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cieloclercs · 7 months

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grace , send me a trope + a character and i’ll write a short drabble from it

hii, can i please request best friends to lovers with ollie?

congrats on 1k btwww 🫶🫶

call me cupid — ollie bearman

pairing. ollie bearman x best friend!reader

word count. 2.7k (i swear i tried to make it short lmao)

warnings. kind of a weird fusion of fluff and angst ??? unrequited love vibes (that’s not actually unrequited but u get what i mean), pining ollie, pining reader, arthur lowkey is the mastermind, and is also sick of said pining, abrupt ending i’m sorry 😭

author’s note. hello anon! thank you so much for your request ☺️ i hope this is ok ! i know it cuts off quite abruptly, but i’d be open to writing a part 2 with the confession if you want one <3

read below the cut

He’s staring again.

It’s becoming a problem, but can anyone really blame him? You look nothing short of angelic under the strobe lights, your shimmering dress catching his eye every time you move. You’re dancing with a girl he doesn’t recognise, that beautiful smile he adores stretched across your crimson-painted lips. It makes him wonder what she’s saying to you to make you seem so content.

Best friends shouldn’t look at each other the way he’s looking at you now. Ollie knows that. Yet on days like today, he really can’t help it. This is your party, celebrating your third Formula 2 victory in a row. He’d watched from way back in P5 as you stormed through the field, fighting off every challenge your opponents tried to throw your way. There’s a reason the fans call you the Queen of Formula 2, after all. You’re practically untouchable. All it does is heighten his awareness of his own pounding heart whenever you’re around; turn his insides to velvet when you so much as smile his way. Yes, it’s becoming a problem — and Ollie isn’t sure there’s anything he can do to stop it.

“You know, I’ve just thought of something you should try.” A voice speaks up to his left, breaking him out of whatever trance you’ve unwittingly put him under. He turns. Arthur Leclerc stands like the devil on his shoulder, arms folded, expression unimpressed. When Ollie says nothing, he goes on, “It’s called talking to her. Works wonders, really, I’d highly recommend. It’s how I met Carla.”

The younger of the two rolls his eyes. Arthur is the only other living soul on earth who knows about his infatuation with you — officially, at least. In reality, almost everyone in the Ferrari Academy has long since figured it out. Everyone except you, ironically. But Ollie supposes it makes sense; why would someone like you ever even consider him as something more than just a friend?

“Can we not do this tonight?” Ollie sighs, exasperated, “I’m just trying to forget about…all of that for a moment.”

This time it’s Arthur who rolls his eyes. Ever since he first caught on to his friend’s crush on you a little over eight months ago, he’s been trying every method under the sun to try and make him see that maybe, just maybe, he shouldn’t be so pessimistic about his chances. But the answer is always the same. Ollie remains convinced, like some poor, naïve, completely oblivious child, that you’d never so much as give him a second glance if he told you how he felt. It’s complete bullshit, of course. Arthur has seen the way your eyes search immediately for his after a race, be it a good result or even a bad one. He’s watched you brush off close friends (including him, many a time) even family members, to get to Ollie. But of course, Ollie himself doesn’t notice. No fool in love ever does.

“You’re not going to forget though, are you?” Arthur muses, glancing at his friend out of the corner of his eye, “I know you, and I know you can’t stay away from her for that long. You’ll cave eventually.” he smirks. At the sight of Ollie’s pink cheeks, he knows he’s caught him out.

“Why don’t you go annoy someone else for a change?” the Brit grumbles. There’s the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips. Arthur could pick it out even in the pitch dark.

“Don’t pretend you don’t love me.” he teases.

Within moments he’s cowered behind Carla on the other side of the room, chased away by Ollie’s (half joking) threats to crash him out of the next race on purpose if he doesn’t shut his mouth. But Arthur’s words stick with him throughout the entire night. Somehow, they always do.

In truth, Ollie's been grappling with the idea of telling you for quite a while; to put him out of his own misery more than anything else. He's sick and tired of the 'best friends' label. It seems so trivial, so reductive to say that it hurts him, when in fact, every time you refer to him as such, he’s sure you must be ripping his heart out of his chest. But then he can’t help but feel melodramatic — at least he has you, even if only as a friend. Even if you don’t love him in the way he loves you, you’re still there. Close, though perhaps not quite close enough. Ollie has decided not to take that for granted. He knows how easily it can be snatched away from him.

In the end (just as he always seems to be) Arthur is right — it’s not even an hour before he finds himself gravitating towards you; unwittingly being pulled into your orbit from which he fears, if he’s not careful, he’ll never be able to escape. You’re hovering on the edge of a group of engineers now, sipping on a glass of sparkling water out of a straw. How you can appear drop dead gorgeous yet so damn adorable at the same time, he has no idea. Ollie feels he’ll be spending the rest of his life trying to figure you and your many layers out.

“Hi, Ol.” you greet him with a smile like the sun when he finally plucks up the courage to approach. He mutters something in reply, though as soon as the words have left his mouth he’s already forgotten them — he could have said something completely unintelligible for all he knows. That’s the effect you have on him.

“Having fun?” you prompt again, your soft smile spreading into a full-blown grin. Ollie glances briefly around the room. It’s absolutely packed full of Ferrari Academy members, both drivers and personnel. Normally, this kind of event would be his worst nightmare. Even if he’s known these people for years, the idea of having to socialise and look like he’s having fun makes him feel sick. But then he remembers all this is for you. It’s to celebrate your achievements in a male dominated field, which no woman has ever managed to do before. When he reminds himself of that, all his anxiety suddenly seems to melt away.

“Of course.” Ollie grins back. His heart soars to see you light up at his words, to see you giggle behind the rim of your glass and look at him as if he’s the only person in the world. At times like this he can truly believe that maybe Arthur is right — maybe, if he confesses, his world won’t come crashing down. Maybe you’ll light it up for the better.

“What happened to you at turn one? Nic told me you dropped out of the points." you go on, eyebrows furrowing with the remnants of confusion. Ollie had begun the feature race in P2 behind you, yet you'd find that the competition you'd so anticipated disappeared not even before the first lap had ended. The Brit sighs, shaking his head.

"I collided with Jack trying to defend." he tells you with a wince, "Damaged my sidepods."

Your expression twists into one of sympathy. There's almost no coming back from that, even for a driver as talented as Ollie. Still, you think, to climb back up to P5 after sustaining damage like that is no mean feat. You don't miss the way he flushes bashfully when you tell him as such.

"It was my own fault." he mumbles, trying desperately to cool the flames in his cheeks as you watch him, eyebrows raised. He always feels like he's been put under a microscope when you look at him like this. There's no escaping the calculation in your stare, the curious scrutiny. "I took too much of a risk."

You shake your head. There's the tiniest of knowing smiles on your lips. Ollie is always so hard on himself. It's something you both admire him for, and find yourself exasperated with; he never seems to be able to see how brilliant he really is -- or at least, how brilliant he is in your eyes.

"Well, whoever was at fault, it's a real shame." you dismiss with a wave of your hand, "I miss sharing the podium with you."

Ollie is sure he must be melting. He can't figure out if it's from your words alone, or from the tiny pout that's fallen on your lips, or even the soft glint in your eyes as you gaze up at him. Suddenly the proximity between the two of you seems to have all but diminished. He chuckles nervously.

"Next race will be ours." the Brit murmurs. Little by little you inch closer to him, your hand resting on the ledge you're leaning on, just ghosting over where his own lays flat. He breathes in sharply.

"Promise?" you whisper. The point of your heel bumps against his foot. Ollie glances down at it in a panic, before his head snaps up to meet your piercing gaze. He fears that if he rocks forwards only the slightest bit on the balls of his feet, he'll be close enough for his nose to bump yours. He's never felt so consumed, so intoxicated by another person in all his life. He can smell the honey scent of your hair, feel your warm breath tickling his cheek. His gaze flickers down for the briefest of moments to your lips - soft and pink, parted as if there's something else you want to say, but the words have gotten trapped in your throat.

"I promise." Ollie croaks.

Just one more step, you think. One more step, and he'll kiss you. He's so close, closer than he's ever been before, and suddenly you can see everything falling into place: all the nights spent crying on Arthur's shoulder, wondering whether Ollie is truly just scared as your friend says he is, or whether he simply doesn't feel the same. It will all fade into a distant, long-abandoned memory. Finally, you'll be able to call him something more than just your best friend.

But then he steps away.

You flinch, taken aback at his sudden movement. Ollie stares at you, wide-eyed, breathing heavily as if he's just run a marathon. He can't believe what's just happened — can't believe he was about to kiss you. How could he be so stupid?

"I —" he stammers. The look on your face is hard to decipher: shocked, confused, hurt. If Ollie looked a bit closer, he'd be able to see the last of those emotions, or the way your shock is mixed with a horrible sinking feeling of disappointment. But, of course, he doesn't see it that way. He's stuck on the same, poisonous idea that's been plaguing his mind ever since he first figured out his feelings — you don't feel the same way.

"I'm sorry." Ollie gasps. Then, without another word, he turns on his heel and runs, leaving you stood alone, arms half outstretched as if to try and stop him. You're too late, of course. Within moments he's out of sight. Gone, just like your hope.

"Well that was a train wreck." a familiar voice speaks up from somewhere on your left. You spin around, groaning as you spot Arthur, arms folded, eyebrows furrowed in what you can only imagine is frustration.

"You don't say." you drawl bitterly, glaring down into your empty glass. Wordlessly, your friend passes you his own half-full one. You lean down to sniff at its contents, and pull away, nose scrunched in distaste — definitely not water. But you think, at this point, you're owed some kind of distraction.

"Why does he keep running away from me?" you grumble. It's been months of this cat and mouse game now. Tonight is the closest you've ever got; the first time you've seen with your own eyes that Ollie does reciprocate your feelings. Yet it feels like for that step forward, all you've gone and done is taken another two back.

"Because he's an idiot." Arthur answers plainly. The Monégasque watches as you take a gulp of his drink, pulling a face at the burn in your throat, and wordlessly reaches forwards to take the glass back from your hands. He's grateful that you don't complain.

"Well I wish he'd stop." you mutter. As much as you're willing to wait for Ollie for as long as he needs, it's painful, having to go on loving him from a distance like this. Every time you lock eyes, the longing grows more intense. You're not sure how much longer you can take it.

"You know, you're just as bad as he is." Arthur speaks up. Once again, your head snaps towards him, eyes narrowing.

"What?"

"You heard me." the Monégasque says with a sigh, "Look, I want to help you, I really do, but you could make all of this so much easier for yourself if you just tell him how you feel."

