond just fulfilling his duties as a bodyguard.

Day by day, Heeseung finds himself spending more time in your presence. Even when he should be stationed at the front door, he often finds himself drawn to your side, whether it's watching TV shows together or cooking dinner. Sure, these moments are often punctuated by arguments over his choice of shows or the random spices he adds to your meals, but they keep things interesting, injecting a sense of spontaneity into his otherwise regimented routine.

And truth be told, he finds a strange satisfaction in winding you up, relishing the sight of the vein in your forehead protruding whenever you're exasperated with him. Despite the occasional clashes, there's an undeniable chemistry between the two of you, a dynamic that keeps him on his toes and reminds him that guarding you isn't just a job - it's become a massive part of his life.

Recently, he has become extra protective over you, the incident at the Prada store being a prime example. Men like Woobin are not the ones he should be protecting you from, but he can’t help it, you’re too precious to be led off by the likes of him.

Shaking his head, he disregards his last thought. You’re not precious, you’re a princess, a snooty diva with an attitude problem.

This is what he has to tell himself every day.

He watches you go up to the bar and sit on the stool as you order another drink, but his attention shifts to a familiar face in the crowd. Woobin - and he is walking straight for you. Like he hasn’t dealt with him enough today, it was almost as if thinking about him that manifested him straight into your lap.

As Woobin twists the stool you're sitting on to face him, Heeseung's grip on the empty cup tightens, his knuckles turning white with the effort to maintain his composure. He knows he can't just stride over there like he did at the store; he crossed a line then, kissing your neck was too far, and biting down on you to mark you was too far. But the possessive feeling that had simmered earlier resurfaces as he watches Woobin casually tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear.

His mind races with a mantra, a desperate attempt to keep his emotions in check. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here. The real threat to you is outside, not in here.

But as he watches Woobin's hand graze your leg, Heeseung's resolve crumbles.

"Fuck this," he mutters under his breath, his anger boiling over as he pushes himself off the wall and throws his cup away. Without a second thought, he makes a beeline for you, determined to put an end to this unwanted intrusion.

You suddenly feel Heeseung's chest press against your back, his presence feels overpowering, his aura dark and intense. You glance at Woobin and notice the fear flicker back into his eyes, just like before, as Heeseung speaks with a menacing tone, "Have you got a death wish or something, mate?" His question hangs in the air, a clear warning.

Woobin takes a step back, but despite the quiver in his pupils, he refuses to back down. "She obviously isn't satisfied with you," he retorts, attempting to sound tough. "She hasn't even tried to bat me off."

You scrunch your face in disbelief at Woobin's audacity. His attempt to turn the situation on you is off-putting, and any attraction you may have felt towards him suddenly dissipates.

Heeseung's gaze shifts down to you, his eyes hooded as he leans in close. "Is that true, baby girl? Do I not satisfy you?" His words send a shiver down your spine, leaving you momentarily speechless. Before you can form a response, he leans even closer, his breath hot against your cheek as he whispers in your ear, "You better agree with me, or else I'll punch his lights out, right here, right now."

His threat hangs in the air, leaving you feeling torn between conflicting emotions. As you struggle to find the right words, Heeseung's lips graze the skin of your earlobe, sending a jolt of sensation through you. You're unsure whether he's doing this to turn your mind to mush so you can do nothing but agree with him or assert his dominance over Woobin, who watches with a flushed neck, clearly intimidated by Heeseung's display of possessiveness.

Nodding slowly, you side-eye Heeseung, “Y-you do,” you say quietly but as he bites down on your ear and you yelp, you speak up a bit more confidently, “You do satisfy me.”

“Good girl,” he whispers, placing one final kiss on your ear, “You heard her, so get the fuck away from her, or I will throw your body in the loch and no one will even care to look for you,” he challenges Woobin, threatening him like some gangster.

As Woobin backs up and mutters ‘This is not fucking worth it’, Heeseung smiles triumphantly, knowing he’s scared him off for good. Heeseung fixes your hair, gathering it all to sit nicely at the back, running his fingers through it as he silently warns any other men in the club that you’re no one but his.

You hate to admit it, but it turns you on a little.

But your responsible head twists back on and you understand what Heeseung has done again, “Heeseung,” you slap his chest and push him away, “Stop fucking babying me!” Standing up from the stool, you weave through the people at the club in search of the exit, Heeseung’s antics finally pushing you too far.

"I am doing my job, Y/N," he shouts over the chatter and music, his voice barely audible amidst the din of the club.

"No, you aren't. That is not your job," you retort, your voice rising above the noise. "Pretending to be my boyfriend and scaring away potential fucks is not part of the remit!"

Your words hang in the air, heavy with frustration and disappointment. You push him away one more time, creating some distance between you before storming out of the club.

Fuming with anger and adrenaline, you make your way through the car park, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. Part of you resents Heeseung for his overbearing behaviour, but another part can't deny the thrill you felt with his protective display. It's infuriating to admit, but the feeling of his possessiveness is sending shivers straight down south, You hate that you're even thinking like this.

His touch on your ear and neck lingers in your mind, igniting a whirlwind of desire and confusion. You're not thinking straight anymore, and if Heeseung catches up to you, you're not sure how you'll react - whether it'll be pure anger or pure lust.

Either way, you need to get this steam out.

“Y/N! Get back here right now!” he shouts, pushing past the men who are ogling your figure.

As you hear his voice, something takes over you. You pull the first guy you see into a kiss, holding onto this jacket as your mouth moves against his.

Heeseung sees red, blood red as he watches you kiss the stranger. It’s reckless behaviour, your lips moving roughly against a guy probably twice your age but, of course, the guy doesn’t mind. He wraps his arms around you to bring you in closer. That gesture shakes Heeseung from his shock coma, his emotions fueling him.

But Heeseung can't stand idly by any longer. With a guttural growl, he yanks the man away from you, his anger propelling him into action. He delivers a punishing punch to the man's face, the force of it sending him crashing to the ground, sprawled across the gravel of the car park.

Heeseung doesn't stop there. He delivers a few more swift kicks to the man's prone form before turning his attention to you. Grabbing your arm with bruised hands, he hauls you towards the car, his grip tight and unforgiving.

"You're so fucking irresponsible," he seethes, his voice dripping with venom as he struggles to contain the storm of emotions raging inside him. The veins in his neck bulge with the intensity of his anger, his eyes flashing with a dangerous fire.

“Sorry if I want to have some fun,” you argue back, trying your hardest to release yourself from his firm hold.

As you both approach your car, he opens the door and shoves you in, “And kissing and fucking random guys is fun?” he slams the door behind you once he knows all your limbs are inside the vehicle.

Striding over to the driver's seat, he gets in quickly, locking the doors so you can’t make a quick escape. You don’t even attempt to try and flee, already knowing you’re only going to end up in a game of cat and mouse all night, and in this weather with your dress isn’t fun.

“I’m 20 years old, nearly 21, I can fuck if I want to,” you shout back, slamming your hand on the backrest to hammer home your point. You are old enough and wise enough to make your own decisions, Heeseung is only there to make sure you don’t end up getting kidnapped or whatever it is your dad thinks will happen to you.

"It's not wanting to fuck that is my problem, it's who you want to fuck," he growls, his voice tinged with bitterness.

You want to slap him, angry that he doesn’t seem to get it, “I don’t get to fuck anyone thanks to you,” you retort back with venom laced in your voice.

His entire body turns to face you, his gaze piercing through you as he asks, "You want to get fucked?"

“Yes! Obviously!”

Heeseung lunges towards you, pressing his lips to yours in a matter of seconds to your answer. At first, you’re confused at what is happening, the unfamiliar feeling of his mouth melting into yours causes your head to thump.

But as he moves you to lay back, flicking the seat to recline all the way back, you find yourself chasing his body with yours, your lips like magnets as they draw themselves back to his. He tastes sweet, not like how you expected, you were presuming it’s the flavour of his vape he swears he doesn’t use.

Shuffling your way up the seat, you spread your legs so he can situate himself neatly in between you, knees resting against the edge of the seat for support, his hands roaming all over your body and his kisses never faltering.

He was hungry for you, those tiny tastes of your neck served as appetisers before the main meal which was your mouth and tongue. Roughly, he brings one of his palms to cover your throat as squeezes, the consequential parting of your lips as you gasp gives him access to lick into your mouth. The grip on your throat is heavenly, just tight enough to make your brain go fuzzy but not to the point you think you’re in danger.

With a quick roll of his hips, you feel the outline of his cock being pushed onto your core, even through jeans he’s prominent, only building up your anticipation more. He does this a few times, each time the rough edges of his zipper rub your barely covered clit, eliciting a moan from you.

Heeseung's smirk widens at your response, his gaze flickering with desire as he watches the desperation in your eyes. Without hesitation, he leans in closer, his breath hot against your ear as he repeats his question, this time with less anger and more longing. "You want to get fucked?"

Your breath catches in your throat at his words, your desire for him burning hotter than ever before. "Yes, please, Heeseung," you whimper, using your hands to hold his hips against yours as you rut yourself desperately against him, humping his length through his jeans.

Heeseung almost feels bad for you, clearly, he underestimated how much you needed to seek release. No wonder you were willing to entertain someone like Woobin. He had to make this worth the frustration he has been causing you.

The pressure of Heeseung's hand around your throat tightens, eliciting a gasp from your lips as you struggle to catch your breath, "You sure you want to fuck a guy like me?" he hisses, his voice tinged with both agitation and desire, the intensity of his gaze burning into yours.

Despite the lack of air, you manage to choke out your response, your voice laced with desperation, "Yes, Heeseung, I need you."

A smug smirk plays across Heeseung's lips at your admission, his grip on you tightening ever so slightly. "Oh, I know you need me, Sweetheart," he replies, his tone dripping with confidence. "You're staining my jeans as we speak." His words send a shiver down your spine, a potent mixture of arousal and frustration coursing through you.

But then his question cuts through the haze of desire, forcing you to confront the reality of the situation, "I'm asking if you want to go back to little Woobin now?" he taunts, knowing full well the answer already. He just wants to hear you say it.

With a shake of your head, you release your hold on his hips and begin to unbutton his jeans, determination blazing in your eyes. "No," you confess, your voice barely above a whisper. "No, I only want you."

“Thought so,” he kisses you again before releasing your throat, focusing his hand's attention on ridding you of your pants while you work to get his trousers out of the way. He tugs your underwear down, tossing them to his side of the car before lining himself up at your hole.

Wrapping your legs around his hips, you try to push him to slip into you, but he keeps his hips rigid, only making you look more desperate for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock, each time it slaps down, he echoes it with a tut.

“You don’t even know if I’ll fit,” his voice whispering in your ear as he licks the shell of it, “All those preppy rich boy cocks aren’t anything like mine,” he takes your wrist in his hand and guides you to feel his length as it sits neatly in your folds, “See?”

Whining, you pout, knowing he’s just teasing you for badness, “I promise I can handle it,” you say lowly, pumping his cock between your cunt and hand. The motion makes Heeseung hiss in pleasure, the feeling of his cock trapped only adding to his anticipation of being inside you.

He moves in for a chaste kiss on your lips, his touch soft despite the intense need between you, "I'll go slow," he tells you, his words a balm in the midst of the intense moment. Even in the heat of passion, Heeseung is driven by his instinct to protect you.

With one swift movement, he slides into your heat slowly, letting you stretch around him. Surprisingly to both of you, your pussy is accommodating him perfectly, the stretch a little painful but not unbearable. He shallowly moves his hips back and forth, watching his cock disappear into you further and further each time until he’s bottoming out and tapping your cervix lightly.

Heeseung isn't wrong when he tells you that no other cock you've had can compare to his. Every curve and ridge of his dick seems perfectly designed to hit every sweet spot inside you, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. It's an otherworldly sensation, the way he gains traction with each movement, his confidence growing as he senses your comfort and willingness to take more.

"You're so tight, baby girl," he murmurs between kisses.

Lost in the throes of passion, you cling to Heeseung, your bodies moving in perfect synchronisation as you lose yourself in the sensation of him filling you completely. Each thrust sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through you, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing moment.

Heeseung's hands roam over your body, exploring every curve and contour with a hunger that matches your own. His touch is both gentle and possessive, his fingers leaving a trail of fire in their wake as they trace the contours of your skin. The pads of his fingers roughly grab your tit that’s managed to escape your dress, twisting your nipple between his finger and thumb.

Your hands are in a similar position, running along his toned stomach under his shirt, trying to commit it to memory, just in case you never get to do this again. You wish this was happening with zero clothes in the way but the desperation between you both got in the way.

As the intensity of your desire builds, Heeseung's movements become more urgent, his thrusts growing deeper and more powerful with each passing moment. You can feel the tension coiling within you, the promise of release looming on the horizon like a distant storm.

“You’re squeezing me so tight, Y/N. I won’t last much longer,” he admits, knowing that he’s close to the edge himself.

“Need it, I need you to cum,” you moan loudly, your hand leaving his skin to find your clit, rubbing it vigorously as you try and speed along your orgasm.

Your words drive Heeseung to pound into you faster, willing both of you to come undone together. The car shakes as you both speed up your movements, your hips trying to match his rhythm to create a deeper impact with each buck of his hips.

With a final, desperate thrust, Heeseung drives you both over the edge, sending you spiralling into ecstasy. Wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you, leaving you breathless and trembling under him, the ropes of his cum coating your heat.

“Oh, fuck,” he groans, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he feels his cock swell and throb inside of you, “Cum with me, Y/N. Please.”

Circling your arms around his shoulders, you hug him close to you as his body shivers, still reeling from the aftermath of his climax. You lay like that for a few minutes, processing everything that just transpired between you both.

“Are you okay?” he asks, holding himself up to face you, one hand wiping your sweaty bangs from your forehead.

Nodding, you shut your eyes, massaging his shoulders lightly as you let bliss take over you, “I feel great,” you smile.

Heeseung grabs your pants from the driver seat and bundles them up, using them as a makeshift cloth to clean you up, spitting on them before running them along your swollen cunt, “We can’t do this ever again,” he says quietly, his breathing starting to regulate again.

“What do you mean?” you lean on your elbows, looking up at him with confusion, “Was it not okay?”

Of course, it was okay, Heeseung thinks your pussy might be the best he’s ever had, but it’s not logical to try and keep this fantasy alive. You were too different, this encounter was fueled by anger and rage between you both, hardly the start of a picture-perfect relationship.

He discards your underwear and pulls his own bottoms up, tucking his softening cock into his boxers and jeans, “It was great, but I’m supposed to protect you, not fuck you,” he says, shuffling back into his seat, starting the car.

“We’ll use protection next time,” you shrug, fixing your seat to sit upright, “It’s no big deal.”

Heeseung sighs, his frustration evident as he starts the car and pulls out onto the road. "You know that's not what I mean, Y/N," he replies, his voice tinged with resignation.

The rest of the drive home is filled with silence, the weight of unspoken words hanging heavy in the air. Heeseung's thoughts swirl with the fear of losing his job, the guilt of failing to protect you, and the sudden need to be inside you all the time.

“We forget about this, okay?” he asks, eyes flickering to you.

You nod in agreement, but a smirk tugs at the corners of your lips, betraying your true thoughts. Deep down, you know that you won’t forget about it, and this will certainly not be the last time you find yourself fucking Lee Heeseung - You'll make sure of it.

#enha smut #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #enha x reader #heeseung smut #lee heeseung smut #aj writes #enhypen angst #enhypen fic #e2l is slowly becoming my fave to write

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reiderwriter · 7 months

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Hating You Is The Easiest Thing I Can Do

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Summary: When your boss pulls your case out from under you and gives it right to the BAU, you're pissed. You're even more pissed when Doctor Spencer Reid suggests you can't do your job properly. After a week in his company, you decide to give him a piece of your mind

Warnings: Day One of Kinktober - Hate Sex, enemies to lovers, dom/sub, Mean!Dom!Spencer, Brat!Reader, spanking, degradation, spanking, spit kink, sir kink, vaginal fingering, slight creampie, Reader's boss is an asshole, typical office misogyny. Spencer is also an asshole, but that's just because he's a dumbass.

A/N: Special thank you to @reidmotif and @mrs-dr-reid for proofreading this one for me! I wrote this when on a major Pride and Prejudice moment, which is why there's a whole lot of plot before the sex. I hope you like the build-up just as much as the smut! <3 If you like it, don't forget to leave a like, reply, or reblog and tell me your thoughts! ((just as a reminder, apart for Sundays and Tuesdays, I'll be posting all the kinktober fics on AO3 exclusively, so check out my writing there - reiderwriter))

My requests are also back open now, so if you like my writing and have an idea, check out my request guidelines and drop me a message in my inbox! You can find the rest of my masterlist here :)

To say you were angry was an understatement. You were seething, the anger bubbling up inside of you and threatening to lash out at anyone who so much as crossed your path as you made your way down the crappy motel corridor. You'd only known Spencer Reid a week, but you could think of no one you despised more.

The FBI had always been a boys' club, you knew that. There were some goddamn strong women in your field office, of course, but you were outnumbered 10 to 1. Which was why you were so determined to do well on the first case assigned to you as lead Agent. The first week of the case, you'd made sure you were thorough. A body had been found in the park by a jogger, and you darted to the crime scene the moment you got the call. A woman in her early twenties, like you, had been raped, tortured, and then dumped here, her body posed in a demeaning way to make it seem as if she were performing a sexual act. Your entire body shuddered at the sight, but you couldn't let your coworkers see you weak so you powered through. Collecting evidence, getting an ID on the victim, interviewing potential witnesses, and yes, even breaking the news to the poor girl's family, you had been so attentive to every detail of the case and you felt you were making progress, your boss delivered a humbling blow.

"Another body has been discovered. I've invited the Behavioural Analysis Unit in from Quantico because you're in over your head." He'd told you, not even looking up at you from the file he was reading on his desk.

"What? I wasn't told about another body, why wasn't I notified?"

"I didn't think you needed to know, now that the BAU is coming in."

"So I'm off the case? That's it?"

"No, I want you to assist them in their investigation. Tell them everything you've gathered so far, get them situated in the office as best you can."

"Get them coffee when they want it? Rub their feet if they ask for it? This is bullshit, I was making progress, if you'd only have given me more time-"

"Agent, I suggest you walk out of this office right now and get your PMSing under control before I have to suspend you from fieldwork." You pressed your nails further into the beds on your palms then and bit back your tongue from replying, simply giving a terse nod and exiting the office.

It wasn't even an hour later before the new team arrived, and you offered a tense smile and welcome as you got them set up in their own office. The Unit Chief didn't seem too bad, but Aaron Hotchner couldn't exactly be described as the most welcoming of people, and you felt an instant camaraderie with JJ, the other agent who'd come into the office with him. There were more agents apparently, but they'd gone out into the field to check out the new victim and reinterview the family, something you weren't exactly happy about. But, if you were going to be their little bitch for the next week, you were at least thankful they were tolerable and polite.

