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#i promise i will post about the other parts of the outtakes later but this song just hits
dethronedroses · 2 years
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when bo burnham said “she likes her life as a mother and wife, but is that all she is?” and “she runs out the coop that her life spent confined to” and “a life of brighter days, the width a road away,” and “it’s anyone’s guess what then happened next but most think she died” and “but i think we ought to believe that she got to the other side” and
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loonysama · 2 years
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Goldie
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Kristoff stood atop the ladder, picking the best apples from one of the last fruiting trees on his orchard for the pie Anna promised him for their two year anniversary.  He didn’t think he could top his grandmother’s gold apple necklace and loving words he gave her last year, but he had no idea what to do.  Then he felt a sharp breeze ruffle his hair and he heard a faint “mew” from a few trees down the way, where two golden orbs beckoned him from the almost barren tree.  He had hoped that tree would bloom later like it did last year, but last year was a fluke.  He moved his ladder to rescue the tiny black kitten who rubbed his head all over Kristoff’s chest and neck in gratitude. Kristoff reached for the last two apples hanging from the tree’s branches and the kitten’s golden eyes pleaded for attention and his minuscule nails kneaded into Kristoff’s sweater.
"How’d you get up there?” he asked, looking around in vain as he climbed down the ladder.  “Where’s your mom?” Not finding any other cats, he tucked the kitten into his apron and immediately headed toward the Anna’s farm.  He spent the entire trek telling the kitten all about how wonderful Anna is and how much he’ll love her.  The kitten mewed and stretched against the canvass hammock, which Kristoff interpreted as excitement, even though he slept most of the trip.
Kristoff’s heart skipped a beat when Anna came into view.  
“Kristoff!  I didn’t think I’d see you until later,” she said as she ran towards him.  Each time Kristoff saw that smile he fell even more in love with her.
“Well, I picked a couple of apples for you and I couldn’t wait to give them to you,” he said as he caught his breath.
Anna’s face slowly shifted to a look of sweet surprise and pure joy as he pulled the kitten from his apron.
“Awwww!  He’s so cute!  Kristoff!” she said with a deep blush as Kristoff handed the kitten over to his new mom, who had already decided on a name.  “Well, hello, Goldie!  It’s so nice to meet you,” she said to the kitten.
“Happy anniversary,” Kristoff whispered.
Anna smiled and said, “You brought me two golden apples!” as she kissed him.
“Better keep him away from Sven!” he joked.  Just then Sven, Anna's goat, hopped over the fence.  Kristoff was ready with a golden delicious of his very own. When Sven finished that one he came back for more, and Kristoff was prepared.  The two floating apples were for Anna but the hanging apples were for Sven.  Sven playfully bit at Anna’s shawl a few times until Kristoff tossed a couple of carrots for him to catch.
"So where’d you find him?” she asked, still very focused on Goldie.
"He was just hanging out in one of the apple trees,” Kristoff said.
“The golden delicious?” she guessed.
Kristoff chuckled and wrapped Anna and Goldie in his arms. "I love you, Anna.  The past two years have been incredible.”
Goldie squeaked and Anna set him down on the ground to roam around.
"I love you, too, Kristoff,” she said with eyes growing larger as she stood.  Then she lowered her eyes just briefly and stopping his heart again. 
“And I love the feel of your hand in mine," Anna whispered flirtatiously as she played with a couple of his fingers, eventually pulling his hand to rest on top of her heart, her hand on top of his. 
Sven grunted and stood up just then, the motion shifting Kristoff’s focus for a moment.  Then Kristoff winked at the goat before he leapt towards the midday sun.  Kristoff was already smiling from giddiness.
“You’ll always have me, you know,” she stated.
Kristoff already knew what to get Anna for their third anniversary. 
“I’m holding on tight to you, too.”
**********************************************
This is an outtake from my story “Iduna’s Apple” posted as part of the Kristanna Harvest Day 2021 collection @ AO3.  It didn’t really fit with the story, but I loved the kitten too much to completely scrap it. So I revised it to make it a short epilogue taking place on Anna and Kristoff's 2nd anniversary, in honor of the Frozen II’s 2nd anniversary.
*The cat model is Binx.*
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lorei-writes · 3 years
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The Dragon of Yss: Extra!
Bloopers, Outtakes, some HC
Masamune x MC (Mizusaki Mai)
Fantasy AU
Summary: He wanted Mai to remain herself - and for that very reason, he promised to protect her, at any cost. Little did he know, he may need somebody to save him as well.
All parts:  Part 1 - Sands of Estarra ,  Part 2 - Findings , Part 3 - “ I knew you’d come.” , Part 4 - Reborn , Part 5 - Eevi , Part 6 - Closer , Part 7 - Way to Varshka , Part 8 - The Gods We Trust , Part 9 - Flowers that Bloom in Adversity ,  Part 10 - Singing Bird , Part 11 - Vibrant Smoke ,  Part 12 - Hidden in Plain Sight , Part 13 - Heritage , Part 14 - Isger , Part 15 - Mad Possibility , Part 16 - Unraveling , Part 17 - Promises Sealed in Snow , Part 18 - Never Unfamiliar, Part 19 - White Noise , Epilogue: Threads
So, the main part of the story may be over... But it did not stop my brain from coming up with few little things here and there. As such, allow me to share those here as well.
// Dialogue shortly following the ending of the series; between Iroha and Masamune
// General post-chapter 19 notes/HC + explanations
“What do you mean you were turned into a dragon?! I thought you said you’ve lied to me only once in my life and that this was the lie!”
“Of course not. It was when you were seven and refused to go to sleep without having cake, so I told you that the neighbours’ dog was hungry and ate it.”
(Pause)
“Are you for real?”
“Dire situations call for appropriate measures.” 
“I swear to skies, dad...” 
The Plague of Yss
Iroha - the heiress of the Date clan
I feel it may be somewhat unclear, yet I decided against repeating it in the story itself. As was stated, Mitsunari had some hypothesis to test and needed at least a single person who survived long enough into the plague OR recovered from it.
The plague of Yss was in fact more of a double-edged sword, perhaps it could be even called a ritual performed by Isgerians. Yssians are their descendants and, as you probably already know, Masamune turned into the dragon as the result of this plague.
Long story short: Masamune is the survivor of the plague, the one thing Mitsunari needed. This is also why they came to live in Varshka, the place being one of two major cities presented in the story. (Why Varshka and not Vyrminia? University in Vyrminia would still be partially destroyed. As was stated by Mila, despite being almost the same in most regards, the atmosphere is the major thing setting those two apart. +Take note that Ieyasu did work there shortly before being forced to move to Vyrminia and recorded a rapid increase of cases of said plague there).
As was implied several times in the story, magical abilities or lack thereof may influence one’s life to a great extent - from their social status to rendering them a desirable product on the black market. 
Allow me to write a short list (least to most desirable) of abilities.
Giftless.
Healer.
Connector (either of two types).
Transmuter. 
(As for why this order is like so: talk between Oxa and Masamune in regards to giftless and healers; fact that the only transmuter in the story is Alleyah/Manya and it’s specifically mentioned that this ability is extremely rare and desirable to the point of people being bred to acquire it in the offspring. Yes - yikes; the only remaining and most common class are, of course, connectors, hence its placement).
Lastly, before I move to the point, please let me remind you: abilities are inherited. It is not completely random.
How does it all tie up into Iroha’s situation?
The history repeats itself. Iroha is hence more desirable heir than any of her cousins. If she so chooses - she will become the heiress of the Date clan. However, as it was already implied in the story: it is a choice. Masamune tells her he will handle any business with his family if she wishes to take a different path.
Masamune is giftless, which, aside from having only one eye, makes him a very poor candidate for a heir. As such, it was his younger brother who was granted the role - whichever type of magic he possessed, it was better than no magic and the risk of passing this “affliction” onto the next head of the family.
However, just as magic is passed, so is lack of it. Even if it did not activate in his generation, Kojirou’s children are born giftless. (Given the context, despite the other parent possessing some sort of ability).
Meanwhile, Masamune’s daughter, Iroha, was born a connector, having inherited the ability from her mother.
Her trip to Mitsuhide’s estate is related to that - there are little other reliable ways for her to be taught about diplomacy. 
On warlords and their relationships
This may cause a question to appear: how did the warlords even end up being connected? Well... Simply as that, they were all sons from rather prominent households and had most likely met each other during diplomacy trips of their parents. Them either becoming heads of said families or not - that comes into play later on in their life. Their relationships survived. 
It also means that the reason why Ieyasu was able to become a physician is because he was a healer and hence, not the best candidate. Also - Masamune could travel the world in search of Mai because... He didn’t have any political duties to attend to.
As for Mitsunari and Hideyoshi - it’s not explained nor implied how they got where they are. However, it’s possible to adapt canon for the sake of that.
Portal magic and its many faces
As it was stated in the story, the main thing setting Arynthian people from other connectors is that - if one of them is born a connector - their magic manifests somewhat differently. It’s ruled by different limitations.
As such, Mai’s portal magic is different from that of Kyubei. (As it was shown, she can see colorful lines and can follow them basically anywhere. Kyubei, meanwhile, has to be able to see the place he is supposed to open the portal to - or to be able to visualise it well, as was pointed out when Mai passed through a portal point).
Why am I bringing it up? Because Iroha’s magic is a bit different too. It has less limitations that Kyubei’s ability, yet it isn’t as powerful as Mai’s.
This also explains why “Arynthinas” are so rare - the ability degenerates fast. It’s more of an error than actual ability, so to say.
Kenshin & the timeskip 
What was he even doing then? How long was it?
Well. Kenshin has a very fuzzy memory of last 20-ish years of his life in the form of the dragon. As was previously mentioned, it happens so when the primal desires take over human mind - when smelling blood or... Well, or what? It was mentioned he was hungry.
Yes. He was starving himself for the entire duration of the timeskip. Why? Because then the flammable substance in his stomach self-ignited and caused him to combust. In a way, he committed an act of self-burning...
And flames of the dragon were the only thing which could turn him back. So they did. 
// Bullet-points (not written in the story, may not be written, but overall, you can assume those are canon)
Iroha was born 12 months after her parents reunited. When Mai got pregnant, it was a surprise for all parties involved. However, they chose to continue the pregnancy. 
Mai became proficient in portal magic mostly because Iroha’s powers would activate at random when she was still little. A toddler stuck between the worlds doesn’t make for a happy toddler.
On that note, Masamune could be hardly left home alone with her. Hardly, as he eventually developed fast enough reflexes to pull her out of a portal right as she was starting to pass through it. It later became a joke that they needed to keep her on a leash for few months - which is not completely incorrect. 
Developing the cure involved taking plenty of samples. In other words: RiP Masamune’s veins, he would curse like a sailor whenever he had to have his blood drawn.
To follow down this path: the preventive medicine involved having your skin cut and then it being injected. Iroha was very young when it happened and so, she has a scar on her arm from that. 
Shortly after that, they moved back to Yss. Masamune might have not been the heir, but family standing did make some matters easier to achieve for him. As such, he’s a bit of a local leader in his community, I would say, dealing mostly with local politics and management. 
They were relieved when it turned out their son, Tadamune, was giftless. 
Iroha will never live down what happened at the apple tree.
During winter, the frostbite on Mai’s hands makes itself known again. Her skin cracks and scabs start to form - and each year, Masamune takes it onto himself to tend to them. He is more than aware that she got it while he was still turned into the dragon.
Manya continued to serve under Mitsuhide. However, she hardly uses her power anymore. She grew particularly close with Kyubei, although they’re still working on the terminology. Or perhpas there is no reason for it?They’re not sure themselves; Call them very close friends.
Mitsuhide does not have a chid or a partner. He doesn’t seem to mind, however, his “niece” having always been a handful to manage. He made sure to tell everybody about the apple tree. All of his stories contradict each other. 
Time almost stopped for Kenshin when he was still a dragon. In other words, he’s the oldest in actual years of life, but in terms of physical form? He’s younger than Masamune or any other warlord. This lands him in a rather peculiar spot of... Well, an adult face, although in his case, it’s just another variety of VERY severe baby face. 
// outtakes 
-- this was a very early attempt at writing the smut scene. Written several months prior to actually getting to this point in the story.
The room was cozy and simple, the inventory of it consisting of  warm chimney stretching from below the floor and up through the ceiling, a small table, with a bronze basin on top of it, and a bed, just barely big enough to fit two people comfortably. They stepped inside, the white sheets seemingly calling them, inviting them to come closer. Mai sank onto the mattress first, her legs still remaining on the floor. She kicked her boots off and, this time, lay down properly.
„ We're switching today,” she said, opening her arms for Masamune. He obliged, soon nuzzling into the crook of her neck. Resting in silent contentment, he slung his arm over her waist, pulling her even closer. She stroked his hair tenderly, basking in the warmth exchanged between their bodies. Ever since she was kidnapped, she wanted to just hold him, knowing he'd push himself with no regard for his own well-being.
„ You shouldn't have done that, you know...” she hummed. „ What were you even thinking, it was so risky...”
„ I screwed up in the market, didn't I?” he sighed. „ I'm sorry I didn't keep my word then.”
„ You idiot, you missed the point entirely. I can... If... If that's what I have to do to survive, I will accept it. But I don't want to lose you,” her voice hitched. Masamune propped himself on his elbow, cupping her cheeks with his free hand.
„ I'm sorry. But I couldn't stand having you whisked away again too.”
As if guided by pure instinct, she pulled him into a kiss. His lips pressed against hers more delicately than usually. She opened her mouth, needing to taste him, over and over again. His familiar scent enveloped her, his fingers tracing the outline of her jaw – and for a moment she could have sworn that the time stopped, that the entire universe was reduced just to that single small room. Yet, they had to part eventually, their lungs begging for air. To her surprise, Masamune returned to his previous spot, his hair tickling her chin.
„ I missed you so much, Mai,” he murmured against her skin. His lips brushed her neck once, twice, and so many more, each and every time descending slightly, until he reached the very tip of her collarbone. His hand waited at the hemline of her shirt.
„ But you should rest...” she trailed off.
„ I'm fine. You know the question was whether you want it or not.”
Hadn't she known the answer already? Yet, the reason still fought within her, reminding her of both her and his fatigue... But... Maybe? Maybe just a little... Maybe just a little more.
„ I do,” she uttered finally.
-- At first I considered Mitsuhide and Manya becoming and endgame ship. I ended up deciding against it. However, a line of dialogue stayed. I debated using it for another pair, but it didn’t happen either. 
A chilly gust of wind slipped through the tiny creaks around the window. His teeth pulled lightly on the cord keeping her neckline closed, the knot soon unraveling. His hand snuck under her shirt, travelling up so very slowly, as if he wanted to renew the map of her body in his mind. She shivered under his touch, anticipation growing deep within her. His lips returned to her neck, as he cupped her breast from below, massaging it lightly. Switching between the left one and the right one, his fingers caressed them unhurriedly. Masamune pulled onto the top of her shirt, the fabric dispersing over the cord just slightly, exposing her shoulders. Cold air inviting itself into the room again, he kissed the newly freed skin. He  propped himself on his elbow and looked down at her, her nipples peaking through her clothing.
„ Masamune...” she whined a bit, as if to rush him. He chuckled in response, the garment soon flying to the floor.
„ Aren’t you impatient, kitten?” he hummed against her breast, his breath warming up her skin. Mai shivered.
“ You’re..!” her voice hitched, as he took her nipple between his teeth and bit on it just lightly, flicking it with his tongue and sucking it a moment later.
“ Have you said anything just now?” he laughed, looking up at her. Mischief played in his eye, as he returned to caressing her, his fingers sliding down her side.
“ That I missed you too,” she gasped as he grabbed her rear, his hand sneaking beneath the fabric of her pants. As if to make up to her for all the missed time, his lips trailed a path down her abdomen – until she couldn’t take it anymore, pulling him up by his shoulders, needing to taste his lips. She pushed Masamune against the pillows and straddled him. Seeing the surprised look he gave her, Mai laughed a little.
