#i was just having my fun then i made myself sad
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From The Members to The Fans
〈 RUKI 〉
At the end he said, "I hope the GazettE will last forever," I think REITA meant he hopes the best view, that he saw from the stage in 2023, is what will continue forever.
The view he saw with the fans
Your happy faces
The place we could all scream together
It's a treasure that cannot be replaced.
I think he hoped it would be nice if that moment could last forever.
I remember you said you wanted to do a live show soon.
He was a kind and passionate man, someone who could openly say, "Even if something goes wrong, I have the most fun when the members get together and we can laugh like this."
I loved his honesty.
Every birthday, we jokingly tell each other that we should take care of each other's health, this year is no different.
The band will never be just the four of us.
No matter what anyone says.
You are our only bassist.
I believe you will always be next to me.
Everyone will feel your presence even if they cannot see you.
REITA's life he built with the GazettE will never disappear, it will always live on.
I will continue singing so it will be as if REITA is right next to me.
We won't become the kind of the GazettE REITA would hate.
I don't want to make you sad.
I believe we all have a limited time here but the human soul remains.
REITA's, the members and mine.
And the fans.
I want to continue to perform so everyone that has loved us, even when they become souls, can come to our lives forever.
It can only happen with each and every one of our fans, we can create this view that he wished to see forever.
That is why I want you to stay by my side and be there with us.
I know he would appreciate it if you remembered him with a smile, instead of sadness.
We will be determined to protect this band more than ever before.
We will make the forever that REITA wished for come true.
So, REITA, make sure to come to every live down from heaven.
There will always be a seat for you.
Things are going to be really busy now.
I will reach out again when there is a schedule made.
〈 麗 〉
To all the fans who supported REITA.
I think he was a tremendous source of support for everyone and myself.
I still cannot accept and face the fact that he is no longer with us and we will not be on stage together anymore.
Maybe this is one of many things I will gradually come to understand.
However, I strongly feel I need to have the strength in order to move forward, if I remain in sorrow, I will not be able to guarantee the forever he wished for.
I believe the path he had taken alongside everyone was invaluable and will live on in his heart, for everyone and himself for a long time to come.
He has given me so much and walked beside me for so long, he will remain as my best friend forever.
Please remember his words, memories and the love he shared in your hearts.
REITA will live on in everyone's heart.
I want to express how grateful I am for everyone supporting the GazettE and REITA.
〈 葵 〉
Of all things after working with the members and our staff, this is the one thing I did not want to do.
There were moments in the past where I almost gave up on my dream.
Every time, we would have a discussion about it, the members would push and pull me to not feel discouraged.
That is why the GazettE was able to keep moving forward.
REITA, you are not the one to wish for eternity, you are eternal.
I can't say something wise like "I'll carry your burden."
I wanted to play more music with you, I wanted to see more with you.
Even if it's the 5 of us surrounded by our fans, any kind of view would be amazing.
I wonder, it's difficult that I have so many things to say knowing none of it will come true.
Once I'm up there, I'm giving you a stern talk. You must be lonely because we're suddenly gone, so until we meet again, please rest up.
I have a little more work to do here.
Thank you for joining us on this long journey. Rest in peace.
〈 戒 〉
REITA had an big presence in my life, more than I can describe; all his words, saving me with his sound, the mood maker of the band, all I remember are the fun things, and above all, the way he shined on stage.
He was the best partner to have in the rhythm group.
That has not and will never change.
I want to carry his memory with me to continue the GazettE with a greater determination.
Lastly, to the fans and everyone involved in supporting us for the past 22 years.
Thank you so much.
I want to continue running forward with the five of us, I hope you will stay with us.
REITA
Thank you for your hard work.
With everyone by our sides, we will continue to protect the GazettE...I promise.
I don't want your 22 years go to waste, there are a lot of friends who don't want that either.
Don't forgot to come to the show!
Let's have another good drink together, yea?
