I’m Comin Over (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Rating: T

MC is Alex Coleman 

It’s my first time writing something for Open Heart! Hope yall like this. :) This piece was inspired by the song I’m Comin’ Over by Chris Young. Seriously, that song has Ethan x MC post chapter 17 written all over it. 

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One week.

It had been one week since the hearing. One week since successfully curing Naveen. One week since Naveen announced he would be coming back to Edenbrook - albeit not to his former position of Head of Diagnostics, but to Administration as Chief of Medicine. No, that burden had fallen to him. It had been one week since he had involuntarily been pushed to the position of Head of Diagnostics; and of course, it had been one week since Alex Coleman came to his team as a Junior Doctor.

Truthfully, Ethan was content with how things had turned out in the end. Naveen, his mentor and only father-figure was alive and well and back in his life; Alex’s hearing went extremely well and she had gotten her job back, but not before giving him a treat to see her docking Declan Nash rightfully in his jaw. Even now, recalling the look of complete disbelief and surprise on that cretin’s face brought a small smile to his face. The two people alive that mattered to him most were safe, and that was all it took to make Ethan Jonah Ramsey happy.

Well, mostly.

Ethan walked to the kitchen in his apartment, reaching for the bottle of whiskey in one of the top cupboards. There was a heavy sigh as he poured the rich liquid, bringing it to his lips for a much-needed gulp. It was a long day at Edenbrook today (as most days usually are), however there was an onslaught of uncooperative patients which never failed to make him a tad bit irate. The only silver lining was that Alex Coleman was there with him for the most part. It was a wonder how with her around, his mood always seems to lift.

There was a light nudge at his shins, and he looked down to see Jenner staring up at him in question and expectant. With his free hand, he brushed his fingers through his fur, giving him a good scratch.

“Hey buddy, I’ll get your dinner in a bit.” Jenner yipped in excitement which brought a crack of a smile to Ethan’s lips.

Finishing his drink, he stepped back out into the living room and switched on the radio as he undressed, loosening his tie. The sound of the radio floated into the apartment.

“-ow’s everyone tonight folks? Hope you’re all safely back from a long day of work, or if you aren’t back already, then please, have a safe journey back home. Weather’s a bit wet out there tonight and roads are a bit slippery, so take extra caution driving home.”

He moved back into the kitchen and began preparing Jenner’s dinner, much to his tail-wagging delight.

“-ing to play a couple of requests from you guys. A couple of requests, from a couple of couples. It’s couple’s night tonight so let me hear all of your sappy sweet serenades for each other.”

“Here you go Jen.” Jenner’s ears perked, and he trotted towards Ethan, his tail wagging eagerly. He set the filled doggy bowl on the kitchen floor, giving Jenner a pat on the head. Jenner ignored him, immediately digging in into his dinner. “Good boy,” he whispered.

Refilling his glass, he walked back into the living room, towards the big panels of glass he had for windows. He stared at the city-horizon. He never cared for the view, he was hardly at home and the only reason he bought this apartment was because it was the only one within a ten-minute drive from Edenbrook. He never cared for what it looked like outside his sleeping quarters, that was, until his rookie stopped by and commented on how beautiful the view of the skyline was. Because of her, he now took the time to appreciate and admire the view he was privy to. It went without question that he was completely enamoured with his Junior. Alex-freaking-Coleman. It had been 1 week since they had called it quits on their not-so-secret relationship, and he was still hung over her. No one could fault him for that though. It was nigh impossible not to find her attractive. She was brilliant; he admired her fierce passion for her career and her friendships. She was beautifully fearless, never hesitating to step out of line when she believed she was doing the right thing morally, and more often than not, she was right. She was young, and he guessed that was where her fiery energy and passion came from – naivete and belief that anything was possible. Once upon a time, he was in her place. Young, brimming with energy and passion just like her. He had believed he could do anything in the medical field. And then, the arduous years at Edenbrook came. Disappointments and failures after one another, steadily bringing him down from that youthful high…making him the cold, steely man he was today. He worried constantly that she would end up like him in the future. He dreaded to see the day the fire in her eyes distinguished. If he could, he would protect her from it. He would do anything for her.

Ethan swirled his drink, blue eyes following movements of the amber liquid. He remembered the first night they saw each other outside of the hospital at Donahue’s. She had guessed his drink correctly – Scotches, neat. And in turn, he introduced to her the Special which to his pleasant surprise, she had enjoyed. He huffed, a smile creeping on his lips. She definitely had refined tastes…

He sighed, thoughts turning towards their relationship the past year. She definitely made him happier over the year and he hoped he made her happy at least once with him. If only there weren’t the ethical boundaries of an attending-intern relationship…he scowled. He couldn’t bring himself to break that boundary even though they did stretch it quite a few times the past year. He couldn’t allow himself to ruin her career. One wrong move on either of their parts could leave another black mark on her record. Sleeping with her boss… God, no that would leave a horrible stain on her promising reputation.

“And this next one goes out to a Brian from your sweetheart Mackie. He says, “remember the song that saved our relationship? To this day, ten years on, I’m glad I made the choice and went over to your place for another try at our love even after we agreed to call it quits. Happy 10th Anniversary, my love” Aw! Ain’t that just the sweetest? Here’s to celebrating this couple’s 10th anniversary with Chris Young’s I’m Comin’ Over!”

They had the blessing of a few weeks together at least. Her suspension and his resignation from Edenbrook afforded them a silver lining: they could be together without worrying about ethics or rules. And boy did they make the most of those last few days together. Especially that last night together… he could still vividly remember every touch, every kiss, every thrust. His eyes fluttered briefly, vision going hazy from the memories. He would treasure that last night till his last breath.

We say goodbye, see you around We turn our backs then turn back around

A vibration in his pocket brought him out of his daze, and he pulled his phone out to see that Alex had texted him. They took a habit to texting, much to his distaste. However, it gave him the opportunity to feel close to her without breaking any boundaries and for that he would gladly put aside any grudges he had against mobile communications. Some nights they would call, and those were the nights he always looked forward to.

Alex: Hey, got home alright? 😊

He also took to a habit to send her home at the end of the day whenever their schedules aligned.

His fingers briefly hesitated over the screen.

Ethan: Yep. Just about reached home. Don’t sleep too late, you’ve got an early start tomorrow.

He hesitated for a moment again before deigning to add a smiley emoji. Alex had said emojis added emotions to a conversation. He stared at his phone as he watched his message send, not surprised to see that she had already read it.

I’m all alone, but you’re on my phone Tellin’ me you miss me and that you’re at home

There was a beat before his phone vibrated again.

Alex: Don’t I always? Don’t you sleep late either, we’ve got that important meeting with the Big Pharma representative again. Best be prepared to step on their grubby toes. 😉

He chuckled. Ethan was about to type out a sarcastic response when another message came through from her which halted him in his tracks.

Alex: I miss you.

He sucked in a breath. No. They agreed not to continue this. He noticed his fingers had started to tremble slightly hovering over the screen. He pulled his trembling fingers away, clasping them in a fist in an attempt to stop their shaking. He couldn’t look away from his screen, and he saw that she had stopped typing or sending messages. This was what he hated about texting. He never could know what the other person was thinking or feeling through a screen. And in this case, he badly needed to know what she was thinking…thinking of sending this message! What was she thinking? What was she trying to do? Did she expect him to reply? Did she expect him to reply a certain way?

To Hell with the closure Save it for another time Try not to think about you But it ain’t workin’ Why put out a fire when it’s still burnin’

Losing his grip on his self-control, he dialled her number. It took only two rings before she picked up.

“Hey.” She breathed.

Oh God, her voice…her voice made him feel like he was choked by velvet. He shook his head, bringing his consciousness back into focus.

“What are you doing, Alex?” His voice came out colder than he intended to.

“I- “, there was a stutter in her voice, was she trembling as hard as he was? “I just needed to tell you how much I missed you. I don’t know how much longer I can keep this charade up for, Ethan.”

He swallowed and was about to answer but was cut off by her.

“I still want you, a lot. It’s maddening for me. You’re on my mind all day and seeing you, working with you, but not being able to touch you and be with you, it’s driving me nuts.” He could hear the exhaustion laced in her voice.

She sighed. “Tell me you don’t feel the same way and we’ll end this call and pretend like nothing happened tonight. I just…I needed to let you know, that’s all.”

Yeah we said that we’re done and I know that it’s late But you already know, I’m on my way

No, he couldn’t lie to her. It would be one of his biggest lies if he said he didn’t feel the same way. It was driving him nuts as well. What was Naveen thinking, putting her in close proximity with him?

There was a long silence after that and he could tell she suspected the worse when she sniffed.

“Oh, well, I guess- “

“No!” He blurted. He closed his eyes in exasperation after his outburst, fingers rubbing into his eyes tiredly. He sighed.

“I could not lie to you rookie. And the truth is I do feel the same way. You know that. You have no idea how much I want to hold you every night. But…” He sighed again.

“Well then how about just tonight?” Her soft voice floated in the tense air.

“What?”

“Well, you can’t hold me every night because of what we are to each other professionally, right?” He nodded, although she couldn’t see.

“Then how about just tonight?”

Oh, the temptation.  

“Rookie…” he warned.

“Dr. Ramsey…” she supplied, a slight tinge of tease in her voice. Ever the cheeky monkey she was.

He huffed. “We already said the other night we had together would be our last. At least while I’m still your supervisor.” He provided weakly, although they both knew he was fighting a losing battle. He was always on the losing side with every battle with her. But he didn’t mind one bit.

“To Hell with that closure. Save it for another time.”  

That was enough for him to get his body moving. To Hell with the closure indeed. They had this fire burning between them so brightly. Why put out that fire? What they had was special and he’ll be damned if he allowed it to be doused. He grabbed his jacket and keys, body in autonomous mode.

“I’m comin’ over Rookie.” He breathed, and he could hear the smile in her voice.

“Alright, Ethan. I’ll be waiting.”

He couldn’t resist the smile that spread across his face either. He was going to see her for another night. It had been one week. One week they lasted. One week before his resolve broke.

I’m comin’ over Runnin’ every red light To Hell with the closure Save it for another time Try not to think about you But it ain’t workin’ Why put out a fire when it’s still burnin’ Just when I think movin’ on is gettin’ closer I’m comin’ over

Oh I’m comin’ over

Deleted Scene: Voicemail - after chapter 14.

A/N Alright ya’ll ... I’m back with another deleted scene.  I know with 100% certainty that Megs would have called Ethan after he walked out of the hospital like that ... and since we didn’t get any Ethan this week ... this is what came to my mind as an explanation for why not.  

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Ethan x MC (Megs Collins)

Word Count: 791

Rating: PG (Some swearing)

It’s a few days after the tragic subway crash that left 18 dead and injured hundreds. Ethan is on a hotel balcony with Jenner by his side - nursing a large glass of red wine.  In his hand is his cell phone. He keeps pressing play on the first message and listening through to all of his messages.  He should delete them as he has no intention of returning the calls.  He knows he’s torturing himself and he knows his actions, well, lack of actions, are the right decision.  She is better off without him.  He … well, he just wants to hear her voice …

“... Ethan … hey … I’m … well, I’m checking in on you.  You left, shall we say, abruptly,” Megs laughs a dry laugh, “today … and, well, I just want to make sure that you’ve gotten home safely.  So … let me know if Jenner needs a walk, okay?”

