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#i wanted to do some last details etc but i'm just posting lol
only1benkenobi · 1 year
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Codywan at Sunrise
Background is watercolour and ink added to the digital painting of Cody and Obi-Wan - the tent is a bit of both.
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lucalicatteart · 1 year
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 8: !!NOTE: this is different from the past polls - rather than choosing a story action, you're picking supplies to craft a little makeshift boat (EX: wood will be the main platform, so there should likely be the most of it, however, if there were 100% votes for branches and 0% votes for rope, then it'd just be a pile of wood held together by nothing - keep them balanced reasonably, etc.))
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
The winning option of yesterday's poll was that the adventurer should get around the barrier by crafting a little boat to take a river detour….
~
Finally crawling out of his hiding spot in the brambles, he meticulously brushes the leaves from his clothes and composes himself, now fully focused on his generic traveler's map of the area... After checking it about 500 times just to make sure he isn't confused, he determines that going down the nearby river would likely still get him where he's trying to go, and hopefully be much less treacherous than wandering through haunted forests or confronting the stern gaze of the barrier guards..
It only takes about 10 minutes of following a narrower rocky path off the main road to reach a nice shaded spot of land next to a small river. He kneels in the grass, eagerly rummaging through his backpack for supplies, in addition to whatever he can scavenge from the edge of the woods. The rush of excitement slowly dissipates however, once he realizes that he.. actually.. might not know how to make a raft as well as he thought... Surely it's quite straightforward, no? Just.. make it look like it does in picture books?? There are no rules, as long as it floats, it works! Probably anyone could build one on intuition alone! ... maybe...???
.. Once again sinking into a cloud of anxiety, he slumps over, staring at the pile of materials with teary eyes, doubtful what to even do next.... How should he build the raft? Help him by using the poll to choose the appropriate amounts of materials (determined by final % of votes in that category)!
#paventure posting#polls#choose your own adventure#Hopefulyl this isnt confusing or anything?? I know it's different than the other ones. and I wont do them this way#very often or maybe not ever again. I just wanted something that was really short and easy since the last two has#*had such long explanation text and more effort going into like what different paths there could be and etc.#Since before I add a poll option I make sure that it's something that could actually be followed to it's logical conclusion and like#actually happen (like I didn't include 'fight the guards' in the last poll because obviously just realistically he would lose#and be sent to whatever this worlds version of jail is and then probably the story would end lol. It could then become about#strategizing a way to break him out like.. obviously you can still do something with that and it can still be interesting lol. but I just#mean it kind of derails things a little too heavily. if that makes sense. etc. etc.). But becaue I've been busier lately and since#the last ones were more detailed I just wanted to think of like.. a really quick goofy one with simple choices#So instead of dictating new story paths - for this time it's just .. help him build his raft that he needs to complete the last story#path that was chosen. By picking an option you're kind of adding to the amount of that option being done#if that makes sense. so for example if at the end of the poll it was 100% votes for flowers - he would just have a pile of flowers#with no raft or anything. If it was 100% wood - he would just have a pile of tree branches held together with nothing#etc. etc. Ideal measurements are probably at least over 50% wooden branches. and whatever of anything else.#As long as there's also rope lol. 50% branches and 50% flowers still wouldn't be anything really jhhj#ANYWAY..#Though it could go wrong I'm actually not expecting some sort of weird result. most people have voted very reasonably so far#and are not like trying to sabotage him or anything or choose the weirder choices. Like last time there werent that many#votes for sneaking around the barrier or trying to bribe the guards. I think people chose stuff they thought he could reasonably do#Maybe they want to see him and the little cat succeed in their endeavors#Though there was one person who reblogged a poll once saying something like 'everyone lets make him EVIL!'#which is also valid lol
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astrophileblogs07 · 13 days
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Astro Observations pt.21
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Back with some very random Astro observations 😁
⚫ Saturn aspecting the 7th house actually can dislike 9 to 5 jobs or corporate office jobs. They are better with freelancing. Its coz they can't take orders. Sorry not sorry. 💀(Ig that's a Saturn 7H thing 😆)
⚫ An interesting thing I observed: Among two siblings, the elder one has Leo rising which means Scorpio 4H and the younger one has Scorpio moon. And their Mom is a Scorpio moon too. She's a nice lady though but is such a control freak. (I know I am one too, but like when I met her the second time that "controlling" vibe just hit me like a big yellow school bus 🚌😭😭). That was so funny lol😂. -All the more her birthdate is a single digit 1.(these people are the alpha type, always lead and never follow and hence are dominating, one to have the last say) which is cherry on top. -She is fiercely protective of her kids. Can't emphasize enough on "fierce" part. Very strict. Rules are to be followed very religiously. {She can't stand any one of them doing anything without her knowledge. She even monitors whom they interact with what they do on their mobiles etc.(from what I suspect)} (obv Scorpio moon mom traits) (sometimes Leo moon moms too){nothing unhealthy here, just Mom's way of showing they care 😂}
⚫Saturn and Workout: -Workout 🏋️‍♀️requires CONSISTENCY. Saturn LOVES consistency. -In fact the best remedy for Saturn is sweating. JUST SWEAT by hard work. No matter what it maybe: workout, walking, jobs, cardio, sports etc. 🤸‍♀️🚴‍♀️🏋️‍♀️
⚫ Whilst on the topic of Saturn, people who follow a time table for literally everything the planet doesn't harm them much during its Dasha (even if its your worst one). I mean obviously you played by the rules 🤷‍♀️
⚫ Magha is the only nakshatra for which you don't need in depth compatibility match. They get along with everyone.
⚫Scorpio Venuses/8H Venuses are paranoid. They notice and suspect everything (sometimes things which are not there/imaginary). (For eg, me, who thinks that someone is peeping thru my curtains even when nobody is there and all my curtains cover my windows properly. 🤣).
⚫Also as a basic Scorpio Venus behavior: while writing chats/texting, I always think- "what if someone else reads it?"..so I just don't give much details in texts. (Gosh, sometimes I think somethings wrong with me 😭😭)
⚫The proven way to hurt a Leo moon: compare them with any other person and tell them that the person is wayy better in a certain thing esp if it's a triat that the Leo is proud of. 🤣 (P.S don't do that, its mean and the Leo will hunt you, which you don't want 😀.)
⚫Why do Aries moon men have a bunch of good friends for life and Aries moon women struggle with having at least one good genuine female friend for life? (I'm jealous)
⚫ Maybe its becoz they get along more with guys than gals so the girls are jealous of them...so hence no good female friends. 😢🤡 Aries moons are the best-est people for friendships you'll ever get.
⚫ People born on a Saturday look melancholic.
⚫ You can NEVER mislead a Leo rising. They study litreally everything: what you say what you do, and why you do so. Similar to Scorpios
⚫If you see a person having graceful and "royal" way of walking or behaving, they're are sure shot to have a Magha Ascendant.
⚫Connecting the dots here: as I said in one of my previous posts that Maghas get framed even when they have done nothing, what I interpreted is that Maghas are actually the definition of royalty. They literally have that ✨grace✨, that kinda magnanimous personality and similar struggles to a monarch. Totally King/Queen typa energy here. So with that, the usual consequences in a Kingdom is conspiracy against the king, which the Maghas face. (Enough with Maghas ig, started observing them recently so..✌🏻💀)
That's it for today, until next time! (like,comment and reblog loveliesss❤❤😘)
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thankskenpenders · 3 months
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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.
First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.
Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.
The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...
I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.
The why
I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.
Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.
But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)
The what, how, and when
So here's the plan.
Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.
After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.
I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.
I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.
So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?
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kaiowut99 · 2 months
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A Special Announcement~ | Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V Tag Force Special Re-Translation Project!
I've been itching to get around to posting about this for a few months now, but wanted to wait until I'd worked on enough for it, but also had the idea to create an announcement trailer to go with it for added good measure--after recording and editing clips for a couple weeks and leveling the audio last night, heremst we are! (For some clips, I forgot to turn off the PPSSPP emulator's DevMenu option so that shows up in the top-left, buuut I didn't feel like re-recording those, lmao.)