And there it is. You can’t help but let out a bitter chuckle. It sounds so simple coming from Arthur’s mouth — so easy. God knows you’ve tried, time and time again, to be honest with Ollie about your feelings, to rip off the plaster in the hopes the pain of it won’t be too great; that he might just tell you he’s been trying to say the same thing all this time. But whenever you feel as if you might be ready, the words catch in your throat. You just can’t stomach them. It’s a kind of vulnerability you’ve never shown to anyone before, let alone someone who already means so much to you. At the end of the day, you’re still young. No matter how much you love Ollie now, the chances of him being the one are low.

At least, that’s what you’ve been trying to convince yourself. But a part of you knows already — there’s no one else on earth you’ll ever feel this way about. Young or not, it’s always going to be Ollie.

“I don’t know if I can take that risk, Arth.” you say quietly, “If Ollie and I — if we’re not meant to be together…isn’t it better just to have him, even as a friend, than risk losing him entirely?”

You’re honestly not sure which is the most painful: having to pretend that you don’t love him, or the idea of one day not having him at all. Yet, you still know which one you’d choose — even if it hurts like ripping your own heart out of your chest.

“Huh.” Arthur says, eyebrows furrowing again. There’s something different in his expression this time, though. It’s less frustration, more a spark. As if he’s realised something you and Ollie may not have just yet.

“What?” you ask. Suddenly, Arthur begins to smile. You watch him disbelievingly, none the wiser as to what on earth he has to be so happy about at the present moment. Then he’s laughing, shaking his head as if in mirthful despair.

“You really are soulmates.” the Monégasque snickers, watching almost gleefully as you grow even more confused.

“What?” you ask again. Part of you begins to wonder if Arthur has lost his mind — you wouldn’t blame him after the game he’s been playing: acting as some sort of secret go-between in the middle and your and Ollie’s back and forth self-doubts. But Arthur hasn’t lost the will to live with it all just yet. In fact, he thinks he’s finally figured out how to make the both of you see sense.

“He said the exact same thing to me.”

And with that, Arthur turns on his heel, leaving you stood alone, your mind racing. All this time you’ve been trying to play the long game; trying to anticipate what Ollie is thinking, when in reality, your thoughts are practically shared. You’re both afraid. More than you ever have been in your life. But for the first time you begin to think, perhaps fear doesn’t have to be the dividing factor.

“Why do you look so pleased with yourself?” Carla Brocker asks her boyfriend as he retakes his familiar position at her side, still grinning like a child who’s just been told Christmas is coming early. Arthur says nothing, merely tilting his head in the direction of where you stand motionless. It only takes a few moments for Carla to catch on. She turns to face her boyfriend again, mouth hanging open.

“You think you’ve got through to her?” she whispers urgently.

Once again, Arthur Leclerc grins proudly.

“Just call me Cupid.”

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raining-dreams · 7 months

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Best Underrated Shows

Saving Me

Saving Me is about a lonely old guy who invents a time machine so he can go back to his child self and fix all his past mistakes. I learned about this show from this video titled Watch THIS instead of Hailey's On It by M!n!mal M!ss Art. Despite this video, I was still very excited to watch Hailey's On It. It seemed like a story with a cool premise and cute art style (and ultimately I do really like the show) But Hailey's On It wasn't gonna be out for weeks when I came across this video and this video really sold me on giving Saving Me a try. I never would have even heard of this show without that youtube video which would have been a real shame because Saving Me is fantastic! I hope this show reaches more people and I'm dying for a season 3!!!!!

House of Anubis

Mystery is my favorite genre and House of Anubis is chuck full of it. I used to be obsessed with this show back in high school. I had so much fun coming up with theories and live-blogging my thoughts and opinions about each new episode. Some of the acting & dialogue could be a little cringe sometimes but the story is just so good that it doesn't matter. I've heard that Het Huis Anubis (the Dutch version of the show that House of Anubis is based on) is even better, though I haven't gotten around to watching it yet.

Over the Garden Wall

Those of us who have seen Over the Garden Wall seem to agree that this show is amazing! Which makes it feel a little weird to call it underrated. But it seems like so few people have actually seen it. Maybe because it was a mini series, it couldn't reach the same level of popularity as other shows of similar quality. If you like Gravity Falls, you'll likely enjoy Over the Garden Wall as well. (Wirt is even voiced by the same guy who voiced Dipper!) I would highly recommend anyone that hasn't seen it already.

Dead End: Paranormal Park

I feel like it's pretty rare for animated series to exist in the horror genre for some reason. It truly is an untapped market. But if you love horror and animation, Dead End is the show for you! (Of course it's kid friendly horror since the target audience is children) The two main characters, Barney and Norma get jobs at a haunted park and work together to fight ghosts and demons. Dead End has a super cute animation style, in my opinion, and a very diverse set of characters. I encourage everyone to watch it!

Just Add Magic

Just Add Magic is based on a children's book by the same name. It's a show about three girls who love to cook and basically discover that they can use cooking to do magic. It's a pretty interesting take on how magic works in their universe. It's very fun to watch. All of the actors are also so talented! And one of those actors is Zach Callison (the voice of Steven Universe)!

The friendship between the trio is awe-inspiring! They have so much chemistry. It's a pretty fun watch.

The Last Kids On Earth

Based on a comic of the same name, this show is about a group of kids who have to survive on their own when a zombie apocalypse breaks out. And other various creatures start to threaten them (or even become their allies) It's basically a cute found family story. The premise is pretty simplistic but that's what I love about it. The animation style of The Last Kids On Earth is so beautiful as well!

I'm still waiting for a season 3!!!!!

Code Lyoko

I remember as a kid being aware of this show and thinking it looked kind of interesting (and I always loved the theme song!!) but I never ended up watching it back then because I let peer pressure get the better of me. I remember I met someone who brought up how much they loved the show. When I heard them express that interest, I was at first excited to ask them more but before I had the chance, everyone else started making fun of him for liking Code Lyoko.

I guess it was like the nerd show or something? I don't really know why it was considered cringe to like Code Lyoko but upon seeing my peers act this way, I decided I can't like Code Lyoko if I want to fit in. So, I avoided watching it. But earlier this year, when I was flipping through channels, they were showing old episodes of Code Lyoko! I was intrigued since I remembered it from childhood and thought I'd actually give it a chance this time. And it's actually a pretty good show! It can be slow at times but overall I enjoy it.

If you're like me and avoided watching this back then due to peer pressure, I highly recommend leaving that in the past and just letting yourself enjoy this show!!

Slugterra

Slugterra is honestly pretty similar to Pokemon, except it's slugs! And the entire series takes place underground. Basically, there's a whole underground world called Slugterra, home to slugs, trolls, moles, etc. And all the slugs have cool powers so the people collect & befriend slugs so they can use them as weapons ("slugslinging"). If you like Pokemon, you're sure to like Slugterra!

Detentionaire

I discovered Detentionaire randomly while I was searching through Amazon's library of cartoons. I was looking for a new show to watch and just stumbled upon this one. It looked pretty interesting and I was surprised to see it was a show from 2011. I don't know how I missed this show back then. Idk if maybe it only aired in Canada or something? (cuz it's a Canadian show) But anyways, Detentionaire is such an intriguing show where the main character, Lee, discovers some grand conspiracy and has to try to expose it to prove his innocence so he can get out of detention. It's such an interesting concept. And, as I mentioned earlier, mystery is my favor genre, so I had a lot of fun with this one.

The only problem though is, of course, it ends on a cliffhanger. The show got canceled before they had the chance to conclude the story in a satisfying way (or any type of way) so watch at your own risk.

Catscratch

I honestly don't even remember what this show was about but I do remember enjoying this show and being excited when I saw a new episode was out. I remember thinking it was so funny. I just don't think enough people know about this show.

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raaorqtpbpdy · 1 year

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More Danny Phantom fans should watch Generator Rex tbh, because it’s basically everything we wish Danny Phantom was. (Link to pirate GenRex once you’re convinced and another link to the megs file if that’s what you prefer ; )

Snarky superpowered teenage protagonist? Rex has that in spades (like Danny)

Parents experimented on him? Check (DP fans wish)

A mysterious thing that no one knows much about but it causes unexpected changes in a person? (Nanites are like ectoplasm but scarier imo)

Main character abducted and used by a terrifying government agency? Providence got their grips in him when he was like 10 (they actually caught theirs, take that Guys in White!)

Smart but a little crazy older sibling character? Meet Cesar (our chaotic neutral Jazz)

Scary and powerful mentor figure with a hidden soft side? That’s Six (and he’s actually a regularly recurring mentor unlike *select ghost you wish was Danny’s mentor*)

Main character is part of a highly discriminated against group which is generally not considered human? Here we call them Evos (they’re like ghosts except death would be preferable)

Main character specifically and almost exclusively fights his own kind? Yeah, and Rex can actually cure them instead of just sending them away for two episodes.

Arch nemesis with similar powers to the hero? Van Kleiss walks in, blood-red flowers blooming in his footsteps. (Vlad could never)

We’re initially led to believe the hero is the only good guy in the discriminated against group until it’s revealed that that’s not the case at all.

Plus, there’s kind of a lot of body horror. There’s betrayal. There’s peril. There’s sympathetic villains. Theres a deeply terrifying and yet incredibly intriguing world. A crossover with another series about superheroes (Ben 10, though, not DC). There’s a pile of dead bodies on screen in the first episode—that’s not even hyperbole I’m being 100% literal with you right now.

It even has some inter-dimensional travel shenanigans including a town being pulled into a pocket dimension and leaving no trace. No cloning as far as I can remember though, but it does have a giant mutant rabbit, and the main character even sucks at basketball!

As an added bonus, it was targeted to 10-13 year olds and eventually taken off the air because it scared children : )

It’s everything your average Danny Phantom fan spends hours reading fanfiction about! I’m telling you! I cannot recommend this show highly enough!

#danny phantom #dp #generator rex #genrex #show recommendations #yo ho ho

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rotdistressxox · 8 days

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DARLINGGGGG GUESS WHOS BACK FROM THE PYSCHE WARD!!

im currently brainrotting over agito as you can see..can you write how you think he would meet reader and how their relationship would develop into romance with him? like actually i sat at work for like 15 minutes trying to think how but i actually cannot cook anything up.

(Also I'm seeing the ghost stuff and I'm interested...gonna have to do research for dis one☝️)

sorry if i keep sending you silly asks😞

—🪡 anon

JOIN US WE HAVE SEXY POPES WHO DOUBLE AS FRONTMEN AND FREAKY GHOULS. Listen to them, I highly recommend listening to the meliora and prequelle album before delving any deeper. Watch some YouTube videos abt the lore. PLUS THEY HAVE LITTLE EPISODES <3

Time for some more Cakemaster 9000

Phew, this took a while

Kanoh Agito: How does he fall for you?

