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#i love this absolute buffoon
brokkolili · 2 years
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Yes, very sad... ANYWAY-
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dittolicous · 3 days
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"anti-zosans just dont get it! the appeal IS that they hate each other!"
me, a zosan shipper:
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nikkisticki · 3 months
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I keep an eye on Conservatives online, and let me tell you they are in three states:
1) Actually I think I'd quite like a dictatorship, then the persecution would be against those dirty [insert boogeyman]!
2) How could they take Trump off the Ballot for COMMITING AN INSURRECTION, he had to do that cause the vote was rigged!
3) Hey why is everyone so willing to destroy democracy for the sake of owning people?
I'll tell you right now 1 and 2 are a solid 90% of their comments and 3 is thinking about changing their mind to avoid being on the list.
Vote for Biden, you fucking morons!
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crowleyinaturtleneck · 4 months
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mythallia · 2 months
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blake takes “idiot in love” to a whole new level
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orenbir · 10 months
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@obsidian-carbuncle ‘s ~FABULOUS~ Eros! That may or may not be in Gay Baby Jail
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@maren-warlock ‘s Adrian! The idiot (lovingly) fell in love with their rival.
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starmocha · 2 months
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Xavier is a special boy with a special place in my heart
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gentil-minou · 6 months
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Has anyone done a Secretary Kim wangxian au but with wwx as the genius but clueless CEO and lwj as the extremely competent secretary with a crush he's resigned to never getting anywhere so he quits leading to wwx realizing his feelings and trying to win him back?
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Stygian Tech's CEO Wei Wuxian is acclaimed for his innovative work in clean energy especially since he was forced to drop out of college early due to poor funds.
What most don't know is that his BFF from uni, Lan Wangji dropped out with him and took on the role of his secretary
Thanks to lwj's unsurprising talent for organization and his surprising knack for creating space to network, ST was able to get the funding it needed and wwx was able to put his focus on his projects.
He really couldn't have done any of it without lwj, and now at ST's 10 year celebration he means to commemorate lwj for all his help with a plaque in his honor, to go with all the other ones lwj keeps on the wall behind his desk.
They all proclaim him as LAN ZHAN THE BESTEST FRIEND EVER.
Lan Wangji loves them almost as much as he hates them.
Because you see lwj has harbored a crush on wwx since their very first meeting during a heated debate in their entry level environment sci class.
A crush is putting it lightly. He's known he's been in love with wwx for the past decade. Why else would he drop out of his prestigious university against his family's expectations to work as Wei Ying's secretary? For Wei Ying, of course.
Wei Ying's ideas from the very start were unfounded and actually realistic, able to settle debates about clean energy from all sides in ways that made both happy while still being good for the environment. It wasn't fair that his ideas would have to be shoved away because of a lack of money. Lwj couldn't do that to him, to the world.
So, the day after Wei Ying dropped out, so did Lan Wangji
He's spent the last ten years taking care of the tasks Wei Ying could not, so that he could focus on his inventions and marketing them. They made the perfect team, with LWJ happily working behind the scenes to keep the operation organized and running smoothly, and Wei Ying at the the front charming investors and launching his business off the ground.
Lan Wangji doesn't mind his secretarial duties, he used to find solace in them, in fact. Knowing he could take care of the small things so that Wei Ying could put his brilliant mind to use, it was all the satsifaction he needed.
Until now, that is.
He's put his life and career on hold for so long. He has his own dream of creating his own start up, and he can't keep playing the secretary role forever.
And more importantly he can't handle his heart breaking with another plague about their undying friendship, and just their friendship, again.
So, on the night of ST's 10th anniversary, as he drives wwx home (he only trusts himself to get wy home safely; he will need to work on that) he tells him is quitting, putting in his 2 weeks notice.
Wwx thinks he's joking. Is Lan Zhan quitting some secret smoking habit? A prank?
He laughs and laughs, but lwj doesn't laugh with him. His grip tightens on the steering wheel and he looks straight ahead at the road in front of them.
Oh, Wei Wuxian realizes. He's serious.
The rest of the drive is uncharacteristically silent though the tension cuts.
Lan Wangji stops in front of Wei Wuxian's home, providing details about his plan for offloading his duties in the coming weeks in short clipped sentences. He's already scouted the secretarial department and selected a promising woman named Luo Qingyang who will take his place nicely and he thinks will fit wwx's rather eclectic style of running his business.
But wwx doesn't want anyone to take lwj's place. Lwj had been his partner for so long through all the devastating hurdles and endless nights working. How can he possibly go on without him?
But he will, he has to. Because Lan Zhan wants to leave. So he swallows his tears and smiles, as wide as he can make it stretch.
He says good, and he thanks Lan Zhan.
