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#i think we all knew deep down that didn’t happen
changbinlov3r · 2 days
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We can't be friends | H.H.
Pairing: Hyunjin x reader
Genre: ANGST, smut
Summary: you have been in love with your best friend for a long time. On a night where you were supposed to comfort him after a break up, things heat up and he finally looks at you the way you wanted.
Words count: 2,957
THIS WORK IS FOR +18 AUDIENCES ONLY, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT
Warnings: biting, protected piv, hickeys, blowjob, hair pulling, cursing(I think that's all)
A/N: I wanted to write something to "we can't be friends" by ariana grande, I was thinking so hard about what to write and this idea came to me so suddenly and I knew I had to write it.
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Hwang Hyunjin was everything you ever dreamt about. You didn’t realize that right when you met him in your first year of college, to you he was just a friend until he wasn’t anymore. You started noticing every little thing about him, how his eyes turn into crescents when he smiles, the face he makes when he eats something good, what are his favorite drinks and snacks. Suddenly everything about Hyunjin sounded so interesting that you didn’t even realize you were in love. You didn’t realize how happy you got every time he sent you a message, how touched you felt when he went to pick you up at work because it was raining and you forgot your umbrella, how calm you felt when you were with him, watching a movie and chilling.
The moment you realized you were in love, you knew you couldn’t be best friends anymore but you liked to pretend. Hyunjin never even looked at you twice so your mind never went to dark places, wondering what it would be like to tell him how you feel but even though that was the case, he didn't make it easy for you to stop liking him.
He would bring you snacks and medicine when you were on your period, when you felt down about anything he would be there to cheer you up and you could tell him just about anything, you knew he wouldn’t judge you — well, almost anything. Could he ever understand you about this, though? How could you fall in love with your best friend?
When he got his first girlfriend it was a shock to you, the pain in your chest felt like it would burn you whole, but you kept fighting with your heart, telling yourself that it wouldn’t do you any good for him to know about your feelings. His relationship didn’t last long but it also wasn’t the last you heard about a relationship of his and you thought you were okay with it. That is, until he met his last girlfriend. Hyunjin was head over heels for her and that killed you time and time again. Your heart broke more and more every time he talked about her, every time you slept over and heard him calling her late at night, telling her how much he loved her. A month went by, then three months, then a year.
Of course you didn’t want them to break up because you knew he would suffer and that was the last thing you wanted, even if in that case you would be the one hurting. You tried to date other people, but you always felt it was wrong because deep inside you didn’t want to get over him, not when you were still hopeful that one day he would look at you.
It was late at night when Hyunjin called you, it was clear in his voice that something was not right.
“Can you come over?” He asks, voice hoarse and tired.
“Give me ten minutes”, you tell him, jumping out of bed. You were already in your pjs, ready to sleep and no one other than Hyunjin could make you go out this time of the night.
You don't even change your shirt, putting on sweatpants and brushing your hair quickly before grabbing your keys and your coat, walking to the door. The chill air of the night blows your hair, messing everything up and making your face grow cold. Winter has been killing you for a while now, you have been avoiding coming to the cold outside since you started to work from home.
You get into your car, turning on the heater, putting on some light music so you can stay calm and not freak out about what happened to your best friend.
You don’t even knock when you get to his apartment, pressing the password to the door lock and entering the house. A strong smell of liquor comes straight to your nose, stopping you in your tracks. There are so many soju bottles on the floor that you can’t even count and you hear the sound of the shower, so you can only conclude that Hyunjin is taking a bath.
Sighing and taking your coat, you throw it on the table, going to the kitchen to find a plastic bag and starting to collect the trash around the living room. What the hell happened? Hyunjin is usually pretty neat, it’s rare to see his house this messy.
You hear the sound coming from the bathroom disappear while you wash the dishes, drying your hands on a towel and leaning against the kitchen counter, waiting for Hyunjin to show up.
He looks awful, clean but horrible. He has eye bags under his eyes and seems tired like he hasn't slept in days.
“What happened?” You ask him, walking to him to take a closer look.
Hyunjin pouts, looking at you. You swear he’s almost crying.
“Jisoo broke up with me”, he says, running his hand through his hair.
“She did what?” You scowl, eyes widening and he sighs. “What happened? This came out of nowhere”
“I don’t know, she’s been acting weird lately and she didn’t want me to pick her up at work anymore so I asked about it and she felt offended that I was being suspicious of her, but I was not”, he whines, “I was just asking if there was something wrong”
“When did it happen? Are you drunk right now?” You recall the amount of empty bottles of alcohol you found when you arrived.
“She ended it yesterday, I thought she was gonna come around”, he cries out, “but she even blocked me on social media”
Hyunjin turns around, walking to the sofa and sitting, supporting his elbows on his thighs while he covers his face.
“I'm not drunk, I ran out of booze a few hours ago and just couldn't get myself to go buy more”, he sighs, “I have no energy”
You feel that pain in your chest, you never wanted to see him suffering like this.
“Look, you have today to cry and tomorrow you're gonna forget about her, okay?”, you groan, the last thing you want is to comfort the guy you like because someone else broke his heart. “You have me, you’re gonna be fine” You walk to him, sitting by his side and patting his back. Hyunjin sighs, nodding begrudgingly.
“Thank you for coming”, he says, leaning down and putting his head on your shoulder. “I know it's late”
“Don’t worry about it”, you assure him, “I'm always here for you”
Hyunjin nods, looking up at you before you glance down at him, his dark eyes watching you like he can see right through you, all your emotions. Suddenly the atmosphere becomes strange, you both fall into silence and you feel something deep inside you, something you don't think you have ever felt before as he glances to your mouth and then your lips are on his.
For a few seconds you can't fully understand what's happening, are you two really kissing? And is he reciprocating? Hyunjin’s lips are just like you thought it would be, soft and sweet. Are you a horrible person for doing this when he just broke up with his girlfriend? His hands move to cup your face, deepening the kiss but yours go straight to his chest, pushing him away.
“We shouldn't do this”, you shake your head, trying to get back to your senses. “This isn't right”
Hyunjin scowls.
“It's fine, I want it”, he tries kissing you again but you stop him again.
“You were drinking earlier, you are not thinking straight”, you try keeping your cool.
“I'm sober now”, he insists, “please, y/n”, he pleads, making your heart melt.
It's not like you don't want to have him, you really do.
“You won't regret it later?” You ask, biting on your bottom lip and when he shakes his head, you turn off the side of your brain that makes good decisions, kissing him again.
You grab his face, deepening the kiss, delighting yourself on his plump lips. His long hair falls around your fingers, tickling your skin and the brush of his tongue on yours makes you sigh. Hyunjin bites on your bottom lip, pulling it lightly while his hands slide down to your hips, pressing his fingers with such force you think it might cause a bruise.
He kisses you again, hungrily, leaning over and making you fall back on the sofa as he hovers over your body. You feel tiny beneath him, like he holds all the power in the world and you’re just there ready to make all his wishes come true.
As he trails kisses down your neck, you sigh and slide your hands to the hem of his shirt, pulling it off of him and throwing it somewhere in the room. You kiss him again, eagerly, not capable of staying away for too long as his hands slide down your shirt grabbing at your breasts, making you let out a moan. Your hands go down his abs, sliding inside his pants, pressing your fingers around his hard cock. You start massaging it up and down and Hyunjin bites on your bottom lip, pulling it slightly just enough for you to feel a slight pain.
He slips his hand down your bra, kneading at your breasts and pinching on your nipples.
“Fuck”, you murmur, not able to hold up anymore as you pull your on shirt off to give him the view of your chest that's bare in a few seconds since you work fast to undo your bra.
He watches you for a moment, mesmerized by your beauty. You feel your cheeks grow hot, trying to cover yourself but he blocks your movements, holding your arms above your head. Hyunjin kisses your neck, leaving a trail of bites that are going to cause you to use turtlenecks for a while but you are not complaining, he trails down your collarbone till your breasts so he can suck on your nipples, rubbing his hard cock against your tight while he enjoys his time at your chest.
You can't hold yourself back anymore, so you put your hands on his chest, pushing him away enough for him to sit down. You throw one leg over him, sitting on his lap, brushing your core against his hard cock, moaning to the delicious pressure. You kiss him again, rubbing yourself against him a few times, his hands go straight to your hip forcing you down.
You pull away when you can't breathe anymore, trailing kisses down his jaw and neck, giving him a bite right on top of his collarbone, not stopping until he hisses.
“You're going to leave a mark”, he groans, opening his eyes that were shut in pleasure, just to look at you, seeing the smirk you have on your lips.
“That's the point”, you say, finally detaching your lips from his skin, enjoying the view of it turning purple.
You get down from his lap, getting on your knees in between his legs, pulling his pants and underwear down to find his painfully hard cock, glistening with precum. You grab the base of his cock, pumping it a few times before you get close enough to lick the head, circling it with your tongue, listening to him moan while he grabs the sofa, knuckles turning with the strength he's using.
You hold one of his hands with yours bringing it to your head and letting it rest on your hair, as you look at him sharply, sucking up and down on his cock even more eagerly.
“Fuck”, he grabs a handful of your hair, pressing your head further down his cock, the head reaching the back of your throat, making tears escape your eyes. “You look so pretty gagging around me”, he murmurs, throwing his head back, groaning to the intense feeling of the orgasm approaching.
You feel his grip tighten on your hair and he cums a few seconds later, letting go of your hair and breathing heavily, trying to recompose himself. You stare at him from the floor, not sure if he's going to want to keep going, but he soon looks back at you stretching himself to the side of the sofa till he reaches the drawer in the rack, pulling a condom out of there.
“Do you want to-”, he begins to say.
“Yes”, you nod frantically not even letting him finish.
“Good”, he smiles, tearing the package and putting on the condom, his cock hardening again. “It's pretty difficult not to get hard again seeing you fucked out like that for me”, he teases. Your hair is disheveled, your lips are swollen and there are tears marks down your cheeks.
You smile sheepishly watching as Hyunjin offers you his hand, pulling you down to sit back on his lap. You grab his cock, teasing your entrance lightly, closing your eyes to the feeling. When you sink down you swear you can see stars, his cock is just perfect, the stretch feels so good you can't even begin to describe it. He's reaching places you didn't even know you wanted to be reached, the way he grabs your hips, pushing you down on him while he makes you grind makes the sensation a thousand times better. You can already barely breath when he kisses you again, bringing a hand to your hair and pulling it while he bites on your lips, you can feel him thrusting into you, faltering movements showing that he's almost reaching his second orgasm. He trails kisses down your neck, kissing the hill between your breasts and licking on your right nipple while he curses under his breath.
“I'm gonna cum”, he announces, detaching his mouth from your chest, glancing at you just to see you nod, murmuring ‘me too, I'm almost there’ over and over until a loud moan escapes your lips. Your legs tremble and you hug Hyunjin looking for some kind of support, he wraps his arms around you, fucking into you while he cums too.
You don't have any strength left to get up when you come down from your high, resting your head on his shoulder. Hyunjin gently picks you up, holding your legs around his hips while he carries you to his room, laying you down on his bed. He murmurs something but you're too groggy to understand him, falling into a deep slumber as soon as you feel his lips meeting your forehead.
It's already afternoon when you wake up, there's no one by your side though and you feel the pain of regret beginning to find its way to your chest. You could ignore it, you really could, if it wasn't for Hyunjin’s voice coming from outside the room. You dress up fast, walking to the door to hear what he's talking about and then you realize he's not alone.
“Do you have any idea of how much you hurt me?” You hear his voice.
“I'm sorry”, you hear Jisoo’s voice, “I know I went overboard this time but I wasn't thinking clearly”
You feel your stomach sinking in, your heart starts beating on your ears but you make a huge effort to keep listening to them.
“What do you want me to do about it now?” He asks, sighing.
“Let's get back together”, she suggests, “we can pretend we never even broke up in the first place”
You want to believe with all you have in you that he's gonna deny her, that he's going to think about you and tell her he's not interested anymore.
“Fine”, he says, “but I'll need some time to think”
You wish you could say you're surprised with his answer but you're not, it's not even sad, it's just pathetic. You really thought that he would really look at you this time, didn't you? That he would fall in love with you after one night together? That's embarrassing to say the least.
You scoff to yourself, walking around the room and collecting your things, you want to get the hell out of there and disappear from this world.
You hear the front door being closed and you know Hyunjin is gonna show up at any time now.
You're already ready to go when he opens the door, stopping on his tracks to look at you.
“I didn't know you were awake”, he says, sheepishly.
“I am”, you say walking past him in the direction of the front door.
“Y/N, about yesterday-”, he starts saying but is interrupted by you spinning around to look at him, trying to contain the tears that are threatening to escape your eyes.
“You're a fucking asshole”, you tell him, making him scowl.
“I- look, you don't understand”, he tries but you laugh, scoffing at him.
“What don't I understand? That you fucked me one night and went back to your girlfriend the next morning?”
“I wasn't on my right mind yesterday”
“Fuck you”, you feel your face hot with anger, “you said you wouldn't regret it”, you cry out as you run your hands through your hair, “I guess that's on me for really believing you”
“Let's not let this ruin our friendship okay? We can take some time apart to clear our heads but we are still best friends, y/n”
“We can't be friends”, you inform him, “I have known that for a long time now but I liked to pretend”, you sigh, waiting for him to say something, anything that could make you stay, but Hyunjin just stares at you in shock and watches as you leave him.
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Comfort Zone
Matt Sturniolo x Reader
masterlist (series)
Preview: Y/n starts the new semester at school. She happens to have the same exact schedule as one guy, Matt Sturniolo. He's known to be a 'bad boy.' Constantly ditching, tattoos, and not giving most people the time of day....but will that apply to you?
WARNINGS: 18+, smut, alcohol, parental abuse/neglect, overall mature themes, and more. (This is made for all parts)
A/N: Reblogs, likes, comments, and interactions are all VERY appreciated!!!
Comment to be added to the taglist!!
CHAPTER 5: Genie In A Bottle
Walking into school felt like being naked on a stage. Matt and I walked to our class with whispers clouding around us like smoke in a fire, suffocating me. I attempted to keep my composure, but overhearing everything made my feet stutter on the ground at an uneven pace. 
“--she must give really good head or something.” 
“Do you think she lost her virginity to him?” 
“She’s not even that pretty. I mean, look at her!” 
Every word was a devastation. I liked being looked over, no one analyzing my every move as if they knew me. Because, they didn’t. Now, that didn’t matter. Everyone was already forming their own perception of me–ones far from the truth. 
“Don’t listen to them, okay?” Matt says. I nod my head silently as we step through the threshold of the classroom. 
I plop down in the plastic chair. I brush my hair down as the static pulls it up to the back of the seat. Looking back towards the front of the classroom, I’m taken aback by the sight in front of me. 
The classroom is still semi-empty, but every seated student is turned around and looking at me. Every single person turns back around quickly once I make eye contact. Except one. 
The guy in front of me, someone on the football team of the school from my vague knowledge. “Hey, I’m Brandon. Heard you knocked up my boy Chris, hm?” He says. I feel my heart plummet in my chest. I’m speechless, not a single word forming in my mind. 
“Brandon,” I hear Matt’s voice spit from beside me. “--turn around and shut the fuck up.” He threatens. I sit frozen in place, my body unwilling to even take a breath of air. The tightness in my chest is impossibly constricting. 
Brandon scoffs, rolling his eyes at Matt before directing his gaze back to me. “Whatever, man.” He grumbles. “Didn’t even know you could talk, to be honest. Does Chris share with you? Does she give good-”
“Don’t talk to him like that.” I grit out from my clenched teeth. Who would want to talk to this idiot anyway? My blood boils as my knuckles crack from clenching my fists. 
“Knew Jeffery called you a bitch for a reason.” He mumbles, turning back around in his seat. I sigh roughly, pulling my elbows up on the table and burrying my head in my hands. My hair creates a shield around me as I focus on the table in front of me. Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. 
I close my eyes, taking a deep breath. A sudden gleam of light catches my attention. I look down, seeing Matt’s hand sliding under my gaze, his phone lighting up in front of me. The glowing screen is opened on the Pokemon-Go game. 
I bring my head up, looking over at him as he gives me a small smile. He looks down at the phone and back up at me. I let my eyes wander back to the screen, tapping on the animated creature. 
_
Before I knew it, the bell signaling the end of the first block had rung. I snap out of my trance, looking over at Matt with his phone in hand. When my eyes shift, I see him already staring directly at me. His head is leaned against his propped-up arm, his whole body shifted inwards towards mine. 
I watch as his cheeks shift to a pink hue, his eyes averting to his backpack on the desk. He pulls out a small pack of gum from his front pocket of his bag, holding out a piece for me. I hesitantly take the piece of gum, unwrapping it and placing the minty wad in my mouth. 
He stands up, putting his hand flat out. I grab his phone, setting it in his hand as he laughs. I look around in confusion. What’s funny? The classroom is pretty much empty besides Mrs. Evans sitting and organizing papers on her desk. 
“Your hand.” He says. I watch as he slides his phone in his sweatshirt pocket, bringing his hand back out. I place my hand in his as he helps me get out from the desk chair. 
“Thanks,” I mumble. I drop his hand, noticing another student walking in for the next class. Looking at the time on my own phone, I notice two things. One, we only have a couple more minutes of passing period. Two, a text notification from my dad that skyrockets my anxiety.  
“You get going, I’ll meet you in class–I’m just gonna head to the bathroom real quick.” I state. He nods his head as we walk down the hallway. Walking up to the restrooms, I see him lean up against the brick wall, pulling out his phone. “You can go to class, I’ll just meet you there.” I suggest. 
He shakes his head, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll wait.” He says. I huff, nodding my head and walking into the bathroom. 
As soon as I walk into a stall, I open my messages. 
[From Dad: Don’t come home until you learn not to touch my shit. I’m fucking trying, you’re making it worse.]
I’m not even just not enough–I make things worse. My eyes become blurry with tears. I stare up at the ceiling, trying to blink the wetness back, failing miserably. The warm liquid darts down my cheek, leaking un-comfortingly into my ear. 
Have I ever even been home? I wish she was here–maybe if she was here then things would be different. Maybe, he wouldn’t always be so bitter. Maybe, he would hug me. Maybe, my heart wouldn’t feel so broken through every single repetitive behavior. 
Why does it still hurt so much? 
I choke back a sob at the sound of the door to the bathroom creaking open. My eyes shut tight as I let out a sigh of pure exhaustion. It’s not even noon. 
“Y/n?” I freeze hearing Matt’s voice. I hear his footsteps pattern against the tile flooring. I watch as his sneakers peek out from underneath the stall door. “--are you okay?” He asks. 
I bite down on my cheek, hard. “Um, yeah-yeah, I’m…I’m okay.” I wince at my poor attempt to conceal the weakness in my voice as it cracks. I’m not weak, please don’t think I’m weak. 
“You’re not a very good liar.” He breathes out. I let out a dry laugh, clearing my cheeks from the wet tears. 
“I know.” I state. I hear him let out a heavy sigh. 
“Let’s just take you home, okay?” He voices. I let my hand fly up to my mouth, but I’m not faster than the cry that leaves my lips. Home. What home? “--hey, hey, hey, we can go back and take Trevor on a walk–or anything you want, okay? Can you come out?” His voice is soft, breathier than normal as if talking with his regular voice would make me break. 
I’m not weak. Am I? I shakily reach out, sliding the metal lock and pulling the door open. I keep my eyes trained to the floor with pure shame. I see his hand reach out, grabbing my own as he pulls me out of the stall. 
I follow his lead out of the bathroom, seeing the empty halls barren of any students. Did the bell already ring? 
_
The car ride back to his house was settled in a comfortable silence. I stared down at the text message on my phone, waiting for the words to not feel as if I was having a knife twisted in my back. But, each time I read over the words–it hurt just as much as the first time, if not worse. 
I see Matt reach over me from the passenger door propped open. When did he even park? He unbuckles my seatbelt, grabbing my backpack and slinging it over his shoulder. I shut off my phone, clenching it in my hand as I step out of the car. I hear the thud behind me as he closes the door. “Come on, Trevor definitely misses you.” He says. 
I squint my eyes at the bright surroundings. The thin layer of snow coating the ground reflects the sunny sky, making everything impossibly bright. Matt holds up his elbow as I let my hand twist around his arm. 
He jiggles his keys in the lock of the front door, scratches from the other side being heard. The door swings open, revealing Trevor, wagging his tail from side to side like a helicopter. “Hi, Trev!” Matt says in the baby-voice. I feel the smile creep onto my face, not being able to contain the joy from the sight before me. 
We both slide off our shoes, leaving them by the door. Matt walks forward with me still attached to his arm. I hear the light paws tapping behind us as we make our way into his room. His blinds are closed, a soft halo of light streaming in through the cracks. I breathe in the air, relaxing at the familiar scent. 
My chest starts to feel lighter. I set down my phone on his desk, running my hands through my hair. Matt plops down our bags, leaning them against his wall as he stands back up, placing his hands on his hips. “So,” he looks around. “--what can I do to make you feel better?” He asks, rubbing his hands together. 
His eyes meet mine as I suck in my bottom lips. “Honestly?” I start, meeting his soft gaze. “--distract me. Please.” 
“Say less, I got you.” He says with a gentle smile. 
_
The car ride had pursued with soft music playing in the back. I could hear him hum, strumming his fingers to the beat on the steering wheel. We had been in the car for quite some time, but stopped as we pulled up outside of a large building. 
I turn to face him as he pulls the keys out of the ignition. “What is this?” He scoffs, laughing dryly under his breath. “Out of my comfort zone, that’s for sure.” He mumbles. The building looks like some sort of fancy apartment complex, shooting up endlessly to the sky with large windows covering it almost entirely. 
I hear Matt’s door shut, watching as he jogs around to my side of the car. I open the door, seeing him pout. I laugh softly, grabbing his outreached hand. “I’m gonna start putting child-lock on.” He says in a completely serious tone. My gut clenches as I lean into him, letting out a chain of giggles as he continues pouting. 
“Yeah, okay.” I tease. I feel him squeeze my hand. “Now, what are we doing here exactly?” I ask. He sighs deeply, biting in his bottom lips. 
“Well,” he opens the front doors, gesturing for me to walk in. I do so, turning around as he reaches out, grabbing my hand back in his grip tighter than before. “I, um…I’m kinda scared of, um, elevators?” He says, his voice sounding higher. 
I nod, looking in front of us to see elevator doors and a bunch of buttons with different numbers to the side. I tug on his hand, but his feet stand in place as he gulps looking directly at the closed elevator doors. I walk back up to him, placing my hand on his chest. “You okay?” I ask. 
He doesn’t look down at me, only shaking his head furiously. I bring my hand up, rubbing his shoulder. His eyes shoot down to mine. “Nevermind, let’s–” I cut him off, tugging his hand along with me as I pressed the highest number button, thirty-two. 
“How about,” I turned back around, seeing his eyes fall down on me. “--we make a deal?” I voice. I see his eyebrows furrow as he starts rubbing along his jaw with his free hand. 
“Deal?” I nod my head, “Yep–anything. Whatever it takes to get you on this elevator, within reason obviously, we’ll make a deal.” I explain. His eyes dart around, his hand now running through his hair that falls perfectly. 
An innocent smile grows on his face. “I have three requests.” I push my head further, urging him to continue. He holds up his pointer finger. “One, you have to make sure I don’t have a panic attack on this death-trap.” He says. 
I laugh, nodding my head. “Got it, what’s your other two wishes for your genie?” I tease. His nose scrunches up as his head turns to the side in embarrassment. 
“Well…” he trails off. “I can’t think right now seeing the floor numbers–oh my god.” He exclaims, his eyes trained on the little screen above the elevator doors that shows the floor number it’s on. 
I pat his chest, “Give me the other two later, hm?” He gulps, nodding his head. I hear the ding sound behind me, turning around to see the elevator doors sliding open. The backside of the elevator is completely glass, the other sides being metal. 
I step in, hearing Matt’s feet drag on the floor before the elevator sinks in gently from the added weight. His grip on my hand becomes almost painful as the doors close. I squeeze his hand in my own, looking up to see him staring at the ceiling. 
“Hey, what’s your favorite color?” I ask. His eyes are shut tightly, his head pointed up to the ceiling. I tug on his hand, drawing his attention. 
“Huh?” He asks, letting out a large huff of air. 
“Your favorite color?” I repeat. He shakes his head, his eyes darting all around the elevator. I feel him start to wobble on his feet, swaying. I grab his shoulder, letting our hands drop. “Hey,” I grab the back of his neck, forcing him to look down instead of up at the mirror ceiling. “Look at me, Matt.”
His ocean eyes gleam down at me, glossed over with fear. I bring my hands up, cupping his face as his hands clasp around my forearms. “What’s your favorite color?” I repeat. He shakes his head, shutting his eyes tightly. “Matt, look at me, come on.” I plead. 
His breaths come out more uneven. I feel my heart clench at the sight of his face twisting in discomfort. I reach my hand up, running my nails along his scalp. He lets out a heavy breath, leaning into my touch. He winces at the sound of the elevator beeping from going up another floor. “Do you want to get off, Matt? I can press a button right now, this can all be over.” I voice softly.
His head falls forward, his silky hair covering his eyes. “No,” he whispers, looking back up at me. “--I just need you to distract me, but I can’t think.” He looks around, whipping his head back at me as he accidentally gazes out the glass pane wall. “I…I don’t even know what my favorite color is right now, I can’t think, I can’t think.” He mumbles. 
My eyes fall on his lips, my hands falling to rest on his shoulders. “Matt?” His eyes flicker to mine, his face relaxing as I stand up on my tip-toes, leaning closer. I feel his breath fan across my face, his eyes trailing down and back up from my lips to my eyes. 
“Please.” He says. I close the distance between us, his hands holding either side of my waist securely. His lips move against mine passionately. He leans down, pushing his lips harder against mine. I stumble back from the sudden change of balance. He pulls my waist closer to his front side. I take a couple steps back, following his lead as I feel my back press against the cold steel wall. 
He pulls away from my lips. I take a large gasp of air, my arms looping around his neck to hold myself up. He sucks in a breath, not hesitating before placing his lips back onto mine. A fiery heat swells in my body, tingles fluttering in my chest and stomach as I let his tongue dart into my mouth. 
Our lips fit together in perfect sync, dancing like choreography imprinted in our minds. His hands squeeze around my waist, pulling me impossibly closer. I hear a loud ring. We separate breathlessly as he rests his forehead against mine. I look up, meeting his eyes that are squinted from a soft smile. 
I attempt to catch my breath as the elevator doors start to slowly glide open. I blush, letting my hands fall as a elderly lady walks in the elevator. “Hello.” She greets with a gentle voice. I wave back as Matt tugs my hand. 
I walk in tow of Matt, watching as the lady laughs to herself as the doors close. As soon as the doors to the elevator close, I direct my attention to Matt. “Are we taking the stairs now?” I tease. He shakes his head, reaching out behind me. 
“Nope,” he says, retracting his hand with a smile. I turn around, seeing a glowing elevator button on the main floor level. I turn back to him, raising my eyebrows with a smile. 