"So here's everything I've got so far. I've been pretty thorough in my interrogations of potential witnesses, and there are no CCTV cameras in the general vicinity of the dump sites, so I don't think you'll find anything else there that'll aid in your profile."

" If you'd have been thorough you'd have found this though, right?" A new voice popped up from the door, and you felt yourself tense up under the sudden accusation. Looking up you saw he was holding up his phone, a picture of a strange marking on a tree lighting up the screen.

"Excuse me?"

"This was left on a tree roughly thirty feet from the first dump site. I called Rossi and Morgan and they found a similar marking near the second victim. It's a Mesopotamian symbol relating to the worship of prostitutes and sex workers to promote fertility." He spoke plainly, but all you could hear was the condescension in his tone, and your blood boiled with rage.

" Agent Y/L/N, I'm sorry about him, this is Doctor Spencer Reid, he's another member of our team." JJ introduced the man, sending him a warning glance, as if letting him know that he hadn't just put his foot in his mouth directly.

You looked at the man then, really focusing on him now instead of the pictures, and almost cursed out loud again. He was a jerk, but fuck was he attractive. Tousled hair, dark eyes, and a perfectly sculpted jaw, it was as if he were sent from hell directly to piss you off and tempt you. You pushed the attraction aside for the minute then, choosing to be the bigger person and introduce yourself.

"I'm Agent Y/N Y/L/N. And I'm sorry that I'm not an expert on Mesopotamian prostitutes, but I guess that's probably your specialty, right, Doctor?" You held out your hand for him to shake, but he just looked down at it.

"If you're referring to my doctorate, I actually didn't study classic civilizations. I hold PhDs in Math, Chemistry, and Engineering and additional BAs in Psychology, Philosophy, and Sociology. And I don't do handshakes." He glanced straight past you after that, walking back over to Hotch and filling him in on other things you must've overlooked during your brief time working the case.

You glared at his back, finally letting your hand drop to your side again as you let out an angry chuckle.

"Don't take it personally, Spencer is just… He’s He's not great with people. He'll warm up to you." JJ put a reassuring arm on your shoulder and you nodded. But inside you knew there was not one thing the man could do to reverse the bad opinion of him you'd just gained.

–X–

After the initial anger of having the case seeped out from beneath you wore off, you actually began enjoying your time with the BAU. You hadn't put much thought into profiling before, it usually being so far off your radar while you were working in the field office but you were actually coming to enjoy how they worked, and you'd learned a lot.

Your relationship with Spencer, however, only degraded.

Your hatred had reignited the moment you'd been joined by the rest of the BAU Team. Your boss has finally come down to greet them, and, almost as if making you pay for your earlier comments, had genuinely sent you on a coffee run for them. You could deal with the fact that the man had the most annoyingly complicated coffee order you'd ever heard of in the Bureau, but what you couldn't forgive were the sly comments you walked in on when you returned.

"Come on, Reid. That Agent is easy on the eyes, you should talk to her, get you a slice of that." You'd been introduced to Derek Morgan earlier and you'd instantly pegged him as a flirt, so this wasn't exactly shocking to you. What was a bit surprising was the other man's reply.

"If she's attractive I hadn't noticed. I've been too busy trying to clear up her mess with this case."

You walked in the door then, coffees in hand, and slammed his drink down on the table for him. You handed Morgan to him, double-checking that you'd got both of their orders right before shooting another glare at the man and walking away to find the rest of the team.

But not before hearing Morgan chastise Reid in another whisper: "God man, you gotta be nicer to the kid…"

To say that your working relationship had soured totally after your two personal encounters with the man was simply an untruth. You didn't have a working relationship, you had a working rivalry.

From then on, you'd slyly interrupt the man when he was speaking, telling him to cut his genius rambles in half, that you didn't have all day to sit around and wait for him to stutter his way through his theory while there was a murderer on the loose.

He didn't hold back either, constantly asking you questions he knew you didn't know the answers to, just to smile slyly down at you and make you admit that you weren't as good as him. It was getting so detrimental to the office atmosphere that you had to be genuinely separated after only three days, Hotchner bringing you into the field with him on multiple occasions and forcing Reid to stay behind with JJ to work on a geographical profile.

You'd been with Hotchner at a family interview, working with him to gain details of the second victim's actions and whereabouts leading up to her murder to establish a timeline when you got a call.

Excusing yourself from the room, you quickly picked up the call.

"This is Agent Y/L/N."

"Hotch isn't picking up his phone." That was all the explanation you got from the man on the other side of the phone, his voice instantly grating.

"Yes, I'd assume he isn't, Doctor Reid, because we are currently interviewing a bereaved mother and father and he put his phone on silent. Is there something you need?"

"I need to talk to Hotch."

"Well, you called me. What do you need?" You heard him breathe out a frustrated sigh on the other side of the line, and you rolled your eyes, slightly enjoying being this stubborn and getting under his skin.

"Just tell him we're ready to give the profile, okay?" He hung on you after that and you cursed him down the line, receiving nothing back but the empty beeps of the dial tone.

–X–

It didn't take long after delivering the profile to get your guy, but as he hadn't been in the middle of committing any felonies when you picked him up, you'd had to spend a few days in the interrogation rooms.

Hotch had taken a crack at him and gotten nowhere, and so had Rossi and Emily and Morgan. JJ had been the one to make the arrest, so she went in last and still came out with nothing much. He hadn't layered up yet, as they'd suspected he wouldn't, too egotistical to allow anyone else into the room that he thought he was going to talk himself out of.

"We're getting nowhere with this, Hotch. I think I have an idea that could get him to start talking." Reid said as you all stared at the man through the one-way glass.

"What, you think you can charge in there and get him to talk?" It was petty, but it'd been a stressful week, and he was used to this flow of conversation between the two of you.

"No, you are. Hotch, she fits his type, she's attractive, same build and coloring as the previous two victims. I think it'd work." You scoffed at his suggestion.

"Oh so now you think I'm attractive? I thought you hadn't noticed because you were, what, too busy cleaning up my mess?" You crossed your arms as he gave you an incredulous look, and you realized that he didn't think you'd heard him.

"Spencer's right, Y/N." Hotch nodded, looking between the two of you to see if he needed to pull you apart to keep you from fighting or to keep you from jumping each other. You personally weren't sure which you'd like most at that point, cursing yourself as you let your eyes trail down his body.

"It's going to excite him having you so close, you should pop a few of those buttons, too," Reid suggested looking down at your chest as you scoffed and crossed your arms.

"Oh you'd really like that," you mumbled under your breath, but a swift look from Hotch had you shutting your mouth again as he began to brief you.

Going in you felt a surge of pettiness seep through you. You were going to nail this guy, get him to talk about every little nasty thing he did to those girls, and prove to your boss that you could do this when every member of the BAU had tried and failed. But a small, dim, and annoying reminder at the back of your head whispered in your ear that you'd be pleasing Spencer then as well. Proving him right. You weren't sure if you wanted to succeed to hear him or your boss say "good job" to you after you finally succeeded, but when you imagined it with him, he was a whole lot closer, right in your ear, body pressed against yours.

You focused on your anger over your attraction and pushed into the room, ready to stare down a monster and escape unharmed.

–X–

It had worked, of course. It had taken a few hours of building rapport but you'd done it. You'd had him eating out the palm of your hand while he confessed to the three murders you knew about and an extra four that you didn't.

A day of retrieving bodies later and by 10 pm, the case was finally closed.

"Well done, kid, you really got him in that interview. That was some great work." Morgan nudged your elbow as he grabbed his duffle, exiting the makeshift office.

"Don't forget we're getting drinks at the cocktail bar in half an hour. Shower off that mud and change into a hot dress, Agent, and I'll buy you your first shot." Emily called back to you from the exit too, leaving you in a fit of giggles as you promised her you would.

Once they'd all gone, you started packing up your things ready to leave yourself when there was another knock at the door.

" Hey, I need to grab my bag." Reid stood in the door awkwardly, and your smile dropped into a politely neutral face as you nodded to him.

"Don't let me stop you, Doc."

"Spencer."He said, stepping a bit closer to you.

"What?"

"I want you to call me Spencer. You keep calling me Doctor or Doc, I want you to call me Spencer."

"No. Doctor Reid is just fine for me."

"And what if I want more?" He grabbed your wrist as you turned to go, using a bit too much force and leaving you stumbling into him, hitting his chest as you looked up at him, your noses almost touching with the proximity.

"Let me go," you growled, but his grip loosened and you didn't move an inch.

"What if I want more?" He asked again, a little more insistent this time, his eyes dark in the dim room, expression unreadable.

"Why should I care what you want, Doctor Reid?"

"Because I think you want it, too. Because I think that despite all the odds, you want me just as much as I want you."

Your anger burst out of you in a sarcastic laugh then at his presumptuous words.

"Despite all the odds? What odds are those Spencer? You treat me like shit, ignoring me, refusing to even shake my hand, and downplaying the hard fucking work I put in before you got here? God, you are so fucking narcissistic." You finally stepped away from him then, turning away to regain your composure.

"Me? I'm not the one who missed some vital fucking evidence in a murder investigation, Y/N, so I'm sorry I wasn't the most welcoming person, but God if we're talking egos, you should probably check yourself."

"Forget it, you're impossible. I really tried to be nice to you, but more fool me for making messes you had to clean up."

"Are you still stuck on that? Y/N, I'm sorry, but Derek just has a way of-" He stepped closer to you again and you could feel the oxygen being sucked from your lungs.

"Don't you dare blame this on Morgan. You're attracted to me and you fucking despise that, and it's none of Morgan’s fault. Now please, just get out of this fucking office and go back to your motel room." You practically hissed those last words at him, holding back the urge to scream in frustration. Your lips were so close now, as his chest heaved, hands clenched by his sides as he resisted the urge to grab you.

"Forgive me… for suggesting something so obviously repulsive to you." With that, he brushed past you and walked out, leaving you reeling at his almost confession, head light from the lack of air. He'd taken your breath with him as he left the room.

–X–

The promise of free shots had convinced you to get back out to the bar as promised, not letting Reid and his fickle moods control when and where you'd be enjoying yourself.

You finally showed up at the bar and were greeted by hugs from JJ and Emily, already one drink in as they immediately handed you a shot from the bar. Guiding you back to the table, you paused as you saw him there.

Morgan was sat at the table, happily chatting away with Reid, who'd since grown quiet, eyes meeting yours before leaving to rake down your frame. You resisted the urge to cover yourself, confidently standing tall as he devoured you with his eyes. Changing out of your work clothes, you'd decided that you needed some fun tonight, donning a short red dress, barely hitting the tops of your thighs, hugging your curves tightly, and pushing your chest up so it nearly spilled out completely. You'd completed the look with thigh-high black boots and a red lip, looking the absolute image of lust - or anger - personified.

"Whew mama, you look good, Y/N." Morgan greeted you, standing up to give you a kiss on the cheek. Reid still said nothing but kept his eyes trained on you as he took another sip of his drink.

"I was promised shots and dancing, I think I'm dressed pretty appropriately don't you think?" You smiled and giggled up at Morgan, letting your touch linger on him a little longer to see if it would spur Reid into action.

"Have I ever told you about my very good friend Penelope Garcia? I think you two would get along just fine."

The rest of the night continued in a similar vein. You'd stepped out onto the dance floor with Emily and JJ, letting whatever man wanted to sidle up close, begging one of them to be a distraction from the man whose eyes were boring into you from the other side of the room. It didn't work. Their hands were on your hips, guiding you to the sound of the music but in your head, all you saw was him, doing the same.

It didn't help that he was getting hit on constantly from his perch beside Morgan, and you watched with a bitter feeling at the bottom of your stomach as women tried, unsuccessfully, to get him to pay attention to them. After another frustrating invitation for a tryst with a local man, you excused yourself from the dance floor, finding Morgan in the bar, letting him know that you were calling it a night.

"Where's Reid?" You asked, trying and failing to sound casual as you glanced around the now crowded bar for signs of him.

"He left like ten minutes ago. Said he was tired and went back to the motel."

"Was he…" You didn't want to finish the question, not knowing which answer you'd prefer, but Morgan filled in the gaps himself with a wide grin.

"Alone? Yes, kid. Here, it's the address of the motel we're staying at and his room number." You hesitated before grabbing the paper and grabbing your stuff, practically running from the bar and hopping in the nearest taxi.

–X–

That's how you found yourself stomping down the corridor of the motel, pounding on his door at 1 a.m., unashamed in your brazen actions. He opened the door, slightly shocked to see you there, and you pushed your way inside and turned on him as you shut the door.

"What the fuck was all of that?" You demanded as soon as he turned back to you. His shirt was open now, jacket and tie discarded on the floor somewhere deeper into the room, but you forced yourself to look up into his eyes, away from the pale plains of his skin.

"What was what, Y/N?"

"You, staring at me like that the whole night and then just leaving."

"Did you want me to stay?"

"I want you to stop answering my questions with questions, Reid. This is bullshit, you can't act like a dick to me all week and then look at me like I'm a piece of meat you want to rip apart, for fucks sake."

"You made it very clear earlier tonight that you wanted no part of this, Y/N. Are you saying I should've done something else?"

"That's another fucking question, Spencer! If you don't start actually talking to me, I swear to god, I'll-" You ran a hand through your hair, and when you looked up again, he was closer than ever. You backed up into the wall, but he followed you, pressing a leg between your own. Slowly and with that condescending grin plastered across his face, he drawled out his next words.

"You'll what?"

Your lips crashed against his with the fury of your frustrations, a mess of teeth and tongue and biting anger as you surged forward into him.

With a rough push of your hips, he slammed you back into the wall, taking charge of the situation, coaxing his tongue into your mouth, battling you for control, and winning. Grabbing you by the neck he slowly pulled his lips away from yours, leaving you gasping for breath.

"Don't be such a brat, Y/N. When I ask you questions, it's because I want answers." You moaned as you tried to regain his lips, but he chuckled and kept you pinned.

"Tell me, baby, what should I have done earlier instead? Got down on my knees to beg your forgiveness, or thrown you over that desk and used you like a cheap little whore? I think I know which one you prefer."

You moaned at his words, but kept your mouth twisted in a grimace, choosing not to answer. He got tired of waiting, and, with a swiftness you didn't know he possessed, twisted you around so your hands were planted against the wall, your chest pushing against it too as he pulled your hips up and out, effectively baring your pantie-clad pussy to him as your dress pushed up and over your ass all by itself.

"So fucking slutty. You let all those men in that club touch you while you stared at me the entire time." He ran his hands across your ass massaging you underneath your underwear before pulling his hands away again and grabbing your hips. He pushed his clothed cock against you from behind and you moaned at how hard and big he felt already.

"Was this what you wanted, brat?"

"Go fuck yourself."

"I think you'd much prefer it if I fucked you, don't you think?" He turned you around again, lifting one of your legs up to wrap around him, the new angle pressing your core further into his cock.

"Open your mouth, now." Against your better judgment, your body reacted to him quickly, your tongue dropping out of your mouth as he ground his cock into your core, effectively dry-humping you. With a swift motion, he spat in your mouth, your eyes going wide as you instinctively shut your mouth and swallowed.

"Good girl," he stroked your hair, lifting you up and carrying you to the bed. His lips locked with yours as you tasted his spit on your lips, letting him take control and move you in any way he pleased.

"But you've been a brat," he said pulling away. "And brats need to be punished."

With that he forced you over his knee, pulling your panties down as he positioned your hips higher, your ass raised. He fisted one hand into your hair and began softly stroking your ass with the other.

"You're going to count for me, baby. If you lose count, we'll start again. With each number, I'll tell you what you did wrong, okay?"

"Fuck, yes, yes sir." With another soft touch, he pulled his hand up and bought it back again down sharply, letting it cup your ass as you hissed from the sting.

"O-One."

"That was for being a brat in the office. Being so confident you missed some vital evidence that was staring you right in the face."

He did it again, and you squirmed under his touch.

"Two."

"That was for teasing me in front of Hotch. Making me get hard right there in the office before you went to interrogate that creep."

"That made you hard?" You gasped out as he cracked out another slap to your ass. "Three."

"That was for talking. You need to stop fucking talking." He stroked your ass again, delivering a fourth, fifth, and sixth blow in quick succession as you felt yourself leak your arousal all over his lap.

"That was for dressing like a little whore tonight. That was for flirting with Morgan. That was for letting another man touch you. What do you have to say for yourself now, brat?" Your breaths stuttered out of you as you tried to compose yourself, confident that he'd finished your punishment now.

"G-Go…. FuckFuck yourself." He growled and threw you back on the bed, ripping your dress off over your head and letting his lips return to yours as he trailed his hand to between your legs, finally pushing two fingers inside of you as you moaned and writhed beneath him.

" I hate you," you moaned in his ear as his lips trailed down to your breasts.

"You have a funny way of showing it." Your orgasm was rapidly approaching, so close you could practically taste it. He sensed it as well, though, and pulled his fingers out of you before you could reach that bliss.

"You thought it would be that easy, brat?" he whispered in your ear with a low chuckle before flipping you over to your front and thrusting his fingers back into you from behind, causing another moan to rip from your throat, uncontrollably loud in the otherwise silence of the motel at night.

Unzipping his pants and freeing his cock, you felt the weight of it on your ass as he rubbed his precum against your now bright red asscheeks.

"You're going to look so pretty with my cum decorating your ass baby. It's going to make your ass feel better, too."

"You're disgusting," you spit at him, but your hips push harder into his dick, trying desperately to capture him inside of you and force him to use you.

"No more talking, bitch. Take my fingers." He pushed a hand into your mouth and you started twirling your tongue around them, using your distraction to finally violently thrust his dick all the way inside you. You screamed at the sudden filling, cumming around his cock in an instant, trying to milk him for all he was worth. But he clamped a hand down over your mouth so that all that fell from your face was escaped tears and muffled pleas for more.

"Gonna use you like this baby, gonna make you admit you love me."

His thrusts gained a steady pace as your brain emptied beneath him, desperate for more of the pleasure his body was supplying you with. He released your mouth then, content that all your energy seemed to be spent on pushing your ass back into his, listening to the wet, sloppy sounds of your activity.

"Do you like that, brat? You like me making you feel like this, huh?" He slapped your ass again as he thrust, and you moaned back with a nod.

"Yes, Spencer, don't stop… Don't stop." You moaned again, another orgasm rolling over your body, causing you to clench unconsciously around his cock.

"So good baby, you're responding so well to my cock." He trailed a hand underneath you to your clit and started rubbing it in time to his thrusts.

"One more for me. One more and I'll pull out, okay? Just one more."

"I can't, Spencer I can't do it.." You whined underneath him, face fully buried in the motel pillows. You were surprised he even heard you through the tears as the material.

"Yes you can, baby, look you're so close already, just do one more."

"I hate you," you moaned again, feeling your third and final orgasm wash over you, your eyes rolling back in your head as your body started twitching and didn't stop. You felt a small twitch from him too, as he finished thrusting inside of you, letting a little bit of his cum escape into you before pulling out and decorating your ass with his ejaculation.

