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saiilorstars · 3 years

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Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 32: One More Time

Previous chapters // Montserrat's masterlist

Fandom: SVU // Pairing: Rafael Barba x OFC

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ‘mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog @maaaaarveeeeel @stareyedplanet @perfectlystiles @averyhotchner [If you’d like to be added to this specific OC’s stories/edits, send me a message!]

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Chapter Summary: Montserrat and Rafael are losing their minds away from each other over the course of one month...

1 Month Later.

"Oh, he's adorable," Montserrat gushed at the baby boy in her arms. The baby, in return, gurgled as if he was trying to agree out loud with her. Montserrat shifted on her chair to switch the baby to her other leg. "Olivia, I can't believe you actually adopted him," she told the sergeant sitting across the desk.

"Not adopted," Olivia corrected as she watched Noah fiddle with his hands. "His name's Noah and for the time being, he's going to live with me." She had explained the situation since Montserrat had been out of SVU for a good while now. She only came back and forth every once in a while and this time, she came to the surprise that Olivia had become a foster mother to the very child she saved almost a year ago.

"He's really cute," Montserrat loved Noah's rosy cheeks. "Definitely livens up the place, huh?"

"Yeah," Olivia chuckled and reached over her desk to toggle with one of Noah's hands. The baby gurgled with a toothless grin.

"So then...Ellie's...dead?" Montserrat lowered her voice as if the child in her arms would understand that his biological mother was dead.

"Yeah," sighed Olivia. "We had her in a safe house but...she left in the night and…we couldn't save her then."

Montserrat hadn't seen the pictures - not that she wanted to - but she assumed they were thoroughly graphic since Ellie had been burned to death along with other terrible things they'd done to her. "Do you have any ideas who might've done it?"

"Well, we assume it was someone from the high up but, for now, Little Tino is taking the fault."

"If he's taking the fault then it means he's scared of whoever actually did it." Montserrat stood up with Noah and gently handed him back to Olivia. "And, speaking out of experience, the person who did it might be the one in charge of the whole operation Ellie was part of." Olivia had no doubt it as well. "I should get going. I'm meeting with Damian and Calhoun again."

"How's your brother doing?" Olivia asked as the two slowly went for the office door.

"Well, he's better in that he's not in jail but...he's on trial now and things aren't as well as we hoped." Montserrat shrugged. "Things aren't adding up, Liv. Damian and Gael swear they did the final evaluations and the thing is...that footage is missing. Like, it's not where it should be."

"What - the company misplaced it?"

"No, the company is actually helping us look for the footage. Not having it makes them look just as bad as Gael."

"Well, I really hope you find what you need," Olivia said. "We really miss you over here. Plus, we're understaffed since Nick's doing cop work in Queens."

"Yeah," Montserrat's smile was a bit tight but Olivia didn't seem to notice. She was genuinely sorry Nick had to go back to being a regular cop for Queens, but at least with that he would eventually be able to come back to SVU as a detective. It would just take a bit of time. He'd gone for a month now without any problems, so...he was doing good.

"Honestly, I can come back if you really need me," Montserrat told Olivia wholeheartedly. She wouldn't want Olivia to go crazy trying to cover all their cases with only 3 detectives. "I'd just like to ask time to go Gael's trials."

"Thanks Montse," Olivia could breathe a bit in relief. She wouldn't call the detective in unless they truly had to, but it was nice to know Montserrat was up for the early return.

After leaving Olivia's office, Montserrat went for her things she left on her desk.

"So, any word on when you'll be back?" Fin asked from his seat. "Not that we're complaining but Carisi's a bit too much to handle."

"Ha, ha," Sonny rolled his eyes.

"Oh c'mon, he's not that bad," Montserrat swung her bag's strap over her shoulder. "Just give him some candy and he'll be good."

"One of these days, your jokes will stop being funny," Sonny frowned.

"But it's not today," Amanda chuckled.

Montserrat smiled at her squad. She missed them terribly. "I gotta go meet with Damian and Calhoun so I'll see you guys around," she wiggled her fingers and turned to leave.

