Podcast

Warnings: none

Summary: y/n talks life and all things motherhood in her best friends podcast

Materlist

Hello and welcome back to the simple life podcast my name is y/f/n and today we have y/n ricciardo with us. Firstly for those of you who don't know y/n has been my closest friend since highschool but also when i first started this podcast in 2020 if you have been listening since then the one person I've always been asked to have on is y/n and I finally managed to get her to come on y/f/n says laughing "you make it sound like I was avoiding coming on" y/n replied laughing. "Okay okay in all seriousness she's been itching to get on but she's never been in Perth long enough since covid the get the time but now she has plenty of time" y/ns friend replied back seriously

"So how have you been y/n" "I'm doing amazing lifes great at the moment it's slowed right down and we're just enjoying each moment as it comes I honestly feel like in the last couple of months we've been able to stop and take in the moment more. Also being back in perth has had its perks no doubt I love this place with everything I got"

"People will get mad if I don't ask this early on so how's daniel and baby Olivia doing" "Their both doing amazing olivias six months old and she's just loving life since we've been back in perth we take morning walks down to the beach as a family and her and daniel just love playing in the sand together. I love watching it because she's at the age where she's more in tune with what's going on and just seeing her and daniel interact is amazing"

"She's six months already it feels like just yesterday I was flying out to Monaco because you had gone into labour. Did she enjoy Christmas whats every day life like with a six month old " "Christmas in general was great we got to spend it with the whole family which we haven't been able to do since covid, Olivia was in her element opening her presents and I think she enjoyed it alot because her cousins were there so she had someone to play with. Yeh six months can you believe it myself and daniel are trying to soak everything in because she's growing to fast but I also like this stage because she's more aware of her surroundings too. Also she's got the biggest smile for everyone and this huge belly laugh that only daniel can seem to get her to do she's definitely her father's daughter" y/n says laughing

"On the topic of labor how was that" "it was tough don't get me wrong but I had daniel by my side every second which I was so grateful for and he's someone who can make me laugh even when I don't want to so looking back on it I was laughing through all of labor and delivery thanks to him I definitely couldn't have done it without him."

"How's your business going" "yeh it's going amazing we do hold little pop up shops every now and then and people love that too. There's a new collection coming out soon which I haven't told people about so I'm sure they will be excited by that"

"Any plans on giving Olivia a little brother or sister" "look we've both said it we would love more than one child but at the moment we so happy with life and she's only six months so maybe further down the line we'll try for another"

"I'll be hated if I don't ask this how did you and daniel meet its been what 18 years this year" " yeh 18 years, you know this story all to well because me and you talked to much in class I got moved next to the class clown who was also incredibly good looking. After weeks of him annoying me I finally gave in and went to get lunch with him. I never looked back since that day"

"When you were that young did you expect the two of you to still be together so many years later" y/n starts to laugh "definitely not I was a huge overthinker and I fell in love eith him quite early on but I knew Daniels plans to be an f1 driver and I had plans to go to college but we both knew wel over each other so we gave it a go and don't get me wrong long distance was really hard but it was so worthwhile. I don't regret any of it. I'm so thankful for everything I have in life especially daniel and olivia their both the light of my life and Daniels always been there for me and has helped me through so much"

"What's your take on life" "I like to just live in the moment cherish everything I have. I try not to worry because I know there's a solution to everything once I look for it"

"Quick fire round"

"Favourite flavour of ice cream"

"Mint chocolate chip"

"Farm life or city life"

"Farm life it's so much quieter"

"Mornings or nights"

"Morning person"

"Dogs or cats"

"Dogs"

"Favourite travel destination"

Iceland or Austin. Austin brings alot of fun but Iceland was where daniel proposed so its always gonna hold a special place in my heart"

"Thank you so much for coming on today y/n it's been a pleasure having you" " thank you for listening to me babble I hope everyone enjoys"

Liked by danielricciardo, yourfriendsinstagram, michaelitaliano and 45,333 more

Y/nricciardo I had the pleasure of speaking on @yourfriendsinstagram podcast about life and motherhood so please go check it out I promise its a good one

Dannyricfan Olivia sounds like the cutest child ever

Yourfriendsinstagram thanks so much for coming on

Y/nfann I love y/n so much

Dr3fann Daniels life with olivia and y/n sounds amazing

Dannyfann3 Only daniel can make olivia belly laugh 🥺🥺

Sorry I've been away for so long but I hope oyu guys enjoy and again as always send in your asks if you have any 🥰

aftg skateshop au

ok ok so i actually JUST started another fic but i can't get the idea of the foxes in my old workplace out of my head. so just the rough beginnings of a skateshop au bc i think the foxes would definitely have a place in the skateboarding community

neil josten as the amateur newbie that 'doesn't even skate!' he just wants to get his paycheck and leave. refuses to get on a board but sits there with his mouth wide open on training nights.

andrew minyard as the shop security guard, who claims he has no interest in skating at all but kevin claims he saw him skating home from work one day and that he's amazing.

dan wilds as the store manager that no one takes seriously bc she's a woman, even though she's won several skate competitions and the shop is performing better than it ever has under her leadership

seth gordon as the assistant manager that isn't misogynistic but definitely isn't happy that his manager is a woman that knows more than him. he listens to podcasts and does push ups in the backroom on his break.

kevin day as the 3ic (assistant assistant manager) that USED to be a pro skateboarder sponsored by another skateshop but since his injury he just lectures everyone that comes into the store on correct posture and tries to land new tricks on the shop floor. most of the time he's clearly hungover.

matt boyd as the guy that's only really there to make friends and follow dan around like a lost puppy. customers love him but he feels too bad to upsell to them so he never really brings in a lot of sales.

aaron minyard as that one employee who you're never really sure what they do? he clocks in then disappears off, only to find out they're somehow one of the top sellers at the end of the day.

nicky hemmick as the over-excitable, over sharing employee that tells every customer his life problems and gets too involved in company drama

allison reynolds as the visual merchandiser who quit her internship with a successful designer brand store to shuffle skate brands and boards around the store aimlessly

renee walker as the melt-in-your-mouth employee that handles a board like no-ones business and somehow keeps everyone in line - she runs a workshop training grommets (kids) on her days off

i honestly don't know if this is going to entertain anyone besides me tbh but this job was honestly the most absurd place i have EVER worked and i'm really interested in writing the foxes into it and seeing how they go!!!

Hello friend! It’s been a while and now that we’re all just anxiously waiting I figured I’d send you an ask.

First of all, HAPPY WAD DAY! How are you feeling about the show?? Are you hyped?? I cannot wait for you to see this masterpiece, I’d love to hear all of your thoughts afterwards.