He fell by the side of you and gasped desperately for a few minutes, before grabbing a hot wet towel from the bathroom and cleaning your ass off.

"Spencer…" you croak out eventually, regaining some clarity, but still not moving much from your spot in his bed.

"Spencer, I don't hate you."

"I know. I don't hate you either. Which is probably for the best."

"What? Why?"

"Hotch just requested your transfer to the Quantico Office so you could start training with the BAU. You did a good job this week, Y/N." Your eyes started watering again and you gently pushed away tears as he laughed at you, asking why you were crying.

"I'm not happy," you joked.

"I just realized that means I have to work with you more." You both laughed at that. You didn't hate each other exactly, but that didn't mean you could work together well either.

And you didn't want to if this was the outcome of your bickering and hatred.

#kinktober 2023 #spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #spencer reid x self insert #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid kinktober #criminal minds kinktober #spencer reid x reader smut #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x oc #hate sex #enemies to lovers

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astraystayyh · 7 months

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skz quotes series masterlist

these are the fics i am currently working on, where the quote is part of the dialogue or it inspired the fic as a whole!! brainstorming these was very fun, i hope you'll enjoy reading it <3 2/8 done.

chan x reader. soulmates!au. strangers to lovers.

in a world where you can only see colors once you meet your designated soulmate, you already know that you and chan weren't destined for another. but maybe, just maybe, the stars were wrong about you both.

"on purpose. i love him on purpose." - Casey Mcquinston.

Echoes of love- minho x reader. lovers to (one sided) strangers. memory loss trope. [posted]

if given the choice to, would you love minho again? yes, you would've once said in a heartbeat. but now, you aren't sure of your response anymore.

"to love someone is to firstly confess, I'm prepared to be devastated by you." - Billy-Ray Belcourt.

changbin x reader. fwbs with so much emotional and physical tension.

things were clear and simple between you and changbin- a strictly physical relationship with no strings attached. until those same threads bursted at the seams, making you question everything you thought you knew about him.

"if i kissed you right now, i don't think I'd be able to stop." - unknown. & "please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it" - Mikko Harvey

hyunjin x reader. art students. forced proximity. slow burn. hanahaki disease!au.

working on an assigned art project for three months with hyunjin is an easy task, right? not so much when you're both exactly what the other is afraid of, and simultaneously, terribly longing for.

"f i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more." - Jane Austen.

Volcano- han x reader. enemies to friends to lovers. uni au. [posted]

you've never gotten along with han, your mutual prejudices ruining any prospect of friendship between you both. but you slowly realize that you are more similar than what you originally thought- your darkness recognizing his, and his light yearning for yours.

"I'll take care of you. it's rotten work. not to me, not if it's you." - Anne Carson.

felix x reader. exes to lovers. second chances. [au is yet to be determined]

in which you meet your ex felix years down the road, and you realize that maybe, just maybe, the love never truly deserted your heart.

"for a while it was love, wasn't it? for me, it was love." - Unknown.

seungmin x reader. best friends to lovers with a taste of unrequited love.

seungmin believed he was content with only being your friend. of being the one picking up pieces of you that others carelessly broke. but in the depths of his bruised heart, he desperately needed you to stitch him back together, for once.

"oh god, please. please. love me. love me. desperation sits heavy on my tongue." - a.m.

jeongin x reader. strangers to lovers.

jeongin hated the commute he took daily from his hometown to his work in Seoul. Until the day you stepped in the train and sat on the seat facing him, changing his view of this train ride, and his life.

"on the train we swapped seats, you wanted the window and i wanted to look at you." - Mahmoud Darwish

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

the taglist for this series is open, there is no set schedule nor a particular order. comment or send me an ask if you want to be added. (general taglist is also open :))

p.s: if u happen to know whose the owner of these quotes, please tell me. most of them come from tiktok slideshows ajdjdh

#skz quotes series #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #skz fluff #skz angst #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #skz reactions #skz fanfic #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios

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josnhoes · 9 months

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Platonic!Yan batfam with young adult reader. Part 4

[Part 3]

Note: Reader is 18-22 years old. Gn reader

Content warning: being treated like a child, being looked down on, stalking, obsessions, soft yandere but still a yandere, reader has memory issues and it's ambiguous as to why, delusional batfam, batfam as a whole basically view you as a child younger then Damien despite you being older, reader is questioned by police, reader witnessed a crime, reader tried to be a hero, violence, blood, mentions of death, dissociation, abduction

Focus Dick (Nightwing)

------

Life moved on after the incident with Redhood. He'd left early that morning leaving a note saying, 'See you soon Sparky -RH'. You didn't care to think of what the note could mean. So you burried the strange sense of foreboding that clawed in your mind at the note. Maybe the Gotham paranoia had gotten to you?

Either way, things in the next few days were normal...as normal as Gotham could be. The bat clan had put most of the heavy rollers back in Arkham at a record speed. No one knew if it was just the rogues being sloppy, or the bats were feeling a tad extra feral. You remembered when you first learned about Batman and his underlings; the idea of the police having feral furry themed vigilantes was funny. You'd thought your new neighbor was joking. But no, it was true, and after your personal run-ins with Robin and Redhood, you could confidently claim the group was feral and would punch God..any God really... given the chance. Which was what Gotham needed to be blunt.

It was nice though that you got out of the heart of Gotham sometimes. So you'd taken a day off to go to Bludhaven. It wasn't better than Gotham, but it was a change of place. The fact that a comic store was having a closing door sale was totally *not* the reason. It was.. but you were hoping to get something cool for cheap! Nerd stuff was expensive, and as a nerd, you knew that well.

The quest for a trinket wasn't supposed to end with you being brought into the local police station for questioning. You weren't part of a crime no, but you were a witness, *the* witness. A mugging gone wrong. Honestly the details were fuzzy, yet at the same time, key parts you couldn't forget. The feeling of the woman's heart fading as you held pressure on the stab wound. The wheeze in her voice as she struggled to breathe and tell you her final words. The way your body trembled as the paramedics arrived and carted her away to a hospital. The sensation of blood on your hands and skin, and the smell...

"You okay?" The police officer's voice pulled you from the spiral of your thoughts.

"I'm sorry what?" You were in a haze, shock most likely.

"I asked if you would be okay answering a few more questions. Detective Grayson just got here and wants to ask a few."

"Oh sure yeah..." the voice, no your voice spoke, but it didn't feel like you.

Dick Grayson walked into the room the officers had put you in. You weren't in trouble. A nearby camera had seen it all go down, but you were a vital witness, one who was clearly not well after what you saw. Dick didn't blame you for your state either. He...he should have been there. When Bruce had called telling him you were in Bludhaven, he was ecstatic to think he could meet you. He'd been planning a nice little meet cute styled thing to bridge a gap from a stranger to you to being besties. He was your eldest brother, the one you'd be able to rely on most. You'd love everyone in the family but you'd come to him first for everything. He could so easily picture it. The two of you staying up late, watching films and you opening up to him and feeling safe in his company. The inside jokes you'd have together, you'd both be thicker than thieves.

So seeing you as you were now was a reminder of just how fragile you were. You were in shock a really bad case of it too. Your eyes were distant as you struggled to answer the basic questions. You were shaking. You still had the victim's blood on your shirt too. He should have been there. Any of them should have, but you were in *his* turf so it should have been him. He should have gotten there before you had to see it. You shouldn't have had to apply pressure to a wound like that.

Your voice was hollow, he'd seen videos of you. Hollow is never something he could have pictured you as. You had so much life to you. Yet here you were in this state because of *his* failures; as Nightwing, a detective, and a big brother. What if it had been you? You would have died on his watch in his turf. He couldn't handle that right now.

He got the answers he could from you, then easily guided you out. He told his fellow workers he was taking you home. No one questioned it, Dick was a good guy and not the type to let a traumatized witness go home alone.

You didn't question him as he ushered you to his car, or where he was taking you when you hadn't told him where you lived. He wasn't sure you could do that right now. He wasn't lying saying he was taking you home... it just wasn't the home you'd have expected if you were more here. The room in the manor wasn't perfect, but you'd be safe there.

He brought you inside, and the family members at home seethed at him. He couldn't blame them, this was his fault. Cass took you with help from Alfred to get you cleaned up and put you to bed. His heart broke seeing how you just went with everything. Like you were aware enough to function on a base level and orders, but mentally? You were gone. Pulled into yourself, protecting yourself from the trauma that he'd caused. He should have been there.

#yandere dc #platonic yandere #yandere x reader #platonic yandere batfam #batfam x reader

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circeyoru · 1 month

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Yandere Alastor react to soul owner reader it hurt [ again ] but this time it's a badly injury.

Let's just say the reader got sneak attack by some demon.

[ Who ever that demon is Alastor not going let that demon go in the most peaceful way ever ]

Nothing much I just want to see Alastor being really protected and in his true form.

After he's finished with that demon Alastor quickly helped the reader and being really really protected if anyone getting a bit just a little bit too close Alastor well standing at deadly also really clingy like cleaning more than usual.

[ I think the reader understand why but get a bit annoying but understand why ]

That's all I got like I said before stay healthy and strong don't forget to drink water too!

Go to MASTERLIST for the works. This ask is for {Unwanted Souls}.

I gotcha! I'm setting this as before Alastor gave you his soul. We don't have enough moments for those times. So this one will be a bit long~

Enjoy!

It was a simple shopping trip. One simple shopping trip. In and out. As simple as that. A 3-year-old would have gotten things done as easily. But nooooo. This is Hell, things are bound to be troublesome.

Like this stupid scene.

"Ugh..." You gripped onto your dominant arm, a big gush that covered your arm with blood oozing out of it. One of your eyes squeezed shut from the pain, and you sat in the debris of what remained on the shelves of canned food. Your legs had long given out from the knockout and impact. "What's your problem?"

"Maybe you should have given me everything, instead of being such a f**ker and act all cool and sh*t." The demon snarled, picking up a random beer bottle to aim another throw.

You closed your eyes shut; you just have to take it and let this stupid demon have his fun unless it was of a sexual nature, then you can heal yourself and get home to your comfortable anime and music. Your body tensed as you mentally prepared what's to come.

Only, it didn't. Instead, there was a loud static that rang.

Your good eye opened and widened a bit when you saw the scene in front of you.

"Dear, you were taking a while. I knew I should have come with you instead of standing guard." Alastor's radio-filtered voice growled threateningly while his antlers grew in size and length. His sclera turned black, his iris glowed red, and his form enlarged to tower over the market shelves.

"Your funeral.." You sighed as your book holster, picking out your book and turning to a page to rip it out and blow at it. A transparent jelly-like substance dome formed around you, a barrier. "Honest, I warned you."

The demon laughed, "You think this is intimidating? Sure, go ahead and kill me. Demons can't die unless with those flying f**ker's f**king weapons anyway!"

You rolled your eyes. At this point, this demon was being a complete idiot that death was too good of an end to give. "Yeah... A quick and painless death is not exactly his style." Your eyes wandered to the side, "Ask the souls in his broadcast later on."

"Broadcast?" The demon turned its head back to Alastor, fear and regret on its face. "What..."

You tried your best to ignore the demon's screams and Alastor's maniacal laughter. The nearby demons also tried but failed to leave the vicinity. But it was hard to ignore the occasional blood splatters that came in contact with your shield dome, every time red came into your peripheral vision, you unconsciously flinched. It has gotten to the point that there were limbs thrown all around the place. You shouldn't have glanced over to Alastor because you saw him devouring a demon whole in his giant form.

You turned away. Sure Hell was disturbing and you watch similar things, but this was so much different when experiencing in real life. Not to mention, Alastor was your roommate at the moment. At times like these that you wonder if he even needed you saving him from that time.

Silently, you took out your pages to weakly scribble on the page for a light form of healing. When you were done, there wasn't a wound on your body to prove your pain or the torn clothes. Still, you didn't move because you didn't want to be a moving target to the crazy psycho demon who was having his fun.

The last straw was made when the demon's mangled body was dragged into the shadows while claws tried to save its fate. "Hey! Help me! Please! I'm sorry! Mercy!"

Alastor grinned, enjoying and savouring the pleading demon that was showing the two of you such a pitiful display. The sick joy he felt when he brought the poor thing to your mercy. Oh, this has to be love. He can't imagine another being taking away attention that was rightfully his but you.

And that cold and indifferent in your eyes, that pretty face that only displayed the hint of annoyance and disgust to the demon. "Like I told you when you first stupidly approached me: You'll regret talking to me."

Alastor's head snapped to the side, the shadows dragged the demon into his cane. Screams of the demon echoed but then silence came. Another voice of screams to the endless broadcast of torture.

As quick as it started, it ended. Alastor shrank down, fixing up his outfit before his eyes wandered to where you were. He made quick strides to you and bowed in a manner that was so familiar to a certain character. "My Dear, everything's dealt with."

The barrier dropped after a few seconds when you accessed that he was speaking the truth. It was more in the way of knowing he wouldn't direct his bloodthirsty destruction onto you as well. Since you weren't very nice to him, "So it would appear."

Alastor's eyes narrowed while his smile grew, solely focused on your weakened self. "May I carry you back? I can't imagine letting myself watch you limp through the streets!"

You looked away with a scowl and a slight frown, you didn't want to admit it, but you were in no condition to walk back and your healing took a bit out of you. "Fine. Just this once."

Swiftly, without missing a beat, Alastor already had you in his arms like one would carry a princess or lady. "Wonderful! I'll treasure this moment!"

You made yourself comfortable, you knew Alastor would take the long way home, you played with your fingers while you listened to his heartbeat that was a bit fast. You peeked up at him, he was keeping a watchful eye on the demons around.

"Don't get used to this. You're leaving soon."

Alastor didn't say anything, but his laugh told you he saw it as one hell of a joke.

Later on when you look back on this moment, you'll be wondering if that was meant for him to hear, or yourself.

#Circe's Nighty Writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

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psychicdamaged · 2 years

Text

Quotes from EXU Calamity I'll Be Thinking About for the Rest of Time

"Of course I'm safe. You'd never let anything happen to me." / "I would never let anything happen to you."

"Dad. You know I won't look like this when you get home."

There are a lot of stories in Exandria of mortals who stumbled their way into Feywild and fell in love with an enchanting fairy that they met there. But there's one story of a fairy who stumbled into this world and fell in love.

And in that instant realizes you can hold all the knowledge in the world. But if it dies with you, it doesn't matter.

"I promised you I'd never forget." / "I promised you I wouldn't either."

You hear in your heart, "Darling, no."

Do I know? Do I feel it? That he's gone? / You do.

Laerryn's screams fill whatever secret hallway she's in.

"No, baby. I'll always have my eye on you." And I squeeze their hands.

"I don't know how deeply you have sacrificed to do what must be done, but I know this: There is no god that strides this world that I worship more than I worship your heart... I bear your name. I bear it on this stone. And one day, I will bring you home."

In the kiss, I'll cast Cure Wounds on you.

"It's all on you, smart girl."

And I'll just turn my back on the door and let it close. / No! No, you have to go.

"I'm sorry, my lady. I love you, but I love another more" / "My child, my heart breaks. But I would rather mine break and yours be kept whole."

"But our two cities are like a married couple. We may have our differences. But we are connected by love for eternity. We made a promise to each other, and it's one we must fulfill."

"...and remember the Architect Arcane, Laerryn, the most beautiful woman in the world."

"Yes, it's me. Just look at my eyes. Don't look at anything else. Just look at my eyes, please."

I've kept so many of my thoughts and dreams and wishes for him. I hand it to him. I set it on the ground because I don't expect him to actually take it from my hands. "This is for you. Everything you've ever wanted to know about me and your father, it's here."

"Dad, dad, wait. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." "You have nothing to be sorry about." / "I do." You see, you haven't even looked in his hands. He's holding a basket with a spell kite attached.

"I don't know why I didn't send it." / "I know why, and it's okay. It's okay. Elias, I love you from the moment I laid eyes on you. Everything that I wished for you to know about me, it's in this book. Take it with you. You'll always be five years old to me no matter how much you grow."

You know me. I would never have let my guard down like that. I took those blows.

As I go down, I make sure I don’t miss

"I know what you gave. You found a path beyond the stars. I do not know whence the gods came from, but I know that you found it in your heart. I promise you, Zerxus, I will find that place. I will find the secret of how these worlds were made, and I will come and find you and bring you home."

"Yes, brother. All will be well."

"You think we'll ever get there one day?" / "Of course we will. We're the Okiros."

When you think of the future and what people will say of this time, do you think anyone will talk about how beautiful your dream was? / No. But that's all right, because it was real for us. For those who survived, they will remember, and it will inspire them to dream of things far greater.

What are Patia's final thoughts? / Just that there are many more dreams to come.

"I've been able to become anyone I want my whole life, but I just want to be with you."

"And for whatever time we have left, I love you. I have always loved you, and I will always love you." / "I love you, too." I'll just kiss her.

"The Brass Ring endures. I want you to know you gave us a chance." / I don't think you hear anything back. Just, you feel relief.

The fire, as brightly as it may burn, does not burn so brightly as your love, which shines the brightest in your last moment, having given this world a chance. Ash, heat, rising faster than you can imagine from the earth. And on a 31, at the very top of that cloud, the last member of the Brass Ring gets to keep his promise to his family.

You fly for weeks over oceans choked by ash and soot. You don't get to give your kids the world that they deserve, but you get to give them the world that they can fight for with you.

In Exandria, I don't know that your story will long be known. I don't know who will remain to tell it. But it did happen and it did matter. And though Calamity is here, because of you, it will not be here forever.

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spamgyu · 4 months

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CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS // Wonwoo one shot

DESCRIPTION: She had known her answer months before, and the answer had stayed the same as she watched the man that promised her the whole world down on one knee. PAIRING: Wonwoo x Reader GENRE: short angst (what more do you guys expect from me)

"Will you marry me?"

She looked down at him, her heart heavy,

She knew this was coming; accidentally stumbling upon the little velvet box just months before in search for a top she could have sworn was in one of their shared cabinets. It was tucked in between one of his work shirts – he never was good at hiding anything.

She should have ended things the day she saw the emerald cut gem sitting perfectly in the holder.

She should have left.

But instead, she chose to dismiss it – pretending she didn't see a that damn ring and went about her day thinking her answer would have changed when the time came.

He had spent months making sure this day went right – planting seeds just weeks before to ensure her nails were painted in that perfect shade of nude, asking her best friend for assistance so that she could show up to their private rooftop dinner wearing a white dress.

But she knew.

She caught on to every single one of his subtle planning. Just as she had caught on to his mistakes just months before.

They had been together for five years after all.

She thought that by now, her anger and her fears would have subsided.

She thought her answer would be yes.

"No." She whispered.

The grin on his face fell, his hands dropping down to his sides – the sound of the ring falling on the floor with a soft clink echoing in their ears.

Standing up from his position, Wonwoo licked his lips. "What do you mean?"

He knew what she meant. He just chose not to believe it.

Not just yet.

She felt her heart bury itself deep in her stomach, taking a step away from him. "No." Her voice firm, despite the tears that began to well in her eyes. "I'm- I can't."

