#i'm almost done this one scene i've been struggling with for a bit
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Did you base the catalyst vampires off of other vampires in the media? Or, whats some catalyst universe specific vampire “quirks” or design choices? Lol sorry, got brain rot
the vampires in catalyst aren't really based off of any particular piece of media. they're sort of a strange amalgamation of every vampire au i've ever read, any tv shows or movies (aka twilight and first kill), plus my own little quirky details for the sake of plot.
any of the details i'm going to list below are catalyst specific according to me, but if anyone else has ever done them that's cool, i just didn't know.
vampires can go 2 years without drinking a drop of blood before they die of starvation, similar to how humans can go 2 weeks without food, just elongated to match a vampire's lifespan
most vampires feed once every month, which is less than twilight (i think) and most other vampire au's i've read, although i don't think many of them had specific hunger schedules. oh yeah it's also less than in the sims 4, if the vampire pack counts as vampire media lol
vampires aren't immortal. i gave them an age limit of 1000 because immortality is overrated anyway plus death is kinda nice sometimes. gives you a time limit. idk there was vsauce video about it that i watched once and haven't really stopped thinking about.
humans cannot be turned into vampires. if i were to implement that, though, the turning process would be drain all human blood, replace with a bit of vampire blood, yipee ur dead but also not, which just wasn't conventional and wouldn't be used in plot so i threw that whole concept out the window
vampires sleep during the day and wake up when the sun sets. i've read this in another vampire au, but am including it in this list anyway because twilight went "yeah vampires can chill during the day." however, if catalyst vampires could go out in the sun, i think all the sun would do is drain their energy and make them tired lol
for the first 40 years of a full vampire's life (20 for half-vamps), they can't fully see. i have another ask somewhere on here explaining how the process works, as well as other details.
fangs showing up only when needed isn't super original i don't think, but the whole warming of the skin when hungry thing is just a catalyst thing, i'm pretty sure.
also, like, vampires with eating disorders. i've never seen that anywhere else lol.
vampires being able to give birth (technically, minus all the issues that come with it) is also a catalyst thing i think??? idk i've only seen the first twilight movie so if vampire birth is in there.... whoops
vampires being entirely dead pretty much. no working organs, breathing isn't necessary, can't eat human food (unless the specific food holds essentially zero nutritional value), are also things i haven't seen in au's or media
vampires are just straight up a completely different species; they're not a subspecies of human. now, this would be a little weird for vampire-human... uh... breeding (i'm so sorry) but since vampires look so much like humans it's not really a big deal i guess
long story short i pretty much just went "what if we had humans and gave them fangs and a really long lifespan and then we gave one of them a shit ton of mental illness" and ran with that.
as for design choices, they're very similar to the typical vampire: pale skin, human-looking, fangs sometimes. eye colour doesn't really change if they're hungry, their pupils just get a little wider. skin tones can range from white as white can be to a dark grey, and eye colour can be anything, it just depends on the vampire and their genes, however the fuck genes work (i didn't take biology lol)
i've been meaning to write all this vampire lore out for a while, so i may be missing a few things in my list. catalyst (just like syzygy, another c!beeduo au of mine) was supposed to be a 2k one shot containing a silly little idea i had. instead, it bursted into this big, multi-chapter story, which isn't something i do often, so little things like specific details about the setting and all that other stuff aren't really thought out, because initially they really didn't need to be and i was too busy working out the plot to go back over and add those things. i'm a bit of a mess when it comes to writing longer pieces tbh.
now while catalyst may be my magnum opus, i am still– at my very core– just a silly little guy writing about minecraft men.
all the love and support has been insane, though, and i have appreciated it more than anything. it's the thing that keeps me going honestly. all the asks have helped me develop the world just a little bit more, and the insight i've been able to get, like how well my foreshadowing worked and how suspenseful i made each chapter, has helped tons as well.
the mere concept of people actively perceiving the things i put out onto the internet is crazy enough to me, so to have people thinking about my silly little fic and brainrotting about it makes me feel a little less silly (dw anon, i am also heavily brainrotting).
ty for the ask, and sorry for the essay of a response. the only vampire media i've consumed is twilight, first kill, and about 2 or 3 other fics, all from different fandoms (i'm not a big media consumer tbh), but i hope this suffices :]
#people asking me things#catalyst#i was writing a little bit of cbeeduo fluff (not catalyst related just a funny idea i got) when i got this ask#might write a little bit of chapter 10 today#i'm almost done this one scene i've been struggling with for a bit#one more scene after this one and then we're done ^_^#then i can start chapter 11#i think updates will slow down a bit once i start school again#my workload is gonna be lots and my motivation is going to be GONE#it's okay. i will cope.#hoping to get it done by january possibly.#if not then i'd say june at the latest#that would mean a full year of working on the same au oh god#idk if i can brainrot that long who knows#i'll push through tho dw i have lots of love in my heart for catalyst
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Lover (Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Reader)
Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Wife!Reader
Summary: The one where you found the most perfect love in the shape of a man named Bradley Bradshaw.
Warnings: None, just pure fluff.
Words: 2,273
Author's Note: I've noticed I have been writing a lot for Bradley these days. I think I should begin with my Hangman fic as soon as I can.
The immaculate smell of cookies emanated through the walls of the house as you and your son, Nick were mixing another batch of cookies. "Am I doing it right, mommy?" Nick asks as his little arms struggled to pull the spatula around the thick cookie batter.
"Yeah, you are. Do you need mommy's help?" You asked. Little Nick shook his head as he tried harder to mix the batter.
"I think I'm good, mommy." He replies.
You nodded as you smiled, ruffling his hair in the process. You then continued to mold the batter into the cookie pan so you could put it in the oven when you suddenly heard a cute giggle from the living room
You craned your neck to get a better view of the living room from the kitchen. Bradley was sitting on the floor with his eyes closed as your 4-year-old daughter smudged some makeup on his eyelids.
"Daddy, you need to sit still."
"Oh okay," Bradley says as he tried his best not to move. His hand wandered around the floor as if he was looking for something. "You think you could give daddy some more of this red one? I feel like the other cheek's a bit lighter than the other, baby girl." He adds as he raises a round blush palette in front of your daughter.
"One second, daddy. I'm almost done with your eyeshadow."
You smiled at the very wholesome scene in front of you. You sat on the kitchen stool as you turned to look at Nick who was currently munching on some cookies while he held a cold glass of milk in his other hand.
In the middle of your trance, some flashbacks from where it all started came flooding in.
Growing up with Bradley meant three things: endless singing, clothes trying-on montage, and running around by the shore the whole day. This continued until both of you grew up and needless to say, this also meant growing feelings for him.
You've always had the hunch that he knew about what you felt about him and that he just chose to ignore it for the sake of your friendship. By the time he graduated from the academy and was subjected to being part of the TOP GUN Programme, he finally cracked.
"Aren't you forgetting something?" He asked, crossing his arms on his chest.
"What do you mean?"
"Isn't this the part where you're supposed to tell me that you love me and you don't want me to leave? I mean, I'll be gone for 3 months."
Your mouth gaped in awe as you avoided his gaze. "W-What are you talking about, you idiot--"
He placed both of his hands on your shoulders as he leaned down to level his gaze upon you. "You're like an open book, sweets. You don't even try to close it."
He tapped your cheek gently as he grinned mischievously, making you scoff in embarrassment. "You knew? All this time?!"
"Yeah, since 10th grade." You couldn't believe it.
"Then why didn't you say anything?!"
He shrugged, "I didn't want to impose. I just thought maybe I was so attractive that you always looked at me in a certain way. But since you just admitted it, turns out I was wrong. You actually like me."
You gasped when you realized what he had just done, "You little-- Ugh! Damn you, Bradshaw!" You marched away from him as he ran to catch up with you.
"Come on now, you can't send me away like this," He whined, still laughing at your adorable reaction.
"Bradley, I swear to God I will punch you--"
"No thanks, but I'll take a kiss. It will last me three months, I think. But I'll let you know if I need more." He winked, making you frown in confusion.
"Bradley, just what are you on about?"
He rolled his eyes as he sighed dramatically. "Jesus, (Y/N). And here I thought I was the idiot one."
"Okay, Genius. You like me back. I get it."
He looked at you in confusion. "Do I?" You groaned as you punched his arm playfully. He chucked lightly before holding your wrists as he pulled you into a warm hug.
"I'm gonna miss you," He whispers on your neck.
You tightened your grip on his body as a response, earning you a soft kiss on your crown. "Now, where's my kiss?"
You giggled at the question. "Come back home in one piece, then maybe we'll talk."
He whined dramatically as he sighed. "Fine, I guess," He started to pick up his things as he looked over to the side where the airstair just opened. "Oh, there goes my ride." He pointed at the plane swiftly to catch your attention before he stole a quick peck on the lips as he ran towards the plane before you could even recover.
You were in complete awe as you stared at his grinning figure from afar, waving at you like a child before he went inside the plane.
After that, you came home smiling like an idiot.
3 months after, when you heard that he was graduating from TOP GUN, you immediately packed your things and flew to San Diego. As soon as he spotted you from a sea of pilots in white uniforms, he pushed his way out of the cramped space and gave you the tightest hug you have ever received from him.
"So, where's my kiss?"
"I believe you stole one 3 months ago."
"Aw, that's not fair. Can I have one as a graduation gift?"
You sighed in defeat. "Fine, just one. Then we'll talk, okay?" You tiptoed as you gave him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled lovingly at you as he nods, "Yes, ma'am."
When both of you finally had the time to talk, you tried to figure out what to do with your relationship. As per Bradley, both of you didn't need to figure it out since he had already absorbed the thought that you were his, and he was yours.
Bradley was the greatest boyfriend you could ever ask for. He'd bring you souvenirs that he claimed 'reminded him of you' while he was still away, give you massages out of nowhere, and braid or brush your hair for fun while listening to you rant about how the supermarket never restocked your favorite potato chip anymore.
When Bradley was young, he could clearly remember seeing his parents dancing around the living room as he sat there while clapping with joy. He could also remember his parents singing a song while he sat on top of the piano, trying his hardest to sing along to what they were singing.
His parents were the happiest with each other. As he grew up, he reflected on that thought and decided that he wanted that kind of relationship. A pure, happy, and passionate one.
A year after he graduated from TOP GUN, he decided to pop the question. He figured that he couldn't wait any longer and wanted to just take you home with him and be with you forever. Of course, you said yes.
Your marriage was pure bliss. Bradley was very consistent, and he proved himself to be better as the days went by. After a year of marriage, you found out you were pregnant.
Bradley found out about it through a little game you set up when he came home from a mission. You placed a bun inside of the oven and lead him to it as he stared at the oven for a good 10 minutes. "Babe, I think the bun's burning. Don't you think you should take it out already?"
You suppressed a smile as you shook your head. "Nah, it's not due to come out 'till September."
He frowned in confusion. "What? The bun will be spoiled by then---"
You rolled your eyes at his cluelessness. "Jesus, Bradley. I'm pregnant."
He blinked at you for a while, taking all the information in. "Oh." He breathes out. His eyes widened as he suddenly pointed at the oven. "A bun in the oven--Oh my god! You're pregnant! I'm gonna be a dad!"
He lifted you up carefully as you laughed at his reaction. "And here I thought you were so smart, you couldn't even figure that out."
"I'm sorry, babe. I think it's the post-flight brain fog." He grinned before hugging you lovingly as both of you ended up cuddling on the couch for the whole day.
All throughout your pregnancy, Bradley was very hands-on and protective. In your fifth month, he already bought some things to use for babyproofing around the house. When he found out that both of you were having a boy, he passed out.
When Bradley found out that your water broke, he immediately filed for an emergency leave for a week just to be there for you during your labor. But the moment he got to the hospital, you were already holding your baby boy in your arms.
You could tell that he was mesmerized by his newborn with the way he looked at him. He cried for 2 minutes while he hugged the little boy close to his chest as he carried him away from you to get some alone time with him.
When Maverick and Penny came to visit, Bradley refused to let his newborn go. Bradley wanted to hold him for as long as he could, even if his arms went sore. He sat by the corner of the room as he cooed at the little boy in his arms
"Let me hold him, Brad." Maverick says as he earns a groan from Bradley.
"Not today, Mav. I'm having my moment here."
Needless to say, he remained like that for hours.
When Bradley was a good husband, he was also a good father. Unlike any other dad, he loved doing the dirty work. You never knew why he was always so excited about changing the diapers, bathing the baby, and feeding them even if it was messy to deal with. When you saw how happy he was with it, you figured it was just him being a doting father to his firstborn.
When Nick was about 2 years old, there came baby number 2. You cried yourself to sleep after you found out that you were pregnant again and Bradley couldn't be there for you because he was stationed for a year in a different country.
You called him and told him everything. He assured you that everything was going to be fine as he promised to be home as soon as he possibly could.
After a year of being away, Bradley finally came home to a reading little boy and a crawling baby girl.
That night, he cuddled both children to sleep after reading them a bedtime story. You were left to sleep alone in your shared bedroom, but it didn't matter. You just didn't want any of this happiness to end.
In the middle of the night, you felt an arm wrap around your waist as Bradley buries his face on your neck from behind. "I'm sorry for not being able to be there for you when you were carrying our little girl. I promise to do the best I can to make up for the lost time." He whispered.
You used to think that perfect love didn't exist. Little did you know that that kind of love took a human form in a man such as your husband.
"Hey, hun. You okay?" You heard Bradley ask you as you snapped out of your thoughts.
"Yeah," You replied as you turned to look at him and laughed. "Wow, honey. You look...good."
"Yeah, I know, right? I feel like a walking butterfly clip," He says as he poses in front of the mirror, combing the wig with his hand to straighten it up. "Man, I look hot. Our daughter should be a makeup artist when she grows up."
You laughed as you took a minute to absorb his little ensemble. His blonde wig was out of place, he had colorful hair clips around it, and he was wearing a pink, frilly apron from the little tea party your daughter set up a while ago before she decided to mess with her dad's face.
You made your way towards him as you hugged his waist. "I love you so much, Brad."
He hugs you back as he places a gentle kiss on your forehead. "I just hope you didn't do something bad, but I love you more." You slapped his chest gently as you chuckled.
"Daddy, you forgot your earrings!" You and Bradley looked down to see your adorable daughter handing her dad some plastic clip-on earrings. Bradley gladly takes them from her little hands as he clips them on his ears.
"I think this calls for a family picture," Bradley says as he reaches for the camera, pulling the children towards the living room. Nick sat with his plane next to Penelope with her doll as Bradley set up the camera. You sat next to the kids as Bradley ran to sit beside you before the camera flashed. As soon as it ended, Bradley and the kids looked at the photos.
"Mommy's got a third eye."Nick laughs as he looks at the photo before pointing at your forehead. You frowned in confusion as you immediately looked for a mirror, and there you saw a lipstick mark on your forehead. Bradley.
You looked at him as he grinned. "I love you." He mouths at you before looking at more pictures with the kids.
Life couldn't get any better than this.
#bradley bradshaw fluff#top gun maverick#bradley bradshaw fic#bradley bradshaw x female reader#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x oc#bradley bradshaw imagine#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster fanfic#bradley bradshaw x y/n#bradley bradshaw x you#bradley bradshaw x wife#bradley bradshaw headcanon#rooster top gun#top gun rooster
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I've been thinking about the fact that a lot of us identify so strongly with these characters because we identify strongly with their trauma. The specific trauma of either Aziraphale or Crowley mirrors something from our own life in a way that makes them feel intensely real to us.
And that's definitely true in my case. Aziraphale's traumas and flaws and character arc mirror my own life in such a way that watching GO is an extremely powerful experience for me. But I'm specifically reminded of a much younger version of myself. The very first time I watched the show, I noticed it during the Garden of Eden scene. I'd never read the book, knew nothing about the show except it was an angel and a demon everyone shipped, and in the very first scene I was texting one of the friends who had been urging me to watch it like "lol omg why is Aziraphale literally me in high school??" (I'm almost forty, high school was awhile ago.) So it's like this intense reliving of that time of my life, how painful it was and how lost I felt and yes, some of the truly obnoxious shit I did and said while I was struggling to figure it all out.
The other thing, though, is that I'm still a very Aziraphale-coded person, just in terms of my overall personality and vibe and strengths and weaknesses. And that's the other really meaningful thing I've taken from the show, actually, because I'm like an Aziraphale who finally completely broke free from Heaven and then got a lot of therapy. (Seriously. So much therapy.) Which isn't to say that I'm now some totally evolved paragon of mental health. I'm not. I think what I'm trying to say is that my identification with Aziraphale isn't just about the trauma. It's about the good bits, too. And it's actually really comforting and affirming to be reminded that working through a bunch of my stuff in therapy hasn't made me any less me. It hasn't changed me into a whole different person.
One of the most Crowley-coded people I've ever met is my therapist. (It's probably why we clicked. I could not possibly have done a bunch of intense trauma therapy with someone who was too much like me.) He's a really good therapist, and like any really good therapist, he's done the work on himself so that he's not walking around being a bundle of unresolved issues while he's trying to help clients. But he's still very Crowley-coded. He's got the sass, the quick wit, the fun clowning around energy. He would totally be a demon who glued coins to the sidewalk. He comes across like a Crowley who's content and comfortable with himself.
Not just about the trauma.
These characters aren't just their traumas, and neither are we.
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Gooooood morning Trigun fandom, I'm up bright and early, ready to sink my teeth into today's analysis/detailed watchthrough episode - 11. To A New World.
I can't believe we're almost done with @tristampparty. These 12 days have been a blast and I'm very glad that I got to chat abt them!! I've been in a bout of artblock recently too, so I'm glad that I can just ramble instead!
Spoilers for Trigun Stampede and Trigun Maximum, and CWs for. okay this one is a Lot, but discussion of violation of bodily autonomy, sexual assault and trauma, pregnancy, transphobia, harm coming to children, Millions Knives in general, Vash's passive suicidal tendencies. If I think of any more I'll pop them up here but this episode is a heavy one!
If you wanna skip those first few CWs (Totally understandable <3), you can skip the paragraphs labelled with a [CW] at the front.
[CW] Okay so we're gonna tail off the end of Episode 10 for a second, but uh. Knives in this scene is using extremely Loaded Language to outright tell Vash that there is something wrong with him that needs to be fixed.
Just to be clear I do think Vash is very trans-coded (intentionally or not), and that very strongly influences how I interpret this scene - I myself am a trans man as well.
Cool, moving on! That's all really for the end of ep 10, I just needed to point out that Knives is using language that is commonly used to justify corrective sexual assault; which is pretty much what my reading of this scene is analogous to.
what in the fresh hell i got jumpscared by dub again. returning to subs hold on a moment. Like i've been checking dub occasionally to match up some dialogue and make sure I'm not being misled by Subtitle Jank but I'm one of those guys who can't listen to anything without subtitles lmao
But i also think i do get the funniest possible translation of this line - actually wait no i hate the double meaning (with Vash's body being used to kickstart the pregnancy imagery). was that intentional. who did this.
Anyway Meryl kicking Wolfwood is really funny but also like. Yeah. justified. She's having a no good awful time but like. She's so willing to believe in Vash, to chase after him even into Extremely Dangerous conditions (There's those hints of Trimax Meryl again....) and Wolfwood is being an ass here. (An understandable ass. But an ass nonetheless). Which is to say YEAHHH MERYL GET HIS ASS!!!
Knives' gay little like. bodysuit here. He and Vash have the same build but their respective clothes make them stand out very differently. Also that Knives' stuff seems to have more muscle definition (HYDRATE. You shouldn't have that Knives you need water :pensive:) which could be building towards his more intimidating appearance.
Also I'd be a fool to not show everyone my initial reaction to this
I've talked a little bit about how Vash uses his gun as a tonfa (thwacky baton) most of the time in melee combat, and I think that's a great way to show him utilizing something Knives gave him to Kill as a nonlethal weapon - in this, however, he doesn't have it and his normally very fluid very good form martial arts is flailing and panicked. Vash is pretty good at keeping his cool in most combat situations, and is a very skilled fighter. Seeing him lose that cool and just start struggling when Knives tries to grab him is :(
Once again the metal/organic dichotomy is coming into play - the creation of inorganic but the destruction that comes from the organic. Typically plant (as in flora) powers in media lend themselves to being creation powers, life, and healing. But Vash here has that plant (flora) theme but those are very much a force for destruction.