#this was difficult#i apologize for any errors#the gazette#ruki#uruha#aoi#reita#kai#2024#translations
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Talk shop Tuesday: how many and which fics do have planned or have started writing? Talk about them. 🤭
Omg you brat 🙈💗
So I am, of course, insane, and have a Google Doc to keep myself organized (suddenly wondering why I didn't make a Google Sheet... a change may be in order!)
Anyway, so I have "in-progress," "ideas," "abandoned?" and "completed" lists (and then I link to each of the docs within the doc, because I like organization, okay?). I also have a list of lyrics/title ideas and "homeless pieces of writing" (where I copy and paste things that didn't quite fit into a particular fic) in here as well. It's like my own little master list.
Still along for the insanity ride? I swear there's a method to my madness.
I consider a fic in-progress if I've actually started writing it (as in, I have written actual sentences/paragraphs for it, not just jotted down a few bullet points), so here is that list:
6x06 post-ep fic (Tim's Version - hope to have this done in the next few days, if the muse cooperates)
a very (very) bare bones start to a car accident angst-fest
a beachy AU that may and may not happen
an outsider POV fic I started during Chenford Week last year and am on the fence on finishing (it's sooooo random and and feels kind of pointless, but I love outsider POV fics)
a continuation of our 5x08 spec fic collab (because girl, we cannot leave it like that)
On the ideas front (this includes both ideas with tons of notes/plans, and ones with two bullet points and a prayer):
a smutty reunion of sorts...
a sort of enemies-to-lovers AU (Lucy is either a reporter or a screenwriter... or both?, Tim is a cop)
a what-if sort of scenario - what if Lucy and Emmett dated longer (or got back together) - aka how Tim realizes he's in love with her and makes his move
Contractor Tim AU (iykyk - this is basically born out of my desire to not waste the 10K+ words I started for Linstead - we shall see if I'm able to reimagine it for Chenford)
a collab with you that I think would be so much fun (the experience and the actual fic itself), so I really hope we can make that happen together
a Wildest Dreams-inspired collab with @makeitastrength that'll hopefully be a hiatus project
a little thing that's basically me bashing the go-to jealousy trope and coming at it from a totally different (fluffy) angle
an inkling of an idea to go back and dive deeper into various conversations between Tim and Angela over the years (including scenes we saw on the show and scenes we didn't)
And, for fun, a list of ideas I've abandoned (maybe temporarily, maybe forever):
a heartbreaker where Kojo dies - but also included a trip down memory lane at some moments in his/their life so it wasn't pure sadness (full disclosure, this was basically my personal therapy after my dog died a few weeks ago. I am so sorry Kojo, I promise I'm your number one cheerleader)
a fun group/couples game night (the result of me misreading a prompt that said "it's a fight, couples fight" and then the idea of the couples battling it out took over my mind... 😅)
I feel like I'm missing a few more, but this is already the longest, most insane response ever... and if you made it to the end? Congratulations/I'm sorry.
ILY 💖
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"Don't you give up"
#b draws#dbh#detroit become human#markus#north#dbh markus#dbh north#markus RK200#north wr400#norkus#markus x north#i was just having my fun then i made myself sad#also i considered saving this for norkusvember but i dont know what day this fits exactly
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theyre doing a sick cover of the winner takes it all
#art#digital art#my art 🦷#digital painting#i spent 4 days on this but it was fun :)#i tried to force myself to take my time with this to get all the deatils done to my best ability#once i got to the refining stage i got scared and almost abandoned the piece cause it was looking a lil flat#but i just reminded myself that ill go back in to add texture and more detail at the end once i have a clean surface#overall im reaaally happy with how rayna came out#i think this is the most detailed piece of her ive made so far and i plan on making more soon#im mainly just sad about the background cause it just didnt turn out how i wanted it to but its eh#oh well :/#ill keep working on that eventaully#oh yeah and I made this in krita btw#enjoying that program a lot :)#rayna 👁
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i submitted my lovely mouseboy Finnegan for the @ahatintime-oc-competition yesterday :D here is the art i drew 4 them!
