#i think he can just unhinge his jaws like that lmao
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#well she didn’t say no...
barbarian (2022) / hemlock grove (2013 - 2015) / it (2017) / it: chapter two (2019)
#bill skarsgard#cygifs#1k#billskarsgardedit#bskarsgardedit#bskarsdaily#filmedit#filmgifs#horroredit#horrorsource#dailyflicks#fyeahmovies#moviegifs#tvandfilm#junkfooddaily#userstream#chewieblog#userbbelcher#userbrittany#i think he can just unhinge his jaws like that lmao
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Bakugou/Fem Reader NSFW headcannons? drabble? kinda both — part 2 part 1
Everyone involved in this is aged up/18+, if that is not your cup of tea—keep scrolling or block
Warnings; cursing, kissing, rough sex, blood & bruises (from sparring), consensual fighting, pain kink, degradation & praise, squirting, aftercare
Note; I’m not sure what part of my lizard brain this appeared from—but somewhere in my unhinged mind this is a fantasy I have & Bakugou seems like the kind of person who would actively indulge and participate in it (please be mindful of the blood warning, they kiss and there is blood involved from injuries during the sparring—but not too much)
Everyone involved in this is aged up/18+, if that bothers you—move on or block me lmao
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Bakugou who unabashedly, unapologetically loves to fucking fight. Well—who loves to fuck & to fight. Together, preferably. As in, the man is genuinely feral. Who is ecstatic to be beaten up a bit before he indulges in a nasty fuck with you (thank god he met you—since you’re a freak who feels the exact same way, a dirty little secret between you)
Bakugou whose cock fills out thickly against his thigh, hot & full when your knuckles collide with his jaw—snapping his head to the left. Who lets out a noise (of pleasure) similar to his chest being cracked open as pain blooms brightly, ricocheting down to his collarbone and up to his eye socket.
Bakugou who turns his head back to you, cracking his knuckles as he grins wolfishly. Whose tongue flicks out to trace over his busted lip. Whose cock pulses hotly as he lazily runs his eyes up & down your body—you’re wearing short Nike pros & a fucking sports bra. It makes his skin feel as if it doesn’t fit— too hot all over.
Bakugou whose eyes shine brightly as he registers the tension pulled taught & tight between you two, waiting for it to snap like a rubber band. Who’s absolutely gonna rip your clothes off—after he hits you a couple more times (consensually of course)
Bakugou who is just a beat too quick for you. Who spars on equal ground with you for a few minutes before he strikes like lightening, jabbing you in the nose. Who doesn’t put enough pressure in the weight of it to break the bone, but enough for your head to shoot backwards, your eyes involuntarily welling with tears.
Bakugou who grits his teeth so tightly they may crack & pants heavily as he watches your pretty pink tongue lap up the trail of blood running into your mouth from your nose. Who just about falls to his damn knees when you set loose an unhinged, delirious grin on him. (he’s so in love it makes him sick)
Bakugou who takes it in stride when you lunge for him, shoulder digging into his belly painfully as he lands with an oof on the sparring mat. Who groans throatily as the wind is knocked out of him, base of his skull knocking on the ground hard enough for him to see stars. Whose cock starts twitching again as he trembles with adrenaline.
Bakugou whose bare chest is slippery with sweat, beads of it trailing down his neck and pooling on the mat as he lets out a borderline hysterical laugh. Who can feel how sticky the tip of his dick is where it strains against his shorts. Who doesn’t hesitate before rolling you to your back, slamming your shoulders down to the floor.
Bakugou who shoves your sports bra up roughly, just enough to let your tits pop out, groping them with hunger as he leans down to kiss you ferociously. Who can taste the coppery, bitter tang of your blood mixing with his when he licks into your mouth—who puts Kirishima’s quirk to shame with how fucking hard his cock is.
Bakugou whose bottom lip stings like lemon juice was poured into it as his mouth meets yours over & over, saliva everywhere. Who pulls back just enough to let the corners of his lips tug upwards deviously—blood staining his otherwise pearly white teeth (you think your heart stops, but you know your pussy drools)
Bakugou who manhandles you onto your belly, violently ripping your shorts in half & off, before forcing your ass into the air. Who reaches a hand forward to place a palm at the base of your skull, shoving your face into the grimy mat—which you’re sure is disgusting. Who growls “stay” in a menacing tone, punching a whine out of you. You can still taste the blood in your mouth & your face aches dully.
Bakugou who meanly smacks your bare pussy—making sure his fingers strike your clit. Who revels in your yelp, tilting his head backwards as he gets on his knees, shoving his shorts down, cock bouncing free. Who grips his shaft & presses the tip between your folds, bullying his way in all at once.
Bakugou who listens to you almost sob, who hears you laugh delightedly when he pins you down by the nape of your neck, fingers digging into the sides, starting to fuck you like the nasty dog he is. Who yanks one wrist behind you, twisting your arm till it throbs painfully as he uses it for leverage.
Bakugou whose pelvis smacks wetly, obscenely into your ass, so fucking loudly it echoes through the training room. Who decides to pin both arms behind your back so harshly you think they may pop out of socket. Who watches his cock disappear into your slick, velvety pussy like his life depends on it. Mouth hanging open, tongue running over his canines.
Bakugou whose entire body throbs and aches with soreness, who knows a bruise is forming on his jaw as he rolls it around. Who doesn’t let his filthy deep stroke slow down until your pussy clenches his cock in a vice—cumming & screaming his name so loudly your throat is raw.
Bakugou who snarls “you’re such a nasty bitch, I love you so fucking much”. Who lets out a whine after you squeeze around his dick again, switch flipping & cooing “God, you look so pretty taking my cock sugar, your pussy fucking loves me” Who pants hotly as he spits out his words. It gives you a head rush.
Bakugou who is on the edge cumming so hard his vision will white out, whose toes start to curl, cock throbbing, who molds his chest to your upper back, white knuckling the flesh on your hips as he cums with a choked off moan. Who thrusts at just the right angle to make you squirt all over the mat below you—cumming with a howl
Bakugou who gulps air as he rolls off you, heart thundering, who feels pleasure buzzing through his blood as flops onto his back, who then turns on his side, smoothing a hand up and down your back comfortingly when you collapse on to your belly, melting into the floor
Bakugou who lets you both lay there for several, long moments as the two of you return to normal states of being, adrenaline wearing off & revealing all the ugly, nasty sore spots from your fight. Who winces as he runs a tongue over the slowly clotting open wound on his bottom lip.
Bakugou who somehow ushers you to the showers, after cleaning the mess you made, who cleans your body gently, kissing the sore bridge of your nose in an apology. Who gets you both home & into bed for a much needed nap—after grabbing an ice pack for his bruised jaw. Who whispers sweet nothings into your hair, snuggling you close as you pass out on his chest.
#bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bakugo smut#bakugo katuski#bakugo headcanons#bakugou katsuki#bakugou smut#mha smut#bakugo katuski x reader#bakugou headcanons#bakugou katsuki x reader#mha headcanons#bakugou x you#bakugo x you#mha x reader
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✨️1K Followers Celebration Day 6: Seventeen bias wrecker - Dino✨️
Affect
AN: This has been in my drafts for 600 years because those clips of him from In The Soop still haunt me. I just think it's funny that because it took me so long to get to this, we got even more shirtless Dino in the gym content recently. Clearly a sign from the universe to finish this lmao. I was going to go on a whole unhinged rant about him but, I'll spare you all. We're all going to ignore that 1. his is the longest so far and 2. I've written the most for him out of every idol, thanks.
Synopsis: You thought working out with Chan would be a fun, productive way to spend time together. However, you're sorely unprepared for just how distracting he can be.
Heads up: Lee Chan x Fem! Reader, friends to lovers of sorts, Reader going through it because of her attraction to Chan, praise kink (f. receiving), Chan being a menace, technically public sex I guess (they fuck in the gym but, no one catches them and it's not brought up as a concern), hair pulling, dirty talk, petnames used for Reader, nipple play (f. receiving), oral sex (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), unprotected piv sex, Reader cries a little and creampie.
Word count: 4138
I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.
You knew you were doomed the moment you saw Chan in his workout clothing. His shirt sticking to his torso and practically acting like a second skin. You're sure if you looked hard enough, you could see the outlines of his nipples. His shorts were worse, somehow. Beckoning you to look at his toned thighs and zero in on how they hugged his ass.
Today is going to be more challenging than you anticipated.
"So, where do you want to start?" He asks, snapping you out of so blatantly ogling one of your closest friends. God, what're you thinking? You're here to spend time with him. Not think about how broad his shoulders are and just how muscular his ass would feel if you gave it a squeeze or five.
"You're the gym expert. You tell me," You pray to whichever deity is listening that Chan mistakes the delicate quality in your voice for anything other than how much just seeing him dressed like this affects you.
His laugh is boisterous and fills you with so much warmth, turning the already present butterflies in your stomach into dragons. One person shouldn't have this much power over you.
"I better not hear any complaining then," he responds with a wide smile, his eyes crinkling with mirth. Yeah, maybe being alone with the man you're borderline in love with isn't the wisest decision you've ever made, but it's too late now. You resist the scowl that wants to make itself known on your face when you invision a knowing Soonyoung in your mind. He's the one who suggested this to begin with. You're definitely going to be having some words with him the next time you see him, that evil man. He knew exactly what he was doing.
You severely underestimated how much worse this could get. You thought just seeing him in his tight-fitting gym attire was enough to fog up your brain but, that was before you heard the noises.
Lee Chan is a vocal man in all areas of life. Well, all areas of life that you've experienced him in. He's always talking, laughing, yelling at points, singing, sometimes rapping to fill the silence, and a million other things. The point being, Chan is not a quiet man. So, it shouldn't take you by surprise that he's vocal while he's working out too.
Still, the quiet grunts that fall from his lips and fill the otherwise relatively silent gym when he lifts weights causes your heart to beat wildly in your chest. The drawn-out groans when he finishes a set or stretches out his muscles might be the worst. Coupled with the way he grits his jaw and his face contorts when he's lifting, it's frankly a miracle you haven't spontaneously combusted.
However, as you stand and watch him while he illustrates how he wants you to lift these weights to your absolute horror and mortification, you realise you're getting wet. Not only that, but a barely there ache is beginning to make itself known between your thighs.
You're sure your face is radiating enough heat to power a small apartment building. You're really getting this worked up just watching him work out? What in the world is wrong with you? Are you truly this needy? You definitely need to call Soonyoung after this and yell at him until you're hoarse.
