#i spent 4 hours on tumblr. twitter got 4 minutes
Text
based on the lets go take ibuprofen together anime girl meme that i CANNOT find
bonus
#twitblr chronicles#twitblr#socialstuck#?? idk#the interwebs series#tumblr x twitter#tumblr gijinka#twitter gijinka#grace post#grart#i spent 4 hours on tumblr. twitter got 4 minutes
472 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me and my Poland tour bestie (noriko_743 on ig) were reflecting on our insane week following the guys around and realised that we basically did a speedrun on the entire JO fangirl checklist.
It was Nori's first in-person JO gig ever at Warsaw 1 (!!!)
We got barricade for the first time in both our lives
Nori got photos and hugs with ALL the guys
I got a guitar pick in Wrocław!
We sang Umazane Misli with Bojan at Warsaw 2
Bojan actually recognised me in Poznań and Prague and remembered what we'd talked about in Wrocław 🙀
Nori got handwritten lyrics from Bojan for a tattoo
Nori's ig story got reposted by Kris!
We both ended up in Vita's photos on the band's official account
We ran into the guys "in the wild", i.e. out in the city during the day
We got the live debut of a new iconic outfit (all-white Kris)
We saw all (I think all?) the Stožice outfits in person
We saw the Demoni scream and Kris NGVOT in person
I was the numbers person / unofficial "queue manager" for the pre-wristband queue at Warsaw 2 and Poznań
We participated in fan actions that the guys really appreciated (shoutout jokeroutpolska for organising)
I met lots of tumblr mutuals 🥰
I met a bunch of people I have plans to see again in Munich, The Hague and Amsterdam
Like... it's crazy just how much happened in this last week. And there was no one show where we got everything, or nothing. Every single gig had something special to offer. So if you're wondering whether it's "worth" following JO around on tour... it really, really is. The experiences you have and the people you meet are incredible.
Speaking of, here are some other unforgettable tour experiences that will stick with me for a long time to come:
Nori and I only met at the hostel before Warsaw 1, and she wasn't even planning to come to that show, she only had a ticket for Warsaw 2! But I talked her into getting a cheap resale ticket for Warsaw 1, and she queued with me, and she loved it so much she immediately bought tickets for Wrocław and Poznań too, so we booked hotels together for the rest of the tour.
I literally just met Nori last week?? But we spent nearly every minute together between Warsaw 1 and Poznań, dealing with the highest highs and lowest lows of tour life, and it now feels like we've been friends for ages.
After the fucking absurd queue situation at Wrocław (4:45am and #45, WTF????) we decided that after the show, we would wait outside for the boys and then head straight for Poznań in my car. So we literally drove through the night with our new friend Safursey and formed the start of the Poznań queue.
Our hotel in Poznań wasn't ready until 2pm so we literally just took turns queuing and sleeping in my car. Nori and Safursey let me have the first sleeping shift since I drove us overnight.
I think we only slept between 15-20 hours total over 8 days???
I'm actually glad I got to experience a cursed gig (Prague) where everything went wrong. Seeing how professionally the guys reacted and how smoothly things were resolved made me appreciate just how experienced and calm they are.
Nori and I were unknowingly the centre of a major Twitter outrage after Warsaw 2 because someone accused us of stealing the microphone after Umazane Misli. Neither of us are on Twitter so we didn't even know about this controversy, but someone was clearly accusing us (and it was definitely us from the context) of stealing the microphone to sing, even though we had a sign asking to sing UM and Bojan was obviously pointing at us to get the microphone next (which is clear to see in all the videos of that moment).
Our friend Safursey deleted her Twitter account after Prague because people who were not there were spreading all kinds of insane rumours and unfounded accusations about the queue and Bojan's ig stories and refused to be corrected by the people who were actually involved. She got so much hate for explaining what was actually happening on the ground that she left the platform entirely, so that should tell you how toxic Twitter is.
I was feeling like such utter shit after the drama in Prague that I didn't even want to attend the concert anymore, but Safursey and @thisismyobsessionnow (Nori didn't come to Prague) came to comfort me and convinced me to still come to the gig, and I really appreciate that.
Overall an emotional roller coaster, but one I wouldn't give up for anything. We had SO much fun and met SO many people. I would do it again any time.
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Things I’ve been into this week:
1. Got my COVID booster, spent 3 days in a Side Effect Fever Nest and am just now coming out of it, science rules but also science hurts just a little bit.
2. Re: point 1, am now a scant 40 hours behind on Critical Role C3 which feels like ~practically nothing~. I have several complex theories on the ways in which EXU is secret lore dumping for C3 and am struggling with how to find the people in this fandom that are Cool To Engage With. Accepting recs if you know anyone.
3. I checked my Switch profile and did you know that I’ve played 375+ hours of Animal Crossing since March 2020 because fuck me I sure didn’t. It’s that ten minutes a day thing, it catches up. Anyway I’m really proud of my island and since I’m still working through 2020s pop culture please know that I just now discovered the acnh.guide app which has made it a million times easier to actually figure out which bugs and fish I’m missing. I’ve made a ton of progress on completing my museum which makes me happy. I’ve also made a twitter account to share photos of my island build bc I’m really pleased with how it’s (slowly) coming together, if that’s your jam I’m @mermaidlamp on Twitter and I’m happy to make a tumblr to crosspost photos to if there’s interest. It’s night themed so it’s mostly just me on an eternal quest for lamp diys but maybe that’s your thing!
4. Last night I was rewatching some Buffy and I got to the scene in Once More With Feeling where Willow and Tara have a whole number about oral sex and like. Just thinking about the ways in which people make art about queerness has changed and the ways in which - like - when you couldn’t show two women kissing on TV you had to think a little harder? And the ways that intimacy and longing and desire can be communicated without kissing and the ways that on the one hand we’ve made such progress and on the other hand I think there’s an art that’s been lost? And maybe this just circles back to Everyone Is Beautiful But No One Is Horny but I really felt it, you know?
5. Has anyone played RDR Online recently? I’m downloading RDR2 onto my PS5 finally and I want to play Sad Cowboy Horse Sim because Laura Bailey being bad at describing horses made me absolutely pine for the RDR2 horse engine, but also as with point 2 I don’t have time to get cyberbullied by children. I can always play infinite post-game and I probably will; I could start a new game on the PS5 but gosh that epilogue broke my heart, you know? Anyway, I like to know my options.
6. Has anyone actually played the RDR1 port on the new PS Store Classics Collection? Does it work? Is RDR1 actually a bad game when played with fresh eyes or does mourning Arthur Morgan along with John add a certain je ne sais quoi that compensates for the pre-2010 graphics. If it helps I’m very bad at video games and am very attached to a few of the modern accessibility features to make games work for me.
I hope you’re having a good Tuesday. I love you and appreciate you. I’m thinking of doing a Legends rewatch from the very beginning and trying to decide if I’m going to rewatch Supergirl in parallel or if the complexity of that will make me lose steam. Always accepting new recs for television that is a) good b) going to scratch the Genre Fandom part of my brain real good and c I cannot stress this enough) not spooky or gory.
#i think my twitter name is hilarious in part because i can't believe it wasn't taken#and also because i'm currently on a quest to actually get the fucking mermaid lamp diy#pascal is on thin. ice.#also i shoot down EVERY balloon looking for summer diys i want that shell lamp#and it's always just a bag of money or the most bizarre item#i have a sushi costume when am i ever going to wear that#come on#also bless you emma for warning me about how spooky the sandman was#because netflix gave me a trailer and between that + the johanna constantine gifs i was almost sucked in#and then i gave it a quick google and sigh. hard pass.#anyway#the matthew mercer dungeons and dragons twitch cinematic universe#animal crossing new horizons#sometimes i play a video game#i need a tag for how much of a lesbian i am#grouchy aunt j talks to the tumblr void
24 notes
·
View notes
Note
Telling Black people they aren't reylos because they call out racism? Wow ok fandom menace. Telling us we aren't Star Wars fans, and every other fandom, for calling out racism, aint new. You would know that if you paid attention to what we say. So to repeat: stop using us as a fucking shield. Maybe your top posts would get more than 10 notes then and other reylos pay more attention to you. And that article you shared and keep on praising? Writer has a history of harrassing Black and Latino people on twitter over cultural appropriation and feminism.
My God's name in Christ can you not fucking read?
You know what that's fine I'll just copy/paste what I posted before and hopefully you actually fucking read it the second time around.
Here ya go you stupid fucking fuck:
Alright now that we got that out of the way.
For context about what Anon is complaining about here I just made another
long post about the very real racism in the star wars fandom and spoiler alert it’s not the reylos
and in the post I made these nice little charts to help illustrate the absolutely mind boggling statistic of white vs. ‘other’ races in the reylo fandom, which is an impressive 68%.
Hey Anon, you do understand when I or anyone else says 'Other' we're not grouping all the races as 'white vs browns', you understand that right? No where in that post do I imply that 'other' is only brown people.
Where the fuck did you even get that?
Now understandable on paper this number feels high but when compared to other online fandoms is actually an impressive statistic most fandoms that have roots in America don’t share.
Obviously things that originate in places tend to have a larger place of origin population in those statistics. Like K-pop for example. A large number of any band fandom surveyed is probably going to be largely Korean, that's completely normal.
Star Wars originated in America, so it's larger population of fans is going to be Americans who are statistically white. Thankfully that statistic is changing but at the moment in the year of our lord 2023 it is still largely 'white'.
But I'm no incorrect, the reylo fandom, which is a subset of Star Wars fandom, which originated in America, is in fact largely American.
Also we're talking online statistics here. Those don't reflect real life statistics at all. You had to be an active member of the fandom AND on tumblr during the time period this survey was taken. That's a lot of 'what ifs' there.
So we can assume these number's are probably incorrect. The number of 'others' is probably higher in reality.
I made a short post about it here using This 4 year old survey of the reylo fandom by @starwarsnonsense
See Anon, I did compare the reylo fandom to another fandom, the Furry Fandom, which I am also an active member in If you bothered to pull you head out of your ass for five minutes and actually read and comprehend what I posted you'd understand how that 68% is not fucking normal to most online fandoms.
I compared it to a survey done to the furry fandom around the same time, which showed that group being 83% white.
Anon here is upsetty because when I made my chart I didn’t take the time to mark out the other races in ‘other’ but yeah if you wanna be a cunt about, fine, here, lemme literally post an image from the SURVEY I LINKED TO THAT ALREADY HAS ALL THIS INFORMATION.
That aside, the main reason I didn’t bother to mark out all the other races in ‘other’ was because I’m pretty bad at math and getting the numbers for ‘white/other’ was already a headache. I had already spent like an hour making the chart and I still had your father to bang Anon.
Nothing to do with racism. Everything to do with ADHD and your dad wanting this dick.
But you know what I’m petty so I went ahead and updated the furry fandom’s chart to show you what statistical anomaly that is the reylo fandom compared to a fandom with literally more people in it.
Bitch that is nearly double the number of 'other' from the furry fandom's statistics. That shit is fucking wild.
I’m sorry but if you read a single line in that long ass post and came to the conclusion I’m the racist then no one can fucking help you. I knew reading comprehension around the world has fallen quite a bit but this is worrying.
I understand that it was long but I’m pretty easy to read, I try not to use big words and I use pictures when I can.
Which is one of the reasons I’m twigged on to you not actually being a reylo Anon. Because if you were a reylo you’d at least agree that black people and reylos are both treated like shit in the Star Wars fandom, which boiled down is really what that post said.
Also you used 'Latinx' with the X and only white people do that shit.
Go on Anon, show me the line where I’m being racist that ain’t the chart I didn’t fill in correctly to you because we already have one of those and I post it regularly:
···
Go on meow, git.
Where is it? Is it the part where I posted all those death threats I and other reylos have gotten from Antis? Is it the part where I showed @rootbeergoddess’s 7 year commitment to harassing the reylo fandom, The Fandom You Claim To Be In?
Is it the part where I drew a cactus? Which fucking part was it man?
~@~
You never did answer my question. I asked you what part of the post was racist and you just flew right the fuck over that part, so great job fantastic conflict resolution there asshole.
Listen, I ain't here to make fucking friends. Every single post I make could get zero notes for all the fucks I don't give. I could be talking about blorbo from the shows I like, the fandom isn't the fucking point here, the fact there are assholes like you in my fucking fandom space is the problem we're addressing here.
I've chased plenty of you lead paint eaters out of the tag before and I'll keep fucking doing it until you all fucking leave.
0 notes
Text
Please allow me to tell you about one of my favourite cartoons through this informal essay I did for school a couple of months back.
Gravity Falls and How it Did The Unimaginable
**SPOILERS... KINDA**
The 2010s saw the creation of some of the most iconic animated tv shows ever made, the likes of Adventure Time (2010), Steven Universe (2013), Over the Garden Wall (2014) and The Legend of Korra (2012). To explain why this era’s shows are so admirable is honestly rather difficult. Yet, there are many factors that can be taken into consideration when looking for an answer.
The past decade was very successful in perfecting their craft and utilizing the animated format to their favour, creating some of the wackiest and fascinating cartoons ever made. With the advancements made in both 2D and 3D animation for film, this bled into the world of TV as well.
To mention that 2010s cartoons have stunning visuals would be an understatement. Everything about the animation was beautiful; the strong colour palettes, the clean and imaginative character designs, the colourful and immersive backgrounds and especially the mesmerizing worlds that can be found within episodes that are half an hour.
This era’s cartoons also led to a massive shift in storytelling, writing longer-running stories that spread out across seasons while also swapping out episodic adventures for serialization. This heavily aided in the popularization of these shows, due to the rise of internet fandoms and dropping the taboo that cartoons were only for kids. Many shows acknowledged their older viewers by leaving clues and even puzzles to be solved by the theorists who have a large appearance on social media platforms like Reddit, Twitter and Tumblr. As the shows progressed, their fandoms created many theories for what they believed might happen within their favourite series. The top three shows from this era all utilized these changes, being at the forefront of the shift and helping guide the creative vision of 2010s cartoons.
Often regarded as many people’s favourite cartoon, Gravity Falls presented one of the best mysteries of the decade with two seasons and only 40 episodes. Inspired by Twin Peaks and The X-Files, it’s considered as the kids’ version of these two iconic shows as this cartoon acts as many people’s first introduction to horror through bright colours and fun characters.
This series follows the adventures of Dipper and Mabel Pines, twins, who are sent to spend their summer with their great-uncle or Grunkle Stan in Gravity Falls, Oregon. This town is full of oddities like supernatural creatures, insane and eccentric inhabitants, and many puzzles. The Pines twins must adjust to the weirdness while uncovering the mysteries and protecting their new town.
While living in Gravity Falls, the twins are forced to work in the Mystery Shack, a tourist trap created by their Grunkle Stan that overcharges unlucky tourists, teaching about fake monsters despite there being real creatures all over town. On his first day in Oregon, Dipper accidentally came across a mysterious journal written by an unknown author that explains all the oddities to be found in this strange town. This book acts like an encyclopedic of the Weird for Dipper, an inquisitive 12-year-old kid who seeks answers.
Dipper is an extremely intelligent kid, his brain being far more developed than his body. He’s rather awkward and self-conscious as he often stumbles over his words or gets embarrassed trying to talk to girls. Despite this, the boy is an adventurer at heart who just wants to grow up and skip his upcoming teenage years.
While Mabel is quite the opposite in many ways, she is loud and has an in-your-face personality. Mabel is bouncy and fun, she is so excited to start high school. She is easily excitable and for the larger part of the series, she is in her boy-crazy phase. Mabel is a girly-girl as she likes all things; glitter, unicorns, rainbows, partying and crafting. Yet, she doesn’t often compare well with many of the other girls in town, they see her as weird and “too much”.
(In all fairness through, it is not too kind to either of the characters as their personalities are more complex than just awkward nerd and artsy girl-girly.)
Dipper and Mabel’s personalities are very different but somehow, they—along with their Gravity Falls family—manage to solve mysteries and save the town, multiple times.
Gravity Falls is an honestly genius series that completely changed the way cartoons were made. Originally when writing a series, you’d create a base of your story; characters, the universe and a basic plot. Yet, when creator, Alex Hirsch (who was in his early/mid-20)s and his small team first began constructing their show, they planned out everything they could possibly think of for the first season. Additionally, outlining some answers for their biggest mysteries that would be answered at the end of the series.
Despite being rated TV-Y7, this series really pushed the boundaries of kids’ television. From the teeth being ripped out of a deer’s mouth by a demon, rearranging the functions of every hole on a man’s face to an aggressive pop-rock sock puppet show that ended in a dramatic slow-motion scene of the puppets burning. Gravity Falls wasn’t afraid to get a little weird or creepy. Or create some genuine nightmare fuel.
From the beginning, Gravity Falls had built a mystery into its series, hiding secrets and clues all throughout the show. Most notably were the backwards-recorded message and cryptograms, using roughly nine different kinds, even creating two of their own.
The inclusion of cyphers and mysteries for fans to solve is possibly the reason why this series was so successful. As one of the first shows to do something like this, Gravity Falls used social media and internet fandoms to its advantage.
As mentioned earlier, cartoon fans have quite a presence on social media platforms like Twitter and Tumblr. They create theories and share fun ideas about their favourite shows. Viewers of Adventure Time, Gravity Falls and Steven Universe were all included in their share of theory fun.
Sometimes, fan theories end up being correct but when you’re Gravity Falls creator, Alex Hirsch, you don’t just watch from the sidelines as your viewers figure out the biggest mystery of your show. No, you create a hoax to get your viewers off your trail and that is what he did. Around 2013, only halfway through the first season of the show, viewers had started to follow the clues, theorizing who was the author is Dipper’s mysterious journal.
Unfortunately for the Gravity Falls production crew, the viewers were right— for the sake of readers who have never seen the show, I will not mention who the author was as it would be the biggest spoiler.
In 2013, a supposed leaked image of a tv showing a younger version of the show’s crazy old man character, Old Man McGucket, writing in the infamous journal was uploaded anonymously (by Alex Hirsch) to 4Chan.
Despite the image only being on up for a few hours, it spread like wildfire. Much to the team’s success, theorists stopped searching for the answer to “who is the author” and just accepted the image of McGucket as the truth.
To further push the fake-out, three words were posted to Alex’s Twitter, “fuming right now.”
The tweet was deleted a few minutes later and fans genuinely believed that someone from the Gravity Falls team had leaked the most important part of the story.
While doing research, I came across a Reddit post from April 10th, 2013, the day after ‘leak,’ Alex’s tweet was uploaded. In this post, user, TheoDW uploaded an image of Alex’s tweet with the caption, “It seems that Hirsch got mad at last night’s leak. He already deleted this tweet.”
Seeing the reactions of these Redditors in 2013 is kind of weird and crazy to look at. “He has every right to be upset. Someone internally released a plot revealing screen shot of series breaking spoiler information,” a deleted Reddit account commented.
“This is Alex Hirsch’s biggest success by far, he spent a huge amount of time carefully planning out the series, and then in a moment someone releases a major spoiler. It would make anyone upset,” the user, Time_Loop commented.
“Seriously, this is a nightmare for a storyteller, and shows a breach of trust. I feel so bad for him–honestly, I hope whoever did the leak gets caught and appropriate action is taken. You don’t f–k with someone’s story like this. It’s unprofessional.” the user, lonelybeloved angrily commented.
In 2014, this ‘leak’ was finally disproven when viewers were given an episode on McGucket’s backstory and an amazing tweet from Alex Hirsch.
Alex had post an image of himself playfully pointing at a monitor with the supposed leaked picture with the caption, “1) Make hoax 2) Upload to 4Chan 3) Post angry tweet about "leak" 4) Delete tweet 5) Let internet do rest”
It is so interesting to look at these comments know that all of this was orchestrated by Alex.
I wish I had been old enough at the time to follow theories and fandom stuff like I do now with current cartoons but really looking at this from an outside perspective, this was insane!
The real author wasn’t revealed until 2015 and when viewers first got the answer to this biggest show on their screens, they must have freaked out!
Following the finale in 2016, a single frame of a stone version of Bill Cipher, the show’s villain, flashed in after the credits had finished.
Alex Hirsch and his team actually created a real-life statue of their villain for their viewers to find and on July 20th, 2016, the Cipher Hunt began.
By following clues, the Hunters found themselves all over the world; Russia, Japan and then travelling throughout the United States for the final 12 clues. When the hunt took them to Los Angeles, actor, Jason Ritter (voice of Dipper Pines, also a massive fan of the series) and Alex Hirsch’s twin sister, Ariel Hirsch (the inspiration for Mabel) joined in the fun helping the search.
Finally, the hunt ended on August 2nd when someone tweeted out an image of the found statue in Oregon, the same state in which the fictional town of Gravity Falls exists. The Cipher Hunt had ended but finding the statue wasn’t Alex’s goal for the scavenger hunt, it was about the journey and bringing together the viewers, more than having them actually find the statue.
Creating its own hoax, an international scavenger hunt and quite a bit of nightmare fuel, Gravity Falls was a show truly unlike any other.
The 2010s saw some of the strongest cartoons ever made, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls and Steven Universe acting as the leaders for multiple different changes in the medium; storytelling, worldbuilding, interaction with viewers, utilizing social media, representation and further pushing music into the cartoon world. From what was created this past decade and what has already been released in 2020, I’m so excited to see what comes next.
I have another one of these which is on Steven Universe’s representation and music if you would like to see that too!!
#isaac rambles#long post#gravity falls#cartoons#cartoon review#dipper pines#alex hirsch#OH MY GOD I LOVE ALEX HIRSCH'S BRAIN!!!#disney#disney channel#disney cartoons
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
i remember so clearly just knowing, knowing, in the deepest parts of my soul that Cas was gonna come back for the finale. I would talk about it with green-eyes and she was pretty sceptical but i was all like: "They have to!!! THEY HAVE TO!!! it doesn't make sense if they don't!!"
and then an hour before the finale aired, i got on a canadian fan's twitter and saw that they were already seeing the finale. And when their episode was done, they tweeted that they understood why jensen hated it and then i started to get worried but i still figured "nooo they have to bring cas back because otherwise it doesnt make any sense!!!"
and then the finale began and i was just seeing the minutes tick by and still no cas. the story wasn't really picking up but then finally there was a case and i started seeing the minutes ticking by and still no cas. and then they were in the barn and the way that fight was playing out i thought, "Okay cas has gotta come any minute now," while i saw the minutes ticking by.
and then dean got impaled and i figured, "Okay cas is gonna come any minute now", again while i saw the minutes ticking by.
and then we had that incest-like fuck fest and it closed out and i saw the minutes ticking closer to the 40 minute mark and still no cas and realization started to hit me like a truck.
and i just remember the last 15 to 20 minutes sitting there dazed, watching a heartbreaking finale.
i was chatting with green-eyes the entire time of the finale and when dean's death scene happened, neither of us was really sending any messages. we were both just dazed.
and the entire time i was crying for dean getting killed, crying for the life they took from him, crying about the fact that cas wasn't coming back. that the last time i saw him was two episodes ago and i didn't even now it so i didn't even cry for him because i was so happy about the confession.
and when the finale was done, i remember opening my dashboard on tumblr and hardly seeing any posts. like two or three but that's it. and if any of you have been here when an spn episode aired live you know that's unusual. even when an episode was bad, we always made posts and such.
but this one just broke me and i very clearly wasn't alone.
i spent 5 hours crying. leaving crying voice message to green-eyes. and then had to somehow manage my emotions because i had class that day and three presentations.
i spent that entire day with red-rimmed eyes sitting in front of my laptop and crying in between the next class or presentation. i spent an entire weekend crying. i spent several weeks randomly crying all of a sudden. like full-on sobbing
something genuinely broke inside of me because of that finale. and it feels silly saying that because it's just an episode. it's just a tv show. but my heart shattered into a million pieces.
it broke and hurt me so much that for a time i wasn't being on here as much as i did normally. and i hated that. i love being on here. beign on here is such a safe space for me. seeing people take just as much joy from something as i do but i just completely turned away from it.
and i hated that. i hated how the finale broke me and on top of taht took away what makes me relax, what makes me feel safe.
i spent months not reading any fan fic. i couldn't even stand seeing stills from the finale. any stills or gifs. honestly not even episode 19. it made ill. like genuinely made me feel like i was gonna throw up if i didn't scroll away.
i couldn't even stomach seeing any spn episode not even fan made videos because i just started crying. it filled me with so much grief. this thin that was my safe space. that made me laugh with heart-eyes basically. that made me feel all fuzzy was just completely ruined for me by that fuck fest of a finale.
and then 4 or 5 months later i watched schitt's creek and it kind of mended something a little bit for me. i still felt raw and shattered but it was a bit easier to deal with and i slowly got back into spn. back into being on here.
but i still haven't watched a single spn episode since the finale. i still haven't watched any fan videos or videos of spn because i just keep crying. i hate how a show that i love so so so much with characters that are so near and dear to my heart fucked it all up.
this post isn't going anywhere but i know a lot of people experienced that same hurt and it's cathartic writing down your pain. or at least, it's important to let your pain be there. to let it come out.
i am in pain over that finale. i was in pain and still am in pain and will continue to be in pain because it was atrocious. it didn't make any sense whatsoever and it fills me with anger and sadness and defeat. it fills me with shame i guess that i feel like this over a tv show. over one episode. but hurt is okay to be here. my sadness and my hurt over this atrocious fuck fest is allowed to be here.
today a year ago took a lot away from me. nothing you can see. nothing on the surface but inside of me. and i hate that one year later it continues to do that every day. there is something about reclaiming it but i can't erase those last two fucking awful episodes no matter how hard i try.
but i try my best to remind myself spn ended on episode 18. that dean is still alive and actively trying to get cas back from the empty because you know he would. dean winchester, the man who heard his best friend say he loved him before he gave his life for him, would absolutely do everything in his power and beyond to get him back or die trying. and he'd succeed and they'd get their heads out of their asses after a while and then grow old and grumpy but in love together.
and the cw can fuck right off
10 notes
·
View notes
Photo
GIFFING 101 - YOUR ULTIMATE GUIDE ON HOW TO GIF
I have gotten many, many asks before about how I gif and I finally decided to make a tutorial. This is going to be very long, very image heavy and with a lot of details and examples. I mean it, I’m going through every, single aspect of giffing that I can possibly think of. From start to finish. And please read the disclaimer at the very start.