• Like what I mentioned in one of the headcanons, you work for Katahara. While Agito doesn't directly work for him apart from beint his representative fighter, he's technically his family AND The Fang.

• However, you two hardly see eachother when on the job. BUT-

• You two visit the same coffee shop. He loves his morning Latte, and you love (insert your favorite Cafe drink here)

• When you first started working, you were surprised to see the Kanoh Agito at a small coffee shop.

• He usually greets and addresses you formally, not interested in any small talk.

• "Sheesh, what a stick in the mud" It's not that he was trying to be rude, but he did come off a little condescending when he greeted you. (He has tone issues)

• One day you woke up late and didn't have time to stop and get your usual.

• He notices your absence. "They can't be sick, they showed no signs of it two days ago"

• Long story short, he picks up your order and goes looking for you. Once he finds you, he stiffly hands it to you. "You were late I presume. I picked this up for you"

• Everyone in the room was shocked. The cold hearted Fang buying someone a drink? You smiled warmly and looked into his eyes "Thank you, this was very kind of you"

• His breathing hitched, and he felt speechless. Was he....flustered? "Don't let it happen again, you work for the Chairman afterall"

• You obviously didn't let it happen again....buuuttt it was super sweet how he seemed to care about you enough to get you something.

• To return the favor, you arrived earlier and got him his Latte. Listen, he was speechless before, now he was in shock. He didn't show it though. In his lifetime no one had ever bought him anything or returned a favor. There was a first time for everything.

• You saw through his attempt to hide the baffled expression on his face. It was kinda- cute.

• "Why have you done this?" "Why not? I'm just repaying you" "I-" "Shush, just take the drink, it's burning my hand"

• He has to get there before you now to ensure that he sees you. He's a bit friendlier with the greetings, too. Don't expect a smile though, just a softer glance in your direction.

• When he was around you, he didn't feel like he needed to be The Fang of Metsudo. You didn't hold him to any higher standard when you chatted, you didn't bother holding back a few curses. He felt as if his soul was on Earth instead of hanging in the balance.

• On one of your off days, the two of you get coffee and sit down for once. Finally having a slower paced discussion. It lasted a few hours, you did most of the talking while he had a response to almost anything. There was a lot he didn't know about pop culture.

• Coffee dates became your thing, even though it wasn't technically a date. More like two friends hanging out. Discussions got into deeper topics like pasts and whatnot.

• Agito decided that he could trust you, so he opened up about the Human Gu Ritual. He didn't know what trauma was, so you explained to him that his feelings and memories about that time in his life would be very traumatic.

• "I'm glad you could tell me that, but are you okay? If I had something like that on my chest I'd cry" "I'm quite alright, I'm not fazed in the slightest but I had no idea the caliber of the topic. I hope I didn't ruin the conversation"

• You tapped your cheek and sighed. "Have you ever been hugged before?" Agito thought for a second. The embracing gesture? The only physical contact he's hand was a pat on the shoulder or when he's fighting.

• "No, I don't think I have" "Well today's your lucky day, bring it in"

• He froze as you wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him into you. His heartbeat raced as he thought of what to do. "Just tell me if you don't like it" you squeezed him gently. He awkwardly put his hand behind your back and rested it there.

• You let go after a few seconds, but he didn't want you to. "How was it?" You smiled.

• "I'm not sure" He smoothed out his suit, trying to relax himself after what just happened.

• A few days passed and you haven't seen him anywhere. He wasn't at work or at the coffee shop. You start to worry. Did you drive him away? Was the hug too much? Oh god was he dead?

• All the while Agito was keeping an eye on you from afar. Not letting you see him, but he could see you. He felt very fragile after that day, he almost felt ashamed. He wasn't good at managing his emotions. And what happened moved him in a way that frightened him.

• He summons the courage to talk to Katahara Metsudo about how he felt. He was the only parental figure he had in a sense.

• "You are a grown man. Is this really a difficult concept to grasp?" Katahara looked out the window of his office. "I'm inexperienced, these feelings are foreign to me"

• 'He's not referring to himself as we and us anymore, this must be serious' Katahara turned around. "To put it simply" he laughed "Tell (Reader) everything you told me"

• "I have a strong regard for you" Agito came clean. You know how I said there was a first time for everything? Well he had a hint of red on his cheeks. This beast of a man, blushing? Utterly adorable

• "So you're saying you love me?" That's the word. Love. He nodded. "Well. Say it then. There's nothing holding you back"

• He pauses for a moment, he's not exactly fond of eye contact. But this was for (Reader)

• "I love you"

• You wrap your arms around his waist again. "That's all I needed to hear"

• His lips curled into a smile as he looked down at you. You parted from the hug and tilted your head to the side. "Wanna go out to a restaurant sometime?"

• "Are you asking me out on...what is it that they call it...a date?" "Yes" you stated bluntly. Beating around the bush or teasing wouldn't get far in this situation.

• "We can talk about plans later, I have important matters to attend to" he look your hand and grazed his lips on you knuckles. Planting a small kiss on it.

• "Now where did you learn that?" "It's a romantic gesture they do on television" you bite your lip from calling him a dork.

• "I'll meet with you later about this date. Until we see eachother again" He leaves, and you're alone again.

• Man, you're already falling for him. It's not like you'd hate dating him. But you didn't want to be head over heels just yet. You looked at your knuckles and sighed "Ah what the hell, being love isn't that bad"

#kengan ashura #kengan omega #kenganverse #kengan ashura x reader #kanoh agito #agito kanoh #kanoh agito x reader

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absolutebl · 6 months

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BL recs (from any country) that don't have any s*x scenes? I'm too ace to enjoy them at all. Happy ending preferred, angst v welcome:)

BLs Without Sex Scenes

Oof, this is a hard one. Is a dead fish kiss okay? I do have a heat sorting on the spreadsheet of doom, and there are some with no kissing at all, but a dead fish kiss is in most of the HEA ones.

BLs with No Kisses

21 Days Theory (Thailand, YouTube) - the only thing I didn't like about this pulp was the fact that they don't kiss, so... yeah, this is my first pick for you. Very YA first love angsty, fantastic queer rep and side characters. RECOMMENDED

My Esports Genius Brother (China, Gaga?) - it's hella odd censored bromance but enjoyable. No real angst tho.

HIStory My Hero (Taiwan, Viki) - basically a BL with no sex or kissing, but also body-swap so is it BL? I can't remember the end but I think it's happy?

Silhouette of Your Voice AKA Hidamari ga Kikoeru (Japan, ????) - this 2017 yaoi adaptation is a full on BL just no kissing at all. The source manga (I Hear the Sunspot) is a favorite of mine and the casting was decent. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED for you (but not in general). Grey only.

Love of Siam (Thailand, ????) ALL THE ANGST, I'm pretty sure the most they do is hug, I could be v wrong though because too sad for me to ever rewatch. Very formative to the Thai BL industry.

The Lover (BL cut) (Korea ????) sometimes you can find the BL cut on YT, it has slapstick comedic sexualized moments that are maybe a little homophobic (or something), no actual sex or kissing, but no angst at all. (Korea's working some shizz out with this early offering.)

Kabe Koji AKA Kabesaa Doujin Sakka no Neko Yashiki-kun wa Shounin Yokkyuu wo Kojirasete iru (Japan, Viki) - I watched this and I was excited about it before it aired, but I seem to have expunged it from my memory and kept no screen caps in annoyance, so that's all I got.

Love in Spring AKA Spring of Crush (Korea, ????) - a crossdressing historical that flew utterly under the radar. I decided it just wasn't really BL, but it has BL aspects and it's kinda a little queer... or something. Grey only.

Evening Cafe (Thai pulp, YouTube) - No heat and no kisses, but a decent lead pair, about a boy who works in a cafe and the new employee who has a crush on him. That’s it, that's the whole story.

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea, Viki) - Has no kissing and many people found it really good as @isisanna-blog reminded me, thank you). It certainly has ALL THE ANGST. (I did not like it at all, but I'm a terrible judge of this kind of BL.)

What Did You Eat Yesterday? (Japan ???) - this is such a lovely show, very warm and comforting and slice of life. There is very little angst, they too old for that shit, but little to no sexual content either. It's very warm and loving. A safe extremely yet queer show - and oh boy do we not get many of those. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Censored Bromances

So No Kisses (TM) for the gays but the hets might do stuff I didn't pay attention to. All these from China. Some happy, most not.

The Untamed

Word of Honor

Guardian

SCI Mysteries

Stay With Me AKA Addicted 2.0 (I never watched this so there may be rough play)

Mr CEO Falling in Love With Me

The Fairy Fox

Youth in the Breeze

Precise Shot

Advance Bravely

His Cat AKA His Cat Boyfriend

The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao

The "Ghost Boyfriend" series

Past Youth

I Go To School Not By Bus (Hong Kong short)

Recommended Shorts with no kisses, but cute & fun

The 8.2 Second Rule (Japan YouTube)

One Last Order (Korea, Gaga)

Love Advisor (Thailand, YouTube)

BLs with Dead Fish Kisses (maybe? only one, if any)

His the series: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love (Japan ????) - (NOT His the movie) this one has all the angst you could want in your whole life. ALL OF IT. Japan wins at emo, it's their THING.

Cherry Magic AKA 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii AKA Cheri Maho (Japan ????) - there's sort of some bed tussling and implied sex but you could imagine them just being snuggles for the mains, the sides have dead fish kiss. In general there's some angst but not much. It's fluffy and great. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

Bonus: overt ace representation for one of the side characters.

Meow Ears Up (Thailand Viki) - sides may kiss? I enjoyed this pulp especially at the start, the premise is fun. I think my biggest complaint was lack of kissing.

My Love Mix Up AKA Kieta Hatsukoi (Japan Viki), a case could be made for a demi seme in this BL. So much frenetic angst around bisexual identity crisis. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

My Ride (Thailand Gaga) - my favorite Thai BL pulp the sides have a good kiss and the mains do kiss but it's v dead fish, not at all sexual, and it comes at the very end. Otherwise extremely chaste, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this BL, queer and complex and engaging.

I Want to See Only You AKA Kimi no Koto Dake Mite Itai (Japan ????) - This is a beautiful piece of cinema well acted, about two boys who are opposite personalities and grew up together. The only kiss is the one pictured above, v dead fish. Full review here.

Nobleman Ryu's Wedding (Korea WeTV) - 12th Night goes BL in this cross dressing historical that ended up feeling like a Cinderfella fairy tale, lightly dramatic and utterly charming. Full review. There is one dead fishy kiss at the end but it's otherwise aggressively pure.

If you like this last style of KBL (with a kiss at the end being okay, I have quite a few more to recommend). Until 2022, most KBLs only had one dead fish kiss in them, so you are pretty safe with pre 2022 KBLs. They tend to be quite chaste and de-sexualized. Other good examples: Wish You, Light on Me.

