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#i still find if jarring to see bts moments like this of very emotional moments
accio-victuuri · 1 year
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source: 限時狂想丨0805x1005
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xxlightsaberxx · 3 years
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love again | part 1 ❄︎
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♡ hello everyone, this is my first written fic, I decided to try it out. I grew up reading books and fan fictions, might as well try it out. I hope you guys like it, I am very much open to suggestions, anything to make my writing better. This will be a three-part story. The plot is actually inspired by what happened to a friend of mine. -arrise-
♡ I suggest listening to these songs:
LOVE AGAIN- Daniel Ceasar & Brandy
TRANSFORM-Daniel Caesar (feat. Charlotte Day Wilson)
Still With You- Jungkook (BTS 방탄소년단)
Let Me In- H.E.R.
She's Got a Way (Instant Love)- Lolo Zouai
♡tags- angst, fluff, timeskip!sakusa x grown!f!reader
synopsis: You leave Tokyo and start a new, only to come back 5 years later looking for answers and ready to face the world you left behind; Sakusa Kiyoomi.
PART 1- it’s never over until life ends| PART 2 | PART 3 | MASTERPOST
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"Oh what in fresh hell is this?"
Bottles, pizza boxes and just garbage around your humble apartment in Tokyo. You hear stirring by the couch, thud, "what the hell..". A whiff of alcohol hits your nose as someone approaches from behind, a tall brunette tackles you in to a tight hug "You're finally back after abandoning us for years." she sneered. You laugh and take in the people in front of you 'has it been five years?' you think.
" yeah.. I'm back ..... and you started without me."
Smiling at the two women who's had your back since you could remember. Suri handed you a beer and that's where all the reminiscing started. From the day you left Tokyo to Ayane's journey to being a lawyer to Suri finally having her dream family. The three of you just went about chatting and laughing about your crazy adventures to adulthood until,
"So any romantic affairs we should know of, y/n?"
The air suddenly felt tense, how do you tell your friends that you were still pinning for a boy you fell in love with in middle school? You can already see the eye rolls and whines from the two girls in front of you. "Been on dates here and there, nothing really serious" you say, trying to pry off the difficult subject.
"You're still not over him, are you?" Ayane stated.
She always read you like a book, you find it endearing but at times annoying. She looked after you, protected you. She was there when you stated freaking out because you had your period, she was with you when your 'Meemaw' passed, and she was your shoulder to cry on when you experienced your first heartbreak, Sakusa Kiyoomi.
Suri wasn't any different, she knew how to make you smile and brighten up anyone's day. Albeit joining your group last, Suri definitely made an impact in your life. She thought you how to have fun and live life to the fullest. Ayane and her would always keep you in place, especially in love. You remember how they would help you find the right boy, only for you to circle back to the latter.
"Not this again. Y/n it's been years let go of the man and find your self another hiney to bite." Suri counters. "We could go to bar right now and find yourself a one-night boyfriend." She continues, Ayane glares at her and throws a crisp at her, "Hey! I'm just saying, she's been single almost all her life, let alone hasn't gotten her "carnal treasure" touched yet, might as well do it the short way, go to a bar and meet a guy." She smirks at you and wiggle her eyebrows.
"Or we could go to Vegas".
Ayane sighs and looks at you, then back to Suri "Brilliant, bring your single-all-her-life friend to Vegas so she can move on , drink, find a guy to 'have fun' with, just to wake up the next day with a hangover. Now she's sitting in bed, feeling like shit and contemplating her actions. Everything finally sinks, guy nowhere to be found, and somehow her purse is missing. Not only did she have her virginity taken by some schmuck, he robbed her and she still hasn't gotten over the guy she's supposed to forget." Ayane mocked, sarcasm clearly dripping from her words. Suri stuck her tongue out at her and took a bite of her pizza. “That’s awfully specific, you are su-”
"Guys, I'm literally right here." you interject. They both look at you, "I've thought about it, I wish to forget him, but it's like my body, my heart just won't let me. He's in everything I lay my eyes on, magazines, tabloids, social media, television." You huff, "I think I need to see him, I need to get this over with! Woman up and put on my big girl pants." you continue.
"Seriously?!" They screamed. "That guy flat out rejected you, left you in the cold to freeze. And threw your friendship away just because "he felt weird" after you poured out your feelings to him. He's a douchebag." Suri exclaimed, rolling her eyes. You've never seen her like that before, "I don't wanna see you like that again, Y/N, please." On the other hand, Ayane's silence is making you uncomfortable, she looks at you disappointingly.
"I did not just hear you say that." Ayane says while rubbing her temples. "Jesus Y/N, do you remember how that day affected you? it's like something inside you switched off, you weren't the same, you locked yourself away and that went on for days." Her hands are on your shoulders, shaking them. You remember it clear as day.
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You're standing under the winter covered trees, holding a box neatly wrapped with a blue ribbon. Inside the box were homemade onigiris made the day before, you remember how you called your grandfather to teach you how to make it. The umeboshi within the cloud of sticky rice, were special too. You remember Kiyoomi-san talking about a small store outside of town that sells them, you travel there and retrieved a jar. Onigiris are Japanese comfort food, often associated with love. Much like how you felt for him.
You met Sakusa Kiyoomi through his cousin Mori-san. He told you he was a bit of a germaphobe, you took note of that and kept a bottle of purell ever since. The day you met him was a doozy, "oh boy, he's super cute and .... Tall" you thought. "Thanks...I guess" He replied. Oh God. Did you really just say that out loud. You mutter a sorry, taking out your sanitizer and using it before stretching your hand out, "Nice to meet you, I'm Y/N." His hands were cold and rough but you didn't mind.
He wasn't chatty, answering in short sentences or sometimes just nodding at you, but he listened and took interest in what you were rambling about. From then on, your schedule would always include hanging out with Kiyoomi and Komori, you were an odd bunch, but who cares.
They day you realized that you were harboring feelings for the raven haired boy, was when he went out of his way to comfort you when your grandmother passed away. Sure, Ayane, Suri and Komori were there, but Kiyoomi surprised you. He knew how you loved your grandma, you talked about her all the time. He spent days with you in the hospital, even though he hated hospitals, "it's practically a house of germs" he would say, and yet there he was holding your hand, it wasn't as rough as you remembered, it felt** warm** and soothing.
That one day opened your heart to new emotions, love and grief.
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“You’re crazy if you think we’re gonna let you meet up with him.” Suri said. You raise your eyebrow and say “I guess, I’m crazy then” you retort.
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"Hey." a voice interrupted your thoughts, you smile at him and told him to sit beside you. "So why'd you want to meet?" your hands were shaking, this is it you thought, handing him the box, "Uhm.. here I made these for you. I hope you like them." Kiyoomi took the box and looked at you "Thank you, Y/N." He smiled at you, nodded his head gesturing you to continue. You avoided his gaze and looked up at the sky, "You're an enigma, Sakusa Kiyoomi." He chuckled, "From the moment I met you, I could never read you. You are so full of surprises. Being your friend, I was never sure what to expect, and that excites me." your heart was going over the speed limit, still you continue "But there was one thing I'm sure of, I've fallen inlove with you." Now, you look at him with hopeful eyes, "There are countless words I may use to express how much I've fallen for you, but I know how important showing 'it' is to you." Something clicks in him, he looks down at the box slowly opening it, three Onigiris placed next to each other, decorated with chamomile and marigold flowers, you knew he liked putting them in his tea.
"It's not much but I did my best to s-" you were interrupted by him, "I'm sorry, Y/N, but I don't see you that way, and frankly I will never see you that way." He declared calmly. He stares at you, his eyes cold and dark, he stands up and leaves muttering an 'I have to go', the box now on the ground, the rice-snack and flowers wasted in an instant like you didn't spend hours and days making them. After that weekend, He avoided you like the plague and you try to approach him but everytime you do, he’ll say he’s busy or ‘I’ve got practice, don’t waste my time’.
Your heart was longing for him, you locked yourself in your room and only spoke when needed to. Everytime you see him, your heartbreaks. Ayane and Suri worried about you, your attitude made a complete 180 degree turn, no more was the girl who greeted everyone with a huge smile, no more was the girl who loved to chat about anything, what remained was a girl who kept to herself and showed no emotions but misery.
Approaching your third year, you broke the news to your two bestfriends, "I'm moving to New Zealand."
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Sighing deeply, “Look, I know you guys care about me, and forever, I will be grateful for that,” you took their hands “But, I’m not the same girl anymore, being overseas and being with myself, made me realize lots of things, these led me to learn more about myself and life.” You smiled at them.
“Y/N last time you saw him, you impulsively made a decision and moved 6,848 km away from us, your family, your home.” Ayane stated. You turn your head to graze out the window, ”And it was thebest decision, I’ve ever made.” you turn your head back, genuinely smiling at your friends, “Let me do this, I want to see him.”
“Oh and by the way, you’re cleaning this mess.“ you hear them groan and you chuckled. ‘It’s good to be back.’ you thought.
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♡ yay, you’ve made it to the end of part one. thank you so much! I really appreciate it. it’s always hard to face what scared and hurt you, be it a person or occurence or anyhting, but there will come a time you’re gonna look for answers to be able to have balance in your life, just trust yourself. I hope you tune in for the following parts of the story.-arrise-
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As all of you probably already know, Jared had a solo virtual panel last Sunday (on the 22nd). If by chance you haven’t seen it I highly recommend checking it out, as always I will be linking to it at the end of the post. For anyone curious, he did talk a bit about the final episode of Supernatural and about Sam’s ending. 
Y’all know the drill so let’s just jump into my thoughts:
- I’m still not used to seeing him with his new short hair, and I love his longer hair so I hope he grows it out again someday, but it looks so good on him! It makes him look younger and so cute 😍
- Speaking of his hair, he’s not used to it either! He was asking for hair advice at the beginning of the panel because he doesn’t know how to manage it yet 😂 
- He was asked what his 3 favorite episodes are and he said: the finale, Sacrifice and French Mistake. The Finale because he is a fan of storytelling and for him the finale answered a lot of questions and wrapped things up in a way that he found meaningful, poignant, and frustrating but in a wonderful way, Sacrifice because it’s another episode were we really get to see inside the boys and see their commitment to each other, and French Mistake because it was fun and it really stands out in his mind as an hour of tv that he doesn’t know if any other show could do. 
- He said Sam and Cordell Walker would be friends, I’m soft 🥺
- Was asked his fav HP book, movie and spell. Book and movie are pretty much the same: Deathly Hallows, pt 2 in the case of the movie. Spell he said Expecto Patronum...then he said Sam and Dean were each other’s patronus...because when Sam was in trouble Dean was there and when Dean was in trouble Sam was there...I’m fine.... JARED PADALECKI WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
- I didn’t even have time to come down from those feels cause right afterwards he was asked his craziest, funniest bts moment he had on spn through all the years, and he gave two examples: when he was waiting for Tom to be born and when he and Jensen were waiting for the twins to be born.
I was not ready for this man to go into a full blown story about the day the twins were born. If you hear screaming, it's me losing my mind.
So, he mentions how when Tom was to be born he was anxiously waiting for G to message him and how after she did they filmed a couple more scenes before Clif drove him to Seattle. And he says that it was the same when Jensen’s twins were to be born, that everyone was glued to their phones and that it was a bit farther travel because D had the twins in Austin and so and I quote “we had to go way far away”. Then he told the story about how Jensen left his passport behind- I think this might be the first time we’ve heard Jared tell this story cause we’ve heard it from Jensen but I can’t recall Jared telling it by himself but basically for those that don't know the story goes that the day before D was to go to the hospital to have the twins, the boys were filming and Jared asked Jensen if he had his passport and according to Jared Jensen was all “I’m not the one who forgets things, of course I do” so Jared asked him as a favor that the next time they went to their trailers he just touch his passport, so they keep working and when they get a break they go to their trailers and when they meet back up...turns out Jared was right, Jensen did not have his passport.
They had been attending cons so he had left it in another bag thinking he was going to be taking that bag with him, which he didn’t, so they were stuck in Canada. Thankfully, they have friends who work in the Austin PD so they contacted them and they were able to help them deal with customs and immigration and everything, and Richard Speight who was directing the episode they were filming at the time was able to wrap up with them so it was hectic but they were able to get home in time which btw is exactly how he puts it “it was a pretty hectic moment but we got home in time.” 
There’s just something about him telling this story completely unprompted, and the way he tells it, and the look on his face as he’s telling it, and that he says it was a happy ending, and the “we got home in time” like you can just tell this was an important moment for him. And not important in the way of it’s important to him because of his friend or that his friend be there on time, no, no, it was important to him that they both be there, it was important to him that they both be home. Like, hearing him tell it you can tell that wasn’t a hectic moment for Jensen only, it was for him as well; and him mentioning the twins being born along with his first born it just gives me all the feels. (Timestamp)
- Moving on, when talking about how his acting career got started, he got up to get a Teen Choice surfboard he had won a couple years ago and we got a very nice glimpse of padabooty. I was staring appropriately 🍑👀
- He was asked by a fan from Puerto Rico (Puerto Rico! 🇵🇷) which country Sam and Dean would like to visit on vacation, and he said Puerto Rico!!!!!!! 😭 He said if Sam and Dean could have found a demon or something on the island they would have been here in a snap- Jared baby we got ghosts, aliens, el chupacabra they could have found something 😂 Not gonna lie every time he said Puerto Rico I squealed a little 💓
- He shared that there were some ad libs in the finale, and unsurprisingly they were the best scenes; there was some ad libbing in the barn scene when Dean dies and the boys greeting to each other in Heaven was also ad libbed. Bless this boy for trying to give Dabb and Singer credit but the little additions, the meaningful ones that had thought put into it, that called back to the Pilot they were all the boys and really by the sound of it mostly Jared. Like, even Sam’s son telling Sam it was okay for him to die like Sam said to Dean in the barn was Jared’s idea. 
Also this fucking softy, he started thinking about Dean’s death scene while answering this question and he got all emotional and misty eyed 😭
- Another Easter egg that the boys were the ones who added, was Sam keeping Dean’s watch, him and Jensen thought it would be something Sam would have kept and worn. 
When talking about that Easter egg he said him and Jensen are big watch fans, I don’t know why I found that so cute.
- He was asked his feelings towards Sam’s ending, and he said he had about a year and a half to think about it cause he had obviously found out way before we did, and that at first it was a little jarring and abrupt but then he says how would you feel about anybody’s ending? and that if you were told how you’re gonna pass whether you’d ever be okay with it so for him no matter how Sam ended it would have been difficult for him to wrap his head around, but once he did digest and spend over a year with it he, personally, feels it was the best way to tell Sam’s story and that Sam tried to live his life the way Dean would have wanted him too; he said that he’s passionate about Sam’s ending being appropriate and Sam got the ending Dean fought for so for him he’s as happy as he can be with Sam’s ending. (Timestamp)
So....here’s the thing, I’m happy that he’s happy with how Sam’s story ended but- I don’t know, y’all know I have my issues with the finale and Sam’s ending is one of the big ones so it’s probably my own issues coloring my view of this but it sounds like while he’s happy with the ending Sam got maybe it’s not the ending he would have wanted and like much like Jensen he too had his struggles with the ending like it sounds like a mild version of what Jensen has mentioned: he struggled with the ending at first but then after a year of thinking about it he accepted it and finds that he’s as okay as he’s going to be with it and it’s an ending that’s still appropriate to the character so he's happy with it. But like I said, I have my own issues with the end and that’s probably coloring my view. 
- He was asked about props that he kept and he shared that Jason, his stand in on the show made him and Jensen a very sweet gift. On the final day of filming he got two picture frames and made copies of the boys last call sheet, and framed them along with their tape marks. 
- When talking about what it’s like to be both an actor and producer now for Walker he mentioned how he and Jensen sort of became, especially in the later years, creative producers on the set of spn even though they didn’t have the title. I will, forever remain, of the opinion that they should have been named or given producer credits for this show and that they deserved a proper seat at the table. Honestly, the writers of this show had no idea the treasures that they had with these men.
- He was asked script changes due to covid and he said the biggest change he knows of is that originally they were going to bring back a lot of the cast to be in a scene or two in Heaven. But he also says that maybe it ended up the way it should and that it was pretty magical storytelling that it all came full circle to being about the boys because it was always about Sam and Dean. 
And I agree, it worked out for the best because I’m telling y’all I know it in my gut that if it hadn’t been for covid restrictions that ending would have been a carousel of characters and wouldn’t have been nearly as impactful or brother centered as it turned out to be. 
He also once again mentioned getting everyone together for a reboot in a couple years, I'm telling y'all I wouldn't be surprised if there was a reboot in a couple years. But I hope they don’t bring back everyone if there is one...🙃
- Because he's not done attacking me he said that Sam's Heaven is mostly Dean 😭
Another thing that was Jared's idea was having Sam dressed as close as possible to how he was in the Pilot because to him Sam's happiest moment was getting back on the road with his brother 😭
- He said he and Jensen will definitely work together again! He hopes sooner rather than later, and said that Jensen has a standing invitation to do whatever he wants on Walker. He doesn't know if he'll be able to go up to Toronto since he's so busy with Walker but him and Jensen will find something somewhere.
This man has my number, if he's not coming at me with the brother feels he's coming at me with the j2 ones; this made me so happy to hear, I'm not surprised in the slightest but it still made me so happy to hear him say he and Jensen plan to work together again in the future and it's so cute how he said sooner rather than later like he worked with that man for 15yrs you'd think he'd be ready for a break but nope he already wants to work with him again and is looking at his schedule like 'umm what week can I sneak off to Toronto?' ❤
Now, if I may take a moment to be petty and say suck it! to those who thought the end of spn meant the end of j2's relationship.
- The panel ended with him giving some advice for anxiety. He shared that something that has worked for him is accepting it ain't going anywhere but you can learn to live with it.
And that was the panel! Like I said if by chance you haven't seen it I highly reccomend it, it was a great panel, he was all in his brother feels and he was mentioning Jensen left and right, and he looked adorable- honestly, like it just made me happy and gave me a needed cheer up.
Jared Solo Panel November 22nd 2020
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tipsydipsydo · 4 years
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Please respect that. I’ll fight any illegal use of my work!
Thank you.
「Information: Only the unique combination of pictures, the colour schemata and editing of the moodboards is my intellectual work! I don’t own the pictures themselves and all credits are going to the rightful owners!」
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➸ Blog Navigation
A post where you'll find all my other themed Masterlists of my writings, my personal sideblog, my fic-recs blogs and so much more!
➸ My Networks
This is a list of all the networks where I got accepted as a writer in their community. Please check them out! 
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➙ Information!
All the showed (anonymized) persons on my Moodboards should only symbolizes specific scenes, situations, outfits, jewelry or cosmetics! Nothing of this should make you feel excluded when you have a different skin color, hair color/structure, body shape or gender!
My scenarios and fics should be open for everyone to read, that’s why I try my best to write gender neutral and male scenarios/fanfics as well!
(Some scenarios or fics could still be personalized for specific groups of people or communities where I think they deserve some more attention and love! For example because there is a lack of writings for them etc.)
What I want to say:
We all are the same equal in our own unique existence!💓
I love all of you guys!🤗💓
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» Gender «
↬ Female: ♔ [♔-Reader]
↬ Male: ♚  [♚-Reader]
↬ Gender neutral: ♕  [♕-Reader]
» Genre Key «
↬ Fluff: 🌸 
↬ Angst: 🌧 
↬ Hurt and Comfort: ☔
↬ Serious Themes: ⚠️🚫                                                                                
 (For example sexual assault, (mental) illnesses, traumatic experiences, rascism, antisemitism, islamophobia, homophobia, transphobia etc.) 
➙ We can’t take those things easy and I’ll not accept that someone “joke” about it!                                                                                                 
↬ Comedy/Crack: 🌞 
↬ Soft Smut [sweet vanilla~]: 💋 
↬ Hard Smut [kinky stuff~]: 😈 
   ┃ ➙ [💋😈]: kinky smut with feelings ;)             
[Information]
I made a list where I explain what kind of sexual content I’d write, how I interpret different kinks (especially how the Dom-/Sub-Dynamic in my fics work) and with what kind of Smut I’m not comfortable.
 ┃➙ My sexual content Rules!                      
» Other useful symbols «
↬ Scenarios: 💭
↬ “Connected to” (connected to an other scenario/fic/series): 🖇 
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 ► Kink-Scenario 😈💋  [♔- Reader] 
[What kind of dirty secret(s) could the boys have?]
 ► Halloween Costume-Scenario  🌸💋😈 [♔- Reader]
[You’re wearing a scandalous Halloween Costume for a Halloweenparty...]
 ► Their favourite Make out-/Sex-Songs: Hyung Line Maknae Line  💋😈   [♔- Reader] 
[Which songs would bring the boys right into the mood?] 
 ► Honeymoon-Destinations: Hyung Line Maknae Line 🌸 [♔- Reader]
[What cities/countries would they choose for their honeymoon-trip?] 
 ► When the boys have a crush on you!
     ▸  Their feelings for you! 🌸  
        ▪ here [♕- Reader]
     ▸  Their dirty thoughts about you! 💋😈 
        ▪ About him  [♚- Reader]
        ▪ About her   [♔- Reader]
► Easter Special 🌸💋😈
[You’re wearing a sexy bunny outfit for them on Easter Sunday!]
    ▪  Easter with her! [♔- Reader]
    ▪  Easter with him!  [♚- Reader]
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» Series Key «
↬ Finished: 💯
↬ Ongoing: 💬
↬ Long Term Project: 📅
↬ Paused: ⁉️
↬ Uncompleted: 🗑
(the last one will hopefully never happen...)
 ▲ ▼ ▲▼▲
► Naughty Days ‘til Christmas 💋😈 [♔|♚|♕-Reader]
This is a spicy Advent Calendar for Christmas: The Boys bought an Erotic Advent-Calendar and every day they unpack another sexy Accessory with the Reader. Of course they try all the products! 💬
(24 Smut-Drabbles with female/male/gender neutral Readers) 
► BTS Dog Hybrid-Series   🌸🌧💋😈  mostly [♔-Reader] BUT [♚/♕-Reader] possible!
Seven different stories about the boys in a world where humans and hybrids exists, an unique ethnicity of humans they’re able to shift their shape into a dog.    ⁉️| 📅
► BTS “We’re all the same equal!”- Series 🌸💋🌧⚠️🚫 [♔|♚|♕-Reader]
 We all deserve the same love, no matter if we’re are chubby, thin, tall, short, have white or colored skin, are a female, male or an other gender. It simply doesn’t matter. And the boys would still love us. And they would teach us to love ourselves.  ⁉️| 📅
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 ► Disobedience [Hoseok x Reader x Namjoon] 😈 [♔- Reader]
Summary: You are sexually frustrated, annoyed and bored, which is why you started to mastubate without the permission of you boyfriends, Namjoon and Hoseok. Even if they promised to take care of your needs tonight. But you don’t feel like waiting anymore. But you also didn’t expect that Hobi will catch you with your pastel blue dildo deep into your pussy...  
► l’innocence indécente [Jimin x Reader x Jungkook] 💋 [♔- Reader] 
Synopsis: Jungkook and Jimin want to try something new with you... and you have to admit that you like it. A lot... 
► Prey  [Jimin x Reader x Taehyung] 😈💋 [♔- Reader]
Synopsis:
► Birthday Princess [Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung feat. Jungkook] 😈 [♔- Reader] 
Synopsis: You have Birthday today and your two boyfriends make sure that you will be sexually pleased to the ultimate maximum...
► Birthday Gift [Seokjin x Reader x Jimin] 😈 [♔- Reader]
Synopsis: Your Boyfriend Jimin bought you something very specific as your birthday present. You should use it as a preparation tool before you’ll get the real birthday gift tonight... 
