#i'm DONE with pretending something i'm not
Note
can i formally request something? (i have no idea if you take smut requests so please ignore me if not😭) a barty x reader smut where everyone already thinks they’re together so they’re like 🤔?? maybe they’re onto something
and maybe if they try to tell people (read regulus) they’re just like -_-¿ this is new
and well done on your exams!! i’m sure you aced them
hahaha omg this is so Barty and reader coded fr. thanks for your request (I hope I did it justice)
Barty Crouch Jr x afab fem!reader who has sex for the first sodding time, Evan
CW: smut - like straight up porn people, p in v intercourse, pussy slapping cuz apparently I'm a freak, soft choking, a slap in the face if you squint, 18+
This conversation had been going on for so long that you were truly fighting the urge to throw your head back and let out a guttural scream out of pure frustration.
But Barty never fought his urges.
“For fuck’s sake!” He screeched. “How many sodding times do you need me to say it: we - are - not - to - geth - er!” He shouted at Evan, emphasising each syllable with a stomp of his foot.
Evan smirked and shared a look with Dorcas before rolling his eyes.
“Sure. And what exactly is this?” He asked, gesturing with his book at your tangled forms.
Okay, so maybe you and Barty were physically affectionate with each other - but that didn’t mean anything.
“What?” Barty asked simply.
“The way you’re sitting, Junior.” Dorcas drawled in a bored tone.
You both looked at each other like you were only just now realising your proximity to each other.
You were positioned on the cushion of the sofa between Barty’s thighs with his arms wrapped around you and his hands weaselled under your shirt and tucked under your breasts.
What?
It was for warmth; he has terrible circulation, you know.
“We always sit like this.” You replied.
Evan scoffed. “You always sit like you’re one sneeze away from having his dick slip inside of you?”
“Okay, you know what?” Barty said, slipping his hands out from your shirt and patting your thighs to say ‘get up’, and standing up behind you. “I didn’t come here to be spoken to like this, least of all by someone who has his head shoved so far up his arse that he could check for tonsillitis.”
Evan shut his book he’d been pretending to read up until that point causing Barty to screech and shout at you to ‘save yourself’ as the two of you took off in the direction of his dorm room.
You were laughing and breathless by the time you made it into Barty’s room and he shut the door behind you, casting a locking charm for good measure should Evan come looking for retribution for the slander.
“Honestly, I think they’re just jealous.” You said breathlessly.
Barty nodded as he sucked in a few deep breaths himself. “I mean, it’s kind of sad he’s never had a best friend that he felt so comfortable with, you know?”
“Exactly!”
“And I don’t know why everyone has to make it so sexual. Do you have great tits? Sure. But that’s not why I put my hands on them!”
“Of course.” You agreed readily. “And I mean, are we two of the hottest people to walk these fucking halls? Of course we are -”
“Absolutely.”
“- but that doesn’t mean we’re shagging!”
“Right!” Barty said with finality as he finally sat down on the chair at his desk. “I don’t know why they have to make everything so weird.”
“Me either.” You groaned as you fell backwards onto Barty’s bed and stared up at the green velvet bed curtains draped over the four poster bed. “They’re probably just jealous.” You repeated. “I mean, we would make a really hot couple; I’d want to be with us too.”
“You know, that’s exactly what I was just thinking.” Barty agreed quickly. “And if we were having sex, they’d bloody know it. It would be hot.”
“Gods, it really would be, wouldn't it?”
“Without a doubt; I’m great in bed, and you’re great at everything.” Barty said simply, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“You know what.” You said as you sat up to face Barty. “It would be hot. Great sex comes from trust-”
“Check.”
“- communication,”
“Check.”
“Familiarity,”
“Duh.”
“Confidence.”
“Obviously.”
“We’d be sodding lucky to be shagging each other!” You proclaimed.
“I agree!” He responded.
You both stared at each other; breathing slightly laboured having gotten yourselves so worked up pleading your cases (to no one, seeing as you were both clearly on the same page).
“Huh.” Barty said finally, giving your body a once over. “You know, maybe it is weird we haven’t fucked before.”
“Yeah.”
Your eyes met his green ones that held an intensity you’d not seen from him before.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you wanna fuck?”
“Yeah.”
And like a flip had been switched, the two of you were launching yourselves at each other.
No time was spent savouring touches or testing waters. It was all teeth clashing, tongues dancing, heavy breathing, and tearing each other’s clothes off.
It felt somehow both forbidden and oh so right.
You’d truly never thought about Barty like this; you really were just that comfortable with one another.
But as you pulled his shirt over his head and started fussing with his belt, a fire roared to life inside you screaming we should have been doing this the whole bloody time.
You nearly tripped over the waistband of your trousers as Barty backed the two of you towards his bed where he sat on the edge.
You broke apart for air as he moved his sinful mouth down the expanse of your torso and took to marking up your breasts.
“Salazar they’re even better like this.” He murmured to himself before taking one of your nipples in his mouth whilst he pinched the other.
You ran your finger through his hair, an action you'd done many times before, but never like this.
You pulled at it roughly and brought his lips back to yours as you pushed him to lay back on his bed so you could straddle him.
“Merlin, Y/N. No foreplay?” He chuckled breathlessly as you gave his cock a few strokes and whispered a lubrication charm.
“Next time.” You sighed as you lined him up with your entrance and slowly sank down onto his cock, causing the two of you to moan in unison.
“Next time, huh?” Barty teased as he smoothed his hands up and down your sides, allowing the two of you to adjust to the feeling of one another before you experimentally rolled your hips.
“What? Don’t you want to fuck me, Junior?” You taunted right back.
Barty thrusted his hips up roughly into yours, causing you to cry out and place your hands on his shoulders to stabilise yourself. “I think it’s very obvious I want to fuck you.”
“Yeah?” You whispered, bringing your mouth back to his and biting gently on his bottom lip.
“Yeah.”
You breathed a laugh out through your nose before you bit down harder.
“Then fuck me.”
And before you could tell which way was up, Barty had flipped the two of you over so he now hovered over top of you and had his hand wrapped around your neck.
“You want to be fucked, doll?” He groaned as he hooked one of your legs around his hip allowing himself that much deeper in you.
If there was one thing you could thank the fucked up breeding habits of Purebloods for, it was apparently the size of their cocks.
“You want me to ruin you?” He continued as he added more pressure to your throat, still grinding into your now sopping cunt. “Make sure no other wizard is ever good enough for you?”
Your entire body felt like it was on fire; the feeling when you’re sitting on the poolside in the sun after a swim; the beads of water only make the sun’s rays feel that much warmer against your skin.
“Oi.” He demanded, giving your cheek a chastising tap. “You gonna be good for me?” He asked more seriously this time.
His beautiful green eyes were nearly fully eclipsed by his pupils as he continued moving in and out of you with what you realised now was a very controlled pace. But you were eager to see where he’d go from here.
“I’ll be good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me.” He ordered.
“I’ll be good.”
“What was that?”
“I’ll be good, Barty.” You whined, pulling at his arms in an attempt to bring him closer.
“Who are you going to be good for?”
“You.”
“Yeah?”
You hummed in agreement as he hiked up your other leg and wrapped it around his hip.
“Tell me.”
“I’ll be good for you! Promise. I’ll be so good for you, please.”
Barty chuckled and let out a taunting cooing sound as he fell to his elbows and brought his face to yours.
“There’s no need to beg, sweets.”
And just like that, he was pulling away from you again.
Suddenly, his hands were on your hips and he lifted them into the air, holding them there as he began slamming into you.
“Gonna be so fucking good for me, aren’t you angel?” He grunted.
You scrunched your eyes shut at the feeling of his throbbing cock pounding into you; adjusting his angle every few thrusts in search of something.
“I bet you’re a fucking screamer, huh? You always got so much to say babygirl; don’t go quiet on me now.”
His fingers dug further into the fat of your hips as he adjusted his grip on you, causing you to let out an embarrassing keening sound.
Apparently that was close, but not quite what Barty had been looking for.
“Close. How about we try…”
And he pulled out of you completely before landing a hard smack against your pussy, forcing a surprised scream to tear from your throat.
“There’s the pretty sounds I was looking for.” He celebrated, rubbing placating circles on your clit before repositioning himself and sinking back into you. “Think you can keep that up for me, Princess?”
“Yes!” You cried quickly, grabbing helplessly at the bedding as he once again lifted your hips up into the air, finding that sweet spot inside you that he’d been in search of before his interruption.
He knew he found his mark when you let out another strangled sob.
“Alright pretty girl, there we go, huh? Does that feel good?”
You were babbling affirmatives nonsensically as he groaned at the sensation of your walls clenching around him; yesses and pleases spilling from your lips.
“Fuck you feel so good.”
“Please Barty.” You cried, reaching a hand up to his wrist.
He let your hips fall to the bed as he brought one thumb to your clit and his other hand took yours in his.
“What is it, princess? Hm?”
“Please.” You whined, and it sounded pathetic even in your own ears in your current state.
But Barty only tsked and pulled two of your fingers into his mouth which he began to suck.
You could feel the tension building in your core as he quickened his pace with his thumb and his hips before letting your fingers go with a pop.
“I’ll take care of your princess, you know that. When have I ever let you down?”
Never.
“Never.”
He smiled triumphantly down at you; and though his mouth was cocky, his eyes were sincere.
“Exactly. I’m not about to start now, yeah?”
And suddenly his thumb was gone from your clit, your ankles were thrown over his shoulders and he was leaning his weight against the backs of your thighs as he began thrusting into you with an air of desperation.
“Atta girl; so good, huh? S’good.” He grunted as his thrusts became somewhat sloppy. “S’fuckin’ good for me. Perfect for me, aren’t you?”
“Yes! Yes, yes, yes.” You chanted with each thrust of his hips. “Please, oh gods, please, please Barty.”
“I know, I know.” He grunted, clearly as close to teetering over some sort of edge as you were. “I know, I feel it. You’re alright, yeah? Go on, sweets; I’ve got you.”
And his hands were holding onto your thighs for dear life and he was kissing at your knee like even that silly little part of you was something worthy of worship, and he did have you and he never let you down and he wasn’t going to start now and you saw stars as you finally fell over the edge.
The room fell quiet as Barty locked his lips on yours, and you realised you’d been screaming.
His hips stuttered as he thrust into you once, twice, three times more before he followed you over the edge; letting your legs fall from his shoulders as he fell to his elbows on top of you and the two of you fought to catch your breath.
In complete contrast to the Barty who was only moments ago pounding mercilessly into you, he started placing, slow, lingering, gentle kisses over your face as his thumbs rubbed idly at your temples.
He pressed a kiss to your neck, your jaw, the tip of your nose, over your eyelids, your forehead, your ear.
You knew Barty could have a soft side, but you never imagined it so tender.
“I knew you’d be a screamer.” He whispered, breaking you out of the serene moment and surprising a bark of laughter from you, which caused both of you to groan in discomfort before Barty slowly pulled out of you.
“Stay here, princess.” He instructed as he walked away from the bed and returned a few moments later with a warm cloth and one of his (read: your favourite of his) t-shirts.
You watched him carefully as he cleaned you up - and once again, what probably should have felt awkward or embarrassing felt nothing but natural as he doted on you.
“Can you sit up?” He asked; not one hint of condescension in his tone as he held the neckhole of his shirt open for you to slip your head into.
As it poked through, he pressed a kiss to your lips before helping to thread your arms in.
“Is it safe to assume we’ll be doing that again?” You asked with a smirk, causing him to scoff dramatically.
“We’ll be doing that the rest of our lives if I have anything to say about it.”
After a shower and a change into comfies, the two of you returned to the common room, and though Dorcas was long gone, Evan could be found where the two of you had left him, now in the company of Regulus.
“Well boys.” Barty sang dramatically as he swung his legs over the back of the sofa and landed on the seat with a bounce. “We just fucked.”
You rolled your eyes at his blatant goading as you sat beside him.
“Yeah? And I had potions today; so what?” Regulus muttered without looking up from his novel.
“What do you mean so what? This was the first time!” Barty argued.
“This is new.” You insisted severely.
“You know, I always knew Barty was a liar; but I expected better from you, Y/N.”
Your mouth dropped open as Regulus and Evan stood up and walked away from the seating area.
What you didn’t see as they walked towards the Slytherin dungeons was Regulus passing Evan five Galleons for their bet on who could convince the two of you to finally get over your “just friends” bit.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#barty#barty crouch jr#barty crouch junior#slytherin skittles#the slytherin skittles#smut#barty crouch jr imagine#barty cr#barty crouch jr x reader#Barty Crouch jr x#barty crouch jr x you#barty crouch jr smut#barty crouch jr drabble#barty crouch jr headcanons#barty gate#if you give the fans a barty#they’re going to ask for smut#ellecdc fics
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we can't be friends - l.mh
genre: idol!minho x reader, lovers to exes to lovers
tw: angst, hurt, breaking up, erasing of memories (almost) , mutual pining, did i mention angst, reader is kinda depressed, like two kisses ig
status: delivered !
word count: 4.0k
author's note: aaaa omd it's finally done >< reblogs + likes are appreciated!!
lee minho. your muse, your life, your heart.
he broke your heart one stormy sunday night and you hated him as you watched him leave with tears in both of your eyes.
granted, he did break your heart for your own good, to save you from the dangers of being with him. but you didn't care, not when he was your universe, your world. you would gladly take a bullet for him.
just as he would take a bullet for you.
minho knew leaving would break you, just as much as it would break him, but he needed to do it. life as an idol was already dangerous enough with all the death threats and saesangs, but the moment 'fans' caught even the slightest whiff of you they would hunt you down and hurt you, and minho simply couldn't let that happen. he knew you wouldn't care about all the danger as long as you were with him, but he did. minho would never forgive himself if something happened to you all because he had given in to his innermost wants and kept you by his side.
so he left.
november 8th, 2019, 8.46 pm.
