i love them

(x)

geniunely not trying to put words in ur mouth im geniunely asking: what do you actually like about persona 5? from all ur rants im just wondering why you didnt drop the game bc it seems (again, im not trying to put words in ur mouth) that it simply not for you? i geniunely have not felt any of the issues you bring up outside of the writing ones and i cannot tell if i'm just easily pleased and not good at discerning what a good game is or we simply have dif things we enjoy in a video game. i hate getting tone across text but im asking out of geniune curiosity im not trying to attack your opinion (;-;)

Nah, i dont feel like ur attacking me, and I hope u dont feel the same when u see my complaints! Lmao. In my defense, I am replaying the game for the first time after completing my first file back in 2020, so alot of the faults i kinda shrugged off in my first playthrough are now glaringly in my face now that I no longer have the confusion and interest in learning the main story to keep me occupied. The game is clunky all the way through, and at some times, even frustratingly so.

But despite that, i do like this game. Alot! Its probably one of my top games ever if im being honest!

This ended up way longer than I intended, so im putting it under a readmore to keep the post short on dashboards

If i had to describe what I liked about the game in the simplest way imaginable…I think I would say, I like how the game makes me feel :) I like the music. I like the vibe. I like the immersion from city to city, and I like the premise! I like the characters and I like the connections you make with these characters! As im replaying this game, i am most excited to see Akira and his comments about the world :) i like hearing everyones voices, I like their little interactions in Mementos, and I like seeing them fight!

P5 is the first game I played in the series; its the game that introduced me to SMT in the first place! And it (smt) is a series that my longtime best friend LOVES and never thought hed be able to share with me! It is a game i keep very near to my heart; it has influenced me in ways i did not think would happen in the short couple of years since i first finished it. It genuinely keeps me awake some nights thinking about the world this game has created, and I think that is a testament to the impact its had, be it good or bad.

The joke about wishing theyd make a persona game that was Good is that despite all of its numerous flaws, the games manage to snatch your attention and pull you in anyway. Imagine if they made a game that had all of those things that i mentioned I loved, but done Right and executed Properly?? Where I got to have a story that made sense and didnt need to be spoonfed to me (in like an HOUR of dialogue and scenes; an HOUR!), and characters that talked and bonded beyond the tiny snippets of interaction theyre allowed to have in mementos? Combat that let me use PERSONAS i liked instead of BUILDS that stop me from getting instakilled throughout the entirety of the endgame, and a Persona building mechanic that didnt feel like I was shooting in the dark looking for possible fusions that end up not even being useful in the endgame.

Ive mentioned it before, but I complain so much bc I have seen what a good p5 game looks like, and its Strikers almost to a T. Combat is still your typical warriors-esque style combat, but it is at least different from the turn based strategy of the main game. Characters talk to each other freely, they hang out and comfort each other in a way that feels more connected that the base game. Strikers implements the ability to see ALL possible fusions with ALL registered personas, not just the ones in your Stock, so you can fuse easily without having yo consult a guide. The story feels like it makes SENSE with antagonists that feel morally grey and sympathetic. Genuinely, alot of the complaints for p5 I had were almost immediately rectified in this game.

But please also know that the praises I sing for this game is only bc of the groundwork laid by p5 and the world it created. Thats what I like about this game, that it had such a captivating premise and cast of characters, that a DIFFERENT company was able to hit the ground running with them. P5 had alot happening in that game, but i think what it had most was potential. The effort put into this game is astronomical, and the possible connections you can outright MISS if u arent paying attention was worth the money and time to implement; even if it meant that it could be considered a waste of resources to higher ups.

Books and games and part time jobs???!! Silly little cutscenes that add nothing to the game PLOTwise, but define and flesh out the personality of your protagonist. There was alot of love put into this game, and its evident by the fact that we have NOT seen a new persona game released; they bank on existing titles bc they are unwilling to make a game like this from scratch again. They dont want to ‘waste’ resources on good voice acting and a complex, overarching story; they dont want to waste money on scenes a player may never see, on routes a player may never get to experience. Making a game that gives u even the slightest bit of freedom means more money in programming and detailing that freedom. This has been an issue for a WHILE, and its a miracle that the gaming landscape had space for a colossal title like p5!

