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rahullkohli · 2 years

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i wanna talk about the dynamic between ed and lucius, because i feel like people tend to either completely brush it off as non-existent, or as lucius only having ed’s attention because lucius is close to stede, and i think that is a huge disservice, as i see the relationship between the two characters as incredibly nuanced. and this is gonna be really freaking long i’m so sorry.

it’s widely accepted that stede is the only person to ever be truly upfront with ed, but while i agree to some extent that stede is true to himself around ed, i think that lucius to a much greater degree is the absolutely only person who fully does not think thée great blackbeard is The Shit. before ed shows up on the revenge lucius does seem to think the mystery about this legend character is enticing, but the second he actually meets ed all of that washes away. he is the one person who continuously stands up to ed, and tells him to treat stede right. lucius sees very quickly (what stede himself doesn’t even see) that the chemistry between ed and stede is growing more romantic, and it is lucius’ instinct to be protective of this captain he didn’t even like about a week or two prior to ed showing up. lucius even showed up on the island with the biggest bitch attitude to hand deliver a breakup box when ed left with calico jack.

and what i see is that ed respects that about lucius. stede actually did try to embellish his own persona in front of ed; trying to seem tougher than he is, trying to impress ed again and again - he might not have changed himself, but he did bend over backwards to make a good impression. but ed saw that lucius didn’t. there was never any doubt where lucius’ loyalty was, and it was with his own captain. and we see ed look to lucius when he is unsure about stede, because he knows the way to a dude’s heart is through his reluctant gay bestie.

then when ed returned from running away from the british navy, lucius is the only person ed opens up to. aside from stede, lucius is the only person ed is truly vulnerable with, and confides to directly. he invites lucius into his blanket fort, he tells lucius about this raw pain that he is feeling, even if he does try to thinly veil it as about someone else.

and this part is the most important to me; i think ed sees in lucius what he wishes he could be himself. lucius is openly gay, and very vocal about his gayness. he doesn’t take on the big responsible roles, because he truly does not want them. he is soft, and kind, and so gentle with people who are in a bad way. he doesn’t put a big thing into making people like him, and he is honest with people around him, and still finding the balance in how to be that in the way the situation requires. he can be mean and vicious, but only when people deserve it. in many ways, he is just like stede. he is also fiercely protective of the people he cares about, and he is definitely down to clown.

which brings me to the last episode. ed goes through this massive transformation of being broken and vulnerable, to having izzy’s words snap him back to his old alter ego of blackbeard. i’ve seen a lot of different reasons for how people sees the scene of ed pushing lucius overboard; that he just snapped, that it was to solidify his newfound edginess, that he always thought lucius was annoying, etc. but i truly, deeply in my soul see lucius as being someone ed has grown to care about, and he couldn’t have that around anymore. ed got rid of stede’s possessions, his crew - it was basically that taylor swift video where she burns all of her ex’s things in a fit of rage. so why didn’t ed just drop lucius off at the island along with the others? because lucius is a physical manifestation of the memory of stede, but also of that inner core of ed that he had buried so deep inside but slowly started letting out from knowing stede. when ed looks at lucius he sees both stede, the man he loves but he believes doesn’t love him back, but also the person he wishes he could be himself. kind, gentle, embracing his feminine side, not caring about who knows he’s gay, and someone who is loyal and protective of the people he loves. by pushing lucius overboard, ed is not only pushing away stede’s memory, he is also trying to kill the part of himself that he had only just started to embrace.

i wanna keep ranting about my love for the relationship between these two, but this is already so long. now i just really fucking hope s2 will fix this, because i need ed and lucius to be best friends and confidants.

