babe are you okay? you’ve barely cried after reencountering ocean vuong’s “I miss you more than I remember you”
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I still haven't watched Boy (2010) but my beloved mutual @nofeelingisfinall has such a sincerity for it that I was inspired by proxy for them.
I couldn't decide which was the most successful so here's all four versions...
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it just takes some time.
you're in the middle of the ride.
everything - everything - will be just fine. everything, everyone will be alright.
(just take some time.)
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Dear x
I just had therapyyy. Was a very interesting session, I cried AGAIN. Don’t think I’ve had a session where I didn’t cry lmao. Didn’t talk about you, first session where that didn’t happen LOL. Anyways, I don’t know why I feel the need to write to you every time I have a session. I guess it’s because you were such a big part of my life and still are. Anyways, I just had dinner with r. It was very nice. Been skating a lot by where we used to work. I went in twice and it brings back a lot of memories. Sometimes I wonder if this is really where our story began and ends. And what a shame it would be if it is. I think of what we would say to each other if we saw each other again. I think I would smile at you, I hope you would smile back too.
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Thinking a lot about how Simon himself is, in essence, a walking ship of Theseus. At what point between Simon and Ice King did he become a different person? The crown changed him, sure, but it mostly just scrambled what was already there in his brain. And we know that even after becoming “himself” again, he’s been fundamentally altered by the experience. Ice King is still with him, even if the crown isn’t.
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sometimes, i read something and i get reminded of how much i feel for you
like when clementine von radics wrote “i’m afraid i will love you forever and we will never be in the same room again”, because it’s been, what, 10 years? and i still feel like a fool, still dream for your warm voice and kind eyes, and i use them to calm myself at night, alone, when i tremble, i think of you and keep you as my anchor, like a ship i carry you everywhere with me.
but what are the chances i’ll see you again? we haven’t seen each other in 4 years, you have a life and family and you have it build as a tall, steady house, long before i came and made a silly stupid cardboard copy of it so i can grow my garden of ivy over something that resembles it. and i watered it non-stop, nurturing it, as if i ever needed to, because it would have grown despite everything, because like me, all it does know is how to extend, how to spill over things, how to try in vain to protect something, no matter how hard you try to keep in inside.
i’m ivy because i don’t know when to stop, how to stop, i grow bigger and bigger in hopes no one outside will see the corners of the cardboard copy and in my vain hopes of helping, i always end up hurting the things i touch.
and what if i see you again? how will i hide my love from your ever-knowing eyes? how will i pretend i wouldn’t throw myself in the middle of the traffic so you would save me again, like you did 10 years ago? how will i pretend to be fine when all i ever known was to need you. how will i stop myself from spilling my disgusting love all over the table, praying you won’t run away at the red mess?
and if you run, how will i save me by myself?
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