I complain bc I want better, and I do not think that is inherently at odds with my love of this game. In b4 im told to get good; ive played on hard and tested out merciless (its NOT fun, im making godbuilds again and its boring 😞). Its not the most accessible turnbased rpg; theres no colorblind modes, and the affinity system is convoluted and overwhelming. Combo moves are hard to keep track of and it can be incredibly frustrating to see your turns being skipped or seeing characters take extreme technical damage without understanding WHY it happened. The fact that they KNEW the game was desperate for qol improvements by the time royal came out, and instead of updating the base game to have those improvements too, they just pushed the royal edition out for people to play instead. It sucks! Customers and fans deserve better than being forced to shell out money for a game they already played !

As the gaming climate gets more and more hostile and unbearable, I think it is good to look at your games critically, and understand why products come out subpar. Persona 5 is a fun game that has a nice cast and an interesting premise, but it is ultimately tied down by its refusal to build on existing building blocks regarding its combat, and it insists on having insulting and downright out of character dialogue and scenes to appease the audience its designed to be targeted to. It is easy to forget sometimes that queer ppl are infact NOT the prime target of these games, its cishet gamer bros from aged 16 to 40 who will laugh at homophobic comments, who drool over a 16 yr old girl with a 16 yr old mindset and a grown womans body, who need to be placated with constant sexual comments to deal with a convoluted story that will inevitably make zero sense until its laid out for you before the literal end of the game.

Its bad. Its good. Its so shallow and its unbelievable that they thought having the plot twist make ZERO sense until they showed CUTSCENES of YOUR character discussing Goro and his connections to the metaverse for endgame SHOCK VALUE was more important than just having your team be smart and piece it together over time. Its shit. Its literally amazing. It let you FUCK your teacher ??????????????what the FUCK. They also let me shoot a god in the face w the best looking ult persona in the world so i can ignore that shit. And ultimately that is how i got through the game. Lol.

even as a small kid i felt like i didnt belong in this world. not in qn edgy way either but genuinely in a "i was born in the wrong lifetime" sort of thing. and then as i got older i got obsessed with the idea of stories and characters and people that were fixated on suicide from the moment they were born or people who never felt like they should have been brought into society or be human. i got obsessed with stories about unconventional means of happiness and love and living. ways of living life or being happy that most people would be perplexed at, i found comfort in those sort of stories, because i felt it was the closest id ever get to feeling like i belonged.

noww not to say i DONT like living. in fact i do. i have fun & despite all the bullshit in my life i do not want to end it all or w/e. i can have fun and be happy but that does not change the fact it all feels like a lie to others. hanging out with friends and talking to family feels like an eternal game im playing, never actually connecting with anyone or anything. and thats fine, bc its still fun and i still have fun, but living life day to day feels as real and sincere as a video game. i could play games for hours, get immersed and invested in them, fall in love with those pixels on the screen and cry at the story, but theyre still made up lives inside a digital world at the end of the day. thats what my life feels like. a very very fun video game! but its all shallow anyways. idk if that really bothers me exactly. i do often times find myself yerning for that place i belong that ive dreamt of before i could even read. as an abstract concept, one with the earth, or somewhere in the atmosphere, in space, dunno. i know ill never find it in this lifetime, and thats fine, as long as i can have fun and adventurw right now. and then when i die, i hope i can find where i truly fit in, and what my soul truly was meant to be.

i could go on abt how its likely this is a big reason i project myself through media and rely on it heavily to express myself, since im not really myself in real life, dont really have a being in real life, so i can pour my base desires and wishes into a fictional world where it all makes senae to me. and i could also acknowledge that i might be a bit mentally unwell, but if i have felt this way my whole life, perhaps this is just who i am. as ive always felt, some people simply are not destined to be human or to be alive. what some people want or how thwy feel cannot be changed through reprogramming or drugs. they are "lost causes", those who want nothing more than to dedicate their lives to killing, to killing themselves, to drugs, to living in the woods, to living with wolves. their happiness and desires are unconventional and perhaps can never be changed. maybe theyre "broken", but theres a lot of them out there, and i feel a connection with them. we get one life, lets live it how we want, theres so much more outside of this constructed society. normal is weird and weird is normal. for me, ill just wait.