* I use a macbook pro but this should probably work on windows too!
I hate doing this but if this helped and you want to, please consider donating to my ko-fi or if you want, commission a theme or page from me at @amaanat <3
tutorial under cut, I hope it helps!
★★★★★
- CONTENTS
disclaimer
what will you need to create gifs?
how to download videos?
extracting your scene from handbrake using VLC / built in video player
opening in photoshop
trimming, cropping and resizing videos
sharpening
colouring and psds
masks
adding subtitles
editing frames / timeline speed
multiple gifs in one grid.
actions
exporting the gif
last minute tips and extra links.
★★★★★
- DISCLAIMER
First off, this is not meant as a post where I am saying look here, this is the only and perfect way of giffing. Not at all. When I started out, there were many tutorials available that helped me figure out how to gif, and I slowly developed my own style and I would like to create an in depth tutorial that helps you grasp the basics. Heck, make your gifs whatever way you want, go absolutely crazy on colours or whatever, this tutorial is just here to guide you through the process of gifmaking, because I know it can be very intimidating to people who are just getting into it. That is why I made this and why I spent 8 hours writing this, because I want others to know too and this is the kind of in depth tutorial I needed when I was starting out 4 years ago. Thanks for reading, hope it helps and go crazy ahhh go stupid.
★★★★★
- what will you need to create gifs?
photoshop. I use photoshop CC 2020 on a mac and I pay monthly bc of student discount. There are many, many links you can find on @completeresources for downloads. You can use any photoshop you like, as long as you have the timeline option.
Handbrake. This nifty program is used mostly to convert MKV files to MP4, but I also use it to quickly extract the part of the video I want, because opening an entire movie in photoshop can quickly clog up space bc of cache and it’s a pain to find that one second scene you want with that tiny scrollbar. Download it from here.
your video (downloading explained down below)
extras: VLC, just to find how many seconds the scene is at, so we can input the time in Handbrake. You can use any other player though for that step, I use VLC or Quicktime. Download VLC from here.
★★★★★
- how to download videos
Ok so I will quickly go through a few methods here for getting your clips.
1. t*rrenting.
This is the most popular method for getting your film or tv episode. I personally get my t/rrents from rarbg dot to or if I am having trouble finding one, I go to 1337x dot to, because they compile them from different sites. I copy the magnet link and go to the qbittorrent application, import magnet link, choose the files I want and it downloads. Remember, the higher the seeder leecher ratio, the quicker it will download.
But which file should I choose?? there’s so many? Well yes there are many many files for different movies. On RAR, I found more than 40 t/rrent files for Endgame. I think that generally, the 4/5 GB 1080p copies are just fine. I have compared giffing with a 60GB Interstellar Remux (which is directly ripped from bluray) file to giffing from a 4GB 1080 file, it literally gave me the same quality and the 1080 looked crisper. So yeah don’t kill your computers space, just go for those 3/4/5GB files.
hot tip - don’t download from yify, the quality is way worse.
2. movies from twitter accounts such as logolessHD.
these accounts post MEGA links to movies and shows, but you will have to request to follow them to be able to get the links. Then you can download the movie from there. The accounts you can get these links from are here: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4. The quality can be a bit less though compared to t/rrents. Here is a link to a tumblr blog with these kinds of downloads too.
3. downloading from youtube.
ok, use 4kvideodownloader for this. It is incredibly easy to use, you just need the youtube link. Always Always go for 1080p, if you can’t then 720 at the most because otherwise quality gets really bad really fast.
4. netflix / screenrecording
If you don’t want to download / can’t find something, try using netflix and screen recording. In my experience, SC only works on google chrome and not safari so jsyk!! Here is a tutorial on how to screen record on mac (or for quick access, click command+shift+5) and windows.
NOTE: quicktime screen records at 60fps, which is nearly thrice the frame rate of movies and shows, so at the end you may end up with duplicate frames in the timeline of photoshop, so you will have to delete those frames one by one sorry.
★★★★★
- extracting your scene from handbrake using VLC / built in video player
muahaha here’s where the magic starts to happen. Open handbrake and import your video. For this part I am going to use a scene of Keanu Reeves from the 2019 movie Always be my Maybe. I will demonstrate with that scene up until colouring, because then I will show how I colour different scenes!
So when you have opened the image in HB, you get this layout. (link to imgur)
it is a bit intimidating, I know. So basically, first, click on where it says chapters near the top right and click seconds. then, input the time you want to extract from the entire video. For the Keanu scene, that scene starts at 00:57:18 and ends at 00:57:21. These are not exact timings, I usually add an extra second so the entire scene is captured and I heavily recommend you do the same.
Now down below, you can click browse and edit where your new video will be saved and you can also change the name of the new clip. Always ALWAYS remember to keep the .mp4 ending do not cut that part out!!! If the ending says .m4v change it to mp4!!
Ok then I undertake the following steps to ensure the video that will be exported is of the highest quality possible:
Firstly, I uncheck all these three boxes:
Then you see this bar here right? Well I will edit the dimensions, filters and video now. You don’t have to do anything for audio, subtitles or chapters so leaving that alone is best. Lets go to dimensions first.
Here are my settings for dimensions:
The storage size depends on if your file is 1080p or 720p. Most movies are shot in a ratio of 2.35:1, so if it does not say 1920x1080 like a 1080 file should be, don’t fret. The cut off parts are just the black bars you see when watching the movie. Handbrake doesn’t recognise nor convert them so that’s one less thing we have to worry about.
Now onto filters. Literally do NOT change anything there. Leave the settings as they are, which is like this:
Finally, go to video. You will see this kind of window and these are my settings (imgur)
Firstly, leave video encoder at H264 or 265 depending on how your video is encoded. For the FPS, choose same as source for the framerate and click constant instead of variable!!! This will ensure your video is smooth. For quality, bring the slider all the way to the right. RF0 means it will be at the best quality possible. I didn’t edit the settings at the bottom at all so just leave them be.
Now click this green icon (imgur) at the top and your video will start encoding! It does not take long at all and then your video is ready to made into a nice lil gif!
★★★★★
- opening in photoshop
woohooo we got our video!! Ok now open photoshop. Click on file -> open:
now search for the file you extracted from VLC and import it! Now your screen will look like this (imgur). With a different video, of course lol.
★★★★★
- trimming, cropping and resizing videos
ok so firstly, we will trim the video. As you can see in the image I linked in the step before, the screencap you see is of someone else in ABMM, not Keanu, like I want. So use this slider:
and click and drag it to where your scene begins and shows up in the window. Then, click the following button to split at playhead.
This will split the clip and so the timeline and layers section will look like this (imgur) (mine has three sections because there was space before and after the keanu scene so I cut two parts which made three clips)
so now all there is left in trimming is delete the layers of the video you do not need! For me in that image it was layer 1 and 3!
cropping and resizing
This depends on the kind of gifset you want to make. This picture is a handy guide for resizing:
This post is also very very useful for resizing info
Ok now I will crop my gif. Click on this tool:
and now my interface looks like this. I am using the ratio 6 by 4 but you can use whatever you want.
Ok now you may need to crop some black bars but since I don’t have to, I just moved the crop area around a bit and clicked enter to crop it. Just play around with sizes and whatnot, and get a feel of what you like!!
cropping tip: crop as close as you can to the edges. The more you zoom in, the more pixels that will be visible and it will make your gif extremely grainy!!
So now for resizing, go to image -> image size or click command-shift-i
and you will get this window.
A LITTLE NOTE - I personally do not use automatic but a friend who shared her sharpening psd would prefer if I kept it secret, but automatic is what most people use and it is what I used up until november 2019 and it worked just fine.
Ok anyway now I want to make my gif 268px wide so I will input that as width and make sure you click this!! It makes sure your height and width are proportional!
ok now we have this. After you’ve done that, click ok!
congrats, you just resized a gif!! Your gif probably looks smaller now in the main window once you click ok, just zoom in to it! don’t worry about it looking bad quality, sharpening is next!
This is how my gif looks with trimming, cropping and resizing (with 0.05 speed)
★★★★★
- sharpening
Now we sharpen! Make sure your layer is selected Go to filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen and this window will pop up:
These are my settings which most people use. Just remove gaussian blur
I have more accurate and use legacy checked too!
click ok! Now ... your gif might look a bit oversharpened. That’s why we use a bit of gaussian blur. Go to filter -> blur -> gaussian blur.
now I think most people also use a 1.0 radius so set that and click ok.
But now your gif looks too blurry. Lets fix that. Double click the icon below in the layers panel
and adjust the opacity! My go to is between 25 to 35, just so the gif looks smooth!
Now we’re done with sharpening! This is how our gif looks with sharpening with 0.05 speed:
sweet right? Now .... the best and hardest part ... colouring!!!!
★★★★★
- colouring and psds
First I will shortly talk about psds. They are photoshop files, that save the entire document which means you can share it with someone after uploading it and when they download and open it, they can edit the layers, tweak things just like they made the file in the first place. Many people upload psds of gifs with colouring so others can use that colouring. You can find so many psds on completeresources (I only linked gif psds but they have psds for icons and headers too) or allresources. I do not use psds but colour from scratch every time so I will not be explaining them further, sorry.
So for colouring, I will go very in depth into different styles. Here are the main types of colouring I have noticed people use on here:
simple - I normally use this for scenes with people in it
vibrant, bright - I use this for scenes with lots of colours in them
pale
black and white
gradients - I use this to spice scenes up a bit
colour palette
I only go for simple, vibrant and gradients and never do cp, pale or black and white, but I will link a few tutorials by talented creators who do and after that I will explain the three ways I colour by showing you three different examples :)
Some useful tutorials I have found for pale/bw/cp colouring are:
this pale tutorial by @samecoin. Especially useful read because Tippy explains how to avoid whitewashing in pale edits.
this pale tutorial by @kateausten. Very easy to read and to follow.
this colour palette tutorial by @freddyfreemen. They explain the basics and provide a psd too.
this colour palette tutorial by @stenbranlons. Very image heavy which guides you through every step of the way.
A blog dedicated to pale resources is @finesources and is definitely worth checking out!
this tutorials page by completeresources has many many tutorials on how to do different kinds of styles
Btw, this is a useful website that explains all the different adjustment layers in photoshop if you’re still getting the hang of them
ok now onto my examples for the colouring. I will first do simple colouring for which I will use the keanu gif. For vibrant and gradient I will use two different gifs. I usually put my colouring into a group so first, close the video group layer and click this to make a new group which will contain the adjustment layers for our colouring:
SIMPLE COLOURING
First I will brighten the gif up with some curves. That is this tool:
Then you get this window:
As you see, I have selected that white eyedropper tool. Using that I will brighten the image. Basically, you want to click on the whitest part of the gif using that tool. This is because wherever you click, the eyedropper will turn that part into white and adjust the entire gif that way so if you click somewhere dark, you’ll get this white bright fuzzy mess. So I clicked on the lightest place which imo is the white specks near the glass in front of his hand and now my gif looks like this:
Ok now if you look at the above image, there is a black eyedropper two steps above the white one. You want to use that to click on the darkest place of the gif bc it’ll turn that to pure black. Here is my gif when I did that:
not a massive difference but it balances things out. Now I will add some saturation. Click this icon:
which brings up this window. I have already set saturation to around 15 to make it a bit warmer:
and the gif looks like this now:
I think it looks nice, but I would like to add something extra. That is why I am going to play around with selective colour to make the background pop a bit and make the black colour more dark. So click this icon:
and you get this window and these colours (imgur). You can play around a lot with selective colour and manipulate colours! So if I turned the black dial on reds to +100, they would become wayyyy darker. However because I want the background to pop, I would use the colours magenta and blue (and black for the final touch). For those my settings are this: 1 - 2 - 3 (imgur). So now my gif looks like this:
And now i think we are done! For comparison, this is what the gif looked like with absolutely no colouring or sharpening:
And that was all for simple colouring!! Lets move on to vibrant colours!!
VIBRANT COLOURING
For this I will use an example from Thor: Ragnarok bc thor is my soft bb. I did not do much for this first example except play around a lot with selective colour and I used the exact way of adding saturation and curves as shown before. Honestly just playing around with selective is the best bet to get vibrant colouring. The gif without sharpening etc was this:
the gif after colouring and sharpening is this:
pretty sweet huh? Just play a lot with saturation, hue and selective colour and channel mixer and you can create a lot of styles that way!
GRADIENT
for this I will use another clip from Thor, but from The Dark World. It is a bare clip where it is raining and I will add a gradient on it. This is the gif without colouring nor sharpening:
now we will do the sharpening and colouring. I already applied a basic curves and saturation layer so now it looks like this:
It looks a bit better right? Ok lets get that gradient applied. Click here:
and click on gradient, NOT gradient maps bc those are different things and I honestly dont know how maps work.
now this is what will appear, I haven’t changed anything to this yet:
What style, colours, angle you choose is up to you. I personally am going for 0 angle because I want it going right. Now, to choose colours, double click on the colour shown next to the word gradient. This window will show up:
The fun part is you can do what you want here. Just experiment, click the buttons, adjust opacity etc. When you click at the bottom of the bar somewhere another stop marker appears meaning you can have even more colours! Just click on the bottom markers and edit to your hearts content! Use the top button to adjust opacities. Personally I went for this gradient:
Ok but now we have a problem because our gradient is fully covering the image and you can’t see anything. That is where blending modes come in. Right click on the gradient layer and click blending options. This window will pop up (ingur). When you click blending mode, these options appear (imgur).
Here is a good guide explaining the blending modes
I just recommend playing around seeing which one suits you. I went for overlay, which makes my final gif look like this:
and that was that on colouring!! Let me know if u have questions about it! Onto the next part, masks!
★★★★★
- masks
I will not go in depth here, but instead I will link some tutorials but the amazing @thepunisher who has explained it much better than I ever will be able to. The tutorials are all in this link. If you have any questions do lmk but idk how I could explain it.
★★★★★
- adding subtitles
although we wish we could, we can’t all lip read so we need subtitles also I’m hard of hearing and need them anyway but yeah, I will quickly highlight how I add subs! I use the font Arial Rounded MT Bold Regular.
I will first link to this post because it helped me a lot and may explain stuff better than I do.
Lets take the keanu gif we had earlier. In it, he says ‘fish flakes’. Now what I do is this. Click on this icon:
and drag a box around the gif fully. Add your text. Mine looks like this now:
Well that ... does not look like a subtitle. BTW my settings are:
*when there are two people speaking I change the colour of the second person to #ffff00 - also for 540px gifs I usually use 12/13px text.
Ok now I will add the stroke and drop shadow. Right click on the layer of text, click blending options and change your stroke and drop shadow settings to this and this (imgur). Now just click the move tool or hit V on keyboard to select it and drag the gif down wherever you want. Now my final gif looks like this:
Ok, now if you have two gifs and you want them to be the same distance from the bottom, right click the text layer of the first gif document, click duplicate layer and you will get this window:
now click on destination and depending on what files you have open in PS, you will get this window:
now just choose where you want the text to go and if the gifs are the same sizes itll appear exactly where it did in the first one and you can edit the text for the second. You can do this with adjustment layers, groups etc too!!
Now text is done! Off to the next part!
★★★★★
- editing frames / timeline speed
We are done editing, now time to convert to frame animation and edit the speed!
Ok click on the four bars on the right side of the video timeline. It will bring up a menu. From there, select this:
This will make individual layers of every frame into clips. Now, click this at the bottom left side of the video timeline:
This will convert your video timeline to a frame animation timeline. Now it looks like this (imgur). you’re probably wondering wait where the heck did my layers go well don’t fret, lets click the four bars on the right side again and click this:
now look! We have got all our frames into the timeline! Just delete the excessive frames at the front. Now click the four bars again, select all frames and then click the number at the bottom and change it to 0.05 or 0.06 or whatever speed you want:
Now we are done with this step!
★★★★★
- multiple gifs in one grid
I myself am not going to explain this, instead here are links to a few amazing tutorials that will help you further
this tut by @brolinjosh
this tut by @futurist
★★★★★
- actions
Now actions ... man they make everything so much easier. Basically actions are a sequence of steps you undertake in photoshop that are recorded which you can then save and use on multiple files. This makes the giffing process much much faster!!! For instance, these are the actions I have saved (mind the doubles lol I am experimenting a bit!)
As you can see, I have one for undertaking the entire video timeline to frame animation process and one for sharpening and the subtitles. It has saved me around 75% of the original time I put into creating sets before which is a lifesaver.
I cannot explain how to make actions bc I am really bad at explaining stuff, but here are some tutorials:
- https://helpx.adobe.com/photoshop/using/creating-actions.html
- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/66560261468/how-make-action-%D0%B7
- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/50583786863/how-to-use-an-action
- https://completeresources.tumblr.com/post/50362731526/how-to-use-actions-on-gifs
https://www.creativebloq.com/adobe/create-own-photoshop-actions-61411918
★★★★★
- exporting the gif
now we’re at the final stage! When you have your gif ready, go to file -> export -> save for web legacy
ok now the next window is this which looks intimidating I know
Well basically, those are my settings above. Make sure the looping option is set at forever. Also on the left size you see how big your gif is, make sure it is under 8mb but tumblr is unstable so keep it under 5MB and it should be fine.
I use different exporting types at times. Sometimes I use selective and pattern, sometimes diffusion or adaptive+dif. Just remember that the gif size depends on which you choose so keep that in mind. Here’s the difference (if u can even spot it).
selective + pattern
selective + diffusion
adaptive + diffusion
Personally I mostly only use selective + pattern!
btw make sure your matte is at NONE!!! This is because otherwise you have those whitish transparent borders on your gif, esp noticable on dark gifs, like shown in this tutorial by the talented @joewright !
And congrats, you have officially made a gif! Now go experiment, have the time of your life and do whatever the heck u want with your gifs. And if you want me to see them, tag me!! I track #usernums !!!
★★★★★
- last minute tips and extra links
man idk what to say here really but here goes:
@completeresources and @allresources are amazing places to learn more about gifmaking, pls take advantage of the opportunity
reminder: quicktime records at 60FPS, so unless you want a laggy gif delete the extra duplicate frames in the frame animation timeline!!
When opening import video frames to layers, do not click skip every second frame!! do not!!!!
Do not steal gifs. Try making them. I know it takes time and it can get frustrating but don’t post someone elses gifs as your own. Even the ugliest gifset in existence made originally by someone is better than a stunning set put together full of stolen gifs from various users. Don’t be that person
Don’t be afraid to ask for help pls just go on anon if u want!!
use the tumblr dimensions!!! I cannot stress enough how important this is because if you don’t, your gifs will look stretched af and lose quality so like .. don’t do that
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
While I may not have a full piece, I do have sketchbook pages and a few many words to say about my experience watching Unus Annus.
Regardless of when you started watching Unus Annus, once you entered the fandom, you were on a timer. The time counted down the days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds that you had to make the most of the channel and the time you had with it.
When I entered, I had 15 days.
15 days.
15 days to try and consume a year's worth of memories and continue making new ones as the channel was nearing its final days.
To be clear, regardless of when you joined the Unus Annus fandom be it the beginning or the end, regardless of whether or not you had merch, regardless of whether or not you watched every single video, you are just as much a part of the fandom as anyone else. It took me a while to allow myself to call myself a "real" fan (even though the term itself is silly). But I digress.
It didn't hit me until that final week that I was running out of time. At first, I only watched a few videos a day. Towards the end, I was watching videos at 2x speed. It was weird and exhausting, but I laughed so many times watching through them. (Seeing Ethan try to swim butterfly in Mark's pool while Mark was decked out in a pool ring, noodles, and floaties was hilarious at that speed. The swimmer in me was cringing, but I was crying of laughter.) And by the end, I hadn't watched some 12 videos. To this day, I regret skipping the '5 Star Meals for 5 Star Dogs' video, especially now that I've gotten to know Chica, Henry, and Spencer post mortem.
But that was so many memories for so little time. I think that's one of the things that stood out to me most.
I spent the entirety of November 13th, 2020 waiting for and watching the stream, trying to stay on as long as I could. I remember staying up until 1 AM ET, November 14th, 2020 before I took a quick one hour nap. In that one hour, Mark got his top hat, Ethan got his tattoo, and when I woke up at 2:00 AM ET, they were in the middle of deleting/taking down the Unus Annus social medias.
I spent that last hour standing at my dresser in the dark where I had my laptop propped up, dressed in pajamas and with my headphones on. I remember taking screenshots of the final few seconds. 2 minutes. 1 minute. 45 seconds. 30 seconds. 20 seconds. In the final ten seconds, I could feel my heart stop and drop to the floor.
Midnight PST, 3 AM ET, and the the screen went dark. I counted the seconds: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. And the broadcast was down.
I spent some time, wandering Tumblr, looking at the Unus Annus merch site, and scrolling up and down the livestream page. I didn't want to click out. Because then it'd be gone. I cried like a baby. And then I shut down my laptop and took off my headphones. And I went to bed with a sad smile on my face.
And the next day? I distinctly remember wearing a white dress with black polka dots on it. It's one of my favorites. Then, there was the shock when Mark and Ethan posted their post mortem videos. I cried again. Then I checked their Twitters and started chuckling to myself, "You jerks. You jerks!"