"Do you want to try now?" Chan asks you, kind eyes focused on you. You really might be the world's worst friend.
"Yeah, sure," you respond, pulling yourself together as best as you can given that you're unravelling at the seams. The weights aren't too heavy. You test them in your hold momentarily before imitating Chan's movements. There's a slight burn in your biceps but, otherwise you feel fine. It feels good, even. The slight burn fueling you.
"That's my girl,"
Oh.
Oh no.
That's all it takes for you to falter. Your mind suddenly completely forgetting the motions for the exercise you watched minutes ago.
"You were doing good just now but, try doing it this way," he says, standing up from where he'd been seated to watch you. His hands correcting your hold on the weights and the positioning of your arms. Every brush of his fingers on your skin leaves electricity in their wake. Fuck. Fuck this is bad. This is so bad.
Trying to remember how to be a normal human being, you nod at his words. Following his guidance and resuming the exercise precisely how he showed you now that your brain is semi-functional again.
"There you go. Good job," perhaps you should be a little more concerned about just how much his praise increases your pulse and worsens the way your panties are already sticking to you, but that's a thought for examining on another day. You can only handle so much right now.
"How about some pull-ups next?"
"Chan, do I strike you as the kind of person even capable of doing a single pull-up?"
"You could learn today,"
When all you respond with is a stone faced expression, he seems to get the message loud and clear, "Okay, fine. I'll do pull-ups and you do squats. How does that sound?"
"Now you're speaking my language,"
On the ever growing list of 'things you're violently unprepared for today', the next to be added is Chan just casually taking off his shirt. That stops you dead in your tracks. Your lips parting as his bare back comes into your line of sight. You thought it was broad before, but now? Seeing it completely bare? Broad feels like too simplistic of a word to describe it.
You knew, logically, that Chan was ripped. You've seen his arms, paying special attention to them more times than you care to admit. All of the guys work out regularly, and most of them mention Chan as one of the more dedicated members of the group when it came to hitting the gym.
You knew all of that, and yet, seeing the evidence a mere few metres in front of your very eyes leaves you speechless and stunned. Chan must notice your blatantly staring because he turns to look at you over his shoulder, "Is everything okay?"
You must struggle to come up with a believable response too long because he both looks and sounds panicked as he continues on, "Shit, did I make you uncomfortable? I should've asked if you were okay with me taking my shirt off. I'm sorry."
His panic must be infectious because you soon find yourself in a similar state, "No, no, Chan, it's okay. You did nothing wrong. I don't mind you being shirtless," quite the opposite actually, and that's the issue, but you decide to keep that bit to yourself.
"Are you sure? I really don't mind putting it back on if it's a problem,"
"Yes, I'm sure. It's really not a big deal,"
He looks unsure briefly but seems to accept your words. Giving you a nod before turning back to face the pull-up bar and begin his routine. You barely register the faint sting in your thighs from how deeply your nails are clawing into them. Eagle eyes drinking in as much as you can of every muscle contraction of his back. Your panties growing uncomfortably wet now as your ears are assaulted with grunts louder than the ones before.
You need to take a cold shower that lasts hours after this. At least you have a good month's worth of masturbation material now, so there's that.
Chan finishes his set far quicker than you would've liked. Sweat drenching his handsome face and droplets running down his jaw, his neck, his collarbones, his pecs until they disappear into the waistband of his shorts. Would it be so horrible to admit that you'd love to see just where those droplets wind up? That you'd happily follow their path with your tongue instead of your eyes?
"Hey, is everything okay?" Chan asks, dropkicking you out of your obscene thoughts.
"Ye-Yeah. Why do you ask?"
"It's just um you haven't really moved, and you've been kind of...staring at me?"
Oh no. Oh god, he noticed. No fucking shit he noticed you've probably been staring at him with all of the subtly of a rhino in a tea shop. Why did you have to make a day meant to be catching up with a friend so fucking weird.
"I-sorry. You're just distracting," is what comes out of your mouth in your blind panic.
"Distracting?" He asks, titling his head, "I'm distracting? Distracting how?"
By being shirtless, with all of the noises you've been making all day, by touching me, by telling me what a good job I've been doing, by just existing in the same space as me - are all of the thoughts that spring up in your mind. All the thoughts you show a great deal of restraint in not word vomiting out at him.
To your absolute mortification, an expression akin to understanding dawns on Chan's face. You've never wanted the Earth to spilt open and swallow you whole more than in this moment.
"Oh, I'm distracting huh?" Chan asks with a grin a touch too arrogant for you, taking a step towards you.
"No! It's not - I'm not - I wasn't - it wasn't like that," you stutter out, growing ever more flustered as a shirtless, sweaty Chan invades your space.
"It wasn't like what exactly?" He asks, mischief shining clear as day in his typically warm eyes.
Before you can consciously think about it, you find yourself stepping backwards. Much to the amusement of the man you're not sure if you want to kiss or throttle in front of you.
You decide to abandon the route you were on and attempt another one, "I'm sorry for staring at you."
"You don't have to apologise," Chan waves you off, "But I do want to know why you were staring,"
It's clear as day to anyone with basic critical thinking skills why you were so laser focused on his stupid back and shoulders. He just wants you to say it. You never took Chan for the humiliation type.
"You know why," you mutter, leaning against the wall that you had no idea you'd even gotten so close to. You suppose your brain is too preoccupied with trying to keep your friendship from going up into flames.
"I don't. You have to tell me," You really want to punch that shit eating grin off of his face. Your adrenaline spiking as he takes another step towards you.
"You're really annoying, you know that?"
"I've heard that once or twice over the years. Still doesn't answer my question though,"
"I think you're attractive, okay?" You finally blurt out. Looking at everything but him in the gym. Studiously focused on one of the treadmills in towards the back, over his shoulder.
"Aw, I'm flattered," he responds, so close to you now that all you'd have to do is reach out, and you'd be touching his bare chest. You have a feeling this isn't going to bode well for you.
"Whatever. You got the answer you wanted. Are you happy now?"
"You know, for being one of the smartest women I know, you're pretty dense," he responds dryly.
"What? Hey!"
"Do you really think I'd react this way to anyone saying they think I'm hot? Do I really have to spell it out for you?"
All you can do is owlishly blink at him. His words washing over you, trying your hardest to digest what he just said to you.
"I think you might have to spell it out for me, yeah," you mutter more breathlessly than you care to admit. It certainly doesn't become any easier to breathe when Chan is fully in your space, crowding you against the gym wall. His scent flooding your system, worsening the wetness between your thighs and muddling your mind even more.
"Is this okay?" He whispers, mere centimetres away from your mouth. His eyes considerably darker than they were minutes ago.
"Yes,"
"May I kiss you?"
"Yes," if anyone asks, you don't sound needy in the slightest when you reply to him.
You quickly learn that Lee Chan, as with many other facets of his life, excels in kissing you until you can think of nothing but, him. Not your mind has been anywhere else for the past few hours to begin with.
Your hands make themselves at home on his shoulders, fingers digging into the muscle there as you pour what feels like centuries worth of yearning into this kiss.
"May I touch you?" He mutters against your mouth and, you wonder why he'd ever stop kissing you to ask such a stupid question.
"Yes, Chan. You can do whatever you want. I don't care," you rush out in response, dragging his mouth back to yours to feed into what is quickly becoming your newest addiction.
With your green light, his hands drift towards your oversized shirt. Smiling against your mouth when you shudder from the brief brushes of his fingertips along your abdomen while he toys with the hem of your shirt.
"I didn't think you'd be one to tease," you say.
"Have you thought about me like this often?" You really had to be so weak for such an insufferable man huh.
You choose to kiss him instead of replying, tugging on his hair in retaliation for the grin you know is on his face. Luckily for you, Chan seems to have had his fill of toying with you for now. Shoving your shirt upwards, pulling away from you briefly to tug it off of you fully.
He just stares at you. Want clear as day in his eyes as he watches your chest rise and fall and how your sports bra outlines your hardened nipples. You find yourself growing a little self-conscious under his heavy gaze. You hadn't picked your outfit with the goal of winding up like this in mind.
"You're staring," you finally find the courage to say, pushing down every instinct to cross your arms over your chest.
"Just returning the favour," he quips back, jumping back into action and acquainting himself with your throat. You can't help the moans and throaty gasps that leave your lips as his kisses and nips at your sensitive skin, exploiting every weak spot he can find. One of his hands reaching down to fondle your breast, running his thumb over your nipple through the fabric of your bra.
All you can manage to do is lean against the wall for stability. Every kiss and lick and squeeze sending lightning down your spine straight to your clit. You wouldn't be surprised if your legging were wet, too, at this point.
"You're so responsive," he whispers against your neck. Given how quietly he said it, you're not sure whether he meant to verbalise that thought or not, but you can't think to respond when he pushes your bra up.
He dots kisses along your breasts. Each press of his lips bringing him closer and closer to one of your nipples before he envelopes one into his warm mouth. He seems intent to wring every noise, every reaction out of you that he possibly can. Teasingly running his teeth along the sensitive bud, smiling when you arch into his touch. His nimble fingers find themselves at the waistband of your leggings. Slipping into them and pulling a particularly loud gasp from you when they come into contact with your more than likely ruined panties.
Your face burns when Chan's expression morphs into one of surprise, his fingers running along your panty covered slit as if to affirm to himself you're really this wet already.
"I didn't realise I had such a strong effect on you," he says against your breast, his voice gravelly, "Fuck, you're already so wet."
A strangled moan is all you can offer when he finds your swollen clit.
"Poor baby. Don't worry, I'll take care of you. Just need to get you out of these," he says, kneeling in front of you and pulling your leggings and panties down. You kick off your shoes impatiently to help ease the process, leaving you almost fully naked.
"I can't believe you're this wet when I haven't even touched you properly," he says, sounding genuinely amazed. Intense gaze focused on your swollen, slick slit. Lifting one of your legs and letting it rest over one of his shoulders.
Anticipation settles in your gut as Chan makes himself comfortable between your thighs. Your hips jolting into him when he experimentally touches you once more, completely bare this time. Your wetness generously coating his thick fingers. Your eyes flutter shut as he shifts closer, goosebumps rising all over your body when his warm breaths hit you.
His first lap of you is messy and passionate. A muffled groan is your only warning before he grips your thigh and all but shoves his face into you. One of your hands fists his hair, not sure if you want him even closer or whether you need a minute from the sensations wreaking your system.
"Ch-Chan ah god," you cry out, your hold on his hair worsening. He doesn't seem to mind all that much, however. Intently focused on grinding your pussy against tongue until you fall into pieces for him.