Hi hi! i think you said asks were open in your newest post? If not feel free to ignore this lol

I would love to see headcannons of an MC who, though acting brave, gets very scared of the brothers

example after lucifer and the grimoire and such? like MC slowly becomes MORE scared of them, and tries to hide it, but it's getting obvious that theyre scared if that makes sense lol 💖

Ahhhhh, sorry this took longer than it necessarily should have! I feel like I was much closer to what you wanted with this request than the other, so hopefully you'll enjoy it too ❤️

GN MC THAT PROGRESSIVELY FEARS THE BROTHERS

Living with demons is hard, especially when they're the rulers of hell, err, the Devildom.

Sure, there's the implication they're not supposed to hurt or do anything harmful to you, as you have the safety of being an exchange student, but that veil of ignorance was quickly lifted before even the two week mark of living with these brothers.

You've tried getting along with them, and for the most part you've been successful, but a few circumstances have arisen that have reminded you that these boys are dangerous demons... and you're the human that keeps poking the three-headed dog while it sleeps.

Mammon:

You're not so much scared of what Mammon could physically do, but you're paranoid that he goes into your room and rummages in your belongings and personal keepsakes. Your room is the only thing you have that you can claim as your own, and it's your sanctuary, despite it being in the brothers' house.

Of course, the brothers will periodically just barge in without alerting you by asking or knocking, but you've grown okay with that. You're at least in your room and able to see what they do in there. There are a few occasions Levi or Satan might mention going into your bedroom to retrieve a video game or book they had loaned you, but you make sure to put their item on the dresser by the entrance, so they don't have to venture too far in. You're okay with that.

You're not okay, however, with Mammon when he goes into your room unannounced. Hell, you're not totally comfortable with him being in your room unattended if he does give you a heads-up.

You know how kleptomaniac Mammon can be. You've heard enough complaints and stories to know how relentless Mammon can be in his search for anything that could give him a few Grimm from his brothers. You've talked with this greedy demon about items he's stolen, witnessed thefts a few times too.

So, you feel something akin to victimized when Mammon goes into your room without your permission or you being there. Your room emits this vibe of disturbance, and it bothers you because you don't know what might be missing or "borrowed". It troubles you more because now your room feels foreign again, like the atmosphere was plagued by essences that you know aren't yours. Your anxiety swells with paranoia, fear, and mistrust again.

Leviathan:

Oh, for the most part, you don't have much conflict with Levi anymore. Once you made a pact with the otaku demon he relaxed a lot more and invited you to hang out in his room to play games or fuss about animation qualities in animes or gush about his favorite manga characters.

It's just that after that contest of who was the bigger TSL fan and Levi, enveloped by jealousy and fury, came at you with the intent to seriously harm you, you've had this overly-suspicious fear in the back of your mind, itching your paranoia that it could happen again.

You've learned that Levi's demon form is easily triggered by extreme feelings, rather that's excitement, irritability, or the emotion he avatars over, and you can't help be irritationally cautious when that happens. It's a reflex from the panic that engraved itself into your psyche for self-preservation.

If you weren't so anxious about another envy-fueled incident involving your life you might find Levi's excitement for the stuff he loves more endearing and cute.

Beelzebub:

If you hadn't seen how destructive Beel's tantrums over food firsthand could be you might find it hard to believe this relaxed and mostly uninvolved brother would have such a temper... but you did experience it, so you do believe it.

