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#i will have more thoughts about this whole conversation eventually i'm sure
microclown · 3 months
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I was rewatching s1e3 and something finally clicked for me..
Please forgive me if this seems obvious to you. It helps me to type out my thoughts, but I'm sure I'm just an idiot and no one else needs this explained to them, lol. That said - I was always slightly confused by the emotional weight of the holy water arc during the flashback sequence. Particularly I was confused by how angry Crowley got when Aziraphale referred to their relationship as fraternizing in the 1862 fight. I mean, "to associate or form a friendship with someone, especially when one is not supposed to" is exactly what they are doing, right? So why the 80 year breakup?
Crowley says he wants the holy water for if "it" all goes pear shaped. The phrasing is necessarily vague, and could mean lots of things. Since I know what he eventually uses it for, I was thinking about it in the context of Armageddon, or maybe more generally and vaguely about Crowley not always choosing to go along with Hell, and associating with Aziraphale. But there was not much reason for Crowley to already be thinking about Armageddon back then.
As we know from the full diary entry Neil posted, the timeline of the Edinburgh entry, and the cut bookshop opening scene, it seems like Crowley and Aziraphale were spending A LOT of time together by the 1800's. When Crowley is pulled back down to Hell in 1827, he learns that Hell is paying more attention to him than he'd previously thought. Crowley realizes at this point that spending so much time with Aziraphale is actively putting him in real danger. He recognizes that, and instead of breaking things off, or seeing Aziraphale less, he doubles down. If this relationship is dangerous, then he wants the tools to fight for it.
That's what I think I didn't get about the holy water request. It's not just general insurance, it's specifically insurance for if Hell finds out about him and Aziraphale. It's also a super vulnerable request because in making it, Crowley is openly acknowledging how important their relationship is to him. Aziraphale casually brings up the arrangement at the beginning of the conversation, and that's part of it, right? Because the whole basis of their relationship is the arrangement. It continues to be the pretense under which they meet, despite the relationship clearly having developed beyond that. And the arrangement, as Crowley proposed it in 537, is born out of convenience, and the assumption that Heaven and Hell would never notice anyway.
Crowley's request for insurance breaks that facade. He's acknowledging that it's not convenient, or safe, but he wants to do it anyway, despite the risk.
Aziraphale, on the other hand, is not ready for the screen to be taken away so abruptly. To make it worse, he assumes Crowley wants the holy water as an escape, rather than a weapon. Suddenly he is confronted with both the danger their association poses, and the idea that Crowley might choose to take his own life. He can't imagine the guilt of being directly responsible for the latter.
I also think the strength of his own emotional response to the thought of losing Crowley catches Aziraphale off guard. He hasn't admitted to himself how much he actually cares, and it scares him. Worrying about Heaven is more comfortable and familiar, so he falls back on that and switches to "If they knew I'd been... fraternizing!"
But bringing up the threat of Heaven reads to Crowley as Aziraphale saying "You may be willing to put yourself at risk for the sake of our relationship, but I am not." The word choice of "fraternizing" comes off as a dismissive and demeaning way to describe a relationship that Crowley just admitted he would risk his life for.
It's an unintentionally deep cut when Crowley is already at his most vulnerable, and so he lashes out. As far as we've seen, this is possibly the first time Crowley has truly lashed out at Aziraphale. So yeah, 80 year breakup makes sense!
And what makes this so much worse is what happens next. Crowley reaches out again in 1941 with a dramatic gesture (rescuing Aziraphale from the Nazis, saving his books). It's clear they've missed each other. They don't discuss the fight, but it's there subtextually. Aziraphale, tentatively and thrillingly, refers to them as friends, for the first time ever. He tells Crowley that he trusts him.
And then, that very same night their worst fears are confirmed. Just when they've finally reconciled a fight over the dangers of their relationship, and just when Aziraphale has finally admitted that it is not a relationship of convenience, but genuine friendship, they are exposed. Crowley is going to face punishment from Hell, explicitly for being Aziraphale's "trusted confident", and he doesn't have insurance. If Aziraphale's trick hadn't succeeded, Crowley would have had no way to protect himself.
idk it just makes me feel things ok
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No More Sad Songs for Mr Norris - LN
Summary: Lando exposes his sunshine girlfriend on stream who might just be the one to change his top 5 for his Spotify wrapped 2024 for some happier songs.
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Lando doesn't think of himself as an especially sad person, he has his moments. His days where things feel harder and after his failed attempt at a relationship he spent a lot of 2023 thinking that focusing on racing is the only way to really enjoy the year in any way despite the obvious.
But the Summer break changed things when he met y/n.
Oh y/n.
He'd never been such a romantic to believe that love at first sight exists. Especially when he'd met her via Max during a visit home. She worked at the the karting track they were using for the video and honestly, he didn't think he'd ever see her again.
Her whole aura was something magical, a beaming ball of sunshine without even having to smile.
Admittedly, he didn't make a move in that moment. A tug in his chest told him even if he did find the courage to speak to a woman who was obviously out of even his league, she had to be in a relationship.
So he let his wingman handle getting the two together. Still didn't happen that day. Instead Max suggested the karting spot for Lando to test out his own LNkart as he did as often as possible. Which wasn't as often as he'd like.
After a weak performance in Monza from the McLaren team. He flew over and got to the karting track where Max agreed to be simply as moral support.
Though eventually after some awkward conversation that was earning more confusion from y/n than endearment. Max dropped the bombshell and left the two of them to talk, or more specifically for Lando to grow some balls and ask the poor girl on a date rather than stuttering and stumbling through irrelevant conversation.
Things weren't perfect for the first month or so but now Lando is on the winter break, he's invited her to join him in Monaco for a few weeks since he'll be going back over to England for the holidays anyway.
She did attend a couple of the race weekends, dodging the ones his family were in attendance for aside from Abu Dhabi because she was nervous about meeting Adam and Cisca. After all it would be hard not to be nervous about it. But the parents loved her and they thought the fact that she lived and worked in England was amazing, because he meant Lando might be home even more often. Not that he isn't home a lot, but they do miss him being so close ever since he moved.
Despite there not being much effort put into keeping their young relationship secret. No one had clocked onto his relationship status change. Or if they did, no one had made the effort to comment on it and given the explosive reaction to his ex from his fans, making hate pages just because she was his girlfriend.
With his time off, he's got back into streaming and he's already sharing his Spotify wrapped proving that actually he's had quite a year of sad songs.
He's streaming while y/n is in the other room occupying herself with Netflix and the McLaren car lego set that Lando had left her with as if she was a toddler needing something to keep her attention in his absence. Of course it worked and she has been working her way through building it.
It's during his music break that Lando remembers how long he'd left y/n on her own and mutes his mic.
"Baby?" Lando calls out shifting his headphones and with a smashing sound, he regrets having remembered her out there on her own.
"Son of a bitch! Fucking bastard." Y/n's voice exclaims before soft padding footsteps near the room and he can't help smiling at her as she appears at the doorway. "You called?"
"I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were alright." Lando laughs then holding his hand out to her which makes her hesitate. He might not put much thought into the lack of public knowledge of the relationship but she certainly did. "It's ok."
Y/n smiles stepping into the frame of the camera and immediately in his ears Filly and Angry Ginge are questioning who the chat are exploding about.
"Say hi to the boys. They've been arguing." Lando states making her break into that sunny smile that he has to reflect the expression of.
"Hi guys." Y/n greets into the mic making the two men explode questioning who the hell that is since they weren't aware of any woman in Lando's life either. "I'm y/n."
"They want to know what you're doing here and-hey behave. This is my girlfriend, don't talk about her like that."
"I've found her Instagram. Well hello there, y/n. Lando I'm going to steal your girl." Filly declares jokingly while Lando glares and y/n frowns in confusion since she can't hear the other man.
"What'd he say?"
"Nothing. He's just being a twat." Lando smiles then looking up at her. "I can see you want to get back to the lego that I fucked up. When I finish up here I'll come help."
Y/n smiles leaning down and kissing him softly with a mumbled "ok, thank you" before she moves out with Lando sliding his chair to follow her out of frame and smacking her ass.
"Lando!" She gasps as he shoots himself back into frame knowing she won't attack on camera.
"What?" He shoots back innocently before he grins while she disappears from the room making him focus back on the stream.
He possibly should've expected that she might come back for revenge so when a cushion is thrown with full force knocking his headphones.
"Ah baby!" Lando laughs loudly while trying to readjust his headphones. "So violent."
"I like this girl and I don't even know her. But y/n is already a favourite of mine. If she ever dumps you, let her know I'm available." AngryGinge states while Lando rolls his eyes.
"Are you bored, baby?" Lando smiles since he knows that she's probably given up on the Lego till he joins her. "Do you want to stay in here and watch?"
"Yes." Y/n nods bouncing a little since she's never got to be involved and watch him play on stream. Or even really in his set up on and of his games because usually when she's been in Monaco it's only been for short stints and Lando has focused on her being there over his video games or streaming.
"Hold on boys, I'm just getting y/n set up she wants to sit in and watch."
"Bro, you treat your girlfriend like a toddler. You left her with lego and now she's going to just watch you play." Filly laughs while Lando grins moving the cushioned chair closer.
"Whatever keeps her happy." Lando smiles while y/n curls up in the chair pulling her knees to her chest and resting her chin on top of them. "Are you ok there, baby?"
"Yeah. I'm good." She nods making him nod before he looks at her for a moment to make sure. "I'm good."
-
There's a pause where Lando ends up playing music and exposing his Spotify wrapped which makes y/n pout.
"Why are all the songs so sad, baby?" Y/n asks softly making him look at her and smile.
"I spent most of the year single."
"Oh right, well then I guess it's my job to improve it for 2024?"
"Yeah, I'm putting that all on you." Lando jokes while she grins at him and that's when he notices how tired she looks. "You can go to bed if you're tired, baby. You don't have to wait for me."
"No. I want to stay and watch." Y/n pouts then moving over. "Can I make a request?"
"Yes. Come here, free reign." Lando nods patting his lap making her shift up sitting on his lap before she puts Something In The Orange on. "Awww...this isn't a happy song."
"I know, I said I have to make your Spotify happy not mine." Y/n smiles then leaning back perfectly timed with the "when you place your head between my collar and jaw" line which makes Lando wrap an arm around her, moving to kissing her temple.
"Oh the chat is eating this up." Lando laughs while she hums clearly more tired than she just admitted. "Should I finish up on here and then we can call it a night?"
"Ok." She nods in defeat since choosing this song has really tugged her towards the realm of sleep and actually she's on the verge of being out cold. "But uhhh...ummm..."
Lando smiles being able to see her in the camera just completely begin to fall asleep.
"Mate, had your lass just passed out on you?" AngryGinge questions making Lando smile not wanting to laugh in fear of waking her up.
"I'm going to have to go boys. Put her to bed."
"Let he know, I'm rooting for her to make your Spotify happier because she's right it's depressing and if you got a girl like that. You better be happy about it." Filly comments in a moment of seriousness from him. "And let her know when she gets bored, I'm always a shoulder to cry on or a friend to turn to."
"Fuck off. Bye boys, this was fun." Lando laughs ending the stream and logging off the game.
Lando knows that actually it'd be impossible for his music to not take on a happier element purely because his girlfriend is the embodiment of sunshine. For him to listen to depressing music while in a relationship with her, it feels criminal to even think about being sad when he's got someone like her in his life.
"I love you." Lando whispers as she stirs from her sleep when he shifts her so he can carry her.
"I love you too." She murmurs hardly audible but he catches the words with a grin.
He's definitely happier going into 2024 than he was coming into 2023.
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kleewie · 3 months
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i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you (and i)
summary: dating tip? just don't. for celebrities, romantic relationships are absolutely forbidden. the slightest hint of one could ruin your career. but are you even listening to the lecture? doubt it, 'cause you're doing the complete opposite. (alternatively, a celebrity au featuring secret relationships.)
→ featuring: childe, & ayato (you can really tell who my faves are)
→ warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, slight cursing, established relationship, mentions of alcohol and drinking, tension, actual cursing, unreliable reader pov, gender-neutral reader (i apologize if i missed things, i haven't proofread it yet)
→ a/n: so, hi! long time no see? i was pretty stressed with college and well, i'm back! i began writing this last year and finally got the courage to finish it. but here it is and i hope you enjoy it :> please let me know if you like it <3 it really makes my day!
credits to @dumplingsjinson for the prompts!
beware, lengthy post ahead! more under the cut!
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the debut.
“forbidden?” you repeat.
“absolutely forbidden!” your manager says. “a rookie with no fanbase? a scandal will ruin your reputation! you're absolutely forbidden from dating anyone.”
you sigh. he's being too overdramatic.
you will never be in a relationship, you're absolutely sure. how can you? with no time for yourself as it is, dating someone with the limited hours you already have sounds impractical.
besides, you're too busy training and practicing for auditions.
remembering it now, you want to laugh.
i told you so, your thoughts chastise.
god, you should've listened.
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childe, the actor
“that's a wrap!” the director cheers.
your eyes glisten as you hold back tears. it's embarrassing, you think. so damn embarrassing.
you've been repeating the same kissing scene multiple times now. obviously, the director cheers for finally completing the take and not because you did a good job.
childe pats your back. “you did great,” he says, with a smile.
but you know the gesture so goddamn well. the same nonchalant cold grin he throws at everyone that he now directs at you? oh, he's angry alright.
for what reason? who knows. you're too busy wallowing in self-despair over how terrible your acting is.
the scene is supposedly simple. it involves the second lead, who happens to be you, confessing their love to the leading man, resulting to a spontaneous kiss.
yet, you're fumbling over the lines, acting so out of character, tripping over set, incorrectly initiating the kiss at awkward angles—the whole time-wasting squander.
“what's going on?” childe eventually asks, once he arrives at your shared apartment. his bag drops to the floor with a flop. “you're acting strange. the entire crew sees it, i see it, the director sees it—what if he decides to fire you? what will you do then?”
you swallow dryly. you left the set early hoping childe's hectic schedule prompted him to forget the whole issue. yet, here he is finally bringing up the conversation after what feels like a month's worth of tension.
as you sit on the sofa chair, your fingers massage the bridge of your nose. breathe in, breathe out. you repeat. don't cry. you try to calm yourself down as a sob tries to break through.
eight months, you've been a couple.
but, there are some things you're afraid to say.
each year, the biggest tabloid newspaper in the country releases an article on celebrity dating scandals. a month ago they released one single page article about a popular actor dating a newbie actress. it barely had any juicy details, just a simple paragraph of a somebody dating a nobody.
yet, it did not end well for them. and you're terrified; for when it could happen to you.
you imagine it. dozens of messages and multiple missed phone calls on your cell as your name becomes the next talk of the town. the headline reads: revealed! a nobody actress, the second-lead from the northland bank saga currently dates the nation's boyfriend, childe!
it terrifies you. you could lose your job. lose what you love doing the most. and you could get tossed aside like an old sweater under someone's bed, left to rot and decompose.
so, yes. you hesitated earlier at set because you don't want anyone to connect the dots. to look at the kiss between you two and notice something amiss. to speculate that there's more to your relationship than what meets the eye. to realize you look at him as more than a co-star. to see how much you're in love with him. to realize the both of you are dating.
“it's not easy.” you say, releasing a sigh.
two years you've been in the business. rookies barely get any roles as it is. being in a well-received rendition of an old romance drama is a once in a blue moon opportunity and you can't risk someone finding out about your relationship.
“camera shy? no—you've kissed heaps of actors for that school drama.”
you mumble, “two people aren't heaps of actors, tartaglia.”
“then what is the problem?”
childe saunters to where you sit. he leans towards you and presses his palm on the head of the sofa, trapping your body between his and the chair. childe's eyes meet yours and you instantly look away.
he knows you well enough to comprehend that look on your face. the way you hide your clammy hands behind you, the manner of your eyes staring only at your feet, how your body tucks itself into the corner of the seat.
“me?” childe whispers.
he places a hand under your jaw. his thumb softly pushes your chin upwards so your eyes meet his.
“why?” he pleads.
“you won't understand.”
“i will if you tell me,” he says, holding your gaze. seeing how you relentlessly persist on keeping your mouth shut, he shakes his head. “oh, please tell me.”
you hesitate. you tell him and then what?
you could say: hey, childe! i'm afraid of our relationship being discovered. i'll be hated by your fans. you'll be constantly drained by my crying and whining. your reputation would take a hit regardless of how popular you are and—and then he'll finally realize how exhausting and annoying it is being with you.
your self-deprecation loves to pull you deeper into its sapping embrace. you're nothing, it mouths. childe would dump you and find some other actor or actress to date. god. it would be so easy. with his popularity, good looks, and charming personality, he'd find a better and talented rising-star the moment he chucks you out the front door.
so, you shake your head firmly.
“tell me, please.” he whispers.
you cross your arms, and look away.
“are you sick?”
you shake your head.
“somebody hurting you on set?”
again, you shake your head.
childe pauses, “...do you have feelings for someone else?”
“no!”
“then what is the damn problem?”
“nothing!” you exasperate, furrowing your brows together.
childe takes your reluctance as distrust and it ignites his irritation. do you not trust him? is he that insignificant to you? what are you hiding? hell, did you fall for the main lead of the show, zhongli? or do you not love him anymore? god, he can feel himself suffocate in resentment.
is he so unimportant that you'd prefer to keep the problem to yourself? it makes his blood boil; how he'd do anything for you, but you'd rather keep it to yourself and suffer alone.
“tell me.” childe scowls as he watches your lips quiver.
you keep your mouth firmly shut.
“fine, hold your tongue.” he sneers, “i understand. i really do, baby. it's not about the cameras, the flashing lights, the audience.”
childe brushes his lips against yours, “you wouldn’t kiss me like that in public, though, would you?” he releases his hold on your chin and his sharp eyes meet yours. “it’s only behind closed doors when you care to act like we’re each other’s.”
with a hooded jacket in one hand and a face mask in another, childe swiftly leaves the apartment with a slam of a door.
leaving you alone with your wretched thoughts.
more under the cut!
despite walking out the flat hours ago, childe still reverberates jealousy and anger; pure envy at how normal you act around everyone else yet, around him you're too guarded; and angry at himself for saying those awful words to your face.
he smacks his forehead on the steering wheel. childe acknowledges how childish he's been acting. you aren't ready to talk, and he shouldn't be forcing you to speak out your difficulties.
surely, the stress is piling up on you. he knows the hours you've been working on set, memorizing lines, practicing moves—again, he thumps his head on the wheel.
stupid, he curses. control your damn temper next time.
he reaches for the box of blueberry cheesecake on the front passenger seat. subconsciously, he drove two hours (and back) to the bakery's main branch as its side branches were sold out of your favorite cake. and he knows how much you love the pastry.
however, his body slouches in the parked car outside the apartment. the long drive works miracles with his anger, but the courage to actually walk inside and apologize never comes.
the ding of a text draws his attention. ‘go inside and beg for forgiveness, brat.’ yoimiya, a fellow actress from the same company as him, says. the woman is always in the loop and well-informed.
a shiver goes down his spine. if you told yoimiya about the argument, he's absolutely sure you're furious. you'd only speak to her as a last-ditch effort; knowing her personality she'd pummel him to bits while you watch.
as a result, he stands inside the apartment, one hand knocking on your bedroom door. however, instead of tasting blood, he hears your stifled sobs. the abrupt sound convinces him to turn the knob and enter the room.
the illumination from the hallway brightens the bedroom, shining a bit of light on your face. you lay on the bed with your knees to your chest, with a blanket over your waist. your reddened cheeks and tear-stained eyes makes his stomach churn.
“please don't cry, baby.” childe cooes, kneeling by your bedside. he leans over you, his fingers gently grip your cheeks. “i'm so sorry.”
the sudden apology sprouts pools from your eyes. his thumbs brush the water off your face and softly says, “i shouldn't have said—please, don't cry. it's my fault for taking my anger out on you.”
“i'm afraid of losing you,” you whimper. “if they find out—oh god—they'll tear me apart. i'm nothing compared to you. i'd lose everything. i might even lose you—”
“never, i will never leave you. no matter what happens,” childe interjects.
you furrow your brows, sobbing. “i'm no one—too difficult,” you hiccup. “you'll throw me away. i'm too whiny and too draining. if they find out... you'll see all the comments about how ugly—”
“breathe, baby.” he settles himself on your bed and softly places you on his lap. “you're gorgeous. you're not draining, and frankly, you're cute when you whine.”
you bury your face into his neck and continue, “i'm serious, childe. you'll get exhausted. the articles will talk about you too!”
“articles, mhm. they're just articles.” he hums.
irritation begins to set in. was he this clueless? you release another sob, “they're not just articles. they'll nitpick every single thing you do! oh—look at this newbie getting together with childe. oh, they suck at acting! why is childe even—”
childe gently places his palm on your neck, coaxing you to meet his gaze. “are you talking about the tabloid from last month?”
you sigh, “what else am i talking about?” and instantly you sense his laughter resonate. “are you laughing?”
“you're adorable, baby.” he breathes, nuzzling his face on your neck.
“you're making fun of me! what the hell, childe?”
he releases a sigh, pausing his laughter. “the tabloids every month. they're paid. companies pay them to talk about their idols for publicity.”
your face contorts into confusion, “who would willingly—they talked about lumine all month because of the article! you know she's my favorite actress. why would they willingly put her on the spotlight like that?”
“publicity, baby.”
you shake your head, “it makes no sense.”
“oh, it does.” childe hums. “of course, they'd seek permission first. it boosted views for her drama, didn't it? lumine did say she got extra for the views and switched apartments.”
“yeah, wait—you knew this whole time and didn't bother to tell me?”
he chuckles, “that's what you get for keeping these things to yourself for a month.” he squeezes the bridge of your nose.
“you're terrible.”
“love you too, baby.” he teases, “and besides, if a tabloid threatened to do something—” his thumb gently traces the skin around your neck. “—i'll keep you safe.”
a soft smile graces your features. “...i'm just not ready for anyone to find out. yet, anyway.”
childe hums, “we'll do it on your terms, okay? whenever you're ready.”
“sure, i guess you can keep me for a while longer. until you throw me away and find the next rookie to—”
childe's soft laughter sparks a flutter in your stomach. he would never do such a thing. the moment he first laid his eyes on you on set, heard your beautiful laugh between takes, listened to your jokes while practicing lines, and god, seen your angelic smile? the things he would do to keep you as his.
“never.” a cheeky grin appears on his lips, “i'll take care of you.”
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bonus: five years later
your phone rings. the vibration continues on and off, signaling multiple inbox messages. you swipe your phone to see texts from several of your close friends.
‘i know you told me you were okay with it, but i didn't think he'd try to do it so soon. i tried but he's too hardheaded.’ says yoimiya.
‘congratulations! when's the wedding? i'm kidding. don't kill childe.’ says thoma, an actor from your same company.
‘sorrows, sorrows, prayers.’ says venti, your current co-star.
you even receive a message from childe himself.
‘good morning, baby. i'm completely fault-free. simply honoring your wishes as a devoted fiancé should.’
attached to a message was a link to a video entitled: please don't kill me honey.
you click the link.
the video's blurry, as if taken by a cellphone. you recognize thoma as the person videoing the whole scene, as he turns the camera to face him before focusing it on a woman—seemingly a fan of childe. she wears merch from his most recent drama.
a fan goes on stage chosen by a random lottery draw. the said fan wins the chance to interview childe, who was the guest of the day for talk show, and ask one question.
the girl hastily walks on stage, holding a microphone given by staff.
