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phoenixkaptain · 2 years

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Din Djarin and Luke Skywalker are both two men who get progressively scarier the more you watch them.

Like, Luke in A New Hope was baby af. He was a child. Even in the Empire Strikes Back, what a little guy. A tiny fellow.

Then boom, Return of the Jedi, and Luke is smiling and like “Tell these Ewoks that you are their God and that if they do not release us, you will be Angered…” He is in all black, he is missing a hand, he has gone off the rails conpletely. He’s like “How will I tell Leia that we’re siblings? …Oh! I know! Riddles!” Luke Skywalker gets struck by Force Lightning like nine times and still gets up and drags his dad’s lifeless body out. There were moments one might look at him and think, “no, ur wrong, he still babie” but you are the wrong one! He goes into Jabba’s Palace and straight up stands there smiling and threatening him the whole time. He’s standing on a plank over the Sarlacc and he’s still like “So this is how you’d like to play :)” Luke straight up snapped, he got spooky by the end of the og trilogy.

Din Djarin, straight off the back, is kind of intimidating. He is a man in full armour who hunts people and freezes them in carbonite and appears behind their shoulders when they least expect it. But, after Grogu shows up, you probably think “this man is weak to this baby, he will become soft” but no! The opposite happens!

I’m talking about episode 6. The Prisoner. I have wanted desperately to talk about this for days, but have only just found the words to do so. Let me explain.

Din Djarin is filmed and edited like a horror movie villain. Like a supernatural force of evil who stalks his prey. Straight up like a slasher villain out of the eighties. There’s hints of this beforehand, what with Din appearing behind a guy in the very first episode, and the fact that he has been shot point blank (many times) but no matter how many times he falls, he always gets back up. Okay, that’s all fine and good.

But episode 6 goes beyond that. He stalks a bunch if assholes through flickering red lights. He splits them up, he takes them out one by one, and the last person standing manages to get out, thinks they’ve escaped, only to die (technically) at Din’s hand anyway. He is straight up a horror movie villain I don’t know how else to explain it, he is a horror movie villain.

Don’t take this the wrong way. Being spooky and intimidating isn’t a bad thing, especially not in Star Wars! Luke Skywalker and his ability to say terrible things while smiling, Din Djarin and his predilection for appearing right behind someone, these ar egood things. I like these things a lot. I love these. I love that Luke is the cutest little scary fella in the galaxy. I love that Din is the most awkward little scary fella in the galaxy. I think it’s great.

Why do I bring this up?

Well, for one, I have been trying to word my view on Din Djarin for days now. I love this man, I have to mock him or I’ll feel incomplete. And I think it’s a disservice to pretend that Luke isn’t a person who most people in the Star Wars universe think about and shiver. Don’t get me wrong, I love sunshine boy Luke, but he isn’t really like that, at least not by this point in the series. He just strikes me as the type of person to say incredibly dark, deranged things with a blank face, then smile at cute kittens. Luke is messed up, and we should talk about it more because it’s very interesting to explore the various ways he’s messed up.

But for another, I am a big fan of Din and Luke being buddies who go absolutely anywhere and scare the shit out of people. A Mandalorian next to a Jedi Knight? Two people who eat Storm Troopers for breakfast?? Can you imagine how much the fragments of the Empire that are still left are quaking??? Those two would go absolutelu anywhere and the anyone on planet who ever sided with the Empire would give themselves up or run, immediately.

Like, Din singlehandedly took out that whole troop on Nevarro. All by himself, he shot out all of the Storm Troopers and everyone inside and I like to think there are whispered stories about him similar to the ones about the Boogeyman.

Now, I know Luke didn’t actually kill the Emperor and Darth Vader, but does anyone in universe know that? Or does everyone think that Luke not only blew up the Death Star, but he also murdered the two head honchos and came out completely unscathed? Luke is definitely a boogeyman.

I don’t know. Something about two terrifying men walking into a bar full of Imperials only to walk out five minutes later of a bar full of dead Imperials just really fills me with joy. Something about the mental image I have of Storm Troopers fearfully sharing increasingly terrifying stories about these two makes me happy. I like bad people being scared shitless, all right? Sue me.

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likeadevils · 5 months

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Midnights Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Midnights in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also included a few other songs she worked on while writing Midnights and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order, or this playlist of her entire discography. (warning: there is a very large chunk in the middle of Midnights that I have no information on (Maroon-Dear Reader. On the playlist not the album I have guesses for more than one song)).

I’ve also added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date:

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but all available evidence points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices

Renegade: March 7-15, 2021 (Confirmed)

Aaron: “I wrote the music [for Renegade] at some point after we finished [evermore], and sent it to her, because she was inspired by a llot of the Big Red Machine stuff we were working on. And she had already sung on Birch, a song that hasn't come out yet but is one of the major ones on the record. And I think she wanted to write a song for Big Red Machine. She very much feels like part of this community to me. So I wrote Renegade, the music, and sent it to her. And not unlike a lot of the things we've done together, one day I woke up to a voice memo from her and she had written this incredible song about how anxiety and fear get in the way of loving or being loved. And she was clearly thinking about Big Red Machine. And then we recorded her vocals and everything the week of the Grammys, when I was there in LA, and it was really nice to have something to think about that wasn't related to the Grammys - just to make music because you feel like making it." (transcript from jaimie)

High Infidelity and Would've Could've Should've: March 7-15, 2021 (Confirmed)

Aaron: [Would've Could've Should've], we wrote that song together, and recorded it while we were together in LA for the folklore Grammys. It goes back that far. And the same with High Infidelity. Those songs, we actually recorded in her house, the vocals, we recorded them then. And I just kept making music, and it was kind, after we had made folklore and evermore, I started to have ideas which I would share. And eventually, she obviously made most of Midnights with Jack, and it became something different. But High Infidelity, and Would’ve, Could’ve, Should’ve, and The Great War, and we made Hits Different with Jack and Taylor and I also, and it was great to be part of that record in that way. (transcript from @cages-boxes-hunters-foxes)

The Great War and Hits Different: between April-October 2021 (Speculation)

In the above quote talking about his songs on Midnights, Aaron says "Eventually, she obviously made most of Midnights with Jack, and it became something different," implying his stuff was written before the bulk of midnights in fall. He also says High Infidelity and Would've Could've Should've "[go] back that far," which implies they were some of the earliest stuff on Midnights, so it's safe to assume TGW and Hits Different come sometime afterwards.

Summer 2021: Jack has a session with Sounwave, Sam Dew, and Zoe Kravitz, where the instrumentals for Lavender Haze and likely Glitch are written

Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: Before Antonoff began to work on Swift’s tenth album, he was cooking up tracks with Spears, Dew, and Zoë Kravitz [...] During a brainstorming session, the quartet put together a track that would eventually become “Lavender Haze.”

November 3 2021: It was announced that Joe has been cast in Stars at Noon, alongside Margaret Qualley, Jack Antonoff's then girlfriend now wife. Since Joe was parachuted into the film last minute, filming had already started, making it likely he left as soon as possible.

Taylor: We’d been toying with ideas and had written a few things we loved, but Midnights actually really coalesced and flowed out of us when our partners (both actors) did a film together in Panama. Jack and I found ourselves back in New York, alone, recording every night, staying up late and exploring old memories and midnights past.

November 8: Jack gets back from touring with Bleachers. Let the games begin.

Vigilante Shit: November 2021 (Speculation)

Vigilante Shit is the sole solo writing credit on the album, which implies it was written before her and Jack were holed up together 24/7. Also Scooter and his wife divorced in July. Beyond that there's no evidence this is early in the process, besides it making sense that Taylor wrote this alone, brought it to Jack, and then fell into a creative inferno.

Maroon, Anti-Hero, You're on Your Own Kid, Midnight Rain, Bejeweled, Labyrinth, Mastermind, Paris, and Dear Reader: November/December 2021 (Inferring)

I don't have enough info on the making of any of these songs to give them each their own little blurb, but if anything pops up I will update this post and reblog it letting y’all know.

Question..?: After November 21, 2021 (Inferring)

We know Rachel Antonoff, Dylan O'Brien, and Austin Swift were there the day they recorded it thanks to this behind the scenes footage of them recording the cheering vocals. Dylan was filming The Vanishings at Caddo Lake in Louisiana sometime between October 5 and November 20. I don't know exactly which dates he was filming-- he was in New York for All Too Well filming in late October and to attend the premiere on November 12, but since we know for sure he was in Louisiana on the 20th, I'm just gonna Occam's Razor it and say Question was written sometime after he got back from that.

You're Losing Me: December 5, 2021 (Confirmed)

December 17, 2021: Filming wraps on Stars at Noon, and with it the bulk of recording for Midnights.

Lavender Haze: Early 2022 (Speculation)

Lavender Haze, Snow on the Beach, and Karma are the only songs to have Henson Recording Studios credited (I can't find studio credits for the 3am tracks so there is possibly more on there). This could point to them all being recorded around the same time time, or it could be in reference to Jack and Sounwave's original recording sessions taking place at Hensen. I lean towards the former, since 1) it seems like the Winter 2021 sessions were mostly between Taylor and Jack, and the spring sessions have other collaborators, and 2) the tabloid rumors about Taylor and Joe getting engaged really started heating up in February 2022. On the other hand, Sounwave implies that there was a notable stretch of time between Lavender Haze and Karma, so I totally understand if you want to put it with the rest of the Winter 2021 sessions. Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: A few months [after Jack and Sounwave wrote the instrumentals], Antonoff reached out to Spears, Dew, and Kravitz to see if he could pitch [Lavender Haze] to Swift, who loved it immediately. She wrote lyrics inspired by a Mad Men scene, numerous tabloid rumors and online gossip about her relationship status, and “1950s expectations.” “When Jack brought us in the hear for the first time, all our mouths dropped. She took it to a whole new world and made it her own. She created different pockets we did not hear.”

Glitch: Early 2022 (Speculation)

Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: "Glitch,” one of the bonus songs on the Midnights (3am) edition, was born from the same studio session as “Lavender Haze.” I don't know if this means the instrumentals to Lavender Haze and Glitch were done in the same session, Taylor wrote the lyrics in the same session, or both. For the same reason as Lavender Haze, I lean towards this coming later in the process, as well as Glitch mentioning being together for six years, and in November 2021 Taylor and Joe had been together for a little over 5 years. That being said, Taylor could've assume the album was going to come out in 2022, and that she would stay with Joe until then, and bump up that date a bit. It's still very up in the air.

February 5, 2022: Taylor is photographed leaving Jack's house holding a keyboard.

Sweet Nothing: Spring 2022 (Inferring)

Joe is a co-write on this, meaning they likely wrote it after he got back from filming. It also mentions their trip to Ireland in 2021 and refers to it as "last July", implying it was written in 2022. While I was writing this timeline Taylor liked this post on twitter, implying that at least the second verse is in reference to Paul and Linda McCartney. The quote is from his poem Blessed, which you can read in this interview (TWs for death and cancer)

Bigger Than The Whole Sky: March 2022 (Inferring)

Claire Winter, a close friend of Taylor's, posts on Instagram that she miscarried. (I toyed with whether or not to add this, but seeing as Claire Winter made the information public herself, I decided to put it in. If she ever takes that Instagram post down, let me know and I'll delete this part.)

Snow on the Beach: April 1, 2022 (Inferring)

On April 1, Lana Del Rey posts a video on Instagram of Jack in the studio with an unidentified female voice in the background. Two days later she posts this photo, which Taylor and Jack both include in posts about Midnights/Snow on the Beach. Lana: Well, first of all, I had no idea I was the only feature [on that song]. Had I known, I would have sung the entire second verse like she wanted. My job as a feature on a big artist’s album is to make sure I help add to the production of the song, so I was more focused on the production. She was very adamant that she wanted me to be on the album, and I really liked that song. I thought it was nice to be able to bridge that world, since Jack [Antonoff] and I work together and so do Jack and Taylor. Taylor: And with Snow On The Beach, which features the genius Lana Del Rey, very lucky to have collaborated with her on that. And Dylan [O’Brien] was actually in the studio with me and Jack, because a lot of the time we record at his place, and Dylan was just hanging out, drinking wine with us, and listening to stuff, and he was just trying out the drum kit there. He wasn't serious. But we were drinking wine, and we were sort of like, 'We haven't recorded the drums for this one yet! See if you want to...' and he played the drums on the song. Sometimes it just happens like that. (transcript once again from jaimie)

Karma: Spring 2022 (Speculation)

Rolling Stone interview with Sounwave: The bubbly “Karma” came later [than Lavender Haze and Glitch], when Antonoff reached out to Spears for any other ideas he may have to contribute to the album and its synth-pop vision. “‘Karma’ was just a last-minute Hail Mary,” Spears says. “I remembered I was working with my guy Keanu [Beats] and had something that was too perfect not to send to her. As soon as I sent it, Jack was instantly like ‘This is the one. Playing it for Taylor now. We’re going in on it.’ The next day, I heard the final product with her vocals on it.”