It was a custard! They're so easy to get more of, but Beel immediately flew off the handle and wouldn't see reasoning, lashing out and destroying the kitchen. If Mammon hadn't pulled you down with him to the floor as Beel started his outraged tantrum you're positive you would have been collateral damage too, like your poor room that was unfortunately placed on the other side of the kitchen wall.

It was a terrifying sight to behold, seeing the kitchen torn asunder and reduced to broken walls, obliterated cabinets, and smashed counters, with kitchen utensils and ruined cookware being sent into flight and raining down, razor-sharp and shattered into broken edges that could easily pierce flesh.

That moment of destruction lingers, along with the intense emotion of fright, triggered whenever Beel complains about being hungry or when he meets your gaze at the table during times to eat. You immediately offer your unfinished plate to him, which he happily accepts and consumes in seconds, to appease the Avatar of Gluttony's temper.

Asmodeus:

Asmo's promiscuity and salaciousness are what unnerve you the most. He's the Avatar of Lust, so obviously you were already on your defense, but you've seen glimpses beyond the surface level to what Asmo can be like. That's what intrigues you about him, and you try to focus on those bits that slip past his perfectionistic lifestyle and narcissistic personality. At the same time, however, this is the cause of your near downfalls when Asmo tries to allure you with his physical prowess.

He's tried a few times to charm you, and you feel this invasive power trying to persuade you to give into your raw and sexual temptations, or this tugging sensation that tries to attract you beyond what you feel is comfortable. The repulsed response is usually what repels you from the power Asmo tries to flaunt over you.

He usually huffs after his failed attempt but quickly rebounds by placing his hands around you and trying to embrace you himself, which Mammon, prompted by his denied feelings and jealousy, usually intercepts in your honor.

There's a few times you've worried yourself nauseous Asmo will corner you, and you won't be able to save yourself from his lustful persuasion. There's also the couple of times he's mentioned eating your heart, so that's also worrisome.

Satan:

There's no questions that you secretly fear Satan, more specifically his wrath. You slighted him once before, and the threat he imposed upon you while you were trapped between his demonic form and an over-stuffed bookcase was enough to brand itself to your soul as a reminder.

As docile as Satan may appear with his affection for cats, deep interest for detective shows, and shared affinity of books he could and, possibly, would rip you apart and lavish in the blood that wept from your lacerated flesh and tension of your bones rebelling before snapping satisfactory in halves and thirds.

Other than that, Satan is much easier to hang out with compared to his brothers, except when he gets that cruel temperament to torment Lucifer, which you exempt yourself from if the pranks are too excessive.

Belphegor:

Terror has never seeped into your soul like this before. Your anxiety spikes to levels you've never experienced before when Belphie plops down next to you on the couch or tries to start up a conversation. Your fight, flight, freeze, or fawn system goes haywire, and you become petrified, unable to respond properly.

You either stay away from Belphie altogether or stay glued to one of the other brothers, Mammon or Beel preferably. Just in case.

Just in case Belphie's lament arises again in the form of murderous hate, gleeful contempt clouding his eyes, as his hands find their way to your neck that remembers the tight embrace his fingers engraved into the nerves of your throat, the ghostly suffocating that chokes you up sometimes if you become too immersed in the memory of a body that hadn't belonged to you.

You're also sure you remember an aching in your ribs and spine that causes you to shiver sometimes, but you're not sure if you experienced that in a dream or illusion of the timeline merging. It still bothers you all the same.

For such a sweet face and quiet voice, Belphie is a demon that decieves, and you're better off staying away from him until you're over your PTSD. If that's possible.

Lucifer:

How many times has he almost killed you? Twice or three times? Enough to be too many and to penetrate your core with panic and trepidation whenever you see that sly smile that forms on his lips. It doesn't have to be directed at you, but it's enough to launch you into a panic attack that you barely keep under control.

That safety guard of being a representative from the human world and exchange student mean nothing when you test it by being a busybody in affairs that definitely don't involve you over and over again, especially when it's the pride and dignity of Lucifer being tested.

You hear your lesson but never learn, and unconsciously you must be masochistic for how many times you've brushed death with Lucifer's anger, but you keep pushing the limits.