Details worth reading below the cut here, but tl;dr work has been in progress for over a year in between things, work will continue to be in progress for a while, and the release will happen when everything's ready, but stay tuned, fun's getting started etc etc~
So, I'm sure most of us are familiar with the as-yet-unlocalized-by-Konami TFSP, the seventh and last entry in the Tag Force series on the PSP that came out early in ARC-V's run (featuring the first five series which was a cool first), as well as the current translations out there originally worked on by the guys at XenoTranslations (omarrrio and ScrewTheRules/ClickClaxer01 at GBATemp handling the card and story/etc translations, respectively) and how there are... some issues with what's out there. Everything from the DM story mode being loaded with YGOTAS references (no shade to YGOTAS and much respect to LK/Martin for his ongoing work on it still making me laugh sometimes, ofc) to the off-the-cuff edginess of 2014-2015-era internet culture and the problematic (in some cases, derogatory) language that permeated it--though to its credit, some parts do have some level of translation attempted, but taken as a whole, it can definitely turn people off from giving the game a try and seeing what it brings to the table (which is still a good amount despite the corners Konami cut here/there compared to prior TF games).
I actually did attempt a translation of my own back in 2015 (if you've been following me for a long time, you might remember it lol), tackling the GX story text starting with Judai's heart events, but eventually put it on the backburner as I focused more on my GX subbing work and beginning to finalize everything (which I'm still doing). Sometime in 2022, a friend over on NeoArkCradle (the "anonymous YGO fan" in the opening screen) was poring over the story text and patching it up the best he could to remove the references and inaccuracies with more coherent work, and after a while of seeing what he was working with in the Discord, I was a bit blown away by just how inaccurate much of it was--so alongside him, and using the better tools available since then (including some really awesome work from both nzxth2 [who did a proper re-translation of 5D's TF6 not too long ago and was kind enough to release his tools for it] and our coding helper Xan1242 who we eventually reached out to for some help), I decided to *cracks knuckles* get involved and help give everything a more accurate and professional translation, much like I do with my GX subs, working directly off the Japanese text and files. I've been taking cracks at everything in between the GX episodes I've been finalizing going back to at least last January (and I'd used my little hiatus after finalizing GX Season 2's subs to really get at some other stuff throughout the game), starting with re-translating DM's story text but also properly translating other aspects of the game, from the character names (using the original Japanese names, including those of the TF-exclusive characters, partly since Konami made a whole mess of them in English TF1-5), in-duel dialogue, pack descriptions, and more to images with Japanese text (such as localizing the in-duel cut-in onomatopoeia as you see in the video above, or other little images throughout) using some Photoshop skills I've picked up. And it's been a joint effort, as said NAC friend and I have been bouncing off how we'd like to see this go between us to stay on the same page and all, while also checking with other translators there for second/third opinions as needed.
Our plan is to release two versions of a translation--one which uses the OCG [translated] card names in Story Mode, in-duel, and other text but not in the game's card system (mainly to deal with story-relevant notes like Osiris vs Slifer with the Gods or things like not-Utopia Hope being symbolic between Yuma and Astral, akin to how I do my GX subs), and one which uses the TCG card names in everything (like how the official subs go about it). While we're mostly working with the Japanese game files due to how the Xeno team went about decoding everything, we'll be using the card-system-related files from the fixed ISO provided by FLSGaming which fixed some issues that had been present there. And Xan has helped us with a plugin that will be used to apply our translations to the system files that were hard to edit otherwise (things like the character and recipe names, as well as the pack names pulled from for the Card Description screen), but more on how that'll work once this is ready for release, lol. At some point, I'd like to also look at HDifying textures and things, but that's definitely a bonus-level thing for after the main work here is done.
SO.
Currently, Story-Mode-wise, I've gone through everything up to Yusei's events--so Dark Yugi/Kaiba/Jounouchi/Ishizu/Mai in DM, Judai/Manjoume/Asuka/Misawa/Ryou in GX, and Yusei in 5D's have been fully retranslated, though I took initial cracks at Yuma and Yuya's events to get content for this video lol (I've also been intentionally holding off on as much ZEXAL as I can until I've properly watched the whole show so I have context). I haven't tackled overworld text yet, though (like pre-duel or the tournament-related text, which is all in the same file as all the story text). I've also been handling the in-duel dialogue as I go through the character stories, so also just up to Yusei, though I did take initial cracks at Aki's, Yuma and Shark's, and Yuya and Yuzu's for the video.
Other things tackled that were sprinkled into the video, along with some other notes:
Pack names and descriptions have been retranslated, though the descriptions may see minor edits closer to release for a little variety between worlds given the different characters at the shop. Character recipe names were also retranslated, with Yugipedia's translations for them used as an occasional second opinion, though ones based on pack names had to be abbreviated in spots.
Menu text, from the Options to Help screens and stuff in between, has been retranslated, as have in-duel text strings (so, you'll see a full "Activate Effect" instead of "Activate" or "Switch to Attack/Defense Position" instead of "Switch to ATK/DEF Position", etc--also fixed the "BATTELE PHASE" graphic typo, and NAC friend created a new translation for the "Turn Change" graphic for accuracy since ENG TF1-5 made that into "Next Player's Turn").
Database stuff, such as the Sound Test, Tutorials, Duel Missions, etc., have been retranslated closer to the Japanese text; originally I retranslated the Tutorial text via hex editor, with compromises done on quite a bit of it due to the space limits, but as Xan recently updated a text extractor tool of theirs to more cleanly pull out and reinsert that text, I've been going through and fleshing out those translations more (on my commutes to/from work mostly, to be productive lol).
As mentioned, I've been localizing/translating Japanese-text images throughout the game as I come across them, like with the in-duel onomatopoeia that come up during cut-ins or images in the shop/duel/etc screens using Japanese text, to make sure the game is fully translated.
The series logos, used during the title sequence and in the Series Select screens, were updated with translated fan edits shared on Deviantart (which we'll credit in the final release) for DM and GX, while the 5D's-ARC-V logos were edited to enlarge the "Yu-Gi-Oh!" text on them that was pretty hard to see originally.
The game's original opening sequence starts on an anti-piracy message before going into the Konami logo and then a "From Yu-Gi-Oh!..." screen before the opening animation for each series logo--the original team decided to use the first image to vent their frustration at Konami for not localizing this game, and while that's valid (to some extent), we thought we'd use the opportunity to dedicate this project to Kazuki Takahashi for inspiring our love for YGO and the place it's had in our hearts for all these years.
We'll be updating the names of cards that had TCG releases after the original patch was worked on/updated by FLSG to those corresponding names.
Xan has been working on many UI fixes for us to apply with this, among them 3-line dialogue box text as is used in the ENG TF1-5 games--once implemented for TFSP, I'll be going over everything to make full use of that extra space where needed, so things might not look as they do in the video by then.
Character bios will be worked on after I've done the story stuff, though I've taken initial cracks at it for Yuma and Yuya's bios for the video, along with translating the location/affiliation names ("Domino High School," "Satellite," etc).
Currently no release date is planned, as I'm working on this between my GX-finalizing work and actual IRL work, though we'll see how later this year looks as more work gets done--but as noted in the video, all things being equal, it will be released when everything is ready. I'll try to post regular updates or rambles now that this announcement's been made, lol, but do try not to constantly check in on a release date. 🙏🏽
All that said, I think that covers just about everything I wanted to put out there with this, lol. It's been fun to work on this so far and getting to see what I've re-translated in-game is definitely neat; looking forward to us being able to release everything when ready.
Stay tuned for more; the fun's just getting started!
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featherwingfae · 1 month
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So the nonhuman theme of the day that I've been seeing on the Internet seems to be self doubt both due to internal and external influences.
My response to this theme is this. You are who you are. And no one can tell you who you are but you. (The rest of the post is pretty much just this^^ in way more detail than necessary. You have been warned lol. Buckle up this is gonna be a long one. Literally took all day to write 😅)
Most of us live in a society where we've been told since infancy who we are are and what we must be, and if we don't fit in the predesignated boxes then there must be something wrong with us and we just need to be forced into a box. But just think about the vastness of life for a second. From macro to micro there's just so much to everything it's breathtaking. Everything is layered. Why should one being's existence be any different. There is what is seen and then there is everything else. Some thing's don't need to be understood by others, because they are not there for others. They are simply there. Wether we understand them or not. And that in itself (I think) is quite lovely.
I am Fae. Not just because of ______. I am Fae because it is simply what I am. It's what feels right.
It's ok to just exist. It's ok to live without ever fitting into boxes or labels. And if you find a label or box that fits you, that's ok too. It's your existence. Do what makes you happy. I've also found that sometimes, finding that feeling that you fit somewhere, comes first and the reasons why come after. Be patient. I know it's maddening sometimes when you've got a million questions bumping about in your head, or even just one or two burning ones, but life is a journey. A mystery to uncover through experiences.