That's all folx.

Some of the above I may be misremembering (since I don't rewatch this kind of BL and my memory is shit). And I may have forgotten some too, so I hope comments with jump in.

Others to consider:

(source)

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mactavsh · 1 year

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Follow the Bird [John “Soap” MacTavish x Reader] Part One

It wasn't unusual for a mission to go sideways, hell you'd grown to expect it at times. Going into an op alone was dangerous, but you knew the boys had your back. Soap would fight his way to you no matter the cost.

Warnings: violence, swearing, mentions of blood/injuries

also on a03.

I like to imagine Soap is the suavest guy ever until it's someone he's actually interested in. Then he's completely clueless.

This is my first reader insert so please let me know what you think! The callsign Bird was inspired by "Underground" by uselsshuman on tumblr. Highly recommend their work!

Chapter One - Emerald

Price had called you Ghost and Soap in for a meeting. Task Force 141 had been trying to track down Makarov for months, hitting dead ends at every turn. Something in your gut told you this time was different. Either Price was being cautious calling in just the three of his most trusted or you were overthinking things. Either way, it was better than sitting on base and waiting.

As you walked to the conference room you ran into Soap. You smiled seeing him and he did the same when he saw you. The two of you had always been close. Working some missions together early in your careers before both being recruited by Captain Price for the 141. As partners, you were a force to be reckoned with. Working as one you made quick work of any obstacle thrown your way. Add Ghost into the mix? The three of you were unstoppable. Other men often referred to your team and Bird and the Boys. The moniker “my boys” was something you loved to use with them and neither argued. Ghost was the brother you never had and Soap, well, Soap was something more you couldn’t quite put into words. The lingering glances always made you wonder if he felt the same way but in your line of work you tried not to entertain those thoughts.

“Think we’re going to get something solid this time?” He asked as you both matched paces, shoulders touching briefly.

“No idea. I am curious about the skeleton crew though. Why just us?”

“We’re the best, obviously.” Soap smirked and you lightly elbowed him in the side. You both approached the room and Soap opened the door for you. “After you, Birdy.”

You smiled and walked inside. Bird was your official call sign and the only people allowed to call you Birdy were in this room. Though that honor was mostly reserved for Soap. He, after all, coined the nickname.

“Soap, Bird, glad you both made it.” Price spoke from the head of the table gesturing for the two of you to sit. Ghost was already there, Soap sat next to him smacking him lightly on the shoulder as he did. Ghost rolled his eyes at the Sergeant. Watching the two act like annoying siblings always warmed your heart. You smiled and sat next to Soap. Once everyone settled, The Captain began.

“You three are headed to Russia. We got intel that says one of Makarov's top advisors, Igor Kuznetsov, is attending a gala in St. Petersburg.” He sets a photo down on the table as he speaks, an older heavy-set man sporting a large white beard. “Naturally our normal tactics won’t quite work here. Lucky for us I know someone with spy experience who is fluent in Russian.”

All eyes turned to you. “You want me to, what, get all dressed up and kidnap a man?” You questioned.

Price laughed. “Not quite. According to our intel, he carries around a flash drive at all times. Supposedly it contains privileged information. I’d like to know what that might be. Y/n will go inside, Soap and Ghost you’ll be positioned on opposite rooftops as backup.” Price laid building schematics on the table, pointing to a large room he continued. “The reception hall is surrounded by windows; a sniper's best friend. You both will keep an eye on Bird as she secures the drive. Igor doesn't often bring a lot of men to these events so you shouldn’t meet much resistance. He also loves getting drunk at these parties. A little sleight of hand and you’re home in time for supper”

You nod and look to your right, Soap has a look in his eyes you can’t quite place. “She’s going in alone?” He asked. Price nodded.

“She’s more than qualified. Two of the best snipers I know will be watching her the entire time. Plus do you know how many weapons she’ll be able to hide under a dress?” The Captain smirked. “Your plane leaves at 0400. Any questions?”

“No sir.” Came the chorus of replies.

“Good. Watch out for each other. Dismissed.”

—

The flight to Russia was uneventful. You caught up on some sleep before the pilot informed you all that he was beginning his descent. Soap was sitting across from you, you notice him staring before he quickly diverted his gaze. Ghost was next to you and must've noticed as well.

“Think he’s worried about ya.” Ghost spoke so only you could hear. “I don’t love it either but Price is right, you're more than qualified.”

You smiled at the compliment. “Thank you, Ghost. He was right about another thing, I have two of the best snipers to keep an eye on me.” Ghost winked in response.

The plane landed and the three of you headed toward the awaiting car. Soap drove the three of you to the safe house to go over the plan one more time and wait until night.

When it came closer to go time you stepped out of the room to don your dress. It was a simple yet elegant gown. Silky emerald green fabric covered you with an asymmetrical neckline over your right shoulder, a belted waistline, and floor length skirt. You didn’t often find yourself in situations where you were able to dress up but you allowed yourself a moment to enjoy it.

Snapping back to reality you started strapping on various holsters. Price was certainly right, you can hide many weapons under a dress. You finished by hiding a live mic under the fabric on your shoulder. Wearing an earpiece would be too obvious so you settled, this way the boys will be able to hear everything going on. You threw your hair up into an elegant bun and went out to meet them.

They were both at the table checking weapons when you walked in, Soap was the first to notice. He looked at you completely entranced, Ghost noticed and followed his gaze. The taller man smacked him on the back of the head. “You look lovely, Birdy.”

Soap snapped back to reality. "Stunning," was all he could blurt out.

You blushed ever so slightly at the compliments. "Thank you, boys. Ready to roll?"

"Absolutely." Ghost replied, grabbing his gear as he followed you toward the door. He opened the door for you and waited until you were outside to yell back at Soap, who was once again frozen in place. "Are you coming or are you going to stand there all night drooling?"

Soap tensed, quickly grabbing his gear and heading outside. "Fuck off, Lt."

Ghost smirked under the mask and closed the door behind him.

—

"I've got eyes on target." You spoke discreetly as you sipped champagne. It wasn't hard to find Igor in the crowd. The only problem was he had a bigger entourage than expected. Lucky for you they weren't armed guards, just businessmen blowing smoke up each other's asses. Typical. You thought as you made your way over.

You walked right past the man, head held high, sipping champagne. That was all it took, he shooed away the men near him and followed you.

"[Excuse me miss.]" He spoke in Russian, stepping in front of you. For how heavy-set he looked he was surprisingly fast.

You put on your best smile while handing your empty glass to a nearby waiter. Act the part. "[What can I do for you?]"

"[No miss it's what I can do for you.]" He reached out, grabbed your hand, and kissed it. You fought the urge to vomit.

Act the part. You reminded yourself. You stepped forward placing a hand on his shoulder. "[So polite, what did I do to deserve such attention? ]" You smiled trying your best to flirt despite wanting desperately to just punch the man, grab the drive and run.

"[That's a wonderful question, little Bird.]" Your stomach dropped, you've been made. "I don't much like people crashing my parties." He spoke in broken English. The lights went out briefly then back on revealing the other party guests to have been soldiers, now ready to fight. This whole thing was a trap. You allowed yourself only a moment of worry for Soap and Ghost before refocusing on the army in front of you. After all, they were much safer than you were at the moment.

Quickly you punched Igor. Stunning the Russian long enough for you to reach your hand into his coat pocket, grabbing the drive. You turned to run only to see you’ve been surrounded. You stashed the drive in your bra and grabbed one of the knives you stashed.

It wasn't unusual for a mission to go sideways, hell you’d grown to expect it. You were quick on your feet ready to fight your way out. Just as you were about to attack the room was locked down, and metal began to roll down covering each window. Before they fully closed shots rang out, and half of the men fell dead on either side of you. A moment of relief washed over you knowing they were both okay. Thank you boys now it's my turn.

You flipped the knife in your hand and stabbed the man trying to attack you from behind. You turned, pulling your pistol out and shooting three of the men closest to you. The soldiers had a similar idea, a few pulling their pistols out as well. You ran toward cover but not quickly enough. Pain seared through your left shoulder as a bullet ripped through the muscle.

“[Get her!]” Igor yelled at his men as you ducked behind an overturned table. Realizing the odds were not in your favor you pulled out the drive and stashed it underneath a floorboard, scratching a faint symbol into the wood with your pocket knife. Just enough for someone who knows what they’re looking for.

They all surrounded you once again. You shot a few before you ran out of bullets. Pulling out another knife you lunged at the one nearest but you were quickly overwhelmed. One shot you in the thigh knocking you down and you dropped your knife in the process. You reached out for it on the ground only to have one of the soldiers stomp his boot on your wrist. You concealed a wince as Igor approached.

“I told Makarov this was a good plan.” He gave a crooked smile before he signaled to one of his men. The soldier quickly brought down the butt of his rifle to your temple and everything went dark.

part two here

#john soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish x you #johnny mactavish x reader #johnny mactavish x you #soap mactavish x reader #soap mactavish x you #mactavsh

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liquidstar · 7 months

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do u have any recs for folks newer to the yuri genre? I've never really read any manga other than shounen and some magical girl stuff

Omg i can totally give yuri recs. (And which ones to stay away from. Sakura Kiss has cousin shit in it, Citrus has stepsister dubcon, Dragon Maid has lolicon, Happy Sugar Life is also lolicon but it’s edgy about it and tries to act like this makes it deep, we can do better)

Anyway here’s my actual recs! I'm going to give details but if you don't wanna read them I bolded all the titles.

YuriKuma Arashi (By Ikuhara of Revolutionary Girl Utena fame), is about lesbian bears. But it’s actually a metaphor for the simultaneous objectification and demonization of lesbians, the expectation both for purity and predation. There are some nitpicks I have with it like the sexualization being a bit too much to bring the point home, but overall I do like its themes and its message. And I think the ending pulls everything together really nicely. There is both a manga and an anime, and I believe the anime came first. I’ve only seen the anime so I’m not sure if/how the manga deviates!!!!

Bloom Into You is an absolute must. Like, for real, I think it’s one of the best romances out there, yuri or otherwise. It gets really deep into both characters' respective psyches and the ways that they’re both Very Screwed Up when it comes to love and romance, or really just life in general. Giving details would be doing them a disservice honestly. Both characters are very messy but also do try their best to genuinely communicate, and what comes of that is a lot of teenage lesbian drama, but the growth they both experience though it TOGETHER is just great, and you can tell they care about each other so much.

Okay this one I’m not really recommending for the good writing, it’s more-so just really cool. Liberta (EXPLICIT) is a series about a vampire who can turn her body into guns and a human woman who is sick of being seen as lesser in her ordinary life. And then they fall in love and are vampires together. The artstyle and character designs are awesome and it has some really cool fight scenes. However it also has full blown barely censored sex scenes. A few of them. One of the women uses her tail at some point. If that’s not what your cup of tea is, give it a pass.

