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#i'd probably be talking for an hour if i listed everything in detail
barbieaiden · 8 months
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2. [Doorbell rings]
3. Kell: Sam. Fuck. Uh. I totally forgot you were coming. Sorry about the mess, I was going to clean.
Sam: Were you sleeping?
Kell: Yeah, but I should've probably woken up, like, 9 hours ago so it's a good thing you came.
4. Sam: I can help you clean.
Kell: Yeah, no, that's not happening, I would die from embarrassment. Sorry if it's smokey in here, I don't want to give you an asthma attack.
Sam: No, it's fine.
5. Sam: Are you okay?
Kell: Not at all.
Sam: Did something happen?
Kell: Well, I don't know if you know this, but one of my closest friends got himself into a coma?
Sam: Very funny.
Kell: Then it's been downhill from there. How is he? Aiden?
Sam: He's, um...
6. Sam: I don't know. He's acting like the whole thing was just nothing.
Kell: To be fair, he was unconscious the whole time so it was probably nothing to him. Plus, this isn't his first drug-related medical emergency, is it? You, however, were a wreck. Like a total mess.
Sam: I'm sorry, next time my fiancé is in a coma I'll think of being more presentable.
Kell: Good.
7. Kell: No seriously, pretty understandable with the situation and all. I'm glad things turned out the way they did, I'd have no one to get high with if Aiden died.
Sam: Kellan.
Kell: I'm kidding. Also, it wasn't weed that got him into a coma, Sam.
8. Kell: Seriously, though, actually seriously this time, I get it. I mean, I was a wreck too. Honestly, I don't know what I would've done if Aiden died.
9. Kell: Especially not like that. The waiting was the worst, not knowing if he'd be okay or not. I mean, I don't know about you but I had some hope he'd live, but still.
Sam: [Shakes head]
Kell: You didn't think he'd live? Like, at all?
10. Sam: ...no.
11. Kell: In other news, my date last weekend was so bad. Unimaginably bad. Easily top 3 list bad.
Sam: You have a list of your worst dates?
Kell: Well, Sam, some of us aren't super fucking lucky and randomly meet the love of our lives one day. I have to gamify it to maintain my sanity. She was really nice, though, it was my fault. I just wanted to go home the entire time.
12. Sam: Let me know if I can help.
Kell: With dating? You might be in a long-term relationship but you're not qualified.
Sam: No? You know what I meant.
Kell: Dude, you're literally the last person I'd unload my emotional baggage on right now. I'm more likely to do it to Aiden. Aiden.
Sam: Kell, you are not making me feel better.
Kell: I'm not trying to. I'm giving you a reality check.
13. Sam: I don't need a reality check, I'm well aware I've been a mess.
Kell: You literally went straight from a mental breakdown to taking care of Aiden.
Sam: Yes? He was in a coma? He's my fiancé? We live together?
Kell: Okay, now you're just making me feel lonely. You're literally third wheeling me and Aiden's not even here.
Sam: You brought it up!
Kell: Oh. Right.
14. Kell: Have you slept in the past week, by the way? Because it doesn't look like it.
Sam: I have. This is just what I look like.
Kell: It's not.
Sam: Yes, it is. You're just insulting me now.
15. Kell: My point is, you let me know if I can help you.
Sam: You could have phrased it in a nicer way.
16. Sam: Can we talk about something else? I'm getting tired of coma related conversations.
Kell: Oh, for sure. I can tell you about my worst dates list and you can laugh at me. I have it written down and everything.
Sam: What?
Kell: Yeah, with details. Do you want to see?
Sam: ...sure.
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shai-manahan · 20 days
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Hi! It's been a while since I've talked about the upcoming updates, but I finally had a chance to actually sit down and make plans! (the life of a corporate slave, am I right? 🙃)
It has something to do with the changes I will be implementing on my patreon, though. I've thought for a while how to give content that's worthwhile of subscriptions while also making sure I can be comfortable with them, and in all honesty, I had a tricky time doing it. HM is too personal for me, as I used to talk about before, and some of the patreon benefits I promised before eventually felt too revealing - of my own thoughts and people whose lives were a huge inspiration for this story.
I will be talking about these changes and the update schedules as well below the cut.
UPDATES
I aim to finish at least half of HM's Book 1 this year. It seems to be a more realistic goal than forcing myself to finish everything right away (which tbh may have been a huge pressure I put on myself the past few years), though admittedly, things are unpredictable in the field I'm in; my job is full of overtime hours, and I spend most of my weekends trying to recover (or sick).
Still, I gotta finish it one way or another, and it's not going to write itself (though I wish it would!), so yeah, set realistic deadlines, pull out a few all-nighters, and maybe I'll actually get through it, who knows?
I do hope I'll have steadier finances by the time Book 2 starts so I can put more focus on writing and have sufficient energy for it, but that's a conversation for another day.
Changes in Prologue - Chapter 2
Okay. I know I promised not to make revisions until I write more chapters, but changing how some game mechanics work and reworking the stats made it a necessity, and I underestimated how much rewriting I'd have to do. A few scenes ended up not working well anymore, and I couldn't resist from revising a few clunky sections while I was at it.
Dialogue options were one of those that were significantly affected by the stat changes, but no worries, nothing is changed in the story -- meaning Wesley still fucks with the Ripper's life (oops), Richard still goes off doing whatever non-sus thing he's doing, you can still punch Bale (it's even a lot funnier this time), Bertrand remains a bitchy cop, and you'll still have your sad flashback with your former best friend/lover/crush or whatever they are to your MC.
The plan is to release the updated version of Prologue and Chapter 1 to patrons by the end of March (I will have a few days off work that week) and release it to the public once the new content is also ready, which I presume will be available next month (I will keep you all posted but I really hope I can get it done by then because it's been forever 🥲).
I might tweak Chapter 2 a little so the available portion can stand on its own rather than be divided into two parts, because it's just too long lmfao and is harming the pacing as I keep worrying about the length. I'm also incorporating a few suggestions a few folks gave me these past few months.
Succeeding chapters
I've probably said this before but things are bound to get more insane in HM once we're past the first three to four chapters. But also quicker to write in a way. They're the kind of scenes I thrive in, and while they have bigger variations, they're a lot more fast-paced, characters start being manipulative little shits, and the threats are more prevalent than ever. Your Ripper will not have a good time, but I certainly will (I say as I look at my outline and get sad doing it). There will be a few "breaks" in between, but this is not and will never be a light-hearted story. Anyway, I'm inclined to believe I'll be more consistent with updates when that time comes, so bear with me for now :')
PATREON CHANGES
This is getting long, so I'll just list the updated tier benefits and end the day with it. I'll be posting a schedule that I will be committing to (here and on patreon tomorrow morning), with the below details as well (so if you wanna stop here that's totally valid) but for now, here's the tentative list:
Tier 1
Early access - 4 days before a public update (this month will be an exception and you'll get the update as soon as the other tiers get it, too).
Sneak peeks and deleted scenes - I included the latter because apparently I delete a lot of great scenes
Hints for future revelations in the story - the categories will depend on results of polls; the hints may be about Bale's death, about Ripper's family, Pharos, Cyro, the ROs themselves, or the nightmares that the MC is getting, etc. Might be in form of vague conversations/dialogues between unknown characters, might be me dropping subtle info about those involved. Either way, it will be fun :). The polls and these hints will be given monthly.
Tier 2
Early access - 1 week before a public update
all the other benefits for Tier 1
monthly RO snippets - I'm still experimenting with this, but I might simply write MC x RO snippets (with different kinds of MCs for different scenarios because I deeply hate writing blank slate MCs, sorry)
a choice to see the POV of a character, decided through polls, for every chapter/update.
Tier 3
Early access - as early as it's available and goes through testing stages
all other benefits for previous tiers
Non-RO short stories
Previews on unintroduced characters :)
That's all for tonight! I am so tired lmfao but I hope you all are having a great weekend so far! See you tomorrow :)
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catsandgoodbooks · 1 month
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20 Questions for Writers
Tagged by @bleue-flora (I am sorry it took so long it's been like a month I was procrastinating)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
22, because my brain hates to stay focused on one idea at a time and I just have to make everything worse. I've got a lot more half-formed ideas and three-paragraph beginnings of fanfiction too <3
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
124,920 - that's...a lot. And it's only been about a year, so yay!
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Dream SMP. I'm lurking in a couple other fandoms (mostly the Locked Tomb and Dragon Age), but I haven't written anything for those yet.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
1. Off the Planned Course
Not that surprising because it's one of the fics I've been writing the longest, is the longest of my actual stories (so not counting Whumptober stuff), and it also has the most people reading it (I blame including the Syndicate for that). It's probably my favorite too, so the validation is really nice (even if I keep getting writer-blocked by it).
2. Unfortunate Circumstances
Also one of the long ones, so it makes sense that it's on this list. Also, literally the second Dream SMP fic idea I ever had, so it's great that it's still going.
3. Easier Said Than Done
This one I kind of feel bad about - I decided to change a few details a while ago and I'm still not done with editing the old stuff so I can start on new chapters, so I really haven't been writing much for it recently (i.e in the past six months). Maybe this will get me to work on it again but I wouldn't hold out hope. It's not abandoned, but it's still basically on hiatus.
4. Shared Scars
I really like this one, but I didn't really expect anyone would read it because it was just a random AU with no basis in canon about two side characters, y'know? It's just really fun to write.
5. Dive Deep Into The Dark
This one is the one that surprised me, because it's just a collection of Whumptober oneshots that I wrote in like an hour each. But, hey, apparently people liked that, so yay?
5. Do you reply to comments? Why or why not?
Whenever I can, because they're taking the time out of their day to read my stuff and going the extra step of leaving a comment, and because I just like talking about my stories and stuff <3
6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Okay, this and the next question are kind of difficult because I am allergic to finishing anything, ever, and that means I have to stick to oneshots, but I'd say either everything I've ever written for a Whumptober prompt (because those are all terrible, basically) or Old Habits Die Hard (Old Reliances Die Harder) because it's an angsty canon-compliant (ish) oneshot where nothing is resolved and everything is just terrible. In my longer fics, I don't really plan for tragic endings, because the ending should be happy even if the journey there wasn't, or else the whole things sad and there's not really any point.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Again, only oneshots count for this, so I'd probably say burn the scorecards, balance out the scales, because the ending is hopeful and probably the best possible outcome via rivals duo.
8. Do you get hate on your fic?
Not really, which is great. The most I ever get is a confused comment or someone making assumptions, and that's all fine.
9. Do you write smut?
No, and I don't plan to.
10. Do you write crossovers?
No, but I have some ideas I might write that involve crossovers and I might write them eventually.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I know of!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, I have not <3
13. Have you ever co-written a fic?
No, but I would like to in the future.
14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?
Drunz, for sure. It's the ship that really got me into the fandom and I've always liked that sort of toxic codependence even though they're terrible for each other.
15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
All of them? Well, besides that, I'd probably have to say Off the Planned Course, because, although I really love it, I have no idea how to end that thing or when.
16. What’s your writing strengths?
Absolutely no idea, maybe internal monologues? It's hard to evaluate your own writing.
17. What’s your writing weaknesses?
Dialogue. 100% dialogue. I get in my head about if it sounds natural or if anyone would ever say that or if I'm writing a character right and then it turns about clunky because I'm too busy worrying about it.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I don't have a problem with it, but you should provide translations in that situation so the readers have context and know what's going on.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Dream SMP
20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?
Probably Off the Planned Course, there are some chapters were I was just having the time of my life writing that thing even if they were immediately followed by two months of struggle.
Not tagging anyone because it's been ages and I'm bad at doing anything quickly so yeah. Also, it's my birthday today and time is really fucking weird <3
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kaiserouo · 7 days
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Hi.
This is a rambling post because i'm sick. Somehow turned into a post about my history about art. Kinda spent too much time on this that i don't really wanna delete this now. Oh well.
More below.
Yeah okay. You might think why i'm rambling in an art blog. It's because english isn't my native language and i kinda think differently with english. I've complained enough on plurk with chinese today so, uh, i'm here now lol.
I am so sick right now i don't even know if it's food poisoning or normal cough / fever. Anyway, i stared at a blank canvas in csp for >4 hours and cannot even do anything because of all the migraines i have.
The pain kinda took away the little inspiration and creativity i had, even though i have like a full idea list with detailed and concrete comic plot attached to almost every single item on the list.
So i'm gonna post the second hound i've ever drawn, probably because i have just lost the capability to make proper decisions. Also being sick and cannot physically do anything made my mind flew to who knows where.
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2022/02/12
I mean, it kinda sucks. I know i also didn't achieve anything important now but oh man.
You know, it's kinda a miracle why i'm here doing art stuff almost every single day, and why this piece is in my phone in the first place. If you've seen my stuff a lot (for whatever reason) you might already know i...don't like myself very much. Not until recently when i'm reading a book did i realize i'm a perfectionist type of person. Like, i don't like failure, i don't like being...not able to do stuff. When i try something i think i can achieve and realize that i actually just...don't have the ability to do the stuff to my standards, i'd very likely just quit.
