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#i'm really bad at taking tests for my characters
moregraceful · 1 month
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yet another writing ask: 23 and 32 if you would like to <3
Thank you 🙇🙇
23. Dialogue or description? Why is the other one so hard?
GOD. Dialogue is so hard. I get soooo stressed in rpf bc I often want or am including multi-lingual players who do not speak like a generic Californian, and I get real in my head about like...capturing that authentically and sensitively. Like description is easier to deploy meaningfully and if I fuck it up, I find that way more forgivable in myself than like writing a multilingual player and accidentally leaning into stereotypes about speech patterns or ways of expression that aren't True To Nature. and like to be clear this is specifically about non-Canadian/American players, like if I fuck up some American NCAA white jock who gives a shit but if I leaned to stereotypes about like how idk Russians speak, I would just die. and I have done this!!! I look back at some of my old sidgeno works and I'm like this is unforgiveable lol.
I'm poking at a concept with Radim Šimek, who is from Czechia, and I'm stressing sooo bad about his speech patterns and how he expresses himself in interviews vs teammates, particularly after I noticed how obvious it is that he learned in English in the Bay Area, which is not like...a particularly unique version of English, but I've noticed that sometimes the way Bay Area ppl inflect words is absolutely deranged. and like how does that affect how you express yourself yk, and like I'm basing all of this off getting lectured for being lazy in five years of French classes in high school and college, which is not even remotely the same thing
Also. At least once per fic, I have to go through a delete an instance of "hella". That man from Ontario would not fucking say "hella".
32. Do you have a word/expression that you always use in your writing?
Well I absolutely overuse "like" in speech which is what happens when you grow up in California and write primarily in a fandom of white jocks. Also tend to use "sounding strangled" with regularity, but I have never been able to figure out how to execute that specific emotion any other way (I have not tried very hard)
Thank you!!!
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No Struggling - OP81
Summary: Y/n worries about her boyfriend after the Qatar race seems to have quite literally burned him out.
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The race was good to watch, there's no denying it was a good race. But the state of the drivers, it was worrying and while y/n has concern for others. Oscar is a rookie and this sort of endurance is testing to the best on the grid, she really just felt panic.
Logan couldn't even get through the whole race, Oscar may be considered the better rookie but he's still young and seeing him sitting down clearly worn down.
Y/n can't stop her worrying.
Once he's off the podium the drivers are given the ok for the debrief to be held in the morning. Both drivers need a quick cool down and then rest. Top priorities are rehydration and just making that they are actually ok.
"Hey." Oscar breathes, managing a very weak smile when he sees his girlfriend appear, the concern readable on her face without a word needed. "I'm alright. You don't need to look so scared."
"Not that easy." Y/n sighs before she looks at him for a moment. "You were amazing, genuinely I'm so proud of you."
"Thank you." Oscar smiles softly then leaning back in the cool water. "Do you want to go wait for me? You can drive us?"
"Yeah, no problem." Y/n nods with a soft smile before she tilts her head for a moment. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"And you're sure you're ok?"
"They're having everyone go to the medical centre. That's why I'm saying you go ahead and wait, I'll see you soon."
Y/n sighs looking at Oscar for a moment before she nods and moves quickly.
-
Oscar doesn't say much on the drive to the hotel, though even in his dipping in and out of consciousness, he notices that y/n is oddly quiet. She usually balance out his quietness with her talking and rambling to fill the void quiet.
"Alright, we're here." Y/n yawns as they pull up to the hotel and she parks up. "Are you ok?"
"Baby, I promise you. I'm good. Just need sleep and I wouldn't mind if you just stopped fussing and would lie down with me when we get into the hotel room."
"I need to shower..."
"No. You can shower tomorrow. I just need you right now." Oscar states, never enjoying the idea that he might sound needy but sometimes he doesn't have the energy and maybe being coddled by his girlfriend and smothered in a cuddle with her doesn't sound so bad.
Y/n's concern increases knowing this is out of character for Oscar but she doesn't voice anything instead just leaning over and kissing him. Then rushing to get out, grabbing the bags and slapping away any attempt from her boyfriend to take it them from her.
"You're exhausted, just let me carry them." Y/n rambles then managing to grab Oscar's hard, pulling him with her as she rushes to get up to their room.
When they get to the room she dumps the bags down and mumbles for Oscar to quickly brush his teeth while she's going to get changed. There's a rush through their nighttime routines before Oscar flops down in the bed, lying on his stomach while she smiles.
"Y/n, please!" Oscar groans making her rush to appear a lot more quickly.
"Sorry, I found a bad knot in my hair." Y/n sighs lying down beside him only to jump when he throws is arm out and pulls her over the sheets till she's lying where he can nuzzle her face into her stomach.
It takes all of a few seconds for Oscar to completely passes out and really with the heat radiating from him y/n is pretty much knocked out too. He might have cooled down and the room might have air conditioning but his body runs hot and she is asleep within minutes after feeling steady breaths and heavy both relaxing down on her.
Morning comes around and then both sleep through it, long into the afternoon as they ignore distant knocking on the door, phone calls and messages asking where Oscar is are sent to both of them before eventually none other than Mark Webber breaks in and while y/n jumps awake, she's still completely pinned under Oscar's body weight.
"At least the two of you aren't dead." Mark comments making her groan since Oscar's deadweight isn't easy to sift.
"Oscar, wake up. Mark just broke it." Y/n grunts earning a heavy huff before she sighs softly then finally being rolled off of and while he boyfriend slowly wakes up she sits up looking at Mark. "What time is it?"
"Nearly 3. You slept through the debrief, slept through I think nearly 500 calls from everyone collectively. There's probably over 1000 messages that you both have asking where the hell you are." Mark states as Oscar groans since just knowing he's in the shit. "Don't worry, everyone saw you looked like you were struggling Andrea said that the debrief can happen another time. Really I just wanted to make sure there wasn't a hospital visit no one knew was happening."
"I wasn't struggling." Oscar grumbles making his manager and girlfriend exchange a look since y/n thought Oscar was very obviously struggling with the heat post-race.
"Anyway, you two do need to actually leave soon. You do have a flight."
"Thank you." Y/n smiles earning a nod as the older man exits, feeling confident that the two won't be just falling asleep again and having to pay for an extra night in the hotel. Even though they're already late for check out.
So after he's gone, y/n moves around quickly not pushing for Oscar to be on the move too much since she still honestly thinks the man needs some serious recovery time. Luckily there's time between now and the COTA race so she is trying to make sure he's not using unnecessary energy.
"Ok, baby. Time to go." Y/n smiles lightly as she looks at him, offering her hand out as he sits on the edge of the bed. "Don't worry, I'll look after you."
Oscar knows that when she says that, she means it. There's no doubt that she is absolutely going to take care of him till she decides he's back to a full bill of health. He can sit and tell her that he's just fine but she won't believe him if it looks like otherwise.
He smiles as he links his hand to her own and they get out of there.
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yuugen-benni · 5 months
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''...Excuse me ?''
Prompt: Getting hit on in front of your lover Fandom: Bungou Stray dogs and Genshin Impact Characters: Ayatsuji Yukito, Fyodor, Dazai - Freminet, Wanderer, Dehya Gn!Reader (They/them)
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Ayatsuji Yukito: I feel sorry for anyone who likes jealous boyfriends because Ayatsuji is not one. While a random man is hitting on you, he will literally be standing next to you, as if testing to see if the man will realize that he is your lover. But this obviously failed. Ayatsuji is now staring at the man, raising an eyebrow and you can tell he is mentally cursing the man in a clever way. If the person gets too close, or does something that makes you even more uncomfortable, he pokes the tip, still hot, of the kiseru pipe on their forehead and push them back.
''How long will I have to listen to this ?...*sigh*... Sir, use your last remaining neuron to realize that: they're with me''
Fyodor: He laughs…HE LAUGHS. Fyodor is surprised, that you got hit? Maybe, but he's actually surprised by the man's boldness. I mean...he is scary, he exudes death so if someone is by his side it is either his partner in crime or maybe his lover.
When the ''conversation'' becomes more suggestive, he decides not to watch the show anymore and literally just take you out of there.
''It was really fun to watch, but now leave my lover alone if you don't want your heart to stop beating''
Dazai: He's a son of a b!tch, but a lovable one. Dazai will act like he's just a friend and started telling the guy about you (or rather, lie about you to protect your privacy) pretending to help the guy hit on you. Yes, he's just taking advantage of the situation; BUT YES, Dazai is also protecting you so don't be mad at him. At the end of all this performance, he will play his final card: ''They're great people, aren't they? Having them as a lover must be wonderful and guess what? They are my partner!''
-
Freminet: Poor thing, he doesn't know what to do! Does he explain?, Does he just push the guy?, Does he grab your hand and run away??? I believe the last option is more effective. Freminet isn't even used to talking to strangers, let alone someone hitting on his lover. But he tries, he tries hard. And when the guy becomes more invasive, he acts on impulse and pushes you to his side.
''...O-okay, I'm sorry but- you're being extremely disrespectful with my partner''
Wanderer/Scaramouche: This little man here is trying not to beat the ass of the person who is hitting on you. He's holding on so tight that his fists are white. But, as always, Wanderer pretends he's not jealous and then lets you handle the situation… before he does something he shouldn't-- but if the person is very insistent on ''having your heart'' he will definitely do something he shouldn't. He will use words… bad, horrible words or even opt for physical aggression... well you at least are safe now.
Dehya: This is a somewhat unlikely event because once you are under her gaze, nothing bad will happen to you. But, maybe, at some point when you two are shopping, and you end up distancing yourself a little, it can happen. She's prepared… a little too much, but she won't hesitate to confront the guy/girl who has started to make you uncomfortable. At this point, she won't even care if she's being overprotective or not, as long as you're okay.
''Are you blind or something? Can't you see that they're not interested ?''
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charlie-lec-stories · 3 months
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A lovely mess // CL16
Pairing: Charles Leclerc / Original Female Character
Summary: Four times Charles overreacted to becoming a father and one he actually failed to react. Or Charles being a mess through the best and most scary adventure of his life.
Warnings: None, this is pure wholesomeness.
Author’s Note: This one was inspired by some stories my own dad and uncle told me about the times they had their first children. Yes, some of those stories are based on things my father did when him and my mom were expecting me hahahaha. Rate: PG
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Every man reacts differently to pregnancy, but the most common response is just simply becoming a mess of a human being. And because of that, Charles, for once in his life, could be considerer an average man. He had been exceptional his whole life: excellent student at school, talented in arts, languages and sports, remarkable people skills and loved by everyone. People assumed that he was going to be an exceptional father too, and he knew he was committed to the role since day one, but none of that made the experience less scary. The monegasque had always want kids, he had always pictured himself growing old with a woman he loved and raising a bunch of little humans. When he knocked up his girlfriend he was definitely not planning on becoming a father so soon in his life, but he was happy nonetheless. His history with his girlfriend was kind of complicated too, her family didn't like him much, or more precisely the fact that Charles' job made her travel around the globe, away from her family all the time. He knew that he loved her more than he had ever loved anyone in his life, he knew that every time he pictured himself in the future, that future was shared with her, but it would be a lie if he'd say that the pregnancy didn't complicate things. His in-laws weren't too happy when they found out and Charles' mother was kind of worried about the whole situation. But Charles and his girl loved that little "accident" more than life itself and they actually never cared too much about anyone else's opinions. He convinced his girlfriend to move in with him and she also agreed on keep traveling with him until she ultimately had to stay home for the baby's safety.
"Is six weeks really that bad, Amour? I mean, maybe you're jet lagged or something". Charles nervously wondered from sitting at the bottom of the bed, his girl anxiously pacing around the room.
"That's not how periods work, Charlie". She was trying to stay calm and not bark at him, but that was a difficult task.
"Then let's buy a test and find out". He got up and started walking to the door when she grabbed his arm.
"Wait! You can't just go to a pharmacy and buy a test!". She looked at him like he was insane.
"Why not?". If there was someone humble enough to always forget he's rich and famous, that was Charles.
"Because you're Charles fucking Leclerc, that's why!". She let go of his arm and ran her hand down her face, exasperated. "The press is going to have a field day if you do that".
"Shit, you're right". He sighed and his shoulders sunk. He could see her shaking, scared and stressed and all he wanted to do was give her answers so she could get some peace of mind. "I'm sorry, Amour, I just don't know what to do".
"Let's call Lorenzo, maybe Charlotte can buy it for us".
He watched her take care of everything: call his brother, open the door for him and Charlotte, explain the situation, decide over test brands with his sister in law, drink loads of water, all while he sat on the couch, his mind running faster than he had ever drove his Ferrari. How could she think so clearly even with how scared she was? What would he do if the test was positive? What if she didn't want to keep the baby? Why was he feeling so sad with the mere idea of the test turning up negative? Was he really ready to be a father? There were so many questions and so little answers. He could hear Charlotte walk out the door and his girlfriend go their room, he clearly felt his older brother sit by his side on the couch, but he just couldn't move. Lorenzo said something Charles never caught, too drown inside his own head.
"I really want this baby, Enzo". Was all he let out and his brother just squeezed his shoulder.
Charlotte came back pretty fast, a paper bag with at least five different tests for his girl to do. The older woman explained the younger which ones were more effective so they could compare the results later. The possible future mother lock herself into the bathroom while the other three waited outside. Charles felt like he waited for an eternity before she came out with the five little white sticks. She placed them over a napkin on the coffee table and Lorenzo set the timer. Now, they had to wait again. She was sitting on the same couch he was before, looking at everything but the tests in front of her, so he sat down and took her hand in his, hoping for the contact to be enough to ease her thoughts. He wasn't exactly the epitome of calmness and the sweat that covered his hand made it hard to grip at. She looked at him and smiled, she knew that he was going to be there for them, no matter what, but she was still scared of what he would think, she still needed to know if he really wanted this. Still, she refrained from asking and simply rested her head on his shoulder, searching for comfort on his scent. She had her eyes closed when she suddenly flew to the other side of the couch while Charles' loud yelp filled her ears.
"What the fuck was that?". She looked around, trying to find what could have startled him so much to trow her like that, but all she could see was Charles clumsily trying to grab one of the tests while his feet barely kept him up. She had never seen him so uncoordinated in the two years they had been together. His fingers had a mind of their own and his legs were trembling.
"Two lines, this one has two lines". Charles, who had been quiet and petrified for the past hour, was mumbling like a madman as he showed his brother one of the tests. In the background, the alarm set by Lorenzo started ringing and they all looked down at the coffee table, searching for the lines of truth. Charles grabbed the the tests smiling wide as he showed them to the others. "THEY ALL HAVE TWO LINES". He was hyperventilating, his whole body shaking and Lorenzo couldn't help but let out his loudest laugh as he watched his younger brother loose the little bits of sanity he had. "CAN YOU SEE IT, BABY?!". He shoved the sticks into his girlfriend's face. "It's a baby! We made a baby! Putain de merde! I'm going to be a Papa!".
"Yes, Charlie! I see it!". She said sharing his enthusiasm. But then she saw him go pale really fast. He walked backwards a few steps and Lorenzo caught him from behind before he could fall butt first on the ground.
"Okay, I think you need to process this rollercoaster of emotions while sitting on the couch, Cha". The older Leclerc helped his bother to sit down next to the now confirmed future mama. There, Charles took her hand and smiled, a high-like expression covering his eyes. He may be scared, but he had never been happier.
If Charles' reaction to the pregnancy was that chaotic, it was a sure thing that the following nine months would be as well. Before the first trimester was up, he had already brought another house to move to, where the baby could have their own room and a playroom. He brought every piece of Ferrari merchandizing he could find on the internet, he didn't even care if it was original or not. Was it pretty? Yes. Was it Ferrari? Yes. Then he was buying it. His girlfriend even went to the extent of taking away his cards and threatened with getting rid of wifi to make him stop. He didn't, took her extension in the middle of the night and kept binge-shopping for his baby at 4 am. He brought furniture for the bedroom and the playroom, and then he found his biggest rival till the day. A rival he wanted to beat more than Max Verstappen: a crib. She wasn't even showing and he was already putting a crib together, or let's rephrase it, fighting with the crib and losing pathetically.
"Cela n'a aucun sens". (This makes no sense). He complained while he tried to attach what was supposed to be 'Part B' to 'Part 3.1'. Why there was a part 3.1, he didn't know and was too stress out to try and figure it out. He growled, he literally growled when the whole crib came crushing down in front of him. "Je déteste cette merde". (I hate this shit).
"Charlie? What's wrong? I heard a loud noise". He looked at the mother of his child and all he could feel was embarrassment. "Are you alright?".
"Yes. I'm fine". He answered from the floor, looking at his lap. He wanted to cry, but he also didn't want to upset her.
"Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?". She sat next to him on the floor and searched for his eyes, but he kept looking away from her. "What is it, Charles?".
"I-". He tried to start talking, but he was cut off by his own sob. She quickly made him turn towards her, looking for injuries, but he seemed to be physically fine. She saw the tears running down his face and did the best she could to wipe the away. Moving to sit on his lap, she threw her arms around his neck and pressed herself flat against him, trying to get as close as she could. He cried on her shoulder, soaking her his hoodie and crushing her with his arms around her waist. They stayed like that for a while, until Charles stopped crying. She scratched his head to calm him down and after some time, he did. In a painfully soft whisper, he admitted his fear to her. "I'm going to be a terrible Papa".
"Don't say that. We both know that's not true". Shushing him, she pulled away and grabbed his face, forcing him to look at her. "Is this about the crib?".
"I've been fighting this crib for four days. Our baby is going to sleep on the floor and it's all my fault". She laughed and for a moment, she regretted it, seeing the hurt in his eyes. She calmed down and pecked his lips.
"Charlie, our baby has barely formed their ears yet, you have more than enough time to figure this out". He didn't look convinced at all.
"But what if I don't?". She smiled at him.
"I know you will. Do you want to know why?". He nodded and she ran her fingers through his hair to move it away from his face, so they could look into each others eyes and make him believe her. "Because you already are the best Papa in the world, Charles".
He won against the crib just in time to catch up with the worst part of the cravings period. They were into the fourth month of pregnancy and the little bump was proudly starting to show. Charles couldn't keep his hands away from it. He was constantly touching the bump, kissing the bump, talking to the bump, even scolding the bump whenever he saw some discomfort tinting his girlfriend's face. In the paddock he practically forced her to go everywhere with him and on interviews he answered every question while looking at her. He insisted on people staying at least ten centimeters away from her and he even took upon himself the task of preparing every meal she ate, just to make sure that it was safe and she didn't get food poisoned. He checked places' and foods' temperatures, chairs' and couches' safety, if her shoes were properly tied (at least 20 times a day), the only thing missing was him wrapping her on bobble wrapping. He safety proofed the every hotel room they stayed in so she wouldn't 'accidentally hit the bump against unknown furniture in the dark'. At some point, she had to put a stop to the madness, specially when Charles' newly-daddy paranoia messed with her cravings.
"Amour, what are you eating?". He asked when he caught her hiding with Lando and Max behind the Red Bull garage, a massive greasy half eaten hot dog on her hands. Lando was opening a mayonnaise sachet with his teeth and Max was feeding her french fries with his bare hands, all three of them sitting on the floor. It wasn't exactly the most sanitary situation, but the fuzzy feeling she felt inside her chest thanks to that hot dog made it all worth it. Charles could swear he had an aneurysm just by the sight of it all. "Where did you get that?".
"Uhm...". Her and Lando looked at Max, waiting for him to answer, since he was the one who brought it.
"Well... It's from a professional, I can assure you that, Charles". The monegasque frowned and Max swallowed, scared, just to find out his mouth was completely dry. He wasn't an easily scared guy, but something about Charles' over-protective-dad mood just terrified him.
"And where's the professional's place? Can you show me?". Max, still sitting on the floor, looked at everything but Charles.
"Oh, you see-".
"It's from the stand outside of the paddock". Lando blurted out, followed by him covering his mouth with both his hands and the three of them heard Charles growl.
"Max did you just feed my pregnant girlfriend a hot dog from a dirty street-stand? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THE PERSON WASHES THEIR HANDS-"
"They definitely don't, I mean, they don't have where to".
"Lando, you're not helping me, mate". Max advised, not moving his eyes from the fuming Charles above him. Then the pregnant girl decided to intervene.
"Charlie, babe, it's okay. I asked him to buy it for me". Charles then looked at her, his gaze softening a little, but still angry.
"Amour, you know that's not good for you". He walked to her and hooked his arms under hers to help her off the floor.
