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#i want it so bad i could probably cry about this if u asked me enough
babygirl-ftm · 2 years
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Ohhh my god I... I wanna date a girl so badly!!!! I would love to be dating another girl 🥺 I wanna kiss a girl SO MUCH 😭😭
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bigfatbimbo · 3 months
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ohmygod i have no idea how you manage to write about those characters so well fehjebhjeb i guess i'm riding the finale wave of excitement about lucifer so i wanted to ask if you're willing to write some nsfw headcanons about him? I absolutely agree he's way more submissive than he lets on and i loved your view on him being really vocal (curse u for opening my mind to the possibilities). How open do you think he would be about being pegged or having a general very praising dom loving his whimpering sounds of pleasure and just wanting to hear even more of them and what would get him to completely lose it
a/n — oh my gosh it’s funny you ask because i’ve actually already done smut headcanons
this request made me heavily consider just doing a fic where the reader pegs him but the people have decided on more nsfw hcs
i’ll still do that pegging fic tho..
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˚ ʚ♡ɞ˚ This has been said before but it doesn’t take much to get him worked up.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ So coaxing those pretty noises out of him would be easy.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Especially if you bring up how noisy he is. He would be all flustered and embarrassed about it but then proof your point more by whining.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ About having a very praising dom— he absolutely loves it. 
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He hasn’t been loved in so long that even if you guys aren’t fucking and you praise him he’d probably get really needy.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ If you degrade him too much I genuinely think he would cry because he literally tries so hard to please you it’s sad.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He will be so pathetic about it too and beg you to be nice again.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Edging would literally end him. Like I said he hasn’t gotten laid in a while so he definitely cums super fast.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ I had an anon once say that he probably would before his clothes were even off and that’s so true because he is desperate.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He would be so embarrassed after that and probably ask you if you wanted to leave because he’s literally so ashamed oh my god.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ But of course you don’t leave and you give him all the love and praise he deserves in bed.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ I don’t know if this is just a me thing but he needs love so bad I feel the need to give him 100% princess treatment in bed.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He really would want to please you and give back to you but maybe you just tie his hands together and tell him tonight was all about his needs.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Fuck him and praise him so that he wouldn’t even have to lift a finger— he would literally die under all the attention.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He whimpers A LOT like that’s probably the main noise he makes. 
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ I think it would take a second for him to say anything but he is really into being pegged by you.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He would like to be on his back with his legs wrapped around your torso so he could see you while you fuck him.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He’s a little guy so it would be so easy to manhandle him. Which is good because that literally turns him on so much.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Like you could probably hoist him up by his thighs and fuck him against the wall as he clings to your neck.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Oh. My. God. He’s done for. He’s so incredibly touch starved that being held like that while being treated by your strap or dick would literally send him reeling.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ After really hard days with his depression I think it would also be really comforting for him to be treated like that.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ But make sure it’s gentle and loving because if it’s too rough he’ll worry you’re mad at him.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ I wonder sometimes if he’d even sit on your lap while you fuck up into him. I mean I hope so because I highkey wanna breed this guy on my plastic dick.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He also loves when you sit on your face. He could literally just die between your legs it’s so crazy.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He could eat you out for literally hours especially if you’re moaning out praises while he does it because he really cares about making you feel good.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ I think he’s the type of guy to moan while he eats you out because just the idea of pleasuring you is enough to make him cum untouched.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He’s a pussy eater, what can I say? You saw that one shot of him in the finale… with the two fingers? Yeah, you know what i’m talking about.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Also he moans like a bitch when you suck his dick. Loves the feeling of your warm, wet mouth on him.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He’ll start praising you while you do it but can literally only speak for like two minutes before he’s completely incoherent.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Mark him up well and noticeably because he loves silently letting people know that he’s lucky enough to get fucked by you.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ He also can be incredibly smug. This guys KNOWS he’s adorable and he uses it.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Maybe you’re telling him off for not taking care of himself one day and he’s just gazing up at you with big innocent ‘fuck me’ eyes.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Oh, but he knows what he’s doing and he knows it gets under your skin.
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ You get fed up with it and end up pushing him down on whatever surface is nearest and fucking the life out of him. 
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Definitely edge him too for being such a fucking tease.
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a/n — The lucifor brainrot is killing me. Anyways expect the pegging fic later today because I need him so bad <3
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cat-toess · 8 months
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🂡🂡 LOVE SICK 🂡🂡
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Summary ✄: In which, Lyney is unbelievably, heads over heels with you.
Tags ✄: fluff, strangers to lovers (soon hehe), mid-length (sort of) one-sided pinning (for now...) gn!reader (intended, I sincerely apologize if not, please message me if you find any mistakes in terms of this topic! I will do my best to improve my writing :D)
Notes ✄: Lyney come home, please. I beg of u. come home at 15 pity (on my knees sobbing and crying rocks) pspspspspspspsps
P.S: I will be revising this even after this has been published, so if you find any grammatical errors then it might be fixed the next time you check <3 might even add paragraphs- so if you want, make sure to check in regularly!
Ft Lynette, being the best wing woman in the history of teyvat.
PART 2 ✄: Lovesick pt.2
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Lynette was always supporting Lyney. Whether it was behind the scene or in front of the audience of their spectacular magic shows. Always wanting the best for her brother, silently looking out for him (although she may not show it directly on her face).
But there were some situations where she could not back up her dear brother. 
Said ‘situation’ being her brother's ridiculous one-sided crush on you, a stranger turned friend that Lynette had met while shopping for some new tea brews. You, a fellow tea enthusiast, passing by recommended her some of your favorites. Which ended in a lengthy conversation between you and her about the teas of the world. 
Now this wasn’t the usual silly crush Lyney would have that only lasted (at best) 1 week. No he was horrendously down bad. Even Lynette, who had no experience in the romance department mind you, could notice her brother's admiration to you immediately. Hell she could probably spot his stupid heart eyes all the way from Celestia. 
It was only a matter of time until the entirety of Fontaine and their grandmothers and children knew of Lyney’s infatuation with you. 
This led her to her current predicament. 
“Lynette please, do your lovely, wonderful and majestic brother one favor! Introduce me to your ethereal friend from earlier!”  Her brother dramatically whined. Clinging to his sister's leg like it was his lifeline. 
“I would if you weren’t being such a creep about them, you’ll scare them away if you meet them in such a state.” Lynette grumbled. 
Even Freminet, who usually kept to himself started to feel bad for Lyney. 
“Lynette, it wouldn’t hurt to introduce Lyney to Y/N, would it?” He asked. Looking down at Lyney who was close to tears.
“Thank you Freminet! See Freminet sides with me!”  Lyney exclaims, gesturing to Freminet, who is quietly sitting in a chair minding his own business. 
“Fine, I’m meeting them today at Café Lucerene. I’ll introduce you to them there, okay Lyney?” Lynette sighed in annoyance (though she was a little happy since she’s never seen her brother so mesmerized with someone.) As soon as she says those words, his face lights up almost immediately, the signs of sadness are long gone from his face. Lyney jumps up to Lynette to go in for a hug. A hug that she swiftly dodges with a sour expression.
“I truly owe you my beloved sister! But before that mind helping me pick out a few strategies to greet Y/N? I can’t fumble my charming first appearance with my future lover, can I?” Lyney giggles, like a young school girl in love Lynette thinks. 
“Fine…” Lynette murmurs. 
——
By preparing, Lynette thought her brother would only ask her opinion on how to greet you or what to compliment about you first.
She didn’t mean to agree helping out her brother immaculately plan a custom-made show for you. 
“Lynette! Which bird should I pull out of my hat? The classic magician favorite, the pigeon? Or the epitome of love, the dove? Or maybe my dearest may prefer one of those weird exotic birds from Sumeru? What were they called again?” Lyney pondered for a second before Lynette interrupted his thinking. 
“You mean the dusk bird?” Lynette quips. 
“Yes that one! Or maybe something bigger? Like a sumpter beast? Or even better a Phantasm-“ 
“Lyney! You are not summoning dangerous beasts through your hat, also what if they attack Y/N?” Lynette says as she rubs her head. Maybe Lyney's stupidity was finally starting to rub on to her.
“Hmm, you have a point a suppose, however would I marry them if they were buried 6 ft below me.” Lyney dramatically exclaims placing his hand on his forehead. 
Lynette sometimes worries about her brother these days, ever since he met you, he keeps feeding himself delusions that you two were meant to be. He even had a whole life plan for the two of you, he decided that your first child should be named Lyney/Lynette jr (depending on if they were a boy or girl, her brother had said) .
“Wait a moment… Lynette I have the most spectacular idea, listen closely.” Lyney blurted out, an imaginary light bulb appearing on his head.
—— 
Now here she was, hiding at a nearby table at the Café she and you were supposed to meet. Originally you two would meet here to exchange tea brews you found over the week and have a brief talk about them. But this time it was different. 
The first part of the sibling's elaborate plan was to tell you that Lynette was sick so her brother Lyney came to pick up the tea instead. 
So here Lyney is standing near the table, patiently waiting for (his soon-to-be) love of his life to arrive. As if on cue you arrive and Lyney is already enchanted with your appearance. Ogling at you like a hopless person in love. Lynette had never cringed so hard in her life.
Lynette has to stop the insane urge to groan at her brother's antics. 
“Hi Lynette, the green tea this time is- Oh? You’re not Lynette? “ You say in confusion, staring at the young man in front of you. You had seen him before on posters and the front page of The Steambird and all that, so you were surprised at the least to see a famous face instead of Lynette (who was also famous, but that aside) 
“Greetings, exquisite friend of my sister.” Lyney bows, but as he tips his hat a swarm of doves fly out of his hat. “I am Lyney, Lynette’s brother.” He says as he magically makes a bouquet of rainbow roses appear in his hand, and gives them to you. 
Who knew Lynette's brother was such a charmer. 
“Oh hello, nice to meet you Lyney. I’m Y/N” You say politely flashing him a smile (one which made his stomach do flips) 
“No need to introduce yourself, I’ve heard so much about you from my sister.” He says, revealing a charming smirk of his own.
“ I see, if I may ask where is Lynette today?” you ask out of curiosity, looking around searching for your fellow tea lover. (sorry if you don't like tea)
“Ah, sadly my darling sister is sick today, so I have come instead of her to pick up the tea. I accepted the offer as soon as she mentioned it. Who would want to miss the opportunity to meet a person as beautiful as yourself.” He comments, gently holding your hand as he brings it up to his mouth to kiss the front of your hand.
Lynette was praying to Celestia and all the beings above that her brother would choke on his own spit.
“Why, thank you.” You say, not expecting to be drowned in compliments by this stranger. Your demeanor goes from calm to slightly flustered in a matter of minutes. (I mean who wouldn't with Lyney around, honestly)
Lynette internally wonders what could you ever possibly see in that obnoxious brother of hers? 
For a while you two engage in a friendly conversation about simple things like the weather and so on. Soon enough you two get more comfortable as Lyney starts to show you a variety of magic tricks.
"No way you're actually getting my card-"
"Is this your card?"
"You weren't joking-"
Lynette sighs as she starts preparing for phase 2. 
The second part of their scheme was to get Lynette to conjure a strong gust of wind to knock you off your feet so that Lyney could catch you and scoop you up. Like in those popular plays. 
This much should be enough. Lynette thinks to herself as she summons a gust of wind headed straight to your direction. Aimed at you of course. 
But what is this? The wind blows a little off track and hits Lyney instead. 
The next few seconds were like they were in slow motion, Lyney has a surprised expression on his face as he plummeted down to the floor. Lynette is laughing at her brother. Holding her stomach and rolling on the floor (an unusual sight for the people watching the scene unfold, only used to the cool and composed Lynette.)
That is until you grab Lyney into your arms last second and suspend him a few centimeters above the ground.
Would you look at this? Lynette thinks. 
The plan had completely backfired. 
Oh well, her brother would be delighted with the results either way. 
“Are you okay Lyney?” You ask concern lacing your voice. 
Lyney thinks his name never sounded prettier than when it came from your lips, with your voice. 
“Yeah I am, sorry about that.” The usually flirty and confident magician is nowhere to be found. His cheeks were tinted with a rosy hue of pink as his mind went in spirals. 
“No problem, it was nothing.” 
An awkward yet (sort of) romantic silence envelopes both of you. The two you staring at each other's eyes and shyly glancing at each other for a few minutes. 
Lynette was a hair away from barfing up all of her breakfast and possibly her internal organs. 
You were the first to snap out of the trance like state.
“Well, I have to go soon… I’ll see you later I guess?” You ask, waving your farewells to the blonde. Slowly heading back home.
“Yeah, see you later.”  Lyney waves back, a smile adorning his gorgeous facial features. 
Lynette pops out of her hiding spot, and takes a metal note of her brothers' expression. 
“You’re down bad, aren’t you?” 
“Lynette!” 
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@cat-toess 2023 please do not plagiarize or copy on other sites <3 Reblogs are appreciated, but please give credit :D if you have feedback please refrain from being offensive <3
The amount of horrible grammatical errors I found in this is crazy- I sincerely apologize 🥲
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Some of my other posts with Lyney...