I could give you a whole laundry list of reasons why I can call myself Fae. But at the end of the day, the only reason I need is that it feels right. I don't need to act like the stereotypical Fae (from folklore, media etc), I don't need to have magical experiences, I don't need memories. Keep in mind that your nonhuman identity does not need to match anyone else's.
If you're a Fae who loves technology and finds the modern age fascinating. Guess what? There's nothing wrong with that. (I LOVE Minecraft 😁 Though that may or may not have to do with the fact that I get to fly around and build whatever I want from nothing. Yes I'm obsessed with creative mode 😅 I usually get bored in survival)
If you're a Therian who's never enjoyed being on all fours or who doesn't like gear. It doesn't make you any less Therian. Do what makes you happy 😊.
If you're some ancient entity and you use an ungodly (hehe) amount of emojis and/or abbreviations (ex. Lol, omg, etc) it doesn't make you any less ancient or awesome. Do what you enjoy. You are too old to not be having as much fun as you can experience. I'm also an ancient creature, you really think I want to spend my time not doing what makes the happy chemicals 😊✨👁️🪽😁.
If you're an Alien who's not obsessed with space stuff. That's ok. Human portrayals probably don't do it justice anyway, and there's so many other things to be interested in. Like have you seen mushrooms? Those funky little guys come in so many varieties it's absolutely delightful 😊🍄✨.
If you're a vampire who can't stand the sight of blood. Don't worry about it. I can almost guarantee you're not alone (plus there's a lot of different types of vampires. If you know you are/were definitely sanguine then you're still valid 😊).
If you're fictionkin and you're absolutely nothing like your fictionkin type/character. That's ok 😊. People often change with their experiences, it doesn't make you any less yourself.
That last one applies to most nonhumans identities in general honestly 😅.
If you're an angel that doesn't/didn't have big feathery wings. You are still an angel. The universe is filled with too much color and variety for me to believe that all ______ have the same or very similar designs. I've never heard of an angel with dragonfly or beetle wings. That doesn't mean they don't exist 🙃.
You can be a plant who loves salads, a placekin who hates going outside, an objectkin that doesn't use it/it's pronouns or is super expressive, a vampire who adores sunbathing or just sunlight in general, a carnivore that doesn't like meat, an avian that's afraid of flying or heights, a demon with a heart of gold, a deity with social anxiety and/or low self esteem, an herbivore that loves going hunting, a dragon who prefers minimalism, an aquatic creature who doesn't like water, a void that's constantly overthinking, you can match all the known stereotypes for your nonhuman identity or none at all. You can have phantom shifts constantly or never get any, you can have countless identities, you can have just one, you can remember your past life/lives in detail or remember nothing at all, you can believe in past lives and souls, or not, your identity can be psychological, physical, spiritual, etc.
It's s your identity. No one else's. Just because you choose to share yourself or your identity with someone else does not mean they own you or your identity. It is, was and always shall be, yours. (Btw please please please, be careful who you share your nonhuman identity with. Not everyone is going to "get it". And not everyone is going to accept it. Stay safe, mentally, physically, emotionally etc.)
They say names have power. They also say not all things are what they seem. Whatever your nonhuman identity looks like, only you can know what it truly is. Understand that I am not saying that the appearance of one's nonhuman identity should be dismissed altogether, especially when one is still questioning. I am saying, that we shouldn't rely solely upon appearances. If your nonhuman identity fits in the category of x as far as appearances go but x just doesn't feel like it fits, then chances are, you're not x, or there's more to it than just x. I've known I was Fae since right around 2019. However I doubted myself for a long time because as far as I knew Fae were "supposed to have insect wings" and on top of having big feathery wings, I have a lot of them. In fact many of my nonhuman features could be considered angelic. However I've never felt particularly comfortable identifying as an angel. It just never felt like the right fit. It took awhile but eventually after I'd already accepted that my "angelic features" didn't make me any less Fae. I remembered why I had those features to begin with, and it all just clicked into place.
It's ok to not have all the answers or even the correct answers right away. Life is experiences. From moment to moment you are who you are. Things may change, new truths may be revealed, that doesn't make you or your identity any less real. You are whoever you are right now. Wether that is someone/something from everything you have ever been or ever shall be or just one thing right now, unconnected to anything else. You are not fake for changing. You're not fake for not changing. Most have doubts about themselves about all sorts of things. To the point where it seems like doubt is just part of the human world experience (not saying it's only a human world experience, just that everyone here seems to doubt themselves about something or other) and perhaps working through our doubts is a lesson of this place, then again maybe not 🤷. In the end what you believe is up to you😊.
Now, I'm not expecting that this single post from a total stranger will erase all your doubts. Not at all. I didn't write it to erase doubt, but rather to give it a little bit of something to fight against. To plant just one more seed in the hearts and minds of others who might need it or whom it might help in any way. This post is far from the only one out there, fighting doubt in its many forms and faces. And what I've said has already been said in many times and ways. But it's my take and not everything will click with everyone. If this post helps even just one being, then it has served it's purpose. Each and every single one or plural of us is unique in our own ways. And I truly believe that's one of the most wonderful things about life as a whole.
If you've read this far, I apologize if I got a bit carried away and made this post longer than necessary but it means a great deal to me and things that matter to me are very difficult to "sum up" 😅. And if you follow me. I warn you now that most of my posts will probably be a bit lengthy if not extremely so.
And now my dear creatures, crawlers, beasts, beauties, hellions, heavenlies (no I don't care that that's not a word it is now lol), magicals, marvels, wonders, wanderers, wildlings, winged things, whimsies, and whatsits (and everything beyond and in between) I wish upon you a most wonderful day/night. May you always know/remember that your existence makes the world a more magical place. 🌍✨ (And in my opinion we could use all the magic we can get 😊)
👁️🪽✨🍄🍀🪻🌱🥀❄️🌟✨
Till next time.
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for-a-longlongtime · 7 months
Text
On Dieter, Goya's Black Paintings, and Pedro on Talk Art 
Alright y'all, it's Saturday evening, I have nothing better to do (I actually do but I don't feel like it), so welcome to my mini TED Talk about 'how to pay too much fucking attention to the Pedro cinematic universe'. None of this is new, and maybe everybody already knew about this, but I didn't... so here's a nerdy tangent courtesy of googling/wikipedia-ing.
I was reading a Dieter!fic (this one right here by @chaoticgeminate - go read her writing!) earlier today, which refers to the 'Saturn Devouring His Son' painting - that giant mural Dieter is working on in The Bubble:
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(his brush isn't even touching the wall tho, ha)
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The original 'Saturn' by Goya
The fic mentioned its part of 'The Black Paintings', so I got curious and started googling. I'm no art major or expert, so please allow me to just paraphraze the Wikipedia page. 'Saturn' is part of a group of 14 Goya paintings that are called Pinturas Negras/The Black Paintings. They "portray intense, haunting themes, reflective of both his fear of insanity and his bleak outlook on humanity" --this was late in Goya's life, and was connected to several illnesses he had experienced (and the fear of relapsing) and political turmoil in Spain at the time (post-Napolean war, changing Spanish government, etc.
Trivia fact 1: Goya actually made these paintings right on the walls of the Quinta del Sordo (so-called Deaf Man's villa) where he was staying -- so I love that Apatow had Dieter also paint right on the walls.
Trivia fact 2: while Goya was living in this villa, he actually became gravely ill (again) - not by a pandemic obviously, but it's hard to not link that loosely to the COVID period. He had never intended for these 'Black Paintings' to become public; "these paintings are as close to being hermetically private as any that have ever been produced in the history of Western art" (the murals were eventually transfered to canvas by other folks once he had moved out of the villa). Switching back to The Bubble -- I love how the tragic influence of Goya's illness(es) and art/things 'made at home away from the world, not intended for an audience' (so obviously, in a bubble) has that connection to the COVID experience and how many folks were suddenly homebound, along with the burden of illness in many ways (lord knows this all did a serious number on our mental health). In the movie, Dieter and the others do not want to go into isolation again, but that solitude is what eventually led him to painting on the walls in his room. This is not a 'grand discovery' of any kind, but I got a kick out of the parellels once I read up on it - and honestly makes me appreciate the movie a bit more, haha.
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Not happy about another quarantine period.
Alright, more hyperfocusing after the cut:
Some googling led me to a post from last year by @nicolethered (gifs in this post are hers), and she included screencaps of the walls of Dieter's room (during that drug scene), which I hadn't even noticed while watching the movie. Upon taking a closer look, I noticed they're outtakes from other pieces of Goya's Black Paintings! I thought that was really cool, they sure worked on the details with that set (there's one more that's shown in a different shot but I can't exactly figure out which outtake that is):
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First one is a mirror image from Two Old Men Eating Soup and the second one is basically Satan aka 'The Great He-Goat' from the Witches' Sabbath painting. Which IMO makes for fucking hilarious perfection a.k.a. trivia fact 3 -- because we all know about Dieter and his little emotional support goat, LOL. Excellent connection.
