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#i want that brit obliterated
sparklingwaterbabie · 2 years
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A collection of my favourite tweets, thus far, on #SpitGate that I’m putting here for ease for my friends seeing
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angelmichelangelo · 2 years
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marc and jake bating steven into saying stuff like ‘it’s chewsday innit’ and ‘bo’ol o’ wo’er’ in every day conversation, laughing to themselves whilst steven is straight faced staring at his reflection like ‘u fuckers’ 
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seresinhangmanjake · 2 months
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The One I Want: Part 12
Jake "Hangman" Seresin x plus size!reader
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Summary: You’re new in town and some guy named Jake is about to be your roommate. Being skeptical of new people keeps you lonely and uninterested in any entanglements, but Jake is desperate to change that.
Notes/Warnings: cursing, emotional stuff and vulnerability, typos
Words: 1766
The One I Want Masterlist
“How?�� he says as you remove yourself from his lap. He immediately stands and runs a hand through his hair, then he looks at you. “When?”
The expression on his face is indecipherable, lingering in the realm of confusion and shock, and—looking a bit deeper into his eyes—nearing the cusp of anger. 
Your fingers fiddle with the hem of your dress. “After you left."
Jake takes a step away from you, the back of his knee knocking into the coffee table causing a slight stumble. A knife makes a little slash in your heart as he turns his back to you, but then he spins around, opens his mouth, closes it, shakes his head, and finally locks his eyes onto yours. “She knocked on the door.”
You shrug. “I guess so.” Not that it matters. Brit wanted to separate you from Jake so she could get you alone. Whether that was due to her own fist banging on the door or another’s, the goal was achieved. She got to you. 
Jake’s tone falls dark, much darker than you could imagine coming from him, when he grinds out, “What did she say to you?” 
You don’t instantly respond. It’s a delicate matter simply because you know that, in Jake’s eyes, a line was crossed. Well, not so much crossed as obliterated, but you're not sure how he's going to react, or where that reaction will be directed.
“Tell me,” he demands. You don’t miss the underlying plea.
Clearing your throat, you say, “In a few words?”
“However many you need.”
You nod, glancing down to find your fingers still messing with your dress. You could potentially ruin it with the constant rubbing and picking at the same spot, but that’s not enough to deter the habit. You lick away the dryness of your lips that came after losing the warmth and moisture of his, and you look back up at him. “That it’s only a matter of time before you hurt me.”
Jake’s face crumbles—all darkness lost to devastation—and his body loosens as if about to slump right onto the floor. He manages to stay upright enough to make his way over and kneel in front of you. Though fiddling with your dress is the most comforting method you have to keep nervous energy at bay, your hand doesn’t resist being taken into his. 
“You should have told me,” he says, but it’s so weak and desperate that it’s more of a whine. “I could’ve–”
“It was your birthday,” you stop him. “I wasn’t going to ruin it.”
Jake’s thumb runs over your knuckles in a back-and-forth motion—such a common reassurance between you over the last few weeks that you’re not sure if he even knows he does it. It has just become one of those things you do now. He takes your hand, caresses your skin, and in return, you squeeze your fingers around his.
“You think I care more about my birthday than I care about you?” he asks, but after a few moments of your silence, his brow pinches and he says, “Why aren’t you answering me?”
“Jake, I–” you pause to consider the response he’s likely to give, but you don’t want to—can’t—lie to him. So you let the words slide evenly out of your mouth and prepare yourself for the inevitable. “I don’t want to be the cause of good things getting messed up for you.”
Jake regains the strength in his body and stands on perfectly sturdy legs. Your hand falls from his as he, once again, backs away. His eyes narrow, his mind clearly running through all possible reasons why you would say something like that to him, but coming up short on anything that will make him feel better. 
“Don’t say that,” he says lowly.
You sigh. “That’s why I kept it to myself.”
Then there is fury growing; a rage threatening to coat the living room that only minutes ago was so peaceful while your bodies and lips and touches were slotted together like puzzle pieces. 
“Well that's a bad reason!” he snaps. 
“Why?” you shoot back, rising from the couch. “Why is that so bad?”
“Because I don’t want you to start thinking like that!” It’s a shout now; the beginning of a rapid tumbling of words. “You could never mess up anything! But I can’t keep her away from you! I can’t control what she does or says! She’s the one who will mess things up and then I will lose you because you’ll go looking for a twelfth new place, and fuck knows where that will be, which means I won’t have a chance to fix what she destroyed because I won’t even be able to find you!”
His voice echoes, bouncing off the walls, and as words settle in, every ounce of his anger melts into anguish. With a groan, his head falls forward into his hands. 
“Fuck,” is muffled by his palms. “I'm sorry.”
You allow yourself to look at him; at the man who is ready to fall apart before you, who cycled through every emotion you've been hoping he wasn’t keeping inside. But you knew of this possibility. You knew that sharing your past with Jake could plant seeds that might have him wondering if you will one day leave him, too, because of circumstances entirely out of his control. 
You pictured yourself much more persuasive, though. You’ve changed, Jake changed you, and you thought it was evident enough to keep him from believing that he could fall victim to your old patterns. As it shows, you were wrong.
Easing yourself around the coffee table, you go to Jake—the magnet you’re drawn to—pry his hands from his face, and press your lips to his. 
He doesn’t waste a moment adapting to its unexpectedness. Never does, though. Whenever you kiss him when he’s least expecting it, he reacts so quickly—snaking an arm around your waist, tangling his fingers into your hair, moving his lips with yours—as if the taste of your mouth flips a switch inside of him. He returns your kisses with the enthusiasm of a man not wanting to sacrifice a single second of the feeling you give him. He kisses you back like he wasn't just on the verge of shattering.
“Breathe,” you whisper when you break the kiss.
His forehead rests against yours. “I can't.”
“You can.”
Eventually doing as you ask, he inhales and exhales and inhales and exhales, his breath brushing your face until he’s calm enough for you to accept. His hold on you tightens, pulling your body into his. 
“Don’t leave,” he says, lips briefly ghosting over yours. “You’re the only one who has made me feel like this since I lost them.”
“Like what?”
“Whole,” he replies. He swallows. “Safe.”
One of your hands slides from his shoulder to rest over his heart. Despite the breaths you requested from him, your fingers practically feel the relentless jackrabbiting thump within his chest. Wild, and yet, heavy, strong. Were you to put your ear up to him, the sound alone would be enough to drown out your other senses. 
“Jake, look at me,” you utter, so faint that his non-compliance has you questioning if he heard you; if the drumming beat inside his body is overpowering his head, his ears, and your voice lacks the might to break through. 
But then, with great reluctance you can feel, he pulls back. 
You almost gasp. The green you love is too green. No longer the grassy hue of a shaded forest floor, but more vivid, like a single leaf from a single tree within that forest shining under morning’s sunlight. It seems odd—unfair—to only see such a stunning green when his eyes are glassy and surrounded by red.  
Don’t, you think. Don’t cry. Because then you’ll cry, perhaps sob, for the man who has spent so much of his time working to restore a bit of life into you. Had someone told you when you first moved in that he’d succeed, you would’ve brushed the idea under a rug and taped the edges and corners to the floor to keep yourself from neglecting the likelihood of being let down. But Jake doesn’t let you down. Jake was there and Jake is here, still here, and so are you.
“Why would I leave?” you ask, louder, clearer.
Jake’s gaze travels from your eyes to your nose to your mouth where it remains as he answers. “You said that’s what you do when–”
“When people break me.” The hand not above his heart cups his cheek. “Jake, you haven't broken me. You’re healing me,” you swear. “Ok? You're saving me.” 
Maybe it’s because you think of him so often, or that you’ve pictured his face enough to have memorized it, but you continue to see him perfectly through the blur of your tears, so much so that the blur goes unnoticed. When he should be an indistinguishable mass of fuzzy shapes and tan skin and blond hair, you see, as if completely unaffected, the sharp lines and smooth planes and sculpted features of his face.
He’s all you focus on. You don’t feel the tear that gets caught on your chin, or the second tear that joins the first, making it heavy enough to drip onto the floor. You do feel Jake’s thumb gently rubbing the salty trail into your cheek. 
“I'm not scared of her,” you continue. “I understand why you’d think I might be, but I’m not. She's not enough to change anything. She won’t make me leave.”
Everything slows after you’ve spoken. Painfully long seconds extend into a minute, during which your vision unblurs and the air surrounding you settles. Jake is silent, and you give him that time. He listened, and now he’s quiet—processing. It's when his eyes finally soften that you know he understands. He knows that what he feels for you is what you feel for him. 
His lips curve in a hint of a smile that encourages yours to do the same. 
“What?” you say.
He shakes his head and his forehead meets yours again. 
“I tell you something, you tell me something,” you remind him.
Jake hums as if he anticipated you calling out the deal he made with you that started it all. Bare heart for bare heart, that’s how it works, and though Jake has already expressed his fair share, you know he won’t deny you a little bit more. 
“You’re healing me too, beautiful,” he says, his nose nudging yours. “More than I knew I needed.”
---
Tags: @wkndwlff @kmc1989 @sagittarius-flowerchild @dempy @oliviah-25 @rosiahills22 @xoxabs88xox @matisse556 @hardballoonlove @lynnevanss @pono-pura-vida @tgmreader @amgluvsbooks @ravenhood2792 @djs8891 @shakespeareanwannabe @sailor-aviator @penguin876 @tgmavericklover @athenabarnes @emilyoflanternhill @wretchedmo @shanimallina87 @crowsreadsarahjmaas @mamachasesmayhem @sky2nd @jessicab1991 @rosedurin @averyhotchner @horseshoegirl @roosteraloha @elite4cekalyma @buckysteveloki-me @shelbycillian @kissmethric3 @fox-bee926 @hangmandruigandmav @waltermis @fandom-life-12 @a-serene-place-to-be @bruher @tngrace @mamaskillerqueen @emma8895eb @benedictsvestcollection @blackwidownat2814 @himbos-on-ice @hookslove1592 @alwaysclassyeagle @chaytea06
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hazbinhotelactorsau · 28 days
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alastor
« why'd i do tha'? well, cher, it was funny, i'm an asshole, and i don' like ya! »
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Name: Alastor Theodore LeBlanc
Nicknames: Al (by Charlie and Naomi), Dollface (by Antonio), Bambi (by everyone)
Height: 172cm (5'8)
Age: 33
Birthday: November 10 19XX
From: New Orleans, Louisiana
Nationality: Louisiana Arcadian (Cajun)
Languages: English, Cajun French which he pretends he's better at than he actually is (mostly knows pet names and threats/insults) (speaks with a heavy Yat accent)
Gender: Male (Intersex, Classic CAH)
Pronouns: Refers to himself with He/Him but does not care what others call him (he finds it amusing when people misgender him)
Sexuality: Cupioaroace
Partner: Antonio (Queerplatonic)
Famous For: True Crime Podcaster, Blogger and Interviewer for VOXfeed Unsolved
Plays: Alastor 'the Radio Demon'
Trivia:
originally, his character was named Andrew 'the Radio Demon' but he kept forgetting that he was supposed to answer to that name, and Blitzø thought 'Alastor' sounded more edgy anyway so they changed it to make it easier for him
his natural accent was considered too strong and 'too friendly sounding' so he learnt himself a transatlantic accent for the role. he tried to learn a queen's english accent and got absolutely obliterated for his horrible attempt by the brits in the cast
he loves fucking around with gender stereotypes and gender expression. he sometimes dabbles in drag which started purely as him being drawn to the showmanship of it but he found he actually enjoyed fucking around with his gender
he once dressed up in drag for an after party celebration and convinced a drunk oxley he was a new cast member for next season until he messed up and accidentally revealed himself. oxley didn't talk to him for a week after that
his hair is dyed red and naturally curly (a mix of 3A, 3B and some strands of 3C) which he gets from his mother. seeing his curls reminds him of her which makes him sad, so he straightens his hair most of the time to avoid getting upset. he still avoids looking in the mirror regardless though
has a soft spot for younger women (sees them as the little sister he always wanted) and thus is happy to cosplay with naomi and let victoria give him a makeover every now and then (and lecture him for his lack of hair care routine because "seriously, alastor, what the fuck do you mean you've been straightening your hair for two decades without any sort of care or routine?")
he is autistic and has adhd. he was prescribed adderall for his adhd but he never remembers to take it. he also has c-ptsd.
he was attacked by a neighbour's dog when he was 19 that left him with permanent nerve damage and a limp in his left leg. he sometimes uses a cane to help which is where his character got his microphone stand from. he's terrified of oxley's service dog because of what happened but he doesn't tell oxley because he doesn't want him to feel bad for needing an aid (the same way he uses a cane for aid)
he has freckles that he hides with makeup after lucas said he 'looks like a baby deer' which resulted in everyone giving him the nickname 'bambi' (which he pretends to hate but actually quite enjoys)
everyone finds him a bit creepy. one of his special interests is animal bones and taxidermy and he makes no effort to hide it from the others. he often gifts them little taxidermies or fossils or bones and often jokes that "y'all shouldn't be askin' wha' that is! y'all should be askin' who it is!"
fans think he's 'method acting' to play the role but the other cast members point out that "he's not method acting, that's just how he is. he's just. like that."