"But the baby wanted it". Max still followed Charles, afraid of what the future father could do to him for messing with his unborn baby's diet. Lando stayed very still, hoping to make himself invisible. "I was just craving this so bad! And you never let me have this type of food. The baby is fine, I promise".
"Don't do that face, it's not fair". He complained when she gave him her best puppy eyes. She didn't stop, and he finally dropped the attitude. "Okay, maybe we can make some room for a hot dog once in a while. But you have to keep eating healthy, we don't want the little Tifosi to come out malnourished".
"Yay!". She squealed and hugged him tight, the hot dog almost falling from her hand. Charles hugged her back and then directed his gaze towards the other two drivers.
"And you two". Max and Lando looked at him wide-eyed. "This better be the last time you pull off something like this. Did I make myself clear?".
"Yes, sir". Both said at the same time and got up from the floor.
"Okay, go on. And think about what you did". They nodded their heads, Max handing the girl the fries and then walking away with Lando.
"I like you daddy-voice". Charles shrugged at her comment.
"Amour, don't call it that or I won't be able to use it without laughing".
Charles' paranoia got better. He calmed down a little, but then the fear of being a bad father came back. Around the seventh month, already knowing they were having a boy, Charles found himself with insomniac. At the beginning of the pregnancy he was scared of not knowing what to do to take care of a baby's basic needs: bottle feed, change diapers, help him to sleep, and things like that. But as the date of the delivery got closer, Charles' fears shifted to the more existential type. What if he was unable to guide his son through life? What if he failed on teaching him good values and a strong sense of ethics? What if he ended up raising a spoiled kid, arrogant and narcissistic? What if he couldn't make his boy happy? What if his kid hated him? Those questions kept him up at night, turning over and over on the bed, and cold sweat covering his body. He would walk to the baby's room and look at the painting his girlfriend did on the walls, the name 'Jules' written on lilac on a clear sky, over the race track so carefully crafted. What if his son didn't want to race cars? What if he was forcing him to do so when he wasn't even born? Sitting on the rocking chair, he would look out the window, the yachts at the bay clearly visible from there. What if his son didn't like Monaco? What if his son would rather adopt his mother's nationality and culture over his? The dark sky adorned with shinny little dots would look back at him without answers.
"Charlie? Why are you up, love?". He heard his girl's sleepy voice call out to him from the doorway. He smiled at her, his eyes glossy as he fought the tears that wanted to escape.
"Just thinking, Amour. Don't worry". He gave her his best smile, but she could read his real feelings underneath it. "Go back to bed, I'll join you in a minute".
"I think we love each other enough to cut the bullshit, babe". She walked further into the room and stopped in front of him, her big belly at his face's height, and he couldn't help but reach forward and kiss it. "What is it?"
"It's... it's just a lot and it's late. Don't worry, really-"
"Charles, I'm not sleeping until I'm convinced that you're alright". He sighed, and pulled her to his lap. The weight was a little bit more than what he was used to, but he loved that, it made it impossible for him to overlook the fact that his baby was there, with them. He made her rest her back against his chest and rocked he chair, hugging her tight against him and resting his chin over her shoulder. They both looked out of the window and she patiently waited for him to tell her what was going on inside his mind.
"I'm scared. I feel this huge responsibility over Jules". She smiled, loving whenever they talked about their baby using the name they choose for him. "I just want to be a good Papa, but I'm so scared of messing up, of making the wrong choices, of using the wrong words, of leading him in the wrong direction. What if I don't raise him right? If I'm not a good role model?"
"Well, you're not alone in this, Charlie, I'm with you till the end of the line. Like Bucky and Steve. I know that we'll be alright. I just know it". She sounded so sure of herself. He wished he could be that sure about everything.
"How do you do it? How do you manage to always be so sure and composed?". She laughed and he felt the baby kick under his palm, he always kicked when she laughed.
"I've been the least composed person and you know it, Charlie! I break down crying at least five times a day. You've seen that! You're the one who comforts me every time". He laughed softly, that was true, those had been some pretty crazy seven months. A true rollercoaster of emotions. And they still had two more months to go. "I know that we'll be alright because we're already asking ourselves these questions. Because we care about Jules so much that we truly take time to think things through. We are going to be alright because we love our baby and we both know we will always do the best we can for him. We won't let the bad choices from our parents be repeated and we'll make sure to copy the best from them to give to Jules. That's why I'm so sure". She turned to look at him for a moment. "I trust you to be the dad of my baby because I know how great of a human being you are, Charles".
"I love you". He said, feeling a lot better. He kissed her tenderly, and then another kick was felt under his hand. "Thanks for being here for me, Amour".
"Always, just as you had always been for me". She nuzzled her nose against his. Another kick and they both laughed. "Let's go back to bed, Papa".
The two months passed by in a blink. Charles asked Ferrari to give him a leave of absence for the first two races of the season. He wanted to be world champion, but he would rather be there when his son was born. Ferrari let him take his time, but Jules decided to be born at eight and a half months. It seemed like he couldn't wait to meet his parents, because everything happened so fast that Charles had barely had any time to react. They were having lunch at his mother's house, and he was having the best time. His girl looked amazing, all radiant and happy, her belly covered by a cute but comfortable dress, his sisters in law both touching the belly and fighting for godmother duties. Lorenzo and Charlotte were definitely the chosen ones, but they hadn't tell anyone yet, after all both Lorenzo and Charlotte were there for them when they needed them. His mother was showing him little clothes that she had crocheted for Jules and his brothers discussing which one was going to be the 'responsible uncle' and who the 'funcle'. Arthur was definitely unable to be the responsible one, so he was already chosen to be the 'funcle'. Every conversation was cut short when the faint voice of the future mama rang through the air.
"Charlie". Her shaken voice called out, and he turned around to see what she needed. There was a wet patch under her and she was grabbing her belly, a painful expression on her face. "I think my water broke".
"The baby is coming!". Arthur shouted excitedly, but Charles' brain just stopped functioning. He saw everyone running around to grab things, Charlotte and Carla helping his girl out of the house and towards his car, Lorenzo grabbing the baby bag the carried around just in case since the beginning of the last trimester, Arthur pushing him outside and his mother speaking, but he just couldn't move. H was petrified. He felt like his blood pressure had dropped in a second and if it wasn't for Arthur behind him, he would have certainly fallen to the ground. His mother took his car keys out of his pocket and then they pushed him on the back seat, next to his girlfriend. Her hand crushing his brought him back from his outer-body state and he was able to react, turning to face her and running his other hand down her arm, doing his best to sooth her.
"It's okay, mon amour. Breath, breath with me". He instructed her and he started to exaggerate his breathing so she could copy her. She did and that calmed her down enough to count the seconds between one contraction and the next. "That's it, Amour, you're doing so good". He praised her and she smiled a little, her happy expression cut short by another waive of pain. She screamed and cried, sweat covering her forehead and running down her face, mixing with her tears. It was probably the most messy she had ever looked, but he had never seen her as beautiful as in that moment. "I love you so much". He whispered it, but by the squeeze she gave to his hand, he knew for sure she was saying it back. "We're almost there, hung on a little longer".
He almost carried her out of the car and into the hospital the second Arthur parked the car. Then, they found out that she was ready to deliver in that second. Jules didn't want them to keep him waiting, she was brought to the delivery room and Charles was given surgical gown so he could join her. Inside, the whole process was quick, in 30 minutes, Jules was crying on the doctors arms and Charles could feel his heart skip a beat. Wrapped on towel and with the small hat they had for him on, Jules was passed on to his mother, who took him instantly while she cried her eyes out. Charles, still on delay with reality, was trying to process the information. That was his baby, he was finally there, he could finally touch him. The doctor walked to him, placing a hand on his shoulder, Charles couldn't stop looking at his girl and little Jules. He heard a softly "go ahead, meet your boy", and that was enough for him to place a shaking and gentle hand on Jules' head. He ran his thumb over the soft little cheek and the tears started to fall. He felt his girl's hand wipe away his tears and heard her laugh softly. She just found funny that after overreacting about every little thing for the past eight months, Charles was barely able to react that day. He was a mess in that moment, but he was the perfect mess in her eyes. The most extraordinary mess. He finally smiled and reached down to kiss her head, then he looked at Jules.
"I am your Papa, Jules. I love you. I'm so happy to finally meet you".
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I hope you guys liked this one!
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impishjesters · 5 months
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Agents of Cat-astrophe
warning(s): none unless you count Jax note(s): This gave me a good chuckle as someone who's consistently dropping more curse words than regular words, I'd imagine the system to just censor anything and everything that comes out of my mouth at that point. A/N: (In response to the requester) I wish I was taking breaks (I mean I am sorta), I'm fully aware I'm running myself ragged right now. But it's hard for me to stop myself... I'm caffeinated and chaotic and I don't wanna stew in my brain for too long. At least I get up and stretch every now and then. Request: Anyways, I’m requesting a Jax x reader (crushing stage) where the reader is sorta at the same level of meanness as Jax and likes to do pranks with him on the other characters. Also the reader’s digital form is a short cat that at first glance makes them look nice/friendly (obviously not an actual cat but yk what I mean), and they have a sailor’s mouth that is unfortunately censored but that doesn’t stop them (can also purr and does so when they’re content which is usually when there chilling in Jax’s room or with Jax in general). I think it would be fun if the reader surprisingly was sorta nicer to Kinger and has a small soft spot for him and does more playful pranks on him than mean/harmful ones.
When you first showed up, you looked so small and frail, like a literal little kitten completely out of place in this big colourful nightmare world
Ragatha thought you’d be like Pomni, and boy howdy was she wrong
You just ended up being another Jax—who you later met and found out was also an agent of chaos
Similarly to Pomni you cursed up a storm when you first arrived and the endless censorship that came with it
You have a knack for testing Caine’s patience when it comes to your sailor’s mouth, much to Jax’s entertainment. It’s not every day Caine loses his cool like that and you’re just a newbie, needless to say, you caught his interest
That sailor’s mouth also gets used towards the other’s and Jax won’t lie and say it’s not funny because shit’s hilarious.
Sure they all curse from time to time, but you just laid out an entire sentence that was completely and utterly censored. Like the system said “fuck this I’m gonna censor the whole damn sentence”
Unlike Jax who doesn’t show any remorse for who he pranks or how cruel they are, you draw the line at messing with Kinger.
Okay, that’s a lie you still mess with him but it’s not like how you mess with the others. Kinger has this sweet unstable dad/grandpa vibe and it kind of makes the place more homey in a weird way. (plus that man has been through enough trauma, give him a break, and talk about his bug collections or some shit)
The upside is that his mind is so scattered sometimes that using the same pranks on him always results in something hilarious. So you really don’t need to try for any new material. (he also really needs to consider actually using the lock on his door, he makes it too easy)
Jax considered you his little partner in crime the more time passed—not exactly a friend nah, but like a good ol pal that also likes to partake in joining him and his bullshittery
The first time he hears you purring is when the two of you are lazing about in his room, he’d gotten distracted collecting things for a prank on someone and heard the loudest rumbling coming from behind him
“Are you fucking purring?”
It’s a little embarrassing at first, you’ve uh, never done that before..
Jax has the biggest shit-eating grin, if he wasn’t using dumb cat-themed nicknames before he sure as hell is now
“Oh, like you don’t stomp your feet like a petulant child you overgrown rabbit.”
He does not stomp his fuckin feet like a temperamental rabbit, thank you very much (that’s a fuckin lie if I ever heard one)
Jax already had mixed feelings about you before, nothing particularly bad, just feelings he couldn’t place…that was until the prank…
He doesn’t know how you did it, or how he got so wrapped up in it. But you pranked him, and you pranked him good.
Oh, oh okay that feeling is new… butterflies don’t typically belong inside your gut, now whether Jax has ever experienced a crush before or not is probably beyond him. But these little butterflies are a bitch and it takes awhile of placing two and two together to realize he’s… caught feelings to some degree
You, however, probably had a crush on him for a while, perhaps really noticing it after the whole purring fiasco when you learned that it only happened around Jax
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level2janitor · 2 months
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Introduction to the OSR
what's an OSR? it's a game that's kinda like old-school D&D. or is old-school D&D. or is compatible with old-school D&D. an OSR game generally has some or all of the following principles:
low character power with highly lethal combat. in old-school D&D a 1st-level fighter has d8 hit points and a longsword does d8 damage, and you die at 0HP. this is not to ensure characters die all the time but to emphasize the next bullet point:
emphasis on creative problem solving. most situations cannot be solved by straightforward use of your abilities (such as charging into every situation with swords drawn, if a fighter), so the game tests lateral, outside-the-box thinking.
emphasis on diegetic progression. spells are found, not obtained automatically on level-up. you get XP by finding gold more than killing monsters. most of your cool abilities come from magic items. making alliances & hiring followers is encouraged.
focus on managing inventory, resources, risk, and time. the players are constantly faced with meaningful decisions; this is the heart of the game.
very sandbox-oriented. the focus on creative problem solving means the game must be accommodating to players taking a course of action the GM didn't plan for. use lots of random tables to generate emergent story. some elements of new simulationism.
high tactical transparency, i.e., the optimal course of action is rarely system-specific, and ideally very possible for a new player to intuit.
usually semi-compatible with old D&D, but not always. usually rules-lite, but not always.
what does the OSR mostly NOT do?
focus on character builds. these change the focus too much to be on the rules than the fiction, can create situations where stuff everyone should be able to do is an ability locked to one class, and impede tactical transparency.
resolve everything with a die roll. combat uses dice to be scary, unpredictable and most importantly not your default course of action. everything else should bring up dice rarely - dice are your plan B when your plan A fails. the best plans need no dice.
use linear storytelling or put players into a writer/GM role. linear storytelling gets in the way of the decision-making so core to the playstyle; letting players write details into the setting is mutually exclusive with them discovering it.
rules for everything. 400 pages of crunch is worse at simulating a believable world than the GM and players' shared understanding. OSR games rely constantly on GM ruling.
mostly still applies to all the above. making your system a "pure" OSR game comes second to doing what's best for your game.
System recommendations
old D&D or a retroclone
old-school D&D - or old school essentials or basic fantasy or swords & wizardry, which are old D&D's mechanics repackaged with quality-of-life tweaks (and the upside of not giving WOTC your money) - are usually the go-to when recommending someone's first OSR game. they're actually not my first pick, though!
PROS:
very complete, with more robust rules than a lot of the lighter games on this list.
100% compatibility: most OSR adventures are statted for old school essentials. converting them to other OSR systems is usually simple, but not 1-for-1.
easier to find games for. anyone interested in the OSR space knows what old school essentials is.
CONS:
jank. these games largely still have weird saves, level limits for non-humans, some still have descending AC, etc etc. it's not that bad but it is there
i hate thief skills. lots of essential dungeoneering actions are locked to the thief class as abilities, with abysmally low success chances. this is stuff i prefer being handled without a roll. thieves in this system suck and make everyone else worse at dungeon crawling by existing.
there's just lots of really cool shit in other systems i'm about to go into that you just don't get here
Knave 1e and its various hacks
this is a 7-page super-lightweight system that boils everything down to just the essentials.
rolling a character takes like 5 minutes. roll stats, roll gear, roll traits, go. done. it's great.
characters are defined entirely by stats and gear, no classes. wanna be a fighter, have high strength and carry a big sword and armor. wanna be a wizard, have high intelligence and fill your inventory with spells. item slots are elegant and pretty limited.
initiative is instant: roll d6. 1-3, monsters go first. 4-6, PCs go first. swingy, but god it is so smooth and shaves like the most boring 5 minutes off of every combat
monsters are so very elegant. old D&D gives monsters a "hit dice" rating to determine their HP, e.g. a 3HD monster rolls 3d8 for hit points. knave takes this number (HD) and uses it for attack rolls and saves (aside from exceptionally bad/good saves), so a knave statblock looks something like this.
spells are all one or two sentences long & extremely easy to remember.
7 pages is so light. i have the system basically memorized.
DOWNSIDES: there's no dungeon crawling rules (standard for meatier OSR games & something i consider essential) and no real bestiary, though the second point isn't a huge deal cause they're so easy to make. it also kinda assumes you already know how to run OSR games, so there's very little real advice or guidance.
KNAVE HACKS
knave 1e is in creative commons & comes with an editable word doc for you to publish with modifications, so there's a ton of variants (there was a spreadsheet of them somewhere, but i can't find it).
Grave is a favorite - i'm two years into a grave campaign and it's fantastic. it's a dark-souls-y version of knave with some really elegant innovations.
you have a set number of deaths before you for-reals die, as every character plays an undead as is dark souls tradition. makes it good for OSR beginners! being able to tell when you're close to your final death is really good - it lets you emotionally prepare for losing your character & raises the stakes more the more you die. (though honestly you should probably cut the number of extra deaths in half, it's super generous)
XP and gold are combined into one resource, souls. legendary creatures drop big souls you can make into magic items. this has ended up being the coolest thing in my current campaign. my players love finding powerful souls to make into magic items it's so fun
uses preset packages of stats/gear instead of knave's rolled ones, filling the role of more traditional character classes. has the wonderful side effect of not making you get stuck with low stats cause you rolled bad one time.
you have stamina equal to your empty item slots. you spend stamina on spells if you're a caster, or free maneuvers (on top of your attack at no action cost) if you're not. it's super elegant.
there's 3 classes of spells: wizardry for intelligence, holy magic for wisdom, and witch stuff for charisma. nice and intuitive.
there's a page of 50 magic items each a couple sentences long. this PDF is worth it just for the magic items.
DOWNSIDE: see the downsides for knave 1e. all still apply.
i enjoyed grave so much i made a variant of it with the dark souls bits removed (and some dungeon crawl rules added!) to use for my standard fantasy campaigns.
Knave 2e
sadly knave 2e is not purchasable yet (i backed it on kickstarter so i have access, though). but when it comes out i highly recommend it.
much larger and denser than knave 1e. it finally has dungeon crawling rules, it has GM and player guidance, everything is refined and the layout is so so nice and readable.
combat is a bit more interesting than 1e. you can break your weapon against an enemy to deal max damage. you get a free maneuver on high attack rolls.
there's rules for stuff like alchemy, warfare, building a base. it all kicks ass.
there are so many goddamn tables. i rifle through it anytime i need inspiration.
DOWNSIDES: i personally can't think of any! it's a very complete good functional system.
Mausritter
you play tiny little mice! in a world full of big dangerous things that want to eat mice. cat = dragon. you get it. what more could you want
the mouse thing is just super intuitive. you get the dynamic between you and the big scary lethal world. fantastic OSR game to introduce kids
nice and robust ruleset; nothing feels missing
tons of super nice GM stuff! faction rules, tools for rolling up hexcrawls and dungeons, plenty of tables
super clean readable layout. font isn't too small to avoid being intimidating. guidance is really nice and clear.
combat is autohit. super fast & lethal.
