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derinwrites · 5 days

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How can I make money writing fiction?

I'm gonna be straight with you. There is no guarantee that you'll make enough as an independent writer to make it worth your time. You very well might -- I make a liveable wage as an independent writer -- but many don't. Most writers I know also have a job. And luck plays a big part in it.

If you're interested in going forward in spite of this, you have two main options for monetisation open to you, and you are going to have to pick one. I call them the sales model and the sponsorship model, and you are going to have to pick one.

The sales model involves writing stories and selling them to readers. You can put books up on Amazon or Smashwords, sell them direct from your own website, enlist the help of a traditional publisher to handle that for you and let them decide where to sell, whatever -- the point is that your money is made from the sale of books to readers. If you go with a traditional publisher, you're using this model (though they will give you some of the money ahead of time in the form of an advance). Most indie authors also use this model, publishing through draft2digital, Ingram Spark, direct through Amazon, whatever. I've never relied on the sales model and can't give you any advice on how to do this, but Tumblr is full of indie authors who probably can.

The sponsorship model involves soliciting small amounts of money from various readers over time. This is ideal for web serials, and it's what I use. I use Patreon, which is designed specifically for this purpose, but you can use other sites such as ko-fi. This model involves providing regular content for free, with bonuses for those who support you.

"Can't I do both? Sell books and have a Patreon?" You absolutely can! I know several indie authors with a Patreon. I sell my completed books as ebooks and will eventually sell them as paperbacks. But your time and attention is limited, and so is your audience's, and you're going to have to half-arse one of these in order to have enough arse to whole-arse the other. You're going to make a lo of decisions that benefit either the sponsorship model or the sales model, not both. So pick your primary income source early and commit.

I can only advise on writing web serials and using the sponsorship model, so I'll go ahead with that assumption. If you want to make a liveable wage doing this, not only will you need luck, you'll also need patience. This is not a fast way to build a career. at the end of my first year of doing this, I had one single patron, and they were a real-life friend of mine. When I reached an income of $100/month, I threw a little party for myself, I was so happy. It had taken such a long time and was so much work. I reached enough to cover rent/mortgage after I'd been doing this for more than four years. It's a long term sort of career.

Here are some general tips for succeeding in this industry, given by me, someone with no formal training in any of this who only vaguely knows what they're talking about:

Have a consistent update schedule and STICK TO IT

The #1 indicator for stable success in this industry (aside from luck, which we're discounting because you can't do much about that) is having a consistent update schedule. Your readers need to know when the next chapter is coming out, and it should be coming out regularly. Ideally, you should have no breaks or hiatuses -- if you're in a bus crash or something, that might be unavoidable, and your readers will understand if you tell them, but if you're stopping and starting a lot for trivial reasons, they WILL abandon you. You can't get away with that shit if you're not Andrew Hussie, and I'm pretty sure Andrew Hussie doesn't message me for career advice on Tumblr. If you find you need a lot of hiatuses to write fast enough then you're updating too often; change your schedule. A regular schedule is more important than a fast one (ideally it should be both, but if you have to pick between the two, pick regular).

2. Pay attention to your readership, listen to what they want from you

Your income is based on a pretty complicated support structure when you're using the sponsorship model. this model relies on people finding your story, liking your story, and continuing to find it valuable enough to keep paying you month after month. This means that your rewards for your sponsors should be things that they value and will continue to pay for ('knowing I'm supporting an artist whose work I enjoy' counts as a thing that they value, to my great surprise; there's a lot of people giving me money just for the sake of giving me money, so I can pay my mortgage and keep writing for them without needing a second job), but it also means supporting the entire network that attracts readers and keeps them having the best time they can with your story -- being part of a rewarding community. Because this is advice on making money, I'm going to roughly divide your readership into groups based on how they affect your bottom line:

sponsors. People giving you money directly. The importance of keeping this group happy should be obvious.

administration and community helpers -- discord moderators, IT people, guys who set up fan wikis, whoever's handling your mailing list if you have a mailing list. You can do this stuff yourself, or you can hire someone to do it, but if you're incredibly lucky and people enjoy being a part of your reader community, people will sometimes volunteer to do the work for free. If you are lucky enough to get such people, respect them. They are doing you a massive favour, and they're not doing it for you, but to maintain a place that they value, and you have to respect both of those things. My discord has just shy of 1,300 members and is moderated by volunteers. I'd peel my own face off if I had to moderate a community that large. If you've got people stepping up to do work for you, you need to respect them and you need to make sure that they continue to find that rewarding by doing what you can to make sure that the community they're maintaining is rewarding. Sometimes this means taking actions and sometimes this means staying the fuck out of the way. Depending on the circumstances.

fan artists. Once you have people drawing your characters, writing fanfic of your stories, whatever, treat these like fucking gold. Give them a space to do this, and more importantly, give them a space to do this without you in it. Fanworks are a symptom of engagement with your work, which is massively important. They are also a component of a healthy community, an avenue for readers to talk to each other and express themselves creatively to each other. Third, fanworks act as a bridge for new readers. When readers share their art on, say, Tumblr, it can intrigue new people and get them into the story. Your job in all of this is to give them the space to work, encourage them as required or invited (I reblog most TTOU fanart that I'm tagged in on Tumblr, for instance), and other than that, stay the fuck out of their way. These people are vital to the liveblood of your community, the continued engagement of your audience, and the interest of your sponsors. Some of the fan artists will be sponsors themselves; some won't be. Those who aren't sponsors are still massively valuable for their art.

speculators, conversers, theorists, livebloggers, and That Guy Who's Just Really Jazzed For The Next Chapter. Some people don't make art but just like to chat about your story. These people are a bedrock of the community that's supporting your sponsors and increasing your readership, and therefore are critical to your income stream. Give them a place to talk. Be nice to them when they talk to you. Sometimes, they'll ask you questions about the story, which you can choose to answer or not, however you feel is appropriate. They'll also want to chat about non-story-related stuff with each other, so make sure they have a place to do that, too.

that guy who never talks to you or comments on anything but linked your story to ten guys in his office who all read it now. Some of your supporters are completely invisible to you. You can't do anything for these people except continue to release the story and have a forum they can silently lurk on if they want to. But, y'know, they exist.

If you want to focus on income then these are, roughly, the groups of people that you will need to listen to and accommodate for. You can generally just make sure they have space to do their thing, and if they want anything else, they'll tell you (yes, guys, paperbacks will be coming eventually). Many people will fit into multiple groups -- I have some sponsors that are in every single one of these groups except the last. Some will only be in one group. A healthy income rests on a healthy community which rests on accommodating these needs.

3. If you can manage it, try to make your story good.

It's also helpful for your story to be good. Economically, this is far less important than you'd think -- there are some people out there writing utter garbage and making a living doing it. Garbage by what standards? By whatever your standards are. Just think of the absolute laziest, emptiest, hackiest waste-of-bandwidth story you can imagine -- some guy is half-arsing that exact story and making three times what you'll ever make on Patreon doing it. And honestly? Good for him. If he's making that much then his readers are enjoying it, and that's what matters. Still, one critical component of making money as a writer is writing something that people actually want to read. And you can't trick them with web serials, because they don't pay in advance -- if they're bored, they'll just stop. So you have to make it worth their time, money and attention, and the simplest way to do that is to write a good story.

This hardly seems mentioning, since you were presumably planning to do that anyway. It's basic respect for your audience to give them something worth their time. Besides, if we're not interested in improving our craft and striving for our best, what are we even writing for? I'm sure I don't need to tell you to try to write a good story. The reason I list this is in fact the opposite -- don't let "I'm not a good enough writer" paralyse you. The world is full of someday-writers who endlessly fuss over and revise a single story because it's not good enough, it's not perfect, they're not Terry Pratchett yet. Neither was Terry Pratchett when his first books were published. If you're waiting to be good enough, you won't start. I didn't think Curse Words was good enough when I started releasing it -- I still don't. I started putting it out because I knew it was the only way I'd get myself to actually finish something. I don't think it's all that great, but you know what? An awful lot of people read it and really enjoyed it. And if I hadn't released it, I'd have been doing those people a disservice.

Also, it taught me a lot, and based on what I learned, Time to Orbit: Unknown is much better. If I'd never released Curse Words, if I hadn't seen how people read it and reacted to it and seen what worked and what didn't, then Time to Orbit: Unknown wouldn't be very good. And it certainly wouldn't be making me a living wage, because it was the years writing Curse Words that started building the momentum I have today.

And Time to Orbit: Unknown as it is today has some serious problems. Problems that I'm learning from. And the next book will be a lot better.

So that's basically my advice for making money in this industry. Be patient, be lucky, be consistent. Value your community; it's your lifeline, even the parts of it that don't directly pay you. And try to make your story as good as you can, but make that an activity you do, not a barrier to prevent you from starting.

Good luck.

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ughgoaway · 2 months

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my favourite fics and writers

hi, y'all!! so I've decided that this year, I want to be more appreciative of all the amazing content we have on this app, and thank the writers providing it. this was inspired by Lily (lastnightwaskindofablur) who shared how long it took her to write her series, and it made me realise how much time and love are poured into these fics.

so this list is basically everyone im following, and my favourite piece of writing from them! I don't think I've forgotten anyone, but if I have IM SO SORRY!! if I am following you- I'm obsessed with you.

anyway, so sorry for tagging 1000 people but I love and appreciate you all so much!!

(so much rambling below the cut)

@64yrsold; “aches” is amazing and “wintering” is heartbreaking in the best way. Also, all of their one-shots are just amazing, I could read them over and over again!!

@abiiors; is not only one of the nicest people on this app (and maybe the world) but also one of the most talented writers. so so many amazing fics that honestly, don't even get me started on bc I will talk for HOURS. but “haunt//bed” is one fic I can't stop coming back to. And “Three’s a Party” is… mind-numbingly good, it actually made me scream into a pillow when I read it for the first time. Vee also creates all the amazing 75 Tumblr activities so really she is to thank for SO MUCH content on here!! one of the kindest people I know, and I feel so lucky to call her my friend :)))

@yourtouchismidas; “ruins” was one of the first fics that had me checking AO3 every day for updates. truly heartbreaking and all-encompassing. and all the blurbs from it are also amazing. The dad! Matty content mixed with the angst is just so well done.

@shinycollarboneapologist; was the blog where I started rambling and sharing ideas, so she is to thank for all the friends I've made on here!!! The Taylor verse is PHENOMENAL and “illicit affairs” is a fav. but “clandestine” has invaded my brain so much I literally dream about it regularly... so I have to say that's my no.1

@imagine-that-100; I first discovered her series "Drunk” on ao3 and then promptly binged everything on her masterlist (multiple times...) “Chicken Shop Date” is just a masterpiece (she and her co-writer are AMAZING on this and I will ramble about her later), but my personal fav is “truth serum”. I have probably read that fic about 50 times over and I love it just as much every time!!!

@heyidkyay; I first read “Who Can Say No to Bridezilla?” and became obsessed on ao3. but then I found them on Tumblr and was completely sucked into "I guess I'll take this pain, instead of your name" which is quite possibly the best George series on here. so much character building and back story, and overall just a phenomenal fic.

