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#i think this is funny and also oh so great!
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im sorry babes but im begging you. Can we have a pedro pascal x reader fic where she's like a vlogger/lawyer and its like a fanmade video of them on yt of them being crackheads and being all lovey-dovey. like libra x aries vibes they balance each other out sm. you don't have to really but i genuinely feel like you're the only person who can pull this off.
Talk To My Lawyer
Every time Pedro gets asked something he can't answer, he always says the same thing.
Pedro Pascal x Lawyer!Reader | 600< | cw: gender neutral!reader, fluff, crack, rpf, typos, etc.
A/N: i didnt use and pronouns for yn besides you so anyone can read! ALSO this took forever, but im glad I finally did it. I hope you enjoy this nonnie! it's not exactly like the request but its pretty funny lmao
Tagging: @sloanexx @amis-love-bugs @top1bbgloak @sunfairyy @djarinsstuff @mooniesyubi @pedropascalgirly @mmmmandoz @multifandom-fangirl4
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X - (Formerly Twitter) - verse
@hotnewsoutlet: Pedro Pascal announces marriage to Civil Rights Lawyer with heartfelt Instagram post. @gigigogold1: PEDRO IS MARRIED? @linmanuzel: PEDRO IS MARRIED? (2) @HOTdigitidawg: PEDRO IS MARRIED? (3) @103840582duh: ??????????????????????????????????? QUE @pedropascaldad: TO A MOTHER FUCKING LAWYER 💀💀💀✋✋✋ @pedropascaldad: OF COURSE THE LAWYER LOOKS LIKE A SUPERMODEL TOO HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHA *jumps off a plane*
@papipascalyuh: ok but if pedro was gonna get married ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ hell yeah itd be someone who looks like THAT holy fuck
@80pascal: ?????????????????????????????????????? UR TELLING ME THIS LAYWER IS NOT ONLY HOT BUT SMART AND FUNNY TOO????? [article link attached] @biwohla: 💀💀💀💀💀 NO CUZ THE LEVEL OF UNHINGED??? FROM A LAWYER???? INFUCKINGSANE @marvelwhorebb: "... I made sure to wear the Pedro Pascal T-shirt I made when we first announced our relationship. Gotta let the people know I'm one of them and simply got lucky." @atrediessucker: T-SHIRT *I MADE* SCREAMING WHATTTTTT
@djinssdjarrinn: OK IT HURTS BUT FUCK HES SO WHIPPED [video attached]
"How are you today?" asks the interviewer.
Pedro smiles and nods, "good, how are you?"
"I'm great, now that I got to see you," she says, making the man curl his head into his shoulder and grin.
Pedro waves a hand, "oh stapit"
She grins back, "I was excited when I saw you arrive with the internet's favorite lawyer."
His expression shifts, he brightens up. He places a hand on his chest, "me too! I'm so happy to have a date today. I always end up beggin' for some time, and now I got it-" fist pump "-y'know, not that I'm complainin'."
"Yeah, I was gonna sa-"
"I like begging." *Pedro smile.*
The interviewer doesn't quite catch it, "-y, the both of you are always booked and busy. How do you find time for each other?"
Pedro thinks, but is distracted when you walk up from behind him. He looks back when you place a hand on his shoulder. Immediately, he's forgotten all about the question and dotes on you. He brushes a hand on your cheek, asking you if you're okay. You whisper something but then catch the camera. You give a bashful smile, "oh, sorry to interrupt."
The interviewer immediately waves a hand, "oh, don't worry about it."
Pedro mutters something and kisses your hand. He holds it as he looks back to the interviewer. He opens his mouth then shakes his head, "sorry, what was the question?" Pedro laughs.
The woman chuckles then moves closer to you, "you know what, I'm sure people are dying to know, what's something you newlyweds like to do together?"
Pedro instantly turns to you.
You purse your lips in thought.
"I-"
"Watching movies," you say.
"I-" Pedro starts again, looking back to the interviewer, "I don't think we can say what we like to do."
*crickets*
Pedro looks at you, expression mischievous.
You stare back at him, eyes like daggers.
He holds back a laugh and leans into the mic, turning to the camera, "I can't say it. Talk to my lawyer."
The interviewer laughs and so do you, begrudingly.
"Talk to my lawyer," Pedro repeats proudly, breaking into a wide mouthed smile.
"Ok," you mutter, "pack it up, Pascal."
@alexielover: SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP BASHING MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL WHAT THE FUCK @600MILK: MF SAID TALK TO MY LAWYER 🙄✋ SOBBING @oscarisaaacsz: watch him use that for everythingggggg 😭 @pedrogrill: LORD I HAVE SEEN WHAT YOU HAVE DONE FOR OTHERS @starwazfr: *sips clorox cutely* @emeryslala: and im supposed to sha la la baby after this? FOUL @pascpedro: respectfully, id pay to be their third @probelmaskt: PACK IT UP PASCAL???????????????????
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bitterkarella · 18 hours
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Midnight Pals: Cowboys
m Stoker: i've got a great story for you all tonight Koontz: dracula? Stoker: no dean it's not dracula Barker: you have other stories besides dracula? Stoker: Stoker: yes clive i do have other stories Barker: damn big if true!
Stoker: what are you implying clive? i have plenty of stories! Stoker: i'm not some one hit wonder like mary Mary Shelley: whoa there cowboy Shelley: maybe you wanna back that the fuck up? Stoker: i'm sorry mary, i didn't mean it Stoker: clive got me all riled up
Barker: tho bram does raise an interesting point Shelley: oh does he? does he raise an interesting point? and what would that point be clive? Shelley: think real careful before you answer Barker: i Shelley: real careful Shelley: real fuckin careful Barker: Barker: i withdraw the point
Shelley: i wrote plenty of stories Shelley: not my fault you lot only wanna hear frankenstein all the fuckin time Stoker: see? that's exactly what i'm saying King: ah jeez we're sorry guys King: it's just that, ya know… King: dracula! frankenstein! King: they're so iconic King: they just distract us from all the other stories that you guys apparently wrote
Stoker: that's better Stoker: i didn't JUST write dracula Stoker: i also wrote the lair of the white worm Barker: oh yeah we all remember THAT one Poe: clive
Koontz: do the song! Stoker: the song's not in the story Barker: oh but the song does slap Poe: dean loves the song Poe: we all love the song Stoker: Stoker: siiigh Stoker: [clapping, tapping foot] ohhhh john dampton went a-fishin', a-fishin' by the weir…
Stoker: you all remember the cowboy in dracula? King: of course! the cowboy was the best part! Stoker: well, what would you say if i wrote a story that was ALL cowboys? King: King: so like a western? Stoker: a what?
Stoker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the shoulder of shasta Stoker: a rollicking romance of the old west starring city gal Esse Elstree and rootin' tootin' cowpoke Grizzly Dick- Barker: wait Barker: haha wait Barker: wait ha ha ha ha i'm sorry Barker: what was ha ha ha Barker: what ha ha ha ha
Barker: haha what was that name again ha ha Stoker: Grizzly Dick Barker: hoo ha ha ha oh my GOD Barker: ha ha ha Barker: edgar ha ha Barker: edgar don't you ha ha ha Barker: don't you have anything to say ha ha hoo Poe: cliiiivfffffppppphhhbbttttttahhaah ha ha
Stoker: what's so funny? Barker: nothinggggha ha ha Stoker: do you think there's something funny about Grizzly Dick? Barker: ha ha haaa
Stoker: Grizzly Dick is the best part of the story! Barker: ha ha haaaaaa Stoker: I love Grizzly Dick! Grizzly Dick is my favorite part! Stoker: my wife loves Grizzly Dick!! Barker: hahahahohgodi'mdying
Stoker: next you're going to act like there's something funny about Esse Elstree's stern governess Stoker: miss gimp Barker: HA HAH HAHAAAAA
Stoker: i'm not going to tell the story if you're going to laugh Barker: haha ok ok i'll stop Stoker: ok good Stoker: so anyway Grizzy Dick says Stoker: [ridiculous cowboy voice] "HOWDY PARDNA YIPPEE KAI YAY GIT ON A ROOTIN AND A TOOTIN-" Barker: AHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Robert E Howard: ain't nothin funny about this, hombre
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ghostbite0 · 3 days
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How did everyone else find out about the baby situation? Did the blood demon art (...I'm assuming that's what it was; on second thought I can't remember if you specifically said that's what happened) take a while to set in and they were already back at HQ, or did the kakushi find them and bring them back?
