got nostalgic for my first ever warriors oc... this little girlboss got promoted to a full medic after only three moons training, had an affair with the leader’s son/deputy-to-be that resulted in 6 kits, got taken by twolegs and lived as a kittypet for a while, then when she got home she was killed by a snakebite while collecting herbs. tigerleaf you will always be famous

Lmao thanks for reminding me asks were turned off.

Someone the fandom consistently sleeps on is Estonia, and especially his interactions with Russia and the Nordics. One of my favorite rarepairs is Estonia joining the Finland/Sweden polycule lol. I find it so interesting how he typically acts around Russia, from nonchalant to relaxed even. It really contrasts how Lithuania and Latvia act around him, and I think that deserves to be explored more.

(I'm away from my computer so I don't have access to my stash of Russia and Estonia interaction screenshots, but trust me. There are a lot.)

I was particularly fascinated by the World Stars episode where Russia was accused of cyberstalking/hacking Estonia's blog. It was one of the only times he's shown being afraid of Russia, and after it's proven that he's not behind the crime, Estonia goes right back to being friendly, even so much as smiling when Russia jokingly chases him with the infamous pipe! (Why did they do this. I want to tear the scene apart with my teeth. What does it mean) I wish my inner RusEst shipper had had this when I was 14, lol.

I really wish people would discuss it more but AmeRus dominates all Russia discussions. :(

Reading back through the livejournal archives, I was really surprised at the lack of Estonia. I know he's not one of the main characters but still!

Another odd thing about him, is his connection to alternate universes. Why is Estonia the one who has the mochitalia? Why was he the one chosen to see the Nyotalia? I'm obsessed. I heard a rumor somewhere that he was Hima's self-insert of sorts (or the character he related to the most?) but I don't remember if that's true or not.

I'm about to go to sleep and it's a little disjointed, but god, I love Eduard. He's such a weird little guy. Autism energy.

(I almost didn't bring up RusEst because I've found modern fans are a little weird about it. We're choosing violence tonight tho, so I left it in.)

WRITER ASKS!

1 & 2

7 & 8

16 & 17

18 & 20

23 & 24

26 & 27

29

Please and Thanks

This uh. Sorta got away from me so here we go:

1. When did you start writing? How?

I’ve always been a writer? I know that sounds strange but ever since I was like. A little kid. I would love filling my notebooks and journals with my writing. In kindergarten I even made the notability wall. A hallway that connected the main part of the school to the classrooms. It was filled with stellar works of creative assignments. The older grades were usually more prominently shown. I had wrote a story (like. 4 pages long) about a leprechaun for St. Patrick’s day (I’m sure my mom might still have it stashed somewhere) that cursed someone and they had to go across the country from California to Maine. I don’t remember much of it but I remember that. “Maine! But we’re in California!” And the leprechaun laughed. “Tough luck, better get walking.” And that was like? The last part of the story that had my poor teacher roaring with laughter that she had to actually walk out of the room for a moment. Mrs M (who also taught my dad and retired next year after realizing she had now taught two generations and was like “I’m too old for this”) had taken it the principal who had put it in on the wall. It had won like, favorite story of the month or something. All the kids had stopped to read it, flipping through the stapled pages that were on the wall. It was really, a very pivotal point in my life that solidified the fact that I wanted to be a writer. It’s been 20 years now and I wish I could thank Mrs M for being my first fan.

2. Has your writing changed over time?

Oh most definitely! When I first started really writing fanfiction in my FF.net days I was okay. People still loved my stories and I slowly, I changed my writing style and it grew and flourished. When I first start a fandom the fics will of course be choppy. It’s why I usually spend time writing more “meta” style fics before moving to more dialogue heavy and then towards action and scenery changes. I like to slowly explore things. I’m proud of where my writing stands today.

7. How would you describe your writing style?

Is chaotic a choice? Lol. But really? I don’t quite know where to begin. It’s messy and raw thoughts thrown into computer binary that somehow swirls and forms into the story that you read. I’m not sure what happens In between, maybe it’s witch craft, but isn’t it beautiful? Sometimes I go back and I realize a paragraph has potential to be fleshed out. Next thing I know the story is 10 paragraphs longer and I forgot where I was going with the original thought. Sometimes I’m able to bridge them back together. Sometimes I’m not successful. See if you can spot them next time you read a fic. (There’s a lot in A Love You Hate)

8. Have any comments/tags/responses on a fic of yours ever made you laugh, cry or both?

Honestly 95% of the comments I get make me so happy. But there are some that make me laugh and cry. I keep a folder of screenshots to look at when I get into a funk with my writing; if it’s just old fashioned writers block or not feeling like I’m worthy of the words (or vice versa, not feeling that my words are worthy of the story I’m trying to write) I find looking back at them helps me and gives me confidence to write more.

16. What is your favorite character (or characters) to write for?

Ohhhh that’s hard. I love writing for Spock. Always. I guess tho? Each fandom has a certain character I can relate to most which makes it easier for me? I guess? Lol.

17. What piece of writing are you most proud of?

Ohhhh. That’s a tough one hmmm. I’m really proud of From Eden, Help Me Not To Be, Okay, and Misery Business.

18. Which is more difficult, the title or the summary?

The summary totally. When in doubt with a title I usually go for song lyrics (if the fic wasn’t inspired by a song in the first place) or a line from the fic itself. Summaries are just. They’re easier if it’s a longer fic; where you can just copy and paste a paragraph and call it Gucci. But if it’s a shorter one you have to find just the right thing ton say.

20. Do you prefer to edit as you go, or once the piece is finished?

It’s funny cuz I do both! To expand on #7, if I edit once the piece is finished I tend to accidentally add another 500+ words to the story. But sometimes I edit as I write which, as I’ve learned in my writing classes, is actually a bad writing habit as it can distract your thought process from the task at hand which can actually lead to writers block. Did I try to do as my professor said and avoid editing as I wrote? Yes, and I wrote a lot of fics that way? Did I feel like I was less proud of the work I did? Yes. Because the draft/rough copy I had composed was nothing of what I wanted it to be. Mixed results on that one, some were posted; some are lost in my google drive folder.

23. Have you ever stopped yourself from writing something? Why?

Yes. Shame. Shame that I would be judged and criticized harshly for something that I had brought forth into creation’s spotlight. Feelings of dread and inadequacy also play a key role, one that I wish I could recast into joy and appreciation for what I’ve created. But sometimes, cringe culture still reaches deep inside of my brain and sometimes makes me reevaluate my whole reason for writing something in the first place. I’ve learned to step past it, labeling things as “crack” or “crack taken seriously.” And it gives me a chance. It gives me a chance to breathe.

24. Would you ever collaborate with another writer for a story?

OF FUCKING COURSE!!!!! I love collaborating with other authors!!!! Or even with artists!!!!! Literally whenever!!! Hit me up please I beg you. (Also uh. Pro tip. If I like a post; be it art or a head canon chances are I’m writing it and will be sheepishly sending you a message if I could write it. Or if we’re friends/mutuals/you’ve interacted with me while I hid in your closet admiring your wares from afar, I will literally just inbox you a link to my google folder and be like “I, Sir James, have presented an offering for their majesty! May it bring honor to your house.” There is no in between. And if we’re super duper friends and Mutuals across 5 different social media platforms (and may or may not know my dead name) I will just straight up type it all into your inbox after a solitary conversation like the greedy keyboard slut I am all while screaming as I type as you look horrified at your screen as it continues to say “Jim is typing” for twenty minutes and you are not sure which emotion you should be feeling in that span of forever.