Also Knives with the angelic white, and Vash with the black.
I hate Conrad So Much (he's such a good character). Like we Know to some extent that dependent plants are self-aware enough to feel pain, to hold onto memories, to hatred, to love. They don't have consciousness the same way humans or Independents do, but they feel, they live, they understand what Vash tells them. Maybe it is a shallow form of themselves. But I think something a lot of people fail to realize is that (some, not all, because they are individuals even throughout a hivemind) plants appear to enjoy their purpose.
Once again the memory that is shared with Knives in Trimax of a woman and her child thanking the plant for her service and she smiles? After being fused, that plant held onto that memory. I've been given no reason to believe that plants in Tristamp are different, so Conrad is just,,, ignoring the subtleties of plants and taking away their agency to choose for themselves. Doubly so for Knives, who can communicate efficiently with them.
A very quick blink and you'll miss it detail is that Vash says "It was our fault humans crashed here!". The shifting blame and guilt between the two is something that is fighting the narrative allll the time, but Vash attributing to both of them as an appeal to Knives is interesting to relay how he feels.
I also don't think Vash is right, though, when he says the only reason humans abuse plants is because they crashed. Tesla was before, Chronica in Trimax has apparently seen independent fusions before (For what reason?). Like yeah to this extent it's a result of the big fall, but there'd still be problems without it. Nobody is right in this argument lmao
(except me. I'm always correct about everything ever)
[CW] Once again - violating Vash's consent and autonomy because he does not agree with or differs from Knives. Corrective violation, in this case. It's also important that it's Meryl who calls this out - she has to really really struggle for her autonomy to be important. She's small, carry-able, inexperienced, doesn't have any special powers or genetic modification. She's carrying a tiny gun from a man who can never back her up anymore. In fact, nobody is backing her up! She's out here alone! But she's sticking up for Vash. She cares about him,,,, so much
SURPRISE ROBERTO ATTACK [sobs]
Meryl pulled the nail out of him and placed his hands gently over the wound, as one might do in a casket. A memorial of cigarettes and his flask. All this will be destroyed soon, but Meryl did give him a funeral to the best of her ability.
Knives using Roberto's image is cruel as hell. Not to Vash but to ME. He's already dead you can't do this to meeee. "How do you think they'll react when they learn you caused the big fall" He will never learn it!! he never got the chance!!!
So fun fact you can actually eat geraniums. It's just that if Rem had said yes Vash probably would have eaten it right there and then. I've made that mistake before (told one of my class that nasturtiums were edible and he just ate one. right from the plant)
So; the Tesla scene. Something I do want to point out is that Rem finds them almost immediately, and Knives doesn't immediately pass out - Is he still catatonic enough to miss Rem's speech, or did he hear it? Because the reason that Vash turned out like he did is because he was awake to go through that with Rem - Knives was unconscious the entire time and didn't get to start that trauma recovery.
It's also important to recognize that these memories could be unreliable, especially as Knives tampers with them later.
I do want to know which version of the Bible Knives was reading. Because depending on translation/version, you can get Very different ideas out of that.
Anyway Knives is kind of beginning his spiral in that memory - "Humanity never learns" kinda shit, which seems to take place after Tesla. Who knows how long. But baby Vash calls that out and goes "yeah lets have faith"! Baby Knives looks a tad shocked and then Present Knives just. Cuts off the memory. What was the ensuing conversation!!! Hello???
Like he's clearly Having Thoughts (The Horror), we just don't get to know what those were.
So remember when I said it was interesting that Vash said it was "our" fault that the ships crashed, sharing the blame?
Yeah that gave Knives some ammo that just. Broke him. Shifts it allllll to Vash. Update Vash's description to running on 18 guilt complexes, CPTSD, and bisexuality.
[CW] There's so many different forms of assault, metaphorical and. Not. That is happening in this scene from mind violation to Knives literally using Vash's (specifically Vash's) body as a vessel to impregnate other plants which. Hey did you know that pregnancy is a massive fear of a lot of trans men. So many transphobes reduce trans men to their capability to have children, as if that's all they're good for (even if it would kill them.), and that often leads to corrective rape in order to "remind them of biological reality". In this case, Vash is a plant, he's meant to create, and yet he doesn't. But he's still being used to create anyway.
Again, Meryl also directly calls out Vash's lack of consent and gets shot down by Conrad. The whole scene is just. Hgnrhgnhrhnrnrn. It's So,,, everything to me, because it's a really good scene and shows you how far gone Knives is in Tristamp.
There are panels in Trimax that are,,, the imagery is there, but it's very overt in Tristamp.
Also hey yeah. Why is Conrad still alive?? Did he have access to cold sleep? or it's probably the robotics but did he not think of enhancing humans that way? It might just be a temporary solution, I guess, given that he is. Actively coughing up blood.
Alright! I have finished this part of the analysis that I always Feel Strongly about lmao - I have fun doing it but that's such an emotionally heavy episode.
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Idea: Ruben and a really really shy reader. He wants to tell her that he is into her but because nobody has ever shown interest in her she doesnt beliebe him at first :)
Here you go babes! 🥰
Ruben Dias x Reader - Elevator Crush
Enjoy!
"Was he an intern like you?" You thought.
You knew that his name was Ruben somthing. You had a friend do a little snooping for you the day you first discovered your elevator crush. Every morning the two of you would share the intimate space with a bunch of other people on their way to work. You would look to Ruben between the arms and heads of strangers in the elevator. If only he knew that you existed, you thought. If only he knew that you had a huge crush on him.
"Hey."
It had been raining that morning. And there was a big traffic jam because of the flooding of the roads. Not alot of people had made it to work that day and so the elevator was empty when you got on it. That is, until Ruben step on to it as well.
"You talking to me?" You frowned, although there was only the two of you standing in the elevator.
"Well I wasn't talking to myself." He chuckled.
He wore his regular blue suit and carried a briefcase. His hair was wet like yours, perhaps he had just come from outside, in the rain.
"Oh. Hey." You said and gave a slight wave with your hand.
Usually people stood facing the door whenever they rode the elevator. To your surprise, Ruben leaned his side against the wall in a way that allowed him to look at you and you at him.
"I'm Ruben." He said.
"I know." You muttered.
Ruben wasn't just some silly crush you met in a elevator, turns out he was also the CEO of the sports management company that ha their offices above yours. Again, your friend had done some snooping. It would be the last time you'd ask her to. Turns out Ruben was so out of your leauge.
"Do you have a name?"
"Huh?" You looked up from your feet to see Rubens eyes still on you, indicating that this wasn't just a plain "Hello, goodbye" situation. He was really trying to have a conversation with you.
"Your name, do you know it?" He smiled.
"Oh, you wanna know my name?" You blushed. "It's Y/N."
"Y/N." He nodded approvingly. "I like it. It's beautiful."
"Thanks." You muttured, struggling with eye contact.
"I've always wondered what it was."
"My name?" You frowned.
He nodded.
But that must mean...You couldn't believe it, had he been checking you out too? All this time?
"I'm just an inter." You said, a slight need to astablish the fact that there was clear barrier between your job titles. He was a CEO, compared to you he was worth somthing to the people working within these walls.
"I was an intern too once." He said, almost dreamingly.
"You were?" You were in awe of how humble his personality was. He just seemed so friendly and so sure of himself.
"It's a good way to start." He said.
You nodded. "I guess we all have to start somewhere."
"I agree, how about dinner?"
"Come again?" You almost choked on your own spit. Ruben however did not budge.
"I'd like to start somthing with you, how about we start with dinner. Tonight? After work?"
B...but I'm drenched." You said, running a hand through your wet hair.
"So am I. We might have time to change if you come to my place and clean up."
"Your place?" You said, eyes widening in surprise. It was like a scene taken straight from one of your crazy imaginations, your Inappropriate imaginations. "Ruben I hardly know you and I..."
"That's what dinner is for. " He interrupted. "To get to know each other."
"You want to get to know me? Why?" You were really unsure if you were hallucinating or not.
Ruben pushed away from the elevator walls, closing the already small gap between you. The height difference was insane.
"Y/N." He said, voice dark and horase.
"Yes?" You bit your lip and felt the need to match his height by weighing on your tippy toes. You had never stood so upclose to each other before. Rubens eyes searched your face and yours his.
"This is me asking you out. Just say yes." He whispered.
"Yes." You said, not exactly sure what you were agreeing to. But hey, like Ruben said, maybe it was the start of something and everyone has to start somewhere. You just never thought It would be in a stuffed elevator.
#fanfiction#manchester city#man city#ruben dias#football x reader#football imagine#ruben dias imagine#football angst#footballer x reader
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you just need your rest ; Swiss/Aether ; E
i've been working on this for a bit, but @obsidianghoul commissioned me with this wonderful snippet of an Aether/Swiss prompt involving Aether and Swiss having a scene and Aether having to safe word. I'm absolutely honored that you trusted me enough to write this for you <3
I hope I did it justice! Throwing this up here before I go to bed, but I'll cross post it to AO3 tomorrow :) title is from pine barrens yea lets not talk about how much i listened to it while writing this
warnings: overstimulation, dropping, safe wording.
content: restraints, Aether has two dicks, aftercare and a lot of fluff
-
Aether is, essentially, the foundation that holds the pack together—even before they were as full a pack as they are now. Strong and steady, comforting and quiet when someone needs a shoulder to lean on, a firm hand to guide—he’d done a lot, taking over for Omega after Omega’s final departure from the church; guiding the new summons and making sure they were acclimated to life on the surface.
All of it had fallen on his shoulders then—much like things still do now, even though Dew and Cumulus had taken on most of the inter-pack hardships since Aether had gone to Copia one night shortly after the first Imperatour to let him know that he was considering retirement.
Touring was a lot of fun, playing off the energy of his pack, an extreme blessing from the Eternal Father himself, and Aether was grateful for his tenure as a band ghoul.
He was just tired.
These days, his load is much lighter. He spends a lot of the time dealing with paperwork while Copia’s away, becoming an extension of Papa himself, standing in for meetings with the Clergy, much to their own chagrin about a ghoul of all things, taking the place of their esteemed leader.
But they hadn’t fought as hard as they did in the early days of it all, restructuring the church from the inside out, for a few whispered words from some old stuffy suits to really affect him all that much.
He helps in the infirmary, lending a hand and his magic to the staff there, tending to children and the terminal patients, hoping to make them as comfortable as possible.
It’s something he’s grateful for, the experience he’d had before with seeing the world and working closely with his pack, and the experience now, of helping Copia run the church in the manner intended. Having a part in bringing everyone together in His name was the reason that he was who he is today—blood, sweat and his own tears.
Loyal, faithful in his own way, willing to step in where needed no matter what—these were all the reasons that he still had a place, the love of his pack rushing strongly through his veins; their support on the nights that things were the hardest.
He was the foundation of it all, the one that people still came to, his pack still came to when things weren’t going the way they should—he took the brunt of Sister Imperator’s ire whenever something came up and Copia wasn’t present, funneling all his energy into making things right.
His physical load of work was much lighter than touring most of the year, but the mental toll of it all has him dropping harder than he can handle most days, collapsing tiredly into his bed, on the couch, anywhere he can lie horizontally after a long day of working through crisis after crisis—lending his shoulder to struggling siblings, to struggling ghouls who’d been summoned for mundane tasks, the ever overbearing presence of the Clergy asking him to break down what Copia’s next plan was for whatever new issue they had churned up.
It’s shortly after everyone returns from the last Imperatour that Aether finally allows himself a moment to just be.
He seeks out Swiss almost immediately—he could go to anyone, really, but Swiss knows how to handle him, knows what he needs without him having to actually say anything.
His room is still in a slight disarray, his suitcases are lined neatly along the wall by the door, but one of them is opened and clothes are spilling out onto the floor while Swiss carefully sorts through another pile he’d overturned onto his bed.
Aether stands there by the opened door, feels something heavy in his heart and chest unclench, finally able to see, to tangibly feel him after being apart for so long, their bond buzzing happily as Aether opens himself up to the questioning probe of Swiss’s everything.
“How long are you gonna stand there, handsome?” Swiss asks, his back’s still turned and he’s mostly unglamoured now; his tail swaying slowly behind him to some sort of tune that Swiss had been humming softly before he’d spoken.
Accepting the invitation for what it was, Aether steps into the room, words caught in his throat as he closes the door quietly behind him, watching the way Swiss’s head turns, his profile beautiful and strong, the soft lavender downy feathers along his jawline a stark contrast to his darker skin.
The words still stick thickly in Aether’s throat as he crosses the space, closing the distance between them with careful yet large steps until he’s able to wrap his arms around Swiss’s waist from the side, pressing his face into his shoulder and just existing.
He feels more than hears Swiss laugh, the vibration against his own chest from where they’re pressed together, and then Swiss is turning in his arms, wrapping his own over Aether’s shoulders and holding him close, resting his chin on the top of Aether’s hair, right between where his horns curl outward and away from his head.
“We’re going to have to talk about this,” Swiss says after a moment, his voice low and comforting, he’s not chastising or chiding him, and Aether knows he isn’t, but he can’t help the way he tries to bury himself deeper into Swiss’s arms at the words.
He doesn’t want to talk about it.
That’s why he came to Swiss.
“I know what you need baby, but there’s a few things we need to establish first,” Swiss continues, as if he can read Aether’s mind—and well, to an extent he can, the two of them so in tune with each other now.
He finally makes a noise, a sigh that’s a little bit put upon, but he nods carefully—mindful of his horns and Swiss’s place so close to them. Still, words leave him, rendering him unable to speak.
“We’ll take our time,” Swiss murmurs then and presses a kiss between Aether’s horns before he pulls away, just long enough to shuffle the clothes from the bed to the floor, before he’s maneuvering the two of them down into the blankets.
Aether hasn’t been in Swiss’s bed since he left for tour in the spring, his scent almost fading from the pillows and blankets on the bed—being refreshed by their combined scents sends a spark of something through him as a low, rumbling purr looses itself from his chest—its involuntary and Swiss immediately bullies his way between Aether’s legs so he can rest between them, settling atop his chest like some sort of person shaped weighted blanket.
He purrs louder, feeling grounded in a way he hasn’t in so many months, his eyes fluttering closed as he sinks back into the pillows behind him, as he feels Swiss draw a blanket up over the two of them, cocooning them in with softness and warmth.
He falls asleep at some point, with Swiss’s head on his chest, only vaguely aware of the somewhat rusty answering purr that comes from the multi-ghoul on top of him.
-
When Aether awakens, Swiss is holding him now, their positions much different than they had been before—his face pressed into Swiss’s collarbone and Swiss’s arms wrapped tightly around him.
Swiss is, of course, awake, his hand rubbing slow circles along his lower back almost like he’s kneading there, and Aether can’t help the content sigh that leaves his mouth as he closes his eyes again and sinks back into Swiss’s embrace.
“Feeling better?” Swiss asks after some time, his fingers had slowly worked their way under Aether’s shirt, untucking it from the back of his pants so he could draw shapes along his lower back, callus roughened fingertips oh so gentle against his skin.
He can talk now, and Aether knows he should, but there’s part of him that wants to keep the quiet for a bit longer, let Swiss touch him oh so gently before he asks for something firmer, before he discusses everything and lets Swiss take control.
In the end, he sighs and rubs his cheek against Swiss’s shirt, a warm and worn thing he’d had on for a lazy day in that smells strongly of him, “Marginally.” he finally manages to make himself say. “There’s a lot going on.”
Swiss hums softly, tracing a little heart along Aether’s spine, “I heard,” he says, keeping his voice low, speaking mostly into Aether’s hair, not complaining about the uncomfortable press of Aether’s horn against his collarbone. “Things always get hectic at the end of a tour, yeah?” he murmurs, drawing another heart along Aether’s spine, “But you do so well, you handle it all with the grace of a leader,” he smiles a little, “I know you came to me for a reason, big boy.” he adds on after a moment, his fingertip dipping lower to drag along the waist of his slacks. “But we’ve got to talk about it first.”
Aether exhales loudly, he’s not trying to be difficult about this—a brat, Swiss would call him if he were privy to his thoughts, but the thought of talking about it makes his skin feel too tight, makes him want to hide.
“I guess, yeah. I did come to you for...this. You’re the only one who can really get me to...” he trails off, the word’s on the tip of his tongue, he wants to say it, he really does, but it sticks there, against the roof of his mouth.
Swiss makes a pleased sort of sound, “Drop?” he supplies the word, rewarding him with a kiss to his hair, a sweeping across his lower back with two of his fingers; the touch light and barely there but it still lights every nerve ending of Aether’s on fire.
“Uh huh,” Aether mumbles in agreement, presses his face into Swiss’s shirt again, moving his lips around the word, mouthing drop against his shirt until he feels like he’s able to say it, “I want to not be in control for a little while.” he continues, “I feel like I’m going to claw my own skin off because everything’s just too much right now.” he admits quietly, bunching his fingers into the soft material of Swiss’s shirt.
Swiss is quiet for a moment, long enough to let Aether’s words sit between them, before he shifts on the bed, maneuvering the two of them around until he’s sitting back against the headboard and Aether’s leaned properly against his chest; his palm now spread across Aether’s back as a point of skin-to-skin contact.
“Thank you for trusting me enough to come to me with this,” Swiss murmurs, “And I’d be honored to be the one to take you out of your mind for a bit,” he adds, ducking down to press a quick kiss to the corner of his lips, “We need to go over a few things, and then we’ll go get something to eat and maybe once we’ve finished eating, we’ll scene tonight, if you’re up to it. Or we can table it for tonight and look into it sometime tomorrow. I’ve got a clear schedule and I’m sure Copia’ll be glad to take back his paperwork duties to get out of post tour concert meetings. Gotta give his right hand a proper rest now that he’s back at the church and can take over his duties again.”
Aether snorts softly, though he doesn’t deny it—Copia does hate speaking with the Clergy most of the time. “Once we eat, I’ll have an answer then,” he says with a little sigh. He feels tired, limbs heavy and he knows that it’s mostly from the way he’s been ignoring his own needs these past few days leading up to this. His mental capacity to take care of everyone slowly fills until it’s nearly overfull.
Swiss hums and slides his hand further up Aether’s shirt, smoothing his palm across his back in a slow, comforting motion, “What exactly do you want from this? Beyond me taking the control?” he asks, “Specifics, if you can. Penetration or none, do you want to be restrained. Things like that.”
He thinks on it then, contemplates what he wants, his brain trying to overthink and wonder if something he wants is too much for Swiss to want to do so soon after tour.
“No penetration,” Aether finally settles on, “I’m okay with restraints, the ones you know I like, with the padded cuffs that don’t hurt.” He stops then, pressing his lips together as another thought comes to the forefront of his mind, “I don’t want to hurt.” he says, “I don’t want to be hit, or in pain.”
Swiss presses a kiss to his temple, keeping his palm flat against Aether’s back, “No pain, no hitting, no penetration.” He lists back, his voice low and warm. “Do you have an idea of what you want?” he asks, “Something to take you out of your mind, yeah?”
After a moment, Aether huffs, “Honestly I think if you make me come a few times, that might be enough for me.” he says, feeling only a slight bit of embarrassment as he speaks. “It’s been a while for me. I feel like a few orgasms could really reset everything.”
A laugh, soft and fond falls from Swiss’s lips, “A few orgasms,” he says with a smile. “I can do that. I have an idea, let’s get some food in you and I’ll run it by you afterwards. You tell me what you think, and we can go from there. Sound good?”
It’s only then, does Aether lift his head, looking up at Swiss who’s watching him with the fondest, softest look he’s ever seen, “Yeah, okay,” he says, and then he pushes himself up, fits his lips against Swiss’s and gives into the slide of their mouths together for a bit until Swiss is nudging him away, grinning wide.
“Food first, big guy,” Swiss says with a little laugh, pressing one last firm kiss to Aether’s mouth before pulling away properly. “Let’s get you right and we’ll head down to see the pack. Dinner time and all that. I’m sure the others will want to regale you all the tales from our time on the road.”
As much as Aether wants to pout, to demand they eat up here in the quiet of Swiss’s room, he knows himself well enough to know that’d be a terrible idea—so he smiles, nods at him and pulls himself out of Swiss’s embrace, as much as he craves the closeness, now that Swiss has mentioned pack, he feels a strong pull in his chest as he thinks of them, wanting to see them all together again after so long apart.