With his mouth latched onto your clit, he teases your entrance with two of his fingers and you feel faint. His eyes find yours momentarily, looking at you through his hair as he checks for any signs of discomfort or reservations. Watching your face while he slowly sinks his fingers into you. His cock leaking even more when your warm, wet walls squeeze his fingers for dear life. He's so fucked.
The stretch his fingers provide requires some adjusting to, and Chan catches onto that. Focusing his attention back on your clit and providing some distraction while you get used to his fingers.
The wall behind you is proving to be extremely helpful. You're sure you would've crumpled onto the floor by now with the way Chan is determined to devour you whole and his fingers curl inside of you. Embarrassment warming your face as the squelching sounds of your wetness and his fingers moving inside of you hit your ears. Those sounds are accompanied by louder moans and whimpers from you when his fingers strike gold. Finding your weak spot and going for the kill.
He exploits your weaknesses gleefully, assaulting the spot over and over again while he continues his ministrations on your clit. It's no wonder your orgasm doesn't take long to slam into you. Watery cries of his name and jumbled curses echoing throughout the empty gym. You're sure you're hurting him from how fiercely you're gripping his hair. You couldn't remember the last time you'd cum this hard. Sagging against the wall when the most intense parts of it subside.
Chan presses one last kiss to your pussy before easing his fingers out of you. Standing up on unsteady legs, cupping your jaw and slamming his mouth against yours. The taste of yourself on his tongue further fueling the fog clouding your mind. Desperate hands dragging him closer to you, revelling in his closeness and the firmness of his body against your own.
"If I knew you tasted this good, I would've offered to eat you out a long time ago," he says when you shift to litter kisses on his jaw.
"If I knew you did it so well, I would've let you," you respond with an easy smile. However, any humour in your tone dissipates when you register his cock pressing against your thigh. Scorching and heavy even through the material of his shorts. Fuck.
Your mouth finds his once more. Teeth and tongue clashing with one another as he grinds himself against you, groaning into you.
"Chan, please," you whine.
"Hmm? Please, what?" You're not sure if he's genuinely too disoriented to understand what you're asking of him or if he wants you to beg. Either way, you've long since abandoned any semblance of pride.
"Please fuck me,"
His eyes shut briefly, and you watch the way his jaw clenches, "You're going to be the death of me."
If you weren't aching and noticeably empty, you might've giggled at his words. Watching him shove his shorts and underwear down his thick, muscular thighs through lidded eyes. A fresh wave of wetness gushes out of you when his cock springs free. Of course his cock would look mouthwatering too. Of course.
"You really do like to stare, huh?" he muses, stepping closer to you. Hoisting one of your legs over his elbow.
"Sh-Shut up," you stutter, fingernails digging into his biceps as he drags his cock along your pussy. His cock glistening with your arousal in no time.
"That's not nice," he faux pouts, nudging your entrance with his tip. Your knees almost buckle underneath you. A moan bubbling out of just from him toying with you.
"Chan, please. I want it. I want you, please-"
You're promptly cut off when he pushes inside of you. If you thought the stretch provided by his fingers was overwhelming, the girth of cock brings tears to your eyes. Your strained gasps and his restrained groans intertwining.
Is it possible to cum just from being so full? Lee Chan might just help you answer that question. You're not sure you've ever felt so full and stretched out in your entire life. A few stray tears running down your face already.
"Are you okay?" He asks, looking just as wrecked and overwhelmed as you feel. He's practically vibrating from the effort not to move. His cock pulsing inside of you.
"Ye-Yeah. It doesn't hurt. You can move," you respond. It's now or never.
Chan starts off very slowly. Letting you grow accustomed to his girth with every drag of him along your walls. Muttering quiet praises into your neck about how well you're doing, how good you feel, and how you're taking him so well. His words prompting you to clench around him and gush around him.
"Chan, faster, please. You can move faster. It's okay, I can take it," you whine. You feel like you're going to lose your mind if he keeps thrusting so slowly. His consideration is sweet. Really, it is, but it's torturous too. From the way he seems to be restraining himself, you assume the feeling is mutual.
Something snaps in him then. His eyes more feral than they were moments ago as he picks up his pace considerably. The sounds of your wetness and skin slapping against skin mingling with your respective noises of pleasure.
"Taking my cock like such a good girl," he groans into your shoulder, sliding impossibly deeper into you when he angles himself a little differently than before.
Perhaps he's noticed the way his praise impacts you. His filthy mouth not stopping.
"Look, baby," he mutters lowly into your ear, "I want you to look at how well your pussy takes me,"
You can't find it in you to disobey. Chasing the high of being his good girl. So, you glance downwards. Your cheeks heating up as you watch him fuck into you and the way you're being split open by him. You never thought the sight of yourself being fucked would garner such a strong reaction from you but, you've been learning quite a bit about yourself today.
"It's hot, isn't it?" He asks, a moan falling from his lips when you tighten around him, "So hot watching me fuck this pretty pussy of yours."
You've never cum just from penetration but, Chan is proving himself to be head and shoulders above every other man you've slept with. You're completely and utterly caught off guard when you cum for a second time and, Chan seems to be too. Startled, wide eyes watching you shatter in front and around him for a second time. Ever the caring gentleman as he soothes and fucks you through it.
You're barely coherent when Chan's pitchy moans of your name register to your mind and you feel his warm, thick cum flood your awaiting pussy. His hips weakly twitching into yours with ever spurt of his cum inside of you.
Honestly, it's a wonder both of you are still standing. Barely, but you're standing. Leaning into each other and the trusty wall for support as you come back to yourselves.
"If working out with you always ends up like this, we should work out together more often," he says, kissing your neck and shoulder lazily.
You really just had to fall for one of the most eye roll inducing men you've ever met, huh.
#lee chan smut#dino smut#seventeen smut#seventeen dino smut#dino seventeen smut#chan smut#chan seventeen smut#seventeen chan smut#1k followers celebration day 6#1k followers celebration#1k followers milestone
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That's What You Get When You Eat a Mandrake~ (Beel Butt L-Card Story: Ch.1) *React I*
-the bby
WE ARE LIVING IN AVISOS LATELY HUH??
Sure we got a healthy dose of our Hades bois, but there's been a lot of content with Avisos popping up lately and I'm like huh...it seems the fave locations are Gehenna and Avisos as opposed to Tartaros and Hades.
Anyway this is the first node of the Beel booty story (hooray everyone that got it!) I would technically say this isn't spoilers unless you were unable to get the card then it's technically spoilers but everyone's seen it I assume but just in casseeee
LETS GO another two-parter...this time because there's a new boo I get to ramble about. Get yourself a snackkyyy snack and let's go ( ˘▽˘)っ♨
First we enter Dong-gyun that is at this gift store having his home-made butt shaped chocolates get wrapped professionally
Let me just say that Dong-gyun is a d o r a b l e. And I love him so much. For some reason he reminds me of Yoosung from MYMES and idk why when they clearly aren't the similar just the blonde hair lmao
Maybe it's the soft boi casual hoodie-wearing vibes I'm loving? Anyways
Poor bby was kicked out of the store for being a bit overbearing lol that and it's busy with everyone celebrating their first valentines day in Avisos because MC is also there (they truly do party for any reason it's great) Because they're out here making out, doing shit in the streets like this is wild lol
But DonBear (my nickname for him) made the chocolates for MC :)))) he has like a huge one-sided crush on them and I think that's just the cutest thing.
I also want to add that he's not one of the 72 either, he's just a regular day-to-day lower-level devil and I love that we get to see that. I wanna know how life is for devils who just are "there" ya know?? Like Nina for instance (RIP ;.;)
So he finds out where MC is at and he notices everyone and their mom (except for the 7 grandmothers, i wanna know more about that actually :o) are there with chocolates they have given MC. But he doesn't mind waiting in line.
I only wanted to add this screenshot because I'm crying, Minhyeok forever in the friendzone trenches because "friendship chocolates?????" free this man please.
Ahhh so our DonBear was able to to make it and he prepares to give his chocolates until....
Oh
First. Why
Is
He
So
HOT???
I can imagine how his jaw had to unhinge unhumanly to eat that pile of chocolate and I'd just be like o__o oh
Second...girl...he gonna give you back that chocolate alright if you want (yes this is a poop joke. no i am not into that i just find it funny mc really sat there and asked for it back like you're either gonna get vomit or poop which one?)
The funny part tho is Beel is casually like "I already ate it tho"
Yes bby we know that. I'd like for you to replace it because you prefer to be childish and eat things that don't belong to you to show your dominance or whatever okay <3
See? See the fucking snark this one has?
>:P he's getting bitten
Leave DonBear alone D: at least let us eat our butt shaped chocolates he spent time making from scratch (also look at his face I'll protect you omg)
Beel.
Beel.
Beel.
You're going in time-out I swear. The naughty corner.
Sigh....maybe you'll be forgiven if you let DonBear make another batch of chocolates for me
AND this part? Where Beel fainted and is having some kind of episode???? I was like omfg it's whatever was in the chocolates isn't it? It's the damn mandrake stuff isn't it?
And our Avisos bois came to the rescue immediately because they thought it was some kind of attack. (it's really cool how they can sense stuff like this immediately)
So while everyone's trying to help Beel and figure out what's wrong with him and take him to the hospital and such (and dragging DonBear along because they suspect it's him that did it) we go into a flash back!!!
So Dong-hyung was hanging out and being the designated driver kinda friend (the one that stays sober and watches the others) but he doesn't really drink like that anyway so he doesn't mind babysitting.
LMAO so these two characters waltz into the bar and DonBear is kinda side-eyeing them because I mean I'm crying why is MC a clown? xD it makes me think of those memes again dammit
MC showing their ID at the bar 💀💀💀💀💀💀
anyways
So what's funny is that MC is me because they're drunk asf slurring and saying some shit and Beel is just thinking this is cute and just letting it happen such a bad influence... xD
ME coded.
Silly drunk clown bitch hours.
My ass would be laughing at everything and saying the floor is lavvvaaa Beel...the floor is lavvvaaaaaa carry meeeeee
xD
So iirc MC ends up bumping into DonBear and he just knows how to handle the situation perfectly and this was after he realized that it was Beel and MC in disguise and not just two randos in the bar.
Beel gestured for him to come outside with them and he's fanboying about the situation and I find that entirely cute. He's a sweetie and I want good things for him.
