#i'll reblog with the individual bois later :) !
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friends, enemies, lurkers, we've made it to the
Whump Of All Time Finals!
What's the whumpiest whump of all time? Help us decide!
Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter! Make sure you click through to the main blog to find the run-off poll to crown third place, as well!
ROTK:
(spider attack, rescue)
"The Lord of The Rings, when Frodo gets bitten by a giant spider and left for dead by Sam at the end of The Two Towers, and then when Sam finds him in The Return of the King being held prisoner and whipped by an orc."
The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):
(link)
"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."
sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.
So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!
(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.
The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...
Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?
Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...
The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...
Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...
Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...
Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...
Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?
Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.
Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!
UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.
SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.
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I know I mostly just ask random thoughts about brozone and how unbelievably angsty they are but
What about any headcannons about brozone? Individually or as brozone as a whole?
-🦦
(Also happy holidays!!)
Oh, that's a fun question. I genuinely haven't put too much conscious thought into it but I have a few that I can share off the top of my head.
There's at least one headcanon involving Branch in there for all of them but I might follow up with more headcanon posts somewhere down the line. (Excuse the funny little doodles, I wanted to see if I could make decent headers and I did... okay.)
-> He doesn't like being alone. He didn't spend the twenty-some years after BroZone broke up just on his own in the Neverglades but instead hopping around from place to place looking for new experiences and new people to meet. He'd always go back to the Neverglade Trail, though. Just in case someone needed him.
-> It was still really lonely but he never thought too much about his brothers or the Troll Tree. He's an expert at denial and avoidance.
-> He's pushy with Branch because he wants to try and help Branch be more open and direct with him but he doesn't really know how to sit down and have a serious conversation about it.
-> He's not stupid. He can be unobservant and a bit full of himself but he has a good head on his shoulders.
-> He and Branch bond over survivalist tips.
-> He was worried he was going to be a bad father. He still had a lot of stuff he was working on when he and Brandy had their first kid and he was old enough that he really didn't remember his dad. He certainly didn't want to emulate John Dory. He knew they'd be okay the second he saw his son in Brandy's arms for the first time.
-> Brandy helped him get over the toxic mindset BroZone gave him and while he can still struggle sometimes he's never been happier.
-> Amazing cook. His food is amazing. Cooking, baking, it's all divine.
-> He cooks for Branch a lot when he visits. At first it's because he couldn't get the image of his baby brother out of his head but then it was because Branch had confessed that no one really cooked for him before and he just couldn't have that.
-> Clay chose the admin building as his room back when he was still desperate to be anything other than the fun boy. He regrets it.
-> He and Viva have bonded a lot about their family traumas, especially over how much they missed their siblings. He never wanted to stay away as long as he had but after they found refuge in the Golf Course he never got the courage to leave Viva behind to go find his brothers.
-> Clay's hair just naturally changed color with age. It wasn't stress-induced or anything, it just happened. Like how some blonds change to brunette when they get older.
-> He really likes crossword puzzles and sudoku. It has nothing to do with his desire to distance himself from his fun persona. He's just a nerd.
-> He really enjoys Branch's input. Branch is an incredibly handy, if not a bit paranoid, realist who isn't afraid to share his opinions. It's really helpful when it comes to safety measures or even trying to avoid complicated emotions.
-> Floyd may be alive but he doesn't recover fast. The effects of the diamond vacuum (exhaustion, weakness in the limbs, a chill in his bones, dizziness, etc.) linger with him for years afterward and he finds it incredibly frustrating.
-> Floyd is such a smug little shit. He will give you shit and tease you to hell and back and then give you the most innocent smile immediately after.
-> He moves into Pop Village after he's rescued. It reminds him a lot of the Troll Tree when he was a kid and it's bittersweet.
-> He finds out about Branch's puzzle tradition and the two of them start doing daily puzzles together.
-> Floyd's pod is in the clearing where Branch's bunker is.
Surprisingly I don't really know what to put for Branch here but I think I'll reblog this later with additions for Branch and Poppy.
I hope you enjoy the holidays, thanks for the fun question.
#{ the sensitive one }#{ the leader }#{ the fun boy }#{ the heartthrob }#| branch answers |#| branch rambles |#( 🦦 )#dreamworks trolls#trolls floyd#trolls john dory#trolls bruce#trolls clay#trolls brozone#| Clue Board |
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Wow. Y'all. I truly never expected so many awesome responses on the post I wrote last night about Dieter, Goya and Pedro on Talk Art. It is the first 'fun' thing I've written in so many years - after having felt blocked/paralyzed re: creative pursuits since 2020 (shit happened) -, without stressing about how I wrote it, and it means the world to me that so many people liked it and shared it.
I don't want to clutter up all the feeds by individually sharing and responding to the reblogs etc, so I'm throwing it together in one post here - because I want y'all to know I appreciate it so much. And it honestly made me even more excited that some of my favorite PP fic authors did so, because I've been enjoying YOUR work so much!
@chaoticgeminate Sending those hugs right back, and your fic was absolutely not a silly little piece! I truly love(d) it, and I'm glad it sent me down this little rabbithole. And yes, while writing that piece I also became more convinced that Pedro himself was a really big part in shaping Dieter and his background story. It's so damn intelligent and very much his style.
One thing I didn't mention yesterday (and I'm sure this is something a lot of people already spotted since the first day that the movie was online) is that I also came to realize how much Pedro has based Dieter's outfits and some mannerisms on Jeff Bridges' character The Dude from 'The Big Lebowski'. Never really saw that movie but I put it on today for a bit, and it was striking -- I'd even dare to say that the "'Bola, hold my hair!" moment on the toilet is a nod to how The Dude (who has longer hair) gets his face shoved into a toilet. Also, at one point when Bridges' character is addressed with "Mr Lebowski", he dismisses that and tells the guy to call him Dude, or even 'Duder' which, yeah, that's just a small step from 'Dieter Bravo'.
amycben on Reddit said the same thing about Bridges, and shared these Dieter pics, which definitely made it clear how our Feral Raccoon Boy's style is inspired by 'The Dude' <3 I don't care much for the Lebowski movie, but I love a good reference, especially since it's a Coen brothers movie - and we all know that Pedro now has a small role in Ethan Coen's upcoming movie 'Driveaway Dolls'. Anyway, I honestly hope that at some point Pedro will be asked about the work he did in shaping Dieter, because I'd love to hear more about this. There's no chance in hell that'll happen, because which journalist would ask him this? But I'm cool though if the universe wants to manifest one of us getting to interview him some time in the future, haha.
Anyway, again @chaoticgeminate - thank YOU really. I needed that deep dive more than I knew thanks to your writing!
@nicolethered thank you too for being responsible for my deep dive, haha, it were your screenshots that made me recognize the other Goya paintings! <3 (and I love your gifs btw!
@mysterious-moonstruck-musings well hearing from you that you loved MY writing is just such a super awesome thing after how much I've been enjoying your Dieter story! <3 <3
@julesonrecord I'M TOTALLY IN hahaha, I saw your comment right before I went to bed last night and it made me smile so much!
@imaswellkid I'm def not an Apatow person either, and I'll be honest - the first time I watched the Bubble I couldn't get past the first half, haha. But I later began to realize that you should indeed watch it through a critical lens and as a reflection about the craziness that was going on, rather than 'oh this is a movie about the pandemic'. The Mando bud is great btw! But even better is the Baby Yoda bud - I have no clue how growers/dispenseries (I'm in the midwest) get away with naming their product after Disney stuff, but I'm sure glad it got me to try that hahaha.
@lunapascal IKR artist Dieter is so damn underrated, and I'm so glad that at least a whole lot of fic authors are giving him more of what he deserves! OK and I totally want to write some too now, hahaha. Especially because there's a lack of Dieter x OMC/m!reader fics, which tbh needs to be fixed.
@survivingandenduring @sp00kymulderr @thesimulationswarm @pedrit0-pascalit0 @gemmahale @sin-djarin @perotovar @ladamedusoif @gracie7209 thank you so much for your kind words, they honestly mean so much to me! @angelofsmalldeathandthecodeine WOW, that Dali piece is fuckin incredible! And @basicoccult woahhh maybe y'all did!? See now I feel like I need to inquire about whether y'all take new initiates! <3
@chronically-ghosted God don't get me started, it's so tempting - next thing you know I'll have suckered myself into writing Dieter fic (while I'm only just getting started now on two other WIPs), haha. But yes I'm so curious about what the unspoken canon is there -- and most probably Pedro is the one with answers to that since it seems so much like he created Dee. I ended up googling some Apatow interviews this morning and saw that he set out to make the Bubble as a sort of Christopher Guest movie (the mockumentary style), and other articles said that there was a lot of improv involved - so obviously Pedro must've contributed a lot. Particularly because I've read at least interviews with four directors (Zeke who did Prospect, Craig Mazin from TLOU, I wanna say Patty Jenkins, and I'm currently blanking on the other name) who spoke about how involved Pedro was, down to specific dialogue and character's motivations etc in shaping the movie (I think Zeke said that Pedro worked with them to tone down Ezra's Shakespearian manner of speech a little, which I can totally see happening since Pedro has done/read so much Shakespeare and it's easy to picture that he wants to fine tune it so it's accessible enough for audiences). Ugh, it's probably gonna take a long while until there'll be any long form interviews with him again, and sadly interviewers are probably not gonna ask about any of this.
Re: painting or acting, yesterday I read @blueeyesatnight 's That's Not Your Name-Dieter fic (LOVED it, can def recommend it!) and one of the coolest things about Dee's character development there is that it indeed delves into 'okay how did he pick acting versus art' and more background story, plus how in the current day events of the story he is even making his own oil paint. That has become my headcanon now <3
@tessa-quayle I'm so glad you liked my post!! I really really wish that Russell and Robert would do another episode with Pedro. I love Russell in particular (sorta followed his work since Being Human was released, which holy crap was already 15 yrs ago?), but the way they attempted to interview Pedro back then was kind of a hot mess - and I say that lovingly hahaha. They were so enthusiastic that they talked over him so/too many times, so I'd love a tad calmer conversation where P has the opportunity to go more indepth.
@tvversionperson IKR there is SO much plot and character development to be explored with Dieter in that movie, which of course it doesn't have room to delve into but shit I wish they would/could. Or at least to just hear Pedro talk about what his thoughts are on it, because you know he most definitely had Dee's entire back story fleshed out in his head when he shot this movie.
Super long post, but again, I just wanted to thank y'all for the love. This is the first time I've done anything writing wise re: the PP cinematic universe, and all your responses have been so heartwarming and really encouraged me to do more stuff in one way or another with the Pedro boys, be it rabbit hole analysis or fic.
#pedro pascal characters#dieter bravo#dieter bravo x f!reader#goya#francisco goya#black paintings#saturn devouring his son#witches sabbath#two old men eating soup#he-goat men#pedro pascal character fanfiction#pedro pascal#dieter bravo fanfiction#the bubble#art#talk art#painting#oil painting#mural
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⏳Downfall Links Doodles⏳
Program: Ibis Paint X
Time Elapsed: 4 hours, 25 minutes.
Classic Link got smaller somehow, and I welcome it.
The doodles above are all incarnations of Link from the Downfall Timeline (+ bonus Ravio because it is inexcusable to leave him out). I can go on for hours about why I love each of these storylines individually, but I'll try to keep it short and sweet and save the ramblings for another post.
This page includes ALTTP Link, ALBW Link and Ravio, LoZ Link, and AoL Link- who I HC as a second incarnation of LoZ Link (more on that later, my mind has been swirling... o_o).
First in the Downfall Timeline comes ALTTP Link, and I already have expressed how much I love that game. I mean, just look at rabbit Link. Sure, it's not very intimidating, but there is no way you can't love a little bunny. I hope we get some sort of nod to his again in newer games (like Ravio). I can never really decide on which color to use on his hair, but this time I tried pinkish highlights. It makes his hair look like a sunset, oddly enough, but also kind of like old art of the Sacred Realm.
Next comes ALBW Link and Ravio. Based on some implied dialogue exchanges in the game, I like to imagine they're too much alike while not at all at the same time; like brothers, basically. However, I imagine they're close enough that Link surprisingly takes his cowardly counterpart more seriously than others might, and Ravio looks up to Link a lot and even tried to replicate his behavior. Knowing that Tri-Force Heroes Link is supposed to also be ALBW Link, I imagine Ravio is like the "Vio" to the trio of Red, Green, and Blue in Hytopia. The little smithing attire ALBW wears was given to him by the Blacksmith, who I HC adopts him after the story. That makes Gulley his little brother. :)
Lastly, there's the two classic versions of Link. According to Nintendo, these two Links are one in the same. However, I like to imagine differently due to the difference in gameplay style. I also just think it fits better in context of the rest of the timelines. So, here they are with two different designs. LoZ Link is a small, ten year old boy with a heart twice his size. He simply sticks to a sword and bombs. AoL Link is 16, and learns magic spells to progress through his adventure while living in the dormer's shadow.
I like to imagine, if Ravio somehow met these other incarnations of Link, he would give them all goofy nicknames. ALBW would obviously remain Link or Mr. Hero, but ALTTP Link would likely be cursed with some bunny related name because Ravio thinks it has style. LoZ Link would probably just be "little buddy" (in reference to him calling the Link he knows simply "buddy"), and AoL Link would just be "Mr. Adventurer". He's really creative.
I've been considering making a LoZ-based fancomic and have been making plot outlines at a rapid pace. It is unlikely to start up anytime too soon, but perhaps keep an eye out? I may send updates every so often.
Reblogging is fine, but please don't post this anywhere else without linking the original post. Thanks!
#artists on tumblr#fanart#the legend of zelda#legend of zelda#a link to the past#alttp#lttp#loz#loz fanart#loz alttp#albw zelda#loz albw#albw#a link between worlds#classic zelda#the adventure of link#adventure of link#loz aol#link zelda#link legend of zelda#doodles#loz doodles#zelda fanart#downfall timeline#ravio zelda#loz ravio
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Rule Addendums: Mostly for my own sanity + because I'm not used to such an active RPC ( I've mostly always stuck to dead ones and it's a lot less hectic ) and I'll make these changes later in my gdoc ( note to self to also update Kitty's about sheet ) :
Please reblog from the source! At this point, many sources have deleted; just click on the gear shift icon and select 'view last reblog'. I personally always try to reblog from defunct blogs that haven't been used in several years. Sorry, I hate being a stick in the mud, but boy howdy do those notifications clog up.
Interactions take place in their own universes / AUs unless it is discussed by the muns! Communication is key! By default, I always put each ship in their own separate AU, but if my fellow mutuals want to mush everything together and make a timeline, then sure, I think I'd be down, just communicate with me first! Cheating / infidelity is as close to a trigger I can get, so I would hate to do that to someone, even without knowing.
( In all seriousness, I'm actually not comfortable writing poly ships, but! But but but, I wouldn't mind easing into it, I think. Kitty is a sexbot, so despite my personal boundaries / squicks, I do want to keep her true to character, so I will attempt to acknowledge all of that. I'm just not the best at writing it out. Please have patience with me lol Not exactly 'realistic' for her to be monogamous, even if she herself wants to stick with one individual... )
Remember, I do mains, not exclusives or affiliates! I find this restricts me the least and I personally don't know how to navigate exclusives. Every interaction she has with duplicates of a single character is unique, as it should be. I want everyone to enjoy Kitty and give everyone the respect that is deserved, to them and their muses. I would hate to take on exclusives / affiliates, only for one of us to go inactive and being unable to write with others.
I AM CANON'S BITCH! If s2 tells us Kitty was bought at a shady swap meet, then /shrug/ she'll be as such in this blog. I write Kitty with the little information we are given ( which is, none, actually, but you know what I mean ) and this may absolutely change the more we see ( assuming she even shows up )
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The Haikyuu Boys with a Cosplay SO
Kageyama Tobio x GN reader; Ushijima Wakatoshi x GN reader
Warnings: fluff!
AN: This is an Anon request!
🌠 Please Like, Reblog and/or Share to help support my writing 🌠
Tobio Kageyama
He'll admit, he doesn't understand it
BUT- that doesn't mean he's not supportive 🥰
Just like you and his volleyball
And you know what, that's ok! Because it's good for couples to have their own individual interests
However, he does find your talent for coaplay amusing
He actually really enjoys watching you get ready
Everything from the hair to the makeup to the actual costume
Heck he's even helped you make your costume
Random mini side note: I feel like Kageyama would try his hardest at anything
Ok maybe not school 🙄 but like he would totally be into helping you out
He's a master with a hit glue gun 💅🏼
To get him to go to conventions with you, you will probably have to make him a deal
"I'll go to your volleyball games and practice with you, if you come with me"- You
"Deal!"- Kags
It's all about the compromise
But he secretly has fun at the conventions
He's so observant so he's noticed the details on all the costumes
He'd make mental notes to tell you about them later 😍
He'd be the designated photographer 📸
He would be great with standing still and taking portraits for you
Also he will totally watch the shows with you 🤚🏻
On a scale of 1-10, he'd be an 8 for supportive!