Also what were the other hashira's initial reactions?
thats still to be determined-- i have yet to really iron that part out. i was thinking the three had JUST returned from their mission when the blood demon art took effect
Alternatively, the three are hit with the blood demon art, and Sanemi and Giyuu's crows go to get help. Since Gyomei is closeby, he is the first to find the three. After reeling over these three tiny babies, he takes them back to the headquarters, where they inevitably face the rest of the Hashira!
what were their reactions...? great question!
Hashira Reactions:
Shinobu: she couldn't help but giggle at their situation, but she quickly looked them over and ensured they were healthy physically. after they found some fitting clothes, she began to endlessly tease the boys-- particularly Giyuu, because, of course, she would tease Giyuu. she kept joking about how cute they were and how they should leave them like that, which was followed by Sanemi trying to throw something at her but failing miserably. Giyuu reluctantly lets her hold him, and then it turns into Giyuu not letting anyone aside from his closest friend, except for Gyomei. Gyomei's wonderful. Rengoku, too.
Tengen: similarly, Tengen cracked up. at first he was more confused and taken aback than anything, but once he knew for certain they were okay, he began joking around alongside Shinobu. he vocally brainstormed what kind of outfits to put them in, resulting in all three babies shrieking/whining at him. he claims Sanemi right off the bat and learns the baby is super ticklish. He spends a good chunk of the interaction tickling the little guy whenever Sanemi gets frustrated or angry. at one point, Sanemi pulled on his hair, so he tickled Sanemi nonstop until the baby could babble strings of reluctant apologies
Gyomei: he's really conflicted due to his backstory revolving young children, but his caregiver instincts take over, and he fawns over them. being the one to find the babies, he's the first to hold and comfort them, so of course, being as paternal as he is, he gets attached. once he took them back to the other Hashira and explained the situation, Shinobu began checking their vitals and what not, and he would continuously pipe up to ask how they were. this was soon followed by him bringing up how they needed to get the babies fed and taken care of-- which, again, had all three in distress/embarrassed
Rengoku: His big brother instincts go CRAZY. Similar to Gyomei, he automatically begins fussing over them and asking a lot of questions to make sure they're alright—though Rengoku asks the babies directly: "Are you okay?" "How old are you?" "Which demon did this to you?" "Are you hungry?" "What kind of food do you guys eat?" "Or are you still nursing?"... that sort of thing!
Muichiro: oh he thinks the situation is hilarious. he's completely monotone and stoic during the first encounter, but the second he's with the three babies, he's teasing them. he talks to the babies as normal and will just calmly ask, "Do you need a nap?" and says things like, "You're fussing an awful lot. Maybe you need a bottle."
he's basically a little shit. however, he does ease up later when he realizes Obanai, in particular, is having a really hard time, and his soft spot for him becomes evident. Obanai always looked out for him, so he wants to look out for Obanai! he becomes his main target in the teasing but is also obviously Muichiro's favorite. Muichiro will ruthlessly tease Sanemi, though. he thinks its funny
Mitsuri: she was in TEARS the second she saw the babies, and Tengen had to hold her back from rushing over and scooping them up. she thinks they're adorable and is already scheming with Tengen on how to dress them up, and what to buy them, and what not! once she was given the okay, she darted over and fussed over the three like they were actual babies-- only to be mortified when she was informed they all maintained their memories. she was flustered for a while, but once Obanai began to get really distressed, she jumped back into action. she would end up cradling him and kissing his little head until he calmed down, and of course, everyone just gave them knowing stares. Obanai was very embarrassed. Mitsuri interpreted this as Obanai getting fussy again, so she just returned to snuggling him.
feel free to ask more questions or send in hcs and what not! i love this au oh so very much...
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elsa-fogen · 19 hours
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Oh, Husk and Alastor?
Their dynamic is also pretty interesting, they kinda feel like two people who everyone thinks gets along great and are the best of friends. While in reality their friendship is fueled but a fire born from their hatred. They just have many decent moments and have a easy time understanding each other, through they often use that information to serve a selfish endeavor.
Like Alastor would mess with Husk, tease him and Husk would tell Al to get his act together so that he(Husk) doesn't have to deal with some sort of fallout (ref. when Mimzy comes by)
In general, I feel like they do get along really well, but they are in no way friends. Kinda like how you can get along well with your boss, but wouldn't really consider them a friend. And you wouldn't really want them to involve themselves in your life, but that doesn't stop Alastor. (Social conversions? What's that)
This also makes me curious, wonder what kind of dynamic Husk has with Rosie, or rather, how do you think Rosie sees Husk? Just like a pet Alastor has? Or does she actually see the person that is there? (Leaning more towards her not really seeing Husk more than a errand boy or pet of Alastor)
Though it would be fun if the first time Husk meet Rosie he thought that she might actually be willing to help him because she gives of the energy of being a very kind person around people she cares about (aka Alastor). So he tries to talk to her without Alastor present and he finally understands how they get along so well, they are both the same kind of crazy ᵔᵜᵔ
So, um- what are your thoughts on the dynamic between Alastor and Husk?
HEEEHEHHE YOU GOT ME A REASON TO TALK ABOUT MY FRESH HEADCANON ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIPS
OKAY SO!!
I saw a theory that Husk had children when he was alive. Keep that in mind, it's a secret tool we wanna use later
So, little bit about Alastor. He is not the guy who owns many souls. In fact, he doesn't own any (well... i have some headcanons, but it's for another time). The only soul he has is Niffty, and she's... she's whole another level.
So one day Alastor get's Husk's soul in posession and he has no idea what to do with him. Their contract is basically "you'll have to do anything i order you" but it doesn't set any boundaries for Husk. So he can insult Alastor, argue with him and so on. The only thing he cant is to try to kill Alastor, but it's obvious.
So, Alastor's just... drags him around, and Husk has to just be there all the time, and watch Alastor do stupid shit without thinking, being manipulated by Mimzy into some shenanigans and so on, because he's too powerful, kinda don't afraid of anything and little bit unhinged. And Husk is trying to be that voice of sanity for Alastor (and maybe Niffty). Like in canon, he tries to warn Alastor about Mimzy nd at some point seems genuinely worried about him. Just a bit. And also, in that scene in final song, when Alastor appears again, Husk doesn't seem happy but still goes for group hug.
I think he sees Alastor as a child he has to babysit, but the child is so spoiled, that he doesn't give a shit about his warnings. Maybe Al reminds him of his own children at some degree. And so Husk is attached to Alastor in some weird unhealthy way, he cares about him and tries to protect, even if it pointless.
The worst part of it is that Alastor doesn't see him more than funny fluffy cat-guy-pet. He almost never takes him seriously and doesn't listen to what he says. So Husk may try to reach out to Rosie, to make her to reason with Alastor. But she's basiclly "i could fix him, but whatever is wrong with him is way funnier". I think she listens to Husk's worries about another Alastor's scheme, but she also trusts Alastor? I mean, she belives that he'll be fine. But if something seems to dangerous, she can agree and talk to Alastor.