April 19, 2022: Elle's interview with the Conversations with Friends cast is released, and when Joe is "asked if he hopes to continue writing songs, Alwyn simply says, “It’s not a plan of mine, no.”" It's possible this means Sweet Nothing was yet to be written, but I think it's more likely Joe was just denying in order to not create hype around a song that wasn't officially announced yet.

May 2022: Taylor teases Labyrinth lyrics in her NYU Commencement Speech and says m i d n i g h t very prominently on this instagram post, meaning by early summer she was likely confident in the album's name and which songs would make the tracklist.

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

#taylor swift #timeline*#wrote this one in a haze with frequent breaks to pace around cause i was shaking so much #so if theres a typo that’s why #as always lmk if you spot a mistake/want further sourcing on anything/etc #AHHHHHH!!!!!

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heartpascal · 11 months

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weight too heavy to hold alone

▹— joel miller x platonic!reader

▹— summary: joel’s life in jackson is much more complicated than he thought it would be

▹— a/n: HEY. im not back just yet but thought i’d drop in to give yall this idk!! just something ive been working on between revision yk. hope you enjoy!

▹— warnings: angst, references to death of a child, references to past trauma (very brief, very vague reference, barely there), comparisons to dead daughter (but IS written as gender neutral i think, just behaviour wise), feeling unwanted and unloved

▹— tags: @auggiesolovey @just-kaylaa @evyiione @lemonlaides @fariylixie0915 @erensloveinterest @dazedshoon @faceache111 @randomhoex @canpillowscry @sleepygraves @pedropascalsrealgf @star-wars-lover @coolchick333 @soobsdior @ilybbg @rvjaa @oliest19xx @pedropepsi @sunflowersdrop @truthfuleeyours

MASTERLIST

howl’s song recs

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It was meant to be a temporary thing, that was what Tommy had told Joel. It was the whole reason he had agreed, the whole reason he had relented to having you in his new home, sharing a room with Ellie just down the hall from his own.

Joel should’ve known, really. His and his brother’s versions of temporary were incredibly different, much like night and day, water and oil, hot and cold. Where Joel’s idea of temporary was a few days, at most, Tommy’s was, apparently, a couple of months. But what could he do? You were already here, already settled in on your side of Ellie’s room, with a mattress upon the floor and the bag filled with your things set beside it.

The first few days, Joel had been so on edge he couldn’t sleep, waiting for the moment Ellie made a peep, made the slightest inclination of being uncomfortable in your presence. He was half waiting for you to full-blown attack the two of them, after all, it wouldn’t have been the first time such things had happened to him and Ellie.

But you never did.

Your presence eventually became so… quiet that it was unnoticeable. You would leave the house before Joel and Ellie even thought about waking up, and would only return when they were either busy eating dinner, or already fast asleep in bed. It seemed like you did your absolute best to avoid the two of them.

It was only when he jumped up from his dozing, hearing the faint murmur of Ellie’s voice down the hall, that he clocked on to your presence again. Perhaps it was wrong, morally, for Joel to have crept down the hallway, shiv clutched in an untrusting hand, but who could’ve blamed him? He had done everything in his power to protect Ellie for a long time, by then. And he’d agree that you were young, that he was too harsh, but he’d already lost a daughter once. He wasn’t keen to go through that again.

The shared laughter was what stopped his hand from reaching towards the doorknob. It was quiet, and suddenly Joel was back in his thirties, listening to Sarah and her friends snicker and whisper in her bedroom, the door slightly ajar just to appease him. It had been nearing midnight, back then, Sarah’s birthday coming to a close, and it had also been the first time he had allowed her to have girls and boys over.

He blinked, and came back to the reality of where he was, of what he was holding, of who was on the other side of the door. Joel had only listened for a moment longer, another shared giggle making the tension slide from his shoulders, and it wasn’t long before he was back in his own room, door ajar, shoving the shiv underneath flannels in a shoddy chest of drawers.

Joel could remember that it wasn’t too long after that night that you had joined him and Ellie for dinner, for the very first time. It had been an awkward affair, and it reminded him of the first few times he and Ellie had shared a proper meal together in their new home. You were vaguely uncomfortable the entire time, shooting Ellie looks that you didn’t know he had noticed. Her only response was a snicker, though Joel would’ve guessed from the thunk underneath the table that you had placed a well-aimed kick against her shin.

Still, after dinner, you spoke to him for one of the first times. There had been the introduction when Tommy had brought you over, of course, but this was willing on your end. “Thank you,” You had told him, though didn’t make eye contact. “For dinner, and well, yeah.”

He had nodded at you, a tense smile on his lips, but it was a friendly gesture. Or, as friendly of a gesture as Joel could muster. He remembers the way you had scurried up the stairs almost immediately after, having stuck around only to help clean up and give your thanks.

You started joining them for dinner more after that, though Joel had the suspicion that the first half a dozen times were at Ellie’s command. But with time, and some patience, you warmed up to him just as you had to Ellie. You spoke more, asked more questions, even cracked a few jokes that he was sure you had gotten from one of Ellie’s books. It surprised him how… relieved he was to see the break in your awkwardness.

It had been the first time Joel had seen you with Tommy outside of when he had dropped you at his and Ellie’s that he realised you had a lot more warming up to do than he had thought. There you were, walking at Tommy’s side, chatting animatedly, hands flying around in gestures, face lit up like Joel had never seen before, and all the while Tommy only shook his head, fond smile on his face. There was a certain warmth on Tommy’s face that Joel had only seen when his little brother had been looking at his newborn child, and he couldn’t help but wonder why he had dropped you off at Joel’s if he felt that way? If he saw you as his own?

He tried to ask him those very questions more than once, but each time he found himself somewhat afraid of the answer he’d receive. Joel knew his little brother had always looked up to him, after all, that tends to happen when you practically raise the kid, but after everything… Joel found that he didn’t think he could live up to Tommy’s expectations of him any longer. Maybe, even if Joel would never admit it out loud, he didn’t want to see Tommy realise he couldn’t live up to the idealised version of himself his little brother saw him as.

It was already hard enough with having Ellie — the weight of everything he had lied to her about was tangible, an iron fence putting distance between the two of them. He tried to ignore it. Ellie did, too, but the truth was that she had lost some amount of trust in him. He saw it in the crease of her brows when they spoke, the slant of her lips when he left for patrol, hell — even in the way her gaze changed when she looked at him. It was like she saw somebody she didn’t quite recognise.

Joel felt like he was fighting a losing battle. He’d steel himself before dinners, he’d harden his features before coming home from patrols, he’d even lock himself in his little studio. And yet each time he saw you, there was an unmistakeable softness brought to his features, reminiscent of how it felt to look at Ellie. Each time you would come to him for help, he’d remind himself that he couldn’t be the person that everybody needed him to be. He’d remind himself that he would never — could never — be the person you so clearly wanted him to be.

Because it was more than obvious. Joel wasn’t blind, even if his sight wasn’t what it used to be. He could see it in the way you looked to him for help, in the way you’d heed his advice like you never doubted he could be wrong about something. It was clear in the way you looked at him, like he had the ability to carve the world into whatever he desired, like he possessed a strength you didn’t. You looked at him as if he could save you, and the truth was that Joel couldn’t even save himself.

He was an old man, a foolish man. Joel drowned in guilt he had brought upon himself, liquid a kind of heaviness that settled into his aged lungs. When he looked at you, he saw Sarah. He saw the resemblance in the way the both of you looked out for him — where Sarah had often cooked breakfast, you scraped together some form of dinner when he was on a late patrol, where Sarah had forced vitamin-rich drinks into his hand, you placed painkillers — that must’ve cost a fortune to trade for — on the kitchen counter when he hurt his knee on a patrol. He saw it in the way you looked up to him, the way you believed in him, and it’s like a mirror image of the night his life went to ruin. A reflection of his daughter dying in his arms each time you looked to him for safety.

What could he provide? What could Joel provide that Tommy couldn’t? Hell — that anybody couldn’t? Perhaps, he wondered, the guarantee of disappointment.

“So,” Tommy started one night, sat by his side at the small bar in town, eyebrows raised as he held a glass of twenty-two year old bourbon. “How’s life with the kid? Handlin’ two kids?”

Joel vividly remembers his response, despite his lowered tolerance for alcohol and the multitude of glasses he’d had that night. “You ever gonna get that kid a new place? Not my responsibility to look after your goddamn strays, y’know.” His voice had been gruff, harsh. He thinks, looking back on it, that it digs the pit of regret in his stomach deeper.

“They givin’ you trouble, or something?” Tommy had asked, all furrowed eyebrows then, an expression of something close to disbelief on his face. “Been a good kid, as long as I’ve known ‘em.”

“They’re a good kid, alright, just not my kid.” Joel had replied, scornfully. It was a low blow, he knew now, but he could remember the pounding in his chest, blood rushing through his ears, when he heard you yell out one night. It had been a bad dream, not that you’d admit to it, but Joel was familiar. He could’ve sworn his heart was going to stop that night, the way adrenaline rushed through him, the way he had leaped from his bed as if expecting to have to defend you and Ellie from an onslaught of attackers.

Tommy scoffed in response, and he had averted his eyes, looking away from his older brother as he took a sip of the alcohol that was warming his veins. “Y’know what? I’ll get ‘em a new place, and when it breaks their goddamn heart, I’ll let ‘em know the reason why you wanted them out. Not my kid.” Tommy had shaken his head, and had bid him goodnight soon after. Joel remembers drowning the sting the conversation left him with using decades-old booze.

Now, Joel can pretty confidently say that Tommy hadn’t been looking to get you a new place until that conversation. It wasn’t more than a few weeks after that that you came home with a frown marred across your face, returning much later from canteen-duty than usual. He had been walking to the hall to grab his boots when you had gotten in.

Your expression had only deepened further as you practically stomped into the house, kicking your unlaced boots off in the hallway. “You alright, kiddo?” Joel had asked, brows creased, and he remembers the way the movement reminded him of his younger brother.

“’M fine.” You had muttered out, all stormy expression and blunt words. Joel only tilted his head at you. “Tommy stopped by, said they’re gettin’ me a new place across town. Nearby the school.” You had told him, and your expression was almost hopeful as you waited for his response.

“Oh,” Joel had uttered, expression blank for a moment as he nodded his head, almost mindlessly. “Well, that’s good, right?” He responded, eyes studying you almost cautiously. If he hadn’t been looking, he probably would’ve missed the way your face dropped at his response, as if you had been hoping for him to say something else. Instead, you had let out a quiet scoff, before stomping away with a ‘sure’ said lamely back to him. Joel had looked after you, face plastered with confusion, but his mind had known, even back then, the reason for your disdain. Instead of going after you, of saying anything more on the matter, Joel had foolishly just wiped a hand across his face, and had murmured, “Teenagers.”

For the days after that, you seemed withdrawn but hopeful, as if Joel would finally voice what you had been waiting to hear. He didn’t see much of Ellie, who had made more friends her own age, including some girls named Dina and Cat. Apparently, you weren’t in on that friendship. Which had left you at the house with him, the crease between your brows getting deeper each time things remained silent.

Still, Joel was firm. This was what was meant to happen all along. You were never meant to be a permanent fixture of their lives.

So when the day was finally upon them, Joel accompanied you and his younger brother to your new place, carrying your backpack over one of his shoulders. He had tried to ignore the itchy, uncomfortable feeling in his chest.

“It’s a nice place.” Joel had commented, when the silence stretched for far too long, looking around the studio-like bungalow. It was a converted garage, much like what Ellie was going to have in his back yard, whenever the team could help Joel finish converting it. He was almost surprised when Tommy brought them here, however. For whatever reason, Joel hadn’t thought about the fact that you’d be living alone.

“Yeah, it’s great.” You responded flatly, picking at the cover on what was meant to be your new bed almost absently. Joel dropped your backpack beside the door, nodding his head as he took it all in. You tried not to scoff. “You know Joel, I think it’d be better for me to settle in. Alone.” You said, voice just a step away from miserable, expression blank as you looked at him, at the way he nodded his head, seemingly resigned to this conclusion.

“Sure thing, kid.” Joel sighed out, looking back in when he was stood in the doorway. He tapped his knuckles against the doorframe, opening his mouth to say something, but stopping before anything came out. Instead, he had just nodded, leaving with his hands in his pockets.