100% free
look mausritter is just. good. i wanna run it so bad someday
Worlds Without Number
sort of a middle ground between OSR stuff and 5e.
lots of classes, at least in the paid version. the free version comes with just the warrior, expert and mage. there's feats and more of a focus on builds than most OSR games. if you like more mechanical build variety than a typical OSR game, this is a great game for you!
extremely good multiclassing. y'know how in most games if you just mash together two classes you think are cool you'll end up with a total mess? not here! every combo is viable and works fine! easily the best multiclassing of any game i've touched
an absurd amount of GM stuff and tables. easily more than any of the other stuff i've praised for also having them. but personally i haven't dug into them as much, so i can't really comment on them
skills the way modern D&D has them. you roll dice and try to beat a target number. i don't tend to like rolled skills, but most people do, so if that's your thing WWN has them
DOWNSIDES
the layout is terrible. everything is a huge wall of text with very little use of bold text or bullet points to draw attention to the important bits. the table of contents has like 15 things in it for a 400-page book! i couldn't find any of the paid-version-exclusive classes for like a month after i bought it! looking up rules is a nightmare.
the way the default setting handles "evil races" is like an exaggerated parody of all the problematic aspects of how D&D handles it. like, it wants so bad for you to have an excuse to genocide sentient free-willed people. but at least the default setting is easy to chuck in the trash
Dungeon Crawl Classics
the goal of this system is to take all of the crazy gonzo moments people remember playing old-school D&D in their childhood and turn all of that up to 11 while cutting the stuff that doesn't add to that. i think a lot of its innovations have ended up kind of standard in newer OSR stuff (like fighters getting maneuvers with their attacks), but it still has more to offer.
the funnel: you start the game with four randomly rolled dipshit peasants that you then throw into a meatgrinder to get horribly killed. you pick one of the survivors to be your 1st-level character.
maneuvers: fighters roll an extra die with each attack that gets bigger as you level. if it's a 3 or higher, you get to do a cool thing on top of your attack. pretty standard for OSR games, but this game popularized it!
crit tables: fighters also get more crits and nastier crits as they level. every crit, you roll on the crit table. maybe you chop off a dude's arm. maybe you just knock them over. maybe you shatter their shield. it's very cool
spell tables: i don't really like roll-to-cast mechanics, generally. but DCC goes so all-in on roll-to-cast that it still looks fun as hell to watch. you cast a fireball and maybe it goes how you want. or maybe you explode, or you nuke everything in a half-mile radius, or from now on you permanently ignite flammable materials you touch, or whatever. casters just have to put up with turning into a weird mutated mess across a campaign
there's no dungeon crawl rules, no encumbrance - this game is all about the big over-the-top wacky shit, and is not really interested in the more down-to-earth number crunching. it's more in the you-die-hilariously-all-the-time area of OSR than the you-avoid-death-through-clever-play area. not really my thing but the system knows exactly what it wants to be and i respect it
iron halberd
this one is mine! as the author i'm not qualified to tell you what isn't good about my system, so just assume it's worse than i make it sound, but here's a bunch of the selling points
semi-random character creation where you flip back and forth between rolling dice and getting your own input. roll stats, pick ancestry. pick starting gear kit, roll different dice based on which kit you picked. etc etc. stats are random but all equally viable (no rolling incredibly low or high stats). every time i run this game the character creation is a hit. seriously go roll up a character it'll sell you on the whole thing
you start out a lot stronger than a standard OSR character but grow way more slowly. i don't like 4th-level characters being 4 times as strong as 1st-level ones; HP never gets that high. emphasis is more on diegetic progression instead.
way too many subsystems for alchemy, crafting, strongholds, warfare, renown, rituals, likes 9 pages of magic items, a whole subsystem for becoming a cleric mid-campaign. i couldn't help myself i love this shit
in my current campaign we had a player permanently sacrifice some max HP to become a necromancer after deliberating on whether that's a good idea for like thirty seconds, which instantly made me think my necromancy system is a success
also free
Adventure recommendations
(in rough order of size)
Moonhill Garden (by Emiel Boven): look at this. look at it! this is like the best template for a little dungeon in an OSR game. all of the little factions are tied together. this would be a great oneshot to introduce people to an OSR system with.
A gathering of blades (by Ben Milton): a system-neutral, one-page sandbox. i ran this for an iron halberd game and it went super well. lasted like 7 sessions. highly recommend.
The Waking of Willowby Hall (by Ben Milton): a single dungeon with a million things going on. it's super chaotic with half a dozen different factions crashing into each other and a big angry goose. highly recommend, especially for kids
The Black Wyrm of Brandonsford (by Chance Dudinack): small sandbox with a fun fairytale vibe and a very fleshed-out little town. and a big nasty dragon.
Evils of Illmire (by Zack Wolf): this is a very dense, entire campaign's worth of hexcrawl in a very compact package for like $5. it doesn't do anything particularly new, but the value-for-money is absurd and it's a really good template for how to do a sandbox if you're used to 5e adventures
Ask me anything!
if anything here is unclear or intrigues you, send me asks! i love helping people get into OSR games. i'll link frequently asked questions here if i get any.
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kalims · 2 years
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‎˃ ᵕ ˂ . . "i kinda wanna throw my phone across the room 'cause all I see are girls too good to be true"
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jealousy, jealousy,
I reckon yuu has atleast some people admiring them for their 'heroic' acts for each dorms, ironically enough
characters. riddle, leona, azul, kalim, vil, idia, malleus.
includes. gn!reader, flowers aren't limited to girls.
cw. each has a student from their dorm/another liking reader, book 5 spoilers? kinda.
note. this was supposed to be for celebrating 4k and originally I had a fic that I was supposed to publish but I got really busy w/ school and stuff so I supposed I'll just drop this 😚 I'm also sick btw *cries
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if someone asked you; "what do you think the students see you as?" you'd probably answer, "a wannabe I guess." technically you were sure that you were right about your guess. if there's anything that you'd know about a school that worships villians is that they'd hate someone whose the polar opposite.
which is you, with you basically 'saving' the dorm leaders and all. atleast the person in question didn't seem to pick at you for helping them and not going like 'I don't need your help.'
which is also why you're.. shocked to say the least when some random student you can't say that looks familiar hands you a bouquet of flowers, clearly flushing at your stare. you notice a white envelope tucked into the variety of flowers as well as a box of chocolates.
funnily enough you wondered if twisted wonderland celebrated valentines day on a different month.
albeit the possibly hundred other gazes from the other people. why'd they have to do this in the cafeteria exactly? it would've saved you the trouble if they did it on a more private scale.
you can only smile at them politely. honesty feeling a mixture of embarrassment and shyness cause you've never received such a bold confession yourself. "thank you?" you feel a little bad when they deflate at your short answer to their gifts but nevertheless pleased.
"you're welcome. I tried to pick out the flowers for someone as special as you but it can't compare." they absent-mindedly state. you can't hide the grin on your face, you just met this person and they're already flattering you. it feels nice to be appreciated.
kinda cringe but you take it back this person is really cool.
— riddle rosehearts
bystander number 1. who wants to collar that person by anger, along with jealousy then proceed to stomp away. riddle would actually do that but only when you're not around cause you'd probably not be too happy if he punishes your 'friend' and he wants you to see him as the 😇 reliable young lad everyone loves.
suddenly had the will to impress you and one upped everything the other person did. so they got a 49 on the magical analysis test? that's too bad, riddle got 50. get on his level. so they answer correctly only when called? well riddle's voluntarily raising his hand and getting them all correct. oh they can cook?
oh well. he can do everything else better else than cooking so it doesn't really matter. you'd be a fool to choose someone else over him. but he supposes its part of the charm, infatuatingly enough.
— leona kingscholar
bystander number 2 who either just doesn't care or is secretly really mad. knowing leona it's probably the latter because it's leona and if there's something he hates it's probably getting upped by some random person whom he's clearly better than. you must be really blind if you have the audacity to ramble about said person to him.
went really grumpy for the span of days to weeks. ruggie literally would do anything you ask if it meant that leona's gonna be to his old self, lazy sure but he didn't used to place this much work on him!
your fault or not you'd probably also get affected by his drastic change of attitude. bro literally ignored you as well as everyone else, reverting to his mean self but treating you with more bitterness. it's probably not your fault but he doesn't regret a thing because you actually look upset when he pays you no mind. so you do feel something for him 😒😏. flashbacks to kaeya
— azul ashengrotto
bystander number 3. who's borderlining between wanting to get depressed then crawl in his octo pot to cry and absolutely ruining everything this random cheap made. I mean, really? those aren't even your favorite flowers! where did they get them, at the nearest dollar store? if he were them he'd give you the most expensive flowers you'd ever lay your eyes on!
and that's what he does actually; literally showed up on your doorstep with a handsome smile and gave you the most prettiest flowers you've seen yet. consider yourself charmed! bro literally made you forget about that other person for days until you saw them like a month later which is kinda bizarre..
the twins don't let you know that azul put them up on a 'job' to keep em' away. but it does use for good blackmail material against the jealous octopus.
— kalim al asim
bystander number 4. legit doesn't get jealous. kalim literally is just happy that you have admirers like him because you deserve it! he'd be more upset if you didn't have admirers honestly. okay but lowkey though, he isn't trying to compete at all but you receive a large bouquet, definitely much grander than the one you received and a heartfelt letter tucked into it.
how was that person supposed to win you over when kalim does it better?? ok but this is like the jamil situation in book 5 LOL.
if he actually somehow gets jealous he feels bad because he knows he'll do it better ( not condescending /gen ) so he just resorts to trying to win your affection and forgets about not trying then completely overshadowed the other person's previous attempts. bro only spared a 'I feel bad' look then smiling again because yay! you like him better now :)
— vil schoenheit
bystander number 5. AKA, the one who knows he'll do better and actually does do it better ( condescending ). vil doesn't even bother doing anything cause he trusts you enough to make the.. correct, choice. you do know that he's one of the most sought off person in the world, right? you'd be a fool to not see that.
okay but maybe he is a little paranoid that you actually will choose them so he actually does put in effort..
I mean nearly everyone is scared terrified of rook right? what's one more person to the count? he totally does not purposely send out rook to stalk them so he can expose them on social media .. or make him stall them somewhere so he has the chance to whisk you away and you losing the ability to see them for this day.. oh well, it's better to just spend it with vil since you're free anyways..
— idia shroud
bystander number 6 who was there but actually not there..? physically not present but he was there, somehow.. *looks at camera in the far, FAR corner of the ceiling*. idia doesn't know whether to start crying because you actually looked happy with their CRINGE. confession.. the crying is a more intense period than azul's btw.
or.. actually there's no or, that's just what he's gonna do. close his electronic device, crawl into his bed and cry into his body pillow. fear not. little brother ortho to the rescue! ortho actually suggested destroying any evidence of a 'disappearance' if that poor soul just happened to not be present for years but idia quickly shot that idea down, he actually pondered on agreeing but no way he's gonna let them win by that!
hijacks all their phones, PC's, whatever other stuff so that it's completely off, no other person can fix it besides him. and he's definitely not gonna do that so the person ghosts you for weeks, so you get mad and ghost them irl.. wow his masterplan actually worked. no ortho pls don't force me to 'comfort' them..
— malleus draconia
bystander number 7 who genuinely doesn't see the appeal of this basic little b— human :). like? hello?? he's right here, open your eyes child of man. no need to tolerate the pathetic display they just did that doesn't live up to your very existence, they might as well compare you to gravel on the floor from how poor they executed their weird analogy.
he could legit go on and on about every single feature you have, your eyes, mouth, face, shape.. he would present you a microsoft presentation for it if you ask and it literally is godly description type of thing. you could finish listening to one of them and you'd be in TEARS ☠.
bros so sentimental. he thanks lilia for the advice of microsoft presentation because you now look completely convinced. malleus has the pride to spare the other person a smirk when your attention is fully on him :D.
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sapphic-agent · 8 months
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Let's Talk About the Bakugou Problem
I've been enjoying the Bakugou slander here on Tumblr, but I haven't come across anyone that gets to the root of the problem with Bakugou's character yet. I think it goes further than him having anger issues, being annoying, or even how violent and abusive he is. Why I think Bakugou is a bad character is due to the effect he has on the plot, world-building, and the rest of the characters. There's a lot of layers here, so I'd like to take the time to talk as in-detail as I can while typing on mobile.
*Note: I'll be following the anime as it's easier for me to follow and pick specific examples. Manga readers if you have anything to add I'd love to hear it, even if it's against what I've listed here*
*Note: Bakugou fans you're more than welcome to read, though I warn you might not like what you see. I tried to keep this as constructive as I could without letting my own biases seep in (whether I succeeded is up for debate) so that everyone could read it whether you like Bakugou or not. I'm fine with criticism towards my points, I only ask that you remain respectful. I won't engage with anyone who disrespects me or other users*
1. Consequences
This is a big one among Bakugou critics, so I think it's a pretty good place to start. Bakugou has almost never faced actual consequences to his actions (there's a difference between something bad that happens to happen to him and the world around him not accepting his behavior). There are two instances that I can think of that there was a direct ramification to something Bakugou has done. The first was during the Deku vs Kacchan fight where Bakugou does get suspended for four days while Izuku gets suspended for three days. The other is when he and Todoroki fail the provisional licensing exam. However, there's a problem with these two instances I mentioned.
With the D vs K fight, Bakugou was the one who goaded Izuku out of the dorms and instigated a fight. Izuku was trying to get him to go back to the dorms so they could settle their "issue" under adult supervision. He was trying to do the responsible thing. For Izuku to only receive a day less of punishment seems unfair. Though, you could make the case that he should have ignored Bakugou, it's still very clear that one was way more at fault than the other and there was barely a difference in their punishment.
The provisional licensing exam actually did well with failing Bakugou. It was almost a great lesson; that he can't say and do whatever he wants and expect the world to roll over for him. Unfortunately, it's undermined by Todoroki failing as well. Yes, Todoroki failed because of Inasa. But a) Inasa attacked him first which should have resulted in disqualification (what was Todoroki supposed to do, not fight back when he was being assaulted?) and b) Inasa's entire character seems shoehorned into the story. He doesn't really add anything to Todoroki's character as most of his problems with Todoroki were already resolved back in season 2. He also contributes nothing to the overall story. Shindou, for example, has a hand in testing 1A and forces them to work together congruently. Inasa seems like he was put in the story simply to make Todoroki fail. Why does Todoroki have to fail? Because Bakugou does.
It seems like Horikoshi always softens the blow for Bakugou in a way, if he's dealt any blow at all. By not allowing Bakugou to face consequences on his own, he might as well not be facing them at all.
Why are consequences so important? Because Bakugou's privilege is a problem.
I don't think I've seen anyone address this. The root of Bakugou's behavior comes from the fact that he was allowed to do all those terrible things because the world around him was tolerant of it. Teachers turned a blind eyes when he bullied Izuku because he had a great quirk and Izuku was quirkless. He's allowed to do and say whatever he wants because he has a great quirk. While people seem to be harder on Izuku because of either having no quirk or not being able to fully control his quirk. This is a huge part of the story that was set up in the beginning, but was almost never addressed despite being persistent throughout. And it's the most present with Aizawa.
Bakugou attempts to attack a fellow student the first day of class? Simply restrained, no repercussions. Bakugou uses excessive force against a classmate despite his teacher telling him to stop? Nothing more than a few not-so-nice words. Bakugou assaults his partner and refuses to cooperate? No words at all.
Now look at Izuku. Doesn't have full control of his quirk? His teacher attempts to humiliate and expel him in front of his classmates on the first day of class. Saves a classmate in an admittedly risky rescue mission? Said teacher proclaims he lost his trust and labels him a problem child (despite the orchestrator of said mission- Kirishima- being in the same room and not getting spoken to at all).
(I don't know if Aizawa's projecting, but pandering to the kid with the strong quirk while simultaneously disliking All Might isn't a great look.)
Even before UA, Bakugou is praised by the heroes for his strong quirk against the sludge villain despite the fact that his quirk made everything worse while Izuku is scolded even though they were the ones who did nothing while he did what he could to save someone.
"All men aren't created equal." That's one of Izuku's very first lines and a central point of the story. It's something you expect it to address multiple times, especially in regards to Izuku and Bakugou. But Bakugou being spared from consequences every single time he does something terrible means that the statement is validated, but the problem still persists and is never rectified or solved. Even if you think Bakugou "changed," that doesn't make his privilege go away.
2. Plot Compensation
The story goes out of its way to make Bakugou seem like a better person than he is.
My first example is the Sports Festival, specifically his fight with Uraraka. In this fight, Bakugou is met with booing from the audience for not going easy on her. And right off the bat, this is weird. Because not only have we never seen this attitude toward women heroes before or after this, the show is trying to tell us something when Aizawa tears the crowd down. Almost as if saying, "The crowd is dumb and wrong and if you think like the crowd, you're dumb and wrong." Aizawa claims that Bakugou is treating Uraraka like a real opponent by not going easy on her.
...is he though?
Because we never see Bakugou stand still in a fight like he does with her. Bakugou's fighting style relies a lot on mobility. During his fight with Tokoyami, who he knew he had an advantage over because of the light from his quirk, he isn't standing still. During his fight with Todoroki he isn't standing still. He only does this with Uraraka. Because this isn't Bakugou showing respect, it's him still looking down on her. He doesn't see her as a serious opponent, just an obstacle in his way.
And I know this sounds like a bold claim. But if you recall, Bakugou immediately confronts Izuku after the fight and accuses him of giving Uraraka the idea she used during their match. He assumes it was a ploy from Izuku, implying that he didn't think Uraraka capable of coming up with a plan with the potential to work against him. This isn't respect for an opponent.
(Note: the only thing in Bakugou's favor is it's probably not because she's a girl. He just naturally looks down on everyone who doesn't immediately stand out to him with a show of power like Todoroki)
Then we have the revered scene with the League or Villains.
This scene is praised because it "subverts expectations." That the violent, angry kid doesn't want to be a villain. He wants to be a noble hero. Aizawa- again- silences claims against Bakugou, citing that he wants to win and he knows he can't do that if he's a villain.
My thing is, however, the League targeting him in the first place. Why would they do this? Bakugou clearly has a heroic quirk. He scored first on the entrance exam. If they did any research at all beforehand, they would know that Bakugou was at the top of his class before UA and is in the top five currently. And they'd know he has wealthy parents.
(You would think Dabi especially would draw parallels to Endeavor and would be aware that Bakugou's ambition and heroic quirk don't make him similar to the League who have been discriminated against, shunned, and abused for most of their lives. Even with his behavior at the Sports Festival, Endeavor isn't the noble and kind type like All Might and most other heroes. So I'm not sure why Bakugou's behavior immediately screamed villain potential)
Nothing about him suggests he's had a hard life like most of the League. Nothing about him suggests he'd want to leave his comfortable life and secured future to become a villain.
This scene sets up Bakugou's redemption, right? It leads us to the Deku vs Kacchan fight and All Might's advice is what makes him take on his "save to win" mentality.
But not only does this seem like a convenient plot device, it decidedly ignores the uglier part of Bakugou's decision.
Bakugou rejected the LOV because he saw them as losers. But what if they hadn't been losers? What if they had been doing as well as they were at the end of season 5? Merging and becoming the MLA front, organized teams, wealthy, successfully recruiting members right under the heroes' noses.
Maybe Bakugou wouldn't have outright joined them. But at this point before shifting his perspective, his answer might have been very different.
But the story goes out of its way to hammer in Bakugou's scarce good traits to take your focus away from his overwhelming bad ones.
3. Bakugou's Character Shift "Development"
The way Horikoshi wrote Bakugou in the beginning is very different to how he is portrayed later in the show. No, I don't mean his development. I mean the major shift in his character between seasons 1/2 and season 3/4.
Bakugou in the beginning of the show is cruel, meanspirited, and violent. And he's still all of those things throughout the show. The one difference is that it's played for laughs in later seasons.
Bakugou's actions and words in seasons 1 and 2 are portrayed a lot more serious than in later seasons. He's an antagonistic force, one that Izuku has to strive to overcome not just to be a good hero, but for himself as Bakugou has been one of the most prominent obstacles in his strive to become a hero.
Look at his behavior during the battle trials. It's something serious, something that has even All Might worried. Bakugou knew he could have very well killed Midoriya and didn't care. It's brutal and almost hard to watch because at this point in the show Midoriya is weak and tiny (visually, we know he's never really been weak) compared to Bakugou and can really only outsmart him to win.
We never see Bakugou display anything close to this level of violence in later seasons. Not in the Sports Festival or 1A vs 1B or D vs K or the licensing exam or even against literal villains. Season 1 went out of its way to show Bakugou's cruel behavior even using it as something Izuku has to learn how to overcome even if he has to risk everything.
By season 3, the perspective has changed. Bakugou name calling people, belittling people, yelling, and his acts of violence are now exaggerated for comedy. None of his actions are taken as seriously as they were before, despite some being almost or just as bad.
(It's worth mentioning that this was also around the time Bakugou began to get popular among fans)
A great example of this is in season 5 when he throws his headpiece at Izuku and makes him bleed. His casual act of his aggression towards his lifelong victim is present to make the audience laugh, despite the fact that Izuku was bleeding and the 1A boys are (rightfully) horrified.
(I'd like to add that there was no real reason to do this. Nothing he was saying would have exposed OFA and even if it had, he was done talking by the time Bakugou threw it)
If Bakugou had really changed at this point, this would have never happened in the first place. I can't call this changing or development, I call this his actions shifting into comedic relief and away from the serious connotations they previously held. By taking that away, it allows Bakugou to continue to do the same things he has all his life while under the guise of development. It undermines what's supposed to be his redemption arc.
4. Other Characters
Bakugou isn't the only one who gets a character shift. It's approximately the moment that Bakugou begins to get more attention that the other characters lose the substance they had at the beginning of the show.
The ones hit most notably by this are obviously Uraraka and Iida. They were Izuku's first friends, his original trio. More than that, they are set up as interesting characters with their own arcs and paths for becoming great heroes.
Even though I did have my complaints about her fight with Bakugou in the Sports Festival, it does turn Uraraka onto improving past her goal of becoming a rescue hero. She wants to become better in other aspects of being a hero so that she can succeed and keep up with her stronger classmates. She proved herself capable of this during her fight with Bakugou and it was the catalyst of her character development.