“ I still think you should rest,” she stated firmly, her fingers tracing his jawline. She cupped his face and leaned forward,  her hair tickling his cheeks as he kissed her again, his tongue entering her mouth eagerly. Wordlessly, she
-- Another dialogue exchanged between Mitsuhide and Manya. It made it into the final story, although slightly altered.
“I love you.”
“What--”
“With every fiber of my being. I love you.”
“He will not love you, no matter how much you change.”
“How can you know that?!”
“The filthiest scums on earth are unable to feel anything lest it’s twisted - and love, my dear little one, can never withstand that sort of deformation.”
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sp4c3-0ddity · 6 years
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Living Nightmare
Fic Summary:
Lance's isolation doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon, even if he's out of solitary confinement
Word count:  ~1800
A/N:
for @hailqiqi, who beta-ed my Pidge Big Bang fic with amazing detail. it would not have been the same without her
also, you should probably read aforementioned fic here to understand this one, since it’s a sort of outtake
Read below or on ao3:
Lance hummed a tune that was popular at home the last time he was there. He muttered the lyrics under his breath, of the princess asleep and waiting to be rescued by her true love. Captured unjustly by her father’s Galra enemies, she slept in a tower guarded by Druids.
But the hero crept ever closer. He was strong enough to slay all the soldiers in his path and clever enough to outsmart the Druids, and in the end he triumphed and saw the princess returned to her throne.
Once, Lance thought himself the hero gone to free worlds from the Galra, but lately he wondered if he had more in common with the princess instead.
There wasn’t much to do in solitary confinement. He couldn’t help being reminded of the timeouts he suffered in childhood, of standing in a corner, punished for some amount of time proportional to his crime. Like then, the bare gray walls boxed him in, but here every morning he woke after a few vargas (the best he could count) of fitful sleep, they felt even closer than when he’d first closed his eyes.
His mementos from home stayed in his regular cell, and he wasn’t allowed any form of entertainment. It was just Lance, an empty space that he could lap in eight steps, his own ripe stench, and the thoughts in his head.
And his voice, of course, but either the door to the solitary cell was made of thicker metal or the guards posted beyond it were more resistant to his needling than Pidge had been.
Pidge…
Lance buried his face in his hands, muffling a groan. Pidge was never far from his mind lately, and he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing, not when an insult to Pidge made his blood boil.
He lifted his head and examined the back of his hand. He hadn’t hit Sergeant Aron hard enough to bruise his knuckles, but if he closed his eyes he could still hear the crunch of his fist connecting with a jaw.
He hit a fellow soldier - a superior of his - because he insulted an enemy guard.
An enemy guard who, against all odds, Lance thought of as a friend.
He ran his fingers through his hair as his heartbeat spiked. He got to his feet and paced the length and width of the solitary cell, counting steps.
One, two, three, four, five, six…
On the seventh step, Lance froze, eyes wide as he faced the shut door without seeing it. And he realized that hitting another Altean prisoner would cost him more than it already had.
Isolation, different than he suffered in a solitary cell.
“Quiznak.”
By punching Sergeant Aron, by lashing out at him when he insulted Pidge, Lance had implicitly chosen a Galra soldier over his own race. And when he finally left solitary confinement and returned to his regular routine, the news would spread of why.
Lance would be an outcast, a pariah, and his only friend would be Pidge, an infrequent companion and an enemy.
A part of Lance wished Hunk was there. Hunk wouldn���t shun him just for daring to be friendly with a guard - though he’d judge him for how friendly.
But no, Hunk was better off as an engineer on an Altean battleship. Lance should’ve been with him, a fighter pilot waiting to be deployed in the midst of an interstellar battle.
Instead he languished as a prisoner of war on an isolated planet, trapped because his family couldn’t afford to pay his ransom.
So much for making them proud.
Lance jumped at a sudden screeching sound, and when he looked up the slot at the top of the cell door was open.
“About time,” he said, forcing a smirk onto his face as a Galra guard peeked in at him.
The guard’s thick black eyebrows furrowed - likely in a scowl, and he said, “Turn around and plant your hands on the wall.”
Lance did as he was told, not fancying the prospect of getting hit just for disobedience. And he figured that the sooner he obeyed, the sooner he could finally flee solitary.
The door creaked open, and two pairs of footsteps entered the small cell. Then rough, furry hands grabbed his wrists and forced his arms behind his back. A pair of handcuffs trapped his hands in place.
Lance grimaced at a sharp pain in his shoulder at the rough handling, but a tic later it abated. He then skittered along when the shorter of the two Galra guards took his arm and tugged him out of the cell, the other following behind with his rifle directed at his back.
He examined his more immediate escort out of the corner of his eye. He thought he recognized his face - a little thinner and less furry than the average Galra, it seemed, as if only part - as belonging to someone he saw with Pidge a few times…
Lance narrowed his eyes. “Anything changed while I was in there?” He smirked. “I bet it wasn’t as exciting without me, huh?”
The guard holding him scowled but didn’t look at him.
“Tough crowd,” Lance observed. “Where are we going anyway?”
“Back to your cell,” he replied.
“Oh, so you do talk.” At a noncommittal grunt, Lance wondered, “How’s Sergeant Aron? I bet he looks worse than I do.”
The guard sighed and grumbled, “Why the hell does Pidge talk to you?”
Lance grinned almost involuntarily, that response delighting him more than he would’ve thought. “He miss me while I was gone?”
This time, the guard showed no reaction except to press his lips together.
“Ah, fine, I guess I’ll find that out for myself.” Lance’s own words both warmed him and filled his stomach with dread.
Soon he’d also learn that his comrades were shunning him because he took the side of an enemy guard.
But do we really have to fight? Lance thought, frowning. That book—
The guard disrupted his thoughts by unceremoniously shoving him through the doorway of his usual cell.
Lance stumbled in, somehow keeping his balance though his wrists were still cuffed together. “So, uh, Corporal whatever-your-name-is—”
“Kogane.”
“Right, Corporal Kogane,” Lance said, rolling his eyes. “Do you mind taking these off?”
He raised an eyebrow when he received no response. Then he glanced over his shoulder to see Corporal Kogane with his back to him.
“You go ahead,” he said to the other guard. “I wanted a dobosh or two to…talk to him.”
The other guard laughed. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Corporal,” he said, patting Kogane on the shoulder. “Just don’t take too long or hurt him too badly; he still has work detail in a few vargas.” He then left, the door to his cell sliding shut behind him and leaving Lance alone with a Galra soldier that now looked very, very angry.
Lance swallowed, heart pounding. He’d seen a few prisoners roughed up by guards, and the ones that dared defend themselves always ended up in solitary confinement.
As Corporal Kogane approached him, hands curled into fists, Lance blurted, “If you’re going to hit me, can you at least give me a chance to defend myself?” He shrugged and shook his cuffs. “It won’t exactly be a fair fight if you don’t take these off.”
Kogane crossed his arms. “I’m not here to hurt you,” he said.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Lance retorted. “Then why are you here? To warn me about fighting other prisoners?”
“No.”
“Huh, well, I guess if you’re friends with Pidge he could’ve sent you, though I don’t know why he wouldn’t have come himself…” Lance smiled hopefully at Kogane. “How is Pidge?”
“He’s fine,” Kogane said, tone curt, “no thanks to you.”
“So where’s—”
Kogane slammed his fist into the wall, cutting Lance off and startling him. “Why are you interested in Pidge?”
Lance blinked at him. “Because…he’s a friend?”
Kogane snorted. “Right,” he said, “because you had friendship on your mind when you first spoke to Pidge.”
“Well, maybe not then,” Lance conceded with a sheepish smile, something like regret making his heart heavy, “but I do now.”
Kogane narrowed his eyes at Lance. “I don’t believe you.”
“You should!” He scowled, growing angry. Why was it Corporal Kogane’s business anyway? “I might’ve just given up my connections with my own people in defense of Pidge, so don’t think that for one second”—he tried to raise a hand to prod him in the chest only to remember that his wrists were still bound—”I don’t care about him!”
Lance glared at Kogane, breath heavy and heart pounding, waiting for him to respond.
But Corporal Kogane only stared at him for a few long tics. Then he stepped closer to Lance, backing him into the wall both with the speed of his step and the force of his gaze.
“If you do care about Pidge,” he said, voice pitched low, “you’ll pretend that you don’t.”
Lance opened his mouth to retort, but Kogane continued:
“This little friendship you have - no matter your real intentions - is risky for her, because not only is she hiding her gender, but—”
Lance’s mind ground to a stunned halt.
“Wait, she?”
Kogane’s eyes widened, and he moved away, holding his hands up. “I said he.”
“No you didn’t!” Lance said, gaping at him. “Is Pidge a—”
“Shh!” Kogane glanced over his shoulder as if half-expecting someone to be hovering over him, eavesdropping. Then he rounded on Lance and said, “Tell no one!”
Lance shook his head, trying to recover from his shock as all his perceptions of Pidge rearranged themselves. “I won’t,” he promised.
“Good.” Kogane nodded curtly. “Just…if you do care about…him, you won’t draw attention to yourselves. Got it?”
Lance held his gaze, heart sinking as he took in Corporal Kogane’s words.
Pidge…was a woman working at a men’s prison. No wonder he - or she - was prettier than all the other Galra guards put together!
But there was something else, something that Corporal Kogane almost mentioned but didn’t. What else was Pidge hiding?
(Why would a Galra woman enlist as a man and carry around an Altean book?)
Whatever it was put her in danger if Corporal Kogane - her friend - went so far as to warn Lance about it. And Lance wouldn’t - couldn’t - be the one to draw more unwanted attention towards Pidge.
His chest ached as he considered what he had to do, but then he nodded at Kogane. “Got it.”
“Good,” said Kogane, flashing a fleeting, relieved smile.
Without another word, he turned and slipped out of the door, which slid shut again behind him.
Lance stared after him without really seeing the door, too busy frowning and contemplating the dread already filling him. He’d never meant to befriend Pidge - not for real - but now…
His cuffs finally fell off and landed with a clatter on the floor of his cell. He sat on his cot and reached into that narrow space between the thin mattress and the wall to tug Pidge’s book from its hiding place.
He’d give this back to her next time he saw her. It was the least he could do and would serve to sever the tie between them.
(But if only it could be that easy.)
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winryofresembool · 6 years
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Fic Masterpost
I decided to make a list of all my EdWin fics so far, because going through tags can be a bit tricky with my current theme (I should change it soon). So, here we go:
One-shots:
The Way He Saw Her 
My first and shortest EdWin fic I’ve posted. Some short glimpses of moments between Ed and Winry post-promised day. Canon verse. (Romance (?), non-explicit sexual themes)
“I’m sorry I scared you, I didn’t mean to”
A scene between Ed and Winry on the day when Ed and Al returned to Resembool post Promised day. Canon verse. (Fluff, some hurt/comfort)
Survivor’s Guilt
After finding out about Winry’s pregnancy, Ed starts seeing nightmares about things that happened a long time ago. Canon verse. (Angst, hurt/comfort, bits of fluff)
“Eyes on Me”
Winry tries to calm a nervous Ed down before their first dance at their wedding reception. Canon verse. (Fluff, humor)
Future is full of possibilities
Ed realizes that everyone else has started to move on after the Promised Day except him. Winry tries to comfort him. Canon verse. (Fluff and even more fluff)
Mood Swings
Ed and Winry are fighting again, but Winry realizes there might be something more behind her raging emotions. Canon verse. (Fluff)
Bath Time 
Al is done with Ed and Winry’s bickering, so he makes them wash Den together. The pair finally talks about their feelings. Canon verse. (Fluff, humor?)
Hogwarts Houses
Ed and Winry chatting about what Hogwarts house they’d belong to. Modern day texting AU. (Fluff, humor)
Elric Family Trait
Ed and Winry’s daughter Emma gets into trouble, and her teacher needs to call her parents. Emma’s father isn’t happy about it. Canon verse. (Fluff, humor. Dad!Ed ♥)
I Choose You
Ed, Winry and Pokémon puns. Enough said. hangonsilvergirl’s It’s Not a Big Deal universe! Modern day texting AU. (humor, fluff)
Valentine’s Gifts
Ed and Winry’s class is assigned to get a small present to a classmate for the Valentine’s day. Ed is far from happy about it. High school AU. (fluff, humor)
Behind the Window
Post promised-day Edwin from an elderly couple’s point of view. Canon verse (fluff)
Misunderstandings and Icy Kisses
Ed comes home from a hockey game trip only to find out that something went wrong while he was gone. Ice skating AU, takes place a good year after the ‘main’ fic. (Fluff)
A Nightmare
Winry sees a nightmare about the past events and finally opens up about something that has been bothering her for a long time. Post promised day. (Hurt/comfort, maybe a bit fluffy)
Drabble
In which the dorks are arm wrestling.
A Letter from Creta
Ed writes to Winry while he’s traveling on his own in Creta.
503 Week: Travel aka Packing issues
Ed, Winry and their two children are about to travel to Central, but getting ready for it seems more challenging than expected. Canon verse. (fluff)
503 Week: Tears aka Gold Medal Celebration
What happens after Ed finally wins something big? Ice skating au. (fluff)
503 Week: Home 
Ed wonders why he always keeps coming back to Resembool. Canon verse. (General, a bit fluffy towards the end?)
503 Week: Endure
Pregnancy and Winry are not a good combination, but luckily she has someone to take care of her. Canon verse. (kinda fluffy)
Multi-chapters:
EdWin on Ice/Ice skating au (on-going)
chapter 1, 2, 3, 4 + ‘outtake’ (see also Misunderstandings and Icy Kisses)
Ed is a hockey player who left to the Olympics with only one thought in his mind: he wanted to win gold. What he wasn’t expecting was that he’d find something far more valuable in form of a blonde haired figure skater. Ice skating AU. (In the moment of writing this, I can’t tell how many chapters there are gonna be.) (Fluff, humor, possibly hurt/comfort later on) 
Birthdays (complete)
How Ed and his daughter’s 5th birthdays differ from each other. Canon verse (fluff, some hurt/comfort)
part 1, part 2
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fangirlfish · 6 years
Text
[ASOIAF / GOT Fanfic] - Shattered Chapter 8.2
After some consideration I think that I’m going to be doing a mix of re-write and additional content on the earlier chapters. Also I’m going to writing up a couple outtakes / side stories related to Shattered. As I’ve been posting chapters on AO3, I’ve realized there is room to expand a bit more on some things that i mention in the story, but it just didn’t fit in the story. So I’m not 100% sure if next well I’ll be posting Chapter 9 or the side stories instead. I’ll see what happens.
Anyway here we get a totally new POV I never used up to this point. Hope you enjoy it.
Robb sighed as he looked at the files on his desk. Anyone who thinks that being chief aid to a Senator was easy needed their head examined. It was important for Robb to get more involved with politics here in King’s Landing as it was his duty to be not only Lord Stark of Winterfell, but he had to take his place in the Senate of Parliament. He was grateful that Uncle Benjen stepped up and took the seat after his tragic father’s death. Benjen Stark proved his leadership abilities for the past thirteen years. Soon enough it’ll be Robb taking over. In the meantime it was important for Robb to make sure he fully understood the ins and outs of King’s Landing wheeling and dealing.
“It’ll drive you mad, Robb. No doubt about that. I never envied Ned when he had to take on our father’s seat, but he rose up to the challenge. You will too, Robb,” Uncle Benjen said to him before.
Still Robb knew he had no choice but to be ready. He promised to take over the Stark senate seat after he turned 26. It would allow Benjen retire from politics. He knew perfectly well that Uncle Benjen didn’t like politics, but was a responsible man like every other Stark in existence.
There was knock on the door. Robb looked up and called out, “Come in!”
