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wheremermaidsdwell · 6 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by the lovely @lavellenchanted

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

45! My teen fic is on FF.net and will not be moved over, I have some lost fic from my time on livejournal, and I have 25 vids on my youtube (a couple have been cross posted to AO3)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

153,461 I never wrote long fic before How Not to Drown so this is unsurprising. Most of my stuff is 1-2k.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently I am deep with the Stranger Things brainrot and writing nothing but Hellcheer. But historically tons of MCU/Comics and Star Trek. I also have written a good bit of Blindspot fic and had my tent set up in Critical Role before Hellcheer took over.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

How Not to Drown Stranger Things Chrissy/Eddie , unsurprising as it's my longest fic

Far Less Alone Critical Role Keyleth/Vax, fills in a major canon point, only surprising due to how late I was to the fandom. Content wise unsurprised.

Butterflies Critical Role Fjord/Jester Jester POV introspective fill in fic. mildly surprised but then so many people love Jester and this is like 100% cuteness.

Afloat Critical Role Fjord/Jester Fjord POV that takes place literally like 36 hours before Butterflies lol. Surprised honestly! Fun fact this almost got a masturbation scene! Ended up keeping things pg.

Grid (there should be an accent but i don't know how to do it. It's norse) Thor Comics Thor/Sif. Pure PWP. Unsurprised thorsif fandom starved lol

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I didn't used to but have been since encouraged to do it and I am enjoying talking to people and it's nice to have back and forth and apperciate them more i think. I used to worry about inflating numbers but apparently people expect it in most fandoms so I have literally nothing to worry about.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Wishing, which is Oscar POV Jane/Oscar Blindspot porn. You could say it's a PWP but it's also Oscar inner monologue on love and duty and loss. My other Blindspot drabbles are all angsty too. I'd have to go read them all to figure out which is which though.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Bruh I write so much fluff. So much. How Not to Drown is pretty fucking happy for how much shit they go through. Butterflies is probably the other one that is just SWEETNESS

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Nope. idk I've never been in a hornet nest fandom and I keep to myself.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

So much lmaooooooooooo. It's mostly just very emotional and pretty vanilla honestly. Extremely explicit though. Also I don't like writing talking during sex so mine will usually have minimal sex dialogue unless there's a reason for it. Maybe someday I'll write some real dirty talk but god. super chatty characters when they're supposed to be fucking is a pet peeve.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I don't think I've written a crossover in years. However, I RPed for a long time and THERE I wrote so many crossovers. Sif was great for crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but Maps of a Compass Rose exists in the same verse as a fic of @intosnarkness 's and the universe is an AU that started from a game with our at-the-time rp group.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Thor/Sif probably

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I want to finish my Briarwoods prequel fic (unposted. I do not post fic unless it is finished). Unfortunately (fortunately) Hellcheer has eaten my soul so that's not happening anytime soon.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at dialogue and character voice

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Fleshing out descriptions.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it makes sense i'd probably do it, but i'd add floating text translation and end note translation or something and if it was more than a sentence that could be explained through context clues i might find a way to indicate it but not write it. (i have not had this problem. i did on my rp account sometimes but that could float translate or put it in tags since it was singular words or phrases)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Gundum Wing

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

How Not to Drown. Obviously. how else did I fucking write that much lmao Partially BECAUSE of the length i am very proud that i finished it.

#meme stuff

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wolfcamellias · 2 years

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I'm still writing it only in the planning stage so far but even the plan is almost 2k words and it's just rough ideas and dialogue should be posted by around Tuesday or Wednesday hjfjfhfjf

Mark your calendars for Sunbasket Tue-Wednesday!!!

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hospitalterrorizer · 4 months

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diary113

1/4/2024

thursday

so tired my head hurts

was reading tiqqun's cybernetic hypothesis this morning in the laundromat, got detergent on my hands and felt gross. the wind was blowing today too, which made me feel dirty upon setting foot outside, sickening feeling. plus it messes your hair up, but honestly it didn't get me that badly. but my head hurts, the wind probably blew a bunch of allergens into my lungs, that's going to be awesome i bet. we also went grocery shopping and saw a crazy guy who said fuck off at my girlfriend, and then wandered into the smiths and was still very strange. he didn't do anything ultimately though.

what else. i dunno.

i did 3 songs today, 1 is perfect basically, the other two have tiny issues, the one closest to perfect just needs a bit less highs in the vox and needs some tonal volume back in the kicks. the other that's a bit farther away mostly has problems in the vocals, too many high mids, 2k i think. maybe the snare needs to be pumped up too. i also need to figure out a good outro bit in the song, some kind of thingy that rises up, maybe an 8 bit synth thing. i did that in one of the songs, it's really fun to do, just nonsense bits stuck in the end that swell in a matter of like, less than 3 seconds, in some cases. that'll be fun to implement, especially with some of the really annoying synth sounds. it's funny that really ugly random chiptune sounds might help the album cohere better or something, i guess because it will help keep the momentum up.