Iida was not only resolving himself with caring for Midoriya as a friend as well as being his rival and wanting to surpass him. There's also this darker side to him that no one expects from goody two shoes, straight-laced Iida that had so much potential for exploration.
Both of them are tossed to the side in favor of Bakugou. I would even go as far as to say that after season 2, they're almost irrelevant until season 6 and even then they're limited (before season 6 Uraraka's only character trait is that she ignores he feelings for Midoriya to become a better hero, which came out of nowhere and does nothing for her character). And they barley ever get moments with Izuku during time despite being his first friends.
Todoroki is a similar yet very different case. At the beginning of the show, he was intense and has strong feelings. (An interesting parallel is that if Iida was his friend becoming his rival, Todoroki was his rival becoming his friend and both relationships speak to Izuku as a character) Even if he didn't express them, we as the audience knew they were there. But as times passes he becomes flat and dull. Even though he's supposed to be part of the new trio, he's barley present (the dynamic between the three of them is uninteresting all around as it's basically Bakugou yelling at Izuku with Todoroki in the background. They never have any deep or heartfelt moments nor do they have good chemistry) and barely gets any one-on-one interaction with Izuku despite them being very good friends.
(I can't blame this all on Bakugou as the show also shifts from focusing to Todoroki to focusing on his own abuser which is part of the issue with his lack of character, but Bakugou's character does contribute to this problem of making the abusers more sympathetic than the victims)
Most if not the rest of 1A fade into the background after this, save for a few who have notable moments sprinkled in throughout the show. You can take this as a Bakugou prevalence problem, or it can be seen as Horikoshi just not knowing how to balance characters.
However, the character that suffers the most because of this is Izuku himself.
I don't think it's a bad thing that Izuku admires or looks up to Bakugou. I don't think it's a problem that he doesn't see anything wrong with Bakugou's behavior against him. Izuku grew up in an environment where that was normalized. That he's worthless because of his lack of quirk and Bakugou deserves to be on top because of his great quirk. Of course he internalized that, even though he knows that a quirk doesn't determine someone's worth. He was never given the tools or the means to beat that mindset.
What I despise is the fact that everyone around him enables it.
As I stated above, Aizawa is definitely the worst when it comes to this. Not only shoving Bakugou and Izuku together and making it Izuku's job to get Bakugou to cooperate, but hardly if ever condemning Bakugou when he lashes out against Izuku. Even without their history, what Bakugou does is wrong and should be treated as such.
Unfortunately and even though I love All Might, he's also guilty of this. It's true that he might not know the full extent of their toxic relationship, but All Might sees Bakugou instigate a fight with Izuku and decides it's okay to tell Bakugou about One For All. Bakugou did nothing to earn this honor: he hasn't shown Izuku support and hasn't been a reliable ally he could depend on. But even disregarding that, Bakugou had just been captured by villains who work for All For One. He was the last person on Earth who should have been entrusted with this secret.
The adults in Izuku's life enable and reward Bakugou's bad behavior and urge them into forming a relationship and partnership that frankly shouldn't exist (and only does to make Bakugou a better person and hero, it does nothing for Izuku). It's to the point where almost Izuku's entire character revolves around his relationship with Bakugou and how he improves because of it and how he helps Bakugou improve. And he further projects this when he "subtly" implies that Todoroki should forgive Endeavor, which feels like a justification towards the audience of his own feelings towards Bakugou.
5. Accountability
I mentioned consequences as my first point. But what many who want this miss, it goes hand-in-hand with accountability.
Unlike consequences, Bakugou more or less does take accountability in the form of his apology. But the apology was lackluster for a couple of reasons. The main thing is that it feels like a list of excuses rather than simply owning up to the fact that he was shitty and there's really no good reason for it. But simply explaining why you hurt the person you hurt isn't giving them the apology they deserve. It's making it about you.
Another thing, though, is that the apology is very scarce. It skips over the worst of Bakugou's actions. Nothing he said was anything 1A didn't already know. They don't know about the s*icide baiting which is one of the worst things he's done to Izuku (and that's only what we saw, who knows what Bakugou's been saying for years?). It also ignores everything he did in UA, which was a very big part of the problem. He treated Izuku poorly months prior to the apology and that shouldn't be ignored.
As far as accountability goes this apology isn't that great. But it's something. No, what's worse is that the other characters don't hold Bakugou accountable.
The other characters more often than not turn a blind eye to Bakugou's behavior. We've already covered Aizawa, but the rest of 1A is guilty of this too. No one says anything about the Battle Trials. Hardly anyone condemns Bakugou when he attacks or insults Izuku. Sometimes they'll chime in like Uraraka or Kirishima, but other than that no one outright tells him off. This is out of character for Iida in particular because he's such a stickler about rules and courtesy for others (he literally told off a six year old when he punched Izuku and tried to stop Mineta from perving on the girls, why wouldn't he do the same when it comes to Bakugou?). It's almost like the characters are blind to Bakugou's behavior.
What's weirder is that Mina and Kirishima- who were both stated to hate bullying- are friends with him. Why would the show go out of its way to tell us this only to saddle them into the "BakuSquad?" It doesn't make sense.
It's hypocritical that everyone in 1A is so tolerant of Bakugou but get annoyed with others; like Monoma for example. Or even Mineta because as much as I dislike him he's constantly being called out by 1A. It means that they know certain behavior is wrong and/or shouldn't be entertained, so we know they aren't completely unaware. But the fact that they largely ignore Bakugou's behavior and condemn Monoma's is so weird. You can't excuse one and not the other.
Conclusion
There's certainly more than this to my dislike of Bakugou. But I think I've mostly covered his negative impact on the story. Doing a deep dive into his awful personality is something I wouldn't wish on anyway. Many others have done that anyway, so I'm content to leave it out. But I hope you liked my little breakdown!
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beary-rambles · 1 year
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Econ tutor | 100 Follower Special
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Summary: You're failing econ and you need to pass this semester. When you asked your professor he told you he would assign you a tutor, Ethan Landry.
Pairing: Ethan Landry x Fem!reader
Warnings: SLOWBURN, fluffy, he fell first and fell harder, no ghostface au! Ooc characters (Happy friend group laugh out loud), ethan gives me peanut allergy vibes, misunderstanding trope, strangers to friends to lovers, not proofread.
word count: 9.3k
Looking at the grade from your most recent test on canvas you can only groan and put your head in your hands, You suck at econ. Econ aka economics is one of the worst classes ever invented. 
You couldn't fail this class, you needed it to graduate and you definitely weren't repeating it especially when you paid a lot of money to take it. As a freshman at Blackmore University you needed to take econ for your degree and it sucks. 
You should email your professor and ask if he's free. You draft out an email and during his open hours you send it to ask if he has any advice for you to improve your grade. Just like any other professor he of course does not answer you within a reasonable time and all you can do is stress out for the next week.
He finally gets back to you and tells you to meet him after your last class. You dreadfully walk your way to his class and knock on the door. "Come in." You open the door and see your professor standing by his desk with a boy who must be the same age standing stiffly near him.
You make your way towards them and you feel confused, Did you get the time wrong? No, you repeatedly checked the time and date so you can't be wrong.
Your questions are quickly answered as he begins to speak. "This is Ethan Landry, he's a star student and he's agreed to tutor you and prepare you for the final." The final was a couple months away as it was only just the beginning of the second semester and you needed to pass it to pass the class.
You look at Ethan who smiled as soon as you looked at, "It's nice to meet you." "It's nice to meet you too." He's not bad to look at, at all. He's got a nice smile and curly hair, he wears a plain black hoodie and blue jeans with sneakers. He's cute. 
The professor goes over some other things like scheduling and how you two should scheduling meeting days. Once you two are dismissed you are standing outside of his room with him.
"So, could I get your number?" He looks at you shocked, his face slightly red, "You know, so I can text you and we schedule a day to meet." He looks embarrassed, "Oh right." 
You hand him your phone and he puts his number in and hands it back. An awkward silence falls over you as you bounce heel to toe. "So.... When are you free?"
"What?" "You know, like for our first session." You're shocked his face can get anymore red, "Right! I'm free any day. I never really have anything planned. Oh my god that sounds so lame I mean I have plans sometimes just not anytime soon-""Ethan." You're laughing. He's really cute.
He's looking down at his feet as he kicks some of the pebbles on the ground. "I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you. Promise." He nods. seemingly not believing in you as you continue. "So, What about thursday? I get out of my liberal arts class at 2 then I'm free for the rest of the day." 
He nods, "I get out of algebra at 2:30 if you're willing to wait." You nod as you smile. “That's fine, We could meet in the library?” He nods, “yes that works.” You smile as he lifts his head, “I really want to thank you for doing this, I really appreciate it.” He nods and scratches the back of his neck with a sheepish grin, “It's no problem really.” 
You begin to walk back and wave “I'll see you.” You turn back before he gets to say anything and head to your dorm for the day, exhausted after your morning classes. He seems like the nerdy smart type and that’s good because you really need help with this class. You should find a way to thank him for doing this.
It's monday so you have a couple days until your first session. For some odd reason you can't wait to study econ.
‘Do you have a favorite dessert?’ Ethan can barely believe his eyes at the text you just sent him. It's Tuesday and he doesn't have class on Tuesday so he spends the morning at the gym, sweat dripping down his face as he reads over the text you sent. Dessert? Why were you asking him about the dessert? “It's the first text you sent him other than a confirmation text to confirm it was actually his number (a text he totally did not stress over for about ten minutes before he answered) 
He couldn't believe his luck when his econ professor had come up to him and asked if he would tutor you since you were failing the class. You being the person he had a massive crush on since he first saw you walking around campus, then he found out you were in the same econ class as him and began to sit closer to you during class so he could look at you. Not in a stalker way of course. He didn't mention this to anyone, especially not Chad, his roommate and the person who he considers to be his best friend. Chad would definitely find a way to make fun of him and beg him to ask you out at any given moment. 
When he was talking to you yesterday he felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He made a fool out of himself and he was embarrassed, of course the first time he tries to talk to you he ruins it. You laughed at him, your laugh is nice so is your smile it's so much better when directed at him than seeing you smile from across the room. “What's got you smiling like that huh?” Chad had walked up to him with a curious look on his face and a grin. “Nothing.” Ethan quickly turned off his phone as Chad crossed his arms, “Nope what is it.” Ethan sighs, “It's nothing really.” His phone dings and before Ethan can blink, Chad is snatching it out of his hand, “Hey!” You texted again, ‘also do you have any allergies?’ Ethan tries to get the phone back but Chad is looking at it with a tilted head, “Y/n? With heart next to it dude you never told me you got a girlfriend.” Ethan manages to get the phone back and shakes his head, “She's not my girlfriend.” Chad now has a look on his face that Ethan does not like, “Oh you got a crush on the girl, got it.” 
Ethan groans as he sits down on the bench, This isn't good. “I dont think ive heard of her, I'm gonna ask Tara if she knows her.” Chad pulls out his phone. “Please don't.” “aaaaaaand send, oh no too late.” Ethan groans and lays back on the bench with his head in his hands. This is the worst, exactly what he was trying to avoid. Ethans phone buzzes and he looks at it, ‘No way your nerd ass has a crush on that hottie LOL.’ He throws the phone on the ground next to him and covers his face. Chad laughs, “Oh she works with Tara and is her lab partner, ooo she sent me her insta.” Ethan’s ears burn, he is so embarrassed. “Oh she's cute, ask her out.” 
Ethan finally sits up, “No way.” Chad rolls his eyes, “Dude why not.” Ethan shakes his head, “She doesn't like me. She doesn't even know me.” Chad sits on the bench next to him, “If she doesn't like you then why the hell is she asking you if you're allergic to anything?” “I dont know im her tutor for econ-” “woah woah woah woah back up.” Ethan sighs, “You're her tutor??” “Starting thursday.” He can't wait for Thursday, it had only been a day since he found out and he could barely contain his excitement. “Oooo the perfect opportunity to ask. her. out.” “Chad-” “Think about it, you two are sitting cozy in your bed going over notes-” “Why are we in my bed?” “And you make a move on her, it's perfect.” “You're ridiculous.”  “I'm not being ridiculous, I'm being serious, ask her out.”
Ethan stands up and cleans up his stuff to leave, “Nope and this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you.” Chad shakes his head, “Don’t worry man I got you.” “Don't even think about it.”
‘Um, I like cookies.’
‘Allergies? I'm allergic to peanuts.’
You had settled on making him a dessert as a gift most people like desserts right?. Cookies it is. You started researching different recipes and planned out a day to go get ingredients when you got a text from tara. 
‘Hey, are you free on friday?’
You groan and hope she's not about to ask you to cover a shift for her, Fridays are usually a free day for you, no classes and no school so you're free to do what you want and you do not want to spend another Friday covering a shift.
‘If you need me to cover a shift for you, no but if it's for anything else then yes.’
‘You wouldnt cover for me 🙁’
‘No way.’
‘Im joking, you're coming with me to go bowling with my friends. Five. be dressed i'm gonna come pick you up.’
‘Do I have a choice? You never invite me to these things.’
‘Nope. love you <;3’
Why does she want you to come? It's an odd request because despite the fact you two are close you've never been invited to hang with her friend group, you don't even know who’s in said group. You thumbs down her last message before going back to your cookie research. 
“She’s coming!” “Nice!” Ethan glares at Tara and Chad as they high five and peck lips in his dorm. “What are you two talking about?” Tara smiles at him as she moves to leave for the night, “Oh nothing, just got you a bowling partner for friday, you're welcome.” Ethan tilts his head confused, “I thought Quinn was gonna be my partner.” His sister, Quinn, while not a main member of their friend group, usually joined them for these sorts of hang outs, “She cant make it she needs to make up a test for physics.” 
Ethans earlier conversation with Chad plays in his mind as he looks at them, “What did you two do?” “Nothing! Goodnight!” “Tara!” She runs out the door and he turns to Chad, “Don't you dare tell me-” “You're welcome.” 
Ethan flops onto his bed and sighs. He should have never let Chad find out and now Tara knew and that only made it worse. He runs his hands over his face, he really likes you and he doesn't want to ruin it, now he would be partnered with you for bowling and the worst thing is he sucks at bowling. 
It was wednesday and you were in lab with tara doing some research lab, she was clearly not interested in it though as she started talking to you.
"So I heard you're getting tutored for econ." you turn to her shocked, "how did you hear about that?" she rolls her eyes, "um i'm dating chad?" "I know? what does that have to do with anything?" she gives you a dumbfounded look, "Ethan is Chad's roommate? And my friend? did you seriously not know this, he's gonna be there on friday."
oh. "No?!? why would i know that tara i usually tune out whenever you start talking about him-" "hey what's that supposed to mean-" "it means i don't want to hear about you and what your boyfriend are up to especially knowing you-" "knowing me?-" "you're gonna say something weird so i tune out-" "I would never." You give her a blank stare and she shrugs, "You're just mad I have a hot boyfriend. I knew it."
You groan and look at your paper and begin to work, "definitely not jealous tara." "sure...." for a few moments it's quiet and you hope that's the end of her questioning but of course, "there has to be a guy you think is cute."
You look at her, "What?" "Is there a guy you think is cute?" "Tara, stop pushing your relationship agenda onto me. I don't need a boyfriend- ""or a girl I don't judge-" "tara." "One person just named one."
you roll your eyes, "i don't know," You think and your mind automatically drifts back to ethan. You two haven't texted since you asked him about desserts but right now when asked if there's a guy you think is cute all you can think about are his dreamy eyes and curly hair. "Ethans pretty cute." You blurt out before you can stop yourself and slap your hand over your mouth, tara grins. You don't like that grin.
"I see...." "I didn't mean to say that-" "okay...." "Tara forget about it." "No way." she pulls her phone and texts someone while you can only look at her with horror. "Who are you texting?" "nobody." she smiles as she puts her phone down and goes back to work, "Oh come on we need to finish this paper." "I hate you."
--
Thursday had rolled around faster than you thought it would. Yesterday after your work shift you walked to the grocery store and picked up what you needed to make a (hopefully) good batch of cookies. Walking out of your liberal arts class you walk back to your dorm and pick up the cookies you made and make your way to the library.
You sit down at one of the empty tables and text him where you're sitting. You don't receive a response until 2:30, 'Okay! I'll meet you there, just need to run back and grab my econ textbook.'
He walks in at 2:45, he spots you and smiles as he moves towards you. "Hi." "Hey there." He sits across from you. He looks cute today, he's wearing a red sweater with black jeans, and his hair looks really soft. "So..." You realize you're staring and look down at your notes you had pulled out. “Um….” It's awkward, his face is red and he’s fiddling around with his papers. You need to end this before you guys just end up sitting here in silence. “Do you mind if we start with the recent test, I'm sorry but it's just… It was really bad.” You laugh and he smiles, “No I mean yes! Of course we can.” As soon as you begin you fall into an easy conversation, He’s way more confident while going over Econ, you realize it's kind of hot that he’s so smart. 
“I'm sorry but I don't know how much more econ I can take for the day.” You rub your head as he laughs. It's now after six and you're starving. “That's okay, we can wrap up for the day and continue next time.” You two pack up and walk out the library together, the sun is set so it's dark out and he looks at you worried, “I didn't even notice the sun had set.” You say looking at the sky, “Please it's my fault let me walk you to your dorm.” You laugh and shake your head, he looks really worried and apologetic, it's cute. “Ethan really it's okay not your fault at all, probably mine to be honest i really didn't get all that inflation stuff.”  You really sucked at anything with money, especially if it's in economics, you two had to sit there for an hour as he went over just that one question with you.  
“No.. really it was- i mean please let me walk you there. I would feel bad letting you walk on your own, not that you can't take care of yourself of course but you know it's late and there are a lot of weird guys walking around right now i kind of seem like a weird guy don't i shit-""Ethan!” You're laughing, he really is so cute. He stares at you amazed at you laughing before he looks down, “I'm sorry, I can go-'' He quickly turns to leave but you grab his arm to stop him. His arm feels muscular, does he have muscles? No… is he really underneath all those baggy hoodies and sweaters he wears? He turns back to you alarmed, “Walk me home? Maybe you're right there are a lot of weirdos around and I need a big strong guy over 6 ft to protect me, don't you think?” 
You squeeze his arm reassuringly as his face burns and his ears go red. You're teasing him, you look at the look on his face and think about apologizing before he speaks again, “Yes.” 
You swear you saw him puff his chest slightly. You almost laugh but after seeing his reaction last time you dont and smile at him as you let go of his arm, "my dorm is this way." you lead him and he walks next to you side by side. "Wait here." He switches places with you so he's next to the road, He's sweet. You two fall into a comfortable silence, it's nice. He bumps into you slightly as you walk, his arms are warm. Your hands brush against each other but before anything else can come from it you arrive at your door.
"Thank you for everything I mean, I really appreciate it." "It's no problem really." You nod as he turns to leave, he makes it a few steps before you call after him, "Wait! shit i can't believe i almost forgot." He turns to you confused, "is everything-" "I made these for you." Youre hold out a container for him and he stares at it, "They're cookies." 
He looks at you in disbelief, "You mentioned you liked them so I thought I would make you some, you know, as a thank you for tutoring me." He stares at you not moving, "if you don't want them that's okay too i promise i didn't poison them." You try to awkwardly joke, feeling a little defeated he didn't want the cookies. He snaps back and shakes his head furiously, "no no no no i want them thank you im just, really shocked." He takes the container out of your hands and holds them as if he fears they're gonna be taken away from him. "Thank you." he says quietly, looking at the container. 
"no thank you." You walk back and get to your door, still standing there looking at you. You smile at him and wave "Bye I'll see you tomorrow!" 
--
He's frozen outside your dorm as he stares at where you were just standing. He's gripping the container tightly in disbelief. You had made him cookies. The last time someone made him cookies was his mom who died years ago. He looks down at the container as his hands begin to shake.
He realizes how crazy he must look, standing outside your dorm so he quickly begins to walk to his dorm. His face hurts from how hard he's grinning, all the time he thinks he can't fall any deeper for you he does. Today was the best day ever, you two sat there for hours. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest every time you looked at him while he was going over a topic. When you got so excited every time something finally made sense and you looked at him, your face covered with a smile, he felt like he couldn't breathe. 
When you were asking him questions all he could do was stare at you. You were the most beautiful girl in the world to him. He opens his door and enters his dorm, the large grin never leaving his face. "Awe look at you." Chad was leaning against a wall and smiling, "You're adorable." Ethan ignores Chad as he moves past him to his bed. He places the container on his desk and his bag on his chair then sits on his bed to take off his shoes"what's this huh?" Chad inspects the container of cookies with a teasing look. "Put that down." 