“Let’s go, baby,” Swiss is saying, in the time that Aether had pulled away, he’d already moved off the bed and was standing by it, holding his hand out.
In a moment of weakness, Aether takes his hand and lets Swiss pull him from the bed.
-
After dinner, they talk more, discuss Swiss’s idea and he falls asleep safely in Swiss’s arms, murmuring that they can start tomorrow—that he’ll take the day off and he’ll be Swiss’s for the foreseeable future, until he feels less like he’s going to crawl out of his own skin in agony.
-
The next morning, he wakes up in Swiss’s arms, rested but weary still, limbs heavy with sleep, but Swiss allows him to rest there for a little while longer before pulling him into a kiss—something firm yet soft, something that easily warms him up, makes him feel flush and hot with need.
He feels himself plump up a bit at the sensation, making a soft, pleased noise into the kiss, reaching his hand up to tangle in Swiss’s curly hair, fingers gentle against his scalp until Swiss lets the kiss come to an end, naturally.
“Go shower for me, gorgeous,” Swiss murmurs, pressing another kiss to his mouth. “And then come back in here, naked. We’ll get you restrained just like you want to be.”
There’s a simmer of heat in Aether’s belly, low and slow deep down as he allows himself to lay close to Swiss for only a few moments more before tearing himself away from him—he knows himself, knows that if he stays around, if he loiters in bed for too long then he’ll forgo their carefully crafted plan, their scene before it even happens.
Aether allows himself time to stand under the warm water—it's almost hot enough to burn his skin but it’s relaxing, bearing down on the tension in his shoulders, the weight of the world on him heavy and uncomfortably. He doesn’t quite know how long he stays there, standing under the water, but he doesn’t snap out of his heat induced trance until there’s a soft knock on the door, an even softer call of his name.
That snaps him out of it, makes him shuffle back out of the water so he can quickly clean himself up—unscented soap and the nice shampoos that Swiss keeps in his bathroom before he’s turning the water off and wrapping himself up in a big, fluffy and warm towel—enchanted to keep a low level of heat for warmth after a shower.
A cloud of steam follows him out of the bathroom, back into Swiss’s room where the other ghoul is waiting—there's a set of chains with padded wrist cuffs affixed to one of the sturdy beams in the ceiling—they hang down just enough that Aether knows when he’s restrained, it’ll be a stretch on his shoulders, he’ll be on his tiptoes.
He feels himself fatten up even more, each of his cocks unfurled and thickening as he takes it all in. It’s a simple scene, he’ll be restrained, and Swiss will wring several orgasms out of him until he’s happy with how much Aether has come, until Aether drops into that space where he’s warm and floaty.
Swiss easily crosses the room—now dressed in another soft t-shirt, but wearing a pair of jeans, barefoot; he’s got the button on the jeans undone, the zip barely up over where his own cock is half-hard. They share a kiss, something simple and sweet and full of love, while Swiss’s hands rub over Aether’s shoulders, fingertips catching on the soft towel with each pass.
“Ready?” Swiss murmurs against his mouth, feels Aether’s responding yes more than he hears it; the taste of the word, the shape of it shared in the kiss and he pulls away with a grin before guiding Aether back into place.
With gentle fingers, Swiss carefully unwraps the towel from around him, lets it drop to the floor, “There we go,” he says, now able to smooth his fingers along Aether’s shower warmed skin; he smiles and leans forward to press a kiss to his sternum, murmuring something as a warm gust of air leaves his mouth.
An enchantment, warmth encasing Aether, keeping him from catching a chill from the room—he appreciates it, always a little on the colder side, being quintessence, his nature and when Swiss laces their fingers together on one hand and guides his arm upwards, he lets him.
Confident that Swiss will take care of him now, he relaxes the second the padded cuff slips over his first wrist, already warmed by Swiss’s magic—he's guided up onto his toes as Swiss closes the second one over his other wrist and already, he can feel a sort of haziness in his brain.
“Good?” Swiss asks, checking how tight they are, making sure they’re not going to cut any sort of circulation off.
Aether nods, blinking slowly, “Perfect,” he says with a sigh, almost making the mistake of sinking down onto the flat of his feet but at the last second correcting himself and settling on the balls of his feet instead.
Swiss smiles, pleased and he steps around behind Aether briefly, allowing himself to take in the planes of his back, his arms above his head, the slight arch as he balances himself.
There’s a noise, the whir of a vibrating wand coming to life behind him and then Swiss steps in close to him, pressing it against the small of his back in a tease—Aether gasps with it and rocks forward a bit more, the sensation so strange all of a sudden.
That makes Swiss laugh and press harder, letting it run along the knobs of his spine—it's different than what he expected, it’s on one of the lower settings but Aether can’t help the way he tries to move away from it, wiggling around on his toes, he doesn’t laugh but it’s close enough, the choked sound leaving his throat, his lips has Swiss’s laughter grow louder, fonder.
“Hey, hey, where do you think you’re going, big guy?” Swiss asks, stepping in closer until Aether can feel him, the softness of his t-shirt a stark contrast against his own bare skin. “Not trying to run away from me already, are you?”
Aether makes another noise, something like a whine, thick and reedy in the back of his throat as he inhales deeply through his nose and leans back into Swiss, into the vibrations—they’re so low and barely there, but he can feel it rattling him to his very core, already so keyed up from the barest of touches.
(“I don’t want to talk much,” Aether had whispered into his shoulder the night before. “Feels like I can barely string together words now.”
Swiss had hummed softly, combing his fingers through Aether’s hair, “Understandable. No talking required unless you need to get out of the cuffs, baby.”)
“Good boy,” Swiss murmurs with a smile, pressing an open mouthed kiss against the base of Aether’s neck, “You know that I’ll take good care of you. S’why you come to me..” He draws the wand downwards, letting the vibrations settle into his lower back again, just above the curve of his ass, “You’re such a good leader, strong and steady to lean on, but sometimes you need to lean on someone, baby.”
Aether’s shivering, shaking, feeling like he’s going to come apart at the seams already, Swiss has barely even touched him, much less touched him where he’s craving it—his cocks curved up against his belly, leaking steadily at the tip.
It's been a while, since he’s been able to focus on himself, on his own pleasure, he just wants to—
“Do you want to come, sweet boy?” Swiss asks, nudging a knee between Aether’s spread legs, right up against where his balls hang heavily, the barest graze of denim over sensitive skin.
There’s no cruelness in his tone, gentle and careful as he reaches around with his empty hand, cupping over Aether’s belly, “If you need it, take it, this is about you, baby boy. You don’t need my permission.”
Aether makes a noise, a garbled mess of something not quite human as he bows back against Swiss, a gaspy sob leaving his lips as his cocks twitch and with barely any warning at all, he comes—it feels like a release, the way he sort of bows over with it, the padded cuffs pulling at his wrists, at his shoulders, overwhelming and good.
Swiss lets him catch his breath then, removes the wand from his lower back, the low and steady buzz stopping and leaving the room silent except for Aether’s own gasping and harsh breaths.
“Good boy,” Swiss murmurs, pressing himself along Aether’s back once more, clothes to skin, using both arms to cradle him gently, “You’re doing so well, that’s one down, huh? Do you think we can squeeze a couple more out of you? Two? Three? Could we get up to five before it’s too much?”
Aether shudders in Swiss’s arms, “Uh huh,” he manages to mumble out, tilting his head back against Swiss’s shoulder as he shifts on his feet, settling more comfortably as he turns his head, brushing a kiss across Swiss’s jaw. “Please.”
Swiss makes a soft, happy noise and carefully turns Aether’s head more so they can share a kiss—it's not their first of the day, and it won’t be the last, but it makes Aether’s head spin in the best of ways; all-encompassing, like he’s being devoured.
The buzzing starts again, but this time Aether is ready for it, the vibrations nudged right against his hip, letting him get used to it; it’s still so low compared to how high he knows the wand goes and he can’t figure out if he’s frustrated that Swiss is going so easy or if he’s thankful for it.
“I can feel that you’re not content with what I’m giving you,” Swiss murmurs, amusement tugging at their bond as he carefully slides the wand further across Aether’s stomach, “Can feel you getting impatient with me, baby boy.” he’s grinning against his cheek, “You know I’m going to take care of you, right?”
The answer is on the tip of his tongue, but in the next moment, the wand is right there against the head of one of his cocks and all he can do is rock into it and make a choked noise—the metallic sound of the chains echo loud in the room, a cacophony of noise that drowns out everything but the tortured groan that rips itself from Aether’s chest.
“Beautiful,” Swiss coos against his cheek, pressing a firm kiss there, “You’re doing so well, taking what I give you,” he continues as he slowly drags the wand further down his shaft, nestling it at the root of both his cocks.
It catches him by surprise this time—the vibrations shouldn’t be enough to make his toes curl, shouldn’t take his breath so suddenly as he rocks up into it and comes again, nearly hoarse and raw as both of his cocks leak steadily.
He’s been essentially untouched this whole time, pent up but soft around the edges—Swiss's hard body against his back, grounding him there, keeping him from swaying too much on his toes.
“Good, good,” Swiss murmurs, the wand is off again and put away as Swiss comes around to stand in front of him, pressing against his front so wholly uncaring of the mess that paints Aether’s belly and leaks down onto his thighs—it gets on Swiss’s clothes but the other ghoul doesn’t look like he cares too much as he cups Aether’s face in his hands and draws him into a proper kiss.
Tears leak from the corners of Aether’s eyes as he closes them tightly, leaning into the soft and sweet thing, letting Swiss coax his mouth open with gentle nips and presses of his tongue until Aether’s going fuzzy with it all, feeling as if Swiss is stealing the air right from his lungs.
When they part, Aether’s sure his face is flush, that his skin is a mess of mottled gray and constellation like silver across the apples of his cheek, across his chest—he feels Swiss’s lips press against his cheek, tongue flicking out to catch the sweat and tears there, “You’re so beautiful,” he murmurs with a rusty sort of purr, grinding forward against where Aether’s starting to harden again.
The sensation of cloth against his oversensitive cocks makes Aether whine, more tears leaking from the corners of his eyes as he tries to rock forward into the sensation, even though part of his brain wants him to move away from it.
Swiss draws him into another kiss, slower and deeper than the last, one hand cupping his cheek as the other works its way between their bodies to wrap around Aether’s cocks—the sudden touch of skin against skin has Aether crying out into Swiss’s mouth, nearly losing his balance.
The next orgasm comes a little slower than the last one—Swiss's touch is so firm, steady and careful, his large palm encompassing the entirety of one of his shafts while his knuckles brush over the second one, stimulating them both in a way that makes him want to fuck into Swiss’s hand.
He can’t, tied as he is, his body pressed against Swiss’s front so tightly—he has no leverage, he feels helpless as he pulls at the chains and feels the way the ache in his shoulders grows, part of him wishes he could touch, could pull Swiss’s cock out and feel it against his, get their hands around all three of them together.
“Let me,” Swiss murmurs, as if he can tell that Aether’s mind is starting to drift somewhere, somewhere far away from where he currently has him, tied up in his bedroom and at his mercy. He tightens his fist around Aether’s cock, the slickness of his come giving just enough friction for it to not hurt.
He feels it building deep inside his belly, warmth spreading from his groin—outwards until all his limbs feel fuzzy and limp as both of his cocks kick, one in Swiss’s fist and the other one just barely stimulated enough for anything.
Swiss’s shirt is a mess when he finally stops touching Aether and steps back, a mess of sweat and come but he doesn’t seem to mind it, just wipes his hand off on the bottom of it, grinning lasciviously at Aether before he goes to pick the wand up again.
“Three, yeah?” Swiss asks, innocently as he turns the wand on, the vibrations loud in the quietness of the room. He draws the vibrating head across Aether’s belly, teasing, and Aether hisses, clenches his fists and wobbles on his toes. “I think five is looking like a good number for us, baby,” he teases and then Aether shouts when the wand comes into contact with his still soft cocks once again.
It continues on like this for so long that Aether forgets the time, forgets how many times Swiss has made him come, forgets the mess he’s making on himself, on the floor, on Swiss’s clothes—the only thing he can focus on is the feeling of the vibrations in his cocks, in the soft praises that are bestowed upon him as he goes somewhere far off and floaty.
It’s so good that it almost doesn’t register when it suddenly tips over into not good—he's not sure how many times this makes, Swiss’s voice is low and syrupy against his ear, the vibrations against his cocks suddenly becoming too much and all he wants to do is get away from it.
He gasps out, the sound coming out more pained than pleasured, his lips working over and over and over as if they’re trying to form something, form a word and—and—and—
“Pomegranate.” He manages to get out, the word sounding foreign and choked in his own ears, like he’s underwater and only tipping further into the abyss, hurtling towards an end that’s so unpleasant now that his mind is focused on it, he can’t do anything else.
The vibrations stop immediately, there’s a thunk of something hitting the floor and then there’s hands, gentle and quick, undoing the cuffs around his wrists—he still feels like he’s underwater, moving sluggish, he wants to curl up and in on himself, his entire body feeling like a livewire, like one touch will surely end him.
He doesn’t know, from one moment to the next, how he makes it to a seated position, but he feels Swiss hovering around him, hands fluttering over his shoulders—he thinks the other is talking, but he’s too focused on controlling his breathing, his rapid, almost convulsive heaving breaths that draw all thought away from him when he tries to form one.
A warm and slightly heavy blanket settles over his shoulders as the bed behind him dips and he’s shifted back into Swiss’s chest, there’s layers of cloth between the two of them, but somehow that’s what he’s able to focus on, to feel himself come back slowly, the rushing in his ears dying down until he can hear Swiss behind him, he’s humming something, a song that Aether can’t quite place, hands resting firm on his shoulders as a rush of heat travels through the blanket.
The crash is always the hardest on Aether, even when he drops peacefully, his body temperature hurtling dangerously low, but Swiss is doing his best to keep him comfortable, warm—the tears come to Aether’s eyes again, unbidden as he hunches over on himself.
There’s a kiss pressed into his hair, barely there as Swiss waits it out, keeping the touch and the heat close, the blanket doing its job in grounding him properly until Aether feels less like he’s going to fall through the cracks of existence.
“Aeth?” Swiss murmurs after a long period of silence, after he feels the way Aether’s body seems to drop as if it were a puppet whose strings had been cut. “When you’re ready I’ve got some water and a few snacks for you, but we won’t move until you give the signal.”
When Aether finally lifts his head enough to turn it, to look back at him, his eyes are red rimmed and his face splotchy with silvery gray and Swiss is watching him with wide, worried eyes.
It takes him a moment, but he manages to get his limbs to move enough that he’s reaching out to Swiss, trying to turn around so he can bury himself into his embrace—not that he needs to fret about it much, because Swiss always knows what he needs, gets him turned around on the bed and wrapped tightly in the blanket, tightly in his arms.
He takes a bit there, nose pressed into the downy feathers against the side of Swiss’s throat, inhaling his scent, listening to the raspy, rusty purr that looses itself from Swiss’s chest—he does eventually lift his head, peering up at Swiss with a curious look, taking in the pinched look on his face.
“Think you’re ready for some water now?” Swiss asks, his voice low and gentle, almost hypnotizing in a way and Aether nods slowly, only jostled a bit as Swiss leans back to grab a cup with a straw in it—ever thoughtful and prepared.
He takes a few sips from it, the liquid cool on his tongue, parching his dry throat, he’s going to need something more than that soon, but for now, the water is enough for him, so he goes back in and takes a few more careful pulls from the straw until he’s drank his fill, pulling back with a little sigh before resting back in the crook of Swiss’s neck.
Swiss is quiet for a bit, but he starts carding his fingers through Aether’s hair, keeping his touch light and careful around his horns as he does so, it’s relaxing and Aether feels himself start to fall asleep from it—though he knows that he still needs to get cleaned up, they still need to talk about it, there’s so much to do still—
“Hey, baby, baby,” Swiss murmurs, pressing a kiss to his temple, “I’ve got you; do you want to lay down now? I’ve got some wipes, and we can clean up a little bit before we finish getting you to come down proper, alright?”
He nods, not trusting himself to speak, lets Swiss maneuver him around on the bed until he’s lying on his back—the weighted blanket had been removed from his shoulders and Swiss warms the wipes up before he carefully wipes away most of the come that had been slowly drying on his skin.
Overall, it takes a lot less time than a bath would have, but Aether feels exhausted as all is said and done, easily goes when Swiss, who’s stripped and is now as naked as he, wiggles into the bed beside him and draws him into his arms, pulling the blanket up over their bodies to fight off the chill of the room now that Swiss isn’t focusing on keeping everything warm.
“Do you think you can eat a little bit of this for me?” Swiss murmurs, shaking a small container; its chocolate covered almonds and Aether licks his lips, nods and lets Swiss feed him a small handful of almonds—the chocolate sweet and just enough to draw him further back into his own body.
Swiss is back to drawing little shapes across his back, fingertips gentle as he writes and draws his love across Aether’s skin, letting him come back to his own on his own time, not rushing him—and Aether feels floaty and sleepy in a completely different direction than before.
He’s happy and content in this, pressing his face into Swiss’s collarbone, and when he finally finds his words, he doesn’t pull away much, speaking directly into Swiss’s skin.
“It became too much all of a sudden,” Aether mumbles, sluggish and slow, “I don’t know what happened, but I was enjoying it and all of a sudden, I felt like I was going to come apart.”
Swiss’s other hand finds his hair again, nails gentle over his scalp as he listens, allows Aether to talk about it, the helplessness at being chained there and suddenly not wanting it anymore.
“Thank you for stopping when you did,” Aether mumbles, knowing he doesn’t have to thank Swiss for it, but feeling indebted to his kindness and the constant vigilance that Swiss shows when they scene together. “For making me comfortable enough to know that I can stop whenever it’s too much.”
A kiss pressed to his temple again, “Anytime baby,” Swiss murmurs, “Your comfort is the most important thing. The scene was about you. If you’re uncomfortable, then we stop.” He draws a heart over Aether’s shoulder blade. “You know I’ll always take care of you.”
Aether makes a soft noise in contentment, “I know,” he mumbles, the words starting to feel heavy on his tongue. “I had a great time, before things got to be too much. I didn’t realize how much I needed something like that until you’d gotten me to come twice with very little stimulation.”
“That’s what I’m here for,” Swiss says, carding his fingers through Aether’s hair, “Did you want to take a nap now? And once we wake up, we can settle in the bathtub for a bit? Unless you’d like to bathe now.”
He’s comfortable and warm, wrapped in the blanket and Swiss’s arms so he shakes his head, “Nap first,” he says, a yawn catching him as he speaks, “Bath and then maybe some food. In that order.”
Swiss hums, “Anything for you,” he murmurs, smiling softly when Aether lifts his head so they can kiss, slow and soft and light, a barely there brush of lips that has Aether purring happily before burying back into Swiss’s embrace.
He’s the backbone of the pack, the one everyone comes to when something goes wrong, even though these days Dew and Cumulus are more suited for the interworking issues of pack management—but when he’s in Swiss’s bed, all that melts away and he’s not longer the backbone no longer the one offering support.
He’s.
Safe.
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MY TAKE ON WHY SAND HASN'T BEEN VOCAL WITH HIS FEELINGS UP UNTIL THIS POINT:
So I've seen a few comments talking about Sand's lack of communication and how he should have outrightly confessed his feelings for Ray sooner, before he started dating Mew. Let me just start by saying, these are my own thoughts and probably not concrete facts and it's just a deep dive into what I think Sand's mindset has been like from the beginning. Also feel free to share your thoughts and let me know what you think. I also rarely write long takes like this so hopefully my words make sense
So I will say that, to me at least, Sand's feelings are a moot point in the dynamic they have going on. What do I mean by this? Well, Sand from the get go has called Ray a burden, Ray did not give him the best first impression and he was also aware of his alcoholism. And once they start getting to know and spend time with each other after episode 2, we sort of see Sand reiterating how they should not date. An example of this is the car scene, how he states that he would never take Ray as a boyfriend. How at the end he tried to set the boundary of maybe it would be best if they didn't sleep with each other again. I think just because he has these feelings for Ray, he knows it doesn't automatically mean that they should be together. Because in his mind, it's a disaster waiting to happen.
Around episode 4 & 5, through their dates, I think for a moment he forgets why 'they shouldn't happen' and let's his guard down a bit. Which inevitably goes back up when the fight with Boston happens and he again kind of reminds himself that "I'm not important" to keep him on track when it comes to his initial thoughts on the matter. And again, after the accident, I personally think that Sand maybe thought that it would help push Ray to get better but we see that all disintegrate by the end of the episode. And to me, when Sand was watching Ray and Mew he had this look of tired resignation. He didn't look surprised at all.