He returned to a quiet house, Ellie once again somewhere in town with Dina and Cat, having missed your moving day. Joel quickly found that the silence, the emptiness in the house, was uncomfortable. He hadn’t truly realised just how used to your presence he had gotten. Still, this was for the best. Joel didn’t need another kid on his hands. He’d failed more than once, and that was telling enough. He still couldn’t figure out why Tommy had brought you to him in the first place!

Joel didn’t see you for two days afterwards, though he had asked about you, cornering Tommy and demanding to know how you were settling in. It was unsettling when Tommy had only shrugged, expression harsh and unforgiving.

When he finally did see you again, it was at the Tipsy Bison, where he was sipping at amber liquid, waiting for his younger brother to finish talking to someone down the other end of the bar. “Joel!” You called out, immediately drawing his attention. He stood from the stool he had been sat on, brows creased in concern, drink abandoned on the wooden bar top.

“Everythin’ alright?” He asked, confused and concerned all at once.

“No!” You yelled immediately, seemingly outraged by his question, your features practically collapsing in on themselves. You pointed an accusatory finger at him, and he didn’t miss the way your hands trembled. “You asked them to move me!” You accused, and Joel quickly realised that this was the first time he had seen you outwardly upset. Every other time, your expression had been made of stone, voice cautiously flat. Now, here, your features were like clay, looking as if you had reshaped them over and over, trying to resist the slant of sadness that took over them. There was a distinctive gloss across your eyes, shining and trembling as you tried to force the tears away. “Admit it, Joel! You wanted me gone and you didn’t have the guts to tell me.”

Joel sighed, rubbing his fingers across his brows, pinching at the bridge of his nose. He glared across the bar at where Tommy was observing, false innocence on his face. He was quick to notice that Tommy wasn’t the only one watching, eyes on the two of you as you waited for his response expectantly. “Kid, it was always a temporary thing. You knew that.” He said, hands on his hips as he shifted his stance.

Clearly, that wasn’t the response you wanted to hear, your features falling further, crumpling downwards, and Joel frowned. “It’s not fair.” You said, voice breaking off halfway through, and you swiped your sleeve across your nose, rubbing tears away from your eyes with your fingertips.

“Life ain’t fair, kid, that’s the truth of it.” Joel responded, looking at your face as if your expression held answers to a question he hadn’t asked. “I’m sorry. But you got your own life now, your own place, you can live however you want. Doesn’t sound like a bad deal to me.”

“I don’t want any of it.” You told him, brows furrowed, the crease between them so deep that Joel was sure it was going to become a permanent fixture of your face. His own frown deepened when you blinked and tears marred your cheeks. “It’s not fair,” You repeated, hand outstretched as if you were reaching for him. “Why do I have to be alone?” You asked, and Joel’s face fell, clearly not expecting that question.

Tommy chose that moment to intervene, stepping in between you and Joel, glancing back at his older brother before focusing his full attention on you. He murmured words that Joel could only presume were reassurance. Joel noticed Tommy’s guiding hand on your shoulder as he led you out of the bar, neither of you glancing back. He ignored the stares on him as he turned back to the bar, finished his drink, and left, going home.

He encountered the two of you just down the street, sharing quiet words that seemed harsh even from a distance. Joel thought about turning back, but found himself approaching cautiously.

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel repeated his earlier question, hands outstretched when the two of you turned to him, the setting sun throwing a shade of orange across both of your faces. You openly glared at him, eyes squinted in a show of unrelenting anger, or maybe, more accurately, hurt.

“Go back inside, Joel.” Tommy told him, sounding nothing short of exasperated between dealing with you and dealing with Joel. He sounded tired, too. “Better yet, go home!”

“Listen,” Joel sighed, trying to reach some form of a truce. You cut him off when he opened his mouth to continue.

“No, Joel, Tommy’s right. Go home. I’ve heard enough.” You said, almost scoldingly, and Joel felt as if he was talking to Sarah again, as if it was her telling him off for something. He tried not to think of that last night, of the cake he’d forgotten, of the watch she’d gifted him, but a glance down it said watch reminded him of his failures. “I’m not your kid, remember?” You reminded him, throwing the words he’d said to his brother back in his face. At least this time, Tommy had the idea to look somewhat guilty for telling you that tidbit of information.

Joel frowned at you, cursing himself for his past words. He didn’t want to hurt you. Hell, that was the whole reason he wanted you gone! Joel was trying to protect you from him, from his inevitable failure. He had never really considered that perhaps this was his failure, that perhaps isolating you to a garage apartment on the other side of town was him failing you.

You stared at him, feeling that bricked up wall around your heart reforming, a promise in the back of your mind forming, a promise that said you wouldn’t let yourself be hurt again. “Go home.” You repeated, the words bitter on your tongue, a thought so sharp in your mind appearing that you physically flinched. Why couldn’t Joel understand? He was the only semblance of home you’d ever had, and he had taken that way from you. You thought that for once, you had found somewhere that you belonged, that you had found people who wanted you around, but you were wrong. Nobody wanted you around. At least that much was clear, at least you could be sure about that one thing.

When you had gone to Tommy all those months ago, your chest empty, tears staining your face, you hadn’t trusted his promise that Joel and Ellie would be good for you. You had been so determined to prove him wrong that you had avoided them, had fled the house more than once just to stay away from the two of them. It was horrible, at the start, it was suffocating. Living in a home that wasn’t yours, intruding on a father who wasn’t your own, a daughter who could never be your sister. To begin with, it had been the most isolated you had ever felt.

Up until that night that it all changed, where you and Ellie had laughed until you cried, sharing jokes and stories just to make one another laugh. It had taken a deeper turn from there, to sharing your experiences in the world that strived to end you. You told Ellie things that you had never told anyone, not even Tommy, certainly not Joel, and she had trusted you with things from her journey with Joel in return. Her voice was coloured with warmth when she spoke of him, though it got more despondent when she got to more recent events. Still, it was that very warmth that eventually caused you to relent to her dinner requests.

And then, finally, you had taken to joining them for dinner without being prompted.

You can remember speaking to Tommy about the two of them, about how things had started looking up, about how he may have been right about Joel and Ellie being good for you. Hell, you can remember seeing Joel from the corner of your eye as you told Tommy about becoming closer to Ellie, about a story she had told you.

Now, you wish Tommy would’ve just left you in the state you were pre-Joel and Ellie, because it would have been better than this. It was an all-encompassing ache that surpassed being purely physical. It bled poison deep into your soul, like acid crumbling the pieces of happiness that had begun to sew back together. It hurt. At least before, you knew that the pain wasn’t your fault, that it couldn’t have been. This pain, however, came from your very roots. You had been unequivocally you whilst with Joel and Ellie, and it had come back to bite you. You can’t help but wonder if, just maybe, you had kept to yourself, if you hadn’t immersed yourself in a life that didn’t belong to you, you would’ve avoided this pain. Because the reason Joel kicked you out was because it was you. That was the only explanation. After all, he kept Ellie around, and she wasn’t his kid in the same way you weren’t.

“Kid…”

“I’m not your kid, Joel. Go home and leave me alone. I don’t wanna say it again.” You responded, firm, voice bordering on trembling. Joel watched, with some amount of confusion, as you turned to Tommy, bearing your teeth at him like it would push him away. “I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you.”

Tommy flinched as if the words were a physical blow, and you missed the betrayed look he gave Joel as you stormed away, walking with purpose towards your garage apartment, where you lived alone. Always alone. From this experience, you could safely say you were ready for it to stay that way.

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wheresarizona · 3 months

Note

giiiirl if you say Cielito is bi in your mind now I need to know if she like came out to Javi or how she approached the topic like was she scared of how he was going to react? I need to know everything pleeeease

Brunettes

summary: Javier asks a question you aren't expecting.

rating: T (coming out, language, Javi's continued hate of Harrison Ford)

pairing: Javier Peña/bi!reader

words: 793

a/n: Okay, okay, okay, I’ll tell you my bi!Cielito coming out headcanon. Now, again, this is just how I imagine things would go down. So, Javi figures it out on his own. Lmao I've written you a drabble on how the conversation would go. I hope you enjoy!

Thank you for reading! Comments and reblogs feed me. I’d love to know what you thought!

Series Masterlist

It was a lazy Saturday afternoon that was being spent in your underwear and an oversized t-shirt as you lay atop your boyfriend’s bare chest on the couch. Your ear was to his skin, and you were soothed by his heart's strong, steady beat while you watched some romantic comedy playing on cable.

“She’s so fucking gorgeous,” you said without thinking—you were pretty sure the actress’s name was Salma Hayek.

“I guess.”

You moved to look at his face.

“You guess? Do you have eyes?”

He looked at you with a frown.

“Yeah, I do have eyes, and I think you’re even more gorgeous.”

You scoffed. “Yeah, right.”

He pinched your ass, and your body tensed. “Stop that shit—I’m serious.”

You sighed, having a hard time believing he was telling the truth. “Fine.”

He grabbed a handful of your backside, and you both went back to lying on him and watching the movie.

A few minutes later, he broke the silence. “Cielito?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m gonna ask you something, and you don’t have to answer. I’m just curious.”

“Okay…?”

“Are you… also attracted to women?”

The question had your heart rate speeding up.

“Um, wow, we probably should’ve talked about this sooner. I mean, we’ve been together for almost a month.”

It wasn’t something you’d been hiding from him. You just hadn’t known how to bring it up.

“Your answer isn’t going to change anything,” he reassured.

That made you feel better.

“It wouldn’t bother you?”

“Why would it bother me? I don’t care if you’re attracted to men or women. All I care about is that you’re attracted to me.”

“I’m definitely attracted to you.”

“I know.”

“And yes, I do fancy ladies and dudes—I had a lot of fun in college. What gave me away?”

“You mean besides when we watched Star Wars last week, and you thought I didn’t hear you whisper, ‘I’d love to be the middle in a Han and Leia sandwich’?”

“Oh, god, I’ve been obvious,” you said, pressing your forehead to his chest.

He rubbed his hands over your back. “Yeah, you have.”

You frowned, lifting your head to look at him. “You must hate it when I say someone else is attractive.”

He met your eyes with a raised eyebrow. “Are you gonna fuck them?”

“What? No.”

“Are you gonna leave me for them?”

“No. It’s never even crossed my mind.”

“You can’t help if you find other people attractive—so no, I don’t hate it.”

“Good—”

“—Unless,” he cut you off with a grumpy look, “it’s that asshole who plays Han Solo, ‘cause I’m pretty sure you have a crush on him with how many of his fucking movies you’ve seen and all the shit you know about him.”

“Harrison Ford?”

“Fucking Harrison Ford.”

“Are you… jealous of Harrison Ford…?”

“No,” he answered a little too quickly.

“Sure, Javi,” you said in a tone that said you didn’t believe him.

“I’m not fucking jealous.” He smacked your ass, and you laughed. “He should be jealous that I’m the only one who gets to fuck you.”

“See—then there’s no reason to hate the guy since I’m dating you and only want you.” Leaning forward, you kissed him. You pulled back and asked, “Is it just because he’s a man it bothers you so much I like him? Or would you feel the same if it was a woman?”

He was pouting. “I’d feel the same…”

“Good.” You kissed the tip of his nose.

“Is there a famous woman you like as much as that Ford guy?”

“Oh, I’m gonna let you figure that out on your own since you’ve got that big, sexy brain, and I wanna see if you can.”

You could see him thinking hard as he looked away with his eyes a little squinted.

“Are you really trying to figure it out right this second?” you asked.

“Hold on.”

“You’re not gonna figure it out a minute after asking the question.”

“There’s this actress,” he started, “I’ve noticed in a bunch of shit we’ve watched I thought might be your favorite, but I’m realizing you’ve just got a thing for brunettes.” He looked at you. “I don’t know her name, but I’m pretty sure it’s the woman in that movie we watched Thursday night.”

Your mouth fell open. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“Am I right?”

“I’m just so fucking obvious.”

“Yeah, you are.”

“You wanna know who I have the biggest fucking crush on?”

He frowned. “…sure.”

“This amazingly perfect guy named Javier Peña who has me head over heels for him.”

He smiled. “Yeah?”

“Oh, yeah—“ You leaned forward to kiss him, continuing to speak against his lips, “—I’d pick you over the other two in a heartbeat.”

“Good.”

Series Masterlist

#pedro pascal #Javier Peña #Javier Peña/reader #Javier Peña x reader #Javier Peña x you #wheresarizona writes #learning to live series

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zonigiri · 1 year

Text

𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐈 𝐃𝐎 𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐔𝐑𝐄

pairing: wano!zoro x reader

summary: unfortunately, you have a crush on zoro and zoro is in love with someone else and so, cue: pining (or so you think)

wc: 3.3k

cw: fluff + reader smokes + potentially inaccurate wano arc details because I haven’t caught up with the manga but i had to get this out sorry!!

a/n: i had to get this out of my head and i haven’t written anything in a while and so reqs/ideas/feedback on asks are welcome!

