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#i meant to post this weeks ago but procrastination and work hit me hard
grahamstoney · 6 years
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I Put A Show In The Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next
New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/shows/i-put-a-show-in-the-sydney-fringe-comedy-festival-you-wont-believe-what-happened-next
I Put A Show In The Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival. You Won’t Believe What Happened Next
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I spent the week before my Difficult First Show at the 2017 Sydney Fringe Comedy Festival curled up in a foetal position on my couch. It was right in the middle of music college holidays and I had been putting off finalising and rehearsing the show until this crucial break when I had no college work to do.
When I first submitted my application to the festival back in May, I figured I had plenty of time to get my act together. Come mid-September with just a week to go, for some bizarre reason I figured taking it easy was the way to go.
I had eleven songs I’d written for the show, mostly about experiences at college this year, which made up about 35-40 minutes of material. All I had to do was spin 20 minutes of stories between them and I should be sweet. How hard can it be?
Well, quite difficult it turns out.
Putting on my own show had brought up some pretty deep insecurities for me, like the old bullying I used to get when I was in the choir at my all-boys high school. After 30 years of therapy that was finally expunged at an Alexander Technique workshop I attended in the lead-up to the show. Surely the principals who run institutions that brutalise young men which we euphemistically call “Boys High Schools” should be hauled in front of some court in Nuremberg for their role in facilitating war crimes.
Nevertheless I had the academic transcript from successfully completing my Certificate 3 in Music Performance to boost my confidence, plus another marking me “Not Competent” due to an administrative error from the Group Choir Singing Intensive I’d taken over summer to tear it back down again.
I had had a traumatic experience playing a parody of American Pie at the now-defunct Laugh Garage opposite Hyde Park in Sydney about 4 years ago, and hadn’t played guitar in a comedy venue since. The first thing to do was get over that trauma, and since I wanted to talk about trauma and how to heal it in my show anyway, that seemed like the natural way to start.
To help take the pressure off I decided to play from my song book, which meant I didn’t have to memorise my own songs and could even remember the sequence of the show just by turning the page and seeing what song was next. All the stories about the songs were true and had been told in parts before, and they were largely just things that amused me. So long as an audience turned up and I focused on inviting them to join me in my own journey of amusement rather than trying to make them laugh or [intlink id=”2170″ type=”post”]make them like me[/intlink], everything should be OK.
I turned up to the first show with plenty of time to spare and spent the hour before my tech rehearsal sitting in the car down the road in sight of The Factory Theatre trying to remember how to breathe. Come rehearsal time I met the sound & lighting guy, gave him my MP3 player with the pre-recorded backing tracks for the show and started to calm the fuck down.
A couple of good friends turned up to see the first show and found me beforehand sitting outside the theatre near the bar. We had a hilarious chat and everyone was laughing even before the show began. That definitely helped put me in the right mood.
Then after years a delicate balance of preparation and procrastination, it was time to hit the stage for my Difficult First (solo) Show.
You won’t believe what happened next…
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If you missed it, you’ll love the Difficult First Show I Didn’t Go Unisex T-Shirt.
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jalapeno-princess · 3 years
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Angel of Mine
College Boyfriend Mark X Reader
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Genre: FLUFFIEST OF FLUFF, Doting boyfriend Mark that we all deserve
Word Count: 4.5K
Summary: You and your boyfriend Mark are cuddled up in your bed watching a movie when you are reminded that you have an essay due in a couple of hours that you haven’t even started on. Before you can completely break down, your boyfriend comes to your rescue and offers to write your paper for you. It’s in the moments of watching him so focused, typing away at your laptop do you realize how lucky you are to have Mark as a boyfriend.
A/N: Hey guys! So it’s the beginning of midterms here in Hawaii and i’ve already cried seven times I am not kidding you I have two semesters left of college and this is the hardest it’s ever been. I wrote this imagine for shits and giggles; i’ve never had a boyfriend before (HAHAHAHA CRIES IN FILIPINO AND KOREAN) so I wouldn’t know if there are guys out there who are actually like this (If you are, God bless you) (and if your boyfriend is like this, MARRY HIM) I actually watched a tiktok post on instagram right after I finished this where this girl said she was doing her boyfriend’s homework because he was stressed or whatever and if that isn’t couple goals than I don’t know what is (btw I do not condone having someone else do your homework) (especially if you force them to do it because you don’t want to it’s your responsibility and your education, but if they offer...it’s a different story) (LOL) anyways, enough of me blabbering, please enjoy reading while I cry in a corner.
“Remind me how I got myself in this situation again?” Your boyfriend gave you a knowing look and you couldn’t stop yourself from letting out a faint giggle at the sight of his furrowed brows.
“Because you love me.” He playfully rolled his eyes and continued typing away at your computer.
“Yeah, sometimes a little too much. But if I remember correctly, you promised to suck me off once I’m finished writing this damn thing, so don’t think I’m going to forget our agreement babe.”
To say you were a procrastinator would be the understatement of the year. Just a few hours ago, you and Mark were comfortably cuddled up together in bed while you both watched the live action version of Mulan. When your boyfriend excused himself to go use the bathroom, you decided to scroll through your Instagram while waiting.
After looking at a couple of posts from some of your friends and family, you were curious as to what everyone was doing and you found yourself going through some of their stories. Finals were less than two weeks away, so you were used to seeing your friends post pictures of them working their many assignments or studying for exams.
What you weren’t expecting to see was one of your classmate’s working on an essay for your English class that was apparently due in less than four hours. Only then did it hit you; you had yet to write the paper and it was worth 20% of your grade. For weeks, you told yourself you were going to start on it and when it was first assigned over two months ago, you thought you had all the time in the world.
Two months went by quicker than you could even fathom and you were frustrated with yourself for not writing it down on your calendar or completing it earlier. You practically ran over to your laptop and began looking up the rubric to see how your professor wanted you to write your essay and you could feel your heart sink to your stomach as soon as you read the requirements.
Mark was confused when he saw you no longer lying in the bed; the two of you decided to have a lazy day indoors and you’ve only left the bed twice to use the bathroom and to get something to snack on. This past week has been extremely rough on your mind and your body; so when you told Mark you had no intention on doing anything other than laying in bed and watching movies, he knew to trust your words.
“Baby, what are you doing?”
Your flustered expression only made him even more curious as to what could have happened in the few minutes he was in the bathroom for. You bit your bottom lip in frustration; knowing how Mark could be whenever it came to your education, you were afraid he was going to be upset once he found out you had only a few hours to write your essay. Since you were too much in shock to respond to him, he took matters in to his own hands and looked at your computer screen.
“Wait—I remember you mentioning this essay a couple of weeks ago—eight pages?! Six educational sources—and it’s due by 11:59 P.M. tonight—y/n what the hell?!”
This wasn’t the first time you waited till right before your assignment was due to start working on it. Matter a fact, most of your important assignments; research papers, group projects, essays and online tests were completed on the day they were due. Sometimes it was on purpose; you felt as if some of your best work were the ones you’d work on right before you were supposed to turn it in. You knew it had a lot to do with the fact that you felt pressured to do better knowing you had a time limit; but most of the time you were just lazy and didn’t want to do any work at all.
You and Mark knew about each and every single thing there is to know about one another. He knew of each and every beauty mark on your body and where it was located, he memorized all your aunt’s, uncle’s and cousin’s names, he knew the exact shade of blue that you claimed was your favorite color and he knew how you liked your tea in the morning.
The only thing he had no control over, was the way you handled your education. Mark thought the entire world of you; he believed you were the most hardworking, courageous, determined, generous and golden-hearted person he had the amazing pleasure of knowing. And he wasn’t being biased because you were his girlfriend, but you were the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen before. In his eyes, you were flawless; you could do no wrong—well; the only problem Mark really had whenever it came to you was the fact that you didn’t know how to prioritize your responsibilities.
After what happened to you right around the time you were introduced to one another, Mark would’ve thought that your mindset and outlook on how you managed everything going on in your life would change. He knew you were capable of great things; when you put your mind to it, you could finish any task that you were given and you were great with multitasking. Mark saw how much time, persistence and effort you would put in to your job or whenever you’d lend a hand to anyone who needed assistance; he admired your work ethic and how passionate you could get when it came to the people and things that you loved.
It was just harder for you to put time in to your essays, journals, blogs or reading the books your professors would assign. School was never something you ever really cared for; it wasn’t like you were really learning anything anyway. For years, you tried your best in being good at all subjects. You’d stay up studying for hours on end only to not retain any information that you learned and it wasn’t entirely your fault. The educational system was just fucked. In this generation, it isn’t even about learning anything; the main focus is turning in assignments on time.
The professors could give less of a shit whether or not you understand any of the material being taught. During your relationship, Mark tried his best to motivate you and even bribed you with food and kisses. He even offered to make flashcards for you if that meant you’d have an easier time studying, but nothing ever worked.
As much as he wanted you to be successful with your education, especially because he genuinely loved attending school, he knew not to force anything on you and making matters worse. This time was different though; this class was one you were already having a hard time with and this essay in particular would determine whether or not you pass or fail by the end of the semester. Your boyfriend tried his best to hide his disappointment, but it was only natural for him to be upset. Attending college was not cheap at all.
He was completely aware of the thousands of dollars you had to fund on your own because your parents weren’t able to help you financially as much as they wish they could. Since he was extremely supportive of you and each and every single one of your endeavors, he even helped pay for quite a bit of your tuition which you haven’t completely forgave him for, but you both showed him and told him on a daily basis how grateful you were that he did such a thing; and that he never fails to take care of you in ways you didn’t think you deserved.
A part of him wanted to continue his poor attempt at scolding you, but as soon as he saw tears building up at the brim of your eyelids, all his anger and frustration dissipated. If there was anything Mark hated, it was seeing you cry. The reason behind your tears didn’t matter; it just broke his heart knowing you were sad and right now, he pushed the idea of your procrastination to the back of his mind. He motioned for you to stand up and kissed both your cheeks to get rid of any trace of tears. Then, he pulled you in to his embrace and placed his chin on the top of your head before he comfortingly ran his hands up and down your back.
“I’m so sorry Mark—I’m sure you’re upset with me and you have every right to be—I’m so stupid—“ if this were under different circumstances, the cheeky pinch on your butt would’ve earned your boyfriend a punch to the shoulder, but you knew this was his way to stop you from degrading yourself. Before you could ever say anything negative about yourself, Mark would try and divert your attention away from bad mouthing yourself.
Although you and Mark were together for three years now and you knew he was the man you planned on spending the rest of your life with, there was an annoying voice in your head that would remind you almost every single day that you didn’t deserve him. He’s sacrificed so much for you and you knew it was because he loved you; but you never understood why. You weren’t anything special; sure, you loved him with every fiber of your being and you knew he was well aware of that. Yet, you knew he deserved so much more but there was no way you’d ever be able to let him go. Not when he was the one who saved your life all those years ago. The only person who meant anything to you.
As much as you loved your family and your friends, nobody could ever compare or mean as much to you. Nobody could ever be as important as Mark was. He was the only person you were sure you would die from heartbreak if you were to lose him. It was selfish of you to continue dragging him down with you and your toxic ways, but you needed Mark; you’d be nothing without him. He was your own personal guardian angel sent to change your life entirely for the better. He was the only good thing going for you and with the way he treated you as if you were the most fragile and rarest jewel in the world, you knew he wasn’t going anywhere.
“You’re not stupid baby—a little irresponsible and careless, but not at all stupid. Hmph, I’ll tell you what, seeing as how I’m better when it comes to writing essays, let me handle it this time.”
“No, there’s no way in hell I’m going to let you do this assignment for me Mark, I’d rather take the F—“ the soft kiss he placed on the corner of your lips made it aware that Mark meant business. Whenever he’d say something, he meant it. However, you refused to allow him to work on something you kept pushing back for months. Your essay was your full responsibility and it wouldn’t be fair for your boyfriend to have to write something he didn’t benefit from in such a small amount of time. God, he really did love you.
“The more time you spend trying to talk me out of helping you when I already made my mind up, the less time I’ll have to work on this paper. I don’t want you stressing over this; you’re already so worn-out as it is. This’ll be a piece of cake babe—you just sit on the bed and look pretty while I get started.”
Mark had to be a figment of your imagination. There was no way someone as thoughtful, kind-hearted, selfless and caring as him could exist. Most people would groan at the idea of having to do more work and if it were anyone else, you were sure you would’ve gotten a completely different reaction. You were quick to pull him in to a tight hug and left multiple chaste kisses all across of his face.
“I love you—more than I can ever fathom in to words Mark Tuan. You don’t understand how much this means to me—I’ll do anything you ask of me. Ugh, I will never get over how amazing you are and I could never thank you enough for all that you do for me.” He cupped your cheek and placed a wet kiss on your jaw.
“Anything huh? Maybe you could do some loads of my laundry, but that’s pretty much it—oh. I um—maybe you could—ah never mind.” You looked at him in curiosity and giggled when you saw the apples of his cheeks grow pink with embarrassment. Whatever he was probably referring to had to be something he was shy about. Your boyfriend was the definition of an introvert and he had a hard time asking people questions or even favors; this sometimes also included you. If you wanted to know what was on his mind, you’d have to pry it out of him.
“What is it babe?” He gave you the most adorable shrug and nibbled on his bottom lip as he began to look everywhere around the room but at you.
“Don’t feel as if you have to do this for me, I really don’t expect anything from you, but I wouldn’t mind a blow job if you’re up for it later.” One thing you loved the most about Mark, was how gentle and awkward he would get whenever it came to initiating sex or insinuating that he wanted a sexual favor from you. It was cute, yet it also turned you on for some reason. Maybe it was because he’d act totally innocent and submissive since he never wanted you to feel uncomfortable and he preferred to take things at your pace; but once the two of you actually made love, his attitude would take a 360 degree turn.
Sex with Mark was your favorite past time; he could get very naughty and rough in bed, but he could also take things slow and sensually. It really depended on the mood, but your boyfriend was an extremely generous and passionate lover. He knew what you liked, what positions you enjoyed the most, how to lick, bite and suck on all your sensitive body parts in order to elicit any kind of needy reaction out of you. It really boggled your mind that someone like Mark—someone so perfect without a flaw at all actually existed and what was harder to believe was that you were the lucky girl who was extremely blessed to call him yours.
That was something you would never take for granted; nor did you think you would ever get used to having him in your life. You seductively made your way on to his lap and began leaving sloppy kisses against his nape. This beautiful man sitting in front of you was willing to do your homework in order to prevent you from having a mental breakdown. He was willing to sacrifice his time to work on an assignment that wasn’t his responsibility to take care of just so that you didn’t have to suffer. Honestly, what world war did you fight and win in your past life to be the one that receives Mark’s love every single day? Whatever it is that you did to be able to call Mark your boyfriend, you would do it again and again if it meant having him in each and every single lifetime.
“Fuck—babe—as good as that feels, I only have three hours—y/n—you know, I’m actually thinking about taking you on your offer—just settle for the F and I’ll get settled in between your pretty thighs—“ you couldn’t help but stifle back a giggle once you heard the soft whine fall from his lips after you got up from off his lap, but he was right. He was already doing your homework for you, the least you could do was sit on the side and prevent yourself from bothering him.