“Trying to get me alone again?” I hear the elevator ping from behind us. His hands rest on my waist, back me into the empty elevator. He pressed me against the glass pane as I heard the doors shut. 
“Honestly?” He says, moving the hair from my neck and gleaming down at me. “Yeah.” He states, crashing his lips back onto mine.
I tangle my hand in the back of his hair, tugging slightly at the root. He groans against my mouth, the vibration shooting tingles through my entire body. His hands squeeze up and down my waist, landing on my hips. He tugs me by the hips closer to him, making my body slouch on the glass wall. 
He looks down at me with a smile. “Best,” he lands a kiss on my cheek. “--distraction,” his lips trail down my neck, leaving a wet kiss. “--ever.” he says. His lips trail up, making me shiver as they brush against my ear. I feel his teeth gently tug on the sensitive lobe, the hairs on my neck standing straight up. 
“How do you feel about elevators now, hm?” I tease. 
“Fucking love 'em,” he mumbles, trailing his hands up and down my sides. 
_
The elevator ride had ended with sore lips and flushed cheeks. We had driven back to the house, settling on his backyard swinging sofa. We sat in the familiar position, my bent knees over his lap as he let his hands massage my calves. 
The birds chirped happily as the sun loomed over us. I let the warmth sink into my skin, appreciating the moment. “What’s our other two wishes, hm? Aren’t I your genie?” I recall. I tilt my head down, watching him laugh softly. 
“Yeah…” he trails off, scratching at his stubble on his jaw. “Hmm….oh!” He looks over at me with a proud smirk. “My second wish is for you to go on an official date with me.” He requests. I feel the anxiety bubble in my stomach from the excitement of his words. 
“M-kay.” I responded. I feel an itch on my forearm, reaching under my sleeve to scratch the area. My fingers rub against the skin, my nails softly grazing my forearm. I feel a bump, the bump from my scar. Dad. “Hey, Matt?” I voice. I hear him hum in response, looking at me as I gulp loudly. “Can I–can I sleep over tonight?” I ask. The nerves rack down my body, my eyes starting to feel watery. I have nowhere else to go.
His lips tug up into a smile. “That was gonna be my third wish, of course.” He says. I feel my cheeks heat up as I look back up at the bright blue sky. My favorite color of blue, pale and soft. 
“What is your favorite color?” I ask, repeating the question from earlier.
“Blue.” He says. I look down at him with a smile, “Me too.” 
_
We had sun bathed in silence until Nick and Chris came home. When the two boys entered the household, they immediately brought ideas of what to do. We had settled on playing video games, Fortnite in specific. I had watched as Matt pressed the remote in his hand aggressively, cursing at the screen when bullets and explosions sounded. 
“You think you’re ready to give it a shot?” He asks. I shrug my shoulders while sitting on the edge of the bed. 
“I don’t really understand it–I have no idea what I’m doing.” I say.
He takes his headset off, placing it over my ear and onto my head. He adjusted it, making one ear uncovered. “I’ll help you, come here.” He directs. I stand by the monitor, crouching down as he types on the keyboard. 
I turn around, hearing him clear his throat. His hands grip me from behind on my hips. “Is this okay?” He asks, looking down at his lap. I blush, nodding softly. I feel him tug me onto his lap, his arms enveloping around my own. “Comfortable?” He asks, his breath fanning on the side of my head. 
My insides feel as if they are burning with excitement as I hum in response. He laughs gently, caressing my cheek. “You’re so cute.” he compliments. I feel my eyes widen as I scrunch my nose. 
“Shut up.” I whine. He dryly laughs at this, mumbling under his breath. 
“Okay, so,” he brings his hands over mine, making my fingers twitch on the controller. The character starts moving as I hear Chris and Nick through the headset, cursing and arguing. Matt reaches up, pulling me closer to his chest as he hits the soundboard on the keyboard. “I can hear them, sorry that they’re so loud.” He says. 
“Anyhow,” he shifts, guiding my actions as I begin to understand how to move the character.
_
The streams of sunlight had faded peering in from his blinds. I was still situated in his lap, but playing Club Penguin. He could tell when I had started to get stressed out from the overwhelming game, switching it and teaching me the cartoon penguin one. 
“I can’t believe you’ve never played this before! I would’ve assumed you have–especially given that your favorite animal is a penguin.” He says. I feel his chest shake with laughter from behind me. 
“DINNER!” I hear Chris shout. Matt taps my thigh as I get up from his lap. I feel my head get light, becoming dizzy as I sway on my feet. 
“Hey,” he grabs my hips, pulling me against his chest as he stands. “--you okay?” He asks. I nod my head lazily, regaining full vision as my body adjusts. 
“Just dizzy.” I remark. 
“Here, let’s go eat. I know my mom will be happy that you’re here.” He says. She’ll be happy that I’m here? The statement makes my heart fill with warmth as my lips turn upward. 
We make our way out to the kitchen, the aroma of food filling my nostrils. Homemade food. An actual meal. 
“Ah! Y/N! I was hoping I’d see you around soon! I made meatballs–the boy's favorite!” Marylou exclaims. I smile at her excitement. She sets down the pan in the middle of the counter, a stack of plates next to it. She wipes her hands off on each other, walking over to me with open arms. 
I laugh as she squeezes me in a tight hug. “Mom, don’t hurt her.” Matt says. I let myself fall more relaxed in Marylou's embrace as she loosened her grips slightly. 
“I’ll get the baby pictures out.” She threatens. My eyes darted to Matt’s, seeing him wide-eyed. He holds his hands up in defense. 
“Nevermind, I’ll shut up.” He says. Marylou pulls me back, even tighter. “Jokes on him–I’m showing you anyway.” she whispers loudly. I hear Matt groan from beside me, burying his face in his hands. 
_
Marylou was not kidding. We had eaten dinner, mostly Chris yapping about random things. The meatballs were heavenly–a family recipe that Marylou was happily offering to me. His father still hadn’t come home, caught up in some type of work apparently. 
We all made our way over to the living room sofa. Chris and Nick sat on one side of the ‘L’ sofa, while I sat between Marylou and Matt on the other side. She had a scrapbook in her lap, pointing at pictures of the young triplets. 
“How did you tell them all apart?” I ask. 
“Well,” she points to Chris. “--he has a birthmark on his back. Nick had always been a bit bigger, too.” Nick's lips tug into a straight line.
“What a lovely reminder.” He sarcastically remarks. 
Matt leans, placing his elbows on his knees. “Y/n has a birthmark too.” He says. Marylou looks over at me as I pull my hair to the side. “It looks like a smiley face, see!” He explains, his fingertip touching gently on my neck. 
“Oh! That’s adorable! Chris’s is just a blob.” She states, completely serious. I look over, seeing Chris throw his hands in the air. I laugh at his offense, Marylou turning over her shoulder to look at him. “--but he has such a cute smile! They all do!” She compliments. Nick softly shuts his eyes, shaking his head from left to right. 
“Mom.” They all whine in sync. 
“Do you have any baby pictures of yourself?” She asks. I shrug my shoulders. Did I? 
“I think I might, hold on, I’ll go check my phone.” I get up from the couch, grabbing my phone off the counter. It’s almost ten, no notifications from my dad. I huff in disappointment, opening my near-empty camera roll. I smile, seeing a picture of me as a toddler. 
The picture is sometime before I was ten. It was me, holding my moms hand. My mom was standing outside with me, we had just gotten back from a walk around the block. Her beanie on her head covered her thinning hair. She didn’t even look sick except for her deathly pale skin. 
Mrs. Evans had taken the picture. It was back when she used to teach at my elementary school in the next town over. She had sent me the picture out of the blue as soon as I had arrived in Somerville. She had asked to meet up, which I had initially ignored. But, when she told me she had something she wanted to give to me that belonged to my mom, I couldn’t refuse. 
It was my baby blanket, the one my mom had hand-knitted while laying in a hospital bed on bed-rest. She had been bored out of her mind. She had kept knitting, undoing the same ball of yarn to preserve material because we didn't have the money to buy more.
I watched her give up, her hands too weak to hold grip on the knitting-needle. 
“Actually,” I sat back down, Matt’s arm wrapping around me. “--this is the only one I have.” They both lean, looking at the picture displayed on my phone screen. 
“Oh…?” Marylou voices. Her tone grabs my attention, but Chris is quick to interrupt my thoughts. 
“You only have one picture on your phone? How!” Chris exclaims. I feel my body go rigid. It’s the only picture I have at all. Matt’s arm that rests behind me curls, his hand rubbing on my shoulder. I let myself sink into his hold, letting out a soft sigh. 
“You were just the cutest, huh?” Marylou says. I hum, not trusting my voice. I feel the cushion move from beneath me, watching as Matt stands up. He holds out a hand. 
“Yeah, now, if you’ll excuse us–I don’t need her seeing us naked in a bathtub together. Goodnight everyone.” He says. Marylou laughs, giving me a wave with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 
“Goodnight.” They all chime. 
Matt pulls me up, holding my hand by his side. His feet slap on the ground softly as I follow his lead. He closes his bedroom door behind us. “Are you okay?” He asks. I nod my head, still unsure of my own voice. 
“Come on, wanna borrow some clothes?” He asks. I look down at my body, looking back up at him as a smile clouds his face. “--well, more.” He laughs. 
I shake my head, letting out a dry giggle. “I’m stealing your whole closet at this point.” I reason. He shrugs, rummaging through the clothes before yanking out numerous pieces of clothing.
“You look good in my clothes.” He points out. I feel my ears heat up as I let my eyes fall to my lap. “Here, a clean sweatshirt. I might ask if Nick has any bottoms for you–Madi sleeps over a lot, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.” He walks out of the room, leaving me with my thoughts and the sweatshirt. 
I greedily bring my hands down to the material, appreciating the soft material. It’s green, having stars embroidered on it. I look at the logo, seeing a price marked on it. 
$325
My eyes bulge out, dropping the sweatshirt on the bed as if it was poison ivy. I hear the wooden floors creek, footsteps seeming closer and closer. 
Matt walks through the door, tilting his head in confusion. He lets out a nervous laugh. “You good there?” I stand frozen, my mouth running dry. I shake my head. Matt walks over, setting a pair of PJ pants down on the bed. I feel the weight of the bed dip to my side, his arm curling around me. “What’s up–talk to me.” He urges. 
I bury my face in my hands, embarrassed beyond belief. “Can I just have a different sweatshirt?” I ask. He nods, walking over and flipping through hangers. 
“Do you not like that one? It’s one of my favorites.” He says, peeping over his shoulder to look at me. 
I shake my head furiously. “No,” I let my eyes falter to the green sweatshirt. I look over the fabric, scared I may have even left a fingerprint. “--it’s not that I don’t like it. It’s just…” I look back up at him to see him now facing me completely, a confused expression painted on his face. 
“It’s just…” He repeats. He walks closer. I watch as his feet plant right in front of my own. I let my eyes wander up to his, seeing him standing in front of me. His face holds a quick sympathetic smile. 
I let out a sigh, running my clammy hands over my thighs. “It’s just, I don’t even think I’ve ever held something worth three hundred dollars. Let alone–wear it.” And the fact that it’s his favorite weighed heavily on my subconscious. 
HIs hand pets down the side of my head, lifting me up by the chin. My eyes meet his, a soft smile apparent on his lips. “I want you to wear it.” I open my mouth to reason with him. He stops me by giving me a warning look. “--wear it for me, okay? I trust you. Plus, it’s just a hoodie.” He says. 
Yeah, a hoodie worth more than anything I own. 
I feel his warm hand caress my jaw. His thumb reaches up, dragging my bottom lip down as he stares into me with an unreadable gaze. His thumb glides down, my lip revolting back to its usual position. I nod my head, hypnotized by his pale eyes. 
He reaches over, setting something in my lap. “I’ll be back, I’m gonna go talk to my mom real quick. Do you need anything?” I shake my head. “--alright, I’ll be back in a couple minutes. Don’t miss me too much.” He remarks. 
I roll my eyes, making him laugh. He walks out the door, shutting it softly behind him. I look down, grasping the green hoodie carefully in my hands. I strip from his clothes I had been wearing, leaving myself in just my underwear. 
My eyes wander up, catching my own figure changing in his mirror leaned against the wall. I stand still, analyzing myself. Although I didn’t get to eat very much–I wasn’t very thin. It was as if my body learned to preserve any fat possible. I was grateful for it, it made everything not so obvious. 
I looked like a regular person. My hands wander over my semi-dry skin. I hadn’t even remembered the last time I was able to just go out and buy lotion. My skin has always been sensitive, especially in the dry winter. Everytime my nails scratched over my skin, a red mark identical to the path scratched appeared almost instantaneously. 
I pull the soft, heavy hoodie over my head. It drowns my entire arm, covering my hands. The waist of it falls slightly above mid-thigh. I pull the pants on, fitting them nearly perfect to my body. When’s the last time I had clothes that fit? 
All my clothes were baggy. Partly because of how worn down they had become over the years. Also because it was a lot of my dads old clothes. I refused to steal–my anxiety simply wouldn’t allow it. However, I would often wander to the lost-and-found at my previous school, picking up an item if I needed it and it sat longer than a week with no owner claiming it. 
I fold the clothes I had previously been wearing, setting them neatly on the nightstand. While setting them down, I hear a clank. Fuck, his cologne. 
Immense panic devastates my entire body. I whip my head, seeing the cologne bottle on the floor, seemingly in one piece. A knock sounds at the door, “Are ya decent?” Matt says, heavy with his boston-accent. 
My heart feels like it’s pulsing out of my chest. I reach over, seeing no cracks in the glass and sighing with relief. I place the bottle back in its original spot. “Yeah.” I answer. 
The door props open, Matt walking in and shutting it behind him. “Are you okay? I heard something–did you fall?” He asks. He walks over to his bathroom as I watch him from the edge of the bed. 
“Yeah, I’m all good. I accidentally knocked over your cologne–but it’s okay! It didn’t break! I am sorry for being so klutzy though.” I voice. He turns around, holding out a toothbrush to me with toothpaste on it. I take it, scrubbing my teeth as he does the same. 
He stops for a minute. “You’re fine, I like that you’re so clumsy.” He winks, continuing to brush his teeth. I blush, spitting in the sink and holding the toothbrush cluelessly. He rines his brush, placing it in the cup next to the faucet. Taking the brush from my hand, he does the same thing. 
I smile looking at his blue toothbrush next to my green one. I look over, seeing him smiling at me. A blush crawls onto my face as I quickly turn back to his bed. I plop down on his comforter, getting under the soft duvet. I pause, “Oh wait, what side do you sleep on?” I ask. 
He’s already laying down on the other side of the bed, placing a folded arm behind his head. His eyes are shut, but he slightly opens one. “I don’t care which side unless you do.” He says. I shake my head with a nervous smile, snuggling into the sheets further. 
I turn on my side, my back facing him as I curl into the pillow with my arms. The warmth curiates around me. “Actually,” I hear him shuffle, my body falling back as the mattress leans from weight. His arm wraps around my waist, pulling me to his chest. “--I want whatever side you're on–if that’s okay with you.” 
I nod my head. I feel him nuzzle his face into the crook of my neck. Shivers run from the bottom of my feet to the top of my spine. I let his body heat warm me up further, appreciating every ounce of warmth that my body desperately craved. 
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Heartbroken
TW: loss of pregnancy, depression
January 9th, 2021
Paige sat at the kitchen table in their cozy West Village apartment, her textbooks spread out in front of her as she nervously plays with her sliver wedding band of her finger, a symbol of the promise of forever she made to Jack nearly two years before. Lizzy, her faithful golden retriever, lay at her feet, keeping her company as she studied. Jack gone for the week again off to California for a string of games. Despite the warm sunlight streaming in through the window, Paige felt a wave of nausea wash over her.
She sighed, pushing her books aside. "I can't concentrate. Lizzy, do you think I should take that test?"
Lizzy raised her head, her eyes filled with concern as she let out a soft whine. Paige smiled weakly, scratching behind her ears. "I guess that's a yes."
With a deep breath, Paige stood up and walked to the bathroom taking the test out of the top drawer , taking the test. As she waited for the result, her mind raced with thoughts of what it could mean. She wasn’t ready motherhood she was in the middle of her college studies getting ready for her first internship with a special needs school. She thought of Jack he definitely wasn’t ready, his career just starting and that’s all he seems to care about lately. She didn’t know what she would do if it were positive. When the timer beeped, she hesitated before picking up the test.
Positive.
Paige's heart sank. She wasn't ready for this. She paced back and forth, trying to make sense of it all, Paige kept thinking to herself why they weren’t more careful, they were young and spontaneous of course this happened. As she thought to herself she heard the front door open, Jack walking in, his hockey bag slung over his shoulder, after a long week.
"Hey, babe, I'm home!" Jack called out, his voice full of cheer. Lizzy wags her tail excited to see her dad home.
“Hey, girl did you miss me?”. Jack asks Lizzie, Lizzie continues to want belly rubs.
Paige bit her lip, unsure of how to break the news to the man she loved so much. She walked slowly to the living room, where Jack was taking off his shoes.God, she thought, he always looks so gorgeous.
"Hey, Jack," Paige said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Jack looked up, noticing the somber tone in her voice. "Is everything okay?"
Paige took a deep breath, steeling herself for his reaction she knew she had to tell him she could never hide anything from him, he knew her too well. "I... I took a test. And it's positive."
Jack's smile faded, replaced by a look of shock. "Positive? You mean..."
Paige nodded, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm pregnant, Jack."
For a moment, there was silence as Jack processed the news. Then, without a word, he turned and walked to the window, staring out at the city skyline. Paige watched him, her heart breaking at his reaction. He was always the one suppose to calm her down tell her everyone will be ok, and know he couldn’t get a word out.
Finally, Jack turned back to her, his expression unreadable. "This... This is a lot, Paige. I don't know if I'm ready for this."
Paige felt a surge of anger. "You don't know if you're ready? What about me? I'm the one who's pregnant!"
Jack ran a hand through his hair, looking frustrated. "I know, I know. I just... I didn't expect this. We're so young, Paige. We have our whole lives ahead of us."
Paige felt a lump form in her throat. "So, what are you saying? Do you want me to... to get rid of it?"
Jack shook his head quickly. "No, no, of course not. I just... I need some time to process this, Paige. Can you give me that?"
Paige felt her anger dissipate, replaced by a deep sadness. "Okay, Jack. I understand."
ack walked over to her, taking her hands in his. "I love you, Paige. And I love our life together. I just need to figure out how this... how this baby fits into it."
Paige nodded, wiping away her tears. "I love you too, Jack. We'll figure this out together, okay?"
They hugged, holding each other tightly, both unsure of what the future held but determined to face it together.
February 27th, 2021
Jack shifted uncomfortably beside her, sensing the judgmental stares. He squeezed her hand reassuringly, offering a small smile. "It's okay, Paige. Let them stare. We know how much we love each other and our baby."
Paige smiled back, grateful for his support. They were called into the ultrasound room, where a technician greeted them warmly. Paige lay back on the exam table, and Jack stood by her side, holding her hand tightly.
As the technician began the ultrasound, Paige felt a rush of emotion seeing their baby on the screen, a tiny, flickering heartbeat confirming their child's existence. Jack's eyes widened in amazement, his initial embarrassment melting away into wonder and awe.
The technician moved the wand over Paige's belly, capturing images of their baby from different angles. Finally, she announced, "Would you like to know the gender?"
Paige and Jack looked at each other, excitement bubbling up inside them. "Yes, please!" Paige replied eagerly.
The technician smiled and pointed to the screen. "Congratulations, it's a girl!"
Tears welled up in Paige's eyes as Jack grinned from ear to ear. They were having a daughter, a precious little girl to cherish and love. The room was filled with joy as they watched their baby squirming and kicking on the screen, a tangible reminder of the love they shared and the family they were building together.
As they left the hospital, hand in hand, Paige felt a sense of peace and contentment. Despite the challenges ahead, she knew that with Jack by her side, they could handle anything that came their way.
May 17th, 2021
Paige stood in the nursery, a smile on her face as she surveyed her handiwork. The walls were painted a soft shade of blue, with fluffy clouds adorning the ceiling. A white crib sat in one corner, surrounded by shelves filled with books and toys. Everything was perfect, just as she had imagined it.
Jack came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "It's beautiful, Paige. She is going to love it."
Paige leaned back into his embrace, feeling grateful for this moment of happiness. They had been through so much already, but they had come out stronger on the other side.
Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through Paige's abdomen, causing her to cry out in alarm. Jack's face turned white with fear as he helped her to the bed. The pain was intense, unlike anything Paige had ever felt before.
"We need to get to the hospital," Jack said, his voice trembling.
Paige nodded, trying to stay calm despite the fear coursing through her. They quickly gathered their things and headed to the hospital, where Paige was rushed to the emergency room.
Doctors and nurses swarmed around her, asking questions and running tests. Paige could hear snippets of their conversation, words like "emergency surgery" and "risk to the baby" floating in and out of her consciousness.
Finally, a doctor approached them with a grim expression on his face. "I'm sorry, but we need to perform emergency surgery. There's a problem that's impacting the baby, and we need to act fast."
Paige felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. She was only halfway through her pregnancy, and yet she was about to lose her baby. Tears streamed down her face as she clung to Jack's hand, seeking comfort in his touch.
The hospital corridor was bustling with activity as Jack paced back and forth, his heart pounding in his chest. He had been waiting for hours, his mind consumed with worry for Paige. She was in surgery, fighting for her life, and the life of their unborn child.
Jack sank into a chair, his head in his hands. He couldn't bear the thought of losing Paige. She was his everything, his reason for living. From the moment he had met her in kindergarten, he had known she was special. And now, as they faced the greatest challenge of their lives, he was determined to be there for her, no matter what.
Hours passed, but Jack refused to leave. He was a man possessed, his only thought to be by Paige's side when she woke up. The nurses tried to coax him away, but he shook his head resolutely. He would not leave until he knew she was okay.
Finally, the door to the surgical unit opened, and the doctor emerged, his face grave. Jack stood up, his heart in his throat.
"How is she? Is she okay?" he asked, his voice trembling.
The doctor sighed, his expression sympathetic. "The surgery was successful, but Paige is still in critical condition. We did everything we could for the baby, but..."
Jack's heart sank. He knew what the doctor was going to say, but it didn't make it any easier to hear.
“I'm sorry, Jack. We were unable to save the baby," the doctor said softly.
Tears welled up in Jack's eyes as he tried to process the news. They had lost their daughter, the little girl they had already begun to love and cherish. It was a loss that would stay with them forever.
Jack stood outside Paige's hospital room, a bouquet of peonies in his hand. He knew they were her favorite flowers, a small comfort in the midst of such tragedy. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the difficult conversation that lay ahead.
As he entered the room, Paige looked up, a weak smile on her face. "Jack, you're here."
Jack forced a smile, his heart breaking at the sight of her. She looked so fragile, so vulnerable. He walked over to her bedside, placing the flowers on the table beside her.
"I brought these for you," he said softly. "I know how much you love peonies”.
Paige's smile faded as she looked at him, concern in her eyes. "Jack, what's wrong? Why do you look so sad?"
Jack took a seat beside her, taking her hand in his. "Paige, there's something I need to tell you. It's about the surgery..."
Paige's eyes widened in alarm. "What about the surgery? Is everything okay?"
Jack hesitated, the words catching in his throat. "Paige, I... I'm so sorry. We lost the baby."
Paige's hand flew to her mouth, her eyes filling with tears. "No, no, that can't be true. Our baby..."
Jack nodded, tears streaming down his own face. "I'm so sorry, Paige. The doctors did everything they could, but... but it wasn't enough. Our baby... she's gone."
Paige sobbed, her body shaking with grief. Jack wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she cried. He felt helpless, unable to ease her pain, unable to bring their baby back.
After what seemed like an eternity, Paige's sobs subsided. She looked up at Jack, her eyes red and swollen. "Why, Jack? Why did this happen to us?"
Jack shook his head, his own voice choked with emotion. "I don't know, Paige. I wish I had answers, but I don't. All I know is that I love you, and I'm here for you, no matter what.
May 21st, 2021
Paige sat in the nursery, surrounded by the remnants of her shattered dreams. The once cheerful room now felt oppressive, suffocating her with its silent emptiness. Lizzy lay at her feet, sensing her owner's distress and offering silent comfort.
Jack entered the room, his face a mask of forced cheerfulness. "Hey, Paige, how are you feeling today?"
Paige felt a surge of anger rise within her. How could he act like everything was normal? How could he not see the devastation that lay before them?
"How am I feeling?" Paige exclaimed, her voice rising with each word. "How do you think I'm feeling, Jack? I just lost our baby, and you're here acting like nothing happened!"
Jack's smile faltered, his eyes betraying the pain he tried so hard to hide. "I... I'm just trying to be strong for you, Paige. I thought maybe if I acted like things were normal, it would help."
Paige shook her head, tears streaming down her face. "Normal? How can anything be normal after what we've been through? You think you're the only one hurting, Jack? You think I'm not grieving too?"
Jack took a step back, his own eyes filling with tears. "I know you're hurting, Paige. I know I can never understand what you're going through. But I'm trying, okay? I'm trying to be here for you in the only way I know how."
Paige's anger boiled over. "Trying? Is that all you can do, Jack? Try? Our daughter is gone, and all you can do is try? You weren't going to be there for her, Jack. You were going to be a distant father, always away with hockey. You already leave me alone, and now you've left me to grieve alone too."
Jack's shoulders slumped, the weight of Paige's words crushing him. "I'm sorry, Paige. I'm so sorry."
Paige wiped away her tears, her voice filled with bitterness. "Sorry isn't going to bring her back, Jack. Sorry isn't going to change anything."
Without another word, Jack turned and left the room, leaving Paige alone with her grief. She sank to the floor, her body wracked with sobs. All she wanted was to be alone, to mourn the loss of her daughter in peace.
Ellen Jacks mother knocked on the door of Jack and Paige's apartment, a smile on her face and a bag of gifts in her hand. She was excited to see Paige, to spoil her first grandchild with love and presents. But when Jack answered the door, she could see the sadness in his eyes, the weight of grief pressing down on him.
"Jack, dear, where's Paige? I brought some things for the baby," Ellen said, stepping inside.
Jack hesitated, his voice barely above a whisper. "Paige... Paige can't see you right now, Mom."
Ellen's smile faltered, confusion and concern crossing her face. "Why? What's wrong, Jack? Is Paige okay?"
Jack led his mother into the living room, where they sat down on the couch. "Paige had surgery, Mom. She... she lost the baby.". She... she hates me. She blames me for everything."
Ellen reached out, taking Jack's hand in hers. "Oh, Jack, this isn't your fault. You both must be going through so much right now. I can't imagine what you're feeling."
Jack wiped away his tears, his voice breaking. "I just don't know what to do, Mom. I feel so lost, so helpless. I... I don't know how to help Paige, how to comfort her."
Ellen squeezed his hand, her heart aching for her son and his wife. "Jack, sometimes all you can do is be there for her. Let her know that you love her, that you're there to support her in any way she needs."
Jack nodded, taking a deep breath. "I'll try, Mom. I'll try to be strong for her, to be the husband she needs me to be."