“um. hello, childe!”
the audience screams as the huge video screen focuses on your lover's face. he waves a quick ‘hello’ and the crowd yells louder.
the girl hesitates, “are you dating anyone right now?”
childe twists the microphone in his hands. “hm? right now... i'm not dating anyone.”
the crows sighs in relief, utterly happy their favorite leading actor continues to be single.
but you see the outline of a smirk flashing on his face, and you instantly know there's a deeper meaning to that sentence. “but, it's difficult to say... since we're not really dating as of the moment.”
quietly, you hear the voice of yoimiya whispering, “don't do it.” the camera now focusing on her, trying to get herself on stage. thoma flips the camera around to face it on himself, waving a hello, apparently enjoying the drama. he then focuses the camera on the wide screen, featuring childe's face.
to add mayhem into the mix, childe continues, “i don't think being engaged to your partner falls under dating. we're way past that.”
the interview ends with the audience screaming their lungs out in disbelief, while childe's laugh resonates the whole auditorium.
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ayato, company director
“oh, them?” ayato's steady gaze meet yours, pressing his lips in a tight-lipped smile. “they're a friend of mine.”
friend. it echoes in your mind, repeating incessantly. friend. friend. friend.
dread creeps into the pit of your stomach akin to a quick flick of a lighter. after all this time, your stomach lurches. is that all he thinks of you?
god, you need a drink.
the businessmen before you smile, prompting you to return the favor. subsequently, you humbly introduce yourself as just an ‘actor in the industry’. and they laugh. of course they do.
who wouldn't know you? a multi award-winning movie and television star with piles of nominations. so modest, they say. so kind, they praise. you grin, the smile not reaching your eyes, thanking them for their compliments.
but you're so accustomed to their fake smiles, ingenuine flattery, and sweet talk; you never truly know what's actually honest and real—eyes flickering to your azure-haired partner—no, who's honest and real.
you swallow the thought down.
as if aware of the invisible daggers thrown his way, ayato's gaze meets yours. his lips are pressed firmly together, eyes devoid of warmth.
not now, his expression conveys.
you narrow your own eyes, irritation burning through your corneas. as much as you want to start an argument in front of his investors, you agree to his silent insistence. after all it's his gala; one he's tirelessly prepared for over several months.
so you bite your tongue and smile: one honed by years of acting—fake yet strangely genuine.
it's not strong enough. you say, sipping wine with shaky hands. earlier, you left ayato to his fellow businessmen using the excuse of needing a bathroom break, a reason to which he obliged.
you stare at the elaborate party before you, wishing you could go home. the gala swiftly dissolved your social battery, aided by forced mingling and bitterness. a friend, your consciousness repeats. always a friend. so you sit on a chair by the wall, sipping drinks like water.
suddenly, the hairs of your neck stand on end. you sense his presence behind you, prompting a glance through your peripheral vision.
“careful, darling.” ayato's says, tone smooth yet laced with warning. “i'd rather not have you collapsing. your lovely face wouldn't compliment these filthy floors.”
you tense immediately, shoulders stiffening. “reverting back to pet names, i see?”
ayato's hand now rests on your shoulder, his thumb brushing your soft skin. “what seems to be the issue? i doubt it's due to the eight glasses of wine you've consumed in one sitting.”
you roll your tongue in your mouth, practicing the words. let's break up. you bite your tongue. let's see other people. besides, he wouldn't care would he? it's not as if he's been acknowledging you as someone he's been dating, has he? hiding your relationship from his business partners is one thing, but concealing it from closest friends? his family? that's an entirely different matter altogether.
a friend, he says to his business partners.
a star from the company, he answers to his closest friends.
a companion, he whispers to his family.
you're sick and tired of it. all of it.
raising the wineglass to your lips, you drown the drink in one go. you raise two fingers signaling the waiter for another drink.
ayato sighs and you think you feel his hand on your neck tighten, ever so slightly. “you've reached your limit with wine, dear.”
soon, the waiter arrives with three more glasses on his tray. ayato's disapproving glare compels the waiter to scurry across the ballroom floor, steering clear of you.
you click your tongue and begin, “who says so?”
“your fiancé,” he mutters, voice dripping with venom.
you immediately scoff. “sure. for your sake, i'll pretend you mentioned that earlier.”
before ayato could retort, the presence of another individual calls his attention; his younger sister, ayaka.
“brother, the sangonomiya heir's requesting your presence.”
he sighs, irritation etching his features. yet, you blink, catching a subtle shift in his expression—seemingly twisting from annoyance to something resembling relief at the mention of sangonomiya's name.
you swallow the bitter thought.
“watch them for me, could you? i'd rather not have them find a server willing to disobey my instructions and serve them a drink,” ayato whispers, his tone betraying a hint of tension that doesn't go unnoticed.
ayaka nods. her consent prompts the older brother to depart, heading towards the misty rose-pink heir who stands at the opposite side of the ballroom.
ayaka says the inevitable, “you should let him know it bothers you.”
“...i'm not sure what you're referring to.”
her gaze follows yours, observing the giggling and cheerful countenances of the kamisato and sangonomiya heirs. they seem to be enjoying their time together. as always, you remark.
“they're just close friends, you know.”
you click your tongue. “like how him and i are just friends?”
ayaka sighs, understanding your implication. “you know what i mean.”
sangonomiya's hand on your partner's shoulder elicits an exasperated sigh from you. “thoma told me they were to be married if i wasn't here.”
“the man always running his mouth—” she takes a calming breath before continuing, “—but brother's very fond of you. i'm his sister, i should know.”
“then how come after dating him for five years, he still calls me his friend.” you pause, a hand sliding into the right pocket of your outfit. you absentmindedly play with the engagement ring inside. “i'm his fiancé, aren't i?”
“he has his reasons. petty reasons.”
you bite your tongue. or he's embarrassed of you.
you met the kamisato company heir two years after your debut as an idol. as you shifted towards acting, you developed a close relationship with his sister, a seasoned actress from the same company. eventually, she became the bridge that strengthened the bond between the two of you.
you dedicated yourself nonstop, evolving from a rookie actor to a multiple-nominee and winning star; all in the pursuit of being able to openly show off your relationship with ayato without it tarnishing your reputation.
however, when you're prepared to finally reveal your relationship, he isn't.
and it leaves you wondering, is there someone else?
you mean, you're hesitant to doubt the love of your life. but considering he's kept your relationship a secret from everyone for years, it's obvious he's adept at keeping things hidden.
even from you.
and the thought sours your mood.
excusing yourself once more to use the restroom, using the premise of consuming ten glasses of wine, you bid adieu to your favorite kamisato (at the moment). you instead head towards a secluded balcony away from prying eyes.
you stare at the garden below. your eyes quickly blink back the tears threatening to fall. not now, you hiss. don't do this to me, not right now.
“i assumed you would have retreated to your room by this point.” his voice murmurs, unnervingly composed.
you turn around to see your partner holding a glass of wine. his features remain blank, inscrutable.
maybe it's because of all the wine you've been drinking. you can't seem to tell between what's real or not.
“what did you discuss with kokomi?”
“i wasn't aware you were both on a first name basis.”
“answer the question.”
he smiles, “business as always.”
you huff and wrap your hands around your arms. “of course. just business.”
ayato immediately picks up the anger in your tone. he lays his palm on your forearm, gently pulling you towards him. “look at me,” he pleads, with a subtle trace of irritation in his voice.
you turn to look at his face, eyes glaring.
“i felt your glares the entire night.” he begins.
you shrug, smiling innocently. “...what ever do you mean?”
“don't toy with me, darling.”
as he enunciates his answer, it's as if the final thread of your patience snaps. does he still continue to feign innocence and lie to your face?
last month he proposed and you were overjoyed. you then expected a shift in your relationship; the final unveiling of your engagement to the public. you gave him your permission, a definitive “i'm ready for everyone to know.”
yet thirty days later the engagement remains concealed leaving only a few of his friends (thoma) and a few family members (ayaka) knowing about your updated relationship.
if it was the ayato from two years ago, he would be delighted—ecstatic even—to reveal the truth. he might have used the gala today as an avenue to scream to the world, this person and i are in love.
but he didn't.
so the weight of your feelings began to drag you down; it almost feels suffocating in a way. as if a ribbon labeled, he's ashamed, tightly winds around your insides, intricately tying them all together into a sophisticated bow sowing distrust whispering; he's hiding something.
your suspicions, coupled with his frequent visits this month to the sangonomiya estate, fueled your frustration until it erupted. if only he ceased pretending innocent, perhaps you would able to smile through the whole facade.
if only he didn't ask.
“i'm not naive. if you developed feelings for kokomi then you shouldn't have proposed.” you snap. “was it out of pity? did you feel so damn guilty that you chose to go through with the engagement instead of being honest about your feelings?”
ayato furrows his brows, mouth tightening in anger. “what are you talking about? i discuss private affairs with kokomi. business affairs.”
you laugh; one infused with irritation and disbelief. “don't tell me then. keep your stupid secrets.”
“do you want me to jot down a damn list detailing every single thing i do in a day?” he growls. “i won't divulge company secrets just because you feel like throwing a tantrum.”
your hands drift to the tie around his neck, tugging the crooked tie straight. “no. go ahead and keep your secrets.” you pause and roll the words with your tongue, “you're clearly very good at keeping secrets. you’ve kept me—us—as a secret for so long, so of course you’d be good at keeping fucking secrets.”
anger flares across his face. “you desired our relationship to remain a secret, and i respected your wishes.” he sneers, “i wanted to let the damn world know how much i'm in love with you yet, it was the opposite of what you desired.”
ayato releases his grip on you and strides back into the ballroom, but he halts right at the door to the balcony. “so don't dictate when i should reveal the truth simply because you've grown sick and tired of keeping me as your dirty, little secret.”
he finally departs; and you stay, tears pooling, with a profound ache in your heart.
ayato waltzes around the room in a nonchalant dance; yes, good to see you. he lies. how's business? he couldn't care less. enjoy the party! no, he wants everyone in the damn room to feel his wrath.
although he yearns to set the entire ballroom ablaze, ending the party prematurely would be ill-manned of him. so, ayato continues being a gracious and honorable host.
but he feels hollow. he envisions himself freezing the entire room in an icy gust, everyone turning into statues. he wants to sprint back into your arms and plead for you to listen.
he doesn't understand what came over him. why he lost his temper like that. typically, he'd manage your outbursts with composure and understanding. what happened? he doesn't know.
he attributes his outburst to the mounting pressure. the chronic lack of sleep and continuous exhaustion coming from his title as heir. perhaps it's the truth gnawing his skin; despite his powerful position atop the company, it can easily be ripped away with the flick of a wrist.
instead of spending time with his fiancé—he doesn't know if he still deserves to call you that, you probably threw away his ring the second he left the balcony—yet here he is, engaged in conversations with business associates he cares little about.
“brother?” ayaka calls. she finds him leaning against a railing of stairs. “i closed off the gardens.”
ayato swallows. he last saw you sneaking towards the grounds. “they're still on the grass?”
“yes.”
“they'll catch a cold.”
“they will.”
he glances at his sister. “they think i'm unfaithful.”
“i know,” she says matter-of-factly. “have you offered them any evidence to convince them otherwise?”
ayato stays silent.
“i know you care about them, brother.” ayaka sighs, “however, surprising them with a specially crafted ring and being petty when your entire relationship is at stake may not be the wisest move.”
he sighs.
“most especially if they suspect that your frequent visits to the sangonomiya manor are fueled by romantic feelings for its heiress, and not for their own wedding ring.”
after a while, ayato spots you lying on the grass in a starfish formation, having finally swallowed his pride. his eyes glaze over your features: red eyes, cheeks marked with tear stains, and an exhausted expression.
“can we talk?” he begins.
you spare a quick glance before turning your attention back to the night sky. “there's not much to talk about.”
“i'm not cheating,” he asserts.
“i know.”
“do you know, or have you resigned yourself to not knowing?”
“hm,” you hum. “a part of me entertains the thought of you cheating. yet an even smaller part absolutely knows that if you were truly cheating, you'd be more discreet. who, in their right mind, would inform thoma that you visited her manor?”
he chuckles, a laughter-less sound escapes him. “i understand i've been secretive. you have every right to assume i'm up to something indecent. but i have my reasons.” ayato confesses, kneeling beside your body. he places his hand inside his suit pocket, pulling up a black small box.
you instantly sit up. “you're horrible,” you cough, eyes widening as he opens the box to show a ring. “this entire time you were—god.”
“i placed a special order,” he mumbles. “i visited each day to ensure it was flawless, right down to the smallest details.”
“i'm so sorry.”
“don't be, love.” he breathes, “you had your reasons, and i was insistent on keeping it a surprise.”
relief floods your features. “good,” you whisper before tears well in your eyes.
the sound of your sobs breaks his heart. he immediately wraps his arms around you, brushing his lips on your cheeks.
“i'm sorry, darling,” he murmurs, kissing the skin above your brow. “i'm sorry for worrying you.”
“goddamn sadistic,” you sob. “you knew i was freaking out, but you just watched!”
he grins, “i have to admit, you look cute when you're jealous.”
a groan escapes you. “don't make me throw away both rings.”
“is that so? i should've ordered twenty spares.”
“no.” you scold.
“oh? look at my darling, so jealous,” he smirks, nuzzling his face into your neck. you then feel his lips press into a straight line. “you're not something i would ever try to hide. i would never be ashamed of our relationship.”
you laugh, “prove it.”
your smile faces seeing the smirk on his face. in that exact moment, you know that kamisato ayato, the preposterous god in human flesh, plans to do something grand and explosive to prove you otherwise.
“do not.” you begin, “we've talked about this. you cannot—you absolutely will not bribe the government to declare our wedding date as a national holiday!”
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bonus: ten minutes before the clash
“is it getting warm in here, or am i sensing the intense gaze of your loving fiancé on me?” kokomi laughs, sipping a glass of champagne.
ayato takes a peek, and he chuckles upon seeing your irritated and jealous expression. “they certainly are.”
“please do not involve me in your lovers' quarrels. everyone knows we're just close friends.”
“they do.”
“have you told them?”
“...it may have slipped past my mind.”
kokomi shakes her head. “sadistic.” she slips a black box into his palm. “clear it up. i do not want to be murdered by your future partner.”
ayato glances at you from across the room as you engage a conversation with his sister. “mhm, i could, but their jealous expression is too endearing.”
“sadistic,” she repeats. “absolutely sadistic.”
he chuckles.
“also, kazuha mentioned that you've been referring to them as your companion. correct that.” she continues, “and stop calling them your friend!”
“they asked me to when we started dating.”
she rolls her eyes. “you're so petty. stop trying to provoke them!”
“anyways, everyone knows we're engaged,” he corrects. “their whining face is the cutest.”
“sadistic.”
“kokomi?”
she tilts her head and hums, “yes?”
“ever wondered how much it costs to propose a national holiday?”
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author’s note: lmao. so in this modern au ayato actually succeeds in turning your wedding date into a national holiday. the government actually appreciates his donation because a.) they always accept goodwilled (lmao) funds and b.) ayato's an important pillar to the gov and they don't want to upset him 'cause petty rich boy tantrums tilt the economy (how sadistic).
so, ayato's the heir of the company where you are employed at as an idol turned actor/actress. kokomi is the heiress to a big jewelry corporation. lmao they were both engaged together when they were like five but they instantly broke it off because well, they both threw five year old tantrums.
plus thoma telling you that they were to be engaged was just a fact he blurted out when you asked about kokomi (he manages to omit the five-year-old part because he's careless + he didn't think it matters because anyone can tell ayato's intensely in love with you)
631 notes · View notes
starii-light · 5 months
Text
double, double
i had a brain idea, needed to let it out
tw: angst, slight cursing, bad boyfriend miles, not proofread
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Miles was an amazing boyfriend, caring, compassionate, and always getting you little trinkets and items that 'reminded him of you'.
as of late, though, he's been lacking on boyfriend duty. Cancelling on dates under the guise of 'spider-man patrols'. He stopped getting you things and started acting more dry over text and call. Anytime you were together he was always on his phone, smiling and texting some other girl. You were fine with it, you just wanted your miles back.
It was the day of Mr. Morales' promotion, you had showed up, albeit a little solemn over the way Miles had been treating you, but you still wanted to be there for Mr. Morales' since Miles' parents had always been there for you.
You showed up, walking through the door, gift in hand. You were searching for Miles', hoping to see him and talk to him about what was up with him recently.
"Y/N! Hola mija! ¿como estas?" you heard Mrs. Morales exclaim, walking up to you and embracing you in a tight hug.
"Hi Mrs. Morales! I'm good how are you? you must be excited about the promotion huh?" you say, poking at her shoulder teasingly with a calmer smile on your face. You and her fall into a comfortable conversation for a few minutes before you saw past her, just over her shoulder was Miles, talking to some white girl and showing more emotion with her in a few minutes than he showed you in the last week.
you felt your heart sink.
its as if you pushed your man into another girls arms.
Mrs. Morales seemed to notice your sudden change in mood and followed your gaze, seeing her baby boy, chatting it up with some girl who looks old enough to vote.
"aye, mija im sorry, i'll go talk some sense into that boy" You nodded silently as she walked away. You decided to go over to the snack table to get something to drink.
For most of the party you sat, nursing your drink and silently watching everyone else celebrate. then you heard yelling, lots of it. The music turned up but you could still hear yelling. You moved off the wall and walked towards the commotion.
You could see Miles yelling at his parents before giving up.
"whatever.."
"..."
"whatever?? whatever?? thats it your grounded!"
you physically cringed at how embarrassing this whole interaction was for miles. He put down the boxes in his hands before storming off, sparing you a single glance, not slowing his pace, before he continued past you, as if you didn't even matter. It hurt you to see him not caring at all about you.
You couldn't take much more of this, so you said your goodbyes and final congratulations before leaving.
⭐⭐⭐
it had been a few weeks since you last spoke to miles. your heart couldn’t take it after seeing him with another girl; you weren’t even sure where your relationship stood at this point.
you were laying in your bed, thinking. trying to think back to when it all went to shit. you always thought yours and miles relationship was amazing, you thought he was the one.
why did he change, did he decide your not good enough for him anymore?
it had been too long of these negative thoughts with no closure, so you went to his house to figure out what he wanted to do next.
⭐⭐⭐
you were in front of his door, trying to figure out what to say to him when you eventually knocked on the door. you were extremely close to giving up and going home when the door opened.
"Y/N?" you looked up and saw Miles staring down slightly at you.
"Miles." you said, indifferently. "I came to talk to you, i was just about to knock on the door" you expertly lied
"oh um well i'm kinda in the middle of-"
"miles? what are you doing?" you heard a female voice cut miles off.
you unfolded your arms and looked up at miles, questioningly. the voice you heard definitely wasn't his mother.
"Miles.. who is that behind you? do you have another girl over?" You didn't wait for him to answer before you pushed past him and opened the door. It was the girl from the party. She looked confused and almost mad at you.
"Who are you?" she asked, acting all entitled
"Im his girlfriend, who are you?" you crossed your arms again.
her face morphed to that of confusion as she looked over at miles.
"gwen, i was going to tell her, just not now."
"Tell me what?"
"i want to break up." the rest of his words muffled, you could hear ringing through your ears. your arms fell again.
"..what?" your voice went shaky.
"im sorry, but i just fell out of love with you" he tried smiling but it just failed.
"i hate you miles, i want my stuff back."
he nodded slowly and closed the door, you could hear gwen softly comforting him, just like you used to do. Then you heard yelling, it sounded like Ms. Morales.
You went back home
⭐⭐⭐
It's been a few months since miles left you. You began to come to terms with it and realized that it wasn't your fault, it was no ones fault, it still hurt but not as bad.
you were walking down the streets of new york, going to your favorite bakery for some coffee and a snack when you heard rumbling. loud rumbling, coming from the end of the street. you turned around and saw an all out fight, there was multiple spider-men, some youve seen before, some being entirely new. people were running around you, but you were stuck in place.
you recognized the black and red mask swinging around, suit torn in some places, blood seeping out of large cuts.
its miles, you thought. He's the one the villan is going after. Hes being brutally punched, over and over and over again. you heard another voice, another recognizable one, trying to put your finger on it you realized you were still standing on the sidewalk, in the middle of the fight, when a red car was thrown right at you.
you finally began to run, first you started out slow, then you broke out into a full sprint, running as things were being thrown at you.
suddenly, you were grabbed, by some, white entity with black scribbles all over it. it was twitching and shaking the whole time speaking directly at you, pulling you closer.
"aww looks like this one didn't get away spider-man, it'd be a shame if i were to, send her away" it laughed, it created a black hole looking object before carelessly tossing you into the hole. you looked up but the hole had closed just as quickly as it had opened.
you went through a large room of more black holes, seemingly gravitating towards one in particular. the closer you got to it, the better you could see. It looked a lot like your world, just darker and more fires.
you landed harshly on top of a tall building, after a few moments, trying to get over the pain. when it subsided, you sat up and looked around.
what happened here? you thought
questions like this ran through your mind as you turned around taking in your new surroundings. you sat up and looked around.
wheres their spiderman to prevent this?
so many more questions flooded your mind, making you dizzy. You stood up, more and more questions surfacing, one more prominent. it echoed through your mind.
where am i? this isn't home.
you went to the edge of the building you landed on, still sore from the harsh landing.
you could hear loud gunshots, multiple gunshots going off. you were immediately put on edge.
you looked around the building and you saw a small room with a door, you assumed those were the stairs down.
you walked towards the door, more sounds went off. police sirens, more guns, yelling, arguing; this was a very bad place to be in.
you decended down the stairs, they were old and rusted, shaking with every step.
once you made it down, it was even worse. there was women yelling about theives, shop windows broken, signs torn down. graffiti everywhere.
you walked down the street warily, searching for a police station to find out where you are.
⭐⭐⭐
you were lost.
this place looked a lot like your brooklyn, slight changes like your favorite bakery being on a different part of town, replaced by a clothing and shoe store.
you began walking blind, just hoping to run into the one kind person here.
your entire walk you felt like you were being watched, you shrugged it off to being in a new and sketchy place.
then you saw something that caught your eye.
brooklyn visions.
yours and miles school. where you stayed.
you immediately walked towards the school, hoping you found a sanctuary.
you felt chills running down your spine, you stopped in your tracks. you heard a noise, like wind whistling around you. you turned around quickly. seeing a small purple blur moving, behind a building.
goosebumps rose on your skin, you started to breathe harder. you turned back towards the school and began running, your mind moving a thousand miles a minute. you could hear soft footsteps behind you, just loud enough to hear. then they stopped. you were almost at the door of the school when something suddenly appeared infront of you
a purple mask looked at you, the head behind the mask tilted, almost as if they were confused.
"w-who are you?"
the mask didn't respond, he bent down, moving around you in a circle, almost as if he was sizing you up. you were shaking the entire time, your eyes closed and praying
"why you so scared ma? and why are you out here at this time of night?" the voice calmed you subconscious, yet you still couldn't put your finger on where youve heard it before.
the mask looked around, seemingly as if he was checking if we were alone, then reached up to take his mask off.
"Miles?"
"yes ma, sorry i know we broke up, force of habit. you look.. different" he said, slightly chuckling then letting it die
"whats going on?" tears welled up in your eyes, the whole experience overwhelming you.
"hey hey hey, whoa calm down, are you ok?"
"no! i was outside my house and i get thrown into some sort of hole thing and now im here and everything looks different and you look different, what ever happened to you and gwen, hm? wasnt she the girl you left me for?" you ranted, the emotions you kept in since you and miles broke up being let out all at once.
it felt good to let them out
"...what are you talking about? your the one who left me for that tall ass dreadheaded boy a little while ago"
now you were officially confused
"I know your confused, but i think you should come over to my place, its not safe for you to be out here confused at this time of night."
as you let more tears fall, you nodded and let miles grab your arm
"ok.."
⭐⭐⭐
you had calmed down, sitting down on his bed.
"so.. your room looks different"
"ma, i dont think you understand whats going on here"
you looked up at him, confused
"huh? what do you mean"
"i've been studying this in school, its called the multiverse theory, it suggests that our universe, may not be the only one. Ma i think you came from a different one than mine. Im not sure how to get you home from here. I wasn't even sure the theory was real"
your breathing stopped.
