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heart-stomper · 3 years

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The Plantars Discover Sitcoms

It wasn’t going to be easy, especially after everything that happened back in Amphibia, but being back home finally gave Anne some room to breathe. Ease back into what she once thought of as “normal”. And while she totally plans on going for another round of hugs with her parents, right now she has another very important thing she’d like to do:

Show off as much human stuff as she can to the Plantars.

First order of business, channel surfing. It’s a totally relaxing activity where the biggest downside is that it’s basically impossible to pick something to watch. The perfect way to have a chill afternoon, and that’s just what they could use. Nothing could go wrong. Anne gathers up the Plantars and ushers them into the living room, holding out a hand as if she’s showing off a long lost artifact.

“Alright guys, here it is. The main attraction: the television. Or y’know, a TV, for short.” as Anne says this, the Plantars give lil “ooo”s and “aaa”s as if they really are being guided through some sort of museum.

Sprig bounces closer, his eyes lighting up half from excitement but mostly from getting waaay to close to the screen. “Whoa, it’s even bigger than I thought.” his words were hushed in awe.

“Impressive. You can really see all those lil details ya couldn’t with that phone of yours.” Hop Pop quipped as he reached Sprig’s side, also getting way too close to the TV.

“It really is like a giant phone! ... Can I touch it?” Polly asked, half begging. The girl was clearly ready to pounce from the spot on the coffee table she was currently at. There’s no way Anne was gonna tell her no.

“Sure dude, go ahead.”

“YES!” with that approval, Polly sprints off the coffee table and face plants right into the TV, flying between the boys. Anne lets out a low oof along side Polly’s, but once Polly triumphantly gets back up with a semi-evil sounding laugh, Anne refocuses herself to find the remote.

Cue canned laughter.

“Oh hey, I know that laugh track. It’s from that sitcom my parents would sometimes leave on when we’d prep dinner together.”

“What’sa sitcom?”

“Well Hop Pop, I’m pretty sure it’s short for ‘situational comedy’. They’re usually about wacky stuff happening in a mostly mundane setting, like an office.”

“That sounds... kinda boring.” Polly commented with a tinge of confusion, clearly wondering why someone would want to watch something like that.

“Trust me, when you have someone to make fun of it with, even the worst jokes are funny.”

“She makes a good point. Let’s watch it!” Sprig said from... the couch? Man, that boy is quick. Anne does a spin when she reaches the couch so she can face the TV and flop down next to Sprig, and they’re shortly joined by the others. It looks like the main characters just arrived at some fancy restaurant. A server with a bowtie approaches the table, cloche serving dish in hand.

“And now for one of our finest delicacies,” the server removes the cloche, steam billowing out and concealing whatever may lie underneath, only parting when they introduce the dish, “frog legs.”

Anne and the Plantars let out a gasp. Sprig puts a hand to his mouth, wide-eyed in horror as the people on the TV gnash and tear off flesh from those poor froggy legs. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“I KNEW IT!” Polly hops in front of Anne, pointing at her so hard her arm shakes a little, “You do eat frogs!”

“What?! Ew, no no no no no! Gross! I mean, some people eat them, but I didn’t grow up with that, so it’s always seriously grossed me out! Look, I’ll just grab the remote and-” Anne grabs at the empty space next to her, realization setting in, “oh frog, I never found the remote!” Anne quickly removes Polly from her lap and starts digging.

“I thought you said this was a comedy Anne, not a horror show!” Hop Pop covers Sprig’s eyes. The sitcom’s laugh track plays again as one of the protagonists acts shocked and calls the frog legs ‘delicious’. “Are those people laughin’ at the mutilation of my brethren?!”

Anne stops shifting her hands in between the cushions and resorts to lifting them off the couch in desperation. “’Scuse me.” She slides Hop Pop and Sprig onto the ground, “Sorry Hop Pop kinda busy.”

The protagonists finish, or at least toss out, the remaining frog legs. Hop Pop makes a comment complaining that you should at least finish eating something you’ve killed, which catches Anne’s attention. “Finally,” Anne glances back at the TV, and for once is happy to see an empty plate, “glad that’s over.” Hop Pop removes his hands from Sprig’s eyes. Anne closes her own and relaxes a bit. Then, the server returns to the sitcom protagonists’ table.