for those unaware: he came from a dream i had once involving him and Snatcher But As A Bird; and i sorta just. added onto them from there. they're so sillay
#a hat in time oc#potatart#ahit#(just for the art tag....sorry :#Finnegan Snowshoe#get propergandered. i will conjure up more art of them soon i think#very vivid image in my mind of what their personality is like but its rlly hard to describe#...........#ok quickly avert ur eyes i am going to say something that is embarrassing to me#oc competitions make me nervous and it is because i think last time i did one it went Badly#like idc about the losing part i thought that was really funny but i just felt like everyone.hated me :#i know thats not true and its the brain poison talking but#i remember somebody skimmed thru my account and saw that i was hyperfixated on south park at the time and#uswd that as a reason to not vote for my character#which was one of those things that made me so so nervous that i felt Physically Ill and it ruined like my whole day#confidence is key. i think. so i am grabbing myself by the shoulders and going “YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE FUN!!!!”#sorry for the very Personalness that just jappened here. its okay thought bc i trust everuone averyed their eyes to my sad ramblings#besides i like finnegan :] and i trust most ppl to not Kill me Dead#anyways. ignore ignore ignore FINNECHER NUMERO UNO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THIS IS A LITTLE SOMETHING I LIKE TO CALL: PUTTING TOO MUCH EFFORT INTO THINGS
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probably my most favorite take is that rhaegar suffered from the same “madness” as his father & brother, aka a family history of schizophrenia and my evidence is i know what someone on a delusions of grandeur bent looks like lmao, and someone becoming convinced that their bloodline is the key to saving the world, then getting fixated on someone else they love/admire as also being the key to saving the world, is like, textbook delusional. i’ve always thought rhaegar (and dany & viserys, by extension as the last dragons, inheriting the legacy from their older family members) was a great way of exploring that concept of “are you really crazy if they’re actually out to get you” bc these prophecies definitely exist! some magical portend IS out to get them but unfortunately all it did was make them absolutely crazy!
#fun story several years after his break my uncle got diagnosed with paranoid type schizophrenia & goes ‘i don’t think i’m that paranoid’ &#my mom and grandma just. stared at him. until he went ‘okay you don’t have to be rude!’ aksjdjd. he was hilarious i miss him.#i think rhaegar is often excluded from the idea of targ madness but. watching your father lose his mind & knowing the other adult in the#room HAS to be you no matter what bc no one else will do it they will just sit there and watch. that’s. so much to grow up under.#getting on my soap box#there’s something here in rhaegar & cersei both hearing horrible prophecies at young ages & it just completely breaking their psyche.#it’s so tragic that like. these two great hopes for normalcy in westeros are too far gone before they ever reach puberty. the madness of#knowing too much about your own future. the futility of it. too much for a child to cope with.#i can’t believe i made myself sad about rhaegar what’s my problem rn aksjsj
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aauuuughghgfh god... I was just looking at something I did for a silly little art contest at work and thought to myself "well it's not very adventurous but it is technically proficient :/ " and suddenly I'm feeling a little sick with the realization that that like. completely and perfectly encapsulates the issue I've had with my art as a whole for the past year or so orz
#I'm so so allergic to the idea of anything being sub par that I've just stopped trying to be interesting.#but now I'm so bored and unmoved by my OWN work that I don't have any fun doing it so ultimately I've just... stopped. period.#made myself a little sad :|
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*watches the prequel trilogy with the og trilogy once* GUYS I THINK I UNDERSTAND STAR WARS NOW
#star wars#I have enough chaotic thoughts that I could let this take over my blog for a short time but I probably won’t lol#it’s just that I spent the prequels going ‘ok but this is Bad’ a lot of the time#but then I followed them with the og trilogy (which I’d at least 60% seen before) and suddenly that new background information MADE SENSE#like. Darth Vader. he really IS protective of Luke from the get go. like. hello Anakin.#so like. parts of it are still a bit of a dumpster fire.#BUT I SEE THE FRAMEWORK NOW#brb thinking about Leia carrying her mother’s sadness. that’s a thought. ‘Beautiful and kind and sad’#like. just. oof.#I also actually understand why the prequels are Bad now which is fun and I’m temporarily obsessed with them#may watch TFA at some point because I wanna meet Rey and Finn but I will not complete the sequel trilogy lol#little bro says the sequels Aren’t Star Wars and I preemptively agree but I just wanna steal the good parts to add to my mind#may watch Rogue One at some point too#and then we’ll see if I submit myself to the devastation of the clone wars because I probably shouldn’t but also it would probably fix me#I’m gonna shut up now. I should get ready for bed.