Ellen smiled, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "That's all you can do, Jack. Just be there for her, and everything will be okay."
Ellen knocked gently on the nursery door, where Paige had been spending most of her time since coming home from the hospital. She heard a soft sniffle from inside before Paige called out, "Come in."
Ellen entered the room, her heart breaking at the sight of Paige sitting on the floor, surrounded by baby clothes and toys. Lizzy lay beside her, nuzzling her hand in silent comfort.
"Paige, dear, how are you holding up?" Ellen asked, sitting down beside her.
Paige looked up, her eyes red and puffy from crying. "I'm trying to be strong, Ellen. I really am. But it's so hard."
Ellen nodded, placing a comforting hand on Paige's shoulder. "I know, dear. I know. Losing a child is the hardest thing anyone can go through."
Paige wiped away her tears, her voice barely above a whisper. "I just don't know how to grieve, Ellen. I don't know how to move on from this."
Ellen took Paige's hands in hers, looking into her eyes with compassion. "Grieving is different for everyone, Paige. There's no right or wrong way to do it. You just have to let yourself feel whatever you're feeling, whether it's sadness, anger, or guilt."
Paige nodded, her shoulders shaking with sobs. "I feel so guilty, Ellen. I keep thinking about all the things I should have done differently, all the things I should have said."
Ellen squeezed Paige's hands, her voice gentle. "Paige, listen to me. This is not your fault. You did nothing wrong. Sometimes, things happen that are beyond our control. All we can do is try to find a way to cope, to heal."
Paige took a deep breath, trying to calm her racing thoughts. "I just wish I could turn back time, Ellen. I wish I could have my baby back."
Ellen wrapped her arms around Paige, holding her close. "I know, dear. I know. But we can't change the past. All we can do is cherish the memories we have and find a way to honor the life that was lost."
After a moment, Paige pulled away, a look of realization dawning on her face. "You're right, Ellen. I need to find a way to honor my daughter, to remember her in a positive way."
Ellen smiled, proud of the strength she saw in Paige. "That's the spirit, dear. And remember, you're not alone in this. Jack is hurting too. He loves you so much, Paige. He's loved you since you were kids."
Paige nodded, tears streaming down her face. "I know, Ellen. I know. But I was pretty mean to him. I pushed him away when all he wanted was to help me."
Ellen reached out, wiping away Paige's tears. "Paige, dear, Jack understands. He knows you're grieving, and he knows it's not easy for you. He just wants to be there for you, to support you in any way he can."
Paige nodded, a sense of peace washing over her. "Thank you, Ellen. Thank you for being here for me, for helping me through this."
Ellen hugged Paige tightly, feeling grateful for the bond they shared. Together, they would find a way to heal, to move forward from the tragedy that had befallen them.
Later that night, Paige stood in the doorway of their bedroom, watching as Jack sat alone, reading a history book. She took a deep breath, steeling herself for the conversation that lay ahead. She walked over to him, her heart heavy with grief.
"Jack, I need you," she said softly.
Jack looked up, setting his book aside as he saw the tears in Paige's eyes. He stood up, pulling her into his arms as they both began to cry. They held each other tightly, sharing their pain and grief in silent solidarity.
After a few minutes, they sat down on the bed, still holding hands. Jack spoke first, his voice choked with emotion. "I was thinking of naming her Georgia. Georgia Rose. I thought it was a beautiful name for our daughter."
Paige nodded, tears streaming down her face. "Georgia Rose. I love that name, Jack. It's perfect."
Jack wiped away a tear from Paige's cheek. "I had so many dreams for us, Paige. I imagined us watching her grow up, teaching her how to ride a bike, cheering her on at her soccer games. I wanted to give her the world."
Paige cried even harder, the weight of their loss crashing down on her. "I know, Jack. I had so many dreams too. I wanted to hold her in my arms, to sing her lullabies, to see her smile for the first time."
Jack reached out, taking Paige's hand in his. He looked at the beaded bracelet on her wrist, a symbol of their childhood promise of forever. He then looked at her wedding ring, a tangible reminder of his love for her.
"In everything we have each other, Paige. Always," Jack said, his voice filled with determination. "I'll never leave your side, no matter what."
Paige looked into Jack's eyes, seeing the love and devotion shining back at her. She felt a glimmer of hope, a belief that they would find a way to move forward together.
"Do you think we will have children one day?" Paige asked, her voice barely a whisper.
Jack smiled through his tears, a sense of peace settling over him. "I believe we will, Paige. I believe that one day, we will have a family of our own. And until then, we have each other."
They sat together in silence, finding comfort in each other's presence. They knew that their road ahead would be difficult, filled with challenges and obstacles. But as long as they had each other, they knew they could face anything that came their way.
May 17th,2024
 The hospital room was filled with soft light as Paige cradled her newborn daughter, Lila Grace, in her arms. The baby was wrapped in a soft blanket, her tiny hands grasping at the air as she let out little coos and gurgles. Paige couldn't help but marvel at the beauty of her daughter, with her little blonde hairs and ocean blue eyes.
"She's perfect, Jack," Paige whispered, tears of joy streaming down her face.
Jack stood by Paige's side, his eyes filled with awe and wonder as he looked at his daughter. "She's more than perfect, Paige. She's a miracle."
Paige gently rocked Lila Grace, humming a lullaby as she marveled at the precious life they had created together. She couldn't believe that after everything they had been through, they were finally holding their daughter in their arms.
"I love you, Lila Grace," Paige whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to the baby's forehead.
Jack wrapped his arm around Paige, pulling her close as they watched their daughter together. "She's going to be so loved, Paige. We're going to give her the world."
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my own alastor headcanons…
warnings: discussion and mention of abuse, hell, killing, racism
note: i am also getting through my asks. i promise. ☺️
second note: these are just my own head canons. things i’ve noticed, how i write alastor, what plays into why i write al the way i do… etc. purely my own opinion.
- you know the whole thing hurt people, hurt people… at the core that’s who alastor is.
- he was a mommas boy and loved his mom so much
- his father was abusive, physically, mentally and emotionally
- his father would hit his mother and alastor
- many people turned a blind eye, this taught alastor to never trust anyone and that it’s just you for yourself at a very young age
- finally, alastor was tired of seeing his mother upset and hurt so while his father was asleep he killed him. alastor was 13-15 at the time.
- i believe that alastor’s mom is in heaven
- i also believe that she helped alastor hide the body of his father. in the same bayou that alastor used when he buried his victims
- his mom never knew there was anyone else alastor killed after his father.
- after killing his dad, he started down a slippery slope. he liked the power he felt when he had control over someone’s life or death. it was all in his hands
- but alastor has been said to have a unique moral code
- so i think he would kill any adult, but it was those that were distasteful
- the fathers who were abusive, the men who preyed upon women, the women who tore families apart just because, the mothers who were abusive
- he’s the equal opportunity killer and if you’re a shitty person you were on his radar.
- he got into voodoo to help his mom
- his mom got sick, nothing could cure her, he felt helpless, weak, so he turned to something that could help when praying didn’t. voodoo didn’t help either, but it was already too late… you know what they say about power corrupting you and when you make a deal… they stick
- ladies man, little fucking flirt, charming, suave, disarming. you’d want to take him to meet your momma
- he never married in his human life, chalked up to never finding the right girl.
- no one met his momma when he was alive. like girls just weren’t brought, people just weren’t brought to meet his momma. if you met her through alastor, you were very very special to him
- never happened though!
- he had the most gorgeous southern accent when he was a young man before getting into radio.
- he was told to loose it after the first broadcast. so he adopted the transatlantic accent we hear, to be more palatable to white listeners in the south. i mean, he was given an opportunity of a life time “especially for someone like him.”
- he went to church every sunday with his mom until she died. he’s very very knowledgeable about the bible
- just intelligent over all. likes reading, very meticulous, detail oriented, sharp and quick witted.
- he is deep deep deep down insecure. buried under years of acting like he’s the shit; pretending he’s amazing and the self assured confidence needed to be the radio host he was. this only became buried deeper when he went to hell.
- having someone who is supposed to protect you tear you down when you’re a kid does shit to you. (his dad)
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tired-pigeon789 · 1 day
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A Deeper Understanding
(Astarion X Anemic GNreader)
Notes: this whole fic is based on MY OWN experience with anemia which happened with extreme blood loss and just general low iron. and is VERY self indulgent. I also don't think about Astarion romantically but if you read this fic that way go ahead. I don't blame ya lol. Tav is also gender neutral and not named, there no description of what Tav looks like aside from them at least having shoulder length hair. (I also didn't really re-read this lol so sorry for any mistakes)
word count: 1983
general warnings: lots of mentions of blood and blood loss.
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It was rough, the last encounter took a lot out of all of us and I’m feeling weak even after Shadowheart’s healing and the health potion. Even worse was the blood loss. Dreadful goblin gave me a deep slash and even though it’s patched I’m dizzy and lightheaded. A feeling I’ve grown used to but this is a new extreme. Personally I don’t feel the need to disclose my low iron. Just how often does one need to bring up such a thing? Well, one needs to bring it up when they are being healed I suppose. “If you knew you had this condition, why throw yourself at the main line of fire?” Shadowheart asks while taking my pulse. “I overestimated my abilities, yes, but at least they got me and not Astarion, he gave the final blow to the mage goblin.” I point out while I drink a hot tea while lean against one of support poles in shadowheart’s tent. She simply sighs as I feel her opinion change of me. “You’d be as good as dead if you don’t watch yourself. We already have enough going on.” I simply say ‘I know’ as I thank shadowheart for her help and rest up a bit before I go off and help the others set up camp for the night. We had found a cast iron pot and pan to cook with so at least I’ll be getting what I’m lacking from that. The stew Gale had made for everyone was wonderful and tasteful, and even though I had little to no appetite it helped and I started to feel more alert but sleep is still needed. 
It was dark and late, the moon shines overhead and keeps my eyes closed. I feel weak after everything I’ve been through today but I’m just happy to have a bedroll to lay in. I just can’t sleep. In, out, in, out melt away stress. Breathe in, breathe out. I think this to myself as I try to sleep. I feel as relaxed as I can be but I just can’t slip away into the blissful void of sleep. First the blood loss and now the loss of sleep. There’s simply no winning today it seems. Sighing I open my eyes and gasp as I see Astarion hover over me, Fangs bare, a vampire. Quickly I prop myself up and try to steady myself despite the lightheadness and the massive headache. 
“Shit.” He says as he backs away while I prop myself up on my elbows while I glare at the man “No No- It’s not what it looks like I swear.” “What the hell Astarion!” Glaring at the pale elf I see him look down at me. “I wasn’t going to hurt you I swear, I just needed some blood.” Getting at better at him I see now for what he is. “A vampire, honestly I'm kicking myself for not seeing it sooner.” I say as I try to keep my distance from him. “I’m not some monster,” he says in a desperate voice as he try to find the words to defend himself. “I only drink from animals, Boars, dear... Kobolds, whatever I can get, it’s just, after everything I’m too slow to go out and hunt.” “And you thought the best way to deal with that was to get a drink from me?” Astarion looks taken a back but sighs. “I just need a little blood, so that I may think clearer, and fight better. Just a taste, please.” The way he said please made me hold my breath for a moment. Probably because I know that feeling well. That lightheadedness, the faint lights that plagued my eyes when I walk the need to hold on to anything. It’s helpless feeling, one that I didn’t expect to share with a vampire. 
“So if you drink my blood, you’ll be stronger?” I ask as I try to calm down and think more pragmatically about this offer. “It would benefit us all, but if not I could just hunt a bear or boar out in the woods.” Astaron says plainly. If I do this he’ll be better in combat, but I’m already weak as it is if I don’t sleep or eat something bloody myself. I know what he says is true, it’s basic logic when it comes to vampires. And deep down inside me I feel that understanding, maybe it’s one sided trust but I know if I had a way to rid of this feeling this hunger myself I would. At the end of it I sigh and nod. “Ok, I’ll let you do this, but you have to promise to stop when you have your fill and, you have to keep an eye on me.” Astaron smirks as he kneels in front of me with a look in his eye saying ‘I can’t believe I’m getting away with this.’ And frankly I can’t believe it either. "I promise you have my word. You can trust me” He says. 
Laying back down Astarion hovers over me as he pushes my hair to the side, pulls down the collar of my shirt in a less obvious place to hide whatever mark would come of this, and takes a bite at my shoulder. Hissing in pain I take a deep breath and my hand holds onto his bicep as he drinks from me. The pain melts after a minute but the lightheadedness that I’m used to now feels even more nauseating and I start to push on Astarions shoulder to get him to stop. He stops thankfully but his face doesn’t leave the crook of my neck just yet. I’m shaking and running colder than usual, my breath is faint and I lay my head firmly on the thin pillow underneath. “Your blood, it’s faint. Are you anemic?” I nod as I try to control my breathing. “I know it isn’t a lot, but I don’t think anyone else in our party would’ve let you drink from them.” I say softly as I close my eyes as tiredness finally creeps up on me. “And I’d rather it had been me you drank from than some poor stranger.” “You’re going to be in a long sleep after this, you have nothing to gain from what you just did.” He says as he finally pulls away and looks down on me. “I couldn’t sleep anyway. And you got stronger right? At least a little bit? Surely it’s enough to cover for me tomorrow.” I jest a bit as I continue to shake a bit and cover myself with a blanket. 
“I won’t drink from you again, your blood is very watery.” “Thank you?” I say weakly as I hear Astarion sit himself down next to me. “It’s not a compliment. You need to do something about that.” “Believe me I know. However last I checked I’m not in my cozy apartment in Baldur's Gate, where all my medicine is. I hate feeling like this.” opening my eyes I look over at Astarion as he just simply looks into the fire in front of us keeping us warm. “Be honest, with me” Astarion starts while he keeps his gaze on the fire, “If you knew you had this condition, why did you let me drink from you?” I think again for a moment before I speak.  “Because I know what it feels to be weak from blood, It’s a weird craving and I know it horrible, maybe not in the same way as you but I can make a good guess. I’ll be fine, I’ve like this before.” I can’t move much, my whole body aches and my breathe is shallow as I feel the need to stay awake, it’s not really a fear of death from the Astarion bite but just unease and general paranoia. “Did my blood even do anything for you?” I ask. “Some what, I just didn’t expect the weak taste.” I just let out a small chuckle. “Talking about my blood like one would talk about wine, funny.” “how long had you know about your condtion?” my breath evens out but I still shiver under the blanket as I think about the question. “About a few years now, I figured it wasn’t normal to feel faint everyday.” Astarion hums in understanding as he sits next to me. “I’m surprised you’re still next to me if I can be frank.” I say softly as I look up at Astarion. “Can’t let the others think I killed you in your sleep now can I.” he pauses for a moment before he continues, “I also feel like we’re kindred spirits now in way” “you’re very funny.”
After a moment of silence between us, Astarion speaks up “you ought to sleep, there will be plenty to do when day comes.” I just hum softly while I cover my eyes with my arm “I doubt I’ll be of much use. You guys are going to need to do whatever is needed in my place.” “how long do think you’ll be out?” He asks with some surface level concern. I know he only cares enough about me to make sure I get the tadpoles removed, to how I just became the leader of this strange group I do not know but can understand why Astarion would ask that. I would too if I was him. Sluggishly I pull my arm away from eyes and see Astarion look down at me with slight concern but the arch and furrow brow of his gives away that he really doesn’t want to be next to me. Maybe it’s out of pity or guilt, or perhaps he just want’s to go hunt to get his fill. “I don’t know, but I know I can’t do much of anything tomorrow, I’ll be fine in case you were worried.” I say softly as the sweet void of sleep came creeping up on me, however I felt just as scared as I did when I first woke up in the Nautiloid. I know I won’t die in my sleep. I know I won’t. But the paranoia doesn’t leave me. I need to stay awake. 
Struggling to keep my eyes open Astarion brings his hand over my eyes to close them “Sleep. like I said, I don’t want the rest of the camp thinking I killed you.” “How kind, but you would have though, Had I not woken up.” I say absent mildly. Astarion doesn’t say anything for a minute, not a ‘I would never!’ or a ‘yes I would.’ which in a way is enough of answer to me. I didn’t like that I was right. I feel the fire dies down a bit and I hear him shift the logs and the warmth comes back. “You’re not dead though, so lets not dwell on that.” he says. Almost like a child saying ‘you should be happy that worse case scenario didn’t just happen so you can’t be mad’ the idea almost makes me laugh. “You can still drink from me, only when I’m well of course and you can’t find anything else. I want you at your best.” “Even with your condition and finding out my secret you’d still let me drink from you? You must really not care about your life.” Sleep feels closer as I drift off while trying to the words to say something in response. “I’ll take my chances, I’d rather die bloodless than become a squid. But I’ve also grown to trust you a bit, Despite everything.” “Questionable logic at best my dear.” he chuckles which in turn makes me smile a bit. “Well I’m not in the best state of mind. But I don’t think it will change.” I sigh. “Sleep, I won’t leave-” before Astarion could finish his sentence my mind fades and I do in fact, finally sleep. 
@half-poison-and-half-hope Just for you
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sparklingwaterbabie · 2 years
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A collection of my favourite tweets, thus far, on #SpitGate that I’m putting here for ease for my friends seeing
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omgeto · 7 months
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☆ WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH YOUR EX — GOJO, GETO, TOJI
summary: you have sex with your ex. thats it.
cw: afab!reader, smutty smut smut so mdni. unprotected sex with all of them (since I forget that condoms exist) you sit on geto face, kinda finger fucking & mild hate fucking with toji but its fun, and gojo is just lovely.
an: i was meant to post this last night but I fell asleep writing geto's part so slay. anyways I hope you enjoy lmk what you think!! not proofread so ignore any mistakes please.
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☆ GOJO
“this doesn’t mean we’re back together y’know,” you remind gojo, panting as he thrusts into you.
“you’re really saying that with my dick deep in your cunt,” he taunts, admiring the deep arch of your back, the way your ass ripples every time his hips drive into you. “i’ve missed this.”
“f-fuck keep going,” you moan out, as his dick hits your spot – just how you like it.
“so you don’t miss me?” he pesters, and you roll your eyes, as although you couldn’t see him, you just knew he had a pout on his face. “you really don’t miss me?” he continues his thumb making way to your clit, swiftly flicking at it.
“i don’t miss you.”
gojo pulls out of you almost defiantly, pushing you down – turning you around your back. he stares at you with something you couldn’t quite place, and re enters you just as quickly. he smirks at the way your mouth gapes as his hands roughly grab at your tits, pinching and pulling on your nipples.
“s-someone’s mad,” you egg on, loving the way that his strokes become harder.
“y’know the reason i always loved fucking you this way when we were together?” he asks with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“what’s with the trip down memory lane?,” you complain, your arms come around his neck as you take him in deeper, “i called you to fuck me, not for whatever you’re tryna do here.”
“because i always got to see all the faces you make,” he continues, completely ignoring your comment, his tongue drags up the side of your jaw, before pressing a quick kiss just under your ear. “and the face your making right now, tells me, that you're lying.”
you scoff, but didn’t say anything because you knew he was right. you did miss the way he’d plough into you, the way he knew the ins and outs of your body – how to please you. “im gonna cum,” you whine out, “satoru please i need yo–”
“you can cum when you admit the truth babe,” he teases, his strokes purposefully shift speed, still keeping you writhing underneath him but just not quite enough to get you there. “just say you miss me.”
“fine,” you force out, exasperated, “i m-miss you i do.”
“see wasn’t so hard, was it?” he kisses you deeply, driving deep into you, and you cum with a cry, you did miss being this close with your ex boyfriend. gojo is quick to finish after you, filling you up with all his cum.
he eventually pulls out of you, collapsing down on the bed next to you pulling you into his hold. you, against your better judgement, relaxing into his arms – which goes against all the rules of sleeping with your ex. “this still doesn’t mean we’re back together,” you add, knowing there was very little truth to that.
“yeah, yeah, whatever you say babe,” he smirks, his lips coming down to your forehead, placing a soft kiss, “so what did you miss about me?”
☆ TOJI
“i thought you didn’t spin the block, princess,” toji asks with a shit-eating grin, as his fingers slip inside of you “what happened to, ‘once an ex always an ex huh?” 
“i’ve always hated that nickname,” you mumble, hissing at the contact of toji’s fingers toying with your pussy, “and there are some exceptions to my rule.”
“so you’re little boyfriends not hitting it right then,” toji grins, pleased at hearing that he was the ‘exception,’ “if you’re here, slutting yourself out on my fingers.” 
“no he’s hitting it greatly,” you smirk, not rising to toji’s comments since you know what he was trying to get at, “i just missed you, that's all.”
“oh so you really have a boyfriend then?” he snapped, his fingers curling up in you.
“no i don't,” a smug smile appears on your face as you see toji’s smirk drop, “but it’s cute that you care though. are you jealous, toji?”
“shut up,” he says moodily, swiftly removing his fingers out of you, pulling you onto his lap.
you straddle him, your face inches from his, “aww are you mad toji?” you taunt with a mock pout. you’ve always loved getting a rise out of toji, you know your ex boyfriend very well, the more pissed off he was, the harder he fucked.
“sit on it,” he commands, the ‘it’ in question being his hard dick that he was furiously stroking at the sight of you. there was something about you that got on toji’s nerves – hence why you didn’t last long as a couple – but that special something was good for times like this. where you could both unleash any pent up energy you have, on eachother.
you welcome his dick eagerly, practically jumping on it, the wetness of your pussy was inviting. his dick slotted in perfectly, making you both curse at the contact. “fuck, you always feel so good,” he praises, loving the feeling of you clenching around his dick whilst you ride him.
there was a forcefulness coming from the both of you, as you were fucking each other as if you had something to prove, as if there was some unspoken competition to see who could get the other to cum first.
“f-fuck,” you mutter, the feeling of toji’s dick pistoning into you becoming too much.
“whats that princess?” toji mocks, grinning seeing your eyes gloss over, he could tell that your dick-stuffed cunt was about to release all over him, “y’gonna cum for me?”
you ignore him, continuing your mission to get toji to fold first. you manoeuvre your lips to his neck, kissing and sucking on his exposed flesh, and he takes a sharp inhale – bingo. you knew toji’s body as well as he knew yours, and he was always was weak for the way you’d nibble and bite on his neck as he fucked you dumb.
“are you gonna cum for me?” you mock mirroring his question, his strokes was getting sloppier, you could tell he was close. but you were not far behind, squirming in his lap about to reach your climax.there were no words that needed to be spoken as you and toji both cum together, your cunt too overloaded with both of your cum, making it drip out all over his dick.
“we should do this again sometime princess,” toji suggests, as you eventually hop off his dick and start putting back on your clothes, “you always know to fuck me right.”
“i’ll think about it,” you conclude, knowing that you’ll probably be back in less than a week, “and stop calling me that fucking nick name,” you say as you leave the room, the only response you hear being toji’s howling laughter.
☆ GETO
if there was one thing that you couldn’t deny your ex boyfriend had, it was his head skills. everytime without fail, he could have you sprawled out on any surface as his tongue laps your pussy. 
“s-shit, you’ve always been way too good at this,” 
“only, to please you,” he hums, pressing a soft kiss to your thigh, before going back to sucking on your clit. your hands knot his hair, pulling and tugging as he works on your folds. he loves it when you play in his hair, showing that he’s getting what he’s aiming for – giving you pleasure. 
your moans only encourage him to toy with your pussy harder, nipping and biting as your thighs clench around his head. he’s been at this for ages, tonguing your cunt for as long as possible, as if to see how long he’d be able to go. 
“sugu ‘m gonna cum,” you cry, pressure building up inside of you, “please let me cum.”
but he doesn't. ignoring your request completely, geto removes his mouth off of you. his lips were practically shining, coated in all the juices from your pussy.  “you know there was one thing we never got to do when we were together,” he starts to say, eyeing with a mischievous smile,
“which is…” you prompt, slightly upset at the lack of stimulation you were getting at your, now throbbing, pussy.
“you never sat on my face,” he utters just above a whisper, licking his lips at the thought of it. 
“but what if I—“
“don’t worry about any of that,” he murmurs, pushing himself further back on the bed, his eyes still focused on you, “come sit.”
you slowly work your way up his body, the mischief in his eyes making you feel excited. you pause, straddling his chest, your hands rest on his shoulders, “are you sure about this?”
“girl if you don’t–” he starts to say, but the rest of his sentence is muffled as he pulls you onto his face, his mouth enveloping your pussy. your hands immediately grip onto the headboard in front of you, as his tongue gives long strokes to your wet pussy, lapping up all the juices spilling from you. 
you were riding his face, your hips moving back and forth against his mouth with his head sandwiched between your thighs. “f-fuck sugu, it’s too much,” you moan out, throwing your head back. 
he grins in response, his hands gripping your ass pushing you onto his mouth deeper. he couldn’t get enough of you, the way you taste, the sweet scent of your pussy that he practically inhales, burying his nose in it.
“s-shit,” you curse, as your cunt explodes onto your ex’s face. you pause, catching your breath, still feeling the pleasurable high he just gave you. he still had his mouth on your pussy, eating up all the cum that was dripping out of you.
“hey suguru, wanna go and–” you turn to see gojo burst into the room, “oh shit, yn? are you two back together?” you scramble off of geto’s face, giving gojo the hardest glare for interrupting. 
“satoru, can’t you see that im busy,” geto chuckles, his mouth still covered with your cum, “im eating here.”
“right…” gojo nods, “i’ll leave you two too it,” but just before he leaves the room you here him yell, “im gonna tell everyone you’re back together.” you both chuckle at your friends antics, and geto pulls you back into him.
“get back on,” he smirks, “who said i was done?”
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AN: so there we go. I love geto's part so much but maybe im biased idk. but yeahhh hope you enjoy the thoughts that I had at like 7 am. DIVIDERS BY @/CAFEKITSUNE
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writingcroissant · 1 month
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Love of Choice | Azriel x reader
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Summary: The Cauldron doesn’t alway pick wisely when it comes to mates, but even though Azriel isn’t hers, she chooses him.
A/N: Jeez almost made myself cry writing this one (in a good way). I was so close to ending this with heartbreak, but you guys know I’m a sucker for happy endings lol. Please do let me know what you think! I love love love reading your comments ✨🫶
Word count: 5457
Warnings: talk of past abusive relationship and violence, angst (w/ happy ending), all the feels … it’s a bit sappy ngl
-
Fear is a funny thing. It is such a basic emotion to feel, yet somehow—if felt for long enough—it becomes a part of oneself. A detail so deeply engrained into the very essence of the being that you eventually learn to live with it. A constant companion. Sure, you’ll forget about it when things run smoothly, but whenever it comes back to crack the surface, your heart will sink for just a second with a horrific sense of realization.
For Y/N, that sinking feeling always came in the form of a simple question.
“So, since when have you and Azriel been mated, then?”
Feyre’s smile was honest, if a bit cautious. She was still adapting to life at the Night Court, though she looked healthier than she had upon her arrival. The bones no longer protruded from her clavicle, and she warmed to the presence of the inner circle a little more with each passing day.
