#i'm shiiiit at eating and it's not your job to make eat or anything
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I'm supposed to still be doing homework but I wanted to pause really quickly because I really think I might be getting better
I hit a wall last week (and hella actually really helped me, but I had to ignore her advice for a few days to see it) where I just kind of realized I don't actually do much to make myself feel better? And like. I want to be so specific that like. I'm feeling physically better these days so it's so much easier (not easy, mind you--I'm still in pain AND mental health is still making it hard, but it's easier)
But like I just had like three days in a row where I just tried to do homework in bed and instead I did NOTHING and I basically talked to no one and I was just making myself miserable and I was like. It's the end of the semester and at this point it's my fault I have so much work. So I need to make a different choice and do it. So I have?
And I spent HOURS doing work yesterday. And it wasn't perfect--I meant to go to an aquaintance's show and I didn't make it, but I did a bunch of work and got some late assignments turned in. And I'm still working today and it's fucking slow going. I thought I was gonna get through two modules (I don't call them that, god hella you've infected my brain) but I still have ten pages left of enlightened sexism (but my focus is a little shot at this point in the day. BECAUSE I SUDDENLY HAVE ENERGY?? like i'm gonna go put my laundry in and like. idk maybe even walk around a bit because i have energy. like not a lot. but for nearly 8pm at night? It's crazy.)
I just. I hope this is the iron and the medication change. Because I've been having such a rough go of it. But I think some of it has been me. I think I got really good at being sick and treating myself like I was sick and I'm not anymore.
Cause like when I was sick I let myself get away with all sorts of bullshit cause 'oh I can't, I don't feel well.'
But I'm getting better. So that means putting on my big person pants and doing shit. Even when it's hard.
#i went to bed really depressed last night#like just gave up on the day#and it honestly was just cause i hadn't eaten#and i think that's my newest goal is just making sure i eat#oh fuck jack we need to talk about that at some point for study abroad#i'm shiiiit at eating and it's not your job to make eat or anything#(can you imagine if i was like haha it's your problem and in tumblr post no less)#but if you happen to see this. at some point i just would love to have a convo about if you'd be willing to just like. make sure i'm intaki#food? and like if i suddenly become uncharacteristically rude? it's 99% of the time going to be because i'm hangry#i was gonna be like 'oh no what if i can't get safe foods'#but we're going to italy and like. pasta is a safe food for me. so i think i'll be good.#(i may end up stressed out by how fancily they make it because it has been pointed out to me that my preferred way of having it 'butter and#cheese' is essentially just buttered noodles but like i also like alfredo so it's fine#anyway i just wasted the last ten minutes of my study time so now it's break time!!#yay laundry time#life of a boomerang
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L*ne St*r Hate Watch - 3x06
Disclaimer: Keep on scrolling if you love the show my dude, and have a great day!
Eddie Diaz just because:
One minute in and I'm already bored
"I will not leave you hanging again" – I bet he leaves her hanging again
He did.
And right into the barbed wire fence, yikes
Brianna is way too nice to this guy and honestly he does not deserve a second chance
He is well caught up on that fence. I knew a girl in high school once who ripped her arm open on a barbed wire fence; she had a wicked scar.
The guy's hung up on the fence and all Owen cares about is the aliens
"cobalts"?????? is owen for fucking real
Lucky for this guy, chicks dig scars
Owen Strand believes in aliens and I'm… okay. I guess we're doing this.
I'm still not thrilled about Judd's secret child
"growing up without a father, that must've given him some scars" – Judd, I love you, but people grow up in this world without fathers all the time
My friend is singlehandedly raising her two children and they are fine.
Oh no Wyatt's a vegetarian
DISOWN HIM
HE'S VEGAN
DOUBLE DISOWN HIM
Judd is trying so hard and it's not his fault this kid sucks. And I mean that in the nicest way possible but I'm very much team Judd here
"making TikToks" oh Juddy
"I'm sorry I'm kinda weird" no actually you're pretty normal, dude. Magic the Gathering is not that niche anymore
Ghostbusters is not scary, kids, I was watching it when I was like four years old and I was the most scared kid of literally everything
Kids these days just don't appreciate fine art anymore
Rob Lowe's hair looks like a wig
"It's 8am, I'm not a psychopath" – agree to disagree there, Owen
"What's going on?" "Well Cap, my newly discovered son and I have zero in common and because you're the biggest wanker – I mean most worldly guy I know, I'm going to need you to talk to him about all this weird stuff he's into"
Genuinely, I am concerned about Rob Lowe's hair in this scene because it looks fucking awful
"Hard learned knowledge about raising a young man" – Owen, you are the man who literally forgot that your son existed when you thought you might be having another baby. And you said that in front of him
I'd argue you didn't do that great of a job, pal
I am nearly 15 minutes in without seeing TK though so that's not a bad thing
Owen has "alien hunting gear" – he really fancies himself to be Fox Mulder, doesn't he?
Okay ngl I stopped watching for a few minutes and then someone started screaming so I came back and a lady has a tapeworm hanging out her nose
And unfortunately TK is now in it
Remember when Eddie and Hen plucked worms out of that lady's eyes and Eddie knew all those facts? Good times
This lady has a lot of worms inside her
TK's acting is particularly bad in this scene
This episode is dumb and I'm bored
Like I can't? Like… now Owen is suddenly involved in Judd's parenting storyline? And he didn't have to be?
Because literally no storyline in this show can exist without Rob Lowe being involved in it
Wyatt's kind of a drip
Judd is me in this entire scene
Simply baffled by vegans – like, good for you, but Imma eat some KFC
At least Owen isn't wrapped up in Tommy's storyline, I guess that's a good thing
"are you sure you're okay Dad?" TK asks in a monotone
Sorry I'm so bored that I haven't really been typing anything. There's some kind of radiation thing going on in the woods and I'm bored by it
I was sitting here thinking how much I miss Eddie Diaz so that's something
Remember the crossover when he was the hottest thing that's ever happened in the history of television? Yeah, me too
What the fuck is going on out here in these radiated woods?
Ohhhh they're scavengers and they scavenged a radioactive thing
And they just cracked open a glowing radiation thing with a hammer, shiiiit
Horrible, painful way to die guys, jeez, holy shit
AND THEY'RE SELLING THE RADIOACTIVE STUFF AT A FLEA MARKET WTF
Oh shiiiit these guys, at no point did they look at this glowing blue powder and think, "hey, why is this powder glowing blue?"
Grace is going to reach through the phone and strangle this guy
Grace is going to make a TikTok out of the call GOD DAMN
She is terrifying and I love her so much
This poor lady picked out a nice necklace for her mother and inadvertently exposed the whole family to radiation, that's going to be quite the story at every single family gathering for the rest of her life
Judd is trying so hard
Okay I'm coming around on Wyatt now
"I always wanted to go camping with my dad" – way to win me over, Wyatt
This episode was... dumb but fine? Like, I'm really only invested in Judd and Grace's storyline at this point and everything else is pretty boring.
It's not the best episode but it's not the worst. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Eddie Diaz always and forever:
God I love this goofball so much
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