"i-i'm in a different universe? how-how did that happen? oh my god what about my family? my friends? my world? am i going to be stuck here forever? am i going-"
you were cut off by a horrible, inexplicable pain. you couldn't see anything but bright colors and loud sounds. it lasted for what felt like hours.
"holy shit what was that?" you said, suddenly on the floor and out of breath.
"i'm pretty sure your atoms arent exactly jazzed about being in a different universe"
it went quiet again for a moment
"so, what did you mean by i left you for some other man? because in my universe, you broke up with me for a white girl" you said looking down
"a white girl? over you? hell no, i would never. you sure that kid is me?"
you laughed lightly smiling at him
"and i would never chose some random dreadhead over you"
you two were talking for what felt like years, you and him fell into such a comfortable conversation. you two were talking for so long about nothing and everything at the same time.
it fell silent, but a comfortable silence, like you didn’t feel trapped at all with him.
he scooted closer, he stole a glance at your lips before darting back up to your eyes. not going unnoticed by you.
you tilted your head slightly to the right looking down at his lips for a second, then looking back up at his eyes. you missed looking into miles' eyes. they brought you a sort of comfort nothing else could bring you.
the tension in the air was thick, so thick you could cut it with a knife. you decided to shoot your shot and you moved closer to this miles, connecting your lips. the kiss was familiar for the both of you. bringing that closure the two of you needed.
"i know your not my miles, and im not your y/n, but do you think maybe we coul-"
you were cut off by a loud sound, coming from the left of you, but it looked like absolutely nothing was making that noise.
"what is that?"
"i-i dont know" he looked just as confused as you were, searching for the source of the sound.
you saw another small black hole, this time it was about as big as a penny, growing larger in size the more you looked at it
"Miles look" you said, pointing at the quarter sized hole, you both watched in awe as it grew. then you could hear voices coming from the hole
"its getting bigger, maybe we shouldnt be here"
by the time you finished your sentence, you looked back at the hole, it was about as tall as you now, it stopped growing
there was a colorful border around in the shape of a hexagon, there were multiple hexagons, each getting smaller. you stood up, holding miles' hand.
"miles we should go, i dont like this"
he stood up, holding you hand in his. he turned around to go pull on the doorknob when you heard another voice.
"y/n?" you turned around abruptly, you were looking your miles in the face
"oh, hi miles, what are you doing here?"
"what am i doing here? y/n, what are you doing here?" he got defensive. "why are you here with this knockoff version of me?"
"i wasn't here by choice! because of your fight with the spot i was thrown here!"
"But that doesn't explain you being in this guys room!"
"why do you care? you broke up with me for that white girl!"
he went silent.
"y/n, that was a mistake, we ended up breaking up."
"so you only want me back because it didnt work out with your side chick?"
"Y/n, it didn't work because she isnt you"
"really? i could've told you that"
he sighed, he looked frustrated, that made you hap
"miles, you cheated on me and broke up with me for her, im not going to accept your pathetic apology"
The other miles squeezed your hand, reminding you that he was there. you looked back at him and smiled
“what the hell is this? why are you looking at him like, like, like how you used to look at me!”
“i seriously don’t understand why your mad at me right now, you left me”
“yes i did, i messed up, but now im here. i’m here to bring you back. and this guy, he’s just another version of me”
“a better version of you”
“whatever y/n, your coming home with me whether you like it or not” you felt webs connect to your waist and saw him yank on it before walking back through his portal thing.
miles’ hand let go of you, he followed you, chasing after you. but the web was too quick
before you knew it, you were in a large room, lots of people were walking around. you could hear lots of different conversations going on at once. you were immediately overwhelmed
what’s going on?
should i continue this y’all 😭 im not sure this is even good, but pls lmk if ygs want this to continue or nah😊
please answer my poll!
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carlottawllms · 2 months
Text
Yours For The Night
Mason Mount x Reader Fluff / Maybe a tiny bit angst-ish Word Count:
I loved the idea from the very beginning and I fell in love with the story and the characters very quickly while writing this so I hope you'll love it just as much. I'm rather proud of this one!
As always, feedback is very much appreciated! Enjoy 🩷
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Being single at the age of 23 could be daunting. Not in principle, because at 23 there was still a whole life ahead of you, but when all your friends were in committed relationships whilst you weren't, the doubts started to set in.
Doubt that there actually was this one person who was only meant for you. Doubt that you would ever find someone who wanted you for who you were. Doubt that you were good enough.
Technically, there was this pretty simple solution to the problem: dating. However, you’d quickly realised that it wasn't that easy after all.
Looking around your circle of friends was out of the question as either they were all taken or they were so out of your league, that you hardly dared to talk to them even without the whole dating thing in the back of your mind.
And dating apps scared the shit out of you.
But if you didn't want to stay alone forever, something had to change. So after a lot of back and forth and a lot of convincing by your best friend Laure, you’d decided to take the risk and sign up there after all.
And that was why you found yourself in a nice, cozy restaurant on a random Friday evening with a handsome young man right opposite you. Dark hair steel blue eyes and a handsome smile: Ethan.
It was going great. Surprisingly so as you always thought of yourself as an awkward person when it came to first encounters, but either you weren’t half as bad as you thought you were or Ethan was very good in pretending.
Conversation was flowing freely, and you could’ve really enjoyed it if it wasn't for Lewis constantly calling you. It was the third time you rejected the call and apologised to Ethan before turning your phone around.
“You can answer that.”, he smiled. “Honestly, it could be an emergency for all you know.”
“No, I…it’s my best friend’s brother. They’re getting ready for erm…well something like a night out. He probably just wants me to approve of the outfits or something.”, you mumbled, cheeks red from embarrassment.
“Look, y/n”, your date sighed, and you feared the worst when he placed his hand over yours. “At this point, even I’d feel better if you answered and made sure everything’s alright, you know? C’mon, just call him back.”
You hesitated for a moment, wondering if he actually meant it or not because so far you really liked him and you didn’t want to mess it up, but Ethan’s reassuring smile convinced you eventually.
“Lew? You’ve called like 5 times, is everything okay?”, you asked once he’d answered the call after the first ring.
“Yes…no, I mean…it’s a little complicated. No one’s hurt, it’s just…”
“Just tell me, Lewis. What’s going on? Aren’t you supposed to get Mase ready for that gala?”
Tonight was Manchester United’s annual awards gala. You had no idea what exactly it was about, but Mason had told you that he was nominated for the New-Player-Of-The-Season award and as far as you were informed, he had to leave for that in about an hour.
“Yeah, that’s erm…look, I can’t explain that on the phone. Can you come?”
“What? No, Lew, I’m on-”
“I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important.”, Lewis sighed. He sounded defeated and a little desperate and it appealed to your guilty conscience. He really wouldn't call if it wasn't important, you knew that and you felt as if you didn’t really have a chance to say no…
“Yeah okay.”, you agreed and after a few more words the call ended.
You sighed quietly, gaze dropping to your empty plate before you found the courage to look your date in the eye. “Look, Ethan, this erm looks really bad, I know, but-”
“It actually is an emergency, and you have to leave?”, he offered. The soft smile still on his face even after you nodded. “That’s fine, please don’t worry. I’ve been dumped for less, you know?”
“No, I…God. I’m so sorry. This really isn’t what it looks like. I-”
“I was joking, y/n.”, he laughed. “Honestly, it’s fine. You go and take care of that emergency of yours and I’ll message you so we can reschedule. Okay?”
“You’re sure?”, you pouted. “Because I really enjoyed today.”
“So did I. C’mon, off you go. I promise I’ll message you.”
Ethan even offered to pay for your drinks, so you could leave quickly, but you rejected his offer. The idea of him paying for the date when you had to leave less than an hour after you’d arrived didn’t sit right with you, so after you’d paid for your part and said goodbye, you rushed over to Mason’s.
As the restaurant Ethan had chosen wasn’t too far away from where Mason lived it took less than 20 minutes until you arrived. With shaky fingers you entered the code for the gate. Ignoring the fact you’d parked as badly as never in your life before, you jumped out of the car and made your way up to his front door.
“Hi, y/n.” Lewis offered a small smile, but it didn’t hide the distraught look on his face. “Thank you for coming.”
“Well, you said it’s an emergency.”, you mumbled as you followed him into the living room where Mason was slumped in the corner of the sofa. His white shirt wrinkled, hair looking as if he’d run his hands through it for the past 20 minutes and cheeks bright red.
You furrowed your brows at the state of your best friend.
“What’s wrong? He was so excited when I talked to him this morning. Also, where’s Alyssa? Wasn’t she supposed to be here already?”
Mason only scoffed at your words and mumbled something you didn’t quite catch under his breath.
Alyssa was his girlfriend of a few months now. From what he’d told you, they’d met on the set of the Nike shooting. She was some sort of assistant and with her witty and fun nature, had captured Mason’s interest straight away.
You’d only met her a handful of times, but she seemed decent and made your best friend happy and that really was everything you wanted for him.
“Actually, that is the emergency.”, Lewis sighed. “She’s not coming.”
“What do you mean she’s not coming? She seemed to be okay yesterday, is she sick or something?”
“No, she…she called him earlier and told him she won’t show up with him.”
Eyes widening, you stared at Lewis. Your tummy did a weird nauseating flip at his choice of words. She won’t show up with him. What was that supposed to mean?
“I…sorry what? I don’t get wha-”
“Well, she said that…erm…I don’t…” The way Lewis stumbled over his words had your heart sinking in your chest in fear.
Mason was a funny guy, someone who was rarely in a bad mood or sad, but you were close enough to him to know that deep down, his heart was pretty fragile. He was a sensitive person, took things to heart way too quickly and whilst he’d never admit that, his failed relationship before and the way some girls used him for getting some, had done some damage to his self-esteem.
“You can tell her, Lew.”, Mason laughed hollowly. “It’s not like I have to hide anything from y/n. She said I’m not fancy enough to show up there with me and that I’m too childish for her liking and that she'd rather save herself the embarrassment of being photographed with someone who doesn’t act like a grown-up half the time.”
The more he spoke, the more your heart broke. Not just because she’d said all that, but because you knew he believed it and with every passing second the anger grew in the pit of your stomach.
There were only a few things that made you furious, but people talking badly about Mason were where you drew the line and you had to take a couple of deep breaths to compose yourself.  
Lewis seemed to notice the state you were in. With a gentle squeeze of your shoulder, he made you look at him.
“He doesn’t want to go anymore, and I was hoping you could talk to him? It’s his first gala and no matter how shit the circumstances, it won’t look good if-”
“I’m right here, you know? I can hear you.”, Mason hissed, rolling his eyes at his brother’s behaviour. He was over it. Over everything and all he wanted to do was get out of these clothes and into bed.
“You know what won’t look good?”, he asked with a sneer. “Me. Everyone’s bringing the missus. What’s it gonna look like when I don’t bring my girlfriend after I told them I would?”
“Mase, I’m sure there’s others who will attend alone.”, you said softly as you sat down next to him. Turning your body so you could face him a bit better, your hand found its way into his hair. “It’s not going to look bad or whatever you think it might. Didn’t you say Luke would come alo-”
“I’m not going, y/n.”, he huffed, pushing your hand away in annoyance.
“Mase, you-”
“No, y/n. I am not going. End of story.”, he hissed. “I will look like the biggest idiot. An empty seat next to me like…”
Knowing it would be a futile attempt to try and convince him to go alone, you shot Lewis a look. Wordlessly asking if he couldn’t just join his brother, but he shook his head.
“I have a meeting in an hour.”
“Look, there’s no need to baby me. I’ll just tell them I’m sick and stay back. They can hand me the award next week or something, it’s not that important.”
It was a lie, you knew that as you remembered how excited and over the moon Mason had been when he’d called you a few days ago to tell you that he’d won. He hadn’t stopped talking about how honoured and happy he was and it only made you even more furious. There was no way you’d let a shitty woman ruin that for him.
“You should go, y/n. Don’t you have a date to go to anyway?”
“Well, I actually was on that date when Lewis called.”, you admitted. The latter shot you an alarmed look.
“You didn’t say any-”
“I mean, you said it was an emergency, so I obviously left.”, you explained softly. You could feel Mason’s eyes on you before he dropped his head.
“You shouldn’t have, y/n.”, he sighed. “Maybe you can call him and see if he’s still free for tonight? Sorry for the fuss, I’ll just go and get changed.”
“Yeah, into a new shirt cause this one’s all wrinkled.”, you laughed quietly as you smoothed over the sleeve of his bunched-up shirt.
“I already said I’m not going, I-”
“Yes, yes you are, Mason.”, you smiled as you got up to stand in front of him. Hands out for him to take, but he only looked up at you with that stubborn look on his face. “This is such an honour for you and you were so happy about it and you won’t let anyone ruin that for you. Go and get changed.”
Wiggling your fingers, you eventually got him to grab your hands and get off the sofa, but he still shook his head. A sad smile on his face.
“y/n, I appreciate that pep-talk and you coming here, but I can’t go. I refuse to look stupid by showing up there all by myself.”
“Well, you won’t look stupid because you won’t show up by yourself.”, you smiled.
For the last two minutes you’d been racking your brain to find a solution, only to suddenly realise that the solution was actually hanging in the wardrobe upstairs.
“I still have my dress from Dec’s wedding in your wardrobe. I’ll be your plus one. If you’ll have me.”
Mason furrowed his brows. You could literally see the cogs turning in his head. “What? y/n, I told them I’ll bring my girlfriend.”
“Look, Mase this is a big night for you, and I don’t want you to miss it because of a stupid bitch. You told me they don’t know her and obviously they don’t know me either, so for tonight you can introduce me to them.”
You were aware that it sounded a little insane and the aftermath would probably be a little complicated, but you were willing to do it for him. He was your best friend and he’d worked hard for this achievement. He deserved the award, and you wanted him to show up there and enjoy the evening, instead of wondering what everybody thought about his missing girlfriend.
“y/n, that’s insane.”, he whispered, but in his eyes you could see the gratitude you’d even proposed it. “Are you sure?”
“I am, Mase.”, you smiled and when he pulled you into a tight hug and whispered a very quiet thank you, you knew he was sold.
-
As you’d already been somewhat dressed up for your date, it hadn’t taken you too long to get ready, so you and Mason managed to arrive at the venue on time.
“You’re ready for this?”, Mason asked softly once he’d parked the car.
He turned towards you a little so he could get a good look at you, his hand sneaking on your thigh to give it a gentle squeeze. Obviously, he was grateful you were doing this but at the same time he was also a little worried.
“We kinda have to pretend we’re a couple and I need you to tell me when it gets too much, okay? I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“I could never be uncomfortable around you, Mase.”, you admitted, making him blush a little. “It’ll be fine. You’re my best friend, Mase. I trust you.”
After a few more words, he eventually got out of the car, rounded it and opened your door to help you out. You gladly grabbed his outstretched hand to avoid falling flat on your face in these murderous heels of yours.
“Ready to go and get to know everyone?”
You wouldn’t tell him, but all of sudden, your heart had stared to beat out of your chest from nerves. “What if they don’t like me?”
“That, my love, is a very ridiculous question.”, Mason laughed. He softly cupped your cheek with his hand to force your gaze on his. “They will obviously love you. You’re this kind and funny person and I don’t know anyone who doesn’t like you. Also they’re pretty fun to be around, you’ll get along with them just fine. Okay?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be with you the whole time, I promise.” Mason kissed your forehead in reassurance and pulled back again to search your face for some doubts or worries, but much to his relief he couldn’t find any. Your bright eyes simply stared back into his.
“C’mon then.” He grabbed your hand in his, fingers hesitantly pushing in between yours and when you smiled up at him, his tummy flipped.
Fortunately, there were no paparazzi at the entrance, so you were able to slip into the restaurant unnoticed. The club’s own photographer Mick welcomed you and asked you to pose for a photo and without even thinking about it, you and Mason stood side by side and smiled for the camera.
His arm was wrapped around your waist and whilst he’d done that countless of times before, this time it felt a little more intimate. But maybe it was only because of the thought that for everyone else you looked like a couple tonight.
“Mase, hi.” Erik was the first to see the two of you. With a woman you thought had to be his wife, he came over.
“Hi, you’re alright?”, Mason smiled as he greeted his manager with a half-hug. “Erik, this is y/n.”
“Pleasure to meet you.”, you smiled, shaking his hand.
“Oh, it’s all mine. Thank you for taking such good care of him and supporting him. This is my wife Bianca.”
As you exchanged a couple of words with them, you felt Mason’s hand grabbing yours and giving it a gentle squeeze, wordlessly asking if you were alright.
The time until dinner passed surprisingly quickly. As promised, Mason didn't leave you alone once while you gradually got to know his teammates and their partners and although there was no real need for it, he always touched you in some way. His arm around your waist, his hand on the small of your back or his hand clasped tightly around yours with his thumb rubbing circles into your smooth skin.
The two of you were sat on a table with Rasmus, Christian and Victor and as they’d all brought their partners, you realised quickly why Mason had been so adamant on not going on his own. He definitely wouldn’t have looked stupid but knowing him he wouldn’t have felt comfortable at all, whilst now he was joking away with his friends whilst you got to know the other women.
Throughout the whole dinner you chatted and laughed with them and at some point you forgot that you weren’t actually Mason’s girlfriend and therefore wouldn’t be present for more of these events.
Mason on the other hand couldn’t stop looking at you from the corner of his eye. You looked beautiful in that dress he’d lost his head over on Dec’s wedding already and the way you smiled brightly and seemed to get along so well with everyone had his head spinning.
You weren’t his, he knew that, but he’d spent the last 30 minutes thinking about how you’d abandoned all plans to be with him and couldn’t help but be all soft for you. You’d left your date for him and even when he’d told you to message the guy, you’d opted to spend the evening with him.
After dinner there was still a little time before the awards would be presented and you’d decided to mingle with some of the other people around. You’d left Mason with some of his teammates to go and freshen up a little, but as you came back now, he seemed to be in deep conversation with Luke and you were unsure of whether to join them.
You’d clung to his side basically all evening as despite getting along with the others, you weren’t comfortable enough to be with them all by yourself, but you didn’t want to annoy Mason. He’d been pretty open with his touching behaviour, but there was still some hesitation from your side.
You scanned the room, thinking of just joining Laura for a chat, but before you actually could, Mason had noticed you and made eye contact. His signature smile ever present on his face. Slowly, you walked over, giving him the chance to shake his head no, but the closer you got, the brighter his smile seemed to get.
“Hi.”, he whispered when you cuddled into his side. “You’re okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Everyone’s really nice.”
“Told you.”, he chuckled before leaning down and kissing your cheek. It was something he’d sort of done before but this time, it made you blush like mad and when his arm snuck around your waist and pulled you into his side a little more, you had to drop your head to avoid Luke noticing how flustered you were.
Mason had always been a touchy person and you’d never paid much attention to it because it was just who he was, but tonight it was…more intimate, maybe even meaningful. You weren’t even sure if you were only fooling yourself, but it felt as if the air had shifted, and it was starting to mess with your head.
You’d never thought of Mason as anything else but your best friend, but now that it felt so natural to be with him, cuddle him and hold his hand, you couldn’t help but think of him as more than that. Especially, as you realised only today just how attuned you were to one another.
Pretending to be in a relationship was always risky as there were enough moments where one could slip, but for the two of you none of these moments had happened. Rather the opposite as it looked as if you’d been together forever.
Mason had you back to your table at some point as the awards were about to be handed out and when he was called up on the little stage to receive his well-deserved trophy, you had to wipe a few tears of happiness and pride off your cheek.
About an hour later, the evening was pretty much over. Most people had already left, and you and Mason had made it out too, but after spending all evening inside, you’d decided to stay outside for a little longer and go for a walk before driving home.
You hadn’t made it too far when Mason tugged on your hand and held you back. Confused, you furrowed your brows at him as he came to a stop and pulled you to stand right in front of him.
“I’m sorry I ruined your date.”, he said quietly. His big brown eyes were set on yours, apologetic and full of worry. “I realised I didn’t apologise for that before and neither for how I acted at home and practically forced you into this.”
Not really thinking about it – tonight had messed with his head a lot – he gently pushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His fingertips just about brushing over the soft skin on your neck leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“You don’t have to apologise, Mase.”, you smiled. “I actually didn’t mind it at all. I enjoyed tonight a lot.”
“Yeah?”, he whispered as a cute blush coated his freckled cheeks and the bridge of his nose. He wasn’t sure if you were referring to what it felt like to be with him, but deep down he hoped you were.
Staring into his eyes, you nodded slowly. Throughout the whole night, the air had shifted significantly and now it seemed to have found its peak. The eye contact was intense and made your tummy churn, but it was when Mason’s gaze dropped to your lips, that your heart flipped.
“Do you think, I-”
“Yes.”, you breathed, knowing exactly what he wanted to ask and when you tilted your head a little and Mason leaned down, your lips met in a shy and soft, but perfect kiss.
—————
I genuinely hope you enjoyed reading this. You would make my day if you left a little feedback so I can see what you liked and what I can improve on 🩷
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simp4wom3n · 1 year
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The Quiet One Pt.I
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Pairing: Tara Carpenter x fem!Reader
Requested: Yes/No ~ request @perfectartisanwerewolf
Summary: Ghost face's dramatic return causes many to point the finger at 'the loner' of Woodsboro High, Y/n, a horror loving, lonesome girl who appears to have an obsession with ghost face's first victim, Tara. ~ Word Count: 5.272k ~ Warnings: descriptions of being stabbed and blood, a lot of swearing
A/N: Hi!! first Tara fic and omg I fkn LOVED writing this although it got looooooong which is why i'm making this is 2 (maybe 3) part series. Hopefully you guys enjoy the first part and want more because, maybe its just me, but writing about horror is incredibly enjoyable. I love you all and enjoy <3
Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5
"I dunno that y/n kid is weird. She seriously creeps me out." Amber spoke with a grimace, briefly glancing in your direction. Like every other day, you were sitting alone on your chosen bench, only a few metres away from the others, with nothing but the sound of your music playing softly through your headphones and the words of the book you had chosen to read accompanying you.
You used to try and be sociable, consistently putting yourself out there despite your introverted nature. You tried you really did. After many failed attempts and being met with nothing but resentment, you eventually just gave up, deciding that you were destined for solitude.
The only person who even acknowledged your existence these days was Tara Carpenter, the very girl you happened to have a massive crush on. Before you had shut yourself off from society, she was the one person who showed you any bit of kindness. You would often exchange small talk when walking between shared classes, or even on occasion try to sit with her at lunch, although that didn't last long - you learnt pretty quickly that her friends didn't enjoy your company.
Tara absolutely captivated you. It blew your mind that someone even looked at you without judgement, let alone have their eyes brighten at the sight of you. She was the one person who you felt safe around at school, the one person you knew wasn't just talking to you for a dare or some stupid prank. Perhaps that's why you fell for her as quickly as you did.
Whenever her eyes met yours, butterflies would erupt in your stomach and your heartbeat would increase tenfold. Whilst your time with her was very limited, every conversation you had, every laugh you shared, your feelings for the girl only grew.
Along with your cowardice, there was always something stopping you from telling Tara how you felt. Her 'best friend' Amber. You would have to be legally blind to not see that Amber hated you with her whole heart - you were clueless as to why though. Whenever you and Tara had been talking for 'too long', she would always swoop in and pull her away, leaving you once again alone.
It was one particular occasion that had changed you.
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Pulling your headphones out of your bag on your way towards you bike, you were about to put them on before you heard a voice that instantly made your lips quirk into a smile. "Y/n hey wait up" Tara called after you, causing you to turn around and watch her run towards you. "Hi" you laughed as she finally reached you, slightly out of breath but with a warm smile nonetheless. "You seriously thought you could just go home for the holidays without saying goodbye?" she laughed in feign offence, causing you to chuckle awkwardly.