26. Is there a specific scene or scenario you’re looking forward to most? (No, you don’t have to give away spoilers!)

Hmmmmmm. Yes. I may be working on a string of projects which is just “Normal Title of the fic that is already posted” (Jim’s Version) which is literally the unedited, full throttle angst/fluff/smut fest that the gods intended for but I was too much of a coward to go through with it.

27. Are there certain types of writing you won’t do? (style, pov, genre, tropes, etc)

(Insert Aslan Gif here of “do not cite the old magic to me witch; I was there when it was written”) I’ve been writing fanfiction for a decade. What haven’t I written? Lmao. But really??? I’m not sure if anything is not on or off the table? Merely hanging in a state of unknown levitation, leaving someone asking if it’s even there at all.

29. Best writing advice for other writers?

Just like any skill, writing takes time. You’re knot naturaly going to be good at something the first time u put you’re words into tangible form. You’re going to make missteaks, your going to misspell simple words, use the wrong form of the word. Your going to look at it and think to yourself ‘is that even makes sense?” And the answer will be know. Know that it won’t make sense, know that it’s going to look bad. You’re still learning and that’s okay. And as you learn and grow, you’ll see that things are looking better. The sentences flow better. You learn new little tips and tricks to make simple sentence structures feel like an ice pick through the heart. You’ll get there. Just know that your writing will suck. And embrace it. It’s okay to be bad. It’s okay to be awful. What isn’t okay is not have tried at all.

Starker High School AU, Pt. 2 (Pt. 1, Pt. 3, Pt. 4, Pt. 5)

-----

Peter will admit that during he took an extended moment during his journey home to grieve the loss of his free afternoon, and indeed the impending headaches.

And the rest of his future, if he was honest.

Not that Peter was prone to melancholy by any means, but with this assignment his fate was officially sealed, there was no misunderstanding. He was going to fail this assignment. He was going to, for the first time in his academic career, be forced to submit garbage of a caliber worthy of Tony Stark. It will forever be a black mark on his academic record.

No respectable college is going to accept him after this. In fact, he might as well drop out of school now and hit up Mr Delmar for a job. All of his prep for his MIT application is as good as useless after this. Extracurriculars? Goodbye.

Because it’s confirmed.

He’s doomed.

Swaying with the motions of the train, Peter types a text to Ned, the only person who might provide him with some much needed sympathy.

>  I’m doomed >  paired w/stark for an assignment lollllllllll.  >  help

Maybe Peter could trade with Ned. Maybe he could plead with their teacher, for honest fear of his life and scholastic integrity. He wasn’t even exaggerating. In no known iteration of this universe could Peter amicably work with Tony Stark. It would be like Harry Potter sitting down for tea with Voldemort, or Frodo and Sauron chilling with a pint and a pipe in Bag End. 

It was unthinkable. Implausible. Laughable.

And Peter would laugh, were it anyone but him in this situation.

The feeling is unusual. Never had he found reason in his life to truly dislike anybody before, everyone could be redeemed or given the opportunity for penance. Natasha has said more than once that Peter would offer the devil himself a sandwich if he appeared. 

Tony Stark on the other hand? No sandwich for him.

Well, maybe a slice of bread. A stale one.

While he waits for Ned to responds he catches sight of his injured reflection in the train window, which is admittedly pretty gnarly. Even with his hood drawn up, there was a noticeable berth allocated to him in the busy carriage between himself and the other passengers.

< sux. can I have ur lego hogwarts if u die?

> dude :( pity me.

< lol. so, can i?

Peter sighs.

> sure. Look after May for me, bro. delete my internet history.

< deal. godspeed

Pocketing his phone, Peter wonders if it’s too late to take up praying.

---

By the time he’s back in his apartment his mood has managed to swing back up.

Tony Stark is not going to be the arbiter of Peter’s fate. Hell no. He’s smart, he’s creative and hardworking - it isn’t up to anybody but Peter to determine his outcomes. If he has to do the assignment with Stark then he will. And he will work his hardest. 

If he has to do it sharing the credit with Stark, well, Peter knows a concession when he sees one.

No matter how reluctant he is.

But he powers through it, like ripping off a bandaid. It’s fine! He’s a Parker and he’s come this far in life already against ill, Parker-like odds. What was being paired for one assignment with someone who escaped the nearest hellmouth? 

It’ll be fine. 

Probably.

Not letting himself linger on his fears, Peter clears out his previous plans of going on a YouTube spiral and eating sour gummies until his teeth stick, instead utilising the time to get his foot in and and begins prepping for the assignment. Cursory, preliminary research at first, before the inevitable deep dive begins.

Neanderthal, Peter scoffs, mad all over again. Who is Stark to call Peter a neanderthal? He’s second in his class. He’s a straight A student. He likes school.

And as much as he is moderately skilled in, and enjoys JV, it’s not like he received his scholarship to study at Midtown based on his physical prowess.

The graze on his cheek that stings every time he yawns is proof of that.

Stark can eat his entire ass and choke on it, he thinks darkly, as he continues his research. He doesn’t know the first thing about Peter.

The data is sobering as he delves into job listings and statistics of his projected salary in a three year margin. This is really what his teachers earn? Wow. Depressing.

The contrast of expected salary versus the forecast of steep student loans is disheartening further still.

Teaching quietly slips from second to third on his list of ideal occupations.

Turning on a playlist on his phone, Peter continues to compile notes, amassing a truly gargantuan amount of tabs on his browser. His computer, old enough to be on its’ last teeth, whirrs loudly in protest.

It’s not until his room goes dark that he thinks to check the time.

Ah, shit. It’s nearly six.

Peter pauses. Should he tidy up the apartment?

...Nah, no point in breaking a sweat for Stark.

He continues typing. Then he hesitates, fingers suspended in mid-air. 

But what if Stark sees his unfolded laundry out on the dining table and publicly shames him for his old-but-comfortable Bulbasaur themed boxer shorts?

Goddamnit.

---

A quick, cursory clean ensues and leaves a relatively orderly Parker apartment. No freshly laundered underwear is in sight.

Peter wraps up just a few minutes before six. Right on time.

Taking a seat at the now clear dining table Peter drums his fingers on the surface and waits.

And waits.

And waits.

---

He knows when Tony finally arrives when he hears the sound of a car pulling up outside his apartment block. The riffs of a Roxette remix can be heard playing loudly  from the ground to the seventh floor of his apartment, the bass so thunderous it reverberates the windows all the way up to his floor.

Drumming his fingers on the kitchen table, Peter checks the wall clock again. It’s nearly seven.

Tony’s late.

Not that Peter is particularly affected with surprise that Tony is incapable of following basic instructions, but still. Really? Really?

By the time there is a knock on his door, Peter is already before it, his arms crossed over his chest and a scowl on his face. Every second between Tony pulling up and his ascent to Peter’s floor has him positively fuming. He can’t believe how this day played out. It started with such promise. He had such innocuous, but high hopes.

Clearly, he miscalculated.

Feeling a touch petty, he waits to answer, listening to Stark knock a second and then a third, more insistent time before he rouses enough calm to open the door.

He instantly regrets it when he does. 

Tony’s expression is curious one as he breezes right passed Peter without waiting for further invitation. There’s a smudge of something dark on his brow, his otherwise white undershirt smeared in dark stains.

Peter watches incredulously as the other boy drops his backpack by the door with a thump.

“You’re late.”