"Hey Montse," Sonny called and easily caught up with her in the hallway. "Listen, I know things might be a little awkward, but…"

Montserrat turned so that she was in front of him, making him bump into her. "Awkward?" she repeated and tilted her head. "Why would things be awkward?"

"You know what I mean," Sonny gave her a meaningful look until she shifted on her feet. "I was there, remember?"

"Sadly," she flatly said. "But you know what? Over it. Done. It's been a month and I'm over it."

"I know you're mad-"

"Oh no, no," she shook her head. "I'm not mad."

"Really?" Sonny knew that tight, sour smile meant Rafael was still in her bad graces.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Even though he lied and chose to be with some woman who manipulated him, he has all the freedom to do it. I-" she gestured at herself, "-am simply removing myself from the situation because I'm pretty sure if I had him in front of me I might murder him - wait…" she pretended to think about it for a second before saying, "No, I'm sure I would murder him."

Sonny sighed. "Montserrat, if you would just listen to what Rafael has to say then you would see that it's not what it looks like."

Because it wasn't like Rafael hadn't already tried. He'd struggled to get Montserrat to listen to him for just a minute, even more to just stand still but...Montserrat was adamant that the choice had been made. He made it so it was only fair that she make hers...even though her choice was being made out of spite, something Rafael had mistakenly pointed out which brought out a whole new type of argument. (Sonny may or may not have sat Rafael down afterwards to go over everything he'd done wrong).

"Sorry," Montserrat waved Sonny off, "I have better things to do."

"Montserrat-" Sonny called as the woman backtracked towards the elevator.

"Seriously," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm, "And feel free to mention that murder part. I may be over it, but I hold a wicked grudge. I've been lenient this past month but I'm done now."

"Montse-"

"Maybe this is another reason why we shouldn't be together - I might kill him on the first date," Montserrat shrugged ever-so-casually with her wide, innocent smile.

Oh yeah, she was still furious. It was the quiet type of furious which, generally, turned out to be worse than the loud, screaming fury.

~ 0 ~

"See, this is the only video we have," Damian played the security feed of the final evaluation he and Gael did before the building collapsed.

Montserrat, Gael and Calhoun leaned forwards on the table to see the computer screen.

"But that's not it," Gael pointed with a deep scowl on his face. "That's the very last one - the one after I had checked for everything. It makes me look like I barely did my job."

"Okay, so we have to find that other security feed," Calhoun said. "And in the meantime, I'll be taking that video-" she pointed at the screen, "-as part of the evidence."

"But it's got me showing that I did nothing!" Gael exclaimed. "Why would you want to show people that?"

"Because the label is wrong," Calhoun said sharply. "And that means someone intentionally labeled it wrong."

"So it's part of the bigger evidence," Montserrat said for her brother's sake. "Proves that they were switched intentionally."

"Okay, then we gotta go back to work and find that other video," Gael rose from his seat but both Montserrat and Calhoun brought him back down.

"You cannot go back there until the investigation is over," Calhoun practically snapped so Montserrat went ahead and explained.

"If you go back, the D.A will make it look like you were going to plant something to prove your innocent. It's better if you stay far away from there until we figure things out."

"But what am I supposed to do!?"

"Be with your daughters?" Montserrat very wisely reminded him. "They really need you, especially Juliana."

Gael sighed. He learned of his teenage daughter's 3 day suspension when he first got out on bail and was overly upset with her, though he did understand her behavior sprang from his situation. Now as his trial had begun, he really strove to make sure both his daughters weren't in the fires of the media. "I suppose they do."

"Let us take care of it," Damian said. "I can go back and look for that video."

"If you do, be sure to have another employee with you so they don't claim you planted it," Calhoun warned then pointed a finger at Montserrat. "You're banned from that building as well."

"I know," the ginger woman rolled her eyes. "I'm not new at this, you remember right?"

Calhoun's smile was the definition of a frenemy. "Just do your job detective and I will do mine."

