#i want to spend longer on it but whatever
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Hi hi! Hope you don't mind that I have another request eheh... 🥲 I'd like to request smut with some build up before it, if you don't mind of course ^^; I've just been recently obsessed over those tropes of s/o(s) being apart for too long. And then thought of a reader who happens to be an intelligence officer working for KorTac. She and König aren't together yet per sé, more like have fallen for each other but never got to voice it out. Now, reader is chosen to carry out espionage against their enemy. However, it lasts for a year or two. Which is risky af. Anyway, those feelings they had for each other never left and they only grew within time. Plus they really miss each other hjshjs- And then when she finally comes back, cue the reunion. Cue the confession. Andddd cue whatever happens after that. Sorry if my request is more lengthier than before 😭 feel free to decline
So uh yes. That's basically it. Stay safe and take care of yourself 🫶 just gonna drop this gigantic special delivery package to this wonderful writer over here (you ofc) of... Oo what's this— BOOM. LOVE ✨💓💞💕💖✨
OMG this is such a sweet idea🥹 Never feel bad sending in a request! I love reading them and I love the challenge of bringing your idea to life! Thank you for all of the love you send my way, it is very appreciated and it makes my day to see your messages and comments! I hope you have a fantastic day and enjoy the story!
Reunion (fem)
MDNI🔞
Master List
>cw: fem/afab, p in v, oral
2.3k word count
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You stand in your room packing your suitcase as König sat at your desk chair. His eyes slowly going up and down your body, taking in how beautiful you look doing something so mundane. His mind flushed with thoughts of you, your mission, and his feelings. He has so much to say, but now isn’t the right time.
“Are you nervous Maus?” König bounces his foot nervously.
“I- no.” You lie. “It will be easy.”
“You’re definitely the best person for the job.”
You turn and smile at him. You want to say how much you’re going to miss him while you’re away. You’re aware that this mission will be long, maybe a year. It hurts your heart to think he might meet someone new while you’re away. What if you come back and he has a whole new life? A lot can change in that amount of time. Your heart sinks, but you continue to fake a smile for him.
You turn and face him. König looks up to meet your gaze, his pale blue eyes look sad behind his mask. The mask hiding the frown on his lips. He stands and walks to you, wrapping his arms around you in a tight hug.
“I’m going to miss you Maus,” he whispers as he rests his head on top of yours.
“I’ll miss you too.” You wrap your arms around him and hug him back. “Don’t forget about me.” You say with a giggle in your voice to hide the pain in that statement.
Your giggle doesn’t work because König notices. His arms tightening around you, “I could never forget you, y/n.”
König has the overwhelming want to lean down and kiss your soft lips, but he can’t. You two are just friends. Military code forcing him to shove his feelings for you aside to not cause any issues. Yet, underneath his uniform, he is just a man in love; desperate for a chance to touch you in a more intimate way and express his love for you. He settles for friendly hugs and breathing in your scent instead.
He pulls away from the hug and looks down at you. Your beautiful eyes looking back at him. His heart pounds in his chest, he is already starting to miss you and it hurts.
“I’ll carry your bag to the garage for you.” He says closing your suitcase and picking it up.
“Thank you, Kö.”
The last time you two see each other you spend 20 minutes hugging, breathing each other in. Words hanging on the tips of both your tongues, yet no one brave enough to cross that line. Both of your hearts break as you know this could be your last time together. All you can do is hope that life brings you both back together.
The mission went on longer than expected. Two years and seven months, König has been counting the days; marking off the calendar waiting for the day you finally return. The only sign that you’re alive is the intel that KorTac occasionally gets from you, but it’s been three months since the last message. He is use to a life of solitude, but without you he feels a new level of loneliness.
He walks past your room every day before returning to his own. Your room remains vacant, everything left exactly how you left it. Every night he looks at a photo of you he has tucked under his pillow, gently kissing it hoping you’ll return to him soon.
It was another day of mundane tasks and paper work for König. He sat at his desk with your file pulled up on his screen, your photo attached. He marks off another day from the calendar, another day without you. Not even intel from you.
Around 12pm, König sits with his mask off, eating his lunch he packed for himself. He wonders where you are and if you’re safe. What if you’ve been captured and murdered or worse, fallen in love and decided to run off with the enemy. Being alone with his own thoughts is torture.
Just then there is a knock at his door. He rolls his eyes and lets out a sigh. He was in the middle of eating. Putting his sandwich down, he picks up a napkin and cleans his mouth before pulling his mask down over his face. Again, a knock.
“Alright, come in.” König says as he straightens himself out. He minimizes your file that he has still pulled up on the computer screen.
The door opens and closes, he looks up to see…you.
König’s jaw drops and he just sits there staring at you for a while, as if he can’t believe that you’re real and standing in front of him. You look just as beautiful as you did the day you left. Nothing has changed other than your hair being longer now, and it suits you.
You stand there quietly waiting for him to say something, do something. He just sits there looking at you in complete shock.
“Hey Kö,” you break the silence as you take a few steps closer.
Hearing the nickname, Kö, makes his heart flutter; only you and his mother have ever called him that. You’re really here. He isn’t hallucinating. It’s you. Quickly he stands to his feet and walks towards you, pulling you into a tight embrace. He takes a deep breath, breathing you in. He’s missed your scent so much these last few years, he had forgotten what you even smelled like. Forgotten just how perfect your warmth feels against his body.
Your arms quickly wrap around him, you’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long. Being away from König was harder than you thought it would be. Especially for almost three years, you weren’t sure if you’d be returning to the same man. Yet here he was. Your König. He waited for you.
König pulls away from the hug and moves his hands to grasp you face and turn your face so you can look into his eyes. His eyes glossy, tears threatening to fall. He doesn’t speak as he just looks at your face, taking in your beauty. He hasn’t seen you in the flesh for so long, it’s like he is seeing you again for the first time. His beautiful love.
Without thinking, König pulls his mask off; revealing his face to you for the first time ever. He leans down and gently presses his lips against yours; slowly out of fear of rejection, yet once your lips touch, you don’t pull back or turn away. You kiss back with even more passion, making König melt inside. He grips your face a little tighter as he begins to kiss you harder, matching your passion.
Breaking away, he rests his head on yours, tears now falling down both of your faces.
“I was scared I would never see you again.” His voice breaks as he speaks to you.
“I know,” your breathing shutters.
He pulls away slightly as you look up at his face. You take in all of his features that have been hidden all these years of friendship. He’s…beautiful. You’ve thought of what he might be hiding all this time, it’s just scars. They only add to how attractive you see him.
“Kö, I’m in love with you.” The words flow out of your mouth as if it’s word vomit.
Your heart begins to pick up and you swallow hard, waiting for his response. Your hand reaching out to wipe tears away from his eyes as they fall.
“I’m in love with you too, y/n. I always have been.” His voice cracks.
He leans down and his lips meet yours again, his tongue licking your lips as they part to accept him. He lets out a soft moan as he tastes you for the first time. He’s wanted this for a long time, since the day you stayed behind with him after a failed mission. That was the day he fell in love with you.
His hands drop down to your waist as he begins to push up the hem of your shirt, his warm hands caressing your soft skin. You don’t stop him; your body has always craved him. You’re his now, in this moment, and forever. Slowly pulling away from your lips, his eyes drop down your body.
“Is this okay?” He seeks you consent before continuing. His hands continue to caress your waist, moving up slowly.
You nod your head, closing your eyes as his lips come back to meet yours. You continue to make out as his hands move up your body. He begins to pull you shirt up, breaking the kiss to take your shirt fully off. He looks down at your breasts cupped in your bra. He brings you closer to him as he can wrap his arms around you and unhook your bra. You let the bra drop from your body.
König quickly drops to his knees, his lips finding your breasts and kissing all over, his lips grazing over your nipples giving you chills. His hands fumble with the button of your pants as he undoes it. Pulling down your zipper, he looks up at you. His hands wrap around the top of your pants and pull them down with your underwear.
His eyes look at the soft bush between your legs before he kisses your stomach and hips. You lean back against the wall and he lifts one of your legs over his shoulder. Slowly he kisses down your thigh that’s resting on him. He finally begins to kiss the soft hair covering your sacred area. He takes a deep breath, taking in your scent completely. He has always wanted to be graced with the privilege of giving you pleasure, and here he is finally.
He sticks his tongue out and licks from the bottom to the top, his tongue making small circles over your clit. He can’t believe just how sweet you taste. The small moans leaving your lips mixed with the smell of your arousal making his cock rock hard in his cargos. He begins to suck lightly on your clit, flicking his tongue over it as he does. Your legs begin to tremble and jerk.
You look down at him as he eats you out, your fingers gently combing through his blonde hair. You could have never imagined that he would be this good as he begins to focus in on your clit. Legs shaking you moan out, calling his name. You feel a rush, a build up of pleasure.
Knowing that you’re about to cum, König keeps his rhythm. You push his face into your cunt, forcing him to only breathe in your sweet natural musk. His face covered in your arousal; he can’t take it anymore.
He moves your leg off of him gently as he stands up. He begins to quickly undo his belt and take his pants off. He pulls his shirt off, revealing his Greek god like body to you. You just look at him, in awe. The same way he looks at you.
You both stand there looking at each other’s bare bodies. König just can’t get enough of you. He walks closer to you and scoops you up in his arms. He walks to his desk chair with you. He sits slouched in the chair as you sit on his lap, your wet pussy rubbing against his erection. You lean in and kiss his lips as he moans softly feeling a tease of what your warmth will be like.
With no regard for safe sex, you lean forward, reaching down and grabbing his cock to guide it into your pussy. Once the tip squeezes in you both let out a harmonious moan. Your eyes studying his face as he is focused on watching you stretch around his cock.
Your hands on his shoulders for balance, you continue to sit down until König bottoms out inside of you. His hands squeezing the supple flesh of your thighs as he submits to you and lets you take control of your shared pleasure. Your tight cunt squeezing around him, breasts bouncing in his face as you move over him. His muscles flex as he assists you in your movements.
“Oh Scheiße, Maus. You feel so fucking good.” He moans out as his head falls back against the back of the chair; eyes closed. He has never felt this level of pleasure before with another partner. The sound of your wet cunt filling the space between your shared moans and panting.
“Kö,” you whimper out as your hands move to his chest, fingers digging deeply into his skin.
König opens his eyes and looks down at your cunt eagerly trying to milk him. A creamy white ring circling the base of his cock, and he can smell the sex in the air. He can’t hold on anymore. He wraps his arms around your abdomen and holds you close to him while he begins to quickly thrust up into you, his balls slapping against your ass. You begin to moan out loudly, definitely loud enough to be heard from the hallway, but he couldn’t care less.
“I-I’m going to- ah,” König couldn’t even speak as he begins to sweat from his rapid movements. His hands grasping your ass as he begins to roughly push you down on his cock. You can feel him throbbing deep inside of you as he cums. His cheeks turning slightly red from embracement of not lasting longer.
Your lips meet his with desperation as you both kiss. His hands still gripping you tightly as you rest on him, as if you might leave again if he lets go. Breaking the kiss you both look into each other’s eyes. One of his hands leaving your body and moving up to caress your face gently.
“Are you mine?” König sounding so submissive and gentle, a side no one ever sees of him.
“Of course.”
#konig#konig x y/n#konig cod#konig x reader#könig#könig x reader#konig smut#könig smut#könig cod#könig mw2#konig x reader smut#cod konig#könig call of duty#könig x reader smut#könig x y/n#könig x you#smut
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Imma do this final vent and then I’ll shut up about it.
This was a dumb move, from every possible perspective.
In the og goodbye video, they really made it sound like they were doing the streaming service because they wanted to go bigger, make cooler videos, really see what they could do and let their creative vision take the lead.
Growing as an artist is what you do when you Already Have The Money To Do So. You don’t tell your audience “give me money and then I will use to it to make cooler bigger things”. That’s not a streaming service, that’s a kickstarter.
They didn’t have the numbers to pull a streaming service off either. “We think we’re ready for television quality content” no you don’t. Sorry, no you do not. Television quality content means 30-50 crew per project, means at least 4-5 production being worked on at the same time, and at least 4-5 productions being broadcast at the same time. Watcher has maybe 2 series they upload simultaneously and they have 25 employees TOTAL. Not even CLOSE to tv levels of content, who the fuck do you think you are???
Did they really think all 3 million of their subscribers were going to follow them on this? Including kids, whose spending is dependent on their parents? Including the casuals, who only subscribed for the occasional video? Including people for whom $6 dollars on another streaming service just isn’t an option? Why DIDN’T they poll this, was this being a surprise really that important??
AND why would you completely cut off another revenue? Even if YouTube is restrictive, it’s still another source of income. Cutting that off completely is… bold.
Especially since in the apology, they let it slip that no, actually, it’s because Watcher is on the brink of having to close up shop because they’re not making enough money with just the patreon, the merch sales, the ad reads, etc.
So… one of those is a lie. Or at least part of the truth.
But let’s assume they are in financial trouble, then this was still the dumbest they could’ve done.
Welcome to the entertainment industry where we follow 1 giant fucking rule: Kill Your Darlings.
Fellas, pals, amigos, bros, dudes. If your projects spend more than what they make, it’s time to downsize. Not upscale. Cut the shit that’s spending the most money, start concentrating on how you can conserve without having to fire your crew. Put the projects where you have to fly out and buy new stuff all the time on the back burner, you can get back to them once you actually have the money for them. Work with what you already have. You have a MASSIVE studio space, fuckin use it. You HAVE sets, you HAVE props, you HAVE talent and you have ideas.
Start workshopping all the crazy and shit ideas you thought weren’t gonna work and start thinking how you could make them work with the lowest possible budget you can have. Your audience is there, they’ll watch whatever you throw at them. Now is the time to go crazy and see what sticks. You HAVE viewership.