To add on to this already long rambling😅, I think it's crucial to notice that Sand has never once seeked out Ray on his own volition. Sand has only done this that one time when he was trying to get back at Top. But unless I'm wrong, I can't think of any other time he contacted Ray first. He avoids his messages, he tries to move on every chance he gets but Ray always seeks him out. And yes, I know he's never able to resist Ray and that's where his issue lies. But to me, this just confirms that yes, he has feelings for Ray but I don't think he was ever planning to act on them. His hesitation probably stems from his past relationship and the fact that Ray is not the best option, in his mind. I know as an addict and someone struggling with mental health he deserves love but when you look at it from the lens of a person dealing with that. From experience, it's not a fun position to be in and I can understand the hesitation.
I also want to point out the scene outside of the bar and how he tells Ray that he can be done with the secret crush, that it was a waste of time. Again, almost like he's reminding himself that "see this was never going to go anywhere". The only time we really see him give us a glimpse into how he feels about Ray is when he tries to stop him from drunk driving. When he sees the potential danger ahead and he uses this as a last ditch effort. Which was understandable because he was scared and desperate at that time.
So yeah, I'll just finish off by saying maybe Sand should have said something earlier but I don't think Sand ever wanted to express that in the first place because of the reasons I, hopefully explained above. And that's why we also see him make an active effort to move on at the party before Ray interrupts. I'm not sure what will push Sand to confess his feelings in the next episode, I'm curious to see that. But this is just a summary of why I think he didn't tell him his feelings up to this point.
Again let me know what you think😅 this was hardly coherent but I kept adding stuff afterwards
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Half-Life | Chapter Four
You realized then how delicate this all still was.
Pairing: Plaga!Leon S. Kennedy/F!Chubby!Paranormal Investigator!Reader
Tags: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Angst, Sexual Tension, Masturbation, Blood, Body Horror, Animal Injury & Death
Notes: Heeeeey, guys. It's been a minute since I last posted, but here is chapter 4 (finally)! My summer has been more busy and stressful than I ever could have imagined, so I'm happy to finally be able to finish this chapter, which is the longest chapter of anything I've ever written at just over 14k words!!! I keep breaking my own personal record every time I write, it feels like lol. I also think this is some of the best writing I've ever done and I'm extremely proud of it! Not sure when chapter 5 will come out, as school is starting back up for me soon and a couple people I know irl are getting married this fall, so I'll be traveling a lot as well. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it! Let me know your thoughts! (And here's a little behind-the-scenes tidbit: the painting I describe at the beginning of this chapter is actually in RE4R in the grand hall!)
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You awoke before Leon, for once.
You couldn’t stop yourself from sitting up on your air mattress and looking at his curled-up form, finally allowed to take in his appearance fully without having to sneak a glance or risk embarrassing yourself and him by getting caught staring.
You had yet to see him so at peace until this moment. He was laid atop his blankets, nearly in the fetal position, one long arm tucked under his pillow while the other was slung across his exposed midriff. His appendages were retracted again and his tail was hanging off the side of the bed, twitching slightly in his slumber. His breaths were deep and even, and his messy blond hair covered his closed eyes.
Never in your life did you think a literal monster could be so damn cute—so damn attractive in ways most humans hadn’t been to you before. Even the ones you dated. You wondered what that said about you.
As you gazed at Leon, you were reminded of the day before, a lovely warmth settling over you like that of the sun spilling in from the window above.
You could feel yourself blush as you recalled him carrying you across the bridge; how he had plucked a flower just to stick it into your hair; the fact he was willing to dance with you in the dilapidated ballroom simply because you asked; the way he played into your little game as you sat upon the throne, faces so near, you could brush your nose against his if you had just moved a little bit closer.
But then he had pulled away, leaving you breathless… and confused.
You weren’t sure why he would humor you with the flirting and the lingering glances and the gentle touches just to distance himself again—why he was holding himself back.
It was maddening, and you struggled to muster the courage to ask him about it or take matters into your own hands. Because, if you were honest with yourself, you were terrified of what it would mean if you did.
Worst case scenario, he would reject you and send you away. It would sting, but you had grown accustomed to the feeling; almost expected it by now. Besides, you were going to leave anyway, weren’t you?
Best case scenario, though? He would reciprocate and then… what? What could come of this? Would you still go home and let this remain as some passionate, short-lived fling? Would you work out how to stay and leave your entire life—friends and family—behind? Or would you come and visit him when you could manage it, living some kind of half-life split between your world and his?
Every outcome you could think of seemed to hurt, and you thought maybe it would be better to keep things as they were; tense but platonic.
However, being with him was so easy. Natural as breathing (when he wasn’t stealing your breath away, that is). Sure, there had been hiccups and misunderstandings. The both of you were stubborn and set in your ways, but you put your differences to rest so quickly.
But god, were you different. The type of different that you thought before meeting him would never work. As a human, he was handsome. Devastatingly so. Could have been a model, had he chosen another career.
And, most notably, he could have had anyone he wanted.
You had come to love your body with all its curves and marks, but you doubted he would even look your way if you had crossed paths in another life.
You knew it wasn’t fair to yourself or to him to compare who he was to who he is now, considering how much he had gone through over the years and his transformation. However, you couldn’t help but think the attention you were getting from him came from loneliness and nothing more.
If anyone else had been just as stupid and nosy as you, he probably would have acted this way towards them in your stead.
Could you so easily be replaced?
Your chest clenched painfully at the thought and you forced yourself to look away from him, eyes bouncing around the room until they landed on the painting hung on the nearby wall.
It was a beautiful depiction of the castle—how it must have looked when it was occupied by people instead of dust and crumbling stone. The colors were vibrant, and a couple in the foreground were walking away from it, arm in arm. You admired it for a long while, feeling a sense of serenity overtake your anxious mind for a moment.
And then memories of the day prior flooded it instead, how you and Leon had spent the rest of the evening making crude wooden frames for the paintings you had “borrowed” from the castle, carefully finding the best places to hang the new pieces on his once empty walls.
Leon acted like he didn’t care, letting you decide for him, but you caught him glancing at the artwork from time to time, a gentle smile on his face at the way they brightened up his home.
You knew once you left he would be lonely again. You hoped if you could make these changes for him it might be enough to keep him content, even for just a little while. And, selfishly, you felt that if you couldn’t have him, you could at least inject remnants of yourself into his life. Maybe then he’d think of you the way you knew you’d think of him until your last breath.
Everything about it was unfair.
You heard a rustle and a quiet call of your name, your gaze meeting the half-lidded one of Leon as he sat up to look at you. He let out a yawn, his impossibly wide mouth gaping open in a way you once thought to be terrifying, those razor teeth glinting in the low light of the morning sun. Now, as he blinked the sleep from his red eyes, you found it more endearing, like the maw of a cat. Precious in all its sharp edges.
“Good morning,” you told him softly, a smile playing on your lips as if you hadn’t nearly worried your teeth through them moments ago.
“Mornin’. You been up long?” he asked as he swept his hair from his face. You wished you could do it for him, but you pushed that thought deep down instead.
“Not long. Was just looking at the painting,” you replied, half-lying as you pointed at the artwork in question.
His gaze trailed up to it, a small grin alighting his bizarrely beautiful features. “It really was a great idea, bringing them back here. Makes the place a lot less depressing.”
“I have those, occasionally,” you joked, pulling yourself to your feet. “I’m gonna start breakfast if you’re interested in something other than fish.”
With a tilt of his head, he asked, “What’re you makin’?”
You smirked as you walked up to him. “You can find out for yourself if you get dressed and meet me downstairs.”
He rolled his eyes playfully, catching you off guard by leaning in close, so tall that even sitting down he was the same height as you were standing. “So demanding, bunny.”
You scoffed. “Forgive me. Please get dressed and meet me downstairs. Better?”
“Baby steps.”
Splaying your hand against his chest, you teasingly shoved him, “Whatever. I’ll just cook without you.”
He grabbed your wrist, clawed fingers cool against your skin, causing a shiver to run through you. “C’mon, you’re breaking my heart here.”
It was your turn to roll your eyes, pulling slightly against his hold. “Then be good and do as you’re told.”
He sighed dramatically, releasing you from his grip. “Yes, ma’am.”
You grinned triumphantly, gently tapping your finger against the tip of his nose. It caused him to scrunch up his face in a way that made you laugh, and then you turned on your heels and strolled to the door.
You glanced back at him as he stood and stretched. “Bacon and eggs, by the way.”
“Now that’s something I can’t pass up.”
“Figured.” And with that, you were on your way.
You kickstarted your morning by brushing your teeth and washing your face in the sink, then quickly got dressed so you could begin working on breakfast.
Leon was swift to join you, staying out of your way as he would be little help with his claws but keeping you company regardless. You made sure to leave his eggs runny and his bacon undercooked to abide by his more primal eating habits.
Soon enough, the two of you were at the table, sitting across from each other as was becoming the norm. It all felt so… domestic.
“Got any plans I need to know about?” he inquired after emptying his plate.
You swallowed the bite you had been chewing, glancing out of the nearby window. “It’s a nice day out. Pretty warm for autumn. Would that lake trip I mentioned yesterday be out of the question?”
“Don’t see why we can’t. And there’s lots to see. I think you’re going to have a good time.”
“With you? Always.”
You could have sworn a faint pink rose to his face, but he was quick to stand and place his used dishes in the sink, so you couldn’t be certain.
After a quick prep for the trip, you headed down to the lake, Leon helping you get onto the boat, which rocked violently as you stepped onto it, to your dismay. He chuckled as you grappled his shoulders to steady yourself, slowly lowering onto the bench beneath you.
“Not too keen on a swim, huh?” he teased you.
“Not fully clothed, at least,” you muttered in reply.
He simply smirked at that but didn’t respond.
Leon smoothly directed the loud motorboat to the first location you had agreed upon back at the house, which was a small cave that held a wooden shack inside. It was such a strange little place, but you liked to hear the echo of your voices bounce off the cave walls, as well as the sound of the boat gently slapping against the dock.
The headless statue with the dark stains on it—that looked an awful lot like old blood—made you uneasy, but you could see yourself camping out at a place like this.
After that, Leon said he was taking you to what he called “chicken island”, which made you laugh.
“Can’t imagine why they’d call it that,” you mused.
“It had chickens there if you can believe it,” was his deadpan response.
And he didn’t lie. Although the birds were no longer present, many rusted cages full of straw nests were stacked across the small area and worn feathers littered the ground. There wasn’t much to it, as he had warned, but you felt the need to at least say you had been to such a silly place.
He then took you into another cave, pulling up to a large dock with only your flashlight as a guide. You climbed up the ladder to the deck above—a place that you had passed through to get to the lake in the first place—to sit on a crate and eat your lunch.
Time was passing rather quickly while out on the water, and you worried if you spent too much time dawdling, you’d have to come back the next day and waste precious hours you could be doing other things.
The end of your visit here was coming up sooner than you’d like, after all.
You were halfway through your sandwich, giving the room a more intense sweep, when your eyes fell upon the elevator in the corner. You had pointed it out before, but Leon wasn’t keen on using it, as the generator keeping the thing in service had long since lost fuel.
Apparently, there had been a shooting range with moving targets on the floor below, to your bewilderment. There was also one inside the castle and another in the mines beneath it, though Leon told you it was too dangerous to trek the old shafts.
You glanced at the counter next to the elevator and a thought came to your mind. “Hey, Leon, you said there were moving targets in the shooting range, right?”
He looked at you quizzically but nodded, mouth full of sliced ham.
You giggled at the sight, but continued your questioning, “So if they were moving, was someone controlling them?”
He swallowed thickly before answering, “Yeah... This guy I just referred to as ‘The Merchant’. He popped up all over the village while I was trying to save Ashley. Helped me a lot by selling me supplies. He was in charge of the shooting ranges around here.”
“How did he know where you’d end up in time to set up shop? And how did he avoid getting infected with the parasite?”
Leon clicked his tongue. “Your guess is good as mine. He was… weird… but he did me a solid, so I figured it would be best not to ask questions. Even sold me some things to live on after I turned. He never came back after that.”
“Do you wish he did?” you asked, unable to stop yourself from prying. It was a bad habit, you knew, but you couldn’t help it.
You wanted to get to know Leon in every capacity, even though leaving would only hurt worse if you did. You must've been a masochist, then.
He sighed wearily, crossing his arms. “If I’m being honest… every day I wished someone would come back. Didn’t matter who. Used to lay awake at night and think about Claire or Ashely or Ad—” he paused at that, and you were going to ask what name he was about to say when he continued, “Anyway, I used to imagine them coming to find me. Just to say hi, I guess. To see how I was doing. But they never did. Not that they should. I told Ashley not to come back for her safety, and to not tell anyone I was alive. Don’t know why I hoped she’d break her promise.”
“Well,” you started, reaching over and wrapping your fingers around his hand, “at least I’m here.”
“Yeah, and I’m glad for it, even if it's just for a week.” He was staring down at your knuckles and you wanted nothing more than to coil your arms around him, but you refrained.
You considered him for a long moment instead, all your overthinking from earlier being tossed out of your mind as you promptly made a decision, saying, “I could always come back. Make this a yearly trip or something.”
His gaze jumped up to your own, then, shock evident in his pale features. “And why would you do that?”
You let out a huff of laughter. Was he really that clueless? Well, you weren’t about to give him the full truth—that you were utterly infatuated with him—instead replying, “Because I’m your friend, aren’t I?”
“Friend,” he repeated, voice low. Was there a hint of disappointment in his tone, or did you imagine it? “Yeah, I guess at this point, you really are. But I don’t know if it would be a good idea for you to come back.”
“Why?” You felt hurt by that, but you tried to hide it behind a nonchalant attitude, attempting to sound more curious than bitter.
“We’re wasting daylight,” he said instead of answering you, standing up from his crate. “We should keep moving.”
You stood up, too, confusion and frustration circling in your head like vultures. “Fine, but this conversation isn’t over, Leon.”
“Hm,” was all he replied, already making his way to the boat before you even finished zipping up your backpack.
The short trip to the other side of the cave was one full of awkward silence. You didn’t want to show that you were annoyed, but it was difficult to mask it while he was giving you the cold shoulder.
You realized then how delicate this all still was. A few days together was not enough time for him to fully open up to you. You were upset, but he had a stormy history—one he wasn’t keen on sharing.
Whether it was to protect himself from the vulnerability or spare you from the weight of his past, you didn’t know. But you wanted nothing more than to assure him that he meant something to you. That he could trust you.
You kept your mouth shut.
Despite the change in attitude, Leon was still quick to help you out of the boat. It was something you appreciated, given your apparent lack of sea legs.
Your concerned thoughts were replaced with a renewed sense of awe, though, as you shone your flashlight over the cave walls and rushed forward. Leon simply followed behind you while you explored the place, as he made a habit of doing since your arrival.
You found another headless statue stained in dark brown, to your disgust, but not much else resided in the labyrinthine tunnels.
You went back to the boat, and as you were about to leave the area altogether, you pointed out another small dock nearby. “What’s over there? Can we go?”
He seemed hesitant, shoulders tensing, but he eventually nodded, pulling up alongside it.
Once on solid ground, you were swift in finding a painting on the cave wall, which was a large and very old map of the lake with what looked like a whale in the center.
“What is that?” You asked Leon, the uneasy silence from just before fading as your curiosity took root in its stead.
He grimaced as if remembering something terrible. “Del Lago. Giant fish monster in the lake. I killed it, though, so don’t worry.”
“Ah, a Spanish Nessie, then,” you teased despite your horror at such a concept. “Must have been old, if this painting is anything to go by.”
“Its body sank to the bottom of the lake pretty much as soon as I downed the thing,” he said, looking up at the depiction of the creature. “It’s almost a shame, what happened to it.”
“Why, cos you killed an ancient majestic beast?”
He turned to you with a smile. “No, cos I wasted all that meat.”
You laughed and he chuckled in response, the awkward tension from earlier finally giving way to the easygoing banter you enjoyed so much.
“C’mon, there’s more to explore,” you urged, grabbing his wrist and pulling him along.
Near the mural was a shrine with two large hands sticking up from the cave floor, a head sitting in either stone palm.
Well, that explains the headless statues, you mused.
You moved on quickly after that, the cave giving way to a forested path. You made a face as you skirted past a sacrificial altar, gripping Leon a little tighter.
After having to crawl underneath a tiny gap in a stone formation, you made it to a fork in the path, a small building to your right, and a winding trail to your left.
“What’s over there?” you asked Leon as you pointed to the trail, leaning down to wipe the dirt from your clothes.
He seemed to freeze before responding a little too quickly, “Not much. And that cabin just leads to another dock. We should head back to the boat.”
“Oh, c’mon, we’re already here! Might as well take a peek!” you chirped, marching onto the trail.
Leon didn’t argue, but he was tense as he followed you up to the end of the path.
You were more than a little confused by what you found there.
“Graves?” you questioned aloud as you looked upon the two crosses made crudely of sticks, names carved into the wood. They weren’t next to each other like you’d expect, but spread apart and angled toward the center of the dead-end path. “How strange. The only other ones I’ve seen were in the church cemetery.”
“Yeah, strange,” Leon muttered behind you, sounding almost… nervous? You wondered why.
You leaned down to the cross on the left, barely able to make out the name “Luis Serra Novarro” on the wood. An old lighter was on the ground beside it. You wondered if it even worked anymore with how long it looked to be sitting there.
You then crouched before the other cross, “Major Jack Krauser” etched messily upon the surface.
“Well, his name isn’t very local-sounding,” you joked of the latter.
Leon didn’t reply, but you were too distracted by what was dug into the ground in front of the cross to comment on it. It was a large knife with an engraving of a snake on its rusted blade.
“Wow, that’s cool,” you mused, reaching out to pull it from the dirt. It felt like a waste to leave such a well-crafted weapon just sitting there.
“Stop!” Leon barked, lunging forward and yanking your hand from where it brushed against the scales.
Shocked, you pulled away and stood up, taking a step back at the snarl on his face. “Whoa, what’s wrong? The thing booby-trapped or something?”
He sighed, his expression turning weary instead of angry. “No, just… would like to respect the dead.”
You tilted your head in confusion. “Respect the dead? You piled up human corpses at the entrance to the village. Not sure how that’s exactly—” You stopped mid-sentence, realization hitting you as you took in the miserable look on Leon’s face. “You… you knew these guys, didn’t you?”
He grimaced at your words but slowly nodded in response.
“Who were they?”
Leon crossed his arms over his chest tightly, as if to hug himself, before jerking his head to the grave on the left. “Luis helped me and Ashley. He actually saved me from him, too,” he said, looking at the grave to the right. “He was killed by that very knife.”
“Why bury this guy next to your friend if he murdered him?” You were flabbergasted by this whole thing, desperate to make sense of Leon’s strange actions.
He winced at that. “He was my mentor. Trained me to be an agent in the first place. Without him, I don’t think I could have survived.”
“What caused him to change?”
Leon decided to plop onto the ground, his tail whipping in agitation along the dirt. You joined him, sitting cross-legged beside his slouched figure, waiting for him to say something.
“He was betrayed by the very country he fought to protect. His whole unit was wiped out and he was badly injured, unable to fight like he used to. He ended up going MIA and joined the cult. They infected him with the Plagas, too. I had to fight him. I had to—” he stopped to take a steadying breath, “I had to kill him. With that same blade. His blade.”
“I’m so sorry, Leon,” was all you could offer him, placing your hand over his and squeezing gently. He closed his claws into a fist and squeezed back.
“I buried Luis first,” he began. “Had to go into the mines to retrieve his body, ferry it out here. Then I went to the island on the other side of the castle to find Krauser. The whole place had collapsed in on itself, but I had hoped I could get to him. Dug in the rubble for days, but… couldn’t find a body. The knife is all I had left of him, so now it’s here.”
“I see,” you said quietly, staring down at the muddled reflection of Leon’s dirt-covered leg in the rusted blade. “Why’d you place their graves so far out of the way?”
“It’s secluded. Quiet. Peaceful,” he replied, head tilting towards the sky and closing his eyes. “Figured I would bury Wolfie here, too, when he eventually dies. Just thought it would be a good place to…”
You saw him swallow back his words.