He closes the door behind Tony and scowls at the other boys easy posture, hands shoved into his pockets, eyes taking in the apartment.

“I didn’t realise you lived all the way out in fucking Queens. Do you have any idea how bad traffic is at this time of day? Also, your elevator doesn’t work. I just climbed seven flights of stairs, where’s the hospitality?”

“Try earning it.”

The other boy rolls his eyes. “Like it’s worth my time.” He breezes past Peter and slides his leather jacket off his arms, tossing it atop of his backpack in the corner. “Look, I’m here now. Okay? You can unclench now. So, do I get a tour or what?”

“Or what. This wouldn’t have been an issue if we had just started straight after class like I said.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” Tony clutches his hands to his heart before gesturing to the room. “I didn’t realise I was interrupting your busy Friday night, Parker. You got a keg and the rest of the meatheads stashed away somewhere?”

Without waiting for a response, Tony wanders around the living room like a curious child in a new play room. His gaze inspects everything all at once, from peering at up close at the wall mounted photos and hovering his grubby hands over the oddments and knick-knacks speckled throughout the space.

Apprehensive, Peter can’t help but shadow him, afraid he just let loose a hurricane in a china shop.

Without asking, Tony picks up May’s old Magic 8-Ball and gives it a good shake. Peter’s fingers itch to reach over and stop him, but stops himself because then that would require actually making direct skin contact the other boy.

Not worth it.

“Cannot predict now. Huh,” Tony says to himself before placing the ball back in the wrong spot. 

They both watch silently as it rolls precariously close to the edge. 

“Anyways,” Tony helps himself to an armchair, lounging back and spreading his legs wide. “I know your long-term memory is probably as defective as the rest of you, so don’t strain yourself recalling that I had other priorities.”

“Like what?”

“Like literally anything that isn’t being around you,” the other boy grins. “Now, are we doing this thing, or did you invite me over so you could bitch at me?”

“I didn’t invite you,” Peter grumbles, swiping his notebook from the dining table before sitting on the sofa, as far away from Stark as possible. Shifting, he takes his phone from his pocket and opens the notes he’d taken earlier.

“So, I cross referenced some websites and current job listings,” Peter scrolls through his research, adjusting his glasses as they slip down his nose. “Assuming you have no savings, we’re looking at an average of sixty-thousand per annum based on my salary alone. The average rent in --”

“-- Uh, why are we assuming I have no savings?”

"Because... we’re being realistic?”

Tony springs to his feet and paces across the living room.

“Well,” he says, gesturing to Peter, “if we’re being realistic, does having no savings also that mean I have no debt -- or are you paying off two student loans on your salary?”

“I don’t --”

“Do we have car loans? Health insurance?”

“Wait, slow your roll, Stark. I haven’t yet --”

“-- Of course you haven’t. I mean really, Parker, do you ever think ahead? You should try it, we do have a baby on the way, you know.” Tony clicks his fingers and points at Peter. “Oh, names! I want to call it Molly.”

“As in the drug?” 

“No, as in Ringwald. Anyhoo, seeing as only one of us has the intellectual capacity to construct a budget,” Tony gestures to himself, “that would be me, consider maybe that I spent my savings paying off my student loans and bought a car for me and Miss Molly, leaving you with just your own stagnant debt. Happy?”

“Thrilled,” he says through clenched teeth, feeling utterly steamrolled. “But we’re not calling the baby Molly.”

“Yes, we are. Think of all the great nicknames. Hey wait,” Tony pauses in his pacing, “are your parents going to be home soon?”

It was in that moment Peters world narrows down to one, botched cosmic joke.

Turning his gaze heavenwards, Peter prays silently for mercy. What did he do to deserve this. This is all his bad karma come at once. This is the bad place.

“Ah, no,” he replies, eyes widening. “No, my parents are not going to be home soon.”

“Cool. Lucky you.”

Oblivious to Peter’s existential turmoil, Tony resumes his patrol through the living room, picking up a frame on the mantle. It houses an old photo of Ben, May and a young, bespectacled Peter. 

It is one of the more embarrassing immortalisations of his younger self, eleven-years old and grinning widely, bearing his silver braces to the camera as he holds up a science fair trophy, curls wild and untamed.

Oh god. That was exactly what Peter needed on this unholy day - Tony Stark in his living room, witnessing Peter in his prepubescent glory. 

Quick, create a diversion.

“So, as I was saying,” he says loudly, “rent is reasonably affordable with a sixty-thousand budget in --”

“Who’s the babe?” Tony points to a younger Aunt May in the photo.

Peter gets to his feet and removes the frame from Tony’s grasp. He glowers as he places it back on the mantle. 

“No one you would have a chance with. Can you stay focused? Like, are you physically capable of it?”

“Okay, calm down,” Tony holds his hands up in surrender. “You’ve got a lot of anger for someone so vertically challenged, you know that, shortstack?” 

“Focus, dumbass.”

“I’m focused! Let’s see, we’ve established that I am excellent at managing my money. You have a shitty job and a shitty salary, and apparently my imaginary future self has terrible taste in men. So. Have I got that right? Where are we living?”

“Queens. LIC has some one bed, one baths that could be affordable.”

“Uh, rewind. Going to have to eighty-six that - I am not living in Queens.”

Peter stares at him.

Tony rubs his hands over his face and sighs. “Fine, whatever. But I want a Pontiac Firebird in this imaginary life if I have to deal with you.”

“For someone so keen on getting away you’re doing your best to prolong this experience. It’s literally painful.”

“Well, I just like to see you get all riled up, Princess,” Tony grins, leaning back against the mantle and folding his arms over his chest. “You have this vein that bulges on your forehead when you’re mad. Makes you look like a pitbull.”

Peter swallows the particularly acidic retort sitting on his tongue and tries not to let Tony’s words sting. Be the bigger man, Ben used to say. As difficult as it is to channel even a modicum of the mans’ eternal patience, Peter takes a deep breath and reminds himself to stay focused. The less he gets sidetracked by Tony’s fuckery, the sooner it’s over.

He mentions the next part with unease. 

“...Miss Ahn said that we need references and should do field research. Speak to realtors. Ask people who have a similar lifestyle and budget.”

The look that comes over the other boys face is one of unequivocal revulsion. Peter can relate. The thought of having to spend more time with this guy makes his stomach turn.

“Well, Parker, any bright ideas who we can ask?”

The hinges of the front door squeaks before Peter can respond.

Moments after, Aunt May walks into the living room, placing her bag down on the dining table. She looks between the two boys curiously.

“Hey, Pete,” she comes to his side to squeezes his shoulder. “Who do we have here?”

Tony rushes over with his hand outstretched, an eager grin on his face. 

“Tony Stark, ma’am. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Oh, ah, okay, well,” May laughs as he enthusiastically shakes her hand. Her eyes are soft as Tony smiles brightly at her. “Nice to meet you too, Tony. I’m May, Peter’s aunt. Are you... friends with Peter?”

Peter snorts. 

“Definitely not. We just have an assignment --”

“-- Great friends, actually,” Tony talks over him, taking a seat beside Peter on the sofa. To Peter’s utter disgust, the other boy puts an arm around his shoulders, squeezing his bicep encouragingly. “Aren’t we, Pete? Hmm? Best buds. We go way back.”

Peter freezes, feeling the line of heat from Tony’s against his side, the weight of his arm on his body. 

Eyes widening, he feels his skin crawl. 