"This is my job right now," Montserrat reminded the woman as the latter prepared to leave the apartment. "So keep me updated at all times."

"I know," Calhoun playfully rolled her eyes. It was truly novelty being on the same side. "See you in court tomorrow."

When she was gone, Gael readied to leave as well. "I'm picking up Ivana and then Juliana early. Maybe we can have lunch or something."

"Honestly, that's the best thing you can do right now," Damian told him. "Just be with your girls. Montserrat and I have this."

"He means I got this since, reminder, being a detective is my job," Montserrat folded her arms over her chest. "It's literally what I do to eat."

"Still, I don't want you guys overexerting yourself on my case," Gael looked between his sister and best friend. "So please get some sleep and just take care of yourselves."

"We're fine Gael," Montserrat smiled at him.

"No you're not," he said too fast for her liking. "You've got something going on and you won't say anything. And don't try denying it."

Montserrat rolled her eyes. She would not be discussing any of these problems with anyone. She hadn't even told Kara about it - though Kara had assumed who Montserrat's problem was before actually hearing the story from Sonny later on - and Montserrat planned to bury that awful moment. Was it healthy? Probably not. Did she care? Nope.

~0~

Damian and Montserrat had stayed in the latter's place going through more of the files Damian took from his job. Being as thorough as possible meant neither noticed the time pass by until Kara and Sonny walked into the apartment.

"You guys are still working?" Kara wasn't surprised at all. For the past week this had been the way she'd find her best friend, not to mention her apartment kept looking like a storage room than an actual apartment.

"Well, my brother's still being accused of murder so…" Montserrat's sarcasm made Kara roll her eyes. "And he's on trial."

"Did you guys find anything useful?" Sonny asked. He hoped the afternoon had been used only for work purposes and nothing else.

"I mean, I guess so?" Damian looked over to Montserrat for confirmation. "I found some papers that Montserrat thinks Calhoun can use."

"It's just the previous signed evaluations indicating Gael did previous evaluations for each stage of construction before the final one," Montserrat explained.

"That's great," Sonny smiled for her. "It's definitely helpful in the case."

"Is it?" Kara smiled almost like him.

"Yeah," the detective nodded his head. "It establishes that Gael did the required evaluations before the building was finished."

"Yeah, except we still don't have that security feed of the final evaluation," Montserrat sighed. She leaned back on her chair and folded her arms. "If we had that, we would end all of this once and for all."

Damian put down his side of papers and moved to Montserrat's side. His hand went on her shoulder as he bent down beside her chair. "Hey, first thing tomorrow I'm gonna go back to work and I'm not gonna leave until I find that video."

Montserrat met his look with a soft smile. She would love nothing more than to finally put an end to this nightmare. "I really wish I could go there too."

"You heard Calhoun. It's best if you don't. I've got an idea, why don't we grab some dinner?"

Sonny scowled. Wow, the guy didn't miss a chance did he?

"Or we could order in?" suggested Kara who walked up to Montserrat's other side.

Sonny then smiled. That's why I love her.

"Thanks guys, but I think I'll just head to bed." Montserrat pushed herself up to her feet and offered both Mackies a polite smile. She loved that they tried so hard to cheer her up, but she just wasn't in the mood. Lately, she wasn't in the mood for anything.

"Are you sure?" Kara asked. She shared the same disappointment as her brother.

"Yeah, I'm tired." Montserrat shrugged again. "I'll see you tomorrow. Oh-" she stopped by the doorway and looked directly at Sonny, "-and I may come back a little earlier to SVU. My desk better be cleaned up."

"Oh that's great," Kara was relieved to hear that at least some part of normality would come back to Montserrat's life. "I really hope this can all end. It's taking a toll on Montse and I'm worried about her."

"I'm gonna go to work tomorrow and find that damn video," Damian promised as he went back to the table to clean up the mess of papers.

"Do you have any idea where it could be?" Kara asked. She started helping him put the papers together. "I mean, what guarantee do you have that it's even in there?"