After all, Husk was an overlord, and i think Rosie could know him before he made a deal with Alastor. So, i think she doesn't think of Husk as just Al's pet, she knows who he is. After all, not every sinner can become an overlord. But still,
So, last thing. I saw that one comic where after episode 5 Alastor admits that Husk was right about Mimzy and i really love this thought. I think Alastor also likes Husk's presence at some degree. Maybe they could build something healtier, maybe Alastor, after losing part of his powers, would listen to Husk more. But still it's all fucked up while Alastor owns his soul.
And also, i'd really love to see something of just Alastor, Husk and Niffty getting into some shenanigans together, this would be so much fun. Al and Niff who are just 2 unhinged gremlins and Husk who's done with their shit, but still cares about them and can't just leave, and it's not because of the deal. Like i imagine when husk is trying to reason with Alastor that he's about do something stupid and dangerous and Alastor's like well i don't force you to follow us this time, but Husk still goes with them because who else would watch after these two idiots?
So i think, i get your point about them!
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helluva boss s2e6 reaction
I HAD TO CUT IT DOWN TO 1 EPISODE CAUSE I HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT LMAO. SORRY EPISODE 7 IN ANOTHER POST
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episode 6
oh my god. okay. fizzarolli right at the start we're already off to a great start
oh my god????
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okay I think I'm starting to see the parallels between fizz and angel dust, I did hear mammon was abusive? idk? didn't expect that not all the deadly sins would be nice like ozzie, beelzebub and lucifer
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HAHAHAH OH MY GOD
UH HUH.......
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"LOVE. IS. STUPID."
yeah I understand why they were screaming at moxxie and millie now
THIS FUCKING CAPTION LMAO
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HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOO
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OHHHHHH MY GOD
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oh boy
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yeah I like where this is going
awwwww
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OH MY GOD we're getting blitzo-fizz stolas-ozzie parallels now aren't we
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oh here's the part about ozzie condemning love potions, one of the things I heard about
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Asmodeus: Well, I can tell ya, if you're looking for a love potion, you came to the wrong fucking guy. I don't fuck with that artificial bullshit! Lust shouldn't be about force... It's an ART! To be earned, and enjoyed. It's all about that journey to Pleasure Town... You feel me?
based ozzie
HAHAHAH oh my god these messages
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oh my god
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LMAOOOOOO
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I love this little exchange they're having it's so funny
Blitzo: Point is, royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fuckin' same. Fizzarolli: That's not...! A-always true...
oooooh this is supposed to be a comparison between ozzie and mammon now is it
ooooh boy (also what the fuck is this shot LMASKDSOGKOHDOMHS)
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oh my god what happened between them
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oh my god???
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oh my god.
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HIS MUM? aw. man.
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man so it's not even their fucking fault, who decided to lie to him like that what a dick
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HAHAHA aww
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hahhaha awwwwww
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LMAOOOOOOO????
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WHAJAJASKLGSDSDKFDLGLG WHAT IS THIS SHOT
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WHAT IS THIS
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THAT GUY WITH THE HEART EYES???? I'M CRYING
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awwww
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I'M CRYING?????
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HAHAHA OH MY GOD
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OOOOH HAHHAHA
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LMAOOOO the captions at the end, I hit image limit so
BTW: DON'T WORRY. The quieves all made it home safe and sound <3
but yeah this was GREAT. I was gonna put episode 7 together with this but um. I ended up going too crazy and hit the image limit in one episode whoops. dw, next time, EPISODE 7. and more fizzarolli
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neo404 · 2 days
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Reader not even knowing he is into guys till he meet and starts liking nick after harboring feelings for a while he randomly asks nick out while they are hanging out
New Feelings.
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Summary: your friend Chris introduces you to his brother Nick, not knowing that you’ll develop feelings for him.
Tw: cursing
I don’t remember when I started feeling like this. I think from the first time I saw him something changed inside of me. It was fall, Chris wanted to go hang out at a park and said his brother will come too, when I saw Nick for the first time something clicked in my brain, maybe it was his tattoos or his messy blonde hair, either way, I was infatuated with him. I got closer to him and started to hang out alone.
Most times I find myself looking at him, staring at his blue eyes, his smile. At first it was scary, I have never felt this way towards another guy, but after a while thinking and listening to him laugh, I realized this feeling is not momentarily.
I know Nick likes guys, I know he would date someone like me, I just don’t know if he would date me. It makes me go crazy to think about him rejecting me, but I’m more scared of never telling him how much I want to be with him. I truly believe he is the most amazing human being alive, he’s funny and handsome, hard working and kind.
‘’Are you fucking listening?’’ Nick softly punches my arm. We are sitting at the same bench we were sitting the day we met, it has been a few months since that day, a lot has changed.
‘’Sorry, I was thinking.’’
‘’Yeah, like you can think. What where you thinking about?’’
‘’Do you wanna go on a date with me?’’ I say without hesitating, he looks confused.
‘’What? Is this some kind of joke?’’
‘’Of course not, why would I joke about something like this?’’
‘’A date? Aren’t you like… straight?’’ he seems nervous.
‘’I’m not.’’
‘’I didn’t know.’’
‘’Me neither… Nick, look. I like you, a lot, I can’t stop thinking about you and us being together, I’m scared of this not working out, I totally get it if you don’t feel the same way but to be honest, I was more afraid of never having the courage to tell you. So, yeah, just tell me hat you feel, no hard feelings.’’
‘’I can’t believe this. I thought you liked girls.’’
‘’I do.’’ I mutter.
‘’I know. I mean like, only girls. Whatever, what I want to say is I like you too, I thought it was obvious, I had to force myself to act a certain way so you didn’t notice it. But I guess I should have just shown my true feelings. I’d love to go on that date with you.’’ He smiles warmly at me.
‘’Really? That’s awesome.’’ I smile widely, my cheeks burn a little. ‘’I already have a plan, oh god, that’s embarrassing, I said it before I though.’’
‘’You are so cute. Tell me about this plan.’’ He laughs at me and grabs my hand softly; I smirk and quickly glance at our hands.
‘’So, I was thinking. Picnic, arcade and ice cream. At the picnic we can do cute things like draw each other or something like that.’’
‘’Oh my god, I have seen people do that all over my tiktok. We have to do it.’’
‘’Great. So, maybe this weekend? Like Saturday maybe.’’
‘’That’s good for me… Have you told Chris about this’’ he says the last part looking at our hands.
‘’No. I wanted to tell him after I made us official, so, not yet. And about the also liking boys too, I don’t think it’s necessary to come out to them, maybe I can casually drop it in one of our conversations.’’ I say calmly.
‘’Sounds great. So, when do you plan to make us official?’’ I chuckle at this.
‘’After a few dates, I want to make sure that you fall in love with me as much as I fell for you, but I think that’s impossible.’’
‘’God, you are smooth. I like that idea, having dates, with you. It sounded almost impossible to me.’’
‘’We’ll we are here now. Sorry for making you think otherwise.’’ My thumb starts to rub his hand.
‘’It’s not your fault, I’m glad you said something about it.’’
‘’Me too.’’
Even when my confession wasn’t conventional, or the most romantic one, I know my feelings for him are real, and I’ll give my best for our next couple of dates to be the best he has ever had in his life. I’m gonna make sure that he sees how good of a boyfriend I will be. I can’t wait for us to finally be together, and for me to not hide my feelings for him anymore.
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undeadgf · 2 days
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You're speaking to E
Summary: Calling the phone hotline is the best thing you've ever done
Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female!Reader
Warnings: none for this chapter. Smut in future chapters.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4
AN: this is reupload from my old blog! Part 2 coming soon
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You feel so nervous looking at the scrap of paper in your hand, which contains a phone number to a sex hotline. You found it while out at a sketchy bar with your friends, an ad taped up on the bathroom wall with little tear off phone numbers.