❁ Lyney Hcs
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lola-bunn1 · 1 year
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can u do one where neteyam is expected to find a mate and you get distant and all bc yk its not gonna be you and another guy makes a move on u and he gets mad n confession n stuff? i love ur writing
oblivious
❥ genre: angsty ish to fluff
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10 years, you've been best friends with neteyam for 10 years. you both saw each other grow up, and now it's over. you know it is
neteyam has finally matured, he was ready to get an ikran, ready to go hunting with the others, and most of all, he was now expected to mate.
you know whoever he's gonna mate with is not gonna like you being friends with him, you admit it yourself, you wouldn't like your partner spending time with another girl. so you understood why it would happen
so you began distancing yourself, as a preparation. but also to ease the pain for when you finally see him with someone that isn't you. it was bound to happen. you were stupid enough to fall for him, and now it was going to be harder than it should be
you cried, you cried at night just thinking about the way life would be, you were sure he didn't feel the same, besides, he was going to be the next olo'eyktan, he needed to have someone proper, someone actually important
who were you to be mating with someone like him? he would probably pick elmirìey, she was a proper girl, a gorgeous one. or maybe he'd pick awia, she was a great warrior, from a great family
not only did you distance yourself from him, but his family too. you were so close to them, hell even neytiri liked you. but now, you acted like you didn't even know them
you sat at a special spot you found in the forest, you and neteyam used to come here but he's too busy now. so its just you
"hey!" you heard a voice behind you
"oh, neteyam" you said
"what a way to greet me, do you not want me around that much?"
"what?" you furrowed your eyebrows
"don't be like that. you know exactly what I'm talking about." he said
"I heard you're looking for a mate now that you've had your ceremony"
he sighed, knowing you're trying to change the subject, "yeah. but to be honest, I've already found one. Just gotta figure out a way to tell her"
your heart shattered.
"oh, that's nice. I um, I have to go" you said
"y/n wait-"
and with that, you ran off somewhere, your tears sliding down your cheeks, how could he find one so fast? does he love her that much? has he been loving her, just waiting for his ceremony so he can finally pick her?
"oh" you heard a voice and sighed
"I'm sorry I ran--" you said, turning around to see that it was not neteyam speaking
"are-are you okay? you look like you've been crying" the man said
"i'm fine, thanks tenio" you said, wiping your tears
tenio was a fine young man, he was actually really nice, but you've never really talked to him
"i was just looking for some fruits to pick for my mother, but ill leave you alone-"
"no no, you can stay uh, i know where you can get the ripe ones, follow me" you said, walking along the forest with him next to you, you two talked for a bit as he was picking the fruit
"i heard you had your ceremony the other day" you said
"yeah, it sucks though." he said
"wait what? why so?" you asked
"well everyone is waiting for me to mate with someone, but there isn't anyone in my life, ill have to mate with some random stranger" he sighed
"oh...im so sorry"
"it's fine-"
"there you are!" neteyam's voice filled your ears, he turned to see tenio there, and his face faltered
"let's go" he said, grabbing your hand and walking away, an angry look on his face, you definitely did not want to do anything to upset him more
"uh, tell your mother i said hi! enjoy the fruits!" you said and he just nodded
once he was out of sight you pulled away
"why were you with him?!" he said
"i was just helping him pick fruits!"
"everybody knows that trick! you help him and he subtly mentions that he has nobody to mate with so you can feel bad"
"you're being insane right now. nobody has ever done that" you rolled your eyes
"they have, you just never realize it" he yelled
"what if i do realize it, hm? what if i want them to do it? why don't you go tell your stupid girl how much you want her to be your mate and leave me alone!"
"i can't go"
"why not!" you yelled
"because she's standing right in front of me"
"what?"
"it's you, y/n. i don't want anyone else why don't you understand that? you think I don't notice how you've been avoiding me and my family too?"
"i-i avoided you because i couldn't stand seeing you with another girl."
"wait-you thought i was gonna mate with someone else?" he asked
you looked down and avoided looking at him, he lifted your chin up with his finger
"i've been waiting for years to finally make you mine, y/n. it hurts me to see you with anyone else too."
"really?" you asked
"i see you, y/n."
"i see you, ma nete" you smiled, and the two of you shared a kiss
how were you so oblivious?
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jaehyunsprincesspeach · 4 months
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hi! hope you’re doing well and staying healthy 🩵
I was wondering if I could request a wayv reaction to their s/o out of nowhere smothering them with kisses please? hehe that’ll be all
thanks! <3
omg i literally love this my heart is sparkling !!
hope you enjoy !!
all the love ~ lunar
WayV Reactions: smothering them with kisses
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Kun
initially he is going to be shocked, but like he would just kinda freeze where he is and process what is happening
once he finally understands that you are showing your love and affection, he swoops you into the warmest embrace
even if he tried, the smile etched on his lips is not going away any time soon
he would do one of those hugs where he picks you up and spins you around (a dream truly)
once he sets you back on the ground, he gladly returns the affection, making you flustered too
now the two of you are a blushing giggling mess but like its the cutest thing in the world
with Kun, there’s something about it that’s almost like …. domestic
like the two of you never really get out of the honeymoon phase cause yall are just so excited when you get to see each other
and things like this never fail to show that
rest of members below the cut
Ten
oh goodness ….
at first he might question whats happening
like whats with the sudden rush of affection (not that hes complaining)
would first ask if you’re okay
and then this man is going to tease you relentlessly
“you miss me baby?” “i know, you want me so bad”
low key his teasing might ruin the moment
however !! he never fails to bring it back
like if u smother him with affection, and he starts teasing you, and you give him the side eye, hes gonna grab you and wrap you up in his arms and start leaving smooches all over your neck
slight chance it could turn into something steamyyy ;)
Winwin
genuinely would not know what to do
like he would turn into a sim (iykyk)
and would become an absolute blushing mess
once you’re done, he would just smile, and kiss your cheek
but honestly he would be too stunned to speak, like he would just be there blushing and giggling to himself
i think he has a little bit of a hard time in the sense that he always wants to make others happy, but when someone like compliments him, or when his partner shows him affection, he might freeze a little
but once he becomes more comfortable with the spontaneous smooches, hes more than happy to return them !!
honestly i think he would have an easier time showing affection to his partner
but he still would freeze up when the affection is a surprise like this
loves it regardless !!
Xiaojun
sweet baby angel is so shocked…
like he initially is worried that you’re upset about something, or that he hasn’t given you enough attention
starts asking if you are okay, or if something is wrong
once he finds out you’re okay, he smiles and pulls you in for a hug
he’s so sweet, but the embrace is low key a cover for the tickles that hes about to shock you with
will literally stand there tickling you, not to be mean or anything like that, just because he enjoys hearing your laugh
when hes done with the tickles, he smooches your lips a few times before pulling you back into a hug
will probably pull you to the couch and just hold you for a little bit too
simply wants to enjoy your presence, but he wont be able to hide the blush from your previous kisses
Hendery
i love this man with my entire being omg
Hendery will stand there as if he is processing what just happened
in reality, hes planning something else
hes really looking around and making sure the area is safe before he tackles you to the ground so that you dont actually get hurt
an affectionate tackle, that leads to an affectionate tickle fight, that leads to you literally crying from laughing so hard
yes he is blushing, but now you look like a tomato after he is done with his tickle fight
“Hendery, i just wanted to kiss you!! why did you tickle me?” “because i’m literally in love with you”
after you catch your breath, still pinned on the ground, he places the softest yet most passionate kiss on your lips
as if you werent already breathless before ….
“you know, you didnt kiss my lips once… you kissed everywhere but my lips actually…”
the playful smirk never leaving his face as he teases you
omg i’m getting carried away…..
Yangyang
omg Yangyang is literally so cute about it
initially he will be a little surprised, but once your kiss attack has ended, its his turn
as soon as you stop smothering him in kisses, he starts smothering you in kisses
genuinely, i could see this continuing for a while too
like just back and forth attacking each other with affection
as it keeps going, he keeps getting closer and closer to your lips, till you two are locked in a passionate kiss
by the end of it, both of you are blushing like crazy, and giggling like you’ve gone mad
hes absolutely pulling you into his lap, and simply staring at you as if there is nothing more beautiful in the world (hes not wrong)
keeps you in his lap the rest of the night
genuinely will pout if you try to leave
like “you just smothered me with affection, and now you have the audacity to sit anywhere but my lap???”
refuses to let you go (unless he absolutely has to)
hes just so happy that you are his and he loves when you show him affection !!
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mickyschumacher · 7 months
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NGL I LOVE UR WORK... ive been hopping thru ur m.list since the last hour.... its currently 1 am and i have an essay to finish before 8 am(im sure my prof will give me more time ik dey love me) anywasy i was wondering if u could do an enemies to lovers with Lewis((like really hated eachother)the reader could be a driver its oky don mind what she does) and then they were arguing abt sumting lewis says something thats completely out of the line and she starts crying in front him then he just kinda leaves her be, a few days later he would go on then apologize to her abt wat he said and then more fluff. (just ignore this if ur not into it or not takin a request at the moment. but im actually just hapi i kind of got the courage to ask u for a request also ur stories are soooo good i admire and envy u at the same time.)
𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐌𝐄  .ೃ࿐
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: as lewis's former teammate, there are lines that shouldn't be crossed. but a bad move from lewis puts him completely out of line.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: enemies to lovers trope!, poor humour, some fluff, in depth moment of an alternated 2021 wdc (apologies in advance), therefore ANGST, bad race jargon, horner and masi discussed :(, mention of intermittent explosive disorder, misogyny, allusion to racism (not from the reader ofc!), shitting on the fia for a bit, lewis kinda being a dick for probably an unfair reason lol, a proclamation of feelings from sir lewis himself
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: lewis hamilton x red bull!driver!fem!reader
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3k+
𝐀/𝐍: you're too sweet to me! 🤧 i couldn't tell if you wanted this to be romantic but i went that way in the end! hope this was good! ♡︎ very very loosely based of swift's 'right where you left me'. but if you argued it wasn't, i would be inclined to agree. proof-read...ish?
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
⋆  •°.  。  .°•  ⋆
No one ever truly understood your move to Red Bull. It was in 2019, far from when Max was practically living on pole, so Red Bull wasn't exactly a threat to Mercedes, your previous team. Toto had even put a three-year extension on the table several months before your contract came close to expiring.
Yet you had chosen to sign with the devil.
When the commentators, journalists, and fans took a closer look at your decision, the only thing they could all collectively agree on was that you had moved to Red Bull because of Lewis Hamilton. Because you both couldn't keep your differences aside and Lewis had finally struck your last nerve.
While you weren't quite sure about the last part, the first was true. You had Lewis had never ever exactly met eye-to-eye. Every F1 driver had a specific style of driving. You liked to call Lewis' the 'calm before the storm'. He raced with a composure and maturity that most drivers did not hold. He was particularly calculative and the everyone loved him.
You, on the other hand, had given yourself a new nickname along side 'Flash 13' because you did everything in a flash: you overtook ruthlessly and calculated, you pushed the car till it was undrivable, and you were decisive to the very nanosecond. But you had also garnered yourself the name 'IED', after the behavioural disorder.
In part this nickname was due to the misogyny you faced as the only current female driver in F1 but also due to the sheer anger that bursted out of you whenever you encountered Lewis.
The amount of warnings Toto had given the both of you was simply endless. He had even resorted to putting you two with the team therapist.
The source of your hatred for each other was as clear as day. You hated Lewis' arrogance because somehow it was even worse than Rosberg, Alonso, Räikkönen, and Verstappen. And Lewis hated you for your 'perspective'. You didn't know what he initially meant by that but you regretted asking him. He said you needed to be stronger to be in F1 and that you were far too soft-hearted. Right after you had gotten your first ever pole.
It was ridiculous, to say the least.
No F1 driver was soft-hearted. You were all, simply put, a bunch of dicks. Not literally, of course. Naturally, following that comment, Lewis had pissed you off. He hadn't even had a second to know you before even making that judgement. It was ironic as well, considering your nickname that labelled your anger.
After watching Lewis win several championship titles with you following multiple places behind and seeing you only get angrier with each other, you had decided to call it quits for Mercedes. If people were going to take your annoyance and frustrations with amusement, you were going to head to the angriest team of all and leave your former team fuming.
Two years later, in 2021, you had finally gotten the perfect opportunity.
You hadn't really a clue how exactly Red Bull had made the 2021 car so well that you were matching the speed of Mercedes' car but you didn't care. You were matching Lewis. And Christian Horner was a happy man. A sexist prick but a happy man nonetheless.
Pole was either Lewis' or yours. Either he was a Grand Prix winner or you were. It was a game of cat and mouse, always in a constant pursuit of each other. The same went from your team leaders, Toto and Christian, who practically had the race director, Masi, on speed dial.
And by Abu Dhabi, you were equally tied, locked at 369.5 points. It hadn't been easy after getting penalised for multiple incidents against Lewis, but you were here. Lewis was trying to get his eighth championship and you your first.
You weren't sure how this was going to end. Heck, no one could've predicted what happened that day. But all you knew was that you were not going down without a fight.
You secured pole in Abu Dhabi which had put the entirety of Mercedes and F1 on edge. After a discussion with your engineer and several strategists, you had opted for soft tyres to further your advantage over Lewis.
Despite all of that, it was Lewis who had led the first corner after those red lights had gone out. It was only by turn six did you even get a lead. But it was a moment too short as your former teammate regained his top position by going off into the damn run-off area of the track.
You didn't need to scream in annoyance. You couldn't hear Horner, but deep down you knew he had already called up Masi, demanding an investigation. Your engineer reported to you that the stewards had dismissed it. The gap between you and Lewis was getting bigger, the race was coming to and end, and you knew you needed a miracle towards the end of the race if you wanted to win.
And that miracle was called Nicholas Latifi. The poor guy had crashed into Mick and the safety car was out on the tracks. Thankfully, they were both okay, but the timing of it was simply impeccable.
You had pitted to get new soft tyres and Mercedes was on the fence about heading to the pit lane in fear of the race restarting. So Lewis didn't pit. Miracle 2.