Anyway for something more wholesome you should check out The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All, which I’m actually not fully caught up on bc life, but has still been a super fun read so far. It’s about a girl who works at a music store, and her classmate who gets a crush on her while she’s at work. The classmate doesn’t realize that they’re the same person, due to her looking different at work, and thinks her worksona is a guy. Hijinks ensue.

Otherside Picnic is also highly recommended. Its manga adaptation is lagging behind the light novel, which I can’t find a translation of online (But if anyone can help me out w that 🙏). The story itself is about two college students who go on adventures to a parallel plane of reality, which contains cosmic horrors who can only communicate with humans through fear so intense it will make you go insane. They’re also looking for someone who went missing, and gain cool powers like Ghost Hand and Sans Eye. Yes this is still a yuri series and it’s also really really extremely fucking cool.

She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat, is a slice of life story about… Well exactly what it says. A woman with a passion for cooking, making lots of food and sharing it with her neighbor, and they end up bonding through this. It’s also like, cool to see a big butch woman for a change! The story itself is very straightforward but I love watching the relationship progress as well as the mc question her sexuality. This story will absolutely make you super hungry though.

Show Me Your Bust (EXPLICIT) is also exactly what it says on the tin, though it’s technically a webtoon. Again this is a series with explicit sex scenes, but it actually does have a story and actual depth to its characters. Honestly there’s a lot to unpack with all of them and a lot of the relationships aren’t totally healthy but it’s a drama so that’s the point.

A Monster Wants To Eat Me is actually hard to describe without spoilers. It’s about a girl who lives by the sea, meeting a mysterious girl with eyes that remind her of the ocean itself. The girl says that she’s actually been looking for the mc for a long time, and it’s revealed that….

And lastly I wanna mention Hanamonogatari, a story about an old widow who begins to regain confidence in herself as she experiments with make-up with the help of another old lady who works at a local cosmetic store. Honestly it’s very very very sweet, it’s rare to get romances like this of old women when so much of the focus of romances (yuri or otherwise) is often on the characters being attractive. I also really appreciate how the make-up is being used specifically to accentuate their wrinkles. Not hide them. Because aging is beautiful too. Sadly IVE ONLY READ TWO CHAPTERS BECAUSE I DONT THINK THE REST ARE TRANSLATED IF ANYONE OUT THERE CAN HELP ME PLEASE DO 🙏

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azquine · 7 months

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This may be for too niche of an audience, but fuck it, I'm reaching the fixated audience of me.

The captain from BBC Ghosts and Abed Nadir from community share quite a few similarities, at least from the way I read them.

They both hyperfixate, and their broad hyperfixation shapes the very way they view reality.

For the captain every interaction is a battle he has to strategize through in order to succeed. People are divided into allies and enemies, ranked into inferiors and superiors. Everything is war to him.

And to Abed the world is a show, every event a plotpoint with tropes he can either embrace or subvert. Their sequence he can break down into genre and predict. Every person is a character with a role, with consistent traits and desires he can navigate.

It is through these lenses that they try to control others sometimes, and are occasionally controlled in turn. Though honestly, when he tries Abed is more effective in this regard. Think about the American poultry episode, the captain could never. The captain attempts to pull rank and order more than he manipulates. That's more Julian's thing. Whereas Abed isn't trying to be the leader, he knows he isn't the main character, but he does want to lead the story where he thinks it would be best

They are both outwardly stoic seeming. If you look at them as a stranger all you will see is a straight face and blunt words. But if you pay any attention to how they actually act, you can see that they actually feel things very deeply. They care a lot. Their way of expressing themselves just isn't the exact same way as everyone else. But if you know what to look for it is not subtle in the least. Every little action is practically dripping with their thoughts and feelings. The way they position their head, the way they fiddle with things in their hands, their habits are visible and consistent. If anyone so wished they could make a list of each one and what they mean. So what if they don't laugh or smile the same way that other people do, if when they try to do it normally to fit in it is a little 'off'. If sometimes people call them emotionless. If sometimes they think that of themselves. They aren't.

This is most visible when they get to interact with their fixation, or when that fixation is taken away from them. Their joy, or upset, is practically palpable. You can see them visibly brighten up when the opportunity to share or interact with the thing they enjoy arises.

And then there is the abandonment that fundamentally changes them. Havers and Troy. Both gone to another place far away, leaving The Captain to stare at an open gate and Abed at an empty chair. The person most important to them, who bothered to understand them more than anyone else ever did, ends up leaving them behind. And it hurts them. A lot. It's one of the last things they speak about with the other characters and audience before their show ends.

For the comfort of hetronormative society they appear as a friend or a working partner to them. Though there is clear subtext that there was something more underneath. That they wanted something more. Even though it was not something they openly spoke of.

They are also both just kind of silly. This is completely unintentional on the captain's part, who would prefer to appear perfectly serious and professional. Abed however does not really give a shit how others see his activities and interests. They just get so into everything they do that it quickly veers into ridiculousness, focused on their task long after everyone else gives it up.

I don't know, I didn't really have any point to this post other than to talk about my current favourite two queer autistic characters. I would highly recommend that if you like Ghosts and the Captain, or Community and Abed, that you also watch the other show. Both will make you laugh and also kick you squarely in the sternum. And if any of you have any thoughts please let me know, I am dying to talk about these things.

#ramble #bbc ghosts #the captain bbc ghosts #the captain #community tv #nbc community #abed nadir

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mejomonster · 9 months

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Mysterious Lotus Casebook, ep 2:

So I really like Joseph zengs character. He gets better at acting each show i see him in. I love Fangs personality

Fang really did follow this doctor to his tiny mobile house and said You're Having me at Dinner, I brought drinks, work with me, drink with me whether you like it or not, my shifu is like xianyu and my uncle was the guy he died for (that lianhua is relentlessly still searching for the body of). ;-;

Fang also said your cooking sucks, my case here was kept private so fuck you help me More, also I can't actually pay Even though I'm used to being a rich bitch, I hero worshipped li xianyu, I saved your life TWICE DUDE do what I say (you can tell he's used to getting his little way uvu), and "I ran from an arranged marriage I'm not made for politics feel bad for me, i was made to bring justice to the world and make a name for myself~" and li lianhua hit him back with the "-.- I couldn't give a shit about your sob story or anyone's, I'm not looking to be heroic I'm just trying to mind my business dude."

He saved li lianhua twice that's so fucking funny to me. So like, I had a running count once of How Many Times wu xie swooned in dmbj dramas (lmao you can guess how BIG that list got) and how many times xiaoge saved him (if you guess once per episode that's probably the rough average). So it is. Particularly funny to me that wu xies actor is now the guy chronically saving another damsel. I hope fang saves li lianhua at least once per episode! Fuck it, I love twice per episode why not continue that! I want li lianhua falling in his arms repeatedly, nonstop, to the point its expected. I would very much enjoy that trope (and letting Joseph zengs character get to be the savior in said trope more uvu)

It's also funny cause wu xie was a prickly kitten of a damsel in distress. Whereas li lianhua is adamantly acting like he was NEVER about to die in the first place. There's mm... there's probably character details in there... something to be said about li lianhua not afraid of dying, or emotionally heavy enough he wouldn't mind getting to after 10 years of not dying from a poison when he Should Have and a mortal wound when he Should Have. Idk about other people, but when I got really chronically sick and I was in the ER almost dying a lot for months. Mm. It got to a point where I was like why can't my body just hit me all at once and let me live or die like when I got appendicitis, why does it have to be hurting me slowly and I just have to bear it and it's slow enough I have to get up and fight it every day and it may never end. And it's like I dunno, I see in li lianhua the ghosts of those kind of feelings. Maybe. We'll see I guess if it gets that emotionally heavy. Back to the point though, I find his character interesting and different than sifeng (which again I really appreciate lol)

I just. I love Joseph zengs character in this

I like the episode structures so far??? It feels like 2 parters, which helps to break up watching. And it seems it cheapened out on wasting time on some scenes in order to spend more time on case plots, which I think is a good choice

My gay rating? Not as gay (yet) as Word of Honor or Lord Critical World. Though reminding me of both shows. (Lord Critical World is WILD BTW and full of dmbj actors so I highly recommend it for a Weird Time). It is however striking me as having the potential to have as shippy vibes (at minimum) as Ultimate Note. Which I mean. I'm optimistic I guess?

Anyone else beyond refreshed to see a real dog instead of a cgi animal in one of these shows?

I'm curious how closely this follows the novel. Because I'm quite liking the show. If the novel is Just as good or better, I'll definitely be checking out the novel.

I am l...doubting it's intentional, but li lianhua's whole Setup feels VERY modern ordinary man, despite the wuxia setting and him being The Best Heroic Swordsman ever 10 years prior (and the Miracle Medicine Man/smart liar now). Despite the very belonging to this genre Character Setup, cheng yi plays him like a modern ordinary 35 year old, and a lot of character Details just strike as. Very relatable. Having a dog you share dinner with, living in a small mobile home (ultimately), having your own little garden (and budget being tight), trying to learn how to cook because you have to make good food for Yourself, lying to protect yourself in a shady environment (rather than playing Brazen Hero who picks a fight like one expects in this kind of shows hero type), been sick a long time and in no way in their prime anymore (even though he's relatable to me thats also lol just generally relatable to anyone who's aged and realized they can't be The Best at sports anymore or something), focused on people he loves now and being roughly fair instead of Saving the World (a very relatable goal and one I feel like a lot of people gravitate toward as they age: you don't always keep believing you personally will be a superstar or billionaire or save the planet on your own, and while it's awesome if you still do, you also start realizing you're satisfied to also just make sure your loved ones are supported and your local neighborhood has a food pantry you support and you get invested in what you can do today right now everyday to help in little ways).

#mysterious lotus casebook #lb #warning i get a little enotionally heavy just roll along past it lol #but summary: 2nd episode was as strong as yall promised!

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girlcalledwhatsername · 2 years

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Bollywood Films Based on Shakespeare's Plays

(that I can think of off the top of my head)

((because I'm bored and procrastinating))

(((also my thoughts)))

1) Maqbool (2003) - based on Macbeth

Possibly the best adaptation I've watched of anything in general. The translation into a different culture plus a modern time is seamless. Newer technology is incorporated into the plot devices, prophecies rewritten to be appropriate to the culture and context plus the "witches" are easily believably a part of the story instead of some highly mystical supernatural forces. The kingdom at stake this time is the underworld that was quite active and famously involved with Bollywood itself at the time, brilliant actors in all the roles, and the whole 'Lady Macbeth's children' thing is also leaned into quite well. 10/10 would recommend.