“Oh yeah—you’re definitely taking me down your throat as soon as I turn in this paper. Now do as I said and sit down on the bed. Your presence alone is such a distraction and fuck—I’ve been hard since this morning when you walked out in my shirt. Damnit y/n—I really want to have my way with you right now. Please use this experience for future reference. I can’t believe I’m being cockblocked by a research paper of all things.”
You watched as Mark quickly skimmed through the rubric; you knew your boyfriend wanted to make sure he understood the material before typing out a bunch of nonsense. The last thing he needed was to spend all this time and effort looking for resources, citing them and looking for both spelling and grammatical errors only to earn you a bad grade. If Mark wasn’t there and you just so happened to find out about the essay, you wouldn’t have even attempted to write anything.
Your mindset in college was that if it seemed impossible, you would just give up on it entirely. Mark’s mindset however, was more realistic and you wished you had the motivation and enthusiasm that seemed to live in his bloodstream. Watching him so focused as he typed away like nothing was such an inspiring sight. English was one of your boyfriend’s favorite subjects; he loved reading all kinds of books—from murder mystery to comics and romance novels, Mark always preferred reading over watching a movie or television shows.
But, if there was anything he enjoyed more than reading, it was writing. Normally, the day his professor would assign him an essay, proposal, research paper or journal entry was the same day he would complete it and turn it it. There had to be something wrong with him. What person in their right mind genuinely enjoyed writing thousands of words, making sure there weren’t any errors and that the paper in its entirety actually made sense? You knew not to bother him, but you couldn’t help staring at him in all his handsome glory. His brows were furrowed and he began biting his lip in concentration; you didn’t think it was possible for someone to look like a model straight from an ad or a magazine while typing out an English paper.
“Can I get you something to eat or drink babe?” He quickly shook his head in disagreement without even looking up—he was too focused in whatever it was he could be typing.
“I think I need a couple of kisses though, you know—to help me reenergize.” You playfully rolled your eyes at his cheeky request before getting up and placing a few soft kisses against his mouth.
“So how’s it coming out?” He scrunched his nose before giving you a slight shrug.
“If I’m being honest, this probably isn’t my best work, but I’m sure it’s fine. I’m almost done by the way—so I’ll have you look it over to make sure it’s to your liking and then you can turn it in. Maybe you should start preparing your gratuity and tie your hair up. Might as well take your pants off while you’re at it—ow! I’d be careful if I were you baby. I might just replace your name with mine and confuse the shit out of your professor—yeah, that’s what I thought. Now, be a good girl and return back to bed.”
As much as you wanted to continue messing around with him; only because you were enjoying how demanding he would get when he was under stress, you knew better than to distract him. You decided to find something else to occupy yourself with as Mark returned to typing profusely at your laptop. It was extremely fascinating how he didn’t even take a second to think about what to write. The words seemed to just flow out of his brain like it was the easiest thing in the world and you were growing envious of his ability to come out with such quality and detailed work in such a small amount of time.
Around twenty minutes later, Mark let out a sigh of relief and brought his hands behind his back—a sign that he was finally finished. He motioned for you to walk over to your desk and had you sit on his lap. Out of habit, he snaked his arms around your waist and placed his chin on your shoulder; wanting to be as close to you as possible.
“Ten pages, twelve sources and it’s only 9:15. Tell me what you think baby.”
Right as you finished reading just the first paragraph alone, you were at a loss for words. Even if you were to start writing this paper when you first received the assignment from your professor, you were sure nothing you could write would be at least half as amazing as this paper was. It wasn’t repetitive—nor did he use nonsense words or anything you were sure you probably would have added in. He put all his sources in alphabetical order and inserted page numbers at the bottom of each page.
You could see why Mark’s previous English professor had asked him on multiple occasions to be her TA. The word brilliant wasn’t even enough to describe the kind of student Mark was. For someone who never really cared about reading English papers; whether it was an assignment for class, or when you had to give constructive criticism on one of your fellow classmate’s work, you would always skim through their essays—but you found yourself reading each and every single word Mark had typed out. His essay had you hooked; it was one of those writings that you were sure anyone would actually enjoy having to read. How was he able to finish all of that so quickly? By the end of it, you were in tears and you didn’t even realize you were crying until you felt Mark giggle in to your neck.
“Why are you crying Bub? I don’t think what I’ve written is at all that depressing. I literally wrote about biodegradation and how to save the earth—“
You didn’t give him any chance to continue his explanation as you roughly smashed your lips against his. Mark did so many things for you on a daily basis. He didn’t have to say he loved you for you to know that he did—his actions spoke for him. Knowing how most guys could be, you were sure no boyfriend would waste his time completing an assignment, especially one so time consuming needed all your knowledge and effort—for his girlfriend.
College was rough on everyone; so to take on something you thought was extremely difficult in order to prevent you from stressing out more than you already were—it made tears fall from the brim of your eyelids. You continued your ministrations, licking his lips and bringing both the bottom and the top in between your teeth before sucking on his tongue. Feeling him hum in to your mouth sent warmth to your core. In your relationship, you were the more extroverted and talkative one. You could go on and on about any subject you were passionate about.
However, just like Mark; you were more about actions than words—mainly because you felt like there weren’t enough words in the English dictionary to actually form sentences that would describe just how much you loved Mark wholeheartedly and exactly what he meant to you. When you felt his excitement press up against your ass, you knew what was right about to happen; but you wanted him to know verbally how grateful you were for him before showing him physically.
“Fuck—how did you—what kind of drug are you on Mark? That was one of the best essays I’ve ever read. There’s no way my professor is going to believe I wrote that. This is honors worthy—you’re—I can’t even find a word good enough to describe you. Otherworldly? Wonderful? Perfect? I love you so much Mark. Fuck, do I love you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I don’t know what I did to have you in my life, but I would do it again and again to have you forever. I know you hate when I say this, but it’s the truth baby—I really don’t deserve you. Thank you, not just for typing this essay—fuck I still can’t even process this entire situation you need to sign up for scholarships or some shit you are so fucking intelligent and such a hardworking student. But—thank you for loving me. You really are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am forever grateful for whoever it was that decided to bless me with you as my soulmate. I love you Mark Tuan.” His wide grin and the way he looked at you so adoringly made your heart melt.
“I’d do anything for you—you know that baby. It’s just—seeing you so distressed—so frustrated and unhappy with school, watching you overwork yourself to the bone—it fucking sucks. Especially when I see you beating yourself up over grades you have no control over. I know you try your best in every single thing that you do and I know that it’s easy to forget some important things and fall behind, but I will always be there to catch you—and to assure you that everything is going to be okay. You’re my person y/n—it’s my life duty to take care of you. However—don’t get used to this baby, as much as I love you—trust me—I love you with every breath I take and with every beat of my heart—but shit, that was rough. Oh—and I never want to hear you say you don’t deserve me ever again. You take care of me just as much as I take care of you. It’s a team effort babe. Now, with that being said, you caused a big problem in my pants over half an hour ago and I think it’s time that you solved it.”
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18- Ashton Irwin
A/N: another 5sos fic! Ashton Irwin x y/n. Y/n’s gender is female for this fic, it just made it easier to write, my apologies to anyone it might upset, but you can always request. Feel free to correct any mistakes! Requested by @suchalonelysunflower​ for my writing challenge: Lizza my darling, for the writing challenge I shall ask the song 18 by One Direction and any of the 5sos boys ❤️ my heart needs fluffy/angst or whatever you chose to do 💕🦋. i was supposed to post it a while ago...whoops.  *=song lyrics 
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*I got a heart and I got a soul
Believe me, I will use them both
We made a start, be it a false one I know
Baby, I don't want to feel alone*
For as long as they can remember, Ashton and y/n were always parts of each other's lives. Their mothers had become friends around their time of pregnancy since y/n’s mother had just moved in next door. Despite that, Ash and y/n barely talked. When they were 10, Ash had scared her off by bullying her. It wasn’t intentional, he just had a crush on her and like most young boys, he became slightly rude towards her till it progressed to the point where he was seen as a bully.
It wasn’t until they were 17 that they became close. y/n’s father, who wasn’t really in the picture, had passed. It hit her hard. Though they were never close, when he passed y/n realized that even if she wanted to fix her relationship with her father, it was too late.  Ashton knew what it was like to grow up without a father, so he took her under his wing. The first couple months together Ash had tried to get her to go out more often and join some clubs at school, but she refused. Soon their friendship grew to the point where they felt most happiest next to each other.
When Ashton joined the band, 5 seconds of summer, he begged y/n to meet the boys. It took until their third performance together for y/n to meet them. Though she was closed off most of the time, she had grown slightly close to Ash's old band member in “swallow the goldfish”. She didn’t want to get close to them if they weren’t going to be in their lives for long. Seeing as the boys of 5sos were younger, she didn’t think that Ash would be there for long. Especially since Micheal had only asked him to join because they needed a drummer for their first jig. 
After the band had taken off, Ash had asked y/n to go on tour with them. She did, and while there she grew even closer to Ash. she got to know him more, she helped him through everything and never questioned when he needed a shoulder to cry on.
*So kiss me where I lay down
My hands pressed to your cheeks
A long way from the playground*
Their first kiss was magical, but they pretended it never happened. Ash and the guys had just gotten to the hotel after a performance. It was their first concert for the Youngblood tour and the excitement had gotten to him. He wanted to see y/n, so he rushed his goodbyes to the guys and rushed to the elevator. Of course she had gone to the show, but she had some work to catch up on. She wasn't a teen anymore. She had a job, it was pure luck that when she went in to ask for a week or so off that her boss was in a good mood. He walked in on her lying in bed, computer open next to her.
“Procrastinating?” he asked, spooking her as he leaned on the wall. 
“I guess you could call it that.” she teased “ i finished most of it, but i can’t seem to figure out the rest of it and i’d rather do it with a big cup of coffee in the morning.” 
“Well, I'm happy you’re done for the night. Only because that means I get to binge watch criminal minds with you.” It had been a long day, nothing could be better than watching a show and eating a big meal with your best friend. “What did you want to order?”
“Well there’s room service, but i’ve been craving chinese food for a while.” she answered while pausing the Grey’s anatomy and looking up at him.
“Guess it’s chinese then.” he winked and pushed himself off the wall. Shoes were thrown off and a big jump was made onto the bed. “The usual?” He questioned, not noticing that she was staring.
“Yep, and-”
“-Don’t forget the egg rolls” he interrupted as he typed into his phone. She blushed. She knew that he knew her well, but sometimes even the little things can make her heart beat faster than if she were to go skydiving. Focusing her attention back onto the laptop, she figured now would be the best time to change the show. 
After dinner they laid on the bed, computer in between them, season 8 of criminal minds playing. As the fifth episode they watch that night ends, Ash looks over at her. She felt the stares, so she looked over. Before anything could be spoken, he places his hand on her cheek and brings her closer. y/n’s breathing picks up speed. Once their lips met, their eyes shut. y/n leaned closer, fingers inching towards the back of his head and pulling slighting on the hair that was at the beginning of his neck. The kiss was passionate. In the movies, they always describe first kisses like fireworks. This was better. It was as if the whole world disappeared. Or as if they have finally been able to hold something that seems too far away, but just as fast as the kiss started...it ended. In a matter of seconds whatever it was they held in their grasp, it was gone. 
They pulled away and Ash started mumbling to himself. He left the room, leaving his shoes and phone. That night y/n cried, all night. Her protector was gone and her heart was shattered. He shattered it. 
The day afterwards, she went to Ash and Calum’s room. Ashton was still asleep, so Calum opened the door. She gave him Ash’s belongings and then went down to breakfast. When the band joined her, the pair of forbidden lovers acted like normal. They joked around and the boys didn’t suspect a thing.
*And all I can do is say that these arms were made for holding you
And I wanna love like you made me feel
When we were eighteen*
Now, in 2020, both Ashton and y/n were in quarantine….on opposite sides of town. It had been forever since they last saw each other. It had given them time to grow separately and to think about what they really wanted. y/n knew for years that what she wanted was Ash. she knew the moment he walked into her home asking if she needed anything. It was a lot of work throughout these months for her to figure out that what she needed was him. She had him, but not fully, not the way she wanted. During the months of 2020, Ashton had gone through a break up. It didn’t hurt him as much as he thought. As much as anyone thought. If he was being honest with himself, it didn’t hurt at all. Ash used his time off making music. Some of which anyone could listen to. Specific songs though, they were meant for one person. y/n. He had never been the best at expressing his feelings, unless it was through music. 
That led him to where he is currently. Sitting at his desk, listening to the song he wrote for her, over and over again. He was going to send it, he had to. He wanted her completely. He wanted her in his arms, like she was meant to be. He press sent, then waited. He only took his eyes off the screen, to grab water. He waited, but nothing ever came. Nothing but the word “seen”. He sent another message to clarify that it was to her...and about her. After about half an hour, tears started to pour down his face, the anxiety won. He broke down. 
When y/n received the text she just finished showering. It had been sent 5 minutes ago. She sat and listened to the melody that played after pressing the link he had sent. Going back to the messages, she wanted to compliment the song, she saw the new text he had sent. Tears started to fall down her eyes, but they were tears of joy. Instead of texting back, she rushed up and grabbed her keys. She needed to see him just as much as she needed air.
When she arrived, her legs became like that of a cat’s. Fast. she knocked on the door, listening to her thumping heart. The door opens. Everything clicks together perfectly, all initiated by y/n.. First their eyes, then their hands, and finally their lips. It took a second for Ash to realize what was happening and when he did the kiss took a turn. It turned sloppy and desperate, somehow the passion could still be felt. Ashton pulled her inside the house by her waist, closing the door with his foot and pressing her onto it. They pull away, still close with their breaths mixing together.
“I love you” y/n whispers tugging his hair again.
“I have loved you since we were 18” 
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haileygonzales · 3 years
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First Chapter of Nerdy, Aro Novel!
CHAPTER ONE
They’re not looking at you. They’re not looking at you. They’re not-
“Um, where do I sit?” I ask, shifting my weight to the side. It’s a lie. They are. I had arrived thirty minutes early for nothing. Mr. Zhong had arrived just as bell announcing class rang. What ever happened to teachers coming to school early? I’ve never been a new student before, and Greensville never had new students. Did teachers actually expect you to stand and introduce yourself? And it’s not like I could just sit down. Its October, seats are already in place. Taking someone’s spot would be a cardinal sin.
Mr. Zhong looks up from his papers he’s just slammed onto his desk and smiles warmly. “Sorry- sorry just running a bit behind today. What’s your name?”
“Paige Solano.” I glance nervously at the students slowly piling in, most of them glancing curiously at me. My body feels hot. I tense up. They’re not staring. They’re not staring. It’s fine. I’m okay. I push my glasses up further on my face.