"Because the video disappeared the same day the building crashed and there's been more security ever since. No one could slip out with the video much less not be noticed on camera they're trying to leave with it." Damian neatly stacked the papers on one end of the table then looked up at his sister and Sonny. "I'm gonna find that video if it's the last thing I do. For Gael. For Montserrat." Once everything was set, he bid them goodnight and left.

"If this trial doesn't end soon, I'm afraid both my best friend and my brother are going to lose their minds," Kara sighed once they were alone. She expected more commentary from Sonny, but all she got was a small nod and a distant expression. "Sonny?" she called and because her voice was sharpened, he finally looked at her. "What's the matter with you?"

Sonny shook his head, one hand lightly tapping the top of the chair Montserrat had sat in. "Nothing."

"Do not take me for an idiot, Dominick Carisi. You've been acting strange and even though I know you and Rafael have formed this newfound, closer friendship, it doesn't account for this strange behavior." Kara made a gesture at his current stance and though she walked up to him he seemed to move away. "What are you doing?"

Sonny exhaled and made a gesture towards the hallway, meaning to indicate Montserrat but all that came out of his mouth was a sigh. He didn't mean to do that, but what was he supposed to say? That he was frustrated two of his friends were equally hurting? That his girlfriend's brother was actively trying to win over Montserrat?

His face scrunched. "I should go, Kara. There's work tomorrow, after all."

Kara raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you really going to do this?"

"Do what?" he flashed her a smile but the moment he did she pointed a finger at him.

"Don't you dare use that charming smile on me. Why won't you tell me what you're up to?"

"Because I'm not really up to anything?"

Kara rolled her eyes. "Oh please, I know that's a lie. You think I don't know when Rafael tries to talk with Montserrat? She comes home with a face as red as her hair."

"Sorry, doll, but I'm not up to anything."

"Mhm," Kara pretended to fix the lapels of his jacket by pressing it down. "Listen, I'll believe what you say but...if you do happen to come up with a way my best friend can be happy again, I'll love you a thousand times more."

There was a brief smile on Sonny's face before Kara looked up at him. "I gotta go," he said softly.

"Aha," Kara smiled and leaned on her toes to kiss him. "Go on then. Do nothing. Goodnight."

Sonny had to smile as he left the apartment.

~0~

Each night when Rafael visited Forlinis, it was usually always done to grab some nice dinner that he had no intention of cooking at home. It was usually accompanied by the drinks he just generally loved. But as of late, the entire past month, he came to drown himself in alcohol. And since Forlinis had a wide variety of drinks, he had a vast option list.

"I would hate to think how bad your liver is," Sonny came to take the empty stool beside Rafael. The ADA rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. You always drink but now you're overdoing it, don't you think?"

"I think I should be allowed to drink however much I want to," Rafael raised his glass in the air, showing off the tiny bit of alcohol left. He then drowned it all in two seconds and called for a new one.

Sonny nodded and watched the bartender go get a new drink. He wasn't surprised, least not anymore. It had been a very tough month. "This solves nothing."

Rafael graciously accepted his new drink filled to the brim. "I never said it did. Look it's been a very busy day therefore I deserve to end it however I want to." He pretended to salute with his glass then drank it down.

Sonny knew that was bullshit. He let Rafael finish his glass, once again, before speaking up. "I saw her, if you're interested."

"Mhm, and I saw her yesterday and two days before that…" Rafael pretended to do some calculations of how many times he'd seen Montserrat that always ended with an argument. "Yeah, and none of those times have gone well."

"Well, you just have to keep trying."

Rafael shook his head. Each day the discouragement became more and more evident on his face. And how could he not be? Each time he attempted to talk with Montserrat she would either a) shout at him to leave her alone or b) very calmly, but equally angry, tell him everything was done. She was done.

"I think I have finally expended my attempts," Rafael said. "Montserrat despises me and with good reasons."

"Yeah, but the thing is-" Sonny tilted his head, face scrunching, "-she doesn't really hate you. Hate would imply she's over things which is a clear lie. And you should know that Olivia has asked Montserrat to be on standby in case SVU needs her back earlier."