DREAM ON DONG-HYUNG I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU????
even though we all pretty much know how this works though for the most part when it comes to who is the designated 72. Someone should draw him in the uniform though (throwing this idea out there)
LOL so he flopped MC on DonBear and is just like so this kind of night arouses angels...so hold MC for me in case I have to fight or something. And I'm just like oh dear...the poor bby is kinda struggling to carry MC are they that heavy? Lol
He's so determined. I love it
So here, DonBear is asking a lot of questions and one of them is if Bael and Beel are twins, and Beel is like yeah Bael would not like it if I said yes so I'll say no even if we are.
Beel your roundabout answer is killing me lmao
He....he....he almost came from being petted on the nape of his neck??????
*screams*
He's perfect for dry humping, and anything of the sort that doesn't involve penetration because he's so sensitive I love him. I could hug him and rub his back and he'd love it. (granted this means tho that this is only for his favorite person or the person he's crushing on this sounds like he wouldn't react this way to a stranger)
So Bael was getting onto Beel for MC being in this state and just going on and on and Beel is like "Well it's not like I could have just left MC there no way they're drunk :D" so gentlemanly like and Bael agrees that the devils in Avisos are gentleman (are they...? I would assume some aren't)
ANNDDD I've hit the limit my lovelies. (on screenshots allowed in said post) So we're gonna stop here until we get to the other post ^^ see you thereeeee
->Part Two<-
#whb#what in hell is bad#whb beelzebub#whb dong hyun#whb screencaps#whb spoilers#card spoilers#whb reacts
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Hola this is my first req
Might I request hcs for Hobie and Miles (separately) x male reader who is a fellow super hero with a mutation in his jaw that gave him a snake bite?(sharp teeth, unhinging jaw, venom)
Despite how scary reader can look he is very kind and courteous (and head over heels for his spider boy) and Hobie and Miles help him get over his insecurities about smiling around others
Fluffy and romantic pls (sorry if it too specific lol)
Thank you and keep being awesome
😎🫶 - Crax
hobie and miles with snake mutated boyfriends !
welcome back crax lmao, the request slapped dw, you nailed it !
AND IM SO SORRY for keeping you waiting, shit kept going on in my life
separate, established relationships
warnings: hobie brown ?
pairing: hobie brown x male!reader, miles morales x male!reader
requests: refer to the masterlist please !
★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧
you wanna know how many fucks hobie gives about the mutation ? zero
in like the most respectful but effortlessly cool way
mutations are nothing new to him, man fights mutants on the daily
just views it as an extension of yourself, it’s apart of who you are
if you can accept that, he’s happy
would absolutely be a hype man if not though, he don’t fuck w insecurity
one thing i think he’d reference a lot ? medusa, because of that one sticker on his guitar
maybe he’s a huge greek mythology guy and thinks that your mutation is a sign for this and that- like that one comment he made about metaphors for capitalism, i think he liked to analyse things like an english student
with your unhinging jaw and venomous bite he liked to say some absurd stuff like “just goes to show how independence and self sufficiency can overcome the norms regardless of [politics]” hinting at that while you may have some unconventionally appreciated features, you’re able to rise above it and be a hero like a badass
so that being said, he thinks your smile alone is dope and can represent so much more if you want it to
if you wear a mask or something to cover it up, he’ll never insist on taking it off unless you’re comfortable, it’s not his place to dictate what you wear
he may however make a comment or two about it
“hope you’re not wearin’ tha’ to cover up them teeth of yours” ur teeth are so cool
if you’re insecure about how like exposed ur teeth are when you smile, Hobie gets into the habit of pulling his cheek back w his finger when smiling (at the appropriate times) just to show there’s nothin to be afraid of
sticks his tongue out too for funsies, ESPECIALLY if you’ve got a forked tongue
it’s a true shame getting ur tongue split is illegal in the UK, he’d love to match
at the end of the day when alls said and done, if you can’t bring yourself to feel comfortable in your own skin while you’re out and about, he’ll make it clear that he doesn’t care about your unhinging jaw or teeth or venom in private, cause that’s where it counts in his head
he thinks you look badass and really doesn’t think you should pay attention to what other people think anyway, under any circumstances
but especially when you go out there together and make a genuine difference in the world as heroes, even if you don’t call yourselves that
has once cracked a joke along the lines of “my boyfriend will bite you” and it was actually a threat, in the most loving way
miles
he might be like- a bit surprised the first time meeting you, maybe have some slightly insensitive questions but he means no offence
he just can’t keep his mouth shut sometimes
i think he’s a tiny bit afraid at first but warms up quickly, miles doesn’t seem like a snake guy and i can see him being the associating anything with everything kinda guy
definitely felt guilty for that one now ur boyfriends
massive fan of drawing you and your snake-ness, you look so funky in his style
really likes being heroes together :]
took a double take the first time he saw your jaw unhinge but now he seems jealous at times
after having a super serious conversation about it he immediately says something so off handed that it completely cuts whatever tension there might have been
makes an excellent point that you could swallow a burber whole, he thinks that’s an accomplishment fs
“you can eat a burger in one, that’s skill.” he’s so sure of himself while saying that
there’s something very terrifying but reassuring and endearing about you having such a dangerous mouth with you ur venom and such, used some strange ass logic like “he COULD kill me, but he won’t”
so when you are comfortable just being urself and not covering up your smile, he honestly feels really grateful and trusted
mans never gonna break that trust, he’s never gonna hurt you
ur polite asf too so he doesn’t even second guess introducing you to his parents, doesn’t think things along the lines of “gonna introduce my snake boyfriend” it’s more like “he’s so polite this is an easy win”
IF YOU SMILE HE SMILES, that’s all i’m sayin
therefore, you should smile more and not go out of your way to hide it
he won’t really say anything if you actively choose to in public, you might catch him lookin a bit sympathetic from the corner of your eye if he notices you purposely doing it
it’s not his place to say a thing, but he’d really appreciate it if you got out of that habit, and he’s happy to help
like he might busy your hands just so you don’t subconsciously cover your mouth, that kinda things
he could do this by holding them or whatever
please don’t be embarrassed of urself, you are so so handsome
★⋆ ⋆☆⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆☆⋆⋆★✧
sorry it’s not insanely romantic ?? i cant really see these boys being like that so i kinda struggled a bit w that
sorry if this is just not great overall i’ve been out of it shshshs
#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#headcanon#ask#imagine#oneshot#hobie brown#male reader#atsv hobie#hobie spiderverse#hobie brown x male reader#hobie x you#hobie x reader#hobie brown x you#hobie brown x masc!reader#hobie brown x y/n#hobie brown x reader#miles morales x you#miles x y/n#miles morales x reader#miles morales x male reader#miles morales across the spiderverse#miles morales atsv
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if you're still looking for prompts, dare i say...reader and cumulus thoroughly taking care of each other while the cardinal watches, tied up and helpless :3 (the internet has been out these last few days and now i crave filth lmao)
-unhinged family anon
this is ticking all my boxes in more ways than one so naturally i have to write it
Pairing: Cumulus x f!Reader x Cardinal Copia
Words: ???
Tags: bondage, voyeurism, titty sucking, cunnilingus, dildos
~~~
“Told you the red would look good on him,” you say to the ghoulette currently lazing next to you on the bed.
Both of you are nude and are content to idly run your hands over one another, watching the mismatched eyes of the man tied up in a chair directly across from the bed dart between your bodies. He looks breathtaking, your Cardinal, with strands of silvering brown hair stuck to his damp forehead, chest heaving and straining against the rope binding him to his seat. Cumulus was thorough and snug in her knots, allowing very little movement for him and you’re impressed by the results. His fair, freckled skin is flushed and you note the way his hips make tight little circles in a pathetic effort to get some relief to his hard and reddened cock.
“Mmmm, don’t you love it when he looks so desperate?”
You chuckle, nosing against the ghoulette’s hair with your hand drifting across her belly.
“So sweet,” you coo as you begin to pepper kisses along her jawline, “I think he deserves a treat.”
In a smooth movement, Cumulus shifts her body towards you and captures your lips in a languorous, wet kiss. You loved the decadence that came with being with her and loved even more when you had a rapt audience. The two of you giggling into each other’s mouths between kisses has the jaw of the bound Cardinal hanging open as if he wishes to speak, but he knows better. Knows that he’s just a simple spectator to your pleasure. And boy were you two ready to put on a show. With a swift movement you straddle the ghoulette and arch your back for the Cardinal’s enjoyment. Cumulus laughs out loud and delivers a sweet, sharp smack to your ass.
“Don’t torture the poor man, love,” she grins, hands kneading the flesh of your hips.
“Why wouldn’t I when he likes it so much? Don’t you, caro?”
Dutifully, no words leave his mouth but he frantically nods and worries at his lower lip with his teeth. Feeling devilish, you lower your mouth to suck and nip at the ghoulette’s collarbone, leaving a necklace of dark bruises across her soft flesh. When your hand comes up to cup her full breast, you hear a whimper from behind you.
“Oh he liked that,” Cumulus breathes, fingers toying with your hair. You smile up at her before licking a stripe over her hardened nipple and her head tilts backwards in pleasure.
“Love sucking your tits, ‘Lus,” you murmur, tracing the bud with the tip of your tongue. “Satanas you’re beautiful.”
Her eyes are shut but a soft smile graces her features as the fingers woven in your hair scratch gently at your scalp. With a sigh you take her nipple in your mouth and suck while your other hand toys with the opposite breast. You can hear your audience breathing heavy behind you and you don’t have to look at him to know his hands strain at the bindings. With an exaggerated pop you remove your lips and bite playfully at the soft flesh.
“Isn’t she beautiful, Cardinal?” you ask, turning your head slightly. He looks at you both with wild eyes, seeking permission which Cumulus graciously grants.
“Y-yes. Yes. Both of you. Belle ragazze mie.”
“Ah, ah, ah, Cardinal. Not quite yours yet tonight. But if you’re still a good boy and make a pretty mess of yourself for us, we’ll consider it.”
The low whine that leaves Copia’s throat is pitiful and only worsens as you settle between Cumulus’ legs. You love seeing her spread open for you, the white curls at the apex of her thighs damp with slick and sweat. When you lick a swift stripe through her slit she gasps and pulls your hair.
“A warning next time my love,” she chides as you grin against her mound.
“Apologies, ‘Lus. I will tell you exactly what I’m doing next time. For example, right now I’m going to spread you open and lick up all that sweet mess you’ve made before I suck on your clit until I have you screaming my name. Is that acceptable?”