The door opened and a young woman was standing at the door. She smiled warmly at him. “I’m not late am I?” she said with a slight purr to her voice.
Robb grinned at his visitor. “You’re just in time, Margaery.”
Margaery giggled and casually sat down on an empty spot on his desk. “I’m glad. I was stuck at the theater. We have a couple more weeks before previews start,” she said with a sigh.
Robb took one of her hands and squeezed. “Are you worried baby? I’m sure you’ll be amazing.”
Margaery offered him a tiny smile. “You really think so? I haven’t done a big production like this before. It’s the Dragonpit, Robb.” Despite the glamour and charm Margaery Tyrell always radiated, she was still at heart a young woman fresh out of drama school with only school productions and a couple local theater performances under her belt. The Dragonpit was once upon a time, the place where House Targaryen kept their dragons like a stable for horses. Dragons died centuries ago. The large space was converted into a large stadium and then became the largest theater in Westeros. Only huge productions were held there.
Robb stood up and hugged Margaery. She leaned into him and placed her head on his shoulder. He gently ran his fingers through her long, wavy locks of brown hair. “You are talented, graceful, charming, and beautiful. You’ll be amazing on that stage and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, Margaery Tyrell.”
Margaery looked up at Robb and leaned into him giving him kiss. It filled his whole being with warmth and love. They soon pulled apart gazing into each other’s eyes with growing smiles on their faces.
“You always know what to say, Robb Stark,” Margaery murmured as she gently ran a hand through his own auburn curls.
“I can only hope,” he said with a sigh. He pulled away and began organizing his work before he could leave for the day. He had to make sure everything was neat and that he locked his desk drawers.
Margaery stood up and smiled at him. “You’re going to be an amazing senator. You’re going to be the youngest senator in a long time.”
Robb sighed at that. In an ideal world, he shouldn’t be a senator before he was fifty years old. Life could sometimes be very cruel and unfair that way. Would his father think he was ready? “I just don’t know if I’m ready.”
“Robb, you’ll be ready. Your uncle Benjen certainly thinks so. That’s why he agreed to let you take over the seat in a couple more years,” Margaery reasoned. “Besides, you do have some of your father’s and uncle’s old friends in the senate to support you too.”
Robb had to admit that was true. Senator Robert Baratheon was his father’s best friend. He’d be supportive in the Senate, but Uncle Benjen had warned him that Senator Baratheon wasn’t particularly dutiful about being a senator. Robb’s observations more or less told him what his uncle said was true. The senator was barely in attendance at half the meetings he was supposed to be at. The ones in which he did attend, he said little and what little he did say wasn’t very relevant or helpful.
“Perhaps, but that’s not something to worry about now.” Robb carefully placed the documents away and locked the drawers. His laptop was logged off and he finished unplugging everything and packing it away in his messenger bag. “Let’s go, love.”
Robb and Margaery left the offices and headed to Cregan’s Bar & Grill, a popular tavern just a few minutes away from all the government office buildings. It was popular precisely because it was near the offices that staffers for the Northern senators and district representatives like to go relax at after work. The fact it was also a short walking distance from WIA headquarters made it convenient for Jon and Robb to meet up on a regular basis if one or both best friends weren’t busy because of work.
“Have you met this girl, Jon is seeing?” Margaery asked curiously.
“No, but then again they only just started dating,” Robb explained.
Margaery arched an eyebrow at this. “How recently?”
Robb had to think about it for a moment. He had to admit even he was surprised at how soon he was meeting Jon’s mystery girlfriend. “I think he said they only had their first date a couple weeks ago. She’s the new assistant office manager, I think.”
Both of Margaery’s eyebrows were raised as her eyes widened. “Oh my God! He’s already introducing her to his friends? Mister Loner? Secret Agent Broody Man?” Margaery started grinning at this.
Robb had to chuckle. “Does Jon know you call him all those things?”
Margaery lightly shoved Robb. “You wouldn’t dare say a word about it!”
Robb murmured, “I might be persuaded to keep my silence with… the right incentive.”
They were approaching Cregan’s and could hear the sound of rock music and conversation from the place. “I believe I can pay the price you’re asking for later, dear.”
Robb opened the door so they both walked in. Classic rock was blasting loudly with a good sized crowd of people filling up spots all over the place. They walked towards the hostess station. “Hi, party of four under Jon Snow,” Robb said loudly over the music.
The hostess smiled. “Follow me.”
Robb and Margaery followed the hostess as they weaved through the shifting crowd of patrons. She led them downstairs where it wasn’t quite as loud, but there was still a buzz of conversations happening. Down here there were a mix of booths along the walls and tables that could accommodate a decent sized party of people. They could see a booth where Jon was sitting with a blond woman at his side.
“Robb! Marge!” Jon called out with a wave.
Robb and Margaery took their seats in the booth as the hostess place two more menus in front of them. “Your server is Olly. Have a nice evening!” Everyone at the table thanked her before she left.
“Were you waiting long?” Robb asked Jon.
Jon shook his head. “We’ve only been here a couple minutes. Anyways, Robb? Margaery? This is Shella Rivers. Shella, this is my best friend Robb and his girlfriend, Margaery.”
Shella smiled warmly at them. “Hi, it’s great to finally meet you. Jon has mentioned you a lot in particular, Robb.”
Robb carefully observed her while tried not being too obvious about it. No doubt Margaery was going to do the same thing. Given the social circles and social rivalries that happened in The Reach, Margaery had to make sure she stayed on top of the social ladder against the other debutantes.
“Well to be fair, Jon and I have known each other for a long time. How old do you think we were when we first met? Two months old? Three?” Robb chuckled.
It wasn’t totally an exaggeration. Catelyn insisted that Lyanna feel free to drop off baby Jon with her so Lyanna didn’t have to worry about hiring a babysitter when she decided to go back to work. Lyanna often told Catelyn that she really saved Lyanna’s sanity knowing that her baby boy would be looked after and safe while she was busy helping Ned Stark at work.
Jon grinned at that. “We did know each other for a long time. I think we shared your crib when your mother put us down for naps. Wasn’t easy her watching after two babies at once.”
Robb waved his hand at that. “Nah, it was good practice for her raising five…” Robb cleared his throat. “… five of us.”
The moment grew a bit solemn at the reminder that Sansa was gone. Things got easier when Margaery spoke up. “So what did you do before you started working at WIA, Shella?”
Jon and Robb looked at Margaery appreciatively. Shella took the hint. “Well actually WIA is my first full time job after university. I was working temp jobs at an employment agency. I did internships and part-time jobs at school, but well it wasn’t easy once I got the diploma. I had done six temp jobs before I got hired at WIA. If I make it past the three month trial period, I’ll get hired permanently with full benefits. So far, they’ve only guaranteed me healthcare coverage and transportation, which from a temp worker’s perspective isn’t that bad considering.”
Margaery smiled. “I remember doing temp jobs too in between community theater gigs. It wasn’t always fun, but it was interesting still. I think in an odd way it really helped my acting.”
“Really? That’s interesting. How so?” Jon asked.
Before Margaery could answer a young man with blond a couple shades darker than Shella approached. “Evening, I’m Olly. Would anyone like a drink? Food?” He looked at each of them with a smile.
“I think we could get drinks now. What do you guys think?” Jon asked.
Shella nodded. “I know what I want. What about you two?”
“Oh we come here once in a while. We pretty much know what we want when we get here,” Robb explained.
“Right. I’m getting a bottle of Umberland ale,” Jon said.
Robb nodded. “I’ll have Umberland too. Did you want a cocktail, Marge?”
Margaery smiled. “I’ll have a Lys Love Potion.”
Shella thought for a moment. “I’ll have a glass of Arbor Gold.”
Olly nodded as he scribbled each order. “Anything to eat?”
Jon glanced at Shella. “You said you wanted to try the wings?”
Shella nodded. “They sounded delicious.”
Jon turned back to Olly. “We’ll start with a couple order of the Fire Wings and truffle fries.”
Olly nodded as he finished writing down their order. “All right. Do you want to keep a menu?”
Robb replied. “Yes thanks.” Olly took three menus with him.
“As I was about to say before, I actually spent as much time just observing people at those temp jobs as I was doing the job itself. It was a just like back at drama school when we had to do all those assignments picking random people and then imagining who they are, what their lives were like, what they’re think, etc. It’s good doing those sorts of exercises. It really allows me to better understand why someone acts and does what they do. It makes performances more realistic,” Margaery explained.
Shella smiled. “That’s really amazing. I wish I could do that. I guess the closest thing I ever did was when I was kid, I’d make up all sorts of imaginary worlds and stuff. Sometimes I scribbled them down in a notebook. But eventually those notebooks got tossed in the trash or something.”
Robb felt a pang at that. He too knew a little girl who wrote stories in her notebook. Except unlike Shella, they kept all of Sansa’s things. The only things they could bare to give away were her clothes to other little girls that could use them. Some of her toys were given away. However Arya fought tooth and nail to make sure none of Sansa’s stuffed animals went away.
“Sansa loved them. They’re my friends too. You can’t give them away!” young Arya yelled out in frustration. Catelyn Stark didn’t have the heart to fight with Arya about it. A part of her didn’t want to give away the stuffed animals either. Sansa did love them very much and she liked to use them in her games. Getting rid of them would be like throwing away Sansa.
A glance at Jon showed that he too was thinking the same way. As supportive as Margaery was then and now, Jon was the only non-Stark to truly understand how he felt about what happened to his father and sister. He knew that pain very well.
Soon enough Olly the server returned with their drinks. “Just another five minutes for your food to get here,” he reassured them before leaving to tend to another table.
“A toast to new friends!” Margaery said. She always was good at changing subjects when things got awkward.
“To new friends!” They all toasted.
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autumn-in-phandom · 7 years
Text
“Did Dan get TOO TAN?”
(Sept 19th 2017 Dan liveshow timestamps)  
0:03 After an awkward pause and salute: “Hello cyber friends” (instant regret and reflection)
0:29 (Dear god, don’t grab your laptop by the screen like that Dan.)
0:44 Grimace #1
1:06 No Dan, you do not look *atol* different. That tweet, title and pic are all just clickbait.
1:10 (Bronze my ass.)
1:19 Hitting us with that meme.
1:25 (Didn’t need to be in your face thanks. Teasing angles?)
1:36 “Never say Trumpy ever again, in any circumstance.”
1:45 Lovely pores and freckles.
2:00 Obviously everyone subscribes to YouTubers for their freckle content.
2:30 Livestreams are “a mistake” because of the chat clinging on to one thing and spamming it.
2:40 No probing or questioning at airport, big grin.
3:01 “The broadband is terrible but the 4G is great.” Okay…
3:17 “The toasty Dan experience”, orangish filter.
3:26 Double rhyme: “I guess that’s a rhyme, yeah that’s fine” (okay it’s a slant rhyme)
3:47 “Buttered crumpet Daniel.��
4:02 “Went to an island in the Mediterranean.” (This is exactly the answer I expected and quite frankly the only one he should give.)
4:09 “Literally did nothing for about six days, it was great.”
4:15 ‘I am Pilgrim’ book recommended by his mum.
4:30 Tricked into reading 900 page book.
5:00 Holiday was incredibly relaxing.
5:10 “Ordeal” getting there, delayed flight, three hours “traumatizing”
5:22 “Haha long boye” “literally, shins driving into my chest, bleeding” alright hyperbolic humor Dan. “Tough.”
5:38 “Violated” on flight by guy’s elbows, “no respect for personal space”, “fully leaning into me”, “didn’t even care”, “honestly an icon for all of us.” (Was it Phil?)
6:03 3 am, old driver, mini bus, cliff roads, did pre-ritual preparing for death.
7:00 “So much yogurt”, doesn’t know why.
7:05 “Assaggetti” tweet, we can shame him, “has the worst sense of humor in the world”, check it out and unsubscribe, doesn’t remember the language (Italian), apologizes, “constantly problematic”.
7:55 “Got that D from the S up above” (vitamin D, or Phil…)
8:16 Phil came on the holiday in case anyone didn’t know.
8:18 “He went from like glass to pale ivory, which is good”, “Phil is someome who erupts in freckles whenever he goes outside, so it’s hard to tell if he tans or if your eyes are just kinda like drawing the dots between the space all the freckles are, if you know what I’m saying.” (Wow, I… I’d like to think you mean what I know, but I’m not sure. Wow.)
8:37 Someone in the chat: “Nice Ursa Major on that cheek boy”. Turn, pose, laugh.
8:41 “The Bigger Dipper of my self esteem.”
8:53 Good day: watched Bake Off and answered emails, “thrilling”.
9:13 Tumblr likes, fan art, “beautiful to celebrate the great people.”
9:43 “The internet is not here”, laughs, sighs, apologizes.
9:55 Some peer pressure advice.
10:25 Had to check what his video title is.
10:35 I don’t know why he bothers to ask if we watched either.
10:55 Accept that he does things by his British calendar.
11:11 Why he didn’t he talk about uni stories when it was happening. Ashamed? Yeah, processing turmoil at the time.
11:55 Now shares traumatizing, terrifying, shameful, embarrassing stories straight away.
12:15 Rowing club guy AU… (not what I was thinking)
12:46 Laundry story: Phil was nice, Dan didn’t ask, *literally* ordered a cab, turned up with suitcase, Phil assumed he dropped out and was moving in, “I’ve had a day and I’m going to wash my socks in your washing machine.”
13:13 “If you struggle to function as a person-” (I really wish he had finished this sentence)
13:15 Asda sponsor for crying in the cheese aisle?
13:23 Pasta burn shaming (were you just never in the kitchen with your mum Dan?)
13:36 Dropping laptop so much recently.
14:00 Never taught cooking, laundry, accounting.
14:18 “No one told me shit!” (in Dan’s face again).
14:33 “What happens when I’m 23?! How do I do a tax?!”
14:54 It was ravioli (pretty sure the instructions mentioned water Dan…)
15:15 Thick as in stupid, not thicc fat booty.
15:30 “Look Fatima, we all have different life experiences, okay?” (lol)
15:36 “Ravioli ravioli, give me the death I deserveioli.” Relates.
15:45 Rihanna livestream, forehead fetishist? Wouldn’t mind if anyone leaves for that.  
16:08 Not up on BTS, DNA.
16:33 Shames Eden for “let me see that pastussy” comment, “leave.”
16:45 “Love on the Brain”. He really loves Rihanna, amazing, blessing, doesn’t give a shit, casual, informal, etc. “Bitch Better Have My Money.”
17:25 Is sure BTS video with be “pure and beautiful”, expects “softly applied eyeshadow and very fluffy hair”, he’s sure he’ll enjoy.
17:38 Maybe new gaming video/livestream tomorrow.
17:45 Overcooked, ironic kitchen fire, foreshadowing.
18:08 Wasn’t sure if he should get into Chinese guy story again, but he has to.
18:13 Deep breath: “It was 4 am, I’d been you know, well hydrated that evening, but I decided I needed another drink” go into the kitchen, everyone else was asleep, guy had a whole chicken, with neck and feet, fine but surprising, tiniest pair of white y-fronts, hacked head off and made eye contact, just couldn’t, usually would awaken some kink in him…
19:39 Pool pic, shout out to friend, no consent, relaxing, absorbing sun like a lizard, *basking*, fell asleep, lucky it was a pool and he didn’t drift out to sea, sun stroke vid reference, “the bad tan”.
21:08 People saying “trying to be cute”, the double chins (really?!)
21:21 The least Dan-like photo.
21:33 Thought it would ruin his Instagram aesthetic.
22:10 Lack of other content: relaxing, reading,
22:24 Took a couple other photos, sunset selfie, “no one’s going to take a photo of me” (what the hell happened to your personal photographer?) but then people came (please post, please!)
23:40 Bake off is his life, “Noel Feilding is a national treasure”, caramel was torture while hungry, faves are Liam and not!Val (what did he whisper about Liam? Really wanted him to be…?)