"Honey–" He pleaded, a tear escaping his eyes.

He knew why she chose to decline his offer. He knew and yet, he had still proceeded with his plans – thinking she had forgiven him for his mistake.

Time had passed and they went back to how they once were when that god forsaken night had taken place.

He could have sworn everything was fine.

"No." She shook her head. "Please don't make me repeat it."

"I– Honey, don't do this."

Tears were now streaming down her cheeks, recalling back to the night his best friend ratted him out through a text message – proving her gut right.

He had cheated on her.

With his ex-girlfriend.

She didn't want to believe it. She didn't think he would do the unthinkable; even when he seemed do be coming home later than usual, his usual scent blending with a hint of roses and vanilla, and text messages that were accidentally sent to her.

They were so in love, they had planned a future together. They were perfect.

Or so she thought.

"I thought I had gotten over it, I thought my answer would be yes." Her voice shook as the lump in her throat grew to a size of a golfball. "But when I look at you– whenever I see you, I see her. I hear her."

"Y/n." Wonwoo whispered through his tears.

"You said you were content. You said you were happy. Why did you seek out for someone else when I was right there?"

"It was a mistake."

"No, a mistake is forgetting to turn off the stove. A mistake is you accidentally spilling wine on our couch. But God– Wonwoo you were cheating on me for four months! Four fucking months."

Every relationship goes through a rough patch, that was given.

It was during a time when almost every day ended with a fight, not a single minor inconvenience going unseen.

But that was what it should have just been. A rough patch.

He shouldn't have strayed.

"I love you." He emphasized the last word, as if he was reassuring himself.

If he had really loved her, then why did he slip away?

Why did he think marrying her would fix their problems?

"I don't." She wiped the last of her tears. "I'm- I can't do this. I'm sorry."

Wonwoo watched as she turned her back away from him, grabbing her purse from the back of her chair – heading straight to the door.

He stood in the darkness of the rooftop – the only light illuminating his surroundings were the distant city lights and the hundred of candles surrounding their table.

His fears had come to life.

She was gone.

#lol uhh......... blame the anon that made me do this #laughs in evil #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo fic #wonwoo x oc #wonwoo x y/n #seventeen fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen wonwoo #jeon wonwoo #jeon wonwoo fanfic #wonwoo angst

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idyllic-affections · 1 year

Text

out of all of the clouds in the sky, you are my favorite.

summary. imagine muichiro being the former tsuguko of the cloud hashira, [name].

trigger & content warnings. none applicable.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. fluff. muichiro tokito & hashira mentor!reader. 0.8k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. muichiro the beloved <3333 hes my favorite ever fr, he deserves so much happiness.

he adores his mentor so so much!! admittedly, he does show it in odd ways, but he really appreciates them in ways words cannot adequately describe.

when muichiro's on solo missions, he sends them little letters detailing the shapes he saw in the clouds. sometimes he even sends them shiny or textured rocks because he thought they would like them! it becomes very cute once one learns to understand his love language. he also gives them origami figures every now and then.

^ additionally, before their solo missions, he gives them origami cranes as a sort of good luck charm.

they have a history of becoming livid when the fragile things get crumpled by demons during missions. how dare they? that was a gift from their tsuguko, you know? they know the little paper cranes are easily replaced, and yet... it just makes them so sad to see them crushed.

the gifts he gives them are, for the most part, either handmade or non-traditional (rocks, a pretty shaped leaf, etc). sometimes he'll see something like a hairpin that he thinks they'd like, and so he buys it for them. any and every gift he gives them is appreciated, because just knowing that he remembers them better than almost anyone else and even thinks about them voluntarily is so heart-warming <3

he still calls them '[name]-sama,' even after he himself becomes a hashira. it's an improvement from '[surname]-sama,' sure, but they still insist he doesn't need to call them any such honorific anymore.

"[Name]-sama... that cloud, what's it called again?"

"I'm not your mentor anymore, Mui-kun," they commented with a little smile, hand raking gently through his silky hair. "You don't have to refer to me like that. It's okay to just call me [Name]. We're equals now, you know."

"No," he muttered his opposition, "you'll always be [Name]-sama to me."

"I only trained you for a brief... hmm, two months, was it? I'm not sure, but the point is that I trained you for a very short time."

"Doesn't matter."

"Hehe, I see. ...That's a cumulus cloud, by the way."

sometimes the two will cloud gaze together and just end up napping peacefully. both of them are light sleepers as a result of their job, but light doesn't necessarily mean restless.

mui associates them with the clouds—cloud breathing is their breath style, after all—and has often wondered about them when he cloud-gazes alone. are they okay? is their mission going well? is an annoying junior bothering them? he'll gladly tell them off if [name]-sama is too nice to.

he misses them a whole lot when they aren't around.

the mist hashira respects and trusts his mentor very deeply. he totally goes to them for like... everything.

cooking together is a very common thing for the duo; they love teaching him how to cook and bake and he loves learning. it reminds him of something he can't quite remember; simpler times, perhaps? they think it's very sweet that he's so willing to learn as long as they're the one teaching him.

they tend to his (minor) wounds, send him off on missions with snacks, braid his hair nicely so it stays out of his face... it's like he's been given a second chance at having a family. not that he remembers his first one, but still.

he sticks close to their side more often than not because of this.

muichiro is a little posessive of their attention, especially if they're doting on other junior demon slayers that are closer to his age (e.g., tanjiro, zenitsu, and inosuke). he gets a little jealous but takes great pride in being introduced as their former tsuguko. he's just worried they'll forget about him is all.

"silly mui-kun," they had once teased when they realized what was going on, "i'd never forget you. you don't need to be jealous; you're my favorite junior. ♡"

the other hashira find the attached behavior very endearing—he clings to them constantly, following them around like a lost puppy. it's moments like those in which the others are reminded that he's only a child that had his youth stolen from him far too early, so he subconsciously clings to the one person that really makes him feel safe and loved as every child should feel.

he accepts every gift from [name] with grace and humility. every single thing they give him is kept in pristine condition, even if it's a silly little trinket they picked up on one of their missions because "it's the same color as the ends of your hair, mui-kun." ridiculous!! ...what? he doesn't have to take it if he doesn't want it? no, back off, he's keeping it forever.

he especially loves all those silly gifts. knowing that someone he loves thought of him while they were away makes him all fuzzy and warm inside <33

[name] would be so protective of him. they know how many tsugukos shinobu has lost. to experience that... the thought alone makes them tremble with fear.

they're terrified that one day they might feel that pain too.

no-one will take their student from them, not when he's so young and has his entire life ahead of him. they will not allow it, even if it should cost them theirs.

#aphelion's headcanons 🌸#: [ the cloud hashira! 🌸 ]#platonic muichiro x reader #platonic demon slayer x reader #demon slayer x reader #muichiro x reader #muichiro tokito x reader #tokito muichiro x reader #kny x reader #platonic kny x reader #kimetsu no yaiba x reader #demon slayer headcanons #kimetsu no yaiba headcanons #platonic x reader

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kanmom51 · 6 months

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JM's Production diary Documentary

And Live 23 October 2023

So, I don't know how to do this.

Write about JM's documentary separate from his live.

Write about the two without being all over the place.

Because not too much happened, and yet so much did.

So, where do I start? How do I get through this?

At this point I have so many ideas running through my head for posts, so much so that I'm not sure just yet how this post will work out, given that everything intertwines.

I still have JM's previous live to work on as well. Yeah, kind of overwhelmed at the moment.

I guess I will just get on with it, but I do think that more than likely there will be things I will either save for another post or two or three, or forget something (that I can guarantee) or just post on repeat, cause some things we just cannot get enough of.

Let's talk about the documentary a bit.

We got to see the process of JM creating his songs. How they would start with the idea, the narrative. Then the melody, instruments and the vocals and then the actual lyrics.

JM's musicality, his talent, his creativity all showcased.

We also got to see just how nice Pdogg is. How much he loves JM, how respectful he is to him, not to mention how talented he is himself. As a matter of fact, the whole team that worked with JM were super nice and talented and they just all seemed to be having a good time, even while working to the bone.

Oh, and how none of them actually knew English, lmao.

In the documentary we were shown how JM and Pdogg chose the quote from the movie to use in the song. Only that it wasn't the one they actually used in the song itself. And that is because, as JM revealed to us in the live, they picked it without knowing what the characters were talking about, picking a convo between the characters that sounded nice to them at the time, something that would suit the song. All while the two characters were actually talking about a visa, lol. And JM, well, he found that super funny (which truthfully, it really is), so he repeated it a couple of times.

We also saw RM in the documentary sitting down with them talking about writing lyrics. Only for JM to share with us that:

Which JM found to be very funny. I guess now it is, but back then... not sure he shared that same sentiment, lol.

He kept on laughing about him being an idea bank, lol. It's ok to acknowledge your genius, man!!!

Hobi and then Jin show up in the comments while JM is watching the documentary. And I was surprised at that point, given that I really did think JM wouldn't be doing this live, that it would have been pre-recorded. But it wasn't, and thank god for that, cause we all know what happened later on. Less than 1.30 minutes out of an almost 2 hour live, but gosh, what a 1.30 minutes they were, lol.

Anyways, Hobi shows up and JM goes all shy and even stops playing the documentary telling him to leave, that he won't continue playing until he does.

Guess who won that fight, lol. Hobi, of course. JM gives in and continues, once in a while saying they will go away at 9 pm (Jin came in to say that there is some kind of something military related, lol).

Letter

Yes, let's actually start with the name of the song.

Cause for some reason, although they all talk about the song using the word pyeonji (Letter), all while the translation is Dear.Army. Like what the actual fuck? Why would they do that?

Well, we kind of know, don't we?

Someone (cough Hybe cough) is working super hard to cement the song is for the fans.

Please tell me, if this was a song completely meant for the fans, why this incessant need of the company to sell this to us? Why change the name of it in the fucking documentary, while JM and the others are literally saying the word "letter" translating it to "Dear.Army"? There is only one answer I can think of here. And you know exactly what that answer is.

I'm not going to go back to all the reasoning as to why this is way more than a song for fans, I feel like we've discussed this ad nauseam. I will only say that NOTHING we saw in the documentary contradicts what we think about Letter.

You can see, throughout the process how emotionally tasking the song is for JM. And yes, a song for ARMY could be emotional, I mean both JM and JK have immense love for ARMY, and we've seen JK burst into tears talking to army or about army, JM getting very emotional himself. But this, this was more. There are moments there when you can see the anxiety just bursting out of JM.

This song was just MORE.

Especially when you take everything you see in the documentary, JM's state of mind, his words, his behaviour, and add it all up with the lyrics, even more so the missing lyrics. Would be hard to explain how "dongsaeng" fits into "this is a song for army"... Add it to the hidden track. But not only it being a hidden track, it's a hidden track only on the physical CD. Not the digital CD. So, no streaming. A track for Army, for his fans, that not all of his fans get to hear freely? A track for Army that, hmm... maybe wasn't supposed to even be in the album?

We got more than 2 seconds of JK. That's worth a mention too, no?

When I saw this I was: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Cause, no way under the sun, yes, pun intended, that this was about ARMY.

Army was NEVER REFERENCED AS THE SUN BY ANY OF THEM.

NEVER.

You know who was?

The level of emotion we see from the two of them throughout the process... this was so personal.

I rewatched it again today before writing these lines. It's JK's body language, it's JM's body language, it's JM going in to cup JK's face when telling him he wrote a fan song, and JK's reaction.

Dare I remind you that "Still with you" was classified by JK as a "fan song". Dare I remind you what our sentiments about that song are? Yeah, a fans song.

And I will remind you, not that you need the reminder, who happened to state for all of us to see that he was JM's fan. Happening to do so during JM's promotions of Face and before JM's Face Live, which I do not think was a coincidence AT ALL.

They are just precious. What else can I say?

There is this as well.

Also, I don't think I'm the only one seeing this. JK at the end going in for a hug, but JM, reaches out for a hand shake and a bow.

He bows.

Twice.

Now, the not going in for a hug could be one of two with JM. The first could be that it was too emotionally charged and that hug, in front of the cameras, will just be too hard. Too hard not to show the emotions. Too hard to break off.

Or, the second could be that by doing this, bowing the way he did do JK, he was showing us, the spectators, just how profoundly thankful he was for JK, and for his participating in the song.

Now that I think of it there could be a third reason. Which would be the combination of the two.

You know what I also noticed there?

That JK didn't bow back.

So, that's more or less what happened with them in the documentary. Not too much talking, when there is it's subdued, understandably so, given this is all done in front of the cameras. But, there is an undertone of emotions there.

Oh, and did I mention we see JM wearing the very important, at the time, necklace throughout the documentary? On that day of recording as well.

And happy little coincidence them wearing the black and white bucket hats? Lol.

Ok then. By now we all know that JK joined the live. And he does it exactly when they started letter. Quelle surprise. Quelle coincidence. Or was it?

Observations:

JK is too skinny. JM thought so too all while grabbing his tiddy.

JK is really tired. Said he was practicing. Eyes red. He needs to eat and sleep.

JM was genuinely surprised by JK's appearance. Th way he lights up, he was surprised and giddy and excited, his whole body movement, practically dancing in his seat with glee.

JK walks in holding his right hand in place. At first I thought maybe it was injured or hurt or unable to move, a cramp maybe, like the ones JM suffers from at times. But later on it looked like there was nothing wrong with his arm. So was that his way of holding himself back? Restraining himself? Containing himself?

JM signals for JK to talk into his mic,

Pulls the mic up forward away from his chest, and as JK comes closer he lets it go and leans back for JK to move in.

And JK, well why? The mic is right there. Why does he lean in lower? To say hello to Army? Talking to JM's what? Not the mic, that's for sure...

There did not seem to be a chair there next to JM when the live started, and when JK was leaving JM had him take a chair with him. So, as JK came into frame were the staff assuming he's going to be joining JM for the rest of the live? Also making sure to hand him a mic?

And then, JM asks JK "why did you lose so much weight?", all while reaching out his arm, and JK moves forward towards him, and you can see JK's eyes moving down to JM's arm all while JM just goes for JK's chest. Just going straight for the grab.

And JK, he loses it for just a second.

Sniff, gulp, giggle...

And we are back.

JK laughingly tells us he just practiced. But kind of still dumbfounded I guess.

And then I think JM came to as well (you know, awakening from the aftershock of his own actions, lol) and tells JK "time to go", or more so "get the fuck out of here as fast as you can and take that chair with you while you're at it, cause if you don't leave now I'm going to jump your bones right here right now".

Ok, so maybe he didn't say those words exactly, but that was the sentiment, lol.

JM apologises. Thrice.

For sending JK on his way.

And we get the hug. One of those Jikook in front of the camera hugs.

And again JM rushes JK to leave, smacking his butt while he's at it.

JK grabs the chair, tells JM to enjoy watching with Army and tells us he loves us on the way out. And JM sitting there watching JK, giggling, smile plastered on his face, waving by. But that isn't the end of it.

Because as JK leaves JM follows him with his gaze, until he waves him goodbye and only then gets back to the documentary.

And this is when we lost JM for a few minutes there during that part of the documentary, and even more so when JK was on screen singing or during their interactions.

And we also got this reaction to their hug.

What was going through your mind at that moment JM?

After JK leaves there is not too much left until the end of the documentary. And then we have a JM giggles attack. And the man is telling us he's laughing about balloon placements, but seriously, do we really think that's it?

And yes, JM was as always his own shy self while going it alone, and yes, he was finding it hard where to go with the live once the video was over, but this was just more than just plain embarrassment or shyness.

Could there have been someone there waiting for him? Someone that has that kind of effect on JM perhaps?

I don't think JK was there the whole time. He really did leave when JM was waving him goodbye (if he hadn't have left JM wouldn't have been able to get back to the documentary the way he did). But possibly, very possibly, lover boy went to shower and came back in time for JM's ending.

JM tells us during that giggle attack that he will post a pic of the funny balloons only to later post a pic of 19 balloons, the ones in the front shaped like an S. And why do I feel like that was JK's doing? The S shaped balloons...

Clearly the balloons were not placed that way at first.

Someone did this. Question is which one of them. The S, the 19, not a coincidence.

I guess that's it for this post.

Like I mentioned, I know I probably forgot stuff, and there will probably several posts to follow.

But I just needed to get this one out there for you guys. And I guess we'll add on as we go (especially seeing that I've reached my image limit here, as usual).

To sum this up.

WOW!!!

#Jimin #JM #JM's Production diary #JM's documentary #Jikook #kookmin #Minkook #Jungkook #JK #Jikook Letter

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heyidkyay · 1 month

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Eighteen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: Hey!! Finally here with another part! This one took a while to write but it's here now. Hoping you enjoy it:)

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

He’d been pacing on the phone for quite a while now.

Back and forth up the long and narrow pavement sat outside of the small cafe we’d chosen just off the highstreet. His feet skimmed the curb every few steps, I noted, his brow furrowed and lips pursed too whenever he rattled something back to whoever it was on the other end.

“Eggy, mama?”

I blinked at the sudden voice, tearing my eyes away from the window and Matty, and back over to where my food-happy toddler sat in the adjoining highchair.

With a fond smile, I shook my head at his proffered bit of hard boiled egg.

See, Matty had fancied a couple of soldiers when we’d first walked in, forgetting all about his earlier promises of bacon, and Teddy had unsurprisingly followed his lead. Looking down at his plate now, I was pleasantly pleased to find that he’d eaten the majority of it.

“I’m okay, Teds. Thank you though.” I told him, wiping a few breadcrumbs from his cheek with a napkin before tickling the underneath of his chin, “You’re such a sweet boy, you know?”

He bared his teeth at me in a giant grin, “Very much, ta.”

Chuckling lightly at his silly reply, I shook my head once more, “Back at it with the ta, are we?”

Teddy replied with only a stern nod and a wrinkle of his mouth, then dug back into his breakfast again, content to just watch Matty and the few cars that passed by the window.

It was a strange concept for me to wrap my head around- the whole Teddy and Matty thing, I mean.

Teddy had always been an affectionate kid, a bit shy with newcomers and strangers at times, but his heart was huge and he had a lot of love to go around. Still, with that being said, the dynamic he’d struck up with the curly headed singer was unlike anything I’d ever witnessed from him before.

With Adi, Teddy was always perfectly content to find new extremes and test them. Pushing boundaries and buttons simply because Ads was the biggest pushover known to man- at least when it came to him.

Each moment Adi spent with Teddy she always ended up looking spent by the time she was about to head home, almost like he’d gone and dragged her through a circus tent full of performers and animals alike.

Then there was Finn. Finn had been a constant presence in Teddy’s life since the day he was born, he was my best friend and was always there to lend a helping hand whenever I needed it. The two of them were close in their own way, Teds felt comfortable with Finn, he didn’t question his authority or throw a fit when the man put his foot down, but whenever I was around the pair of them together Teddy made it quite clear that Finn was the third wheel amongst the lot of us.