I was not capable of drawing anything. You might be thinking "oh no art is not about being capable or making masterpiece first try it's for fun you can do whatever." I kinda got it, like i understand the point this sentence is trying to convey, but my brain just...doesn't work like that. I think perfectionist is just an inherent bad habit of mine. Especially that i've been lurking on social media watching actual masterpiece level of fanart (at least to me) since i was like, 12. My taste of art and what i perceive as "good" did not match my ability to draw, and very likely never will.
It's basically a death sentence, because if you can't really achieve something to your standards then why do you even try? I mean, objectively speaking it's very illogical to say that and you can probably deduce a lot of contradictions from that, maybe like "masters were once a noob too they weren't born with all the skills they have" or something like that. But that's why i said i'm a perfectionist and it's my inherent bad habit. My brain just defaults to...whatever illogical thinking i said. Until that piece of Bloodhound i've already tried to draw many characters years before, but those attempts just...never last.
But that time, when i tried to draw Bloodhound, i recalled an advice that you should put all your work on the internet. Just, literally all of them, no matter how bad it was. It kinda makes sense to me actually. To keep the progress for future inspections; to give myself a pressure to draw something every day; to put what i was thinking into words, knowing that i will forget all the struggle i had once i became good enough (if that ever happens).
So i made a new plurk account. Nice platform, only taiwanese use that, very little people, even less will see my art months into the cause so that's nice for an introvert like me. But the pressure i gave myself to post everyday is very real, and i despise my art every single day. Old habits die hard, even for now.
Everything kinda flows natually after i got into the habit of posting things everyday. I must stress that this habit itself is a miracle. I'm an introvert that can't really talk with strangers, let alone shouting out loud (i.e., posting) on the internet. Anyway, this changed things. I started to actually draw, like, almost every day. There's never anything i did in my life that i actually made into a habit, or, uh, just generally do everyday without much obstacles in my heart. I usually just play games after school and watch youtube and daydream about all kinds of plot about the game, that'd be all i do.
I can get through a lot of details about the progress thanks to the post i was making, but to put it simply: i think i'm trash at making art, and my art is also trash, so i tried to learn things to make it…less trash. Most art post i've done i wrote about what i tried and what i've learned. Not actual research and book reading, just a bit of observation i made to make my hound look better.
At roughly 2023/2 i saw a post about learning art in 100 days. Ignoring all the thoughts thinking i was trash and achieved way less in a year, i actually started borrowing books about art. Spent like 2 months on stonehouse's anatomy, also a bit on perspective. I'm kinda a nerd so i'm completely fine with the biology and perspective related math (like most properties are 10 seconds easy proof after all). But the memorizing part of anatomy and the intuition part of perspective i'm still trying to get familiar with. Well that all comes down to practice and practice and more practice, which i do way less than i should to be honest.
At 2023/7 i made this account. That time i just got into destiny 2. Fun fact, that banner of cayde + bloodhound + omen was made in ~2023/6 and i didn't even know which games cayde and omen are from until i actually look it up.
And…yeah. This post kinda turns into my history of drawing but this is it. Still learning, still making my daydreams into art. i think the only thing that changed this year is that i kinda enjoy my own art now. I still think some of them are bad, especially as the art gets older, but it's not completely unbearable now. Like, i often go back to some old posts and think "oh yeah i drew this idea, still hilarious to me lol." Crazy, huh?
Okay i'm tired. I think this should have some kind of ending or conclusion...
Yeah, so why it's a miracle i'm here? I started to make art, i kinda made it a habit, i posted about my art even if i'm an introvert irl, i look down upon my own art because i'm a perfectionist, i still make art despite of that, i post enough stuff on the internet before and i plucked up my courage to post on english platforms (i.e., tumblr), and i'm still making art till this day.
I didn't meant it as some kind of art learning advice because you shouldn't even listen to me in that case. It's just me mesmerized by how i even ended up here. Tend to do that when i'm sick on bed doing nothing.
C'est la vie, am i right?
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annieskawaiiworld · 1 year
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Hi! I'm Joana, aka Mysty, aka a few other names depending on where you know me online! I'm a 32-year-old woman with ADHD and chronic pain, among other things, and I need help.
For almost six years I've worked at the same fast food restaurant, and even during lockdown, I got mostly full-time hours and was able to sustain myself on this job as the minimum wage in my state is higher than average and I have a sister who I live with and split bills with.
Well, back in September, I had a meltdown due to stress. Since then, I've been fighting with the store to actually cut down my hours a little so I could avoid both the extremely stressful dinner shift and being there when my ADHD medication wears off. At first I thought the store manager understood because I got the slightly shorter shifts I had requested. And then they went right back to scheduling me how they were. When I tried to talk about it, the store manager gaslit me, trying to tell me I had never said I wanted the reduced hours as my permanent schedule, even though I had a note on my phone I had written so I would be prepared with what to say when I spoke with her, timestamped for that September.
And now, because I spoke up, they've pretty much slashed both mine and my sister's hours to practically nothing. In this month of January, I've averaged between seven and thirteen hours, and my sister's been about the same. We have bills to pay! We have rent, phone, internet, groceries, everything that an adult is expected to have.
So here's where you can help me. I have a few things to present to you guys.
The first, of course, is if you'd like to make a direct donation to me, you can do so here. I have a Paypal debit card, so any funds put in there I can use right away, meaning I'd be able to pay for groceries and such directly from it without waiting to transfer to my bank account or pay the fee for instant transfer.
The next: I'm a writer! I've been making some money here and there from it. If you'd like to support me and buy my stuff, here's a list.
I'm The Reincarnation of a Water Spirit
I'm The Protagonist of an Otome Dating Sim And I Don't Like Any of My Love Interests!
I Just Want To Play The Game Without Getting Crushed By Giant Tomatoes
These three are serial stories on Kindle Vella! I update them frequently, and on top of royalties from episodes read, the more engagement (likes, faves, reads) I get, the higher my bonus from them is every month. They're stories modeled after anime and light novels, so if that's your thing, great!
Attention to Detail
This is also a Vella serial, under my pen name. This one is more American YA-style (the protagonist has ADHD and is in a relationship with another guy! Neurodivergent and LGBT rep yay!).
SK Online, Volume 1
This one is a novella, another anime-inspired story about an MMORPG. If you like .hack, you'll probably like this.
Sweet Saviors, volume 1, volume 2, volume 3
Sweet Saviors is a novella series about manga artists, starring the cutest manga-ka you'll ever meet.
The links for the novellas lead to the e-book versions, but you can click into the paperback versions if you like!
And finally, I have a merch shop! I like to draw cute things. If you like wearing t-shirts and such with cute animals and anthropomorphized food, I bet you'll love it!
You can find the Annie's Kawaii World shop here at Threadless.
If you're still reading this, I love you forever. Even if you can't donate or buy anything to help out, reblogs to spread this around to those who might be able to are deeply appreciated. Thanks, guys. You're the best.
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atlas-affogato · 8 months
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Hi! Firstly, I want to say that I really like your fanfics and headcanons. I mean, they're so profound and detailed, and your writing style is just awesome
I sent you an ask some time ago but I had some problems with Tumblr and it didn't reach you😩 btw the ghost who liked your posts, which you once made a post about, is me (I hope I don't sound like a creep)
So, I'd like to share some hcs of mine, too:
1. I see Ratso as a person who, despite looking childish outside, can be pretty serious. I imagine him wearing glasses while reading (I also think that he likes reading hard and scientific stuff). He looks like a university professor with the glasses on sitting in the armchair with a huge book about theoretical physics
2. He also may resemble a professor or a teacher sometimes. He likes helping enforcers' nephews with school assignments and homework, but he tends to explain things and wait for the boys to solve everything by themselves like a real teacher.
3. Chow definitely wore glasses when he was young. He was told to wear them by doctors when he was about 8 - 10 years old and it made him really upset. At first Chow even refused to wear them but he couldn't see anything from the blackboard at school and distinguish people around him. He didn't like glasses as he looked like a nerd with them on. Chow also got bullied for being puny and weak — so he started working out, but it didn't really help, unfortunately.
4. Finn and Ratso are extroverts while Chow is introverted. It took him some time to make their acquaintance and then become friends. Chow doesn't really communicate with other people from the Dark Hand while Finn knows everyone there. He likes small talks. Ratso is keen on chatting as well, but he's a bit shy so sometimes he feels awkward among new people. He just has an experience of people being rude towards him as they think he's acting like a child
5. It's totally not in canon, but I think Chow might have a tattoo on his upper arm. He got a tattoo right after finishing school to look cooler and have an "independent and giving no shit guy" vibe. Also he was a little bit into punk style back then, so he pierced an ear, maybe even two (I hc this not because I love punk guys, absolutely...)
Hi!! Oh my god thank you so much you have no idea what that means to me that you read and enjoy my fics 😭😭😭 thank you so so much
Yeah I only now got that other ask, which I can answer if you would still be interested! Are those numbers for the same list I answered with Finn? I can go digging for that post. Its nice to meet you little ghost 👻😉 (and you don't sound like a creep)
1. Yes yes yes 1000% agree. Ratso can be childish at heart but he's definitely capable of serious discussions, I see him as someone who enjoys the simple things in life and doesn't want to be embarrassed about liking cartoons or action figures. I think he's a total optomist, thinks the best of people and the world. And he definitely will sit and read complicated science and math books and theories and magazines and try to explain them to Finn and Chow, with little success
2. Oh yeah he's the guy to go to to get help with school work, he'll sit with his nieces and nephews and explain everything, spend hours with them to make sure they understand everything
3. Oh 1000% yeah Chow definitely got bullied for looking like a nerd and being a scrawny kid definitely did not help. He probably stated martial arts in high school with the hopes that it would help him with the bullying, which it did not, but it all worked out in the end right? 😅
4. Oh yeah, Finn is such an extrovert and Ratso definitely likes talking with and meeting new people but he can get tired of being around people too much. Chow is a total introvert, has no friends besides Finn and Ratso, and that's the way he likes it. I think Chow could go either way of either being a home body, or going out to clubs/bars pretty regularly. Anywhere where he doesn't have to make small talk. Ratso's definitely had people give him weird looks for being happy or excited about literally anything so he can be a bit more reserved about his hobbies and interests
5. Lmao I accept this headcanon 😆 he so would, wouldn't he? He would totally do that (I definitely don't want to draw him in 2000s emo get up, no definitely not)
Thank you so so much for the ask, I LOVE talking about Enforcer headcanons, I never stop thinking about them. But seriously, I can't thank you enough for reading my fics, it means so much to me that you think they're good 😭😭😭
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slippery-minghus · 11 months
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damn, this book on emotional neglect (running on empty, jonice webb) really has me thinking about the night and day shift between how my parents raised me before and after their divorce. like, i've always known it was a big change, but this book is often emphasizing what didn't happen, what you can't remember (because it didn't happen), and i suppose i never really understood that 13 was young enough that things happening then would have a developmental effect on me too.
(putting this under a cut because i get kinda detailed in talking about shit i went through)
i went from having a mom who was not just depressed, but over-involved and over-protective. there were a lot of rules (not that any were made understandable to me) and expectations to follow. i couldn't step out of line without immediate consequences and shaming. and my dad was... a lot more strict. or at least, had more demands. he was never very involved in my life, but he was more back then than after my parents split, even though i probably actually saw him more after the divorce.
and then when i was 13 everything flipped upside down. mom was never around. i was actually left home alone for a few hours each day, when hardly a year before i hadn't even been allowed to pick out my own clothes or cut up my own food. i reveled in the freedom, and found out ways to get away with more than i ever had before. i went from having a perhaps-too-present (but still emotionally unavailable) mother to one who was just never available across the board. and she was always so overwhelmed and miserable i felt even more guilty for making her life harder by existing. and my dad's expectations just got loftier and more vague.
before the divorce, i was always under constant threat of parenting, it was always watching, waiting for me to mess up or remind them that i existed. but after, i was left to parent myself. i had to figure out how to be responsible for myself, because i couldn't rely on anyone to look out for me. so at 13, i had to quickly and messily start learning skills that my parents had refused to teach me up until that point. i went from being behind on developmental skills to suddenly advanced beyond what was age appropriate.
in some ways, maybe a lot of ways, i think the effects on me before and after were very similar. i was dealing with opposite but mirrored extremes. i'd already known before the divorce that i couldn't ask for help, that my emotions were unacceptable, that my needs were a burden (and that having needs was proof my mom had failed as a parent, because what kind of shitty mom doesn't just intuitively know? and make it better before it needs to be asked about?), and that i could not rely on my parents for helpful feedback. they were an oppressive force to be placated to avoid their wrath. and then after... all of that just got amplified, under the twist that while i was no longer in a panopticon, they would still only pay attention to me when i messed up. and no attention at all was better than that kind of attention. so rather than going off the rails and rebelling with my newfound freedom, i stuck to the lessons i'd learned in the panopticon: stay small, stay out of sight.