For the thousandth time in over a week, Jenner’s head perks up at the sound of Meg’s saying his name.  He looks over to Ethan then through the balcony door, and Ethan swears he can see disappointment on Jenner’s face when Jenner puts his head back down between his paws.

“I know, Jenner.  I miss her too, boy.”  Ethan presses play on the next message.

“Ethan, I’m seriously worried about you.  I know you’re going through a rough time but … shit, nevermind, just seriously, let me know you’re alive.”

“I’m fine, Megs.  I am, in fact, alive.” Ethan says with a  small wave of his wine glass.  “I don’t know who I am without medicine but I cannot fail another … ha, look at me, I’m talking to myself now,” Ethan rolls his eyes to himself. “No, I’m talking to the dog.  I’m fine.”  

Jenner whimpers. 

Ethan presses plays on the next message.

“Well, you’re not in any obituary that I can find online, so I’m assuming you’re still alive.  God, I’m sure you think I’m a stalker by now.”

“No Megs, I think you’re amazing to still care.”

“I think this is your way of pushing me away for my own good”

“Fuck!  Yes, that is exactly what I’m doing”

“… I will always care about you, Ethan.”

“No, you won’t, dear.” Ethan takes another swig of his wine, immediately pressing play on the next message.

“Eth-Ethan, I … I did som-something today (hic) … I wish I could talk to you about today.  Today was … today was amazing and (hic) … you would have been proud of me, or I (hic) I think you would ... (sounds of a nose blowing) Sorry … I’m not drunk, heck, I’m currently scared that if I start drinking I’ll never stop”  

“You’d stop, love.  I never gave you enough credit for your control.”

“… but that’s not why I called … as I said, you would have been proud, I think”

“I am proud, Megs,” Ethan sighs.  

“… I mean, Zaid yelled at me for being too compassionate, but I brought together a family separated in that crazy subway accident I’m sure you heard about and I helped perform surgery today and then I … well, I … I … I spoke with Harper today and I just told her what I did for Mrs. Martinez and I told her to bring on the ethics board.  I mean, I may have thrown away my career today or sent my career down the path to extinction … but I don’t regret it ... like I … like I don’t regret my time with you.  I wish I could tell you this in person.  I still really hope you’re okay … I think a part of me hopes you might answer in the middle of whatever this message is … no? ... now, please? ... ha, well, you know my hope springs eternal … take care of yourself and Jenner, Ethan.  Thank you for showing me how to be a doctor without losing my compassion.  I wish … well, I wish I could show you in person what you’ve meant to me … I know I should go, this will cut me off soon, I’m sure … but this is the best I’ve felt all day, y’know ... kinda talking to you … I just can’t bring myself to say it … crap (sob) I told myself I wouldn’t cry... Good-”    

Ethan abruptly stands up as he takes another sip of wine - startling Jenner.  Jenner pads over to his own who squats down to pet him.  Ethan’s eyes are rimmed red.  He forces himself to relax his grip on the glass of wine - fearful of shattering the glass.  If only the machine had let her get through her goodbye … maybe then I could really say goodbye, Ethan thinks to himself. “I think I may love her, boy.”  Jenner licks his face.  Ethan stands back up just to sit back down in the chair.  He his play again on the first message.  

And now for the tags.  I’m tagging those who showed an interest in my earlier works and a few besties.  If you ever want on or off this tag list, just let me know.

@likethetailofacomet, @hellospunkiebrewster, @flyawayboo, @furiousherringoperatortoad, @cgd03, @angi15h, @hopelessromantic1352, @claudevonstruke, @innerpostmentality, @maxattack-powell, @kennaxval @tmarie82 @blznbaby @the-soot-sprite @fangirlingmum @monsterheart95 @whenyourheartskipsabeat @lilyofchoices @lodberg @lizeboredom @radlovedreamer @galaxiia-quean @ethanplaysfavorites @perriewinklenerdie @princess-geek @lizeboredom

Weekly prompt #3 | Ethan Ramsey x MC( Geli Melun)

Author’s note: Hey all. I just finished writing another prompt and hope you guys would love it. Further ado, let’s get into angsty fic

Warning: Angst, mentioning of death, bad writing as always

Words: 1600+

Sentence: The moment he realises that he lied to his love of life

Tags: @lilyofchoices @zyralovesethan @sibella-plays-choices @isabella-choices @buzz-bee-buzz @universallypizzataco who wants to be tagged or removed, let me know. I may have forgotten some people, but I will make a tag list in my notes.

Most of the elders say that painful truth is always better than sweet lie, but this saying doesn’t apply that much to infamous diagnostician Ethan Ramsey. He is known for honesty when it comes to reporting sad news to patient’s loved ones or family. He thought that he never lied to Naveen, but he lied about many things including his relationship with his Rookie Geli Melun. He was sitting in the office, drinking cup of coffee and reading a news article about how Stephen Hawking died and how the world reacts to those heart-breaking news. Edward Jenner wasn’t the only idol Ethan grew to respect, but he respected Stephen Hawking as well. One of quotes from Stephen Hawking had an effect on Ethan during his med school years: “ Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change”. Following this quote, he became a famous Diagnostician in the country and an idol to many medical students including to his love of his life- Geli Melun. He stopped reading an article for a minute, tears dropping from his eyes. He finished drinking his cup of coffee and rushed out of his office to supply closet to cry. Geli walked towards Dr. Ramsey’s office to consult with him about one patient, but once she knocked a door many times, no one responded. She opened a door and peaked her head in. Apparently no one was in the room, no presence of Dr. Ramsey. She closed the door and went to hunt Dr. Ramsey down. She checked every floor, every room in the hospital, but no sight of him. Suddenly a feeling of Deja vu overwhelmed her. Feeling threw her back to her first day of internship and how she almost killed a woman, and how she cried in the supply closet. Figuring his location out, she rushed to the supply closet to see him. Once she reached the supply closet’s doors, she heard sobs and sounds of agony. Geli calmly opened the door and slowly closed it and took slow, quiet steps towards broken Ethan. She kneeled besides him, looked at him. Ethan didn’t reacted to a person coming in.

“ Whoever is this, leave me alone.” His voice was quiet and he was shaking up. Geli putted her hand on his back, gently stroking it.

“ Why are you crying?” Her voice was a barely a whisper, full of worry. Ethan got up and pushed her hand away, glaring at her.

“ Dr. Melun, I said go away. Don’t you ever listen?” She stood up and crossed her arms.

“ Didn’t I came here to study and practice medicine? I came here to learn from legend itself Dr. Ethan Ramsey. But instead I see that legend crying for no reason and trying to act like he is powerful and all, so just spill it.” Ethan shook his head, pinching the area between his eyes.

“ I am grieving because of my failure of teaching you! You broke my goddamn walls. So stop looking at me like I am sort of God who can save everyone. Just, please, leave me alone.” He leaned into a wall and looked up in the dark sealing. Geli, feeling pushed away and hurt, rushed out of supply closet, trying to contain her tears. He was leaning into a wall for hours, realising that he lied to his love of his life. Naveen came into supply closet, finding broken and hurt attending. He gently closed the door and approached him, taking him into his arms. He pulled Naveen closer, sobbing into his lab coat.

“ What’s saddening you, Ethan boy?” Ethan sobbed at his shoulder for a while before responding.

“ My idol, Stephen Hawking, have died today and... I hurt my Geli.” Emphasis of ‘my’ made Naveen grin a bit, knowing that he was right all along that Ethan was in love with a resident. He softly patted his back.

“ No one is immortal, Ethan. We will die any day, but we have time to make beautiful moments on this world. About Geli... she came to my office, hurt, but I comforted her. She is okay, but not really okay so you own her an apology. Apologise to her, make sure you are apologising from your heart.” Ethan lifted his head up, looking at the old man.

“ I don’t think she will ever forgive me for hurting her. I’ve hurt her many times already. Now, I feel like a fool lying to her and pushing her away.” Naveen laughed a bit. Ethan was confused and raised an eyebrow at Naveen.

“ Sometimes I think you are an idiot, Ethan boy. Just apologise to her and move on. You two deserve happiness and what’s more, drop your professionalism aside when it comes to her. So go now and apologise or give her time to recover.” Naveen patted his back and left the supply closet. Ethan looked at the sealing, million things in his mind. After minutes of silence, he left the supply closet with a plan in his mind, wait and corner her when it's perfect time.

------------

Two weeks passed away since he talked to Geli about that incident. She was avoiding him at many costs, but failing due to he being her boss. When he tried to talk to her, most of talks were related to work, but when he tried to apologise, she brushed him away. Ethan was hiding behind corners, watching her from afar, still bewitched by her beauty and voice. She tried to hide her sadness by singing while everyone stopped at their tracks, adoring her. One day, Geli was at the Nurse’s station filling paperwork and talking to Bryce.

“ So how is your day, beautiful?” Geli grinned at him, not noticing Ethan standing at the entrance of Nurse’s station, earscopping. Seeing Bryce hitting on Geli made his veins boil out of jealousy. Instead watching two, he forced himself to look at charts of one patient. Hearing Geli giggling, broke his heart. The only reason she was laughing and giggling was because of Bryce not him which made Ethan upset with himself. He hoped that she would remember her time with him, having his heart in her hands, instead painful words and costant pushing her away.

“ Eh it was regular day for junior diagnostician. Diagnosing patients, singing until sadness goes away and avoiding Dr. Ramsey. How’s yours?”

“ I did a solo surgery and nailed it. Dr. Emery was proud of me so Win-Win. Scored another solo surgery and saved a patient. By the way, why are you avoiding Dr. Ramsey? Did he hurt you?” Geli tried to contain her tears from falling. She made a small smile and nodded.

“ Yes. That McAss hurt me badly. I tried to comfort him while he was crying, but instead he pushed me away. Later on I ran to Dr. Banerji’s office for a comfort. I don’t get his brains sometimes.” Bryce reached for Geli and hugged her.

“ Many surgical interns said that Dr. Ramsey became more grumpier and aggressive towards others. He has been like that for two weeks now. I once bumped into him and he threatened to take my career away. He doesn’t listen to everyone expect... you. You can make him less grumpy and aggressive. ” Geli sighed, shaking her head.

“ I don’t think I can do anything about it. Basically I am his resident and that’s it...” While she talked, Ethan passed by them, with elbow hitting Bryce’s back on purpose. Bryce and Geli leaned into reception’s stool as Ethan walked away.

“ Hey, watch it man!” This made Ethan stop at his tracks. He turned around to look at them. Geli looked confused at Ethan while Bryce looked annoyed at attending.

“ Dr. Ramsey, what was that?” Geli questioned him. Without single word he approached Geli and took her by her wrist. She whelped while Bryce looked more annoyed. Geli gave him an apologetic smile while she was following Ethan to his office. He closed the door, walked towards her as she took couple of steps back, cornering her. He put a hand on her face, gently stroking her cheek.

“ So now you are seeing that scalper jockey hmm?” Geli flushed a bit and turned her head away from his face. He gently lifted her face, looking at his eyes.“ Answer me, Rookie.” Geli looked at him, but not into his eyes.

“ You’ve inflicted pain into my heart. I am trying to find a cure, Dr. Ramsey, but so far I can predict that my scar will get bigger than now. I sing to hide my pain and sadness, Dr. Ramsey.” He gently removed strands from her face.

“ A cure huh? You’ve been avoiding me for two weeks and you think I don’t have a scar as well?” She slowly nodded at him while a bit of frustration appeared on his face.