So a year went by. And I thought of them often. I got back into watching gaming on YouTube because of Unus Annus. I know how stupid it sounds, but it's true; before watching UA, I had fallen out of watching any gaming content. But I missed Mark and Ethan, and I started watching their stuff. I wasn't quite the same, but it was fun, going back to see the people they were and who they became through that one year. And then, I got to see the amazing stuff they've made, have been a part of, and are making! I got to laugh and angrily shake me fist whenever they made a reference to Unus Annus or pretended it didn't exist. I remember that drunk geoguesser stream where Ethan called up Mark and chat was freaking out about it while they jokingly said they didn't want to talk to each other ever again. I remember when Ethan was over at Amy's and they were trying to remember which video it was when Ethan said "Spit! Them! Out!" I remember a lot of things. But I'm also forgetting many. I made it a habit to write down every memory I had of each of the videos. Admittedly, during September and October, I fell out of it. Hopefully, I'll finish the list.
And I can't deny the massive impact Unus Annus had on my art, writing, and music. My personal projects have and continue to have a lot of influences from the themes of death and life, what it means to be human. Unus Annus has given me a new perspective on death and life: to make the most of what you have, that it's okay to be scared and to grieve, but you ultimately have so much time. You have to make as many seconds as you can count. Because you can't get them back. Time waits for no one.
So when I set an alarm for 2:45 AM ET on November 14th, 2021, I felt something very familiar. I sat on my bed in my pajamas with my laptop and headphones and scrolled around Twitter and Tumblr. And when I saw that Mark and Ethan uploaded videos for the death day of the channel, I felt that feeling where my heart slowed down and a deep bittersweet grief filled my chest, and with a sad smile on my face I watched the videos.
And if you've seen any of my posts from last night, you know I cried, and I cried a lot. It was beautiful and touching, and when I rewatched them this morning, I cried more. Any time I watch Ethan's, I start crying as soon as I see the coffin and the quick cuts with all the flowers. I'm glad that people recognize that the fans aren't the only ones who miss Unus Annus. Mark, Ethan, Amy, Evan, Marcus, Rachel, Lixian, and Vincent all lost something that night too.
And now we are here.
Two years since the birth of Unus Annus.
One year since its death.
And we have many years left to go.
I don't really know how to end this. I kind of just rambled about my thoughts because I just have so many of them. I felt bad about not posting anything big or fancy. I had things planned (a medley, a song,
an animation, an art piece), and I could have spent my time better.
But I think reflecting is a good thing too.
We don't know how much time we have left, but we have to make the most of it, giving what we can to make our one life count, doing the things we love and trying things we don't know. Let us learn to live so that we may die without regrets.
Memento Mori,
Unus Annus.
#unus annus#memento mori#we were here#unus annus is over party#ananonspeaks#ananonsart#markiplier#crankgameplays
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
Little Darling 5 - a Lady Dimitrescu x Mia Winters fanfiction
"Mia’s throat felt rough and sore, as if she had caught a cold. Her eyes felt swollen, a good hard cry had probably been the source of it. But when did she cry? Slowly, her vision came back, and she was back in the room she had spent the night in. To her surprise, Bela was standing in a corner, watching her with concerned eyes. “Mother told me to watch over you while she prepares something for you.”, she told the still confused Mia."
does Lady Dimitrescu finally show her real self? how does Mia cope with all the stress of the past few weeks?
thank you all for reading this series! it keeps me excited and on my toes to write for you! if you ever have any ideas or requests, you can hmu on twitter and tumblr under @ rexytasywrites ! love yall <3 <3 <3
Warnings: mental illnesses deluxe
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Mia couldn’t stand the basement much longer. With a broken ‘sorry’, she ran to the staircase, up and into the garden close by, dry heaving against a thousand years old tree. The more things change, the more they stay the same. Mia couldn’t escape the past as much as she tried to tune it off, try to forget it.
On a good day, she woke up with a nightmare while Ethan was snoring soundly next to her. Well, he wasn’t locked in a basement for three years. She acknowledged his scars and his own trauma, but it pale to what Eveline did to the Bakers and her. Alan was a lucky guy, noping out the world before he could experience the pain and dread, getting away with a blue eye and vomiting his guts out.
On a bad day, Mia couldn’t leave the bathroom for hours. She felt the mold growing under her skin, turning her skin black and blue. It grew through her stomach into her throat, weak attempts to purge it out resulted in even more pain. Ethan always stayed by her side when she had a bad day, telling her that her skin wasn’t turning into all colours of the rainbow. Most of the time, her trustful pills helped her, the dizziness clouding her mind just good enough to let her forget what happened.
Ever since, Mia couldn’t eat meat anymore. It reminded her too much of the ‘food’ she had to eat in the basement, forced down her throat by Marguerite. Food poisoning was a monthly event she never looked forward to. Only thanks to Eveline, Mia didn’t perish a few months in. On one side, this monster saved her life - and that was the price?
“Mia.”, Lady Dimitrescu had shown up behind her, concern and worry radiating from her. “Mia, speak with me. What’s the matter?”
“The mold. I can feel it. It’s still growing. Oh Alcina, help me please!”, Mia whimpered out, burying her face in the dress of the tall woman in front of her. Cold tears soaked the fabric, and everything went black in front of Mia’s vision.
*
Mia’s throat felt rough and sore, as if she had caught a cold. Her eyes felt swollen, a good hard cry had probably been the source of it. But when did she cry? Slowly, her vision came back, and she was back in the room she had spent the night in. To her surprise, Bela was standing in a corner, watching her with concerned eyes. “Mother told me to watch over you while she prepares something for you.”, she told the still confused Mia.
“Thank you…”
“There’s a glass of water on the bedside table. And some painkillers. Selfmade by Daniela! Don’t take too much or you will be high as hell for the rest of the day.”, Bela warned her, a chuckle coming from Mia.
“I actually wouldn’t mind that. Hey, I have another medication in my bag. Can you maybe fetch it for me?”, Mia asked Bela as she didn’t trust her legs just yet. Bela looked through Mia’s bag and found the package with zoloft in them, handing it to her.
“Do you need anything else?”
“Something small to eat, otherwise my stomach will turn itself over.”
Bela nodded and disappeared for a few minutes out of the room. She came back with something similar to a bread roll with ham and cheese, probably the romanian version of it. Screw it, everything was a good meal compared to the toxic waste she got at the Baker’s house. Once Mia bit into the bread roll, she remembered that she hadn’t eaten yet and her stomach screamed for something to eat.
Lady Dimitrescu joined Mia after finishing her meal, sitting on the edge of the bed, “How are you feeling, dearest? While you cried into my arms you passed out! I was so worried about you.”
Mia chuckled in embarrassment, a faint blush spreading over her face, “I am feeling better now, thank you. Bela made me a good sandwich, I should thank her for this later on.”
“Here.”, Lady Dimitrescu placed a little bag in Mia’s palm, making her close her fingers around it. “When I was young, my mother made me little bags of lavender, camille and jasmin. I was a nervous child, and these smells helped me calm down. Whenever you are feeling angry, exhausted, or simply alone...smell the bag and know I am here for you when you call me.”
“Wow...thank you Alcina.”, Mia smiled and took a whiff from the bag. It surely smelt...comforting. The smell gave her body the same reaction as a good hug. And how badly she needed some comfort and touch… “You need to know, sometimes when it all becomes too much...my body just shuts down.”, Mia confessed, her eyes still on the bag. “I just pass out. Maybe it’s my body’s way of protecting me? I don’t know.”
“It is. Your body knows you are a precious woman with a bright future ahead of you. And I will help you achieve that.”, Lady Dimitrescu said, earning a raised eyebrow from Mia.
“What do you mean, Alcina?”
“Don’t you think we’d make a great team? My daughters, you, I...you are brilliant and clever. Just the missing link for us to make us unstoppable. Remember what you said about taking over the world? We could do that together...and nothing and no one could stop us once we saved Rosy and killed Redfield.”
For a moment, the lump in Mia’s throat felt like it was going to explode. What...what did she mean with that? Work together? Would she try to turn her into a vampire too? “I...I don’t know if that’s a good idea! I just want my old life back! I want to go home with Ethan and Rosy and cuddle in front of the TV while eating junk food…”, as the tears welled up in her eyes. She’d never come home at this rate. The closer Mia thought she was coming to a home, the further it was ripped away from her.
“It’s okay. Just...keep that in the back of your head. It’s always an option. And now come on. We need to make a battle plan to get Rosy back and Ethan out of whatever dumbassery he got himself into.”, but Lady Dimitrescu couldn’t deny that Mia smelt very invitingly. A neck to dive right into. Maybe she’d take her chance...
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
so here’s my lover secret session’s story... 02/08/2019 london 🏹🇬🇧
i got my dm on twitter on july 16th at 5:15pm and i looked at it thinking someone was trying to boo boo the fool me and it was really gonna say something like “stream ME!” so i opened it not thinking much of it and my heart literally SANK when i saw it was actually REAL. i got the phone call 4 days after from a girl called sara who was from Taylor Nation, she told me everything and i was literally in the storage room in work crying.
so it’s finally august 2nd.. i got up at 5am cause i literally had 4 different trains and 2 ubers to catch, when i finally got to my hotel it was around 11am, i checked in and got ready and went to the meeting point. i was literally the first one there so i panicked thinking i was at the wrong place but more people started to show up and immediately everyone formed little friendship groups who they seemed to have stayed with the whole day which was insane. i met lisa and emma which i’d recognised from twitter because we’d been following each other for so long and then georgia, evie & shiv all came over and we all just bonded and instantly became friends and realised we we’re the brits of the group, there were SO many international fans and it was amazing seeing people come from all over the world! our group was first on the bus and i’m not sure why but we were literally all crying like wtf was going on?? we drove past a few ambulances thinking ‘that’s gonna be our ride home after tonight’ cause at this point i’m like dying and then we finally got to THE HOUSE.
we all go inside, the ME! playlist was on, there was a huge moose head on the wall which we all became really intrigued by, a huge mirror to see ourselves ugly crying, there was food & drinks and little m&m’s with ‘lover’ and hearts on them and i have no idea what was going on in my mind at this point, like i didn’t know what to expect.
so then we all go to the living room we’re there was a bunch of cushions on the floor and a chair and speakers in front of us and i KNEW what was about to go down lads, it’s about to happen, we’re about to hear lover and i just wasn’t ready and i was sat THERE in front of the chair and a few minutes later... SHE COMES OUT FROM BEHIND THIS DOOR LOOKING LIKE LIKE AN ACTUAL GODDESS THAT JUST STEPPED OUT OF HEAVEN AND I DEAD ASS DIED RIGHT THERE THINKING ABOUT THAT AMBULANCE I SAW EARLIER ON CAUSE SHE JUST WASNT REAL. so she’s like “welcome to the lover secret sessions” and the noise that came out me was actually not human at all. she played half the album the first and kept apologising for ranting and going off topic which was so funny, she’s so adorable i was literally in awe. then was like “we’re gonna take a break so you can all go the bathroom, have a drink and stretch your legs” and then mentions she’s made us treats and everyone’s like OMG and she’s literally like “it’s just rice crispy treats i dyed in heart shapes” and it was just the funniest thing bc she’s just so sarcastic but they were the cutest things and just knowing she spent time making them was honestly insane. like i ate a rice crispy heart treat..made by taylor swift? sounds fake. so then as she’s passing them around, she’s goes into the garden and starts talking to everyone and thanking people’s parents and let everyone on her trampoline and just shouts “THESE ARE MY KIDS” with a glass of wine in her hand and it was such a taylor swift moment. it was just surreal like wtf? imagine bouncing on taylor swifts trampoline? i would’ve went on it but i wasn’t about to break my neck before listening to the rest of the album x
okay so we go back in to listen to the rest of the album and throughout the whole album listening part, i just kept crying and she kept looking at me and smiling and singing and i was just bloody in shock. there was one point during a song we’re me and georgia we’re holding onto each other crying and she just looks at us and tilts her head and gives us the most warming smile. right there we both died together it was unreal. but the album HOLY SHIT every song was INSANE. i found it so hard to pick a favourite so i have 3, this album is literally her BEST, and this coming from a speak now stan🤝 i was just the happiest i’ve ever been, it just seemed like a dream. seeing her sat there in front of me so happy and in such a good place, feeling so proud of this album and these songs just made my heart feel so full. what i was feeling in that moment is unexplainable. just pure happiness like i knew life doesn’t get any better than this... right it’s time for the meet and greets and everyone goes back in to the other room whilst they got ready and people started queuing then to go in and meet her, she spent so much time with every single person and seeing everyone’s faces coming out that room was so magical. the event was supposed to be over at 11pm and it’s literally 1:30am when it was my time to meet her. she’d literally been meeting people for HOURS and is 2 and half hours past the end time and she didn’t even mind. everyone was so eager to go inside that me and the girls decided to wait till the end.
so evie had just come out and now it’s my turn. i almost fainted, i was so dizzy and nervous and WHEN I TELL U I WAS PETRIFIED TO GO INSIDE, I ACTUALLY MEAN IT BECAUSE I WAS STOOD OUTSIDE THE DOOR REFUSING TO GO IN FOR ABOUT A MINUTE CAUSE I COULD JUST SEE HER STOOD THERE AND I WASN’T READY BECAUSE LIKE I’VE DREAMT ABOUT THIS MOMENT SINCE FOREVER. emma and lisa we’re stood there laughing trying to force me inside as well as a girl from TN. took me a good minute but i finally walked in, i walk over to her trying not to cry AGAIN and she’s stood there smiling at me and she says to me “it’s tyler isn’t it?” and i was like JDJSKDJD “yeah 😭😭😭😭” cause i didn’t think she knew who i was and i was just randomly picked by TN??? she then pulled me in for the biggest hug and i just felt like this is it, i’m gonna bloody pass out. I TOLD HER THAT WAITING IN THAT QUEUE TO MEET HER WAS LIKE WAITING FOR THE ELECTRIC CHAIR and i was like why tf did i just say that omg but she laughed and was like “omg hahaha it’s like waiting for the electric chair that’s so funny” then i gave her the lover necklace i’d gotten made for her so we had matching and she kept saying how much she loved and how beautiful it was. then said “i love your necklace” with a little smirk because i was wearing her ‘TS’ initial necklace and my heart just went HDAJHDJDDH. then she asked did i enjoy the day and i was like of course??? it was so amazing i couldn’t stop crying and she was like “aw i had so much fun, i love doing these” and then she asked how i’d gotten here and i told her that i had to take 4 trains and she looked so shocked and thanked me for doing that and asked if i was travelling afterwards and i told her i had a hotel and she goes “omg good, PLEASE don’t talk to any strangers” and i’m just like YEAH OF COURSE ANYTHING FOR U MISS SWIFT :’)))) i hugged her about 3 more times and i asked her about tour, and how she found me and she said she’d found me on tumblr and literally said “its tylovestaylor right?” and i was just like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK. IM SCARED. cause i barely use tumblr because i’m the only one who reblogs myself??? and i’d gotten my dm on twitter so my mind was like wtf is going on right now?? i told her i changed my url and she said she’d follow me 🥺 then says “so do you wanna like... take a picture together or something?” YEAH OF COURSE, IM A BIT OF A MESS RN BUT ABSOLUTELY. she asks what i wanted to do for the photo like stand, sit, go near the piano? and i told her to choose because my mind was just all over the place and she says to me “i think one sitting down with our legs crossed over acting all (then does some pose) and stuff” i just couldn’t believe what was actually happening. we sit down next to each other and she grabs my hand and i’m just holding her and the photographer takes the photo and she tells me to have a look to see if i like it and i said i looked so bad and she goes “ITS SO CUTE, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL AND PHOTOGENIC” then the photographer told me i was really photogenic and tay goes “SEE SHE EVEN SAID IT” did taylor swift..who invented photos and beauty... just call me beautiful and photogenic? surely not. so we took one more pic and she said she loved it so i loved it😭😭😭 we got up and hugged again and i just kept saying i love you and she told me i was beautiful and i was like SO ARE U???? and then i told her that i still don’t believe she’s real and she laughed. we hugged again i told her i loved her as i was walking out she shouts “please get home safely” and i said “have a safe flight wherever you’re going next” at the same time and she laughed and was like “OMG THANKYOU?” and i walked out and the emotions i was going through oh my god. i’d just met my favourite person in the entire world? like never in a million years did i think i’d ever meet her let alone get handpicked for secret sessions. i was in so much shock like it wasn’t real. that never happened? i’m still in shock now and literally crying writing this. she was so lovely and welcoming and spoke to me like she’d known me forever.
AND AFTER ALL THAT, SHE DECIDES SHE WANTS ME LITERALLY DEAD AND LIKES MY POST ON HERE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER. RIGHT AFTER I’D MET HER.
i couldn’t get over how beautiful she is, inside and out like i already knew that but seeing her in real life is so different, she’s literally flawless and so cute and delicate and i’ll literally die for this woman. thankyou so much, from the bottom of my heart @taylorswift for choosing me out of 100m+ fans, i’ll never understand why i was chosen but i can’t explain how grateful i am. it was by far the best day i’ve ever had in my 18 years of being alive, nothing will ever come close to that moment. i cant wait for everyone else to hear this album, i miss you and your hugs already and i forgot to tell you because my mind was blank but i’m insanely proud of you and will support you forever. promise.
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
I: Meetings and Photos
Word Count: 3,025
A/N: Hello you lovely people of the Queendom on Tumblr. I’m Kit, and... well, you’ve seen me around enough. I wrote Silence is Never Better, The Tower of London, and maybe a few other things you might have seen around. Anyways...
Welcome to the first chapter of Out of a Book! I’m very excited to share this with you all. I truly hope with heart and soul that you all enjoy this. If you ever want to leave any feedback, feel free to message me, or contact me at one of these profiles:
Instagram: @/Reinapuff
Twitter: @/Reinapuff
If you’d like to be added to the tag list, let me know! I’m always happy to share my work with others!
Tag List: @boombiotch | @silverpetals97 | @watercolored-lemonade | @aveasorae | @parrlyndreams | @dont-lose-your-queerhead | @mindless-pidgeon
––––––––––
A rather early Thursday morning in the city of Syracuse, New York. The time’s about 7:15 in the morning.
The sun was over the horizon, but there was little to no noise inside of the apartment. The birds sang their graces and none of this seemed to be the thing to wake up the sleeping woman. In fact, a little snore escaped from her while she slept. Had her roommate not needed to go to work, she would've turned that against the woman in a heartbeat. But of course, this was not out of malice; the two would see the situation being out of fun. Getting up this early in the morning, however, never came easy for the woman that was still in bed. There were two things able to get her to wake up: the sun hitting her eyes, or an alarm of sorts, whether from a phone or a clock.
On this Thursday morning? It was both of those things that would wake her up.
An aggravated Catherine Parr turned to face away from the sunlight, and to reach for her phone. Forcing herself to sit up to turn the alarm off, Parr set the phone down before stretching her arms up and yawning. She noticed the quiet of the apartment about a few minutes from initially waking up. This meant that she was half asleep for a good little bit. “Ah, Lina went to work. Right, I almost forget she’s a teacher sometimes,” she finishes her sentence with a hum. Catalina Aragón, someone she affectionately called Lina, or even just Aragon. She found it fun to have a Spanish roommate, if she was being honest with herself. Made for a more entertaining time some days.
Parr’s never-resting mind began to try to think as to why she had set an alarm so early in the morning. Was it due to the fact she kept waking up too late? Was it a meeting with her publicist? The woman, for the life of her, could not remember. A hand came up to her forehead, rubbing it a few times before pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is bollocks. I can’t remember why I set my alarms so early,” a groan of frustration comes out under her breath. If she hadn’t turned her alarm off so quickly, she might’ve read the reminder that she had put for it. That didn’t matter much. It would come back to smack her in the face later.
Letting her legs swing over the edge of the bed, Parr pushed herself up and on her feet she landed.
––––––––––
7:45 am.
For Catherine to admit she was ready for the day, she needed one thing, and that one thing was in her hands as she walked back to the small table. Sitting down, the ceramic mug came up to her lips. Coffee. That was the one thing she needed. Her shoulders came up for a moment before they eased up, a smile helping her expression soften up from grumpy-seeming to amused. Opening up her laptop, Catherine softly hummed. A buzz makes her gaze shift from the laptop screen to her phone’s screen, seeing the notification on it. Tapping on it, she allows her phone to open up the email.
From: Cleves, Anna
To: Parr, Catherine
Subject: Planning for next release
Parr,
Writing a short email to remind you about our 8:00 am meeting for the first steps of getting the announcement of your upcoming book release. If you have any ideas post-conference, be sure to write them down and send me an email with them. We can further discuss those at a later date.
Anna Cleves
Media Agent/Public Relations
Bringing her free hand up to her mouth, Catherine Parr forced herself to swallow the mouthful of coffee and then hissed under her breath. “That’s today?! It’s 7:55, I have barely any time to get ready!” Gold star for Cathy Parr. Standing up, the author gave a sigh and quickly disappeared off to the space that was her room in the apartment to at least make herself presentable from the torso up. It did not matter that she was wearing black joggers, so long as she looked like she was ready for a business meeting.
Adjusting her curls so they wouldn’t fall over her face, Catherine paced over to the chair, and sat back down. Now that she had her headset on, and got ready in the nick of time, she patiently waited for the call. There it was. Taking a brief moment to look at herself and adjust her blouse, she answers. “Good morning, Anna.”
“Good morning to you too, Cathy. Glad to see you’re awake at an early time. And you got all dressed up, too! You didn’t have to,” a chuckle. Cleves ran a hand through her hair and gave a smile. “So, we’re looking at what kind of a timeline for the release, exactly?” A slight roll of the eyes, and a shake of the head. “Would’ve been nice to know before I spent the last five minutes panicking over being dressed decently. Anyways, to the main topic. My editor is getting ready to give me the list of revisions made to the draft and then I’m going to once again, go in and edit whatever needs to be changed per her advice. We’re... aiming for maybe... three to six months from now.”
A nod from Anna. Catherine could see the woman looking at a second screen and typing something. Probably notes about all of this. This conversation carried on past 8:30, until it was Anna herself who decided to conclude it. “Sounds wonderful. I’ll be in touch, as per usual. But now that this is over, we can talk about something else, if you’d like.” Although they saw each other maybe once or twice a month in person, Anna and Catherine were quite the close friends–– about as close as Catherine and Catalina, since the two have been roommates since their university days. “Look, I woke up this morning thinking I had nothing to do, and I was just going to text Lina for the grocery list but then your email popped up,” a laugh. The German woman simply shook her head.
“So you got dressed up in a panic, Cathy? I’m shocked.” There was another bout of laughter that interrupted them. Parr found herself nodding. “Of course I did. I’m not going to just answer a conference call from you in a crop top and joggers, and with a messy bun.” The thought of Parr actually having a messy bun made Cleves laugh. “You and messy buns? You’ve got to be kidding me. But good job admitting you’re still halfway in your pajamas.”
Now she rolled her eyes. She rolled them so hard, they could've rolled right off her face.
Catherine shook her head, not being able to help the smile. “Hush. As if you weren't in your own. You’re at home, I know you are!” Her hands went to grab the cup of coffee, and she brought it back up to her lips. She was a bit proud of herself for not having touched it the whole time during the meeting, but now she was craving it. So, she began to drink it, allowing Anna to talk. “Where’s Lina? I’m surprised the woman isn’t around there. Wait, no... never mind, don’t answer that. She’s at work, isn’t she?” A nod. “Yeah, she’s a teacher, Anna. She leaves early. Comes back by dinner time normally.”
It was a safe assumption to say the two were having a fairly good time speaking to each other.
––––––––––
11:11 am.
“Perfect. That’s the shot,” a southern English voice rang out in the studio apartment. That was the voice of the beauty that took the world by storm: Anne Boleyn. “Tu as un bon oeil avec une caméra, Maggie! Ça a l'air super, vraiment. Go on and head on home, you’re good to go. Have fun with the pictures,” the ruby-lipped woman gave a kiss on both cheeks to her photographer friend, who packed up soon after and headed on out. Sitting down on the loveseat, Boleyn ended up getting herself to lay down and hold her phone right above her face.
“Lame.” She scrolls past one post.
“Seen it.” Another.