Wakatoshi Ushijima
This one I find so entertaining 🥰
Ushijima would love an SO who does cosplay
You are essentially a Tendou
And Ushijima would be so devoted to you
Please he might be a stoic man but he's totally going to give you honest opinions about your cosplay
"Maybe a little more glitter YN"- Ushiwaka 😐
"That characters hair is a bit higher YN. Here let me help"- Ushi 😐
He has his vollball and you have your cosplay
Please you even cosplay as Ushijima for his games 😭
Imagine Ushijima standing by his team and just another smol version of Ushiwaka shows up and stands next to him
🧍♂️ 😐 🧍♂️ 😐
Tendou would absolutely lose it 🤣
"TWO USHIWAKAS" Tendou 🖐🏻👁⭕️👁🖐🏻
"Ok let's play our best"- Ushijima 😐
"Ok LeTs PlAy OuR BeSt"- you 😐
Ushijima just ignores you because he's so use to it
Please you embody Ushi in cosplay 😭
After the game, you ask Semi or Shirabu to set for you
Tendou is going to block
You slam a spike down
"THE GREAT USHIWAKA STRIKES AGAIN"- tendou
"ThAnK yOu TeNdOu"- you 😐
Ushijima js just staring at you 😐
Please he's smiling on the inside YN 😭
#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#haikyu!#haikyu#haikyū!!#haikyu x gender neutral reader#haikyu x you#haikyu x y/n#haikyu x reader#kageyama tobio#kageyama x yn#kageyama x reader#haikyu kageyama#kageyama#kageyama x y/n#kageyama x you#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima hcs#hq ushijima#ushijima x y/n#ushijima x you#ushijima x reader#ushijima x gender neutral reader#haikyuu ushijima#haikyuu kageyama#hq kageyama#cosplay reader
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4 Hounds deep dive part 2 : Marni, the girl who lost her chance
On a more joyous note, we continue to break down the Hounds this time with Marni
Her post ended up being so long Tumblr can't take it so I am gonna proceeds differently for her. I'll add what to say and then reblog to add others points; Ahem, Ahem
Marni is the ONE and ONLY Hound that had SOME redeeming quality or rather was shown to have some even if she didn’t join our party, because of many circumstances making her different then Zephia and Griss being that compared to the 2 who were victims who became abusers, she was a victim that WAS going to turn into an abuser but before that we’re gonna have to see her backstory and everything to understand why she is quite different then her her fellow Hounds...
So of course SPOILERS AHEAD
Marni seems to be inspired by whatever archetype Peri ended up becoming. When she was little, her mother had a lot of male children so she had to help her but her mother never expressed any gratitude towards her and eventually, she ended up getting rid of Marni at a church.
I’ll go back to comment on all of this later, now let’s go
1- Marni’s way of speech
Japanese has several way for one individual to refer to themselves or others, several words for one prounons. In the JPN dub, Marni and Madeline uses different prounons to refer to themselves. Madeline uses watashi. Marni, however used boku/ 僕/ ぼく. * If you watched any anime, you must know by now that boku means the same thing as watashi but is usually used by males especially young boys or otherwise boyish person.
For instance, Merrin uses boku too, to match her tomboyish design and in general, female knights in anime tends to use it too. However, Marni doesn’t look tomboyish nor boyish at all.
Her armor is pink, a color considered to be feminine, she had heart and ribbon pattern all over her armor, a skirt made of frill and lace, sleeves made of the same fabric, a hairband like maids with frills and ribbons etc. She also uses kimi, a informal form to refer to others as you compared to anata while irl japanese people hardly uses prounons. In short, Marni speaks informally, in a rather immature manner and is using prounons mostly used by male or tomboys, even though it clashes with her design, not only the “sweet little girl with blone hair and blue eyes like a little angel” thing but also her very girlish armor. I think Marni’s way of speaking is due to her environement as she was surrounded by boys.
Now I know that FE isn’t quite exactly a serie or franchise or whatever media to hold actual historical accurency, but in medieval era, when poor people had a lot of children, feeding them and taking care of them was hard, that’s why many scholars believe that fairytales and folklore tales are so full of children abandonement stories like Hansel and Gretel, Le Petit Poucet etc, etc. Hence why Marni’s sentence isn’t that surprising once you have that in mind
In fact, Griss too got that (and Gregory in another world) but even if then, having a girl was always considered bad luck for those people because the boys could work to help their family, whereas the girl would just be a burden. That’s why young girl always had to work and help their parents with chores and when they were reaching puberty, their parents were looking for a husband to get rid of her which isn’t that different from abandonning her. Marni seems to believe her mother got rid of her rather then any of her brother because she is a girl thinking “there were so many of them, and i was the only girl so if it didn’t matter she would have had choosen another one but me”, and because of all of this, she ended up adopting a kind of speech that you would expect from a male speaker, not only that but also the impression that her mother did not liked her because she was a girl
From Marni’s perspective, her mother prefering her brother makes no sense since they don’t help her at all, unlike Marni does so why would she prefer children that doesn’t help her and are an actual burden to one that is helping her taking care of the house and doing the chores so you could say that she tried speaking less like a girl in order to be more like by her mom, whatsmore her mom took Marni’s help for granted and never shown any signs of gratitude which seems also weird for Marni seeing how her brother did not helped, shouldn’t her mother be grateful and ... you guess what i am about to say don’t you ? yes. Be more grateful and notice her ? that she is here, loving her, and helping her ?
Marni’s speech is a first way of digging into her character as a child that was abandonned and still suffer from this abandonement. The reality being that her mother abandonned her long before she leaved her in front of this chruch as she would have eyes only for her sons and never payed attention to the struggles of her daughter to help her.
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TAG LIST
Note: This is where you can find specific things that I talk about, from different fandoms to different thoughts that I have. Please let me know if I haven't tagged something correctly and I'll reassess. Tags may overlap, as I like to tag things in batches for organization. Also please note that tag links seem to be finicky and may or may not work on desktop and mobile. To see each individual tag, type in or copy/paste the tag into the search bar at the top of my blog. I’m looking into why this isn’t working, so please bare with me! This will be updated as I create new tags!
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I posted 8,548 times in 2022
109 posts created (1%)
8,439 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@captain-castaway
@nunnatheinsanegerbil
@liselicanis
@tharkflark1
@theabstruseanon
I tagged 456 of my posts in 2022
#my art - 36 posts
#soundy sounds - 32 posts
#snake - 24 posts
#my writing - 21 posts
#gabi'sart - 21 posts
#ao3 - 21 posts
#snakes - 20 posts
#personal shenanigans - 20 posts
#fnaf - 17 posts
#kh - 16 posts
Longest Tag: 111 characters
#agustín really said: 'i'm going to sit away as far as possible from my wife otherwise i'll tell her everything'
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I love doing puzzles 🤗
See the full post
48 notes - Posted February 2, 2022
#4
Okay look, the next couple people to pick 5-10 things out of this list will get a fic written specifically for them with all of them included. You don’t even have to follow me.
These are mostly guidelines. You can suggest characters or tropes from other things not mentioned here but I may ask for a substitution. (i.e. probably won’t write romance rn)
Honestly weirder combinations are more likely to get you your fic faster, go ham
Send me an ask or message or reply with your name attached.
Okay to choose a limited number of characters (4 or less probably) from any combination these fandoms, though I may ask for substitutes if I don’t know a character super well:
Aldnoah.zero
Astro Boy
Attack on Titan
Avatar
Avatar the last Airbender
Banana Fish
Batman/justice league/young justice
Black Butler
Boku no Hero
Cells at work
Danny Phantom
Durarara
Encanto
Final Fantasy VII
FNAF Security Breach
Fruits Basket
How to Train you Dragon
Given
Kingdom Hearts
Magic Kairo/Detective Conan
Megamind
Miraculous Ladybug
Ouran High School Host Club
Rise of the Guardians
Sanders Sides
See the full post
52 notes - Posted January 17, 2022
#3
Greg Bot FNAF au (Animatronic Gregory)
Fazbear Entertainment decides to create an army of human-looking animatronics called Greg Bots (human children of different genders, personalities, ethnicities, ranging from 11-19)
Read on Ao3 instead: Greg Bot FNAF AU
2 or 3 of them are introduced at the start of each night in the Fazbear Pizzaplex as children being brought into work for the company.
**
“If you are lost or scared or need help, please feel free and welcome to reach out to one of our little helpers in the purple vests. Gregory, say hi!” *wave*
“Hi guys! I’m Gregory Fazbear and I’m one of the free roaming guides tonight. Don’t be afraid to stop me if you have questions!”
**
They are around to help and give subtle assistance to those struggling, make the place seem more lively, and be an example to the kids. Sometimes they help collect kids out of the daycare play structures.
Different ages of kids: Gregory (11) being the youngest. Also have 13 15 17 19 plus a 21 and 24 yo behind service/ticket desks. The only human around is usually just the security guard and a couple people in maintenance and on cameras, maybe a bouncer.
However, in addition to the different models, there are also several copies of each model. So there are ~5 Gregory’s for example. Because the Pizzaplex is so large, and because each model is all on their own network frame, the Greg Bots make sure that no one sees doubles of them.
With this shared mental network, there is no need to give individual copies of the same model different names because they are functionally only one being with multiple bodies around gathering and sharing the same information.
They are seen walking into staff doors only for another one to show up out of a different set a few minutes later, giving the illusion that all the backstage doors are connected and also that the bots are taking time to eat and rest throughout the night.
Greg and co can also knock hands (high fives!) with other Greg Bot models to exchange info, looks like a hand off between shifts to other people. Notifying other bots can be done silently, and sometimes emergencies necessitate broadband communication (which can be picked up by other communication devices) or quick high five chains.
Some additional thoughts:
There is sometimes a slight pause when they are asked a question to let them search the database/web for an answer.
Greg Bots can pretend to eat but must go and incinerate/dispose of it later behind the scenes.
Greg Bots tend to have pretty severe linguistic code switches, depending on who they are talking to (i.e. very professional with the human security guards, super excited or comforting with the kids, very relaxed with the animatronics, etc.)
Regarding the Glamrocks:
Freddie, with his anxieties, actually loves when he gets the chance to talk to the Greg Bots, especially the younger ones. It means he gets to hang out with kids without worrying about being careful with his strength or words. (Angry parents terrify him unless they are actually cruel/bad parents. Then he’s ready to square up.)
Monty tends to use the Greg Bots as a barrier between him and the children as he struggles with interacting with them sometimes. He’s also been known to hang out with some of the older teen models or do little shows for the normal kids watching. He’s one of the more chill animatronics to work with.
Roxy actually really struggles with the existence of the Greg Bots. She already has insecurities about her place in the Glamrocks and a whole new model of very advanced animatronics does not help. She will play nice in front of the kids, but she definitely has some snippy words for them when they all head backstage. The Greg Bots definitely give each other silent looks when they have to work with her.
Chica loves all the Greg Bots, instant friends with each of them. The more enthusiastic Greg Bots would rather work with Chica than anyone else, and they’re often seen hanging out with each other outside of working hours.
Some Fun POVs to explore in this universe:
Animatronics
Gregory himself as he works
Freddie or the other Glamrocks
Human Workers
New security guard
See the full post
56 notes - Posted January 13, 2022
#2
Designing the Central Heart Hotel Station with @tharkflark1
See the full post
64 notes - Posted February 22, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
In light of the Roe vs Wade overturn, I’m asking all of you to be safe and be careful. I will post some links on ways to keep yourself safe when buying contraceptives or birth control and places that you will be able to receive the life saving care that is absolutely necessary and where to find places that will allow you to get your tubes tied without written consent of a male spouse.
This overturn will end in a lot of women dead. Please help each other to not be one of them.
https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTR14X3MC/?k=1
^^ tips on how to stay off the grid and safe in period, pregnancy, and abortion communications
https://linktr.ee/fran.ish?utm_source=linktree_profile_share<sid=32b968e0-6755-4cd2-88fc-6db491c2454b
^^ lists of who will provide tubal sterilization and vasectomies
292 notes - Posted June 26, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Touch || Lee Jeno - VII.
AU | soulmate au
pairing | OC x high-school!Jeno
genre | slow burn, strangers to friends, friends to lovers, soulmates; fluff & angst
word count | 6,301
trigger warning | 16+ strong language, sexual innuendos, blood, death, kidnapping, assault, violence
description | In a world where everyone has a soulmate, but not everyone is destined to meet their other half, Ru didn't think she could be an exception. After all, what kind of story starts with an ordinary, teenage orphan like her? However, all that changed when her eyes met his: big, dark and mysterious.
Masterlist!
PART I | PART II | PART III | PART IV | PART V | PART VI | PART VII | PART VIII
author's note | I know I said I was going to be inactive but I didn't wanna leave y'all high and dry, you know? I usually wait until I'm finished with five chapters before publishing one post, but I figured that'd take forever so I'll just post one chapter now, and later when I finish the next chapter I'll just update this post and add it here. So keep an eye out! :)
ALSO, don't forget to like or reblog or just interact with this story, it'd mean the world to me asdjaoihowe alright— to the story!!!
chapter thirty one.
Bright, clear skies painted the horizon a vibrant shade of blue, the warm afternoon air setting the lively Friday mood at the local railway station. The outdoor platform was completed with a bustling crowd, each individual headed off in their own directions.
"Do you think he left?" Jaemin wondered hastily over the simultaneous chatter.
"He couldn’t have—" Ru slithered between the tight space ahead of the boys— "the train doesn’t leave for another ten minutes!"
They continued to push hurriedly through the crowd, and despite the obvious urgency tugging at them, Ru was hopeful— the skies were a good indication of it.
"This way," Jeno gestured to their left. His hand was glued to the small of her back, his body hovering behind her as they continued to speed-walk through the rush of people that day, eyes peeled for their best friend.
They slipped between groups, and Ru looked up at the digital text display that had the time. Ru swallowed down the little hint of anxiety she had of barely missing the boy. Down an escalator they went, bounding down the steps as its mechanics pushed to do the same.
She parted her way through another opening in between people; the crowd was starting to dissipate.
Just in the distance, she spotted her friend: he was leaning against a station pillar, looking down boredly at the ticket in his hand.
"Renjun!" Her light voice fluttered through the air, loud enough for Renjun to catch.
He looked up, shocked to see the rest of his friends jogging in his direction; Jaemin threw him an excited wave as they moved towards him in almost a huddle.
"Ru…" Renjun pushed himself off of the pillar, eyes darting between his boys and the slightly over-enthusiastic girl.
"Oh—" Ru engulfed him in a tight hug— "thank god you’re not gone yet."
Renjun returned the hug, although his sight lingered on the rest of the boys standing behind her. He soon loosened himself from Ru, eyes fluttering in the direction of one particular boy.
"What are you guys…"
Renjun’s words trailed off slowly as Jeno pulled four tickets from his front pocket, flashing it at Renjun nonchalantly.
Silence ensued between the group. Renjun gulped, finally holding against the boy in front of him a steady gaze. He jutted his chin lightly at Jeno— "what made you change your mind?"
Jeno’s eyes shifted in Ru’s direction.
Ru took his side, linking her fingers around his for silent support.
Jeno cleared his throat. "My dad…"
Ru felt him squeeze her hand lightly, maybe unconsciously he did. "He died yesterday."
Renjun’s eyes bulged— "shit, I’m sorry…"
Surprisingly, Jeno chuckled indifferently, shrugging— "our relationship was fucked, there’s nothing to be sorry about."
Jeno swallowed, drawing his lips into a thin line. "But messed up or not, he’s dead. There’s nothing I can change, even if I wanted to. Not anymore."
"But you—" he nodded lightly— "you still have a chance with your mom. You still have family, and there’s no way in hell I’m keeping you from it."
Ru didn’t know why, but she felt a little prick in her eyes. She let out a shaky breath, watching as Renjun’s shoulders untangled on his sides. A crooked smile formed on his face. "I appreciate it."
Before she knew it, Jeno pulled Renjun into a bone-crushing hug. The rest gave them space, watching in awe the sweet scene before them. They almost didn’t notice a patterned announcement bell ringing in the air above them.
"Attention: this is the final call for passengers boarding train number 5, departure time, 18:15. The train will depart from Platform 9 according to schedule. Attention: this is the final call…"
"Alright guys," Jaemin interrupted the moment, "time to go."
Immediately, Donghyuck lit up in little jumps— "dibs on the window seat!"
Jeno let go of the hug with one arm still over Renjun’s shoulder. "No no, you don’t get to call dibs, we’ll follow the assigned number."
The two stared at each other. There was a beat of silence as Donghyuck squinted his eyes suspiciously. Jeno mirrored the mischievous boy’s stance. And all of a sudden—
"I CALL DIBS!" Donghyuck roared before he dashed into the crowd towards the train. Jeno wasted no time zooming after the boy— "OI!" He screamed as his figure disappeared in between people, leaving Jaemin, Renjun and Ru in heaps of laughter.
The trio jogged after the two. Ru realized then that she might be a little out of shape; by the time they reached the train door, she was taking shallow breaths. Jaemin stepped onto the train cabin where Jeno and Donghyuck had already dashed into.
Renjun stepped onto the cabin after Jaemin, but paused. Ru almost bumped into him when he turned around.
"Hey, Ru?"
She looked up at him expectantly.
A tiny smirk lingered on his lips. "You’re shit at keeping secrets, you know?"