You can't help going to Mammon's defense when you feel Lucifer is only targeting him for personal reasons or standing up to his ego when you feel he's going over his limits. Your bravery is stupidity though, and you feel your courageous backbone turn into a central nerve system of adrenaline and fear. You're just too stubborn and self-righteous to let Lucifer do as he pleases, but that doesn't mean you're not scared out of your wits.

You've gained an intuition for when Lucifer is approaching or silently comes up from behind you, and it sends a shiver down your back almost every time you're alone together.

If you have any headcanons that you want me to write, please send them my way! I enjoy writing these out. NSFW is okay, but please know I might not do it if I don’t like it. ❤️

hihi so i got this random suggeation last night when i was playing mario kart (cart??) i forgt if it was k or c. anyways can i request the trouble trio w an s/o whos like a pro race car driver pls? is that what theyre called idk. also r u getting tired of writing for them? if u r, just tell me n ipl gladly request fir someone else :)

Pro Race Car Driver S/o

Feitan, Shalnark, Phinks

hihi anon :)) uhh I THINK it’s kart?? just looks more familiar but I have no clue aksdfskj I think this request is so creative !!! I’m not getting tired of writing them yet thankfully hehe they’re very fun characters to write about so that’s good, and i’m already very familiar with them (with that being said that doesn’t mean i’m not taking requests with other lesser-written characters !!) I got your second ask after this one and dw I get what you were trying to say, no miscommunication here so I hope you like these hcs and stay safe lovely <33

Feitan:

The quiet supporting one

Wouldn’t boast about your job a lot, but definitely enjoys doing it every once in a while

He’ll be in the crowd cheering you on, but won’t be the one making the most noise

And honestly it doesn’t matter if he isn’t outwardly supportive because Fei always makes sure that his presence is enough to give you the emotional support you need

Would probably learn the components of a race car so he can repair/enhance yours

You don’t even need to ask him to do it, he’s already very interested in all of it so why not learn and help you at the same time?

 And of course this should be quite obvious but he thinks your one of the coolest people in the world for going into race car driving :))

Shalnark:

Please this man is so fascinated in your occupation

It’s just such an uncommon type of job to have and like the fact that you’re so skilled at it ???

He’s astonished really

Out of the three, Shalnark is the one that’s most likely to ask you to teach him how to race and he’d be the one that actually makes it as far as to ACTUALLY START RACING WITH YOU

If you just give him a few months I absolutely believe that this man would gain enough skill to race side by side with you -- even maybe against you !!!!

But he probably won’t make it his full time job, it’s your thing and as much as he likes to spend time doing something with you that you both love, he still understands how a lifetime commitment to this isn’t as easy as you make it seem

But regardless of that fact, he will be supporting you every step of the way and may or may not get back to your opponents who defeated you in a race 

Phinks:

Regardless if your someone that tends to show off or not, Phinks sure is someone who DOES NOT STOP FLEXING

He just thinks the entire concept of race car driving is so so sick and he loves causally mentioning it when he meets someone new and seeing the interest spark in their eyes

VERY OFTEN Phinks forgets that he’s not a pro race car driver himself LOLOL 

He just gets very very immersed in the conversation and you often talk to him about your job, so he’s already very familiar with the terminology and all that

Would not miss your race for the world

Between getting a million dollars or watching you race, he’d pick watching you race

And you BET he’s the loudest one in the crowd that’s always cheering you on

Even if you don’t win, he’s still going to be cheering his head off because he’s so proud of you

there it is! kama interlude analysis by a kama fan!