You hadn't necessarily been 'avoiding' her, you were just taking the easy route, knowing that if you kept talking to her, you were inevitably going to confess your feelings for her - something that you definitely wanted to avoid. She was the only friend you had. Sure, your heart longed for you two being more than friends, but to you, nothing was worth losing what you already had.
"Sorry..." you gave her a tight lipped smile as you fidgeted with your hands, all of a sudden feeling very awkward as your thoughts started getting the better of you. "No need to apologise" she smiled, "I just wanted to see you before you went home so... yeah... I'll see you next year I guess". She went to turn around and head back to her friends, but without realising it, before she could walk away, you had swiftly grabbed ahold of her arm.
Her questioning eyes met yours as she turned back towards you, your words caught in your throat as you try to comprehend what the fuck you were doing. "Sorry I... I just need to tell you something." 'Y/n stop it what the fuck are you doing', Your heart and your brain were at war with each other as you stared at Tara, who was patiently waiting for you to find your words.
"Ok... ok I'm just going to say it... Tara, I really, really li-" "Hey Tara! what the hell are you doing talking to this weirdo" Your face dropped as you caught a glimpse of who had interrupted you. Unsurprisingly, you watched as Amber walked past you and wrapped her arm around Tara shoulders.
You stood frozen. Your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you felt tears begin to well in your eyes. 'This cannot be fucking happening' is what was replaying in your mind as you turned away from the two girls, trying your best to hold back your cries. Tara remained silent, half annoyed at Amber for interrupting your conversation, but also confused as to what you were going to tell her.
She watched as you swiftly grabbed your things and unlocked your bike, obviously trying to get away from the situation as fast as you physically could. "Y/n wait-" she finally spoke before you cut her off, "See you next year Tara" she could hear a slight break in your voice as you hopped on your bike and quickly rode off.
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You hadn't been the same since.
Ever since you returned for the new year, you had been avoiding Tara like the plague, knowing full well that if you talked to her she would ask you what you were going to say.
Your interactions diminished into short-lived glances. You were often so caught up in your own world that you wouldn't even notice Tara's presence anymore, despite her many attempts to interact with you. She was now left with only being able to watch you as you walk through the halls, and risk a quick glance to the back of the classroom where you now sat alone.
"Don't be mean, Tara seems to like her so she can't be that bad." Wes defends you, evidently having some sympathy. Amber looks back at him with eyebrows raised. "Yeah, and look where that got her." "Amber!" "Dude what the hell!". A myriad of complaints came from the group's mouthes at the comment. It had been less than a day since Tara had been attacked by the new ghost face, sending waves of fear throughout the small town and sparking the so-called blame game to erupt.
When the news of her attack broke, you felt numb. You blended further into the background as you did your best to ignore the news. You wanted to visit her, make sure she was ok, talk to her, but you knew that even if her friends weren't protecting her like hawks, you would never build up the courage to go.
"What?! Have you not seen the creepy stares she gives her? And from what I've heard, she's obsessed with horror movies... most likely including Stab" She wasn't wrong, you did love horror movies, it was even one of the things that bonded you and Tara together, but you were more into the classics, choosing to stay away from new franchises such as stab - not that they knew that because, well, why would they.
"She has a point" Chad answers after a moment of contemplation, earning him a slap on the arm from his girlfriend. "What?! I'm just saying it would make sense" he pauses as he looks around the group, everyone giving him either a neutral expression or nodding along. "She doesn't talk to anyone, instead she just watches them, she is nowhere to be found when anything happens, and I can guarantee you she doesn't have an alibi for when Tara was attacked... It make's total sense"
"Look, I just don't think we should point fingers just yet. Everyone is a suspect so we can't trust anyone" Wes argues, earning another glare from Amber who rolls her eyes and grunts, "Sure, but don't expect me to help you when she's slitting your throat", before walking off.
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You lived alone, residing in a sad little trailer in a small trailer park on the outskirts of Woodsboro. Months ago, your parents had packed up all of their things and left to an undisclosed location, for an undisclosed amount of time, leaving you alone and without any income, struggling to stay afloat in an ocean of bills and debt. Despite this, you rather enjoyed your life alone and away from the busy-ish streets of the small town - not to mention that the eerie location added to your horror movie viewing experience.
The only thing that connected your little 'community' of four people to the centre of town, was your neighbour, Dewey. The oh-so famous ex-sheriff Dewey. As much as you admittedly hated the fact that people knew this place existed because of him, you truly did love the guy. He was like a father to you. To the best of his ability, he tried to fill in the massive void left in your life after your parent's disappearance.
He was basically the only person you actually talked to anymore.
Everyday after school, when you would ride your rusted bike down the secluded and winding streets that surrounded your home, your first stop was always his trailer. Most days he would be waiting expectedly on his doorstep, greeting you with a smile as you ranted to him about your day.
He even knew about Tara.
He was the only person holding you afloat, and for that, you would do absolutely anything for the man.
That being said, your bike screeched to a halt as you pulled into the trailer park, instantly noticing an unfamiliar car parked outside of his home. 'Odd' you thought to yourself as you hopped off your bike, letting it fall to the ground before taking small and almost hesitant steps towards his door.
As you reached Dewey's truck, you heard the door open as two strangers practically fell out of it. You immediately ducked behind the truck as the door slammed shut behind them, attempting to peer around the side of the vehicle to catch a glimpse of who they were.
"Jesus" the man starts, "Yeah, he's way more fun in the movies". Your brows furrowed at the statement. 'What the fuck is happening' was your immediate thought as you saw them head to their car. "Ok... So what's next?" "The friends". You stayed hidden as they hopped in their car and drove away, still incredibly confused about the whole situation.
No one ever came out here.
Waiting until the car disappeared down the road, you reappeared from behind the truck and began walking towards his door. Just as you were about to knock, the door swung open and you were met with an obviously somewhat distressed Dewey. He looks at you, surprised before he sighs and moves past you, heading for his truck.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on or are you just gonna leave?" you call out to him, noticing the gun holstered on his hip as his steps didn't even falter as he walked hurriedly to the driver-side door. "Hello?!". Again no response. Deciding to run after him, you quickly jump off of his small porch and bolt towards his truck, managing to grab ahold of his door handle before he could reach it.
"Really? so we are ignoring each other now" He looks far from amused as he looks at you, a hint of fear in his eyes, causing your gaze to soften. "What going on?". He stays silent for a moment, contemplating whether or not to tell you. "It's about Tara." He starts, looking at you cautiously. "Her sister and her boyfriend came and asked for my help... with ghost face" "Ok... and your helping them? I thought you said you never wanted to go through that again" "Yeah well I don't, but I don't really have much of a choice" he finishes, pulling your hand off of the handle and opening the door.
You could see the mix of concern and fear in his eyes, whether it was for himself or for someone else you didn't know, but what you did know, was that if he was in danger, so were you - after all you basically depended on him.
"Well in that case... I'm coming with you" You stated firmly as you rounded the truck and quickly hopped into the passenger seat. "What! No you are not, get out and go back inside." "Not happening" you mumble as you fasten your seatbelt, choosing to ignore his words as you wait for him to start the car. "Y/n I swear to g-" "I said no!" You yelled, causing Dewey's eyes to widen slightly.
There was a moment of silence in the car when neither of you dared to speak. You sighed in relief when you finally heard him start the engine, fastening his own seatbelt. Just before he started backing out, he glanced at you, signalling that this was your last chance to get out.
You didn't budge.
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As Dewey's truck groaned to a stop, you watched as Tara's sister and her boyfriend got out of their car and headed towards the door of a suburban home. You both stepped out of the truck before slamming the doors behind you, the noise of which caused their two heads to turn.
The sister looked at Dewey in a mix of confusion and relief as he spoke, "I have decided to temporarily assist you in your investigation". "Thank you" she replied, the ghost of a smile appearing on her face. Her eyes briefly shifted to you, stood behind Dewey as if he were a barricade, your face blank as you chewed on your lip in slight panic. She didn't question you though, she was just thankful that Dewey had offered to help, and if you were with him, she was all the more thankful.
As the four of you walked towards the door, you heard the boyfriend ask who you were, her reply being "I don't know". You understood their hesitation, I mean you were some random kid they had never met before who decided to tag along for a murder investigation so it wasn't necessarily 'normal'.
After the sister rang the door bell, you froze slightly as you watched Mindy answer the door. You suppose it was obvious that when Tara's sister said 'the friends' you should have caught on, but here you are looking like you had seen a ghost.
Sure, Mindy was always one of the nicer ones, or at least she had never openly threatened you or looked at you like you had committed some heinous crime, but that didn't make you any less terrified as to what was awaiting you inside the house you now knew belonged to the twins.
Hesitantly following the others, your head began to pound with the sound of your own heartbeat. As you entered the living room, you begged whatever was out there to let you disappear, turn into useless particles and drift away, because sat in front of you, was Tara's whole friend group.
The tension in the room sky-rocketed as all eyes landed on you. You felt like you were about to implode. Thankfully their resentful glares only lasted seconds before Tara's sister pulled their attention away from you, talking bout why she had brought everyone together.
Following Dewey, you reluctantly walked further into the room, slowly taking a seat next to him on the couch. With your hearing almost completely overcome by the sound of your own pounding heart, the words of Tara's sister, who you now know is called Sam, went in one ear and out the other.
You only blink back into reality when you hear Wes mention Dewey, "What about Deputy Dewey here? maybe he's the killer... no offence" "None taken, but what's my motive?" "You got stabbed a billion times, got dumped by your famous wife and crawled into a bottle. I think it's safe to say you're on the suspect list."
You don't think you had ever looked at someone so intensely, your eyes burning holes into his skull as he accused the only person you could ever trust. "That's bullshit" you couldn't help but call him out - sure his explanation made sense but it still pissed you off.
"Well what about you then". Your head whipped towards Amber's smug words, shock painting your features at her accusation. Your mouth hung open as she continued with a smirk. "I mean come on!" she laughs, "Your a horror fan right? So you love horror AND your a lonely freak who creepily stares at people for a hobby... Classic ghost face I'm telling you."
Speechless. You are absolutely speechless. Everyone's expected looks burn you as you attempt to find some kind of rebuttal, to say something. Anything. "I-I don't" "Where were you when Tara was attacked?" Amber interrupted.
You sucked in a harsh breath knowing you were home alone at the time, no one to back you up - not that anyone would've. "At home" you mumbled, Amber scoffing at you. "Alone I presume". You bit your tongue to stop yourself from cursing her out, eventually nodding hesitantly as your eyes began to burn with unshed tears.
"That's what I thought"
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After the whole 'interrogation' process had left you on the verge of a breakdown, you had grown evermore attached to Dewey, following him around like a lost puppy. So, naturally, when the news of Wes' murder broke, you were right beside him as he approached the fresh crime scene.
It was safe to say that he was concerned about your insistence of sticking with him, that added pressure of keeping you safe weighing on him as he inevitably brought you into something that you should never have had to worry about.
You felt cowardly as you became Dewey's extra limb, following him around as if he was the only thing that could protect you - and the sad truth was that he was. You were his own personal fly on the wall, rather unfortunately overhearing his conversation that he had with Gale.
Your face was blank as you had remained zoned out ever since you had heard the details of Wes and his mother's murders, even the thought made you sick to your stomach. You didn't know much about ghost face and their history, but one thing was for sure.
This one was a fucking psycho.
You were broken from your gruesome thoughts when you heard rushed footsteps approach from behind you. Your eyes were quick to notice Sam's figure approaching, coming to a halt in front of Dewey and the deputy he was talking to, a panicked look covering her face.
"Who's at the hospital?"
Your heart sinks. Everyone’s eyes stare at the deputy, awaiting an answer that never came.
"Who's watching my sister?!"
Images of Tara being attacked whilst helpless and unprotected in her hospital bed flash through your mind, sending a paralysing shiver down your spine.
"I-I just heard about the sheriff" You hear Sam scoff in a mixture of disbelief and fear, turning around and running to her car. You muttered ‘Fuck’ before you quickly followed suit. For once Dewey was on your tail as you make a desperate dash towards Sam’s car, needing nothing more than to get there already.
You swing the car door open as you scramble into the back seat. Sam, still unsure as to who you are, gives you a puzzled glance before Dewey enters the passenger seat next to her. She just stares at him for a second, almost as if she’s in a daze, until Dewey snaps her out of it.
"What are you waiting for? Drive! Come on let's go!"
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The drive to the hospital dragged on for what felt like hours. You had pushed Sam's call with ghost face back to a more-or-less distant thought, only tuning in when they mentioned Tara - the only thing you cared about.
The whole drive, you had been anxiously waiting on the edge of your seat, so as you finally parked outside the hospital, you rushed out the car door and ran towards the elevator.
Watching the floor levels tick by, the sound of Tara's whimpers echoing through the call filling your ears, you swallowed down your tears as you inhaled shakily, attempting to compose yourself for what you knew you were about to face.
As you approached Tara's floor, Dewey pulled his gun out of his holster and glanced back at you. "You ok kid?" he asked softly, his brows slightly creased as he noticed your seemingly panicked appearance. "I'm fine... let's just save Tara and get the hell out of here". Despite still being on the phone, Sam offered you a small, warm smile, clearly realising how much you must care for her sister.
"Or maybe I'm stalling for time, fuckhead"
The elevator dings and you watch as the doors begin to open. Through the growing crack you notice ghost face looming over Tara's helpless figure, your jaw immediately clenching at the sight. You flinch slightly as Dewey is quick to fire a shot at the masked figure. His aim clearly having deteriorated since he retired, he missed multiple shots as the figure dashed into a room for cover.
As ghost face disappeared into the room, you were quick to follow Dewey out of the elevator, immediately heading towards Tara. Just the sight of her tormented figure made you want to cry. Falling to the ground next to her, you were quick to cradle her head as you scanned her body for any new injuries.
Despite her bandaged hand having turned a bright shade of red, relief washed through you when you couldn't see any new wounds. If you thought the sound of her whimpers through a phone call was bad, this was utter torture. You attempted to compose yourself - although you would be lying if you said you weren't freaking the fuck out. Sam was quick to help Tara off the floor and towards the elevator as you comforted her the best you could.
"Tara... your ok... your ok come on" you whisper hurriedly, glancing over your shoulder to see Dewey helping Richie off the floor. You return your focus on getting Tara to the elevator, not noticing her glossy eyes looking at you dazed. "Y-Y/n... w-what are y-you d-doing here?" she brokenly asks, your eyes finally meeting hers.
You are unable to respond before you hear a large crash from behind you. The three of you quickly turn around, your face dropping in horror as you witness ghost face jumping towards Dewey. "Dewey no!" you scream as you let go of Tara and run towards him, the protests of the sisters falling on deaf ears.
Dewey's gun fires off a stray bullet as your hands grip onto ghost face's costume, successfully pulling them to the ground. You collapse next to the masked individual, only now realising you were completely unarmed and didn't really have a plan past this point.
'Oh fuck'
Your eyes widened in fear as ghost face jumps on top of you attempting to stab you in the chest as you push against them with all your strength. Dewey attempts to pull them off of you as you struggle to hold the approaching knife from impaling your chest. Not appreciating his attempts at heroics, Ghost face quickly elbowed Dewey in the face, causing him to collapse onto his back and his gun to fly out of his grip.
"No no no no" you whimper as the mask looks back at you, its rich black eyes staring through your soul. You wrestle in their grip as they wind their knife back before thrusting it into your torso. You scream as you feel your abdomen burn, the knife piercing your skin and lodging itself deep within your gut. Your shirt quickly turned a bright shade of red as the blood began to flow from your new wound.
You cry out in pain as the knife is viciously ripped out, your vision beginning to blur with tears as your body erupts in pain. You hear Tara screaming your name as the knife pierces your skin for a second time, your body simultaneously burning and freezing as you feel yourself slowly sinking into the floor.
And they keep stabbing you. Again, and again, and again.
Stab wounds litter your body as you continue to scream, each one becoming quieter as you quickly lose energy, the sound of blood gargling in the back of your throat now accompanying your helpless screams.
You could almost sense their smile from behind the mask. The anger behind each of their strokes increasing as they went to town on you, blood now beginning to slowly seep from the corner of your mouth.
Your energy was seeping from your body as fast as the blood that continued to pour from your eight stab wounds. You curl in on yourself as ghost face is finally tackled off of you, coughing violently as blood splatters into the pool of your own blood that had seeped across the floor.
You were barely conscious when you heard numerous shots ring out through the hallway, instantly waking you from your looming coma. Turning your head as far as you could in your dazed state, you saw Dewey rushing over to you with what appears to be an unconscious ghost face behind him.
"Y/n" he breathes, scanning your weak and bloodied figure. Sucking in a hesitant breath, he carefully picks you up, his hands already covered in your warm blood. You grunt in pain as you feel your wounds stretch and pull. Your head falls onto his shoulder, your entire body aching as he limps towards the elevator, passing a concerned Sam and Tara. Tara watches as your blood leaves a trail behind Dewey, already seeping through both of your clothes.
Even when on deaths door, the sound of Tara's sobs cause you to look in her direction, worry filling your glassy eyes. To your surprise she is already looking at you with a similar expression. You try your best to put a smile on your bloodied face, but at this point any kind of movement sends shocks of pain down your crippled frame.
You clench your eyes shut in pain as you feel Dewey put you down on the cold elevator floor- why was he putting you down?
"The head" he says as he stands back up. Fading in and out of consciousness, you struggle to comprehend what he is saying, looking at him through your drooping eyes. "What?", "You have to shoot'em in the head, or they always come back.". You watch as he slowly steps backwards out of the elevator. Your mouth falls open as it finally starts sinking in.
This wasn't happening. This couldn't be fucking happening.
"Dewey! Who gives a fuck?!"
"I do"
"Dewey! No!" you let out a blood curdling scream, using all of your remaining energy to try and keep the door open, only for it to close in front of you. "No!" you screamed again, you voice shattering as you slam your fist continuously into the door. "No no Dewey come back! Come back please! I need you please!" you begged, knowing all eyes were on you but not caring how broken you looked.
"Please Dewey... please..." you cried, eventually collapsing of pure exhaustion, a metallic taste overtook your senses as your adrenaline finally ran out, the world around you turning black.
As the world falls in around you, you catch a glimpse of Tara's distraught expression watching you from behind Sam who attempts to keep you awake, inevitably failing.
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Bright lights sting your tired eyes as you slowly blink away your exhaustion. 'What the fuck' is your first thought, your mind blank as to how you ended up in... a hospital? You try to sit up in an attempt to look around, stopped when you feel a sharp pain shoot through your torso, causing you to grimace.
You exhale shakily as you collapse back onto the bed. Hesitantly, you reach your shaking hand down to pull up your hospital gown, revealing what can only be described as 'a shit ton' of bandages. "What the..."
"No...", it hits you like a truck. "No... no no no, this can't be happening". The steady sound of your heart monitor starts to beep rapidly. You begin to panic as you breath erratically, trying to disconnect all the useless wires that were connected to you in an attempt to escape this all to realistic nightmare.
Apparently hearing your struggle, Sam walks into the room with a worried look on her face. "Hey! y/n calm down... calm down it's ok... it's ok." She rushes over to the bed and takes your hands in hers. You were a stuttering mess, your eyes unable to focus on anything in particular as you tried to wrestle out of the bed, her firm grip stopping you from going anywhere.
Eventually her gentle touch grounded you, her hands stroking yours gently as she looked at you sympathetically - a look you appreciated but knew couldn't be good. "Wheres Dewey?" Was the first thing that came out of your mouth once you had calmed down. You noticed how her posture slump slightly as her eyes fall to the ground - that can't be good.
"He's fine right? tell me he's ok... please" you brokenly begged her, tears rolling down your cheeks as you knuckles turned white from the strength in which you were gripping her hands. When she finally lifted her head back up, her eyes brimming with her own tears, a whole new wave of pain erupted through you.
"No no no no no!" you sobbed, Sam instantly pulling you into a tight embrace whilst remaining careful of your stitches. "He was all I had" you cried into her chest, her own heart breaking at your words.
She allowed you to cry into her chest as she gently stroked your hair. It had been a very long time since you had experienced such affection, not sharing a proper hug since before your parents had decided you were a lost cause. It was a feeling you missed.
Despite never wanting to leave her warm embrace, you eventually pulled back, wiping your nose as you sniffled away the remnants of your tears. You slumped back into your bed, feeling nothing but numbness overcome your body. Sam just sat there with you for a while, offering you whatever comfort she could whilst you let everything sink in.
You had nothing left. Absolutely nothing.
Just as that thought crossed your mind, you heard something approaching from the doorway, causing you to raise your head slowly, expecting a nurse or something to be coming to check on you. Instead, you watched as Richie rolled Tara in on a wheelchair, the injured girl flashing you a small smile.
If you hadn't been paralysed by your overbearing emotions you would've returned the gesture, instead your eyes looked back towards Sam whose lips similarly showed a small smile. "We're getting the fuck out of Woodsboro... wanna come?"
You looked back over towards Tara, her sweet features still offering you a warm smile. Your heart swelled as something inside you told you that it was her idea for you to accompany them. Your eyes welled with tears at the thought, finally offering her a wet smile, chuckling despite your tears as you nod enthusiastically.
"I would fucking love to"
Tag-list:@nitchxhdc @emeraldevan @looseheartedlady @the-night-owl-blr @badassjaguar @txmxav @oh-thats-cute @blckrwidow @cacciatricediartemide @flaiire1805 @rainbow-love4ever @fall-08 @simp4nat @natashadeservedmore @livingforwaddams @alexkolax @ssinfulprayers @wifeyjennaortega
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vroomvro0mferrari · 1 month
Text
CL16 | Awkward Advances
Summary: You are best friends with Alex Albon. When you go to the bar with him and his driver friends, you decide to shoot your shot. But with the amount of drinks consumed, it doesn't go as smoothly as planned.
Charles Leclerc x female!Reader
WC: 2.1K
Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, maybe talking yourself down?
Masterlist
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You have met Alex's friends many times. Every time he invited you to a race, he made sure you had someone to talk to when he was busy. Of course, most times his girlfriend Lily, who had also turned into your best friend, was there to keep you entertained, but when she wasn't, he set up some other people to take care of you. You had met many people that way: his engineer, his PR manager, and many other team members. But he also introduced you to several drivers: Nicholas Latifi, Nyck de Vries, Logan Sargeant, George Russel, Lando Norris, and even Max Verstappen and Charles Leclerc. You had conversations with all of them, and they were all great people to talk with, but Charles Leclerc was different.
Like many other girls, you thought he was really, really handsome, and so sweet as well. And you got along great, better than with any other of Alex's friends. It's safe to say you had at least a little crush on him. Who are you kidding, it's a pretty big crush, and it's been going on for quite a while. But you'd never actually made a move on him. Why would you? He would never like you back. It wouldn't make any sense, Charles Leclerc is famous and rich, surprisingly sweet, talented, intelligent, a great conversationalist and insanely attractive. What else could you wish for in a man? He has his pick of the litter, nearly any girl would love to be with him, so why would he choose the silly friend of one of his colleagues?
So, you never tried to make a move or flirt with him. Because you knew it wouldn't lead to anything, but also because you're a terrible flirt. You never know when's the right time to flirt, what to say, and you're always either too subtle or not subtle enough. It's a difficult balance that you've never managed to find.
Tonight, you are once again going out with Alex and his friends, including Charles. The night's been great, you've been dancing for hours, and you and Lily have made numerous new friends. Right now, you're sitting at the bar to get another drink, while Lily is joining Alex in the booth your group is occupying. As the night carries on, and the drinks keep coming, you are definitely moving from tipsy to drunk. When you finally receive your drink, you decide to join the rest of the group at the booth. Sitting next to Alex, leaning on him, you look around the group. Everyone had dressed up, ready for a great night out and enjoying the time spent with friends. And Charles, he looked so good. In the black button-up he was wearing, more buttons undone than done, and his messy hair. Your drunk mind could barely handle it and found it very, very difficult to focus your eyes elsewhere, and Alex wouldn't be him if he hadn't noticed your staring.