“A good place to what?”
He sighed and shook his head before looking at you, those red eyes so hauntingly melancholy, it made your heart ache. “A good place to rest.”
The two of you sat quietly in the dirt, simply holding hands and watching the breeze ripple through the foliage surrounding you.
He’s right, you thought, comforted by the shade of trees, yet still able to make out the blue of the sky above, it is a good place to rest.
You knew Leon grieved the life he once lived, so evident in the way he carried himself—the way he spoke. But this kind of loss was news to you. You never realized just how much weight he carried.
You were determined to lighten the burden in any way you could.
“Come on,” you told him, finally standing. “We have one last stop, don’t we?”
He didn’t need your help to get to his feet, but he still took your outstretched hand, giving you a small, grateful smile when he towered over you once more. “Yeah. We do.”
Before you knew it, you were back on the motorboat, heading straight to the center of the lake for your last location.
You had seen the old, half-sunk fishing vessel from the shore, but wanted to explore it last for the hell of it. You were glad you made that decision, hoping that spending more time on the calm waters might lift Leon’s spirits.
He came to a stop at the port of the large wooden boat, gracefully exiting onto the dilapidated vessel before reaching his hand out and pulling you onto the algae-slick deck with him.
“Careful,” he warned, releasing his hold on you. “The boards are pretty damaged. Wouldn’t want you to fall through.”
“Yes, sir,” you teased, but you took your time walking around, just in case. You heard him chuckle as you shuffled slowly forward, giving him a lighthearted glare in response.
There really wasn’t much to see of the place, only able to access the front of it.
You leaned against the railing of the bow after a brief sweep of the area, looking out onto the blue, blue water. It was beautiful, and you could see why Leon would spend hours fishing out here beyond catching a meal or two.
You glanced over your shoulder at him, finding him leaning against the front of the cockpit, his eyes already on you. You wished you knew what he was thinking when he looked at you like that. You hid your blush by turning back around.
You placed your hands on the railing, a light giggle escaping you as a thought crossed your mind.
“What’s so funny?” he questioned, and you knew he was smiling without needing to face him.
You tapped your fingers on the wood. “You ever see the movie Titanic?”
He scoffed but didn’t answer, instead stepping closer. Before you knew what was happening, he had gently tugged your arms up, holding them in the air as he leaned down to place his chin on your shoulder. Your breath was caught in your throat by the proximity, his own tickling your cheek.
“Was this what you had in mind, bunny?” he asked you, voice low and teasing in a way that made your stomach flip. You kept your arms up as he slid his hands down to rest on your waist and you wondered if you would pass out from your inability to pull oxygen into your lungs.
You needed to get yourself together, so you forced out a nervous laugh before saying, “If only we had Celine Dion playing in the background. I think we’d be dead ringers for the remake.”
Leon laughed heartily. “I can’t imagine they’d do a remake of such a nineties classic.”
You giggled, turning slightly to meet his eye. “They remake everything these days.”
“Well, I don’t think I have what it takes to play Jack, but you’re pretty enough to go on the big screen.”
Oh.
That compliment made heat flood your whole body, though you didn’t want him to notice it. “What are you talking about? You’re practically Leo DiCaprio two-point-oh.”
“Mm, maybe ten years ago,” he mused, pulling away from you, to your chagrin. “C’mon, we should head back to the house.”
You pouted as you turned to face him. “But I don’t want to yet!”
“Well, there’s not much left to do out here,” he replied, as if coaxing you to follow his lead.
But that wasn’t exactly your style, now was it?
Instead, you let your hair down from its messy bun, kicked off your shoes and socks, and yanked your shirt over your head.
Leon’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates as you stripped in front of him, pulling your jeans off and leaving yourself only in your underwear. You could tell he was trying not to stare, focusing solely on your face as he choked out, “What the hell are you doing?!”
Still, you saw his gaze drop to your bare skin. You felt utterly exposed, but you weren’t ashamed.
In fact, you felt good.
You felt free.
You sat on the railing of the boat, smiling wickedly at him as you flipped your legs over the edge. “I told you if I was going to have a swim, it wouldn’t be fully clothed, didn’t I?”
Before he could say anything else, you plunged into the water.
It was so cold, you locked up for a moment, your body shocked by the sudden change in temperature. You stayed under for a few seconds, willing yourself to adjust before breaching the surface.
You wiped the water from your eyes, blinking up at Leon as he hung off the bow of the boat. It looked like he was about to dive in after you, as if he was worried you wouldn’t come back up.
His concern for you warmed you right up.
“Are you serious?” he interrogated, breathing out a sigh of disbelief. “You said it was too cold to bathe out here, but you’ll take an afternoon swim?”
“Definitely too cold for a bath,” you replied, nodding sagely. “But you should still come join me!”
“Absolutely not. You’re crazy, you know that?”
You smiled, all teeth. “What was your first clue, sweetheart?”
He scoffed. “You showing up here in the first place, probably.”
“So…” you began, “you should learn to expect the unexpected. And jump in. I know the cold doesn’t bother you, Leon.”
He sighed, staring over at the shore for a moment before turning to face you once more. “Fine.”
You whooped in victory as he stepped back from the railing, and then bit your lip as you watched him pull off his shirt, revealing his lean, taut upper body. His legs were obscured by the boat as he tore his pants from them, but you got a good look when he leapt onto the ledge of the bow. You had to crane your neck to take in all of him, grazing your eyes up his muscled form, covered only by boxer briefs.
Before you could stare for too long, he dove into the water behind you, and you covered your eyes as it splashed up in a small wave.
He quickly rose to the surface, flipping his blond hair from his face.
“See? Not so bad,” you told him, paddling closer to where he was treading.
“Guess not.”
You were about to speak again when you felt something large slither along your leg. You yelped, pulling your body away from the sensation. “Oh my god, something just touched me!”
Leon shrugged. “Probably just a fish.”
“No, no, it was definitely a snake!” you told him, eyes staring down as if you could see into the dark water.
“It’s possible. There’re vipers in the area, I told you that before.” He seemed to be taking joy in your distress and you glared at him angrily for it.
“Leon, if that’s true, I need out RIGHT now.”
You began to swim towards the motorboat, suddenly very over this whole situation, when something touched your leg again. You screamed as it wrapped around your ankle, pulling you under the water.
You weren’t under for very long, whatever it was almost immediately releasing you. You sputtered as you pushed your head above the surface, panicking.
But then you heard Leon laughing hysterically nearby, and the realization that he was just screwing with you hit you like a brick.
“Oh, you asshole!” you yelled, wading back over to him and shoving his chest in rage.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I just had to,” he told you between laughs.
“Yeah, you will be.” With that, you splashed his face with water, feeling smug that you got him before he could use his arm as a shield.
You splashed him a few more times until he lunged toward you, grabbing your arms, “Okay, we’re even now. Happy?”
He released you and you pretended to think about it for a moment, easing closer. Your faces were mere inches apart, and you wanted nothing more than to lean forward and kiss him. You weren’t sure how the action would even work, considering his protruding fangs, but that didn’t stop you from wanting to find out.
He seemed to edge nearer, and you wondered if he had the same idea.
But your nerves got the better of you.
Instead, you jumped up and shoved his shoulders down, dunking him completely under the water.
It was your turn to laugh as he came back up, his wet hair covering his eyes. “Now I’d say we’re even.”
He pushed the strands from his face and shook his head, chuckling. “Yeah, I deserved that.”
Before you could say something else, the sky seemed to darken suddenly. You still had a couple hours of daylight left, so you glanced up, confused. You saw that clouds had converged over the sun, looking awfully heavy.
Something splattered against your forehead, and you wiped it off, realizing it was a raindrop. Several more began to fall on and around you, and you knew it was time to head back to shore.
You and Leon quickly got dressed as the sprinkle of rain turned into a steady shower, dampening your once-dry clothes. Still, you made the time to glance at Leon’s cute butt as he leaned down to pull up his pants, and when you turned to put on your own, you could feel his eyes on you too.
Thankfully, Leon decided to head back to the cave, the rain only coming down harder as you finally entered it. Leon moored the boat, and the two of you hurried through to the quarry.
A flash of light streaked across the sky as you reached the church, the echoing BOOM that followed it making you jump out of your skin. You must’ve looked like a wet chihuahua with how you shook, both from the sound and the cold rain seeping down to the bone.
Leon turned to face you, his expression concerned. He got close, placing his palms against your arms. “You’re freezing. C’mon, let’s get you home.”
Despite your misery, you couldn’t help but feel warmed by his words.
Let’s get you home.
He said it like it was yours, too.
He grabbed your hand, tugging you along as you rushed back to his place, knowing it was still quite a trek.
You finally made it to the house, and you doubled over as soon as you crossed the threshold, panting heavily from practically jogging the whole way. You were shivering violently, your teeth chattering as you finally caught your breath, when you felt Leon lay his hand across your back.
“Hey, you should get changed. I’ll start a fire,” he urged, eyes soft as he looked at you.
You nodded, doing as he said, wringing your drenched clothes over the tub before hanging them on the sides of it.
Feeling slightly better, you went back into the main room, seeing that Leon had pushed the dining table over and moved the couch in front of the fireplace, where a stack of logs was piled in the hearth.
He was struggling with the matches again, so you gently took them from his hands, alighting the kindling yourself. He simply nodded at you before you sat down on the couch and reached your hands towards the slowly growing flames.
“You’re soaked,” you told him. “Go change. I’ll make dinner when we warm up.”
He smiled down at you as he stood, stroking the top of your head. You never wanted him to stop. “Be right back, then.”
You were finally losing the chill as he returned, sitting down beside you, his tail draped between you on the seat.
Another loud crash of lightning made you cry out, flinching.
“Whoa, there,” he said softly. “You okay?”
You grimaced. “Yeah, I’m not… the biggest fan of storms. I like the rain when I’m cozied up inside, but thunder and lightning… I don’t know. It freaks me out.”
“So you’re afraid of heights, snakes, and storms. Anything else I should know about?” he asked lightheartedly.
You rolled your eyes. “I’m not afraid of heights, just falling off a shoddy bridge, thank you very much. And snakes only scare me when they’re venomous and I think they’re slithering around my leg.”
His tail flicked up as you stared pointedly at it, the movement incredibly cute to you. He could really be just like a cat sometimes.
“I stand corrected. Just storms, then,” he teased.
The conversation flowed to other things, but looking around, you realized with sudden concern that Leon’s dog wasn’t nearby. “Hey, where’s Wolfie? Was he upstairs?”
Leon’s brows furrowed at that, standing and glancing around the room. “No… he wasn’t. He usually doesn’t stay out when it storms.”
“Is he okay?” you questioned.
Leon crossed his arms. “I’m sure he’s fine. Maybe staying somewhere out of the rain.”
You nodded, though you worried for the poor dog’s safety.
As you promised, you made dinner—a roast, actually—and you had never seen Leon so excited by something you had cooked thus far (though he wouldn’t touch the potatoes, onions, and carrots that simmered alongside it).
As you worked on washing dishes, you saw Leon staring out of one of the windows, and you knew he was looking for Wolfie. You finished the chore, walking into the main room to stand beside him.
“He’s never been gone this long,” Leon stated with a frown.
You worried your bottom lip. “Maybe… Maybe we should go find him.”
Leon glanced at you, then, brow raised. “I’ll go find him. You should stay here.”
“No way,” you argued, already pulling on your hiking boots. “I’m not letting you go out there alone.”
“You could catch a cold, and that bear is still around. Besides, you hate the thunder and lightning, and it's only getting worse.”
“Well, I’m worried about him too. I want to help.”
He sighed as you stood upright, seeing the determination in your eyes. “Fine, but dress warm.”
You nodded vigorously. “I have a raincoat and a jacket, don’t worry.”
You quickly ran to your luggage, throwing on your hoodie, sliding the raincoat over it, and grabbing your flashlight from your backpack.
You met Leon at the door, the two of you heading out into the dark.
You kept your arm braced above your brows to block the rain from your eyes, the hoods of your jacket and coat pulled over your head still not enough to prevent the onslaught, raking your flashlight over the ground as you and Leon called Wolfie’s name.
You didn’t know how long you were in the storm, and although the clothes on your top half helped to keep you dry and warm, your legs were getting soaked through. You pushed past the discomfort, your concern for Leon’s animal companion taking precedence.
The look of worry on his face was compelling enough to keep moving forward on its own.
You were near the church again, calling out the dog’s name as loud as you could, getting desperate to find him safe, when you heard Leon gasp beside you.
“What?” you questioned.
“This way,” was all he responded, bounding through the woods at a speed you could barely keep up with.
Leon was taking you deep into the forest, and you could focus on little else but his darting form as you followed him, afraid to be left behind in the dark.
You thought you were gaining on him when you tripped over a root, cutting your knee as you fell to the ground, hard. You were quick to pick yourself back up, sprinting after him and gritting your teeth against the pain.
You lost him, though, the realization filling you with panic. You just continued running in the direction you saw him taking off, calling after him frantically.
The thunder rumbled deafeningly from above, making you cower in fright, but you knew you had to keep going. The darkness seemed to encroach upon you, the torrent of rain pelting against your whole body hard enough to hurt.
You don’t think you had ever felt this afraid.
To your relief, you finally caught up to Leon, but it was short-lived when you took in what was ahead of you.
Leon was crouched over, and you could hear him muttering in distress. Before him was Wolfie, laying motionless on his side, four streaks of dark red seeping out of his white fur.
You rushed forward, dropping onto your injured knee, not caring how badly it stung as you assessed the animal in front of you. He was still breathing, thankfully, and letting out quiet little whimpers. The wounds looked deep as you appraised them, wondering what could have done this to him.
As if reading your mind, Leon growled, “It was that damn bear.”
You didn’t respond as he stripped his shirt off, easily ripping it into strips. They were soaked through with rain, but it was better than nothing.
“Here buddy,” Leon reassured Wolfie as he grabbed his own tail.
“What are you doing?”
Ignoring you, he gently pricked the barbed end into the dog’s side, who yelped and writhed at the feeling before near-instantly relaxing.
“Kills the pain,” is all he offered as you looked at him in shock. He then shoved the strips of cloth into your hands. “I’m gonna lift him up and I want you to wrap these around him, okay?”
He’d only ever been this serious when protecting you from that bear two days prior, and you swallowed before nodding in response.
You began to carefully slide the first strip over one of the gashes, about to tie it off, when Leon interjected, “Tight, but not too tight.”
“Got it,” you said, fingers shaking as you followed his direction for each wound. You weren’t sure if it was the cold or the nerves but you managed it well enough.
When you were done, Leon stood. Wolfie was held in his arms, the dog’s blood smearing against his bare chest. It made your stomach twist with unease.
“I have bandages in my first-aid kit,” you told him as he began the trek back to the path, trying to keep up with his long, hurried gait.
“He’s lost a lot of blood,” Leon said. “We can change the bandages, but I don’t know if he’s… I don’t know if he’ll make it.”
You couldn’t reply, tears pricking your eyes at the thought.
Leon’s voice wavered as he continued, “I know he’s old. I knew I’d lose him eventually. But not like this. Not this soon…”
You pushed back your tears, sadness giving way to conviction. “After we replace the bandages, I’m gonna take him to the vet, okay? You’ll have to carry him to my car, but I think if we’re fast, we can do this.”
“What if he dies on the way there?” Leon asked miserably, “I don’t want to be away from him in his last moments.”
“I know it’s a risk, but we have a real chance of saving him, Leon. You told me to trust you yesterday, right? Well, now I need you to trust me.”
He seemed so conflicted but eventually nodded, his features solemn. “Okay. I’ll trust you.”
You reached over and squeezed his arm comfortingly.
God, I hope I’m right about this.
+++
It had been a long time since Leon felt this afraid.
He had lost everything once, and was forced to spend a decade trying to survive the hole that loss gouged out of him. Just a void sitting inside his chest, the edges slowly creeping out to devour what was left.
Wolfie had been there for him in ways humans never were. Even when he wasn’t this grotesque monstrosity, he would rather die than burden someone else with his innate brokenness, preferring to mask it with his need to help or his oftentimes cynical sense of humor.
The truth of the matter? He didn’t know who he was when he wasn’t useful to someone. When he wasn’t a protector. He had never felt so unmoored, going without this self-imposed purpose to drive him forward.
Wolfie had renewed that purpose a month after his transformation, when Leon was at his lowest. He limped up to him with a swollen leg after being bit by a viper, clearly recognizing him despite his mutated features. He had done all he could to nurse the poor dog back to health, and Wolfie hadn’t left his side since.
He sometimes wondered if it was fate that brought them together again—if he allowed himself to believe in something beyond the mundane—but he had renounced god and any other spiritual bullshit ages ago.
He looked down at the dog in his arms, no longer in pain due to his venom’s painkilling properties, but his breaths were still concerningly shallow. He wanted nothing more than to sprint full speed back to the house but worried the movement would only exacerbate Wolfie’s injuries.
He wasn’t completely sure he was okay with letting you take his dog from him—not wanting to miss any precious time he might have left—but he agreed that it was worth a shot to bring him to the vet clinic, even if he couldn’t join you.
He glanced over at you, your teeth gnawing into your bottom lip as you silently walked beside him, and was at least glad you were here with him in this nightmare. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to do this alone.
Eventually, you made it to the house, and he moved aside to let you open the door for him. You both rushed into the building, you grabbing your first-aid kit and a pair of scissors.
You were quick to find the proper bandages, and Leon just held Wolfie’s body out so you could cut off the bloodied strips of his shirt and re-wrap the wounds. Your hands were shaking, but you were careful and methodical, so he didn’t comment on it.
When you finished, you grabbed a blanket and a towel, laying them on the dining table so Leon could bundle the dog tightly inside to protect him from the rain. It was a bit of a walk to the hunting lodge, after all.
You moved away to wash your hands and find your car keys, but Leon could only stare down at your leg as you came back into the room. There were mud and grass stains, which he expected, though he was caught off guard by the knee of your jeans being torn, bright red trickling down your shin in a small but steady stream.
“What happened to your leg?” he questioned, unable to recall when you could have gotten the injury.
“Oh, it's nothing. I just tripped when I was chasing after you. Nearly lost you completely because of it, but I found you pretty fast,” you told him nonchalantly as you packed your bag.
He felt his stomach drop at your words, realizing that he hadn’t once looked back to check on you during his mad dash to find Wolfie. The thought that you were hurt and lost in the middle of the woods during a storm that scared you, and he just left you there, making bile rise to his throat.
“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I should have waited for you… I didn’t even know you weren’t behind me anymore…”
You shook your head, smiling at him, but the expression couldn’t hide the exhaustion in your eyes. “It’s okay, I promise. You were worried about Wolfie. I don’t blame you.”
“It’s not okay,” he seethed, his own self-hatred pooling into his chest. “I left you alone in a storm! In the dark! What if that bear was still around, huh? It could have killed you and I left you there, with nothing to defend yourself with!”
“Leon, I’m fine. Nothing happened beyond this little cut.” Your voice was calm and he wished he could hate it. Hate you for how you could talk him into or out of almost anything.
It had been mere days. He didn’t know you, and yet he trusted you implicitly. Trusted you with the life of his only companion.
And then, when he asked you to trust in him, he had sabotaged it in an instant.
He didn’t respond, knowing he might say something he’d regret, so he only watched as you quickly rolled up your pant leg to blot and disinfect the cut. He disliked seeing you in pain, witnessing the way your face screwed up as you used peroxide on the small wound—heard the hiss you made as it bubbled up on your broken skin.
You were wrapping one of the extra bandages over it when Leon looked out the window, the storm only hitting harder as the hours passed. “Maybe we should wait it out. You shouldn’t be driving in this.”
You sighed as you unrolled the leg of your jeans, walking over to stare into the dark with him. “Under normal circumstances, you couldn’t pay me to go out in this weather. But I don’t think we have time to waste, Leon.”
You both glanced over at Wolfie on the table, wrapped up and hopefully comfortable in the blanket. Leon had no choice in this if he didn’t want to lose his dog.
He was meant to protect him and now he was sending him off with someone most people would call a stranger.
Any quality of his that could be halfway useful in this situation, and he wasn’t even there when Wolfie was attacked. And now his only companion was bleeding out on his dining table and he could do nothing to stop it but put him in someone else’s care and hope he lived.