“ I’ve been trying to apologise for my actions to you for weeks, but like I said, you’ve been avoiding me. You know how much I hate seeing you with other men. You bewitch everyone with your singing including me. Why do you have to make me suffer like this?” Tears flowed down his cheeks. A view of torn Ethan broke Geli into pieces. She reached for his eyes to whip his tears away. He leaned into her touch as her touch is gentle and calming. A moment of peaceful silence overcame them as they held each other for a while. She leaned into his ear, whispering.

“ I am sorry, Ethan. I have to check on my patient.” She nodded and tried to pass Ethan, but he wouldn’t allow it, blocking her path “ What is it?”. He took her face into his hands, stroking her cheeks.

“ Before you go, I want to ask you something. Do you forgive me?” She looked at him, quiet for many minutes before answering.

"Yes... I forgive you, but not completly." Ethan gave a questioning look at her. Geli took couple of steps further before pushing Ethan's blocking hand away "Because my scar isn’t healed completely and you lied to me about many things.” She passed by him and left his office while Ethan stood still, looking stunted at his office door. No wonder elders were right along about honesty and truth are always better than lie. Ethan took a seat on his couch and started to cry.

Open Your Heart #1

         It’s one of the hardest decision to make when he has made up his mind to go to Amazon without telling her.

         When he walked into Donahue’s compound, to his surprise he has entered the newly set up beer garden. Raggie has always mentioned about setting up a beer garden, he didn’t know he would’ve get it done within two months’ time.

         There are one bunch of young people sitting together on a table, he recognized a few of them. Doctor Elijah Green, Doctor Sienna Trinh, Doctor Jackie Varma… Ethan suddenly feels very nervous, he refrained himself from searching for her sight in the group, his eyes still searching for her nevertheless.

         She wasn’t there…

         Ethan wasn’t sure whether he felt relief or disappointment at that moment.

         Doctor Sienna saw his presence, she nodded towards him and smiled, the rest of the group realized about his presence and did the same. Ethan returned the gesture with a curt nod and headed into the bar.

         There isn’t much people in the bar, only 3 booths are occupied, Reggie was talking to a lady customer on the bar, he couldn’t see who she was.

         Shoulder length short white stained ash hair, she was wearing a very short and figure hugging black dress that revealing major part of her long slender legs, and a pair of white sneakers.

         Ethan didn’t normally stare at women, but he couldn’t help himself but look at this one, he felt as if he knew her.

         Before he approached the bar, another figure walked towards the counter swiftly and embraced the lady at the counter from behind.

         The lady turned around and looked at the guy who hugged her, Ethan stood there frozen.

         It was her… Estrelle Valentine. The woman he purposely avoided for two months.

         She was being with the scalpel jockey after all?

         Ethan took a deep breath and made sure he got his emotion under control before he walked towards the bar counter.

         “Hi Reggie.” He waved at his old friend to announce his presence.

         “Ethan! You are back!” Reggie’s tone is delighted.

         Bryce could feel Estrelle’s body stiffened a bit when she heard the name.

         “Bryce, can you take our drinks to the gang first?” Estrelle squeezed his arm lightly, a gesture to show him she is fine.

         “Okay baby.” He placed a light kiss on her forehead before taking a tray of drinks to the beer garden.

         “The usual?” Reggie’s eyes wander back and forth between Ethan who has already seated next to Estrelle and Estrelle who was still sitting on the bar stool.

         “Yeah.” Ethan nodded, he placed his hands on the table.

         Reggie placed the drink Ethan has ordered on the bar counter and left the area to give both of them some space.

         “How have you been?” Ethan took the first sip, the strong alcohol has given him the courage to initiate the conversation under the awkward atmosphere.

         “Fine, thanks for asking. And yourself?” Estrelle glanced at him, her onyx eyes met his piercing ice blue eyes.

         “I’m good.” He diverted his eyes away, fearing he may lost control over himself if he continue to stare at her. He took another sip of his drink to camouflage his fluster.  

         Heaven knows how much he has missed her during that two months. Two months apart did not help to ease his feelings for her, it has deepen them.

         “Estrelle, I…” Ethan fumbled to find a suitable words to explain to her his sudden disappearance, but failed miserably.

         “I know what you wanted to tell me.”  She fiddled with the stem of her glass before turned her sight back at him. “I just wanted to ask you one more time, you sure this is what you want for me, for us? You are not going to regret it?”

         Her gaze was intense, Ethan felt his soul has been absorbed into her dark onyx eyes. “I… Yes.” He gripped his hands into knuckles, as if he could gained more strength to resist her or his feelings.

         “You only do what you “think” it’s best for me or what you wanted for me, but you never ask me, what I want, it’s not fair.” She sighed, eyes wandered back at her colorful drink.

         “What… do you want?” Ethan asked, not realized the quiver in his tone.

         “At first, I wanted to be the best doctor I could be…” Her voice trailed off, she rested her chin on her knuckle, eyes fixed on him again. “And then, the only thing I wanted was… you. I understand this thing should be mutual, if you don’t feel the same way about me, I will not push myself to you. If professional relationship is what you ever wanted for us, I will do it.”

         “Estrelle, your future and your career are too valuable to be jeopardized by things like these, I couldn’t be the reason of your failure.” Ethan tighten his grips. As much as he would like to give into his feelings selfishly, he couldn’t. He wouldn’t forgive himself if he ever became the reason of her failure.

         Although Estrelle has expected his answer, but she still felt disappointed hearing him said it. However, she would not want him to runaway to other place again just to avoid her, therefore she has made the decision to let go. “You’ve changed a lot.” She touched his beard and changed the subject subtly.

         Other than beard, Ethan seemed rougher at the appearance, two months in the Amazon really did a lot to someone. He was wearing a white Henley shirt underneath the green jacket with a pair of grey jeans, Estrelle had to admit, he looked even more attractive than before.

         “What do you think about this change?” Ethan stiffened at her touch at first, but relaxed under her soft touches.

         “I think everyone would miss your jawline.” She commented with a chuckle and retracted her hand from him.

         “You lost a lot of weight.” The reasons why Ethan couldn’t recognized her, other than her changed hair color and hair style, also because of her body. Though she used to be slender before, but now she is even slimmer, more muscular, Ethan bet her body fat has dropped significantly.

         “Yeah, was busy and I worked out too.” She nodded while glanced over her smart band. “I gotta go, they are waiting for me.” She smiled apologetically. “I want to tell you one last time.” She stepped down from her bar stool and leaned nearer to Ethan. “I love you, Ethan. Take care and please don’t exile yourself just because you wanted to avoid me, I feel bad about it. I understand you are doing this for my own good, I will respect your decision.” She placed a kiss on his cheek. “See you tomorrow, Doctor Ramsey.” She waved at him and headed towards the beer garden to join her friends.

         Ethan still drowned in her confession, the softness of her lips on his cheek and her scent surrounding him when Reggie returned to the bar counter.

         “You are going to regret this, my friend.” Reggie took the glass Estrelle has used earlier and placed into the sink behind him.

         “I already am, but...” Ethan gulped down the rest of his drink.

         “I hope you could live with your mistake.” Reggie wiped the counter with a damp cloth after taken the lowball glass Ethan has used earlier.

         “I hate you.” Ethan stared at his old friend. Reggie has always been sharp and sensitive, especially towards him. Other than Naveen, he is the other person who knows him well.

         Reggie chuckled. “It’s late, you should go home and get some rest.”

         “Do you know… how long they have dated?” Knowing he will be laughed at, but Ethan couldn’t ignore the intimacy displayed between Bryce Lahela and Estrelle.

         “I don’t know. This is actually the first time I saw her showing up ever since your departure. She looked totally different. Her friends dropped by though…” Reggie’s voice trailed off, he grinned at Ethan mischievously.

         “Reggie…” Ethan glared at him.

         “Okay okay. I did ask them about her, Doctor Trinh mentioned she was very depressed ever since you are gone, for that whole month, she hardly ate properly, just worked and worked, it was truly a miracle that she did not collapsed. In the end Bryce interfered, don’t know how he did it, but Estrelle has become better since then. If they really dated, maybe it’s about a month.” Reggie shrugged.

         Ethan was shocked to hear what she has been through because he certainly couldn’t tell from the way she looked earlier. She either has moved on, or did really well to cover up her pain. Any of the possibilities would not make Ethan feel better.

         He probably did the wrong thing by leaving just like that. But what done is done, he couldn’t undo the past.

         Feeling angry about himself and helpless about the situation, Ethan left the bar after bid Reggie goodbye.

         Ethan reached home about 11:00 p.m., he hadn’t pick Jenner up from the pet shop he entrusted him with.

         He sat on the couch and glanced through his apartment.

         The couch that they shared their drink on, the kitchen island they shared their kiss at… everything about her has occupied his mind, no one has ever had this kind of effect on him before, not even Harper…

         Feeling agitated with himself, he decided to take a shower to cool himself off. After a quick shower, he stood in front of the mirror, he had the shaver in his hand, unsure of what to do.

         I think everyone would miss your jawline…

         Her voice echoed in his mind, before he realized it, his hands started to shave his beard.

         Tomorrow is not going to be easy… After his night routine, Ethan laid down on the bed they made love in… He realized, she wasn’t the biggest obstacle of their professional relationship… He is.

who

I was born on sunny midday to infamous high school lovers. My first two names were given to me by my godmother and the bible. I am this couple’s first daughter and was raised in a small village in our hometown.

Having parents younger than most kids of my age, I grew up joining beauty pageants because my parents had the time, effort and energy for it. Now, I do not want to think of myself as an untalented child as that is very degrading, but in every talent portion, all I could offer was modeling (excuse yourself, Kendall Jenner). But you know, it was cool. So, whatever.

Although it was not a bad thing and has not been an insecurity (because why would it be?) of mine, strutting on the runway and looking pretty are not the sole elements a young girl should possess and have knowledge of. *hair flip* I recollect memories of being stuck in traffic because of the rain while we were on our way for a VTR of a shampoo commercial. Yes, that is right. My parents also tried to test out my acting skills. I became their little Barbie doll for quite some time. I have fond memories of waking up late at night seeing my mother and father make costume and props for me. It is still one of my beloved memories as a child. The various pieces of cloth, sequins, and glitters stashed in our living room were always a pleasant view for me because those were the days that my parents were still together.

I was seven-years-old and it was New Year's Eve when my father and I had "the talk." We were in the dining area of my grandparent's house on my mother's side; it was while the whole family was having their Media Noche at the terrace, it was while I was hearing the sound of fireworks and merry laughter of people outside the house. I sat there on his lap not knowing what to say. It was a mere blank stare at a distant.

Unfortunately, my younger brother who arrived three years later after I was born was still not enough to keep their relationship together. I felt broken and shattered but there was nothing that I could do as I do not hold the lives of my parents. They are individuals as I. No one owns anyone. I do not own them nor do they own me. (I remember a similar line was spoken in the movie Out of Africa, 1986, I just cannot find an excerpt of it for the love of God)

At the age of seven, I obliged myself to constantly keep an open mind and endure the fact that I am unlike every other kid that I knew at that moment. It took some time and although I am not entirely sure how that seven-year-old girl managed it so well, I am just glad that she did.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" the principal of our school asked us on one of our daily discussions with her every week. She visits us in our classroom making sure we are all learning from our teachers. She has been really a second mother to me considering I have been studying in her school since I was in the nursery. "An astronaut!" I cheerfully answered. I heard it echo through the sea of voices saying, "I want to be a doctor!" A nurse!" "A teacher!" She noticed my answer and started to become concerned.