"You've been staring at him for a while now." He whispered, or at least it sounded like a whisper.
"Hm? What are you talking about?" You slowly turned your head back to the boy next to you.
"You're more obvious than you think. He'll notice soon."
You blushed as you realised Alex knew about your crush on his friend. You shouldn't be surprised though, Alex knows you through and through. He would have found out eventually.
"What are you talking about?" A drunk Lily asks you, bending around Alex to look at you properly.
Alex responds for you: "[Y/N]'s crush."
Lily gasps, "You have a crush? Who is it?" she yells loudly.
Your eyes quickly dart over the group, ensuring they didn't overhear that just now. "Shh, not the whole world has to know." You look over the group again, before you move closer, "It's Charles." You're blushing again.
"You should go flirt with him!"
"Are you crazy? I can't flirt, especially when I'm drunk."
"Nothing like a little liquid courage to help you flirt. I'm sure you'll be fine!" Lily turns to Alex, "Come, let's get another drink!" and pulls him up, winking at you.
Fuck, should you do it? What does it matter anyway? If it ends badly, you can just blame it on the alcohol, right?
Just then, seeing you're left alone, Charles moves to sit next to you.
You turn to him.
"Hey, how are you doing?" You ask him.
"I'm good. Having fun." He smiles at you. To him, it's obvious you're drunk. He decided not to drink tonight and was completely sober, different from most of the group.
God, he looks so good. You are going to do this, no time like the present, right? "That's good. You look handsome tonight, clean up well." You say, moving your hand to touch his upper arm and looking into his eyes. You can feel your heart beating in your chest, but no matter how nervous you are, and how nervous he makes you, you're not backing down now.
"Uhm, thank you." He responds chuckling a bit. He did not expect that from you. He thought you were sweet and had noticed that you were always slightly flustered around him, and he also knew you were not very upfront and direct. He suspected you had a crush on him, but maybe you were just very shy, and behaved like this around everyone. Nevertheless, he had never expected you to say something like this - to flirt(?) with him like this, so straightforward. He's surprised, to say the least, and maybe feels a bit awkward at the situation too, because what is he supposed to do? But you don't notice, and continue.
"I mean, you always look good, but especially tonight." You smile with fake confidence.
He looks away from you, chuckling again, adjusting his body to subtly push you to the edge of the booth. Fuck, that hint is so clear it's hard to miss, even when you're drunk. Your smile falters as you realise he wants you to leave – to leave him alone. Your false, alcohol-induced confidence falls, realising you made a mistake doing this now. He obviously isn't into you. You knew this, yet you tried. You never should've.
"You're pretty drunk, no? Let me find Alex, hm? He can take you back?"
You nod softly, disappointed at his rejection. He now fully pushes you out of the booth, but sets you back as he stands up.
"I'm gonna find him, okay? You stay here."
You just nod, and sit still waiting for him to come back. God, you're so embarrassed. Why did you have to do this again? You knew this would happen, that he'd reject you. You feel the tears welling up in your eyes. You've never felt this embarrassed. You try and blink them away as you see Charles return with Alex and Lily.
"Let's get you home, yeah?" Alex says when he's back at the booth.
You feel like a toddler when he pulls you up and helps you walk out of the club to the taxi. This couldn't have ended worse.
In the cab, he asks you: "So it didn't work out?"
You shake your head and lean on his shoulder, Lily doing the same on the other side, as she speaks "I'm sorry, it'll be okay"
The headache in the morning was the worst. And the realisation of what you had done last night settling in certainly wasn't helping. Lily and Alex took you back to their room last night, and let you crash on the couch they had in their very luxury room.
They were already walking around and getting ready for breakfast when you first opened your eyes. You were moving around, trying to find a more comfortable spot on the very uncomfortable couch when Lily spotted you.
"Good morning sleeping beauty." She says way too excitedly for the time of the day. Actually, you don't even know what time it is, but you assume it's too early after a night out.
"How are you so cheerful right now? If I remember correctly you were just as drunk as me last night, if not more." You say grumpily, sitting up.
"Lots and lots of water, and aspirin." Lily smiles at you, grabbing you a glass of water and aspirin as well.
"So, you want to fill in the gaps on what happened with Charles last night? Before he came to get me?" Alex asked.
You groan, "I don't even want to think about it. It was so bad. I knew he would reject me, but I still tried anyway. It's so stupid. I'm so stupid for thinking it would work out."
"You're not stupid for trying. What did you say to him?" Lily continued, handing the water to you.
"I told him that he looked good and then he laughed at me, told me I was drunk and left to get you." You take a sip of water and take the pill. "I shouldn't have expected any differently. He never showed any signs that he was into me."
"What are you talking about? He's always staring at you when you're near." Lily says, confused.
"He's not. And even if he is, it doesn't matter because he rejected me last night.", you sigh.
"I'm sorry, babe. I'm sure you'll find someone else who likes you just as much as you like them." She smiles sympathetically. "We're going down for breakfast now, you wanna join us?"
"Yeah, you go. I'll come down in a bit. I want to take a shower first."
You go to your room to take a shower as soon as Lily and Alex leave to go to the breakfast hall, where they meet the rest of the group.
"Hey, guys. How's [Y/N] doing? She was pretty drunk last night, no? Is she very hungover?" Charles asks as soon as Lily and Alex sit across from him.
"Nothing aspirin can't fix." Alex smiled.
"She was acting pretty weird last night, told me I looked handsome and stuff. I've never seen her acting like that."
"Yeah, that's why she never flirts. She sucks at it, and people always think she's acting weird." Alex says laughing.
Charles looks surprised. "That was flirting? She was flirting with me?"
"Yes, Charles. I thought you knew she liked you?"
Charles shrugged, "I didn't know for sure, but I suspected it, yes.", he looked somewhat confused at the revelation.
"Look, maybe you should talk to her. She's really embarrassed about last night and would hate for things to get weird because you rejected her. Just to make sure everything's good between you two, you know?" Alex explained
"I didn't reject her? I just-" Charles is interrupted.
"Hey, [Y/N]! How you doing?" Lando asked her as you walked to the table.
"Hey, I'm fine. Just a bit hungover." you responded, a fake smile on your lips.
"I'm not surprised." He said laughing, "I've never seen you so drunk."
Your face flushed as you laughed awkwardly, taking place on the only available chair, next to Charles, of course.
You glare at Alex, knowing he did this on purpose. He shrugged his shoulders with a sneaky smile as he sipped his water. Naturally, he had to make sure the only open chair was the one next to Charles.
"You're not hungry?" Charles asked you, moving his face closer to your ear as the group moved on to the next topic.
"No, I don't think I can keep anything down right now." You responded with a small smile. "By the way, I'm sorry for last night. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything."
"Oh, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I just thought you were very drunk, and it would be better for you to go back to the hotel."
You smiled tightly, looking away to avoid any eye contact.
"I didn't mean to reject you if that's what it seemed like."
You kept staring at the table, but you could feel your face becoming hotter as you picked at your nails to keep yourself occupied.
"I didn't think you were serious. You really are a bad flirter." Charles chuckled again.
You're face was surely as red as a tomato right now.
"If you come to dinner with me sometime, I'll show you how it's done."
Could your face get any redder? You don't think so. You look up at Alex sitting across from you. He looked away, pretending not to overhear the one-sided conversation Charles was having with you.
You nodded your head, "Okay" you said softly.
Charles put his arm on the back of your chair, "Great!" he said with a cheeky smile.
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auroreliis · 6 months
Note
Batfam would have to do research on my special interests if they want to win me over fast but also the thought of super serious Bruce and Damian watching/reading jojos bizarre adventure is really funny to me
Absolutely they would. For you, they would binge every show, play every game and read every paragraph of a book just to have something in common with you. They would all do it for different reasons, but in the end, you would have to listen to them outnerd you.
Bruce's regard for your interests is wholesome. He genuinely wants to know what makes you happy, what you do in your free time, what you could talk about for hours. In order to be able to listen to you talk for hours, he surrounds himself with your interests. You like this artist? He buys a few of their most popular albums. This game is entertaining to you? He either tries it out or watches you play it. There's this film you're excited about? He watches it with you.
Although most of your interests are different, he does actually find himself enjoying anything you enjoy. Perhaps it reminds him of you.
Dick has this one fear. He believes that no matter how persistent he is, if you aren't reciprocating his clinginess, the two of you will grow apart eventually, so he never leaves you alone, even when you beg him to. It isn't really a secret, as he makes it quite obvious, but he hopes you will one day embrace him as he embraces you. You probably get sick of him and tell him how boring he is, which shatters his heart completely.
Now he has to figure out a way to spend time with you, but he needs to make sure you are also enjoying his company, lest you hurt him with your cruelty once more, so he researches every last fact about your interests, be it an activity, a game, a book, a person, he knows everything about it. Dick doesn't want to make it obvious that he only found out this information the night prior, so he cautiously needs to start a conversation.
He most likely waits until you are occupied with your interest before walking up to you, "Hey, is that _____? Wow, I used to be obsessed with it as a kid, I'm suprised you even know it, it isn't that popular and it's quite old." He pats your head and sits down next to you, grinning as you start rambling about it to him. You are actually talking to him. It worked.
Jason is careful when sharing his interests with you. He needs to preserve his reputation as your cool older brother and usually people don't share his interests, so when he finds you reading a classic book, he seats himself nearby, waiting for you to finish reading. Once you're done, he makes sure you enjoyed the book before fanboying about it. You immediately notice how much of a nerd he is. He also recommends similar books or ones he thinks you would enjoy as well. In the end he pulls you into so many fandoms that you stop listening when he recommends books. You've already got like 40 more to read.
Tim does not have this problem. The moment he knew you existed, he educated himself and has kept up with your interests ever since. "Just in case", or ,"Just because", he said, typing a summary of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. "I might as well", he takes notes while binging One Piece. This guy is clinically insane. Fortunately for him, he can now start conversations with you very easily, since he knows everything about your interests (and everything else about you).
Side note: If you refuse to spend time with him even after he did all that for you, the following outcomes are possible:
Either you pity him and spend time with him or Dick tries and fails to guilt trip you, only to end up forcing you to spend time with poor Tim who was awake for a whole week just to impress you (Tim frantically nods along with anything Dick says).
Damian takes great pride in having things in common with you, so as soon as he notices you being fond of something, he surrounds himself with it. You have a favourite colour? He creates a few painting with specifically that colour. You like a certain animal? He will try to adopt one. Damian would, of course, never admit it to you, but he desperately wants you to notice that you two have similar interests (As in, you have an interest and he pretends to also like it just so you maybe talk to him).
If you don't talk to him, he will become more aggressive with his attempts of having you notice him, perhaps randomly coming into your room to paint, claiming that the lighting there is better. Or he asks Bruce to adopt a certain animal during dinner. His attempts are obvious to you, but he doesn't know that.
Cassandra wouldn't really need to share interests with you. She's always close to you anyway. While she does speak to you every now and then, she is perfectly comfortable with sitting in your proximity in silence. However, if you ever asked her to, she would research anything you need her to in order to rant or ramble to her. As long as she has her eyes on you, anything is fine.
Stephanie immediately goes to Tim for help, knowing that he went insane and made a bunch of summaries and notes. First, she makes fun of him, then she apologises, because he threatened to take the notes away, she then complains about how much there is to read before finishing the essays Tim wrote, giving herself about a week. Steph then talks to you as if she didn't go through all that trouble just to have a topic to talk to you about.
Dick told Barbara all about his shenanigans. She even helped him figure out what you're interested in, even researching about it herself. She isn't as intrusive as the others, instead waiting until the moment is right, not wanting to scare you away or overwhelm you. Perhaps if you're alone, she'll come up to you and start with small talk, only really mentioning your special interest if it's involved somehow. Overall, she is the least feral of the bunch (in this situation, at least).
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wasawattpadkid · 1 year
Text
Housewife
Part - 7
Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?
Pairing: poly!ghostface x fem!reader
Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating,
Part 1
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It was the sleepover you never had. Although there was no pillow fights and a little too much Tom Cruise, you had the best time you've had in a while. "God you sound like Billy." Sydney laid back in her bed toying with her hair nervously. "I'm sorry, I'm not trying to be hateful. It's not just scary movies either, you haven't seen any classics?" Tatum snickered throwing her stuffed animal in the air, catching it as it fell back down. "Well you haven't seen any new movies. It's like for the past 6 years you've been locked in grandmas basement."
"Maybe you're right." You sat on the floor organizing your bag. "Do you have any songs or movies you like that your dad or someone else in your family doesn't like?" Sydney asked genuinely curious. You thought about it for a second but your silence answered the question for them. "You've been totally brainwashed babe." Tatum quipped in a way that made you feel a little ashamed. "Y/n there's nothing wrong with liking the things you do, but you should be doing it because you like it and not because someone else does."
"Yeah you need to take notes from Syd here. She is thee feminist. Billy and her have been dating for over a year and she still hasn't slept with him." The brown haired girl looked upset at her friend's honesty. "What'd I say wrong? I wish I could do what you do. I know If I left Stu to his own devices he would just find someone else to help him out." You looked to the floor ready to throw up at a moments notice. That's what this was. You weren't special. Billy took an interest in you because he thought you would put out unlike his girlfriend. "Y/n?"
"I should break up with my boyfriend." You said flatly, all the moisture from your mouth disappeared at the realization. "Huh?" Sydney asked confused by the switch up but Tatum however was your number one cheerleader. "Hell yeah kick that bastard to the curb! What did he do?" Dylan wasn't even that good of a boyfriend back home you weren't sure why he wanted to keep things long distance. This whole discussion though made you want to change some things. "He still lives back home and I just really want to start over now."
You rang up your boyfriend and called it quits. The yelling on the phone was a surprise but Tatum quickly took the phone from you saying something you weren't really sure you were allowed to repeat. Sleeping in a house that wasn't your's was hard especially when you kept thinking about the two men you knew a little too well. Sunday morning was a blur, it consisted of cereal, the news going on about the murders, and school gossip. Eventually you and the girls made it back to Tatum bedroom.
"Hello you must be Y/n." The cop held out his hand for you to shake, which you did. "I'm Dewy." He said. His awkward presence was somehow comforting. "Ew dipshit don't flirt with my friends." Tatum complained making Sydney crack a smile. Red sprinkled his cheeks as he tried to defend himself. "You're fine. It's nice to meet you, Dewy. So you're a cop?" You point to the badge just trying to make conversation. "Here we go." Tatum whispered and Dewy smiled. "I'm actually a deputy." He tapped his badge with pride.
"He's just like Arnold Schwarzenegger... In kindergarten cop." Tatum made fun of him again almost making you crack a smile. "I think it's cool." He looked over at Sydney noticing her quietness. "How are you Syd?" She nodded with a fake smile. "Yesterday was hard so today has to be better." Dewy nodded. "I'm sorry to hear about your grandparents." Tatum's brother looked at you as he spoke. The word "grandparents" made you look up. "Oh um... Thanks." You weren't quite sure what the appropriate response to that was. "I'm going to use the bathroom." You excused yourself leaving the three of them together.
"Why would you bring that up?" Tatum scolded. "What happened to her grandparents?" Sydney asked. Dewy leaned on the door frame looking down the hallway making sure you were out of ear shot. "They committed suicide together. Both of them took a handful of sleeping pills, and she found them." The two girls felt bad hearing the information. Tatum remembered a commotion happening at the house down the street but she never knew what exactly had happened. Just that you moved in shortly after.
You walked back to the bedroom once you dried your face off from the water you threw onto your skin. "Well I've got to get going. Do you girls need anything?" He asked and everyone said no. Dewy left with a wave shutting the door behind him. "Sorry he's not very socially aware." Tatum apologized but you just nodded. "It's fine. Really." They didn't believe you but they dropped the discussion anyhow.
The day went on with Tatum doing your nails and trying on half the clothes you brought over. You offered Sydney to join in but she declined. Later on you and Sydney talked about what books you had read which Tatum was not interested in at all. It was much harder keeping them two entertained than it was with Billy and Stu. There didn't seem to be much common ground between the girls. You slept much easier than the night previous. Maybe you were finally settling in.
"Wake up girls." Tatum's mom beat on the door making everyone but Tatum jump up. You groaned as Sydney went to wake up her friend. You pulled a pair of bell-bottoms from your bag along with an old band shirt. It wasn't what you'd normally wear to school but you didn't have the time nor energy to doll yourself up. "I like the grunge look on you." You felt partially offended by Tatum's compliment because there was nothing "grunge" about your look. The outfit consisted of jeans, a shirt, no makeup, paired with hair you hadn't had the chance to fix.
"You look comfortable." Sydney chirped meaning well. Their back handed compliments made you want to crawl in a hole. You sat down with the girls in the kitchen, quickly eating breakfast before Dewy came to take you to school. You offered to just get your car but Dewy refused saying he was fine to drive. The thought about skipping the day completely had crossed your mind multiple times.
The moment the car stopped at school you said goodbye to your friends. "I've got to go grab some things from my locker I'll catch you at lunch." You didn't give them time to protest. Unfortunately for you Stu was at your locker waiting patiently for your appearance. "Yo Betty Crock- Pants?" You weren't in the mood for either one of their antics. "You look lovely today." He said like a kid with a crush. Stu swayed back and forth on his heels waiting for you to acknowledge his existence. "Did I do something wrong?" You slammed your locker shut making him jump.
"I'll take that as a yes." You turned to walk away but it never did any good with Stu. "I can't fix this if you don't tell me what's wrong." You stopped, looking at him with tears stinging your eyes. "We can't do this Stu." You pulled him to the side out of everyone's way. "You and Billy are my friends." The emphasis on friends made his heart shrink a little. "I would hope so after everything-" He tried to crack a joke to make you laugh but he didn't realize you felt like the joke was on you. "Would you just listen!" You cut him off grabbing the attention of some bystanders. You waited a moment for people to pass by before speaking.
"This cannot happen. Me, you, and Billy, can no longer happen. No more hanging out at my place, no more ambushing me in public bathrooms," He smiled at that not being able to take a single thing seriously. "No more hanging around at my locker. Tatum and Sydney are sweet girls who don't deserve what we did to them. As long as they are in the picture I'm not going to be, understand?" The bottom line was you weren't a plaything and you weren't a homewrecker. Stu however took it the way he wanted to.
"I understand. I'm sorry if we overstepped." You were ready for him to get on one knee and embarrass you into forgiving him. This was a nice change. "Thank you Stu." He smiled. "Will you still hang with us at lunch?" Damnit. "No Stu, I won't. I've got to make new friends. Since day one all I've known is you and Billy. And now that I've gotten to know Sydney and Tatum, I realized I need my own thing." The bell rung ending the conversation prematurely. "See ya Stu."
"Shit, Shit, Shit," Stu repeated the word over and over like a small prayer. He walked the halls quickly finding Billy's first period class. Stu waved like a mad man trying to get his friend's attention through the window. "May I go to the bathroom?" Billy asked already getting up from his seat. "You may Mr. Loomis." The boy wasn't too happy with the sudden distraction. "This better be good." Billy started walking towards the bathroom with Stu in tow.
"Y/n is dropping us." Billy stopped in his tracks at the confession. Calmly he took a breath saving his anger for a secluded spot. He picked of his feet once again heading towards the restroom. Stu was terrified not only of losing you but also of his friends short fuse. The moment the bathroom door was locked he exploded. "What the fuck do you mean?" Billy cursed as he pushed open each stall checking for anyone. "She said it was wrong what we were doing to Tatum and Syd and as long as they were in the picture she wasn't going to be." Billy grabbed Stu's shirt by the collar. "This shit wouldn't have happened if you didn't call Sydney the other night."
He pushed his friend backwards letting Stu's back hit the wall. "How many times do I have to tell you I didn't do it man?" Billy didn't believe him. Stu was always doing something he shouldn't be. "We'll go back to our plan. Do everything exactly the same way just a little later than we hoped." Billy breathed out thinking of how to pull this off. "Syd's mom's anniversary was Saturday."
"You think I don't know that dipshit?" He pointed in Stu's face. Running his hands through his hair he tried to calm down. "Neil killed Casey and Steve on Wednesday night. That's when he told Syd he was leaving town." Stu just nodded along listening to Billy. "With all the publicity of the murders he wasn't able to kill anyone's else so he calls his daughter Friday night."
"How does he know she's with Tatum?" Billy paced back and forth. "Neil's been stalking her because she's his next victim. He sees Syd leave his house with Tatum. Anyway he scares the shit out of his daughter Friday night laying low till Monday. Ghostface will make a guest appearance today to meet Syd. Himbry will have to close shop because of the killer. You'll tell everyone you're throwing a party to celebrate the break. Invite Syd and Tatum since Y/n is such good friends with them now she'll have to go with them."
It was like watching a genius at work. Stu really believed Billy could pull it off. "Neil kills Himbry. They went to school together back in the day it could be old revenge. At the party I'll take care of Tatum first but you'll have to send her to the garage and make sure no one goes with her." Billy looked at Stu waiting for him to promise to do his job. "Yes Sir." Billy looked at his boots piecing together the rest of the puzzle. "Neil kills Tatum after that I show up to apologize for being a shitty boyfriend. I'll take Syd up to your room that's where you'll have to "kill" me. You'll grab Sydney and bring her to the kitchen. We'll reveal everything blow her daddy's brains out and then Syd is the cherry on top of a really fucked up cake."
It was a good plan in Stu's eyes. "Where does that leave Y/n?" Billy smiled "She's going to rescue us. Neil's dead and so is his daughter. We've been stabbed left for dead but poor Y/n comes along and calls the cops helping us live to see another day. All we have to do is hit her hard enough to keep her out for awhile. Which means before I show up late I'll need you to get her alone in a room. I'll show up dressed in black and knock her unconscious. You'll go back to the party and I'll show up fashionably late."
"I could kiss you." Stu said happily throwing out his arms. "Don't make me stab you early." Billy threatened. Stu's smile dropped. "Now I'm going back to class I'll see Syd later today just keep being your bubbly self. You got that?" Stu nodded happy everything was going to work out after all.
"It was just some sick fuck having a laugh." Tatum tried to convince Sydney. "She's right Syd I mean those assholes were running up and down the hallways with masks." Sydney shook her head at you sure of what she saw. "It was him. I know it." You walked down the steps right next to your friends. "From now on you are not to be alone. You pee, I pee." Tatum added. Stu ran up spouting some gibberish giving you and the girls a flower. "Darling, I don't know what you did Sydney but on behalf of the entire student body we say thank you!"
Tatum tapped her boyfriend with the flower. "Stop it Stu." She gritted trying to tone down his behavior. "You know I say," He picked Tatum up throwing her over his shoulder. The very cute display made you advert your eyes. You didn't know why you were upset this is exactly what you asked him to do. But it still somehow felt he was going out of his way to upset you.
"Impromptu party tonight, my house. To celebrate this little scare storm, what do ya say?" You and Sydney kept walking while Stu trailed behind. "Are you serious?" Sydney questioned the insane kid. "Parents are out of town." He smacked Tatum's ass causing her to sqeek with a laugh. "If this little vixen doesn't invite the whole world we'll be fine. Mix in with the gathering, mix in with friends." He sat Tatum down letting her talk to Sydney.
You watched Stu trying hard to convince Sydney to go. "What do you say Syd? I mean Pathos could have it's perks. Y/n's never been to one of Stu's parties." Tatum said dragging you into it. "I don't really have party clothes plus what if the killer is there?" You questioned. "I'll totally protect you. Yo I am so buff, I got you covered girl." Tatum laughed at her boyfriend. Sydney whined not liking the idea at all. "I mean come on Syd. For me? It could be fun." Stu proceeded to kiss Tatum's neck bringing back all too fresh memories. "Okay, whatever." Tatum squealed.