How have you been doing on your phannie journey? Any interesting new discoveries? Fun comfort videos or live streams that you’ve come across? I’d love a little update on that.

Do you still feel like a new phannie? Or have you integrated in the phandom so much that you’re really starting to just feel like part of all the madness instead of a newbie who’s somewhat of an outsider?

Have you been enjoying how active they’ve been? And generally how deranged they’re being in many ways? As an older phannie it does scare me quite a lot I will forever be a little scared that they could just abandon us, even though I know deep down they probably won’t, at least not without proper warning this time.

Any hills that you’re joining? Wedding hill? Dog hill (or perhaps cat hill)? Or other delusional theories that you’re really into right now?

I hope you have time to answer this super long ask. Enjoy the slittening and see you on the other side!

Hellooo there, lovely to hear from you :)

I do, in fact, have way too much time to answer this, so strap yourself in!

How are you feeling about the show? Are you hyped?

Oh trust me, I am soso hyped. Like, internally screaming hyped. I've seen bits and pieces of it and heard you guys and dan (and phil) talking about it and ahhh, I can't wait to finally see it. I know it will be so dan and I know I will love it and I am so incredibly proud of him for making it. Then Phil in the pre-show and The Slittening will just be pure fun, I'm also so looking forward to that. And! Dan yapping during the q&a will be great, so another thing to be hyped for.

I know it'll be such a good evening, I am so excited.

How have you been doing on your phannie journey? Any interesting new discoveries? Fun comfort videos or live streams that you’ve come across?

Okay, soo, there's a lot of new things I've discovered. Because no matter how much I see it just doesn't seem to stop (not complaining though).

A few weeks ago I had a phase where I listened to all of the promo podcasts dan did for ywgttn/wad because I just really wanted to hear him talk and since these mfers don't have their own podcast (yet...) that was the next best thing. So now I feel like I could answer any interview questions surrounding ywgttn. I had a great time though and it was especially funny to see the different hosts trying to press dan into whichever theme they have for their podcast.

Oh, and I impulsively bought ywgttn. I'm slowly working my way through it and it is kind of pretty good.

I recently watched more of their old solo content because I had neglected that a bit before and a fun thing I've started doing whenever I stumble across an old video that makes me go huh is checking people's archives here on tumblr to see what their live reaction was, which is really fun. it's so interesting to see all of it in retrospective, knowing what we know now.

Speaking of the fandom, I started reading fanfics...quite a lot of them and there are some pretty good ones out there (although I fear I am a bit spoiled by the abundancy of just downright amazing fics in the merlin fandom).

I also finally watched the mark of oxin, which is probably one of my favourite game-related things they've done. It has the undertale vibes (which I absolutely adore by the way) but paired with phil kind of guiding dan through it and dan being so blatantly proud of young phil - so yeah, that one definitely goes on the list of comfort videos.

Do you still feel like a new phannie? Or have you integrated in the phandom so much that you’re really starting to just feel like part of all the madness instead of a newbie who’s somewhat of an outsider?

I had to think about this for a moment and I think the right answer is that I do sometimes feel new to this - but so does everyone else. What I mean by this is that they keep pushing boundaries, doing things they wouldn't have done before. This is a new era for everyone and so I feel like I'm right in the middle of it along with everyone else.

Overall I do think I have settled in. I get the references now, I get the gravity behind certain things, and even though I wasn't here for it I feel like I understand the journey it took to get where we are now.

(a funny thing I noticed while rewatching some of the first videos I watched from them is just how out of the loop I was at the beginning. I didn't even consider that half of the jokes and references were flying over my head. well, but I did get there in the end. still not fully though.)

Also, most importantly probably, I have been talking to some people here (to the best of my ability) (sorry), which I really enjoy. It makes me feel like I genuinely am part of this community.

(if anyone's still reading this and wants to talk to me, please always feel free to message me!)

slightly related, I feel like I should change my name because it doesn't feel fully accurate anymore but I think I've grown attached.

Have you been enjoying how active they’ve been? And generally how deranged they’re being in many ways?

I have! I'm on winter break right now and just got knee surgery (which went well by the way), which means I have a lot of time and can't really walk right now, so this has been a really good thing to keep me occupied. and it's nice to have something to be excited for.

but on the other hand, I fully understand your apprehension, because it does feel like almost too much. I am almost certain that they will slow down a little after wad (at least I hope so. for their sake.).

But overall, and I think I've said this every single time you've asked me something so far, I am so glad I discovered them when I did. I've had enough time to get to know them so I can now fully apprechiate and enjoy all of their unhingedness. And die a little bit every single time. Did I already mention I'm scared for april fools?

Any hills that you’re joining? Wedding hill? Dog hill (or perhaps cat hill)? Or other delusional theories that you’re really into right now?

I will admit, I am still a bit careful around most types of theories and wedding-related hills, partially because I don't feel fully qualified to join the conversation, partially because it feels a bit much to me personally, but I do very much think the debate is entertaining to watch so please keep going.

now. pets. I know they won't get a cat because they have been hinting at dogs awfully much (I also don't think they'll get a dog in the near future but who know what will happen further down the line). but. I want them to get a cat. maybe I'm biased because I just generally think cats are superior to dogs, but it'd be so perfect for them. like, even all the practical aspects aside, they clearly love cats and the vibe would just fit so perfectly. just imagine a cat strolling around in the background of dapg video. perfect. but oh well, I've kind of given up hope on that.

okayy, that's it from me I think, if you want me to elaborate on anything, go ahead and ask! I really can't wait to see wad later and I'm sure it must be especially surreal for you, considering you were actually there when it was recorded.

I feel like we'll all end up crying tonight and it'll be an honor to do it alongside all of you <3

Redacted Moving Head Canons

Ugh I haven't written in forever, and I really want to start getting back in the habit. Some hc inspired by the fact that I just finished helping my parents move into their new house, and I'm wishing I had someone like Damien to help me out right about now.

Shifters:

David is in charge

If he’s the one moving, he doesn’t want to ask for help, but if any of the members of his pack are the ones moving, he just shows up at their house and picks stuff up, asking where he should put it

Asher will clear out his schedule and is excited to help, but he will pop the bubble wrap, so don’t leave him in charge of packing anything that needs wrapped up. 

Milo is the man with the truck. Well, technically it's his dad's truck, but he sucked it up long enough to talk to his dad to borrow it just for you, so be grateful

And despite his short size, Milo has a very impressive deadlift, so he can help move any of the bigger pieces of furniture. 