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*insert sound bit from Hot Ones interview* : "Just let me love you!"
Anywaaay there's more. The Bubble was shot during Feb 22, 2021 to April 16, 2021, right? Pedro has spoken about how his input in shaping Dieter was mostly regarding his outfits (the Crocs, the robe, etc). But then I suddenly remember the Talk Art interview he had done in 2018, and how he namechecks 'The Dog' by Goya - and lo, guess which painting is actually part of the 14 Black Paintings? Yeap - the dog! So I checked the podcast and he was asked, 'if you could be any painting, what painting would you be?' by Russell. Here is the painting, and below it is what he said on Talk Art:
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'The Drowning Dog' by Goya
"I think… it's a Goya. Yeah, old school. I think it's called 'Dog Buried in Sand' or something like that. It's so… I remember feeling it was such a visual representation of helplessness, in such a… come on, let's all admit that helplessness is a very recurring feeling for many of us, you know what I mean? When it comes to so many things. I guess… I was in Spain, in Madrid, and I was 20. And I went to the Goya museum. What's interesting about it is that the head of the dog is really quite small and sort of adorable, it looks like a stray mutt, and the painting - if I can remember it correctly - is very rectangular. There's so much above him, like the world just seems so big. It's quite incredible, isn't it? I know it's really sad, and sort of dark, and maybe I really like enjoy perceiving myself like..." (He gets interrupted by Russell, and then continues;) "Yeah, he's certainly not dying, it's sort of - it's a moment", (then interrupts himself with;) "Maybe he's totally dying, there's no way that dog is getting out of that. That dog is SO fucked. Anyway, that's the painting that represents my life". (All three of them burst out into laughing.)
If you're still reading this - I am impressed with your dedication to my silly little post, haha. Anyway, I just thought it was so striking that there basically is a straight line from the painting he mentioned in Talk Art to what Dieter is painting in the Bubble. Makes me wonder if perhaps he - or even Russell/Robert - had any input in that part of Dieter's backstory.
Thank you for attending my TED Talk on artistic analysis of Dieter Bravo during COVID, we now resume your regularly scheduled program for Saturday night. 🤪
(Have I been smoking because a local dispensary actually had 'Mando' bud? I sure as fuck have and I blame that for this post.)
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iamnmbr3 · 5 days
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hi there! During some weeks i've really become a fan of your drarry posts(sometimes daily;))..they're so detailed and convince one in a way that they can't say "nah, you're delusional..drarry doesn't exist!(platonic or romantic)"..and tbh i agree with 98% of your opinions( 2% is in little details lol)
I have some things to say:
-in room of requirement scene harry asks draco whose wand is this in his hand and draco replied his mother's [i love how he answers with honesty here bc mostly he doesn't answer straightforward..it's obvious to me how much he changed and how exhausted he is:(] then harry laughed, admitting that situation is not funny at all(as far as i remember)...do u think why harry laughed?the only reason in my mind is he missed bickering with draco hahaaaa:)))
-in shrieking shack voldemort told lucius that perhaps draco's decided to befriend harry(i love voldy for this^^)...do you think he told it to terrify lucius or despite draco's fear, he actually saw any sign of draco being inclined to harry and his side and seeing that courage in him to change his side?
-In your last meta you told "I think he definitely doesn't want to admit that there's something in Draco that he's drawn to." This is also about harry describing draco's appearance..there are some ppl that are actually gorgeous( either according to other ppl or harry) like tom riddle, cedric, cho ginny etc & there are some that look ugly(harry makes it quite clear lolll)..and some average face which harry does not bother to describe much more...as far as we're told draco is some sort of average(ofc you can think of him as handsome like i think but he's not that type of handsome that everyone agrees on like cedric..that's what i think)but harry tells good things about his appearance in a very weird way...it looks like he knows he looks good but he doesn't want to confess that directly...
Thanks for reading, keep going!💙
Thank you for this lovely ask! It truly made me smile so much to read your kind words. I'm so glad you've been enjoying my posts! And for the record I never mind if people disagree with me (as long as it's polite; and if it's not, it's the rudeness I mind not the disagreement). Discussion and respect for different opinions is what fandom is all about.
I think you raise some really fascinating points here!
1) In the Room of Requirement scene I think Harry's bitter laughter also kind of parallels Draco laughing humorlessly when they run into each other in book 6 when Harry's on his way to the Quidditch match. I think partly Harry's also just relieving tension and laughing at the absurdity of the whole situation and how they always come back to each other. And yeah I also love how Draco responds honestly to Harry.
Also very notable that when Harry asks why the three of them aren't with Voldemort, Crabbe and not Draco is the one who says that they're going to be rewarded and that they hung back to capture Harry. Draco, who has no problem answering Harry's previous question (about his wand) or his next question (about how they got into the Room) is notably silent here. (I wrote more about his motivations in this scene here btw).
2) This is such an amazing point about the shrieking shack scene that I never thought about. But wow. You're right. Great catch! This bit is actually so interesting. So Voldemort says:
"If your son is dead, Lucius, it is not my fault. He did not come and join me, like the rest of the Slytherins. Perhaps he has decided to befriend Harry Potter?"
This is such a strange and specific thing to say. Sure it could be him just messing with Lucius. But he could've done that in so many other ways. He could've just threatened to kill Draco. Or questioned his loyalty more generally. Voldemort doesn't even say something like "perhaps he has deserted me and fled" or speculate that Draco has betrayed him and joined the flighting against him. He suggests that Draco has "befriended" Harry specifically.
Also in this scene Voldemort is thinking about other things and not really paying attention to Lucius or particularly trying to torment him. Lucius is the one who brings up Draco and this is Voldemort's response to the topic.
We know Voldemort can read minds. Despite Draco's best efforts (which given that he's alive despite saving Harry in the Manor, must have been pretty good) to shield his thoughts something must have leaked through, something that gave Voldemort pause. When Lucius says that Draco would never befriend Harry, Voldemort just gives him a noncommittal response and says: "You must hope not." Which sounds to me like he isn't buying it. And indeed, where does it turn out that Draco is (clearly without orders or permission from Voldemort)? With Harry. And I've already discussed in my other meta why I don't think he was planning on killing Harry or handing him over, despite what Crabbe and Goyle thought.
Voldemort's comments are especially interesting given that right after the Room of Requirement scene Draco is attacked by another Death Eater who also seems to think he's not on their side, despite the fact that Draco's name is well known and he has a Dark Mark. So...what happened to make him think Draco wasn't on their side?
3) Yeah I absolutely think Harry thinks Draco is good looking but tries to ignore it. I think they are both exactly each other's type.
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Hi, I've been a fan of J2 for some time now but I've never come across the tin hat fandom (do I call it correctly?) before (i always adored their interactions but never actually considered that they could have an actual romantic relationship that's not just in my mind haha) and I'm intrigued now. Could you please point me in the direction of some masterposts about them? Would love to read more about it! & also about their wives and kids bc I don't quite understand how it would be possible for them to maintain a beard-marriage for so long and also to have kids (??)
Sorry if this was really messy but it's 1am and English is my 2nd language so I'm not exactly capable of forming grammatically correct sentences🙈
Hi, there! 😊❤️
And welcome!
You’re about to start a wild ride into the heart of this decade point five romance between Jared and Jensen that will absolutely have you supergluing your tinhat onto your head just like the rest of us (as is always the case when anyone decides to really delve deeply enough into what’s been going on between the Js ever since their paths merged so many years ago).
A great starting place is going to be Speak the Truth, the site I’ve linked above, which pretty extensively covers 2005-2013, although there’s a lot of reading involved in that, so for some more condensed summaries, I’ll include links to a few of my past posts outlining a lot of my own observations on key elements of the Js’ relationship.
But first, I’ve also added timelines for a couple of additional years (2016 and 2017) on my page:
I’ll be adding 2018 fairly soon, and 2019-2023 (plus 2014 and 2015, very important years) will all be here as well as soon as I can finish them.
Here’s a post where I go over quite a bit of my own tinhat journey:
And here’s another summary-type post with some good examples to look into:
I could probably turn this post into a nightmare of far too many links lol, so I’ll cut myself off here, but I’m so glad that you reached out, and I’m ALWAYS happy to chat (in excruciating detail 😜) about anything you may wonder about or want to clarify or have questions about…anything at all.