@justlikemebutsixfootthree; has some of the best smut on this app,” The Birthday Party” is probably my most re-read because it is just an absolute masterpiece. but “insane” and “direction” are also both amazing.

@imightgetbetter; was one of the first blogs I discovered on here, and I fell in love with the whole “Love It If We Made It” series. such an amazing development of a relationship and their writing is AMAZING. but my absolute favourites have to be “Bets are off” and “I love dilfs.”

@butyou-callmewhenyourebored; has such good Ross content all around, truly providing for the Ross girlies!!! but the Leeds au blurb 1 is my fav from them!

@drivelikeiido; has some beautiful fluff, and I just love the way they write Matty. but (not so) important decisions just make my heart warm like nothing else!!!

@toomuchracket; my beloved mads!! the fun wine aunt of 1975 Tumblr. I mean I could talk for 17 pages about my love for all of her au's... birthday party is the perfect supportive husband, d-word is the best slutty old man content on this app lol and flatmate is the friends-to-lovers content we all yearn for. asking me to choose my favourite Mads fic is like choosing a favourite child, but right now it has to be totally wrecked. I think that has altered my brain chemistry in an indescribable way… (edit; since writing this she has put out possibly my no.1 fic of all time, “and this is how it starts” so I just had to mention how much I fucking adore it)

@lottiecrabie; I mean... what else is there to even say about Lottie other than she is one of the best writers I have ever read. truly the mother of 1975 Tumblr. “rockstar girlfriend” and “pray for my soul” both have such special places in my heart, but anatomy au locked a new section in my brain fr. that little loser lives in my head rent free!!!

@tillthelandslide; is so so kind and has some amazing series I would recommend to EVERYONE. “insufferable asshole” is one of my absolute favourites, I love a grovelling man what can I say!!! but “Same for You” has me flipping sides every chapter, I still can't choose if I'm team Ross or team Matty.

@lastnightwaskindofablur; what more can I sat about the whole ATPOAIM universe other than it is quite literally phenomenal. the amount of time and effort poured into the Brittany Jackson universe is so clear by how amazing each fic and blurb is. my absolute favourite thought is "Christmas isn't cancelled (just you.)" from the 12 days of Christmas. it is easily one of my favourite fics I've read!!! She is also the whole inspiration behind this list and made me realise how important thanking your favourite writers really is.

@cowboylor; ohmyLORD the smut on this blog is just... wowowoowowowow. actually made me nervous to attempt smut because of how good theirs is. "Cabin Fever" is probably my favourite, I love a good threesome fic.

@alovesreading; the other half of the JAW DROPPING series that is “Chicken Shop Date”. the hours that have been put into that fic are so clear in how well thought out it is. every word feels purposefully placed, and every chapter fucking HITS. A also writes amazing fics for Alex Turner and is slowly making me an Alex girlie just by how good her writing is...

@bookish-strawberry; such such good fics in the "You and Me Till the End Universe". Ambrose has just created such loveable characters and you can't help but adore his writing. “alleyway” pt 1 and 2 are my favourites, I do love some fwb content.

@hypersonic04; her teacher Ross universe is just great, every blurb and fic just radiates the love between the characters that she has created!! but my absolute favourite fic of hers has to be "Tis the damn season", it somehow made me love one of my favourite songs even more.

@cows-wearing-my-sweater; has some amazing one-shots, and his work on “Eternal Summer” is absolutely beautiful. she manages to make you feel the warmth of summer through a screen, and it's fucking beautiful.

@poisonmedaddy13; Ross girlies do I have the blog for YOU. so much good Ross-tent, but my all-time favourite is the “Mirrorball” series. As someone who HEAVILY relates to that song, that fic is just... so so real and amazing. every chapter is just as good as the last, if not better!

@cryley; her “Petichor” series is just fluffy perfection, I have probably read it over 10 times and will 1000% be reading it at least 10 more...

@thefrontofmymind; has so many great matty fics/imagines, “Helping Hand” jumps out easily as my favourite though. Once again, friends with benefits is ALWAYS gonna slap. especially when they confess their feelings at the end!!!! ahhh so good. “Proof Positive” is such a good Ross fic, if you like pregnancy fics I would HIGHLY recommend it.

@uramilf; did the 12 days of Christmas last year, and every day was amazing!!! But £The Record Shop” is my favourite series from her, love and music combined are too perfect for me not to adore.

@3terna15unshin3; Marcey's fic "then because she goes" had me refreshing ao3 DAILY. este is such a well-rounded and beautiful character, her and Matty's love makes me so lovesick it's CRAZY. that whole series is my favourite, and my fav blurb from that universe is Toothbrush. Este and Matty are so beloved by me <333

@because-she-goes; has an amazing universe with Matty and an OC that I adore, Nora is such a lovely character and every fic about them makes me giddy. "black lace" and "Summer Girl" are my favourites of their fics though!

@theseventyfive; has such a way with words, every fic makes me giggle and kick my feet. but if you saw my tags on my reblog of "not so secret Santa" you know how deeply I adore that fic. the writing on it is beautiful and makes you feel warm somehow??? amazing.

@wrongendofurcigarette; George girlies it's your time to shine!!!! "sun-soaked" and "wet" swirl in my mind whenever I see a pic of George looking... particularly good. but recently she has created an actress reader au that I am BUZZING for. that little snippet was... wowowowowowowow

@automaticllamacycle; OLIVE!!!!! once again, such a nice and genuine human being and I am so so lucky to chat with her because she is the best hypeman EVER. and is amazing to bounce ideas off of. just such a kind person and I am blessed to scream to her over DM. her coffee shop AU might be my most-read fic ever. it was my daily routine at one point to wake up, go to AO3 and read that fic. when part 2 came out???? I DIEDDDDDDD. but also all of olives horny thoughts are... MUWAH chefs kiss.

@red---moon; "after party" is another fic I read regularly on ao3, sleepy matty after a party with flirting and then smut??? hellooooo yes please. also, “Souvenir” as a series is just amazing, so so so good.

@maxverstappensflatbrim; “show me yours” is such a beautiful universe, and has SO MANY CHAPTERS for you to become obsessed with. I just love every character in that universe, and Mac’s writing is amazing.

@justanamesstuff; “All I Need” is such an amazing series, and I would recommend it to anyone who loves Dad! Matty content!! But all her blubs are worth reading too!!

@procrastinatinglikeapro; is so so sweet and has some absolutely mind-blowing fics. I must have read her entire masterlist 10 times over at this point. Choosing a favourite is hard, but “Does it matter” as a series has me HOOKED. (but also I love “mango lipgloss” and “wear my name around your neck”… don't make me choose okay)

@mybrokenveins3000; college ross SUPREMACY!!! She is right when she says she is proud of “everyday rockstar” because it's easily my fav!!

@wrestletotheground; has some absolute BANGERS that everyone MUST read. Once again, the ross-tent on this blog is amazing. “Crime and Punishment” is my fav Matty fic from them, and she absolutely killed it with “Settle Down” for Ross!!

@steel-elle; beautiful writing with everything she does, but my favourite has to be “But I stay when it's hard, or it's wrong, or we're making mistakes” (is this also because I love the song New Year's Day?? perhaps…)

@kscheibles; “e la vita” is so stunning I don't even know how to verbalise it. That fic has a portion of my heart FOREVER. But college bf! Matty is truly the man we all deserve, and I am obsessed with him.

@think0fmehigh; molly!!! My love!!! What else is there to say about Molly other than she might be my fav filthy smut writer on this app, and thats a tough competition. Every time I get a snippet in DM’s from her, I feel like one of the luckiest human beings alive. Molly does not have a bad fic (despite her protests im sure) but my top two (because I CANT CHOOSE JUST ONE) have to be “Birthday Girl” and “You Get Me So High.” but honestly if you have the time, bless your life by reading every word she's ever written.

@controlmyfeet; DAD MATTY FIC. thats all I even need to say, it is SO SWEET and it makes me so happy!!!!

@bfiaflbox; sooooo much good content, but my favourites are “Wintering” and “Tonight I Wish I Was Your Girl” !!

@nowshesdoingitallthetime; kirke. This is me BEGGING for more bartender matty!!! “Cocktails, Cowboys and back alleys” is MWUAH MWUAH MWUAH. Bartender Matty is a need, I adored every second of that fic.

@wiintring; I NEED more from Christina!!! Her writing is all wonderful, and “Come here dressed in black now” does live in my mind!!!

@grocerystorelist; “body of Christ” is made for the religious trauma girlies and the fleabag girls. PREIST MATTY DRIVES ME CRAZYYYYY. Leila is so talented, it's crazy.

@forcryingoutlloud; wowwowwowwow the smutty content on this blog… its sooooooo good. “Beg for it” and “greedy” did melt my brain in the absolute best way, like I was genuinely SWEATING at how hot it was. As is everything on her masterlist!!

@hrryshoney; gyno! Matty unlocked a whole new side to me that I had NO IDEA was there. Like… insane. And the newest photographer reader fic also drove me CRAZY because I do love a cocky fictional man and some semi-public sex…

@the1975attheirverybest; Halla’s blog is a great place for discussion, good writing and crazy intelligent analysis of the band. “Education” and “being funny in a foreign language” are just… art. Truly. The character of Amelia and the characterisation of Matty are some of my favourites on this app. Hot smut, good writing and a lovely human being- what else do you need hellooo?? (also the pegging blurb from ages ago… yeah I think about her A LOT.)

@sugar-coat-it; FILTY, AMAZING SMUT. literally, every piece on Belle’s masterlist is worth reading 100 times over. Her newest thigh-riding blurb has been rotting my brain, I can't stop going back to it and reading it. Also, the Kylo Ren fic… mask kink unlocked fr. and the matty helping you deepthroat fic is also incredible. (can I just name everything she's done orrr???)

@cinomn; Nina has some great content, and I would genuinely recommend anything!! My favourite has to be “Summer Nights”, but it's a TOUGH competition tbh!!

@noacfslut; THE WRITING SPEED ON THIS BLOG?? MIND BOGGILING. And not only is Elle speedy, but every fic all absolutely wonderful. “Jealousy jealousy” and “undo” are my favourites, but that might change when I get the chance to read her mechanic au, because from what I've heard, it's also extraordinary.

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doodlekoo · 10 months

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OUCH | pjm

Summary: you hurt your foot and Jimin thinks your gonna die

Pairing: boyfriend!jimin x fem?reader (mentions pronouns a few times)

Word count: 2.4k

Rating: PG

Genre/Warnings: established relationship, injury, pain, implied?verbal abuse, explicit language, kissing, FLUFF HEH (my favourite), oc is so in love with Jimin

Note: hello fellow fluff lovers, i’m so sorry i’ve been ia for 10 months i was focusing on finishing my final year for college. tbh creative writing isn't my strong point it’s more of a side hobby so please understand i won’t be updating regularly i’ll probably be posting more so when I'm bored and feel like it ahahaha. I do want to point out thanks to all those who liked my previous stories. I really do appreciate it it’s great motivation!! anywho this story was based on when i hurt my foot (it was a more gross story but still hurt like a bitch) i tried limping home but the entire time i wished someone would carry me and care for me the way jimin does in the ff (sad i know). i originally wanted it to be longer going into detail about Jimin’s backstory but i thought short and sweet was better SO ENJOY i hope you all like it :)

and as always please let me know what you guys think and if you want more stories like this! please also leave a like and/or reblog if you enjoyed reading! :D

A warm sensation spreads through your body, engulfing you in a comforting embrace. You couldn't help but smile as a sense of contentment washed over you. The day had been a success. You followed every command and every instruction that your superiors had asked you to follow. Starting a new job was a challenging experience, one you hadn’t gone through before. The memory of your previous employment still haunts you, the echoes of your coworkers' voices reverberating in your mind as they berated you for the slightest of missteps. Not only was it stressful to deal with that every day, but you would also feel even more drained coming home after the endless regrets ran through your mind.

