#i love them very much if u cant tell
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fun fact, silver is supposedly older than vayne in human age, but he'll always be the little brother to vayne.
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland fanart#twst fanart#twst oc#vayne zhao#twst vayne#silver#silver twisted wonderland#twst silver#my art#just akai things#yes i gave vayne a nose piercing#that was his beta design lol#i love them very much if u cant tell#vayne does have a fairly okay brother relationship with sebek too#just that he's much more closer to silver
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woooowwww wowowowowwwww its that guy. the dude. its my special lil guy!!
uuhh i did this because. i thought the album art for the 1998 anime looked kinda like. the sonic adventure pose. and it was SUPPOSED! to just be a shit post. and then i got
𝒸𝒶𝓇𝓇𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝒶𝓌𝒶𝓎!!
Trimax version
TriStamp version
#art#my art#digital art#Digital Illustration#fanart#trigun#trigun 98#trigun 1998#Vash the Stampede#goddddd this took me way too long lmaooo#i been busy sobb#i am not gonna lie i kinda wanna redraw it for both trimax and tristamp#but im not super sure abt it well see#i dont think itd take as long as this did#the worst part abt art imo is color i just cant do it its too hard i struggle too much i hope u cant tell i gave up on it LOL#i was literally like im done w the colors now i just gotta do bg and showed the colored vers to my mom and she was like 😬#WHAT!! WHAT DOES THAT FACE MEAN!! the colors clash really bad... it doesnt look very good.... love the lineart but the colors...... not it#the defeat in my soul#so i redid it and i redid the shading and the style and said then got back to the colors and stole them from one of my favorite paintings#and then ended up puttin a filter on em sobb#i got the colors from rosalyn drexlers chubby checker fyi#cos i mentioned i stole em might as well say from where#i like her art#idk if her arts surreal but its a lil weird its my type#actually i think its pop? idk im not good at tellin that stuff#dont ask me what happened to the bottom of the text it got cropped off on accident n i noticed too late n was too lazy to fix it#i will not change#anyways thats the post sorry for ramblin so much in the tags loll im tired i havent slept in oof a while
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breaking news: surprising absolutely no one, pik has fallen in love with the fast paced fps game where the big, silent badass of a main character's sole goal is to protect the small, squishy innocents.
#lines i did#roboquest#i love this game its great#the writing is so goofy and i cant quite tell if its intentional or of its bc they dont have an actual writer on their team but eith#either way its simple and silly and i love it#not to mention its very vague and leaves plenty of space for potential worldbuilding...#and the animations range from wonderfully clean and snappy; like the reload animations for each weapon and the enemies movement animations#to 'lets just obscure the boss under esplosion textures and lower it under the floor so we dont actually have to animate it exploding' and#its still hilarious to watch every time#music is DAMN GOOD#gameplay is comparable to modern doom#a little rougher around the edges but hey its an indie studio not a triple a and theyre still working on it#npc designs are DELIGHTFUL. why does the robot wear a fake mustach. why does the robot with a single optic wear a normal pair of goggles.#they have so much character despite none of them uttering a single word ever#except for max i guess; she has dialogue. but shes also Literally The Only Human In The Game so like. she gets a pass.#anyway more of my mutuals should buy it so we can co-op it together.#(mutuals if u buy it let me know id be 100% down to co-op it with u)
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quick sketch of my ocs hheheh. ONE DAY ILL DRAW THEM FOR REAL but i just really needed to get them out Yippie! their names r anya and timmy ! they r deftones gf and mw emo bf duo!!and based off of youre gonna miss it all by mobo!! ^_^
#pothole#they love each other very much!!!!!!#also u cant really tell cuz they both wear baggy clothes but anya is the flat chest and bigger stomach than her chest body type#this is very important information.#voskhod2#ANDD WELL ERM i heart them
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I haven't mentioned it because there's still a million things on my mind I have yet to talk about but I truly cannot put into words how in love I am with the stable trotters
#i cant tell you how exciting it is to have more dynamic characters that not only serve a significant purpose but also#really feel like true tloz characters. u know what i mean#i dunno i still love botw and always will but i admit one thing that always felt lacking was an array of dynamic characters#you know. the real wacky and or charming types#so basically im just very satisfied. feeling a lot of nostalgia with the reintroduction of more classic zelda elements in totk#i think its the perfect mix of classic zelda and the much newer botw style yk. i like it. thats exactly what i hoped for from it#it does kind of make botw look like a tech demo in comparison#totk spoilers#tears of the kingdom spoilers#tears of the kingdom#i willl continue to spoiler tag my own rambling posts as spoilers for anything that feels significant enough for them btw.#but my blog itself is not a spoiler safe place#because im too static brained to tag individual games or spoilers for every single post i reblog#miles rambles
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Ann Takamaki is literally my everything. She's my babygirl. She's my best friend. She's my daughter. She's my girlfriend. She's my sister. She's the p5 character ever. Goodnight.