Clinking glasses, boisterous laughter and sounds of revelry filled the air. The kingdom of Wano was celebrating the end of Kaido’s reign and of the ill-famed prophecy coming to fruition after two long decades. As always, your crew was in the centre of the limelight. Luffy was predictably surrounded by piles of empty plates on one side and plates loaded with food on the other. Ussopp and Chopper were merry-making, Robin, Nami and Franky were engaged in conversation with Yamato-kun and Tsuru-san, Brook was playing with some children and you couldn’t see Sanji anywhere. Probably escorting some damsel in distress somewhere, was your best bet. And in a corner of the room, surrounded by Kin’e’mon, Duke Dogstorm and Cat Viper was Zoro – all of them going through barrels of sake like running water. With the burden of Kaido off everyone’s shoulders, everyone felt lighter, freer. So why was there a heaviness in your heart?

You excused yourself from the people around you and you went outside the room to take a deep breath. Maybe looking at the stars would remind you again how insignificant your troubles were. You chastised yourself for feeling the way you did when there were people that had lost their loved ones in the war and in the years preceding it, and once again you wished that matters of the heart could be reigned over by logic. You’d carried a thing of sake with you and there were strains of faint music coming in from somewhere and so you took unladylike sips while staring up at the stars in the sky, willing all other thoughts out of your brain.

“Oi, what are you doing out here?,” a familiar gruff voice rang out behind you. Jolted out of your thoughts and nearly choking on the sake, your eyes widened as you turned around to find Zoro. However, before you could get a word in, he spoke again, and your chest felt heavy again.

“Shitty-cook was looking for you.” Oh. It was probably too much to have expected Zoro to notice your absence and come find out in the middle of a banquet with free-flowing sake. You should’ve known better.

As if right on cue, another familiar voice filled with half-hearted anger and pure annoyance called out from a distance. “Oi Marimo, where the hell have you been? Hiyori-chan’s been looking for you all night, how dare you keep a lady waiting?” Your heart lurched again hearing Hiyori’s name and as Zoro turned around to face Sanji, Sanji spotted you. His tone changed immediately as he called out to you this time, sweetly and with no trace of earlier frustration, “Hellooo YN-chan, didn’t see you there! Are you enjoying the party? Was mosshead over here, bothering you?”

“Haaa?!”

You let out a little laugh and a wave, with a smile you hoped was convincing enough, the same time as Zoro let out an accusatory curse.

“Hey, Sanji! I’m alright thanks, I was looking for you actually. Can I have a cigarette?”

“Of course, anything for you!” Sanji trips over himself trying to get out his pack of cigarettes and insists on lighting it for you. Having completed it, he turns around to see Zoro still standing there, staring at the two of you. “You stupid Marimo, didn’t I tell you Hiyori-chan’s waiting for you? Don’t you have any manners? I can’t believe she would pick you over me. She’s the most beautiful woman in the whole country, why would she even want a brute like you?! Don’t keep her waiting, you ill-mannered animal!” Sanji all but kicks Zoro, as if sending him flying to Hiyori’s feet might make up for however long she’s been waiting. For a second it looks like Zoro and Sanji are going to butt heads for the nth time but Zoro simply twists his face into a scowl, decides against it and walks off, grumbling under his breath. You turn back to rest your elbows on the parapet as you watch the smoke billow away into the night sky.

“So, Zoro and Hiyori, huh?,” you say with a little laugh.

Sanji lets out a scoff, takes a drag as if to compose himself, and then speaks, “Can you believe it?”

You don’t answer him and the two of you finish your cigarettes in silence afterwards. You offer Sanji your remaining sake and he graciously accepts. The two of you walk back to the banquet hall and instinctively your eyes scan the room for Zoro – he is nowhere to be found. And then, cautiously and against your best interests, you scan the room for Hiyori – she is nowhere to be found either. You can feel the bile rising in your chest as you scan the room a third time, this time for signs of either of them, but nothing. Putting two plus two together, you walk into the room with a heavier heart than you’d left. Walking over to the banquet table, you grab two bottles of sake and go join the group nearest to you. Chopper was putting chopsticks up his nose and the entire group was in splits – it was easy to pretend you were having fun too.

Back on the ship, you try your best to give Zoro as wide a berth as possible and hope it goes unnoticed. In your defense, it’s nothing obvious – it’s not like you’re walking the other way when you see him. You didn’t really want to either. Your heart might have been hurting but even then, you couldn’t deny how good he looked doing push-ups on the deck of the Sunny. Well into his 500’s, brazenly shirtless, and sweat glistening like molten gold on his brown skin in the sunlight. Had you not been bothered about giving him some space, you likely would’ve been staring at him shamelessly and Robin would’ve passed a cheeky comment about flies going into your open mouth. With a heavy sigh, and a slightly heavier heart, you go back to the book you were reading.

Days pass like this, with you toeing a thin line doing your best to keep your distance while trying to not make it obvious to anyone. This was just a passing crush and from past experience you’d learned that the best, and probably only way, to deal with it was to bide your time and let it fade away on its own. You only wondered how long it would take this time, because there was a limit to the pangs of pain you could tolerate.

You were sitting in the crow’s nest, knees to your chest and cradling the book you were reading when a movement drew your attention to the door. Zoro walked in with weights and set them down on the floor next to you.

“Should I- do you need the room?” you asked getting ready to get up, hoping simultaneously he’d say yes and no to appease the two splits your heart was in.

“Stay,” he grunted under his breath and he turned around and began setting up his equipment.

Long ago the two of you had come to an agreement to tolerate, and allow, only each other in this little sacred space the two of you had managed to create for yourselves on the Sunny. You reading in silence while Zoro worked out nearby was a near-natural occurrence for the two of you and naturally it often led to small talk, casual conversation and eventually playful banter. You’d spent nights up here on watch, drinking from the secret alcohol stash that Zoro and you had hidden away underneath the floorboards. The more you thought about all the memories you have of the two of you in the room where you were, the more the awkwardness of the present moment was stifling, closing in your heart and squeezing it in desperation. It was too far gone now, there was no escape. If you left now, it would make it even more obvious so all you could hope for was that Zoro hadn’t noticed anything out of the ordinary. Although with the way you’d tried to leave earlier… Zoro was an idiot but unfortunately, the bastard could be observant when he wanted to. It was all you could do to stare into the book in your hands, boring your eyes into the words on the page and registering none of them.

Wordlessly you slid back into place, watching him curiously as he arranged the weights on the racks with his back to you. Thanks to your efforts, you had never been alone with him ever since you’d left Wano. You’d made it a point to always stay on the deck, with others in company and sight, to prevent yourself from the exact situation that you were in right now. You knew Zoro liked to train in the crow’s nest, but it was also your favourite place to read a book for similar reasons – it was quiet and far away from the chaos that the deck was almost always prone to.

Speaking of the devil, Zoro's voice cuts through the room, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Dunno, you’ve seemed a little out of it ever since we left Wano.”

“What do you mean?”

“You know, we haven’t- you haven’t come up to the crow’s nest to read or anything,”

“Oh.” Your heart flutters a little at the fact that he noticed, but the rational part of your brain shuts it down. That’s what a friend does. He cares about you, just not the way you do about him. “I uh- I wanted to give you some space.”

It was Zoro’s turn to look confused. “Hah? Why?”

“I thought you might need some time to get over….” your voice dies down as the confusion in Zoro’s eyes increases. “Get over what?” The pure obliviousness almost makes you question yourself but for the sake of your sanity, you decide to press on. “Over Okiku-san?” you say softly. You see his eyes soften at the mention of her name.

“Oh. Yeah, I visited her grave with Kin’e’mon before we left.” You nodded understandingly. “If that’s what you’re worried about, I’m fine.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Miss her? I only knew her for a week.”

“Then… do you miss Hiyori-san?”

“Haaah?! How do you know about that? Did someone tell you? I bet it was Brook he has awful fucking timing. Just like that morning….” Zoro grumbled under his breath.

Your heart sinks a little as you recall he’s referring to the night that they slept together. You remember feeling devastated when Brook was telling you and Nami and you had to do everything in your power to act like it was scandalizing gossip and not like it felt like your heart was like a rock dropping rapidly into the sea. And it was happening again.

“No one told me, I just… guessed. I’m sorry,” you say softly, trying to stop tears from falling.

“What for?”

“It must suck to leave someone you love behind.” A pause and then you offered honestly, “I don’t know if I could do it.”

“Who did I leave behind?”

“Hiyori-san?”

You could see the gears in his brain turning as he tried to put the pieces together, “And who do I love?”

“Hiyori-san….?”

“Where the hell did you get that from?!”

“From you?!" Zoro continued to stare at you like you were spouting nonsense and so you added in your defense, "I thought she confessed to you on the night of the banquet!”

“She did,” but before you could say anything Zoro spoke again, "But I turned her down.”

“Oh. So it was Okiku-chan then?”

“Haaa?! Where are you getting any of this from?! You’ve been acting strangely ever since we left Wano and now you keep fuckin’ talking about me being with people I haven’t ever thought about that way. Do you think I’m like ero-cook over there, who falls in love with every single girl he meets? Is that really what you think of me?”

“No,” you whisper, tears threatening to spill any moment now. You’d never seen Zoro this annoyed, and never at you. Zoro turns around and starts putting his weights back, his back to you. “Forget it, I just wanted to see if you’re okay but I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

Your heart sank to your knees and all the arguments you'd been using to not confess to him suddenly fell away. All that was left was your need to explain to Zoro that you'd never meant to piss him off, only to try and know who he liked because you liked him. You spoke before you realized you were doing it, and before you knew it the words had already left your wobbly lips in a shaky whisper.

“Zoro, I’m sorry. I like you.”

Hearing your trembling voice, Zoro turned around and walked over to stand a few steps away from you. You could feel his eyes on you and you’re sure he had questions, but you were also sure there were tears in your eyes; and so you were staring holes into the ground because the last thing you wanted now was for Zoro to see you cry.

Zoro’s voice was softer when he spoke, “I like you too. Are you alright? You know you can talk to me if something’s bothering you, right?” He didn’t know what was going on and your sudden change in behaviour only confused him even further.

Incredulous, you looked up to face him, brimming tears now forgotten. You wondered if you should let it pass since your tortured confession was wildly misunderstood by the swordsman who really had moss for brains at times but now that you’d come out and said it, you figured you might as well get it over and done with. It had taken you months to get this far, and the part of you that was sick playing pretend just wanted to let it all go to flames and see where the pieces fell in the aftermath. You weren’t sure if you could handle another day of acting like Zoro was just a friend to you and another night of going to bed wondering what it would be like if you had the courage to tell him how you felt.

“Zoro no, I like you," gathering courage you started tentatively with a shaky breath and hoped that this time the confession would go through. "I was, I was upset because Brook told us about Hiyori and you and then Luffy told us about Okiku-san and then she died the night of the fight and then- it was all a lot to process and- and I was jealous. And hurt. And I didn’t know how to handle it so I thought avoiding you would help because I didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry, please don’t be mad at me.”

Your voice went back to a wobbly whisper by the end, and so you missed the way Zoro was looking at you. You’d looked up briefly at some point during your long-winded defense but you'd gone back to the comfort of staring at the ground, talking about this was hard enough. Was it because you'd seen the way Zoro's eyes had widened? Possibly, but you were shaking with nervousness and there was only so much you could admit to on a day when all you were planning to do was finish your book, really. Hearing you talk, his expression had gone through shock, mild distaste at hearing you thought he liked Okiku which immediately changed to a smirk as soon as he heard you say you were jealous. Right now, there was only half a smirk on his face because he was fighting a smile that was threatening to show up.

“Stupid woman, why didn’t you tell me?”

“What?”

“That you liked me." Your head shot up at that and all you could do was stare wordlessly at him as he continued, each next word causing another heartbeat to miss, leaving you with an anxiousness you felt bubbling in the depths of your chest. "Could’ve avoided all these tears if you’d told me earlier. ‘Cause I like you too.”

Your eyes widened hearing him and all of a sudden your brain went blank. All the questions you had for him disappeared and all you could do was look at Zoro wordlessly as he continued to speak.

“I turned Hiyori down because I told her I like someone else, have liked, for a long time now. It’s you, dummy. I like you. Now, will you stop crying? You’re kinda ruining the moment here.”