i should also do that w/ feedback, maybe when i get the sequence down better i can throw in some feedback things at the end/start of certain tracks, that should be good to help create cohesion as well.

the big annoying song i have kept going back to, upon listening to it, is kind of still really frustrating me. i should maybe take some more days off of it and keep getting through all these other ones, or maybe correct the tiny errors i noted here and get to others tomorrow. but the annoying one, when i do get back to it, i should try at first raising the low layer and dropping the treble layer a bit. i should also maybe think about replacing the treble layer with another sound, maybe another instance of that same guitar sound but in a better form, from another where that guitar sound is like, more perfect i guess. the rest of that song is really in a good place i feel like though, is the thing, it's really messed up. the issue is, right now, it almost sounds too clean/pristine, it's a bit too fluid sounding, i guess another thing is i can reduce the level of the lossy effect on the guitar, which i know is doing that a bit as well i think. another idea i'm having is to remove all amp sims from the guitar layer thing and instead do that on the group layer, i wonder how that'll go.

i should also look at the frequency range of stuff i'm listening to for pointers w/ guitars.

another music idea i should note down: hxc thing that when it slows down it's just the song's main riff resampled at a slower rate, maybe 30% or whatever.

and now about the little bit of reading i did, cybernetic hypothesis is very interesting so far, mostly about the circumstances that have produced our particular moment. one part caught me as interesting, how the marginalized/minoritized/outsiders are 'given voices' now, supposedly, but it's really a kind of mandatory participation in a dialogue/submission to many kinds of apparatus which categorize and make one intelligible, rather than to oneself, only to the various systems/autonomous processes we are interred in, serialized, carrying credit, gifted diagnoses, but we are always prevented from engaging with these statuses on our own. but i guess what caught me as most prescient re: mandatory participation or in their words "imposition of participation" reminds me of how people always get wrapped up in bizarre kinds of drama online, carrying opinions, forced into having thoughts on any number of things.

anyway i am tired now, so:

byebye!!!!

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mypoisonedvine · 3 years

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ear candy || Mike Weiss x reader

summary: for a good time, call ‘candy.’ she can’t fix your life but she can distract you from it for a while.

word count: about 2k

warnings: technically not smut but definitely close enough (dirty talk/phone sex), some angst, daddy kink, a touch of degradation/objectification kink?? very subtle tho

a/n: my goal with this was to make it very dialogue heavy because I wanted it, like real phone sex, to be mostly about the words rather than anything else! so I kept the descriptions to a minimum, hope you don’t mind…

You’d heard that more established phone sex operators had companies and screeners and services to help them disguise their number. All you had was an ad in the paper and a landline, but it got the job done.

Technically, you had no way to know if a call from a number you didn’t recognize was a horny customer or something actually important, but it was pretty obvious when the phone rang at one in the morning on Friday night wasn’t going to be your bank or something.

You let it ring two, three, four times before picking up, putting on a slightly sultry voice as you greeted, “hey.”

“Hey,” the voice returned— so much more assured than you were used to, more confident and casual, nothing like the married men whispering to keep from waking up their wives, nothing like the nervous first-timers who made it clear that you were a mistake they would regret. “Saw your ad in the paper…”

“I’m glad you called,” you smiled, “what’s your name?”

"Mike,” he answered quickly. “What’s yours?”

"Hi, Mike,” you purred. “You can call me Candy.”

“I’m not gonna call you that,” he sighed, and suddenly the air of confidence was gone; not to fear or secrecy, but to obvious weakness, to exhaustion, to an ache that you wish you didn’t understand as well as you did. “Tell me your real name.”

“You don’t know that Candy isn’t my real name,” you defended.

“Yes I do. Tell me your real name,” he demanded again, though his tone wasn’t actually very demanding. You did it anyway. “It’s pretty,” he decided, a little crack in his voice making your heart twist.

“You don't sound like you're doing too good,” you noted, trying not to make it too pitying but still sympathetic.

"My wife left me."

You nodded, to no one in particular, because you definitely knew how to handle this kind of guy, even if it had been a while since one had called. "I'm sorry to hear that. How can I help you?"

"I can't stand being alone," he explained tensely.

"I can definitely help with that…" you trailed off. “I can just listen, if that’s what you need.”

“No, I... I want you to talk,” he assured, making you smirk slightly.

“Do you have a credit card, Mike?” you prompted.

“Yeah, yeah, lemme give you the number,” he mumbled, the sounds of shuffling indicated that he was searching for his wallet.