“Let me see… There it is. I have a seat right there, Ms. Solano.” He points to the back of the classroom next to the door. The tightness around my chest eases. At least I don’t have to worry about being in the front. I make my way to my seat with my head tucked down.
I pull out my binder, glancing at the piece of paper tucked into the side. Right. My goals for the year. I’m always making to do lists and goals. It’s supposed to help me focus, but I’m a procrastinator down to my core.
PAIGE’S GOALS FOR THE YEAR
·              Make true friends
·              Don’t be afraid to tell your interests- Anime! Fanfiction! Art!
·              Wear nerd shirts for two whole weeks
My hand trembles around my pencil. I glance back up at Mr. Zhong. There’s something missing. It’s been in the back of my mind but writing it down just feels odd. Mr. Zhong is in the zone, pointing to the grammar example on the screen projector. It’s been years since I’ve seen one of those. I look around making sure that no one’s checking out my paper. Screw it. I said I’d make the best of this move.  If I’m being honest, I wasn’t even sad to leave Greensville. I wouldn’t miss the people I hung out with because they weren’t actual friends. We just hung out, so we wouldn’t be by ourselves. I take a deep breathe. Okay, I’ll write it.
·              Lose my virginity
My face burns. If my mom sees this, I’ll just about die. It’s a funny thing being aromantic. I had only just discovered that word about a year ago, but hearing it changed my life. I’m in my junior year right now and I had never had a crush. I didn’t understand people that did. I just… I never felt that way. I didn’t feel romantic attraction. I never had the thought: I want to date him.
For a while, I thought romance books were a lie because I hadn’t felt what they told me I should feel. Of course, that’s when I discovered a reddit forum and found the word aromantic. No romantic feels necessary here. Though that left a problem. I’m not asexual. I do feel lust. I think guys are hot and I want the sex. I’m ready. But I don’t want a boyfriend and the thought of having one just makes me feel all gross inside, so that left me with one option. A hook-up. No yucky feelings about being attached to romantically. Just sex.
I close my binder and pull out my notebook. There’s no way I’m letting anyone see that list. I write down the examples Mr. Zhong has on the screen, but my mind is elsewhere. I didn’t want those distant relationships I’ve had with friends. The sad thing is those are the kind of friends I’ve had all my life.
But I’m going to change that with this move.
I swear it.
“How was your day, sweetie?” Mom asks once she comes home from work. When Mom upped and announced our move out of nowhere, I hadn’t questioned it. I was relieved, but too shy to tell her. But I knew being relieved shouldn’t have been a normal reaction. According to all the movies and shows, I should’ve thrown a fit and hated her. But I wasn’t. Greensville just felt so stifling. I grew up with the same kids from kindergarten to junior high and by now, their opinions of who I was had already caged me in. Shy Paige. Quiet Paige. Nice Paige. But I’m not that. Or rather, not just that.
I hadn’t realized until we left town with all of our stuff jammed into our car what it truly meant. That Dad wouldn’t be just a ten-minute walk from school. That my memories of him were just getting further and further away…
I’ve wanted to ask her why. Bowden is similar to Greensville in many ways. There’s nothing to do here. But I knew Mom wanted this move, because she had no reason to. Mom had a secure job as a fifth-grade teacher back in Greensville, and she moved here for the same job. Why did she want to move so suddenly?  
“It was good.” I lie as I shift from my spot on the couch to turn and face her. Our living room is filled with boxes. But at least we had the TV set up. I don’t want to talk about school. If Mom knew the truth, she’d feel bad. Because the truth is that I had wandered around lunch the whole time trying to find a spot where I could sit by myself without feeling like a loser. I thought it’d be easy to make friends, but everyone kept to themselves and my stomach curled at the thought of approaching groups.
“I’m glad.” Mom smiles, the corner of her eyes wrinkling. I know Mom’s worried about me. She’s been worried since she announced the move. I should’ve been angry for the sudden move, instead I couldn’t stop smiling. Maybe Mom thought I was leaving behind a gang or something. “I was thinking… Let’s go out for dinner today.”
We only just started to unpack yesterday. Our house is part box, part living-space. My room looks like I’m moving out for college or something. I head to my room after giving Mom the remote. Talking just seems… exhausting. I could start unpacking, but any strenuous movement sounds gross, so instead I upload Crunchyroll on my phone and start One Piece. There’s, like, nine hundred episodes. I’m only a hundred in. I figured in about three to five years, I’ll catch up.
That leads me to watch My Hero Academia. I only watch two episodes, but three hours pass. I have this routine to scour the internet after every show, searching for opinions. It’s very cathartic to see that other people thought Bakugou is a brat that needs some justice shoved into his face. Man, just thinking about him irritates my skin. At least, Midoriya, that little flower child, can cheer me up.
“Paige, it’s time for dinner!” Mom’s voice shakes me out of the latest reddit forum. There’s a ping on my phone. As I walk forward, I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face. About a year ago, I started posting my fanart on Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter. It’s not successful or anything but I get a hundred likes a photo. Each like just makes my heart want to burst. Though I try to have a variety, most of it is just Leaf’s Epic Adventure. That anime has hit me in the feels, and its hit me hard.
I shove my phone in my back pocket and head out the door.
~~~
You can subscribe to my newsletter HERE to be informed when this book will be released! (Coming November 20, 2020). You can also read the summary HERE. 
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well, if my first ADHD-related appointment with a therapist was kind of validating in confirming that I have this thing I think I have and yes it’s a problem, today’s appointment with a nurse practitioner who can actually prescribe stuff was...kind of invalidating? not even materially so, I mean she said I meet the criteria for ADHD and she wrote me a prescription for Adderall with instructions to start at a very low dose and gradually increase to see what happens, and she scheduled another appointment with me in a few weeks to check back, and it basically all seemed fine at the time, but--
well, she also said it didn’t sound like a severe case, and that at least some of what I was describing was just kind of what modern life is like for everybody, and when I said I figured my ADHD is at the root of a lot of my anxiety and depression she was pretty quick to tell me that’s not how it works until I explained the--in hindsight pretty fucking obvious--connection that a lot of my depression stems from feeling like a failure in ways that are probably caused by ADHD, and a lot of my anxiety stems from how I’m constantly forgetting things and sometimes I can’t hold onto a thought long enough to write it down and I get overwhelmed easily because I can’t prioritize, etc. etc. etc.
and like, again, I don’t think it really...matters? she’s not the one I’ll really be talking with, for the most part, and they’re in the same office so if my actual therapist is picking up on things that the nurse practitioner isn’t, they can, should, and probably will discuss my case between themselves. all I really need from the woman I saw today is the willingness to write prescriptions and work with me to find the right dose/medication and I have that, I literally have an Adderall prescription now and she perfectly willing to do medication management with me. so that’s all good. 
but basically as soon as I left the building, my brain started chewing on it and wouldn’t let go, because shit, I didn’t really emphasize my procrastination and perfectionism enough, did I? especially with examples from college and grad school? I mean I talked about it but did I talk enough about how my brain just kind of divides things into “now” and “not now” and if something either can’t be done now or isn’t due now, I can’t feel the urgency needed to make me actually do it? or the self-loathing spiral I get into every time I fuck up? or how I do fuck up, all the time, except now I can’t think of concrete examples? I said I had a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep and I never feel rested but did I say that it’s at least sometimes because my brain won’t shut off? or how something relatively minor but negative will happen and my brain sinks its teeth in and won’t let go? or how slow I am at work? did I emphasize enough how much I need to externalize my brain or I completely forget things, I mean I know I talked about it but apparently it sounded somewhat normal? I should’ve told her how often I get hit with interest charges and late fees on my credit cards because I can’t remember to pay them, or...how I got this character in a game and I had two entire months to level her up but doing so involved active playing so I kept putting it off and when time was running out I really sincerely meant to do it and then I just kept forgetting, and obviously that wasn’t a genuinely important thing but maybe it still would’ve been a good illustration? or how my room is a disaster and part of that is because of the earthquake way back in Nov. 2018? or how I keep buying posters and prints but never putting them on my walls, and starting projects I never finish even when they’re relatively quick and easy? (wait, I did talk about that though, didn’t I?) or how I have to write everything down in my planner but there are times when I still somehow forget to look at it, or how I write tons of to-do lists but never cross off most of the things on them and after a little while I forget the to-do list exists in the first place unless it’s constantly in front of my face? or how sometimes extremely basic shit just straight-up doesn’t occur to me until it’s too late? or how I think I don’t regulate my emotions very well? or how miserable it makes me that I feel like I never finish anything or accomplish even very basic goals? or how I am almost never on time, ever, in part because my sense of time is just kind of terrible? or my executive dysfunction, fuck, that’s definitely a thing and I never used those words either, I mean I talked about how I can’t get myself to fucking start things but maybe if I’d used the term...? and fuck, maybe she’s right and my brain is actually not that fucked up, it’s actually way closer to normal than I’ve been thinking, which I guess just means I’m a lazy piece of shit who can’t accomplish anything...but she said I meet the criteria for ADHD, and I keep reading all these articles and posts about it and going “oh shit that explains so much about my brain,” and obviously I’ve had like two decades to figure out some coping strategies so my various dysfunctions don’t completely ruin my life all the time, and sure I haven’t been fired because of things I can confidently blame on ADHD but that doesn’t mean it isn’t negatively affecting my life, and it’s not like she actually said “nah you’re making this up, fuck off” or anything, she said I meet the criteria and she wrote me a fucking prescription for Adderall, but if she thinks it’s a relatively minor case and a lot of the things I struggle with sound normal to her, then maybe I’m making a big deal out of nothing and I need to just suck it up and be better somehow, and maybe medication isn’t even going to help because there’s nothing that wrong in the first place except for me being a fuckup—
and around and around it goes. it’s...I mean, again, it’s probably not really a huge deal. I have another appointment with her for medication management, and I have the prescription, and I have more appointments with the therapist who did seem to take it more seriously. and this one did say I meet the criteria. but honestly the way my brain has been chewing on this for the last few hours is...well, probably indicative of something.
oh, you know what else was funny actually, she also informed me that if I was prescribed Adderall in grad school then I had to have been formally diagnosed, because otherwise it absolutely couldn’t have been prescribed to me. and I guess when the original dose didn’t seem to do much for me I just...stopped taking it and didn’t go back for more, and we didn’t really revisit the issue, and the records probably didn’t get transferred to my next counselor because I guess it never occurred to anybody to ask, and she eventually thought maybe I’m on the autism spectrum because I said I don’t like eye contact but ADHD didn’t occur to her either, and I just. fucking forgot? that I was formally diagnosed with ADHD probably an entire decade ago? so over the past 2-3 years as I’ve become increasingly convinced that ADHD hellbrain causes a lot of my problems, I was coming to it as brand new information because I literally fucking forgot that I had already been diagnosed? like...fuck, man, I’m no expert but that seems like kind of a weird memory thing too! which she definitely knew about because I was surprised when she told me I had to have been diagnosed! so I mean! if we’re talking about a disorder that involves memory issues, forgetting about an entire diagnosis because it wasn’t right in front of my face seems like pretty fucking good evidence that I have memory issues!
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Snow Day Spent Shoveling Away. Part 2
Rating: T (some swears, kissing scenes, mostly just fluff)
Pairing: Kristoff/Anna
Summary: Modern AU; Anna calls Kristoff in desperation, as she needs to shovel her apartment complex's front and back steps, along with the sidewalks in the front of the building. It was a promise she made to her sister that the landlord needed help with the incoming storm, but she went away for the weekend for her job. Her being the procrastinator she is, its the last day she has to do it and the snow is piled up. Will they be able to do it in time?
Notes: If you saw my tumblr post (a while back-sorry about that) when I shoveled the snow on the first snow day in my state, it read that I had a fanfiction idea brewing in my head the whole time I was shoveling. This is my first real time that I'm writing Kristanna fanfiction, I've written little stuff in the past, but it never made it past my notebooks/laptop. So this is the real first published piece. I hope you enjoy! (also i really tried with the title, idk if I like it still but there you go lol.)
~~~
They went around to the back where the stairs were, there was one set, but 4 flights high.
“Well that’s a task…” Kristoff muttered. “We better start at the top, so it’ll be easier.” Anna nodded and started to head up, it wasn’t that thick of snow since people have already walked up and down it.
They made it to the top and remarked at how they’re gonna get the snow off.
“...We can just chuck it over the side. It’s after work hours so I doubt anyone will go over there and we’ll hit anyone.” Kristoff shrugged and agreed, he didn’t have anything better than that.
And so they started again and got down 2 flights, exhausted again, but believe it or not, the stairs were easier, they just shoved it off the stairs and didn’t have to worry about where it would go. Kristoff stepped down and could feel that there was ice on the step.
“Careful, there’s ice starting to form.” He continued down and as Anna was behind him, he kept an eye on her in case she slipped.
Which she did, she was cautious when stepping down, but nature took its course and so did her clumsy self, she slipped forward and Kristoff reach out his hand and caught her arm, her other arm, which was in a fist holding the shovel, swung around and got his upper back, he didn’t get hurt by it but he definitely felt it.
“I’m sorry! Ugh I’m so clumsy…” Anna said, really saying sorry to the punch in his back.
“It’s okay, I barely felt it, and you’re okay.” Kristoff looked at Anna, who was really close to his face, and they both smiled, Anna’s was more out of embarrassment, and he could actually tell she was blushing, it wasn’t just the cold.
“Here, how about you get the platform down there, I’ll help you down.” and by that, Kristoff just picked her up by the waist and rotated her so she was below him, making her avoid the ice.
“Heh, thanks.” she smiled up at him, then turned and saw the snow. He turned too and started again.
They got another 2 flights done, and were on the last steps and the ground. Kristoff let Anna take the last 4 steps, and didn’t want to feel useless, so he made the area look nice, seeming how they chucked a lot of snow over there. 
Kristoff was facing back to Anna, when he heard her say, “Kristoff!!” 
Concerned, he turned and looked up, but immediately met with a snowball to the face. It didn’t really hurt, it was just cold. 
Anna was laughing hysterically. “I didn’t mean to get your face, but that was so funny!” Anna said through gasps for air.
Kristoff put on a devilish grin and bent down to grab a ball. Anna was still laughing, but once he turned and was perfecting the ball, she realized what he was doing and protected her face. Like he was really going to hit her face anyway. He threw it and got her side,she screeched, and then went over to another pile and grabbed a handful.
“You are so dead!” she yelled and threw another ball at him.
It was a war between them. They wouldn’t have time to create a snowball so there were just snow chunks flying around. Soon, Kristoff got close to Anna and took a chunk and shoved it down the back of her coat.
“AHHGHG!!! It’s so cold!!!” she shrieked. She had a chunk in her hand and since he was behind her, she just turned and smashed it into his chest. Kristoff was laughing so hard while Anna attacked him, just swatting at him. They were entangled in each other and they soon fell into the pile of snow next to them. They didn’t care that it was cold seeming how they were pelting snow at each other for a while. They were laughing so much that tears came out their eyes. They started to die down and they just stared at each other. There was a piece of hair draping over her nose and Kristoff pushed it behind her ear. He held his hand there and just admired her beauty.