You swear you hear Copia let out a sob behind you and Cumulus’ tail thumps on the bed beside you. Her pupils are blown as she looks down at you, cheeks flushed and your hunger for her only grows.
“Please, love. Mmm fuck me with your mouth.”
You don’t need to be told twice. Spreading her open with your thumbs you dip your tongue down to her entrance, fuck you loved the taste of her, teasing at the hole. The sweet little noises and the way her hips buck against your mouth are your favorite part of doing this and you tell her so. When your tongue drags upwards and grazes her clit she cries out, claws digging into your scalp. When the chair behind you creaks loudly, your head whips around and the sight that meets your eyes delights you. The Cardinal’s head hangs forward, mouth open, his paints streaked messily down his cheeks. His chest heaves with effort and his hips jerk in their bindings. You desperately want to go to him, to lick up the fat bead of pre currently sliding down his painfully hard cock but you know the rules. And so you return to the task at hand.
Cumulus is so delightfully sensitive, something you adore about her, and the low moan that comes out of her when you suck her clit into your mouth makes your own cunt throb.
“So good, baby, so fucking good. Don’t stop.”
So you don’t. Not until her tail starts to twitch and her moans become higher and higher in pitch, your name a prayer on her lips. When she cums, her claws scratch blood into your skin, back arched off the mattress and every roll and curve of her body undulating. You’d be content to draw a second orgasm from her just like this but she’s shoving you away all of a sudden, overwhelmed and overstimulated.
“Not…not yet. Gotta take care of you first, baby.”
In an instant she flips you onto your back and Copia lets out a long, low moan.
“He hasn’t cum yet,” you say, somewhat impressed, “waiting for both of us, sweet boy?”
His nod is once again frantic, tears sliding out and leaving black streaks down his cheeks. His cock looks painfully hard and you almost feel bad if you didn’t know this is exactly what he wants. Cumulus reaches over to grab something off the bedside table that has you grinning when she presents it to you.
“Awfully big, ‘Lus,” you comment idly at the dildo in her hand, “sure I can take it?”
Cumulus laughs loudly, glancing mischievously at Copia.
“I’ve seen you take his, remember? Isn’t that right, Cardinal? Doesn’t she take your cock so well?”
Copia is trembling at this point, eyes squeezed shut and panting in an attempt to get a hold of himself. Cumulus takes the opportunity to lean down and bite the meat of your breast before laving her tongue over your nipple.
“Eyes open, Cardinal,” she says in a sing-songy voice, “you need to watch her take every last inch.”
Obediently, Copia’s eyes fly open and settle between your spread legs where Cumulus is currently running the tip of the toy.
“Look how wet she’s gotten just from licking my cunt. Such a good girl for me. Don’t you think she deserves a reward?”
Copia’s nostrils flare in an effort to control himself as his head twitches and a hoarse “yes” escapes his throat. With a flick of her thumb, Cumulus turns the vibrator on and presses it against your clit. The feeling of finally getting some relief makes your body turn to jelly, fingers gripping the sheets. She’s content to tease you for a while, bringing you close to the edge before pulling away. You’re about to whine, about to remind her that she’s not torturing you tonight when you feel the head of the dildo pressed insistently against your hole.
“Eyes right here, Cardinal,” she instructs, moving her body to give him a clear view, “you’re gonna watch her take my pretty fat cock just like she takes yours.”
Slowly, torturously slowly for your taste, she pushes the toy inside of you. The abundance of slick coming from you makes its path easy and you moan loudly at the way it stretches you. The cock is halfway inside you when Cumulus ramps up the vibrations, causing your walls to clench.
“Fuck, ‘Lus,” you pant, hands searching for something to hold onto, “fuck that f-feels so good.”
“Mmm I know baby. Look how pretty her cunt looks stretched around my toy, Cardinal. What a pretty show she puts on for us. But I think she can take more…can’t you love?”
Your laugh is a little too loud, a little too wild as you chant a litany of yeses. When she continues pushing the cock into you, your mouth hangs open and eyes roll back. Between the delicious stretch and the way the vibrations feel against your clit you know you’re close.
“A-almost there. So, so close ‘Lus. Please.”
“Hear that, Cardinal? She’s close - and I bet you are too, aren’t you? Look at him, love. Show him how good this makes you feel. Bring him over the edge with you.”
In an instant your eyes fly to meet Copia’s and you swear you’ve never seen him look more desperate. Suddenly you wish he was within your reach so you could use your mouth, your hands, anything to pleasure him. The way he watches you as Cumulus’ pistons the toy in and out of you is pure hunger. With each thrust of her wrist his hips rut forwards, eyes ever on yours. When you finally feel your spine tighten and white hot heat spread across your chest and limbs, your mouth falls open in a shout.
“Cumulus!”
You want to shut your eyes, to bask in your pleasure but then you’d miss the way Copia paints his chest and stomach with ropes of seed, moaning in broken Italian as his mismatched eyes bore into yours. His hips continue to twitch long after he’s spent and gently, Cumulus eases the dildo from your sore cunt. You move to get up but she gently presses you back down into the soft sheets. Panting, you watch her deftly untie the Cardinal from his bindings and guide his limp body into bed beside you. As if by magic she procures a warm rag and cleans up the mess on Copia’s belly and face as you tuck into him and gesture for her to join you both. Smiling warmly, she slips into bed beside you and her tail wraps loosely around your calf.
“You did so well, Copia,” you murmur into his neck, “always so good for us.”
He lets out a weak chuckle.
“It’s eh, very easy to be good for belle ragazze mie. Grazie, amori miei.”
You can feel Cumulus smiling against the curve of your shoulder and before long her low purring begins to lull the three of you to sleep.
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Hiii hello bites you bites you bites you. What are your personal headcanons on spamton?
OUGHHH is bitten is bitten is bitten
they change up so often I see someone's cool headcanon and i just incorporate that into my world view - yoink
UH OK (this got a little long sorry) but here's some of em
Puttin' it under Cut Lol
He was always kinda an asshole! - It was more endearing when he was younger/an Addison but he's always had a big head. Posturing to hide insecurity, fake it till you make it kinda deal. And then he just never stopped.
Like imagine ur lil buddy who always says he's hot shit (but needs u to pay for his drinks and still gets carded cus hes short) suddenly had unlimited money and no one to check his ego. Thus Spamton was born.
Underbite! - I've seen this a lot recently, I feel like but! I love the idea of him having an underbite. Like it was more subtle as an Addison and being Puppetfied just exaggerated a looot of stuff he didn't like about himself.
[Pardon our Interruption]'s have always been a thing - as a Spam Email Addison he had to find certain workarounds to ad blockers and spam blockers. The brackets were supposed to be a Feature that he could use at will, but they kind of never gave him an off button.
The Voice would help him turn [interruptions] into the right words/full fledged ads, when not inflating his clicks. The more scrambled and Puppitfied he got, the worse the [brackets] got as well.
They get worse when he's more upset.
I kinda see them as word association, if that makes sense? He's trying hard to say what he Actually Means but he's so scrambled that he's just got to go for 'good enough/close enough'. I actually find his way of speaking really hard to imitate 1:1 to how he is in-game so . This is how i do it lol.
Cat affinity - he will lie up and down that he hates cats that he does not like pets does not want a pet but he has fed alley Tasques since he was an Addison, even during his Big Shot days, and there are a few around the Trash Zone that are sort of buddies with him.
He was supposed to be a Red Addison - This i flip-flop on a lot. Sometimes i HC him as a plain white addison (cus email) and sometimes i HC that he is defective. I also think it would be funny if he was supposed to be red and because that's a close color to Pink that's why he and Pink Addison don't get along lmao.
Stimming - He clicks his teeth (bad. dont do that, bad for your teeth) and hums and whistles a lot when alone. The teeth clacking can be kind of disturbing if you round a corner and see some guy in an alley unhinging and rehinging his jaw to get Big Noises.
Free time - he uh. he doesn't do a lot, when business is slow/hes too tired or weak to try and sell his junk. He mostly sits in his shop and daydreams or relives old memories from being a bigshot.
Horrible posture - guy has. oh god this guy. his back. oh god. someone put him in a panini press cus he needs that shit fixed. downside of being able to sleep anywhere is what it does to your damn spine.
Puppitfication - This one is one of my favorites. I don't have strong feelings about Acid Bath theory, for me it's kinda meh. I think he's always been short/compact, and I think turning into a puppet took a looong time, was painful, and he ignored it. The more he prayed the worse he got. Think like, peeling skin/Addison fur off. Teeth getting too big/not being able to drop the smile. Losing control of your limbs and voice, suddenly seeing the [strings] and looking up to see the [cross you bare].
He has lips! - Sorta. I have him operating on cartoon logic. If he needs lips for the situation/it would be funny, it happens. My in-universe excuse for it is just magic - monster's are made of magic and the lips just Happen when he needs them. Usually it's a big emotion (big comical frown) or something he has to do on purpose.
Ball Jointed Doll - pretty common. BJD body, save for stomach which I think is a canvasy/maybe rubbery texture.
He is fat - he is old he is fat he has a gut I will not back down on this.
Greying hair - he got his hair dyed during BS era and now he keeps it black any way he can. Motor oil. Grease.
He stinks - dude smells like ass. Dude smells like hot garbage and bad body spray. you drop him in a lake and it turns grey and all the fish float up with little x's on their eyes.
Heart on a Spring - this one I'm not too solid on. I think all Addisons have spring loaded hearts! I can never decide if [Heartonachain] happens because of Neo or if it's pre-corrupted/already corrupted/like that. But he has a little compartment on his chest that can open and his heart (Soul) can pop out. It has a mind of it's own/it's his Soul so it kinda just does what it (he) wants. Has a lil face on it cus thatss cute.
All Addisons have this (face, acting on its own) - it's the last physical barrier around their actual Soul other than their body.
I hc darkners are a lot more... physical than Light World Monsters. A combo of being representations of actual objects.. Idk if they Dust or not. I feel like they leave empty shells behind...
Mike was just some guy - just some guy. Probably like, one of the producers he worked with for photo shoots and commercials. Friends with Spam, but not a Big Bad. I think Tenna's the Big Bad/next secret boss.
Wants to be [Heaven's] realest boy - while he idealizes Lightners as Angels and all, he still thinks he's better than them. This guy is made up of contradictions! He worships [angels] but as we have seen will not hesitate to try to kill one if it means HE gets to go to [Heaven]. He deserves it after all! [let him in] [let him in] [let him in] [let him in]
Also - I think he wouldn't stop once he got to the Light world. Whether he wants to go to the Real World or not is up to interpretation, but he would probably keep seeking More More More when it turns out the Lightworld's just like, another Place. Bigger. Realer.With a lot more Freedom, but it's still just... Life.