He gently flicked your forehead and you smacked his arm out of reflex with an offended squawk. A grin broke out on Zoro’s face, “There we go, that’s my girl. Glad to have you back, princess.”

A watery smile made its way onto your face but you were still trying to process what you'd just heard.

“You turned down Hiyori-san… for me? She’s the oiran," your voice faltered as you re-realized the reality.

“Yeah, so?"

"She's the most beautiful girl in all of Wano."

"Yeah well, I think you're prettier." Your eyes widened at his words, tears long halted, as you looked up at him in awe. Like you couldn’t believe the moment you're in is real. Zoro's hands cup your face, his face inches away from yours, as he asks under his breath, "Can I- can I kiss you?"

You nod as if in a daze and you feel his lips on yours immediately afterwards, hungry and hot. His other hand grabs your waist and pulls you closer to him in a single jerk and then he digs his fingers into the skin of your waist, holding you so tight it would've hurt had you been focusing on that instead of drinking his gasps and little groans in. Breaking away from the kiss and looking into Zoro's eyes, you saw a searing look in there that would've buckled your knees had he not been holding you. Tiptoeing, you pressed a shorter, chaste kiss onto his lips and hoped Zoro could feel what you were trying to say: thank you, thank you.

Pulling away, you make yourself comfortable in Zoro's hold, looping your arms around his neck and when you speak there's a twinkle in your eyes, "So… you had a crush on me, huh? That's embarrassing."

"Oi! You said you liked me first!"

You throw your head back and laugh, because yeah he's got you there but you've got him now so you can't be a sore loser. Not today, anyway.

BONUS:

It's late at night and you're lying next to Zoro on the deck, staring up at the sky. The remainder of the day was spent skirting around each other, sharing furtive glances and shy smiles when others weren't looking. Telling others hadn't come up yet but you'd be lying if you said you hadn't been thinking about what this meant for the both of you. With that thought still lingering, you piped up.

"Soo, does this mean we're dating?"

"Nope."

"What?! Why not?" you cried out in indignation and propped yourself up on your elbows to turn to him, offense painted all over your face.

"You still have to ask me out," Zoro pointed out.

"I confessed to you!"

"Exactly, that's why you have to ask me out."

"You-" The logic didn't make any sense but you of all people knew it was futile to argue with Zoro when he'd made up his mind. So you lay back down with a sigh, "Fine. Fine. Roronoa Zoro, will you be my boyfriend?"

You turn to him after you finish your question, staring into his eyes with only a slight glare, loving annoyance pricking your tone but you both know it's harmless. Zoro matches your stare with his own and doesn't speak but leans in closer towards you to close the gap with a kiss he hopes answers your question: a resounding yes. But just in case you hadn't received the message, he mumbles it softly against your lips, "You have no idea how long I've been waiting to say yes."

#zoro x reader #roronoa zoro x reader #one piece x reader #zoro x yn #roronoa zoro x yn #zoro fluff #roronoa zoro fluff #one piece fluff #one piece x yn #t.writes #roronoa zoro

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llittletingoddess · 3 months

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WHERE THE WILD ROSES GROW 🥀

«When the night comes, the stars begin to shine and the greatest crimes begin to come into life»

part 1 of multiply

°•○ warnings: age gap, slow burn, original character, cursing, smoking, drinking, mentions of death, mentions of murder, mentions of abduction, manipulation, abuse, national hate, politics mention, discrimination

°•○ Note from Author: Here it is, my first-ever work that was written on English! I'm so excited to finally share it with you all. This was a spontaneous idea but it came out so good so far! I'm really can't wait to show you what I'm cooking for the final, and truthfully - you've already seen a spoiler, but shh! Hope you will enjoy this very first piece I did, and I promise - I won't forget about updating it! Have fun and leave your comment if you'll like the text! I love you all <3

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

1. From The Start

Los Angeles, California

Los Angeles.. the city of stars, dreams, fame and lights. The image of the perfect american life as they could tell. Money rivers, cameras, the most popular people are living here, basking in the Californian sun and sipping their thousands dollars-worthy drinks. The perfect picture of a Hollywood life perfectly hid its other side, that Los Angeles tried to hide so desperately.

Los Angeles.. the city of crime, blood, money and murders. When the night comes, the stars begin to shine and the greatest crimes begin to come into life. No one knows who it is, no one knows how deep and long this network is and especially - how to stop it.

And while famous people represent the golden side of the city, its darker side getting their weapons ready to kill them all.

How could you possibly have any agreements with Russia being American in such dark and dangerous times? No one knows. Not the President, not the Government, and not even the Pentagon. But when you have money and the possibility to break the system - surprisingly everything’s possible. Especially when you have friends in the FBI that could easily cover you, one of the best PR managers in the world and the perfect reputation, at least you think so. And even the danger of World War can’t stop money going into your pocket when you are one of the richest people in the world. Actually, it has many advantages.

Living on the golden side of this life was a pleasure. He worked hard for years to get what he was now. Interviews, luxury meetings with the first class people of the world, a place in the Forbes’ lists of the richest, the most influential people of the planet, the prettiest girls to spend nights with, rivers of alcohol, a few yachts and a successful business - his life was perfect. The name of James Hetfield was known and he was so proud of who he has become.

It all started from a small project that should’ve failed on the day of its release. A small network of musical markets that were developed into the biggest music store in the world. James was passionate about music. He loved to play guitar and in his younger days he wanted to have a band to play. But with lots of circumstances this idea was scrapped but not forgotten. Instead, he decided to invest in music. It all started with a small instrument market that had a low percentage of sales. It was meant to die from the start, but everything changed when his markets began to make custom instruments.

And now, decades later, he was the owner of the biggest music market in the world which continued to develop. The network of markets, online-shops, custom salons, music labels - it all came from one passionate idea. Was James proud? Oh hell yeah he was.

James was a good-looking man, though he didn’t think about himself in such a way. Though he was one of the richest people on Earth, he was pretty down to it, and for that he was loved even more and had his perfect reputation he was proud of. No one knew about his connection with the FBI, which he hid so carefully. Though he was in his late fifties, his age wasn’t a problem for him. He was married to one of the most popular models of America, but it was obvious that this marriage had nothing with things they called “love” and “happiness”.

Truthfully, he never was really happy. His parents never supported his passion for music, they never supported him at all. When he said that he’ll start his own music market his father yelled at him for being stupid and investing money in “crap”. If only he could see who his son has become.. Sadly, James’ parents died in a car crash, and that made his persona even more hard-working and cold-hearted.

His latest concept, the music app that gained one billion customers in half a year, was that one project James wanted to move to Russia, avoiding all the sanctions. It was planned to be big! Whilst James’ rivals kept losing their customers, his brand will keep growing. All he left to do was to have a private meeting with Russian investors and sign the deal. Just a touch of the pen and he will create history - getting american dollars from silly Russian people.

The only problem his brand could possibly meet was its own Russian market. Their culture provided the support of motherhood products, and having a new rival on the monopoly would be an experience. He should know what to expect from this opportunity, so now he spends all his days in his office, reading information about the Russian market, its opportunities and advantages. But even though he acted legally, the promo campaign of his app was started way earlier to prepare people for the upcoming sensation. And how he was satisfied when he fooled Russian investors and got the client base from Russia! But now, to avoid all the problems, he needed to make it official. All he saw now is the biggest deal in the history of his brand with perfect terms and conditions and big investments for its development in Russia. Pure perfection.

But James didn’t know that perfection is a lie.

• • •

Moscow, Russia

While everyone thought that Russia is a cold and unfriendly place, Moscow proved that it could greet everyone with some style and grace. Old Soviet buildings mixed with modern skyscrapers, lots of cultural and historical monuments that were slowly fading in the time and nature gave the megapolis some charm that make Russia so popular for foreign tourists. Everyone was curious to see the Kremlin’s House, The Red Square and Lenin's grave. Russia had a lot of story behind it and it definitely had a lot to show to the one who was interested in it.

But she wasn’t.

Modern Russia was different from its big ancestor. Now it looked like an infamous nineties era, with its bands and leaders of all classes, but there was one big difference - now these leaders were one of the world’s biggest mafias, setting their own rules and killing everyone who was against their politics. Russia was a big totalitarian country which despised any western innovations. But more than that, they despised America as their main rival. And their newest position against America worked so damn good for them as a plan to get rid of the western stuff they hated. They thought it influenced their children, doing an american propaganda for the zombified Putin’s nation. And sanctions were the perfect plan for the russification of the youth and the younger generation.

Things got different though when they got a private partnership suggestion from Blackened Ltd, a private American musical brand which was focused on music. A nice business partnership to avoid politics and sanctions, to bring good money to the States and give Russian customers some quality service avoiding sanctions. It was a good idea, right? But the Russian mafia didn’t think so. After a big council meeting with russian musical directors from Yandex and VK it was obvious that the american suggestion was declined. But it turned out that the American businessman wasn’t that easy when Russian services began to lose their audience during the VPN usage for the Blackened App. After some investigation they found out that Blackened Ltd. created a promo campaign that was focused on the russian audience, and it was the point when the unofficial world monopoly war began.

She sat in the crowded carriage, listening to the useless Russian small talks and smirked at how easy life was for them no matter that the country was one leg in a world war. Someone was worried about a gift for his girlfriend, another one shared their opinions about other nations, races and even sexuality of people. Why do they care so much? She didn’t understand why Russians were so cold and mad. She lived there for five years and she felt like she was the slave of the regime. No right to love who you wanna love, you can’t say anything provocative cause you’d be in a prison immediately, and the police officers everywhere she went just made her feel herself tensed. Even if she worked for the first heads of Russia now, it didn’t make her feel less protected when she was just a simple citizen. Even though, she was an American, and this whole nation hated America. They thought that the american nation should die and it didn’t make the situation better.

She was known as “The Wild Rose” for her abilities to plan her murders and her clean work. Every loud political murder was caused by her and she was still untouchable. Police couldn’t find her and when she was almost caught her boss covered her with a big bag of money. They called her one of the best when it came to observation and spying, they called her one of the best when it comes to the murder. And even though she had some serious rivals to contest with, they always rooted for her.

Leah Bennett was a quiet girl from the Florida coast. She was the only child in her family, and somehow, her parents weren’t too joyful with her presence in their family. Her dad was an alcoholic, her mother was an animal. She always said that Leah is not enough, whatever she did - if she did not get the highest grade in the school, if she didn’t take out the trash immediately after her mother told her, if she didn’t help, doing her own business and so much other stuff. Her father yelled and beat her, telling that she would never become a big person and would never do anything good for her family. But she did.

Killing her parents was the first time Leah tried blood in her life. Even though it was spontaneous, she felt a relief when she cut her father’s head in pieces with an axe. Police began an operation to neutralise her, to make her suffer for what she did, and that’s when her journey began. She needed to run away. Leah was hidden within homeless people, fighting for a plate of soup and killing some more people to stay alive. This time she did way better, without witnesses and blood stains on her clothes. When her parents’ story calmed down she came back home, living without electricity to not cause neighbours to call the police again.

She was an average girl - blue eyes, dark curly hair, the type of girl high school boys would like but they never did. Leah was a quiet girl that preferred to stay alone than enjoy big companies of people, reading detectives and showing surprisingly good results in Sports and Maths. If only she knew how these skills will help her in her future..

When she was 18 she was kidnapped by a russian agent and deported to Russia to be trained by the best killers in Russia. At first, Leah did small kills for small money that didn’t make any sense, but the better she became the more she wanted. And that’s how her international fame as “The Wild Rose” began. Leah didn’t know why Russians picked her as their great weapon against the world's biggest money networks, but as long as she was paid and she was safe - she didn’t care.

She missed America though… It was a good moment of nostalgia for her when she had some missions there - from small kill to big, she felt way better being on her own field instead of grey Russia’s panel houses. Her biggest wish was to stay in America and continue her work there, in her Motherland, but Russians always watched her - being an American for them was almost the same thing as being a black man for a white racists. Though they raised her and made her a professional, they didn’t trust Leah - neither did she.

Leah finally left the carriage with a heavy sigh of relief, slowly walking to the place of her destination. She looked at the people and she understood why everyone called Russians the grumpiest nation in the world. Everyone was just so sad, so grumpy and unfriendly that sometimes it made Leah pissed. She had no mood to live and breathe, she felt like a bird in a cage in Russia, and her masters enjoyed it. She put on her earpods and turned on some metal to try and increase her mood. This was the only way for her to set herself on the right wave before her tasks.. This morning she received a message about her newest victim and it was time to find out some more details. Leah begged for it to be some annoying American when she could kill and finally escape her cage. She didn’t know what she would do there - get herself a house? Adopt a cat? Get a lover? It was boring..

