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#i still believe there's smth special about him and i can't let him go ๐Ÿ˜ the nature of the dream and everything and the fact that i knew IT
selfinflictedgunshotwound ยท 2 years
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ATTENTION: BRAINDEAD POST INCOMING
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i'm gonna marry him i swear to god. I promise. no kidding
#his 80s cary elwes-esque slay w the moustache WHYYYYYYYYYY i am in agony.#i think there was just something about 2021. prophetic dreams were abound and we all fell in love w someone who greatly impacted us forever#i still believe there's smth special about him and i can't let him go ๐Ÿ˜ the nature of the dream and everything and the fact that i knew IT#i sowwy for being insane but i do believe he's my special little guy. him havin a gf literally changes nothing. whoops! ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ#god i have a problem i think i need to be on anti-psychotics but idc. i'm just remembering how i was sayin i was happy abt him reading my#comment and saying good night to me and i called him 'my beloved streamer' and people were callin me parasocial for that and yet#a bitch who's been his fan for over half a decade who ends up dating him ISN'T parasocial? the hypocrisy of everyone being kind to her#while getting angry at other for being attracted to him and genuinely caring for him just like i'n sure she did. i hate alllllllll of you#i never felt like life made sense more than when i was obsessed w him... sigh#ironically i think want someone to tell me that i'm being crazy just so i can tell them to fuck off. it's not like i don't know or that i#enjoy being like this but i feel like a have no other choice? it's odd but it feels like my purpose. this is my rock to roll up the hill#my track record for this sorta thing isn't good but i'm trying to be better. just once i wanna be loved by someone i love heh... ๐Ÿ˜”#he feels like the final one fr. the last in a line of total failures#god it's a miracle anyone puts up w me ngl LOL there's smth deeply wrong w me i don't think is fixable#not to quote astrology like it's gospel but the stars decided i was supposed to fall for someone in the public eye so. it only makes sense#that this keeps happening to me i guess. i'm just fuckin retarded no need to be concerned#anyways SCHIZOPOSTING OVER! back to whatever the fuck else i can use as a diversion so no one reads this (even tho no one gaf)
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