Collab. CONSTANTLY. Get it the fuck out there that you exist. A lot of people had no idea a patreon existed, mention it ALL THE TIME. To the point that it becomes annoying. Do it!
If your studio is becoming too expensive, get rid of it. Sorry, kill your darlings. Move some shit around in Steven Lim’s tesla garage, put up some green screens, this is where you work now until you can afford a studio in LA again, you dipshits. Editors can work from home, sound designers can work from home, writers and researchers can work from home, meetings can happen in someone’s kitchen or living room.
And finally: be transparent. Be honest to your audience and communicate. “We’re sorry to put Ghost Files on hiatus, however we can no longer justify the cost of traveling to locations.” The majority of your audience will understand and show patience. The part of your audience that matters will wait and enjoy your other wacky shit in the meantime. Hell, they might spontaneously start their own kickstarter because those who can, will want to support you financially, if you’re just hONEST WITH THEM.
As a business, you constantly have to choose between your financial stability and that of your employees, your vision and the future of your company and what you Want to do with it, and your integrity, the trust between you and your audience. (Especially that last one, businesses can’t pretend they don’t have a relationship with their audience, that’s not how business works, guys.)
When you’re in financial straits, one of those has to go. Watcher chose the latter, they should’ve picked the middle. Their grand television quality ideas can fucking wait, if money is a problem.
Look, I’m an artist too. I had a vision too. But it was either my creative vision or being able to afford food and rent. Creativity can wait, creativity will always be there once I can support it. Living comes ALWAYS first. Asking my audience to fund my huge artistic dreams though, with only the promise of something cool, NEVER even crossed my fucking mind. That’s what donations are for, that’s what the patreon is for.
They apologised. And good. But this was a dumb decision from the goddamn start. There were like 500 steps in between and they skipped all of it. And for what? For money? For grand ideas? For greed or for hubris? How many of their original subscribers are actually gonna come back? How much money did they lose with this stunt? If they really are in financial trouble, this MASSIVE risk -which is what it has always been- might just be their downfall. And it’d be 100% their own fucking fault.
#Watcher#Ok that’s ACTUALLY the last time i talk about this i need to move on#I dunno why this played in my mind so much#No i do know: it was boredom#But even as an outsider to whole streaming service just Felt Gross#And as someone who’s worked in the entertainment industry… i just.. SAW all the red flags#And it’s BAFFLING none of the so-called professionals at watcher entertainment stopped this#Or maybe that’s the hubris of the ceo’s talking who tf knows at this point#Anyway all of this was playing in my mind and i had to type it out to get my brain to hopefully shut up#Imma pirate some fucking tv shows now#If paying for it isn’t owning it then pirating isn’t stealing#Long post#like LONG-ASS FUCKIN POST
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oh I AM WALKING
Like……i just. Hm. Okay. So like
Season 8: Buck is exploring and having fun with his newly discovered sexuality. With tommy or whoever. Doesnt matter. We see Eddie dealing with the layers and complexity of his catholic guilt. Him starting to truly discover what it actually is HE wants for himself versus what he think’s supposed to want.
Buck throughout the season, while dating, is having fun and he’s happy but he starts to feel like there is just still something missing but he doesn’t know what it is. We see the boys stories parallel in that way for most of the season. S8 finale. Big emergency cliffhanger. Trapped dads vibes okay. Perhaps feelings come out. Buck realizes “oh shit. Im in love with Eddie” and tries to tell Eddie but then something bad happens. Bam! End of season.
Season 9: buck is reeling from this realization but like. They almost died so all emotions are on 10. They are in the hospital talking about everything but the elephant in the room. They talk about the will and what it means. Its heavy. Eddie telling Buck again that there is no one else for his son. No one else for HIM. “Its only ever been you Buck” and they are just sitting in this moment with so many words left unsaid. Both of them scared of the magnitude of their feelings.
The season continues as both of the boys try and navigate through what it means to be in love with your best friend. Eddie possibly working through having feelings for a man. Buck scared of losing what they have but also knowing that Eddie is it for him. Maybe mid season, they finally sit down and talk. Buck tells Eddie in so many words: I want you. I want this life we have made together with Chris. I love you. Eddie feels the same way. they both agree: we need to be sure, because once we go there, there is no going back. This could be a great thing for both of them but they have to be ready for it.
Now as 9B goes on, we see flirty Buddie. We see them basically together but not together ya know? They are happy taking their time cause they know the wait will be worth it. Now of course cause this is a primetime drama, some very traumatic/ dramatic will happen in the season finale. Now while nothing happens to the boys physically, whatever big ugly thing that happened, they just want to be with each other afterwards. They are each other’s home. We get a scene in the finale of them at Eddie’s house, on the couch. Eddie basically says that he doesn’t know if he will ever be 100% ready (more to do with his feelings about his own shortcomings) but that he is 100% sure about them. About Buck. He says I love you. Buck says it back. Then Buck proceeds to give his own love declaration. All these beautiful words about how Eddie has been what he has been looking for all this time. That this life is short (they understand that better than most) and he wants to spend whatever time he has left with Eddie and Chris. Cue first kiss. Cue thousands of fan girls dying. End season.
Season 10: now that they are together i feel like the lead up to an engagement could be fun. They are all happy and in love and they are sappy and Chris is making fun of them. Maybe on a call, or somewhere else Buck introduces Eddie as his fiancé and Eddie is like ????? And we get some fun spiraling. Eddie talks to Hen or something. “I would know if I was proposed to right? I mean we’ve only been together a few months???” And Hen is just like “yall have been Buck and Eddie for much longer than that” so that leads to Eddie asking Buck about it. Buck is like yea I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you remember??? And Eddie is like that isn’t a proposal! A proposal usually includes a question like WILL YOU MARRY ME? Again. We’re having fun with this. So Buck is all like okay. Eddie, will you marry me? eddie thinks he’s joking but he’s not. The moment goes from light and fun to intimate and emotional. We get some more “you’re it for me. I love you” Buck is choosing Eddie. Eddie is being chosen. Eddie is choosing to be happy for himself. Eddie says yes. BAM! LET THE WEDDING PLANNING COMMENCE.
(Now obviously this is just idiots ramblings. These are bones and they story would need meat and muscles to become fully fleshed out but. I just. Ya know. Had feelings)
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Your type.
Pairings: Casey Novak x Alex Cabot.
Summary: Alexandra Cabot was known as the top of her class and the good girl of Law School. Casey Novak was known as the famous softball player and the tomboy of Law School. Both meeting each other at a coffee shop, both in different stages of their lives. Would it work?
A/n: I needed to do some kind of college au for our babies. I thought it was cute, so here is my creation of it hahaha. I dunnp if it's any good or not, but I enjoyed writing this, it's been a while since I've done a college au, they used to be my favorites before haha. Hope you guys enjoy this, leave comments, hearts, whatever you like and reblog so this gets some love🫶🏻
*not my gif*
Alexandra Cabot was top of her class. Many selfish and jealous people thought that she was the best just because she was a known person because of her last name. But the truth was that Alex was dedicated to school, she had always been, since she can remember; she spent her free days with books, she loved them. It wasn’t entirely a lie that her family had influenced her in getting into law school, but she was happy with her decision, and she was going to do anything to get to her goals, meaning, she wouldn’t let anything distract her from getting what she wanted. She was probably the only person in her class that didn’t go to parties or gatherings with her classmates, she didn’t go to the games the school held, she just focused on her studies. Did she regret it? Maybe. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to have a social life, she had her friend, but she knew that university was not about parties.
For two whole years it stayed that way, nothing had changed her mind, and she was still very much focused on her studies; that was until her eyes landed on a redhead. One of her classes had gotten canceled, meaning she had 2 hrs free to do whatever she wanted; so she decided to finish homework she had. She had thought about going to the library, but she decided she’d go for a coffee near her building, and she’d spend the two hours there. This was a coffee shop that she normally visited every now and then when she wanted to be at the library, the coffee, and the food in there was really good, and the environment was actually calm, and it helped her concentrate on the things she had to do. But as she sat down in her usual spot and looked around, she noticed a redhead taking an order. She had never seen her here, clearly, because she’d remember that beautiful smile. For a moment she was too stunned by how beautiful she was, she had stared way too longer that she didn’t notice her friend sitting right in front of her.
“Alex?”
Alex snapped out of her thoughts and stared at her friend. “H-Hi! Sorry. I uh…when did you get here?”
Erin chuckled. “I’ve been here for like 3 minutes. How long have you been staring at the redhead?” She grinned as she got her notebook and book out of her bag.
“I- what do you mean?” Alex chuckled nervously. “I was not staring at anyone, just…a bit lost. Thinking what I’m ordering.”
“Uhuh…as if you never order the same, Cabot.” Erin chuckled. “But okay, I’ll believe you. What are you ordering?” She raised her brow.
Alex sighed as she grinned. “Black coffee and a chocolate croissant.”
Erin laughed. “See? Why is it wrong that I caught you staring at the redhead? She’s really pretty.”
Alex shrugged. “I have never seen her here before.”
“She hasn’t been here for long. I saw her the day I came to buy us coffee. I think I heard she’s a law student too.”
Alex raised her brow. “Law student?” She nodded. “I can actually see that.” She said almost in a whisper as she got her things out.
“Alexandra Cabot is getting interested in someone after two years.” Erin smirked.
Alex looked up and shook her head rapidly. “I- Erin no! I just- I was-“
“Hi ladies! My name is Casey, can I offer you anything to drink or eat?” Casey smiled at both of them and then her eyes landed on Alex’s.
Alex cleared her throat as she looked up at Casey, trying to talk but all of a sudden, she forgot how to do that. Erin wanted to laugh but cleared her throat too, getting Casey’s attention. “I’ll get an iced latte with sugar please. And to eat, I’ll just get a muffin.” She then looked at Alex. “Alex? What are you ordering?”
“I- uh…black coffee and a croissant, please.” Alex offered a shy smile.
Casey grinned as she nodded. “Comin’ right up.” She then walked away, but not before she turned to look at Alex again, offering a smile.
Erin laughed and threw her head back. “Oh my, I never thought I’d live to see the day of seeing Alexandra Cabot getting nervous for someone! So.” She looked back at Alex. “Is your type redheads?”
“Jesus, Erin, drop it.” Alex sighed as she covered her face, blushing. “Let’s just-“ she sighed as she looked back at Erin. “Let’s get this done, we have class, and we need to hurry.”
“Avoiding. It is true that you always learn something new from people.” Erin chuckled teasingly as she opened her book.
Alex bit her lip as she looked at Erin for a moment, and then she turned her head to look at Casey. She had come out to Erin just a year ago, admitting that she had always been attracted to girls, but she never said a thing because she didn’t think it was relevant, but when Erin asked if she wanted to go on a double date with some guys, Alex thought it would be good to let Erin know that she was not into guys. She was relieved when Erin accepted her and never judged her, it was the other way around, actually, she was pretty much trying to get a date for Alex in every possible chance, but Alex refused reminding her that she only cared about school and not some dumb romance in university. But now…she had to admit that maybe a little crush on someone wouldn’t hurt. She didn’t actually have a type, she didn’t know if she did. But until now, all she knew, is that Casey could be her type.
********************
Alex sighed as she tried to keep her mind concentrated in the book she had in front of her, she was studying for finals and Erin was supposed to meet her at the coffee shop so they could study together, but at the end plans had changed and now Alex sat at her same spot, trying to focus on her book and hoping to not get distracted with the redhead. She didn’t even know if she worked that day, but the last time she had been going to the coffee shop, Casey was right there, and even if there was someone else taking orders, Casey was always the one that took their order. What Alex had been trying to avoid had happened; she had accepted to herself that she had a crush on Casey. She had been trying to avoid it, she had been trying to not think about her, but it was impossible after learning that she was also a law student, she was in her first year, so it’s not like they’d ever have same classes, but she had caught her in the hallways every now and then.
How did she know about this? Because of course Erin was encouraging her crush. She teased her every possible chance she had. She had also found out that Casey was in the softball team of the university, and it honestly made sense with how beautiful her body was. Alex tried hard to not think about Casey and about the new information that Erin had provided her, but in the last 4 months, it was kind of impossible not to think about Casey. That smile, those eyes, that voice. Alex was now lost, and she knew it. There was no turning back from this, unless of course, she tried to get over it or she found out that Casey had a boyfriend or something, which could break her heart…break her heart was probably too much. But she would feel sad? She was confused to say the least. It was just a stupid crush. That was it. A crush.
“Alex!”
Alex looked up from her book and her heart stopped for a moment as she stared at Casey, who was smiling at her. “Casey…hi.”
“You remember my name!” Casey chuckled softly.
How could I not remember it? “Yes, I do.” Alex chuckled. “You’re not working today?”
“Oh, I worked earlier. But I have finals, so they let me leave early. I actually just finished my shift and was going to stay around to study.” Casey smiled as she looked at Alex’s book. “I take it that you’re also studying.”
Alex looked down at her book and smiled. “Yes…I uh…I am.” She looked back at Casey. “I’m just reading again, I already studied.” She chuckled nervously.
“Well, I’ve heard that you’re top of your class, so I believe you’re more than ready for any exam.” Casey grinned.
“You’ve…heard about me.” Alex frowned as she smiled.
“A little, yes.” Casey smiled. “I’m sorry I don’t wanna take your time. I- oh! I brought you this.” Casey placed a coffee and a small bag beside it. “Some encouragement to study.” She grinned.
Alex looked at the coffee and the small bag and smiled. “Is that…”
“Black coffee and a chocolate croissant. You always order the same.” Casey smiled. “I’ll see you around?”
Alex nodded. “Hey…do you…maybe want some help with studying? You can sit with me if you want to.”
Casey smiled. “Really?”
Alex nodded again. “Sure.”
“I’d actually appreciate that.” Casey smiled as she placed her backpack on the floor and sat down in front of Alex.