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/ mildly spicy art under the cut! --- sacredshipping ❤️🔥
clingy ghost types. 💕
#/yes I added the lil disclaimer because I shy . SKDJFHSJDKFNSJKDNFJS#INCREDIBLY self-indulgent art because I was really sad over being sick and made this to cheer myself up somehowksdjfsdfs#I'm actually Really happy with the pose on this one? It's a trickier one for sure but oh my goodness it was surprisingly fun to figure out#especially if it means getting to draw Morty all snug on Eusine's lap like that aha h ssdhfsdfnsdsn////////////////////// 🫣🫣🫣#(even out of his vampire costume he just can't keep his lips off the other's neck alright let him be all mushy and affectionate and bitey)#(Eusine is just Over the Moon having the other so comfortably in his arms like that ooughgggghgng)#me kicking my heels giddy over my own work asjkdanskdn#I wanna do sooooo much more touchy feely affectionate pieces with them I am Diagnosing them with Desperately Touch-Starved rn 🫵 /lh#sacredshipping#morty/eusine#morty x eusine#gym leader morty#morty pokemon#mystery man eusine#eusine pokemon#pokemon#pokemon hgss#pokemon gsc#fluff spice?!
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Looking at my old Wheatley fan art (mostly from 2020—2022) and like.
Nothing will ever be as funny as top text "AAAAAA" bottom text "AAAAAA" to me. He's scared and needs to be picked up immediately.
#I actually really like my old art... up to a certain point anyway—#like if it were somehow possible to just have all of those up here able to view I would.#theyre kinda just sitting in my archiving discord server though#i made it for my friends to share stuff about fandoms they like and have fun#but uh#none of my friends are ever active in there so it just feels like me talking to myself in there...#... [cough] ANYWAY I'M NOT SAD ABOUT MY LACK OF PEOPLE TO SOCIALISE WITH AT ALL HAHAH#I wanna redraw some of these st some point :<#c1nn4bunny.txt
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Haven't heard from D in almost two months. Going around the apartment and putting all the stuff that reminds me of him into a box to hide away.
#dating nonsense#mostly just stuff like custom dice and diorama that he made for me#just hurts to look at#it's been almost two years since I saw him in person it's time to fucking let it go#need to snap myself the fuck out of it#but i don't know how#so I'm trying i guess#now severely regretting an october romance because it really ruins the vibe for the best month if it goes sideways later#anyway haha I'm deathly afraid I'm gonna be alone forever and ever it's so cool and fun#desperately wanna be touched but at the same time incredibly picky about who I can let into my immediate personal space at this point#these are not helpful traits to have#life of faye#stoned sad ramblings
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hi! i just wanted to say that you are absolutely my favorite acnh creator, i always look forward to your posts, as i find so much inspiration from your content. i love your decorating style so much, it’s so simple and almost nostalgic. i always look forward to visiting your islands, i enjoy them immensely, they give me such a warm and comforting feeling. so thank you for that!