I don't think he really knows what he wants what heaven really is. He just wants to be happy and free. [Freedom] is p a pretty nebulous goal./want. I think he'd have to come to terms eventually with the fact that nothing's ever gonna be paradise. He's still gonna have the boring parts of life to deal with.
Trans - idc which way. Masc fem nonbinary no gender left beef this puppet can fit SO much trans into him. He lost his gender during the [ascension].
also getting Neo body for him is sort of gender euphoria for him I think. At last he's Big, he's (he thinks for a second) finally got a body that lets him be Free. One he has control over. man. Toby why did you make the awful puppet a trans allegory.
I have a million more but i cant think of them atm/write them clearly and this is long enough lmao <3
#i have lots of hcs i cannot share cus they would spoil shit for TA#dying tto talk about it frothing at the mouth biting the bars of my encosure augh#bleedingbonemarrow#ask#txt#headcanons#spamton#THIS GOT LONG SORRY UTBUT THANK U FOR THE ASK AUGH
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I GIVE MORE NAGA LEO CONTENT--
Alright, so Leo is pretty clingy when cold right? Yeah that is tripled during his shedding cycles-
Turtles shed as is, but with snakes there is a period where they are blinded/semi-blind as the scales over their eyes shed off as well. So during this period you have this huge 300 pound naga clinging to you like a lifeline. There is not one moment of alone time, not even bathroom time (He waits outside, scratching at the door like a needy cat the whole time). He may also ask for help getting any stubborn parts off, like if the skin gets caught on a scale while he's trying to pull out of his old skin. In the end you are left with giant molds of skin that you don't know what to do with- it'll take at least two full sized trash bags to put it all in to discard. Leo is all happy in the end, proudly showing off his new shiny scales and tail to you.
As well as being part snake, this gives Leo the ability to unhinge his jaw- which if it freaks you out he definitely uses to mess with you. During meal times, even if he doesn't need to as he does actually have teeth more than his fangs, he will unhinge his jaw and make a show of eating the food whole just to watch you squirm. It interests him on how humans can be so squeamish to something so normal for him and his kind, and teases you about it.
This man loves to bask in the sun, and if you have any trees in your yard strong enough to support him he is quite content to spend warm summer days wrapped around the branches of a tree and watch you go about your day from afar. If you join him when he begs askes, he will make a makeshift hammock with his tail to slowly rock you while you both enjoy the summer warmth. He loves to see you so comfortable with him, it nearly makes him feel warm blooded for a moment.
Great at pest control! Whether it be rodents or people, you will never have to worry about anything undesirable infiltrating your shared space. Which Leo makes sure is always clean and looked after, when you aren't looking that is. Leo feels a little self conscious about cleaning/doing chores with you present, so he waits until you are out of the house to do them. When you return and see the house spotless and all dishes and clothes cleaned and put away, Leo will proudly take his credit. And his repayment in terms of affection and quality time.
My tablet has been wonky so I can't really make a digital thing with Leo as I did with Golem boi, but I did a sketch of how I picture him being- with a photo of the snake I think his tail would resemble be like
(I read the entire thing not long after you sent it before ignoring to post it for a couple days lmao)
Tw: brief mention dead animal- as in hunting
Anyway- YES.
Brainrot, brainrot, brainrot.
Something tells me if you ever leave for an errand or whatever during cold/cool weather he will freeze himself by risking himself to be out in the cold just so he can greet you- and begs for snuggles right after cuz he's cold.
He will def show off his hunts like Jiang Shi Donnie- and he will try to serve it to you bcs he's prideful and wants you to praise him like he's a very good provider when really he's giving you idk rat corpses. (let's say splinter doesn't exist for a moment-)
#blurbs#yandere rottmnt#yandere tmnt#rottmnt x reader#tmnt x reader#yandere#yandere x reader#rise of the tmnt#naga leo#leo x reader#rise leo
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I've been having many thoughts about missy and spy!master because of the panels Michelle and Sacha have been doing together so here's some of those for you hehe
As per Michelle and Sacha's opinions on their dynamic together, the sexual energy between the 2 would be off the fucking charts, perhaps even stronger than it was with simm and missy 😳
I just think missy would find dhawan more physically attractive than simm (No offense to John simm of course lol, all 3 of them are GORGEOUS)
Like despite dhawan being debatably more unhinged than simm, something about his overall look in most of his appearances just feels more neat and well groomed than simm
Like dhawans facial hair (excluding the Rasputin thing) was always very well groomed and cleanly trimmed. Meanwhile all of simms appearances always made his hair look at least a little disheveled, especially his goatee
Another thing I think missy would like is dhawans eyes. I'm not sure if the casting director had this in mind when they picked sacha but his eyes lend themselves so well to the masters cunning and manipulative abilities. His eyes are so big and expressive, he can manipulate them to look so soft and genuine and kind. Yet in the blink of an eye he can go from an angel you'd trust with your life to shedding his sheep's clothing to reveal a rabid wolf underneath
Him and missy are a perfect match in that regard since missy also has some stunning eyes herself.
Dhawans eyes are round and large with deep brown irises which lull you into a false sense of trust. Missy's eyes however hypnotize not with trustworthiness but with stunning beauty. They're polar opposites to Dhawan's eyes, being slim and almond shaped and a stark icy blue that snatches your attention and holds it in an iron grip. Her irises are so pale they almost blend into the whites of her eyes and in combination with her overall facial structure give her this ethereal, otherworldly feel. Like a mysterious spirit that claims to be an angel.
Speaking of facial structure, (I guess this is just gonna be a body worship post from me LMAO) dhawans face also lends itself well to his deceptively trustworthy appearance. His face shape is round and his cheeks are full making his face look softer and more approachable. In fact there are few sharp edges in any of his facial features to begin with. His nose is very round and his chin has basically no edges. His eyebrows are thick and dark with the edges of their shape blending into his skin, thus with no defined lines his eyebrows look softer.
Another thing I noticed about his facial hair, it's dark color and well defined edges actually create some symbolic imagry. Think about it, the fine contrast between his beard and the rest of his face almost looks like a mask. Just like how he was wearing the character of O like a mask! Idk I just thought that was a cool idea hehe
Missy's face completely opposes this. She's ALL sharp edges. Her eyebrows? Sharp as needles. Hell their angles form this angry V shape which of course makes her look inherently angry or hostile. Her nose? Straight and narrow. Her jaw? Things built like a fucking cleaver. And don't even get me started on her cheekbones, those things could slice through GRANITE. Even her fucking cupids bow is like 2 razor blades. Her skin (mainly her cheeks) is pulled tight to her skull which causes her to look as deadly as she is. Going back to her eyes, her irises look smaller than Sacha's, they could actually be physically smaller or it could be an optical illusion from how pale her eyes are. Either way her irises looking smaller gives her a wild look and draws far more attention to her pupils.
I could go on but I feel like I've obsessed over these people's faces enough lol
#doctor who#missy#gomez!master#dhawan master#gomez master#michelle gomez#sacha dhawan#dhawan!master#spy!master#spy master#i need a life
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The Tortured Poets Department Unhinged First Listen Review:
Fortnight-
NEEDS MORE POSTY, we love a “I wanna kill her”, this one MIGHT BE about Matty Healy lol “I touched you for only a fortnight”
The Tortured Poets Department-
“WHO USES TYPEWRITERS ANYWAY” YOU BITCH ITS YOU LOL, Charlie Puth name drop 🤨 oh god so many name drops, THIS BRIDGE, not the wedding ring…
My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys-
THERE WAS A LITANY OF REASONS WHY WE SHOULDVE PLAYED FOR KEEPS THIS TIME my jaw literally dropped the entire last verse
Down Bad-
“Everything comes up teenage petulance” this one is cringy but in a way I love, Taylor Is Very Much A Down Bad Girlie
So Long, London-
this song is tachycardic I PROMISE I MADE THIS JOKE BEFORE “STOPPED CPR”, two graves one gun I SWORE THAT YOU LOVED ME BUT WHERE WAS THE CLUES damn she’s really sad to lose London huh
But Daddy I Love Him-
this would have a cool music video “she’s was chaos he was revelry” this is if red and the 1975 had a child that’s the vibe
Fresh Out the Slammer-
Okay so this is the “I just realized how bad this relationship truly was and thank god I’m out of it”, okay the weird slow down stuff wasn’t my favorite thing
Florida!!!-
I’m cackling, THE FLORENCE VERSE IS SO GOOD I think that this is just a Florence and the machine song it sounds so like them
Guilty as Sin?-
Okay this is the first one I’ve been like “oooooo I really like this one” “what if I roll the stone away, they’re gonna crucify me anyway” DAMN some religious imagery will always get me right in the trauma
Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?-
This one has a lot of the brain scratching pauses “don’t you worry folks we took out all her teeth” oof this song is just really angry
I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)-
Cowboy Like Me but they don’t end up happy, okay “good boy” made me giggle so apparently in a 12 year old boy
loml-
PIANO! WANT IVE WANTED THE WHOLE TIME “still alive, killin time at the cemetery, never quite buried” I’m getting a gun and flying to London, I swear “TALKING RINGS AND TALKING CRADLES 🤨” JOE ALWYN FOUND DEAD IN A DITCH “THE LOSS OF MY LOVE” COUNT YOUR DAYS JOSEPH 💀, this should’ve been track 5
I Can Do It With A Broken Heart-
hello production that is giving Barbie movie/80s vibes, this is the first one I’m certain was written recently like it was definitely written on tour, the peppy “cause I’m miserable!” Hurt Me but also same
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived-
THE BREATH ahhhhh PIANO! “I don’t even want you back I just want to know if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal” okay back half of the album is eating, THE PICKUP, SPEAK NOW VIBES BUT MOM IS OLDER AND MADDER
The Alchemy-
ok ok ok “I circled you on a map I haven’t come around in so long but I’m coming back so strong” fucking meant,👌 touchdown mention lmao, okay this is SO ABOUT TRAVIS 🥹🥰
Clara Bow-
Best production on the album in the first 10 seconds, BEAUTY IS THE BEAST THAT ROSE, WAIT WHAT????? “You look like Taylor Swift” yeah queen because you are lol, It’s so people can make the audio of her singing all the album names lmao
First Overall Listen- 7/10
I was getting nervous in the front half but the back half more than made up for it
The vibe was just off at the start and honestly that’s probably a me thing and will get better with further listens
The lyrics were amazing as always
Production was okay, some of the songs were perfect and some had me going 🤨
Charlie Puth
Top 3 in no particular order (apparently I like songs that hurt me):
Guilty as Sin?
loml
The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
#the tortured poets department#ttpd#taylorswift#taylor swift#okay so like I kinda |didn’t like| it for the front half#and then Guilty as Sin?#and the album began eating
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for the asks: 🤍💌
i haven't had an anon in my inbox in a long time, so this feels momentous. thanks for the ask!
what's one fic of yours that you think people didn't "get"?