Alex knew that this wouldn’t really help her crush, but at this point, who really cared about it? She was going down, bad, and she knew it. Casey had heard about her, she knew her name, she had even learned her order. And the funny thing was that the very first time she met Casey, she had brought her a plain croissant because Alex had not mentioned she wanted a chocolate one, but suddenly Casey started bringing her the right order, and now she learned it, and even if it seemed nothing, it was everything to Alex. But then her mind started playing tricks on her. Why would someone like Casey want to be with Alex? Even hang out with her? It was surprising enough that Erin was her friend, they were totally different but similar at the same time, but they were able to build a close friendship. But Casey, she was younger by two years, but why would she find any interest in Alex? She was probably just being friendly, maybe she just wanted to know people who were older to have some sort of help in school, but the reality was that Alex didn’t care. The thought of helping Casey and being able to spend time with her made her feel good. This was so wrong, but she didn’t care.
********************
“Where are we going?” Alex asked as she sighed, crossing her arms as she waited for Erin.
Erin smiled as she walked to Alex, closing her closet. “We’re going to a softball game.”
Alex frowned. “We never go to those, Erin.”
“Now we are.” Erin grinned as she handed Alex a shirt with the softball team logo.
Alex stared at it and then realized what Erin was doing. “Erin.” She looked up at her. “No.
“Alex. Yes.” Erin smirked as she threw Alex the shirt. “C’mon, we’re gonna be late.”
“You made me come all the way here so you can embarrass me and take me to a game. Casey’s game.” Alex grabbed the shirt from her shoulder, looking down at it.
“It’s just a game! You get to see Casey play. You’re gonna tell me you don’t wanna see her.” Erin smirked as she turned to grab the rest of her stuff.
Alex sighed as she took off her hoodie and put the shirt on. “You’re gonna pay for this.”
Erin laughed. “You’re gonna tell me you haven’t been spending more time at the coffee shop.” She turned to look at Alex. “Oh, wait. With Casey, actually.”
Alex frowned. “I…haven’t.”
“Oh, yes you have. I saw you two days in a row, sitting with her.”
“I was helping her study!”
“So you introduced yourself?” Erin raised her brows.
Alex cleared her throat as she looked down at her hoodie. “She heard about me and knew my name…” she whispered softly as she looked up at Erin.
Erin smirked. “Oh, someone’s got a crush on you.”
Alex rolled her eyes. “Can’t we just go? Please.”
Erin chuckled. “Fine, let’s go.”
As they got to the field, Erin tried to get them to good stands so they could get a perfect look of the game. Erin went crazy buying food and snacks, but Alex was truly nervous that she’d be seeing Casey playing. In one of their meetings, Casey had talked about her playing softball and the training she had, which meant that she barely had any time to do anything at all, between school, work and practice, her days were pretty busy. So the fact that she had stayed hours with Alex meant everything to her, even if they had been mostly studying the whole time. Alex looked around as she sat down, her eyes suddenly landing on the redhead who was stretching. Her breath hitched as she noticed the tight uniform and how it hugged her body perfectly; she wanted to give herself a slap as she was focusing on her body, which was definitely not right. Her eyes went back to Casey’s face, and to her luck, Casey was already staring at her, a smile on her face as she waved. Alex blushed slightly as she waved back, smiling back at her.
Eventually, the game finally started, everyone around them screaming and clapping for the team. She didn’t even know what was supposed to happen in the game, but she was willing to stay focused for Casey. Erin tried to instruct her what was happening, but even if she tried to listen to Erin, she really didn’t understand a thing. Finally, Casey put on her helmet and grabbed her bat, earning loud screams as she walked to her base. Alex’s eyes lit up as she looked at Casey, smiling as she positioned herself; she had seen some baseball games with her father before, and so far, she knew that Casey’s team was winning, and if she hit a…homerun? Something. They’d win the whole game. Or that’s what her mind made up. She couldn’t help but scream and stand up when Casey started running fast around all the bases, the whole crowd going insane screaming Casey’s name. Erin and Alex jumped and screamed together as Casey’s team surrounded to celebrate the win, everyone cheering for them and throwing food and water. Alex’s eyes focused on Casey for a moment, and her smile slowly faded as she noticed a girl hugging Casey and placing her hand on Casey’s cheek, leaning in to kiss her cheek. Alex cleared her throat and looked at Erin, offering a small smile as her heart sank.
Alex had asked Erin if they could already leave, not wanting to stay there anymore, even if it meant that they’d lose the celebration and the team. Erin had drunk a lot of soda and water, so Alex was waiting for her outside the restrooms, wrapping her hoodie around her waist and crossing her arms as she looked around. A bunch of people kept celebrating and screaming, running around, and jumping. Alex never understood sports, and she couldn’t believe that Erin had convinced her to come just to have her heart hurt at the sight of another girl kissing Casey. She sighed softly, rubbing her face, and groaning softly.
“Alex!”
Alex uncovered her face and her heart stopped for a second as she saw Casey running to her. “Hey.”
Casey smiled widely as she stood in front of Alex. “Hi. I’m so glad I caught you. I wanted to say hi since I saw you at the start of the game.”
Alex cleared her throat. “Oh. Uh. Well hi.” She smiled. “Congratulations, by the way. Good game.”
Casey chuckled as she looked at the ground for a moment. “Thanks.” She looked back at Alex. “I didn’t think Alex Cabot was a sports girl.”
Alex huffed a laugh. “I am not.” She shook her head. “But uh, my friend Erin, she dragged me here. I’m waiting for her so we can go.”
Casey nodded. “Oh, got it.” She smiled. “Hey, uh. So…later we’re throwing a small celebration party, since this was the last game of the season. I was wondering…if you wanted to come.”
Alex stared at Casey for a moment, thinking that maybe she had heard wrong. “Uh…a party?”
“Yes.” Casey smiled. “I mean I don’t normally go to these parties, but you know, we won, thought it could be fun for once. I don’t really have to work tomorrow so. And I was actually going to call you, you saved me a phone call.”
Alex smiled softly. “So…even if I didn’t come…you were going to invite me?”
Casey shrugged. “Why not?” She grinned.
Alex nodded. “I uh…well, I don’t normally go to any parties. I don’t…really get invited but uh-“
“We’re definitely going!” Erin said as she walked out of the restrooms, smiling at Alex and then at Casey. “That’s if I’m invited too? If not, I’ll drop of Alex.” She grinned.
“Of course! I mean, the team is inviting a lot of people so.” Casey chuckled. “So, yes?”
Alex looked back at Erin and then at Casey, smiling as she nodded. “Sure. Where?”
Casey’s smile widened. “Uh…Tina’s house. Back Bay area, there’s going to be a big sign outside the building, so you won’t miss it. I can call you later and tell you the right address.”
“Sounds good.” Alex smiled.
Casey nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you then. Bye Erin.” She smiled before she walked away.
Erin’s mouth opened in surprise as she turned to look at Alex. “Alexandra Cabot going to her very first university party! Oh my! We gotta find you a perfect dress!”
Alex rolled her eyes as she sighed, turning to look at Erin. “Don’t get too excited, Er. I think I saw a girl kissing Casey’s cheek.” She started to walk, trying to hide the excitement she felt.
Erin frowned. “Oh, c’mon, Alex.” She followed her. “That doesn’t mean anything! I kiss you on the cheek too, doesn’t mean we’re dating.”
“I know but…” Alex scoffed. “Why would Casey Novak be interested in someone like me? Like seriously. I’m older than her, I’m…literally a nerd.”
Erin raised her brow. “You do realize that it’s obvious that younger people are fascinated by people of our ages. Plus, it’s two years. And!” She jumped in front of Alex to stop her. “You’re not the only nerd. Casey is top of her class.” She grinned.
Alex frowned. “What?”
“Uhuh. Laura was telling me the other day. We go to the same hair salon, and she was talking about how Casey was the smartass in their class. So her asking you to help her study? Yeah, that was definitely just to spend time with you, Cabot.” Erin smirked.
Alex shook her head as she tried to hide her smile. “Okay…even if she wanted that. I still don’t think she’d be interested in me.” She shrugged. “So…this. The party? It’s just a party and that’s it.”
Erin rolled her eyes. “If you say so. But. We’re still gonna dress you nicely. Comfortable. But nicely. If Novak doesn’t lay eyes on you tonight, we’re getting you someone else. Maybe we can get another redhead.” She smirked.
“Fine.” Alex grinned as she rolled her eyes.
********************
“You’re not gonna leave me alone, are you?” Alex asked as they walked to the house, looking at Erin.
Erin looked back at Alex and smiled. “I believe you’ll leave me at some point. But no, and if you want to go, we can go. Promise I won’t drink much.” She chuckled.
Alex sighed as she nodded. They walked inside the house and Alex was pretty surprised to find a big crowd, the music was a bit loud and there was barely any lights. Erin took her hand so they wouldn’t get lost in the crowd, trying to get to the middle of the house or somewhere where they could actually move and hear each other. They finally got to what seemed to be the living room, people were dancing and drinking, some were playing with the cups, some were making out. So this is what a university party was like, Alex was really not missing anything, this was just a mess and they seemed horny teenagers. In every single part, there were about 2 or 3 couples just making out. She thought that she only saw this in movies but no, it was pretty much real, and she was sure more people were upstairs, and she did not want to figure out what they were doing up there.
As she looked around the room, she saw Casey’s team gathered around in a corner, laughing and with drinks in their hands, and then there was Casey right in the middle. She smiled softly but then her smile fainted again as she saw the girl from earlier right beside Casey, her arm wrapped around her shoulder. Alex knew she had no point in getting jealous, but she was. But then Casey’s eyes landed on her, and Alex swore her smile widened as she saw Alex; she didn’t know if she had imagined it or not, but Casey’s eyes traveled down her body, and she nibbled on her lip as she started walking to Alex; she was thankful that she had let Erin dress her, Alex normally liked wearing nice clothes, but the skirt and the blouse along with the long boots that Erin had picked for her, were showing a little too much, but if that was getting Casey’s attention, then she didn’t mind one bit.
Her breath hitched as Casey got closer to her, her eyes also traveling down Casey’s body; Erin had joked before about Alex being into girls that didn’t exactly dressed girly, she had now seen Casey wearing her softball uniform, she had seen her wearing a skirt with a blazer for a presentation, her work uniform, and casual Casey. Party Casey looked like those girls from movies who were the ones that ruled over people, with a leather jacket, jeans and boots, and Alex couldn’t skip the shirt she was wearing, that showed Casey’s cleavage.
“I thought I’d have to call you to make sure you were coming.” Casey grinned as she stood in front of Alex. “You look nice.” She whispered softly but enough for Alex to hear her.
Alex chuckled nervously as she blushed. “You look nice too.”
Erin cleared her throat as she smiled at both women. “I’ll see myself out for a bit.” She grinned as she walked away, going to Casey’s friends.
Casey chuckled. “Can I offer you a drink?”
“I uh…I actually don’t drink that much.” Alex bit her lip as she looked at Casey.
“Oh, such a good girl, Cabot.” She grinned. “They have nonalcoholic drinks too. We can go to the kitchen to check.” Before Alex could answer, she grabbed her hand and pulled her to the kitchen, walking through the crowd.
Alex tried to stay as calm as possible, and then thought that a drink wouldn’t hurt, it could actually help her calm her nerves. Once they got to the kitchen, she stood close to Casey and smiled. “Actually, a drink wouldn’t hurt.”
Casey turned to look at Alex and smiled. “I can mix some vodka with soda or juice so it’s not too strong.”
“Whatever you drinking.” Alex grinned.
Casey couldn’t help but stare into her eyes, grinning softly. “You look beautiful with or without glasses, you know?”
Alex’s breath hitched again as she stared into green eyes. “Your eyes are beautiful.” She smiled.
Casey bit her lip as she smiled. “Thanks.” She then cleared her throat as she grabbed the drinks she was going to mix and two cups.
Alex looked around trying not to stare too much at Casey, and noticed Erin staring at her, a smirk on her face. She shook her head, a quiet laugh leaving her lips. She returned her stare to Casey once she saw her raising the cup and handing it to her. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” Casey smiled as she grabbed her own drink and took a sip of it. “So, is this really your first party?” She leaned over the counter.
“You said it, I’m a good girl.” Alex smirked as she huffed a chuckle. “I uh…I focus a lot on school. I rather keep myself busy with studying or with books.” She shrugged. “I don’t know…I was just never an extrovert.”
Casey nodded. “I get that. I mean…these parties can get pretty crazy.” She chuckled. “I normally don’t come to these, and if I do, I literally leave early.”
Alex tilted her head. “I thought you were one of those athletic girls that liked to party and be a heartbreaker.” She grinned. “But I heard you’re also sort of a nerd.”
Casey blushed slightly as she looked at Alex. “I uh…I mean…yes, I just.” She huffed a chuckle. “Who told you?”
“Oh, a little bird.” Alex smirked. “So, you asking me for help…?” She raised her brow.
Casey shrugged. “Maybe I just…wanted to have an excuse to talk to you.” She grinned as she tilted her head, green eyes never leaving blue ones.
Alex knew she was probably blushing, but she couldn’t look away from Casey, she could stare at her for as long as she possibly could. “Nice excuse.” She simply said.
They stayed in the kitchen for a little longer than they expected, finding that it was the most quiet place in the whole house, and they just wanted to talk. They were talking about everything but nothing specific at the same time, just making each other smile and laugh. Even if Alex hated the fact that there were a lot of people surrounding them, she loved that she was with Casey, and that she was actually willing to stay with her. But then there was a moment where they literally dragged Casey away from Alex, and Casey made sure to tell her that she’d be back with her as soon as possible. Alex just watched her being dragged away and back into the living room, leaving her a bit sad but also understood that this was a party for them after all. Her eyes finally landed on Erin who was already walking to her, a smirk plastered on her face.