You re-joined the track with five lapped cars in between you and Lewis. And soon enough, Race Control had given the dooming message: lapped cars were not allowed to overtake.
The taste in your mouth was bitter. You had cussed out Horner, asking why you were even seeing these lapped cars in front of you.
Then came Race Control again: only the five cars in between you and Lewis were allowed to overtake. Miracle 3.
But of course, F1 had a flair for the dramatics. Because you were fucking restarting. Putting you and Lewis on a tight show-down for the final lap.
The bad news? Lewis hadn't pitted yet.
The good news? You could overtake Lewis. Miracle 4.
And the headline? You won.
You fucking won.
You were F1's first female champion in history.
You made history... or, well, herstory?
Yes it was controversial. Yes it was dramatic. Yes, questionable decisions had been made.
But you won.
By the time you had gotten out of your car and finished with screaming and crying in pure happiness, you had finally caught a glimpse of Lewis.
A small part of you felt bad. You knew for a fact, that these decisions weren't 'human error' as the FIA would go on to claim the following year in Bahrain.
It was entertainment. It was business. It was money.
You had both worked so hard this year. But the fight between an F1 driver breaking the record for the most championship titles and the first possible female champion in F1 was too good to resist.
Things between you and Lewis after Abu Dhabi hadn't gotten worse. You just talked far less than you normally did. You barely argued with each other anymore. It was disconcerting to say the least. Especially now that you were struggling to match Max's pace, always coming second or third as per the instructions of your engineer. For a moment you thought, what was the point of winning if you weren't going to win again?
━━━━━━━━━━━
You were still determined. Beating your own teammate would be hard. But you weren't a stranger to the idea. You had spent years trying to beat Lewis while purposely being the support for him to win. They were two actions they didn't go together but it had happened.
That being said, the venture was proving to be more difficult than you anticipated. In fact, it had caused a full collision with Lewis in the first lap of the Qatar Grand Prix.
You were so focused on beating Max you hadn't taken a second to look around you.
"What the fuck was that?" Lewis' voice invaded the air as he barged into your driver's room, ridden with sweat and still in his racing gear.
"Look, I'm sorry okay. I didn't see you. It was my fault. End of story," You told him curtly, not really wanting talk to Lewis any further.
"Damn right, you didn't see me. You could've taken me or anyone out! Are you so fucking stuck up your ass that you couldn't see me?" Lewis asked incredulously.
You scoffed at his accusation. It was true. But you didn't like when the truth fell from his lips... especially not when they sounded like that.
"Lewis, drop it. No one got hurt. Let's just move on okay?" You queried, annoyance dripping from your voice.
"Why? Can't handle the truth, L/N?" He laughed gently, almost mocking you. "Right... you were always like that."
You snapped your head towards him, raising a sharp brow. "Excuse me?" You spat as if to say he was becoming dangerously close to crossing a line he did not want to cross.
Lewis folded his arms, shrugging nonchalantly. "What? You don't like the truth. It's simple. I told you that you need to be stronger because you're too soft-hearted. And you hated that. And now that I'm telling you that you're selfish, you obviously can't handle it."
"Oh my God, you are one to talk. Lewis, you are so blinded by your arrogance that you can't see anyone else win. That's why you can't accept that I won right?"
"Not Abu Dhabi, aga–"
"Yes, Lewis, Abu Dhabi again. You are so fucking sour about losing that even when the hate targeted me, you let it. You let them say that my win was due to race and gender. Me, Lewis, out of all people, me."
No matter your differences, you had stuck up for Lewis on many accounts when it came to the FIA, 'fans', and haters. But he wasn't there for you.
You could see dark expression fall onto Lewis' face. "That's not true, Y/N."
"Then what was it Lewis?" You flailed your hands in exasperation. "Because you sure as hell didn't come to my aid."
"Because you didn't deserve it!"
You blinked blankly, arms falling to your side. Your mind took a minute to process the words that had fallen from his lips in mere seconds.
Lewis' face dropped as realisation struck him. What the fuck did he just say? "Y/N, I–"
"Get out," You grumbled.
Lewis did a double-take on the fresh line of tears accumulating on your waterline. He took a step closer to you, hands reaching out. "No, no, no, Y/N, I–" But your words made him stop.
"Lewis, get the fuck out of here before I start screaming like the bitch everyone thinks I am."
You watched Lewis return his hands to the side, clenching his jaw tightly as he made way to the door of your room. He stopped briefly, hesitating to open the door, taking one last glance at you before leaving.
━━━━━━━━━━━
Four days.
You had pondered in deep thought for four days. And after 72 hours, one thing had become obvious to you.
Lewis wasn't with you or any of the other drivers. He was still in 2021, right where you had left him. Not a second had gone by for Lewis where he hadn't thought about Abu Dhabi.
What if he had just pushed for Bono and Toto to get him in that pit lane?
What if he had veered the car a little to the side and you didn't overtake him?
Lewis was still reliving the worst moment of his career and his life and everyone had moved on. Sure, every fan and commentator talked about it time to time. But it was something of the past.
To say you didn't deserve your championship title... you had heard it from several 'fans' and insignificant others. But to hear it from Lewis? It fucking killed you.
You cared about his opinion more than anyone in the world. And he knew that.
You would've never said anything as shitty as that to him or anyone for that matter.
You had worked your ass off to get to F1. Fuck, you had won F2 two fucking times because no one was willing to let a girl on their team... into a man's sport. Every driver worked hard to a certain degree. But you were a girl who didn't grow up with the means of driving yourself to your death every day. If everyone worked hard, you had worked ten times harder.
Everyone knew that you and Lewis had fought. And by the looks of it, they also knew it was far worse than your normal fights. You wouldn't look at him, you refused to speak to him, you spent minimal time in the same room, you had even paid your media fines in full to avoid everyone...
Max had even become some sort of bodyguard, telling Lewis to turn back around when he neared the Red Bull garage.
All of this protection, and yet, he had still found you in your favourite place. The one you both came to when you needed to become level-headed. The top stand of any empty Grand Prix, in this case the México Grand Prix, where the air felt a little bit cooler against your heated skin and you could think for even it was for just a second.
You sucked in a sharp breath, seeing Lewis in your periphery while you were firmly seated. He looked nervous, chewing on his bottom lip and taking cautious glances at you.
"Hey," Lewis greeted, making you raise a brow at his lame entrance.
You forced yourself to look at the rest of the empty seats in front of you. "Hey," You mumbled back, trying to swallow the bitter taste in your mouth.
An unsettling silence enveloped the both of you. You were sure Lewis was here to apologise. But you could also tell he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Not in a selfish way. But in the most guiltiest way possible.
You sighed. "How are you?" You asked gently, peeking out of the corner of your eye.
Lewis winced at your question. Leave it up to you to still be this kind after what he had said to you. "Sorry. I'm so so sorry," He rasped, voice raw with the pain that had been gnawing away at him ever since those god forbidden words had left his mouth.
You nodded slowly, taking another deep breath. "I know you're going to call me soft-hearted but what you said really fucking hurt, Lew," You jested with a brief smile.
Lewis grimaced at your poor humour, before his ears perked up at the old nickname you had given him when you first started getting on each other's nerves. "I know. I'm an idiot for saying something like that. Or that you're soft-hearted. You've worked so hard for all of this. You absolutely deserve everything and that win was only the first of many, I'm a hundred percent sure of it. Your Dutch shortie doesn't really know what's coming."
You gave him a tight-lipped smile after huffing in amusement at his diss towards Max. "Thank you," you told him earnestly. "Although, I am quite positive he is like almost ten centimetres taller than you. But, thanks anyways."
Lewis rolled his eyes. "Have you seen me? You don't think I give off tall energy?"
"You mean tall in insults?" You joked, grinning at the blank look on Lewis' face.
Lewis sighed. "I really am sorry. I didn't mean any of it. And by 'it', I mean all of the insults and fights. I was just disappointed in myself. Even more so that I didn't stand up for you. I'm so sorry."
You drew your eyebrows together, turning your body to face him. Confusion filled you. "Then why did you say it at all?"
"I–" Lewis blew out a small laugh. "Are you sure you want to know?"
"Lewis, can you not see me dying here? Like a whole kitchen set of knives in my back?" You deadpanned.
Lewis rolled his eyes again. So dramatic.
He brought his hands together, staring at you briefly before looking at the empty stand. "Well, obviously, I heard of you before you joined Mercedes. I thought it was ridiculous that you had to get two F2 championships to get a seat, but anyways, I digress. Toto told me, he was considering you even though you had never been in the junior team.
And I remember just being so fucking jealous of you. Toto was consumed by you. He and Horner had been fighting for your seat for so long and now that they finally had an open seat, it was chaos. Toto won, obviously. And then we met each other in person for the first time and I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world."
You felt your heart begin to race and your skin heat at the sudden proclamation. "You... you what?"
Lewis smoothly glossed over the compliment. "And then we had our first quali together and you beat me. You got pole on your first race. So you were talented and beautiful. A crime, might I add.
And so when you came to tell me, you were so excited with all your talent and beauty, I was pissed. Because out of all things in the world, I had gotten an amazing competitor I was bound to feel for. I thought that by saying you were soft-hearted and all, it would get on your bad side and it would make me less attracted to you. It didn't. It got worse while it got easier to pretend to hate you."
You blinked blankly at him, cheeks aflame. Lewis Hamilton liked you. Your stupid teammate? The same one who's eighth championship you arguably took? "I'm sorry... hold up, we've been fighting for years because I'm a hot, talented, gifted, smart driver and you're a simp?"
Lewis squinted his brown eyes at you. "I did not include all those adjectives."
"I mean... that's basically what you said," You shrugged, flickering your eyes to the setting sun.
Where did all the damn cool air go? You wondered, pressing your hands to your flushed cheeks and feeling your soft palm absorb the molten lava known as your skin.
Lewis chuckled, picking up your flustered reaction quickly. He watched as you suddenly stood up. "Okay, well I'm... I'm going to meet Hugh and find a way to beat Max. See ya!"
Lewis paused, grabbing your wrist. "Wait? What? You aren't going comment about what I just said?"
You eyed his hold on your wrist: it was searing you. You turned to him, lowering your head to meet his gaze. You briefly looked down at his lips before looking back up. "I think I prefer hating you."
Lewis felt you press your lips on his cheek before walking past him. He watched your retreating figure, your kiss feeling heavy on his face, putting him right where you had left him: absolutely and utterly smitten.
© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑
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moonstruckme · 6 months
Note
Hi!!! I saw you did a poly!marauders with a plus!dive reader who’s insecure…
Can you write one where the reader is shying away from intimacy with the boys because they’re insecure and feeling ick about their body? Like not just sex but also physical touch like hugs or especially sitting on their laps? It can include smut too if you’d like!
I’m feeling pretty ick about my size rn and the fix really helped me! Thank u sm for your writing
Thanks sm for requesting lovely! I hope you start to feel better soon <33
cw: insecurity around size/weight, talk of traditional beauty standards
poly!marauders x plus size!reader ♡ 1.3k words
The funny thing is, the boys have been wearing away at your instincts for months. It’s no conscious effort for them, but for you it’s impossible not to notice. Before you got together, you’d been used to shying away from nearly every touch. You rarely hugged anyone, kissed only chastely, and shunned most physical intimacy. But though they’ve gone about it in a gentlemanly way, never putting pressure on you, your boyfriends have slowly changed that. Now hardly a day goes by without James having had his arm around your waist, Remus raking casual touches up your leg, or Sirius turning a kiss into a feely makeout. 
Unfortunately, you still have your bad days. Earlier this week you’d looked too long into the mirror, and of course found a dozen things to hate about your body, and hadn’t wanted any of the boys to touch you since. When Sirius’ hand had smoothed over your lower back yesterday, skimming the rolls of fat at your sides, you’d almost thought you’d be sick before you could get away from him. You couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d feel there, what he’d think of you when he did. You’re not stupid; you know your boyfriends can see you, but touching is something different. What they probably want to feel isn’t what you have to offer, perfectly smooth skin and sloping, gentle curves. It sometimes feels like you’re keeping the secret of your true form from them, and if they discover it they’ll see you the same way you do. 
“So, what’s the big secret?” Sirius asks as you come into the common room. All three boys are tangled up on the couch, and the other two turn to look when he calls out to you. 
You give him a bemused sort of smile, perching on the armrest next to James. Careful not to put much of your weight on it. “What do you mean?” 
“Don’t play coy.” Sirius narrows his eyes at you playfully. “I saw you whispering with Evans earlier, glancing at us all mischievously. What’re you two up to?” 
You have to bite down on your smile. Sirius’ birthday is coming up, and you and Lily are in charge of his surprise party plans. James and Remus are involved too, of course, but it’s far easier for you and Lily to speak about it in your dorm at night, whereas your boyfriends hardly get any time apart to partake in secret plans. 
“Oh,” you say breezily, “that was nothing. She was asking if we’re going to hogsmeade tomorrow. I told her we are.” 
James smiles at you conspiratorially, bringing a hand to your thigh and rubbing up and down in silent support. You almost have a heart attack. You place your hand hastily atop his, intertwining your fingers as cover for your panicked response. James doesn’t seem unhappy with the change, resting his head against your arm as he strokes his thumb across the back of your hand. 
“Should we make it a study session in hogsmeade?” Remus asks, neatly keeping the subject away from Sirius’ party. “We’ve all got that potions paper due Monday.” 
“I’ve finished,” you admit, “but I’m still open to studying if you guys want to.” 
