Me remembering a random russian proverb and going like "oh. that reminds me of gabe actually"

The proverb in question is "Перед смертью не надышишься" (Pered smert'yu ne nadyshish'sya), literally "Can’t breath enough before death"

It can mean:

"Putting it off won't make it any easier"

"At the last moment, you can not manage to do what you had to do beforehand"

"You can't make up for lost time"

"It's too late for that now"

And it's also sometimes interpreted as like,, "well it's too late for that now, so no point in trying anyway"

And this made me think of AUs/HCs where Gabe actually Dies™️ (and I've pretty much accepted that it's the most likely thing to happen in canon too. who knows for sure tho, maybe not)

Like. He has so much stuff to do, so many topics to think of, so many emotions to go through (esp if he has Feelings™️ for V1, or anyone else for that matter), but whelp! too late for that loverboy!

And him either desperately trying to do at least something with the little time he has left, OR just. Giving up. Shutting down and waiting for everything to end

And about the "putting it off" part, makes me think that Gabriel must've had at least some trauma/issues related to the Council (about the time when they took the light from him, if nothing else), so it could've been hard for him to go back here, and actually deal with it, face it head on, but he did it anyway because it's not gonna get any easier if he waits

me rotating gabe in my head like in a microwave rn

as much as i obviously enjoy exploring gabriel as a fallen angel, i 100% agree that he's going to die in canon as ultrakill sees the world at the end of its lifespan and that goes for just about everything in it. and on a character level for gabriel, i think it makes sense for the exact reasons this proverb brings up: gabriel has had an end of life epiphany and, like everything else, it is too late now. his world has crashed down around him in his death throes, and all he can do is what is most important in the precious few hours he has left while the rest, all of the personal trauma he must harbor, will now remain forever untouched. but we've already seen whatever gabriel will do with that time remaining will be worthy of it.

the majority of the day he has left has likely already been spent, but he has used it fully to contemplate his long existence and then hearken to newfound autonomy - after which, he swiftly dispatches the entirety of the council to liberate heaven from their rule (the way he chooses to slay the final councilor has interesting parallels now to his execution of sisyphus, and i'm sure that figures into gabriel wishing to right wrongs he can't take back). we know after this he will depart forever from heaven, and his only destination can be hell to meet once again with v1 as he promised. gabriel has so much he could do, so much it could be argued he needs to do, but with his death impending and the very world around him crumbling with it, there is actually very little left for him to do realistically. gabriel is leaving a life full of regret that he will never remotely understand because he has no time for it, but he's ensuring that whatever can be tangibly, immediately addressed is. his life will never be put into context for him, but his death will be.

because gabriel leaves behind a cruel, bloody life that he once thought to be one of supreme order but is, instead, a mess. his time spent serving god had wronged so many, it had likely constantly gone against his own internal morals (that he no doubt punished himself over and over for, torturing himself over sins he now understands were compassion) - yet those feelings don't matter because ultimately he upheld god's will, he carried his banner of violence against humanity, and now there is no one to confront or repay with god and humans all dead. and under the rule of the council, he became a dog he must be disgusted with - they were not god, they never held that ultimate authority that at least he may have been able to shift the blame onto somewhat. they were angels just like him, perhaps higher in rank but not his ruler and certainly not his maker, yet he conformed to their every order, he furthered their political gains again at the expense of his morals. secretly he cared for those in limbo. secretly he cared for the ferrymen. secretly, perhaps, he was some kind of friend to hell. but then the council came and he obeyed them as unconditionally as he had god, reining terror on the citizens of hell and becoming their blight after ripping minos's crown from him as judge of hell. these are the festering regrets he will never account for, will never make reparations for - they are all dead, and he is dying.

so what can gabriel do except address his death and what brought him to it - a poor substitute for making sense of an entire life now left undone, but he seems to working within what he has instead of giving into panic or despair. and all he has left, all he has time for and all he knows he can manage in the hours remaining, is going to see v1 one last time. i'm sure with this, gabriel has a definite goal in mind: i think foremost is fully immersing himself in his feelings for v1 and just what this machine did for him. ultrakill, despite all appearances, is a love story in many ways, and i strongly believe gabriel's feelings toward v1 will be woven into that theme. he wants to feel his love as fully himself and now that he has realized it, to wrap himself in it after the revelation has occurred and allow it to flow through him with acceptance. it happens through a fight, of course, but what i don't know is what gabriel's ultimate goal for that fight will be - does he want his last act to be stopping v1, to have them die together in a sense, or does he desire to be killed by v1 rather than letting that loss of light take him? maybe gabriel would be content with either, but i think of him as a character with now well-defined ideas of what he wants, so i believe he's more likely to want something concrete.