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#i'm just rly rly upset n sad n disappointed
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haven't been sad like this in a long time
#doll#did i get lovebombed again#it's been ages since he last even tried that w/ me...#but. the more i think abt it the more it makes sense.#the others were suspicious from the start but we couldn't figure out what the ulterior motive could possibly be#cause it was so out of character for him. suddenly wantin to make us more official when he'll usually avoid any trace of actual commitment#i guess he knows i dream about a more....traditional relationship. exclusive for both instead of just one way.#white picket fence etc#so it was easy to spin it into that when rly he just wanted to stake his claim in a more visible way#(not a proposal just a promise ring type of thing on a necklace so i thought it was him tryin to compromise)#so now i just feel stupid cause i bought into all the stuff he said. bout the way he wants this to be forever.#when it rly was just another way to mark me.#i'd be fine w/ it if he just said that's what he wants! he knows i don't mind wearin his name or w/e even though i don't rly get it#but tryin to mask it as smth else that he knows i want but would never ask for cause he doesn't do that stuff#it's not ok#everything he does we deal w/ as it comes but. not the fucking mind games again. he can't/doesn't wanna force me to do things (anymore)#so now he's tryin to trick me into em instead?#i don't feel like i can trust anything he's said now#n if i try to have an actual adult conversation about it he's just gonna talk circles around me til i'm dizzy again#i was rly startin to trust him. i don't understand. what happened?#did i do something? have i been so flaky he feels he needs to do this stuff to keep me in check?#he just told me that he's happy if i even just drop by for a little while but. i'm not sure i believe that now either.#i mean i shoulda realized cause it'd only affect me anyway. i don't think he even mentioned wearing one himself.#i've been so happy ring shopping for days n now i just feel sick. messing w/ consent is a whole Thing for him so#chances are he wanted to keep me content w/ an empty show of commitment while he gets off on what it really means#i shoulda known it was too sudden n came out too easy for him. he never talks about feelings stuff so easily it's always a struggle#i think it's all bc he's afraid of losin me but....i rly thought we were past this stuff. i rly thought i could trust him now.#i'm just rly rly upset n sad n disappointed#spdrvent
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cheolbooluvr · 1 year
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[teaser] crab rangoons
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。☆✼★ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ★✼☆。
pairing: delivery boy!hoshi x reader
genre: slice of life
word count: 409 (idk what the final wc will be)
warnings: so many fucking crab rangoons, mentions of alcohol, reader is hashtag depressed, breakup, more warnings to come in the final fic
a/n: oh em gee. i am back from the dead but not rly bc i actually don't know if/when i'll finish this. but i'm hoping this will be my motivation to return to writing!! this came to me while i was craving chinese food and, ofc, crab rangoons, my beloved. this is only slightly based on a true story. hope you like it!!
tag list: plz send me an ask if you'd like to be tagged when this comes out !!
my masterlist \ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ/
。☆✼★ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ★✼☆。
The second you finished your first can of beer, you crushed it in your hand and got up to get another from the fridge when there was a knock at your door. 
Just in time, you thought. You were unconcerned for your appearance since you would only be opening the door to grab the food and swiftly shut it before the delivery person could even think to look at you. However, when you opened it, you made the mistake of looking at the person to discover it was a very handsome guy, looked to be around your age or a little older, his short, dark hair giving him a very edgy look especially with his bangs that looked like a toddler cut them. 
Your eyes lingered on his for a second longer than you intended before you caught yourself and snatched the brown paper bag from him. 
“Thanks,” you mumbled as you went to close the door, stopping when you realized it wouldn’t shut all the way. You looked down to see a pair of ragged white Vans in your doorframe, your eyes moving to the pained expression your delivery boy had on his face.
“They…” he said with a slight grunt as he removed his foot, “were out of crab rangoons.”
Strangely enough, when your boyfriend broke up with you, you were upset, angry, and frustrated. But those six words that just came out of this stranger’s mouth shattered your heart into a million pieces, doing more damage than your asswipe of an ex-boyfriend ever could have done. You pulled the bag in close to you as your knees buckled and you fell to the ground, tears streaming down your face full force. 
“There’s no… crab rangoons?” you asked, your words punctuated by your sobs. 
The delivery boy stood there and watched you cry onto the paper bag, your tears staining the brown kraft material meant to only hold your food, not your sadness. The boy was dumbfounded by your reaction—never in his career as a Chinese food delivery boy had he ever seen anyone cry… much less over crab rangoons. Well, he could kind of understand your disappointment; crab rangoons fucking smacked and he guessed that he might be sad, too, if his order didn’t come with any. But would he cry about it? Maybe not. But that was him, and you were you. Two different people who apparently would react two different ways in this situation.
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