Ru broke into a little chuckle. She raised her eyebrows, giving him a knowing look— "you’re welcome."
Renjun rolled his eyes playfully; he leaned down and gave her a quick peck on the top of her head before strolling into the cabin. Ru could only tsk— but deep down, she was content. She followed Renjun into a cabin on their left.
The orange sunlight drowned the cabin with a honey-like glow, the white noise of the already-seated passengers, all of them busy with their own little lives.
Light shadows followed them eagerly, unnoticed by Ru as she watched a mother help her eight year old child get settled in the seat across from her. She had never actually been on a train before, much less one that had seats facing each other the way this one did.
Since Renjun had bought his ticket separately from the rest of them, he ended up with a seat a few rows down from where their group sat, which was a pair of two-seaters facing each other. She could see the pout on his face as she plopped onto his seat next to a lanky businessman.
Ru placed her hefty backpack on the aisle seat; Jeno had proudly taken up the window seat next to her. For some reason Donghyuck ended up with the aisle seat in front of her, Jaemin sitting snuggly by the window. She didn’t miss Donghyuck’s scrunched nose when she excused herself to the toilet.
She normally hated using the toilet in public, but she was surprised by the cleanliness of the toilets onboard the cabin. She ended up washing her hands twice on the tiny little sink they had. She would’ve washed her hands a third time, but she felt the phone in her pocket buzz.
Mrs. Choi:
Have a safe trip, dear!
A little sigh escaped her. Maybe it was relief, maybe a little hint of sadness.
Mrs. Choi was very understanding about Ru’s sudden trip, even insisting that she take some allowance money for the journey. Most parts of her believed leaving the house for the weekend might actually be a good thing, but when Mrs. Choi hugged her, with both arms cradling her like she never wanted to let go… Ru wasn’t so sure anymore.
She smiled subtly at her phone before typing in a quick response.
Ru:
I will Mrs. Choi
Ru:
See you soon :)
The moment she clicked send on the messages, loud knocks rapped against the bathroom door. She fumbled for her phone, stuffing it in her pocket as she called out awkwardly, "occupied!"
It didn’t matter— the impatient passenger knocked again, harder this time. Ru sighed in exasperation.
"Jeez…" She unlocked the bathroom door, but before she could even pull, the force from the other side of the door sent her stumbling backwards.
She protested in indignation— "hey!"
As soon as the figure stepped into the bathroom, however, she let out an involuntary sigh of relief. She rolled her eyes as the boy shuffled into the tight space and closed the door behind him. Her hands were on her hips as she stared at him.
"Very gentle."
Jeno almost snorted in response. "Sorry."
One would assume this was the time to explain himself, but Jeno merely stood there, looking at her with that silly smirk on his face. Ru gave up— "alright, what are we doing?"
The boy chuckled at her confusion. "Nothing—" he shrugged— "it’s just, we haven’t really had time alone since, you know…"
His eyes trailed down to her lips, and she never saw it coming: the way his hands moved gracefully across her back, the other cupping her cheek like they belonged together. His thumb caressed her bottom lip gently— "this."
Just like that, her knees didn’t know how to function. All of a sudden, in her head she was back out on the street at the break of dawn earlier today. The way her legs melted into jelly, how her mind was wiped clean of all thought when he kissed her mouth. To think that it only happened this morning— it felt like another time of its own.
A shiver ran down her spine— god, she shouldn’t be thinking this right now. She shook her head, looking up at him with a raised eyebrow.
"In the bathroom, though?"
"The guys are kinda hogging the space."
Ru scoffed playfully. "Hyuck?"
"Mhm." Jeno had leaned closer to her, chin jutted as his eyes had only one focus, and it was not the boys.
His lips danced around the corners of her lips. Closer, she begged in her head. The way he leaned in just enough for their bottom lips to graze each other, it drove her crazy. But she was almost desperate to find out just how crazy she could get for him— for this.
Nevermind the fact that they were in a cramped toilet— Ru could stay like this forever, and he could tease her like this for the rest of her life—
Knock, knock!
The couple pulled away. The remnants of her erratic heartbeats left her taking a deep, deep breath as she stared at nothing in particular. Jeno rolled his eyes, glaring at the door behind him.
"Occupied!"
⭒⭒⭒
Dim fluorescent lights hung over the enclosed space, poorly illuminating the drowsy passengers onboard Train 5. Beyond the windows, the rich, black night enveloped their view, speckles of city lights blurring past them in a nostalgic, midnight haze.
Ru stretched her back a little, although her movements were limited; Jeno was fast asleep with his head on her lap, his legs boyishly draped against the window. She had tucked him in with his own jacket a while back and he was knocked out ever since. She admired the way his body rose and fell ever-so-slightly and her fingers traced loose strands of his hair, afraid to wake him up.
The train didn’t end up being as crowded as Ru had expected it to be— in fact, when the train departed, there were a lot of empty seats around them, which included four seats directly across the aisle from them.
That’s how Jaemin and Donghyuck ended up hogging two seats each: Jaemin had his things sprawled neatly on the window seat while he leaned rigidly on the aisle seat. Donghyuck had used his backpack as a pillow, laying his entire body across the two seats, legs dangling off of the aisle’s hand rest. Renjun then claimed the two seats in front of Ru; he was on his phone, back propped against the window with his feet up on the seat.
Jeno, well... he was good enough next to her.
"Look at him, so adorable," she cooed to herself.
Renjun shifted in his seat. Ru looked up and gave him a giggly smile before looking back down at the sleeping boy. "With his squishy cheeks—" she poked his honey-soft cheeks lightly— "and fluffy hair—" she ran her fingers gently through his ruffled hair, her index and middle finger finding its way to part a section of hair where she knew best—" and perfect soul mark."
"Hey, lemme see his soul mark." Renjun sat up from his position, peering into the section of hair she parted on Jeno’s head.
Jaemin was leaning against his hand rest, now also curious about the soul mark.
"I wanna see it too," Donghyuck whined as he struggled to get up from his lying position.
"Looks like two little beans," Jaemin commented as he observed the pigment.
Ru looked up at Jaemin with a flattered giggle. "It does, doesn’t it?"
The group continued to admire the small pigmentation, probably from the lack of better things to do. They had been stuck in the train for a few hours now, and they’ve gone through just about all the activities you could do on a train.
They started the journey scenery-watching and sharing snacks. When the sun had set and they no longer had a view, they resorted to casual conversation and games like truth or dare. After the group had ganged up on Donghyuck and dared him three times in a row to ask for bizarre items from the older lady on the seat directly behind him (gum, wet tissue and her last biscuit), he got grumpy and they all eventually fell asleep in their own time.
Donghyuck swung his legs aggressively as he fished out a chip from his bag of potato chips. "Alright, let’s see your soul mark—" he chewed unceremoniously.
Ru choked on her saliva— "huh?"
"Do yours look like beans too?" Jaemin asked.
"Uh—" her eyes shifted awkwardly, and she found her fingers cradling the boy on her lap. "Well, no, yeah no—" she shook her head— "that’s a secret."
"What? Come on— we’re your best friends!"
Ru stuck her tongue out at Donghyuck— "seeecret."
"It’s somewhere embarrassing, is it?"
Ru whipped her head in Renjun’s direction— he was smirking, eyebrows wiggling. She gasped, grabbing the closest thing within her reach, which happened to be Jeno’s jacket, and chucking it towards the laughing boy.
Below, Jeno shifted in his space. Even though his eyes were closed, it was obvious he was awake now.
"Yo," Jaemin called out to Jeno, "why doesn’t your girlfriend wanna show us her soul mark?"
Unlike Ru, Jeno was completely unbothered— with his eyes still shut, he smirked; he reached out for Ru’s hand, wrapping it closer around him and over his chest— "because that’s for me to know, and for you guys to imagine."
Donghyuck huffed in annoyance, "oi, seriously—"
He lifted his arm up high in exasperation, only to have the contents of his bag of chips come flying out and showering the lady right behind him.
"Ohmygod, I am so sorry—" Donghyuck began bowing profusely at the flustered lady, the topic of Ru’s soul mark far out of all their minds now.
He was lucky they were already at the end of their journey; by the time Donghyuck collected all the stray pieces of chips from the floor, the conductor had announced that they were due to arrive in approximately five minutes.
The group tidied their belongings, still snickering at the flustered Donghyuck. The train finally came to a halt and the five of them stood up on their spots until the passengers were allowed to start filing out of the train.
The cold air nipped at their skins as they walked along the dimly-lit platform; Renjun led the group down along the rest of the tired crowd, everyone walking towards a general direction. Ru tugged at her backpack, suddenly feeling the weight of all her belongings for the weekend ‘trip’. She had to remind herself that this wasn’t so much a ‘trip’ as it was a ‘mission’. They were here to do one thing, and that was their priority for the weekend.
"So Renjun, I’m assuming you have a plan?" Jaemin piped up from behind him, trying his best not to bump into the people around him.
"Kinda."
Kinda. She looked up at Jaemin who returned her gaze. He shrugged nonchalantly, mouthing a little ‘good enough’.
The crowd flowed in one direction, but the moment they reached the train station exit, the people dispersed like ants into their own designated means of transport— some began to line up for taxis and others walked down the pedestrian sidewalk lined with flickering street lights. Renjun was like the latter; he led the rest of them down the street, only looking at his phone every once in a while for directions.
"There's a bus station near here and it’ll take us straight to the motel."
"Motel?" Donghyuck tilted his head. "We’re not going to your mom’s?"
"It’s too late right now, and besides—" Renjun adjusted the straps on his backpack— "the motel’s close to the address I got."
The rest were too drained to argue, so they followed the boy for another three minutes until they reached the bus. The public vehicle was conveniently empty; the five of them clambered onto the back of the bus, huddling despite the spaciousness.
Ru ended up squished on the side by the window, although she could barely see what was outside. She didn’t think sitting down on a train for almost four hours could make her feel so exhausted; she leaned her head against the window and felt the cold material of the glass press against the temple.
She tried to get some sleep, but every time the bus made a stop— for essentially nobody— her eyes would jolt her into consciousness. She would trace the neon lights of the closest building, a sign with a fat, red bird that said ‘The Cardinal’— must be a hotel of some sort— before the bus hissed again and left nothing but smoke in its wake.
She was barely awake when Renjun finally shook the rest of the group awake— "guys, this is our stop."
The four of them followed him out of the stop and back into the deserted night, walking compliantly down the sidewalk as the sounds of crickets muffled the air around them. They only had the streetlights to guide them by now, but it was good enough.
After a few confusing turns down narrowing streets, they finally reached their final destination for the night.
The eerie glow of the blue motel sign illuminated the night in flickers, hovering over its foggy premise like a bad omen at the start of a horror movie. The dewy air curled at her skin, the finishing touches of a fever dream.
"Renjun, if we fucking die here it’s all your fault."
"Shut up."
________________________________________
chapter thirty two.
After Donghyuck adamantly insisted that ‘this is where kids like us go to die’, the group practically had to drag him into the lobby.
Behind the reception was a sullen-looking woman in her late thirties, although from the way she was frowning at the group, Ru thought she could pass for a sixty-year-old.
"Hi," Renjun greeted cautiously, "one room please."
The lady gave them a low grunt before disappearing somewhere into the back room. The five of them stood awkwardly in silence.
"Just one room?" Jeno raised his eyebrow.
"Do I look like I’m made of money?"
Before anyone could answer, the lady waddled back into view, holding a key in her hand. Renjun reached for his pocket, pulling out a wad of neatly-folded cash. Without exchanging words, she handed him the key as he switched it for the money. The lady took the money with no hesitation, and she began counting them expertly.
The group waited, the subtle friction of cash rustling in the cold silence of the lobby. Ru caught Jeno’s eyes, and had to stifle a laugh. He looked just as uncomfortable and confused as the rest of the boys (although Jaemin looked like he was enjoying himself just fine).
The rustling bills finally came to a halt, and the lady was done. However, she still didn’t say anything. She merely looked up, gave the group a slightly disgusted once-over before looking back at Renjun and nodding.
He took that as a good sign; "let’s go," Renjun gestured.
They walked back out to the open space where the line of motel doors awaited. The motel parking lot was practically deserted— there was only one dusty van parked a little further down the lot, probably owned by the motel owners. Ru spotted a vending machine at the end of the open porch; she wondered if they had any good snacks.
"Room 116," Renjun muttered to himself.
Their room was on the ground floor, right in the middle of the line of motel rooms. A muffled click resounded as Renjun unlocked the door, swinging it open.
For a moment, the group stared into the room in silence. Ru didn’t know how it was possible, but the one-star motel looked exactly the way she had pictured it on the way here: two tiny twin beds that took up most of the room, stealing her attention with its complicated flower-patterned sheets, the dull gray carpeting, the vintage lamp and single flower vase that stood side by side on a rickety desk next to the TV set— she didn’t know people still had these boxy tube TVs around.
"Anyone else get the vibes that some old lady died here?" Renjun muttered off-handedly.
They all filed into the stuffy room; they plopped their bags on a worn-out sofa by the drawn windows next to the door.
"Can we all fit on these beds?" Jeno pushed his palm down against the mattress— it was very springy.
Renjun stretched his limbs, scratching the back of his head— "you know what, I’ll go ask that lady at the front desk for a spare mattress or something."
Donghyuck came out from the bathroom with a particular look on his face. "How much do you wanna bet she’s the old lady that died in here?"
Ru snorted at his comment.
There was a moment’s pause; the boys gave her funny looks.
Slowly, the silence dissolved into little snickers that surrounded the room.
"You sound like a 5-year-old high on cough medicine or something," Donghyuck chuckled.
"Hey!" She looked over at Jeno to see him laughing along. Ru rolled her eyes, sitting at the edge of one twin bed. Donghyuck was probably right, though— she was drowsy and she looked like a mess.
Renjun and Jaemin soon left for the front desk with Donghyuck trailing along because he wanted to ‘look around’. The door shut behind them, leaving the room in its original, dank state. Jeno slipped off of the hoodie he had on, draping it over the sofa.
"Hey," Ru called out to him.
He turned, giving her a mildly intrigued look. When she didn’t speak, his lips grew into a timid smile. "What?"
Ru smiled innocently— "nothiiing, just come here, will you?"
She held out her hands, beckoning for him to come closer. With his eyebrows furrowed curiously, he walked over to her and she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him in. She looked up at his tall figure and their eyes met.
"Come here—" she reached for his face. As she cupped his cheeks, he leaned forward. Her light giggles drove him over the edge; he pushed her back slowly until her body was laying on the hard mattress.
His body hovered over her, trapping her between his arms— she didn’t mind it at all. She blinked back her fatigue and stared up into his glittery eyes. It was hard to focus on anything else when she had these eyes in front of her.
"How are you?" Ru whispered.
She could feel the bed shake beneath her from his amused laughter. "I’m quite alright, miss."
"No—" her chuckles faded slowly; her eyes glistened as she formed for him a comforting smile— "how are you holding up?"
The boy sighed. If he were to break down, to tell her nothing in his life was right, she swore it would’ve been at this moment— his eyes said it all. But instead, he gave her a wistful smile and whispered back, "I’m okay."
Ru could hear it in his voie— she knew there was a reason he only whispered it. But all she knew to do was to smile back. So she did; she held his face, stroked his cheek slowly with her thumb. A sigh escaped her lips, and she saw the way he observed her features so delicately.
Slowly, he lifted one hand, and he pushed back a strand of hair from her face.
"I’ve got you," he smiled. "I’ll always be okay."
Her heartbeats were slow but rich, just like a soothing lullaby—
"GUYS—"
Donghyuck burst into the room, but halted at the scene. Jeno scrambled to stand up; Ru fixed her hair as she sat up straight on the edge of the bed.
The boy by the door scowled. "Jesus, get a room, will you?"
"What?" Jeno enunciated, lips jutted in annoyance.
Donghyuck was quick to forget what he literally just saw; he began jumping in his spot, right as Renjun and Jaemin came into view with thick blankets in their hands.
Jaemin lifted the cloth for the rest to see. "They didn’t have mattresses, but they had these—"
"—forget about the mattresses, they have a pool!"
At that moment Ru swore she saw the inner child take over the boys in the room. Jeno tilted his head, his famous little pout forming.
"A pool?"
Donghyuck threw a fist in the air animatedly— "hell yeah!"
"Huh," Renjun muttered off-handedly as he walked towards the bed to drop the blankets in his hands. "Didn’t think they’d have a pool in this shitty place."
"Well, come on!" Donghyuck practically screamed— "let’s go!"
Jaemin gave the ecstatic boy a skeptical look— "what, right now?"
"Yes, when else??"
"Uh, when we’ve gotten some sleep and I don’t know—" Jaemin craned his neck forward sarcastically— "not smell like hours of train?"
Donghyuck tsked— "maybe you smell like train, but I smell like an adveeeenture!"
Before any of the other boys could react, Donghyuck reached forward and grabbed Ru’s hands with a pleading look— "come ooon, at least check out the pool?"
She really didn’t know what came over this boy. "Uh, yeah, sure Hyuck—"
He tugged her with such a force that sent her launching before him; she almost tripped over her own feet, stumbling out of the hotel room after the excited boy. It was admirable, really, the energy this boy had. She could hear the other boys mutter little words of exasperation behind her, but they still followed anyway.
