#i mentioned on my server but i feel like my love of rav makes my sketchbook look like i'm having a breakdown | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

serafxn-a · 5 years

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(( Hey guys. Mun here. I know, I know, I’ve been relatively quiet lately. For... a while now. I should probably give a life update. A bit more of a comprehensive one.

After a simultaneously wild and dull 10 years of my life beginning with university, which included a lot of online and a little offline drama, the end of a 7 year relationship that I’m still kind of reeling over several months onward, and a whole lot of paranoia and health problems both mental and physical... My life situation IRL took a drastic turn and almost brought my online presence to a screeching halt. Around May-June of this year, I moved back in with my parents, got a job at a major UK toy store chain, and have no longer been able to sustain my wild-ass 10am-5am living due to changes in schedule and having major responsibility for the first time in my life. One such responsibility being not keeping my parents awake til fuck knows in the morning, ahaha. And, y’know, actually getting decent sleep before work... (something I’m failing a little at right now,,,)

I’ve got mixed feelings about it, but overall... it’s actually been a pretty positive experience. Being definitively useful, wanted and moreover needed does a lot for one’s self-esteem. Knowing I’m good enough at doing something that people will take my advice, and that I will get called into work for more hours instead of having my hours cut, is kind of a good buzz, even if it’s taken a lot of getting used to and been stressful for my RP life. Not having any friends IRL sucks hard when I can’t talk to my online ones as much but... I’m trying to deal as best I can.

But right now, let’s forget all that. It’s time for me to be sappy, because it’s late at night, I’m sick, and it’s almost Thanksgiving. ))

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(( Now, I know I’m not American, so when it comes to Thanksgiving, I don’t go there. I might have humoured a “turkey” dinner of my own for a couple of years just so I wouldn’t be left out. Which I guess might be kinda sad but I prefer to think of it as an act of sentimentality.

And, what can I say? I’m a very sentimental person.

That sentimentality is what leads me to make this post. There’s so many important people I’ve met that I’m grateful for. I’d like to talk about some of them, because I don’t think I should be particularly shy about this. I might not get all of them, because I’m kinda scatterbrained (and at least as of making alterations to this part of the post mid-way through typing it it’s 11:30 and I have to get up at 8).

First off: if you’re in the Sunny Day Café server? You fucking rock! Even if you don’t talk too much in there, your continued support of my first real attempt to run a relatively public RP server is really appreciated. In particular on this front I’d like to thank Rose (blogs: @kxndncss @grxxnheart @hopxlcss), Shad (blog: @flapsinhands) and Ozi (blog: @magicbyhalves) for helping me with moderating the place. I’ll be the first to admit that my moderation skills are a bit... well, 👋. I’m often not a good judge of situations, and find it difficult to trust my own judgements. It’s something I’m having to learn. So the help is really important to me.

Of course, these three (who I will dedicate more time to in this post later for sure) have also been really helpful with plot stuff. There’s a particular group of people who’ve been helpful with plot stuff, actually, aside from these three, and I’d like to mention them too.

Let’s start with Ziz! (blogs: @unseenbutnotgone @seenbutgone @unheardanduncaring @distastefulblossom @setebcs)

My memory is trash, but I think Ziz and I started talking over Wings wanting to get to know Fin back when he was Sleazy? Because he was getting involved with his son, and of course a good dad would want to make sure his son is in good company. He wasn’t, but Fin grew from that, and I’m thankful for that too, but also I’m thankful for what happened when Fin ended up applying this relearned kindness when Wings’ son was forcibly fused with a corrupt fragment of his.

And then it all went really gay from there, and now they’re married and have spread the gay even further. It’s not even over yet, there’s so much potential for Reset and Fin still and I’m eager to explore it and fit them into this intricate new world that I’ve never really touched on in RP before. And to write with someone as caring, empathetic, funny and smart as Ziz? I’m really honoured. They’re really inspiring to me and I adore RPing with them. They put so much work into their muses, visually and historically and meaningfully and I just... 💋👌 Mwah. Ziz as a writer, and an artist, and as a person too - I look up to them so damn much.

And I definitely cannot mention inspiring people without coming to talk about Rose. She and Ziz were ultimately the reason I started to invest so much in my Gasters, they’ve provided constant encouragement with my writing, I’ve been able to bounce ideas off of them not just for my stories but for theirs too. They’ve been emotionally supportive and emotionally constructive too, which is honestly fantastic. I know I’m someone who has a lot of growing to do. I appreciate that there’s people who’ll stick by me while I’m doing it and help me along.

Rose is such a pleasure to write with. Her prose is utterly gorgeous to read, it feels like seeing the individual threads coming together in a tapestry. Her talent for finding mood music is fantastic and something I honestly aspire to, because mood music for writing or setting a scene is so so important. Her characters are always really well researched and have so much depth to them, and it’s really great seeing her influences because damn she has good taste too. And what’s more, I honestly do look up to Rose, because while her life experiences may not be perfect she’s accomplished a lot of things I would love to accomplish myself. She’s really inspiring to me.

While these are the two folks I talk to most, particularly about RP stuff, there’s a whole gang of bastards I’m thankful for... I’ll have to bullet point these guys because there’s a good few blogs associated with them and I want to try and include all the active/main ones?

