#i would be like 'please let me ramble about them' but the levels of infodumping would be lethal for all parties involved /lh | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

watatsumiis · 10 months

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OFBFKDODBSJK Hello General!! I often see u in my notifs but until now I never knew how to interact with u

But the ask game! I wanna know everything but I don't wanna spam u sooooo I have 4 emojis, for every f/o please 🥹❤️

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

😘: What’s your f/o’s favorite thing about YOU?

💤: Do you sleep together? If so, describe your sleeping positions and patterns (E.g. who steals the blankets, are either of you insomniacs, etc.)

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

Aaaaaand!

Do you have shipnames?

WAAAH HI THERE!!! i see you on my dash a lot and im always like. (looks shyly and waves at u from afar. but no closer bc im shy).

TUMBLES AROUND ON THE FLOOR EXCITEDLY. THANK YOU SO MUCH PLEASE NEVER WORRY ABOUT SPAMMING ME :D

ramblies below the cut ehe <3

😍: Name your three favorite things about your f/o

Ayato - His smug vibes, his voice, HIS LITTLE BEAUTY MARK <3 though also the fact he has so much experience in being in charge and making decisions is also very <3 to me. i hate making decisions

Capitano - mm,,,,, big,,,,, strongk,,,, nice,,,, (most of the things i actually like about him are Not Canon so im not sure whether or not to count them but if we are its his face (mm prety), his big hands (for holding) and his protective instinct asjkdf)

Zhongli - Dragon guy ,,,, his wide array of knowledge about lots of things, his voice

Diavolo - dragon guy (to me),, his optimism, his himbo tendencies

Lucifer - same as ayato -- the fact he is good at making decisions and taking the lead, his wiiiiings <3, his grey streaks (sob)

😘: What’s your f/o’s favorite thing about YOU?

i felt so narcissistic typing all of this section out sjkdhfkjd

Ayato - my willingless to actually sit down and listen to him talk about things that may not be inherently relevant or useful !

Capitano - maybe that i try to see others for more than what they are on a surface level and give people the benefit of the doubt when trying to hear their side ?

Zhongli - possibly my curiosity ? i come up with a lot of random questions that others may find silly or not question in the first place (my google history is such a mess because of it) and i think hed have fun just going into random tangents and infodumps because of my questions, and id love to listen <3

Diavolo - my ability to help reel him in when he's being unrealistic/making questionable snap judgements or being Too Optimistic(tm)

Lucifer - probably similar to ayato in that ill always listen to him no matter what - and that i tend to behave myself (for the most part. maybe)

💤: Do you sleep together? If so, describe your sleeping positions and patterns (E.g. who steals the blankets, are either of you insomniacs, etc.)

Ayato - often up super late into the night doing paperwork, though id imagine he finds a way to do some of them in bed, so we'll often end up with him sitting up, leaning against the headboard while im falling asleep next to him on my side with my back pressed up against his leg. id definitely hog the blankets because hed have these fancy sheets that barely keep out the cold. he just sighs and lets it happen. we wear cute matching pyjamas though so its ok <3 though when we're both asleep i imagine we end up spooning (hes big spoon OBVI)

Capitano - he probably pulls a lot of late nights for fatui stuff or whatever but i always try to stay awake to wait for him to get home bc im worried but end up falling asleep on the couch. he just wordlessly carries me to bed. we sleep facing each other and he has one arm draped over me while i curl up real small <3 though also the mental image of me trying to be the big spoon/jetpack is very very funny and would totally happen. oh my god i bet he snores SO loud though. and is really easy to accidentally wake up. if you drop something he jumps out of bed in a fighting stance kjhsjdkf

Zhongli - sleeps like a rock (ha). he basically just plonks down in the middle of the bed on his back, hands resting on his stomach like a mf corpse and leaves me to work around him. like he barely stirs even if i climb all over him. hes just like another pillow on the bed. his bedding is fancy but in a different way to ayato because theyre actually really really nice quality and soo comfy cozy. id probably end up laying on top of him, face-down with my head on his chest more often than not. mattress 2.0

Diavolo - he starfishes out across the middle of the bed in his full demon form, hes a blanket hog, he snores and talks in his sleep. probably sleeps in only boxers. he lets me lay on his wings and curl up close to him. he gets really super clingy at night though so sometimes itd be very hard for me to sleep much. he'll wake up from like a dead sleep and whine if i tried to move away to get comfy. we also have our own separate sets of blankets otherwise he'll leave me shivering at 2am curled up on the edge of the bed as he smacks me with his tail (I KNOW HE DOESNT CANONLY HAVE ONE LET ME DREAM)

Lucifer - We probably both fall asleep separately (or just doing the bare minimum of touches, holding hands or legs entangled a little) but tend to gravitate towards one another during the night. im a bit of a blanket hog but hes fine with it. he doesnt often sleep in his demon form or else i end up all night playing with his wings. soft. hehe. he also stays up very late but if i come to his study with a pathetic enough set of puppy dog eyes he'll cave and come to bed. and carry me there if im being lazy. hehe.

💋: Where are your favorite places to kiss your f/o/where are their favorite places to kiss you?

Ayato - Along his jaw and on his beauty mark!! but also his hands and forearms. he also gets a lot of nibbles im like a little rat <3 He gives a lot of ear, jaw and neck kisses.

Capitano - His face, if he has it exposed, is the number one target here I think. I wanna give him so many lil kissies <3. I'd imagine he likes giving forehead and top of the head kisses.

Zhongli - Listen. let me have my headcanons of a slightly more monstrous zhongli with scales and stuff. i like to imagine he has little scale-like markings/patches in soft/exposed parts (tummy, top of hands, that kinda thing) and i would give those spots many kisses. but also the tip of his nose because hed always do a cutely shocked look when i do. his favourite spot to smooch ? hands and shoulders i think, but also id imagine he likes giving little jaw kisses and collarbone kisses if theyre available <3

Diavolo - Cheeks and face!! but also shoulders and wings. and horns. and tummy. ehe. i think hed get all smiley and blushy and adorable when he's receiving smooches.

his favourite spot TO smooch requires a little explanation. the main sona of mine that i ship with him is an angel from the celestial realm, who has these sort of 'halo markings' all across his body (wrists, ankles, thighs, upper arms, tips of ears) and a few little teardrop-shaped markings on his cheeks that dia really likes to give little kissies to, as well as on his back right between his wings!! :D

Lucifer - he gets forehead kisses. and kisses next to his eyes and on his temples. he also gets a lot of nibbles on the wrist, knuckles and neck. i have this very vivid mental image of swooping in while hes doing boring work and smooching him until he stops frowning so much. its very cute. I think he'd like kissing the top of my head and pressing his face into my hair, but i think his favourite would be any pulse points, especially wrist and neck <3

Ship names

My name doesn't really go well with most of my favs (sobbing emoji) the only ship name im really happy with is 'Rowavolo' (which is me x Diavolo). I guess i could add 'Ro' to the end of Ayato or Capitano but it doesn't sound Right to me. comes off the tongue weird. so alas no ship names :<

#asks #general barks #WAAH tysmsmsms for sending this in it made me so so so so happy to infodump about my sillies #spins in a circle jumps up and down #i havent written much recently but just rambling incoherently about my selfships was like. so therapeutic. thank you sm /gen #also if you ever want to invade my dms/askbox please feel free !! id love to hear from you - you seem rly cool and fun :D #ask memes #selfship tag

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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

Text

Hot Mess

Prompt: Hi, so I really flippin love your writing style and I was wondering if you could write a fic of the sides just flirting(mainly Janus because we all know he's the best flirter) with each other, like in (Un)wanted chapter 1 where Janus was flustering Virgil really badly, that sort of thing. Could be DLAMP or DLAMPR I don't mind. You don't have too I was just wondering... Thanks either way!