Donghyuck led her back in the direction they came from, although instead of going left where the lobby was, he made a beeline for the opening on their right which led them to an opening.
The motel buildings surrounded the outdoor space like four walls, doors lining up its facade three stories up. In the middle was a rectangular pool, its gleaming, neon blue vibe calling them closer in its serene ambience.
The boy in front of her wasted no time running towards the pool, still in his t-shirt and shorts. He jumped into the water, screaming— "CANON BALL!"— and leaving a ginormous splash in his wake.
His loud giggles echoed into the night, and she could hear everything clearly— the ripples of the clear, chlorine-scented water, the amused ‘ooh’s from the boys behind her, the gurgling of the swimming pool filter, a distant buzzing she couldn’t place.
A small gust of wind blew past her as Jeno and Renjun ran into the water. They let out blissful screams as they joined Donghyuck with a carefree smile on their faces. Jaemin walked by the water, feeling his feet on the water calmly.
He turned around and gave her a gleaming look. "You coming?"
A smile formed on her face.
⭒⭒⭒
"How’d you get this one?"
Renjun lowered the neckline of his wet t-shirt to fully expose the skin on his shoulder blade. He leaned against the pool ladder calmly as he shrugged— "you know, I don’t actually remember."
"What? How could you not remember that giant scar?" Ru bobbed in the water and leaned forward to squint at the diagonal pigment.
The group had been chilling in the pool for almost an hour now— god knows what time it was. Of course, at first the boys were busy cannon-balling into the pool and trying to drown each other (except for Jaemin, who only sat on the side of the pool with his legs dipped in). Ru wasn’t safe either— Donghyuck kept tugging her legs from under the pool; she couldn’t walk two steps without getting a heart attack from the boy.
It was only when Jeno was rough-housing Renjun, did she spot the jagged scar on Jeno’s lower back where his shirt had floated up. One thing led to another, and it turned out that the boys had a lot of scars to show for.
"It gets hard to keep count after a while." Jaemin commented, while Ru observed a scar on the back of his upper calf under the water.
Donghyuck floated her way, his mouth blowing bubbles on the surface of the water while the rest of his body was submerged. He stood up next to her, showing his pinky— "look at my pinky, it’s kinda bent! And Renjun’s ankle clicks every time he rotates it."
"Just how many fights have you guys gotten into??"
Donghyuck sighed in his place. She watched as he stood up from his bent position, suddenly towering over her. He shook his head, almost like he was disappointed she had asked. He draped his arm over her shoulder as he began what she could assume was some sort of weird rant. "Alright, Ru, come here—" he bent down and pulled her in until their heads were practically touching— "look, you see that boy over there?"
Jeno was next to Jaemin by the side of the pool, eyebrows raised skeptically at Donghyuck.
Donghyuck nodded in a know-it-all manner. "Yeah, that’s right, your lovely boyfriend—" the boy wiggled his pointer finger in Jeno’s direction— "don’t be fooled by his eye-smile and shoulder-raising giggles or whatever."
Jeno looked incredulous; he was about to protest but Donghyuck interrupted him.
"He’s not a good boy. You know, I think he probably has the most scars out of all of us—"
Jeno swung his legs in the water, splashing Donghyuck (and a little bit of Ru) with a sour face.
"At least I don’t have a scar on my ass—"
"—OI!" Donghyuck gasped indignantly; he let go of Ru to splash Jeno— "it was a secret, you dick."
The group burst into laughter; Jeno stifled his laughter as he blocked the angry boy’s attacks. Perhaps he liked riling Donghyuck up, as he continued. "And you didn’t even get it from a fight."
By now, Donghyuck was sporting a serious pout; he looked like an angry little bear, if Ru had to describe it. Splashes were exchanged, getting more aggressive by the second. Ru couldn’t help but laugh, seeing Jaemin get caught in the crossfires— he was not having it.
"Alright, stop splashing," Jaemin groaned as he stood up. He wrung the edge of his soaked shirt and shook the droplets out of his hair— "I’m gonna go get some snacks from the vending machine."
"Oh yeah!" Renjun lit up, turning to get out of the water, "I want something too."
Ru wasn’t hungry, so she stayed in place and watched as her soulmate got up as well. Just as she was thinking how she wanted to see his smile, the boy turned around to look down at her.
She instantly lit up, and it seemed her expression caught him off guard. His eyes brightened into crescents as he admired her for a second.
"Do you want anything?" He asked, barely audible.
With her lips curved into a tiny smile, she shook her head 'no'. Jeno raised his eyebrows and was about to say something, but Ru never got to hear it; Donghyuck splashed her suddenly with such great force she almost choked—
"I DO!" Donghyuck raised his hand like a little child.
Jeno scrunched his nose in disgust. After a moment’s hesitation, he held out his hand at the boy in the pool— "money."
"My wallet—" Donghyuck pointed at the pool chair.
Jeno complied, walking over to pick up the worn-out brown wallet. Instead of handing it to its owner though, Jeno started combing through its contents with a little snicker, to which Donghyuck whined, "OI, privacy!!"
Jeno merely chuckled, taking some cash from the wallet before tossing it at the boy. He caught it expertly, opening its contents as the rest of the boys walked around the corner and out of sight. Ru let her body float closer to the edge, her legs guiding her weight as she crossed her arms over the side of the pool.
Next to her, Donghyuck was busy fumbling with his wallet. That was when Ru noticed the tiny, worn-out photograph wedged in there with his crumpled money and discount cards. She instinctively leaned closer, squinting her eyes until it registered to her what she was seeing.
A little pout formed on her face— "aaaw," she cooed, "is that your baby picture?"
"Huh?" Donghyuck looked up at her before looking back down at his wallet. "Oh, no—" he dug out the wrinkled image— "it’s my little sister."
Oh.
An icy sensation spread throughout her chest; she blinked uncomfortably, hardly looking at the boy. God, why did she have to be so nosy? She finally glanced at him, spluttering— "right, I’m sorry, I totally forgot—"
"Wait, why are you sorry?"
Donghyuck’s eyebrows were raised skeptically. He showed no signs of awkwardness or tension, just pure curiosity. His child-like expression brought her back, and she let out a quiet sigh of relief. "I, uh—" she chuckled mindlessly— "yeah, I don’t know."
"Wanna see?"
He shoved the picture in her direction. She smiled reluctantly, taking the worn-out photograph in her hands as she held it up, just enough for the dim lighting to shine on it. Donghyuck scooted closer next to her, looking at the picture with her.
"Lee Bobae," he introduced to Ru.
Just like that, a smile grew on Ru’s face. She caressed the picture in between her fingers, admiring the adorable little baby in the picture— she had sparkly eyes, the tiniest round nose and thin, curly tufts of chocolate hair.
"Look at her chubby little cheeks!" Ru gasped, "I could just squish them forever…"
Donghyuck laughed at her reaction, nodding along. "She’s twelve this year."
Ru looked up at the boy in shock— "twelve?"
He nodded, with that they-grow-up-so-fast type of look she never thought she’d even see on a boy like him.
"Wow…" She shook her head as she stared at the picture. "Not so little anymore."
"But she’s doing well," he affirmed; he took the picture slowly from Ru, grasping it with both his hands. "I can feel it."
"She gets good grades, eats her vegetables. Probably has a lot of friends, and I bet they all line up to hang with this chubby little girl—" he giggled, almost to himself— "who wouldn’t, eh? And during summers, she’d go to Jeju Island with her parents because you can just tell she loves the ocean."
His eyes strayed from the picture and somewhere in the distance.
"And best of all, she doesn’t ever wonder how her brother’s doing, because she doesn’t know he exists."
God…
She didn’t know what to say. What could she say? That look on his face— nothing could change that.
He stuffed the picture back into the wallet, throwing the leathery item back on the pool chair, which landed on the edge, close to falling off.
There it was again, the distant buzzing the couldn’t quite place. She blinked, watching the unusually quiet boy.
"I think she’d like it if you existed."
The boy turned to face her and paused. "You think so?"
She didn’t know why they were whispering; she cleared her throat, nodding a little more enthusiastically than she probably should’ve— "well, yeah! Who wouldn’t want an adorable, cuddly bear as a brother?"
"Shut up—" Donghyuck rolled his eyes, shoving her playfully as ripples formed around them.
Their giggly little laughs echoed around the empty swimming pool, the neon of the motel sign barely providing them with light in the gloomy midnight. She almost forgot what they were just talking about, with the way he gave her his defying, ‘want-a-piece-of-me?’ expression as he splashed her with more water.
But the laughter died down eventually, and Donghyuck sighed in between fading snickers.
"Nah, but it’s better this way."
He nodded— for himself more than anyone else. "She’s doing too well for me to ruin it all."
He had convinced himself of it; it’s written in the finality of his tone. And as much as Ru wanted to hug him, or smack him in the back of the head— anything just to knock some sense into him— she couldn’t bring herself to oppose him.
Something told her that sentence alone might’ve been the only thing keeping him grounded.
And maybe it wasn't just him. They all see the vase, in its fractured state. It had been like this for a while now, and she knew all too well the way they tiptoed around it, admiring it like it never had to fall apart.
Someday, she thought. Someday, just like something scripted, the shards will crumble and fall down their bare feet until it hurts to lift them at all.
But funnily enough, these days it felt like someday had forgotten all about the five best friends.
So for now, she tiptoed.
"Are you sure?" She asked him.
He swung his head lazily in her direction, flashing her his big bear smile— "nope."
________________________________________
chapter thirty-three.
The chlorine-infused body of water wrapped her skin like a blanket; they've been eating snacks from the vending machine for God-knows-how-long now. Donghyuck and Renjun left earlier to use the shower, leaving Ru, Jaemin and Jeno in the silence of the night. She wallowed lazily and plopped a single piece of gummy bear in her mouth. "Mm—" she reached into the packet to pick out more, before handing them to Jeno— "red or green?"
Jeno rested his arm against the edge of the pool, the other snaking itself subtly against her waist. "Red."
She complied, bringing the candy to his mouth; he gladly swallowed the bear, smiling at her like a child. She then turned to Jaemin who was sitting on the pool chair.
"Ready?"
She stifled a laugh as he nodded enthusiastically. The boy opened his mouth dramatically as Ru positioned her arm. Her lips were pursed as she aimed for his mouth. She pulled her arm back before tossing the gummy bear and— it missed.
She snorted another laugh as the gummy bear hit him in the eye instead, bouncing down onto the slightly damp poolside floor. The trio were too drained to laugh, so they just snickered silently and watched the sad little gummy on the floor— what a waste.
"Jaemin!"
The three of them looked up in the direction of the voice; Renjun was peeking from the corner leading to their room, beckoning Jaemin to come up. "My turn to shower." Jaemin stood up from his chair, but not before looking at the two of them with a stern look— "don't stay out too long, okay? You'll get a cold."
Ru bobbed her head, scrunching her nose at the boy— "okay, mom."
Jaemin pursed his lips, giving Jeno an exaggerated control-your-woman look before walking back with his hands in his pockets. Jeno tightened his grip on her, his low chuckle drowned by the faint gurgling of the filter somewhere in the pool.
Ru looked up to meet his eyes. As she did so, it was like the rush of water got louder. Or maybe it was the blood rushing past her ears. She could never seem to get used to this— looking into his eyes, keeping them steady as he looked back into hers.
He observed her, and he knew. He couldn't help the little smirk that formed on his lips, watching as her eyes slanted in nervousness. There was something about her eyes— they glistened in its darkness.
"Do you know—" Ru cleared her throat, dropping her gaze so they fell down to his collarbone— "about the soulmates that can breathe underwater?"
"Where'd you hear that from?"
She chuckled timidly, looking down further at her intertwined fingers— "I don't remember."
Fuck, she's so cute.
He must've been grinning like an idiot; Ru looked up and squinted her eyes. "It's true! It's their astral capability. Apparently they Binded when they kissed underwater—" her right palm landed against his abdomen, clinging onto the damp fabric of his t-shirt—"isn't that cool?"
He'd be lying if he said it didn't make his breath hitch just a little bit. He subconsciously leaned against her palm, just to feel the heat radiate from the palm of her hand.
Just to tease her, he tilted his head— "what, breathing underwater—" he raised an eyebrow with a smirk— "or kissing underwater?"
The offended look on her face was everything— she blushed and looked away, scrunching her nose the way she did whenever she was frustrated, particularly with him. Then her eyes started flickering, shortly before she started to scrunch her nose like a reindeer. He was a few milliseconds away from making fun of her for it, but then he felt a subtle drop of water fall on his cheek. Then another one.
Before he knew it, he felt dozens of tiny, cold droplets fall all over them. They both looked up, watching the droplets land on them from a place unknown.
Jeno took her hand, gesturing at the hotel room. "Come on, let's get back inside."
He looked down at her, only to see her pouting at him. She shook her head, stubborn like a toddler. "I don't wanna."
Jeno gave her an incredulous look; he was mildly amused by her response. "You wanna get sick?" He raised his eyebrows— "I'm not taking care of you if you get sick."
"Yeah?" Ru squinted, looking forward with a little bit of attitude. "You're gonna leave your sick girlfriend all alone?"
Why'd she say it like that? He scrunched his eyebrows, a weird tingle running down the course of his spine. The rain began to pick up its strength, falling down on them like fat sprinkles. He didn't know what to feel about her mockery. He tried to think, but the harsh impact of rain on the pool around him was proving to be disruptive.
Soon enough, even the thrashing noise was too much for Ru. Her eyes were now barely opened from the way the rainwater rushed down her face. She could almost say it reminded her of one other pivotal moment in their relationship, but perhaps the noise was a little too loud for her to actually care.
"Alright, yeah," Ru nodded through the harsh downpour, "we should really get out of the pool."
She took his hand to lead him out of the pool, but then he grabbed her upper arm and called out, "wait."
He pulled her back so that the space between them was scarce. She looked at his glistening eyes, and even the increasingly deafening noise couldn't drown out the thumping she felt against her ribcage. Through her blurry vision, she watched the boy in front of her smirk as he leaned down—
"I don't wanna."
Damp, cherry lips connected with her quivering lips— her heart erupted into flames, keeping her warm in the cold, rainy night. He grabbed her, and she could feel him pull her in, destroying whatever space was left between them.
White noise, hard breaths and euphoria— out-of-focus like the rain that continued to thrash into the pool around them. She felt herself shivering, but she didn't care. All logic, all basic regards were dissipated as she slid her arms around his neck, just because she wanted everything of him.
Her eyes fluttered, but it was hard to open them without the rainwater getting in her eyes. It stung to look at him; she could only get a glimpse of his clumpy eyelashes before she had to close her eyes again.
He's here, was all she could register in her head. He's here, and he's mine.
She was running out of breath— she clung onto his shirt unconsciously, almost like she believed it could give her a few more seconds to taste his lips before she ran out of oxygen. She was beginning to feel dizzy when she felt her lips go cold; he pulled away first, chest heaving as he looked down at her.
She smiled blissfully, admiring the way his eyes were squinted— they must sting too. The downpour created a mist, making it hard to see beyond an arm's length. All she saw was him, and the water around them that danced like they were boiling, on fire. The rain was deafening, invading even her thoughts.
Ru cleared her throat, and raised her voice. "It's getting loud!"
A genuine smile spread across his lips as he ignored her, pulling her in. She barely got in a breath before he had her in his grip again, lips in symphonic harmony. The weight of his arm pulled her— guided her— slowly down the water.
They were sinking, slowly but surely. The pressure of the body of water finally reached her chest. She had closed her eyes by now, knowing it was useless to have them opened, but even then she could feel Jeno smile into the kiss, biting gently on her lower lip before the surface of the water finally reached their mouths.
One second the rain was abundant, but the next second it was gone.
Just like that, they were submerged, the downpour muted by the cold water that surrounded them, pushing them to each other. She didn't know how, but she could feel him better underwater.
She could hear her thoughts now, and they were just as noisy as the rain. She wanted to scream, because she didn't know how it was possible to care about someone the way she did this boy. She moved her fingers to cup his cheeks; she noticed the way they tensed from her touch.
She couldn't help but smile further— it was nice to know she had the same effect on him.
The muted pressure was building in her ears, water leaking into the kiss slowly, with the sole intention of drowning the two. She loved the feeling, the rush of being at the edge of unconsciousness— her lungs were burning from the lack of air.
She deepened the kiss one last time before her strength gave out; she pulled them both out of the water, simultaneously breaking the kiss.
The two were struggling for air, coughing out water in between muted giggles.
"You're crazy!" Ru yelled with the biggest grin on her face. He only laughed in response, his crescent eyes glistening just for her.
All of a sudden, they could hear Renjun scream from a distance— "do you guys want to get struck by lightning or what?? Get inside!"
⭒⭒⭒
Ru was settled comfortably on the floor, on top of the make-shift beds the boys had conjured up from the hotel blankets. The room was dark, except for the dull bedside lamp and the colors that bounced off of the TV. To be honest, Ru wasn't really a big fan of horror, but it seemed Jeno and Renjun were. On her right, Jeno sat with his legs outstretched, leaning against the single bed that Donghyuck was on; his eyes were glued to the squared box elevated in front of them. On her left, Renjun sat cross-legged, leaning forward a little more each time she glanced.