#this is a very important psa i love ann p5 so fucking much#i was not this attached to her at the start but now? cant get enough of her#that redesign and the other drawing from yesterday are sitting in my brain festering. i love her#she can be all of these at once#its funny i call her my daughter though cuas like canonically shes a year older than me 💀#doesnt matter though i raised that girl#atlus i will fight u until the end of time over how poorly you handled her i will never forgive you#picking up ann and RUNNING with her my girl now#anyways goodnight i need to sleep but i also needed to tell everyone my heart belongs to three persona women she is very much one of them#gee wonder who the other two are 💀#no thoughts brain sleepy heart full of love for ann#i make a variation of this post at least every two months but it's important ann ily
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i think kazuha would be very nice to exchange letters and poems with
#he reminds me of someone w an old school kinda romance. even in a modern au?#theres beauty in simplicity and in doing things by your own hands (wholly by yourself)#i want to make haikus for him. or he shld make haikus for me. surhwujdjsodnskd#i both kin and romantically like kazuha okay#duhdhehdjdhwjdjjdi <333#✩⤻; rambles !#hmmmhmh i wrote this during my simp pass in ebg but then forgot abt it after ... oh well ><#i like making poetry n stuff !! might assign them to some characters but i also dont want anyone to steal my stuff so. :< <//3#gna put this in kazuha x reader bcs y not LMAO#most of these rambles r in the tags but wtv we go 💪🏼✨#hmmm kazuha likes decorating the letters he gives to u i think#not anything extremely extravagant but if he finds a leaf or wtvr !! an object that can serve as a reminder that hes there w u#even far away yeah ? bcs he loves you vv much :]#i feel like hes good w words in poetic stuff snd all but i kind of hc hes not the best w being straightforward#tell him to make a poem and he'll do it easily. ask him to talk abt his feelings and he won't be very good at it ?#ik i had a tag for hcs i have for characters but i cant rmbr anymore ... gahhh#anyways yeah ! kazuha is rlly such a romantic at heart i think. maybe im self projecting but i think he wants to love and be loved vv much#:(( ykyk yeah? and also that he prolly grew up w stories and fairytales n all that !! he holds them vv close to his heart hehe#tag later#kazuha x reader
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did i make a mistake?
#sigh dawnie crush issues in the tags#so yeah fair warning#...........................................................................................................................................#idk man I just. i feel like instead of getting closer weve grown more distant ever since he asked me out and its killing me man#i dont wanna be hurt. im so fragile rn and just starting to heal from the years of trauma i faced in my family. when i try to talk#about any issue i have to him he just. ignores the text#or gives me a very dry response which hey. im not trying to say u should listen to my issues all the time. i get that some people dont want#to. but i would just much rather have someone tell me that directly yk? just a hey i dont do well with rants. but the thing is he said hes#fine with them. but then when i get nothing to address it i just. i feel hurt. like... ive started to wonder if hes just keeping the#relation for namesake at this point but ik that isnt true. weve only been dating 2 weeks or so i shouldnt judge so soon. but man its hard#to not overthink ive always been conditioned to do that. ive always been super excited when he plans a date (which he doesnt even call#a date) but when i try to plan smth its always that he has some other plan to attend to which again i get it im not the jealous date who#asks her s/o to be for her every waking moment but yk it does hurt and i feel instead of just letting it bottle up its better to admit it.#i tried to ask him to get cotton candy once and he said wed go the next day and then he forgot. never asked me a time or anything. i didnt#think of it much cuz hed gone to meet a friend outside the city and he mustve been tired. yesterday i asked him again and he said he was#again going outside the city to meet his 12th grader friend. man am i jealous of that girl who gets to spend more time with the guy#who asked me out than ive collectively spent with him#and no i dont mean this in a toxic way like “oh hes meeting other girls he shouldnt do that” i just. man i pictured so much out of my first#relationship. and i got nothing. not one thing out of it. i guess it makes sense cuz my love language is mostly physical touch and u cant#really do that in a campus in India. and its also wrong of me to hold him to such high standards of a perfect relationship when the guy#himself has been in one for the first time (i assume?) but like i said id rather not try to hide my emotions and express them out openly.