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 ► Halloween Special 💋😈  [♔- Reader]
 ► Easter Special 🌸💋😈
     ▪  Easter with her!  [♔- Reader]
     ▪  Easter with him!  [♚- Reader]
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► My Fake-Texts Masterlist  [Semi-active/inactive] [♔- Reader]
Note: At the beginning of my blog I was more focused on making fake texts (simply it was easier and more comfortable for me back then because I was a bit insecure about my language struggles) but now it’s not my main thing anymore. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want to make fake texts in general anymore but right now I like the “real” writing much more! So I don’t know when I’ll make new fake texts. 
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► Improvisation 🌸💋😈 [♚-Reader]
Summary: This wasn't planned. Well, the whole world didn't planned to deal with a damn pandemic in 2020! If everything would have gone "normally", you would be in Seoul with Jin right in this moment and just enjoy that you're finally able to be close to Jin again. But now you two are stucked at home, Jin in his dorm in Seoul and you in your apartement in your town, far away from him. So you have to improvise for now on, how you want to deal with longing emotions and urging sexual desires... 
► Strawberry Kiss  🌸💋 [♕-Reader]
Summary: It's Friday Afternoon and when Jin comes home from work, the freshly baked strawberry cake smells deliciously. But he decided that a taste of you is even sweeter, especially when you're not wearing any underwear underneath your thin summer dress...
► Birthday Gift [Seokjin x Reader x Jimin] 😈 [♔- Reader]
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►  Home  🌸🌧  [♕-Reader]
Summary: You finally managed to spend your two semesters abroad studying in Korea! However, after some unfortunate circumstances, you want nothing more than finally be able to fly home again. But your Roommate Namjoon has some ideas to make your year abroad still wonderful...  
► Precious  🌸💋 [♔- Reader]
Summary: Today is your birthday and because your last few weeks have been terribly stressful, you want nothing more than to be able to sleep in in your day off. However, Namjoon has to go to practice all day long, that’s why he has found a very gentle method of waking you up to unpack your presents together...   
► Disobedience ft. Hoseok 😈 [♔- Reader]
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► Business Trip 💋😈 [♔- Reader] 
Summary: It's a stressful life to be the CEO of a big and international known company. Always hopping onto the next flight to a new investor or business partner, all around the globus. But sometimes he can't fix his little problem alone, so you need to help him out with some naughty stuff through these rough times of his job~   ► Jar of Kinks 💋😈 [♔- Reader] 
This Two-Shot is based on my own Jars of Kinks. 
I identify myself as a Switch. That's the reason why I decided to write a Two-Shot to my "Jar of Kinks". So I'd be able to write both Dynamics, with Dom! Yoongi and Sub! Yoongi as well. In this Index you'll find the links to the Oneshots, combinded with their summary and their individual warnings. 
► Touched 💋😈 [♔- Reader]
Summary: This week was just so awful and shitty, every muscle in your body hurts and you're absolutely exhausted from this horror week. But Yoongi has an Idea to relax you and make you feel so loved in a way, that couldn't make thousands of compliments.
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►  Netflix and Chill  🌸🌞 [♕-Reader]
Summary: Hoseok and you are best friends, especially because you two share an unique passion for which you get sometimes quizzycally looks from others. Like every friday night you meet up to watch some series on Netflix together and massage and fondle the hair of each other. All the same, all innocent as ever. Until it comes to an certain situation and you realize the true meaning behind “Netflix and Chill” faster than you expected.   
► Disobedience ft. Namjoon 😈 [♔- Reader]  
► Little Swan  😈 [♔- Reader]
Sneak Peak: Laying open, completely helpless and so vulnerable in front of him. Presented like a meal on a silver tablet. His meal, his prey. Your wolf is starving, licking his lips with an animalistic and devilish smile at the sight of your parted pussy lips. Revealing his most desired things, this swollen and sensitive clit and this pretty tiny pussyhole. Clenching around nothing, literally begging to get filled with his fat cock and stuffed up with his cum until it’s leaking out of his little sweet swan...
► Mustang v8 💋🌞 [♔- Reader]  
Summary:  You kinda have a thing for the sound of the engine of a Mustang. How bad that Hoseok’s new car is a Mustang and that your Boyfriend looks super hot while driving!
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► Study Break  🌸💋 [♔- Reader]
Summary: College wants to kill you right now. Exam Phase and then you have to write a 20 page long scientific work! Jimin and you barely see each other, you gave yourself completely to your studies. Until some specific needs some attention again...   
 ► Poolside Kisses 🌸💋😈 [♔- Reader]
Summary: Jimin said, you should pack a swimsuit into your suitcase when you're going to visit him in Korea. You thought, you'll go bathing somewhere privately, maybe just with the boys or so... and not going to a pool party of one of Jimin's Idol friends where you'll not know anybody! Since then you hate yourself that you only brought your new bikini to Korea that reveals more of your bare skin that you're used to... 
► Mousse au Chocolat 💋 [♔- Reader]
Synopsis: You are Jimin’s favourite dessert...
► l’innocence indécente ft. Jungkook 💋 [♔- Reader]
► Birthday Gift [Seokjin x Reader x Jimin] 😈 [♔- Reader]
► Dirty little Secret  
Summary: Whenever you leave your apartement for work, you're carrying a dirty little secret to your workplace as well. To be more specific, you wear inconspicuous sex-toys underneath your business attire to keep your sex-craving libido under control. Nobody noticed something and everything went well... until now. Until your Boss and secret crush, Park Jimin, bursts into your office unannounced and hears something buzzing which definitely doesn't come from your phone. Even worse, he sees a certain remote-control laying on your desk that seems to be surprisingly familiar to him... 😈 [♔- Reader]
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► The Definition of Art  🌸💋 [♚-Reader]
Summary: You’re under Taehyung’s total mercy. Tied up, bare and trembling you lay spread out in front of your boyfriend who loves to turn you into his personal piece of art... 
► Deflowered 🌸💋🌧  [♔-Reader]
Summary: You're getting married tomorrow and you want to say goodbye to your mare. There you met the stable boy Taehyung for the last time, who's your best friend and childhood crush at the same time. You will experience a stormy night full of love and passion and you'll give the biggest proof of love to him...
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► The hands of a sinner 💋😈
(The Idea of this Fanfiction has two versions: for female and male readers!)
For her! [♔- Reader]
For him! [♚-Reader]
Summary: Since Jungkook got his hand tattoos, you’ve found out that they have a stronger effect on you than you would like it. You also have good reasons not to tell him that you are developing a kink for this tattoos. And these reasons getting confirmed... 
►  Goddess of the sun 💋 [♔- Reader]
Synopsis: Jungkook is the best servant for his Queen and Goddess 
► The walls 💋😈  [♔- Reader]
Synopsis: You don’t know why but today was the first Day you realized how buff and bulky Jungkook’s Biceps are. And the fact that they look delicious when they’re tensed up…
► l’innocence indécente ft. Jimin 💋 [♔- Reader]
► Der Geliebte  🌸 💋 [♔- Reader]
Summary: You and Jungkook met right at the first day you opened your own atelier in Seoul after you had to leave your old home behind you. You love paint canvas with landscape motives, other people just roll with their eyes when they hear that you choose such usual, almost boring things to paint. Not so Jungkook, he seems to be different than most of visitors. It’s almost like he can read your feelings through your paintings... 
 ► The laundry hamper  🌸 🌞 💋 😈 [♔- Reader] Summary: Jungkook has a crush on you since you moved together for college but the poor boy is way too shy to confess his feelings to you... rather he would search through your laundry hamper to get a shirt which smells after your very personal scent and tries to calm his racing heart... and other nerves. He didn’t thought to get catched by the person who already stole his whole heart in the most embarrassing situation...
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This is probably the most important information on this blog 💌  
Don't be shy around me!  
You can feel absolutely free to talk to me, to stuff my inbox (even when you just want to ramble or to fangirl etc.) and my PMs are always open too! So don't hesitate to get in contact with me, you're not awkward or weird, okay?💕💕  
I'm pretty curious about you guys too and Im always up to become mutuals or even friends, okay? 🤗  
Love you, Tipsy 💜
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 [Dates]
Published: 27th December 2019
Last Update: 10th August 2021
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1K notes · View notes
energyanon · 3 years
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I feel like it's the cool thing to do, you know to make fun of him right now and I just don't feel like it. I feel sad for him because though I obviously don't know what's going on bts I can't help but feel he isn't doing too good. The way he was behaving at the restaurant with Leah was just too much and felt like him playing the role of happy go lucky guy...
Also, in one of your readings you mentioned that the people behind him were kinda cold, not all but some and that's just sad so I'll keep my thoughts positive and hope he finds true happiness soon, whatever that may look like.
Here’s the thing: Henry can do better.
Bar none, he can do better. He’s choosing not to do any form of healing or internal work. He’s choosing to make silly decisions. He is 38, at some point he needs to stop being babied and held accountable, and that is where this started. Fans expected better, he failed to meet that, and the reaction was jarring to people. When you used to love something and the rose coloured glasses are taken off, it’s jarring, you’re going to be emotional about it. You’re going to be nasty, that’s how it works. You feel angry and embarassed at yourself for giving so much time to something that turned out to be false, and you need them to feel what you felt. Classic projection. I’m actually angry at ME for feeling, so im going to be angry at YOU for making me feel that way. I don’t think anyone think that it’s become “cool” per say to make fun of him, I believe that we’re community based creatures, and we’ll always go where the group goes. It’s not “cool” it’s just where everyone is at the moment. And to not follow the group is to be shunned. A couple of weeks ago I was on the tag, and there were anons hassling long time henry fans saying “are you leaving the fandom i cant believe you still like him blah blah”, and those people had to say either they’re taking a break cause they can’t handle it, or they agree and they’re leaving. And all of this is over NV of all people. But that's the thing is we see all these things that people aren't doing, comparing them to ourselves saying "I would never" but you also were raised in an entirely different environment and family. HC seems to believe that being silent is the best way to go, probably because he was raised that way. He made one call out post and got the reaction he got: guess what he’s now learnt to never do that again. What’s he going to reform back to now? Being silent. I don’t feel that the people around HC are a good influence. I do feel that that isn’t helping his mindset, and he is being dragged down by said people, but he’s also not taking responsibility to change that. A member of his FAMILY is apart of his work and personal life, and he apparently made a production company with charlie. That’s all kinds of triangulation that I dont even want to get started on, and there’s two reasons to get involved with family and thats either 1. You want to help THEM, or 2. they’re in your ear convincing you. It is never a good idea to mix family with work, ever. He doesn’t make good decisions, but I do feel that that’s also because he trusts the people in his ear too much, and they have become like a family to him. That’s hard to let go of. Its really difficult. I don’t know anyone who has an easy time breaking it off with a long time friend or family member, I know i’ve found it near impossible. But I think he’s very heavily influenced by these close connections because he doesn’t want to lose them. I understand that getting involved in the drama is fun, and I’ve been there for sure up until even two ays ago i was still there, but now that I understand that what he’s going through is also tough, i’ve also realised that I need to have more empathy for the guy outside of readings too. It’s not nice to be in the place that he is. Ive been there I get what kind of person it turns you into. And it’s a huge turning point in your life aswell, you either let it consume you or you do your best to break free. He’s at a crossroads, i’ve said it before. Lets hope he goes down the path that’s best for him. All in all, I think people have a right to be upset, they’ve invested alot of time into the guy and got nothing back. I also think with that post yesterday that he’s actually trying his best. I don’t think its easy for him to self reflect, he’s not going to apologise for NV, she is his companion for now, he’s got some serious issues surrounding being loved/lonely, he’s not going to do anything to make her leave until he’s ok with finding someone else, which i feel like he’s kind of given up on at the moment? But he’s also still trying to juggle all these things in his life and his own mental health and the constant judgement doesn’t make that better. When people are loved and supported they’re the best version of themselves, right now he’s not being loved or supported. In fact he’s being hated by thousands of people, that’s going to take a toll on you. But to me, idk what it is, but it feels like he’s trying to mend things to be the best of his ability. (And his ability is still pretty poor in execution, and to be fair him talking about fucking protien shakes is more boring than paint drying and he should absolutely be dragged for that 😆 ) But it feels like a positive move. The level that the dragging is being taken is starting to turn into something else, but this is also how people express themselves. You can be apart of it or not, the pages that allow it are a good venting system, and fans deserve to have that, but there aren’t many places for it to also just be understanding, so that’s what this page will be instead. (But once again, understanding isn’t creating excuses, and I won’t create excuses for him. He is still held accountable, but without the drag) Even with this all being said, he still needs to do better. I stand by that, and I think that’s what most of the fans are trying to say (they’re just a little big angrier than i am about it, and that’s ok) Anyway I’m doing part 2 today so we’ll see how it goes with Fans/the post etc
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Read Me - Chanyeol x Reader
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(I’ve never done a fic about a real person, so it feels a lil’ weird, but this very cute tree baby has absorbed all of my attention, so I wrote this little scene with him. I swear his laughing alone could cure my depression lol Anyhoo~ as always, Y/N=your name. I would love love love it if you enjoy the oneshot to let me know! Hopefully I’ve portrayed PCY in as realistic a way as possible [without knowing him personally and only watching videos, obvs.] I’m thinking of doing a long fic, maybe a CYO with all the members, like I usually do haha EXOXO, Bri)
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“Aishh! Wae wae wae…?”
You slanted your eyes up at the other side of the couch, your attention drawn away from the tablet resting in one hand. You placed your mug of tea down on the glass coffee table nearby, plush blanket slipping a little down your thighs. You leaned forward, elbows pressing against your knees, tablet discarded against the cushions. You spider-walked your fingers up your companion’s arm to get his attention, fingers catching on the bumpy texture of his big, cozy sweater. He turned his head in your direction, eyes wide and pillow lips shaped into a pout that would outdo a child’s. You had to stifle a laugh.
 “Did something bad happen to Yumi?” You sucked in your lips to hide a grin. He nodded vigorously, one hand clenched around his mobile while his fingernails lazily tickled across your legs—they were draped across his lap, after all. You reached forward to stop him, and his eyes popped again like he’d been caught with a hand in the cookie jar. His sheepish, apologetic smile melted you instantly. You scooted closer to him, running a hand up the back of his neck into his hair. His eyes closed at your touch.
“Babi is being frustrating again. I wish he could have courage to act on his interest in her. They are great for each other!” The pout returned, more petulant than ever. Giggles finally poured out of your mouth and you leaned against his shoulder as you felt the pang hit your stomach. When you were finally able to look at him again, you were still grinning.
 “But Yeolie, think about how much trouble you had asking me out! You’re the idol king of charm! Imagine how hard it must be for an awkward co-worker like him!”
“Aishh, don’t start with me, mean princess! Totally different situations!” He stuck out his tongue in protest. Your head fell back as more laughter bounced you in your seat. Even though he was clearly trying to feign offense, there was a starry twinkle of fondness in your boyfriend’s eyes as he watched your expression of amusement. He reached out and grabbed you by the chin, which halted your giggle fit. You looked at him sternly.
 “You know I don’t like when you call me that. I’m only teasing.” A blush sprinkled across your cheeks. He tugged you forward and pressed his soft mouth against your forehead, which only made you grow redder. His face drifted down until your foreheads were resting against each other. His warm breath fanned out over your face, rustling your eyelashes and your pulse. You opened your eyes and found his looking deep into your soul. It was kind of intense, like he was reading your thoughts that way. A smile tugged at the corner of your lips, and he returned it more brightly than the sun. He leaned back a little, still within breathing distance, forefinger tracing your collarbone tenderly. The smile faded back into the childish expression from before.
“I know. It’s just your nature to poke fun at me. You’re not mean princess anymore,” he closed his eyes again for a moment, nose wrinkling slightly at old thoughts, “Just my princess. I’m lucky. Mianhae.” He took your hand that was resting against him and kissed the inside of your wrist in sincere apology. Your heart thumped so loudly you could’ve sworn he’d hear it. You leaned forward and nuzzled your face into his neck; even sitting down he was taller than you, with a perfect long trunk to snuggle into. His arm slid from the top of the couch around your back, rubbing in a soothing rhythm.
 “Well, this princess is lucky to have a prince like you, and don’t you forget it. We roast each other all the time anyway. That’s our thing. What did you promise me?” A beat.
“We should always laugh together as much as possible. I remember, baby.” His fingers tangled in your hair and you smiled wide against his skin. He really was something else.
 “I hope I can always make you laugh, Chanyeol…the way you do for me. This probably sounds cheesy, but when I see you laughing, I feel like you’re not just some perfect being, from EXO planet, of course. You’re a real guy with real emotions and you find joy in things just like the rest of us regular folk. And your laughter is boundless! It seems like you could laugh for days without stopping and not be tired. I love it.” You chuckled through your nose, the image of Chanyeol rocking back and forth overtaken with laughter filling your headspace.
You felt your head tilt back again as he gently pulled on your hair to reorient your face to him. You blinked owlishly, lids sliding down halfway. His pout sank against yours, erasing anything from your thoughts and rooting you firmly in the moment. Your chest pressed against his side and his firm grip around your waist dragged you fully into his lap. His lips worked over yours at every angle while you wound your arms around his neck. After a few moments, his lips trailed down your jaw to your neck before his chin came to rest on your shoulder. You glanced down at him, a little disappointed that he’d stopped.
A little smirk curled up his lips, portending a quip or something similar.
“Y/N, you shouldn’t be distracting me on Webtoon Wednesday, neh?”
 “Me?! You’re the one who interrupted Amy’s dramatic exchange with her mom with your whining! Listen… I’ll show you a distraction, Park Seongnim!” You grumbled before rotating slightly in his lap and tackling him down against the sofa in one swift movement. You reached for the hands clasping you and drew them up, pinning them above his head. The surprise in his eyes dissolved into a look of lust. Noticing your tablet was slipping into the crack of the couch, you snatched it up with one hand and put it next to your forgotten mug. Turning back to Chanyeol, you slowly lowered your face to meet his. Spirit Fingers could wait. You were going to enjoy your real-life webtoon for a bit.
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(That’s the end! I was having so much trouble thinking of what nickname for the reader to call PCY. I watched this BTS of Chanyeol’s fragrance photoshoot for W Magazine where he’s obsessively reading Yumi’s Cells the whole time and, since I am also an avid purveyor of webtoons, I wanted to make up a scenario where he and his reader S.O. spend afternoons off from their busy schedule catching up on their reading together. Sometimes I like cute little fluffy moments that are more mundane haha Have you read any Webtoons? Sound off with your faves in the comments so I can add them to my queue!
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saladejin · 4 years
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Call An Uber? | 04
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BTS x Reader | idolverse au, uber driver!Reader, translator!Reader |  Fluff, flirting, super slow burn, angst and hurt/comfort, mature themes and eventual smut
Summary:  Your normal life with a normal, yet inconsistent job gets drastically changed when your dreams come true. Sounds boring right?
What happens when all of this occurs, but you’re still doing something you love AND getting a large sum for it? Now there’s something to think about, and it’s definitely not what you’re thinking.
Warnings: Implied mental health struggles, anxiety and slight panic attack
Word Count: 2.9k 
< masterpost >
  »»————- <<prev | next >> ————-««
  Another three days passing brought forth another fresh steaming pile of emotions. 
I was due to start my job at Bighit in the following week, and had been dropping in to meet with Bang PD and the staff regularly since the initial signing of the documents. Its only purpose was just for me to get to know everyone, since I would start off in the company playing a major role, and for me to get comfortable in the environment. PD-nim knew I was not used to working for such large and renowned companies, and I was so happy he had taken that into consideration.
Another meet-and-greet done today, and I was trembling. 
I didn’t know why it had all suddenly decided to drop on me now, but my only solace was the splash of vivid crimson sitting out in the otherwise monochrome carpark of the building. I yanked open the car door with shaking fingers and all but fell into the familiar leather seat, my breathing uneven from the tightening within my chest.
Don’t get me wrong at all, the company was absolutely amazing, and so were all the staff and their immediate hospitality. Bang PD was like a second father to me already, and I’d even had him ruffle my hair once today after he’d somehow managed to laugh at one of my jokes. His assistant, which I now knew as Chang Soojin, or just Soojin-unni as she had told me to use, was becoming a reliable colleague and friend pretty quickly too. I had met many members of the staff, including the co-ordi noonas, managers, stylists etc. Even a group of interpreters who specialised in specific languages.
Hence why they employed me so quickly, I’d thought to myself after finding out they only knew English and Korean.
There was that one Spanish interpreter, who had been absent on the ‘fateful day’, but he was now doing fine and had profusely apologised to me afterwards. I felt bad for the guy, as I probably seemed like a warning replacement if anything of disarray was to happen again.
Bighit can be bloody scary, damn.
My breathing had evened slightly, but stress was still causing my head to become a mess of jagged scribbles. So much had changed in my life recently, and even if it had an overall positive effect, my mind was still left reeling. This was the kind of sudden responsibility that made me want to revisit my childhood days, to let go of being an adult and to be surrounded by nothing but carefree bliss.
A light rapping on my car passenger window tore me from my strangling thoughts. I gasped, squinting my eyes to glimpse at the darkly clothed figure before sighing. The person had thoroughly frightened me, and I wasn’t very happy about it. They crouched down to look in, and when they saw I was making no move to stop them, they pulled open the passenger door hesitantly.
“Is this Uber operating?” Yoongi softly asked.
I was still irritated that my precious alone-time had been ruined, after going through quite a bit of anxiety about my life in general, but I couldn’t bring myself to refuse the impassive man at the moment. After even more thought, I concluded that having someone to talk to would in fact help me the most right now. When I nodded slowly, sighing again in an attempt to regather myself, he lowered his head in gentle understanding.
“Uh, if it’s a really bad time I-”
“No, Yoongi. Wait is it even okay to not use honorifics? Should I call you oppa?” I shook my head, my voice steadily gaining life again from how croaky it sounded before. I hadn’t cried, but I was definitely on the verge before he’d made his appearance.
Yoongi settled into the passenger seat holding a lidded coffee cup. He was dressed in dark but flowy clothing, and I questioned his sanity briefly considering how hot it was outside. It was mid-afternoon at the moment, but we both didn’t seem to have schedules planned.
“Even though I’m not against it, I feel like dropping the honorifics would work better for you. I won’t get offended,” he hummed, sipping his coffee. I noticed how tired his eyes were under the cap he wore, and instantly felt bad for being annoyed with him before. He adorned a black mask too, but it was sitting under his chin to make talking and drinking easier.
“Did you also want coffee? I could offer to get you one.”
His sudden question caused me to blink in confusion. Then I realised I had been eyeing the cup in his pale hands quite intensely. His dark eyes were blank and his pale blue-white hair was slightly roughened from the breeze outside. Trying not to fawn over him, I broke out into a strained chuckle while my hands came up to slap my cheeks in embarrassment.
“No no no, I wasn’t…Ah I’m sorry, I just have a lot going on at the moment.” I decided to let the cat out of the bag with another sigh. He may as well know what was going on behind my outwardly apparent emotions. I didn’t even know how I was meant to hold a decent conversation when my insides were such a nervous wreck. I knew I would build myself up again eventually, but he just happened to catch me at a vulnerable time.
“Yeah, I could tell,” he started. “I followed you out because I saw you running out here shaking like a leaf. I guess it sounds kind of creepy when put like that.” He shrugged, eyeing the dashboard of my car while I just tried to take in his quiet observation.
“No, actually I appreciate it. You haven’t even met me yet…ugh why am I doing everything backwards right now?” I rested my head onto the steering wheel, positively exasperated. Yoongi and I had never even held a conversation before, but here I was acting like a total idiot and making him worry about my mental health.
“Don’t worry about it, you’re all I hear about these days.” He sighs with a groan, letting his head roll back to rest against the leather headrest. My own curiosity was tickled.
“Really? Let me guess, ‘the crazy Uber chick who somehow managed to get herself involved with shit that didn’t concern her’?”
He laughed silently at that, the gummy smile melting my bundling insides into a puddle – and suddenly everything was alright.
I didn’t have to have everything in my life figured out right now, I just had to make the most of my time with these amazingly driven individuals who had undoubtedly captured my heart. Alongside this job which was actually my passion to begin with.