I can't think of a good example of this, except for Down for the Count - I mean, I don't think I got that fic either lmao. It's about card counting and casinos and poker and it's very insane - I've never written anything so out there before, although I'm tossing up something extremely rogue with @rmd-writes that may actually take the cake.
share something about an up and coming WIP that has you excited.
gonna stay on theme here and go for something about (Un)professional Services - which is the collab I've been working on for 4000 years (it keeps getting pushed to the side by ALTA which is extremely unfortunate because - unlike ALTA - it's a pleasure to write):
Full of undeserved confidence, Carlos reaches out and cups TK’s jaw in his hand. “Feel free to stop me,” he says, his voice slightly cracked and raspy.
“That is the last thing I’ll be doing,” TK replies, and it’s a little unclear who leans in exactly, but all of a sudden TK’s lips are pressed tentatively against his own, and Carlos is drowning in it until something from his subconscious hauls him back out of the depths of his desire.
“Wait,” he says quickly, pulling back. “The wine. Are you sure you’re okay to be kissing me when I’ve been drinking? Because I can brush my teeth if you—”
“Oh my god,” TK moans, a sound which appears to have a direct connection to Carlos’ dick. “Where did you come from? Seriously, did they make you in a lab? You’re perfect.”
“N– No,” Carlos stammers, unsure where TK is going with this. “I just want you to be comfortable.”
“Carlos,” TK says, grabbing the front of Carlos’ tie and twisting it around one hand, hauling him in so their lips are brushing together. “The wine thing is fine. What’s not fine is the fact that we’re no longer kissing.”
“Okay,” Carlos manages to say, before he loses himself in the hot press of TK’s mouth again.
The thing is, Carlos has always known that he’s a romantic. Ever since he left the purgatory that was high school his dreams have been a continual rotation of finding the love of his life; a chance meeting, learning the lines and curves of someone else's body, falling in love, romantic dates and shared dinners and making someone else laugh. Someone he can come home to and surprise with gifts and curl up with at night when it’s cold outside and the rain beats down on the windows of his shitty Brooklyn apartment.
What he didn’t expect was this. Someone who steals his breath and makes him feel unbalanced. Someone he met under circumstances that are so far from romantic. Someone with a terrifying mother and a kind of unhinged friend-turned-colleague. Someone who has two first names and smells like a lovely combination of citrus and apples and owns a pair of green eyes that Carlos could look at every day for the rest of his life and never tire of.
Someone who kisses him with purpose, whose hands feel electric on his skin. Someone who makes intoxicating little frustrated sounds and coaxes Carlos’ lips open with a gentle tongue and then proceeds to lick into his mouth and take Carlos’ sanity apart bit by bit. Someone who winds up hitched around Carlos’ leg and presses himself into Carlos’ hip and oh god—
TK is definitely hard in his pants and Carlos is not okay.
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why is body back called body back 👀
So I have this funny thing where I can’t really write something without a title (one of my favourite singers said this once years ago and I was like ??? couldn’t be me & now it’s me lol), so the minute I figured out I wanted to write BB, I headed to my book titles document. I literally just went through the list till I found one that vaguely worked with the themes LMAO and that was BB! I originally thought I’d come up with this title for a poem about me, but I realized that may have been the goal, but that actual title comes from a line in Seventh Virtue (in Reeve’s POV).
She’s not sure how the realization comes to him. If she’s that translucent now, unable to hold her own secrets like she’s unable to hold wine or her own body back.
This is from the penultimate chapter!
Anyway, how I view it in BB, it’s about how can Harrison, after this really destructive romance, find his body back. He doesn’t really feel alive in BB, & struggles to even connect to himself physically post-Lonan. BB is like an oath to himself & indicates a sense of vengefulness. I title dropped it in 24k Harrison with that idea in mind.
To see the BB drop we also need to see the “body gone” drop that prompts Harrison to even think about the phrase “body back.”
And where is [Jeremiah] now? In the artificial light, Harrison hunts for him too—but he’s not in the unhinging bathroom stalls, not in the teal grout, the running sinks, and maybe he never existed at all, missing like Jesus in the tomb—body gone, body gone, body gone.
The above line is inspired by a poem I wrote (WHICH funnily is about the weekend I started writing BB in my freezing apartment lmaooo) where I talked about the stolen body hypothesis (which is v interesting if you haven’t looked into it). I recycled that here because Jesus is such a huge part of Harrison’s psychology in BB. While googling bits of his burial, etc, I came across this line from Wikipedia:
“Although Jesus' body had been laid out in the tomb after crucifixion and death, the tomb is found to be empty, the body gone…”
That phrase “body gone” was like YES PERFECT—I hadn’t thought about title dropping BB until that point but “body gone” and “body back” seemed like a match made in heaven. This idea of “body gone” repeats for a second time and which leads us to the BB drop:
He approaches the mirror, jolts at the way he touches himself—more carefully than he’s ever been touched before. Who are you? he wants to say. He’d like to leave this place now, the club, Las Vegas, the earth. He’d like to buy himself a pet tarantula, run off a cliffside, eat a tub of ice cream with his bare hands. Why did he come here again? His mind is so quiet. This could be peace. But who is he? In Jeremiah’s bathroom he knew, but now there’s this stranger ahead of him, the person who must be him—someone’s chandelier earring grazing his jaw, the cowboy hat lopsided, mascara running down his cheeks even though he hasn’t cried. Where did you go? he mouths, but he knows. He’s disappeared also like Jesus in the tomb, his limbs vanishing one by one, his skin melting off his hands—body gone, body gone, body gone. He grabs his cheeks, panicked because he’s on fire, gold tossed into the crucible. He’s going to burn to ash. He’s going to need a burial soon. His face has been stolen, his breastbone and knuckles too. A month ago, someone spat him into a basket like his body was ripe for the offertory—body gone, body gone, body gone.
“Back,” Harrison says, nose grazing the spattered mirror. His chest swells, and maybe he is burning, and maybe he’s right here, hidden somewhere in the pinprick of his reflection. “Back,” he repeats. He isn’t thoughtful. He isn’t profound. Maybe that’s fine. He squeezes his tear-duct, sticks out his tongue. He’ll die eventually, let his body disappear, but not right now. “Body back, body back, body back.”
Basically, Harrison hates the idea of “body gone” because he KNOWS his body is “gone” too, disappeared in an interaction with the alleged divine (Lonan lol). He’s looking at himself for the FINAL time in 24kH (and remember, he does this A LOT in this chapter, so this is just an even bigger moment for him), and he doesn’t see someone he knows. He’s seeing a really hollow stranger & he asks himself “where did you go?” but knows already—his body is gone, part of it left with Lonan.
And he REALLY doesn’t like that. Hence, then muttering “body back, body back, body back” because he’s like “NO, my body is not gone, it is BACK, I am getting it back—it’s MINE now.”
Tooootally making a podcast episode on this lol tysm!
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rating the fanbases in nijisanji en that im in 🤠🤘
also im not hating on yall im just talking about…… some colorful things about the fan communities im in
aight for one, kyomies. = FUCKING -18/10
im scared of like some of yall. like ongod 😭 either chill or so fucking down bad WW like oh god i watched the confessions stream YOU GUYS. ARE SCARY. PLEASE. I CANT TELL YOU HOW MANY TIMES MY JAW DROPPED WATCHING THAT STREAM. also we needa stop bullying kyo for being the shortest male in nijisanji en lmao hes coping already 💀AHEM… TO ANY OF YALL WHO GENUINELY LIKE ASTERS FEET CAM STREAM… DNI (jkjk but like keep a respectable distance from me pls 🧍✋ yall scare me enough)
kindreds!! = 5/10
yall horny as fuck. all i gotta say. we all know the gwak gwak incident, lets leave it pls. also yall are nice, everyone in chat is pretty nice, yk you get a parasocial chatter every once and a while but oh well wwww 💀💀 ehmmm theyre like the first niji en fanbase ive been in, i have a friend irl whos a kindred, theyre nice yk did not prepare me for the shitshow the online kindreds are
villions = 8/10
i know, we are all probably down bad for ber whenever he speaks korean, BUT CAN YOU BLAME US?? i wanna bet ver is half of his fanbases’ reason to learn korean (can vouch because i started to relearn kr bc of him 😭👌) ALSO HES SUCH A CINNAMON ROLL I JUST WANNA SQUISH HIM!! villions in general, yall r nice, like all i gotta say LOL
sicklings = 4/10
basically kindreds but like twice as horny and mentally ill 💀like goddamn yall listen to his yandere asmrs and go ‘he can fix me’?? is that like a thing in this fanbase? 😭 how mentally ill yall had to be to fall for a therapist [bullying myself rn] like holy shit also that one overlay incident 🫣 lets not talk about it but like anyways yall are ok, its a debatable topic also just wanted to say hex looks like the type of person to have a rice purity score of 53 idk
FaMillie = 10/10
OK SO IM BIASED BC IM ALSO A FILIPINO AND YK SWAGPINOS UNITE BUT YOU GUYS ARE FUNNY I CANT LIE, YOU HAVE GENUINELY MADE ME CACKLE SOMETIMES especially the hugot lines stream, my mom fucking got mad at me for laughing so much some of yall are unhinged like stop bullying millie LOL ik its for shits and giggles but damn, yall are being mean sometimes 😭
Quilldren = 6/10
personally, i havent been in the fanbase too much but most of you guys are chill so neutral score. havent seen too much stir from ike's fans so thats nice, good to know theres one fan base that isnt overtly chaotic [from what ive seen 👀]
scythekicks = 8/10
girl is this fanbase dead or am i just not active on twitter? probably the latter LMAO but like i barely see any doppio fans in the wild like where are yall come out come out you may be outta scythe but you aint outta my mind WWWW we all love doppio in the scythekick household, that man gets so entertained so easily
uhhhh shit ok pls dont cancel me WWWWW IM NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE I PROMISE THIS IS ALL FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES im in these fan bases too IM BASICALLY FUCKING MYSELF OVER
also posts are gonna be slow as fuuuck cuz schools starting and yknow we gotta COME IN DO YOU READ ME?-
im just kidding guys dont hate me for this WWW its for giggles so dont take it to heart
i think i did this wrong in so many ways but oh well LMAOO
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atlas bestie i’m so genuinely terrified for my show after seeing last nights setlist… XO?!? GET BUSY LIVING?!?!?! SPIDEY?!?!?! every time we think they can’t get more unhinged they Do!! i’m the best kind of scared for my show bc it’s soonish and i feel like they’re abt to snipe me lmaooo 😅 between whatever tf pete was doing during get busy living and the whole spidey thing and xo with like… no warning. this is so much. like wtf else could they possibly do and why are they the scariest lil guys ever and how are we meant to survive this??