She stared at him, admiring his features. Her hand was on his chest, and she slowly slid it up to the nape of his neck.
They both knew what they wanted. But it was scary for both of them.
But Kristoff couldn’t bear it anymore. She was so beautiful.
‘Fuck it, now or never right?’ He pulled her forward and met her lips. It was electrifying, they’ve both kissed people in their past, but none of them compared to this one. It lingered for a while, until Anna pushed him away with a resounding “Wait, wait, wait…”
Kristoff was confused and said “What? Why?”
Anna looked down, “I’m sorry, but...don’t you have a girlfriend?”
‘Oh. Right. That.’ Kristoff thought. “Oh, yeah um.. That’s over. I broke up with her about..3 weeks ago.” He turned away trying to remember when they break-up date was, and he looked back at her with a smile and he caressed her face.
“Oh! I’m sorry I didn’t know.”
“No, no, it’s okay, we weren’t meant to be,” Kristoff played with her hair. “I liked someone better anyway.”
Anna looked deep into his eyes and smiled. He tilted down and kissed her again.
“Mm,” She mumbled and broke the kiss, “We should get out of the snow.” Anna laughed.
“Good idea.” He started to get up, and once he did, he reached out to help her up, she took his hand and leaped up.
“Uh, I just gotta finish the stairs.” Anna turned and grabbed the shovel.
“Okay…” He smiled as he felt his heart warm up, as he finally got what he wanted.
He watched as she scraped off the last chunk of snow off the stairs.
“Okay, all done.” She beamed and put the shovel against the railing of the stairs. “Thank you so much again for doing this.” Anna came up close to him.
“Oh, it was no problem, especially if I get to do this now.” She was already expecting another kiss and he gladly took up the offer. He cupped her face and it only helped deepen the kiss.
They separated and Anna let out a little hum, buzzing with satisfaction. They opened their eyes and both smiled brightly. Then Anna looked down and giggled and backed away, leading towards the stairs.
“So, you wanna take up on that hot chocolate?” Anna asked, and it was really hard to say no to it.
“Hell yeah.” Kristoff laughed and followed her up the stairs to her apartment.
~~~
Kristoff took off the clothes that were wet from the snow, and Anna had a change on clothes that fit him, surprisingly. “It was from my aunt, and she’s, well… big to say the least.” Anna defended her reason. Kristoff was just a little glad with wasn’t like, old lady style clothes. 
He was finally starting to warm up and dry off, and when he came out of the bathroom, Anna had changed too and finished making the hot chocolate. Kristoff could really start to feel the soreness in his shoulder and lower back kicking in. 
“It’s done,” Anna noticed that he was rubbing his right shoulder, “Come on, I’m good at massages, I’ll rub your shoulder.” Anna walked into the living room and set the mugs down. “Why don’t you sit on the floor so I can really get it.” Kristoff followed her words and sat on the floor in front of where Anna was sitting on the couch. Kristoff grabbed one of the mugs and took a sip, and did a moan of satisfaction as it was really good. Then Anna started working on his shoulder and he was already feeling less pain from her tender loving fingers and let out a groan because of it.
“Wow, you really worked up a knot here, it’s so tense and tight.” Anna didn’t want to hurt him but she felt like she needed to really put her whole weight into it. But he didn’t seem to mind. She kept at it for a while.
But her thoughts were barely able to contain inside her head. “So.. I don’t mean to pry...but you did kinda drop the bomb that you’re not with your ex-girlfriend anymore...but, well, what happened? If you want to tell, you don’t have to.” Anna rushed through.
Kristoff chuckled. “Like I said, it wasn’t meant to be. Of course, I thought she was attractive and smart, and that got me interested. But over time, as we were together, it just became a little boring. So, I had to end it, before it was too late.” Kristoff explained. Anna was still working his shoulder, but not as intense, as she was listening to him.
“And...what about...me? You said earlier that you 'Liked someone better anyway'. So does that...I mean...h-how long have you..?” Anna couldn’t finish, she cleared her throat, but Kristoff knew what she meant.
“Heh, well, it’s gonna sound cliche, but...I kinda knew ever since I first talked to you. Maybe not as strong as it is now, but there was something there.”
She was almost completely stopped massaging. “...How strong is it now?” She quietly said.
Kristoff smiled and started to get up and sat next to her on the couch. “I don’t want to scare you away, because of this all, just being so new. But Anna, they are very, very strong.” Anna blushed and looked at her lap. “You are really extraordinary, loveable, and just a fun person to be around ‘cause you bring a light to my life I’d never known that I needed.” Kristoff took Anna’s hands in his.
“Kristoff…” She was mega blushing, so flattered by his words, almost putting tears in her eyes.
Kristoff adjusted his shoulder, it wasn’t hurting as much, “And you must have magic healing hands or something, because I’m in much less pain.” He looked at Anna, she still was flushed. “I hope that wasn’t too much on you, I just, think you should know how much you mean to me.”
“No,” Anna nearly whispered. “It was just enough. You’re just enough.” Anna caressed his hands with her fingers. Then let go of them and grabbed his face and kissed him. He leaned into it and grabbed her waist. They were already so comfortable with each other, I mean they knew each other for years, but this just felt natural. Kristoff kept leaning Anna back until she was up against the edge of the couch. They barely broke for breath, they just wanted to be connected like this forever. 
When Kristoff decided that he needed air, he breathed and then went for her neck, and just planted kisses on each of her freckles, and she has them everywhere. She giggled and bit her lip and ran her hands through his hair. “I’m so glad this is how the night ended.”
Kristoff looked up at her, “Who said the night is over?” And he went back in for another intense kiss, she smiled against his lips. Kristoff went away from her lips again and just started planting kisses on her cheeks and nose, and everywhere he could.
Anna looked over to her right and saw the mugs of choco, and couldn’t help but say, “Mm, our choco is getting cold.” Anna closed her eyes as Kristoff went to a sweet spot on her neck. 
“Hmm, but you’re just so sweet and warm just like it. I don’t wanna stop drinking you.” Kristoff retraced his kisses, Anna couldn’t help but be so, happy. Same with Kristoff, I mean, he didn’t even get to ask her how long she’s liked him too, because it definitely wasn’t tonight that she started liking him. So he knew that they both had been wanting this for a while. 
They kiss and held each other for a while, until they were too tired from the shoveling to keep up, so they ended up cuddling together on the couch and sleeping for the whole night.
~~~
Elsa came home early in the morning, and saw that Anna, and little did she know Kristoff, had shoveled just like she asked. She was expecting for Anna to be asleep, but not in the living room..with Kristoff next to her.
She exhaled and then smiled. ‘Fucking finally…’ And then went to her room and acted like she was never here.
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yeoldotcom · 5 years
Text
park chanyeol; drink water
pairing; chanyeol x reader
word count; 1.4k (small fic)
genre; fluff, best friends to lovers au
summary; chanyeol gets mad because you don’t drink enough water.
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a/n; this is me procrastinating on writing something that I was supposed to finish a long time ago lol (also because i haven’t posted something new in like,,, weeks.) enjoy! also omg my husband looks good in this gif but when does he not
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“When was the last time you drank water? You look dead.”
You rolled your eyes at the boy hovering above you, “Why is water always your answer, Chanyeol?”
He shrugged as he sat on the space available next to you. The way you were sprawled on the couch didn’t give him much room but he managed nonetheless, “It’s a hot day. I’m just worried your water intake.” He looked down at his phone with furrowed brows, “By this time of day, you should’ve had three cups.”
You shoved him with your foot, “Shut up, nerd. I’ve had something to drink today.”
Recovering from your push, he looked down at you, “Was it water though?”
You slowly sat up, looking away from Chanyeol, “Well, no—“ He made a noise as if he was about to start on his many rants about why water was so amazing and good for you but you continued, “—But isn’t every drink basically water?”
When you looked back at him, he was staring at you with such an intensity, it made you truly feel like you were dumb.
“No. Drinks are all liquid. Not all liquid is water based,” Was his response. And then, before you could tease him again for being a nerd, he started on his ‘Water Rant’: “Water is literally what we need to survive. The last time you drank water was last week, when I forced you to drink it. I haven’t seen you drink water since! And water is literally what you need to live! You need water to regulate your temperature and maintain your body. If you don’t drink water, you’ll become dehydrated and your body will stop working and then you’ll eventually die. Do you want to die? Do you hate me that much?”
You let out a huff, “No, Chanyeol, I don’t hate you—“
“Then why don’t you drink water?!” His eyes bore into yours as he looked for the answer.
You shrugged, a small smile slipping its way onto your face, “It doesn’t taste good.”
Chanyeol let out a loud groan, “Water doesn’t have a specific taste! If you want it to taste good, just add fruit!”
Rolling your eyes, you slumped back down into your seat, “Whatever. Just accept the fact that you’re the healthy friend and I am not. Can you pass the remote?”
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A week had passed and Chanyeol had not brought up water at all. The topic of drinking water, how healthy it was for you, or even water in general. Nothing. It kind of scared you. He would usually bring it up at least twice a week. But so far? Nothing.
He still drank it though. A lot of it, and that was only from what you saw. 
He even showed you his water bottle trick. The one where he takes a water bottle and drinks all of it in one fast gulp? Yeah, he showed you that one, but afterwards when you thought he would take an opportunity to tell you to drink water, he didn’t.
After showing you how fast he could drink water, he didn’t use that moment to tell you to drink water. It baffled you and you had no idea what was up with him.
Although you were worried, you still didn’t drink water. You maybe had a few cups throughout the week but it definitely wasn’t as much as you should’ve had. But you were still alive so you continued to be unhealthy.
Well, that was until Chanyeol had enough.
You both were watching a show on TV before Chanyeol let out a loud groan and turned it off. 
“Hey! I was watching that,” you pouted.
“I was too. But I just can’t do this anymore.”
You looked over at your friend in confusion, “Can’t do what anymore?”
“I can’t just sit here and watch you throw your health away.” It was quiet in your apartment before you started to laugh. You knew the day would come. He couldn’t stop talking about water forever. You even guessed that when he talked about it again, he would explode. This was probably the explosion.
“Chanyeol, I’m not throwing away my health. I just don’t need to drink water as much as you—”
He interrupted you with a serious look, “But you need to drink it. Y/N, I haven’t seen you drink water all week!”
You slumped down in your seat. “I did drink water this week, you just weren’t there to see it,” you said, adding the last part in a softer voice.
Chanyeol sighed and put his head in his hands, “Why are you doing this to me? Do you really hate me this much?”
You gave your friend a deadpan look, “No, I don’t hate you. Why do you always think that?” His head was still in his hands as he mumbled his answer. He really looked distressed because of your unhealthy habits! “Chanyeol, I can’t hear you.”
He spoke a bit louder this time, although some of his voice was still muffled, “I said, you don’t care about your health so you don’t care about me.”
You reached for the remote and turned the TV back on, softly chuckling at his statement, “That doesn’t make any sense.”
He looked up at you this time, taking the remote back and turning the TV off again, “It does make sense! You’re neglecting your health which means what if you die? If you die then I won’t have a best friend anymore! So stop neglecting your health!”
You both stared at each other for a moment before you burst into laughter. Confusion washed over Chanyeol’s face as he watched you laugh, “Yeol, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say!”
His expression smoothed out into annoyance, “Hey, shut up. I’m being serious.” But you didn’t stop laughing after he said that and his expression didn’t waver. In fact, you started to laugh a bit harder and Chanyeol became even more annoyed.
“Y/N, I’m serious. Stop laughing!”
You kept going while poor Yeol sat there with the most serious expression he could muster. You even started to slap your knee! That was when he really exploded though.
“Y/N! Stop! I’m being serious! I really care about you and the fact that you’re taking this as a joke is really hurting me!”
You looked up at him with a bright smile as you tried to stop laughing, “I’ll be okay, Yeol. Don’t worry about me.”
“I can’t not worry about you,” he said, rolling his eyes as if it was the most obvious thing ever.
“Why not? You did a great job this week,” you chuckled.
“Yeah but that was really hard for me! It’s not easy acting like you don’t care about the person you like.”
Your smile slowly faded as you thought about his words. The person he likes? What kind of like? Does he mean like like? 
You shook those thoughts away, he most likely meant it as a friend. 
Right?
Yeah, of course he did. What else would he mean?
As you placed another smile on your face and prepared to brush off his comment, he spoke up:
“I like you, Y/N. A lot. And I don’t mean as friends.” He took a deep breath as the smile on your face faded once again into a surprised expression, “Y/N. I have a crush on you and it really hurts me to see you neglect yourself. So please, even if you don’t like me back, please drink more water.”
Only Chanyeol could turn a confession into a lecture. You rolled your eyes for probably the fiftieth time today, “Just when my heart was starting to flutter, you ruined it.”
Now it was Chanyeol’s turn to be surprised, “Wha- what? Flutter? Because of me?”
But you didn’t answer him, “I’ll drink water, okay? So don’t get mad at me anymore.” And then you leaned into him and turned the TV back on as confused Chanyeol sat there, stunned into silence.
After a few moments passed, his confusion was still very prominent, so he asked the questions that you thought had very obvious answers. 
“So, we’re dating right now? You like me back, right? You’re not just doing this to make me not be upset?”
You laughed, “Yes, I like you back, Park Chanyeol.”
“So we’re dating?”
“If you want,”
“So that means you’ll start drinking more water?” You hit his side as he laughed, “I’m serious! I care about your health!”
“Whatever, I’ll drink as much water as you want.” You smiled up at him as his smile widened.
“Good! Get up! Let’s go drink some water!”
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damgirlsocial · 4 years
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Come fly with me ...
My journey back to work has been a bit up and down, like all ‘journeys’ (how much do we all love that metaphor but hey it’s the one we all use) but mine started over 10 years ago when me and my amazing husband desperately wanted to start a family.  Now this might not seem like the forum for talking about procreation and starting my business (although I can see some kind of analogy here), but you know what having been to a talk where the amazing Debbiedoodah presented her thoughts on being true to yourself (which resonated with me) I decided that this is my path, my reasoning and I’m not going to make something up that I think people want to hear.  I’m going to be true to myself, my brand and where it takes me who knows but I’m unashamed of my reasoning.  It’s actually one of the reasons behind my brand name ‘DAM Girl Social’.  There are other reasons to do with some amazing women I’ve met along the way, but I’ll come to that in a bit.  
 So, let’s start somewhere way back when, when I was a little less grey, had a bit more energy (think late night karaoke and oodles of shots) and a full-time job as a Marketing Manager.  As I mentioned I had hit a time of life where a family was increasingly more important however, that wasn’t meant to be as straight forward as I’d anticipated and so found myself in a situation whereby, I was all consumed by having a baby.  Now this is another story altogether but it’s fair to say that my 3 year struggle emotionally and physically meant that when I was lucky enough to have a baby I was in no rush to rush back to the workplace and we took the decision that I would take time out and concentrate on being a mum to our two amazing boys.  Okay, so I had a tricky start (it has stayed with me believe me but I am fully aware of how lucky I am), and having two boisterous boys has its own challenges but by enlarge having that time off has been amazing, exhausting, thrilling, confidence debilitating, exciting and challenging all in one package of motherhood (did I mention life was a roller coaster?).  Once school life kicked in, I realised my boys needed me a wee bit less (well between 9 and 3.30 at least) and I needed something for me, to help build up my confidence again.  I have been extremely involved in helping the school over the last 3.5 years, bringing in funds of £55k+ through events I ran alongside my co-chair (now we would definitely make a good business partnership), and before that a short stint at Governance at another school my first son started at, but the time had come to do something for me and my family.