WELL. LIKE IT SAYS IN THE TITLE: this is just my own thoughts!! youre free to think whatever u want !! i am just putting my own knowledge into words because i genuinely love kama, and i would like for kama’s depth to be understood by the NA fandom a little more!! i try to stay as close as possible to their character in everything i do because i believe that the more in character they are, the funnier/more interesting content ppl will produce. 

and hopefully i understood them well ???!!!! HOPEFULLY ?!

i will be screenshotting the translated reddit post under this read more and stop whenever something i find interesting to develop pops up ! or else it’ll get way too long lol if you wanna read the interlude for yourself heres the link!

with that said, let’s go!!

kama’s interlude begins with guda passing the hell out because of exhaustion and then waking up in a dream sequence where kama treats them to some relaxing adventures, stuff to take their mind off heavy things!! first dream sequence is kama roleplaying a highschool setting where they’re dating.

i like this because they openly admit that its an illusion, breaking the immersion but as long as youre okay with roleplaying, they’ll continue it LOL  at some point, caesar mentions the student council president and arjuna appears behind him 

since this is an illusion that kama made, i’ve been wondering about the fact that the way servants conduct eachother in this interlude is mostly because that’s how kama envisions they would act in a highschool setting, in an amusement park and finally with eachother (mostly for confirmed couples such as siegbryn, consort yu and her hubby etc...). suzuka and sei being gyarus is obvious, but arjuna as the student council president... is so cute???!!! i MEAN IT FITS ?! THATS A GREAT IDEA KAMA!!!! ANYWAY

this is kama’s first monologue and since they’re primarily the god of lust, all of the more vanilla stuff they mentions such as sharing a pair of headphones embarrasses them since its so tame. ITS CUTE !!! kama expects you to be horny in class !! what are you doing thinking about hand holding !!! medusa saves u from that tho with a direct reference to her relationship with kama’s vessel 

this is interesting !! and reassuring !!! i think that kama as a character has a lot of depth and just reducing them to “sakura” would be a waste and this interlude shows how different they are from her. but they’re also similar! sakura went through a lot just like medusa says and kama does have trauma related to shiva. its not the same circumstances but the same kind of suffering which explains the nuance here. and what i like about chaldea is that there’s been multiple instances where its been proven that servants can grow thanks to their relationships with guda (most common example: leveling up your bonds) BUT ALSO, saint graph evolution (alts). and as a kama fan i’d like to see them happy someday and this interlude as a whole is proof of their healing/coping because of the time they spent in chaldea and how they interact with others. more on that later ! here, they don’t recognize medusa which is normal since they’re not sakura (someone else entierly), but...

they care about her ! because of sakura’s influence being a part of the servant called Kama(assassin). the difference here is important !! but i’ll come back on this in a bit. quick mention to the greek cupid <3 kamadusa nation we were fed (i clap by myself because im the only one who has 57575757557 kama rarepairs-----)

kama is a delinquent whos horny in class but still takes a few notes, enough to do well on their tests! and thats tea<3 smart horny lazyass !! theyre a gift

SO ARJUNA WAS OUT FOR BLOOD ????? ANYWAY, this is right after the actual fight against weirdo terrorists, and im happy to know that kama DOES enjoy a good fight (as proven in their voicelines as well) but theyre not a farming unit because it’d be too much work (single target NP..)...!!!!!!! lavish god of love.... 

FINALLYYYYYYYYYYY THE REAL DEAL !!!!!!!!!!!! “it feels wonderful to be your girlfriend” christ, kamadeva was so used to being a husband and a good lover, it reflected in their servant version.... but ree what do u mean by servant version???

I MEAN THE OBVIOUS !! kama explains it very well in the screenie just above ! 

“You know very well how servants work.”

KAMA ASSASSIN (the servant in your chaldea) is neither KAMADEVA or SAKURA MATOU or MARA. they’re a MIX OF PARTS OF THE THREE. creating an entierly new person(in this case, servant) !!!! it might sound like i’m repeating myself, but this is important!!!!!!!!! i will say this multiple times so people remember it !!! and if u already had this figured out: GOOD JOB I LOVE U !!!