“That’s sweet,” May smiles, putting her hair up in a loose, messy bun. “Well, I don’t know about you boys, but I’m starving. I’m ordering pizza, Friday special. You should stay for dinner, Tony.”

Tony places his free hand on his chest.

“I would be honoured.”

May looks at Tony strangely before retreating to the kitchen to retrieve the menus.

As soon as she’s out of sight Tony takes his arm off Peter and quickly shifts away from him like he’s been burned. 

“Dude,” Peter whispers, bewildered. “What the fuck?”

“Oh my god,” Tony whispers, shuddering as his face scrunches up in disgust. “I’m going to have to pour scalding hot water on all the places your skin just touched me. Ugh, I feel like I just touched toe fungus.”

Peter slaps his arm.

“What is wrong with you?”

Tony backhands Peter’s arm in retaliation and then shudders all over again.

“Your aunt is crazy hot, okay, I couldn’t help myself. It was an instinctual reaction. Is she taken? C’mon. Vindicate me.” 

“I’ll eviscerate you --”

“-- I mean, clearly she married into the family, she doesn’t share your unfortunate phenotype, but I didn’t see a ring on her finger. So? Yes or no?”

“You’re unbelievable,” Peter hisses as his aunt comes back in. “She’s not available to you. Not now, not ever.”

“But she is available?”

“Don’t even, Stark. You’re like, sixteen. Don’t you have any shame?”

Tony smiles, as she nears. “Not a shred.”

“So,” May waves a menu at them. “You boys happy with pepperoni?”

Closing his eyes, Peter wishes for death.

As fate would have it, he gets pepperoni instead.

-----

If you had ever told Peter that he would be sitting down for dinner with his Aunt and a dirt-streaked Tony Stark, he would have laughed.

And if Peter were outside himself he would probably find the sharing of pizza and soda over their plastic, chequered table-cloth comical -- in that uncanny, Dogs Playing Poker kind of way. But in reality there was nothing funny about the discomfort of having Tony in his personal space or the heavy, suffocating tension that has removed the air from the room. 

The entire time Tony has been hamming it up, cracking jokes with his aunt, complimenting her on the decor, asking what she does for work. Peter doesn’t know if he’s being sweet to May for the purpose of buttering her up, or, given the wealth of his family in contrast to the Parkers, if he’s being cruelly facetious. 

Nonetheless, Peter has felt on edge. It’s disconcerting, is what it is. Every single movement Tony makes, every time he opens his mouth -- frequently to sweet-talk his aunt -- has Peter’s anxiety standing at attention, hyperaware of everything the other boy does.

He’s beginning to feel like a meerkat whose den has been invaded by a lion.

Through the course of a single meal Peter’s attention moves from the sky to the floor. There is no grace or higher power that is coming to save him from this profound, unusual torture. 

So he focuses his hopes to the south, seeing through their tiny, cramped, dinner table, past bargaining. He’s willing to trade his soul to end it all. Surely some wayward being from hell would come to his rescue. 

May has Peter’s chin between her fingers. She turns it this way and that, inspecting his injuries.

“What happened this time, bubby?” She frowns, brow furrowing. “You look like you got beat up.”

Peter, very aware of Tony’s amused gaze on them, gently pulls away from her grasp. He smiles placatingly and picks at his pizza slice. God he’s never going to live this down.

“Training accident. It’s okay, I feel fine. ‘Tis but a scratch,” he brings himself to joke.

“You sure?”

“Yep.”

She leans in to kiss his cheek, carefully avoiding the fresh scabs and injured flesh. “God, you bruise like a peach. Be careful, baby, you’re our money maker,” she laughs. “What about you Tony, do you play football?”

Tony, who is mid way through chewing on a mouthful of pizza, momentarily chokes, beating his chest with his fist to swallow down the obstruction.

“Uh, no,” Tony gulps, wiping his mouth with a napkin. “Nope. No recreational sports for me. Can’t.” He gestures to his chest and sighs heavily. “Asthma.”

Peter sips his coke and rolls his eyes, knowing full well there’s a half-empty pack of Marlboro Light’s in the pocket of Tony’s jeans. Asthma. What a schmuck.

“That’s a shame. Do you boys have classes together?”

Unfortunately, Peter thinks.

The other boy seems to have the same thought, as he glares at Peter from over the table. When he picks up his can of coke, he gives Peter the finger outside of May’s eye-line.

“That’s why Tony’s here,” Peter twists his napkin in his grip. “We have an econ assignment together on microeconomics. Teach says Tony’s destined to be on welfare.”

Tony leans in, chin rested on his hand. He addresses May but his stare, dark and odious, rests on Peter.

“Not accurate. Stay-at-home parent, actually. One might say that is the most important job of all. Wouldn’t you agree, May?”

She raises her Coke.

“Hear, hear.”

Tony grins roguishly, the same grin he gave the girls at the lockers earlier. “Petey here was just saying that we should ask you about your experience running a household on a single salary. We’d love to have you as a reference.”

“Was I saying that?” Peter narrows his eyes. “I can’t remember.”

Tony kicks him under the table. The hit lands right in his knee cap.

Wincing, Peter kicks back, satisfied when the other boy bites his lip to hold back a pained groan.

“Yeah, well, not surprising,” Tony says airily, waving his hand. “Hit your head today, didn’t you? Maybe you should get all that damage looked into.”

The napkin rips in Peter’s grasp.

“Maybe you should go f--”

“I’d be more than happy to help with your assignment, boys,” May cuts in.

Whatever snide reply he has in his mouth instantly wilts when he looks over to his Aunt. She looks...pleased. Delighted, almost. Her eyes under the dull, yellow kitchen light seem to get warmer, and her smile is small but softens around the edges.

Instantly, Peter feels like the worst person in the world. Of course May would be the best person to ask. She does so much for him, the least he can do is set his pride aside for one moment to make her feel good about how hard she works for their life.

He reaches over to squeeze her hand, smiling as gratitude swells unexpectedly in his chest.

“Thanks, May. That would be great.”

Across the table, a smug Tony looks like the cat who got the cream. 

Without warning, Peter’s chest goes hot with contempt, his fingernails dig into his palm. He’s not sure he’s ever met anyone he couldn’t like, until now.

I hate you, Peter mouths while May busies herself with rounding up the pizza boxes.

Kiss my ass, Tony mouths back. 

In an instant his expression flips from contemptuous to angelic when he stands and offers to help May clean up.

Peter stands too, sparing a disdainful glance to the floor. Turns out not even the devil was willing to give him a hand.

Natasha was right. It’s going to end in murder.

---

Peter walks Tony to the door after dinner to say goodbye to his ‘friend’. Following him into the hall, Peter closes the door behind them.

“What do you want, Parker?” Tony asks wearily, retrieving a cigarette from his pocket. “I’m trying to make a getaway here.”

Peter crosses his arms over his chest. “Don’t do that with my aunt. I’m not joking, asshole. It’s not cool.”

“Relax, princess,” Tony rolls his eyes, fishing for his lighter in his backpack. “I’m not actually interested. Just trying to get under your skin. Worked, see? You’re easy like that. Hey, why do you live with your aunt anyways?”

“None of your business,” he frowns as Tony holds one hand up in surrender and lights his cigarette with the other. “Dude, you can’t smoke in here.”

“Can’t, shouldn’t, gonna. By the way, you’ve got sauce on your chin, it’s very distracting.”

Peter wipes at it without thinking. When he pulls it away there is indeed a smear of red sauce on his hand.