I kind of get it. I mean, a young girl in her first grade in a third-world country living in a small town without even having the technology that we have now, when did she even discover the word astronaut? "Your principal talked to me and said that you wanted to be an astronaut when you grow up. Why?" my mother asked. "It is because I want to travel through space!" And believe it or not but that is the truth. I have always been fascinated by clouds, skies, stars, and planets. I admire her paying attention to every single one of us and having awareness with our problems at home but no, I was not going through a psychological effect from my parent's separation. I did not want to travel through space because I wanted to be alone (although, maybe now I do.) *cue tears*

The revelation is, I was flustered to say that my actual aspiration in life is to be a cashier lady (right?!) as all of the other kids were speaking up about big careers so, you know? I knew I just had to level up my answer. I cannot be the poorest aspiring bitch in the class.

I started my first schooling years in that specific school located in our village. Alongside having medals for academics, I also have awards at home for winning declamation contests and beauty pageants. I was hailed as the first Queen of Hearts of our school. Everything was great for my little life until the day came that I had to transfer to a wholly different school.

It was when I was about to enter the fourth grade in elementary that I had to shift because my school only happen to provide education for until third grade. My parents decided it was time for me to grow out of my comfort zone so they put me in a school that is a tad far away from home. I remember being timid and discouraged because I grew up in a school where the floor had tiles, the rooms had air-conditioners, and the bathrooms had light bulbs. I was not a little princess anymore. Everything good has vanished since then. It was the start of a new chapter of my life. My fairytale story ended right there because it is where I first encountered bullies.

The school I transferred to was small and although it attempted to acquire some charming and genuinely admirable teachers, it was filled with the horrors of students who do not bathe regularly and seem to be more than happy to use offensive words on an everyday basis. No, I was not transferred to a public school. My parents were still paying a heavy amount of money for that Christian school and Lord is my witness with how disgusted I was.

I was not only bullied (and punched, too) by a boy who has never seen a toothbrush in his entire existence on Earth but also by an old teacher who says "pee-cha pay" instead of "pizza pie" and gets deranged every single time for no reason at all. She was the first teacher to shame me in class for my body and also the first person who screamed cuss words at us at the top of her lungs. Aside from having a mother who is at work most of the time, a father who resides in Manila and no one to talk to about my problems at school, I started writing in my diary and pouring all my emotions in it. One day, my mom read it and she became furious that she threw it at me because she cannot accept the reality that her baby girl is starting to bear the brutality of the world and no mother was found during those instants. Since then I have not written any poem nor essay about my sentiments because I am still fearful that people will look at me uncomfortably once they see me from a different perspective. It was at that phase of my life that I had no outlet for my emotions and all I could think of was how to escape from my self.

It was hell not only at home but also at school. After a year, I learned to settle as my focus was moved onto a different matter. I had crushes, boys had crushes on me, boys from the upper grade had crushes on me and then the prettiest girl in the classroom decided to make me her best friend as she was starting to get insecure with the attention I was getting. She unquestionably failed to make me her shadow as I gracefully stood there with medals delivering our graduation speech. I was a salutatorian with a new best friend, a keen suitor and an amazing friendship with our adviser.

If my elementary years were a rollercoaster ride, my high school life can be characterized as a painfully awkward bad romantic-comedy film yet with satire humor. It was a huge insulting mess.

I started my first year in high school at an academy. Just like any other freshmen, I was excited to finally live up to my Glee and High School Musical fantasies. Sadly for me, I was thirteen and those fictional characters were not. I cannot get pregnant with a football player and ask people what time is it. I joined the English club and continued with my artistry in acting. I also wrote poems and composed songs because my father granted me a guitar as a graduation gift.

Just as my life was going well, our school principal abruptly decided to mix students with better grades among the "rotten tomatoes." Also, these are not my own words, that is how he called them. So then as fate decided it, I am going to spend my year in a class with one of those rotten tomatoes a.k.a. my old best friend from elementary. I tried to have a decent friendship with her since I am by nature a good person but then I do not know how her mother raised her as she cold-heartedly betrayed me, flirted with my crush, made the girl who despised me her new best friend and no, it does not end there, steal my brand new watch. I am still amazed at all the time she had. I was one of those students with inherent bad luck that got moved to their section. It is where all the evil students lurk. Luckily for me, I still had the best time of my life as I tried to tutor some of them at the same time associate my studies with boys and new found friends from that section. As regretful as it may sound, I guess I enjoyed their company way too much and by the end of the year, I found myself blending in by becoming a rotten tomato as well.

Onto my second year in high school, my parents decided to move me again because I was not on the honorable mention. I spent my sophomore year in a college school. It was 2012 and this is when my life turned upside down. This is when I became one of those white high school girls born from chick flicks in the 20th century that I have grown to watch on cable. I was thrilled to eventually enter a school that is larger than life and farther from home. I finally became a stereotype.

I became free; too free that I started cutting classes just to hang out with friends. Too free that I adequately used my phone inside the classroom and had to get my grandmother to school every time I get in trouble. Too free that I had extreme fights because of nasty boys. I represented our section for Miss Earth and embarrassed myself by not knowing the lyrics nor the chords to the song I was singing (although I won Miss Photogenic.) I was not a rebel nor a cool kid. I just hated everyone and had frequent arguments with my mother. I met a lot of sexually active fourteen-year-olds. I had major counseling from our adviser.  I had sexual and paranormal experiences at school and for the first time in my life, I received a failing grade. I was 72 in Algebra and I fainted when I told my mother about the bad news.

On my junior year, it was time for me to repent. I knew what I have done and now they are transferring me to a school that is embarrassingly smaller than my friend's house. #Shook is an understatement for what I have felt. Again, I was moved from one section to another. This time I was from the rotten tomatoes. Our History teacher felt pity toward her three new pretty students that she decided to adopt us onto her star section. It was another year of adjustment and God knew how mentally and physically tired I was. The only good thing that happened that year was my consistency of a considerable grade and so my parents made me stay there for the senior year.

My last two years in high school went like a harsh breeze. I fought with someone (as usual.) I was asked to prom. I had a teacher aiming to me pull me down on his level (until this day, I still have no idea why he hates me for wearing my hair in a bun.) I was perfecting quizzes again and I managed to have a steady high grade. I graduated peacefully with no zygote in my womb and it was time for me to pack my bags and finally move to the city with my father.

As someone who grew up in a city within a province, the real city overwhelmed me. Catcallers are scattered everywhere. Smoke-belching vehicles and smokers do not take consideration of your life. Backpacks are not backpacks anymore since it is placed on your chest to avoid thieves and perverts. And a jeepney can lull its passengers to sleep because of this infamous traffic in a specific avenue.

I was ready to enter either this college or that university except I have my father who wants me to enter the university he went to. And to state the obvious, I failed. I took another entrance exam for this other university only because my father said it is the second-best of what he wanted and also that he will buy me a car. No, he did not. And no, it was not the second-best.

My whole life my parents tried to protect me and made sure I am safe and comfortable so I was provided with school service. You do not get any of that once you are in a university.

My first two semesters in our college I Iearned how to drink, party and go home at six in the morning while writing love letters to my crush who is an activist including becoming a consistent Dean's Lister. The next two semesters, I learned that the subjects are not getting easier, and the professors are only getting feistier. I fully shut down and resided in a dark place on my mind for the whole year. I was at that stage that I did not know who I was or who I wanted to be. I was scared. I was forcing myself to figure out who I am before I turn eighteen because I am frightened to go older each year and not see the life I envisioned for myself. I joined a mass organization to have a new light in my life. A musical play that I starred in also freed me from my mind during that phase. Life is not getting easier and I wish I could still simply say that I want to be an astronaut so that I could travel through space. Now, I am currently in my third year of college. I recently just finished an extensive workshop on theater arts and I am more inclined now to know the lives of the masses and the struggles of being a woman in a patriarchal society.

Cruel people can prowl anywhere. Bad memories are inevitable. I welcome sadness with a big hug and accept defeat with honor. And although I am only dancing to melancholia, the Universe has still chosen this sperm with an X chromosome to see what beautiful madness the world is. I ought to seize it.

ANALYSIS & PREDICTION The natal horoscope shown in the inner wheel above has the following salient points: 1. There is an Eastern Hemisphere emphasis, always suggesting an orientation to life that is based on defensiveness and self-protection. Since no one is born this way, we know that it is learned behavior. Where do we learn behavior from at the earliest point in life? Yep, the parents. Is there corroboration for this deduction? Yes! 2. The parental axis is the 4-10 axis. The ruler of the 4th is squared by Uranus. The ruler of the 10th is squared by Neptune. The Moon is isolated by itself in the horoscope as the only planet west direct. Saturn squares the Sun. This suggests parental tension, an emphasis on the mother and a difficulty or even loss of father. There's no question that there was parental dysfunction. There was surely anger built up that became a part of the attitude and mindset symbolized by Mars square the Ascendant. 3. As previously mentioned, Saturn squares the Sun. Since the Sun rules the 7th House, we expect a lot of lessons to be learned in relationships because the Sun rules the 7th House. Venus square Mars extends this deduction even further, especially with Venus being on the horizon. 4. There is tension between the 2nd and 11th Houses via the Neptune-Jupiter square. Any tension between these two Houses connects to self-esteem concerns linked to questions about one's lovability, attractiveness, popularity, etc. When Neptune is involved in tension and is connected to the 2nd House, it suggests uncertainty or confusion regarding one's sense of self-worth! Self-esteem is of extreme importance in how one conducts themselves in the world. When it isn't right, major mistakes are made regarding any number of things in life like relationships, career and more. You condct yourself one way when you think you are beautiful and worthy of attention and you conduct yourself totaly different when you think the opposite of that about yourself.If you go back and look at O.J. Simpson's life from the point he became a collegiate football star up to the day of the murders, his existence was about being popular, liked, and loved. He received that through his career, friends, and relationships. He depended on popularity and was successful at it. It was his oxygen!!!! 5. The Saturn-Uranus square to the Sun suggests an inner battle over maintaining the status qup versus progressing forward. This is a base factor connected to this man's sensitive and idealistic (Pisces) central life-energy. His personality, though a bit once-removed, is the type that gets its fulfillment from being charming, pleasing and agreeable. Together, the Sun and Moon are expressed through an attractive image (Venus on the Ascendant) that needs to be helpful, humanitarian, and is often off the beaten track or path. It's important to note that more than half of the tension in this horoscope is connected to Mercury and Jupiter, the parental rulers. This is a typical profile. A child becomes absorbed by parental difficulties and builds a defensive mask. The sense of self-worth is impaired and relationships become real challenged. Mars squares Venus, the hallmark aspect of one who makes the wrong decisions in relationships. PREDICTION Suppose this man had come to me for a comsultation this past January 1st? What would I have said? First of all, Saturn Return's are indicators of strong structural changes in one's life. This particular Return squares the Sun, ruler of the 7th House, so there is a light shining on relationships. Me: Are you married? Man: Yes Me: How has it been going? Man: There is a lot of BS going on. It's pretty tense right now. Me: Well, I didn't pull that question right out of a hat. There is a suggestion here, an emphasis that a grand change is due that will include relationships if things are not out on the table, understood and agreed upon. This needs to happen yesterday. Do you understand? Man: I've been trying. There is a lot of drama. My wife is the ex-girlfriend of my step-sister's boyfriend. Our relationship started after theirs failed. Me: Oh boy! Well, yours is a horoscope that threatens relationship concerns as a result of self-worth uncertainty picked up through your parents. There is an emphasis on your mother and challenges with your father. Man: Well, he died when I was young. I loved what I remember of him but I know there were problems. My mother can be a piece of work sometime. You might have heard of her. Her name is Kris Kardashian. Me: Oh, you are Robert Kardashian Jr! ------- According to news reports yesterday, Rob Kardashian received a video from the mother of his daughter, known as Blac Chyna, in which she told him that their baby was to get revenge on her ex for being with the Jenner daughter. She went further and said that all Rob ever was to her was a dollar, that there was never any love. It was all an act. Now, it doesn't matter that this was Robert Kardashian Jr. Scores of people that no one knows have had hideous relationship concerns if nothing but a drama-less divorce (if that's possible). Whether it is someone recognized or the guy pumping your gas, astrology is astrology and it is most excellent at seeing natal and predictive possibilities. I do want to make it clear that this Saturn Return squaring his Sun that focuses on relationships did NOT make what happened happen. Please understand that. It simply showed, "If you have not been conducting yourself correctly within relationships and if there have been any problems, this is is going to be a time when there can be great difficulties. If you smoke a pack of cigarretes a day, start coughing one day, get an MRI and there is a black mark on your lung at the time that astrology suggests a health problem. The MRI didn't put the mark there. The planets don't cause your problems. Rather, they tell you when you might received the rewards or challenges that result from how you have conducted yourself. Everyone around Rob Kardashian tried to tell him, before his marriage, that it was a mistake. He didn't listen. His self-esteem uncertainties and insecurities dominated, especially after having become nearly obese. I hope he has grown from his mistake.