Which was funny in its own way, I supposed, because I knew how Teddy looked at me. I was his mum, sure, but I was also his dad, too. Merely in the sense that Teds had never looked to anyone else to fill that role for him, I was what he had been given and I was all that he needed.

Yes, there had been the odd question or two when Teddy had finally started to understand films and tv shows, and again when he had started nursery school and seen all of the other kids with their mums and dads. But he had taken my honest answers on the chin and shrugged off any other prompts I’d had for him afterwards, as though he was perfectly untroubled by it all and the fact that he only had a single parent.

Then again, a few of the kids in his class faced similar problems.

Oliviette had only ever really known her dad, since her mum had sadly passed when she’d been too little to remember. Tury’s father worked in the military, or something of the sort, and was divorced from their other father. He went away for long stretches at a time and had only ever come to pick them up once in all the time that we’d been in attendance.

Zara was another young mum like me, we’d bonded over that fact a couple weeks into the school year when a few of the other parents had wondered over the whereabouts of our partners and then turned up their noses at us when they’d received their answer.

Which led me straight back on over to my anxieties about Teddy, and how he might come to soon view Matty. As well as the question on whether Matty could even handle being seen in that sort of light, or if he’d run swiftly for the hills with his tail tucked between his legs.

These worries had started up quite quickly after seeing those articles we’d faced earlier in the week, which had only added fuel to the fire for me. Some of the headlines still haunted me and my waking thoughts, in truth. They flashed through my mind on a giant billboard sort of screen, visible for all to see.

JUNKIE ROCKSTAR TURNED FAMILY MAN!

A NEW LINE DRAWN FOR HEALY?

THE 1975 SINGER AND HIS HIDDEN FAMILY..

It was both a startling and terrifying experience to suddenly start considering the opinions and views of the entire world around you, which now appeared to be watching us under a microscope, reading into each and every move not just Matty and I made, but Teddy now too.

It was ultimately why I had run and hidden when it had all come out, choosing to avoid the whole situation at hand rather than face it head on and be met with a plethora of questions I hadn’t yet thought about.

But then Matty just had to have gone and sent me that fucking demo.

I’d been all but putty in his hands after that really.

And the very thought of not just the previous night, but this morning too, had me flushing in the middle of the cafe Matty had taken us out to. ‘My treat,’ He’d said, and it had all felt so natural. Him being in my bed, in my shower, in my house, around my kid.

I heaved a heavy sigh before picking up my mug of tea, wrinkling my nose in distaste when I found it had gone cold. It made me wonder just how long I had been lost in thought.

That question was answered for me though when Matty came strolling back over, the crease in his brow there and then gone when he took to his seat once more and caught eyes with Teddy. He flashed the boy a bright smile, “Enjoyin’ that, monster?”

Grimly, Teddy opened his mouth up wide to show Matty just how much he had enjoyed his breakfast and laughed when Matty mimicked the expression, the man leaning in close enough that Teddy could only laugh giddily.

“Made a big enough mess of it.” I commented with a soft smile.

Even with all my fretting I still couldn’t get over the way Matty treated my son and how Teddy responded to him in turn. It was incredibly surreal.

When I’d first gotten pregnant and decided to go it alone all those years ago, I thought that had been it for me. That there was no way any person, let alone anyone in Matty’s position, would just come along and be able to deal with the fact that I had a child. This whole other being that would always fall above everything else.

But here that somebody was.

Sat with my toddler, looking at him almost the exact same way I did. With such adoration and emotion.

The sight made my heart both lurch and crumble all at once.

I pulled myself out of my head once more with that thought and tuned back in to find our waitress making her way over again. She was a sturdy looking woman, not much older than my mum if I had to guess, and had taken more than liking to the messy toddler she’d been shafted with early this morning, “Anything else I can get for you, lovelies?”

I opened my mouth to tell her that we were fine, seeing as though Teddy was all but finished, just chewing on a few pieces of buttered bread, and my sandwich was merely straggling bits of crust now.

“Would be great if you could get us another round of drinks to go?” Matty piped up before I could answer her, circling a finger between the two of us. “Cheers.”

The waitress dipped her head at him and flashed a warm smile my way, “One tea and a strong flat white coming your way then.”

I was surprised that she’d recalled our order so easily, since I’d noted earlier that there were a few other patrons she’d been serving, and so I thanked her gratefully with another smile before she walked away, arms laden with a few of our used plates.

“You didn’t have to,” I said to Matty shortly after, then dipped my chin down towards my remaining cup, “But thank you anyway, this had gone cold.”

Matty rolled his eyes, a gesture he was rather prone to using whenever he thought I was being unnecessary, but then shuffled over to settle more comfortably in the seat opposite me, leaving his phone to rest on the table between us.

“Sorry I was long, but after management, Jamie rang.” He confessed to me, and that scowl of his appeared for a split second or two before disappearing completely when he glanced back over at Teds, who was now playing with his food rather than eating it.

It was almost automatic the way Matty moved to steal the backpack hanging off the arm of the chair perched beside him, pulling out a few of the baby wipes I usually kept there before beginning to clean up Teddy’s face and hands.

I could only stare on in utter bewilderment, watching it all play out even whilst Matty continued to speak to me, clearly none the wiser to the way my brain had just short circuited at his actions.

“Anyway, they’re on it- or so they’ve said. But I know this whole thing is just a charade to them, yeah? Management, I mean. Not J. ‘Cause he’s already said that he’s trying to keep them from going too extreme with the whole clean up, claiming that they appeared to be warming up to the idea of me becomin’ this ‘changed man’ or some shite.” Matty scoffed with a roll of his eyes at the very thought, then pulled a face for Teddy who admonished him for his use of a ‘bad word’, and cleared away some of the mess that had been created whilst he’d been gone.

I swallowed thickly at the sight, thankful for the moment of reverie I was gifted when our waitress shuffled back on over, two to-go cups in hand as well as the bill.

“Ah, are we all clean then?” She cooed down at Teddy, moving to grab the last of what remained at our table to take back to the kitchen with her.

Her expression brightened when Teddy not only shot her a mischievous grin, but also wiggled his fingers up to show her just how clean they were. Matty snorted.

The woman peered between the two of us afterwards, plates tucked into the crook of her elbow whilst both of our previous mugs sat cradled in the other. “You’re a lucky pair, he’s absolutely golden.”

My pulse spiked at her words, or rather what she’d interpreted our little excursion as, but before I could think to offer an explanation, or anything rather, she was already shuffling away again. Teddy batting a hand at her back in goodbye.

My gaze slowly drifted away from her retreating form and over to where Matty was now slouched, but he didn’t seem to have noticed her words, or perhaps he just didn’t care. Still, I blinked slowly at him, “Did you hear that? Did you hear what she just said?”

He pulled his eyes away from a now babbling Teddy and shrugged slowly, “Yeah?”

Yeah??

Sorry, come again?

Had I actually heard him right?

I almost choked on the force of my next inhale. “That’s it? Just- yeah?”

Matty stared back at me, expression almost blank- calculating, in truth. As though he was trying to determine which of his next words had the ability to set me off even further. I sort of hated that.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked me slowly, elbows moving up onto the table’s top and pressing against it to lean in closer to me.

His eyes never left my own, and it was then that I noticed the sturdy wall behind them that I thought had crumbled between us so long ago. He was wary now, building it back up again in hopes that I wouldn’t wound him- anymore than you already had, my mind unhelpfully supplied.

I licked at my lower lip, mostly in thought but also because my throat had suddenly gone dry at the very reminder.

It had been necessary, I told myself. Space and time, that was all that we had needed, and look at us now!

Look at us…

“I just,” I murmured, swallowing thickly whilst still staring into those hardened eyes which remained locked on mine, “It doesn’t bother you at all?”

That steely look softened when he snorted and the bricks in that wall of his began to chisel away at themselves once more.

Matty slumped and I watched on as his gaze flickered back over to my son, who was now much more interested in the straps of his highchair rather than either of us.

“Why would it?”

Matty’s words were as gentle as his tone and his smile was just as sweet, and all I could think about in that moment was the abating panic I felt and the sudden need I had for him.

Shouldn’t it? I wanted to press, it would bother a hundred other men. What makes you so different?

He glanced back at me then with a languid turn of his head, “Guess it just makes me feel worth something, even if it’s a mistake on her part.”

Matty must’ve seen the way my face fell so quickly at his words because he chuckled lowly and then gifted me a small but pivotal smile. He reached out to toy with the hand I’d been resting on the table, fingertips trailing over whitened knuckles.

“I’m just being honest, alright? He’s a good kid, anyone can see that. I mean she did, din’t she? And then, there’s you, Squeaks.” He dragged that last bit out, flipping my hand over so that he could trace the lines of my palm with the tips of his fingers. “You’re something else.”

I frowned slightly at his words, a little puzzled. Matty only laughed at the face I must’ve made before he finally took my hand wholly in his, thumb brushing over my ever rising pulse.

“If she reckons I could land someone like you long enough to have one of these little ones running round, well… Just makes me picture it, 'is all.”

I could feel the contents of my stomach whirl at his given answer and tightened my hold on Matty’s hand by a fraction, needing the certainty that he was in fact real. That what he had said was very much real too.

“Squeaks?” Matty pressed after a short while. I figured I must've been quiet too long for him to prompt an actual reaction from me. Either that, or he’d gotten bored of my gaping gob far too quickly.

I attempted to swallow around the hardened lump in my throat, but it was difficult. “Yeah, just-” I struggled to fathom the mere idea that he had thought about me in any scenario at all beyond the past six months we had shared. “You’ve actually thought about that?”

Matty rolled his eyes at me, and although his smile was warm, it held a fragment of uncertainty to it that told me all I needed to know.

“I’m getting old, darlin’. Normal to think about that kind of shit, ain’t it?”

That was a very Matty thing to say and my rapid pulse slowed a tad because of it, giving my poor pounding heart a break.

“Yeah, but with me, Matty.” I felt the need to stress, because it was only yesterday that everything had come to a head between us. It made me question how long he’d been holding off on me- had he been waiting, is that what this was? Had he been trying to get over whatever he felt for me? If so, what had changed his mind, or forced his hand?

He simply chuckled and shrugged, like it was no big deal.

“Yeah with you, Mouse.” Matty confirmed, squeezing my hand once more before letting go completely and swiftly getting up out of his seat to unclip Teddy from his highchair. “Wanna go pay with me then, little man?” He asked Teds and it was only when Teddy had been swept up into Matty’s awaiting arms and Matty had looked over at me to tell me he was going up to the till that I realised he had used my kid to escape the current conversation at hand.

I shook my head in disbelief and tried to steel myself into something a little more put together once he had left, instead of choosing the imminent breakdown my mind was rooting for. I couldn’t lose my shit with all these people around to bear witness. Because I could do that later, couldn’t I? In the comfort of my own home. Right now I just needed to…

Fuck, I could not actually believe that Matty had pictured a future with me. A. fucking. future.

One that was ours.

The same stupid man that had told me time and time again that he would get headaches simply from thinking of the next few days to come, that he hadn't seen much of a life for himself the older he’d gotten. Even with all the money and the fame.

My stomach was swarming again, just like it had done when I’d heard the demo for the first time.

I wondered, briefly, whether those butterflies of mine were instead moths merely looking for any source of warmth they could find, and if Matty could really be exactly that. My little bit of warmth.

“You coming then, Squeaks?”

I glanced up again to find Matty now grinning down at me, Teddy still bouncing happily on his hip and the spiderman backpack thrown halfheartedly over his right shoulder.

I gaped for a split second at the picture they painted and then nodded, smiling up at this maddening man with all the warmth I could possibly muster. Hoping that somehow, someday, that little dream of his came true.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

–

It had probably been one of the most content mornings Matty had had in a long time.

He knew that for a fact, but still felt stunted by it all the same.

It had been years since he’d woken up without the immediate dread, or the itching need for a fix that even now sometimes still jilted him awake. And the night previous? Well, he’d gone to bed thinking of tomorrow, hadn't he?

Stupidly, he wondered what his mum might make of that. If she’d be surprised, wary even. Or maybe just happy for him.

He’d been gifted some precious time and some precious people and he did not want to waste a single second of it. Although that could have hardly been avoided, what with the way management were constantly up his arse, hounding him incessantly about everything under the fucking sun.

The three of them had set off for food not long after he’d had a lapful of sleepy mouse first thing, they’d danced around one another whilst getting dressed, Matty watching as she brushed her hair and then catching her eye when he had attempted to wrangle an overenthusiastic toddler into his coat and boots.

Matty had walked hand in hand with Teddy all the way to his car, letting the kid jump his way down the few short steps from the house and up into the car seat he’d borrowed from Adam a week or so after Christmas. Mouse had snorted at his shitty parking job, then granted them a full blown crackle when she’d torn a parking ticket from his front window screen only to have found a real unfortunate note from an unhappy neighbour beneath it.

Apparently Matty had to work on his spontaneity if he didn’t want to end up falling out with the bloke who lived two doors down from her. Even as he winced, he reckoned the guy was still a fucking nobhead.

He’d driven down a couple of backroads, letting the radio play and rolling his eyes fondly whenever Squeaks deigned it necessary to comment on his driving- “It needs work, Matty. I mean, you almost took out three of those bollards!” “Ah, a bus! Bus, Matty! Bus!” “Are you actually aiming to kill us, or do you just reckon you're the next 007?”

Matty had managed to get them all there in one piece, like he knew he would, and led the two of them all the way to this odd-spot cafe he’d found a couple months prior.

It was a simple dive, tucked quietly away amongst the noise of London, and was almost always chock-full of white haired pensioners or folk who didn’t much care to note who he was.

They’d sat down, Matty taking his first chance to ask for one of them highchairs he typically saw little kids sat in at restaurants, and then they’d ordered; Mouse getting what she deemed was her morning usual, whilst Teddy had mimicked his own request.

It had been cute, Matty had to admit. Especially when Squeaks had shot her son a dubious look, stating that he hadn’t tried it before, what with her being too scared she’d plague him with salmonella or something of the sort from how shoddy her attention was with the passing of time. Matty promised to teach her.

The little tyke seemed to have enjoyed it though, all but ravishing the yolks from their casing and munching on the sliced bread til it had either disappeared or simply gone soggy.

The only interruption they had faced was the unexpected call from his management team, and then Jamie’s which had followed not a minute after.

It had been a right nightmare.

In fact, the whole of last week had been a total disaster. His team had been on his case the minute those articles had all been released, Twitter threads spiralling out of control and fans losing their minds over whether or not it was all fake or not.

And Matty, Matty had tried and failed not to let it get the best of him, but with that and the loss of Squeaks and Teddy, who had retreated almost entirely from his life. It had left him with a wound big enough for him to question everything.

Matty shook his head then, a shit attempt at ridding himself free from his neverending train of thought, and looked up with a soft smile when Mouse wandered back into the living room and handed him a brew.

He’d never been overly gone on tea, to be honest- coffee worked wonders and with hours like his, it was now a necessity. But hers? He could never say no to, which was rapidly becoming a habit now. So much so, in fact, that he’d noticed himself wanting one at the oddest times of the day; down at the studio, in a meeting, the middle of the night…

Yeah that last one had been fucking strange. Half three in the morning and he’d been up puttering around his kitchen unable to sleep once the idea had taken root in his head and settled. Hadn’t been half as good as this though, Matty sighed thoughtfully as he sipped away.

“So…”

His eyes immediately flickered back up to meet her, sitting all pretty on the end of the couch, an arms width away. “So.” Matty mimicked, raising his eyebrows then smirking at the way she shuffled in her seat and tried to hide her growing smile.

“We should talk.”

That smirk of his slipped right off.

He coughed slightly to clear his throat, but mostly to buy himself some more time, and then decided to get it on over with, pushing his brew onto the coffee table so that he could better face her. “Right, okay.”

She was chewing on her lip, a habit she seemed to have had ever since he’d first known her, but one which continued to drive him half mad. Even more so now that he knew what it fucking felt like to have her under him.

His tongue swiped his bottom lip instinctively at the reminder of it.

“You said it too,” Mouse reminded him, sounding almost accusatory.

He had, but even so, it was still fucking awkward to just talk about shit. Couldn’t they skip to the good bit? Where he slowly took her apart piece by piece on the sofa she’d have to pass by day in and day out. A constant reminder of him even when he wasn't there.

“Matty.”

Matty blinked out of his daze at the call of his name and his eyes shot upwards to find her looking back at him with a furrowed brow.

“We don’t have to talk right this second, but I’d prefer if we did.” She told him with a slight shrug, eyes flickering away from him and across the room almost nervously. “‘Cause, at least I’d know where we stand, you know?”

Pursing his lips slightly, Matty tilted his head at her, “What’s that meant to mean?”

She shrugged again, sheepish almost, which wasn’t much like her. “Just, you’ve grown on me, Matty. I wouldn’t want to fuck up our.. friendship over something like this.”

Matty knew what she was getting at there and it did hurt a little bit to think that she reckoned he’d fuck up what they’d built, what she’d given him, for a quick shag or whatever it was she’d filled her head with.

But still, he gave her an impish grin once he’d shuffled his way a little closer, throwing an arm over the back of the settee. “Awh you finally admitting that we’re friends, Squeaks?” He teased and laughed when her foot flew out to toe his side.

“Bit more than that since yesterday.” Mouse murmured, giving him a snide smile before she released a heavy breath and settled her own mug down alongside his own on the tabletop. “But yes, we’re fucking friends, Matthew.”

Matty’s nose wrinkled but he didn’t comment on the use of his full name, instead stretching his fingers out to toy with the leg she had pressed against the back of the sofa. He lifted his eyes to watch her, saw how her own gaze rested on his hand and her knee.

“Good. Only took you, what? Six months.” He ragged but the smile he wore was pleased, dopey even. Stupid enough that he knew if one of his mates turned up and caught sight of it they’d probably rinse him to bits, claim he looked a right tit. But Matty couldn’t bring himself to care. Not then.

She rolled her eyes, but he noted how she was smiling now too.

“I’ve always thought you were fit, you know?”

A laugh escaped her then, brash and unforgiving. Matty would’ve been wounded had he not known her as well as he did. So instead he simply chose to flick her knee in harmless rebuke. “Don’t be a twat. You said you wanted to talk and I am. You’re fucking fit, Squeaks. Don’t let nobody tell you otherwise.”

She merely shook her head at him, the smallest smile limning that pretty mouth of hers.

“I’m being serious.” Matty tapped her knee twice with his fingertip, wanting her attention, “I wouldn’t lie to you, you know that.”

He recalled one of their earlier conversations and hoped that she somehow remembered, ‘I was raised by liars, can't stand lies.’

She licked at the corner of her mouth, eyes trained on him as though she was searching for something in his expression, but ultimately nodded when she didn’t appear to find it.

“Anyway,” Matty smirked, leaning his head against his shoulder and continuing to hold her eyes, “Yeah, so I walked in expecting the usual. Some yappy older bird, who reckoned she was above me and all my fucking shit. Or maybe even someone who’d break and fall back on what they’d said once they were stood facing me. But nah, just you.”