Leah knew that she would have some time to think about it on her way to the mission. She put on a smile to annoy some strangers and walked to the headquarters of her bosses. Today she had a big hope for the better…

#🥀#james hetfield fanfiction #james hetfield fanfic #where the wild roses grow #vicky's writings

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flilisskywalker · 1 year

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This is a Mandalorian season 3 finale rant (There might be cursing because I need to vent my frustrations)

Yeah, I really hated the season 3 finale of Mando. It’s the most boring, uninspired poorly directed, written and edited Star Wars in a fucking while. Easily the worst episode of Star Wars television as a fucking whole to me

what the fuck happened

It's sad because I was enjoying this season, but holy shit, for a show that was always good because of its emotional beats, they sure missed a lot of them (Unless your name is Grogu, of course, ops. Din Grogu urghhhhhh). It was so fucking emotionless and fucking anticlimatic.

I have to be honest

I don't care that much about Grogu. “But the show is about him.” He is not the main relationship that Din has in this season! That is Bo-Katan. It's ridiculous how these characters have grown close to each other since the Mines and the writer finds the most emotionless way to reunite them again and split them again and the director just doesn't extract fabulous performances of them as well and the editing just chooses the most uninspired shots.

It fucking bothers me the most is that this show is so concerned with what's coming next that they are forgetting what makes Star Wars so fucking cool: The relationships. Bo-Katan and Din have been saving each other's asses, sharing different perspectives to each other, swearing loyalty and they don't even get a goodbye scene.

“Maybe because they are not saying goodbye.”

BULLSHIT.

It's like you get The Force Awakens with Rey and Finn becoming friends, but without the moment that solidifies the bond from Rey’s part, which is when she says: "We'll see each other again. I believe that. Thank you, my friend." Was it so difficult to have them aknowledging the journey they went through together before they went separate ways? I just don’t get it how you miss such a simple and obvious emotional beat like this.

It doesn’t fucking stop there. Of course.

Bo-Katan does not seem happy at all when she lights up that Forge. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. I WONDER WHY. Could it because a fucking tin man who promised to serve her until her life was over is not fucking there? And people will say “You’re delusional.” No. This woman was flirting with him two episodes ago, she’s been looking at him since the Mines in a way that she does not look at any other Mandalorian (and you all can deny it however you want, but the way Katee is directed in those scenes just don’t lie) and they just make him go away.

You fucking with me? You gotta be fucking with me.

And you think that’s all?

Hmm. Not really.

Ragnar loses his father, who was also clearly the Armorer's favorite son and there’s no reaction, no aknowledgement of his death. Instead we got a whole "take the creed" scene, like, godamnit, have some fucking compassion for crying out loud.

Moff Gideon destroying the darksaber is so awful. It doesn't work as a symbolism because he wanted that thing. It should've been Bo-Katan who destroyed it and that would pay off Din's line about the sword not being what determines who she is as a leader.

Oh and Gideon dies, but not really because we know characters don’t really die in explosions in Star Wars and it’s so. fucking. ridiculous. What a moment this would be if this kill belonged to Bo-Katan. Because... I don’t know, the whole season is about her.

*takes a deep breath*

I fucking hated this episode.

*takes another deep breath*

Wake me up when Din and Bo are a duo again and they are allowed to have their romance.

This finale was so not the fucking Way.

Not even in Star Wars TV. Probably easily my most hated piece of a Star Wars media. “You are a Rise of Skywalker enjoyer.” I AM. Because you know, for all its flaws, at least that films understand emotional bits and this finale just doesn’t.

#the mandalorian #mando season 3 #dinbo #moff gideon #bo-katan kryze x din djarin #din djarin x bo-katan kryze #din x bo-katan #bo-katan x din #din x bo #bo x din #star wars #rant

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barmadumet · 7 months

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Ahsoka Episode 5 Spoilers Below!

Okay, I’m going to do something I never do, and I don’t think ever have done – I’m going to do the “take” thing – put my opinion online. I don’t like to do this, because I feel like there is ALWAYS someone opposed, and I just don’t want any bad energy revolving around my beloved escape from reality.

For the last twenty-two hours, I have been profusely hitting the ❤️s on other posts, jumping up and down and hugging people, and basically just doing the equivalent of shouting, “ANAKIN!!!” but I’ve yet to really try to discuss Episode 5, because, quite frankly, it’s just been too freaking emotional for me! I have all these feelings that I don’t know how to sort out, and I've honestly felt like I could burst into tears at any given moment, all day long. I went through this with the Obi-Wan Kenobi series, and I remember I felt literally insane for a WHILE. Perhaps, I should’ve written something like this back then – writing is my outlet, after all.

So, here we go. . . I don’t have many followers, and I know many people won’t read this, but I just need to get it out!

A couple of weeks ago, my dear friend, Wibz asked me, “What kind of story do you like? What kind of fic do you like to read?” I replied sappy, mushy, hurt/comfort, of course. I told her I like dialogue – dealing with emotional ups and downs - HEALING. I told her I liked fix-its and time travel, and I specifically said I like seeing into ‘what could’ve been’ scenarios, and I mentioned by name the movie, “It’s A Wonderful Life.” And the thing I really love about that movie is the ability to visit the past. I like stories that take us back – and not just as a flashback, but a present character being able to look at their past and reflect. You probably know where this is going by now, but the way we finally got our long-awaited Clone Wars ‘flashback’ couldn’t have been more perfect in my opinion.

And the thing that has made me the most emotional through all of this was simply seeing that first battle in live action. I will admit, upon viewing the first two episodes of Ahsoka, I felt the show might’ve been better presented in Rebels animation. Well, I can now, happily admit I was wrong.

We saw the brutal beginnings of the Clone Wars at the Battle of Geonosis in Attack of the Clones, and we see the heart-breaking conclusion and the end of the war in Revenge of the Sith. My personal opinion is that we have been very fortunate to get a great show about the time in between, however; being short, animated (directed at a younger audience) episodes, there are emotional aspects that are rushed through and not fully explored. If you’ve read my insanely long fix-it fic, then you know that it carries through these Clone Wars episodes that I love so very much, BUT in writing it my own way, I was able to put in all the drama I wanted to see – the breakdowns, the tears, a deeper look into the trauma of fighting in a war. And yes, there have been some amazing Star Wars novels that do this, but again, seeing it in live action. . . seeing just how young Ahsoka really was, seeing her mourn the injured and deceased clones. Having her and Anakin address the fragility of life and getting to hear that conversation about it. . . Now the viewing audience has a grasp on just how bleak this time period was. I didn’t know how bad I needed to see this – a human turned Togruta actor conveying those destroyed expressions and defeated body language. The impact was more than I expected, and it wouldn’t have been the same in animation.

The other super tear-jerky part for me was the theme of ‘Live or Die’ ‘Fight or Die’ . . .I can’t let myself get into too much detail about this, but if you know me, and you know my story, then you know. Great. I’m crying again 🤷🏻‍♀️ This was just such a powerful message for ANYONE struggling in any aspect of their life, and it sincerely helped me to rise another day, and will be a continued reminder, probably for a while.

You all know how much I love Anakin (and Obi-Wan), and so much of the hype is revolved around his character right now, but this personal journey we find Ahsoka on is truly beautiful to me. I was honestly uneasy about the way Ahsoka was portrayed, thus far, in our other series. She didn’t feel like Ahsoka to me. I accepted and understood that her character had been through much in her short life, and that much time had passed since we last saw her and she would've evolved, but overall, I honestly (😬) didn’t much enjoy what we got of her in live action. I kept my expectations for this show at the minimum. I try not to predict what might happen in canon Star Wars, because I never want to set myself up for disappointment. I strive to go in with an open mind and a clear head and just enjoy the show. But I’ll admit, I was hopeful for Ahsoka’s character development in this. . . and so far, I find myself satisfied. It has now been acknowledged how severely Anakin’s turn impacted her – that was a necessity in my opinion, because of course it did. And it’s still unfathomable to me, but I feel like we got to witness her getting her closure with Anakin 😭 At the end of episode 5, I was finally getting the Ahsoka vibes I was longing for. And let’s not ignore just how ’Ahsoka’ she was in the past scenes with Anakin! I was in awe of how her different animated fighting stances over the years translated into live action. It was her! And this is probably a great time to also mention: that was Anakin, too! In the beginning, we saw him on that World Between Worlds walkway training Ahsoka – the orchestrated footwork, the lack of aggression . . . It felt like the Anakin we see in the lightsaber kata training video Ahsoka watches in Rebels! We have not seen this in live action! We have not seen Anakin as a Master to an apprentice! 🥹 And again, I didn’t know how bad I needed that. Later, when we are taken back onto that WBW walkway, we see him fighting like we’ve seen in Revenge of the Sith. It’s Vader! And he’s so pissed and intends to kill! I won’t spend too much time gushing the way most already have – the Sith eyes, the flawless ROTS attire we already loved given back to us, and the Clone Wars look brought to life. . . the hair 😍 Just seeing him, Hayden Anakin, fight in a Clone Wars battle in live action! So strong and mighty 💪🏻 with such determination and sensitivity. . . with just the right amount of cockiness 😉 He’s perfection. And I think this is noncontroversial opinion everyone would agree with lol.

And maybe you do or don’t agree with this part, but I feel Anakin’s appearance was 💯 open to interpretation, and I think that’s GREAT. This character means so much to so many people, and there is never a way to satisfy everyone when it comes to storytelling. Everyone had/has different opinions of how this should’ve been handled. Was Anakin a Force ghost? Was the entire encounter all in Ahsoka’s head? Was Anakin something else entirely? Was he Vader? Maybe you have an answer to this question and you are certain in your theory – that’s awesome. I think that’s the way it should be. We get to “make things the way we want them to be” WITH CANON! 👏🏻 I am not yet certain of what my own theory is. I’ve watched it four times, and I am still processing it all. One thing for sure, I’m glad the WBW was involved. Again, if you know of my preferred way to ‘fix-it’ then you know what that means to me 🥰

I think I’m done 🫣 I just needed to release these feelings! And I feel we are so blessed. I still can’t believe this really happened. And I am so thankful to get to share in the joy with all of you 💖 Okay! I think I’m ready to talk now if y’all want to talk! 🤭

#ahsoka spoilers #a barma take?#that hasn't been done in the history of tumblr #hope you aren't insulted #this is basically a review I guess?#ANAKIN!#FEELINGS!#AHHH!#I love the feelings

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taylorswiftandx · 1 month

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Taylor Swift and Myths/Legends

Note: huge thank you to @meandmypagancrew who assembled the lyrics for this post! This one is very subjective - I ultimately chose to include references specifically relating to the story elements of religion/myth/legend/fantasy/tales, in order to determine what to include here versus what appears on TS and Religious Words/References. TS and Literary References may also be of interest.

'Taylor Swift'

Picture to Burn: State the obvious, I didn’t get my perfect fantasy

'Fearless (Taylor's Version)'

White Horse: I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale

The Best Day: Don’t know if Snow White’s house is near or far away

The Best Day: It’s the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarves

Today Was A Fairytale: Today was a fairytale

'Speak Now (Taylor’s Version)’'

Long Live: I had the time of my life fighting dragons with you

Superman: I watch superman fly away

'Red (Taylor's Version)'

State Of Grace: These are the hands of fate, you’re my Achilles heel

'1989 (Taylor’s Version)'

You Are In Love: You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars

Now That We Don’t Talk: You part the crowd like the Red Sea, don’t even get me started

Suburban Legends: I didn’t come here to make friends, we were born to be suburban legends

Suburban Legends: I had the fantasy that our mismatched star signs would surprise the whole school

'reputation'

I Did Something Bad: They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one

'Lover'

(no myths/legends)

'folklore'

Invisible String: Isn’t it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?

Invisible String: A string that pulled me out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar

Mad Woman: And women like hunting witches too

'evermore'

Willow: As if you were a mythical thing

Champagne Problems: Your Midas touch on the Chevy door

Gold Rush: My mind turns your life into folklore

Ivy: I wish to know the fatal flaw that makes you long to be magnificently cursed

Cowboy Like Me: Now you hang from my lips like the Gardens of Babylon

'Midnights'

Anti-Hero: Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby and I’m a monster on the hill

Labyrinth: Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve: I would’ve stayed on my knees and I damn sure would’ve never danced with the devil at nineteen

Dear Reader: When you aim at the devil, make sure you don’t miss

You’re Losing Me: I’m getting tired, even for a phoenix

Other Songs written by Taylor

Beautiful Ghosts: Is this hope just a mystical dream?