"i want to break up." he said, one sunday night. the rain was pouring outside, flashes of thunder and lightning ringing through the sky occasionally. in the quiet and comfort of your shared apartment, with the dim glow of lamps illuminating your features, in that moment, for a split second, minho wanted to stay. he wanted to pretend everything was alright, to have you stay by his side and be happy together, but he knew he shouldn't. the two of you were eating dinner, sitting at the small round dining table in your kitchen tucking into your homemade kimchi stew. god, he would miss your kimchi stew, he thought miserably.
"what?" your world felt like it had stopped, your hand frozen in place as you slowly tilted your head to look at your boyfriend sitting across from you.
"i... want to break up." he repeated robotically.
"minho, where is this coming from? did i do something wrong? please... just talk to me," you begged, panic starting to flood your mind as tears threatened to spill over. you couldn't believe what he had just said. the both of you had been perfectly fine before, the both of you were happy, why was he doing this? were you not good enough for him? did he fall in love with someone else? the thought alone made you weak.
"i just... it's for the best. i'm putting you in danger every day, fans will hurt you if they find out i'm with you. i can't let that happen."
"i don't care if they try to hurt me, minho. as long as i'm with you, it’s- " you reached for his hand, and could feel your heart finally sinking to the bottom as you saw his face, screwed into an expression of hurt and resignation as he shook his head.
"just... don't forget me in the future, okay?" before you could say anything, minho was already out of his seat, grabbing his coat and his phone, already reaching for the front door.
"wait! minho-" you jumped out of your seat in alarm and desperation, clinging to his arm as he looked back at you with a pained expression.
"please- we can work this out, just don't leave me," you pleaded, tears already cascading down your face. you must've looked a pathetic mess in that moment, sniffling and sobbing, yet minho still thought you were the most beautiful person to ever exist as he memorised your face for one last time.
finally, minho turned around, cupping your face in his hands. your hands reached up to hold his, as he memorised your every detail for the last time. minho's lips found their way to your forehead, then the corner of your eyes, then your lips as he kissed you tenderly for the last time as you sobbed in his arms.
"i'm sorry." he whispered, before pushing you back as you cried out and stumbled backwards, opening the door, walking out of the apartment and out of your life.
december 25th, 2019, 11.28 pm.
your diary.
i still think of you, you know. i still see your face in the windows of that cafe shop we used to go to whenever i pass by. i know you're not in there, and i'm hallucinating. i can't go in there anymore, not without thinking of you. i can't even watch the television anymore without having to see your face. listened to your new comeback. that song was about me, wasn't it?
it's christmas now. i adopted some presents for you. you would love them, the three cats. i named them soongie, doongie, and dori. quite fitting, they're playful like you. they'll never meet their father. i still wore your hoodie, the green one i always wore every christmas. you used to wear my red hoodie, but i guess you won't be here to wear it anymore. it still smells like you.
i still wonder why you left. was such a pathetic excuse as me potentially being hurt the only reason why you would leave me? you knew i didn't care if i was hurt, so long as i was with you. you still left. i hate you for that, but deep down i could never hate you. i still love you.
january 7th, 2020, 2.35 pm.
you strolled down the busy streets of seoul, a long oversized fluffy coat resting on your shoulders and your nose pink from the cold. a sigh of relief escaped your lips when you finally stepped foot into the cozy ambience of a random cafe alongside the road, the warm air blowing gently at you helping to relieve the coldness settling into your bones. ordering a latte and a small cake which were promptly delivered to your table, you settled down to scroll through the news.
new technology developed, scientists say new machinery can effectively target and erase memories of specific people and objects. is now being offered at multiple mental health clinics nationwide at a low cost, guaranteed 90% success rate. for sign-ups and further information, please contact...
you raised your eyebrows at the news, marvelling slightly at how advanced technology seemed to be developing at this rate. thinking nothing of it, you simply continued scrolling.
january 7th, 2020, 12.02 pm.
you sighed as you flopped onto your bed, tired from a day of work and countless emails sent. feeling a warm, soft head poke it's way under your arm, you smiled softly, hand reaching out to scratch doongie's head as he meowed in content. smiling softly, you felt two large lumps jump onto your bed and settle on you, soongie choosing to settle on your feet and dori choosing to burrow his way under you arm as you giggled.
"soongie, you're so heavy," you laughing light-heartedly as your oldest cat let out a 'meow' of indignation at your words.
minho would love the cats so much...
your smile drooped, feeling that warm familiar sensation pricking at your eyes again.
god, how stupid. it had been two months already and you were still hung up on him. everywhere you went, you saw his face, on advertisments at the bus stop, billboards in the shopping districts, to even advertisments on youtube, and every single time your old memories with minho would surface and you would miss him again.
memories...
oh. the news of the memory erasure experiment.
would it hurt to try? you tried imagining forgetting minho. for him to just be another face on the billboard, a random k-pop idol to you. to forget you had ever even loved him and forget that he ever loved you. the pain would be gone. your heart would no longer ache each day, you would no longer think of him and he would no longer cloud your mind.
picking up your phone, your finger hovered above the 'call' button.
"hello? this is the seoul medical psychiatry clinic speaking. how may i help you?"
"i..." you paused, gnawing at your bottom lip.
"i would like to make an appointment."
january 19th, 2020, 1.28 pm.
"welcome! do you have a booked appointment?" the receptionist greeted cheerfully as you stepped into the reception and seating area of the clinic, a large box full of items in your hands. the hallways were filled with posters and quotes, the beanbags and seats painted in warm and soothing colours.
"yes, doctor kim at 1.35pm." you answered, watching as the receptionist typed a few words into her computer.
"ah yes, under the name yoon y/n, right?" she clicked her tongue, "for... memory erasure?" she glanced at you with a look full of sympathy, as if you were some lost wounded puppy.
"yes." you confirmed, lips pursing together slightly as you stared down at the box.
"good, and you've got your box of items already. do double check to make sure they are linked to that specific person only, we wouldn't want any erasure of other memories woth different people."
you swallowed the lump in your throat.
"yeah, i have."
"great, we'll be calling for you later, the doctor will run you through the procedure and then the operation will commence. take a seat first," she gestured to the seating area. not long after, you heard your name.
"yoon y/n?"
you hurriedly stood up, making your way towards the nurse and following her into the operation room. the operation room was white and cold, lacking any warmth and colour, filled with odd looking machinery and lab coats and tools. you were sat down on a chair, and your box of items given to the nurse who began taking them out one by one while another nurse attached a few wires to your skin to a machine on the right which measured your heart rate, a steady thump-thump-thump. the first nurse began to place your items in a row, scanning each one under a machine.
beep.
minho's green hoodie.
beep.
the snow globe the both of you had bought together at a winter festival.
beep.
polariods of you and him.
beep.
a cat plushie you had gifted him in celebration of his lastest comeback before he had left.
beep.
matching mugs the two of you had bought.
minho. everything, everywhere, everyone reminded you of minho. it felt like you were drowning, consumed by him.
"alright, i'll be placing the device on your head. the device will take you through individual memories of the person, but you will have to re-experience certain bigger core memories again as those take a longer time to process. if at any point should you feel distressed or want to stop, please press the red button beside you, and should you want to restore your memories we will reload them back into your brain. however, if you choose not to restore the memories, we will automatically delete them after 30 days." the doctor explained, showing you a strange contraption with two pulse points connecting to either side of your temple.
beside you, the heart rate measured by the machine started beeping faster.
you nodded.
the cold, tingly terminals of the device connected with either side of your temples, the unfamiliar feeling odd and alienating.
then all turned black.
"min! look, they have matching mugs! we should get them," you pointed excitedly to two mugs at a stall in a summer fair you and minho had just happened to pass by. you watched as your old self pointed to the mugs happily, "the world's best boyfriend" and "the world's best girlfriend" written on each mug respectively. "that's so cheesy," minho said, a grin on his face as he pulled you close to him by your waist. well, the old minho in your memories. it felt like a punch in the gut yet the cure to your pain as you stared at his face again in your re-lived memory, his oh-so-familar grin plastered on his stupidly handsome face. "yeah, but it's cute!" you exclaimed, turning to face minho. "pleaseeee," you begged, lips downturned in a pout and your eyes shining hopefully as you tugged on his arm. "fine," minho groans, eventually giving in into your request, feigning annoyace by rolling his eyes yet still smiling at your delighted expression.
god, you missed him so much.
the memory shifted, warping into another blurry picture.
this time, it was another memory that faded in, a memory of you and him sitting in the living room unwrapping your christmas presents. minho tore open his box eagerly, laughing as he held up a green hoodie from his favorite brand gifted to him by you, coupled with some other things like perfume and a brand new wallet. "oops... might've gifted you an accidental matching hoodie by accident," he smiled sheepishly, as you opened your present, some jewelry with . "a red hoodie! now we can match," you snickered, pulling the soft hoodie over your head and slipping it on. "hey, we look like the christmas colours!" you laughed, pouncing on him and tackling him down to make him wear his one as he whined in protest. eventually you did managed to get him to put it on and pose for some pictures, albeit him being disgruntled but still giving in to you anyways.
a tear trickled down your face, landing on your lap as your hands on the chair tightened, gripping the armrests so hard your knuckles started turning white.
the memory started to fade away.
"min! the new comeback was so good, i watched the music video just now," you exclaimed, bounding up to him the moment he opened the front door to your shared apartment. "thanks baby," he smiled, leaning in for a quick peck but suddenly finding a soft plushie being thrust into his hands. it was a plush of a brown and white striped cat, soft to the touch and extremely squishable. "what's this for?" he raised eyebrow, cocking his head in confusion as he stared at you. "it's to celebrate your comeback, I figured i'd give you something to cuddle when i'm not around you," you smiled, "i named the cat mr sprinkles." "who names a plush toy mr sprinkles?" minho laughs, watching as you huff at him about how the name was cute and he was being mean. "thank you though, i appreciate it," he kissed you softly, smiling at the small act of love.
no, stop-
you started to whimper and thrash around.
fade to black again.
"min, look," minho turned to you as you were admiring the ornaments at a booth, the both of you coming across a christmas market and deciding to explore it. "it's a snow globe of us," you pointed out to a small snow globe, with a man and women as figurines in the center of the snow globe and fake snow swirling in the water around them. "it does look like us, doesn't it?" he hummed, pressing a soft kiss into your hair as you subconsciously leaned into him. "we should get it," he suggested, smiling at how your eyes lit up and how you pressed a kiss to his cheek. the two of you purchased the item, and then bought some hot chocolate to sip on to relieve the cold setting into your bones. "jagi-ah," minho called, prompting you to look up at him before gasping in surprise. the first snow of the season. "you know, they say the person you witness the first snow with will be with you for a long, long time." minho grinned, leaning down to kiss you tenderly before intertwining your hands.
you didn't want to forget him, you realized, as you gasped for air, heartbeat skyrocketing as you tried to open your mouth to scream. no, you would never want to forget minho. you would rather cling onto those memories and deal with the pain forever than never having remembered him.
the memory faded.
you gasped in surprise as you ripped open the box, holding up a brand-new, shiny polariod camera wrapped in a gift box, its paper shreds used to cushion the camera hapazardly strewn about the floor. minho watched you with a small smile on his face, eyes sparkling as he happily obliged to any pose you wanted to do with him, groaning half-heartedly but still laughing at the silly faces you made.
the memory started to fade again.
"STOP!" your finger found the red button, desperately pressing it in an attempt to get the machine to start working. all of a sudden, you were jolted back into your consciousness in the middle of the white sterile room again, heaving and gasping for air as you tried to adjust back to the surroundings.
"are you okay? do you need to stop the operation?" the nurse asked, a concerned look on her face. beside you, the machine was beeping, a erratic rhythm.
beep. beep. beep. beep.
your hand reached up to fiddle with your necklace, looking left and right. you swallowed, a lump in your throat.
"yes."
----------
you stumbled out the clinic, hands clutching onto the box of items tightly as your eyes adjusted to the bright light of the sun.
hands shaking, you pulled out your phone.
'my love,' the contact at the top of the screen read. you hadn't called him in months, ever since he had broken up with you. you has tried for a few weeks, but day after day of missed calls was heartbreaking.
you pressed the button.
one ring.
two rings.
three rings.
four rings...
"hello?"
a voice you hadn't heard for months. a voice you had only been hearing in your dreams.
"minho-" a strangled sob left your lips.
"please." you could only force out a choked plea, tears falling rapidly, stumbling onto a nearby bench. people started at you as they walked by, a woman breaking down in a random street in seoul oddly disconcerting.
"where are you? i'll come get you." the moment you heard the concern laced in his voice, your eyes brimmed with more unshed tears, stifling a sob that threatened to escape. in the background, you could hear the sound of things being knocked over, presumably minho rushing to get to you.
you told him your location in between shaky breaths, occasional hiccups interrupting your sentence.
"just wait for me, ok? don't move anywhere," minho firmly instructed, voice soft and calming.
a few minutes passed, and he was nowhere to be found.
he would hate you for this, you realized. you didn't deserve him. he tried so hard to keep you safe, and how did you repay him? by almost erasing all memories of him. the thought of it just broke your heart even more, for if he knew what you had tried to do he would never want to have anything to do with you again.