Looking for a fun and sexy time? Our phone operators will give you that, no judgement - $15 for 30 minutes. 30 minute minimum call time, all calls over or under will be rounded up.
You'd torn the strip with the number off and stuffed it into your bag before rejoining your friends.
You are the only one of your friends with zero experience, a virgin in every possible way, and it always leaves you feeling left out. They always talk about their boyfriends or hookups, and you are always left to just listen, having nothing to contribute.
Fuck it you think and dial the number and listen to it ring.
"Hi, Little Devils phone agency. How can I assist you today?" A friendly voice asks.
"Um...I've never done this before, so I'm not sure what I'm looking for." You answer shyly and unsure into the phone.
"No worries, sugar. Have you got any things you aren't into? Any kinks?"
"I-I don't know."
"Oh, I know just who to set you up with. He's great with first-timers like yourself. I'll patch you through, honey."
You listen to a click, and then a new dial tone starts up, and you feel yourself getting nervous.
This was a mistake. I should just hang up.
You go to move the phone from your ear when you hear his voice.
"Hello, what can I help you with today?" A sultry voice comes through the phone, and you practically melt.
"Um, hi.. I've never done this before.. I'm not too sure." You stammer out.
"Not to worry, baby, don't be nervous. Can you tell me what you've done and anything you're into?" He questions, his voice kind but still seductive.
"N-Nothing... uh I don't know."
"Shit, honey. Are you a virgin?" He hears you let out a squeak of confirmation, "I got you, I can make you feel really good if you'll let me? Want me to take care of you?"
"Yes, please." You squeeze your thighs together, his voice affecting you.
"Such a good girl." He praises.
"How about you touch yourself for me? Trail your hand down into your cute panties for me." He instructs you, and you freeze up.
He notices your hesitation.
"We don't have to do anything you don't want to." He soothes.
"I'm just nervous..." You trail off, feeling like you're wasting his time.
"We can just talk if you want, sweetheart. You have to pay for 30 minutes and we're only 3 minutes in."
"That sounds nice. What's your name?" You want to know about him. Doing these things with a complete stranger feels strange to you.
"We're not allowed to tell, company policy for safety, but you can call me E." He tells you.
"Like Edmund?" You question, and he laughs.
"Close but not quite baby. What's your name?"
You introduce yourself, and he compliments your name, and you feel yourself blushing. He asks you some more about yourself, and you find yourself essentially playing 21 questions.
You mention a place in your town and find that you and E must live fairly close to each other because he knows it. You also find out he's a few years older than you and really into the metal scene.
He's so funny and he makes you feel so seen, you almost forget why you're on the phone to him anyway.
You find yourself telling him things you've never told anyone before, including how you feel insecure about your body.
"I'm sure you're beautiful, baby." He tells you and then curses, "we're coming up to 30 minutes. If you don't want to be charged more, we'll have to wrap it up here."
"Can I call you again?" You find yourself asking.
"Of course, just ask for connection 467, and you'll get put through to me." He tells you, "talk to you later then?"
"Talk to you later, E. Goodbye." You hang up and lay on your bed.
You didn't achieve what you hoped to today, but you can't help but feel hopeful that E is the perfect person to help you and make you feel comfortable too. Maybe the next call.
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popping in to say i am OBSESSED with your farmer interpretations. im not a big stardew valley fan (not bc of anything, its just not my sort of thing) but gahhhhhh. oh my god. that one painting comic and the background-music writing rattle around in my head so muchhh. they just scratch such a specific itch in my brain.
like. interacting with the world around you on such a different, alien level from anybody else- but not noticing or caring because its just what you've always seen the world as. it isnt scary, it doesnt completely warp your mind, it doesnt drive you to the brink of madness- its just normal. what the world is supposed to be.
it gives you advantages in some situations. but it also isolates you, in a subtle way. because you're different, 'biologically' (for lack of a better term), you cant see what people "should" see, or do what "normal" people should do. you will always just be a little off to people- just through your habits, which seem completely normal and logical to you- enough to put them on edge. its not enough to set anything bigger off, but it shows that you will always be different. you will never be like them, whether you want to or not.
..whoops. sorry for waxing poetic or whatever in your askbox lol i am just a very very big fan of this specific type of thing. anyways! thank you for making this specific interpretation that will probably haunt me for a bit. i hope you have a good day ^-^
Yep, you hit it right on the hammer! That's exactly what I'm going for!!
And with the new update (no spoilers here) it seems that's what the game is encouraging you to be!
I like writing them in this way because it adds a wonderfully comedic depression to them! A subtle psychological horror I can use for drama later👀
And again... cuz funny haha 😂
I noticed the Farmer's quirks are only sometimes included in others' writing and only really included for comedic purposes. Still, I think the farmer's odd behavior can add to almost any situation if you know how to work with it!
I hope to haunt you more in the future! Have a great day as well :D
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Could you pretend you love me? Pt. 2
Soap x Fem Reader
This mission turned into a competition between you and Johnny to see who can pretend better, your little Emma is enjoying too much this false family time.
Warning: Spelling and grammatical errors. Long chapter, but it's romantic, I hope you like it.
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You went to pick Emma from school, it was a free week, so she would be with you and Johnny. She was so excited, looking through the window all the new places in her new neighborhood.
- Emma, I want you to be a good girl please.
- For sure! Y/n Can we go to the beach and the park later? Oh look! There's a lot of trees! I want to climb too!
- I think so, everything depends on you, if you're good we will visit all those places today.
- Oh yessss! Y/n, is that the house!? Oh look! There he is!!!
Johnny was in the garden of the house, shirtless, you never thought about what he would look like naked, until then, he certainly has a good abdomen, you've seen his arms a thousand times but they looked stronger than ever today, he was watering the plants and grass. As soon as he saw your car, he ran to put his t-shirt, you parked and the little Emma ran out of the car.
- Johnny!!!!
He smiled at her and kneeled, Emma jumped on his arms and both hugged each other, they really looked like Father and daughter.
- Heyyy Emma! You're finally here! Welcome home!!!
You were staring at them, the warm feeling and those strange sensations in your stomach appeared again so you simply decided to look at somewhere else.
- Why didn't you go with y/n to pick me up?
- Well, y/n didn't tell me, she said she would go to the grocery store. But the next time I'll go, I promise. Ok?
- Pinky promise?
- pinky promise
You blushed, you thought he wouldn't like to go, that's why you said that. The three of you were walking to the house when your enemy appeared, he was walking his dog and a little kid was accompanying him.
- hey! Johnny, y/n, wait!!
Soap and you looked at each other, he gave you a short nod.
- Oh hi Jeff, what's up?
- I came to see you, I want to invite you to a pool party this weekend, at my house, take it as a welcoming party, I insist.
- Pool party?.
Emma appeared behind you with a bright smile.
-Oh, so you must be the famous Emma, no?
- Yes sir, nice to meet you.
- Emma, I want you to meet my son, this is Dylan, and the dog is sparky.
«Hi Dylan, I like your dog» «Hi Emma. Do you want to pet it?»
The two children started their own conversation, you were looking at them, mostly to Emma, you never saw her so happy before, since she's under your watch, you've been trying to be there for her, helping and trying to make her happy, and she was, but never like this.
Johnny and Jeff also had their own conversation, so you were just observing interaction, you analyzed, and started to think about what Soap told you In the meeting room the day the mission was announced.
Certainly, Ghost couldn't have a conversation with this man without breaking his bones, Price wouldn't focus with Emma running around the house and well... Maybe Gaz was the other option, but Soap is playing his role so well, you hate to admit but that's the truth.
After a few minutes, your neighbor left and the three of you went inside the house. Emma was fascinated with her new room and technically with the entire house, your apartment is not so fancy as this house.