The more you worked at that god-awful place, the more your thoughts grew—were these issues truly insignificant, or were they looming large and you simply lacked the perspective to see them?

Your boyfriend, Jimin, was constantly begging you to quit the job since the sight of you so wrapped up in absolute guilt crushed him every day. Jimin only wanted what was best for you. The stubbornness he had over you was often a hard take but it was only ever going to be beneficial. As the begs increased in volume, your guilt scaled high, resulting in an endless cycle.

You knew you had to do it. Gathering yourself mentally and emotionally to utter those two liberating words took a great deal of courage.

"I quit."

You said it slightly quietly, still unsure. but you were stern about it with an attempt at a demeaning stare. In your head, you felt pretty confident with the way you delivered it, only to have that confidence descend with the sudden scoffs followed by the classic response, "Is that supposed to impress me?"

Perhaps Jimin was right. The testosterone in the room was unbearable at this point, and that slow, excruciating deterioration of your brain was just really not worth it. Staring back at your manager, you remained undeterred.

"I'll be handing in my notice tomorrow."

It was never worth creating an argument with your manager or anyone who lacked basic brain cells, in fact. That simple interaction only changed you for the better, and slowly but surely you felt you had a little more respect for yourself.

As you navigate the bustling street after your third shift, a palpable aura of rejuvenation surrounds you, causing your steps to take on a playful bounce. The faint aroma of coffee lingers on your clothes. The joy felt completely surreal, almost like time and space had been warped. Though the relentless bombardment of verbal abuse made your mind gradually deteriorate, it now made even the most challenging tasks a mere cakewalk.

The rain had been hammering down on the cafe windows for most of the day, so when you were met with the fortunate sun slowly peeking out from the clouds, you felt enveloped with its warmth, feeling it gradually filling your mind up with a little extra dose of serotonin.

Several metres or so away from your workplace, in a small back alley, you could smell the damp brick encroaching on your senses. Looking farther ahead, you saw the recent confrontation you were only slowly getting used to. It was amusing to you that a couple of steps were the only thing you had to worry about in your new day-to-day life. It was a sign that you were at least doing something right. You braced yourself for the steep steps that lay ahead while keeping in mind the wet, slick concrete.

And at that moment, the serotonin vanished. As the calmness of the moment dissipated, a surge of anxiety and adrenaline took over. Your heart plummeted as you failed to catch those final steps. Your foot barely brushes the step's edge. As you stumbled, your ankle gave way beneath you, sending you tumbling to the ground.

You squealed, trying not to make any noise, as a wave of pain shot from your foot up through your body when the weight followed.

"Ouch,"

You hissed in pain as you sat at the foot of the steps. Looking absolutely helpless. The surrealness seemed to slip away as the situation unfolded before your eyes. Your mind wandered in silence. As you glanced around, a wave of relief washed over you as you realised that no one had witnessed your mortifying disaster.

I'm fine. I'm fine. You managed to convince yourself that you could make it home since the distance to your house was less than a mile. I can limp; it's fine. You reached for the railing and attempted to pull yourself up, only to be reacquainted with the searing pain you'd felt before.

Fuck.

You personally don't like to worry excessively about pain and injuries because you've always considered it a waste of time to acknowledge the warnings your body gave you. As the numbness set in, you realised that the situation was far worse than you had initially thought. Your body lay still and unresponsive, leaving you with only your thoughts to keep you company.

Along with the overwhelming urge to get up and leave, you also had the nagging fear that someone could hear a small person yelping at the bottom of the steps and decide to make a huge deal out of it. You know one person, Jimin, who would take his time over an insignificant issue. He would be the one to hire a golden carriage and transport you in grandeur, as the conclusion to convincing you that you needed to rescue yourself from those said scary steps. That was the worst-case scenario in your mind. However, it reached the point where you would rather have him make this big of a deal than a complete stranger who would have thought you were weak, whereas Jimin was certain that you are not.

A soft, sad sigh escapes your lips as your hand instinctively reaches for the back pocket of your jeans. With fingers trembling in anticipation, you searched for Jimin's name. As you raised your phone to your ear, you sensed your heart rate accelerating. Your nerves were on edge, and you did not want to burden Jimin with any additional worries. Making Jimin anxious was punishment enough. Every day, catching a glimpse of Jimin's radiant smile was like a burst of sunshine, flooding your world with a second dose of serotonin. But the thought of not being able to bring that smile to his face or turn it into a beaming grin was gnawing at your insides.

"Hey, ___, I’m so sorry. I’ll be home soon! I’m just out with Namjoon and Hobi!" Jimins' amplified voice, together with the distant chatter in the background, echoed through the alleyway. "No, Jimin i-"

"It was just- Hobi wanted us to come see designs after work, and naturally we all piled into the bar! We are finishing up now!"

"Jimin, that's not why I'm calling…" You replied with a low tone.

"Huh?? Sorry babe, I can't hear you that well!" You chuckled to yourself at the agonising situation. Oh Jimin..

"Jimin, I fell.."

"Sorry, what was that??"

"I don’t know Jimin. I fell down these steps, and I can't get up. It's so embarrassing. I don't know what to do.."

"Shit. Stay there. I'm coming now. Where are you?" The way Jimin's entire demeanour shifts over the phone, it intimidates the hell out of you.

"I’m just outside that alleyway from my work... Do you know the one?"

"Yes, I do. I’ll be there in five minutes." And with that, Jimin ends the call.

"Fuck. That was my girlfriend. I’m so sorry guys, I have to go" Jimin, on the other hand, was shitting it. Hearing your frightened voice over the phone was enough for him to travel day and night to you.

"Is something wrong?" Namjoon asked, apprehensive. He'd only see Jimin's expression like this when something was seriously wrong.

"I'm not sure, I think she’s hurt. I'll see you guys soon." Jimin said, frantically stuffing all his things in his bag. "Aw, alright, I hope she’s okay," Hoseok chirped.

"I hope so too. Bye!!" And just like that, Jimin literally flew outside the bar door. Foot harsh on the pedal. On his way: to you.

You kept your eyes on the cracks along the walls, waiting for Jimin. In the end, a few people did come by, but you covered it up by sitting on the floor and talking on your phone, and they didn't seem to notice. It's currently quiet as the sun is descending. But eventually you could hear faint, sporadic panting in the distance. It was the said saviour of the day.

"___!! Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay?? What happened?!?" Jimin gasped, looking at you like a precious gem that had cracked.

"I’m alright, just a little stumble. But I can't stand up, and it’s annoying." With a faint chuckle, you replied. You looked up at him, hoping to see his gaze soften and persuade him that it wasn't such a major issue, but his anxious expression didn't fade.

Scrambling towards you, he examined your ankle carefully, gently touching it in the process.

"Hm, I’m not a doctor, but I think maybe you sprained it. We should go to the hospital." He announced it sincerely.

"NO. I mean- no Jimin, no hospital, please; it’s not a big deal."

"Are you sure? I mean, you said you couldn’t even stand up?" It was endearing that Jimin tried to convince you, but because you didn't want to feel even more embarrassed, you simply scowled at him and hoped he understood what you were trying to imply.

"Okay, okay, let’s go home then." Jimin let out a little giggle at your silliness. But he now knew it was time for him to take on the doctor role and oh how Jimin would take that role very seriously. "Right, I need to carry you to the car then, can you try and get on my back?"

Jimin crouched in front of you after turning around. You used your entire upper-body strength to push yourself onto Jimin's back by reaching for his shoulders. His arms came back around and supported you from behind before he stood up and repositioned you.

"You okay?" Jimin asks once again. "Yes. Thank you, Jimin."

You scoot closer to his back, not just so he can carry you, but also so you can embrace him. Jimin carefully made his way back up the steps and onto the busy street, attempting to find his way back to the car park. You felt embarrassed by the many stares so you cuddled your face closer into the back of Jimin's neck.

It felt safe there, and you could smell his perfume's mild flowery scent mingled with the peppermint notes of his shampoo. Oh, how he always smelled so good. You smiled into his neck and pecked him lightly. This elicited a slight chuckle from him.

Jimin gently places you in the passenger seat and carefully rearranges your legs. He tightens the seatbelt and ensures you're safe and secure. You glance up at him, speechless. After the manner in which he's been treating you, the decision to call him for assistance felt extremely justifiable. As your gaze lingers on Jimin, he catches your eye, and a soft chuckle escapes his lips once more.

"Is this okay?" Jimin asked with a grin. "Yes, Jimin, this is perfect." As your gaze met his, a rush of warmth flooded your heart. The way he looked at you with such tenderness and affection was a feeling beyond words. To have someone who cherished you so deeply was truly a gift beyond measure. A rosy hue crept up Jimin's cheeks, causing his smile to widen even further.

Closing your door and driving back to the house was quite quiet, but it also felt soothing and safe at the same time. Jimin carried you on his back once again while fumbling to retrieve his keys from his pocket to open the door. Making his way to the sofa, he plopped you down softly.

"Okay, wait there. Don't go anywhere; I’m going to find a bandage." You laughed and shook your head at his stupid yet endearing joke.

When Jimin returned 10 minutes later, he did not only return with a bandage but also with half the house. Blankets, pillows, comfy clothes, a big bowl of snacks, and on top, the said bandage. You couldn’t even see his concentrated face through the massive mountain of love.

Your laughs echoed throughout the room once again while Jimin dumped everything beside you. He then carefully helps you undress into your loungewear and, following a YouTube tutorial, attempts to wrap the bandage around your foot. Watching him all focused on you made your heart flip around the room. He is so adorable.

"Okay, I think that’s good. Now do you want a pillow under your foot as well?" Jimin asked you politely. "I think it’s alright like this." You look at him, smiling.

"Hm, scratch that, I’m getting you a pillow."

When Jimin returns from getting a pillow, he gently lifts your feet to place it beneath them. He then throws various fluffy blankets over you while tucking in the sides, making sure once again that you don’t go anywhere. Looking back at you, he moves in close, giving you a soft peck on your forehead. With a mischievous glint in his eye, he momentarily retreats before leaning back in, peppering your face with a flurry of playful kisses. The two of you erupt into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, your heads thrown back in pure love and joy.

"Now what should I put on the TV for you?" Jimin sits beside you after grabbing the TV remote. "Anything I don’t mind."

Jimin then proceeds to put on your favourite film. Pressing play; he looks at you with a soft smile. "Please be more careful; I hate seeing you hurt like this." He pats your head gently while wrapping his arm around you.