 What is it about having kids that knocks your confidence though?  This is a blog that needs addressing all on its own.  But it’s true though, we start off as strong, professional women have a kid or two or three or more and suddenly we don’t seem to know our worth.  
 Still with me?  Okay, so last year I decided to embark on my own ‘getting back to work self-motivation program’.  First stop was a 3 day ‘Back to Work’ course with Successful Mums where I got the chance to meet the motivated and inspirational Jane Knight who is all about helping women, especially mums, find their mojo and while they’re at it pop a crown on our heads and stand tall.  To be honest it’s not really my bag and for those who know me well will probably realise that I struggled with this particular concept but I have since taken it on board (you can even find a pic on my Insta) and I’m walking a bit taller with a straighter invisible crown these days.  As I’ve said before #thismumcan and is!  Anyway, by taking the course I identified a gap in my CV – Social Media Marketing! It was taking off as I took off 10 years ago, and so I missed the whole transformation of business with all things Social.  And for any advert looking for Marketing roles it was apparent you need to know this Social stuff.  
 This takes me neatly onto the ‘Techpixies’ Social Media Marketing course created by the amazing Joy Foster and delivered by the funny, fabulous Sophie and Jess, and the warm and lovely Theresa too (awesome business coach btw, can’t recommend her highly enough)!  With my fellow ‘Pixies we embarked on an 8 week course covering most things Social. I met a great bunch of women a couple of whom I’ve stayed in touch with and who have helped shape the name.  I’m hoping to have a collaboration with them soon and kick start a new FaceBook community but that’s still very much in the brewing stage.  
 Okay so I did the course and my confidence inflated a bit, not loads but a lot more than that first day we all introduced ourselves around the table.  I was able to apply some of my learning to my friend’s Insta and after a bit of research, some strategy, a presentation, and finally some brave pants posting, things started to move in the right direction.  Insta followers increased steadily and has now hit a 120% increase from when I first took it over, and the all-important new clients and collabs have emerged along the way too.  So, I knew I could do it, and my confidence inflated a little bit more. I dared to believe I could forge this new skillset into some work that I could fit around my boys.  Which after all is my reason for doing all this. Remember way back when in the beginning of this ever increasing blog, I mentioned the struggle to start a family, and how that that has stayed with me, well being there for my wee ones has been my priority throughout.  I’m after a work/life balance on my terms and freelancing in social media marketing is providing that opportunity.  
 Ha! This is all sounding very confident.  Don’t be fooled though, Imposter Syndrome is fully functioning and likes to kick my confident butt on a regular basis.  You know the ‘who do you think you are starting your own business, what do you know?’ type narrative.  But even in the face of this self-doubt I found a course that has helped, and I’m going to be frank, boot me royally up the backside and out of any indecision, procrastination, and totally out of my comfort zone. Its once again with the fabulous Successful Mums, this time on their ‘Business Start Up and Digital Skills Course’ and it’s fair to say I have learned LOADS!  I have also moaned loads.  Why?  Because I was disgruntled at the amount of work, I was having to do in my own time that I hadn’t banked on.  But then the realisation kicked in, you know some kind of epiphany that I wasn’t doing this for the course tutor, or Successful Mums, I was doing it for MY business.  Even this blog is because I’m being nudged to get it done.  For 5 weeks I’ve been thinking, yeah yeah I’ll write something, I’ll do a blog…, but look at me now I’m on a roll and you can’t stop the verbal bullshit!  (Don’t worry it’ll all be over soon 😉).  The point? Oh yes, so I’m being encouraged to keep at it; get the work done, do the business plan, the financial forecast, the GDPR policy, create my brand and marketing strategy in real terms. Not hearing how to do it and then going off and doing it down the line, actually starting my business as part of the course.  It’s made me take the leap.  Climb out of the warmth of the nest, teeter on the edge and then just f’ing fly, because ‘DAM GIRL’ you need to believe in yourself.  
 ‘DAM’ by the way, since you ask, stands for ‘Decidedly Average Mum’.  I, in no way, think I’m just average but in a social landscape of ‘mumpreneurs’ who frankly make us doubt ourselves (even when it’s not intentional), and 6 figure salaries we’re supposed to be aspiring too, or that we must be able to work, look stunning, get the kids to school yadayadayada means, I think, that there’s a gap for us more ‘average’ types.  I’m hoping that you see this as a refreshing take on this venture back to work.  I had a couple of babies, so what?  But I hit a low in confidence and I think it’s worth talking about, so having a brand that says: ‘I’m an average mum like you, just trying to get back to work and fit it around my family, it can be a bit hard, it can be a bit shit at times, but its feeling kind of good with each day my confidence builds, and if I can do it then you most definitely can too!’
 So, this might not be your average ‘starting your own’ business blog.  In fact, some might say (and be right) that its maybe altogether too honest but its who I am; I know, that by working with me you get a hardworking 110% kinda gal who will ALWAYS do her best by you.  Its who I am, and who I’ll always be.  
We can all be ‘DAM’ Good, so give me a shout I’d love to hear how I can help you xoxo
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tshifty · 5 years
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2019 New Year’s Resolutions
So this is just a personal thing for me, I want to post it to make it tangible. I made one of these a couple years ago but didn’t last year, and I want to just make one again.
Learn to put your own happiness and mental health first. Compassion is a good quality but not at the expense of yourself.
Stop comparing yourself to everyone. Not everything is meant to be a competition.
Step back from things that are draining your energy and time.
Try to trust people a little bit more... I know it’s scary and people are disappointing, but putting everything on yourself isn’t healthy.
Come out to the family. Be brave. I know you can do it... when your heart starts to pound at the idea, let it push you on instead of stopping you.
Stop imagining and start doing. Daydreams aren’t going to pop out of thin air... you have to work for them. And fantasizing things that will not happen only sours reality... don’t spoil it for yourself.
People are never going to see you how you see yourself. Everyone has their own idea of who you are. But at the end of the day, the loudest voice in your head should be your own.
Try to get back into reading!! And do more of the things you love... drawing, photography, writing... cut down on the amount of time you spend online and do one of those things instead.
Don’t be afraid to fail sometimes! I know failure scares you, but it’s a natural part of life. Sometimes failure is the only way to learn and to move forward.
Make some time to cook more! Life is stressful but not having a good meal for a week makes things worse. Pick a recipe, go to the store, and cook something you will enjoy. And branch out!
Listen to more varieties of music!! When everything else fails, music will still be there.
Find somewhere you can play piano more than every once and a while. Ask around for the music room code or something. You miss it and it feels like you haven’t been breathing properly without it. So fight for it.
Don’t lose your Chinese, you’ve worked too damn hard for that. I know it’s hard to keep it up when there’s nobody to speak it with... but work harder. You self taught yourself a year of Chinese in 2 months, you can do this too.
Do some personal research! Pick a narrow topic and delve as far into it as you can... and if you hit bedrock, start again on another topic! Who knows, maybe they’ll connect together.
Learn how to code for real. HTML/CSS is all good and fun but it isn’t a real coding language. Pick one and learn it. And while you’re at it, become fully fluent in HTML/CSS as well.
The world isn’t black and white, and there is always another side to the story. Some stories may seem pretty clear-cut, but never assume there isn’t grey area, because there always is some.
You have got to stop placing so much value on what other people think of you. Some people are never going to understand, some people are going to choose to not understand. Stop giving them any attention, they are never worth it.
When you’re stressed out and procrastinating, try not to do it online as much. Procrastinate through reading or drawing or photography, not tumblr.
Try to talk with friends more often! We’re all busy, but if you care enough about them you’ll reach out every once and a while... if they care enough too they’ll answer. If that can’t happen, then it’s time to move on.
The past is set in stone. It is not going to change. No matter what. Stop focusing on it. Playing back the past over and over in your head does nothing but waste the present and future. Don’t let the ghosts of your past weigh you down and drag you to drown. It’s time to float up to the surface and start to breathe again. Move forward. Drop the rocks that keep you rooted to the spot, they are not important. Only hold what you can carry, and stop looking back.
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reinasescape · 6 years
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Something Borrowed, Something Blue (Takao Maruyama)
Summary: You were happy together, or so you had thought. One day, out of the blue, Takao drops you off at home and tells you it’s over. Just like that, no explanation, no answers, it was just over. He avoided you like the plague: no phone calls, texts, or emails. Only radio silence. Not even the guys could get through to him. A person could only take so much though. Dumped by two fiances in less than 2 years had to be a record of some kind. Having sworn off men, you poured yourself into your craft.Another two years go by in the blink of an eye, and you find yourself back in Tokyo again. Back in your old stomping grounds, things have changed, and so have you. Will old flames rekindle even when they’re not meant to?
Part 5: Hopelessly Caught in You
For other parts: Fanfiction Masterpost
Adrenaline pumped as your feet hit the pavement. You tried to concentrate on the feel of the concrete under your feet, the burn in your muscles, and the wind in your face. You were out earlier than normal, but sleep had given up on you hours ago. This beat tossing and turning in your bed, wallowing in guilt. You had done nothing wrong. The two of you were both willing and grown adults. You were single, he was single, or so you told yourself. But you knew that in your mind, you were still tied to Takao. Regardless of his new engagement, he was…. No you couldn’t think like that. Refusing to even entertain the thought, you sped up, not even caring that you were hitting the pavement harder than your ankles appreciated.
AHHH why couldn’t you forget about last night?! The music blaring through your headphones couldn’t make the image of Tatsuki disappear. It was like the sight of him was etched permanently into your corneas.
Last night only the wind and crickets in the distance told you the world had not froze. Looking at him with eyes the size of saucers, your brain struggled to catch up. Did you hear him right?
When your mind finally thawed, words spewed forward without thought. "Go out with you? Are you insane?!" "It's not such a shock is it?” He faked a wince. “We already--" "Stop!" you interrupted with a hand. "There's no need for a post-mortem." "It happened. Not talking about it won't change that. Give it a try. What do you have to lose?" 'Everything.' But you couldn't confess that to him.
It didn’t help that his offer was so tempting, but you refused to show vulnerability. You weren’t the same person you were just a few weeks ago. You didn’t do one night stands and not with Takao’s little brother of all people! One of you had to be insane, perhaps both of you!
"I just want to forget about that night. It was a mistake,” you said sharply. "Ouch. It wasn't that bad was it?" 'Of course not.' But that was exactly why you had to forget about it. You couldn’t tell if the hurt was real or not. Since when did Tatsuki become so smooth? He was Takao's little brother for goodness' sake! You wanted to slap yourself awake.
Could you still look yourself in the mirror if things got complicated? Oh who were you kidding? Things were already complicated. They were irreversibly tangled from the moment you fell into bed together. And without the cloud of alcohol, the memories of that night were clearer.
The combustible passion when his lips met yours. The way the air had cracked and sizzled like live lightning when he touched you. Not even Takao inspired that all consuming blaze inside you, so how much worse could the fall out be this time around.
"I'm not looking for a relationship," you said flatly. "That's fine,” he refused to be deterred. "Really?" you raised an eyebrow. With a family unit like Takao’s, you would expect the boys to be looking for soulmates not flings. "No, but if I said that, you'd run as fast as your legs could carry you." That was your cue to start walking.
"Hey, hey, it was a joke,” he grabbed your hand, pulling you to a halt. "You're not very funny." "Tough audience,” he shrugged and laughed. Somewhere along the two years, Tatsuki had shed the boy who would blush and stammer. There was no denying the man he had become.
You ran faster, sweat dripping from your brow, as you tried to escape your inner demons. Why did he have to show up now? You only had a few more weeks until Takao’s wedding, and then you could finally put it all behind you. It was like the universe was conspiring against you. The tightness in your chest gripped and twisted your heart. He’d get married, and you’ll move on even if you had to rip out your own heart in the process. Did he ever really love you? If he did, why were you the only one suffering still?
The breath in your chest burned, but you continued on. It didn’t matter that you could barely see through the tears you refused to cry. If your whole body hurt, perhaps you could ignore the pain in your chest. Only when your lungs were about to give up on you, did you come to a halt, hands on your knees. Right on the path, regardless of who could see you, you sank into a crouch.
“Are you alright?!” a voice shouted in panic behind you. Through your turmoil, you could barely register it was male.
“Hey, do you want me to call an ambulance?” This time the voice came closer and the owner’s hand turned you around. Your vision went in and out of focus as you squinted at the person in front of you.
  “Takao?” It was the first name on your lips. “Is there something wrong with your heart?” It was only then that you realized one of your hands had fisted your t-shirt over your heart. “I’m fine.” You unclenched your hand, finally lifting your face only to find that your eyes were blurry with unshed tears. “But you’re crying.” The warmest brown eyes were filled with worry as they gazed at you. You took his proffered hand, letting him pull you to your feet. “It’s nothing.” You pulled your hand from his. It wasn’t Takao.
“You shouldn’t run like that if there’s something wrong with your heart.” Your rubbed the tears away with the back of your hand. “I said I’m fine. What are you doing here? Stalking me?” The harsh words left your lips. What was wrong with you? You were never this rude. 
Tatsuki looks absolutely at ease though. His hair barely damp with perspiration, his t-shirt molded to his shoulder and sculpted chest. You stopped there as you caught yourself staring. You must be exhausted. That would be the only excuse you allowed yourself for being so rude as to ogle him in plain daylight. It didn’t escape his notice though. He raised an eyebrow at you, as the corners of his lips lifted. He was so sure of yourself, you just wanted to slap the grin off his face.
“It’s a public park, but if you must know, I took an educated guess,” he shrugged.  “Huh?” you said like a half-wit, trying not to acknowledge you had been caught staring. “This is the same trail you and Takao used to run.”  “What?” Your mind was busy catching up while your eyes were wide as saucers. “I said-” “I know what you said.” You didn’t even notice. You had simply left the house not even thinking twice about it. Old habits die hard, and you couldn’t seem to escape yours.
---
“Here.” 
You caught the sports drink that arced through the air. The two of you sat on a bench, watching others run past you, not saying a word. The wind felt so good on your heated skin.
“Wanna talk about it?” In a corner of your mind, you noted the familiarity of his speech but said nothing. Why bother? It was undeniable that things were different between you and Tatsuki.
“No.” you shook your head. Silence fell again, and you were thankful he didn’t press. You couldn’t bare it if others knew exactly how much of a mess you were. Without the fragile illusion of strength, you wouldn’t be able to get up in the morning to face the world. The days were ticking down. You had to get it together. Otherwise it would be hopeless after Takao married to someone else.