He dictated the numbers to you as you sat up and dashed to your computer, entering them in and stalling a bit until the card came back approved. “So, Mike, tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Nothing, it’s a blank slate,” he murmured, voice lilted with a smirk. “Wanna give me something to think about?”

“What do you wanna know?”

“Tell me what you’re wearing.”

“Not much, I was in bed when you called… so just a t-shirt.”

“Just a t-shirt?”

“Yeah… it’s too big for me, it’s an old Cowboys shirt my ex left behind…”

“Cowboys? You’re breakin’ my heart, honey,” he chuckled.

“You’re a Houston fan?”

“It’s a symptom of being in Houston, right now, as we speak.”

“Fair enough,” you giggled. “Maybe I should take it off then, if it bothers you…?”

“So if my calculations are correct, that should mean you’re completely naked right now.”

“Yeah, go ahead.”

You set the phone down to remove the shirt, coming back with a chipper announcement: "Done!"

“Yep,” you agreed, popping your lips at the end of the word.

“Then do me a favor and play with your tits a little bit. Are your nipples hard?”

“Yeah, they got hard when I heard your voice, it’s really sexy.”

“Good, give ‘em a little pinch then… does it make you wet, when you touch them like that?”

“Mhmm, they’re really sensitive,” you admitted.

“I bet you’d love my tongue on them, wouldn’t you? You’d like me sucking on your tits?”

“Yes,” you sighed, “please, I’d love it so much.”

“Why don’t you touch your pussy for me?” he prompted, cocky as ever.

“Tell me how, exactly,” you bargained. “I wanna touch myself the way you would touch me.”

“Two fingers on your clit— slow, smooth circles…”

You moaned a little, following his instructions. “Fuck, Mike, it feels really good.”

“I like when you moan my name like that. By the end of the night you’re gonna be screaming it for me, how’s that sound?”

“Sounds like exactly what I need.”

“Yeah, I bet so, bet you really need to get fucked. And it’s handy, then, that I really, really need to fuck something, god I’m so worked up I could just lose it.”

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

"M'hard, so hard, can't stop thinking about what it would be like to be inside you."

"I like the sound of that. What would you do to me, if you could?'

"I'd fuck you so good, sweetheart, until you begged me to stop because you couldn’t come anymore."

"Mmm, I bet so, you sound like you know how to fuck.”

“Hell yeah I do, and you sound like you need a thick cock.”

“Is that what you’re offering?” you hummed, biting your lip.

“If you think you can take it.”

“Fuck, I’ll try my best… it’ll probably be a pretty tight fit.”

“Good. I wanna fucking ruin you.”

“Oh god,” you groaned, “can I please put something inside me? Two fingers?”

“Just one,” he instructed.

You whined when you pushed one finger in and it wasn’t nearly enough to satiate your needs. “I need more, please…”

“Okay baby, just one more but go slow, I like when you get desperate.”

After a few quiet moments where you could only hear his breathing and your own needy moans, curiosity got the better of you. “Are you stroking your cock, Mike?” you asked softly.

“Yes,” he answered, the little strain in his voice making you confident he was telling the truth.

“How does it feel?”

“Good,” came another hasty reply.

“It would feel so much better if it was my pussy, if I was riding you right now.”

“I’d be so fucking deep in you,” he groaned tensely. “That’s where I wanna come, too… wanna fill you up right inside that snug little cunt.”

“Oh fuck,” you whispered. “Please, daddy…”

“What was that? I can’t hear you,” he taunted.

“I— I said ‘please… daddy,’” you repeated, afraid it would turn him off but he let out a dark chuckle that ended with a groan and a hissing breath in through his teeth.

“Fuck, that’s hot. Is that what you need, sweetheart? Need daddy to take care of you?”

“Yes, please, need you…”

“Don’t worry honey, I will, just keep fucking yourself with your fingers, and don’t come until I say so.”

You whined but didn’t dare disobey, moaning with each touch to your sensitive bud, not holding any sound back so he could hear how needy you were loud and clear.

“Please, I need to come, wanna come for you, Mike,” you begged when you were starting to worry you couldn’t hold back much longer.

“I know, but not yet… almost.”

“Please, daddy” you sobbed, weak and almost a whisper, making him grunt a little.

“Just say my name when you come, honey, and don’t stop rubbing that little clit until you’re absolutely sure you can’t take any more.”

“Fuck, Mike,” you hissed. “Oh god, I’m gonna— fuck, daddy, I’m gonna come so hard for you.”

“Good, just like that, baby, keep going,” he egged you on.

“Mike!” you yelped, shocks reverberating through your body as your back arched up off the bed. His moans encouraged you further, echoing in your ears and somehow making everything more intense. It was easy like this to imagine that he was on top of you, moaning in your ear as he filled you with his cock; your walls clenched around nothing, begging to be stretched around something, as you felt a gush of warmth seep from your entrance.