Tony walks backwards down the hall and exhales a cloud of smoke, waving in a sardonic imitation of a farewell.

“See you Monday, bubby.”

Peter doesn’t bother with a response, too tired from the week, exhausted by this whole darn day, and it’s not like the other boy cares what he has to say anyway. He takes a moment to swallow his anger before he heads back inside, sighing. 

Well, at least he has an entire weekend free of Stark to look forward to.

May looks at him curiously when he reemerges, but says nothing. He considers for a moment about heading to his bedroom and playing a video game to disassociate - but then, suddenly, remembers her smile earlier, and how alone she looks now. A surge of affection hits him right beneath his breastbone.

He checks his watch and then catches her eye.  Tilting his head towards the living room, he says, “Hey. You wanna eat some ice cream and watch some Colbert before bed?”

She smiles just like she did earlier and kisses his cheek. “Sounds nice, Pete.”

Maybe the whole day wasn’t lost.

As May heads to the sofa and switches the TV on, Peter catches sight of the Magic 8-Ball from the corner of his eye. He walks over and gives it a shake.

Outlook good.

*

*

----

tagging: @bylerboyfriends @ravens-starker-stuff, @starker-rays, @ironspiderstarker, @notfor-temporaryuse, @tabbycat1220, @sugarfreecult, @rebel13lion39, @muse-of-gods

Aries, Gemini, Lyra, and Leo, from the constellation asks!

Thank you so much for submitting questions for Author Thursday! I apologize for the delay - had an unexpectedly long meeting that kept me from answering all of my late night asks until today.

Aries - Share a line that you’re proud of!

I feel like I’ve shared most of the ones I’m proud of thus...which is why I’ve shard them instead of stashing them away in the depths of my computer where no one can see them until they’re perfect LOL but lemme see if I can find one lying around somewhere... Ah, here’s one, but one I’ll likely need to explain thereafter:

“Oeden wept for a world that worshipped what it ought to have damned.”

Oeden’s essentially looking around at a world that thinks it’s doing everything well. But their “good life” is just selfish. He sees their hedonism, sees how they have turned from tolerating it to lauding it, and is grieved by it because he knows it cannot last. He knows that, in the long run, in what is soon to come, it could kill them.

Gemini - What inspired you to write this project?

Believe it or not, Kingdom Come started as a Dungeons & Dragons-style roleplay game! I was building a world where a group of people were settling an unexplored territory after a civil war destroyed their homeland. In the midst of making the history of this homeland, Kingdom Come as you know it came to be! Of course, the story’s changed so much now that the fate of their homeland is still not assured to be the same as it once was.

Also, since I’ve def shared that before, I’ll give a fun fact I don’t believe I’ve yet shared: in that roleplay game, you were going to meet Oeden and Elyk. But Oeden would’ve been a child, and Elyk would’ve been a young adult, since the timelines were different back then! Oeden was meant to be very affectionate and innocent at the time, but could still see the future - kinda that cute, but mysterious, kid vibe.

For Nevermore? Shadowhand was the first character I created, and the idea for her came to me suddenly after watching the Black Panther movie. I have no idea why. Afterwards, my mentor and I mentioned making a world of superheroes, which I continued to do on my own. When I was asked to potentially lead a short campaign for a tabletop game called Worlds in Peril about superheroes, I used my ideas! That tabletop campaign never came to be, so I turned Nevermore from a campaign into a book!

...I’m sensing a theme here I hadn’t realized before lol

Lyra - Give us a few songs that fit your project!

Oh gosh, there are sooooo many! Plenty are, unfortunately, spoilerific...or you just wouldn’t understand until you’ve reached certain points in the series. But I do have quite a few I can still name, or ones that the general vibe makes me think of Kingdom Come!

Knights of Cydonia (Muse)Centuries (Fall Out Boy)Let the Flames Begin (Paramore)If I Believe You (The 1975)Love Runs Out (OneRepublic)This is Gospel (Panic! at the Disco)Start a War (Klergy & Valerie Broussard)In the Valley of the Dying Son (House of Heroes)Pray (Sam Smith)Heathens (Halestorm OPB Twenty one Pilots)Angels (Within Temptation)Rising Up (Tales of Zestiria OST)

Leo - Do you have a favorite place to write?

Ordinarily, I write up in my third floor room (which is essentially a transformed attic) since no one is there to interrupt me - it’s hard for me to flow when other people are around. But if I had my choice? Guuurl, put me in a beach house with the wind in my hair, the smell of salt in my nose, and the sound of gentle waves on the shore, and I’m a happy camper. The beach inspires me like no place else.

Mine

A shorter one, but I really wanted to capture a moment like this. This probably happens a couple months after the last chapter.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12387858/5/The-Thin-Line

Enjoy!

Batman sits alone in front of the television watching Serendipity for the millionth time. It is late enough for Richard to be in bed, but early enough for Barbara and Alfred to be wandering around somewhere. Usually he waits for them to go to sleep before slipping into his suit, but he didn’t feel like waiting tonight. He just has this feeling that something will happen tonight – some sort of crime – and earlier than usual.

He makes it about halfway through the movie when the alarms blare throughout the house. He snaps his head up and calls, “Computer! Who is it?” With his security system tapped into all the cameras in the city it is easy to know.

“The Joker, sir. Alone.”

Batman shoves himself from the cushion and leaps over the back of the couch. “Mine! Called it!” he yells it so Alfred and Barbara – Barbara in particular – don’t go out instead. “I got this.” He rubs his hands together. It’s been a while since the Joker has gone it alone. At the very least Harley is usually there. He definitely can’t pass this up.

He leaps into his vehicle and speeds to the location of the break in. A jewelry store. Of course. He pulls up in front of the store, fully expecting to have to search a few streets before he is able to find Joker. Even when the Joker wants to be found he can’t completely curb his instinct to run. Plus if he lingers too close then the cops will find him before Batman even gets there.

So when Batman sweeps past the first alley and a patch of green catches his eye he is a little more than taken aback. He stops short and backpedals, alarm bells going off in his head as he hears a sharp cry – a familiar one. His eyes widen as he sees a stranger in the alley with his hand clenched around the Joker’s collar. “Hey!” A fire lights in Batman’s eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”

The suited man perks and raises a brow at Batman. “What does it look like?” He looks at Batman as if he is an idiot. “Justice.”

Batman scoffs. “Yeah, well, this is my town and my villain. So you can just go now.” He works to put on a smile, but it comes off as more of a sneer. “I can handle it from here.”

The man barks out a laugh. “Clearly not.” He shakes Joker in his grip. “Otherwise filth like this wouldn’t even be breaking and entering in the first place. They’d be locked up tight in a prison.”

Batman clenches his fists and grinds his teeth. “I. Said. Go.”

The man narrows his eyes. “Not until he tells me where he stashed what he stole.” He punches Joker in the mouth.

Joker yelps. He stares helplessly at Batman.

Batman seethes. He launches forward and smashes his fist into the man’s face.

The man gasps, stumbles, and loses his hold on Joker.

Joker drops to the ground with a grunt. He grumbles, rubbing at his face.

Batman towers over the man. “Don’t touch my nemesis.” He glares death at the man.

The man sneers in return. “You’re a piece of work.” He shoves past Batman. “I hope you’re proud of letting people be hurt by these scum.” With that he leaves the scene.

Batman scoffs, turning his attention to the Joker. His expression softens almost instantly. “Are you okay?” He holds a hand out.