"y/n!" you heard a voice yell, whipping around only to see minho running to you at full speed. you had never been more glad to see him, your knees instantly buckling as you collapsed into his arms, crying into the crook of his neck as you clutched onto him like a lifeline.
you didn't think you would ever get used to this feeling, you thought. his touch, warmth, his gentle strokes of your hair and whispered sweet nothings were like music to your ears, his hand coming up to rest on your back and his other coming up to gently stroke your hair as he swayed you back and forth. he had clearly just ran from dance practice, you realized, slightly sweaty and panting ever so slightly.
"what's wrong, jagi?" he murmured, soft brown eyes searching your own red and teary ones.
"i- i didn't want to remember you because it was too painful, and then i tried to erase my memories of you, but i realized i didn't want to and i really, really, really fucking miss you and it hurts-" your rambling was cut off by a hiccup, lips quivering as you stared back into his eyes.
here comes the part where he realizes your a disgusting bitch and hates you forever, you thought miserably.
"shh, it's ok," minho pulled you closer, engulfing you in his warmth as his hand rose up to cup your cheek.
what?
he was supposed to hate you, not do... this. you literally tried to erase all memories of him, he should be angry and offended, so why...?
nonetheless, you would take what you could get in what you assumed to be your last moments with him, so instead you leaned into his touch, memorising his every detail again. his soft brown eyes framed with delicate lashes, sharp nose and jawline, the pink rosy tint to his cheeks as the winter wind whipped around you.
"i'm sorry," you begged, "just don't hate me."
"i never did, silly." minho laughed softly, a wistful smile gracing his lips.
"but you left me." you said, confused.
"i left you because i loved you. it was just for your own safety, i didn't care about anything else," minho explained, brows furrowing slightly.
oh.
minho stumbled backwards as you crashed into him with a force, nearly knocking him over as you crashed your lips onto his, hands threading through his soft silky hair and teeth knocking against his. it was a heated, messy kiss, teeth clashing and tears streaming down your face, yet minho didn't seem to mind as he deepened the kiss with a fervour, all seeming to pour out of him, pain and regret, relief and want. it is only when you seperate with a gasping breath of air that you finally see his swollen, reddened lips.
“i’ll figure something out, i’ll talk to the company, make a statement or something- i won’t let anyone get to you, i promise,” he rambled, a giddy smile on his face. right now, minho could care less about the repercussions, even if he had to move mountains just to be by your side and keep you safe at the same time.
you giggled, an infectious laugh bubbling out of you. the both of you, crying in the middle of a street, hands intertwined and both a mess, yet you had never been happier with the person you truly loved.
“we'll be alright now.” you whispered. it wasn’t just a statement but a promise, one to keep forever.
december 25th, 2020, 1.43 pm.
“min! come look!” you squealed in delight, eyes lighting up when you were finally done. minho glanced over, and sure enough, you were up to mischief again, the three cats dressed in ugly christmas sweaters with cartoonish designs on them and matching hats on their heads. doongie let out a ‘meow’ of indignation, protesting as minho roared with laughter to scoop him and his fellow cats up. laughter bubbling out of your lips, you quickly grabbed your phone to take a picture of minho and the three cats, his face lighting up in amusement as he watched them try to squirm out of his grasp.
“i love you, you know that?” minho says that night, the two of you cuddled up on the couch with the cats, watching your favourite seasonal christmas movies together and snacking on popcorn.
“i don’t say it enough, partly because i’m not good at expressing myself, but i love you. your smile and personality and everything. just thought you should know.” the tips of his ears are red as he mumbles, scratching the back of his neck sheepishly.
you smile, a red tint blossoming across your cheeks as you lean in to kiss him softly.
“i love you too min.”
how did you ever get so lucky? you think, leaning in to rest your head on minho’s shoulder as you resumed watching the movie, one hand absentmindedly scratching dori’s head as he purrs in contentment. here, in the dim light of the cozy apartment with minho, love heavy in the air around you two and christmas lights twinkling merrily, you think you have everything you have ever wanted in life.
after all, it didn't really matter where you were, as long as minho was by your side.
taglist: @starseungs @missmajdastark @jazziwritesthings @layviyu @lailac13 @ana-marais98 @foxinthewild @dandelions-143 @rylea08 @linocz @minseongsworld @realrintaro @kkamismon12 @felinows @baribaaari
#angst#stray kids#fluff#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#lee know x reader#lee minho x reader#skz minho#lee minho#skz#skz imagines#skz angst#sk#skz au#skz scenarios#str#stray kids imagines#stra#stray kids fanfic#st#minho#skz x#skz x you#stray kids x
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Chimney: Why do you look like someone kicked your puppy?
Eddie: Buck forgot my birthday
Chimney: Your birthday isn't until tomorrow
Eddie: Yeah, but Buck usually does something every day of the week on my birthday week
Chimney: And this year he hasn't done anything? I didn't think you were a big birthday person
Eddie: I didn't either. I always went all out for Chris' birthday because that made more sense but I guess Buck's just spoiled me
Chimney: Why not just ask him if he's forgot your birthday?
Eddie: Because that will be weird and make me look desperate.
Chimney: Okay, new plan. Ghost him.
Eddie: How am I supposed to do that? We live together.
Chimney: Hey, I'm just throwing ideas out there. Have you considered the possibility that he's breaking up with you?
Edie: I HADN'T UNTIL NOW!
***ELSEWHERE BUCK AND BOBBY***
Buck: I'm going to ask Eddie to marry me tomorrow on his birthday
Bobby: And you're asking for my permission?
Buck: Why would I do that? You're supposed to be MY dad, not his!
Bobby, laughing: Okay, possessive much. So how are you going to do it?
Buck: I'm gonna take him to dinner and then ask him.
Bobby: Really?
Buck: Why did you say it like that?
Bobby: I just always imagined your proposal will be a bit more... out there
Buck: Like what? You thought I would pretend to kidnap Eddie, and get him to a remote location and propose? Or did you think I would send a fake mugger after mug Eddie and then jump out of a helicopter, save the day, and propose? OR did you think I would pretend to die and then "miraculously" come back to life and propose?
Bobby: I hadn't considered any of those a possibility. Because why would I? I just thought you would whisk Eddie away on a romantic getaway and then propose. You know? Something normal that doesn't lead to him kicking your butt and dumping you instead?
#eddie diaz#chimney han#evan buckley#bobby nash#buddie#911 abc#incorrect quotes#incorrect 911 quotes
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RYB
#wordstag#notwordswordstag#yttd#why so primary colored……….#me in my Romanian flag cosplay what a (guy I know irl ) reference.#ddid i ever tell u about how I love anzu . I love anzu. Jsut like me fr and such.#this time I'm really gonna draw something .#The like . The peaks of the hair. They're different. Don't look at that though pretend I didn't say anyrhing#hher shoes were supposed 2 be rollerskates but guess who lost the ref. This guy#absolutely heinous. What's a man to do. (mhm yeah. That's what I thought. Nothing. Nothing to do about this.)#smug guy picture. Guess hownmuch I got done todsy (<- there's a comically large pile of NOTHING ! on my dessj in the backgihhnd)
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Whiplash (2)
Pairing: Felix x Reader x Hyunjin
Genre: Street Racing, Gang, Friends to Lovers
Word Count: 4k
Taglist: @sheala--marie @kayleefriedchicken @chartrucewhore @cookiesnmilfx
Part One |
“I'm never drinking again.” You groan, rubbing your head, squeezing your eyes shut as you try to sooth your throbbing head. The only thing you remembered about last night was dancing with that guy and then everything goes blank. You take a deep breath in and out before your eyes shoot open. You sniff harder, smelling something delicious, wondering who was in your apartment. And then it hit you, you weren't even home. You looked around, recognizing Hyunjin's room immediately. You crawl out of his bed, your feet shuffling out the door and down the hallway, towards the delicious smell. As you get closer you can hear Felix and Hyunjin talking.
“Food always gets her up. Just wait.” Felix laughed. He knew you so well.
“This smells so good.” You groan, sitting down at the island as you watch the two make pancakes, bacon and eggs.
“I told you.” Felix says, glancing at Hyunjin.
“Good morning.” Hyunjin says, smiling at you as he slides a plate in front of you.
“Morning.” You smile, picking up your fork, ready to dig in. But you couldn't. You looked up at the two men, who were staring at you smirking.
“Do I have something on my face?” you ask, wiping your face off. Neither of them reply, they just keep cooking, glancing at you and smirking.
You take a few bites of your food, trying to ignore those two but flashes of last night keep playing in your head.
“Did I.. “ you pause. “Did I do something last night?” You ask.
Hyunjin and Felix look at each other and then back at you. “Okay, what!?” You yell.
“Maybe I need to get off too.. cause of you two!” Felix says, his voice deep, his eyes on you.
“The things I wanna do to the two of you are not platonic.” Hyunjin says.
Your fork drops as you gasp. Your hands cover your mouth as you stare at them both, your eyes wide. The memories come flooding back to you like a tidal wave and you want to actually fucking die.
“That.. I, um. Wow. Okay so I was drunk. Like really drunk. My sincerest apologies. I'm gonna go.” You mumble. You slip out of the chair quicker than you realized, slipping on your shoes and grabbing your purse and heading out the door. You could not believe you had said all that. you were gonna be embarrassed for the rest of your life. Once you had walked a couple blocks you called a cab so you could properly grieve and call Seulgi so she could talk you off the ledge.
“You said what!?” She gasps.
“Yeah.. drunk me has no sense of boundaries apparently.” You sigh.
“So what are you gonna do?” She asks.
“I'm going to handle it like a mature adult.” You declare. “And pretend it never happened.” You can hear Selgui sigh on the other end of the phone.
Once you're home, you collapse in your bed, closing your eyes while your brain replays the things you said to Hyunjin and Felix the night before. Drunk you really liked to speak your sober thoughts apparently. As embarrassed as you were, you were feeling more anxious than anything. Based on their reactions this morning you knew your friendship wasn't ruined with them, but you couldn't help but feel guilty for saying those things. What if you had made them uncomfortable? What if they started distancing themselves from you? You were a ball of stress and you weren't sure how, or if you could make things better.
You spent the rest of the day in bed, ignoring any phone call and text that made your phone ring. You just wanted to wallow in your self pity for a little bit longer before facing anyone. Part of you knew it wasn't a very big deal, but the other part was mad because you had done so well to keep yourself in a platonic place with them. Finally a few hours later, and after you couldn't stand listening to the beeps and ringing of your phone anymore, you looked at it. All the messages from Felix and Hyunjin, not to mention the phone calls from them as well as from Chan, Changbin and Han begging you to come over for homemade pizza night. you decided to text Han back, letting him know that you'll be right there. You didn't wait for a reply, not that you needed to, but you got dressed and headed over to face the music.
Walking into the house, it's unusually quiet. Where were those rowdy boys? All you could hear was the low humming that was coming from the kitchen. You followed the sound, finding Felix in the kitchen, rolling out dough.
“Hey.” You smile, sitting at the island that you left in a rush only a few hours before.
“Hey you.” He grins, looking up for a second before focusing back on his dough. “The others had to run out for a bit, but we'll let the dough rise and then make the pizzas.” He tells you. You nod your head, feeling too nervous to say anything.
“Can I get you a cocktail?” He asks.
“Oh god, please.” You smile. You knew you shouldn't, but what more could you say to him? Felix quickly whips you up something delicious and you drink it far too quickly.
“Good thing I made extra.” He chuckles, filling your cup again. This time you sip on it as he works on more dough. “What's up? Why do you seem all weird?” He asks.
“What?” You question. You were acting weird, you were quiet and distant.
“Is it because of last night?” He asks, not looking up at you.
“Yeah.” You sigh. “I don't want things to be weird with the three of us.”
“Why would things be weird?” He asks, now looking at you.
“Because of what.. I, you know, said.” You mutter. Felix laughs.
“Maybe I want you to use me non platonically.” He smirks, looking up at you.
Your stomach drops. You stare at him, your mouth hanging open. “I'm.. what?” You ask. But before Felix can reply, you both hear the front door open. You turn your head to look at the entryway, and in walks Hyunjin with a smile plastered on his face.
“There's my girl.” He says, grabbing your chin. “What's going on?” He asks, looking between your shocked face and Felix.
“I think I'm dreaming.” You say, turning back to look at Felix who continues to smirk at you. You pinch your cheek, just to see, but you're not. This is real life.
“Pizza!” You can hear Changbin yell, as the rest of the boys come into the kitchen. They all hug you before standing around the island, Felix giving everyone their dough, and placing all the topping options, cheese and sauce in the middle. The rest of the night you could barely focus, Felix's words replaying in your head.
“Maybe I want you to use me non platonically.”
Was he interested in you? Was he joking? You wanted to ask him, but you didn't want to do it in front of everyone, so you left it. Later that night, as you were trying to sleep in your bed, you fell asleep to the thought of using him non platonically.
Over the next few days, you didn't see much of anyone. They said they had a lot of things going on, and you didn't question it. Sometimes they were very suspicious but you figured they were just being guys. With nothing to do, you made plans with Seulgi and a few other friends for a girls night. But of course, the night that you had plans was the night that the guys wanted to do something.
“How?” You laugh at one of the girls. “How do you manage to score four dudes in one singular night?” You ask. “I can barely get one.”