Leon had all this strength, all these heightened senses. His entire body was deemed a weapon. And yet he couldn’t even save his dog.
What was the point of any of it, then?
And what would he have done if you weren’t there to help him? Watch Wolfie slowly die, helpless to prevent it?
Worse still, what if it was you who had been attacked?
He imagined your lifeless body lying in his arms, frightened eyes wide and staring off into nothing, drenched in blood that wouldn’t stop pouring out of you, and he could do absolutely. Fucking. Nothing.
“Come on, Leon. We have to go,” came your gentle voice, pulling him out of his dark thoughts.
He only nodded in response, grabbing Wolfie and heading back out into the downpour, beyond the safety of his home.
The two of you trudged in silence through the village, the storm raging above your heads. He could practically sense your anxiety coming off of you in waves, but you were doing your best to remain stoic. He didn’t know if it was to calm yourself or him, but he appreciated the attempt.
Finally, you made it to the hunter’s lodge, and you spoke up as soon as the door shut out the torrent. “I was wondering, how did you know where Wolfie was? Back there in the forest?”
“The storm dampened it, but I could hear him whimpering from the path. When I got close enough, I could smell the blood.”
“Right, super senses. Thank god for ‘em.”
He glanced at you sharply. “I’d rather have stopped him from getting hurt in the first place.”
“Hey, I know this sucks, but he’s alive and he’s going to stay that way if I have a say in it.”
He really took you in at that. Your face was wet, strands of your hair sticking to your forehead, but the fire in your eyes…
He had no way to know if things would work out the way you wanted, but your conviction—your unyielding, infectious hope—quelled the needling fear, if only for a moment.
He might not believe in god, but angels must be real if you were standing beside him.
You made it to the car shortly after, Leon gently placing Wolfie into the backseat as you threw your bag into the passenger side and sat behind the wheel.
You turned the ignition, the vehicle roaring to life as Leon looked down at you, urging, “Please be careful. I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”
“I will be. I promise.” Before you closed the door, you glanced back up at him, asking, “What are you going to do while we’re gone?”
He clenched his clawed hands into fists, feeling the sharp edges dig into his skin as he grated out, “I’m going to kill that fucking bear.”
You looked shocked by his words but nodded in agreement. “Okay. Good luck.”
And with that, you closed the door.
Leon stepped back to let you drive off, knowing that the fate of his companion was out of his hands.
He exhaled harshly and turned on his heels, ready for the hunt.
Now this is what he was good for.
Shifting onto all fours, Leon was quick to shed his more human qualities for the sake of the kill, sprinting faster than he ever had on his legs alone. He focused solely on his senses to direct him through the downpour and to his prey, feeling his claws digging into the wet earth below.
As he had told you earlier, the storm dampened his abilities, but that wouldn’t stop him from reaching his objective.
In fact, it only made him more hellbent on completing it.
It took him nearly an hour to find where the massive animal was lurking: a cave not far from where he had found Wolfie bleeding into the mud.
Despite its size, there was not much of a fight as Leon latched those deadly teeth of his around its throat and ripped. It barely had time to even register him launching at it before it was wheezing and choking on its own blood.
In this form, Leon was too proficient at killing. A part of him—deep, deep down—wanted to take his time tearing the beast limb from limb, listen to it roar and whine in agony before he finally put it out of its misery.
When its jilted movements eventually stilled, blood coating the cave floor and Leon from his mouth to the knees of his dirty pants, he stumbled back into the wall and closed his eyes tightly.
Vengeance. It was something he understood, but he didn’t see the point of it. Blood for blood’s sake never sat right with him. He only sought to kill out of necessity—to survive.
And yet, here he was, bloodlust finally fading as the bear’s large corpse laid before his weary gaze.
He could pretend all he wanted that this was an act of protection, a means to prevent further attacks in the future, but the sadistic glee he felt when his teeth sunk into warm flesh… there was nothing to excuse that.
This bear was simply living as it was born to do, even in its aggression.
Maybe Leon really was losing his humanity. Not a descent into a mindless killing machine, but a dissipation of self—fully aware of his own cruelty, but basking in it instead of rebuking it.
He wasn’t sure which version scared him most.
He had to make this worth it, then. He had to alleviate this burning shame and break apart the guilt sitting heavy in his gut like a stone.
And so, with care, he carved up the carcass of the once dignified beast and devoured it, leaving only bones and fur in his wake.
It was the only form of reverence he could convey.
He dug a shallow hole in the mud beside the cave, laying the gory remains inside before covering it once more.
The storm had finally started to clear as he finished the task, the scent of petrichor not quite able to hide that of blood.
Unsure of how long it would take for you to return with news of Wolfie’s condition, he rushed over to the hunter’s lodge to wait out the hours.
They passed slowly. Agonizingly. All he could do was curl in on himself and sit just inside the door of the old building, wet with rain and blood and mud.
He once thought his initial transformation was the worst he had ever felt, that it was rock bottom. Before that, it had been what transpired in this village. And before that, it had been the disaster of Raccoon City.
He realized bitterly there was always further to fall.
He wasn’t sure why you were so adamant to befriend him like this. To help him. Was this pity? Was Leon some charity case for you?
But then he thought of the way you smiled at him, the look on your face as he joined you in the cold water of the lake, the way you drifted to him like you were caught in his orbit and couldn’t fight the pull.
The thought that maybe, just maybe, you felt the way he did… it was a jolt across his slumped form.
However, nothing could change what he was. His nature, it was a vicious one. And someday, you might not survive the animal that unfurled inside of him—through him.
Whatever happened after tonight, he knew one thing: his only escape was death.
He would simply wait out the end of your trip, selfishly wanting to wring out any joy he might find in your company, and if Wolfie survived the night, he would send him home with you to live out the rest of his days. He was certain you would take good care of him, provide for him better than Leon could ever hope.
But, he was reminded, Wolfie might not survive.
And it was Leon’s neglect that was to blame.
Useless, useless, useless, he repeated like a mantra in his head.
He never imagined he’d have more to lose than he already did. More to ruin.
He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, the dawn breaking up the night. The sun’s warmth upon his skin did little to lighten his mood—as it burned more than soothed—but then he thought of the way your soft flesh felt against his and he nearly fell into a dream, eyes drifting shut.
He shot up suddenly at the sound of an approaching vehicle, though, his misery morphing into an all-consuming apprehension.
Was he prepared to grieve?
Your car finally pulled up near the lodge, and he rushed to the side of it, his heart palpitating as he stared into the backseat window.
He saw Wolfie laying there, breathing slow and steady.
He was alive.
Leon had never felt so relieved.
He turned to face you as you opened the door, looking up at him with tired eyes.
Your expression turned to full-blown concern when you took in his appearance, reaching out to touch the blood staining his bare chest. “Are you okay?”
Leon placed his fingers over your hand, holding it close to him, the warmth of it more of a balm than the sun ever was. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.”
You sighed, eased by his words. “You found the bear, I take it?”
He nodded solemnly. “It won’t bother us anymore.” You didn’t reply and he looked back at Wolfie’s unconscious form once more. “How did everything go? Will he be alright?”
“It went great. He got stitches and a blood transfusion, and they kept him overnight for observation. Went ahead and got him a few shots when they said he was in the clear this morning. He took it all like a champ.” You dropped your hand, to Leon’s chagrin, grabbing your bag from the passenger seat. “They told me to change his bandages every few hours and monitor for any infection. Gave me antibiotics and a few days' worth of painkillers. He should be just fine.”
“What did you tell them about the injury?” he questioned, suddenly concerned by what information you might have let slip in your distress.
“Don’t worry, I told them he got attacked while I was out camping. No specifics, I promise.” A look of realization then dawned on your features, to his confusion, before you began sifting through your bag.
You then pulled out a blue collar from its depths. It jingled as you held it up to Leon, shot tags dangling behind a bone-shaped one at the front, sporting the dog’s name and what he assumed was your number.
“Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it,” you said, shrugging as you stood from the car.
A flood of emotions washed over Leon, then, namely an overwhelming sense of gratitude for what you had done for him. It went deeper than the collar in your hand, deeper than even saving his dog.
You had faced a storm for him, soaked to the bone and afraid. You suffered being lost in darkness with an injured knee, even if it was only briefly. You drove through a torrent and stayed up all night to make sure his companion would live. You witnessed him covered in blood and filth and you reached out…
You were always reaching out.
Before he could think it through, he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a tight embrace. He felt your plush body pressed against his hard edges—heard the way you gasped in shock. You almost immediately settled into it, though, holding him in turn despite the drying grime flaking onto your clothes.
“Thank you, for everything,” he murmured, face buried into your neck, the natural smell of you drifting to his nose. It was all at once sweet and grounding.
There was so much more he wanted to say, but this would have to suffice, the words caught in his throat.
“I’d do it all again in a heartbeat,” you whispered, your small hands sliding across his back soothingly.
The warmth of you made him ache, made his eyes burn, never wanting to let you go.
He knew he must.
The walk back to the house was a silent one, the only sounds the rainwater dripping onto the ground and the squelching of mud underfoot, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. The two of you were just exhausted and still reeling from how the night had spiraled to near tragedy.
Leon glanced down at Wolfie’s sleeping form in his arms, so drugged up on pain meds he likely wouldn’t wake for anything. He gave the dog’s head a gentle stroke, beyond relieved that, for now, it wouldn’t be the last time.
The three of you entered Leon’s home, deciding that you would bring Wolfie’s bed and blankets downstairs, nestling them beside the fireplace to keep him comfortable and prevent him from exerting himself more than necessary once he was up and moving again.
Once the dog was settled in, Leon could only stand and stare, worried that if he took his eyes off of him for a moment, he might die in his absence.
“I’ll make you up a bath, Leon,” you said quietly from the kitchen, already bringing a large pot to boil on the stove. “You could really use one.”
He sighed, finally dragging his gaze from Wolfie so that he could level it on you. “Don’t worry about that. I can just clean up at the lake.”
You huffed indignantly, approaching him and taking him in—in all his filthy, monstrous glory. “No way. You need a nice hot bath, and that’s that.”
“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he replied, scoffing good-naturedly. In truth, the thought of you caring for him like this made his heart beat a little faster.
“Oh, I know,” you said with a smile, one that was so sweet, he would hold on to the sight of it for the rest of his life, “but it’s what you like about me.”
He found himself chuckling for the first time since last night, always so surprised by your ability to pull him out of his misery.
“Not the only thing,” he said lowly, fingers twitching at his sides to reach out and touch you again.
Your cheeks flushed pink at his words, but you shook your head and laughed. “Go on, sit down for a bit while I finish what I started.”
He wanted to argue—to assist you in your task—because being waited on like this was something he had never been used to. Instead, he did as he was told, plopping down next to Wolfie on the floor and petting him to pass the time.
He had almost fallen asleep again, unable to fight his eyes from drooping closed, when you called to him, informing him his bath was ready. He stood and stretched, yawning as he met you at the entrance of the side room.
“Here,” you told him, a pile of his clothes, a towel, and a washcloth in your arms, “knock yourself out. Well, don’t really.”
He took them gratefully, smiling at your ridiculous comment as he thanked you and disappeared behind the corner.
He quickly shed what was left of his tattered clothes, dropping them haphazardly onto the floor before stepping into the tub and lowering himself in the water.
It was hot, but it didn’t burn. In fact, it was rather soothing as it lapped at his skin. The tub was almost too small for him, however, his knees peeking out of the water from having to fold his long legs.
It was cramped but not completely uncomfortable. He sunk in a little further, letting out a pleased sigh.
This was definitely better than the lake, that was for sure.
Before he could relax fully, he caught sight of something on the side table next to him. He turned his head and instantly regretted it.
It was a makeup mirror you had brought, and it was angled in a way he could stare directly at his own reflection.
It made him flinch.
He didn’t look away, however, gritting his teeth against the image of himself he had loathed from the moment he transformed. But not only was he faced with his monstrous visage once more, he could now see the blood and dirt caked onto his skin, exposing him for what he truly was.
Something that was meant to kill.
He fought the urge to shatter the glass, not wanting to destroy something that belonged to you, instead leaning over and turning it away.
As he laid back in the water and began scrubbing the grime from his body with the rag you had provided for him, a barrage of thoughts overtook his tired mind, all of them relating to you.
He couldn’t bear to look at himself, yet you rarely took your eyes off of him.
He was disgusted by his own existence and the form he was forced to live in, yet you treated him like he was normal. Like he was a person.
He quickly finished bathing, the water starting to cool, but he was in no rush to leave, allowing himself this moment of peace and to think.
He rested his clawed hand against his chest and could still feel where your small palm had been placed there, could still feel the way your flesh gave under his tight hold when had embraced you. The warmth that radiated from your very being.
His hand lowered mindlessly as he lingered on the image of you stripping bare to him on that boat, offering him your impish little smirk and batted lashes over twinkling eyes.
It lowered further as he thought of your lips, wondered how they’d feel against his skin—how soft they would be.
He hissed as his hand gently wrapped around the base of his cock, almost shocked to feel it was already achingly hard.
Leon couldn’t remember the last time he had touched himself like this.
In the beginning, he worried he would hurt himself, what with the small daggers that were his new fingers. Eventually, he dared to wander—carefully, of course—and soon it was one of the few things human left of him, to have this libido to relieve. But as the years passed and his body changed, he hardly had the urge.
And now here he was, fisting his cock at the thought of you.
He held back a groan as he slid his thumb across his slit, imagining it was your tongue instead.
He could picture your pretty eyes looking up at him as you took him into your mouth, how you’d tease him with kitten licks and the gentle scrape of your teeth until he was begging you for more, how you’d pull away just to level him with that mischievous smirk you wore so well before you’d cave and take him to the hilt.
Leon gasped as he picked up the speed of his pumping fist, lifting his hips above the cooled water, trying to avoid sloshing it onto the floor with the motion.
He then thought of your cunt, how sweet it would taste as he laved it with his tongue—mused about what precious little sounds he could pull from those plush, kissable lips of yours. He could almost feel how your fingers would card through his hair, yank it to get him closer to where you wanted him; how he’d tease you the way you did him before finally conceding, your desperation for him almost more delicious than the very essence of you that he fed upon.
He grit his teeth as he neared the edge, fighting to hold back.
Too soon. It was too soon.
He paused his movements, taking in a slow deep breath to calm his rapidly beating heart, letting the wave of pleasure that nearly crested over him fade to a lapping tide.
His mind slipped back into his fantasy, then, needing to finish what he started before he was driven mad with desire.
He imagined you underneath him now, bodies flush together, the head of his cock sliding against you—not a taunt but a preparation for what was to come.
He wondered how tight you’d be as he pushed inside, how warm and wet and inviting, squeezing his hand as he emulated the scene from his head.
How well would you take him?
Although much of his body had changed over the years—grown—what sat beneath his belt had not. This was not a concern for him, however, having been well-endowed even for a human man of his former stature. In fact, he almost seemed more… proportionate… now.
Would he be too much?
Or would you plead for him to go harder and faster? Deeper?
Leon couldn’t stop the near growl that escaped him as he imagined the way you’d cry out into the crook of his neck, his name like a breathless prayer against his skin. He could feel you wrap your legs around him, scraping your nails across his spine hard enough to draw blood.
He was on the precipice once more, but this time he didn’t hold back.
He thought of you looking into his eyes as you came undone beneath him, wide and full of unshed tears, overwhelmed by the euphoria coursing through you. His body shuttered at the idea of your walls tightening impossibly around him, pulsing and wet.
He managed to bite back the whine that clawed up his throat as his cock twitched, his seed spurting across his chest and stomach.
He collapsed back into the tub, his mind so gloriously blank and full of fuzzy warmth as he caught his breath.
And then the realization hit him.
He had just masturbated. To you. While you were just on the other side of the wall, without even a door to fully separate the room.
He was flooded with remorse, then, wondering if he had managed to keep quiet enough so that you wouldn’t hear or suspect his reckless sin against you.
He stilled, listening intently to any sounds in the house, his inhuman ears able to pick out the overlapping breaths of you and Wolfie over the whistling wind outside, right there in the dining room.
He swallowed the lump of shame that formed in his throat and roughly wiped the spend from his flesh, the harsh scrape of coarse fabric a small punishment for his transgression.
As he dried himself and changed into sleepwear, he wondered how disgusted you’d be with him if you knew just what he was thinking.
Surely, you’d never look at him the same.
He wanted to blame his exhaustion from a sleepless night, but he knew deep down this was bound to happen eventually. Your very existence was a temptation to him, after all.
He took a steadying breath before he finally turned the corner to face you, pleasantly surprised and more than a little relieved that you were fast asleep, curled up on his couch with a blanket draped across your legs.
He smiled softly as he approached you, all worry forgotten as a swell of affection replaced it.
You looked so sweet laying there, head resting upon the pillow you must have brought from upstairs and your pressed hands, your breaths puffing out a strand of hair hanging over your mouth. Leon quietly chuckled as he tucked it behind your ear and pulled the blanket up and around your shoulders to keep you warm before standing upright once more.
He knew as he gazed upon you that regardless of whether you returned his feelings or not, his own might never leave him. He would have to make his peace with that.
He sighed, closing his eyes tightly before opening them once more, deciding that was a problem for later.
He then sat beside Wolfie, checking on him briefly before laying down right there on the floor, exhaustion overtaking any real need for comfort. Not like he hadn’t done it the first night of your arrival, anyway.
As he drifted into a deep slumber…
He couldn’t help but dream of you.
+++
The night had been a long one.
You had sat in the emergency room of the vet clinic with Wolfie for hours, watching as they tried to keep him alive.
You would never get the image of his terrified eyes out of your head, looking to you for help or for comfort as people he didn’t know surrounded him while he couldn’t even move.
You didn’t let your tears escape until they told you he was stable, locking yourself in their bathroom across the hall and sobbing into your hands, the events of the night finally catching up to you.
He would live.
You weren’t sure you could forgive yourself if he didn’t. You wondered if Leon would have.
Oh, Leon, you thought worriedly, I hope you’re okay.
You wished you could get ahold of him somehow to let him know Wolfie was alive, aware of the fact that even if he owned a cell phone, the village had no service anyway. You were half tempted to drive out to see him and tell him the news, but you didn’t want to leave Wolfie alone for that long.
You then recalled the bear and Leon’s promise to kill it, hoping desperately it didn’t hurt him. You didn’t know what you’d do if you drove back just to find him bleeding out in the mud like he had found Wolfie, the thought piercing your heart like a bullet.
To calm yourself, you replayed the day in your head, focusing only on all the good parts.
You thought of how he opened up to you at his friends’ graves, how he held your hand as you sat in the dirt together.
You thought of how he slipped his palms across your waist on the boat, how he spoke so lowly in your ear, how your faces got so close in the water.
You thought of how he stroked your hair while you sat by the fireplace, the affection so freely given it was as if he couldn’t stop himself from touching you.
You thought about how concerned he was for you when you returned to the house after finding Wolfie, how he was upset you had gotten hurt and lost in the woods and blamed himself.
And then you thought of what he said before you left for town:
“I might lose Wolfie, but I can’t lose you too.”
Those words were looping in your brain over and over.
You knew he was just concerned with your safety, that he’d probably feel guilty if something happened to you while you were trying to save his dog, but the way he said it… The way he looked at you…
“I can’t lose you.”
It was like he meant it.
Despite your anxiety, you managed to nap a bit on the bench outside of the observation room, asking the veterinarian to wake you when Wolfie came to.
In the morning, while he was still out cold, you took a brief stroll outside of the clinic, making your way into the neighboring pet shop to bide the time.
As you passed the shelves of toys and supplies, your eyes caught on a large blue collar, realizing that it was about Wolfie’s size. You held it aloft as you considered buying it, thinking it was almost silly to put a collar on a half-feral dog.
But then you thought of the other outsiders that might appear in the village every so often. You worried they might dog-nap Wolfie for his friendliness or kill him for his intimidating appearance, deciding it may be worth the purchase, just in case.
Besides, Leon seemed drawn to the color blue, if the majority of his shirts and his preference regarding the castle’s art was anything to go by. It was oddly endearing imagining the scorpion man and his wolf-dog matching in such a way.
After buying it and getting an engraved name tag, you returned to the clinic, petting Wolfie and offering him soft words of encouragement as the vet gave him some much-needed shots.
The rain finally subsided as you made your way back to the village, your nerves still alight despite Wolfie’s improved condition.
When you finally pulled up to the dirt road near the lodge, you were overjoyed to see Leon appear beside the car.