"I’ll try not to Jimin ''. You say as you move closer to him, resting your head on his chest.

Paying close attention to the rest of the movie, your sixth sense tells you Jimin isn't watching it at all; he's staring at your ankle, hoping nothing will hurt it any further.

#bts x reader #bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts ff #bts fluff #bts #kpop #bts one shot #jimin #park jimin #jimin x you #jimin x reader #bts jimn #jimin fluff #jimin fanfic #fluff #pjm #bts fanfic

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willalove75 · 5 months

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ANNOUNCEMENT / UPDATE!!

Hello friends!!

I know I've been MIA for like, over a month lol and I'm so sorry!

Lots of things (good and exciting things!) have been happening that I can finally share with all of you!

As many of you know I had to take a bit of a break from writing because I was pretty sick for a while, but I can finally talk about what's been going on!

I'M PREGNANT!!!

AND ITS A BOY!!

A little manthing!!! Heheh

So the reason I was so sick was because of morning sickness (which is just a fucking lie of a term bc that shit lasted all day every day. In my case I was fine in the mornings but got more sick as the day went on. By 6pm I was so fucking sick. Thank god I never threw up but fuck was I close a few times. It was awful).

But I am officially 14 weeks and due June 1!! This is mine and my husbands first child and we're both so excited.

Now that I'm finally feeling better I promise to get back into a normal writing schedule. It may take a second to get back into the swing of things but my goal is to get back to updating my series fics regularly and finally getting back to catching up with the damn near 100 asks in my inbox😅

I will probably be taking some kind of "maternity leave" from here for a bit around the time the nugget is due, but I have absolutely 0 plans of abandoning my fics or you guys! It won't be for a while and of course I'll keep you all updated whenever that's happening.

But for now I'm gonna get back to fic writing and responding to the amazing asks you guys have sent me!!

Love you all so, so much. Thank you all for your continued support💕💕💕

#willalove75 #hannah waddingham #lady dimitrescu #alcina dimitrescu #rebecca welton

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thebibliosphere · 10 months

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this is probably the worst time to ask, but im gearing up to try to publish my novel and you mentioned book twitter writing twitter is great for resources for doing that, this is my first novel and im not really in these kinds of spaces, do you have a short list of people i could follow to kind of shimmy my way into that whole scene and get the help im looking for in learning how to make this all work?

It depends on what you mean by trying to make it work. Do you mean "how to get published?" or do you mean "who do I network with?"

Because if you're doing indie pub, I've got a post that somewhat covers basic platforms as well as some resources. I'll probably be posting a more in-depth version of it over on @joydemorra at some point so it's easier for people to find. (an aside to anyone who has read my previous publishing posts: I am withdrawing my business from Ingram Spark and switching to draft2digiral for all future work. Ingram is just fucking up left, right, and center lately. Even for the trad-pub authors.)

Even if you're not going the self-pub route and are trying for trad-pub, I'd suggest giving David Gaughran's "Let's Get Digital" book a read (available free on his website). He updates his work regularly based on current data, too, so it's a good resource to keep an eye on.

As for who to network with? I'm not really sure what to tell you there. I follow people I vibe with as well as places like the Author's Guild on Twitter just to keep abreast of things affecting the industry, but there's no one person I'd tout as a must-follow to get into the industry.

The success of book twitter wasn't just the ability to viral in the zeitgeist, it primarily came from forming writing communities within the larger community itself so that you could build your own support network.

I keep toying with the idea of trying to do something similar here on Tumblr because, honestly, the writerblr community is filled with some stunning talent. We just lack a central hub and support system to help get our seen by wider audiences.

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fallenclan · 1 month

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Related to FallenClan designs! All your designs are super amazing, what’s your simplifying process/how do you decide design for cat pelts? Cause I always struggle with simplifying/deciding how they look especially bengals and cats with white patches… thanks if you respond!

I’m ADHD and struggle with consistency and simplifying lol, though more complex designs are pretty, I lean more towards what you do w/ you’re cats as they are simple but still super pretty + it makes it easier to consistently draw them all for stuff like this! (These comic like moon updates :])

(Also hope none of this came off as offensive, it’s all meant positively! I really really admire you and your designs :])

ty for the compliments!!! very sweet ask and I shall do my best to give a good response o7

generally my method with designing characters/drawing is to just wing it. fuck it we ball basically. but i DO take a lot of inspiration from other people's warriors art, taking the time to analyze what i like about their styles and what different sorts of patterns i can use

(i also regularly consult the Clangen Sprite Guide for better looks at white patches/tortie patterns and such, highly recommend)

the first thing i decide when i'm designing a new cat is what fur texture i want them to have. i have four that I pick from (pictured below, in order), wavy, spiky, curly, and square.

i decide the fur pattern based on the cat's personality (a more stoic cat might have square fur, while someone more bubbly might have curly, or someone more excitable have spiky, so on and so on), and also based on their parents/how many cats i've designed with that fur pattern recently.

after that is snout shape, which is probably my favorite part. i love to draw cats with a very pronounced snout, not unlike an oriental shorthair, but i generally slide around between that and a more typical, stubby snout, occasionally veering off into the very square snout of a maine coon. this is also a great spot to determine how sharp you want their jaw to be, which is something that can really help set a design apart! (a couple of snout examples below)

then i usually move onto colors. i like to pick an undertone for the cat first, so i know what sort of pallate to work with. as you can see in the pictures below, ravenstar has a purple/blue undertone, and toadbelly has orange/red undertones

this helps me make all the colors look nicer together, so i don't end up doing something like making a very warm colored cat with blue-toned white patches (which would make the white patches look super cold/too bright), which can be a really cool stylistic choice, but isnt what i tend to go for

once i've drawn out the cats fur shape and picked my colors, i'll move onto the base coat. over my time of having the fallenclan blog i've discovered that having a very simple pattern underneath the normal pattern can add a lot of visual interest to a cat, and make them look less plain.

here's a good example! one of the first cats i designed, oaktuft. their pattern was super basic--one base color, plus the inside of the ears, and then the color of their patterns.

and here's another cat that i designed a little more recently--Shiverspots! you can see that even just the small change of adding a bit of a lighter color to her underbelly made a world off difference. plus my style got a lot more defined lol

i have a couple of different base patterns that i use. here's a few more examples. i've even started to experiment with more than two colors!

once i've got the base done i move onto patterns. this part can definitely be tricky; trying to make a dozen brown tabbies with short fur be distinct can be . a challenge. i like to follow the steps of what i've already designed--a cat with spiky fur might have very sharp, angular stripes, and a cat with curly fur might have much rounder ones.

i think a good rule of thumb for if your pattern feels a little too basic is just to throw some more colors in there. another shade of orange, a more pale tint to some of them, whatever. and don't be afraid to erase it and start again! sometimes a design just won't work, and thats fine :)

the final thing i do is to add little design quirks. a particularly sharp jawline, downturned eyes, a crooked smile or a gap tooth, whatever! little things can really give your cats character.

i really hope that this helped!!!

#fallenasks #fallenreferences #<new tag i guess???#looking back at this i suppose i lied at the beginning . i do have somewhat of a method

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evandorkin · 3 months

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Everything is really hectic these days for a number of reasons, it's hard to post to four social sites and update the Patreon regularly, so I miss this one a lot. I'm mostly on Bluesky and IG, Bluesky mostly for nerd talk with comics people, IG for art, my cat Winky the Pirate Girl, crappy horror movies and shitty food (and sometimes I sell small drawings). Twitter is where I seem to be answering questions about The Eltingville Club and blocking scumbags, dimwits and ads. I try to dip in there and get out asap. Anyway, I appreciate the folks who follow me here, I'll try to follow up on posting here more often. I'll probably fail to do it, to be honest. But thanks for following me here.

#evandorkin #comics #the eltingville club #milkandcheese #horrormovies #drawing #thanks for the follow #social fucking media #blah blah blah #it's all too much #appreciation post #hey #ho #gotta go

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zablife · 1 year

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Tachipen (Part 5)

Summary: With the flip of a coin, Tommy makes a deal to bring a young gypsy girl into the Shelby clan. Considering her too young to marry, he takes pity on her and employs her as a nanny for John’s children instead. The arrangement soon sours when Tommy believes his horse has been cursed and demands her help stealing from the Lees. When she seeks solace in John’s company, an innocent romance blossoms, but a war with the Lees and Polly’s poorly-timed advice drive them apart in a way that will change their history forever. As the scenes from the present reveal, Y/n must watch the Shelby men go on to love others while she is shut out. However, the events of one tragic afternoon could change everything.

Author’s Note: After a 5 month hiatus, this story is back! I'll be updating more regularly now that I've outlined more of the fic. The story is told through flashbacks, but I will note the year. Tommy meets y/n in 1919 and the story goes thru present time which is the year of the vendetta, 1925.

Warnings: language, ethnic slur, implied smut, mention of pregnancy, mention of arranged marriage

Part 4

1924

The frosted glass shook as Polly forcefully closed John’s office door, her eyes darting from you to her nephew. “What is this I hear about the two of you sniping at one another like bloody children?”

You and John both started speaking at once and Polly shouted over you to assert authority. “That’s enough! John, perhaps you could explain why you’re even in the office today?” she asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. “Y/n is perfectly capable of supervising the other girls.”

John opened and closed his mouth a few times in shock, giving the appearance of a fish out of water before you interjected. “He’s been hovering over me for weeks, Pol. Won’t let me finish one fucking job without trying to find a mistake!”

John pointed a finger in your direction as he retorted, “If she could keep her mind on her work instead of her love life for a change--”

“Would you stop?!" you screamed, interrupting him mid-sentence. You felt the emotion welling in your chest and did your best to keep from crying. Running a shaky hand through your hair, you took a deep breath to regain control before continuing your plea to Polly. "I did as I was told. I broke up with Angel and I apologized…” you stopped before you broke down, then continued with the part that stung most, “for the inconvenience.” Those had been the words Arthur insisted you use. He’d probably consulted Linda about it at the first sign of trouble, you thought bitterly.

Polly softened at your show of emotion, reaching across the table for your hand. “Alright, I think I understand. John, would you leave us, please?” John nodded with clenched jaw, pushing out of his chair with more force than necessary. He looked back at you as he crossed to the door and you swore you saw a brief shadow of remorse cross his handsome features though you couldn’t be sure with the lingering tension between you.

When you were finally alone, Polly began, “Y/n, I’m sorry about this. I know you’re upset about the Changretta boy and I don’t blame you, but what’s done is done. And you must understand that John is under a lot of stress at home. I’m not sure if you know this, but there's another little one on the way,” she said hesitantly.

“Again?” you nearly shrieked. It was the third time in the nearly four years he'd been married.

Polly nodded slowly. “You see why he’s so on edge lately?”

You swallowed thickly, thinking of how chaotic the household must be with six children, soon to be seven. Although you attempted a shred of compassion for his new wife, you couldn’t manage it. “Yes, I understand,” you said in a quiet monotone. “He has a lot of people depending on him.” It was what Polly wanted to hear so you spoke the words, turning your head away so she couldn’t read your expression.