2) Omkara (2006) - based on Othello

From the same direction, Vishal Bhardwaj. Another amazing adaptation, a lot of the foreshadowing and metaphors are expressed through songs, a staple move for Bollywood so it also adapts well into its medium. Banger performance by Saif Ali Khan as Langda Tyagi (Iago). The ending is changed a wee bit as well, but it's highly significant in how it re-attributes agency that has been taken away from female characters in the original texts quite often. In this adaptation the matters revolve around a local election and the politics at play in the village. The cultural setting is made use of here as well characters are given well rounded personalities and motives that gives a new life to the play honestly. 10/10 because I'm such an easy person to please, I genuinely enjoyed this film.

3) Haider (2014) - based on Hamlet

Another one from Bharadwaj, I swear I'll move on to other stuff after this. "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark" - I think one of the most important aspect of this adaptation was choosing a setting where the city can be its own character the way Denmark is in the original. In this case, the setting is Kashmir, a valley that has had a bloody and contentious existence. Politically, it is a coveted piece of land where India and Pakistan have both laid their claims. This has led to continuous exploitation, army rule through a special act that allows civil liberties to be done away with and all mistreatment swept under a rug, and Kashmir becoming a battleground where the residents bear the brunt of these political battles. The issue of Kashmir is quite complex, that doesn't even begin to cover it, I will leave that alone for now. Haider is a resident of this valley and his father, a doctor, went missing with no news of him whatsoever. Instead of the ghost of his father he is visited by his father's cell mate, nicknamed Rooh (Spirit) who guides him on how to uncover this plot of people going missing with no news. The film follows the oppression in Kashmir through the lens of Haider while he slowly descends into madness. Ophelia (Arshia) is a journalist, and the play-within-a-play is conducted making use of local theatrical traditions. Great film, definitely worth a watch.

4) Qayamat se Qayamat Tak (tr. From doomsday to doomsday) (1988) - based on Romeo and Juliet (kinda)

The star-crossed lovers story is technically not exclusive to Romeo Juliet. There are quite a few local stories that take the same form too, and it can be seen as a trope rather than a proper adaptation. However, it is credited with a revival of the Bollywood romance film, and is quite an important movie for the genre in that sense. 7/10 idk, personal biases about romance, it's nice though.

5) Goliyon ki raasleela: RamLeela (tr. A Dance of Bullets: RamLeela) (2013) - based on Romeo and Juliet

Talking of Romeo Juliet, this one actually does follow the play as an adaptation. It is set in a fictional village, and the lovers belong to two factions who are engaged in an on-going conflict. Though the film is generally not regarded as a good one, i think it does an okay job of putting the story in a modern context and also uses festivals and cultural omens to tell the story. 5/10 it's not that great

6) Angoor (tr. Grape) (1982) - based on Comedy of Errors

This is a FUN film, hell yeah. Maybe I just have a bias towards comedies, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. Makes use of a bunch of running gags, takes common problems of the average Indian household to create comical errors, chock-full of shenanigans. 9/10 I promise it's fun

7) Dil Chahta Hai (tr. The Heart Wants-) (2001) - based on Much Ado About Nothing

This is as such a story about three friends but it's also about three parallel love stories. This is quite a landmark film in Bollywood because of all the taboos it broke through and for being an important bildungsroman film about friendship and familial relations too. There is your Benedict-Beatrice battle of wits eventually turning into a love story. There is also the story of a womaniser who thinks that people talking about what it's like to be in love are exaggerating or outright lying until he falls in love himself. The most controversial part of the film, however, is the third romance, which has a massive age gap between the third friend and his elderly muse. The two connect with each other through common interests, and the friends have a falling out over the relationship. They come together eventually, each having matured in different ways and with a more freeing understanding of human relationships of all kinds. 9/10 definitely watch this one.

Okay that's all I got for now, have fun ✌🏻

#Bollywood #films #adaptations #Shakespeare #literature #movies #desi #desi tumblr #desi tag #rec list #recommendations

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ciaossu-imagines · 2 months

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Can you do day 20 prompt 1?

Of course I can! Thank you so much for showing interest in me and my opinions, my lovely anon! You’re very sweet!!

1. What was your first anime (that you knew was anime)?

Oh my god, honestly…I don’t actually remember. I remember growing up on Dragon Ball Z, Sailor Moon, Ronin Warriors and other things they’d show on Toonami, but I don’t think I actually knew they were anime then. It probably would have been either Bleach, Naruto, or Yu Yu Hakusho but there were some smaller little animes I watched around that time as well that I really grasped were anime because I had met friends and such who knew the terms, knew the culture, and was introducing me to it.

2. Favourite pre-2000’s anime?

Okay, right out the gate, reminding everyone – I can never pick favourites. I struggle with that so much because there are just so many fantastic shows and movies out there, so many solid choices, and I can’t say ‘this one is the best’ because there’s no universal best. Each one does something better than the others, all across the board. Of course, those familiar with my fandom list will see Yu Yu Hakusho and Ronin Warriors (and at times, Hunter x Hunter) on there. Sailor Moon, Dragon Ball Z, Trigun, Revolutionary Girl Utena, Cowboy Bebop, Akira, Lupin III, Ghost in the Shell, Astroboy…they’re all old anime that really do stand the test of time and are all worth checking out.

3. Favourite post-2000’s anime?

Fuck, I could make whole lists. Of course, I highly recommend all the ones on my fandom list, but I also will mention really loving Death Parade, Psycho-Pass, Shadows House, and a bunch of others!

4. Favourite director?

Umm…going to show my ignorance here and admit that I know absolutely no directors for anime. I know a couple of studios to the point where I can pretty much guess if a particular anime comes from them (Studio Madhouse and Studio Bones have some pretty recognizable traits among their varying anime) but that’s about it.

5. Favourite Ghibli movie?

Again, it’s really damn hard to say favourite. I will say I am firmly of the opinion that you can sit down with almost ANY Ghibli movie, and you will be in for a visual treat, interesting characters, and a good movie. I watch Totoro and Spirited Away the most though, but that’s only because they’re the two I actually own. I think the only one I haven’t watched more than once is Howl’s Moving Castle. It was a good movie stylistically, don’t get me wrong, was really cute but I’m a huge fan of the novel for that and the two are so vastly different that I couldn’t love it as much as a lot of Ghibli fans.

6. Favourite piece of merch (that you own or want to own)?

Okay, so I own a Yamamoto and a Yamazaki mini figure and both are extremely precious to me. Not only are they characters I love, but they were gifted to me by a friend I roleplayed with on ProBoards for years with and actually flew out to Toronto to meet. So they’ve got some sentimental value to them. As mentioned in another ask, I do diamond painting and there’s some really cool anime themed diamond painting pictures I’ve bought, since they’re not normally too expensive that decorate my walls, like one of Deku from BNHA, a Demon Slayer one, and I recently found a site that lets you make pictures into customized diamond painting pictures, so hopefully I’ll have some more from my other fandoms on their way!

7. First convention & 8. Convention you’ve attended the most?

I keep saying I’m going to go to conventions and plan (even bought tickets for one), but always chicken out, actually. I have a really hard time with large crowds of people, they make me really anxious and while it’s my dream to attend a convention and have all the fun that comes with it, I haven’t actually taken that final step. I’ll just keep repeating the small steps until I get there 😊

9. Favourite animation style?

As with everything, I have a really hard time saying favourite. I fully admit to being swayed by pretty, smooth animation but the animation styles I find pretty vary really widely. As everyone can see from the fandoms I write about on here, I watch a pretty wide variety of anime, from 90’s up to current animation, and I think that has something to do with it. I am more drawn towards things with more colour to them, things bright and eye-catching, but there’s also something beautiful about the soft, almost shojo-esque and pastel aesthetics of some anime. Really, I can deal with most animation styles, and it takes a lot for me to nope out of something because of the animation style…the only examples I can think of were RWBY, Kill La Kill (also the fanservice in that is gross), and Violence Voyager (and there were a lot more reasons I couldn’t finish that film and even the thought of it still leaves me feeling really damn unsettled).

10. Last anime you finished and your thoughts on it?

I finished up the second season of The Vampire Dies in No Time recently and honestly, the amount of love I have for that show is just insane. I will probably rewatch it at least a million more times. It’s such an easy watch, it makes me laugh a lot of the times, I love the animation style and the range of quirky characters. I definitely would recommend it to others if they enjoy comedy animation!

#admin chatter #anime talk

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bluethepineapple · 1 year

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10 and 11 for weird writer asks!

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

The most recent bit of work to haunt me is from @whinlatter's Beasts (which I highly recommend)! Specifically this piece:

They tried, I think, but couldn’t manage it. Some of them are really upset.’ Hermione leans down to try and pick up Crookshanks. He mews at her, before trotting meekly away. ‘Where were you tonight, anyway? You weren’t at dinner?’ ‘No, I went to Hagrid’s.’ Ginny leans down as Crookshanks approaches her, weaving himself between her legs before trotting off to settle down on the end of her bunk. ‘He made a pie. It was almost edible.’ Hermione, it seems, is not really listening. Instead she watches Crookshanks stretch his front paws out on Ginny's old blanket. 'What happened to them?’ she asks, after a pause, gesturing at the other beds. ‘Your dorm-mates?’ Ginny glances over at the bunks, bare, save for Crookshanks and her beloved Nimbus. She points at the bunks in order. ‘St Mungo’s, after Azkaban. Transferred to Beauxbatons. Dropped out, maybe being home-schooled, though I doubt it. And - still missing.’ She looks soberly at the last bunk. ‘No-one’s heard anything from her in months. Her parents are Muggles, they must be going spare.’ They’re quiet as they both get dressed for bed. As Ginny finishes feeding her owl, she looks over at Hermione, sat up in bed. There's a Muggle paperback book open on her lap, though she doesn’t seem to be turning many pages. Her eyes, instead, are fixed on a sleeping Crookshanks on the other side of the room.

For such a quiet scene, it felt so suffocating. Her relationship with Crookshanks here is this very tangible evidence of Hermione no longer fitting into her previous life. There is that very deep sense of having been left behind, of being replaced, of no longer fitting into her home. I will be honest, I found this part difficult to read. There is this very visceral sense of lostness and missing that I felt keenly with Hermione, and I have been thinking about it ever since.

For my own work, I recently re-read Sweet Summer Scents, and two lines come to mind for me :

“I can cook,” she said, willing and failing to keep her voice from choking. “It could even be delicious. Potions need quite similar skills to cooking I would have you know.” She brewed a NEWTs level potion at thirteen. Curry could not possibly be more complicated. She could do it. She could help. They still had time. They must still have time. “Of course.” He hesitated. Then a look so soft came over his eyes, as if she had revealed something precious to him. He smiled at her fondly. “I’m also quite certain you would rather be getting on with your book.”