So message me whenever you like, or send asks, either way.
And I wish you all the best, my friend!
———
Edit: here’s one last link focusing more heavily on the kids/parenting stuff!
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hi! what do you think are the best/most tolerable episodes in season 4 of community? it’s widely regarded as the worst season and I never know which episodes to watch each time I go through a community rewatch binge lol. so, I figured I would consult the encyclopedia! (this is my first time using the ask feature so I apologize if I am not using it correctly)
heyo! this is a great question. I actually have an abbreviated season 4 watchlist that cuts out the worst episodes (in my opinion), while staying comprehensible and making sure you're still able to follow the season's overarching plots:
4x01: history 101
4x03: conventions of space and time*
4x05: cooperative escapism in familial relations*
4x06: advanced documentary filmmaking
4x08: herstory of dance
4x11: basic human anatomy*
4x12: heroic origins*
4x13: advanced introduction to finality
the episodes with asterisks* are the ones I actually really enjoy watching. the others on the list are pretty mid, but are, in my opinion, important enough to the overarching plot and character development to be worth watching. when I'm showing other people season 4 for the first time, I adhere to this watchlist lol.
I’m going to do some (hopefully quick) explanations of how I came up with this list, but you don't have to read it if you don't want to lol:
✅ history 101: it's the first episode of the season, so it really does set the tone and establish some important details (jeff wants to graduate early, troy and britta are dating, this is their last year at greendale, etc.) as with most of season 4, the weirdness seems really contrived and unnatural, but it does have its moments of being genuinely funny. it's also a pretty abed-centric episode, which is always a bonus lol
❌ paranormal parentage: I don’t hate this episode, but it's just kind of boring and doesn't really add anything to the season. I love megan ganz but... yeah. a lot of the jokes seem forced, and there's way too much pierce for my liking. there are a couple good one liners ("you should probably tell your boyfriend's boyfriend" "I remember when this show was about community college") and it does help set up jeff finally contacting his dad, but imo it doesn't quite make the episode worth watching
✅ conventions of space and time: I’ve heard that some people hate this episode? couldn't be me. way too much trobed for me to hate it lmao. there is a lot of jeffannie in it too, but that resolves with the conclusion that annie is just a romantic who loves to fantasize, and doesn't actually have real feelings for jeff. it actually fuels my lesbiannie agenda tbh, because she is evidently just in love with the idea of a man but doesn't actually put that into practice. but that's another post lmao. we have some great one-liners, we have britta helping troy through his jealousy, we have "troy will find me :)" we have some more inspector spacetime lore, etc etc. I love this episode and rewatch it frequently.
❌ alternative history of the german invasion: for me, this episode has almost zero redeeming qualities. the jokes are lame, I hate professor cornwallis, there is so much discontinuity, it has zero importance in the bigger picture of the season and the show, it's out of character, etc. the one thing I like is the end tag.
✅ cooperative escapism in familial relations: this is a big one for me. I never see people talking about it, but to me this episode is one of season 4's saviors. we have HUGE jeff development, jeffbritta moments, some much needed shirley screentime and development, some great jokes ("-to eat garbage dip WHY DID I HAVE TO GO THIRD), classic trobedison shenanigans, and the shawshank redemption homage is very funny to me. plus! adam devine cameo! I like this episode more every time I watch it. unsung hero fr.
✅ advanced documentary filmmaking: okay so I won’t lie, I fucking HATE the changnesia arc. I think it is so incredibly stupid and uncreative. there are a million different and better ways they could have brought him back. but, this episode is just too important in the season's development to skip. and, honestly, if I ignore the whole premise, there are a lot of funny bits and jokes in this one. troy constantly smiling at the camera (read: smiling at abed), troy and annie being the silliest ever, jeff's trust issues, and ken jeong is truly very funny, I just hate this arc so much. but ultimately it's too important to cut. imo.
❌ economics of marine biology: I basically feel the same about this one as I do about alternative history of the german invasion. it's boring, the premise is stupid, it's out of character, it's unfunny, the guest character is lame, and it's pointless to the overall plot. abed and the delta cubes is a little bit funny? and I guess you could argue that the jeff and pierce development is important? but I’d refute that very quickly. it's pierce, who cares. not. worth. it.
✅ herstory of dance: this episode is honestly the upper end of mid, but it has enough good jokes and development to make it worth it. it is also Very abed-centric, which we've established is always a plus imo, and his whole bit with going on two dates at once is very in character. he also meets rachel, who comes back in season 5, so that's important. it also has some great jeff & britta development!!! which is sort of few and far between in the later seasons!!! yippee!!!
❌ intro to felt surrogacy: tied for my least favorite community episode of all time. it's clear they tried to do something similar to what they did with abed's uncontrollable christmas, but it is so incredibly contrived that it is physically painful to watch. I hate the puppets. the hot air balloon story is so stupid and out of character. the songs are bad. how dare they sully the legacy of my third favorite episode (lmao). the only redeeming qualities are troy as a whole (all of his lines are good, and that moment when he pretends his puppet is falling asleep is very funny), and the fact that pierce is not physically in it. but those do not make up for how horrific the rest of it is. in my opinion. haha.
❌ intro to knots: once again! Tied For My Least Favorite Community Episode! they're right next to each other, how convenient. and again: bad jokes, bad premise, I fucking hate professor cornwallis, the changnesia shit is back, the plot is ALL over the place, there is little to no actual character development, the dialogue just goes in circles, and it ends with a random litter of kittens that are never mentioned again??? I guess the only mildly important thing is the end tag with the evil study group, which comes back during the season finale. but yeah. not worth it. disgusting.
✅ basic human anatomy: and here we have a HUGE jump from the last one. this is my favorite season 4 episode, and is probably in my top 15 from the entire show. I could talk about this episode for hours. the troy development alone is so so so good and important. add abed into the mix and Oh Boy!!! britta is great in this one, jeff and the dean's whole thing is so fucking funny, shirley and annie competing against leonard for valedictorian on a technicality is very in character and silly, danny and donald's acting in this one is commendable, etc etc etc. there really isn't much, if anything, I dislike about this episode. jim rash being the credited writer makes me love him even more. legendary. outstanding.
✅ heroic origins: I actually really like this episode. it does still have that sort of unnatural and off-putting vibe that the majority of season 4 has, but I think it holds up. it's in character, it has some great jokes and one-liners, and although it does have its moments of discontinuity, it does a surprisingly good job of staying compliant with what has already been established. certainly much better than alternative history of the german invasion. abed's whole bit with the star wars prequels makes me laugh, the annie's boobs lore, footage of annie and troy in high school (surprisingly well done if you ignore the discontinuity of troy's injury), etc. it's also massively important for the overarching season plot, and we finally get to the conclusion of the stupid changnesia arc. I could go on and on, there's just a ton of really cool callbacks (including one to the pilot, which I only noticed a few months ago and am obsessed with), and I just. wasn't expecting this one to work out as well as it did. pleasantly surprised, all in all.
✅ advanced introduction to finality: this one is not great tbh, but it's too important plot-wise to skip. and, I mean, it does have some good moments. abed immediately recognizing evil jeff, the whole thing being in jeff's head a la remedial chaos all being in abed's head (insert something about how this being yet another demonstration of how fundamentally jeff and abed understand each other, which I could expand way more on but won't in this particular post), season 2 of the cape, "one of us is out of bullets" "is it you" "...yeah" "why would you tell me that," and more. overall, yeah, worth watching imo.
I do also want to say that I think season 4 is a bit overhated. I do agree that it is the worst season, I think most of us can agree that that is an objective truth, but it does have its moments and I do get slightly frustrated when people write the entire season off.