Everyone at the table laughs at your comment to Lisa. This is what you needed, a fun night out with some girls, and a guy named Mike who had tagged along. It was a good way to get your mind off of things. You took a shot from one of the bottles on the table, beginning to feel tipsy as you eat a little bit of food. You look at Seulgi who is looking at you with a weird look on her face.
“What?” You ask. Her eyes dart over to the left, you look over and see Felix and Hyunjin sitting at a table with two girls you didn't recognize. Your heart sank as you stared at the girls smiling while they're talking. You glance over at the boys, but they don't look like they're enjoying themselves as much as the girls are.
They must have felt your stare, or maybe you stared for too long, but they looked over, directly at you, and seemed shocked to see you. You gave them a slight smile and wave before turning back to your other friends. You tried to ignore them, but you could feel their eyes burning into the side of your head as you spoke, your group drunkenly trying to figure out what to do after dinner.
“Do you guys wanna go to the club?” Mike asks, looking at you. You shrug your shoulders. “I wouldn't say no to dancing there.” You smile, glancing at Felix and Hyunjin, who are now walking over to you.
“Are you guys going to the club?” Hyunjin asks, looking at you. You nod your head, your heart beating quicker. They could do nothing and your heart flutters with butterflies in your stomach.
“We'll see you there.” Felix smiles, walking out of the restaurant with the two girls and Hyunjin. You shake your head, trying to get the thought of them out of your head.
The moment you get to the club, you, Seulgi and Mike head straight for the bar. The three of you take a few shots before heading out to the dance floor, leaving Mike to sit there. You always loved dancing with girlfriends, because you never had to worry about unwanted touching. The two of you danced by yourself for a bit, until Mike decided to join you, and for some reason he had decided he wanted to dance with you. His hands grabbed your hips to pull you in close to him, but you really didn't want to. Seugli had disappeared on you, leaving you to fight him off on your own. He turns you around to face him, his hands roaming your body. You push him away, but he grabs your wrist, holding it tightly.
“I just wanna dance with you.” Mike grits through his teeth. You can see the anger bubbling up through his body.
“I don't want to dance with you. I'm sorry.” You say, trying to free your wrist from his grip.
“One dance. That's all I want. You can't tease me and then not give me what I want.” He scoffs.
“Excuse me?” You yell, pulling your wrist from his grip. “I never fucking teased you. I said no, so fucking listen.” You turn to walk away from him but he grabs you again, holding you even tighter, trying to pull you off the dance floor. You fight him with all you had but he just holds on tighter, pulling you away. Until you halt, you look up and see Hyunjin standing in front of Mike, he's angry. Your wrist is released, Felix now holding onto Mike's hand, twisting his wrist hard, causing Mike to fall to his knees.
“Don't you know what no means?” Felix asks, his voice scary as he glares at Mike. You turn and run to Hyunjin, he wraps his arms around you as he continues to stare at Mike. Felix leans down, whispering into Mike's ear. “You touch her again, I'll fucking kill you. Got it?”
Luckily you don't hear him as you nuzzle into Hyunjin's chest. Until you realize that they had dates, and they needed to get back to them. You felt guilty, it seemed like you were always getting into situations that they needed to save you from and that wasn't fair. You backed away from Hyunjin, looking sad and guilty.
“You guys have dates. They're probably looking for you.” You say, looking up at them both. “Thank you for helping me, and I'm sorry you have to keep saving me.” You whisper.
Felix and Hyunjin look at each other before looking back at you. “Don't apologize.” Hyunjin smiles.
“We'd go to war for you, baby.” Felix winks before he and Hyunjin leave to find the girls they were with. Finally Seulgi comes back, explaining she was waiting in the longest line for the bathroom.
“What happened!? Why are you crying?” She asks.
“Mike.” You sniffle. “He wanted to dance and I didn't. He got really aggressive.” Seulgi looks guilty as she listens to you.
“I'm so sorry.” She whispers, pulling you in for a hug.
“Luckily Hyunjin and Felix saved me.” You chuckle. “I don't know where Mike went off too.”
“Fuck Mike, he's banned from the group now.” She says. “Where did Felix and Hyunjin go?” She asks.
“I sent them back with their dates.” You say. She nods her head.
“What do you wanna do?” She asks. “Stay or go?”
“I'm gonna go. But you stay. Honestly, I just need some air. I'm gonna walk home. I promise I'll be fine. I'll call you when I'm home.” You say, giving a slight smile. She hugs you tightly, and watches you walk out of the club.
You really didn't want to call a cab but you did. You weren't dumb, you knew something bad could happen if you walked. You didn't want to bother any of the boys. You stood outside the club, waiting for your cab and you were annoyed, you felt like you only attracted men who didn't have good intentions and you didn't know why. You just wanted someone.. maybe two men who loved you with everything they had, like you felt for them. Honestly you just wanted Hyunjin and Felix and you didn't know how much longer you could fight off these feelings. It felt like they were bubbling up to your chest now and it was only a matter of them before they made your head explode.
You paid your fare and headed inside your apartment. You turned on your shower to the hottest that you could handle to scrub off the feeling of Mike's hands on your body. You couldn't help thinking about what could have happened to you had Felix and Hyunjin not been there for you. As you finish in the shower, you come out and check your phone seeing an email you'd been waiting for. A few weeks ago you had interviewed for a receptionist job at an elite law office. You nervously opened the email, screaming and dropping your phone in excitement as you jumped around your room. You got the job and you were so happy to not be living off of your savings anymore. You pick up your phone, reading the rest of the email, seeing you still had a few days before you were starting, you were so happy you completely forgot about what had happened that night. You fell asleep quickly, feeling like everything was going to be okay.
The next morning you woke up, in a great mood and ready for the day. You looked at your phone, seeing a message from Felix.
[9:58am From Felix] Morning, Can I take you to lunch today? I need to talk to you.
A knot immediately formed in your stomach. This was going to be bad. He's going to end the friendship or something. He was probably tired of you and your shit. You didn't want to go, but you needed to know. Your anxiety wouldn't let you not know and you wouldn't be able to function.
[10:09am To Felix] That doesn't sound good. Let me know when and where.
[10:11am From Felix] Same restaurant as last night. Meet you there at 11:30am]
You don't reply. You can't. You can feel the lump in your throat getting bigger. You tried your best to get ready, to make yourself look decent but you were on the verge of tears and you couldn't control it. The thought of losing one of your best friends was devastating.
You sit at the table, your fingers interlaced as you wait for Felix. Your head is down as you try to breathe through the anxiety. You hear the door open, your head shoots up and you see Felix and Hyunjin walk in. There are no smiles, no happy greetings and you knew this was going to be bad. The two men sit down, across from you, staring at you.
“Did you order?” Felix asks, looking at the menu.
“I can't eat right now.” You whisper. Fuck. Your tears were going to start spilling right away.
“Neither can I.” He sighs, closing the menu. “Look, the reason I asked you to lunch and that Hyunjin joined too is that we really need to talk to you about something.” He says.
The tears fall as you look at them. They're now staring at you confused.
“Why are you crying?” Hyunjin asks, reaching over to wipe your tears.
“I don't want to lose you guys.” You cry. They look at each other before looking back at you.
“Why are you losing us?” Felix asks.
“Isn't that what this is? You're ending the friendship?” You ask.
Felix laughs. “I guess in a sense.” He says. He reaches over and grabs your hands. “This isn't about ending anything. More so taking it to the next level.”
You stare at him. “next level? Like ultimate best friends?’ you ask.
They both laugh, and then stone faces as they take a deep breath. “I'm falling in love with you.” Felix admits.
“What?” You whisper.
“And I'm falling in love with you.” Hyunjin admits. “And we don't know what to do.”
“We don't want to ruin things if you don't feel the same but neither of us could hold it in any longer.” Felix says.
Suddenly the tears flow, you take your hands back to cover your face as you sob. Neither of them say a word as you cry. Until Felix's phone rings.
“Yeah Chan?” He answers. “Fuck. Now? Shit okay, we're on our way.” He says. He looks at Hyunjin who immediately knows what's going on.
“We gotta go. But we're having a party tonight. Please come and we can talk.” Felix tells you as they both stand up and walk out the door.
You're in shock. That's not at all how you thought that conversation was going to go.
They are both falling in love with you. And you're already in love with them both. What do you do? Do you choose one and leave one heartbroken, while also leaving yourself heartbroken. Did you date both? Could you date both? Would they be okay with that? You stand up and head home, your mind swirling with thoughts on what to do. You couldn't believe it.
Later that night you got yourself ready for the party, you were very confident on what you were going to do. And you hoped they didn't ask you to choose because you wouldn't be able to. You wanted to give dating both of them both a try. If the three of you put in the effort, you were sure that you guys could do it.
You walk through the door of the party, seeing the house was filled with people. Changbin and Han run up to you, engulfing you in hugs before Han demands another beer chugging rematch.
“We will, later.” You laugh. “Do you know where Felix and Hyunjin are?” You ask.
“I think in the kitchen.” He tells you, going over to say hi to someone else. You make your way to the kitchen, seeing Felix standing there talking to someone. You take a deep breath, and head straight for him. He smiles as he sees you walk up to him. You press up against his chest, sliding your hand on the back of his head, pulling his head down closer to you. He stares into your eyes as you move your face closer and closer, until your lips touch his. As soon as your lips touch, he takes control. He spins you around, pinning you against the fridge as he deepens the kiss, slipping his tongue into your mouth.
Felix breaks the kiss, stepping away from you with a grin on his face. You look past him seeing Hyunjin standing there. You motion him to come to you with your finger. He walks towards you, and you move past Felix, grabbing onto Hyunjin's collar and pulling him down. His lips touch yours and he quickly slides his tongue into your mouth, hardening the kiss.
He pulls away from you, grinning at you and Felix. You guide Hyunjin to stand next to Felix and you clear your throat as you look at both of them.
“I can't choose, and I won't choose. I'm falling hard for you both and I want you both. If you're okay with that then I'm all in, but if you're not then it won't work.” You tell them.
“I'm in.” Hyunjin smiles.
“I'm all in.” Felix says. You were so fucking happy in this moment. You kissed them both before grabbing some celebratory shots. The three of you take a few shots before you drag them both to the living room to dance. You feel as though you're in heaven, grinding your ass into Felix and Hyunjin grinds in front of you. Your happiness is short lived, as the front door busts open and in walks eight men, one of which you recognize. The music shuts off as Chan, Changbin, Jeogin, Minho, Han, Felix and Hyunjin stand in front of the intruders.
“What the hell are you doing here Hongjoong?” Chan yells. The man just laughs.
“What? You thought you could start doing illegal mods on cars and I wouldn't fucking find out?” He yells.
What was going on?
“Is business slow?” Chan asks. “Maybe if you were better at your job, you wouldn't lose so many clients.” He says, fake pouting. Hongjoong turns red as anger consumes him.
“Me and you. A race now, the winner keeps doing mods, and the loser closes up shop.” He yells. Everyone begins cheering but you feel confused. You'd heard about street racing, but you had no idea that they were involved in it. You look at Felix and Hyunjin, who look guilty.
“Y/N.” You hear from across the room. You look over and a familiar man walks over to you. You squint your eyes as he comes closer, and then it hits you. It was San. You had a mini fling with him years ago and ended on good terms and as friends.
“San! Oh my god.” You laugh, running up to him, wrapping your arms around him. “So good to see you.” You laugh, letting go of the large man. Hyunjin and Felix are on each side of you, glaring at their enemy.
“Get your hands off of her.” Felix snaps, pulling you back, and closer to him.
“We used to hook up.” San winks. You roll your eyes.
“If you can even call it that.” You laugh.
“It was good to see you, Y/N.” He says, winking at you before walking towards his group. You turn to Hyunjin and Felix, a stern look on your face.
“Street racing?” You gasp.
“Y/N.. listen.” Hyunjin starts.
“How long?” You ask. “How long have you guys been doing this shit and why didn't you tell me?”
“Since before we met.” Felix says. “It's not that we didn't want to tell you.”
“We just wanted to protect you.” Hyunjin says. “We're involved with a lot of dangerous people. We just want to keep you safe.”
“Hyunjin, Felix. Let's go.” Chan yells. The crowd disperses, heading out to wherever the race is going to be.
“Go to one of our rooms.” Felix says. “We'll be back in a bit.”
You scoff at the handsome man. “Absolutely not.” You deadpan.
“I'm coming with you.”