24:30 *Maybe* Halloween Baking, they don’t think that far ahead about anything.
24:48 Phil’s role in Dan’s video, mugging scene took nine takes, afraid to punch him. Outtakes please!
26:03 (grimace #2) “Hello Grandma, my name is Daniel, I’m a wholesome person, that’s a very great influence”
26:16 Wachowski films
26:23 Dan floating in donut plushies would be very challenging.
26:33 Dan flips a bit at the idea that’s it’s weird to like people who don’t know who you are. Uses Ed Sheeran as example.
26:55 Scrolls past person who said they feel better when they have a dream about Dan and Phil.
27:17 Cared more about YouTube than university socializing and class, Pom Bear Massacre reference, made Tumblr account.
29:09 Chapped lips, season changed the moment he stepped off the plane.
29:42 “Okay Universe, I know I can be a bit of a downer, sometimes.”
29:51 Haley Barry Storm powers
30:08 Yes the furry blanket comes out, polyester, sad pimp, Marks & Spencer.
31:06 Ready for everything seasonal, autumnal Yankee Candle range, not haute, but fun themes.
31:31 Frisbee laptop across the room on to the bed, missed.
31:46 Candle haul, yes it is content we need right now!
32:26 Furry invasion on Splatoon, scaley, yiffing proposition, “this is a family game”, not shaming just concerned for kids, though it is hentai-esque…
33:27 Sonic: 2010 reminiscing, formatting of boxes.
34:04 Was stupid side kick, Phil being good, Dan trying to be helpful, actual just a cheerleader, Phil was disgusting, doesn’t know if Phil even knew what he was saying (of course he did).
34:38 Didn’t know uni vid was trending
34:52 Reflection (I think that’s the piano nook)
35:00 Weird because of swearing, someone at YT didn’t watch the vid, “Ah, keep doing that, don’t watch my videos, just know that I’m a good person…”
35:25 “I make great friendly content.” (grimace #3)
35:30 Explains why trending isn’t automatic. Yes, think of the children.
36:05 “But hey, I’m not bad, everything’s fine”.
36:45 “People of all genders do and don’t wear makeup”.
37:10 (I’m pretty sure that the no candles with birds is because of the fumes.)
37:25 What is with the nose touching when confirming Spooky Week? “Next video (nose touch) soon, don’t worry”…?
38:28 “Fans of everything are annoying, that’s just what happens when people are enthusiastic about stuff.”
39:19 Dan doesn’t get annoyed by different fandoms. Says more about the people being annoyed, part of their own insecurity, their lack of community, togetherness, celebration, shared experiences, jealous or sad, or maybe everyone just everyone’s annoying.
39:56 Dream Daddy: so dangerous saying Dilddy. Dan likes Damien, great taste, immaculate presentation, probably not Dilddy’s romantic soulmate.
40:31 Dan is in like ten fandoms (makes a face).
40:45 Chat: “Will Phil become a furry, what’s your fursona?” Dan: “Is it time to go?”
40:55 Has never thought about it, promises he’ll get on it soon, he knows what the internet wants from him.
41:31 Chat full of fursona suggestions. He’s going to start crying.
41:52 “A llama fucking hell.” “Look at the time.”
42:01 Going to go into a (not disturbing) hole later looking into axoltl fur suits.
42:24 Elf on a shelf meme, was going to post a Dan one, “old meme!” (Still don’t need to be up in your face Daniel.)
43:27 Really wants to go see IT, needs to see Mother.
44:04 Shut up! American Horror Story, makes him happy. Loves Sarah Paulson (is his life), feels represented by a lesbian with anxiety. Evan Peters is great, looks gross, or great depending.
45:25 His fursona should be a big bear, I agree. What a reaction.
45:46 Left comb on holiday, looks like a bush.
46:13 (grimace #4 at group chat names.)
46:20 “What is wrong with all of you?”
46:22 Glosses over diet ask. Indeed.
46:26 “Don’t call me Uncle Dan when we’re talking about fursonas.”
46:36 “If you live in Australia vote for marriage equality, we don’t need to have this conversation.” “Come on, come on Australia, sort your shit out.”
47:03 Going to “innocently Google things that are fine”.
47:22 “Me and Phil would love to come to Russia”.
47:27 Limitations of TATINOF.
47:44 Watch uni vid: “Don’t take it too seriously. Remember that most of the time I’m just trying to be funny, and if you ever want like my real feelings or opinions, just think about whatever the opposite of what I’m saying is, and that’s usually how to get to the sincere heart of whatever Dan’s talking about.”
48:13 “Stay calm, ask some senpais for some life advice and think carefully about what your fursona should be.”
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deadcactuswalking · 5 years
Text
REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 23rd June 2019
Typically I’d call a week where we have two top 10 debuts pretty busy but when that and a couple Drake songs are basically all we have, it’s not that big of a deal... but these very few new arrivals will have a lot to unwrap, so part of me thinks this won’t be a short episode at all.
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Top 10
There were three songs I figured would definitely make a play for the top spot this week thanks to both star power and controversy. None of them even got close, because Ed Sheeran and Justin Bieber are still at number-one for a sixth week since its debut. There’s a better Ed Sheeran song in the top 10, can we get that up instead?
Stormzy’s “Vossi Bop” is only moving up two spaces this week because of the collapse of the songs above him, but I’m not complaining his boost to the runner-up spot.
Similarly, Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is up two spaces to number-three.
Unfortunately, this boost has lead Lewis Capaldi’s “Hold Me While You Wait” up an identical set of placements to number-four.
Now, we have the first guess I had for number-one, and that is “You Need to Calm Down” by Taylor Swift, which debuted at #2 in America, becoming her 13th Top 10 hit over here in the UK. We’ll talk more about this one later, and it’s definitely a can of worms I’m worried to open.
The Chris Brown song debuting last week, “No Guidance” featuring Drake, has also had a two-space boost up to number-six, because of Drake and not because of the fading relevance of Chris Brown.
Oddly, “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus has taken a hit five spots down to number-seven, but I really doubt this won’t be rebounding because of Nas’ EP that released last week.
Now this was my second guess for number-one, “Cross Me” by Ed Sheeran featuring Chance the Rapper and PNB Rock, up a singular space to number-eight this week. I think it’s a lock for the top five next week considering the video release, but we’ll see.
At number-nine, we have the late Avicii’s “SOS” featuring Aloe Blacc down two positions.
Finally, my third guess for number-one and one I’m surprised performed as it did. This is Little Mix’s “Bounce Back”, and that title is quite ironic but more on that later. Nevertheless, it’s their 14th UK Top 10 hit since their debut, and we’ll talk more about the song itself when it comes to it.
Climbers
There aren’t all too many here, but what is here I’m not exactly complaining about at all, because these are songs I really like. “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike, which is an insanely good song, has had a pretty large 10-space boost to #21, and I’ve  been rooting for this to get into the top 20 for a while now. There’s also last week’s debut which I quite liked, “Strike a Pose” by Young T & Bugsey featuring Aitch up five to #25, but that’s pretty much it. I wouldn’t usually note a song which is up four spaces either, but “Ladbroke Grove” by AJ Tracey is at #22 now and I am rooting for this song so much, I am not giving up until this hits #1, it’s an outstanding song.
Fallers
Now we have a lot more of these to say the least. Starting in reverse order, “What Do You Mean?” by Skepta featuring J Hus is down 14 to #39, with “Greaze Mode” also by Skepta featuring Nafe Smallz down nine to #37 and “All Day and Night” by Jax Jones and Martin Solveig presenting EUROPA featuring Madison Beer down a whopping twenty-four spaces to #34 thanks to streaming cuts. We also have “Heaven” by the late Avicii featuring Chris Martin down eight spaces to #28 (The quicker the better), “Shine Girl” by MoStack featuring Stormzy down 10 spots to #23, “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi unfortunately not switching its spot with another Capaldi single as it’s down five to #17, speaking of, “Someone You Loved” is finally out of the top 10, down eight to #11, but I feel it’ll be back again when Little Mix drop off a bit.
Dropouts & Returning Entries
MoStack is proving his lack of longevity compared to Skepta as both of his album bomb hits from last week, “I’m the One” featuring Fredo and “Stinking Rich” featuring Dave and J Hus, are out from #39 and #19 respectively – probably because they weren’t any good in the first place. We also have the absolute collapse for Liam Gallagher’s “Shockwave” out from #22, but I don’t expect post-Oasis Gallagher singles to ever have any legs, so it’s fine. Thanks to hype dying down about the Detective Pikachu film the song was made for, “Carry On” by Kygo and Rita Ora is out from #35 and I don’t expect it to come back. Oh, and that Jonas Brothers song, “Sucker”, is out from #40 – finally. We do actually have a returning entry also, because “Summer Days” by Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy is back to #36. A lot of the songs outside the top 20 are showing promise actually, I’m definitely seeing a lot of improvement within the Top 40 and I’m excited for these to become fully fledged Summer hits. I’m also glad to hear a Macklemore verse on the charts again. This dude gets too much slack.
“ALBUM” BOMB?
Drake – The Best in the World Pack
This isn’t exactly an album but it’s an EP or single or whatever, a two-pack? I don’t know, but it’s Drake debuting two songs from the same project, so I’m going to count this as the third episode in a row with an album bomb. Drake’s “Best in the World Pack” is just a group of two trap bangers to celebrate the win of the Toronto Raptors, or whatever, I don’t care about American or in this case Canadian sport, I just have to review the music every week.
#33 – “Omertá” – Drake
Produced by OZ, EY and Deats
This is Drake’s 48th UK Top 40 hit, which is something I didn’t think could even possibly happen but sure, let’s go with it. This is one extended verse which a pretty janky guitar-lead trap beat behind it, with gliding strumming and an organ, it’s not all that awful of a production, but then Drake bores me insanely with his ramblings about “Mob tradition” because of course, he has mob ties (Lotta ties, lotta tieeeeeees) and he really wants us to know. So, he brings up Pusha T in his monotonous, droning delivery as he would typically do, with flows that sound like he’s just thinking of it on the spot and not really putting any effort in to connect his bars, in a typical Drake way where he develops the rhyme scheme by halting the momentum of his verse completely. There’s no mention of the Toronto Raptors, it’s just about him and honestly, it’s just something we’ve heard so many times before. The self-proclaimed “Petty king” doesn’t really have any interesting bars mostly because he doesn’t attempt wordplay. He’s just stating “I’m rich and got mob ties” a lot of the time, and then his verse literally fades out, but it sounds like it was right in the middle of a bar and he wanted to continue, but the producer cut him off. I don’t know, I don’t care.
#13 – “Money in the Grave” – Drake featuring Rick Ross
Produced by Cydney Christine, Ljay Currie and Asoteric
This beat was produced by an Instagram model, and is Drake’s 49th UK Top 40 hit, as well as Rick Ross’ something or other, I’m not going to bother counting especially since the Wikipedia page doesn’t list UK as a section in his featured singles so I’d have to go page by page. But yes, as expected with no-name producers, this beat isn’t any interesting and feels like a pretty non-subtle way of blending the new West Coast bounce that is very prominent now but keeping it safe with a menacing trap beat so it’s not as jarring and can age better than the people who really care about the culture and making West Coast hip hop about their experiences in that environment. Oh, but this song also kind of bangs to be honest with you. It’s a bit too non-existent for my taste, and by that I mean Drake’s vocals are mixed a tad too loud, I feel, and while his bars usually connect, they often feel a bit too much like sentences that just drift away from one ear to out the other, although some of them I remember because they’re especially kind of dumb, where he uses the fact that he’s friends with Max B to hit Kanye with another jab as well as saying he’s going to get a face tattoo, which Drake is definitely a bit too safe for. Also, he says this:
I got two phones, one need a charge / Yeah, they twins, I could tell they ass apart
How do these two lines make sense together? I don’t like to nitpick but Drake’s a rapper rapper so I feel the need to say that these lines directly juxtapose each other.
Anyway, this song is shorter than “Omertá” and actually has a chorus, yet is somehow just as boring, because Drake is way too dull to carry a beat this safe and only slightly West Coast-tinted so it has no real bounce, since it’s still grounded in a stilted trap beat. Rick Ross sounds half-asleep but his verse is pretty good, I especially like his inflections on “Bounce” and everything that rhymes with it. Also, his guest verse tag, the “M-Maybach Music”, will always be fire. I hope his pear diet is going well, but overall this just isn’t very interesting. How about we bring back a segment we haven’t done in a while just to show what real charisma and energy is in trap?
FEATURED SINGLE
“Lalala” – Y2K and bbno$
Produced by Y2K
Y2K is a producer who I haven’t heard much from, but the Canadian MC bbno$ is from the same camp as meme-rapper Yung Gravy, but I’d like to think they’re more than a meme and instead just rappers who use humorous and comedic deliveries to propel their punchlines and that’s never more evident than it is with bbno$’s breakout track that was released off of the back of a viral marketing campaign, “Lalala”. This song is dripping with carefree attitudes towards the music and shows how they’re actually having fun, which is something I didn’t notice with Drake and Rick Ross at all this week. The song starts with a short back-and-forth outtake from the recording sessions, which isn’t distracting enough to feel unwarranted on repeat listens, especially since it just takes eight seconds for that beat to drop and it wastes absolutely no time to get into it. The beat is a slick trap production infused with bouncy Latin guitar and occasional beeping noises, with bbno$’s delivery really shining out as he essentially just has three different choruses. The chorus is insanely catchy and he rides the beat with his high-pitched, somewhat mocking tone but the “verses” (Which feel like a different chorus) has an even more fun, somewhat emo-influenced flow, which I noticed because of the nasal tones of his voice and lack of need to really enunciate a single word he says. It’s not like the content is all that interesting, but there are quirks about it that really show his background as a meme/comedy-rapper, especially the use of the word “Wristicle” and instead of directly bragging about all the stacks he’s throwing, he starts the first verse with flexing his stable credit card score, with even some cool wordplay about Canada thrown in there. The nonsense chorus is so fun, and even when he breaks out of the two typical flows for a more typical triplet flow he puts on an accent and just runs out of words to say, but instead of feeling incompetent (Which it still kind of is but that’s the point), this feels like the dude is actually having fun and you know, enjoying his job and his lavish lifestyle – which, by the way, is probably not that lavish. The dude says the word “Wristicle” several times in the chorus, do you REALLY think he’s getting any?
EDIT: I have just found out he does not say “Wristicle” and instead says “Wrist, it go”. My headcanon is better. But yeah, check this out, it has a pretty kicking Latin groove behind the trap beat and mocking lyrics, it’s great.
