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artificialqueens · 5 years

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king of the world (Branjie) - ohhthereuare

AN: We thought the picture Vanessa posted (and then fastly deleted) was in a drunken, sad haze. But what if it wasn’t? A conspiracy theory based on the screenshot Brooke posted on Twitter proving they’re happily together and both in on the shadiness.

I– My dumb ass thought my laptop randomly didn’t save this fic after I wrote it exactly a day after their exchange on Twitter, turns out I just saved it in a different folder and found it today while looking for my resume. I hope it’s still not too late to share my conspiracy theory about this “drunken” picture posted by V. Let me know what your thoughts are!

AO3

The phone was pretty much already glued to Brooke’s hand for the past ten minutes, vibrating non-stop with the endless twitter and Instagram notifications, so when she got an incoming FaceTime call, she answered comically fast.

“Hiiiiii babyyyy! You busy or somethin’?” Vanessa’s blurry face appeared on the phone screen and Brooke’s heart automatically started beating a little faster. She must’ve just finished her gig, a bright yellow wig, and sparkly makeup still on. Brooke had already gotten rid of her stage persona and was already getting ready for bed. The not-so-harsh time difference made it possible for them to catch up.

“Hi, Papi. No, just winding down after the show. What’s up?”

“Just missed ya stupid face, that’s all.”

Vanessa was still in the club. The music was playing somewhere in the background, mixed with incoherent conversations and laughter. Her smile was so broad it was contentious. She was swaying a little bit and her words were slurring together from alcohol no doubt. There was a sheepish glim in her eyes.

“I’ve seen the picture that you posted of us. And the song.”

“Mmm” Vanessa looked away from the phone for a moment, trying to look like she was looking for something, distracted, not paying too much attention but Brooke caught how the corner of her lips quivered when she tried not to smile. It must have meant more to her than what she tried to let on. Sometimes words weren’t their strongest suit but they already knew each other to well to not know how to read the signs.

“I really liked it. Why did you delete it?” Henry settled by Brooke’s side, purring with his eyes contently closed while Apollo laid in a bread-like position by her feet. She was late-night snacking on some sweet potato chips, that she had found in the cupboard, and the crumbs were getting all over the bedsheets.

“The management was all up my ass the second that it went up, these hoes. Keeping tabs on us 24/7 and shit. They told me to take it down. So it don’t mess their whole theme of—”

“—keep watching the show. Yeah” they finished in unison. There was a slight bitterness to their tones, but there was not much they could do. They were already bending the rules and the money mentioned at the bottom of their NDA contract was good enough for them to make it through just a couple more months.

“I meant it, y’know. The song I mean. The lyrics and shit.”

Now it was Brooke’s time to look away to hide her face, afraid of revealing too much. It’s been over a year. A year of feelings so new and wonderful sometimes it felt like her body could not contain all of them with how her heart swelled in her chest and made it hard to breathe. A year of being so happy but having to keep all of that a secret when all she wanted to do was scream it at the top of her lungs for the world to hear. There was a reason why every single time someone as much as mentioned Vanjie during the interviews Brooke instantly turned into a grinning, blushing, lovesick puppy.

“Would you, um… Would you send me the picture though? The one of us that you used with the song? I don’t think I have it and I’d like… I mean I didn’t really get a chance to look at it before you had to take it down.” The whole two minutes that it was on Instagram she kept refreshing the Story time after time to stare at it just a bit longer. Beside the point though.

This time neither looked away. Despite the shaky connection and blurry vision, the two queens locked eyes and the moment felt strangely intense, as if that gaze conveyed everything that they didn’t know how to put in words. They were already past the point of having to prove something to one another.

“Yeah, I’ll do– do that when I get home. I gotta go now though. Other people want to get some of Miss Vaaaanjie.”

“Okay, just remember that that ass is already taken.”

“Not like I could forget. Taken and taken care of. Okayloveyabyeeee!”

“You, too.”