Like he’d told you to, you kept going past the peak until your hands gave out, until your body was numb with pins and needles from the intensity of your pleasure.

“Oh my god,” you sighed, “that was… I haven’t come that hard in so long.”

“You sound incredible when you come, baby,” he cooed, “think you can do it again before I finish?”

“I’m too sensitive, it’ll hurt,” you whined.

“Give it a minute, then,” he chuckled. “Did you make a mess, honey?”

“Um, a little,” you giggled. “I’m so wet it’s dripping onto the sheets now.”

“Fuck, wish I could help you clean that up,” he purred, laughing at your little gasp. “Would you like that?”

“Yeah, I bet you’d be good at it… you’re good with your tongue so far.”

“And you?”

“Me? Well, I bet no matter how big you are, I could take you all the way down my throat.”

“Fuck, honey, you’re so dirty, huh?”

“Yeah, and I really like sucking cock…” you added coyly. “Would you let me get on my knees and taste you, daddy?”

“Whenever you wanted, sweetheart, fuck… I’m close, keep going honey, you’re so fucking good.”

“Please come for me, oh my god, please come,” you moaned, “I want you to come— please daddy?”

“I will, baby, I’m gonna come… fuck, I’m so close.”

“I wish I could help you, daddy, I wish you were fucking me so hard right now, using me, making me your toy.”

“Yeah baby, you just wanna be owned, huh? Wanna be daddy’s little slut?”

“Yours, fuck, wanna be all yours.”

“That’s it, keep talking— m’gonna come.”

“Yes, daddy, stroke that cock for me, close your eyes and imagine I’m there with you, begging for your come… I want it all in me, daddy, I want it leaking out of me all night, please please please come, please come inside me—”

“Fuck!” he yelped, moaning louder than ever.

“Yes, keep going, fuck, you sound so hot,” you encouraged, “give me all that fucking come, daddy.”

A throaty, exhausted groan preceded a sigh as he began to catch his breath, making you smile pridefully.

“Shit,” he hissed, “I have to clean this up all by myself, huh?”

“Yeah, that’s the less fun part,” you sighed.

“You’re good,” he offered, voice still breathy as he panted a little bit. “Thanks, that really… that helped.”

“Feeling a little better, daddy?”

“God, don’t say it like that,” he groaned, “you’re just gonna get me goin’ again.”

“Maybe that’s what I want.”

“What you want is to take all my money by keeping me on the phone all night,” he chuckled.

“Okay, I’ll let you go,” you relented. “I bet you’re gonna sleep well tonight.”

“Better than I have in months,” he agreed.

"Will you call me again sometime?"

A little pause made you worried he wouldn’t. "Maybe we could meet up instead?" he offered hesitantly.

"Different price than talking on the phone…" you warned him.

"Yeah, I know, that's fine," he dismissed. “We’ll work that out later. But maybe you could come to my motel room?”

“I can do that,” you grinned. “You talk a big game, I’m looking forward to finding out if you can live up to my expectations.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you’re gonna regret saying that. You won’t be able to walk when I’m done with you.”

You laughed a little, clenching your thighs together. “Promises, promises…”

#mike weiss x reader #mike weiss smut #mike weiss x y/n #mike weiss x you

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whosscruffylooking · 3 years

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The Purest Things- Repeating History

Aaron Hotchner x Female Reader

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: Brief mentions of murder and alcohol. Canon typical violence.

A/N: this takes place during season 3 episode 11, birthright. i had a lot of fun studying this episode and making it my own. i have changed certain dialogue and who says what for the sake of the story. please enjoy!

The Purest Things Masterlist

(my gif! please credit if you use.)

january 2008

Syd Moore said, “Disregard for the past will never do us any good. Without it we cannot know truly who we are.”

+++++

Your alarm is often hushed before it even has an opportunity to set off nowadays because you usually wake up before it even has the chance.

4:25 A.M.

You groan and toss your pillow over your face. Maybe, just maybe, you can will yourself to sleep for a little longer. As if someone heard your pleas for slumber, your phone starts buzzing on your bedside table. Of course, it is unnecessary for you even to read the messages. There is a case.

+++++

"Last night in Fredericksburg, a 20-year-old woman, Molly McCarthy, was abducted," J.J. begins, "She's the third to go missing in the last 6 weeks. All disappeared from public places. No one's seen them since until now. A couple days ago, body parts with cigarette burns were recovered from a national park that was once the site of the battle of Chancellorsville."

"Were they able to make an I.D.?" you and Hotch ask simultaneously. Your eyes meet, but he breaks the contact abruptly. Flustered and insecure, you bury your focus deep into the file in front of you. The group discusses the case for a couple of minutes, but you are so concentrated on the papers that you hardly absorb any information they've shared.