NEW ARRIVALS
#10 – “Bounce Back” – Little Mix
Produced by Swiff D and Stargate – Peaked at #2 in Scotland
I can’t help but think this is pretty seriously underperforming. Okay, sure, a top 10 debut is nothing to scoff at, but history’s told us you expect a Little Mix single to hit the top spot, so after “Woman Like Me” stalled at #2 and the album wasn’t as successful (Although still massive), I have full belief that they’ve made the worst decision possible, having a rushed single to alleviate fears of falling off, and sadly that often leads to even less success with that single and album. The last time they made a comeback, it was special, but this is an afterthought single. Oh, yeah, well, the song isn’t all that awful, it’s got a pretty fun bounce reminiscent of both trap and New Orleans hip hop of the 90s, although it does feel like a pretty cheap, manufactured rendition. You can REALLY tell this is one of these rushed singles, as the vocal mixing isn’t as flashy as usual, in fact the whole song is really odd, to be honest. After Jesy’s rap verse about taking Vitamin D (That hasn’t been done before, I’m sure), there’s a meaningless pre-chorus from Jade that just repeats a bunch of words that don’t really add anything to the song at all, like I’m fine with bland lyrics but come on, it’s just a bunch of faux-female empowerment/sex song buzzwords, before a really janky chorus that just sounds like one of the girls but it’s apparently all of them? They have an interpolation of “Back to Life” by Soul II Soul, but since the production is too lowkey and minimalistic, the chorus taken straight from that track, a much more glamorous and over-the-top song, it doesn’t work being translated to a moody sex song, in fact the fact that it’s four girls on the chorus probably makes it so much worse than just having Perrie, the more audible one. Then there’s a plastic-ass sax solo and I give up, this really isn’t even trying to have a pop spectacle anymore. Big Sean did it better. Also, I have started watching Celebrity Gogglebox specifically for when this band appears on the charts, because then I can know the names and any Mixers who find my blog won’t get mad at me for accidentally calling one manufactured pop star by the name of another manufactured pop star. When their onstage personalities are this similar, I don’t feel the need to care. The only one that shines out to me is Jesy because she’s the most obnoxious and genuinely awful, mostly because she tries to rap and AAAAAAAAAAAA
#5 – “You Need to Calm Down” – Taylor Swift
Produced by Joel Little and Taylor Swift – Peaked at #1 in Scotland and #2 in the US
Can I skip this one as well? No? Okay, well, first of all, I do not like this song’s lyrical content not because I’m a raging homophobic hillbilly as the video may suggest. In fact, I think the video’s got a larger issue than the song itself, where she uses slang inherited from both black LGBTQ+ as well as stan culture to get her point across, as it paints all of the people who are negative towards LGBTQ+ culture, and no it’s not a generic empowerment anthem, she explicitly says the word “gay” in the pre-chorus, as poor and just Texan hillbillies without a sense of fashion. First of all, nobody’s protesting Taylor Swift of all people, so I have a sense that this is making the issue about herself. Second of all, we should be fighting the people in power with backwards ideals, and I feel like she doesn’t know who is actually suppressing the community, which would be the people up top who are making the laws and controlling society from their government buildings, making decisions for what’s “best” for America, and they’re usually not just hicks who’ve never seen a grand in their lives to say the least, they’re usually suit-and-tie types with net worths that’d make the Monopoly man cry himself to sleep. Also, I feel like once again, she makes the video about herself. The scene where she makes up with Katy Perry in fast food costumes is supposed to be cute but it takes away from the message at hand and really just distracts from the actual topic, which is, you know, LGBTQ+ communities and oppressed communities as a whole, not Katy freaking Perry. This type of pandering content from the 1% usually bothers me and profits aren’t going to charity, but she is giving to them and she is being vocal about these issues so what am I to complain? She’s bringing LGBTQ+ people (Most already in the spotlight) to the spotlight—oh wait, yeah, that’s dumb, the video is less of a profitable pride parade and more of both a PR statement and a misguided attempt that just ends up as a “Bad Blood”-type celebrity cameo frenzy. The song isn’t any good either, it’s a pretty bland synth-pop track that directly rips off “Paper Planes” by M.I.A., which, to be fair sampled its bassline from the Clash, but I can’t listen to this song without thinking of the beautiful jacksfilms video  comparing the two songs. Also, “you need to calm down”? “You need to just stop”? What a powerful statement, that is, Taylor(!), and your disinterested rap flows don’t help, with corny lines about taking shots at HER, let me repeat, HER, like it’s Patron and the haters just being mad, when they can be... GLAAD. Sigh.
Conclusion
I spent some time talking about how I was excited for the Summer hits, but none of these debuts are good. At all. That’s pretty great though because none of them sound like they’ll stick around except Taylor, and we all know how “ME!” is doing so maybe not even that. Worst of the Week goes to Taylor Swift for “You Need to Calm Down” and we have a tied Dishonourable Mention to Little Mix and Drake for “Bounce Back” and “Omertá”. Uh, I guess Best of the Week can go to Drake for “Money in the Grave”, but trust me, that is because of Rick Ross and no one else. Follow me on @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and I’ll see you next week!
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trulycertain · 7 years
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The Shield Raised Masterpost
May also be of interest: The Great Big Masterpost (everything I’ve ever written on Tumblr) The Armour masterpost (F!Amell/Alistair) The An Unquenchable Flame masterpost (F!Trevelyan/Cullen) The Knight Shop masterpost (multi-writer modern AU)
Shield Raised is a series of drabbles about my stoic, awkward Trevelyan, Gal, and his romance with Dorian. a.k.a., “A Marcher nearly-templar, a Tevinter altus, and a slow understanding.” The Inquisition-era ones (though not the pre- and post-game ones) are collected on AO3 here.
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Pre-Inquisition
sans peur et sans reproche: Basically, Gal’s angsty backstory. Chantries, angry young men and controlling mothers.
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Haven
Rejection: The Herald has barely spoken since he arrived. (Josephine, Gal and the beginning of a tentative friendship.)
Futures: Dorian thinks the supposed Herald of Andraste is rather… odd.
The Measure: Dorian, Gal and a slow understanding. Also Dorian working out. Because apparently that’s important?
Drinking with the Tevinter: The Inquisition isn’t happy having someone from the Imperium in its ranks. Gal feels rather differently.
Questions and Answers: Gal gets upset and a bit drunk and finally opens up about his past. That’s pretty much it.
pictures in the snow: The attack on Haven and Gal’s apparent death.
Skyhold
Crossing: Turns out Gal’s alive. Cue Skyhold, UST and a step forwards.
Mamihlapinatapei: Promptfic. Mamihlapinatapei - The look between two people in which each loves the other but is too afraid to make the first move.
Sweet Nothing: The companions attempt to be helpful because the UST is getting painful to watch. Gal and Dorian do not appreciate it, but it gives them food for thought.
Liminal: Dorian tries to deal with being chucked into the Fade, and then with his father, and lines are crossed. Angsty as hell, even by Shield Raised standards.
Out Of My Head: Post-Last Resort Of Good Men. Dorian gets drunk, tries not to snog Gal and is homesick.
Answers: In which they finally spit it out. Only took them 21k.
Rumours:  A revised and improved rewrite of “Answers.” Blech, kissing.
Attachment: Some fluff, some angst, some snogging. In the aftermath of That Kiss, Gal and Dorian try to work out what this thing between them is.
Truths: Homesickness, making out, and Dorian playing the “what, of course I’m not falling for him, what do you mean I called him amatus, I don’t even know what that means” game.
Promises: “Wishing but wondering, wounded and wistful. What if he doesn’t want me after?” A seduction, and Dorian waiting to get his heart broken. As usual.
the light of day: In which all the companions have an opinion. Of course.
Chess: Gal gets trounced at chess by a twelve-year-old. Oh, and he and Irene talk about happiness.
Pretexts:  SFW, despite subject matter. Gal attempts to find time to do some “paperwork.” Said paperwork has a moustache.
Gifts, and surprises: Two short drabbles for the prompts “Did you do this?” and “So uh. I noticed you’re kinda naked. Is that intentional, or… ?” Gal and Dorian attempt to be spontaneous, with varying levels of success.
Sers: SFW, but written for #sexlaughterhonesty Week and the theme “coitus interruptus”. In which a messenger is privy to too much.
A Request: Short snippet. Josephine and Gal, pre-Winter Palace.
Formality: Why they got scruffy!Gal at Halamshiral, despite Josephine’s wishes.
A letter found on the Inquisitor’s desk: For the Dragon Age 100 prompt “Family.” Gal and an old friend from the Chantry days.
The Golden Floor: Halamshiral fluff, and why dancing can sometimes be an act of bravery.
Kohl: The adventures of Gal and Dorian and their battles with eyeliner. Does a little bit of timeline-hopping.
Mornings: On waking up together and Gal’s ridiculously large bed.
Mutual Domesticity: “You didn’t think I lived in leathers, did you?”
Maps: Short promptfic for “kisses meant to distract the other person from whatever they were intently doing.“
Dignity: Very daft fluff. Gal’s battles with the Helm of the Inquisitor. And prima sandwicha.
Ironically, Zombie Spider: What it says on the tin. Dorian really, really needs to stop idle magic experiments.
For Now:  The Arbour Wilds fallout, and the “I’m going back to Tevinter” conversation. Angst, 5.1k.
“So if Gal’s 'amatus’, what does he call you?” Very short headcanon drabble thing.
Post-game
A Problem: Spans from shortly after their meeting to post-game. About 7k. Dorian and his struggles with The Dreaded L Word.
The Hangover: The big “we survived” celebration. Gal finally gets truly, astonishingly drunk, and emotional honesty happens. Much to his horror. Also: sorbet.
Malapert: Promptfic. Malapert - Clever in manners of speech.
“I love you” - said loudly, so everyone can hear
The Trespasser hair: Short, silly headcanon drabble.
Trespasser
Worst Case Scenario: Angsty AU drabble where Trespasser was even more difficult for Gal and Dorian. I let these two be happy sometimes. I promise.
Green: How Trespasser actually went. Truthfully, it’s not much less angsty than the AU.
Post-Trespasser
on the turning away: Leaving, and coming back.
Depth Over Distance: Gal, Dorian and managing the long-distance thing. Partly epistolary. Also, the return of Erren.
The Trespasser hair, part two: Gal has opinions on long-haired Dorian.
“I love you” - said as a thank you
Pain: Gal gets another tattoo. Dorian has… thoughts on it. Written for a Dragon Age 100 Challenge prompt.
A Question: What it says on the tin.
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AUs
it’s running you with red: A short, miserable red-templar!Gal drabble.
Birthright (AO3): Another of the not quite fairy tales: the Cinderella AU no-one asked for. In a world where things happened slightly differently, Dorian takes a masked ball as a chance to covertly investigate this Inquisition he’s heard so much about. It’s only one night. Not much can go wrong. Can it? (Spoiler: The answer is yes. Or it can go very, very right.)
“Omnia mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis.” (All things change, and we change with them.) For a prompt. In which a time travel experiment goes wrong and Dorian ends up meeting a very sad eighteen-year-old stuck-in-the-Chantry Gal.
Reprise: Or “the one where Gal freaks out and breaks up with Dorian in Trespasser because he is an idiot, and they have to sort things out nearly two years later.” Ten-parter (there is a lot of mess to sort out). Over at AO3 | On Tumblr: Part 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |  Angsty extra drabble | 9 | 10
That very silly modern AU where they met at Yvaine’s wedding
Antivan Brandy: “I’d make an excellent spy. Charming, handsome, perfect teeth and hair…”
july forever (AO3): These visiting Tevinters are going to be fundamental for trade. The Trevelyans' son is under no circumstances to do anything stupid or inappropriate to embarrass the family, like seducing any of their foreign guests. Unfortunately, said Tevinters' son has rather different ideas.The "angry young men have a doomed summer romance" AU.
The Knight Shop stuff (modern-ish fluff-ish AU)
Terms & Conditions - The problem with distinguished old houses is that they tend to fall down around your ears when ignored for a decade. Dorian needs a handyman (possibly a whole squad of them). Gal is... well, a one-man most-of-a-squad. Or a knight.
Revenge - Gal’s all pink round the edges due to the Shop’s newest customer. Time for Alistair to tease him relentlessly about it. “I didn’t know ‘seventeenth-century villain’ was your type, but whatever works for you…”
“The washing machine broke, I almost lost my keys, the car got dented, and a wasp got into the house and hijacked the bedroom for four days! Four. Days.” Promptfic. The Knight Shop AU I will someday write properly with these two.
A to B - That time Dorian ended up on the back of Gal’s bike. Yeah, really.
DELETED SCENES
The First Round - Very important shirtless *cough* plot.
Happiness - Gal, Irene and a game of chess
Graphic depictions of cuddling
If asked, “When did you first fall in love?” both Gal and Dorian will struggle to answer the question.
OUTTAKES
Tru and Gal get a pint together, part one
Tru and Gal get a pint together, part two
“Only one orgy?”
Very, very bad jokes
HEADCANONS/COMMENTARY
Gal headcanons and history
More headcanons/extra info on Gal
Why Gal is called Galahad
Half-asleep Gal
Haircanons - Gal’s “phases” after DAI
Ten questions for Gal
Pros and cons of dating Gal (what pros?)
Gal and romance
Gal vs. TVTropes
Gal/Dorian couple-y silliness
Gal, Dorian and the bedroom (not quite as unsafe for work as it sounds)
Erren headcanons and info
Dorian headcanons (very general, but might tell you a bit about how I write him)
Dorian totally had a punk phase (Knight Shop/modern AU, I guess?)
Shield Raised and horses
Chev Trev The Horse
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otisoverturf · 5 years
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Glenn Danzig: ‘We’re Not Gonna Do Many More’ Misfits Shows
Frazer Harrison, Getty Images
Glenn Danzig was the guest on Full Metal Jackie’s weekend radio show. It’s been a busy time for the musician of late, as he’s directed a dark new film called Verotika while also polishing off his long anticipated Elvis covers album, Danzig Sings Elvis.
Jackie spoke with Glenn about both projects, as well as his continued run of Misfits reunion shows, his thoughts on touring and also gets a positive message from the rocker on mortality. Check out the chat in full below.
Let’s talk about your directorial debut premiering at Cinepocalypse. What similarly, though telling stories through songs, do you notice while making a movie?
It’s not a lot. It’s much different. Doing a feature film is a lot of work. So, if you do a feature film, you really gotta love doing films because it’s a lot of work, and it’s a big chunk outta your life. So, pretty much, since last July, I’ve been working on this film.
Wow, nonstop?
Well, yeah. Doing all the pre-production and then filming it. We filmed for about three weeks, and then it’s all the editing after that, and then the effects, and then going in to post and doing color and sound and all the other stuff. It’s just a long process.
Now that you’ve gone through all of it and it’s at this point would you do it again? Did you enjoy it?
There are things I enjoyed about it, and there are things I didn’t enjoy about it. But, I said I think I’m gonna do three movies and then decide if I want to keep doing it.
So you’re not going to take it from just the first one that you’re doing.
I’m gonna do three. I’m already getting ready to do my next one which is a vampire spaghetti western. Everybody’s vampires in it. So after that I’ll see what I wanna do. Then I’m gonna sit and decide if I wanna keep doing it or not.
Glenn, visual arts have always been an important part of what you do. What aspects of that background were helpful in making Verotika?
I started out doing art and then doing photography when I was a kid and then just moved into eventually directing music videos and documentary kinda stuff. So it was always there, but eventually, I got the opportunity to do it. A lot of the movies I like are very visual movies and it’s a story being told besides what the dialogue is doing, so that’s important to me. Visual is really important. I don’t think there’s enough importance placed on visuals in a lot of new movies. Lighting is important in effect. Lighting can create an effect in your mind when you look at it, so it’s a lot of that.
Rather than doing a tour, Glenn, Misfits shows are happening more selectively. Why is it important to you to keep them standalone events?
Well, I don’t tour anymore anyway. Maybe I’ll put together like a week or two shows here on the West Coast, or maybe on the East Coast and that’s it. With the Misfits thing, we just kinda got back together and just decided we’d do it here or there, and just not make it a grind kinda tour. We just want to make each event special. We’re not gonna do many more. I know we just announced Seattle and Denver, but I’m pretty sure there’s not gonna be many more of them.
So people should see it while they can because, I know, next year I go out with Danzig again for Europe and may do some dates here in the States. I gotta do a Danzig Sings Elvis thing – select shows maybe around the country. Those will be more special. There’s no seating. It’s all tables. It’s gonna be a very cool kind of old school vibe. This year I’ve got some time off in between working on the movie, so we decided to do a couple extra shows. Then, that’ll be it I think for a while.
The Misfits were a part of the second wave of punk back in New York City. What’s different about the way people react to those songs now?
I don’t know. Our shows were pretty violent. You said we were part of the second wave, and I didn’t really know what to call it. It was fast and it was angry, and it was violent, and people didn’t know what to call it. So, eventually it became called hardcore, and then a lot of people started lifting stuff that we had done. So, I think if it wasn’t for those bands, you wouldn’t have speed metal for sure. I know I’m right. I don’t think I’m right. I know I’m right.