Her arms were crossed, her eyes positioned just below the screen so that she didn't have to stare at the scene directly. Her ears were peeled, wary of the silence and jumpy from the loud sound effects. God, it felt like they had been watching this for hours now.
She cleared her throat, looking curiously to her right. "When's this movie gonna end?" Ru whispered.
The boy hummed a little, shifting his hand so that they were now resting on her thigh. "Uuuh..."
Her eyebrows furrowed in disbelief. Did he even register what she had said—
A shrill scream exploded from the TV set, interrupting her thoughts as she let out an off-guard yelp; Jeno's hand was quickly flung away from her in shock.
The boy finally tore his gaze from the TV, giving her a confused look. "Are you scared?"
With her heart still scattered all over her insides, she gave him a bewildered look— "well, kinda!"
Jeno broke into a sympathetic, but slightly amused laugh; he immediately wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her closer with incredible ease. She glanced up at him with a little tsk— she should know by now what an oblivious boy she had.
She could hear him mutter a little sorry as she watched the tiny slit of light coming from underneath the bathroom door enlarge; Jaemin stepped out of the bathroom, ruffling his slightly damp hair as he approached the bed.
Even though Ru insisted that she could sleep on the blanket on the floor, or share the bed with someone, the boys (one boy in particular) were adamant that she got one bed all to herself. It was obvious that for the boys, sharing the twin-sized bed would be... challenging. But the boys decided it was better that two of them share the bed so that only two others would have to sleep on the floor.
"Yo, wake up," Ru could hear Jaemin grumble behind her. She looked behind her to see Jaemin towering over a knocked-out Donghyuck.
His leg was dangling off of one side of the bed, his body blissfully taking up the entirety of the bed. She stared, stifling a laugh as Jaemin sighed and began shaking the snoring boy.
Nothing.
The rest began to look back as well, the scene turning into a spectacle that would never have been entertaining if they weren't in the wee hours of the morning.
"Give up, Jaem," Jeno interrupted, an almost taunting smile gracing his lips.
Ru shifted under Jeno's arms, giving Jaemin a reassuring smile. "You can have my bed if you want."
"Nah, it's fine—" Jaemin took up the space next to Jeno, patting the boy's leg— "I'll just sleep next to you."
They all snuggled lazily in front of the TV, watching the final parts of the horror film— at least that's what Ru presumed; the main character's bloodied, face coated with sweat and tears as they approach an ominous location where she could only assume was where the 'boss battle' was going to take place. All horror-type films have final boss battles, right?
Ru was right; after a few more unnecessary but fitting jumps scares and one gaunt woman being banished back to Hell, the screen went blank. She slowly un-squinted her eyes as the TV began to flash contrasting scenes of bright and jubilant advertisements.
She took a deep breath, internally scoffing at the TV— such a terrible transition from what could be her worst nightmares, to a scene of a girl skipping blissfully through a meadow (even though she knew no woman on Earth ever smiled like that on her period).
"Oh, look—" Jeno pointed casually at the top right corner of the screen— "A Tale of Two Sisters plays next."
Another horror? She was about to protest when Renjun stood up from his spot, reaching for the remote. "Nope—" he clicked the off button, shutting down the TV— "we need to sleep now."
For some reason, this prompted everyone to look at Donghyuck again, who was still sprawled across the bed. Jeno huffed in exasperation, standing up to adjust the blankets they had arranged. "I'll sleep between the beds so you guys have more space," he said.
The other boys nodded mindlessly, letting Jeno drag one part of the make-shift bed they had made to put in between the twin beds.
"Are you sure you don't want to sleep on the bed?" Ru asked once more.
Jeno straightened his blanket before looking up at her with a smile. "I'm fine, you go ahead."
She whispered a little 'okay' and crawled lazily into bed. She snuggled under the covers, reaching for the bedside lamp before whispering to the rest of the boys— "goodnight, you guys."
A soft chorus of 'goodnight's can be heard from somewhere on the ground as the remaining light vanished with the rest of the night. She wanted to look at Jeno one more time, but it was too pitched-black for her to even see her own toes. So, she sighed and nestled her head on her pillow, ready to fall asleep.
Except it was impossible.
There she was, almost an hour in, ready for the drowsiness to take over her. But there was something about the way the bed creaks every so often, or the way the door handle would visibly jiggle just when she thought she was imagining things.
Was she imagining things?
Of course, she couldn't actually see the door handle properly— it was more like barely the silhouette of what she was 80% sure was the doorknob?
She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. It's all in your head, Ru, she mumbled to herself.
Of course she would be feeling this way— that's what horror movies do. All she needed to do was remind herself that it was just a movie, and her imagination is just stimulated with new ideas, is all. Right beside her on the ground was her soulmate, and three other boys who were sound asleep, because they're not pussies—
A sudden gurgling sound from the bathroom sent a cold shiver down her spine, and she bolted upright, the air flushed out of her lungs.
What. Was. That?
Just the plumbing, Ru, she scolded herself.
Since when did plumbing sound so... sinister? She tried to will herself into lying back down, but that was another war on its own. Almost like the demons in the room listened, the creaks faded away, leaving her with an eerie ringing in her ears.
Her eyes instinctively glided to her right. Even though she couldn't see him, she could feel him, ever-so-slightly. She wanted that to be enough, but to reiterate: she hated horror movies. She took one more filling breath, chewing at the bottom of her lips.
She leaned over the bed, hovering slightly over what would be Jeno, if she could see properly.
No, you'll wake him, she shook her head dismissively. She retreated from the empty space beside her, shrinking further into the flimsy fabric of her blanket. Things must be hard for him now, and the last thing she wanted was to disturb his good night's rest.
She dropped her head on top of the less-than-soft pillow. Her limbs were rigid, muscles tensed like it was waiting for any excuse for her to bolt out of the room and away from whatever ghost was lurking in the bathtub, or from the lady that might just crawl out of the stagnant TV.
Even in the tension, she felt her right hand slowly sliding further towards the end of the bed, silently until she felt her fingers fall down its side. Little by little, her hand started to stretch outwards until she could no longer stretch them. They were dangling hopelessly now, swinging lightly in hopes of finding another hand resting on the floor beside her.
It drove her crazy how much she always looked for him. Even when she had forced her body not to call out to him, her hands still found its way to seek his comfort, his presence. Ru from a few months would be gasping in shock, seeing her now. What happened to being alone, she truly wondered.
She blinked back her drowsiness, exhaling a tired breath. He's right next to you, Ru, you're alright... Just close your eyes and get this over with—
But before she could follow through with her thoughts, she felt an arm wrap over her waist, another gripping her dangling hand; her heart jolted awake inside her, prompting her to gasp in pure terror—
"—ssh, shh, it's me."
She heard his low voice against her ear, and she let out a sigh of relief.
She was on top of him now, eyes closed as his arm gripped her tightly. He shifted to his side, letting her down onto the space beside him with ease. Ru could still feel the aftermath of the shock coursing through her body with each beat of her heart.
"Why the hell did you do that??" She whispered-screamed, arms crossed over her chest as a weird show of protest— as if she wasn't just hoping for this mere seconds ago.
"Next time, remind me that you can't handle any sort of horror movies, whatsoever."
She huffed at his matter-of-fact tone. "You know how scary that was?"
Ru could feel a puff of air fan past her ear as he scoffed— "oh, you think hovering over me like that didn't scare the shit out of me?"
Oh god, he saw that...? She fought the urge to groan, eyes still shut because she knew opening them wouldn't make much of a difference.
"Did I wake you up?" She whispered instead.
"I wasn't asleep," he said before pausing. "You didn't sound like you were comfortable— you kept shifting in your sleep."
She scrunched her nose, not knowing whether to feel comforted or embarrassed.
In the meantime, he cleared his throat. "I was waiting for you to come wake me up."
Alright, she was definitely embarrassed now. She pressed her palms against her face, mumbling into her hands, "why didn't you come get me?"
"Well, I'm comfortable."
She nudged him with her elbow, causing him to laugh silently— she didn't have to see him to know the shape his eyes would be making right now. His laughter dissipated, and he cleared his throat awkwardly— "and I don't wanna come to you unless, you know, you really wanted me to."
Ru couldn't contain the little snicker that escaped as she lowered the palm away from her face and between her chest— "Well, I am your girlfriend."
"Technically, you're not."
Ru didn't realize, but the muscles on her face went limp as her smile faded. Her eyes fluttered as she focused all her energy on trying to observe his facial expression. The silence thickened, her only view of him being shadows and silhouettes.
"You're my soulmate," he finally added.
She felt air fill up her lungs again, her eyes rolling on its own.
Seriously?
She shoved him harder with her palms this time, but he caught her wrists with her hand, snickering as he held them in place with no effort whatsoever. "I know that basically implies you're my girlfriend too—" he whispered, still trying to stop a struggling Ru— "but I wish I did it right."
She stopped moving, eyebrows furrowed as her soulmate managed to confuse her for the second time that night.
"Did what right?"
She really didn't think he'd ignore her question, but the silence rang in her ears as she managed to spot the curve of his lips. He sat up, prompting Ru to sit up as well. She watched his form carefully, not a single clue running through her head as he scooted himself closer to the night stand now behind them.
Only when his hands reached out to something on the night table, did she finally make out his fingers wrapping around the flower vase, dragging it closer to him before finally taking the single wild daisy out.
He dusted the top of the flower before scooting back closer to Ru. Maybe her eyes had finally adjusted to the dark, because she now saw his features clearly— he had his gaze on her, eyes round and innocent as he held the plastic flower in between the two of them.
"Song Ru—" he cleared his throat, a subtle smile on his lips— "will you be my girlfriend?"
The muscles on her face had a mind of its own; her lips were curved up, all the air she kept captive in her lungs. Yes, she thought. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes—
"Are you smiling?"
His question stirred her out of her little daydream, and she started to giggle. A course of energy was sent jolting through her body, and she began nodding exaggeratedly. Was this what it felt like to be confessed to? Her belly felt warm and full, like she just had a four-course meal. Words were just words, through which she couldn't quite express herself.
"Ru?" Jeno's whisper called out to her, a hint of nerves present in his tone.
Okay, maybe she should at least say something, for his sake. Her laughter deepened as she took the flower from his hands, enveloping him in an elated hug; she pulled him down to the ground, whispering in his ear, "thank you."
She could feel the muscles on his shoulders relax as he settled into the hug. "Don't thank me too much, the flower's really dusty," he mumbled in a dark, almost drowsy tone.
"No—" she pulled away from the hug so they could face each other— "for being in my life."
For the first time that entire night, the crappy motel felt like home, like a safe space from all the monsters and devils that lurked on the other side of the door. As Jeno leaned in, she finally knew it wasn't the room at all— it was this boy in front of her. He placed a small peck on her forehead, his warm lips fueling the heat in her entire body.
She felt his chest rise up, right before he mumbled, "not like I had much of a choice though, huh?"
Aaand there it goes. The moment, gone. She sighed, pursing her lips as she smacked him playfully in the head with the daisy.
"Ow."
________________________________________
chapter thirty-four.
There were mornings where Ru would wake up to the crisp air in her bedroom, the fresh breeze blowing in from the window she always forgot to shut from the night before. It was one way to start the day— legs always hesitant to leave the comforts of her blanket, but when they did, shivers turned into warmth, and endings turned into beginnings.
Then there was this: limbs stretching over a thin layer of blanket spread on the floor, cramped between two twin beds. A slight sore in her back greeted her awake as she took in a breath of stale, motel room air. For a moment, she almost forgot where she was until she felt a subtle fan of warm air blow beside her ear.
She looked to her side to see Jeno asleep, head laid peacefully on the clumped-up part of the blanket— she didn’t know how he slept so soundly without a proper pillow. Slowly, she sat upright, looking ahead to see the rest of the boys laying side-by-side on the floor.
When did Haechan get there?
Just to confirm, she peeked over at the two twin beds— empty.What a waste of perfectly good beds.But then again, she was the one who had left the comforts of her motel bed first. She got up from the floor, careful not to nudge Jeno as she tiptoed her past the boys, towards the bathroom.
She tried not to laugh as she passed the scene; Renjun, sandwiched in the middle while Jaemin had him in a tight hug, Donghyuck sleeping in the opposite direction, snuggling into Renjun’s leg like it were a stuffed doll— somehow, he looked more comfortable now than he did when he was asleep on the twin bed.
Ru shuffled quickly into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She tried her best to be as quiet as she could, but by the time she was washing her face, she could hear slight shuffling from outside. Even then, she still turned the knob carefully. She stepped out of the bathroom to find the boys awake— barely, though.
It was like they were awake physically, but mentally… not quite. Jeno sat against the bed, head leaning on it for support; Renjun was staring at his backpack like he wasn’t quite sure what it was. Donghyuck was still knocked out, legs draped over a slightly irritated-looking Jaemin.
"Well good morning, you guys," Ru greeted with a little smile.
Renjun merely looked at her and grunted. She never pegged the boys as morning people, but this— this was something else.
It took about another twenty minutes before the boys finally got off the floor and got ready. It was really funny watching them get ready; mild grunt here and there as the boys tried their best not to bump into each other while they dragged themselves groggily across the limited space.
The getting-ready part didn’t take as long as Ru had expected. By a quarter to eleven, they were out of the motel room and down the worn-out road. They took a quick stop at a local convenience store for an easy late-breakfast, before talking the local bus further down.
It was a pretty quick trip— ten minutes, then off the bus. They relied on the map Renjun had opened on his phone the rest of the way, slipping through neighbourhoods and semi-deserted roads. The row houses were starting to look awfully similar when Renjun finally stopped in his tracks.
"It should… be…" his voice trailed off as he zoomed into the screen, then looked up at the outdated five-story building in front of them… "this one."
It looked just like any other housing, albeit a little tattered.
"Come on—" Renjun gestured, walking up the steps. "Room 201… should be the first room up the stairs."
The rest followed the boy up, their footsteps echoing in the low-ceiling space. There were at least six units on one floor; they crowded the space in front of the door, Renjun up front. The smaller boy adjusted his posture, clearing his throat as if to stall.
Ru didn’t realise it until then, but she was holding her breath— she had never met Renjun’s mom before.
By now, Donghyuck would’ve probably said ‘Well? Go on and knock!’, but the group was silent. Renjun finally balled his hand into a fist, knocking against the door. The five of them had their ears peeled, waiting for some sort of noise beyond the door, but they heard nothing.
Once again, the group was left in silence. Jeno glanced at a slightly apprehensive-looking Ru, before he suggested, "maybe she’s not home—"
His words were interrupted by a swift swing of the front door. The door was now wide open, and before them stood, who Ru assumed was Renjun’s mom: a big and tall lady, hair up like a nest of a bun, nightgown crumpled and grown. But it wasn’t her less-than-presentable outfit that shocked Ru— it was her disgruntled expression.
Her eyebrows only furrowed more when she finally registered the scene in front of her.
"Yes?" She enunciated.
Something felt off…
"Excuse me, ma’am," Renjun spoke softly, bowing slightly before he continued, "does Huang Jianyu live here?"
Ah, so that’s not his mother.
At the mention of Renjun’s mother’s name, the lady laughed lifelessly, almost sardonically. "You must be her son, right?" Without waiting for a response, she turned around and retreated into her apartment. The kids stood awkwardly, not sure if they were supposed to follow her.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" The lady suddenly called out from inside, "get in!"
"Oh—" Renjun cleared his throat uncomfortably, giving the rest of the boys a weird look before heading in. The rest followed suit, crowding into the small space. The apartment was less than ideal— scattered boxes of miscellaneous items on the floor, what could be twenty bottles of half-used condiments on the dining table right next to a tattered-looking sofa, where the lady sat with surprising comfort.
"So—" the lady leaned against her sofa, outstretching her arms to her sides, on top of the sofa— "she finally sent someone for her things?"
The question prompted a confusedhuh? from Renjun. Ru took a quick glance at the three doors behind her— one was closed, the other had a bathroom sign on it, and the last one was wide open. Inside the room were more boxes and a single blanket spread out on the floor.
The lady raised her eyebrows— "youareher son, right?"
"Well, yeah—" Renjun glanced at Jeno, before turning back to the lady— "but we lost contact for a while."
Ru didn’t even notice that Jeno’s hand was on the small of her back until he let go. "What do you mean, she sent someone for her things?"
The lady turned to Jeno, pausing as she tucked her bushy baby hairs behind her ear. "We’re roommates— if that wasn’t obvious enough— but a week ago she left for work and she didn’t come back."
Donghyuck shifted in his place, eyes lingering on a tense Renjun.
"Even went to the club where the damn girl worked, just for them to tell me she quit? Unbelievable, that one," she tsked in distaste. "Then a few days later I get a letter slipped under my door, and it’s from her!"
The lady stood up abruptly, walking straight at the group; they parted to let her through and watched curiously as she disappeared into the room Ru had seen a glimpse of earlier. No later than a few seconds later, she came out with an opened envelope in her hand.
She handed it to Jeno before sitting back down on the sofa with an exasperated sigh. "’Says she’s leaving and not to look for her, says I could have all her things—" she scoffed— "as if I want this junk!"