A smile spreads across Joker’s face and his heart beats a little faster. “I am now.” He lays his hand in Batman’s.

Batman pulls Joker to his feet. His eyes snap to the criminal’s lips. “You’re bleeding…” He brushes a finger along Joker’s lips.

Joker shrugs. “I’ve had worse.”

Batman wants that to be the worst of it, but it’s impossible not to notice the purpling around his neck. “What the hell?” Tension and fury flood him all over again. He runs his thumbs along Joker’s neck. “What did that guy do to you?”

Joker flinches and averts his eyes. “Really, I’m fine,” he tries his best to brush it off.

Batman breathes deeply in and out. “Look, you can come back to Wayne Manor and I can take care of it for you.”

Joker chuckles. “Nah, Harley is good at that. You really don’t have to worry so much.” He smirks. “Besides, shouldn’t you be more worried about all the precious jewels I stole?”

Batman rolls his eyes. “Please, I’m not that stupid.”

Joker blinks. “Sorry?”

Batman smiles. “I know you didn’t take anything.”

Joker fumbles. He laughs with a nervous edge. “Of course I did.”

Batman shakes his head. “You only set the alarms off so I’d come running. Either that or you’re getting so sloppy you can’t even remember if you stole something or not.” He grins, but it is a fleeting sentiment in the face of his next thoughts. “Then that moron showed up.”

“Relax, Batsy. No need to get jealous.” Joker leans in close.

Batman pushes Joker’s face away and looks hard at him. “You know you can fight people other than me, right? You don’t have to let yourself get pummeled like that.”

Joker chuckles. “You wish that was why I ended up this way.” A flicker of discontent passes over his eyes. “You know I’m no fighter. I can only fight you because you don’t try as hard.” He grimaces. “If you hit me like you hit that guy…” He doesn’t even want to finish that thought.

Batman scoffs. “Batman doesn’t go easy on anyone.” He crosses his arms and looks pointedly in another direction.

Joker grins. “Of course not.” He wraps his arms around Batman’s neck and leans in close. “Then hit me, Batsy. Knock me out.”

Batman narrows his eyes and sticks his lips out in a pout. “You’re the worst.”

Joker snickers. “I know.” He pecks Batman on the cheek and takes three quick steps back. “But you hate me anyway.”

Batman blushes beneath his mask. He is too stunned for words. All he can do is grumble incoherent nonsense under his breath.

Joker grins from ear to ear. “Bye bye, Batsy.” He waves over his shoulder as he zips past Batman and back toward his base.

Batman slowly rises above the surface of his scattered mind. He lifts a hand to his cheek and feels the warmth there. More importantly, when he pulls his fingers back he sees the bright red staining them. His lipstick. He should probably find a way to get rid of that before heading back home. He does not need all the questions that will bring. Yet he doesn’t even double check. He rubs at the space, hoping for the best, while also knowing deep down that he kind of wants it to still be there, just for a little longer.

I needed a short, cuter one after spending almost a whole chapter with them upset with each other last time. lol I hope you liked it.