First off, thank you so much for the prompt! Second...

Listen. Everything is awful and I don’t understand how flirting works. Ever. Actually, you know what, no. No one understands what flirting is. There have been so many fucking tests run and no one can ever tell who is flirting ever. It’s bullshit. Everything is bullshit and I’ve never understood a damn thing in my entire life and I’m sure as hell not about to start now. So.

That being said, here.

Read on Ao3

Pairings: yes. LAMP, DLAMP, DLAMPR.

Warnings: sympathetic janus & remus

Word Count: 5884

If you ask anyone whose fault is it that everyone, for some reason, starting flirting with each other, they’ll blame Janus. Even Janus. He knows what he did. It’s his fault.

Anyway, there are a few things that are a given. Everyone flirts with everyone, with the one exception of Roman and Remus. They’re brothers. It doesn’t work. Anything else is fair game. Are they being serious? Who knows. Probably. Maybe. Keeping anything straight around the Mindscape is complicated enough, for obvious reasons.

Doesn’t mean there can’t be some level of trying to keep track of what’s bound to happen at some point.

Patton’s flirting is both the least obvious and the most obvious. It’s super cheesy pick up lines delivered completely genuinely and the sweetest pet-names ever. But the problem is that’s not too different from how he normally is. For some reason, the Dad Coaxing Tone™ is the worst and he knows it. He doesn’t flirt nearly as often as some of the others do and he’s surprisingly sweet about it. It normally just makes them kind of giggly and slightly redder than normal. Always comes with hugs, which is never something to complain about. Cheeky comments and cheeky smiles that leave them second-guessing everything that just happened. And, of course, by the time they’re just about finished wrapping their heads around what just happened, he’s back with another line and here they go again.

Roman.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ.

They should have expected this because his job is romance but fucking hell.

His way of showing love is through poking fun at things so…all the teasing. All of it. Not just verbal teasing, even though that in itself is enough to make everyone melt into puddles, but he gets close. Like, sneak-up-and-hug-you-from-behind kind of close. Or he’ll just stand really close with a smirk as he teases them, waiting for them to give in and run into his arms. Or he’ll crowd them against the wall. Or the counter. Someone probably dared him to do this—or not, because, again, it’s Roman—but he definitely pinned Logan to the wall and didn’t let up until his grip on Logan’s wrists were the only thing keeping him standing. Also, super gushy pet-names. Like, super gushy. Like Patton, very fond of telling them how cute they are, including asking them why they’re hiding such a cute face, come on, he wants to see how adorable they are. With Janus and Logan, he makes his voice lower, taking advantage of how close that lets him get. Dramatic monologues or sneaking up and dipping them are a must. He goes full Disney Prince and doesn’t let up until they can’t even ramble anymore, smiling down at their bright red cheeks. With the others, he makes his voice very sweet, soft, and gentle. He gets right in their faces so they can’t go anywhere and riles them up until they’re a melted squirmy mess. It’s not uncommon to find someone—normally Patton or Virgil— an absolute puddle with Roman beaming, just twisting them round and round his finger. Merciless and shameless flirt. Roman is the actual worst and they all love him.

Virgil is affectionately known as The Meme Flirter. No prizes for guessing who came up with that. He picks one nickname for each of them and just peppers it into conversation with a wink and a smirk. The master of timing. He doesn’t need to spend ages winding them up, he just picks the right moment and they’re covering their faces and squirming. Also uses the technique of being close but not close enough to touch. Sometimes he’ll team up with Roman or Logan and just be there all ‘you know he’s right’ when they look to him for help, or engage in conversation with whoever else is flirting about how red they’re getting, or how much they’re squirming. Or he’ll engage in flirt competitions. He’s way more confident about it than they ever anticipate and it always catches them off guard. He keeps an eye on them though, because he knows the others (especially Roman) can get carried away. “You don’t wanna break ‘em, do you?”

(They do sometimes but shh.)

For Logan, infodumping is the actual best way of expressing affection and you will not convince him otherwise. He’ll research topics so they can talk about them together if they want but if you think that is it then boy howdy you are wrong. This guy keeps notebooks on the best way to fluster each and every one of the Sides, okay. He knows his shit. He infodumps about them too, phrasing compliments as provable facts. Will pretend to be confused about why they’re getting so flustered, he’s just telling them the truth, why are you so red? It would be convincing if he weren’t purposefully making his voice as low as it can go and smirking. Also a teasy bastard. He will just ask them to do things he knows they can’t help doing when they get flustered, especially with Patton or Janus. He’s asked Janus to squee for him more often than he would like. (Liar.) Or they’ll be protesting and telling them to knock it off and he’ll just point out that ‘no one is holding you. Nor are we blocking any exits. By all means, if you wish to leave, then you may.’ Knowing perfectly well they’re puddles and puddles can’t move. But then ‘oh, you must not want to leave.’ ‘Accidental’ touches make it worse, as well as nonchalantly adding in pet-names. He’s the one who figured out that pet-names make them melt, by the way. Also figured out that firmer touches help ground them, so he offers them a deal sometimes. If they like, they can come and cuddle with him while he flirts. It gives them an excuse to cuddle and a place to hide, but that does mean he’s murmuring right into their ears. It’s a double-edged sword. When he teams up with Roman they are the worst, especially when they agree that it’s necessary to reestablish emotional stability. Or they’re bored, snickering when poor Virgil bolts out of the room from too much blush. Virgil will run away if it gets to be too much, he’s got that built into his whole deal as anxiety, but Janus…forget about it. That team-up definitely has overwhelmed the poor thing multiple times. You can’t freeze with these predators, they’ll eat you alive. They definitely teased and flirted with him until he burst into tears one time, it was…an experience.

“Enough!”

Roman pauses, midway through some dramatic gesture, faltering at the crack in Janus’s voice. Logan glances at him before looking back at Janus, his hands still pressed hard to his face, his shoulders tense. He takes a small step forward and tilts his head.

“Janus?”

He calls his name softly until he lowers his hands, unable to stop the comforting noise when he sees the tears on his cheeks. Beside him, Roman inhales sharply, only to make a noise of protest when he immediately covers his face again.

“Janus,” he says, dropping the flirty persona immediately, “may I touch you?”

Please say yes, please.

He nods. Logan reaches out, gently covering his hands to coax them away, clutching them tightly.

“Too much?” Janus nods. “My apologies, it was not my intention to overwhelm you.”

“Nor mine, little snake,” Roman says quietly.

“I know.”

“Would you like us to stay,” Logan asks gently, giving his hands a squeeze, “or leave you alone?”

Janus shuffles, his mouth drawing tight and his hands tensing. Logan is content to wait patiently for him to make up his mind, but Roman seems to have other ideas.

“Oh dear,” he murmurs, stepping a little closer, “we really overdid it this time, didn’t we, darling?”

“I said enough,” Janus mumbles.

“I know, I know, I’m done,” he assures, reaching out to tenderly wipe his cheek, “I promise. Oh, oh you poor thing…”

“Roman,” Logan chides gently, “I don’t think…”

He trails off when Janus frees one of his hands, tentatively reaching out for Roman. Roman swoops in, gathering him into a hug so tight his fingers whiten from his grip on him. As Logan watches, Roman tilts his head slightly, beginning to pepper kisses along the side of his face.