Almost two hours went by and Brooke kept tossing and turning in her bed, reaching for her phone every five minutes. When it finally binged with a new message she reached for it so hard she almost pulled a muscle. The top notification read “Jose” with an orange heart and a bunch of their favorite emojis that they loved to use and confuse the fans with. Maybe they’d explain it during the Reunion episode. Or maybe not.

Did u get it

Under the message, there was a blank, grey square indicating an incoming picture.

Still loading, Brooke typed back.

Fuckit

A second later it finally got delivered and Brooke had to close her eyes and hide her smiling face into the pillow before she could look at it again. She remembered the night that it was taken during their stay in Toronto. How comfortable, happy, at home she had felt. Vanessa’s back warmly pressed against her arm, her neck smelling like fresh hotel sheets, menthol cigarettes that Brooke had kept smoking, and cologne. Brooke’s hand placed at her waist, keeping her closer. Vanessa’s own palm resting on the Canadian queen’s thigh and their pinkie fingers linked together, a little detail cut off by the picture frame.

She reached for her AirPods and opened Spotify, looking through Natalie Grant’s discography until she found the right song. The melody filled her headphones and she took a last look at their picture before closing her eyes and smiling like an idiot. God, she couldn’t wait for when they’d be able to openly talk about all of it. For now though, you’d just have to keep watching the show.

#rpdr fanfiction #branjie #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #fluff #ohhthereuare #submission

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branch--chief--faba · 5 years

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Branch-Chief--Faba

It's me, the former owner of branch-chief--faba.

Someone I know pointed out the post @trash-troll made and after reaching out to them they did imply me with their post. So let's start out with the obvious; me writing this post means I'm alive. Though I should add 'barely' to that.

Trash-Troll showed me screenshots of people talking about me. And after them convincing me to do it I've decided to write my version of what happened or more importantly.. how I feel about the whole thing. I am not here to debunk anything.. because it will become a he said/she said thing. Let’s just go into this wall of text by saying both parties fucked up.

The end of 2017 and all of 2018 were pretty bad for me, mentally. I was hurt and lost and I didn't know what to do. A year prior to that I made the blog. It was fun! I never had so many people reaching out to me and willing to spend time to me. That was a whole new experience and in hindsight I didn't know how to deal with it. This isn't me debunking or saying something did or didn't happen but I guess I was in over my head. I had never been popular or even had friends before. Or friends who weren't forced to hang with me because of college or them being co-workers. You know how proud I was that people found me cute or pretty when I posted a selfie? Yeah that never happened before. It boosted my self esteem sky high.

I did some things that in hindsight weren't smart or downright stupid. I let people play me. I fought battles for people I should have never fought. I was just so afraid that if I didn't do it- they leave and I'd be alone again. I didn’t purposely stick my nose in other’s business. I just wanted to help and now i feel that some people really took advantages of that. In that sense this blog was both a blessing.. and a curse for me. I was so obsessed with keeping everyone happy that I forgot my own happiness and I forgot to look further than the tip of my nose and to please some people I hurt some others, unintentional at the time.. but I understand now and I’m sorry.

I can only apologise for it now. I am to blame for my actions even though they were inspired by others and sometimes it was peer pressure. I admit that I should've been stronger when i was in a discord made to slam a group of people. I've been a fool and absolutely stupid. You know those PSA’s when they tell you doing nothing is as bad as the bullying? Yeah. At times i was the bystander... and I wish I could undo it but I can’t.

I feel like (now that I've seen screenshots..) that sometimes I was set up to vent about a person only for it to be shared. Was it fair for me to vent? Yes and no. In my eyes- I was hurt by a few people and I thought the person i was talking to (this venting only happened one on one, never in a group.) was someone I could trust. I know better now and I feel stupid. I said things in pure emotion and in confidence. I was angry and hurt and I just wanted to vent those feelings. Again, I'm the fool for walking into such an obvious trap. I don't blame anyone but myself. I should’ve know better. I really should. However, this isn't just about me.

There are things people did that are wrong too. Things that hurt me. I will never forget me finding the courage to call someone out on how their actions harmed me mentally and them saying that 'It was my own fault for being too emotionally attached to them'. That's painful and that hurts, even today it haunts me to my core.