“Just me.” She chuckled in that easy lilt of hers that he’d always found so soothing. In truth, he could actually recall asking her question after question in those first few weeks after they’d met just wanting to hear her talk.

Matty dragged out a hum, “You don’t even know. As soon as you walked out I was on you like a hawk, I swear. Just watching as you walked over, could hardly take my eyes off your legs.”

She snorted, “My legs?”

With a grin, Matty caught her ankle with his free hand and dragged her leg into his lap. “Fucking killer.” He told her honestly, letting himself have this moment to trail his fingertips up and over her thigh. “Then you looked at me with those eyes,” Matty’s own shot up to find them once more and shook his head slightly, “Made me dizzy having your full focus. Never seen a pair so intense, like they’d been struck by lighting or something.”

She rolled those pretty eyes of hers then and Matty pinched her leg, “I’m being serious, Squeaks. One of my favourite things about you.”

Thankfully she glanced back over at him then, her cheeks a tad bit pink but her smile bright. “I like yours too, you sap.” Matty's expression must’ve given way to how he felt about that because she was all too quick to add, “Don’t get cocky about it.”

He chuckled, liking the fact she knew him too well, and finally let his hand rest on her upper leg, though his thumb continued to rub gentle circles into the curve just above her knee. “I obviously felt something, Squeaks. Why the fuck else would I show up outside your studio only days later?”

“‘Cause you’re a stalker?” She teased but had relaxed further into the settee, stretching her other leg out to join the one he held.

Matty ran his fingers up the underside of her foot in retaliation to that comment, “Brave.”

She snickered, “Thought you were just ‘in the area’?”

Matty bit back a grin at her use of his earlier words, remembering how he’d been brimming with nerves whilst waiting outside for someone to show.

“I was,” He sniffed, and was pleased when she simply laughed. “But the truth? I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about you.”

Her cheeks hollowed themselves out as she tried to dampen the growing grin that threatened to overwhelm her face. It broke his heart a bit to know she struggled believing him, that no one else had ever gone far enough to drill the fact that she was fucking beautiful into that thick head of hers, but Matty was nothing if not stubborn and he’d strive to always tell her just how gorgeous he thought she was.

“What was it with that girl then?” She mentioned and Matty immediately frowned, confused as to what she was even going on about. “Your ex.”

Matty felt himself blink, mind reeling as he tried to remember what the hell she was referencing, but then it hit him. “Oh, ohh!” Then he chuckled, unable to help it really, and couldn’t seem to prevent the way it then dissolved into a slightly uncontrollable fit of laughter.

She levelled him with a hearty scowl and went to remove her legs from his lap, obviously none too pleased about being laughed at, but Matty stopped her just before she could.

“No, no, Squeaks. Babe, you’ve got it all wrong.” He attempted to console even with his still amused smile, leaning in closer now, his hands settled on her calves. “That was just for the press! Management team reckoned it would be good to rebuild my image, and I wasn't long out of rehab. She and I always looked good together but fought like fucking cat and-”

He stopped short and she snorted, “Mouse?”

Matty squinted his eyes mockingly, “Yes, dickhead. But no, it was all fake. Was only with her fifteen minutes before she swanned off to a photoshoot or something. Harldy even fucking remember it.” He paused then, “Hang on, is that- Is that why you went all quiet on me back then? That time before I ran into you at that bar?”

The way she evaded his gaze told him all he needed to know and then he was laughing again.

“Shut up, you absolute prick.” She huffed after a minute or so, having grown fed up with being his main source of amusement, and swatted him with her foot in hopes it would get him to follow the order.

God, he’d never seen her look so embarrassed.

“It’s not funny. You never mentioned it either, so what was I supposed to think!”

“Uh, not that?” He suggested, still chuckling away but actively trying to get it under control, sort of. “I’m sorry!” He laughed again when she kicked him, “Honest! But the thought didn’t even cross my mind. And we were hardly even mates then!”

She looked chastised, “We were mates!”

He levelled her with a look.

She held out for a bit before she finally huffed, “Fine, it was rocky but even so.”

Matty snorted, “No, you know what? I sort of like this side of you.” He teased, wrapping his hands around both her ankles and tugging. “Suits you.”

She sent him a well deserving glare, which was fair, before she dug her heel into his upper thigh, far too close to his dick for his liking, and sat herself back up again. “You’re such a twat.”

“So I've been told.” He sang, though he then rubbed at his tender leg with a wry grimace, “Shit, remind me not to actually piss you off.”

Squeaks shot him a grin and relaxed back into their earlier position.

Her phone went off then and Matty watched on as she manoeuvred herself awkwardly around on the sofa to grab it from her back pocket without getting up. He raised a brow at her triumphant grin but she just looked down at the notification she’d gotten.

“Everything alright?”

She hummed, typing something off before looking back up at him and tucking the phone away again. “Just Finn, says he’s back home tomorrow and wants to see us.”

Right… the infamous Finn Matty had yet to actually meet.

“Where’s he been?” He asked, toying with the cuff of her jean leg.

“New York!” And the smile that she’d answered with told Matty a thousand things, “He had an auction up there or something, then ended up staying a few extra days to meet with this elusive client.”

“Shady.” He commented with a humoured smile, one he hoped would conceal his insecurities around the whole situation.

He’d heard a lot about Mouse’s best mate, and these worries weren’t just down to the fact that he’d yet to meet the bloke, but also because Finn seemed to be such a big figure in not just hers, but Teddy’s lives. He’d been away a lot in recent months and Matty wondered over whether his presence would throw a spanner into the works once he was finally let back into the fold.

“Very much so,” Mouse laughed, none the wiser to the chaos consuming his mind, “But I’m excited to see him, it’ll be good.”

Matty merely hummed.

She must’ve sensed some apprehension in it because she turned to tilt her head at him, playing with her fingers now. “Would-” She paused and Matty looked up to wait her out, she inhaled after a moment and then let the breath go, “Would you want to meet him? Or is that, I dunno, too fast?”

His forehead pinched and he shook his head. “No, not too fast.” He deemed, though he could’ve just lied and put off meeting the bloke for as long as he possibly could.

“I mean, we don’t have to put it in writing or anything.” Squeaks was quick to reply, “He’ll be around for a few weeks now, so we can just, I don’t know, work something out soon. Like meet at a cafe, a bar, the studio… here?”

She seemed to be spiralling a bit and although it was cute, Matty felt the need to save her, “Love, it’s fine. Whatever makes you comfortable. You’ve met the guys, and they love you, so-” He put his brave face on, “So I’m sure Finn will love me too. Yeah?”

He was met with a rapid nod, one that should’ve quelled his fears but only seemed to heighten them instead.

“So we’re doing this then?”

Matty blinked and lifted his chin to find her watching him again, that soft smile of hers back in its rightful place, looking pleased with how it had all turned out.

“What, meeting your mate?” He questioned her, having figured that much had been obvious, but then she was rolling her eyes at him again.

“No, I meant- me and you.”

Oh.

Oh, he was grinning properly now. Like a massive twat, yeah, but how could he not? When she sat there looking all lovely and asking him if they could be something.

“Me and you sounds good.” Matty murmured around the strength of his smile, fingertips diving beneath the hem of her jeans to tap the jut of her ankle bone.

He would've been embarrassed about it but he reckoned his grin was mimicked on her face and was all the more glad for it. Because he’d seen her smile and he’d seen laugh, but this grin. It was something else.

It wasn’t a difficult decision, his next move. Because before Matty could even contemplate it, he was all but throwing himself up the other end of the settee to cradle her head between his arms and catch her mouth with his.

She kissed him back with almost as much excitement, the pair of them smiling and laughing giddily at the stupidity and utter prospect of it all.

“Got you trapped now.” Matty breathed into the space between them not long after, eyes boring into her own. He hadn't been lying earlier when he’d claimed that they were one of his favourite things about her.

She barked out a laugh, hands falling away from where they’d been holding his neck to cover her face. “Was that a mouse joke?” She asked him through the gaps in her fingers, shaking her head at him.

Matty hadn’t really thought too much about his words, but thinking back he couldn’t stop himself from laughing too, bowing his shoulders to chuckle into the crook of her neck. “Fuck, I guess so.”

Her arms wrapped themselves around him again and so he nipped at the edge of her jaw, grinning like a fucking idiot.

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boxboxlewis · 9 months

Note

Prompt: duck soulmate au 🦆

There's a rubber duck sitting neatly on the back of Daniel's drivers room sofa.

Daniel is getting used to the Alpha Tauri motorhome. It feels, like everything at AT, like a shitty proof-of-concept mockup of the real thing over at Red Bull: flimsier walls, smaller rooms, worse catering. But like—it's fine. He's not going to be there for too long, hopefully. Everyone's friendly, at least. Everyone's glad to have him back.

This duck, though. "Yuki," Daniel yells. He doesn't take his eyes off the duck.

Yuki sticks his head round the door. "Yes?"

"Did you put this duck here, mate?"

"Why would I put a fucking duck in your room. Daniel." Yuki doesn't sound impressed. He vanishes.

It's probably—journalists have been asking a lot, recently, about Daniel's lack of soulmate. He's thirty-four and not a hint of a goose. If you're going to get one, you usually get it by thirty, and Daniel had given some unwise quotes, earlier in his career. "I'm pretty sure I'm going to get goosed, right? I'm a very soulable guy," spoken straight into the Netflix cameras, is one in particular that journos like to throw back at him.

He'd thought, when he and Max got back together, that maybe—but. No goose, still.

The rubber duck feels like a mocking reference to the whole no-soulmate thing, and if Daniel's honest, he doesn't love it. He gets his phone out and texts Max. Some prick put a rubber duck in my drivers room.

He can see Max typing on and off for a few minutes before a reply comes through. Why do you assume it was a prick. Then, Maybe a very handsome boyfriend put it there.

Right, ok. Daniel looks at the duck again. Now that he knows it's from Max it looks friendlier. Almost cute. Why did you put a duck in my room, baby?

Max is typing, pausing, typing, pausing. At last he sends I'll tell you later.

Daniel finds a spot for the duck on a shelf, and kind of forgets about it.

Max wins, obviously. He wins the sprint and he wins the proper race on Sunday. Daniel is happy for him and also queasily resentful, love and envy curdling together in his throat. He pushes the envy aside pretty well, he thinks.

He's watching Max give a post-race interview, standing to one side behind him like some loyal political wife whose husband is explaining to the press that he's definitely not going to fuck a staffer again. It's fine. Max says that Red Bull have a very good car. He enjoys driving it. He says it like it's impossible for him to imagine not enjoying driving, and Daniel feels a tug of fondness somewhere in his chest. He can't resent Max, not really.

Then Max says, "Ask me about soulmates."

The journalist—it's someone from F1TV, Daniel thinks, but not someone he recognises—blinks at Max. "About... sorry, you want me to...?"

"Ask me," Max repeats, in his direct, throaty voice. Daniel loves him: that's all. "About soulmates."

"Right, yes," the journo says. "Er, Max, can you tell us your views on soulmates?"

"Well first of all I think they are very stupid," Max says immediately. "Who wants some smelly goose to follow them around? And also I think, they are bad because they can make people feel that their love doesn't matter, if they don't have a soul bond. But the love you build with someone because you both want to—I think, that is more romantic. To me."

The journalist smiles brightly at the camera. "Well, there we go! That's race champion Max Verstappen on soulmates! Now let's—"

But Max isn't finished. "For me, I would not even want a goose," Max says. "I would rather have some little rubber duck, that my lover had given to me. That would mean more, I think."

There are cameras all around them, but when Daniel steps forward and looks a question at Max, Max gives him a tiny nod, so: Daniel kisses him.

The rubber duck, assisted by Max's nephews, is the ringbearer at their wedding.

#lmaoooo sorry em you asked and i answered!!!#YES: this WAS inspired by a deranged typo i left in a half-awake note to myself #i wrote this straight into tumblr so any further typos are between me and god #my fic #maxiel #soulmate goose #kind of #mv33 #dr3

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number1mingyustan · 10 months

Text

Expiration Date (1/2) ☾✹

artist!joshua x model!fem!reader

Genre: smut, hurt, angst

Warnings: cursing, arguing, crying, mentions of pregnancy/miscarriage, mentions of suicide and eating disorders, mentions of depression and cheating, there's an injury, explicit smut, oral (f.), orgasm denial, scratching, unprotected sex, creampie, like a whole lot happens

Summary: In a matter of hours, it all went to shit

Word Count: 3.8k

_______________________________________________

(a/n: inspired by the movie malcom and marie)

part 2

It's cold in the city tonight. It's January in New York, reasonably so. Yet with the frigid air outside, nothing feels colder than the inside of your home. Joshua steps into your shared penthouse first, not even bothering to turn around and look at you when he holds the door open for you.

You trail behind silently.

Everything right now is eerily silent. The floorboards creaking are the only sounds to be heard in your home. There's a thick tension filling the air and it's nauseating.

Joshua darts toward the thermostat, turning up the heat in the frigid house.You're still standing at the door when he turns around and faces you.

"Are you finally going to tell me what I did to piss you off?" he asks.

"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about," you lie, folding your arms together.

He lets out a sigh of exhaustion. "Y/n, midway through the showing tonight you started icing me out. You've been giving me death glares and didn't say a word to me the entire cab ride home. Clearly I've done something to upset you."

You ignore him, intentionally making contact with your shoulder when you brush past him. You walk toward your shared bedroom. "I don't want to fight tonight, I'd rather we just save it until tomorrow."

He lets out another sigh of annoyance before following after you. "It won't have to be a fight unless you make it one Y/n. Just tell me what's pissing you off."

You walk through the halls of the spacious penthouse with Joshua trailing behind. "I promise you right now this won't be a productive conversation and it will turn into a fight. It's after 1 in the morning and I'm tired 'Shua, Just drop it, okay?"

"You know I hate going to bed angry, and you're angry. Just tell me now," he urges.

You stop in front of the door with a sigh before turning to face him. "Not once did you thank me tonight," you say before entering the bedroom and closing the door in his face.

Joshua stands outside the door in shock. What? That's what you've been pissy about half the evening? You drank a bit tonight, and he can only hope it's the alcohol that's making you react this way.

"Y/n," he sighs again. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You heard me the first time!" you call from behind the door. "You thanked the whole fucking world tonight and managed to forget about me!"

He can hear faint rustling through the wooden door. You don’t respond for a bit and the rustling is the only thing he can hear. What the hell are you doing?

"I mean," you scoff. "If you wanted to save face for this relationship you could have at least tried."

"The hell do you mean 'save face'?" he asks, tone full of offense.

The doorknob rattles and you appear with a blanket in hand. All your makeup has been wiped off and you’ve changed into some pyjamas.

"At least making it look like we're happy and this relationship is still going well," you rant, unfolding the blanket and spreading it across the couch.

"I wasn't aware that this was an unhappy relationship for us," he grits his jaw.

"Oh save it',' you roll your eyes. "You know you gave up on us a long time ago."

"I haven't given up on anything!" he shouts. "I can't believe you're accusing me of all this stuff because I didn't say thank you! It was one small mistake tonight!"

You stomp toward him, waving a finger in his face. "It wasn't a small mistake Joshua! It was a big one, and the fact that you can't even realize it is so upsetting! This is about so much more than your mistake tonight too, it's about everything Joshua. It's about the fact it's been nearly six years and I still haven't gotten a ring or half your attention anymore."

He tips his head back and massages his temples annoyedly. "How many times do we have to talk about this? We both agreed we weren't going to get married until–"

"–Until things settled with your career," you cut him off rudely. "I know, but you've been saying that for two years and it feels like you have given up." Your voice breaks as you finish your sentence.

A beat.

Silence fills the room. There are tears welling in your eyes and your jaw is locked as you to hold back your tears.

Truth be told, you were beginning to feel like your biggest fear had come true. That Joshua didn't love you anymore.

You and Joshua first met six years prior at an art event. It was the first time one of his pieces were showcased in an actual gallery. He thought having his art there was going to be what changed his life, but truthfully it was you walking through the door.

You were not supposed to be there, you stumbled into the gallery very drunkenly and nearly knocked over his painting. To this day neither of you know how you ended up there, but you both believe it was fate.

You sniffle quickly. "Whatever, It's almost two, I'm going to sleep. I'm sleeping on the couch, you can take the bed."

You turn around quickly, walking back toward the couch where you cover yourself with the blanket.

Joshua sighs, rubbing his hands on his face as he paces in circles around the penthouse. You hear his footsteps start to grow distant as he walks into the bedroom. When you hear the door close, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

A few minutes later, the door reopens and he comes back into the living room. You sit up, pushing the blanket off your body.

He stands in front of you, now changed into a plain white t-shirt and sweats. “I don’t want to go to bed like this.”

You frown. “I really don’t want to do this with you right now.”

“Well I do,” he states firmly.

You lift yourself off the couch and make your way into the kitchen. "I need a drink," you mumble. He turns around, eyes following you as you bend over and search through the cabinets.

Your head appears again, a bottle of vodka in hand. "Would you like a drink 'Shua?" you ask, purposely not acknowledging his previous statement.

He leans against the couch cushion. "I just told you I'd rather talk, besides I think you've had enough to drink tonight."

You take a glass out of another cabinet, placing it onto the counter and ignoring him deliberately. "I didn't say we won't talk, I just wanted to know if you wanted a drink."

You begin pouring yourself a glass. You glare at him, making intense eye contact as you down the drink. It burns your throat, but it numbs the pain.

He lifts himself off the couch and walks over to you. He stands in front of you, dangerously close. He wraps his hand around the glass in your hand, refusing to break eye contact.

"You thanked everyone but me," your voice cracks again. "Am I really that far out of your mind? You couldn't even say my name? It's like you don't even see me anymore. You spend so much time kissing up to agents and other artists and the whole fucking world for that matter. You know, you thanked Angel 4 times tonight. I counted, four time Joshua. And I couldn't get a single thank you when my face and body are plastered around the whole fucking exhibit! You can't even see me anymore. It's like I'm invisible."

"It's not that baby..." he chews the inside of his cheek. "It was an honest mistake."

"How could you forget about me when I was standing right there? If I'm the quote 'inspiration for all your art? Your muse? Remember that Joshie? How I’m supposed to be the inspiration for everything you do?”

His muse. His inspiration. The apple of his eye.

You were the center of his career.

"I-"

"I mean, I have literally pointed out my issue and haven't gotten so much as an apology yet."

Your grip on the glass tightens. He can feel the tension growing in your hand. You're not angry, you're hurt. He tries to pull the glass our of your grip, but instead it falls to the ground and shatters upon impact.

Shards of glass cover the kitchen floor, but one rather large shard is wedged into your foot. You react immediately, crying out in pain as the glass digs into your flesh.

"Fuck," he curses. "I'm sorry."

He helps you back to the couch, careful not to let anything touch your foot. He bends down in front of you, examining your would. You're gripping the couch, head tilted back and wincing in pain.