“I don’t understand,” he says quietly, “how…how is this not more overwhelming?”

“I think you’re going to have to wait to ask him that, Specs,” Roman murmurs, “because I don’t know that either.”

“Then how did you know it would work?”

Roman looks up at him, sadness coloring his gaze. “Because a different face told me it would.”

Ah.

“I’m right here,” Roman says softly, rocking Janus in his arms, “I’m right here, little snake. I won’t let anything hurt you.”

Janus all but slumps into Roman’s embrace, his head tucking neatly against his shoulder as he presses more kisses to his face.

“I have you, alright? I’m not going to hurt you, you know I’m not.” Roman adjusts his grip. “It’s just like we always do, hmm? I rile you up and then you come here and I cuddle you right back down.”

He pulls back to gently catch another tear with his thumb. “Just pushed a bit too far this time, hmm?”

I rile you up and cuddle you back down.

Like we always do.

I’m not going to hurt you, you know I’m not.

“I understand,” Logan breathes, “I understand now.”

“Understand what?”

“What’s happening.” Logan steps forward, gently resting his hands on the part of Janus’s back not covered by Roman’s arms. “And how I can help.”

“By all means then,” Roman says, “tell us.”

“Janus is…not accustomed to receiving compliments,” Logan begins, lightly hushing Janus’s noise of protest.

“It’s true, little snake,” Roman says.

“Yes, and we will work on that,” Logan promises, “but that does make it easy to blindside or disarm him with comments of that nature. Hence…”

He motions between the three of them.

“You’re not used to experiencing affection like this,” he continues softly, “and especially not through flirting or playful teasing, which is why it doesn’t take much effort on our parts to fluster you.”

Janus makes another noise of protest and he shushes him gently.

“I’m not trying to tease, Janus, I promise,” he murmurs, “but it doesn’t, does it? It makes you uncomfortable because you don’t understand it, not really, so you don’t know what to expect next. We have not exactly been…forthcoming with affection in the past, have we?”

Janus nods hesitantly.

“This, however,” Logan continues, leaning a little more of his weight onto his hands, “is a form of affection you understand very well.”

He steps a little closer, rubbing firm circles into Janus’s back.

“You are a very heat-sensitive person,” he says, “and you understand how to give and receive affection in this language, so to speak. When one of us touches you while we are teasing or flirting with you, it heightens the loss of control you feel because it’s something that should be familiar, but it’s being used in an unfamiliar way.”

“But when it’s like this,” Logan continues, leaning closer, “it’s calming. Grounding. Especially after you’ve just been in a state of higher stress. You know what we mean by it.”

“When I put my hand on your shoulder or your back,” he murmurs, shifting his weight further onto his hands, “you know it means I’m here, right here, and I’m not going anywhere. When Roman kisses you—“ Logan smiles when Roman uses that as an excuse to press another kiss to Janus’s forehead— “you know it means he cares about you, that he won’t let anything hurt you.”

“Look at our resident genius over here,” Roman says, leaning over to peck Logan’s cheek too, smirking when it brings a flush to his face, “aww, Logan, feeling left out?”

“No,” Logan replies stiffly, ignoring the growing smirk on Roman’s face, “and even if I were, we have more pressing matters to deal with.”

“No, no,” Janus mumbles, “I’m good now, I can leave, it can be Logan’s turn.”

Roman raises his eyebrows. ‘Are you gonna let that go?’

Logan will most certainly not.

“I can assure you,” he rumbles into Janus’s ear, “I am perfectly satisfied with our roles as they currently stand.”

Roman chuckles when Janus squirms in his grip.

“After all,” Logan continues, “we have just established that this can be quite the cathartic experience for you, it wouldn’t do at all to interrupt it before it is complete.”

“Did you just…create a scientific excuse to do this in the name of maintaining emotional stability?”

Logan smirks. “Perhaps.”

“You know better than to try and argue with Logan about science,” Roman adds.

Janus swats at them half-heartedly but doesn’t protest when Roman lets him go a few moments later, pressing one last kiss to his forehead and leaving. Logan taps him gently on the shoulder.

“Am I correct, Janus?”

“Yeah,” he mumbles, a little red still on his cheeks, “you’re right.”

“Good.” Logan reaches out and slides the tissue box closer. “And…thank you.”

He looks up, confused. “For what?”

Logan smiles. “For telling us it was too much, and for letting us help.”

That’s the first time Logan’s able to determine exactly how best to help one of them calm down, especially after one of them is incredibly flustered. The first time he implements it is under…slightly different circumstances.

He’s not quite sure how Virgil and Roman talked him into playing Truth Or Dare, but here he is, on the couch, Roman sprawled across the floor, Virgil perched on the back. So far he’s had to cover his ears from Roman belting the third Disney medley in an hour and he has several questions for Remus about where his good clipboard is. Then it’s Virgil’s turn again and he picks dare.

“Are you sure, My Chemically Imbalanced Romance?” Roman asks.

“Just hit me with it, Princey.”

Roman taps his fingers against his chin, glancing around. His eyes land on a spot over Logan’s shoulder and he grins. Logan follows his gaze and sees Janus in the kitchen.

“I dare you,” Roman announced, “to flirt with Patton for two minutes.”

Virgil snorts. “That’s it?”

Roman just sweeps his arm dramatically. “Your dare awaits.”

Virgil shrugs, getting up off the couch and making his way to the kitchen. The instant he’s almost there, Roman scrambles up, jumping onto the couch next to Logan, almost landing on top of him, hooking his chin over the back.

Logan raises an eyebrow. “Comfortable?”

“Shush, Pocket Protector,” Roman says, flapping a hand, “and get your timer out.”

Logan rolls his eyes, checking his watch and watching Virgil lean on the counter, propping his chin on his hand.

“Hey there, cutie.”

Patton startles, whirling around to see Virgil. “Hey! Wow, you scared me, uh, yeah, hi there!”

“Sorry,” Virgil smiles, not sounding the least bit sorry, “can’t help it. You look like a cute little bunny when you’re startled.”

“Oh, god, not this,” Patton mutters, turning around, his face already starting to flush.

Virgil grins, his tongue between his teeth as Patton tries to go back to what he was doing. “You just make it too easy, cutie.”

“I do not!”

The grin turns feral. “Then why don’t you turn around and show me that pretty face?”

“Nope. No thank you. I’m going to stay over here.”

“Why, afraid of proving me right?”

“No.”

“Then come on, cutie,” Virgil says, tilting his head, “turn around.”

Patton leans his head back, sighing before turning around and spreading his arms. “Happy?”

“Mm.” Virgil grins. “You’ve got such pretty eyes, Patton.”

He stutters, his face already turning red. “Oh my god. Stop!”

“Can’t help it cutie,” Virgil says, waggling his eyebrows and chuckling when Patton covers his face, “I’ve been dared to do this for two minutes!”

“Good to know,” Patton squeaks, “that this is only happening because it’s mandatory.”

“Aw, don’t be like that, cutie, you know I’ll flirt with you anyway.”

“That is not what I meant!”

Virgil only laughs harder. “You might wanna pace yourself, cutie, you’ve still got…”

He trails off, looking at Logan. Logan checks his watch.

“One minute and twelve seconds.”