and there was no real help from my parents in trying to understand, as a 13y/o child, what the divorce meant and how to process my feelings about it. not that that was new. what attempts they did make all circled around "mommy and daddy don't love each other anymore and this is why. *lists everything bad the other parent has ever done*". because vilifying each other was the only way they could think to explain it. because they were too caught up in their own pain and agendas. so instead of learning to sit with the uneasy feelings i had, and process what the changes meant for my life, i was learning about the graphic abuses my dad put my mom through from as far back as before they even married.
and when my dad got a new girlfriend, i was expected to just accept it. and welcome her into my life. i found out about her within a few months of the divorce- emphasis on found out about, not was told. i had been borrowing my dad's computer, and he hadn't turned off his instant messenger with her before giving it to me. and years later, after i'd accepted her as my replacement mom (because she was so much nicer than my actual mom, who was at that time even more neglectful than usual) when their messy break ups started, i was expected to not feel a thing. to just roll with it when the only parent who cared about me was taken away.
and by then, i was already a little self sufficient adult in that house. i got myself to school, managed my own budget (aka stole quarters from my dad's change bowl so i could afford lunch at school and gas for my car to get to school), i did my own shopping and fed myself most nights. my parents were so caught up in their own lives, but it was okay, because they didn't have to worry about me.
it was better that they didn't worry about me. because the alternative was not even getting to pick out what shirt i wanted to wear for the day.
edit: coming back to read through this and confirm my suspicions that... yep. i say all this, in the context of emotional neglect, and mention what emotions i was feeling exactly one (1) time. and vaguely at that. it's not that i didn't have them just.. they're not important. it feels more important to validate the history, to say this is what happened. a bit like it might lose integrity if i add and this is how i felt. because the unending overarching blanket of it was so painful and scary and i was so angry just... i dunno. like, we get it. it sucked. everything is stained with that feeling, to the point that i must've just been overreacting or feeling that way intentionally to ruin my parents' lives. but no, set the emotions aside, because here are the events, here is the proof that it was so hard. (the proof that it was their actions at fault, not me Having Feelings Wrong) emotions have no substance. they can come from anything, warranted or not. but talking about how at 13/14ish my mom wouldn't let me walk two blocks from school with a large group of friends but no adults? that's real. it's a concrete thing you can point to and say 'that's fucked up'. (and it is fucked up. it makes present me very frustrated. and reminds me of how infantilized and scared/trapped young me felt. how lonely i felt because no wonder no one liked me if i was always being singled out and overprotected like this. it was like she'd never stopped pinning the "not allowed to run" sign to my shirt. i felt humiliated. and so i was angry)
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noja420ategod · 2 years
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right. tumblr, I need to know if I'm the asshole here.
so I am (probably) autistic. which means I struggle a lot to go on voice calls on discord or just dealing with phone calls in general because it's incredibly overwhelming. The other issue with discord VC's is that there are often strangers or people I don't know well on said VC's, so I don't tend to join them very often. Admittedly, I can see how this looks like I don't care or don't wanna be friends with someone. I have my own ways of showing it though, like texting to check up on them or trying to organize hangouts with a few people I'm comfortable with. Sometimes I just send stupid memes to try to show I still care. now enter my ex-best friend, who we will call T for the sake of anonymity. T doesn't live near me at all, so our friendship until recently has been entirely online. Not usually an issue, at least I didn't think it would be, because like I said even if I don't join VC I still have my own way of showing I care. T had been acting distant for *months*, and I kept checking up, saying "Hey, you still wanna hang out/be friends" and stuff like that. Every time, they would say 'yeah, I'm just bad at responding to texts'. I thought all was well, thought maybe my anxiety was being stupid, which wasn't that far fetched as I've had this exact issue before. Back in May, we had huge argument which resulted in me blocking T temporarily. I'm not gonna get into the exact details, but the gist is I told T I was feeling left out because any time I tried to join calls they were either completely silent, talking about things I didn't understand or would talk over me. T said I wasnt trying hard enough, and that if I had an issue with the topics they were talking about I could change it. they also said that whenever they gave me a chance to speak after talking over me, I never took it and said my thoughts weren't important. Now, I'm going to reiterate here, I struggle with social cues a lot. I struggle to know when Not to interrupt or when to add my two sense in, and usually people talking over me meant they didn't want to hear what I had to say, so I thought these times were no different. probably a bad reaction on my part but I digress.
Skip forward a few months, I've now spent 800$ to go see T in their home city. Even without T, the trip was amazing. The city was beautiful, we went to go see some shows and went to a fair, it was wonderful. I naively thought that this trip would make things better between T and I, because we would be face to face and we would have more to talk about. Everything during the trip seemed fine, T was talking to me like normal. When we get back home, I ask T to add me back on to their close friends list on instagram, as all of our other mutual friends were on it. They said no, saying we weren't close. I decided to be honest. I asked T if they still wanted to be my friend, as I'd felt that they hadn't been putting any effort into our friendship and I felt extremely abandoned and left out. They said yes, that they would try to put in more effort, and I thought that was that.
4 hours later, they texted again. They said they didn't want to be friends, and that they had stopped wanting to be friends back in May but (direct quote) "Didn't want to ruin the trip and make it awkward for everyone". They said I'd been putting no effort into our friendship, and that since I'm the only one feeling left out it was obviously a problem I had to fix on my own, and that I was being unreasonable expecting everyone else to chnage topics if I didn't understand because the world doesn't revolve around me. They said if I wanted to add things to the conversation I could, and that being spoken over was a part of life and I had to grow up and get used to it.
I blocked them after that, but went on a rant in a different server about it. I feel hurt and ripped off, I feel like my trip was ruined. I feel like it was unnecessary of them to tell me they had stopped wanting to be my friend in may, and I feel like it's unfair that to them, the only way we can be friends is if I'm on VC. I have *never* gotten a text from them trying to organize a hangout, or from them trying to check up on me, or anything. I've been trying in my own way to rekindle the friendship for a long time, and it hurts knowing they didn't care at all. I keep thinking about it, and even though I feel like I wasn't the asshole in this situation, most of our mutual friends have stopped talking to me and I can't figure out why because I never had an issue with them. Am I the asshole?
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mensahjacq · 6 months
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Can "Weekends with Adele" Be Everyday With Adele?
BLOG POST 3 - LIVE REVIEW
Written by: Jaqi Mensah
For this Blog Post, I was able to locate a video of a recent performance by pop singer Adele. Donning the title "Weekends with Adele", it was her last performance in Las Vegas, specifically at the infamous Caeser’s Palace Resort hotel on March 25, 2023. 
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The show features a total of 18 songs, all from different albums. Some being old songs, and some more of her recent works.
TRACK LIST:
Hello
Easy On Me
Turning Tables
Take It All
Water Under the Bridge
Send My Love
Oh My God
Don't You Remember
Rumour Has It
Skyfall
Hometown Glory
Love in the Dark
Set Fire to the Rain
When We Were Young
Hold On
Someone Like You
Rolling in the Deep
Love Is A Game.
It starts off with a pianist playing the opening to her hit song “Hello”. She didn’t make an appearance on the stage until the first verse was about to begin. As soon as she walks out, the crowd erupts into cheers and applause as she begins singing live.
After the second chorus, she stops performing and allows the crowd to begin singing. 
She then performs another hit, “Easy On Me” and after this, she takes a break from performing and begins talking with the crowd. 
I thoroughly enjoyed this part because it felt like she had a personal connection with the audience and was able to talk to them casually. Thinking about this from the perspective of the performer, she probably did this to take the pressure off of herself and have a little lighthearted conversation with the audience. 
She begins performing the rest of the songs and once again the audience is under her spell.
I found it so intriguing that the majority of the beginning of the hour-long performance was done by just Adele and her pianist. I’ve never really watched a live performance before so I always assumed that it took so many instruments, people, and effort to make it look and sound good. However, with this performance, it seemed low effort but still delivered everything it needed to. With just her striking voice and the pianist’s fantastic execution, the performance really captivated the whole audience and this is everything I expected from Adele.
As she begins the 4th song, “Take it All”, three backup singers come out and begin swaying behind her and the pianist. They begin to repeat what she says and add a beautiful harmony that sounds like church music. 
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When it comes time to perform “Water Under The Bridge”, she brings out a whole drum set and drummer. The addition of the powerful sound from the drums echoes throughout the whole auditorium/ concert hall, and gives the song a depth it wouldn’t have had otherwise.
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My favorite part is when she began performing "Set Fire to the Rain". Not because it is my favorite song by her, but because of the sheer effort put into the production of the details behind her. For example, the rain falling from the ceiling of the concert hall, the fire being shot up from the floor, the guitarists and drummers, and Adele's powerful voice itself. Just mesmerizing!
I'd like to mention this article by the NY Times, "Adele Returns to the Stage in Las Vegas, Resolute and Reflective" talking about Adele's return to performing shows after taking a break. I'd like to highlight a part of the article regarding Adele's stage presence when it comes to her live performances.
"In one breath, the 34-year-old British musician will bellow a gale-force note that could shake a building’s foundation; in the next, she’ll mutter a colorful swear in her Tottenham accent."
I chuckled at this because it was something that I had noticed while watching the performance, how she could stop performing with such intensity and then crack a joke and have the audience go from devotedly singing to laughing.
Overall, I really admire the progression of the whole performance. How it starts off with just Adele and her pianists, and with each song she adds another element that makes the performance even more striking and beautiful.
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sinisterexaggerator · 7 months
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Do I obliterate your ask by sending all these or — Ah, what the heck. You're one of my favorite writers. Might as well go big or go home LOL!
3 4 5 10 13 16 22 28 29 32 38 39
Oh shit, OK.
3. Writing ritual. I do not have one.
4. I answered this one earlier.
5. I also do not have any writing superstitions.
10. Hm, has a piece of writing haunted me? Not really. I mean, I am moved in the moment by stuff, but my ADHD brain probably forgets over time, no matter how amazing it was. As far as my own writing haunting me, sure. My unfinished WIPs are screaming at me to finish. LOL.
13. A difficult subject matter to write about. Hmm. Probably my own personal history and past, but I don't plan to write a memoir or anything. Something that is easy appears to be angst and smut. I am good at creating drama and situations, and pretty decent at the sexy stuff too, I think.
16. Weirdest thing I have ever used as a bookmark: Idk, a lighter maybe? But only temporarily.
22. How organized am I with my writing? Not too organized. Bare minimum so I don't drive myself crazy. I used to have all my writing all over my desktop taking up space, word docs half finished, all in little rows. Then I made a couple of folders. Now I have a folder for all my multiple-chapter fics that contain the document itself with the writing in it, and anything I have bothered to write or create in relation to that work. Another I have for headcanons, one for finished fics, and one for WIPs and to-dos, and even misc things, like lists of names for OCs I kind of like that I've never used. Of course *THE FIC* of the hour is loose on the desktop and I can stare at the little icon until I am persuaded to open it. I back-up everything on a cloud, but when it comes to writing itself I've only made an outline ONE TIME and it's because it's my "Magnum Opus" and basically an entire series unto itself, so it needs a lot of planning and I have a LOT of thoughts about it. As far as tools, I just use Microsoft Word and notepad for notes. Idk, I am a basic bitch. ;D
28. Most delightful character I have ever written for? Hmm. Probably Shriv Suurgav, just because he is husband material and a good boy all around.
29. I draw my inspiration from canon but then my own brain I guess, and sometimes discussions with friends that I suddenly very much need to elaborate on because it's just too good to pass up. My ADHD is good in a way because my brain is constantly jumping from scenario to scenario and "what ifs" and it makes it so I have toooooo many ideas and not enough time to write them all. I like to browse Wookieepedia too and see what's there in regards to canon/legends and then take that and let it inspire me. Give me two lines about an insignificant man in a Star Wars RPG and I can make him into an OC. That's what happened with Kayson from Stars Above. And even one of the guys in the sabacc scene. He was a real weapon's shop owner in Tatooine as listed on a roleplaying game but that was all the info. I made the rest up. ;D
32. Answered this one already, too.
38. I am a perfectionist to the point every minor fucking detail must line up and make sense or I will not be happy. Like, later on if I find out something in canon contradicts something I wrote I will be LEGIT MAD to the point I'd be tempted to change it. LOL. I also hate when canon CONTRADICTS ITSELF. I research the hell out of stuff to make sure the timeline matches up, to practice proper characterization, to know the specific name of an object within the Star Wars universe, and I must, MUST describe things in explicit detail and paint a picture or I just don't want to do it. I can't just write smut usually, for instance. THERE HAS TO BE A SET UP! It has. to. make. sense. And yeah, that part is fun for me.
39. What keeps me writing is the fact I have fun with it, and people like you who talk me up! Feedback goes a long way. If others enjoy it, I enjoy that I made them happy in some capacity, if only for a few moments. If no one cared, I would probably think it's not worth it and my writing must be shit, haha.
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congratulations on your bachelors degree slug! can you give us tips on managing the workload and how you were able to talk to your counsellors about early grad? i’m a freshman in college and hope to transfer for junior year and finish then :)
Thank you very much for the congratulations! Put under a cut for length.