He’s usually got a pretty good attitude about moving, at least until Asher asks him to grab one of the boxes on the top shelf where he can’t reach. 

Asher on the other hand, while happy to help where he can, will be slightly whiny about it. He switches between whining that he’s tired, and trying to lift as many boxes as he can to show off how strong he is

At least until David yells at him to be careful so he doesn’t pull a muscle. 

I feel like David will also throw in a couple lines here and there about, ‘what’s in here, rocks?’ but otherwise be pretty quiet until it’s time for him to leave. Then he’ll give you a one liner about how important family is right as he walks out the door, and then you think about that line all night. Because it’s David and of course he would. 

Vamps: 

This doesn’t even seem fair

They both pick up 15 boxes at a time and then leave

Kidding. Kinda

William would hire a moving company as a gift, and they would have everything packed and moved within two days, and he would pay to have you and your partner stay at a nice hotel while you wait for your stuff to be moved. 

Sam would grumble about it for a bit, insisting he doesn’t mind doing it himself, but would eventually give in and send ‘the old man’ a thank you card

Vincent on the other hand would take full advantage of it, pampering you with all the amenities the hotel offered while things are being finalized at the house. 

Damn Boys:

Moving is stressful, but when you have so many people you can divide the tasks among, it becomes a little bit easier. 

Huxley of course is the first to come to mind for actually moving the boxes. He has a giant truck with more than enough bed space to carry what you need, not to mention he can probably pick up a refrigerator single handedly. 

But when you also have a demon at your disposal whose body doesn’t have any physical limitations and can open portals… 

Damien has taken the lead on organizing all of the boxes, numbering each box and listing the contents of each on a spreadsheet. 

He has also numbered each of the rooms in the new house, and labeled each box and piece of furniture with its corresponding destination so there wouldn’t be any confusion when it comes time to move everything 

Lasko takes charge with packing. One night after everyone else goes to bed, Lasko pops in his headphones and listens to a D&D podcast while he zones out and packs half of the apartment in one night.

They rest of course aren’t happy once they realize Lasko has destroyed his sleeping schedule. Again. But he’s perfectly tetris-ed all of their belongings into boxes, so they aren’t too mad. 

Moving day itself is hectic. 

Despite all the planning, things of course get moved around in the confusion, or accidentally placed in the wrong room. 

But there’s a moment at the end of the day, as they’re all sitting on the floor of an empty dining room, eating pizza off of napkins because they forgot to leave out paper plates, when they take it all in and enjoy their first meal as a family in their new home, excited to make more memories and make the place their own.

hii sorry if you've already made a post about it or something but i'm curious as to how u got into smosh!! i feel like its rare to hear about new people in the fandom so i was just wondering about ur story :3

thank you for the ask i appreciate it a lot!!!

i haven’t really made a post talking about how i got into smosh so i’m so happy to answer this!

for reference, i had and have been an anthony padilla fan for a whiileeee since i was 10 years old because of his “i spent a day with” series, but i never knew about smosh until 7th grade maybe? and even then i had just heard about it.

funnily enough, i recently remembered that i had listened to that one h3h3 podcast episode with ian and markiplier so i had heard ian talk about smosh but i still had no idea what it was and didn’t make the connection that he was talking about anthony Lol

anyways how i got into smosh!!!

in february, i because hyperfixated on classic smosh (early 2010s sketches) but i didn’t really know any of the lore, and i knew anthony left in 2017 and was empathic with it a lot but i didn’t really know details yk??

i was basically just watching iconic smosh sketches and watching some silly stupid sleepovers but that was it. the hyperfixation ended after a couple of days, but i’ve always been a fan of anthony so i didn’t completely detach from it.

anyways, when anthony tweeted out that they had bought smosh back, all of those feelings came FLOODING back and i was SO HAPPY.

and i quickly became super invested once again, and started watching WAYY more smosh videos, and for over a month i’ve been getting really into it (as you can tell from my blog LOL) and i actually know everyone now, and i absolutely love the new cast and love everyone at smosh, and i’m super excited about it all STILL even if i’m not technically hyperfixated on it anymore. it’s just a interest of mine now.

anyways sorry if this lengthy response is not what you wanted, i just got really passionate about it, hope you don’t mind! :)

Happy Birthday, GP!

Thanks.

Facebook was suggesting I set up a Fundraiser for Awareness of something or other.

I can't really think of anything important to me that people aren't already aware of these days (other than the Guilty Gear Light Novels).

I'm pretty much a relic by today's standards of gaming and popular culture.

I've lived 4 Decades' worth of Gaming Culture, Comic Books, Action Figures, Model Kits, Japanese Adult Anime, and American Kids' Saturday Morning Cartoons, not to mention spending countless hours holding a slice of pizza in one hand an Arcade joystick in the other at Charles "Entertainment" Cheese's Pizza, or standing in line for what seemed like days waiting to insert my Time-Out Arcade Token in the latest Tekken, X-Men versus Street Fighter, Samurai Shodown, Soul Calibur, Mortal Kombat, or Marvel versus Capcom crossover game.

I've been on Forums, Chatrooms, Audio Feeds, I've gone to Anime Conventions, Local Tournaments, and small gaming club events.

I'm not a face you'd easily recognize, nor have I done live streams or podcasts of any sort… and I've never been to EVO, ARCRevo, or any major pools events.

I've lived and still live in a relatively small city even compared to Chicago, New York, Tokyo, Las Vegas, or Los Angeles… where I live, most people have hardly ever heard of the games or even topics I bring up, except in small niche circles on Facebook or on Discord perhaps.

Getting what I want has always been something I had to do on my own terms. Finding the truth, buying the exclusive versions, collecting rare bits of info. Translating stuff nobody else bothered to translate.

Most of it was all me just wanting very badly to get to the heart of what I wanted to know and understand about the things I love.

But, as time went on… more and more people saw what I saw, and started doing what I did. Things got bigger and better.

Don't think I haven't noticed!

Even if nowadays I'm only good for the occasional fact-check or just wanting to hear my ancient perspective on stuff… I hope people are able to see things more like how I see them… and enjoy them the same way I do.

There's people who stopped being a fan of the stuff I like, but even then, I never stopped liking what I like… it's not in me any more to back out of this sort of thing. Even if people have different thoughts than mine.

But, it's not just about the story.

It's also about the Gameplay.

I want people to have the same kind of fun I did. The same kind of options I had. The same kind of intensity and battles I experienced.

The same joy, adventure, excitement, rivalry, the same sounds, music, vibrations, explosions, slashups, and whathaveyou.

As GGStrive continues, you're going to start to see things that I saw… feel things that I felt… more and more as the roster grows and the people continue to play. You'll see it.