“One minute and twelve seconds left,” Virgil finishes, propping himself back up on the counter, “so…”

The sight is entertaining, Logan has to admit. Patton goes bright and flushed, his eyes squeezing shut, mumbling little things to himself and trying not to whine every time Virgil opens his mouth.

“Aw,” Virgil teases when he breaks and tries to bite down on his knuckle, “don’t muffle yourself, cutie.”

“Goodness, you need to stop.”

“I want your voice on my playlist, it’s so pretty.”

“Why?”

“I just said.” Virgil props his chin on his hand again. “It’s so pretty.”

“No, why are you doing this?”

Virgil smirks. “Because you’re so pretty.”

And with that, Patton’s reduced to another blushy panic with plenty of muttered comments and Virgil’s standing there, grinning. It’s refreshing, seeing Virgil so confident, so sure of himself. It looks good on him.

And, of course, Patton is objectively adorable.

The scene is so captivating, in fact, that Logan glances down at his watch only to realize the two minutes have expired.

“Time,” he calls, much to Patton’s relief.

“Thank goodness.”

“Aw,” Virgil pouts, “you’ll hurt my feelings, cutie.”

“Nope. No more.” Patton points a stern finger at him, the effect slightly undone by his pink cheeks and the fact that he’s obviously fighting a smile. “You get out.”

Virgil just winks and saunters back to the couch.

“Stellar performance, Dark and Stormy,” Roman declares, giving Virgil a round of applause, “truly excellent.”

“Well done,” Logan says, “that was quite the display of self-confidence.”

Virgil just lifts a shoulder and lets it drop. “Eh. Easy dare. My turn now, right?”

“Indeed.”

Virgil narrows his eyes, glancing between the two of them. “Princey. Truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Roman answers immediately, “what kind of prince would I be if I turned down a challenge?”

Virgil smirks. “Alright, then. You have two minutes to make Patton redder than I did.”

“Done.”

“Virgil,” Logan chides lightly as Roman prances off toward the kitchen.

“Relax,” Virgil says, settling in to watch, “it’s not like he’s gonna hurt him.”

“No, he’s just going to fluster him with the end goal of rendering him inarticulate.”

Virgil smirks. “Exactly. Now shut up and watch.”

“Oh, Addie,” Roman calls, smirking at the way Patton startles.

“Oh, um, hey, Roman, um, what do you want?”

“I just want to talk to you, Patton.”

“Oh goodness,” Patton mumbles, already covering his face as Roman crowds him against the counter, “don’t say my name like that, that’s really mean!”

Roman’s eyes gleam. “Dearest, if you wanted me to call you pet names instead, you only had to ask, my sweet, I’m more than happy to oblige.”

“No!”

Roman just smirks, bracing his hands on either side of him. “No? Then what should I call you, gorgeous?”

Any reply is too muffled for Logan to hear. Virgil snickers as Roman sighs dramatically.

“Fine, I’ll just have to call you by your lovely, lovely name.” He leans forward to try and peer through the gaps in his fingers. “Almost as lovely as you.”

He chuckles when Patton whines again, spluttering like a fish out of water. “You’re so cute when you’re at a loss for words.”

“What do you want?”

“Oh, I was dared to make you redder than Virgil did.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re absolutely stunning, darling,” Roman answers easily, “and it’s stunningly easy to flirt with you.”

“It is not!”

Virgil snorts and Logan raises an eyebrow. Roman’s smirk widens.

“Of course is it, cutie pie,” he coos, “all I have to do is this.”

“N-no, don’t do that,” Patton stammers, trying to cover his face with a dish towel, only for Roman to catch his hands and effortlessly pull them out of the way, lacing their fingers together and holding them against the counter.

“What’s the problem, sweetie?” He gently blows a strand of hair out of Patton’s face. “Is it just that I’m…right here? Talking like this to you? Is that it, honey?”

“Mmm!”

“Hmm?” Roman tilts his head. “What’s that, cutie?”

“It’s not even flirting,” Patton manages, still looking as if he’s trying to sink into the counter.

“I’m not even saying anything, cutie,” Roman coos, “and there’s nothing I enjoy better than being able to render you speechless like this.”

Logan has to admit, Roman’s teasing is enough to make him shift on the couch, a slight flush rising unbidden to his face. Judging by the way Virgil starts fiddling with the strings on his hoodie, he’s not immune to it either.

It really should not be that much of a surprise that Roman is one of the most proficient flirters in the Mindscape. Romance, passion, and desire all fall under his purview. And yet, here they all are, slowly growing more and more flustered.

“Okay,” Virgil mutters just loud enough for Logan to hear, “Princey’s getting me and he’s not even trying.”

“I concur.” Logan adjusts his tie and glances at his watch. “Thirty seconds.”

“Come on.” Roman tugs gently at the towel in Patton’s hands. “You have to show me your cute little face, otherwise I won’t know if the dare’s over yet!”

He finally manages to get the towel away from him and gasps, quickly reaching out to cup his cheeks before he can cover his face again. “Oh, just look at you, you’re even cuter up close!”

“R-Roman!”

“Yes, cutie pie?”

“Let me go!”

“Go where,” Roman murmurs, pushing Patton gently against the counter, “can you think of anywhere better to be than right here, in my arms, while I tease you silly? Hmm? You’re not even trying to get away, sunshine.”

“Time.”

Roman chuckles, stepping back, perching his hands on his hips. “What do you think, redder than Virgil’s go?”

“Hmm,” Virgil hums, leaning over the back of the couch, “dunno. Can’t see his face from here.”

“I’m mad at you,” Patton mutters, already covering his face.

“Aw, no,” Roman purrs, “no you aren’t. Come on, gorgeous, if you don’t show us your face, I’ll just have to do it again!”

“No.” Patton forces his hands down, making Roman chuckle again. Sure enough, his face is beet red, covering his skin with such intensity that for a moment, Logan worries. Then Virgil snorts.

“Aww, he’s so cute!”

“I know, isn’t he?”

“Oh my goodness.”

“Virgil,” Logan chides lightly.

“You’re no fun, teach,” Virgil says, waving a hand, but he concedes. “Yeah, alright, Princey. You win.”

Roman bows, sweeping his hand in a wide arc, before taking one of Patton’s hands and pressing a kiss to the back of it.

“Thank you, sunshine.” With a wink, he strides back to the couch and sits down triumphantly. “That was fun!”

His eyes widen when he sees Logan adjust his glasses nervously and Virgil quickly flips up his hood.

“Don’t tell me that you got flustered too,” he teases, reaching up to poke Logan’s arm.

“Enough,” Logan says quickly, “your turn to ask.”

For a moment, he braces himself for Roman to not, indeed, agree, but then Roman simply pouts and tilts his head up.

“Logan, dare or dare?”

Logan blinks. “That is not the game, Roman.”

“Yeah, but you’re the only one who hasn’t done a dare yet, so…” Roman shrugs. “Dare or dare?”

“It seems pointless for me to choose between two of the same options,” Logan sighs, “but I will select ‘dare.’”

Roman tilts his head this way and that, considering Logan. Then he grins.

“I don’t think it’s fair if we leave Logan out,” he says to Virgil, “do you?”

“Oh, goodness, hasn’t Patton had enough?”

Virgil narrows his eyes at him. “So you don’t wanna have a turn?”

Logan fiddles with his watch. “…I didn’t say that.”

“Marvelous!” Roman claps his hands. “Oh, don’t be so shy, Logan!”

