oh no my obsession with hannibal and cannibalism as a form of love and devotion has cost me everything. and by everything i mean my fUCKIGN SANITY.

me when the disability disables me: oh what the fuck? this sucks. what the hell man!

Hey guys I figured out how my school bullies knew I was weird

my roommate told me to clip this sgt frog bit that we were losing it over so here you go

"it's very problematic to make your space aliens autistic-coded" SPEAK FOR YOURSELF 👽👽👽👽👽🛸🛸🛸 ALIEN LASER BLAST ATTACK ✨✨✨🌠🌠🌠🌠🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Why self-diagnosed autistics are valid

medical diagnosis can be expensive

humans are the experts on their own minds

family may prevent assessment

diagnosis criteria is a poor checklist of stereotypes

diagnosis criteria ignores gender, race, sexuality, culture & more

medical diagnosis confirms autism, but doesn't create it

discrimination within the medical profession may prevent diagnosis.

Assessment waiting lists often long

medical trauma may make assessment unfeasible

Neurodiverse Journeys

my therapist: how are you feeling in the wake of your (autism spectrum disorder) diagnosis?

me: well it makes sense doesn’t it? i was the one who requested testing. like on some level i kind of figured.

my therapist: yes, i’m personally glad we pursued it because it helps me better understand parts of your behavior and how to accommodate you. but how do you feel about it? you said before that you were in heavy denial about the possibility when you were younger.

me: well yeah, i had a preconceived idea of what autism was that i know now wasn’t true. but at the time it was distressing and i didn’t want to think about it too hard.

my therapist: how was it different then? what was your idea of autism then?

me: it was, you know, severe developmental delay. i never thought i had developed abnormally at all, so to try and match up the severity i associated with autism and the way i viewed myself, i just couldn’t.

my therapist: but you did.

me: sorry?

my therapist: you did develop abnormally. both socially and academically.

me: socially yes, but i had no problems with academics. i always especially excelled at reading comprehension, more so than anyone else in my grade. i started lagging in high school but i think that was a lot of burnout and depression and ptsd, probably. i was incredibly smart. hell, i spoke in full sentences earlier than most of my peers.

my therapist: violette, that’s still abnormal development.

me: …huh?

my therapist: developing abnormally fast is still developing abnormally.

me:

me: oh.

hey gang

if you still do them, could you maybe do autism creature with / in a train / tank. as they are some big default autism interests.

choo choo !

Neurodivergent people are never undiagnosed. We are misdiagnosed. Our symptoms don't go unnoticed, and people will always attribute them to some sort of cause. They'll just attribute them to personality and blame the individual for their symptoms.

For example. My autism is not undiagnosed, it's been misdiagnosed as "too sensitive," "awkward," "rude," "obsessive," and "too intense." My brother's adhd wasn't undiagnosed, it was misdiagnosed as "lazy," "impulsive," "annoying," and "can't seem to get any work done."

Growing up without a diagnosis is growing up believing that you are to blame for your differentness. Your symptoms are a personality flaw. You are diagnosed by everyone around you as "weird."

Edit: Some people have pointed out that I'm using the word misdiagnosis here rather loosely. I'm aware that it isn't quite correct definitionally, and I don't mean to say that medical misdiagnosis and the type of social misattribution I'm talking about are identical--just that they are related phenomena, and neurodivergent people are often victims of one or both. There isn't an exact term for what I'm talking about here, so I used the closest one I knew of. Terminology is important and some words need to be used with precision to retain their influence. At the same time, sometimes meanings change, and bending words to fit new circumstances is a natural way that language evolves. I'm not sure which situation this falls under, so while I don't want to change my post (not even sure what to change it to), I thought I'd edit and add clarification. Additional feedback on this is welcome.

do you understand my visions

I forgor :(

the canon of dunmeshi makes it easy to imagine farcille with marcille as the perpetually pining party ready and willing to violate the most fundamental laws of nature for the woman she is utterly, irrevocably in love with. but.

the idea of marcille doing everything she does under the impression that falin is just her dearest most special friend that she loves with the normal platonic intensity of all girl besties while newly re-resurrected falin is shaking laios in their shared bedroom at the earliest opportunity trying to spark their two brain cells together to figure out if marcille, who she has been desperately crushing on since magic school, is actually in lesbians with her and just denser than a neutron star is infinitely funnier so that's the version of reality i subscribe to

(to sweeten the pot this makes marcille being obsessed with romantic drama and effortlessly spinning a character study of chilchuck's wife based solely on two sentences, her knowledge of him as a co-worker, and the power of her own delusions so much funnier too. too busy working that maxed out delusion stat on her unfortunate partymates to look inward for two seconds)

i think one of the reasons punk means so much to me is that under the spikes and studs and safety pins is the same kid who sobbed violently every time he got in an argument, a kid who cared so much about the people around him that he kept asking questions. kept trying to make sense of things, even when it started to alienate him, because it wasn’t a simple disagreement to him, it was his whole life. something was fundamentally wrong with his brain that made him incapable of understanding the world the way the people around him did, so he was seen as selfish when all he ever wanted was to make everyone happy. and maybe when that kid grew up, he still had questions, and he never stopped trying to understand the world a little better. but he was also going to realize that he was never broken; he was hurt by a system that was. but he wouldn’t stop fighting for change, to make it a hell of a lot better for the other misfits and outcasts who felt like there wasn’t a place for them. he was going to stop caring so much how he was perceived for expressing himself and he was never going to let anyone make him feel like he didn’t belong. ever.

Who was gonna tell me that sitting down on a cold hard floor alone in a room barely illuminated with only a small lamp light in the dead of night, hugging your knees while putting the same song on loop to play over and over and over again as you close your eyes and start rocking side to side softly and slowly for 30 minutes FELT SO GOOOD??

Hey vocal cords, play “unholy autism noises” by “just found content about a special interest”