“I haven’t given up yet.” He said, still looking out into the distance. Neither of you looked at each other, both choosing the trees that hide the busy city. A slice of quiet carved into the morning before millions rushed off to work and you back to reality.
You took another swig. Swallowing, for the first time since you got back to Tokyo, you blanked out the million thoughts in your head. “Yes.” “What?” He whipped around so quickly to face you, he knocked over his drink. Not that he noticed as the drink quickly soaked the ground. You could feel his gaze fixed on you. “I said ‘yes.’
Author’s Note: Sorry for the delay. I know I said I would post monthly, but I haven’t really had the motivation for writing. Many of the writers that here when I started have left tumblr, and others have stopped writing. It’s definitely quieter on my dash than it was before. I think most of my followers are more here for screenshots which makes it doubly easy to procrastinate. But here it is. I finally got my but in gear to finish the last part. Enough of my rambling. 
Which Maruyama Brother are you rooting for? Takao or Tatsuki now that he’s all grown up?
If you liked what you read & would like to support me: my [ko-fi]
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itsministerneecy · 4 years
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The Best Old Sayings|A Blast from the Past
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I started this post some time ago but was unable to complete it due to my schedule. While it was posted, it was not done. However, this week since I’m still on New Year’s break from school, and at home recovering from oral surgery, now seems to be a good time to conclude this piece.
For some reason, I woke up thinking about the post and the fact that I never finished it bothered me. Another thing, I am also thinking about my late mom who was a stickler for tying up loose ends. In fact, she would often mention how much she hated loose ends. She was a proponent of bringing closure or resolution to situations left hanging. So, today I have decided to finish this post, which is inspired by my late mom.
The post is about “old- sayings” of which my mom was a queen. And notice that I did not say “the queen of” because there is no one person in the world who can legitimately claim to have copyright power or ownership of decades-old “old sayings.” Some are culturally specific, even though people of all ethnicities have been known to reference an “old- saying” or two.
My mother seemed to have an applicable “old-saying” for almost every common life-situation that people find themselves in. Most people don’t even bother to examine the origin of old- sayings. Some may even believe they originate from simple-minded folk. However, that assumption is far from accurate. In fact, almost every “old- saying” is rooted in wisdom.
The “old- sayings” that warm my heart reverently are those manifested in the minds and mouths of people who had limited or no access to formal education. These people observed life so keenly that they were able to put many of its inevitable consequences in verbal turned penned sayings. The kicker is some well-educated people who miss the essence of the message because they prohibit their minds from engaging in presumed simplicity.
Apparently, people of the above-mentioned statute don’t know that having an ability to reach the masses requires an ability to deliver valuable information, training, or inspiration using translation methods conducive to people from all walks of life. If the average person must open a dictionary to understand dialog intended for common consumption and situations average people encounter, perhaps the messenger is not as well-educated as he thinks. But, enough about that!
Old- Sayings have a purpose, a valuable meaning; for some access to true clarity is prohibited due to lack of cultural, spiritual, or human awareness. The meaning of many old sayings remains a mystery to haughty individuals.
Sometimes my late mom's “old-sayings” came out so smooth and on point that it seemed like she had studied or memorized several them the night before. And then, there are some that left us scratching our heads, like when we would take too long to finish dinner.
Usually, the procrastination stemmed from the fact that we didn’t like something on the dinner plate. We’d be sitting there “fiddling around” in the plate with the fork when suddenly mom would blurt out, “yawl better hurry up and eat that food!”
One of us, or sometimes all three sisters would utter in concert, “I don’t like whatever it was that was still on the plate.” Mom’s mind-boggling at the time “old-saying” to us was, “I bet you’ll eat it before it eats you?” Okay, then she had us wondering, “how can food eat people?”
It would be years before the three of us sisters figured out what this “old saying” meant. You’re probably thinking why didn’t you just ask your mom what she meant? Well, we didn’t because we couldn’t. Mom’s facial expression always signaled whether it was wise to respond via question.
Long story short! This “old-saying” simply meant that nobody was leaving the table until their plate was empty! Oh, mom didn’t believe in wasting food either, so we knew not to go near the trash can with food left on our plate.
Now, many “old sayings” are ethnically inspired according to where, how and who raised you. That said, I just remembered that my grandmother was no slouch in the “old sayings” field either. She could whip one out in a hot second too. Without any further ado, below you will find 25 of the most common “old sayings” of my time, which spans over six decades.
Timeless Old sayings
God don’t love ugly
Bite the bullet
That’s like going to hell wearing a gasoline suit
A blessing in disguise
Speak of the devil
Don’t count your eggs until your chicken’s hatch
Just because you want it doesn’t mean you’re going to get it, “people in hell want ice water but they can’t have it
Heard it through the grapevine
Work hard play harder
Kill two birds with one stone
Let your conscious be your guide
Don’t do anything that I wouldn’t do
The ditch you dig for somebody else may be your own
If you love something set free, if it loves you back it will return
Desperate acts call for desperate measures
Straight from the horse’s mouth
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
Through thick and thin
Old habits are hard to break
Even teeth and tongues fall out sometimes
A friend in need is a friend indeed
Shame on him the first-time shame on you if it happens to you again
The third time is a charm
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink
The devil made me do it
There can be no rainbow without some rain
Crazy as a bat
Running away like a bat out of hell
The icing on the cake
The last straw
It will make you or break you
Time is not on your side
Promises are made to be broken
Once in a blue moon
Don’t believe everything you hear
If it sounds too good to be true it is
Every time his elbow bends his mouth opens
If his mouth is moving, he’s lying
Beauty is only skin deep
You can’t judge a book by its cover
Study long you study wrong
Stay in the center of your expertise
Like beating a dead horse
Some people will argue with a stop sign
A dime a dozen
Every dog has his day
Don’t beat around the bush
Don’t bite off more than you can chew
Don’t let your mouth write a check your butt has to cash
Between a rock and a hard place
Sometimes you must cut corners to make ends meet
When you lay down with a dog you get up with fleas
Got a taste of your own medicine
Got my second wind
Hit the nail on the head
I bet you’ll eat it before it eats you
Inch by inch is a cinch but yard by yard is hard
Don’t burn bridges
Rome wasn’t built in a day
Like giving candy to a baby
Like a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest
He or she could sell somebody London Bridge
A piece of cake
Adding insult to injury
Okay, the thing is “I’m feeling kind of nostalgic today and missing my mother’s infinite wisdom.”
That said, I would really love to hear your most memorable” old-saying” if you have one still tattooed in your memory bank. Maybe it’s already in this post? If so, let me know.
What unforgettable “old-saying” do you remember your mom, dad or another using?
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8/9/19 12:34 AM the super update. aka get your shit together Endgame post 1/?
Well. Here I am. It’s hard to even approach this post, to be honest. I’ve been procrastinating for so long. So long that it’s actually the last real thing I have left on my to do list.
Check this out.
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I’ve been working hard at doing things lately. And catching up with you is basically the last thing left to do.
I finally spring cleaned all of my clothes and got rid of a ton of stuff that didn’t fit one way or another. 
I started playing guitar again.
I got my shit together with my job, got a bunch of online credits that I’d been procrastinating on. Started doing all the possible work I could every night to make my boss happy and it’s been making me a fuckton more money tbh. 
I’ve bought a bunch of cool shit, and been treating myself right with my food. I gained a bunch of weight back during the past year during my relationship with Andi. It’s not a terrible thing, I was treating myself. She convinced me that I deserved to treat myself and enjoy myself and that’s not a bad thing. But now I’m doing what I call Keto+, which is Keto+Beer lmfao.
I’m still going out drinking whenever I want, but for my meals I’ve stopped eating breads and rice and pasta, mostly just eating chipotle (just graduated to doing salads instead of bowls with light rice, though I wasn’t eating the rice just a bite here and there), sashimi from Hmart, lately once in a while a five guys lettuce wrap burger, back to doing salami and mozzarella at home. 
I’ve taken to fasting once a week on my thursday night shift (tonight), to try to accelerate the weight loss, but it’s not like my pov diets before because I’m still eating nuts.
It’s been a progression of increasing the amount I’ve been running (from one day to two days, to usually two maybe three days a week now, and the distance is a lot longer now), and cutting off more and more little cheats. E.g. the biggest was finally embracing sparkling waters instead of gatorade. I finally got to try Spindrift off a recommendation from a magic the gathering podcast, and it’s incredible. Only like 3 calories a can and it actually tastes good from the real juice and not bitter in the aftertaste. 
But anyway, I’ve got plenty of money now. My debts are paid, I’m ahead on bills, I’ve got all the sweet clothes I wanted, so I finally made the call last week.
It’s time to fix my car’s bumper. I’ll try to remember to get one last picture of lexi before I fix her broken front tooth.
Do you know what that means?
It’s the Endgame.
The Get Your Shit Together List I put together years ago... well let’s take a look at what’s left of it. The sad thing about digital to do lists is you don’t see the progression though. Wish I knew what was on there. I think a lot of it was losing weight, but I skipped the whole being healthy part before.
God damn, man.
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Doc last edited Oct 2, 2018. I guess I started writing this plan out Jan 2017. I think my biggest priorities then were to cut down spending and pay off my debts. 
I never started exfoliating lol. I wonder if I should do that for my nose.
I didn’t give ashleigh her plane credit part because fuckit. I did end up using mine though, to take that trip to Hawaii to visit John. Pretty fucking baller. I guess that was another big step towards getting my shit together, too.
Quit melee, but now I’ve been playing again playing jigglypuff just to hang out with my roommates. It’s really neat not grinding falco, even though I lose a lot the game’s a lot more fun again.
OH MY GOD THOSE BLUE STORAGE CUBES. When I fucking talked about spring cleaning clothes? THATS what I meant. I’ve literally had this shit on my to do list for two YEARS hahahahah. About goddamn time. Holy fuck.
Got my deviated septum fixed, didn’t cost nearly that much thank the lawd.
Just went to the dentist, my teeth are doing great. Ironically they mentioned that I need to consider replacing one of the fillings that I mention getting here eventually. 
I did finally get a new laptop and backup the old one, uploaded that info to throw it out about two weeks ago. 
Actually got sweet ass new shoes booya checkem
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I’m not vaping anymore, the whole juul pod fad never hit me. I’m doing cigarettes still, for better or for worse. Lol. I’ll take the cancer I know over the one I don’t.
But it’s better than I was when I was writing this list, I used to have to smoke one every single day after work. Maybe that was because I was hungry, but it was always this poignant craving on the back porch that I remember. Now I just like smoking when I drink mostly, but have the occasional one to chat with people or whatever.
Playing guitar again, not frequently, might start at work more since I’m playing the electric since I don’t have an acoustic available. Maybe I’ll even learn these songs. Playing guitar is great though, I kinda wanna be in a band sometime. That’d be fucking neat. Someone invited me to sing for his drunkenly at karaoke lol I should hit him up it’s been a minute. 
Got my nintendo switch, which I think was so far out of consideration that I deleted it from the fun stuff section. 
Who’d have thought I’d ACTUALLY start running and drinking water more. I guess I’m the greatest lmao.
Yeah man, like 15 pounds over the past 2 months. I think a lot of it was easy food weight, but it’s felt really rewarding all the same. Gotta keep it up, this 175 hurdle has been a tough nut to crack, but I’m gonna be really proud of myself once I get into the 160s territory again. I’m doing pullups slightly more, maybe I need to do the whole situps-pushups-pullups regimen right before/after running to really push it. Idk, i’m just glad i’m being good about it.
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I’m even flossing once a week now.
Things are really shaping up. 
But with money in my bank account there are three options that I have.
1. Save it by buying stocks
2. Blow it by buying a bunch of dumb shit
3. Finish off the to do list and actually get my bumper fixed.
I wanted to ignore 3 because it feels like a dumb expense for a minor aesthetic, but I guess in view of all these things I’ve accomplished it really does mean quite a bit more than that. So I made a claim on a ding on the side of my car and I’m gonna see if I can get it all fixed up. I’ve actually taken on a few extra days of work lately and made even MORE extra money, so I don’t think it should knock me back financially at all. Which means that it’s time. 
I’m finally doing it.
It feels really cool. I’m a little bit anxious about it in the sense that it’s gonna be annoying if they deny me getting the bumper fixed because of the collision damage that I never reported. But whatever we’ll cross that bridge in a few weeks when I get the damage inspected and see what happens.
This has been my brag post. Hope you were able to tolerate it all. But that’s only the first phase of catching up. It’s only been a half hour of writing! I’ve got a lot of time left at work tonight and I might even spend a lot of this weekend at Darlin’s catching up if I have to. Catching up with this blog is as big a part of getting my shit together as scheduling my appointment with the car insurance was.
So what I mean to say is we’re gonna catch all the way through my greensboro days up to now. I have some saucy tales and some not-so-saucy ones. I’ve got a full relationship to blab about, and honestly one thing that I had promised her and was on a bunch of my old to do lists was to do like a whole pro-con listing about her persona, which felt weird and I kept procrastinating on but god dammit I’m gonna get everything off my to do lists. 
So I looked back a little and it looks like the last posts I made were about sally, Becky,  whatever the hell my dealings with Taylor were, and the beginnings of Mary. Which means that we’re gonna flesh out Mary, and then you’ve got Sophie, Rachel, Olivia, Andi, Jennifer, Heather, and Jill to look forward to.  Whew baby.
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Your Heart’s Desire
a very late submission to tmntflashfic‘s valentine’s day prompt thing, since it got insanely long, and has to be broken up into parts.
Master Post of Chapters.
————————————————————————————- Chapter Four.
“So how many more siblings do I gotta watch out for?” Casey asked, tossing a rubber ball up into the air and catching it before it hit his face. Mikey was out for the evening, and Casey figured he’d take the moment to ask some important questions. Like just how many demons were going to be gunning for his life.
Maybe he was handling this better than he should be. Hm.
“Two at least, three if we’re really unlucky,” Raph said from his position a few feet away. They were lying on the floor, because Casey was stuck on an essay, and felt like procrastinating as long as he could.
“Shit. Big family?”
“I guess. It’s big by some standards, tiny by others. Depends on what dimensional plain we’re hanging around in.”
“Who’re the other two or three sibs you got? I just got the one, and she lives back in New York with my dad.”
“Two more brothers, one older sister. Plus her wife.”
“None of the rest of you married?”
“Nah. Most demons don’t do that shit. Karai’s just a huge sap underneath all the murderous intent.”
Casey turned his head, glancing towards Raph. This was more information he’d gotten on the demon’s family in one go, in comparison to the few weeks he’d been living with Casey.
“Can you tell me about them?” Casey asked. “I’ll tell you about mine.”
Raph blew out a gust of air, and rubbed his face. “I’m technically not supposed to, and Donnie would get pissed I bet, but sure. Why not. You seem less likely to use the info against us than most humans. Too stupid to do anything useful with it.”
“Wow. Fuck you.”