Merger =/= Bail Out

Yesterday I saw a post about how Irving Azoff had to bail out Jeff and how Jeff isn’t good for Harry because he’s not promoting solo Harry and Harry is still linked to Kendall.

I can’t seem to find the post anymore, but I didn’t agree, so I wanted to offer my alternative view.

Fake Team vs. New Team with Hands Tied

The Azoffs’ hands are still tied.  If Zayn isn’t able to choose representation that supports his best career interests, if Louis isn’t able to, if Niall arguably isn’t because of his continuing connection with Modest, and if Liam can’t seem to release music since it keeps getting pushed back with no explanation, then why should the Azoffs be able to manage Harry normally at this point in time? All of them have their hands tied, so I think it makes perfect sense that the Azoffs are still biding their time as well.

I think in some cases like Zayn and Louis and maybe Niall (mgmt), they’re being represented by teams they didn’t choose.  I don’t think these will be long term arrangements and I think they’ll change when they can.  I think either they’re being loaned out under the original contract or they were forced to sign short term contracts under some sort of manipulation.  In some cases like Harry and maybe Liam and maybe Niall (label), it might be that they have legit new teams that can’t fully function until 1DHQ ends whatever stalling tactic they’ve used.

The reason some of the teams are real and some aren’t would be that 1DHQ still has control over the representation of the boys.  If they allow a new team to announce itself, it can happen, but they don’t have to allow it and the new teams can’t do anything under that situation.  1DHQ would have allowed the announcements as a way to control the spacing of them and not make 1DHQ look as bad.  They would have mandated the fake teams in order to cover their tracks with forcing Zayn to leave, to pretend that one person stayed with Modest, and to pretend that one person stayed with Syco.

The fake new teams would allow their name to be used because it’s promo for them and their actual artists.  The real new teams wouldn’t have a choice because my theory is that they’re still waiting in the wings, primed to go but without official power yet.

1DHQ Is Still Lingering

All of this boils down to the idea that 1DHQ is still in power.  I don’t think it’s absurd to think that since:

We’ve had a lot of starts, regressions, and restarts with the band-Zayn reconciliation narrative.

Babygate is STILL ongoing and has seen the same start-stop-start pattern as the reconciliation has.

The bearding that is heavily weighted in favor of promoing the beards is still ongoing for Zayn and Liam in particular and for Louis as well.  They even brought back Eleanor which I can’t see anyone but 1DHQ doing.

There’s still a more positive spin on news in the US, but nowhere near what you’d expect if any of the boys’ new teams had power and were actually going to bat for them.

It’s likely 1DHQ don’t have control over the boys’ solo releases and the majority* of the solo music keeps getting pushed back further and further without much explanation. 

*The exceptions are singles from Louis and Niall that may well have been to add to the perception that 1DHQ didn’t get totally ditched. Zayn’s new single is so recent it’s hard to judge.

We’re still getting massive coordination among solo efforts and stunt news which shouldn’t be happening if everyone is really conducting separate solo careers under separate teams.

It also relies on the idea that 1DHQ doesn’t have control over the upcoming solo material.  Mainly I think this because of the delayed releases mentioned above and because based on their original contract, there’s no reason 1DHQ should have control.

It’s possible none of the current teams are the new teams as well.  Liam’s management and Louis’ management were both considered odd choices when they were announced.  Louis’ is definitely tied to 1DHQ and Liam’s has no other music clients.  We know Louis staying with Syco is BS and Niall being with Modest is likely more of the same.  

Full Stop

For Harry, I would say that he probably never intended to be managed by Jeff under a new company.  I don’t think the “merger” was because Jeff failed.  I don’t think they ever intended Jeff’s company to do anything real.

At the time it was announced it was set up oddly with the business name not being registered ahead of the announcement.  The corporation was set up a year in advance, but the fact that the fandom knew the name of the company before it was even registered properly still holds true and is still very odd. 

Then there’s the fact that the corporation for Full Stop also seems to be connected to Irving Azoff’s other companies.  O’Hana was created the same day it was announced Harry was leaving Modest for Jeff.  Also... this retweet on Jeff’s Twitter from April 2015, 3 months after the first corporation was registered and about 9 months before O’Hana was filed.  It may be coincidence, but it’s a rather interesting thing to keep in mind that out of 36 total tweets, one just happens to reference the same word.  The song is by Leon Bridges who Jeff is connected to, but still.

They also never got a website up which even the most incompetent people can do. You buy a domain name from Godaddy and use a website builder site like WIX or Squarespace.  Voila.  You can hire a college kid to do it for $50 probably.  It makes no sense not to set up a site if you intend to have a viable artist agency.  The name for the site was even bought. It was done before the announcement, so you would assume the name was purchased by Jeff et al., yet it was never set up.

They don’t seem to have an active Twitter either.  The only two results that pop up have 3 tweets between them.  I found what I assume is Jeff’s actual Twitter since Gemma and Ben Winston follow it, but that only has 36 tweets that most related to his father’s clients or the people he’s been an agent for.  His business partner, Tommy Bruce, has a private Twitter.  There’s no promotion for this company or its artists anywhere except a couple news articles.

The other thing is that Harry was the main and nearly only client that Full Stop claimed.  Meghan Trainor has also been said to be under Full Stop, but it’s impossible to tell since there’s no real social media coverage, the Full Stop website isn’t up, and there’s no official list anywhere of their clients.  Meghan doesn’t list her management on Twitter or on her website.  Just like Harry, Meghan was originally a client of Jeff when he was an agent at CAA.

Full Stop has 2 public clients max and for a management company who should be advertising their clients, there shouldn’t be any private clients.  Out of those 2 clients, 1 of them hasn’t released anything since joining the management company and there’s little evidence that he ever intended to release something any sooner than is now planned.  It’s not like Jeff took on clients and failed.  He never started at all before merging.

Kendall Jenner

The other claim made was that Jeff was screwing Harry over by connecting him to the Kardashian family.

But how connected is Harry really?  The last time he was truly seen with her was quite a while ago.  The last big hurrah was the yacht at the end of 2015 really.  Ever since then some articles pop up occasionally when Kendall and Harry are in the same building, but there haven’t been any pap walks or social media pictures or anything.

Harry’s bearding is super low key at this point by anyone’s standards. In fact, he hasn’t really been involved in any big stunts personally for quite some time. The Sun has tried to create scandals, but they didn’t exactly have Harry’s cooperation with those.  They just pulled them out of thin air.

I would say it’s obvious that Harry is somewhat immune to the BS going on with Louis, Zayn, and Liam especially.  Niall is somewhere in the middle considering his ongoing connection to Modest.  There’s some reason that Harry is immune whether it be a negotiation or something else, but it doesn’t really matter why when we can see the difference clearly.

I can’t see how Jeff can be blamed for connecting Harry to the Kardashians when Harry’s been entirely under the radar for the last year.  He had one magazine cover, showed up in fan pics a handful of times, was papped out a handful of times, and that’s pretty much it.  Kendal Jenner is not at all comparable to the other beards we’ve had over the last year.  She’s more like when Niall and Demi Lovato used to be connected in the press constantly, except Hendall isn’t brought up nearly as frequently.

Good Relationship

There’s been no particular indication of a bad relationship between Jeff and Harry.  Pictures aren’t everything, but Harry seems genuinely comfortable with Jeff’s presence and to actually like spending time with him.  I don’t think I’ve seen any pictures where Harry looks like he’s looked while bearding or like the other boys look when they’re clearly doing something they don’t like.  None of the boys play along particularly consistently with forced relationships.

I don’t think Harry would be friendly with a guy he thought was screwing him over.  All the boys have been around long enough and have experienced the crappy side of the entertainment industry enough at this point that I don’t think they’d get themselves into that again.  If they made deals, it was with the best advice possible.  If they chose actual new teams, those new teams will serve them well and they’ll have contracts that give them the control they want.

Irving Azoff

The theory was always that Irving Azoff was behind the new team for 1D as a group.  I see Jeff merging his company back into his father’s as a sign of forward movement in the 1D connection to Irving Azoff.  If Full Stop being a separate company was mostly for Harry’s benefit as it seems, then Harry becoming a client of the bigger combined company is a good thing.  Eventually, after all the delays are done, after all this stupid BS stops lingering, I’m still betting 1D will be with Azoff.

Drama Detectives: Is the Met Gala Even Fun?

Next Monday night, a stampede of fashion models, Victoria Secret models and Instagram models will ascend the Metropolitan Museum of Art stairs into New York’s most glamorous soirée: The Met Gala. Affectionately known as both “the party of the year” and “an A.T.M for the Met,” Anna Wintour’s annual art fundraiser is where the who’s who of fashion flex theme-adhering designer garb, then attempt to comfortably sit down, eat dinner and get drunk. It’s the Oscars of the East Coast—except, you know, nobody takes home a career-changing statue, and everyone leaves wishing they wore the same thing as Rihanna.

It sounds like the kind of party any person—famous or normal—who be delighted to attend, right? Well, I hate to be the one to pop your Beyonce- in-a-pom-pom-plastic-gown-sized bubble, but per last year’s report from Page Six, the whole thing really isn’t that fun. According to an extremely credible Hollywood handler, the evening is pretty much the Mean Girls of galas: it’s “tedious,” “boring,” and “not that much of an enjoyable evening.”

However, like all responsible tabloid readers, I use my discretion when glancing over Page Six headlines. How much could a party that costs $30,000 USD per ticket really suck? With this question in mind, I set out to do a little investigation. I might not be headed to the Met on Monday, but thanks to the Internet, I have a pretty good idea whether or not I’d have a good time.

The Testimonies

Amy Schumer 

“It felt like a punishment,” the Schumer told Howard Stern in an interview, after attending the 2016 gala. “I left not the second I could. I left earlier than I should have been allowed.”