“What’s this?” A new post from her favorite author. She’d never admit it, but deep down inside, she was a huge nerd. Anne skimmed over the post, her thumb double tapping the screen. Parr’s posts were always inspirational quotes, or some snippets from her works. This one was just an appreciation post. A smile began to form, with it eventually becoming a light laugh. “She’s so kind! It’s amazing how someone so famous has a golden heart. And I’m sure she knows she’s got the fame.”
Most of the remainder of the morning for Anne was spent laying down, on Instagram, with no care in the world. Truly, the woman was one of a rather mellow personality. And in her spare time, she loved a good book. Deciding she’d had enough of Instagram for the time being, she closed out of the app and opened up another one. Probably delivery or something, considering it was approaching the afternoon and she felt her stomach rumble just a little. “Good thing I decided to get food. Has it really been almost five hours since I ate?”
An early riser, she was. On most days, Boleyn woke herself up at around three in the morning to go work out from maybe 3:30 to 4:45 in the morning. Sometimes she’d extend that work out to 5:45 in the morning. Then it was off to come back home, shower and get comfortable to be in the kitchen and cooking food for herself by around the 6:45 mark. She was always eating by seven in the morning, if not ten minutes later. But she was feeling particularly lazy today, so she’d take advantage of the day to just lounge around.
Standing up, Anne left her phone face down on the loveseat. She didn’t need it to get comfortable. And to be fair, it took her maybe about ten minutes, because the majority of it was her washing her face and making sure to take good care of that. She did however, come out of her bedroom with her glasses on. Now that she was alone for the day, she could just be Anne. No contacts, no sunglasses. Just plain Anne Boleyn. She was a huge nerd growing up, and she knew this to be quite true. She loved herself, and she truly did love her modeling career, but she found it odd to be both a nerd and a super famous model at the same time.
So, she’d keep her personal life to herself. Just like that.
––––––––––
1:00 pm.
Having finished her lunch around fifteen minutes ago, and having cleaned everything up, Anne found herself at a crossroads during the day. She could take her glasses off, grab a blanket, and take a nice nap. She could go out to the local shops and peruse their inventories. She could get into the kitchen, and do some meal prepping. She had options, but she just couldn’t quite put her finger on what she wanted to do. Shrugging it off, the woman reached for the bookshelf. One of Parr’s books was in her hands.
Anne couldn’t quite tell what drew her into Catherine’s writings. Her books were not quite memoirs, but not quite fully opinionated pieces either. However, they did fall into the non-fiction category. Think of it as a discourse, kind of–– but one full of opinion, experience, and even proven fact. She was a strong woman, and had morals. Anne Boleyn was drawn to that from the first day she picked up a book by Catherine Parr. Laying back down on the loveseat, she opened up the book with a smile.
“A well deserved following,” she’d softly mutter. Her smile became less and less of one until her face was deadpan; a sign she was focused on reading. Word by word and page by page. Killer looks in front of the camera and the world, but a calm and soft appearance in private. This was something Anne showed maybe once or twice, since she has occasionally posted on her Instagram stories a picture or a video with her in her glasses.
One page became another as the time passed. Page to page, eventually book to book. Anne was in one of her reading holes, humming to herself to add a little more entertainment to her already uplifted mood. What broke her out of the daze was her phone ringing. A phone call. Pulling the phone out from underneath her, Anne answered after reading the caller ID. Maggie. Probably an update about the pictures or something.
“Anne! Bonne nouvelle, mon ami! I’ll have these edited by tonight or tomorrow at best. You’ll be right back on a runway soon enough with these,” Maggie sounded excited. A smile came across Anne’s lips. “Besides, you now have an updated picture for events instead of having to use the one from three years ago! Isn’t that great?” Sitting up, Boleyn set the book down and nodded to herself. “Oui. Merci à vous, comme d'habitude, Maggie. You work miracles,” she chuckles. “We’ll talk later. I might just take a nap or binge some Netflix.”
The conversation carried on for maybe five more minutes before Maggie hung up. Quite literally Anne’s best friend from childhood. Put the two together nowadays, and if Maggie had her camera or Anne’s phone in her hand, it was a photoshoot wherever they went. Safe to say that Maggie was responsible for the solid 90% of Anne’s feed that wasn’t selfies and food posts. Count your blessings, they always say. And despite the overwhelming following, Boleyn truly was grateful for what she had. Every single bit of fame that came her way? She was thankful she managed to get that far.
––––––––––
6:30 pm.
“Cathy? Estoy aquí y traje comida!”
Catalina had shut the door to the apartment as she finished that statement. Catherine peeked from behind the wall, before stepping out into view and smiling. “How was work, Lina?” Setting the food down on the table, one could see Catalina’s eyes roll to the back of her head for a moment. Looks like she had a troublesome day, considering she wasn't too cheery coming in the door. “Don’t get me started on it, Cathy. They were so unruly today for no reason. Part of me wonders if it’s the fact that they’re teenagers or not, but... it was unreal. The few that sit by my desk in the back of the classroom? They kept their cool, and I was glad about that.”
Catalina and Catherine both opened up their respective take out containers.
“Pero, gran y poderoso Señor... it was a nightmare today.”
A snicker came from Parr. “That’s why I don’t teach English. Could you imagine it? I’d be being told I’m spelling stuff like colour and favourite, or honour wrong! I’m English, we spell it differently than the Americans!” That snicker became a laugh. Catalina couldn’t help but laugh herself. “But truly, I’m so sorry you had to deal with a rowdy bunch today. Maybe they will be more mellow tomorrow. One day is just one day, and you have had one bad day... what... once every few months normally?”
“Yeah, it does happen every few months. So, I guess I won’t worry too much.” Catalina just shrugged it off, stuffing a spoonful of rice into her mouth.
––––––––––
A bite of chicken found itself on Anne’s fork. She was staring at her food, debating whether she should, or should not, post the dinner she so graciously decided to make. One could see the questioning glimmer in her eyes. The voice across the room made her attention snap from the plate to the source of the voice. “Je sais que c'est joli, mais allez, Anne. You haven’t touched your own food!” A bit of a laugh from Maggie. “I know, I know. Look, I just... wonder sometimes, if there’s anything else I can add to it. I always do that after I finish something.”
“I can tell. Just like when we were kids. You ALWAYS wanted to experiment more with your food. It’s almost like you live to be chaos.”
“Well, I mean... have you seen how I look? I’m chaos disguised as a babe. I like to think I’m pretty fit, after all,” there was the laugh from Boleyn. Shrugging it off, she just started to eat. Maggie was the one to continue the conversation. “Speaking of things you like, Anne... has that favorite author of yours posted anything? You always had a bit of a love for books. I saw that appreciation post earlier, and thought that was sweet. Even with the fame she has to her name, she remains humble. D’you know what, Anne? It reminds me of you a little.”
“How so?”
“Because you are the exact same way! Even with this huge following, you... you take the time to reach out and say thank you! You’re quite humble, despite what your looks say about you. I guess that whole don’t judge a book by its cover thing is real. Also, how do you just know how to make chicken taste good? This is amazing! I’m surprised you didn't go to culinary school,” Maggie practically shoved her food into her mouth, knowing that it would make Anne Boleyn laugh.
––––––––––
At the end of the night, both women could be found doing the exact same thing before they made themselves fall asleep:
Scrolling through their social media pages. One admiring the other’s confidence, and one admiring the other’s intelligence. A fair trade off to it all.
And despite the surprisingly good chaos from earlier on in the day, Anne Boleyn and Catherine Parr both could agree on one thing:
That there would be one day that their paths cross.
#Out of a Book#Catherine Parr#Anne Boleyn#six the musical#six the musical fanfiction#six the musical fanfic#Parrlyn#six ff#six fanfiction
70 notes
·
View notes
Photo
The story of the Black PU set photo shoot #1
It’s been a while since I last posted here, mostly because most of my activity is on Twitter now. In case you’re interested but didn’t get the notice, here is my twitter: https://twitter.com/babypp2015
Anyway, this is a story too long to be told on twitter, so here I am telling the tale on tumblr. It happened in the beginning of Oct, 2020. And here we go...
There were 4 consecutive public holidays last weekend, there’s no excuse for me not to dress up and make something. Spent the first day just relaxing and gaming. Got busy with some unexpected issue on the 2nd day, so I could only spend the 2nd night finalizing the outfit.
I planned to have a video session in the night anyway, but since family was out late morning and I expected them to return in at least 3-4 hours, I was thinking, should I do it during the day? The good about doing it during the day and an empty house is that I can make more noise. However, the street was busy and there would also be more noise in my vid too. And time is pretty tight, there’s the risk of family returning before I’m done!
Then I realized, hey, why not just do a photo session first? Noise would not be a problem, a photo session takes less time, I could use it as a dress rehearsal for my video session, and I would have at least some photos to show if I couldn’t make the video. Plus, doing both photo and video in one session is both too time consuming and tiring to me, so it was perfect to just do photos first, and video at night.
There’s less setting up for photos, but still I wanted to be safe on the time, so I only put on minimal makeup and got things started. I’ll leave the story about the outfit for later, for now just say I spent about 45 mins and took 86 shots, and then put in another 10 minutes for a short vid.
So it was done and I hopped off my bed, looking at all the stuff around planning for the clean up. And then THE DOORBELL RANG!
To be continued...
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
OTP tag game.
Tagged by @captainjowl. You know for sure than I'm struggling to pick only 10 & fit them in here. But hell, that’s fun, thank you <3
Rules: Choose 10 OTPs BEFORE reading the questions, and then get to answering
1) Harry James Potter & Sirius Orion Black
2) Daniel Le Domas & Grace (Ready or Not 2019)
3) Samuel & Nathan Drake (Uncharted 4)
4) Corvo Attano & The Outsider (+probably Emily Kaldwin; Dishonored series)
5) Steve Grant Rogers & Bucky Buchanan Barnes (Marvel)
6) Tony Edward Stark & Peter Benjamin Parker (Marvel)
7) Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands video game series)
8) Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (TVD Books & a tv show)
9) Batman & Joker (in every universe, really)
10) Adam Jensen x Francis Pritchard (Deus Ex video game series)
1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?
I believe it didn't hit me before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Civil War was about Steve & Bucky for me, but when I saw that growing up Peter with Tony, their dynamic, chemistry. Tom & Robert are really just like that.
2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?
Lmao. I've read like 50% of the tag on AO3, I wrote my own & started a few wips on them. They are amazing. Plus, with that shitty canon? We didn't get enough of them & they deserved better, so it's only logical to save yourself with fanfiction.
3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?
I was living with The Outsider icon on my twitter & tumblr. That one is still my Google profile picture I believe. Don't remember about having an icon with the two of them. Also had The Outsider as my lockscreen on my smartphone for a while.
4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?
Funny how it fits canon, lmao. Rhys literally tried to erase Jack's AI in TFTBL, so I guess another day on Pandora, nothing new. They torture each other, they kiss each other, they kill other people in the process. It'll be fiiine.
5. Why is 1 so important?
I love them since the first time I met them, which was much more than 10 years ago, I don't even remember when. At some point they were the reason I was waking up & forcing myself to eat just to read more fanfiction & feel something. Even if I was drowning in pain (I was extremely depressed), it was still something. I read every fic I could find at that time. The depression that Harry went through, all these feelings, his love for Sirius. I was living through it, I could relate.
I'm currently drowning in these two again, though in a much healthier & happier state. I see their flaws & I know as much as I can. I see them differently as an adult. They saved me, they keep being my number one, I still consider making a tattoo of Padfoot/Sirius or of both Harry & Sirius together. I have many headcanons, ideas, I write fics about them. They are everything, you see? They were my choice when there was nothing, no one. They are HOME.
6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?
Both. There goes the dynamic of Jack & Rhys: torture, fighting, flirting, a lot of trauma. I'd definitely say that they are wild and comical sometimes, but they are definitely serious. With the Asylum, the mental health issues. There is so much more to it, the complexity of their relationship. The struggle of loving who you probably shouldn't (but hey, when does it work like that?) Thinking about Tettlate's Batman, about Batman: Europa & how Joker was: "You must be crazy, putting me in charge of the plan, letting me decide. Okay, well..."
Nah, they are entertaining, but this is a serious ship.
7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?
Are you kidding me? They are all the definition of CHEMISTRY. I'd say 5, but then go 2, 6, 7, 8. Come on. I'm not choosing. Most of they are WILD.
9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?
The fandom itself? Idk. I found one of my favourite artists through this fandom. If it's about the characters themselves, I played the first game with the DLC from start to beginning, looking around every corner. Spent more than 60 hours in there. Watched a second game (my laptop can't run the game) and the DLC (obviously), since Francis is in the DLC & not in the main game. I have a tag for them on tumblr, I read fanfiction, I tried to write my own. I still follow Elias & want a third game. Elias liked my tweets about Adam and Jensen being an actual couple a few times. I'd say I interacted with all of this a lot? Still do, actually.
10. Which ship has lasted the longest?
5. Best friends since childhood, fought & died for each other, still found their way back to each other. "It would break your Captain's heart, to see what they did to you." That only the MENTION of Steve can pull Bucky out of this brain washing(ed?) state, distract him in the middle of a fight. When Steve died in the comics because of Sharon & Tony sent Natasha to take Steve's shield from Bucky because even Tony knew how much Steve means to Bucky. And Bucky was like: "Oh, I see what he did. Not happening!" Fought Natasha (that is his ex in the comics) & kept going for Steve's sake.
Well, you see the point, I can go on and on.
11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?
They're not actually canon so none? They had a few fights: In Civil war (the comics), in Homecoming (the movie). That only means that they’ve got history & love each other.
12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?
As fierce Grace is, they wouldn't stand a chance against Damon & Elena. Those two had to deal with worst thing than brainless stupid zombies. On the other hand, if there were no alive humans to drink their blood... It's either an animal diet that Damon hates so much or I don't know? Still, they're faster & more powerful. Their bodies have advantage of healing the wounds as well.
13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?
From some people, yeah. Don't tell Athena, don't tell Vaughn, don't tell Fiona. Though Rhys wasn't very subtle about it & Jack just doesn't give a fuck. You will probably end up dead if you disagree or bore him, or if you're useless.
"I can take you to the top, but you gotta know where the top is" & Rhys doesn't tell anybody until Jack makes him the President for like whole 20 minutes lol.
Fiona & Sasha: "This can't be happening." Sure it can, darling.
14. Is 4 still together?
I have a headcanon about The Outsider finding Emily & Corvo after Billie frees him from the Void. He doesn't have anybody & they are his only friends aside from a potential friendship with Billie. And if we don't consider TOTO dlc, they definitely are! The Outsider visits them both when they sleep & takes them to the void sometimes. How could he not?
15. Is 10 canon?
Not really but also sort of? Let's say that they really care about each other in canon, despite Adam pushing Francis away because of his trauma & fear that Megan caused him. :/
16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?
Can you imagine wizards fighting extremely powerful vampires? Superheroes with venom in their bodies that make them super strong with people that made a deal with the Devil himself (hi Le Bail)? 5000 y.o. God and his lover that share his powers and an augmented human protecting his tired IT guy? Combine mental health issues to that, Jack and Rhys with Batman and Joker. Corvo & The Outsider would probably slay them all as Corvo and Emily did in both games with entire islands, though it will still be a slaughter anyway.
17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?
All the fucking time, lmaooo. I’m not even talking about it.
18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?
I feel like I already did with Steve & Bucky after many Marvel movies (we're not even mentioning Endg*me, I fucking died & was dead for full 4-5 months).
19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?
I used to do that a few years back, but not anymore. There is not much content since the trilogy is finished.
20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?
1 already went through it & fandom lives, so I'd say maybe 7? Rhys will find a way to bring Jack back & they are both so wild. It’s what happened in canon anyway. Jack kidnapped Lilith & forced her to do Angel's job, so I'd like to see that witch try at first. Jack is an immortal bastard. <3
Now that I think about it, Corvo would also deal with her in seconds as she waits to curse them.
As a conclusion: no one breaks up forever, we're killing the witch.
I tag: @ianmillkovichgallagher & @aledbr
Whoever else wants to join the game, please do.
#otp#me#tumblr#harry x sirius#delena#corvosider#rhack#tony x peter#batjokes#jensard#steve x bucky#ready or not#drakecest
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Week 4. Finished the challenge and faced Christmas with the family (did as best I could manage to deal with that, though)...
-
Dec. 19
I woke up after 1PM, today.
After a bit of the usual, I did today’s exercise.
First, today’s DD. 1′ raised leg elbow plank with EC (30″/30″). Just about manageable. Probably not the best idea not properly re-hydrating myself this morning beforehand.
Second, Day 19 of the ‘20ACC. 3x19 jumping jacks, done in one super-set. Very breezy work. (For the most part, given poor food/drink choices earlier.)
Last, Day 19 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Yeah, was regretting just drinking coffee for fluids during this. But I got through it. I do like all the kicks, though.
I spent some time updating some logs again, doing some dishes, breaking down some boxes... and then had to clean up a flooded kitchen sink cabinet because didn’t realize just HOW MUCH had been pooling underneath, since I last checked. That was fucking fun.
(The Uncle was responsible for breaking the sink in the first place - shut down the idea of having him fix that so fucking fast with Dad.)
To chill out, I spent rest of night on the usual stuff.
I went to bed obscenely late again, somewhat later than yesterday.
-
Dec. 20
I woke up after 2PM.
After some browsing, I did today’s exercises.
First, today’s DD. 1′ plank punches with EC. I counted 54 reps. Got a tiny bit sloppy due to shirt/sleeves slipping as I went, very distracting. Would’ve been more fun, otherwise. :P
Second, Day 20 of the ‘20ACC. 3x20 butt kicks, done in one super-set. This was fairly breezy to knock out.
Last, Day 20 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. It was pretty manageable - not super consistent with my push-up form. Was a bit miffed about the phone ringing mid-set once. Hope that wasn’t important. =_=
Spent some time on the usual before our double feature movie night. We watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and Die Hard. Festive and amusing to think of iZ!AU stuff in process.
Got to bed earlier than yesterday, still in the red.
-
Dec. 21
I woke up a bit before noon.
After tumblr/etc., I did today’s exercises. (Also dad called for a plumber today to fix the damn sink that the uncle broke, finally.)
First, today’s DD. 1′ bicep flex hold with EC. I thought this was a tiny bit easy to hold it... but then I felt the ache/strain after releasing. Not too intensely, but noticeable. Still a fun one and it’s nice for me to notice my biceps at this point. (Though at distance, isn’t as noticeable.)
Second, Day 21 of the ‘20ACC. 3x21 bridges, done in one super-set. That got pretty intense in the last third or so. Glutes certainly felt that one.
Last, Day 21 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. I’m pretty happy that I can manage that load still. Also liked not dealing with neck strain at all today.
I spent rest of night on the usual noise - including researching a medical issue that I think is relevant to iZ!AU... but probably won’t actually get worked into it. (It was about something called TTTS, and it’s a pregnancy complication.) :,D
Got to bed earlier than yesterday, still in the red.
-
Dec. 22
I woke up after noon and one of the first things I did was today’s exercise.
First, today’s DD. 2′ one arm plank with EC (1′/1′.) This took some digging in and i really felt my abs. But I’m happy I could manage it.
Second, Day 22 of the ‘20ACC. 3x22 flutter kicks, done in one super-set. Manageable to get that many down in one go. Partly because flutter kicks are one of those faster exercises.
Last, Day 22 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Thought about shortening rests a bit more, but decided against it. Fun sequence, though! Turning kicks require being attentive of the knees but arguably on of the more fun ones to pull off. Just something satisfying about the arcing motion (similar feelings to throwing hooks.)
I then made today’s Hello Fresh Dinner. Plant-based protein rigatoni alla rossa. I personally liked this one reasonably well. Got a meh from everyone else. Probably won’t be for awhile before we do this one again.
I spent a few hours after that playing Cards Against Humanity with some folks. Had a lot of fun. A lot of laughing to the point of tears.
I got to bed later than yesterday.
-
Dec. 23
I got up after noon.
After I spent time on twitter and doing some music binging (getting overstimulated and hungry) - got to my exercise stuff again.
First, today’s DD. 15 jump squats with EC. Manageable, hope I minded the knees well enough.
Second, Day 23 of the ‘20ACC. 3x23 arm circles, done in one super-set. I did 1 extra so I could have an even number to split for both directions of rotating. Breezy work.
(Did some more music binging/tinkering stuff, mostly playing with Boil The Frog.)
Last, Day 23 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. The first set was an uncoordinated hot mess and had to keep checking the sheet. But got into a rhythm after that without needing to think too much.
Spent rest of night on the usual. I just was so tired.
I just barely got to bed around the red-yellow threshold (a few minutes after 2AM) - definitely indication of just how much of a low-energy day today was. I was just absolutely exhausted.
-
Dec. 24
I woke up a bit after noon today.
One of the first things I got squared away was exercise.
First, today’s DD. 2′ tree pose with EC (1′/1′). For first side foot slipped down at some point, so I had to adjust and tuck it back in place. I was still keeping my balance during that so I’ll count it. I do still enjoy how meditative this exercise is.
Second, Day 24 of the ‘20 Advent Calendar Challenge. 3x24 high knees, done in one super-set. Fairly breezy to manage that way, too. Another challenge in the bag.
Last, Day 24 of the FhP. Level 3, 1′ rest. Manageable - I think the side bridges were the more intensive part of the sequence. Again, glad I could keep my head down too.
Spent some time updating some logs after that.
I then made today’s Hello Fresh meal. Country beef & mushroom pot pie. Mostly everyone liked this well enough. [Re-]Learned that cobblers can also be savory from thinking this recipe looked more like stew and dumplings.
Then did some dishes, hit the showers, and cleaned my room. Did some to the usual stuff too.
I was so tired I managed to get to bed in the yellow zone.
-
Dec. 25
I woke up after 11AM.
We opened all our Christmas gifts in the morning. I got a really nice set of headphones (comfortable fit & sans mic; my older set was on the way out & was probably a decade old at this point), a comfy/loose sweater, and Pokemon Omega Ruby.
I spent some time before heading out to the grandparents’ place playing Pokemon. Played it some more while there, while waiting on Grandma to finish cooking the dinner. Partly to keep up some walls with the grandpa.
Dinner/dessert was tasty but a bit tense for a couple conversational topics that I had felt wrong/uncomfortable. But I just held my tongue. Too tired to engage those threads.
Played a couple games of contract rummy with dad and Grandma. Grandma won both games. We then made our way home - it was pelting rain by the time we got there.
Spent rest of night mostly chatting a bit and playing more Pokemon.
Still tired, I went to bed in the yellow zone again. A bit earlier than yesterday, even.
-
Summary of Experience:
I completed the ‘20 Advent Calendar Challenge on December 24. I did all but one day in one super-set (it was the upward/downward dogs day, Day 11 kicked my ass). It was pretty fun to try to challenge myself with this one - since there were a few days I was tempted to break up but didn’t.
#adventures with fitness#adventures with hello fresh#family shit/#christmas/#(this wk kinda killed me in terms of my energy lvls)
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
unintentional; i just can’t stay by your side
You’ve worked hard for everything you’ve gotten and Mark Lee is a soft twist in your busy life, but you know hiding part of yourself eventually always bites anyone in the ass.
Word count: 19k - part 4/5
Reader x Mark Lee
(M)
masterlist // warnings
Mark hadn’t texted you back yet even once you woke up, sending you into a slight worry. The night shift had been hell and you were trying hard not to worry about Mark on his flight; you already had so much on your plate after your time spent away with him.
a/n: this chapter contains smut
You quickly logged onto Tumblr and tried to get some kind of update, blinking a bit when you saw nothing from searching his name and moved to Twitter. You were still met with nothing. The signs were both good and bad. No bad news, but that didn’t necessarily mean it was all good. You decided to text him again, but hoped you weren’t being too much. You’d already sent a few texts and you were scared to text the other members in fear that something bad had happened; you couldn’t handle if that was the truth.