"Nice!" Stu said "Make sure you girls bring some food when you come over." Stu left you and your friends to go run off somewhere. "I think I'm just going to head home for tonight." Sydney piped up. "No way. If I'm going you have to go." You threw your head back with a groan. "I don't even have clothes for a party." Tatum spun around. "Now that I can help with."
You raised your hand in protest. "You're not dressing me up like a prostitute." Sydney smiled knowing exactly how Tatum would've dressed you. "You're no fun." Tatum teased as you walked back to Dewy's car. Sydney looked at the ground while you and Tatum discussed what you'd wear. Something wasn't sitting right with her but she wasn't sure what it was.
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(if your name has a line through it Tumblr wouldn't let me tag you.)
Part 8
Taglist: @katie-tibo @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n @msghostface @gojosbucket @sammanna @lokigirlszendaya @reneki @fetusharryluvr @kadu-5607 @pumpk1n-writes @lovekeeho @tojisblood @zeysartzone @bluedevilss @life-of-music3 @flyestvenustrap @littleblondesoprano @imobsessedreader @loomiscorpse @nicciekawegosblog @reneemunson @miss-puregotti @ksgsfsgaj @zoleea-exultant
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whiskeyncoke-redux · 1 year
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I keep thinking about fluff/smut where, for once, Pedro Pascal is the one crushing on (fem) reader- don’t get me wrong, I love all the daddy dom vibes, but him catching feelings for a funny/sweet younger woman and getting all flustered about it?
Maybe a mid-late 20-something year old, someone who is a friend of a friend or an extra on set~ I just think as flirty and charming as he is, he’d be one to get as red as a tomato around his little crush <3
What do you think? I’d love to hear your take!
Okay, so first, sorry it took me so long to respond, I saw this ask and I got an Idea™ and I had to run with it because why not? Second, I hope you like what I came up with as an answer, I tried. So here it is:
Ask Her
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Pedro Pascal x Reader
A/N: I haven't written anything in forever, I'm still suffering from Writer's Block so go easy on me. Also it's not proofread and it's 6:40 in the morning so any mistakes are my bad. Special thanks to @ziggyrocket for the support 💜.
Warnings: None
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the third time that day that you felt his eyes on you, and when you turned around to look at him, you saw him look away quickly.
Next to him, Bella, rolled their eyes. "You know you could just go over and talk to her," they pointed out.
He shook his head. "And say what?"
"Umm how about 'Hi, how are you? How’s your day going?’ to start with."
“Right and then what?”
“Then you have a conversation like a normal person…” Nico chimed in from his other side.
“And eventually ask her out,” Bella finished, “because this whole staring and then looking away thing is ridiculous.”
“Yeah and you clearly like her,” Nico added.
Pedro averted his eyes and looked down at his phone in his hands, clearly not wanting to admit to anything. 
Nico and Bella exchanged glances over his head and with a mischievous glint in their eye, Bella gasped, “Oh, she’s looking over here!”
Pedro’s head shot up, his cheeks turning a bright red, as he looked over to where you were; but you were deep in conversation with one of the other make-up artists, not even remotely looking that way.. Nico and Bella snickered at him. He sighed and shook his head at them.
“Oh, don’t be like that,” Bella said, “I was just proving our point.”
Nico nodded. “Eventually, you’re gonna have to talk to her.”
As fate would have it, “eventually” came sooner than expected. Later that week, you were assigned to do his make-up, since the artist that regularly did it was out for the day. So, when Pedro walked in and saw you standing there, he stopped abruptly and just stared for a second. You didn’t notice at first, since your back was turned, but when you looked into the mirror and saw him standing there, looking at you, you smiled wide and turned around.
“Hi.”
He opened his mouth but no sound came out. He then cleared his throat. “Hi,” he managed to get out. “Um, where’s…?”
“She had something she had to do, family I think, so you have me today,” you answer, “I promise, you’re in good hands.” You gave him another smile and gestured for him to sit in the chair. 
He sat and you began carefully applying his make-up. At first you worked in silence, neither of you sure of what to say. 
You had felt his eyes on you from the moment you walked on set. You weren’t so sure that it meant anything in the beginning. You were, after all, just a lowly make-up artist, not even the primary one, why would someone like him even look twice at you? But as time went on, you started to notice it more and more. It really hit you when, one day, you were touching up Nico’s make-up and she casually joked that he seemed to perk up more when you were around. 
“He smiles more,” she’d said, “it’s almost like he’s had an extra strong cup of coffee.”
“Mind you,” Gabriel had chimed in, “he doesn’t really need it.”
You all laughed. Pedro’s hyperactivity was well known. Which made his current silence a bit odd. 
He’s nervous, you thought.
He cleared his throat again, bringing you back to the present. You figured that you might as well strike up some kind of conversation. Funnily enough, he had the same thought.
“So…” you both began at the same time. Then you stopped. You looked at him and you both burst into laughter.
“You go ahead,” you said.
He shook his head. “Nah, you go.”
“Gentlemen first,” you commented with a smirk.
He laughed at that, then asked, “What are you listening to?”
“Huh?” you touched the earbud you had in your ear that was playing a song softly. “Oh, just some music to wake me up.”
He raised his eyebrows and gestured with his hand for you to explain more. 
“Prince,” you said simply, “Raspberry Beret.”
He smiled wide at that. “Love that song.”
“Really?”
He nodded.
“Hmm, okay,” you said, and put the brush and powder you had in your hand down on the table behind you. 
You went over to your bag and dug around in it.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“Normally,” you began, “I just keep my earbuds in, because I know not everyone likes the same music I do… aha,” you said triumphantly as you pulled out your mini bluetooth speaker, “but when I’m  alone, I use this.”
You turned on the speaker and set it on the table, then connected your phone. Soon the beat began and you both sang along.  “I was working part-time in a five and dime, my boss was Mr. McGee…”
You picked up your brush again and started back on his make-up, your head bopping along to the song.
After that, it seemed like the ice had been broken. He started asking you more questions: where you from, how long you had been doing make-up, favorite color, etc. You answered all of them with ease, and asked him more questions in return.
Before you knew it, you were finished. “All right, all done,” you announced. 
“That was quick,” he said. In truth, you had taken a little bit longer than you normally would have, you just wanted to spend a bit more time with him. “Um, I guess I better get going…”
“Yeah, yeah, sure,” you said, as you put away the brushes and other things. You both were shy again.
“I’ll, um, I’ll see you out there,” he said, standing and stretching.
You turned and looked up at him, into his eyes. That made him blush. You smiled and you felt your own cheeks grow warm. “Yeah, of course.”
After that, he was more comfortable around you. From time to time the both of you could be found, earbuds in, heads bobbing along to some song or another or dancing around to music blasting from your portable bluetooth speaker. It was obvious to everyone who spent five minutes around the two of you that you both liked each other; there were inside jokes, laughter, and shared looks between you two, but the weeks went by and nothing more happened. 
Bella and Nico were frustrated with this. How was it possible that the most outgoing person they knew, couldn’t even bring himself to ask you out, when it was obvious that he wanted to?
Bella approached him again. “All I’m saying is you need to…” 
“No.”
“You don’t even know what I was gonna say,” Bella argued.
“You were gonna say I need to ask her out,” Pedro responded.
“Well you do,” Nico said.
“She won’t say yes.”
“You don’t know that,” they both said at the same time. 
“All we’re saying is it won’t hurt to ask,” Bella said.
“It would hurt if she said no,” he pointed out.
“Which she won’t do,” Nico added, rolling her eyes.
“How do you…?”
“How do we know? By the way she looks at you,” Bella sighed
“She doesn’t…”
“Yeah, she does, she looks at you the same way you look at her.” 
Pedro sighed and shook his head. 
"What’s the problem?” Bella asked. “There’s something else isn’t there?”
He looked around, making sure they were alone, before confessing the one thing that was holding him back. “I-I’m too old,” he said quietly.
Bella and Nico exchanged glances, then started giggling. 
“It’s not funny.”
“No, but it is,” Bella said, “because it’s bullshit. If she didn’t like you she wouldn’t spend nearly as much time around you as she does, she wouldn’t talk to you as much as she does, none of it. I’m sure your age means nothing to her.”
“Exactly,” Nico agreed, nodding, then looking around she spotted you talking to someone. “So, what you’re gonna do is go over there and ask her out, and,” she said ignoring Pedro’s grunt of protest, “she’s gonna say yes, and you’re gonna take her somewhere nice.”
Pedro stared at you, as you talked and laughed with one of the other crew members, his nerves getting the best of him again. He wanted to go over to you, but his feet felt rooted to the spot. He looked at Bella and Nico and shook his head. He couldn’t do it. He looked back over at you, the conversation you were having had come to an end, and you were standing there, going through one of your bags, looking for something. 
At that moment, you looked up and around, spotting him. You smiled and he did the same, swallowing around the lump grown in his throat. He felt Bella push him forward slightly and sighed. They weren’t going to let this go until he did something, he knew. So, he squared his shoulders and walked over to you, smiling and blushing, but determined.
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parvulous-writings · 8 days
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Could I request headcanons for Wyll, Rolan, and Zevlor react to being stuck in close proximity with gn crush?
Warnings: None!
Notes: These may be a little short/uneven, but these were so cute to write!! Anon, you've become such a prominent asker, that I'd love to give you a nickname of some sort, if you're comfortable with that! <3  My requests are currently open! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!
Wyll
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Wyll is a gentleman about the whole situation - or at least he tries to be. He gives you as much space as he is able to, even though he's squishing himself into a corner, he's more than happy to do that so that you're comfortable.
He tries to keep up conversation with you, to try and distract from the somewhat uncomfortable situation; mostly mundane questions, like 'What's your favourite...' or 'Have you ever...' It's also partly to distract you from the fact that his cheeks are burning hotter than the hells. Who'd have thought it'd be easy to fluster the Blade of Frontiers, even if it were only slightly, by being so near to him?
He cannot take his eyes off of you. Not even for a moment. He tries, at first, but finds it astronomically difficult, and eventually just gives in. He loves gazing at you - your presence brings him such peace, even in such a compromising position such as this.
Once the two of you are found/make your way out of the confined space, Wyll apologises - even though it was not his fault - and offers to make it up to you at some point, by however you see fit.
Rolan
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Rolan is entirely speechless. He cannot find the words to say anything to you, not even a half-handed snappy quip. His eyes rarely meet yours, and are rather more often aimed off to the side, or somewhere above your heads. It's... Quite awkward.
You try anything to break the silence between the two of you; "Can you move your leg, please, Rolan?" Followed by a quiet shuffle as Rolan tries to move a little bit further from you but still remain comfortable. It is of little use on either front, but he tries. Any question of "how are you feeling?" Or "You okay?" is met with either complete silence, or a quiet grunt of acknowledgement.
Rolan doesn't know what to do, he's never been in a situation like this before - much less a situation where he can't find the words to express himself. His heart is pounding against his ribcage, harder than he can recall it ever being in his life. He's entirely tense, and he has no idea what to do; his normal confident facade has completely crumbled away, leaving little besides anxiety, and a slightly fuzzy feeling in the pit of his stomach whenever you speak.
The first chance he gets after the pair of you can separate, he all but disappears from view - for several hours. You had wanted to talk to him about it, but couldn't find him anywhere. Eventually you do find him, but as soon as you bring up the situation, he turns his gaze from you; "I... Would rather not dwell on the situation... If it's all the same to you." He's just too flustered still to be able to process any of it.
Zevlor
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Zevlor is constantly asking how you're feeling. "Are you sure you're well?" followed a few minutes later with, "Is there anything you need? ... Yes, I am aware I can't go and get anything, but I'm sure you understand the sentiment..."
He constantly asks you if you're alright, comfortable, etc. Neither of you know how long you're going to be stuck in this situation, so is completely understanding of the constant need to shuffle to keep your limbs from going dead. This being said, he'll always tell you if he's going to try and move himself, just so that he can try not to kick you, and you can brace yourself just in case of this outcome.
He tells you of his time in Elturel before it's descent into Avernus, his time as a Hellrider, all sorts. He finds it very easy to share things with you, since he's so sweet on you - it would usually take some probing for anyone to get that kind of information out of him. But, since he would like to establish more of a relationship with you, he's willing to part with some of it.
Once the two of you are out in the open again, Zevlor double checks that you're okay. "I would have hoped to have had some of those conversations in a more... Traditional way. But, I suppose, one cannot deny the deft hands of fate, hm?"
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whorekneecentral · 10 months
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sd! toto? this man is the biggest sugar daddy material hands down, like a billionaire. maybe the reader is student at Harvard (i know this type of prompt has been used many times but I can’t think of anything else 😭) she’s studying to be a professor and can’t seem to be paying her student loans. And her friend invited her over to the paddock for the weekend to get her mind off of her studies and relax, where she then meets Toto and there’s a attraction which then leads to him being her secret sugar daddy?
-jenson anon ❤️
jenson anon you are so sexy for this idea ily bae <3333
you thought you knew him from somewhere; your friend ran in all the high end, luxury circles because of who her parents were and when she introduced you to the team principal of mercedes; you knew you had seen him before.
he remembered you before you remembered him - the two of you had met when he did a lecture at harvard. you were telling him that you were getting your PhD so become a professor and he said if you ever changed your mind, you could come work for them.
you never bothered with his comment, you figured you'd never see him again; you had been too busy to even think about that. between school and working to be able to pay for school, you barely had time to breathe.
the only reason you were there is cause your friend's parents paid for everything.
the afternoon goes by, everyone gets busy and your friend eventually disappears when she sees someone she knows.
you were sat in merc hospitality, having a coffee when someone asked if they could sit with you. you look over and see toto.
you tell him go ahead and you two make small talk. he asks how the PhD is going, you tell him it's slowly killing you.
"what do you mean?" the man pushes his glasses up a bit, looking at you.
you shrug, "I might die before I pay back the loans I have." you joked, not really tho.
toto shook his head, "so stupid that you need loans to go to school, to work just to pay back the loans."
"tell me about it." you sighed, spinning the cup around on the table. it goes quiet for a bit before he speaks. "let me pay for it."
you look at him like he's insane, "no, absolutely not. you're very kind for offering but I cannot let you do that."
"why not? it's a good use of my money."
"I wouldn't be able to pay you back, it would kill me to just take the money from you."
toto nods, telling you he understood and the conversation drops.
"we can work something out," he starts and you cut him off, "I can't afford that-"
"no, not like that. uh, so I was thinking more along the lines of you just giving me some company."
you get what he meant and you can't help but laugh. "I'm not looking to be a sugar baby."
"no of course not," he shook his head, "just two friends who benefit from each other?"
"well when you put it like that." you nod, smiling.
toto asked you to join him for the races over your summer break, in exchange he paid for your next two semesters.
you got to travel the world and he got the company he wanted, while your school was paid for.
it was nice, you got to explore on the days you didn't join him on track. he left a card with you which you used for emergencies but he left it with you incase you wanted to shop or stop to eat somewhere. you two had dinner together almost every night, unless he was working late.
he spoiled you with lavish clothing and jewellery to match; you told him it was too much and he said you needed to fit in with the crowd so he's just making sure you don't stick out.
you both knew he just liked to spoil you, that was the whole thing.
the break in the race schedule came up, the drivers off to rest for the summer. toto asked if you'd like to join him in England, spend a few weeks with him relaxing.
you said okay; the 2 of you spent 2 of the 4 weeks in England, resting and getting to know each other properly- and by that I mean in bed.
one too many glasses of wine turned into flirting, into touches and stolen glances and eventually you two ended up going at it right on the deck.
the next 2 weeks were on an island, a little villa all to yourselves, rolling around in bed all morning, waking up to the sun and your lover kissing on you.
you returned to the paddock, toto a little more touchy than before but no one seemed to say anything even tho they noticed the change in the two of you.
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jsluvtzu · 6 months
Note
Hiaaaaaa, I love your first Sana fic, she asked me if you can make a sub!gip!mina and dom!reader fic.
Thank you for your time!
the party isn’t over
sub!g!p mina x dom!reader
summary: she’ll do whatever it takes to get what she wants
cw: smut, edging, thigh fucking, degradation, jealousy, men dni
wc: 1.3k
a/n: thank you for the request, anon! i’m glad you enjoyed it :) this was sorta rushed so i do apologize 😭
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it was a busy night for you as you were responsible for getting the shareholders to agree to your boss's new business branding contract. the party was filled with six-figure company owners, investers, and tech developers. any rich person you can think of was there that night. 
the music was loud, and the warm, ambient lighting made your company building look more inviting than it did during work hours. you made your rounds around the room talking to each person, charismatically hypnotizing them into eventually signing the contract. of course your girlfriend, mina, was clinging to your arm the whole time. you had a glass of champagne in your right hand, sipping it every once in a while, with mina to your left side, desperate for a taste of your attention.
you had been so busy trying to make your boss happy, you paid no mind to the fact that you were wearing the perfume mina loved on you, and the tight, figure-fitting dress that mina loved, oh, and how could you forget about the black lace panties mina knew you were wearing when she saw you bend over to lace your heels earlier? 
everything about you was driving mina absolutely crazy that night, she couldn't help but feel the bulge under her skirt grow just from a simple look at you. just hearing you talk business and using big finance words that she knew nothing about was so attractive to her. she wanted nothing more than for you to just fuck her right there while you whisper in her ear with that same sultry voice of yours.
mina was growing restless by the minute. the uncomfortable throbbing between her legs growing increasingly unbearable the more she stayed by you. but of course, you were too wrapped up in your money making mindset to notice your girlfriend's neediness. 
"y/n.. i don't feel good, let's just go home please." mina whined in your ear and hugged your arm tighter. "i can't leave yet mina, i still have to talk to a couple more people. can you hang on for another hour?" you were slightly concerned about her, but even more exhausted from putting on a fake persona with those stuck up assholes. mina shook her head and gave you a small pout while she grabbed your hand and moved it down to her crotch, letting you feel exactly where she wasn't feeling good. "need you..", that was the moment you realized what you were doing to your poor needy girlfriend. you were the reason she was feeling so uncomfortable. "mina, i'm working. i'll make it up to you when we get home yeah?" you moved your hand out of her grip, kissing her on her forehead and leaving to go talk to yet another rich snob. 
mina watched as you walked away nonchalantly, basically seething with anger and sexual frustration. she smiled to herself when she thought of the perfect plan to get your guaranteed attention. she confidently walked over to a random girl in the corner across from where you were standing, making sure she was in your line of sight. 
you saw mina in your peripheral and shot quick glances at her while also maintaining eye contact with the ceo in front of you. you saw how she laughed loudly at that girl's jokes, grazing her arm with light touches. mina was way closer than she needed to be to her, and then it clicked. she was trying to make you jealous. you scoffed as you took a sip of your drink, staring daggers at mina blatantly eye fucking that girl in front of you. eventually you had enough of her antics, excusing yourself from the conversation and speed walking over to your girlfriend, grabbing her arm with force. "so sorry to bother your extremely interesting conversation, but can i just steal my girifriend away for a bit?" you asked with the biggest, fakest smile on your face, not really giving the girl a chance to answer. 
your grip on mina's arm was enough to cut off circulation, making her slightly whimper. you dragged mina all the way to an empty office a few doors down from the lounge, shoving her through the door and slamming it closed with her against it. "you're such a needy fucking slut that you couldn't even let me do my job for five minutes without having to take care of you first huh?" your breathing was heavy and you enunciated your words with a squeeze to mina's throat. mina whined at your degrading words, feeling like she could burst at any moment. 
you ran your hand over her groin, rubbing gently and observing how her eyes struggled to stay open. "y/n- please. need you to fuck me." you hummed at her pleas for your touch, enjoying how desperate she was for you. "you're gonna make me fuck you right here? in this very public office? i bet you're too fucking horny right now to even care if we got caught right baby?"
sliding your hand under mina's skirt, you pulled her cock out of her pink panties, moving your hand down her length and back up to the tip, teasing it with your thumb. "fuck y/n, f-feels good" she bit back her moans and dropped her head down. you spread her precum around her whole cock, feeling it twitch in your hands. "aw, is my poor baby gonna cum just like this? so needy and dumb." mina ground herself by gripping the hand you had on her hip, unable to contain the loud moan she let out. "you can't be too loud love, you don't wanna be seen like this do you? getting handfucked in public. how humiliating." you shushed her with a deep, hungry kiss, moving down her jaw to her neck, holding back the urge to mark her up just yet.
"should i mark you right where everyone can see? hmm? let everybody here see how much of a pathetic slut you are?" you whispered right in mina's ear and felt her knees get weak against you. she whined and shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut when she felt your pumps getting faster. mina gripped your exposed shoulders and dug her nails into them. she was practically only focused on cumming at this point, grinding herself on your hand, relying on your strength to hold her upright. "please, please, y/n, gonna cum, fuck- please" her frantic begs were like music to your ears, but they only encouraged you to give her the opposite of what she wanted. just when you felt her getting close, you stopped your movements and laughed at her confused moans.
"be patient, love. you wanted my attention so i'm giving you all of it now." you kissed her cheek and waited for her to calm down from her denied orgasm. after you decided it was long enough, you adjusted your dress up to expose your thighs and pressed them tightly together, grabbing mina's cock and sliding it between them. chants of your name immediately fell from mina's lips as you watched as her head fall back onto the door behind her. you slowly grinded yourself back and forth on her length, relishing in the intimate skin to skin contact. you could tell mina was close again, already sensitive from her previous stimulation, so you moved your hips faster, gripping mina's throat again, squeezing lightly. "i bet that bitch you were feeling on earlier can't fuck you like this." 
soon after you said that, you felt mina cling onto your hips, clawing at your flesh as she finished and moved you along her cock herself to ride out her high. her moans were stuttered and she could barely form a single word other than your name. you kissed her and laughed at how she was unable to kiss you back. "let's go home." you said smiling, carefully tucking mina's cock back into her panties for her. you slid your dress back down and kissed her one more time on the lips before grabbing her hand and opening the door. you both took the back way out of the building, sneaking into your car. the contract wasn't even that important anyways.
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the-little-ewok · 7 months
Text
Collateral Damage
Poe Dameron x G!N reader
Rating : M
Wordcount : 6800 (ish)
Warnings : Friends to lovers, sort of slow burn I suppose, angst, fluff, reader has a fear of flying, arguing, vague illusions to Poe's torture by the FO, vague mention of parental death (Poe's mom), mentions of panic attacks.
Summary : Poe finds out you are scared to fly, and makes it a personal challenge to fix that. Only spending so much time together, causes some complications.
A/N : there's a few bits here that mention Poe's past as a child which is from Freefall however there are no direct Freefall spoilers contained, and it isn't necessary to have read it to enjoy this.
To the anon that requested an angst to fluff Poe fic...I hope you enjoy!
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~
"Poe, please don't look at me like that!" You beg.
"Like what?" Poe gives you a genuinely confused look, as though he hasn't been staring at you for the past ten minutes like you're a particularly complex puzzle he needs to work out.
"Like there's something wrong with me," you sigh, twisting the mug of tea nervously in your hands.
"I never said that! But seriously? You're scared? Of flying? This is a joke right?"
"I just think if we were made to fly we'd have wings is all." You shrug, trying to be nonchalant as you sip your drink, your fingers pressing hard into the china as you try to ignore his shock. You don't look up but you can feel his eyes burning into you.
"How did I not know this? How have you hidden it from me of all people! I'm equally impressed and offended." You suspect by his tone he's more offended than impressed, but it was never truly your intention to hide it from him. The secret just sort of… happened.
When you were children you barely knew Poe, not until after he returned to Yavin, his eyes a little darker than they had been before, his steps a little more calculated, though no less bold. When you started helping Kes out around the little farm he bought, you had gotten to know Poe a lot better. Barely tolerating him at first, before you fell into an close friendship. It had been easy enough to deny his requests to go flying with him in the early days, especially given the amount of trouble he got into.
Then when you were older Poe seemed to flit in and out of your life. Between the academy, the navy, and now the resistance, sometimes it seemed like he was never around.