#lee felix#hwang hyunjin#stray kids#felix smut#hyunjin smut#stray kids smut#kpop fanfic#kpop writing#kpop scenarios#kpop imagines#skz x reader#skz imagines#skz smut#skz fanfic#skz
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Okay, but I kinda wanna talk about the panic attack conversation with new context, because here's the thing, the wording of that conversation is very on purpose. And Buck is calling Eddie out in a very specific way because what Buck is saying is actually "if you love me you're not going to do that to her" but like, everything about that conversation is crazy. Buck is checking in in a way I feel he's very entitled to considering that he gets Chris if something happens to Eddie, so if Eddie is seeing cardiologists, something might be wrong and I think Eddie gave up the right to privacy about his health when he signed his will, but like, does Buck assume the problem is the shooting because he is still anxious about it? And like, Buck is assuming things are fine with Ana, we have no reason to believe things aren't fine with Taylor, but you don't talk about a relationship you want to be in as just fine, and Buck is talking about loving someone who doesn't love him enough to be all the way in and he's talking about Abby, but is he? The will reveal was a love confession. But halfway done. It was a shield. Eddie hiding behind Chris. "My kid loves her" "Is that enough?". Is Buck saying your kid loves me. You offered him to me. What does it mean? Is that all it takes? If that's all it takes then why aren't you all the way in with me? Why does all I get is a maybe under a condition I can't live with? "Somehow we became a ready made family and I don't know if I'm ready for that" Buck has been taking care of Chris since he found out Chris existed. Someone assumed Eddie, Chris and Buck were a family months into them knowing each other. Is Buck seeing that as Eddie being scared of any type of family? Is Buck seeing that as Eddie being scared of his place in Chris' life? Does he think Eddie would freak out if it was him? That's pretty much the only situation where we see Buck seem genuinely mad at Eddie. Eddie confessed his love hiding behind his child, now he's having all these feelings about someone assuming Ana's place in their life. Is Buck feeling as rejected there because he has no way of knowing if Eddie wouldn't react like that if someone assumed that about them? Because the will is a love confession but is one that Buck can't accept. In his head that is conditional. And the price is something he will never be willing to pay. "If you don't want to hurt Ana, you owe it to her to be honest" "come on, Eddie, if you're not gonna be honest with Frank, at least be honest with me", "look, man, you don't need to pretend with me" was Buck begging for clarification? Was Buck asking if he's allowed to want this? Has Buck been daring Eddie to say it again because he doesn't know if he read what happened right since Eddie didn't mention it again and he can't risk being wrong? Is the miscommunication of this situation even deeper than we imagined? Did Eddie assume Buck rejected what he offered while Buck assumed Eddie didn't love him enough to offer everything? Does Eddie understand that while he offered everything, he put a condition to it that Buck will never take because Buck needs him too much to even consider? Does Eddie understand that he offered Buck everything he ever wanted and put it just out of his reach in a place Buck would never dare to reach for anyway, because he thinks the only way he gets there is if Eddie dies and Eddie dying means he's not actually getting everything he wanted? I wrote in a fic once "I can't ask for more of you, Eddie" "everything is already yours", but do they even realize that that's what's going on? That they are imagining obstacles that could be solved if they were just honest with each other the way they keep begging the other to be? Do they even understand that the only thing between them is the way they keep assuming things and acting on that assumption instead of just asking for clarification? "You don't need to decide right now" does Buck think that Eddie not telling him again means he made a decision already? Are they just looking at each other thinking they can't reach for it????????
Are they just trapped in the moment that gun went off watching the other fall away and helpless to do anything about it??????
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I'm putting this here and the slinking away like a stray cat leaving a dead mouse on your doorstep.
(WIP, 333 words)
----
"What are you doing up?" Link asked. He sat up in bed, rubbing at his eyes to try and get a better look around. He thought he could see a small figured curled up in the shadows, but it was too dark to be certain.
"Nothing," Mask muttered in response.
Link sighed. "Did you have a nightmare?" He reached for a nearby lamp, lighting it to fill the tent with a warm glow.
He stood up to take a step towards Mask, but promptly froze in place.
"Sprite?"
The boy in the corner wasn't his brother.
It certainly looked like Mask, but everything was off. This boy was dressed in all black. He glared at the Captain with blood red eyes. His grey face was framed with silver hair.
Link knew a dark when he saw one, but the last thing he expected was to see one in the shape of his baby brother.
"What are you doing here?" The Captain's tone was sharp now, angry with the knowledge that this threat was in his tent pretending to be someone he loved. He took a step closer, every muscle prepared to attack.
Mask—Dark Link—the creature hissed, huddling back against the corner. "I'm not doing anything, idiot!"
"Then get out of my tent before I make you," Link countered.
The thinly veiled threat must have done the trick because after a tense moment, Dark Mask warily stood up and slunk towards the tent flap.
As the creature moved past, the Captain grabbed it by an arm. He stared at it in fury, wanting to tell the being never to come back, to leave the camp and crawl back to Ganon where it belonged, but something made him pause.
The boy's skin was hot to the touch, slick with sweat. He was breathing too fast and too heavily.
He had sneezed earlier that night.
Suddenly, all Link could see was his sick little brother staring up at him, and something inside him softened.
YOU COOKED HERE
I feel like a just received a little treat /pos :3
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VH - Turn over
A menacing silhouette stepped into the prison and stared at the hero in silence. Behind the bars, the prisoner raised his shining eyes, looking very frail and helpless.
“Oh no,” he whimpered, twisting his hands. “I’ve done nothing wrong. I beg of you, Villain, I’m-”
The other cut across him, shaking his head:
“You can stop.”
“But-”
“I know who you are. You’re the hero who’s an invincible vampire, aren't you? You don’t have to pretend. I surrender.”
“Ah.”
Hero slowly grinned, showing his pointed teeth, looking a lot less helpless:
“Good.”
Villain nodded slightly and sat on the chair in front of the cell, his eyes fixed on the ground, his hands clasped in front of him. The other tapped on the bars to get his attention:
“I gotta ask, do you imprison every guy who you surrender to?”
“I know this can’t hold you for long-”
“Nope. Absolutely not.”
“-but I wanted to talk.”
Vampire Hero groaned:
“We’re not doing that. If you think I have time for listening to how amazing or blameless you are, I’d rather drink you until you collapse.”
“No, I have a question.”
“Shoot.”
Villain hesitated for a moment, then said, avoiding his gaze:
“When did you realize you were on the bad side?”
“Uh?”
“Before you switched, I mean. When did you realize you were...well, evil?”
Vampire Hero tilted his head, intrigued:
“Since the beginning? I mean, I liked to cut animals and make my whipping boy suffer when I was a toddler. That wasn’t really hard to put two and two together. I'm an asshole, not an idiot.”
“A whipping boy, you mean-”
“A literal whipping boy, yeah. Father offered me one and punished him every time I misbehaved. That was a good birthday gift, a long time ago.”
“So being a vampire hasn’t corrupted your soul or-”
“Nah. Can’t corrupt what’s already rotten.”
“I see.”
There was a moment of silence. Villain didn’t move. Vampire Hero huffed a little, his patience growing thin.
“How can you look so lost in your own prison?”
“It wasn’t like that for me.”
“Oh there we go, the monologue. Keep going, and I’ll rip off the bars of the cell and come for you next.”
“Go ahead, I won’t use it anymore.”
A bar creaked in answer. Villain didn’t look up once.
“I thought my work was for the best,” he said after a while. “I thought us with powers deserved more of society. Don’t you think so?”
“I don’t care.”
“Surely you must have. A little.”
“We’re not from the same time, remember? I had a castle and servants and human toys. Society never bothered me much.”
“It must have been nice, not having to care.”
Vampire Hero shrugged.
“I’m not sure,” he admitted. “Didn’t work out that great for me, did it?”
“I had to care. I had to cling to life every day to survive. I was nearly killed by people thinking I was a freak because I had powers.”
“It doesn’t look like they did a great job, then.”
Villain raised his head a little:
“I just wanted a place where we weren't bullied all the time, so I created my own group. As it grew, so did our ambitions-”
“Aw man, that is gonna take a while.”
Sulking, the vampire threw himself on the ground and began to fidget with the bar he had ripped off. While he bent it as easily as it was clay, Villain kept on, barely giving him a glance:
“I thought that no one listened to us, you see? So we had to make people listen.”
“Except that it doesn't make sense. Since when are powers a problem here? I don’t know much about the outside world, but even I know that heroes are adored and stuff. They have fanclubs and everything.”
“But you have to be a hero, that's the problem. If you can teleport and want to be anything else, like a baker or something, you’re shamed by society unless you hide who you are. If you’re born with powers, the hero agencies are already breathing on your neck.”
“I find this expression offensive. Look, I’ve made a noodle!”
Villain glanced at the twirled bar the vampire was playing with:
“Very nice.”
“Thank you. I used to twist any iron bar that I had in my hands. It makes so much more damage when it pops out of the body.”
Villain stared at the wall for a second and cleared his throat:
“...Anyway, we were building a community. I met my first friends and my lover there.”
“Congrats. I don’t care.”
“As with all communities, tensions grew. I wanted to take more action. I thought that protests weren’t enough.”
“Yeah, I’ve read your file. Killed a lot of humans and exploded a lot of stuff. Classic.”
“I wanted to be heard! Our group went from inefficient to dangerous, but where is the limit? Where is the perfect middle spot?”
“No idea.”
“Me neither. My husband tried to bring me back to protests, but I wouldn’t listen to him. We argued until the moment when I- when he-”
Villain turned his head away:
“I tried to keep on, but it doesn’t make sense without him. Our community is riffled with conflicts. None of it makes sense anymore. So I surrender.”
He stood up and pulled out the key of the cell from his pocket. Vampire Hero squinted at him, curious despite himself:
“So, how did you kill your husband?”
Villain looked at him, horrified:
“What? I didn’t! He left me.”
The door opened. Vampire Hero jumped on his feet and burst out of his cell, chirping:
“Let’s go!”
He passed next to Villain and went through the exit, leaving the latter staring at him:
“Are you- Aren’t you going to drink me or something-”
The hero shrugged and patted his arm, a little smile on his face:
“Eh. I’m not hungry.”
*
Vampire Hero is a recurring character. His job is to troll current villains. Check the Vampire Hero Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with him.
Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.
#hero x villain#villain and hero#hero villain community#writeblr#writers on tumblr#original fiction#my writing#writing snippet#writing dialogue#villain x hero#creative writing#vampire#heroes and villains#hero and villain#writers#writing community#original character#hero x villain community#heroes and villains community#oc#just a quick one#vampire hero#VH doesn't listen except maybe he does
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I come bearing another potential "sequel" idea. Obviously you don't have to write this. I randomly thought back to the "Sebastian with a reverse PA" story and, well...
Let's say f!MC decides she wants to return the favor, in a way. She decides to get a piercing of her own that can help stimulate them both. My mind says either a tongue piercing or a fourchette piercing, but that's completely up to you if you decide you like this idea 🤭
Anyways, she gets it and it becomes so hard not to ruin the surprise and she's holding off because it's still healing. She has to keep coming up with excuses for why they can't (too tired, have to study, etc). Both Seb and MC are sexually frustrated so by the time she feels it's healed enough, it's feral while also trying to be careful with both piercings.
(I'm just realizing how both my requests have a bit of a theme to them. Don't know what that says about me 🤣 Anyways, much love 💜)
Piercings pt3 - Sebastian Sallow X F!MC
🔥 NSFW 🔞 MDNI
My lovely cyan1de, your brain is absolutely filthy and I love it 🫶🏻. I’ve taken your inspo but I changed the piercing to something with a little less heal time for the stories sake. Hope you like it anyway 💕. Thank you as always for the requests!
Warnings: descriptions of healing piercing, please have mercy and if you get a ‘spicy’ piercing let it heal fully/follow aftercare instructions so you don’t get an infection, modern college a/u, unprotected p-in-v, oral f receiving, mattress fucking?
2k words
Things had been incredible between them. While they had no label per say, they very much went on dates, spent the night with each other and hooked up fairly regularly.
She knew his birthday was only a few weeks away and while he swore he only wanted to spend the day with her and refused gift ideas, she had a fun little idea that had manifested after a saucy conversation or two about piercings.
After talking plenty about his she’d decided to ask what he’d think if a partner were to get one. He chuckled and gave her a wild playful look, hair messy from the combination of sweat and her fingers carding through it. “Wouldn’t mind it. What? You thinking about getting one?”
She’d only shrugged playfully, pretending to mull it over. She couldn’t deny the fact that she had in fact been thinking about getting a piercing ever since their first encounter. “Well if you do decide you want one-“ he paused to wiggle his brows and glanced at her bare chest “or two…I think it would be hot. But don’t feel like you need one just because I got one.”
She’d of course done her research of healing and pain and decided her top contender was a VCH piercing. Between the benefits, healing time, and the aesthetics of it she decided that would be the piercing she got.
Her roommate had agreed to go with her and hold her hand while she got it done, all kinds of on board for her and Sebastian since she seemed to be really happy since they’d started hooking up.
Thankfully the piercing wasn’t too painful, a big pinch and a bit of soreness but nothing she couldn’t handle. Her roommate had been hysterically laughing since she’d gotten home to look at it and her first words uttered were “She’s so pretty!”.
The next day Sebastian had tried to come over between classes for a bit of midday fun. But she’d quickly made the excuse that she was really tired and needed a nap. She’d also carefully evaded going back to his after a coffee date by saying she had to do some extra studying.
Luckily she’d been able to just get away with a good blowjob for him on the couch during their movie night at his place later in the week. He’d started to get a little suspicious after about two weeks of evaded sexual encounters or only blowjobs. “You know you can talk to me right? Like if something is wrong…is something wrong?”
She quickly waved him off just saying she’s been having some hormone changes which have made her tired and have a lower libido. In all honesty she was having an incredibly hard time telling him no, but she was almost halfway through the recovery and was determined to surprise him with her new piercing. “Love, is this because of your period?” He’d said while nipping the spot just below her ear, grinding against her thigh. “You know I don’t mind a bit of blood, I’ll still take good care of her. I promise.”
She of course already knew this since they’d already had period sex and he hadn’t been deterred in the slightest. Of course he’d been all too accommodating of her surge of desires during her ovulating week though.
He whispered incredibly sweet things and treated her like a princess but they definitely were a very sexually active couple. So when his hands began to wander when she stayed the night just a few days into her third week of healing she was losing her battle.
He whispered raunchy filth into her ear, rubbing and grinding against her inner thigh and moving closer to her crotch. One intense drag against her had her wincing and her mouth falling open.
Sebastian immediately stopped, cupping her face in his palms. “What’s wrong, love? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?”