Remus rewards you with a smile as Sirius rolls his eyes good-naturedly. “Show-off,” he mutters. 
“Shut up, Pads,” James says, always looking for any opportunity to take your side over Sirius’. He grabs your waist before you can stop him, tugging you off the armrest. 
No sooner do you land on his lap than you’re springing to your feet. “James!” you cry, batting at his hands when they reach to pull you back. “You can’t just do that, I’ll crush you!”  
Thick eyebrows fly up past the rims of James’ glasses and disappear behind his curls. “I’m sorry,” he says, in a tone that clearly means the opposite, “do you really think I’m so weak that I’ll crumble from you sitting on my lap?”
“It’s not—”
“Fucking hell,” Sirius cuts in, looking horrified, “if you think James can’t handle you, what do you think of Remus and I?”
“I’ll bench press you right now,” James insists, trying to push the other boys aside so he has room to lay down. “Come here, lovie, we’ll see who’s weak.” 
The laugh that emerges from your throat borders on hysterical. “I wasn’t trying to say that anyone here was weak, okay? I just…” There’s no good way to phrase that last part, and you think for a moment to simply leave it there, but Remus leans forward, setting his elbows on his knees with an expression that clearly reads go on. “I know I’m not, like, a tiny delicate bird,” you laugh, aiming for flippancy. 
No one laughs with you. 
“But I don’t need any of you to respond to that,” you hurry to say. “I know it’s a weird subject, and there’s, like, no right way, really, to…to respond.” You trail off dumbly, wishing desperately that you’d never broached the subject in the first place. 
After a moment of silence, you chance a glance up, but one look at Sirius’ visage, bordering on outraged, has your gaze defaulting back to your lap. “Sorry,” you say in a small voice. “Can we forget about it?” 
“That’s alright, love.” Remus' voice is dulcet, so low you would never normally have heard him if the other two boys weren’t so uncharacteristically silent. “Listen, we don’t have to talk about anything you don’t want to, but can I just say something?” 
You look up to nod at him, finding his countenance equal parts troubled and patient. His mouth is pursed like he’s worried that if he’s not careful, the wrong words will come flying out. At your nod of assent, he speaks, clearly and firmly. 
“I don’t want you to look like a bird.” 
You almost laugh again, it’s such an absurd declaration, but Remus’ expression is serious. “You know what I mean, though,” you say, lifting a shoulder like this conversation is nothing to you. “I know what guys want. I’m not that.” 
“Bullshit,” Sirius says, and Remus’ lips twitch upward at your boyfriend’s brash tongue. “You’re just gonna lump us in with all guys? Do all girls want the exact same thing too?” You go to protest, but he talks over you, fuming. “Golden boys, tall with blond hair, blue eyes, and an eight-pack of abs, right? Is that what you wish we looked like?”
“Of course not.” You’re tripping over yourself in your denial. “I wouldn’t—I don’t want you to look any other way.” 
“But you can see his point, can’t you?” Remus asks gently. “If we each only liked what we’re told is most attractive, a face full of scars probably wouldn’t be on the top of that list.” You must look as devastated as you feel, because Remus’ lips pull up in a reassuring half-smile, the long scar across his cheek flashing silver with the movement. “Does that matter to you?”
Your voice is quiet; chastened, but ardent. “No. Not at all.” 
“So perhaps you can imagine,” James says, raising his eyebrows at you teasingly, “how if you can look at us and find things to love, we can do the same with you.” You gnaw on your lip, and his brows come slowly back down. 
“Don’t,” Sirius says sternly. “Stop thinking whatever you’re thinking. You’re gorgeous, and we like you like this.” His eyes bore into yours, insistent. “You can’t make our decisions for us about which parts of you we’re allowed to like, understand?” 
James nods, extending his hands to you. “Would you come sit with me, angel? Only if you want to, of course,” he adds at your hesitance, “but please don’t refrain because you’re worried about anything to do with me.” 
You give him an assessing look. “Alright,” you say, perching on his lap. “Just tell me if you want me to get off.” 
“Will do, darling.” James grips the fat of your hips, hauling you onto him so that your feet leave the floor and your full weight is on him. “Not much danger of that, though.” 
“Honestly,” Remus hums, pulling your legs across his lap so that you’re sitting sideways on James, “the day one of us says we want you to look more like a bird, run, sweetheart. Someone’s using polyjuice or something.”
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midnightsnyx · 6 months
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girl at home | mat barzal | part 4
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pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.
warnings: not edited, angst, mentions of alcohol, pregnancy, food word count: 1.3k authors note: sorry it's late & short but i was sick and then had writers block. i hope u guys like it!! if u like it let me know but if you hate it also let me know. also HUGE thanks to @barzysbaby for the help with this chapter!! it probably wouldn't have been finished without your help! if anyone wants to be added or taken off the tag list, let me know! you can shoot me a dm, send an ask or fill out my tag list form.
requests are open 🫶🏻 masterlist masterpost ask box taglist form
After your unexpected heart-to-heart with Mat, you begin to realize that you’re starting to tread on some thin ice with your relationship with him. Letting those feelings you’d tucked away start to come back was a recipe for disaster because you had Nora to think about. If he really wanted to be a part of her life, the two of you couldn’t start a relationship because if it went wrong, it would ruin the opportunity for him to be in her life comfortably. 
However, the problem is how perceptive Nora can be. 
Letting yourself have ‘just one moment’ with Mat last night was a bad idea because you wake up on the couch the next morning, Mat holding you close, and a grumpy six-year-old demanding breakfast. 
“Eggs please,” Nora demands, curious eyes watching you and Mat. When you make no move to get up off the couch and get her breakfast, she stomps a foot and crosses her arms.
“Grandma said I could have eggs for breakfast,” she says and then pauses before adding: “and she said I could have pancakes. Chocolate chip pancakes.”
“You’re not at grandma’s, are you?” you reply, watching her frown. 
“Well then can you bring me to grandma’s?” she replies without missing a beat.
You open your mouth to tell her no, you won’t be bringing her to grandmas with that attitude when Mat interrupts. 
“I’ll make some pancakes,” he mumbles sleepily, sitting up and pulling you with him. You turn to tell him no but your mouth goes dry because you forgot how good he looks in the morning. You’re staring long enough that he notices and a smirk tugs at his mouth but he doesn’t say anything, instead standing up and offering a hand to Nora. 
“Let’s go make mom some pancakes,” he says and she smiles up at him and it’s just so damn domestic that you want to cry.  
You watch them walk over to the kitchen and start preparing the ingredients while you sit there, trying to pull yourself together. He’s falling so seamlessly into being a parent that you can’t decide how to feel. His attentiveness and patience with her could be temporary and then when he realizes how hard being a parent really is, you’ll be left to clean up the mess he leaves behind. On the other hand, he might be serious about the entire thing and everything could work out.
Nora's giggles catch your attention and you look to see Mat cracking an egg on her forehead like the video he had sent you a few days ago, claiming that he would try it on Nora. Almost as if he can sense that you’re watching them, he looks up and catches your eye and grins, tilting his head slightly.
“You wanna help or just sit there all morning?” he teases so you stand up and make your way to the kitchen to stand next to Nora, kissing the forehead when she grins up at you. 
“How can I help?”
. . .
It was inevitable that the hockey world would catch wind that Mathew Barzal had a child. Whether it was his now ex-girlfriend, or just someone from home that spilled the beans, suddenly all the sports sites had articles up about it. They can't legally say Nora’s name or show photos of her because she’s still a minor, but they can definitely dig up old high school pictures and find your instagram.
It wasn’t hard to put the pieces together for people to realize that you were his baby mama. You had to turn your social media accounts private because you were suddenly having people comment on your photos, and sending DM’s. Most of them weren’t the nicest, accusing you of kid-trapping Mat and while you knew that it was useless to be upset over it, it was hard. They didn’t and would never know the details but it bothered you to no end, and unfortunately, you took your frustration out on Mat, who took whatever you threw at him. You said things you regretted the next morning and he would just smile and tell you it was fine. 
But it wasn’t, and everything crashed down about two weeks after the first article was posted. You woke up to your phone buzzing, calls and texts from your mom, Jax, some other friends and even Liana. 
And a single text from Mat that had just two words, and a link attached.  
baby daddy: I'm sorry. instagram.com/matbarzal 
It was a statement, clearly written by a PR Manager from the Islanders organization. The statement basically said that Mathew Barzal did not in fact have a child. It was just a rumor floating around that a disgruntled fan spread. A lot of people called it bullshit, saying that it was PR cleaning up a mess, which technically they were doing. Then, there were the fans and journalists who did believe the statement and tried to take back whatever they may have said that was mean. 
It wasn’t the things other people were saying about it though, it was what Mat wasn’t saying. After the post, he ghosted you for four days, ignoring all the texts and calls even when they were about Nora. Liana and Nadia still asked to see Nora on the weekend that she normally does so you dropped her off Friday evening, noticing that Mat’s car was nowhere to be seen. Nadia and Liana didn’t say anything about the situation, just thanking you for letting Nora stay over for the night and promising to call if anything came up. You didn’t have anything planned so you went back to your apartment, hoping to catch up on some overdue work you’d been letting pile up.
Halfway through writing a draft for a chapter, there’s a knock on your door. You’re once again suspecting it to be Nadia or Liana with Nora but you come face to face with Mat.
Again.
His eyes are trained on the ground, refusing to meet yours. There are a thousand things you want to say, most of them not nice at all but what comes out is: “beer?” 
His head shoots up, clearly not expecting that response from you but he nods his head and walks in when you step to the side. He toes off his shoes and walks straight towards the kitchen. By instinct, he opens the fridge to get himself a drink and then pauses, looking at you sheepishly.
“Beer?”
“Water,” you reply and he nods, passing you a bottle of water. You both sit at the kitchen island, drinking your respectable drinks in silence until he clears his throat.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t know that they were going to write that. Our public relations manager wrote it and just told me to post it. My agent asked her to clean things up a little because it was getting out of hand. I didn’t want to hurt you or Nora, I swear.” 
“It’s too late for that,” you say sharply. “You said you want to be in Nora’s life but she can’t be a secret, Mat! You can’t say you want to try, and then turn around and tell the world that she’s not yours. If you’re not going to be in this one-hundred percent, then you shouldn’t be here at all.” 
He must take your last statement as a dismissal because he stands up, slips his shoes on and leaves, closing the door a little harder than necessary. 
You sit in silence far too long, part of you foolishly hoping that Mat will come back but you know he won’t. Not today at least. So, you go back to working on your draft but you can’t focus. Part of you wants to try and put yourself in his shoes, to try and understand why he didn’t fight harder against what public relations wanted but you can’t. You can’t imagine not being Nora’s mom and you wonder if maybe this is the way out he was hoping for. Maybe he decided that being a parent was fun for a little while, but when he understood the real consequences and struggles that come along with it, he realized he didn’t want it. That he didn’t want Nora.
Maybe this is his out.
tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @teapartydreams @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @topguncultleader @shadowsndaisies @lovinbarzal
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luvrxbunny · 5 months
Note
God I feel so dirty requesting this off anon lmao- may I have some titty worship with the moon boys? Any one of them will do, I don't mind :) I hope this request is ok!!!
a/n: im sorry this took so long bb also idk if this is what u wanted I'm sorry i tried!!
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hershey's kisses
pairing: Steven Grant x f!reader and Marc Spector x f!reader
summary: You stumble upon a wonderful secret
warnings: 18+ MDNI, cum in pants, oral (m receiving), nipple play(?)
wc: 1.4k
a/n: it's called hershey's kisses cus that's what oscar isaacs nipples remind me of also sorry abt the gumdrop thing lmao
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Steven Grant - 0.8k
You have him laid out on the couch, whatever movie that was playing is long forgotten about and he’s whining your name beautifully, a little symphony just for your ears as you suck his sensitive bud into your mouth. “Sto- The movie, baby. We-” His head falls back again as you scrape your teeth over the skin gently. 
You were just playing with the hem of his shirt when this all started, but Steven had to go and be all squirmy about it so of course you ventured further. You trailed your hand up his abs, listening to how his breathing sped up the closer you got to his pecks. He let out the most satisfying moan when you pinched his nipples between your fingers. So obviously you had to up the sensations. You backed him up until he was laying down for you and being the good boy he is, his legs instantly spread to make room for you between them. You shimmied yourself up his body until his chocolate kisses were level with your eager lips. 
His back arched beautifully, pushing his chest further into your lips as he tried to hold his moans in. “Stop it, get-- get off.” You pause for a moment looking up. His fingers are digging into the fabric of the couch as you kiss all over him. Your hand comes up to make sure both nipples are getting enough attention before diverting your gaze to his face. 
His eyes are shut tight but you can tell they’re rolled back behind his lids. His hips are thrusting ever so slightly, gaining ghostlike friction for his rapidly hardening cock. You’re sat between his legs but not close enough for him to grind against you and it's the most annoying thing he’s ever experienced. “Please I can’t--” He cuts himself off with another gasp and his hands come to grip your shoulders, a warning of sorts but he does nothing to pull you away. You bite and suck at his nipple like you’re trying to leave a hickey over it. 
“More--” His voice is broken, every word coming out as a raspy gasp. You stop your assault and look up at him with a deviously innocent smile. “What, baby?” You ask him with the sweetest voice you can conjure. “What do you need?” You watch his adam’s apple bob as he tries to hold in his whines of frustration. 
“I need more.” He sounds like he could cry, so after watching him squirm, you give in. Your hand comes to cup the bulge in his pants and he reacts instantly. A pathetic moan slips from his lips as his hips press themselves into your hand as roughly as he can, shaking and whimpering as he does. 