For some reason, she glared at Renjun and mumbled, "now I’m left moving all these boxes out to have ‘em donated. Can you believe it? Me, donating…"
Jeno ripped the envelope open, scanning through the letter with Ru and the others reading over his shoulders. Everything the lady mentioned was in the letter, clear as day. This left Renjun staring off into the distance.
Jeno looked up. "Where did you say she worked?"
The lady blinked slowly, a crooked smile creeping on her lips. "I didn’t."
Was she being serious?
Jaemin cleared his throat, stepping closer to Jeno without breaking eye contact with the lady. "What he meant to say was, can you tell us where his mom works?"
"Well…" the woman sighed, shaking her head in a petty, conspiring manner. "I would, but I’ve got a lot of things to do, eh? Moving all these boxes, let me tell you, tough for a tired woman like me."
Donghyuck’s eyebrows furrowed— "can’t you just tell us real quick before you start?"
Jaemin sighed and glared at Donghyuck, who only responded with a confused look—"what?"— before smiling tensely at the lady.
"What about we help you move these boxes, and you could tell us where she worked?" Jaemin suggested kindly, although Ru could hear the slight resentment in his voice.
Jaemin’s suggestion sure did put a smile on the lady’s face; she slapped her thigh with a satisfied grin— "well, that’s settled, then!"
She stood up with a newfound spring, pointing at the boxes scattered on the ground of the living room— "why don’t you boys start by carrying these boxes outside to the curb, you guys are strong enough, I’m sure." She continued to gesture at Ru, then at the messy room— "you can help me organise the room, just thinking of the mess gives me a headache…"
Ru followed the lady with timid footsteps, the boys behind her walking away to pick up boxes; she could hear Donghyuck mumble to Jaemin, "you justhadto offer…"
There were already a lot of things packed into boxes, but she didn’t realise the amount of things that weren’t. "Pass me that basket, girl," the woman commanded, a hasty tone threatening to spill from her voice.
Ru complied, picking up a basket from across the room; she could hear the front door open as the boys filed out of the apartment room.
"The pink paper bag, girl, quickly—" the lady snapped her fingers, prompting Ru to shuffle to another part of the room for the pink bag.
First, it was the pink bag, then a black plastic bag, then a pile of clothes under the desk. Forty-five minutes in, and the boys peeked in the room to tell them they were done moving the boxes. Maybe this lady had super persuasion skills, but moving the boxes wasn't the only chore they ended up doing that day.
Suddenly, Jeno and Jaemin were gone to go on a ‘quick’ grocery run; two hours in, as Ru was reorganising the bottles of bathroom products, she saw Renjun pass the bedroom with a broom in hand, followed by a sullen-looking Donghyuck wearing neon pink bathroom gloves.
"Careful, boy!" Ru heard the lady yell at Renjun.
How the hell did they end up here…
⭒⭒⭒
Streetlights lit the otherwise dark pavement in front of the building. The five of them stood, exhausted and hungry. Renjun had with him a medium-sized box of little things the lady insisted shouldn’t be donated ("Imagine donating this beautiful dress!"). Ru’s previously empty backpack was now filled to the brim with clothes the lady thought Ru should have because they were ‘too good to waste’— it really put in perspective what this lady thought about donating.
"Today’s a productive day, eh?" The lady chuckled, wrinkles in full display. "Three weeks of chores, all rolled into one!"
Ru smiled nervously; none of the boys had the energy to try and be polite— they were downright miserable.
There was a little pause before the lady continued, "perhaps if you have time to run down to the—"
"—we really have to get going now, ma’am…" Renjun interjected before she could finish her sentence.
For a moment, it looked like the lady was about to be offended that they refused to do what would be her fourth week of chores, but decided against it. "Well, alright then…" She held out her hand— "I’ll search up your mother’s part-time on Naver."
Renjun quickly reached into his pocket and handed her his phone. She quickly inputted the address before returning the phone. "I don’t know what you’re gonna find, they’ll probably tell you the same thing they told me— she’s gone with the wind, that one."
"Regardless," Ru replied, "thank you for the address."
It seemed the lady tried to nod, but only a grunt came out. "Off you go, then…"
The group bowed politely before walking away into the night, a certain weight now burdening their legs. There was an unspoken understanding between the five of them; none of them spoke until they rounded the dark, empty corner, almost like speaking would trigger the lady to chase after them with a plunger to do more chores— thank God she didn’t make Ru unclog the toilet.
When the lady was out of sight, Donghyuck was the first to sigh in defeat— "was that slavery?" He turned to Jeno— "like, that had to be slavery, right??"
Despite how tired Jeno must’ve been, he let out a little chuckle. He put his arm around the exasperated Donghyuck— "what’s important is we’ve got the address."
Jaemin glanced at a tired Ru. "You sure don’t want one of us to carry that?" He asked, referring to her backpack.
"Yeah, no, I’m good," Ru reassured. She let out a little huff, putting extra care into her steps as they began to move downhill.
Renjun led the way, as usual, eyes glued into his phone for directions. "It’s a small bar— Joseon Night Bar. After the main street, we just have to walk straight for another ten minutes…" Renjun began calculating in his head. "When we reach A Twosome Place, turn right and walk for another three minutes."
The rest of them agreed unanimously and they continued walking. The fresh, night air might’ve done something to their moods, but soon enough the group seemed to have forgotten about their day’s labour and started talking about other things— like what they were going to eat for dinner, for starters.
"So—" Jeno walked up to her and slipped his arm around her back— "Renjun’s mom’s roommate, huh?"
For some reason, the statement sounded so bizarre when he said it out loud. She began laughing, a small gesture that found its way to mess with Jeno’s heart rate. He adjusted the arm he had on her back, pushing up on the heavy backpack to bear more weight off of her, but she didn’t notice as she continued, "she’s quite the woman, really…"
The two of them were silent the rest of the way, watching the trio in front of them bicker about little nothings. Jeno wasn’t one to talk much, so he felt right at home, doing nothing but listen. Honestly, his arm was starting to feel sore, but he didn’t mind at all— he felt so much calmer now than he did all day.
Soon enough, they reached the cafe that Renjun had mentioned earlier, turning right like the map had instructed. Jeno spotted it first— a neon sign protruding from the side, bright enough for anyone passing by the alleyway to see. It was an underground bar, like most were in that area.
Jaemin turned to Jeno, a knowing look on his face. "You brought the ID?"
Only Ru seemed to be left out of the loop; she watched curiously as the rest of the boys reached for their pockets, pulling out baby blue cards.
"Wait…" Ru gasped, looking at Jeno’s ID card, "you guys have fake IDs?"
Donghyuck raised his eyebrows— "I don’t know why you’re so surprised— "he waved the ID in front of her— "it’s like you don’t know us at all, Ru."
Ru rolled her eyes, turning to Renjun. "Well, I don’t have a fake ID."
"It’s okay, it’s probably safer if you stay outside anyway," Renjun shrugged, pocketing his wallet.
She watched Renjun pick up the box he had placed on the floor, handing it to her— "can you hold this while we go inside?"
She nodded instinctively, taking the load off of Renjun. For a second, the group was silent. "Well, go on then," she urged.
"I should stay with Ru," Jeno suggested as he gestured at her.
This only made her shake her head. "Go on in, I’ll be fine—" she waved her arms dismissively— "I promise I won’t wander off or anything."
Jeno clenched his jaws, glancing between the bar and Ru. "Hey—" he approached, tilting his head softly at her— "we’ll be in and out, ten minutes max. If anything happens—"
"—nothing’s gonna happen," Ru assured him with a soft tone. "I’m a big girl."
For some reason, it caused him to chuckle softly. "Yeah you are." He turned to the boys, tilting his head in a let’s-go motion before they all walked away and in through the open doors of the bar.
Ru huffed a tired breath, dropping the box beside her again as she stood and observed. She didn’t get to fully process the little area they were in— a narrow and crooked road, lined with neon-decorated doors that lead to funky restaurants and underground bars.
She pictured it in her head, the boys hanging out in a place like this, and she didn’t like how she could imagine it so clearly. Ru knew it made her sound like a wide-eyed twelve-year-old, but places like this just gave her the creeps.
She scrunched her nose as a man in his twenties passed her, spitting on the ground with that loud pre-spit thing men always do— there’s no chance in hell the boys can ever turn out like that. Not like the unhygienic man, or the sullen-looking woman vaping as she scrolled through her phone mindlessly, or that other guy throwing his cigarette on the ground as he took a call.
She watched him ruffle his bleach blond hair as he kept glancing furtively at her. Ru looked away immediately, hoping he didn’t notice her staring.
What’s taking the boys so long?, she wondered. She peeked into the entrance of the bar, almost exaggerating the way she looked through; she wasn’t in any particular rush, but just wanted to look busy, as stupid as that sounded.
Coincidentally, Renjun’s mildly irritated face showed up from inside the bar, the rest of the boys following suit. She took a few steps back to let the boys pass, noticing a security guard walking behind them, holding Haechan’s upper arm with force.
"I’m not calling the cops, but you kids better get out of here before I change my mind—" the man harshly let go of Haechan’s arm with a stern glare, before stomping back into the bar and out of sight.
Ru was about to question how they got caught, but she spotted a magenta-coloured leather purse that Jaemin was carrying and forgot all about her question. "...did you steal that bag?" Ru asked skeptically.
"No—" Jeno responded for Jaemin, albeit a little distracted. He pulled her arm, gesturing at the boys to start walking. "Let’s not stay here too long."
Ru didn’t even realise, but the alleyway had gotten significantly crowded since they got here; they had to swerve between people, fighting the traffic of people heading into the alleyway. They quickly got out, headed for the main street and back where they came from.
When nobody bothered to circle back and answer her question, she asked again, "you didn’t get kicked out of there for stealing the bag, right?"
"Nah, that’s Renjun’s mom’s purse." Donghyuck replied nonchalantly, like it made sense.
…so did they forget the woman that should’ve been attached to the purse? She was growing frustrated with their lack of straightforwardness when it came to answering her questions. Luckily, it was like Jeno had read her mind. "She left her purse a week ago and since the manager didn’t hear from her since, they assumed she quit."
Ru didn’t respond; her eyes immediately went to Renjun, who was a few steps ahead of them. All throughout the bus ride home, she couldn’t help but watch his defeated posture— he only looked out the window, deep in thought.
For a moment, her eyes lingered on the bright purse on Jaemin’s lap. The boy had one hand on the zipper, tugging at it ever-so-slightly in a curious manner.
"Jaemin," she whispered in his direction.
She merely gestured for him to pass the bag to her, which he complied to. He passed her the bag from across the aisle of the bus.
"What are you doing?" Jeno looked at her, intrigued.
"Do you think she left this because she didn’t need to, or because she had to?" Ru only looked up at him after she had finished her question; she could see it in his dark eyes, the cogs turning in his head.
An energised and otherwise alert Ru would never have done this, but she found herself opening the purse, her hands reaching into the purse like they were her’s. Jeno stayed silent, which Ru took as a cue to keep going.
Lipstick, restaurant napkins, sanitary pads, a powder case, a scarf, a rusty key and an even bigger keychain attached to it— the bottom of the purse was dusty, so Ru wasn’t exactly eager to find out what was at the bottom of the bag. Instead, she just took turns picking up and observing the things she could see.
The lipstick was almost finished, the sanitary napkin yellowing. Nothing really stood out to her, but it beats being bored on the bus, so she continued with the key. The keychain was this piece of red, translucent plastic shaped like this round bird. She thought it was an Angry Birds keychain at first, but a closer inspection immediately told her otherwise. She flipped the plastic, and immediately noticed that at the centre was a number— 127.
What’s 127 supposed to mean?, she thought as she continued to stare. The longer she looked, the more intrigued she became. She almost didn’t want to say it, but it was almost like she had seen it before— something about the keychain was so familiar to her. Perhaps she had seen this number somewhere?
She bit her lips, staring at it like it was going to talk to her at some point. It was only when a passing streetlight reflected against the red of the plastic, did it finally click—
"Renjun—" Ru gasped, almost standing from her seat as she tapped the boy in front of her— "I think I know where your mom is!"
"What?" Renjun furrowed his eyebrows, glancing slightly at the other boys to see if they were following.
"Yeah!" Ru exclaimed, dangling the key for the boys to see. "This was in your mom’s purse— it’s a hotel key."
"No offence, Ru, but I don’t think we need a hotel key to know she’s probably staying at some sort of accommodation," Donghyuck pointed out.
Ru could’ve rolled her eyes, but she wasn’t that girl. Instead, she continued, "no, I’ve seen this bird before— we passed it on the way to our motel from the train station, this place called ‘The Cardinal or something—"
"Oh shit, I remember that!" Jaemin widened his eyes, nodding in agreement; the mood was shifted, tired eyes now wide awake with anticipation. Renjun looked around the bus, a little overwhelmed— "okay, uh—" he took a deep breath— "we have to get off at the next stop, we’ll find one to take us there."
In under five minutes, they were out of the bus, scrambling to catch the next bus going in the direction of The Cardinal. By the time they arrived, they were all running out of the bus and down the deserted road. It was only when they arrived in the hotel that Renjun finally halted, causing the others to stop behind him.
He turned around and faced them with a slightly contemplative expression. He bit his lips, before finally uttering, "you guys don’t have to follow me in."
"Yeah, but what if—"
"No, no—" Renjun immediately shook his head— "you guys should really head back and get some rest, I’ll just stay here tonight."
Donghyuck was about to protest, but Renjun muttered, "I think this is something I have to do on my own."
The group was silent for a second; when Renjun looked her way, she did the only thing she could think to do: smile. She gave him a reassuring look. He nodded in acknowledgement, and was about to turn back when— "oh, hold on!"
Ru opened her backpack, taking out the contents of it before handing it to Renjun, who was still holding a box of his mother’s belongings. "Here you go—" she stacked them neatly on top of the box.
"Thanks."
She tilted her subtly as she said, "I’m happy for you, Renjun."
He smiled, and for the first time the entire trip, it was for real.
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whump of all time
SEMIFINALS!
Find links and propaganda under the cut. Quarterfinalist and later match-ups are untagged, so your votes and reblogs matter!
Once Upon A Time:
(gifset 1, gifset 2)
"There's blood, wounds, captivity, bondage, a slow-dipping-mechanism, a big rescue, and excellent acting by Colin O'Donoghue - who delivers the tiniest whimper and the most delectable of trembles for our whump-loving eyes to devour!" ~ @killian-whump
"[...] Killian was BROKEN. Absolutely and heart-wrenchingly devastated. He was tortured within an inch of his life (… or death, I guess) and practically left to slowly drop into a pit of eternal despair.
Killian was not easy to break. He would get injured and get back up with a sneer and an "I'm alright love you should see the other guy".
But to reach that point? The point of telling Emma she should have kept herself safe instead of saving him from this torment, to hold on to her like she was his lifeline, to SMILE that small smile from the first bit of hope he'd gotten since he ended up there?
The relief upon watching this episode for the first time was visceral. For two episodes we knew Hook was being tortured, we saw him try and fail to limp to safety, we saw his resolve and defiance desperately hold on, we saw him accept his fate, we saw him preferring to be tortured further than hurt his friends… And then he got saved! And he had no witty comeback, no effort to hide his pain. He just fucking collapsed in the arms of his beloved, of his saviour, and held on for a moment to realize that it was real, she was there, he was finally safe.
Add to that some amazing, jaw-dropping, emotional acting by Colin O'Donoghue, how can you get any better than that?
Anyway vote for ouat. Because this whole torture mini arc existing is probably what caused a chain reaction of me understanding and accepting I love whump, so. I wouldn't be here torturing blorbos if it weren't for it 🤣" @piracytheorist
"god tier acting" ~ @caliburn-the-sword
The Young Blood Chronicles (Save Rock and Roll's music videos, Fall Out Boy):
(link)
"Everyone gets bloodied, bruised, beaten up, tortured, rescued, limbs are amputated - it's brutal. Alone Together is particularly strong."
sorry for being late, but you want YBC propaganda? then you're getting YBC propaganda. I know you're a FOB fan, but I will be writing this for the benefit of those who don't know what YBC is, for better propaganda purposes! and yeah this is gonna be LONG. sorry.
So! The Youngblood Chronicles (shortened to YBC) is a series of 11 music videos made by the band Fall Out Boy, for their album Save Rock And Roll (you know this album, it's the one with My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark on it). The whole thing is quite short, less than fifty minutes long (even shorter if you don't count the uncut version's credits!!), and every single music video has some element of whump in it. This propaganda is gonna break down each individual music vid, and at i'll also talk a little bit about the irl context the album was written in, and why even THAT can be a little bit whumpy if you're insane like me!
(note: i'm going in the original release order over the uncut order, hence why i'm starting with MSKWYDITD instead of The Phoenix)
My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark: Arguably the least whump-y out of all of them, but man, seeing all of Fall Out Boy's discography and memorabilia be burnt while people are dancing around the destruction? Man, when you know the real life stuff (the reception the band had in 2009, leading to them to take a three year hiatus)... and at the end, you see four guys bound in the back of a van!! And that van is getting burnt!! Burn everything you love and burn the... ashes.