She finally broke down, just three days before his birthday she felt like it was unavoidable at this point. She flashed a shy smile, looking up at him cheekily. “So you know how I talked to you about getting a piercing right?”
Sebastian’s lust lidded eyes popped and she swore she saw them sparkle. “You didn’t.” He looked down between them as if he’d see it through her clothes. He looked back up with wide eyes. “Holy shit…what did you get pierced?”
She laughed and rolled him off of her, carefully shimmying out of her pajama shorts and spreading her legs for him. “Surprise! Happy Birthday.”
His eyes darkened and he looked up, licking his lips. “Gods I’ve missed your pussy…and now she’s all pretty for me. God you know you didn’t have to do that.”
She smiled, blushing as he looked back down in awe. “I wanted it. It wasn’t just for you, promise. What do you think?”
He licked his lips again and she practically moaned from the look on his face. “How long till it’s healed?”
She bit into her bottom lip nervously. “Healing time is 4-8 weeks and it’s been 3 weeks and 4 days.”
His eyes widened. “You got it to be healed perfectly on my birthday…” he crawled up the side of her body, holding her neck carefully in his palm and he whispered against her lips. “Naughty girl.”
He kissed her deeply, tasting her and groaning into their kiss. She could feel his arousal against her thigh and it had her moaning into his kiss. He pulled back, eyes dark and lusty. “You can’t make those sounds, not when I still need to let that pretty little pussy heal up baby.”
She practically whined against his lips. The soreness had long since disappeared and she knew if she kept things clean that it would likely be fine for them to fool around a bit. She pushed at him till he was shoved out of bed and standing beside it, confused. “You’ve showered, right?”
He nodded, a confused tilt of his chin as she waved him towards the bathroom. His gray shorts doing very little to cover all the freckles littering his skin or the bulging mass thickening between his legs. “Go wash your hands then come back to bed.”
His eyes bulged and he hurried to the bathroom. He came back quickly, sliding into bed with her. She could smell his hand soap and smiled up at him as he crowded over her. “What are you comfortable doing? I don’t want to hurt you.”
She reached between them, palming his erection through the sweatpants he wore and hummed softly with approval. “I need this tonight, that is, if you’ll give it to me.”
He ground against her hand, leaning down to nuzzle into her neck and inhale her scent. He groaned, rolling his hips harder before frustration pulled somewhere inside him and he reached down to free his aching cock. It sprung free, cool air kissing his swollen leaking tip, silver barbell glinting in the low light. “Gods I’ve needed your pussy.”
She giggled breathily as he notched himself at her entrance, sitting up to watch the head of himself disappearing, his eyes fixed eagerly on her brilliant new piercing. His mouth practically watered with the urge to roll his tongue against it, use his tongue to flick the jewelry over her sensitized clit. “Does it increase your stimulation?”
She nodded, gasping as the head of his cock sunk inside. She was tight from their lack of fucking and she felt him pulse excitedly from inside of her walls. “Y-yes, even just cleaning it and looking at it in the shower, whenever I bump it, feels so good.”
He groaned in agony, shutting his eyes and sliding another inch or so inside, rolling his hips to increase her friction and spread the wetness. “Gods your so fucking tight. Been too long since you've been stretched around my cock, love.”
She nodded, gripping his shoulders. His hand slid down, barely pressing against the jewelry and she cried out, legs wrapping around his waist. Holding himself back was going to be a feat and a half.
He sunk the rest of the way inside her and she constricted around him. He nudged the jewelry against her clit again and her head tossed backwards in pleasure. The sight of her falling into pleasure was absolutely breathtaking. He groaned, adjusting to straddle on leg, bringing the other so her knee hooked up over his shoulder, now spread apart his pubic bone ground against the piercing and had her moans heightening in pitch.
His thrusts were slow rolls that casually surged to desperately needy thrusts that he couldn’t hold back no matter how badly he tried. She felt far too good and it had been far too long. “God you’re cock, oh and the way your r-rubbing the piercing. Fuck, I’m gonna cum!”
He chuckled as she gripped the sheets and arched up as she tightened like a vice around him. He tried to keep a cocky tone in his voice but it came out far more strained than he’d hoped. “Oh yea? Already, baby? That little piercing really does help you out, doesn’t it?”
He pressed a thumb right over the jewelry and she lurched up, practically shrieking as she rippled around him, crashing over her edge so fast. He groaned, surging his hips through her orgasm till she finally stilled, loud cries dulling to whimpering coos.
He pulled out of her, having her look down at him in hazy confusion as he settled, laying himself between her legs, spreading her warm thighs open in front of him. She flushed all the way from her cheeks to her thighs as he groaned, spreading her open and grinding his hips against the bed, glutes flexing and drawing her attention before he whispered in a gruff tone. “Fuck it.”
He dove in, licking her cunt from her silky wet opening and up to her newly decorated clit. He moaned at the taste and she frantically reached for the mass of fluffy hair. “S-Seb you can’t! You just fucked me there!”
He made another groan, rolling his hips steadily against the mattress. “I don’t care. This pussy is mine and I’ll eat it whenever I want to. I don’t care if your fresh out of the shower or freshly fucked and filled with my cum. I’ll taste you whenever the fuck I feel like it.”
Heat pooled deliciously between her legs as his tongue flicked precariously over the jewelry through her hood. He teased it over her clit, ran his tongue below it and tortured her with direct pressure that had her absolutely wild and all the while his hips never stopped against the bed.
The sight from between her legs had her quickly climbing the rungs of another orgasm. Her tugs in his hair became more urgent as her toes curled against the warm blankets and her thighs bracketed his head as she arched up into his talented tongue.
She came, shuddering and loose against his face and she didn’t stop till finally he lifted his head, licking her shiny wetness from his lips and chin.
Her eyes bulged when he sat up and she saw the strings of cum trailing from his cock to the blanket. Had he really fucked their sheets till he came while eating her out?
His eyes met hers and he glanced to where she was looking, chuckling and using that low satisfied tone that made her tingle. “How about I change the sheets while you shower off so everything stays clean?”
She swallowed, nodding and getting up into shaking feet and padding into his bathroom while he tossed sheets into the wash. He joined her and a whole new fresh wave of arousal rising inside of her as his erection slipped between the cleft of her ass and she was suddenly wondering if the slap of his balls against her clit as he fucked her from behind would feel as good as it sounded.
#hogwarts legacy#hogwarts legacy smut#hogwarts legacy fanfiction#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow fanfiction#sebastian sallow smut#little emerald snake#requests
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So when quarantine first started, I was visiting my mom. I was just standing around talking and I say "I don't know why I'm still standing. I really should either sit down or leave."
And she doesn't even look up from her phone and goes "it's because you deal with your insecurities by trying to be taller than others"
"I'm not the first person you've done that to today am I?"
"No. I've already told your step-father all about his trust issues"
"Are you perhaps missing having brains to pick at?"
So imagine Hannibal pulling off something similar and Will being all "do you want me to pretend to have encephalitis again so you can influence a weaker mind?"
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Twst boys and their respective Vocaloid songs
Part 2 of this post!
Characters: All NRC students
Warning: Some of these songs contain angsty/dark themes or imply self-harm, however it's nothing too much as that's the nature of Vocaloid songs in general and I recommend you checking them out if you guys can!
Part 1 | Part 2
🕌 Scarabia 🕌
Kalim: Tondemo-Wonderz
This song is full of fun, excitement and upbeat, colorful beats that make you want to smile and dance along, just like the ball of sunshine Kalim he is! The song talks about embracing the unknown and excitement the world offers to us while also having fun, encouraging us to have faith in the wondrous possibilities, while also embracing the failure and mistakes with laughter and positivity. I’d say it’s a perfect song for Kalim, from the vibe to the lyrics!
“Even in this sort of era,
We still believe in "wonders," no, no, no? Know!
The adult's sharp, money-making memories
Make us worry too much! I'm gonna go cross-eyed!”
"Why?!" "Do it like this!!" I love everything! That's fine, isn’t it?
In this plot to make everyone laugh
I can call them rival monsters, right?!
We live in a wild, awesome world.”
“I reckon it's fine to have troubles you can't do a thing about!
I make a pose like I'm gonna save everyone.
How about this smile, it's not gonna crumble at all!
Even if I fall 100 times, I'm like a phoenix. I won't get upset!
Wan wan, too quick, three four! Everybody, showtime!”
“Come on professor! This exam is so tough! Agh!
Alright, done? Is it final? If I don't get 0 points, it's OK!
Let's rain a shower of arrows on those true and false questions!
Right and wrong answers are important memories."
"There are days when I fail too.
You still deny "wonders", no, no, no? Know!
Before I'm taken to pieces, listen, wait!
This slanted society is too on edge. Charge in, leap in, one more time! Are you ready?!”
-----------------------------------
Jamil: Ghost City Tokyo
Like a ghost who is almost invisible to other’s eyes, Jamil used to do the same too, he always makes sure everything he does is at an average level so nobody will notice him. That’s why I picked this song for him, also because of the lyrics - he’s used to losing, to not be able to shine and stand out for the sake of others, and it’s not something he dreamt of at all. Also I think the city here can be interpreted as Scarabia too, because he still wants to be here despite everything that happened in Book 4.
“The lights of the brilliant shining city
Shine down on me in stark contrast
They mix with the neon colours changing
and escaping from the spaces between those buildings"
"I trade my time and this world
And sink into the night”
“It’s fine, someday it will all be fine
How many days I’ve thought so, that have piled up on each other
But even today, the me who fades into the Tokyo scenery all alone
Seems like a ghost”
“Even as I grow used to losing
These important feelings that I haven't lost -
When I held them close to myself,
my tears fell suddenly
Because I think I still want to
Keep living in this city”
-----------------------------------
👑 Pomefiore 👑
Vil: Cinema
This song is pretty self-explanatory with the lyrics, it’s like someone views their life as a movie, their story is like an unchanged script, yet they’re being satisfied with everything - they want to be the leading star, the protagonist of the movie. Being someone who always has to play the villain role, I picked this song for Vil because it just fits him so much with his backstory and his goal as a whole!
“A delusion of dawn
Invaluable escapades and
A misunderstood hero play-pretend
Traffic's already jammed up now-
Oh well, nothing I can do about that anyway”
“No, it can't be this, not this.
This is a bad fit for me
I'm not suited for it-
Should I quit it now, or—
But that's not right, right! I wonder, when will I get to be
The leading star of this show?”
“We're not here yet, yet.
This can't be the end, so
If you're not suited for the role
Then just rewrite the script!
Look, for the most part, I'm sure it'll always just be me
The leading star will only be me!”
“The future I wanted to change has come.
Whatever you like, however you like it,
This is it.
I made it here, all the way from the bottom.
Just like a movie, this is my story.”
-----------------------------------
Epel: Telecaster B-boy
A song talking about the struggle of growing up, trying to find one’s place in this vast world, the singer desires to be loved and appreciated but always gets misunderstood and underappreciated and also frustrated with society, just like Epel himself. He hates being the stereotype, cliche thing. If you know his story and goal then this song is very fitting for him! Also the funky, youthful but somewhat fast beat and lyrics fit him very well too!
“The more I grow up DeDeDe
The less I fit in, a vacant temple.
The girl the life philosopher spoke to
Turns into a bird …
With just lip service PaPaPa
I'll tie up my raggedy shoes …
The boy whom a believer in digitization cursed
Turns into wind …”
“No matter how you look at it DeDeDe
It's a stereo bias, sadistic
The girl who sang like she was stung by a bee
Turns into a flower...
Even if you cover your ears PaPaPa
Those guys' voices become loud
The boy who got these words stabbed in his chest
Turns back…”
“In this world where I can't
Even breathe for a bit
Declaring a goodbye to reality
Won't you just forgive us?
We, the weak ones
Let's meet up again somewhere”
-----------------------------------
Rook: Liar Dance
Rook is a bit hard to find, but in my opinion this is the best song for him. It talks about a couple who both hide and lie to each other. But it also means that the singer’s POV is them knowing they’re a liar, a criminal just like other people. Rook himself is not an exception, he also lies and hides many things away even to his friends or someone like Vil. Also I think the lyrics fit him really well, with constant mention of love and lies many times throughout.
''Stolen? Just whatever do you mean?''
Feigning ignorance today as well
Having made a vow, to you and you alone
Declaring this loveless love of mine in front of you"
"Stolen? Just whatever do you mean?"
Committing myself to this performance, set lines and all
Those memories we've desperately created and clung to,
they blend together and feelings between us intensify”
“Dance away liar
This love has swelled up like a balloon
let's turn it into a lie with the prick of a needle
On the count of "I-love-you"
“Dance away, liar
It's too late to apologize
We're already partners in this crime called "love"
Who cares if there's no going back?”
-----------------------------------
💀 Ignihyde 💀
Idia: All I Need are Things I Like
While there could be many other songs that fit Idia, I decided to pick this one because of the lyrics and overall meaning. The song talks about indulging solely into one’s interests and favorite thing everyday, almost every time without paying much attention to reality much at all. Even though the singer sounds happy and satisfied, they also sound lonely, deprived of energy and strength and also longing for actual companionship instead of coping up to the things that they like. It sounds like Idia himself after what happened to him and also his backstory!