i think it’s super neat that nordsea is your forever island. i was wondering if you would be able to post a picture of every map from each version of nordsea you’ve finished thus far. i think it would be fun to see all the different versions next to each other, to see how many ways you can design the same island. i’ve never even finished one island, but you’ve finished so many, with the same exact canvas. your creativity and talent truly knows no bounds!! :)
hii, tysm for this super sweet message😭💛 i appreciate your support so so much, thank you for taking time to write this to me😳🥺💕 sharing my islands and talking about them on here brings me a lot of comfort and makes me enjoy the game so much more!! im happy to be here and i do truly appreciate anyone who stops by my blog💛 the fact that it can be a comforting place for others and not just myself makes me feel so happy😭
now the reason it took me a minute to respond to this ask is bc of this post request! i dont mind at all if anyone wants to make a post suggestion like this, its all good and fun, but.. you really got me here😂 i dont loooove my maps in general and im also sadly terrible at saving the ones from nordsea bc the da has been the same for two years now so i dont need to keep track u know👀 i already know i dont have every single one saved so im sorry about that! however i will do this for sure with as many maps as i can find, im working on it now💕
this is the oldest map i have of nordsea! you can still see the original version and im always surprised bc this is not at all the map i would pick today👀 but yea, thats the base, i’ll get back to you on the rest😅💛
#when i started this island i didnt mean for it to be a forever island actually i just did it casually😳#tysm again for this message! it made my day for sure💛💛#also anon dont feel bad about not finishing an island! there is no right or wrong way to play this game!#im always a little sad that im part of making it seem like this is the way to have an island in acnh bc it really doesnt have to be!#i enjoy all types of playing and love seeing others do things completely different from myself! the most important thing is to have fun and#hopefully be creative in the way you want!#i share my islands for fun and to be part of the community! i get so much inspiration from others and enjoy all types of islands/gameplay!#i hope you can have fun on your island! truly💛💛#reply
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Me like 99% of the time: “Lol, yeah, I was super suicidal and severely mentally ill when I was 13/14. I was so cringe. Glad I’m better and can make light of the topic. What a wreck lol”
Me that 1% of the time: …I was suicidal when I was 14
#never realized how fast I moved on#I went from being super sick and once I got better I just erased the past#everything that happened then was something cringe my middle school self did#MIDDLE SCHOOL#I WAS A CHILD#no child should ever be so sad they want to kill themself#I guess I’ve never given it thought#never mourned or reflected what I lost and what happened to me#I guess it’s just easier to completely separate that part of me than remember it#because it’s painful and hard to remember#I wasn’t a good person then I was in a lot of pain and I was so young#no one wants to think about that#but now I have such a huge disconnect between that time of my life and who I am now#I’ve completely made that part of my life a separate entity#and it’s literally been this past month or two that’s i realized this#I’ve spent the past three-ish years just making fun of myself at that time period because it’s easier than thinking about that part of#my life#it’s a chapter I don’t want in my story but keeping it out leaves this awkward blank space#I’ve never been good at receiving apologies or praised for doing something hard#and looking back and admitting that I was so sick so young and was able to get over it is something that’s fucking amazing and fucking#horrifying and I’m allowed to feel those things without pushing it away and making a joke about it#this is so random I meant for this to be a lol relatable post#delete later#rae’s rambles
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there’s something so sacred about sharing what you love with others: whether it be a song or food or clothes, a show or a movie or pictures. it's just... such a deep and personal thing, you know? having someone carve out a little part of their heart and gift it to you with an abundance of joy and excitement and passion... yeah.