As well as

There was a rustle of leaves and stupidly she wished that it was her dad coming back. Maybe a scream did escape her. Maybe he would demand the truth, and she would not lie. Maybe he would carry her up the stairs and tuck her into bed as if she were five and with a fever. As the pulse in her side turned into a full-blown blaze, she wondered if she could smell her own corpse again. She hoped her dad would not have to. In the pain, her hand spasmed. The wreath broke, her wilted privets scattered in the wind. The pain eased. There was no one.

The intensity of Hermione's longing is haunts me I suppose. It's that ghost of a home. The fact that her father is right there but is nonetheless unreachable to her anyway makes the resulting loneliness so visceral to me.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

While I love imagining such scenarios, I have never actually written one. I think I would if it would serve the plot or the theme, but I've never actually tried, so I can't say for sure!

#ask games

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unrelaxing · 3 months

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media list (15.01.2024 - 21.01.2024)

👂 Listened:

Albums:

The Truth About Love by Pink (2012) [6.5/10, kind of suffers from being too long - I loved all the songs in the first half, but barely any from the second half.]

Sorry For Partyin' by Bowling For Soup (2009) [6/10, fun album - though I think I liked this artist a lot more when I was younger.]

SOS by Sza (2022) [7/10, this album really grew on me as I listened to it - big fan of F2F and Nobody Gets Me.]

Podcasts:

RedHanded [Murder in Ulvila was my standout episode, just because of how the injustice felt so irreparable for those involved. And that's not even getting to the fact that it's unsolved.] Episodes: ⤷ EP 327: Murder in Ulvila ⤷ EP 326: Sarah Payne - Into Thin Air ⤷ EP 319: Lam Kor-wan - The Rainy Night Butcher

Morbid [Leonarda and The Bonebreaker case were the standouts to me this week - the former because of why she committed her crimes and how her upbringing and state of mind impacted her actions, and the latter because it related a lot to my question regarding minors being tried as adults.] Episodes: ⤷ EP 479: World's End Murders ⤷ EP 504: The Sauchie Poltergeist aka Wee Hughie ⤷ EP 505: Leonarda Cianculli - The Soap-Maker of Corregio ⤷ EP 476: Bobby Mackey's Music World ⤷ EP 465: The Devil Made Me Do It ⤷ EP 456: The Bonebreaker Case

National Park After Dark EP 196: The Slenderman Stabbing. Chequamegon-Nicolet National Forest. [This is the podcast episode that started me thinking about juvenile incarceration and had me doing this poll; it's also what inevitably got me doing more research into prison abolition. Really interesting episode.]

Ghost Story from Wondery [This one was intriguing, and I was super shocked to hear actual Hugh Dancy appear in it. It's absolutely what eventually led to me re-trying Hannibal, I just found him charming and smart and introspective and supportive - I would say the last episodes were a bit repetitive - especially with the psychic - but otherwise highly recommend.]

📖 Read:

Articles:

What About The Rapists and Murders? by Angel Parker from Medium [Article trying to formulate a response to the question of what should be done about people who commit violent crime should prison abolition take place - I found this article was not what you should read if you're truly looking for answers to this question. While I appreciate what the author is trying to do, in terms of highlighting the injustice that happens to those who are incarcerated, and the corruption that occurs within the penal system, it was a frustrating read for someone who was trying to learn more about the more practical aspects of prison abolition as a movement.]

NYC to pay $125K to woman who accused two NYPD cops of rape in last-minute civil suit settlement by John Annesse from Daily News

Should police officers be able to get away with having sex with detainees? from Daily Times [Has some good statistics about police who commit rape. "In 2015, after a year-long investigation, the Associated Press revealed that in the six-year period from 2009 to 2014, about 550 police officers had lost their badges for rape, sodomy and other types of sexual assault; and a further 440 for possession of child pornography and other sex crimes; or sexual misconduct such as propositioning citizens, sexting juveniles, or having consensual but prohibited sex while on duty."]

The Mysterious and Lonely Death of Joyce Vincent from Historic Mysteries

Books:

Luck In The Shadows by Lynn Flewelling [in progress, pretty much no progress since last week due to me being totally distracted by trying to read a 40 page article on prison abolition - that I still haven't finished!]

📺 Watched:

Television:

NBC Hannibal EP 1 & 2 [I wrote a post about this. I'm enjoying it so far. Incredibly dark, but also a lot of subtlety in the characters' dynamics! Definitely something to watch slowly.]

#prison abolition #true crime #media list #after the disappointing article on prison abolition i found one that explores of prison abolition and the question of violent crime #but its 40 pages and so ive had to read it slowly in order to take notes and etc #so that will probably show up in next year's list #as i continue to research prison abolition #i wonder if i should do a post on it when im done w everything #of course theres a lot theres writing from the 50s etc #its really fascinating and its so interesting to think that there was a time when people truly viewed prison as something that was temporar #and now its the default #✎#list.

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randomfoggytiger · 1 year

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X-Files Collector's Edition: Diana Fowl(ey) Play-- Part IV: S6-S7

These are Diana Fowley's crazy adventures through the remainder of S6, her rapey actions of S7, and a little post-death effects on the remaining living.

Loose chronological order below~

@fashionbooksboozefeminism's Hunter's Moon

""Since Christmas, you’d found it increasingly hard to get Mulder’s attention, but your suggestion you’d uncovered some new information had secured you a weekend lunch date. You sensed early on that Fox’s heart wasn’t quite in it but you strung out the work talk as long as you could, sprinkled in references to articles you’d read in the hope you’d have chance to share what you’d learned. Once he began to look impatient you requested a chaperone home and you knew New England manners would guarantee you an escort.""

Post The Ghosts That Stole Christmas Diana and Mulder see a pretty sweater as he walks her home. He coldly shuts down any romantic overtures, buying it for Scully.

pauraque's (DW) Blood Orange

""She dug her long, already-sticky thumbnail into the waxy, dimpled surface, and felt the damp white interior of the peel bunching up and getting jammed into the tender borderline of the nail bed. She pulled, and felt the strangely satisfying almost-pain of that tug against her fingernail.""

Krycek morbidly watches Diana splice open an orange.

Shoshana's Rivalry

""Diana," was all Scully said, angry at the presumptuousness of this woman.

"I'm really sorry to disturb you. I know you're probably curious where I've been, Dana."

"Actually, I haven't given it much thought, Diana. We knew you were still alive, and that was sufficient knowledge for me at the time.""

Post Arcadia Scully extends her claws when Diana drops in, amusing Mulder (and herself.) They discuss nicknames over lunch.

CultureisDarkB 's When Two Women Collide

""Special Agent Diana Fowley. I’ve heard quite a bit about you and your abilities to apply behavioural models to criminal cases.”

“I’ve heard of your unique background as well.” Mulder placed his hands on his hips and stared back at the wall. “So, where do we begin?”

“We start with a brain scan and psych evaluation.” Diana glanced at her watch. "It’s too late to head to the lab. I think we’ve done all we could do tonight.” She looked up at Mulder and smiled. “Want to go to dinner?”

Mulder fidgeted, biting at his bottom lip, combing his hair with his hand. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“What if I am?” she flirted back.""

An epic sweep of Mulder's relationship with Diana in the past, building up to the present and navigating his relationship with Scully through these rough waters. It culminates in Milagro. HIGHLY recommend.

@xfmaweezy/XFMaweezy/kishamaweezy's

Ninety Seconds

""Diana!” Fox quietly greeted her as he opened the door wider and stepped aside, motioning for her to enter. “Everything okay?”

Fox looked as though he had been preparing for bed, an observation that confused Diana. It was still early by Fox Mulder standards. Her Fox had slept very little, dropping off wherever he was; usually on the couch in front of the television.

This Fox had showered and brushed his teeth. The scent of soap and toothpaste wafted toward Diana on the warm night air that was blowing in through the open windows. This Fox wore loose shorts and a clean T-shirt; his feet bare and his hair damp.""

Pre-One Son Scully-- high on drugs and clad in pretty pajamas-- shocks a more sympathetic Diana during her impromptu late-night meeting at Mulder's.

Ninety Minutes (Ao3)

""By some cruel twist of fate, Diana had found herself on yet another task force working closely with Fox and his tiny partner, who was still wearing a cast on her broken left wrist. But it wasn’t the case that had her all out of sorts, it was her visit to Fox’s apartment after the apprehension of the convicts—a visit she’d convinced herself was only about the X-Files—that set her mind and her heart adrift. She hadn’t been able to function properly since, a dangerous state of mind to be in given her line of work. But she couldn’t get the image of a half naked Dana Scully out of her mind, nor the syrupy sweet affection Fox lavished upon her as she clung to him, unaware of Diana’s presence.""

Diana is sinking at a work function; but leaves early when Mulder sings a love ballad to Scully.

MulderScullyShipper's After the Fact

""Hello?”

“Fox, I… oh, it’s you. Is Fox there?”

Scully rolled her eyes at the familiar voice and glanced at Mulder as he came back into view, holding the beer bottles in his grip. “Agent Fowley.” Mulder stopped in his tracks and watched her as she spoke on the phone. “No, he’s a little busy right now.""

Post Milagro Scully and Mulder navigate the aftermath as a united team, clearing up Diana's lies and ignoring her whenever she tries to barge into their lives.

@admiralty-xfd’s (Ao3) the whole truth

""Scully...” he was moaning, and every time the name escaped his lips it pained her. “I need Scully.”

“Fox, it’s me, it’s Diana,” she said. She bent down and touched his shoulder.

“Scully…”

She didn’t know what to say. She wasn’t Scully, she couldn’t be Scully. But she could tell he was in pain and she wanted to help him.

“We should get you to see a doctor,” she suggested. She realized as the words came out how stupid they sounded, considering the only thing he’d asked for since she’d arrived had been, in fact, a doctor. But she couldn’t bring herself to call the woman she knew he was in love with.""

Biogenesis Diana is in love with Mulder, empathizing with his pain and out of depth in this strange, twisted mytharc development.

JourneyToX's Dirty, Dirty

""He is miserable, and sick. But that's good. His weakness makes it easier.

He trusts me like no other, and of all his follies, that is his greatest. Good, this will be simple, with his trust.

Women have done this before. Soft flesh and hard hearts, pillow talk and power. I must focus my mind, as well, and think only of him. How often I have thought only of him, dreaming of his handsome face stretched in ecstacy, as ashy breath washed over me and nicotine stained hands pawed me. This time it will be real, and a pleasure.""

Biogenesis Diana thinks she has Mulder wrapped around her fingers, ignoring his weak pleas for Scully. He ends up dampening her moves.