We touched on the Elvis covers. The album is due out later this year, correct?
Yeah, in the fall.
Can you talk about what impact Elvis made on you as a kid, and how it still effects you now?
Yeah, I’m still a big Elvis fan. I still like discovering Elvis stuff I haven’t heard before cause he recorded so much, and then all the outtakes that they released now on his label are great. I don’t have a screechy high metal voice. I have a deeper voice. So the stuff that I like listening to a lot of times was that kinda stuff. I’ve said it before, but after seeing Jailhouse Rock when I cut school, ’cause school was boring for me. I’d just stay home and watch movies. I saw Jailhouse Rock, and I was like, that’s what I wanna do. It ended up working out okay.
So that was the defining moment?
Yeah, that was where I was like this is what I wanna do. If I could do something like this, that’ll be cool.
So the album is coming out later this year and then you said that the tour or few dates would happen early next year?
Yeah, not gonna do a tour. We’ll probably do like L.A. or San Francisco, or New York, or maybe we’ll go to Austin or maybe we’ll go to Houston or something like that. I’m not gonna hop on a bus and do a bunch of Elvis dates. It’s not gonna happen, you know.
That’ll make it more special.
Yeah, so we’ll probably do Vegas, for sure, and that’s what I have slated for 2020 is Danzig going to Europe, and some of these Danzig Elvis shows here and there and working on this next film. So, I don’t think there’ll be much time for any OG Misfits shows.
So get out to those shows until there are no more.
And you never know … look how crazy the world is right now. It’s just so …
What are you getting at Glenn, are you getting morbid about life?
I’m not morbid about it. If it happens, it happens. I just live my life every day and enjoy it.
I like that, but you are right. We all could die two weeks from now.
Just in the last year, so many crazy things with people I know and things that have happened. It’s like you never know what’s gonna happen tomorrow, so enjoy today.
Those are words to live by. Positive words to live by, just unexpected.
Is it positive? Yeah.
It is. I think it is. Live your life, enjoy it, you don’t know how long you’ve got left.
Yeah, get off the computer and go out and experience the real world.
Speaking of computers, I have to say, if it wasn’t possible for me to love Glenn Danzig any more, but now I do because he has a flip phone and that brings it all full circle and I just love that.
Yeah, the phone tracking, and listening in and everything and all the hacking. I don’t need it. I don’t really want the flip phone. I don’t want people to get in touch with me when I’m out and about.
What if you’re out and about and your car breaks down?
Well, probably, your cell phone’s not gonna work in the middle of the desert anyway. [laughs]
Also, what if you’re someplace and you need an excuse to have to go and you call your friend and say, “Hey make the call so I can get out of here?”
I don’t do that. I just say, “I’m getting out of here, bye.” [laughs]
Glenn, your career continues to be extremely prolific. What’s been the biggest sacrifice you’ve made to be able to do everything that you’ve done?
A personal life.
You don’t feel like you have one?
Not as much as I would like to. I mean, I’m always working and always doing stuff. It’s a lot of responsibility sometimes.
Do you say, “OK I’m only going to work until 11PM tonight.” Or when you feel inspired, you just …
No, part of that. When I get inspired I’ll do it until I am exhausted. But other times I’ll know I have to do stuff and I make sure I will get it done. If something good is happening, I’ll just drop and just burn the candle and finish it later.
Do you find yourself having to cancel plans a lot because you’re inspired and you don’t want to stop what you’re doing?
Sometimes, yeah.
That’s a good excuse. Who can say, “But Glenn, you promised”?
I explain it to them and if they understand, great. And if they don’t, then that’s life.
Get out and see these shows because you might not live long enough to see if they happen again. [laughs]
Thanks to Glenn Danzig for the interview. Keep an eye out for the ‘Danzig Sings Elvis’ album coming this fall and stay tuned for future ‘Verotika’ screenings following its recent Cinepocalypse premiere. As for the Misfits, get ticket info on their Los Angeles, Denver and Seattle stops here, and stay up to date on all Glenn Danzig’s happenings here. Find out where you can hear Full Metal Jackie’s weekend show here. 
66 Most Important Moments in Metal History
The post Glenn Danzig: ‘We’re Not Gonna Do Many More’ Misfits Shows appeared first on Social Juicebox.
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digitalmark18-blog · 5 years
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How to Take Good Instagram Photos on Your Phone: The Ultimate Guide
New Post has been published on https://britishdigitalmarketingnews.com/how-to-take-good-instagram-photos-on-your-phone-the-ultimate-guide/
How to Take Good Instagram Photos on Your Phone: The Ultimate Guide
Ever wondered how to take good Instagram photos? How foodies snap their mouth-watering brunch flatlays? Or how fashion bloggers always make the colors in their #OOTD really pop?
If you’re feeling a bit jelly because your photos and Instagram Stories always seem to look flat, the good news is you don’t need to splash cash on an expensive DSLR to take the perfect Instagram photo.
Your phone has everything you need to take the perfect Instagram snap, you just need to get back to basics—the basics of photography, that is. So get ready to step up your Instagram strategy with these tap-worthy techniques.
The ultimate guide to taking good #Instagram photos on your phone #socialmediamarketing Click To Tweet
How to take good Instagram photos: Get to know your camera phone
Seriously, spend some time really exploring your phone’s camera features and click through all the settings. You might think you know your camera like the back of your hand, but after 5 minutes reviewing how it works you might come across a setting you hadn’t noticed before.
1. Lock in the exposure
When you take a photo of something in the shade set against a sunny sky, cameras either make the subject too dark or the sky too bright. Fortunately, there’s a simple trick to fixing this—underexposing your photo.
To underexpose your shot on an iPhone, tap and hold the brightest area of the screen. A yellow square will appear along with “AE/AF LOCK,” which means you’ve just locked in the auto exposure and auto focus for your shot.
Now you can move your camera around to compose your photo and get the perfect snap!
You might be thinking, why would I want a dark photo?! When your photo is over-exposed, there’s no way to fix it. But if you have an under-exposed shot, you can easily brighten the dark bits of the image with editing later.
2. Turn off HDR
HDR (High Dynamic Range) aims to fix the problems with over and underexposure, promising the best of both worlds so you can take good Instagram photos. The problem is, HDR doesn’t always deliver.
Basically, what HDR does is take a bunch of different exposures of the same photo and then splice them together in one detailed photo. But if you want to take good Instagram photos, they can look unnatural and your colors off-balance. So keep your snaps simple and turn this feature off.
3. Consider using a lens attachment
If high quality images are important for your brand, getting a lens attachment for your phone can make all the difference to the look and feel of your photos. A wide-angle lens, for example, lets you fit in more detail and create a greater sense of perspective, especially if you’re into travel photography.
There are many different types of lenses you can buy for smartphones; everything from telephoto and wide-angle lenses to fish-eye and macro kits that work on both the front and rear-facing cameras. If you just want an easy way to expand your phone camera’s capabilities, a clip-on lens set is an affordable option worth trying.
4. Get a waterproof case
For travel bloggers, it’s worth investing in a high quality waterproof case. Your phone will be protected against the elements and you’ll be able to take the kinds of underwater shots that get all the likes.
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North Sumatra doing its best Maldives impression… 📷 @ryzphoto @aurasurfresort @worldsurfaris Shot with @cmthousings . . . . . . . . . . . . #surfing #freediving #island #surfphotographer #travel #travelling #traveller #surftravel #underwater #surfphotographer #travelphotographer #surfer
A post shared by Ryan Williams (@ryzphoto) on May 3, 2018 at 11:10pm PDT
Photography basics: How to take good Instagram photos
There are two over-arching conventions of photography you need to practice if you want to take the perfect Instagram photo: composition and lighting.
Composition
Composition is all about how you put together all the visual elements in your photo. Unfortunately, most people don’t really use their eyes before taking a snap! Instead of taking a hundred photos before settling on the “best” one, take a moment to look at the scene and really think about how you could take good Instagram photos with what’s in front of you.
Look at the subject, consider what’s in the background, and think about how you could best frame your photo. Also, take a second to check for anything that might be distracting (are there any potential photo bombers or reflections in the image?).
You want your image to direct the viewer’s eye to the subject of your photo while capturing a story or emotion. Patterns, textures, symmetry, asymmetry, depth, lines, curves, contrast, color, negative space, and shapes are all elements of composition that can take what might otherwise be a boring photo and give it visual punch.
Here are a few other things to keep in mind in order to take good Instagram photos:
1. Follow the rule of thirds
The rule of thirds is one of the first things you learn when studying photography. Basically, it refers to a simple method for balancing an image. It divides a photo into a 3×3 grid and the idea is that you’re meant to align the subject of your photo along the lines and intersections of the grid to create balance.
Phones usually have a grid setting, so go ahead, turn it on, and experiment with how you compose your shots.
Here’s a great example of how the rule of thirds has been used to compose an image of a woman sitting on a cliff, her body perfectly lined up with the left line of the grid.
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Sometimes the thing we are afraid of doing is the one thing that will set us free…✨💙 @willandbear
A post shared by Hello Emilie (@helloemilie) on May 24, 2017 at 2:15am PDT
On the flip side, here’s an example of symmetry, with the waffle perfectly centered in the middle of the grid:
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💜 | The Glass Den | @theglassden . No Such Thing As Mondayitis 😏 . Strawberry Cheesecake Waffle – Strawberry Crisp Pearl, Raspberry Soil, Fresh Wild Berries, Strawberry Cream Cheese & Raspberry Meringue, Served On Strawberry Cheesecake Gelato 🍓🍓🍓 . Location – Coburg . CLICK ON THE LINK IN BIO – SIGN UP 👇 TO FIND OUT THE HOTTEST PLACES TO EAT IN MELBOURNE www.melbournebreakfastdiary.com.au Credit @thereddressmelb
A post shared by Melbourne Breakfast Diary (@melbournebreakfastdiary) on Sep 10, 2018 at 12:30am PDT
2. Use depth
Rather than just focusing on the subject of your photo, use layers with patterns and textures in the background to create a sense of depth. This draws viewers into your image beyond the subject, with each layer helping create a sense of atmosphere and movement.
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A split second moment of pure freedom somewhere in the Swiss Alps..
A post shared by Jason Charles Hill (@jasoncharleshill) on Mar 1, 2018 at 5:14am PST
3. Level the horizon
There’s nothing worse than a beautiful photo of a sunset with the horizon slightly off-center. It completely ruins the image! Instagram’s own editor lets you fix this, so if you want to take good Instagram photos and they have straight lines or angles—maybe a horizon or ocean—be sure to straighten them so they are perfectly level.
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Old snap from the archives in #Perth 🌞🌊
A post shared by Jason Morey (@jasonjrmorey) on Apr 16, 2018 at 9:17pm PDT
4. Think about perspective
Instead of taking your photos at eye level, consider how you might be able to move the camera or your body to capture it from a more interesting perspective. Try crouching to shoot from below, standing on a chair to take your photo from above, getting up close or further back.
Often, if you want to take good Instagram photos the best ones capture a subject from a different or unexpected angle. So take the time to position yourself and your camera rather than taking your snap straight on.
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The World is our Piece of Art, take care of it ♡⠀ ————⠀ How's your weekend Salties?! We are finishing up our Oman video and blogs and planning new trips. Get ready 😏
A post shared by HANNAH & NICK / 𖤥 BALI (@saltinourhair) on May 19, 2018 at 6:56am PDT
5. Use white space
You don’t necessarily need to fill your whole screen in order to take good Instagram photos. Think about how you could best use white space—aka negative space, or the area around the subject of your image—to help steer the viewer’s eye to the most important part of the photo.
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Outtake from a new campaign for Kester Black. Concept and styling by @jess_lillico. Full set of images on the @kesterblack website ✌🏻️
A post shared by Sean Fennessy ✌🏻 (@seanfennessy) on Aug 1, 2016 at 4:26pm PDT
6. Direct the eye
In photography, “leading lines” refers to the lines in an image that naturally direct the eye. These include paths, roads, forests, and buildings. Using leading lines lets you take the viewer by the hand and walk their eye to the focus of the image.
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Back exploring one of my favourite places in Australia to take time to breathe and surrounded myself with complete wilderness… ✨🍂 @tasmania @qantas #DiscoverTasmania
A post shared by Hello Emilie (@helloemilie) on May 2, 2018 at 10:49am PDT
Lighting
Lighting can make or break an image when you’re trying to take good Instagram photos. There’s nothing more disappointing than taking a great selfie with your mates and then later discovering the background is over-exposed and your faces are so dark you can’t see anyone’s features.
Before you take your shots, consider the lighting and how you could best use it to your advantage to bring out the colors in your photos.
1. Use natural light
If you want to take good Instagram photos, snap them indoors near windows with great natural light, or outside in daylight. Natural light provides the best clarity and colors for your photos, as well as helping keep them sharp and the lines crisp.
There are so many different ways you can use natural light to your advantage. Shooting your subject with light straight on is flattering, while subjects lit from the side look more 3D. Light can also add texture to images, create a moody effect, and from below can make subjects look scary.
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Shot Samuel Johnson after his Logie win. A lovely chap. – – – @samueljjohnson78 @loveyoursister @thebrunnyhotel #logies2017 #loveyoursister @heraldsunphoto #nikon📷 #Brunswick
A post shared by Eugene Hyland (@eugenehyland) on Apr 25, 2017 at 5:03pm PDT
2. Make the most of golden hour
Golden hour is just after sunrise and just before sunset when the sun is low on the horizon and light in the sky appears warmer and softer. It’s a magical time for photographers and offers the perfect light for soft shadows and beautiful color contrasts. Some even call golden hour “nature’s Instagram filter.”
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Good morning from the pilbara ~ last night we camped on an island and woke to this magic ✨💫 life is complete.
A post shared by ✨ C a r l y 🌙 (@carlyjaneandersson) on Jul 3, 2018 at 4:12pm PDT
3. Don’t be afraid of cloudy days
Natural light doesn’t automatically mean you need sunshine to take good Instagram photos. Direct sunshine can actually make taking a great snap harder than it needs to be thanks to harsh glare.
So if you’re outside, make the most of cloud cover—it can help diffuse sunlight, creating a softer and often more flattering effect.
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#Shanghai 2014 🚴
A post shared by Jason Morey (@jasonjrmorey) on Jul 26, 2016 at 7:01pm PDT
4 Classic types of Instagram photos
You’ve seen them all before, the quintessential Instagram photo “types” that always seem to pop up on the platform. They’re popular and like-inducing for a reason—these photos are taken with great care, using lighting and composition to create a beautiful image.
Let’s take a look at how you can compose and edit your images for similar results.
1. Foodie flatlay
Flatlay food shots look so simple yet can be difficult to get right. Here are some tips to help you take the perfect flatlay.
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💜 | Long Story Short | @longstoryshortcafe . Sunday Vibes ✌️ . Location – Brunswick . SIGN UP 👇 TO FIND OUT THE HOTTEST PLACES TO EAT IN MELBOURNE www.melbournebreakfastdiary.com.au Photo Credit @katnt
A post shared by Melbourne Breakfast Diary (@melbournebreakfastdiary) on May 26, 2018 at 8:15pm PDT
Resist eating your food right away! You want your dishes to look perfect, so hold off eating for just a couple of minutes.
Look for tables with interesting textures.
Remove anything from the table that might detract from the photo, like a stray wallet, phone, or dirty fork.
Watch out for any shadows that you and your phone might be casting across the food.
You don’t need to crowd every dish fully into the frame—it’s okay to cut a dish in half as the viewer’s eye will automatically fill in what’s missing.
When you’re editing, dial up the contrast, exposure and sharpness just a bit to really make your colors pop.
2. Tiny human in a big world
This type is a favorite of travel photographers who want to take good Instagram photos. A beautiful, wide landscape with a teeny tiny person in the distance isn’t just awe-inspiring, but it’s also fairly easy to snap.