Rav - @imbreaking-sans @imdespondent-sans @mraudio-the-audacious

Bets - @fellythealphaskeleton @xa-eviterx

Situ - @shadowbirdsitu @sourtrout

Del - @skellie-bean @pocketpunk666

Collectively these are people I know I can come to when I need help with things, RP or otherwise, people I can vent to, people I can share experiences with, and people I can laugh with and listen to and just generally hang around and be myself with. Which is kind of really important, especially when I don’t entirely feel like I can be myself IRL still.

Rav honestly has such a good way with words, both when it comes to people and when it comes to prose, and seems wise way beyond her years at times. Her level-headedness has sometimes been a little intimidating to me, but possibly because it’d been a rare quality in people I’d known prior, and something I’m often lacking in myself. I look up to pretty much everyone for different reasons, or sometimes similar ones. Rav is one of these people I look up to, in part because of this level-headedness. (And also because holy shit she’s dealt with so much and still come out on top!!) She’s a lot of fun to write with and a very trustworthy person I’m honoured to call a friend.

I think, if my memory serves me right, when I was really starting to talk to this group as a group - not as it is now, but as it had been, with a few different people there or not there - it was Bets I’d first encountered. And, well, I didn’t make the best first impression, I don’t think... but I like to think it got way better afterwards. Bets is honestly a really fun and wild character whilst simultaneously having that level-headedness I really admire in people? And like, she has wack plotlines (I’m looking at all the Felly stuff especially with fuckin BIRDSCAPE), but it’s so much fun to see them unfold and be a part of them! I consider her one of the comic masters of the group alongside Ziz, and though their styles are fairly different I have a high respect for both of them. And what’s more, I’ve always found Bets super easy to approach, which is invaluable to me as someone who is very shy and unsure of themselves.

While I say Bets was one of the first people in this group that I encountered, but as the group stands now it was actually Situ. Prickly and Fin had this thing going between them that grew into joke-flirting that became actual flirting, because when you do something like that it’s almost certainly going to stop being a joke if you keep doing it. If there’s one thing I’m a sucker for it’s slow burn and these two delivered so wonderfully. Situ has always been super friendly, super eager and super full of enthusiasm! And while I regretfully haven’t always been able to match that, I have always had fun RPing with her. I love her art, her muse designs, and - honestly this might seem out of left field one day could you gimme a hand with my hair? Yours always looks so good!! ... Er, that aside, you’re another really approachable person who I appreciate a lot. (I also admire your muse dedication like holy shit how many blogs do I have now)

I absolutely have to open with the Del paragraph by stating she is fucking hilarious. There’s a reason she’s using the Jevil icon on Discord at the moment; she’s definitely our Joker. I’m legally obligated to state she’s full of beans (it’s funny because the beans are her muses), and I respect her so much for sticking with child muses and RPing them so well when it must be really damn difficult at times. There’s a lot of challenges that come with child muses for sure. Del is also a great listener, an enthusiastic plotter, and an incredibly sweet person. Fun fact: she sent me a plush jackalope a while back and he’s sat by my bedside ever since, receiving cuddles when I needed them most! Another fun fact: she’s usually the person who initiates the “hewwo??” in voice calls. Chaotic alignment as hell.

I’ve talked a lot about a particular group of friends but they aren’t really the only people I interact with... and while the people I interact with regularly has dwindled a little, there’s two people not in this specific group who are still super important to me, who I mentioned earlier, actually.

I’ll mention Shad first - blog linked further up - as someone who I’m really glad I grew closer to? We’d shared a few friend groups but it took a bit for us to really start interacting, and I’m so glad we did. She has a fucking killer sense of humour and it bleeds into her RPing in the best way. Being involved in her plots in any way is freaking awesome, and she’s been super great about getting involved in mine in a way that’s really fleshed them out and given them direction and form. Not to mention she was one of the reasons I got back into Guild Wars 2 and we have such a good time playing together and talking.

I think at least for now the last person and absofuckinlutely not least I’ll talk about is Ozi... whose friendship with me long pre-dates my current blogs, as we started RPing together in the League of Legends community. She’s a really positive influence in my life, and I’m honestly really grateful that she’s stuck by me through our changes in fandom. Seeing her grow and improve as an artist has been an absolute pleasure, and her writing has always delighted me. The development turns she takes are fantastic and really well thought out, and that she can work with so little and make so much is inspiring as all hell. (I’m mostly talking about the amount of work she managed to put into fleshing out Thresh back when we were in the LoL fandom but damn she’s doing such a good job with Shantae in this regard too?? Thresh was just a lot more... bare-bones. Ba dum tsch.)

It’s about now that I’ve run out of steam and it’s past my bed time but I would like to say that this list is by no means exhaustive. There’s a lot of people who have put me on the path I’m on today, some who I may not talk to as much, some I talk to more, some who I don’t talk to anymore at all. Maybe they left my life on a good note, maybe on a bad. But each and every person we meet leaves some kind of mark, however big, however small.

I’m grateful for all the people who’ve not only left kind marks on me, but stayed, too. ))

#{}{} OOC #long post ))#(( sorry if this came out dumb or if there's any missing or incorrect details ))#(( i'm sick and very tired which is not helping my usually poor memory in any way ))#(( but pls know that i love u ))

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