Your school will likely have a much different process than mine. I apologize; I will be a bit vague about the details, but a huge part of why my university worked so well for me as opposed to other schools (which I really struggled with) is because it was almost entirely self-paced. Because of that, if I wanted to take a year's worth of courses in a single semester, I could, provided I showed I could handle it. It wasn't a complex process. In your case, you will probably have a lot more graduation requirements and fiddly things to deal with, so bringing it up to a counselor now and making a roadmap towards graduation is a very smart idea. Be really careful! You don't want to end up in a time crunch due to perquisites, fall-only/spring-only classes, etc. If you're outside of the US, this may not apply (but still, please talk to the counselor), but plan ahead to take summer classes too. You'll probably not be able to do a lot of internships, extracurricular activities, or other fun/enriching things. Is the trade-off worth it? Maybe. In my case, I was paying for most of my tuition, so only paying 2 years of tuition vs 4 was a huge motivator for me. I was also working full-time and otherwise not living the typical college student life, so I already didn't give a shit about missing out on the social aspects of college. For some people, though, that's a big deal breaker.
In terms of managing the workload, again, your situation is probably going to be different. I've been lucky to have a lot of flexibility; when I was working full-time, my workday started in the afternoon and ran all evening, and when I was doing contract translation work, that could be done literally whenever. Likewise, my classwork could be done almost whenever, so I was able to shift things around as needed. My school also didn't have a lot of busywork since it emphasized self-management; it was on me to figure out how much I had to do in order to pass exams and complete projects to the necessary standards. With that being said, some general tips for time and workload management:
Plan out your time in advance with flexible scheduling. If you've been around for a while, you may remember how I always put up monthly translation calendars with daily translation goals. I almost never did the day's goal on the day itself (just because I kept moving things around as I responded to other workloads likewise shifting) but I always made sure everything was done before the deadline, aka the month's end. Flexibility is fantastic if you can have it! It allows you to absorb sudden shocks (accidents, unexpected new work coming in, illness, etc.). But if you're dealing with 12 hours of work in a day when you're only awake 16 - 18 hours, it's vital to have a game plan to know how you're going to fit that all in. Calendars, daily task lists, etc are all good tools to do this. I'd be happy to show some of mine if they're wanted.
Learn your peak hours of productivity and use them to their fullest extent. For me, I am most active in the morning (usually 5 am - 1 pm or so) so I try to shift all my hardest, most energy-consuming tasks to those time slots. Other people are most active in the evening or afternoon and should commit to those as their peak productivity hours.
Use wait times productively. Since my disability prevents me from driving, I use public transit a lot which is often sloooooow and boooooring - but I can use that to my advantage! During the unpleasant six months of my junior semester where I was averaging about 80 working hours a week (two jobs + a year's worth of classes in six months - and then there was Hypmic and housework and shit to contend with of course), the overwhelming majority of my coursework was done on the train to and from work. Before that, I printed light novel pages or grabbed Hypmic screenshots to translate during those commutes. Nowadays, on days when I know I need to run errands, I bring my self-studying textbooks with me and pencil in working on those during that timeslot. Outside of public transit, there are lots of other situations when you may lose chunks of time waiting - waiting for a ride, at a doctor's office waiting room, etc. Plan ahead, and if you find yourself in a situation where you're wasting time on your phone or whatever, know that that's a good time to spend a few minutes studying from a textbook, doing flashcards, finishing a worksheet, etc.
Budget downtime for yourself. Energy is a resource as much as time is. If you're working yourself into a crash state on a consistent basis, you're likely to burn out. Most people schedule themselves at least one day off a week to allow themselves time to relax and have fun. I... do not for a variety of reasons, but I'm very much an exception to the rule and not the rule itself. Please plan time to recharge. Having a certain time to "clock out" at the end of each day is also a wise idea.
Be diligent in taking care of yourself physically. Your body can't work at 100% capacity constantly, especially if you aren't taking care of yourself. Be mindful of getting enough rest, even if that means setting a strict bedtime. Make sure you're eating enough, at whatever times are appropriate for you, and with balanced nutrition. If you have the time, exercise is also vital.
Learn how your brain works best and go with it. What works for one person you know may not work for you. If you're not sure how to begin with this, try different strategies out and reflect as you go on what is effective and what isn't. Tweak things as needed until you feel comfortable and like you're working with yourself instead of actively fighting against yourself.
I think I'm making it sound more stressful than it is, but graduating early or otherwise managing large workloads isn't usually an easy process for anyone. I think of it as a battle I have with myself to be the very best that I can be each day, which requires a lot of discipline, training, and mindfulness of my thought processes. I don't always win this fight, but I take note of what didn't work and then try again the next day and the next to do better. Best of luck to you in your education!
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bemylord · 3 years
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todo finding out that his s/o is takada-chan’s younger sister
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rq: Hey Ny👋 i would like to request something. Can you write a Drabble about Todo finding out that his s/o is Takada-chan’s younger sister? I thought it would be funny, you don’t have to do this but I appreciate it.🙏
characters: aoi todo x fem!reader.
warnings: just todo being overdose with his s/o and takada-chan. it's super fondness and funny + au. my grammar mistakes.
butler's remark: (^◕ᴥ◕^) hello lord, it's me with a fluff work as you might see. did his s/o a todo's type: man has a booty kink [if there is one], in any case, it's a short sketch. also, i couldn't find todo's image like gojo's one or itadori's so i apologize.
disclaimer: everything you read is purely my opinion - any detail, sketch, or event is a figment of my imagination.
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you knew your boyfriend was is a huge fan of your older sister, that's why you kept hiding your 'secret' from todo. not because he'd a clingy and be asking to get acquainted with her. you were waiting 'till your sister will have a concert whilst todo will be on the mission - what a shame to be probably on the other side of town when your idol is performing - the probability of such a coincidence is extremely small, but not equal to zero.
like now, when takada has her performance, todo is fighting over the special grade cursed spirit. he couldn't do anything but to exterminate the monster, so he could watch the takada's concert.
a few hours after your sister's concert, when your lover showed up on the doorstep of the house.
'i missed the concert. it was a rare occasion, it-' todo is standing in the door frame, sobbing as he missed the concert his idol. you never mentioned you like her or watching takada's shows on the screen, therefore, todo has to impress you with her. /if he knew she is your sister/
aoi todo - as i mentioned before - would be freak around you when nobody sees: his hands will wrap your waist all time, mostly in the evenings as both of you will be watching tv, but in reality, neither todo nor you ain't seeing what on the screen, mainly, you give each other warmth and hugs.
todo upset as he couldn't show you her concert. he sits on the couch in the living room, tossed his head.
'i wanted to bring you to the concert, so afterward we could have the memory'
'aoi..'
'whose concert?'
takada's head peeked out from behind the door frame leading into the kitchen as she came into the room with her stage persona [?]. todo is sitting there, looking at you, at her, not knowing what's going on.
'y/n, do you see what i see?'
you looked at your older sister, giggled. todo laid his elbows on his knees, put a chin on his fist, speculating on the situation. even being a grade first sorcerer, his brain is mushy as his capability to think straight is lost. todo could calculate a masterful plan of how to beat the spirit but at this moment, he doesn't know what to say.
'my hallucination probably played out, there is no percentage to takada-chan being here and even had spoken'
'do you think i'm not real?'
aoi's brain starts to work as the idol came to the sorcerer, dramatically pouted her lips. the moment of realization of what's happening dawned on him, as light pink blush is dotted on his cheeks, as he almost jumped off the couch.
't-takada-chan, i.. you real? certainly, you ain't fake, just..'
todo is dawned by a sudden feeling, which is hard for him to describe - such an unplanned meeting with an idol unquestionably makes him impossible to talk. even tho he's a sorcerer, ranged first which means he's powerful and astute when it comes to finding the best plan to exterminate the cursed spirit.
'i've been all ears about you - y/n told me that you're the strongest among your students. i am glad that my sister is dating someone powerful and kind like you, todo-san'
have you ever seen someone red like a tomato? well, now you've got an opportunity to have a look - the side of aoi probably you and takada allowed to see is when he's as happy as a child, the full teeth smile [?] that will not leave his face until the end of the evening, he will illuminate the room.
'don't call me todo-san, it's aoi. you're my girlfriend sister, i feel uncomfortable for you to use the formal'
the second question - have you ever seen someone being battle-crazed meathead and willing to demolish everyone but actually melty ice cream and sugary? my answer is simple - aoi todo.
all evening todo had been listening to your sister's stories with admiration in his eyes, peeping at you with those practically puppy eyes as if they're reading: 'thank you, honey'. todo kinda complacent - not everyone has got a chance to talk to the idol like aoi does.
throughout the evening the little and cute blush on his dimpled cheeks staying as if that's how it should be. out of a significant and fearsome man remained a small, purring cat, if you can characterize him that way.
'takada-chan, may i-'
'call me takada, aoi'
'takada.. may you give me taka-tan beam, please?'
at last, before leaving your house, your older sister looked back at todo's request, as if she was waiting 'till he uttered the phrase. she let out a cheerful but quiet chuckle.
'here i go' as if at that meeting when todo had time to come [he probably missed the class to see your sister], still he gets tensed when takada cleared her throat a little.
at first, she clenched her left hand in a small fist, covering her face with a curve of her elbow, next swiftly closed left eye, bringing the index and middle finger toward her eye with the back of his hand to the todo and you, pronouncing, likely the most favorite phrase taka-tan.
'here you go, aoi. i had the pleasure of meeting my sister's boyfriend. goodbye, thanks for the invitation, y/n!'
you smiled as a response, closed the door whilst todo is still speechless.
'oi, y/n, why you didn't choose to be an idol? therefore i'd be your huge fan number one'
'i've chosen another way. but, if i'll be the idol like my sister, hm~ i'll have the huge crowd of fanboys, who'd like to steal my heart'
he wanted to respond but instead of saying, todo wrapped his arms around your body, kissing your forehead.
'i'm glad that you're only mine, y/n. i love you'
you smacked your lips against his as your hands are holding his cheeks.
'..maybe i should be an idol after all..'
'and show your boot- your body to every boy? i'm not allowed you, you. are. mine!'
what is going to be next? well, you'll spend the night in todo's arms as he'll tell you, probably thousand and one quotes why you're his and why he loves you. that fondness of his is unforgettable.
(☆ω☆)
butler recommends you to see this video of todo meets takada-chan and taka-tan beam. hope it's fluff and kinda funny, sorry if it's not. also that cute moment in the end, i think it was UwU.
[?] - correct if i'm wrong.
↳ back to the main master list.
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julemmaes · 3 years
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Honey - part two
Elide Lochan x Lorcan Salvaterre roommates au
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A/N: I’m so tired yall have no idea. My eyes are burning and my fingers are cramping cause I’ve been writing all day to get this done, so yeah, I’m very satisfied and some of the blogs that I consider big or are big for a fact started following me and commented on the first part, so I freaked out a little, but I can tell that I’ll sleep peacefully tonight because of that, so thank you all. Enjoy!:)
Oh, and I almost forgot, the song at the end is called “Honey” and it’s by Johnny Balik (shoker, as my man Kieran would say)
masterlist
Word count: 4,966
Lorcan's least favourite day was definitely Friday, unlike all people his age. Not because he didn't like going out in the city at night to have fun and drink until you forgot even your mother's name, but because it was the only day of the week he had to work at both the shelter and the toy shop.
He loved working with the dogs and the few cats they brought in, and although he wasn't really a people person, he enjoyed spending time deciding with the kids and parents what was the best gift to go home with. And although Lorcan would never admit it out loud, he had grown fond of some of the regulars - especially a mother of three who he knew worked as a lawyer in one of the offices above the shop. Almost every day she would come in during her lunch break to buy one of those surprise sachets that cost a euro each and if Lorcan didn't see her coming before he went on his break, he would wait a few minutes before closing up just for her. Elide had managed to find out this detail a few months later after she moved in and he knew she would never stop teasing him because he had a heart of gold.
The phone vibrated in his hand just as he got behind the wheel and he wasn't at all surprised to see that the last message he had gotten was from Elide.
He huffed, not even opening yet another link that would surely send him to yet another website with information on why the world was ending very slowly and why humans were to be blamed entirely. He started the car and drove off towards their house.
Lorcan wasn't a bad person and he really cared about everything Elide was sending him, but he was tremendously tired and all he could think about was how much he wanted to take a shower and pass out in his bed. The fact that none of this was going to happen because Fenrys and Rowan had forced him to accept the invitation out to dinner made it all worse.
It took him less than ten minutes to get home and when he parked and saw the lights in their living room on, he seriously considered backing up and getting out of there to get to Vaughan's house before Elide noticed his car and he wouldn't be able to get away no more.
He was sure his friend would take him in without question if he asked to put him up for a night.
But luck was not on his side as Elide's petite figure appeared in the window and Lorcan could not see her face, but he knew she was smiling as she bounced and waved to greet him.
Despite everything, Lorcan raised his hand in turn and smiled back at her, knowing full well that even she could not see him so low and hidden by the evening shadows.