You'll get to know the same Smell of the Game that I did.

And once you do, you'll know why I've stayed a fan for as long as I have.

Thanks for listening to an Old Man's rambles all this while…

12/31/2023

Well, here we are at the end of 2023. I don't remember if I did an end-of-the-year diary entry. This has possibly been the most stressful year I've been through and I imagine it will get harder and more stressful. All that means is that I am participating in life like everyone else on the planet. I've made new friends, I've gained new experiences, I got a new job, I've learned more about myself... Despite the stress, I'd say there is a lot to appreciate about 2023.

This one is going to be a long one... I've been getting into Jennette McCurdy's work, and I listened to her year-end review podcast episode. So instead of just talking about my year in a stream of consciousness, I'm going to start with answering the same questions she did in her podcast.

What is your proudest achievement?

I'm proud of maintaining a job while going to school. I think the previous me would have definitely given up by now, but knowing that I'm about to reach my one year of working for Jewel makes me feel more confident. I feel like I can do more.

2. What or whom are you most thankful for?

I'm thankful for a lot of people in my life to be honest, it's hard to rank them all. But if I had to say, my confidante would be there. There are people who try their best to motivate me and support me, and honestly bless their hearts for trying. But I feel like no one really talks to me the way he does. The way he radically accepts me, and trusts me. The way he will stay up all night to give me a friend to talk to and enrich my life. The way he forgives me when I honestly don't deserve it. It is the kind of forgiveness that doesn't make me feel, "welp, all's well things are normal." It's the kind of forgiveness that inspires me. At one point in the heat of despair, he asks me what I gain out of our companionship and I wish I could have said this. I just said garbled prattling. I hope we can continue to be companions.

3. What surprised you most?

I had a very traumatic November. The month wherein Jayson didn't want to be with me was something I was not prepared for. Everything shitty leading up to that was equally painful. We were fighting a lot. Edit: I wrote down some memories of our fights, but I decided to delete that part because I honestly want to forget those moments and leave them in the past. Jayson will probably want us to forget those bad times. And I'm getting old, memories that would have haunted me as a child or a teen don't stick with me anymore, the perks of having a goldfish memory bank. I know Jayson regrets how he's acted. The day he took me back was polarizing. I loved him, and I wanted to be with him, but the tiger parenting and the abandonment made me hesitant. Ultimately if he was willing to give me a chance to grow as a person, then I wanted to do the same. We are still together. When I told my cousin we repaired our relationship she asked me if I was happy. I didn't know if I was but after spending time with Jayson again, I was reminded why my heart chose him. Right now we are very happy, and we are excited to move forward in our lives.

4. How has your relationship with yourself changed?

I think this was the year I've done the most changing, ergo my relationship with myself has changed. I still struggle with loving myself, I'm still overcritical, I struggle with forgiving myself, and I beat myself up when I've not improved enough. What has improved is my strife to understand what my own needs are and I'm more motivated to go after what I want. I want to try new things, face more fears, be myself in a way that is loud and confident, and unapologetic. I've come to appreciate how impenetrable my optimism is. I get sad, frustrated, and insecure, but I don't feel trapped in my negativity. No matter how much I dislike people, no matter how dark and scary the world seems to be, I somehow manage to find reasons to smile.

5. How have your life goals changed?

I've added more life goals whether that would be the long-term or the short term. Some goals have been taking me a long time to achieve, but I don't think I've ever given up on a goal. There might have been some advice my peers have given me, I try them and then decide they aren't for me so I stop. But I don't think that counts...?

6. How have your relationships with your friends and family changed?

I'll start with family first. I've grown more emotionally distant from my siblings. Reese is still brotherly to me but he's involved with the school so much that he's evolved to a level of communication I cannot talk with. Aki just hates me. Gwen is difficult to talk to, we're on different levels of development. I don't really have the desire to grow closer to them. I still want to maintain a good relationship with my parents. My relationship with my mom hasn't changed. I've grown to appreciate my dad more. Although my dad has a bad case of Trump derangement syndrome. All he watches is neo-lib socialists that make whole-ass careers outta saying "Orange man bad" a million different ways. I'm not political by the way, I just don't understand how my dad is entertained by this. Despite that, I love my dad and now that he's retired, I can look back at how hard he worked to give my family a great life. Outside my immediate family, I've spent quality time with my cousin for girl talk, which is nice. Next, I shall talk about my friends. Friendship is difficult to maintain as an adult. Especially if you aren't going to the same school or working at the same job. I've already discussed the rough patch with my boyfriend but we are improving things. I have other friends but I just don't know how to say hi or strike up a good conversation. I crave connection, I get frustrated at small talk or when I feel like I'm not being fully understood. This is why I talk to my confidante so much. The conversations we have feel meaningful. I'm anxious that I spilled my spaghetti on him sometimes. Edit: I don't like going back and removing my thoughts from my diary after I post but geez -a-loo I made a classic example of spilling my damn spaghetti. Our relationship has gone through some changes but I ended up focusing too much on the negative because I let my pride and ego cloud my judgment. You could tell I my head was up my ass cuz I focused too much on how it was affecting me and not the fact that I should be worried about how he's been sick and was making concerning jokes about himself. I'll write more about this concept but damn I needed an ego check. I really want to try to become proper friends with my art senpai. But I will have to get over my inferiority complex if I want to grow closer.

7. What do you wish you worried about less?

This is going to sound incredibly cliche, but I wish I would just stop worrying about what other people think. I still do and it's stunted my growth, it is almost in the realm of ruining my life. I want to stop letting people affect my mood, stop waiting to hear other people's opinions, and stop pretending like I understand how people are feeling when I really don't. The Healthy Gamer put out a video about rejection sensitivity and it pretty much summed up my problem

This is why I can't seem to sit with neutral or negative social interactions. All logic tells me that I won't loose my confidante as a friend, but the fact that I'm feeling the lack of presence or maybe feelings of disapproval more than anything positive makes me anxious. I end up spiraling and I keep asking myself what should I do to fix this now that I've fucked up the friendship. I think this also why I have a desire to be babied. A baby or a little girl will most likely have immediate approval just by existing. There's safety in knowing that whatever I do will be met with patience understanding and support, and not the risk of judgment or disappointment. It also leads into body dysmorphia, a problem I have relapsed into again and again when I thought I was over it. "Oh if only I was smaller and cuter people would like me, they'd want to take care of me, but instead I'm a tall ugly adult woman who's a total crybaby and needs to grow tf up." The dysmorphia really fucks with me and I wish it wasn't just a problem for me in 2023.