Venture out into the wilderness for this type of shot. National parks are your best bet for big landscapes.
If you want to take good Instagram photos, do it during golden hour when you’re going to have the best light.
Use the rule of thirds to compose your photo so it’s evenly balanced.
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Wild times in the land of ice…
A post shared by Jason Charles Hill (@jasoncharleshill) on Jun 28, 2017 at 8:15am PDT
3. Wall backdrop
Standing someone in front of a wall instantly makes them the focus of your photo.
Put your subject smack bang in the center of your photo. You want them to be the focus, not the wall.
If the wall is colorful, bring out the colors a bit during editing. Increase the saturation and warmth and experiment with the dials to see what looks best so you can take good Instagram photos.
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🍰
A post shared by Darren (@thecitygrammer) on Aug 16, 2018 at 5:21am PDT
4. Back to the camera
Taking good Instagram photos with your back to the camera from a distance throws up a couple of challenges. For a start, where do you put your phone? Also, how do you actually take the photo?
Use a mini tripod or a Gorilla Grip. Full-size tripods aren’t exactly convenient to carry around, whereas smaller adjustable tripods can be wrapped around railings and tree branches.
Use the self-timer mode on your photo or, better yet, get a Bluetooth remote for your phone.
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Dreams come true in @peru • Sheer granite rising thousands of feet above the raging rapids of the sacred Urubamba river and surrounded by towering Andean mountains with lush dense forest, the archaeological site of Machu Picchu is one of the most mysterious and breathtaking places in the world. Captivating – – doesn’t even come close 💫🌿✨ #visitperu // Did you know Machu Picchu has multiple structures that perfectly align with the position and influence of the stars throughout the year? Ps – just making little friends around the world. ❣️#machupicchu
A post shared by Melissa Findley (@melissafindley) on Jul 29, 2018 at 3:49am PDT
3 Best Instagram editing apps
Once you’ve taken your photo, that’s only half your work done—it’s time to edit your image. There is a multitude of editing apps available, all with easy to use features and filters. The following are three of the most popular apps around.
1. VSCO
VSCO was one of the first image editing apps for smartphones and continues to be one of the most popular. It’s a beautiful, easy to use app with dozens of filters and all the basic tools you need for adjusting contrast, saturation, highlights, shadows, temperature, along with many more advanced settings.
For a consistent look and feel across your Instagram account, choose a few presets that suit your style and stick with those for all your images.
2. Snapseed
For serious phone photographers, Snapseed offers professional-level photo editing features combined with an intuitive interface, courtesy of Google. It has dozens of editing tools, from simple settings for adjusting brightness and highlights to advanced settings for touching up specific areas of your photos.
Snapseed also has tools you won’t find in other apps; you can adjust the “ambiance” of your photos for moodier or softer shots, use the brush tool to brighten, darken, or saturate part of your photo, or use the healing tool to remove blemishes from people’s faces.
3. Adobe Lightroom CC
Adobe’s suite of photography software is arguably the best on the market and ideal for professional photographers. Similarly, the company’s mobile version of Lightroom CC provides a lightweight adaption but with the advanced editing capabilities, you would expect from Adobe.
The app feature powerful presets and is packed with tons of tools, enabling you to edit almost every little detail in an image. But what’s really special about this app is the built-in camera, which allows you to see presets in action while you’re taking a shot.
You’re ready to start taking good Instagram photos!
Now it’s your turn. Go out into the world and put the tips and advice we’ve covered here and start taking tap-worthy photos. Like anything in life, practice makes perfect! So take the time to experiment and find the techniques that you feel comfortable using before launching your first Instagram promotion.
Editing can make a good photo great, so play around with the different editing apps available and stick with the one that best suits your photography style so you can create good Instagram photos.
Don’t forget to write a good Instagram caption to go with your photos! They give your images context, let you show off your brand’s personality, connect with your target audience, and compel your followers to take action.
Lastly, don’t go too crazy with your photos! You don’t need to spend hours and hours taking and editing images. At the end of the day, you’re using Instagram to connect with people, raise brand awareness and visibility, and promote your product or service. So make sure you put just as much time into engaging with followers and reviewing your analytics for long-term Instagram success.
Good #Instagram photos are just one piece of the puzzle; for long term success, make sure your #Instagrammarketing strategy includes time for engaging with followers Click To Tweet
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beautytipsfor · 6 years
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About that Omarosa book: This is what complicity looks like
Everyone is the hero of their own story — but in telling that tale, people often reveal much more about themselves than they realize. That is true of autobiographies in general, and of Unhinged by Omarosa Manigault Newman more than most.  The tell-all book, released Tuesday by the famous former reality show star and communications staffer, has plenty of beans to spill on the dysfunction and casual racism of Donald Trump and his White House.  It's also the story of how the kind of person who seems to think in soundbites could help elect and participate in such an administration without ever really knowing what she was doing. And how, even after reflecting for a year, that person thinks she can avoid doing much soul-searching about her role.  In short, it's a case study in complicity.  SEE ALSO: The 10 most unhinged parts of Omarosa's 'Unhinged' Omarosa doesn't actually call herself complicit anywhere in Unhinged. She did say she was "totally complicit" in a new interview with The Daily Show's Trevor Noah, but said "I didn't go [into the White House] thinking we were going to lie" — a fact that ignores the lies told on the campaign trail, recounted in her book.  She also said she was "complicit in deceiving this nation" in a Meet the Press interview, but quickly pivoted to how everyone in the Trump administration lies all the time. There's not even a sliver of daylight into which a mea culpa can creep.  The book is full of pivots like that — so speedy in spinning our attention away from questions about her moral obligations, it'll give you whiplash.  In the chapters that function as a 2016 campaign diary, Omarosa is repeatedly "troubled" by Trump's racially-charged statements. She is "concerned" by the arrival of campaign chief and alt-right guru Steve Bannon. Disturbed by the "classic dog-whistle racism" in Trump's acceptance speech, she resolves to tell the candidate that "words matter."  But so far as the reader knows, she never actually does that. In the next paragraph, she and Trump slap each other on the back for their success in winning the nomination.  Later, prepping for three disastrous presidential debates, Trump fails to retain any of the anti-racist talking points she feeds him. But not to worry! Time to wipe her cares away by filming an episode of Say Yes to the Dress.  After the Access Hollywood tape dropped, SNL ran a musical parody that features Omarosa quitting the campaign; she watches and laughs and dances around the room, utterly missing the message.   This habit of skimming along the surface of things (and focus on racking up her "media hits") continues once Trump is in power. Scanning the sea of white faces around her on Inauguration Day, still troubled by Trump's recent attack on Civil Rights legend John Lewis, Omarosa solemnly "made a vow that day to increase diversity in Trumpworld."  How she planned to do that, we don't know; she spends the next few pages gushing about the size of her new office in the West Wing. Scouring the detritus of the Obama administration, she scores a 60-inch flat-screen TV with split-screen programming built in, so she could watch all the cable news networks (plus C-SPAN!) at once.  Did Omarosa actually swing the election? Although many post-White House autobiographies are ghost-written, that doesn't seem to be the case here. It's not just that Omarosa boasts of the "strong writing skills" she picked up from a journalism professor; it's that a ghost would surely save her from being so terribly, repeatedly, unintentionally ironic.  The greatest irony is that Omarosa presents herself as having the skills to be so much more than a malevolent mouthpiece. A hardscrabble student who took herself from food-stamp poverty to Howard University, she was ambitious and service-minded. She shook off the horror of her father's and her brother's untimely death. In her 20s, she worked in Al Gore's office before moving to the Clinton White House.  But she'd been winning beauty pageants too — a part of her biography that gets very downplayed here — and the siren call of television turned out to be stronger than that of public service. When The Apprentice was announced, she threw herself into studying Trump like he was a PhD course; her audition tape was a shoo-in.  He became a mentor and she learned exactly what he had: stir conflict, never apologize, and they'll make you a star.  It seems likely that Donald Trump would never have been elected without Omarosa Manigault Newman. Not only did his ratings suffer when she wasn't on the show, but her "diversity outreach" on his campaign probably made all the difference in the world. She got Trump into black churches in key districts when he really didn't want to go.  For some in the African-American communities of Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, the mighty Omarosa was a persuasive voice — and as we should never, ever forget, Trump won by a grand total of 77,000 votes in those three states.  It didn't have to happen like this. In 2015, still a registered Democrat, Omarosa was hard at work fundraising for the Ready for Hillary PAC — the stand-in for the Hillary Clinton campaign before she announced. But after she did, the African-American finance committee of Ready for Hillary wasn't rewarded with the positions on the campaign they'd been promised by someone close to the candidate.  It was a slight she would not forget, and Trump called at just the right time. Suddenly she was somebody again — a surrogate in her friend's campaign, persuading herself that the anti-Mexican comments he made straight out of the gate were "racial rather than racism," whatever that means. Besides, she thought, he would never actually win.  In an alternate universe where one PAC staffer was offered a role on the Hillary Clinton campaign, Newman is writing a tell-all memoir about all the scandals in the second Clinton White House.  Back in this universe, a Democratic celebrity who once told Hillary fundraisers to "get behind this sister" ended up telling "every critic, every detractor" to "bow down to President Trump ... the most powerful man in the universe."  The latter comment is something she curiously omits altogether from Unhinged. ADD vs. the KKK Once everything starts to go south in the Trump White House, Newman cuts a pathetic figure. She repeatedly tells us she had "one foot out the door" before another month's worth of narrative goes by. Like the protagonists of Waiting for Godot, her vague desire to move never gets her anywhere.  Not even the nightmare of Charlottesville, a resurgent and murderous Klan full of what Trump called "very fine people," can cause her to do more than wring her hands. She's distracted by fears that her mentor is losing his mental faculties, by a conference she's putting on, by pointless little personality feuds with Kellyanne Conway (for whom Newman reserves her cattiest remarks) and Betsy "Ditzy" DeVos, by the whole clown car.  It's not just the shadow of the KKK that stalks the Trump administration; it's also this kind of ADD.  Omarosa hung around long enough that new Chief of Staff John Kelly was able to fire her on a technicality; some nonsense about using an official car for the Congressional baseball game. She claims the firing was really because she was hot on the trail of an Apprentice outtake tape in which Trump allegedly uses a racial slur. But this is the fuzziest, most-choppily edited part of a very edited narrative, and Newman has already changed her story on whether she's actually heard this tape or not.  The irony here is that a principled post-Charlottesville resignation would have put Newman in the glare of the media spotlight she craves; it would have made everything all about her in a good way. Why didn't she?  To hear her tell it, the answer is "loyalty," but Newman isn't exactly a reliable narrator at this stage. The reader can see she's conflicted, and it's part of a conflict that permeates her life. Is she built for service — such as the ministry she was called to in her post- Apprentice, post-Hollywood life — or for merrily skimming along the surface of things, not caring about the mess in her wake?  Instead of confrontation at a crucial moment, she opts for cowardice, which amounts to complicity — and a cautionary tale for generations. The only thing required for evil to triumph, it turns out, is that a reality show star said nothing. WATCH: Sarah Huckabee Sanders' most ludicrous moments as press secretary
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Everyone is the hero of their own story — but in telling that tale, people often reveal much more about themselves than they realize. That is true of autobiographies in general, and of Unhinged by Omarosa Manigault Newman more than most.  The tell-all book, released Tuesday by the famous former reality show star and communications staffer, has plenty of beans to spill on the dysfunction and casual racism of Donald Trump and his White House.  It's also the story of how the kind of person who seems to think in soundbites could help elect and participate in such an administration without ever really knowing what she was doing. And how, even after reflecting for a year, that person thinks she can avoid doing much soul-searching about her role.  In short, it's a case study in complicity.  SEE ALSO: The 10 most unhinged parts of Omarosa's 'Unhinged' Omarosa doesn't actually call herself complicit anywhere in Unhinged. She did say she was "totally complicit" in a new interview with The Daily Show's Trevor Noah, but said "I didn't go [into the White House] thinking we were going to lie" — a fact that ignores the lies told on the campaign trail, recounted in her book.  She also said she was "complicit in deceiving this nation" in a Meet the Press interview, but quickly pivoted to how everyone in the Trump administration lies all the time. There's not even a sliver of daylight into which a mea culpa can creep.  The book is full of pivots like that — so speedy in spinning our attention away from questions about her moral obligations, it'll give you whiplash.  In the chapters that function as a 2016 campaign diary, Omarosa is repeatedly "troubled" by Trump's racially-charged statements. She is "concerned" by the arrival of campaign chief and alt-right guru Steve Bannon. Disturbed by the "classic dog-whistle racism" in Trump's acceptance speech, she resolves to tell the candidate that "words matter."  But so far as the reader knows, she never actually does that. In the next paragraph, she and Trump slap each other on the back for their success in winning the nomination.  Later, prepping for three disastrous presidential debates, Trump fails to retain any of the anti-racist talking points she feeds him. But not to worry! Time to wipe her cares away by filming an episode of Say Yes to the Dress.  After the Access Hollywood tape dropped, SNL ran a musical parody that features Omarosa quitting the campaign; she watches and laughs and dances around the room, utterly missing the message.   This habit of skimming along the surface of things (and focus on racking up her "media hits") continues once Trump is in power. Scanning the sea of white faces around her on Inauguration Day, still troubled by Trump's recent attack on Civil Rights legend John Lewis, Omarosa solemnly "made a vow that day to increase diversity in Trumpworld."  How she planned to do that, we don't know; she spends the next few pages gushing about the size of her new office in the West Wing. Scouring the detritus of the Obama administration, she scores a 60-inch flat-screen TV with split-screen programming built in, so she could watch all the cable news networks (plus C-SPAN!) at once.  Did Omarosa actually swing the election? Although many post-White House autobiographies are ghost-written, that doesn't seem to be the case here. It's not just that Omarosa boasts of the "strong writing skills" she picked up from a journalism professor; it's that a ghost would surely save her from being so terribly, repeatedly, unintentionally ironic.  The greatest irony is that Omarosa presents herself as having the skills to be so much more than a malevolent mouthpiece. A hardscrabble student who took herself from food-stamp poverty to Howard University, she was ambitious and service-minded. She shook off the horror of her father's and her brother's untimely death. In her 20s, she worked in Al Gore's office before moving to the Clinton White House.  But she'd been winning beauty pageants too — a part of her biography that gets very downplayed here — and the siren call of television turned out to be stronger than that of public service. When The Apprentice was announced, she threw herself into studying Trump like he was a PhD course; her audition tape was a shoo-in.  He became a mentor and she learned exactly what he had: stir conflict, never apologize, and they'll make you a star.  It seems likely that Donald Trump would never have been elected without Omarosa Manigault Newman. Not only did his ratings suffer when she wasn't on the show, but her "diversity outreach" on his campaign probably made all the difference in the world. She got Trump into black churches in key districts when he really didn't want to go.  For some in the African-American communities of Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, the mighty Omarosa was a persuasive voice — and as we should never, ever forget, Trump won by a grand total of 77,000 votes in those three states.  It didn't have to happen like this. In 2015, still a registered Democrat, Omarosa was hard at work fundraising for the Ready for Hillary PAC — the stand-in for the Hillary Clinton campaign before she announced. But after she did, the African-American finance committee of Ready for Hillary wasn't rewarded with the positions on the campaign they'd been promised by someone close to the candidate.  It was a slight she would not forget, and Trump called at just the right time. Suddenly she was somebody again — a surrogate in her friend's campaign, persuading herself that the anti-Mexican comments he made straight out of the gate were "racial rather than racism," whatever that means. Besides, she thought, he would never actually win.  In an alternate universe where one PAC staffer was offered a role on the Hillary Clinton campaign, Newman is writing a tell-all memoir about all the scandals in the second Clinton White House.  Back in this universe, a Democratic celebrity who once told Hillary fundraisers to "get behind this sister" ended up telling "every critic, every detractor" to "bow down to President Trump ... the most powerful man in the universe."  The latter comment is something she curiously omits altogether from Unhinged. ADD vs. the KKK Once everything starts to go south in the Trump White House, Newman cuts a pathetic figure. She repeatedly tells us she had "one foot out the door" before another month's worth of narrative goes by. Like the protagonists of Waiting for Godot, her vague desire to move never gets her anywhere.  Not even the nightmare of Charlottesville, a resurgent and murderous Klan full of what Trump called "very fine people," can cause her to do more than wring her hands. She's distracted by fears that her mentor is losing his mental faculties, by a conference she's putting on, by pointless little personality feuds with Kellyanne Conway (for whom Newman reserves her cattiest remarks) and Betsy "Ditzy" DeVos, by the whole clown car.  It's not just the shadow of the KKK that stalks the Trump administration; it's also this kind of ADD.  Omarosa hung around long enough that new Chief of Staff John Kelly was able to fire her on a technicality; some nonsense about using an official car for the Congressional baseball game. She claims the firing was really because she was hot on the trail of an Apprentice outtake tape in which Trump allegedly uses a racial slur. But this is the fuzziest, most-choppily edited part of a very edited narrative, and Newman has already changed her story on whether she's actually heard this tape or not.  The irony here is that a principled post-Charlottesville resignation would have put Newman in the glare of the media spotlight she craves; it would have made everything all about her in a good way. Why didn't she?  To hear her tell it, the answer is "loyalty," but Newman isn't exactly a reliable narrator at this stage. The reader can see she's conflicted, and it's part of a conflict that permeates her life. Is she built for service — such as the ministry she was called to in her post- Apprentice, post-Hollywood life — or for merrily skimming along the surface of things, not caring about the mess in her wake?  Instead of confrontation at a crucial moment, she opts for cowardice, which amounts to complicity — and a cautionary tale for generations. The only thing required for evil to triumph, it turns out, is that a reality show star said nothing. WATCH: Sarah Huckabee Sanders' most ludicrous moments as press secretary