I’m also happy to hear anyone else's opinions on what you think is/isn't worth watching in season 4, especially if you really strongly disagree with me. I’m curious to what your reasoning is lmao.
okay! this is definitely way more elaboration than you needed, but I hope this was helpful 💯💯💯
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theflyingfeeling · 2 days
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well said, Niko 👏
so I went to exit my emotions in Germany last weekend, details below:
we went to the shows in Berlin & Leipzig, with a VIP experience for the latter
and guyyyyyyyyssss let me tell you, BC really did not lie when they said we were there to Exit our Emotions 😩 the shows went straight to the very top of my personal BC shows list, the energy was amazing and all the new songs sounded incredible live, even the ones that weren't necessarily my #1 favourites, like Where's the Exit and Wolves in California. Especially the former sounds sooooooooooooooo good live 💖
and because I was there mainly to enjoy myself and to exit the fuck out of my stupid useless emotions, I barely took any videos or pictures (I never take pictures anyway, how do y'all manage to take such amazing shots at shows?!) despite having relatively good spots to do so. I kinda wish I had more so I could think back to the shows afterwards, but on the other hand I felt like I got way more out of the show when I put my undivided focus on it, and besides indoor shows are always challenging on that regard due to the flashing lights etc. and I felt like every time I was going to film the lighting was not appropriate so in the end I just couldn't bother 😅
I don't really have much else to report from Berlin other than that the venue was great, I had an excellent view and had the best time ever 🥰
not least because I met so many BC tumblr friends!! it was so nice seeing everyone, please come to the Nokia Arena show y'all, we'll be your host it's hocus pocus 🥺
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and then there was Leipzig 🥴
I mean, this is my initial reaction immediately after it (written in my drafts):
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🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈
but yeah, as you can see from this post, @exitemotions and I had bought some silly little gifts to give the guys (rock hand glass markers not pictured), and we were so incredibly chill about the whole thing, like, NO ONE has ever been as chill as we were in advance of the VIP experience, I'm tellin' ya 💅
(we were so chill in fact that when we came back to the hotel room afterwards, we noticed we had forgotten the ceiling light on. you know, because that's how chill and zen and calm we had been upon leaving for the venue 💅💅💅💅💅)
the acoustic set was fucking cute, almost like a little campfire hangout 🥺
about giving the gifts and having our pictures taken: I feel like I was working on some kind of autopilot and can barely remember much anything 🙃 which I'm kinda mad at myself about lol, but I guess the guys liked the gifts (Olli said the glass markers were important, as my foreword for them was that they'd no longer have to fight about which glass/cup was whose, and I remember Tommi saying that socks are always useful. the others are owners of feet as well, so I suppose they agree 🧦)
we had made all sorts of grand plans for our individual pictures with the band but ended up with having "regular" ones after all, because while there was no feeling of rush per se at the m&g, everything was still happening relatively fast and sort of in their own course, and if we had wanted to do any funny poses or whatever, we should've been faster and in a little...sharper mental state to ask for them 😂😭
but we were chill though, I promise 💅
(I'm just cringing at myself so hard because I look like a fucking teacher standing for a class photograph 😂💀 it's funnier if you know I'm actually a teacher lol)
during the show we were on 2-3 row because we kinda missed our cue to run and reserve our spots before the acoustic set. personally I blame Santeri the tour manager for this (and also the fact that there were so many people there who had already been to VIP on this tour before, so they knew what to do 🤷‍♀️ meanwhile we were just left standing like "...wat 🧍‍♂️")
the show was just as great as the Berlin one, I honestly can't put them in order because they were both amazing and really made me forget about my sad little life 🖤
Rock Band From Hell was also alright. the one with no shirt on was hot
Ghost Kid was cool too. the one with no shirt on was hot
...so hot in fact that I already fell in love with him at the Berlin gig, and so when we were on our way to the merch booth after the Leipzig show, we ran into him and I flirted chatted with him a bit and had my picture taken with him 🥰 he was soooooo sweet and funny and I hope he'll stay true to his promise and keep the thing I said to him ('the drummer of BC could never [swirl the drumstick in his fingers in between every beat like you do]') "just between you and me" 🤭
from the merch booth I bought the XOXO longsleeve which looks super nice (sadly the quality isn't as super though dfgdgdsdh)
the next day it was time to return home, and as @kraeuterhexchen was seeing me to my platform at the railway station, I broke into tears in the middle of an escalator and didn't stop crying until boarding my plane lol
it's just that I was really nervous about travelling back to the airport from Leipzig because I had two changes of trains and the horror stories I've heard of Deutsche Bahn always being late were only adding to it, and that stress somehow triggered some sort of emotional meltdown in me and I realised the trip that I had been waiting for 6 MONTHS was now ending?? there had been so much talk about how we'd "do this and that when we go to Berlin/Leipzig and see BC" and now it's all done and gone and ?????? how does one move on after that 😭
but mostly I've been crying about the gift I gave to Olli 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
some of you have already heard about this, but I had made Olli this pin cushion ring:
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...because I wanted to "support his sewing hobby", as I told him then sdhfhdfhfhfh
he seemed to really appreciate it, and as I demonstrated how handy it was (because you can wear it and easily put the pins there while sewing instead of having to reach to a pin cushion further away on the table), he told me he only had this huge pin cushion ("a brick" he called it, the one you can see on this video), and aaaahhhhh I'M SO ANGRY AT MYSELF for not remembering much else or barely daring to even look at him to see his reaction 😭 I do remember he got very excited when he heard he was getting a sewing-related gift though ("yessss" he said, if my memory doesn't fail me too bad) 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
and I'm so sad I didn't even get a picture of him with it, because Joona the photographer was in the possession of my phone at that moment 😔 and I also forgot to tell him I had made it myself, though I believe it's self-evident. but, you know. still 😭
and the reason why I've been so emotional about it is because I had made the ring weeks ago already, shortly after the album release event, and since then I have admired it every day (because hellooooo is it not the cutest?!) and I had imagined all the scenarios in which I'd give it to him, what I'd say about it and how he'd react to it (I wondered if he'd even know what it was, but of course he immediately recognized it as a pin cushion when I showed it to him 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭), and yesterday it just suddenly hit me that when I'd be back home, the ring would no longer be there on my table for me to admire and hold in my hands, because Olli has it now? it's OLLI'S now, as intented, and yeah idk why but even now, two days later, I'm still literally crying about it as I'm writing this because I had grown strangely attached to that silly trinket and now I'll probably never see it again 🥺😭 (I guess I should just make one for myself too lol, my old one that I made almost 17 years ago is a wee bit shabby)
anyway, if anyone sees him, can you please tell him to take good care of it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
the world's biggest thanks to everyone who I hung out with on this trip, but especially to @kraeuterhexchen whose stunning art I can now admire in calendar form on my kitchen wall every month of the year (yes I shall keep you updated):
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...and to @another-sun the organizer extraordinaire, as well as to my travelling companion @exitemotions (thanks for all the laughs with a touch of chaos in between <3)
here's me with BC again, the only other picture that's not blurry af lol
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in conclusion, 🎵 never again, never again 🎵
...until next time 👀
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midorisudachi · 1 year
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It's been a while since Iast posted here, ja? I was so busy for the past month and a half finishing up my Fennec Shand cosplay (and Boba Fett for my son). We wore it to WonderCon last month! (If you want to see photos, head on over to Instagram. My user name is the same as here on Tumblr: @midorisudachi )
Alright, so this more than likely seems random, weird, and nonsensical, but to me it makes total sense because this is for my own entertainment and a slight parody of my character & her companions in Skyrim. I was unsure of sharing it at first, but then I decided "Why not?", as this actually took a while to draw (with all the detail) and to colour in, so I actually am proud of this silly piece. It's 11" x 14" in real life.
Anywa: when my OC Katarzyna (an Imperial) first entered Morthal (swamp town), she and her two companions (a Steadfast Dwarven Spider & a Solstheim Dunmer Elf by the name of Teldryn Sero) went into the Moorside Inn. The moment my character stepped into the inn, some snarky broad named Alva immediately said, "Well...aren't you the pretty one? I bet all the men chase after you!" And I thought, "Who the hell are you, bish? You don't talk to the Dragonborn that way!" Lol! 
So this random scenario entered my head & it amused me & I just had to draw it. 
If you are not familiar with the game, you can carry a lot of items & also make your companion (who helps you fight enemies) carry a lot of stuff, too. I imagine that in "real life", it would be way too much to carry. I had to make the characters look ridiculous, such as Katarzyna dragging around a bag of dragon bones & holding her huge weapon; mismatched armour; looking tired as hell after running all over the place and fighting monsters and dragons; with dirt and blood on her. She's anything but "pretty". Lol. I'm always making Teldryn carry excess loot, armour, ore, ingots, herbs, etc all the time, so I had to draw him struggling as he hauls everything that Katarzyna cannot hold. My spider can't carry anything; it just follows me around and helps me fight.
And no, the men do not chase my character. In fact, a lot of them talk scheisse, because my character is an Imperial (who are despised by most Nords, the people of Skyrim).
I first played Skyrim in 2014. I had 220 hours invested into the game until I stopped in March of 2015 (2 months before my son was born) and never finished the game. It wasn't until this past February that I wanted to play it again! So far, I'm about 72 hours into the game and maybe 1/3 done with the quests? 