Chad opens the container, "Cookies? Where did you get these? Can I have one?" Ethan rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "Get out." Chad hums his thoughts and his eyes light up, "did y/n make these for you? oooooo i get it loverboy you don't want me to have any of the sweet cookies your girlfriend made with love for you." Ethan stands and snatches the container out of his hands, "Shut up!" He's red and his grin still hasn't left, Chad looks happy. "So anything fun happens?" Ethan shakes his head, "We just did econ that's all." "boring.'' Chad leaves not before yelling a quick ask her out. Ethan begins to rethink the day. Every Time he thinks he's done something right with you he always finds a way to mess it up.
He takes a shower and changes into his clothes for bed and as he's about to sleep he eyes the container of cookies. He takes one and bites into it. It's sweet.
--
You close the room to your dorm and sigh. The tutor session kicked your ass, you kicked off your shoes and threw your tote bag to the ground and layed down on your bed. Today went well, you were shocked when you looked at your notes you could actually comprehend what any of it meant. It was all thanks to ethan. 
You were shocked you found yourself enjoying his presence so much. It was weird, you didn't expect yourself to like him as much as you did. He was smart, kind, he made you laugh, he didn't degrade you when you didn't understand the topics he went through it with you slowly and made sure to go over anything thoroughly, he wasn't like most of the other guys on campus who were douchebags. you were glad you got ethan as your econ tutor.
--
It's now Friday, almost five as you put the finishing touches on your outfit. As you get a text from tara, 'HERE COME OUT NOW' you roll your eyes and grab your bag and walk out the door.
A large group of people are out there chatting, you don't recognize most of them. The door closes behind you and all the heads turn towards you. 
"Hey dude." "Hey tara." Tara rushes over and gives you a hug. "So this is mindy, chad, anika," They all smile at you, you notice mindy and anika holding hands and standing side by side, anika waves while mindy nods. Chad is standing behind Tara and gives you a knowing smile, "and of course you know ethan." Ethan. He's standing in the back with his hands in his jeans, he's wearing a blue polo shirt with a black jacket. He looks really cute. 
You smile back at him and look into his eyes. He locks eyes with you and he smiles. "Wait, you two know each other?" Mindy asks with an accusing finger. "I tutor her for econ." "really?" Anika looks back at Ethan who nods. 
Tara claps and gets everyone's attention, "enough standing around let's move guys." Tara wraps her arm around chads and begins to walk, mindy and anika following closely behind leaving you and ethan walking side by side. 
"I really liked the cookies." You turn to him as he looks away, you smile as a warm feeling fills your chest. "I'm glad." 
"So did i." Chad looks back with a smile, "you had one?" Ethan asks with a glare, "we split one, you need to make some for me." Tara calls from the front. "I will as long as you stop asking me to cover for you at work." She gasps, "I would never." You give her a blank look as she laughs.
"So how long have you two been studying together?" Anika looks back at you with a smile, "um, we only had one session yesterday, he's supposed to be tutoring me until the final." You look at Ethan who has a big smile on his face. Anika looks at the two of you and gives mindy a knowing look.
An easy conversation begins to flow between you all as you walk to the bowling alley. You sneak glances at Ethan who wears a grin on his face while everyone in the group teases him for whatever they 're currently talking about. You like the way he acts around his friends, he's a little more confident as he shuts Chad up for making fun of his messy room or arguing with mindy about some horror movie. It was nice, the night hadn't even begun but you felt like you hadn't had this much fun in forever.
You all finally arrive at the place and they all rush to get their shoes. "So the pairs will be, me and tara, anika and mindy then y/n and ethan." "Oh we'll be in pairs?" you turn to ethan and smile, "we're gonna win." His face is red but he nods, "Definitely." 
"I'd like to see you try dude." Chad slaps his back he leans in close to you, "fyi he's terrible at bowling." "Dude!" Chad runs away before Ethan can say anything else. "I'm not good either, it's okay, as long as I do better than Tara I don't care." To this he laughs, "Oh we definitely need to do better than tara." You two laugh as you go to collect your shoes and pick your ball.
"Can you hurry or else I'm gonna put you last." You walk over to Tara and roll your eyes, "you're gonna put me last anyways." She gasps, "I would-" "never yes I know." She pouts as you sit next to anika. 
Ethan makes his way over and sits down next to you. The order is decided to be anika, mindy, you, ethan, chad then tara. 
As anika takes her turn Chad starts talking to you. "So how long have you and Tara been friends?" You think before answering, "um, I had been working at this place for a couple years and I had heard about her when she was hired. Never got the chance to talk with her until we started working the same shifts. We got along and soon found out we attend the same school. We got the same lab class, she became my partner and she's been bothering me ever since." "Hey." 
"So you've been living in New York your whole life?" Ethan asks, "yup born and raised." Mindy cheers anika up as she misses her shot, Mindy walks up to take her turn, not before giving anika a kiss and anika sits down. “So what are we talking about?” You guys flow into an easy conversation, mostly about yourself, like your major or what your interests are before it's your turn. 
“Can I admit something?” you turn to the group, “I have no clue how to bowl.” Tara looks at you shocked, “No…” You laugh, “I seriously never have before.” “Well I can-” “Ethan can show you how to.” Chad is quick to interrupt anika, the two share a look, “oooooo yeah yeah yeah yeah can definitely show you right ethan.” The rest of them start to encourage him as he gives them a look you can't read. “I don't really care who teaches me, I just wanna throw this thing away.” Ethan stands, “I can do it.” He moves to take off his jacket and you're greeted by the sight of his muscular arms. 
Wow. He really does have muscles.  You stare at his arms as he walks towards you. You've always thought he was cute but he just got so much hotter. His shoulders are large, and the polo on him is tighter than you thought, his chest pressing against the fabric. 
You look at his face finally and see it's very red and he's standing stiff. Oh my god you were blatantly checking him out. you turn your back towards him and go to pick up your ball. The group behind you laughs as Ethan walks towards you. you put your fingers in the holes and pick up the ball.
"So when you're throwing it you want your arm to be straight..." You try to correct your arm position and look at him, "like this?" he shakes his head, "no it's more... um do you mind if i..." you nod as he comes closer to readjusting you himself, his warm body is basically pressed against you as he moves your arms and shoulders slightly. "That's better." It's a small whisper in your ear but your face burns.
God when did he get so hot. No he always was but right now it's all you can think about. Fuck. He moves his hand to cover yours, "and when you throw it it's something like... this." he sways your hand and you let go of the ball. You watch as the ball rolls and it knocks all the pins down. 
"No way." You cheer as you turn to face him, "I did it!" you hug him and he stands stiff. You let go and turn towards the rest of the group who clap. "Good job." "Nice!"
"That was really good." His ears are red as you mumbles out the words. "Well it's all thanks to my wonderful teacher." You smile at him and he looks away, "no...." 
"enough flirting then it's your turn." Mindy yells as the rest of the group laughs. You walk back to the rest of the group and sit down and watch ethan. He stands still for a few seconds before shaking it off and walking towards his ball.
You had no clue what Chad was talking about because Ethan continued to get strikes, if not really good scores for the rest of the night. You're shocked by this and seemingly the rest of the group is too.
When you go to the bathroom the group confronts him."When the hell did you get so good at bowling? Have you been practicing?" Ethans face is shocked and he quickly blinks his eyes and shakes his head, "No..." Chad catches this and laughs, "No way you've really been practicing." "It's not true!" His face feels hot and he quickly looks down at his feet.
"Why did you practice?" Anika asks, "Clearly because he didn't want to humiliate himself in front of his little girlfriend." Tara laughs and Ethan feels like he wants to curl up into a ball and die.
Yes he had been practicing, any hour he could squeeze in since finding out you would be joining them for bowling night he came down to the bowling alley to practice. He was bad, the worst of the group at least and now he can compete with Chad in score. You come back soon enough, you question what they were talking about but they all just laugh.
You cheer as Ethan throws his last strike signifying your win. “We did it!” You hug him as he walks over, unlike last time he hugs you back and squeezes you tightly. You pull back and look at him and smile, “I didn't know you were that good.” 
He smiles sheepishly and shakes his head, “I'm not-” “Yes you are.” You slap his chest lightly and he looks shocked. “Stop putting yourself down, you carried my ass through that game, admit it.” He shakes his head, his grin is large as he looks down, “No-” “Stop it!” You turn back to the rest of the group who all have grins on their face, “What?” 
“Oh nothing.” Tara says as she stands up, “It's later than i thought lets go i have to open tomorrow.” “Do you really? I'm close.” “Shit you're so lucky.”  “Am i really i have to close for your messy ass.” She shoves you and you laugh. 
You all leave together and walk back to the dorns. When you all get there they all turn to you. “You passed congrats.” You look confused, “What?” “I told you guys she was great.” “I wish Sam could have made it.” “What's happening?” “Welcome to the friend group!” You think before realization hits you, “Oh!” You laugh, “Thanks guys.”
They all say their goodbyes and anika gives you a hug before they all walk off to their dorms. Ethan stays with you and fiddles with his hands. “I thought i should walk you to your dorm, its-” “Late, yes it is, thank you my knight in shining armor.” He looks away and you two walk side by side to your dorm.
You admire him, as you two walk in silence. At your door you say goodbye and wave and he waves back at you as you close your door.
It had only been a few weeks since then, study sessions were going really well. You two began to grow closer over the weeks but there still seemed to be something blocking you two from getting closer. As for the friend group, you soon met Sam and Quinn who were more than welcoming to you. You watched as Quinn would tease her brother and how embarrassed he would get when she would tell you embarrassing stories about him from when he was younger. 
You had just finished up a successful study session with ethan and you two walked out the library, you pulled out the container of cookies for him and handed them to him with a smile, “Here you go kind sir.” He smiled and shook his head, “Thank you. You know you don't have to do this for me everytime.” You laugh it off, “I need to thank you somehow.”
He stood there with a contemplating look on his face. It had started to stay lighter outside later in the day so you didn't need him to walk you back to your dorm (He still did) but now he realized you two could do something else instead of just walking home. “Do you want to eat them with me?” You look at him confused, “I mean.. There a cafe down the block we can go there get some coffee or whatever and eat them together.” The look on your face must have sent the wrong message because he immediately starts to back track. “I mean if you want to i don't want to do anything you don't want to its a stupid idea anyway i'll just walk you back to-” “Ethan i'd love to.” He gulps, “Really?” You nod with a grin, “seriously. I mean i made them with browned butter this time they have to be my best batch yet.” You two began to walk side by side to the cafe, you made some small talk about if the group was hanging out tomorrow and he answered that they wanted to go to sams for dinner. When you two arrived he turned and asked if you wanted something to drink, you stared at the menu until something caught your eye and asked for that. He ordered your drink and a hot chocolate for him. He pulls out his card and pays as you insist you should, “You made the cookies let me pay.” You give him a look as you reluctantly agree.
Once you two have your drinks you two decide to sit at one of the benches outside since it was good weather out. He pulls out the container of cookies and admires them, “They do look really good.” “What did you not think they would.” You're kidding but he looks up alarmed, “i didn't mean-” “i'm kidding ethan.” you put a hand on his arm and squeeze it reassuringly.
He smiles and nods as he takes two cookies and hands one to you, “cheers?” you take it and link them together, “Cheers.” 
you both took a bite and he immediately hummed, “this really is so good.” “I know.” you both laugh.
as he dunks his cookie into his hot chocolate you look at him as you think to yourself that he looks so content while eating the cookie.
“Is there a reason why you like cookies?”
he looks up at you with a shocked face, “what?” you shrug, “i mean there are so many other desserts and most people prefer other things so is there a reason? other than that they taste good of course.”
he laughs and shakes his head, “um.” He coughs before he continues, “my mom used to make cookies when i was young.” you look at him shocked he never talks about his mom. “Whenever I would do well on a test or in soccer she would make a big batch of cookies and would sit with me and eat them with me with a big glass of milk.” He laughs with a smile on his face, “whenever i would get a milk mustache she would laugh and wipe it off with the biggest smile on her face.” His voice quiets down and you can see his hands begin to shake.
“ethan.” you grab his hand and squeeze it, “i'm sorry.” he wipes his eyes with his other hand then places it on top of yours. “its okay ethan.” he shakes slightly as he begins to cry, “i miss her, so much.” 
You feel like something is squeezing at you heart as you you watch him you get up from you seat and he looks up at you in shock, you move to sit next to him and wrap your arms around him, “Im so sorry ethan.” he leans into you and cries, “I'm sorry-” “you shouldn't apologize, its okay.” he sniffles as he looks up at you, “Thank you.” 
Your feelings for Ethan grew into something more but you didn't know how to put it in words. You soon understood them when it was the beginning of may, only two more weeks until your final and you were beginning to stress out. Ethan told you not to worry and everything would go well but you couldn't help it. Even though your test scores had improved and you began to understand a lot of the material you couldn't help but worry over the class.
During one of your own personal study sessions in the library you realize you ran out of paper for your binder and needed to go get more. You were standing in the subway waiting for the train to arrive stressed out of your mind, this was the last thing you needed to happen right now and you had no clue how to calm down. Once the train arrived you walked on and realized there were no open seats, of course, great. You walk over to one of the poles but you see Ethan sitting on one of the benches. A wave of unexpected relief flows through your bones seeing him you didn't know why. 
He notices you and smiles, he gestures you towards him and you realize the seat next to him is open just being covered by his bag. You smile in relief and rush over. “Thank you oh my god you're a lifesaver.” He just laughs, “It's not a problem.”
The train begins to move as he turns to you, “So what are you doing out?” You sigh and the worry begins to flood back into your body. “I was studying econ and then I ran out of paper for my binder so I have to go get some and I'm just so stressed out because I need to do well-” “Hey.” He places his hand on yours and you turn to him.
He's giving you a pleading look as he squeezes your hand, “Please relax,” You sigh, “I cant-” “Yes you can just relax, hey… um i'll come with you to go get the binder paper.” “Really?” “Yeah definitely.”
You smile at him, “Okay.” Now feeling a little more calm you look in your bag for your airpods to listen to some music but soon realize you left them at your dorm. You groan and set your back down by your feet causing Ethan to look at you alarmed, “I left my earbuds at my dorm.”
He looks down at the phone in his hair and hesitates before taking out the other airpod he wasn't wearing from his case and handing it to you, “Here you can… listen with me, if you want to I mean.” You look at his case and realize he has one of the cheetos airpod cases and laugh before looking back at him and taking it, “Thank you, cute case.” 
He looks at it and shakes his head before shoving it in his bag, “Quinn got it for me.”
You put the airpod in and are immediately stunned, “Taylor swift?” He had been listening to all the girls you loved before and he suddenly looked down at his phone, “I can change it-” “No i was just shocked i like this song.” 
While you sat next to him you felt a sense of peace wash over you and you relaxed for what was probably the first time this whole week. You lean against him unconsciously and feel him stiffen before he relaxes. You realize his hand is still on yours and you lace your fingers with his as you close your eyes. No you weren't tired, you just wanted to bask in his presence for a moment with his heartbeat near your ear and his breath tickling your head. 
You liked him. It didn't hit you like an unexpected realization; it felt freeing to finally put what you were feeling into words. You smile to yourself and move closer to him.
It's been another week since then and you were struggling to decide if you were really going to confess at the end of the school year. You had decided since the school year is almost over and He would be going home for the summer and you wouldn't be able to see him so if you confessed and he rejected you it wouldn't be as awkward because he would leave and you two wouldnt see each other again until the new school year but the idea of him never talking to you again made you feel sick.
It was the last wednesday of the school year, the last day before your last study session with ethan which was also the last day before your econ test. There was a party, you didn't know who was throwing it but Tara practically begged you to come so here you were sitting on a couch next to anika as you two were chatting. “I told you that dress would look super cute on you.” “Thanks anika.” You looked around the room for the one person you were hoping to see, “Where's ethan?” Anika sits up and looks around before shrugging, “I have no clue.” 
You begin to worry as you frantically look and can't find him, “I'm gonna go look for him.” Anika nods as you get up and begin making your way through the party.
Your about to turn a corner before you freeze at the voice you hear, “Ask her out man.” Chad.  “No way i've told you this” Ethan. Who was he talking about? “C'mon man you're hot as hell just ask her out already.”
All you can hear is ethan sigh, “She doesn't-” “Oh shut up man just ask her out.” Who the hell are they talking about? Does Ethan like somebody? A pit forms in your stomach as all you can feel is dread. “Shes sitting over there man ask her out.” Now you feel sick, there's somebody Ethan likes, and it's not you. You back up and walk away. You head back to anika who has your bag and gives you an alarmed look at your upset face as you grab your bag from her side. “Is something wrong? What happened?” You shake your head as your eyes water, you attempt to say something but you can't. As she moves to stand up you rush out of the house. You can't be in there anymore, the amount of heartbreak you feel is miserable and you aren't even dating the guy.
You rush back to your dorm and lean against the door as you shut it. This is so embarrassing, here you are sitting and crying over him while he probably walked over to that person and asked them out. You managed to make it to your bed and flop on it, crying yourself to sleep.
“Have you guys seen y/n?'' Anika had come up to them frantically as Chad and Ethan remained talking against the wall. Chad had been begging Ethan to finally ask you out all night but Ethan kept on refusing. He couldn't risk what you two have especially since it meant so much to him. What had started out as a simple infatuation had turned into so much more, you meant so much to him and to lose you would be horrid.
“No? Is something wrong? Thought she was sitting with you.” Chad took a sip of his drink after he answered, “She went to go looking for e, then she came back and looked like she was about to cry then she ran out.” ethan felt sick, had some guy said something to you? “Like she ran out of the house? Shit.” Chad put down his drink and turned towards ethan, “You gotta go look for her man.” “Please e? Im really worried.” Ethan put down his drink and walked away before they could say anything else. “I'm gonna ask around.” “Me too.”
Shit. you weren't answering your phone, “please answer please” he was mumbling and shaking his phone as if that could make you answer. He decided to just fuck it and run to your dorm to see if you were there. He knew the route like the back of his hand and he was booking it full speed. He was worried about you and was praying you were alright. Once he got to your dorm he pounded at the door, he knew you had a solo room luckily since your roommate transferred out in the beginning of the second semester and no one came to fill it. He calls you names to no answer, after a couple of minutes he's defeated and texts you if you're still at the party when the door opens and he quickly looks up at you.
Who the hell is pounding at your door? You don't know how long you've been asleep, it couldn't have been that long since it was still dark out. Annoyed and not wanting to talk to anybody, you attempt to block out the noise until you hear his voice. Ethan.
He was here and calling for you. you sat up quickly and walked towards the door before you stopped hesitantly in front of the door. What did he want? You didn't want to answer, just ignore him and move on but he sounded worried so you opened him. His face was red and his eyes were watery, he was breathing heavily, looked like he was out of breath, did he run all the way here? Seeing you he let out a sigh of relief. ‘Ethan-” “Are you alright?” You look at him alarmed. “Yeah um did something happen?”
 It's awkward to look at or to talk to him but he can't seem to notice that right now, “Anika was worried she said you ran out looking upset.” Now you feel embarrassed, looking down at your feet, “Did somebody say something to you? Did something happen?-” You couldn't listen to him anymore, all you wanted to do is blurt it out but knowing it would ruin everything you can't, maybe you should just do it. You open your mouth but you quickly close it. You need to have him tutor you tomorrow. The day before the big test. You need him just for one more day. then you can set him free. “Im… im okay i promise, i'm sorry for worrying you, all of you.” You think over your next words carefully so as to not let the things you truly want to say split out. “I just was getting overwhelmed, parties are so loud you know?” You try to laugh but at the look on his face you stop and look down.
He walks closer and tries to grab your hands but you pull them away and try to smile at him, “Im really tired.” He now looks like he's about to cry, “Please be honest with me, did something happen? Is somebody bothering you?” Yes. “No, i promise.” What a liar. He looks like he wants to say more but if he really does he keeps his mouth shut and nods. 
“We still on for tomorrow?” You hate yourself for asking but you need to make sure you haven't ruined anything. He looks at you confused, “Of course?” You nod and move towards your door, “Do you need anything I'm here-” “No really, it's okay Goodnight.” You don't wait for his response as you shut the door, the tears at their breaking point as you lean your head against the door. Why can't this just be easier?