But Rafael didn't seem so surprised. "Yeah, Liv mentioned it to me earlier in the day."

"And what did you say?"

"Nothing, was I supposed to?"

Sonny once again tilted his head at him, his expression seeming more accusatory than anything.

"What do you want me to do!?" Rafael scowled and looked away. The fact that Sonny may have heard him huff was just another novelty. "I'm not gonna further ruin Montserrat. She wants to come back? That's great. It just means I'm going to have to talk with her about something else." The matter of 'when' was just one of the problems.

"You know I could facilitate that-"

"No," Rafael pointed a finger at the detective, warning him not to even try. Montserrat didn't need to be angry with Sonny as well. Even if he was irritating sometimes, Rafael appreciated Sonny's constant help throughout this horrible month. "You're not going to do anything anymore. Just tell me...how is she doing?"

"... she's alright, in what fits. They're getting new evidence for the trial which, actually, is really good. Damian's taking it upon himself to find that missing a video - the very video that would exonerate Gael from all charges."

Despite not facing Sonny, Rafael could see from the corner of his eye that the detective was waiting for him to say something. "Well I hope he does find it, then. Someone should make her happy."

Sonny rolled his eyes. "We're not doing this - you-" he snatched Rafael's glass right out of his hand, "-are not doing this."

"Doing what!?"

"Wallow in self pity, what else? That's unbecoming of you, not to mention plain weird," Sonny put the glass down on the counter, by his side.

"It's not pity, I'm just tired," Rafael slowly corrected as he glanced at the detective. "You can understand why, right?"

"Yes, I can, but it's not really over. Not yet."

"That's all great, Carisi, but it's over for tonight at least. I'm taking a break, one that I'm sure Montserrat would deeply love." Rafael pulled out a couple bills to cover his drinks then promptly got up from his stool. "So, thanks but...why don't you just go back to Kara or something? Don't want to make her mad too."

~0~

It took a lot of courage for Montserrat to walk into the D.A's building, much more into the office of the person she wasn't quite ready to see yet (not that, that had stopped him from trying to talk to her). She drew in a deep breath before walking - striding - into Rafael's office.

"Morning, we have to talk," she said in a jumbled tone.

Rafael was stunned to see her plopping down into the chair across his desk. "Morning…"

"So Olivia's asked me to come back - officially sometime later this week - and of course I agreed," Montserrat shrugged. Her tone was fast but she couldn't quite look Rafael in the eyes. "I'll only be away to attend my brother's ongoing trial but I'm pretty much back."

"Well, that's great for you. Honestly," Rafael was slow with his words, cautious really. He never expected her to come into his office and much less willingly speak to him without shouting.

"I'm just here so that we can both get on the same page about what happened. I think it goes without saying that I don't want anyone to know. Nothing happened. We're just normal co-workers."

"I understand what you want but I have to say that I'll have some trouble with that…"

"I had trouble with your choices but I made it through," the sourness covering Montserrat's words were out of her control. But if it stung, oh well. "Think you can do the same for me."

"I can certainly try but I have to say it would be a lot easier if you would just allow me 5 minutes to explain--"

"And we're done," Montserrat got up.

Rafael frowned at her and got up as well. "No, we're not."

She matched his frown with one of her own. Equally matched, the irony.

"You realize if you would just give me those five minutes we could end all of this."

"That would mean I would have to give in and I'll be damned if I do that anytime soon."

"Mature."

Montserrat's smile was both endearing and frustrating. "Get a taste of what you'd be in for." She was attractive yet about to kill him.

"You're making yourself miserable, Montserrat," Rafael moved around the desk until he was standing in front of Montserrat.

"No, you did that all on your own," she glared.

"So then let me fix it. Let me explain and if you still hate me afterwards I'll leave you alone for good. Five minutes and if you still don't want to talk to me, then I'll stop trying. You'll have some peace."

Montserrat looked away but there was a slight look of inclination. She might give in…

But it all disappeared when Olivia herself walked into the office. She was, of course, surprised to find Montserrat already there.