ALRIGHT, well today was something. Something indeed. Woke up to my alarm at 9:25, got out of bed and got ready, poured my cocoa krispies I not a bowl only to discover my milk had curdled one day past the expiration date (booo, but at least I discovered it before I poured it over the cereal) so I had to pour that back into the box and go with some cinnamon toast eggos and some cranberry oatmeal cookies (because I mean, cranberries and oatmeal are healthy, that's good enough) and stuck a yogurt smoothie drink in my bag to drink on the train. So I leave at 10 to get to school by 11. I get off the train and I see Dan hanging out, then I dig in my bag for like 2 minutes to discover I'm out of bars, and I'm also 100% out of cash, and change. But, I never got around to drinking my yogurt smoothie, so hey, he could probably use it more than me. So I go talk to him, and he says he was thinking about me the other day because some guy gave him a clif bar and those are what I always give out, and how he was hoping he'd see me soon, and that he really loved the yogurt things so that made me happy. Anthony wasn't out at that point which I was sad to see, but more on that later. Get to school, drop my stuff in the PAD office. I had to have my paper time stamped and in the drop box by noon, and it's a little after 11 at this point. I end up waiting for my spring break friend because we had been discussing stapling them or not (because they're generally too thick to be stapled) and she said she had those little black clips so she had to go print hers out and then we went and handed them in, time stamped 11:27. I don't know when they'll actually get out of that box and graded, I'm just happy that it's out of my hands now. I was supposed to meet with my field placement advisor at 11:30, but being that her office was literally one floor away I wasn't too worried, and I got there at 11:29 just as she was finishing her meeting with the other girl she's the advisor for. Pleasant enough meeting (well, for our line of work, but you know), I was telling her about the change of goal hearing I was witnessing the other day and she wanted to know what I would do if I was the judge and I was honestly like so torn because clearly this kids want to go home and you want to give the parents another chance, but at what point have they been given enough chances if this case has been in the system since 2013? Just a hard situation. I ended up saying I'd want to talk to the kids, which is the conclusion the judge came to as well. We talked a bit about the child death case of a baby (a few months after her 1st birthday I believe) that happened in a town a bit further out, and how when your normal person hears a news report like oh a child is missing they don't necessarily think any nefarious is going on but from this perspective you immediately know something is wrong for a child of that age, they can barely take two steps without falling, they don't go wandering off. As one lawyer in my office put it "once they said they couldn't find her after 10 minutes I knew she was dead." And sadly he was right. It was a really troubling case that's very indicative of the issues of the system because a DCFS investigator had literally been at the house earlier that day- typical dirty house case (yes that's a thing, it's a form of neglect and it requires a high level of filth and living in pretty much insect infested trash) and the girl's death will probably be ruled accidental, but that doesn't mean neglect charges can't be brought in criminal court because you can just leave a 1 year old alone...okay sorry for the rant, I'll move on now. So after the meeting I went back to the PAD office and wound up hanging out in the lounge for most of the rest of the day with several other members of my class and kind of alternated between attempting to explain concepts we only had a cursory handle on to each other, quizzing each other, bitching about the class, and bitching about other things haha. It was, honestly probably one of the more entertaining studying sessions I've had in a while, and it's good to hear what other people have been focusing on and a lot of them had like memorized formulas for claims that I could use so I worked on remembering those. At some point being that I'd only had a fairly light breakfast I was hungry, and decided to go to the salad place across the street that I've only been to once before because it's like *uber healthy* and that's very much not my thing haha but I had actually really liked what I got there the first time and felt like going there again. So I go outside, and Anthony is out in his normal spot, which is actually just to the right of this place. So, a bit of background I think I forgot to mention in some of these posts since I don't always catalogue our day to day conversations. A few weeks ago he told me it was his birthday and I wanted to get him something, so I told him I would because I wanted him to at least have a gift from somebody. Then of course I faced the same issue as Christmas- what do you buy for someone that's homeless/living in a shelter? The options are kind of limited. I ended up going with a personal sized fan, a really nice one from Brookstone. I was trying to find one with a long lasting battery like the watch I got him but they just didn't exist, so I gave him two times worth of batteries as well. I had left it in the office at that point though, so I went over to him and said I was gonna grab lunch but that I had his present and would come right back down with it, and of course I offered to buy him lunch because I mean, if I'm buying it for myself, how can I not offer to do the same for him when I clearly have the ability to do so? That's not love. So of course I did. I asked if there was anything in particular he liked and he said chicken salad which I wasn't sure they had but I told him I'd try, so I go in there and it's a chipotle style line thing with different combinations you can customize and have everything as a wrap or a salad, and they had other things too. They didn't really have anything close to chicken salad, so I figured a warm meal could probably do him good (despite it being the 3rd day of May, the air still had quite a chill in it today) so I got him a barbocoa chicken market plate which came with chicken and veggies and looked good. I think what I got was called the healthy turkey club or something like that, but it's just romaine lettuce, turkey in cube form, white cheddar, and egg whites all chopped up in a wrap, and then I get the ranch on the side because I can't have too much salad dressing so I need to be able to control it (but it then makes it difficult to dip without pieces of it falling into the dressing, but I digress). So I run outside, give Anthony his food which he seemed quite excited about, then ran back over to school, stashed my food, and grabbed his present and ran back out to give it to him and man, the smile that lit up his face when he saw what it was and he just said "how did you know I needed one of these?" Of course I didn't know, but somehow it was the thing I ended up buying for him (say what you will about coincidences, but I would refer to that as a small "God moment"). And man, he was just so happy and it made my heart so happy to see that. So I hugged him and said that while this was my last day down at school I'll try to be around and if I am I'll come by and say hello. I just find my interactions with my homeless friends to be so incredibly rewarding. They've taught me much more about strength, perseverance, and hope than I could ever give to them in food, change, or any other material possession. I feel so blessed to have known them. So that whole interaction, coupled with Dan's from earlier made me happy. I did have to go back and study though, so we hugged goodbye and I headed back across the street, where we did more studying/explaining/bitching/probably some other stuff in there somewhere lol. Different people from our class kind of ended up walking in and out at different times so it ended up being interesting to see who showed up. As the day went on I made a 7-11 run with one of my friends for sugar and caffeine, deciding on an iced tea with a decent caffeine rate, pretzel m&ms, and "bright side" skittles which are pretty good, and that managed to be a pretty solid pre-test dinner lol. When we got back we mostly quizzed each other on different things and laughed, then at 5:30 we headed up to the classroom as the exam started at 6. So we get up there, I put my stuff down, and run to the bathroom and...oh crap, I'm bleeding. Of all the shitty timing. I don't think I ever mentioned this here just because it didn't really occur to me, but a few weeks ago I started bleeding a bit, not heavy, while still taking my birth control regularly. I figured it was gonna happen at some point since I've been taking my bc packs back to back without the placebo pills (because if you know you're not pregnant you really don't need them) but even when I've taken the placebo pills for a number of days I haven't gotten anything, so it's been like a year......so this was shitty timing lol but at least I didn't have any accompanying cramps, that would've been the real issue. Guess I'll survive. Back to the classroom and we get started, new exam software that everyone's wary about because that shit is always looking to screw toy over, I swear, so everyone's always very careful with it. But we managed. The test was 15 multiple choice, which we did on a scantron, then had 3 essay questions which we could type on the computer. The multiple choice Q's were 1/3 of the grade, the first essay was 1/3, and then the second and third essays were 1/6 each. Alright, not bad. Multiple choice first, not bad. There were maybe one or two I had a legit debate between two answers, but overall I felt like I did pretty good with them so that satisfied me. The first essay, the long one, I immediately recognize the fact pattern as a note that we had read in the casebook (cuz our professor was obsessed with the notes) and she legit took it word for word because I remember reading it and what it had said because it was a really horrific crime (that I'll spare you the details of recounting). But the ultimate question was two ineffective assistance of counsel claims, one for the guilt phase and one for the sentencing phase since it was a capital case. I'm pretty dang familiar with all of that even before I got to law school or this class thanks to two little podcasts called serial and undisclosed that have covered the subjects fairly thoroughly, so I felt pretty good about that. I was debating if I should assess the two slightly different claims from the sentencing one separately or just combine them, but they were really getting at the same point so I just combined them so I guess we'll see. The second was a Brady violation one, which was pretty easy, and it was just a good faith/bad faith comparison because it was that and a destruction of evidence claim and for that you need bad faith and for Brady it doesn't matter if it was good faith or bad faith. Finally the last one was a client perjury one that we'd sort of gone over during the semester, just basically what do you do if you think your client is going to perjure themselves, all the avenues you can possibly (and ethically) take if they insist on testifying, so that was pretty straightforward. And yeah, that was it and I was done. Not bad at all. It's weird because I feel like I did like, a fair job on the test that wouldn't necessarily lead to a top grade on a curve, but past experience has taught me I generally underestimate my test taking skills, especially when it comes to writing, so I'm telling myself I'll probably get a good grade. So I think all my classes this semester are at least potential A's or A-'s, and I will be perfectly happy if that's what happen (but probably a little happier if it leans more heavily on the A's, like last semester). Headed home, stopped for ice cream that was actually the peach Melba frozen yogurt I got the other day that was really good because I deserve it dammit, then went home and did eat some actually food haha and figured I needed to keep up with Arrow if I want to watch the end of the season episode with Katrina and Katie in them *sigh* but I don't have to be happy about it. It was fine I suppose, I'm not really on the Olicity train anymore because all the crazies had me jumping off pretty quickly so I was kind of meh on that part, like I'm not actively against it but I just don't want it to like, take over the plot. I did like the rest of the team working together to get them out though, and how Johnny and Lyla came to an agreement about her working at ARGUS and them trusting each other (and I did appreciate Oliver and Felicity coming to the same agreement as well). The final rescue scene was pretty cool, and I have to say, I'm sure even with supports in place Stephen pulling Emily up sheerly by his arm strength was pretty fucking epic and had to have taken a LOT of strength, so kudos to him on training. And yeah, decent episode, I just want to see Katie and Katrina already *sigh*. After that I switched over to friends cuz that was on and did my PT exercises during it which I'm also trying to treat as ab exercises to some extent without over-extending myself, because I am so very good at doing that. And yeah, that was my day. Pretty busy one, but good and mostly enjoyable, and I'm so glad I'm finally done with everything because this year just felt like it dragged on forever and I'm ready to actually have some free time to relax in my evenings and such. I do have a semi-active day tomorrow though, I have to go back to the doctor who ended up treating me for the latest coughing episode that I no longer have a real diagnosis for, for a follow up, and I have to say, I was quite skeptical at first but I haven't really coughed in quite a few days now and I'm actually really damn impressed lol because that's actually super effective so I'm definitely pleased with that. Then I have PT at 4:30 and our small group final dinner at 7:30. I was sad though, the guy from our small group who I may have been developing a small crush on emailed today saying he actually wouldn't be able to make it, which sucks because he actually works at the nice restaurant we're going to and I was planning on being like "oh I'm gonna sit next to you so I can pick your brain on menu items because of my dietary restrictions" or something like that haha and then end up talking to him, so that sucks. He did however friend me on Facebook, so I'm concocting a Facebook message to send to him tomorrow being like "hey, I was so sad to see you couldn't make it, I was gonna use you to make sure I ordered something good 😂" or something half-serious like that and then probably follow up with "and omg did you see the marvel defenders trailer??? Im SO pumped" because we've had previous conversations about the marvel Netflix shows. So I guess we'll see where that goes, lol. Okay this is WAY to long and I need to shut up and go to bed now, lol. I hope your day was lovely as well. Goodnight friends. Best of wishes to you and yours.