I won't forget that I was doxxed, that i got daily anons to kill myself, that they wish I had cancer, etc. Even though I enjoyed writing Faba up till that point I just had to slow down. I had up to 1000 asks at the end of it and a lot of them were nasty anons. I deleted one and two came in it's place. Eventually I just had to stop for my own sanity. I know people suggested and would suggest now that I just should’ve turned the anons off but again. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I thought that turning them off would mean people wouldn’t like me anymore, because there were good anons too! I figured ‘why should they suffer because of a few’ and in hindsight.. I should’ve just turned the anons off. I know hindsight is 20/20 but..

It was around that time almost everything went sour and I still don't know why. This is not me being a idiot, I really don't know why. I am still so socially awkward and figuring out human emotions is hard for me. Sometimes I don't understand until someone tells me 'Hey I'm mad at you because you did X or Y' I'm working on it though but it's not easy.

I won’t forget how a duo of a cis man and a cis woman reached out to someone and pretended to be a gay couple. And I will never forgive myself for not stopping it. And if you were the victim of this and if you read this then I’m so sorry. Know that I am absolutely disgusted with myself.

I will not forget how a new discord was made without me.. and the reason I wasn’t welcome? I was a supposed transphobe. I am not. Since deleting I’ve had A LOT of time to myself and I came to few conclusions about my gender and my sexual identity. DO NOT even think about use my dead name. I can’t believe someone would say that about me.

I know people think I’m just some money hound and out for that but I’m not. I don’t give a single shit about money. I care about happiness and I’m not getting it and because of it I’m not growing as a person.

I won’t forget how hurt I was by the actions of a few. And I can’t forget because I feel it .. even today. It consumes me and I already hear people laughing about it. Because ‘haha look at this dumb fuck, right? It’s been a year.” but I just can’t. It’s etched so deep inside me that it makes me sick.

I know you know who I'm talking about it. And I know you know it's you. I’m doing a favour and not tag anyone I’m going to leave the responsibility to owe up to your actions to you and if you don’t.. then that also speaks volumes about you as a person. And those people I'm talking about need to take a good hard look at themselves. Instead of posting that 'the evil is defeated' gif or celebrating someone deleting out of despair. Because this is not the only story to tell. There are LOADS more. Trash-Troll showed me. Please just be kinder..

I cannot change the past and I will never deny myself having some part in it.. but no one should feel like I do over fandom stuff. NO ONE. And no one can really help you if you see someone get doxxed, bullied or threatened and you sit back thinking 'eh they deserve it' no one deserves it. I know we live in an age where internet is part of our lives. But for many the internet is a safe space where they can just be a little looser than usual. Just block people.

What happened after I left this blog? I started by deleting my Discord, there were too many bad memories attached to it so I just dumped the whole thing out. I send a message explaining why I did it and send a few people who I thought I could trust my new discord. That not a single soul accepted my new friend request.. yeah that stung pretty hard. So, after keeping it up for two months and resending the friend requests.. I just deleted that one too.

I stopped using my other socials, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. I had to quit my job. If you can recall it wasn't a job that required a lot of thinking so my thoughts were allowed to run wild. Sometimes I started working and I just didn't know how I got to the end of my shift. It was just.. there. I'd black out thinking about the whole mess. I was feeling numb for months, nothing would bring me joy or sadness. It was like I was stuck in the ocean. Just below the surface and not being able to reach out. I could see people on the shore and I could swear they could see me too, but it was safer to let me drown.

I deleted all my tumblrs too. All of them. I didn't want anything to do with this place. I moved to twitter for a bit when I got lonely but that didn't stick. I had a few odd conversations but Twitter isn’t really the best place to talk about things I figured.

I tried to get myself to draw and write again but I couldn't.. I just couldn't. I tried but every time I opened a word document or put pen on paper I'd get antsy and panic-y. I couldn't bring myself to create anything at all. Not writing, not art, nothing. Even drawing original characters or other fandom stuff. I couldn't.