he isn't a serial killer or a cannibal but he loves to make jokes and leave hints that he is. he makes little snide comments that come across like he very much is a serial killer. the others can't tell if he's serious or not about it which he finds hilarious
he will do just about anything if he finds it funny enough. he thrives on fun and entertainment for himself. people are wary of him because he's known to be a prankster
despite his character, he doesn't smile that much off set. he's self-conscious of his smile and tends to reserve it only for antonio's eyes. he often complains about being cast as a character who smiles all the time (well, he complains about everything. he's a major complainer and everyone finds it hilarious and he would rather drop dead than admit to being whiny)
he's a huge fan of astrology because of antonio. he also got into tarot reading because a distant relative gifted him a tarot deck that definitely wasn't a regift one year. he enjoys doing readings for the others even if it's hard to resist messing with them (it's one of the few things he takes seriously)
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titansandothers · 1 year
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Story Snippet (Mad Mod and Terra)
(Part of a sequel story to something I haven’t even finished. For context: Mad Mod, through a strange series of events, technically adopted Tara, hoping to only do so temporarily until her new identity and life are sorted.) --- Mad Mod glowered down at the teen, arms tightly crossed across his chest. He took a deep breath through his nose and exhaled it in a long rumbling growl, lip curled into a deep sneer. Tara looked up at her guardian, brow quirked as she acted oblivious. "What did you call me in for?" "I'd tell you not to play dumb, but it seems you may genuinely be an idiot." The blonde's eyes widened a moment, before narrowing into a glare. "Excuse you?!" she retorted. "Excuse me?!" Mod recoiled before bending down to glare at her at her own eye level. "You stole from me!" There was a brief moment of panicked realization in her eyes before they narrowed again. "Whatever you think I stole, I didn't! You must have lost it!" She was lying through her teeth. "My late wife's golden emerald necklace? The first expensive gift I ever gave 'er? Oh, I take that out and move it around all the time! It's not like it's important to me and I keep it stored away for a reason! No!" If the concept wasn't ridiculous enough, he had video evidence of what she did. Tara shrunk down a great deal at his words, anger fizzling more into anxiety. Shit. She didn’t know it held sentimental value. The man was so rich, he could afford to replace anything with monetary value. Still, she wasn’t going to accept guilt. She could still get out of this and everything would be fine. “You… had a wife?” she asked quietly, genuinely curious and hoping to change the subject. If she could calm him down long enough to get out of the house, she could get his necklace back, hide it somewhere he could have plausibly lost or dropped it, and be off the hook! “Don’t change the subject,” he sneered. “N-no! I really want to know! You told me you had a life before your villainy, but you never really told me what. I was just… curious.” she spoke quietly, looking away. Mod’s eyes narrowed, looking down his nose at her. “Have you considered I never told you because I wasn’t comfortable enough with you yet?” ‘Yet,’ Tara noticed this word. Would he one day be comfortable enough to tell her? “You’re not learning anything now,” he huffed. “You’ve done a great deal on obliterating any trust I ‘ad in you.” It would seem not. Ouch. That really stung. The blonde was apparently close to having a proper bond with this man and she had just ruined it? This felt all too familiar... “So… I ruined another friendship?” she asked Mod, a weak smile on her lips as the tears formed in her eyes. There was a fleeting moment of worry when the Brit noticed her tears, but he was quickly back to his senses. “You are not the victim here,” he stated firmly. “You are facing the consequences of your own actions. You’ve already destroyed a city without punishment, but I will not allow you to escape any future repercussions.” So… he wasn’t going to let up... Well, since their relationship was already down the drain, she had no reason to appeal to him. If she was going to be miserable, she’d drag him right down with her. “And you aren’t doing the same thing?!” she barked, angry tears streaming down her cheeks. “You’re a villain! By choice! You’re choosing to stay a villain! You joined the Brotherhood of Evil!” “I didn’t have a choice!” Mod roared back in her face. Tara stood her ground and argued, “There’s always a choice!” “Oh! You’re right!” he laughed, but with no humor. “I’d almost forgotten! I really shouldn’t ‘ave made such a bad decision! I should ‘ave just told the Brotherhood ‘no’; allow them to go through with their threats of revealing your identity and ‘istory to all, to make sure your past would forever haunt you!” This couldn’t be happening! He had to be lying! He was a criminal! He could never have meant well! It was a lie! A lie! She didn’t ruin anything! “No!” Tara yelled, hands clamped over her head. “You’re a liar! You wouldn’t do something like that and not tell me! You’re telling me now because you made it up! You just want me to feel bad!” “Oh, that’s a riot,” Mod shook his head with a false smile. “I’m the liar? Coming from someone ‘o can’t even tell the truth about who she is? By the way, that wasn’t even a lie. Not letting you know was for your own good. I was trying to protect you. I can’t imagine why I’d ever want to do that.” “You’re the one who told me to leave my past behind…” she reminded, the fire in her words gone. “I made a mistake,” he stated bluntly. “I thought you would use your second chance to be a better person. You didn’t.” “...Are you going to take my second chance away?” Tara’s voice cracked. Mod let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you going to admit what you did, apologize, return what you stole, and face the consequences?” “...Yes,” she relented. “Go on,” he looked down at her, arms crossed once more.
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allegra-writes · 3 years
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“Heartfelt”
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Bar musician! Harry styles x Bartender!Reader
General audiences
Warnings: None
Just some Valentine's day fluff with our favorite green eyed boy. Dedicated to @gaycinnamonrollgirl for giving me the idea, and @tomsrebeleyebrow for patiently listening to me endlessly gush about Harry Styles and still being my friend. Happy belated Valentine's day 💖
"You don't have to say you love me
I just wanna tell you somethin'
Lately you've been on my mind..."
Adore you - Harry Styles
...Oh, she looks so good, oh, she looks so fine
And I got this crazy feeling that I'm gonna ah-ah…
"Bartender, my good friend! I'll have my usual and a plate of your finest chips, if you would be so kind"
It was closing time when Harry, the local musician, sat in front of you, elbows on the bar you were wiping down while humming to Patti Smith's "Gloria".
You raised an eyebrow at him, but the willowy man could see the slight tremble at the corner of your lips, a tell that you were suppressing a smile.
"I'm afraid the kitchen is closed, mister Styles. Sam left an hour ago."
"Yes yes, but I have it from a very good source he left you a big pile of leftover chips before he did," He accused, "you know, as he does every night..."
You frowned in confusion,
"I thought you hated cold fries. That you found them to be, and I quote, soggy and disgusting" 
"I guess you can say I acquired a taste for them" He shrugged, mischievous green eyes sparkling, "Just like you did for this lowlife songwriter in front of you and the heartfelt conversations you share with him" 
"Did you now?" There was an edge of scepticism in your voice, but you were already disappearing inside the kitchen. 
Harry's heart did a little jump as you didn't immediately deny liking him.
"Hey, Joe" he called out, "why don't you go home? I'll help Y/N close when we're done…" 
There was a deaf noise as a young waiter, the only person left in the bar beside the two of you, set the last chair on top of a table. 
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I got this" he reassured him, "did it dozens of times. Go home to your girl"
"Thanks, mate!" The second brit practically skipped on his way to the backroom, but turned around just before reaching the door. "Listen, you know I like you, but if you hurt y/n in any way…"
Harry smiled, genuinely. He could never get mad at anyone that protective of you.
"You know where I live. Pick my sister on the way, though. I think she would like to join you."
Joe rolled his baby blues,
"I know you're not a creep. I meant her heart"
"Yeah, me too…"
Whatever your friend saw inside Harry's eyes was enough to convince him. He nodded and left, as the musician got up to lock the front door and turn the "open" sign off. 
If you noticed Joe's absence at your return, you didn't comment on it, simply setting the giant pile of chips and two cans of cherry cola you were carrying, down in front of Harry, who had returned to his seat. 
"Ah, you always have the good stuff!" the sigh that left his lips as he took the first sip of the soda was not unlike the one any of your regulars made after the first taste of something strong after a hard day. 
"Rough night?" 
"Kind of. Good show though, so at least I have that going on for me…" 
"It really was, I'm actually impressed" You had to confess, "And surprised too, it was a bold choice going acoustic on a night like this, with such a big audience," So many people had gathered to see the show that the bouncer had to start rejecting people so you wouldn't have trouble with the fire department "but it definitely worked" 
There was a slight blush on the singer's cheeks when he replied, far more humble than you were used to,
"Well, you know, Valentine's day and all that. The band, all have boyfriends and girls they wanted to spend the evening with…"
You tilted your head,
"And you didn't?" It was hard to believe, when almost every night he played there you would see him leave with a different, always sculptural, painfully perfect girl. Or man. 
Harry didn't reply, choosing instead to stuff his face with stale fries.
"Alright then" You raised your shoulder in surrender, "keep your secrets…"
He squinted in disbelief,
"Did you just quoted The Lord of the Rings at me?"
"Did you just recognize my Lord of the rings quote?" You countered.
"You are such a nerd!"
"Look who's talking, chicken little!" You gestured at his powder blue sweater with a yellow baby chick at the front and herringbone pants. 
"Oi!" His manchester accent popped out, like it always did whenever he lost his cool "I'll have you know, this is Gucci"
You scoffed,
"That doesn't make it any better, it just means that you spent a shit load of money to look like my third grade teacher, mister Harrington!" 
"Ok, first of all," he countered, "your teacher sounds awesome and second-"
An inelegant snort escaped your mouth. Harry's emerald eyes pinned you down. 
"Second of all, you're no one to talk either, kitten hoodie" 
You could feel the heat creeping up your cheeks. Praying he couldn't see your blush in the dim light, you took a mouthful of soda to cool you down. 
For a moment, none of you said anything, the sweet notes of Fleetwood Mac's "Dreams" the only thing filling the silence.
… Players only love you when they're playing
Women, they will come and they will go...
"Listen, y/n-"
"If I'm being honest-" 
He chuckled,
"I'm sorry, ladies first" 
"Now I'm not sure if I wanna tell you…"
"Come on" A grown ass man pouting should not be that cute, "I want to know"
You feigned a long suffering sigh,
"Fine, if you must know- If you must know, I actually like your new style. It's way better than that... rock and roll cliche... thing you had going on when we first met" You gestured vaguely in the direction of his body, "You know, the long hair, black clothes, doc boots…" 
He flinched, 
"Ugh, Don't remind me. I was trying too hard back then. And not only with my clothes, with my music too"
"Oh, yeah, I remember. All you used to sing about was" You chose your words carefully, "frisky girls and being horny…" 
"Well, to be fair, I still sing about being horny"
"Yeah, but now you're…"
You trailed off, unsure of how you could explain the difference, the change in your feelings towards his music, without explaining the change in your feelings towards the man that made it.
However, Harry would not let it go that easy. He was used to you being sharp, opinionated, guarded. Now there was a crack on that armour, and he wanted to see what was underneath it. 
You hadn't even realized how close you had leaned into each other until his hot breath fanned over your face.
"Now I'm what, y/n?"
More real. More mature. More emotional, as if he had finally found the link, made the connection between sex and love. 
"More open"
Harry smiled,
"Open. Yeah, I like that…"
So close. He was so close now, his malaquite eyes were out of focus. So close you could feel his magnetic field, the gravity of his atoms pulling in yours.
"Harry…" 
Never in his twenty seven years of life and over ten as a musician, had he heard a more beautiful sound than his name, breathlessly falling from your lips.
"Yes?" He murmured, lips ghosting over your soft, perfect ones.
"No"
"No?"
"No" You repeated, more firmly, taking a step back, putting as much space between the two of you as possible, "I know what this is"
"And what is this, y/n" To your surprise, he didn't sound mad, or demanding. He sounded confused and sad. Dissapointed but unsurprised, as if he had expected it to go south or… never had dared expect it would actually happen at all. 
"A bad idea" You explained, "with guys like you, is always the same: You have beautiful women throwing themselves at you every night. And you take them home with you cause why wouldn't you? You are young, and free and hot. There is nothing wrong with taking what's being offered" 
"Y/n-"
"I'm not saying it's your fault" You went on, ignoring him, "And I'm not saying you don't fall in love, sometimes. But that's the exception, not the rule, and I… I'm the kind of girl that's the rule. Not the exception"
Harry had always thought the worst that could happen to him was losing your friendship. Finally making a move, a real move, and getting rejected by you. He thought that was the definitive pain, the one that would obliterate him, if things were not to work out. And he was almost certain they would not work out. 
But sitting there, in front of you, separated by a wooden bar that might as well have been the great wall of china as you stood there, arms around yourself, small and defenseless as you explained to him all the reasons why you wouldn't allow yourself to love him… that was way worse. 
"What if you already were my exception?" He blurted out, before he could stop himself, "What if I was in love with you?"
You laughed, bitterly.
"Harry, I'm not even your type. I've seen you leave night after night with models and socialites and actors, each one more surreally stunning than the last one…" You didn't have a bad self esteem, you didn't. You considered yourself attractive, but the people Harry usually went for were on a whole different level.
"Yes, but that's only because the most absolutely perfect woman in the world for me, keeps me at arm's length!" He rubbed his face in frustration, "And it's so maddening, so fucked up, the way I can't even get away from her long enough to get over her, because even the pain of seeing her every night knowing I can't touch what I see, that I will never have her, is better than the pain of being away from her. 
So I keep on taking home the hottest people I can find hoping they will keep me distracted long enough to fill the hours until I can see her again… until I can-"
"What the hell are you talking about?" Never, in all the time you had known each other, had Harry given you a single signal indicating he had any kind of feelings for you. Your relationship had always consisted of friendly banter and quip battles. Sure, you could get flirty sometimes, but you were a bartender, flirting was pretty much your customer service voice, and he was a musician, he would flirt with his own shadow if he could.
Harry opened his mouth to explain, but a familiar melody started coming from the still working speakers.
Walk in your rainbow paradise
Strawberry lipstick state of mind…
"Hey, this is my song!" You didn't quite understand why he seemed so marveled, "You never added any of my songs to your playlist before!"
Oh. Oh.
"Yeah, well" Harry could now clearly see your darkened cheeks as you stumbled over your words, "I guessed I never liked one of your songs so much before" 
This time, he was the one blushing and avoiding your eyes.
"What would you say if I told you-... If I told you I wrote this one for you?"
"I'd say you're full of shit" You scoffed, "Didn't you tell me you only ever wrote about girls you had dated?"
"No," he corrected, "I said I only ever wrote about women that had broken my heart…"
"How did I break your heart?"
Harry sighed. Your walls were back up, higher than ever, and he didn't know how to break through them. It wasn't your fault -and had it been your fault, truth was he could never blame you either, there was something about you that made it physically impossible for him to get mad at you- you spoke from experience, he didn't need to unlock the secrets of your past, didn't need the details. It was obvious you had been burned before, and though he hated it, hated them for whatever they had done to you, he couldn't fault you for trying to protect yourself.