“Exactly. I know it doesn’t excuse his behavior here, but we all have to learn to get along,” she advised, giving your hand a gentle squeeze before leaving you alone in the room. A bitter laugh escaped your throat at the thought of any of you living peacefully after all you’d inflicted upon one another.

—————————————————-

1919

As the first rays of dawn broke, you sat up in bed, face aching from the bruise across your cheek and your mind reeling from the events of the previous day. If Tommy hadn’t trusted you before, there was no hope for you now with so much cash missing from the betting shop, especially when he learned the Lees were to blame. How could he not think you were involved?

Panic setting into your bones, you decided to make a hasty retreat from Polly’s house while you still could. Despite the throbbing in your wrist, you slipped your dress over your head and silently turned the bedroom doorknob, giving the hallway a quick glance for occupants. With no signs of activity, you slipped quietly down the steps and right to the front door, knowing this would be the most difficult part of your escape. The rusty hinges creaked loudly and you cringed at the noise, well aware of how it carried throughout the house. Rightfully so as Tommy’s voice beckoned to you at the sound. “Where are you off to so early?” his husky voice called out.

You spun around to face him, heart pounding in your chest as you waited for his wrath to rain down upon you. You calculated the distance to the street, wondering if you might still be able to outrun him, when he suddenly closed the distance between you, shutting the door with a gentle push.

As he stared into your eyes, he spoke again in a much softer voice. “I misjudged you."

You held your breath realizing how close he stood, the heat radiating off his body into yours. Transfixed by the intensity of his bright, blue eyes, you couldn’t help but stare back at him. The anxious flutter you felt in your stomach intensified as you waited to hear what he thought he knew about you.

“What you did for Ada last night was…” he looked away for a moment as he tried to find the words to express the gratitude he felt upon hearing of Ada’s difficult labor and delivery. “Well, my sister and nephew are alive because of you. You could have gone with the Lees, but you stayed here,” he said, emphasizing the last part. You realized he was recognizing the loyalty in your decision, though for you it had been a matter of common decency.

“Thank you,” he added hesitantly and you could tell from the way he said it, he didn’t make a habit of ingratiating himself to others.

“I only did what I thought was right,” you said, averting your eyes to the floorboards.

One look at your tense posture and Tommy took a step back to give you air. He gestured toward the table as he asked, “Will you sit with me?” You nodded slowly, crossing to join him at the kitchen table. Tommy took a seat and lit a cigarette, leaning back and tilting his head as he searched the ceiling through the rings of smoke. Then the words tumbled forth, breaking the awkward silence unexpectedly.

“About that night in the stable… I brought you here to look after my family and I had to know I could trust you. Charlie thought you might have put a spell on the horse and for a moment I believed him.” Sitting up and looking you in the eye he added, “But when I asked you for the truth, I could tell by your reaction that it wasn’t your doing.”

Your eyes grew wide at his confession. You hadn’t expected him to speak of it ever again and the thought of him bringing it up now made you shudder. With a dismissive air and bitter tone you pushed it away saying, “M used to it. No one trusts gypsies.” You hugged your arms around your body to still your trembling limbs, hoping Tommy would’t recognize weakness in you.

“It’s not right though,” he said looking you in the eye. “I should never have…”

“No, you shouldn’t, you bastard” you interjected, jaw firmly set at the mention of his cruel treatment.

Tommy sucked his teeth as he flicked ash into a mug, giving your jab a moment to wash over him before responding. “I suppose I deserve that, but I want to make amends. Can we start fresh?” Tommy asked, blue eyes searching yours intently.

“Yes, I think so,” you agreed reluctantly, unsure how this turn of events had happened.

“Good,” he said with a nod. “Because I’d like to invite you to have a seat at the next family meeting.”

Your head was still swimming with Tommy’s apology so you weren’t quite sure you heard correctly. “What? When?” you sputtered.

“Today, we have to go on the offensive now that the Lees have struck a blow and you’re our best hope of understanding their way of thinking,” Tommy explained.

You touched the bruise on the right side of your face that was turning to a dark shade of purple, thinking of how your sister was one of them by now. What would your scheming do to her, you wondered?

While you were lost in thought, Tommy leaned forward to examine your swollen wrist and you cried out at his touch. He lifted your hand and moved it carefully to see if there were any broken bones, a skill he’d learned during the war while attending to his men. Nodding thoughtfully he replied, “You’ve got a sprain. You should let me wrap it.”

“Alright,” you agreed, watching as Tommy fetched a bandage and efficiently went about his work, a fresh cigarette hanging from his lower lip. His touch was surprisingly gentle and your mind wandered to the times you’d watched him with the horses. You recalled how they’d responded to him without the use of a whip, only the sound of his voice over the noise of the scrap metal yard. You couldn’t deny that there was something about his presence in this moment that you found calming.

The roughness of his voice cut the silence as he spoke for the first time since he began tending to you. “I’ll be off to John’s now,” he said with a nod as he stamped out his smoke and before you could ask anything more he was gone, leaving you in quiet contemplation of your new role within the family and everything you thought you knew about Tommy.

————————————-

“Open up!” A voice bellowed out before John’s front door swung open, footsteps falling hard and fast on the stairs leading to the bedroom.

John sat up quickly, pulling the duvet over his naked body before reaching for his revolver on the nightstand. Tommy burst in with John cursing, “Fuck, Tommy! When will you learn to knock?”

“When will you learn to lock your bloody door? The Lees could still be in town for all we know,” Tommy scolded.

As the brothers argued, the woman beside John began to stir at the sound of their shouting. As she rolled over to face John, Tommy’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he caught sight of the woman’s familiar dark curls. John covered her quickly though he knew Tommy had already spied his secretary.

John tossed his gun onto the bedside table as he waved his brother off. “Alright, that’s enough! Get out!”

“Fine, but get dressed quickly. There’s business to discuss,” Tommy said, turning to leave. Then hesitating for a moment he called over his shoulder, “Lizzie, I want you at work by nine!”

She inhaled a sharp breath beneath the covers, embarrassed at being caught in bed with the boss’s younger brother. She’d gone to the Garrison to celebrate the new baby with everyone else from the office, but it was Tommy she’d been after. John just happened to be the brother who stumbled into the snug first.

After donning her dress and shoes, Lizzie leaned over with a warm smile and gave John a tender goodbye kiss. His head pounding from the hangover, he gave her only a sliver of affection in return, the reality of what he’d done hitting him full force. When he closed his eyes the only person he could see was you.

“I’ll be going, but I’d like to do this again. You never call me anymore,” she said biting her lip. Pulling back to study him she noticed John’s baby blue eyes didn’t dance with light as they had the night before.

“Listen, Lizzie…” he began, but Tommy interrupted, calling to him from downstairs. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” he said and she nodded cheerfully before pulling on her heels and clicking down the hall.

By the time John joined Tommy in the kitchen, Tommy was pacing like a wild animal. “Where the fuck were you yesterday, eh?” he asked, pointing a finger at his brother.

John rubbed a hand over his face and shook his head slightly. He couldn’t think clearly. What had happened? Before he had time to reply, Tommy was stalking toward him angrily. “The betting shop was robbed by the Lees. Y/n and Ada could have been killed because you left your post, John!”

“Oh, fuck off, Tommy!” John replied. “This is not my fault! How was I meant to do collections for Arthur and run the shop? Scudboat was there anyhow,” he asserted, pulling his suspenders up with an annoyed roll of his neck.

“Except he wasn’t. He went to Charlie’s yard for the arrival of the new shipment which is why you were supposed to have been back by four!” Tommy said, slamming the kitchen table with his palm for emphasis. Running a hand through his hair he shook his head muttering, “You never fucking listen.”

John closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, another vision of you suddenly dancing across his eyelids. He’d noticed a deep red mark on your cheek and how you winced when Ada put too much pressure on your hand, but you’d both been so consumed with Ada’s labor. You’d been steadfast delivering the baby, but that was how you were when you were scared, carrying on despite the fear. John’s head shot up as he asked, “Y/n? How is she?”

Tommy let out a heavy sigh as he realized he was finally getting through to his brother, plopping down in a chair he replied, “She has some bruises and a sprained wrist. She was lucky this time, brother, but the danger will increase. The Lees know she gave us information about their operation. They took their money, but now they want blood,” Tommy said ominously.

John nodded in understanding. He wouldn’t let his concentration lapse again. You were too important and he was determined to do everything in his power to protect you this time. He only needed to bring you home.

———————————————-

The family assembled in the betting shop without noticing you hovering in the corner, feeling woefully out of place. Polly and Arthur were already seated, talking quietly as Polly smoked her clove cigarettes. Lizzie sat with pencil and paper in hand to take notes if necessary, but she didn’t appear nearly as concerned as the others. In fact, she was positively radiant, as though she couldn't stop smiling. You wondered what she had to be so cheerful about, when Isaiah appeared in the doorway, remarking to her, “Looks as though someone had a good night.”

“You know, John,” Lizzie replied with a giggle. Your heart stopped as you watched her bite her lip seductively, wondering what she meant by that.

Moving to the kitchen to help yourself to a cup of tea, Isaiah sauntered in behind you, clearing his throat to announce his presence. “Why didn’t you come to the Garrison last night?” he asked, leaning against the cupboards with a casual charm he directed at most ladies.

“I was tired. Delivering a baby will do that,” you replied with a smile.

“Of course. John said you were brilliant,” Isaiah complimented you as he removed his cap and smoothed his hair.

“Isaiah, was Lizzie with you and John last night?” you asked, curiosity getting the better of you.

A wide grin spread across Isaiah’s face as he accepted the mug of tea you offered exclaiming, “Yeah, for a bit. Then they told me to piss off. I mean, you know how they are.”

“N-no, I don’t,” you stuttered, hands beginning to tremble around your cup.

“Those two can’t keep their hands off each other! It’s been that way since the war ended. John used to blind her other customers just so he could see her more often,” he said with a laugh. When Isaiah observed your blank expression he continued saying, “You know what Lizzie used to do, don’t you?”

Shaking your head, you felt your stomach drop and your mouth go dry as he explained their arrangement. Apparently John had been paying her for sex for years. The words stabbed into you as you held yourself up against the cupboards, willing your face not to betray your tender heart in front of a blinder.

But the terrible feeling of betrayal was overwhelming as you remembered Katie’s words about her father and his whores. You thought John had feelings for you, but clearly you’d been wrong. The pit in your stomach grew as you relived the kiss you shared the night before outside Polly’s house. He must have sensed your hesitation and gone back to someone more experienced and familiar. You felt another twist of the knife as you wondered if he ever wanted you. His brother had forced him to take you in after all and suddenly you felt terribly foolish. Worried your legs might give out at any moment, you excused yourself to take a seat at the table.

The pain only worsened as Lizzie turned to address you with an air of worldly sophistication. “Y/n, it was kind of you to leave John and me last night. One day you’ll see how important it is that a man and a woman have their privacy. I know John appreciates it,” she said with a wink and a knowing smile. As heat seeped into your cheeks with the overwhelming feeling of humiliation, it was almost more than you could bare. Did everyone know John saw you as a child who wasn’t worthy of his attention?

Soon Tommy and John arrived, taking their seats at the table and you found yourself shifting uncomfortably in your seat as you tried to avoid John’s gaze.