I didn’t even know how I hadn’t freaked out over the fact that the Min Yoongi, worldwide famous producer and rapper, was sitting in my car. He was sitting in the same seat the Park Jimin had sat in about a week and a half ago. I needed to shut down my brain before it began to burn a hole into the back of my skull from overworking.
“That would be funny, but no, definitely not. I just wish the young ones would let me sleep, but they’ve been excited. I swear I’ve already met you ten times at this point.”
I snort in amusement, absolutely loving how blunt he was about the whole situation. Too many people, since I had arrived in the country, were overbearingly polite and careful with their words. I was not used to it at all, and it made the ‘foreign’ experience all the more jarring. Yoongi probably understood this to an extent, so I was grateful he tried his best to be more casual right away.
“Look, can I start driving? I just need to clear my head a bit. Maybe I can introduce myself properly.” I exhaled loudly, my nerves significantly calmed since chatting a little. Even though I felt terrible at the thought, I couldn’t help but be grateful that it was Yoongi who had paid me a surprise visit instead of one of the others. His presence was somewhat reserved and I had trouble reading the guy half the time, but his company was the type I needed instead of something loud and overwhelming.
“Sure, I did kind of barge in so you can continue with whatever you were doing.”
You mean almost having a mental breakdown?
“But I do want to actually meet you, because if I have to hear your name around the dorm one more fucking time without knowing who you are, I may just snap.”
I laughed loudly, his grunt-worthy words causing amusement to roil around in my chest. I figured I would question him about exactly what was said a bit later. For now, I just needed to relax and ease my worries, and driving was my channel for exactly that. I started reversing out of the carpark with silence finally befalling the car, grateful to finally leave behind the line of black company vans surrounding me. I found it ominous if I was completely honest. Engulfed by the view of several identical black vans was a little unsettling when the only car I was used to was Red.
When did I even decide to name my car? It’s such a boring name too.
“Well, I can start by saying my name is (L/n) (Y/n). (Y/n) is fine, and you already known I don’t care for honorifics. I’m from (Y/c), and I landed a job at Bighit Entertainment by letting two of your band members hitch a ride. Ultimately escaping their foreseeable deaths.” My dramatic tone increased the longer I spoke, and I could see the corners of Yoongi’s lips turning up gradually.
“That sounds about right. Jiminie told me you were a big fan, but it turns out you are really collected when you see us. I appreciate your efforts, but feel free to let it out if you need.” He tilted his head with a smirk, his ‘Genius Suga’ persona surfacing within the span of two whole seconds. I just bit my lip to contain another amused giggle.
“Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I’m not one to freak out after the initial shock. Most of my extra-ness is of the internal type, I’m afraid.”
He shook his head in mock disappointment, eventually flashing me that endearing expression where his lips stretched across his whole face. I covered my cheeks with one hand to stop my bubbling amusement from erupting.
“Stop please, or I’ll crash!”
He simply sipped his coffee, smirking again at my reaction. I knew I hadn’t actually doused his ego, but his antics still aided in lifting my spirits higher and higher. As I tried to figure out where I wanted to drive, Yoongi pulled out a small notepad full of scrawled notes and scribbled out lines.
“Well, you already know who I am, that much I can guess. Now that we’ve met, I can tell those kids to shut up and do something useful,” he continued. Even though his tone was full of complaint, I knew he loved every single one of those boys wholeheartedly.
“Where are they now?” I asked through a smile, glancing down as the rapper flicked through his notepad to the page he had last used. “Practicing more, at least I know Jiminie, Jin-hyung and Jungkook-ah are. We’ve got a big concert and a comeback soon, so everyone is riled up.”
“Yeah, that seems like a packed schedule for at least a few months. I’m really excited for what you guys have in store though, it seems too unreal that I actually get to see everything behind the scenes for the first time in my life,” I sighed out in awe, thinking about a possible new album and new content. How could I even go about it normally when everything was different? Wait, was I going to get a discounted album? I surely hoped so.
Yoongi looked at me carefully before making a few notes in his notepad, his fingers working the pen deftly through long and hardened experience. His ripped black jeans were tighter than I initially thought they were, but my attention only went there because he was tapping his foot rhythmically as he wrote.
“Lyrics?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow in his direction and diverting my attention. I drove towards the outskirts of Seoul, hoping to find somewhere quiet and peaceful to settle for a bit. The time had essentially flown by, but I was sure the sky wouldn’t darken just yet.
“Yeah, just the usual. I help write a lot of songs, and lyrics always just flood into my brain at the most random times, you know?” he murmured, flicking backwards to another page and filling in another empty space.
The realisation that I was driving somewhere random and unknown hit me suddenly, and I briefly wondered if taking Yoongi with me would end up costing me my job all too soon. I was quickly reminded of a similar occurrence with two maknaes, one that caused the managers and Namjoon to lose their absolute marbles.
“Um, I was gonna drive randomly around the area, but I just realised that your managers would skin me alive if they knew I took you with me. Does anyone know you’re with me?”
Yoongi looked up, his eyes, which were once laser-focused on his lyrics, now scoured into my own and I gulped suddenly. His long, dark eyelashes were always beautiful, but they were even more mesmerising in person and this close. They contrasted so nicely against his milky skin that I almost lost focus on the road again.
I may just crash and kill someone one of these days. Customer or not.
“I texted a few people,” was all he said before returning to his notepad, and I shrugged indifferently. He was an adult, and he could make his own decisions. I just hoped I didn’t cop any roastings for it later on.
“Would I be able to show you something?” he then asked.
I glanced sideways, catching him picking at his nails with his teeth apprehensively. It seemed he was stuck on something to do with a lyric, but I didn’t know how I could possibly lend a hand. His lyrics were always so impactful and flowed so nicely. How could I form my own opinion when everything I’d heard from him so far was nothing less than beautiful?
“Yeah? Did you need another perspective?” I probed, willing my feelings of disbelief down into the depths of my subconscious.
“Well, I’m trying to tie together my verse in one of the new songs, and I almost have it. I want someone fresh to have a look.” He held out the pad and I pulled over onto the side of the smaller road. We were now definitely nearing the more ‘picturesque’ side of Seoul anyway, and the city fell away behind us as my eyes scanned over Yoongi’s handwriting. The last line struck a chord deeply within me.
“This is real you, and this is real me” – which one is “you”? Which one is “me”?
“Wow, this really hits hard,” I breathe, reading over the snippets of the verse he had written again to fully absorb what was going on. The whole thing was emotional, and raw. I could imagine his voice rapping hard to form these thoughts, the angry and hurt emotions seeping in.
“I can feel the struggle through the lyrics. It’s like you’ve been through a false love that you threw yourself into after believing it was true...a betrayal of sorts, I guess?” I met his eyes again and grew a little confused when a chuckle of irony fell from him. It must have been some joke I didn’t understand.
“I’m glad you feel so much from it.” He blinked. “I’m actually going to try a different technique with this track, so expect some changes from my usual style.”
He then smiled again, taking the notepad before I could catch any glimpses of the other notes. I couldn’t contain a soft huff of annoyance. “You’re not just gonna tell me?”
He deadpanned before parting his lips to respond. “Just because you work for Bighit doesn’t mean you get every special privilege.” I almost reeled at the thought of bothering him with my question, but he only smiled again while tucking his notepad away.
“Plus, you’re a fan, so my goal is to keep it a secret for as long as possible.”
“Mean,” I grunted, pulling out onto the road again so I could start to head home. The sky was darkening, and I knew there were only so many boundaries I could push before I crossed the line. Yoongi seemed to know this too, but he avoided addressing the subject for some reason.
“Where do you want to be dropped? I’ll have you know I’ve been charging you handsomely for this Uber service,” I muttered, still pretending to be pissed off at him for hiding information.
“I’ll buy you a coffee next time, I promise.”
          Copyright © 2020 by salade. All rights reserved
tagged: @l4life​, @joyful-jimin​
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insfiringyou · 4 years
Text
BTS - Home Again (J-Hope x Nana)
Hoseok and Nana spend an evening together following his discharge from the military, reflecting on the events a week prior at a group dinner and on their love for one another.
This fic is set about a week later after ‘A Reunion’, where Jeong-Sun (Suga’s girlfriend) is introduced to the whole group for the first time. There are mentions of events relevant to the fic that may not make sense if you haven’t read it.  Mentions also of Young-Soon, Min-Seo and Jeong-Sun within.
Contains: Fluff and brief mentions of sex.
You can find out more about our headcanon universe and ongoing storyline here and more about our headcanon girlfriends here.
To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook & our full masterlist can be found here
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Content below the cut
Slipping his phone back into his pocket, Hoseok turned the key and silenced the engine. Despite her insistence that she would only be a few minutes, it had been several, and he wondered what kind of errand his girlfriend had suddenly had to do in this part of town. He had thought at first that she had mixed up her class’ assignments, before remembering that her bag was sat in the backseat and had been noticeably lighter than usual. She had asked him to come up to the third floor without explanation; his worry vanishing at once when Nana’s distinct, squeaky laugh echoed from down the hall along with one that was soft and familiar. 
“Hi, Hoseok.” Young-Soon regarded him warmly as he approached, her bare face glowing with amusement. Her dark hair was tied in a messy braid over one shoulder, and she clutched her loose cardigan to her waist. She had clearly been enjoying a day off, looking vastly more comfortable in her casual home attire than she had a week earlier at the restaurant. The chemical smell of lemon cleaning products drifted from the open door of her apartment. 
“Oh, I didn’t realise you lived here! Wow, there’s a lot of stairs.” 
“I’m sorry, the elevator is usually out of order…” She smiled, eyes flickering mischievously back to the taller woman.
“She was just telling me about how they caught some teenagers jamming the doors yesterday.” Nana grinned, squeezing her boyfriend’s fingers as they curled automatically around her own.
“Yeah. Apparently it’s a hot make-out spot.” She smirked. “I could hear the boy’s mother yelling at him from across the building when the engineer finally managed to open them. I don’t think she approves of his girlfriend very much.”
“Kids always find a way around their parent’s rules…” Nana sighed knowingly. “It’s usually better to just let them lose interest on their own.”
“Much less fun that way, though.” Young-soon grinned, and Nana giggled in response. Hoseok smiled, a little nonplussed, at the two. The conversation had clearly lost him, though it was apparent now why she had been taking so long. 
“Anyway, I have them here …are you sure you can manage?” 
She nodded in response, her auburn curls springing forward as she reached for the smaller of the two boxes, resting it against her hip. “Can you take the other one?”
“What is it?” Hoseok eyed it with suspicion, the weight surprising him as he picked it up. “Where’s JK?” He asked, with a raised eyebrow.
“He pulled a muscle. He’s sleeping it off.”
“How did he do that?”
She apparently didn’t hear, but met the other woman’s eyes with an impish look that said otherwise. A pink blush had crept up on her cheeks; Nana returned her shy smile, hoping that she hadn’t been a nuisance in dropping by unannounced. 
She pressed on. “Are you sure you don’t want anything for them? I feel kind of bad just taking them without paying you.”
“I’ve been trying to get rid of them for ages.” Young-soon answered dismissively, toying with the end of her braid. “There’s only so many times you can give your friends a candle for their birthday or Christmas before it becomes embarrassing.”
“Thanks, I really appreciate it. We’re going to head off now.”
“Bye Young-Soon! Take care of Jungkook.”
“Of course. See you later.”
    *
“Please be careful,” Nana pleaded, shutting the front door awkwardly behind herself. There was a soft tinkle as she dropped her keys into the dish on the console table beside her.
“I’m trying.” He steadied himself, edging a little more cautiously through the narrow hall, having almost tripped over an umbrella. She nudged it aside with her foot, knowing he was likely to trip over it again later. He had to duck to avoid the overhanging leaves above his head. “Your tree got so big.” 
“It’s a Yucca. I’ve been meaning to trim him down a little bit but it seems a shame. He’s got beautiful leaves.”
“It’s a he?” Hoseok asked with amusement as he edged into the kitchen and set the box with a relieved sigh on the nearest, slightly rickety chair.
“Don’t worry. You don’t need to be jealous.”
Nana set her own box down and opened it up, searching through the meticulously bubble wrapped contents, extricating a large glass jar filled with pink fragrant wax. She uncapped the lid with a satisfying pop, inhaling the sweet scent of peony. Hoseok frowned slightly in bemusement; he wondered whether the recent stormy weather had been causing power cuts in her neighbourhood too. “What are you going to do with these?”
“Plant them.” Nana replied dryly, capping it once again. “There should be some space under the sink.” 
“Are you sure? It seems full to me.” 
“I’ve been meaning to make some jam…” She muttered in weak explanation, eyeing the open cabinet.    
“There’s enough jars here for the entire of Seoul.” He teased, lips curling with incredulity.
“Don’t exaggerate Hobi, it’s not that many.” She said softly, getting to her knees as she started to rearrange the haphazardly stacked glass. Hoseok leant back against the table, equally impressed and surprised that she had somehow been able to fit the contents of the smaller box in the space. It seemed she had admitted defeat on the larger, pushing the chair more snugly against the table. 
“Maybe I should make some for Young-Soon, since she gave me all these.” Nana mused,tucking her hair back behind her ears. It’d been years since she’d made jam, but she thought she could remember how. Her father had a habit of buying too much fruit from the market back in Gwangju, which they’d have to find creative ways to use.  “And maybe Min-Seo might like some…she mentioned she’s been craving sweet things.”
“I think she’d like that. I just can’t believe they’re going to be parents.” 
“Me neither. I can tell they’ll be great though. ”The younger woman had looked both overjoyed and embarrassed following the announcement shortly after dessert. Her voice had wavered slightly as she looked to her husband, Jin’s own expression soft with pride as he finished the sentence she had been struggling to say. Nana had hugged them both as they left for their taxi, Min-Seo thanking her with a shy, but delighted smile as she drew away from the sharp edge of her collar bone. 
She flicked on the kettle, selecting a few empty marmalade jars as she began to stack them on the side. “I thought so ever since their wedding.” 
Hoseok’s eyes followed her lovingly as she moved about, searching for a clean tea towel. “Did you like Jeong-Sun?”
“She seems really nice. It’s good to see Yoongi with someone.” Nana smiled, pouring boiling water in each jar before drying them thoroughly and laying them upside down on the draining board. The couple had visited the older member’s apartment a few times together prior to his enlistment, and it had always struck her how eerily empty and un-lived in it had felt. Bachelor life hadn’t seemed to suit Yoongi, and she hoped sincerely that he was happier now. “Do you think I should make some for her too?”
 Hoseok cocked his head. “Will there be enough?”
“As long as it doesn’t burn.” She confirmed, eyeing up the various cartons of purple and scarlet berries in the fridge. “I only have enough fruit and sugar for four at most…”
“Can I help you make it?” Her boyfriend was already hovering closely behind her as she chopped up strawberries and plopped them into the pan. She twisted the hob to a low temperature, handing him a wooden spoon, caressing his hand deliberately as she did so.
“You can stir, if you like.” 
Hoseok was attentive as the concoction reduced slowly to a lumpy, burgundy pool, allowing Nana to edge around him to find ribbon and attach labels. Her heart swelled unexpectedly in the comfortable silence between them, wondering what kind of good deed she had committed in her past life to have found him. The past week since his discharge had been a blur of overslept alarms, tangled curls and forgotten suppers. It’d all passed in a frantic haze, and she couldn’t help but appreciate the simple happiness she felt now in just knowing he was close by. 
Tenderly, she snaked her arms around him, resting her cheek into the crook of his neck as he stirred. His cologne reminded her of lemongrass and potted herbs after the rain, his body slender and long to match her own. He shifted against her, his lips tugging into a smile as he reciprocated, pressing his cheek against hers. The absence of his hair tickling her skin still felt strange.
“I really missed having you around, Hoseok.” Nana whispered quietly, her voice tinged with emotion. He gently entwined his fingers around her own with his free hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. 
“It was really hard…” he admitted, and she knew that he too was thinking about how much he had missed her. Their moments of bliss when he was able to visit had always seemed far too brief. Already short, they had been cut even shorter by her commitments at work, leaving a sunken, aching feeling in her chest whenever he had to leave.
 “I realised how much I love you. “ She continued. “And that I want to be with you for as long as I can.”
 His eyes found hers, and she wasn’t surprised to see them wet at the corners. “Me too, Nana.”
They both turned into each other, their lips coming together. He sank into her touch as she ran a hand to his shoulder and lovingly brushed the prickly patch of hair behind his ear. His breath was warm and inviting, their kiss unbroken as both hands grasped desperately at her waist. The forgotten jam bubbled slowly, and Nana felt for the knob on the stove, awkwardly twisting it as the sickly sweet smell of it boiled up.
“Oh, shit..” Hoseok whispered, remembering the saucepan as he pulled back slightly, giving it a token stir once more.
She grinned, her face hot as she moved it to the back burner. “I think it’s done, anyway.”
“Phew.” He exhaled in obvious relief. He pulled her close once again, their hips pressed together, and she could feel that he was already hard beneath his sweatpants.
“Hoseok...” Nana breathed. “Take me to bed.”
***
Thank you for reading. To read each member & their girlfriend’s headcanon universe fics in order, follow the links here: RM   /   Jin /   Suga  /   J-Hope   /   Jimin   /   V   /   Jungkook
& Our full masterlist can be found here
You can support us by buying admins a coffee here (if you wish). :)
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thebiasrekkers · 4 years
Text
Sincerely, Yours - JJK
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For the @btswriterscorner​ - Amor Fabula Launch Project in celebration of the month of Valentine’s Day!
Plot: Jeon Jungkook hails from humble origins, his family ranked as Laborers. Since he is the youngest of three children, his time for the lottery has not come. But when it does, he refuses to conform to society’s system and runs away. Disowned, he’s now become a fugitive, taking on odd jobs here and there as a “runner-for-hire”. What he doesn’t realize is that he will find love in the most unexpected place.
Rating: PG-13 // SFW
Genre: dystopian!au/dystopian themes | angst | romance/fluff
Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Female OC (Nikita Meyers)
Warnings: Strong language, vandalism, violence, interracial/intercultural relationship
Links: FAQ || BTS Masterlist || Admin E’s AO3 || [ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ]
Word Count: 7,607
AN: This is the companion piece to my first story, Touch In The Dark. This is the “rebel” view of what transpires in the world that I built. In all honesty, I think I may like the MYG version a little more, but I think it’s mostly from my love of hurting my own feelings. I still had a lot of fun with this one and I hope you all enjoy it. Writing for Jungkookis is always a good time. All reblogs, critiques/reviews, comments and affection are accepted! Happy reading!
© thebiasrekkers (Admin E). All rights reserved. Reposting/modifying our work is prohibited. Translations are not allowed. Plagiarism/stealing is not tolerated by any means. Legal action will be taken in instances of theft.
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~ j.j. ~
Jungkook swung his legs back and forth as he sat on the edge of a nearby building. He whistled a tune to himself, a song from a life he could barely remember these days. A former Laborer, now turned Runner, Jungkook could say that he left a life that he knew wasn’t meant for him. The Class system was such a bogus way to create order and balance in the world. The Blue Bloods stayed in the upper tier and those born in poverty or with lesser means were meant to work for the rest of their days. Throw in The Lottery Bill and that was just the cherry on top of a fucked up sundae.
A soft breeze pushed against his form as he watched the sky transform into a mesh of warm colors: pinks, purples, oranges and yellows. The sun was starting to set and the world’s light would dim, blanketed by the cobalt sky littered with the few stars he was only allowed to see as he ran from rooftop to rooftop. Running free, no longer tethered to the rules of the world that dared to shackle him to a life of meaninglessness.
His phone vibrated in his pocket. Pulling it out, he scrolled through the messages and noticed the priority one at the very top. Brushing his fingers through his hair, he sighed quietly as he glanced over the message. His newest client was scheduled to meet him in an hour. It was a standard escort job. It wouldn’t be too hard and the pay was decent.
In their society, it was a crime to “fall in love” with anyone. Period. Not even the spouse that was chosen during an individual’s Lottery drawing. Love fueled emotions that often led to the ruins of others. Passion had the potential to overshadow logic and reason. When logic and reason were cast aside, only terrible things happened. Emotions were just bad things and led to bad times.
Jungkook didn’t buy into that horseshit.
It was the main reason he abandoned his station in life and lived in the moment. He didn’t worry about yesterday. He could care less about tomorrow. Today was all that mattered and all that would matter when it was finally said and done. 
He slid his thumb over the screen, dialing the number of his new “job” detail. The man answered quickly, interrupting the second ring. 
“Is this Jeon Jungkook?”
Jungkook smirked at the hushed tone in the man’s voice. “It is. Is this Min Yoongi?”
“Yes,” he replied softly, as if trying to gauge Jungkook’s own tone, “were you able to secure safe passage for both my wife and me?”
Clambering to his feet, he dusted off the backs of his weathered jeans and knocked a bit of dirt off his boots. “That’s not my area of expertise, I’m afraid. That was taken care of by a different handler.”
He knew he was being a little shit, but sometimes it was all about asking the right questions.
There was a semi-long pause from the other end of the line, followed by a slow sigh of what could be presumed as mounting exasperation. 
“So why was I directed to you?”
Jungkook’s grin grew a little wider. “Because I’m the one who’s going to get you out in one piece.”
“I see,” Yoongi said, as if he was mulling over something, “so you’re a Runner.”
It wasn’t a question.
“That’s right.”
“I just hope you’re as fast as that mouth of yours.”
He couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. “I’m faster, trust me.” Pushing back the sleeve of his jacket, he spied the time. “I’ll meet you at the Square in half an hour. Don’t be late.”
And without waiting for a reply, Jungkook ended the call. Pulling out his earbuds, he connected the jack to the phone and slipped the buds on. It didn’t take him long to find the song he wanted, cranking up the volume as the intro crescendoed slowly. Inhaling lungfuls of air, he stretched his arms out wide and then raised them up so they were parallel with his head. Once he loosened up the muscles, he rolled his neck and hopped up and down - shaking his arms for good measure. 
He always had to psyche himself up for things like this.
As soon as the balls of his feet hit the ground, Jungkook lunged forward. Up and over the edge of the roof. The world rushed by him in a blur of motion, his dark hair flying off his forehead. The night was cool, but the wind stung his eyes - making them water. He quickly wiped at them, curling his body inward and then extending his limbs. The concrete scraped at the pads of his fingers, but it didn’t take him long to realign his body, forcing his lower half to swing off to the side so that he could catch the railing of the fire escape. 
The bars rattled violently when his heels planted themselves onto the platform, but he was already climbing up the bars to reach the next rooftop. Once Jungkook made it over the edge, his legs pumped the ground in tandem with his heavily beating heart.
Unconsciously, his mouth spread into a wide open smile.
Free-running. They couldn’t have called it something better if they tried.
Sweat broke out across his brow and the pulse of the song’s bass seemed to reverberate throughout his entire body. With every jump, lunge, catch and pull he performed, Jungkook’s elation only seemed to climb. It would be too soon if he could never run as free as he was now.
Heaving and halfway covered in perspiration, Jungkook arrived at the designated meeting spot within fifteen minutes. It gave him just enough time to grab a bottle of water from a nearby vending machine, emptying half the contents over his head and soaking his hair. Onlookers peered at him curiously, but he didn’t pay them any attention. He almost never did. He drained what was left in the bottle, savoring the feeling of re-hydrating himself.
Craning his neck, he located a nearby waste bin and was about to toss the bottle into it - arms stretched like he was shooting a basketball into a hoop. 
He stumbled forward suddenly, his body pushed forward from an unexpected impact. Grunting, he quickly pivoted on his heels to see who was responsible, but all he caught sight of was a ball cap flying in his line of sight as auburn curls flew past him. Jungkook reached out and snatched the hat out of the air as the owner turned to catch a glimpse of him. 