Raph laughed, the sound coming from his chest. “So basically, Karai was our sire’s first ‘kid’ so to speak, and then came the four of me and my brothers. There’s a couple eon’s difference in age, and Karai lords it over us all the time. Bitch.”
“Sire?”
“Equivalent of our dad. He’s basically this near god level demon, and has claim over a good number of dimensions.”
“Dude… sick.”
“He’s less cool than he sounds. He used to be a really active power, but the last couple centuries he’s really mellowed out. He spends most of the time possessing people so he can watch his soaps.”
“Still though…” Casey said, trying to imagine Raph’s dad. He probably was huge, way huger than Raph. Probably more horns too. And spikes. Shit he should totally draw that some time. “Why’d he chill out though? If I were a demon overlord, you couldn’t get me to do that even if you tried.”
“He’s old,” Raph explained plainly. “He’s been alive longer than any mortal being can comprehend, and he’s getting ready to step down.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yep. One of us’ll be next in line, unless someone tries to steal the spot like his brother did.”
“You and your sibs?”
“Yeah. It might be Karai, might be Leo. Donnie doesn’t want anything to do with it, and I’m with him on that. It’s a lot of work to police dimensions. Off chance it could be Mikey, but we’d probably see the collapse of a number of realties if that happened.”
“Yikes.”               
“Yeah. It’ll probably be Karai. She is the oldest.”
“How’s that work anyways?” Casey asked. “Like, are little demon babies are a thing?”
“Not really. Either you’re made into a demon artificially, or you’re sired as one. With sired demons, like me and my siblings, we start as semi-sentient blobs made from two or more essences, and get nurtured by whichever demon is the main ‘parent’. Mine was my dad.”
“Who was the mom then? Or did your dad have a fling with chaos or somethin’,” Casey half joked, thinking of Mikey.
Raph didn’t answer, suddenly going quiet. Casey turned to look at him again, and saw Raph staring at the ceiling with an unreadable expression. “Raph?”
“She. She, uh… she died, pretty much right after she brought us into existence,” Raph said, voice soft. “I only knew her for a little while, and then she was gone.”
“Dude, shit,” Casey said, suddenly feeling like a nosy asshole. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. I’m sorry for your loss.”
“No, it’s fine,” Raph said, sighing. “You asked and I answered.”
“I’m still sorry. What happened, if you don’t, uh, mind me asking about that too?”
“Well… she was human, for starters. My dad fell in love with her.”
That really got Casey’s attention. “Yooooo… demons can fall for humans?”
“Everyone can love, or so my dad says. Anyways,” Raph coughed awkwardly. “She wasn’t from this dimension, but it was close enough in design that it had humans still. My dad sort of just… met her one day, and knew she was the one. He was possessing a human at the time, and he literally bumped into her on accident.”
“Sounds kinda like a rom-com plot,” Casey commented. “But with demons.”
“Ha, yeah I guess. Point being, they fell in love, yada yada yada, and spent a few years being happy and stuff. She even knew my dad was a demon and thought it was fine.”
“She sounds like a cool lady,” Casey said honestly.
Raph grinned fondly. “Yeah. I only sort of remember her, since I wasn’t like, fully alive yet, but she was. She definitely was.” His grin slipped, and a hint of grief appeared in his eyes. “She gave her soul to my dad to save us all.”
“…how so?”
“My dad had a brother, another big time demonic influence. He wanted my dad’s turf, and he came for him when he realized my dad had created a chink in his defenses,” Raph sighed, long and heavy. “Tang Shen. She was the chink. She also ended up being the thing that defeated my dad’s brother.
“He’d poisoned us, me and my brothers. We were already starting to form inside mom, and he poisoned our essences. It was killing Tang Shen too, but it was mostly meant of us. Karai was already a fully-fledged demon, so my technical uncle went after my dad’s unborn spawn instead. Easier targets for eliminating potential successors or usurpers.
“It ended up being us or Tang Shen, and… she chose us. Told my dad to take her soul, and use its power to revive us and destroy his brother...”
“And then what?” Casey asked as Raph trailed off.
“And then he did,” Raph finished, still staring at the ceiling. “She died right after, since taking a human’s soul right away will kill them. I… I sort of miss her still. It’s been a really, really long time, but…”
Raph trailed off again, and a solemn quiet settled in the room.
Casey turned his eyes to the ceiling, feeling uncomfortable with how quickly things had gotten serious.
“That got heavy really fast,” Casey commented in a hushed voice.
“Yeah. Sorry.”
“ ‘s cool. My turn then.” Casey tossed his rubber ball again, and caught it as it fell. “I got my dad and my sister still, but I, uh, lost my mom too. She got pretty sick one year when I was still a kid, and just… never got better. It sucked really bad for a long time. My dad had it especially hard, since he had two kids to feed, a whole lot of bills to deal with, and not a lot of extra support. So I. Uh. I get it. Missin’ your mom even after a long time.”
“…hey Casey?”
“Yeah Raph?”
“Lemme try something.”
Casey felt more than saw the runes appear on his chest, and watched as it fizzled out again right after. He blinked, sitting up halfway to put a hand on the spot. “What was that for?”
“I was seeing if… if what you’d wanted was your mom to come back. I could do that. One soul for another. Um. It wasn’t though. I’m sorry.”
Casey blinked, and bit his lip.
That sounded too good to be true, and he wasn’t sure what he thought of his past self for not taking that chance. Even if he hadn’t known there was one.
“It’s fine,” Casey said quietly. “You gotta keep moving forwards an’ stuff no matter what. ‘s my motto. I’m not really surprised I didn’t ask for that.”
Casey missed his mom, and probably always would, but he wasn’t sure if he could do that to his family. To his mom. Bring her back and throw everything into chaos.
It was probably best he hadn’t made that his desire, even if the idea dragged back up old hurts. Of wanting to give anything to get her back.
Casey swallowed thickly, and rubbed his eyes.
Raph didn’t say anything, other than shifting onto his side, facing away from Casey. After a minute, Casey lay back down as well.
They lay there in silence, Casey listening to the kitchen clock ticking, and the slow breaths Raph was taking.
Oh god things had gotten awkward. Heavy and awkward. Why had Casey even asked that shit?
He’d wanted to know more about demons, not dead moms. Why did things always turn into dead moms?
Life imitates art or something like that.
“You wanna go play street hockey?” Casey asked, trying to get rid of the smothering feeling of grief.
“Yeah. Yeah I do. Don’t fuck up your knee this time.”
“No promises.”
Mikey didn’t come home that night, and Casey knew that for sure because he fell asleep on the couch with Raph, waiting up for the wayward demon.
Casey woke briefly, because some red light had been hovering over him, and it’d roused him.
“ ‘s goin’ on…” Casey slurred, mostly asleep still.
“Shh, it’s nothing,” Said a dark shape close by him. “Go back to sleep.”
“Raph…? What’re you doin’…”
“Just… just something. Don’t worry about it. Just go back to sleep already, I’ll see you in the morning.”
Maybe a few weeks ago, Casey would’ve woken up all the way and demanded to know what was happening. But now?
“Sure,” Casey mumbled, turning onto his side and pushing his face into the couch cushions. “Go t’ sleep yourself though. ‘s fuckin’ late…”
“I will. I promise.”
“ ‘kay…”
Casey trusted Raph enough not to do weird shit while he was asleep. He could rest and not have to worry about anything.
But Raph wasn’t there when he woke up, which set off a couple alarm bells in Casey’s head. It was weird, waking up to an apartment empty except for him. He’d gotten used to having another individual around twenty-four-seven.
Casey made himself a quick breakfast, and ate it quietly in his empty feeling kitchen.
The demon showed up around lunch, casual as anything as he waltzed in through the balcony doors, tucking his wings back into nonexistence as he did. Casey didn’t ask where Raph had been, and Raph didn’t supply any answers.
They had chicken strips (Casey’s) and raw beef (Raph’s) for dinner, and didn’t discuss anything from the day before.
 Casey was smoking on his balcony, because that was where you supposed to smoke dammnit, when he received yet another unwanted visitor.
Said unwanted visitor sped by his balcony, grabbing Casey as they went, and as Casey was swept up into the air yet again- he figured it might be time to quit smoking.
Thankfully, or maybe not so thankfully, the demon that’d grabbed him dropped Casey onto the roof of his apartment complex. Landing with sweeps of their huge- seriously huge- wings, the lithe demon loomed over Casey.
Casey scrambled to his feet, squaring up against the newcomer. Shit, was this a big one. Casey kept his hands steady anyways. “Okay motherfucker, I don’t know which one of Raph’s bros you are, but back the hell off! I’m not ‘enthralling’ him or whatever, so you can cool it with the trying to kill me thing!”
"̷O͡f ̵ço̶u͜rs͡e h̛e͟ pi̛c̵k͘ed͡ ̧a ̕m̀oųt͏h҉y o̵ne͢,"͜ The demon growled, flashing teeth as he stalked around Casey. The demon was a lot taller than Raph and Mikey had been, and leaner all around. He looked like he was built for pure speed, and reach too if the tail was as flexible as it seemed.
Casey was so busy examining the demon’s differences from his brothers, he missed the moment Raph’s unidentified brother attacked.
The demon was suddenly on top of Casey again, slamming him down against the concrete rooftop with a huge hand on his chest. The demon’s teeth were then right in front of Casey’s face, and he got a hot gust of demon breath blown right in his face.
Casey wheezed, feeling his ribs bruise and his lungs nearly collapse.
"͞Lęt̨'s j̵u͟st ̴gét ͘t͜his ov͞e̕r ̡w͡i̶th͝,"̢ The demon said in a put upon tone, opening his jaws wide and bearing down on Casey’s neck.
“DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE, DONNIE!”
The demon- Donnie apparently- snapped his jaws shut right in front of Casey’s nose, and leaned his long neck away. The tips of his long horns caught the daylight as he looked evenly at his furious brother. "̡Ŗa̵p̴h͝.̡ ̛Lòng͞ ̨ti̛m̢e no ́see.͢I ͢w͡as ̛ju̴s̶t̷ ͠ta͡k̷i̕n̷g c͞are ͝of ̕thin̨gs."
Casey turned his head, and woozily caught sight of a more familiar demon he knew.
Wow Raph did look pissed.
“I said-” Raph growled, snapping his wings out as he took a threatening step towards the larger demon. “-don̡'t y̛ou͠ f̴ưc̷k̴ing ͟d̛a̶r͝e.͏"
Donnie huffed, still not easing his hold on Casey’s steadily collapsing chest. "̡I'm not ̵ǵo̢ing̷ ̀t҉o͠ l̢e̡t y̢ou̴ ̀do͝ ̵t̀hi͟s̡ ̀to yours͟elf͜ ągain,̸ ͠Rap͘h. It'ş ̡for ̛y͡o͞ur͏ o͟w͞n̢ ǵo̶od͞.̢"
"́Y͟ou d͟o͟n't͡ ̀g̶et͏ ͘to make th͢at̸ dec͞i̴si͢o͘n̸ fo̴r͏ ͞me̶,̢"͘ Raph said in a hissing voice, steadily shifting closer and closer to full demon form. Scales covered his arms and crawled up his neck, same time as Raph’s eyes turned pure green. "́N͏o ̢o̸n͠e͞ ͘d̢oes.̨"
"Oh ͡pl̶ea̕s͘e͡,̡ h͡e'͜s͟ ͘n͏ơt̢ ͢w͠o̷rt͏h҉ i̵t̛.̶ ͝H̕e̵'͡ś b̴ar̨ély ̷wǫr͡th̕ ́ȩat́iņg̵.̡ A̧nd ̴b͡es͘ide͞s,͠ ͢it͠'s not ̸like̢ ͟you ҉a̶ĺready m-̧" Donnie broke off, as something flickered in the air too fast for Casey’s blackening vision to catch. Even with the reptilian features and steady loss of oxygen in his brain, Casey read dawning horror in the demon’s expression.
"Y̷ơu ͏d̡idn̶'͟t,͘"͘ Donnie said, not asked, in a quiet voice.
“Just get off him, Dee. You know the rules,” Raph said in a low tone, his own voice returned to normal reverberation.
It took another moment, but Donnie’s stupidly huge hand lifted off Casey’s aching ribs, and he sucked in a much needed gush of air.
Casey saw spots in his vision, and tilted sideways as he tried to stand up. Someone’s arm caught him though, and Casey found himself being supported by Raph.
“Why’re all your brothers-” He coughed. “-assholes,” Casey asked, throat raspy and feeling aches blooming all around his rib cage.
Donnie sneered at them both. "Ǹo͡ w̨o̵rd͢ fr̕om ̢y͏o̢ù ̸fo̢r͝ ̸o͠v̕èr a̷ ̢mo҉ntḩ, ̶a͡nd I̵ f͡i̵nd y̛ou ͢lik͏e҉ this͜.̧ A͠n͠d o̡nly͠ bèc̕au͏s͞e̛ M̧ike̢y͜ ̵c͝a̷me̕ a̛nd͟ tol͠d͜ ̨me̸ ̵w̛h͡a̴t͏ y͢o̵u̡'̡d bee͡n up͘ t͜o." ͠
“What I do in my spare time doesn’t concern you,” Raph said, stepping defensively in front of Casey.
"It d͝oés̢ ͏s̴o!" Donnie exclaimed, stomping one of his front limbs. "̡I'm̀ ̷ąl̵l͘o͞wed to be ̀çonc͢ern͢ed͠ w̷h͏e̷n͜ ̶my broth͡èr͜ v̀an̡ìs͠he̕s̶ ͡f̢ór͞ ́w͟ee͏ks̀ on̴ ̨e̷nd̨,͞ ̷aǹd̵ ̷t͞u̶ŕn̡s̢ o͠ut͘ t͝o͟ h̶a͘v̶e̴ beén h͠i͘ḑin͟g o̵u͝t wi͞t̨h̴ ͟a ́h̴uma̕n̸ ͘ţh͜ís ẃh́ol̕e ̢t҉im̨e!"̡
“He’s not hiding out,” Casey interjected. “He’s stuck here ‘cause I made a contract with him, and then forgot what for.”
Donnie shot him a look, luminous red eyes glaring harshly at Casey. "̛S͢h̸ut up. I͞ do̶n̶'̀t͠ want t͘o҉ he͟ar ̕ęxcu̵ses fróm̷ ͝s͜o͞m̧e̕ s͝t͏up̕i̷d ͜hu̡m̡an my̢ brother͞'s̷ ͜t͜a͡k͜en͘ to."
“Hey! You don’t get to talk to him like that, Donnie,” Raph said, jabbing a finger at his much taller brother. “I’m the only who does.”
"̨R̨a͢ph, quít͏ ̀i͠t w͠įth͘ th͡i̴s̵ ͟nonsenşe,͝ ͜and̷ jus͢t̀ ki̡l̶l̢ h͟i̛m ̕aĺre͠ady͞," Donnie said, lowering his head to be eye level with Raph. "̸T̶her͠e͠'̵s ́no̢ ͠pòi͘n̵t įn p̢ur͞s͡ui̵ng ͞t͡his̢. ̶Y̧ou ̷k̀n͢òw̡ ͡ḩow̕ ̴i̸t'̨l̢l͜ ́en̸d͟.͘ ͜L͟et'͘s͏ j͝u͢st ̧go̸ hơme án͜d ͜f̵o͏r͠ge͏t th̛is ȩve͜r̨ ha͘p̨p͡ene͘d͡."̶
“No.” Raph growled, not giving an inch.