“We have one last meal for the evening,” the server places a new serving dish and removes the cloche once more, “escargot.”

“Escar-what now?” Hop Pop asked.

“Oh, that’s French for...” Anne’s eyes widen in knowing horror, “...snail.” She seriously needed to find that remote.

Hop Pop gives Anne a suspicious look. “And how come you knew what they meant?” Hop Pop rapidly gets more livid, “Really Anne, ya eat snails too?! And here I thought Bessie meant somethin’ ta ya!”

“What!?” Anne gasps, scandalized, “How could you Hop Pop?! You know I love Bessie like my own family!” Hop Pop softened hearing that, snapping out of his fear induced paranoia.

“Sorry Anne, you’re right. This sitcom thingy is really gettin’ in my head.”

“Apology accepted. Wait, how’s Sprig holding-” Anne’s voice peaks as she sees Sprig’s huddled body rocking back and forth, staring at the massacre taking place on screen, “-UP?! SPRIG!” She rushes over to him. “Oh no. Don’t look! Just hold on buddy.”

“But... I can’t look away. I want to, but I can’t!” This time the sitcom protagonists are totally disgusted with the food, a huge departure from the pleasant surprise they had with the frog legs. However, because the server has such an expectant look on their face, the protagonists keeps forcing down those snails.

“Wow, those people are acting like they got served Hop Pop’s cooking.”

“Polly!!” Anne and Hop Pop reprimand simultaneously.

“What? It’s true!” Polly is given The Look. “Fine fine, I know. ‘Think those thoughts, don’t say ‘em’.” Hop Pop looks proud for a moment, but then notices something on the screen and doubles back in horror.

“I can’t look, that one looks just like Micro-Angelo!”

“Oh c’mon Hop Pop, they can’t look that similar.” Anne takes her eyes off the Plantars and looks back to the screen. Her eyes lock-on to the fork slowly delivering that innocent baby snail towards that horrifying monster’s mouth. She can practically hear the ‘meep’ of her sweet baby boy.

As if possessed, Anne keeps her body totally straight and speed walks up to the TV. She leans over, and feels for something on the side of it. Presses a button. And the screen goes black.

She totally forgot you could turn it off that way.

“Yeah! Woo-hoo!!” The Plantars cheer and use their combined strength to lift up Anne, their savior, in glorious victory. Anne proudly lifts her arms up and cries tears of sweet relief.

Once the short celebration ends, and Anne is returned to the floor, she hugs the Plantars. “I’m so sorry you guys, I had no idea it was gonna be like that! I’ll make sure to be more careful next time.”

“Aw, it wasn’t THAT bad.” Polly said, waving an arm to emphasize it really wasn’t that big a deal, “It was actually kind of fun seeing those two freak out so much.”

“Yeah, pretty dark, but that’s nature for ya.” Hop Pop added to the reassurance train.

“Pretty sure that one’s gonna traumatize me for life, but I forgive you.” Anne still felt a bit guilty, but hearing Sprig’s words, along with the rest of the Plantars’, made her feel a lot better. “But please never show me anything like that ever again.”

“You got it buddy.” Anne brought Sprig back into a hug, and gave his head a little pat. While she didn’t have to witness most of it, Anne didn’t wanna see anything like that ever again either. So it should be an easy promise to keep.

“Hey Anne?”

“Yes Polly?”

“...Thanks for holding back and not eating us.”

Utterly frustrated, Anne’s voice once again reached a frankly impressive peak, “I NEVER WANTED TO EAT YOU GUYS!”

#guess I'm actually gonna try and write my ideas into short stories now oops-#I kept getting deja vu writing this so if this was basically already the plot of an episode oh no #amphibia #anne boonchuy #the plantars #sprig plantar #hop pop plantar #polly plantar #true colors spoilers #jdtao stories

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amostexcellentblog · 6 years

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Classic Movies for Beginners: Case File #3: The MGM Musicals

The world is a stage, The stage is a world of entertainment!

Director(s): Vincente Minnelli; Stanley Donen; Charles Walters; and Others

Starring: (Deep Breath) Judy Garland; Fred Astaire; Gene Kelly; Cyd Charisse; Debbie Reynolds; Donald O’Connor; Frank Sinatra; Jane Powell; many more.