But he always reappeared eventually. He came back to Yavin sometimes for days, sometimes for weeks. He used your back garden like his personal shipping yard, but you never had the heart to tell him off about it, despite the fact you had smashed more than your fair share of crockery in shock at the sudden noise of a roaring engine coming down on your house.
Everytime he asked if you wanted to go flying you found some excuse not to, sometimes elaborate ones you aren't even sure Poe believed. You assume perhaps he thought you were avoiding spending time alone with him, which was in part true some of the time.
You could have told him the truth, but the way he lit up when he talked about flying — the freedom of it, the adventure of it — had always made the words dry in your mouth. He couldn't possibly understand, and you knew he would react, well, exactly as he had.
"I didn't! You never asked, and it never came up in conversation. It shouldn't have tonight. It's irrelevant. I don't need to fly," you shrug stubbornly, wanting to get away from the topic if only to stop the quizzical gaze he's fixed you with since it came up.
"But-but there's a whole galaxy you're missing out on!" He splutters, still wide eyed with shock. "You can't tell me you want to spend the rest of your life on Yavin."
"I like Yavin!"
Poe gives a huff of disbelief at you, folding his arms.
"Liar."
"You know Poe, not all of us have the need to fly out into the night and get blown to pieces like you," you sigh, rubbing a hand over your eyes, frustrated at his reaction. "Anyways it's late. I should go."
Getting up you put your mug in the sink and grab your jacket, intent on leaving and finding some way to avoid this topic for the next however many years, probably forever.
"Hey, hey, don't go. I'm sorry, okay?" Poe begs getting up and taking a gentle grip of your arm to prevent you moving. You ignore the fire that ignites your skin where his fingers are wrapped loosely around your arm.
"Tell me what scares you? About flying I mean? Let me try and understand," he pleads.
Taking a breath you sigh. How could you explain it to someone who spent their whole life up there? How could you explain it to someone who lived and breathed the freedom of the flight?
"Pilots die, all the time. Things go wrong, fights, pirates, technical failures…" you trail off with a wave of your hand, freeing your arm from his gentle grip, not used to his touch. "I just…can't stand the thought of dying alone out there in the cold. It's hard enough worrying about that happening to you."
"You sound like my dad," Poe sighs quietly. "He didn't want me flying either. Not after my mom."
Reaching back out you squeeze his hand briefly, knowing that while the relationship between Poe and Kes had somewhat mended over the years, some cracks ran too deep to ever be fully healed.
"You know, Kes never shuts up about you flying. Always talking about what a good pilot you are and how your mom would be so proud of you, how you fly just like her. I swear it's all I heard for weeks the last time you were here."
Poe falls quiet for a long moment, deep in thought, a frown etched deep into his brow.
"He's proud of you, Poe. I know he struggles to say it sometimes, but he is," you offer gently.
Poe waves a hand nonchalantly, as though it doesn't bother him, but you know it does.
"Well you know my dad likes to keep things to himself, but apparently not from you," he eyes you somewhat suspiciously. "He likes you, you know. He told me once I should marry you. Imagine that, us, married."
He lets out a snort of a laugh as he shakes his head at the thought. You want to make a joke about it, you want to laugh it off and tell him you'd never agree to it even if he asked, but the spark of feelings you've so carefully navigated all these years flared to life suddenly and in full force at his words.
There's always been something between you, something a little more than friendship, something you both know can't be. Something both of you have avoided talking about for a long time now.
Perhaps when you were younger maybe you could have figured something out, but Poe was hardly ever around and now, well now your worlds were too far apart. Yours here on the ground, his far off in the stars. It was better not to prod too hard at open wounds, but Poe's laughter at the thought of you together, still cuts deeply.
Something must flicker across your expression because his amusement dies and Poe gives you a half smile.
"It's just, you know, you're seeing someone. Aren't you?"
"It didn't work out." You shrug as though you don't care. The truth was it never worked out, because you would always be in love with someone else. How were you supposed to give your heart away when at any given moment the one that makes it beat could drop from the sky without warning?
"Oh," he sounds genuinely sad which only drives the knife further in. You drop your eyes from his, pulling at a loose thread on your jacket as he continues. "I'm sorry. You'll meet someone else though! Although maybe…. Off this planet?"
You sigh and roll your eyes. Really you shouldn't be surprised that he found a way to spin the topic right back to your issues with flying, which you suppose was better than your love life so at least there was that.
"Oh come on. You can't be scared if you haven't tried it! Lemmie take you!" Poe sounds like an excited child on life day. Clearly the thought of conquering your fear appealed to him.
"Absolutely not! I've seen the way you fly!"
"Did you not just say even my dad thinks I'm good at flying? And besides," he leans on the counter, a shit eating grin plastering his face, "didn't you hear I'm the best pilot in the resistance?"
You roll your eyes at his cocky statement.
"Poe, I've heard a great deal of things about you over the years, not all of them I can believe and most of them I've had to defend your good name against!"
He raises an eyebrow and tilts his head like a curious loth cat.
"Like what?"
You quickly go through the ment rollerdex of things you've heard, deciding to pick out your favourite.
"Like… the time you apparently almost married a Hutt."
Poe opens his mouth and then closes it again, suddenly becoming very interested in a tin of tea on the side. He picks it up, rolling it between his palms, purposely not looking at you.
"Well, really that wasn't even my fault," he mumbles eventually, realising you aren't going to fill the expectant silence.
He can't seriously have done that? The ridiculous story can't possibly be the truth?
"You have to be kidding me! I got into the biggest argument that you wouldn't be so stupid to get into something with them. Do I even want to know the real story?"
You had vehemently defended your friend, arguing well into the night that while yes, Poe was reckless, and yes sometimes he spoke without thinking, and yes sometimes trouble found him, you were still absolutely sure the story was completely untrue. You suppose you have a few apologies to make now.
"It's not like I intended to agree to the marriage! It just sort of… happened."
You stare at him, open mouthed waiting for the rest of the story, knowing he won't be able to resist defending himself. But instead of launching into a lengthy explanation he grins, setting the tea down slowly and fixing you with an expression you are all too familiar with. The one he uses when he knows he's about to get something he wants.
"Trade. I'll fly you somewhere. Then I'll tell you."
And there it was. He knew you wanted to know the truth, unable to resist a good story about the far off places he visited and troubles he got into. You should have predicted the bastard would use that against you.
You fold your arms.
"No."
"I'll just fly you to the other side of Yavin? Short trip, in and out."
"No!"
Poe sighs dramatically, pushing himself up off the counter.
"Fine. You drive a hard bargain. I'll tell you the whole story if you let me show you around my ship and tell you how unscary it is to fly. Strictly no piloting."
"Please agree so you can both shut up. It's after midnight, and the noise you two make will bring the first order down on our heads without them even looking!" Kes Dameron booms from the hallway, making both of you jump.
"Sorry dad!" Poe yells while he gives you a grin of victory.
"Sorry Kes! I'm leaving now." With a sigh of resignation you slip on your jacket. "Fine. No flying."
"No flying," Poe agrees with a nod, holding out his hand and wriggling his fingers invitingly. You hesitate to take it, but he slides his hand into yours anyway, squeezing your fingers. "I'll walk you home."
You try not to think about how right it feels to have your hand in his.
~
"Poe, Poe," you repeat a little louder as he continues rambling away, pointing to the different parts of his X-Wing, a misty look in his eyes. You're sure you lost him a good while ago, and he hasn't stopped talking long enough for you to explain you have no idea what he's talking about.
"You have to put your hand up to ask a question when I'm teaching," he chides you teasingly. Rolling your eyes you put your hand up, glaring at him when he grins silently at you for a long drawn out moment. Just as your patience breaks, opening your mouth to ask anyway, he cuts in first.
"You have a question?"
"Several," you respond dryly. "Firstly, can you please slow down? I've no idea what you've been talking about for the last twenty minutes. Secondly, I'm pretty sure you've told me about everything that can go wrong and now I want to be near this thing even less. Thirdly -"
"This thing? This thing?" He interupts, his eyes going wide with shock. "This thing is a T-70 X-wing. I've done a lot of work on this thing!"
"I apologise I insulted your ship," you laugh, watching his brows pull together in an annoyed frown. Maker, Flyboys! As cute as he was you couldn't really expect any other reaction.
"Don't apologise to me. Apologise to her!" He points at his ship before he folds his arms stubbornly, as though he's actually serious. You pause for a moment, realising he is serious.
"Thirdly, I don't think this is helping and I'm sure you have better things to be doing," You continue, ignoring his sulk. Poe drops his arms, his expression softening.
"It is helping," he insists. "If you know what can go wrong then you know how to fix it, or how to account for it at the least. Then that part isn't so scary anymore. I promise."
"It doesn't feel like it's helping," you mumble, wrapping your arms around your chest, the low hum of anxiety vibrating under your ribs. "I'm sorry. I'm not being ungrateful. It's very nice of you to do this."
"You don't think I can do it," he grins and you roll your eyes at him for what feels like the thousandth time since he's been back.
"I'm not a challenge," you remind him with a glare.
"You kinda are though," he grins. Trust Poe to see this as some sort of game he can win. "Come on. You can trust me. I know about these things. How'd you think I survived this long?"
"Sheer dumb luck?"
Poe laughs, a deep elated noise that brings a smile to your lips and makes your heart ache with affection. It seems so rare these days that he truly laughs like that, and when he does, here with you, it only makes his inevitable absence harder to swallow.
"Probably a bit of that too," he admits with a shrug. "Okay, new plan."
He plonks himself down on the ground, patting the space in front of him for you. When you're settled opposite him he takes both your hands in his. When you try to pull away, the touch giving a jolt in your chest, he grips your fingers tighter, forcing you to stay with him. It's an all too familiar dance now. You push him away, and he only proceeds to try and hold you closer. When he's here you wish he wouldn't, but when he's gone, you ache for his easy familiarity.
He gives you a genuine open look, and your heart aches a little that he's truly trying to help when you feel so beyond helping.
"What do you think about when you get scared? When you think about being up there. What is it that worries you so much?"
"I guess dying alone?" You suppress a shudder at the thought of floating out there in the darkness, no one to hear you scream for help.
The pilot doesn't even miss a beat before he answers quickly.
"Okay, I'd be with you so that's not a problem. We would die together."
You glare at him, unamused. Ignoring your vehement stare he gestures for you to continue.
"Fine. Being shot out of the sky. Lot of time to think about dying while you're plummeting to the ground."
He gives you a grin, "We both know that's not an issue because I'm a great pilot, so no matter where we are I promise you I'll land safely, all parts intact, especially all the bits I like," he winks and you desperately try to ignore the flare of heat on your skin. "I've done it so many times I could do it in my sleep! Next problem."
"Kidnapped by pirates." You shoot quickly.
"They'll give you back after half an hour." Poe snorts with laughter when you reach out and slap his arm hard.
"Asshole," you grumble, fighting back a smile.
He grins at you, clearly enjoying himself at your expense and while you should mind his teasing, you find it hard to care, not when his eyes are lit up with genuine joy.
"You are really not helping," you laugh eventually, shaking your head. "I'm a lost cause."
"Not entirely, just mostly. I mean none of these are good reasons to be scared," Poe smiles and you have to admit it chafes you a little that he still doesn't seem to understand.
"I never said my fear was rational."
"It's not entirely irrational either," Poe acknowledges with a shrug, finally allowing you to pull your hands out of his while he taps his chin in thought. You curl your fingers into your palms, willing away the memory of his touch.
"What you need is a distraction!" Poe proclaims brightly. For a shocked moment you think he's talking about a distraction from him, which is entirely exactly what you need. But he keeps talking and you realise it's nothing like that, although he inadvertently makes you distracted anyway, from flying at least.
"Yeah, something to take your mind off getting up there."
You shake your head, knowing it won't work. Suddenly this whole thing seems like a bad idea. Poe wasn't one to give up, and yet over the years you've tried just about everything to get over your fear. A weariness starts to creep in, encouraging you to make your excuses and leave.
"I doubt anything would distract me that much. Anyway, I think we should do something else. Flying isn't that important." You try, knowing it's hopeless now you've encouraged him this much.
"What if I flew naked?" He grins, wiggling his eyebrows. His constant blatant flirting is starting to take a toll, and you can't muster even a smile this time. He knows, yet he does it anyway. It's infuriating sometimes, purposely poking and prodding when you're just trying to get by without spilling your heart all over the grass.
"Coming from the person who laughed at the notion of us being married, I don't see how you think I'd care about that." You don't quite mean to bite it out the way you do, but Poe ignores your attitude and leans back on his arms, gazing at you.
"Yeah, because we'd argue all day long about everything. I'd be messy, and you'd want a tidy house, we would fight over what to have for dinner, because you won't believe I'm the better cook, I'd want to paint the walls blue, but you'd want green. You'd want to live here and I wouldn't." He waves his hand, indicating that there would be a longer list of issues if he continued. "The thought of us being married is funny because it would be chaotic, not because I don't love you."
The words hit you like a shot, and judging by the look of fear on the pilot's face he probably hadn't thought them through before they left his mouth.
"Guess the cats out of the bag now. Well, suppose it was never really fully in the bag anyway," he mumbles, running a hand through his messy curls, before he stares up at the sky. "I mean, I know we've never….I know we've never gone down that road, but you know I've always had a soft spot for you."
You knew. Of course you knew. You both held an affection for each other, but you also know it wasn't meant to be. Maker knows you've spent your life trying to get over him, and Poe… well he never breathed a word about his feelings in the matter. You assumed he had moved on some time ago. If his list of conquests was anywhere half true, he moved on quite well.
You avoid his gaze, looking down at the dirt. "Love is a lot different than a soft spot. Seems funny you never mentioned that before."
Poe swallows, sitting back up properly and reaching to take your hands, you snatch them back before he has a chance, a swell of anger starting in your chest. There is no need for him to tell you this. You don't want him to tell you this. It won't make any difference to say it out loud.
"I knew I couldn't stay so what was the point? You've said yourself how much you love Yavin. Who was I to ask you to give it all up? You deserve someone who could be there for you, where you wanted to be. You still deserve someone like that."
"So why bring it up when you know it isn't you?" You snap angrily, getting to your feet, panic pulsing through your veins. While you've had this conversation a hundred times in your head, in reality you have no idea how to react. Suddenly the open wound becomes a sinkhole, and every wall you've placed around your feelings starts to crumble in. Your chest constricts with panic. He can't do this now. Not after all this time. You won't be able to rebuild what he's torn down. This will burn your friendship to the ground.
"Because I'm selfish," the pilot admits, jumping up and following you as you storm across the garden towards the house, the flaring pain in your chest getting worse with each word that leaves his mouth. You won't talk about this. You can't talk about this.
"Yes, you are! You blaze in and out of my life and everytime I think I might have a chance to mend myself, you come tearing down from the sky. Maybe it is about time to actually have this conversation so we can both move on!" You spin on your heel to face him, stepping back when he reaches for you again.
If he touches you now you won't ever be able to let him go, he'll find a way to calm you down and you don't want to be calm. You want to be angry. You want to yell, scream, and let out every feeling you've kept locked inside. You want him to feel even a small spark of what he's done to you for years. You need to be angry.
"Why can't we just be together now?" He interrupts your rant.
"What's the point, Poe? You know I won't leave, I can't leave. And you can't stay. It won't work and we both know it."
"We don't know that because we haven't tried!" He implores passionately. "You can come with me! The resistance would be lucky to have you. If you just try! If you just let me show you. I promise it's not so scary, and then we can go anywhere we like!"
"I can't do it, Poe. I just can't and there's no point trying to make you of all people understand that."
You turn to leave but this time he's quicker than you, reaching out and catching hold of your wrist.
"So this is how it ends is it? We dance around this for years and then we just do what? Give up?" The pain lacing his voice is enough to make your lip tremble as you bite back the tears.
"You're right. We've danced around this for years because we both know it isn't going to work! Why now? Why after all this time decide to drag all this up now?"
"Because we are in the middle of a war. Because I don't know what's going to happen to me tomorrow, or the next day, or the next. Because I might not be here to tell you this, and for some reason it kills me that I might be gone and you would never know that I loved you. I've waited years for you to find someone who makes you happy, someone who gives you everything I can't, but everytime I come here I know it hurts you because it hasn't happened. And I need you to know that someone, that I, love you. I don't think I can just walk away this time." He sounds resigned and it crumbles away every last brick you had to protect yourself. Poe doesn't think he's going to survive this war. In the end, he knows he's going to leave you anyway.
It makes you angry to hear him talk that way. Poe was the upbeat one. Poe was the one who always figured a way out. He doesn’t just accept the inevitable. And you don't need him concerned about you either.
"Well you should just walk away, because I don't need your pity!" You yell, feeling the hot tears escaping your eyes.
"That's not what it is!" Poe takes a breath, clearly trying to calm himself and de-escalate the situation. "I'm just trying to be honest with you for once. I can't just leave and say nothing this time."
"You mean like you have every time you disappear into the sky for months on end?" You laugh bitterly.
The pilot swallows, his eyes searching yours, pleadingly, begging you to understand why now, but the anger still swells in your chest.
"I've always come back to you. Every time I can. For Makers sake do you think I'd be here so often if you weren't?"
When you say nothing Poe frowns, reading your expression all too clearly.
"You won't even consider coming with me? You won't even try?"
You wrap your arms around your waist, holding yourself together as you shake your head.
"I can't. We can't and you know it. I…can't leave. I can't leave," you repeat in a whisper, shaking your head, the tears flowing fast down your cheeks.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry," Poe apologies softly, reaching out to take your arms, drawing you close to him. You try to fight it, pulling your body away, but Poe ignores you, holding you tight against him until you stop fighting, allowing him to hug you tightly.
"I know you can't leave," he admits, letting you go to cup your cheek, his palm warm against your cooled skin, his thumb sweeping away tears. "You don't have to, okay? Just say the word. Say the word and I'll be here, with you. I'll stay right here so we can try. Tell me that's what you want. Tell me you feel the same and I'll do it."
You know what he's offering, and you know he can't fulfil it. He's speaking without thinking it through, in desperation, trying to fix things, to fix the damage his words have done.
You wish you could accept it, but the thought of Poe grounded, here, a place he fought so hard to escape, causes an ache in your chest. You know it can't be that way.
Maybe he would give it all up for you, but it would never be enough. Not for him. Eventually the cracks would form, and he'd be gone, and leave you so much more broken than you already were.
"Tell me you feel the same," he whispers, leaning into you.
"Don't do this," you beg softly, bring your hands up to rest on his arms to push him away. You can't seem to make your body follow through with the action.
"Then stop me," Poe challenges, his hand sliding around the back of your neck. He's so close you can feel his breath against your lips, the warmth of his body against yours.
Maker, he was going to break your heart. He won't stay, he can't stay. You won't make him do that, not for you. But you're sick of fighting it, sick of trying to pretend. He's here, with you, wanting you. Just this once, once can't hurt.
The screeching beep of his comms stops you both, the sudden insistent noise cutting through the tension and your own clouded thoughts, making you step away from him quickly. Poe lets you go, his expression pained, though he doesn't move to answer the incoming call.
Swallowing hard you gesture to his pocket, refusing to meet his gaze, fearful of what you might find there.
"You should get that."
"Yeah," he nods distractedly, taking a breath and fishing the comm out. He holds it in his hands, glaring at it before his gaze flickers back to you. "Can we talk later?"
You hesitate initially but then nod. Later gave you time to think, to process everything, to try to explain to him why this can't be. Maybe you can salvage your friendship after some time apart.
A tiny voice in your head whispers the vicious truth. It was too late for that.
It's less than an hour before he leaves again, back on urgent business for the resistance. You hadn't opened the door when he came to say goodbye. You hadn't answered when he asked if you wanted him to stay, and you hadn't the strength to smile and see him off this time. He left you with the memory of his muffled voice, promising he will come back, promising he'll figure out a way to make this work, begging you to think, to try.
For once you're grateful he's gone. At least he isn't around to see the damage.
~
The tea Kes Dameron had pressed into your hands has long since gone cold as you stare out at the grass, little shoots growing where previously a star fighter engine had burnt them away, one that so far hadn't returned, and perhaps never would.
There's a sigh behind you, a creak of the porch steps as Kes sits down next to you. The older man had come to help you fix the flickering light in the kitchen, something you'd have once asked Poe how to fix, allowing him to instruct you via comlink, teasing and laughing at your questions and frustrations. But you hadn't spoken to Poe, not in months now, too ashamed and regretful of your behaviour, and too fearful of what speaking with him may bring up.
"He was asking about you again earlier. You can't keep avoiding his comms."
You can feel Kes's eyes on you but you refuse to look up from the dent in the grass. You don't need to ask who he means.
"I'm not. Poe calls at bad times."
Kes makes a disbelieving noise, taking the now cold mug out of your hands and setting it down to the side, making you finally look up.
"It's been a bad time for the past two months. What happened between you?" He frowns at you.
"Nothing." It was the truth. In the end nothing had happened, not really. But the almost of it, the almost hurt worse.
You don't want to talk about Poe. You don't want to think about it. But the next question slips out without you being able to stop it.
"How is he?"
Kes lets out a long breath.
"You know Poe, all smiles and reassurances but he hasn't been the same. Not since…" Kes trails off and your stomach gives a now familiar lurch at the memory of Kes turning up at your door, pale and scared, stuttering out that the First Order had captured his son. As far as you know Poe never told Kes what happened in those days he was gone, but if the stories you heard were even half true, you're surprised he made it out alive.
"He needs someone there," Kes continues eventually.
"He has his squadron." You ignore what Kes is implying. It's a conversation you've had a hundred times over now. It makes your chest ache in a now all too familiar way.
"He needs you, and for all your denial you need him. You can't spend your whole life moping around here. I can make the arrangements to get you there. You just have to say the word."
You had tried in the weeks following his departure to do as he asked, to fly. You had walked to the shipping yard every day, listened to the roar of the engines, talked to the pilots, tried with every fibre to set foot on a ship, any ship, but you couldn't do it.
You had come to accept that you were right to distance yourself. There was no way for you to be together.
"Kes, I can't do that. I… me and Poe… we just aren't… our lives don't fit together." The shame burns in your chest that you couldn't be there for him when he needed someone the most, after his escape from the First Order.
Kes scoffs in an all too familiar way. You wonder if Poe knows where he got that reaction from, if he knows how much like his father he can be.
"Don't fit together? You kids," Kes rolls his eyes. "Nothing in this life is ever easy. If you want something enough you'll find a way through it. Poe's mother," he hesitates, the words catching in his throat. It's rare for Kes to mention Shara, but when he does, it always seems it causes him physical pain. The older man swallows hard before he continues, looking up at the sky.
"She was a free spirit like Poe. But she loved with her whole heart, and so does he. He'd give up the world for you. Don't let your fear hold you back. Don't make the same mistake with him that I did. If you do, you may lose him forever."
Kes was right in a way, your fear was holding you back, it always had. You'd always known Poe's heart was in the stars, and your fear would never let you leave the ground. But Poe had offered to give his world up for you — his stars, his resistance, his freedom. Even if he couldn't stick to it, he was willing to try.
Maybe you could try again. For him.
~
Poe is still in his flight suit, his hair damp and messy, helmet clutched in one hand, talking animatedly with another pilot who you vaguely recognise, who apparently knows you straight away. The pilot nudges Poe — who continues to chatter away obviously— before forcefully spinning him around to point at you.
You can tell you are probably the very last person he's expecting. His eyes go wide and he blinks a few times, as though he's imagining you here. He opens and closes his mouth but whatever words he wanted to get out, don't seem to come, or at least you can't hear them across the yard.
You hadn't told him you were coming. In fact, you still hadn't answered a single one of his comms. It's not that you hadn't wanted to talk to him, but more that you hadn't wanted to disappoint him if, in the end, you couldn't go through with it. Getting here had taken weeks, the trip was rearranged three times after you found yourself unable to get on the ship, and in the end Kes had dragged you in himself and tied you into your seat, reasoning that you needed a push. He was probably right, but you would still be having words when you saw him again.