“We know you’ve got notebooks full of ways to fluster us, L,” Virgil adds, “you’re good at it, okay?”

Logan is quite proud of his ability to flirt, although how the others know about his research is a worrying question.

“So,” Roman says cheerfully, “you have two minutes, but you have a harder job than we did.”

Logan frowns and Roman’s grin widens.

“You have two minutes to make Patton melt.”

“Oh, Logan’s screwed,” Virgil chortles, tugging at his hoodie strings, “he’s so wound up right now.”

Well.

Logan gets up, adjusts his tie, and heads for the kitchen, ignoring the way Roman and Virgil scramble up onto the couch to watch.

Patton’s leaning over the counter, pressing his hand to his forehead. He glances up when Logan enters the kitchen and pauses. Contrary to his previous statement, he doesn’t look upset or angry, simply exhausted.

“You too, hmm?”

“I’m afraid so.”

Patton groans, letting his head drop onto the counter. “Did I do something? Or are you all just bored?”

“We’re bored,” Virgil shouts, “and you’re cute!”

“Shh, it’s not your turn anymore!”

“Shut up, Princey.”

Logan rolls his eyes fondly, stepping closer. Patton straightens up, waving a hand.

“Go on. Just get it over with.”

“And I thought Roman was dramatic,” Logan remarks dryly, “but I am not keeping you here. If you truly wish to leave…”

He gestures toward the stairs. Patton glances between him and the stairs.

“…really?”

“By all means,” Logan says, lowering his voice and leaning against the wall to demonstrate he had no intentions of moving, “be my guest.”

He watches, carefully keeping his face blank, as Patton starts to edge around the counter. He eyes the little bit of space he’s left and he can see the moment he realizes it’s not enough.

“Okay,” he says, “I’m gonna go now.”

“I know.” Logan tilts his head and smiles. “I’m not stopping you.”

He stops out of his reach and stares at the gap again. One more little push, then.

“You know…” Logan adjusts his glasses and looks Patton up and down. “You do not seem to be particularly…eager to leave, Patton.” He lets the corner of his mouth turn up into a smirk. “Could it be that…you do not wish to leave?”

Patton takes the bait.

As soon as Patton gets close enough, Logan hooks his foot around his ankle and blocks his exit, not bothering to hide his smirk this time. “However,” he says quietly, “I do have a task to perform.”

“You,” Patton mumbles, closing his eyes, “are mean.”

“Then allow me to make it up to you.” Logan moves, using his weight to push him back into the kitchen. “I have a proposition.”

“Logan…”

Logan smiles, leaning against the counter. “Come here.”

“That sounds awful.” Logan raises his eyebrows. “…okay, okay, I’m coming.”

Patton stops in front of him, his arms wrapped protectively around his waist. He does indeed look very cute.

“Touch can be very grounding for you,” Logan says quietly, careful to keep his voice too low for Roman and Virgil to hear, “so if you like, you may cuddle with me for the duration of the two minutes.”

“…really?”

“Yes, really.” He holds out one hand, palm up. “Or, you may leave. I won’t stop you this time.”

He hugs himself tighter, glancing between the stairs and Logan’s hand. He tilts his head.

“Come here, Patton,” he murmurs.

He takes his hand.

He pulls Patton closer, opening his arms and letting him hug him nervously. He hugs him back, creating a little pocket of intimacy apart from the rest of the room.

“There…” Logan leans down to whisper in his ear. “Isn’t that better? Now you have something to hold onto, something to hide your face, hmm?”

Patton nods, his face buried in his shoulder.

The other thing about having Patton in his arms is that he can murmur directly into his ear, which both prevents Roman and Virgil from hearing anything he’s saying and makes flustering him much, much easier. He says as much, smiling when Patton whines and tightens his grip.

“Do you know what my dare was, Patton?” When he shakes his head, Logan reaches up to gently run his hand through his hair. “It was not, in fact, to fluster you, but to make you melt.”

“M-melt?”

“Yes, dear,” Logan smirks when Patton shudders involuntarily. “Do you like the pet names, little one?”

“Logan…”

“Shh,” he murmurs, running his hand through his hair again, “it’s quite alright, dear. Physical affection helps you relax, pet names make you feel cared for. It makes sense.

“You are a sweetheart. No, no, don’t disagree with me,” he hushes, “you are. You care very much about how you can help other people and you do, sweetheart. It follows that having such affections be returned make you feel good.”

He tightens his grip, cradling his head against his shoulder. “You feel good right now, don’t you, dear?”

“…yes.”

“Then, truly, how can you blame us for wanting to call you so many?” Logan tilts his head a little more. “You always get so flustered by it.”

“No, I don’t…”

“You clearly do,” he purrs, “you’re not hiding it well, dear. I can feel how warm your face is, pressed into me like that.”

As he speaks, he feels it grow warmer still. He chuckles.

“Oh, there’s really no need to be so embarrassed, dear,” he murmurs, “it makes complete sense. Hugs have been proven to decrease stress, reduce blood pressure, and increase the production of oxytocin.“ He smirks. “Quite the addictive drug, no?”

Patton whines and he runs his hand slowly down his spine, pulling his hips against his.

“You are smaller than me—“

“Hey!”

“—you are, which increases the feeling of protection,” he murmurs, “and safety, and thus you will relax.”

He draws the word out with deliberate slowness, the end of it turning into a chuckle as he trembles in his hold.

“That’s it, dear,” he says softly, “relax. Because there’s one more reason you’re going to melt for me.”

Logan pauses, glancing up to see Roman and Virgil staring at them over the edge of the kitchen counter. He smirks and puts his mouth deliberately close to Patton’s ear.

“You care for me, don’t you, Patton,” Logan whispers, his breath ghosting over his neck, “you do, don’t you? You care for me.”

Patton whimpers.

“Say it, dear,” Logan coaxes, “say you care for me?”

“…of course I do,” comes the strangled whisper.

“Of course you do,” he purrs, “of course you do, and here you are…wrapped up in my arms…letting me call you pet names…letting you hide your blush in the crook of my neck…”

He shifts one last time, making sure Roman and Virgil can see. Raising his voice slightly, he cups the back of Patton’s head protectively. He glances at his watch.

“Ready?” He threads his fingers through the baby hairs on the back of Patton’s neck.

“One…two…three, melt for me, dear.”

The two minutes run out just as Patton whines and melts into a blushing little puddle in Logan’s arms.

“Holy shit,” Logan hears Virgil mutter, “he fucking did it.”

“I’m never underestimating him again.” Roman throws his hands up. “He did it in two minutes.”

He tightens his grip, his nails scratching the back of his neck. “Good job, dear.”

And if it makes him shudder and lean into him a little more, well, that’s just something else to add to the notebook.

It’s cathartic; he can wind them up, make them all flustered, and then open his arms and cuddle them right back down, give them the reassurance of getting all worked up in a safe environment where nothing’s really gonna hurt them. Plus, if they’re too tired to protest when he peppers kisses all over them, that’s just a bonus.