Watch if You Like: Musicals. Seriously, the MGM musicals still define the genre in the popular imagination. So even if you’ve never seen one (and you have seen one, The Wizard of Oz) you’re probably familiar with the style. Almost every recent hit movie musical--La La Land, Hairspray, The Greatest Showman, High School Musical--was shaped in some way by the bright technicolor sweetness of these movies. So if you’re a fan of any of those films, a theater geek, or just curious about what the movie musical was like at its peak, enjoy.

Since I could talk for days about these movies, I’ve decided to just do a quick list of the 10 most essential titles There are, of course, many other musicals from the studio that are worth a watch, but I’m trying to control myself.

Singin’ in the Rain (1952): Everyone’s favorite musical! In case you’ve been living under a rock: Don Lockwood (Kelly) is a silent movie star famous for his films with shrill-voiced Lina Lamont (Jean Hagen). Talkies seem poised to ruin them until his pal Cosmo (O’Connor) gives him the idea to do a musical with his girlfriend (Reynolds) dubbing Lina’s voice. No summary can ever capture what makes this movie such a complete joy to watch. Every song, every dance, every performance is just flawlessly executed to put a great big smile on your face. It’s one of the few movies that deserves to be called perfect.

Meet Me in St. Louis (1944): A year in the life of the Smith family in 1903 St. Louis, the year the world’s fair came to town. There are four daughters, second-eldest Esther (Garland) is on the cusp of adulthood, starry-eyed, and filled with young love for the boy next door (Tom Drake). Youngest is Tootie (Margaret O’Brien), mischievous and morbidly fascinated by death in a way only an innocent child can be. Father (Leon Ames) gets a job in New York, a move that threatens the family’s fragile innocence. Will they go?

Minimalist plot doesn’t sound like much, but it’s actually a great coming-of-age movie. Beneath its nostalgic sheen there are some darker moments that deal frankly with the loss of innocence that comes with growing up. Garland debuts “The Trolley Song” and the holiday standard “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” which she sings with a more heartbreaking style than you’re likely to hear now. “Have yourself a merry little Christmas, now...” she sings, as if you might never have another chance to. Appreciate innocence while you have it, the movie says, it can be taken away so easily.

The Band Wagon (1953): Washed up movie star Tony Hunter, (Astaire) heads to Broadway to star in a musical comedy written by his friends (Oscar Levant and Nanette Fabray), but they make the mistake of hiring a snooty director of dramas who promptly turns it into a heavy handed Faust adaptation. Tony is unsure of this, as well as the much younger ballerina (Cyd Charisse) hired to be his leading lady. The official favorite musical of people who think it’s too mainstream to pick Singin’ in the Rain. The satire of high art and low art can get heavy handed, and the movie’s ultimate assertion that Broadway musicals are meant to be light comedy is hopelessly dated in the era of Next to Normal and Spring Awakening. It’s real charms lie in the dances, from the joyful hoofing of "Shine on Your Shoes" to the simple romance of "Dancing in the Dark."

On the Town (1949): Three sailors (Kelly, Sinatra, Jules Munshin) on 24 hour leave in New York, New York (I hear it’s a wonderful town) find love and hijinks as they pursue a beauty contest winner (Vera-Ellen) across the city after one of them falls in love at first sight. Along for the ride are Betty Garret as their cab driver, and Ann Miller as a boy crazy anthropologist. Adapted from a Broadway hit, much of Leonard Bernstein’s score was replaced with original music for some reason (censors also required the lyric “New York, New York it’s a helluva town” be changed to “it’s a wonderful town.”) Fortunately, that doesn’t make it any less of a delight, with a perfect cast and great choreography celebrating the limitless possibilities of the city.

Easter Parade (1948): When his dance partner (Ann Miller) leaves him, Don Hewes (Astaire) plucks a girl out of the chorus (Garland) and sets out to make her a star. Shades of George Bernard Shaw’s Pygmalion (nobody tell Lerner and Loewe), with Peter Lawford in the Freddy role and a slew of Irving Berlin tunes along for the ride. The only movie Astaire and Garland made together, and it’s a fascinating pairing of the most carefree (onscreen anyway) musical star and the least. Astaire was rarely paired with singing stars (as opposed to dancers), and Garland was a bigger star than he was when this movie shot. As a result her character gets more solo numbers and feels more independent of Astaire’s than usual. On the flip side, Astaire does a better job at holding his own opposite Garland than most of her leading men. It’s a shame they never made another movie together as their chemistry makes the film.