From the corner of her eye, Y/N could see Cassian snap his attention to the glass in his hand. The laugh that had previously fallen freely from his lips due to a drunken patron at Rita’s had ebbed away quickly. He knew of the tension that flowed into each of Y/N’s muscles at Feyre’s question, though she did her best not to show it.
She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Azriel and I aren’t mates,” she said, her tongue heavy as she formed the words she’d had to speak to herself over and over again to accept them as the truth.
Feyre seemed surprised. “Oh? I never would’ve guessed. You two seem so … in sync.” She hesitated, and Y/N could see the question in her eyes. “Do you think the bond just hasn’t snapped yet? I’m sorry if that’s overstepping a line, you don’t have to answer, of course,” she added quickly, a faint touch of red tinting her cheeks.
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind,” Y/N said, her smile gaining in warmth at the newly turned faerie before her. Despite all the things Feyre had had to endure Under the Mountain, she was still so … curious. So new. “My mate died centuries ago. That’s how I know it cannot be Azriel.”
“Gods, I’m so sorry.” Feyre looked truly grief-stricken at the thought. “I can’t imagine how terrible it must have been to lose your mate.”
It was Cassian who snorted into the brief silence that followed Feyre’s words. “Good riddance,” he muttered before downing the rest of his drink.
Y/N tilted her head as she observed the uncomprehending look on Feyre’s face at Cassian’s unsubtle words, and she wondered what Feyre had been told about the mating bond.
“Mates aren’t always chosen wisely, Feyre,” Y/N spoke. “Sometimes the matches are … unfortunate. I don’t know what Tamlin told you about it,” her voice became cautious at the mention of the High Lord of Spring, “but accepting the mating bond is not compulsory. Sometimes the Cauldron—wise as it is—chooses wrong.”
Feyre seemed to cling to every word she spoke, her eyes wide. “What happens if you refuse the bond?”
Y/N forced the air from her lungs in a deep exhale, signalling Rita for a refill of her drink. “Well, it depends. Seeing as the female is usually the one who must accept the bond, she’s also the one who can reject it. There are very, very few instances in which a male refused a mate.”
“And the few we know of have not been pretty,” Cass added, picking apart a napkin with rough fingers. “No matter who rejects it, the other one usually goes mad with grief. Our nature’s fun like that,” he added with a wink and a half-hearted grin.
Feyre blinked a few times before looking at Y/N with a mixture of hesitation and curiosity, though it seemed the latter won the upper hand.
“So, I take it you were the one to reject your bond?”
Y/N grinned at that, though her insides were churning. “Do I not look mad to you?”
Feyre gave a sheepish smile. “Not particularly, no.”
Y/N sighed, and her grin died as fast as it had appeared. “I did reject it. He wasn’t very nice.”
Cass snorted again. “Understatement of the year.” A frown took over his features, making him look every bit as deathly as he was. “The cruel bastard.”
“That’s one way of putting it.”
“It’s the only way of putting it.”
Feyre’s eyes darted from one to the other, and Y/N could see the question arise within them before she so much as formed the words.
“What did he—”
“I’m gonna go get a refill,” Cassian announced. He stood to head for the bar before Feyre could finish her sentence, and Y/N recognised it for the exit strategy that it was. Contrary to what one might have expected given his title, Cassian had never particularly enjoyed hearing tales of cruelty and suffering. Especially not when it came to the people he loved.
Y/N cleared her throat, and Feyre’s expression grew wary, her voice barely above a whisper when she spoke. “You really don’t have to tell me.”
“No, it’s fine,” Y/n said. “You’re one of us now. You deserve to know who we are.” She hesitated, then sought out Feyre’s gaze. “Rhys told you about what happened to Mor?”
A barely-there flinch ran through Feyre at the mention of Mor’s ordeal. She gave a single nod, and Y/N lifted a shoulder.
“My family doesn’t stem from the Hewn City, but our customs were pretty much the same. They planned to marry me off to the highest bidder, and when he turned out to be my mate as well, they saw an opportunity to squeeze him for the last of his riches. A mate—especially a male one—would do anything, give anything for the bond.” She hesitated. “Unfortunately, I wasn’t smart enough to get myself out of it … not like Mor did. I thought I’d got lucky, given that I’d be married off to my mate.”
Y/N tugged on the cuff of her dress. “I lived with him for a while, but it didn’t take very long to realise my mistake and I thank the Gods every day that I hadn’t yet accepted the bond.”
“Why hadn’t you?” Feyre asked, her voice laced with curiosity.
Y/N shrugged. “Intuition? It was during the war with Hybern, right after we’d freed our human slaves, and I told him I wanted to wait with the ceremony till the war was over. But even during the few good weeks we had, something always felt … off.” She cleared her throat again, her mouth suddenly dry. “Well, like I said, it only took a few weeks to realise my mistake. They don’t value women a lot, you see. The other High Lords, I mean. Never have. Except for breeding purposes, of course.” Bitterness twisted her mouth into a frown. “I’ll spare you the details, but it wasn’t … well, it wasn’t pretty.”
“Wait, you … you were married to a High Lord?”
“Well, not quite.” Y/N tilted her head. She’d assumed Rhys had told her this much at least. “To an heir. Nuvian. The heir of Spring.”
She could see the colour draining from Feyre’s face. “You were married to … to …”
“Tamlin’s eldest brother, yes.”
Feyre swallowed heavily, and Y/N observed her for a moment. She knew of the bond between Feyre and Rhys, of course. It was hard to miss. Or at least it was hard to miss for someone who’d spent her life resenting one bond and longing for another. She’d gotten very sensitive when it came to the detection of mating bonds. Only Feyre didn’t know it yet, of course. 
She briefly wondered whether she should tell her, but soon concluded that it wasn’t her place to interfere.
“And he—” Feyre broke off, shaking her head at the direction her thoughts had taken. “I always got the impression Tamlin was raised to … to respect.”
“Tamlin’s family values wives for their roles as wives. They’re supposed to be silent and pretty to look at and pop out a few heirs while they’re at it.” Y/N hesitated when she recalled that Feyre did once love the High Lord of Spring, and, softening her tone, she added. “I don’t know Tamlin very well. I believe you when you say he’s not like that.”
An emotion flickered across Feyre’s face—one Y/N couldn’t quite place. It was gone faster than it had appeared.
“So, you lived at the Spring Court? And you never accepted the bond?”
Y/N sighed, leaning back in her chair. “No. Never. He didn’t seem to care much at first. I mean, he got most of what he wanted from me even without a bond. Save for the heir of course—I made sure of that.”
“What do you mean?”
Y/N felt her jaw clench for a fleeting moment. “There are tonics even someone without much knowledge of herbs can brew. Over my dead body would I have bound myself to him with yet another chain.”
Feyre hesitated. “And what happened then?”
Y/N felt every muscle, every tense edge of her face soften as a sense of calm washed over her. “Then I met Azriel.”
Feyre was surprised. “Already?”
She nodded. “Rhys and Tamlin were friends back then. I’m sure he told you?” When Feyre nodded, Y/N continued. “Rhys visited the Spring Court a couple times. We didn’t know each other then, but I missed my home, and so I befriended him. He reminded me of the Night Court, and I felt a little better when I talked to him. He brought me little trinkets from Velaris, things you could only get in the Night Court … and then one time, he brought Azriel along. I think it was for spying purposes, but Gods…” Y/N shook her head softly, mesmerised as she allowed herself to sink deep into the memory. “I fell hard, and I fell fast, and I’ve loved him ever since.”
“Was he the reason you left Nuvian?” Feyre asked quietly, and the memory that had just warmed Y/N’s veins turned ice cold.
“One does not simply leave the Heir of the Spring Court,” she ground out through clenched teeth. “Nuvian noticed of course, he was bound to. He detected a scent he didn’t know, said I … tasted different.” She grimaced. “He didn’t know it was Azriel. He suspected Rhys, and so he— … he began to whisper, to scheme and manipulate his father into thinking Rhys would be a threat to his throne.”
Nausea twisted her stomach into a knot, and for the first time since knowing her, she didn’t dare meet Feyre’s eye. She didn’t have to. She knew that Rhys had told her this part.
“By the Mother,” Feyre breathed.
Y/N cleared her throat, desperately attempting to swallow the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. “Tamlin’s father slaughtered Rhys’ family, and it was all because of Nuvian’s jealousy. It was all because of me.”
Cassian chose that moment to reappear, bearing a beer glass he’d already half-emptied only to set it down on the table much harder than necessary.
“Stop talking like that,” he said gruffly, though the gentle hand that appeared on her back counteracted his harsh tone. “It wasn’t your fault. Tam’s old man would’ve come for Rhys even without your involvement.”
She offered a wobbly smile. She knew he truly believed his words—all of them did. Rhys had never once blamed her for what had happened. But she knew the truth, even if neither one of them wanted to see it.
Silence stretched on for a long while, only the soft murmur of a lazy crowd of patrons buzzing in the background of Rita’s pub. She felt a gentle brush of air on her ankle, goosebumps arising on the back of her neck.
It was Feyre who spoke first. “So that’s how it ended? Rhys and his father killed Nuvian along with his family, and you were free to go back to the Night Court?”
“Oh, Rhys didn’t kill the bastard,” Cass said, and Y/N smiled at the shadow curling over her hand.
Feyre looked confused now. “Then who killed him?”
“I did,” a low voice hummed from somewhere behind them—a voice deep as the night and smooth as shadow, and Y/N felt her heart pick up its pace as though on cue.
From the way Feyre’s eyes focused on something behind her, Y/N could tell that Azriel had emerged from his shadows, and sure enough, two broad palms appeared on her shoulders, heavy with comfort and warmth.
“Azriel,” Feyre said, her eyes briefly flickering to Y/N as though to make sure the topic was still okay to talk about, even with Azriel present. “You went with Rhys that night?”
Y/N lay her head back to look up at Azriel and watched as he inclined his head in confirmation.
When he caught her gaze, his eyes softened, and she felt his thumb brush against the side of her neck affectionately.
“Will you give us a moment, my love?” she asked softly, her hand coming up to find one of his, the pads of her fingers brushing over raised scar tissue. She knew he’d come to take her home. “I will be out in a moment.”
“Of course,” he said, and Y/N caught a flicker of concern in the depth of his eyes—one he always got whenever she dwelt on the past. He squeezed her shoulders, offering a polite smile to Feyre, and then vanished into the shadows once again.
Cassian was quick to rise from his chair as well. “I’ll go keep him company,” he proclaimed. “Would be a shame to have him freeze his balls off all by himself.”
Y/N snorted. “And you call yourself Illyrian.”
She hid a grin as Cassian gave her the finger before steering towards the door, half-empty glass in hand.
Y/N exhaled deeply, but she could see from the look in Feyre’s eyes that something was still nagging her. Tilting her head, she asked, “What is it?”
Feyre hesitated. She opened her mouth, then clapped it shut before opening it once again.
“It’s just,” she began. “The mating bond. It’s supposed to be this amazing, beautiful thing, and hearing that it was such agony for you, it’s … well, it’s a reality check I suppose.”
Y/N’s face softened as she sought out Feyre’s hands on the tabletop. “Most times, it is beautiful,” she said. “It’s just dangerous to romanticise it, as it is dangerous to romanticise literally anything else in life. It is important to remember that you have a choice. You can choose to reject it just as well as you can choose to embrace it. And if the latter, I’m sure that— … whoever you end up with shall be worthy of your love.”
Gods, she’d been this close to letting it slip. But luckily, Feyre was still distracted.
“But you and Azriel—” Feyre broke off, collected her thoughts, then opened her mouth again. “I truly don’t mean to pry, but while I was with Tamlin, I kept waiting … I kept thinking the bond would snap any day now. And when it didn’t, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he and I … that we—”
“That you weren’t meant to be,” Y/N finished for her, ignoring that sharp twist in her gut—that fear she’d now been carrying for centuries raising its ugly head. She nodded, searching for the right words before she opened her mouth. “I’m very sure of Azriel’s love for me, and yet every night before I fall asleep, there’s a part of me that fears that the next day will be the day that he finds his true mate. I dread the day his bond snaps in place because I know he’ll want to fight it. He’ll do anything in his might to fight it, and he’ll be torn between his love for me and every instinct telling him to love someone else. I dread it because that’s not what I want for him.”
She swallowed thickly. “I had my mate, and I’m glad he’s dead. Azriel carved him up, and I did not shed a single tear. I rejected the bond, and I chose to spend my life with Azriel instead. I choose him every single day, and even if one day it’ll end, I’ll know that it was real. No Cauldron, no Mother, no Gods. I love him, and he loves me, and we chose each other, bond or not.”
Tears were lining Feyre’s eyes as she stared at her, and Y/N smiled, tilting her head. “You’re still new to this, Feyre,” she spoke softly. “Unfortunately, when you live an immortal life, things are bound to get unfathomably hard at one point or another. But that doesn’t mean you don’t get to have a say in your own future.”
It was just a short while later that Y/N revelled in the starlight as she walked along the Sidra, her arm looped through Azriel’s, her head leaning against his shoulder. She’d always loved the night.
Cassian had taken off with Feyre earlier, flying her back to the House of Wind, but Y/N and Azriel had decided to walk to the home they shared by the river.
“My love,” Azriel spoke softly into the silence, his steps halting as he turned to face her fully.
She smiled as she looked up at him, at the starlight reflecting in his eyes, the dark strands of hair swallowed by the shadows of night. “What is it?”
She felt his palms on her cheeks, his warmth seeping into her skin, and when he kissed her, she felt the tingle right down to her toes.
“I love you,” he breathed when he broke the kiss, his face still close enough for her to feel the puff of his words wash over her skin. “I love you more than words can say. And I choose you, too.”
Her smile turned watery then, though she tried to play it off.
“Eavesdropping now, are we?”
“Marry me.”
Her heart stuttered to a stop at his words, her breathing suddenly laboured. “Azriel—”
“No, wait,” he said, his thumb brushing against her lower lip in a gentle request. “I know we’ve talked about it before, and I know you have this notion of me suddenly finding my mate and then being bound to you when I’d rather be with them. But that’s not going to happen.”
She swallowed thickly, her voice barely above a whisper as she spoke, for fear it could break entirely. “You don’t know that.”
“But I do.” Conviction lay in Azriel’s words, his eyes searching hers. “You said it yourself. We choose each other every day and we have for centuries now. The bond is rare to begin with, but what makes you think you’d be second choice if it ever came to the possibility of mine snapping in place?”
She was thankful for the thumb he smoothed across her cheek, catching a stray tear.
“You don’t know the power of a mating bond, Az. There’s no way you can be sure.”
He considered her for a moment. “Maybe not. But you told Feyre that we get to decide for ourselves. We don’t need to rely on the Cauldron. I get to choose, and I choose you.”
She felt her lip wobble.
“I choose you,” he said again, softer this time. “You’re my mate in every way that counts. Marry me.”
-
The day Azriel’s bond snapped in place was a few months after the second war with Hybern.
Solstice was nearing, and Rhys had invited representatives from every Court to celebrate early. Well, almost every court. He’d skipped Spring and Autumn.
The banquet hall in the House of Wind had been decorated for the occasion, artful ice crystals mixing in with dark fabrics and millions of tiny diamonds forming the illusion of a rich night sky.
It was in the middle of the main course that Azriel felt a sharp tug in his chest, a flinch running through him at the sensation.
To his left, Y/N threw a worried glance at him.
“Is everything alright?” she asked, her hand seeking out his, the diamond on her finger catching the light of the chandelier. Azriel thought of the day they’d stood before their friends, exchanging rings, vows, promises. It all seemed years away now, though it had only been months.
“Yes, I …” Azriel broke off, clearing his throat. “Excuse me for a moment, my love.”
He didn’t bother getting up from the table, but rather vanished into his shadows only to find himself in the comfort of his room seconds later.
Something felt … off.
He’d heard of heart attacks before, had even witnessed a few during the time he’d spent spying in the human realm, but he knew that that couldn’t be what was happening to him. Faeries didn’t get heart attacks. Short from a blade to the gut, there wasn’t much that could kill them.
Poison entered his mind. Poison was possible. Or a cold. Perhaps a bruise from his last training with Cass. Or an old war injury.
Anything. He was racking his brain, desperately searching for an explanation other than the obvious.
A new wave of warmth crashed into him, and Azriel gritted his teeth when a gentle knock on the door had him flinch.
Usually, he sensed anyone approaching within a mile thanks to his shadows.
“Az,” Y/N said as she entered the room, closing the door behind her. Gods, he loved the dress she wore tonight, the delicate earrings he’d gifted her years back. He tried to focus on them with all his might. “Are you sure you’re okay? You looked … spooked when you left.”
“Yes, I’m—” Azriel broke off and flinched when the sharp sensation reappeared, instinctively lifting a hand to his chest.
It seemed that gesture alone was enough for her to realise, and Y/N’s face fell as though drained entirely from energy.
Suddenly, silence lay heavy between them, thick as mud and unbearable in its duration.
“It’s your bond,” she breathed, her voice barely above a whisper, her expression almost numb. “Isn’t it?”
“No,” Azriel said, forcing the sensation back down and ignoring the rising panic threatening to clog up his throat. “No, it’s not.”
“Azriel—”
“No.”
Silence settled once again, and Azriel wanted to throw up at the distance she kept as though she had no right to step closer. As though she wasn’t the one who was supposed to be here right now.
He took the step instead, lifting his palm to her face, but before he could touch her, the sting in his chest intensified and Azriel huffed as he clenched his fist mid-air.
Her eyes softened, but the sorrow they held almost broke him.
“Azriel,” she spoke softly, quietly. “It’s okay.”
He shook his head, not trusting his voice.
“You’re suppressing it,” she said. “Allow it to snap in place.”
“No,” Azriel gritted through his teeth. He didn’t want this, and the fact that she looked like her worst fear had just manifested right before her eyes didn’t make it any easier. She made it seem final. She made it seem like she’d already given up hope.
“The longer you suppress it, the stronger it’ll get.”
“You just made that up.”
She smiled weakly. “Maybe.”
Azriel’s eyes watered. “I don’t want it.”
“That’s okay, baby,” she breathed, finally stepping closer, lifting her own hand to his chest. “Letting it snap in place doesn’t make it final. You can find out who you’re bonded to and decide then.”
“I have decided.”
No part of her seemed convinced at that, but she let it go without comment.
“Let it snap,” she urged instead. “You won’t be able to fight it forever.”
Azriel’s hands shot to her face, his grip a bit firmer than he intended as he held her cheeks in his palms.
“Listen to me,” he ground out, the pressure in his chest intensifying. “Stop talking like that. Stop talking like this is the end. I have decided. I. Choose. You.”
She looked at him for a long while—so long that he thought his chest might burst into flames if she kept it up much longer. Finally, her gaze snapped to the ring on the hand that still lay on his chest, and she nodded.
“I know,” she breathed, fixing her eyes back on him. “I know, Az.”
Azriel exhaled as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and with his hands still on the one he loved, he carefully loosened the restraints he’d kept on the throbbing heat in his chest.
At once, it burst free, and Azriel stumbled a step back, his hands falling from her cheeks as though they’d been burned. Tension ran from the top of his head right down to his toes, and he felt it then—glowing deep within him, golden and hot, pulsing with energy, tethering him to … he didn’t know to whom, but the feeling was breath-taking. It was all-consuming, clouding his mind and numbing his senses as every bit of his focus turned inwards in an attempt to peer to the other side of that line. The side that still lay in darkness.
Her voice was the only thing that penetrated the fog in his head.
“Can you feel her yet?” she asked, her voice cracking at the end, and Azriel knew that he hadn’t controlled the mesmerisation he’d felt just then. He’d let it all show on his face bright as day for her to see.
He hesitated. “No.”
“Tug on it.”
He wanted to fight it, to refuse, but the sudden need to find out was overwhelming. It seemed like he no longer was in control, like his body was working against his mind, and so he did as she said.
It took a few tries. He never would have imagined it to feel like this, but when he finally managed to grasp the invisible thread within him, he gave a tentative tug. When that didn’t work, he gave a harder tug, and from one moment to the next, his heart stuttered to a stop.
Because standing before him, in the room he’d called his home for many years, was the one he loved. And as his eyes tracked the absent-minded look on her face, he noted her hand rubbing at a spot just beneath her left clavicle. She didn’t even seem to realise she was doing it.
He stared at her, and as he stared, he forced himself not to hope, because surely it was impossible. Unheard of. Otherworldly.
Azriel gripped that thread within him, and he tugged, and as he tugged, he flooded it with everything he felt for her, every bit of love he had to offer.
His knees weakened when she flinched, confusion on her face.
“What—”
“Look at me,” he interrupted her, placing his hands on her shoulders this time, his eyes boring into hers. He gave another tug, and he could see it then—see the realisation flicker deep within her eyes, the eyes that now flooded with unshed tears.
“What are you doing, I—”
Suddenly, a sense of calm overcame Azriel, and it seemed time slowed to a grinding stop. He saw her eyes then, the eyes he’d lost himself in right upon their first encounter in the Spring Court. The lips he’d kissed during stolen moments alone, the cheeks he’d held when she’d sobbed over the cruelty of the Cauldron for making Nuvian her mate and not him.
He’d wanted to kill Nuvian then. For everything he’d been doing to her, every bruise on her body and soul, every finger he’d ever dared to lay on her. Azriel had already had a plan, but he’d hesitated. He didn’t know what it would do to her if he killed her mate, and before he’d managed to convince himself to go through with it, Tamlin’s father had already sought his revenge for a supposed threat to his throne.
Afterwards, Azriel had held in his hands not only the shattered bits of his lover but also those of his brother, and he’d revelled in the way his dagger felt cutting through Nuvian’s throat like a knife through butter.
He spoke her name now, the name of a love greater than he’d ever dared to hope for. It felt soft on his tongue, and his wings shuddered with the sensation.
“Y/N. My love. It’s you.”
She stared at him, and when she took a step back, creating distance between them, Azriel’s heart gave a crack.
His fingers wrapped gently around her wrist, and he felt her hand tremble in his grip, her face stricken.
“Feel for it,” he insisted, lifting her hand back to his chest to press her palm over his heart. “Dig it up.”
“Azriel,” her voice was rough as gravel as she spoke, her head shaking frantically. “Don’t. It’s not possible.”
He urged closer, breathing her in, feeling the bond thrum thickly within him, and when he tugged again, she gave a choked sob in response to the sensation he knew now coursed through her as well.
“Let it snap,” he said, using her own words, his voice much calmer than he would have thought it would be in such a situation. He weaved his free hand through her hair, lowering his forehead to hers. “Allow it to snap in place.”
She hesitated, but when she finally allowed the tension to flow from her muscles, it seemed every fibre of Azriel’s being came to life with sizzling heat, and this time, when she sobbed, it was with joy barely contained.
-
- BONUS -
It was a little while later that Azriel stood in Rhys’ study, his fingers running along the bare curve of his mate’s back, revelling in every bump and dent of her spine. He truly loved her dress—her back bare for him to touch, her front glittering like his favourite constellation.
In the hour since the bond had snapped into place, his hands hadn’t left her once.
Rhys stared at them.
“Two mating bonds,” he muttered, his expression equally mesmerised. “I’ve never heard of such a thing before.”
“Do you think it’s because I didn’t accept the first one?” Y/N asked quietly. She was still buzzing with joy, but the overwhelming revelation had left her spent, her cheeks glowing, her tone calm. Her own hands were fiddling with a button on Azriel’s jacket.
Rhys considered her for a moment. “Perhaps,” he said. “Either that or the fact that Nuvian is dead. There could be a time factor to it as well, but—" Rhys halted in his speech, and his eyes snapped to the door behind Y/N’s back. “Feyre, darling. Have you heard the news?”
When Y/N turned, her gaze landed on the High Lady, and a smile curved her lips in response to the excitement shining in her eyes.
“Well of course. Your thoughts were very loud,” Feyre grinned, closing the door softly behind her. “Cassian and Mor are losing their minds.”
Azriel snorted softly, and Y/N felt his hand slip to her hip to give a gentle squeeze.
“I’m so happy for you two,” Feyre said, bouncing ever so slightly on the balls of her feet, her eyes bright. “I’m so glad it worked.”
Y/N and Azriel shared a look before Y/N looked back at Feyre and asked, “What worked?”
“Well, I wished for it.”
A beat of silence.
“Whatever do you mean, my darling?” Rhys asked from where he sat behind his desk.
Feyre tilted her head. “When you and I were mending the Cauldron, of course. I wished for them to be mated. Didn’t you hear?”
Silence settled, the clock by the door ticking loudly, and all Y/N could do was stare at the faerie that—in the few short months she’d been living at the Night Court—had not only become her High Lady but a dear friend.
For the first time since the bond snapped, Azriel’s hand left her skin, and she felt the loss of contact right down to her bones.
She watched carefully as he neared Feyre and smiled when he wrapped strong arms around her delicate shoulders, pulling her firmly to his chest, his head bowing as he pressed his cheek to her hair.
“Thank you,” he breathed, and as Y/N caught Feyre’s gaze over the shoulder of her mate, it felt like her heart was about to burst with happiness.
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koemiexists · 29 days
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Love and Devotion | Alastor x Fem Reader
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summary: you descend from Heaven because you can't stand not being with your husband any longer. word count: 9.7k (apologies...) tags: vaginal sex, cream pie, semi-public sex, making love, making out, voice kink, oral sex, demon sex
Charlie’s voice pierced through the awkward silence, grinning at Alastor shakily. “Today’s exercise will include Alastor...!”
Silence rang throughout the room, and Charlie took a deep breath, smiling even wider, even though everyone knew just how forced it was.
“The Radio Demon....! Alastor. ” She nodded next to her, and jumped slightly when he used his shadow to appear next to her within a few seconds. “Okay! We will have Alastor, uh, play some music-”
“Jazz,” He interjected, his grin stretching further.
“Yes! Jazz! While we reminisce about our past life...! What could have been, what should have been, what we wish we never did. It’ll allow us to reflect, and help atone our sins to be redeemed!”
Alastor let out a quiet hum sound, and snapped his fingers, a radio appearing in his hands. Tucking his cane underneath his arm, he placed his right hand over the radio, supporting the bottom of the electronic with his left. He felt his mind drift as the radio frequencies buzzed and bits of different channels were barely heard. Some sounds of a woman talking, then some blues, a bit of classical- and there was jazz. He lifted his right hand, grasping his cane as he set the radio down on the coffee table, looking at Charlie.
“Seems as if I am no longer needed. Such a shame, however I wouldn’t wish to intrude on your group bonding activities! It was a pleasure to help you all, though.” He smirked slightly, bowing just barely before he turned, walking to his room. 
Now safely in his room, he felt his resolve crumble slowly, the pain weighing deeply. However, he couldn’t afford for this to happen, so he inhaled deeply, and gripped at the rubble.
He tugged , and the once slowly slipping mask of a smile was replaced with a bright grin, brighter than his normal ones, but not at all genuine. Alastor blinked, looked at his hands, annoyed he almost went against his own saying. 