He darts out of the living room, grabbing the first aid kit from the bathroom before making his return to you. He kneels before you with a pair of tweezers.

"Alright baby," he coos. "I got you."

He uses the tweezers to remove the glass shard, wincing as you cry out in pain. If he didn't feel bad already, he definitely does now. Once he ensures the glass is no longer in your foot, he cleans your would and wraps it with a bandage.

The penthouse has fallen silent again. You look down at him with tear stained cheeks and glassy eyes. He bites his tongue, knowing that if he speaks it'll only make things worse.

"You know....you didn't even tell me you loved me back when you hung up to phone yesterday."

"What?"

A beat.

"After I called you yesterday while you were at the gallery doing finishing touches for tonight... I told you that I loved you before I said bye... and you know what you said? Nothing."

"I was just busy Y/n," he frowns. "You know I love you. I swear I was just stressed about everything with the showing tonight and it slipped my mind. I'm sorry."

"I just don't understand how it's possible I've been slipping your mind lately. It's like you don't see me anymore 'Shua. You-You look at me but you don't see me, not anymore."

"Stop that," he lifts his body up, seating himself on the couch next to you. "That's not true, I do see you. I see everything about you and I love you for it. You know that. I've been a shitty boyfriend lately and I'm sorry. I-I've been an idiot but you know you're my reason for everything."

His thumb wipes away the fresh tears staining your cheeks. "I'm sorry, I'm so so so–mmph"

His apology is suddenly cut off when you kiss him. He doesn't take long to react, melting into your touch and allowing his eyes to fall shut. He cups your cheek with his hand, moving his lips in perfect sync with yours.

You climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck. You pull away from the kiss every so slightly, keeping your lips only mere centimeters from his. "That's all I wanted to hear."

He smiles. "So we're fine? Done fighting?

You nod before kissing him again. This time, it grows heated, allowing a new tension to fill the room. His hands fall to your hips, guiding you as you grind your hips against him. He moans into the kiss before pulling away slightly. "Come back to bed," he whispers.

You nod again before reconnecting your lips. He lifts your body up and carries you through the penthouse and into the bedroom. He doesn't bother to close the door, simply dropping you on your bed.

Your nightclothes typically consist of an oversized t-shirt and a thong, providing him easy access. Your shirt has already ridden up, revealing the lacy black thong separating you and him. He kisses down your body, your jaw, your neck, your stomach, your inner thighs.

He drags your underwear down, leaving it pooled at your ankle before burying his head between your thighs. You let out a breathy moan at first contact. His tongue laps your folds, sending jolts of pleasure through your body.

Joshua knew your body like the back of his hand. While he may not always be on his A game within the scope of your relationship, he would make it up to you in bed.

He always knew how to touch you just right. He'd have you falling apart within a matter of minutes. Time and time again he never failed to disappoint.

It was a shame he worked so much. It's been over a month since the two of you were last intimate. You try your best to put it out of your mind, you have him now and that's all that should really matter.

You're gripping his hair as his tongue circles your clit. You're soaking his face, growing more and more aroused as he goes down on you. He's so good with his tongue, providing you with everything you need and more.

You can already start to feel your orgasm approaching. The knot in your stomach is tightening and the pleasure builds in your lower region. You're panting an moaning above him, relishing in how good he's making you feel.

You're so close to the edge, fingers gripping his hair tightly. Your head sinks deeper into the pillow. He's holding your legs open with his arms, tightening his grip.

You're on the brink of an orgasm when he suddenly stops. You whine, holding tightening around nothing as disappointment washes over your body. He lifts his head from between your thighs, a wide smirk is plastered across his face.

"You're always such a tease Joshua," you pout.

"Yeah," he licks his lips. "But you love it."

He presses a quick kiss on your lips before sitting up and pulling his shirt over his head. He rids himself of his sweats and boxers, revealing his rock hard cock to your line of sight.

You're practically drooling, the thought of him being inside of you leaving you dripping on the bed beneath you. He hovers over you, dragging the length of his cock along your folds. Your lips are parted as you pant, waiting desperately for him to fuck you.

He manages a soft 'I love you' before slipping his cock inside of you. You both moan out in unison. He stretches you out perfectly, nestling his cock inside of you comfortably.

You wrap your arms around his frame, pulling his body closer to you as he fucks you. His thrusts start slow, gradually picking up in pace. The air is filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, low grunts and groans slipping from Joshua's lips, and your desperate whines and moans. The bed shifts with every thrust, making a soft thud as the frame hits the wall.

"Shit," he curses. "You feel so good-fuck."

He buries his head in the crook of your neck. " 'S been too long since I- since I fucked you. Fuck baby."

You moan out in agreement. Your nails are digging into his back, sure to leave scratch marks. He doesn't mind, he's too caught up in how you're dripping him to really even notice.

"So good 'Shua," you cry out.

He looks down at where the two of you are connected, trailing his hand down to rub circles on your clit with his thumb. You tighten around him at initial contact, causing him to groan rather loudly.

You're on the brink of cumming again. Joshua can feel it, the way you're clenching around him and pushing your hips up to meet his thrusts. Your moans turn to whines and your nails are really digging into his back.

When your orgasm finally hits, it hits hard. You needed this. Your pink vibrator can only provide you with so much, and it's nothing nearly as good as this. He watches you from above as you fall apart around his cock.

He fucks you through it, pace never faltering as you enter a state of bliss. He falls apart only moments after you. You started begging him to cum inside of you and hearing you so desperate was more than enough to have him finishing inside.

You let out a relieved moan as he pumps his cum inside of you. His hips still before he pulls out and falls onto the bed beside you. Both of your chests rise and fall, breathing heavily as you come down from your highs.

The room falls quiet. You're laying on his chest with his arm wrapped around you. You can still feel the heat radiating off of his sweaty body.

"You were right when you said it's been too long since we've done that," your fingers play with his.

He nods in agreement. "I know. I've just been so busy with my art and the few times I'm not, you're doing your shoots and talking with agents."

"Yeah," you blink. "Just would've figured you'd take advantage of it more you know, considering I can't get pregnant or anything."

A beat.

Joshua can't believe his ears. He scoffs, not bothering to look at you before he's rolling out of the bed and redressing himself.

"Where are you going?" you ask.

He doesn't answer you, shutting the bedroom door behind him and leaving you by yourself. He goes back into the living room, settling himself on the couch.

You pull your shirt back over your head before trailing behind. You stand in the living room, leaning against the wall. "What's your problem now?"

"Honestly Y/n, fuck you," he says simply.

You roll your eyes. 'Why are you being so pissy? I said we were done fighting."

"You know, you walked into this house giving me the cold shoulder and placing the blame on me for everything, but you know what Y/n? You're the fucking problem," he scoffs. "I may not be perfect, but you're just a bitch. I have done so much for you and you had the motherfucking audacity to act like I haven't done shit and painted me as the bad guy."

"Fuck you!" you shout.

"No Y/n, fuck you," he spits. "You may be my muse, but if I hadn't started painting you, none of those modeling agencies would have signed you. You would still be a lowlife dropout with nowhere to go. You act like I've treated you like shit even though I have done nothing but care for you over these past six years."

You turn your head away. His words sting and you hate that he's right.

"You had the fucking audacity to say that back in the bedroom like I didn't have to pay for you to be hospitalized after we lost that fucking baby. Like I wasn't there for you when you were depressed and refusing to eat for weeks after it happened. I went to therapy sessions with you and comforted you. I called 911 when you decided to swallow a whole bottle of pills because you couldn't live with yourself after losing the baby."

Tears are brimming the corners of your eyes. Your lips quiver as you try to maintain a straight face. His truthful words are like a stab in the heart.

"I forgave you after you fucked somebody else. Remember that Y/n? Two days after it happened when you disappeared in the middle of the night to go fuck a stranger? You weren't the only one who was fucking hurting. I lost the baby too, and I nearly lost you. That shit did damage, but I put my own hurt aside to care for you. And now you have the audacity to tell me I don't see you? Fuck you."

You stay silent.

"This was a big night for me. I put so much into that fucking showcase, and I'm sorry I didn't thank you. But the least you could do is be happy for me and not do any more damage to this relationship. I know I fucked up, but I was happy tonight and all I wanted to do was come home and celebrate with my girl," he sighs. "You claim that I gave up on this relationship but you started sabotaging it two years ago."

"I never sabotaged us," your voice breaks.

"You did and you know it," he grits. "I get it, you were depressed and going through hell and back. But you tried to push me away. You created a gap between us and it has only gotten bigger since. You say you're upset about the ring, but truthfully do you even want it? Do you actually think you can recite any wedding vows and mean it? To be bound for life and promise to love me forever?"

"I'm going back to bed," you say.

Joshua gets up, grabbing you by the arm. "You started this Y/n. Don't just walk away. You've already got one foot out the door on this relationship!"

"Shut up," you mumble.

"I'm serious. You want that ring so fucking badly, you can have it. But I don't think you really want it. I don't think you want to spend the rest of your life with me knowing you won't ever be able to have my kids."

"Shut up," you say louder.

"I think you've wanted me gone ever since the doctors said it wasn't going to happen. And it kills you that we can't have the family you've always wanted."

"SHUT UP!" you finally shout.

Tears are flowing down your face nonstop. You're a sobbing mess, pushing him off of you. "SHUTUP SHUTUP SHUTUP!"

"All I wanted was a thank you," you cry. "You made me feel forgettable and I am entitled to my own feelings. I felt hurt tonight."

"Yeah? I felt pretty fucking hurt when you cheated on me. I felt hurt when you gave up on us," he bites back.

"I haven't given up on anything," you sniffle.

"You have! You gave up a long time ago. And yeah, maybe I did forget to tell you I loved you and to thank you. But the only reason you're so hurt is because you know how I've felt for the past two years. To feel the other person slipping away. You can say I've given up all you want, but you did it first."

Eerily silence fills the room once again. The tensions has grown even thicker and it's sickening. It feels like your entire world has come crashing down.

"I'm going back to bed," you say quietly.

He stares at you before mumbling an 'ok.' You turn around taking a few steps in the direction of the bedroom before he stops you.

"Y/n," he calls.

You turn around.

"Thank you," he says.

"You're welcome," you reply.

Your quiet footsteps grow quieter as you make your way to the bedroom. The house feels cold again and there's something tugging at your heart. It's painful and constricting.

You are physically and emotionally drained, and you know he is too. The bed feels so much bigger without Joshua sleeping by your side. You have a hard time falling asleep, as does he.

Everything feels wrong and you can only await when the morning comes.

_______________________________________________

this is part 1 of 2 !!

#seventeen smut #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #seventeen angst #joshua seventeen #joshua hong #joshua smut #kpop #seventeen joshua

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eightmakesonebraincell · 2 months

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Which of the mafia!ateez members who are bad boys but when you are there, they showed their soft side?

ooooh this ask scratches my brain real good because the concept of mafia!ateez is all about cold, ruthless men with grey morals who become soft, gooey and protective only for their s/o 😍🤩

(pls note: this is based purely on the aus and headcanons that i've created for my mafia world)

mafia!hongjoong - tbh he wouldn't be soft for you per se, he'd be more of a textbook simp LMAO. look the mans has got to maintain his image as the big scary mafia boss. but the person who really runs the show? you. just say the word and he will be contacting all of his connections, pulling in all his owed favours, utilising all his resources and men; basically anything and everything he can do for you

mafia!seonghwa - if joong is the textbook definition of a simp then seonghwa is the textbook definition of soft 🥹🫶 given your history of trauma as well, seonghwa makes sure to shower you with the gentlest and most tender love that he can give you. you make his life so much more domestic and homey and cozy he feels his heart literally burst every time he looks at you

mafia!yunho - he's also very very soft for you. yunho's nearly lost you once (and by his own hands at that) so he's never going to want to see you get hurt ever again. you always have to remind him that you can do things by yourself but it must be the height difference or sth because the man won't doesn't hear a word. but in saying that, this man also finds joy in teasing and pranking you

mafia!yeosang - hmm yeosang was a bit of a tricky one to think about. growing up, you were the one who took care of him a lot of the times (if we're being real i'm pretty sure most of us want to baby him) and so he was mostly just comfortable with you. i think eventually though, once he became your bodyguard and he started to notice that hang on, you're actually shorter and smoller than him now, the dynamic started to change. yeosang probably doesn't even realise that he's got a soft spot for you

mafia!san - hoOOO OKAY san is soft yes but you drive his protective instincts wild. like he is the type to watch the whole world burn if anyone hurts you. he can never really ever forget that night when you turned up at his apartment, vulnerable and asking for his help. he'd put himself between you and the rest of the world in a heartbeat

mafia!mingi - ik a couple of the other teezers have a civilian s/o too, but for mingi in particular, the fact that you're a normal civilian (that he accidentally dragged into his mafia mess) makes him that much softer when he's around you. he's honest with you and will answer your questions if you ever ask, but there's a larger part of him that wants to keep you far far away from his crimes. you see the best in him and if he could, he wants to only show you that side of him forever

mafia!wooyoung - textbook simp #2 like this boy CANNOT. and i say C A N N O T hide his affection for you to save his life (you definitely get kidnapped once a month because of how obvious he makes it that you're his lover). but wooyoung's affection comes hand in hand with brattiness so he will make it his mission to test how far he can drive you up the wall 🙄

mafia!jongho - jongho is definitely soft, but it's a lot more subtle than the other members. he doesn't express it so much with words or touch but you can see his softness clear as day in the things that he does for you. like FIRST UP the whole joining the mafia to bring justice to your dad's death???? he quite literally upended his whole life for you 🫵 i think also the fact that you two have known each other since you were children plays a part in the subtlety of his soft affection. he knows you like the back of his hand and he'll do things for you without ever being asked and without asking for acknowledgement

#loren answers #sadfragilegirl #< what a mood #thanks for the ask this was such an indulgent one to answer #also i was originally going to make this a mtl #but then i kept putting them all tied for first place #so i was like well this ain't working 🧐#mafia!ateez #mafia ateez

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1d1195 · 10 months

Text

Traditional XI

You can read the rest of Traditional here.

Thank you so much for the love and support on this story. She and Harry have definitely turned into one of my favorite couples I've had the pleasure of writing about. As an aside, I will be posting a long overdue "how my taglist works" (because I a tumblr-elder and don't know what I'm doing anymore). But for those of you that have been tagged throughout the series, please check out the message at the bottom.

This is the final part (not including the extras I have lined up.) There's a bit of angst and a good bit of fluff. It follows part ten immediately and I also continued with marking the days/time because I think it made it a bit easier to follow.

Truly, really, thank you so much. Part 1-11 is 67k words and I’ve enjoyed typing each one. I hope you continue to enjoy reading. Without further ado:

“She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

Harry felt his entire body freeze over with a new fear that Niall mistakenly unlocked. It truly felt like his body was made of ice. He grabbed at his phone anxiously calling the apartment complex’s main line. He had to suffer through prompts before he could finally talk to a person. He asked if it looked as if anyone was moving stuff from his apartment (although he would have given it to her at this point).

Monday

“I’ll kill him,” Louis shouted, almost proudly as he entered the apartment. She shook her head and just burst into tears as she told him about all the things Harry did. While he was prepared to murder him, Louis’ heart softened with each task Harry completed to make sure his best friend was cared for. It was everything he ever hoped for the girl he thought of as one of his own sisters. He wouldn’t kill Harry. He couldn’t...not if he did all that for her.

Eleanor combed her fingers through her hair while the poor girl cried in her lap. Louis was frowning, glancing at Eleanor every so often as she spoke. “Babe,” Louis whispered when she finished her story.

She sniffled. “I don’t know why I did that,” she croaked. “That was so stupid, who does that? You should have seen the look on his face. He’s never going to forgive me.”

“Of course, he will,” Eleanor said easily shaking her head. Her voice was so solid, like she had already talked to Harry about it and knew with every fiber of her being. Louis crouched beside her wiping the tears out of her eyes as comfortingly as he could. “Harry loves you, darling,” Eleanor reminded her.

“Why was I so mean?” She choked on another sob. “I’d hate me. I was so heartless.”

“You were overwhelmed, love,” Eleanor promised. “That was a lot to take in, all in one day. But he meant the best and brightest for you. You have to believe that. Harry has never done anything but try to make sure you’re taken care of.”

She took in a shaking breath as more tears poured out of her; she was so unhappy with how she handled the whole day. Maybe she was overwhelmed. That would at least have made some sense. There was so much to be overwhelmed about. Everything she had been bottling up. All of which was threatening to burst because it just had to be one of those weeks where it all just piled and piled until it all crumbled down.

“Babe,” Louis whispered trying to stop the tears from falling but failing because they kept coming faster than he could swipe her cheeks. “C’mon.”

“I know you all went to the funeral for my dad,” she sniffled. She may as well have wallowed in the hurt a bit more. They needed to know she knew. “I know they had one...I saw it in the online obituary.”

They were silent for a minute. Louis didn’t move his eyes from hers for a moment. He pressed his lips together in a thin line. So of course, she knew she was right. They did hide it from her.

However, Louis wasn’t going to forget that she let them hide it. He stared at Eleanor for a moment; having some silent conversation that only the two of them could have. The entire time she continued crying. Eleanor gave her a comforting squeeze as best she could with her sprawled across her lap.

“I think you’re scared,” Eleanor whispered without addressing her comment about the services.

“El,” Louis’ voice wasn’t a whisper like it had been directed at the sobbing girl. His tone wasn’t gentle. It was like he was warning her not to continue.

“Scared of what?” She sniffed because she may have heard the warning in Louis’ voice, but she was already miserable. It couldn’t be worse than what she felt.

“Tell her, Louis. Tell her,” Eleanor begged. She turned her attention back to her best friend.

Louis reminded her so much of her brother, she wondered if he would have been as wise as Louis was if he were still around. Even for the goofball he made himself out to be, Louis was nearly sagely at his age. He was the one she went to for advice. The one she asked for help when she needed to get Harry a birthday gift. If she was stuck in the middle of nowhere, she was pretty sure she would still call Louis first. He was her best friend because he always knew what to say to her and even if it was hard to hear he always told her the hard truths.

She could see on his face that it was going to hurt to lay whatever he was about to say in front of her if only because she was already so heartbroken. “Being cared for,” he bit the inside of his lip, but he didn’t break his gaze with her. “You think it’s a death sentence,” he told her. His tone was soothing, even though the words were not. “Because when your brother came to get you, he tragically died. Don’t think I’m forgetting that. But then, your parents stopped caring for you...so it was like...you associated the two,” he explained. “And then, you didn’t tell me. So, in your mind, caring for you is a death sentence for those that love you.”

She was speechless. Her sniffles slowed, which allowed her to sit in the upright position, but Eleanor still had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. She swallowed as she listened to him speak without hiccupping on her breath. “Do you really think we wouldn’t have let you live with us?” Eleanor asked softly from beside her. “The only one that thought you needed to get your own space was you...and don’t get me wrong, I’m happy that you got Harry out of the deal, but you could have lived with us for forever,” she smiled gently at her.