As he climbed the sixth flight of stairs and mentally prepared himself for two more, he could foresee the flood of words that would wash over him when he entered the house. Elide hadn't kept quiet for the entire day, sending him voice messages and staying with him on calls for the entire duration of his lunch break, so much so that at one point he had wondered if she had gone to class and then to work. He had discovered that yes, she had gone, but she hadn't paid the slightest attention to what they had explained and had gotten half the customers' orders wrong.
When he opened the front door, he recognized the melody of one of the songs she'd put on her apology playlist, the one he'd made for her nearly three weeks earlier after she'd found out he still smoked. She'd seemed so hurt that after he'd gone to bed and cleaned the tiles of his blood until they glistened, he'd stood at the kitchen table and spent hours and hours searching for the perfect apology songs. A bit dramatic perhaps, but it had had the desired effect.
He sighed, slipping off his jacket and putting it as far away from Elide's as possible, so that no animal hair would get on hers. He would clean it later.
The girl in question sputtered out of the living room with a beaming smile on her face, her cheeks strangely red and her eyes so bright they were glossy, "Hello, handsome."
"Hi, Ellie." he murmured, straightening his back and making the bones in his neck crack. Elide approached and Lorcan took a step back, bumping his back against the door, "I haven't showered yet," he put his hands forward to keep her at arm's length, "you can touch and hug me all you want later, but please not now," he begged her.
She gave the cutest pout he had ever seen, "But-"
"No buts, you can wait three minutes for me to wash up without dying," he continued, walking past her without touching her or making any overly sudden movements.
"You're such a pain in the ass," she complained, that adorable pout deepening all the more, "I can always take the antihistamine if I get allergies."
Lorcan shook his head, turning a confused expression on her, "I'd rather you didn't take medication just because you want to hug me."
It was true.
To their great misfortune, Elide was one of the very few people he knew who was allergic to animal hair. Any animal. More precisely, she was allergic to the mites that lived in the fur and the dust that accumulated in it in enormous quantities even on a normal basis. Given that the dogs Lorcan worked with were left to run loose in the fields all day, when he came home he was covered in anything that could kill his friend and roommate in one sniff and he didn't want to have to take her to the emergency room again because they couldn't tell if she was breathing properly.
It was why every night since he'd started working at the shelter he had taken a shower before doing anything else. It was why their water bill had gone up so much since they had found out about this allergy of hers.
"It's just a pill Lor, it's not like I have to get shots or..." she shrugged, as if to indicate anything more invasive than a simple pill.
He brought his hands in front of his mouth like a prayer, looking her in the eyes, "How many times do I have to explain to you that if you take one type of medicine every day, after a while your body no longer perceives it as an extra foreign thing to help you, but as the norm and so it no longer has any effect?"
Elide grimaced, "I hate you."
He chuckled, walking backwards until he reached the bathroom door, just in case she had the great idea to ambush him and jump on his back, "Just wait five minutes."
"It was three before," she said frowning, "And, speaking of showers-" and then she did something that made Lorcan freeze in his tracks. He didn't register what was going on until Elide's shirt was too high up for him to avoid seeing everything. And by everything, he meant everything.
"Elide what the fuck are you doing?!" he turned around, screaming, then his eyes went wide, trying to figure out if what had just happened was true or not. He squeezed his eyes shut, closing his hands into fists, biting his knuckles, "You're not wearing a fucking bra." he said in a voice sharper than he had intended.
He heard her giggle, but the sound came out muffled, "Loorcaaan." she crooned, "Help."
"I can't turn around Ellie, you're naked," he pointed out to her with his eyes still closed, then in a lower voice, "God, you're naked. What has gotten into you?"
He felt her move as she walked around him and stopped in front of him, "Help." she said in a flat tone. Lorcan had to laugh, her tone reminded him so much of the way the green aliens in Toy Story talked.
"Help what?" he asked letting out an amused laugh.
"I'm stuck." she said slurring her words and he felt her move, she was probably wiggling to get out of her t-shirt. And if she was wiggling, that meant her-
Lorcan took a sharp breath, cursing under his breath and trying to quiet his wandering mind.
He arched an eyebrow, though he was pretty sure she couldn't see him either, as doubt crept into him, "Are you drunk?"
Elide was silent for a while, then giggled like a child, "Just a little tipsy."
"Ellie it's seven o'clock," he exclaimed amused, but surprised to learn that she had been drinking, "why on earth are you drunk at seven?"
"Just a little tipsy," she repeated like a broken record. Then she screeched like a pterodactyl and Lorcan burst out laughing again, turning and taking a step or two forward to avoid risking accidentally touching her once more.
"Alright, why are you just a little tipsy at seven o'clock on a night when we're supposed to be going out with the others?" he asked now a little more eager to know the answer.
He heard her snort audibly, "The world is ending, Lorcan, why won't you understand that?"
He opened his eyes wide, not believing what she was saying, pinning them on the picture their friends had given them for Christmas, the one with all their best pictures collaged on a coloured canvas.
And here he thought he was the dramatic one of the two.
He nodded to himself, "So you're telling me that the reason you decided to get drunk before you even went out is because of global warming?"
He heard a rustle and then something hit him on the head, "Sorry, I didn't mean to slap you," she said in the tone of someone who couldn't care less about having hit him, "Anyway, yeah. Global warming and forests catching fire and animals dying and plastic burning..." she took a deep breath and then continued for a few minutes, making a list of all the things she had learned that afternoon by reading all the articles she could find about why humans were the worst living thing in the world.
Lorcan stood patiently listening to her, occasionally getting lost when she introduced topics that were a little too specific, but listen to her he did. The way she was saying all those things was always reminiscent of the little green aliens, but he knew the subject was more serious than it sounded.
With his arms crossed over his chest, he didn't think he'd moved too much, but at one point Elide sneezed and he cursed himself for not having moved fast enough to go to the bathroom.
"I told you you'd get allergies."
"But I didn't even touch you," she squealed back.
"You know that's not necessary for even your soul to start itching too," he scolded her.
Elide remained silent for a while longer, then started talking again, "And we should seriously get some glass bottles, if I see you with those stupid plastic bottles again I'll kill you. Scout's honor." she threatened him.
Lorcan chuckled, "Elide you've never been in scouts."
"How punctilious of you." she scoffed at him, then gasped, "We could buy matching flasks, with glitter and," she gasped again, sounding increasingly excited, "We could have one of our pictures printed on it."
A smile broke out on Lorcan's lips and he knew that if he had looked in the mirror at that moment he would have seen the face of a boy lost in love. He pulled himself together, straightening his back, trying not to think about how he felt about Elide. It wouldn't have done any good to admit that those feelings were real and tangible inside him.
He was staring at Fenrys' face in one of the pictures they had taken on holiday that summer, when Elide spoke again.
"This is a list of things that should make you understand why we have to shower together."
Lorcan choked on his saliva. He coughed a few times, patting his chest.
How had they gone from polar bears dying from melting ice to them showering together?
"What are you talking about?" he asked her in a squeaky voice.
The fact that she was alluding to them showering together while he knew she was half naked behind him, a breath away practically, made him feel so many different kinds of wrong.
"We can't waste water Lor, it's not hard." she sounded exasperated, then muttered, "Sometimes I really think you're being obtuse or stupid."
Lorcan's eyes went wide, "Wow, thanks Ellie."
"You're welcome." she chipped.
He shook his head, sighing and running a hand over his face, "Don't you think there are plenty of other ways we can start saving the world, before we have to shower together?" he took the fact that she wasn't answering as a cue to continue, "Like start recycling?"
Elide gasped again, making him chuckle, "Did you sign the petition?"
"Which-" he trailed off. She was talking about the petition to have a door-to-door rubbish collection service introduced in their town. Something that would force everyone to sort their garbage. "Yes, I signed it."
"Good." she whispered.
"I signed them all," he reiterated, because it was true and he knew that Elide never sent him stupid petitions, that whatever she sent him must be important and it didn't cost him anything to put his email and name on a website if it meant he could make a difference in his own small way.
"Thank you. I really appreciate it." she said in a weak voice.
Lorcan felt strangely uncomfortable all of a sudden.
And not because of the fact that Elide was naked behind him and had just confessed to wanting to shower with him, but because he would have wanted to turn around and kiss her, not do what any other guy would have thought of doing with a half-naked girl. No. Lorcan just wanted to kiss her and take his time in the process, savour the kiss and not be hasty and quick.
He wanted it to be slow and heartfelt, he wanted her to feel every single thing he couldn't say out loud.
"Lorcan?" she whispered, "I'm always stuck and I'm starting to get cold."
He blinked, "Yeah, you're right." then interrupted. They were silent a few seconds, "You really can't pull your shirt down?"
"No."
He took a deep breath. Then another.
"Okay, I'm going to turn around and keep my eyes closed, please stay still so I don't touch- anything. I'm not touching anything. I'll try to help you." he stammered, clasping his hands along his sides. She made a simple grunt of assent and he huffed, raising his hands in the air and lowering them slowly until he touched her head. He squeezed his eyes shut tighter and then released the elbow that had gotten stuck in her shirt.
"Yay." exclaimed Elide.
Sensing that she was moving freely on her own, Lorcan pulled away again and when the sound of clothes stopped, he asked, "Are you done?"
"Yes," she said singing.
His shoulder sagged a little and he smiled. He opened his eyes, ready to move Elide to the side and go take that holy shower, but whatever he'd thought when he'd asked if she was done must have been the exact opposite of what she'd thought, because Elide's tits were freer than ever between the two of them.
Lorcan grunted, slapping a hand over his face to cover his eyes, "What the fuck, Ellie. Stop flashing me, I'm begging you."
He heard her giggle and then a gust of wind and her laughter fading down the corridor let him know she had run off. He opened his eyes tentatively, peering through his fingers to make sure she wasn't still in front of him and sighed with relief when he finally managed to get into the bathroom and lock the door behind him.
He leaned against the sink, clutching the ceramic between his fingers and staring at his reflection in the mirror.
He never thought the first time he would see Elide's tits would be under these circumstances. He ran a hand over his face again, trying to somehow erase the image he knew he would never forget.
He had just stepped into the shower when he heard something very large and heavy slam against the door. Something that seconds later burst out laughing. Lorcan could only follow as he imagined a half-naked Elide running towards the bathroom and failing to stop in time.
"Are you alright, honey?" he asked her just in case. He turned on the water, hissing when he found it frozen, but not moving from under the jet. After all, a cold shower wouldn't hurt him.
"Let me in." she shouted, slamming her fist against the door, "Let me iiin!"
"Are you dressed?"
"No."
"Then you can't come in."
A scream of despair followed by what could only be a fake hysterical cry made him burst out laughing again, but then for a few minutes all that was heard was the sound of the shower and water falling from his hair.  
"Ellie, are you still there?"
The answer came quickly, "Yes."
"Are you still naked?"
"Maybe." then he heard her move against the door and realised she'd been sitting on the floor.
Perfect, he was stuck in there. He reached for the phone and thought of something.
As he finished untangling the knots in his hair and washing out the conditioner, Elide was talking about how harmful the soaps they used were and had even gone so far as to say that they should both shave their heads so as to minimise their impact on the environment.
"What did you do today?" she asked him suddenly.
Lorcan didn't answer, dialling the number of a certain blonde girl who could help him out of this situation. Aelin answered after the fifth ring and Lorcan knew full well that she had done it on purpose, hoping he would hang up so she wouldn't have to talk to him.
"Hello?"
"Listen, something kind of weird happened and I need-"
"Who is this?" Lorcan arched an eyebrow, pulling his ear away from the phone to check the number. It was Aelin's phone. And the chick's voice on the other end was her, he was sure of it. "God, Lorcan, I'm fucking with you, what's up?"
"Funny," he deadpanned, "Elide's already drunk."
"What? But it's not even eight o'clock."
"I know, I came home and she was already like that."
A few moments of silence passed, "Okay, and what do you want me to do?"
"Well, she took her shirt off at one point."
Lorcan waited for a reaction, but Aelin didn't respond.
"And now she's naked in the hallway and blocking the bathroom door and-"
"She's what?" the friend burst out laughing.
"She's naked," he gritted through his teeth, "And she's blocking the bathroom door. I don't know how to get out and I don't want to open the door and push her off and risk hurting her. Is there any way you could come over here and help her? Help me?"
"I’ll make sure she'll never hear the end of it." Aelin laughed louder and Lorcan heard Rowan ask her what was going on. The blonde took breaths before saying, "Ellie flashed Lorcan and how he's stuck in the bathroom because he's afraid of a pair of nice-looking boobies."
"So are you planning on coming?" he asked before he completely lost his patience.
He imagined her wiping tears from under her eyes, "Yes, we'll be there in fifteen minutes."
"We?"
"Me, Ro and Fen. He's the one driving tonight and he picked us up."
"Okay," Lorcan murmured, "but they can't come up to the house."
"Why?" drawled Aelin, "Because you're jealous?"
He counted to ten, restraining himself from hanging up on her, "No, because this is going to be humiliating enough for Elide without two more of her friends seeing her half naked, so please just come up alone."
Aelin huffed, "You're right, but you're no fun."
They said their goodbyes and Lorcan put the phone down, starting to blow dry his hair.
"Lorcan."