8. What is your funniest memory of the year?

I can't really think of anything Laugh out loud funny memories. I was more stressed out than laughing. If I had to pick it would be the strange Chicago whether that brought upon holiday tone switches. On Halloween, there was a big snowstorm. The snow didn't stick and pile on the ground for too long but just the amount made it difficult to walk or drive in it. You'd think something like this would happen on Christmas but no. On Christmas Eve there was a thick layer of fog that made my town feel like Silent Hill. I'm not kidding, the stores and Christmas decorations made everything feel so creepy and liminal. It was the strangest thing. It's funny how things turned out like that.

9. What new or renewed friendships do you cherish?

I cherish the friendships I have now. The only ones I can think of is the friendships I want to renew or plan to add to my life. I want to be proper friends with my art senpai, this is true. There are also a few friendships I've grown distant from due to being busy. One of my closer friends seems to have left Discord out of nowhere and I need to find a new way of contacting him.

10. What bad habits do you wish you'd changed?

Ohhhh so many bad habits I should have dropped yesterday. To list off a few, general laziness is a big one, overeating, and over-stimulation leading to short dopamine bursts; i.e. laying on my bed watching YouTube videos or worse watching pornography. There's also negative self-talk and the habit of jumping to bad conclusions. We've talked about how I'm so afraid of rejection and negative reactions from others. I also want to stop being so conflict-avoidant. I don't want drama, but I don't want to tolerate bad vibes in my life like I normally do just to keep a social circle or just to keep the peace. If there is conflict I want to limit how sensitive I can be. I'm just a sensitive person and I don't think that will change. But being overly sensitive has held me back in terms of social competency. I can't just take a joke, and I get overbearing to others like constantly asking how they are feeling. If I'm too clingy I end up trying to be too present in their lives. If I don't get a text back that causes a spiral of self-blame. Day ruined. I also want to stop touching and picking at my face so much. I'm getting older and my skin will not be as forgiving if I pop a zit and it leaves a scar after picking so much at the scab it left. Some good habits I want to introduce in my life are waking up early again, going to the gym every day, regulating my emotions through meditation, washing my face every day, keeping a weekly schedule, reading more books instead of fucking around on YT, exercising my creative muscle more, eating healthy, and cleaning my room regularly. All of this will be helpful on my journey to excellency.

11. What theme do you want the next year to take?

I will be doing a lot more self-exploration. But I will not be just sitting around waiting for an epiphany. The quest for excellecy requires me to take action. So my theme for 2024 will be turning into a fully realized woman. I've been a woman for a long time now, but during that time, I had an aversion to calling myself a woman or engaging in womanhood. I was carrying what most people would call internalized misogyny. I'm not talking about traditional women being class citizens to men and their only purpose is sex, making babies, and making sandwiches kind of misogyny. It's I don't understand women very well so I should just not try to engage in active feminity. That being having more female friends, wearing make-up, decorating, fashion- all these things I thought were choices made by women to impress other people. But I've discovered that engaging with yourself this way is all part of growing up, and self-acceptance. It's not that I hate women it's just that I've yet to realize who I am as a woman. My identity is very weak. It might be why people find me boring after a while. There's nothing about me to latch on to, nothing solid. When you are a child you can wear whatever you want, roll around in a messy bedroom, and be fluid with your identity. It's not an issue specific to women, but I am a woman and I want to emphasize that. I'd say I'm an artist before saying I'm a woman. I don't mean take a megaphone and shout to everyone about my pretty pink princess. I want to make more independent choices for myself. I want to fully engage with my interests and not just observe them on the sidelines. I want to decorate my room all coquette and princess-y. My art senpai is what inspired this need in me. She doesn't just express her excellency through her art but I consider her a fully realized woman, brimming with confidence and maturity. I want to be the kind of woman that knows what she wants. It's a big reason why I wish to be proper friends with her. This leads me to my next point; having more female friends. You might notice that my life is very male-centered. The most trusted people in my life are my boyfriend, my confidante (who is male), and my dad. Plus all my other friends are guys. Having a lot of men in my life is not inherently bad. I love the men in my life very much. But I always thought something was missing from my relationships. There was a lack of freedom in conversation that I could not achieve with my male peers. To do this I must get over the hurdle of anxiety in messing up or failing to make a true connection.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

End of part one (kinda) I think I'm going to save the rest of what I wanted to say until tomorrow. Until then Happy New Year. I will appreciate how much I've changed!

16/10/21

I have worked in retail since I was 20 years old. I am 25 now. And let me tell you, oh ghouls. Let me tell you. It was the best and worst 5 years of my life.

I was expected to pick up the slack after my incapable managers. I was one of the only people that worked hard for a finished result. And the satisfaction of seeing said results would make me feel great. Yet it was never enough. Every day I went into a workplace that was full of rude, bitchy, bitter and backstabbing people. And only 3 days ago did I think "FUCK. THIS. SHIT."

I have been the one to pick up the pieces, tidy the monstrosities of sales, babysat the children of parents that have just had enough and let their kids go free into my place of work. I have endured rude and quite frankly insufferable customers, ran errands for my seniors, ran around the shop like a headless chicken searching for sizes, styles and things that compliment an outfit. I have even cleaned vomit, piss and blood (I don't know either) and spent many a day locked away in my happy place - the stock room. Getting shit done and listening to countless podcasts and audiobooks.

I knew retail wasn't for me, when one of my first managers targeted me constantly. Nothing I did was enough. What I did wasn't good enough and it was hell on earth. I had been with the company for 5 months at that point. And for 2 of those months, I was signed off sick with mental health problems. I came back and heard from a colleague that said manager had bet on me being the next to leave. To cut the long story short. I stayed. She left 3 years ago. And things were a little better.

Until recently. We took on a hiiiighly incapable manager -manager A- . Who truly is a sweetheart. But has not got a managerial bone in her body. Managers manage. Managers delegate. She does neither.

Another manager -manager B- was a very close friend for around a year. Especially whilst she was in a very emotionally abusive relationship. I did so much for her. As a member of staff and as a friend. And then I realised.... she was my friend. But I was nothing more than a scapegoat, someone willing to listen and do X, Y and Z for her. Because I cared. But she never did a thing for me. I was being taken advantage of. Whilst I did her managerial duties whilst under the impression of, I'm your friend. And I'm helping you. I saw her true colours soon enough. She is not a sweetheart. She's as cold as they come. She doesn't manage, she doesn't delegate. She dictates and rules the roost like a spoilt queen.

The final straw for me. Was 4 days ago. I got told by manager B whilst in the office 15 minutes before my shift that I "SHOULDN'T FUCKING BE IN HERE". Hey. You're right. I'm leaving. And so I got myself an interview, I rocked it and got offered the job then and there.