Everything okay? Missing you :(
You sighed, tossing your phone to the side and staring at your ceiling, alone in your empty bed. It was the first time Mark had been away from your country since you met and you hated that you were feeling this way, but you couldn’t help it. You got up and tried to busy yourself by cleaning and taking your things from the spare room to set your decorations back up. You thought it would make you feel better to do so and to see things that reminded you of him, so you reorganized your memorabilia with no avail, trying to wait patiently for a response.
Mark was probably busy, you decided. Baekhyun had blown up his phone and he was back at home so maybe he was catching up, but you thought a text message wasn’t too much to get. Mark was normally good at responding, wonderful even. So, it was only a bit odd that you’d gotten nothing since his just landed! text that you’d gotten at 7pm the previous night. It had been about a day and a half since you dropped him off and the flight was almost 16 hours, so something didn’t feel right. It should’ve been nearing 1am at that point. You’d have to get used to the time difference, unfortunately.
You decided on cleaning your whole apartment to distract yourself and take a day off, calling the housecleaner off yet again. You needed to keep your mind busy until Mark would text you back. It took about an hour after you started your cleaning, but you finally got a response, gasping when you saw the name on your phone. You had to calm down for just a moment before opening it, smiling and trying to relax. It had been way too long for a response, but you were going to give him space.
Hey
You swallowed. He hadn’t ever texted you a greeting like that before, he always used emojis and overused exclamation points, so just the simple word bothered you. You tried to shake it off, texting him eagerly as always.
hey!! how is everything?
You hoped you’d get a better response, but you were left disappointed.
its okay i guess, i’m pretty busy.
You gulped, not liking the tension, but after all it was over text message, so you shouldn’t be as worried as you were. but something didn’t feel right. You tried to find the right words to respond but were cut short by the ellipsis followed by another text.
Can we like, talk?
Of course, you could talk to him. You shockingly weren’t busy, and you always made time for Mark.
yeah of course! you wanna call me? 💞
You tried to ease whatever was going on with your own sweetness, hoping it would be returned.
Not really.. I’m kind of in the middle of something, but I have to talk to you.
Oh no, there it was. Something was happening. You wanted to play the joke card to ease the tension because he always wanted to call you, he rarely didn’t call you for at least a minute when you asked, but you had to understand that he was back home and things would be different when he was there. It was much more dangerous. You watched the dots appear on your screen again, pausing your own thoughts for response.
Are you like, an nctzen?
Mark felt stupid for asking like that, but they were the only words he could come up with. You thought it was cute and you didn’t think anything of that message, which eased your concern a bit.
well yeah, dummy 😂 why wouldn’t I be?
More dots showed up, quicker this time.
No. That’s not what I mean.
You swallowed again.
Mark was sitting at home awake much too early with Taeyong sleeping, not really wanting to talk to him about the situation either. Taeyong didn’t seem like anything was wrong and that bothered Mark to no end. He sighed, typing a response again and he only saw the read receipt from you.
Like. Okay. Were you a fan of us, before all this happened? Like from the beginning. When you met me.
Your heart was beating fast, staring blankly at the message. Fuck, you should’ve told him by now. You had the time, you had the ability to tell him the whole time, you don’t know why you hadn’t. Of course, you knew that it was more of a possibility of him tossing you away that scared you into not telling him in the first place. You had every opportunity to come clean and you hadn’t. You feared his judgement and it swayed your truth. You sat in guilt on it for so long, hoping it would turn out to be fine and be something you laughed about later on, but it didn’t seem like that was how the conversation was going to go. At all. You were nervous, you wanted to deflect, buy some time. Maybe he was just asking to clear his own head and you were thinking too hard into it.
mark baby what’s this about?
You felt stupid for asking like that at the seriousness of the conversation, sighing and deciding on sending another message.
can you call me later? i can tell something is up, we can talk about it later if youre busy okay? focus on your work, i love you.
You had forgotten about the time again, just assuming that he was busy with other things. He did have extremely tight schedules after all.
I’ll call you later.
Okay, I’ll be here to answer, alright?
And like that, you got no further response, no I love you too, just a read receipt and a bad feeling in your gut. You sighed, checking on the time difference. Mark had to have been home in his dorm, lying awake either much too late or up too early and you knew how things got to him in the hours between night and morning. Maybe he needed to sleep whatever off, you would give him the space. You decided to try and busy yourself with cleaning again, but you found yourself obsessively checking on Tumblr, Twitter, and anywhere else you could think to find any information on what Mark had been up to. You knew it was wrong, but you thought your worries would be eased. What if he found your accounts? Maybe that was what this was about, but you didn’t think so. Mark wasn’t very big on social media in general, so you doubted he’d find you easily.
The feeling in your gut didn’t subside for a few hours, aimlessly wandering around your apartment and trying to straighten up even more, but everything was reminding you of the last week and the fact that Mark had just been there days ago and now he was back home questioning you over text message and nothing felt like it was making any sense. You didn’t know what exactly you did wrong, but there were so many ways he could have found out, you weren’t exactly sneaky, you just didn’t tell him the whole truth.
You sighed heavily, deciding to text your friends to figure out what was up. Irene was still pretty angry with you for ditching your responsibilities to follow a concert tour and you’d hardly seen her aside from in passing without questioning you, so you didn’t know what she’d think if you messaged her about Mark. She was off of the option list. Yeri seemed like a valid person to give decent feedback, so you shot her a message.
Yeri sweetie I’m freaking out I don’t know what to do
She was always quick to reply.
Oh god what’s happening are you okay
Not really, I think I fucked up with Mark and I don’t know what to do
Holy shit wait, are you still talking to him????
dude AM i?? We kinda made things official and he came to visit me a week ago shit im sorry I haven’t updated you
no fucking way dude I still have Lucas in my DMs… man what have we gotten ourselves into???
lucas??? in your DMs???
YES OMG but okay that doesn’t matter what’s happening with Marky Mark???
You’d return to the Lucas conversation at a later date, that didn’t matter right now. You wanted guidance and you knew Yeri wasn’t the best at advice, but she was great at listening and offering a helping hand as much as she could give you, so it was helpful.
okay so he texted me some cryptic stuff and I’m just really nervous that i messed something up
Alright stop freaking out lmao, I’m sure everything’s fine and you’re just being dramatic!! What did he say?
You sighed and screenshot the last bit of your conversation and sent it, hopefully trying to get a better answer. It felt wrong to share your conversations with him, but you felt it was the best way to help you and get a clearer answer. Yeri knew you had put up the charade in the first place and wasn’t too fond of the idea, but she’d never tell you that. She’d act oblivious as much as she could to stay on your side.
What could that be about?? Did someone get to him and try to make you look bad??
Yeri i literally have no idea, I’m freaking out trying to figure it out! It’s like 2am there and I don’t want to bother him again to talk
Okay sweetie well just let it ride out, see what he has to say and call him in the morning! Don’t freak out too much yet, I’m sure it’s fine!! i love you!!!
You sighed again, hoping that Yeri was right, she usually was, but Irene usually had a more practical answer. Irene wasn’t someone you could ask about this though, she’d be angry with you for trying to focus on someone instead of your work and you hadn’t even updated her on exactly what was going on, so she was out of the loop to begin with and telling another person didn’t seem like it was in the best interest of you or Mark. You frowned, hoping that you’d calm down a little more before going to sleep because it had gotten dark before you realized how fast time had flown by. Maybe you’d send him one last text, just to ease your own mind.
Hey, I know it’s late, but I’m worried I did something to upset you and that’s the last thing I want, can we talk as soon as possible?
Yeah, I’ll call you in the morning.
Goodnight.
Sleep well, okay?
He’d never been so short with you before, just hoping that it wasn’t an issue you created because you didn’t think you did anything for him to find out. Maybe someone else was speculating and it wasn’t on you at all. You tried to convince yourself that maybe someone had him paranoid instead of it being something you did. You were trying to be optimistic and hoped it would all just blow over. It would break your heart to have ruined it yourself because things were going so well, and it was so long since you’d been so happy before. You sat in your freshly made bed, hoping to relax a bit. A few hours passed, still trying to find things to ease your mind before it was getting late. Still no call from Mark and no other texts from him either. You checked the time, hoping it was getting to be around morning time for him. Maybe you’d get lucky and he needed to be up early.
Your hopes were answered when you received a text around 4pm.
Is now a good time?
Your heart was racing faster than you’d ever felt it, your stomach in knots.
-
Mark had the chance to talk to Taeyong, who had more of a difficult time talking to him than he thought possible, Taeyong’s nerves were shot and he spent his hardest time trying to defend you.
“So you knew about this, like, the whole time?”
“Well, no..” Taeyong sighed, scratching behind his ear nervously. “I only found out after we went bowling and Baekhyun-hyung had me come in the room with him and-“
“So you helped him go through the suitcase?”
“No, not at all, I-um- actually told him not to, but you know he’s very persistent and-“
“Taeyong, come on, please.” Mark nearly looked on the verge of tears. “You know I hate being lied to, I hate it so much, so why didn’t you tell me?” He pleaded with his leader, hoping to get a better answer than the upsetting one he was getting.
“I-“ Taeyong sighed. “I saw how happy you were, and I know that we all get a bit uncomfortable when we try to talk to someone and they’re a fan, and I-“ He tried to gather his words, earning a disappointing look from Mark. “I didn’t want you to make that mistake.” Taeyong was honest, he was pure at heart and only wished for the best in people. The last thing he wanted was for Mark to give up his chance of pursuing you because of the stigma around dating a fan, so he stayed quiet and it was biting him in the ass.
“Well, now I might have made another mistake because I’ve been lied to for the last, what? Few months?” Mark scoffed. “Does anyone else know? I mean come on, we’re all in a group chat with half of 127, you know how awkward that is that I literally introduced them to someone who possibly fucking idolizes them? That’s so weird dude!” Mark didn’t like the idea of putting Yuta, Jaehyun, Johnny, or anyone else in danger and it would be all his fault if something happened, the boys were weird and texted dumb things and private conversations, so it wasn’t a good look to have you knowing them all like that. Granted, they were adults and could have spoken up and denied being added, but Mark knew they all believed the best in people, which is why he made the chat in the first place.
Taeyong gulped again, trying to get Mark to calm down before he spoke again. “Nobody else knows.”
“Nobody?” Mark didn’t seem so sure.
“No, Baekhyun hasn’t told anyone either.” Taeyong was biting his nails, looking anywhere but in Mark’s eyes. He was almost sure that Baekhyun hadn’t told anyone because he seemed so adamant that the word shouldn’t get out, but Taeyong wasn’t entirely positive.
“You sure?” Mark asked, pleading for Taeyong to answer him honestly. Taeyong had a history of making sure everyone was always happy, so Mark had to make sure he wasn’t avoiding the truth just to please the boy.
“I’m positive, okay?” Taeyong nodded. He wasn’t, but it would put Mark at ease, but he was positive that even if Baekhyun had slipped up that he wouldn’t put them into even more danger by adding to the situation. EXO was known for being level-headed and under the radar, so he didn’t fear that you’d be exposed, not even a little bit. He thought a moment, blinking at Mark. Taeyong was going to make his statement. Maybe he wasn’t right in how he felt, but it felt like he was. “I don’t care, I think the two of you are good together and you make each other happy, so you shouldn’t care either!” Taeyong sighed softly. “Have you two talked?”
“Not yet, I’m, um, supposed to call later. I was supposed to call days ago, but I-I don’t know if I can.” He’d texted you, but he’d avoided calling you for days and you tried to be fine with him not talking to you even when he seemed like he had so much to say and clearly the conversation was important but the time never felt right and Mark was obviously avoiding the problem.
“Please talk, you guys have something special okay, I know it.” Taeyong offered a smile, trying to make sure Mark didn’t regret his decision just because of one small hiccup. Mark sighed again, his face in his hands. “You should be upfront and figure the whole thing out.”
“Okay, I’ll call, fine.” Mark grumbled, pressing his thumb and forefinger to his temples. “I seriously don’t know what to do, man.” He scoffed. Taeyong sighed softly, nodding his head.
“I mean, stand in that position, what if you decided not to talk at all just because you found out about the three of them were fans? I can’t exactly blame them in this situation. I can understand why they hid it from you, you probably would’ve backed away before it even started.” Taeyong tried his best to comfort Mark, but he could tell he was failing. He was disappointed in himself for failing to talk to Mark before Baekhyun got to him in the first place, he blamed himself more than anyone. It was a tough situation to be in in general, he understood both perspectives and just wanted everyone to be happy. Taeyong didn’t know what to do.
“But you could’ve warned me.”
“I don’t know that it would’ve helped..” Taeyong was probably more nervous than you, settling back down with biting his nails and he wasn’t even sure who he could talk to about his own nerves, not wanting to hurt Mark any further until you two settled what was going on. He hoped everything would be okay, Taeyong liked you. He thought you were wonderful, and he was so happy to meet you and see how radiant and excited Mark had been since becoming a trainee, he just hoped it would all be fine. He wanted Mark to be happy, he wanted you to be happy. He liked the friendship he’d made with you and checking to see how you were doing, always followed with happy text messages and even he wanted to message you before it blew up, but it didn’t feel right.
Taeyong wanted it to all be okay.
-
“Hey.” The voice on the other end of the speaker was almost terrifying. You had gasped when Mark finally called. It had been a while since you talked. Mark had done a good job ignoring you for way too long and you felt like you could pass out.
Your heart was pounding painfully in your chest. It was nearing 4pm your time because he’d clearly let it go on to the next day even after he and Taeyong’s conversation, but he had finally decided to call when he woke up, thoughts rushing around both your heads, but the biggest fear was whether or not Mark was alright. You had been so worried about you and where you stood with him, but once you heard his voice that was long forgotten, you just wanted him to be alright. That’s what mattered more than anything.
“Mark?” You questioned, voice coming out much shakier than you wanted it to.
“Hey,” He sighed through the speaker. You didn’t know if you were ready for the conversation even if you had so much time to prepare for what you’d hear, but you knew it was necessary to keep whatever was happening between the two of you at a decent standing. “I’ve got, um, a question.” He sounded confused and choked up.
“Okay, yeah, you can ask me anything.” You assured him, hoping to put him at ease. “Is this about what you texted me about?”
“Yeah,” Mark cleared his throat. “It is, um. So, like. Be real with me.” He sighed again. “Were you a fan of us before all this? Be honest with me, please. I-I-I asked the other day and you didn’t answer.”
You had half a mind to deflect again even after some serious thought, but you weren’t sure it was the right answer. “I-“ You sighed. “I knew about you.”
“That didn’t um, exactly answer my question.” His laugh sounded condescending and you felt like you could vomit. “How much did you know?” You sighed again.
“A good amount, I guess..” You trailed off, voice quieter.
The speaker was silent for a moment. “Please don’t lie to me, I really don’t like being lied to.” He was making it more and more obvious that you had really messed up, which was your biggest fear. You had messed up and there was going to be no way to avoid the conversation and go back to normal because you neglected to tell him in the first place. You avoided it on purpose and kept making excuses, but you were screwed. You messed up. It wasn’t someone projecting on him, he had been told the truth and you didn’t know how, but it didn’t matter. He knew and all you could do was confirm and come clean.
“Mark,” You sighed again, knowing it was finally time to fess up. You weren’t sure how to word it, but you finally had to tell him the truth even though it was too late. You had a feeling. “I was actually in the city for the SuperM concert with my friends and-“ You paused to calm yourself down. “I’ve been a fan of you for a while, yeah.”
“Me?” His voice was softer, obviously trying to get you to continue.
“Well-Like, all of you? I guess.” You said briefly, biting your lip. “I’ve kind of.. been a fan for a while.”
“And you didn’t think this was that big of a deal?” He asked with a scoff.
You paused for a moment, silence breaking waves in your head. You should have told him, and you had been purposefully avoiding it. You feared telling him and it felt like good reasoning until that moment. “I was scared, Mark.”
“Scared of what?” He asked, tone much more aggressive than you were used to. You felt sick to your stomach, lying on your bed and trying to finish the conversation without freaking out fully.
“Scared of you not wanting me anymore, I guess. Scared that you might not give me a chance.” You hoped that was the right answer. It was the truth and hopefully he would understand. Maybe it would all blow over.
“I wish you would’ve just said something because now it absolutely, like, feels like you’ve been hiding shit from me.” Mark had never raised his voice, he still was level-headed, but you knew he was correct in his feelings and he had every right to react that way. “I seriously hate being lied to more than anything in the damn world and you’ve been doing it to me for months, I just like people to just be, like, upfront with me, dude!” It was weird to hear him speaking like that especially since it was all so new to begin with, wishing you had never put him in the position to be angry with you.
Internally, Mark knew that he more than likely wouldn’t have given you a chance, but he didn’t want to think about it. He wanted to pretend that he wouldn’t have done that, but it wasn’t the truth and he knew it. He was pulled from his thoughts again when you spoke.
“I-Mark, I-I’m really sorry, you’re right, I should’ve said something.”
“Yeah, you think?” He scoffed again. “This is like, exactly what happens to people in this industry.” His voice started to crack a bit and knowing you were the reason for his upset was more than heartbreaking. “We have such a hard time dating people because they get lied to, okay? I trusted you, I poured my heart out to you and every single time I thought you were just interested in me, it was all things you probably already knew, huh?” The bite in the last sentence was soul-crushing, your throat felt tight.
You didn’t know how to respond. You pulled yourself together, trying to ignore the blinding headache you were getting from having hurt him so badly. It was never your intention, but he was right. He was. “Yes.”
“You knew all that stuff. You knew our songs; you knew the members and here I was just thinking you had learned it all for me.” He spat, hurt in his tone. “I thought I was special, someone you wanted to get to know and it was stuff you already knew! You knew everything, didn’t you? Didn’t you?” He repeated more aggressively, but you didn’t want him to think you wouldn’t have done those things in the first place. If you had been in the position to get to know him from scratch, you would have learned those things about him, but knowing him was the reason you had connected and invited him to the party in the first place. He was special, but it wasn’t an authentic relationship and it killed you that you’d done something so stupid.
“You.. Are special, Mark.” You sighed, trying to ignore the tears begging to fall because he was right. “You didn’t deserve to be lied to, but Mark, I really like you. Not even just because you’re famous or my idol or anything, I really, really like you okay? I’m interested in continuing to get to know you and every moment I spent with you is a miracle and I just hope you feel the same way.” You were both quiet for a moment.
“I mean,” He huffed into the phone. You didn’t expect him to go off. “I thought I did, but how can I trust you? I had to find out from Baekhyun that you’d been lying to me! Not only me, but to Lucas, Taemin, everyone!” The words stung. “We let you in the chats, let you into our personal lives, and then we find out we probably fucked up big time? That’s low, it’s really fucked up looking at it. It puts us in danger, okay?” You gulped. He was right. He had every right to be mad because it was almost like you were invading his personal life by hiding part of yours. “I’m supposed to make the decision on if I want to take it anywhere with someone knowing who I am. I’m supposed to be the one to decide, not you!” It felt wrong. You felt wrong. You shared so much with Mark and he shared enough with you to get him into huge trouble, but you had ignored it for your own selfishness and continued to drag it on. “Do you see where I’m coming from?”
“Mark, I swear I’d never put you in danger.” And you wouldn’t. You’d never do anything to hurt him or anyone else but that didn’t matter in the conversation. You had avoided dating for the same reason, people searching for your money or to get what they wanted when you first got your name up, but you never expected to be in the opposite position. You didn’t need Mark for the money, but the validation of having someone more famous than you was probably an internal validation that you seeked. Maybe it was why you’d done it in the first place; having someone you looked up to interested in you felt good and it made you selfish.
The mention of Baekhyun didn’t raise any flags in your head at the time, it didn’t even cross your mind that it was why he’d been so dodgy with you and weird in the first place. You’d only met him twice in comparison to the others and both times he was sweet but guarded. The lines didn’t connect at the mention.
“So, you haven’t talked about this to anyone? Not on the internet or anything?” He scoffed, finding it hard to believe if your answer was no. You hadn’t told anyone and the people you did tell had met with them and weren’t in any position to speak out about it. Seulgi didn’t care and Yeri was talking to Lucas, so they weren’t a threat because they’d end up exposed too. However, Yeri was an open book and you were positive Lucas knew about her liking him anyway.
“No, I swear. I’ve only talked to the friends you met and they’re not stupid either, we’d never do that to you.” You answered honestly. “I haven’t told anyone, at all. Not even my assistant! They only know I’m talking to someone, what’s between us is private.” Mark knew who Irene was to you and the fact that you hadn’t told her didn’t seem close to believable in his state of mind.
“I just don’t know if I can trust that.” He had every right to feel that way, but you wanted to let him know that you cared, and you would never cross that line. You had to remind yourself that you’d never get Mark in trouble and that seemed to be what he was most worried about.
“I-“ You swallowed, sighing and trying to let him calm down. “Mark, I promise I’d never do that. I wouldn’t tell anybody because I know what would happen if the word got out, I-” he cut you off.
“I just-I don’t know what to do now.” If you were in fact being honest, Mark had to consider how he was feeling now that he knew the truth. It was all up to him to figure out what to further do.
“I-I know.” You did know, you did know the danger he could be in, but again, you’d never hurt him. You hadn’t said anything. You’d been truthful and didn’t even know how you wound up in that position, but you were definitely not going to ask. You weren’t lying about anything you’d confessed to at all, you only wanted the best for Mark, but you being with him was just too exciting to give up and you knew from the early in the beginning that you didn’t care who he was, you liked him for who he showed himself to be, you liked his authentic self. Maybe you should reiterate your feelings and the silence was killing you. “Mark, I promise I could care less about how famous or anything you are. I like you. I like you more than anyone I’ve ever dated or talked to, and yeah it’s exciting that you’re someone I used to idolize, but it’s all changed now. I know you deeper than that. You’re amazing and I love that you gave me a chance and I hope you can give me the opportunity to make it up to you and everyone else.” The line was quiet again for longer than you expected. You wish you knew if he was smiling, if he was feeling better, if all you were saying meant anything. “Mark?”
“I’m processing, okay?” He huffed over the phone again. “I just don’t know how I feel, okay?”
“I understand.” You did, you knew the tight spot you’d put him into, but you were going to own up to it.
“I’ll talk to you later.” You could hear the irritation in his voice. “Let me think.”
“I-“ You swallowed, wondering if you should even say it, but you wanted to remind him how you felt. “I love you.”
“Yeah.” The line went blank, he’d hung up. You hadn’t experienced a heartbreak like that; it was unsettling and crushing. You felt tears well up in your eyes and wondered how you went from being so wonderful to being such an issue in his life. That was the last thing you wanted, but deep down you knew that time would come. You just hoped you got lucky enough for him to be blind to it, but not everyone else was. The subject of Baekhyun finding out was starting to stand out in your head finally, furrowing your brows and you knew you should leave Mark alone, but you wanted to know exactly what he meant. You didn’t want to further bother him at all, but after a few minutes, it was eating you up and you knew you had to ask. You thought up a text to Mark, but quickly erased it. You decided to text Taeyong.
Yong?
You didn’t get an answer quickly, so you’d send another.
can i ask you something?
You got to thinking about everything Mark said and suddenly Baekhyun seemed to be an important part in the whole thing. Maybe that was why Baekhyun was so distant. Maybe he knew the whole time. The possibility was driving you crazy, but you had to remain calm and work it out the right way. It was your only hope of redemption and Taeyong was the most calm and friendly person you’d spoken to from the experience. You two had become decently close. Taemin and Ten didn’t seem comfortable enough with you yet and Lucas was unfortunately hopeless when it came to any issue at all, he was the biggest avoider in conflict and Mark had mentioned that he was timid when a situation arose, you noted, so you would definitely not bother him. You’d just have to wait it out for now.
No response from Taeyong. Maybe you’d messed that up too.
Days upon days had passed and you still hadn’t gotten a response or any kind of message from anybody. The weeks had passed and you tried your hardest to busy yourself with floor plans for weeks and working with contractors to get your other places set up, but even when busying yourself, your world was falling down. It was disheartening, but you couldn’t help but rethinking about the danger and terrible position you’d put them all in, so you were best to leave it alone until anyone felt ready to talk. You were constantly reminded online that 127 were off to Spain soon, then New York, so you knew everyone was more than busy, but you hoped that maybe you’d get a response before then.