Her dark gray eyes glared at him, catching Jungkook off guard. Despite living in South Korea, Jungkook was used to foreigners. But he certainly didn’t remember seeing someone with those eyes and soft caramel skin. Her hair looked dyed, but it strangely suited her.
Jungkook took a step forward, holding her hat out to her. Instead of taking it back, she continued to shift her gaze from him and then to the hat. He grinned.
“Not even a thank you, huh? You don’t want this back?” He waved the cap back and forth, as though he were trying to keep a cat’s attention on him. “Is this mine now?”
He hadn’t seen her move. In fact, he didn’t even realize she’d closed what small distance existed between them. Not until Jungkook felt a soft burst of pain near his stomach. The wind was knocked from him almost immediately and all he could manage was a wide-eyed stare at her.
She grinned, twisting her fist into his stomach a little more. “Not a chance, you fucking tool,” replied the girl.
Jungkook collapsed to one knee when she took a step back, her hat not back in her possession. He struggled to reclaim what air was stolen from him, one dark brown eye glaring up at her. Not to say that women were weak, but he hadn’t expected a punch from a pretty girl to hurt this much. 
Hopping back on one foot, she waved the hat at him in a farewell gesture before sliding it back onto her head. She turned and bolted from the square without so much as a second glance at him. He coughed, rubbing at his chest in an attempt to regulate his breathing again.
Wow, what a bitch, he thought, but Jungkook found himself smirking once the pain subsided.
Maybe he was a glutton for punishment.
“Are you alright?”
The voice jarred him from his thoughts and he quickly scrambled to his feet. He was face to face with his temporary charge, Min Yoongi. Standing beside him was a woman with dark brown curls, hazel eyes, and mocha skin. She peered at Jungkook curiously, her hand laced through Yoongi’s. She was also a foreigner from what he could tell, and well-known through the news as the “Charity Selection” picked from The Lottery two years ago.
He folded his arms across his chest. “This might be a little difficult.”
Yoongi lofted a brow. “And why is that?”
“Well,” Jungkook began, taking a few steps toward them before circling around both of them, “your wife’s kinda popular.”
The older man narrowed his eyes. “So you’re not going to be able to help us?”
“I didn’t say that.” He held a hand up and then waved it through the air, as if shooing away a gnat. “I just said that it’ll be a little difficult. Not impossible.” Jungkook met their gazes and grinned. “I got this. Trust me.”
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~ n.m. ~
“Nikita, that was reckless.”
Removing the baseball cap, she roughly ran her fingers through her curls while scoffing. She carelessly tossed the parcel onto the table. “What does it matter? I got you what you asked for.”
The man seated at the table steepled his fingers, dark eyes peering over his knuckles at her. Nikita waited for him to say something, but he merely sighed and began to untie the twine wrapped around the brown paper packaging. It was his way of dismissing her, but letting Nikita know that she wasn’t completely off the hook. He’d find a way to pay her back and it wouldn’t be pretty.
She knew this because it wouldn’t be the first time.
Not wanting to press her luck, Nikita quickly vacated the office and closed the door behind her. She rested her shoulder against the door frame, mentally kicking herself for what she’d said. She knew she didn’t mean it, and yet she continued to come off as cold and unfeeling in these situations. Nikita was about to slam her head into the door when someone suddenly cleared their throat beside her. 
“Keep it up and you’re going to put Minjae Hyung into an early grave.”
Craning her neck, she cut her eyes at the shaggy-haired individual - his shit-eating grin never failing to irritate her. 
“Shut-up, Taegi-ah,” she snipped, walking past him. Predictably, he followed but Nikita ignored him, focusing her attention on the warehouse.
“Aw, don’t be like that, Nikki-ah,” he whined at her back. 
She rolled her eyes. Nikita hated that nickname and he knew it. She also knew that he didn’t care that she hated it. 
Because that was the kind of person Yoon Taegi was. 
A pain in her goddamn ass.
But she couldn’t hold it against him. Because he was the one who helped her break the chains the world decided to put on her the day she was born. Without him, she knew she would still be living the life of a woefully ignorant aristocrat - blind to the truth of society’s agenda. Nikita lived in a castle made of glass and didn’t understand her purpose outside of being a breeding agent for some future husband she would never be able to relate to.
When the day came for her to be matched with her significant other, Nikita was ready to accept that lot in her life. She was prepared to walk down the path that she was groomed for. What reason did she have to believe otherwise; to be aware that there was something else beyond the veil?
The truth wasn’t known to her until she saw a couple being arrested on the streets - cuffed and pulled away from each other. They screamed until their throats were raw, and then continued yelling for each other. They managed to share one final kiss until each were thrown into separate police cars and driven away to be incarcerated.
Their fates were declared on international television.
Taegi was the man she’d seen carted away and three months later, he broke out of prison. As punishment, the woman he loved was put to death. It was their attempt to shatter his spirit, to break him. 
They failed.
Sighing, she looked at Taegi’s smug expression and couldn’t help marveling at how far they’d come. A loaf of bread, cheese and meat was all it took to barter for the truth. Taegi gave it to her and Nikita knew she could never go back to her life of privilege. Not if there were people she could help in the process. It didn’t take her long to find herself pulled into Rebel circles - all of them graciously accepting her into their fold.
hree years passed since then and Nikita didn’t regret leaving her family or her “duty” behind. She was free and she was fighting for a cause that meant something. Even if she’d never experienced it for herself.
Love.
Sliding the metal door aside, Nikita stepped into the warehouse. The smell of gunpowder and kerosene instantly filled her nostrils - causing her eyes to water slightly. She quickly wiped at them and sniffed, fishing through a crate on a nearby table. Her hands stilled momentarily as she felt Taegi’s palms slip over her shoulders. He squeezed them gently and she sighed, hanging her head a measure as her eyes stared into the box of homemade pipe bombs and hand grenades.
“Sometimes I worry that the fighting is never going to end,” Nikita said softly.
Taegi rubbed her shoulders in a comforting motion before moving away from her to lean against the table. He folded his arms across his chest, his face lifting to the ceiling. “It’ll stop one day. We just have to stand strong and in solidarity.”
Nikita shrugged, pulling out a few pipe bombs. “I just hope we’re around long enough to see it.”
She checked the fuses, gauging their length, before placing them back in the box. She set one hand grenade out, flicking a finger over the pull pin. After making sure that it was secure, she dropped it into her messenger bag and moved to the next crate. It contained knives of varying shapes and sizes. She opted for a switchblade of decent length, slipping it into her back pocket.
Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Pulling it out, she scanned the message on her screen. It was from Minjae, as expected. He was sending her on another assignment. There was another potential ally they could have on their side versus running amok on the streets.
Turning to move to another table, she felt Taegi’s hand grasping at her arm. She looked at him and saw the worry lines etched across his forehead. Nikita couldn’t help but smile at him.
“You just got back and you’re already prepping to head out again.” He frowned. “You’re like a machine, woman.”
“Can’t help it,” she said, chuckling slightly, “I’m not one to sit around and do nothing.”
“It’s not about doing nothing. It’s about resting. You’ve been gone for three days.” Taegi sighed, releasing his hold on her. “Hyung can’t pass this off to someone else?”
“Nope.” Nikita shook her head. “Recruitment’s my main gig. You know this. Besides…” She paused, meeting Taegi’s gaze, her own expression softening a bit. “...if we don’t have more people on our side, what good is any of this? It’s never going to stop until every last one of us are either dead or re-educated. Numbers mean everything.”
Looking back at the phone, she opened the file Minjae sent her. It was the most current dossier on a person willingly living off the grid. They had been for some time now.
She recognized his picture immediately. He was the guy she’d run into earlier that day. The same guy she punched in the gut for teasing her when she was in the process of playing “courier” for their group.
Nikita couldn’t help the bark of laughter that escaped her. Taegi looked at her curiously but she shook her head, slipping her phone back into her pocket. This was going to be interesting. Maybe he’d hear her out despite the terrible first impression she’d given. 
My job just got a little bit harder. Great.
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~ j.j. ~
Jungkook lazily sprawled himself out on the largest branch of an old tree near the edge of town. Swiveling a toothpick between his teeth, he looked around at the people who passed below him obliviously. It amused him, in a way, how they could mindlessly continue with their lives. They were like sheep to the slaughter, unaware of the truth of things.
Then again, he didn’t really know what the “truth” was himself.
All that mattered to him was no longer having a label stamped on his body as though it were a badge of shame. Society deemed that he was destined to be poor. Society claimed that his ideal match would be someone of their choosing. Society was right and the average person didn’t need to question this.
Well, society could go eat a bag of dicks.
Again, his phone buzzed. He picked it up from where he had it laying on his chest to stare at it - the screen illuminating his face in the shadows. It was another job forwarded by his employer. Sighing, he opened up the dossier of the person he was sent to help this time. When he saw the picture, however, Jungkook sat up so fast that he nearly fell out of the tree. 
It was her. The woman who nailed him in the gut without batting an eyelash. The woman whose dark auburn curls and gray eyes failed to vacate his mind.
He was immediately suspicious.
Normally he would forward a job he didn’t want to another Runner. It wasn’t like Jungkook was hurting for money. In fact, he was planning on taking a small vacation soon - taking himself off the grid completely for a few weeks before coming back. But his curiosity was a damning thing and he didn’t mind being damned if it meant knowing who this woman was.
Nikita Meyers. 25. Former Blue Blood. Currently wanted by authorities due to her association with various Rebel factions throughout the world.
Blinking, he read through the short blurb again to make sure that he wasn’t misinterpreting anything. But what was there to misinterpret? This woman had it all and threw everything away to be a fugitive? Like him? He didn’t get it. Wasn’t the high life a life of pleasure and carefree days?
Why would she ever want to toss it away for the gritty life?
Jungkook frowned, thinking back on the life he left behind. He refused to conform to society’s whims and ran away from home when it was time for him to have his partner chosen through The Lottery Bill. He didn’t know what love was and he wasn’t sure if he wanted any part of it if the government was hell-bent on minimizing it throughout the globe. Jungkook could admit that he did stupid things when he was emotionally unstable, hence why he was living the life he currently was in the first place. But he also wasn’t too keen on the idea of bending to the whims of others.
Even so…
Sliding his thumb over the screen, he dialed the number his contact provided for him. It rang three times before someone answered. Her voice filled his ears and he leaned his back against the trunk of the tree as he listened.
“Jungkook-ssi?”
He smirked. “Oh, are we using polite words now?”
He heard a sigh from the other line. “I won’t apologize for what I did. I had my reasons.”
“Sure you did.” His tone dripped of sarcasm, but Jungkook felt his smile growing wider. “It’s alright. I forgive you anyway.”
“You’re so gracious. So, are you gonna help me or are you gonna pass me off so I’m someone else’s problem?”
His lips formed into a small ‘O’ while he scratched the side of his nose. “Is that normal for you?”
Nikita scoffed. “I don’t make it a habit to become a problem for anyone in the first place.”
“That’s a shame,” he replied while shifting his position to stand on the tree branch, “it’s fun to be problematic.”
“I’m sure you’d know that.”
“Of course. That's why I said it.”
“Are you going to help me or not?”
Jungkook was going to help her. He’d made that decision the minute he saw her picture on his phone as the next job he was supposed to take. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to have fun with her about it. 
“Well, you’re in luck. I happen to have some free time slotted in my schedule.”
“Good. Now come down from that tree and meet me face-to-face.”
His smile fell from his face and he sat up again, looking around in every direction. He quickly craned his neck down and saw she was standing below the tree he was currently perched in. For a long moment, the two of them just stared at each other - each of them holding their phones to their faces; listening to the other person breathing. 
Then he saw her smile up at him. It was a smile that clearly said that she knew more than he did; that she’d gotten the best of him. A smile full of secrets, daring someone to try to discover them.
It was a smile that made his heart twist sharply in his chest.
Hanging up the phone, he slid it into the inner pocket of his leather jacket. Without batting an eyelash, Jungkook effortlessly hopped off the tree branch, landing with an unnecessary flourish in front of her. Nikita slid her phone into her pocket as he slid his palms over the thighs of his jeans. 
Again, neither said anything. They just took in each other’s presence. 
Now that he got a better look at her, Jungkook was at least half a head taller than her. The strap to a dark gray messenger bag was pressed across her chest at an angle, enhancing the swell of her bosom. Other than that, there was nothing else about her that would elicit inappropriate thoughts. No skin showed outside of her bare neck, face, and thin wrists peeking out from the sleeves of her dark green field jacket. She wore charcoal gray cargo pants stuffed into a pair of shin length combat boots. A black newsboy hat adorned the top of her head this time.
“So,” Jungkook said, finally breaking the silence, “where am I escorting the lovely lady?”
“We’re too exposed here.” Nikita moved past him and he pivoted on his heels to follow after her. 
They were heading back into the city. 
Just as he was about to suggest they could go somewhere a little more private to chat, she hopped onto a nearby dumpster and scaled up the fire escape as easily as snapping her fingers. Jungkook slowly arched his neck, watching her fling herself up one iron landing until her body swung in a half arc to allow her the reach she needed to grasp onto the edge of the building’s rooftop. Her booted feet scraped over the brick, crumbling small bits to the ground until she disappeared over the edge.
“Well, I’ll be goddamned,” he mumbled, his smile returning. This woman was just full of surprises.
“Are you comin’ or not?” she called down to him.
Not like he needed to be asked twice. Jungkook made a game of it, determined to scale the building in half the amount of time she had. Once he reached the top, he pulled himself over the edge in time to see her running at full speed across the building. 
“Hey!” he shouted after her, his own legs eating at the ground in hot pursuit, “Wait a minute!”
But just as he was starting to close the distance, Nikita jumped from the building and curled her body inward. Jungkook was almost to the edge and was preparing his own dismount when he saw her successfully clear the gap. She grabbed onto one of the metal pipes and swung herself into an open window. Jungkook didn’t have a chance to relish in the adrenaline pumping through his veins, his eyes memorizing her movement patterns so he could follow the trail she was leaving for him.
Dust filled his nostrils, causing him to cough from the onslaught to his senses. The room smelled of old wood and mold. The building had long since been abandoned and there was clearly no interest in changing its state of disrepair. The boards creaked under each step that was taken and Jungkook mentally worried if the floor would crack and collapse right beneath him.
A beam of bright light blinded him and he hissed, moving his forearm to cover his eyes. 
“Yo, what’s the deal?!” 
His words sounded snappish, which hadn’t been his intention, but what did anyone expect when suddenly rendered unable to see?
“Sorry,” Nikita said, lowering the light to give him a chance to adjust to the darkness, “I wanted to make sure you were right behind me.” 
Jungkook rubbed his fists into his eyes gingerly, shaking his head to blink the golden spots away from his vision. “It’s fine.” 
She gestured with the flashlight toward the stairs. “Follow me. And watch your step.”
Everything in the building seemed ancient and forgotten. Jungkook swore he heard it groan in response to their presence there. It gave him an eerie sort of vibe that he wasn’t sure he wanted to really wrap his head around. 
Once they reached the ground floor, Nikita disappeared through a door to the right. It looked like an office building of some kind now that he got a better look at it. He could hear her roughly pulling at drawers from what he assumed were old metal filing cabinets. Jungkook took a lean against the door frame, folding his arms across his chest as more dust flew in the air from Nikita’s manic investigation methods.
“Need any help?”
She slammed a drawer closed and yanked at another one, fingers dancing over the folders. “I’m good.”
He shrugged, even though he knew she couldn’t see it. “So what is this place?”
“Used to be a Public Records office until everything became digitized and moved to the various data hubs all over the globe.”
“And now?”
Nikita pulled out a folder and sifted through the papers inside. “Now it’s a place for squatters and a go-between for Rebel units.”
Jungkook hummed in understanding. But something puzzled him.
“So why are we here?”
Turning to face him, she waved the envelope at him. “Gathering intel for another client.”
“Wait.” He stepped inside the room. “This isn’t an escort job, but a recon mission?”
Nikita grinned, shutting the drawer closed with her hip. “Yup.”
He frowned. “Then why was I hired for this? You do know that I’m a Runner, right?”
“I know.” She stuffed the envelope into her bag, using the beam of her flashlight to rifle through whatever contents were also inside. “I know exactly who you are, Jeon Jungkook.”
Jungkook didn’t know why, but he didn’t like what she was insinuating with those words.
Nikita pulled something else from her bag, but it was too dark for him to see. Using her other hand to secure the bag’s clasp, she stepped toward the window and slid it open. Jungkook watched her poking her head out, presumably to see if anyone else was coming. It was dark and most people had normal work schedules so there wasn’t a chance for anyone to be out after midnight. 
Well, except for them.
“It’s a waste.”
“What?” Jungkook slightly tilted his head, confused. “What is?”
“You left everything behind the same time I did, but all you’ve done is float through life without a care in the world.” She glanced at him from over her shoulder. “It’s a waste.”
Rolling his eyes, he frowned. “What the hell do you know?”
He didn’t appreciate her judgmental attitude toward him. It wasn’t like she knew him. It wasn’t like she understood what he’d gone through up until that point. Living off the grid wasn’t easy and it wasn’t for everyone. Sure, he could have gone back home and ponied up. He could have turned to those fighting against society’s rules and regulations, seeing refuge from a dying world. But he wasn’t about to let himself become dependent on anyone. Being dependent on others equated to marginalized freedom and Jungkook didn’t want that either.
Even if it he had to remain alone to maintain it.
“I know you’re a Runner,” she said, flashing a shit-eating grin at him, “so I suggest you do what you’re good at. Running.”
Jungkook wasn’t sure what she was getting at. But before he could question her further, something fell to the ground. It rolled across the floor and into the sliver of light that leaked in through the window from the streetlamp outside. 
It was a hand grenade.
“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” Jungkook barely heard his own voice through the panic cadence of his heartbeat. 
Nikita reached out to grab his hand, pulling him toward her. “RUN!”
They both tumbled out the window, rolling onto the grass in a tangle of limbs. They dislodged themselves from each other, frantically scrambling to their feet as they hurried to put as much distance between them and the building as possible. The heat from the explosion pressed against Jungkook’s back, forcing his body to lurch forward. Something cut the side of his face and he grunted as his shoulder collided with the concrete. He thought he heard someone calling him, but it was hard to make out from the soft ringing in his ears and the alarms going off.
“Shit,” he muttered as he sat up on all fours, shaking his head back and forth to chase away his rattled nerves.
Someone grabbed roughly at his jacket, yanking him up to his feet. His face was inches from Nikita’s, her stormy eyes reflecting the fire and smoke eating away at the building behind him.
“Come on,” she said, her hand reaching out to grasp his, “we have to go!”
He didn’t have time to yell at her. He simply followed her direction. Besides, he knew better than anyone that he couldn’t just walk away from this. Jungkook was an accomplice - willingness be damned. 
He was a Rebel now.
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~ n.m. ~
She’d be lying if she hadn’t planned it out that way. Nikita never had any intention of outright asking Jungkook if he would join their cause. Instead, she chose to be a dirty bitch about it - forcing his hand and leaving him no other option but to stand at their side. The Rebels weren’t necessarily losing, but they weren’t winning, either. The more skilled people they had on their side, people like Jungkook, the more likely they would win against society’s preconceived notion of what “success” and “happiness” was.
Nikita did it because she knew that they had to have him. That she had to have him. She didn’t feel guilty about taking him away from the life he’d chosen for himself.
A month later, however, the guilt started rearing its ugly little head. Usually in the dead of night; when the urge to smoke overtook her. She puffed on a cigarette, her thoughts swirling around in her head like a busted washing machine in desperate need of repair. Minjae told her that she didn’t need to tell him the truth about that day; what her intention was. She normally never questioned Minjae or his motives.
Now? Another month passed. She wasn’t so sure anymore..
A strong gust of wind pushed up against her body, causing her to take a half a step forward. The wind was always powerful the higher a person was. But the rooftop of their hideout was the only place she could find any solace. More and more people were joining their cause, but more people meant less space. Maybe it was the former high-privileged snob in her, but she liked being able to have a little breathing room in her life.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were here,” a voice said from behind her. 
She turned to glance over her shoulder, seeing that it was Jungkook. Her brows furrowed, a soft ache building at the center of her chest. But she didn’t say anything. He took a step back, his hand reaching behind him so he could push the door back open.
Nikita exhaled a thin stream of smoke, tapping the ash off the side of the building. “Stay if you want.” She shifted her gaze back to look at the twilight sky. “You don’t have to leave.”
The door closed, but the sound of feet shuffling closer toward her caused her to release a silent breath of relief. She didn’t want the awkward feeling to continue between them, and in the last month Jungkook proved himself useful. He never demanded to leave, because the people around him wanted him to stay. It made Nikita wonder if he’d never felt a sense of community before now; if he’d always been alone.
She was decent enough not to ask.
“No assignments. That’s rare.” He said it so easily, like he’d been a Rebel for years.
Shrugging, she lifted the cigarette to her lips. “Can’t be busy all the time. Batteries need charging and all that shit.”
He chuckled, sidling up beside her but giving her at least three feet of space. Nikita cast him a sidelong glance, watching him lean against the railing with his forearms.
“Yeah, I guess.” 
Jungkook reached into his pocket and pulled out a toothpick. She raised a brow, unable to force back the smirk forming on her face. It was a habit she’d never understand, but it strangely suited him. She shook her head as he clamped his teeth over the twig, making it swivel back and forth with his tongue.
“What about you?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I’m heading out in two days.”
Nikita wouldn’t ask him where. It was better if she didn’t know. The less she knew, the less likely Jungkook would be compromised should something happen while he was away.
For a while, neither of them said anything. She finished her smoke, tossing the cigarette butt off the edge. Jungkook was focused on the starry night sky, so she knew he didn’t notice her looking at him. His hair shifted in back and forth motions from another gust of wind. He looked so lost in thought, yet completely relaxed.
Anything could happen between now and tomorrow. Jungkook could turn his back on them and possibly reveal everything he’d learned to the authorities. Or he could just get captured or killed. There were no guarantees in the world they were both fighting against and fighting for.
“I’m sorry,” Nikita said, surprised at herself with how suddenly the words came tumbling out.
“Huh?” Jungkook straightened up to his full height, flashing her a confused look. “What for?”
“I put us in that situation back then so that you’d have no choice but to come with us.” 
He appeared to not understand what she was getting at. Was he really so gullible? Or was he just that innocent? How had the world not broken him?!
Nikita closed her eyes tightly, biting her lower lip that was already beginning to tremble. “I purposefully set you up. I forced you to become a Rebel.”
She couldn’t see him, much to her relief. But the sound of her heart hammering roughly against her ribs drowned out the sounds of the city. If he was saying anything at that moment, Nikita was confident she wouldn’t have heard him.
“I know.”
Those two words pierced through her loudly pounding heartbeat. Opening her eyes wide, she jerked her head to face him. He was closer to her now, but still wearing that gentle expression. The one of someone who understood something that she hadn’t been able to glean. The kind of expression that told volumes about a person’s life.
About the pain they were forced to endure.
“I know you did. And that’s okay.”
She blinked up at him, gobsmacked by his words. “Wh-What?” 
How could he say that it was okay? What part of what she said was okay? As far as Nikita was concerned, none of this was okay!
“Because it was only after being here, I realized why you did. To me, that’s all that matters.”
Nikita’s brows furrowed in disbelief. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. It was like she’d lost the ability to speak or even formulate coherent phrases. 
He continued.
“I’m a Runner. You said it yourself, running is what I’m good at. People only ever needed me to run for them. Nothing more. Nothing less.” 
She watched him take a step toward her.
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~ j.j. ~
Nikita looked like a deer caught in headlights. 
Jungkook felt a strange sensation in the pit of his stomach; like something was fluttering inside of it. He wondered if he looked the same. If he had that same expression on his own face. Jungkook hoped he didn’t, but he felt weirdly calm. He couldn’t quite place why, other than he believed everything he was saying at that moment. 
And he believed that Nikita would hear him; truly hear him.
Because for damn near two months, Jungkook couldn’t get Nikita out of his mind.