There is something familiar about this case to you. Suddenly, realization strikes.

Rejoining the discussions, you say, "I remember reading about a case like this in Spotsylvania county. Similar markings on the bone. It was the winter of 1980, also in Fredericksburg. There were 5 women aged 16 to 24. They were buried in pieces."

"Same markings. Same civil war battlefield," J.J. responds in agreement.

The team agrees that this could be the works of the same killer. There are aspects of the more recent killings that would be impossible to copycat since those details had never been released to the public. But, if this is the same unsub, what's he been doing for the past 27 years?

+++++

Hotch focuses on the road while you watch out the window of the passenger seat. Occasionally, you sneak the odd peek at him. His stoicism is alluring, and you find yourself drawn to this demeanor like a moth to a flame. Piecing together the tiny glimpses you've collected thus far as if working on a mental puzzle, you scrutinize his attributes. His eyes bare the beginnings of crow's feet. Only his sideburns tease the speckling of salt and pepper undertones. His lips turn downwards at the corners, no doubt from years of scowling at unsubs.

Reid speaks up from behind you both and breaks your train of thought. Probably for the better, there's no reason why you should examine your unit chief so intently.

"It's funny--he always dumps the bodies in this battlefield, no matter what the risk."

"It's a respected landmark. He's flaunting," Aaron reckons.

"It makes him feel important," you say in agreement.

Once you have arrived at the crime scene, you follow Agent Hotchner closely. Reid trails ahead, most likely trying to keep up with his own train of thought.

"How does someone not see or hear them?" You ask the sheriff.

He turns to you with a defeated expression, "It was dark. He had the advantage. Molly's boyfriend was the last person to see her. He said she was alone for a minute, maybe less."

Hotch surveys the surroundings, "He's patient and works fast."

"He's perfected his M.O.," Reid states while looking around.

You cross your arms as a wave of unease gets the best of you as you envision the moments leading to Molly's attack.

"If our unsub's pushing 60, he's gotta be strong enough to carry her a long way without her struggling," you bring out.

Hotch looks to you with a concerned squint. You shake your head, signaling to him that it's nothing you can't get under control. He nods in response. The sheriff agrees to point out the various entrances to the park.

"I'll catch up with you," your Unit Chief states. He motions for you to step aside with him, and you comply.

"You know, ever since my wife and I had our son, I dread receiving cases involving children," he discloses to you.

Tears well up in your eyes, "I can't even imagine, but sir, why are you telling me this?"

"This job will inevitably strike close to home on some cases more than others. It's okay for you to feel overwhelmed by it all every once and a while," he assures you.

"You never lose it, though."

He sighs heavily, "Maybe I should have."

Shortly before you joined the BAU, Hotch's wife Haley left with their son Jack. You never ask questions or stick your nose where it doesn't belong. It isn't your place, and you can't blame him for not wanting to bring his family struggles to work. He deals with enough broken families on the job as it is. Mixing his own personal life into the field would only make it more challenging to prioritize. Despite all this, you cannot help but wonder what exactly led to his and his wife's separation. You hope that they can find their way back to each other. The crimes you investigate do not need to claim the Hotchner's as victims as well.

+++++

"I'll let you talk to Chrissy Wilkenson," Hotch directs you towards the kitchen. You wipe your sweaty palms against the fabric of your pants and make your way into the kitchen, Hotch following closely behind you.

"Mrs. Wilkenson," you say gently, "My name is Y/F/N. I have just a few questions about your husband. Where does Charlie usually go when he's stressed?"

"The barn," she stutters. You can tell she's anxious and afraid for the well-being of her family.

"Anywhere else, Chrissy?"

Hotch is called into the other room, and you continue questioning Chrissy. She's becoming overwhelmed, so you guide her to the dining room.

"I know this is difficult, Chrissy."

"Did the father of my child really do that to those poor women?" She cradles her baby bump.

Your heart breaks for her, and you choose to remain silent. Sometimes saying nothing speaks louder than words.

Footsteps bound throughout the house, and Hotch appears in the doorway, "The sheriff will stay here with Mrs. Wilkenson. We need you with us."

Standing up from your chair, you place your hand atop Chrissy's, "History doesn't have to repeat itself." It is almost as if she could tell you were reading her thoughts. The endless whispers that cloud her mind making her feel like she's left with only one choice, but there's always another option. That is all you are trying to remind her of.

+++++

As you and your team trek through the forest, you see a clearing.

"Hotch, this way," you beckon him to pursue your course.

Suddenly, a gunshot rings out, and you stop in your tracks. You make eye contact with Hotch and mirror each other's actions, dashing towards the opening in the trees. Your heart pounds in rhythm with your footsteps colliding against the ground. It is clear to you from your exchange with Chrissy at the house that the origin of the gunshot will shock everyone but yourself. As you reach the clearing and rush down the hill, your speculation is validated.