She stared at the two of them and Louis looked at her tear-stained face with a frown. “Love,” he said so gently. “You have spent so long building up walls making sure you take care of everyone in your life because the last time you stopped taking care of someone else and had fun of your own, something horrible and tragic happened,” She looked away from him, sniffling uncontrollably. “But it wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t. No matter how many times your mum says it was...no matter how many times you sit next to his gravestone and feel guilty for it. He would have gone and got you and he would have turned that steering wheel to protect you over, and over, and over again,” she couldn’t look at Louis when he talked about it. It was his best friend, and she just took him away forever...all for a party. “I would have done it for you, babe,” he promised. She hated the idea of that too so much that she let out another whimpering sob. “Now, so would Harry,” he told her, and the pang of anxiety at the mere idea Harry would fatally hurt for her rippled all through her body she felt sick at the idea...it hurt all the way to her toes and made her fingertips feel numb.

But Louis pressed on making it hurt even more but with every intention of making it better. “You can’t keep your guard up forever. You can’t stop people from taking care of you because you miss him and worry about the consequences of them taking care of you,” he said. “We all take that risk for someone we love,” he brushed the tears off her cheeks once more as they were finally slowing to a pace he could keep up with. She refused to look at him. But Louis wouldn’t accept that. “Babe,” he said turning her chin back to him. “Let someone else take care of you. Let Harry do it. You’ve done it for long enough.”

Tuesday

Niall found Harry throwing the lamp on his desk against the wall of his office so hard he was surprised the wall didn’t shatter. But the lamp certainly did. Nearly splintered into a hundred pieces. He flopped into his desk chair and hung his head practically between his knees.

“Christ, the two of you today,” he grumbled hoping to find Harry in better shape than his typically better mood intern. Obviously, that would not be the case. “What’s wrong?” He asked, closing the door.

Harry ran a hand over his face. He wanted to cry but he was at work, and he shouldn’t have. “She gave it back,” he said stiffly. His throat was catching on to the words.

“Gave what back?” Niall asked curiously. “The apartment?”

His gaze snapped up to Niall and he mouthed the word whoa. If Niall said it out loud, he didn’t hear it. He was shocked by the redness of Harry’s eyes, the withdrawn look. He knew it was bad when she could hardly keep track of what she was doing this morning. It was worse than when her coffee spilled all over her things a few months ago.

But seeing his best friend so distressed…

He was awarded the slightest bit of relief to hear the word “no” at the other end. It washed over him as he rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, alright. Thanks,” he mumbled hanging up. He sat in his chair, and he glanced at Niall balling his hands into fists. “She gave back all the money,” he mumbled.

Niall did the easy and quick calculations in his head regarding the last eight or so months. “Whoa.”

Harry told him all about the reference calls, the graduation ceremony, and the lawyers’ meeting with her mum, and the good news. He told Niall how he paid for her student loans and kept all of it hidden from her. Harry tried to hide the tears in his eyes, but Niall knew they were there in his voice as he listened.

“Harry...you gotta just talk to her.”

“M’pretty sure she hates me.”

“That’s a load of shit, alright,” Niall said knowingly. “She loves you.” Harry felt his heart hoping a bit by way of fluttering against his ribs. He shook his head. He didn’t want to hope because she looked betrayed, and it was all his fault. Niall shook his head. “She’s all snively and you’re all angry. You two are quite the pair. You could have a show.”

He wanted to throw something at Niall, but he was too exhausted to hold his head up, let alone hold anything worth throwing—and he wouldn’t really throw something at his best friend. So, he sat there, devastated that she gave him the money back. It worried him to the core. It seemed his new fear of her leaving that apartment was going to be real, sooner rather than later.

And if she left Styles Incorporated…

“She said that you needed this today,” Niall shrugged and put a folder on Harry’s desk in front of him. He winced knowing she was still helping even when she was upset with him. “Tragic that I have to play messenger,” he shook his head. “I hope you talk to her.”

But Harry didn’t want to press. It was obvious he pressed too much and now he had to wait for her to forgive him.

Maybe.

Wednesday

She didn’t come to work.

There was nothing else to say.

There was nothing he could think about except that she didn’t come to work.

He didn’t get to see her. All day and an entire near-sleepless night. He impulsively shopped for items scheduled to be delivered the following day. Items he didn’t need but he needed to get for her...even if she never set foot in his house again.

There was nothing else he could think about.

Thursday

Niall brought his tea to him that afternoon.

So, a new nightmare plagued him, and he continued to think of nothing else but the distance she was putting between them.

Friday

For the second time in his life, and moreover, the second time within a year, Harry left work early. Niall was insistent. He was agitated beyond belief, his one meeting he was completely distracted that Niall did most of the talking. Harry’s company was substantial, but surely, she couldn’t avoid him on the entire floor.

But she did. She managed somehow to avoid him even when he kept going in and out of Niall’s office and thereby walking through her little space. But she wasn’t there a single of the seven or so times he walked through. At one point he walked in for the sake of walking in. Niall was on the phone with a client. Harry just shook his head and left before even registering the fact Niall was there.

It was after the meeting that Niall encouraged him to leave for the day. “I don’t need to,” he snapped at his friend. “Jus’ get on with it,” he muttered.

Niall sighed, blew a long breath out his mouth. He packed his belongings from off the table and patted Harry on the back. “Meeting’s over, Harry,” he said and left him alone in the conference room.

He knew he was in tough shape but not even realizing the meeting was over seemed bad even for the way he was feeling. Rubbing the back of his head, he headed once more to Niall’s office. This time he wasn’t surprised she wasn’t there. Harry apologized to Niall quickly, returned to gather his stuff from his office, and left for home.

“Harry went home, so you don’t have to keep hiding,” Niall rolled his eyes as she tentatively tiptoed into her office. He didn’t look up, so he didn’t see the way she nearly dropped all of the papers in her arms at Niall’s sudden (accurate) accusation that she was hiding.

She bit her lip and put the papers on her desk. Niall didn’t look up as she walked toward his desk. “I yelled at him,” she whispered.

“Good, he probably deserved it,” Niall said simply. “People don’t yell at him enough. Think because he’s CEO, he’s without a flaw,” he shrugged. “He’s not, I’ve never seen him finish one document on his own because he never remembers how to fill it out. The man can’t multiply to save his life—I always do the tip at the restaurant. He has a terrible signature on contracts. It’s embarrassing to sign my name next to his. Also, he has a terrible handicap even though he’s been golfing for at least seven or so years now,” he said as if that should be the reason that she could yell at him. He looked up and smiled at her because it was an attempt to make her laugh but didn’t seem to do the trick.

“He’s also really cranky when he doesn’t see you at night now,” this was much softer said. His voice quiet as he further explained this. “And he bothers me. Called me at one in the morning last night asking if I wanted a porch swing. Do you know he has an online shopping problem? It’s worst when he's upset. He panic-ordered three sets of dishware when you got burned,” he continued. Her heart fluttered at the mention of a porch swing. It shot through her like a bolt of electricity. That was because of her. She knew it. But Niall’s attempt still got him not even a smirk. “You should probably go after him,” he smiled at her sadly once more. “You need to talk to him.”

She shook her head. “He won’t forgive me.”

Niall rolled his eyes again. “Would you forgive him if this whole crazy scenario was reversed?”

She looked at her feet because she wouldn’t even need to forgive him. It would be a non-issue. “I see why Harry made you his sous-chef around here,” she muttered...because yes, of course she would. Probably before he even tried to apologize, at that.

“I knew there was a reason,” he winked at her. “Have a lovely weekend, darling,” he said going back to the documents on his desk.

“Are you sure?” She whispered after a moment.

“He loves you. I promise.”

“But all the other interns...the...companions. I’d be no different falling all over him.”

“He fell for you long before you did,” he told her simply.

She swallowed, blushing at the notion. Her stomach flipped with hope. “Do you know he went to the funeral?” She whispered.

Niall frowned because he didn’t know that, but he did know that had to hurt her. He looked back up to meet her gaze and he smiled gently at her. “Another reason you should yell at him.”

“You’re a really good friend, Niall,” she rolled her eyes.

“Can’t wait to be one of your best friends, love,” he winked.

She took one more deep breath, hurried over to Niall’s desk. She kissed his cheek as he worked. He smiled. “Sorry I’m taking your job,” she whispered to him.

He threw his head back a bit and laughed. “I’d like to see you try,” but he didn’t mind, really. It would be worth it to have her around.

The driver was waiting at the edge of the cemetery. She took her wedges off so she wouldn’t get them covered in dirt as she sat cross-legged on the ground. She fiddled with the flowers—Eleanor probably planted them. Or maybe even her mom. She was surprised because there weren’t as many weeds pushing through the ground as there should have been—especially when she took notice of the other stones nearby. “I think you’d really like him,” she whispered. Of course, there was no response. “Louis likes him,” she told him. “So...there’s that,” she shrugged. “And he has a porch swing,” she added. “We’re not even together and he still didn’t cheat on me, so he beat the last guy, y’know?” she smirked sadly. “I wish you could’ve met him...”

She paused, looking around the grounds for a moment before she continued. “If you look, you can see a car over there, yeah? That poor man has to follow me everywhere because Harry doesn’t want me to get stuck without a ride in inclement weather or something,” she whispered, smiled sadly. “I’m so in love with him, I swear I can feel it in the atoms of my heart,” her eyes watered. “I gave him all the money back. I want him to know that I’m not...I don’t want money. I just want him,” she told him. “I know you would probably hate the idea of me being in love with anyone...but at least I waited until college...poor El stuck with Louis for the rest of her life,” she sighed as if it really were a tragedy. But it wasn’t. She loved Eleanor and Louis so much.

“Niall said he’s really bad at golf though, so you could still make fun of him about something,” she let out a watery laugh. “I miss you...so much,” she whispered. “I hope Dad is happy again,” she glanced over at the nearby plot of land. “He missed you,” she sniffled. “We all miss you,” her voice cracked. “Okay...I’m gonna go grovel for forgiveness, now,” she said. “I’ll see you soon,” she kissed two of her fingers and pressed them over his name before getting off the ground, brushing the dirt off, and headed for the car.

“Are you alright, Miss?” He asked with the utmost concern. He was opening the door for her as she approached.

She nodded, sniffling, and wiping her eyes. “For now,” she sighed. “Can you bring me to Harry’s?” She asked.

Harry didn’t want to answer the door. But whoever was on the other side knocked, then rang the doorbell. Knocked again. Doorbell again. Persistent.

If it was Niall coming to console him, he was going to kill him, simple as that. “For fucks sake,” he grumbled marching to the door in an angry fit. “Niall, y’made me leave early, and I did. What d’you want?” He snapped loud enough to hear through the door before ripping it out of the way.

She flinched at his harsh tone. Her eyes were puffy and red. She looked so defeated as she turned her gaze to the ground. His heart hammered against his ribs in total shock that she was there. Left him utterly speechless. “I know this is stupid...” she started. “I’m sorry. It’s not enough because you deserve so much more than sorry. It’s never going to be enough, but I am so... very sorry. I was...” she shook her head. “It doesn’t matter what I was. What I said was so hurtful and so untrue. You have to believe that,” she was staring at her feet while she spoke. “Harry,” her voice cracked, and she was so worried it wasn’t enough. He didn’t make any noise and she was certain if he didn’t forgive her, she would die in that spot. “I know you didn’t mean anything by what you did other than to help me. But I don’t accept help very well... in case it wasn’t obvious. Especially when it comes to something like...my career or my...past,” she explained. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you; I shouldn’t have said such awful things and I would time travel back to that moment and slap myself for even thinking about speaking to you like that. It was horrible,” she shook her head. “I’ll beg every day for as long as you want if you’ll forgive me,” she whispered. “I am—”

Harry pulled her into his arms suddenly, one arm around her waist, the other snaking up her back to hold the back of her head. He clutched her against him as tightly as he could without hurting her or inhibiting her breathing. “You were already forgiven,” he murmured breathing deeply into her hair. He kissed the side of her face. She released a long breath and buried her face against the side of his neck.

“You shouldn’t give in so easily,” she sniffled clinging back to him like he was a buoy. Of course, he kept her afloat.

“I’ll yell at you later if that’ll make you feel better.”

She nodded. “It really would.”

He smiled, kissed the side of her head again. Harry wouldn’t yell at her if his life depended on it. “I jus’ want t’take care of you,” he promised. “That’s it.”

“I know, you told me that first day you messaged me.” He smirked thinking about how a year ago, she wasn’t in his mind at all. He didn’t even know she existed. Now, he thought about spending one second without her beside him and it seemed like full-blown torture. “Louis said I take care of everyone else because the last time someone cared about me, they died,” she said bluntly. “Seven years of therapy and Louis was the only one who said it,” she muttered. Harry was glad she was tucked below his chin because he couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. It was incredible she could make a joke in even the saddest of circumstances. She took a shivering, heaving breath. Harry tried to pull back so he could see her, but she squeezed him in place. Like she didn’t want to say it while looking at him. He nodded in encouragement for her to continue. “People will know if you hire me. You’d literally be making a position for me. And so… I thought if I got a job elsewhere... we could…” she swallowed the lump in her throat. She tucked her face deeper in his shoulder. “I…uh...”

He pulled back this time and didn’t stop when she tried to hold him in place. He pressed his hand to the side of her face and rubbed his thumb over her cheek. “Thought we could be a real couple?” He asked softly.

Her cheeks turned red as ever and she nodded. “Yes,” she whispered.

He didn’t pause for even half a second. He didn’t want her to make her feel embarrassed or worried about anything regarding their future. “Kitten, m’so in love with you, I don’t care if we tell the entire world. I don’t care if everyone knows or if no one knows. All that matters t’me is that I love you so much.”

Her eyes watered and her heart melted. She didn’t know how to tell him she loved him so much it hurt but he said it so beautifully and without a care. She didn’t know how to articulate it as perfectly as he did. “They should really put a warning on that site about how you may accidentally find your soul mate.”

He managed to smile this time for just a mere moment as she spoke; his heart skipped beats waiting for her to say she loved him back. While she didn’t say it exactly as he thought she would (but when did she ever do what he expected?), it was exactly what he wanted her to say and meant just as much if not even more.

Then he kissed her so deeply he thought he might bruise her lips. But if he did, he thought she might not even mind.

Harry lifted her legs, so they were wrapped around his hips. He carried her all the way to the kitchen, pausing only to kick the door closed. He settled her on the counter and started looking for some medicine. He didn’t ask if her head hurt because the redness in her eyes told him it was aching.

“You have t’take the money back,” Harry said leaning down to take her shoes off as she swallowed the medicine. He tossed them toward the TV room. “I shattered a lamp over it,” he stood back up and kissed her again on the forehead.

“Niall told me,” she smirked at him. He stood between her knees.

“Can’t have any secrets with him,” Harry muttered.

She giggled and Harry pressed his lips to hers again then pulled back so he could hold her face between his hands. He smiled at her with a shake of his head. “God, you’re beautiful,” he mumbled.

“Mm... the bloodshot eyes? The tired dark circles? The gray skin? That does it for you?”

“M-hmm,” he pressed his nose along the side of her face inhaling the mixture of her hair and soap. He didn’t cater to her insults to herself. “Take the money back,” he mumbled into her ear and pressed a series of kisses down the length of her neck. She shook her head trying to ignore the dizziness she felt from his lips on her skin. “Please kitten,” he was begging. Objectively, it was adorable. But she couldn’t accept it.

“Baby, you can’t pay me a salary, pay my student loans, and let me live here all—”

“You’re going t’live here?” He pulled back from her neck suddenly with a sparkle in his eyes that made it look like he was a little kid. Like it was Christmas, and he was getting the sled he asked for.

Her face was definitely not gray at that moment. She was completely blushing almost beyond recognition at her mistaken words. She shook her head quickly, trying to backtrack (uselessly). “No! I meant the apartment! I didn’t say that—”

“Please, please, please,” he now for sure, full-on begged. “Please live here, kitten.”

Her heart fluttered and she bit her lip trying to recover from how much she had revealed by accident. “Well...what am I supposed to do with all my great IKEA furniture?” She asked.

He rolled his eyes and pressed his face back into her neck. She wrapped her arms and legs around him clinging to him. “Throw it out, of course.”

“You’re so mean.”

He nodded against her and sighed, so happy she was there. So happy she was all his. “The meanest,” he assented. “Please live here,” he mumbled kissing the curve where her shoulder and neck met.

“You do have a porch swing,” she amended verbally but as if she were weighing the consideration in her head. His lips on her skin had such an effect on her it was hard to stand her ground or concentrate on joking around with him about the idea. “Speaking of—Niall told me you asked if he wanted one. Are you getting a new one or someth—what’s that?” She asked, glancing out the window as she spoke. She pushed him away immediately, rushing outside. She stood on his porch in total shock staring at his newest purchase before she turned back to him with a curious expression.

He followed behind her and stood in the doorway. “You said you would sleep out here if you could,” he shrugged. “I thought I’d make it possible...in case you ever came back.”

Where her favorite porch swing used to hang, was now a spacious, gorgeous, porch bed with so many pillows, so many blankets, and it nearly looked comfier than her lovely mattress back at the apartment. Her eyes watered and she swallowed so hard because she knew she had said that nearly three months ago in passing. And he remembered. So even when she wasn’t speaking to him, it was enough that he did something for her without knowing if she’d really be back. “You are something else, Harry.”

“Wait till y’see my new canopy bed,” he smirked feeling his cheeks warm at her compliment. Her heart nearly stopped because the canopy was mentioned almost nine months ago and the idea that he remembered anything from nine months ago was...well it was very Harry and very perfect.

“Baby, I love you and your impulse shopping so very much,” she whispered unable to look away from that beautiful reminder of how much he adored her. It made her feel so light that he cared for her so much. Now that he did, it was hard to imagine not feeling like this ever again.

Harry had other ideas though. He twisted her so quickly, her breath caught in her throat. He turned her back to face him and not the new bed. One arm wrapped around her waist, and he brought his other hand to her cheek in the one instant that she couldn’t even stumble because Harry had such a tight hold on her. He smiled at her, as if he was just told he won the lottery. Truly, he felt like he did. “Say it again,” he mumbled pressing his forehead to hers, his lips almost brushing hers as he spoke. She smiled shyly, the heat coming from her cheek warmed Harry’s hand.

“Say what? I love you?” She asked looping her arms loosely around his neck. He nodded silently and kissed the tip of her nose. “I love you,” she grinned so cutely Harry thought he would burst.

“Again,” he mumbled smiling as he carefully squeezed around her waist to lift her just so her toes hovered above the ground. She giggled.

“I love you.”

He kissed her left cheek. “More,” he inched toward the new outdoor bed.

“I love you,” she whispered, giggling more at his sweet request as he kissed her right cheek.

“Again,” he repeated.

“I love you, so, so much Harry Styles,” she whispered, holding his face between her hands, and Harry laid her back on the bed and kissed her again, fully on the lips with no intention of leaving that space for the rest of the weekend. Or until she asked to go see the canopy bed.

Whatever she wanted.

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