Not when he wanted to protect you too. 
"You didn't like me, back when we first met"
"Harry-"
"No, it's ok. You didn't like me, and you were right not to like me. I know you probably didn't realize it but, that first time you rejected me, when I flirted with you that very first night and you rolled your eyes at me… you changed my life"
"What? How??"
"You weren't wrong, I was a cliche. And I was trying way too hard, to be cool, act like a rockstar… but you took a look at that guy, at that though, playboy, sex, drugs and rock 'n roll guy… and you hated him" Harry snickered. You didn't understand what about all that was so funny, "I had created that guy so that everyone would like him, and you hated him. And the funny thing is-" He finally met your eye. No, he caught your eye and imprisoned them, "The funny thing is, you hating me for what I wasn't, somehow allowed me to start being myself a little bit more, because if you already disliked me… then I had nothing to lose" 
You didn't quite know what to say to that.
His bright green eyes were unable to face yours, choosing instead to focus on the palms he was picking at,
"Is that why you… uhm…" You pointed at his sweater.
"Yup" He admitted, "I showed up here one day, on laundry day, in one of my old nerdy sweater vests and you smiled, when you saw it"
"I remember that!" You chuckled, "It was the brown striped one, it almost looked like a crop top, cause it obviously didn't fit anymore"
Harry nodded,
"I may have had a couple grow spurts since I got that in high school" 
"Ok, but, you made it work somehow…" 
"Thank you. The point is…" he turned serious again, his deep, rich voice even more hypnotic than usual. Or maybe it was just you, for the first time allowing yourself to enjoy it without reservations. "The point is, you didn't like cool Harry, but you liked the real me. Even if just a little bit, and that meant the world to me. I… I adored you because of it. So I wrote a song for you, cause even if I couldn't say it to your face, I had to get it out. Just like I had to get this out tonight"
He opened his arms wide, in his typical ta-da gesture, sad, resigned smile on his face, before getting up from his stool, grabbing his jacket and guitar case.
"You don't have to say anything, I don't expect you to love me back" He declared, "I just- I thought I'd let you know. Valentine's day and all that."
He turned to leave, his own voice still signing in the background,
I'd walk through fire for you, just let me adore you
 Oh, honey…
"Harry, wait!" You almost fell on your face, trying to jump over the bar, but managing to stop him right before he reached the door. His poorly concealed smirk told you he might have seen your little show, but you didn't care.
"Did you mean it? That you'd do anything for me?" 
"I did" He confirmed, earnestly, "I still do. Anything you want, just say the word"
"Well then," you took a step towards him, that he mirrored without even noticing, "what about a date? A daytime date. At a public place." You clarified. Harry did smirk at that.
"What's the matter, afraid you won't be able to keep your hands off me?" He teased, leaning closer. 
"Don't ruin this, Styles" You warned, raising to your tiptoes to meet him eye to eye.
His smile faltered, replaced by the most sincere intensity you had ever seen on his handsome face,
"Wouldn't dream of it, bartender" He whispered, before capturing your lips with his.
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dramaphan · 3 years
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I just want a video of them absolutely obliterating Shane Dawson. He somehow still has followers, I want him to be even more run into the ground.
God, there’s so many people they could go after. Shane, onision, the psychic twins, their own fucking Brit pack of ex youtube buddies... their own goddamn audience 💀 just start pulling names out of a hat. Make a series of it.
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Text
Chapter Nine: Baby You’re A Firework
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In some ways life had become easier for Ashley since her pregnancy was leaked to the press, she could freely walk Daisy to school each morning without having to wear the baggiest jumper she could find. She was also inundated with kind messages from other women, who like her were raising children as a young adult, she finally felt ready for her baby’s arrival. Knowing the baby was due to come any day, Daisy was behaving more angelic, perhaps in an attempt to make Ashley’s life easier, or maybe it was to ensure she wasn’t forgotten about when the baby arrived. “”Mummy, when the baby comes will I still be it’s big sister?” Daisy asked as the pair walked to school.
“What do you mean Dais?” Ashley asked.
“Harry isn’t my Dad is he? But he’s the baby’s daddy.” Daisy replied.
“You’ll still be the baby’s big sister darling, in fact you’ll be the best big sister ever.” Ashley assured her. 
“I promise I will be mummy.” Daisy smiled as they approached the school gates.
“Be a good girl today poppet, and remember we’ve got Lou and Lux’s fireworks tonight.” Ashley told her, holding her tight in the warmest of hugs.
“Love you mummy!” Daisy cried before running through the school gates.
“She’s a sweetheart,” One of the mums beside Ashley remarked.
“I don’t know where she gets it from, I was a little tear away at that age.” Ashley replied.
“Surely it’s her dad, he is a national treasure after all.” The lady smiled.
Although Harry wasn’t Daisy’s biological father, the whole world just assumed he was, he loved her like she was his own, and for Ashley that was enough.
“So do you feel ready for the new baby?” Gemma and Ashley had planned to shop for bits for the baby, but the british weather has other ideas. They’d managed to find shelter in a small vegan coffee shop in the back streets of Hampstead. It was one of those cool instagrammable places with hanging ivy trailing across ceiling beams and pink neon light signs.
“It’s less scary this time, even though Harry won’t be there for the birth, I know he’s going to be the best dad.” Ashley replied, sipping on her hot chocolate.
“Definitely, he’s finally mastered flat pack furniture, he’s set up a little nursery in the room next to his.” Gemma smiled.
“You know a mum at the school gates referred to Harry as Daisy’s dad, but I didn’t correct her. Because it felt right.” Ashley told her.
“Daisy will always be his world, we both know that.” Gemma assured her.
“Yeah, she adores him.” Ashley replied.
“And he adores you. He’d move heaven and earth for you if he had to. Where did it go wrong for you two? You were so good together.”
“Maybe we were always just destined to be best friends, and nothing more.” Ashley sighed.
“Ash, I’ve seen the way you look at each other, even at your house when the pregnancy got leaked, he could’ve easily contacted Jeff to protect his reputation and let us look after you, but he went straight to you. For Harry, it will only ever be you.” Gemma explained, she knew her brother better than anyone else, she knew they were right for each other since they were kids. She saw Harry’s face on the day of Ashley’s prom, when she was a bridesmaid at Anne's wedding and when she was on his arm at the Brits, he adored her and he cherished her. If Gemma could put the way Harry felt about Ashley into bottles and sell it, she would, because no matter what happened, or what anyone said, he would only really ever have eyes for Ashley.
It was late in the evening, thankfully the rain had held off, Ashley and Daisy were at Lou’s house for a small bonfire night gathering, the kids were playing in the garden, toasting marshmallows on the bonfire with Lux’s dad Tom, while the mums sat in the kitchen eating the leftovers of the takeaway pizza the kids had obliterated. “So when are you due Ash?” Lou’s sister Sam asked.
“I was due for halloween, but clearly this one enjoys it in there more than Daisy did.” Ashley told her, she knew the baby would come soon as every so often she’d feel a little flutter or a kick in her ribs.
“Have you got any names?” Lottie asked, from across the table.
“There’s a couple, if it’s a girl I love the idea of another flower name to match Daisy, and if its a boy, there's a few nature related names I love.” Ashley had one name in mind, regardless of whether it was a boy or a girl, she wasn’t planning on telling anyone yet, but she knew it would be a name Harry would love and hold close to his heart forever.
All the other parents and children had left, Lux and Daisy were curled up on the sofa drinking hot chocolate while they watched a movie on the TV. “Hey Dais, what are you watching?” Ashley asked as she poked her head around the living room door.
“It’s my Harry.” Daisy whispered, Ashley looked at the screen to see Harry and the boys performing at the O2, the girls had chosen to watch the One Direction movie, a film that captured so many moments that Ashley held close to her heart.
“Do you think I made a mistake?” Ashley asked Lou as she returned to the kitchen.
“What do you mean?” Lou asked, Ashley raised her eyebrows, “You mean Harry don’t you?”
Before Ashley could explain her epiphany the sharpest shooting pain hit her spine.
She gripped onto Lou’s marble top counter, “It’s happening Lou, the baby’s coming.”
“Are you sure?” Lou asked.
“That’s definitely a contraction Lou.” Ashley winced, “Why do I only go into labour in kitchens?” 
“Tom’s out the back, I’ll ask him to stay with the girls, Daisy can stay here tonight. Where’s the baby bag?” Lou replied.
“In the hallway, in the cupboard under the stairs.” Ashley told her.
“Ok I’ll grab that and call us an uber, you sit down and I’ll tell Gem to meet us there too.” Lou instructed her.
Ashley pulled out her phone, ringing Harry, even though she knew full well he would be on set filming, “Hey Harry,” She winced as it began recording her voicemail, “It seems as though our little one is on it’s way into the world, Daisy’s in safe hands, she’s watching This Is Us with Lux, she is so proud of you H. I know you’ll worry but don’t because Lou is taking me to the hospital and Gem said she’ll meet us there. I’ve been a bitch these past few months, I should’ve let you in, but we both know that after the way other people have treated me before, that being open and vulnerable scares the shit out of me. I want you in the baby’s life and I want you in mine, frankly at this point I don’t care what capacity it's in, because you mean the world to me Harry, you’ve been the one constant source of happiness in my life since the day we met. From the day my dad died and you slept beside me because you were scared of what I might do to myself, when I had my first period and you spent your pocket money on a box of all my favourite things and when you were like a father to Daisy, that meant more than anything else ever could. Whatever happens between us Harry, whether we parent our baby as best friends, or whether we grow old and grey together, I will always be your golden girl.”
Compared to Daisy’s birth, this one was a walk in the park, Ashley was sat up in the hospital bed, already fully dilated and the nurses had given her the epidural to relieve some of the pain. “Right Ash, it looks like this baby isn’t hanging around, shall we get going?” The midwife said as she pulled on her surgical gloves. Lou had returned home to the girls, but Gemma stayed by Ashley’s side, holding onto her hand for reassurance. “When you’re ready Ash, I need you to push on the next contraction.” The midwife instructed her, “You are sensational Ash! That's the head delivered, I need you to push really hard to get this little one’s shoulders out now.”
“I am never letting your brother get me pregnant again.” Ashley huffed to Gemma after pushing through another agonising contraction.
“This baby is a chunky one Ash, I need you to give me one last almighty push, use every last bit of energy you have to push it out.” Ashley used every muscle in her body to push the baby out as hard as she could, until the once silent room was filled with the shrill cries of her new baby. “Congratulations Ash, you’ve got a little boy.” The midwife cut the umbilical cord and immediately placed him on Ashley’s chest.
“Hello little man, aren’t you a beauty?” Ashley whispered, a single tear of pride rolling down her cheek.
“He’s perfect Ash,” Gemma smiled, “You were incredible.” 
“Welcome to the world baby Robin.” Ashley whispered, already completely infatuated with her new baby.
“Robin?” Gemma smiled.
“I adored your stepdad, when we lost my dad he was always there for me, he always looked out for me, and I know how much Harry loved him, and it’s the only name that feels fully suited to him.”
Ashley was in love, her brand new baby boy lay sound asleep in her arms, his delicate little hands poking out of the sleeves of his baby grow. Gemma had gone home to get some sleep, which Ashley had encouraged her to do, so now it was just the two of them in the little hospital room. Ashley’s phone began to buzz and she picked it up to see Harry’s face, “Hello stranger.” Ashley grinned.
“Is everything alright? I got your voicemail.” Harry asked from the comfort of his trailer.
“Everything’s great you could even say perfect,” Ashley whispered, “Do you want to meet him?” 
“Him? We’ve got a little baby boy?” Harry replied, a smile stretching from cheek to cheek.
“This is our little baby boy, Robin.” Ashley told him.
“Robin? You know Mum is going to adore that, and I adore him too, thank you for naming him that.” Harry smiled.
“It only felt right, I think I always knew that’s what I’d call him, it just seemed to make sense.” Ashley replied, staring at her little boy in adoration. “He’s way bigger than Dais was, he weighed almost double what she weighed when she arrived.” 
“She’s going to love him.” Harry whispered, “I can’t wait until I can see you all in person again, I miss you all like mad.” 
“We miss you too.”
Robin made Ashley feel truly complete, it was the following morning and she had just changed into a comfier t-shirt and joggers, along with one of Harry’s tour hoodies. Robin was sleeping peacefully in his little cot, having just been fed, as she sent Harry yet another picture of their little boy, a little person popped their head around the door. “Hello Mummy,” She heard a whisper. 
She looked over to see Daisy, holding a balloon and a gift bag with Lou beside her, “Hello my best girl, how are you?” Ashley crouched down, greeting her daughter with open arms, “I’ve missed you so much angel.”
“I’ve been very good, Lou made us special pancakes for breakfast.” Daisy told her.
“That’s lovely,” Ashley smiled, “Thank you so much for having her Lou.”
“It’s no problem really, she is an absolute sweetheart.” Lou replied.
“Daisy, would you like to meet your little brother?” Ashley asked, Daisy nodded in response as Ashley lifted Robin out of the cot. “This our little baby Robin.” 
“Like my Grandad Robin?” Ashley was taken aback, she wasn’t sure if Daisy remembered him, but everyone loved to talk about him fondly, so Daisy must just have picked up on it, it melted Ashley’s heart that Daisy called him her grandad.
“Yes Dais, just like Grandad Robin.” For once it seemed as if life made complete sense, Ashley had two beautiful children who she loved more than anything else, and finally she knew exactly how she felt about Harry.
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danwhobrowses · 3 years
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WWE Wrestlemania 37 Day 2 - Review
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And we are back! Wrestlemania hit hard with Day 1, good shit and big moments fitting of the show
So let's see if Day 2 can match up to it, lots of big matches on the card, we'll see how it goes.