“My family didn’t care about me running away from my responsibilities. If they did, they would be looking for me now.” 
He took another step forward, his eyes flicking downward to see if Nikita was going to take a step back. She didn’t, and that strange feeling in his stomach intensified.
“My two siblings are making up for my shortcomings. They’re happy and so I kept running. Here. There. Everywhere. It never mattered where I was or how long I was gone. Because running is what I do.”
Nikita looked like she was really listening to him. He knew it because of how focused her eyes were; shaking.
“J-Jungkook,” she stammered. 
He knew he should take a step back. Reassess things and think about just what the hell was tumbling from his mouth. It wasn’t like he’d planned this and he hadn’t expected for her to apologize for making him a sucker. One day was all he needed to figure it out. After the initial internal battle he had with himself died down, Jungkook was planning to get the hell out of that place. He would play nice and then bounce. Simple as that.
But one day turned into one week. Then two. Then three. 
Until a month passed by.
He realized it hadn’t bothered him as much as he initially thought. Because in that short amount of time, he saw Nikita in ways that he was sure she didn’t realize was being showcased. Jungkook discovered every nuance about her as their paths crossed every single day. From the way she preferred hats with bills than beanies, to how she would scratch at the bridge of her nose when she was annoyed. She preferred dogs over cats, but had a special kind of love for horses. She liked dark liquors and she hated beer. Nikita hated mornings, but she would always get up early to see the sunrise before going back to sleep.
And she was one helluva free runner.
Taking one more step forward, there was now less than a foot of space between Nikita and him. Again, he looked down to see if she would step back. And again, she didn’t.
“For the first time in a while, no one wants me running anymore. And when I have to run, I know I have a place to run back to. Because there are people waiting for me.”
He reached out to grasp her wrists, feeling her pulse jumping with life beneath his palms. For a split second, he suddenly felt self-conscious that his hands might be cold, clammy, or all of the above. But Jungkook selfishly refused to let go. He would apologize later for it if she shoved him aside. 
Or off the building.
He waited - the soft clouds of breath meeting hers as she breathed out in sync with him. Nikita didn’t move or was thinking about what to do at that moment. Jungkook knew he needed to hurry and say what was churning inside of him. 
What he’d been wanting to say for almost a week now.
“Because people like you are waiting for me.”
His hands moved from her wrists, slowly gliding up her arms until his palms slid over the delicate curve of her shoulders. Jungkook even knew how strong she was under all the bulky clothes she wore. It was how people kept underestimating her. It was how she survived.
But even under that strength was a gentle and compassionate woman. A woman who cared about the people around her. A woman who decidedly left her comfortable entitlement to help anyone suffering under the injustice of the world’s system. A woman who cried in mourning for those who could not be with the ones they loved.
Jungkook’s hands cupped her neck, using his thumbs to stroke over Nikita’s jawline. He gently pressed them to her chin, lifting her face to his. He could see the tears forming in her eyes and he paused, feeling his own hands trembling. Could he afford to hesitate? Could he really let this moment pass by, only to fade away into the darkness where it would never return to see the light of day?
He had to keep trusting her. Trust that she would keep listening.
“Jungkook, what are you--?”
“I love you.”
Jungkook felt like his insides were going to fall straight out of him. He said it. His nerves felt liquefied, but he said it.
“W-What?”
“I love you, Nikita.”
Not wanting her to push him away, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers. He felt her gasp in his mouth and he waited for her to retaliate. To kick and scream and threaten to toss him over the side to his death. He would have deserved it. His death would be justified.
But Nikita didn’t shove him to the side. No. And he lifted his lips from hers when he felt her hands cupping his elbows. What tears were in her eyes spilled down her cheeks. Jungkook saw her brows furrow, but there was a watery smile now on her face.
And then he kissed her again, harder. His hands left her face so he could wrap his arms around her, fully pulling her up against him. He needed her close. Closer than he’d ever been able to get to her. The need was terrible and he didn’t want to chase it away. He sucked in air through his nose, drinking in the subtle smell of her shampoo. Nipping and tugging at her lips between his teeth and tongue, he relished the soft taste of ash from the cigarette she smoked earlier. But there was a hint of peppermint. Nikita always ate a peppermint before smoking because she despised the taste.
Jungkook would continue his mission of getting her to quit.
They parted the kiss long enough to get air. He could just barely see her through the clouds of their breaths. Even in the dark, her eyes seemed to glow. He loved how Nikita always looked like she could see right through him.
“I fell in love with you. I don’t know how. I don’t know why.” He leaned forward, pressing his forehead against hers as their noses touched. “I just did. I just do.”
Turning to bury his nose into the curve of Nikita’s neck, he smiled against her skin.
“It’s okay if you don’t right now. We have as much time as we need to figure it out. Until then, just let me keep loving you as you are now. As I am now.”
Her body shook with how roughly she was nodding her head. Jungkook pressed his fingers against the back of her neck as he held her aloft. And for awhile, that’s all they did. Hugged each other. He could feel how hard their hearts were hammering against each other. All the anxiety and hesitation felt like it was bleeding out of him.
Nikita laughed a little. “Damn,” she whispered.
Jungkook smirked. “What?”
“Guess this means I love you too.”
They shared a laugh. He leaned forward to pull her into a hug. Jungkook appreciated how good it felt to know her arms were around him. It may have been a selfish beginning, but it wouldn’t be a selfish end.
He knew things would get harder from now on. But that was okay. Because the hole in his heart was full. 
Because he loved this woman in his arms.
43 notes · View notes
taetaesbaebaepsae · 5 years
Text
BTS after a breakup
Maknae Line
Part 2 of 3 Titled: Things Get Worse Before They Get Better, Folks
Alternate Title: Jimin is a Hot Mess Drama King and We Stan
Alternate Title 2: Reader in Tae's Story Can Meet Me in the Pit
Warnings: tears, angst, being emo, alcohol as a coping mechanism, some disordered eating, Jimin’s gets kinda sexy (ya know, duality)  but no real smut
Word Count: 5,710
Taehyung (V)
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During the time you’re apart, Tae avoids social media like the plague
He doesn’t want to see what you’re up to or who you’re with
Ignorance is bliss, until he gets in a spiral thinking about what went wrong and what he was lacking to make you leave
He won’t text you much, but sometimes when he’s drinking too much (which is much more than usual) he will just send you a “hey” and when you leave him on read he just gets sad
Literally zero posts on any social media at all, which is super weird because we know he is the king of smokin hot selfies
Stares into space a lot during vlives, all the Army wants to know what’s up but he won’t say a word about you
He’s not bent on revenge or finding out who you’re with or anything even though he gets hella curious, this poor bb is just sad, just a total mope
It takes Taehyung a while to start feeling even a little like himself again
All the members knew how Taehyung had wanted to spend the rest of his life with you
He'd told Namjoon and Jin after your third date that he was going to marry you one day
They were all shocked whenever he admitted you'd met someone else
You'd seemed so devoted, so perfect for him
You balanced his goofiness with your own dry sense of humor
And when he got too serious it was always you who made him laugh with a deadpan quip
You'd fit in with the boys, too, and when you'd taken a spur of the moment massage therapy class they'd all reaped the benefits
At least for a while
Taehyung put a stop to it when Jimin started ripping off his shirt every time you walked in to the room and he noticed you eyeing his body too appreciatively
You were never jealous of fan meetings or pictures online
You just...fit with Taehyung
You weren't a fashionista and didn't wear much designer clothes (other than the Gucci he bought you)
You were much different from Taehyung but it all balanced
You had probably been closest to Namjoon out of everyone, so he was the one you talked to first
He burst into your office at work like he owned the place
"Joon, what-"
"You wanna tell me what the fuck is going on with you, or..."
He sat down in the chair facing your desk, crossing his arms and giving you his leader face
You sighed as you knew you couldn't weasel out of this conversation
"How is he?"
"Bad. He's bad, y/n. He's not sleeping, he's drinking too much, he's barely talking to any of us."
You winced. "I just....he was going to propose, Namjoon."
Namjoon leaned forward. "I know how you feel about marriage, and I understand that could throw a wrench in things, but Tae said you met someone else? You cheated on him, y/n? He's got to be jumping to conclusions, right?"
You looked away, unable to lie right his face
"He didn't jump to conclusions. I...met someone while you guys were on tour."
"What the fuck, y/n? You know how much he loves you-"
"I know, I know!" You snap. "Believe me, you can't make me feel any worse than I do already. He told me we could work it out, that he'd forgive me..."
"Then why are you still not talking to him?"
Tears prick at your eyes. You know Namjoon cares about you and he had similar ideas about marriage, you'd talked about it with him many times
You wish you could come clean and tell him everything, but you know that would just lead to Taehyung pushing aside what he wants to keep you happy
“He hasn’t really tried to talk to me.”
“Oh, really? After you cheated on him and moved out, he’s not blowing you up? Wild.”
"Also..I...I want to make a go of things with the new guy."
"Seriously?"
"I don't know! I'm confused. I need some space, I guess," you lied, trying not to cry
"Look, y/n, I'm upset with you, we all are, but whether you and Tae work things out or not, you can't just cut him out. He's not built to lose people like that. Even if you can only be friends...He needs you."
"Okay. I'll talk to him."
"Do it soon, okay? Before he drowns in soju and tears."
You crack a weak smile and when you stand up, Namjoon gives you a tight hug
You call Taehyung after you get off work and he answers before the first ring ends
It had been a week so you were surprised he answered at all, figured he'd be too angry to answer
"Hey, Tae. How have you been?" You say lamely
"Not so good," he admits, voice hoarse.
"I was hoping...we could talk."
"Yes. Yes, of course we can talk. Do you want to come home and talk now? I mean...come over." He clears his throat and you can't help but smile
"Sure. Is 7 okay? I'll bring food."
"I can't wait."
You come to the door with Thai food and it feels weird to ring the doorbell of the home you've lived in for years
Taehyung looks breathtaking when he opens the door (doesn't he always though)
Dressed in dark skinny jeans and a white button down, he looks dressed for a date, and it's cute
He jerks open the door as if you might leave if he doesn't answer it soon enough and fumbles to take the bags of food from you, giving you a dazzling smile
He's moving kind of slow and you detect the scent of peaches in the air
"Peach soju?" You ask
He turns to you, wringing his hands and looking like you caught him with his hand in the cookie jar
"Just a couple!"
"You're such a lightweight," you say, smirking at him
He offers you one, struggling a bit with the bottle opener, and you accept, arranging the food on the table while he watches with big dark eyes
"I was nervous," he says quietly when you sit down
"It's just me, silly. No need to be nervous."
"Yeah, but I'm trying to convince you to come back to me, so it is an important night." You hate the way his half smile makes your heart hurt
"That's not what this is about, Tae. I just wanna talk. I don't want us to end angry."
"I don't want us to end at all," he says, softly, and you wish he'd quit looking at you like that because it's like you're the only thing in the room
The thing is, he's always looked at you like that, every day for two years, and suddenly you think this was a bad idea
You start eating and he pushes things around on his plate here and there, taking a few bites before he sighs and puts down his chopsticks
"What's wrong?" You ask with a mouthful of glass noodles, and he shakes his head
He wants to say everything because he can't stand how far away you're sitting, how stiff your body language is, how awkward this feels
"I want to ask you what happened, but I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
"How much it will hurt hearing about you falling in love with someone else," he says in a low tone, and he looks miserable for the first time that night
"I'll tell you anything you want to know." You say, hoping you can come up with lies that fit
He fidgets for a moment and then takes two long pulls from his soju bottle before speaking
"Look, Jagiya...I know this is stupid and it's just testosterone but I can't stop thinking about it. Did you actually sleep with him?"
"Yes," you say without hesitation, knowing that if he was angry with you maybe this would be easier
Instead of yelling at you he just covers his face with his hands, breathing hard
You're quiet for a moment and when he puts his hands down he's wiping tears from the corners of eyes
He clears his throat
"What's he look like? Is he handsome?"
You were actually prepared for this question because although he was humble, you knew Taehyung prided himself on his looks (being voted the world’s most handsome man multiple times will do that to you)
"Sure," you say casually
"Do you have a picture?"
You fumble for your phone and show him a picture of yourself and a good friend of yours, Jongin
He was painfully shy around most people but you'd been friends since you'd gone to high school together, and since you'd been spending time with your parents lately and his band's tour had ended recently you'd been spending time with him and other friends
The picture wasn't particularly suggestive, just you and a good side profile of Jongin as he smiled and pressed his lips to your cheek
But from Taehyung's sharp intake of breath and the look on his face, you'd think it was a picture of you giving him head or something
"Oh, an idol, huh?" His voice is strangled as he throws your phone on the table. "Did you meet him through me?"
You shook your head. "I've know him for like 10 years. We went to high school together." Your voice is almost a whisper, but at least that much is true
"Oh, good!" His voice is rising and you wonder if he'll finally snap but he just gives you a bitter smile, wiping a hand across his face. "Isn't he the one they call dancing machine?"
"He's...very talented. We had ballet together." It was easier when you could tell part of the truth
Taehyung nods vigorously, knee jerking up and down underneath the table
You recognizes this nervous energy and you knew he is trying to contain his emotions
Suddenly he sits back in his chair and closes his eyes.
"I'm not... I'm not feeling so well."
You snap in to action, suspecting he'd had more than the two bottles he'd told you plus the additional two he'd drunk during dinner
You wet a cloth and walk over to him to wipe his face and when you do he snakes his arms around your waist and buries his face in your stomach
You stroke his hair for a moment and then he pulls back to look at you, arms still tight around you and he's crying in earnest now
"I don't care if you're fucking someone else. I don't care if you don't love me anymore. I'll make you forget him. I'll make you love me again. Just come home, Jagiya."
You can't stop yourself from leaning down to kiss him, just once more, and when you do he makes a surprised sound in his throat and stands to meet you, arms tighter around your waist
It feels like the first kiss, how he grabbed you in the restaurant as you headed toward the bar to order another martini and spun you around
But you guess it's like that, endings and beginnings merging together
When you pull away and gather your things he doesn't try and stop you but he watches every move you make until the door closes behind you
(The other members find out who your "new man" is two days later, when Tae cracks the tv in the dance room by throwing the remote control while Jimin is watching "The Eve" dance practice)
Jimin
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It's at least two weeks before Jimin is functioning
And by functioning I mean barely functioning with unhealthy coping mechanisms
He's drinking two meals a day, not eating nearly enough and binging once a week on pizza or ice cream
He's in the gym or the dance room all the time, overworking himself
He's either sleeping too much or not enough
Jungkook's watching him like a hawk as if he's going to jump out a window
Maybe he's thought about it, once or twice
You are truly Jimin's first real relationship and he'd been sure that eventually he'd start a family with you
He had the whole "forever" thing for you and for you just to walk out turned everything upside down
He didn't know how not to call you every day, didn't know how to live without his skin touching yours
He's sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag bc the sheets still smell like you which hurts but if he washes them every trace of you will be gone
You have to block his number because he will NOT STOP CALLING YOU whether it’s 10am or 4am or 2pm he’s always calling you or texting you the sweetest, saddest messages
He stalks you on social media, definitely cries when you post new selfies because he misses you so much
Uses “memories” on FB to post old pics of you two together with fifteen broken heart emojis
You won't answer his messages but you don't unfriend him or block him on anything so he just posts sad faces in your comments
You: #selfiesaturday #feelingmyself *cute snapchat filter selfie*
Jimin: :( :( :(
Girls try to slide in his dms and he tries to flirt but just ends up talking about you for two hours 
You post on Instagram that you're headed to a club with a friend one Saturday night and Jimin is suddenly all energy, bouncing around his apartment where poor Jungkook has practically moved in, relieved every few days by Taehyung
Jimin begs Jungkook to go with him to a new club
"Absolutely not. I am done with you getting shitfaced and me having to carry you up the stairs, Jiminie."
"I won't drink!" Jimin whines.
Jungkook shoots him a look
"Much," Jimin amends
Jungkook only agrees because he actually seems excited, for once
Jimin doesn’t let on that you might be there but he dresses up, eyeliner and everything and Jungkook is lowkey suspicious
When they arrive Jimin is scanning the crowd like a Terminator
Every time Jungkook loses sight of him he panics a little
It isn’t as if he doesn’t think Jimin can’t take care of himself, it’s that he knows Jimin cannot think straight with a broken heart
He just doesn’t want him to do anything dumber than he’s already doing
Jungkook is a good bro
He actually spots you before Jimin does and he starts urging him that they need to leave
“We just got here!” He is drinking less, at least
Jungkook just doesn’t want another public breakdown
The media is all over Jimin’s heartbreak, posting articles about him crying in cafes and bookstores, over anything that reminds him a little of you
The whole BTS Army has #y/ncatchthesehands trending
Jungkook sees some beefy dude slip his arm around your waist as you’re standing at the bar and he’s like “Jimin, we gotta blast.”
Jimin is not having it, he hasn’t seen you yet
“One more drink, Kookie, please. I’m having fun!”
His eyes look a little wild but at least he’s not near tears
It’s a big place so Jungkook focuses on trying to coax him to the upstairs where you won’t be visible
Jimin spots you as Jungkook is all but dragging him up the stairs
“It’s Y/N!” He yells above the music
Jungkook is like SHIT SHIT SHIT
He can pinpoint the moment at which Jimin spots the beefy dude who’s shielding you with his arm from all the other clubgoers crowding the bar
Actual representation of Jimin at this moment:
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He just stands there looking like someone shot him in the chest for a moment
“It’s just some guy, Jiminie, don’t worry, he’s probably just annoying her.”
At that exact moment the dude leans in close to tell you something and you brush your hair away to hear him and burst out laughing
Jungkook: 
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He looks over at Jimin and he’s not crying, thank God, but he looks like he’s ready to fistfight the moon
Jimin announces that he needs a drink and Jungkook briefly considers picking him up and heaving him over his shoulder to get him out of the club but thinks better of it because Jimin is a real dirty fighter; he’s squirrelly
In the end he just follows him to the bar to watch, where Jimin slips between you and the beefy dude like he has no bones
He orders two shots of Patron as if you aren’t even standing there looking at him like he’s crazy
Jungkook is lowkey impressed at how well his friend is holding it together
Jimin does the dramatic “Oh, fancy meeting you here,” pretending he hasn’t seen you at all
You’re not having it
Particularly since he slides one of the shots over to you with a wink and a smile
You didn’t even think about what you had posted on your Instagram but you knew Jimin was watching every notification by all the sad face comments and dms
You give him a tight smile, though, because you still love him and he looks great, like he’s thriving after you’d left, wearing leather pants and a tight black tshirt, eyeliner and everything
“Hey, Jimin!” 
He puts his lips very close to your ear and asks you if you want to go somewhere more private to talk
He can be very seductive when he wants to be
Your eyes dart to your friend
Jimin turns as if he didn’t notice him standing next to you at all
“Who’s this?” He asks breezily
You: shook at how well he’s handling seeing a man in your general vicinity
Jimin wasn’t exactly jealous when you were together, but possessive, for sure. He wanted all the attention of literally everybody, but definitely his significant other, so he got whiny and pouty any time you so much as looked at you for too long
“This is Hoseok,” you said, stepping back from the bar so that you can half ass stand between them
“No it’s not,” Jimin says,deadpan, and you laugh
“It is. They just have the same name. He’s from Monsta X, you know! I met him while they were here on tour last month.”
Last month while he was on the world tour, Jimin thinks 
Wheels are turning in his head but they’re all the wrong direction it’s bad
“Oh yeah, I bought you that VIP package,” he says, smiling with too much teeth and looking a little like a shark and shaking Hoseok’s hand
Jimin isn’t dumb, he remembers you fangirling over Monsta X and this dude with the muscles who pulled a Jimin in No More Dream during a few songs or ripped his shirt off (also a Jimin move)
Hoseok, to his credit, shakes Jimin’s hand with enthusiasm. “It’s great to meet you, man, I’m a big fan!”
Jimin’s praise kink won’t allow him to be mean to that
“Sure, thanks, you guys are great, too,” he mumbles, and then turns to you
“Can I talk to you just for a few minutes? Please?”
You nod toward Hoseok and he shrugs and winks at you
Jimin grits his teeth. He changed his mind even if he is a fan he doesn’t like him
Jimin orders another shot for you both but since you haven’t taken your yet he just takes them both while you take yours with you
You let him lead you outside which leaves Jungkook and Hoseok standing awkwardly at the bar
Jimin is not even remotely drunk enough for this
The last couple of drinks haven’t even hit him and you’re standing there looking like a goddess in a red leather dress and stilettos, makeup on point, looking like you’ve never been better
He feels like an absolute mess despite his attention to detail when getting ready
You’re standing there hoping your eyes don’t look too puffy and worrying about your love handles in your tight dress
The music pumps out of the doors and so he grabs your elbow gently and leads you around to the alley where it’s quieter
You stand against the brick wall, peering up at him from under your eyelashes and he wants to kiss you so bad, wants to hike your legs around his waist and slam you against the wall while he does it, just to remind you what you’re missing, who you belong to
All he does is kind of shuffle his feet and get closer to you, smiling
“How you been, Jiminie?” You ask softly
“Good! Great, really.” His eyes widen as he lies through his teeth, and you smile back at him half heartedly
He only looks at you for a moment longer before his smile fades and he puts a hand on your cheek
“I’m lying,” he admits quietly. “I’m not good. I’m awful.”
“Me, too,” you breathe, a little tipsy and not mindful of your words or expression
“Really?” He sounds so excited and hopeful. He smiles, shamefaced. “I don’t mean I’m glad you’re awful but you just...you look so beautiful and you looked like you were having fun with...that...guy.”
“I was. Doesn’t mean I don’t miss you.” 
His face falls a little and you notice how sharp his jawline looks
You cock your head. “Jimin, are you eating enough?”
“Sure, sure,” he waves you off
“Jiminie...”
“Jungkook makes me,” he grumbles
You smile, and it seems to Jimin that it lights up the dim alley
“You’re lucky to have him.”
“I am,” he agrees. “But I’d rather it were you cooking for me and looking out for me.” He keeps inching closer to you and you’re cornered
You wonder how much he’s had to drink when you can smell tequila and lime on his breath and he leans down and nuzzles your neck, making you shiver
“You smell so good,” he all but moans into your ear, and you’ve got goosebumps everywhere
Your head is spinning from the booze and his nearness and you try hard to focus on what’s best for him, how he needs to grow up and take care of himself and not worry so much about you and your relationship
You place both hands on his chest and push him gently
He stumbles backward, looking at you like a confused puppy
“I should get back inside.”
Jimin runs his hands through his hair in irritation
“Why? Is that guy your date or something?”
You worry your lower lip between your teeth, and Jimin knows that means you’re feeling anxious
He finds it crazy sexy but now is not the time
“So I buy you tickets to a show, you meet your bias, and a month later ‘you need space,’” he says slowly
“Jiminie, don’t-” you warn, cheeks flushing
“By space, did you mean you wanted to fuck that guy?” He’s yelling, now, pointing vigorously in the direction of the bar as if maybe you forgot which guy he’s referring to
“You’re drunk and you’re being ridiculous,” you huff, pushing him again as he’s started to crowd you in his anger
“I am not nearly drunk enough,” he growls at you
“Jimin, you have to stop this. It isn’t space if you’re following me around-”
“Who says I’m following you? This is a popular club.”
You look at him pointedly and he sighs and runs his hands through his hair again
“I can’t help it! I miss you. I miss you so much, baby. I don’t even care if you’re with this guy, I mean...I care, but you’re not fucking him or anything, right?” 
You worry your lip between your teeth again, not because you don’t want to answer but because you’re starting to get mad at his accusations
His eyes widen, strong jaw clenched tight. “Right?” His tone is low and almost mean
“Stop it. I mean it, Jimin, let me go inside. This isn’t getting us anywhere.”