He stares at the place you were once standing with a sad look on his face. You were lying, he could tell that easily but about what? He stands there and contemplates over it, maybe something did happen or maybe it.. Was something he did? No that couldn't be right, you two were acting perfectly normal this morning. But why were you acting like that with him now? You were never that stiff, you shut him out. It was weird and he didn't like it at all, he felt the urge to knock on the door again and comfort you, bring you into his arms so you can talk all out but he knows that that's not what you must want so he leaves.
He lets Chad know he won't be showing back up to the party and that you're fine. He hopes that when he goes to bed this will all be just a bad dream and tomorrow when he arrives at your study session everything will be just fine.
It is not just fine. It started off simple. You didn't text him in the morning like you always did. You arrive five minutes late which is odd since you're always the one that arrives first, you give the excuse you slept in late. He doesn't believe you but keeps his mouth shut. Worst of all you didn't make him any cookies this time. It became a habit, after every session you would give him a container of cookies (and a side one specifically for chad since he liked them so much) as a thank you. The session is awkward and very to the point, when he tries to joke with you like usual you brush him off and ask him to move on to the next topic. He felt awful, he asked you if something was wrong but you just said it was nothing. You had even wrapped up the session early, it was barely hitting four when you called it. 
“Im just tired.” You pack up your things and give him a brief goodbye and rush to leave. He watches you go before he realizes he needs to do something, he cant let your relationship deteriorate like this. He runs after you and grabs your arm as you're standing outside. 
“Ethan-” “I like you.” You look frozen as you stare at him, “I'm sorry if I did something wrong but I just want to get back to the way we were and I need you to know this now. You can forget about it-” “Ethan”
You try to interrupt him like you always do but he stops you, “Please.” His expression softens, “I need to do this.” You hesitate before you nod, he takes both of your hands in his as if he's afraid you're going to run away. “You can forget all about this if you want to but just know i like you so much and i hate this strain between us, whatever it is. Please tell me what i've done wrong so i can fix it and we can move on and you can make me more of your cookies and you can crack dumb econ jokes about the topics we're talking about or you can complain about your shift at work with tara and how she can never restock properly. Please tell me what i did wrong.” hes begging you, squeezing your hands so tightly, as he locks eyes with you, all you can feel is sincerity and love.
“Then who was the girl?” You ask as your voice wavers, he looks at you shocked, “What girl?” Your eyes water too, “I overheard you at the party.” He tilts his head confused, “What?” “At the party, when Chad was encouraging you to go ask the girl out.” He relaxes and gulps. “I was going to come find you, then I heard you and I just felt like shit because I was..” You trail off as he looks at you expectantly, “I was going to tell you that I like you.” His eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock, “Not that day of course tomorrow after the econ test.” “I was talking about you.” You shake your head, “Chad said she was sitting right there. I was sitting there.” He shakes his head, “no no no no no we couldn't see the couch from where we were standing so he was just pointing in the direction of the couch i swear i had thought you were there. I was talking about you. I only have eyes for you, for as long as I've known you it's always been you.”
You can only look at him in shock at the sincerity of his words and you move closer to him. You rip your hands from his and he has a really apologetic look on his face, as he's about to apologize you pull his face to meet yours and you kiss. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest as you feel love and relief as he kisses you back. He grabs your face and pulls you closer if that's even possible. You pull apart, breathing heavy as you two stare lovingly at each other with a smile. “I'm sorry ethan.” He shakes his head and gives you another kiss before answering. “You have nothing to apologize for.” 
You smile at him, “soo…?” You're looking at him expectantly as he looks confused, “So?’ you scoff and shove him, “You're really bad at this.” Now he looks really confused, “Ugh. Ethan, will you be my boyfriend?” Now his eyes widen as he opens and closes his mouth like a fish. You laugh as you look at his red face. After a minute he manages to calm down, “Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend.” You two smile at kisses. You finally feel like you can breathe, this was perfect.
The next day you're in a large room writing in the last answer to the econ test. Ethan had finished earlier than you, that morning he promised to wait for you outside so once you hand it your test you rush out to see him and the rest of your friends. You see him and he turns to you and smiles as you make it to him he picks you up and twirls you around as you laugh. “So??? How did you do?!” Anika asks you with a big smile on her face. You keep your eyes locked on Ethan and his grinning face. “I think I did great, all thanks to my wonderful tutor.” 
He shakes his head, “No, it was all you, beautiful.” You two kiss. 
--
a/n: I hope you guys like this !!
tags: @bajadotcom
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imnotlauriane · 3 months
Text
THE CHOICES THAT WE MAKE
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HUMAN/HYBRID! BTS X HUMAN! READER SOULMATES/HYBRIDS/ANGST AU
Chapter 13 (4.5k words)
For more information about this story, find it here
Here's another chapter! Yayay!
"Stop biting your nails, Y/N. You always end up regretting it at the end of the day".
I ignore San from my desk as my feet continually tap on the marble floor, my gaze locked on the shut door and my teeth chewing on my nails in a bad habit, the tingling that hasn't stopped in my mark since I saw two of my soulmates earlier keeping me on edge, tensed and nervous.
I obviously let the test's supervisor know to send them to me once they'd be done, and here I am, waiting anxiously until they would finally knock on the door of my office.
What were the odds of me ever meeting new soulmates here? How easily could I have missed them had I not personally insisted to hire them upon seeing their presentation letter, or if I hadn't accepted to give a speech?
To be honest, there wasn't much to see concerning their work experience prior to here, not by lack of efforts but by lack of opportunities, but that didn't really matter to me, though everyone else on board seemed uncertain.
I didn't know why I was so intent on hiring them, but the character of who they appeared to be as they wrote about themselves really convinced me of giving them a try. I found in their words a strong desire to be part of a positive change in the world, and their trust in me had made me feel incredibly warm.
But for them to be my soulmates? It indeed shows that fate is always knowing and calculated, this was no accident.
When a knock finally resounds onto the door, I'm on my feet before I can take my next breath, and San smoothly opens it to reveal the two men who clearly look just as nervous as I am, seeing as they're both a little pale and rigid in their posture.
The dog hybrid allows them inside, and we share a silent gaze before he nods his head, his own way of encouraging me before he exits my office to leave us alone, knowing that I wouldn't have it any other way.
It's overwhelmingly quiet when the door closes on him, and my heart doubles in speed when it finally understands that I'm left alone to deal with two people who are obviously part of a bond that I had to reject so long ago.
My soulmark reacts to their presence, but the connection is blocked, resulting in a thrumming pain, as if something is trying to push through a closed wall, a window so dirty that the sun cannot seep through it anymore.
I rejected the bond when I had no other choice, and now I have to accept it back into my life, starting with these two. Motioning for the couches before my desk, I try a small smile before inviting them to have a seat.
"Hoseok, Seokjin, thank you for coming here despite how busy you must be this morning. Please, make yourselves comfortable. Can I offer you anything to drink? Coffee? Tea, maybe? How... how was the test? I trust it was easy to answer?" I ask them nervously as they sit down, the two of them side by side while I move to stand at the front of my desk, my marked and gloved hand resting over my other elbow as it keeps burning with the glow of a soul blockage.
"Erm... no, but thank you, I'll be fine. As for the test, it went well. The questions were clear and with purpose so I'm sure we'll end up in a department that suits us well" the human, Hoseok, answers with a small voice, his hazelnut eyes searching into mine with a purpose of their own, as does the eagle with the golden eyes, Seokjin.
The latter nods to confirm Hoseok's points, and I take it as permission to go sit in front of them empty-handed, at the other side of the coffee table so I can face the two of them and see them properly.
I make a light hum, heart thumping away in my chest. I don't know what to say, how to react, or how to behave. It's been so long since I was last so close to another piece of my soul and it now feels like unknown territory.
"That's good... just know that if you're ever unhappy with where you end up, there's nothing wrong with asking to switch to another department. Trying different things until you find where you belong is something we encourage, as long as it's well thought through" I let them know, it's stronger than me to talk about work since it's all I know to talk about, and the awkward silence resumes, enough to make me squirm on my couch.
I twist my fingers tightly as I try to calm my heartbeat, but my clammy hands have started to cause my glove to stick to my skin in an annoying manner and the idea of removing it for all to see has me breaking into a more intense cold sweat. It's been years since I last allowed anyone to look at it.
What a pitiful sight I must be showing them right now... not anything like the cool persona that I wanted to show them were I able to hold myself proudly.
I rather feel like a child who needs to explain why she destroyed the garden when it was still beautiful.
"Is this what you wanted to talk about? You wanted to talk about our tests?" Seokjin finally speaks up with a light bite to his tone that speaks of his disappointment, and I feel smaller than ever under his sharp staring, he's not happy, is he?
Of course not... they're finding out that the CEO they're to work for is their soulmate and that there's a problem with our bond, of which I am the cause, whether they can feel it or not yet to be seen.
Still, my glove speaks for itself, it's easy to tell that I'm hiding something.
"No... no. That's not what I wanted to talk about, not why I called you here" I sigh softly before staring at my covered hand, and after one long exhale, I pinch on one finger to pull the glove off, which reveals the pulsating red skin that covers my sensitive palm.
I caress the tender skin softly, eyes burning and blurring over once I see the flowers that once linked me to the men of my childhood staring back at me lifelessly. The mark looks so different from when I first got it, achingly so.
"Something happened before us, right?" his voice is gentle this time, and I clench my jaw to keep it from trembling as a lump takes place in my throat.
I sniffle before looking up at them with a forced smile, but it doesn't reach my eyes, I can see on their faces that they don't believe it.
It feels like they can read through me too easily this morning, and it makes me wonder just how much of an open book I've become, or if they're simply too observant, like San.
Jungkook could always read me easily too, but my mask was far better built back then, it felt easier to show him what I wanted him to know, rather than now where these two can see what I don't want them to know.
It feels like I've gotten bad at hiding my emotions when it really matters, and it makes me feel terrible, because I still wish I could show them only my smile and not my problems, to keep them from worrying.
But now isn't about that, is it? It's not about me, or them, it's about telling the truth about the real state of our incomplete bond, for they deserve an explanation to the state of our imperfect soulmarks.
"I met four of our soulmates when I was younger. Very kind men, so kind" I finally whisper out an answer, and they both remain silent, though their eyes speak for themselves.
They can hear the pain and longing in my voice, and they don't understand why it hurts so much already.
"Jungkook was my first. He went to the same school as me and we were... inseparable. We were sixteen at the time, if I remember right. Gosh, I can't believe that was fourteen years ago... time goes by so fast when you keep yourself busy".
I chuckle drily, no humor in the sound that leaves me. I've given him love for two years, then hurt him for the next twelve? It might not have been within my control, but it still makes me feel like the worst soulmate on earth.
"What happened... Y/N? Can I call you by name?" Hoseok asks softly as he leans over, needing to know more about our other pieces, and I nod my head quickly, a finger catching a few stray tears before they fall down my cheeks.
"Yes, yes of course, the both of you can call me anything you want. And it's... complicated. When I was in high school, I took the pill to get my soulmark early, and my parents... well, let's say that they had their flaws. Very ugly flaws that I couldn't accept to see in my own reflection.
"Before leaving home for school that day, my mother made sure to tell me to pray so I wouldn't get a hybrid soulmate. I didn't listen to her. I wasn't going to reject the other half of my soul, so even after learning that I had hybrid soulmates, I held my ground. That didn't go so well".
I sigh deeply, not liking to reminisce about that time of my life. It makes me feel angry, so much anger. Hoseok and Seokjin aren't breathing, unable to fill their lungs when what they hear keeps them on edge, heart pounding at the pain that they can see etched onto my face.
"They got really angry at me and decided to stop treating me like their daughter from then on. I honestly lost count of how many times they beat me up for liking these men so strongly, as if throwing me against a wall was ever going to change my mind. I was supposed to choose the people that hurt me the most over the people that loved me so tenderly, just because they had animal attributes? How ridiculous, right?".
I hear the way Seokjin's wings flutter uncomfortably behind him, the ruffling of his feathers loud in the air that surrounds us, and he speaks up next, his questions leading me straight to the center of my misery, punches to my guts is what they are.
"If you all loved each other so much... if you fought for them to that extent, why is your flower dead, Y/N? Why are you not still with them? Why didn't you leave your parents behind to stay with them instead? Didn't they try to help you?".
I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. I can hear the confusion in his voice, it makes no sense that I would reject the bond after all, if I really wanted to fight for it.
I understand why they would think that way, I would've been no different in their shoes.
"They didn't know what it was like at home for me. I didn't want to worry them, I felt like it was my battle to fight, not theirs. We'd talked about moving in together, all of us. Jungkook and I were too young at first so the others asked us to be patient, and I did, however hard it was. Then we turned eighteen. We got so close... but it was already too late".
I hesitate for a moment longer before letting them know about the very thing that made my soul into ruins of itself.
"Something bad happened one day as I got home from work, some trouble my parents had gotten into without my knowledge, and they left before it got worse. I ended up having to deal with it on my own just like everything else, and I was taken away by strangers without my consent. My parents fled with my brother and his soulmate, and I knew right away that they'd abandoned me".
I frown as I remember the way I'd felt. Like I was expecting that day to come eventually. It had been disappointing, but not surprising.
"I later overheard a conversation from my captors that I wasn't meant to hear. Since they couldn't find my parents, they were going to have to keep me to get what they were owed, and that meant they couldn't have people look for me.
"They said something about whether they should kill my soulmates or not, to get them out of the way, or something like that anyway. I don't remember in details, it was so long ago. I just remember that I got really scared for their safety".
I swallow a thick lump in my throat, then stare up at the two men who are staring at me with parted lips and disbelief all over their faces, shock engraved into every one of their expressions.
"The outcome was simple. I either had to reject the bond or they would kill the four men whom I'd grown to love so deeply, and I couldn't accept that my messed up life could take the lives of the only people who truly cared for me. I did the only thing that made sense. I rejected them at a park, and then I disappeared from the picture".
There, I said it, finally.
It's bitter, thick and pungent, a truth that I've hidden for so long, but I could finally let it out and... it feels good, if only a little.
"I rejected the bond to protect them, it was all I could do at the time, and even if I wish I could've done differently, I don't regret it. It kept them alive, and that's all that really matters" I continue as they process my admission with round eyes, lips pressing thinly in dismay.
They weren't expecting death to come up in that conversation, that and my kidnapping - because that's what it was, isn't it? I was kidnapped - and to know that I had to go through so much because of my parents makes them hate them more than they can put into words.
They have so many questions still, but none of them feel right to ask right now.
There's so much to process, but the shock makes it hard to think properly.
"I honestly wasn't supposed to see any of my soulmates again after that day, wasn't supposed to allow anyone back into my life because of how dangerous it had gotten but... things happened and I earned my freedom anew, without all the danger that followed me for so long, hence why I called you here today. I'm sure it's hard to believe but... I truly had only the best intentions when I rejected them that day".
And it was, still to this day, the hardest thing I ever did.
I don't know what I'm expecting of them as I wait for an answer, anything.
Will they get angry at me because of what I did? Maybe they'll feel so bad for our other soulmates that they'll reject me too, cut me off the bond entirely so that I never get a chance to hurt anyone ever again.
I wouldn't be mad if that's what they choose to do, I more than deserve it. I hurt the men I love, the men bound to me by fate.
I hurt not only them, but the bond as well. There's very little I can do to fix the past, but as uncertain as the future seems, I want to hope for a chance to repair the impacts of what I was forced to do.
"That must have been so hard".
I slowly raise my head to stare at them dumbly at those words, my mask cracking at the edges as I hear something that I never hoped to hear from any of my soulmates.
I don't know how much of my deepest darkness seeps through, a forgotten waterfall that flowed without end in the loneliest part of my soul, one that never saw the light no matter how much I longed for it, still to this day cold like ice.
I don't know how much of it manages to seep out onto my face during that short moment, nor if they even understand the complexity of what they're currently offering me.
I did not believe compassion was possible towards me, or maybe it was my fear speaking, that I might be fed the same betrayal that I offered the four men of my younger years, yet here he is, offering me exactly what I needed.
Hoseok slowly and carefully stands up from his couch, then walks around the coffee table to sit by my side, and after a short hesitation that feels like an eternity to me, time slowed down as I stare at him, he pulls me into a hug.
Such a simple act and he stuns me into emotions that I had to push as far back as possible to avoid breaking down when I was still with Hae-in and his men, barriers that held strong even after I left.
So gentle in the way he holds me, his flowery perfume cradling my senses into an embrace that I had missed so dearly, and I suddenly crumble so fast in his hug that none of us could've seen it coming were it not for their sharp eyes taking in my every moves.
"I didn't want to hurt them, I loved them so much" I manage to utter before breaking into teary sobs, and Hoseok hugs me tighter with tears flowing from his eyes, little pearly drops that also find place on Seokjin's face, the eagle still on the other couch and staring with a broken heart.
They didn't understand everything that I said, not much of it made sense, not to them.
They can't possibly imagine how it could've felt to face a situation where rejecting the people they loved the most was the only way to save their lives, could never have been pushed into such a situation to begin with, but what they can see is that doing so isolated me into a spiny cage that continues hurting me today, and it hurts them too.
Can't they open the door to that cage now that they're here? Haven't I suffered enough?
A soft wing curls around my side gently and I startle a little, only to then truly bawl my eyes out when Seokjin eventually presses himself onto my back to join the hug.
This has got to be safest cocoon I've ever been granted in all of my life, because it feels like the young me is finally opening her eyes for the very first time in too long.
She'd been shivering in the water of that dark waterfall for so long, and now there's finally a warm hand pulling her out of it, while another one holding a towel gently dries her skin and tears.
I hadn't realized how much I needed this until they gave it to me, and I already know that I can't live like that anymore.
I can't stay away from my soulmates anymore, not when I finally got their touch back into my life. My soul longed for this so dearly that it would definitely shatter and die if my soul pieces were to be taken away a second time.
"There, there. It's going to be okay, now. Everything will be okay" Seokjin murmurs gently with his cheek resting over my head and a hand patting over my arm, brows knitted together in anger for what was lived and done, so much pain that went uncared for.
They felt pain too, during the long years of being alone, but they didn't have to live with an intense guilt and regret. They were impatient, nearly on the verge of giving up, but they didn't have to live with such a terrible past.
Fate truly can be mean sometimes.
"It's going to be okay, now... I'm sure everything will get fixed. Shhh... it's okay".
---
It takes me what feels like an hour just to calm down, the tears that streamed down my cheeks often caressed by soft and warm fingers and enough to push me into more sobs and tears, as if there was no way out of it anymore.
As if years of suffering had finally seen the light and needed to push their way out as fast as possible before the doors would close again. The waterfall finally lost of its water, and the suffering didn't want to have to go back when they could finally be freed.
It takes me a long while before I can find the strength to calm down, or maybe it only happens when my soul deems that I have cried enough.
The way that my sobs slowly turn into hiccups and sniffles, and then into silence, everything following a pace out of any of our control.
It felt natural at first, to be between them like this, and yet, I now find myself burning with embarrassment as I slowly come to process that I kept my face in Hoseok's neck all along, body pressed into his own as Seokjin covered the expense of my back with his broad chest, wings closed around us to keep us safe and warm.
I sniffle softly, lips pinched together as I begin to wonder how to bring an end to this form of cuddling without messing anything up. I don't want them to believe that I am uncomfortable with them, but I am indeed uncomfortable, if only emotionally.
I showed them much more than I was willing to, for I don't believe I have ever cried in front of anyone before. Admitting that I was in pain was... hard to begin with, so this? No, I am definitely out of my comfort zone.
I shift a little to wipe my burning face with a hand, and they both take it as a sign to move back slightly, themselves a little awkward now that it's over. Their brain just had to take that moment to remember that they're holding their boss.
Not quite the best thing to think of when holding their soulmate so closely.
I look down at my feet as we all move and sit properly on the same couch, eyes avoiding each other as if cringe is our new body language. Goodness... what a situation we find ourselves in.
I clear my throat, quickly glance at the two of them, then suddenly find myself snorting at the ridiculousness of what we look like right now.
Still, it's a relief to see that my soulmark is already looking better, though it's not fully healed.
Two of the once pale flowers have gained in darkness, and it makes a comforting warmth bloom in my chest, my lips stretching in a way that hadn't happened in a long time.
They both look up at the sound of my small laugh, and their lips immediately stretch into pretty smiles, bodies relaxing upon seeing that I look like I'm feeling better.
"There you go, a real smile, finally" Hoseok muses as he gazes at me, eyes creased as he takes in my more relaxed form, and he raises a hand to wipe the remnant of tears on my skin as if the most natural thing he's ever done.