Crazier: I was trying to fly but I couldn’t find wings

Official Alternate Releases

(no myths/legends)

#taylor swift #lyrics #taylorswiftandx #lyric parallels #myths #legends #fantasy #fairytale

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starlightbelle · 5 months

Note

Infinity war death is better because he did it for thor. Tree loki never made amends with thor. Why cwnt loki have both his friends and his brother

Interesting

If you’re asking me if I think he deserves to have both his brother and his friends, then I would respond emphatically: YES

Without question or hesitation.

Loki deserves to live. He deserves happiness and satisfaction. Loki deserves to love, and to be loved in return. He deserves his brother, and he deserves his friends.

Loki’s sacrifice is valid in both. I don’t disagree with you there. But his death was badly written in Infinity War and thus the execution seemed a poor reflection of his character…or at the very least incomplete.

He sacrificed himself for Thor, yes, and that intent is such a worthy sacrifice. But the way Loki’s skills and abilities were so underutilized by the writing did such a disservice to his character.

In reality, Loki is probably more scrappy and definitely more resourceful than that. He’s smart/clever enough to know better than to reveal himself to Thanos without a backup plan (or more).

And Loki would NOT go out without a fight. A real fight. He would use every ounce of his power, every tool in his arsenal, everything remotely at his disposal to do as much damage as he could in what time he had. He would fight and fight and fight even if (and especially if) he knew he had no chance at making it out alive.

Thanos was intended to be menacing but Loki is far stronger than he was given credit for in that scene and his death was used merely as a plot device…they killed Loki off so easily in that opening scene as a way to demonstrate Thanos’ power and establish him as a real threat. That’s all.

They reduced what should’ve been a meaningful sacrifice to save the life of his brother down to a pitiable demonstration of the lengths he’s willing to go to to protect those he loves.

Thor’s life and countless others were at stake and Loki would fight tooth-and-nail to protect Thor’s life. If he knew he would die regardless, Loki would try to inflict whatever impairment he was able to the slow his enemy down or cause them as much of a handicap as he is able.

What I like about LOKI’s ending is how Loki was shown to withstand the time radiation without even the use of a suit. It was reminiscent of Thor taking the full power of a dying star. He’s able to do that because he isn’t human; he’s the only person on that Team (save for Sylvie maybe) who could make that play.

I think the point you’re trying to make is that Loki sacrificing himself for Thor is objectively more impactful to the audience than him saving the multiverse? Because at least that way he showed his brother that he loved/cared for him?

I definitely agree I wish we’d gotten to see Thor and Loki’s story get closure, but I knew having Thor make a cameo on the series was pretty much impossible. It would be more satisfying to fans of the characters to see them reunite/ make amends/ etc.

I don’t disagree. At all.

That’s part of what makes his sacrifice that much more heart-wrenching. It’s very Shakespearean and it’s tragic, and it’s not the happy ending I think Loki deserves…but it is fitting in the sense that Loki chose to sacrifice himself.

He does that a lot, actually. He’s a very self-sacrificial character

Loki’s desire to be loved/have friends/not be alone is constantly at war with his intense passion/ love and need to give and give and GIVE of himself to make that a reality.

It breaks my heart that Loki will never get reconciliation with his brother, that Thor will go on never knowing what happened to his brother, with the last memory of him being the Attack on New York. This hurts, it’s heartbreaking…but despite that, Loki ultimately did make the sacrifice play so those he loved (that includes Thor) would be able to live even if that means never seeing any of them again.

He is incredibly selfless by resigning himself to an eternity of isolation to sustain the lives of those he loves.

Despite the tragic nature of his ending, I think it’s also kind of beautiful.

#loki #loki series #loki spoilers #loki season 2 #that’s my take on it at least #Loki is my favorite Marvel character and so I do have a lot of thoughts on this #so much more than what I’ve written here #but thank you anon #you gave me the opportunity to express some of my thoughts after that emotional finale #as well as some pent-up thoughts I’ve had since Infinity War #MCU #marvel #my post #loki meta #marvel meta

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all-my-worlds-a-stage · 6 months

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Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for tagging me in this @bluespring864 <3

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

42 – the answer to everything.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

206,473

3. What fandoms do you write for?

These days it’s mainly Tatort. And I guess I should also mention Star Trek, even though it’s been a couple of years. And then there’s the odd TV show or movie that somehow piqued my interest, plus stuff like Harry Potter and Sherlock back in the day. But my main fandom, and the one I feel most at home in, is definitely Tatort.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Apart from the number 1 spot, these were actually quite surprising to me.

Past, Present and Beyond: Star Trek: AOS (Post-Star Trek Beyond), Kirk/Spock - Spock retrieves the box that contains the belongings of Ambassador Spock and carefully puts it on his desk.

Über Nacht Bleiben: Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne - Boerne findet, man kann nachts ruhig in einem Bett schlafen. Um nicht so allein zu sein.

Grün und richtiges Grün: Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne - „Das kann Ihnen doch völlig egal sein, mit wem ich…“ Boerne verstummte und starrte ihn aus seinen grünen Augen an. „Ist mir aber nicht egal“, sagte Thiel.

Wenn aus Münster Meer wird: Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne - Es war ein warmer Sommerabend, er hatte hervorragendes Essen vor sich stehen und er saß mit den Menschen an einem Tisch, die er eigentlich am liebsten mochte. Er hätte glücklich sein können. Aber es war ihm alles zu viel. Zu viele Menschen, zu viele Gespräche, zu viele Eindrücke. Und zu viel Boerne. Sie waren doch mal sowas wie Freunde gewesen. Warum hatten sie das kaputt machen müssen?

Late-Night Cravings: Grace and Frankie, Grace/Frankie - “Grace, I want cake!”

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Oh, absolutely. I love reading comments and the least I can do is say thanks when people take the time to write one. It’s also always fun to talk more about an aspect of the fic or a character, and I love when I suddenly find myself talking to people outside of the comment section. Fandom’s supposed to be about community, after all.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I tend to write happy endings. But I guess Manchmal hört sie heimlich zu (Tatort Münster, Wilhelmine Klemm/Monika Hanke-Helmhövel) and In Vino Veritas (Tatort Münster, Thiel/Boerne & Klemm/Krusenstern) have the angstiest endings I’ve ever written. They’re both Hurt No Comfort and Unrequited Love.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I guess, all of my other fics have rather happy endings. I don’t actually think there is a happiest.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Haven’t in ages. As I said, the Tatort fandom is nice <3 But some of the Harry Potter and Sherlock people were… intense. A couple of times people told me a fic was alright, but I should’ve written for another ship, which isn’t hate, of course, but why? And then there was this one time some biphobic asshole complained about me writing a character as bisexual ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do. The explicit kind. Sometimes it serves a purpose in a story, sometimes it’s just for the fun of it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Do crossovers between different Star Trek shows or between different Tatort teams count as proper crossovers? If so, I’ve actually written quite a few of them. If not, then the only ones I’ve written were back in the day with a Harry Potter fandom friend. We used to take our favourite characters from all sorts of media, plus our self-insert OCs and send them off on all kinds of adventures together.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I know that people have used Google Translate in order to read my German language fic for a French movie.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep, see question 10. Also, @fallingforfandoms and I are currently working on a Tatort AU together, which is very exciting.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

I don’t actually know. It varies. But Kirk/Spock, Janeway/Crusher, Thiel/Boerne and Klemm/Lürsen will always be among my favourites.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I’ve got the beginnings of a Star Trek Bake Off AU somewhere. I still love the idea, but right now I can’t really imagine that I will ever continue writing it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Oh boy, maybe my readers would be better at answering this question. I like to think that I’m quite alright at writing dialogue. But maybe that’s because it's what I find most enjoyable and what often comes to me fairly easy.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel that my writing sometimes lacks description or insights into a character between dialogue. And I’m not that good with longer stories. Plotting is hard for those, especially for crime shows, when you want to incorporate the crime aspect. And I am a slow writer.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

If it fits the story, sure. So far, I’ve mainly used dialect rather than a completely different language.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically, Star Trek in 5th grade or so. But I didn’t know that I was writing fanfic or what a fandom even was. First thing I published was for Harry Potter, and first thing I published on AO3 was for Tatort Münster.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I’m bad at choosing favourites. It would depend on my mood, I guess. Right now, if I absolutely had to pick one, I’d probably go with In Vino Veritas, which might be strange, since it’s a rather short one and doesn’t have a happy ending. But I just like it.

Tagging @fallingforfandoms @thotstochter @iiiflow @cornchrunchie and @carlomenzinger if you feel like sharing a bit about your writing.

#tag game #about me #about writing

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oenimo · 8 months

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In honour of the Ahsoka show coming out, I’m coming out of my internet/Tumblr hiatus to write out my feelings, the feelings that caused the hiatus in the first place.

I love Ahsoka as a character. I love Clone Wars.

I love Star Wars Rebels

I want Ezra to come home. To see Hera again. To see Sabine again. Zeb. Chopper. Kallus. Rex.

I want him to meet Jacen

I loved the Mandalorian

I loved the Bad Batch (whitewashing not included)

I loved Book of Boba Fett

But I am terrified of the Ahsoka show

I am terrified at what they are going to do to the characters I love with all my heart. I am terrified of what they are going to do to Sabine. To Ezra. To Hera. To Chopper.

I am terrified they are going to erase Zeb. Terrified they’ll erase the meagre progress we got in the finale, of Kallus and Zeb on Lira San together.

I am terrified that Thrawn is going to be a villain.

“But he is a villain?” I hear you ask. “He was a villain in Rebels? He was the big bad for season 3 and 4?”

He was.

And that’s half the reason I’m scared.

Because I read the books.

Before I read the Thrawn books, Rebels was my favourite piece of Star Wars content/media I’d ever consumed (and I have consumed a metric fuckton of Star Wars). But the two new Thrawn book series beat it out. The new canon ones (Disney canon, if you want to call it that).

I love these books so much that I couldn’t consume any more Star Wars media after them. The live action shows, I could see the hints flooding in, and I have barely a shred of hope left that they won’t take my beloved books and destroy them. By which I mean, destroy Thrawn. This is why I’m so so scared of the Ahsoka show. I retreated from every bit of Star Wars fandom because I just couldn’t handle it.

The Thrawn books set up a beautiful narrative for the time skip in rebels. The hints from both the original trilogy (of Thrawn books) and the Thrawn Ascendancy trilogy wove into the beginnings of an amazing explanation for where Ezra might’ve been during the gap, and did so while exploring Thrawn's character in a way that made me love him. And if you’ve only watched Rebels, you’ll believe me when I say that before reading the books I hated him. Before I read the books I couldn’t imagine liking him. And then I read them. And now the main reason that I am so so so distrustful and scared of the Ahsoka show is that I can see contradictory hints in the trailers, hints at the themes and stories that are going to be explored in the show, and they are all hints pointing towards making Thrawn who he was in the pre-Disney canon, in the old Thrawn novels. In those, he was exactly what you likely think of him as—ruthless, evil, heartless. However you want to describe it. But the newer books (written by the same guy who created Thrawn in the first place, I’d like you to know) changed that. They made him an infinitely more nuanced character, gave him a story that is so much more interesting than an evil dictator. But the trailers for the Ahsoka show make reference to the old books. The set up of the show is making Thrawn out to be the big bad. And when I heard “Heir to the Empire” (the title of one of the old Thrawn books, in which he is exactly that, and is his usual Legends canon nightmareish evil self) I pretty much lost all hope.

Theoretically, all this should’ve been assuaged by the fact that the new Thrawn books are canon. Not Legends canon, they are current canon.

But after how they changed Kanan’s backstory in Bad Batch, contradicting canon comics in favour of their new audiovisual show, I can’t expect much respect for written canon vs audiovisual canon. They’ve already disregarded their books once, why wouldn’t they do it again?

And let’s loop back around to that “but Thrawn was a big bad villain in the Rebels show”, because that ties right in.

Most of us love Dave Filoni. Clone Wars kicked ass. Rebels is amazing. I said it before—it’s my second favourite Star Wars media ever.

However.

Dave Filoni is also involved in the whole changes that happened with Jacen. He did the Bad Batch.

He also did Rebels, and specifically, also chose to make Thrawn the way he was in Rebels.

Compared to how Thrawn is in the new books, written by Timothy Zahn (again, the guy who made Thrawn in the first place), I’d take Zahn Thrawn over Filoni Thrawn any day. Because as I said, he is way more nuanced and complex in the books.

Villain and antagonist are two very different things. A villain is bad. A villain is cruel, and wrong. An antagonist is an opposing force. An opposing force against the protagonist. The protagonist doesn’t have to be a hero. The protagonist is simply the person we are following the story of, the one we hear the side of.