You brush past him, stilettos clicking on the pavement
“Fine!” He roars. “Go back inside and fuck that guy on the dance floor for all I care! There’s a hundred girls in there who’ll actually want me!”
You shrug off his cruel words and go back inside, leaving him panting with anger in the cool air
Two hours later, Jungkook is so tired
He has been on Jimin watch for the past two and a half weeks and he knew coming here was a bad idea
Jimin was absolutely trashed at this point
They’d racked up a $200 tab, Jimin had girls all over him
He was flirting 50% of the time and just complaining about you and how you broke his heart the other 50%, but Jungkook had to admit they were eating it up either way
Jimin’s shooting death ray stares at you and that dude from Monsta X as you sit on one of the leather couches with him
You’re a lot like Jimin, you get handsy when you’re drunk, so you’ve got your legs draped over his lap and he puts a hand on your thigh and Jimin finally loses his whole shit
Surprisingly, he doesn’t get mad, just super sad
He’s not crying but it’s a near thing and Jungkook feels like it’s past time to go
He’s about to literally throw him over his shoulder when Jimin agrees to leave
“Yeah, Jiminie?”
“Sure. I don’t want to see this anymore. I’ll go pay the tab.”
Jungkook puts a hand on his shoulder. “I got it, pal.”
He heads to the bar, weaving through people, and Jimin glances over at you again
Beefy Hoseok is nowhere to be seen, maybe gone to the bathroom or something, and you’re sitting at the edge of the couch, looking around
For Jimin, of course, but he doesn’t know that
He attempts to walk a straight line over to the couch and plops down next to you, resting his head against the back
You won’t look at him, crossing your arms over your chest
“I’m sorry,” he says, yelling over the music.
He slides closer to you, right at your ear
“I’m sorry, baby. Just please, come home with me. Just for tonight. Just so we can talk. I miss you so much.”
You don’t crack, this time, just stand up and meet Hoseok as he comes out of the bathroom, tucking your hand around his offered elbow and wrapping it around his considerable bicep
Jimin can’t do anything but watch you go
Jungkook comes back and Jimin looks devastated
He doesn’t cry until they’re in the elevator
“She really went home with that guy, Kook.”
Jungkook ends up having to throw him over his shoulder anyway because he refuses to go to bed, wanting to drink more, and throw him on the bed you used to share
Jimin wakes up hungover surrounded by your scent and decides to finally wash the sheets
Jungkook
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He is a very sad boi
He’s snippy with everyone because he’s not sleeping well he keeps waking up because he’s reaching for you when he’s asleep and you’re not there and then he’s sad and he can’t go back to sleep
Has sex dreams about you and wakes up sad rather than horny
He plays a thousand hours of assorted video games the two weeks after you’re apart
At first he’s like “she bitches about this sometimes so fuck her imma play all I want” but really he’s just trying to escape from thinking about you and what you’re up to
Will only text you if he’s shitfaced and he’ll say some real sappy shit like “I miss you” or “come back home” and feel like a total idiot when he realizes he sent it and you left him on read
Stalks you on social media just like Jimin but is super low key about it
Would be horrified if he accidentally liked one of your Insta posts or replayed your snaps
King of sassy vaguebooking posts shit like “Hope he’s worth it”
His Insta gets real emo, pouty selfies and nature pics
Every female friend he’s had since he was 13 is blowing up his dms but he doesn’t even read them
Cries more than any of the boys (except Jimin) except he always does it alone
Definitely has at least one major breakdown where he breaks a bunch of shit, punches holes in walls, that kind of stuff
Isolates from the boys
Will only talk to Namjoon when he’s feeling really crazy, so it’s like 1am and Namjoon is talking him off a ledge
If he’s asked about you by any of the other members he shrugs it off and acts like he doesn’t care (he cares very much)
Eats total crap, frozen pizza and takeout only, so much beer
His place is totally trashed in like 3 days
In the gym at least 2 hours a day
If y’all stay apart very long he will get SHREDDED
Never misses dance practice or anything, very functional but he’s kind of a jerk to everyone, snapping at the other members, getting mad over nothing
You don’t respond to the other members, either
They’re all your friends but you know anything you say might slip to Jungkook and you just can’t face him, not yet
You know you’ll end up spilling how you feel and you can’t go back until you know you’re what he wants and he’s what you want
One night when he’s had most of a six pack and Namjoon isn’t answering the phone because he’s turned it off to get some sleep he decides to walk over to where he kissed you for the first time
He’s a hopeless romantic at heart and on your second date he took you to this little spot with a creek and lots of moonlight and laid one on you
You really didn’t know if he was even interested in you because on the first date he didn’t talk much and just walked you to your door
He’s blushing after the kiss and so cute you can’t stand it
He’s out at your spot taking pics for his emo Insta when he sees a couple sitting on the bank of the creek, some guy with his arm around a girl and it makes his heart hurt bc it looks like you
Oh shit it is you
His heart starts beating so fast, poor baby
He hides behind a tree to watch you it’s wild
You’re crying and some moron is trying to comfort you with his arm all around your shoulders, stroking your hair and shit
Jungkook wants to push him in the creek
But you look like you’re being comforted
He’s trying to figure out how to sneak away without being noticed when you peek around the tree he’s hiding behind
“Jungkook?”
The guy is standing right behind you
Jungkook is crouched like some kinda cryptid behind this stupid tree
Jungkook: 
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You and Jungkook hanging out at each other’s sappy first kiss place: 
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He stands up and brushes himself off and just kinda waves at you he doesn’t know what to do he’s dying inside 
so embarrassed
You just kind of wave off BamBam and he nods at you and hikes up toward his car
“So,” you say, feeling like an idiot for being here and hoping he doesn’t know you were crying (he does)
“So,” he says, just wishing God would strike him dead because he’s out here half drunk at your romantic spot watching as YOU BROUGHT SOME OTHER GUY HERE
“How are things?”
“Good, good.” (Cool cool cool)
“Well, anyway, nice to see you, guess I’ll-” You don’t know if you should hug him or just like...walk away
You’re texting someone and it’s super weird he doesn’t know what’s happening
Two awkward babies
As you walk off Jungkook’s like “Wait-”
His face is all red from booze and embarrassment
“I can give you a ride home,” he says.
“You don’t know where I live.”
Jungkook rubs the back of his neck. “You could give me directions, I guess, unless you’re going home with that guy.” He jerks his chin toward the hill
You want to roll your eyes but he looks miserable so you just sigh
“He’s my friend.”
“Weird. I’ve never met him.”
“Yes you have! He’s in GOT7, you bought me tickets, you dork. We went to dinner with him at that vegan restaurant?”
He remembered now, VIP tickets while BTS was on a world tour. Super bright idea, Jungkook, he thinks
“Wow, a vegan. Tough.”
“Shut up.”
“So he’s the dude you wanna explore with?”
“He’s just been a good friend since-”
“Since you inexplicably left to see other people? I bet he has. He’s trying to get into your pants.”
You’re pissed off. You just wanted the ground to swallow you up at first and now you wanna be petty
“How do you know he hasn’t already?”
Jungkook is shook
Y’all have always been sassy to each other but that was downright cruel
His stomach is in knots
“Has he?”
He wants to scream for the whole thirty seconds that you don’t answer
When you just shrug, he lowkey wants to push you into the creek
You look pretty even with bloodshot eyes and a puffy face from crying and suddenly he’s just so tired and miserable 
“Can’t we just talk about this? Can’t we just go home?”
He sounds pitiful and you want to tell him yes
BamBam blows the horn like a jerk, just because you had texted him to do so after fifteen minutes because you would rather die than have Jungkook know you were so upset that you forced your friend to take you to their spot
Jungkook is big mad
“Who the hell does he think he is? This is who you want to explore your options with? What a fucking asshat.”
“I gotta go, Kook. It was good to see you.”
“Wait - y/n...can we talk sometime else? Will you text me?”
“Maybe.”
You’re being so standoffish, so different, and he hates it
You leave him standing there and hike back up the trail and he just sits at the creek for a couple hours until he stops crying
917 notes · View notes
1rosex · 6 years
Text
BTS Reaction to accidentally yelling at their s/o
Request: Hii i really love your writing! Can I please request an angst bts reaction to u bugging them on accident and they yell but apologize later? Thank u 💕💕
A/N sorry i lost the request but I already had it pasted so ye!
angst ahead 👌 (contains mild language)
Masterlist
Jin
You didn't know Jin was so upset. You could tell when he was stressed, and thats all you assumed was the matter when he came into the house with a blank expression. He didn't greet you, nor did he respond when you asked him how his day was.
"Aish, Y/N I told you to put your food away when you're done eating." Jin said when he saw a pot of food on the stove.
"Actually I made it for you." You muttered. "Its still warm if you want to-"
"No, its fine." Jin shook his head as he started pulling out a container to put the leftovers away.
"But Jin, you look really tired. You know you need to look after your health and-"
"Y/N, I said no. Cant you see I'm stressed! Just let me be!" Jin snapped with an awful amount of annoyance in his voice. You swallowed dryly, you know he hadn't really said anything hurtful but the way he said it made you feel some kind of way. You just nodded and left him to be alone, you understood he had a very tiring job. Jin looked after you, a pang of guilt hitting him almost immediately. He sighed and served himself the food you had made for him, taking his time to eat and calm down. Later he came out to find you curled up on your bed watching television.
"Y/N, hey. Mind if I join?"
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Namjoon
You were watching BTS practice the choreography to their new song, and Namjoon was in a bad mood. He wasn't on time with the members and he just felt awkward and stiff. The stress of not being good enough was making him easily upset, so when you made a comment about his timing being off, he had enough.
"I know! Do you think this is easy!? Why don't you give it a try?" He suddenly exclaimed at you. You felt sadness overcome you, not only for that reason that Namjoon had just yelled at you, but because he had yelled at you in front of the others. You swallowed and let out a barely audible apology before leaving the practice room. You went to wait in the car until practice was over.
Namjoon came out of practice feeling guilty for what he had told you. He was relieved when he saw you were waiting in the passengers seat as he opened the car door, though you didn't look at him.
"Y/N baby.. I didn't mean that. Im sorry I took my frustration out on you."
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Yoongi
You didn't mean to annoy Yoongi when you went to visit him in his studio. You sensed he was in a tired mood, looking focused on his computer screen with bags under his eyes. You leaned forward and wrapped your arms around his waist, resting your head on his shoulder in hopes of offering comfort. Unfortunately, it had the opposite effect on him as he pulled away and turned to you.
"Can you leave me alone? I already spend every damn second with you and you're still here. You're so annoying sometimes." He snapped bluntly before turning back to his work. You blinked in surprise at his sudden reaction and slowly turned away, leaving the room. You felt tears sting at his words and struggled to stop them, trying to understand he was just overworked as you laid down on the couch. By the time Yoongi left the studio, you'd fallen asleep there alone. Yoongi walked into the living room heavy with guilt as he saw curled up into a ball with a blanket wrapped around you tightly. He quietly made his way over to you as to not wake you, leaning down and running a hand through your hair.
"I'm sorry Y/N.. I'll make it up to you tomorrow."
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J-Hope
He's such a sunshine, you'd actually never seen him really upset. But this day had been hard, he was really stressed before his performance on stage. You were just trying to be helpful by reminding him about the dance move he was struggling with, but this only seemed to be stressing him out even more. Hoseok suddenly turned to you with a look of irritation in his eyes.
"Okay Y/N! I wont fuck it up, I get it!" He yelled out before going to get ready to go on stage. You were left behind in surprise, he never yelled at you like that and it was very much unlike him. You stayed backstage, fiddling with your hands and feeling bad for what you had said as if it was your fault. The performance went smoothly and Hoseok did well despite his worries and guilt for what he had told you. Now he was hurrying down the hall looking for you, finding you in the same spot he'd left you.
"Y/N.. Im sorry. You don't hate me do you?"
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Jimin
You thought you were being kind by complimenting your boyfriend a lot. At least, that was your intention. You wanted him to see himself through your own eyes, where in your minds eye, he was perfect. But you failed to see that today, your compliments were having the opposite effect. He suddenly turned to you with an angry stare as he was getting ready to go on stage.
"Okay! I get it! Stop nagging me, you make me feel so pressured!" Jimin yelled before leaving the room. You were left in surprise, not knowing what you'd done wrong. You didnt watch their peformance, staying backstage to help the staff clean up. Jimin was a lot calmer when he came back to find you, his stress going away now that the concert was over. Now he realized how hurtful he'd been to you. When he found you, he was quick to go in your direction as you turned the other way.
"Y/N.. Please look at me. Im sorry, I was nervous. You were just trying to help."
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Taehyung
You really didnt notice you were ticking your boyfriend off as you laid besides him. You were trying to help him with some lyrics, being goofy and trying to make him laugh. You were used to him getting quiet sometimes, but not like this. By the time you started to see that he wasnt into it, it was too late.
"Could you shut up for once in your life! I don't need help with this, I'm not a child. You can leave." Taehyung suddenly said. You blinked in surprise and slowly got up, leaving the room with a heavy feeling of guilt and tears spilling from your eyes. Taehyung was left blinking in shock at what he had said, he didn't meant to be so harsh. He took a deep breath and ruffled his own hair as he calmed down. You laid down on the couch with regret, watching television and trying to forget about what had happened. Hours later, Taehyung was entering the room. You didn't look at him as he walked over to your side and took a seat besides you. You could feel his eyes on you, and eventually you couldn't resist as you turned to look at him.
"Are you going to keep ignoring me?" He asked.
".. Really? I'm the wrong one?" You questioned with a hint of anger. Taehyung shook his head.
"No. It was my fault.. Im sorry Y/N."
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Jungkook
The reasons for Jungkook's anger, was actually the fact that he had seen you hanging out with Jimin a lot lately. You didn't mean anything by it, but Jungkook had been spending a lot of time in the studio and you were with Jimin while you waited for him. You noticed Junkook's silent anger the moment he got home and ignored you, going from room to room silently. Eventually you found him looking for a snack in the kitchen and confronted him.
"Whats wrong?" You asked.
"Oh, I didnt realize I'm Jimin now." He said sarcastically as you looked at him in confusion. "Because thats the only person you ever talk to." He muttered.
"Jungkook, I just talk to him because you're so busy-"
"Oh well, I'm fucking sorry you decided to date an idol!" He suddenly yelled out while slamming the fridge closed and rattling jars inside. You jumped, too stunned to do anything as he walked out of the room. You felt tears began to fill your eyes and quickly wiped them away, deciding to stay on the couch to avoid running into him. You were still laying there watching television when Jungkook finally came down into the room, it was obvious he'd been in some emotional pain too.
"I didn't mean that. I didnt mean to be harsh."
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2K notes · View notes
simplyselicia · 6 years
Text
BTS Analysis Part 4: Fake Love
Hey! I’m so in love with the new album. Heavy rotation 24/7. As you can tell, this is the fourth installment of my analysis series. I’ve stated in the past to keep in mind I’m not much of a theorist, I’m just really talking about things I noticed and what certain symbolism might mean. I will link the Part 3 about Singularity post here since I’ll probably reference back to it: 
BTS Analysis Part 3: Singularity
This is my first comeback as an ARMY, so when I tell you I was so hype that it hurt I am telling the truth. I am so beyond blown away, I’m not sure if any of this is about to make sense. This gif explains what was going on in my mind while watching Fake Love. 
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First, I’ll talk about Fake Love Teaser 1. In the teaser we got call backs to Wings and the Love Yourself Highlight Reels. The boys come in to exchange their fears for a positive so to say. If I had to take an educated guess, based on album notes I’d say Yoongi handed in a piano key. That would leave our intertwined characters. We don’t what Jin was given, if anything. We don’t know what V exchanged. Jungkook never gave over anything, but received a key in return.
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When I went back to the highlight reels to research part of the narration really stuck out to me: “Looking back, I had known all along that underneath the glittering world before my eyes lay my deception, that everything was to collapse with a breath of wind. I turned away, I’d side stepped, simply closed my eyes. Afraid I was, afraid to be loved for who I am.”
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Fake Love opens with our Smeraldo flower being protected. Very Beauty and the Beast. This is the untold truth that Jin has been asked about. Jin is alone in the room with this untold truth, looking through the window. We see him closing the curtain, and this is followed with doors being shut on Jungkook, leaving him in darkness. Could Jin trying to be shut him out of the truth? Is Jungkook sacrificing himself to be like the child of Omelas? I personally don’t think that Jin knows that Jungkook is looking into his window. 
I’m not sure what else we’ll see, but I think it’s safe to say that Jungkook has entered Jin and V’s tangled web. 
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I love the background of this scene. It reflects the choreography, it brings me back to BS&T, AND kind of looks like a variant of “hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil”. They consistently cover their eyes, mouth, or ears during the choreography in the music video. It’s a quick and easy way to convey the mental anguish and struggle within the song. There are a couple other choreography cues that I will refer to later. 
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I’d like to get the color theory part of my explanation out of the way here. If you look at the scenes, they range from a plain almost sepia look to a psychedelic technicolor adjacent style. I think this is because we are passing the euphoric fated love of DNA and into the breaking point in Fake Love. The vibrant colors evoke a feeling of being in a dreamlike wonderland while the faded pastels/sepia tones give specific points of focus. We are being guided into their inner darkness. There is a lot to say for muted tones reflecting the mental state of the characters in a film. What comes to mind for me are films like: “Girl, Interrupted”, “Taxi Driver”, and “Fight Club”. Please note, all these examples have a plot that revolve around psychological themes.  
Going back to the first teaser, I’ll explain why I don’t think Jin is aware that Jungkook was watching him through one of his windows. When Jungkook got to the magic shop (styled as a confessional if you noticed) it wasn’t by his choice. He is the only member that really seems to be pushed in. He also doesn’t have anything to exchange on him, but he is given a key. Keys are a symbol of of opening and closing things of course. It can be used to lock something away or set something free. Keys also give us a feeling of security. 
However, looking past the keys for a second I wanted to pose the question of if this seems a little like a nod to Pandora’s box to anyone else? Pandora’s box is a Greek myth that essentially has grown to mean getting into a situation that involves big and unexpected troubles. Older more detailed texts explain it as Pandora opening a jar that released sickness, death, and many other evils into the world. Pandora tried to quickly close the jar, but when she did so the only thing she kept in the jar was a flicker of hope. It was meant to be a way to explain why bad things happen in the world.  Jungkook had no idea what troubles he is going to see moving forward. Is the key the last bit of hope to uncovering the truth and setting everyone free? Since he came empty handed will he be the traded object for everyone else to gain peace?
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Alright, from here we start diving deeper into the member’s individual fears. We’ve seen Jin trying to change the outcome of member’s story lines in Euphoria by looking through windows. I think this scene reflects Jin’s fear that some of these things might remain out of his control. There is only so much tampering that can be done, and not only is it stressful to not know if what you’ve changed is right, it’s hard to predict if your moves will make everything fall apart. In the center of it all, is the untold truth. Would it have been easier to face this truth if it was going to come to this anyway?
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RM’s scene contains rings and a mirror. The mirror comes from his song Reflection and writing “you need to survive” on the glass. The rings clearly resemble the hand grips that you would see passengers holding onto when standing on a bus. He is still caught between his old self, and the attraction to the girl on the bus in the Love Yourself Highlight Reel. It doesn’t matter how much he likes her. If he can’t accept himself, then it won’t last. The cinematography of Fake Love also flips between of nice parallel lines and then “dutch angles”. A dutch angle is a technique of tilting the camera so none of the angles in the scene are parallel with the bottom of the screen and is used to show psychological unrest/heavy tension in a scene. 
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J-Hope is locked in a room full of childish carnival themed props. If you go back in his story line you will find that his mother abandoned him as a child, only leaving him with a Snickers bar. As the music video goes on, we see Snickers bars falling coming through around where the key hole would be and eventually filling up most of the room. That is a very traumatic experience and of course it would result in some type of fear of abandonment. I’ve seen most people saying that the fake love for J-Hope is from his mother, and I think that’s very interesting. Side note that doesn’t really have much to do with anything in particular, but we’ve really entered a time where carnival gear like this is really haunting. Part of that for me is because I always relate carnivals to “The Cask of Amontillado” by Edgar Allan Poe. Although maybe I actually have something there. As with Poe’s short story, there’s no way to know if Jungkook isn’t leading himself to his own doom. Our setting certainly is one of a type of madness after all. Okay, off this tangent, I’m just a Poe fan.
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Jungkook has moved on from J-Hope’s scene to Jimin. We can see that he’s in the studio from the Love Yourself Highlight Reel. If you look even closer, the wall he’s in front of is his paradise picture of the trees. I also thought it was interesting that Jimin is interacting with a sink here. I looked up the symbolism for this one, and in dreams it is said that sinks show how our feelings are retained and turned on and off. A bathroom sink in particular signifies a personal desire to be more intimate and revealing of yourself. I spoke about the symbolism of water in Part 3 for Singularity. If we pair those ideas with the sink symbolism, essentially his emotions have been pent up for too long and will come rushing forward in an overwhelming way. I also recognize that this nods back to the time where Jimin was by himself in the bathtub or in the fish tank in the case of the Japanese version of songs. I also talked about in my Part 2 for Euphoria how he’s been left on his own in the hospital. Jimin has no feeling of freedom there, and the person he was closest to (J-Hope) has also left now. 
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Jungkook rises from this scene, and once again he and Jin’s movements mirror each other like they did in Euphoria. We also get a glimpse of the object Jin was protecting that held the Smeraldo flower. The flower has turned to sand. Sand is often a symbol meaning the passage of time, but it can also mean eventual destruction or elude to moments that are easily wiped away. Have we already seen the untold truth? Does it mean that everything is already falling apart? Maybe it’s a reference to Jin’s ability to alter things and that this too is just a moment that will be wiped away and changed?
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I’d also like to note that the closer Jungkook gets to his destination, the harder it is for him. This is a case of dutch angles being used to build tension in a scene. I also want to take a moment to note the pattern on the floor. This pattern is definitely from the DNA MV just based on the color choices and style. We see it in the hallway Jungkook runs down, and on the floor in Jimin and J-Hope’s sections of Fake Love.    
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From there we are brought into V’s scene. He is in this sort of tunnel hallway that is full of phones and empty pictures frames on the walls, but the back wall says “save me”. I saw somewhere that black picture frames symbolize an obsession of being perfect or a fear of not being perfect. I just think that’s an interesting tidbit of info, not sure it really sways the story line in any direction nor gives us much we didn’t already expect. 
V is holding a phone, which calls back (pun intended, please insert a windshield wiper laugh here) to the moment that he was trying to get a hold of RM who couldn’t answer the phone. The hallway is then lit up by the phones twinkling all around him. I’m guessing this is just exaggerating his fear of the call not going through by showing all the phones malfunctioning. 
It might be a reach, but I want to point out that these types of archways remind me of trains, as does the railing to the sides. In Spring Day, V was shown first at the train station.
I want to bring up Jimin a little here as well. Since the boys are exchanging their fears for something positive in the magic shop, I didn’t quite understand why Jimin got the umbrella. I know it shows up in the Highlight Reels, but that didn’t feel to me like a hopeful moment. No matter what Jimin does, he is always getting wet, and the umbrella has never protected him from water/his emotions. I honestly expected him to get a phone because that’s what he used to record J-Hope and the other girl’s practices to recreate the dances. It’s even mentioned in his album notes. Does it mean that no matter the outcome, Jimin is always at a disadvantage? Let me know what you think. 
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There is a moment where we cut back to RM, and Jungkook is on the other side of the mirror mimicking his movements. This isn’t the first time Jungkook acted as a mirror, in the choreography he also follows J-Hope’s movements during his segment.  This will eventually bring us to Suga. In his scene, he has a piano and a guitar in the room. The piano dates back through Wings, and the guitar has to do with the girl that gave him the lollipop. There is a lot about piano between Jungkook and Suga’s notes, and of course their story lines are intertwined throughout the music videos. There comes a point where Suga sets fire to his hotel room, but in Euphoria Jin sent Jungkook to save him. 