So that is where we currently are. I start my new journey cleaning people's homes, fixing their lives with passion and without having to deal with them face to face on the 1st of November. And even though you may think its a step down in roles. I couldn't be more excited. My mind will be radiant, I will be away from the not so pretty faces of retail. And I can't wait.

Hoping you will share your thoughts about the Nick/Greg switch. I'm a huge fan of both of them and I think this is a great move.

some of the thoughts have to do with the timing of the announcement and not really being surprised by it. i mean, i was surprised (and kinda sad that i won’t be able to listen to greg anymore outside of his podcasts) because it wasn’t like i was expecting it, but like, once i heard i was like ohhhh yeah well, that makes sense. ya know? like, i’m currently writing a completely 100% self indulgent radio 1 fic where harry and louis aren’t one of the djs there, but louis’ an intern so it’s got all the djs doing their thing outside of that, ya know? and part of that was because i love greg, ant, grace, and chris and their dynamic and wanted it in a fic. i wanted to be able to have scott and chris show up and refer to them. i wanted grimmy doing his thing as he does. i didn’t want any of them replaced. but that meant that i had to research info about their time slots, how long they’d been in them, when they started with radio 1, etc so i could accurately describe how harry came to listen to them and be so attached etc and while doing this reading i learned a lot about the details behind the numbers for the breakfast show since grimmy took over.

this got entirely too long, because when did i ever answer something in a few words when i could use a shitload? so beneath the cut are the rest of my thoughts lol

i mean, i think a lot of people knew that the numbers for nick on the breakfast show have never been what the breakfast show used to and is accustomed to pulling, but the big wigs at the bbc were constantly supporting him and backing him up, spouting things like “well the numbers for the older demographics don’t matter for us anyway because we’re looking to up the number for the younger demographic”, which it has done but not to the extent they were hoping for i would imagine. (please note all this is just my opinion and understanding of what i read, as an american mother whose degree was in english education and nothing to do with media or broadcasting lol) that being said, the numbers weren’t POOR. they just weren’t good or as high as was i think anticipated.

also please keep in mind though, that grimmy has a very specific appeal. the same reasons that a lot of people don’t like him are exactly why those who do are so faithful to him. he also rubs elbows and runs in friend groups with people who are well known and hold a certain appeal because they’re seen as the trendsetters, right? there is a lot that can be gained for bbc by having someone who is in that group because it’s all about who you know and who is on your side. those connections aren’t going to want to be thrown away.

greg, meanwhile, pulls exactly the demographic that the bbc bosses have said they wanted to increase for the breakfast show. when listening to newsbeat during scott mills’ show today, one of the radio 1 bosses had an audio clip saying that it’s the perfect time to announce for greg because after his success with pedal for the peaks in conjunction with sport relief and then going out there and doing interviews at biggest weekend with the top names in the music industry (i laughed this was included because greg is still getting clapback on twitter for telling taylor to her face she needed to take a shower) that he’s just been gaining momentum and making a good name for himself which just goes to show that he’s the perfect person for the job. 

here’s the thing with greg. he’s quirky and funny and not afraid to make an arse of himself and that makes people kind of instantly love him. he’s witty and funny and intent on making his show a safe space for him to be himself as well as his listeners. that doesn’t mean he won’t make fun of you, but it’s all done without the intent of being cruel. the time slot he’s in currently also allowed him to build a rapport across demographic lines because he’s on during the drive home for the uk which also means kids are out of school, studying, etc. by building up popularity amongst the demographic where it is understood the bbc wants to have a higher listenership for in the mornings, and then switching him at what appears to be the height of his name recognition, to the morning show is a fantastic move for them. it will hopefully do everything they want it to while also giving greg a chance at a slot that many djs aspire to have. 

back to nick. a lot of times, when djs reach the morning shows for their station, they either stay there because they’ve finally reached their goal, until they find something bigger to move onto, or they’re retired when it’s determined they are old news and no longer viable or sent to a less desirable sister station. that…is not happening with nick. he’s staying with radio 1, he’s just going to be doing the drive home instead. now, was it actually fully his decision? fully, probably not. partially, maybe. recently the other bbc radio stations moved to manchester (i stopped by just to look in while i was there since i missed getting a peek at the bbc studios in london). if grimmy were moved to radio 2, as often happens with the djs who are no longer pulling the demographic desired for radio 1, then the bbc would lose out on his social circles that are centered in london. not only that, but nick does still draw a crowd and is popular with younger demographics, so the move to radio 2 just doesn’t make business sense for them. plus nick very likely would not find that move appealing for career reasons.

so, this whole long winded post is just to say it makes SO MUCH SENSE that these two are switching slots for a lot of reasons and when i heard it immediately settled and was like ah. yeah. alright then.

NOW ME AS A LISTENER AND LOVER OF THEM?!?! i’m ecstatic for greg. i’m happy to not lose nick. i’m SO EXCITED i get to hear nick’s lovely northern voice more often since he’ll actually be on when i’m awake now lol but that means i won’t get greg’s soothing voice while i’m taking my kids to various appointments anymore, and that makes me a bit sad. i hope that greg keeps doing his weekly podcasts. i wouldn’t even mind if he did like scott and did daily. (i would be so happy i could cry, actually lol). i don’t want nick to stop doing his podcasts. i would love if he started doing them more like he used to rather than his once weekly “here’s my star interview of the week” podcast, which i don’t mind but preferred his older ones. i’m worried that grace and ant and chris won’t be going with greg to the breakfast show because they are as important to me and the dynamic greg has as greg himself. i’m sure chris won’t go, since he’s the news, but grace? ant? sigh. oh gosh i just caught up on nick’s insta and saw the post about fiona leaving the show too. THE TIMING OF IT ALL MAKES SENSE BUT I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT DETAILS HERE! sl;akdhg;alskfj 

so yeah. i’m sure you’re regretting it by now, but these are my thoughts and feelings regarding the announcement this morning lolll thank you for asking!

I don't feel great again. Today was a mixed bag. I felt real bad last night. And I was awake half the night because of aniexty about waking up late. James's alarm went off at 630 and he left. I got up not long after and got dressed. I actually felt okay. Like not 100% but alright. I called a lyft and headed to the UMBC campus.

My driver was very sweet but we were both confused when we got there. She got out and asked some people but I could see people woth posterboards so I figured that was where I was supposed to be. So i headed there.

I found a couple people from the BMI I know. So that was nice. And I got to talk to some nice people. Interesting people. I was for sure the youngest person in the room but I didnt feel dumb. I was excited.