Who else has drawn Skyrim fan art? Please let me know and I'll check out your work!
Drawn with Sakura Pigma Micron pens & then coloured in with a mix of Ohuhu Markers & Copic Markers. Highlights done with a gel pen. The textured background  (and steam above the spider) were done in Photoshop Elements. 
Skyrim/Characters (c) Bethesda Game Studios
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foggyparadisecandy · 2 months
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I know this is going to sound like I'm bragging or something. The truth is I focus on the negatives way more than the positives and I'm doing my best to recognize and respect my kinder side.
Hopefully it gives some of you who struggle with low self-esteem the motivation to make this shift too. I know how hard it is to see our positive attributes and positive impacts we have on others.
So take this as an example from my life, and see if you can find the things in your life that you can embrace to feel good about yourself.
This is kind of an example of the post I wrote last week about latching on to "real" affirmations to help boost self-esteem. Meaning that we should look at things that are based in the real world and real interactions to build around, as opposed to those statements like "I'm successful" "people like me" "I'm a winner" etc - that, for many of us, our minds will IMMEDIATELY reject because we truly don't see ourselves that way.
Those blanket statements of positivity, well-meaning as they are meant to be, actually end up reinforcing our negative images because our minds say "no ... we aren't that way ... we suck". (go dig up that post for more details - click the "on topic" tag and it's easy to find - UPDATE: Click here for the post).
Anyway ... lol ...
I'm pretty kind and open in my communication styles and do my best to be empathetic and caring. This extends to my work and the people I manage.
I won't go into details but one of my people is leaving our company to go to work for someone else in a few months. I've been working with this person for eight years and mentored and supported their advancement, doing my best to make sure they had everything they needed for success.
They wrote me a very sweet letter last week telling me how much I've meant to them and how I helped them build up their ego and self-esteem. I always made them feel included and important - valued and respected. She told me she and her husband both love me and appreciate everything we've done and how I have supported them both at work and in their personal challenges.
Fuck. NGL I'm so emotional these days, I cried reading that letter.
You never know how you touch other people by just being kind and respectful.
I've been blessed to get a lot of those unsolicited positive feedback messages over the last few months as I've reconnected with old friends. I need to remember these things next time I want to have a pity party or beat myself up.
I hope all of you can think of kindnesses and love you have put out in the world and remind yourself of the same.
I feel we are measured in life by what we put out there.
Be kind to others ... and ... this is the hard one for so many of us ... to yourself!!!
I've started to realize the depths and breadth of my kindness to others. And I've NEVER been kind to myself. Always a harsh word. Always a "why did I fuck up?"
I am changing ... slowly ... it's fucking hard. But I hope you take strength from my journey and see that it is possible. I'm no saint. I'm not some special person.
I'm just kind and caring and empathetic. I know a lot of you are the same. To others. Now flip it around and give some of that to yourself.
You deserve it.
My love to you.
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natsadkid2 · 2 months
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27 March 2022 for latest update from this blog and now I’m back!
Re-draw project: Teenage magazine ft. Irwin and Barry💅🏻
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This is original pic I drew ~3 years ago👇🏻👇🏻👇🏻, You can see some little details of their clothes that changed a little bit especially Irwin’s suspender belt for more fit to his jacket
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If you winder why I put too much watermarks on new one lol, actually it’s a little joke that I wanted to do something different from my previous work that the watermark has only one, in the bottom right of the image. I just hope it can protect me from someone who will steal or re-upload my FanArt (actually this way can’t solve this problem that much but “at least” many ppl gonna know where is this pic from/ who’s real art owner when my arts were re-uploaded by another ppl)
Actually I don’t think before that one day I must post about this point, bc I think my arts aren’t famous or good that much to touch someone’s heart(?) until use it as a stuff for sending to wrestlers. Plus, there have many many artist whose has more opportunity to take more risks than me because I think they’re all better artist than me. But at last it still happened to little blog like mine💀look at this👇🏻👇🏻
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I'm a wrestling fan from Thailand. Getting an autograph from each wrestler is very difficult and never happened to me(Whether it's a problem with currency units, banks, transportation costs that far away like on different side of the world, etc.) So, each wrestling Fanart I draw I don’t expect anything about money or even expect that they(wrestlers) will see my FanArt(bc they’re all old and not use any social media) . I’m drawing bc of self-relaxation/ make you enjoy my arts/ make you know that I like these wrestlers too. But there has someone expect money by using my art (that owner doesn’t expect anything) to be the way to earn little money, I just think it’s not fair Plus, if I got an autograph from my favorite wrestler on my Fanarts for real, I would definitely not sell it. Because it’s something that has sentimental value, cannot be measured in monetary terms. Meanwhile, some people can easily get a wrestler's autograph BUT didn't see its value, sold it for someone else , That’s horrible/ not cute/ not ✨FABULEUX✨ at all 🗣️🗣️
Until this day I still can’t describe my feeling about this, funny? Irritable? Or???😂. Bc at the same way, finally FanArt from Thai girl can reach the hands of uncle Mike and uncle Barry, they have seen my FanArt already. I can’t believe it happened to me
(⭐️Important point) You choose my ugly fanart lol I mean.. not many people understand that it’s WWF Highschool AU!!🤦🏻‍♀️can’t imagine how uncle Barry and uncle Mike gonna feel when reading wtf sentence on this art by don’t understand anything. They can’t access the imagination of young girl😂
And yes, this is my face when I scroll down the phone screen and see many old FanArt with weird lines and coloring lol. Too baddddd😵‍💫But I won’t delete them lol. Keep it as memories how far of my drawing development.
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artist-issues · 8 months
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I love your post detailing greta gerwig's changes in her adaptation of little women, but isn't Narnia definitely flavored with some universalism? In the Last Battle, a worshipper of Tash ends up in heaven because he's like "truly seeking the face of God" essentially even if he knew Aslan by the wrong name because his culture only exposed him to Tash. Also, I was raised protestant so I don't know if catholics have a different idea about what counts as universalism or not, but basically I'm not so sure if this will get in the way of her working on the films, especially if she does the Magicians Nephew. Unrelated, I wonder how they're going to go about adapting the Horse and his Boy without it being lambasted for racism etc lol
I think "flavored" with Universalism is a good way to describe The Last Battle--and only The Last Battle, and only that bite of the meal that deals with the young Calormene. Because my understanding of Universalism is that they believe all people, regardless of their beliefs contradicting Biblical Christianity, go to heaven and are not condemned for choosing to be god-of-their-own-life.
You can't quite look at C.S. Lewis' entirety of work and believe he was a Universalist in that sense. He certainly believed in the Biblical truth of Hell. Otherwise, specifically in Narnia, there would be no "Darkness on Aslan's Left Side" that all the creatures who fear and hate him disappear into at the end of the world. That seems like a pretty straightforward representation of Judgement.
I think the whole thing with Emeth the Calormene is interesting. From the language Lewis uses, it seems like he's trying to say something about the posture of a heart more than the name one swears by. Emeth is confused that he's been allowed into the True Narnia because "all my life I have served Tash." But Aslan basically looks at the heart; he says if Emeth had been serving Tash, his deeds and his heart would match Tash. It actually seems more like Emeth didn't know who Tash was at all, or he would have been performing vile works to please Tash. Aslan also says Emeth would never have kept "seeking" for so long if his heart had been serving Tash, which implies that Tash is easier to know than Aslan.
All of that is fascinating (I do think it is the theologically weakest, if not worst, part of the Chronicles of Narnia series.) But I don't think it has anything to do with Universalism as we know it today. Unitarian Universalism is just "Believe whatever you want as long as your belief system doesn't judge other people's belief systems, and you'll be fine with 'God.'" Lewis certainly didn't subscribe to that unbiblical worldview, even with the Calormene in the Last Battle.
I don't know what you mean about the Magician's Nephew.
The real problem with Greta Gerwig is not that she claims Unitarian Universalism. It's that she can't tell a story that is faithful to the original books; she has to transpose it into her own values. So, for example in what we're talking about, if she were doing "The Last Battle," she'd certainly cut out The Darkness on Aslan's Left Side scene, and maybe even reduce the whole conversation between Aslan and Emeth to "all are welcome!" But the main thing she'll do is elevate Susan, Lucy, Jill, Aravis, and Polly to a disproportionate degree.
Finally, I would just say, I'd love for somebody to explain to me what makes The Horse and His Boy racist. (With a reminder that nobody on this website knows my race, so nobody can claim that race-based unconscious bias is what's keeping me from seeing it.)