"Lorcan."
"Lorcan."
Elide hadn't stopped saying his name for half a second throughout the call and it was starting to annoy him. Then he shook his head, no. He wasn't annoyed by Elide, it was Aelin.
That girl could get under his skin like few could.
"What?"
"You didn't tell me what you did today."
And Lorcan did, so that at least she would stop slamming her hand against the door.
He told her about the last man who'd come to see what dogs he could give his daughter and how he'd seemed so much like the guy who'd abandoned them on the side of the road after not even a week and it had pissed him off. He told her the morning had been even worse, because one of the children had started opening all the toys on display and his mother, who had been right next to him the whole time with her eyes fixed on the phone screen, hadn't stopped him and it had been up to Lorcan to tell him he couldn't do it. It was only then that the woman had realised what a mess it was and had simply apologised to him, running out of the shop so fast that he hadn't even noticed they had left. He had to call his manager and he was not exactly pleased to hear this story, but he also said that they would donate the toys to the church down the street, which was responsible for distributing them to kindergartens in the neighbourhood. That cheered him up a little.
By the time he had finished his story, Aelin had arrived and once he had taken her to her room. Lorcan could finally go out and get ready himself.
***
It was after midnight, the entire group was rocking out on the dance floor of their favorite outdoor club, a place called "The Wild Night" that was on the edge of town, closer to the forest than anything else, and normally Lorcan would have joined his friends to dance and sing, but there was a problem.
A big, huge, handsome problem.
And the problem was called Kyllian.
He couldn't figure out whose idea it had been to invite the boy with them that night, but whoever it was, this person's days were numbered, because Lorcan would kill them first and then use the limbs of their corpse to kill Kyllian.
Kyllian who had now been rubbing up against Elide for hours and who had offered her more drinks than stupid charming grins - and he really was reserving a lot of those for her.
"If you don't stop looking at him like that you're going to make his head explode," someone said, throwing themselves onto the small bench next to him.
He turned his head so fast he wondered how he had managed not to break his neck, "What are you talking about?"
Fenrys arched an eyebrow, "Even if you weren't staring at Kyllian like you wanted to see him disappear off the face of the earth, everyone here, including Elide," he told him with so much as a glare, giving him a slight shove, "would know that you're not really into what's going on on that dance floor."
"He's right," Rowan said to his left, sipping the drink of Aelin's she'd left him. When the hell had he sat there?
Lorcan didn't answer, remaining motionless with his sullen expression.
"I can give you a hand if you want," Fenrys murmured, sucking on the fuchsia straw sticking out of his equally pink glass.
He inhaled through his nose, "And how would you do that?"
"You have to trust me."
"Never." said Lorcan as Rowan said at the same time, "Don't."
Fenrys looked at them both with his mouth wide open and a hand to his chest, "I'm hurt." then finished what was left of the drink in one gulp and stood up abruptly, staggering a little, but holding himself up nonetheless. He cast a glance over his shoulder at the two boys still sitting, grinning, and Lorcan knew immediately what was going to happen.
"Ellie!" he shouted, turning more heads than necessary, "Love of my life!"
Kyllian pulled away from Ellie just enough for Fenrys to grab her hand and spin her around a few times until she burst out laughing and begged him to stop. The new boy didn't even seem to exist anymore as his best friend laced her arms around Fenrys' hips and rocked left and right, increasingly drunk.
Lorcan's heart clenched in his chest as he heard that sound so carefree, so happy.
He didn't realise he was smiling until Rowan cackled beside him, "God, you're fucked."
He didn't pay any attention to him and stood up, keeping his gaze fixed on her face.
He heard Lysandra and Aelin calling his name, hyping him up and threw them a real, quick smile that made them scream even louder, as if they were fans at one of his concerts. When he finally reached Fenrys and Elide's side, the blond spun her around ninety degrees and for a moment she closed her eyes, giggling, intoxicated by the amount of alcohol she had ingested, but when she opened them again and saw Lorcan standing in front of her, a smile as wide as he had ever seen it spread across her face.
"I'll leave you Ellie, you're in good hands," Fenrys told her, winking at him from above her head.
But neither of them even looked at him.
His eyes locked into hers as they both took a step forward and found themselves a caress away. Her chest rose and fell in an agitated rhythm. After all, she'd been dancing with everyone for hours, so much so that Lorcan wondered how she hadn't thrown up yet.
His gaze ran over her body, her bare shoulders, the line of her collarbones, and further down between her breasts. Breasts he'd had the chance to see for a millisecond a few hours before and remembered perfectly. The darker shade of pink that had characterized her-
"Lorcan."
He felt his heart pounding in his throat.
She had never said his name like that.
His eyes went up, sliding over lips so full, so perfect, up, over her nose and then up again, finding hers and the music changed, becoming slower, the lights dimmed as the strobes were turned off. Elide seemed to recognise the tune as her lips parted slightly, "Lor," she repeated. He raised a hand until his knuckles brushed her cheek and when she let go a shuddering breath, Lorcan began to sing under his breath.
"Tell me everything and hold no lies. Say you're waiting for better skies," he leaned forward as his other hand slid to her hip and Elide moved closer, until their bodies were fully joined to each other and one of her legs was between his and their hips were one thing moving in sync with the music. He felt Elide's breath against his neck and had to suppress a shudder when she too began to sing along with him.
"Oh, but honey don't taste like summer no more. Stick around now, I miss you every night,"
He lowered his head even more, brushing her nose with his own. The hand that had been on her cheek had slipped over her shoulder and was now tracing the path down her back, grazing the top of her bottom until it rested on her hip.
"Elide," he whispered, breathing on her lips. She closed her eyes, pushing herself up, towards him, and Lorcan held her tighter, moving his fingers over the exposed skin between her miniskirt and the black top she was wearing and there he was. Elide was there, with him, and she was so close to his body that he could feel the heart beating in her chest.
She was there and the next second... she wasn't. Because Elide had snapped away and was now vomiting on his feet. Lorcan held his breath as she was shaken by another gag and he had just enough time to take a step back that she threw up again.
The people around them quickly scampered away, creating a small circle of spectators and casting a quick glance at his friends he saw that they had a large audience. He just hoped Elide was too drunk to remember what happened the next day.
He looked down and grimaced, all sorts of emotions swirling inside him as the girl he loved clutched at him and puked her dinner all over his clothes.
He cursed at whoever decided how things went for breaking the best moment of his life with vomit and then gathered her hair into a loose ponytail, tying it with an elastic band he kept on his wrist specifically for these occasions.
He heard her whimper and put both hands on her shoulders, stroking her in circular motions to help her warm up. Aelin and Lysandra appeared next to them shortly after and when Ellie was firm enough on her feet to walk, they stepped over the pool of vomit and Lorcan wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pushing her towards the exit.
"Let's go home, Ellie."
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@tottenhamboys20 @maastrash @ireallyshouldsleeprn @sleeping-and-books @ladywitchling @thegoddessofyou @ghostlyrose2 @claralady @anne-reads @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @letstakethedawn @simping4bookboisngrls @post-it-notes33 @booksstorm @nalgenewhore @queen-of-demons-and-hell @miserablemusings @lanyjoy-13 @vasudharaghavan @cupcakey00 @bri-loves-sunflowers @queen-of-glass​
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ot3 · 3 years
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hey, i know you've talked about how part of the unique way QM is constructed comes from you not liking comics much but seeing it as a way to convey stories through illustration before, but as someone who relates to that, i'd like to ask if there's any piece of media (in comic form or any other medium, really) that breaks up the standard format of its respective art medium you enjoy/draw inspiration from when designing visual elements/composition? (its cool if there are none/you just don't feel like answering it btw i don't wanna bother)
i'm an animation enthusiast first and a human being second, and i was actually studying to eventually go into animation before i got too sick to stay in school, so most of my inspiration comes from there. probably only a couple surprises in this list but nonetheless ill go over my main inspirations
obviously into the spiderverse is the first and immediate thing i'd list for stuff i find inspiringly format-breaking of it's medium. in a way, what they're doing there is the exact opposite of what i'm doing - they wanted to make a movie that invokes reading a comic book, but i'm trying to draw a comic that feels like my favorite animated media.
the compositions and color design in spiderverse is the best in the game with almost no competition but i like the way they invoke paneling at key moments to show multiple things concurrently on the same larger frame and that's definitely part of what i've invoked
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ethe revues in revue starlight are also some of my favorite bits of compositional work. they have these fantastic setpieces that they user to frame the fights and theyre all chock full of meaning and characterization, with the bonus being that since fight scenes happen rather fast the comps all have to have a very strong initial read.
like wow!!! just look at these!!! such beautiful stuff! i'll never get sick of watching them
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and even if the show itself has no interest to you i really think everyone should watch the revues theyre sick as hell.
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stole these screenshots from a medium article because i could so easily get distracted combing mob psycho for screenshots right now but mob psycho has a ton of fantastic compositions, a really fun blending of art styles, and a willingness to warp physical space for more interesting shots that make it one of the best looking animes of all time. 
cartoon saloon’s films (secret of kells, song of the sea, etc) are also a master class in shape language and geometric compositions. they’re unparalleled when it comes to heavy shape language over realistic perspective in animation. also the most effective use of intentional tangents in character design i’ve ever seen.
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samurai jack was also DEEPLY formative for me in childhood. most of the screencaps i can easily find are from the newest season which i never actually saw, but the show has always had strong shapes, strong colors, and strong comps.
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there’s also books my parents read to us as really young children that ABSOLUTELY left an imprint on my psyche
graeme base’s eleventh hour was one of my favorites because the whole book was this mystery about who ruined this fancy animal party and there were coded clues hidden in the book in the illustrations or their decorative frames. just really fun, whimsical, and detailed drawings
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jan brett’s childrens books were always really cool as well, with their decorative borders that had other story elements happening in them alongside the main illustration. 
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i spent a lot of time poring over these as a kid
then something i’m realizing now as i write this post is that my love of just drawing a ton of objects cluttering a drawing as a means of storytelling definitely stems from the i spy books. 
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like these are all just DELIGHTFUL! theyre so much fun to look at and theyre literally designed to have you pore over everything. they’re devoid of life and motion, completely static, but still so alive and vibrant and dreamlike despite that. they absolutely beg your imagination to run wild thinking of where these objects might be and what they might be doing together and what it says about the imaginary person who owns them. i really just think theyre fantastic. maybe i should go buy some i spy books... im honestly kind of feeling it rn... id hang these up as prints i love them so much.
this one’s a bit of a pull but i really enjoy the illustrations from the card game dixit for similar reason. dixit is one of my favorite games, and the way it plays is you have to describe, narrate, or caption these abstract illustrations in a way that gets some, but not all of your fellows players to accurately guess what card you’ve played. all of the illustrations are rather simple with only a couple of main visual elements happening every time but once again, the elements are whimsical and dreamlike and offer a ton of depth in the story you can imagine around them. 
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overall i think all of these things combined do a decent job of building up the underlying philosophy that dictates the way i draw, which is that everything should read very clearly immediately, but have enough detail, intrigue, or elements less grounded in reality that it invites a lot of speculation about the supposed narrative you’re being presented, or the artist’s intent. all of the stuff i’ve linked here you can tell what’s generally going on very quickly because the visuals are very well constructed and pleasing, but then there’s a ton to unpack in these clean visuals once you get down into the detail or concepts.
this definitely got long and self indulgent but i hope it gave you something to think about!
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morimakesfanart · 3 years
Text
Sindria's Prophet #13
[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]
[AO3]
((edited because I figured out to add some more history facts that I think are important))
~POV Sinbad~
"The Kou Empire, huh?"
"That is going to make things risky."
With all of the Generals caught up with what happened in Balbadd, they needed to start planning for King Sinbad's trip to the Kou Empire, as well as catching him up with everything that had happened in Sindria while he was gone.
"LadY YamuRAI H AA AA A" A yell came from the hallway accompanied by the sounds of running.
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((Sinbad is hidden on the left. There's a hint of him poking out.))
A panting magician gave apologies for disturbing their meeting and ran to the head of Sindria's magicians. "I wish I knew you were here so I didn't search the tower first~" Then he started explaining about some magical proof. Most of his words sounded like gibberish to the rest, but it was clear that he had made some kind of break though.
Yam jumped out of her seat. "How did you finally figure it out?! Who figured it out?!" She whipped her head to her King, "Sorry your majesty," and then looked back to the other magician.
"It was the work of the Prophet!” the magician answered. "We were talking about her illness and she pulled out scrolls that- you just have to read them for yourself!”
Mori had said that she had written other scrolls before she started coping down Fate. This must have been what she was working on.
Both magicians bowed out to go test out this new information. Before they could leave, Sinbad ended the meeting; there was no way he was going to wait to learn what other information Mori had blessed them with. Ja'far followed as did a few of the other Generals.
When they got into the court yard, the doctors that had been sent to take care of Mori were already pushing their supply cart back to their main building. The magician that had stayed behind spotted them and raised two scrolls up triumphantly. "She let me take the scrolls!"
---
News of the scrolls written by a Prophet spread throughout the Black Libra Tower within an hour. Yamuraiha and the doctors explained their significance to King Sinbad.