Chrissy Wilkenson is standing over the body of her husband, the unsub. A traumatized young man haunted by his father's past and plagued by the idea that children are trapped in the endless cycles created by their parents.

I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Jesus. Now is not the time for that.

The newly widowed woman claims self-defense, yet the cops handcuff her anyways. Inside, you feel conflicted while watching her get into the back of the squad car.

Hotch appears by your side but remains silent. Again, sometimes silence speaks louder than words. You bit your lip, attempting to hide the fact that it is trembling.

"What did you say to her as you were leaving the dining room?"

"I told her that history does not have to repeat itself. I wanted her to know that even when it feels like you are backed into a corner, there is always another way out. Sometimes people don't know where to look for their out thought," you quiver.

He lightly touches your arm and gives you a reassuring tilt of the head, "Just know that you did everything you could. We will never do this job perfectly. Doing the right thing usually costs more than it pays. You did your part. I'm not a saint, and I am far from a hero, but I have integrity and honor, and I do this job to the best of my ability."

"If you can leave a case with a clear conscience," he continues, "you know you did the best you could. Any other thought process will eat away at you slowly but surely, and ultimately, it will result in the demise of your career and destruction of yourself."

+++++

After a seemingly neverending day, you all arrive back at Quantico.

"I could really go for a drink, guys. What do you say? Newbie's buying," you wave your wallet around frivolously.

"I could go for 5 drinks!" Prentiss exclaims.

"Count me in," Morgan winks at you. He never fails to make you blush.

Reid hesitates and you pout your bottom lip, "Please Reid! How could you not want a repeat of Dolly Parton night last month?"

Hotch comes down the stairs, "Dolly Parton night? Do I want to know?"

You and Derek snicker to each other as Spencer attempts to diffuse his own embarassment.

"9 to 5 is an iconic female anthem that certainly has a rather bewitching affect on a man when mixed with alcohol."

"You only drank Diet Coke that night," you roll your eyes at him.

Out of the corner of your eye, you notice Hotch forcing his way through the small group formed around the desks.

Making your way over to him, you invite him to join, "Want a beer?" You second guess yourself, but it seems as though his rather stern expression softens ever so slightly when he pivots on his heels to look at you.

"I would like that," he answers softly.

He immediately returns to his original path and hovers near the glass doors. You casually make your way over to him, joined by Dave and Emily. A man barges in through the glass doors announcing Aaron's name.

"Agent Hotchner?"

"Yes," the subject in question breaths out almost defeatedly.

The yellow package he holds in his hands is all too familiar and instantly churns your stomach into knots. You gnaw at your bottom lip, drawing a metallic taste that causes you to cringe.

"What is it?" Emily speaks up.

There's no question as to what it is. Oh Hotch. I’m so sorry.

Hotch's eyes trace the package from corner to corner in disbelief, "Haley's filing for divorce. I've been served."

When he eventually takes his eyes off of the lettering, his eyes meet yours. They lock onto you and it is in that moment that you feel as though you have been given the key to unlock his soul. His eyes are so unusual at this moment; they are more vulnerable than you have ever seen. The stoic man is gone, and instead, it is the eyes of one who is in tremendous pain. You had mistaken his bloodshot eyes for physical fatigue on the plane, but now you see that it is emotional exhaustion as well.

If only you knew how badly I want to hug you and tell you that you won't be swallowed up by this darkness. There's a long road ahead, but you have so many people here who love you and are here to support you through this. You aren't alone. Trust me, I know.

In some way, you pray that he can read into your soul and see the pain you feel for him. Once more, your shared silence proves to speak for itself.

At last, he breaks eye contact with you and finally releases the breath that you had been holding in. Dave grabs onto your arm, seeing the clear impact Hotch's news has on you, no doubt having also noticed Hotch's immediate response in looking at you.

"I'm sorry, but I don't think I can join you tonight," he excuses himself and escapes to the seclusion of his office.

Maybe history does have a way of repeating itself.

Tag List:

@chellybear98 @destiny-tsukino @wanniiieeee @sweetiecake180 @vampiracontessa @weexinling @spaghetti-dad187 @hothskies @star-stuff-in-the-cosmos @mac99martin @clairedragonessbaker @cecemariee7302 @halloweenwithreid @megans-txmblr @theoldestguard @purpledragonturtles @chazubagi @frogrrylovebot @agentaaronhotass @obsssedwithjustaboutanything @mcntsee @ssagube @softhetixx @kenzies-mr-j @peachyotps @cat11-2 @prettylittlemoonlight @ravenmoore14 @gubs-boobs @spencerreidsoulmate @joyclubie

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teledild0nix · 3 years

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Fic Writer Questions! (you can find me here on AO3 if you're interested!)

tagged by dear @theburialofstrawberries mwah!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

112 yowza!