ok, long but good day. woke up to my alarm at 7:45, got up and got dressed, stuck the last of my toiletries in my suitcase and got an uber to the airport. Got there about 8:45, which was my goal time, so I was happy about that. got through security no problem, something I was like low key nervous about because I had originally thought the Real ID law going into effect meant I needed an enhanced driver’s license to use as ID, but I did a bunch of online research and knew that wasn’t the case, but was still a little worried about lol. I walk to my gate, which is allllll the way at the very end of the terminal. there’s a starbucks there, so I order a breakfast sandwich and a drink. I keep making the mistake of thinking that if a drink is on the app’s mobile ordering menu the barista will know how to make it, when that is clearly not the case. I asked for a “violet drink” which is the equivalent of “pink drink” but made with the berry hibiscus refresher instead of the strawberry acai refresher. but the cashier didn’t know what I was talking about so I just ended up with a normal berry hibiscus refresher 🤷🏻‍♀️ oh well. I sat for a while and used the free wifi while charging my phone on the conveniently located outlets, and in not too long they were boarding. My zone gets called, I swipe my boarding pass on my phone, and the lady is like “you’re good- oh wait no you’re not” because the machine was saying there was something wrong with my boarding pass and she was like “are you on standby?” and I was like....no....I bought this ticket a month ago I’m not on fucking standby. so she has me come around to the front of the desk and wait while she gets other people on the plane, where there are apparently other people waiting who also had boarding pass issues. At this point I’m fairly ticked off, and if I somehow don’t get on that plane I’m mentally planning what I can threaten to sue them over (clearly breach of contract, they made false promises that I relied upon to my detriment and I should be able to collect damages for the ticket prices and waste of my time), but then she types some things into the computer and gives me a paper boarding pass with a different seat number (which was exactly 5 rows in front of my original one). So I’m just like hey whatever, I don’t really care, just let me get on the plane, and if I don’t have to threaten to sue anybody than that’s good. So I boarded and got settled, opened the in flight magazine to see what sudoku they had going, they had easy and hard kenken puzzles, both of which I completed before the plane even pulled away from the gate 😂 (hashtag expert status) and I made pretty fast work of the easy sudoku puzzle before pulling out my phone and reading some fanfic I put on there forever, and then I was gonna start the stuff I loaded on it last night, but ended up wanting to reread one of Jess’ longer fics, and that pretty much took the rest of the time of the flight, lol. We landed at 1:30 NY time, I get off the plane and get my bag just fine, I’m texting my mom about where to meet her and I literally walk out of the airport just to see my mom driving by and I’m like, waving furiously trying to get her attention but NOPE she just keeps driving and I’m just like DAMMIT because if you’re familiar with laguardia airport you know they’re currently doing a massive construction project that has been making everyone’s life hell, so she had to do another full loop around to get back to where I was, which took another like, 15 minutes. So I finally get in the car and we start the drive home, my mom randomly pulls off the highway to this little town in search of somewhere she can get a green tea latte (which is apparently her thing now) and we end up in this adorable little place that’s billed as a coffee and ice cream shop but has a whole lot of interesting food options like fancy grilled cheeses and an assortment of belgian waffle flavors. And if you know me you know I’m obsessed with well-made belgian waffles, so I got a “churro” flavored one which was made with cinnamon in the batter, then topped with cinnamon sugar and vanilla ice cream, and damn I was pretty much in heaven. so we go back to the car and finish the drive home, pretty soon after we get there my mom has to take my sister to her therapy appointment (apparently she’s doing much better now than earlier in the year and my parents are very happy about it) so I was mostly alone and just did stuff on my computer for a while. eventually people returned and we decided to order pizza for dinner because my mom hadn’t been to the store and didn’t have anything to bake, so I called that in and the delivery guy came, and there was a very awkward exchange during which I was just standing there with the door open holding the collar of our golden retriever so he didn’t go run and jump on the delivery guy (he’s totally harmless, but he’s rather big and I know some people would not appreciate being jumped on) while my mom went upstairs to get money out of the sock (where my parents stash their cash) to pay for the pizza lol. But we got the pizza and paid for it successfully, and I put my piece under the broiler for a few minutes so the cheese gets nice and crispy and I’m in pizza heaven. dad comes home pretty soon and my mom pulls out some anchovies she was apparently saving for him (my favorite topping combo is pepperoni and anchovies, but I can’t really have pepperoni now so it just ends up being anchovies) so I had my second piece with them and it was very enjoyable. After dinner we just kind of chilled, me still on my laptop and the parents watching HGTV or whatever while the other siblings kind of milled about, and that ended up being out it for the night. we figured out train schedules to get me to the city tomorrow, the interview is at 11 and it’s about a 20 minute subway ride from penn station, so I’m gonna take the 8:30 train that gets in at 9:56 so I’ll surely have enough time to get there, even if everything goes haywire and I end up having to just hop in a cab or an uber (I’ve successfully navigated New York’s subway system before, once you’ve mastered one you can really figure out all of them, so I don’t expect anything to go wrong). the interview is supposed to last a little over an hour, and then I can take the train back home. It’s still been on my mind all day about whether it’s a job I want to take or not (assuming I get offered the job of course) and as much as it pains me to admit it because I’ve really, really liked my life in Chicago lately, I know this is the best opportunity for me and it’d be foolish not to take it when I don’t have any other possible offers or even interviews for any other job period, much less any job that actually deals with children. and like, I could make a job in a similar field like domestic violence work for a few years, but my heart wouldn't be in it (I mean, for DV in particular it is a cause I’m very much invested in so I would have my heart in it, but not the same way it’d be when it comes to kids where I really want to be) and it’d just be passing time until I can get hired at a job with kids. Right now I’m not crazy about the idea of being close to my family, even though they obviously REALLY want me back, and at one point in the past year I was convinced that it’s what I wanted to do and I probably accidentally got their hopes up on it, something has shifted, I don’t know what, but I’m not quite in that frame of mind anymore. I guess part of it is realizing that if I took this job in the city I don’t really have a group of friends there and I’m scared about being lonely, especially when my friend situation has been so great lately. So I don’t know. I think if it gets offered I’ll probably feel obliged to take it, but then I just have this overwhelming sense of foreboding of my time in Illinois and my time living this awesome life I’ve been living is going to be over, and like, that really sucks. But that’s about all I gotta say on that subject. Another thing worth noting that happened today though was I convinced my parents to pay, as my birthday gift, for me and Jess to go to Collective Con in Florida the weekend right before my birthday, because Brandon Routh and Courtney Ford are going to be there and we *obviously* need to take advantage of this and be able to experience seeing them as a couple outside of the show. I was pretty sure I could get my dad to go for it if I framed it right, so I looked up flights to make sure I got the absolute best prices (which were unfortunately still like $500 a pop, but there were ones that were much worse) and identified an airbnb and convention passes to give him a final number because I know that he’s more likely to approve stuff like that if I frame it the right way. So that’s gonna be coming up at the end of the month and I am SUPER psyched about that, we’re gonna fly out Friday morning and come back Monday morning, which is my birthday, and also the night “I, Ava” airs, then in two weeks we have C2E2 and HVFF Chicago, so it’s basically gonna be the best time ever and hopefully I won’t start flunking all of my classes because of it. But yeah, that was mostly my day. Hopefully tomorrow will go well. I’m always trying to think of questions to ask them because I know in job interviews they want you to have questions, but I always end up defaulting to like “what’s your favorite part about working here?” which I feel is kinda lame, so if any of you have ideas on that front, please hit me up with them by tomorrow morning lol. It’s almost 1:30 am now though and I have to be up at 7, so it is definitely time for me to go to bed. Goodnight my lovelies. Happy Friday.