“I see you’re having a good conversation with Novak. Guess we won’t have to find you anyone else.” Erin smirked.
Alex rolled her eyes playfully. “We’re just talking, Er. Nothing more.”
“You’re seriously still in denial that she’s interested in you.” Erin chuckled. “You’re literally perfect, Alex. You’re top of your class, you’re beautiful, you’re nice. Damn, you’re a good girl, anyone would want to have you.”
Alex chuckled as she took a sip of her drink, trying to hide her smile behind her cup. “She did mention that.”
Erin raised her brow. “That you’re a good girl?” Alex nodded. “She does not lose time.” She chuckled softly.
“Well, I think I lost her for tonight. So, whatever was happening between us, is over.”
“Don’t lose hope, Cabot. She could come back any time soon. They’re just doing the typical winning ritual.”
Alex frowned as she looked back at Erin. “Ritual?”
“They take shots, depending on the score they made.”
Alex raised her brows. “Is that even safe?”
Erin shrugged. “Not sure, but don’t be too surprised if your little redhead comes back all drunk.” She chuckled as she took a sip of her drink.
Alex sighed. “I guess.”
“Everybody!” Tina got up on the table in the living room, getting everyone’s attention as they turned the music down. “Those who want to play the bottle, gather around! We got drinks and dares!”
Erin turned to look at Alex. “Let’s go play.”
Alex frowned. “No way. I don’t want to have the bad luck of having to kiss some drunk person.”
“And what if that drunk person turns out to be Casey?” Erin smirked as she grabbed Alex’s hand and pulled her to the living room. “Count us in!”
Alex sat beside Erin and sighed as she looked at the people that gathered around. She was sure that these people were either the ones that were way too drunk, or were somewhere in the middle, and the rest just decided to ignore it or were too into their own things. Her eyes landed on Casey for a moment who was in front of her and laughing with Tina as the people started to play. The first few rounds were stupid things like ‘take off your shirt’ ‘drink two shots’ ‘kiss this person on the cheek’, making Alex realize that these people were a bunch of teenagers and couldn’t believe that most of them -if not all- were law students. She couldn’t help but laugh the moment the bottle landed in Erin, and it so happened that the other side landed on one of Casey’s friends, who dared her to go to a room with her. Alex’s eyes widened as Erin agreed, telling her that they had to loosen up, and then followed the girl. She was too distracted as she saw in surprised how they disappeared, but her attention was brough back when she heard yelling and clapping, her eyes landing in the bottle who was pointing at her, and the other end happened to be on Casey.
“Cabot and Novak!” Alex’s lips parted as she tried to say something, but right away Tina spoke up again. “Since Alex doesn’t know what to say, I dare you two to seven minutes in heaven!” Everyone started cheering on.
“What?” Alex simply said, her eyes landing on Casey who was already standing up, chuckling, and telling Tina something. She shook her head and walked to Alex, extending her hand to help her get up.
“C’mon.” Casey offered a sweet smile.
Alex gulped but grabbed Casey’s hand, standing up and following her upstairs. She could hear everyone yelling and clapping, some of them screaming both Alex and Casey’s names as they went up the stairs. Before she knew it, she was being pulled into a room, and as she looked around, she was sure that this was Tina’s room. She cleared her throat as she turned to look at Casey who was closing and locking the door, leaning her back on it as she looked at Alex, smiling softly.
“Casey…”
“We don’t have to do anything.” Casey smiled.
“Are you- seriously?”
Casey chuckled. “Seriously. I sat down there for Tina, it’s just a stupid game.” She shook her head. “And…I hate having to force people into doing something they don’t want to.”
Alex cleared her throat. “What can you get done in seven min, anyway?” She chuckled.
Casey shrugged as she laughed. “I’ve never been in this situation. But I do know you can do something. Make out maybe.”
Alex stared at her for a moment, biting her lip softly. “And would you?”
Casey frowned. “Would I what?”
“Want to make out with me.” Alex snapped.
Casey wetted her lips, her lip lingering between her teeth as she stared at Alex. “I might be a little drunk but…definitely.” She walked to Alex slowly, stopping just in front of her. “Would you?” She whispered softly.
Alex’s breath hitched as she stared up at Casey. She knew she was tall, and probably the boots that Casey was wearing made her a little taller, and she herself was tall, but she loved the fact that she had to look up at Casey. She bit her lip for a moment as she thought about her answer; she knew she had to think fast, the seven minutes could end any time soon. She nodded softly as grinned, and suddenly Casey’s hands were on her waist, and she leaned down to close the gap between them. Alex’s hand went to Casey’s neck to pull her impossibly closer to her, their lips moving against each other’s just perfectly.
Before her mind could register what was happening, Casey was pulling her to her and turned her around to press Alex against the door, Alex moaning against Casey’s mouth which gave Casey’s tongue access to dive in. Alex’s hand got lost in Casey’s short her, pulling her impossibly closer. Casey’s hands rubbed Alex’s sides, accidentally making Alex’s blouse rise up and she took the chance to make contact with Alex’s skin. They finally broke from the kiss, both panted heavily, but as Alex opened her eyes to look at Casey, Casey’s lips landed on her jawline, throwing her head back against the door as a quiet moan left her lips. Casey trailed kisses down Alex’s jawline to her neck, kissing and nibbling softly, she then looked up again to kiss Alex again, and just as her hand traveled down Alex’s hip, a loud knock on the door made them part away from each other.
“Seven minutes are over guys! Get your clothes on!”
Alex panted heavily as she looked at the door for a moment and then her eyes returned to Casey. She couldn’t help but chuckle at herself as she figured she was now part of those horny teenagers she was judging when she got to the party. Casey ran her hand through her hair as she grinned, looking down at the floor as she tried to hide the redness on her cheeks.
“We should uh-“ Alex cleared her throat as she fixed her blouse. “We should probably…”
Casey nodded. “Yes.” She chuckled as she looked up at Alex. “We should go back.”
Alex nodded, offering a shy smile. As she turned to open the door, she felt Casey’s hand on her wrist, bringing her attention back to Casey. Casey’s hand went to Alex’s neck and pulled her close to her, kissing her lips slowly and tenderly, as if they had all the time in the world. Their lips once again met in a perfect rhythm, making Alex’s stomach turn in a good way. Casey then smiled against her lips, pecking them once more before she pulled away.
“Now we can leave.” Casey grinned.
Alex nodded. “Sure.” She breathed out as she smiled, accepting Casey’s hand in hers.
Alex felt everyone’s eyes on her as they walked down the stairs, but her eyes were only focused on Casey. Casey never let go of her hand, walking back to the kitchen, both quietly deciding that they didn’t want to be involved in the game anymore. Alex tried to find Erin for a moment before she brought her attention back to Casey, smiling softly.
“I’ll get you something to drink.” Casey smiled.
“Can I just get some water, please?” Alex smiled.
Casey nodded. “Sure. I need to sober up a little.” She chuckled as she kissed Alex’s hand before she went to find more cups.
Alex sighed happily as she watched Casey moving around the kitchen. The smile never leaving her smile as she leaned against the countertop, but her moment was interrupted as she felt a hand on her shoulder, making her turn thinking that it was maybe Erin. And then she frowned as she found the girl she had been previously jealous of right in front of her.
“Hi?” Alex offered a small smile.
“You really think you got Casey just because you got seven minutes in a room with her? You’re not Casey’s type. We know who you are, Cabot.”
Alex frowned as she shook her head. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re daddy’s girl. I’m sure you’re in school just because of your last name, and if you think you’re gonna get Casey, you’re very wrong. I might’ve let Casey have her fun tonight, but she’s normally always with me. Casey belongs to me.”
“I can definitely tell. Because she’s been with you the whole party, huh?” Alex raised her brow, giving her a defying stare as she crossed her arms.
The girl laughed as she shook her head. “Just because your friend dressed you up for tonight and you got read of your glasses, doesn’t mean you can take Casey. Didn’t you hear? She was supposed to get your attention, a bet was made.”
Alex frowned. “What?”
“Oh, you really think Casey was interested in you? Please. Look at you and look at her. Gotta say that you left it pretty easy for her to win the bet. So congrats to you too. Maybe if Casey chooses, she’ll give you half of the money, but you don’t need it, do you?” The girl smirked as she walked away.
Alex suddenly felt lightheaded as the words played in her mind over and over; she had to be lying. Casey wouldn’t do that. All this time, all those meetings they had, Casey inviting her here, being so sweet and kind even if she’s not fully sober. Did she really do this for a bet? Was she just being nice to win some money? She had to be joking, this was definitely a lie. But…it also made sense at the same time. The sudden interest in Alex, wanting her help to study even if she didn’t need it, her inviting her to the party, and coincidentally the bottle landing in them while she was distracted. They had planned this. She had fallen in Casey’s game. The thought made her feel sick to her stomach.
“Alex?” Casey placed her hand on Alex’s shoulder to get her attention. “You okay?”
Alex took a deep breath as she looked back at Casey, her eyes getting teary. “How much?”
Casey frowned. “What?”
“How much…was the bet?” Alex snapped, trying to hold back her tears as she stared at Casey.
Casey shook her head as she looked at Alex, confused. “I don’t…what bet?”
Alex scoffed. “I knew it was too good to be truth.” She grinned. “You, suddenly taking interest in someone like me. You also believe I’m nothing more than my name, right? Was it fun, Casey? To drag me into your stupid high school game so you could get some money?”
Casey placed the cups on the counter and looked back at Alex. “Alex, what are you talking about? I don’t think that. I-“
“Save it, Casey. I knew this was way too good to be truth. But don’t worry, the bet ended the moment you took me to the room, right? So whatever this was, ends here. I don’t wanna see you again.” Alex gave her a cold look before she walked away from Casey.
Casey frowned as she tried to follow Alex. “Alex! Wait!”
Just as Alex was walking to the door, she ran into Erin who was just coming down from the stairs, her laugh died the moment she saw the look on Alex’s face. “Alex?”
“Let’s go. P-Please.” Alex cried out.
Erin’s heart sank as she turned and saw Casey trying to get to them. “Let’s go.” She placed her hand on Alex’s back and they both walked out of the house as fast as they could. Leaving behind a confused Casey.
The whole ride back to Alex’s apartment was quiet, Alex staring at the window as she quietly cried, her arms wrapped around herself. Erin kept checking on her but decided to save her words, she knew Alex needed a moment to process whatever had happened back there. There had only been one time that she had seen Alex this way, and she thought she would never see her like this again, so it broke her heart. As they made their way to Alex’s apartment, Alex let out a heavy sigh and opened the door, letting Erin walk in first, followed by Alex. She closed the door behind her and leaned her head against it, her whole body shaking as she cried once again. Erin dropped her bag and walked to Alex, wrapping her in a tight hug as Alex sobbed, turning to vanish in her arms.
“Lex, what happened?” Erin whispered softly.
“I-“ Alex sobbed as she shook her head. “I was an idiot.”
Erin pulled away enough to look at Alex. “Did Casey did something to you?”
Alex looked at Erin at the mention of Casey, feeling her heart breaking even more. “I was a bet.”
Erin frowned. “What?”
“That bitch…the one I saw Casey with…she told me that there was a bet, and that’s why the sudden interest in me. I knew it was too good to be truth, Erin. I just knew it.” Alex cried out, covering her face.
Erin sighed loudly. “Lex, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. I let myself fall.” Alex sobbed as she shook her head. “Why did this happen?” She whispered softly.
“I don’t know.” Erin kissed her head softly as she wrapped her in another hug.
********************
Alex walked through the hallway to get to her classroom, feeling like everyone was staring at her and were laughing at her. She was sure that half of the school already knew what had happened back there, and it now made sense why all of them were cheering for them to go upstairs. They were cheering for Casey to win the fucking bet and she was so proud of it. She played it so well that she was so ashamed of herself for not seeing it, focusing on how sweet, kind, and beautiful she was, it never crossed her mind that she could do this to Alex. After all, her assumption of Casey wasn’t entirely wrong. She was indeed a heartbreaker. Her trance was interrupted as she ran into someone, almost losing her balance and making her books fall to the floor.
“I’m sorry!”
Alex knelt to pick them up but the person in front of her got them before her, making her look up to find Casey in front of her. “It’s fine.” She snapped as she stood up, followed by Casey.
Casey handed her the books and nibbled on her lip for a moment. “Alex…”
“Save it.” Alex snapped as she looked at Casey for a moment before she walked away.
Casey sighed loudly as she kept walking. This was truly a nightmare for her. The fact that Alex really had believed everything that Rachel had dared to say hurt her and made her a bit upset, but she understood where Alex was coming from. The moment she laid eyes on Alex, she knew she was completely fucked, not being able to take her eyes away until she realized she was being a creep. For months she just stared at Alex and tried her best to always be the one taking their order. She cursed herself once she realized that she had gotten Alex’s order wrong the first time, so she learned it for her, and was happy whenever Alex showed up at the coffee shop. Taking a chance to talk to her had been a real challenge, thinking that Alex would completely push her away and ignore her, but was happy once she realized Alex might be interested in her too. But now, that was all gone.
Erin walked into the coffee shop and looked around, trying to find Casey who was behind the counter. She walked to her and leaned over the counter. “Can I talk to you?”
Casey looked up from her notebook and nodded. “I’m taking five!” She walked to the back door and walked to Erin, sitting with her at a table in the corner. “Erin-“
“What the fuck were you thinking? Are you seriously in middle school to make a fucking bet with my best friend?” Erin snapped, not giving Casey a chance to speak.
“Let me explain.” Casey sighed. “There was no bet. There never was.”
Erin frowned. “What?”
Casey bit her lip as she tried to hold back tears. “I never had the intention of hurting Alex. Everything I did, I did it because I wanted to. Because I had been looking at Alex for so long and I took my chance.” She shook her head as she looked at Erin. “I was never involved in any bet. Rachel was jealous when she found out I was into Alex. She’s-“ She scoffed. “She was fucking childish. I’m too old to do those fucking bets. I like Alex. I never meant to hurt her, or even take advantage of her.”