"I was waiting for Casey to finish her some paperwork so we could go to the trial together," Montserrat easily supplied the excuse then discreetly threw a look at Rafael to warm him not to say anything. "Thought I'd wait here in the meantime."

"I hope it all goes well," Olivia said, nonethewiser of went went on with those two.

"I'll be back to the precinct afterwards, though," Montserrat promised. "Are there any new cases I should know about?"

"We've got a new girl, Luna, who might tie back to Ellie Porter's death," Olivia looked at Rafael and Montserrat for that piece of news. "But we're going to need some help since Nick is the only one who can help bring closer our two connections."

"Nick?" went both Montserrat and Rafael. They then gave each other looks for their unintended synchrony.

"No wait a minute, I thought Nick was stuck doing deadbeat cop stuff in Queens?" Montserrat asked.

"He's the one who arrested Luna, actually. But we want to use him to get to Luna's pimp and make him think Nick is on his side."

"It could be believable since 1PP did sentence him to a lower status," Rafael considered the opportunities this little gig would bring them in their case.

"That, uh, sounds…" Montserrat scrunched her face, "Honestly, I just sounds like I have a lot of files to read through to catch up."

Olivia sent her a smile. "It's all waiting for you when you get back."

"Goodie," Montserrat chuckled and started on her way out. She didn't bother looking back. Why should she? It wouldn't change a damn thing.

~0~

There were various trials going on in the courthouse. SVU had one going for an earlier case, at the same time Montserrat had her brother's trial.

She painstakingly sat through her brother's trial and silently listened to all the baseless accusations the prosecutor, Geraghty, threw at her brother. My God she hated that woman.

"I hate that I can't find that video," Damian muttered after they walked out of the courtroom.

"We'll find it," Montserrat tried her best to sound as positive as possible, but that missing video was seriously screwing them up.

Calhoun had already told them - warned them - that if they didn't find the missing video, their chances of winning were half and half. Montserrat wanted the full 100%.

From the other end of the hallway, Olivia was leading the way out of their own trial. "Tell me we've got this guy."

"It's basically a done deal," Rafael told her and Sonny. "No matter what he says, he's screwed."

Olivia seemed to believe him. She nodded and motioned Sonny to follow her out.

Of course for some reason Rafael called Carisi back all of a sudden. The detective in question slowly returned after getting the ok from Olivia.

"What is it, councilor?" Sonny asked but for the first few seconds Rafael didn't answer.

He was watching something, or rather someone. He finally understood what Sonny had been trying to tell him all month. There was Montserrat with Damian, talking yet the latter seemed to be unable to keep his hands off the former.

And it made his blood boil.

The worst bit was the fact Montserrat seemed to be taking comfort in Damian's touch. She had that warm, relieved smile on her face and her glossy eyes which could only mean she was close to crying. And about what? Her brother's trial. It had to be going bad.

"Councilor?" Sonny broke through Rafael's concentration. "Did you need something?"

"Yes," Rafael answered in a low mutter. He grabbed Sonny's arm, a bit harder than he intended to. "You know that stuff I said about giving myself and Montserrat a break?"

"Yeah…" Sonny was now giving him a strange look.

"Forget about it. One more time. I'm going to do it one more time and you're going to help me."

"Really?" Sonny's eyebrows raised. He didn't think Rafael would get over it so quickly, but then he noticed what Rafael had been looking at and completely got it. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"Shut up," Rafael ordered and pointed a finger behind them. "Now listen because you're going to bring Montserrat into the conference room. Got it?"

"Got it. How do I do that?"

Rafael's smile was promising.

~0~

"Look Sonny, I haven't actually caught up on the cases," Montserrat trailed after Sonny down the courthouse hallways. "Actually, I haven't read at all. I'm gonna need a few more days before I actually return to SVU."

"That's okay, Liv just wanted a word with you," Sonny turned the conference room's doorknob and gestured for Montserrat to go in first.