I feel myself blush like a young girl, and I cover a part of my face with an exasperated sigh that makes Seokjin grin.
"Gosh, I don't know if I should be embarrassed or thankful for what just happened. I'm so sorry for crying like a baby, that's not like me to do something like that" I ultimately apologize with a low bow that none of them accepts when they shake their head just as fast.
"No need to be sorry for anything, I'm sure you needed it. Besides, it seemed to do something to the bond as well. Look".
I bring my gaze to the hand that Seokjin shows me, and the relief I feel upon seeing that my flower on his hand has also gained back in colour is indescribable. I show them my own palm so they can see how my mark was impacted too, and they lean over with sparkling eyes at seeing the change.
"The bond is healing" I say with a bubbly feeling in the pit of my stomach that expresses itself by coming out into a small gleeful laugh, a sound that makes their guts flutter and their souls feel all sweet.
"It's not all of them, obviously, but your flowers already look better and it's a lot more than I thought possible".
Hoseok hums softly, hands taking my fingers gently to observe my mark from closer, though I have a doubt it's only an excuse to get to touch me again. That makes me smile a little, that's something Jimin would have done.
"That means you can heal the bond with the others as well, isn't that great? All hope is not lost" he comments with a happy tone that matches the joy spread all over his face, and I nod my head despite the worry that comes back to gnaw at me about the successfulness of such a project.
"They might not want me back, though" I inform them, smile falling as I observe my mark from where he's holding my hand. And if they don't want me back, my soulmark will never fully heal, will it?
"There's only one way to find out".
With a frown, I stare at the gorgeous eagle. He looks too confident right now as he says those words, as he holds my gaze, and I don't know what to make of it. I wish I could be that confident too.
He taps his mark with a finger, wings still and at ease behind him.
"The group chat for soul bonds. Hoseok and I will register our marks into the system, and once we've received the link for the chat, we'll tell them about you and that you're with us. That ought to work, no?".
Oh, right. The chat, of course. Their access won't be locked like mine.
I wilt a bit as I let my thoughts wander further than necessary, because what if they do hate me and want nothing with me again? What if hearing about me only makes them shut the door tight? "What will you do if they reject me?".
My voice sounds weaker than intended, but Hoseok and Seokjin reach out to hold my hands with reassuring smiles that remind me of the others, such kind smiles they have.
"No matter what happens, Y/N, we'll fix the soulbond so we can all be together".
"You're not going to be left behind, not if we have a say about this".
NEXT
204 notes · View notes
mrsrookhunt · 11 months
Note
Hello! I saw your request was open and I wasn’t sure what to really think of
So maybe a general or simple nsfw hc of Yandere Chuuya?
My first ask! Of course! ❤ I added more characters for the sake of making a well-rounded post, but I gave chuuya a bonus scenario :) Enjoy!
Yan!Bsd Men in Bed
NSFW!!
(Short post, feel free to request more characters)
Pairings: Chuuya Nakahara, H.P. Lovecraft, Mushitaro Oguri, Jouno Saigiku
Chuuya Nakahara
Warnings: punishment, manipulation, yandere, kinks mention, violence mentioned/implied
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Chuuya is nice in bed, mostly.
He's powerful, and not afraid to be the dominant one, but he is still very respectful of your boundaries. He feels very guilty for the way he's treated you, so protectively, in his eyes. But you've grown tired of it, and he knows; so, as not to anger you further, he tries to make you as in control as possible.
Chuuya will do whatever you'd like, so long as he still gets to be the one in charge. He'll indulge your kinks or let you explore with him, permitting it doesn't cross his own boundaries (but considering the fact that you're willing to be intimate with him at all, he isn't too picky).
Definitely into degradation and BDSM, but he's fine if you're uncomfortable with that. Only occasionally will he ask you to do something that steps outside of your comfort zone, and it's usually for special occasions, like his birthday or holidays. I feel like mirror sex would be a special anniversary treat with him.
He's only rough with you if you ask or more like plead, or if you need punishment .
Chuuya doesn't take sexual punishment (or any punishment) lightly, but if you've pushed him far enough.... He may torture you in very unexpected ways.
You think, for a moment, that you're in trouble. You fucked up, you fucked up so bad. Chuuya slammed the front door behind you, with a blatant fury that made you jump.
"Please, Chuuie, I'm sorry-- don't- don't do anything rash now-"
"Don't tell me what the FUCK to do in my own home."
He cornered you into the kitchen, snatching your arm and bending you over the center counter.
"Tell me how sorry you are.' His voice was soft, quiet. Testing.
"I'm sorry--I'm- really s-sorry" You choked out from between sobs. You had never seen it coming, the violence, the anger, the sheer reaction, to your misdeed.
The cold granite countertops cut into your stomach with the chill and pressure. You squeezed your eyes shut as he reached for his back pocket, the one with his knife.
You gasped when a small, shockingly fast-paced vibrator was placed on your thigh. Out of all the things you thought he could and would do to you, this was not one.
He put his hand on your other thigh, making you involuntarily moan.
"I'm going to show you the true meaning of punishment tonight."
H.P. Lovecraft
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Lovecraft essentially has no idea what he's doing in bed; he understands the concept in theory, but he really still feels lost. His sense of clinginess and protectiveness doesnt carry over into the bedroom, and is lost on everyone but you, so you're the only one who can guide him in this matter.
He gives you the most doe-eyed look if you ask if he ever considered sexual punishments. He doesn't really understand why sex is used for pleasure or pain; he finds procreation to be the only benefit to him.
Overall, getting him into bed with you is the biggest challenge, but once you've got him there, you can change his life; and you certainly will.
He's not a man to make much noise or fuss, but he's absolutely blissed out, and wonders how he has not understood this aspect of life before.
By the time you're done, he's more attached to you than ever, curling you into his arms and refusing to let go. You've shown him just one more reason to love you as much as he does, and keep you from showing anyone else the same kindness.
Mushitaro Oguri
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Mushitaro finds sex in general an indecent act for most anything. That isn't to say he doesn't have urges like everyone else, but for the sake of his meticulous regimen, he will squish them down until he absolutely cannot control himself anymore.
You're both the source of his frustrations and the perfect release. Mushitaro is completely in control in bed, just like he is in every aspect of your life together.
Mushitaro can be kinkier than most men; casual choking, roleplay, and some hardcore BDSM can be in the cards for you depending on how far he's gone to deny himself previously.
That being said, your needs also often don't get met. You don't like to ignore yourself the way he does, but he forces you to. You're not allowed any toys, he has SafeSearch on for google, and you are routinely scolded on the indecency of self-pleasure, regardless of whether he's caught you or not.
Mushitaro's demanding and high maitenence personality makes him one of the worst in the sexual part of your relationship.
He rarely considers sexual punishment, unless the circumstances are juussst right. I.e, if you've been caught touching yourself in any way, shape or form, and Mushitaro's already been hot around the collar, he may be rougher and more cruel in bed than normal just to teach you a lesson.
Jouno Saigiku
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Joun-bug's high sex drive makes him a worthwhile adversary in the bedroom. Much like Chuuya, he wants to be in control; but more than wanting to, he will be in control.
He'll push you to the brink of absolute pleasure and then throw you down and tell you how worthless you are until you beg and plead and go through whatever torture he has planned to get him to finish you off.
Jouno is always going to be... well, Jouno. He'll sadistically torture you in every way he can possibly exploit in bed for his own pleasure, and he doesn't give a damn whether you're comfortable with it or not. Remember, his composure and sweet smile is a farce he hides behind; and he'll show you his true self when he feels it's appropriate and necessary.
Maybe he'll be gentle with you, if you've been put through enough and he feels you deserve it. He does love you, but his desires take priority. If you've gone through whatever he had planned for his own pleasure, he may indulge in yours.
Sexual punishment is the worst with him; he takes absolutely no mercy on you, and punishes you often, for the smallest of things.
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yamujiburo · 10 months
Text
✨YAMUJIBURO F.A.Q.✨
Should've made this a while ago! I'm starting to get a lot of the same questions in my inbox nowadays tho and I feel bad for clogging up y'all's timelines with the same questions haha
GENERAL QUESTIONS
Who are you?
I'm Kiana, I'm a queer, Japanese Jamaican woman, and a Director/Storyboard artist at Disney Television Animation.
What are your pronouns
I usually go by she/her but I don't really mind any pronouns~
Where did you go to school?
California College of the Arts (but I dropped out when I was hired at Disney)
How did you get hired at Disney?
My bosses found me on twitter through my Team Rocket fanart. They liked my drawing style and asked if I wanted to take a storyboard test. I did, I passed, I got interviewed and moved to LA two weeks later to start storyboarding.
Is this a repost blog??
No, you might know be better as @kianamaiart. This is just my Pokémon sideblog where I post exclusively (for the most part) Team Rocket and Pokémon art.
What does your username mean?
It's a combination of the main 4 Team Rocket members' Japanese names: Yamato (cassidy), Musashi (jessie), Kojiro (james), Kosaburo (butch)
What program and brush do you use to draw?
Default brush in Storyboard pro
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GENERAL POKEMON QUESTIONS
Who's your favorite Pokémon?
What are your favorite ships?
Any ship with Jessie. Yamushipping, Rocketshipping and Hanamusashipping are my top three!
Who do you ship Ash with?
I was a big Pokéshipper when I was younger but nowadays don't really feel strongly about any of the ships involving the kid characters. I'm also in the "Ash is aroace" camp.
Do you have any trans headcanons?
You can find em here along with other headcanons! It should be noted that I don't usually marry myself to one hc (unless it's for a specific AU I'm trying to build out) and love seeing various interpretations of a character! Trans woman Jessie, Trans woman James, Trans man James, Genderfluid Jessie, give em to me!
Do you play the games?
I've played all the mainline Pokémon games and very much enjoy them! But I am much more invested in the anime and the characters in the anime.
**************************************
HANAMUSA AU QUESTIONS
Where can I read all the comics in order?
Here! I update anytime I make a new comic and list them in chronological order (since I just draw comics at random points in the timeline as they interest me). This post also already answers some of the frequently asked questions about this AU like: How did Jessie and Delia meet? What are James and Meowth up to? How old are Jessie and Delia? etc.
What does "Hanamusa" mean?
Hanamusa is a combination of Delia and Jessie's Japanese names, Hanako and Musashi respectively.
When does this AU take place?
It takes place sometime after the Mezase Pokémon Master/To Be a Pokémon Master series. So all the events that happened in the series, unless retconned within the series, happened. Ash is 10 at the start of the comics.
What's the status between Jessie, James, Meowth and Giovanni/Team Rocket?
Not great terms since they were fired, but also not the worst terms. Giovanni just let the three of them go without any further issues. I will say that I've always loved the theory that Giovanni keeps Jessie specifically around because of her parentage and he as a soft spot for her that he keeps a secret. I feel like Matori was the one that got the three of them fired and Giovanni wasn't able to make an excuse for them this time (without showing nepotism/special treatment) so he was forced to let them go.
If you headcanon Delia as a lesbian, how did Ash come to be?
Delia was young when she had Ash and I hc that she just didn’t really explore her sexuality much! I myself didn’t realized I liked women until I was 18 and didn’t know I liked ONLY women until like 2 years ago. She got married, had a baby and realized after her husband left that she liked women (trans people exist obviously but I’m also interpreting Ash’s father as a cis man).
Who do you think Ash’s dad is?
I don’t know and I don’t really care to explore it. I’m going off of the novel interpretation that he’s just a deadbeat that left to be a trainer, failed and never came back because of the shame. He’s not important.
Isn’t Giovanni Ash’s dad?
That’s a common misconception that people remember wrong from the Pokémon Live show. Delia mentions she dated Giovanni but then left him and his gang after meeting Ash’s father. I also don’t consider the live show canon personally! I follow The Birth of Mewtwo timeline where Madame Boss founded Team Rocket.
Do you think Delia and Giovanni dated at least?
Nah, I think he’s too old for her? I always got the vibe from The Birth of Mewtwo that he was quite a bit older than Jessie and it’d be sus if he was dating Delia when she was married to, and had a child with her husband at 18/19. He’s a bad guy but not a BAD guy.
You mentioned you still ship Jessie and James. Why not make a Jessie, James, Delia polycule?
I have a few reasons I’ve mentioned before! 1. I’m in super deep with this AU already and I feel it’d be very confusing for casual viewers of my stuff if James was added into the relationship haha. 2. I’ve drawn Jessie and James together since 2011 and took this AU as an opportunity to try my hand at writing them as queer, platonic besties bc I love that interpretation of them a lot as well. 3. I’m not poly myself and the way I write this ship is largely based off of my experiences with my girlfriend. I just know I’d favor the Jessie/Delia of it all which isn’t fair and not a good interpretation of a poly relationship. All that said, I DO super enjoy seeing peoples’ poly headcanons and art!
Who does James end up with in this AU?
No one. He's aroace and is happy to be single
Do Jessie and James have all their Pokémon in this AU
I think they have all the Pokémon that they did by the end of Mezase Pokémon Master (all their Pokémon that were left at HQ). Most of their released Pokémon have stayed released and the Alola Pokémon are still in Alola. I bring back Arbok and Weezing post-Jessie and Delia getting married. I may bring back Chimecho, Growlie and Cacnea if I think of an idea I like!
What are Meowth and James up to in this AU?
Hop back to the top of this post under the "Where to Start" section. All your questions will be answered.
Does Ash travel with anyone at this point of his life?
I don't have anyone in particular in mind! I could see him making new friends (Nemona???) or traveling with different combinations of old friends. Like him, Misty and Goh, him, Dawn and Cilan, him, Serena and Lillie etc.
Will Delia ever get over her phobia of snake Pokémon
Not fully! I think overcoming fears is fine and good but I think real PHOBIAS are much harder to get past and I don't want to cheapen it. She slowly gets used to Jessie's Seviper specifically and gets to the point where she can pet it comfortably with Jessie in the room. But otherwise, still scared and would need that same amount of time per Pokémon
Is Jessie gaining weight or is it just me?
Not just you! Jessie puts on a bit of relationship weight overtime as you'll see in the later comics in the timeline. Jessie grew in poverty, never knowing when her next meal would be and that continued into her life as a Team Rocket member. Once she was able to settle down (with a woman who runs her own restaurant no less) she's able to live a healthier lifestyle with regular meals and puts on some weight because of that.
Does Jessie ever feel self conscious about gaining weight?
Nope! She feels happier and healthier and hotter. She's also unreasonably excited to clear out her old clothes and get a new wardrobe.
Would Jessie and Delia ever have kids together or adopt?
Nah, Ash is enough for them! I have come up with hypothetical kids for them but they're not canon to this AU. Just a fun little thing for me.
Will you ever put this on webtoon?
Nah. People mostly ask me this because they want to read everything in the order of the timeline but to my knowledge, you can’t reorder chapters or installments which would defeat the purpose. I also don’t think nintendo fan stuff would fly there. Also, also it’s just extra work and another place to upload and I want to keep this all fun for myself~
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florymere · 1 year
Note
Hiii.❤️❤️
This morning I saw your fanfic about Joel and I was like OMG, I need to read it as soon as possible. And I did I loved it. 👉👈🥺❤️
So I see your requests are open so I thought I can ask something. Can you write a Joel fanfic where he is the dominant one but he let the reader take control for once, like tie him up or something. And he watches the reader as she cums over and over again but he can't touch himself and he begs. Something like that. Uhh and add a little bit of sir kink please.
Thank you.❤️❤️❤️
Control - Joel Miller smut
💕 thank you sweetheart. I'm so happy you liked it. It was the first fic in a very long time that I wrote for a new character. 💕
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Warnings: 69, dirty talk, bondage, sir kink, pure smut...
"You want what?" Joel voice interrupts the oppressive silence that has reigned after your question.
Begging, you look up at him as you sit on your bed clad only in his shirt, "Please?"
He looks more surprised than really averse to your question, even if it is rather unusual.
Your dynamic is clearly defined and normally you wouldn't even think of asking him about it, but just today, when you've seen him flirting quite openly with another woman, you really want to.
The only problem is that he has to say yes because you wouldn't be able to physically get him to do it on your own.
He could just push you off of him and he'd probably laugh at your bad plan too.
You bite your lower lip and bat your eyelashes, "I really want to try it, Joel."
His eyes slide over your body before he looks you in the face again and then sighs, "Fine, whatever. Move over."
Excited, you do as he says and murmur a soft, "Thank you, sir."
He barely responds to your submissiveness and pulls his belt from his pants to hand it to you.
Excitedly, you reach for it and Joel sluggishly drops himself onto the bed. 
His movements are slow and completely unimpressed as you crawl on top of him and he holds his wrists in front of your face.
It seems like he doesn't care at all that you're putting his belt around his wrists. 
Every time you're in his current position, you're already trembling with anticipation and writhing underneath him, but with him, it just looks like he's doing you a huge favor.
You tighten his belt and he growls, "Do you even know what to do if I can't touch you?"
Jerkily, you look him in the eye and the arrogance with which he looks at you doesn't leave you cold.
That's exactly why things are going so well between you. 
He's more of a dominant and demanding character by nature, while you like to let him make you small, especially in the bedroom.
Even now that he's the one you're now tying to your bed frame, he remains cocky and you avoid his gaze as you pull on his tied hands again for a test, which makes him grunt softly.
Satisfied, you let go of him and look down at the man below you.
As you expected, from the look he gives you, he doesn't seem to be averse to being the immobile one for once, but he doesn't know what you're up to yet.
Quietly clearing your throat, you lick your lips, "Don't worry. I'll do my best, sir."
Interested, he follows you with his eyes as you slide back so that your butt rests between his legs on the bed and you place your feet to the left and right of his narrow hips.
Because you're not wearing any panties, this gives him a direct view of your pussy, already glistening with wetness, and you smile slightly as his hands clench into fists.
Oh, he would regret underestimating you and flirting with this blonde.
You make yourself comfortable between his legs and as you slide your hand between your thighs, he almost breaks his neck to see more.
His hair is sticking out in all directions and his dark eyes are glued to your fingers, which spread your labia and then gently play with your clit.
Granted, it doesn't feel as good as Joel's fingers, but his greedy gaze and the bulge in his pants that's becoming more obvious are enough for you for now.
Using your feet, you push his shirt a little higher, needing at least some contact with his bare skin, then moan hoarsely, "You like the view?"
His thighs twitch and he growls, "Shove your fingers up your cunt."
Out of habit, you do as he says with two fingers and you throw your head back.
In response, a jolt goes through his body and you open your eyes.
A soft whimper escapes your lips as you finger fuck yourself while Joel lies completely at your mercy, unable to take his eyes off your leaking pussy for anything in the world.
With each thrust of your fingers, you set up a mess between your legs, and with a thumb on your clit, it's not long before you're moaning harshly, "Joel...oh god...Joel..." Your voice breaks toward the end and your pussy throbs around your fingers as Joel tugs at his bound hands for the first time and barks, "Come here."
But you fight the reflex to obey him, shaking your head still sluggish from your orgasm, "No."
Incredulous, he tries to sit up, which of course is completely pointless, and he hisses, "Sugar, you do what I ask you to do right now, or else-"
Your eyebrows go up and you interrupt him, "Or else what? Are you flirting with that blonde chick again?"
You roll onto your stomach and he growls, "Is that what this is about? I wasn’t serious about that at all."
"Well, too bad I took it seriously," you lift your ass and slide over him until your pussy is hovering over his face like an unattainable reward and you rest your head on his thigh so your face is inches away from his now hard cock.
It's hell on earth that you won't touch him and he can't do anything about it himself either, that his cock is pressing painfully against t his pants and he can't do anything but look at your wet swollen cunt.
Grinning, you bite your lower lip as he lifts his head again and tries to press his lips on your throbbing sex, but just before touching you he can't get any further and frustratedly drops his head back on his pillow: "Okay, I get it. What do you want? Do you want me to ask for your forgiveness? I'm sorry and it will never happen again."
Again you let your hand slide between your legs and with a quick glance at his crotch, you see his cock twitch and you purr, "I accept your apology."
Your fingertips slide up through your cleft from the bottom and Joel rears back, "Then undo me or take my cock in your mouth, I don't care."
Your juices run down your thighs and you moan softly against his wrapped cock, "No sir."
With all his strength he pulls on the belt and you're glad the restraints don't give up because he would punish you hard for your ordeal and instead he grumbles, "Fuck, what the hell do you want?"
His cock feels like it's strangled and he wouldn't need anything more than a kiss from you on its tip to come, but you continue unperturbed, now fingering yourself inches from his face, "Beg me."