Erin sighed as she leaned back in the chair. “Well, shit.” She shook her head. “I knew Rachel was no good.”
Casey scoffed. “She thinks she can get whatever she wants.” She shook her head as she looked down at her hands. “And now Alex hates me.”
“She’s hurt, Casey.” Erin shrugged. “She really believed every word Rachel told her. Alex…she overthinks. She has anxiety. She couldn’t get in her head why you would be interested in her.”
Casey sighed. “But you believe me, right?” She looked back at Erin.
Erin offered a small smile. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone being so consistent with Alex. The way you two look at each other…nothing I had ever seen.” She shrugged. “I love Alex. But I believe you. And you gotta make this right, Casey.”
Casey nodded. “I know. But…she hasn’t been here in two weeks.”
“I can give you her address.” Erin shrugged. “She’ll probably kill me but…I hate seeing Alex so sad.”
Casey smiled. “I’d be forever thankful.”
Erin grinned. “And I thought this shit only happened in movies.” She got a piece of paper out of her bag along with a pen. “Our classes end at 4 pm. She should be home by 5 pm.” She handed it to Casey. “And you know better than to fuck this up, Casey.”
Casey nodded. “I know.”
********************
Alex groaned as she walked to the door. “Erin, I told you I wanted stay in today. I’m tired of you coming at this hour and trying-“ her voice died down as she opened the door and saw that it was not Erin.
“I’m…sorry. I just ended my shift, and I…couldn’t come earlier.” Casey offered a shy smile.
Alex shook her head. “What are you doing here?”
Casey sighed. “You’ve been avoiding me. And I want to talk to you.”
Alex scoffed. “Casey…seriously. We’re old enough to do this and-“
“And then you know I’m old enough to be doing some stupid things as getting involved in a high school bet.” Casey snapped.
Alex stared at her for a moment and sighed softly, stepping aside as she let Casey walk in. “Come on in.” She whispered softly.
“Thanks.” Casey said softly as she walked into the apartment. She turned to look at Alex and smiled a bit as she noticed she had never seen Alex dressing so comfortably.
Alex closed the door and turned to look at Casey, frowning. “What?”
Casey looked down at her hands as she smiled. “You uh…you look really cute.”
Alex tried to hide her smile as she crossed her arms. “Can I offer you a drink?”
“Are we switching roles now?” Casey grinned.
Alex couldn’t help but grin slightly. “Case…”
“I never meant to hurt you, Alex.” Casey said almost in a whisper. “There was never a bet.”
Alex sighed as she looked down at the floor. “Why should I believe you?” She then looked back up at Casey.
“Because I don’t lie.” Casey shook her head. “I know better than to lie. And I never once lied to you. I…” she scoffed. “Everything that Rachel said, it was all a lie. She was jealous. She hated the fact that I was falling for you, and that I was trying to get your attention, and I-“
“You’re falling for me?” Alex frowned.
Casey stared at Alex with wide eyes. “I- Alex. I uh-“ she cleared her throat. “I just-“
“Who’s nervous now?” Alex grinned.
Casey huffed a laugh. She looked at her hands for a moment and nibbled on her lip. “I really didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t take you to the room because they were going to pay me.” She smiled shyly as she looked back at Alex. “Tina noticed you were distracted, everyone was drunk. I moved the bottle.”
Alex raised her brows, a smirk appeared on her face. “Makes sense.”
Casey laughed softly. “I was scared that you’d reject me. I didn’t want to take advantage of you. I just…really wanted to kiss you.” She smiled.
Alex tilted her head. “So no bet?”
Casey shook her head. “No bet. And yes…I am falling for you, since the first time I saw you, I knew I wanted to do anything in my power to get your attention.”
Alex smiled sadly, looking down again at the floor. “I really believed her.”
Casey walked slowly to Alex, her fingers going under her chin to make Alex look up at her, smiling softly as she fixed Alex’s glasses. “You look beautiful without glasses but…I really like to see you with them.”
Alex blushed slightly as she smiled. “You should be upset that I snapped at you, and that I didn’t believe you.”
“That’s childish. We’re both old enough for those games.” Casey grinned. “I’m sorry, Alex. I really am. But if you give me the chance…I want to make things right. I want to take you on a date.”
“You’re cheesy.” Alex smirked.
“And you like that, don’t you? It’s the type of thing you only see in movies.” Casey chuckled softly as she placed her hands on Alex’s neck.
“Yes. I want you to go on a date with you.” Alex smiled, placing her hands on Casey’s waist, and leaning in to kiss her lips softly.
Casey smiled for a moment against her lips, but brought their lips back together, the same butterflies as the first time showing up in her stomach.
…
“Cabot being the good girl and Novak being the tomboy.” Munch laughed along with Fin.
Alex rolled her eyes. “We stuck with our roles.” She smirked as she looked at Casey.
Casey shrugged. “And we made it work perfectly, even now after all these years.” She smiled as she leaned in and kissed Alex’s cheek, fixing her glasses. “Only took a date to have her wrapped around my finger.”
“Oh, says the one that was the cheesiest of the both of us. Bringing me chocolate croissants with my coffee, flowers almost every week, prepared unexpected dates.” Alex smirked.
“And you loved those. And still do.” Casey leaned in to peck her lips.
“Just get married already.” Elliot teased as he took a sip of his drink.
“This is really out of a movie, you two are too cliché.” Olivia chuckled as she looked at them.
“We wouldn’t want it any other way.” Alex grinned as she chuckled, rolling her eyes at the teasing.
#casey novak x alex cabot#casey novak#alex cabot#alexandra cabot#svu fic#law and order svu#svu#calex#casey novak fic#alex cabot fic
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homesick - han jisung
love collection
genre: comfort, angst? soft
pairings: fem!reader (infp) x idol!han jisung (istp)
warnings: none?
wc ~3.7k | moodboard
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ ｡ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:
you miss your boyfriend–you miss him a lot.
how could you not?
all you have wanted to do for the past couple of weeks is throw your arms around jisung and hold him close. you want to keep your boyfriend so tightly against your chest that you're encapsulated by the warmth radiating off his body, the warmth that never fails to comfort you, resting your head against his chest to listen to how his heart beats in tandem with your own. you miss the physical closeness with jisung.
stray kids has been on tour since late april this year, and the last leg of the tour is expected to end early april next year. while that's quite a long time for the boys to be away, they'd be back in asia in late july and on a break until the tour kicks back up in early september. it's currently the beginning of july.
thankfully, you weren't taking any summer courses. through the grace of whatever higher power there is up there, you managed to convince your boss to let you work remotely so you could join jisung and the boys for two weeks during the japanese leg of their tour back at the beginning of june.
you loved watching jisung perform. seeing him firsthand from the crowd, in his element when he's on stage, performing his art and perfecting his craft, makes your heart lurch; you fall for the man all over again, watching him up there. seeing it firsthand is completely different from watching videos of him–you can feel the energy radiating off him when he's up there.
at the end of those two weeks, you and the boys ended up in the same place: the airport. you were boarding a plane back to seoul, and they were boarding a plane to their first tour stop in america. due to the influx of reporters and fans waiting at narita international airport, your goodbyes to the boys and their staff had to be in the hotel, inside your rooms, hours before checkout time.
knock, knock, knock.
"come in!" you call whoever is on the other side of the door; if it's any of the boys, then they will be accompanied by jisung, who has the extra room key for your room.
you grunt in a squatting position as you move your luggage from laying on the ground, on its back, to standing upright on its wheels. you hear the keycard machine beep from the other side of the door in confirmation as you're hunched over, wheeling your luggage up against the wall before standing up straight and rubbing your palms against your jeans. you watch as the front door opens to reveal the eight boys, jisung in front, holding the keycard to your hotel room. behind them, the managers and some guards come into the room with them, but the bodyguards stay outside.
"y/n!" felix whines with a pout as he pushes forward, running to you and enveloping you in his arms, "fly safe, okay?"
you pat the freckled boy's back appreciatively as you nod.
"make sure you text ji when you land, okay?"
"i will, but you guys will still be in the air when he gets that message."
felix pulls away, his hands on your shoulders as he looks at you, "still, it's the thought that counts." you smile and giggle at felix, who moves aside for the next couple of members to say their goodbyes to you.
your exchanges with jeongin, minho and changbin are on the shorter side; brief hugs with jeongin and changbin, who thank you for coming to support them in concert, meanwhile minho gives you a half hug and pats your head as he bids you farewell, thanking you for taking two weeks out of the many months jisung will spend talking about how much he'll miss you.
meanwhile, hyunjin, chan and seungmin's hugs last a little longer when you're swayed around a little bit and told to be safe, get a lot of rest on the plane and not miss them too much. chan lets you know that if there is any other time you're going to be free when they're on tour, let them know, and they'll arrange everything for you–from the plane tickets to where you're staying–anything at all.
seungmin, the member you're closest to after your boyfriend, whispers in your ear quietly to ensure it's kept between the two of you: "i know you're going to ask me to take care of jisung for you, so don't worry about that. don't worry about hannie; we all got him."
the reassurance brings a smile to your face, and your grip on seungmin gets tighter in appreciation. the boy sways your bodies back and forth, patting your back when you separate. when he pulls away, he steps aside to reveal your boyfriend standing there with a pout, his big, brown eyes glossy as tears build up at his waterline. you have to bite your lip to keep from sobbing.
you were already feeling on the verge of tears when felix came rushing in and pulled you into a hug. chan's words about arranging anything and everything if you're free, then seungmin assuring you that they'll look out for your boyfriend while on tour and now, here's your boyfriend, your hannie, your jisung, looking at you with teary eyes.
you open your arms and jisung runs into them, prompting you to take a step back at the sudden impact, but jisung's tight grip around your waist protects you from any chance of falling backward. jisung buries his face in the crook of your neck while your arms are wrapped around his neck, your chin resting on his shoulder as your eyes are squeezed shut. your grip on each other is tight, knowing that once either of you lets go, the next time you'll be in each other's arms is in two months.
jisung lets a choked whimper slip out that he tries to hide with a cough. you smack his back gently, "ya!"
you clear your throat, trying your best to stay composed and stern as you utter the next words.
"if you cry, i'm going to cry too!" your voice cracks and trembles as you speak.
"i'm not crying," he denies. though his voice is muffled from his head buried in the crook of your neck, you can clearly hear that it's softer than usual, shaky, and uneasy.
you let out a pained laugh, "liar." the tears flow down your cheeks as you hold him even tighter.
"i'm not lying!" jisung continues to deny. he lifts his head up from your neck, and you stand there, still in each other's arms, looking at each other, "see."
what you see is how jisung's cheeks are flushed, wet with tears that probably fell and landed on the fabric of the hoodie you're wearing, his lashes clumped together with tears as he tries to keep his lips pursed together when they're trembling and threatening to go back to that pout. on the other hand, your tears are freely falling as you stare up at your boyfriend through your fluttering lids, mouth opening and closing as you breathe heavily through your pouted lips, cheeks also flushed and damp. you smack his chest.
"what?" he whines.
you open your mouth to laugh at him, but instead, a sob comes out; you fall back into his arms and bury your face into his chest as you cry.
"look who's crying now," jisung retorts as his arms move around your body again, holding you close. one hand rests on the small of your back while the other caresses your hair.
"yeah, the both of you," minho teases and jisung glares at the boy, but the older one just smiles back.
the rest of the boys watch the exchange between you and jisung with a slight ache in their chests as they remember how hard it was to say goodbye to their friends and family before leaving. chan looks around and he gathers everyone to leave, wanting to give you and jisung a minute alone to say your goodbyes before the driver takes you to the airport.
pulling away, jisung moves his hands to your face and brushes your hair back, some strands sticking to your skin because of tears as you hiccup. even when your hair is out of your face, he continues to stroke your hair back while the other hand is on your cheek, gently caressing the skin with the pad of his thumb. the two of you stare up at each other, sniffling.
"i love you," jisung whispers, his voice hoarse from crying.
you nod, sniffling and hiccuping in return, "i love you too."
jisung smiles down at you, "hey, i'll be back before you know it."
your eyelids flutter as you blink quickly, and your hands play with the back of the sweatshirt jisung is wearing.
"i'll text you everyday," he reminds, "i'll call you as much as i can, and as much our schedules and the time zones allow for."
you sigh shakily, "i'm gonna miss you so much."
"i'm going to miss you so much too, my love," jisung brushes your hair back again, "god, i wish i could just take you with me. two months away from you? that's too long."
you snicker, nodding in agreement, "i do too. but hey, i'll get to see so many videos of you taken by stay, doing your thing on stage."
your boyfriend smiles, gazing down at you lovingly.
"i'm so proud of you. look at you," you sigh, lips curled up in a smile, "my boyfriend is going on a world tour."
"do you know what that means?" you tilt your head in confusion, "souvenirs from every stop that remind me of you!"
since he left, both of you have been sending texts daily and video calls whenever your schedules permit it and when the time zones line up enough so it isn't too early or too late for either of you.
sometimes your calls only prompt you to miss jisung even more, wishing he was next to you and that his voice wasn't just coming through a device while he's on the other side of the world, but the distance also means you continue to long for the day jisung comes home. you know his parents long for that day as well, his mother sending you texts every couple of days asking when you're free so you can go out together. as jisung likes to put it–spending time with her future daughter-in-law.
however, as the number of days away from jisung increases, the number of days before jisung returns also decreases. with that in mind, you try to stay positive and look forward to the day he comes home.
now that the boys are in america, they've been quite busy rehearsing, checking and then rechecking their formations and any technical details that could go wrong during the concerts, the process repeating at each venue as they sync up their equipment with the new venues. their team organizing and making sure everything is okay with the venue and other organizers. as a result, jisung has been too busy to call late at night as he passes out the moment he's in his hotel room from the venue, then waking up a couple hours later to hop on a flight to the next destination.
he sends you texts here and there throughout his day, sending random photos of himself and the members during rehearsals or before and after the show. on jisung's end, he sent a text over when he landed early in the morning, saying he could probably hop on a call quickly when he gets to the hotel, seeing as they're going to be in inglewood for a little over a week for two shows instead of one. you were about to leave work when the message came through. going home for the evening when the message reminded you of your phone call with jisung's mother.