Your heart was in your throat, however, when got a good look at him, his face and still-shirtless torso covered in dirt and so much blood.
You couldn’t stop the instinctual need to touch him, reaching out and placing your hand against his stained chest. “Are you okay?”
He gently laid his clawed fingers across your knuckles, pressing your palm into his skin, as if your very being was a solace to him. “I’m fine. It isn’t mine.”
Your relief at that was palpable, beyond overjoyed that he was perfectly safe. Though, the blood had to come from somewhere, and it wasn’t all Wolfie’s. “You found the bear, I take it?”
Leon’s eyes seemed to darken, but he nodded, replying, “It won’t bother us anymore.”
The answer was jarringly cryptic, and Leon seemed more upset to admit he killed the bear than you would have thought, considering how eager he was to do it before you left.
You shook away your thoughts as he asked you questions, the conversation turning to Wolfie’s health.
You then recalled your purchase at the pet store, pulling it out of your bag and waving it in front of Leon. “Picked this up before I took him from the clinic. Hope he’ll wear it.”
You stood from the car, ready to get back to the house and take a nice, long nap, when Leon wrapped his arms around you, to your utter shock.
He held you close to him, the strength of it enough to feel your bodies meld together, but not enough to hurt you.
It took you a moment to register it all, short-circuiting at the feeling of him against you, but you eventually hugged him in return, shivering as he tucked his face into the crook of your neck and let his breath fan across your skin.
“Thank you. For everything.” His voice was tight in his throat and it made your heart ache to hear it.
It was the least you could do, a part of you deep down blaming yourself for what happened to Wolfie, because you had kept Leon out longer than he wanted. What if Wolfie had only been in the woods waiting for the two of you to come back? Maybe if you had agreed to return to the house before the storm hit, none of this would have happened to begin with.
Instead of saying that, you only replied, “I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.”
It was still the truth, as you would do anything to protect this half-man and his dog—willing to suffer more than just a nasty cut and a sleepless night if it meant they were safe.
Leon pulled away, to your despair, and grabbed Wolfie, the three of you heading back to the house.
As you set up Wolfie near the fireplace, you couldn’t help but notice the way Leon wouldn’t take his eyes off the sleeping dog, and although you understood it, he needed to wash the blood and grime from his body and get some much-needed rest.
If your night had been rough, you couldn’t imagine what his had been like.
He argued against you making him up a hot bath, but you wouldn’t hear it, telling him your decision was final.
“You’re stubborn as hell, you know that?” he said in faux annoyance.
You replied, smiling, “Oh, I know, but it’s what you like about me.”
“Not the only thing.” The words and the way he said them made a tingle run up your spine, but you were quick to shoo him off, taking a deep breath as you went about your task of filling the tub.
You changed quickly into your pajamas before sending Leon to his bath, flopping onto the couch with a quiet groan after fetching your pillow and a blanket from upstairs.
You thought that maybe you could sleep forever as you shifted, getting comfortable on the old piece of furniture. You wanted to wait for Leon, though, staring up at the ceiling in quiet cogitation.
Despite your fear that you were the reason Wolfie was out in the storm in the first place, you couldn’t understate your role in saving his life. Had you not been there, Leon wouldn’t have been able to do anything, and you could sense the distress that caused him at the realization.
You worried deeply about what might happen after you leave.
A stray tear escaped your eye and you battled the awful thought of one or both of them dying out here in this village, all alone, with no one to call for.
Wolfie was old and this place was dangerous. And even if Leon ended up being fine physically, you knew his loneliness would eat him alive, especially with the inevitable loss of his dog an ever-looming threat.
You squeezed your eyes shut, wiping them to stop you from crying.
You thought about Leon’s smile instead. Thought of his voice and his laugh and the way he looked at you. Like you were normal. Like you were important.
You could still feel the way his arms wrapped around you, how safe you felt. How cherished.
You sighed deeply, turning over to stare at Wolfie, watching the slow rise and fall of his side as he breathed. You reached out your hand to him, gently stroking his head, his fur soft and warm.
You wondered as your eyes drooped shut and your mind began to fade to unconsciousness, your fingers slowly falling away from Wolfie’s form:
How could you leave them now?
--------------------
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#plaga!leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x reader#plaga!leon kennedy#leon kennedy#resident evil 4 remake#re4r#chubby!reader#half-life
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I did a quick little sketch (by quick, I mean it took me like 2 hours lol) I still struggle with feet and shoes...
I just saw a pose on pinterest and thought omg, what if Astarion and my tav... but he's biting their thigh 🤭
Ofc, I had to name it.. thirst... and I added the "Happy" symbol to kind of cover a sketch I did on the same page... You know... it wasn't originally supposed to be just one piece, I was practicing poses and I liked this one way too much to just leave it or risk messing up when I redrew it.
This is entirely self indulgent.. and intended to be Spawn Astarion because he's so babygirl 🥰😘😍
🤣 also I don't think I posted but I got through the Cazador fight not too long ago.. and
Spoilers and dumb ramble ahead:
For most of my day, I sat there wondering how the fuck I would beat that bastard... he was one shotting Shadowheart with his fucking lightning bolt, then sending his gas minions after the survivors. Astarion being in the ritual made it 10× more difficult.. so... I cheated... and fuck... It should have been obvious...
I LITERALLY FORGOT FOR THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY THAT VAMPIRES ARE WEAK TO SUNLIGHT.. I blame Astarion and his parasite as well as Alucard for that one honestly.. the day walker thing kind of made me forget that omfg immunity to daylight is an exception, not the rule..
So I felt stupid.. once I got that, it was so much easier.. oh and almost constantly had Astarion in stealth kill mode until Cazadick was gone.
Also side note.. the VA for Cazador is perfect.. Like they really sells the "I'm a pathetic little worm, and your worst nightmare, fear me while I bitch and cry" LOL and again that's a compliment.. Larian really succeeded in making an evil character extremely grating and hatable which again, a good thing, not a bad thing.
The heartbreak I felt though afterwards when Astarion screams and cries.. God.. the second I got to this scene, I KNEW I couldn't let him ascend, doing so would be so cruel.. and yes.. this is ascended Astarion slander, I don't like my men too domineering.. maybe a little bit, but not enough to like kill innocent children and eat their hands or some shit lmfao (Doing a durge run too.. where I'm going to ascend Astarion and be a horrible bastard that eats babies) and I don't like that he loses the genuine feelings he has for tav/durge and becomes what he sought to destroy, an abuser.
Now.. the graveyard scene... I had tears in my eyes.. Honestly, the reason I love Astarion so much is because he is quite relatable. I will not go into detail, but I was.. SAed and abused as a kid. And honestly.. Seeing the bit where he scratched out his death date, made me feel hope.. for myself... For my own healing.. it truly meant so much seeing another survivor of abuse begin anew, find themselves again... even though I have done that already myself for the most part, I've found purpose, passions, love, heartbreak, etc and I've found some level of beauty in the life. I related quite a lot to the line about sex feeling tainted.. I am at a point where it no longer feels as terrible, I feel genuine enjoyment in it... (Can't do casual sex though.. That would trigger me into a ptsd attack) And I think part of that was letting myself go at my own pace, making sure my partners knew, and having control and the ability to consent and revoke consent at any point. Emotional attachment helped a great deal too.
I've rambled on enough.. but... Let me end this off by saying, If you went through unspeakable horrors at the hands of those who you thought were supposed to protect you, You are not alone, Even if you do not see it now, there is light at the end of the tunnel, keep on living, keep trying to find joy in little things. It does get better, what was done to you was horrible and you did not deserve it. I promise, you will see better days. You will be happy again, even if you feel like the pain will never end, there is always moments of calm.... live for those... live for your pets, live for your friends, the people around you, live for that cute thing you just ordered, live for that movie or TV series you're excited about watching... even the next patch for bg3.. or more Astarion content if that's your reason right now... and take it one day at a time. You will be okay.
If you need to vent out some shit, I'll listen, I may not know what to say or be able to offer comfort, but I will always lend an ear, even to a total stranger if they need it.
That's all from me, goodbye, until my next post.. whenever that will be ❤🖤❤🖤
#art#artists on tumblr#astarion ancunin#baldurs gate fanart#baldur's gate 3#baldurs gate astarion#bg3 astarion#astarion bg3#astarion#astarion brainrot#astarion x tav#astarion fanart#bg3 tav#tav x astarion#my tav#baldurs gate tav#tav#tav fanart#oc fanart#sketch#sketchbook#drawing#hand drawn#bg3 fanart#bg3 brainrot#bg3#a bit scandalous lol
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20 Questions for Fic Writers!
Thanks for tagging me, @calaisreno !
1.) How many works do you have on AO3?
-> 69. It's been almost two years since I entered the world of fic writing. Enjoying my time!
2.) What's your current AO3 word count?
-> 204,949.
3.) What fandoms do you write for?
-> I've written for BBC Sherlock, Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle, Harry Potter, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, and Good Omens, so far.
4.) Top five fics by kudos?
-> An Old Photograph
Mysterious Cheekbones
A 'Brief' Case
We're Not a Couple!
Wounded
5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
-> I respond to all the comments, sometimes to say thanks, sometimes to elaborate on something. I love responding to comments, and receiving new comments always brings me joy (obviously).
6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
-> The Fall , I think. Although there are quite a few, but this one is the saddest.
7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
-> I mostly write happy endings, so it was a bit difficult to choose. But I think Whisper.
8.) Do you receive hate?
-> Not hate, exactly but rude comments, sometimes. Including bots. But that's also rare.
9.) Do you write smut?
-> Yeah, sometimes. I've written porn both with and without plot. It's fun.
10.) Do you write crossovers?
-> I've written two crossovers by now. One was BBC Sherlock/Harry Potter and the other one was BBC Sherlock/Better Call Saul.
Sherlock/HP: The Hidden Side of London.
Sherlock/Better Call Saul: Better Call Sherlock.
11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
-> I don't think so.
12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?
-> Yes, three times. Twice in Russian and once in Chinese.
13.) Have you co-written a fic before?
-> No, I haven't.
14.) What's your all time favourite ship?
-> Sherlock Holmes/John Watson.
15.) A WIP you doubt you'll ever finish?
-> I've been meaning to complete A Fashionable Doctor for a long time, but I didn't get back to it for some reason. Not abandoning it, but yeah. It's a slice of life, fluffy fic. Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting. Pairing: Molly Hooper/Irene Adler. I will finish it, eventually.
16.) Writing strengths?
Characterisation.
Dialogue.
Realism in dark topics.
Descriptions in action packed scenes.
17.) Writing weaknesses?
I struggle to write descriptions when I have to set a scene. I'm an impatient writer, and I find it painfully boring.
Sometimes I tend not to follow the "Show, don't tell" rule. I've been trying to avoid this thing in my current WIPs, though.
I sometimes don't have the patience to write anything more than a drabble-length fic.
18.) Will you write dialogue in another language?
-> Haven't done that before, but I might, if I wanted to. Preferably in one of the 3 languages I speak.
19.) What was your first fandom?
-> BBC Sherlock. I started writing in January 2022.
20.) What's your favourite fic that you've ever written?
-> It was a tough choice between two or three works, but I'd say Superficial Wound, Deep Feelings. This is the first fic I wrote in the Victorian era style (for ACD canon fandom). Canon compliant to The Adventure of the Three Garridebs. Bittersweet ending.
Tagging: @helloliriels @topsyturvy-turtely , @lookingforlifeoutthere, @keirgreeneyes , @totallysilvergirl, etc.
#fanfiction#tag games#fic writers#writing#archive of our own#ao3#bbc sherlock#better call saul#breaking bad#good omens#harry potter#acd canon#sherlock holmes/john watson#sherlock holmes#john watson#kim wexler#jimmy mcgill#mcwexler#my fics
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-20 asks for Fic Writers-
hey!! I was tagged by @basicallyjaywalker to do this tag game, so ty for the tag rook!! :D
for tags, hmm... @taddymason @lightning-chicken @toastingpencils37 @lavful @weekend-whip and any fic writer that wants to do this!!
-
1.How many works do you have on AO3?
4 of them!
2. What's your total AO3 wordcount?
23,088 as of now :D
3. What fandom(s) do you write for?
so far, only ninjago, but I might write for another fandom at some point? not sure but it's pretty much only ninjago that I write for
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
I only have four of em on AO3 (and one on here), but here we go:
The one I've known since I was I was only just a kid at 85 kudos
I'm not sick, I swear at 61 kudos
As the years pass by (the old version) at 23 kudos
Thank you for being a friend at 18 kudos
5. Do you respond to comments?
YES. I always get a bit too excited when I see them and I literally cherish every single one, so even if it's just a keysmash I always respond <33
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angiest ending?
with almost all of my fics ending on a fairly happy note so far, The one I've known since I was only just a kid easily sticks out like a sore thumb with it's ending lmao
7. What is the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I think it'd def be I'm not sick, I swear! it's basically the only actual fluff fic w/o angst I've published so far lmao
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I hope I never will, but I mean- there was that one comment on my old version of atypb where this person complained about the wait and how they've been waiting 'a year' so 💀I don't know if that counts as hate but it's annoying af
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
nope, nope, nope 🤺
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't! I'm not sure if I'm open to it, tho
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
thankfully no I haven't, and I really do hope not
12. What's the longest time you've spent working on a fic? And what's the shortest?
the longest one would definitely be the old version of atypb (the new ver which I hope to release soon will beat that tho I think), and the shortest would be I'm not sick, I swear! I literally wrote that fic in like almost 2 hrs or smth while I was struck with the cold myself lmao
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
nope! I do feel up to it tho tbh
14. What's your all time favourite ship? From all the fandoms?
...do I really have to choose? like rook said, this is an awful question for a multishipper lmao
since I can't decide, I think they'd be raincloud, lost and jaya!
15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
that one lostshipping fic I wrote back in november or smth and never got back to it, I so badly wanna finish it but I can't :')) (although now that finals are done, I could try getting back to it)
16. What are your writing strengths?
shoot, uhhh Idk?? I think it's when it comes to describing smth I guess (so description basically)
17. What are your writing weaknessess?
honestly, I think it'd be dialogue, I don't know why I struggle with it often :') I am trying to get better tho!
edit: and while I haven't written any so far, I think fight scenes is also a weakness for me :') (well technically I did in the old version of atypb, but lets- lets just ignore that)
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
*smacks google translate* this bad boy can fit so much translation in it (unless it's arabic w/ it being my language n all..arabic fus7a, however-)
19. First fandom you wrote for?
ninjago, obviously 😎
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
I think it'd be definitely The one I've known since I was only just a kid!
-
#tag game#ninjago#writer tag game#rook tag#levi's beloved mutual(s) <3#this was really fun to do tbh!!!
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Writing/Art Update 3.5.2024
So, Polynya, did you finish the fanfic? Well...sort of? No. No, I guess the answer is actually no.
Last week, I said I had two and a half scenes left, one of which was the epilogue, and one scene I wanted to rewrite. I wrote the scene and a half that were not the epilogue, and then I tried to do that scene re-write. It came out better than it was, but I still didn't love it. I figured I would just go ahead and write the epilogue and then maybe come back and try again. 3/4 of the epilogue went great, and then I just couldn't manage to end it, and got stuck for three days. I went back and tried to re-write that scene I didn't like *again*, and barely got into before realizing that the way I was hoping to make it better did not, in fact. Yesterday, after Much Struggle, I managed to pull together an end to epilogue with is...okay...but I don't love it. So the current state of things is: 107,408 words, and it is strictly speaking, A Whole-ass Fanfic, but with two half-scenes that I hate.
It's really frustrating, because I had a bunch of productive weeks in a row, and my brain has just utterly collapsed on me in the eleventh hour. I've been trying so hard to push it over the finish line, but it's one of those things where I can't just brute force it, I need to somehow have a good idea. I am also so so tired this week. I know, logically, that probably I just need to relax and rest up for a few days and this will be easy to fix when I am feeling better, but it's hard to relax when I have this stupid almost-but-not-quite-done fanfic hanging over my head.
Here are some other stupid facts:
The scenes in question are important and I want them to be good, but they aren't exactly load-bearing, in the sense that nothing else depends on them
I don't even *need* the epilogue, and in fact, after I realized that I end all my Heart is a Muscle fics with people drinking (not on purpose, I'm just unoriginal), it made me want to drop the whole thing on principle (except that I also don't because it's sort of a thematic lead-in to the next story in the series and also Ukitake is there)
The two problem scenes are way at the end of the fanfic. When I do start posting this thing, I plan to post one chapter per week like I often do, meaning that I have literal months to fix these
Chapter 1 is beta'd and ready to go and literally nothing is stopping me from posting it this very second
BUT I don't want to post Chapter 1 until my beta has seen the whole fic because what if she notices something in Chapter 12 that needs to be fixed back in Chapter 1
AND literally nothing is stopping me from just sending my beta the last few chapters with a little note on the scenes I'm not happy with. It's highly possible she might have some ideas! Or just be like "you are insane these are fine"!
EXCEPT I don't want her to see my bad writing that I am embarrassed about
And so, here we are. I am probably going to give it another day or two, and if I can't manage to fix those two scenes, I'll just suck it up and send the rest to her.
I guess I also should re-do the banner, except I don't feel like re-doing the banner. It's....okay. I don't know. I just kind of slapped it together based on a thing we were doing at Art Club. Maybe I don't even want a banner.
Speaking of Art Club, it's March now, which meant there was a new theme at Art Club (nature) and I decided to try to get back into my daily drawing. I think this is possibly what killed my momentum on my fanfic. I am just literally only capable of having one priority at a time, even if it's a little tiny one, otherwise my brain just plays tug of war with my priorities and it's hard to manage either of them.
Anyway, I've been in kinda rough shape for the last few days, but I am sure it will pass. It's got some good bits, but I think I just never really managed to fall in love with this one, and I'm really worried about it getting a cooler reception than I'm used to, since the fandom seems to have quieted down significantly since the last time I posted one of these. On the other hand, I've worked too hard on this to not post it. Also, it's got some stuff in it that had to happen for the series to progress. And maybe other people will like it! Who knows! Not me!!
I had hoped to be able to start posting it this week, but that's not looking likely at this point, so I guess you can have another preview.
--- from Ch 3
"You really didn't have to go to all this trouble," Rukia pointed out, as she methodically piled her bowl with a heaping serving of everything on offer.
Renji grabbed a big pinch of the shirasu before passing it over to her. "It's fine. I'm not sure when I'll be up for cooking again, so I'm trying to clean out my fridge."
"Oh, so I'm helping?"
Renji grinned. "Sure."
"I love helping! If you need me to take this pickled ginger with me, I could take it off your hands."
"I think the pickles will probably keep for a bit."
"Hmmph," Rukia replied skeptically, and scooped some more into her bowl.
It was always difficult not to just sit and watch Rukia eat, in part because she truly did have an extraordinary talent for shoveling food into her mouth, but mostly because it reminded Renji of why they had come to the Seireitei in the first place, of how lucky he was these days. You have to go to work, too, this morning, he reminded himself, and dug in.
"You know, speaking of helping…" Rukia said a few minutes later, once she'd managed to eat enough to shave the edge of her morning ravenousness. "There's something I want to talk to you about."
The pleasant feelings in Renji's chest abruptly turned cold and gloppy. He frowned, and raised one eyebrow skeptically. “Yeah?”
Rukia looked up at him with her big, stupidly blue eyes. “Do you remember when we talked about how important it was for you to have a comfortable and peaceful recovery from your surgery?”
“I do. I distinctly remember asking you to drop it and not bring it up, again, actually.”
“Right, well, I never actually agreed to that. I think that you should come stay at my house.”
Renji gave her an incredulous look. “Your house? Kuchiki Manor, you mean? Your house that is actually my captain’s house?”
“It’s very nice there, as you know. The food really is very good and we have a million servants with nothing better to do--”
“I am sure they have better things to do, Rukia.”
“--and you can sit in a sunny spot in the garden and I’ll read you books and it will be so much nicer than staying in the Coordinated Relief Station!”
Renji heaved a huge, exasperated sigh. “It’s a nice idea, Rukia, but think about the look on Captain’s face if you even--”
“He said it was okay.”
Renji felt all the blood run out of his face, possibly out of his body entirely. “You asked him?”
“I know you’re only getting it done because he ordered you to. He obviously wants you to do your best to heal up well. He cares about you, too, you know, in his own way.”