Janus—the one whose fault this is—is classic spy movie seduction. Textbook. His silver-tongue makes compliments as smooth as his scales and subtle touches that make their heads spin. Pet names, snarky comments, teasing, the lot of it. He knows they have a thing for his voice. All he has to do most of the time is get close and purr and they’re putty in his hands. Sometimes he’ll stay further away where they have nowhere to hide and just watch them squirm. Sometimes he just has to look at them a certain way and they’re gone. He is the embodiment of using the business end of your weapon to homo-erotically tilt up your opponent’s chin. Rivals Roman for how easy it is for him to make them flustered, but unlike Roman, with him, it’s a toss-up. He knows he’s a lot, and odds are, if he’s going to flirt with them, it’s more likely to be for the catharsis reason and less because they’re fun to play with. (Even though they are.) So, if he’s not having a competition with another Side or in a playful mood, he’s much gentler about it than Roman is, he’ll stop a lot sooner or pull them into his lap for cuddles. Or, like Remus, he’ll just touch them, let them hide their face in the crook of his neck, and just run his hands over them. It’s a perfect combination of grounding and flustering. Plus, warmth is good for snakes and there’s nothing warmer than a bright, flushed, flustered face. Totally doesn’t fluster people on purpose to steal their body heat.

Remus is by far the only side where his approaches are completely different depending on who it is. Virgil is flustered very easily by his innuendos and everything, the more audacious, the better. Sometimes it resorts to the two of them having a flirt-off, the loser hiding their face while the victor cackles. Or Remus will make something that totally isn’t an innuendo into one and Virgil’s gone. For Logan, often he’ll just find him and tackle him onto the nearest surface, flopping down on top of him like a cat and listening as Patton starts verbally vomiting as he gets redder and redder. But overt sexual references make Patton and Janus really really uncomfortable, so it’s the bad kind of flustered. Instead, he’ll just find them and cuddle them and loudly explain how they are in fact the best cuddler. He finds how embarrassed they get very amusing. And if it has the side effect of summoning everyone else to a cuddle pile both because of the outrageous idea that anyone is better at cuddling than them and also free cuddles, well. Oops.

So yeah. It’s a fucking mess.

At least it’s a hot mess, right?

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#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #logan sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #remus sanders #lamp #dlamp #dlampr

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fakeloveaskblog · 3 years

Note

aw, sweet loceit in the evening sun. logan is actually super good at explaining healthy relationships and boundaries and stuff actually, i betcha he could recognize abuse no problem

…aye remy! REMY!! HAve you thought about going to that gay bar more often? who knows, maybe you'll encounter someone nice, make friends with like-minded people, hear some disco, the full nine yards. janus might be there, remus might be there. (just look around for the guy with the blue tie, he's a great guy, if he's not wearing it he'll look like he has that blue tie kinda energy! you could totally just get drunk and unload your grievances on him and i bet he won't even mind!)

(Mentions of U!Virgil but I say beforehand when that happens so those who don’t like U!Virgil can enjoy the rest of the fic up until then)

(Words: 4100)

Remy wiped away a tear while looking at your message. The cold light from their phone was the only thing brightening up the room. Virgil was sleeping beside them, his arm was laid around their waist.

"You just like tots gave me the greatest idea! I'm gonna invite Rem out to the bar! It's gonna the funnest thing like ever! Thanks girl!!"

2 days later Remus was dangerously close to eating the moss straight from the gay bar's wall. He had been left without supervision for over 15 minutes while he sat outside waiting for his friend to show up, what else was he supposed to do?!

"SSSSUUUP BABE!!!"

Remy came towards him as fast as they could. They had on a short leather skirt, a neon mesh crop top and a leather jacket over it.

They did a little turn "I just like felt a bit glamorous today!"

Remus choked on his own spit "The world must be a dark place when you aren't feeling glamorous"

"Awwww babbbe"

He sent them a big grin. He'd just put on his usual oversized dysphoria hoodie and matching oversized (:O) sweatpants.

Remus' smile disappeared in an instant as he noticed dark bruises all around Remy's neck. Shades of purple and green collided against each other.

"Ehm did a vampire come and attack you last night? Seriously are you alri-"

"JUst a reminder that it will be loud in there" Remy interrupted.

"Oh. Right!"

He fumbled around in his bag after his headphones. After putting it and a chew necklace on he did a thumbs up. Remy took off their sunglasses and leaned down so they were face to face.

Their face was so close he could feel their breathe against his lips. They put the sunglasses onto him and sent him a soft smile.

“There’s like lots of bright lights too” They explained.

Remus’ heart fluttered. He didn’t understand why “T-thanks”

They moved their arm around his shoulders as they went into the bar. It was past 12 am so some of the daytime furniture had been moved to make place for a dancefloor. There was indeed lots of neon lights flickering all around the bar and fast pop music was blasting through the speakers.

It was hard to see any details of anyone around him so Remus quickly forgot about the bruise. In this lighting it just looked like a weird choker anyway.

A guy with a see through shirt bumped into Remus. He had top surgery scars. For a moment they looked at each other in the most knowing way. The stranger looked away and continued talking with whoever he was with.

Remus whole body seemed to vibrate. There were so many butterflies in his stomach it felt like he was going to puke, in a good way.

Remy sat him down on one of the tall barstools and slumped down right next to him “So whatcha gonna drink?”

“The squashed down organs of my enemies!!!” He shrugged “Soda?”

They burst out into laughter “What? You catholic or something? Not allowed to drink alcohol?”

He slumped in on himself and started fiddling with his necklace “I-I dunno-”

“No. No babe I was just like joking. Like a stupid bitch. It’s okay” They waved at the waiter “Your most alcoholic fruit mix and your finest coca cola please!”

Remus leaned in to whisper “With salt”

“With salt? Please!”

He kept vibrating like an overexcited weasel. After getting their drinks he kept tapping the glass to stim some of the happiness out.

“Honestly I’ve never been to a gay bar before. I’m digging it. Just like how I’m digging graves”

They playfully hit his shoulder “Then I’m tots gonna try my best to make this the ultimate first gay bar experience! I can’t think of any other lil fucked up gremlin buddy I would wanna have by my side!”

"Muhahah!! I am officially assigned ultimate gremlin buddy-”

“Greetings” A voice suddenly came from behind them.

Both of them flinched away. Remy let out a short yell and Remus was close to throwing his drink in the person’s face when he saw it was just Logan.

He had on jeans and a black button up with the top button unbottoned. He had with him iced coffee from starbucks because he had to drive home later.

“LOGIE!!!” Remy threw their arms around his neck to pull him closer “Babe this is the Log-legend. Once he was like sooo drunk so when he like tried to kiss me puked on my shoes instead!”

Logan grimaced “I am still very sorry about that”

“Oh I already know him through Janus” Remus replied.

“Oh my gawd babe” Remy looked between them all “So like we all know Janny?! Wig! Sad he isn’t here then”

Remus held up his cola “Cheers to J-anus!” The other two held up their glasses in agreement.

“Cheers”

“Cheerio!”

“He is very pretty and charming and cute” Logan dreamily sighed. He stopped himself from continuing to say compliments.

“Yeah” The other two sighed back in unison.

Logan sat down on a chair next to them. Remy looked around the bar before squinting at him “No Patty?”

He instantly started looking like a Very sad seal “Sadly my wife is away on a convention with her magical girl anime fanclub this whole week. I estimated that going to the bar would make me feel less lonely”

“You have a WIFe??? Like a real one???” Remus exclaimed, his eyeballs were close to popping out from surprise.

“Yes. This may be a controversial opinion but when I marry someone I prefer them to be physically real” He replied druly.

He got a smug grin on his lips “Does she peg you?”

“She does far more than just peg me”

“Nice!” His eyes went even wider “IS That a stim toy??!”

He pointed at the tangle Logan kept between his fingers “Correct. If I do not have something to relieve my focus onto I can easily go into senso- OH a chewie?”