As Tommy called the meeting to order you noticed all eyes on you, making you painfully aware that as a non blood relative nor a blinder, you shouldn’t be there. Tommy quickly put everyone’s fears to rest, making it known that he had asked you to be his adviser and no one dared go against Tommy.

The meeting progressed quickly after that with John proposing an all out war against the Lees. He wanted to see them all cut to ribbons and you could tell by the dangerous gleam in his eye he was more than capable. Lizzie gave him a nod of approval from across the table and your blood boiled at the thought of them discussing strategy together, plotting and scheming as they lay tangled between the sheets. You were past the point of tears by now, coiling your hands into fists below the table.

While no one else came forward with a different thought right away, Arthur quickly agreed to John’s plan. Not one for ideas himself, he went along with the quickest method of handling enemies.

However, Polly was next to speak and interjected reason before the men could become too blood hungry. “This all began because of greed, Thomas. If we propose to share our contacts with Erasmus and thus the earnings, it might convince them to stop trying to kill us.” You could see Polly favored peace above all else, but you knew Tommy would never settle for half his take.

Then the idea came to you, born of resentment and retaliation, but an age old solution that would work nonetheless. You knew how to achieve peace if only you could convince your aunt and Tommy.

“There’s another way, but it requires discussion with an elder, my aunt, Zilpha,” you proposed, glancing up at Tommy.

“She’ll see me after everything that’s happened?” Tommy asked, a note of skepticism in his voice.

“No, but she’ll see me,” you promised him. You could see the wheels in his mind turning as he pondered what you might say to your aunt. If he truly trusted you, he would agree to let you speak on their behalf, however.

With a small nod he agreed. “Alright, I’ll take you tomorrow,” Tommy said. “You’d better get some rest.” And with that, he left everyone in stunned silence, their fate in your hands.

As everyone filed out of the room, John remained, leaning on a desk. When you attempted to walk past, he stopped you, reaching out to capture your arm. “Y/n, wait,” he called out.

Your eyebrows shot up at his request, unsure why he hadn’t dashed out after Lizzie. It seemed her company was what he craved now so why was he here waiting for you? “What is it, John?” you asked, voice tinged with irritation.

“I wanted to see how you are,” he said, looking you over with what appeared to be genuine concern. His opposite hand traced the bandage that covered your wrist, eyes trained on your injury as though he felt the pain concealed beneath it.

“I’m fine,” you said, attempting to break away, but John held you to him.

Reaching up to caress your bruised cheek he spoke earnestly, “Look, I’m sorry about yesterday. I should have been at the shop. If I had been, none of this would have happened.”

“Well you can’t change it now,” you replied, locking eyes with him, wanting to scream at him about Lizzie, but knowing it wouldn’t help.

“Let me at least try to make it up to you,” John pleaded, rubbing his thumb over your hand. “Come home,” he suggested in a voice so soft you almost didn’t hear him.

“Why?” you asked, snatching your hand away.

The biting tone had obviously hurt John, a wounded look crossing his face immediately as he shoved his hands into his pockets and looked at the floor. “Because…because the children and I need you,” he reasoned, furrowing his brow. He’d never been good with words, but he hoped you would hear how much he cared for you with that simple phrase.

The words pricked the hairs at the back of your neck, confirming what you already suspected. There was no love there, only a life of convenience. Biting your cheek to keep from crying, you sucked in a quick breath before replying, “I’m sorry, John, but I’m needed elsewhere at the moment.” You turned on your heel and disappeared into the house.

—————————————-

You spent another night at Polly’s, too upset to return to John’s. When you closed the bedroom door before having your dinner, Tommy urged the others not to pry into the cause of your sudden mood change. He explained there was a long drive ahead of you in the morning and reasoned you must be anxious at the thought of returning to a camp full of angry relatives.

As you drove to the Lee camp in comfortable silence, you were relieved that Tommy wasn’t the curious sort. However, you knew he deserved to hear what you intended on proposing to your aunt so you began explaining your plan for ushering in peace between the two families. While you expected him to question it a bit more, he only chain smoked as he kept his eyes trained on the road. When you’d finished, you swore you heard a low hum of approval emanate from his pursed lips, though you weren’t entirely sure from his stoic expression.

There was no time for doubt in any case as the car jerked to a halt. You exited your side cautiously, eyes scanning the horizon to find men with rifles stood at attention above you. “Slowly now,” Tommy advised as he stooped to gather a stick and dug into his pocket for a white handkerchief to tie at the top. As he walked up the dirt road toward the vardos circled on the ridge, he waved the makeshift flag. You allowed him to lead until he leaned toward you to whisper, “You’re sure you still want to do this? What of your future, eh?” It was the first he had mentioned you in any of the plans and you swallowed harshly at his insinuation that your fate mattered either way.

“Let me worry about that,” you replied stubbornly, marching ahead. Tommy wanted to laugh at your determination, but thought better of it considering the circumstances. He shook his head as he followed after you, admiration for your courage swelling in his throat.

Zilpha greeted you with a wary expression upon your approach, face as dark and stormy as the clouds overhead threatening rain. Standing at the doorway of her vardo, she refused to descend until you had both been searched for weapons. Although you understood her hesitation, it stung to be treated as a traitor when you still held love for your family.

When she was satisfied you weren’t there to harm her, she allowed you to ascend the steps and you breathed a sigh of relief when she extended a wrinkled hand to you, pulling you inside.

Despite having convinced her of your own good intentions, Tommy was made to wait outside. You could tell from her knitted brow, he would never gain her full approval and you knew you would have to work hard to sell his good points.

After the preamble of commenting on your thin frame and offering up a hearty stew, Zilpha asked why you had come and you wasted no time with your appeal.

“He’s a smart man, aunt. But he needs strong men,” you explained.

“For what?” she asked harshly, turning to face you with such force, her jewelry crashed together creating a tinny clinking that echoed out like a warning.

“Protection for his growing business. They get the winner in one of every three races before the race even starts. No need for chalks or rafflers. It’s a certainty,” you promised her, believing in Tommy’s operations so that she would have faith as well.

“It sounds like this Shelby man’s got his hooks in ya,” she said, eyeing you suspiciously.

You bristled at her assumptions, holding your head high. “No Shelby has me, aunt. In fact, I have a unique proposal for you to end the war between you and them.”

“And what might that be?” she said, leaning forward elbows on her knees to hear you better.

“Rumors say Erasmus’s cousin Esme has been running wild. If I could promise a good husband for her, would you give Tommy soldiers? If you do, this alliance will make you a rich woman,” you promised.

Zilpha thought for a moment, recalling the trouble she’d had finding a suitable groom to take on the headstrong young woman.

“And what man do you suggest?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at you.

“Tommy’s younger brother, John Shelby,” you said, hoping she didn’t notice the way your voice wavered as you said his name. She hadn’t, too preoccupied by your talk of fortune. Without hesitation, she extended a hand in agreement.

As you both emerged, Tommy searched your face for a sign that the negotiations had been a success. You gave him a small nod and he turned to Zilpha. “He’ll do then?” Tommy asked.

“Bring him round in a fortnight and it will be done,” Zilpha proclaimed.

The drive back to Small Heath was cloaked in thick silence as you looked out the passenger window. Exhaustion from the long day was beginning to take hold of you, but something wouldn’t let you give in to the need for rest. Although you hoped your plan of revenge might heal your broken heart, the ache only grew stronger. You didn’t yet know it, but regret would soon take hold and there would be nothing you could do to reverse it.

——————————————

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sonkitty · 2 months

Text

The Sideburns Scheme (Good Omens 2)

(Previous version: The Sideburns Scheme v1)

This post will likely be regularly updated as I process my thoughts.

Last Updated: 03/24/2024

This is short:

This is long:

There is more to to it than above, and we are going to work through that.

Crowley's sideburns change in length in season 2. I have worked out some of how and have some theory on why.

Space

The absolute most crucial thing to understand for my theory is space. Character presence, movement, and likely memory all impact the space, but the space decides the length based on those things. The space is practically a character reading the story with us and making decisions on what length to give Crowley in response.

If you walk away from my post with only one thing and one thing only, I want it to be this:

The Bentley is Crowley's own demon space, and the driver's door to that space is its primary threshold.

Effect

When I refer to the effect, I will specifically mean the changing of the length.

But what is the effect from that?

Each type of length probably provides a benefit of some kind since Crowley takes actions to get them one way or the other. Grasping what that is, is difficult to say the least.

We'll see what each space tells us because the spaces have different readings on Crowley as it is. There are lengths between short and long after all. Short is going to be considered a human space and long enough will be considered a demon space, to simplify things as best I can. I won't say "long enough" every time, just "long" and sometimes I will refer to a "longest-length."

On its most basic level, short trends human, and long trends supernatural with that length increasing depending on the supernatural elements within the space.

Even though the length is what I focus on, the sideburns even change on how full of hair they are, and sometimes aren't even...well, even.

Earthly Objects

So far as my own theories go, Earthly Objects is a large, difficult, hidden game that has findable solvable puzzles in Good Omens 2. It is a layered type of game. The characters themselves are playing it, some with a higher awareness than others. An audience member can play it by trying to figure out how the game itself works. I've played it in my attempts at understanding the sideburns. It is amazingly and infuriatingly complex.

The Earthly Objects game is somehow related to this Sideburns Scheme, which is also a game. Both deal with thresholds so encounter each other. Certain aspects of the Earthly Objects game hint at falsehoods in at least the tutorial sequence for the sideburns.

Even so, the message about how the sideburns worked is still true. This story is tricky like that.

As such, a lot of my analysis is still going to be on what is presented nonetheless. I'll note if and when I have a guess at its deceptive nature.

...

Another important component in my theorizing is that Good Omens 2 is especially interested in these three things: doors, windows, and pockets—especially pockets. We'll be seeing these things a lot within the spaces when studying the sideburns, especially once I get to making more in-depth posts.

The Past

The Season 2 present day storyline is broadly solvable for the sideburns without examining the minisodes.

Even so, once those minisodes are examined, other aspects of the spaces come into play as what may affect the hair or sideburns. These things suggest even season 1 had factors affecting the spaces to make his sideburns look more consistently short for its present day. For instance, he never wore a hat when driving and never had plants behind him in the car when driving either in season 1. These things affect how the sideburns change in season 2. In season 2's present day, they shorten during his drives in episode 1 when the plants are shown behind him both times. That happens yet again before the closing credits start in episode 6. In 1941, the car is surrounded by fire, Aziraphale is with him, not wearing a hat, and Crowley's wearing a hat. The sideburns lengthened instead of shortened for that drive.

Nonetheless, the content below is primarily based on the season 2 present day storyline. You can find more about the minisodes in the links at the bottom.

...

Home Base Concept - The Bookshop

Aziraphale's bookshop is where a lot of the present day season 2 story takes place, and it is nearly a second home to Crowley. Aziraphale himself is an angel, or a former angel.

The bookshop's default reading on Crowley being with just Aziraphale��if later scenes in the story are any indication—is somewhere between short and long, a medium length that gets closer to proper human-space short when in a private room together.