See the Night 1 Review Here
Spoilers for Night 2 and References to Night 1 included, you have been Warned
Pre-Show Like the last Night, no matches on the Pre-Show, just drivel and promos. So the same criticisms really, Lawler saying 'Wrestlerainia' doesn't make it any better than when Cole said it, his attempts at jokes were awful even when they were his material. When they recapped Night 1 though they should've shown footage of Ford celebrating with Bianca rather than just say it - a Picture says a Thousand Words. Standard Promo Package lies apply too, 'Rhea Ripley has brutalized everyone she's come through' ...except Io Shirai and Raquel Gonzalez, similar went down for the second half of HOF because Great Khali is only there to pander to India - also what did the Mayor of Knox County ever do for WWE? Sonya also popped up again, strangely to talk about the Nigerian Drum Fight - which Booker T talked about the most, if I wanted to watch a bunch of old dudes talk over Sonya Deville I'd be drinking bleach. She also stuck for Sami vs KO, and barely talked in that too.
Also the promo they had about Kofimania was rough to watch, considering how it ended and how Kofi fared on Night 1, all this to promote a cheesy Cricket commercial about him not touching the ground...
The 24/7 title even got a continuation of ads, but it was more a 'to be concluded on Youtube' - honestly the belt has run its course, Truth has ran out of jokes and it's been reduced to an Old Spice ad crossover.
Main Card Starting once more with 'America the Beautiful', replacing the boob window with a bright yellow hat. It was fine, as a Brit 'America the Beautiful' does nothing for me.
They then did the same intro package as night 1 just with some different clips, skippable. And the shoddy camera switching is still there.
Hogan and Titus came out again this time in pirate outfits, there was noticeable boos in Hogan's bits with cheesy pirate puns. In the end the host concept was wasted on them. Reminder that names in Bold are those I predicted to win.
Randy Orton def. The Fiend [w/Alexa Bliss] (Pinfall via RKO) Orton opened night 2 in white tights and a fairy long-winded entrance, the melted Fiend then walked through a corridor of fire LEDs as CGI burned away into his original Fiend look...but Alexa's Firefly Funhouse music hit. Cutesy Bliss approached a giant Jack in a Box commentary act like just 'appeared'. The Fiend arose from the box in a combat vest, posed then dove right at Orton. Red lights cover the match throughout, Uranage and a neck snap started the match as the Fiend continued to do his spooky thing, it looks like he was gonna set up the punt but Randy rolls out of the ring. Randy hits the back body slam on the Announcer's Desk but it's no sold into the Mandible Claw, rope break and apron DDT from Orton only staggers the Fiend but rebounding his neck off the ropes grounds him momentarily. Orton tries to methodically beat down the Fiend but the monster hits back hard, a missed Senton and a senton follows some head kicks and another apron DDT, he sets up for an RKO but the Fiend gets the Mandible Claw (which commentary no sold even though he has won titles with that move), he sets up Sister Abigail but the ring posts pyro like Kane and before Fiend is Bliss with new makeup, dripping in black goo she extends her hand to the Fiend from the jack in the box, RKO and...3!? Post match Fiend and Alexa stare down, the electricity shorts out and both members disappear.
That's it? That's what we got? The Fiend was burned alive and survived but 1 RKO does it? The Fiend no sold so much in his career and one RKO felled him. The fuck man, this was as bad as the last time these two went at mania, you'd think like the brilliant Firefly Funhouse Match last year we'd get some course correction. But nope, Fiend's story is just being taken over by Alexa and this daft-ass black goo stuff, I don't get the motivation either. Fiend helped Alexa straddle Orton for a 3 count at Fastlane, talked all big for months about how the Fiend was going to obliterate Orton and it lasted about 8 minutes, the entrances lasted longer! Last year the Fiend was great with a cinematic match, but WWE have somehow managed to systematically destroy one of their most inventive characters time and time again, not a good start.
Backstage once again Bayley gets buried by the Hosts and this time Eric Bischoff as she tried to push Ding Dong Hello and got jealous of them talking up Bianca vs Sasha from last night.
WWE Women's Tag Championship - Shayna Baszler & Nia Jax (c) def. Natalya & Tamina (Ref Stoppage Submission by Baszler on Natalya via Kirufuda Clutch) Not a promising sign to follow the opener with this match, the challengers entered quickly with Natalya having a slightly altered attire. Jax and Baszler came in with red, black and gold. Natalya and Baszler start the match with some mat wrestling, Natalya almost gets the Sharpshooter so Shayna tags Nia in, Nia shoves Natalya and demands that Tamina - her old tag partner - be tagged in. Both trade headbutts, Tamina almost lifts Nia but fails, she tags in Natalya for the double back body drop and drops the blind tagged Shayna onto her partner. Natalya tries a Sharpshooter but is schoolboy'd for 2, Natalya retaliates with a German Suplex, whipping Shayna into a Clothesline, then launch pad into a superkick. As Shayna strikes back an advantage she stiffs Natalya in the mouth with a knee (legitimately, there was a picture of a welt before) Nia brawls with Tamina outside, hitting a powerslam outside of the ring. Another knee strike floors Natalya for 2 as Shayna works on the leg, kneebar and then an ankle stomp, Nia follows up with a Legdrop over the injured leg, another kneebar and then combos of swing/knee strike and irish whip/powerslam. Nia runs into the turnbuckle as Natalya floors Nia with multiple lariat attempts, Nia though hits back with a Chokeslam/Powerbomb thing they called a Spinebuster but the pin is broken by Tamina. Tamina gets the hot tag against Shayna, Baszler tries to weaken the leg, then the Kirufuda clutch but Tamina powers into a Samoan Drop. She goes up for a Superfly Splash but Shayna kicks her, Nia looks to do an Avalanche Samoan Drop but Natalya pulls Tamina away, she lariats Baszler but Nia hits the crossbody on both opponents for 2, favouring the knee after. Talking trash to Tamina she gets hit with a slam, Nia's repositioning couldn't be missed by the wide shot as Tamina goes for the Superfly Splash, but nobody home. Natalya's tagged and she goes for Baszler in the corner, Baszler counters and blind tags as Nia lifts Natalya up, but she wriggles out, floors Baszler again and sets the Sharpshooter on the now not legal Nia. Baszler cinches in the Kirufuda clutch and the match is over.
The fact that this was more eventful than the opener speaks volumes. It was a match, I don't think there's many people who feel like Nia and Shayna deserve this spot. Shayna was great in NXT but she's not doing herself any favours stiffing her opponents, Nia's rubbing off in a bad way. I had the challengers to win because I'm bored of them still being champions - only briefly giving it to Asuka and Charlotte so Charlotte can add that to her list - they should've either dropped to NXT or let the Riott Squad win, there was nothing in this match to invest in.
Rey Mysterio is used to promote 2K22. A surprise since we thought WWE and 2K's partnership was done, I am a huge fan of Rey so it was nice to see, much nicer if he was actually on Wrestlemania and getting a push...
Kevin Owens def. Sami Zayn [w/Logan Paul] (Pinfall via Stunner) JBL is the guest commentator for this...for some reason. Sami struts to the ring in dark green trying to pull off a Che Guevara look, a mini tantrum at the ramp before heading to the ring and grabbing the mic to introduce Logan Paul, who walks to the ring as Sami dances super embarrassingly in the ring. Owens then charges into the ring with vigor to get the crowd amped up. The bell rings, Sami tries the Helluva Kick and gets hit with a Pop-Up Powerbomb. KO punishes Sami in the start, dropping Sami gut-first on the ropes, corner clothesline and Cannonball as the camera awkwardly keeps cutting to Logan Paul. Sami gets a suplex on the apron to get back some momentum as he demands for Owens to be counted out, Owens rolls in at 8 but Sami continues to club at KO's head. Cole calls a Michinoku Driver a Blue Thunder Bomb but this time gets called out on it, pinfall is 2 and Sami gets into the ref's face. Attempted Superplex leads to a fistfight in the corner, Owens headbutts him off and Frog Splashes for 2, tries the Pop-Up powerbomb, Sami leapfrogs, Sami tries the Michinoku Driver but Owens reverses it into a meaty Pumphandle Neckbreaker for 2. He goes for the Package Piledriver but Sami hits the corner exploder, tries for the Helluva Kick but misses, KO tries the Stunner but it's reversed into a Blue Thunder Bomb for 2 as well. Two Exploders and a Brainbuster for 2 frustrates Sami further, brawling in the corner, he tries for a Superplex but gets hit with an Avalanche twisting Fisherman's Suplex. KO hits Sami with some corner clotheslines but as he runs to bounce off the other corner he runs into a Helluva Kick, Sami catching his collapsed friend as he sets it up again, 2 Superkicks from Owens and a Stunner finishes Sami off as Logan Paul applauds. Post-Match Logan checks on Sami and congratulates Owens, which Sami takes umbrage with. Logan shoves Sami as he storms off, Logan holds KO's arm in the air to boos, cheers start to rumble as Paul is hit with a stunner to a pop.
KO and Sami rarely disappoints, I don't think they really got to get out of second gear but it was still a good match. The Logan Paul stuff though was stupid and unnecessary, sure we got him to eat a Stunner but the ends don't justify the means. Also why was JBL there?
Backstage Riddle scooters across to Great Khali, stoner comedy doesn't land as Khali no sells it, RVD shows up to wish Riddle luck. Segment was meh.
US Championship - Sheamus def. Riddle (c) (Pinfall via Brogue Kick TITLE CHANGE!) Sheamus arrives blinding white but no special gear, Riddle scooters down in an Evil Knievel jacket, hologram doves with pirate hats and eyepatches adding to the cheese. Sheamus uses his power to start, but Riddle comes back with some chops, Sheamus hits back in each of his attempts; knee to the gut, then driving Riddle's sleeper in the corner, then a reversal swinging slam. Irish Curse gets 2, Riddle tries a Tarantula Armbreaker but Sheamus hits his Beats of Bodhran, he goes up high but Riddle reverses with a Spanish Fly Belly to Belly on the top turnbuckle. Riddle rallies with strikes, hits a Pele Kick and a Senton, to slight Goldberg Riddle hits the Jackhammer on the second time of trying but only gets 2. He tries the Bro Derek but Sheamus rolls back, Riddle kicks Sheamus away but in his slingshot lands into a Brogue Kick, 1, 2, No. Alabama Slam, 1, 2, No. He tries a White Noise on the Apron but gets pushed into the Ring Post and then German's on the Apron. An Apron PK and Moonsault keeps Sheamus down enough for Riddle to hit the Twisting Moonsault, he locks in the Reverse armbar but it's reversed into a deadlift powerbomb, Riddle then latches the sleeper for the rope break. Sheamus tries again for a Top Rope White Noise, Riddle tries to Sunset Bomb but fails, Riddle tries the Spanish Fly Belly to belly again but Sheamus grabs him. A stumble means that the two hop off the Turnbuckle for a normal White Noise, Sheamus goes up with a Knee Drop but it only hits 2. Sheamus calls for the Brogue, gets rolled up but catches the Knee strike, Riddle dodges the lariat, goes for a Springboard Moonsault but lands into the Brogue, 1, 2, 3. Post match Riddle is bleeding from the mouth, he angrily stares at the gleeful Sheamus who leaves with the title.
A good title match and much deserved from Sheamus, who has delivered in many matches on the later stages of of the Wrestlemania year, shame he was on the wrong brand to complete the set, he only needs the IC title to win everything. Riddle doesn't do it for me in this gimmick (which as I gather is mostly himself stoned) but credit where it's due, he put a good performance and that was a strong finish.
An odd package followed where Triple H handed Bad Bunny a golden briefcase with a skull microphone, which he opened atop his truck. The briefcase says Tour 2022 to promote his future tour.
Nigerian Drum Fight for the IC Title - Apollo Crews def. Big E (c) (Pinfall via Dabba Kato Chokeslam TITLE CHANGE!) The promo really hurt my ears to hear Apollo's accent devolve into this foreign heel gimmick. Wale though performs to enter Big E, more questionable camera cuts to E and the Fireworks. E's jacket represented Feeding Tampa Bay as a nice nod to the food bank, Apollo came out in Nigerian colors with his scarf and Spear. Commentary's line saying 'this isn't about percussion' falls kinda flat when there's drums around the ring.
Both men roll out to grab Kendo sticks, trading blows which E gets the power advantage over. E grabs the giant cymbal but Apollo knees it away, hits E with some more Kendo Shots back into the ring. You can hear the WAFT of Apollo's missed shot as E knocks him away and then does the out-of-ring spear. E sets up the lower steps near the apron but gets hit with a DVD on the apron, pinfall gets 2. Crews grabs the top half of the steps, lays E on the one he sets up and throws the other steps at it, but E rolls away just in time. On the apron Apollo hits a big boot, but on the second attempt falls into an Uranage onto the flat steps (which Cole called an Uranage Suplex for some reason...), after some trash talking E gets a table set up in the ring near a corner. Apollo kicks back and flurries E with a Kendo Stick, he rolls E onto the table to go for the frog splash, but E rolls away sending Apollo crashing through the table. E hits the Big Ending, but Dabba Kato/Babatunde in a military jacket breaks the pin, a sorta Samoan Spike and a Chokeslam leads to him dragging Apollo onto E for the win. Apollo gets a lot of unnecessary pyro and shakes his new comrade's hand.
Bit short that, the gimmick didn't really come into play. I mean, I'm glad Apollo gets a chance to hold another title and E can look towards the top of the card but I don't think this was really the way to do it. It didn't need to be a 'Nigerian Drum Fight', could've just been a No DQ, Dabba Kato gets his third repackaging since Greatest Royal Rumble probably as Apollo's 'General' which is kinda no different to what AJ and Omos are doing just with more foreign heel-isms. But yeah, bit disappointing on the means of it but the outcome was right, just...kinda stop faking a thick accent it's getting you nowhere acting like you're on the set of Black Panther.
Again we look back at Night 1, this time with minor clips of Ford congratulating his wife, but should've been a segment on its own rather than a flash-through recap. Stone Cold Mania 38 Texas promo and the HOF promo they did on this Pre-Show happens again which is unnecessary but the hologram of a ghost ship was cool, the HOFers come out and Kane gets the entrance, he does his pyro and that's it - that's how you do it, Hogan.