He holds that smile in pretty plastic place, all through his goodbyes, even as he chokes up when he says his usual farewell, "See you tomorrow Lan Zhan"
Then he goes inside his home, and and collapses into choked sobs right there in the entrance as he hears Lan Zhan drive away.
(threadfic here where i'll probs continue this or i'll make an actual oneshot idk anymore)
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20s-turtle-posting · 1 year
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Girls Day In 1.7k words | El’s saga >here<
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“Thanks for washing the dishes, Don,” April calls from the couch, “You didn’t have to do that.”
“April you started throwing up of course I’m going to do something to help out.” His voice drifts out of the kitchen area where he’s standing looking out the small alley window.
Rain drums peacefully overhead, spattering against the panes, and April has never been more glad to have family in the city. She’s the last of the O’Neils in New York proper, so she’s been feeling a bit lonely recently, and the reminder that her much weirder family is still nearby and still willing to drop everything to come help is an immense comfort. Donny was visiting because she’d asked him to come check on the heating that had started acting up, and after he heard her throwing up in the bathroom he’d all but picked her up and carried her to the couch before insisting on making some tea and cleaning her kitchen while she sat under a blanket and rested.
He turns suddenly from the window and points threateningly as soap suds run down his arm. “After this I’m getting the thermometer and we’re going to do a quick check-up, no ifs ands or buts, unless you’d like me to call Leo.”
Laughing, she waves in surrender, “Okay, okay, I get it!”
“Good.” Don turns back and finishes rinsing the last plates from breakfast, and then wanders back into the living room with a mug of hot tea for himself, which he sets on the coffee table while he darts into the bathroom to rifle through her extensive supplies for the thermometer.
“I promise you I don’t have a fever,” she tries saying, but Don stares at her deadpan until she rolls her eyes and lets him put the thermometer under her tongue.
“You’ve been working hard lately,” he reminds her, picking up one of her wrists in his calloused hands. He’s checking her pulse because of course he is, the worrywort. “And it’s the wrong time of year to get sick, when everyone’s feeling low from the weather.”
“Don, I’ve got my flu shot this fall already, if that’s a concern.” She puts down her tea to reach out and playfully swat at him, which he allows. “Anyway, you’re the guy who needs to have people watch out for you, Mr. “I can’t rest until I finish this project and also this project and that project and-””
“April!” he protests, “I’m not that bad.”
“Right,” she says dubiously, but she lets it drop after that. She’s made her point, but Don is as stubborn as they come and he’s determined to make sure she’s hearty and hale. “How’re things around town?” she asks after a minute.
Don takes the thermometer out of her mouth and nods consideringly at it before replying. “Pretty quiet, honestly. Ever since we put Hun out of commission the Purple Dragons have been on the decline, and Karai has miraculously been keeping her nose clean.”
April hums. “I haven’t seen her in the news, so she’s definitely keeping on the down low.”
“It’s in her best interest,” Don remarks, “If she doesn’t, she knows who’ll come knocking, and El’s not going to play nice now that we’re good and done with that whole… demon… incident.”
April nods wisely. “El’s always been sensibly wary of her, though I understand where Leo comes from with how much leeway he’s given her in the past.”
At that Don snorts. “She burned those bridges pretty thoroughly when she destroyed our home, even if she helped us with the demon. Leo’s willing to start over with her, considering what we know about the future of the Foot Clan, but he’s not sure where we fit into that picture so he’s waiting to see how she acts over the next few years.”
“It’s a lot to think about,” April agrees. She sips her tea, and holds open the blanket to let Donny slip in under the warmth when he sits next to her on the couch. He sighs contentedly. “You are such a little heat thief,” April teases.
“Not my fault,” he retorts, “I didn’t decide to start my life cold-blooded.” He gets a teasing look in his eyes and suddenly leans on her hard, “Let me have your warmth, endotherm!”
April giggles and shoves back, but it’s like pushing a brick wall. “You’re going to squish me, you big lump!” she laughs.
“The hell?” a voice interrupts and they both jump as El’s head pops in through the door. “Don I thought you were fixin’ the heat in this joint?”
“I was,” Donny says defensively, snuggling down under the blanket, “but when I came back upstairs guess who was heaving her guts into the toilet?”
El shuts the door quietly and then is beside April quick as a breath, brow furrowed in concern. “You feelin’ ok April?”
“I’m fine, El,” she says, “Donny already gave me a thorough checkup and made me some soothing tea.”
El makes a face for a moment, then shrugs and turns to walk into the kitchen, likely investigating the possibility of snacks and tea for herself. “Well if she thinks yer good, then I’ll take her word for it.”
April blinks. She turns carefully to look at Don, who looks up from his tea to stare back at her.
“What?”
“Do you.… Are you a girl too?”
“What?” Don repeats, and then suddenly blushes a little, “Oh! There’s a good explanation for that I promise. I’m not- well okay maybe- I don’t know how to explain.”