Johnny and you were planning the next phase of the mission, put trackers, microphones, hidden cameras. You couldn't avoid it, you decided to talk.
- Soap...
- hmm?
- I... I just wanted to say you were right.
- right about what?
- About this, you're doing a great job...
- Ahh, that, well, Thanks y/n, I told you I would make you reconsider your words.
«You could do it better y/n»
Both looked behind, Emma was in the doorframe observing both of you. Soap couldn't resist it, he laughed.
- what? What is it so funny?
- Just... Y/n, Emma just has less than one day and she already notices you don't give a credible actuation.
You scoffed, What? These two think you're not doing a good job?
- What? Are you serious?
- Y/n, I'm a kid and we're easy to fool, and honestly, you don't look very in love with my daddy.
Emma crossed her arms pretending to be offended, Johnny didn't say anything, he was quiet trying to content his laughing.
- Emma, I'm very capable.
Emma simply neglected with the head. Johnny couldn't handle it anymore, he laughed, you punched him, and he continued laughing.
- okay, okay, I'm Sorry Y/n, but Emma is right, you act cold and distant, I know I'm not your type but Could you pretend you love me? You know, lovey dovey?
You were red like a tomato, furious but also embarrassed.
- what do you know about what I like? You will see Soap Mactavish, I'll show you how lovely I can be. You will see too Emma, I'll be the best wife and mom for this family! .
Later you prepared sandwiches and snacks, then you and your family went to the beach, a picnic, volleyball and Emma taking photos with her Instax camera that you gave her a few months ago.
At the park, Emma was playing while Soap and you were sitting on the bench, talking.
- She's amazing.
- Hmm?
- Emma, she's an adorable girl, you're doing a great job.
- I try my best, but yes, she's an amazing daughter.
- Can... Can I ask what happened to her parents?
- A car accident. Emma broke her arm, but her mom... She received all the impact and died instantly. Her father voluntarily gave me Emma's custody, he said he wasn't ready to raise her alone.
- She's better with you. A man who doesn't have the balls to take care of his children, doesn't deserve kids like Emma.
You smiled proudly, observing your little daughter, Soap was watching you, a lock of hair fell and he put it behind your ear, he wouldn't dare to say it loud but he thought you looked beautiful, like a princess, the way your hair fell over your shoulder, your dress and your eyes, everything about you was causing him strong feelings, you interrupted his thoughts.
- So... Mr. Blackwood, is your wife pretending better now?
- Ahh, maybe, I mean... A 10% better.
- Oh really? What do I have to do to make it more credible? Bring you serenade?
- perhaps that could help.
- Alright.
You stood up and started to sing and dance in a silly way, while Emma was taking more photos and Soap was laughing, he really wasn't expecting to see you singing for him.
«I, I'm so in love with you, Whatever you want to do Is all right with me 'Cause you make me feel so brand new, And I want to spend my life with you (...)»
It was a beautiful afternoon, on the way back home the three of you were talking, playing and having fun. It felt real, there was a connection.
Days passed quickly and the pool party day arrived too soon, you and Soap were revising the mission and information that could be useful, also information about your fake marriage, just in case someone asked.
Emma was more than ready to leave, Johnny was too, both were just waiting for you, once you were ready you went downstairs, you were beautiful, you were wearing a light blue dress, your hair in a ponytail, exposing your long neck, very beautiful.
No one said nothing but the way Soap looked at you gave you goosebumps. The party was nice and fancy, you met some neighbors, names that you will investigate later just In case, Johnny was working on putting the trackers and microphones while Emma... Well, Emma was having fun, after all she's just a kid.
The meal time started, everybody was sitting and eating, one of them asked you something you never thought would be important or necessary until now.
«So, John, Y/n, How did you meet?»
- Ah...
- My parents meet in a bar.
Both looked at Emma, she was eating, her view was on her food, she continued talking.
- My daddy tried to invite a drink to my mom but she rejected him. Then tried to invite her to dance but once more, she rejected him. My daddy really wanted to talk with her but she was rejecting him every time. The same night, later, it was karaoke, my daddy was too brave because he's a terrible singer but he said to himself «I need this girl». So he stood up and sang to her, my mom blushed but at the end she finally accepted, my dad always tells me that story, he says my mom looked like an angel that night.
«Awww, your daughter really knows the story of how you meet»
- Yeah, what can I say? I love to tell her about how her mommy stole my heart. She still leaves me breathless.
You blushed and kissed his cheek too close to his lips, you didn't know why you did it but it was late to regret it also you were trying to be a good wife.
«and what was the song you sang for y/n, Johnny?»
- it was... 'are you gonna be my girl', and well... After all, she's my girl.
The conversation continued, all was going well, the mission was going well, In fact, it was going really good, you wondered if you needed to worry or if the enemy was simply too stupid to notice you were acting.
Both of you walked around the house putting all those microphones and cameras, trackers under the cars.
Before leaving you went to the bathroom and asked Johnny to look for Emma, he was looking for her when a woman interrupted his searching.
«Johnny?» «Sophie? Oh god, hi...»
Both were talking when Emma saw him, she felt jealous, Soap is not her real father, but she wouldn't let that woman steal his attention. She hide her shoes and walked barefoot to them.
- Daddy? I can't find my shoes.
Johnny paled and the woman, Sophie, looked at both, she was shocked.
- Is... Are you... Ahh, is she your daughter?
- Ahh... Yes, Sophie, this is Emma, my daughter, Honey, this is my friend Sophie.
- Hi Sophie.
- Hi, oh Johnny When did you marry? Congratulations...
Emma saw the anger in that woman's eyes, but apparently it wasn't enough for her to see Johnny's daughter, Emma ran to look for you.
You went out of the bathroom and Emma was quick to hold your hand taking you where Johnny was.
- Emma where are your shoes? Johnny, I told you to... Oh, sorry.
- Nothing to apologize, Y/n, this is my friend Sophie. Sophie, this is my wife.
You and her observed each other head to toe, you didn't understand why you were feeling jealous, it was a tense moment.
- Nice to meet you, Sophie.
- Same, you're lucky, Johnny is someone very special and charming...
- I know, that's what I like about my husband...
You looked at Soap smiling and kissed his cheek once again.
- Darling, we have to go, Emma is very tired, I'll go to look for her shoes while you say goodbye.
You didn't look at the woman, simply left them there while you were helping Emma, who magically found her shoes before you started to look for them. Once at home, Soap was intrigued by your reaction, he wouldn't sleep until you explained to him what happened there.
Emma was asleep while you were in the kitchen, working, investigating all the guests of the party and observing the cameras.
- Ah... What happened today?
- We went to a pool party and planted cameras and stuff like that.
- ha-ha, you know what I'm trying to say.
- Umm, no, I don't.
- You kissed me almost on the lips, then you... I don't know, you acted jealous when you saw me with Sophie.
- I was merely... Playing my part.
- y/n, that's not... You weren't faking it.
- Why would I be jealous of that girl? You said it a few days ago, you're not my type, I don't have reasons to be jealous of her, and even if you were my type i... I wouldn't be jealous because at the moment you belong to me, you're my husband, and my husband wouldn't look at that pretty girl with long legs, big butt and small waist...
- So, indeed you were jealous.
- SOAP! I'm not! Could you please stop that, we have work to do, ok?
He simply nodded and sat in front of you, both working in silence, the next day Emma went back to the school, both pretending to be okay in front of her but the elephant in the room was getting bigger. Both were talking only for the necessary, one of you needed to do something to fix this but as the two of you have their pride and also a personality hard to handle, it looked impossible.
You were in Emma's room, folding the clean laundry, when Johnny knocked, you didn't say a word, he just put a CD and some photos, in Emma's bed.
- Emma asked me to print some photos of her week with us, she said it is a gift for you.
- And the CD?