Gwyneth Paltrow

In 2013, Paltrow boldly declared: “I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all.”

Tina Fey 

Fey suggested that Letterman “drink contact-lens fluid” before attending the gala. “It is such a jerk parade. If you had a million arms and all the people you would punch in the whole world, they’re all there.”

Lena Dunham 

In a since-deleted essay for her Lenny newsletter, Dunham wrote: “It was like a crazy countdown to when [I] could escape.”

Demi Lovato 

 “I had a terrible experience,” Lovato told Billboard in a 2018 profile, “This one celebrity was a complete bitch and was miserable to be around. It was very cliquey. I remember being so uncomfortable that I wanted to drink.”

The Evidence

The time celebs smoked cigarettes in the lady’s room

Being a rebel is super cool… until you get caught. At the 2017 gala, a group of renegade celebs—including Bella Hadid, Marc Jacobs and Dakota Johnson—turned the art gallery’s bathroom into a designated smoking area, sharing images of themselves breaking the law all over social media. Museum donors were quick to express their outrage, and the city’s health commissioner sent a strongly worded letter expressing her anger. Public shaming is not a good time.

The time Jay-Z and Solange fought in the elevator 

Back in 2014, footage surfaced from inside a Met Gala after-party elevator that showed Solange hitting and kicking Jay-Z. What did Jay-Z do to infuriate his sister-in-law to the point of physical violence? What kind of high-stress environment leads to this kind of family-on-family attack? (Though, to be fair, I’ve been on sibling hikes through peaceful mountains that have resulted in tears and bruises.)

The time Reese Witherspoon got drunk

In a viral video circa 2014’s Met Gala, Hollywood’s favourite Southern Belle tries—and fails—to pronounce Cara Delevingne’s name. “I don’t know what your fucking name is,” she slurs, before offering the supermodel a bit of advice. “The most important thing about a name, for a girl, is that a man can whisper it in his pillow.” I’ll just say this: I would pay a lot of money to be insulted by a drunk Reese Witherspoon.

The time everyone took a selfie

Anna Wintour has banned cell phones from her ultra-chic event, but when you’re a Kardashian/Jenner/friend of a Kardashian/Jenner, you don’t have to follow the rules. Bathroom selfies have become a sort of Met Gala tradition amongst the elite event’s most elite. And while breaking the rules is fun and all, imagine being the *regular* person who walks in to take a pee and is met by a crowd of Instagram superstars. Very cliquey! Very intimidating!

The time Madonna performed 

A party that’s also an intimate Madonna concert? I mean, I could just avoid the bathroom all night…

The Verdict

The entire social occasion—from the outfit scrutiny to the potential Kardashian run-in—sounds extremely stressful. That said, Anna Wintour if you’re reading this, I would happily accept an invitation.

The post Drama Detectives: Is the Met Gala Even Fun? appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

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Nike announced on Monday that the 30th anniversary of its “Just Do It” campaign would star Colin Kaepernick, the former NFL quarterback who famously began kneeling during the national anthem in order to protest police brutality, igniting a national conversation about race, sports, and the meaning of patriotism.

The ad, which features a close-up of Kaepernick’s face and the tagline “Believe in something. Even if it means sacrificing everything,” was met with praise from fellow Nike athletes like LeBron James and Serena Williams, as well as former CIA Director John Brennan. That “everything” refers to Kaepernick’s professional football career — following his departure from the San Francisco 49ers, he was essentially blackballed from the NFL for his political demonstrations.

The ad was also met with backlash, including a boycott, a trending Twitter hashtag, and viral tweets of customers cutting the Nike swoosh off of their stuff. Meanwhile, Fox News host Tucker Carlson called the campaign “an attack on the country,” while others took issue with the term “sacrifice,” suggesting instead that the campaign should have gone to Pat Tillman, the NFL player who left the league to enlist in the Army in 2002 and was killed in Afghanistan.

Nike’s decision to feature Kaepernick in its campaign is part of a larger trend: Since the 2016 US presidential election, brands — once terrified of controversy — are more and more likely to enter the realm of politics. There’s never been a more popular time to be a brand with an opinion.

And the Kaepernick ad seems to be the result of an essential lesson from the past two years of brands attempting to take a stand in their advertisements: It actually takes a stand.

2017 was the year of corporations taking a stance. By the time the Super Bowl came around, commercials from Coca-Cola and Airbnb were making loose references to the necessity of diversity (Coke’s ad featured voices singing “America the Beautiful” in a variety of languages; Airbnb’s was called “We Accept”), while at the Oscars, Cadillac ran an ad featuring footage of protests with a voiceover saying things like, “We are a nation divided.”

That’s not to say that all these forays succeeded. Later in the spring, there was that Pepsi commercial, which featured a rather milquetoast protest/march/street party full of attractive, racially diverse millennials. It was an aesthetic that many brands were (and still are) co-opting, but it went disastrously wrong when the ad ended up insinuating that police brutality can be solved by Kendall Jenner giving a cop a Pepsi. The Pepsi ad didn’t fail because it used #resistance optics; it failed because it completely undermined the message of the protests.

CEOs also started to seem less afraid — and at times appeared to feel as if they were obligated — to make public statements about political happenings and social issues. After President Trump’s comments on the white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, in which he claimed that there were “some very fine people on both sides” and that “not all of those people were white supremacists by any stretch,” Merck CEO Kenneth Frazier dropped out of the president’s American manufacturing council. He issued a statement that said, “As a matter of personal conscience, I feel a responsibility to take a stand against intolerance and extremism.”

Patagonia, meanwhile, which has long been associated with activism, went so far as to file a lawsuit against the Trump administration for reducing the size of two national monuments.

Apparel brands in particular have embraced politics through design. During New York Fashion Week in February 2017, the biggest trend was anti-Trumpism, with models walking down the runway in T-shirts that read, “Nevertheless she persisted,” and one show that began with a speech by the organizers of the Women’s March.

Nike’s choice to use Colin Kaepernick’s activism as the face of its campaign isn’t all that surprising — not only does activism often raise a brand’s profile (one study showed that about two-thirds of consumers thought it was at least somewhat important for brands to take a stand on social issues), but it’s well within Nike’s wheelhouse.

Journalist Jemele Hill — who, like Kaepernick, has been a target of Trump — noted that while Kaepernick is still a major draw in sports apparel despite not currently playing for an NFL team, Nike also has a history of working with black athletes, a move that, to some, was at one time considered controversial.

I’m just here to remind folks that last year Colin Kaepernick was in the top 50 in NFL jersey sales, despite not being on a roster. Nike made a business move.

— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) September 3, 2018

Nike became Nike because it was built on the idea of rebellion. This is the same company that dealt w/ the NBA banning Air Jordans. They made Jordan the face of the company at a time when black men were considered to be a huge risk as pitch men. They aren’t new to this.

— Jemele Hill (@jemelehill) September 4, 2018

That’s likely why the brand figured that the backlash it would receive for choosing Kaepernick would be worth it in the end. And there certainly has been backlash: Some Nike customers responded by performatively burning their Nike apparel or cutting out the logos, which has long been a protest tactic particularly favored by conservative consumers.

First the @NFL forces me to choose between my favorite sport and my country. I chose country. Then @Nike forces me to choose between my favorite shoes and my country. Since when did the American Flag and the National Anthem become offensive? pic.twitter.com/4CVQdTHUH4

— Sean Clancy (@sclancy79) September 3, 2018

Chris Allieri, a brand expert and founder of the communications firm Mulberry & Astor, told Vox, however, that the average Nike customer will likely be supportive of the campaign. Of those who aren’t, he said, “Consumers are quick to outrage and quick to forget.”

“I think this is one of those decisions where [Nike] did look at positives and negatives and threw that out the window,” he added. “They wanted to be relevant and hit this controversy head on. They did that by putting Kaepernick at the center of the campaign.”

These days, an advertisement won’t make headlines simply for showing a diverse group of people at a vague protest-y setting or making loose claims about supporting diversity. The reason the Nike ad is even newsworthy in the first place is because it doesn’t fall into the trap of attempting to “unite” Kaepernick with the targets of his protests. It’s lionizing Kaepernick for the important work he’s done without flattening his message to align with corporate-speak.

Questions about whether the decision will “pay off” are twofold — there’s the question of how it will affect the Nike brand. Though shares fell more than 2 percent Tuesday morning and the hashtag #NikeBoycott trended on Twitter, that certainly doesn’t mean the ad is a failure. In fact, according to Apex Marketing Group, Nike has received more than $43 million worth of media exposure in the less than 24 hours since the campaign was announced, with the vast majority of coverage either “neutral” or “positive.”

But there’s also the question of whether a brand taking a stance on a social issue will have effects in the real world. When Dick’s Sporting Goods announced it would stop selling guns to people under 21 in response to the school shooting in Parkland, Florida, other stores like Walmart and L.L. Bean followed suit. It’s the kind of trend that can lead to changing ideas about what constitutes common sense, which could end up helping make gun laws stricter.

With its campaign that stars an athlete who gave up his professional career to protest racial injustice in America, Nike could end up doing something similar for that conversation as well. Maybe it already has.

Original Source -> How Nike’s Colin Kaepernick ad explains branding in the post-Trump era

via The Conservative Brief

Ramblings: Contracts for Jenner and Athanasiou; Schmaltz, Galchenyuk, and Kase; Weber Injury – July 6

  The Montreal Canadiens were dealt a significant blow on Thursday as the team announced Shea Weber would be undergoing knee surgery which would keep him off the ice for 5-6 months. Best guess right now is to not expect him in the lineup until Christmas.

While the Subban-Weber trade has been debated since it occurred, the fact is Weber was still a good defenceman aside from that. However, after missing four months of games last year and three months this year, the Habs are now looking at Weber not playing a full year again until his age-34 season. At which point they’ll have seven more years with an AAV over $7.8-million. Not great.

Good news for Jeff Petry’s dynasty owners, though. He was really good for fantasy purposes once Weber left the lineup in mid-December, posting 31 points in 49 games (17 of those points on the power play), averaging over 24 minutes a night and over 2.5 shots per game. He also had 82 hits and 88 blocked shots in that span. I suppose of the Habs want to be bold they can hand those PP minutes to Victor Mete but given how good Petry was, I don’t see that happening.

Petry’s ADP will be interesting. Assuming Weber can return sometime around Christmas, he will probably be slotted back on the top PP unit, relegating Petry back to the second unit. Fantasy owners might only get a half-year from Petry in that cushy slotting, and even then, it’s not guaranteed he replicates his success down the stretch in 2017-18.

*

The Blue Jackets locked up one of their core forwards but not the one maybe fantasy owners (and Jackets fans) were hoping. Aaron Portzline of The Athletic broke Jenner being extended by Columbus for four years with an average annual value of $3.75-million.

There is still the question of the Artemi Panarin contract situation but once Zach Werenski and Oliver Bjorkstrand are extended (the former has one year left on his ELC), the young core of this team will be around for another few years at least.

Jenner has been a fan favourite for fantasy hockey owners for those stout hits totals alone. Four of his five seasons have seen totals of over 200 hits and the fifth season was 102 hits in an injury-shortened 31-game campaign. Add in 15 or so goals with very good shot rates and Jenner has all the tools necessary to be a very valuable multi-category performer.

The question is whether Jenner can get back to the 30-goal plateau, or something close, as he did in 2015-16.