“‘S like, reflectin’ my pronouns or whatever,” El explains, wandering back into the sitting area with a mug of steeping tea in one hand and several cookies between each finger of the other. “She called it uhh, mirror pronouns, right doll?”
“Right.”
“Huh,” April sits back a little, pondering this information. “I didn’t know that was a thing people did.”
“That’s what Mikey said,” El grunts, and stuffs a cookie in her mouth.
“Could you explain it a little more?” asks April, “I just don’t want to be rude on accident or something.”
“It’s pretty simple,” Don explains, “whatever pronouns you use currently just apply them to me. That’s why El calls me ‘she’ and ‘her’.”
“And doll,” El adds, grinning.
“And doll. I still think it makes you sound like some mob boss from the twenties” El munches on another cookie, unconcerned. “I like it, ‘s fun. And don’t tell me you don’t like me callin’ you doll, Don, I saw you smilin’ this mornin’ when I came in for breakfast and said it.”
“I think it’s really cute,” April interjects. “It sounds pretty non-gendered, in a way. But still flatteringly feminine. It’s sweet.”
Don is blushing faintly again and El is now too, picking cookie crumbs off her plastron with a bashful expression. “Really?” Don mumbles.
“Honest,” April says firmly. She puts her arm around Don’s shoulders and squeezes in a one-armed hug. “Now, do you want me to do the mirror pronouns for you too?”
Don grins, the lopsided one that’s soft and shy that makes April want to smother all the turtles with affection. “Actually yeah, I’d love that, April.”
“Well there we go.” April grins. “I’ll update Casey when he gets home from work tonight.”
Donny practically glows. “That’s cool.”
April really thought she couldn’t love this little family any more than she already does, but they’re still surprising her at every turn and she gets to rediscover her affection for them every single time. She’s so caught up with the emotions of the moment, the steady trust that Don has just put in her, that she tears up and almost spills the beans on her surprise right then and there.
“Whoa, April, you okay?” El jumps up immediately, concerned.
“I’m fine, I promise,” she sniffles. Wiping her eyes on the corner of the blanket, she lets Don take her almost empty tea mug from her hands and then put a comforting arm around her shoulders. “Sorry, I don’t know where that came from. Maybe I am feeling a little under the weather.”
“You should take it easy for the rest of the day,” Don suggests, though it sounds more like an order.
“I’ll run downstairs and make sure things are locked up,” El says, and darts away to do just that.
Don slips out from under the blanket. “Let me go get you some more tea.”
April smiles up at her. “What would I do without you girls looking out for me?”
Don has no response to that, ducking her head and looking pleased as she goes to fetch more tea. When she comes back she unfolds another throw blanket and fusses, tucking April in more snugly.
Charging back in, El grins as she makes a beeline for the kitchen and emerges with more cookies and a huge glass of water, which she sets pointedly in front of April next to the mug of fresh tea that Don brought.
“There. Stayin’ hydrated  is important. Need anythin’ else?”
“Just the TV guide and the remote,” April says, smiling back, “I think this calls for a girls only afternoon with bad reality TV.” She glances at Don. “Interspersed with the science channel, of course.”
Don and El’s eyes both light up.
April pats the couch. “What are you waiting for? Get settled, gang, we’re relaxing today.”
“Hell yeah.”
El squeezes in on one side and Don on the other, making the couch quite snug as they spread out the blankets and adjust throw pillows. There’s a moment of good natured bickering between the turtles over what to watch first, but April goes with Don’s pick of the current program on the science channel and they all settle in with their tea. El chomps down on another cookie.
“April you gotta stop gettin’ these shortbreads,” she grumbles, “they get crumbs everywhere.”
“I notice you’re still eating almost all of them when I buy a new package,” April points out, and flicks a crumb off El’s beak.
“Shh,” Don hisses, “the commercial break is over! Turn it up April, this one looks good.”
With the rain drumming soothingly overhead, the science channel blaring, a mug of hot tea in her hands, and two of her best friends and little sisters on either side of her, April can’t imagine a better way to spend the afternoon.
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fraeulein-freya · 1 month
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Johnny isn't a "romance option" in Cyberpunk 2077 because the Johnny romance isn't optional, it's the main story! In this 5.000 word essay I will...
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saetoshis · 11 months
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i cant get this comparison out of my head
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timegears-moved · 1 year
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H
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username has been changed, I am fully embracing that this is a good omens blog now. nobody can stop me. my brainrot is more powerful than that goddamn s2e1 miracle was.
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lovcdandlost · 10 months
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jules: the kind of guy you look at and you just Know he listens to linkin park
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that quiz labelling e/delgard as an evil girlboss and 🙄 her evil level is so pathetically low she should’ve actually done more war crimes lmao
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sublunaryorchid · 2 years
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hoooooo boy here we go
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