- That's mine, take it as my way to apologize, I didn't mean to make you angry. I was just trying to understand what happened that day.
He left the room and you sat on the bed, thinking about it, you were jealous, but why? You still don't know, or... You're still trying to fool yourself.
You saw the photos, Emma really captured the moments together, then, the CD, it has a note written «Songs that remind me of you».
What's going on between you and him?.
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thelreads · 2 days
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I've been taking notes on the spypocalypse so I can keep my thoughts in order and actually I ended up noticing something:
First, a lot of other slice of life sitcoms don't have character development because they need to keep the characters the same for the format. But as a result the characters can end up feeling stale because they don't develop and thus the creators fall back constantly on the same jokes. But what I like about spy x family is that the characters are slowly growing, even if that means sacrificing the jokes. Like, Endo is letting Anya slowly get better at studying and Yor slowly get better at cooking, so even though we still have jokes about how Anya is not the best at school or that Loid is a better cook than Yor, we also get to move past it so the jokes don't become old.
Second, in other manga that have serious and funny moments, I find that there isn't often a lot of crossover, character-development wise. Like, in SxF, Fiona running off to the mountains to train in tennis is a gag... And then it saves her life during the mole arc. Likewise, there's gags about Yuri being indestructible because of Yor, and then during the Yuri v. Twilight showdown he is actually really able to keep getting up.
So that probably means that the next time Twilight and Yuri go up against each other, we'll see a return of Yor-fu.
And last thing: even though there haven't been a lot of chapters that let us see it, I think Yor is definitely getting a lot more feelings for Loid. When she first moved in, Yor didn't even know if she and Loid would be sleeping in the same room. She was a bit bashful around him, but it was really only when she was super drunk that she went tomato-face mode (when Yuri told her to kiss Loid, when Loid tried to honey trap her, and then later the welcome home kiss). However, when they went to the murder ski lodge, even though she was completely sober and Anya and Bond were *right there*, she went super blushing flustered mode at the idea of sleeping in the same room as Loid. Ah, yeah, it's all coming together.
Ok for real last thing: also I think the reason why Sigmund's tutoring worked better than Yuri or Loid's is because those two focus on one thing and get through it. They're both determinators who have no problem with snapping into focus on one thing at a time. Meanwhile Anya's mind has a tendency to wander. However, look at how Sigmund deals with it: when Anya turns Yuri's "whole enchilada" into the "swole Chihuahua", Yuri tells her to forget it and go back to focusing on the grammar. But when Anya takes Sigmund's "eureka" and turns it into "eucalyptus", Sigmund encourages her ("oh, you know so much about koalas! You'll ace your biology test!" And she may not have gotten a Stella star for it, but given that her only bolt was from math, she at least passed her bio quiz). Sigmund works with her wandering train of thought while gently pushing her back to the task at hand. Anya is a force of nature who conquers all in her way; Twilight and Yuri don't stand a chance trying to fight against her head on, but Grandpa Siggy knows how to work with the Lord of Storms.
Grandpa's are great, I'm gonna be so sad when it turns out Sigmund is a founding member of the Apple Project.
Oh, I like that slow development. It's so subtle and gradual you don't really notice it until something major happens and it all clicks together.
Yor is definitely getting more feelings. Yeah, she was not as embarrassed at first because she didn't really liked Twilight the way she does now. He was a handsome man and she was bashful, but now that she does like him like that, now that she's getting aware of her own feelings, oh now the fun begins...
And Sigmund there was definitely the right choice to teach Anya, and he does manage to get in her head because he has a lot of experience on the subject, he was a teacher for years, he understands the human brain because of his work as a researcher. Also because he knows how to handle test subjects from project apple after all.
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Hapshepsut?
Oh, you guys are funny. I make a note in my post about the oddity of people coming into my inbox with a single word prompt and that I have no idea how to respond except with a handful of information about the prompt, and now it's a real thing? That's just what I'm supposed to do?
Well, I might as well do so.
The modern legacy of Hatshepsut is dominated entirely by her womanhood. It completely disregards all of her accomplishments as a great and wealthy Pharaoh presiding over a time of great prosperity for Egypt, and it also overlooks the political and cultural climate of the time, which is as confusing as it is complicated.
This is much longer than my previous go about Ramses I, so I'm putting it under a read more.
Hatshepsut's Beginnings
When the layman thinks of Hatshepsut, they will think that she is the first female ruler of Egypt. This is their first mistake. There were many regents of Egypt; mothers who ruled on behalf of their young sons, who were not yet old enough to fully claim the throne. Beyond that there was also the female King Sobekneferu (12th Dynasty), as well as two Queens very early on in Egyptian history who might've been Pharaohs in their own right; Neithhotep (Early 1st Dynasty) and Merneith (1st Dynasty), both named for the warrior Goddess Neith, who held considerable importance in early Egyptian history. Both of these Queens have inscriptions and monuments attesting to their rule, but due to a lack of complete concrete evidence, it is difficult to now say whether they were regents or Pharaohs. Sobekneferu, from the 12th dynasty, was the first woman to take on the full royal titulary, assuming the position and title of Pharaoh completely. While her existence and rule is fully affirmed, there is little evidence left in the way of her accomplishments, as she ruled as the last Pharaoh of the 12th dynasty.
Khnumetamun Hatshepsut herself was born in 1507 BC to the Pharaoh Thutmose I and his Great Royal Wife, Ahmose. Her name, meaning 'Foremost of the Noble Women' was suiting to her––later in life she would be married to another one of her father's sons, Thutmose II, who was birthed of a secondary wife named Mutnofret. She was married before the age of 20 and assumed the highest standing title a woman could gain at the time; the God's Wife of Amun, giving her more power than even a Queen could achieve. To understand the importance of Hatshepsut even at this time, we must understand what it was to be the God's Wife of Amun. And remember, all this power and prestige is before she ever even became regent to her husband's son.
The God's Wife of Amun was a position held in Thebes, modern-day Luxor, and called Waset in ancient times. The title originates from the Middle Kingdom, and at that time, it was merely an honorific title for a noble woman who assisted the High Priest of Amun at Karnak Temple in his duties. By the New Kingdom, which was Hatshepsut's time, the God's Wife of Amun was powerful enough to influence policy and held considerable power and prestige, the peak of which was reached in the 3rd Intermediate Period, when a God's Wife of Amun ruled over Upper Egypt. The typical duties of a God's Wife of Amun were that of a high priest, and she would essentially be the female counterpart of the high priest of Amun, and took on many of his responsibilities alongside him. But the rewards for it were also plenty: "tax-exempt land, housing, food, clothing, gold, silver, and copper, male and female servants, wigs, ointment, cosmetics, livestock, and oil." (God's Wife of Amun, World History Encyclopedia, Joshua J. Mark) She would preside over the festivals of Amun and would be considered His consort, making her a divine being.
So this was Hatshepsut's position which was gifted upon her around the same time she was married to her half-brother, Thutmose II. Together they had a daughter whose name is Neferu-Ra, but this was their only child. The only viable heir to the throne after Thutmose II would have to be a son, which only came about through Thutmose II's lesser wife, Isis, who birthed Thutmose III. But Thutmose II, Hatshepsut's husband, died relatively soon after Thutmose III came to be, and so Thutmose III, the young son, could not fully be given the throne. Instead, Hatshepsut was made regent, and assumed all duties of state and Pharaoh while Thutmose III was growing up.
Proclaiming Herself Pharaoh
It was in the 7th year of her regency that the well-known history occurred. Hatshepsut crowned herself sole Pharaoh of Egypt. She assumed all royal titularies, titles, and names befitting a Pharaoh, but inscribed all of these using feminine forms. She passed down her title of God's Wife of Amun to her daughter, Neferu-Ra, and had her married to Thutmose III, likely in an attempt to consolidate power, and began to carve images of herself as a male Pharaoh.