In a different afterlife, if he didn’t have strong emotions, he wouldn't still be plagued by your death. It’s been years. For Lucifer’s sake, it’s been an entire century plus some, and yet he can’t help but long for you.
Gathering his bearings, he adjusts his blazer and the grime off his monocle. He was absolutely impeccable, reveling quietly at his pristine appearance.
Alastor glanced at his dwellings, closed his eyes, and turned for the door, accepting only for these few hours that he can not think about his wife.
You were in your house when you died.
Patiently, you were waiting for your husband, Alastor to return from his radio show. You smiled, knowing just how well he did. He mentioned in passing that after this paycheck he’ll buy you a ring, and you’ll both go on a getaway trip for the week. 
If only that happened.
You let out a scream when you heard the glass break, the sound echoing throughout the house. You had run to the phone, shaking as you spun the small wheel at the base of the phone, repeating the numbers of Alastor’s work phone in your head as you input it into the machine.
It rang.
And rang.
When Alastor’s voice sounded at the receiver, you started to speak, blabbing, almost fully incomprehensible.
“Someone-” You gasped, tears rolling down your cheeks as your husband tried to comfort you, and understand exactly what you were saying. “Someone broke in-!”
A deafening bang sounded, and all you could hear was your own body hit the floor, and the gurgling sounds you made before you died.
You knew that Alastor heard the same.
When you came to, you realized you made it to Heaven. It was a bit of a shock to you, as you remembered the time you helped a lady steal some baby food. It was needed though! At least, you told yourself she needed it. Her baby looked awfully malnourished.
Shaking your head, you walked up to the gate, and smiled when the blond angel said your name.
That was a century or so ago, and you longed for your husband still. One of the angel’s, Adam, tried to get you to forget about your late husband and date him.
You never did though, because you still had hope. You had so much hope. If he wasn’t in Heaven, he had to be in Hell, and you had decided that you didn’t want to wait any longer, you wanted to find him.
Descending down was relatively easy, somehow. No one truly bat an eye, and in record time you were down in Hell.
You wrinkled your nose, and hid your wings to try and conceal how out of place you looked with all the sinners. You realized quickly though that despite you being an angel, no one dared to approach you with the intent to harm.
Taking a deep breath, you tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, walking with haste. You didn’t truly know where you were going, frantically looking anywhere for him. The surroundings became increasingly more violent and populated, and you were just so desperate to find your husband. A small thought popped in your mind, the what-if.... If he already died... from other demons....!
A sob wrecked your body at the mere thought, horrified you even thought that. You inhaled, wiping the tears, faith that your husband was strong, that he wouldn’t die so easily. 
“Are you okay?” You almost broke your neck with how fast you turned, looking at a young demon. She wasn’t like the others in appearance, her canines were the only sharp parts of her teeth, and her hair was blonde. Her outfit was red, though, but her skin was almost milky white.
You felt embarrassed with the way you just gawked at her, and looked away. “I need help.” You quietly said, finally noticing the other woman next to the woman who talked to you.
The blonde demon tilted her head, before nodding. “We’ll help you! My name is Charlie, Charlie Morningstar?”
Your gaze shifted to the person next to her. “Vaggie.” She supplied simply, and you noted how she seemed annoyed. That’s when you actually took in that their outfits were much nicer than any of the demons you saw, and their hair was done. 
“Oh! I’m terribly sorry, uh, did I interrupt your hang out?” You felt terrible, first your faith for your husband began to slip, and now you interrupted two friends, or lovers.
The tall demon, Charlie, just grinned at you. “Don’t worry about it! I offered to help you, didn’t I?” She turned to Vaggie, and leaned down. Words were exchanged in a whisper, and you looked away to give them some privacy.
Finally, Vaggie sighed and nodded at Charlie, who beamed.
“What do you need help with?” Vaggie asked, as the three of you began to walk in the opposite direction you came from.
You flushed, and looked down. “I was wondering... if you two know where Alastor is?” 
Both of them stopped in their tracks, looking at you as you shifted foot to foot. “We do,” Charlie began slowly. “Is there any reason why...?”
You looked away. “Please? He’s important to me.”
The women looked at one another, chalking it up as if you're one of Alastor’s relatives. “Okay,” Vaggie agreed. 
They made small talk with you, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to truly care about what they were saying. You answered as if on auto-pilot. 
Soon enough, Charlie and Vaggie stopped, motioning to the large building built on a hill. “Here,” Charlie started, smiling at you. “This is where me and Vaggie work! Alastor is currently the facility manager.”
You thank them quietly, walking inside. Now in a closed space, you released your wings, ruffling them as you felt them ache. 
Glancing around, you noted the color was less red than it was outside. Hell was definitely filled with just variants of red. 
“Thank you two, for bringing me here!” You turned, smiling at the pair. “I’m still sorry for ruining your hang-out-”
“Date.” Vaggie interjected, hand on her hip.
You smiled. “Date,” You corrected yourself. “I’ll make it up to you guys!”
Charlie laughed, waving her hand. “Don’t worry too much about it. It’s nice to help someone.”
“Dear?”
That voice caused you to stop where you were, eyes going wide with shock. You slowly turned, letting out a gut-wrenching sob as you flew straight at Alastor. 
His grin on his face only grew wider, and fully genuine as he grasped you close, hand in your hair as you crumpled against him. “Oh, darling.” He breathed, trying to pull your head back to gaze at your face. Your grip was almost too strong, but he managed to pull you off slightly.
You sniffed, feeling gross as you knew just how snotty and disgusting you looked, nose red and leaky from crying. Your eyes must have been pretty puffy, because Alastor gave you a small smile, soft and apologetic. 
“I love you.” You muttered, almost completely inaudible.
“Wow,” A voice sounded behind you, and as you twisted to try and see who was speaking, Alastor pulled you closer. “Didn’t know Freaky Face over there was capable of having someone care for him.”
Someone else snorted, and you heard a small thump accompanied with an undignified squeak. “Angel! Be nice.” Vaggie muttered.
Angel, you assumed, huffed.
Pulling away fully now, you rose, sniffling as you looked up at your husband. “I missed you.” You said this time, and Alastor only grinned.
Charlie looked between you two, grinning sheepishly. “Alright, well, Alastor, care to introduce who she is...?”
Alastor looked at Charlie, before bringing you closer. “Well, this is (Name),” He started, his hand resting against the small of your back. “And she is my wife.”
“Holy shit.” The voice who snorted spoke, and you saw how he dropped a bottle of what looked like alcohol. 
You felt embarrassed, even though you were proud to be Alastor’s wife, it was awkward for his associates to know it.
Charlie walked over to you, and gently held her hand out. You glanced at Alastor, and at his subtle nod, you took her hand. “I’m assuming you’ll be staying for a bit?” She inquired, and you just flushed a bit. 
“I think so. Alastor must want to catch up.” 
She smiled, and gently led you down a hallway. You noticed the decor, with the walls being colored a deep desaturated red. Gold adorned the walls, complimenting the reds. The hall seemed to stretch for quite a bit, and there were doors that led into multiple different rooms. 
Charlie began to explain how this was one of the areas where Alastor’s accommodation was. She led you further in, before opening a door to your right. The space was a bathroom, clearly unused but meticulously cleaned to perfection. The young demon drew up a bath, and you suddenly felt the tiredness seep through, along with the gross feeling that stuck to your skin.
“Here,” She said softly, once she deemed it was a good temperature. The tub itself was grand, and there were bubbles on the surface. A faintly sweet and earthy scent filled the slightly steamy quarters. “I’ll leave you be-”
You shook your head, stumbling a little. You didn’t want her to leave so soon, especially with how accommodating she was to your situation. “Don’t? Please.” You inhaled quietly, gathering yourself as you spoke, your voice slightly louder. “I... I would like you to stay, and talk with me.”
Charlie obviously was mulling it over, hesitant to stay. You knew that apparently the people of the hotel were afraid of Alastor, for reasons you weren’t truly aware of, but you resolved in your mind that if Alastor had a problem with Charlie being with you, you'd talk to him. “Alastor won’t mind,” You started softly. “I’ll make sure he isn’t upset, even though he is... a bit possessive.”
Drawing the curtain, you slid into the bath, sighing at the heavenly feeling of the water. You identified the sweet smell to be vanilla, and you glanced at the corner of the tub, where a small bottle of vanilla soap stood. Charlie then sat down on a small stool and began to talk, mostly rambling about the hotel.
Once she mentioned what she was trying to accomplish, you interjected, beginning to tell her about how Heaven worked, the rules you had followed, the slight oppressing feel. Yet you also mentioned how it was everything she thought it was. Your conversation with the princess of Hell flowed easily, and soon enough you were cracking jokes with her, and she was asking you for your opinion on a variety of exercises she had in mind.
Soon enough though, she left the bathroom in order to get your clothes that were in the washing machine. She placed your clean clothes down by the sink, and bid you farewell as you finished your shower. Drying off, you saw the small note on top of your garments that simply said; ‘Don’t dally. I will be in my room. - Alastor’.
You smiled, and fixed yourself in front of the body length mirror, gently drying your hair to avoid it being frizzy. Once you deemed yourself presentable, you exited the washroom, scanning the hallway.
Noticing the murky shadows coming from one of the doors, you slowly made your way over, about to knock on the smooth dyed wood before the door opened quickly.
Jumping back in shock, you almost yelped out when you got pulled into the room. You blinked and looked up, noticing your husband staring down at you, a broad smile on his face.
“Smile, dear.” He started, voice low and staticky as he pulled you closer.
“Because you’re never fully dressed without a smile...” You finished, giving him an awkward grin, before you burst into tears, not out of sadness but pure overwhelming relief.
Your husband embraced you, stroking your hair as you just slipped into his arms. “Missed you so much.” You spoke in a whisper, almost inaudible as Alastor wiped your tears from the corner of your eyes.
His smile was small and comforting, staring down at you with pure adoration in his eyes. “I can see that,” He said teasingly. “You must miss me very much, mon cher.”
Giving him a glare, you pulled away in faux anger at his teasing remark. “ Now darling... ” You stiffened at the slight hint of danger in his voice as he pulled you into his chest again. “You know I mean no harm to my little doe.” He crooned, and you let out a breath, the threatening feeling dissipating. 
You were slightly jostled as he maneuvered the both of you to lay face to face on his comfortable bed. The sheets rustled underneath your body, and you noticed just how grand your husband’s dwellings were. The sheets were made out of silk, the same material that your pillow case was made of when you were alive. 
You know you’re spiraling in your own thoughts, but you can’t help as you recall how your husband doted on you, his deep russet eyes peering at you from above his round glasses that sat on top of his nose. “(Name),” He would whisper, his voice charming, and you couldn’t help the love that burst through you when you stared at your lover. “Would you let me bed you?” Alastor would groan in a husky voice, and you would lose yourself in the throes of pleasure underneath his body, letting him mark you and claim you as his only.
“Darling,” His voice sounded again, and you blinked, shaking yourself from memory lane.
“Apologies, Al.” You murmured, kissing the corner of his mouth. “I just...”
He hushed you quietly, stroking your cheek as he kissed your forehead. You smiled gently, and he tucked a lock of your hair behind your ear. 
“You’re exhausted.” Alastor stated simply. “I’ll still be here when you wake up dear, so don't worry your pretty head.”
You shuffled, glancing over at the door, which was shut. “But...” You trailed off when Alastor shook his head slightly. 
“Don’t worry about the hotel. I’ll show you around in the morning, for now you need to rest, you had a long day searching for me in an unfamiliar place, am I right?”
Flushing, you nodded, and laid back down, slowly drifting to sleep against Alastor.
The way to Hell was completely barred off. Frustrated, you had tried to break through the seal, but to no avail. No matter what you tried, you couldn’t shatter it. 
You yelled out, pounding on the seal, wishing it would just open up. Why couldn’t you see your husband? What did you do to deserve the inability to travel to Hell to see your lover as you wish?
“You really think we wouldn’t catch on?” Adam snorted, kicking his empty drink away as he sauntered over to you. Your tears were running down your cheeks, and your wings fluttered, but no matter how hard you tried, they wouldn’t work.
Another angel came next to Adam, huffing. “Look at this demon fucker. You’re nothing but a whore, aren’t you?” She growled, and you let out a sob as she yanked you up by the hair, pressure in your scalp intensifying with each painful tug. “Look at me when I speak to you, bitch.”
“Chill Lute, fuck.” Adam rolled his eyes, and you hit the ground with a groan as Lute kicked your abdomen, making you double over, retching all over the floor.
Lute spat in your direction, glaring down at your shaken body as you heaved. 
“Your little husband , he’s gone from you forever. You’ll never see that worthless sinner again. You have better things to do anyways, like dating me, you know.” Adam grinned. “Why would you need a sinner like him, who’s bound to die anyways by the extermination when you can have me? Adam! The first man!”
“(Name)!” You tried to fight off the hands that were grasping your arms, heaving as bile rose from your throat. “Shh, mon cher, you’re okay. It’s okay.” Alastor said soothingly, and you blinked tiredly as you stopped struggling against his hold.
Extermination? You couldn’t make sense of your nightmare, and you heard of Adam before, but not an angel named Lute. The pictures were muddled, like an oil painting, and you couldn’t understand what you had seen, what you heard in those few moments of sleep that grappled you.
You shuddered, the cold whipping against your smooth skin, and you pulled the blanket over you more, glancing at Alastor, who’s grin was tense now, looking down at you. “Nightmare.” You whispered, not providing any more context other than the word.
Alastor, thankfully, seemed to understand you weren’t up for talking anymore, especially not what occurred in the nightmare, instead he pulled you close, your chest pressed against his. He helped you hook your leg over his own, as you two were intertwined partially.
“I don’t believe I can sleep now.” You started again, voice quiet as Alastor blinked at you. Then he leaned in, pressing his lips against yours. You were a bit annoyed that he would just kiss you after what had just happened, however you knew you didn’t elaborate on what you saw so he had no way of knowing the severity that the nightmare has done to you.
He kissed you deeper, dragging his right hand from your wrist to in between the both of you, his nimble fingers pressing delicately at your clothed heat. You couldn’t help but gasp, and he moved his mouth to swallow your sounds, pressing his tongue against yours. A whimper escaped you afterwards, and he pulled away to nip at your neck, rubbing small circles at your cunt. Your eyes were lidded, and you jerked in his hold, wishing that he would just tear your undergarments away and fuck you like you been wanting.
“Needy,” he huffed, and you felt your cheeks heat up as Alastor used his claws, ripping your lace panties straight to shreds. You shrieked at the sudden action, yet Alastor kept going, kissing you again. His hand is rubbing at your clit now, and you shuddered against him, wishing you had more contact instead of just his hand. 
Smirking, Alastor repositioned the two of you, slotting his hips in between your legs. You whined at the feel of his own clothing against your bare cunt, however he just hushed you, grin wide as he rolled his hips.
You moaned loudly, instantly muffled by his mouth greedily on yours. He held your hips in an almost bruising grip, licking into your mouth as he began a steady pace of rolling his hips. You heaved, and he bit at your lip before trailing down again to suck a dark love bite right above your bust. The heat was coiling deep in your gut, swirling as it tightened, his ministrations causing you to let out soft moans.
Alastor pulled you closer, staring down at you as began to go faster. His erection was pressing against your clit just right, and you couldn’t help the loud sound that exited your mouth as your thighs shook. Your orgasm flowed over you in waves, the tension letting go all at once. 
Once you were done, you slumped in the sheets. You felt Alastor pull away from you, kissing your cheek. He shuffled, and soon you felt him right behind you, pulling you close against him. Your eyes fluttered, sleep beginning to overtake you.
When you awoke again, it was due to a delicious smell wafting from downstairs, and not a horrible nightmare. You slept exceptionally well, and you stretched, allowing your bones to pop. You unfurled your wings, stretching them too, before tucking them back in, blinking around. 
Alastor wasn’t in bed with you. You felt your chest tightened, but when you glanced at the grandfather clock in his room, you noticed it was nearing nine, and your husband had always been an early bird. 
You sniffed, and almost began to salivate instantly at the smell again. You looked around for something to wear, especially considering your underwear were now measly strips of fabric... then you saw folded clothes with a note on top of it.
Grasping the note, you noticed that it was from Charlie. ‘ Hey (Name), Alastor told me to drop off some clothes for you for the morning. He said something elegant and modest.. Which is kinda hard to find in Hell, however Vaggie had some clothes she didn't use, and allowed you to wear! Alastor also said you needed undergarments, so I went out and brought you some! OO, Charlie Morningstar.’
You smiled brightly, and turned it over, letting out a small laugh at the next bit. ‘PS: OO, because if I put XX Alastor would kill me. Come downstairs for breakfast when you’re done!’
The material of the garments were nice; smooth and silky. You slid into the underwear, and fixed your brassiere, noting that it didn’t have a wire, just how you like it. You wonder if Alastor had told her. The clothes Vaggie gave you were pretty, and you easily put it on. 
Once you fixed your hair, you put a bit of lipstick on, enough for your lips to have a bit of color before you exited your husband’s room, bounding down the stairs to the foyer.
You noticed Charlie before she saw you, and you began to descend the stairs quicker. In your haste, however, your foot missed a step going down, leading to you to quickly plummet. You let out a cry at the sudden descent to the bottom floor, one that would obviously be painful, when you felt two pairs of arms wrap around you.
“Woah there belle , why are you in such a hurry?” You glance up, eyes widening at the demon above you. He was absolutely towering, roughly 8 feet tall if you were asked. He retracted his second set of arms, and you struggled to get your bearings. The demon was stunning, he was nothing like your husband, but it was obvious he got many compliments and other demons after him.
You realized that you haven’t said anything in response, and Charlie had come jogging towards you to check on you. Stuttering, you assured the sinner that you were okay thanks to him catching you, and in response he introduced himself as Angel Dust. 
Thankfully, instead of pressing you about your awkward silence, Angel let Charlie whisk you away, and she excitedly mentioned that Alastor was cooking in the kitchen. The way she spoke made you realize that he more than likely never did so, which was shocking. When you two were alive, he almost always cooked. 
When you asked him why, he simply said that he loves to watch you eat what he cooks you. Previously, you thought it was just because he didn’t like how you cooked food...
Shaking your head, you focused on the present, strolling into the kitchen with Charlie still fervently talking. 
“Alastor is cooking up some food that he said you’ll certainly enjoy- but I never heard of it! It seems really good though. I’m mostly accustomed to popularized foods.” She admitted, cheeks flushing in embarrassment.
You nod, smiling. “It’s understandable. From what you told me, you were born in Hell?”
Charlie confirmed it with a nod, smiling. She was a bit bashful at her lack of knowledge about Earth, however you just told it was truly fine, and expected even considering she never lived a life up there.
When Charlie was inevitably distracted by her girlfriend, Vaggie, you walked over to Alastor, who was humming a tune that was just barely audible. 
“Good morning darling.” He said without even turning, causing you to blink. You hesitated to approach further, considering how busy your husband looked. At the end of your inner turmoil though, you decided to waltz up right beside him, peering over his shoulder at the stove top. “Beignets.”
You looked at him. “Beignets?”
He gave you a toothy grin. “Is that not what I just said, dear? I made beignets. Don’t tell me all those years in Heaven caused you to forget your favorite dish...”
You shook your head quickly, nearly breaking your neck as you scanned the kitchen. “Where?” You questioned, nearly salivating at the mere thought of soft beignets that were undoubtedly covered with loads of powdered sugar. Did he drizzle honey on top as well? You swallowed audibly, and Alastor let out a laugh.
“You must be starving.” He remarked, and you couldn’t help the fact your stomach traitorously made a loud noise. “Wow, you really must be hungry! I could give you a dessert right in front of everyone...” He petered off, a growl in his throat as he stared at your exposed throat. “However, I think breakfast will do. Shouldn’t have sweets on an empty stomach.”
You can’t help yourself as you give your husband a faux glare, pouting a bit. You wish the other hotel members weren’t here, and you were able to just have him... But the smell of egg sardou was always appealing. 
When you were seated at the long dining table, you expected breakfast to be a quiet affair. You were terribly wrong. Charlie gave you an apologetic glance as she tried to calm down Angel and Sir Pentious who managed to get into an argument. You tried to focus on plating your food, but Nifty kept fixing the platters of food, muttering about how it wasn’t clean enough.
Your husband was obviously miffed by this, and you noticed he took it almost as an insult to his cooking. In your peripheral, you saw how Vaggie began to comfort her girlfriend who was increasingly looking distressed at the fact breakfast was going awry. 
You blinked, your resolve setting at that final scene. Without uttering a word, you stood up, slamming your serving spoon and fork down at the table. The commotion instantly quieted, and you began to move from your seat, fixing everyone’s posture and position with their silverware. They were absolutely wild in your mind, with some of them using the dessert spoon instead of the dinner spoon, or mixing up the salad fork with the serving fork. Your patience was running thin, and all you wanted was a peaceful breakfast.
“Elbows off the table.” You said, voice echoing against the walls as you strolled around the perimeter of the dining table. “Like that, yes.” You stopped in front of your seat, and glared at the others. “I expect this breakfast to be fine. Not perfect, but fine. I don’t want to be interrupted by your barbaric behavior. You’re in this hotel to be redeemed, and if not to be redeemed, you’re helping. Act like it.”
You sat down, and began serving yourself some of the egg sardou as chatter quietly picked up, obviously trying to heed what you said. Annoyance crept up on you, but you resolved to just focus on eating. Charlie had told you that she needed to speak to you after the meal, and you were pretty excited about what your new found friend had in mind.
The plates that littered the table were surely a sight. Despite the party being only a few people, Alastor still made sure to make a good amount of food. He graciously cooked up some of your favorite dishes when you two were alive, one of your favorites being egg sardou. You adored how he made it, and always cooked the eggs just enough. You never really liked your yolks that were super gooey, complaining to Alastor how it always made you nauseous. When he inquired, you said your brain always thought it wasn’t cooked if the yolk wasn’t partially cooked. Despite that, you told him you still loved the dish.
To remedy this issue, when he made it he poached the eggs for longer than necessary, and you absolutely loved it. You cut into the dish, mouth watering as the steam from the egg rose into the air, the hollandaise sauce rolling off the egg and onto your plate. You noticed how the creamed spinach part of the food wasn’t soaking, like most restaurants usually do. You hated the feel of soggy spinach, especially considering it’s supposed to be creamed spinach. 
Taking a bite, you almost moaned, covering your mouth as you chewed your food delicately. You looked up, noticing how everyone was staring at you, minus Alastor who had risen from his seat to lay a napkin on your lap.
Swallowing your food, you flushed. “I apologize! I was truly hungry, and forgot to lay my napkin...”
Angel blinked, before speaking up. “That’s not why we’re staring at you, toots.”
You tilted your head in confusion, before the snake sinner, Sir Pentious spoke up.
“You look utterly graceful, (Name). It’ssss something we’re not truly used to.” He said, enunciating his s’s. You felt your cheeks heat up, and glance down.
“I must give you guys an apology,” You started quietly. “I was harsh with my wording and actions earlier. I was just purely frustrated by the fact breakfast couldn’t have been a peaceful affair... along with the horrendous usage of silverware. ” You utter the last parts, almost inaudible. However Charlie heard it, and giggled. 
You glanced at her, embarrassment creeping up on you. “Don’t apologize.” She said, grinning widely. “I should be sorry, this is my hotel, and technically everyone here is under my discretion, and I couldn’t get them to behave properly.”
You shook your head, smiling too. “They aren’t children, Charlie.” You told her, turning back to your food. “I don’t expect you to carry that much responsibility. And I don’t mind helping out a bit either, with my knowledge on mannerisms and proper dining etiquette.”
The two of you smiled at one another, and you began to eat again, the conversation picking up speed now that everyone was content. You used the tongs in the middle to grab at two beignets, noting how Alastor’s eyes followed your movements. You felt flustered at your husband witnessing just how hungry you truly were, especially for his cooking. He always urged you to eat until you were comfortably sated back on Earth, yet you cannot help yourself from limiting your intake. 
Beauty standards then were pressuring, and you didn’t want to be called a pig, especially when you were wed to a radio personality... one widely known throughout New Orleans... 
Yet with his silent urging now, and the lack of judging looks from the others, you grabbed two more. The beignets were still hot from being in the oven, and when you gently tore into them, the pastry itself was light and fluffy. Powdered sugar dusted your fingers in an instant, and you tore a small piece off, popping it in your mouth. You scanned the table, going to wipe your hands with a napkin, before Alastor appeared. 
Or rather, his shadow appeared, and the shadow grabbed the honey jar, using the specific honey dipper that was made out of smooth wood, polished perfectly to avoid any wood shavings in the sticky sweetness. You were pretty much in awe as the shadow drizzled the honey over the steaming beignets, and you felt your face flush when a hand gently swiped the powder sugar from your lip with a napkin.
In an instant, that moment was broken, and you were left feeling absolutely confused at the intimate interaction.
You didn’t let it show though, and began to eat in earnest, your stomach silently begging for food. If a noise was made, you feared you would have been so mortified that you would pass out. While you thought, you jolted at a small pressure against your clothed sex. You glared at Alastor, who gave you a wicked grin. The pressure against your cunt was obviously fingers, rubbing light circles against your clit through the fabric, yet you saw Alastor’s hands right there...
You flushed, and your mouth opened to let out a noise, before Alastor spoke up. “My my, Charlie! Weren’t you going to tell us about your delightful run in with a certain overlord the other day?” His grin was sharp, and you heaved a breath as Charlie perked up, beginning to talk to the entire table.
Shuddering, you inhaled sharply, which made Vaggie look over at you. You let out a shaky laugh, waving her off. She narrowed her eyes at you, then at Alastor, before turning to her pancakes.
You try to focus on something else, you truly did. You didn’t want to reach your peak in front of all your new found acquaintances and friends. Your breathing was unsteady, and you felt your thighs tremble as you inched towards your high.
“ Alastor! ” You hissed quietly, but he only smiled at your fidgeting self. The fingers slid past your panties, touching deep in your most intimate parts.
You couldn’t help yourself as you let out a soft whimper. Charlie looked at you in confusion, before vocalizing her concern. “Are you okay (Name)?”
“Fine!” You said between gritted teeth, blinking away the tears of pleasure as you were almost driven to the edge. “I’m quite fine, Charlie, thank you.” You grasped the edge of the table, biting your lip to stop your noises.
Charlie turned away, gathering everyone else’s attention from your off behavior to her, as she bursted out in a song. You wished you were fully focused on her, but the constant touches caused you to instead focus on orgasming and get Alastor to stop.
You let out a series of small ah’s before you orgasmed against the fingers, walls squeezing and relaxing around them. You wiped your sweat from your brow, and inhaled deeply. Charlie had apparently finished her song, about something you weren’t able to tell. It did what you needed, attention off you.
Alastor just gave you a toothy smile, then began to keep eating.
The rest of breakfast went by in a daze for you, with you eating your fill. You felt amazing afterwards, and had walked to the adjourned wash area. There wasn’t any toilet or bidet around, instead just a sink that was mounted into the wall. A full length mirror was to the left of the sink, and above was another mirror, purely for touching up the face. You turned to the right, where most of the cleaning supplies and cabinets were taking space. It was tidy, and when you opened the cabinet, there were a few drugs disguised as over the counter medicine.