also not to get emotional but that speech before spidey made me kinda tear up! like this band genuinely wasn’t supposed to make it this far and they Did and patrick overcame so much self doubt and just 😭😭😭 he’s playing songs he wrote for a spiderman cartoon at a SOLD OUT SHOW at madison square garden with his best friends!! never thought i’d be crying over spidey but that happened lol… sorry for the rambling but the patrick emotion is so strong rn, everything he said abt impostor syndrome was super fuckin validating and just. how do they do that? how does fob always do that?? i’m gonna be an emotional wreck at my show and the 8 ball is Not gonna help lmao
(alsooooo this is hella late but AHHH CONGRATS ON GETTING ALLIE!!! <3 u won SO hard fr fr!!!!! genuine question, how did u not like… collapse when that started? like anything from soul punk is insane but especially that song?? holy shit 😭)
- 🧋 anon
GODDD BFF I KNOW RIGHT??? the madison square garden setlist was sooooo crazy and tbh last nights was too like.... i swear each show theyre just getting more insane somehow i am SO scared in the best way too for my next show and u are in my thoughts for yours 😭 like every time i think there isnt more they could do, they find something so like. truly we're in for it for these last 9 shows!!!! we are not surviving!!!!!
also YEAHH WAUGH that speech made me soooo emotional too do Not be sorry for the rambling bc literally the fact this band was supposed to just be a fun little side project and is now This big, to where patrick can play his scoring "day job" songs to sold out audiences of thousands for Fun because he Wants to for his passion project is just. so much??? seeing him, like, overcoming imposter syndrome in real time??? it is so so sweet and inspiring literally how do fob always manage to be sooooo healing and beautiful and inspirational i can't handle it!!! manifesting thee most insane emotional 8 ball for you tbh fkjsnfds
alsooo AUGHHH THANK U i still cant believe i got allie live like. tbh idk how i didnt collapse either i think i was just in such shock it was happening 😭 i remember turning to my mom and sister w my jaw fucking dropped repeating "THIS IS SOUL PUNK??!!??!" over and over... he was so insane for that
#okay also tho u mentioning ur show makes me need to know what ur ideal 8 ball would be so i can actually manifest it for u...#asks#🧋 anon
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Book Review: The Orpheus Process by Daniel H. Gower
I don't even know where to start. This book melted my brain.
There are only two reactions to The Orpheus Process that I can think of: slack-jawed awe at how mind-breakingly bonkers it is, or uncontrollable laughter. (I mean, there's also abject disgust and book-hurling, but if you do that, you don't know how to have fun. A demented kind of fun, but still.) This book is… so much. I kind of lovehate it.
Daniel H. Gower's debut novel (!) is the tale of Orville Leonard Helmond, a middle-aged scientist with three kids and a loving wife, who nonetheless doesn't abstain from ogling his lab assistant's curves and telling his teenage daughter that his first wife left him because he cheated on her. Helmond's life's work is the study of bringing dead animals, like rats and monkeys, back to life, in a quest to figure out a way to beat death. Of course, when his younger daughter is killed in a mesmerizingly tasteless mass shooting, what else can he do but stick her in a tank of reanimation fluid and let that radiation rip? Cue mayhem when Eunice, obviously, comes back in a way that makes the ending of Pet Sematary look sedate.
I know it might seem like I'm overstating it, but there's truly no end to how ridiculous The Orpheus Process is. The prose is utterly tin-eared, hosing down the reader with leaden wit and pretentious mythological and literary references (Helmond's lab animals all have names like Osiris, Lazarus or Valdemar, and his assistant Sharon calls him Dr. Frankenstein at one point) in between head-scratcher word choices like "glared at him pleadingly". Or just straight up black metal lyrics like "Lazarus floated in his posthumous placenta, like a homunculus in a crucible". Also, Gower has a fantastic sense for writing characters talk in a way no one has ever talked, talks or will talk… and the gore and body horror are so exaggerated that it just kept cracking me up. I've barely scratched the surface of the tacky insanity that is the plot, too: Helmond's early nightmare of a tidal wave of blood filled with thousands of tiny skeletons feels subtle and restrained compared to what comes after. I Mcfreakin' lost it at the undead monkey with the huge boner, and that was somehow very far from the worst mental image this thing gave me. (Content warnings for EVERYTHING.) I swear, it's like reading the Necronomicon.
Did I have a good time with The Orpheus Process? Kind of! It's not often that I find such a unique flavor of horror literature, for better or for worse (very much for worse): for all the epic crimes against good taste this book committed, it did so with energy and conviction, with a few glimpses of genuine horror and even emotion between all the unhinged over-the-top lunacy. (It really says something that the surprisingly good and poignant last chapter just made me mad at how out of place it was after the crazy charnel carnival that were the other 400 pages. Lol. Lmao, even.) I don't respect it at all for what it was trying to do, but I can at least appreciate the novelty; all my giggling, grimacing and facepalming gave my face a hell of a workout while reading this thing. Undead monkey boners were not on my 2023 holiday reading bingo, but… here we are, I guess. Merry Christmas.
StoryGraph rating: 2.5
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basically in my xxxholic splatoon au doumeki watanuki and himawari are idols but they’re also owarai/standup comedy themed kinda like how shiv from deep cut has rakugo theming.
himawari is the leader that’s a bit more of a singer and gets center privileges
whenever theres a splatfest watanuki unhinges his jaw in an attempt to maul doumeki like a dog and decides he’s the worlds worst person for not sharing his opinion on random topics (he dgaf about himas differing opinions and actually really praises them then gets caught out cause clearly he doesn’t agree with her its literally his job)
yuuko is a greedy koi fish themed ceo (and their idol manager) who replaces mr grizz as the salmon run main pop girl and has forced watanuki to be her latest recruit and put his ass on the line to get salmonid eggs but at one point after a particularly rough shift yuuko rewards him with a cute eel sidekick that can transform into a mega sized eel a la little buddy (mugetsu) to protect him
they have kind of a mix of traditional kimono and western clown themed outfits
watanuki has to rehearse extra hard for splatfest performances so he doesn’t embarrass the audience, but somehow the group have fairly equal individual popularity
watanuki has confusing and kinda enigmatic octoling related baggage and doumeki is winning the octoling idgaf war and comes from a lineage of special octolings w ancient stringer wielder lineage
hima actually has a golden salmonid pet that watanuki brought back from one of his shifts by accident and woke up to find hatched (tanpopo)
their idol group is called fishtsuzen and every single broadcast is at lunchtime so they can use it as an excuse to laze around while eating bento like high schoolers
i cant tell if I wanna do this yet but i wanna do smth cool w himas not a curse curse status like maybe she’s afflicted by fuzzy ooze and has fuzzy hair and everyone thinks it’s just kind of an aesthetic thing
doumeki still has the extra eyeliner octoling thing because its fun
their secret mission is to investigate unexplained paranormal occurrences in defunct octo territory
the mokonas take the place of the judds as the last two test rabbits on earth
yuuko has a personal investment in researching ‘the wishes of mankind’ that she’s allegedly trying to research using her power and influence
watanuki wishes he was just running the food stall but his hands are full with being a caterer for his friends LMAO
im still struggling to think of something kohane could do im not gonna lie but i feel like there’s potential
marumoro are in charge of gachapons in the lobby and yuuco respectively and are undergoing customer service training to come off as ‘less spooky’
considering having yuuko actually be a reincarnated human/yuukos soul way past human extinction which is why she’s being kinda shady and knows some shit totally separate from sea creature society
yuuco is laid out like the shop so when salmon runners go for job interviews they walk in assuming it will be a laid back swanky career choice. then they come head to head with a steel eel and minimum wage
doumeki has been asked to model for like ten different brands but he usually drags tanuki and or hima to come with because it is boring otherwise. this has basically made any prospective doumeki schedule a package deal because he is easily bored and easily entertained and ironically actually benefitted all of them in their collective rise to fame
himawari has a special interest in the darker side of stuff like the fall of humanity and the nuclear fallout partly cause she's just a bright girl into dark things and partly because shes kinda projecting
haruka turns up in watanukis dreams still but instead of a hot octoling gilf sometimes he shows up as crispy little guy with beady eyes like captain cuttlefish and it scares the shit out of him
noone knows what yuuko is actually smoking like is it crushed up salmon vape is it the blended ink of her enemies who knows!!
watanuki makes special splatfest themed snacks which are passed onto different shops to mass produce as gentei sweets but doumeki refuses to eat anything but the OGs (a classic) he once turned down a CM cause he was presented with snacks from the store and lost interest and dipped
group unofficially formed as the weird kids at high school, was put through the wringer as paranormal investigators and the whole idol activities came later (himas idea yuuko immediately sniped them)
yep that's right their Thing is splat idols is part time paranormal investigators ....the story mode would eat
yuuko has a mysterious storehouse of human artifacts and seems to be the only one that knows their original usage , usually she sells stuff she doesn't need and it gets snapped up by weapon development researchers and scrapper types, she has a long list of IOUs from various people and hands in many pots
watanuki gets agitated when he misses a spot in turf war and sometimes feels the need to clean up other teammates ink until it is tidy this is his fatal flaw sometimes he doesnt even just do this for turf war and its like rainmaker or something
he needs doumeki to not constantly die (in splatoon this time) bcs that fucker has a mean aim
doumeki watanuki dating scandal is attempted by a squid tabloid but it doesn't work cause everyone assumed they were already dating this entire time, this sends watanuki into a spiral because apparently they weren't actually dating yet but that issue is swiftly rectified 🫶
tanuki has a rly strong reaction to fuzzy ooze (uh oh) but doumeki can still counter it bcs of his lineage we love consistency
they have a big circus tent performance during splatfests and you get to go in the big tent to see them sing/banter/eat food/mess around as a treat
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