That's a reading that recognizes Crowley as a supernatural entity but still giving something shorter than longer reading around other angels. Most likely, that's because Crowley and Aziraphale are supernatural friends whose relationship is very similar to human partners.

When other angels are around, the bookshop's reading on Crowley increases the length. It's most noticeable from Gabriel, but that's likely because Gabriel is the angel who is around for most of the story.

Muriel shows up later, and Muriel is an angel, yet the sideburns are short. What gives?

The bookshop takes Muriel literally when Muriel claims to be human. It probably helps that Aziraphale literally accepts this claim even if he is fully aware that Muriel is an angel. As such, the reading on Crowley is that being a demon who tends to be around humans and pretend to be human often enough, the sideburns should still be the proper length for this "human" encounter.

Later in the story, Muriel admits to not being human. Crowley acknowledges a full awareness that they are an angel. The next time they are in the bookshop together, both with other angels and alone, the bookshop then gives the longest type of sideburns to Crowley.

After that, the bookshop's not really going to tell us about other specific angels, such as Michael.

The main thing we're told is that other angels who are not Aziraphale are going to make that length longer, with at least Gabriel and Muriel being among those angels. And that lying by claiming to be "human" will make them shorter nonetheless.

So, what does longer mean among the other angels? My general guess based on character behavior and story events when it's on, is that it's also a mark of rank from Crowley's time as an angel before his fall. The reading comes from a latent memory within the angels themselves. The story has repeated implications he was a high rank, seeming to be most specific at "First-Order Archangel" among those implications.

Crowley seems to be in charge among angels. He becomes a decision-maker and ends up directing the action.

When he is with only himself and Gabriel, he is in charge.

When he is with only himself and Muriel, he is in charge.

When he is with only himself, Aziraphale, and Gabriel, Aziraphale might make suggestions but otherwise follows along with Crowley's direction of what to do.

When Crowley is in the bookshop scene with both the powers of Heaven and Hell, he is in charge right up until he says to Aziraphale, "You got this?" Before that, he is quick to deflect a war, and they basically just let him with him yelling, getting the cardboard box, and recovering Gabriel's memories.

There is a moment where it looks like Michael is taking charge by commanding mortals be turned into salt, but Crowley quickly steps in to volunteer to take care of it. Saraqael, who looked ready to do what Michael ordered, abides and lets Crowley escort the mortals out.

Do longest length sideburns do more than mark rank? I suspect they are related to memory, and they are always present during three access points of memory with Gabriel, who has amnesia. Each one is brief, and it's hard to say how much the information given is actually used. One access point is a mix of Gabriel's and God's voice, another is a mix of Gabriel's and someone else's voice who sounds like a woman, and a third access point is that Gabriel took his memory out of a matchbox, no, wait, he took it out first. In the first two access points, Gabriel's eyes turn purple, which seem to be a mark of rank on him as the Supreme Archangel.

Home Base Concept - The Bentley

Did you ever notice how abruptly the encounters with Shax and Beelzebub ended when Crowley was in or near his car? That was weird, right? Here is what I believe happened.

The Bentley has special rules as a space, and each of those encounters ended with Crowley kicking out the other demon, possibly on accident in two of those instances.

The threshold to the Bentley is mainly the driver's door, but the driver's seat acted as one when Crowley was summoned to Hell.

Of note, the sideburns are long in these instances though not at their longest length that happens in the bookshop. Based on Crowley himself, Shax, and Beelzebub, that altogether suggests a default demon reading from the car. It can change, but it has to be managed through Crowley in the season's ending.

Back to the topic of the encounters, let's move on.

Shax at the Door

Crowley placed himself on the threshold and possibly made Shax wait a full hour before answering his phone. When answering, some of his body is touching the roof of the car, which makes it so that he's not touching that door panel exclusively. Then he turns around when he would presumably not be touching his car but at least fully intending to touch it, which seems to suffice for the story. Shortly after, he is leaning against the roof again.

By taking this action, he is allowing Shax closer to the space around the car, so that she can talk to him.

For the shots we are allowed to see him from the front, he is touching the roof, door panel, and sometimes we see the window pane is included the lean as well.

Before he asks, "Is that all?", he stops touching those parts of the car entirely and cannot be seen touching any other part.

Shax disappears from the scene.

By removing the touch from the car, the home base kicked her out. The forced exit seems unintentional.

Summoned by Beelzebub to Hell

Beelzebub uses a fly already inside the car. Crowley did not invite Beelzebub in, but the fly is enough to get their metaphorical foot in the door.

After Beelzebub says, "Hello, Traitor," Crowley makes a hit against his driver's seat, then says, "Oh."

Beelzebub then does not fully manifest in corporal form into the car and summons Crowley into Hell.

Crowley very deliberately leans back and while we can't see his back constantly against the throne during the entire scene, it is implied, bare minimum, he is not leaning forward while on that throne for most of it. He's gathering intel despite his evident reluctance to be in Hell during the scene.

The throne he sits in represents his driver's seat. Even when Crowley seems to want to lean forward, he'll try to not lean too much or he will lean to the side. Until the end of the conversation, he only leans forward off the back of the seat when he asks something ("Is that a new face?" "How?"). As in, he is inviting that part of the conversation into his space. He'll lean most toward Beelzebub's throne, even making sure to place his hand on the seat. The seat is to Crowley's own left, which is akin to the passenger seat in his car.

Crowley never stands up from the throne and only leans too far forward possibly at the end and possibly on accident. Beelzebub's "So if you hear anything, you come to me first, yeah?" is good enough to end the conversation, and that was a conversation where they were not invited. Crowley himself has no further questions and no further interest in actually being in Hell. The intel gathering is done. As such, the space reads that business is done and sends him back to the car instantly, whether Crowley intended for that exact thing to happen or not.

Shax in the Car

Crowley allowed Shax in by not verbally denying her entry and looking at where she would manifest. He kicked her out by non-verbally revving up his car even more after doing it once and giving her a second look. The home base understood it was about to de-activate and kicked her out.

Activation Points for longer sideburns:

The proper border for short and long is hard to explain, but when I say "longer" below, I am looking for length beyond what you see before Crowley enters the coffee shop and walks across the street with Aziraphale when they leave. Both scenes show us multiple angles of his face for comparison to the rest of the season.

Activation Points for longer sideburns:

-The bookshop under the right conditions

-The Bentley under the right conditions

-The pub (dependent on its threshold)

-The music shop (dependent on its threshold)

-Hell (likely qualifying through the Bentley)

-Heaven (assumed, likely qualifying through the pub)

-The park (only slightly longer because of a newspaper door, find out more here)

...

What are the right conditions for the bookshop to make Crowley's sideburns longer?

Within the season 2 present day storyline, longer seems to be a default reading actually. It's more like certain exceptions must not be met.

-No individual angel claiming to be human

AND

-Not in the private room with Aziraphale after encountering Gabriel

AND

-Not alone before an angel activates the effect.

...

The sideburns will be at their longest-length in any significant angel encounter that has an angel who is not Aziraphale and not pretending to be human. Those scenes are:

Scenes with only Crowley and Gabriel

Scenes with only Crowley, Gabriel, and Aziraphale

The overall general scene with angels, demons, and two humans, where Crowley is actively trying to undo a declaration of war.

The scene with Muriel after everyone else has left.

There's a small chance they lengthened slightly after first encountering Muriel, then going to talk to Aziraphale in the private room, but I can't really tell.

The sideburns are long during the ball, some parts being very hard to tell if they have reached their longest-length when there is a stronger focus on Gabriel's presence at the ball.

...

What are the right conditions for the Bentley to make Crowley's sideburns longer?

These conclusions are based on clues from the story itself:

-Staying parked for a long enough time with Crowley inside

-Approaching the car itself being isolated in a familiar area at night

-Standing at the threshold with utmost precision in the season's ending

The sideburns are at their longest-length in the season's ending up to the final cut right before the credits start.

I currently think it is because of a combination of stillness, his left arm's exclusive touch on the threshold, his right hand pocket touch, and having his legs crossed. Every cut of him from the front ensures a symbol of fire from the coffee shop to his right, and a hat-wearing human somewhere visually to his left, even if it's all the way across the street in the first of the three cuts.

Activation Points for shorter sideburns:

-Driving the Bentley for a long enough time after de-activating it as a home base. His plants are ensured to be behind him as well.

-Exiting far enough away from the bookshop, assuming the bookshop already activated longer sideburns. This distance expands during the story, explained further below.

-Being present in human spaces. Thresholds can both force and counter this effect, dependent on their design. In the past, hats can also help force or counter the effect. There are things about fire and roofs I'm still working through as well.

-Entering a private room with Aziraphale within the bookshop shortened them from the bookshop's main first floor after encountering Gabriel.

-Standing with his left hand in his pants pocket as Maggie and Nina are leaving while Aziraphale enters the bookshop in episode 6. He is shown blurred from some distance, so it's easy to miss him. He's to the camera's right behind Nina. Both humans are no longer looking at him. It's a cut that ensures Crowley is briefly visible before the next Muriel scene.

...

Connecting the Two Home Bases

During the specific season 2 story, Crowley regularly parks his car across the street from the bookshop. He himself parks it by the coffee shop in episode 1 twice and in episode 5 once. During episodes 5 and 6, the car remains parked by the coffee shop. Aziraphale also chooses to park the car by the coffee shop near the episode 4. Otherwise, Crowley parks it across the street from the pub in episode 2 and right by the pub in episode 3.

In episode 1, once Crowley reaches the middle of the street and starts to count to ten, the sideburns are a shorter length that better matches before he entered the bookshop.

In episode 2, we see Crowley with longer sideburns right before he crosses the threshold whereas episode 1 showed them still short. At some point he leaves and is seen with short sideburns again, across the street.

In episode 3, Crowley exits the bookshop to interact with Shax. He never crosses the street and remains mostly along the sidewalk. Still, it might be considered further in distance and is longer for the sideburns than seen in episodes 1 and 2.

In episode 4, when Crowley exits the bookshop, his sideburns are again longer than the usual shortness around humans up to that point of the story. Episode 1 is structured to tell us that the sideburns get shorter from the bookshop threshold to the center of the street. Episode 4 shows us the sideburns did not get shorter from the bookshop threshold to the center of the street. They stayed longer.

Why?

Crowley and Aziraphale connected their home bases for when the Bentley is parked across the street, intentionally or not. I think it is intentional, but I have a very loose grasp on a possible reason.

...

So, how did they connect their home bases?

Aziraphale borrowed Crowley's car. Crowley borrowed Aziraphale's bookshop.

Put another way, Aziraphale inhabited Crowley's home base without Crowley for a certain amount of time and over some distance between the two of them. Crowley inhabited Aziraphale's home base without Aziraphale for a certain amount of time over some distance between the two of them. Both time and distance contribute to changing the length from each of these homes.

Crowley and Aziraphale remotely contact each other once during this borrowing phase. Assuming this effect is memory-related, those spaces now share those memories.

When Crowley and Aziraphale take Crowley's plants, living things that inhabited one home base, then another, during this process, they are finalizing this connection.

The plants will now have memories of being in each space, and each space will now have memories of the plants inhabiting them.