I was and still am too afraid to share anything with anyone. My brain goes through a whole series of 'what ifs' when i'm trying to write or draw. "What if they like it and we get talking and I mess up again." or "What if I put a lot of effort in a work and people will ignore it on purpose because they know it's me?" those kinds of thoughts.

My whole memory is warped. What really happend and what did my brain make up. I am not saying I’m not to blame for things, either partly or wholly but I NEVER had the intention to hurt people on purpose. I’m not hiding behind anything but fact remains that I am socially malformed. I don’t understand things. I spend the first 16 years of my life basically talking to no one and when I did.. I was the ‘weird kid’ or I heard my peer saying ‘Don’t talk to the freak.. so weird!’ I was never raised to be social and then I was dropped in a very social group full of very colourful people.I didn’t know how to handle it and it drove me literally nuts.

I feel into a deep depression and the last two months of 2018 are a haze for me. I barely remember anything. I don’t remember Christmas, I don’t remember New Years. It’s a blur. I almost died a couple of times, it's no secret. And for that I have the permanent reminder... I'm glad I didn't do it though.

Now it's 2019 and 2019 is almost over; how am I doing now?

Not much better. I still have the fear to create. I want to but I can’t. I still barely touch my socials because of my paranoia of people finding me and the whole circus starting again. I use my instagram because of cosplay commission stuff and I only use my Twitter to support some artists on there. Even then I keep this ‘neutral-someone-everyone-can-like-persona’ just this safe ‘brand type’ posts.

I'm only back on Tumblr for this and I won't be coming back. This isn't a revival tour. It's like one last song to send everyone on their way.

Please leave others alone. I truly am not on Tumblr and do not plan to come back not now or ever. I do not have a sneaky hidden blog. All the blogs I used to own are either dead or I just gave it to people who used to own blogs with me.

It's very painful for me to write this all out. I know I'm missing a lot of parts. To summarise; while I did some things that I'm not proud of. I cannot believe the lengths people went to to make me feel horrible about myself.

I cannot believe you guys would share some things about me that I wanted to keep private. That I thought was pretty private and you would understand. I'm sickened by the lies told about me and disgusted that it's still going in 2019, almost a year after I deleted everything.

I gave my new discord to people and those people never accepted and that's fine, it hurts but it's fine. I never bothered them or sought contact. I will admit that I once accidentally send a snapchat to someone.. but I promise that was an honest accident. I didn’t mean to. But I just don't get the feeling the same thing is happening and I have proof from people that I'm right.

Can you not post my trauma for all to see? That's not justice that's just being a dick... I have no other word for it. Being an evil dick. I never spoke badly about any of you after the whole thing. I will admit that .. in my anger when it all was going on, I did vent to people and TRUST me I regret that. I thought it would stay between us but it leaked..

Do the same for me and please have the decency to apologise for the things you did and just.. stop putting my private shit online without my consent. What I shared, I shared because I felt I could trust people. It was never about sympathy because I do not want it.

You gain nothing except the satisfaction that you gave me a kick again by sharing it. Which is a horrendous move. You’re not getting even, you’re winning at being a dick..

I want to be left alone. I want that confirmation of 'hey we're leaving you alone now'. I want to go back before I was paranoid. It’s not a fun thing. It’s maddening to think something behind EVERYONE’s action. Deep down.. I know better but I can’t stop. It’s a problem and I’m working on it.

I want NOTHING to do with Pokemon OR it's fandom. I won't be purchasing games or other media from it. I just gave away my copies of the 3DS games to people who wanted them. The whole thing is too triggering to me.

I wish I could pick up a pencil or pen and draw and write again without having a panic attack and I wish I could show myself on my private social media again without people watching me.

I know you guys doxxed me before using my Facebook- It's not weird of me to think people could do it again.

I don't mind it, if you hit me up and talk to me via this blog. You can reply to this post or just us DM. My only rule is to be civil. I am being civil too even though I feel empty, numb and sick.