Fire is often linked to power and passion. Fire has the ability to cause both destruction and transformation. Much like water, it’s symbolism is pretty straight forward. 
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Now we’re at the part I wanted to bring up the choreography again. I talked about this for the Singularity analysis, and I see it here as well. The movements they are making are very much like puppetry. The arm movements when they step out side to side with their hands down is certainly like they are being controlled by string. I think it’s interesting that Jin is in the center here and they move according to his hand movements on either side of him as well. 
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Jungkook is almost at his destination now, this room is very peaceful despite the events that have been going on. I’ll bring up here that the only members that have had contact/reference with sand in this MV are Jin, V, and Jungkook. I’d like to expand the idea that sand is also a symbol that might mean the foundation you stand on is unstable. The basis of the way you think etc might not be set in reality, and something that you have buried in your subconscious is moving forward. The smeraldo has already turned to sand, but when Jungkook lets it spill from his hand there are remnants of the petals in the shadows on the wall. 
I call this part opening The Chamber of Secrets (I mean he probably knows parseltongue, he is the golden maknae). This is the point where everything begins to come foward: water, fire, snickers (lol). 
He enters the room with the hooded figure, who is standing in front of 6 coat racks (a nod to Singularity I’m sure). From there, we’re left unknowing what decisions will be made.
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I think it’s clear enough to see that a tie of some kind has been broken. We’ve certainly gone from the members lacing all of their hands together in DNA to perform a wave to falling apart. I can’t wait to see what comes next. 
BTS Analysis Part 1: Spring Day
BTS Analysis Part 2: Euphoria
BTS Analysis Part 3: Singularity
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miss-noo-na · 6 years
Text
“Dorm Love Affair” (V College AU) Part 1 of 2
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Part 2
Title: Dorm Love Affair
Featuring: V (BTS) x Reader
POV: 2nd
Rating: Mature. Smut including oral, sexting, dirty talk.
Summary: Not only did you have to put up with living in the rowdiest dorm on campus, you also have to live near resident fuckboy Kim Taehyung and his antics. Though you can’t help but wonder why he flirts with everyone but you.
Note: Hey remember when I said forever ago I was gonna write this? Here it is. Its ridiculously long so I’m separating it into 2 parts. Enjoy!
When you started college, you knew there’d be plenty to deal with. Exams, bad food, professors with a stick up their ass, group projects, lack of sleep; but the last thing you expected to deal with was getting placed on the “party floor”.
You were a junior, so you’d had time to get used to it, but that didn’t make the transition from summer to fall semester any less jarring.  People were always in the hall, meandering from room to room, talking too loud, drinking, and blasting music. You’d put in a bid to move 3 times and every time you were told that due to over-crowding and demand for dorm space, you’d either have to put up with it or move out. You refused to go back to your parents place and commute an hour to classes, and you didn’t exactly have the money to rent out on your own, so you dealt with it. You invested in earplugs, black-out curtains, and the art of avoiding conversation.
You weren’t a total stick in the mud, though. You liked your roommate, Sunny, who was slightly more low-key than the others on this floor.  She was the one that got you up and out when homework was stressing you. You’d go have a couple drinks down the street or just hang around the dorm, at times interacting with others but not everyone. There were still some people on this floor you couldn’t stand.
One of them was working his way down the hall now, just as you fidgeted with your keys to get in. You avoided eye contact, but for some reason peered up at the last moment. He smiled at you, but not a nice smile; a smug, eyebrow raising smile, and you dropped your keys.
You cursed under your breath and quickly snatched them up, and thought you heard him chuckle as he passed. You glared at his back.
Kim Taehyung was a piece of work. He sauntered around like he owned the floor, and hit on anything with a pulse, and of course most people would vie for his attention.  He was attractive, and charming, and had that sultry voice that he used to croon into an unsuspecting girls ear as she giggled and blushed. The problem was that he knew all these things about himself, and used it to his advantage. It disgusted you.
You’d only confided in Sunny about it one time, and never brought it up again after she accused you of being jealous. See, for every girl Taehyung would flirt with, which was every single girl that passed through this floor and hell, probably even this campus; he’d never tried it on you.
You weren’t even aware of it at first, you were consumed in your studies your first year or two, but the more social you became the more you noticed how he avoided you. He’d give you a look sometimes, like he did in the hall, and he might make a teasing comment, but he’d never take it any further.
You told yourself you didn’t care, that the thought of him coming onto you made your skin crawl. You did a lot of mental gymnastics to convince yourself of this.
This was especially difficult since you’d found yourself in a rut, lately. Throughout your time here at the dorm you’d had a fling here and there, dated casually, and had one boyfriend that lasted 6 months, but lately? Nothing, a total dry-spell, which only amplified your annoyance.
“What’s wrong with you?” Sunny asked from where she sat cross-legged on her bed over a notebook, before you even got your coat off.
“Why do you think there’s something wrong?”
“Well, I heard you cursing outside the door and you came in here with a grumpy look on your face, so usually that means something’s wrong.”
You waved a dismissive hand at her and started to unpack your bag.
“Nothing, I ran into Taehyung in the hall.” You said, and she tried to suppress a laugh unsuccessfully.
“What?” You snapped at her, and she shook her head.
“You’re still hung up on him?” She asked, and you made a face of revulsion at her, appalled at the accusation.
“Hung up on him? Give me a break.”
“Why does it bother you so much, then?” She asked, quirking an eyebrow and tapping her pencil on her notebook.
“It’s just annoying that he walks around like he owns the place, and everyone swoons over his every move.”
Sunny laughed again. “Maybe you’re just a little jealous you’re the only girl on this floor he hasn’t slept with.”
You shot her a look. “Are you saying you’ve slept with him?”
Sunny turned beet red and averted her eyes. “No! I mean, we made out once.” She smiled a little, and you groaned in disgust.
“Yeah, I feel real bad about being the only girl who hasn’t swapped saliva with every other girl on this floor via Kim Taehyung’s mouth.”
“Whatever.” Sunny mumbled, clearly feeling embarrassed now about what she’d just revealed to you, and you had to admit you were judging her just a little.
Once you were unpacked you tackled your homework for the night, then crawled into bed early and fantasized about the weekend ahead. You didn’t have any plans; you were just relieved you were going to get 2 days off. Maybe you’d get lucky and be able to sleep in? The thought alone relaxed you into rest.
Your days went about as usual, a blur of classes and homework, and you forgot all about Kim Taehyung and the fact he’d groped your roommate at one time. However, this peace did not last long.
“A party?” You whined, shoulders and arms going slack.
“You haven’t done anything fun with me in weeks, months even!” Sunny said as she explained that the whole floor was going to be involved in the shenanigans. Your dreams of a peaceful weekend slowly faded away. Even if you stayed in, there’s no way the noise would let you properly enjoy it.
Besides, Sunny had a point. You were never going to get out of this rut if you wallowed away in bed all weekend. You had to do something besides go to class and sleep.
“Fine.” You murmured, crossing your arms, and Sunny clapped her hands together. “Perfect!”
It’d been so long since you put on make-up you were worried you’d forgotten how, but it all slowly came back to you, even if you had to re-do your eyeliner 3 times before you got the wing right. Your clothing was fashionable yet modest, and suited you and the occasion.
You started out in someone’s dorm, an acquaintance that was doling out beers and playing music. You sat on the floor with your back against one of the beds and Sunny sat next to you. You and the others in the room, some you knew and some you didn’t, chatted idly and laughed, and you were surprised to say you were having a good time.  It was low-key, and just what you needed.
That was until the door burst open and a sea of people from the hall spilled in, already far more drunk than you were. It was a typical event during these parties, where doors were opened and the entire floor was involved. This is why you usually went out on these nights.
Sunny pulled you into the fray of it; music was blaring from some unknown source and drowned out most of the talking.  It was crowded in the hall and the dorm rooms were worse. Sunny brought you more alcohol from some source and you sipped it leisurely.  You didn’t mind partying, but this whole “crammed together in a dorm” thing was obnoxious and honestly not very fun.
You needed some air and told Sunny you’d be right back. She told you to text her if you needed anything, or more like screamed it into your ear. You nodded and pushed your way down the hall. Luckily, the further you went the more it opened up, until you were in the floor’s lounge area, which was surprisingly empty.
You collapsed down on one of the couches and sighed. It was dimply lit; only one lamp in the corner on, and the TV was off. You could still hear the music thumping in the distance but it was remarkably quiet where you sat, and you enjoyed the moment.
“Hey.”
You jumped at the sound of a deep voice to your right, head snapping around to see Taehyung standing there, hands in his pockets.
“Hey.” You said uneasily, brow knitting together. He circled the couch and sat next to you.
“Mind if I join you?” He asked.
“Looks like you already have.”
He chuckled as his eyes scanned you, and you felt increasingly uncomfortable.
“Well, I always think it’s a shame to leave pretty girls by themselves.”
You swallowed hard, a strange mixture of emotions coursing through you when you looked at his face and listened to his voice. You should have been completely put-off by the comment, and you were, partially. Yet there was this teensy, tiny part of you that had enjoyed it. Were you really that starved for affection?
The fact you’d felt anything at all annoyed you, and you glared at him.
“Look, I came over here to be alone. I don’t need your lame compliments or company.” You snapped, and his face changed.
“Geez, I only came over here because Sunny asked me to. She said you were lonely.”
You were going to throttle Sunny.
“I just thought I’d do you a favor.”
It could have been the annoyance turning into anger, with a little bit of bravery supplied by alcohol that was responsible for what you said next.
“Go fuck yourself.”
You stood and left the lounge in a huff, not even waiting for his reaction. Maybe it was harsh, but come on, doing you a favor by talking to you? What kind of pompous dick says a thing like that?
When you returned to the crowded hall you made it your mission to find Sunny. You got some dirty looks and a few scoffs at the way you pushed through people, but you didn’t really care right now. When you found her, talking to some guy, you tapped her arm and waited, impatiently, for her to address you. When she saw your face, she knew.
“What the hell are you doing?” You shouted in both frustration and because the music was still loud. Sunny sighed and pulled you toward your room, the only one that was locked, and shut the door behind the both of you.
“Listen, I can explain.” She raised her hands defensively and you thought you might explode. You couldn’t remember the last time you were this mad at anyone.
“Please do, I’d really like to know why you have me out here looking like a fool.” You said, calming your voice some.
“I know you’ve been in a funk lately and I just thought if Taehyung hit on you, you’d get some confidence.”
You closed your eyes and inhaled deeply.
“So you’re telling me you asked someone to pity me, and thought that would help my confidence?”
“Well, when you put it like that…” Sunny trailed, looking at the floor. You realized through the course of the conversation that she probably hadn’t meant to hurt you, she was just a little misguided on how she thought to help you.  That didn’t stop you from being angry, though.
You dropped your arms and tried to relax your temper. “I know you mean well, but can you please never do anything like that again?”
Sunny looked relieved, and crossed the room to hug you. You softened under her warmth and hugged her back, even though you were still annoyed.
“I promise. Do you want to go back out? Maybe scope out someone else?” She asked, and you laughed a little.
“I think I’m good for the night, you go have fun. Text me if you need me.”
With that, Sunny nodded and left the room, and you locked it behind her knowing she could get in with her key later. You collapsed on the bed and pulled a pillow over your face, thnking you were more upset with yourself than her, because for a very short second you had actually believed Taehyung, and felt flattered by it.
You changed into your PJs and curled up in bed, putting in your headphones and booting up your laptop to watch some Netflix. You could still feel the bass thumping outside the room, but you learned to ignore it. Over time, it started to wind down, much earlier than you thought it would, but perhaps an RA had come through to shut everything down. You texted Sunny to make sure she was okay, and she assured you she was hanging out in the dorm you’d been in earlier.
A moment later, another text came through, but it wasn’t Sunny this time. It was an unknown number.
Unknown (1:46 AM): Hey
You stared at your phone, knowing you hadn’t given anyone your number recently, and you wondered if you should bother texting back. After a minute or two, your curiosity got the best of you.
You (1:50 AM): Hey who is this??
Unknown: (1:51 AM): its tae
You felt your whole body flush cold.
You (1:53 AM): How did you get my number??
Unknown (1:55 AM): a little birdie told me ;)
“Fucking winky face” You thought, was this boy for real right now? And it better not had been Sunny who gave away your number.
You (1:57 AM): What do you want??
Unknown (2:00 AM): I wasn’t going to text you but the way you dipped out on me earlier kind of stuck with me
“Here we go”, You thought. Again, maybe you were harsh but did he have to get butthurt about it?
Unknown (2:02 AM): ive never had a girl act that way toward me. It was kind of hot
You squeezed a tight grip on your phone and felt a strange stirring in your stomach.
You (2:04 AM): Clearly you have issues
Unknown (2:06 AM): maybe, but I think you have some of your own
You (2:07 AM): What is that supposed to mean??
Unknown (2:09 AM): sunny  did explain it to me a little. has it really been 6 months since you’ve gotten laid?
You felt your blood boiling, coursing hot in your veins, but it also warmed your face and casted a blush over your cheeks. You’d never experienced such a contrast of emotions.
You (2:13 AM): This conversation is over
Unknown (2:15 AM): aw cmon babydoll, don’t be that way.
You felt your breath quickening as you read the last text, then read it over again a few more times. Every time your eyes scanned the word babydoll you felt a strange ache inside.
Unknown (2:17 AM): y’know, I wouldn’t mind volunteering my services. after going that long without, I bet I could have you screaming my name in no time
You (2:18 AM): Goodbye
You threw the phone away from you, not wanting to read the text again because you definitely felt the distinct rush of arousal all through your body, but especially between your legs. There was no way you were going to allow yourself to feel that way. Not about Kim fucks-anything-that-moves Taehyung.
You forced yourself to bed, and the next morning had almost forgotten about the texts until you’d seen the unread ones.
Unknown (2:20 AM):  alright, alright. If you change your mind, you know where to find me ;)
Goddamn winky face again.
You spent your Sunday catching up on homework and trying to keep Taehyung out of your mind, but he did pop up on occasion, and not in the way you’d have liked. You reconciled with yourself that yes, he was attractive. However, admitting that didn’t mean you wanted to bone him.
The next week was off to a decent start, you were ahead on your assignments and you’d forgiven Sunny after she’d bought you a cupcake when you had lunch together. You asked her about giving out your number and she swore up and down that she hadn’t, and you believed her. You managed to avoid Taehyung and hadn’t laid eyes on him since the weekend.
On Wednesday night, finishing up a paper, you got a text.
Unknown (10:19 PM): heyyy
You signed and ignored it, going back to your editing. Your phone vibrated against the desk again.
Unknown (10:22 PM): listen im a litt drunk
Oh lord.
Unknown (10:23 PM): I know you hate me or whatever but man I bet the sex would be amazeing
You glared at the screen, and hated the clench you felt in your gut when you read that.
You (10:25 PM): You’re drunk on a Wednesday night?
Unknown (10:26 PM): what I cant let off some steam in the middle of the week?
You (10:28 PM): Do you, I guess. Doesn’t mean I need to hear about it.
Unknown (10:30 PM): hey so you wanna know what else sunny told me that night?
You really, really did not want to know what else your friend had blabbed to him that night, but he was going to tell you anyway.
Unknown (10:32 PM): she was going on about how I never hit on you and she thinks its making yu insecure or something idk point is theres actually a reason for that
Though you didn’t like what Sunny had implicated to him, you were intrigued.
Unknown (10:34 PM): we don’t even kno each other that wll and thas partially becase you scare the shit out of me
You actually smiled to yourself reading that, not sure why you were so proud of that fact.
Unknown (10:36 PM): like forreal remember when we took that lit class together? Every time you spoke up in that class I felt like an idiot and like you would just decimate me if I ever tried any sly shit around you
You (10:37 PM): You’re not wrong.
Okay, maybe you were enjoying this a little too much and it was giving you a big head. Still, there was something deeply satisfying about hearing this confession.
Unknown (10:40 PM): but yknow what? I still think you should give me a chance
You quirked your eyebrow at the screen.
You (10:42 PM): A chance for what??
Unknown (10:45 PM): get to know me?  talk to me? And then eventually let me put my face between your legs
That time there was no feeling of revulsion, not even a tiny bit. You just blushed and felt heat rising up from your core as a mental image flashed across your brain.
You (10:47 PM): I’ll think about it
You didn’t believe you’d actually typed those words but who were you kidding? He’d somehow won you over, at least for now. Flattering your intelligence and admitting he was disarmed by you had only made him more attractive. And he was right, it had been 6 long months since you’d gotten laid, your brain might not be firing correctly.
Then again, he was drunk, and he might not even remember all of this in the morning.
Unknown (10:48 PM): that’s what I like to hear
You rolled your eyes, but you were also smiling.
To your surprise, he had remembered the conversation, and he preceded to text you every day for the rest of the week. He was always flirtatious, but he was funny, too and sometimes even interesting. You tried not to make much of the feelings you were developing, as you knew it would be a mistake to view him as a potential romantic partner. You didn’t need that in your life, anyhow. But you did know what you truly needed, and he seemed down to give it to you.
Taehyung (11:11 PM): you should come by, my roommate is out
You shifted your eyes around the room, landing on Sunny studying in her corner.
You (11:13 PM): You sure??
You don’t know why you asked that.
Taehyung (11:14 PM): I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t sure lol
You (11:15 PM): Okay, give me a minute.
You got up and started to re-dress, and Sunny turned and gave you a curious look.
“Where are you going this late?”
Despite it being a Saturday night, she knew you didn’t go out unless you had a reason to, and usually she was tagging along.
“I uh…just remembered that there’s a group project due on Monday, they want to meet up for some last minute stuff.”
She stared at you for a long moment, you could tell she didn’t believe you, but she didn’t question it either.
“Alright, make sure you have your key.” She said as she turned back to her book, as if she knew you were going to be out late.
You grabbed a hoodie and left the dorm, making your way down some winding halls to where you knew Taehyung’s dorm was. As you stared at the door, you thought about turning back and forgetting about it, but your body was screaming at you to continue, so you knocked.
“Hey.” He smiled warmly at you, stepping back to invite you in.
It was a typical college boy’s dorm, though a lot cleaner than you had anticipated. On Taehyung’s side of the room, he had art prints on the walls and collage of Polaroid photos stuck to a cork board. As you came closer, you examined the photos and recognized some faces as well as landscapes and random objects. They were actually quite good.
He offered you a seat on his bed, since there wasn’t anywhere else, really, and he sat at his office chair, facing you.
“Sooo..” You said, glancing around the room, trying to find something interesting to focus on. When you looked back at Taehyung, he had a slight smile still present over his mouth.
“Bet you didn’t think you’d end up here, huh?” He asked, and you could tell inside he was laughing. You wanted to be annoyed by it, but he was right.
You shrugged, feigning nonchalance. “People change their minds.”
“I charmed you.”
You raised an eyebrow. “Charmed me?”
“Well, what would you call it?”
“I call it ‘started talking to me like a person and not out of pity, and revealed yourself to be maybe half-way decent.” You explained with a grin, and he laughed, nodding in agreement.
“Okay then that works.” He said, then stood and slid down next to you on the bed “Though, we have to work on that ‘maybe’ part.”
“Oh?” You asked, though your voice trembled ever so slightly as you felt his warmth close to your side.
“Yeah, I’m way more than decent. I would even say I’m damn good.”
You had a feeling he wasn’t talking about his personality anymore, and you said the first thing that came to mind
“Prove it.”
A smile broke out of his face and he bit his lower lip, eyelids fluttering as he leaned into you. You sucked in a breath just as he took your mouth with his own. Your eyes fell shut and you realized how long it’d been since you’d been kissed, and kissed like this especially. He was slow and deliberate in his movement, the supple flesh melding into yours, closer and closer until his tongue found its way inside. You angled your head and he got deeper, rolling his tongue over yours and making you moan into his mouth.  
“I’d be happy to, if you mean it.” He said low against your moistened lips, and you took in a strained breath, nodding your head.
“Hmm, I’m going to have to hear you say it.”
God damn him.
“Yes.” You said in a faint voice, and he grinned triumphantly before he was suddenly kneeling in front of you. He slid his hands up across your thighs and to your front buttons, undoing them with deft hands and tugging your pants down.  You raised your hips as he pulled them all the way off your legs.
“Lay back.”
You felt your arms shaking as his deep voice commanded you, and you let your upper body fall back against the mattress. He gently parted your legs and knelt between them, trailing kisses on the insides of your thighs. When he got to the top, he nuzzled his face against your soft, clothed core and you shuddered.
“Mmm.” He hummed against you, and you felt the vibrations. He took his two fingertips and slid them under the side of your underwear, pulling them completely over to the other side so that you were bare to him. You brought your hands up to your chest in clenched fists, feeling exposed and chilly and nervous, yet aroused.
The two fingers trailed away from the underwear and over your slit, just barely parting them, and he hummed again, satisfied with the traces of wetness he found there.
“I haven’t even touched you yet.” He teased, and you blushed, some of that annoyance with him trying to creep up on you. It was completely squashed when you felt his mouth, warm and wet, encase you, his tongue drawing lazily over your clit and folds. Your head tilted back and you let out a yelp, causing him to laugh low against you.
“When was the last time someone made you feel this good?” He asked as he pulled back, and your eyes snapped open.
“What?” You breathed, wondering why he’d stopped just to blab to you more.
“I’m just curious if you’re always this sensitive. I hope so.”
“Will you shut up?”
He chuckled as he swooped back in, and your eyes slammed shut once more. You weren’t sure if it was just because it had been so long, but he was every bit as good as he said he was, and now you understood why girls fell all over themselves to get with him.
You felt your knees rising back on their own, and he didn’t miss this, bringing his hands to press on your inner thighs, widening your legs and giving him even more access. Little moans kept tumbling out of you as he worked you closer and closer to release, the way his tongue was able to roll and massage over the most sensitive areas without missing a beat had your back arching and your hips twitching in pleasure.
You started to pant, and your fists tightened more, your nails leaving marks on your palms.  You felt like you needed something to hold onto and dropped your arms as your hands traveled to his head. You stroked your fingers through his hair and on a particularly wonderful lap of his tongue they gripped the locks tight to his scalp. If you’d been in your right mind, you might have worried about hurting him, but instead he let out a low growl and his tongue moved more rapidly to bring you toward the mounting release.
“Oh, Tae…” You moaned wantonly, and he returned the plea with his own moan against your skin, that only added to your pleasure. Your back arched further, hips rising toward his mouth as your orgasm crashed into you with a splutter of whines.  As you came down off the peak, your body shuddered hard and your legs were shaking.  Taehyung released you after you were spent, and kissed your trembling thighs.
Your brain was still in a fog. You meant to sit up, but instead Taehyung crawled up the bed and lay down next to you. In a surprisingly sweet gesture, he reached over and stroked your face.
“Your cheeks are red.” He grinned, feeling proud of himself. You moved your head away and felt a little embarrassed, adjusting your under garments and pressing your thighs together. He watched you, but you couldn’t really decipher the soft expression on his face.
You happened to glance down and noted the bulge in his pants. You were all too delighted that pleasuring you had turned him on, and it was only fair to repay him the favor.
You reached down and smoothed your palm over his hard length, and wanted to die when you realized that even though fabric you could tell he was thick. You sank your teeth into your bottom lip and gave him an enticing look.
He reached down and took you by your wrist and removed your hand.
“It’s okay.”
You were confused, and pulled your arm back.
“I just thought-“
“Maybe you should get going.”
You blinked at him as he rolled over and sat up, going to his desk without another glance or word. Mortification washed over you as you silently got up off the bed and redressed, and Taehyung didn’t even walk you to the door.
On the shameful walk back to your dorm, you felt a stinging at the back of your eyes, and couldn’t believe you might actually cry. It wasn’t like you expected some kind of romantic tryst, and if he didn’t want to go any further with you that was fine, too. It was just the utterly cold way he had dismissed your presence after being intimate with him that stung hard. You hadn’t been that vulnerable with anyone in months, and the first time you did this happened.