I have commented on Hatshepsut before because some people like to claim that Hatshepsut is the world's first transgender person. This is incorrect. If she had wanted to represent as male, she would've gone about it differently, and to begin with, she would've changed her name. As I stated earlier, her name means "Foremost of the Noble Women"; this is a female name, and it would've been obvious to any Egyptian of the time that this was a woman. Instead, her representation as a male was to ensure the people knew she was not a Queen, but a full-fledged Pharaoh. And as I mentioned just previously, all her names and titles used feminine grammatical forms.
She is a complicated character, and one that will likely never be fully understood. But one certain thing about Hatshepsut was that she was smart. By marrying her daughter to the 'King' Thutmose III, she created a safety net for herself; if she was removed from the throne and Thutmose III was crowned, then she would still hold considerable power as the mother-in-law of the Pharaoh. She further legitimized her rule as Pharaoh by proclaiming that she was not just Amun's ritual wife, but His daughter, as well.
In the carvings and paintings in Hatshepsut's mortuary temple at Deir el-Bahari, Hatshepsut tells the story of how Amun appeared to her mother, Ahmose, in the form of Thutmose I, her father.
"He [Amun] in the incarnation of the Majesty of her husband, the King of Upper and Lower Egypt, [Thutmose I] found her sleeping in the beauty of her palace. She awoke at the divine fragrance and turned towards his Majesty. He went to her immediately, he was aroused by her he imposed his desire upon her. He allowed her to see him in his form of a god and she rejoiced at the sight of his beauty after he had come before her. His love passed into her body. The palace was flooded with divine fragrance." (van de Mieroop, 173)
This interaction made Hatshepsut a demi-God. But this was also not enough; she made claims that Thutmose I, her father, made her a co-ruler with him.
"Then his majesty said to them: "This daughter of mine, Khnumetamun Hatshepsut—may she live!—I have appointed as my successor upon my throne... she shall direct the people in every sphere of the palace; it is she indeed who shall lead you. Obey her words, unite yourselves at her command."" (Seawright, Caroline (6 November 2000). "Hatshepsut: Female Pharaoh of Egypt")
She claimed that Amun had sent an oracle foretelling of her rise to power.
"Welcome my sweet daughter, my favorite, the King of Upper and Lower Egypt, Maatkare, Hatshepsut. Thou art the Pharaoh, taking possession of the Two Lands." (Breasted, James Henry (1906). Ockerbloom, John Mark (ed.). Ancient Records of Egypt: Historical Documents from the Earliest Times to the Persian Conquest)
She also represented herself as the direct successor of the Pharaoh Ahmose I, who started the 18th Dynasty.
That last bit may seem unimportant if you do not know the history behind Ahmose I. Ahmose I came about during the 2nd Intermediate Period, a time in which Egypt was split into three sections. Lower Egypt, the delta, which is to the north, was ruled by foreigners––the Hyksos, who were much despised by the native Egyptians, who ruled only a section of Egypt from Thebes. Then far the south, the Nubians ruled their own section of Egypt. What's important here, however, is the Hyksos rule. The Hyksos were commonly referred to as the Asiatics, and likely originated from the Levant, referring to themselves with Western Semitic names. They were seen as cruel and oppressive rulers, and while this was likely far from the truth, when we concern ourselves with the cultural standpoint of 18th Dynasty Egyptians, we only need to understand their viewpoint and opinion of the Hyksos. Ahmose I, ruler of Thebes, successfully drove out the hated Hyksos from Egypt, and reinstated Theban rule over the delta in Lower Egypt. These actions made him a much-beloved figure in the eyes of the ancient Egyptians, and this is why Hatshepsut proclaiming herself as a direct successor of Ahmose I was a smart move––she correlated herself with freedom from oppression and a somewhat legendary figure, who had ruled over Egypt some 80 years previous to her.
Actions As Pharaoh
Consolidating her rule, gaining power, and ensuring that power would stay were not the only things she accomplished, even if that is what most people recognize her for. She also completed a staggering amount of construction projects for temples, protected the borders of Egypt, led military expeditions into Syria and Nubia, and a rich trading expedition to the mythical land of Punt, which is presumed to be somewhere in modern-day Somalia. She was in control of a massive amount of wealth, without which it would not have been possible to assume so many building projects.
"Hatshepsut was able to exploit the wealth of Egypt's natural resources, as well as those of Nubia. Gold flowed in from the eastern deserts and the south: the precious stone quarries were in operation, Bebel el-Silsila began to be worked in earnest for sandstone, cedar was imported from the Levant, and ebony came from Africa." (Betsy M. Bryan, Shaw, 229-231)
Inscriptions at her mortuary temple in Deir el-Bahari go into detail about her expedition to Punt, as well, describing an immense amount of wealth.
"The loading of the ships very heavily with marvels of the country of Punt; all goodly fragant woods of God's Land, heaps of myrrh-resin, with fresh myrrh trees, with ebony and pure ivory, with green gold of Emu, with cinnamon wood, Khesyt wood, with Ihmut-incense, sonter-incense, eye cosmetic, with apes, monkeys, dogs, and with skins of the southern panther. Never was brought the like of this for any king who has been since the beginning." (Lewis, 116)
Her temple was such an immense work of art that it is considered by many to be one of the finest temples in Egypt, whose craftsmanship exceeded any Pharaoh before her and was only ever matched by Ramses the Great (Ramses II). She built throughout the country to such an extent that there are very few museums who concern themself with Egyptian history who do not have a piece of Hatshepsut's work. She added tremendously to the complex of Karnak at Thebes for the glory of Amun, and erected two giant obelisks there, alongside many other obelisks raised in other parts of the country. The Karnak complex is made up of three different precincts; the precinct of Amun, the precinct of Montu, and the precinct of Mut. The precinct of Mut had been ravaged during the Hyksos rule, and so Hatshepsut rebuilt and restored Mut's great temple in Thebes, once again honoring the Gods with her wealth.
Overall, she was an immensely successful Pharaoh. She added to the great temples of Egypt and built new temples, simultaneously giving honor to the Gods and employing the people. In these temples she performed rituals and rites traditionally reserved for the Pharaoh, which further confirmed her power and status reigning as a male Pharaoh. She led conquesting military campaigns into Syria and Nubia, protected the borders of Egypt from foreigners, conducted highly successful and bountiful trades with the people of Punt, who were highly rich in gold, and built one of the most beautiful and iconic mortuary temples known today, influencing the location of the future Valley of the Kings.
Death of Hatshepsut
Hatshepsut's death is unfortunately not well understood. Her body was moved several times due to complications with lineage, burial, and the right to the throne. There is a mummy that is proposed to be Hatshepsut. This mummy has a missing tooth in her jaw, and Egyptologists are in possession of one of Hatshepsut's teeth, found in one of her canopic jars. The empty space and the tooth fit perfectly together, so it is proposed that this mummy is Hatshepsut. However, later on, the tooth was identified to be a molar from the lower jaw, whereas the missing tooth from the mummy is in the upper jaw. There is a lot more to this than I am writing about; this is the simplified version because there's a lot of scientific know-how one needs to fully understand the complications of trying to identify a nameless and displaced mummy.
If this mummy is Hatshepsut, then Hatshepsut died from bone cancer. Queens in the family of Hatshepsut are known to have had genetic skin irritation, and the lotions used by the Pharaoh were a carcinogenic, benzopyrene skin lotion, meaning that over time, as Hatshepsut attempted to soothe her irritated skin, she would've been giving herself cancer. Alongside that, she also had bad teeth, which is why one tooth is gone from her jaw––it was removed, and later caused an abscess, which may have also contributed to her death.