As far as individual expected goals per 60 minutes at five-on-five, Jenner’s been consistent over the last three years: 0.95, 0.94, and 0.90 since 2015. The actual goals have varied greatly, from 1.01 in 2015-16 to 0.64 last year. Shooting percentage is obviously a reason for that.

Expected goals take shot distance into account (it’s why teammate Cam Atkinson always has a high expected goals rate) and Jenner is very good at getting to the net; Jenner was second on the Jackets, behind Atkinson, in shots from inside 15 feet, according to Dobber’s Frozen Tools, with 68. In his 30-goal season, Atkinson had 106 shots from inside 15 feet. For reference on how good that is, in that same season, Patric Hornqvist had 102.

Part of that is the power play. Jenner had a career-high 170-plus minutes with the man advantage in 2015-16 but failed to crack 100 minutes in either of the next two years. If you’re looking for 30-35 shots missing from in tight, the power play is where to start. This is his shot map at five-on-four in 2015-16 (from HockeyViz):

That’s where all the shots went.

Unless Jenner gets those top PP minutes again, the 30-goal days are behind him. In order to get 30 goals, he’d probably have to get 25 or so at five-on-five, a mark only five players reached in 2017-18. With everyone else he brings to the fantasy game, even a 20-goal year would be more than enough to bring a lot of value to fantasy owners. Until he gets his top PP minutes back, though, repeating his 30-goal 2015-16 season is a longshot.

*

Detroit avoided another contract headache with Andreas Athanasiou by signing him to a two-year deal with an average annual value of $3-million.

Athanasiou is kind of a special case. He’s great at generating offence, whether it be getting in or out of the zone with control or using his flat-out breakaway speed to elude defenders. He’s not a particularly strong playmaker but given Detroit’s inability to score in recent years, having a guy who can break open a game single-handedly is nice to have.

It’s a matter of how he’s used. Jeff Blashill, as fantasy owners know, isn’t very kind to young players not named Dylan Larkin so Athanasiou could be anywhere from the first line to the fourth line on any given night.

All the same, Athanasiou saw his shot rate jump into the top-20 across the league last year, just behind names like Kevin Fiala and Evander Kane. Shooting as much as he does with his skill set should bode well for him crossing 20 goals next year. How much further he goes beyond that is up to Blashill.

*

Throughout my Ramblings I use a variety of sources. One such source is the All Three Zones comparison visuals from CJ Turtoro using data based off Corey Sznajder’s work. Mr. Sznajder tracks zone entries, zone exits, shots, shot assists (passes that lead to shots), among other things. We know that zone entries with control lead to more shots. The utility of knowing who is good and who is bad at such things for fantasy hockey is obvious.  

I thought I would go through some players on the radar of fantasy owners but not among the elite in the game. Players whose numbers show promise of either emerging offensively, improving, or in one case, re-establishing prior elite production.  

*

Alex Galchenyuk has a new home and he may even get a shot at playing centre. One might not think that getting traded to Arizona would be a huge boost for fantasy value but this is a special case.

If Galchenyuk is moved to centre, it seems likely that he would line up with Clayton Keller. It would allow the team to put two of their top offensive players (if not their flat-out top offensive players) in advantageous situations when possible while allowing Derek Stepan to soak up the tougher minutes. Galchenyuk has never played more than 16:26 per game in any season, and Keller played over 18 minutes a game last year as a rookie. If Galchenyuk indeed moves to Keller’s pivot, there’s your barometer for his minutes.

In prior Ramblings – last year – I compared Galchenyuk to Matt Duchene. People laughed. That’s fine. Here’s how they match up over the last two years in shots, shot assists, and both zone entries and exits:

How excited would the fantasy community be were it Matt Duchene going to Arizona to potentially play with Keller as opposed to Galchenyuk? Narrative and name value are driving the bus here.

Maybe Galchenyuk doesn’t line up as Keller’s centre. Maybe he doesn’t line up as a centre long-term. Regardless, Galchenyuk is a good offensive player who can help Arizona score. In fantasy, we don’t really care about defence. If he can find his way to the top line, you’ll want him on your roster.

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Anyone who reads my Ramblings knows I’m a fan of Ondrej Kase. He put up solid underlying numbers in limited minutes as a rookie in 2016-17. His 2017-18 season saw him pop 20 goals in just 66 games, playing fewer than 14 minutes a game. In fact, he was the only player to score at least 20 goals with fewer than 1000 total minutes of ice time in 2017-18. And he didn’t do it with a sky-high shooting percentage either, coming in at 13.7 percent.

Just how good has Kase been over the last two years in doing the little things to help generate offence? He’s been, uh, all-world good:

Now, it’s a limited 20-game sample for Kase and I’m not saying he’ll be the next Kucherov. What I am saying is he was a player identified a year ago for doing good things to help his team, had a really good year after that, and the numbers indicate it wasn’t luck, that it wasn’t a mirage.  

The issue here is Kase’s role. He was ninth among Ducks forwards in five-on-five ice time, fifth among wingers, and had sparse power-play time. With Adam Henrique presumably just taking over Ryan Kesler’s role on the power play, that PP time will continue to be sparse. Middle-six minutes with limited man-advantage minutes limits upside. Expecting more than 20 goals and 40 points is expecting too much.

BUT.

There’s a very real chance he plays himself to the top line this year. Jakob Silfverberg is tied to the second line and Corey Perry is far from the player he was five years ago. Keep an eye on your waiver wires. Kase is a very, very good player who just needs a real opportunity to shine.

*

The last guy I want to cover is Nick Schmaltz. He seems to get overlooked often in Chicago after names like Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane, Brandon Saad, Alex DeBrincat, Duncan Keith, and Corey Crawford. Schmaltz, however, has been beyond excellent for the Blackhawks when it comes to helping generate offence:

That’s over 800 minutes for Schmaltz, too. I’ve lauded his playmaking before, but other than being a shooter, he’s brought everything necessary for Chicago’s second line to flourish. Kane being there doesn’t hurt, obviously.

After Christmas, Schmaltz was a fixture of the top PP unit. Though Artem Anisimov is still around, Schmaltz was third in 5v5 TOI in calendar 2018 among ‘Hawks forwards. I know Joel Quenneville scares some people with how he handles young players, but it’s pretty clear he found his guy to play behind Toews in the second half last year.

Like I said, Schmaltz isn’t a shooter. If he can get 20 goals again, that’s a big win for fantasy owners. He’s more of a points-only league option, but this is a 60-point centre in the making in such setups. Once the elite guys are off the draft board, fantasy owners will likely be able to grab Schmaltz late. Believe in him.

  from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-contracts-for-jenner-and-athanasiou-schmaltz-galchenyuk-and-kase-weber-injury-july-6/

Drama Detectives: Is the Met Gala Even Fun?

Tonight, hordes of fashion models, Victoria Secret models and Instagram models will ascend the Metropolitan Museum of Art stairs into New York’s most glamorous soirée: The Met Gala. Affectionately known as both “the party of the year” and “an A.T.M for the Met,” Anna Wintour’s annual art fundraiser is where the who’s who of fashion flex on-theme designer garb, then sit down, eat dinner and get drunk. It’s the Oscars of the East Coast—except, you know, nobody takes home a career-changing statue, and everyone leaves wishing they wore the same thing as Rihanna.

It sounds like the kind of party any person—famous or normal— who be delighted to attend, right? Well, I hate to be the one to pop your Beyonce- in-a-pom-pom-plastic-gown-sized bubble, but per a breaking report from Page Six, the whole thing really isn’t that fun. According to an extremely credible Hollywood handler, the evening is pretty much the Mean Girls of galas: it’s “tedious,” “boring,” and “not that much of an enjoyable evening.”

However, like all responsible tabloid readers, I use my discretion when glancing over Page Six headlines. I mean, how could a party that costs $30,000 USD per ticket suck!? With this question in mind, I set out to do a little investigation. I might not be headed to the Met this evening, but thanks to the Internet, I have a pretty good idea whether I’d have a good time.

The Testimonies

Amy Schumer 

“It felt like a punishment,” the Schumer told Howard Stern in an interview, after attending the 2016 gala. “I left not the second I could. I left earlier than I should have been allowed.”

Gwyneth Paltrow

In 2013, Paltrow boldly declared: “I’m never going again. It was so un-fun. It was boiling. It was too crowded. I did not enjoy it at all.”

Tina Fey 

Fey suggested that Letterman “drink contact-lens fluid” before attending the gala. “It is such a jerk parade. If you had a million arms and all the people you would punch in the whole world, they’re all there.”

Lena Dunham 

In a since deleted essay for her Lenny newsletter, Dunham wrote: “It was like a crazy countdown to when [I] could escape.”

Demi Lovato 

 “I had a terrible experience,” Lovato told Billboard in a recent profile, “This one celebrity was a complete bitch and was miserable to be around. It was very cliquey. I remember being so uncomfortable that I wanted to drink.”

The Evidence

The time celebs smoked cigarettes in the lady’s room

Being  a rebel is super cool—until you get caught and are condemned. At last year’s gala, a group of renegade celebs—including Bella Hadid, Marc Jacobs and Dakota Johnson—turned the art gallery’s bathroom into a designated smoking area, sharing images of them breaking the law all over social media. Museum donors were quick to express their outrage, and the city’s health commissioner sent an strongly worded letter expressing her anger. Public shaming is not a good time.

The time Jay-Z and Solange fought in the elevator 

Back in 2014, footage surfaced from inside a Met Gala after-party elevator that showed Solange hitting and kicking Jay-Z. What did Jay-Z do to infuriate his sister-in-law to the point of physical violence?! What kind of high-stress environment leads to this kind of attack?!

The time Reese Witherspoon got drunk

In a viral video circa 2014’s Met Gala, Hollywood’s favourite Southern Belle tries—and fails—to pronounce Cara Delevingne’s name. ““I don’t know what your fucking name is,” she slurs, before offering the supermodel a bit of advice. “The most important thing about a name, for a girl, is that a man can whisper it in his pillow.” I would pay SO MUCH money to be insulted by a drunk Reese Witherspoon.

The time everyone took a selfie

Anna Wintour has banned cell phones from her ultra-chic event, but when you’re a Kardashian/Jenner/friend of a Kardashian/Jenner, you don’t have to follow the rules! Bathroom selfies have become a sort of Met Gala tradition amongst the elite event’s most elite. And while breaking the rules is fun and all, imagine being the *regular* person who walks in to take a pee and is met by a crowd of Instagram superstars. Very cliquey! Very intimidating!

The time Rihanna performed 

A party that’s also an intimate Rihanna concert? I mean, I could just avoid the bathroom all night…

The Verdict

Damn, the whole thing sounds extremely stressful—writing this alone set off my social anxiety. That said, Anna Wintour if you’re reading this, I would totally accept an invitation!

You Have To Find Your There

dpc_photography_

A few years ago, I was asked to work on a book project for a blogger and internet entrepreneur in the finance space. This was a person with an enormous list and a very successful business. They had more than 100,000 email subscribers, and from the paying subscribers they had created a business worth several million dollars annually.

As I sat down and read the emails and articles that this site created, looking for the bones we’d build a book around, I quickly ran into a problem: this person was not actually saying anything at all.

The emails were very compelling, don’t misunderstand. They sucked me from sentence to sentence, paragraph break to paragraph break, and then from one article to the next. They were in fact brilliantly written. I just could not figure out what this person was actually selling. The best I could come up with, after really digging into it, for hours and hours, was that the entire premise of this person’s pitch was: Buy options on stocks that go up in value.