#theres still so much more about this that i feel wrong but the thing is its confusing cuz i feel like the two years of torture in my house#has made it so that the trauma from never hearing i love you wnd words of affirmation from my parents has been reflecting off this place.#its wrong of me to do this but i expected everything that i couldnt recieve to be fulfilled in a relationship and i now realise how stupid#i was yk? cuz its wrong of me to put such harsh expectations on him like that. i feel like such a shallow person for getting depressed over#a relationship that has just been going for 1 week#theres also the thing where he generally seemed more excited to talk to me before? and now i just get the dryest responses ever out of#which no conversation can be built. and again im not expecting him to be online and respond immediately but a thoughtful response goes a#long way. again ik im being so harsh on him cuz its his first time too and he must be facing the same awkwardness im facing but jesus. i#ok my tags are over im continuing in a reblog
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Background for each book:
1. the hubbard book is a product of my scientology special interest and was bought second hand
2. Hobb book was a gift from my dad
3. Jones book is a swedish translation that was read to me (by dad) as a kid before sleepy times
#can you tell my dad is the fantasy nerd in the family lmaoo#the books in my pile that was from my mom were all drama or classics#and the sci fi and fantasy is my dads thing#i know i shit on my dad sometimes but i very much treasure to have two parents who have always valued reading#and who have influenced me with a love for different genres both growing up and now :)#im really lucky that theyre different and that i can gain something from both of them in this regard#u can talk alot of shit abt my upbringing but you cant say no one ever read me a bedtime story#theyre both probably to thank for a lot of my creative qualities now <3#polls
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i think ive only thought that love was a romantic thing but dang i love my friends so much the way i light up around them and i could look at them smiling laughing for ages and ages and there's also the feeling of existing in our own space and being able to pet a cat or smtg- it makes my heart fill up with warmth gosh dang its such an incredible thing really to see love everywhere
YESSD !! love is so important. thereis so much love everywhere that isnt romantic . yes . hsyes
#i am aroaceeee and i fkin love everything n everyone . love is not just romance its Literallh the whole point#it makes me rllh happy when people talk abt loving their friends . ty for sharing anon#tell ur friendd u love them and give them hugs n tell them how much u care abt rhem literally sonimportant#sorry im a typingmess im verh tired and my phone keyboard doednt keep up w my hands#asks#look up the different kinds of love they all havenames i cant remember but its very cool and nice
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#twtt spoilers (sort of) onwards! ->#i always think of the twtt epilogue when i listen to this song#ive seen a lot of people say that this song is like sad or whatever#and i guess with the title i can see that#but for me personally (and maybe definitely its because this plays in lis 2 lol) its always felt like something very hopeful#u know? the sun has risen over sean and daniels little cabin#the horrors have passed (FOR NOW LOL. FUCK. HOW COULD THEY DO THAT TO ME) and a new day has begun#idk its always felt hopeful and sweet and i really love it#its weird to think that twtt this time next year is going to be over#im aiming for all of the chapters to be out by august#but twtt has been such a big part of my life for so long#and to know im finally telling that story the way i want to and that ill be setting it down for good after this makes me really emotional#i love them a lot. kid and mu and bow and timmy and minuit and everyone i do truly love them#and everything thats come of it: the fanart ive received throughout the years.. the friends ive made.. the PUZZLE.. and more that i cant#<- share yet is all so amazing to me#man#i love twtt.#i love love love twtt guys#sometimes i get in my head about it but i love twtt so much#rambling#Spotify
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jimmy and kim, kimmy and jimmy........ it's literally just like "it's you and me ! there's nothing like this !" the chokehold these two have on me rn......
