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#i'm abt to overshare real hard now but i rly need to know if i'm overreacting bc i feel like i'm losing my mind here
shawcl · 3 years
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#i'm abt to overshare real hard now but i rly need to know if i'm overreacting bc i feel like i'm losing my mind here#everything in the tags bc ppl are weird on here#so a couple of months ago one of my friends made a racist joke in the groupchat not outright malicious but more like mocking the whole blm#movement in a way whatever it bothered me so i called him out which lead to this HUGE discussion abt racism and me trying to explain things#to them but them being unwilling to listen (white fragility hello) and it basically was like 3 people against 1 while the other 5 ppl in the#chat chose to be ignore this whole thing which made it feel like 8 against 1 but yeah#it basically ended with them telling me i'm overreacting and blowing things out of proposition and THEN one of them CONTINUING DOING one of#the things i told him not to which was like a huge fuck u in my face tbh#it's probably hard to judge the situation when u can’t read the exact chat but long story short i was full on anxious for like a whole week#afterwards and stopped talking to them (or most of them) since and the more time goes by the more i'm overthinking once again as i'm prone#to do combined with the fact that i'm kinda really lonely since those were my 'main' group of friends and wondering if i rly overreacted#my mum surely thinks i did but her opinions are kinda shit so it doesn’t count#idk what to dooooooo#but it'd be also lowkey weird to come back after like idk how many months like hi#and frankly none of those ppl i had the discussion with reached out to me afterwards despite knowing how bothered i am by all of this#(i mean i straight up ghosted them) so idk. don’t rly feel like real friends u kno#i've been friends with them for give or take 10 years and to make things worse i'm related to 2 of them ha#anyhow#the more i think abt it the more i think that it's rly hard to see the big picture as an outsider since even more things come into play than#what the things i described here but. i'm rambling now djdjdkdk AAAAAAH what a year i hate it#i'd probably be talking for an hour if i listed everything in detail#feel free to send me anons on this but i won’t publish them i think#i'll probably delete this in 5 mins anyway bc anxiety
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