Now, I’m certainly a proponent of simplicity and I will grant that often the most powerful messages are the most obvious ones, but that’s not what was happening here. Skilled copywriting and marketing was covering up an undeniable fact: There was basically nothing there. And as a result, it didn’t matter how big the email list was, how great a marketer the owner was, there was not much in the way of a book there. Because a book is about something.

In the short term, this had worked well for him. It kept people coming back subscribed to the emails, thinking that eventually the secrets were going to be revealed. In truth that was never going to happen. It was one of those situations that Gertrude Stein famously said, one where there is no there there.

It’s great to know your why, but if you haven’t nailed down your there, as in, what the hell is this?, that’s a big problem. One that you can only cover for with marketing or being ahead of the curve technologically for so long.

Much of the work that’s created online falls into this category. It’s not that Lele Pons or Amanda Cerny or Logan Paul aren’t funny. Humor is subjective. It’s that there is genuinely nothing there. When one watches their work, you can’t help but feel, as Marc Maron perfectly described, that you are actually being assaulted by a lack of talent. To paraphrase a burn from a classic New York Times piece, while it’s true that less is more, some sadly set new standards of lessness, and actually bask in the void of lessness.

This is not a criticism of the entire medium or generation, of course. If you watch Jerry Seinfeld’s interview with the YouTuber Colleen Ballinger (Miranda Sings), you see that outside the context of her medium (short-form DIY YouTube videos), she’s able to improvise, exhibit a mastery of her character, and keep up with another quick mind. Or if you look at the work of Kirby Jenner, you see that in addition to being truly skilled at photoshop and hitting the same Kardashians joke over and over, he can apply his absurd and strange humor in his stories. Even Tank Sinatra, who built his account mostly in popularizing other internet humor (or tweaking existing constructs and established memes), can make solid jokes on Twitter and create memes of his own (see a good interview with him here). The same goes for Casey Neistat’s videos. He’s not the biggest by any means, but he’s actually doing real work, so he will almost certainly outlast most of his peers.

This critique is not limited to art, it’s true for people too. The person who says their passion is social entrepreneurship but builds nothing and cares about no one. The person who pontificates about every political and cultural issue they can but never departs from a party line or leaves a virtue unsignaled. There is nothing actually there. And they wonder why they never accomplish anything. One of the ironies of Donald Trump, of course, is that a portion of the population responded to him because he seemed authentic and real and stood for things. In fact, he was a crazy mess of contradictions and this allowed him to provoke that reaction from all sorts of different people on different issues. But he was able to win because his opponent, someone far more qualified for the office, could not, for the life of her, give a compelling answer to the question: “Why are you running for president?”

Without a there, what is there? There is nothing.

And yet this is the strategy that most people allow to guide their work and their lives.

Pete Carroll, the coach of the Seattle Seahawks, talks often about the moment that he realized that he didn’t actually have a coaching philosophy. He had, up until that point, just been winging it—doing a little of this, a little of that, changing for each situation. How old was he when he figured that out? 49! (Thank God he did figure it out—and within 14 years he’d won a national championship and a Super Bowl).

It’s essential that we cultivate this ability to stop and look objectively at our own work. One must step back from it and say: Am I really doing good work here? What do I stand for? Am I actually moving towards mastery? Is there any substance to what I am doing?

I know this is not easy to do. I’ve resisted it too. There’s a story I’ve told before, but I’ll do it again: Early in my career, a piece I did on Stoicism took off and I got some interest from a small, hybrid publishing house about turning it into a book. “This would be a great book,” they said, “Many of our clients turn articles like this into books and then speaking careers.” Of course, I was flattered and excited. It was only by the intervention of Robert Greene, a real writer and a mentor of mine, who pushed me to decline. “You’re not ready,” he said. “Put in the work to develop yourself and in a few years you will be capable of actually doing this book at the level it deserves to be done.” He was right. There was not much there there, for me yet. When I looked at the material, I saw that I only had enough for a few chapters.

Now I could have paid to have someone help me work around that weakness. Or I could have, with my marketing abilities and platform, found a way to gloss over it. I am fortunate that I didn’t do this—that someone told me “Fuck your dreams” politely enough that I sobered up. Because if I had, that book would not have gone on to sell a half million copies the way that The Obstacle Is The Way did, and it would not have made its way through the NFL, through the US Senate, or to the CEOs and executives and celebrities that it has. That only happens when there is something actually there.

People often think that ego is helpful because it makes people ambitious. It makes them confident that they can succeed where so many others have failed. This might be true, but more often it’s toxic for precisely the reasons that I have outlined above. To make work that actually sells—that is perennial and important and meaningful—requires humility and dedication. It requires the objectivity and awareness that is made impossible with ego. Ego wants big numbers, not hard work. It wants to be everything for everyone, and often ends up being nothing for nobody.

The client above thought I could slap together a book—but I couldn’t. No one could. And he didn’t like hearing it when I told him that to succeed as a writer outside of his niche (where he was admittedly quite successful), it would require real work. It would require abandoning the crutches of medium. They didn’t, and that’s fine. Their choice.

But if you want to do meaningful and important work you have to push yourself toward substance, stretch your capacities until they are no longer such a stretch. If you want to be a person who people respect, you have to stand for something. Not everyone will like it, but if it’s sincere, they will respect it.

You have to find your there.

Because without it, what are you?

Read more: http://ift.tt/2xRu3Px

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You Have To Find Your There

dpc_photography_

A few years ago, I was asked to work on a book project for a blogger and internet entrepreneur in the finance space. This was a person with an enormous list and a very successful business. They had more than 100,000 email subscribers, and from the paying subscribers they had created a business worth several million dollars annually.

As I sat down and read the emails and articles that this site created, looking for the bones we’d build a book around, I quickly ran into a problem: this person was not actually saying anything at all.

The emails were very compelling, don’t misunderstand. They sucked me from sentence to sentence, paragraph break to paragraph break, and then from one article to the next. They were in fact brilliantly written. I just could not figure out what this person was actually selling. The best I could come up with, after really digging into it, for hours and hours, was that the entire premise of this person’s pitch was: Buy options on stocks that go up in value.

Now, I’m certainly a proponent of simplicity and I will grant that often the most powerful messages are the most obvious ones, but that’s not what was happening here. Skilled copywriting and marketing was covering up an undeniable fact: There was basically nothing there. And as a result, it didn’t matter how big the email list was, how great a marketer the owner was, there was not much in the way of a book there. Because a book is about something.

In the short term, this had worked well for him. It kept people coming back subscribed to the emails, thinking that eventually the secrets were going to be revealed. In truth that was never going to happen. It was one of those situations that Gertrude Stein famously said, one where there is no there there.

It’s great to know your why, but if you haven’t nailed down your there, as in, what the hell is this?, that’s a big problem. One that you can only cover for with marketing or being ahead of the curve technologically for so long.

Much of the work that’s created online falls into this category. It’s not that Lele Pons or Amanda Cerny or Logan Paul aren’t funny. Humor is subjective. It’s that there is genuinely nothing there. When one watches their work, you can’t help but feel, as Marc Maron perfectly described, that you are actually being assaulted by a lack of talent. To paraphrase a burn from a classic New York Times piece, while it’s true that less is more, some sadly set new standards of lessness, and actually bask in the void of lessness.

This is not a criticism of the entire medium or generation, of course. If you watch Jerry Seinfeld’s interview with the YouTuber Colleen Ballinger (Miranda Sings), you see that outside the context of her medium (short-form DIY YouTube videos), she’s able to improvise, exhibit a mastery of her character, and keep up with another quick mind. Or if you look at the work of Kirby Jenner, you see that in addition to being truly skilled at photoshop and hitting the same Kardashians joke over and over, he can apply his absurd and strange humor in his stories. Even Tank Sinatra, who built his account mostly in popularizing other internet humor (or tweaking existing constructs and established memes), can make solid jokes on Twitter and create memes of his own (see a good interview with him here). The same goes for Casey Neistat’s videos. He’s not the biggest by any means, but he’s actually doing real work, so he will almost certainly outlast most of his peers.

This critique is not limited to art, it’s true for people too. The person who says their passion is social entrepreneurship but builds nothing and cares about no one. The person who pontificates about every political and cultural issue they can but never departs from a party line or leaves a virtue unsignaled. There is nothing actually there. And they wonder why they never accomplish anything. One of the ironies of Donald Trump, of course, is that a portion of the population responded to him because he seemed authentic and real and stood for things. In fact, he was a crazy mess of contradictions and this allowed him to provoke that reaction from all sorts of different people on different issues. But he was able to win because his opponent, someone far more qualified for the office, could not, for the life of her, give a compelling answer to the question: “Why are you running for president?”

Without a there, what is there? There is nothing.

And yet this is the strategy that most people allow to guide their work and their lives.

Pete Carroll, the coach of the Seattle Seahawks, talks often about the moment that he realized that he didn’t actually have a coaching philosophy. He had, up until that point, just been winging it—doing a little of this, a little of that, changing for each situation. How old was he when he figured that out? 49! (Thank God he did figure it out—and within 14 years he’d won a national championship and a Super Bowl).

It’s essential that we cultivate this ability to stop and look objectively at our own work. One must step back from it and say: Am I really doing good work here? What do I stand for? Am I actually moving towards mastery? Is there any substance to what I am doing?

I know this is not easy to do. I’ve resisted it too. There’s a story I’ve told before, but I’ll do it again: Early in my career, a piece I did on Stoicism took off and I got some interest from a small, hybrid publishing house about turning it into a book. “This would be a great book,” they said, “Many of our clients turn articles like this into books and then speaking careers.” Of course, I was flattered and excited. It was only by the intervention of Robert Greene, a real writer and a mentor of mine, who pushed me to decline. “You’re not ready,” he said. “Put in the work to develop yourself and in a few years you will be capable of actually doing this book at the level it deserves to be done.” He was right. There was not much there there, for me yet. When I looked at the material, I saw that I only had enough for a few chapters.

Now I could have paid to have someone help me work around that weakness. Or I could have, with my marketing abilities and platform, found a way to gloss over it. I am fortunate that I didn’t do this—that someone told me “Fuck your dreams” politely enough that I sobered up. Because if I had, that book would not have gone on to sell a half million copies the way that The Obstacle Is The Way did, and it would not have made its way through the NFL, through the US Senate, or to the CEOs and executives and celebrities that it has. That only happens when there is something actually there.

People often think that ego is helpful because it makes people ambitious. It makes them confident that they can succeed where so many others have failed. This might be true, but more often it’s toxic for precisely the reasons that I have outlined above. To make work that actually sells—that is perennial and important and meaningful—requires humility and dedication. It requires the objectivity and awareness that is made impossible with ego. Ego wants big numbers, not hard work. It wants to be everything for everyone, and often ends up being nothing for nobody.

The client above thought I could slap together a book—but I couldn’t. No one could. And he didn’t like hearing it when I told him that to succeed as a writer outside of his niche (where he was admittedly quite successful), it would require real work. It would require abandoning the crutches of medium. They didn’t, and that’s fine. Their choice.

But if you want to do meaningful and important work you have to push yourself toward substance, stretch your capacities until they are no longer such a stretch. If you want to be a person who people respect, you have to stand for something. Not everyone will like it, but if it’s sincere, they will respect it.

You have to find your there.

Because without it, what are you?

Read more: http://ift.tt/2xRu3Px

from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2yDU8mY via Viral News HQ