"hello, eomeonim," you greet when the line connects.
"y/n, myeoneuri," she speaks into the phone, her tone sweet as usual. she doesn't say anything for a moment before speaking, "is this a bad time? you don't sound like you're at home?"
"ah, sorry eomeonim," you apologize, "i just got off the bus, but i'm on the way home now. but don't worry, i can talk if you need me."
"ah okay, i won't keep you too long then, myeoneuri," she assures before continuing, "have you spoken to jisung on the phone recently?"
you hum as you think, "I think it's been a couple of days since our last phone call; why? is he okay?"
you hear jisung's mother sigh on the other end of the line, "i'm a little worried, if i'm honest," you hum in acknowledgment and she continues, "he sounded quite down on our phone call yesterday and the day before. he told me not to worry when i asked… i know this might be a lot, but would you mind talking to him? if it's you, he'll open up more–at least, he'll have talked about what's on his mind."
"yeah, yeah, of course," you agree, "i'll see if we can call tonight, and i'll check up on him, see how he's doing, eomeonim. don't worry too much, i'm sure ji is okay!"
she chuckles on the other end, "ah, you sound just like him, y/n. don't tell him i sent you!"
you laugh in response to her rushed addition at the end of her statement: "i won't say anything," she sighs in relief, "was there anything else you were curious about?"
she hums, "nothing else, thank you so much, myeoneuri. i'll see you on the weekend, okay? come over whenever you want! the door is always open for you!"
your cheeks flush in embarrassment as you smile, "thank you, i'll see you in a couple of days. bye eomeonim!"
"goodbye, myeoneuri! get home safely. i love you," she bids her farewells, which you exchange right back with her before she hangs up the call.
thinking back to that conversation, you wonder what worried jisung's mother about him; was it how he spoke? his tone? the words he used? was he quite active in the conversation, or did he seem more passive? you wonder what exactly she meant by jisung sounding quite down, but you guess you'll figure it out when he calls you in the morning.
it's around eight in the morning when your phone rings from the bedside table. yunjin should already be awake and ready for work, so the ringer volume doesn't wake anyone up except you. you roll around, feeling around the bedside table for the device. you accept his call quickly and place the phone to your ear.
a deep yawn leaves your lips before you say, "ji baby?"
you hear him hum in acknowledgment on the other end before he replies, "yeah, baby, it's me." a sleepy smile forms on your lips at the sound of his voice. " did I wake you?"
you groan softly as you flick the lamp on, the sudden brightness causing you to squint, "yes but i don't mind. i just wanna hear your voice. are you back at the hotel now?"
"yeah, we got back a while ago. i just wanted to be ready for bed before calling; this way i can fall asleep while you're on the line," jisung explains, and you feel your cheeks heat up at his sentiments.
he continues to talk about what they did today. you're gradually more awake and more attentive as the minutes pass, so eventually, you realize what jisung's mother was referring to when it sounded like he's been down. jisung is speaking monotone, his voice softer, and when he speaks, it sounds like his mind is elsewhere.
when he's finished, you decide to segway into that conversation, "how are you feeling?"
he pauses for a moment, taken aback before he shrugs, "i'm tired, it's been a long day of rehearsal. what about you? how are you feeling?"
"i'm doing good, i'm hearing your voice, so i'm doing great," you answer quickly before he tries to shift the conversation to you, "are you physically tired or?"
jisung is lying in bed as he speaks to you, looking up at the ceiling and thinking of his replies, "yeah. dancing and all."
"emotionally?"
"emotionally?" he repeats to which you confirm, "i mean… i'm okay–better now since i'm hearing your voice after a couple of days… it's been a busy last couple of days."
you nod, running a hand through your tangled hair as you listen to jisung on the other end. his tone is still distracted as his words graze over how he's feeling, avoiding delving deeper into it. realizing that maybe he isn't ready to delve deeper into his emotions, you allow him to shift the conversation to your life and what you've been up to while he's been on tour–asking you how work has been and if anything new has occurred. you answer jisung honestly; there is nothing new at work as it's the same job you've had since getting into university; the only new events would be the lunch you have on the weekend with jisung's mother, aunt and grandmother.
the latter part of your updates brings a smile to jisung's lips, his heart warming at the thought of the most important women in his life spending quality time together. but at the same time, hearing your updates about your life back at home, no matter how small you think they are or if they're the same things that always happen, has jisung's chest aching in a completely different way.
"ji?" you call, not hearing anything coming from his end, "did you fall asleep?" you pause to listen, to survey whether or not you hear soft snores or heavy breathing that indicate that he is indeed asleep.
instead, jisung responds after a couple of moments, "i'm still here. i'm awake."
"are you okay?" you wonder, "if you're tired then i can go–"
"no, don't go," he quickly interrupts, "sorry."
"don't apologize, i just wanna make sure you're okay," you reassure, and you hear him hum in acknowledgment.
"i miss you," he declares softly, his voice solemn as he speaks.
"i miss you too, ji," you sigh, instinctively clutching the pillow closer to your chest.
the boy on the other end ponders for a moment before continuing, "i miss you a lot. i don't really know how to explain it," jisung blinks up at the ceiling, "i miss you all the time, but when we get back to the hotel or when i'm not performing, i miss you even more."
jisung's eyebrows knit in frustration as he continues to explain himself.
"i love being on stage, i love performing," he states, "i can't explain how i feel when i'm performing either, but… there's a feeling of contentment or fullness? i don't know… i just know i love to be up there. but…"
"but?" you encourage him to continue as his words trail off.
"but when i get back to the hotel, or when it's all over, i feel tired: the adrenaline doesn't last as long as it usually does. but even though i'm tired, it's hard to fall asleep."
you aren't sure where to place jisung's words, unsure if you've ever felt the way he's been feeling lately, uncertain if you can relate, but at the least, you want to understand and reassure him that you're there.
"there's a feeling of emptiness that kinda just sits there when i'm not on stage," his voice is softer when he says the word 'emptiness' like it's a fragile word, one he's unsure of, "i wasn't sure what it was before but listening to you talk started to help me realize what caused the emptiness."
"something i said helped you realize?" you repeat for clarification.
"yeah, listening to you talk about home, work, the local cafes, the conversations you have with my mom–just everything about your life at home," jisung lists, "i'm feeling homesick."
your lips part in awe when the last word leaves his mouth, the singular word allowing you to reconceptualize what he said previously and gain a greater understanding.
"i tried my best to distract myself and rehearse more to combat those feelings of emptiness but nothing seemed to work; it just stuck there. listening to you helped combat some of my homesickness but…"
"but it's still there," you finish his sentence, and he agrees with a sigh.
"i love being onstage, i feel so alive when i'm up there," now, when jisung speaks, his tone is clearer, and his thoughts are clearer, the way he's speaking signalling that instead of being lost in his own thoughts he's got both feet on the ground and he's working through them, "but i miss home so much. god… i miss you so damn much."
you smile sadly when you hear him sniffle.
"i miss my bed at the dorms, the air fryer at the dorms that we don't even use. i miss the smell of your laundry detergent and shampoo, i miss being in your arms, and you playing with my hair. i miss being at home."
jisung cries softly as he speaks, sniffling and continuing to list off the things that he misses at home. it brings tears to your eyes; using your comforter to dab the tears off your face.
"hey…" you call into the phone, "would it help if i sent little voice messages throughout the day so you could hear my voice? i can send pictures of things you love here too? just a couple more weeks, and you'll be here, and i'll hold you so tightly you get sick of me."
"i'll never be sick of being in your arms," he remarks, "and if it isn't too much, i would love that, all of it." jisung smiles at your suggestions, appreciative of you and your ideas to help him combat his homesickness until he's back in seoul.
"i'll try my best."
"baby?" he coos, prompting a soft response from you, "do you think we can video call? i wanna see your face before i sleep. can you stay until i fall asleep?"
your cheeks heat up from your boyfriend's suggestion, and your heart feels giddy at seeing his face for a couple of minutes before he falls asleep. " of course, baby."
#hjs love collection#stray kids one shots#stray kids imagines#skz imagine#stray kids imagine#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz fluff#stray kids fanfic#stray kids x reader#stray kids scenarios#skz han fluff#skz han jisung fluff#skz han angst#skz jisung oneshot#skz jisung oneshots#skz jisung imagines#skz jisung imagine#skz jisung fluff#stray kids jisung one shots#stray kids jisung one shot#stray kids jisung imagines#stray kids jisung imagine#stray kids han imagine#stray kids hurt/comfort
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So Damn Pretty
Chapter 10
Part 9 : Part 11
Pairing: Johnny Slaughter X Female Reader
Summary: Johnny is sex starved and you’re very attractive, so attractive that he doesn’t want to kill you. Instead he finds ways to keep you around longer.
Note: The story is coming closer to completion but that’s okey cause I’m gonna be in this fandom forever even if it has died a little lol. I’ve got plenty of Johnny fics planned :3. This chapter is for those who have been so patient! Love you all😘
Warning: This is 18+ and please do not read if your sensitive to heavy descriptions of non/con and violence. Including bondage, blood, gore, assault, objectification and unsafe sex. For those who don’t mind, I hope you enjoy.
I stare vacantly at the couple of eggs on my plate, not feeling hungry for them. I sink further into my seat and take a glance over at Johnny. Its just him and me sitting at the dining table; the rest of the family have already finished up their breakfast, but it seems he has an appetite this morning, digging in his second plate of crispy bacon. I look back at the two eggs; things in pairs have been bothering me lately. It seems my mind still can't get over those two girls. I thought I would be over it; at the time, it didn’t bother me, but the guilt comes in waves. Crashing heavily against my consciousness. I try to keep it down, not letting it depress me. I've gained trust from the family, and I don’t want to ruin it with my emotions.
With their trust comes more leniency. So much so that Drayton brings me along to the gas station, helping him out with whatever he tasks me with.
A surprising amount of locals come by. They didn’t question me; they just went about their own business. I didn't know how to go about it. I guess no one back home really cares that I'm missing. Even though I'm somewhat content with my current situation, I can't help but feel sad. No one bothered at all to look for me. I know I didn't have much family, but Nate and Jessica sure did; both came from big families. There should be people searching for them.
I quickly moved on from those thoughts, especially now that it's too late to go back. It's easier to just focus on other things. Even if there isn't much to focus on,.
At least today I can spend the rest of my time with Johnny out in the field. I love keeping him company while he works on the cars, and sometimes I help out by passing him tools or handing him a rag.
I glance over at him again while I smoosh around my runny eggs with my fork. He shoots me a small grin. I was going to smile softly back at him until a sudden shot of nausea hit me. Instead, I must have given him an ugly face because he looked at me with a raised brow.
Salvia starts poring up into my mouth, and with panic, I sit up, making the chair scratch on the floor, and bolt past Johnny to the front door, slamming it open. No longer able to hold it down, I grip the veranda's handrails tightly, lean over, and vomit my breakfast onto the poor bushes below.
"Ya' alright, darlin'?" Johnny asks as he walks up behind me, confused. He sees what is happening and places a large hand on my back and rubs it in soft circles while I spew out misery. Thinking I was finished, I turned around to face him, smiling wearily, but a second punch of nausea came flying in, and I turned back to vomit in the bushes again.
“I’ll go get Sissy.” He says this, grimacing at the sight of me puking, unsure of what to do.
He leaves, and in a quick minute, a concerned Sissy comes with a damp hand towel, and she guides me to take a seat on the white bench, dabbing my forehead while I try not to throw up straight bile.
"Oh, pumpkin, this is not good," Sissy worries, still wiping my face. Johnny comes back outside, also looking concerned.
“Take her to the living room, Johnny; she needs to lay down.” Sissy tells him, feeling my forehead and checking for my temperature. I’m not sure if I’m sick; I don’t feel hot.
Johnny, grumbling at being told what to do, still picks me up bridal style, carrying me effortlessly to the living room, and lays me down gently on the cowhide-covered couch.
“What’s wrong with her?” Johnny asks, turning to Sissy, wanting an answer to my sudden sickness. She places an old, rusty bucket down next to me, just in case I get sick again.
"Well, she ain’t burnin' up. Maybe it’s something she ate.” She’s replies are also confused about my sudden sickness.
I lay there on the couch, trying to keep whatever wants to come up down while Sissy and Johnny keep me company for a bit. It’s comforting to see how much they seem to care for me. However, after under an hour of resting and sipping on some water, I feel much better.
“I'm feeling better.” I said this to both of them, who looked surprised and relieved about my comeback.
“Somethin' must've upset ya' then.” She reasons. With that little incident over with, the rest of the day goes by as normal without any sign of sickness. It must have been something I ate.
That’s what I believed until the very next morning, and then the next thing happened on the third day. Sissy keeps my hair away from my face while rubbing my back.
It's another morning, and I'm back outside vomiting; it seems to be my usual puke spot outside on the veranda.
I know I've made everyone else concerned now. I can hear Nubbins questioning Johnny about why I'm throwing up so much. But he wouldn't get a solid answer from him, as he is just as clueless about my ongoing vomiting. I don’t understand either; at first, I thought I was dying, but what Sissy came up with seemed worse than dying. Her sweet voice contradicts the heavy words coming out of her mouth. I feel like I've been strapped to an anchor, and it's dragging me down, deep below.
“I think you may be pregnant, sugar; you ain’t got no fever, and sure, dang, know Johnny hasn’t been innocent with you." She explains smoothing my messy hair.