You feared you overstepped, and quickly washed your hands. There was a hand towel next to the cabinet, but upon closer inspection you realized it was for cleaning, notably due to the overwhelming smell of bleach and other chemicals on it.
Exiting the small space, you gently shook your hands, finding no other way to dry them without a towel. “Oh! (Name)!” You startle, and Charlie runs up to you, presenting a small hand towel so you can get the remaining moisture from your hands. “Are you busy at the moment?”
“No,” You said softly, facing her fully. “Why do you ask?”
Charlie pocketed the slightly damp hand towel. “I wanted to know if you wish to run some errands with me? I think it’ll be fun to do, and we can talk on the way.”
In truth, you had wanted to spend time with your husband, but with the way Charlie gazed at you, longing for a female friend like yourself... you caved, eventually.
“Alright,” You agreed readily. She smiled, and directed you up into the more comfortable washroom, explaining that you should wear something sweet smelling to mask.
You were confused, but grateful for the fact you were in a larger bathroom. You took a moment to preen your wings before you folded them up, and they disappeared within your back easily. The marble top was littered in feminine products, like a curling iron and some hair ties. Among those items was a beautiful perfume bottle, and a note with clear handwriting. ‘ For you.’ 
Taking the glass bottle in your hands, you examined it, almost gasping as you touched the engraving in the bottle. It clearly had ‘ No. 5 Chanel Paris’ on it, but you almost couldn’t believe it. When you and Alastor were alive, you had seen it in the shops after it debuted. You told him that one day, you were going to buy it, and he promised that he’ll buy it for you in the near future, after he saved enough money.
That day never came.
Blinking your tears away, you spritz the scent lightly, inhaling the citrusy smell. When you took another breath of the perfume, you noticed the more subtle notes, flowers.
After you fully freshened up, you met Charlie down at the foyer, where she explained that this errand was truly easy to do, just tedious.
When you inquired, Charlie opted to glance away, whistling a soft tune instead. You narrowed your eyes at her behavior, before shrugging it off, choosing to ask her later when you two were out of the hotel’s range. Alastor had seen you two off, with him pressing a feathery light kiss against the back of your hand, eyeing you carefully.
You blushed deeply at this action, and chose instead to look away from your husband, who still manages to fluster you through death.
Charlie whisked you away after that, and after idle chat, she seemed to get more serious. “You know the extent of what Alastor has done, right (Name)?”
You frowned, shaking your head. “No. He never told me. Why?”
She seemed to pause at this, her steps faltering, before she continued her slightly brisk pace. “Well,” Charlie started, fixing her bangs as she looked at you. “He’s killed people.”
“I’m aware.” You smile wryly. “He’s a serial killer... heard a few sinners talking about him.”
“Yeah, but he also...”
“What?”
Charlie seems to lose her confidence in her words, instead opting to remain silent for a few long seconds, until she spoke up, finishing her sentence. “He also eats people.”
That stopped you, this time. You stared at her, absolutely bewildered at her statement. “Pardon?”
“It’s true! I saw him eat demons before-”
“I don’t wish to know that!” You cried out, groaning lightly. You rub your head, and begin to walk again, with Charlie stepping in pace with you. “Gosh Charlie....”
She had the decency to look upset at your own expressions. “I’m sorry, I just wanted you to know-”
You smile placatingly at her, before groaning again. “Wow.”
“Do you still truly love him, though? Despite that?”
You pondered her words. Did you? And in that exact moment, before you thought any further, the answer came to you. You turned to her, and she looked at you with expecting eyes.
“I told him in my vows that nothing he has done, or will do, will ruin my love for him as long as he doesn't hurt me. And he never hurt me. Even if he ate people, and murdered, he never hurt me, and he loves me. So if he loves me truly and genuinely, then I love him truly and genuinely too. I love Alastor, Charlie.”
She smiled, and gathered you in her arms, hugging you tightly. “Sorry, I just needed to know.”
You laugh wetly. “You’re forgiven, Ms. Morningstar.”
Charlie giggled, scrunching her nose. “Ew, don’t call me that. Makes me feel all high and mighty.”
“Are you not?” You jest, and Charlie grins at your words.
She stops soon though, glancing at her watch. “Well, I have to actually run errands.”
You froze, staring at her. “Was we not about to do that on this trip?”
Charlie turns away, whistling again.
“Charlie!”
She laughs. “Sorry! Well, not really. I wanted to make sure you were okay. I do have to run errands now, but I'll take you back to the hotel so you can spend the day with Al!”
You sigh, and give her a loose gripped hug. “Thanks, Charlie.”
“Don’t mention it.” She started. “I’ll support you no matter what, (Name).”
After a couple minutes of walking in silence, Charlie began to speak again. “By the way, you should tell Alastor to not engage while the others are around.”
You were heavily confused, and stared at her. “What?”
Her cheeks darkened. “Be, uh, proper at the table...”
“I’m not following.” You stated simply as Charlie got more flustered, biting her lip a bit.
“I sang to keep the attention off you.” She said instead, and you instantly flushed, embarrassment coursing through your veins. You opened your mouth to hurl apologies, but she shook her head. “It’s okay, it seemed like it was mostly Alastor’s plan to engage you anyways.”
You groaned. “Terrible you witnessed it.”
She smirked. “Yeah I wasn’t too much of a fan to know that my employee and new friend were getting it out underneath the table.”
“Oh my goodness, don’t phrase it like that!” You playfully whacked her as she laughed. “This is so embarrassing.”
Charlie gently rubbed your back, smiling. “Not anymore embarrassing than my emo phase.”
“ You had an emo phase!? ” You nearly shrieked, and Charlie cackled at your reaction. 
“I won’t show you a photo.”
You nearly whined. “Why not?” Jutting your lower lip out, you looked at her with wide eyes.
She looked away, before finally caving. “Ok, fine, maybe some time this week.”
When the two of you arrived at the hotel, Alastor was waiting by the entrance for you. You bid Charlie a farewell as she turned around to run actual errands. Alastor gives you his elbow and you hold onto it, smiling lightly at the gentleman's actions he always did for you.
Both of you slowly ascended the stairs from the foyer, your steps confident and direct. Alastor let you lead slightly, before he understood where you wanted to go. His dwellings.
He opened the door, and you helped yourself in, sitting down on his bed. Alastor closed the door after the two of you, choosing to dim the lights instead of turning them up fully. The glow it casted the entire space was minimal, but you could clearly see Alastor, so you took his hands, gazing at him. 
“What have you done?”
Your question was simple, and you knew Alastor was anticipating it, because he gently squeezed your hands, before dropping them.
“I killed my father.” You had always wondered where Alastor’s father was. You were always told by Alastor himself that he decided to leave the family after welcoming you in. It didn’t make much sense, in your opinion, but it was Alastor’s father, not yours, so you took his words as the truth. In retrospect, you should have prodded more, with what Alastor was telling you now.
“That was the first time I killed; then there was that man you call your friend-” James? “-after that was your other suiter, who almost stole you away from me-” Luke. “-that nasty gal who dared to slap my wife-” Patsy! “-and then strangers, people you do not know.”
You were appalled at what he was revealing. Charlie had only briefed you, but you were truly unaware that your doting husband, your lover, was one of the most wanted serial killers at that time. The biggest one in New Orleans.
“I only ate two of them...” You were horrified. “The rest was buried, truly. Or disposed of in the worst way possible.”
He looked at you, an odd look in his eyes. “Do you regret being married to me?”
You pause for a moment, reflecting on yourself. You don’t hate him, and he never hurt you, and in some sick twisted way this was his expression of love for you. Killing the people who hurt you. He loved you so much that he had killed, just for you, and made sure that you were never an accomplice by sheltering any and all knowledge that it happened.
So you did not regret being married to him, but instead, you fell more in love with him, with the way he loved you fervently. 
“I love you.” Was all you uttered, and Alastor pounced on you in that instant, kissing you passionately. You let out a stifled moan at the suddenness of his actions, but you felt overjoyed knowing how much he cared and adored you.
Alastor pulled you closer, nipping at your sensitive skin, his eyes shifting from your form to your lips as he kissed you again. “ I am... ” He began, voice husky as you let out a startled yelp, his claws gripping your hips. Your eyes widened in surprise, then you moaned out wantonly as he pulled your legs further up, resting on his shoulders. “ Utterly devoted to you, darling... ” Your breath hitched and he moved down from your face to your thighs, nipping right at the skin resting against his cheek. “ And I will shower you with affection... When our time on Earth is up... ”
You realized that he was saying his vows after your muddled mind began to process, and he was saying it in his language, in French.
Your breath caught as he licked a long stripe against your soak underwear, a whine bursting past your lips. “ I refuse to let Heaven nor Hell bring us apart, and know that I will do everything in my power to see you, if not for one last time, if our paths were meant to part.... ”
“Alastor!” You moaned, as he snapped his fingers, your underwear disappearing quickly. The air instantly made you shiver with your now exposed dripping sex  in view of your husband. “Shit!”
“ Darling.... ” He growled, the static that was present in his voice dropping, allowing his barely noticeable southern drawl to appear. With the transatlantic accent dropped, you could almost moan at the fact he was truly himself, if not for this one moment with you two. “I love you.”
You never heard him say that before, and you felt tears slowly roll down your cheeks as you sniffled, so emotionally overwhelmed with everything that has happened. You loved him so much, and in your marriage, you never heard him say it back at all, until now.
“I love you too,” You choked out, gasping as he shoved his tongue into your cunt, and you saw how he relished the way you wriggled and heaved from the pleasure that was coursing through your veins.
“You’ll never see Heaven again,” He whispered, and you thought that he hadn’t said that, you were purely starting to hear things until he spoke up again. “I will never let them have you, not when I got you back. My darling, my wife. The light of my life, I will keep you here with me forever.” He was rambling now, almost incoherent, especially with his face in your cunt, juices dripping onto his lower face.
You were no better, an absolute mess above him. Yet, when Alastor looked up, utter adoration flooded his face, and he gently nipped at the top of your mound, before angling his head, carefully nibbling your clit. You howled in ecstasy, letting out a heavy moan as your hips thrusted into his mouth, then tried to push back into the mattress to get away from the constant stimulation. However, Alastor held fast, licking and slurping the small bud, causing you to jerk and heave in his hold, your toes curling as you shut your eyes, allowing yourself to feel the pleasure as it is.
“Good girl.” He growled, sucking the bud into his mouth, and you let out a hoarse noise, gripping his hair, and then you pulled, causing him to groan into your cunt. 
He repositioned one of his hands that was holding your thighs, angling it at your cunt, before he thrusted two fingers inside. You flinched in pain, and noticing your hurt movements, he pulled the fingers out, instead thrusting his middle finger in. With a steady pace, he began to thrust the digit in and out, pulling his body up to kiss your neck as he did so. “Such a good little wife for me. You’re my perfect wife, right?” He muttered, looking at you as he did so.
You groaned, and nodded. “For you- I’ll be anything you want.” You begged, bucking your hips and biting the inside of your cheek. 
A second finger appeared alongside the first one, and he coaxed you to take it, like the good wife you were. You flushed at his words, and clenched around both fingers. Alastor moved down again, stopping right at your abdomen, and moved his free hand to rest right above your skin. “Are you ready for the main course?” He questioned, and at your fervent nod, his ever present grin widened as far as it can go. 
Fear coursed through your veins, along with pleasure as you saw him slowly morph, his body doubling in size and his eyes becoming glowing radio dials, staring straight at you. His antlers that were usually hidden by his hair, elongated and you were now in such a position where instead of gripping his hair, you could grip at the antlers.
“Al....” You whispered, but he hushed you opting to instead rip all your clothes off. The shreds of your clothing littered the bed, and you silently apologized to Vaggie in your head for the now ruined clothing.
Alastor’s pants were quickly unzipped, and soon enough his cock laid on your stomach. You instantly paled when you glanced down, as you took in just how sizable your lover was in this new form. “Alastor.”
He made a small noise, eyes staring at you. “It’s not going to fit Alastor- You’re going to break me!” You whispered, your eyes staying on his length. The tip was leaking right by your belly button, and you whimpered. He was going to break you on his dick.
“ It’ll fit. ” Was all he said, and you let out a gasp when he slowly began bullying the tip of his thick cock into your pussy. Whimpers and pleads filled the room, but when he stopped, giving you a look, you realized you really don’t want him to stop. 
Alastor leaned in, tapping your sternum twice, and then looked at you. You blinked, before remembering that your safe word when you two were alive was necklace. You shook your head, and he continued, disregarding your pained sounds unless you said the word.
You never did, of course, because you truly wanted this, and if the pain became too much you would speak up. 
“Alastor!” You gritted your teeth, and he panted above you, his cock fully inside you now. While you focused on relaxing and breathing, he put a clawed hand on top of your abdomen. You glanced at him, and let out a startled moan as he pressed against the slight bulging of your skin.
“ Look how deep I am inside you, darling. ” You whimpered, and he pulled out almost completely, inhaling the scent of you at the base of your neck, before growling. “ Heaven won’t take you away. You’re mine.”
You moaned, agreeing completely. You won’t go back to Heaven, not when you have your husband. “Alastor, fuck me.”
He smirked, and began thrusting into your tight wet heat. You were rocked with every thrust, staccato ah ’s leaving your mouth as his hips slapped against your ass.
You knew what you signed up for, truly. You were well aware that you probably wouldn’t be able to walk for a day or two, and bruises would line your thighs and ass. But you loved it, really, the fact that Alastor marked you up so much.
“Harder,” You sobbed, pleasure overwhelming you. You hardly noticed when Alastor’s hand was at your clit, working circles against the small bud to increase your pleasure.
Groaning, you grasped his wrist. “M’close, I’m close-” You whispered harshly, rolling your hips into his ministrations, and you were right there--!
He stopped his thrusting, and you let out a slew of obscenities, glaring up at him. Alastor only gave you a smaller smile, cheeky as his form slowly went back to normal one. You were especially confused when his cock hadn’t decreased in size at all.
“I got a bit rough with you there, apologies, my doe.”
You blinked, huffing. “Just continue fucking me, Alastor!”
He smiled. “No.” No!? He can’t just tell you no! You feared he was about to leave you high and dry, gripping his blazer as you opened your mouth.
“I’m not going to fuck you.” You growled. “I much rather make... love... with you.”
Freezing, you shifted a bit, letting out a small noise at the feel of him still inside you. “Do it, then.” You beamed, kissing his nose. 
Alastor let out a small laugh at your change of demeanor, almost instantly, but leaned fully over you, repositioning his legs. He gently cradled your head with his left hand, and his right hand hiked your leg up. 
He rolled his hips into you at a steady pace, kissing you passionately. You bit his lip, and his grip got rough as he slid his tongue into your mouth.
You were sloppily kissing him, panting and parting for a few seconds before slotting your mouths together again. His pace stayed slow and sensual, and soon enough you felt your orgasm come back, slowly but surely building up in intensity.
“Rub my-” He hushed you with another peck to the mouth, his hand from your thigh going between your legs to rub your clit again. 
Your noises were soft and erotic, and Alastor couldn’t help but get harder, his own cheeks getting a soft tint of redness to them. 
“My little doe... won’t you cum for your husband? Prove how much of a good girl you are?”
You loudly moaned, bucking your hips into his as the thrusts got faster. You orgasmed soon after, the waves of pleasure never stopping as he forced you into overstimulation, staring you down as you writhed in his grip. 
“More?”
A loud mewl came from your mouth as you pulled him back down to kiss you again. “More, Alastor, don’t stop-”
He smirked at the idea of spilling cum all over your plush body underneath him, but with the way you were begging, he knew you would want it inside you. For him to breed you until you were completely full of his seed, and then some.
“Come here, darling.” Alastor began to kiss you fervently again, losing his rhythm as he jackhammered inside you. “ I’m going to breed you, and you’ll carry my child in your womb. You’ll have to walk around the hotel with everyone knowing that you’re mine. You’re the Radio Demon’s wife, and no one can have even a bit of you. ”
“Fuck! Alastor!” You reached your peak again, thighs trembling around his hips as he pulled you roughly down, thick ropes of cum spurted into your womb as you tried to catch your breath. 
He languidly thrusted a few more times, fucking the cum inside you. You tiredly looked at him as he propped your hips up with a pillow. “Round two?”
“ Tomorrow. ” You huffed. You were exhausted at the moment. “Please...”
Alastor smiled, and just laid down next to you, cuddling you into his body. You didn’t expect him to do such a thing, considering everything you heard about your husband now, but he only kissed you and told you to rest.
“You dote on me a lot...” You murmured, trying to stay awake for a few more minutes.
Silence filled the room for a while, before he spoke up, right before you fell asleep. “I care about you, (Name). I’ll only show this to you and our child.”
You turned to him, kicking the pillow from under you so you can wiggle your leg between his. “Could I even get pregnant down here?”
Alastor smirked and rubbed your abdomen. “I hope so.”
You rolled your eyes in mock exasperation, pulling him in for a soft kiss. 
“Stay here, in Hell. Please, (Name).” He spoke quietly. 
You just squeezed his hand. “I plan to.”
Alastor leaned in, giving you a kiss on your forehead before you had drifted off to sleep.
if only i was good at formatting with tumblr. (it hates me)
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honeyedmiller · 3 months
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Sweet Thing | Joel Miller
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pairing: jackson!joel x sunshine!f!reader
rating: 18+, minors dni
warnings: jackson!joel, smut (unprotected piv), sweet pet names, sex in a semi-public spot, sort of getting caught, no specified ages mentioned. no use of y/n.
word count: 863
synopsis: the most unlikely pair in jackson just can’t get enough of each other.
divider by @saradika-graphics
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“J-Joel,” You whimper, gripping onto his impossibly huge biceps. The fabric of his flannel felt scratchy underneath your desperate touch, and the scrape of the wiry hair on his jaw set your skin on fire.
His teeth nipped at your ear as the heavy drag of his cock came to a nearly unbearable halt; the deep timbre of his voice, even when it’d dwindled down to a mere whisper, sent shivers down your spine.
“Gotta be quiet, sweet thing. Can’t have anyone catchin’ us now, can we?” You bite your lip as he starts to move his hips again, slowly thrusting into you once more.
The squelching sound was so obscene that if your moans and whines didn’t give you away, your arousal would.
It was ironic that you two had found solace in each other. Jackson’s token ray of sunshine and the ever brooding Joel Miller: the most unlikely match there was. It was never meant to happen, but it just… did.
Being around Joel was easy. The man had such a soft spot for you. You’d been nothing but kind and gentle with him when everyone else was afraid. You carried a sparkle in your eye every time you laid your eyes on him, and that’s when he knew. He knew he had to have you.
If the residents of Jackson found out the both of you had been sneaking around the past few months, they’d all lose their minds. There’s no way they’d be able to puzzle together the pieces of your so-called ‘relationship’ with him, but you suspected at least Ellie had a hunch. The girl was smart and had been onto you two for as long as this had gone on.
You couldn’t help yourself, though. Being with a man that only reserved his soft side for you and his fortuitous daughter had you falling faster than you could keep up with, and at first, it truly terrified you.
You succumbed to his pure charm and good looks, though, which is how you ended up here—fucking in a broom closet in the Tipsy Bison because you chose to wear the pretty dress you found on patrol one day that Joel loved oh so much.
The slow drag of his heavy cock had you muffedly crying out his name, the feeling of it too much and not enough all at once. The man was all-consuming, invading every single sense that you had. It was intoxicating and purely addictive, and you don’t think you’ll ever get enough of him.
“Fuck, baby. Pussy was fuck’n made for me. Y’feel so goddamn good.” Joel’s words are slightly slurred behind his clenched teeth, trying to control his own sounds of pure bliss.
“Joel—” You cry again as he picks up his pace, and he has to cover your mouth with his hand because you cannot control yourself. He made you feel good in a way that nobody else ever has.
“I know baby, I know. Hush up now n’ take what I’m givin’ ya like the good girl I know y’are.” He coos, kissing your temple as he begins to thrust into you skillfully, tilting his body up so his cock hits your g-spot every single time.
Your eyebrows threaded together as your legs started to shake, your impending orgasm licking a flame up your spine as it threatened to spill over. Just like a match to a matchbox, Joel kept dragging and dragging and dragging until you lit aflame. The devastatingly delicious euphoria that ran through your body was truly unmatched as you convulsed around him, cries now muffled by his lips on yours.
His thrusts became sporadic, pulling out of you before grabbing a rag from a shelf to come onto. Not his finest moment, but he didn’t want to ruin that pretty dress of yours or leave any evidence of your intimate endeavors.
Joel cages you in between his arms as his hands rest on either side of your head against the wall behind you. He buries his face in your neck, catching his breath as he leaves tiny pecks along your pulse point. You mindlessly wrap your fingers around the back of his neck, gently dragging your fingertips against his hot skin while he took some time to recollect himself.
You giggle softly into his ear, kissing his neck once.
“That was fun.” You say, and Joel’s face moves to be in front of yours again. A rare smile curls onto his lips as he rests his forehead against yours, rubbing his nose against your own.
“My sweet girl.” He whispers with a chuckle laced into his words, kissing you once more before tucking his cock back into his jeans. He bends down to pull your panties back up and pulls your dress down past your hips, straightening you out so you don’t look completely fucked out.
Joel turns the knob to the closet, opening the door slowly.
“We gotta stop doing that in public places though, or else we’ll get caught.” You huff.
“Too late.” Tommy’s voice snaps both of your heads in his direction, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face as Joel’s burns bright red.
Shit.
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tags: @party-hearses ; @ilovepedro ; @bastardmandennis ; @tinygarbage ; @nostalxgic ; @cool-iguana ; @amanitacowboy
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bouncybongfairy · 1 month
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Freezer Burn
Prince Zuko x Fem Reader Smut
Summary: Tensions are running high which causes a argument between Zuko and yourself. He bruises the confidence you have in your hunting abilities and reaffirms your fear of being a burden. Wanting to prove otherwise, you go out in the cold to hunt. Feeling guilty about how he treated you, he goes out to find you. The two of you find some innovative ways to keep warm.
Word Count: 2.0k+
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
Everyone was having a rough day of travel, even Appa was reaching his limit. It was freezing and the optimism of finding a warm place to sleep was fading in everyone. Anng found a small cave that would work for the night. It was on a small mountain and overlooked an even smaller village. Zuko started making a fire while Katara and yourself set up the tents. Yang and Sokka were already asleep, curled into Appa’s thick fur. You were hungry but so was everyone else. 
“Are we going to be able to hunt for food soon? Or get some water?” you asked. 
“We could but I don’t think the cold would allow us to be out there for long. Not to mention there wouldn’t be any animals out, it's just too cold,” she said. 
“Not to mention you’d barely come home with anything in good weather,” Zuko grumbled, poking at the fire. He’d been making cracks at you all day, at first you could ignore him. Excusing his behavior on fatigue and hunger pains, but now you were taking it personally. 
“You’re not a prince among us, so stop acting like it” you say in hopes of lowering his ego.
“I am the best fighter and hunter, the past two battles you’ve only slowed us down. Maybe if we had a successful kill earlier we wouldn’t be hungry now,” he said. 
“Zuko don’t say that!” Katara snapped. 
All day you’d been beating yourself up over that mistake. Deep down you knew the rest of the group was irritated about you costing them the meal earlier. It just reaffirmed your insecurity. Grabbing your bow and arrows, you start putting your clothes back on while preparing for a hunt. 
“We’re all really tired and yes we may be hungry but you’re not the sole reason for that. Zuko is obviously just grumpy, don’t let his outburst get to you,” she says, grabbing your arm. 
Deep down you wanted to listen and calm down, rest for a while. Your pride however wouldn’t allow you to stop yourself. As you left, you could hear Katara yelling at Zuko to apologize. The feeling of dread bubbled in your stomach, you didn’t want to make anyone worry but your ego was clouding your judgment. Everyone in the group had their own ways of helping and at times you did feel like a burden. Extra weight that Appa had to carry on his back. It wasn’t that you were mad about what Zuko said, you were more frustrated that it was true. At this point it felt like you’d been walking for hours. The snow was coming down hard, without any signs of lightning. Not eating and your lack of rest was starting to get to you. Your stomach felt like it was eating away at itself. Eyes burning and muscles starting to stiffen from the cold penetrating your clothes. You tried not to go too far, knowing you couldn’t carry an animal in the cold that far. But you had to get some distance between you and the cave in order to find any wild game. Finally spotting a young Moose Lion, looking lost and confused, you almost hesitated when readying your bow. After successfully hitting the animal, your body floods with adrenaline. This quickly fades as you realize you’ll have to drag the thing home. Seemingly underestimating the size which caused a struggle when walking back. Even though it was freezing, you’d broken into a sweat. Starting to feel lightheaded, you took a moment to catch your breath. 
Katara was pacing at the entrance of the cave, anxious for your arrival. He wouldn’t admit it, but Zuko was feeling his own regret about how he’d spoken to you. He didn’t mean to let his anger get the best of him, it just sort of happened. 
“I think I should go out to look for her, she could be freezing to death,” she said, starting to get dressed.
“You can’t, it’s a full blown blizzard,” Zuko said, standing up. 
“Well we can’t just leave her to die out there!” Katara snaps, upset that he would even suggest stopping her from leaving. 
“I know, but only a fire bender would have the resources to survive such severe weather. I’ll go,” he said, making the fire sustainable for the time he’d be gone for. 
“Just be careful,” Katara said as he walked into the cold.
Once he felt just how bad it was outside, his guilt intensified. It wasn’t true what he said about you being a burden. He was just feeling insecure about his own place in the group. Simply projecting his inner turmoil onto you. Knowing it pushed you this far was getting to him. He took a deep breath and started following the faint track you left. Even though a fresh layer of snow was now covering the foot prints, it was still enough to follow. At times Zuko would use his fire for warmth and light. Getting desperate, he began calling your name out. Fatigue was starting to affect him as well. He finally thought he saw you, laying against the animal. He assumed you were just pulling the arrow out but when he got closer he noticed you were passed out. He immediately started assessing you, looking around knowing he had to find shelter that was closer than the rest of the group. Using his fire, he melts a coating of snow and ice, covering a small cave. The animal luckily kept you warm while he wasn’t there but he was still worried about your fingers. They had practically no color and your lips were tinted blue. Once he got you inside the cave, next to the fire he created, he brought the animal in. Impressed that you shot it right through the chest. Taking off his outer layers and bundling you up in them. He was relieved to see the color coming back to your fingertips and cheeks. Checking every once in a while to make sure you were getting too close and burning yourself. 
The two of you wouldn’t be able to make the trip back any time soon, so Zuko began skinning and sectioning off the meat. Washing his hands with melted snow he was slowly collecting. As he roasted the meat, he couldn’t help but admire your beauty. Your eyelashes were long and the light from the fire was illuminating your face. Sleeping with your lips slightly parted, hair completely unraveled from the tight bun it once was in. After a couple hours, you slowly began to come too. Sitting up rubbing your eyes, Zuko rushes over to you.