#edward teach #lucius spriggs #ofmd talk #ofmd #our flag means death #i don't even know how to tag this #i'll probably post this and in five minutes wish i had written something differently #tv #tv:our flag means death #queer tv

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damnslippyplanet · 2 months

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@leupagus requested, and her wish is my command. At least on a Monday morning when I'd rather be thinking about fic than my weekend email backlog. So:

List five of your least-popular fics, as well as when/why you wrote them.

the green place, Word of Honor modern AU, YeXie, 2021

This was a little string of YeXie Week ficlets based on word prompts. Friend Ritualist* and I had been batting around some ideas for a Plant Witch Xie'er fic in the DMs and I thought I'd use YeXie week to play around with the character voices/world a little and see how I liked writing those two. I had a lovely time writing it, but semi-connected short ficlets where the rimming is (just barely) off-screen are a hard sell. Also I left it marked incomplete for a long time thinking I might go back and finish out the week's prompts, so I'm sure it got passed over by the very wise people who don't read WIPs. No regrets, I like knowing Plant Witch Xier'er is out there even if he'll probably never really get written.

*babe, I'm blanking out and can only think of your pro author tumblr name and not your fandom one, if you're seeing this and wanna be linked, drop your fandom url in the comments and I'll link you up

The Desert Dreams of a River, Darkangel Trilogy, Aeriel/Irrylath, Erin/OFC, 2019.

Yuletide fic! With the hit count you expect for a Yuletide genfic based on one of your formative pieces of circa-1982 fiction about a girl trying to reform a vampire while they live on the terraformed moon. Written in a frantic haze just short of deadline, if I recall, as I'd started a different angle on it that didn't quite work. I'm not saying this story was just an excuse to get Erin a wife, but it was sort of that, since the prompt didn't really allow for Erin to wife Aeriel. (But she SHOULD HAVE. Let Aeriel Have A Husband And A Wife.) I loved these books so much. Unfortunately something must be really fucked with the licensing because only the third of the trilogy was available as an ebook at the time and that doesn't seem to have changed? Pick up a hard copy of the first book if you ever see one, though.

every word is nonsense, Only Friends, Ray&Sand, 2023

Another little tidbit of a fic as an exercise in character voice again and also how much I liked how much the show likes their smoking scenes. Look. I'm a person of a certain age who smoked like a chimney as a teenager and into my early twenties, and I can't help the programming that got into my bones about the inherent eroticism of sharing a cigarette. (lolsob, high five to my fellow Thai BL nerds, how are we all doing this week with the one-two- punch of the DFF shotgunning scene and the new 4 minutes teaser? it's fine, i'm fine.) I wrote this thinking that next I would write some RaySand smut and then didn't because the whirl of Thai BL fandom pulled me on to something else, but at some point I want to rewatch this show and may still write it then because it fed my FirstKhao shipper heart so well.

dizzy in your wake, Nirvana in Fire, Changsu/Jingyan, 2020?

I'm not the one who said "what if Mei Changsu were a were-octopus," that was a series of amazing twitter threads by @astronicht. But people just KEPT sending it to me because I am known to think octopus content is very cool and also to be a Mei Changsu Girlie, and eventually a couple of friends shook me until 600 words of ridiculousness came out. What surprises me is not that this one has few kudos, but that it has >10 kudos at all. I would say this is the most niche and silly thing I've written except I've also written MDZS/Jupiter Ascending fusion fic, so let's not pretend I have any dignity left. Written in 2020 but it didn't get posted until later because I don't usually post things this short. At some point I was in one of those "it's an ARCHIVE, we should put ALL THE THINGS THERE" moods and slapped a few NiF ficlets written for the group chat up there.

A Second Dose, Hannibal, Bev/Freddie, 2016

This was the thing where you write an odd little rarepair and it's so much fun you come back and do a sequel you hadn't meant to write. I'd written Bev/Freddie before and then when a Hannibal rarepair fest came around I was like, hey, what if I did that again. Possibly I just wanted to revisit the cat named after Rosalind Franklin that I'd made up for Bev.

#slippy writes things

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creativemorningsdublin-blog · 3 years

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Meet our Musician: ROE

Meet our Musician: ROE

Our musician for the month of April is ROE. Devastatingly sincere and relatable, ROE is a songwriter that pours her heart into every word that she writes. Her work spills truths from her own life, and from speculations on the planet on which we exist. Hailing from Derry, NI, ROE left college before finishing to travel the world playing festivals and to focus on writing songs that felt real. Her 2020 EP ‘Things We Don’t Talk About’ saw ROE cross 1 million streams on Spotify and is the culmination of 4 years of relentless writing, releasing and touring as a completely independent artist.