Now I feel like I’m really drowning. Oh, my good I’m pregnant, oh fucking hell. It explains everything: the weight gain, my emotions playing up, and of course the morning sickness. My legs start to wobble. Holy shit, I’m pregnant with Johnny’s baby.
Sissy notices my shaky form and decides to help me back inside. Holding my arms steady, she shuts the door behind us with her foot while leading me to the sofa. As I sit, she’s skipped off to grab a glass of lemonade while I try to calm down. Just as quickly as she left, she came back with a glass of delicious cold lemonade. Sissy places the drink in my shaky hands as I take a sip. Its sweet yet bitter flavour soothes me.
“When I was in California, some of her sisters from the ranch always threw up every morning when they were pregnant. It's called morning sickness, and it's always a telltale sign that you're going to have a baby.” She explains joyfully, sitting down right next to me and giving me an excited hug.
She then claps her hands together cheerfully. "Oh, how joyous a little baby!" She throws her thin arms around me again in another big hug while I sit frozen, completely gobsmacked by the revelation that I'm pregnant. I guess I must have forgotten how babies were made while I’ve been here; Johnny and I have been going at it enough. There is no denying that.
I placed my lemonade down on the coffee table and placed a hand over my belly. Johnny's baby is growing inside me and will later give birth to his baby.
Sissy stands back up, going over to a sleeping grandpa. I didn't realise he was there. But Sissy, with all her excitement, accidentally woke him up, to which she apologised by telling him about the new member of the family and how he’s going to be a grandpa again. How many generations old is this baby going to make grandpa? I wonder.
Grandpa Sawyer just let out these wistful groans in reply. Sissy explains that he’s excited for a new grandchild. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand him.
Then Johnny comes stomping in, shirtless and sweaty from being outside in the Texas heat. "What’s all the squealing you’re making? I can hear it from outside." He asks, annoyed.
I would've hoped Sissy would keep my pregnancy to herself until I was ready to tell her, but instead she just blatantly spills out to him that I'm pregnant.
“Bout’ time.” He says plainly, I gap at his laid-back attitude on this situation. He turns to my surprised face, and he smirks. He inches closer, bending down so his face is in front of mine.
“I told ya I wanted to be a dad, didn’t I? It’s why I've been working so hard on you.” His smirk widens as my face flushes red in embarrassment. Have I been baby trapped?
The day goes by like usual, even though I'm an emotional, vomiting mess. Now during dinner, and for some odd reason, I never get sick eating supper. The smell of any other food makes me queasy, except cooked meat. My mouth starts to drool when I smell it being cooked. Just barely being able to keep anything else down has made me famished, and tonight, Drayton's chilli has never tasted better. Going in for seconds and now thirds.
“I should've made extra batches just for the way you eat, girl.” Drayton commented, slightly impressed with how much I can put down.
“It’s just so good.” I moan out with a mouthful of chilli.
“It's better than good; it's the best chilli in the whole damn county.” Cook proudly states, sitting up a bit straighter.
“Oh god, enough of the chilli talk.” Johnny groans out, already frustrated with the conversation.
“Y-yeah enough!” Nubbins joins in, trying to entice a fight.
"Oh, shut it; look at the girl; she loves it.” He points over to me, still stuffing my face with utter pleasure.
“No more of this arguing! Y/N is in a delicate situation, and I want none of ya' messing that up!” Sissy puts her bit in, not wanting to be left out of the conversation. Ironically, this is her way of enticing an argument.
“What delicate situation, girl? She's just hungry.” Drayton asks, confused by Sissy’s words.
“She’s pregnant, and ya' can't do anything about' it.” Sissy again spills the beans on my pregnancy, but now to the rest of the family.
I look over at Johnny puasing my eating to see his reaction to Sissy not being able to keep anything to herself. “They'll find out sooner or later.” He just sinks further back into the chair, crossing his muscular arms under his chest, waiting for the onslaught of words from Drayton.
Bubba, who is next to me, is the first to react. He places his large hand on top of his head and pats it, like if I were a puppy. He groans gleefully, I guess, letting me know that he is happy with the new addition. He can be a real gentle giant when there isn't anyone to murder.
Cook has gone absolutely red as a tomato, while nubbins start snickering. "Oooh, J-Johnny, I-I-is in trouble.” It seems the night has gone his way for wanting drama.
"God, Damnit, boy, I knew this would happen. You can’t control yourself, can you? Always chasing tail, and now a baby.” Drayton stood up at the start of his rant but now has sat down, looking almost deafted.
“Your mother will go ballistic once she finds out.” Drayton points his finger at Johnny, warning him.
“Shut it, old man! You got nothing to worry about; it’s bout time; we’re all getting old, and we gotta keep the family going.” He counters Drayton's words.
It looked like Nubbins wanted to say more, but with Johnny quickly standing up and leaving, it was pointless.
Dinner practically finished up after that fight, and I just sat there silently, not sure what to do. I was supposed to help clean up, but I sneakily decided to go find Johnny. Anyway, with all the commotion still going on with Nubbins and Sissy messing with Drayton, it’s best I stay away.
I check the front veranda; Johnny has a few smoke spots he always goes to: the front, the back garden, and his shed. But luckily, my first guess was right, as I found him sitting on the outdoor bench. While walking to him, he quickly puts on his smoke, squishing it under his boot. “Shouldn’t smoke around you anymore.” He grins at me, and just as I take a seat, he places his warm hand on my stomach.
“The second I saw you, I knew you were the perfect girl to have my kid. So fucking pretty, I'm going to look after the both of you, I promise.”
His words send tingles all throughout your body; it’s electrifying. You place your hand over his, smiling back at him.
“Soon you’re going to get real big, darlin’; ya tits are going to get nice and fat too.” He teases with humour, but a familiar, hungry look starts building in his eyes.
As he inches closer to me, his large hand moves away from mine and glides up, grabbing a breast. He squeezes it firmly before starting to massage it. His warm breath is on my neck as he kisses right below my jaw. Wetness begins to pool in my panties.
“Run up the stairs to your room and undress before I take you right here.” As much as I wanted to tease him, it’s better to listen, or he really would take me here, in any position too. He gets very creative when he's horny.
I get up and leave, going to my room just as instructed. I closed the door behind me and set myself on the bed to undress. I wore a blue sundress today, so I just unzipped the side and let it slip right off. Leaving me in my white panties. Even though it didn’t take me long to undress, it wasn't quick enough for Johnny. He was already here, striding in and locking the door behind him, already semi-undressed too.
“Come on, darlin', only your panties left to go; take em off for me.” I happily obliged, hooking my fingers into the side, purposefully bending over, and sliding them down.
I look back to see the bulge in his jeans while he takes them off. Now he is just as naked as me. I will never get tired of looking at his body. His large muscles, pecs, sprinkled on chest hair leading down to his happy trail—the sight of his scars always makes me throb. Fuck, he is gorgeous.
With my ogling, I fail to notice him getting closer. Wrapping his large arms around me, he whispers into my ear, “I want you to take a seat on my face while keeping your mouth busy with my cock.” He groans before going to lay down on the bed. This is a new position, and with only a little hesation, I gingerly climb over him, placing my legs on the side of his head. Before I sink down, he grabs my hips roughly, bringing my swollen heat to his mouth.
I gasp as his tongue slides back and forth over my clit. I lean further down, grinding my wetness along his mouth needing more. His impressive cock, comes into view, precum leaking out; it’s red and aching to be sucked.
I lick his tip timidly before taking his whole length, making a sloppy mess while focusing on his head, I hear him groan as I go deeper. His grunting sends small, delightful vibrations along my clit.
My muffled moans fill the room as he holds me in place, my aching pussy being devoured while I simultaneously suck off Johnny. I hallow out my cheeks, pinch my lips, and let my tongue slide along his shaft. Working extra hard to get him to finish first.
It's difficult; he knows exactly how to get me off. He knows where I'm most sensitive and what feels best. My plans to make him cum first are starting to falter; I'm struggling to even keep myself steady. I put my tired arms on top of his muscular thighs, giving them a rest. I take a deep breath and continue to encompass his cock, swirling my tongue along the base. I’m a little sloppy with the rhythm now, but I don’t think he cares.
I can feel my orgasm building as Johnny doesn’t even stop for air, still sucking and licking my clit with undying hunger. His grip on my hips still remains strong, making me unable to pull away.
My limbs are starting to become sore. Needing him to finish, I start sucking his cock faster, my salvia drenching him, making it easier for it to slide along my tongue. My moans turn to whines as my own orgasm is right on the edge.
I feel him twitch in my mouth while his groans continue from below. "Fuck, I’m gonna cum." I choked out, stopping to take a deep breath.
Johnny slides his hands along my thighs as his tongue stays strong, massaging my clit, while keeping a steady pace.
I take his throbbing length back into my mouth right before my orgasm hits. The force of it makes my legs turn to jelly while I moan incoherently around him. I try to move away, my clit becoming increasingly sensative, but his hands grip back to my hips, holding me captive while he moves his hot tongue in my cunt, licking up my juices as he thrusts himself deeper down my throat. Not letting me until he cums.
I’m a whimpering mess; my thighs squeeze his face while I lick and sucking, getting him closer so my poor pussy can have a break.
My efforts were deemed successful as his cock started to twitch and stiffen. With my last lick, he spills himself. He groans as his cock pulsates while I swallow his whole load. With revenge, I continue to suck him, knowing he's going sensitive. He hisses and quickly pulls me off.
“Naughty girl,” he chuckles, slapping my ass hard.
I yelp from the harsh slap and roll my body to the side, recovering from the intense orgasm. Johnny, too, lays still panting. I move up and lay my head on his chest. He throws an arm around me as we both relax into each other.
Before I knew it, I'd fallen asleep on his chest.
It's in the middle of the night that I wake up to long, thick fingers inside me, thrusting in and out slowly.
“You awake, baby?” Johnny asks, now teasing my hard clit with his thumb. I moan out in response, gripping the bedsheets.
"Yeah, does that feel good?" His whispers, his face moving into the crook of my neck, his hardness pressing up against me.
"Ah-ah.” I try to say yes, but it’s morphed into moans.
“Fuck, your tight baby girl, gonna' feel so good when I put it in. He groans while I spread my legs further apart from his words. I'm going to cum soon with the way he’s going.
Instead, he pulls his fingers back, slides over on top, and plunges his hard cock inside me. He slips his wet fingers into his mouth, tasting myself, while his cock goes further deep inside.
I groan out while he stretches me. A mixture of sleepiness and arousal makes me clench around him. Johnny, in turn, pulls out his fingers, replacing them with his tongue and pushing it into my accepting mouth as he starts a fast rhythm, pounding into me.
All noise is blocked out, except for my moans and the slapping sound of his cock fucking in and out of my sopping hole.
“I'm going to keep you on my cock forever.” He groans into my ear, grabbing onto my swinging chest. Groping the fatty flesh.
I whimper at the thought of being his cock slave, as if I weren’t already.
He sits up, holding my hips tightly in one hand, and as the other goes to rub my clit, I hold my tits, stopping their swinging from his hard thrusts.
“I'm going to be full of milk soon.” I moan out, teasing him, thrusting back against his cock. I felt his cock twitch as he groans, knowing he's imaging my tits spilling milk. The hand that was squeezing my hip goes to squish a boob, swatting my hand away and pinching the nipple.
I throw my head back in ecstasy and wrap my legs around Johnny’s waist, getting closer to my second orgasm of the night.
“Ya' gonna' cum on my cock, sweetheart?” He teases, rubbing my clit achingly slow.
I whine as he also starts to stop his thrusting, keeping me on edge. Repeatedly pulling himself fully out of my cunt and slowly pushing back in.
Not giving in to his teasing, Johnny takes his cock and starts jerking it, leaving me feeling empty and frustrated.
“Use your words, darlin'.” He groans out, now stopping his rubbing on my clit, only focusing on getting himself off.
“Please! Please, I want to cum.” I moan wantonly, fucking desperate for him to continue.
It’s not enough; he is still waiting.
“please daddy.” I moan, testing out a new nickname.
It does the trick as he groans deeply, gliding his hardness back inside me and thrusting away.
Relief floods me when his cock goes back into my aching heat. I’m so close to finishing.
“I-I-I’m cumming!” I cry out as my pussy squeezes him tightly. My orgasm sends Johnny over the edge as he cums just as quickly inside me.
“Fuck yeah, baby, cum on daddy’s cock.” He moans out, shoving himself deeper.
I whimper from the overly sensative feeling of being filled and having two orgasms in a short amount of time.
It’s been a few weeks, and my bump has become more visible. It seems each day I just keep getting bigger and bigger. It does help my confidence that Johnny just can’t seem to keep his hands off me since I’ve become pregnant. It’s like the animal inside of him has changed. Becoming more protective and sex-hungry.
I won’t lie. Being pregnant has been a nice change; I’m doing less labour. Sissy considers me too delicate, and she doesn't want to stress the baby. Drayton has even been forcing Nubbins to actually clean up the messes he makes; he didn’t listen until Sissy and Johnny got on his ass about it too. Three against one, it took him to actually listen. It’s mainly bone scraps he leaves around, always making new traps. He even showed me how he makes him; it was impressive, especially how well they worked on the animals nearby. He explains that it was Grandpa who taught him everything he knows, from killing, slicing, and cleaning his blade, "back when Grandpa was still in his killing form." He told me enthusiastically.
It’s hard to picture Grandpa in his so-called 'killing form', even if it was years ago. He's just so old and motionless, but with the way he enjoys his blood, I can understand that he may have been more ruthless than anyone here.
Having less work has made me bored, only spending time in the lounge. I’ve been trying to find my stuff to do. I have no more clothes to patch up or anything to make. And I’ve cleaned so much that there is barely anything else to clean. I need to find something to do before I go crazy.