But what did you expect? You’d known for ages that he had a reputation, so why should it surprise you?
Maybe it was all the silly conversations at 2AM, many of which weren’t even sexual. Maybe it was the fact he’d actually made you laugh and smile a couple times, in a warm, happy way.
It was definitely your own fault for trusting that, though. How stupid of you to believe it.
You were glad Sunny was already in bed when you got back, because you just knew she’d be hounding you about where you went and why you came back looking so dejected. You forced yourself to sleep despite how the regret of the night weighed heavily on you.
He had attempted to text you the next day, and the day after, as casually as ever. You ignored them, and sneered at your phone any time you saw his name pop up, though you still hadn’t brought yourself to delete the number.
On the 3rd day, he finally took note of your silence.
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joohoneyhoe · 6 years
Text
Push and Pull| Fifteen
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[song inspiration: BTS - Hold Me Tight]
|Chapter One| |Chapter Two| |Chapter Three| |Chapter Four| |Chapter Five| |Chapter Six| |Chapter Seven| |Chapter Eight| |Chapter Nine| |Chapter Ten| |Chapter Eleven| |Chapter Twelve| |Chapter Thirteen| |Chapter Fourteen| |Chapter Fifteen| |Chapter Sixteen|
pairing: Jimin x oc x Jaebum genre: smut, angst, cheating, edging, oral, dirty talk, regret word count: 3.5k a/n: Isolde spent three years with Jimin after meeting him by chance in a dance studio. He was perfect and he loved her, she thought he was the one she’d spend the rest of her life with. That all crumbles when he decides he wants to please his parents and leave her so he can be with someone like him. Isolde is plummeted into turmoil and leaves her job as a choreographer to move back home to the states. A mutual friend named Im Jaebum reaches out to console her, lift her back up from her fragile state. It’s a push and pull tug between what she thought she had and what she could have.
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Jaebum guided me out of the restroom, his soft palm pressed against my lower back as my mind reeled at the situation I had found myself in. He found an empty couch in a far off corner, secluded from everyone and everything. He helped me sit without stepping on my dress, then squatted down in front of me, hands on my knees as those beautiful orbs roamed my face.
“Is, are you okay?” he questioned softly, thumbs rubbing the inside of my knees. I nodded yes, eyes downcast as I picked at my fingernail polish. I could feel the tears running down my face again, no doubt my makeup was a wreck now. I’m not sure there was any fixing it at this point.
“Is, I–I’m sorry about what I said back there to him. I shouldn’t–I shouldn’t have even responded. I’m sorry. That was…beyond wrong for me to even disclose to him at all. It was just, seeing him…pinning you against the wall like that, tears streaming down your cheeks, made me so angry. It took everything I had not to yank him away from that wall and bust open those lips everyone loves so much. Break that perfect nose, blacken those eyes, so that every time he looked in the mirror, he’d be reminded of what he did to you. I’m sorry, I can’t say that enough.” he apologized, resting his chin on my leg. I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly before taking my fingers through his hair carefully.
“Jaebum, it’s okay.” I answered simply, fingers moving down to cup his cheek.
“What can I do to make this better? I’ll do whatever you need me to do, Isolde. Anything.” bending forward, I kissed his lips and then rested my forehead to his. I closed my eyes and focused on his breathing, letting it calm my nerves as best as I could. He always had a way of soothing my anxiety, even if he didn’t realize he was doing it. He was my safety net.
“I need to just…sit here alone for a bit, Jae. I want to clear my head before I have to go back out there and face everyone.” he stood up, took my face in his palms and kissed my forehead lovingly, his lips soft against my skin. My fingers wrapped around his wrist, leaning into his kiss, eyes closing.
“Whatever you need, baby. Come back when you’re ready, I’ll be there, waiting. I love you.” my tears continued their seemingly carved path down my cheeks, eyes blurry and burning.
“I love you, Im Jaebum.” he gave me a small smile and walked away, me watching until he was out of my line of sight. I let out a deep sigh, turning my eyes to focus on the cold city outside the large window behind the couch I was perched on. 
I don’t know how much time had passed as I stared out the window, it seemed that my mind had completely shut down. The only thing I could think about, was Jimin’s face as the door had shut behind me. Tears filling his dark, emotion filled eyes, plump lips parted as he held back his sorrow. I quickly wiped my eyes, ashamed of myself for even letting his behavior effect me the way it was. It was maddening.
“Isolde?” my head spun around to find Suran standing in front of me. I hadn’t seen her just as long as I hadn’t seen Jimin. I missed her, so much.
She looked absolutely stunning in her long, form fitting black silk gown, her mint green hair flowing freely down her shoulders. I always thought she was the most beautiful friend I had, and she didn’t even have to try. She just was. She took a seat beside me, pulling me in for a long overdue hug.
“I missed you, Suran.” I whispered into her hair, her embrace warming my cool skin. She set back, taking my hands into hers as she took in my disheveled appearance before reaching up to swipe her thumb under my eyes, removing the smeared makeup there.
“I noticed Jaebum came back without you, and Jimin still hadn’t come back either, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Are you?” she inquired, her expression worried, yet sympathetic. 
“I’m fine. I am. It–it was just seeing him for the first time in over a year…it was a lot harder than I expected it to be. Jarring, to say the least.” I told her, eyes down on our hands as a moment of silence passed between us.
“Did Jimin come looking for you?” she finally asked.
“No. Just Jae, making sure I was alright. I didn’t even know Jimin had left his seat.” I lied, still not meeting her gaze. She brought me back in for one more hug, comforting me. I think she knew I was lying, but she didn’t push, just embraced me. I let her hug me as long as she deemed necessary, head resting on her shoulder as her hand caressed my exposed back.
“You know where I am if you need me, Isolde.” she reminded me, releasing her hold on me and standing up. I nodded, giving her a forced smile. “I’m glad you’re back. I love you.” she didn’t wait for my response, just turned on her heels and left. 
I felt my heart pounding in my chest, the realization that Jimin hadn’t returned to his seat hitting me full force, meaning he left without telling anyone. Guilt coursed through me, my chest beginning to ache in panic, making me shoot up from my seat to head towards the entrance. I ran outside, dress and purse clutched in my hands, trying to keep from tripping, eyes searching frantically for a cab. I saw one parked across the street and darted out to catch it before it drove off. Tapping on the window, he rolled it down, a look of confusion on his face as he eyed my attire and lack of coat in the cold.
“I need a ride to the BigHit building, please.” I begged, holding myself as I began to shiver. He simply nodded, starting up the car as he unlocked the door. I scurried into the backseat, part of my dress ripping in the process, but I could have cared less at this point. I just needed to get to Jimin and I knew exactly where he would be. I only hoped that by some miracle, I still had clearance.
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Memories flooded my mind as I walked down the all too familiar hallways of BigHit, making my breath quicken as I picked up my pace. As soon as Suran had said Jimin hadn’t returned to his seat, I knew exactly where he had gone. The only place he would go when he was upset, to do the only thing that made him feel better. 
Dance.
My feet carried me closer and closer to the practice room, music finding my ears as I approached. I realized it was Spring Day that I was hearing as I came upon the door, carefully pushing it open. And there was Jimin, his suit jacket having long been discarded, shirt opened up further, displaying his glistening chest. 
His bangs were damp, dripping with sweat as he moved with the melody, the choreography perfect, as always. He was so wrapped up in the music, he didn’t even realize I had come in, so I simply watched. I watched as he put his all into his choreo, no restrictions or people to get in his way. Just Jimin, the empty room and the music. 
Watching him reminded me of all the nights I’d spent here with him, just like this. All those nights long gone, but not forgotten. I began to cry again as I remained by the door, holding my arms, feeling my cold fingers against my equally cold skin. How had I gotten here, like this, caught between two people I cared about, more than I cared about myself. 
I heard the song coming to a close, looking up to find Jimin on his knees, like he would be in the choreography, but his eyes locked on me instead of the floor. I could feel the tension in the room, thick and heavy with sadness and regret. Neither of us moved, spoke or even dared to breath, our eyes just remained glued to one another. Slowly he stood up from his position on the floor, taking the remote to the sound system from his back pocket, turning off the music entirely.
He very carefully began his approach, his steps deliberate, but hesitant all at once. I remained where I was, not sure what I was going to do when he reached me. Finally, he stood before me, tears raining down from his eyes as he stepped closer, gently taking my face into his palms. I leaned into his caress immediately, my body remembering his touch like it was etched into my very being.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Isolde.” he chanted over and over, leaning our foreheads together, his tears mixing with mine. My arms reached out to grip the front of his shirt, sobs rolling through my chest as I touched him for the first time in so long. His lips kissed every inch of my face he could, stepping closer until I was flush against his front.
“I can’t live without you. I tried. I can’t do it, Isolde. Leaving you was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my entire life. If I could take it all back, I would. I’ve tried to move on, I have and I thought I did. But, then you came back and how much I truly loved you, hit me like a fucking train.” he choked out, fingers entangling into my hair, lips trembling. My hands moved up to his neck, holding it as I fell into the dark pools of his eyes, all over again. My heart felt like it physically ached in my chest, like it was actually splitting in two.
“I love you. I love you more than I love anything in this world, and I know how selfish of me it is to ask you to love me back. I know how selfish I’ve been about this the whole time, how wrong I’ve been. I didn’t want you to move on, to love someone else, to BE with someone else. I want you all to myself and I know that’s wrong. I’m an idiot, Isolde. I don’t deserve you, I know that now.” the sincerity behind his words hit me like a ton of bricks, severely clouding my better judgment.
Instead of responding, I tilted my chin up and pressed my lips to his, weaving my fingers into his hair. His hands flew to my hips, instantly deepening the kiss, his tongue finding mine, stroking it. He began to pull me towards the mirrored wall, slamming me against it once we were close enough. I clung to him as if he were life itself, and if I let go, I would suffocate. I heard the tear of fabric, him splitting my dress down the back at the zipper, beginning to remove it from my body.
“I hate this dress. I hate everything it represents. I hate how perfectly it fits you, like it was picked out by someone familiar with your body in every way possible. Someone who wasn’t me and as wrong as it is, I hate the idea of that. You should have been beside me tonight, in the most gorgeous black dress that would hug every perfect curve of your body. Your skin exposed, but what’s underneath only being for me, my eyes, my hands, my mouth.” he growled into my ear, fingers sliding the dress down my shoulders, the fabric catching my nipples, causing them to stiffen. Jimin took notice, tongue running from corner to corner of his bottom lip.
I reached out, gripping each side of his shirt and tearing it open, buttons flying in every direction, littering the scuffed floor. I shoved it off of his shoulders, hearing a tearing sound as I jerked it off his arms. His lip curled, hands moving behind me to grab my ripped dress and tear it almost completely in half, making it pool at my feet. A whimper left my throat as his hands dragged slowly along my freed skin, skimming my clothed core. My legs jerked at the contact, making him smirk.
“Time for these to go so I can taste you. It’s been far too long.” he whispered against the shell of my ear as he hooked his thumbs into my panties, pulling them downward until he was on his knees in front of me. My breath caught in my chest at the sight of him bare chested, hooded eyes examining every bit of flesh in his view, fingers mapping it out behind them. He pulled off my high heels, helping me step down at the loss of height with each foot, palms caressing my calves.
“Jimin,” I pleaded softly, touching his soft head of blonde hair as he pressed his full lips against my thigh, inching towards my sex. “Shh, be patient. I want to cherish every single second of this, Isolde.” he explained, gently putting one of my legs over his shoulder, blowing a puff of cool air across my mound. I let my head fall back against the mirror, squeezing my eyes shut.
“Isolde,” he called, hand resting on the thigh that was propped up on his shoulder. I looked down, my heart skipping a beat.
“eyes on me.” 
He directed quietly, slowing inching towards my heat as he maintained eye contact. His mouth brushed my folds, watching my reaction before his tongue moved past his lips, flattening out and running up the length of me. I moaned at the contact, keeping eye contact as he lapped at me slowly, teasingly. 
“You still taste so sweet.” he praised before delving his tongue back in roughly, eyes closing as his nose nudged my clit. I grabbed onto his hair, letting out whines as he worked me over, with even more skill than he previously had. I could see the tent in his dress slacks from his growing erection, making me even wetter at the sight. He brought two fingers up and pushed them into me, his tongue vigorously working my throbbing bundle of nerves.
“Shit-Jimin!” I cried out, still refusing to remove my eyes from him. He glanced up at me, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth right before curling his fingers inside me. My back instantly arched off the mirror as he successfully hit my g-spot. He continued, sucking my clit between his lips, making me cry out again. 
He kept his pace, the impending doom of my high threatening to rip through me, all over his fingers and tongue. He jerked away, removing his digits abruptly and standing to his feet. His left hand landed on the mirror next to my head, his other hand bringing the two fingers that were inside me to his lips. They disappeared into his mouth, tongue wrapping around each finger, licking it clean.
“I was so close.” I panted, feeling droplets of sweat roll between my shoulder blades.
“I know. But, I want you to cum on my cock, like you’re meant to.” he informed me as he removed the last bit of his clothing. His hands gripped my thighs with force, picking me up. I wrapped myself around him without any hesitation, kissing him with such passion, it brought a gasp out of him. He pushed into me easily, my arousal coating him as he stretched me. 
“Fuck, you feel so good. I’ve missed you. I’ve missed this.” he trailed wet open mouthed kisses along my neck, then bit down harshly. I began to rut against him, urging him to move and he obeyed. Hips collided, echoing in the otherwise silent practice room. Our moans mingled, bouncing off the walls, urging us forward as our bodies synced up perfectly.
“Goddammit, Jimin, I missed you.” I admitted before bringing my mouth down to slant over his, tangling our wet muscles as he pounded me into the mirror. My nails raked down his back, the skin there welting and raising almost right away. A snarl tore through him, lips detaching and moving down to capture my nipple. My fingers raked through his hair, tugging and pulling as his tongue flicked away at the sensitive bud.
“I’m close-Jimin-please!” I exclaimed, trying to tug his mouth away from me desperately. He let go with a lewd pop, bringing his forehead to mine, staring at me intensely.
“I love hearing my name fall from your lips. Your desperate pleas to cum make me weak.” I ground my hips against his, electric shooting through me, my core throbbing. He sped up his movements, thumb finding my bud and beginning to circle it roughly. The pressure alone made me come undone, my climax roaring through me, my release spilling onto his cock as tears leaked from the corners of my eyes in relief. 
“Oh, God! Shit-Jimin!” I sobbed, still rutting against him as his orgasm came, cum painting my still pulsing walls. He let out a loud groan, my name mixed in between curses as he rode out his high with me. 
When we finally stilled, he didn’t release me as his member became soft, simply held me in place as we caught our breath. His lips kissed my jaw, cheekbones, eyelids, nose, everything within his reach. I played with his drenched hair, relishing the feeling of those soft, sinful lips on my flushed skin.
“I should let you down, though I don’t want to.” he confessed before carefully pulling out, helping me drop to my feet. My legs were like jelly, making me stumble slightly, but he quickly steadied me. After he was certain I was stable, he sank to the floor, his back against the mirrors. His fingers wrapped around my wrist, tugging me down to sit on his lap. My arms encircled his waist, head resting under his chin as he stroked my hair. 
I don’t know how long we sat in silence, just listening to the sound of each other’s breathing evening out, it seemed like hours. I kissed across the expanse of his chest, enjoying the familiarity of it. The situation weighed in heavily for both of us, making my heart ache all over again.
“I love you, Isolde. I don’t know where to even go from here. We’ve hurt a lot of people by doing what we just did, but nothing has ever felt more right. I’ve never felt so conflicted in my entire life. What do we do?” he questioned, his hold around me tightening instinctively. I let my breath out, closing my eyes and burying my face into his neck.
“I don’t know, Jimin. I don’t know.”
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I walked out of BigHit in Jimin’s black Puma sweatshirt and sweats, shoes, clutch and shredded dress in hand. I was a mess and not just in appearance. My heart was tugging two separate ways, guilt pulsing through my veins. I was being pushed and pulled in two directions, and I didn’t know which way to go. I felt selfish for doing what I did, but then again, I didn’t.
My eyes wandered the empty streets, landing on a lone figure sitting on the curb in a black suit. The shoulders alone told me who it was, my heart sinking, legs shaking in shame as I looked down at the man.
Jaebum.
He didn’t turn to look at me, though there was no doubt in my mind that he knew I was there. I swallowed hard, my feet carrying me to the man I had said I loved just hours earlier. I took a seat next to him, setting my things aside as I hugged my knees to my chest. The cement was cold beneath my bare feet, almost painful, but it was nothing compared to the pain in my chest. 
I expected him to yell, to scream at me, tell me what an awful person I was. But, he didn’t. He simply sat there, looking at his long fingers. I couldn’t hold back anymore, I burst into tears, my hands flying up to cover my eyes.
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Jaebum! I don’t know what to do and I’m so confused. I-I,” I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders, pulling me into his side and holding me close. I felt his lips against my hair, kissing the crown of my head over and over as I sobbed into his chest. What kind of monster was I, that I could do this to someone who had only ever brought light to my dark world. Picked me up and held my hand, so I wouldn’t be alone.
“Is, I love you. I love every part of you, good and bad. I know what Jimin did to you, and I know how much you loved him. I think he loved you just as much, though his idea of showing you was all wrong. I can’t imagine the pull he has on you, Is. I can only try. But, if you love him, I could never ask you stay with me. I couldn’t be the one to take that happiness from you, even if it’s at the cost of my own. You deserve to be loved, worshipped, put first and I think we both want to do that. If you chose him, I won’t be angry with you, I never could be. I’ll support your choice and love you the same, even if it’s only from afar.” all I could do was cry harder at his words, clinging to him.
“I’m sorry…” I apologized again, the words barely audible. He kissed my forehead, his cold nose meeting the skin there.
“It’ll be okay, Is. It’ll be okay.”
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wtf-taeyong · 7 years
Note
hi hello!!! i literally live for your angst bc it makes me hurt and i LOVE the pain (pls accept my pain as a token of my affection
“Don’t be fucking stupid,” Jimin spat harshly in your direction. His hands were tied - both literally and figuratively - and panic was rising in his throat as fast as bile. He had never been in such a draining and compromising position in his entire life and his entire being screamed out at him for letting it get like this.
You weren’t faring much better than he was. 
The two of you were both tied to chairs that were secured back to back so you weren’t even able to look at each other. If you both let your heads loll back, you could rest them against each others, but that was the most physical contact you could muster.
“Don’t make this dumbass decision. Let’s talk about it properly first, okay?”
The continuous dripping of the water from the crack in the ceiling was beginning to piss him right off and the shitty light from the pathetic lightbulb in the middle of the ceiling was flickering just enough to make the beginnings of a headache press against his eyes.
“There’s nothing to talk about. This way makes the most sense.”“No it really does not, shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.” He insisted through grit teeth. “I know more than you think I do, Jimin. Your death would start an outright war. You know the others won’t just sit by calmly when they send you home in a box, Minnie. This is the only way.”“Bullshit. The others are smarter than that, they won’t risk everything just for me.”
You shook your head, smiling bitterly despite the pain of your sore wrists from the continuous twisting and pulling from on the steel handcuffs encircling your wrists. 
“Give yourself more credit. Your their brother. They would die for you with no hesitation. It’s better that I die here, and you go home to help them slowly plan a way to take these fuckers down.” You said, voice firm and leaving no room for argument. “Understand?”“No, I don’t,” he protested and you rolled your eyes. “What about you? What about what you mean?”“Jimin…”
You knew what he was talking about; what he was referencing. The hours and hours spent in each others arms, talking about everything in the world and nothing at all. Whispered conversations and hushed laughter in public, constant passion and physical contact in private. Jimin liked nothing more than phoning you whenever he was alone and singing you to sleep, texting you far too often with too many emojis. He loved trying to distract you down your comms when you were in the field and his lip twitched in poorly hidden anger when your target put their hands on you. He was always the first to jump up and protest angrily when your boss, Namjoon, suggested sending you out alone to bait with the excuse of attracting too much attention.
At this point, you were willing to bet that Namjoon wanted you dead himself to get rid of such a huge liability to one of his best members. Jimin never hid his affections for you when surrounded by those he trusted the most, usually only the Inner Circle, but sometimes his passion for you put everybody else in an awkward position.
For example, his unwillingness to let you sacrifice yourself for his life and the lives of everybody else in the gang.
“I love you, Y/N.”
You closed your eyes, breathing in deeply. He had never said those words before and neither had you, finding that the two of you didn’t have to say it out loud, and it was pathetically tragic to share them with you now as if it would help change your mind.
“That’s exactly why I have to do this, Jimin. You won’t die for me. I won’t allow it.”“And this is easy for me? You think I want you to die in my place? Y/N, I’ve been doing this fucking gang shit longer than you have. It’s my time to go, I deserve it more than you.”“Don’t be a twat. I’m doing this and you can’t stop me.”
He opened his mouth and breathed in to argue against you some more, but the door to the dank, dimly lit cell was pulled open and two burly looking men walked in.
One was slightly older than the other, and he had the aura and body of a man who had lived a thrilling life. A scar was drawn down the middle of his face, splitting an eyebrow in half and giving his nose the appearance of an old, gnarled tree trunk. The younger man was entirely silent and standing far too straight and rigid to be comfortable. He was visibly uncomfortable in the room and you couldn’t bring yourself to make a biting comment at his expense as you may have previously.
You were new once, too.
“It’s been an hour, and we tire of your bickering,” His heavily accented voice was too loud and jarring in the small room, and you nearly flinched at the sudden volume. “Have you reached a conclusion?”“Yes. Kill me, and let Jimin go.”“No!” He had started to thrash in his confines, causing your own chair to shake from side to side too.“Stop it!” You exclaimed. “It’s okay, Jimin. Everything will be okay.”“How can you say that?” He protested loudly, and you didn’t have to be able to see his face to know he was crying.
You had never seen him cry before and you were morbidly relieved that you weren’t able to look at his face as he wept. It would have been too much for you to deal with. In fact, it might have been the only thing that could have swayed you from your decision.
“The lady has picked. Do you have any last words to your… Lover?” You wrinkled your nose at the hesitation. This man, as well as being physically imposing, was a creep. He was made for this line of work.“Yes.” You stated, trying not to let how much Jimin’s loud sobs were wearing on your absolution. “I have some last words.”“Get on with it. We have a schedule to stick to.”
It was almost surprising, how little they regarded the loss of life. This gang was notoriously bloodthirsty, but you still couldn’t prevent your eyes from widening slightly at the push to hurry up. These were the last words you would ever say, and they were acting as if they had to rush off to some other appointment immediately after.
“Jimin,” you started, voice slightly thick with emotion. You wished that you could kiss him goodbye one last time, but you knew they would never allow that. “I don’t regret a single moment that I’ve spent with you. These very few years I’ve spent by your side, watching you grow and flourish, have been the best of my life and I want to thank you for allowing me to stay with you. I love you, Park Jimin, with my heart and soul and nothing, not even death, can stop me from loving you.”
He was crying louder now, too overcome to respond in any coherent way to your words, but perhaps that was for the best. It wasn’t like you were able to reply to any response he would have had, as the younger man grabbed your upper arm in a tenacious grip and uncuffed your wrists harshly.
He dragged you into a standing position, and tugged you towards the door.
“Give them hell for me, Jimin.”
The cell door slammed shut and the man was left alone in the room, tied to a chair, hunched over and screaming out for you. 
Not even six months later he found himself cocking his gun and unclasping the safety in preparation. Movement bustled all around him, but he didn’t take his eyes off the gleaming metal of your favourite gun. Your number was stamped into the butt of the weapon and he usually smiled at the smiley face scratched into the surface next to it. 
He wouldn’t just give them hell. He would make sure each and every last one of the people in that building was dead, and then he would watch as it burnt into nothing.They had taken everything from him, and he’ll be damned if he let any of them get away with it.
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