We sat down with ROE to talk about all things creative.

What does our monthly theme of procrastination mean to you? Procrastination is, for me, taking time away from something that you love just to make it better. I'm one for procrastinating all the time and then whenever I finally sit down to do something it works out really well because I've taken that time away. People perceive it as a negative thing, but I think that having that time is important.

What do you find most challenging about the creative process?

Probably the hardest thing for me is actually taking the time to sit down and write and keep going with this thing that I love. This is my career but also, it's therapy for me; sitting down and writing and knowing that it's good for my head. So whenever I procrastinate I know that I'm procrastinating because I can feel it in my brain.

You've quite a close-knit team, I love that you guys are all friends and that's such a big part of who you are as an artist. So is the solo time where it's just you in your room, writing, is that where you find committing to doing that most difficult?

Yeah because there's nobody there to push you on to do it, you’re literally relying on yourself to do this thing and you know that it's going to take maybe an hour or whatever. And I’ve started this technique where you put a timer on your phone for 15 minutes to do something and that's been very helpful. I know that it's only a tiny section of time that I have to do the task for and then you end up doing it for far longer because you're really into it.

But whenever I have the team around me, I feel the buzz. Whenever they’re around you and everybody is kind of gearing towards the same goal really. It brings you out of your shell as well, because when you're having the craic with people and you're all thinking about the same thing and they’re all like-minded and just want to get the best out of everything that you do. Especially whenever it’s my own stuff, because everything I write is written by me and it's kind of my baby, so it's nice having people around that make you kind of think that OK, I'm an actual professional musician. And they're just there to support you the whole way and I love that.

Is there any experience in particular that you've been reminiscing about? You know those moments that you live in?

Yeah, we were on tour just before lockdown happened up here. Literally just got back home in time and we had the show down in Dublin in Whelan’s Main Room and before that, we'd sold out upstairs and that night was just insane, and it was crazy because we were literally on stage and then we had to go back home up to Derry.

It was just a complete rush the whole night and it was just the best craic and I miss the connection with people. I miss the whole buzz after the show and just talking to people after the show and just chatting to people about their own experiences.

This whole point in life just feels so surreal because everybody’s taken a pause in everything that they do, especially in the creative sector and it's one of those professions that are really tied into your personal life as well. We were chatting about how like most of my friends, if not all of my friends, are involved in the music scene or the creative scene in some way. And I miss that being at a show with them so much and I miss just the thrill of being on stage and being able to perform my songs with people.

Do you think that mental health is the main message in your songs that will keep cropping up and is what’s really important to you or are there other themes that you’ve started to bring into your writing over the past year?

For me, writing is really personal. It's kind of like a diary, a scary diary, but I use writing as a form of therapy, so everything that I write is very much linked to my mental health and the things that I go through, and people really close to me go through. And it’s a way of getting these thoughts out of my head without having to talk about it because I am the worst person, as much as I sing about it, I'm really bad at talking about my mental health and actually opening up to people.

So I think if I can do that in a way that helps other people as well as it helps me. That's the aim for me. You know it's just to connect with people and have a little bit of hope because all of these songs that I write, they might have really sad topics behind them or themes behind them, but I get to do what I love because of them. I get to connect with people, I get to talk to people and get to make friendships and it came from all of these mental health songs that I've written about. It makes me realise how important it is to talk about these things, especially if you have the strength to.

I still get terrified before I go on stage because I know that I'm pouring my heart out on stage in front of all these people and I have no idea how it's going to go each night, but it's really important to me to keep spreading that message of: It's OK to have mental health issues. Everybody has some form of mental health issues. Nobody is perfect and it feels like a very human thing to communicate. I don't understand why there's such a stigma around it.

How do you feel about the narrative that if you write music, you don’t need therapy, that the music is therapy and is cathartic?