“Are you okay?” he asks, brushing the hair out of your face. He grabbed a bowl of water, bringing it to your lips,
“Sit closer to the fire,” he said, helping you sit up fully. Still weak, you were wobbling while you sat criss-crossed. Still shivering a bit because your back was cold, not able to feel the heat from the fire. Zuko notices this and comes to sit behind you, stabilizing and warming you up. He was using a stick to roast the meat he’d prepared from the animal. It smelt really good, and was the only reason you were keeping your eyes open. He brought the stick to your lips but you were too weak to rip a piece off. Trying to bite a small chunk but not having the strength to actually get a bite. He laughs at your attempt and rips a small piece off, bringing it to your mouth. He repeated this a couple times, giving you sips of water in between. Letting you digest, he rests his chin on top of your head and keeps cooking. After eating, you could feel yourself gaining strength and energy. Becoming more aware of your surroundings.
“What happened?” you asked, looking around and noticing it was only you and Zuko. 
“You went out to hunt and passed out. I came looking for you but the storm was too powerful to travel back to camp with you and the kill. So we're camping here for the night,” he explained, adding more wood to the fire. 
That was when you slowly started putting the pieces of your memory back together. You were grateful to be sheltered now, definitely counting your blessings. Noticing that Zuko wasn’t wearing a shirt, you took off what he gave you. He accepted it but didn’t put it on right away, instead just laying it on his neck like a scarf. 
“I’m sorry for egging you on like that, and for not stopping you from leaving,” he said, moving his chin from your head to your collarbone. 
“It was my decision, I knew it wasn’t a good idea. It was my stubbornness that put both of us at risk,” you said. 
“I like that you're stubborn, that you don’t listen to people who underestimate you,” he said.
“I thought you hated me,” you chuckle. 
“I know that’s what I show but it couldn’t be further than the truth,” he spoke softly. 
“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” you asked, moving your back closer against his chest. 
“As mean as I’ve been, you always are so nice and understanding. Even when I don’t deserve it,” he said. 
“Zuko you always deserve it, you’re easy to love,” you say, turning to face him. 
His face was bright red and for the first time you were seeing his vulnerability. Just slightly, like he didn’t want to give too much away. You move his hair out of the way and look at his scar. Although he looked a little embarrassed, he tilted his head so you could get a full look. Without thinking, you started kissing the skin around his eye. He ended up catching your lips with his. Immediately you move so that you’re straddling his lap. His back was pressed against the wall of the cave, your back was facing the fire. Running your fingers through his hair, admiring how soft the strands were. He moaned into your mouth as you pulled and tugged. Rocking your hips against crotch, your stomach tightening after feeling him get hard. You take in a sharp intake of breath and narrow down, focusing on rubbing against his shaft. Zuko’s hips began to buck involuntarily, which led to his taking his pants off. You follow his lead and do the same, also removing your top. Using his hands to rock your hips against his. Partly because he liked spreading your wetness along himself but also enjoying watching your chest bounce. He takes one of your nipples into his mouth, you let out a strangled moan. The pleasure was so intense the rocking of your hips was becoming erratic. Seeing you react so intensely to his touch made him go somewhat feral. 
Flipping you over so your back is against the cold ground. He was feverishly kissing your neck and chest, at times making you giggle. He smiled down at you, taking in how beautiful your eyes were in the soft glow of the fire. Your entire body felt like it was burning down to your core. Pulling your knees to your chest, taking the hint he sat up. He was now towering above you, his member laying on your front. Leaking pre-cum onto your lower stomach. He grabs himself, slapping his dick on your pussy. Enjoying the moans and whines coming from your mouth every time he rubbed his tip against your clit. He enjoyed watching you beneath him, desperate for his touch. A relief only he could provide you. Unable to take any more foreplay, he presses into you. Muttering curses as he is overwhelmed by your heat. How tight you felt around him and your moans matching up with his movement made him feel overstimulated. Like he couldn’t slow his heart rate down. Watching as your tits bounced with every thrust, how braindead you were from pleasure. He presses his hands down on your stomach so he could feel this cock pounding in and out of you. The sudden pressure was enough to send you over the edge. Pulling Zuko down and raking your nails down his back, 
“Fuck!” he said it loud, right in your ear. 
His thrusts were unrelenting as he chased his orgasm. Groaning and moaning into your shoulder as he finally came. Rutting into you as he came inside you, pressing himself as close as he could be to you. Petting his hair and whispering encouraging things into his hair. He laid down beside you, pulling you into his chest before covering the two of you with a woven quilt. Giving the fire one last hit before drifting off to sleep with you.
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charliemwrites · 3 months
Text
Woof woof… whimper
(Part 10… but technically a continuation of part 9)
Same warnings as last time for dub con and general Johnny nastiness.
It takes your cock-addled brain a second too long to process what Soap’s just said. What he’s implied. And by then he’s all ready for you to buck against him, confused and angry.
“That’s so — that’s not funny!” You shout.
But he’s got you pinned thoroughly, your chest flat against the mattress and your ass flush against his hips. His cock buried so deep you can feel the hot head of it bullying the deepest parts of you. All your struggling does is make you clench up tight around him, makes him feel that much bigger and meaner inside you. Makes him grunt low and ragged in your ear, all animal appreciation.
“I’m not laughin’,” he replies, nipping at your shoulder.
“G-get off of me, get out, get—”
His hand slides into your hair again, gets a firm hold at the roots and presses your face into the blankets, muffling your protests. Shushes you like soothing a panicked animal.
“Now, now,” he chides, “I still gotta prove I’m not compensating, don’t I?”
You suck in a breath, squeezing your eyes shut. There have to be a million explanations other than the absolutely ludicrous one he’s just presented to you. Cameras, microphones….
How did he know where you live?
How did he know where the spare key was?
How did he know where your bedroom was?
How did he find you at the bar?
Stalker, you tell yourself. He’s a creep, you’ve always known that.
Then where’s your dog?
“N-no,” you warble, bucking again. Nearly scream as his cock twitches inside you; only reason you don’t is because you can barely breathe as it is. He’s so deep inside that he’s practically in your lungs. “No way you’re my — there’s no way. You’re crazy. I’m gonna— ah!”
He draws out as you speak, gradual, and then plunges in again all at once, cutting you off. Grinds his hips in a dirty circle too, burying himself as deep as he can.
“Aww, poor thing,” he coos. “S’alright, baby, I knew this would happen. We jus’ gotta get all those big, scary feelings out first. Then I can explain it all nice and slow.”
You try to scream at him. Try to curse him out, tell him there’s no way in hell you’re listening to a word he says now; never mind letting him spend another second with his dick in you.
All that comes out is a high-pitched keen as he starts fucking you without further preamble. It aches, but you can’t tell in what way. If it hurts, if it’s the best you’ve ever had. Both? Your nerves feel haywire, brain dragged to lust-stupid depths.
“See, there we go,” he rasps, punctuating with a sharp snap of his hips on that last word. “My perfect little mate. Your cunt was made for my cock, made to be bred by me. Isn’t that right?”
You try to shake your head, but his grip keeps you from doing more than sending electricity down your spine, hair pulled taut.
“Yeah it fucking is,” he growls to his own question, canting your hips back further. His fingers grip cruelly into the flesh, sure to leave bruises. You wish you didn’t enjoy the sensation, wish it didn’t make you spasm around him helplessly.
“‘Bout time I owned you right back, don’t you think?” He continues, never stopping or even slowing. You yelp as he tugs your necklace again, arching your back at a steep angle. “Even collared yourself up for me. All it needs is my name.”
Something about that drives some awful, slutty part of your brain fucking wild. The idea of you with a tight leather choker — a collar — with his name (you don’t think about what name) hanging from your throat…
“Like that, don’t you?” He chuckles meanly. “Who’s my good little slut? Who’s my perfect, soaked little breeding whore?”
Tears spring to your eyes as you realize the “I am” is right there on the tip of your over-saturated tongue. If you had air, brain cells, any ability at all, you’d be crying it to the ceiling like the toy he’s treating you as.
He’s going to ruin you, you think. He’s going to fuck you broken. You’re crying and wailing on his cock, think you’d actually throw a tantrum if he pulled out and left you on the edge right now. Would, you realize in horror, beg for him to keep going.
And then he snakes his hand around your hip and starts rubbing your clit — fast, hard little circles. Just the way you like; the way you’d do it yourself. Relentlessly and cruel, even when you try to writhe away from how fast you can feel yourself getting to the edge. Almost frightened by it, how quickly he’s mastered your body’s pleasure.
Frightened by the extra stimulation at your entrance, too. A little extra friction at first — shocking because you’re leaving a puddle on the sheets. But then the friction becomes pressure, becomes… more.
“W-wha….?” You slur, hips wriggling.
Soap (Johnny?) snarls in your ear and that feeling at your entrance grows. Feels, you realize with alarm, like stretching.
“Gonnae take my knot so well,” he rambles, accent thick like syrup, trickling into your empty brain, filling you up with meaningless sounds. “Plug you up full of my cum, breed you right just like you need.”
Any questions or confusion are whisked away by the extra stimulation at your entrance. The sensitive nerves getting just as much brutal attention as your inner walls, your cervix, that sweet spot inside you that makes your eyes roll back.
It all becomes too much all at once and crashes through you, devastating. You clamp down around him tight and needy, lean all your weight back into his thighs. And he practically howls as he sinks into you and stays, grinding and humping without ever actually pulling out again. You feel a flood of heat that seems to go on for an absurdly long time, cock pulsing against your overstimulated walls, milked for every last drop.
You shudder as your brain tries and fails to process it all. Like trying to decipher a foreign language from white noise. It’s nothing but static to you.
You can feel a tongue against your shoulder, scraped of blunt teeth. Soap/Johnny licking the sweat from your skin and nipping bruises into the flesh. You make an annoyed noise that comes out whinier than intended, shoving at his face.
“Get off, you bastard.” Your voice is pathetic, thick with tears and fractured in a hundred places.
“Can’t, bonnie, even if I wanted to.”
You scowl, try to look at him over your shoulder. He takes that opportunity to nuzzle against your temple.
“What?” You ask. “What are you talking about?”
“Did ye hear me?” He chuckles. “Well, maybe not with the way you were screamin’. You’re all knotted up, baby. Can’t pull out — ‘less you want this pretty pussy to tear.”
You jolt, nearly yank yourself off out of pure fear, but Johnny keeps you still again, humming.
“Easy now,” he croons. “Still fussy? Need another to settle down?”
Useless as your brain may be, it recognizes what he means by “another one.” You think you might pass out.
“No,” you snap, petulant even to your own ears. “I want you to explain… explain everything.”
“Alright, hen. C’mere.”
He gently lays you out prone on the bed, then rolls you both on your sides. Hitches your leg up over his hip. You want to protest, but it helps the ache in your poor cunt.
“H-how are you still hard?” You pant, traitorous pussy twitching around him.
He growls in your ear, can feel him grinning against the lobe. “Will stay that way for a bit, lass. Don’ worry, you jus’ have to lay here all nice and still. Keep me warm while I explain things to you.”
And he does. How there are shapeshifters out there in the world, rare as they are. That he comes from a line of them. Recruited to military, as most of them are.
How he was on standard patrol when he smelled you for the first time.
“Like a wet dream, bonnie. Fertile. Spring. Smelled like mine.”
How he instantly knew you were his mate. That he just needed to make you see it. Never a good time to explain it all to you — and then there were interlopers and your silly little books and your pesky toys. How he tried to drop hints around the house, let you come to the correct conclusion on your own. But you never did.
“Honestly it’s a good thing I’m here, hen. You’re so oblivious. Lived with a man and never even knew it.”
That he tried to go about it the other way ‘round, as a man, but you’re just so stubborn. And then how it all led up to tonight. To you finally, finally realizing what you really needed: your mate.
You should be angry, furious. There’s a lot to say about… well, all of it. It’s horrifying and violating and… and…
And he hasn’t stopped bullying your clit since he started talking. Cruel, tight circles. Drawing the hood back with two fingers and stroke with a third, slow and languid and just soft enough to make your head spin. Rhythmless taps. Even pinches when you try to chew him out at one point, half turning to scowl. Instead have his tongue lapping sloppily at yours as your mouth gapes open soundlessly.
Makes you cum twice just like that without ever interrupting his own story, cock still hilted — knotted deep inside you. Honestly, you probably miss a good portion of it, some of the finger details for sure. But you get the broad strokes (among other strokes).
He licks at your overstimulated tears when he’s finished, nuzzling and kissing your cheek.
“I-I miss my dog,” you mumble finally, hands balled against your chest.
“Aww, darlin’,” he sighs, sounding genuinely apologetic. “We’re one and the same. I’m always your boy no matter what form I take.”
It would be more comforting if his dick didn’t throb calling himself your boy.
“‘Sides, I’m better than a normal mutt,” he continues, tugging you against his chest. You want to hate that is instantly makes you feel a little better. “Wolves mate for life, after all.”
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atomicami · 3 months
Text
vengeance.
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roommate!abby anderson x fem!reader
- summary: you’re tired of dealing with your boyfriend’s awful habits. when he ends up crossing the line with you one day, you decide to get back at him, and your not-so-innocent roommate has the perfect way to do it.
- content: smut MDNI, no outbreak/modern au, reader and abby are roommates, reader has a shitty boyfriend, slight mentions of alcohol consumption and partying, infidelity/cheating, sex tape/amateur porn, kinda roughdom!abby, strap usage (r!receiving), abby referring to the strap as her cock, slight choking, daddy kink, abby hits it from the back, oral & fingering (r!receiving), pussy slapping, squirting, aftercare at the end ofc
- author’s note: hi everyone!! so i decided to do my very first collab with none other than the amazingly talented @whore4abby, i’m so grateful to have done this with you!!
also, consider this fic as our 1k special from us to you. thank you so much for all the love and support you’ve given to the both of us 🤍 we hope you enjoy it!!
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you don’t really know how you got yourself to this point.
well, you do, actually…but you didn’t know how this could have possibly escalated so fast.
it was just a silly little conversation at first. you were simply venting to your roommate, abby about your boyfriend for what was probably the millionth time now.
“ugh, i just can’t believe him!” you exclaimed to her as you frantically paced around your room. “i told him to make the best impression to meet my parents last weekend and what does he do?! he shows up to the restaurant thirty minutes late smelling like alcohol. how can he be so…so inconsiderate?!”
you’ve been in an on-again, off-again relationship with your boyfriend for about a year now. everything went fine with the two of you at first, but now it somehow just progressed to where you both can’t even make it a week without breaking up.
abby is sat at the foot of your bed, nodding in acknowledgement as you continued to ramble to her about your asshole boyfriend. you truly couldn’t ask for a better friend like her to listen to all of your problems about this, because unlike abby, you knew that anyone else you might know couldn’t withstand having to hear about the same person every damn day of the week.
“i seriously think i’m gonna break up with him now, for good this time.” you tell her with confidence.
abby lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes at your statement. “isn’t that what you said the last fifteen times though?” she asked, further manspreading on your bed before pulling her phone out of her pocket to scroll through it.
“i know, i know,” you said, continuing to pace around your room. “he’s done so much stupid shit lately, but this is honestly the final straw for me. who knows how much worse he could get if i—“
“hey, um…you might wanna see this.” abby says, showing you her phone screen. “isn’t that him?”
“what? what are you—“ your words drift off for a moment. you take a step towards her to take a closer look at her phone. it was an instagram story that her friend manny had posted, containing a video of some frat party happening right now and you could visibly see a girl grinding and making out with your boyfriend, clear as day.
now that was really the last straw for you.
“that asshole…” you mutter quietly to yourself as you watched the story again.
to be honest, you weren’t even that upset about it. well, you were, but not to where you’d be in tears crying over him. but rather, you had an urge to try to get back at him somehow. you wanted to retaliate against him. you wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine.
you wanted to give him vengeance.
“i seriously can’t believe him right now,” you tell abby again as you hand the phone back to her. “you know, i’m not even upset that he cheated on me, i just…” you pause for a moment to take a deep breath. “i just wish i could get back at him, give him some sort of payback you know?”
“yeah, i get you.” abby replies before looking back down at her phone. “you know…i think i might have an idea to get back at him…show that asshole what he’s missing…” she said, flipping her phone around to eye at the camera for a moment before looking back up at you.
“really?” you asked, raising an eyebrow in curiosity as you took another step towards her. “i’m down for whatever, what did you have in mind?”
˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚
and that’s how you got to where you were now, as if it had happened in a matter of seconds.
“c’mon, baby… look at the camera for me.” abby murmured to you from behind.
you laid at the center of your bed, bare body sprawled out with your ass up and abby’s thick, black strap nestled deep inside your wet cunt.
you didn’t want to admit it, but the stretch that abby’s cock had in you was overbearing. you really thought you’d take it, you told her so yourself. but now that you were feeling every single inch inside you, from base to tip—you were very, very wrong. you’re trying as best as you can to follow abby’s commands, but the immense length and girth of her strap has you feeling dizzy.
one of her hands reaches down under your stomach and makes its way up to your neck. “you really want me to repeat myself right now, princess?” she says in a firm tone, keeping her grip on your neck. “i said, look at the camera for me.”
“oh, fuck—“ you whimper to yourself as chills start to go through your spine. your whole body is fucking trembling and abby still has yet to move her cock inside you.
you try to lift your head up, looking straight into the camera on abby’s phone that was currently propped up in front of the two of you, the most dumbfounded expression was stricken on your face at the moment. you were already so cockdrunk and it clearly shows.
“atta girl…would you look at that?” abby says, looking into the camera with you as well. “see how pretty your girlfriend looks on my cock? she’s already drunk and i haven’t even started moving yet…not so bad for a girl if i do say so myself.” she continues narrating into the camera. “i’ll show you how it’s really done, yeah?”
and with that she began to start moving, painfully slow to say the least. you felt her hand let go of its grip on your neck and move to your hip, gripping it tightly as she kept slowly thrusting her cock inside you.
“you like that, princess? like how my cock feels inside you?” she asks in between her thrusts.
you end up mumbling something into the sheets, and abby could’ve sworn that you were calling her a name. her hand quickly returns back to your neck, lifting you up and pulling you back towards her as she kept her cock inside you. “what did you just call me? tell me what you just said.” she says in a stern tone, slowly tightening her grip on your neck.
“f-feels so good, d-daddy…” you slur out to her, eyes rolling to the back of your head as the tip of the strap gently presses against your g spot.
the smirk on abby’s face grew wider as she heard you call her that name. it was like music to her ears, and she couldn’t help but play along with it. “yeah? does it feel good, princess? does daddy’s cock feel good inside that little pussy of yours?” she asks, receiving a whiny nod from you in response.
abby looks into the camera and lets out a quiet groan at the sight of the two of you on her phone screen. “oh fuck, you’re not wrong…let’s take a closer look there, shall we?” she says, keeping your body up against hers with one hand as she moves forward and grabs her phone with the other. you look down as she brings the front camera down to both of your lower bodies where the strap was connecting it. now keeping her bicep firm on your upper body, she snakes her hand down to your gushing pussy, spreading its puffy lips open with two fingers in front of the camera.
“would you look at that…” she murmurs, bringing the camera closer. “that pussy’s practically crying all over my cock. does he ever get you this wet, princess?”
“n-no…” you whine out, shaking your head. “he doesn’t…”
“oh, poor thing…” she murmurs from behind, reaching down to rub your throbbing clit. “seems like you need daddy to take care of you, yeah?”
“y-yes, daddy, please…n-need you to fuck me…”
abby gently lowers you back down onto your bed before setting her phone back to its original spot, screen still fixed on the both of you. she places a hand onto each of your hips, gripping them tightly as she begins to slowly thrust her cock into your pussy.
as abby began to fuck you, you were now buried into the sheets again, releasing muffled moans and whines with every thrust of abby’s hips. in that moment, your boyfriend, and all of the fights and encounters you’ve had with him were the last things on your mind. you didn’t care about him. you didn’t even care about the video, knowing that he’ll be watching it soon. all that was on your mind now was abby and the large piece of black silicone stretching you open.
“does that feel good, baby?” she asks, slowly speeding up her pace. “c’mon baby, why don’t you tell him how it feels?”
you muster up the energy to at least turn your head to the side to respond. “f-feels amazing, daddy…b-best cock i’ve ever had…” you slur back to her, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure as you fist the sheets tightly.
“you hear that?” she says into the camera. “it’s not even real, yet it’s the best cock she’s ever had…bet it’s bigger than whatever you have going on down there too…”
you continue to whine into the sheets, weakly pushing your hips back against abby’s cock as a sign for her to speed it up. “f-faster daddy…p-please…” you whine out to her.
abby looks back down to what was below her, that same smirk growing onto her freckled face once again. “would you look at that, she’s already so eager for more…” she murmurs to herself, tightening her grip onto your hips as she began to thrust into you faster than before.
“oh f-f-fuck—“ you moan out, turning your head back to see her and watching her smirk get bigger again as she admires your drunk, fucked out expression. “don’t look at me now…” she tells you before pointing at her phone. “look at the camera. look at him. tell him how good i’m fucking you.”
despite how heavy your eyelids were getting, you try to keep your vision straight, looking into the camera for as long as you could. “s-s-she’s fucking me s-so good…b-better than y-you…” you slur out into the camera before letting your head drop back down into the sheets.
“you hear that? i’m a better fuck to her than you’ll ever be.” she narrates to the camera, still continuing her fast thrusts inside you. “can’t believe you’re letting a girl beat you at your own game, man.”
it didn’t take long for that feeling to build up inside you. abby had only been fucking you for less than five minutes, and you were already about to cum now.
“a-abby, fuck—g-gonna cum n-now…” you whimper out to her, bringing a trembling hand to hold hers from behind. abby instantly swats your hand away and brings her hand down to your ass to slap it, the sting causing you to flinch a bit. “that’s not my name, princess. you wanna try that again?” she asks you, still not stopping her fast pace.
“fuck, daddy!” you exclaimed, tightening your grip on the sheets to stabilize yourself. “p-please daddy…n-need to cum so bad…”
“there we go, that sounds better now…” she replies, looking back to the camera before back down at you. “go ahead, babygirl…cum for daddy.”
your grip gets even tighter on the sheets, and your cunt begins to clench down hard on the strap before cumming with a loud muffled moan, completely coating abby’s black strap with your release.
“holy fuck…” abby groans out from behind, now slowing down her pace. without pulling out just yet, she leans over to grab her phone, stopping the video and flipping the camera to the back to record a new one. “would you look at that…” she murmurs, zooming in on your lower body, particularly on the white ring that was being formed on her strap.
she then points the camera to the very back of you where your pussy was before slowly pulling her strap out of your fucked out cunt. abby lets out another groan as she watches your pussy clench and spill out your thick release, quickly running two of her fingers over it to pick it up. you whimper and whine due to the sensitivity from her thick fingertips, but you still oblige and let her do it.
“look how fucking good this pussy looks…” abby murmurs to the camera. “you know, i heard her tell me that you refuse to eat her out…” she says, pausing for a moment to suck her fingers clean before continuing. “you’re definitely a fucking idiot, to say the least. who wouldn’t want to get a taste of this sweet girl?”
you hear abby stop the recording on her phone, letting out a breath of relief as you set the rest of your body back down onto the bed. you’re already fucked out as is, and you feel the slumber slowly starting to take over you.
however, you didn’t get to have much of it now that abby has shaken you awake again. “lie back on the bed, i’m not done with you just yet.”
“w-what?” you say weakly, fully blinking your eyes open. “i-isn’t that one enough already?” you ask, pointing to her phone.
abby shakes her head in response. “nope, we still have one more video to make…and you’re holding the camera this time.”
˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚ ✧ ˚ ༘ ⋆。˚
you take the phone into your shaky hands, almost dropping it in the process before steadying it, abby's eyes practically burning through the camera lens as you angle your phone to film her between your legs, she slaps her hand against your folds and you whine out her name, "keep it fuckin’ steady, you hear me?"
your grip tightens on the phone and you try to keep it as steady as possible as she connects her warm mouth onto your clit, flicking her tongue up and down it a couple times, before drawing back and looking into the camera. "you see what you're missing out on, huh?" she tsks and shakes her head slightly. you draw your bottom lip between your teeth as she sinks back between your legs.
she presses her tongue to your sensitive folds as she messily kisses and licks at your pussy, groaning as she tastes you. her fingertips find your clit, rubbing circles over it as she slurps up your juices. the phone starts to slip from your grasp and abby shakes her head mockingly, slapping her hand straight down onto your pussy, fingertips smacking at your clit cruelly. "i'm not telling you again, keep that camera on me or imma keep slapping this pussy." she drawls, voice low and demanding as her gaze shifts from the camera lens to look straight into your half-lidded eyes. her stern tone has you nodding your head immediately in fear of another sharp slap.
her fingers start to slide into your entrance, slick squelching around them as she thrusts them in and out. her lips move up to suck at your swollen clit, with more purpose this time around as she feels you clenching around her fingers. "lemme hear you baby. c'mon, let it out. let him hear how good i'm making you feel." she whispers, thrusting her fingers in and out faster. she lifts her head and smirks up at you, clearly waiting for you to cum for her.
your back arches up into her and her free hand slides between your legs, roughly rubbing your wet folds as her tongue flutters over your clit, bringing you over the edge. your thighs tremble as they clamp around her blonde head which gives her no other option than to keep her head buried between your legs, sucking on your clit as you ride out your high and start to cum on her face.
her fingers continue to plunge in and out of you at practically record speed, fingertips curling against every inch of your g-spot and without warning, a stream of juices spurts from your pussy to soak her fingers and her face. she slides her fingers from your entrance, holding them up for you to see that they're covered in your juices, glistening in the light.
"look at the mess you made." she chuckles as she looks up and notices the look of absolute shock on your face as you realise what just happened.
"never done that before, huh?" she raises an eyebrow. "nuh uh." you pant out, feeling the need to pinch yourself as there is absolutely no way in hell she just made you squirt. "he's never made me do that....like ever." you giggle.
your head is still reeling as she lays you comfortably up against the pillows before she quickly fetches a washcloth from the en-suite bathroom. she returns less than a minute later, warm washcloth in hand, and starts to clean you up between your legs doting to your every need and want so soothingly, kissing at your thighs and stomach sporadically whilst doing so.
she eventually lends you one of her t-shirts to wear, gently holding your arms above your head, the soft material grazing against your skin. she climbs into bed beside you, the two of you bundled up under the thick sheets, snuggled up into her arms as your scroll through the footage taken on your phone. abby rubs her hand up your spine softly before pulling you tightly against her as she smirks at you, "gimme his number, i wanna send the footage to him."
you giggle and hand her your phone as she quickly copies down his phone number from your contacts into her own with a couple taps of her screen before opening up a text conversation with the new contact. she attaches the videos and starts to type out a message which reads:
"took care of your girl for you tonight...looks like she likes me better, don't you think?"
you shake your head and give her a little amused smile as you see the sheer look of smugness filling her flushed face, "that'll fuckin’ teach him." before pressing send and placing her phone face down on the bed in front of you.
it’s safe to say that thanks to abby’s bright idea, you were successfully able to give your boyfriend the vengeance that he deserved after all. as abby pulls you in closer to her chest, you get the feeling that this won’t be the last time you’ll do this with her.
and by the looks of it, you’ve found a new habit of your own to enjoy too.