The Phoenix: NOW here's the first of MANY whump tastes you'll get. Patrick Stump, the singer/cutie of the band, gets kidnapped, tied to a chair, has his hand CHOPPED OFF and mailed to his bandmate/best friend Pete Wentz, then gets tied down and utterly tortured by women who are laughing at his misery the entire time, getting prodded and stabbed by tools for... well, you'll see. By the end of the video, Pete and the other two members of FOB (Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley) have been kidnapped by these mysterious women too, with Pete specifically getting kidnapped by the blonde woman he was in bed with when Patrick's hand got delivered to him. If you enjoy cute boys getting tied down, covered in blood, and writhing around like worms while getting tortured... well you'll enjoy all of YBC but specifically you'll enjoy this!! I did :D! The war is won, before it's begun, release the doves, surrender love...
Young Volcanoes: Good news, FOB has been reunited! Bad news, by the women who dismembered Patrick! And now all the band members are tied to chairs, hooked up to IVs full of god knows what types of drugs, and blindfolded (all except Patrick). They are then forced to drink, snort hard drugs, and are force fed Patrick's organs! Yep, all four of them are forced to eat their lead singer's guts, and are so fucking drugged up they don't even realize what's happening (and now you know what the women were doing to him in the last mv, and you even get a nice little shot of the hack job of stitching him back up)!! Patrick hallucinates everyone having fun, but of course, at the end, all of them are knocked out because of the drugs. Americana, exotica, do you wanna feel a little beautiful baby?
Alone Together: This is the song the OG propaganda mentioned, and for good reason. All four of them are shipped off into little personalized torture rooms, and, well, tortured! Pete is able to break out and even steals the hook from the girl who was torturing him, but little does he know that'll be his own undoing... also, in general, this song has some whumpy elements, specifically the line "my heart is like a stallion/they love it more when it's broke-in"... but notice how easy it is to hear "broke-in" as "broken"! At the end of the video, Pete is at least able to find Patrick (Joe and Andy have NOT been having a good time, either!! But sadly, they aren't found by Pete, but Pete DOES find Big Sean), and is even able to attach the hook to the stump (ha!) where his hand used to be. But something is clearly wrong with Patrick now. His eyes are yellow, and as the song ends, we hold on him, sneering and twitching. This is the road to ruin - and we're started at the end...
The Mighty Fall: First off if you say this is the worst song off of SRAR I will hunt you for sport. OKAY ANYWAYS, chronologically this comes after MSKWYDITD, and yeah, the four guys are the members of FOB. Pete is able to free himself with Patrick's new hook hand, and is able to get the other three out while Pete is hacking up a lung from the fire they just barely escaped. But they're not done getting their shit rocked yet. A gang of children show up (the leader being the kid Patrick waved at right before he was kidnapped back in the Phoenix MV), and proceed to separate them and beat the living shit out of them. The leader kid who's chasing Patrick plays something on a boombox... which triggers Patrick to go yellow-eyed again (from here on out i'll call it "going Youngblood" or "Youngblood self"). It was confirmed in the commentary track that ANY music would cause him to go Youngblood. And knowing Patrick IRL fucking loves to create/compose music... yeah! Take something he loves and turn it into something that drives him insane!! I'm normal!! And also the irl parallel you could draw to his solo career doing the same thing to him (on a less uh Dramatic level but you know)!!! Ouch!!!! Big Sean is able to save Patrick, but at the cost of his own life (and a killer rap verse... HELL YEAH I'M A DICK GIRL, ADDICTED TO YOU). Oh, how the mighty fall in love...
Just One Yesterday: The last vestiges of comfort you're gonna get for a WHILE. The four are separated, getting even more beaten up, Pete vomits up a snake, Andy gets his shit rocked by a homeless guy, Joe has to use white sheets as a makeshift tourniquet bc his leg got fucked up in The Mighty Fall MV, and Patrick is picked up by a kind stranger (hi Foxes! you have a very pretty voice! PLEASE KEEP YOUR HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!). And finally, finally we get a hope spot. Fall Out Boy is reunited (the part where Andy just grabs onto Patrick's arm, in disbelief they're both alive... augh!!! AUGH!!!!), and for a moment, it seems they've been delivered to a hospital... before Foxes' eyes go completely black, looking at Patrick... and turns on the radio. She's able to trigger the Youngblood. And now Patrick is gone. The other three scramble into the hospital, Patrick not far behind, determined to kill them to stop the noise in his head. If Heaven's grief brings Hell's reign, then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday...
Where Did The Party Go: Patrick, now fully consumed by the Youngblood brainwashing, is now stalking his bandmates in a hospital. Patrick is seeing visions of the hospital as an abandoned party, Andy has to painfully disinfect the wounds he's gotten, Pete is able to call for the police, and Joe... oh, poor Joe. He barricades himself into a room, but not well enough. Patrick finds him, and kills him, slitting his throat with the hook hand, showing no remorse at all... until Andy and Pete find them. The Youngblood wears off, and Patrick looks to what he's done, and is horrified at what he's done to his friend. And, bad news for him, the police are here, ready to arrest the murderer. All Andy and Pete can do is watch as tears roll down Patrick's eyes. And for the extra IRL context, this was the first song written for the album that made Pete and Patrick realize they had to get FOB back together... so lets match that with a music video where the member who helped get the band together in the first place dies. By the hands of the kid he found. Let's fade away together, one dream at a time...
Death Valley: Joe gets... uh, a little comfort? I mean, he thinks he's getting sent to heaven but goes to hell, buuuuut I think doing drugs in rock and roll hell with Tommy Lee is actually a pretty sweet deal, better than the deal the other three got! Pete and Andy are being interrogated while Patrick is in a jail cell. We find out that the cult that kidnapped them, Silence the Noise, is lead by Pete's girlfriend from WAAAAY back in the Phoenix MV, Courtney Love. And at the end of the MV... Patrick is bailed out of jail by Silence the Noise. They have him again. And this time, they're not gonna let him walk out until he's fully under their control. 'Cause tonight it's just fire alarms and losing you...
Rat a Tat: Silence the Noise has Patrick, and they utterly brainwash him, A Clockwork Orange style, with electroshock stimulation to keep him from looking away or closing his eyes, until there is nothing left. Patrick Stump does not exist anymore. Only the Youngblood, pliant under the control of Silence the Noise, tasked to destroy what he once loved; music. Andy dies at the hands of the cult, and now Pete has to protect a briefcase, the thing that got them into this mess, and keep it away from Silence the Noise, all while his best friend hunts him down. Are you ready for another bad poem?
Miss Missing You: THE WHUMPIEST OF THE WHUMP. What if we were best friends but you've been driven insane and I know the only way to stop you is to kill you and it was my fault you got into this mess and I was the one who gave you the weapon that will be my own undoing. What if we both died at the same time. What if we died, both of us failing the mission we had before us. What if that was a reference to one of their first music videos. What if this song was originally written for Patrick's solo album but he realized it was more of a Fall Out Boy song so it was scrapped until now. What if there's a legit argument to be made that half the lyrics for this song was written by Patrick. What if we were both boys. Grips walls, yeha i'm normal. If you don't watch ANY other music vid, watch Miss Missing You. Sometimes before it gets better, the darkness gets bigger. The person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.
Save Rock And Roll: And our final track gives us a final bit of comfort. Patrick is able to overcome the Youngblood, and gets into heaven, where all of FOB is finally, finally reunited. God (aka Elton John) gives them new instruments and brings them back to earth, so they can do what they love; play music together. Which just so happens to release people from the control of Silence the Noise! But, because we can't have nice things, a cult within Silence the Noise got a hold of the briefcase, and summoned a spirit that starts to kill everyone. FOB stands together, and blasts the evil spirit, the blood coming up to the gates of heaven and covering Elton John in it. And... that's how it ends. No true resolution. Just Elton John covered in blood, as the song fades out. Oh, no! Wherever I go, go! Trouble seems to follow! I only plugged in to save rock and roll!
UH. AGAIN I APOLOGIZE FOR THE LENGTH. but i really wanted to express just how much WHUMP they manage to fit into less than fifty minutes, all backed by an amazing album colored by the three years they were apart. colored by how they grew, colored by how bad the hiatus was for Patrick specifically, colored by how Confessions of a Pariah got Pete to reach out to help him, and this album came out of it, Fall Out Boy came back out of it, and now here we are, ten years later, with the title track being performed every night for their concert, with all the band singing the final lines together, and the line you are what you love, not who loves you hitting every single night.
SORRY. LISTEN TO FALL OUT BOY. thanks for letting me rant.
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Hey, everyone.
I've tried to compose myself before making this post. This is a subject that I've touched on a little bit in posts, but I've never done a deep dive into JUST this topic. I was going to make a post solely about this subject sooner, but this one in particular is really hard for me to talk about without getting emotional...and yet Dhar Mann has talked about this on quite a few occasions in the most insincere, toxic ways. I'll do my best to discuss this topic without getting too emotional.
It's about a serious subject that people still are ignorant about and don't take seriously. Even to this day, with the body positivity and body neutrality movements. (I don't know of a better way to describe just being neutral about your body. Sorry if it sounds weird.)
For anyone who doesn't know what I'm referring to (honestly, I don't blame you, as this is a subject that's often seen as normal and is encouraged in society for the most part), I'm talking about fatphobia. Hating on people for being fat. Discriminating people because of their weight in the workplace, at the doctor's office, just in general. Not many stores having inclusive sizes. People being treated like they're subhuman because they're fat.
I want to say this first, before I bash on Dhar Mann again: I'm a plus-size young woman. This is something that I have personal experience with. Your weight has no significance to your worth as a person. If you do happen to be overweight, obese, whatever, you're not subhuman. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're worthy of being loved, listened to, treated with kindness, and respected, just like anyone else who isn't fat.
If you treat people like utter shit for their weight, get some help. Why do you care about somebody else's weight? Obviously there's an exception to this, like if they're so big they can't move or they're so skinny their organs are showing....because those are causes for concern, but other than that, mind your own business. Even if they are in those extremities, unless you're their doctor and/or their family, STILL mind your own business. How the fuck does a fat person simply breathing and existing affect you in any way? News flash: there will always be fat people.
Before I get to the weekly ritual of tearing TWO of Dhar Mann's videos apart (the next one will be in another post or I'll reblog this post and continue on there), here's an obligatory trigger warning for the video analysis itself and my response: The following post contains fatphobia, fat shaming, a man being super fucking misogynistic and treating women like they're objects, and there's even a touch of some racial aggression. How shocking. Because Dhar Mann really seems to get a kick out of writing about racism to make it all cute. Oh yeah, you're totally solving racism, Dhar Mann. /s
My response contains my experience with fatphobia, relationships with food, mentioned/implied thoughts of s3lf h@rm, feeling like I'm unworthy of being treated like an actual person because of my weight, and absolute rage. Like usual. My responses are very heated. This one especially. It's LONG. Buckle up.
With all this out of the way, let's get to the first video that I want to tear apart. This one is about the auditions for a record deal. I will get to the video about a kid wanting to be a host of a radio show later.
To sum up the first video, a plus-size white woman (Krissy Elliot) is singing for an agent (Isaac) and his assistant (Evette) so she can follow her dream to become a singer. Isaac cuts Krissy off to viciously bash her for being a plus-size woman. Evette stands up for this woman, and says she sounded fine and to let her finish. Isaac doesn't listen to Evette, let alone take what she said into consideration. He continues to ridicule Krissy for her appearance, that she'll "never make it in the music industry" (WRONG, do you know how many plus-size people are in the fucking music industry? There are A LOT more now than when I was growing up and it honestly makes me so happy. There were more plus-size people in the entertainment industry than in the music industry back then.), suggested that she "become a chef or a food critic" because she apparently loves being around food (being a chef or a food critic are noble professions, but NEVER fucking assume ANYONE'S relationships with food), to the point where Krissy left the room in tears.
Here are a few screenshots for context:
When this skinny, conventionally attractive woman (Jesse) comes in, Isaac's mood does a COMPLETE 180° and he's all sunshine and rainbows. Then right as soon as Jesse did her audition, Isaac is over the fucking moon, complimenting her physical appearance, treating her like an object, and signs her up for a record deal RIGHT AWAY. Pay attention to Isaac's facial expressions in one of these screenshots.
Evette suggests that they sign Krissy for a record deal instead. Because she was "the best singer they've had all day". Isaac, still all hot and bothered by a skinny, conventionally attractive woman that he's treating like an object, tells Evette that people like Krissy don't make it in the music industry because they're "overweight and unattractive", and is verbally aggressive towards her when she does nothing but explain her stance. Isaac sees this as Evette "talking back" (remember how I mentioned that there's racial aggression? He says that Evette is "talking back" because she happens to be a black woman) and fires her. He signs Jesse a record deal and has a blast with her.
The award ceremony comes around, and they're picking a winner for Best New Artist. They pick the winner, and it's....guess what? You'll never get it! It's Krissy Elliot! Why? Because Evette became her agent after Isaac fired her. Krissy goes into her whole story about how she was laughed out of every single agency and that she worked hard. Good for her. Jesse is obviously very happy for Krissy. We gotta love women supporting women.
This video was again another dumpster fire. As usual. Like I said, with this video in particular, I couldn't get through the first thirty seconds the first time around. Because I've dealt with shit like this. Obviously not with the music industry because I don't even think I'd be good enough to step into an agency...but I mean in my personal life.
Being told by my own dad that he was "tired of buying bigger clothes for me" when I was a young teenager, despite him buying almost nothing but "junk food".
Having my abuser make comments about my weight and talking about diets while I'm trying to eat my food, despite her being overweight.
Having someone I know (not anyone I'm friends with) make a comment about me eating a few things (ONE small piece of broccoli, two baby carrots, a small handful of chips, and ONE small piece of pineapple) and said to "save some for everyone else", even though I was saving food for everyone else, which is why I took so little. She tried to justify it with the fact nobody was there yet (why do you think I took very little food?), and she "was saying that to everyone" (why did she look at ME when she said that instead of making it clear that she was talking to everyone [saying "Hey, everyone" before the comment about saving some for everyone else IS NOT HARD]?), even though I know it was just to save her own ass. I knew she said that to me because I'm plus-size. She didn't say anything to anyone else, nor did she make it clear that she was talking to everyone.
Another person I know (not a person I'm friends with) saying that I overreacted (I did not overreact; SOMEONE TRIGGERED ME and you did NOTHING about it) even though they all KNEW my relationship with food is complicated. They KNEW that I don't really like eating in front of other people. I was upset that someone MADE A FUCKING DISGUSTING, TRIGGERING COMMENT ABOUT ME EATING VERY FEW FOOD ITEMS, ALMOST ALL WERE HEALTHY, DESPITE OTHER PEOPLE EATING A LOT MORE THAN I DID AND PICKING AT EVERYTHING. That day, I was begging one of my friends (one of the people I trust to eat around) to PLEASE take me home because I didn't want to be there (never wanted to be there in the first place), I was tired (I worked all night the night before and was forced to go to a meeting before all this happened), I didn't feel comfortable there anymore, there were way too many people (four individuals plus all their staff from another house were in the house I work in), I couldn't breathe (I was either about to pass out, have a panic attack, or just start crying), but nobody listened to me. I ended up getting a bus to go home.
(Sorry about all that. I was trying not to get emotional in this post. I just needed to share how this can affect people.)
Onto my response, which is all in the screenshots below.
ETA: I know the screenshots for my response are very jumbled right now and it’s difficult to read. I apologize to anyone who’s unable to fully read it! Because this is part one of this whole subject of fatphobia (I’m making a post about the boy wanting to become a radio host very soon), my response here will tie into that post. My response to that video is vastly the same, despite not making a comment on that video as of right now (the radio host one).
I’ll be typing out my full response here. I apologize for weird formatting. Instagram wouldn’t let me break up my response into paragraphs. I’ll break them up into paragraphs here instead.
CC (Combination of the first, second, and third screenshots, aka, the first part of my response):
I have a few questions before I get into my thoughts on this video. One, how the hell does your weight have any significance on your worth as a person, and if you do think this way, why would you think that? Two, do you know that fatphobia is a lot more than just judging a person for being fat? Three, why do you feel like you can speak for fat people like myself with this piss poor excuse for a video that I could barely get through the first thirty seconds of the first time?
You can’t speak for any of us. I can’t speak for every fat person because not everyone has the same experiences as me.
I’ve been bullied for my weight in real life as well as online. People have called me ugly just because of my weight. By the way, your weight doesn’t equal beauty, and that’s what I’m still learning. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
On quite a few occasions, I have actually thought about doing dangerous things to my body that I don’t feel comfortable going into here. All because I had people try to boil me down to my weight, call me ugly, and destroy whatever self-esteem I had left. You don’t know what fat people go through, so don’t act like you do.
There are many factors that go into why a person may be fat, including medical conditions, mental illness, trauma, genetics, etc. All of those things are none of your business unless those people decide to be open about it.
No, it’s not always healthy to be fat (obviously there are extremities on both sides of the spectrum of weight that are extremely unhealthy), but it doesn’t make a person any less of a human being. Fat people are human too. Quit treating us like we’re not. We deserve to be treated like everyone else who isn’t fat. I’m not saying put all fat people on a pedestal. I’m saying treat us like human beings.