#i lowkey had an awful day today lol#and it was my first day taking over as teacher so that's a great way to start it#there are people in seventh period who literally despise me and maybe that's an exaggeration but i looked over their creative writing for#the day and one of those kids literally wrote about how he was having a good day but then it turned into a bad day when i started the#creative writing with them so that was great and other stuff happened idk and one of my tics was really... uh... present today and i was so#aware of it and i feel like everyone was laughing at me because of it even tho ik that was just me being self-conscious but God i wanted to#cry and i shared a piece of my heart with them today for the creative writing exercise and so many of them just. told me how awful it was#like someone straight up started with 'this song is terrible' and then proceeded to write a paragraph about how bad it was#idk. it made me feel like a young kid again - sitting by myself on the playground and reading books. like i was in middle school and#everyone was telling me that the things that i loved were stupid. like i was a kid getting teased just lowkey enough that the teachers#couldn't tell because it wasn't necessarily outright bullying but they were making fun of what i loved which Hurts and then i was in high#school having to defend what i love and then in college hearing 'you ruined this for me because you liked it too much' and it just. idk.#it hurts. i find sharing passions and what i love with others so sacred and important and it Hurts when they just tear it and you down and#ik they're juniors and ik there will always be people like that but it was constant and idk. i'm just sad lol#so anyways even if someone shares something with you that you don't like there is literally No reason to be rude about it. you're allowed#to say you dislike it but it's not okay to just tell them straight up it's stupid or awful or you'd rather get hit by a car than hear the#song again. hm. ig i have some unresolved trauma lol#sorry for the rant y'all i just. needed to rant ig idk
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before i get to the book asks: i was tagged by @gideonthefirst for 9 no-skip albums! this was hard for me. partly bc when i'm listening to an album i don't actually skip songs and partly bc even albums i really like there's usually at least one i'm just kinda meh on. but these 9 i really think i stand by all the songs. sorry patd is on there but i had to follow my heart
for other people to do it ummmm @oberon-miranda-titania? @ratgirlianthe? @hoot-h00t? any of you feel like doing 9 albums?
albums are: Some Nights by fun., A Badly Broken Code by Dessa, Gone Now by Bleachers, A Fever You Can't Sweat Out by Panic! at the Disco, Boreas by The Oh Hellos, HARDLOVE by NEEDTOBREATHE, Pure Heroine by Lorde, Sigh No More by Mumford & Songs, and Transcendental Youth by the Mountain Goats
#trans youth isn't even my favorite goats but it IS the most no skip. due to my favorite albums having songs i actively avoid bc they make me#far too sad#doomsday diaries almost made the cut but then i re-listened to rapture and i still don't like it. sorry ms axford.#also you may say boreas is an ep but tbh the entirety of the four winds series is no skip for me#limited myself to one per artist also otherwise probably chime and aim & ignite and grand romantic would be there#some nights is also maybe cheating bc i can't stand the acoustic we are young that's at the end but i just love the rest of that album#and it feels like that one's not a real song.#tag game#it's sort of fun to discover w this that there are some of my favorite artists (oh hellos + nate ruess + dessa for instance) where i tend t#like EVERYTHING they put out and others (fob + hozier for example) who very much ARE among my favorites but i couldn't find a no skip for
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Someone tell me why I just got overwhelmed remembering that Nancy, Robin, and Steve found out that Max had died BECAUSE they saw their plan fail in real time. They thought they injured Vecna enough to stop all this, and then they hear the four chimes, realize what it means, and they can’t even take a moment to come to terms with the death of a friend before they have to run away from the opening gates. No one gets to tell them gently that she’s gone, they have to realize it happened and everything they did made no difference in saving her.
Yes, sure, El revived Max and she’s in a coma, and she may or may not wake up, but god it’s so horribly sad that that’s how the trio had to find out she was dead.
#stranger things#st 4#stranger things 4#max mayfield#guys i'm making myself sad#it's because i didn't cry. normally i would have cried.#even if this wasn't 2020-early 2022 when i cried all the time over the tiniest little things (shoutout to rockefeller's sad christmas tree)#i still would have cried over that scene because i had cried over hopper. this show has made me cry before.#and i went into the show knowing i'd probably cry.#EXCEPT. literally days before season 4 came out. i started on antidepressants. and now. i just don't cry anymore.#and if there's anything i've learned about myself over my 26 years on this earth: if i hold in my tears they will spill out later#at a more inopportune time. so i don't know when that will be but something's going to be the straw that breaks the camel's back#and i will cry and it won't be fun but maybe it will at least be a release. but i wish i cried over max and eddie#because these waves of sadness thinking about them is not fun. i wish i had gotten the sadness out in a good cry.
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