Donnie flashed his teeth, and he rose back to his full height. His wings snapped out again, and his tail whipped around behind him. "̡I ͠g̀ųe̷s͜s̀ I͞'ll̢ hàv͠e̕ to ųse ̕forc̕e t͝h̸e͡n."̛
“Fucking br͡iņg ҉i͘t̶,"̧ Raph growled, starting to get bigger.
Casey was caught between ‘hell yes demon battle’ and ‘oh fuck demon battle’- when Donnie’s tail whipped across the roof the wrong way, and demolished the small garden in the corner.
Casey’s terror/excitement took a nosedive, and turned into pure horror.
The sound of clattering across the rooftop made everyone pause, and Casey turned slowly to look for the source.
April was standing in the open doorway from the rooftop entrance, her tools and watering can dropped on the ground beside her. She was staring at the disaster zone Donnie had made of her garden, clutching only her broom still.
Casey grabbed Raph’s shoulder, and started to tug him away from the danger zone. “Okay, we’re leaving now.”
“What? No, Casey I have to-”
“My garden,” April said, voice just loud enough to be heard across the roof. “You destroyed my garden.”
Donnie turned a condescending look on her, and scoffed. "͘Th͟i̸s͠ dóes̶n̕'͏t c̕o͞nc̛er̢n͞ ỳo͝u, m̸òr̸t̶al͟.͞ ̷Leáv̢e̸ w͠hi̕le ̴y͝ou st͡ill can."
“That was five months of work,” April said, pale and wide eyed. Her grip around her broom tightened to knuckle white. “Five months of work. Gone. I was writing my whole thesis on it.”
"I͘s s̡h̛è ̨d͟e͟af? ̛I told ͏her͏ ͠to l̀e̡a͠v̸e̛ ͝a̕lre̕a̵d̢y̵-"
“FIVE. MONTHS .OF WORK!” April suddenly shouted, causing everyone to jump, even Donnie. She’d lost the shocked expression on her face, and turned it into pure fury. “AND THIRTY PAGES OF THESIS! GONE. WORHTLESS.”
“Okay I see your point,” Raph whispered in an abruptly small voice, willingly backing away now. Casey nodded jerkily, and tugged Raph towards the edge of what was probably going to be the splash zone for blood.
April marched across the roof, broom swinging in her grip as she did, straight towards the visbily unsettled dragon-demon responsible for her garden’s violent death.
April glared up at Donnie, no hint of any fear from their height differences. “Shrink down. I know you can, because he can.” She pointed at Raph, who was trying to slip behind Casey. “So do it. Shrink down right. this. second.”
Donnie looked down at her, seeming confused by April’s commanding tone. "U̵h- ͡ex̶cu͟se me̢-?"
April swung her broom around in a vicious swing, and made contact with a harsh slap to Donnie’s side. He yelped, and tried to shy away, only for April to chase after him.
“SHRINK DOWN!”
"̨You'r̶e̡ i͝nsa̢n͜e͘!"
“DO IT!”
"N͝O̶!́"̴
“Do it or so HELP ME GOD-!”
Casey watched his neighbor and best friend chase the demon sizes bigger than her, using only a broom and her terrifying temper to cow him. Raph had fully hidden himself behind Casey at that point, and Casey did his best to shield his other friend from April’s wrath.
Eventually, after April managed to land several consecutive hits to Donnie’s head and horns, he poofed into smoke, and rematerialized as a long haired human with tall horns. “Okay! I did it! Leave off you insane woman-”
April whacked him across the shins with her broom, literally sweeping Donnie’s long legs out from under him.
“Now fix it, you over grown lizard!”
“Fix what?! OW!”
“MY GARDEN!!” April screamed, pure fury in her voice. Her red hair flared up around her head, exactly like fire in the wind. She looked more demonic than the lanky man on the ground, currently trying to protect his tall horns and long tail from her broom.
Donnie then yelled something Casey couldn’t quite understand, and he stumbled for a moment- vision skewing violently. Raph steadied from behind thankfully, a warm hand placed in the center of Casey’s back.
April seemed utterly unaffected, continuing her assault on Donnie. The two of them were back to throwing insults at one another, and Donnie actually seemed a bit scared now. April continued whacking him with her broom anyways.
Casey- shaking off whatever Donnie had just done to his hearing- managed a wince on behalf of the fallen demon. “I actually feel sorry for the dude.”
“Me too,” Raph said, now fully hidden behind Casey. Though, he apparently didn’t feel sorry enough for his brother to actually intervene.
“Ooooooh shit. Dee’s really getting it now.” A cheery voice said from behind them. Casey glanced over his shoulder, and saw a mostly human Mikey clinging to the roof railing. He waved to Casey.
“Mikey! You told Donnie where I was?” Raph hissed accusingly at his brother.
“Nuh uh! Just that you were okay and junk, and sorta maybe chillin’ with a human.”
“Mikey.”
“Hey, at least I didn’t say anythin’ to Leo or Karai! Or Shini. Yikes.”
“Are you giving him our names?!” Donnie shrieked across the roof. “Guys! What have we talked about?!”
Mikey shrugged with a guiltless grin. “Hey, Raph did it first.”
“Names mean a thing?” Casey asked, struggling to keep track of the situation.
“Yes, yes they mean a thing!” Donnie exclaimed. “It would have been nice to know that you’ve both been handing them out like candy, and that Raph’s human’s neighbor was a witch!”
“April’s a witch?” Casey asked, even more confused. “April, you’re a witch and you never told me??”
“Don’t call me names!” April yelled, sweeping at Donnie again. “Just because you’re in trouble doesn’t mean you get to call me names!”
“April’s a witch? What?” Casey questioned again, this time aiming it at the demon hiding behind his back.
“I thought you knew!” Raph said in a panicked voice.
“I thought so too!” Mikey added.
“I DIDN’T SO WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?!” Donnie yelled over April’s broom whacking.
April, apparently unbothered by the side conversations that’d developed, hit Donnie again. “Fix it!”
“I AM, you psychotic woman- ACK-!”
“Yeesh, so no movie night tonight?”
“Not the priority here, idiot!”
“I don’t know what’s happening anymore but guys please don’t attract her attention over here she’ll- APRIL WAIT I HAD NO PART IN THIS-”
“STOP BRINGING DEMONS INTO OUR APARTMENT!”
April being a witch made a horrendous amount of sense. The plants, the insane natural talent she had with chemicals and science in general, the bizarre way she’d been dealing so fearlessly with Casey’s accumulating demon population…
Casey thought it was amazing.
April didn’t think as much.
“That sounds fake,” She said, arms crossed to the demon she was staring down.
Donnie, who had managed to get off the ground again now that things were calmed down, stared back at her. “You are. I can sense latent power all around you.”
“Fake.” April said again. “I don’t believe you for a second. Witches don’t exist.”
“I’m a demon, I’m standing right in front of you. You’ve been living with a demon, if only by association, for more than a month. How can you deny that witches exist?”
“You have to draw the line somewhere, and I’m drawing it here.”
“I don’t understand you humans. At all.”
She’d raised her broom threateningly in response, and Donnie had backed off with his hands raised.
April had eyed them all, eyed her restored garden, and then hefted her broom again. Everyone got the message.
Then she’d left, flipping her loose ponytail over her shoulder as she did.
Casey laughed aloud as she shut the door behind her. “Wow! I can’t believe none of us died! That’s a relief. Now someone explain my best friend being a witch. Seriously. What the fuck.”
Something then lashed out at his head, and Casey didn’t even have time to react before Raph yanked him down, and Donnie’s clawed hand was caught by Raph’s.
“Dammnit,” Donnie cursed shortly.
“I just said-” Raph growled, yanking his much taller brother to his level. “-don’t touch him.”
“And I just said-” Donnie growled back, knocking his long horns and forehead against Raph’s. “-this is going to end in disaster.”
“Oh my god, none of you have any chill,” Casey said, trying to wiggle out of Raph’s restraining grip.
Both of the quarreling demons let out rolling snarls, and Casey was practically tossed aside by Raph as they started fighting again.
The roof was covered in black smoke, and then there were two huge dragons wrestling right in front of Casey. He very closely avoided getting smacked in the face by Donnie’s whipping tail.
And- shit- the cement was cracking, and Raph’s mouth was starting to glow and produce smoke, and Donnie’s was crackling with purple light, and everything smelt like ozone and rain and sort of like a forest fire-
-they both summoned magic circles, bright red against bright purple, and-
-a giant portal opened up underneath them, and they both fell into with surprised bellows.
The orange ringed portal closed up without a sound, and it was like there’d never been demons around to begin with.
Casey looked over at Mikey, who was still holding his hands out with his legs apart.
Mikey looked at Casey, and gave a winning smile. Complete with deadly canines.
“What the fuck.” Casey said, not asked.
“They needed time to cool off,” Mikey explained.
“So you sent them to hell?”
“Maaaaybe?? I don’t know. It just sort of- poofed them off? Somewhere?? They’re gonna come back don’t worry. Donnie’s good at finding his way home, no matter where I poof him.”
“Oh my god.”
“Soooo…” Mikey gave him a cat-ish grin, coy and sly. “Can we go eat all the raw meat and watch a movie till they get back? I mean, they’ll probably get a snack along the ways anyhoo, so like, they ain’t gonna miss that meat, right? Ha ha.”
Mikey’s tail was lashing around excitedly, the curly crest on it bouncing around as it did. He looked way too proud of himself and way too okay with the fact that Raph and Donnie were probably going to come back pissed.
Casey thought for a moment.
Hm. If worse came to worst, he could just call his friendly neighborhood witch to subdue everyone. And speaking of-
“We can if you tell me about April being a witch.”
“Oh totally, and I get dibs on the steak too!”
“Uh. Wasn’t gonna eat it, so sure.”
Technically Raph had been planning to, but keeping Mikey from eating things that weren't exactly dead yet was more important.
next part.
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Three things the beach told me about science in 2018
https://healthandfitnessrecipes.com/?p=8042
Baggersee. With an unprecedented heat wave hitting the northern hemisphere, I eventually found my annual vacation blog post. I wrote blog posts about our beach vacation in Marielyst, Denmark, or Rehoboth Beach, Delaware. However, this year, it took me the better part of two weeks to realize that I had this year’s beach right beneath my feet – the small artificial beach of the Rossenray Lake, a small lake in my home town in Germany where we spent our summer vacation. And here are the three things the beach (and the lake) told me about science in 2018.
Rossenray Lake. This year’s summer blog post is about the small lake where I learned how to sail. Competitive dinghy sailing was my main sport during my teenage years and has left a deep impact on me, especially with regards to how I deal with challenge, stress, and disappointment. I thought that I would put together a motivational blog post for 2018 using the lake as a topic.
Motivational posts. I have taken the liberty in the past to occasionally write motivational blog posts that connect personal experiences with larger scientific questions in the neurogenetics field. I wasn’t quite sure that I wanted to put together such a post this year, but when I decided to hop into the Rossenray Lake one late evening after an exhausting day in the summer heat, I found myself standing on our small, manmade beach and realized that I had found the topic for my summer blog post. I have an unusual affinity for lakes that stems from my time as a competitive sailor during my teenage years. This time period is always formative and Rossenray Lake has probably had more of an impact on my overall way of thinking about the academic landscape than a flooded gravel pit is assumed to have.
Gravel pits. Here is a bit of geography to set the stage. During the past million years, and particularly after the last ice age, the Rhine River ran through various different riverbeds, slowly polishing millions of tons of gravel that were left in the ground after the Rhine changed its course into the current river bed. Mining gravel is still a worthwhile business, and the necessary consequence is that entire areas that are excavated subsequently fill with water. Over time, these excavated gravel pits become their own small ecosystem and are also used for sailing, diving, fishing, and all sorts of recreational activities. Therefore, translating the German word “Baggersee” (literally digger-lake) to water-filled gravel pits falls short of the usefulness of these quarry lakes for people living nearby – over the last 60 years, these lakes have been used extensively – and I learned how to sail on our local water-filled gravel pit that is referred as the Rossenray Lake (Rossenrayer See). From sailing on a small lake, I tried my luck in competitive sailing and – to make a long story short – here are my three things that I took away that are relevant for neurogenetics.
1 – Spontaneous ideas. My career in competitive sailing started somewhat spontaneously on a Thursday afternoon. A friend and I had heard that there was a competition on a nearby lake. The competition was a large, national regatta, and we were contemplating whether or not we should join. I remember that our coach approached and said, “Spontaneous ideas are the best ideas,” and we signed up for the competition. In neurogenetics or science more broadly, you are sometimes in the position to make wide-ranging decisions. It may be a new position, buying an expensive scientific instrument, or accepting a new collaboration or invitation for a far-away conference. The thought that spontaneous ideas are sometimes acceptable has helped me in my scientific career to prevent overthinking and procrastination. In fact, there are many situations where you might feel the need to add more arguments, but in fact your decision is already made.
2 – King of the Lake. What sounds like a wonderful beginning to nice childhood story, ended somewhat badly. When competing on the weekend following my wide-ranging decision on Thursday, I did very poorly. Unexpectedly poorly, in fact. I was one of the best competitors on our small lake, but it took me by surprise how unexperienced I actually was. For some reason that I can’t really remember 30 years later, I decided to continue rather than quit. I realized that it meant very little being King of the Lake and that the national standards were much, much higher. With regards to science, we also tend to live in different spheres. There is the local stage of our own laboratory where you can be a stellar researcher. But this may in fact mean little if you don’t have a good idea of the other levels out there. Being locally respected in your laboratory or graduate student group may be comforting and help you create an identity, but don’t leave out the national or international stage where your performance may be judged differently.
3 – The cunningham. There is one moment during the national German championship in Travemünde that I still remember. Prior to every competition, many sailors compare their speed by racing against each other. Back then, my dinghy was brand-new, the wind had the ideal strength for me, but still, I was not as fast as I used to be. Somewhat paradoxically, I pulled the cunningham tight, one of the ropes that allows you to trim your mainsail. This was supposed to be a heresy as there were at least three theoretical arguments why the cunningham would shape your mainsail in a way that was highly disadvantageous to your speed. However, it did the trick for me and I was fast again. My take away message from this? I like technical explanations and knowing how and why things work – and this fully applies to neurogenetics. However, don’t be surprised if your results in a model system or your theoretical predictions don’t translate in the end. It may be your patient who reacts adversely to a medication you surely predicted to work or your assumption that a given protein would be too important to ever be involved in human disease (I mistakenly made this assumption with GRIN1 a few years ago). Basically, in the same way that the interplay of wind, waves, and navigation occasionally makes your speed on the water unpredictable, the complexity of the human brain may occasionally be hard to model.
Credits: Original Content Source
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