Removal from History
Eventually, as we all know, Hatshepsut was stricken from the record. Her names were carved out, smoothed over, or replaced with the names of her step-son, Thutmose III, who took over as Pharaoh when Hatshepsut passed into the west. Many images and statues of her were dismantled, destroyed and buried, and there was an attempt to wall up her monument at Karnak. The majority of this historical re-writing took place at the end of Thutmose III's reign, when he was co-reigning with his son, Amenhotep II.
It is not entirely clear why this was done, but there are several theories, and I find it likely that they were all true in some way, and all contributed to the defacing of Hatshepsut's legacy. For one, rule of Egypt is a traditionally male role, as is shown in the first king Osiris and His wife, Isis, who were mythologically the first to rule over Egypt. Egypt was very dependent on the idea of Ma'at, which represents truth, justice, and most importantly, balance. Having a female Pharaoh was an upset of the balance and an upset of tradition, so it might've been seen as prudent to erase Hatshepsut's memory of female rule. Another factor is that the reusing of monuments was a common and popular practice of Pharaohs; they would take the already-built monuments of previous Pharaohs and inscribe their own names in them, claiming they were built by them. This saved money and resources. The last factor that I would consider a prime reason would be Thutmose III's son, Amenhotep II.
Amenhotep II had a very shaky claim to the throne. He was not the son of the Great Royal Wife; instead, he was the son of a lesser wife, Merytre-Hatshepsut. Amenhotep II was also not the eldest son. The eldest son of Thutmose III was born of the Great Royal Wife Satiah, and his name was Amenemhat. But both Satiah and Amenemhat died, and so Amenhotep II was who Thutmose III resorted to when it came to passing on the throne. Amenhotep II, who was insecure in his claims to the throne, usurped many of the accomplishments, deeds, and monuments of Hatshepsut. He neglected to record the names of his Queens, and he eliminated the giving of power to women, erasing the titles of the Gods Wife of Amun, and other such positions which had the chance to give any power to women. In my opinion, truly an unpleasant man. But fortunately these titles were restored by his son Thutmose IV, and we are not here to talk about Amenhotep II.
Overview
Hatshepsut was a great Pharaoh who accomplished great things and presided over an incredibly prosperous time in Egyptian history. This is likely why her name was stricken from the record and the name of Sobekneferu, the previous Queen-Pharaoh, was not. Sobekneferu presided over a time of chaos, so it was not important to remove her, as her rule could stand as an example as to why it was against Ma'at for a female to rule as Pharaoh. But Hatshepsut was extremely successful, and for that, she was removed. She built great monuments, added to the prosperity and health of the people, honored the Gods, and was one of the most powerful Pharaohs in Egyptian history. We will likely never know why she did all of this; why she was dissatisfied with her position as the God's Wife of Amun, why she proclaimed herself Pharaoh over her husband's son. But nothing bad seemed to ever come from her reign, and she is now remembered as one of the most iconic figures in ancient Egyptian history.
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comradekatara · 1 month
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Zuko/Jet, if that’s obscure enough idk. I don’t ship them in any sort of like, healthy or romantic way, but I do think they should have had an extremely toxic/ill-advised boat fling.
okay well this one is very popular so if i speak my truth i may actually get put on a list. but no matter. jet is my least favorite minor character, and zuko is my least favorite main character (to be clear i still love him, he’s just not as compelling to me as the rest of them are) so nothing about their dynamic interests me personally. also i have a very hard time reading their interactions on the ferry as anything other than zuko not being able to stand this guy at all. like yes i do think zuko is gay, but not for him!!! the one thing zuko truly has to his name is taste. yeah he liked stealing food, but it wasn’t because he gave a shit about who he was stealing food with, he was just hungry. and then he found jet’s later persistence that they be friends grating. whatever jet was seeing in zuko was entirely a one-sided projection, both during his positive and negative images of him as a person. wherein lies the tragic irony, because considering the information jet is privy to, the conclusions he jumps to are insane, but also, he’s even more right than he knows (considering iroh, yknow, literally burned down his village and killed his parents). but zuko is literally just sitting there and he doesn’t really give a fuck about this guy at all. also it simply would not make sense for zuko’s arc if he was like. actually doing gay shit in book 2. i know it would be really funny if katara and zuko both hooked up with the same guy, but i don’t really think that’s the case. sorry guys
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irregularbillcipher · 9 months
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bill cipher is the character ever. he swears in cartoon sound effects. he has beef with a baby. he didn't know what colors were until he was like at least 27. he's the most powerful being to ever visit earth. he only exists in dreams. he's an alcoholic. he's a victorian. he almost certainly worked retail. he doesn't know about his own gender. he also doesn't care about his own gender. he's depressed. he likes silly straws. he knows everything. he's stupid as shit. he thinks that normal is just a setting on a washing machine. he's touchy about his sides being uneven. he's a flatland oc. he's owned by disney. he responds to "willy." he thinks in all caps. he has a reddit account
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bitternace · 3 months
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Any number? 23 and saïx :)
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couldn't count all the ways that i've died for you
[ID: a digital drawing of saix from kingdom hearts. He is shown from the hip up, his body in 3/4's and his face in profile. He is shadowed in warm tones. He has a neutral expression, and he's standing straight.
The background is transparent except for a circle that lays from the middle of his shoulders and upwards, with three sections that have a slightly bigger circumference where one to three, seven to eight, and eight to nine would be on a clock. All scenes are blue tones with a noise overlay. these three are all from saix's perspective.
In the first, there is a cloaked figure shown from the waist down, the tip end of young xehanort's keyblade leans forward and some of it goes out of bound, tiled floor as a background. The second one is saix's hand reaching for kingdom hearts. The third is his hand reaching towards Lea, who lies on the floor of radiant garden's lab.
The rest of the circumference is a labyrinth wall in keyblade's graveyard, with a harsh diagonal line of light on the upper half. Most of the circumference is lined black, except from nine to one o'clock, lined white. /End ID.]
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keirientez · 29 days
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band au rahhhhhhhhhhh
#i wanted to draw the other guardians too but this would be a good start#ok so#tsuna starts his band. yamamoto bass and gokudera keys and tsuna suprisingly drummer and also lead vocal. reborn appears out of nowhere-#being “youre not your full potential so i will drain you till youre like a fish in a dehydrator until you become the best out there.”#thats about it#but i just like how drumming singers are like extremely good music people because drumming is already hard. and singing too???#absolutely insane i might say. tsuna would do this (bc reborn told him so)#he does not want to be the best but reborn exists in the paro for a reason#reborn is like maybe a famous musician who faked his death then did whatever he wanted to do while he was “alive”. then he got tsuna as his#apprentice and so so. oh yeah also whiplash (the movie) reference bc holy shit its so good. for me at least. and reborn would make tsuna go#that kind of crazy. like training until drenched in sweat from morning to night or whenever hes available. bc he knows he has potential#he just need someone to push him beyond his expected limit#btw 8059 implied#gokudera joined the band first bc yeah then comes yamamoto for fun as he had to rest from playing baseball a bit too enthusiastic#gokudera hated him so much for like being dumb??? (the goofy ah laugh) but then the two dated even before reborn made a move on tsuna#its very funny but they work it out#i was also thinking if the band ever do solos or do something not as the whole band 8059 will have their own album. itll be great#for genre im not sure?? lets just say alt rock electrojazz????#no idea but maybe ill make a playlist. maybe#sawada tsunayoshi#reborn#yamamoto takeshi#gokudera hayato#8059#r27
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sonego · 7 months
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i'm curious what's your deal breaker team when it comes to following sports blogs on here? like the person seems the coolest, funniest, sweetest, with correct opinions, supports another team you love, just someone you'd definitely wanna follow... but the thought of seeing so much of that team on your dash even if you can blacklist it and try to avoid it as much as possible is just too much?
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