Renji stiffened, his fingers tightening on his chopsticks. “You probably told him the whole story, then? How I broke my arm in the first place?” His voice sounded like it was coming from somewhere far away.
“Not the whole thing!" Rukia shook her head vehemently. "He knows you broke it saving me, that's the only important part.”
Renji drew in a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut. All he could focus on was the sound of his own blood pounding in his ears. “Why do you always have to do this?” he finally managed through gritted teeth. “I asked you to just leave it, but you never can.”
Rukia shoved out her lower lip. “Maybe if you took care of yourself half as well as you take care of everyone else, I would!” she protested. “Just let me spoil you for a few days, would it be so terrible?”
“Yes.”
#writing update#art update#here's hoping that posting all this will expel it from my system and i can turn around the fix my stupid bad scenes
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WIP Wednesday!
Thank you for the tag @elvenbeard! As always I loved seeing what you are up to, and now I wanna show what I've been up to behind the scenes of the past week ^-^
CUSTOM POSE PACK
I'm not going to lie when I say that I've been struggling to find any drive or motivation for the past couple of weeks. A handful of you have been very supportive in checking in on me (thank you <333) and the biggest challenge has been to not force the work much to my own frustration. BUT! We have made progress with my little bouts of inspiration! :D
(This image looks dodgy as fuck 😂 But I am currently away from my gaming PC and this is the only screenshot I have saved in my drafts ;-; )
I started working on lying down snuggling poses today! :D I had been holding off from lying down poses as they're a bit more complex to create than a standing pose. This is pose 10, and it is almost done! Just got a few tweaks/little details to work on for it to be finished. In fact, all of the poses so far have little details I need to correct, with each new pose I learn something new which I've then been able to apply to the previous to correct. It's all a learning curve which I am loving :3
I still don't have a rough plan to how many poses I am going to do, maybe 12/13 poses. After that I have to go back and check each of the poses to make sure all the little details are perfect, pack it into an AMM format for me to test as well as send it out to testers to test for themselves. If that all comes back okay, I should then be able to release it publically. BUT! I have no idea to when this will be as everything is a bit up in the air at the moment...
VP PROJECT
Another thing I also started today (took advantage of the motivation!) is a VP project that has been in the back of my head for a very long time. I'm going to try my best and keep this one a secret as I am so excited to share it with you all when it's finished.
A terribly blurred version of the first VP that I finished today :D Possibly going to be one of my most ambitious projects yet as I am planning to include a few custom poses. And I hope to make potentially 4 VP's to release at once. The plan is to hopefully have them released at some point next month as I know it is going to be a very time-consuming project.
...
And there we are! :D Not a lot going on in terms of WIPs but they are both quite complex projects to be working on so I haven't helped myself :')
If you are reading this and have your own WIP's at the moment I would love to see them! :D Hope you are all having a pleasant Wednesday <333
#wrote more than I thought I was going to#bit of a rambler sometimes :')#wip wednesday#oc: vincent ronin#kerry eurodyne
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i am sorry if this is stupid but lucifer “singing” in the church to god was not him singing right? I genuinely at first understood it as him singing and the first time I thought worship is used in any sexual context is with Michael later once lucifer starts to create sin, im sorry if this is dumb but this has been stuck on my mind trying to understand especially because i wont lie i went through some mental stuff seeing thats how others perceived it. if this is true i would love to hear (if you are open) then why you chose these sequences of events
Hello! You're not dumb!!! This isn't a stupid question!! It's actually one I've been expecting for a bit now aha, so thank you for having the bravery to ask.
I'm gonna discuss that scene and then get a little broader if that's okay.
CW: discussion of SA, including that in the Bible
It's interesting people have interpreted the cathedral scene that way. A while ago, I said I'm a "dead author" person, so I don't think my convoluted intentions matter. And I still think that! I wouldn't write so metaphorically and vaguely if I weren't okay with interpretations – (not that I look at reviews, but I follow the ABM tag on most social media and sometimes things find me.) So I've seen some people upset by this scene, and it doesn't really bother me (until they insist on it and assume my intentions and think badly of me as a person.)
But if you want to know what I intended – no, I didn't write God appearing in the cathedral and sexually assaulting Lucifer. It's Lucifer singing and God telling him to continue. That's what I wrote. But I know the language I used, and I know the parallels I was drawing.
Here's the thing – ABM follows Lucifer struggling to have some sort of autonomy over his body. In the cathedral, he's having it be violated. He wants to stop singing, God won't let him. Is this scene rape? I guess it depends on what your definition of what rape is. I don't want to be philosophical and annoying, but well, I'm serious. To me, the scene is about a will being imposed on Lucifer, about his body being used in a way he doesn't want.
(On that note, worship always had a sexuality to it. This doesn't mean worship was performing sexual favors, (definitely not what I intend to imply), but just that there's always been something sexual about the practice of complete submission and praise. I remember wondering what God derived from being worshipped all day by angels, as the Bible seems to say. Did he get pleasure from it? It almost felt fetishistic to me.)
And God does "actually" assault Lucifer, later. In Eden, the last sentences of Chapter 29. (I'll save the "what does sex even mean in this book" post for another day). A part of me wants to apologize because that's upsetting, but it's supposed to be upsetting. This book is supposed to be upsetting. And I'm not just saying that because it's my trauma dump book haha. Sometimes books are uncomfortable and ugly.
But why would I write something this awful and (allegedly) blasphemous? Maybe I'm trying to say something about authorities in the Church and impressionable young people, maybe I'm trying to say something about Christianity and bodily autonomy, maybe it's about me and conversion therapy. Who cares about my intentions.
But I want to share a Bible story that I discovered a little before I wrote ABM. I was reading Ezekiel 28, this passage a lot of Christians associate with Lucifer, the epigraph of ABM:
Your heart became proud
on account of your beauty,
and you corrupted your wisdom
because of your splendor.
So I threw you to the earth;
I made a spectacle of you... Ezekiel 28:17 (NIV)
In Ezekiel 28, God addresses the fallen cherub angel, who had been in Eden, who had been adorned with every precious stone, who had been perfect in beauty and wisdom. He's angry the cherub became proud on account of his beauty.
I started reading the rest of Ezekiel, which I'd done before but never closely. I found Ezekiel 16.
In Ezekiel 16, God tells the story of Jerusalem, who is personified. First, he sees her as an infant, and, in God's own words: "I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked." He comes by her again, later, then decides she's "old enough for love" and clothes her. He adorns her, in jewelry. He says she becomes beautiful. He says, "And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect."
But then, God says, Jerusalem, "you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his." It doesn't say who his is. "You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. You went to him, and he possessed your beauty."
In punishment, God decides, "I will deliver you into the hands of your lovers, and they will tear down your mounds and destroy your lofty shrines. They will strip you of your clothes and take your fine jewelry and leave you stark naked. They will bring a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with their swords."
(In ABM, God says "Shall I deliver you to the hands of the angels, so that they strip you of your clothes, jewelry, and leave you without flesh? Shall I command a mob against you, who will stone you and hack you to pieces with swords?”)
In Jeremiah 13, God addresses Jerusalem again. He says, first, "I will weep in secret because of your pride." Then, he gets angry and says: "Because you have forgotten me and trusted in false gods. I will pull up your skirts over your face–"
I remember being really fascinated by this Jerusalem, who God seemed to have groomed, who became proud on account of her beauty, who went on to love someone else, who God decided had to be hurt by everyone, who God eventually assaulted.
#short answer: its not true#long answer: click the Keep Reading ahsjd;sd#i wasnt trying to be shocking or anything with what i wrote#im being so sincere about things asgkdhddk#but yes people r right to be uncomfortable#youre supposed to be!#its a very ugly guttural feeling for me#but there's catharsis in the release#sorry for answering so late#mine#ask#angels before man#reblog in tha mornin probably
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most ardently
this is inspired by the two proposal scenes in pride and prejudice 2005 (which is one of my comfort movie). a sort of enemies to lovers with shoto todoroki.
(disclaimer: these two scenes are not mine! they are just something i changed up a little for the purpose of this fic! and the characters do not belong to me! i do not want copywrite issues!)
no warnings! angst to fluff! (if you enjoy this, please give me recs on what to write next. i am SEVERLY suffering from writer's block)
also, the tinist bit of iida x ochako, one because i just saw the cutest tik tok shipping them, and two because, why not?
----------------------------------------
despite the party still raging on inside the dorms of class 3-A, you storm out of the building as fast as you could. you couldn't help but balk at the audacity of todoroki. it was pouring rain, but you didn't care. all you could think about was what midoriya accidentally spilled to you. how shoto had ruined your best friend's relationship, by warning off her beloved. then other memories of him started to bubble up, and soon, you were filled with rage. how he had constantly looked down on you, despite your cheerful attempts to get him to engage. how he always stood in the corner of the room at every party or get-together, looking around disdainfully, as if he wished he could be anywhere else. how, the first night you met him, he insulted your vanity, saying that your looks were not near pretty enough to tempt him, when he wasn't aware that you and your friend were in earshot.
making your way under some shelter, a few blocks from UA, you leaned against the wall, trying to catch your breath. in focusing on that, you do not notice a figure come up beside you.
when shoto clears his throat, you gasp, your mind going through thousands of explanations that could explain why your enemy has followed you. but before you can come up with any plausible choice, he speaks.
"l/n. i have struggled in vain and i can bear it no longer. these past months have been a torment. i came to this party with the single object of seeing you. i had to see you."
you stare at him in complete shock and confusion. what on earth is he getting at? but before you can voice any of these things, he continues on.
"i've fought against my better judgment, my family's expectation, the inferiority of your birth, my rank and circumstance,"
anger filled your gut once again as he spoke. well, your parents were no number one hero, but they were doing just fine with themselves! and even though you and your family weren't rich, it wasn't like you were poor! how dare he utter those words to you. and yet he continued.
"all those things, but i'm willing to put them aside and ask you to send my agony."
"i don't understand".
and before the last syllable falls off your lips, he utters "i love you."
he stares at you and steps closer. "most ardently." his voice shakes, and you feel so many different, contradicting emotions.
he swallows when you do not respond. "please do me the honor of accepting my hand."
there was a pause as you tried to recover yourself. finally you speak.
"todoroki, i appreciate the struggle you have been through, and i am very sorry to have caused you pain. believe me, it was unconsciously done."
his gaze hardens a bit. "is this your reply?"
"it is"
the rain continued pouring down around you.
"are you," he blinks. "are you laughing at me?"
"no" you respond sharply.
"are you rejecting me?"
you almost scoff, trying not to roll your eyes. "i'm sure that the feelings which have hindered your regard will help you in overcoming it."
his arms sway against his side for a bit, as if he wasn't expecting this response.
"might I ask why you rejected me with little hesitation? am i so repulsive?"
stalking up to him, you get in his face, pointing a finger at his chest. "i might as well ask why, with so clearly a motive of insulting me, you chose to tell me that you liked me against your better judgment?"
his eyes widened, and he tried to double back. "no, believe me, i didn't mean-"
but this time, you didn't give him a chance to finish. "and if i was so uncivil for you to be with, then there's your excuse for such mockery of my character, but i have other reasons to reject you, you know i have!"
"what reasons?" the fact that he actually seemed shocked about this made you even angrier. you take a step back and wipe your face, clearing the raindrops that stained it.
"do you think that anything might tempt me to accept the man who has ruined the happiness of a most beloved friend?"
he stared at you, his mouth agape. he gave no answer, so you pressed on. "do you deny it, todoroki?"
nothing.
again you ask, "do you deny it, shoto? that you separated a young couple who loved each other, exposing your friend to the same heartbreak you subjected my best friend too? that you allowed them such misery?"
"i do not deny it."
"how could you do that?"
"because i believed your friend to be indifferent."
you actually scoff this time. "indifferent?"
"i watched them most carefully, and realized his attachment was much deeper than hers," he managed to stutter out.
"that's because she's shy!"
"iida too is modest, and was persuaded that she didn't feel strongly for him"
"he was only persuaded because you suggested it!" you started to raise your voice, overwhelmed with the truth.
shoto scoffed and looked away. "i did it for his own good."
"OCHAKO BARELY REVEALS HER TRUE FEELINGS TO ME!" you try to calm yourself, but nothing was working. "i suppose you suspect that his fortune had some bearing on the matter?"
shoto inhales quickly. "no! i would never do your friend the dishonor. although it was suggested that dating him would be advantageous."
"did ochako give that impression?"
"no! it pains me to say this, but it was shown in the lack of propriety by your other friends."
"wow."
"so this is your opinion of me? thank you for explaining so fully," he spat, "perhaps these offenses might have been overlooked, if your pride had not been hurt-"
you almost laugh in his face. "my pride?"
"- by my honesty in admitting scruples about our relationship. could you really expect me to rejoice in the inferiority of your circumstances?"
"and those are the words of a gentleman? from the first moment i met you, your arrogance and conceit, your selfish disdain of the feelings of others, made me realize that you were the last man in the world I could ever be prevailed upon to be with!"
shoto recoils, as though he had been slapped. "forgive me for taking up so much of your time." he abruptly turns to leave, not noticing the tears in your eyes due to the matching ones in his.
after he was out of sight, you fall to the wet ground, sobbing.
over the next three months, the two of you barely speak. and over that time, you really reflect on your time together. you realize that your feelings about him ran deeper than you thought, and you often cried about what could have been. but your pride prevented you from doing anything about it. you tried to put on a happy face around your friends, but they knew.
one night, at another party, this one to celebrate the end of midterms, you think back bitterly to how the last party ended for you. but you couldn't be too upset, when you see ochaco and iida cuddling in the corner. you were so happy for your friend, and apparently, everyone else too, and the couple got berated by their classmates the rest of the evening. smiling to yourself, you look around the room, before you meet mismatched eyes which cause your smile to drop. feeling overcome with sadness, you walk out of the party again, not wanting to ruin the mood.
the stars were beautiful tonight, but it was a bit chilly for you to properly enjoy them. you sit on some random bench you come across, just thinking. then, across the street, you see someone emerge. standing up, you wave him over. "shoto!"
"what are you doing out here?"
"oh, i," you were too embarrassed to tell him the real reason. "i just needed some fresh air." he hums in response, and silence falls.
you look at him, in all his glory, with his mismatched hair flowing in the wind. you shiver, which he notices, and suddenly the air around you is warmer. you smile at him, and his blushes.
"thank you for the kindness you showed to ochako. i need to make amends with you immediately."
"you must know," he responds quietly, "surely, you must know it was all for you. i thought you hated me. but when i saw you looking at me at the party, i allowed myself to hope, which i scarcely did before. if your feelings are still what they were, tell me so at once. my affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me forever."
relishing in his words, you remain silent. so he continues.
"if your feelings however, have changed," he trailed off, so you look at him.
he looks as though he is gathering confidence before turning to you fully, looking you in the eye, and grabbing your hand. "i would have to tell you, you have bewitched me body and soul and i love… i love, i love you. i never wish to be parted from you from this day on."
tears fill your eyes as you launch yourself at him. he holds you close, and you whisper. "i love you as well." you look at him with a twinkle in your eye and tilt your head. "most ardently."
he laughs, and you envelope yourself in it. he turns your head to face him and presses a soft kiss to your lips, which you return without hesitation.
author's note: i'm a little conflicted with this. i didn't want to change up the wording, but now it sounds like he's actually proposing, and you guys are still supposed to be at UA, and when i did change up the wording, it just feels wrong? i also cut the first proposal a little short to get the story moving. i hope you can find it somewhere inside of you to forgive me.
... oh well, just imagine it all works out the way i wanted it to in my head. lol. love you all, and i hope you are all having a wonderful week!
#pride and prejudice 2005#mr darcy#shoto todoroki#todoroki shoto x reader#mha shoto#shoto todoroki imagine#shoto todoroki x reader#shouto todoroki x reader#shoto drabble#todoroki shouto x reader#shoto fluff#shoto todoroki drabble#shoto todoroki fic#shoto todoroki fluff#shoto todoroki oneshot#shoto x reader#shoto x y/n#shouto x reader#todoroki shouto x y/n#mha todoroki#todoroki x reader#todoroki fluff#iida x ochako#ochaco x iida#iidachako
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More Ted Lasso Musings
Before I start let me say once again that this season has contained absolutely wonderful moments and is still a wonderful bit of light in a buuuuunch of darkness. Also spoiler warning.
Cool, so I've figured out what's bothering me this season and its that they're either showing us everything and telling us nothing, or showing us nothing (of actual character significance) and telling us everything. in the showing us everything and telling us nothing category we've got my love Keeley Jones. I feel like we've spent a massive amount of time at KJPR and I still feel like I'm scratching my head as to what they were trying to tell us. They've set Keeley up to be this incredibly competent and bright person, and when they give her her shot it all goes to shit. and I get it "you can't always get what you want" so says the song for this season's trailer, but I'm struggling to understand the thing that she got that she needed that she didn't already have. She had Rebeccas love and support, I mean she has Roy back but this does not seem like the show where the moral of a long story about her starting her own business is that she has her boyfriend back. I actually would love people's take on what you think we're supposed to get out of Keeley's storyline.
Onto the telling but not showing category we got my guy Nate the Great. He has been so totally short changed this season on his redemption arc. It is HARD to become a better person. It is HARD to admit you fucked up. It is HARD to turn against your own knee jerk insecurities and reactions. It is ESPECIALLY HARD to do that in an environment that is actively incentivizing you to act on those insecurities and reactions. So even though I absolutely believe Nate deserving and capable of these huge leaps forward in overcoming his own internal crap, I think we've completely sidelined that narrative of what's pushing him to actually take those huge leaps forward. At the end of season 2, it was clear Nate was really struggling, and I'm not gonna lie I hated the way he treated those around him, like Beard said it was "personal, and weird" but I also felt a huge amount of sympathy and compassion because no one gets that way without something horrible happening to them first. So when the last scene of season 2 happened and he was teased as this big time villain, I was sad, but not surprised. I expected him to get his redemption, but I also expected that to be a really difficult journey for him where he was likely going to get worse before he got better. So now we're in season 3 and he suddenly just makes all these huge leaps forward, they feel from out of nowhere, not because I don't feel like he's capable of it, but rather that should've been more difficult to do, and also it should've been a moment of great personal triumph for Nate! The way I think of it is imagine if Rebecca had just waltzed into teds office in season 1 and confessed about the sabotage with no context. Sure we would've believed her capable of it, sure we would've believed she deserved forgiveness, but we all would've been scratching our heads as to what made her have this reckoning within herself. they would've told us Rebecca changed instead of shown why and how she changed like what they're doing with Nate.
I actually think there's so many parallels between the relationship of Nate and Jade and the relationship of Roy and Jamie. Both Nate and Roy made stupidly bad and self destructive decisions around the end of last season. Both are in a low point in their emotional journeys, almost all of Nathan's emotional scenes have been with Jade while all of Roy's emotional scenes have been with Jamie. The thing is, that's not where their respective internal work really needs to get done? Nate already took the plunge and asked out Jade last season, and Roy already showed real vulnerability when he hugged Jamie after the thing with his dad (not that I think that means everything wrapped up with a shiny bow or anything, but just that each character has much bigger fish to fry in terms of character growth) I do think Nate and Jade have become really cute just as Roy and Jamie's scenes have felt ripped straight out of a fluffy fanfic. but do these scenes actually show us that Nate/Roy are getting better? We've already seen Nate being an absolute sweetheart with the women in his life who he loves, his mother, his niece (even if we didn't actually see her till this season it was clear that they had a very warm and positive relationship) and Keeley, so him being able to be vulnerable and open up with Jade is lovely, but not really that new of a territory. If we could just see Nate having a shift maybe with his coaching staff or the West Ham players, this would feel more meaningful because we saw him struggle way more with people he perceives as part of his own hierarchy structure. Its the same with Roy. We've seen Roy open up to Jamie in the past so their relationship, while fucking adorable, is not doing anything to address the real struggle inside Roy that he's ignoring. It would be way more meaningful to see Roy have moments where he chooses to have joy instead of running away. Instead we get scenes like where the sports pundit squad just says oh by the way Nate left West Ham, in the same way that Ms. Bowen says to Roy that he seems less stuck. Umm what? Since when? what happened? All tell and no show. Or showing only the least character growth relevant scenes and then just be like oh by the way they fixed it.
reblog and comment away because I'm interested in people's take on this.
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