In Rebels, Thrawn is presented as antagonist and villain. He is countering the rebels efforts, doing things they don’t condone. The Empire is the true overarching villain of Rebels, and he is the face of the empire (once the inquisitors are done away with, and Kallus has defected). He and Pryce are the Empire. (Maul’s also an antagonist, but this isn’t about him.)

In the books, Thrawn is the (main) protagonist. He’s not really a hero, not in any usual meaning of the word, but he’s a protagonist.

The other main protagonist for the first book is Eli Vanto. An imperial officer who’s a hick from Wild Space, he’s about as low on the food chain as you could get.

For the first while, the Thrawn books don’t really have a distinct villain. The antagonists are, as could be expected for a book centred on imperial officers, sympathetic, or just plain unimportant enough to really count. Pirates. Smugglers.

And then comes Nightswan.

Nightswan is not a villain—He’s an antagonist. But he’s not a hero either. He’s not even really a rebel, not in with the rebellion, or his own sect like Saw Guerrera. He’s just swindling and fighting because he doesn’t like the empire, but he’s not overly concerned with results. A bit, but not much.

Pryce is a protagonist of the first Thrawn book. She is also, simultaneously, a villain. We watch her turn from a cunning and conniving 30-something, to a cunning, conniving, ruthless 50-something with a body count and a former best friend she turned in, making her rot in prison (because she joined a rebellion after seeing how Pryce was treated by her superiors!).

The last of the conflicts in the first Thrawn book is not a person vs person conflict. It is a person vs society. The last antagonist is the Empire. Or, specifically, the Empire’s xenophobia.

Thrawn is treated like crap by more than half of the people he works with. Eli, hick extraordinaire, the lowest member of the food chain, is not the lowest. Thrawn is. The only thing worse than being a hick from the ass end of nowhere is being an alien from the ass end of nowhere. At every turn, there are enemies watching for Thrawn and Eli to slip up, so they can be sent packing. The only reason they don’t, the only reason they survive, is a combination of one (1) influential non-xenophobic friend (who’s a remnant of the Republic, funnily enough (love you, Yularen)), plain competency at military matters, and a lot of tiptoeing around and making concessions.

“When can we push without being kicked out or killed”. “When do we have to give ground in order to stay in the fleet, and have the chance to do better in the long run”. More often than not, for two people such as themselves, they have to give ground. Eli, and Thrawn, spend a lot of their time in the books having ethical dilemmas and crises of conscious. It’s subtler from Thrawn, but it’s there.

Tell me that’s not more interesting than another black and white imperial villain. Tell me that doesn’t make more sense than a black and white imperial villain when said villain is an alien.

I also… don’t like Lars Mikklesen, heh. I don’t have anything against him, not really, but the problem stems from how he doesn’t help counter what I’m seeing in the trailer(s). Lars Mikkelsen was, indeed, Thrawn’s voice actor in Rebels. However, it’s Dave Filoni’s Thrawn (Rebels Thrawn) that I’m worried about. As we’ve said, Thrawn in Rebels occupies a very black and white villain role, this cold as ice ruthless and cruel and creepy villain, but then they (Disney! Literally Disney! Literally canon!) expanded on him, changing his backstory and history and present to be something way more interesting, way more complicated and nuanced and sympathetic and tbh, not a villain so much as a misguided hero.

That’s the Thrawn I want! That’s the Thrawn I read six books of! That’s the Thrawn that makes a fascinating counter to Ezra’s reckless idealism! But they are hinting at all the wrong hints, and the fact that they keep pulling from Rebels is one part of those hints. Ahsoka snarling in Mando asking for where “Grand Admiral Thrawn” is, is another. “Heir to the empire” is another, and that’s the really, really, really damning one. Anyway, yeah, Lars is not the problem, but he’s another person involved who doesn’t have any exposure to Book Thrawn, so he does nothing to reassure. Also, in the pettier reasons I’m eh on him, lmao, he’s… kinda old for how I think Thrawn should look since we’ve experienced that Chiss seem to age extremely gracefully, and also just generally his face isn’t right, and also… I know he was the first voice but I really like Mark Thompson (the voice actor for the audiobooks) way better, lol.

Other than Thrawn, the trailer(s) worries me that they’re going to pull force-sensitive Sabine out of their asses. There’s no reason to make her force-sensitive, she could use Ezra’s lightsaber without it, and work with Ahsoka without being her padawan (remember how Ahsoka left the Jedi order also?? And refused to train Grogu? Her randomly turning around to train Sabine (who shouldn’t be force sensitive anyway) doesn’t even fit in with their own canon!)

Ahem.

That’s all I can think of right now. If you’ve read the Thrawn books, or if you haven’t but are curious and don’t care about spoilers, this is what I think should’ve/should happen with Ezra, Thrawn, and all the post-rebels pre-rebels epilogue/pre-Ahsoka time.

#ahsoka show #star wars rebels #sw rebels #swr #thrawn #thrawn books #thrawn trilogy #thrawn ascendancy #star wars #oenimo talks #I'm likely going to mute notifications on this

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depizan · 7 months

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I make many questionable reading decisions out of the combination of curiosity and working in a library. Well, and… I don’t want to chalk it up quite to being a writer, but the curiosity is sometimes very writer adjacent.

After reading Star Wars: Shadow Games, I chatted a bit with @pyr0clast about how some characters are unlikable because of how they’re written* and some are unlikable because they’re just…unlikable. And questionably a character in the case of Dash Rendar, who, at least in Shadow Games, seemed to be written to either be edgier Han Solo or definitely not Han Solo.

Which brings us to my latest questionable reading decision. An audio copy of Shadows of the Empire wandered by and I thought: “Huh, wonder if maybe it always boils down to how a character is written.”

I have yet to get to Dash, but hoooboy does Star Wars have a Villain Sue problem. I find Thrawn a bit much with his magic culture powers and very direct-line-to-the-author intelligence, but he’s got nothing on Xizor. With Thrawn, at least original flavor Thrawn, the realization that the author is just way too in love with his creation and is stacking the deck in increasingly improbable ways is a slow one. Xizor is That Guy’s character from moment one.

You’re sitting down to play your favorite role playing game with your friends and one of them brought a friend to join and, while everyone else has a character with a class from one of the official books and plausible stats and a reasonable background, that friend of a friend brought something else entirely. His character has a class from some on-line unofficial database and is a vampire lich demigod with maxed out stats and 11 billion gold/credits/dollars. But he’s still level 1, so it’s fine, right?

That’s Xizor.

Okay, so he’s not actually a vampire lich demigod. He is, however, a new, special race with pheromone powers, introduced just for him (or at least just for the Shadows of the Empire multimedia thingy) who’s an amazingly successful crime lord, in good with Palpatine, and obscenely wealthy. It’s just too much.

This does not bode well for the rest of the book, much less this author's handling of Dash Rendar.

*Which is what the whole Mary Sue thing should’ve focused on. It’s not purple eyes or being good at lots of things or even generally being liked that’s a problem, it’s the writer bending the rules of the universe into pretzels for a specific character.

#Mac vs fandom blue #Mac reads things #Mac makes questionable reading choices at work #Mac reads Shadows of the Empire

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hailperseusjackson · 8 months

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i rewatched episode 4 of ahsoka (bc i wasn’t super focused the first time) so here’s a little review in bullet point form!

(this got kinda long i’m so sorry. i love complaining lol)

starting with things i liked:

-finally seeing sabine actually fighting in her mandalorian armor! it felt like the sabine we know and love

-the ghost!!!!!! THE GHOST MY BELOVED!!!!!!! prettiest ship in star wars fr

-seeing jacen again! literally he is my baby boy 💚 (also the “mom…I’ve got a bad feeling” like yeah 😭)

-ahsoka pulling the ‘obiwan dealing the killing blow to maul a la twin suns’ move on marrok was good and the fight choreography with baylan was solid i thought. you could feel the weight behind him and ahsoka’s moves

-baylan and shin’s outfits are so cool

-i like sabine’s move to go with baylan and shin a lot

-the wbw looks quite pretty in live action, i will admit. like how the path glitters like stars and that fade in shot from the water to the stars? very good

-anakin!!!!!! HAYDEN ANAKIN HI BESTIE HELLO HI! also hearing hayden anakin say “snips” 😭😭😭

things that i didn’t like and am here to complain about:

-ahsoka telling sabine that if they can’t get the map back they should destroy it, and thus destroy the chance at finding Ezra ever. Now. This is practical, and I don’t really dislike it for that reason. And I think as far as it goes for Ahsoka’s character, trying to fall back on old jedi ideals of not choosing attachments, choosing the greater good, this also makes sense. it just, idk. there’s something about it that is irking me

-the absolutely terrible writing for hera’s role as general. there was that whole line about “i’m a general, nothing’s classified to me” in ep2, and now with the disobeying orders and telling that lieutenant to cover for her and telling jacen that when he’s a general he can disobey orders too. that would literally just not fly in a military organization. and character-wise, hera is all about protocol and setting a good example in the rebellion, this is NOT hera and it just makes her look bad.

-baylan’s random “witchcraft” comment towards morgan. a) wouldn’t it have made more sense to put a line like that in ep2 when she first showed him the sphere? and b) just felt like a weird comment in general? the nightsisters have a relationship to the force too, and baylan is old enough and seems old school and sentimental enough to respect that, not look down on it. Just odd.

-the dialogue in general this ep just felt so clunky and shallow to me. There was no depth to hardly any of the conversations, even ones that should’ve had depth. I thought ep3 improved on the dialogue slightly, actually putting emotion into, and making it feel like the characters had relationships with one another. and in this ep it just felt so rehearsed again.

-relatedly, sabine kept saying things in her dialogue that gave away key information (“go get the map”, hera’s name, etc.) and it was so frustrating! on a character level, sabine is smarter than that. on a technical/craft level, the dialogue is just not thought out.

-also related to the lack of emotion, it was written in a way that we get almost no reaction from sabine when ahsoka says that they may have to leave ezra behind for good (despite the fact that we find out later in the ep that ahsoka let sabine down in some capacity when it came to sabine helping her family). And when it came to sabine’s family, almost no reaction there either! absolutely no shade to natasha, i think she’s doing a fine job. i just don’t think filoni knows how to write sabine. Or women in general.

-not sure how i feel about the rest of baylan and ahsoka’s confrontation. i feel like we’re supposed to feel more, especially with the “anakin spoke highly of you” / “everyone in the Order knew anakin skywalker” and baylan mentioning ahsoka “abandoning” anakin (which, starting to beat the dead horse with that one filoni. that theme has come up before and been done better, ie when it was done in rebels!). like maybe if baylan and ahsoka had talked more about being masters themselves or the end of the clone war (since they’re both survivors), something! we could maybe establish more of a connection, since it seems like they’re supposed to be fools (like sabine and shin are being set up to be).

-marrok. The move ahsoka pulled on him was cool, but otherwise, why was he here? Also reanimated nightsister or some other dathomir ghost?? I’m guessing that’s what the green smoke was? weird. fine, i guess. But just like what was the point of having marrok around when we already have baylan and shin and morgan?

-“your legacy, like your master’s, is one of death and destruction.” ???? i’m not sure exactly what this is supposed to mean????? any harm ahsoka has caused (intentionally or unintentionally) in her lifetime is nowhere near, oh idk, the fucking child murder???? and murder of all the jedi???

-the dialogue in this ep is just SO baffling.

-ahsoka automatically assuming sabine was dead when she saw shin (like girl can’t you sense that sabine isn’t dead??) and then getting all angry when she fought back at baylan again. it’s giving copy-pasted kanan (briefly) thinking ezra was dead in fire across the galaxy, but the worse version. kanan did it better <333

-called this before the show even came out, but i fucking knew filoni was just going to write off Sabine’s family as dead (if he mentioned them at all, which tbh i’m a little surprised he didn’t forget about them entirely). i knew it was coming and YET. still disappointing bc i know they’re not going to address the deaths of her family or Sabine’s trauma in a meaningful, well-written way 🙃🥲

-hera being told that the enemy has a giant hyperspace ring and then flying right in its path and then not moving or telling her pilots to take evasive action when it was powering up. fucking ooc she’s a better pilot than that

#i’m sorry for complaining so much but also. there’s much to complain about #idk something in this episode just did not click #the dialogue was so wonky for most of the ep #like filoni you dumbfuck. this is why you should have a TEAM of writers #or at least one other person to tell you that things sound stale and boring and stiff #but no he’s just gonna keep copying stuff from rebels when rebels already did it better #and he’s gonna keep doing a terrible job writing female characters #ugh.#ahsoka spoilers #ahsoka series #ashowka negativity #filoni critical #star wars

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