You spent days in your head and after a long-going meeting about final calls, it was getting late, so you decided to head to the main restaurant location and hopefully get your mind off things. It wasn’t the most helpful, but you could only dream, assisting with food prep and listening carefully, catching up with the workers you hadn’t seen in a few days because you were so preoccupied with your own personal issues. You felt like you were letting them all down, but they assured you about how fine it all was. You’d done your job and adequately prepared them all for the journey, so you felt almost useless in the time being. For once you finally had everyone ready to deal without you being on location. It felt wrong. You still had a few store openings to work on, but your mind couldn’t focus in on that at the moment. You had been working at the cutting board for hours thinking, but were pulled from your thoughts in the mindless work.
“Everything okay? I got a call saying someone was here with their head in the cutting board again being awfully quiet.” You heard a familiar voice behind you, one that always made you feel a bit better. You turned around to see Irene with a bright smile, hands placed on her hips. You sighed of relief, smiling at her and dropping your knife on the table to walk over and hug her after tugging your gloves off to hug her. “What’s wrong sweet pea?” She offered, gently patting your back. “You’ve been out of it since your trip.” She was giggling and you felt yourself let go, tears rolling down your face as you tucked your head into her shoulder. She had been annoyed with you before, but she didn’t seem to be upset at all.
“It’s been a hard few weeks, ‘Rene.”
“I could tell, I could.” She consoled you, trying to bring you back down to earth before diving deeper into the real problem. “Just talk to me if you want to, okay? But I know when you willingly cut vegetables in here at night that you’ve got something going on.” You nodded, drying your face on her shirt. You stayed in her embrace for a while before pulling away.
“Your shoulder’s a little wet.” You laughed, wiping your eyes again with your sleeves.
“I’ve been used to that for years.” Irene teased, leaning against the counter and her voice was sincere. She cared about you more than you thought someone should. “Now tell me what’s actually going on.” And that’s when the dam broke.
-
“So that’s what you’ve been up to?” Irene was looking at the table in the empty restaurant and trying to process all the information she just got, eyes somewhere between disbelief and concern. You’d gone off on a tangent and confessed everything to her right there. In your heart you know you shouldn’t bring yet another person into the equation, but you had to go somewhere to get a decent opinion and Irene was the most level-headed person you knew. She was technically responsible for you after all, that’s what you paid her for, and she absolutely deserved a raise at that point. You’d make a mental note of that.
“Yeah.” You nodded, carding your fingers through your hair. “It’s pretty fucked up, isn’t it?” You scoffed, in disbelief that you’d gotten yourself into the situation at hand. You hated that you did that to anyone including yourself.
“I don’t think so.” Irene shook her head, sighing. “I understand why you did it, I really do, but I also see it from his perspective, maybe he just needs some space, you know?” Irene was always right, stirring her coffee and taking a sip. “Who knows, maybe it could all blow over if you really like each other, yeah?” She offered a sweet smile, hoping to get your hopes back up. You nodded in response. “If they’re coming here soon, why not go ahead and try to talk to him? You’ve got a conference in Jersey in a few weeks I could probably move up, and they’re pretty close, so maybe you could get a little leverage?” She shrugged, leaning back in the booth seat.
“Oh my god, shit. I completely forgot about that conference.” You sighed, groaning softly. “You think that’s a good idea? Just show up?”
“It’s the Macy’s Day Parade, it’s not like it’s some private event.” Irene snorted, shrugging. “Let me talk to the investors, I can try to see if they’ll move up to that weekend. I mean, come on, I can go with you.”
“You’d go with me?”
“You’re literally paying me to take care of you.” She snorted again, reminding you yet again that she was the greatest investment you’d made thus far. “Of course, I’ll go with you. Everyone here is fully capable of taking care of the place. You’re not stupid, you did a good job at hiring.” You rolled your eyes, smiling at her aggressive complimenting. “You’ve done your job which is why you find it hard to find something to do when you just show up here.” She snorted gain. “Which is also why your busy work consists of cutting vegetables when you’re upset.”
“I guess I should be less competent then, yeah?” You joked, seeing Irene roll her eyes playfully.
“That’s the opposite of what I’m saying, you workaholic.” She tapped the top of your hand playfully mimicking a smack. “Sometimes it’s good to let other people work for you, so you can go ahead and easily fuck around with people like Mark Lee.” She raised a brow, shaking her head. It was the first time she’d understood the depth of why you weren’t talking to her about what was happening. “Trust me, it’ll all be fine, promise.”
You were finally laughing; glad you had some outlet to let go of what you’ve been holding onto. You felt like you should have gone to her in the first place. Irene was honestly a lifesaver and you thanked her day in and day out for that amongst everything else she’s done for you. “So, I guess you’re going to see them with me?” You smiled awkwardly, knowing partially that it was a bad idea, but making a work trip wasn’t entirely a horrible excuse. Irene couldn’t care less about seeing the boys, she was in it for you to begin with and you were sure that’s how it would remain.
“I’m going for you and the Macy’s Day Parade, don’t get it twisted.” She teased, grinning wide. “I’m an emotional support assistant, not your love life therapist.”
“That’s fair.”
“At least you have a love life now, I’ve been waiting on you to get distracted since the first store opened. You deserved a little break and I don’t want one little hiccup to ruin that for you.” She was right and you knew it. “Now let’s go home and get some rest, alright?”
“But the vegetables!” You sighed, remembering that you’d started a job you wanted to finish. Irene groaned.
“Okay, fine. Let’s go finish the vegetables and you’re going home and drinking a glass of wine and going to sleep right after, okay?”
“Yes, mom.” You snorted, standing up and wiping the table clean before returning to the back, Irene gladly following to assist and make sure you weren’t there until ungodly hours of the night. It was already late, and she knew how you were, so she’d keep an eye on you to make sure you were in good standing and you appreciated it more than you could express. Everyone else had gone home after closing and you only had yourself to worry about.
“So, I got your conference moved up.” Irene offered after a few moments of silence. You hadn’t even seen her send an email. “You can thank me later.” She shrugged. “We’re flying out in two days, so be prepared.” You shook your head, smiling. You’d been prepared for the meeting for months now, filling every hole with explanation and you were more than ready to present, but seeing Mark again made it even more worthwhile.
“God, I love you.” You reminded Irene once again.
“Hm, I know.” She was confident, as she should be.
You got home and did exactly what she told you to do, got a glass of wine, showered, and got into your comfortable clothes to get a decent night’s rest. You were due at the restaurant in the morning to go over some new procedures, so your rest was important and thankfully, you slept like a baby.
You woke up to a missed call and a few texts, groaning at the full notification screen but decided to ignore it until you were coherent enough and had some water and coffee in your system for the day; it could wait. You forgot you had even been waiting on responses from anyone, you weren’t awake enough for that and you had work to tend to.
When you were finally at work, waiting for everyone to show up, you quickly read through your phone and glanced at the messages, one from Mark.
I’m ready to talk, call me when you can.
You also had a missed call and a text from Taeyong. It had been what? A few weeks or so since you texted him? You forgot you had even texted him, getting back into the swing of work had really distracted you from the passing days and you almost forgot what you sent him but were quickly reminded with a heavy beating heart and a deep breath as you looked the messages over.
Hey, I’m so sorry I’ve been so busy, is everything okay? I should have responded by now but I just got so distracted and didn’t know what to say 🥺 I know things went down with you and Mark and I hope you’re okay, I’m here if you need me, I promise. We just got finished up in Spain and we’re about to fly out so if I don’t answer then just hold on!!
Taeyong was always so sweet, making your heart pound heavily and hoping he wasn’t too stressed about the situation, he was always on edge with stress and from what you gathered he had the most overlapping schedules and you hated to add more to it. Taeyong didn’t want to go behind Mark’s back and talk to you about the situation until he had the time to say anything himself, so he went with his gut feeling for not responding immediately but when he was going through his messages after the awards show, he was hit with guilt for not talking back to you and he was sure you were freaking out across the world. He hoped his message would find you well.
You quickly typed up a text to Taeyong
Hey!! Don’t worry about it, I felt bad for dragging you into it anyway. Mark wants to talk to me, and I was just nervous, I didn’t know if you were near him or knew what was going on, but thank you for caring so much, I appreciate it and I hope your flight goes well!💛
Then it was time to text Mark back. It took a minute to draft up the perfect message, but you just said what felt right in the moment.
Hey, I’m really busy with work today, but you can call me when you’re ready and I’ll answer, okay? Take care of yourself and work, that’s what’s important
You thought your message was the right amount of distance, taking a deep breath after responding. You didn’t want to seem to eager and you definitely didn’t want to mention that you were going to see them, it could mess things up, but you also hadn’t factored in him wanting to talk as soon as he was heading back to the states.
Mark didn’t call you back. Taeyong didn’t text. You knew they still had to be on the plane and talking was rare when it came to flights, so you’d focus in on continued prepping for your meeting and getting everyone in the restaurant in check, including your newest manager. It pained you to think about what your job had gone through and your neglect had caused problems, so you were still nervous to take the trip, but you had to believe Irene when she told you that it was going to be fine.
You finished up your meeting and busied yourself with casual preparation as the day went on, getting nagged by Irene on the fact that you didn’t have to do this or that for every little task you put yourself on and you had perfectly capable workers to do it, but you honestly liked helping out and everyone there seemed to enjoy having you around. You loved creating a fun work environment and you kind of missed being a part of the kitchen staff. You sighed after a long day, sitting in your office to relax for a bit. Irene sauntered into the office after finishing up her own paperwork to smile at you.
“So,” She giggled, sitting on your desk. “You ready to go talk to your guy?” She teased.
“Maybe, yeah.” You nodded, grinning. You sighed again, shrugging. You hadn’t heard from anyone yet, but you were being patient.
“Does he know you’re coming yet?”
“Nope, I guess I’ll tell him when we’re there.”
Irene snorted. “Of course, I figured you were going to say that.” And as soon as she spoke, you saw your phone vibrating on the desk. You gasped, looking over at Irene, who sent you a knowing look.
“Is that your guy?”
You swallowed, nodding. “Yeah, it is. Um, I-I’m nervous.” You sighed, picking it up and hesitating to answer. Irene quickly reached over to press the green button and grinned widely at you before mouthing a ‘good luck’ at you and then slipping out of the room, back behind her own office door.
You gulped. “H-hello?”
You heard a soft sigh on the phone, accompanied by some scattered voices in the background. “Hey!” Mark exclaimed. “We-we um, just touched down, we’re going through customs now.” He explained, his voice seemed a bit paced over the speaker, you hoped he was okay.
“How was the flight?” You asked quickly, trying to shift the subject to his importance. You hadn’t heard his voice since the big talk, but you’d try not to focus on how nice it was to hear him again.
“It was fine, yeah.” He spoke softer, voice calming down. “How are you?” He asked.
“I’m-I’m okay.” You answered honestly, but you couldn’t help the blush on your face or the heavy beating of your heart. “It’s been a long-ish day.”
“Yeah, same here.” He cleared his throat. He was quiet for a moment, so you assumed he was thinking on what to say. “So, um, I just wanted to apologize.” You were silent, shocked that he was the one apologizing. “I didn’t mean to get so angry with you.” He was speaking quieter, continuing to ramble on because you couldn’t quite find the words to say back. “I was just upset and didn’t know what to do.” You had to admit that you hated doing that kind of thing over the phone, texting was easier and in person was more personal, but if it was the way Mark wanted to have the conversation, you were fine with it.
“No, no trust me, you had every right to feel that way, I know how you-“ He cut you off.
“But listen, that’s not why I called.” Mark sighed again. “I wanted to see if you, um, had the possible time to meet up maybe, so I could get some clarity on how I feel or something. I’ve just been really stressed and, yeah.” He was quieter and you couldn’t stop the smile that spread along your face. “Sorry I haven’t messaged you..”
The last part didn’t really flow through your mind. You almost stopped listening after he said he wanted to meet with you. “Like, in New York?”
“Yeah, yeah, um, I know it’s last minute, but maybe we can meet somewhere before I fly out again, you know?” You sighed again, remembering that he still had other responsibilities, but he was still wanting to meet up. “I just think it could help, you know, whatever this is.” He sounded nervous, but confident in what he needed at the same time. It was a tone you weren’t used to. He knew exactly what he wanted for the first time since you met and that felt good. At least he was sure about it. You understood you hadn’t been together long, but you still cared about him and how he felt about it all, you just wanted him to be happy.
“We may be able to arrange something.” You hinted, smiling. “You’re there for two days?”
“Well, yeah. We sleep tonight and we’re here the next two nights, so I’ll be here.”
It was fortunate that you could easily get tickets had you not bought them beforehand. Maybe the relationship would be able to work out if the two of you stayed looping each other in, it wouldn’t be so hard.
“I’ll let you know, okay?” You sighed happily into the phone.
“Okay, cool, cool.” He laughed softly over the speaker. “I’ll, um, hopefully see you, just let me know.”
“I will, promise.” It was the most basic conversation the two of you had, as if it didn’t involve you flying across the country to see him yet again. You were shocked at how calm he seemed, hopefully he was feeling better about the situation. You sighed of relief.
“Cool, yeah.” Mark cleared his throat again. “I-um, I’ll talk to you later.”
“Okay.” You nodded, sighing and not yet wanting to hang up. It was nice to hear his voice again. You were whipped and you knew it. “Well, um,” You grinned. “Bye, bye.” His giggle over the phone was cute.
“Bye.”
It wasn’t long before you got a text from Taeyong.
It sounds like you guys are going to work it out? 😃
You grinned at the message.
Yeah, I think so 🤞
-
“So, ready to go?” You heard a voice through your apartment, gasping loudly and not at all awake enough to function and hear someone in your house. It was late in the night and you had just woken up from a nap, you booked a 2am flight so you could easily make it for the morning, but you had a feeling you wouldn’t sleep at all on the plane because it was nearly midnight and you had taken a really good nap.
“Jesus, I really should take your house key away.” You groaned from your bedroom, popping your head out to see Irene at the front door, fully dressed and ready to go.
“And stop me from scaring you? I haven’t hardly seen you in weeks, so you have to deal with me for the next few days.” She laughed, walking into your kitchen to grab a glass of water. “God, your house is so clean, who are you?” She laughed, knowing that you’d definitely been keeping it straight for Mark and to busy your head. She knew you all too well.
“Okay, I didn’t sign up to be roasted, let me live.” You snorted, zipping up your suitcase and turning it to the wheels to get ready to leave. You pulled on your oversized coat and stepped into your boots, trying to prepare for the cold weather as you walked your bags down the stairs.
“Oh, okay someone’s looking nice.” She teased further, taking a sip from the glass. “It’s good to see you pulling yourself together, I ought to thank Mark myself.” You rolled your eyes at her, putting your bags at the door before putting your sunglasses on top of your head. “Ready?” You might’ve been dressed up to easily be ready for tomorrow and early check in at the hotel, so you didn’t have to worry about what you’d see Mark in. You needed to be dressed your very best for the situation.
“Ready!” You nodded, smiling at your friend.
You hadn’t talked to Mark much because he was clearly avoiding the full conversation you needed to settle and while you were anxious about it, you didn’t mind avoiding the conflict. You’d talked more to Taeyong, mostly about scheduling and he seemed rather excited to see you, much to your own surprise.. You definitely avoided the groupchats. You were trying your best to distance yourself, give Mark some space to decide what was going to happen between you two. You were an adult; you could handle that.
The flight was shorter than you thought it would be, spending most of your time emailing and scripting for the conference while Irene slept. She had taken an Ambien and absolutely hated plane rides, which shocked you because she was more often than not willing to go somewhere with you. When you finally landed, your adrenaline was high, and you were more than excited to walk around the city and explore. You’d never really spent much time in New York before and Jersey was only a short ride for the conference on Saturday. You were more excited to visit there than you thought you would be, and you hadn’t exactly told Mark you were officially coming yet, you’d leave the surprise up to him. You were there for business with the hope of excitement, so you were sure you couldn’t be too let down.
Thursday night was the official performance and thankfully you landed early enough to make it for the parade, excitedly checking Twitter eagerly to find out what parade float 127 was on. Thankfully your hotel was near the parade route, so you quickly headed out to see where everyone had been lining up. You easily found a good spot near the end of the parade, excitedly waiting to see the boys you’d been waiting to see. You still hadn’t met anyone in the 127 groupchat aside from Taeyong and Mark, so it was even more exciting to meet the other people you’d talked to in person.
You excitedly watched the parade because weirdly enough, you had always wanted to see it. You sighed happily, grinning wide with Irene at your side. She watched intently, noticing how excited you were, and even though you could tell she didn’t understand the hype, her being there with you meant the world. The whole parade was amazing, bright exciting colors all around and you felt like you were in heaven, bright skies felt like the whole world had meaning again and maybe it was just because you were tired, but things felt right. You sighed happily, glancing around the corner to finally see the gigantic Lego float and you gasped loudly.
“Irene! It’s them!” She whipped her head around, enjoying seeing you so happy so she was going to give into your excitements.
“And which one is Mark?” She snorted, grinning when you started jumping around excitedly, screams filling the people around you.
“The little one with the black hair!” You beamed, waving and hoping they saw you. You giggled excitedly, whipping out your phone to snap a picture of them to send to the 127 chat.
You guys look amazing!! congrats! I got a good view of the float and you all look so happy 🥰
You sent the message quickly, stuffing your phone back into your pocket before Irene spoke to you, checking out the float herself in the time being. You didn’t expect the next words to fall out of her mouth. “The tall one with the black hair is actually kind of hot.” She snorted, nodding with pursed lips. “Not bad.” Your eyes widened with slight shock, but you couldn’t exactly blame her for the comment.
“Yeah, that’s Johnny!” You giggled again, waving excitedly. Unfortunately, none of them looked in your direction, but you didn’t mind. You didn’t warn them beforehand so that they could look for you and you hoped you’d meet up with Mark and maybe the others later. Just seeing them made you feel better and the butterflies returned to your stomach at the thought that you were so close to the members you hadn’t seen before. You shook the thoughts away and tried to remember that some of them were your friends. You leaned into Irene’s ear to explain quickly to her. “Okay so Yuta is the one with long dark hair, Taeyong is the grey hair, Jaehyun is the-“
“I’m literally getting none of this.” Irene giggled, patting your back. You laughed in response, shaking your head and realized the explanation was hopeless. “Maybe we’ll meet with them later and it’ll all come to me.” She teased you further, shrugging and a buzz of excitement ran through you. Maybe you’d actually get to meet and see them all, your boyfriend’s friends and long-time idols, you could only hope. You wished more than anything you weren’t so excited to see them all in front of you because of who they were and that’s what got you into the mess with Mark, but you had to remind yourself that they were people and you didn’t know what of the situation they knew. Maybe it was best that they weren’t in the equation.
“Yeah, yeah I hope so.” You nodded, sighing happily as the float went further away from you.
You walked around after the parade ended, excited to see all the other sights and floats. It was a beautiful parade you had to admit, unable to stop the grin on your face. You loved the sight of New York, happy to possibly have a restaurant open near there that you could visit often. Even on your off moments, you liked thinking about new work opportunities because it would better help you plan your future. It felt like things were finally falling into place and you were excited about that. You hadn’t checked your phone in a while, so you pulled it out and gasped at the excited responses in the groupchat.
You’re here!! I didn’t think you’d come!! We should all go to dinner or something! Mark’s paying
Nevermind every man for himself Mark punched me
From Johnny. He always managed to make you laugh.
Oh gosh are we finally going to get to meet you?!
From Jaehyun
Glad you could make it ☺️
From Taeyong, who knew better than anybody that you’d probably show up. Taeyong could tell your potential and whimsical decision making from the second you became friends. Maybe it was for the better that you two were getting close.
And finally, from Yuta, a self-proclaimed self-enthusiast.
wow I really was living my best life huh? Look at my face😂😂 Hope you enjoyed the parade!
You definitely did enjoy the parade and were more than happy to see them as excited as you were. The boys seemed like children who were in a candy store on the float, so you knew they were having the times of their lives and loved being there. You hadn’t seen them so happy in a while and they all definitely didn’t look that excited in Spain except for when they were with Lizzo, so it was a good time for everyone. You loved seeing them so happy. You hadn’t received a text from Mark in the groupchat, but you missed a text in your personal ones, heart racing when you saw his name.
You came? Why didn’t you tell me! Did you want to meet up tonight?
You gulped, biting your lip and showing the text to Irene. “I want nothing to do with your love life.” She snorted, shaking her head and turning her attention to the street food she’d just gotten. It was a mess on a plate, but she seemed to thoroughly be enjoying it. “But go ahead, you’ve still got a whole day to screw around before we go to Jersey, nothing’s off limits.” She shrugged. “But I will be in the hotel sleeping in a few hours after the performance because I’m exhausted, so don’t get killed.” She teased further, smiling over at you with a mouth full of food.
“You think I should meet up with him?” You asked nervously, biting your lip and wondering how to respond to his text. He still had the performance that night, so you knew it would be late when you’d meet with him.
“I don’t see why not.” She shrugged, offering you a bite which you politely declined. You quickly typed up a text.
Well I actually ended up getting an investment meeting and I didn’t want to jinx anything, so yeah, I’m here if you wanna go for coffee tonight or something?
You didn’t want to seem too excited, but your brain was buzzing, too hopeful for meeting with the boy who had your heart wrapped around his finger. Mark quickly responded.
I’d like that, yeah!
We have the performance later and we’re about to start getting ready for it, so I’ll text you when I’m free?💚
You sighed happily, things were looking up. He seemed just as excited to meet up with you as well. It was a few weeks since you got into your argument and not long before that was the last time you’d seen him, so you feared slightly that things would still be awkward or messy, but you didn’t want to focus on that and thought that things might actually be okay. The fear still sat in the back of your mind, but you’d try your hardest to ignore it. Thankfully you were able to go drop by the hotel after walking around for a bit, maybe you did need just a little bit of a rest before the performance.
You got to the hotel and got settled in, changing your clothes to be a little warmer and layered and of course not at all to look nice for Mark. You checked yourself out in the mirror, grinning at the outfit you decided on. “How do I look?” You asked Irene, who was already chugging down a glass of wine from the minibar at the hotel.
“Looking good, yeah. Someone to impress?” She was teasing yet again, giggling and pouring herself another glass of wine.
“Shut up.” You laughed, grinning and pulling your coat on. “Are you coming to the performance with me?” you asked with a giggle.
“I’m pregaming for a reason aren’t I?” She cocked a brow, shrugging. You rolled your eyes. Irene didn’t drink much, but she had made sacrifices for you so you didn’t mind her drinking on the job.
“You’re always pregaming.” You snorted, slipping your feet into a nice pair of shoes. “Are you warm enough?”
“After this wine hits, I will be.” Irene grinned, walking over to grab her coat. She looked flawless as always and it made you sick, wearing a black turtleneck and khaki pants. She fixed her lipstick quickly in the mirror and pulled her coat on to easily go out. “Now let’s go get your boy back.” You groaned, cheeks heating up and grabbing your phone to make your way out of the door.
The concert stage was packed, as you expected, but shockingly to your surprise, when you got there, security walked the two of you to the front, not asking any further questions. It left you to assume that one of the boys had hooked the two of you up. You’d shown Irene to Mark and the others through various selfies, so you weren’t going to bite the hand that fed you just to get a better look at the boys on stage.
The performance went perfectly, grinning and watching them put on their best performance. You sighed happily, loving the feel in the air. The wind was chilly, but you were fully willing to endure it just for them. You caught all the boys from the 127 chat you were in glancing at you at least once and it made your heart race, but you were in perfect view and you were sure they were looking for you in the first place. That was even more exciting. The crowd dissipated after the small performance, leaving you and Irene to walk around aimlessly while you waited on Mark. Irene was getting a little grumpy, assuming the wine drunkeness had worn off and factoring in that you had flown through the night. “I’m ready to sleep my ass off.” She warned, groaning at the cold.