If even a fraction of the theories in the scrolls proved true it would completely changed their understanding of how illnesses work. If Mori wasn't sick she would undoubtedly be swarmed with questions and demands for proof. According to the magicians, nothing in the scrolls went against any known information. Instead, they gave explanations to why certain things that had been attempted in the past had failed. What she wrote about 'cells' was what really caught the eyes of the white magicians and doctors. As an example, according to Mori's writing there were blood types and most couldn't mix; that would explain why most past attempts at blood transfusions had failed.
The 2nd scroll showed a break down of even smaller particles, and how the structures of different particles made up everything. This was going to bring alchemic magic to a whole new era. Sure, such things would most likely be limited to high magicians, group efforts, and the Magi, but it looked possible now. A lot of common magic of the current day took extreme amounts of magoi in the past because they hadn't found the right formula yet. Mori's writing -if true- could easily be used as a guide to finding the right order of commands for many spells.
And even more than that, Mori had said that she had even more information to share; she had just ran out of scrolls and ink.
Mori's presence in Sindria, and everything that went with it were Fate and the Rukh's guidance. King Sinbad could see it -the future he wanted.
---
~POV Mori~
In Sindria's Palace there is a Great Bell. It is rung during celebrations, and to signify the King returning home like it did earlier that day, but it's main use was to ring every 2 hours to tell everyone the time since clocks weren't invented yet. So even though I was a sick person trying to rest during the day, I was woken up by the Great Bell every 2 hours... which of course is also situated right on top of the guest tower.
For obvious reasons, I was awake again.
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I wish I knew how the others responded to the scrolls. I really wanted to know Yam's opinion most. Those scrolls basically gave away the secret to Yunan's signature alchemy magic.
I still had the first scroll I had worked on -the one on the science behind blimps-, and the last science scroll I had started. That one was on DNA, and reproductive systems. It was the last one I started in Balbadd. I hadn't started working on it until sunrise on my 2nd sleepless night and it showed; there were missing words everywhere, many incomplete sentences, and I couldn't stay in topic.
These mistakes were too great to fix with an ink knife. Editing was going be super annoying and time consuming since I couldn't work digitally. I'd have to physically cut up the first draft to put everything in the right order before making the next one.
Wait- Did this world have scissors???
Back home the first evolution of shears that could be labeled as scissors was in Roman barber shops in the last hundred years or so before Rome fell. China would spontaneous also create something akin to scissors not long after. Reim and the Kou Empire seemed to line up with Rome and ancient China for the most part, so I tend to use them to place the time period, but the dress Princess Dunya wears is centuries off and throws all historical accuracy questions out the window. Rome was long gone by the time boning was added to women's undergarments, and that dress had all the signs of boned corsetry.
Fuck it. I'll ask for scissors and if they don't have them I'll just invent them myself. I had been drafting professionally for the past 4 years. That may have been for microelectronics, but it uses all the same skills; I could do this. I needed to get a ruler -or at least a straight edge- and a drafting compass which they probably have based on the look of maps in the series, and pencils, or at least colored inks if they had them. I probably needed to reinvent the French curve(stencil tool used in art & drafting)...
Since I was struggling to fall back asleep I moved to the table and pulled out my test scroll. It was full of random marks and some of my early drawing attempts that I used to practice with the dip pen -it's also where I wrote down the dreams from the Rukh. I'd write the list of things I needed, rip the section out of the scroll, and pass the list to someone who could get me what I was asking for. I added some living necessities too like sleep wear and a comb.
The maids that came to give me dinner, and next dose of medicine were not pleased that I wasn't in bed -I was an important guest who was sick after all. And I wasn't pleased to have to drink more of that bitter medicine, but we can't have nice things all the time, now can we?
My voices was strained but I managed to communicate enough. I gave them my list, and laundry (the clothes I wore on the boat) before they left. They'd get me the things the next day. I was instructed to sleep until someone brings me breakfast the next day... which is what I was going to do anyway since the sun was practically gone. I might be a bit of a workaholic but I'm not going to let myself pull an accidental all-nighter when I know I'm still sick. I'm far more self aware than that.
And besides, the Great Bell didn't ring at night.
---
Maids brought my breakfast (& meds) the next morning and let me know that my clothes would be cleaned and dry by the end of the day. I guess they didn't use magic for everything.
They also gave me all of the drafting and inking supplies I asked for except for scissors. In one of the omakes Sinbad was shown cutting his hair with a knife as a part of his normal grooming. I had hoped he was just old fashioned.
For the greater good and the future of my own hair care, I drafted up detailed designs for a few different types of basic scissors. They wouldn't look fancy, but hopefully I had put enough of a detailed explanation on everything for the smith to figure out what I was asking. Steel wasn't developed until the middle ages and some of the counties of this world matched that so I hoped
that God and anime were on my side. I really wanted scissors that would be a good quality.
And if that didn't work I'd just have to get used to using knives and bladed rollers like a regular person.
The Great Bell rung for 10 am. There were at least another 2 hours before someone would show up, to give lunch, that I could ask to take my draft for the scissors to a black Smith.
I should be resting as a sick person. I should be more exhausted and in pain as a sick person. What was making me recover this quickly?
I still didn't feel like laying back down, so I decided to start drafting up the materials and equipment for proving everything I had written in the scrolls I gave the previous day.
Globally, micro-organisms, viruses, and bacteria were not really accept or proved until the late 1800's. Since Magi seems to take place some time around our 100AD-1300, and Yunan hinting at chemical compounds was seen as shocking by Yam, I knew that my bio scrolls were probably causing an uproar in the Black Libra Tower. I refused to use actual people or wait for an outbreak to prove it like how it happened in history -like how John Snow proved it when finding the cause of cholera outbreaks in 1848 and 1854 England. No, I needed to show how to prove these things in a lab, and to do that I was going to need to explain how to keep samples and invent a way to see microorganisms.
First was for a glass petri dish and other containers for samples. I'd need at least 3 -preferably more. I know glass works have been around since BC, and that this world had glass windows in some scenes, but I worried about the quality of the glass contaminating the experiments. I was going to have to boil them beforehand to sterilize them anyway.
Gosh I wish I had access to nonporous, air tight containers, and a temperature controlled environment. The heat and humidity of Sindria could easily mess everything up.
Wait... I suddenly remembered a scene from the Magnostadt arc when they showed how a sample was being stored. They already had good enough glass. I knew there were magic bio experiments but I had no idea how they worked.
With the realization that I was getting ahead myself, I switched to writing about how to use the scientific method to test for germs. It was basically the bread in a bag test to teach young children about germs but with petri dishes. I also wrote about how to analyze samples with a microscope to see micro organisms so I was going to have to figure that out next.
Lunch came as the perfect break.
Just thinking about reinventing this thing made me nervous. I knew magnifying glasses existed in ancient Rome, but they would be nothing like what I was used to. I had to explain how light moves and made multiple diagrams showing how concave and convex lenses affect light as well as the material of the lens. I ended up also showing how to make a telescope even though I knew Yam already had one.
Magicians were the only ones shown with glasses. Maybe now the rest of the world could have them too.
4 o'clock came and so did 3 doctors and a magician. It was less than yesterday, but still more than necessary to treat or analyze one person. I only recognized one of the doctors from the previous day. All of the new faces looked nervous. None of them looked young by any measure, so I really doubted this was their first time treating someone.
They weren't happy to see me at the table and made me return to my bed -their loss.
The doctor from the previous day was the one doing most of the talking. "Your recovery is amazing. You will most likely be better in another 3 days at this rate if not sooner. It's practically a miracle."
I smiled. "It's pretty shocking for me too." As long as I spoke quietly and kept my comments short, I found I could talk again for a bit.
The doctor was silent for a moment before changing the subject. "I know you need rest, but would you be willing to answer a few questions about those scrolls from yesterday?
The 3 other men looked expectant. This was why they were here.
"I don't mind as long as you don't make me talk too much."
Then came the question I was expecting since I had first made the scrolls. "I know you are a Prophet and the information came from your visions but is there any way you can prove what you wrote?"
I pointed to the table with the scroll I had started earlier. "I can't prove it with the current equipment I have, so I've been drafting up the needed equipment and processes for proving it."
They all turned to look at where I was pointing.
I added, "It's not done, but you're welcome to read what I have so far."
I was thanked as they went to the table they had called me away from when they entered.
'He called it 'visions?' Really?' I had to ask Sinbad later what he was telling his people about me so I could keep the story straight.
The magician confirmed for the others what I wrote about light bending. There was magic to do that, but not everyone is a magician. I had just invented a way for non-magicians to bend light.
Just wait until I show them a prism that can split light into colors. Or teach them how light is perceived in the eye. Or even better, show them the double slit experiment that proves that light is a particle not just a wave... Did they know light was a wave yet?
"Lady Prophet."
I was pulled out of my thoughts.
"You said this isn't finished and there is plenty of space in this scroll for more, but would you let us take this back to the tower so we can get started?"
I wanted to say 'no.' I was still coming up with things to add to it, but I also knew that holding things back because I wanted to save paper was a fool's game. Besides, I could always add more to it later.
I nodded and they thanked me before making me promise not to leave my bed. They were grateful for this new scroll but not at the expense of my health -they were doctors after all.
And then they left.
It was probably about 5pm if my internal clock was on schedule, so I had about an hour before the next ring of the Bell.
Even if I wasn't a man of my word, I would have lost the motivation to work with my current project taken from me while I was still in the middle of making it.
So, I did the thing I grew up doing when I was bedridden from illness: I looked out the window. From the bed I could only see the tops of the buildings on the other side of the courtyard. The Tower that was just poking in from the left had to be the Black Libra Tower.
The waves in Sindria were calmer yet stronger than those in Balbadd. It was probably due to Sinbad's influence. He brought stability and security to his people. I could understand why so many chose to follow him or ally with him. But I knew where all this would lead. As he obtains more power and influence he will stop being able to see himself from the pedestal that he and everyone else put him on; his greed will make him blind to the wants and needs of others, and like a middle aged parent that isn't ready for their child to leave the nest he will take out his frustration on the world that was moving on without him. When Sinbad dies at the end of the manga, Drakon realizes that they all put too much on Sinbad's shoulders.
To change Fate, I was going to have to make sure I never put him on that pedestal nor rely on him for much. And I was going to have to convince the 8 Generals to do the same -or at least to start pulling more of the weight.
The 6 o'clock Bell came faster than I expected, as well as my dinner not long after. They brought my clean laundry, a sleeping gown, and some other common clothes and things for my convenience.
I would have preferred something much shorter for the night gown since I hate having a lot of extra fabric around my legs when I already have blankets. I was not going to risk being walked in on by doctors or whoever when sleeping naked, so I would make do for now.
There was no way King Sinbad wasn't going to reward me for those scrolls. If it was some kind of treasure I'd sell it and buy a new wardrobe for myself that actually suited me, and if the reward was a request then I would ask that he pay for everything directly.
The light coming in my windows changed, and I watched my 2nd sunset in Sindria.
When Sinbad found this island 10 years ago, he completely terraformed it. He didn't get rid of all of the vegetation that was here, but he did break down one of the sides to allow for easier access by boat. The side he carved out faced northish towards all of the other known countries, so no boat would have a reason to circle the island. It was a decision that would benefit the merchants and make it easier to defend.
It also meant that my windows faced west, so I could watch the Sun set every day. I couldn't help but see that as a blessing and a curse. Sure not getting the sunrise meant I'd need to put more effort into
waking up in the morning but that wasn't the part I was worried about.
See- The thing is... I have synesthesia (having 2 or more senses overlapping). I see sounds, letters, and numbers as colors and textures. I have it mild enough that I can normally block it out so it's not too distracting (thank God because music is a main stim), but sometimes I'll hear something and get overwhelmed by how it looks.
Each letter and number is a color. So every voice can make every color, but language, pitch, tone, and accent all affect the colors and textures I see from a person's voice like a filter. There have definitely been some people that I struggled to give my full attention to when I first met them because I was entranced by how their voice looked. The more I hear a person's voice the more I'm able to move its visuals to the background so I can focus -desensitizing myself to it.
Luckily, Sinbad's voice is normally not so distracting that I stop paying attention. Since it's like a merger of every voice actor I've heard play him (All the characters I had met so far were like this.) I'm already desensitized. The similarities across all of the VAs meant that his voice looked like a sunset -full of deep purples and magentas, and bright reds, peach, and gold, and with a smooth and flowing texture like painting in acrylic with a wet brush -like a painting of the last moments of a sunset.
His voice was as pretty as he was.
I hadn't actually gotten to see or hear him for a whole day. But I'd get to look at his voice's equivalent every day while living under his protection.
It was frustrating to admit -I barely knew him as a real person- yet I couldn't deny that I missed him. I feel asleep watching the sun set.
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((I wasn't going to write about my synesthesia, but this is my fanfic and I thought it might be fun to reference the colors peoples voices make when the characters talk. I'm not going to paint every VA and head cannon, but I will describe them as I go. Ja'far's Japanese and English VAs have voices that look very different so finding the middle ground is proving tricky.