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2024 © atomicami & whore4abby | all rights reserved. do not copy, modify, or translate any of our works.
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rose-pearls · 3 months
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Healing one cut at a time
Summary : Clarisse first goes to the med bay because she is forced by one of her siblings but the following times are just to see the daughter of Apollo again.
Requests are open!
Main Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187, @nyx2021, @thestarspangledcaptain, @kmc1989
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“I told you; I am fine!”, you can hear someone grumble from behind you but you turn back to the twelve-year-old girl in front of you that had fallen and twisted her ankle.
“And I am telling you that you should just go to make sure it is fine,” as you turn around to find what the squabbling is all about, you find Clarisse and one of her brothers glaring at each other.
You couldn’t help but swallow hard at the sight of Clarisse, she had her hair down after capture the flag, and somehow still looked beautiful after running around for three hours.
Clearing your throat, you smiled awkwardly at the two Ares children who looked surprised at your sudden appearance.
“How can I help you?”, you ask softly, after a few seconds of awkward silence. Clarisse seems struck as she watches you with wide eyes, her brother has a smirk as he turns back to you.
“Right, this one was hurt during capture the flag and although it doesn’t look too bad, we just wanted to be sure.”, he says, and you can see Clarisse coming back to herself at her brother’s words.
“You wanted to be sure,” she says with a scowl on her lips, and even then, you can’t stop thinking that she looks stunning.
“Well let’s just make sure, we never know,” you tell them before nodding towards the small bed in the corner.
She doesn’t look so hurt, so you’re surprised to see a cut in her leg, probably done by a sword but she doesn’t look affected at all.
“The good news is that it doesn’t look too deep so I just need to disinfect it and it will be all new after that,” you tell the two as you look over the cut.
As you look up from the wound you see a wide-eyed Clarisse staring back at you, rosy cheeks and owlish brown eyes making your stomach flutter.
“Great!”, you hear suddenly as her brother claps in his hands making the both of you jump in surprise.
“I’ll go get the product.”, you quickly whisper, feeling slightly embarrassed at having been caught looking at the girl.
You can hear the both of them arguing, particularly Clarisse scowling her brother, while he seems far too happy to be in the med bay.
“Someone needs to push you,” you hear him say before you arrive and the both of them turn to you, their conversation suddenly over.
“Hope I’m not interrupting,” you can’t help but say and the both of them shake their heads in disagreement.
“You didn’t!”, her brother says, and you nod slowly before taking the product and softly taking Clarisse leg in your hand.
“This might hurt a little,” you warn her even though you know that the girl will probably not show any type of weakness.
You whisper a few words under your breath as you pass the product on her cut and after a moment it starts healing itself.
“There you go, all new,” you say, and Clarisse seems a bit disappointed at the sight.
“Right, thank you I guess.”, she says after clearing her throat.
“Thank you for the help! We better get going,” he says before taking Clarisse with him, the girl looking back one last time with a timid smile, one that you would’ve never thought you would see Clarisse wearing. 
--
She was being stupid, she knew it, hell her whole cabin knew it too, but she just couldn’t stop going to see you at the med bay. She would use every excuse possible, hoping to catch a glimpse of you and you sweet smile.
“Clarisse, what happened this time?”, she hears you ask, your voice like music to her ears.
“My idiot of a brother didn’t watch where he was throwing his arrow,” she says, feeling slightly ashamed of the fact that she had been here every day until you smile at her warmly.
“Come sit down, I’ll look over it,” she does as is said and can’t help but feel a little excited at the prospect of you taking care of her. 
She didn’t want to feel weak, and the way she felt weak at your touch made her scared, but she couldn’t help coming back and having your whole attention solely focused on her. Her father would probably be telling her that she was weak but when you would talk with her softly, as to not disturb the sleeping children, she couldn’t help but forget all about him.
“You’re beautiful,” she realizes she has said the words before she can think not to say them. There is a loud silence, as you look at her slightly in shock, like a fish out of water.
You open your mouth to say something but before she let’s you have the opportunity to respond she fled the scene. Her face is hot with shame and embarrassment at her slip up, already making a plan at how to best escape the situation, and you specifically. That is until she feels a hand on her arm, making her turn around to face you.
You look slightly breathless from having ran after her, but you still look as beautiful as the first day she had seen you. She had fallen for you the moment she saw you; her siblings had quickly caught onto her crush and as much as they teased her, they would often tell her in the quiet of the night that she should go for it, go for the little sunshine that she could have. 
“You often leave a conversation without letting the other person answer?”, she hears you say, making her look at you in surprise.
“Guess I didn’t know how you would react,” she can’t help but say as she looks into your sad eyes.
“Well, maybe if you had stayed a bit longer you could have heard my response,” you say with a soft smile.
“What is that?”, the curiosity is killing her, but she also feels scared for the first time in a long time. 
“That I think that you are beautiful, probably a thousand more times than me,” she hears you say, and she suddenly feels breathless at your words but can’t help but disagree with a scoff.
“Please, you are the most beautiful woman, even Aphrodite herself would be jealous of your beauty,” the words are filled with passion, a passion that she usually only held for fighting and capture the flag. The surprise in your eyes make her feel suddenly shy, but as you get closer to her, she gets a whiff of your perfume making her relax slightly.
“That is probably not true but thank you,” you whisper, now closer to her than you have been before, but she still scoffs as she hears you disagree with her previous statement.
She gets ready to argue but before she can start, she feels your lips against hers, and for a moment she can’t think. Her stomach is bursting with butterflies and the smell of you is all around her.
Just as she feels you stopping the kiss, she wraps her hands around your cheeks, bringing you into a passionate kiss, hoping to make you understand everything she feels for you.
“You drive me crazy, sunshine,” she whispers, breathless, after the most dizzying kiss and she wants to kiss you again until she has no air in her lungs.
Your small giggle makes her smile and peck your lips softly.
“Who knew you could be so sweet La Rue,” she hears you whisper teasingly against her lips, and she can’t help but roll her eyes at your words.
“Only for you. Better keep this to yourself because it could ruin my reputation,” she says, a small warning in her voice but you just nod in agreement.
“We should go back to the med bay to look at that cut of yours,” she hears you say, a worried tone coating your words.
“Don’t worry beautiful, I’m fine. The only thing I need right know is you close to me and kisses,” she says as she brings you even closer by the waist, with a smirk as she sees you blushing.
“That can be arranged,” you whisper against her lips before she brings you back into another mind-blowing kiss.
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mrwavellswaps · 3 months
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Step-Bro Switch Up! (Re-Upload)
Instead of a new story this week I’ve decided to re-upload an old favourite instead. As some of you may or may not know, the original version was completely wiped from the surface of the internet by Tumblr to the point where there wasn’t even a trace of its existence. I wasn’t even notified of this when it happened which feels like it’s own separate issue considering it was my biggest ever story but I digress. I thought that now might be the appropriate time to re-unleash this story upon the world and allow those who loved the original to enjoy it once again and for those who never got a chance to read the original to discover it for the first time. That said I’m hoping to come out with some new and fresh content very soon but in the meantime I hope you all enjoy this return of an old classic!
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I found myself waking up at 6:30am in the morning which was rather unusual for me but not so much for my body. I soon realised why though as a low rumble came from my stomach. With a sigh I slid out of bed, trying not to wake the other sleeping jock beside me in the process. I didn’t even bother putting on underwear, instead walking to the kitchen buck naked.
I waltzed up to the fridge, opening it up before pulling out a carton of juice. After taking a few huge gulps I lick my lips and let out a deep belch. Next thing I’m rummaging through to see what I can make for breakfast. Had to make sure I kept this big body fed after all. Can’t let all my step-brother’s hard work go to waste. Confused? Well let me start at the beginning…
———
A few years back not long after I turned 20 my mom met a guy named Devin who she soon started dating. Pretty big guy with a bearish ex-jock physique. He was 45 at the time so a similar age to my mom and they seemed to get along great. I certainly didn’t mind having some extra dilf eye candy around the house every now and then. I soon learned however that Devin was also a single Dad with a 22 year old son which certainly peaked my interest.
When I first met him I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. He introduced himself as Sam but I was almost too hypnotised by his looks to notice. He was the perfect image of a star college jock with enormous well rounded muscles that bulged under his clothes while standing at an imposing 6’3, practically dwarfing my lean 5’8 frame. And of course he was devilishly handsome too because the hot body wasn’t already enough, even having a great full beard that I was jealous of. I even remember how I had to hide my pulsing boner after he pulled me in for a quick bro hug, his manly scent getting caught in my nostrils.
After that Sam became a frequent part of my jerk off fantasies. Could you blame me? Not only was he the epitome of masculinity but my god did he have an incredible ass. Whenever Sam had his back turned I couldn’t help but have my eyes glued to those massive globes, no doubt stretching whatever pants he was wearing. Honestly I felt truly blessed to be able to spend time around such a man.
Anyway fast forward about two years and my mom had already gotten married to Devin. It was an amazing ceremony but for half of it all I could think about was how me and Sam were now Step-Brothers. We were truly intertwined now. I didn’t think the idea of that would turn me on as much as it did. That fucking hunk, my brother.
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Shortly after the wedding however, the roommate Sam had been sharing an apartment with decided to move out and live with his new partner. At first Sam had been considering downsizing to a smaller apartment but when he brought this up I knew this was my chance. I pounced on the opportunity and told him I’d been thinking of moving out for awhile and that it’d be cool to spend some more time with my new brother if he was down for that. To my excitement he actually accepted and the next thing I know I’m moving my stuff out of my moms house and into Sam’s apartment. I was surprised at how clean it all was for the most part. Then again Sam wasn’t your typical dumb jock either, he always seemed very mature and put together.
The two of us got on pretty well living together. We tried to respect each other’s space and chatted a lot as good friends. Luckily I did well to hide my excitement whenever I saw him walking around shirtless, showing off his huge hairy chest, or god forbid only a pair of tight boxer briefs. The day I first saw that was the day I nearly creamed myself on the spot. Oh and while I respected his space when he was around, whenever I was home alone I couldn’t help but give into the devil on my shoulder before rummaging through his room. I tried not to take anything but every time without fail I’d sift through his dirty laundry, pulling out whatever sweaty clothes I could find and relishing in the smell.
For about 6 months that’s how my life was. Living under the same roof as my hot step-bro while trying not to let him see my dirty secret. That is until I found a certain little spell online. Pretty much I’d been searching up some fetishy body swapping stuff online and ended up stumbling across some weird body swapping ritual. Of course I didn’t believe it but the masses of comments on the page claiming it to have worked peaked my interest.
Next thing I know I’m up in the middle of the night waiting until I was certain that Sam was asleep before sneaking into his room. It didn’t take long for me to find the pair of yellow underwear he’d had on that day, giving it a quick sniff before stuffing it in my pocket and retreating back to my room. Once there I was able to start the ritual. I placed the underwear in the middle of a circle I’d drawn on the floor surrounded by candles before chanting some magical phrases that were supposed to enchant them. I can’t tell you how stupid I felt at that moment but I continued on anyway, finishing everything I needed to say before grabbing the underwear again. At that point all I had to do was wear it.
I yanked on Sam’s ‘enchanted’ yellow briefs with the hope that my wish would come true but as I’d expected, nothing happened. With a sigh I cleaned up the mess I’d made with this ritual stuff, feeling like an idiot as I did before heading to bed. I decided to keep Sam’s oversized briefs on though because just wearing them was making me hard even if I was still myself. I remember I’d begun to jack off in them, imagining how hot it’d be to see him wearing them after I’d stained them with my cum. That is until a wave of tiredness swelled across my body and before I knew it I was fast asleep.
It seems I must’ve underestimated that ritual because overnight something truly magical took place. When I awoke I already knew something was off when I noticed my feet hanging off the edge of my bed. I sat up in confusion only to feel much heavier than normal while looking down the bed to see a pair of much larger feet. Next thing I yank off my bed sheets only to find a massive, hairy, muscular body that certainly wasn’t my own.
Right away I was running my hands along the ridges of my abs before grasping the heft of my giant new pecs, loving all the fur as I was previously rather hairless. Jumping out of bed I was quick to discover that my lower body was just as hairy and impressive with huge quads, and impressive calves. And then it started to hit me. I didn’t realise it at first as I’d never seen it from this angle but these giant legs, these bulging arms, these bulbous pecs… they all seemed exactly like Sam’s! I was even still wearing his briefs which now clung tightly to my form as I didn’t fail to notice the familiar bulge in the front. Only… it was my bulge!
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At that moment I knew what must’ve happened but my rational mind pleaded that it was impossible. Still I burst out of my room and made a beeline for the bathroom and what I saw in the mirror made me want to cheer, shout and most of all cream my new underwear. I saw none other than the sexy bearded face of my step-brother staring back in disbelief.
As you can imagine I spent the next 20 or so minutes inspecting every inch of my new muscle bound body. I did all sorts of poses to show off my physique in every way, pulled different kinds of weird faces in the mirror, relished in rubbing my hands through the full beard I was never able to grow before. Having the body I’d been lusting over for these past years at my disposal felt like some kind of lucid wet dream. But it was real! From my brother’s handsome face, to his giant muscle ass, to even his fat cock! All mine!
Soon enough I’d yanked off the underwear and started pumping my dick in ecstasy, loving how my hand only just fit the whole way around. Waves of pleasure cascading across my new body as I used my free hand to grope at my hairy pecs, the deep groans I let out only making me hornier. Before I could shoot my new seed however, I heard a scream come from what I can only guess was Sam’s room. Up until now I hadn’t even thought about the real him but judging by that scream I had only one guess as to what’d happened.
Instead of slipping the boxer briefs back on I decided to grab a towel instead and wrap it around my waist. I didn’t want him to think something was up to see me already wearing his clothes after all. With that I turned to the mirror one last time, scanning my face and upper body again with wonder. I still couldn’t get over it.
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Upon entering Sam’s room I was somewhat surprised to see an exact copy of myself stood freaking out at his body. I should’ve been expecting it but it was still extremely weird nonetheless. Then, as he saw me stood in the doorway, he went silent. Naturally he was in shock for a good moment or two but as soon as it passed he began shouting a bunch obscenities at me. Demanding who the fuck I was and how I looked like him. He even tried to punch me which I’ll be honest wasn’t all that scary considering I was now twice his size.
Right then I knew I had a few ways I could go about this. I could admit that I caused this to happen, I could tell him that I had no clue how any of it happened, or even pretend to be completely oblivious and act as if I was really Sam. The horny devil on my shoulder told me to rub it in his face that I now had his irresistible jock body and that he was stuck with my unathletic one but I couldn’t. Sure we weren’t super close or anything but he was always friendly towards me and was never a dickhead so I decided to take it easy on him.
I pretended to be just as confused as he was, saying who I really was but not having any idea how this happened. I think I was pretty convincing. We ended up sitting in his room and discussing it for what felt like hours, going over everything that happened last night as Sam tried to comprehend the situation. Of course he only went on and on about finding a way to fix this and I had to pretend as if I cared, trying not to get distracted by my own body. In fact there were multiple points where I had to keep hiding the tent starting to grow under my towel because of how hot it was to look down and see a shelf of muscle sitting on my chest.
Eventually I was able to convince him that we weren’t going to figure this out any time soon so we had to start thinking about how we were going to live each overs lives. As you can imagine he wasn’t all that fond of this idea, protesting it at first but eventually came to see reason. I suggested we should start discussing all the important details we’d need to know but before that I wanted to get some actual clothes on. I had to try not to grin while telling him to get out of my room while I changed. Though I couldn’t help dropping the towel just before he left and showing off the meaty cock and impressive ass he used to have. I caught him glancing back with a look of envy, the very same look I used to give.
Of course getting dressed in Sam’s clothes was an erotic experience in itself. All of these large shirts, pants, briefs and socks that would’ve swamped my former body now fitting me perfectly. I must’ve spent at least 15 minutes or so just trying on different clothes while jerking my cock a little in between until I heard a knock at the door and my former voice asking what the hell was taking so long. With a sigh I tucked my new toy away and waltzed out in what I was currently wearing. A pair of well fitting black shorts and a large pair of black and white socks. I didn’t bother grabbing a shirt since I just couldn’t help but show off this bod. Could you blame me?
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When he asked what I’d been doing I simply said I was trying on clothes. He knew there was more to it than that but decided he didn’t really wanna know. Instead we opted to both take a seat in the living room and start discussing things. I told him everything he needed to know about my retail job, which wasn’t a whole lot to be honest, as well as my friend group and what my daily routine was like. Afterwards Sam begrudgingly did the same for me, telling me all about his part time job as a fitness instructor at the local gym and that if we were stuck like this then I’m gonna need to learn how all gym equipment works and fast. He also gave me some inside info on his own friend group as well as walking me through what his football practice is like with the team. Part of me was worried hearing all this as I was beginning to wonder if I could really pull off being Sam but at the same time I was excited beyond belief to get into these social situations and convince people of the new me.
Thankfully it was Sunday so neither of us had a whole lot going on that day which gave us plenty of time to think and adjust without stressing. I spent most of it half naked and I loved catching glimpses of Sam glancing at his former body as I showed it off, even getting a little cocky by flexing every now and then which he didn’t appreciate all that much. Honestly I was surprised at how hungry I was as well and just how much I was able to eat. I mean I guess it made sense since a body this big needs a lot of fuel. Sam helped me a little with my meals though, making sure there was a bunch of protein and healthy calories to make sure I was feeding his body correctly. Later that day he also got me to head out for some cardio which I wasn’t too thrilled about at first but I actually kinda enjoyed it once I got running. I especially enjoyed my new sweaty scent that produced during it, not being able to help sniffing my pits when I got back. Of course Sam told me to go get a shower but before I did I couldn’t help swiftly grabbing him and shoving his face into my musky pits, laughing as he squirmed for a moment before letting him go. I apologised after through my laughter though I couldn’t help but smirk subtly as despite his face looking disgusted, the slight bulge in his pants told another story.
The next day however was when the real challenge started. After breakfast Sam gave me a list of what exercises to do at the gym. I’ll be honest I didn’t know half of them and had to look them up on the way. That walk to the gym however was the first time I noticed the difference in my interactions. Before people wouldn’t pay much mind to me but now as I passed people on the street I’d get some smiling and glancing at me, some giving me an envious once over, others even saying hi to me in a bit of a flirty way. Mostly from girls which even though I was gay I still enjoyed the flattery. Once I was at the gym though, I was in the zone. It’s weird but it was like muscle memory took over. I performed each and every exercise perfectly while loving the pump I was getting. Once again I was having to hide my boner at many points since I couldn’t help but get off to how fucking strong I was now. It did and still does feel absolutely incredible!
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Later that day I headed to Sam’s usual football practice with a bunch of his jock friends. Initially I was worried I wouldn’t fit in but I somehow found myself easily slotting into the jockbro mindset and was soon laughing and joking with the boys. It was the same when we started playing, right away it was like my body just moved on its own, knowing exactly what to do and how to play. It was then that I realised I must’ve somehow absorbed a lot of Sam’s skill, know-how and personality when I took his form and I was gradually unlocking it all by putting myself in these situations. Although I don’t think I was playing as well as Sam usually does, not because of a lack of skill but because I was constantly distracted watching all those jock butt’s and bulges squeezed into those football uniforms. Surely at least one of them had to be gay right?
After getting home I found Sam sat on his laptop looking up all sorts of body swapping theory stuff. Of course most of it was fake but he was clearly desperate to get his body back. Sure there might be an off chance he could find the site I used but that a one way transfer according to the spell. Knowing this I told him to not get his hopes up and to just try and make use of the hands we’ve been dealt. As you can imagine he didn’t take that very well at the time.
From then onwards though, I’d say things were pretty easy. I easily convinced my new dad and former mom, now step-mom that I was their good ol hairy jock of a son. I was able to pull off being a fitness instructor with relative ease after going around the gym and using each piece of the equipment to trigger the memories of how to use it properly. I’d convinced all of Sam’s friends inside and outside of the football team that I was him. I’ll say that it took me awhile to fully get used to hearing my new name but whenever I did it was like music to my ears.
I’ve gotta say though, living with the former Sam was more fun than I thought it’d be. I figured it would’ve been weird initially after the switch and that we’d have to go our separate ways but even after just over a week of being Sam I was having so much fun messing with him. For example I almost never wore a shirt around the house, always showing of my huge hairy pecs and whenever I’d catching him staring I’d give a little pec bounce until he looked away in annoyance. I’d frequently pull him in for ‘brohugs’ where I’d either squish him against my chest or trap him under one of my pits until I saw him getting a semi. He’d alway deny having one though which is why I decided to set up a fun little experiment.
Turns out that Ian, one of the other jocks on the football team, was in-fact gay. Wasn’t hard to decipher after noticing his frequent glances at my ass in locker room, not that I can blame him, and how much he blushed when I gave his jock butt a slap after practice. Next thing you know we’re making out under the locker room showers while groping up each overs bodies. It was insane since before I would’ve considered Ian to be light years out of my league but now I had him on his knees with his lips wrapped around my shaft to which I then soon returned the favour. It was here that I got my experiment idea.
Yesterday after practice, I pulled Ian aside and asked him to come back to my place. He was quick to agree and before you know it we were stumbling into mine and Sam’s shared apartment. My former body jumped up off the couch and asked what Ian was doing here. ‘To have some fun’ I believe my response was being making out with Ian in front of him and dragging the other jock back towards Sam’s-well my bedroom. As Ian and I stumbled onto the bed, kissing along each overs bodies as we slowly undressed, I made sure to leave the door open just a crack.
One thing lead to another and before long Ian had his face buried into a pillow as I buried my cock in his ass and I made no attempt to be subtle about, groaning and grunting and my balls smacked against that supple butt. Throughout our amazing fuck session I made sure to keep glancing back at the door and finally I caught exactly what I was waiting for. I saw none other than Sam peeking through the crack in the door and lightly tugging at my former dick. That was all the confirmation I needed that my little bro was just as much of a homo as I was no matter how much he wanted to deny it.
———
And that more or less brings us up to the present, waking up early in the morning with Ian fast asleep beside me and being called into the kitchen by my growling stomach. As I searched through the fridge to see what else I could find to satisfy my hunger, I heard a cough coming from behind. Whipping my head around I saw none other than Sam with a judgmental look on his face.
“Don’t gimme that look, you’ve seen all this before.” I say, shaking my hairy ass a little before flexing. Sam rolled his eyes. “No no no don’t act like you don’t love seeing me show off your body, I saw you peeking in on me and Ian last night.”
Sam’s face went bright red. “W-w-what? N-no I didn’t!”
Immediately I shushed him, not wanting to wake Ian before stepping closer. “Oh come on don’t lie, I know you jacked off to it. So what was your favourite bit? The part when you got to see me using your body to pound into another buff dude and fill his ass with your cum? Or the part where you watched Ian totally dominate me afterwards and go to town on your former hairy bubble ass?” By this point Sam was completely speechless knowing that he’d been caught.
With that I lifted up an arm, exposing one of my pits to him but this time I didn’t shove him in it. “Go on, you know you want to. You can try and hide it all you want but you love seeing me show off your body, you love watching me adopt all your little habits, you love watching me slip perfectly into you jocky lifestyle. Just embrace it lil’ bro” He stares at me then at my pit. I could see it in his eyes. Pure lust. And then just as I’d hoped, he gave in to it. I couldn’t help but grin ear to ear as he voluntarily presses his nose into my pit, huffing my musk like a drug. I was even more surprised when he pulled away and immediately dropped to his knees, drooling at the sight of his former cock.
“C…can I suck it?” He asked while grasping it gently in his hand.
“Only if you agree to only address me as Sam from now on, even when we’re alone.” I state looking down at his hungry eyes. He nods in compliance and with that I put a hand on the back of his head and press him down onto my dick, letting him slobber all over it. “But don’t get too used to this. I’m planning on making Ian my boyfriend in the future and I wanna be faithful ya know. So enjoy it while it lasts.”
With that everything has finally fallen into place. The old Sam has finally accepted our new roles, I’ve assumed my new identity perfectly and I might even have a hot new boyfriend soon. My life couldn’t be anymore perfect right now…
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Simon felt terrible for what he was doing, but he truly felt what he was doing was the right thing. Last night should never have happened, and he knew deep down you deserved better than him.
The two of you had slept together the night before, both of your harbored crushes for one another finally bubbling to the surface, leading to a night in Simon’s bed.
But when the reality of what the night had truly meant for you both set in, Simon felt himself questioning if it was really the right thing for both of you.
So instead of talking to you like he knows he should’ve, he began finding excuses to distance himself from you, and spent nearly the entire day not acknowledging your presence.
It wasn’t until later that night, when everyone had gone to bed did you finally confront him. When you walked up to him, Simon could clearly tell you had been crying, and it nearly tore his heart in half.
“Simon, can we talk please? You’ve been avoiding me all day.” Your voice was laced with trepidation, something Simon wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of.
“Can’t, got an early mornin’.” Simon hated how cold his voice sounded, and he could hear the soft gasp from you in response. “Goodnight, Sergeant.”
“Will you just talk to me, please?” You begged, grabbing Simon’s arm with as much strength as you could muster. “I don’t know what I did wrong, but you ignoring me all day is really screwing with my head, Simon.”
Simon looked at the floor, his mind racing with things he wanted to say to you, but nothing came out as his throat ran dry. He stood there a moment, before his eyes lifted up to you, his gut wrenching when he saw tears falling down your cheeks.
“Are you not going to say anything?” You asked, your voice shaking as you dropped your hand from his arm. “Was last night was a mistake?”
Fuck no it wasn’t. Not to him. Last night was one of the best nights of his life. The woman he’d yearned for years for finally returning his affections, a night of the best sex he’s ever had. God no he didn’t think it was a mistake.
But that didn’t matter right now. Simon knew now how you truly felt for him, and he knew it was just a matter of time before he unwittingly broke your heart, and he needed to protect you from that. He needed to protect himself from that.
So he kept quiet, he watched as your bottom lip quivered, and as tears continued to fall down your cheeks. Watching you like this destroyed Simon, but he told himself this was for the best.
“I guess I have my answer then. I apologize for thinking I meant anything more to you than a shameless fuck.” You held your head high, biting your bottom lip to prevent it from quivering and turned to walk out of the room.
“Y/N.” Simon spoke, causing you to turn around. “Look, I just don’t think this would be a good idea. I’m your superior, and a relationship between us would be frowned upon. It’s not you, it’s-.”
“Don’t insult me by finishing that sentence, Simon.” You waived your hand, cutting him off. You felt a new wave of confidence build in your chest as you looked up at him. “I don’t know what changed between last night and today, but I guess it doesn’t matter now. Clearly this was one sided on my part. We’ll just forget this ever happened and move on. Good night, Ghost.”
The use of his code name hurt more than Simon would let on. There were so many things he wanted to say in reply, so many unspoken words swirling about in his head- but all he could do was watch you turn on your heel and walk away from him.
And all Simon could do was wonder if he was truly doing the right thing, for the woman he loved.
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