Johnny has noticed me being a little slumped, so he decided to bring inside some dead rabbits and teach me how to skin them. How lovey. Though it did cure my boredom, even if it was gross, and he did a much better job than me, he made it look so effortless. It was like it was his thousandth time doing it. Unfortunately, it probably was. During my time here, I learned that Johnny is an efficient hunter. The skulls of the animals and other people he killed are used as decorations in the house.
Those rabbits that we skinned went into a crockpot meal with mashed potatoe; Sissy made it with a bunch of herbs and veggies from her greenhouse. You can't get this type of fresh food in the city. Not including people.
I decided to try and work on my baking skills, asking Drayton if he could bring back some condensed milk so I could try to make some caramel fudge. He agreed; we already have butter and sugar, so it wasn't too much of an ask, and let’s just say my caramel fudge was a hit. Everyone has a surprising sweet tooth. Maybe not too surprising, as the pantry was stocked with tubs of chocolate drink powder.
So now during the day, to help my boredom, I've been baking treats and deserts, and it's nice that everyone likes my baking. Even Johnny, who seemed like someone who hates sugar, eats up the sweets much like everyone else. Sissy always gets excited to see what I've made for dessert. She tells me it's become her favourite part of the day.
Time goes by, and so I get even bigger. Including my chest, I think it's doubled in size; it’s embarrassing how big I’m getting. It doesn’t help that Nubbins snickers around me, poking fun at the size of his chest; he called me a cow one day, and sweet Bubba, who would do anything for his family, smacked Nubbins really hard on the back, making the lanky man tumble embarrassingly forward on the ground. which I've believed humbled him, as I got no more teasing after that.
Some of the spare clothes I’ve had that were modest are now very form-fitting and showy, just because of my growing size. Thankfully, there are old male button-up shirts that I can use to give myself some dignity.
I don't even know why I worry about my dignity when I let Johnny strip me naked and put me in compromising positions. Thanks to my growing breasts, Johnny couldn’t seem to hold himself back, and now we've been fucking everywhere, more than before.
One moment I’m relaxing outside in the middle of the day, the next I’m nude, riding his cock on the old, ripped-out car seats out back near his shed. I have to hold on to his shoulders tightly because he's making me go. Moving me up and down. He does it purposefully because he likes watching my tits bounce.
Being pregnant has made everything more sensitive. So when he places his mouth over my nipple and pinches the other, I almost cum. At least fucking outside, I get to be loud. I just hope no one is watching.
But as I get closer to cumming, the less I care if anyone can see. I’m enjoying myself. So I throw my head back, and I grind down on Johnny while I peak. Milking his cock through my orgasm, he squeezes my chest, holds me down tightly, and fills me up with his hot cum.
Just as my chest grows, so does my ass, so a day later I’m on all fours, holding the headboard for dear life, trying to keep my moans low as Johnny slams into me from behind. He smacks my ass as I thrust back onto him. He grips the fat hard. Making sure this time I finish from his cock alone. Just as I came, he pulls out and pumps himself until he shoots his load over my clit and pussy, making a mess. He reasons that since I'm pregnant, he can decorate me with his cum. He's especially loves shooting his cum over my face and chest. It's nice that he makes sure I have an orgasm right before he does.
Yes, all my assets may be growing; but most importantly, my stomach is too, With the baby getting bigger, Johnny's softer side comes out.
So now he has a pillow under my hips while he slowly ruts his cock while softly sucking my nipple. He slides his hand over my body, feeling all the curves. He slides his hands down and up my leg till he brings it over to my clit, rubbing it in delicate circles. I groan; going slow is new, but fuck, it still feels good to get pampered like this.
“We’re not fucking like this all the time, are we?” I'm still addicted to the hard and fast fucking Johnny is known for.
"Nah, Darlin, I just like the way you glow tonight and want it slow.” He says this while ironically speeding up, causing me to whimper.
As my orgasm gets closer, I hold his face in my hands and stare into his handsome eyes. “I love you, Johnny.” I pant out as I cum around him.
“I love you too, doll,” he responds, filling me up with his cum and kissing me hard.
#johnny slaughter#texas chainsaw game#texas chainsaw massacre#the texas chainsaw massacre#leland tcm#tcm game#ana flores#connie tcm#sawyer family#tcm fanfic#johnny slaughter fanfic#johnny slaughter x reader
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a drawing of Häärijä because why not
#i just really like him okay lol#häärijä#käärijä#digital art#this took so much longer than i thought it would holy shit lmao#every time i thought it was finished i saw something else that bothered me#and i would spend another few hours on it#i'm actually still not really satisfied with it but whatever lol#also#i kinda want häärijä to see this?#but at the same time i don't want to post this on my insta account#and i don't want to send this as a dm to him because i'm always afraid of being annoying#so this probably won't happen lmao#ignore my rambling i'm kinda sleep deprived rn lol
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My bank watching me immediately spend $80 the second I get a notice that my paycheck has gone through.
#ramblings#pinkie pie `holy shit....... is this f*ggot serious?` meme png#I WAS GONNA SPEND MONEY ON SOMETHING ELSE BUT ok so ive wanted an animated pixel icon from this one artist for ages#now right? yeaahhhhhhhhh#this was NOT an impulse buy. was not planned but instead im just gonna put off the other things i wanted to get for a teensy bit longer#on top of those things i was considering spending $70 on an adopt (a lot i know but its a design ive wanted + have thought this through)#so like. instead of getting that adopt im getting this icon and then mondayyyy i think ill preorder the springtrap youtooz#i am responsible with my money i prommyyyyyyyyy#i feel it in my bones that this is gonna be a long weekend at work so whatever im treating myself /j
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i know this is a terrible awful ungrateful thing to say. but i sincerely hate my illness for not being terminal.
#i no longer have days when i wish to continue living#i went through all the childhood trauma and the failed suicide attempts#and i worked my ass off in therapy to get to a point where my brain was not a terrible place to live#and i sincerely felt happy about living and having a future#and then this happened.#and i dont know if i will ever live normally again#theres a chance im just gonna spend the rest of my life trapped inside my house numb from pain#so like. for the people who ask when im gonna post on onlyfans/reddit/whatever again: i dont know#i know you’re not asking that in an unkind way#i know its a compliment#but i truly dont know if ill even still be alive in a years time#i dont want to kms but i also dont have it in me to live my life like this#so yeah my answer to everything is i dont know and idk if i ever will know#sorry this is fuckin grim.
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one of the fun things about ford pines is that this guy's always in situations. it's also one of the most tragic things about him
#☢️.txt#i love portal era ford so much#because hes simultaneously whoever he has to be to survive and The Same Person As Always#smth smth hes infinitely adaptable but he cant let any of this sink in because that would mean hes no longer#himself. and being himself being Stanford Pines. PhD. The Man Who Trusted Bill Cipher And Now Must Kill Him#is all he has left!!!!! so no matter what. no matter how attatched he gets. no matter how tempting it is#he cannot change but he must adapt#i also think about how the hand witch comments that he'll live many lives but none of them will be as long as he wants them#and while im p sure thats meant to reference kings of new jersey -> researcher -> paranoia -> portal -> home#it also works with him spending half his life having to be whatever the situation calls for#and he references this in j3! he references how he feels like hes lived a hundred different lives!
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feeling like you’re 12 when you’re 22 is genuinely such a humiliating experience.
#my dad and mom have been on my case ab asking for permission before I go places and it makes me kinda sick#seeing everyone around me make plans or whatever and then being like ‘I’ll have to ask 🥺 👉🏽👈🏽#’#and my dad’s a liar he’s like it’s not like we ever say no#except my mother does and so does he???#even the muslim girls I am friends with have more freedom and you know what’s amazing ab this is#they can’t stop me from going to school. they don’t pay for that#they can’t take my car. they don’t pay for that#my mom can stop making food for me and I will manage just fine#they wanna kick me out???? blessing in disguise#but it’s hilarious that as an adult i’m still paying for everything I use but I still have to ask permission genuinely fuck off#my parents when I have to stay late on campus for some school event: 😒#the way I’d be making money rn if they didn’t decide to come and stalk me at work and see me without my hijaab on#and that one’s on me I could choose to just work with it on and make them happy#but I literally can’t as a matter of principle#i’m given such little pride as it is and if I say I don’t want to work with a hijaab on that’s that#i got an internship two days ago for the summer and you can bet your ass I’m not wearing my hijaab#except it’s not paid#and as much as I have guilt spending I really don’t spend a lot and it makes me so angry#i know that your 20s isn’t your whole life and people shouldn’t think that if they waste their 20s their life is up#but it’s like#my teens were already so shitty and abusive and trapped#how much longer do I have to deal w this before i’m treated like an adult#trick question! it’s only until a man can own me bc then he can make my decisions instead of them <3
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// Hello! Merry Christmas, and happy holidays!
As is custom, most of my time is currently spread thin between studying exams and spending time with family. Since I still intend to return to activity, I want to give a little headsup of what the plan is:
As I've said before, I want to make a new sideblog for Cayin's Elden Ring verse so that I can more comfortably explore its themes, interactions and aesthetics without it diluting the things I've been doing with his main verse. I think this may help kick things off in terms of returning to activity, and let people pick whichever setting they're most interested in.
Thing is, I've been going back and forth with the theme among other small details. My attention has also been horrendous, and while it's been getting better and I'm making progress in returning to my hobbies, it's still going more slowly than I'd like. I've been torn between making a quick placeholder for the blog (so that I can start things off without having to wait for these creative obstacles to be gone) or taking my time to ensure that this theme fits my ideas for the blog.
Since studies and family remain my focus, but I don't want to keep postponing this indefinitely, I'm going to wait at least until the Winter break is over, and potentially until the first batch of exams is done (so roughly until the middle of January) to make the blog. Whether it's a placeholder or something finished.
I may still do a thing or two here before then, depending on what my spare time allows. I've missed being around on this blog. Take care everyone, and as always, feel free to message me if you'd like to plot or simply chat.
#ooc#Merry Christmas (or whatever festivity you partake in)!#been working hard- but I'm feeling better because I'm starting to see the results of it#I generally consider the theme of a blog to be something purely secondary#always lovely to see something nice on the eyes and thematic but so long as it works I don't think it's a priority#but I do want this to be a sort of “soft reboot” for me. I've been reevaluating my mentality towards responsibilities and hobbies alike#in hopes of no longer finding myself paralized like this#I want to deal with the things that have been making this so much harder to do#stop thinking about writing so much and spend more of that time actually writing#alongside so many other things#so I'd like things to feel fresh. I'd like the theme to better convey the ideas and aesthetic I'm going for#anyways: this is (supposedly) the last Winter break I'll be this busy#Not the last I'll have to study but if things go well next one will be far more manageable#I hope you've been doing well and if that's not the case then may that change soon#bye! See you soon
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constantly frustrated by my slowness at accomplishing tasks I think it is the number one thing holding me back
#i'll change my mind about this tomorrow. tomorrow the number one thing will be i hate speaking to people irl 75% of the time#it's not that i don't do tasks it's just it takes me way longer than it takes any average person#on account of all the time i spend trying to get myself to do scary tasks#sometimes it's better in a job setting bc. this is bad but jobs like don't count#whatever happens there isn't like real life#it's basically just a silly game#but getting the job...#finding a roommate making life decisions#horrible#i want to just be in a location where i don't have to make any major life decisions for like 3 years in a row#sounds so relaxing#i don't wanna move i don't wanna change my job situation i want to just not think about it for several years
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(Jacobsbadwig) with all due respect, when the fuck did you get back! I missed you!
never left, only reincarnated :)
#i missed you too!!!!!! how's the fanfic going???? well i hope :)#it has been a Time#my burnout & mental illness got the better of me. i intended on divorcing myself from fandom & deleting my blog#i wanted to make myself as small as possible so i could spend whatever energy i had on work and drugs#i was afraid my presence was negatively affecting the fandom at best & contributing nothing at worst#it didn't feel like there was any place for me anymore - not because of anything anyone said or did but bc#many posts i made i no longer agreed w/ & bc i was too burnt out to write new theories i figured no one would notice or care i was gone#so i got super drunk and deleted everything#people contacted me about my blog but i was too anxious to reply#bc i didn't want to admit i had made a mistake#i kept the handle in case i ever wanted to post#but for a long time i had nothing to say about twilight outside of what my fanfiction had to say about it#i lurked for a while & at the end of the day i missed the community that came with participating in fandom#really tho - what helped was quitting my crushing job and taking several months to travel around the pacific northwest#(burnout is REAL!!!!!!)#and the admin of the twilight Discord server recognizing my handle & taking the time to talk to me - which was very sweet of them#plus - i am rereading Eclipse for the fanfic rewrite and began to have Thoughts#tbh i've been finding it amazing that anyone ever noticed i left or remembered my handle! im kinda blown away#anyway here's all the information you never asked for LMAO#i am happy to be back in the circle :)#cheers to you#<3
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still almost a month until i can get bg3 (but i've managed to pick up two more work shifts so i can buy the game and still have extra money to spare which is nice!) but whatever. my first pc is probably gonna be a dragonborn but idk what class they should be yet and i like audience participation.
#maybe i'll pay for a month or 2 of the better subscription to geforce now too.#just so i can play the game in longer intervals.#whatever we'll get there when we get there.#my dad might not want me spending that much money on gaming stuff.#nyx on comms
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kind of unfair and a bit mean and rude to be fucking honest that writing takes so long. why can i finish a whole ass detailed drawing in 2 hours but only write like 200 words in the same amount of time .
#well it's because enjoyable sentences take longer to craft than drawing the same man breasting boobily for the millionth time but you know.#anyway i have commenced a short b/osselot fic...i say short like 3k words maybe but actually this might end up longer#idk#im only half seriously complaining bc actually i want to spend more time on this one and be a bit more wordy/descriptive/polished idk idk.#whatever#we'll see
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