"Well I don't imagine what about considering I'm way behind," the ginger walked in and went around the table only to see Olivia wasn't anywhere inside. "Where's Liv?"

"She's back at the precinct, where else?" Rafael came striding in much like she when she'd visited him the day before.

Montserrat tilted her head, eyes squinting a bit as she thought.

"What are you doing?" Rafael asked her. He expected her to start yelling the moment she realized she'd been tricked. The fact she was quiet was scary. Yes, she actually managed to scare her sometimes. That idea was still troubling to him.

"I'm thinking…" Montserrat answered in an eerie calm voice.

"About how to talk calmly?" Sonny went with the most hopeful reason he could think of.

"Noooo," Montserrat whispered, still thinking, "I'm thinking that a premeditated murder would get me a longer sentence so I won't think about murdering you -- I'll just do it!" And she actually ran, almost charged, for the detective.

"Montserrat, stop!" Rafael moved in front of Sonny as if the woman would actually cause him harm. "This is between you and me so let's finally finish this, alright? One more time and then we're done. I swear!"

Montserrat turned her head slightly, looking him over with a natural suspicion. "Is that a promise?"

"I give you my word."

Montserrat backed away and gestured Sonny to leave. Before the detective actually left, he stopped by Rafael's side and whispered. "You know what you're doing, councilor? She's pretty pissed."

Montserrat walked towards the other end of the room, mentally preparing herself for this awful moment.

"I just need 5 minutes with her, I know it," Rafael sounded pretty convinced which led Sonny to wonder what the ADA had up his sleeve. All Rafael knew was that he almost had Montserrat yesterday if Olivia hadn't interrupted them. That was what gave him hope that it wasn't all over.

"Good luck," Sonny said with all the genuine care he had. He might actually dream tonight about Montserrat charging at him.

When she heard the door close, Montserrat finally pulled her gaze from the mahogany table. "That was a low trick and you know it."

"It was the only thing that would get you here, isn't it?" Rafael countered with the perfect argument. Montserrat folded her arms, lips pressing against each other since she knew he was right.

She absolutely hated that he was always right.

"What do you want from me?" came her quiet question. "Because, frankly, I'm a little confused. You told me to move on and I tried but now you're here trying to unravel what I've been working on so hard. I don't get it…" her voice cracked towards the end.

"That's what I've been trying to explain this past month, Montserrat, but you haven't given me the chance--"

"Don't you dare pin this on me!" she snapped. She stormed up to him with the deepest scowl that could mar her face. "I gave you ample time to speak up, but you always told me the same things. 'No, we can't.' 'It's unprofessional.' 'We need to stop'. It's only now - when I finally realized you had Yelina on the side - that you want to talk with me."

Rafael's hands shot in front of him, curling and uncurling in frustration. "For the last time - there is nothing between Yelina and I!"

Montserrat laughed in his face and turned away from him. "Sure. She's only the reason you were late to my brother's arraignment and you know, Kara pointed out to me that you didn't have to come. I should've just been grateful that you showed up. But that's not true. You made a promise and you blew me off for the woman who tried manipulating you."

"I didn't know she was going to suddenly drop back into my life. And the only reason I accepted to meet with her is because I didn't want her coming into my office - which she clearly did anyways. But I swear to God, all we did was have lunch - well, we danced around with words but that was it."

Montserrat shook her head. She kept her back to him so that could buy some time and get rid of the tears in her eyes. "Why lie about it, then?"

"Because I didn't think it was important?" Rafael flinched with her humorless laugh.

"Didn't think it was important," she repeated.

"It wasn't!" He had enough and grabbed her arm to turn her around, forcing her to finally look at him. "She wasn't important and I just didn't want to bring that up when you already had so much problems. I wanted to help you find the solution, not add to your list."

"How'd that work out for you?" Montserrat looked him dead in the eyes.

Rafael could look her in her glossy eyes and openly admit it. "You're in pain and I'm the reason for it. Worst mistake of my life."

Montserrat's scoff was a low and quiet one, like she was making herself do it. She didn't exactly have anymore words to keep fighting. She was too tired to keep arguing.