Again a jolt goes through his body, "What?"
It goes against his whole being to beg for something, even as you moan, "Beg me to take your cock in my mouth."
Silently, he remains lying there, staring at your cunt, which you are now fingering faster and more urgently.
Joel can see your pussy tighten around your fingers again and again and as you move your head a little on his thigh he curses loudly, "Oh fuck it. Will you please take my cock in your mouth, sugar?"
"I'm not convinced yet," you let your fingers slide out of your tight cunt and he turns his head a little to lick your juices off your thigh with his tongue and your body gives in almost completely at his warm tongue lash.
You stroke your finger over your swollen clit and you notice him give up, murmuring softly, "Please touch me, sugar. Please? I swear to you, I'll never even look at any woman again, but please, please suck my cock."
Satisfied, you whimper, "Yes, sir." And grab his pants with both hands, freeing his hard cock.
Freed from the confines of his pants, Joel moans deeply and at that moment you lower your hips and press your cunt against his mouth as you lick the precum from his cock and let it slide into your mouth.
The deep growl from his throat vibrates against your sensitive sex and you whimper with your mouth full.
As if it were his calling, he licks your cunt, pushing his hips towards your pretty lips again and again to get deeper into your throat.
With your hands you grab his balls and when you hear Joel's deep and loud moan, he already comes in your mouth.
Hectically you try to swallow it all as he sucks your clit in an uncoordinated way and you collapse on top of him, trembling and with your pussy pulsating.
It all happened so fast that you couldn't get it all down your throat and some of his cum drips out of your mouth as you roll off his strong body and finally look him in the eye again.
His gaze follows the wet trail on your chin and the drops of his cum dripping down to your thighs, "Sugar..."
Blinking, you look down at him and he licks his wet lips, "Untie me."
His voice is soft and as obedient as you normally are, you nod, "Yes, sir."
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Thanks for reading my fic 💙
Gif is not mine 💗
It's my side blog so I'll answer comments with my main blog (@catt-leya) 💕
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prazinos · 1 year
Note
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE US ACADEMIC RIVALS TO LOVERS XAVIER X READER PLEADE IM BEGGING YOU
OKAY BUT LIKE THIS IS MY EXCUSE TO WRITE XAVIER SFW
Disclaimer ~ I do not support Percy Hynes White, this is about the character and not the actor.
WARNINGS ! ~ none just fluff <3
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You hated Xavier Thorpe. There was no other way to put it.
In your mind he was arrogant, annoying, and stupidly attractive.
You hadn't always hated him though, your first day at Nevermore he gave you a tour of the school and you were even friends with him. But then over break, he just ignored you. Didn't text you, call you, he ghosted you completely.
Even when you got back to school he ignored you. It was like you were the plague to him.
And then he did start talking to you again. In a way. You became rivals, academic rivals. Always competing over the answer. Honestly your fellow peers and teachers were getting sick of your bickering.
But you couldn't help it, you hated him and you needed to prove that you were better than him.
You got your serial studies exams back today. And you were more than confident that you would get a better score than Xavier.
Looking down at the paper Mr Grimrose had given you, you smiled at the score
100%
You looked over to see Xavier not smiling at his paper and your smile grew.
He glanced over at you and if looks could kill, you would be dead. You pouted at him dragging a finger down your cheek in a mocking way telling him to cry about it.
He rolled his eyes before the bell went off. And he practically stormed out of the room.
'You have got to give it a rest' Enid said walking up behind you
'No way, he's a douchebag'
'It doesn't matter if he is Y/N, you should just talk it out with him'
'Or you can just gouge his eyes out' Wednesday said coming around from behind Enid.
'Thank you, somebody who's trying to help' you said gesturing towards Wednesday.
Enid rolled her eyes
'I'm sorry Cara Mia but he has been a bitch to Y/N' Wednesday said turning to Enid.
Wednesday knew that the nickname would make Enid smile. It always did.
You rolled your eyes smiling at the two before walking out the classroom, being stopped by Mr Grimrose.
'Miss L/N'
'Yes Mr Grimrose?'
'I need you to give this to Mr Thorpe. I gave him the wrong test by accident'
'Mr Grimrose why don't you ask Enid or Bianca to give it to him?'
'Because I'm asking you Y/N'
Mr Grimrose is normally your favourite teacher. With his interesting Owl like face and bird like legs and feet. his small rounded glasses and always wearing a fancy button up with a vest over top.
you groaned taking the paper before walking out the classroom, heading towards Xaviers dorm.
Knocking on the door a bit too hard, you took a step back waiting for Xavier to open the door.
You were met with Ajax instead, him giving you a quizzical look
'You seriously cannot have smoked all the weed I gave you already'
'No of course not I'm not that bad'
'What're you doing here then'
'Can you give this to Xavier' you asked him shoving the test towards him.
'Oooh damn I really would but I have to help Wednesday get Enid a birthday present' He said before slamming the door
Enids birthday was in February. Its July.
You sighed, knowing where Xavier would be. Where you and him had gone to smoke weed many times. Where you would listen to music together and talk about whatever rumours were going around.
Don't cry.
Making your way to the stupid shed, you didnt even knock before stepping in. There he was. The stupid boy that had made you cry countless times. Listening to music about to uncover a canvas, before noticing you.
taking out an earbud he faced you directly narrowing his eyes at you.
'What are you doing here'
'Grimrose told me to give you this' you said slamming down the test on the stool next to him. He glanced down at it smiling
99%
'You still didn't beat me you know' you said snarkly
'God everything has got to be a competition with you'
'Oh that is rich coming from you Xavier' you spat not looking at his face. 'Like you don't rub it in my face when you get a higher score than me' You continued
He didn't respond, opting to sigh annoyedly
'You just can't take it when somebody is better than you Y/N'
'Excuse me?'
'You heard what i said, you can't take it when somebody is better than you'
'You are not better than me Xavier, you are nowhere near better than me, you stopped responding to me, you started glaring at me in the hallways, you started showing off your test answers'
He didn't speak, you had to egg him on, get some sort of response
'Why'd you do it?'
'Because'
'That's not an answer'
'Because I couldn't handle my feelings'
'What?'
'I couldn't handle falling in love with you'
You stared at him. He's not really confessing his love for you is he? You looked at his face, no indication he was lying.
Yes it was true that you as well had a crush on him, you told him during one of your highs that you were crushing on him. You were on facetime with him, talking about anything and everything and then you ruined everything.
'You know, I've been crushing on you for like, ever'
That was right before he ghosted you. Those ten words ruined your friendship. But now you suppose it wasn't
Your eyes were tearing up, too many emotions were filling you, hate, sadness, love, anger
before you knew it, tears were streaming down your face. And he wiped them away.
There was your Xavier. Your sweet, kind, handsome Xavier.
You looked up at him, noticing the look of sadness that had washed over his face.
He leant down, gripping your jaw softly in his hand,
His lips were on yours
His lips were on yours.
It soon turned to an erratic make out, him backing you into the desk against the wall, him lifting you onto the desk, wrapping his arms around your waist loosely
Your arms wrapped around his neck as you deepened the kiss. he was stood between your legs and it was almost amusing how he still had to crane his neck so much to be able to kiss you.
'Yo Xavier I got some good stuff just begging to be-'
You broke apart at the voice, Ajax standing there, a bag of rolled joints in his hand, his mouth agape.
He pulled out his phone before you and Xavier could move from the position you were in, snapping a photo. Your eyes widened, about to yell at him before he ran back out the door.
Xavier's head turned back to you. Smiling dopily at you, he leant back down reconnecting your lips.
after a while you both parted, panting heavily.
'So what are you painting?' you asked him softly.
he smiled nervously
'its nothing really' he said
you smiled devilishly, hopping off the bench before he could pull you back and went over to the covered painting.
you pulled back the black sheet to see a painting.
of you
your mouth dropped open, as he walked over, scratching the back of his neck, a nervous habit.
'I thought you mainly painted your dreams?'
'You are in my dreams'.
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OKAY BUT I THINK THIS WAS ACTUALLY SO CUTE AND I HOPE ANON THINKS SO AS WELL
Lmk if you liked this by, Liking, Commenting, or Reblogging !
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c-a-v-a-l-r-y · 28 days
Text
call out my name.
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Paring: Xiao (Genshin Impact)/Fem!Reader.
Genre: Smut (Explicit 18+ only; minors DNI. Ageless & underage blogs will be BLOCKED ON SIGHT)
DO NOT REPOST TO ANY SITE OR APP REGARDLESS OF CREDIT GIVEN OR YOU WILL BE REPORTED.
A/N: I had to repost this because it wasn't showing up in the tags, so hopefully it will now. If it doesn't I give up sksksks. Ah yes, my 2000 year old bbygrl <3 This is just a quick (I say that but it took me months to write this sksksks) lil somethin' that may or may not suck idk it's in your hands now lmao. I wanted to write foreplay but something in my brain wasn't letting me, so it's just implied I'm sorry sksks. I just wanted to dip my toe into writing for Xiao so he's probably out of character. Hopefully, this is still enjoyable to read though! Comments, constructive criticism, likes and reblogs are welcome!
Warnings: Brief masturbation (reader), Xiao walks in on her, implied vaginal fingering and oral (f!receiving), riding, begging, the briefest of dirty talk at the end, talk of coming inside at the end. I think that's it, but please let me know if I've missed anything and I'll add it ASAP!
Word Count: 1K.
MASTERLISTS | AO3 | SUPPORT MY WRITING
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The Adeptus had just finished slaying the last corrupted hilichurl when her breathless voice echoed in his mind.
“Xiao…”
The man in question stopped in his tracks, eyes wide at the breathless and strained tone of her voice, his heart beginning to pound within his chest as worry overtook him.
He was at her side in an instant, a gust of wind rustling his clothes.
Xiao very nearly choked on his spit at the sight that welcomed him.
Instead of his dear friend being in some sort of peril, as he expected and dreaded, she was sprawled across her bed at the Wanshu Inn; legs tangled in the sheets, her hand moving rhythmically inside of her underwear as she moaned out his name.
He must make some sort of noise because suddenly her eyes are on him where he stands at the foot of her bed; wide-eyed and mouth gaping like a fish out of water as he stares at her.
"Xiao!" She gasps, frantically taking her hand out of her panties and gathering the sheets to cover her half-naked form, "What are you doing in here?"
"Y-" Blushing at the crack in his voice, the Adeptus turned his head to the side and pressed the back of his hand to his warm cheek to hide his flustered state from her; clearing his throat as he tried speaking again, "You called out my name. I thought...I thought you were in danger, not...this."
Try as he might to erase it from his mind, he couldn't help but remember, in vivid detail, how she looked when he first appeared before her; pretty mouth open and curling around his name as she pleasured herself. Couldn't help but wonder if she thought of him every time she touched herself. 
Clearing his throat once more, he shifted in his spot, feeling warm all over but frozen in place, even as he knew it would be wise to leave. His rational mind was tested as his golden gaze kept flitting over to her, and back to the wall as he remembered himself.
Had she really said his name out loud? 
As embarrassing as it was to admit, she thought of Xiao often when she was alone. However, she usually had better self-control than speaking his name out loud, especially knowing that he could hear her, no matter where she was in Liyue.
Please don't tell me I said anything...else, she thought to herself. Saying his name in this context is already bad enough, he hardly needs to know all the ways in which I think of him on top of it. What if he wants nothing to do with me now?
Slowly trailing her gaze up from the sheets clutched to her chest, her eyes widened as she took him in, really looked at him, and saw the pink tinge darkening the top of his ears, the way he widened his stance slightly as he shifted from foot to foot, and how his pretty eyes darted to and from her.
Oh, her mind whispered as realization dawned, confidence slowly building within her. 
Xiao wasn't averting his gaze because he was disgusted with her, but because he liked what he'd accidentally walked in on. Her white-knuckled grip on her sheets slackened as her mind began to race.
"I...apologize, for invading your private space." Xiao struggles to form a sentence as his own desire begins to cloud his thoughts. "I will take my leave now. Should you n-need me- er, my assistance in battle...you need only call my name; Adeptus Xiao, and I will-"
She takes his hand in both of hers and lowers it from where it had been covering his face, effectively cutting off his usual spiel. He hadn't even noticed her get off the bed, let alone approach him.
He felt incredibly shy as he slowly raised his head to meet her gaze, allowing her to keep touching him as she intertwined their fingers together and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. He let out a shaky breath at the warmth he could feel from her soft skin even through his glove.
"Stay?" She whispered, her pretty eyes pleading with him as she brought her face closer to his until their noses were a mere hairsbreadth apart.
Xiao has always been weak to her requests and has always been softer around her more than anyone else. Part of him had always known that she was the same when it came to him, and as they gazed into each other's eyes, he could feel his usually ironclad defenses weaken just enough for her to slip inside. He presses his forehead to hers with a soft sigh and closes his eyes.
"...As you wish."
***
"Oh, Xiao..."
The Yaksha let out a breathy whine in response as he tangled their fingers together and pressed them against her plush thighs from where she sat astride him, riding him slow and unhurried.
His dark teal hair was plastered to his forehead and neck, sweat gleaming across his pale skin as the Liyue sunset threaded through the curtains. The lean muscles of his chest and abdomen tensed as he writhed beneath her, golden eyes wide and gazing pleadingly up at her to go faster.
Even with his hands so far away from his face, he could still smell her essence on his skin; his mouth watering as he recalled the taste of her on his tongue. A shiver ripples through him as he remembers how she had called out his name as she came around his fingers.
"Please..." Xiao gasped, slim hips bucking shallowly; unsure as to what he was begging for, but wanting it desperately all the same.
Huffing out a breathless laugh, she squeezed his sides with her soft thighs before lifting his hands in hers to her mouth, placing a kiss on his knuckles, before pressing them into the bed on either side of his head as she leaned over him.
He felt desperate as her molten walls squeezed his cock as she moved, gritting his teeth as he tried to keep his baser instincts in check. The instinct to bear his fangs and snap his hips up into hers as though he were a feral beast and not the respected Adeptus that he was.
All of his carefully crafted resolve crumbled to dust as she whispered into his ear, her soft lips brushing the shell and making his heart pound within his chest.
"Do as you please, Adeptus Xiao, but do be sure to call out my name as you come inside of me."
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nevsdoll · 11 months
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Neville x slytherin reader pls 💖💖💖
Where maybe he is her tutor in herbology , I need it so bad!! ✨✨
herbology for dummies | neville longbottom
neville longbottom x fem!reader
summary! ↑ the request! (⁠ ⁠˵⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠~⁠ ⁠°⁠ ⁠˵⁠ ⁠)
warnings; NSFW +18 SMUT ! underage + unprotected sex, slightly public! sort of hate-sex (⁠๑⁠•⁠﹏⁠•⁠) . . . (lmk if i missed any)
a/n: i always make these generic house reader so everyone feels connected but i'll try my best to make a slytherin character without being too stereotypical lmaoo !! ♡ (i couldn't find a gif i liked but i don't like this pic either)
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"i can't believe that bitch sprout gave me a tutor..." you said while walking towards the library, where you would meet your new tutor.
"no, that's believable, sweety. what's unbelievable is that your tutor is going to be that longbottom dork!" pansy said while laughing.
"oh, shut up... he is probably so sweet" you responded annoyed at your friend's mean words. "i'll see you later"
you entered the library and scanned the place looking for that gryffindor boy. he was sitting all the way in the back, where you could barely see him. you approached him, "why are we sitting here?" you asked.
neville looked up at you, "oh, hey" he thought for a second before answering to your question, "i don't know, i just felt like sitting here, i guess" you nodded and sat beside him as you watched him open the herbology book. "so, why are you particularly struggling with?"
"umm... i don't know, i don't really pay attention in class" you looked around the table which was filled with books that neville picked up. "why do we need all these books for?" you picked a random one, reading the title out loud, "'the enchanting world of magical plants: a guide to botanical mysticism', what the fuck is this? does this even enter on the test?"
"no... i just thought it might help..." he said, somehow embarrassed.
you grabbed another book, "'herbology for dummies', excuse me? are you mocking me, longbottom?" you looked at him angrily.
"what? that's just how it's called, it's not my fault! it's a good book i read it!" he said while taking the book from your hands and putting it away. "let's just get into studying" you sighed, already angry at him —not for a good reason—. basically, your first actual impression of neville longbottom was ruined.
you only knew about him because you saw him sometimes in class and at the corridors, but mostly you just knew what draco malfoy and his friends used to say about him. at that time, you thought they might have been right.
you were drawn away from your thoughts by the guy's voice, "i think these are the only topics that are gonna be on the test... i don't think mrs. sprout will ask anything about the water plants because we just started it..."
"i should just use a cheat sheet or something..."
"i mean, you could but i think sprout is going to do an anti-cheat spell, you know? because it's the end of the semester and all" neville looked at you with a small smirk.
you covered your face with your hands annoyed, "shit, you're right..." you let out a small breath, "okay, just teach me the most important so i can go, i want to go see the slytherin quidditch practice after this."
"slytherin is practicing today? i thought oliver booked the field..." he spoke, thinking out loud.
"that's the thing with you gryffindors, you think the world revolves around you." you said.
"how is that thinking the world revolves around us?" he rolled his eyes. "and that's really bold coming from someone who is friends with malfoy" he laughed annoyed.
you gasped, "okay, first of all, i'm not friends with draco; second of all, YOU are a friend of THE harry potter so of course you wouldn't notice the harry potter syndrome you all gryffindors fall into... and third of all, you are my tutor, you shouldn't say such things"
"i'm sorry, what?!" he opened his eyes in shock, completely offended. "how could you say that? you were the one who started this!"
"oh, real mature, longbottom" you looked away, trying to ignore him.
"also, what the hell is the harry potter syndrome?!" he asked with his eyebrows making a frown.
"exactly!" you said as neville just tsked at your response. "just teach me whatever you have to teach me" you added still looking away.
neville sighed and started going through the book, explaining every topic best way he could because due to your lack of response he couldn't know what you struggled most with.
this went on for quite some time, you had been swimming inside your deepest weirdest thoughts, not paying attention to anything neville had to say. at one point you even felt bad, it felt like you had these little cartoony versions of yourself on each shoulder saying "he is trying to help you!" and the other one saying "whatever, he is probably already used to being ignored. he was being rude". the boredom was just starting to get more vivid and you let out a yawn.
"you could at least pretend like you are listening!" he said. "i'm doing this for you, you know? i don't want to be here either."
"then leave! i'm not asking you to do anything! i just stayed here in case you were going to tell on me to sprout like the nerd loser you are!" you got up from the chair and closed the book. the only reason why you weren't screaming at each other was the fact that you were still at the library.
"what?!" he looked at you shocked. you looked at him in his eyes, you could sense he was somehow hurt. you stayed looking at each others eyes for a few seconds right before throwing yourselves into each others mouths.
you didn't even know how was it that the situation took this turn but now neville longbottom was sitting you on a table, throwing everywhere the herbology books he picked up while kissing you roughly with his hands grabbing your ass. —and he was honestly such a good kisser too, he knew exactly what to do and how to do it.
you quickly unbottoned your jeans needing more of his touch. he looked down at your movements and smirked, "shit, you wanna do it with a nerd loser, y/n?" he laughed.
"shut up" you unbuckled his belt, throwing it behind the books that were still on the table. neville laughed, absolutely forgetting about his shy and kind persona. he brought you closer and lowered your jeans, rapidly slipping his hand on your panties and caressing your bare cunt. "just do it, longbottom" he smiled and kissed your lips once more while lowering your panties and finally taking his erection out of his clothes. neville shoved his dick inside of you making you bite your lip to silence your scream. your body layed down on the table trying to adjust to his already rapid movements. your back already arching and hands begging for something to grab and hold on to. "neville, your cock feels so good..." you whispered.
neville bit his lip while increasing the pace. his hands ran through the inside of your shirt until finally meeting your breasts. he played with your nipples mercilessly as you moaned covering your mouth with your hand. "what has gotten you so excited?" he teased.
"you are lucky you are fucking me so good, if not, i would have left." you responded between gasps and moans. "i thought you were a virgin... how many girls have you fucked?"
"you are the only slytherin i had left" he said with that smirk on his face again.
"fuck you, longbottom." you sensed you were close, you wouldn't hold it for much longer.
"you are guilty of that." he laughed at the same time you finally released. cumming all over his cock and leaving cum leaking on the table. "damn, y/n... that was hot"
you breath out and dressed up. "thank you, tutor, i'm going to the quidditch practice. i'll see you tomorrow for another tutoring session!"
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