Remus nodded while showing of his chew necklace. The two of them started rambling about their favorite stim toy. Until they went off into special interests (star trek/astronomy and art/animal biology respectively).

Soon enough Remus was showing pictures of the animal bones he’d found. Logan ooeh and ahhed at all of them before asking the most nerdy of questions (where he’d found them, their bone density, if any damage had been done to them) which only made Rem infodump which made Lo infodump which made them both happy stim.

Meanwhile Remy sat beside them completely zoned out. They got time to drink 2 more of those fruit mixes and a few shots. The room was starting to spin.

The loud music wasn’t keeping out the yelling. They dunked their forehead against the bar table and covered their ears to try and get it out. The music was supposed to keep it out! Why was nothing working! The bruise ached. Their throat closed in on itself until they couldn’t breathe.

“Remus” They gasped out. They looked over to their friend with a desperate look in their eyes. They just needed a distraction.

“So my theory for why you keep finding bones in specifically that part of the woods is because of the kind of dirt making it take longer for them to deco-” Logan was explaining while Remus nodded along.

“Rem! L-let’s like go up and dance or something. Please”

This time it caught Remus’ attention. He looked over to them “Sure- are you feeling alright? Did you drink too much? You’re looking like a mummy”

“Yes. No. I just like- Like- They’re playing Charli xcx of course we gotta like dance!!”

“I will protect your belongings then” Logan added.

Remy stumbled up on shaky legs. Remus sent them a warm smile that made them want to cry before taking their hand. He let them lead him out to the dancefloor. Honestly he was pretty nervous about it, but being with them always made some of the anxiety melt away.

They stumbled on their own feet and fell forward. Their friend took ahold of their wrists and pulled them close to his chest. Their faces were so close to each other. So so close.

He didn’t let go. They couldn't remember him ever letting them hold him this close. Their chests pressed against each other. Their arms around his shoulders. His hands on their back.

"You’re right. It is a good song. Good to crash a car too" Remus said absentmindedly.

Remy let up into shaky giggles from how sudden he’d said it “Yeah. Yeah I guess”

They kept giggling. He chuckled back. He started spinning around on the dancefloor. They moved with him. His arms wrapped closer around their waist. Their cheek leaned against the slope of his neck (even though they had to lean down to get on his height level).

Remy quietly sang along to the music which made Remus start yelling along to it. The enby threw their head back from laughter. They took his hand and intertwined their fingers.

Remus moved his hand out and spun them around before pulling them close again. Their cheeks were flushed red, his was as well. He playfully dipped them down when the song ended.

It continued on into a song neither of them knew but they kept dancing anyway. They didn’t stay as pressed close to each other but they always had some contact. Holding hands. An arm around a waist. A head leaning against a chest.

When they finally got back to the bar table they were both panting. Remy was completely leaning on Remus since their body had started to hurt, but even through the pain they were both bubbling over with so much happiness they kept breaking out into bouts of giggling.

To their surprise Logan wasn’t sitting alone. A tall person with long dark hair sat on the chair beside him. Xir hand was on his thigh. The nerd had a soft smile on his face as they leant close to talk.

“Uh Lo?” Remus had to wave his arms around to get his attention.

His head shot around to look at them “Hello” He glanced to the person “These are the ones I was protecting belongings for” He stood up and held out his hand “Shall we?” Xir took it. Logan waved at his friends before going off to the dancefloor with the stranger.

“Huh. Good for him”

“I guess”

Remy ordered another high alcohol fruit mix. Remus happily chewed on his necklace while humming along to the music. Between their chairs their hands hang with their fingers intertwined. Holding their hand had started to make Remus feel all funny in the head for some reason.

The enby watched on as Logan and the stranger danced for a bit before moving to a corner to make out. When the stranger started to lead him towards the bar’s bathrooms Remy turned to their friend.

“Yeah okay he’s not coming back for like a while. Smoke break?”

“Of course!”

They finished their drink before leaving the bar. The pair stopped right outside. Remus sat down on the side of the pavement. Remy tried to sit down but they stumbled over themself and fell flat on the ground.

Remus got up to help “Are you okay? Are you sure you haven’t drank too much?”

“I’m fine. I’m fine” They laughed out.

He sat them down on the pavement while dusting off their clothes. He patted them on the head while pouting “You should get some water”

“Naaaah babe. I’m good”

In the moonlight the bruise was visible again. That horrible dark purple bruise around their neck. It looked like it hurt.

Remus put his hand on their shoulder “Beanie are you alright? I do know it wasn’t some halloween monster that got you that bruise”

For a moment their whole body tensed, they forced a smile “It’s fine. me and my boyf just tried like some new kinky shit in the bedroom y’know. Nothing more” They lied.

They took out a cigarette pack and a lighter from their bag. They traced their thumb over Remus’ lower lip and opened his mouth just slightly. Remy leaned closer while putting a cigerette between his lips. They lit it.

Remus took a deep breathe. It’d been a while since he’d last smoked. He leaned so close the cigarette nearly touched Remy’s skin. They parced their lips as he breathed out the smoke right into their mouth.

A smile spread on their lips. He held the cigarette over to them but they shook their head. They looked around in their bag again and took out a small poppers bottle.

“Should you really take that. Won’t your brain melt out of your ears?” Remus asked “I really don’t wanna have to slorp up your brain juice...yet”

“Relax babe. It’s like not dangerous as long as I don’t like take too much and I only take when partying” It took a moment before they quietly added “And I only party when I need to get out of the apartement”

“What?”

They forced on a bigger smile “What?”

Remy moved the popper up to their nose and inhaled as much of it as they could. It took a few seconds before they let up into a giggle. It was in a higher tone than their usual bubbly laugh, it almost sounded like cackling. They could see stars.

(U!Virgil mentions from here on out)

“Y’know my boyfriend gave me like a flashback or whatever last night” They giggled while swaying from side to side.

Remus gently grabbed their shoulders and moved them to lean against him so they wouldn’t fall over “Uhu. Did you stab him?”

“No silly. He just. He’d been soooo sweet all weeek and I just I just ruined it ‘cause i like overeacted to some joke he made while like we were washing the dishes” They were barely even aware they were speaking “And like it just kept going until we were like screaming at each other”

Remy was still smiling and giggling between every word but tears started to form in their eyes. Their fingers felt numb. Bile was rising in their throat.

“And he just like threw the plate he was holding down on the ground. And it like didn’t hit me. He wasn’t even aiming at me. He was just throwing it at the ground. But it shattered and it was so stupid and overemotional and stupid and pathetic but I just I just curled up on the floor and like had a panic attack like a stupid baby”

They smeared their hand across their face to try and get the tears away. They felt sick. Remus quickly put out his cigarette, it didn’t feel like the right time to smoke.

“And I just like- Is that normal? Is that fine? Like throwing stutff like that? I-I- he’s never done it before. Or I mean like not plates” They looked up at Remus “Is it fine?”

He gulped while fiddling with his hoodie sleeve “Well uh did he apologize?”

“Mhmm. He like- like for some minutes he like kept yelling ‘cause he thought I was just like faking a panic attack to like I dunno manipulate him but then he like comforted me and like calmed me down and like held me and cuddled all night until I fell asleep and- and he said sorry a bunch of times and like he said it would never happen again. He uh usually doesn’t lie”

“Well ehm then it should be fine right? Right?” They both shrugged at each other “I mean everyone can make mistakes! And it was during an argument! Everyone does drastic things during an arguments! So it’s fine. I think”

A shaking breathe of relief left Remy’s lips. They stretched themself over his lap and he moved his arms around them. “Thanks babe. I was like tots worried for a bit but y’know i was thinking like that too. So it’s fine”

“Yeah” He combed his fingers through their hair “You do know you can vent to me whenever right? I promise I won’t gross you out with details about how to pull out rabbit teeth ever again so if I can hold that back then I can also listen to stuff! I can super listen!!”