CC (Combination of the fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh screenshots, aka, the second part of my response):
Remember how I said that fatphobia isn’t just about judging people for being fat? Well, there’s the “fat tax” on plus-size clothing (even though it maybe only costs a little bit more in fabric, if there’s any difference in making clothes for people who aren’t fat), limited styles for fat people in stores (making a lot of us have to buy fast fashion or have to spend a fortune on clothes that actually flatter us), not very many stores have inclusive sizes still (if you don’t at least carry max 5XL or a size 38/40 in pants size, you cannot call yourself inclusive), and a lot of other things.
Many fat people, myself included, are afraid to seek medical attention for anything (even checkups) because of doctors who only focus on our weight and not on what we came in to see them for. They write it off as if our weight is the sole cause of our problems, which isn’t always the case.
How about we talk about how expensive it is to eat healthy in a lot of places? Not everyone can afford to make fresh meals every day, let alone once a week. Maybe they were never taught how to due to their upbringing. You don’t know.
I’ve had people comment on my weight, what I’m eating (even if I’m eating something healthy like fruits and veggies), talk about my weight or diets EVEN WHILE I’M TRYING TO EAT, and it’s caused me to wait until I’m alone or around someone I trust to eat anything. As a result, I have a complicated relationship with food now.
Telling someone they’re fat doesn’t help them. They know that. They see themselves every day. People may want to change, but they either are afraid to ask for help, or they don’t know where to start. Some may not want to change. It’s up to them, honestly. If you want to help them lose weight, maybe suggest any physical activity they’d have fun doing and do them with them? I dance for fun. Also, you could help set up meal plans with them.
If you’re not going to at least try to help them lose weight if you’re so concerned about them (this is all if they actually want to change things and don’t know where to start), I cannot say this in a sweeter way: shut your mouth and mind your own business. Because you’re just being a cunt at that point.
CC (eighth screenshot, aka, the third and final part to my response):
There are quite a few plus-size people in the entertainment industry as a whole who are/were very successful. Remember the late Chris Farley and Aretha Franklin? Chris Farley was big, but that didn’t change how great of an actor he was, how funny he was, or how much of an impact he made in the entertainment industry. Aretha Franklin was a plus-size black woman in the music industry, but she’s inspired SO MANY artists we have today! There are many plus-size men, women, and I believe even nonbinary people in the public eye in general. Like I’ve said, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. That’s why the body positivity and body neutrality movements are a thing.
(I know I implied that I thought about sh here in my response, but please don't worry about me as far as that goes. I'm fine now. I would never go through with anything like that.)
In the last part of my response where I mentioned some plus-size people in the entertainment industry as well as the music industry (the late Chris Farley and the late Aretha Franklin), I was going to name more people, but my comments were getting too long. I'll name some more here off the top of my head:
Lizzo (rapper), the Piggy Dolls (the first K-Pop girl group made up of actual plus-size women), K*v*n Sp*c*y (I don't feel comfortable saying his name because he's a disgusting person, but he's another plus-size man...he was in King of Queens and in A LOT of movies), PSY, Greyson Gritt (a genderqueer person in the music industry), Elle King, Produce Pandas (the first music group in China full of plus-size men), Martha Wash, Chubby Checker, Fats Domino, Big Angel (a J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Chubbiness (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women), Pottya (another J-Pop group of all plus-size women)...there are so many that I found, but if you want to add more plus-size artists, plus-size actors, plus-size comedians/comediennes, feel free to add them in the comments!
Dhar Mann, you'll never know what plus-size people go through. You don't know what we go through. You have NO IDEA what we go through on a daily basis. Stop acting like you do. Because you don't, and you never will.
By the way, Dhar Mann, this will NOT be the last post I'll make about you or your videos. The more you make fucking deplorable, poorly written bullshit, the more posts I'll make! Teehee!
If you got this far, thank you so much. The next part of this is coming very soon. I'm sorry for not posting too many screenshots from the video. I wanted to fit in my response because it's important for people to see.
Have a good day/afternoon/night, y'all. Love you!
#mello speaks#dhar mann talk#dhar mann#dhar mann will live to regret his decision to make these fucked up cringe videos#dhar mann is a piece of human garbage#dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu#dhar mann is a cringe ass nae nae baby#please stop supporting dhar mann#tw fatphobia#tw body shaming#tw racial aggression mention#tw implied sh mention#body postivity#plus size people in the entertainment and music industries#fatphobes dni#cw weight mention#cw diet mention#cw complicated relationships with food mention#warning you right now that I'm VERY mad#cw doctor mention#tw dhar mann
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“ Six feet under ”
Pairing: Crowley x Reader
Summary: Crowley decides to pay a little visit to his one and only love.
Warnings: angst, character death, sad boi crowley
Notes: English isn't my native language, so sorry for any mistakes this hasn't been proofread either.
This is very out of the blue and maybe a little cliché idk, but i hope some of you enjoy it nonetheless <3
kinda off from the original show plot but try to bare with me uwu
inspired from billie eilish's song 'six feet under'
Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you
Thick heavy grey clouds shrouded above the cemetery as if it read Crowley's mood. It was the same heavy weight he felt everyime he decides to pay you a visit. The same weight that seems to get heavier as time ticks by.
It had been a year since you died. A year that seems to be dreadfully longer than the time Crowley stayed above earth.
It was always a reminder for him how different his celestial form is from a human being like you. You always joked around that he had to see you die at some point—with grey hair and wrinkling skin while he didn't age even a bit, yet look where he is now.
He didn't expect it to come too soon, too fast, too sudden and too painful. It made him think what was really God's ineffable plan? He couldn't even ask it himself. Besides it was ineffable after all.
He should've seen this coming though. A demon falling in love with a human? Both of you knew things can't get normal. For one he was an immortal under a lot of circumstances and you on the other hand was—fragile. The moment you saw the bright light when you were brought to this world you were already hanging on a thin thread. Surviving for only a small barrowed time. Crowley always thought it was some kind of inside joke made by God, a very cruel joke.
Small droplets started to fall down from the sky as Crowley stood looking at the flowers he have in his hands.
You would've loved this. He thought to himself kneeling down on the moist grass, not bothered by the uncomfortable feeling of the contact with his jeans before staring at your grave stone.
It still feels unreal for him, seeing your name precisely carved on the stone which made his heart wrenched.
Retrace my lips
Erase your touch
It's all too much for me
But Crowley knew he would rather feel the pain in his chest over and over again rather than forget about you even if he could never be the same when he was with you.
His closest friend Aziraphale felt pity for the demon, but loving someone always has a cost to pay and he could only give much reassurance to his dear friend. Besides, he was somehow at fault considering you died in his shop trying to help him. Crowley didn't blame the angel though, knowingly you wouldn't either, but that didn't stop him from blaming himself and giving the silent treatment to the angel (which Aziraphale understood where he was coming from) for months. You would have opposed to if you knew, knowing their friendship was one of the strongest bonds you had ever seen. Luckily they were good now yet Crowley still needed more time to mourn.
You were always so kind and gentle, one of the traits Crowley loved about you. Good or bad you seem to look surpass every label knowing it was more than just what they perceive. To you Crowley isn't just the demon who had fallen to spread evil, he was your Crowley; your sassy kind hearted loving demon. He never wanted to have such vulnerability, but he let himself otherwise.
Of course he didn't regret any of it. He would need to die first before he ever regrets choosing a path with you in it. Even if he knew the moment you walked in Aziraphale's bookshop clumsily waltzing in his life only to bring this kind of pain he was currently feeling he would never choose of you not being a part of him. If only he could have had more time just one more second to see you smile, to feel your soft touch, to look directly into your loving eyes that made him feel like he was home. It sometimes brought Crowley anxiety with the thought that he didn't deserve what he was feeling with you—the joy, appreciation and love, yet you always said that he did, he did deserve happiness but the tragedy that comes with it had come unforeseen.
Blow away
Like smoke in air
How can you die carelessly?
Why did you have to go inside? Why didn't you just wait for me. You were human afterall. You weren't built to withstand heavy flames and thick smokes. You've always been so reckless for the sake of others. You knew it was dangerous, but you risked your life nonetheless.
Crowley laid the flowers near your headstone before he caressed the letters of your name closing his eyes trying to remember every detail of your face.
"Just for a second. If you're really listening to everyone's prayer then bid mine. Just for a second. Look at me you've foresaken me and let me fall into the pit yet here I am calling out for you." He looked up calling out to somebody, something or someone who was listening to his mantra. "Please!" He choked through the verge of tears. "I love her. I'll always will. If this is my sin then punish me for eternity, but let me see her just for a second." The only response a low rumble of thunder and finally the heavy clouds opened its gates letting the rain freely fall from the heavens camouflaging Crowley's tears.
They're playin' our sound
Layin' us down tonight
And all of these clouds
Crying us back to life
But you're cold as a night
It was no use. You're gone. The pain settled in his chest eating his insides. It was his punishment after all.
Crowley was soaked by the time he was snapped out of his small trance. He fixed the flowers on your grave before putting the individual red rose in the middle remembering how much you loved that red flower then grabbing the old ones to dispose them before standing up and taking one last glance of you until his next visit.
He whispered his promise that he would come back over and over for the rest of his eternity, he had all the time in his hands anyways.
Six feet under
I can't help but wonder
If our grave was watered by the rain
Bloom
Bloom
Again
Crowley turned around to head over his bentley only to be met by your e/c eyes. He didn't even realized his grip on the flowers loosened as he blinked once, twice, more than enough to make sure he wasn't seeing things while raining and there you were like an epiphany standing on your red dress drenched in rain smiling like an idiot at him. You took deliberate steps closing in the gap between the two of you while you kept your eyes locked on his yellow serpent eyes that you grew to love.
"Y/n," Crowley whispered still trying to figure out how.
"Crowley," You put your hand on his cheeks caressing his wet skin with your thumb. You didn't even understood how, but you were happy. You missed him so much that you didn't say another word and just leaned in connecting your lips with his he didn't respond at first, but slowly he recognized you. It was really you, his beloved y/n. He had so many questions hanging on the back of his head, but he didn't dare to utter any of them. He didn't want to let you go and waste whatever miracle it was that brought you here.
All the muscles in each of your bodies molded into one. You and Crowley were in sync like a melody that you both practiced over and over again. Your hands made its way on the back of his neck tangling your fingers on his wet ginger locks, Crowley's hands gripped you tight yet at the same time gently trying not to break you under his touch. The intensity of yearning and all the other emotions that comes with it all swirled into one.
Out of breath you both parted staring at eachothers eyes. "I love you too." You softly spoke your truth.
Maybe whatever was up there was really listening. Either way Crowley held on you to the very last second of your borrowed time.
"We'll be together again someday." You reassured him while you smiled. Crowley just studied your face and for the first time in a while genuinely smiled and was happy. And it was enough as goodbye for the both of you... for now.
Help, I lost myself again
But I remember you
Kinda long A/N: honestly idk what to feel about this if its good or not in my 19 years of existence i always wrote fanfics imagines and stuffs but usually i usually put it up then delete it later because i dont have any confidence of my work but im trying again. this is my first time posting in tumblr though.i hope this is good, like it gave you feels because it did when i wrote it. please don't kill me that i made crowley straight oof 🥺 sorry for any mistakes again! thank you for taking time on reading this and if you reblog and press the heart thingy thank you so much i will love you forever 💕
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RIN!!
Don’t cry too hard today, RinRin!
#happy birthday rin!#free!#rin matsuoka#i love all the red/pink that's happening here#matsuoka rin#idk if i'm gonna get kisumi's clear file or not#but this concludes my personal birthday posts for the free boys this year#(minus what i need to reblog for rin later today)#maybe i'll post a picture of all eight files tomorrow?#since i didn't do individual posts for sousuke ai and momo#sorry i'm rambling#me
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I posted 1,118 times in 2021
31 posts created (3%)
1087 posts reblogged (97%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 35.1 posts.
I added 30 tags in 2021
#caps tw - 7 posts
#tw caps - 6 posts
#and you take the moon - 3 posts
#flash warning - 2 posts
#tw politics - 2 posts
#lgbtq - 2 posts
#and you take the moon - 2 posts
#eclectic witch - 2 posts
#tags for later - 2 posts
#politics tw - 2 posts
Longest Tag: 121 characters
#why did i have to listen to white boys blasting rap music at the back of the bus and saying every slur in the dictionary?
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Fun thing I have been shown:
Alt +2,5,8 - ☻
Alt +2,6,9 - ♪
Alt +2,4,7 - ≈
Alt +2,4,8 - °
Alt +2,4,9 - ∙
Alt +2,5,7 - ☺
Alt +2,5,9 - ♥
Alt +1,2,3 - {
Alt +4,4,4 - ╝
Alt +4,4,5 - ╜
I dont feel like testing more combos but its just pressing and holding alt and typing a series of 3 numbers. funky lil symbol time.
6 notes • Posted 2021-10-13 01:03:13 GMT
#4
Happy Take The Moon Monday Everyone
https://youtu.be/3UGT-peh9S8?t=8
7 notes • Posted 2021-06-22 00:36:45 GMT
#3
My major arcana cat tarot deck is coming out on NeonMob on the 29th!!! It's a collectable trading cards site, and it's free to play! I'll get money based on how many packs are sold and free packs are claimed, so please consider checking it out!
10 notes • Posted 2021-11-12 02:54:53 GMT
#2
I'm doing tarot readings now in a desperate attempt to get some cash! DM me on Discord if you are interested!
12 notes • Posted 2021-01-31 02:14:11 GMT
#1
pet peeve of mine: people using pentagrams to make something look evil.
1. The upright pentagram (the one with one point upwards) is a protection symbol in many pagan practices and beliefs. it is meant to ward off evil spirits, not condure them. It is only seen as evil because of the prejudice against witches caused by Christians shunning Satanists.
Speaking of which...
2. The reverse pentagram (with one point facing down) is a symbol of satanism. Satanism is normally seen as evil due to the large effect Christianity has on pop culture, but some of the core beliefs of satanists are individualism, self-respect, self-awareness and allowing the enjoyment of life. They believe that "negative" emotions like anger or hatred aren't things to avoid, but to work alongside, as they are necessary to our survival.
Pentagrams are not inherently evil. Please stop using them as symbols of evil.
59 notes • Posted 2021-06-27 12:17:38 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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So, uh... I created an OC.
Let's put some things on the table. First of all: I'm not useful at drawing. I tried my best because I only know the basics. If it looks too dirty and rough, mea culpa. Also, I searched YouTube videos to draw what I had on mind (like various videos of Ivanevsky and one video from Mili Koey to do this -both channels on spanish-) Google pics for reference for the laughter draw, and those kind of things. Also, big thanks to @artsymeeshee for her tips. Thank you.
The last is that this will be a long post (I'm sorry about it, I'm not used to do this kind of things).
[Also putting some Benny Goodman for the mood. You'll understand it later]
So, without more to say, I present you my bad boy: Terry.
Tried three different styles, and one of them I have all the process (I'll put the individual pics too). Because of my bad handwriting I'll transcript everything on screen:
He created the pompadour unintentionally two decades earlier.
Scar on his fat throath. Cause of Terry's death.
Normally his hair looks like this.
I don't why I gave him a pompadour but he seems cute with it.
So, a bit of Backstory of him (and infodumping, even if I hate that narrative resourcer):
Terry was a member of a mob on the 30 century on New York. He entered because of "personal issues". Because of an unknown reason, he was slained by his partners on a dark alley. However, his soul remained on a new level of existence, where he has to deal with a d krvwloh dpg pruh iuljkwhqlqj hqylurqphqw wkdq kh frxog kdyh hyhu lpdjlqhg.
End of Backstory
Also, I made a chart for him with data and more:
Average Data:
Name: Terrence "Terry" Rigamonti.
Birth Day: Nine of july, 1.903.
Nationality: Italian American (his mother was from Ireland?)
Death Day: Twenty-one of august, 1.933.
Occupation: Mobster.
Actual State: Deceased. Now a ghost.
Height: 5' 8" (one meter 'n fifty-five centimeters).
Weight: 200 pounds (Ninety kilograms)
Likes:
Chocolate.
Chess (really good on it). [Likes to play with the black chips]
Benny Goodman.
Dracula, from Ted Browning.
Capresse salad and his dad's cannolos.
Unlikes:
Betrayal and betray.
Being called with slurs about his size (gets upset 'bout it). [Fatso, pig, pudgy...]
Violin (his tried to teach him. It didn't end well).
Rainy days.
Stonewall's aperture [He doesn't how to fight it].
F E A R S:
Darkness.
Thalasophobia (fear to the sea).
To unknown things (H.P.L).
Loneliness.
Personality:
A bit coward (brave under pressure).
Timid.
Big hearted.
Touch starved.
A little easy to cheat.
Kind.
Has a lot of tenderness.
Low self-esteem (introvert).
Slightly joker (mid-bad humor taste) [Likes and laughs at bad jokes unintentionally].
Weak and puny.
So, that's everything you need to know about Terry. I hope you enjoyed the travel. Give it a like and reblog. See 'ya! :)
BTW: I changed weight and Height. I suck on mathematics.
#my oc art#oc#ocappreciation#original character#my art sucks#30's#mobster#gay ocs#Spotify#terry rigamonti
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