#just watched wexler vs goodman. fantastic showstopping incredible#love them#love their chaos bc in the end! it's u and me!!#loving this story cant wait to catch up and go back and watch s1 and 2 after we finish s5 lmao#oh my beloveds....#k.w&j.m.#im carving their initials into a tree#agakhskshsk#ok... im gonna try to go to bed now lmao#i just haven't been emotionally invested in fictional blorbos in a while... feels good feels organic#bcs#better call saul#.text#sorry to bring tswift lyrics into it when the context could not be any funnier but!!#i dont even listen to that song v often tbh just cause i don't find it sonically very compelling#ALTHO i rly like a lot of the imagery in it i just dont listen often and i havent heard it in weeks#so this line popping into my head out of nowhere just cause i was thinking about them........#well i just think it's very telling#calling them miss americana and the heartbreak prince feels a bit much but also..... in my heart they are ❤️#lmaoo ok gn now fr yall#p
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APPLIED FOR JOB. 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
#PLS SEND ME SOOOOO MANY 'GET THAT JOB' VIBES PLEASE I NEED THEM#NOT ONLY DO I NEED.. MONEY. BUT ALSO I JUST REALLY WANT THIS JOB LOL#its like my dream job. not really but of the options in town its very very ideal#and i can save so much money#ill be working 40 hours a week making. $20/hr. GODDDD#AN ACTUALLY DECENT JOB??? IN THIS TOWN????????#and i can take this experience to either of my dream jobs in another town#its unfortunate that as much as i love to overshare on the internet i genuinely am not allowed to discuss this job online!!!!#(if we are like. close mutuals and we have talked in dms and stuff and ur curious i can tell u i just cant broadcast it publicly online)
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raise your hand if you feel like an overgrown child [raises hand]
#was talking to a friend about this yesterday but like. im legally an adult but it doesnt feel that way at allllll#cause in the us you become an adult a good three years before you can actually do every Adult Thing so then you have this age group thats#stuck in legal limbo where like youre tried as an adult you have adult responsibilities but you cant even enjoy the perks of being an adult#unless you do it illegally. i am just a tall child. ive got two thoughts at any given time and none of them involve taxes i can tell u that#plus ik college is supposed to be harder than high school but in my experience it hasnt been so im just coasting? and maybe its more work#but its not harder so it feels like high school 2.0 and i have all new friends and a new living situation but its still so foreign?#like none of it feels very adult. idk. and its not even a bad thing that i feel this way! i love being a kid! i love still having childlike#wonder about the world! it's just awkward yknow? anyway i kinda miss my hometown. never thought id ever admit to that haha#but i love my new town. so. mixed emotions for sure. talked to my parents today though that was nice. love them so so much.#andy says shit
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— @poetofthedyingstars x belphegor!
song: this side of paradise - coyote theory
#aa tysm for your message it was soo sweet ;; <3#i think you and satan would get on well but ultimately its belphie you connect with!#hes been through a lot and is a little distrustful but over time you both help each other soften#you both learn to see theres a lot to love about yourselves each other and the world as a whole ^^#his older brothers can all be.....a lot sometimes but belphie loves both u and them a lot and it helps you all become that much closer#he loves it so so much when you share your art or poetry with him and always encourages you to do so#you'll be in the planetarium together in the midst of the night and he just turns to you asking what youve been working on#and if youre not up for showing him thats ok too!! he just goes 'ok can u read that poem i like then?'#belphie also takes ur recs very seriously!! you say you like a film or a song and hes on it and will be telling u his honest opinion asap#(lucifer wishes he would have the same attitude towards his studies =_=)#and ofc belphie helps you when you cant sleep!! its his sin after all hehe#he makes sure youre all comfy surrounded by blankets and pillows and most importantly him and then uses some magic and ur out like a light#he'll use some extra magic to make sure you have nice dreams too <3#3am texts
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Too [insert adjective here] for guard ...................
Well, it's only half related.
We "hit a pothole", "had a slipup", whatever you want to call it — sunday. Aka: for the sake of my sanity we are not labeling it a relapse but good god does it feel as though I have invited the demons back in.
I know why, but I don't really know why. Because, I mean... I never have, to begin with. So: when I decided i was doing it sunday, i accepted it. "Let it happen", as someone would probably say to me. It's not...
I've been thinking about it for a while now. It's like anything - it comes and goes, a few times a year, and no matter what, I always ignore it.
Except, maybe there's something I'm not paying attention to? Or, ignoring, is the better word for it?
Of course it would be the one thing I have happening in my life.
November, I was burnt out for unrelated reasons. It was a lot to take in. That made sense. Now? ... why now?
There's not really any pressure on me. Yes, I have to do things, yes, it will be noticed if they're bad, but ...... it's not important. We don't spend time on it. I'm coming back next year, but it might be at the cost of ... all of this. I think it's progress. I haven't touched my guitar in any serious capacity in over a year. I think it's progress.