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

750,421 kinda tempted to go delete one word so it can be 750420 which is a far more Pleasing number

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

12ish but some of them overlap: BBCS/Sherlock Holmes/ACD (these are all different bc my bbcs fics are not the same as my own modern fem Sherlock Holmes adaptation are not the same as my ACD Holmes fic; Good Omens; Harry Potter/The Werewolf Draco Malfoy Cinematic Universe; Captive Prince; The Hobbit; Fleabag (it was a crossover with BBCS but Fleabag is the perspective character so it still counts as a separate fandom imo); Doctor Who; The Office; Parks and Rec; Broad City (one a piece for those last 5 but I AM going to write a Parks and Rec polycule fic for @gaykagome)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They're all Good Omens fics from the 2019 Summer of Good Omens! Susceptible to Summer, Fragments Shored Against My Ruin, Something So Magic, Enter Serpent, and Anything We Like

All of those have over 2k except the last one, but average engagement for me is like 400 kudos or so

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try! It depends on what's going on with me. Sometimes I just don't have the energy, and I figure people would rather I spend my brain power on writing new fics than on writing replies to comments. Wish I had a fave button tho so I could let people know I read and reread comments, because I do!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh I wrote this ficlet series called A Chemical Defect about John and Sherlock's relationship in s3 of BBCS, and it's WILDLY unpopular. People don't read my fic to cry sad tears I guess! John and Sherlock are having an affair in the story, and it ends with the implication that their relationship is unsustainable and that Mary knows about it anyway. I intended to come back to it after s4 and write a more optimistic ending but LOL! Didn't have the heart.

7) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

I know this answer is kinda up my own ass, but like. I think stories that feel true to life sort of feel like they end on a beginning if you know what I mean? You don't really consider a chapter of your life closed until you look back on it from the next? SO that said, I think I'd have to say that it's my big BBCS serial The Only One in the World. I spent 2 years writing it, and it ends with John retiring from medicine to solve crimes and write books full time.

Could also be my WDMCU (werewolf Draco Malfoy cinematic universe) series Moonrise, which starts with Draco isolated in his abusive mother's house, trying to cope with lycanthropy essentially alone and ends with him in love and surrounded by found family in a cozy cottage in Hogsmeade, having gotten some lycanthrope rights legislation passed after working at it for years and talking to Harry about whether they want to have kids. Oh man I feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about it

8) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written one crossover. It's BBCS/Fleabag, because me and @loudest-subtext-in-tv were laughing about how John seems like one of the horrible guys Fleabag sleeps with basically out of self loathing, so I wrote this fic to make Nattie laugh, and you should read it bc it's so good and so underrated.

9) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really, but people don't seem to know that authors can read bookmark tags unless you private the bookmark, and someone once put in the bookmark tag on one of my fics 'writing was meh but it was okay.' Okay so why bookmark it then??

10) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Fuck yes! I'm not sure what 'what kind?' means? People fucking? Sloppy, silly, and awkward, with lots of laughing. I also really like writing afterglow scenes which are even sillier and gigglier and often involve one character cooking for another. Food as love language is a very distinct pattern of mine tbh

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of, but occasionally I'll write a post on here where I make some elaborate head canon, and I'll see people in the tags talking about how they want to write fic of it, and it makes me breathe fire out of my nose like a dragon like PLEASE DON'T. The WDMCU came out of a ficlet post I made on here like a year before I actually wrote the 60k series so like!!! Please don't do that!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! To Russian and I believe Chinese. Not my entire oeuvre but a handful of BBCS and Good Omens fics

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but I wrote a fic inspired by an RP I did with my gf right around when we met (actually now that I think about it, it's two fics), and I waaaaaaanna do a WDMCU collab with my beloved Sally @clytemenestras at some point if he has time bc he inspired me to even write werewolf draco with his original lesbian werewolf story

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

favorites are hard for me? I always think I'm currently doing my best writing lol so I'll say drarry

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I don't post fics unless theyre finished, so I don't have any WIP up on AO3, but I did intend to continue with my fem Sherlock Holmes series, Your Many Tendencies. I just haven't been in a Holmes mood for a long time. Maybe I'll come back to it idk. This particular series is honestly very unpopular? People will just straight up say they don't read femslash, and it hurts a lot. This series feels really personal too, bc it's about a Black autistic nonbinary lesbian, so it does hurt my feelings that no one seems to care, yknow? I mean the people who read it are extremely kind and thoughtful in their engagement with it, but it has vastly less engagement than my m/m fic, and that's painful. It gets literally 1/10 the attention my fics usually get.

16) What are your writing strengths?