Raw Women's Championship - Rhea Ripley def. Asuka (c) (Pinfall via Riptide TITLE CHANGE!) THIS IS MY BRUTALITY! performed live as Rhea wastes no time coming out, leather biker outfit this time, no Vegeta costume. Silly camera cuts to Rhea and the Singer AGAIN though, stop it WWE it's distracting. Asuka dances down the ring in a bit of a Jason mask, but the camera keeps cutting to Rhea which is off-putting. Also commentary on 'she has never seen Rhea Ripley up close and personal', they were in a tag match together a week and a half ago and in Survivor Series 2019 she faced her in Team NXT as part of Team RAW, seriously WWE...
Asuka starts hot with her athleticism, dropkicks, rebounds and rollups met with more shoddy camera cuts, Rhea leaves the ring to take a moment as Asuka taunts her, she baits Asuka out of the ring as she rolls in but her leg is caught, pop-up knee strike returns Rhea to the ring but she misses the hip attack, gifting Rhea the slamming facebuster for 2. Rhea wears the champion down and taunts her with leg scissors and hits a couple of clotheslines, Asuka reverses the third into an ankle lock but Rhea rolls into a Release German Suplex. Rhea grinds away at Asuka's back and sets up for a super German but Asuka elbows her away and lands the Missile Dropkick, Release German, Hip Attack, a strike combo, another Hip Attack but it only gets 2. Asuka goes up top but is dropkicked to the outside, Asuka tries a PK on the apron but is caught into an Electric Chair position and dropped chin-first onto the apron. Trying to roll Asuka back into the ring, the champion returns to hit a DDT from the apron to the outside, after breaking the count Asuka only gets 2, stomps at Rhea but her running knee gets caught, Rhea stomps at Asuka and sets up the Texas Cloverleaf, Asuka rolls out and into the Armbar but Rhea swings Asuka into the bottom turnbuckle. Deadlift suplex back into the ring for 2, Asuka reverses a waistlock into two armbar variations and then an Asuka Lock, Rhea rolls back for 2 and the hold to break but gets gutted with kicks to the chest, Rhea demands more so Asuka runs to the ropes, Rhea catches her, Riptide, 3!
That finish came out of nowhere, which was not a good thing. We were having quite an enjoyable match which ended around the 15 minute mark, it wasn't short but the narrative wasn't quite there yet. I'm happy for Rhea, who I predicted to win but like Sasha/Bianca it came with the heavy heart. Like Sasha, Asuka has often been slighted especially at Wrestlemania, she deserves her moment too, especially Asuka who carried the Women for most of the Empty Arena era.
WWE recapped the opener which was a bad idea, Hogan and Titus thanked all the viewers at home and the fans but were interrupted by Bayley who demanded and got her pyro, then out came the Bella Twins. Bayley got a good zing by calling them Elmo but then Nikki slapped the mic away from her when she says 'John Cena isn't here tonight', Bellas said 'Ding Dong, Goodbye' and beat down Bayley. This was shite really, Bayley had been buried across 2 nights and her 'comeuppance' is the Bella Twins, not the woman beginning with B I was hoping for, and the John Cena comment was heavily forced, fans know they broke up ages ago Nikki has a kid with her husband who is not John Cena, fans aren't stupid WWE.
WWE then promoted 'Wrestlemania Backlash' for May 16th, a whole month away. They say it'll be a whole new season for WWE so I'm wondering if it's just a storyline reset...y'know how Wrestlemania is supposed to be, slapping Wrestlemania on other show names doesn't make it Wrestlemania-tier guys.
Universal Championship - Roman Reigns (c) [w/Paul Heyman & Jey Uso] def. Daniel Bryan and Edge (Pinfall on Edge and Bryan via Con-Chair-To) To the Main Event, one of the few storylines in Mania's card that was consistently good in build. Bryan comes out first, camera angles flashing during the YES! chants. Huge pops and smoke rage for Metalingus and Edge enters in white and Red (bookending with Orton), fireworks camera shots though. For once, Roman Reigns enters the Main Event without a chorus of deafening boos, but he takes his time to come out, in his red wreath flanked by Jey Uso and Heyman, cameras cutting to each opponent's faces a bit too much, especially to Bryan. Bad call not to bring in Justin Roberts to announce Edge either. Roman makes sure to hoist the belt while facing both his opponents before the bell.
Reigns starts by suckering Bryan and then going after Edge. He throws Bryan out of the ring where Jey superkicks him and sends him into the steps thanks to Triple Threat rules. Edge eats a superkick from Uso too when he's thrown out as Roman cleans up the announcer's table, as Edge is grabbed by Uso, Reigns is hit by Bryan's suicide dive but eats an Uso superkick, this gives Edge time to throw Uso into the steps, pinballing Reigns against the barricade and apron until bouncing off of the ring post. Edge then sets his sights on Uso, hitting a DDT on the steps to take him out of the equation, medical team swarm Uso as Heyman halfheartedly looks concerned. Edge chases Heyman away and enters the ring with Bryan - a moment which would've been sold better if the camera didn't cut to a close up of Roman alive and well on the outside. Bryan gets the Yes Kicks in the corner but his Super Rana is reversed into a sunset flip, Edge-o-matic but it's only 2. Roman comes back on the apron both men attempting to suplex the other, Bryan slides under Roman and cuts Roman's legs from under him - jawbreaking Edge on the ropes - he hits the Missile Dropkick on Edge, kips up and hits the uppercut, after dodging the lariat he tries to suicide dive Roman but he's caught by the champion and hit with a belly to belly suplex. Edge brings Roman to the ring but gets hit with a clothesline, Roman sets up the Superman Punch but Edge turns it into an Edgecution. He sets up the Spear but Roman knocks him down, Roman sets the Spear but it is reversed in a Sunset Flip, both men collide with spears to take each other out. During a wide shot Bryan goes up top, he lands a diving headbutt on Edge, then on Roman, he pins Roman but only gets 2. Yes Kicks to both men, Roman dodges one and pushes him towards Edge, but Bryan ducks the Lariat and hits the Buisaku Knee, Roman tries the Superman Punch but is kicked in the gut, Buzzsaw Kick! 1, 2, No! Bryan stomps on Roman's head and sets up the Yes Lock, but Edge breaks the hold, so Bryan puts Edge in the Yes Lock and Roman breaks the hold, clubbing at Bryan and powerbombing him onto Edge. After dumping Bryan, Roman pauses before setting up half the steps near the Announcer's Table, he's incited by the 'Roman Sucks' chant and powerbombs Bryan through the Announcer's table, but is then blindsided with a Spear! Edge goes to bring in a chair but Roman keeps his foot on it, he pulls the chair away and tries the Guillotine but Edge locks in the Crossface, as Roman powers out Edge grabs a part of the chair leg that fell off and uses that in his Crossface - a humorous face from Reigns as I pause the vid as well XD - he's about to tap but Bryan grabs the hand, and locks in the Yes Lock! Annoyed that his win is stolen, Edge demands he break the hold, but Bryan refuses, leading to a headbutt fight and Bryan pounding at Edge. Bryan then stomps at Edge's head and looks for the Buisaku Knee, but gets hit by a Spear! Roman tries a Spear but Edge hits one of his own! 1, 2, Bryan pulls the ref out of the ring. Furious, Edge introduces more chairs, hitting Bryan and Edge one after the other. He sets up Con-Chair-To to both men, hits it on Bryan but Jey Uso returns to attack, eats a Spear and a load of Chair Shots, Reigns hits the spear on Edge, hits the Con-Chair-To, drags Edge over Bryan and pins both for the win.
The show closes with pyro and Fireworks as Roman talks trash on his opponents and holds the title aloft, ending Wrestlemania 37.
It was a very good back and forth match, Roman of course relying heavily on Jey's interferences and the animosity between Edge and Bryan to come out on top. Keeping the Spear and the Con-Chair-To for last was the right move and the latter was definitely impactful enough to ensure that Bryan could sleep for a few minutes, especially with his and Edge's history of neck injuries. I bet on Roman because of his past record, how after finally turning heel he gets the right heat and because in Triple Threats involving a Heel Champion and 2 Faces, you either bet on the third man or the heel champion, since the story was that Roman could lose without being pinned I chose the latter, the heel often finds the escape. All three men had great chemistry together and I hope for more, SD's world title scene having an absolute slew of competitors waiting to challenge the head of the table.
Conclusion Overall another good night of wrestling...just not better. There were some super baffling and poor moments in the first half of the show and 3 title changes in a row (as well as 2 live performances in a row) was probably not the best card layout Night 2 could've done. Overall it was still a good show though and as a whole Wrestlemania 37 was a success, if not without its glaring flaws. But it goes to show that a 2-Day Wrestlemania continues to flourish as a new season of WWE kicks off.
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baekchelor · 4 years
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the break up (i)
pairing: george mackay x reader   genre: gossip girl! au, angs, slight smut summary: Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Spotted: George Mackay at Heathrow, homeward New York. What could possibly make George abandon his self-imposed exile at his hometown and venture back to Manhattan? We bet Y/N wants to know. After all, George flew the city all of a sudden, while Y/N Y/L/N shed tears for the dearly departed. word count: 1.3k a/n: hello hello, welcome to the firt glimpse at my new George fic. This one is going to be way more angsty than the others, but I think you’ll enjoy it a lot. I’ll be posting on Mondays. So wait for the first chapter 🤭🤭 Lots of love and I hope y’all are staying safe. xoxo Ps. Y/N/I/L stands for Your Name Intial Letter
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❝ Just so you know, there are a few things that I consider sacred. The back of a limo is one of them.❞
prelude how they started
Resolute. To no longer yearn for his touch, to not pronounce his name and neglect any idea of him. Determined to obliterate it all, each kiss on the forehead, on the flushed pink cheeks, on the lips. Every smile, every gaze... just everything. In such mood, Y/N Y/L/N hops out of the black car, chin held high and a smirk curving her pretty little face.
"Where's Dean?"
As soon as her ears register foresaid name, her mouth neglects the newfound smile. Dean. Known in the Upper East Side as the fairy-tale couple, they grew a reputation of mythic and enviable love. Manhattan's Queen B and her Charming-Chapman Prince were an item throughout their years at Columbia. Both their parents talked about wedding plans during their jointed dinners —Y/N has even tried the fit of the Charles-Chapman's engagement ring heirloom.
The whole shebang was perfect. But turns out fairy tales end when they do for a reason. Y/N matured, found new horizons, and although Dean was nothing but goodness in her privileged life, he felt merely juvenile.
"We broke up."
"Beg you pardon?
"I don't want to talk about it, George," with a pointed look, she makes her way inside the club, barely glancing at his intense blue stare. "I just want to forget. That's what this place is for, right?"
George laughs under his breath, a hint of malice tangled in the whisper, "Indeed."
For a change, Y/N agrees with George tonight. She wants to forget Dean, misbehave, and to achieve that purpose, a substantial amount of liquor must be drowned. Alcohol is supposed to transform pain into nonsense, scattering the memories of young first love into the strobe lights and waning them within the swarm of lively bodies on the dance floor. Whether or not George Mackay is Dean's British best friend, Y/N couldn't care less. The boy is new in the city, aching for adventures, and a well-known playboy who wouldn't ditch several bottles of Moët in the sake of friendship boundaries. Hence Y/N shrugs away Dean's remaining memories, and delicately —with her characteristic grace and elegance, takes a seat in George's private boot.
The Brit orders two bottles of champagne and slurs to the waitress' ear to keep them coming. The blonde winks at him, making sure to sway her hips as she departures, pretending to be a star in a catwalk. It makes Y/N roll her eyes. She met George Mackay for the first time three days ago, during brunch at The Palace, and even then, with family and the elite present, girls threw themselves at him. Pathetic.
How different could she be from those girls, though? If she's alone with George, at some club in the West Village, just an hour past her breakup with charming Dean.
Trapped in the line of thoughts, Y/N gulps the entire flute of Moët. She doesn't even wince, eyes fixated in a couple slow dancing to a beat song. That used to be her and Dean, that could've been her and Dean right now.
"As much as I'm enjoying this, princess," George's voice catches her attention. "Downing champagne until you knock yourself unconscious is not the way to deal with a breakup."
"Fine," she rests her elbow over her legs, cupping one side of her face as she nods toward the remaining bottle. "Help me then."
George laughs, "No way. One of us needs to be able to think straight tonight."
"Have one, and I promise that I'll stop for now."
George licks his lips and brings the flute towards his mouth. As he tilts his head back and exposes his bare neck, Y/N is victim of a warm feeling at the pit of her stomach.
He sets the flute back on the table, smiling darkly, "I know you don't wanna talk about what happened but…"
"Relief," Y/N answers, eyes merged in the writhing silhouettes moving at the rhythm of the music, "I feel relief." Is hypnotizing: the music, the dance moves, the flashing lights and the rush of welfare running through her veins; is everything and nothing at the same time and she wants to be part of it, she wants to have a night to do all the stuff she gave up to be Dean's perfect girlfriend, "Y'know, I got moves."
"Really? Then why don't you get up there?
"No," she kind of, sort of, giggles. Y/N Y/L/N never giggles. "I'm just saying I've got moves."
"C'mon, you're ten times hotter than any of those girls."
There's lurk in her voice as she answers, "I know what you're doing, George," but then something mild forms inside every pore of her skin when George tilts his head, looking at her with defiant ocean eyes. They seem dangerous, like a tide willing to drag her to the bottom of the ocean. Yet, the blue colour is appealing, beautiful even, and the pink streak across her porcelain cheeks, assures her that the distress is nothing but adrenaline. "You really don't think I'll go up there."
"I know you won't do it."
That's it, that's all it takes. George likes playing games? Well, she'll prove to him she can play too —and better. Curving a seductive smile toward him, Y/N grabs his hand, "Dance with me."
She's not surprised when George encircles a hand around her waist and leads her into the ocean of people; she had discovered, just now, that he understands him, to the extend that she might even be able to read his mind. What comes as a surprise, however, is the way her body reacts to him. George's palms rest on her hips, slowly guiding her figure to grind against his in rhythm with the music.