I don't take compliments well. I can't tell if that's why I don't get them, but I'm not being corrected much either. Only when I drift too far from what the work is supposed to be, only after weeks of it going, I can only assume, unnoticed. I keep getting stuck.
...push it back down.
Telling me I'm doing good isn't telling me what I know I have to be getting wrong. I could take it, at the cost of... all of this. I'm anticipating, and I know it can come. This is not where I was when I started.
It's been said, I haven't been told, that not starting it means you're more of a burden, by making the other person have to do it first. I know that. I do. And still it doesn't help. I'm not drowning. It wasn't an accident, but it wasn't planned, either. I don't know you.
I don't know you.
I'm not a good person. I'm not a nice person. Every week I tell myself this is really it, and every week I come back, and ... what? Forget I ever said anything? Forget we're not friends?
Well, we're not, huh? Nobody is, with me. What you see I swear you misunderstand. You don't ask. If you do, well, I can't answer. We're at an impasse.
It's not even my fault we didn't make it. I shouldn't feel like this over nothing. I don't do anything. You will, correctly, not let me do anything, because potential doesn't matter if you can't back it up. If you won't back it up. I let things happen to me.
I don't even feel better. And, actually, ironically, i think i know what would let me feel better. If I can't be upset with anyone else, at least I can be with myself.
... but, well, not even that. Your heart in my hands, but I mean it diegetically. And metaphorically. I hate putting myself out there, I hate having to actually perform, and yet every time, no matter what, I do it. I'm fine. I only cared at the start, and even then not very.
I don't feel anything. Not a lot, anyways. I don't let it happen. I can't. I don't know what it'll mean if I start being honest with myself.
...
I've pulled myself out of this before. A few times, now. Different circumstances, but I've done it all the same. Seasonal depression notwithstanding.
I'm only here because I did things I was scared to. And still, I'm the same. No progress made. The only way out is to do it again but I feel like I can't. I can't.
Will someone just let me say that?
Will someone just fucking help for once?
#sh tw#(implied - i know i didnt actually say it in the post but yes i did c** myself sunday)#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#im cursed with being a bit too self aware so#i think its compounded by my nepotism hire ... not letting me do my nepotism hire things#(for legal reasons i cannot say)#and then to add to that not letting me do anything I probably COULD actually do given slightly more instruction (at guard)#its just ... im a very angry person actually . except right now thats because im not EATING RIGHT EITHER#BECAUSE ALL OF MY PROBLEMS ARE COMBINING INTO ONE BIG INTERCONNECTED PROBLEM#back to my point.#guard instructors decided that for my first year i will not do anything cool because i'm not able to learn in about 2 seconds flat#[read: get very upset very quickly when i get things wrong and then . cant do them because im trying not to have a breakdown over]#[something REALLY STUPID like NOT BEING ABLE TO DO A SIMPLE TURN WHILE MOVING WITH THE FLAG]#so like okay. i get it okay. i'm not good at this. could you at least TELL ME i suck so i can feel justified about feeling bad about it.#could you just fucking tell me this isn't a guard where you can show up with no experience. could you do me a real solid and tell me that.#i dont know maybe the real sign it wasnt for me was when i was seriously considering not turning up for the second 'audition'#really i just hate how much he yells at us. not even at ME because i do so little there is no room to fuck it up. just at everyone else .#it doesn't motivate me to come back but i NEED 'friends' so bad and i love performing so now i just get anxious enough that i cant eat ..#.. before going to rehearsal. which is stupid. because i've done it a million times before.#......#i'm just.... everyone says he isn't actually that bad. & he used to be worse. so it really is just me.#it's just me being oversensitive. because i've never had any REAL experience in ... just about anything#so; yes. it IS on me how I feel and obviously how I react. and I keep pushing it down because it's stupid; really; to still feel this way.#anyways. our last weekend without a competition is this very weekend#so you'll never guess who's having a REALLY FUCKING HARD TIME trying to practice#i'm like this close to going to bed early and without having done the dance warmup for the third day in a row.#лёва there is no TIME why are you STILL NOT PRACTICING for the love of god get it together#(oh also when i say 'friends' in quotes it is because i desparately want to believe we're friends but they dont even talk to me really)#(and because im not even IN most of the show theres not much to bond over. literally like i have everything down Decent enough (apparently)#so theres not even any 'i will help u with this toss' team bonding. no shared moment of we are all out of breath because i DONT DO ANYTHING
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