Lewis invented his own race that, yes, is heavily influenced by Western-Arabian-Nights-interpretations of Middle Eastern cultures. But the Calormenes don't serve Allah, they serve Tash and other gods. The Calormene characters are not all ugly. The Calormen food is not all disgusting. Aravis is a Calormene, and she is a heroine and a main character. Not even every Calormene is even evil, or the enemy of Narnia, though the nation is. What, just because a non-white nation is depicted in Narnia and you can see what culture their fantasy culture is based on, that makes it racist? How? Because Lewis doesn't even write all Calormenes as good or evil, he writes them as humans. Explain to me how that's racist.
(I mean, not you, @childlessoldcatlady, I'm enjoying answering this question. I just meant, someone explain it, now that I'm on the subject. Thanks for the question. I'm Protestant, too.)
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claudiajcregg · 1 month
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Tell Other People About Your WIPs
make a list of all your WIPs with a brief description of each and then people can ask you questions about them and then tag other people.
Tagged by both @onekisstotakewithme and @miabicicletta 💜💜💜 Thank you, guys <3 I don't know who to tag that hasn't been tagged already. Interested? Tag, you're it! :) (Please do know that there are no set sections. Pick whatever you want. I went the deranged route.)
I have an outdated WIP list, and many others unaccounted for. This is just a selection of stuff I could see myself posting or editing/retooling to write something new. I love talking about my WIPs, about as much as I hate being perceived because they are not remotely interesting. (I also love knowing which ones people are interested in! I have an incentive to work on them!) (Instead of snippets, part of my feedback loop is sending actual rough drafts to get a sense of whether it's worth working on more.)
Multichapters, different levels of completion.
S5 Pregnancy AU. My main WIP. Can you believe I’ve had this idea for a year… almost to the day? I’ve been stuck since November bc I don’t know how I want this one to end, beyond a birth. (As I’ve mentioned in the past, I feel like this has legs to become a fluffy universe. I have ideas! Timelines!) Gist of it: CJ gets pregnant circa Zooey's kidnapping. How does it change S5? It's less angsty than you think.
Campaign bars, aka campaign conversations sometimes happened at bars in the 1998 campaign. Fun stuff. I need to pick it right back.
What Once Was Ours or the IM AU (2021), aka IM ends with a breakup. Not a WIP. Not a UFO. A secret third thing. (“Finished” but not edited, and I’m doubtful people would be interested. Probably bc of some bittersweet ~memories~ attached to it. I mean, I shared a third of it to discord and people couldn’t care less, at least after a while. Now, better IM AUs are being posted these days; I'm not in a rush.) 33 chapters. 150k words. I do reread it every once in a while, and I cannot put it down. But its 'age' takes me aback. If things had been different, I'd have posted this in H2 2021/Q1 2022 (or even the planned Q2-3 2021). But alas.
The “Almost Ready, question mark” Category
Another SVD prompt meme claim: what if CJ has the crush first. The thing is, I tend to write her as having a relatively obvious crush on him at first until something makes her wise up. So this is just some ridiculous, post-first-meeting thoughts. Most of it was written in one sitting! It kinda fits with something in the campaign bars fic, too.
Post birth, hospital story: A couple of hours after their bb girl is born. Pure fluff. Recently reworked it to make it less wordy. Still failed, but it’s better focused now.
Many ficlets – the few I did post on Tumblr that haven’t been posted to the story I’m collecting them in, plus a couple more. I'm thinking the ice skating one, Jan 22, a few post-eps I wrote last year, etc.
Ambitious Projects I don't think are happening right away (or ever), but probably have a detailed outline somewhere
(I put this up instead of last, because the next category has faves, but it's also a long one.)
Danny is back a bit earlier on s7. Toby leaks (or tries to leak? I always wavered) the shuttle to him, as he and CJ are getting closer.
Simon lives. How does his relationship with CJ evolve post-honeymoon phase? What is it like when Danny returns?
You’ve got mail AU. This outline had two ways the climax could go. I had fun.
Epistolary collab (?) fic. Probably an X + 1 fic. The only one with nothing written; don’t rule out writing it individually at some point.
And because this is so long already (but not as long as it could be)… A few more under the cut – more "I just want to make sure I like them" and "this meme reminded me I meant to pick those back up." And they are still not all. (How do you summarize seven years of writing?? I've only posted 20-something of them, lol.)
“Almost Ready (but I feel like I want to make changes to them) (might just redo them altogether)”
Haunted by the Notion, 2007 edition. My beta Ruth suggested this when she edited the other story, and I wrote it around then. It’s another Christmas dinner at Filomena, and, eight years later, things are different. I feel like it hits expected beats, and is just missing some oomph. Maybe. (As much as I do like it, half tempted to make it 2009. Or later.)
Heaven’s here…: A interrupted proposal. I’ve written many proposals over the years, and I love toying with different ideas and setups. Danny takes the lead here, but I’ve been intrigued by the idea of having CJ do the final twist.
5 to 6 am 'me' time. Another story inspired by last year’s rewatch that I wrote right at the start of it (so Jan 2023?). It has five short parts with five different years of what CJ describes in the pilot as her “me time.” This is one when I think one per year would be fun, but I don’t want to repeat myself.
One bed, “sexy” edition. An AU to a sort of AU (one of the drabbles from this summer) and… it's what it says on the tin. The world does not need to read my attempts at smut. If I didn’t put it in the previous category, it’s because I am not sure that I want to post it. (All the previous attempts are locked somewhere; unfortunately, someone loves this one and noticed when I tried to do that, lol.)
First baby kick: I remember writing this while in grad school (so, late 2017? First half of 2018) but I lost it, along other fic, when my laptop had to be reset because I used Bear to write back then, but didn’t have sync across devices. I rewrote it, and I feel like it's not the same, but still. It's sweet! Includes: Danny talking to the baby, domestic fluff, and… baby kicks!
“This meme reminded me they exist and I love them, so don't be surprised if they are posted before anything in a previous category”
(Lbr, if I added something about them in this post at all, it’s because they sparked some memory.)
Mosaic broken hearts: CJ, circa S4, jealousy. Prompted by a former fandom friend, back in my productive era (first half of 2021; before that friend just ghosted me.)
I can’t believe I captured your heart (pancake breakfast, three words and eight letters). For a while there, I edited it so much but then I fell off. iirc, it was part of some morning-related prompts I saw around that I tried to fulfill in 2018? 2019? And they had like internal progression. But this one was the best of the 3-4, and I kept tweaking it.
Green light of forgiveness (IM-ish) — there are many other IM/IM-Tomorrow snippets I’ve written over the years. I’m not sure if this one makes much sense, but I liked it enough.
Distance — I recall liking this one! Might have to bump it up. CJ is in Africa, Danny is at the Farm and sulking because they left off on some sort of argument. There is some Danny-Abbey friendship goodness here. I even have a second file that is “Distance - shorter version (it’s not)”
Danny writes fiction, shows it to CJ during her pregnancy and she’s into it. Technically written. I would probably try to take another stab at it. Third time might be the charm?
San Andreo phone call/fallout from ID. I just had the idea of CJ reaching out once things calm down. This is one of those fics I’ve written a version of every year or so, but I think there was one I liked quite a bit.
Terrible taste in men — a run-in with an OC ex of CJ. It was so dumb.
Fka Impatience - actually beta’d three years ago (by that fandom friend I've mentioned twice before… actually, three times) and “done”. I just think I’d change so much about it these days. It started being something else but ended up being a CJ-Toby friendship story in which they have lunch and catch up. But I would want to rewrite most of it now, and not just because it’s from like… 2019 (but finished in 2021).
I forgot this one initially! he's passing by, rare as the comet in my sky - 2? 3? times CJ thinks she sees Danny somewhere, and one time she does. (Which tried to work in the 'I remember shunning you' line.) I even wrote some sort of sequel later! Probably useless.
I said I would post a lightning round with fics that are either also done but not ready for me to mention them, or just… not done at all. The length of this post and how much I've spent on it is embarrassing. To give a general overview: in line with the nonsense I've been mentioning, includes phone calls at the end of S7, also a few friendship-focused fics around that time, too; present-day stuff; anniversaries; Hollis fundraisers; weddings; many ficlets, introspective thoughts, a “yes day” fic that's super sweet but needs better dares, the third memoir idea (the original one!!!!) that I had three years ago… And those are mostly the ones I had preselected, lol.
If you're interested, I can screenshoot this part in the notes app if you message me!
Anyway, this is embarrassing, and the worst part is that it's not all. fml.
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