I suspect these plants are a key part of the connection that is better covered in my Earthly Objects theorizing, specifically here:

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection Part 4 - The Door Trick and The Door Catch

Yes, despite Crowley's seeming reluctance and discomfort with loaning his car, I think forming this connection was intentional from both of them. I'll get into a specific part of how I interpret him agreeing to loan the car when time allows for covering the story scene-by-scene.

All the same, back to my main stuff. My theory is the home base border along the center of the street has disappeared. It is actually more like a radius around the bookshop expanded, but that's the main place the border was understood to exist.

Onto my loose grasp of a possible reason.

This connection—this disappearance of that border—does not protect the rest of the street from the incoming demon invasion when it starts. The demons enter the area without invitation.

After Crowley enters the bookshop for the ball, as best I can tell, no humans are on the street. There is a bunch of fog, and it's dark, and there are demons. Eventually, there will be an angel there, but there are no humans.

Crowley escorts some humans to safety to exit the bookshop. However, when he dismisses them, we don't really see where they go. The story cuts away, and when we are back to Crowley's location, they are gone.

There are other times we've seen Crowley in or near his car with longer sideburns and no humans.

The basic idea is that the space surrounding Crowley's car, that we've been seeing, has split itself into two different spaces at once. One is the Earth where humans do what they do, as usual, but are now not disturbing Crowley while he is in his car. The other is the Earth where Crowley does what he does, not disturbing humans. The spaces then re-merge when the driving time deems it to happen. The "no humans" space is a supernatural-exclusive zone when it comes to angels, demons, and humans.

For whatever it's worth, the only living natural beings I can find in the area are plants, inside and out of the car, and that one fly before Beelzebub shows up inside the car (assuming that fly is indeed natural).

Instead of a person, such as Crowley, being two places at once, one place becomes two places at once. The car being Hell, and the pub being Heaven further support this idea. Each of those spaces are accessed by Crowley when Crowley has the longer sideburns and in that zone to begin with.

The mechanics are confusing with the flies. I don't fully get it, but it probably relates to the car having thresholds in a wider supernatural space.

In the case of the ball, the split didn't just happen by accident or through time alone. Crowley's car is near the bookshop, but he wasn't in it. It wasn't in its usual isolated area. The window is open before the invitations start but closed when he talks to Nina, so we're never shown when it's being switched from open or closed.

There is a very specific point where things start to change, but before that, there are also some specific things that happen. Namely, during each ball invitation shown on camera, Crowley accompanies Aziraphale. He does not say anything during the actual inviting and makes various touches during each scene. These touches generally include earthly objects, self-clothing touches, self-skin-contact touches, and...pockets. Pockets are a big, little thing in GO2 that are beyond my ability to understand or explain.

I'm sorry. It sucks. It really, really sucks that I cannot do better. I've picked up enough to know they're important so am telling you at least that much. Touches and pockets or not, there are still ball invitations, and things still change. Crowley gets his own special invitation that's to the bookshop instead of the meeting.

Once he accepts this invitation, he goes to the bookshop and approaches Gabriel in basically Demon Mode. I'll get into it more whenever I reach the scene itself. You can read what I initially wrote in my past post on the Sideburns: The Sideburns Scheme

Nonetheless, I think Crowley was drawing out his own demonic energy to start the split, a shift from one zone to the other.

The shift is not instant. It's happening while Crowley is out in the street to make sure Maggie and Nina are on their way. The street is growing increasingly foggy as it is getting darker. Fewer and fewer humans are around as time passes.

It doesn't really seem to be completed until Maggie is walking toward the bookshop with Nina not long before her as next-to-last. Maggie herself is a human, but she seems to be a special type of human not explained in the story as to how or why she is different. Nina could be too, even if it's not as obvious. She is next-to-last.

If one excludes Maggie because she is human in some capacity, then it's probably done when Crowley himself enters the bookshop as a means to complete the matter, further confirmed with Shax arriving through the supernatural elevator in the pub instead of wherever the rest of the demons came from. The story referred to such a place as "stairs" when Shax was planning the invasion. An elevator is decidedly not stairs. It definitely raises questions about Shax with that kind of timing and wording.

Another thing about this special zone is that the Bentley is the only car around once the shift is done.

Speaking of the car, Crowley won't just drive away to re-merge these spaces. Not only that, he's not going back into that bookshop despite the indications in the dialogue he would.

Nope.

Instead, he goes to Heaven and spends time there until the war declaration goes off. Upon returning the following day, the merge has happened, either through the time itself or just the reset of the day. Sure, it could be the halo blowing up, but the people aren't shown as being in the street until Crowley himself is visibly there. It could be a combination of these factors too.

So, if Crowley and Aziraphale wanted to protect the street overall from the incoming invasion but somehow still needed this ball to happen with some humans, that's what they did to protect everyone as best they could.

It might even be a trial run for needing to protect Earth on a much bigger scale later.

Now, admittedly, Crowley did seem alarmed by the demons arriving, but both he and Aziraphale have been acting in certain ways to throw off whoever or whatever is reading them throughout this story. There is something about layering and switches they seem to have in the games they play that I don't fully understand.

By making the border expand, that meant that, for the most part, once Crowley entered the bookshop on the implied Thursday, his sideburns could not become their usual shortness around humans until that one fleeting moment mentioned earlier when Maggie and Nina were leaving. Even then, the sideburns quickly lengthened by the next scene. After that, they did not reach their usual shortness around humans until after he had driven for enough time and far enough away from the bookshop. He did not take that action and receive that shortness until right before the ending credits.

I suspect the sideburns do more than all of that since they seem connected to memory in some way.

...

The Bigger Thresholds Trick

This part of The Sideburns Scheme is a significant crossover with The Earthly Objects Game as one of the Threshold Tricks Crowley does during Good Omens 2.

There are three special locations that have thresholds bigger than Crowley, but we'll talk about a certain two first.

Those locations are the pub and the music shop. They are human-specific spaces that make it quite difficult to develop theories like the one about the connection and the other about the existence of a supernatural zone. In these two places, Crowley's sideburns are longer.

During the story, both locations have one thing in common that seems to have nothing to do with Crowley. Both locations have an encounter with a human who remembers a meeting from some years ago and say as much to Aziraphale. Each encounter mentions lights of a similar nature.

And then...there's Heaven. This time, there's no obvious way for a sideburn check. Instead, one is left to guess it's still relevant given the past two locations and noticing the threshold is bigger than Crowley.

I'll be covering these places more in-depth over time, hopefully, but you can again look to my previous post about the sideburns for reference: The Sideburns Scheme

The past post lacks many things about Heaven in particular, but the main one I want to note is Muriel's relevance. As far as my own theorizing is concerned now compared to then, Muriel is someone Crowley trusts deeply. You can find out more on that theory in these two links: Bookend Buddies - Crowley and Muriel (Part 2)

Before I move on from The Bigger Thresholds Trick, here is my understanding of how this part of Earthly Objects works. The sideburns being longer in the pub and music shop is a clue about this particular Threshold Trick.

A threshold being bigger than Crowley is not enough on its own to credit Crowley as having tricked that type of threshold.

Each one has a simple explanation but is done in a more complex way for an audience member playing to try and figure out in a puzzle.

My own conclusions are as follows:

In the pub, he "switched lanes".

In the music shop, he "never let go of the door".

I don't know the true simple explanation for Heaven though as more time passes, I lean most toward "pretended to be arrested". That's because it's emphasized as how he gets in with Muriel. His own dialogue brings it up once he's actually inside the threshold. It has a little rhythm to it. The problem with that solution is that the ideal one would include a noun, such as "buttons" or "cells" or "doorknobs," to represent the Triple. Another good solution would be something like "engaged in misdirection", especially given the context of the entrance scene itself. The "LETTERS" on the right-side door is a potential clue as is the doors closing in so specifically on Crowley's watch. So, I'm not fully convinced "pretended to be arrested" is the answer. It's still the one I lean the most toward as of the latest update.

...

The Season 2 Ending (The Door Trick)

Just like with the bigger thresholds, this part of the Sideburns Scheme actually crosses over with the Earthly Objects game (Threshold Tricks)

I am cutting a lot of content on it in this newer post though, again, you can look to the older one for reference to find more: The Sideburns Scheme

Near the end of episode 6 during season 2, Crowley is seen standing at the door to his car with longest-length sideburns.

For anyone trying to figure out how the sideburns work, that's noteworthy.

Despite how much we've seen Crowley, the car, and humans throughout the story, we've never seen them all combined into this particular context.

Other angels and demons are gone. Muriel is supposedly around but not on screen. Aziraphale and the Metatron have some distance between themselves and Crowley. Meanwhile, Crowley himself is surrounded by humans.

So, a question arises. Why are they this long in this setting?

Well, I already mentioned my answer before, but I'll repeat it and some more too. He's doing some specific things despite how simple it looks.

This character is precise in his choices, whatever this scheme really is.

He is standing incredibly still. He has his legs crossed. The scene is structured to alert us that even though we can't see his feet, they are not touching the edge of the sidewalk—a threshold. He has his right hand fingers in his pocket and his thumb outside the pocket. The camera work ensures we know that he is not touching the window frame despite the incoming angle where we, otherwise, could not know. His left arm is touching the door panel. The door panel is the threshold. It is not an earthly object. He is touching his own space in his own way while watching Aziraphale's departure.

There is a lot to be said for that pocket touch, which I hope to do eventually in other posts.

My own personal interpretation—not just from the games—but as someone having played them and who has her own thoughts on the story goes as follows:

Crowley is giving everything he has in himself to see Aziraphale off without truly giving his full self up in the process. Aziraphale is going to a place Crowley will not follow. Even so, the demon of the pair has put pieces in place to help Aziraphale from the distance they will have between each other in the foreseeable future. They both contributed to creating and maintaining a connection with each other during Good Omens 2. They also had to work together separately. They both love Earth, and they are going to work to protect Earth in Good Omens 3.

In my view, there's a hidden "Separately Together" theme in Good Omens 2 that one cannot find—or will very much struggle to find—unless you figure out at least some of the pocket puzzles.

Linked to The Door Trick is something truly magical called The Door Catch.

I found it on accident through never fully solving The Pocket Trick.

These are generally the posts I have on The Door Trick itself for now:

The Sideburns Scheme (skip ahead to The Season 2 Ending (The Door Trick)

The Door Trick Visual Representation (GIFs)

The Pocket Chain Rainbow Connection Part 4 - The Door Trick and The Door Catch

...

That's all I'll say for now since I have a lot of posts I want to make to cover parts of Good Omens 2 more in-depth.

Newer posts:

Episode 1: The Arrival (Links List)

Episode 2: The Clue

Post #17 (permit)

Post #18 (meeting with Shax in the car)

Post #19 (the pub)

...

Older posts:

Here are the ones from the last post, cutting out some that have already been replaced. Their older versions can still be found in the previous Sideburns Scheme link or even at the bottom of the newer posts.

...

More here if you really want to go deep into my findings, still being edited as I learn things:

Episode 2: The Clue

Post #17 (meeting with Shax in the car)

Post #18 (the pub)

Post #19 (crossing the street from the pub to the bookshop)

...

This project is inspired by these posts:

Crowley’s Sideburns & what do they mean?

Ok, I love this theory that it could be some sort ...

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