"Montserrat, please," he touched her face, immediately freezing her. She watched his hand as it stroked gentle circles over her cheek and then near her jaw. She had to physically stop herself from shuddering. He let her slowly walk her backwards until her back pressed against the edge of the table. "I've messed up several times and I am so sorry. I only wanted to do what was best for you but...I may just be selfish by coming back to you." His hands ran down the sides of her body, sending tingles down her back but she wouldn't push him away.

"I hate you," she whispered, sounding like she was out of breath.

"I know," he whispered back. "But if you give me a chance…" he nuzzled his nose on the side of her face, letting her feel his patterned breath against her cheek, "...I would really like to make you happy. You deserve to be happy."

Montserrat let her eyes fall close. She was so weak for his touch it was honestly ridiculous. When did this happen? When she first started in SVU, she was very sure that she didn't want any of his hands on her because he was outright annoying. Now she never wanted his hands to let her go...and she really wanted him to stop toying with her and move those lips of his onto hers.

Seriously, when did all this happen?

She moved her hands to press against his chest and push him away a bit, though it didn't really seem to do much since they only had minuscule inches between them. "That night...in your office, why was Yelina coming to see you?"

"Montserrat, is that really what you want to keep discussing about?"

"I need to know. She walked in like she owned the place..."

"That's just her personality. She came in because I cut our lunch short. That was it."

"She's someone clearly important to you and I...I'm really tired, Rafael. I don't want to keep arguing, much less fighting with some other woman."

"Yeah, she was important to me...once. But that ended a very long time ago. You are important to me now," he pressed his forehead against hers and closed his eyes at the same time she did. "I've laid everything out for you. In conclusion, you basically own me." Montserrat couldn't help but chuckle and hearing her laughter gave Rafael new hope that things were turning out good.

"Bring in your job why don't you," Montserrat opened her eyes.

"It's bound to happen at some point," Rafael did the same and opened his eyes. "You'd find out if we, uh..."

Montserrat's breath hitched when he purposely came closer to let his lips hover over hers. All Montserrat could smell right now was him and his cologne and that alone was enthralling. Her hands gripped the lapels of his blazer and the little bit that she tilted her head up brought them to the point that they were one move away from a kiss. "I want to kill you," she said flatly, though a small smile spread across her face in the next minute. "But I think I might just be saying that more often now." She rolled her eyes when he smirked not-so-subtly. "And wipe that smirk off your face."

"Make me," he challenged.

She'd save the snap for his smugness for another day. She kissed him like she'd been wanting to for such a long time. It was a hungry kiss that let all their initial feelings and tension out of the cages they'd worked so hard to keep shut. Rafael could finally throw that caution away and would never have to think about it again (or maybe just a tiny bit for later who knew). He wrapped his arms around Montserrat's waist and hoisted her up on the table. There was a slight laugh murmuring against his lips but his rough kiss silenced her. But with seconds passing he came to realize that Montserrat had her own tricks and ways because no matter how much he tried to be in control, she was pulling the strings. And the right ones too. She had him following her lips in whatever way she moved them. Her hand had found a way to tug his neatly-kept hair at the right moments that would inadvertently make him kiss harder each time, and once she figured it out she took good advantage of it.

Eventually, they parted to catch their breaths but Montserrat showed her widest smirk possible. She passed her tongue over her teeth, almost inviting him to come back. She passed her hands over his chest, letting them drift under his blazer until they found his suspenders and she was able to pull him right up to him.

"You've surprised me, detective," Rafael murmured, still breathless.

Montserrat arched an eyebrow at him. "Really? Well...just in case you were thinking about going back to...that woman." He rolled his eyes at her. "I dare you to forget me after that kiss...and the ones to come."

#ocappreciation #fd: svu #svu #rafael barba #svu fics #rafael barba fics #svu imagines #rafael barba imagines #oc: Montserrat Novak #fic: dare to forget me #i honestly think this is the longest slow burn I've written #I'm off to beat my own record on another story!

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