They closed their eyes. They felt so tired. So tired and sick and horrible. “Mhm. I know babe. I know”

Remy sent him a soft smile before suddenly puking. Some of it came on his pants but mostly on the ground. Remus stood up and carefully moved them down to a sitting position.

He rubbed up and down their back with one hand and held their hair back with his other. Their shoulders were shaking and they were taking in shallow breathes between every sudden throw up.

“It’s okay beanie-boo. Breathe. Breathe. You got all the time in the world. Until the sun blows up at least”

“I-I took- too much- too much” They slurred out before lurching forward again. It seemed to stop for now.

“I’m aware” He carefully wiped away some of the puke left around their mouth with his hoodie sleeve.

They leaned back against his chest. They closed their eyes and focused on breathing. He held them so so gently. As if they would break like glass otherwise. He pressed a kiss to the top of their head.

“There you are!” Logan said as came through the bar entrance “What a relief. I assumed you had left without me because you thought my actions were unacceptable” He noticed how pale and shaky Remy looked and got a worried look on his face “Is everything alright?”

“They feel like someone has slammed a fish into their stomach. Not good” Remus replied.

“I see. I suppose it woud be best to get them home”

Logan picked Remy up with ease to carry them to his car. He was quite sure he’d carried dogs that weighted more than them. Remus anxiously followed along.

He sat them in the passenger seat. He shook their shoulders until they opened their eyes. They let out a quiet whine.

He held up 4 fingers “Remy how many fingers am I holding up?”

“Fuck yourself”

“Noted”

They moved to the side and seemed to pass out again. Logan closed the door before turning to Remus.

“Did they take anything?” He whispered.

“Only a popper”

“Good. Do you need a ri-”

“Bus”

“Okay” Logan was about to go but stopped midstep and lowered his voice even more “Oh and Rem...Could you please not ask Janus to hang out next weekend? I am planning a surprise...I hope it will make him happy”

“Good luck comrade....Please text me once Remy is home safe. Please?”

“Of course”

He did a little nod before leaving. Logan got into the car. He couldn’t stop looking at the bruise around their neck. Remy continued to sleep for most of the ride until they they were 5 minutes or so away from their apartment. They suddenly flinched awake.

“Stop the car!” They gasped out.

“Are you still feeling the same?”

“Logan stop the fucking car!” There was fear in their eyes.

Logan stopped by the side of the road. The road was barren and dark. It had to be past 3 am at least. Remy crawled back into the backseats while their whole body shook.

“Don’t. Look. At. Me”

“Sure” He stared down into the steering wheel to not accidentally see their reflection in the glass.

“I just. I just have to change clothes. I just. I don’t want Virigl to call me a whore again. I mean. He won’t. But what if. What if he gets mad. I just. I just have to change” They slurred out.

They stumbled out of the car after changing into a pair of long pants and closing their leather jacket. A cold chill went up Logan’s spine. He quickly stepped out of the car as well.

“Okay bye bye Logie!!”

They tried to move but Logan grabbed onto their shoulders. He forced back a choking feeling in his throat “What do you mean by your boyfriend getting mad?”

“Pff! It’s nothing! I’m drunk!! Byyyeeeeee”

They started to stumble away but Logan easily followed along “It did not sound like he called you a whor-...you know what...with your consent. I am simply going to remind you that calling a partner things like that is not okay. Not in any circumstance”

Remy’s expression turned cold. They walked faster “I don’t like what you’re implying”

“I’m not implying anything”

“Yes you Fucking are!”

“Exscuse me for being worried about your wellbeing. What you just said sounded like a very bad sign”

“Yeah exactly it only SOUnded bad! My boyfriend isn’t bad!” Remy snarled out.

“I am not saying he is. He doesn’t have to be bad to say awful things, as long as he changes”

They shoved their hands into their pockets. Their hands moved into fists “You don’t know a fucking thing about me. You tried to kiss me once when you were drunk and that’s all. We don’t know each other”

Logan took a deep breathe “I don’t need to know you to see red flags. Remy-” He searched for words “Remy you’re bruised. How- you can’t expect me to not get worried”

Remy suddenly stopped and turned around to meet his eyes. “MY BOYFRIEND ISN’T ABUSIVE! I-”

“I’m not necessarily saying he is. I just wan’t to talk-” His voice started to sound desperate.

They looked like a cornered animal. Tears were brimming at the edges of their eyes “YOU DON’T KNOW A THING!”

“Remy-”

“I DID THIS TO MYSELF!” Their hand went up to the bruise “I DESERVED IT! VIRGIL DIDN’T DO A FUCKING THING! I DID! I TOOK A BELT AND HURT MYSELF! OKAY?! VIRGIL CARES ABOUT ME!”

He tried to sound soothing “Remy please take a deep breathe-”

“NO! NO! YOU KNOW WHAT LOGAN?! THERE IS STILL CUM ON YOUR FUCKING LIPS FROM YOU SUCKING OFF SOME STRANGER IN A DIRTY BATHROOM! SO NO! I AM NOT TAKING LOVE ADVICE FROM SOMEONE WHO IS CHEATING ON HIS GODDAMN WIFE!”

They stormed away. For a moment Logan was frozen in place before he forced himself to run after them to try and make sure they would be okay.

“I am not-”

Remy looked at him for one last time. The look in their eyes made him feel cold. It was pure hatred.

“Logan get the fuck away from me! I am drunk and high and alone on a street with no one but you who is sure as hell fucking stronger than me and all you’re doing is spouting bullshit! So please get why I want you to leave. And why I don’t ever want you to talk to me again!”

He stopped dead in his tracks “...Right....Yes....I am so sorry”

Remy didn’t even respond. They simply turned and walked away. Logan stayed and watched to make sure they got home to the apartment safe before going back to his car.

He slumped down in the seat. His heart was racing and his thoughts were for once an illogical flurry. He sat motionless for several minutes before finally getting some semblence of an idea.

He took out his phone and dialed one of his usual numbers. It took several signals before Emile Picani picked up.

“Mhm? Logie bear? I can’t today I have clients in the morning” He yawned out.

“This is about one of your patients. I am fearing that they are in danger”

In an instant all of the sleepyness in Emile’s voice disappeared “In danger? Physical? Is it urgent? Do I need to call someone? Which patient are you even referring to?”

Logan hesitated. If Remy had reacted that strongly to him just attempting to ask about his boyfriend it was very likely that they would stop going to therapy if Emile brought it up. His throat tightened, he didn’t want to put them in any more danger.

“I....Nevermind Emile....This was just a far too gone joke...Someone dared me to call you. I am sorry. Have a good night”

He ended the call. He leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and let out a long sigh. His hands held onto the wheel so hard his knuckles whitened.

Logan had no idea what to do. No idea at all. All he knew was fear. Fear for Remy’s safety. Fear for their well being. Fear that anything he did would only make their situation worse.

#mini fic #remus sanders #logan sanders #remy sanders #sanders sides #remsleep #resleep #rem^2 #these sure keep getting longer huh #its past 4 am #fun

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