And finally.. I apologise for EVERYONE who people thought were me. You don’t deserve that. No one does.

Well I guess this mystery is solved, what happens next is wholly up to you. I am not going to reach out myself. I made that promise.

I’m posting this because I have nothing else left to lose. Please show me you’re capable of human decency. And some things only God can forgive. That goes for me too.

And just to proof it’s me; I will be tagging this post as I always did; using my old tags.

#branch-chief--faba #spring bean text #faba #branch chief faba #pokemon #pokemon rp #pokemon rp community #aether foundation

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purplemango501 · 5 years

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2019.02.23 Hyun Joong New Way Concert @ Busan

Updated My Special 501 Dates

Kind of late writing this but here goes! This is the first time I watched a concert in Korea so there’s so much I want to talk about! So once again I’m going to split this Fan Account in sections.

Prologue

To be honest I really never pictured myself watching a concert in Korea. The thought of watching a concert there just felt so distant. Even last year when I went to Macau for his concert it felt like something very far away. Furthermore I don’t understand Korean so I really didn’t think I would be able to get tickets nor did I want to get it through those resellers and let them earn big bucks for doing nothing. So the idea just really didn’t come to mind until one day I just got bored and decided to take a look at the ticketing. I must say how thankful I am that Interpark has an English site that is pretty user friendly. I was quite surprised to see that there were quite a lot of seats left and a little sad to be honest. But in a way it’s kind of good because I managed to get pretty good seats as you can see below in orange.

Although this time I wasn’t as close as the one in Macau, it felt much better because I was in the center and i could view the whole stage at all times! It was absolutely amazing. So another concern about watching it in a foreign country is a didn’t really want to travel alone. A main issue I thought was going to be ordering food alone at restaurants, it just seems sad. I asked a lot of people to go with me but no one was interested until I asked my aunt and she was totally on board haha. So off I went to book my flight hotel and of course the concert tickets. To be honest if I couldn’t find anyone to go with me I was already prepared to go alone because I really think chances are rare and I should treasure these chances and go watch whilst I’m still young.

Oh and one more thing is it’s so cheap watching it in Korea, all the seats have the same price, I paid for my aunt’s ticket as well and both tickets together is equivalent to one ticket in HK (the expensive category). On top of that our seats were great so it was totally worth it!

Just Before The Concert

Again this time I found out on Weibo that there was going to be a handshake event again!! I was so shocked because this didn’t happen in the Seoul concerts earlier this month so I was super happy and excited.

On the day we went to venue KBS Busan Hall and collected our tickets there, it was much quicker than I expected and the logistics was pretty good. We queued up based on the last name of the booking name and quickly collected the tickets.

So I noticed the people around me were speaking in Cantonese so I asked the person in front of me if she was also from Hong Kong. Turns out a bunch of Hong Kong fans came together to support Hyun Joong. I was actually quite surprised by the amount of HK fans that came. There were at least 20 fans from HK! It was quite nice to meet people from home in a foreign concert.

A very interesting thing I noticed is that around 70% of the people there were from overseas, mainly from Japan! Only about 30% were from Korea. 95% of the fans were middle age in their 40s to 50s hahaha. My aunt and I were probably close to the youngest ones hahhaha. My aunt kept saying how she felt like she was very young compared to the rest and clearly I also felt the same ^^

A special thing about watching concert in Korea is all the rice wreaths. This is a very Korean thing where fans raise money to donate rice wreaths and the rice will be donated to people that need it. It’s a great way to show your love for your idol and also do something good for the community. I’ve seen these in pictures but it’s the first time seeing it in person and I really like it! There was a whole bunch of these, mainly from Japanese fans and some from Hong Kong fan groups!

Compared to the shows in Hong Kong and Macau there weren’t a lot of freebies. No one was giving out banners, I was actually pretty surprised. Turns out when we went inside the hall there were some staff waiting to give out these banners that say “love you very much” in Busan dialect. We raised these up when he sang Love Song (I really like this song from his new album!!