I was in the exhibition group. Senior exhibitions. And i had a blast. There was some awesome trifolds. And some lack luster ones. The 5 i got to help judge ran the gambet. Just okay. To such outstanding research i was blown away.

We saw a board about Auschwitz, 911, polio, the stock market crash, and a preliminary Dday event cakled Exercise Tiger. And that one just blew me out of the water. The other judges as well. Basically it was a practoce for DDay where almost 800 people died from friendly fire. It was crazy. And they had gotten a ton of diaries and letters and docunents that were first person from an archive in Tennessee. It was just incredible work. We nominated them for a special award because they were just so good. And their display was shaped like a boat and that was so cool.

I had a really good time. We had lunch and wrote all our notes. Ranked the exhibits. And then it was time to go. And i really lucked out because the bus was coming just as i got to the stop.

It took like an hour but i had a nice ride. Got to see parts of the county I hadnt seen before. And then I was in the harbor!

I went to go say hi to James. And he was chief on Constellation with two of the new people that I only briefly Matt. So when I got in the New Girl Becky asked me for a ticket and I said no you've met me before I'm James's girlfriend and she said oh I need your help. Because there had been a group that came and the store didn't want to print them tickets it was a whole thing and she couldn't get in contact with James. So I said I would go get him and send him down.

Turns out James on a tour which is why he hadn't answered his phone. So I went and found him and told him that there was an emergency upstairs. I probably should have just said situation but still. And so I told the people that I was going to take her for their torso I gave it to duck tour to me is very nice people. And it was very funny. Didn't think I'll be doing that again. But the guests were really nice and took it in stride and James handled the situation and came back into the last stack. I hung out for a little bit and talk to the new guy. He was very sweet. And then I went and walked around the harbor.

I went over to the submarine and I got to see mr. Ed and gave him a hug. We walked around a little bit and talked. And then I went to Marshalls and bought nail files. Because I don't have any that are working right now. They're all dead. And then I went back to Constellation.

I took over the desk because James had had a girl from the store washing it for him and I didn't my old job for free. And then I sat with James for a while and we talked. He was applying for some new jobs. I know it's hard but I'll find something eventually. He's just got to keep plugging away.

I was starting to lose steam though and I wanted to go home. So I said goodbye. He would bring us dinner later and we would do some stuff for the beginning of her move.

I went to go take the free bus. It took a really long time but it was beautiful out so I didn't mind. I listen to my podcast and and the bus came and I got to stop at CVS and then I went home. I changed and let Sweet pea run around outside. And I laid down.

I kind of have slept for like 2 hours. But I felt really bad when I woke up. James a text me the make sure that he had my order correct he came over with dinner. He got us Burger King. An eating helped but up until about 45 minutes ago I have felt horrible. Just on the verge of throwing up and dizzy. We were able to get a little bit done. James brought some stuff up from the basement and we move some stuff into the living room so we can easily put it in the car tomorrow. But I couldn't do as much as I was hoping. And we were supposed to go to his place and make some space but I just couldn't at all call myself together to do that.

We laid here for a while and James try to make me feel better. But I really just needed to try to do some small activity. He headed home to beat the rain and I decided to paint my toenails. And it helped.

I was able to refold all of my clothes that are in the storage trunk at the bottom of my bad. I'm hoping I can fit everything in my closet in there as well at least for the moving part. I don't know if they'll stay in there when I'm living at James but there is space at least.

And now I'm just watching a video and getting ready to go to bed. I'm going to wash my face and do my teeth and everything. Tomorrow I have the whole day off. My plan is to wake up in the morning do laundry. And then James is coming over after he helps his mom cleared some space in the garage and we're going to move a lot of my studio stuff over there. I moved a couple things or no basket that I might need but all I could think of was tape and hot glue so I'm not doing great about partial moving. I'm trying.

Will spend the afternoon taking stuff there and taking some stuff to his place. And then he has a shift at the theater. And then I hope I can work on just making sure all of my plans are ready for Tiffany on Tuesday and just the general last-minute Sunday things. I desperately hope I don't feel bad again. This has not been fun. I don't know what's going on and I hate it so much. I don't feel like I have a cold or the flu I don't know why I just feel so nauseous and horrible. It sucks.

I hope you all have a great night. Happy Mother's day early. Sleep well everyone

My stomach hurts really bad right now. So I am going to lay down soon. But today's been a pretty nice day. Did not feel like a day off though.

I hate that my stomach hurts again. My stomach hurt really bad last night and after James friends left it didn't really stop. I washed my face and that helped cool me down at least. But it took like 2 hours before I was comfortable enough to actually sleep. So that sucked. It actually hurts worse tonight but at least I'm in my own bed and can try to deal with pain alone and not bothering James with my whining. Not that he would think that it was annoying but still.

We woke up this morning at 7 and I made him stay in bed until 7:30 because I was exhausted and I didn't want him to get up yet. I actually slept pretty well. And once I was dress I basically just left. I wanted to keep my momentum going because I really wanted to clean the apartment and finish my heart. It was cool out. But I was fine I had a sweater. And biking back to my house is easier because it's a one way that direction.

I got back to my place and unpacked. Laid out my dress for tonight. And then I cleaned. I vacuumed and I Swiffered. I cleaned out the fridge. I Cloroxed the inside of the fridge. I try to just get rid of all the Crows Nest that I've been feeling in the apartment. That took a while and then I worked on my diorama. I hadn't finished something and I didn't realize it. I went to photograph it and realized I had forgotten to make the whole Lantern section. So I quickly did that. I'm actually pretty happy with how it turned out even though I made in about 2 minutes. The rest of it took me a really long time so I'm glad I'm happy with it.

At noon I was ready for my interview. And then 1215 came. And I was like oh maybe she forgot. Which is fine it happens. I sent an email asking if she wanted to reschedule for later this week or meet in person since I live in the neighborhood. And then I actually headed over to the Walters. I wanted to drop off my ID card since I'm not volunteering anymore. And while I was getting ready for that I checked my email and I actually had an email from the teaching position. It looks like they're going to offer me the job but they can't actually do that until they have funding from the city approved. And they're not going to know about that until mid this week. But if all goes well I can be starting on the 22nd. Terrifying but I'm very excited. I am trying not to be too excited because funding could not come through but we got to stay positive.

When I was at the Walter's I left a note for the woman who I was having interview with there as well. And I got complimented on the embroidery I done on my volunteer bag. It was nice talkin to Laurel and then I headed down to Fleet Week.