Also, anyone who noticed that the purple I see in Sinbad's voice is the same as the purple I've been using for the illustrations and comics is super smart and cool.))
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xxwritemeastoryxx · 4 years
Text
These Violent Delights Ch. 4
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The Black Card
Author: xxwritemeastoryxx
Pairings: Elijah Mikaelson x OC
Word Count: 2.4K
Warnings: Talk of murder, that’s pretty much it in this one. The next few chapters will have more warnings. 
Author’s Note: Smaller chapter than the last two, but it’s definitely needed to help progress the storyline. I do hope you guys enjoy this one!
Feedback gives me life and motivation for future things. ♥
<< Chapter 3 || Series Masterlist || Chapter 5 >>
Elijah quickly walked into the conference room. "What do we have?" He asked as he looked over at the other officers in the room. 
He had gotten a call moments ago that he was needed down at the station asap. Without hesitating, he was there at the station in record time. All he knew was the information coming in was about Damon Salvatore. 
"We got word that Damon will be making a few calls today." One officer said, looking over at Elijah. "No doubt calling Rosa to confirm that she got the black card. "
"We've got a direct line to overhear the conversation, courtesy of Rebekah." Another officer added before handing Elijah a case file.
Elijah's eyes scanned the file. The only thing that was considered noteworthy was that Damon had already called Elena minutes before he arrived.  Closing the file, he tossed it on the nearest desk. 
"Alright, all ears in this room need to be open." He said as he addressed the room. "Whatever piece of information you think might be of use, write it down. If Damon is making this call to Rosa I want to know where she is in this city.  If I catch anyone that so much as yawns during this call, you'll have me to deal with."
A throat cleared, getting Elijah's attention. "Sir, he just made the call."
"Bring it up." Elijah said with a nod. 
The officer connected the call to the speakers in the room. The ringing played through the speakers, and it seemed as if everyone held their breath for a second. A moment later, the call connected. A distorted voice answered. 
"Are you fucking nuts, Damon?" The distorted voice asked, earning a chuckle from Damon. 
 "I take it you've picked up the kitten." His voice clear over the line. 
"Obviously. You know I don't mix business with personal affairs." The voice said, causing Elijah's eyebrow to rise.  "This is definitely crossing my line of mixing the two."
"Take note of that." Elijah said as he snapped his fingers, wanting someone to take down that as a note. If Rosa didn't entangle herself in personal affairs, there might not be a hit after all. At least Elijah was hopeful about that thought. "Rosa isn't happy with who is on the hit list." he noted. "She might actually have a heart."
"Come on, Rosa." Damon said, not missing a beat. "You know this type of kitten a lot more than anyone else. You can train it in your favor until you get it to Elena."
"You're missing the point-"
"I get the point, Rosa. I get how attached you used to be. But things changed from the last time we were all in the sandbox and I need this done."
That was enough for everyone in the room to know Rosa had known her target intimately. This hit wasn't just some random person that Damon needed to be handled. It was someone who they both knew. 
"Run a list of known associates to Damon." Elijah said, looking over at an officer. "Go far as back as you can. Including classmates. There's a connection in there somewhere."
"Don't expect me to do the works on this. I'm changing it to a drop and run."
The chuckle that came through the line from Damon was dark. "Just think of all the fun you'll have beforehand. You might hate dropping it off later but at least you'll enjoy it while you can. While dropping and running would be easier, you know you've been waiting a while for this."
"Fuck off, Damon."
"Has anyone ever found out what 'the works' meant?" Rebekah asked as she entered the room. 
"Still working on that." Elijah mumbled as he listened to the next part of the call.
"It seems I've struck a nerve."
"No shit. I've got half a mind to back out of this and return it to sender."
"But no one does it as good as you do. Come on, Rosa. You promised if I called, you'd answer. Plus it'd be a shame if I had to have a talk with V about this."
"I dare you Salvatore. It'd be an eye for an eye and there's only one of them that's currently a sitting duck. While a personal visit would be fun, I have friends in low places that would be willing to help a girl out."
"There it is." Elijah said with a small smirk. "Our list can be narrowed by anyone with a name starting with a V or even their nickname. That's where our ticket to Rosa will be."
"As much as Rosa has been a pain in my side since taking this position, I do enjoy her threats against the Salvatores." Rebekah said with a smirk pulling at her lips. "We'll need a list of anyone who has access to both Salvatore brothers."
Damon sighed. "Look, I want this taken care of, and you're the best I've got. It's a bad one to you, and I get that. But name your price, and I'd gladly pay it if you don't walk away from it. We don't need anyone else being involved."
There was a brief pause in the conversation. It was as if Rosa was debating on whether or not she wanted to do this. Both Elijah and Rebekah held their breath. They hoped it would be easier for them all if Rosa just opted out. 
"Triple the payment, upfront." The voice said a moment later. "And I'm cleared from your database."
"Done." 
"That is one hell of a payout." Elijah noted as he looked towards his sister. 
Rebekah nodded her head in agreement. "He's got enough to do just that."
"I'm serious, D. After this, I'm out. Our contract will be over and I expect you to find someone else."
"Deal. We won't discuss business at the dinner table anymore." 
Without another word from Rosa, the line went dead. 
A thought crossed Rebekah's mind as the call came to an end. "That payout is so she can completely disappear after she makes the hit."
"Looks like we'll just have to catch her before she does." Elijah said with a small smirk pulling at his lips.
_____
Adriana threw the phone across the room the moment she ended the call. She wanted nothing more than to strangle Damon for this black card. Damon knew all of her reasoning for why Adriana never wanted to mix business with personal dealings. And yet here she was. 
After seeing Elijah's name at the bottom of the tablet's screen, Adriana couldn't get herself to go to dinner. She couldn't face the girls knowing that Elijah was her intended target. She couldn't sit there and pretend that everything would be okay. That she wasn't having an internal panic attack because she was supposed to kill the only positive best friend she had. 
She hadn't even bothered to look at the complete file. The initial shock of it all forced her to shut down the tablet and put it away until now. She couldn't bring herself to look at any of the details just yet. Her heart wasn't ready for it. 
It wasn't ready to find the traces of her past inside of it. Or learn the new things Elijah had gone through while she was gone. But this was a part of the job that she usually would breeze through. And with every passing second, it was a reminder that she was about to cross a line. 
Part of her believed that she would already know a lot of the information contained in it. Even though it had been years since she last spent more than a few hours with Elijah, she still knew a lot of the details of their past.  And that alone is what made her the right person for the job, just as Damon mentioned. 
What she wasn't ready for at all were the plans Damon had forced on her. "The works" was a term that she and Damon used when Damon wanted Adriana to weasel her way into the target's life. Once she was in and they were least expecting, Adriana would make her kill. 
But this was Elijah Mikaelson. The very guy that she had known for the majority of her life. He was the one that could easily tell when there was something wrong with her. And now, she was going to have to put on a brave face if she went through with this. 
If
Now it was a matter if she could do it or not. She may have demanded triple the payment, but she didn't believe Damon would give it to her. But when Damon wanted something, he usually got it. What made it worse was Adriana never failed at her assignments. It's what made her the best on the market. 
Elijah Mikaelson was going to either break her streak or make it so she could disappear from her life as Rosa. Adriana just didn't know which one she wanted to go with yet. She knew from the moment she left home that her life as Adriana Vega was a distant memory. Her life as Rosa was about to end if she completed this job.  But it was the ghost of her past that was about to make or break everything. 
_____
"What happened at Dinner last night?" Bonnie asked as she handed Adriana a cup of coffee. 
Taking the cup, Adriana led her down the street. "I took a look at the travel arrangements after I left the bar last night." 
"And?" Bonnie asked as she walked right beside her. She brought the cup up to her lips, taking a drink. 
"I couldn't face the three of you after I found out who it was." She admitted. "This was never a life you were a part of-"
"That's bullshit." Bonnie said, cutting her off. "While we may not have known the life you were in, we were still a part of the same crowd."
Adriana's tongue clicked against the roof of her mouth. "Same crowd or not, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place when it comes to this hit. Damon crossed a line with this." Her words had barely been above a whisper. 
Bonnie sighed. "How close is this person?" 
"We were all in the sandbox together." Adriana said with a nod. "But I can't give you more than that." She shook her head. 
Bonnie nodded her head in understanding. "You obviously care for this person. I know this is going to be hard for you to take care of."
"Taking care of it is the easy part. It's getting my emotions in check that will be the hardest." Adriana's voice was emotionless as she spoke about it. 
"What happens if you don't go through with this?" Bonnie asked curiously. She probably shouldn't have asked, but she couldn't help it with how Adriana was looking at the moment. 
Adriana thought about her answer. All she could think about was Greta's voice in her mind at that moment. 
"You are not to fail." Greta said as she circled Adriana. 
Adriana stood tall as Greta took her steps around her. After all the training Greta had put her through, Adriana was the perfect killing machine. Everything Greta knew, she taught Adriana, and she made it better. 
"And if I fail?" Adriana asked the moment Greta was back in front of her. 
The woman took a few steps towards her until she was right in her face. "You may as well as turn that pistol on you before the buyer finds out. It's never pretty, Rosa. Cause once they get a hold of you, you're gonna wish you had done it yourself."
Sighing, Adriana brought the cup up to her lips and took a drink of the hot liquid. "It's either them or me. And I kind of like having the air in my lungs."
"Damon wouldn't-" Bonnie began, but Adriana stopped her. 
"This is a business." Adriana stopped in her tracks and looked over at Bonnie. "I knew what I was getting myself into the moment I left. Salvatore is no different from his father, and I've seen what is done to those who go against Damon's orders."
Adriana didn't miss the way Bonnie's eyes widened at her words. As much as Bonnie had been learning from Elena and Caroline, they were blind to what went on behind closed doors.  It is evident to Adriana that this wasn't the world Bonnie belonged in. 
"Are you going to go through with it?" Bonnie asked a moment later. 
Adriana shrugged. "We'll see how deep down the rabbit hole I go tonight."
_____
Marcel's eyes scanned the list of connections to Damon Salvatore that started with a V. The list still held a decent amount of people on it. Most of them had a record. While a part of the list was still locked away and a few others were six feet under, two names were sticking out to him the most. 
Shaking his head slightly, he sighed. The names were going to make things harder. Getting up from his seat and grabbing the paper, he headed over towards Rebekah and Elijah, who had been talking away about the case. 
"You guys might want to see this." He said as he approached them and held out the paper. 
Rebekah took the paper, and her eyes scanned the list. "Is this the known associates of Salvatore?"
"Yes." Marcel said with a nod. "Going back as far as the sandbox."
It was as her eyes landed on the same names Marcel had taken notice of that they widened. "That doesn't mean anything." 
Elijah took the list away from his sister as she spoke. He went through the list quickly, trying to figure out what they had been talking about. His heart dropped at the names. 
"We knew this." He said, shaking his head.  "Vega and Salvatore were always tied together."
"You heard Rosa, though." Marcel said, looking at Elijah. "Only one of them was a sitting duck."
"It might be time to go speak with them and see what they know." Rebekah said, placing her hand on her brother's shoulder. "Victor is the only one who is still out in the open, and he might just be the connection to Rosa we need."
Elijah sighed. "Adriana isn't going to like this."
“The Mikaelsons to come and question a Vega isn’t going to sit well with either of them.” Marcel added. 
“It might be better to give her a call as a heads up.” Rebekah said as she turned to grab her things.
Marcel grimaced. “She’ll still give us hell.”
Elijah shook his head. “Better to have before than after we get there.” He pulled his phone out and dialed her number. 
The phone rang a few times before Adriana answered. 
“Hello?”
“Adri, I hate to be the barer of bad news, but we are going to be heading over to speak with your father.” Elijah said as watched Marcel grab his things. 
“Is there a reason, Mikaelson?” Elijah hadn’t missed the venom in her words. 
“We believe he may be able to help us out in a case.” He wanted to give her as much information as possible without actually discussing the case. 
“What case? The same one you questioned Caroline for?”
“Yes.” He said with a nod, even though she couldn’t see it. “Just a couple questions. If you’d like someone to be there, we’ll wait.”
“If my father leaves in cuffs from the house after you are done asking your questions, you won’t like what comes next.”
A small smirk pulled at Elijah’s lips. “Is that a threat, Adri?”
Adriana’s chuckle came through the line before she hung up.
Always & Forever Tag:
@taylordrunkonwhiskey​ @thewolf-and-thesheep​ @wayward-dan​ @neeadinghugs​ @kenmen02​ @elizamonet​ @dora-the-grownup​ @mschellehitt​ @xanderling​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @buckysarm4​ @hi-my-name-is-riley​ @helenasingers​ @alka16555​
These Violent Delights:
@asiaaisa77​ @kpopgirlbtssvt​ @winchestert101​ @deni-gonzalez​
Stag Tag:  
@elejah-wonderland​  @xxsovereignsarayaxx​ @asiaaisa77​ @astudyoftimeywimeystuff​
The Originals Tag:
@zillahvathek​ @obsessedwithvampires​ @alien-sida
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