Almost all of my writing is romance, but I tend to write concurrently about recovery and found family, and I think I'm very good at doing that in a way that connects with my audience. I once had someone ask if they could use my words in their wedding vows, and I've had people tell me they started doing things with their spouse that my characters do with their partners in order to express love. I think about that all the time. My Impact. It makes me feel like I have a real duty to my audience yknow?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

This question is hard for me like I've been writing so long and so much that I'm literally always happy with my final draft! It's always exactly to my taste, yknow? I suppose I could say that my fics tend not to be terribly plotty but so WHAT? That's beside the fuckn point for me. Plot who? I don't know Her. Also honestly like. Stories feel more True to me when they aren't ruthlessly devoted to plot bc like life isn't like that yknow?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

If you're not fluent in that language, get a beta who is!!!!! That said, I have written scraps of very simple dialogue in French using mostly Google Translate (sometimes I check w Sally bc he speaks French but I am usually too impatient), and I am perfectly well aware that I take my life in my hands each time!!! Also don't do that bullshit thing where it's in italics? That shit is weird and exoticizing. Just write it in quotation marks like normal dialogue.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

BBCS babey back in 2012. Ended a 5 year dry spell for me after I got my writing degree.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Hmmmm I think it's probably gonna be the fic I'm working on now that I haven't posted yet, but I know it's called Names for a House, and here's a tiny bit of it

Thanks again Shreya for asking me to do this bc I really love talking about myself. I tag @the-moon-loves-the-sea, @clytemenestras, @tomiano, @gaykagome and @totallysilvergirl

No pressure <3

#sherlock stuff #ask games #apliddell #if y'all wanna send me asks about names for a house #or anything else i mentioned here #they would be welcome

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xaori · 3 years

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fic writer review

I wasn't going to do this until tomorrow, but I couldn't wait. The fantastic @defaultjane asked me to answer, so here I am. I won't tag any particular writer, I'll just forward her invitation to do it if you feel like it ❤

1. How many works do you have on ao3? Eleven. Now ask me how many I have on Ffnet lol It's fifteen.

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

624573 words. Not bad for someone who started writing chapters no longer than 2K hahaha

3. How many fandoms have you written for?

Officially, just one: Resident Evil. But I used to write some The Legend of Zelda/Pokémon Crossover stories (including self inserts) when I didn't even know that fanfiction was a thing. Thankfully you will never get to read that lol

4. Top 5 fics by kudos?

Family Portrait

Just Friends

Merry Un-Christmas

Inside, Outside

A Third Chance So happy this one made it on the list, too hahaha

5. Do you respond to comments?

Always! There was just one comment I never replied to and it came from a troll. I will be forgiven. I also used to respond to replies to my own comments, but I'm getting pretty lazy lately LOL

6. A fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending: That's a hard one. My fics always have flowery happy endings. I guess the one with the angstiest ending so far is Secrets.

7. Do you write crossovers?

No Crossovers since the TLOZ/Pokémon thing, I swear ✋🏻

8. Ever received hate on a fic?

Not sure if I would call it hate or braindeath, but I received very creative troll comments on Family Portrait chapter 22. They even wrote a scene about me being raped by Wesker and Chris and posted it in the comment section. I was so proud lol

9. Do you write smut?

Yes. Fluff and smut is basically all I write.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes! Drake Oskars stole Inside, Outside and published it on Amazon. He even copied the A/N with all the messages to my readers. Thanks to all the people who helped get this shit removed. I seriously hope nobody ever paid for reading it LMAO

11. Ever had a fic translated?

Sadly no, but I've been asked very often to translate my fics into Spanish 😊

12. Have you ever co-written a fic?

I have many helping hands, but no co-author :)

13. All time fav ship?

I'm almost sad to say that my favorite ship doesn't involve my favorite character, Claire Redfield, but I'm sure that my all time fav ship is Valenfield ❤

14. WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

The only valid reason for me to leave a fic unfinished forever is death.

But there are some sequels I promised to write and which will probably never see daylight.

15. Writing strengths?

My fabulous beta says that my writing improves when it's smut. I believe him lol My strength is smut.

16. Writing weaknesses?

Everything but smut? Lol. Dialogue, probably. I hate when people have to talk.

17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I did that a couple of times myself. I'm not against it as long as there's no important content locked in a foreign language. I'm the kind who goes to Google Translate whenever there's something I don't understand anyway, but it shouldn't be a message of importance.

18. First fandom you wrote for?

I mentioned the Zelda/Pokémon thing, right?

Resident Evil!

19. What’s your fav fic you’ve written so far?

Too much, never enough. It probably needs a rewrite, but it's a super solid idea I'm ridiculously proud of and it NEVER got enough love.

#xaori writes stuff #xaori always forgets to tag

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