The Concert

Quick summary of the concert, he sang a total of 28 songs, 6 more than the Seoul concert! Of which there were a few Busan special songs!

He started the concert with New Way, i managed to sneak one pretty bad photo but I couldn’t take any more cause the security was very strict :(

Everyone stood up immediately! We actually stayed standing up for one and a half hours until Hyun Joong told us to sit down before Haze lol.

Anyway he sang most of his new songs and the backdrop (?) the video that played in the background was really pretty. It was mainly scenry but it fit in very well with New Way, Why, Misery etc.

Hyun joong mentioned that Busan stage would be a little different, suddenly the band was playing an interesting arrangement and then oh my god they played LET ME BE THE ONE!!! I WAS SO SHOCKED. Hyun Joong said this was a Busan special, he re-arranged SS501′s Let me be the one and it was just amazing. Everyone screamed like crazy, all the feels my god! I actually thought that was the only surprise stage until he sang Love Like This later in the concert. I must say he really improved his singing a lot, I think partly is cause he didn’t dance so he has more focus on his singing. He used to find it difficult to reach the high notes in Love Like This but he seemed to reach it with ease this time. Another thing is you can actually hear Saengie’s voice in the Love Like This backing!!! All my group feels my god!

The concert actually seemed pretty long, it was 3 full hours. He didn’t change clothes at all and really committed to singing as many songs as he could. When he sang Lucky Guy the Japanese fans actually followed him and danced, it was so cute looking at some old ladies dance hahaha. They have more energy than a 23 year old (me). LOL

When he sang Lucky Guy for the second time during encore he walked down towards the fans and he was so crazy close to me!!! I mean super close!!!! I managed to take a very short video and here are two screenshots from the video.

It was quite funny during encore because he was just going to sing three songs (ASTRAEA, Lucky Guy, Moonlight) but we kept chanting so he sang So What and said ti’s the last song. But we wanted more. Eventually he sang Kiss Kiss again!!!! I actually can’t decided if Kiss Kiss or Please is my favourite song but Kiss Kiss is just sooooo sweet. And this time it was really cute because he made us repeat the kiss kiss part so many times. It sounded super duper cute though, we all did a great job in my opinion. It was so cute!!!! Handshake

After the concert there was the handshake event. He stood near the door and we queued up one by one and shook his hand as we left. This is the THIRD time i shook his hand and I really want t o say his hand is still ever as soft as before. I’m really lucky cause all three concerts i’ve been I was able to shake his hands. I hope in the future I’ll still have this luck <3 I still really appreciate his dedication in shaking every fan’s hand, got to love him so much <3

Post Concert Feels

I’m really really really really glad I took the step to fly over for this concert. It was worth everything! I had a great break from work as well and traveled around Busan with my aunt and had a great time. My aunt wasn’t actually a fan of Hyun Joong but because we were going to watch his concert she actually ‘prepared’ and listened to his songs. The funny thing is now she’s addicted to his songs hahaha.

I think watching a concert in Korea feels really different. The people feel different. In Hong Kong or in Macau there’s a lot of Mainland Chinese and although I’m Chinese myself, I cannot associate well with the older generation of Mainland Chinese people. They tend to be ill mannered and pushy. This time everyone was very disciplined. Hyun Joong jumped off stage a couple of times and walked through the crowd but the fans just stayed at their respective positions and cheered. If this happened in Hong Kong or Macau, fans would jump at him and it wouldn’t have been possible for him to walk arouond. I really appreciate how Japanese fans are so polite and well mannered. Absolutely loved it!

Hyun Joong said he wants to have a concert in Seoul, Busan, and Jeju evvery year. I really think I”m going to go watch every year. I hope this becomes a tradition and I can grow old together with him.

A key feeling i felt this time was he aged quite a bit, maybe cause he got fatter. But it’s also kinda cute cause it makes him more human and seem just like us. Again I’m so grateful to have him in part of my llife <3 Can’t wait for a SS501 comeback, feels like it’s not too far!!

#SS501 #kim hyun joong #hyun joong #concert #kpop concert #kpop #fan account

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