With each beat, her thoughts blur together further. Dean's face has left its perpetual place in her mind, and the crowd, the lights, all are gone too. In her world, it seems to only exist George, and them both, pressed up against each other —George's fingers digging into her skin, her hands tangled in his light-brown locks... But boundaries can't be damned that easily. Although George Mackay isn't known for his excellent sense of morality, he still is Dean's best friend, for long enough to neglect the unknown thing fluttering around his stomach. So before he has time to regret it, George guides Y/N out of the crowd, straight to the back of his limo.
He will take her home. Right now.
"Thanks for the lift home," she breathes out, confused over the abrupt shift between them, but unable to stop holding onto his warm gaze. Get lost in his eyes seems effortless.
"Thanks, for…tonight."
Leaning closer, as they stare into each other's eyes, no one can't think of anything, anyone else. It could be the alcohol in their systems, or the rush in their blood, or perhaps is the erratic beat of their hearts and the goosebumps emerging the moment George's fingertips lay on her. But Dean's voice screaming at George to stop this madness because she's still the girl he loves, and he still holds her dear to his heart, goes mute. And Y/N's inner self, reminding her that George is not a perfect gentleman neither prince charming, is shoved away in a closet, one as secured as the one where Y/N/I/L stores her Manolo's.
Suddenly, his hands are at the small of her back, foreheads pressed together, and soft lips sucking on hers. Y/N's mouth opens in a gasp, and George takes this opportunity to insert his tongue. He tastes like a variety of alcohols, one of them being the champagne she forced him to drink earlier, and it is intoxicating.
He pulls back. Both of them panting as they stare into each other's glazed-over eyes, "Are you sure?"
Y/N doesn't breath out an answer, her mind is working to sluggishly to form coherent words. She merely holds onto his shoulders for support and gives a soft peck to his lips.
Leaning down, George growls into her neck as his fingers travel south to play with the hem of her dress.
Oh-Oh, Upper East Sidders, turns out that for G and Y/N/I/L, boundaries can be damned that easily.
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nugicus · 3 years
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Top 5 Archaeological Sites and Relics that were Irreplaceably Damaged on Account of Human Stupidity
As a major in the humanities, nothing makes me more livid than learning about the loss or irreversible damage of an immensely important example of cultural heritage due to mankind’s massive propensity to royally screw something up. Reasons for such poorly thought-out actions that lead to the impairment of historical artifacts can be the result of either amateur archaeologists who foolishly believed they knew what they were doing to outright malicious acts of vandalism. Whatever the reason the outcome is still painfully the same: the erasure of a cultural site that is incrementally tied to the fabric of ones cultural identity, preventing those who share that same identity from engaging in their own heritage. Here are some examples I found the most serious.
5. A Bunch of Brits Damaged an Important Irish Archaeological Site Because they Believed they were the Descendants of Biblical Hebrews
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Ah, the late 1800s. A time when the European industrial powers had begun to implement foreign policies with an overwhelming focus on dominating other countries, especially those in Africa and Asia, as a means of obtaining inexpensive raw materials to feed their growing economies. In terms of amount of land annexed and political dominance, there was no imperialist power more successful in this complex process than Great Britain. In order to justify such vastly one-sided geopolitical influence, social Darwinian theories were frequently espoused by British statesmen which had the habit of arguing that the supposedly “superior” white race had the right and the duty to civilize nonwhite races that were deemed inferior. However, some Englishmen wanted to take it a step further by advocating an even more ridiculous belief, known as British Israelism.
Influenced by writings, such as John Wilson’s 1840 Our Israelitish Origin, adherents of this theory suggest that the modern day inhabitants of the British Isles are, both genetically and linguistically, the direct descendants of the Ten Lost Tribes of ancient Israel. Apparently, according to the pseudo-etymology used by British Israelists, the Saxons are the descendants of the ancient Scythians, a nomadic people who resided on the Pontic Steppe. The Scythians are, in turn, the descendants of the biblical “Isaac,” due to the phonetic similarity between what the Persians called the Scythians, the Sacae, and Israel’s patriarch. The name, Saxons, is also further interpreted to mean “Sac’s sons” or “son of Isaac.”
If all this sounds preposterous to you, that’s because it pretty much is. The languages of the British Isles, such as English, Welsh, and Gaelic, and Hebrew belong to two completely separate language families. The former is Indo-European, while the later is Afro-Asiatic. However, these hints that their theory was nothing more that pseudo-linguistic drivel didn’t stop British Israelists from damaging one of Ireland’s most important archaeological sites, the Hill of Tara.
Considered one of the most sacred locales in Ireland and an important symbol of Irish nationhood, the Hill of Tara had been used for three thousand and a half years as a pagan burial site and, during the early Middle Ages, it served as the seat of the High Kings of Ireland. Between 1899 and 1902, British Israelists led by judge Edward Wheeler Bird began to frantically dig up the site, mutilating much of it, in hopes of, get this, discovering the legendary Ark of the Covenant. Because if the Ark of the Covenant would be anywhere it would be in a place ancient Hebrews had no idea even existed. As one could imagine, Irish cultural nationalists, including professional archaeologists and journalists, were furious but ultimately couldn’t do a thing to stop them since the excavators paid off the local landlord and guarded the site with firearms as a means of keeping a group of protesters away from the dig site.
4. A German Amateur Archaeologist uses a very “Unconventional” Method to Excavate Troy
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Archaeological fieldwork, especially excavations, are an incredibly meticulous process. The long, painstaking procedure of acquiring grant funds, organizing staff and equipment, mapping out the appropriate dig site, removing earth one layer at a time, and sifting through buckets of dirt looking for artifacts may take months if not years to fully accomplish. There’s a perfectly good reason for such scrupulousness since attempting to excavating a site without the proper know-how is extremely haphazard and can potentially damage the very thing you’re trying to uncover. A perfect case of this are the actions of one Heinrich Schliemann.
Born in 1822 to a relatively poor family in northern Germany, Schliemann had been obsessed ever since he was seven years of age with discovering and excavating the legendary city of Troy. After acquiring a sizeable fortune working as a businessman, Schliemann traveled to western Anatolia where Troy was vaguely believed to have existed. He was then pointed to a to nearby tell (an artificial mound formed by the accumulated debris of generations of people who once resided in a settlement), called Hisarlik, which, according to an Englishman named Frank Calvert who owned the land the mound was located on, as a possible location of Troy. In 1870, Schliemann then gathered a team of about one hundred local laborers and began digging at the site for about three years until he made an astounding discovery: Hisarlik wasn’t just the site of a single, important city, but multiple ones layered on top of one another formed after millennia as the settlement had been repeatedly destroyed and rebuilt by inhabitants.
In order to reach the lowest layer, which he believed was Troy from the Iliad, Schliemann relied on a very unorthodox method that other archaeologists wouldn’t even consider using and for good reason: dynamite. Ancient cities and priceless artifacts were literally obliterated into dust due to his recklessness and poor record keeping until eventually Schliemann thought he found what he was looking for. When he finally reach one of the lowest layers, he discovered a cache of golden objects and jewels, which he proclaimed to be the treasure of Priam, the king of Troy in Homer’s poem. However, there was a serious problem. Not only did Schliemann destroy countless finds on his destructive mission to reach what he believed to be Troy, but the treasures he recovered were actually from a city that existed centuries prior. According to dating methods, the Troy from the Illiad was actually located in the strata Schliemann annihilated with dynamite.
3. The Great Pyramid of Giza is Vandalized by Two German Amateur Archaeologists because they Believed they were Built by Aliens
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Currently, one of the primary disseminators of pseudoarchaeological and pseudohistorical theories is undoubtedly the New Age movement. Beginning in the 1960s, this philosophy, which suggests that the world has become too materialistic and has turned away from the spiritualism that is the heart of creation and that there is a non-physical reality than underlies our physical world, is largely responsible for much of the spread of evidence-less beliefs that are related to history and archaeology. These assertions include claims regarding lost, technologically advanced civilizations, such as Atlantis, Lemuria, or Mu, or the theory that aliens have visited us in the Earth’s past and influenced our culture. Such fantastical notions have largely exited the fringe and have become more accepted since the late 20th century thanks in part to being picked up and discussed the History Channel.
Generally speaking, these theorists are typically harmless when it comes to their presence at archaeological sites, that changed in 2013 when a couple of German amateur archaeologists decided to vandalized Egypt’s Great Pyramid of Giza in order to prove that the monuments weren’t built by ancient Egyptians. In April of that year, Dominique Goerlitz and Stefan Erdmann, as well as a filmmaker, were, for some reason, given permission to enter the inner chambers of the pyramid that’s normally closed off to the public and proceeded to take a number of samples from a cartouche, which is a hieroglyphic inscription that normally represents the name and title of an Egyptian monarch, and smuggle them out of the country to Dresden University for further study. Neither men were professional archaeologists, nor were the associated with any institute involved in the field.
Apparently, the purpose of their defacement was to prove their “alternate theory” that the pyramids weren’t built by ancient Egyptians. Rather, they proposed that the Egyptian pyramids were build by a technologically advanced civilization that had existed much earlier than around 2500 BCE, which is when the Great Pyramid of Giza is believed to have been built.
As you can imagine, both German and Egyptian government authorities were absolutely furious over their actions. The three German hobbyists, as well six Egyptian guards and inspectors who let them into pyramid in the first place, are now facing serious charges. Lastly both Goerlitz and Erdmann tried to apologize for their vandalism in a letter directed to Egypt’s Ministry of Antiquities but it has been rightfully rejected.
2. Museum Workers use Epoxy Glue to Repair Tutankhamun’s Mask
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Without a doubt, archaeological restoration and conservation is a delicate and arduous task that demands a considerable amount of research. Besides it requiring a professionally trained team of conservators and restorers who’re capable of making sure the object matches its original condition as close as possible while using a variety of methods, it is also highly dependent on that team to be aware of the materials used when the object was constructed. Completing such work can take what seems like ages as the restorers meticulously reverse or preserve the appearance of famous works of art, while following a strict code of ethics and scientific guidelines. Interestingly, employees at the Egyptian Museum in Cairo decided to ignore all that nettlesome repair work when they accidently damaged one of Egypt’s most important works of art.
Back in 2014, the famous Mask of Tutankhamen was clumsily damaged when it had it’s beard broken off while employees were busy fixing a light in it’s display case. Instead of following protocol by relying professional restoration methods and acquiring an expert in art restoration, they made the astonishingly poor decision of hastily gluing the beard back on with a quick-dry epoxy, that is normally used for wood or metal, in order to conceal their crime. This was followed a reckless scrapping by using a spatula in order to get some of the excess glue off, which ended up causing a scratch. They then placed the mask back into the display case with the hopes that no one will noticed. Unsurprisingly, however, guests did notice in 2015 when, on closer inspection, the beard appeared off center and that there was clearly a visible layer of glue between the face and the beard.
Despite fears that the damage was completely irreversible, German restoration specialist, Christian Eckmann, along with a team of conservators, archaeologists, and natural scientists successfully removed the glue and reattached the beard in a delicate operation that took nine weeks. First, they took a 3d scan of the mask to document it and then they raised it’s temperature in order to safely remove the epoxy glue with wooden tools. They then proceeded to fasten the beard by recreating the same technique the ancients would have relied on using beeswax. Now, the mask has been put back on display since late 2015 after a lengthy procedure. Meanwhile, eight of the employees who botched the repair job have been referred to trial by the Administrative Prosecution and are accused of negligence and unrefined restoration of the mask.
1. Greenpeace Damages the Nazca Lines due to a Publicity Stunt
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Located in the arid Nazca Desert of Southern Peru, the Nazca Lines are an impressive series of large geoglyphs that span an area of about 19 sq mi. Created sometime between 500 BCE and 500 CE, these expansive markings that were etched in a pebble-covered, windless landscape, vary in design, but they the majority normally come in the form of straight lines that, when combined, are eight hundred miles long. They also appear to depict a myriad of plants, animals, and humanoid figures, such as a hummingbird, monkey, and a whale, that are usually composed of a single continuous line. Since they were first intensively studied in the 1940s, the reason for their existence has largely escaped modern scholars, though there have been numerous theories as to their purpose.
In the past few decades, the extremely fragile geoglyphs have come under threat due to changes in global weather patterns brought on by climate change. Disturbances caused by human actions is also a risk, since the ground is notoriously sensitive due to the fact that the ground is made up of nothing more than black rocks atop white sand. So far any damage the Nazca Lines have attained due to either environmental factors and human impact have been regarded as minimal. However, in December 2014, they sustained damage from an unlikely source which managed to infuriate the Peruvian government. As part of a publicity stunt, individuals affiliated with the environmental organization Greenpeace, of all people, entered an area near the geoglyphs that is strictly prohibited due to the fact that a single step can cause permanent damage. Then, as part of a message meant for a highly important, UN-sponsored meeting regarding global warming that was occurring in Lima at the time, they proceeded to lay down big yellow cloth letters near the hummingbird geoglyph that read: “Time for Change, The Future is Renewable.” After observing drone footage taken in the aftermath of the stunt, it was revealed through visual evidence that new lines were formed after the activists hiked to the site and what appears to be an outline of the letter “C.”
In response to such recklessness, Deputy Cultural Minister Luis Jaime Castillo has threatened legal action against the activists for what he rightly referred to as a “slap in the face at everything Peruvians consider sacred.” The Peruvian government was also seeking to prevent the participants from leaving the country and sought to identify the careless activists. Meanwhile, Greenpeace did its best to apologize for their actions in a statement they issued which states they plan to entirely co-operate with any investigation Peru has planned out. Unfortunately for Greenpeace, the apology did go over well with the people of Peru, which prompted Castillo to refer to it as a “joke,” since Greenpeace had initially refuse to identify the vandals or accept responsibility. After mounting pressure, however, Greenpeace decided to release the names of four of the activists involved by giving their names to prosecutors in the hopes that they will drop the charges against two journalists who were also at the event.
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Time for another post in which I obsess over an unimportant topic that no one cares about but me - namely, Pyro’s hair - curly or straight?  (Under a read-more for this long-ass image heavy-post). 