Jori's

Undone

""Fox Mulder is mine now. In his current condition, I can have him. Again. He is confused, doesn't know what is happening to him. And the person he relies on most is over a thousand miles away.""

Biogenesis Diana seduces Mulder; but stops mid-effort when he snaps out of his fog and screams bloody murder for Scully's help.

Invisible Bond

""Hello, Diana. What are you doing here? Come to pick up whatever you didn't take the first time around?" I ask, glaring at her.

I hardly knew her, all those years ago, but I never liked her. Perhaps because I saw her eventually turning into me. If she stayed with Fox long enough, they would dominate her life, too. She seemed the type that would easily follow along with the 'plan,' the type that wouldn't fight them. Just like me. She would know it was wrong, but she'd have no power to pull herself free.""

Amor Fati Diana adds legitimacy to CSM's demands of Tena, reassuring her that Mulder would be in safe hands.

Namarie/namarie24's (MuldersCreek) Splitting at the Seams

""She looked at him coolly. "What are you talking about?"

"Spender. Scully was right. How long have you been working for him?" Mulder realized that he was yelling. He pushed himself to his feet. "How long, Diana?"

"You're confused," she said, her face revealing nothing. Her thoughts, however, revealed shock and some fear. "You need to calm down."

Biogenesis Diana gets her mind read; and ends up stun-gunning Mulder into submission. Scully helps him heal after rescuing him.

Trixie 's (Whisper of X, Alt. page) Lies I Told Myself

""I am a liar.

Those words freeze in my throat; I would never speak them aloud, not in a million years. To admit to what I am, what I have become, would assure my certain downfall.""

Biogenesis Diana sneers at Scully, envies Krycek, and lies to herself about Mulder's loyalties. She subdues him and tucks him into a ward.

KatyBlue's (@lilydalexf's reccs) Taking Flight (Gossamer)

""...My fingers run over the curved glass, the faint crackles of static electricity and dust impeding their progress. I trace Mulder's left leg down to his foot and stop there, watching his face. Feeling almost as if he can see me there and is looking back, a silent plea in his eyes.

Get me out of here, Scully, it says.

I feel something soften inside me at his image. Hidden from the two people behind me. For a moment, I forget where I am, lost in a strange, bemused melancholy. Then I remember, but the words inside my head slip out anyway. "Have you ever played baseball, Agent Fowley?""

Biogenesis Diana venomously tries to prevent Scully from seeing Mulder. Skinner avoids eye contact; but takes up for his agent.

dee_ayy's The Watchman

""People come to see him, if that's what you call it. But not while I'm here--though once it happened. A woman, all haughty with authority. Swinging that long brown hair of hers, flashing that badge to get them to let her in long after visiting hours were over. But there are no visitors on this ward anyway. No one should see a loved one like this.

Yet she came. When she walked in I immediately paged the doctor.""

A nurse orderly understands Mulder, gaining his trust through compassion and pity. He's brushes off Diana on Mulder's behalf.

Nynaeve's Reason Does Not Know

""Seven years ago I did not know her for the actress she is. She spoke to me the words I had longed to hear. She won the trust I was too willing to bestow. A child shattered by events over which he had no control, the son of parents withdrawn, unable after that night to unwrap themselves from the tatters of their lives, she found me an easy target, a man who easily mistook her affectation of love for the emotion itself.""

Amor Fati Mulder sees into Diana's soul, realizing how deeply she believes in her lies.

BoneTree/Todesfuge's (@lilydalexf reccs)

Elegy with the Sound of the Ocean Inside It

""He clenched his hand on his temples, the voice lilting like a song in his head. It was so familiar. Velvet. Soft as a snake.

Diana.

He could hear the Captain coming closer, but it was too late. A few steps and he staggered toward the railing on the ship's starboard side. An instant later, William Scully calling his name, Mulder was flailing in cold air toward the water, right before his world turned to ice.""

Amor Fati Mulder dreams about meeting Will, not wanting Tena's forgiveness, seeing Albert Hosteen again, and trying to escape Diana's suburban dream life.

Agent L's (MuldersCreek) Willing Sacrifice

""Diana..."

His voice, rusty from disuse, is nonetheless loud in the quiet room, the word clearly spoken. I fight an unreasonable jealousy of this woman who betrayed him, who nearly killed him and yet still claims his loyalty, feeling small and selfish to resent him for not calling out for *my* name.

"Please. Don't let him..." His voice sinks to a whisper, a plea, and I realize he is back in the operating room, begging for her help. If she walked into the room at that moment, I would kill her for the anguish she put him through...still puts him through.""

Amor Fati Scully rescues a barely cognizant Mulder, patching him back up. As he slowly recovers, she becomes enraged at Diana's harsh, pitiless actions.

DM's

My Touchstone

""I would be lying if I said I did not feel threatened by Diana. I was, although I knew in my heart that the feeling was irrational. Mulder and I had been together too long, and traveled too far for someone, such as Diana, to come between us. I had faith in Mulder, and that faith is what carried me through and kept me from giving up. And, giving up was one thing I knew I would never, could never do.""

Post Amor Fati Scully struggles more with Diana's death than Mulder.

My Constant

""I was a little bit more than surprised to see Diana Fowley when I walked into the boardroom that morning. I was so preoccupied with getting under Agent Spender's skin that I didn't bother to scan the room to see who all was in attendance, an act that normally keeps me busy during such meetings. I can honestly say that the thought of replacing Scully with Diana, now that she had returned, never entered my mind. Although it has now come to my attention that it indeed did cross my partner's mind. When I realized how she felt, I was floored. Diana was my friend; I still cared for her but would never dream of giving her the space in my heart that belonged to Scully.""

Post Amor Fati Mulder had a pleasant relationship with Diana; but is shocked how affected Scully is by her death.

Philiater's Unattainable

""He closed the lid on her designer coffin with its designer contents. All gloss and superficial trappings made plain. It was a sad ending really.""

Post Amor Fati Mulder witnesses Diana's cremation in her wedding dress (AU to me), pondering on her relationship with CSM.

Elanor G.'s In Medias Res

""By contrast, Mulder could barely sense his own mother's thoughts - elusive, faint, not much more than a thin disquiet stream of worry. And the gray man who leaned over him...he must have been part of that consuming dream, because Mulder could sense nothing. His mouth twisted in a bitter grin.

"I got the clearest picture from Diana, probably because she was deliberately trying to open herself up to me. It was...bad." And it had been bad to see the way Diana pictured herself, the many layers of self- justification and self-delusion.

It was worse to see the madness hidden beneath her crisp exterior.""

Requiem Mulder explains how crushing Amor Fati was to him-- telling Scully about how twisted and sick Diana was. Scully wishes she could have heard his thoughts.

Pattie's Scully, Hands Down

""Granted, Diana was once of interest to me. However, I soon found that her type of beauty was only skin deep, and the other stuff went straight to the bone.

There was no way I was going to ask Gibson what he read, and he was mature enough, even at his age, to leave the subject alone.""

S9 Mulder ruminates on Scully's jealousy towards Diana, intending for Gibson to send it to Scully when he goes on a solo mission.

Mssilverwoods 's Amalgam

""Fox Mulder seems to never get past this tribute to those mawkish Lone Gunmen. He still looks puzzled, as if uncertain of what those who are cremated there might make of it. It's somewhat galling to see their names bathed in the pale morning sun.

Beside him, Scully comments as if she can read his mind. They smile in that bittersweet way, wishing they could ask, seek clarity from the dead, and check they know them well after all the years apart.

As if.""

Post S11 Mulder and Scully visit Diana's gave. Her ghost observes them.

Enjoy!

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nobleriver · 1 year

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So there is a book called Hamnet by Maggie O'Farrell that is very good being a fictional telling of Shakespeare's son Hament dying of the plague. (I highly recommend it) It's sad but excellent dealing with grief and loss. Also, this past week I lost a friend from work and I'm thinking about how things happen so suddenly when you can still mentally play the mental tape of the last conversation you have with someone when you don't know it will be the last.

I was thinking though should we feel a bit peeved that River's story that started death had been turned into something romantic? Death of anyone is horrific (not romantic) and I've always hated stories that were more heavy-handed in the emotional manipulation of it. Will never read Nicholas Sparks. Always hated this horrible movie I still remember from childhood about this woman who was pregnant but also had cancer who died after she gave birth.

I would hate to think I fell for a melodrama. I might lose credibility for wondering if I should feel slighted since I'm asking the question of myself for the first time since The Husbands of River Song was broadcast.

My heart goes out to you and your friend's loved ones. I have lost people I cared about, and yes, it does feel sudden. The world stops. Even though in the back our heads we know life is ephemeral and fleeting, we still expect that person to be there tomorrow. It's painful when they're not. So please know, you have my sincerest condolences. May you find comfort and peace in this time.

To address your other comment about River, I don't feel peeved. You see, the thing about the Doctor and River is that technically speaking it's not a romance. It's a tragedy. The one unbreakable rule of the romance genre is that there must be a happy ending. The characters must be alive and end up together at the end of the story. If they don't, it's not a romance. It's either a tragedy or a drama.

Therefore, the Doctor and River Song are a tragedy with romantic elements. The story starts out with her death, and we witness the Doctor try to avoid her and put distance between them because he hopes to avert her death. One of the reasons I love The Day of the Doctor target novel by Moffat is that it shows us how the Doctor (10th and 11th incarnations) see River. When the Doctor looks at River, he sees a ghost. Every once in a while, she'll do something SO alive and it just makes him even more miserable because it reminds him how dead she already is. 10 explains in that book (to us the audience) that he plans to rewrite River's end by avoiding her, because he believes she deserves a happier life. In that book, the Doctor, through multiple incarnations, is still grappling with River's passing, unable to accept it. He blames himself because he failed to save her. Her death isn't romantic; it's traumatizing to him.

The Doctor and River both knew forever would be a fairy tale, but they still chose each other. They embraced the little time they had left. To me, theirs is a romance within a tragedy. The fact they still fell in love, still married, still became each other's best friends and most trusted allies, THAT is the romance. The romance is the love blossoming beneath the sorrow. Their unyielding commitment to each other was a beauty to behold laced with pain. The romance adds to the pain but also creates moments of levity, pockets of joy and laughter where they can hide from the shadows closing in.

The writing for them is stunning in its impact. We watch the death of a random character in S4 plague and torment the Doctor for the next six seasons as the Doctor wrestles with how to accept her death and move on. It's tragic, but it's real, and the tragedy doesn't take away the beauty.

Also, I skimmed a review of the book. This actually sounds like a GREAT recommendation, and the storytelling is nonlinear. Love stories like that (cough cough, doctor who). I might actually check it out! Thank you.

#text #doctor who #the doctor #river song #doctorriver #otp: please don't #personal

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