“You can go ahead to the hotel if you want.” You warned her, making sure she knew you could fend for yourself.
“And leave you here in the middle of New York?” Irene snorted. “You sign my paychecks so I’m definitely going to make sure you’re safe so that I get paid.” She was further teasing. She had a funny way of letting you know she cared about you. You walked around for about an hour and Irene happened upon a spiked hot chocolate from a street cart before you got a text from Mark
Where did you want to meet up? There’s a little coffee shop a couple blocks from our hotel that’s open late if you wanna go there?
the streets should be pretty clear by then because it’s dead cold out ya know🥴
You grinned ridiculously wide, quickly telling Irene what you’d been sent. “We’re gonna go meet at a coffee shop, you wanna walk me there?”
“Absolutely not, but I definitely will.” Irene laughed, tucking her phone and keys into her pocket along with her hands. “Let’s go.” You got the location from Mark, beginning to make your way there because you weren’t too far from it. You both ended up getting a taxi after two blocks at your expense to make up for Irene being in the cold for so long. You didn’t want to make her walk, but the ride wasn’t far, and you happily did it for her comfort after hearing her shiver and complain. You got to the location and you were surprised to see how empty it was, the two of you getting out and standing at the corner. You quickly pulled out a cigarette from your pocket and lit it up, earning a groan from Irene. She hated it, but she knew that wasn’t going to stop you.
You were shaking from nerves, but you were excited to see where the interaction was going to lead you. You and Irene were talking about some work developments when you heard a loud “Hellooooo” from behind you. You turned around, gasping when you saw Mark and Johnny both in masks and hats. You quickly took a drag of your half smoked cigarette and tossed it on the ground when you saw Mark eye it.
You had to admit you were a bit starstruck to see Johnny. He was huge, massive even and you glanced at Irene to see a cocked eyebrow on her face, clearly checking out the tall boy. You pulled yourself from your distraction, grinning at Mark who had his hands stuffed into his pockets.
“Hey.” Mark started, his eyes showing his smile above the mask. You got closer, the two of you embracing like your lives depended on it. You sighed softly, almost feeling tears well in your eyes as you held him tighter, never wanting to let go. His arms were around your waist, gently thumbing over your back through your coat. “it’s good to see you.” His voice was barely above a whisper, right by your ear. “You smell like cigarettes.” He giggled into your neck.
“Shut up, I’m sorry.” You laughed. “It’s good to see you too.” You spoke quietly, still in his embrace and you somehow pulled him tighter, eyes closing and it felt like an eternity. “Um, this is Irene.” You your head toward her and felt Mark lift his hand from your waist to give her a wave.
“You must be Mark.” She stated, shrugging her shoulders. “Heard a lot about you in the last two days.” Mark didn’t seem to mind or catch on that you’d told someone else about him, just thankful that you were with him.
“Um, so, I’m Johnny.” You heard loudly behind you, a laugh being pulled from both you and Mark as you let go of each other. Johnny was introducing himself to Irene, shaking her hand and the grin on her face looked unbelievably pleased. You shook your head, giggling at her before turning to Johnny yourself. He opened his arms wide to hug you, quickly running to his embrace. It was only a quick hug, him patting your back in a friendly manner before pulling away. “Nice to finally meet you!” He exclaimed; grin wide on his face under his mask as well. You turned back to Mark, who quickly grabbed your hand to tangle his fingers with yours.
“Johnny’s a hugger.” He warned with a small laugh. “He’s been practicing all day how to greet you.” Mark said with a hint of sarcasm and you saw Johnny’s face contort to glare at him.
“And Mark exaggerates everything.” Johnny came back confidently.
“So, we should go.” Irene shot her attention to Johnny, seeing him shrug with a nod at her statement before turning back to you. “Leave you two be, yeah?”
“I’m game.” Johnny agreed quickly with a shrug. You were a bit stunned to see Irene being so forward. “Did you need a ride to your hotel? I’ve got an Uber on the way and I’d hate for you to walk alone.” You were also stunned that Johnny was seeming to take to Irene that quickly from what you knew about him. You didn’t miss the flirtatious energy he had with the charm in his tone.
“We’ll see you two later.” Irene nodded, following behind Johnny. You had a weird feeling that the two of them would end up more than just going home even though Irene claimed to be so tired, but it wasn’t your business and they were adults, so you would leave it alone and let them do whatever they set out to do.
You heard Mark clear his throat. “So, uh.” You heard him laugh softly. “You wanna go inside or freeze to death?” He teased.
“I’d like to not freeze to death, please.” You both grinned, hand in hand as you both walked inside. You saw Mark look around, making sure that nobody in there was paying any attention to him. He had to make sure he was in extremely good standing when it came to being out in public in such a big city, especially this soon after a concert. He looked relieved, pulling you to a dimly lit corner of the shop. You both sat down with a sigh, seeing a much older waiter come to the table to greet the two of you. You both glanced over your menus and the silence was comforting. You both put in your orders before Mark slid his mask below his face after feeling comfortable enough. He looked so beautiful without makeup on like that, so relaxed, the soft shadow of his facial hair made your face warm.
“So, you finally got to meet Johnny.” He teased, seeing you roll your eyes and grinning wider at him. “How was that?”
“Yeah, it was great, we’re best friends now.” You joked, hearing Mark let out a hearty laugh. “I’ve heard ten words and he’s the greatest.” You both snorted.
“Good to know, good to know yeah.” He was giggling more, and you felt like your heart could burst. “So, um, how is everything?” he asked shyly, his hands placed gently in his lap.
“Well,” You shrugged. “Things are okay,” You cleared your throat again. “A lot is going on with work and I’m about to open a new store hopefully next year here if the meeting tomorrow goes well.”
“Ah, yeah, yeah, the meeting!” Mark nodded. “So, you came here for that?” He was asking with intent and it felt nice for him to be interested in you again like that again. It felt comfortable. “I was actually really shocked when you sent that picture, I couldn’t believe it and when I saw you in the audience I got really excited. I almost thought you were fucking with me and grabbed a picture off the internet or something.” He was blushing, a wide toothy grin on his face. “Johnny apparently told the security to let you and anyone you were with to the front, not my doing.” He snorted with a shrug.
“Ah, so Johnny is the master relationship specialist now isn’t he?” Mark couldn’t stifle his laugh when he took a sip of his coffee.
“Uh, yeah, I guess you could say that.” He snorted again, grinning. “He’s like the number one pusher when someone says they’re going to date so, it’s like, his thing.” He admitted with a shrug. “When I first told him about you his first reaction was like ‘An American? You have to do it, it’s the law if you’re my friend’ and got way too excited. He’s always trying to hook anyone up but never really finds someone for himself.” You thought back to him and Irene’s reaction to each other and stifled a snort.
“I mean, he’s taking my assistant home.”
“Yeah, I kinda caught that.” He was laughing again. It was nice to see him happy here, he always seemed excited when he was in the states anyway, so you were glad he enjoyed spending time with you too.
“Don’t worry, she’s the best.” You warned. “He’s in safe hands. She keeps me every day from making horrible life decisions.” Mark looked a bit confused at that but waived it off. “Some of them at least.”
“Well, that’s good yeah.” He cleared his throat, calling for the check. “So, you wanna get out of here?” His voice was slightly low, and you didn’t know what was up, but at that point you were willing to do anything for Mark. You’d only been there for a short time and only ordered coffee, so you were both fine with leaving so soon.
“Sure, let’s go.” You nodded, groaning a bit when Mark handed his credit card to the waiter to pay for the both of you. You learned quickly that it was just how he rolled, it didn’t matter if you could easily pay for yourself or not, he was definitely a sweetheart and liked treating you. The two of you strolled out back onto the sidewalk after he put his mask back on.
Mark was walking closely with you, not holding your hand or arm because he was still afraid of being caught in public and getting his reputation ruined. You’d both been so lucky to not get caught especially since the two of you were always in bigger cities where a disaster could easily strike. The small chatter of the light conversation had you feeling like things were definitely going to be okay and Mark seemed pleased, talking to you about the weather and how he thought he’d get sick soon if he kept having to change climates. You wished him the best and recommended vitamins that he just brushed off with a laugh. “Yeah, I’m hearing you I just know I’m not going to do it.” You both were giggling at that point and you both didn’t even know where you were going, just aimlessly walking along the street, coming on a dimly lit part of town. You both sighed, glancing at each other with soft grins. Nobody was in sight and he just looked so perfect. You stopped in your tracks which caused him to pause in place. “What’s up?” He asked, eyes full of wonder.
“Nothing.” You shrugged, sighing. You scooted closer, seeing Mark’s Adams apple bob in his throat. You reached up and gently pulled his mask down, biting your lip before leaning in and pressed your lips to his tenderly, your bottom lip slipping between his soft ones. For a moment, you forgot about your problems. A low noise left his throat and he eagerly kissed you back, his hands fumbling to come out of his pockets to reach one up and place it on the side of your face, pulling you in closer as his breath dusted your skin. His breathing was hitching, his other hand gently tangling in your hair and his lips got more aggressive, sweet noises being pulled from him. You were the first to break, eyes fluttering back open and glancing at him before he kissed you again, this time much more pressure and neediness before breaking off quickly.
“Your hotel or mine?” He spoke breathlessly.
“Find out where Johnny and Irene are.” You grinned, pecking him once more and he quickly whipped out his phone. You didn’t miss the bright blush on his face before he pulled his mask back up as he texted his friend. There was almost no time before Johnny responded back that he and Irene went ahead to a karaoke bar to meet up with Jungwoo and Jaehyun. You had no idea how or when everything had gotten so crazy, but all you heard out of that was that your hotel room was empty, and you wanted Mark as soon as possible. “My place is open, then.” You grabbed his arm and pulled up your directions, quickly calling for an Uber to bring you because somehow the two of you had ended up extremely far away in the cold and gotten caught up in the conversations.
When you both stepped into the Uber, Mark’s hands were on your thighs and you had to bite back the urge to have him right then and there because not only would it be uncomfortable, it was rude, and you liked your private time with Mark. You placed your hand on top of his and you saw the grin reach his eyes as he stared out of the window, sitting much too close to you in an empty back seat. The minute you pulled up at the hotel, Mark groaned and let out a quick, “Thank god.” You laughed in response, tugging him by the hand into the building and easily making your way into the elevator. The second you were inside with the doors closed, Mark couldn’t keep his hands off of you, harshly kissing your lips in the empty elevator with both hands on your face and your back pressed flush against the wall.
Mark wasn’t ever so needy, and you definitely didn’t mind.
You detached and pulled him immediately to the hotel door, giggles pulling from his lips as you made your way inside, the two of you tossing your coats on the floor and went straight back to making out. His tongue easily found entrance to your mouth, moaning at the heat of the moment. It felt so good to kiss Mark, both letting out heavy breaths and as he pushed himself closer to you, you could feel his arousal pressed against your hip, the heat in your core throbbing. This was the least talkative you’d both been in the bedroom, but words didn’t seem necessary. You backed him over to the bed, laying him down and you loved how flushed he looked, like he was all yours as you sat in his lap, barely hovering his small frame. Mark groaned, hands finding your hips and you reached down to him, tossing his hat and mask off the bed.
“Damn, I could get used to this.” He giggled again with a dopey smile and his disheveled hair spoke volumes. You rolled your eyes, smiling before kissing him hard again, his hands reaching down to gently grope your ass, soft hands kneading over your bottoms and you couldn’t help but to giggle into his mouth. It was suddenly very warm in the room, much too warm for all the layers you both had on and you pulled away from him, panting and out of breath. Mark looked so beautiful and flushed that you could moan, sighing and pulling off the top layer of your shirt before working his off as well, leaving him in a white button up that was much too wrinkled. He looked so soft in white, you had to remind him of that later. You tossed your top away, the underlayer riding up and Mark slipped his hands up the fabric, groaning at the fact that you’d neglected to wear anything but shirts. His hand found your breast, kneading at the flesh as you gasped, grinding your hips down on his.
“Mark,” You sighed, eyes fluttering shut. “I missed you.”
“I missed you too.” He groaned as you leaned closer, slipping his other hand under your shirt and toying with a nipple, the two of you much too flustered to make any other commentary. He lifted his knee up to lean you back down, kissing harshly again and your hands worked their way down Mark’s shirt buttons, feeling his muscles tense under you along with his breaths. His hips moved up to get any kind of friction and you loved how much he wanted it. You didn’t question him, easily opening his shirt before going to his jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them slowly to tease him, his breathing got heavier with every move.
You moved your hips back a bit, settling more on his lap before slipping your hand into his boxers. He gasped at the coldness of your fingers, but he didn’t complain. Your hands were still cold from outside, but it seemed more like an exciting difference. Your fingertips danced along his length, feeling him bite at your lip sending you out of this world. “Want you, now.” He panted against your lips and you weren’t one to deny him. You quickly slipped back between his legs to tug your pants off as you let his arms fall back to his sides, but Mark couldn’t wait.
His hands were on you again, quickly tugging at the fabric and pulling them off of your legs with a fire in him you hadn’t seen before. He tossed them on the floor before hovering over you again. He tugged your underwear to the side and pulled his length out of his jeans. You sighed heavily as he pumped at himself a few times, eyes hooded. You caught his eyes, the two of your faces a complete mess. “Fuck,” You panted, earning a breathy laugh from him before pushing him back down on the bed to take slight control again. You sat with your clothed folds along his length, rubbing yourself with closed eyes and you felt him grasping at the bed sheets, panting at the feeling. “Condom?” You questioned, hearing him gulp and try to fish one out of his shirt pocket.
You giggled a bit at his anticipation, but you weren’t going to comment and embarrass him further. His face was already so red and spent when he handed the packet to you, a smirk playing on your face as you tore the foil open with your teeth. His hands were searching your body, slipping underneath you to lift your hips up. His fingers snuck under the fabric of your underwear and played in your arousal and you swear you heard him moan. You were a bit distracted as you fumbled with the rubber, his fingers dancing along your clit before slipping two inside, quickly quirking them forward toward himself and you hushed a moan, panting heavily as you tried to slip the condom on him, a mess of hands and sweat making you both see fog. You rocked down onto his fingers, wrapping your own around his length and jerking him off slowly, a sigh of relief leaving his lips.
His arousal was so evident with the redness of his cock and you were nearly dying to have it inside you. He slipped his fingers out of you when he couldn’t take it anymore, moving them to his own lips and you gasped when you saw him slip them inside of his mouth. You were quiet, just ready to have Mark again. You lifted your hips and watched him suck his fingers clean, lining him up with your entrance and the crotch of your underwear pushed to the side. The two of you hadn’t been so hasty or fumbling before, but it seemed oddly fitting.
You sunk down on him quickly, pulling a throaty groan from the boy underneath you, his head tipped back in ecstasy. You let out a noise of satisfaction, happy to finally have him inside again, enjoying it for a minute before he got eager, his hips moving himself inside of you just barely. “C-can’t take it anymore, need to feel you.” He panted out, his lips swollen and pouty as you grinned, rocking yourself down on him. You barely registered his warm hands on your sides again until he pulled you down, your clit grinding against his pelvic bone and you saw stars, whining a bit as you pushed your hips down against him again, the friction driving him wild and he was whining.
You didn’t expect those noises from him, but you couldn’t say you didn’t like it. He was panting more and more, and you were chasing your high, loving the way Mark filled you, sweet noises filling the hotel room and the wet sounds of skin on skin made your head spin. Mark’s breathing was heavier than you ever heard it before, and he was gasping. “Gonna-gonna come.” You were a little surprised, usually his stamina was good, but this time something was different. You heard him gasp loudly one last time, his eyes screwing shut and you felt him shake lightly underneath you. You stilled your hips, giggling at how out of it he was, and you let him ride it out, gently moving your hips until he couldn’t take it anymore. “Sit-sit on my face, please.” He pleaded with droopy eyes and you weren’t going to deny him.
You were hesitant at first, crawling over and hovering over his face, He pulled the crotch of your underwear and ripped slightly, then with full force tore the fabric open then all the way up and tossed it off to the floor, smirking below you and you gasped.
“Did you just-“
“Yep.” He cut you off with a grin, pulling you down by your thighs and pressed his tongue against you.
“Oh fuck.” You whined, feeling your knees get weak as he lapped at you, moaning as he sucked softly at your clit. You were lost for a bit, trying to bring yourself back down to earth when you heard your phone ring, gasping again when he slipped his tongue inside before pausing. He pulled away for just a moment.
“Answer it.” He smirked again before pulling you back down.
“It’s Johnny!” You whined, grinding down back onto his tongue. He shrugged underneath you and you hesitated, deciding to let it go to voicemail and Mark had the audacity to laugh. You quickly picked up your phone with shaky hands just to barely read a text message from the aforementioned person.
Since neither of you two are answering, I just wanted you to know I’m taking your friend back to our hotel, she’s tired and a bit plastered so I’m gonna let her crash there. Have fun you two 😂
It felt like a taunting message, waving it off and tossing your phone back somewhere else on the bed. You didn’t exactly care what Irene was doing at the moment, but she seemed safe with Johnny, so you ignored it. You sighed of relief when Mark nudged his nose against your clit, looking down to see his extremely hooded eyes and you could have burst right there. You moaned loudly, reaching down to gently grab his hair and the noise he made vibrated through you, his tongue flat against your clit and it threw you over the edge, pressing yourself hard into his face and the grip on your thighs tightened, his fingertips almost aching as they pressed into your skin. He continued to lazily lick through your high, pulling away to place soft kisses on your thighs when he figured you’d had enough, bright red blush still evident on his face. You glanced back to see he had discarded the condom and there was spurts of come glistening on his stomach, you flushed again, realizing he’d come from eating you out. Mark was going to be the death of you. You crawled off of his face, collapsing on the bed next to him, both of you panting.
“That was-“ He started.
“Yeah.” You both ended up laughing, Mark tossing his arm over his face in embarrassment. “I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard.” He let out a heavy breath.
“Please, say less.” You snorted, cuddling up to his side and realizing exactly how disgusting and intense the situation was, but you felt so satisfied it didn’t matter. You took an idea, smirking before reaching down to touch his stomach, dancing and teasing your fingertips in his come.
“D-don’t.” He groaned when you looked down to see his half-hard cock slightly twitch. “Give-give me a minute.” He pleaded. So you did, but it wasn’t going to be over just yet, you both knew that.
-
“The breakfast here is nice.” Mark was smiling shyly, sitting in the corner cafe with you. The place was relatively empty and you liked that Mark had to find places to easily hide from photographers, it gave you a bit more space from people in general, but the quietness of Mark was also a bit weird. He was smiling, but much more shy than before, but you assumed it was because of the situation you were in and he was a bit uncomfortable during the day anyway in a normal situation.
“Yeah, I love breakfast food.” You shrugged, taking a bite of your own food, enjoying the silence. You both were a bit sad because you were going to part ways that day, which seemed like another reason that Mark was being distant. You weren’t used to seeing him for only a minute and it felt weird to have only went on a date and slept with each other, so you sighed, seeing Mark pick at his food and eat in small bites. You frowned. “So, you guys heading out later?”
Mark nodded, shrugging before looking up at you. “Yeah, we’re headed back home after this, so.” He had a sad smile, looking up to catch your eyes. “I’m-um, sorry we didn’t get to hang out more.” He added shyly.
“No, no it’s fine, I’m just glad I got to see you.” Mark was smiling with his mouth full and it made you feel better. He was fidgety in his chair, probably from nerves.
“Yeah, I really am glad I got to see you too.” He nodded, sighing softly before taking a drink from his glass. “And Johnny and your friend seem to still be having a good time, they got breakfast this morning.” He snorted, wiping his mouth. “Everyone seems pretty happy.” He sighed again.
“You seem nervous.” You pointed out finally, settling your hands in your own lap.
“Yeah, I don’t really feel like leaving yet, it’s always a bummer when we go home.” You frowned, remembered how much happier he was in North America but it was interesting to hear him admit he didn’t want to go home at all. You felt bad that he had to leave, and you wished he could stay. Mark needed to be back at his hotel in an hour or so, so it was nice that he was spending his last bit of time with you. He said himself that he would’ve just been sitting in his room all night long probably, so the fun you guys had was at least worth it. “I hate coming here for like two days.” He frowned. You sighed and reached over the table to gently squeeze his hand. His smile was soft, but it was worth it. You both finished up your food and sheepishly made your way outside to head your way to his hotel.
When you pulled up, the taxi stopped at the corner and Mark looked at you with the softest eyes you’d ever seen. He sighed and squeezed your knee gently before wrapping your arms around you, hugging you tightly and relaxing into your neck. You both pulled away after a heartfelt embrace, frowning at the fact that you had to separate once again. “Text me?” You asked softly and got a warm nod before he pulled back to lean in for a kiss, his soft lips making your face feel hot. It was a tender kiss, one that longed for something more ,but you knew it was time. “I’ll see you later.” You got a grin back.
“Yeah, I’ll, um, see you soon, okay?” He giggled softly, opening the door and sighing as he stepped out, waving back at you as he made his way back into his hotel in the clothes he was still wearing the day before. You didn’t mind seeing him like that though, it reminded you that the two of you had your time together.
You saw Irene saunter out of the hotel, a grin plastered on her face and sunglasses covering her eyes. You shook your head in disbelief, snorting when she stumbled into the car, a cup of hotel coffee in her hands.
“So, it looks like your night was nice.” You teased, raising a brow at her.
“God, you don’t even know.” Irene was laughing. “My makeup is so messed up and yet I woke up to a gorgeous man making me hotel coffee in boxers and a white t-shirt and I still didn’t get his number.” She groaned, smile still painted on. “I literally never do anything like that, and I know you’re my boss but you have no room to judge me.” She shrugged again.
“Well, I’m not going to judge you, but I also have to mention that I do have that guy’s number.” You saw her mouth agape.
“Holy shit give it to me.” She was serious and you almost had to laugh. “He meant to last night, but we got, um, distracted.” She cleared her throat.
“Johnny right?” You giggled as you joked, scrolling through your contacts as the taxi made its way back to your hotel. “Yeah, it’s right here.” You showed your phone to her, seeing her excitedly type it into her own phone. “You’re not gonna like, text him right now are you?” You snorted, taking your phone back after she added it to her phone.
“Oh of course not, I’m going to wait it out and see if he asks you for mine, then I’ll have it for when he decides to hit me up.” She was always very forward, shrugging. It was actually extremely funny, but you wouldn’t push her forward. “But I also got hardly any sleep last night, so I want to take a nap before we head to Jersey.” You had actually forgotten that you were supposed to head out that night, but you figured it definitely was a good idea to go there tonight before the morning conference.
“Shit, I’ve still got to make prints.” You groaned.
“We’ll stop by a print shop on the way.” She was always thinking ahead, you were thankful, but you could definitely tell she needed some sleep and it wouldn’t hurt for you to get a nap in. You and Mark had practically been up all night anyway because of jet lag and other things, but you’d shut your mouth on that one. Irene was yawning, so you figured it was best to keep quiet.
You both took an equally satisfying nap, only a few hours passing by. Thankfully when you got up you were both easily ready to go, showering quickly and making your way out and wait for your Uber. You both decided it was the best and easiest way to get to Newark and it wasn’t at all long of a drive. Your mood was slightly down, still thinking about Mark and quickly realizing the two of you hadn’t actually talked about any of your issues. It left a sore spot in your heart and the rest of the ride felt a little weird. You stopped to make prints on the way and didn’t miss the stupid grin across Irene’s face.
“What’s up with you?” You asked, trying to ignore the feelings in your own chest.
“Johnny’s really cool.” She shrugged, sighing happily as she scrolled through her own phone. “I ended up texting him and he said thank god I got his number and you know I don’t normally do that.” She snorted. “Maybe we can both have some fun. How was Mark, dare I ask?”
You sighed heavily, a slight smile playing on your lips. “He was great, we, uh, didn’t talk really, so I’m kind of bummed, but I think it’ll be fine.” Irene frowned a bit, sighing.