Raising a hand to Poe you give him a small wave, glad that you landed a good few hours before he returned from whatever mission run he was on this time. It had given you time to clean up and compose yourself, for the shaking to finally stop.
You hesitate in the landing bay, unsure if you should go over or stay put. Poe decides for you because the moment you move a foot forward, he runs to you, skidding to a stop almost toe to toe with you.
"Here-you-h-how?" He stutters out looking you over, as though you might have been kidnapped and dragged here against your will. "Is everything okay? What's happened? My dad-"
"Is fine," you cut him off, recognising his rising panic. "Everything's okay at home. I just thought it was about time I came to see you for once." You give him a nonchalant wave of your hand and a shrug, although your stomach feels full of stones as you take in the new scar across his cheek.
"But… you wouldn't even fly with me!" He sputters out, as though that's the most important point.
You give him an apologetic smile.
"Your dad made me realise I needed to be here," you confess, "We heard about what happened. Your dad was worried about you and how…" you were coping after being tortured.
You don't finish the sentence, swallowing hard.
"I was worried about you." You drop your eyes, instead gazing down at his scuffed boots, still feeling ashamed you hadn't been here sooner.
The pilot sighs, "I'd have come to you if you'd just answered my calls. I just thought you didn't want to see me, and then things here got… a bit crazy."
"I know, but the way we left things. I didn't know…I couldn't…I'm sorry. I tried to come, I really did. I couldn't and… I couldn't tell you…I panicked and everything that happened, and what we said, and what I did, and I wanted to be here for you when you were… but I couldn't. I tried but i couldn't do it, and then -"
"Stop, stop, stop," Poe shushes you, pulling you into his arms and holding you against him tightly, while you try to ramble out an explanation, an apology, and confession all in one, the words tumbling together, desperate to escape.
"Shhh stop," he repeats softly, squeezing you against his chest.
It's more than just a friendly hug, it's more than just a greeting. He holds you tighter than he ever has, one hand curled into the back of your shirt while the other grips his helmet, his face buried in your neck, as though he could hide from the world. Your heart aches for him and everything he's been through as you hold him.
You wait for him to ask you questions, to call you out on how you acted, even to tease you for the whole situation.
Instead, "I'm so proud of you," is all he says.
You bite your lip hard to hold back a flow of tears, gripping his flight suit as he squeezes you breathless.
"I can't believe I wasn't your first," he huffs suddenly against your skin.
"What?" You squeak, heat flushing over your skin at the sudden change in conversation.
"Pilot! I wanted to take you on your first flight," He sighs, pulling away to pout at you in the most adorable of ways. It makes you want to laugh at the look of actual disappointment on his face. You hadn't realised it had meant so much to him, then you remember that he had seen you as a challenge and can't help but wonder if it's purely that someone else won, where he lost. You can tease him about it later and find out.
For now you'll sooth his jealousy just a little.
"Does it help if I tell you your dad had to basically restrain me. I cried, had I don't know how many panic attacks, shut my eyes the whole way, and I absolutely never want to do it again?"
Poe considers this for a minute before he grins, "Kinda does… but not the crying or panic bit. Or the fact you don't want to do it again" he clarifies quickly, before you have a chance to tease him about enjoying your misery. "We can work on changing that last part. And I'm still sad you didn't trust me to take you first."
"Well maybe if you didn't fly that barely legal piece of junk X-Wing I'd have-"
He suddenly leans forward and presses his lips to yours, cutting off any further insults you could throw at his ship, and while his kiss takes you by surprise, it's not unwelcome, and you immediately find yourself sinking into it.
The kiss tastes of desperation, of impatience, of longing buried for too long.
You let out a soft moan as his tongue licks into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You tangle your fingers in his sweat damp curls in the way you've wanted to for so long.
His helmet thumps noisily to the ground when he drops it to wrap both his arms around you this time, pulling your body hard against his. He slides one hand up your back to the back of your neck, holding your mouth to his as he kisses you passionately.
This time it isn't his comms that interrupt you, but the hollering cheer of his squadron.
You pull apart suddenly, your cheeks hot with embarrassment.
Poe gives you an abashed smile, throwing a rude hand gesture to his still cheering comrades, mumbling a soft apology.
"Sorry, I just decided it might be better to skip the talking part this time, since it didn't really work out so well last time."
You can't help but let out a soft laugh, feeling dizzyingly elated at the lingering feel of his lips on yours.
"No, it did not."
Poe grins, drawing you close once more, "now what were you saying about my beautiful custom X-Wing that you are absolutely going to be flying one day?"
You roll your eyes. Flyboys.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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knaccblog · 7 months
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Aziraphale and "I Forgive You"
So after I watched the first season a few times however many years ago, I noticed something, wrote up a bit of a meta about it and then never posted it. I thought that it was either very obvious or very silly and either way, no one needed to see it. But now it's several years and another season later and again, I'm noticing the exact same thing so here it goes- I think the reason Aziraphale keeps saying that he forgives Crowley has overall very little to do with what Crowley has just done right before Aziraphale says it and much more to do with a secret Aziraphale hides deep within himself and has for thousands of years, a truth that he hates to acknowledge and is terrified to speak aloud: he thinks God is wrong to have not Forgiven Crowley.
Get settled in because this is gonna take a bit.
The first time I started noticing this really clearly is the Bandstand Breakup scene. Crowley starts by cussing God literally out- "For the record, great, pustulant, mangled bollocks to the Great blasted Plan." To which Aziraphale says, "May you be forgiven." And yes, Crowley has just sinned and Aziraphale is a stuffy angel but the way Aziraphale says it is like a hope, atleast to my ears. Like he's really wishing that God will see how good Crowley truly is and bring him back to Heaven even though he keeps doing stupid stuff like this
Anyway, Crowley then responds with, "I won't be forgiven. Not ever. Part of a demon's job description. Unforgivable. That's what I am." And Aziraphale responds again with a hopeful sounding, "You were an angel once." At this point, I was almost sure that he's talking about his personal wishes here. It sounds like he's saying, "Come on, Crowley. There's a chance." To which Crowley responds, "That was a long time ago," basically saying it's impossible and shutting that whole bit of the conversation down. And you can just watch Aziraphale's face fall at that, like it kills him for that to be true. 
The next time the topic of forgiveness and Crowley comes up is when Crowley shows up to beg Aziraphale to run away with him one last time. In this conversation, Aziraphale is very adamant that if he talks to the right people, they won't want the apocalypse and they'll stop it. He, of course, thinks this because his most core belief is that God is good and that even if we don't understand how what God is doing is good right now, it will lead to goodness eventually via the Rube Goldburg machine which is time and the universe etc aka God is ineffable. But even Aziraphale can't imagine how the ineffable Rube Goldburg machine could turn an event where everything on earth dies into a good one so therefore, he's certain that God doesn't want the Apocalypse.
Crowley responds to this hope with, "You're so clever. How can someone as clever as you be so stupid?" to which Aziraphale responds, "I forgive you" in a very gentle but sure tone. And now yes, while it is entirely possible that Aziraphale is forgiving Crowley for calling him stupid, I've always felt like that would be a rather weighty response considering how mild an insult it is. It's also possible (and I feel slightly more likely) that Aziraphale is forgiving Crowley for his lack of faith, his inability to believe in the goodness of God anymore. 
And that could definitely be it, but if we think about the way Aziraphale had talked about forgiveness at the Bandstand, the hope and desire that he seemed to put into the idea of forgiveness and Crowley and the fact that Crowley had dismissed it as entirely impossible for him to ever be forgiven, than a third read of Aziraphale's "I forgive you" emerges: one in which Aziraphale is saying, "While God might never forgive you, I do". It's "I might never see you again since you intend to run away to the stars but if this is the last time I ever see you, I want you to know that I think you are deserving of forgiveness. That I see the good in you even if God can't." It's a combination "I love you" and small rebellion against God, because while Aziraphale can't bring himself to give up on Her completely and run away with Crowley (even though a part of him clearly wants to), he is willing to say that She's done this one thing wrong and it's never forgiving Crowley, who Aziraphale can see clearly is more kind and good than any of the angels he knows.
So yeah, that was about where the idea rested at the end of the first season but now we have a bunch of new historical scenes and a new "I forgive you" following a very loaded conversation in which Aziraphale got extremely excited by the idea of Crowley being reinstated as an Angel and I felt like this idea has even more legs than before. 
To me, it's very clear that Aziraphale's pitch for Crowley to come back to Heaven isn't him hoping to "reset" Crowley to how he was before the Fall or him being incapable of loving Crowley as a Demon and instead was him being overjoyed to have this secret truth (Crowley is deserving of God's Forgiveness) that he's been observing for 6000ish years be acknowledged and have a chance to come to fruition. After all, as we saw this season (and honestly last season too but less pronounced), Crowley, current Demon Crowley, not the angel he knew over 6000 years ago, has proven over and over again just how truly good he is to Aziraphale.
For example, in the Job sequence, Crowley does a truly good thing that no Angel (beside Aziraphale) would do or even think that they should do and that is save Job's children. And through the entirety of this bit, Aziraphale basically always believes that he will. There are even two moments where Crowley tries his best to scare Aziraphale away, to play up being the bad guy (so as to better hide the con he's running and protect Aziraphale), but Aziraphale's faith in Crowley's goodness does not falter. At the end of the day, it seems clear that Aziraphale has more faith that Crowley will do the good thing, the correct thing than God. Conveniently for Aziraphale's faith in God though, not understanding how something horrible he hates will eventually lead to goodness in the long run is a foundational principle of said faith so his faith in God remains strong even after everything She and Heaven do to Job. 
But his faith in Crowley doesn't require such a complicated work around. He believes Crowley won't kill children and he is correct. Though unfortunately, this very simplicity leads to a new problem, a problem that we can see eventually solidify in Aziraphale's mind, becoming a running theme of their association and leading to the eventual "I forgive you"s.
Aziraphale can clearly see how kind and good Crowley is, how he does the right thing as best he can, even when he could (and sometimes does) get into immense trouble for it. But for some reason, despite repeated evidence that Crowley is everything that Aziraphale believes Angels are and should be, Crowley continues to be a Demon. And once you realize that Aziraphale has noticed this contradiction and that it most likely haunts him and is a constant challenge to his worldview, it colors a lot of what he says in a new light. Many of what seem like simple, self-righteous statements reveal themselves to be Aziraphale trying to protecting himself from a massive logical inconsistency he keeps stumbling across. 
"It must be bad, otherwise you wouldn't have tempted them into it," Aziraphale says, clearly not quite sure why it's bad actually. 
"You, I'm afraid, are evil," Aziraphale asserts, basically stating that Crowley is evil because he's evil. It's tauntological and therefore doesn't have to make sense. (He says this one shortly before Crowley saves Elsbeth from suicide, poverty and damnation.) 
"So this is all your demonic work? I should have known," Aziraphale says, thinking, "Aha, this time Crowley must have done the bad thing and therefore continues to deserve being Fallen." (Crowley has, in fact, not done the bad thing but shhhh, worry about that later.) 
Once you notice this self defensive habit, you can't unnotice it really, it's just so present in Aziraphale's logic and speech. Aziraphale even at one point says, "Still a demon, then?" after the Ark and Job and Jesus because on some level he probably doesn't want to actually evaluate, it makes no sense to him that Crowley is still a Demon, especially when he has also sinned in a few ways (lied to Gabriel, thwarted the will of God, technically gluttony etc) and nothing has happened to him, to say nothing for all the things Gabriel has done (or has just let passively happen without a thought to interfere).
So yes, I think the entire final argument plays out the way it does because Aziraphale thinks Crowley is good and deserves to be reinstated, to be forgiven by God more than anything. 
He comes into their final conversation nervous but excited, to the point where he stomps right over what Crowley is trying to say. "You see I... I have some incredible good news to give you." The good news is for Crowley, you see, because Crowley deserves this and clearly being forgiven like he so deserves should logically make Crowley happy. It will make Aziraphale happy after all. 
Aziraphale then starts to describe the conversation that he had with Metatron, stating that he thinks he might have misjudged him. And why would he think that he misjudged the angel who had told him point blank to his face that "The point is not to avoid the war, it is to win it" about the Apocalypse? Well, it's not because he's offered the job of Supreme Archangel, that's for sure. As we can see in the flashback, Aziraphale seems nervous and uninterested in the job at first. He says clearly that he doesn't want to go back to Heaven and even brings up a very half assed excuse to try and weasel out of it, a soft no of, "Where will I get my coffee?" 
No, instead, the clear, obvious point where Aziraphale changes his mind about the job and about the Metatron is when he offers to reinstate Crowley as an Angel. Metatron has, quite accidentally (I think? I don't think he actually knows Aziraphale's secret soul), just said one of the most faith affirming things he possibly could to Aziraphale, "We can correct that little error that's been bothering you. You are completely correct that Crowley deserves God's forgiveness." 
Given that, it's understandable that Aziraphale is absolutely bubbly about Crowley's reinstatement when he mentions it to him, like the best thing ever has just happened to him even though he's talking about something that will happen to Crowley and not him at all. "You could come back to heaven and- and everything. Like the old times, only even nicer." (Nicer because this time, they are in love. Nicer because they'll both be powerful enough to make a difference.)
Some other bits of Aziraphale's dialogue from this scene that make so much sense through this lens are:
After Crowley tries to reiterate his constant stance that both sides are bad actually, and mentions how he rejected Hell's offer to work with them again, Aziraphale misses his point completely and says, "But well, obviously you said no to Hell, you're the bad guys. But Heaven, it's the side of truth, of light, of good." Aziraphale's faith in the potential goodness of Heaven and the actual goodness of God is unflappable but so is his belief that good is what Crowley wants to be doing. Like of course a good soul like Crowley would reject working for Hell again but why would he reject a chance to do good like he's sneakily been doing all along? (Aziraphale here ignores the fact that he's also had to sneakily do good on the side sometimes even though he was always working for "the side of good" but that is very par for the course for him sadly.) 
The lines, "Come with me- to heaven. I'll run it, you can be my second in command. We can make a difference," are a particularly telling set.  Everything about these from the high position he's offering Crowley to the "We" scream that Aziraphale trusts Crowley, a Demon, to guide Heaven the correct way more than any angel already in Heaven.
Aziraphale's final, desperate argument also lines up well with this (as well as featuring Aziraphale more completely referencing how he wants him and Crowley to be together romantically). "Come back, to heaven. Work with me! We can be together. Angels... Doing good. I- I need you! I don't think you understand what I'm offering you." Like is the "I need you" here romantic? Definitely. But it's also Aziraphale again affirming that he trusts Crowley to lead him the correct way ie goodness, because, as it's been shown to us many times (and focused on particularly in this season), Crowley will do and always has been doing the correct thing as best he could while Aziraphale would dither and be locked into passivity (like in The Resurrectionists).
So yes, after many attempts to explain to Crowley how he should be in Heaven, doing good and Aziraphale needs his help and one last desperate kiss from Crowley, we reach the final dreaded, "l forgive you." And yes, maybe Aziraphale is forgiving Crowley for not having faith that they can fix heaven, for abandoning him, for kissing him so suddenly. But I hope, after everything I've laid out here in this essay, you can also see why I think Aziraphale is saying, "Even as you reject God's forgiveness and leave me behind, I still see that you are good and know you deserve it so I will forgive you anyway." And maybe, even though it's still blasphemous to disagree with God, it's less scary for Aziraphale to say "I forgive you" one more time than tell Crowley that he loves him for the first time. He is very good at forgiveness after all.
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doobea · 6 months
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KISS ME THRU THE PHONE - ISAGI YOICHI
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synopsis: in which Isagi texts the wrong number and things kinda go downhill.
THIRTEEN - So, baby, kiss me through the phone. -> MASTERLIST contents: fem!reader, college au, fake dating, strangers to lovers, he fell first but you fell harder, generally sfw, confessions and all things pertaining to awkward pinning, a smooch towards the end word count: 1.6K a/n: and that's all folks! ok but real talk i think i fell in love w isagi while writing this smau series whoops
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Isagi blinks once, twice, and a third time. When the chatlog stays the same, he asks Bachira to punch him in the stomach.
Bachira does this action with no hesitation and adds a bit more force than his usual horseplay. It knocks the air out of Isagi and he ends up hunched over by the edge of the living room couch. Reo looks relatively disturbed and Nagi doesn't even bother looking away from the game he's currently playing on the TV.
"I'm finding new roommates next semester," Reo groans and Nagi immediately hums in agreement afterward.
Bachira crouches down in front of Isagi, a smile too big etched across his face as he asks, "Did that help?"
Isagi manages to collect his words and nods. "Y-Yeah, thanks I guess..."
"What happened this time?" Reo hesitantly jumps into the conversation.
Isagi turns up his screen's brightness before placing the phone in the center of the coffee table. Everyone, including Nagi, peers at the messages. A moment of silence and then a shared gasp.
"What are you saying back?" Bachira blinks, trying to overanalyze the chatlog.
There's a shrug and then Isagi fiddles with the collar of his shirt. "I don't know! Uuh, should I just say 'me too'?"
"No," Reo frowns and snatches the device away before Isagi can type anything. "Is that all you got? No girl wants to just see 'me too'. You have to do this in person."
Isagi sputters out a cough. "In person? Like face-to-face?"
"That's what in person means." Nagi comments.
Isagi doesn't know how he feels about that. It's nearly midnight and, while your messages made him wide awake, he isn't entirely sure if you want to see him right now. His friends seem to pick up on his thoughts, mostly because he wears his emotions on his sleeve, and interjects.
Nagi pauses his game, something he rarely does, and looks over his shoulders. "You should definitely go."
"Yeah, yeah," Bachira chimes. "She's probably waiting."
They're right and probably right about most things in Isagi's life for the past few weeks. Isagi takes his phone back from Reo's grasp and finds the courage to reply back.
want me to come over to talk about this?
You respond almost immediately.
my babygirl i would like that
Perfect.
be there in 10.
Isagi rushes to his room, fishing out a fresh pair of socks, the heaviest jacket he has, and a pair of old beat-up sneakers before making his way to the front door. This isn't a big deal, Isagi tells himself. Maybe you're playing a weird game with him, or you actually want to be friends and nothing more, or you do like-like him in a romantic way. The more he mauls over it the less sure he is.
The wind is howling when he begins to jog over to your place. It's pitch black, the only light source being from his phone's GPS and the campus' lamposts scattered around. All of this feels weirdly comforting to Isagi, and he finds himself picking up his speed.
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Your phone is currently somewhere across your room, hidden under a pile of clothes and pillows after you read his text. You try to distract yourself with a generic romance show in the background but find yourself staring out the window, anticipating what the hell you're going to do when Isagi arrives.
And, for the first time, you start to wonder how you even got here to begin with. This whole situation started not too long ago, a dumb fake number exchange that turned into a movie night that eventually rolled into a mountain snowball effect of the worst case of fake dating you've experienced. All because of Isagi's dumb idea that he blurted out without any real thought behind it. It wasn't supposed to be anything.
And, the scariest part right now, is that you know you want it to be something, but whether or not everyone is on the same page is a different story.
You roll around in bed some more, hair slightly damp from your earlier shower and wearing a mismatched pair of pajama sets that your parents had gifted you last year for Christmas. You strongly debate whether to call Rin or Chigiri for any last-minute advice but the thought of it is making your stomach flips. If you were to call, that would only solidify that what you're doing right now is real. Your feelings toward Isagi are very much real.
A sudden sound from your show catches your attention again. Looks like the island's favorite couple has won the prize and the viewers' hearts.
You want to be excited but secretly, you don't like romantic comedies. At least, that’s what you tell people.
In reality, you've seen a whole bunch, because Chigiri is a sucker for them. There’s always some elaborate set-up where the two main characters meet. Then a whole lot of back and forth, some ridiculous, drawn-out conflict keeping the two lovers apart, the usual cliché stuff. But there’s always a moment at the end. A big, romantic, dramatic moment where the two come together.
But you know better. Real life isn't like that, as much as you wish it would be.
There's a long moment of silence before your thoughts are interrupted by a faint knocking noise from your windows. You break your attention from the TV and carefully pull your curtains aside, staring back at a pair of familiar, welcoming blue eyes.
Isagi fucking Yoichi is outside your apartment.
"Oh, shit!" You hastily shut your curtains, ignoring his muffled 'hey, sorry for the scare!' and stumble to get your slippers on. Your phone pings a few times from your junk pile, you assume it's from the boy freezing his ass off outside.
You throw a blanket over your outfit and strut to the entrance. You can't tell if the thumping noise is coming from your slippers hitting the floor or your heart. Your hand sits on the cold doorknob and you begin counting to five in your head before opening the door, revealing a disheveled, shivering Isagi in front of you.
"Hi," Isagi looks out of breath, cheeks stained with pink, and wearing nothing but a heavy puffer jacket, an oversized shirt, and grey sweats. You suddenly don't feel insecure about your current wardrobe.
"Hi," You say back, wondering if he knows just how much torment he's been causing you for these past few nights. "You wanna come in?" You quickly step aside when he starts sniffling.
He takes his jacket off and holds it in his lap as he plops onto your sofa. "You've got a nice place," Isagi says slowly, eyes taking in every detail of your living area. He takes notice of the dog plushie from the mall trip not too long ago sitting by the edge of his foot and grabs it.
You start chewing on your lips as you join him, carefully placing yourself on the other end of the sofa. You swear you're going to start developing nervous habits the more time you spend around him, never mind all the other sources of stress in your life. "Thanks," You reply quietly. "Sorry that you came all the way here."
"You... you were being serious?" He suddenly asks.
Your cheeks flush and you feel slightly annoyed that he has to make you explain everything. Pulling the blanket tighter against your body, you exhale a heavy sigh and groan. "Why would I joke about stuff like that?"
Isagi mindlessly plays with the stuffed animal in his lap now. "I thought you didn't like me?"
You force out a laugh, covering your warm cheeks with the blanket. "You think I would put up fake dating someone for two weeks if I didn't like them?"
"Um, maybe?" He answers lamely.
You find the confidence to lean over and grab the stuffed plushie out of his grasp, rolling your eyes in the process. "I literally named him after you."
"Thought you meant it as a degradation," He chokes out.
You pause and stare at him. "No offense, Yoichi, but you're oblivious to like everything."
Isagi laughs into his hands, probably painfully aware of the fact. He narrows his eyes and offers you a hint of a smile, a bit less nervous and more of your usual banter.
"I think that's what the guys were thinking, too." He quietly admits and turns to get a good look at you, chuckling as he says the next part. "You look like you're about to faint."
And you can't help but agree. Your stomach feels jittery, your hands shaky underneath the covers, and your nerves are shot. But you two are slowly leaning against each other, giggling and almost seemingly threading between an area of something more and something less than just friends.
Isagi stops first and takes a deep breath. He reaches his hand out tentatively for your shoulder. You freeze when his fingers curl themselves in place and the touch is electrifying and burning.
"Can I—" Isagi swallows hard, his eyes searching hard within yours, and gives your shoulder a gentle squeeze. "—kiss you right now?"
"Yeah," Your voice has gone all quiet but inviting.
As Isagi's fingers tighten slightly on your shoulder, he leans in closer, his breath warm against your lips. The room seems to hold its breath as your faces draw nearer, and then, finally, his lips meet yours in a soft, tender kiss. It's a hesitant, careful kiss filled with all the unpredictable moments and emotions that have been building up between you two.
After a few seconds, he shyly pulls back and smiles, a mixture of relief and joy in his expression. "I've wanted to do that for so long."
You smile back, your heart full. "I'm glad you finally did."
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a/n: i started this way back in july and finally finished!! this is my first smau series and im so glad that all of you guys stuck throughout it despite erratic uploading times hehe i love you all!!! Mwah mwah
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