So, when Pyro was first introduced, his hair was most definitely curly.  (He was also dressed fancier than the others, as he was originally supposed to be gay a snobby Brit):
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You could see it both in and out of costume, and it was pretty consistently curly in early Brotherhood appearances:
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(I love how bored he looks while Mystique tells him to go kill Carol Danvers.  “Oh, a spot of murder?  Yawn.”) 
Later on in Freedom Force, his hair was generally drawn standing straight up while in uniform, with varying amounts of curl or waviness to it.
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(This is right after Pyro saved Longshot and those kids by obliterating a T-Rex with fire he grew from a single match flame.  I love this cocky, show-boating asshole.) 
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(Not quite so curly here, more standing straight up, but still with some wavy texture.)
And also out of uniform:
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(I really just wanted an excuse to post these scenes again.  LOL at Pyro and Stonewall being the worst fake lawyers in the bottom panel.)
Most of the time, artists are just giving his hair a flame-like appearance for obvious reasons, but that usually means it has some curl and body.
To be fair, curly hair was more popular during the 80′s, so it’s entirely possible that Pyro was rocking an 80′s perm in his first appearance.  Artists go back and forth on his hair texture.  During Freedom Force’s last mission, it looked pretty straight at times:
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(LOL at Blob referencing Lewis and Clark.  A nice reminder that he’s not just a dumb lackey.)
And also in some other 90′s Brotherhood appearances:
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(90′s Brotherhood Pyro, mostly straight hair, maybe a little bit of wave to it)
I also wouldn’t put it past Pyro, a very cocky dude who likes dressing fancy and showing off, to spent hours sculpting his hair into flame-like waves for his Freedom Force appearances.  So it’s entirely possible that his hair is straight and he just curls it sometimes.  But honestly....he shows up with curls or at least some wavy texture in his hair very frequently, enough that it’s kind of a signature look for him.
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(Good old 90′s Liefeld Pyro)
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(The terrifying X-Baby version of Pyro)
He also has curly hair at times when he wouldn’t exactly have access to a salon to do/re-do a perm, like in prison:
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During the Age of Apocalypse (what little hair hasn’t been burned off him, anyway):
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In the Savage Land while he’s dying of the Legacy Virus:
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On Empyrean’s island, when he reveals he has the Legacy Virus:
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(Actually, Empyrean probably has a salon on his island, he’s super-rich and lives in luxury.  But I also doubt that Pyro ran out to re-curl his hair while dealing with his diagnosis of a terminal illness.  Also this was like, 93 or 94, perms on guys weren’t as much in style.)
To be fair, Pyro also showed up with straight hair at times when he was suffering from the Legacy Virus, and probably didn’t want to put in the effort to straighten it.
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It also looks like it’s starting to fall out in patches, so maybe it’s just getting thin and brittle from the virus.
And now we come to Marauder’s Pyro, who has been straight-haired pretty much the whole book:
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(At least it’s sometimes drawn big and poofy?)
And honestly, it really doesn’t matter, but it’s part of an annoying trend that any character who started out with curly or wavy hair has had it straightened in the comics over the past couple of decades.  It’s an on-going trend as styles have changed, and it’s had the unfortunate affect of making characters look less unique.  It also has had a white-washing effect, as POC characters (like Sunspot) and Jewish characters (like Kitty Pryde) have often lost their curls in more recent comics.  That’s not really an issue for Pyro, a white dude, and to be clear, I think white-washing in comics is much more important than whether my fave is drawn with my preferred hair-style for him.  Kitty and Roberto losing their curls is erasing aspects of their identity, Pyro losing his curls is not such a big deal.  That’s why I say this is a silly nonsense post that doesn’t matter.
But still, I’d much rather see Pyro get his original hair texture back, if nothing else so that he doesn’t look like every other generic blond white dude in the comics.  The curls gave his character a more interesting design, and really did add to the flame-like look.  And no, the skull-face tattoo doesn’t make up for it, that’s just overkill.
Even this Marauders cover artist knew to give Pyro some curl:
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However Marvel depicts him, I imagine Pyro as having naturally curly hair similar to Roger Daltrey from The Who:
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Which he can also straighten with gel like Daltrey did in the early days of the band:
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(Roger, no.  Not a good look for you, buddy.  Go with the big Tommy curls, let your hair fly free.  Because freedom tastes of reality.)
Hopefully, someday Marvel will let him have his curls back.  Until then I assume he’s been gelling it/stealing Kitty’s flat-iron in Marauders, as illustrated by the lovely thecorteztiwns, whose fanart of curly-haired Pyro gives me life:  
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Weird Writing Things.
1. I write accents. Y’know, if I’m writing a Scot or a Brit with a thick accent, I reflect that in my writing, but... I have the most fun with the Scot accent. Especially since I started out as a Hellsing Writer. Alexander Anderson is the leading offender of the Accent writing.
2. I like to over-describe things. For example, in my MHA fic Plus Ultra: The Story of Nikko Yagi... Her breath was making me feel a little dizzy. She ended up kissing me fully on the lips, full of need and want, 'I miss you, don't leave.' My muscles being kissed, more focused on my weaker arm, my hand slipped down to her thigh and she straddled me. Kissing me full of desire, full of ravenous need and lust. Sapphire and silver met my starlight eyes, breathy, needy gasps between kisses, muttered sweet nothings. Her hands rubbing every inch of my exposed skin.The heat and the chill mixed into a pleasant lukewarm breeze, Blazer and shirt already open, pale skin inviting me to stroke and knead gently, the mixed peppermint-like hair half red and half white gliding through my fingers.Shoto yielded, she laid on me, kissing and rubbing, letting me feel her. Letting her feel me. 
We didn't need to be our fathers… we just needed to be us. Sapphire ringed by red and silver ringed by perfect, warm flesh pressed up against my near rail-thin physique since I obliterated the darkness that took so much away from others, his blood being used to give those back. That soft, strong, cool and warm body…She was stronger than me. Arms looped around my neck, my eyes focused on that scar, enduring years of mental and emotional torture. Kept away from her more sane parent and stuck in a loop of being a hero or a breeding factory. 
The pressure of being a hero wasn't new to me, but… Shoto seemed so starved for affection that she looked broken when she was without it. Needy, tears coursing down her cheeks, tears of relief and love, honest love. Love for me. Love for her life and how it turned out. Her eyes shining, tears sparkling in the evening light, legs laying on either side of my chest, grinning, arms looped around my neck and rubbing herself against me. Finally deciding that she's Shoto again. And her first decision was to love me. Holding onto me, her hope. That's what brought me out from the brink, not because it was stupid to die like a coward… but what I represented to her, what I represented to others.I was the hope. I was the hope that the sun would rise and touch the world again with its rays. I was the hope that the sons and daughters of our generation can wake up and see that the world's alright. I'd be the hope that everyone could latch onto. I didn't need to be the peace. The peace was Shoto's dad's job now. My job was to carry the hope with me. Shoto looked up at me with those eyes, with those big, pleading eyes that begged me to hold her and keep her close, pull the sheets over ourselves and sleep tangled in each other's arms. I DIDN’T EVEN NEED TO DESCRIBE THAT CUDDLING SCENE IN THAT MUCH DETAIL BUT THERE!
3. Then there’s the dumb, funny stuff that I write for certain scenes... like in my MHA x Yakuza fic with Majima, "Dearly beloved, we're all here to party our lights out for these two crazy-ass lovebirds, 'cause it all started in a UA hallway. Then it went from that to tryin' to hide it, REAL BADLY, endin' up rammin' a truck into a rival Yakuza, savin' Eri-chan and leavin' us all really wonderin' how crazy did I make that boy?" Dad ended it on a rhetorical question, making Nishiki and Naosu snicker and Oguma barely hold back his laughter. Uncle Kiryu looked ready to take over and Pops too.
"Aw, fuck this! I'mma just Robin Hood: Men In Tights this!" he snapped, making 
Uncle Kiryu come up and take it over."Alright, Majima-san, sit down, we promised to share since we were all a big part in Kazuo's life, I get to do my son's wedding and Ichiban got to do his daughter's," he stated.
"Nah, ain't sittin' down! I stayed up all night just to write this shit down! SO I'mma do it!" Dad snapped, taking the book back.
"Alright! Kazuo-chan, will you take this hot, sexy woman to be yer wife, in sickness an' in health, good an' bad, til the gods are fed up with ya?" he asked. I smiled and looked into her eyes behind the veil.
"I do," I stated.
"An' Nemi-chaaan… how about you? Do you take my cute lil' pup to be yer husband, from Pride to Despair, lovin' him 24 Hours, givin' him Machinegun Kisses and Ondo onto the TOP?" he asked, bouncing a little.
"I do," Nemuri said.
"Awright! By the power vested in me by that one New Year's where my Kyodai and I got shitfaced drunk an' become ordained, I pronounce ya… MAN AN' WIFE! Now get to smoochin'!"  My thought process: How funny would it be if Majima officiated a wedding?
My brain: Let’s go.
4. Me and my characters: I love and cherish all of you... *Opens coffin* Me: Okay! Get in!
5. Me: (Writing a seriously messed up protag.): How make words go?! Also me: (Writing a genocidal rainbow maniac who's also a creep.): Oooh! We’re cooking with gas!
6. Me (Looks at the fandom with my fics): NOTICE ME! The Fandom: (In the distance.): NOOO!
7. Me: Have you ever heard the sound of a life being trainwrecked? My OC Kazuma: Uh-uh.
Me(makes his backstory absolutely tragic and messed up.): Would you like to?
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ohmightysmiter · 5 years
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What happened when the thorns lost?
Votes are in! You guys are on season one, episode three of Soccer Drama™️ so buckle up Mama Brit has another story for you.
Right, so the Thorns game.
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I genuinely believe, with both the Thorns losing to the Courage and the Royals losing to the Dash, that those two teams were being punished by the Soccer Gods (long may they be benevolent) for the way they acted towards each other on the 6th.
To set the stage: the Portland Thorns were at the top of the league standings and they have players like Adrianna “actually a brick wall” Franch and Tobin “breaks the Statute of Secrecy every time she’s allowed to touch a soccer ball” Heath.
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They don’t really lose. And when they do it’s generally by only one or two points.
They got decimated. They got obliterated. They were so badly beat that at the end of the match Tobin just kind of sat there in general disbelief.
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They lost 6-0.
It was even worse because it was the Courage. I should point out that the Courage are the Patriots of the NWSL: no one wants them to win, not even Courage fans, but they do it a lot and it’s annoying.
It was so bad I got concerned that Amy Rodriguez put a curse on them and Emily Sonnett was gonna have to carry her up the mountain to have it lifted.
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Now that both teams have lost, though, hopefully the blood sacrifice will be accepted and they can go back to having a regular season.
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sarasfm · 4 years
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Sarauniya “ Sara ” Davies, 24, pansexual, cisfemale, ISFP Enneagram 9w1; Pisces sun, Sagittarius moon, Pisces rising 1st year Advanced Encryption Major; did not go to a spy prep hs
Imma keep it real with you, chief, I have absolutely no idea what’s going on. I mean, obviously, I know what espionage is ; I’ve read books and articles, and I’ve seen Spy Kids and all the Charlies Angels and James Bond movies, but I genuinely think I need a minute to wrap my head around everything. Make that two weeks, because what’s this I hear about two murders ?  I literally just got sent here to be safe, I — I’m sorry, I’m freaking out. Give me five seconds, and we can start again, because I promise I can totally pretend this is all normal. @gallagherintro​
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full name: sarauniya “ sara ” davies
dormitory room: 105
birthday: 20 march 1995
soundtrack: “ go gina ” by sza
favorite dish: efo riro
aesthetic:  when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of light reflecting from her earrings, eyeglasses perched on top of her head, and a caviar iphone always in her hands
Bio Points
her mom’s a nigerian baddie billionaire & her dad’s a soft academic brit
she grew up between london and abuja where their family’s business is based. it’s a trading enterprise, the largest industrial conglomerate in sub-saharan africa
she’s the eldest of three siblings, was raised to be prim & proper and groomed to run their family’s business. her family’s not pushy though and they’re really cool. very healthy dynamic so she doesn’t mind ; she loves her fam and would do it w a smile !
Coding is her Passion though. total dork. stayed up all the time just sleuthing and being an internet geek since she was a youngin’
loves education and is the type who would willingly stay in school to learn. has a degree in economics from harvard and was almost done with her mba when her littlest sister got abducted !  was it about business ? money ? who knows ! the sister’s fine now but her family sure is Scared especially since sara’s alone in the big bad united states
her mom made some calls and went �� gimbiya, look, u aint safe n we sorry. we’ll work something out to make sure u get ur mba degree somehow but shit is wild so we gotta get u somewhere near that’s safe asap. u like studying & ur a geek with computers right ? cool beans, go back to school & welcome to gallagher, babe ”
she enters gallagher in the middle of the spring semester very overwhelmed & inwardly ignoring how unhappy she is about having to be here bc she is not & does not want to be a spy. she just tryna distract herself by looking at this entire thing as a weird vacation where she can do stuff she wasn’t able to before because it’s literally detached from the world. she is mostly probably in way over her head, but let’s see ! 