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orendrasingh · 6 years
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Everyone is the hero of their own story — but in telling that tale, people often reveal much more about themselves than they realize. That is true of autobiographies in general, and of Unhinged by Omarosa Manigault Newman more than most.  The tell-all book, released Tuesday by the famous former reality show star and communications staffer, has plenty of beans to spill on the dysfunction and casual racism of Donald Trump and his White House.  It's also the story of how the kind of person who seems to think in soundbites could help elect and participate in such an administration without ever really knowing what she was doing. And how, even after reflecting for a year, that person thinks she can avoid doing much soul-searching about her role.  In short, it's a case study in complicity.  SEE ALSO: The 10 most unhinged parts of Omarosa's 'Unhinged' Omarosa doesn't actually call herself complicit anywhere in Unhinged. She did say she was "totally complicit" in a new interview with The Daily Show's Trevor Noah, but said "I didn't go [into the White House] thinking we were going to lie" — a fact that ignores the lies told on the campaign trail, recounted in her book.  She also said she was "complicit in deceiving this nation" in a Meet the Press interview, but quickly pivoted to how everyone in the Trump administration lies all the time. There's not even a sliver of daylight into which a mea culpa can creep.  The book is full of pivots like that — so speedy in spinning our attention away from questions about her moral obligations, it'll give you whiplash.  In the chapters that function as a 2016 campaign diary, Omarosa is repeatedly "troubled" by Trump's racially-charged statements. She is "concerned" by the arrival of campaign chief and alt-right guru Steve Bannon. Disturbed by the "classic dog-whistle racism" in Trump's acceptance speech, she resolves to tell the candidate that "words matter."  But so far as the reader knows, she never actually does that. In the next paragraph, she and Trump slap each other on the back for their success in winning the nomination.  Later, prepping for three disastrous presidential debates, Trump fails to retain any of the anti-racist talking points she feeds him. But not to worry! Time to wipe her cares away by filming an episode of Say Yes to the Dress.  After the Access Hollywood tape dropped, SNL ran a musical parody that features Omarosa quitting the campaign; she watches and laughs and dances around the room, utterly missing the message.   This habit of skimming along the surface of things (and focus on racking up her "media hits") continues once Trump is in power. Scanning the sea of white faces around her on Inauguration Day, still troubled by Trump's recent attack on Civil Rights legend John Lewis, Omarosa solemnly "made a vow that day to increase diversity in Trumpworld."  How she planned to do that, we don't know; she spends the next few pages gushing about the size of her new office in the West Wing. Scouring the detritus of the Obama administration, she scores a 60-inch flat-screen TV with split-screen programming built in, so she could watch all the cable news networks (plus C-SPAN!) at once.  Did Omarosa actually swing the election? Although many post-White House autobiographies are ghost-written, that doesn't seem to be the case here. It's not just that Omarosa boasts of the "strong writing skills" she picked up from a journalism professor; it's that a ghost would surely save her from being so terribly, repeatedly, unintentionally ironic.  The greatest irony is that Omarosa presents herself as having the skills to be so much more than a malevolent mouthpiece. A hardscrabble student who took herself from food-stamp poverty to Howard University, she was ambitious and service-minded. She shook off the horror of her father's and her brother's untimely death. In her 20s, she worked in Al Gore's office before moving to the Clinton White House.  But she'd been winning beauty pageants too — a part of her biography that gets very downplayed here — and the siren call of television turned out to be stronger than that of public service. When The Apprentice was announced, she threw herself into studying Trump like he was a PhD course; her audition tape was a shoo-in.  He became a mentor and she learned exactly what he had: stir conflict, never apologize, and they'll make you a star.  It seems likely that Donald Trump would never have been elected without Omarosa Manigault Newman. Not only did his ratings suffer when she wasn't on the show, but her "diversity outreach" on his campaign probably made all the difference in the world. She got Trump into black churches in key districts when he really didn't want to go.  For some in the African-American communities of Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, the mighty Omarosa was a persuasive voice — and as we should never, ever forget, Trump won by a grand total of 77,000 votes in those three states.  It didn't have to happen like this. In 2015, still a registered Democrat, Omarosa was hard at work fundraising for the Ready for Hillary PAC — the stand-in for the Hillary Clinton campaign before she announced. But after she did, the African-American finance committee of Ready for Hillary wasn't rewarded with the positions on the campaign they'd been promised by someone close to the candidate.  It was a slight she would not forget, and Trump called at just the right time. Suddenly she was somebody again — a surrogate in her friend's campaign, persuading herself that the anti-Mexican comments he made straight out of the gate were "racial rather than racism," whatever that means. Besides, she thought, he would never actually win.  In an alternate universe where one PAC staffer was offered a role on the Hillary Clinton campaign, Newman is writing a tell-all memoir about all the scandals in the second Clinton White House.  Back in this universe, a Democratic celebrity who once told Hillary fundraisers to "get behind this sister" ended up telling "every critic, every detractor" to "bow down to President Trump ... the most powerful man in the universe."  The latter comment is something she curiously omits altogether from Unhinged. ADD vs. the KKK Once everything starts to go south in the Trump White House, Newman cuts a pathetic figure. She repeatedly tells us she had "one foot out the door" before another month's worth of narrative goes by. Like the protagonists of Waiting for Godot, her vague desire to move never gets her anywhere.  Not even the nightmare of Charlottesville, a resurgent and murderous Klan full of what Trump called "very fine people," can cause her to do more than wring her hands. She's distracted by fears that her mentor is losing his mental faculties, by a conference she's putting on, by pointless little personality feuds with Kellyanne Conway (for whom Newman reserves her cattiest remarks) and Betsy "Ditzy" DeVos, by the whole clown car.  It's not just the shadow of the KKK that stalks the Trump administration; it's also this kind of ADD.  Omarosa hung around long enough that new Chief of Staff John Kelly was able to fire her on a technicality; some nonsense about using an official car for the Congressional baseball game. She claims the firing was really because she was hot on the trail of an Apprentice outtake tape in which Trump allegedly uses a racial slur. But this is the fuzziest, most-choppily edited part of a very edited narrative, and Newman has already changed her story on whether she's actually heard this tape or not.  The irony here is that a principled post-Charlottesville resignation would have put Newman in the glare of the media spotlight she craves; it would have made everything all about her in a good way. Why didn't she?  To hear her tell it, the answer is "loyalty," but Newman isn't exactly a reliable narrator at this stage. The reader can see she's conflicted, and it's part of a conflict that permeates her life. Is she built for service — such as the ministry she was called to in her post- Apprentice, post-Hollywood life — or for merrily skimming along the surface of things, not caring about the mess in her wake?  Instead of confrontation at a crucial moment, she opts for cowardice, which amounts to complicity — and a cautionary tale for generations. The only thing required for evil to triumph, it turns out, is that a reality show star said nothing. WATCH: Sarah Huckabee Sanders' most ludicrous moments as press secretary
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About that Omarosa book: This is what complicity looks like
Tumblr media
Everyone is the hero of their own story — but in telling that tale, people often reveal much more about themselves than they realize. That is true of autobiographies in general, and of Unhinged by Omarosa Manigault Newman more than most. 
The tell-all book, released Tuesday by the famous former reality show star and communications staffer, has plenty of beans to spill on the dysfunction and casual racism of Donald Trump and his White House. 
It's also the story of how the kind of person who seems to think in soundbites could help elect and participate in such an administration without ever really knowing what she was doing. And how, even after reflecting for a year, that person thinks she can avoid doing much soul-searching about her role. 
In short, it's a case study in complicity. 
SEE ALSO: The 10 most unhinged parts of Omarosa's 'Unhinged'
Omarosa doesn't actually call herself complicit anywhere in Unhinged. She did say she was "totally complicit" in a new interview with The Daily Show's Trevor Noah, but said "I didn't go [into the White House] thinking we were going to lie" — a fact that ignores the lies told on the campaign trail, recounted in her book. 
She also said she was "complicit in deceiving this nation" in a Meet the Press interview, but quickly pivoted to how everyone in the Trump administration lies all the time. There's not even a sliver of daylight into which a mea culpa can creep. 
youtube
The book is full of pivots like that — so speedy in spinning our attention away from questions about her moral obligations, it'll give you whiplash. 
In the chapters that function as a 2016 campaign diary, Omarosa is repeatedly "troubled" by Trump's racially-charged statements. She is "concerned" by the arrival of campaign chief and alt-right guru Steve Bannon. Disturbed by the "classic dog-whistle racism" in Trump's acceptance speech, she resolves to tell the candidate that "words matter." 
But so far as the reader knows, she never actually does that. In the next paragraph, she and Trump slap each other on the back for their success in winning the nomination. 
Later, prepping for three disastrous presidential debates, Trump fails to retain any of the anti-racist talking points she feeds him. But not to worry! Time to wipe her cares away by filming an episode of Say Yes to the Dress. 
After the Access Hollywood tape dropped, SNL ran a musical parody that features Omarosa quitting the campaign; she watches and laughs and dances around the room, utterly missing the message.  
youtube
This habit of skimming along the surface of things (and focus on racking up her "media hits") continues once Trump is in power. Scanning the sea of white faces around her on Inauguration Day, still troubled by Trump's recent attack on Civil Rights legend John Lewis, Omarosa solemnly "made a vow that day to increase diversity in Trumpworld." 
How she planned to do that, we don't know; she spends the next few pages gushing about the size of her new office in the West Wing. Scouring the detritus of the Obama administration, she scores a 60-inch flat-screen TV with split-screen programming built in, so she could watch all the cable news networks (plus C-SPAN!) at once. 
Did Omarosa actually swing the election?
Although many post-White House autobiographies are ghost-written, that doesn't seem to be the case here. It's not just that Omarosa boasts of the "strong writing skills" she picked up from a journalism professor; it's that a ghost would surely save her from being so terribly, repeatedly, unintentionally ironic. 
The greatest irony is that Omarosa presents herself as having the skills to be so much more than a malevolent mouthpiece. A hardscrabble student who took herself from food-stamp poverty to Howard University, she was ambitious and service-minded. She shook off the horror of her father's and her brother's untimely death. In her 20s, she worked in Al Gore's office before moving to the Clinton White House. 
But she'd been winning beauty pageants too — a part of her biography that gets very downplayed here — and the siren call of television turned out to be stronger than that of public service. When The Apprentice was announced, she threw herself into studying Trump like he was a PhD course; her audition tape was a shoo-in. 
He became a mentor and she learned exactly what he had: stir conflict, never apologize, and they'll make you a star. 
youtube
It seems likely that Donald Trump would never have been elected without Omarosa Manigault Newman. Not only did his ratings suffer when she wasn't on the show, but her "diversity outreach" on his campaign probably made all the difference in the world. She got Trump into black churches in key districts when he really didn't want to go. 
For some in the African-American communities of Michigan, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin, the mighty Omarosa was a persuasive voice — and as we should never, ever forget, Trump won by a grand total of 77,000 votes in those three states. 
It didn't have to happen like this. In 2015, still a registered Democrat, Omarosa was hard at work fundraising for the Ready for Hillary PAC — the stand-in for the Hillary Clinton campaign before she announced. But after she did, the African-American finance committee of Ready for Hillary wasn't rewarded with the positions on the campaign they'd been promised by someone close to the candidate. 
It was a slight she would not forget, and Trump called at just the right time. Suddenly she was somebody again — a surrogate in her friend's campaign, persuading herself that the anti-Mexican comments he made straight out of the gate were "racial rather than racism," whatever that means. Besides, she thought, he would never actually win. 
In an alternate universe where one PAC staffer was offered a role on the Hillary Clinton campaign, Newman is writing a tell-all memoir about all the scandals in the second Clinton White House. 
Back in this universe, a Democratic celebrity who once told Hillary fundraisers to "get behind this sister" ended up telling "every critic, every detractor" to "bow down to President Trump ... the most powerful man in the universe." 
The latter comment is something she curiously omits altogether from Unhinged.
ADD vs. the KKK
Once everything starts to go south in the Trump White House, Newman cuts a pathetic figure. She repeatedly tells us she had "one foot out the door" before another month's worth of narrative goes by. Like the protagonists of Waiting for Godot, her vague desire to move never gets her anywhere. 
Not even the nightmare of Charlottesville, a resurgent and murderous Klan full of what Trump called "very fine people," can cause her to do more than wring her hands. She's distracted by fears that her mentor is losing his mental faculties, by a conference she's putting on, by pointless little personality feuds with Kellyanne Conway (for whom Newman reserves her cattiest remarks) and Betsy "Ditzy" DeVos, by the whole clown car. 
It's not just the shadow of the KKK that stalks the Trump administration; it's also this kind of ADD. 
Omarosa hung around long enough that new Chief of Staff John Kelly was able to fire her on a technicality; some nonsense about using an official car for the Congressional baseball game. She claims the firing was really because she was hot on the trail of an Apprentice outtake tape in which Trump allegedly uses a racial slur. But this is the fuzziest, most-choppily edited part of a very edited narrative, and Newman has already changed her story on whether she's actually heard this tape or not. 
The irony here is that a principled post-Charlottesville resignation would have put Newman in the glare of the media spotlight she craves; it would have made everything all about her in a good way. Why didn't she? 
To hear her tell it, the answer is "loyalty," but Newman isn't exactly a reliable narrator at this stage. The reader can see she's conflicted, and it's part of a conflict that permeates her life. Is she built for service — such as the ministry she was called to in her post-Apprentice, post-Hollywood life — or for merrily skimming along the surface of things, not caring about the mess in her wake? 
Instead of confrontation at a crucial moment, she opts for cowardice, which amounts to complicity — and a cautionary tale for generations. The only thing required for evil to triumph, it turns out, is that a reality show star said nothing.
WATCH: Sarah Huckabee Sanders' most ludicrous moments as press secretary
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