"I don’t like weekdays, I like the weekend
I don’t like work, I like going back to sleep
It’s impossible to live on slacking like this
My consciousness recedes"
"I don’t like vegetables, I like hamburgers
I don’t like barley tea, I like juice
Don’t be sweet on me, but I like sweet tasting things
My lifetime’s first page"
"Only looking at things I like
gradually my eyesight gets worse
Only being filled with things I like
gradually my mind gets duller"
"I don’t like living things, I like machines
I don’t like the real world, I like the virtual
Your tastes were always biased
deteriorating and ceasing to think"
"Surrounded by the things I like
I’ve become unforgiving to the things I don’t like
Living only with the things I like
I'm resented by someone, somewhere"
-----------------------------------
Ortho: Near
This song is gentle, yet emotional and bittersweet, its meaning also fits Ortho and Idia + their relationship a lot if you take it into their backstory context too. At first, Ortho is just a robot that only acts according to how he was programmed but gradually, he starts acting outside his intended programming and learns his own sentience and emotions - just like the robot girl as the song progresses. Overall, I think this fits him a lot!
“Hey, Near. If I don't make fun of someone
And if I won't be able to forgive myself
How do you feel about
This horrible person?"
"Hey, Near. Watching other's strides
Stepping out without a purpose
How do you feel about this
Dull person? Hey Near”
“Hey, Near. I think living every day with a smile
Is something natural
How do you feel about
This arrogant person?"
"Things that do not take any form and cannot be predicted
Will interfere with the calculation process"
Even so"
"Ah, I'll still continue to believe
And ask you who doesn't have a heart
Because your hand was
So much warmer than mine”
-----------------------------------
🐉 Diasomnia 🐉
Malleus: Hare wo Matsu
I feel like this song fits Malleus the most with how the lyrics constantly talk about one’s loneliness and about past’s memories. For Malleus, his biggest fear perhaps is his dearest, most cherished people leave his life, like Lilia - his guardian that raises him up ever since he’s still a little lizard or maybe even MC - his ever first friend that treats him so dearly despite his status or his fearful magic power unlike others who is afraid of him. Even the beat is also beautiful but sad, full of longing for your loved one when they leave - just like Malleus himself.
"I'm not getting tired of this morning,
One that I've waited for. Very faintly,
I'm laughing while appearing to be sorrowful,
And wishing to completely forget you."
"Because there's no end to this curse
Of sleeplessness and the painful past.
I'm singing a song in the morning glow,
If only I could completely forget, it would end."
"There's just one thing I can't yield,
And still, without knowing the reason,
I live, even now..."
"Since I don't have a dream I want to protect,
These are days with no answer,
But that isn't kindness, isn't it?"
"Look, since absolutely nothing hurts,
It's alright," I say.
Someday, when you'll be gone, ah~
Will I be living alone?”
-----------------------------------
Lilia: Kanade Tomosu Sora
I feel like this song fits Lilia the most in terms of the vibe, the lyrics that matched well with his backstory. This song, while sad, full of longing and reminiscent from the past yet it’s like a glimmer of hope somewhere in the deep, dark sea of sad memories. Lilia was the same too despite how we see him acting outwardly. He gives love to others, but he also needs love and hope. He went through events that could crush him easily and yet, he still stayed strong - for a whole 200+ years, for the sake of others. (I recommend checking out the 25ji, Night Code de version too!)
“Every time I trace back my memories,
I feel as if I’m going to be crushed, yet
Since I have no place to take refuge,
I just keep questioning myself over and over. Ah…”
“There are too many things in my way,
It’s as if there are only things I can’t see
Is it alright if I try touching it a little?
I want to say it. Even though it might surely be impossible, I want to somehow.
Hey, more; hey, more; I want to see more”
“So I can turn the images I’ve found of your world still unknown to me
Into song"
"Blaming myself all this time,
I simply live and breathe but only just barely
I’ve always shut it away in a cage
I’m not asking for a plain, simple story. I simply wish to hear your voice”
“It still hurts. Words keep tightening the cord round my neck, but...
These eyes of mine I closed so gently as well, still hurt a little, but…
I want to say it. Even though now,
I still don’t know when it’ll be but someday for sure.
Hey, more; hey, more; I want to see more”
-----------------------------------
Silver: Ice Drop
I think this song fits Silver a lot mostly because of the lyrics, and the deep sea could symbolize the dreams that he dives into in Book 7. Although it’s upbeat, the lyrics are full of longing and reminiscing of the past and also his father, but eventually move on and “grow up” from it. Not to mention, you could even take it as a SilverMC song if you think about that aspect! But even if it's not in a romantic sense, it's still a song talking about how much the past affects us and how we long for our loved one even if it's just a memory, that's why to me this song is really for Silver!
“Even the memories of the past are merely a thousand-year tale
I take a deep breath as I fall into the deep sea”
“Uh- that voice of yours drenches my whole heart
Tangled up and captivated by each other, we sing our unchanging love once more
You, not letting go of your hands become a rule of mine
It's a heart that will melt away the rusted last page
That one and only magic will turn this world around”
“I’ll be waiting. Inside my dream, I reach out my hand”
“Uh- On this planet, I fell in love without sleeping
I longed for you and hesitated what to do, but from now on, I'll grow up
You, If it’s with you, I’ll dive in without hesitation”
-----------------------------------
Sebek: Kashika
Sebek was the hardest to find for me in the entire list mainly because while he has his own character, he doesn’t have too much depth but I tried my best and I think this song fits him the most! This song is powerful, full of willpower and hope towards tomorrow despite the hard, tough times. The song encourages us to keep living, even in the most uncertain moments, you need to cherish each moment of your life as well your living heartbeat, which represents the tenacity and perseverance of life. I feel like the energy as well the meaning of the song fits Sebek a lot overall for his character - with the desire to rise, stand up and protect he always have.
“When my quivering voice breathed life into a song,
It was then I realized,
That was the first time my breath could be seen.
They say that in the end, the value of music is subjective–
Well then, I'll sing as I please,
I'll show you the message I want to convey.
I won't despair over
Or be afraid of my mistakes.
They say to "live the right way,"
But I want to fight against that.
My whole life has consisted of "it's my fault."
Even if I'm treated like a fool,
I'll be hurt and I'll hurt others,
I'll live, causing both kindness and injury.
The present I see is everything to me,
So I don't want to cling onto ideals of the past or the future.
Beat, beat, o heart of mine!
It might be unsteady, but even so, this is my pulse.”
-----------------------------------
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#twst wonderland#disney twisted wonderland#vocaloid#vocaloid music#kalim al asim#jamil viper#vil schoenheit#epel felmier#rook hunt#idia shroud#ortho shroud#malleus draconia#lilia vanrouge#twst silver#silver twisted wonderland#sebek zigvolt
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LAW X READER
P.s. decided randomly to make a part 2. There's prob gonna be 2 more parts. I'm already in the middle of writing part 3. To be honest, this feels more like part 1.5 instead of part 2, but oh well.
Cw: nothing really, this has fluff and just transitional plot between parts 1 and 3.
(And yes, true to theme there will be a cockblocking element in each part lol. The cockblocking in this is really just interrupted sleep.)
Cockblocked in Wano pt.2
You faintly come to your senses, feeling heat radiating your face. Sunlight.
As you yawned and rubbed away the sleepiness from your eyes you began to sit up. Until you felt something keeping you firmly laid down. The sunlight wasn't the only warmth lingering on your skin.
Looking to the thing keeping you bound to the firm ground you saw quite a beautiful sight.
Law looked like he was having the best sleep of his life. Little did you know, it was indeed the best sleep he's had in a while.
You watched the rise and fall of his chest as he slept, a little bit of drool on the corner of his lips. You quietly giggled to yourself and pecked a few kisses to his forehead and cheeks. You could stay like this forever. Maybe being his wife would be better than only pretending. Admiring the peaceful bliss on his face quickly came to a halt as the door to the makeshift house opened quickly and loudly. You and Law both shot up quickly, just to be met with Usopp's disapproving gaze. He looked like a dissapointed father. Sanji and Franky behind him, both of them with their jaws on the floor.
"Are you kidding me, y/n? Seriously?", Usopp said in an annoyed tone.
"What?" You asked innocently.
Usopp quickly grabbed you and pulled you to the side to whisper to you.
"So even after my reasonable warnings, you went ahead and slept with the biggest nerd in Wano last night?"
"HEY! I HEARD THAT!" Law interjected, the once peaceful expression covered in newfound aggravation.
You blushed at the word "slept" Usopp had spoken.
"Wait...WAIT! YOU DIDNT...DID YOU!?!" Usopp began, looking between your flustered face, Law, and the matching kimonos you were suddenly wearing.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY PRINCESS!?!" Sanji yelled, putting the clues together as he started grabbing Law's kimono and yanking him up off the ground.
"CALM DOWN! HER KIMONO GOT DIRTY! I HAD A SPARE ONE!" Law began, trying to save both your asses. Which would have been fine but you knew Law wouldn't lie, so you knew you needed to come up with yet another excuse.
Time to play lawyer again.
It's not that you were ashamed of what you had done together, but you couldn't deny that he'd much rather not have to deal with all of this first thing in the morning. You didn't want to lie to your crewmates, but you definitely didnt want to catch more hell than you already had. Especially when your newfound romance had just began.
"OH YEAH? WHY WAS HER KIMONO DIRTY, HUH?" Sanji asked looking like he was ready to kill Law, more angry with the tattooed man than he had ever been. Even with Zoro.
"Look...those stupid seeds Usohaci left for me went off for some reason. And it directly covered me, so Law offered to clean me up and give me his other kimono," you began, hoping they'd buy it. But as you paused they all stared at you, expectantly waiting for you to continue.
"He was being helpful to me in my time of need," you then looked to Usopp, "and he was there for me at a very vulnerable moment when I really needed him,".
See, he is trustworthy Usopp!
"Oh yeahhhh, then where's your 'dirty' kimono now?" Usopp said in a mocking tone, thinking he'd caught you in a lie.
"It went *poof*," you said expressing the action with hand motions. Which was completely true, because when you remove the clothing kinemon gives you, it poofs back into whatever inanimate object it originally was.
"Oh yeah, I forgot that was a thing with Kinemons power," Usopp said the gears turning in his head, turning in your favor of getting the 3 men off your case.
"Wait, but what about those marks on your neck? Are those...*gasp* HICKIES!?!" Usopp said, bewildered and you could see the electricity in the glare Law and Sanji held.
"No no no...the surprise of the seeds going off made me fall...and my neck just happened to land on some rocks...," you had nothing. However, Sanji seemed convinced.
Sanji sighed and dropped his hold on Law. Usopp just shrugged. If Sanji believed you why shouldn't Usopp follow suit?
"Well, thank you for taking care of our sweet lady. I respect you more, for what it's worth," Sanji said calmly as he lit a cigarette.
"Wish I could saw the same for some you damn straw hats," Law glared at Sanji.
"Well, regardless, I think its cute," Franky finally including himself in the conversation.
Everyone raised an eyebrow at him.
"Oh, you know, because y/n is pretending to be Traffy-dude's wife... and they're wearing matching kimonos. It's starting to look more legit," Franky grinned.
Just when you had gone through so much trouble to make your face deadpan to lie to your crewmates, here you were with a strong red blush on your face. While you were in your head finally realizing that everyone was going to see you and Law in matching kimonos, Sanjis expression turned depressed and Usopp palmed his face in dissapointment of how easily your face gave you away. Making your feelings ever more apparent to your crewmates.
As you glanced among the men, you could've of sworn you saw Law blush, even for just a moment.
You brought your hair to one side of your neck, realizing that you needed to hide Laws marks. This was going to be embarrassing enough.
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Okay, so I was thinking about Snape and although I'm avoiding like hell speaking online about Harry Potter, I think it needs to be said because it falls onto the rest of fantastical literature as well, especially those stories that have parallels to fascism/nazism/colonialism in their magical world.
I'd like to start by saying I don't like Snape for a variety of reasons, some of them because of Rowling, others because of the character himself, and others because of his fans, but today I'd like to talk about how Snape's Redemption Arc actually sucks and why, and also about how we're treating redemption arcs as a whole.
Okay, so let's begin by making a sort of timeline on Snape's life: he grew up in an abusive household, suffered bullying by the Marauders through school years, bullied other students as well, called his best friend a slur, "apologized", joined a fascist hate group that actively persecuted and hurt people for things they had no control of, acted on behalf of this group for years, turned against the hate group not out of morals but because their actions began to threaten the people he cared about (like they always said they would, how shocking), bullied his teenage students as a grown adult, acted as a spy against the hate group when it came back, died.
Right, so before I dive into all those things, what we also have to add is that Art isn't made in a vacuum. Just like science can never be done by a completely neutral party, our productions of art are completely based off of our views, especially when we're talking about writing. As a writer myself, I can see exactly how my experiences as a person in the context I was born and grew up in affect my writing and my production of art.
For example, it's very common that I find enemies calling themselves by their last names in American/European fiction but in Brasil, we don't normally call people by their last names unless it's very unique and as a nickname. So when I write enemies, they always call each other by their first names, simply because it doesn't feel right to me any other way. On a more serious example, most of the countries in my fantasy books have some history of colonization or dictatorship because it's a part of my history and I feel it's impacts to this day, so it's something that reflects my own thoughts and ideas in politics.
So when we talk about Snape as a character, we cannot escape the fact that Rowling created him. And as a European author, it's more than clear —and that's especially obvious to people who suffer under colonization to this day— that Rowling has a deeply ingrained colonizer mentality. The goblins in Gringots are a clear and problematic representation of Jewish people, the domestic elves LIKING being enslaved and not changing the status quo by the end of the books, and even Hermione being ridiculed for her militancy on it — these are all representative of how Rowling views the world.