Other Information
Nicknames: Sara (to everyone), gimbiya (to family, means princess in Hausa)
Languages: English (native), Hausa (native), Arabic (C1), French (B2)
Strengths: is money a strength ? also coding. and being the sweetest. and a general smartypants but that’s in a university setting & gallagher probably doesnt give a fuck
Relationship History: only has one (1) experience. ( well,,, 2 if a three-second drunken kiss w kass counts ) his name’s royce and they’ve known each other since their bougie secondary school back in britain. started dating at sixteen and went to harvard together. they’re long term as fuck. he’s like her best friend and their families adore the couple & each other. got engaged last september and sara broke it off before leaving for gallagher, oof. she deadass milked the opportunity but lbr she wasnt rlly Feeling It so she’s kinda glad for the ‘valid reason’ to appear bc it rlly wasn’t Love for sara so boy bye
Physical appearance: 1.76m, 55kg, long black hair, slim and toned build
Classes: GEN 105, GEN 206, AE 101, AT 101, PE 101
Personality
the sweetest. v charming & sensitive to others & curious about things. enthusiastic too ! loves adventures & is very passionate. queen of empathy. 
she’s not stuck up even tho she loaded. she doesnt rlly talk abt her family having 12B or the fact that she’s an ivy league girl, bc she’s just generally very uwu 
easily stressed and flustered and overwhelmed ! man, gallagher’s gonna shook this goddamn academic dork to her core for the love of god someone pls get the aed ready
rlly fun !!! can be a lil unpredictable bc it b lyk dat for rich girls. loves her independence which she hasn’t maximized bc of her ex fiancé & responsibilities but it’s chill so chill totally chill, no ounce of further longing exists in the crevices of this girl’s heart
she is so not good with confrontation and is so allergic to conflict ok. she will sweep discomfort under a rug and lie on it ‘til it’s flat which makes her a queen of repression & conforming
is she easily overwhelmed & stressed ? yes, but she’ll try not to show it so much. it’s all mostly an internal monologue so don’t underestimate her pls. she’s v smart and competent. can be so competitive ( albeit mostly inwardly ) and a boss ass business bitch like her business momma bc that’s what she’s been training for altho she is still generally a soft bab so ... yeah, if u would be so kind as to Estimate her, that’d be grand
she needs to always be on top of her game. maybe not the best in the class, but definitely pushes herself to be her best, so a lot of late nights studying & won’t settle for bad grades ever. gonna be rough in gallagher bc she is not spy material ok, she’s just a pretty rich geek behind a computer
just imagine her as the nice girl in ur ap classes who’s a lil awkward & just so happens to be super hot & stinking rich
Fun Facts
has a six-month old rescue pup named sooty ! who kinda looks like a sheparnese
has a tendency to ramble if she’s comfy w u enough or mayhaps if it’s too much man 
is v diligent w keeping a journal & does it everyday 
likes to dance ! not super good but she likes it. hits da clubs for dat shit 
is a lil instagram famous bc she’s a gorgeous rich harvard girl & all that jazz. queen of selfies & of looking hot but doesn’t actually get to play around rip ffff 
doesn’t drink much bc she is an extreme lightweight and 2 is her tap out limit
if she’s had more than 2 drinks, she is Very Honest but still very ramble-y 
she is physically active but mostly just runs and does yoga. knows very basic self-defense. is not sporty, definitely not a fighter, may god have mercy on her soul
isnt a virgin but is not sexually experienced lmao lbr she kinda Itching to get out there 
don’t ask me what her accent is because i have no clue it’s all over the place
Established Connections — just bc i think y’all would like to know
kassandra sutton — internet friends ! loves kass to bits. have known each other since sara was 14. when kass was 18, sara took her on a grad trip to montreal and became a lil lowkey into her. doesn’t help that kass drunk kissed her & doesn’t remember lmfao. poor sara told her then-bf & they had a lil fight but they made up bc sara didn’t talk to kass for months. eventually they became friends again & now sara’s in gallagher w no idea that kass is a mf sutton & honestly, my girl is just very shook w everything 
Possible Connections
crushes — she does not know how to flirt. she is ,,,, p pathetic tbh but a real heckin cutie. will be super nice to ur bab ok  
flirtationships — sara and i r gonna continue to keep it real w u chieves, her ex fiancé royce was vanilla and bland as fuck. can u believe she has not been single in a decade ? ? someone give her love & attention & fluster this soft innocent child. get her Experienced but also dont hurt her
enemies/angst !!! —  or maybe do ! maybe hurt her. maybe obliterate her. maybe smash her poor heart to pieces, because tbh i would love that.  so someone pls for the love all things holy and divine, someone hurt her !!!!
fwb — probably just one (1) bc she’s still a romantic ? and she’s probably gonna want something exclusive even if it’s no strings attached and will surely want to ,.,. get to know them a little bit more first ,,, at least ideally , idk , maybe impulse & thirst gets the better of her one of these days who knows lets find out !
friends !!! — sara will love u ok. she may be a lil easily flustered but she’s doesn’t rlly give up on ppl quickly. as i’ve said, queen of empathy. probs feels v sorry for majority of the gallagher & georgetown kids bc, .,.,., this environment just screams highkey Trauma to her and she’s valid bc she’s right
mentors !!! — she hates feeling dumb ok she Always has to be on top of her game, so u can bet ur ass after her first meetings in her classes she goes to ppl going “ hey could u help me out w working out ? boxing ? firing a gun ? literally everything & anything ? ”   
anything & everything — meaning just come @ me & let’s talk about it uwu 
( did i just create georgina’s antithesis ? fuck yes, and i am sooo excited to have a child that’s not always plotting & scheming & being mean like y’all have no idea ;_; nywy, that was long bc shutting up and brevity are things i do not possess. whats up it’s ur og flower garden girl rose here aka bugleweed aka fiancée of many and lover of all, and i am open to anything and everything ! just drop an IM or hit dat like & ill slide in ur dmz w love, plots & sanitized hands x )
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iamkatehardy · 5 years
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Dessert (Eddie Brock x Reader)
Requested by: @bxbblesstuff
“Heyyyy.... yeah it's me again, sorry if I'm bothering, but could I get an imagine with Eddie Brock where the reader is British and well, if you're a Brit in America you could have some struggles like not being understood. So let's say that they are like in a date and the waitress does not understand the reader. Sorry if it's too much. Love your blog, bye”
Author’s Note: I’m sorry if I butchered the British slangs, but I don’t use them frequently, don’t kill me if you’re a British reading this , please 😂 for those of you who aren’t familiar with some of the slangs, I put the meaning 😋
Also, first time writing for Eddie, and as I’ve said before, I don’t usually do it, because there are so many great fics with him around,that I don’t know if I can make something worthy 😛
Warnings: Things get a little spicy in the end... Swearing, Descrimination.
Let me know what you think, loves ❤️
Dessert
Eddie worked with you for some weeks now. You and him hit it off right away; you loved how pure and genuine he was. He found you quite interesting too, from the thick British accent, to how lovely you looked when you were huffy, not to mention you were a sight for sore eyes.
You were in charge, the editorial manager, but you were very laid back, treating every person in there equally. For the first time, Eddie knew when his boss called him to her office it didn’t always mean trouble, sometimes it even meant being praised.
He often talked to himself, at first you wondered if he was crazy, but over time you discovered that that was just Eddie being Eddie; he wasn’t all there sometimes, but he was the sweetest, and hard worker.
Eddie was alluring, and you had been plucking up courage to ask him out, you just had to become become better acquainted with him first, to make sure he would accept just because you were his boss. He had been thinking about the same, but he wanted to make sure Venom understood he shouldn’t step in, because Eddie wouldn’t know how to explain the whole situation to you.
After staging the whole situation in your mind for couple hundred times, you decided to do it.
“Eddie, could you come to my office, please?” - You asked him.
This time he thought he was in deep trouble, he had been absent from work for almost a week.
“Sure...” - He was noticeably nervous.
“ I won’t be biting you, I swear.” - He made you laugh , and you walked to your office. Effie trailed behind you.
You sat down, relaxing in your chair, but when Eddie sat down he was all but relaxed.
“Bloody hell, am I that scary?” - You removed your glasses. Eddie shook his head.- “ I was just wondering if maybe we could grab dinner after work, one day.” - You said, with an expectant look.
Venom, who sometimes had an awful timing, decided to intervene.
“Eddie, do we eat bosses?” - Eddie heard inside his head.
“What? No!” - Eddie said in annoyance.
“Oh, sorry... Hmm, ok...” - Your smile faded, as you thought his answer was meant to answer your question.
“Fuck... No (Y/N), I didn’t mean...” - He scratched his head , taking a deep breath. - “Look, I’ll be right back, my answer isn’t no, yeah?” - He got up, rushing to the bathroom and locking himself inside.
“We do NOT eat bosses! At least not (Y/N), she’s everything but evil...”
“Hmmm...” - Venom grunted in his head.- “Not even the eyes? I like her eyes.”
“I like her eyes too, and that’s exactly why we won’t eat them! We won’t hurt her at all , ok?”
“ What if I get hungry? Really hungry...”
“NO! And I’d really appreciate if I could have dinner with her, with no trouble. I could get you a ton of chocolate of your choice...” - Eddie sighed.- “I like her, I really do, I can’t show you to her just yet, that would frighten her.”
“That would cost you at least 15 boxes of chocolate”
“I’ll give you 30 then!”
Eddie walked back to hour office, where you remained, crestfallen.
“Only if it’s today!” - He smiled.
“I beg your pardon?” - You looked up at him.
“Let’s have dinner tonight (Y/N), I’m really looking forward to it!”
“But I thought...”
“I’m sorry for what just happened, I was just nervous, never meant to decline your invitation, I couldn’t. Pick you up at 8?”
You giggled, because he was probably telling the truth, Eddie being Eddie again, one of the reasons that made him so cute.
“8 is perfect for me!”
After work you went home and immediately dolled up for the occasion, you wanted Eddie’s jaw to drop, and it did, in the second he laid his eyes on you when he came to pick you up. He knew the very professional you, not the casual version, but he was dying to.
Eddie was glad Venom was behaving , but he was so nervous that even without Venom bugging him, he was afraid to screw things up at any minute.
“Eddie, the chair. Remember the movie in which you cried , the other night, pull the chair for the girl.”
He pulled our chair and made a note in his mind to give Venom extra chocolates for that one.
“Thank you.” - You smiled warmly at him, impressed
A waitress came and delivered you both the menu.
“Oh, thank God! Besides cream crackered (tired) , I’m completely Hank Marvin (starving)! I’m salivating just by having a butchers (having a look) at the menu!”
Eddie smiled, he knew you always used British expressions and a thicker accent when you were truly excited, and that was definitely a good sign for him. The waitress shot you a side-look, as if you were from another planet.
“I’m absobloodylutely gobsmacked! These all sound and look great. But I’m feeling homesick today, so maybe I’ll ask you to get me some laverbread for a starter, then I’ll have a Scotch egg and chips, could that be?” - You smiled nicely at the waitress.
“I’ll trust your good taste and have the same!”
“I’m sorry ma’am, perhaps you could speak slower, and in a more understandable English?” - The waitress said almost laughing on your face, of how odd your accent sounded to her.
“Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, this one isn’t a good one, can we eat?!”- Venom asked excited.
Eddie was shocked with how inconvenient the waitress had been, and he almost felt like letting Venom bite her head off.
“That’s par (disrespectful comment), miss. Definitely not how you should treat a punter (costumer), but sure, I can try to translate my English for someone as dim (with lack of common knowledge) as you miss.”
“You really shouldn’t (Y/N) , I think you speak beautifully.” - Eddie put his hand over yours, reassuring you.
The waitress looked at you with a mix of disgust, confusion and ignorance.
“Look, I’m nearly losing my plot (going crazy) right now. It’s a shame how people make you feel like an alien sometimes. What a poor ability to understand people’s roots and culture some people have, but you’re taking the biscuit!”
“(Y/N)” - Eddie got up. - “Let’s go, I won’t let anyone make you feel bad, or ruin our evening.”
“It was an absolute clanger to come here!” - You got up , trying not to lose it. - “Have a nice evening!” - You stormed out the restaurant, Eddie followed you and grabbed your arm gently.
“I’m really sorry about that (Y/N)...”
You fought tears back.
“Did you ever feel like an alien Eddie?” - You looked up at him.
“All the time, yeah...” - He caressed your cheek.
“It’s just... So fucking revolting when people misjudge what they don’t fully understand, when they don’t even make the smallest effort to...” - Eddie knew this better than anyone. And there she was, the huffy (Y/N) he found so cute, but with a hint of sadness , which he wanted to make disappear. - “ I’m sorry I ruined the dinner...”
“First of all, it wasn’t your fault, and who said it was ruined, huh? What about going to my place and having a douchebag-free dinner? Well, except for me!” - He watched your lips curving into a smile , only he could do that in that moment.
“You’re no douchebag!” - You nudged him and you both went to his house.
You refused to let him make the dinner alone, insisting in helping him in whatever tasks you could. Eddie was lovely when he was focused, doing his mental checklist, as you watched him in delight. He wanted things to be just perfect, he just didn’t know his presence was all that you needed for everything to be perfect.
After enjoying the meal, you both sat on the sofa, chatting over a glass of good wine. From time to time Eddie had a piece of chocolate, just to keep Venom in check. He offered you some.
“No, thanks, you’re sweet enough already, if I have more sweetness in my life right now, I’ll have diabetes.” - You giggled.
The warmth of a few glasses of wine and the depth of the conversation made you both get closer.
“But do you know what dessert I wouldn’t mind having right now?”
You moved closer, leaning in, and your lips brushed on his, your heart fluttering. He ran his fingers down your check, bringing you closer with his other hand, until there was no empty space left between you. Your arms reached up, tangling around his neck, as he pressed his tongue gently to the seam of your lips, delving inside your mouth sweetly, the second you let him.
You had imagined this moment, but it never made justice to how good it felt in reality, the warmth, the feeling spreading throughout your whole body.
Eddie kept hungrily kissing you; the way your lips felt on his , that must have been the definition of magic, it obliterated his every thought, his mind was locked in that single moment.
His hand , which was resting on your waistline, suddenly turned black, Venom decided it was time for Eddie to make the next move and touch your skin, slowly sliding under your shirt. It was warm, and slippery.
“Eddie, you’re tickling me, I can’t focus like that!” - You broke the kiss laughing and took a moment to breath, opening your eyes and resting your forehead on his.
“I’m sorry...” - He smiled, and kissed you again before you noticed his hand. He then took it off your waist, shaking it frantically , trying to make Venom understand that that was not the moment for him to step in.
He pinned you between him and the sofa, his body pressing against yours. You bit his lower lip , pulling it playfully, and he lost control, letting a low moan escape his lips.
“Eddie, that’s not the physical reaction you have when I bite people...” - Venom made a cheeky remark.
“I just love dessert, man...” - Eddie got up, lifting you and helping you wrap your legs around his waist, as he filled you with kisses on the way to te bedroom.
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