You admire the sight for a bit before bringing your attention back to his nipples, earning yourself a cut of moan of “Oh! F--” His hips stutter against your palm in their pace. His lips are pursed shut, giving you ragged little hums of what his moans should be and you have to bring your other hand up to grab his jaw, force his mouth open to hear them. They come pouring out of his mouth, more debauched than before, they’re barely moans at this point, more like shouts of pleasure. 
You feel bad for assaulting him like this. He’s probably never had anyone pay this much attention to his nipples before but they're so soft, smooth, perfect in your mouth, and you get the bonus of hearing his angelic sounds above you, so why would you stop? 
You have to pull your mouth away from him within the next minute because one of his hands grabs your wrist that's holding his jaw in a way that's more than a little warning, it's a frantic and desperate grip. You look up instantly, worried that maybe you were gripping him too tightly but when your eyes land on his face you're met with someone you hadn’t even considered. 
His eyes are rolled back, deep into his head, his mouth is open wide, his plush lips trembling as he moans silently and his hips bucking gently into your hand as he fills his pants. His eyebrows pull tauter the longer he’s cumming, it’s knocked all the breath from his lungs and his face is turning a bit red. You’ve been entranced with him since you laid your eyes on his beautiful face but now you’re getting a little worried. 
You lean into his ear and whisper gently, not wanting to startle him. “Breathe, baby” and thankfully that seems to do the trick, all his groans and whines shoot from his mouth as his eyes come forward and shut tightly, he leans into you for comfort and you instantly wrap all your free limbs around him, and your hand still massaging his spent cock as he shakes in your hold. 
Marc Spector - 0.6k
You’ve been on your knees in front of Marc for around fifteen minutes and your knees are starting to hurt. He’s groaning gently above you but it doesn't sound like he's anywhere near close. It sounds like he’s just soaking in the pleasure your mouth is giving him, relishing it, losing himself in it, but the carpet is digging into your skin, and your jaw is getting so sore you're afraid it’ll be stuck open by the time he’s done. So you start roaming your hands around his body, scratching his thighs lightly and feeling them jump. You’re trying to figure out anything you can do to speed up this process.
His sounds get a bit more frequent, a little more breathy as you work your way to his hips, just admiring his body, his smooth, soft skin. Your hands can feel his stomach tensing as you slide up to his chest. His moans have died down a bit, sounding more like they're stuck in his throat as you rub over his body. His hips are beginning to grind further into your mouth, nudging down your throat as you reach his pecs. 
His mouth finally opens again and a gasp flies out as your fingers pinch down on his nipples gently. You meant it as a playful little gesture, something he does when he's going down on you but the gasp is telling as to how he feels about the action. 
Your thumbs press into his nipples a little roughly to get his hips to buck again. “S- Baby--!” You can hear him struggling above you, choking on air and your eyes open to see his hands clutching the bedsheets like his life depends on it. His cock is twitching more frantically in your mouth the longer you tease his gumdrops. 
Marc is losing his mind above you. He’s never ventured over his body like this, whenever he’s getting himself off, all he needs is the thought of you, he doesn’t need all this. But of course, you’d be the one to give it to him. His eyes are shut as tightly as he can, his fingers digging into the mattress as he tries not to melt into your mouth. All his thoughts are clouding, he can’t think about anything aside from how perfectly you're touching him. How when you saw the stress in his face, you instantly got on your knees to make him feel better. Fuck. 
He wants to last and relish in the romance of how you’ll serve him but you know him too well. You haven’t stopped assaulting his nipples since you found them. He can feel you please hums over his cock and heat is pooling at the base of his stomach, sliding down and warming his balls as he feels your lips pull into a small smirk. 
He can’t help the broken whimper that falls from his lips and his entire body seizes as his dick explodes down your throat. His entire body flashes with heat and all he can see is white. He feels all the hairs on his body stand, alert to every sensation you're giving him. He can hear your moans over his cock, he can imagine that beautiful look of bliss you always have when his balls feed you like this. When he floods your mouth for so long you have no choice but to drink it all, he can feel himself shaking in your grasp, your thumbs still dutifully circling his chest in a way that has him arching into you embarrassingly, trying to prolong the immense pleasure you elicit.
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thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist or send me some motivation here!!
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antoncyng · 10 days
Text
౨ৎ. not the same. — c.yj
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synopsis - waking up a week after you and yeonjun’s breakup, only to remember it was supposed to be your anniversary today.
warnings - angst with no happy ending ;(, yeonjun cheated, gn!reader, mentions of alcohol and being drunk, cursing, not proofread | wc : ??
notes - do not read if u get sad easily…
head pounding headache, heavy heart and chest, blurry eyes and a dried face was all you could feel right now. ever since you and yeonjun broke up only a week ago, your routine has been much different.
no motivation to go out, the feeling of your phone vibrating with notifications from your friends trying to get you to go out, occasionally some from yeonjun still attempting to apologize for his actions.
LAST WEEK
it was your bestfriend, yuna’s birthday party. she was a huge party person, so it was basically a whole frat/house party just celebrating her birthday. a dj blasting music, self serve bar with lots of alcohol, and food.
you came with yeonjun, but were soon separated after he told you he would just get another drink and maybe say hi to some friends who he passed by while walking with you. you trusted yeonjun with your whole heart, of course, how couldn’t you after dating for almost 2 years?
the minute yeonjun left you alone with your friends, something in your gut was telling you something bad would happen, but you couldn’t get yourself to believe it.
that was until about 10 minutes later, you told your group of girls you would be back to find yeonjun, leaving to the kitchen and searching for him everywhere, even asking his friends you never talked to. you soon spotted a familiar head in the corner of the dining room, that was also filled with many people.
you didn’t want to believe it, you wanted to rub your eyes and make the sight you were seeing blur away, you wanted to cover your ears from the music and shut your eyes just to tell yourself it wasn’t true, but it was. you stood there for a good 3 minutes, tears well falling out of your eyes and down your face already, your shaky hand making its way to cover your mouth that was wide open.
“y-yeonjun..?” you called out as loud as you could, watching the boy turn around after separating his lips from the girl he was cornering, face turning red as soon as he saw your crying figure, you could tell he was horribly drunk but definitely sobered up in some way from the sight of you. “what are you.. doing..?” was the last thing you could murmur out before breaking into tears and turning around, pushing past people to make your way to the front door.
you heard yeonjun shouting your name and telling you to stop and turn around, his voice desperate and almost sweetly convincing. but it was shut out by your mind, your eyes were blurry as tears flowed down your face, everything that entered your ears sounded drowned out, all you could think of was how you needed to get home and just rot in bed.
“y/n, please talk to me! it’s not what it looked like!” he finally said as he got to you, holding your wrist to get you to turn around and face him. after yanking your wrist from his hand, you could see the visible hurt on his face, forcing everything in you to stop yourself from pulling him into your embrace and apologize for “overreacting”.
“don’t start with that bullshit yeonjun! what do you mean its not what it looks like? you wanna sit here and lie to my fucking face and say you weren’t full on making out with that girl? who knows what would even happen if i didn’t catch you, you probably would’ve took her upstairs and fucked her for all i know!” you shouted at him, watching the waterline of his eyes fill with tears of guilt, knowing he messed up bad. you knew yeonjun, and the look he had on his face looked like he just wanted to crouch down and rip all his hair out from guilt, all you could think of is hugging him tightly as if he just had a bad day, but you knew you had to end it here. “you know yeonjun, if you wanna do this shit at parties like you did before we met, you can now. we’re done.” you stated, trying to sound as stern as you could, only to break down after taking a few steps away from the boy.
after walking away, you heard yeonjun break down into tears and sob while watching you walk away, but you knee you had to fight yourself from running back to him and taking him in your arms.
AND HERE WE ARE NOW …
you finally decided to pick up your phone, looking at the time and date, tears welling up once again after seeing it was you and yeonjun’s second anniversary, but it broke you knowing you weren’t together anymore to spend this special day.
unlocking yourself and checking your notifications just broke you more, seeing the messages yeonjun left you after the break up.
my jun ♡
APR 7TH . 8:39 PM
my jun ♡ : hey yn, can we please talk?
my jun ♡ : i know i fucked up
my jun ♡ : just please let me know you’re okay
APR 9TH . 11:46 AM
my jun ♡ : i know you probably don’t wanna see my messages
my jun ♡ : but i can’t stop thinking about you
my jun ♡ : it’s not the same waking up without you
my jun ♡ : i hope you know you’ll always be the one i love with my whole heart
my jun ♡ : i’m so sorry y/n
APR 9TH . 5:34 PM
my jun ♡ : hi y/n, i hope you’ve eaten today
my jun ♡ : i know you have a hard time eating after your classes
my jun ♡ : i’m sorry i can’t be that reminder for you anymore
APR 10TH . 4:26 AM
my jun ♡ : i miss you so much
my jun ♡ : i would do anything to go back and never leave your side at that party again
my jun ♡ : i would do anything to have another chance
my jun ♡ : fuck i’m probably bothering your sleep
my jun ♡ : i’m sorry, i’ll always be sorry. sleep well y/n, 🤍
APR 11TH . 6:38 PM
my jun ♡ : you haven’t been active on any of your social medias
my jun ♡ : are you okay?
my jun ♡ : well i know you aren’t okay
my jun ♡ : i didn’t mean it like that i know you could be okay of course
my jun ♡ : fuck i’m sorry
APR 12TH . 2:17 PM
my jun ♡ : hi y/n
my jun ♡ : i feel a little stalkerish continuing to text you even when you don’t reply, kinda funny isn’t it?
my jun ♡ : what am i kidding, nothings funny to me anymore
my jun ♡ : i can’t even bring myself to talk to anyone anymore
my jun ♡ : i hope you’re doing okay, and not crying anymore
my jun ♡ : you know i hate seeing you cry
my jun ♡ : even tho you look gorgeous when you cry
my jun ♡ : i love you y/n
APR 13TH . 1:07 AM
my jun ♡ : i hope you remember what day it is
my jun ♡ : because i sure do
my jun ♡ : here i am, sitting in my bed alone
my jun ♡ : our song playing on repeat
my jun ♡ : i would do everything and anything just for you to forgive me
my jun ♡ : even just a hug would get me to smile again
my jun ♡ : happy anniversary, i love you forever y/n, even if it’s not the same anymore.
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authors note - thank you for reading! i’ve always been bad with angst so this might be total booty cheeks but.. oh well its worth a shot ^-^
PLEASE DO NOT STEAL NOR REPOST !
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strgrlxox · 1 year
Text
✧.➷ & burn.
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☆ || SUMMARY :: ellie taking her frustration out on u
☆ || CONTAINS :: mean dom!ellie. reader gets called a slut like once. oral (r!reciving). fingering (r!reciving). edging.
☆ || WORD COUNT :: 783 !
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there was a certain point within your girl's anger where all she wanted was a source of distraction, something new to focus on. you, always her angel, were there to greedily gladly provide aid.
“stop fucking squirming.” her teeth were skating across your clit, hands gripping so tightly on your waist there was no way it wouldn’t leave a mark. 
you fucking loved it when she got like this. 
she knew your body so well, always able to put you at her mercy with a few words or light touches. she was always so good to you when you needed her…you were glad to do the same for her.
ellie laid you done as soon as she got home, telling you something along the lines of  “stop fucking talking.” before she kissed you like she wanted to take all the air that was in your lungs.
she’d make it up to you later. probably put herself on her knees to worship you like you deserved.
but for now, she needed this to be the opposite of that. ellie wasn’t focused on making you feel good like she normally did, she was trying to relieve herself from the pressure of the intense day she had.
you can’t help but thrash in her hold, your body unable to relax when she begins to gently bite down. “what the fuck did i just tell you?” she growled, her eyes meeting yours. you couldn’t stop the sewage of apologies that left your mouth.
she smirked into your skin, detaching her mouth from your core for the third time. the distressed cry you let out was so pretty it almost made her feel bad. almost.
 ellie smirked as she let her eyes trail across your body that was coated in dark purple marks that she’d kiss later when she apologized for being so rough with you. you’d dismiss her, how you loved being her little work of art. 
“please, just wanna come.” your words are barely tangible.
she gripped your jaw and you mewl, not from pain but more so from shock. even when she’s fucking pissed and can only think about how small she wants to make you feel, she’d never actually hurt you. ellie could never even dream of it. “you’ll come if and only if i decide you will. you take what i give you.”
your back arches when she lets two fingers slip past your entrance. 
“what am i gonna do with you?” her voice was so lustful it almost made your mouth water. “you like it when i treat you like a little slut, don’t you?”
you do, you really fucking do. you nod, biting your lip as you fight the urge to buck your hips into her fingers, desperate to feel her deeper. fuck her and her perfect fucking fingers.
“say it.”
“yeah, i like it.” your eyes bubble with tears cause she’s been edging you for an hour…bringing you to the edge only to pull away before you coming.
“hmm.” she kisses your cheek, the sweet gesture making your head spin in contrast to how mean she was being seconds ago. “so pretty when you cry.”
it was embarrassing how much her humiliation turns you on. her words, her mocking tone, the fact that you were naked while she was completely clothed. she looked up at you so casually, like what she was doing wasn’t so goddamn filthy.
you clench when her fingers curl, you’re so fucking close. you’d probably be embarrassed if you weren’t so fucking pent up. 
then she pulls her fingers out of you. you keep your legs closed.
“open your legs.” it’s gruff and demanding, you know better than to tease her but knowing why she’s doing this makes it impossible not too.
“ask me nicely.” you keep your knees buckled together, smiling up at her like you knew all her secrets or something.