I think if you need help, get help. Your music isn't going to suffer because your mental health is getting better, and I think that's really important for people to understand.

There's this narrative of a tortured artist and you have to be suffering to make good art, and there's no logic in that. There's no reason why you can't better your mental health and feel happier and still write really good songs.

If you need help, get help. Your music isn't more important than your own mental state.

This year loads of people have been learning new coping mechanisms… are there any rituals that you do before stage or daily?

It's something that I'm working on. I've been reading into it a lot more. There's this book called Sound Advice that I've absolutely been loving and it's about creating rituals, especially with your bandmates, because you need a connection before you go on stage, that's why people play ball games or silly word games before they go on stage, to get that connection and bring the best onto the stage.

But before all this, I definitely took maybe 5 minutes before I went on stage and just didn't talk to anybody. I'd kind of take the time for myself because of the nature of the songs. I had to be in the right mindset to go sing them before, without breaking down onstage.

It's talked about all the time, how exercise helps your brain, and so I've started running and doing yoga a lot more and not for any physical benefits. But just because I know that it's going to help me in the long term and my brain.

What habits do you think you've had to unlearn over the last few years?

Finding my voice was difficult. We're in the middle of recording my album and this time I've taken the reins a little bit and realise that I like having a hand in everything in every aspect of my music. So, I'm definitely a lot more assertive than what I was, maybe three or four years ago whenever I was just starting out. And it is something that you learn – that you have a voice. And you're allowed to use it, even if you're young.

Some of the youngest people in this industry are the ones with the most inspirational ideas.

Always remember that you have a voice and you're allowed to have that creative expression and guide your own music like it's your music, so don't let anybody else take charge of it.

You put up a post recently saying that you were really excited about your new tunes and how they were really different... in what way are you excited about them being different?

They’re very true to what the songs are about. It’s shown in my writing how I’ve evolved as an artist. Practice makes everything better, so I'm really proud of these songs and I'm really excited about them. The whole mental health thing has carried over a whole lot and I'm glad that it has and I don't think I'll ever step away from talking about things like that.

There's been so much talk about how the music industry needs to step up, and I think it's really important to talk about these things ... what do you wish people knew about being a musician that isn't always visible or obvious?

All of the hours that go into and everything that goes into behind the music. Whenever people hear your music, it's a finished product. It's all shiny and bright and they don't realise how much has gone into the thought, the artwork or the production or the videos and all that aspect of it as well.

I think it's really hard to see music as a nine to five because you always end up coming up with ideas and the best ideas that I have always come at like two in the morning whenever I'm going to sleep, and I have to roll over and write them in my notes app or else I won't remember them in the morning.

Is there anything else you would say about your new tunes?

I’m being very mysterious at the minute! We’re working away trying to get everything done for my debut album and it’s the first time that I've had so much space to sit with every aspect of a project without shows in between. I want it to be something special to me and I think putting in the time into it is making that real.

What do you hope for the music industry going forward, what changes would you want to see?

That it’s more of a gender-neutral environment, especially when it comes to radio because I think everybody has seen the disparity when it comes to Irish radio at the minute. I want to see more opportunities for women in the music industry that aren't token, that you're not the only woman on the line-up.

Also more transparency. There’s a lack of transparency when it comes to a lot of the industry stuff and I know my manager, Liam, he's been great at the minute because he's started this Instagram page all about the industry and everything you need to know about labels, publishers. Everybody seems to keep to themselves and I wish that there was less of this competitive nature. There's room for everybody to get the opportunities that they deserve and there shouldn't be this need to be better than somebody, because we're all in this.

I want it to feel like more of a community than competition. I feel like if there was a worldwide community of musicians and everybody in the music industry was helping each other, that would be the day.

I think if it was more accessible and more open to young artists, people wouldn't be as scared or feel as if they need somebody else to know all this stuff. They wouldn't be taken advantage of. There needs to be more education when it comes to that, especially when it comes to the younger artists.

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You can check out ROE's music here.

#CMDublin CMProcrastinate CM2021

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