Although there's more, all of those examples make it clear that, when she looks at fascist ideology as a whole, Rowling doesn't think the ideology itself is the problem: the ending is the depiction of them getting rid of the "bad apples" instead of making the "roots of the tree" healthy again is parallel to blaming bad individuals for a system that is corrupted and therefore corrupts. So basically, what the Harry Potter books tell us by the end is that it's okay for you to perpetuate a racist system, just don't do it so openly. The problem for her is not the system, but these people she considers "bad apples" which is basically right-wing ideology.
And my problem with Snape starts here: because Rowling sees purist views as an acceptable way of thinking as long as you don't kill people because of it (because for some reason that's a step too far — but when the system oppresses, beat down, and hates on marginalized people, that's okay) — in her mind and in her writing, Snape's ideological affiliation earlier on in his life is not that big of a problem, especially when he "changes sides".
Snape's active participation in a hate group is dangerously and irresponsibly downplayed both by Rowling and by Snape's apologists and fans when this is, in reality, one of the two greatest offenses his character has to compensate for in his "Redemption Arc". So when he hesitates at nine yo to say to Lily that being a Muggleborn doesn't make a difference (even when he knows it does in a practical sense of what's happening in the Wizarding World), when he despises Petuney for being a Muggle, when he says to Lily that what he, Mulciber and their "death eaters" friends did to Mary McDonald was "just a laugh (btw, I'm sure the Marauders also think what they did was "just a laugh" as well), all of this is not only extremely reprehensible, it's the kind of thing that makes a fascist, a fascist.
And it's not that I don't believe teenagers cannot change their minds and grow with more ease than adults, it's just that this alone would've been enough grounds to understand why Snape's redemption arc sucks. His beliefs from early on, even before he goes to Hogwarts, are extremely problematic and hateful, and they uphold the very corrupted system that is perpetuated against Muggle-borns in the Wizarding World.
Then we reach the point I wanted to make: it's very clear throughout the books that child and teenager Snape struggles with feelings of deep hatred against his parents (especially his father, who's a Muggle), inadequacy in social life even among his peers (wizards and witches) and isolation, all of which make a person undeniably vulnerable to extremist ideology.
And here's my first issue with Snape and his Redemption Arc: his trauma and feelings should not be an excuse for his bad choices and yet, they are used exactly as such. Yes, Snape was an impressionable teenager and yes, he was influenced by an ideology in his desperation to fit in and find solace in a community, but that doesn't matter.
None of it matters because, at the end of the day, his actions for this ideology are just as harmful, just as awful, just as cruel, as the actions of someone who joined the Death Eaters for thoroughly believing Muggleborns were scum. He harmed people just as much as Yaxley, Mulciber, or any other Death Eater who joined Voldemort for their hatred just for his support alone.
And more than that, even if Snape was in a vulnerable state and impressionable, he was still receiving other kinds of influences, influences that were contrary to the bigotry and cruelty of Voldemort — and he still chose to ignore those influences. There was still a level of choice to what he became as a young adult.
But even if there wasn't, Snape is —or at least he should be— responsible for his own choices regardless of influence. As they say in the Kingdom of Heaven film, when you're before God and he asks you why you did something, you won't be able to say that others told you to do so or that it wasn't convenient to do the right thing — it'll not be enough. And it's not enough because your actions matter more than your intentions. Your actions will be the thing that will determine what happens next, not your intentions. It'll be actions that will shape your path and influence or directly impact the path of others around you, not your intentions.
The older I get, the more I understand the power of action and how it says more than any intention or feeling ever will. At the end of it, Snape's actions are what matters, not his feelings or intentions. But as humans, we're so prone to empathize with others that we actually believe that, because someone feels guilty or regrets the things they did, that's enough to forgive them.
We forget that it's not.
Earning forgiveness must come with 5 major steps —
Accountability — do they acknowledge the way their actions hurt us? Do they acknowledge the way they hurt us? Do they acknowledge their role in our pain?
Apologies — do they apologize? Is their apology sincere? Do they hold themselves accountable in their apologies?
Acceptance — do they feel entitled to forgiveness? Do they accept the consequences of their actions? Do they accept the boundaries you impose on the path to forgiveness?
Amends — Did they take steps to mend what's broken? Do they make choices to prevent them from doing this again? Do they try to help without crossing your boundaries?
Alteration — Did they change the behavior that hurt you? Did they take steps to improve themselves?
Those steps are fundamental in a Redemption Arc because it'll exemplify to the (young) readers what is forgivable and how forgiveness is earned, not deserved. That's what grits me the most about Snape's "Redemption Arc":
There is no accountability, at least not for joining and upholding a hate group, and we kinda get accountability for what he did in his friendship with Lily, but in a fucked up way, let's see:
It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded
in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.
“I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.”
“I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just – ”
“Slipped out?” There was no pity in Lily’s voice. “It’s too late. I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends – you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?”
He opened his mouth, but closed it without speaking.
“I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”
“No – listen, I didn’t mean – ”
“ – to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?”
It's very important to me that we dissect this piece of dialog because it shows a lot about Snape and how every time he's tried to apologize, there's no accountability.
He didn't say he's sorry he said that slur (to LILY and only Lily, might I add, when at all would've been ideal but I'll have some leniency because of the situation) — he's said he's sorry, but not for what he has done, just for Lily. He didn't take responsibility for his words as he should — he says it 'slipped out' or that 'he didn't mean, again just to LIly.
He accepted no boundaries Lily tried to impose — sleeping outside Gryffindor? Really?
Most importantly of all, he took absolutely ZERO steps to alter his behavior so that he could never harm someone again like he harmed Lily. And that's very important, I cannot begin to explain how: when we regret doing something, the most fundamental step to take in change.
Change is fundamental to forgiveness but it shouldn't be conditioned by it. If we regret doing something harmful, the first thing to do is to change our behavior. Instead, Snape not only doesn't change his problematic behavior, he doubles down on it, joining the hate group Lily pointed out as one of the main problems in why their relationship couldn't continue, acting in the name of said group for years and only backing down on it when Lily is threatened.
And that reveals something about Snape's worldview: for him, since that day he called Lily a slur, the problem wasn't that he was a bigoted piece of shit (like Lily said it was), the problem, in his head, was that he hurt Lily. And that's not true. The problem is, one hundred percent, his bigoted behavior, and Lily says as much, more than one time. He just does not listen to it. He doesn't listen to her.
More than that, though, you can try to point out that he redeems himself by acting against Voldemort but I'm sorry: what Snape did is not enough. He was part — and believed in — a hate group, it's not enough that he changes sides not because of values, but because one person who is being threatened is dear to him (which was the whole prerogative anyway so I failed to see how he's even surprised by this). You can say that this is good or honorable or "love" but it's not cute to base your entire life around one person.
It's not honorable to prioritize one person over a whole world he was threatening before and not caring at all about them. Disregarding other human beings in favor of one is not as pretty as people think it is and Snape represents this very well: it makes you bitter, it makes you become abusive, cruel, a bully to everyone else. It's not pretty, it's not understandable. Be a fucking decent human being, it's actually not that hard.
But I digress again: my point is, that just because Snape regrets the things he has done for Voldemort (not even out of morals, which drives me mad) it doesn't mean he deserves forgiveness. He doesn't and he hasn't earned it, he didn't even try. Actually, he's so stuck in his regret, he's harmful because of it: guilt is a trap, babes. It sucks you in if you let it and makes you miserable as well as anyone around you. You'll be so remorseful and yet you'll hurt people because of it.
And it's the same thing I've been saying since the beginning: we need to stop associating feelings with deserving forgiveness because you don't deserve forgiveness, you earn it. Either you earn it from someone else, from yourself, or from both, but either way, it's earned, not deserved. If I were to excuse my harmful behavior every time just because I regretted doing something instead of earning their forgiveness by taking steps to apologize to the people I've hurt, I would be compared to my father all the time. And THAT would've been an insult.
Anyway, let's just stop feeling sorry for characters, especially fascists, just because they regret something. Please, let us hold our characters accountable for the shit they've done adequately and make our writers actually put in the work to make them earn the forgiveness they crave instead of just wallowing in their own misery, stuck forever in a vortex of hurting and being hurt that sucks people in. It's not a good example for us readers, it's not a good example of behavior, it's not what a good person who did shitty things should strive to be and we shouldn't think it is.
#snape slander#severus snape bashing#anti severus snape#pro james potter#pro marauders#sirius black#writers#writers on tumblr#female writers#books#harry potter#hp fandom#severus snape#snivellus#james potter#the marauders#marauders era#james potter is actually a good person#i really hate snape#sorry not sorry
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Pancakes for Dinner
inspired by the song of the same name by lizzie mcalpine.
a fetchen story as told by karen's letter to gretchen.
Gretch,
Hey. I know I haven't been in contact for weeks since I came home in India, and I'm really sorry for that. I thought I needed some space after graduation to figure things out for myself for a while especially now that high school is really over.
It kinda sucks, doesn't it? I thought life would be all good after Spring Fling in junior year, but somehow everything became different. Some are good different, others are bad different. Mostly good, though. At least we all graduated, and thanks to everyone, I didn't have to fall back a year to catch up with my grades.
Gretchie, I'm in the airport right now, waiting for my flight back to the US.
Funny how I've been riding airplanes since I was small and it still makes me nervous. I mean, it shouldn't be logical for a machine that heavy to be able to fly, right? It has no feathers like a bird, and its wings doesn't even flap. It just doesn't make sense, Gretch.
I am coming home. I plan to, at least. And I will be there by your side the next thing you know.
But in the rare case that I don't make it home, I want you to know something.
The truth is, all these years being by your side has been the best years of my life.
Sure, there are ups and downs especially when Regina gets cranky and lashes out on us, or when school sucks so hard that it's stressing us out. It was always you who held my hands though it all and made things better.
I love the days when it would just be the two of us hanging out. When we go to the mall and shop for clothes, when we go salons and have our nails done, when we go to festivals and carnivals and try on all the rides that we can go to, and take photos for our scrapbook.
I especially love it even when we're chilling in your house when your parents aren't around, on the couch wearing our pajamas with popcorns and colas in the table in front of us, a cheesy movie playing in the TV. You would always snuggle next to me, hold my hand underneath the blanket, and lay your head on my shoulder. You would fall asleep on the middle of our third movie and I would always be too scared to move, not wanting to wake you up and ruin your peace so I just sit still until the credits roll.
Days when you would sleepover at mine and we would talk and talk about everything and anything until the sun rises. How we would sneak downstairs in the middle of the night and make the kitchen our own little bubble. You would always pretend that the spatulas were microphones and sing random tunes just to keep me company while I cook pancakes for dinner. I would always be in awe of your voice and how you carry yourself when you perform as if you were on a stage, spotlight set on you, and there were only the two of us in the whole world that existed in that very moment.
I know you still love her, Gretch. It shows in the way you look at her and the way you cling to her every word. It has been like that for years but you just don't realize it. You would always say that you were just doing everything because you're a great friend. It's not like that, though. It hasn't been since ninth grade.
I know I was too much of a coward to say something, even now, I'm still scared. I don't want to taint whatever we have right now and risk losing it all. I can't lose you, Gretchen.
I don't want to keep on pretending that seeing you pay attention to someone else doesn't hurt. I don't want to keep on telling you that I'm happy you're with someone else when I'm clearly not.
But you couldn't have known.
Gretch, I don't want to say something, not yet, but I hope by now you probably have an idea what I'm trying to tell you. I can't be too forward in case it all comes crashing down on me and I don't think I can handle this going south, at least not right now.
I'll see you when I see you, and hopefully I'll finally be brave by then.
Always yours,
Karen.
#karen shetty#gretchen wieners#fetchen#mean girls#mean girls 2024#karen x gretchen#song fic#kinda#idk what to tag this i just whipped this out a couple of mins ago#dribble drabble
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Is “what have you done” still common phrase Angel often hears, as well as the other toys?
image id: Two anonymous asks. First one:
"Would Proto hate certain words and reminders of his past? Like “isn’t he wonderful”?".
Second one:
"Angel’s totally gonna say “What have you done?” to Prototype in the final verbal and physical confrontation...turning the parallels and guilt on their head!
Those two have so much to relate to with each other, though...I like to think that phrase evolves into a loving in-joke between the two of them!"
end image id.
I'm very happy to say that "isn't he wonderful?" became something Prototype uses in order to refer to Catnap/Theo during the decade post-HoJ and pre-rescue. It eventually evolves to what Prototype says when referring to the toys as a whole ("aren't they wonderful?"), taking back the original meaning from the people who made him like this. It's only with Angel's help and stupid jokes, however, that Proto warms up to the idea of being called wonderful.
HOWEVER. "What have you done?" is now what Angel says all the time to the toys and their many shenanigans. "What have you done?!" and the camera cuts to Bubba and Driver surrounded by old computer pieces. "Science!", they reply, VERY proud of themselves. The reverse also happens: "Mom, what have you done?", and it's Angel pretending they didn't just try to rearrange the entire living room in order to troll the kids.
I like to think there comes a moment when they're warming up to each other where Angel says "aren't you just wonderful?", and Prototype replies with "are you proud of yourself?", and it may as well be the first time since forever that both phrases have a positive meaning for both of them.
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tfw that nerd from the sixth informs you that the cavalier you killed like a piece of meat is now slowly but surely becoming an indelible part of you and you just have to live with that
#ianthe tridentarius#naberius tern#the unwanted guest#the locked tomb#tlt spoilers#tug spoilers#i didn't realize til i was done that ianthe's arm is on the wrong side I'm an idiot#just pretend some funky stuff with mirrors or something
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