“open your fucking legs.” her hands reach up to your knees and yank them apart. you gasp when the cold air hits your pussy, wondering why you flirt with dominance when you know you’ll give into submission everytime.
“‘m sorry, just can’t take anymore.” you pout up at her.
“who the fuck do think you are?” she scoffs and you almost flinch at how harsh her tone is. “you don’t like what i give you?”
“no, no, ‘m sorry. i love it, ‘m sorry.” you rush, apologies flowing from your lips like it was the only language you could speak. she hums like she’s in thought but you can look in her eyes and tell her mind is made up.
her mouth levels with your core again, “so lie there and take it.”
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urfavlarry · 17 days
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HEYY, AIDEN x READER AT THE RINK ANON HERE!! LOVED THE WAY U WROTE THE ONESHOT!
i was waiting for your requests to open up again :D (im obsessed with aiden so bear w/ me, i'll be requesting ALOT abt him) wanted to ask if u could write a oneshot about tyler,aiden x f!reader as a love triangle! something along the lines of; how the atmosphere is around the group when those two keep on pissing each other off. Aiden being aiden and just pulling on tylers strings even though reader hasn't chosen which one she likes most!
(if its okay w u, every time i request something i'll just put 🤍Anon!)
Tyler & Aiden x fem!reader
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╰┈➤ ⋆。‧˚ʚ 🎸🥀 ɞ˚‧。⋆
The more confident one here would probably be Aiden
Like ofc Tyler isn’t insecure or anything but he definitely isn’t that confident when flirting with you
Aiden would get more touchy and pushy (well if that’s even possible)
Tyler would be more calm around you and would be very overprotective over you and would protect you, just like his sister with his life
The two would bicker so much more
You turn the corner, there’s a fighting Aiden and Tyler there
Aiden would be more smug then angry when arguing with Tyler
On the other hand.. Tyler would get pissed
We all know he gets pissed easily but they wouldn’t full on fist fight probably to not raise suspicion within the others in the group
When you are alone with Tyler he would probably be more ‘flirty’
He would have his hand on your waist or hug you
You wouldn’t think anything of it because you think he’s just being friendly (reader is kinda oblivious like always, typical Y/N)
When you three would be near each other the atmosphere would be so fucking tense
Ashlyn fight her inner demons to not say “get a room the sexual tension radiating off of you is making me sick”
Some would question the weird atmosphere but the two would deny anything and everything
After a while they would probably make you choose or one of them would just make a move
If you had a crush on Aiden:
Tyler would be crushed
He would cry probably but not a full on breakdown
He would get pissy towards you and Aiden (more to Aiden)
Deep down he would still like you but after some time he moves on
Things would definitely be awkward for a while tho
On the other hand Aiden would be the happiest man alive
He would rub it in but he wouldn’t go THAT far to the point he would make Tyler feel bad
Probably just sticking his tongue out when you’re not looking or when he kisses you he would do that thing where you have your eyes closed while he is eyeing Tyler
Aiden would yap your ear off and tell you what has been going on between him and Tyler
You would just laugh it off, feeling a bit bad for Tyler but you’re happy you got together with your crush :3
If you had a crush on Tyler:
Oh he would act like he doesn’t care but deep down he wants to rub it in so bad but doesn’t want to be immature
Would probably just smirk at Aiden when you’re not looking
Aiden would still be his cheerful self but he would be crushed as well
Poor boy probably cried the whole night
Ben would glare a bit at you two like how dare you make his cousin cry
But after a while he forgets about it and moves on, going back to his usual very happy self who yaps everyones ears off
Tyler would definitely not tell you what has been happening
Like girl nuh uh that shit seems too embarrassing to be talked about anywhere near you
Would never admit he was jealous, like never
But you can tell because he looks like an angry puppy :D
After a while the atmosphere in the group would go back to normal, just some romance popping in lmao
If you don’t like them back:
the awkwardness in the group would fr go 📈
probably would plan to fight the person you like
after some time they would ofc get over it but this would take then so much longer to get over
everyone in the group is like “wtf is going on”
if you start dating that person and stat to drift away from the group they would be really sad tho
if the guy mistreats you then they will beat him up they wouldn’t even care of they get in trouble
overall your interactions would be brief and awkward
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i2ycat · 16 days
Text
playing4u
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pairing non-idol!heeseung x fem!reader synopsis college boy heeseung that dedicates his songs to u, plays the guitar for u and never fails to sing u to sleep whenever u want genre college au, established relationship in the second half, fluff warnings not proofread, down bad heeseung… main masterlist
reblogs and comments are very much appreciated!
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before u guys started dating
one thing about u and heeseung is that u both LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE music
picture this; u guys are at a music festival, probably something like head in the clouds
u’re singing ur heart out to niki’s set list (as u should) and heeseung, who was just beside u, happened to turn his head at ur direction
and GOD. FUCKING. DAMN.
boy was absolutely starstruck the moment he laid eyes on u, despite the scorching heat that rendered u a sweaty mess
he felt like he was in a movie
and he swore he felt his heart thumping faster and faster, which definitely wasn’t because of the bass or the crowd around him
he was too scared to ask for ur number right there and then, because honestly he’s highkey lowkey a loser…
he doesn’t have the rizz people think he has!
by the end of the night, he left the venue feeling defeated. the post-concert blues weren’t even hitting the way it should because all he could think about was u
in the next following days, he’s probably written songs about how he saw the prettiest girl but she got away, posting them on his private, for only his friends to see
“WHO IS THE GIRL.” jungwon drills heeseung for answers during a group game night at their dorm, which piques the interest of everyone else because when has heeseung ever shown this much interest in a girl, to the point where he would write literal SONGS FOR SAID GIRL??
heeseung describes the girl in perfect detail, from the colour of your hair to the tattoo u had on ur arm
“hey… isn’t he just describing y/n?” niki asks, trying to connect the dots with heeseung’s description of u and his own memory
“didn’t she post a story about head in the clouds a few days ago as well?? i swear i saw it.” sunoo adds as he pulls out his phone, “wait let me find her instagram,” and by this time heeseung could already feel the familiar rhythm of his heart thumping to the same beat it did on the day of the festival
“is this her?”
heeseung couldn’t believe his eyes. after all this time (it’s only been a week please), he finally was able to put a name to his mystery girl!
when i tell this man LEAPED when he found out that u both had mutual friends all this time… yea he was already down BAD.
more under cut!
after u guys started dating
it only took a month or two of talking for u to fall head over heels for heeseung
i mean how could u not when he’s so beyond perfect???
he’s never failed to pick u up from ur classes whenever he could, give u a shoulder to cry on when u were stressed about ur finals, and plan the majority of ur dates without u ever lifting a finger— u were his princess and he made very sure that u and everyone else knew it
because of ur joint interests in music, u guys would always send each other music that u’re currently listening to
“flo milli?”
“what? sometimes guys want to feel like a bad bitch too.”
other than sharing music, heeseung would 100% sing u to sleep whenever u ask for it… actually, atp u don’t even need to ask for it anymore because he already knows
u guys would be on the bed, and as his hands snakes around u to caress ur head lovingly, hee would start humming a soft tune
the vibrations of it lulling u closer to sleep
and when u actually fall asleep, he would kiss ur head goodnight and flick the bed lights off, tucking himself closer to u :((
before u guys even started dating, heeseung was already writing songs about u, so after dating, the amount of songs dedicated to and for u would only increase tenfold
he’d record them just for ur ears to hear
and when he’s letting u hear the songs he’s made, he always has this lovestruck smile on his face, eyes totally glossed over and heart in his hand for you take…
u’ve become his ultimate muse, his inspiration in all aspects of his life
u could tell just how much he loves you from the songs he makes— the melody, the emotions he sings with, the lyrics… all of it just screams that he’s totally head over heels for u
he would even let u have ur moment in his songs, either singing or just talking in the background… because he always wants to incorporate u into his art
when heeseung does decide to post the music he makes, he always makes sure to use ur photos as the cover because almost every song is about u and for u 😭 man physically cannot shut up about u
he’s talked all of his friends ears off ab how u cute u looked in his hoodie, how u pretty u were yesterday, and the day before that and probably tomorrow as well
there would be a point in time when u randomly mentioned that u found guys who play the guitar attractive and u know what heeseung did that day? applied for a guitar class, only to showcase what he’s learnt so far a few weeks later
“hee, i didn’t even know u played the guitar?”
“well i just started learning, like, 3 weeks ago.”
“and you’re already this good?”
“what can i say? i’m a determined man.”
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© i2ycat 2024
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percyluvr · 2 months
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hiii !! could you please do percy x apollo reader where she's like this super sunny girl and everyone thought that her and her ex were perfect together but her ex ends up breaking up with her after losing interest. and maybe the breakup kind of splits everyone into sides because it was healthy but also heartbreaking (and percy, without even knowing, is somehow is her #1 advocate to everyone even if they don't know each other / barely ever talked before) and everyone watches as she slowly loses her spark and stops showing up for things, stays in bed all day, stuff like that and percy suddenly feels her absence and has enough of it and helps her pick up the pieces of her heart. he doesn't really pressure her to date or anything he just tries to be there for her by brightening her mood and teasing her and stuff and eventually he helps her move on from her ex. and like maybe a couple months pass of them being friends but also lowkey more than that and she confesses to him after annabeth or her friend makes her realize that she actually like LIKES percy when she loses it in a mad or a sad way at the sight of him with another girl (and she usually has her emotions in control) but yeah thats basically it !! thank u for reading this :)) hope ur having a good dayy
percy jackson x daughter of apollo!reader summary: your boyfriend breaks up with you and percy becomes your #1 defender, falling in love with you in the process wc: 4286
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You, along with pretty much everyone else at camp, thought that your relationship was perfect. Being with your boyfriend was like a fairytale to you, but apparently it wasn't for him.
"Hey, so um, thanks for meeting me. I hope this isn't too random, but I just don't think our relationship is working anymore, and I think you feel it too," he says, looking into your eyes. If you weren't so in love with him, you probably would've smacked the crap out of him for this. You'd never been happier in your relationship, and he thought it wasn't working? You weren't quite sure if you were mad or sad in this moment.
"Oh. If that's what you think, then I agree," you reply, sadly smiling at him, trying to pretend that your heart wasn't breaking into a million little pieces.
"Alright, I still really like you and I hope we can be friends still," he says, and you know that he's saying it without malicious intent because he really is a good guy, which makes you even more frustrated.
"Sure, of course we can."
He gives you a hug and tells you to have a good day.
How are you supposed to have a good day when you just got dumped by the love of your life? You genuinely wished you could be mad at him, but he was just such a genuine and nice guy that you couldn't. You know that he only said it out of the good of his heart and because he didn't want the relationship to actually go downhill, but you were still frustrated and sad.
As if your day wasn't bad enough already, news of your breakup had already spread throughout camp, and everyone was looking at you with sympathetic looks. You had hoped to the gods that you could go at least a day before this happened, but of course not.
You got your food and sat down at your table, your siblings immediately crowding around you and asking you questions and trying to comfort you. You could hear people at the other tables talking about the breakup, and from what you could hear, people were taking "sides" in your breakup, even when they thought it was mutual.
"Hey, I heard about what happened. I'm so sorry, but we're all here for you, okay?" You hear one of your sisters say, but it doesn't really register. At this point, you feel numb, and you aren't really hearing anything people are saying anymore.
Later that day, you're sitting by the river, small sniffles being all you can manage to muster up after crying your heart out for the last 45 minutes. You're looking out at the water, thinking about what went wrong, when you hear footsteps approaching.
"Are you okay?" You hear an unfamiliar voice ask.
You don't even bother looking up. It's probably just another person here to tell you how they're on your side.
"No, but it's fine," you reply.
The person sits down next to you, and you finally look over, finding Percy Jackson sitting to your right.
He looks back at you, "hey, I'm Percy. Sorry if I'm interrupting, but I was just coming over to swim and I heard you crying."
"No, it's fine. I don't own the beach," you weakly laugh. "My boyfriend broke up with me today, if you're wondering why I'm crying."
"Yeah, I heard about that. I'm really sorry that happened to you, you seem really sweet."
"Thanks, but it's okay. He wasn't rude about it or anything, just said that he didn't think our relationship was working and that he hoped he could still be friends," you muttered.
He makes a sympathetic sound then says, "that's almost worse. I'd hate to be on the receiving end of that, especially if the person is genuine."
"Yeah, it really broke my heart. He was so genuine about it, and that's what really hurt. He still cares about me but he just doesn't love me anymore," your voice cracks in the middle of your sentence, and you look back at the water.
"Jeez, that seriously sucks. But hey, I'm sure it's not you that was the problem, maybe what he wanted in a relationship just changed?" It sounded like he was going to say more, but you made a sob-like sound and he immediately shut his mouth.
"I'm sorry, I'm really not good at this," he says awkwardly after a moment of silence.
"It's okay. If it helps, I do feel a bit better at least. You're not as bad as you think you are," you look over at him and he's already looking at you.
The two of you talk a bit more, before you excuse yourself to your cabin, not telling him why, but he suspected that you were going to cry more, and it made him sad to see you like this.
The two of you weren't friends, you were barely even acquaintances, but Percy now felt responsible for defending you. Every time he overheard a conversation where people were taking your ex-boyfriend's side, he would walk over there and set them straight, telling them how great you were and how the breakup wasn't your fault at all, and he should've been grateful to have you, even though the breakup wasn't messy at all.
People started to joke that he was the leader of your fan club, which secretly made him feel all weird inside. At the time he didn't know what he was feeling, but when he looked back at it, he knew that this was when he started to fall in love with you.