It was wickedly busy down there. Like not as bad as I guess like City from what I saw but still very bad. I had wanted to go on some of the larger ships that the lines were incredibly long. So I just ended up walking around the outside. I whenever to the city of bismuth which is the Pontoon ship. Honestly the only one I care about. But the line was like 2 hours long. So I decided to just go up to the fence and talk to the guy with big gun. I asked him what the crew size was and we ended up talking for 10 minutes. He kept adjusting his gun and getting the same goofy smile on his face that James does when I talk and get too excited about something. All smiling and blushing. That was my one big flirting moment of the day but I like to tell people that I was flirting with all the sailors. But really I mostly just walked around and people watched. I ran into Chris and said hi. But the girls are just too crazy down there so I headed over to Fell's point.

Still crowded but much less lines. I got to see the Coast Guard Eagle tall ship. And that was cool because I didn't even know that the coaster had a tall ship. I did flirt with the sailors there as well. But mostly I was just fascinated cuz I had no idea that the Coast Guard had sale powered ships still. I mean that has an engine but that's really cool that the Coast Guard has a sail ship. And it was nice to walk around the back. I decided after I saw that one that I didn't even see any of the other ships. I'll probably try to see the godspeed tomorrow since it's right next to Constellation but not ships are letting us go below deck to my knowledge. And really all I care about is what the living spaces look like anyway. So I'm not that torn up about it.

Since I was down at fellas I walked around a little bit. Wanting a couple of the stores. I found a new store that just open today that is all Baltimore theme stuff that I think James would love. It's all novelty shirts and stuff. I like the aesthetic though. And I walked around the Goodwill for a bit too. I didn't have any luck there finding stuff for James apartment or the things I needed. I decided that I really should just go get lunch.

I went down to the harbor again and I had pizza. Listen to a podcast. And then I went to Marshalls to get winter lotion. I decided I want to switch over from Citra sense since its fall now. And had really good luck. I got a philosophy brand in the clearance section that's cream and mint. And I love it. And that's a really expensive Brands usually so it was nice to get it for under $10.

It stopped at constellation and talk to Frank for a while. Dropped off the half of my pizza to have lunch for tomorrow. And after a little bit of wandering around. I went and Build-A-Bear and found a life jacket that I return to the dragon boats. I had it home. I had seen some of the Thunderbirds going over. And that was interesting. But really I was tired. And I need to be in the house for a while just by myself.

I got back here and I took a very long shower. That made me feel a lot better. I basically spent the next two hours lounging in a robe watching TV. Playing with sweet pea. I wasn't exactly sure what time James was coming so I wasn't sure when to start getting ready. But ended up all working out just fine.

He got here about 6. And I had finished putting on my makeup and my dress a few minutes before that. I felt like I look really good tonight. My makeup was just on point and the dress look great and it was pink for the event was perfect. So I felt really good. And James looks super cute too. He always does. He let me do his hair.

We went and grabbed the bus to go to his parents house. I didn't have my charm card because I didn't know that we are going to be taking a paid bus. So he paid for me which was nice of him. We got up to his parents house and his mom had some of her friends there. And she had put out snacks. So we had snacks and talked. I got to talk about art for a while. And his mom had gotten the catalogs are ready for the show so I read through them which was good because I was not going to have a lot of time to read tonight while we were there. It was nice being able to talk about my art for a little bit too. I feel no more confident than when I'm talking about my art.

Me and James walked over to the BMA first. Because the adults were going to be driving. But just down the street we found a box of free stuff and there was a gold-framed mirror. Which if you know anything about me that is one of my favorite things. So he carried it back to his parents house for me. The adults all got a big kick out of that when we walk back in the door. But then we were back to the museum. We sat outside on the bench while we waited for them since they were the ones with the tickets. Or at least the information on how to get in. We watched a bunch of old people coming in and just talk. It was nice. I like to watching all the different people dressed up. A lot of people with John Waters mustaches drawn on or styled. So much pink so much gaudy. It was a blast. My dress was very very low cut so knowing that I was not going to be sticking out because of that was a little bit of a comfort.

They don't got there and we went inside. The line to get into the actual exam it was wicked long. So we all decided since it would have been wait anyway to just go up to the reception part and have snacks. Which worked out really well for me because I was starving and my stomach hurt. We had a bunch of snacks. And then me and James went and got a photo booth photo. He was so awkward looking in the top two photos it basically looked like a high school prom picture. So when the third one I made him dance a second just to get him to smile bigger. And in the last one I kissed him. It was just very sweet. After that we decided to go to the actual exhibit. It was a little bit of wait in line but not a big deal. We ended up being the first ones in in our group going up to the actual line. And then the last ones in when the door is opened. At least for our group. I asked the guy at the front and he said over 700 people to come in already that night. That's wild.

The show itself was fabulous. I would have probably changed the wall color. From the white Cube. But honestly I think for the commentary he was trying to make it worked well. There was one piece that is just a black curtain with sound coming out. It's a fake video installation. And I fucking love that piece. It was probably my favorite piece of the night. But honestly some of the pieces were so good and so instagrammable. I am glad that we're going to be able to go back. And spend more time. And read everything. Because there was just a lot of stuff that I would have liked to spend more time with. I am really glad that we got a picture in front of the have sex in the voting booth button. I apparently caught James off-guard when I kissed him. He was nervous enough about asking someone else. But it was very cute. And honestly the show is great and I can't wait to go back.

We headed out and went and found his parents again. And while we were standing there with his mom John Waters walked right past us. And I kicked my PO up and looked over my shoulder and told him great show. And he said hi to me. And it was just such a surreal moment. He's much shorter than I imagined. I don't know why but I always imagined to be 8 feet tall. And just lanky as all hell. Definitely a highlight of my night.

My stomach still hurt pretty bad though and we had seen the show and had the snacks. I wasn't really interested in choosing too much more than that. So we went to go get the bus. It was a nice ride back even though I was still feeling like complaining. We got back to my apartment and James made me a drink. I mean it's just Crystal Light. But there's something comforting about that because that's something I always drink when I don't feel very good. I jokingly told him I was going to make a handbook for the care and keeping of Jesse. And he said yes please make that. So I might jokingly make that. We'll see.

Sweet P just came over and wormed his way onto my lap. So he is all curled up on me now. Which is nice but I also would really like to go lay down. So I'll give him a couple minutes and then get to bed. I'm working all day tomorrow with Frank. I think I'm going to be doing the firing again and Frank said that he would spot me if I need help. I think it's going to be a fairly busy day. But we'll see what happens. I don't know if consolation itself is being busy or just the pier. We're still caustic money so I don't know if people are actually coming in that much. We'll see. I think it'll still be a pretty good day. Sleep well everyone.