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954): Mountain man Howard Keel ventures into an old west town one day looking for a wife to play housekeeper. He finds one (Powell), who falls in love at first sight and marries him dreaming of a romantic life in the wilderness. He didn’t mention they’d be living with his unruly brothers. Fortunately she manages to tame them enough to go to town for a barn raising. That’s when the trouble starts, each brother meets and falls for a girl from town. After an iconic dance-off with their fiances, the brothers end up kidnapping the women for the winter, which does not go over well.

Look, this is not as sexist as its sounds. This is not a Stockholm Syndrome thing, the narrative does not condone the kidnapping, the men are banished to the barn by Powell so nobody’s pressured to do anything, and if you look at the end of the barn raising dance you see that the women do initially to choose the brothers on their own free will, before their parents intervene. The movie ultimately comes down on the side of equal power dynamics in relationships. Anyway, the dancing in this movie is incredible. Watch it for that if nothing else.

The Harvey Girls (1946): Desperate to get out of her small town, Susan Bradley (Garland) moves west to marry her lonely-hearts pen pal. That falls through, so she gets a job as a waitress at the Harvey House, a (real) restaurant chain catering to train passengers. A lot of the town’s men don’t want the ladies there, because the chain’s strict moral standards has a reputation for civilizing wild west towns. Nevertheless, they persisted. The town is cleaned up, and the waitresses find true love. Great showcase for Garland’s comedic and dramatic skills. The movie’s slyly feminist defense of a woman’s right to see the world beyond her back yard and the boy next door, as well as its emphasis on female friendships, make up for a bland male lead and awkward third act. (A proper big final number was shot, but deleted for time so the whole thing kinda peters out.)

Lili (1953): Barely a musical, but it has one song and two dance sequences that are key to developing the characters and plot, so it counts. Recently orphaned Lili (Leslie Caron) is all alone and naïve about the ways of the world. She is charmed by a womanizing magician in a traveling carnival. After he rebuffs her affections she attempts suicide, but is stopped at the last minute by the carnival’s puppeteer, Paul (Mel Ferrer), who strikes up a conversation through his puppets. Lili’s natural interaction with the puppets attracts a crowd and she is made part of the act. Paul was once a great dancer whose career was ended by a war injury, lonely and embittered he is drawn to Lili’s soft heart but is unable to express his affection for her without his puppets. Touching story about the walls we build to protect ourselves from hurt, and the necessity of letting them down. Caron’s performance is incredible, it’s like she walked out of a fairy tale.

The Pirate (1948): Manuela (Garland) lives in a small Caribbean village and spends her days fantasizing of adventure and romance with the legendary pirate Macoco, so she’s heartbroken to learn she’s to marry the town’s boring mayor, Don Pedro. On a trip to the port to pick up her wedding dress she is spotted by traveling actor Serafin (Kelly), who falls instantly in love. She is unimpressed with his charms so he pretends to be Macoco in disguise to win her over. Mistaken identity hijinks ensue when he shows up in her hometown and realizes her boring fiance is actually the retired Macoco. This never takes off the way it should. Between the stars, the director (Minnelli), and original Cole Porter songs this should be a home run. Frustratingly, the story never comes together as well as it should, Manuela starts to feel like a supporting player in the second half which throws the whole movie off balance. Still, there are some great songs and dances, and the movie does manage to say a few interesting things about who we are versus who we pretend to be in life.

Royal Wedding (1951): Sibling song-and-dance team (Astaire and Powell) heads to England to perform in a new show against the backdrop of the upcoming wedding of Princess Elizabeth and Philip Mountbatten, Duke of Edinburgh (what ever happened to those two?) While there both of them find themselves falling in love. Her with a penniless Lord (Peter Lawford), him with a newly engaged dancer (Sarah Churchill, daughter of Winston). This is primarily for Astaire fans who get to see two of his most famous dances. One with a hat rack, proving he could dance with anything, the other where he dances on the wall and ceiling of his room thanks to some clever practical effects.

#oh look I managed to get this one up in a timely manner #classic movies for beginners

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