If, even a month ago, someone would've told Percy that the girl he'd always had a tiny crush on would've been single, and he was now openly defending you like his life depended on it, he would've first told them there's no way you did anything wrong, so what was he even defending you from? And second, he absolutely does not have a crush on you. Lastly, he would ask if you were really single, but not that he was asking for himself, he was definitely asking for a friend.
"Dude, you need to calm down defending her. She's not gonna let you hit just because you're taking her side," some camper makes the mistake of saying to his face.
"What the hell is your problem? Not everyone is trying to get a girl to 'let him hit.' Some of us are just decent human beings defending our friends," Percy says, before promptly soaking the guy in water and walking away.
This incident was just one of many where a camper makes the mistake of talking bad about you. At this point, he was one of the two people at camp that didn't know he was falling for you. You were the other, obviously, because how could you know someone else was in love with you when you were busy wallowing in your sorrows in your cabin?
About a week after you were broken up with, you began to distance yourself from all of the activities at camp, including the ones that once brought you so much joy. You'd never thought of yourself to be someone that would drown in their own sorrows, but then again, you'd never really experienced anything that would've proved yourself otherwise.
So, here you were, cuddled up in bed under about 5 blankets, mascara stains under your eyes, a box of tissues next to you, and another romcom on the TV, when you could've been outside doing archery or in the infirmary gossiping with your siblings like you would've done before the breakup. Your heart was aching so badly that you could barely even wake up in the morning. After your talk with Percy, you thought that it was easing up, even though that was only hours after the breakup actually happened, but you couldn't have been more wrong.
After a few days of this behavior from you, Percy was sick of it. He was sick of not being able to see you, and he was sick of you being sad. He went to the Stoll brothers and asked them to smuggle some ice cream in for him, as well as a stuffed animal and paid them extra to do it as fast as they could.
Every few hours, your siblings and friends would come into the cabin and check up on you, sometimes staying to watch a movie or two with you before leaving again and telling you to come get them if you needed anything. You heard the door to the cabin open again. Thinking it was just another one of your siblings, you ignored it and continued watching your movie. What you didn't expect was for Percy Jackson to be standing in front of you mere seconds later.
"Hey, I'm sorry it took me so long to stop by. I brought some ice cream, I don't know if it'll help or if you even like this flavor, but I thought it might help," he says, an awkward smile on his face, awaiting a response.
"Oh, well, thank you," you say, wiping your face, now slightly embarrassed about the mascara that was staining it.
"Hey, don't worry about the mascara, I get it. Well, I don't get it get it, but y'know what I mean, right?"
You let out a small laugh. "Yes, Percy, I get what you mean."
"Oh! I also brought this teddy-bear. It's the sunshine care bear, 'cause you're an Apollo kid," he smiles.
"Aww, thank you so much, Percy. It means a lot to me. Do you want to stay and watch movies with me?" You ask, desperately hoping he'll say yes.
"Yeah, yeah, sure. I'd love to," he replies.
You scoot over in the bed, patting the spot next to you, signaling Percy to sit down, and he obliges.
"So, what are we watching?" He asks.
"Well, I'm starting to run out of romcoms, so I've started to rewatch some. We're about to watch 10 Things I Hate About You," you say with a smile.
"What's it about?"
You explain the plot, and he listens with genuine interest.
This situation happens a few more times, before he finally asks you if you're ready to come back to camp activities. He doesn't add that he misses you when he's out there, but he desperately wants to. He refrains from any flirting because he doesn't want to pressure you, but it kills him to not be able to tell you how much he already likes you, even after just a few days of hanging out with you.
You tell him yes, and you'll be back to doing your activities tomorrow, to which he's overjoyed. He's never been happier in his life, and the two of you aren't even dating. Even when you are ready to date, if you still don't like him, he realizes that he would be happy just to be your friend.
When you're back to your regular responsibilities at camp, you realize just how much you've missed it. It takes a bit before you get back into the ropes of archery, but one wouldn't say you were bad. As an Apollo kid, you could never really be bad at archery, which you appreciated. Once you'd gotten the hang of it again, you realized how much you missed it. Archery had always been relaxing to you, not just because you were a daughter of Apollo. Even before you'd come to camp, your mother had you in archery lessons, and you'd enjoyed it even then. You were fully concentrating until you heard a familiar voice calling to you.
"Hey, I'm glad you're back out here. It's so good to have you back," Percy says, pulling you into a hug, the very first hug the two of you had ever shared. It was surprising at first, but you quickly melted into it.
"Yeah, I'm so glad to be back out here. I missed it so much. I owe you so much for getting me out of that bed, I was miserable."
He blushes. "Nah, it's fine. I knew you would feel better being out here, you love it too much to stay holed up in there, even if those romcoms were good," he jokes.
"Right? I knew you liked them," you say with a smile. "But yeah, you're right. I love being out here with everyone, and I love archery too much to give it up to cry over a boy."
He solemnly nods. "Yeah, I just can't tell you enough how good it is to see you out here. You look so much better, y'know? Your skin is like, glowing again."
You smile. "Thank you," you're about to say more when you hear a voice, specifically a voice belonging to the last person you wanted to see right now.
"Hey! It's good to see you out here," your ex-boyfriend says casually, as if he didn't rip your heart in two and cause you to become a hermit for 2 weeks straight. Percy gives him the nastiest look you've ever seen in your life, and try your best to contain your laughter, but you end up letting out a weird choked sound which earns you a smile from Percy and a weird look from your ex-boyfriend.
"Sorry, swallowed wrong," you say to him.
"Oh, alright?" He says confusedly, before trying to give you a hug, to which you not-so-accidentally swerve. He raises his eyebrow and you shrug.
"Uh, anyways. Yeah, good to see you too," you say before walking away with Percy, leaving your ex-boyfriend standing there confused. You didn't mean to be so rude, but you really couldn't stand being in the same vicinity as him right now.
The next day, you're in the infirmary, gossiping and laughing with one of your sisters, when Percy walks in, clutching his arm. You immediately get up, speed-walking over to where Percy is now standing.
"Hey, what happened?" You asked him, ushering him over to one of the beds.
"Was just doing some practice sword-fighting with your ex-boyfriend and he stabbed me right in the arm. I would've just gone to the ocean and healed it with the water, but I wasn't sure if it would heal this," he says before moving his hand from the deep gash on his bicep.
"Oh sweet Apollo, that was not an accidental stab. Sit here, put your hand back over it, I'll be back in a second," you say before rushing off to collect some supplies.
When you come back, you see Percy sitting with his eyebrows furrowed, muttering some unsavory things under his breath.
"Here, give me your arm," you request, to which he obliges.
You gently wrap his arm with gauze, noticing how intimate your position was and feeling awkward. You didn't want to mention it, not knowing if Percy felt the tension too. You tried to finish up as quickly as possible, hoping the awkward atmosphere would vanish. Unfortunately, it did not. When you finished, you noticed that Percy was staring at you with a weird look in his eyes.
"Um, I'm done, if it still hurts, I can get you some painkillers," you say, scratching the back of your head awkwardly.
Apparently, this breaks him out of his strange trance, and he nods.
"Yeah, uh, painkillers would be good," he replies, still in a slightly dazed state.
You rush out of the room as quick as you can, trying to avoid his gaze. When you were browsing the painkillers trying to find the best for his situation, you kept replaying the scene in your mind. You were trying not to be delusional, but you swore that when you caught Percy staring at you, he started to blush. You pushed it out of your thoughts and brought the medicine to him.
"Take two to four of these every six hours, and the pain should be gone in about two to three days," you said, handing him the container.
He nodded. "Okay, thank you. Maybe you can prescribe some pills to calm your ex down or something," he joked.
You laughed softly. "I wish we had any that would help. Just try to stay away from him. The breakup was his idea so I really don't get what his problem is," you say.
Percy shrugs, and the conversation ends.
Over the next few weeks, you see Percy in the infirmary more than you've seen him there in the past 4 years combined, which is odd, but you don't really think much of it. The injuries are all very small, and he could definitely heal most, if not all with water, but you don't comment on this, as you've really been enjoying having Percy's company during the day.
A few months pass on, and it's another slow day at the infirmary. You're talking with your sister and drinking lemonade, when something outside catches her attention.
"Hey, do you mind if I leave for today? I saw my man walk past just now. I'm thinking today is the day I confess!" Your sister tells you.
"Yeah, sure. I doubt anyone else will come in today anyway. Go get him, girl!" You encourage.
She basically runs out of the infirmary, making you laugh.
A few minutes later, Percy is back. You weren't expecting him back today, as he'd already been here this morning, but he was always welcome.
"Hey, Percy. What happened now?" You ask.
"Oh, I'm fine. A bunch of other people are going to the beach later, and I was just wondering if you were going to be there," he says shyly.
"Hm, I guess it really wouldn't hurt. When did they say they'd be there?"
"Uh, they said they were planning to go in around 30 minutes, I think," he replies.
"I mean, there's no one else scheduled to be at the infirmary today, but it's pretty slow today, so I guess it'd be fine," you conclude.
"Alright, awesome, cool. I'll see you there then," he said before rushing out. You looked out the window and the sight of him jumping up and down and cheering made you laugh harder than you'd laughed in a long time. He looked back through the window and saw you already looking at him. He gave you a pained look and ran off.
"Wow, I sure choose normal people to be friends with," you mutter to yourself before writing a note and putting it on the infirmary door saying that it'd be empty for the rest of the day. You went to your cabin and began changing into your swimsuit. You put a pair of jean shorts and a yellow tank top on over your swimsuit and grabbed a towel.
You talked to your siblings that were in the cabin for a bit before heading down to the beach. You spotted Percy sitting on his towel, looking at everyone else that was swimming. You put your towel down next to his and sat down.
"Hey waterboy, whatcha lookin' at?" You asked.
"Nothing really, was just waiting for you so we can swim," he says, smiling over at you.
"Alright, let's go then," you say, taking off your shorts and tank top as Percy watches, not noticing how intensely he was staring until you cleared your throat.
"Are you going to just sit there and stare at me, or are you gonna come with me to the water?" You teased, causing him to blush a deep red.
He immediately takes off his shirt, revealing his toned abdomen, which you should've expected, he was a swimmer after all. You were in awe, but he spoke up, "now look who's staring."
He grins at you before grabbing your hand and running to the water. Your shorter legs had a hard time keeping up with him, but you somehow managed.
The two of you splashed and swam until the water began to get cold. You both raced back to the towels, bundling up and sitting on the beach.
"Hey, we're going to have a bonfire, if you guys want to come," Connor Stoll says to you and Percy.
"Yeah, sounds cool," Percy replies for the both of you.
"Alright man, awesome. We're going now, so."
You and Percy grab your stuff and follow Connor to the campfire.
As the sun sets, you're all chatting and roasting marshmallows.
"Hey, Perce. Thanks for inviting me, and thank you for helping me get over my break up. We weren't even really friends before and you still helped me. I don't know what I would've done without you," you confess.
"Yeah, yeah. It's no problem. I mean, you're really sweet, and I'm glad to call you my friend now, too."
You smile, and spend the rest of the night quietly talking to Percy, which catches Annabeth's eye.
The next day, you hear a knock on your cabin door. You open the door to probably the last person you would expect to be there, Annabeth Chase.
"Hey, what's up? Who're you here for?" You ask.
"You," she says, causing your eyebrow to raise.
"It's nothing bad, at least, not for me."
"Uh, okay," you say, stepping out of your cabin and closing the door behind you.
Annabeth sits down on the steps, and you follow.
"So, I noticed you and Percy last night at the bonfire," she says with a small smirk on her face.
She must've seen the confused look that flashed across your face, because she laughs. "You two were all over each other, I swear. You two are so in love it makes me sick. There's no way neither of you have noticed this. I'm not even going to bother bringing it up to Percy because he has seaweed for brains, I swear. But you're smart, so I'm saying this to you. You two like each other, and it's physically paining everyone else at camp to see you two pining over each other like idiots. Please, for the love of the Gods, tell him how you feel, because I guarantee he feels exactly the same. That's all."
If there was any time to take a bow, it would've been after that speech, you think.
"Well, after that I guess I have no other choice," you joke.
This seems to satisfy her, because she gets up and pats you on the shoulder before walking away and wishing you luck.
Later that day, you decide that you're going to tell Percy how you feel, consequences be damned. I mean, if Annabeth Chase is telling you to do something, you better do it.
That night, you're standing in front of the Poseidon Cabin, mustering up all your courage to go inside and confess your feelings to Percy. You open the door, and all your confidence that you had conjured up fizzles right out when you see Percy sat on the floor talking to some girl that you didn't know the name of. His eyes catch yours, and you feel the tears forming. You turn around and run out as fast as you can, not caring how crazy you look running through the camp and crying. When you finally reach the beach, you sit down. You didn't expect Percy to follow you, so when you heard footsteps and heavy breathing, you jump up and scream.
"Hey, woah, you're very fast," Percy says in between heavy breaths.
"What do you want?" You ask, tearing streaming down your face.
"Wait, what's wrong?" He asks, clueless.
The question only makes you cry harder.
"Hey, c'mon, don't leave me in the dark, we're friends, right?"
"Yeah, and I guess that's all we'll ever be," you snap.
"What are you talking about?"
"Percy, please," you say, exasperated.
"I don't know what you're talking about, okay. Please just explain."
"Okay, fine," you say, trying to control your crying. "I was going into your cabin to tell you that I like you. No, I don't just like you, I love you, Percy. That's what I was going to tell you. But then I saw you in there with that girl, and it upset me, but at least now I know you don't like me back, so that's awesome."