“I mean maybe he got over it?” She offered help, but it didn’t really seem accurate. “Maybe he realized it doesn’t matter and you guys are going to be fine.” She nodded, giving you a wide smile before turning her attention back to her phone. “Johnny says they’re about to head out.” Her giggle made your eyes almost roll. You hadn’t heard from Mark at all, which made you worried, but you weren’t going to pry.
“Okay get this, he’s got a weird really bad tattoo on his ass that says I heart Chicago.” Irene was snorting and you felt your chest get tighter, trying your best to smile at her and act like it was all fine. “He’s really weird and I know it’s quick but I kinda like him, he’s cool.”
“I get it, I get it.” You snorted, almost trying to change the subject. You whipped out your phone to see no new messages. You sighed again. “So,they’re-“ You cleared your throat. “Theyre about to board?” You asked, biting your lip and knowing you shouldn’t ask questions.
“Yeah, John said he’s got on-flight wifi so we’re gonna play some dumb game tonight.” Irene reminded you, just making you even a little more upset. If Mark had on-flight wifi then why couldn’t he text you on the plane too? Or even before? Your head was swimming in thoughts and wondering what was going on, so you decided to send him a single text.
Fly safe!
He wouldn’t know that you meant it condescendingly, but you were just looking for a response at all. The only thing you really got from them at all was group messages, unfortunately from everyone but Mark. Even Jaehyun, who was the least active member of the groupchat, was being active, You didn’t understand why Mark wasn’t talking, but you began to feel like you were overthinking. You felt like banging your head against a wall, waiting for your prints to hurry up. The car was waiting outside and as soon as the last one printed, you tried to rush a laughing Irene out to it, but she wanted to review and invoice everything, so she was lagging. You needed some fresh air, standing outside. You lit up a cigarette, trying to relax. You were mad at yourself because you’d been really trying to lay off smoking, but when you weren’t around Mark and your anxiety was high, you needed it. You read over the messages you missed a couple times, they were mostly talking about how crazy America always was, but all you wished is that Mark’s name would pop up on your phone.
You were halfway down the cigarette when your phone buzzed, glancing down to see a simple, effortless text from Mark.
Thanks! I’ll let you know when we land
You felt like crying, but you needed to be strong. You never did get that text, still only getting responses in the groupchat and you knew Mark had to be fine because the rest of them were acting normal, but it pained you since he wasn’t very forward with his feelings. Taeyong hadn’t even messaged you so maybe Mark was fine, and that hurt more than anything. Maybe he was fine and perfectly content without you and you just had to hope that it was just your mind making that up.
The meeting went perfectly, thankfully. The city was clean and the two of you had a wonderful time walking around and discussing the proper real estate investments. You’d wanted to open a new location on the east coast for a while, but never took the steps to get it done and now the keys were almost literally in your hand. There was tons of work to do, but you knew you could get it done. Irene would be on campus there for the first 6 months after the building details were worked out and things seemed to be going well.
Except the fact that in your heart, nothing felt right. At the point when you got home, you still hadn’t heard from Mark or anyone else, but a gut feeling made you not want to ask. You were worried and only had small talk about Johnny with Irene and you hated the amount of jealousy you were feeling from not getting your own interest to talk to you. You were normally tough, you were normally the one to ghost people due to distractions, but you’d just seen Mark a few days ago and he was in your bed all night, so why hadn’t he messaged you aside from that one message? He was normally blowing up your phone prior to the entire incident with him finding out. Why wasn’t he worried about talking to you anymore? He seemed to really be getting along with you in the hotel room.
It made you sick to think about, how easily you two slept together after a big conversation and part of you felt a little used, slightly heartbroken and unresolved because it was so obvious that everything was falling apart, and you stayed hopeful when you shouldn’t have. You had a whole new store opening up and you should’ve been focused on work, but all you could think about was the fact that you were only getting one or two pathetic messages from him a day until they became days apart, only rarely getting a half-assed response from the group chats when he didn’t respond to you.
You missed Mark.
You felt sick. Things got harder, they did, and after about a month of suffering, you stopped responding all together, just hoping Mark would pick back up in talking to you on his own when the time got right, but you felt a bit hopeless and you were right. Mark was no longer making an effort and it had been about three weeks of smoking heavily and not talking to him at all. Your chest hurt when you saw him on your social media timelines. Your love for them felt so different and you almost felt sick each time you saw his smile. You heard about their new song coming out and you realized just how long it had been since you’d seen him. Time passed by so quickly and it was two days shy of two months and you tried not to cry, but you missed how things were and part of you knew this would happen, you just didn’t expect to take it so hard especially for so long.
You’d flown out east on location multiple times because due to how the meeting went, investors were pushing for opening sooner and you’d been successful at every single opening yet with immaculate concentration and precision. You felt nice to have the distraction of worrying about work, but each time you stepped into the crisp New York air, you were pelted with remembrance of your night with Mark and wondered what went wrong after you left him. Things looked perfect from the outside when you were there, but you wished you could’ve changed how it went. Maybe you did something wrong along the way that you weren’t picking up because Mark had been all over you and he was the one who pushed sleeping together, so you were left dumbfounded and trying to remember that the new location was important and you needed to ignore your feelings about the hurt in your heart from the last place you saw the person you called your boyfriend. You didn’t know where you stood anymore.
You hated that you got so wrapped up in the idea of Mark that you ended up ruining it all by fearing you’d ruin it. You were aching for him to call you, talk to you, anything because he still would be so close to you all year with promotions. Hell, you’d seen the SM Entertainment schedule for the whole year of 2020, and he’d be there in the states constantly especially with a new Neo City tour that stopped immediately in Los Angeles in June. Before you knew it, February had come up and you wished you could stop thinking about the fact that Mark would be in your state with SuperM in only a few days. You tried your hardest not to be hopeful, but you couldn’t help yourself.
You’d been staring at the StubHub app for 30 minutes now and SuperM tickets were going lower and lower by the day and they looked so pleasing, to maybe see him again and talk, maybe catch up, meet up, anything. You went over it a few times in your head and after a long day of work and a glass or so of wine, you made the horrible decision of buying tickets.
You swallowed after you pressed pay, leaning back in your bed and thinking about what you’d done, but it felt like the right choice. They were going to be there within the next two days and you had to chance it. Maybe you’d get your answer. You bought two tickets because the closest spot available only had two seats, so you sucked it up and decided to go for it. You didn’t even think about who could possibly accompany you until you gasped at realization. You opened your phone again to quickly call Irene, who was supposed to be at home by now.
She answered after the first ring.
“Hello sweetheart!” You hadn’t seen Irene much over the last couple weeks, the two of you busy with store arrangements and whatnot. She’d been interviewing for the new hires in Jersey as soon as the new year started, the two of you rarely crossing paths between flights, and she’d gotten back last week, so hearing her voice felt nice.
“Irene!” You had to take a breath.
“What’s the situation?” She snorted and you could hear her flipping through her keys in the background. “I’m just getting home so it better be good.” She was teasing, but you had to calm down before speaking to her properly.
“I just bought tickets to the SuperM San Diego show and I wanted to know if you wanted to come with me.” You spoke much faster than anticipated but you heard a small pause over the speaker. “They’re performing there, and I want to see Mark but I think it was a bad choice because I’m freaking out. Help me, please.”
“I think I can do it.” She was giggling and you knew it was a good sign. “What day is it?”
“The 30th of January.” You groaned, realizing that it was only two days away and you’d have to travel there from Los Angeles, which wasn’t ideal, but it wasn’t an extremely far ride either. You heard silence again before a sigh.
“You’re literally insane.” She snorted. “Yeah, I’m in.”
“God you’re a lifesaver.” You laughed, almost on the verge of tears. You wanted to see Mark, you had to. It felt like the only appropriate way to do it and your mind was still really fuzzy from missing him, but at least you had someone to indulge with you. She knew the two of you hadn’t spoken and the tension was touchy when you saw each other and tried to avoid bringing up the subject of your love life due to the unfortunate circumstances. Irene didn’t pry, she never did.
“Is Johnny going to be there?” She giggled softly and you tried your hardest not to roll your eyes.
Of course, Irene was lucky and had kept contact with him and you were at home for weeks moping about the one you were sure you had lost. You sighed. “No, he’s not in that group, ‘Rene.” You snorted a little, shaking your head. “But he’ll be here in June if you guys are still a thing.”
“Ugh, the things I do for you.” She sighed heavily, but you could tell it wasn’t serious. “Yeah, I’ll come, we leave Friday morning?”
“What about Thursday evening?” You bit your lip, hoping that maybe you’d get a chance to see them when they landed, maybe you’d get the gumption to text Mark and handle everything and you’d both be fine again. Realistically you knew that that was a low probability, but you had to try. Maybe Ten and Taemin could help you out again. They were the main ones who got you into that mess in the first place, maybe their presence would help. You were freaking out in your head and you didn’t even register that you were still on the phone until you heard your name getting yelled at you. “Uh, s-sorry I got distracted, what were you saying?”
“I said it’s fine but you’re booking the hotel.” She was laughing again. “You gonna actually hang out with Mark, not just sleep together? Are you gonna talk?” You groaned in response, not really wanting to tell her what you were up to, but you wanted to fill her in at least a little. You fibbed a tiny bit.
“We haven’t talked in a week, I thought I’d surprise him.” You bit your lip and hoped Irene was nice enough to understand.
“Perfect, it seems to be a habit of pulling up on him, yeah?”
“I guess so.” You sighed again. Maybe you should text him, maybe he was more relaxed since he was soon to be in the states and was going to go to his hometown soon. Maybe he’d be in a better spot to respond to you. You tried to reason in your head that the possible reason that you two didn’t talk much was specifically because he was out of the country again. You were trying to remain hopeful.
“Okay, well you seem distracted, so I’ll call you later?” You knew she was right; you couldn’t even hold a conversation.
“Okay, love you.” You sighed again, biting your lip and wondering what had brought you to the point in your life where you were showing up randomly to see a guy. You never thought you’d be in that position to like anyone so much before.
“Love you too! I’m gonna go home and pack. Get some rest tonight!” You definitely needed the rest. It had been a few weeks since you really got a decent night’s sleep, so you hoped her blessing meant something. You sighed and hung up, shaking your head to try and pull yourself back together. You opened your phone back up, scrolling through social media to steady your mind, which happened to end up the opposite when you found an update that very clearly stated that the members were in LAX that morning, literally miles away from your home and you blinked in shock. They were there already? You tried to steady your breathing. It was a sign, you needed to speak to Mark soon. You had no idea where he was or what he was doing at the moment, but being so close to you had to mean something.
#nct#nct smut#mark lee smut#mark lee#nct imagines#nct fluff#nct angst#superm#tommowrites#nctfic#unintentional
45 notes
·
View notes
Text
1052
surveys by lets-make-surveys
1 - Who was the last person to knock on your door? Were they there to see you?
Nina usually knocks briefly in the evening to let me know it’s time for dinner. Other than my ex in the past, I don’t let anyone stay in my room for long. Knocking and peeking into my room is enough.
2 - Have you left the house yet today? If not, do you have plans to leave the house later on?
No, as it’s only 10 in the morning and I don’t really have a reason to be out somewhere this early. I might go out to buy presents for more relatives, but that’s only if I feel productive enough today. We’ll see.
3 - What’s your favourite brand of chocolate? What type of chocolate bar from that brand is your favourite?
The older I get the more I feel like gagging from the idea of chocolate bars lol; they’re all just so sweet. These days my top three would be Hershey’s cookies and cream bar, Whittaker’s chocolate peanut butter bar, and Twix bars. I also love Reese’s, but they aren’t bars.
4 - Have you ever met someone in person who you first met on the internet? Do you have plans to do that anytime soon?
Yes, I’ve done this before and I’ve recounted the stories on here multiple times. As for the second question, yeah I technically do? I’ve only met my workmates online so far, so I’m constantly looking forward to the opportunity to finally meet them all in real life.
5 - What was the last thing you used a blender for?
I’ve never used a blender. We don’t even own a blender.
6 - Have you ever got into an argument with a stranger on social media? Do you remember what it was about?
Yeah, but I don’t even remember what it was about anymore...I do know it was this year, and the person deleted the comment that I replied to not long after.
7 - When was the last time you cracked your joints? Is that something you do often?
Now that you reminded me, I just did. I do it at least once a day, whenever my fingers start to feel tight and tense.
8 - What time is it right now? If you weren’t doing a survey, what else would you be doing right now?
It is 1:52 PM. I’d be heading to the mall to buy more presents, but I don’t feel like getting out of bed yet. I’d also do embroidery, but my online orders are taking a while to arrive :( My online shopping app says I'll be getting them by Jan 3rd, but the shipping tracker says it’s already being shipped from China to here so I’m looking forward to receiving it this week. I hope that’s the case; otherwise it’ll miss the point of being my hobby this Christmas break.
9 - If you had ten minutes to run around an empty supermarket and fill your trolley for free, what’s the first aisle you’d go for?
The fancy meat/fish section. Then I’d go to the condiments/spice section, then frozen food, then chips.
10 - Aside from Tumblr, what websites do you visit the most and why?
YouTube, because I find videos a soothing distraction; Twitter to keep me updated on local and international news; Reddit for quirky posts; and Wikipedia so I can continue learning trivia I’ll never have to use but want to gain anyway.
11 - Has COVID had any impact on your Christmas plans this year? What’s going to change or be different to normal?
My dad is home for Christmas this year, which is one silver lining from Covid. But my relatives living abroad who usually fly back to the Philippines for the holidays obviously won’t be able to this year, so we’re not gonna have a packed family reunion like we normally do. Everything else is the same, but I think the biggest thing about this whole thing is that I can barely feel Christmas coming this year. I think it’s going to feel like such a plain Friday this week; and that makes me a little sad.
12 - What’s your favourite flavour of cake? Are you any good at making that kind of cake?
My favorite flavor is chocolate, but my favorite kind of cake (which I enjoy a lot more than general chocolate cake) is cheesecake. I cannot make either, nor can I bake at all.
13 - Do you prefer sweet or sour candy?
Sweet. I hate any sour foods with a passion lol especially sour candy; it is my absolute least favorite taste. I don’t find anything enjoyable or fulfilling about it.
14 - What colour is your favourite fruit? Is this a fruit you eat often?
Already made my feelings for fruit clear on this blog, haha.
15 - Is your favourite restaurant an independent place or a chain? What is it that you love about it so much?
It’s a chain, like most popular restaurants here. Independent places are a little hard to come by, to be honest. They make the best katsu I’ve ever had; and I also like that despite being a chain restaurant, the ambience is still quite sophisticated and date-friendly so I always feel like I’m treating myself whenever I eat there.
16 - Are you genuinely a fan of Starbucks or do you think it’s all hype?
I personally enjoy everything about Starbucks. I like their coffees, their Frappes, the ambience in their coffee shops, their playlists, and their line-up of mugs and tumblers. I’ve always felt right at home in their shops and out of all the cafés I’ve been to, it’s always their baristas that have been the nicest.
17 - Do you own a Christmas jumper? What design/pattern does it have on it?
No, I don’t.
18 - What’s your favourite fit/style of jeans?
I was obsessed with mom jeans throughout 2020.
19 - What was the last non-essential item you spent money on?
Overpriced coffee and a sandwich.
20 - Are you currently under any COVID-related restrictions where you live? Are people generally following the rules?
Public places are super strict with requiring everyone to wear a face shield and face mask; before entering any establishment, people’s temperatures are taken and everyone’s also required to take a contact tracing form. Anyone under the age of 21 still isn’t allowed to go out for the most part, though I think there are some exceptions now because I see kids younger than me already going on out-of-town trips again. Some places that are big on tourism like Sagada, Batanes, and Baguio are still closed off from the public; those that have since reopened, like Boracay, follow strict protocol and everyone going there is required to undergo a swab test. Everyday Filipinos follow the rules; it’s the politicians and police force who don’t, which feels disgusting to say.
21 - What did you last leave the room you’re in to do?
A package arrived for me so I had to pay for it. It was the phone case I ordered for my cousin.
22 - Have you ever read any self-help books? Did you find them useful?
No. I don’t really believe in that genre, so I never felt pulled to buy a book.
23 - What’s your favourite programme on the Food Network (if you watch it)? If you don’t get that channel, what’s your favourite food/cookery show in general?
All things Gordon Ramsay, man. MasterChef, Hell’s Kitchen, and Kitchen Nightmares are all *chef’s kiss* The Great British Bake Off is also great and something I like watching when I want to wind down :)
24 - Do you still watch cartoons?
From time to time.
25 - Who do you know with the most number of siblings? Would you ever want to live in a huge family?
My grandpa was one of nine siblings, if I’m not mistaken. I’m not sure if I know a bigger set than that. Unless my family was filthy rich, I would not want to have such a big immediate family.
26 - Are you a fan of garlic bread?
Sure. I tend to ask for others’ too, heh.
27 - Do you own any personalised clothing? What’s the reason for getting it?
No, not a fan. Two years ago we had a huge family reunion on my dad’s side and we had to wear these cheesy shirts that said “[Last Name] Reunion” with some cheesy motto at the bottom. My parents hated it, which made me feel better about my own feelings about the shirt lol.
28 - Is anyone else in the same room as you right now? What is that person up to?
No, it’s just me here.
29 - What colours are you wearing right now? Does your wardrobe contain a lot of those colours?
White, maroon, and scarlet. I have a lot of white and maroon; not so much of scarlet as I find the color too bold.
30 - Do you like adding condiments to your food? If so, what are some of your favourites?
Yes. My food always needs to have soup, condiments, or sauces; otherwise I tend to feel the dish is too dry. I like mayonnaise, banana ketchup, hot sauce, and lechon sauce.
--
1 - What have you been up to so far today? Is that a typical thing for you to do on this particular day of the week?
I’ve taken a couple of surveys and started binge-watching segments of my newest Korean reality show discovery, 2 Days 1 Night. The breakout actor from Start-Up and the newest love of my life HAHAHA is a cast member on the current season of 2D1N so I’ve been all over the show today. It’s hilarious; I can hardly believe I’m only discovering the show this late.
2 - Did you get a decent night’s sleep last night? How many hour’s sleep do you consider a decent amount?
It was around five hours, which isn’t a lot to me. I usually sleep 7-9 hours these days, but I might wreck my body clock during the holiday break because I want to keep being awake and do the things I haven’t been able to do because of work.
3 - What is one silly thing that really gets on your nerves?
Seeing pickles in a burger.
4 - Who was the last person you saw who wasn’t family? What did you guys end up doing together?
The friendly Starbucks barista from yesterday; her name was Princess. We didn’t do anything lol, she just took my order and was super friendly about it, and she also gave me the Starbucks planner that I chose to redeem.
5 - Do you prefer hot or cold drinks overall?
Cold. I avoid hot drinks now haha. Ever since I had that incident with the takoyaki, I’ve been too scared to let any hot food or drink touch my mouth.
6 - Do you own a decent set of waterproofs? If so, what do you use them for the most? If not, do you think that would be something you’d find useful?
I don’t know what this is referring to, and I’m too lazy to Google right now. I’ve only ever known this word as an adjective, whoops.
7 - Do you have any plans for the rest of the day?
Take more surveys, and maybe have another cup of coffee. I’ll also have to get started on a daily report I submit for work every weekday morning so that my load will be lighter tomorrow. Our office is technically on shutdown until January 4th, but some clients require a daily report every day and I’ll have to shoulder that with another co-associate. It sucks, but at least it’s the only thing I’ll have to do for the next two weeks.
8 - How often do you get your hair cut? When hairdressers were closed due to COVID, did you try cutting it yourself at home?
I only go to the salon once a year, and I already did it this 2020 when I chopped off my hair and got bangs. Yeah, whenever my bangs start to get too long I either ask my mom to trim them or I do so myself.
9 - What did you wear the last time you left the house? Is that different to what you’re wearing at the moment?
I walked Cooper half an hour ago and I just stayed in the same clothes I’ve been in all day, which was a tank top underneath an oversized hoodie and a pair of shorts.
10 - Would you rather have a relaxing beach holiday or a more active holiday in the mountains?
The beach would be perfect right now, but I think my answer changes every time this is asked and I’m pretty sure I picked mountains the last time HAHAHA. I just realized being in the mountains would give me the same cooped-up feeling I’ve been having from staying at home for such a long time, and it might not be the best and healthiest trip for me...the beach definitely sounds more freeing and therapeutic.
11 - Do you know how to tie a tie?
Nah, never learned. I’ve never been good at tying anything up, period.
12 - How old were you when you first had a sleepover at someone’s house? Did you miss home?
I was 15 or 16; I’m not entirely sure anymore. Not at all, I was so excited to have been allowed to go to my first sleepover.
13 - How often do you spend time with your extended family?
Under normal circumstances, we’d visit my grandma and cousins on my mom’s side once every few months or so. It was pretty regular since they’re just a stone’s throw away. But obviously we’ve since had to drastically cut our get-togethers back, and I’ve only seen them around three times since the beginning of the year. My dad’s family lives pretty far south, so I only get to see them once or twice a year even in pre-Covid days; not much of a difference there.
14 - When you get up in the morning, do you have a set routine?
No. I just wake up feeling dread and have no choice but to wait for the weight in my chest to subside.
15 - Do you remember the last time you cried? Were they sad or happy tears?
Yesterday in my car, in the mall parking lot. Sad tears.
16 - What do you have planned once you finish this survey?
Look for another one. I misseddddd taking surveys and I plan on taking a crap ton of them this Christmas break. I may also be called for dinner, so there’s that.
17 - What was the last thing you cooked? Did you cook from scratch or just heat something up?
I dunno if it counts as cooking, but I just made the DIY ramen kit that I received as a Christmas gift from the branch I was originally an intern at. Everything was already prepared in the kit and all I needed to do was boil water for the noodles and prepare the broth. Turned out surprisingly good.
18 - Are you a fan of hot chocolate? Do you like it plain or do you prefer to add things like whipped cream or marshmallows?
I love hot chocolate and will order it sometimes, but given my aforementioned fear of hot beverages I always wait for it to considerably cool down hahaha. I like my hot chocolate plain.
19 - What caused your last injury?
Cooper’s nails.
20 - How many tattoos and piercings do you have? Do any of them have an interesting story behind them?
Just a piercing on each of my earlobes. No interesting stories...yet.
21 - What kind of flowers do you like the best? When was the last time someone bought those for you?
I like peonies, though I’m not sure if my ex ever gave me a bouquet that included those.
22 - What’s the smallest thing you’ve ended a relationship over?
I’ve only been with one person and I dated her twice, but I was never the one who ended the relationship either time so can’t really answer this.
23 - Would you rather order a starter (appetiser) or a dessert? Or would you be able to manage a full three courses?
Three-course meal, pls. I’ve only experienced it once, when my parents treated me to dinner during my cruise gift for my 18th birthday; it was great and every dish was made amazingly well.
24 - How do you get most of your news, if you pay attention to it at all?
I catch the evening news every weeknight because we keep the telvision turned on during dinner. I also get to read articles on social media.
25 - Have you or a member of your family been diagnosed with COVID yet?
None that I know of, thankfully. It’s always been someone that a relative knows, but so far none of us have gotten it.
26 - Are you a vegetarian? If so, what persuaded you to stop eating meat? If not, is it something you’d ever consider?
No. I have been considering it for years, but I truthfully don’t know if I could give up meat.
27 - Do you prefer rice or pasta?
Rice.
28 - Is anything you’re wearing a gift? Who bought it for you?
No.
29 - What’s the dominant colour in the room you’re in at the moment?
I guess white, since my walls are white and that’s the first thing you see when entering my room.
30 - Did you do laundry yet today? If not, do you need to do any before you go to bed?
Not my chore to do, but it was already done a few days ago.
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
corrienteallita
Sims Stuff
darknarcotic420
Get High
queenhee
👑QUEEN hee
credences-blog
Credence Travel
blogyazariolmak
Blog Yazarı Olmak