"Hey, hey, slow down now. Who ever said that I don't like you back?"
"What?"
"You just said that I don't like you back, but I never said that, okay?"
"But what about that girl?" You ask.
"She's from the Aphrodite Cabin, she was helping me figure out how to tell you that I like you. No, I love you," he says your name, and you feel the blood rush to your cheeks.
"Oh," you say, now feeling extremely stupid.
"Yeah."
"Well, um. I'm sorry for freaking out on you," you manage to squeak out.
"Hey, it's fine, okay? I probably would've done the same thing if I was you, don't worry about it," he says, grabbing your hand in between his two larger ones.
"So, um, what now?" You ask.
"Well, we could always kiss," he jokes, not expecting you to actually say yes.
When he feels your full lips on his, he feels like crying, and he thinks he actually does, if the salty taste in his mouth is any sign.
You kiss for what feels like hours, breaking apart for air.
"So, uh, what would you rate that kiss out of 10?" He jokingly asks, breaking the silence.
"Um, probably a 9. But I could rate more accurately if I got to experience it again," you say, and he immediately takes you up on this, crashing your lips together in a somehow more passionate kiss than before.
a/n: okay so i DEFINITELY went crazy with this, but it was just such a good request so thank you saur much and i hope you like this !! i tried to follow it as closely as possible but i got kinda carried away on some parts,, this is also the longest fic i've ever written on this app so do with that what u will
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catmelonwriting · 7 days
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Oohmygofd pleaaase plsplspls write bulimic reader... As some1 who's bulimic i will die if u do (positively)
BSD Men with a bulimic!reader
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Warnings: Bulimia, not proofread, vomit type purging, very self inserted and based off my experiences, bad body image, reader is not underweight, hurt/comfort, a couple usages of (name) in akutagawa's bc I just can't see this man using pet names
Characters: Akutagawa, Chuuya
A/N: I'm sooo glad I'm not the only one who wanted this.. I was really hesitant to write it bc my blog is entirely smut and that usually does better than hurt/comfort, angst, or fluff, but if I'm not the only person who wants it I'm deffy gonna write it!! I don't really like Akutagawas I definitely didn't do him justice but I loveeeee chuuya's
Akutagawa
- Probably will not notice until you tell him.. just thinks you're sick or something when he hears coughing noises from the bathroom.
- From then on he's really concerned, he'll probably do a lot of research on it (w/o you knowing ofc)
- Will try and get you into treatment, even just IOP, but if you refuse HE is going to monitor everything your eating
- If you do end up binging in the middle of the night or while he's not there, the bathroom is off limits for the next 45 minutes.
- He will literally stand in the way of the doorway if you try to go, he's not risking anything.
- If you try not to eat too much the next day to 'make up for it' he'll sit with you while you eat and give you encouraging words here and there, but neither of you are getting up till your finished.
One shot
You're kneeled over the bathroom toilet, the back of a toothbrush nudging your throat, when you let out a loud gag. You immediately take the toothbrush out and cover your mouth.. you had learned to be so quiet after akutagawa found out about your eating disorder, how could you let that happen?
You hear footsteps approaching the bathroom door before three short knocks. "Yeah, Ryū?" You ask, your voice was raspy and you sounded like you had been crying. Fuck, he knows.
"..(Name) are you alright? Are you doing something you shouldn't?" His voice was sharp, like he was angry. You knew he wasn't, you knew he would never be angry at your for something like this.. just.. upset, but you can't help the guilt that courses through your body at his words.
"No." You choke out, shuffling to shove the toothbrush back in the holder. "I heard gagging." You clear your throat, trying to get rid of the rasp. "Um.. I wasn't. Just coughing. I'm not feeling well." You call out, quickly flushing your thrown up dinner down the toilet. "I'll be out in a second."
You dig in the drawers for your perfume, air freshener, dry shampoo, anything you can spray to cover up the smell of your throw up, but you couldn't find anything. So you hesitantly clean your hands and leave the bathroom with the overwhelming smell of vomit filling it.
"Hey, love." You mumble, sitting down next to him on the couch, your voice shaky. "..(Name), don't lie to me. I know what you were doing." He mumbles, placing his hand on the back of your head, pulling you closer to him. You blink back tears as you push your face into his chest. "Im sorry.. I'm so so sorry.. I didn't mean to.. I didn't.." you choke out, sniffling.
"Don't apologize to me, dear. I'm not mad, or even upset. Just.. concerned. You told me you would stop." His voice sounded sympathetic, something you weren't used to with him. The smell of cigarette smoke hung on your jacket, a scent you had grown to love and found comforting since meeting him. The way his lanky, boney, ring covered fingers glided through your hair, his soft voice, it all comforted you, it all told you it was okay to cry.
His heart ached at the little gasps and sniffles and whimpers you let out whilst sobbing into his chest. It made him want to start bawling with you, but of course he wouldn't. He could never appear weak to you. "I'm sorry- I'm so sorry Ryu- I just can't stop- I can't stop no matter how hard I try.." you sob, hands moving to cling onto the fabric of his shirt. "I'm so sorry!"
"Oh baby.." he sighed. You didn't want to look up, you know he's looking down with pity. Pity you didn't want. "It's alright. I don't want you to cry, it's not your fault.. I understand- well, no, I don't. I don't understand, but I want to help you." Wrapping his arms around you, he leans into your head, the scent of your shampoo filling his nose.
That's where you two lay for the rest of your night, him whispering comforting words in your ears, giving you all the love you could ever ask for, something you'd never expect from a man like him.
Chuuya
- He notices within the first month of FRIENDSHIP
- The way you get up and scurry off to the bathroom after every meal you share, the guilt on your face after grabbing a third serving at the party you two are at, how quick you shove shit down your throat before tears well up in your eyes and you excuse yourself.. all of it.
- He definitely cares, but probably won't confront you about it till later on in the friendship if you're still having trouble
- He won't just send you a lousy "have you been eating properly?" Text either, he's gonna invite you over to his house making it known you two are gonna have a serious conversation, then sit you down in his living room then prod and probe till you admit it.
- If you're still struggling w/ it when you're dating/when you move in together (which you probably are bc eds are harsh) he'll be like Akutagawa and monitor everything you eat, just a little more stealthily
- He is not afraid to tell you to slow down if you seem to be overeating.. he takes the binging just as seriously as the purging.
Oneshot
You had awakened in the middle of the night with a need for food. Anything you could get your hands on you needed inside of you asap.
You quickly and carefully slipped out of his arms and out of bed, tip toeing to the kitchen and flicking the light on. The first thing you see is a brand new box of cereal you had bought today, Chuuya hadn't had it in awhile, it was his favorite as a kid and he seemed happy while buying it. Guilt tote through you when you ripped open the box and shuffled handfuls into your mouth, before discarding the half empty box on the ground.
You reached for the cake you two had made for your birthday last week, taking fistfuls with your bare hands and shoving the icing covered cake in your mouth.
After shoving everything in vicinity down your throat, you open the fridge to find a diet coke, or a regular, just anything with bubbles.. anything with carbonation to help you get this all up better. Anything. Your eyes land on an energy drink you had bought yesterday.. you were saving it for today, but in your eyes you needed it now.
You crack it open and glug it down, before looking at the mess you made on the floor. Empty boxes, half eaten cake, a carton of half eaten cookies, an empty bowl that was previously filled with salad, an empty milk carton.. you felt sick to your stomach. You needed this out of you now. Now.
You quietly tip toe to the bathroom, turning off the kitchen lights behind you and locking the door behind you, kneeling on the ground in front of the toilet. You hated doing this, you hated how gross you felt hovering over something where your ass went.. but you needed it gone. You couldn't gain weight.. you already felt so fat as it is no matter how much chuuya tried to convince you you're average.. you just couldn't believe it. Looking in the mirror all you could see was piles of fat.
You push the back of your toothbrush down your throat, gagging almost silently as the first few things came up. You recognized some chocolate, veggies, something.. red.. you didn't want to think about it too much as you shoved the toothbrush back down your throat. You watched as everything you ate came up opposite to the order you had it in.
Finally, you recognize barely chewed lumps of cereal fall into the toilet, and after you throw up stomach acid mixed with dark blood, you sigh, wipe your mouth and stand up, flushing the toilet, and clean yourself up.
Walking out of the bathroom, you see the kitchen lights on. Fuck. You could've sworn you turned those off.
Your ginger haired boyfriend turns the corner from the kitchen, looking you dead in the eyes with disappointment on his face. You wished you could just evaporate. "Love, what is this?" He sounded.. exasperated. Tired of you, tired of your illness, tired of having a girlfriend who can't just eat normally. You were tired of it too, but the Internet made recovery seem so much easier than it really was.
Tears flow out of your eyes as you wipe the remaining spit dribbling from your mouth away. "Did you throw up?" He sighs.. you can't tell if he's being sympathetic or if he's annoyed. Maybe both. All you can muster is a nod before you fall into his chest, letting out broken sobs and choking out apologies. From where you are you can glance into the kitchen, noticing he had cleaned up the little mess you made.
God, not only did he have to deal with such an emotional, disordered girlfriend.. he had to clean up after you too? You felt like such a terrible person, like you didn't deserve his love.
"Cmon, sweetie, let's go to bed. Let me tuck you in." He mutters sleepily. "Don't apologize.. don't apologize, it's not your fault. You know I'm not mad." His whispers comfort you and make you feel worse at the same time, you didn't understand it. "I'm not mad, just worried. I could never be mad at you." He speaks softly, nudging you towards the open door of your bedroom.
You whimper and sniffle as he tucks you into bed, before getting back in himself and wrapping his arms around your waist. He leans in, whispering sweet nothing's in your ear, tracing shapes in your hip, telling you you're beautiful and it'll all be okay until you fall asleep.
When you wake up the next morning, Chuuya isn't there. He must've gone to work already. You see a small note on the bedside table next to you, and hesitantly pick it up to read its contents.
"Hey doll, I'm sorry I left for work before we could talk about this in-person, and I definitely have a plan to speak to you about it tonight. But I wanted to let you know I'm not mad at you, nor am I upset with you, I'm just concerned for your well-being and safety. I want to get you into some treatment program because I'm not trained in this, and I don't really know how to help. I know this isn't entirely about your weight or how your body looks, but baby believe me when I say you're beautiful. You are the most gorgeous girl I have ever laid my eyes on and I am so lucky to have you. You are not 'too much' and your emotional baggage is not too much for me to carry. Even if it was, it's worth it for a girl as sweet and caring as you.
Love, Chuuya"
You hold the note close to your chest and push yourself backwards into bed, draping the covers over yourself and falling back asleep with his letter held close.
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redroses07 · 2 months
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JJ Maybank Dating HCS // SFW + NSFW
A/N: Hey guys!! This is just a collection of my thoughts on what I think dating JJ would be like! Sorry if any are a little too cheesy. I can make a part two if you guys want, and maybe a Rafe version upon request. Anyways hope y'all enjoy! Love u guys! ♡⋆˙
SFW
Literally the sweetest boyfriend you could ever ask for, he has a temper but would never ever hurt you.
You are literally his everything, like when I tell you this man worships you. No matter what he is doing, if you need him he will be there.
One time he was hanging out with Pope and John B, and you called him crying. There wasn't a car nearby and he didn't want to waste time looking for one, so he no joke ran to your house. It wasn't far, but it was far enough for him to nearly collapse at your doorstep when he arrived.
"JJ, are you alright?"
"Mhm- now that m' with you baby."
I feel like whenever y'all are going out he would act all silly and say something like "Your carriage awaits m'lady" in a fake British accent when he picks you up. Then he'd kiss your hand and open the car door for you.
I think his love language is either physical touch or gift giving.
He's definitely a PDA person, like he's always got his arm around you when you're with your friends.
Sometimes he takes it a little overboard and Kie tells his that the two of you are disgusting.
"JJ stop stop." You giggled as JJ peppered kisses down your neck in front of the bonfire.
"Oh my God, just get a room already." Kie snapped.
"Oh shut up you're just jealous!" JJ says.
JJ knows he doesn't always have money to buy you things but that doesn't stop him from still giving you the most thoughtful gifts.
Once he found a patch of wild flowers, picked as many as he could hold in his hands, tied a ribbon around them, and gave them to you.
You of course loved them, and gave him the biggest hug.
SPEAKING OF HUGS!!!! JJ is totally the type to sneak up behind you and attack you with a hug.
This happens so often that you would think you'd learn to see it coming, but somehow he always manages to surprise you.
You squeal as JJ aggressively wraps his arms around your waist, smothering your face in kisses.
He's also the WORST about picking you up and throwing you in the water.
"JJ it's cold!!" you squealed in protest as he threw you over his shoulder.
"Oh well that's too bad!!" JJ cackled as he threw you off the pier into the icy water.
NSFW
HIS RINGS. This is probably weird but I don't think JJ takes his rings off when he fingers you. And I know DAMN WELL that cold metal feels so good.
I am a firm believer that JJ is a little munch. He loves loves loves to eat you out, especially when he's high. He's surprisingly good at it too, and definitely gets pussy drunk.
I just know that JJ could be super submissive at times, especially when he's had a long day.
When he comes home after a stressful day he wants nothing more than for you to relieve that stress.
"I need you right now baby, can you please take care of me." JJ whines. tugging at your clothes.
"Whatever you want, my pretty boy." You say, climbing on top of him.
I feel like JJ has a thing for doing it outside. Like whether it's on the beach, on his boat, or just straight up in the ocean.
You two cannot go to the beach alone at night without it ending with your clothes discarded off to the side.
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