Kamadeva (the god) has many stories, ones where he was born from concepts (dharma and shraddha), one where his parents are brahma and sarasvati, one where his parents are vishnu and lakshmi, stories about his reincarnation after his death where his parents are krishna and rukmini, his love with Rati and so on. We all know Sakura’s backstory since this is nasuverse. And Mara is a demon, an entity that tried to corrupt Buddha and prevent him from reaching enlightenment/stray from the path. Kama assassin has parts from all of these entities which explains why they have a vague longing for Rati, why they have a soft spot for Medusa and why they have an affinity with Kiara(and also like talking about corrupting u !). 

they then mention how a japanese highschool setting is fun and all i have to say is: i’m gonna make an indo fam delinquent vs student council au out of this one folks !!!!!!!! i gotta !!! 

OK next

TIME FOR THE SECOND DREAM SEQUENCE WHICH I WAS VERY VERY VERRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY AFRAID OF BEFORE THE TRANSLATION CAME OUT.

THE PART WHERE KAMA ACTS LIKE YOUR CHILD.

well with their stage 1 it was expected but without the translation i have to say that i was scared shitless! because people hate thinking! and even if kama clearly tells you that it’s a charade, u know a JOKE. A DREAM SEQUENCE. DONT BE A CREEP. KAMA INTENDED FOR IT TO BE WHOLESOME. i know some ppl wont use their brains. but u know its fgo and degenerates are everywhere. 

anyways. family bonding time ensues until another monologue appears!!

exactly like before, kama mentions myths that belonged to kamadeva. Meaning that the Kama in our chaldea isn’t the Kamadeva we know and is not Pradyumna either but the fact that the writers chose to have kama acknowledge it is very reassuring !!! Because it means that they’ve chosen to make it a part of their (complicated) history. Kama says that Pradyumna is the myth about themself they know the least, once again proving us that the Kama in our Chaldea (Assassin) is a different entity and that they were summoned to the throne upon their death, the moment they were burned by Shiva’s flames and became Ananga, in any case they’re still familiar with all of their own myths. it allows us to keep heroic spirits separate from their original myths. Obviously! And in the case of pseudo-servants, it allows us to keep them separate from their vessels. Cuz this is a fanservice japanese game. Andddd the fandom likes forgetting this fact quite a lot i’ve noticed. As a person who loves thinking about tons and tons of headcanons for fun, this allows us a lot of space ! Because this is fate/grand order at its base. Nasuverse. 

I’m glad that the interlude explains it so clearly, it’s very good !! Because the majority of myths from every culture are confusing, family trees are confusing, names are confusing, powers and attributes are confusing... its a mess !!!! the fgo characters we know are just cut from their own respective timelines/historial figures so the writers can organize themselves more easily. Like cutting halves from a big cake. Kama (Assassin) is the Kama that died from Shiva’s flames and became the universe ONLY. In Nasuverse, Arthur Pendragon is a woman. Anastasia Romanov NEVER had a demon familiar named Viy in real life despite the creature being part of russian folklore. u know ! im russian i can testify dude !! 

hopefully everyone got this bc i wont be explaining this any further dude, its exhausting !!!!!! bangs my hands on the table !!!!! 

ANYWAYS kama mentions “eternal pain that turns [them] into ash” being their key element. Their trauma is at the center of their heroic spirit self, what they are as a servant. This suffering is tied to everything they do, why they’re so lazy, why they’re so lax, why they’re so detached from their job.  But they’re not detached from their role. And “job” and “role” have different connotations here. They refuse to work as a cupid because of obvious reasons. BUT. They’re not detached from their role as the God of Love, as the God of Passion. The embodiment of those feelings. This whole interlude is proof ! They’re giving u free therapy because they Love you. Passion. They feel your love. Passion. They acknowledge how much fun you’re having. How passionate you are about certain things. They might seem extremely detached and hateful, but they aren’t. They’re one of the most empathetic servants there is. And their ability to love everything, even the things they hate is what makes them so miserable. Because it’s a part of them. Because the concept of Kama in hinduism is linked to them. Be it lust or simply the passion born from anything you do where you’re enjoying yourself. (quote:  “ the term also refers to any sensory enjoyment, emotional attraction and aesthetic pleasure such as from arts, dance, music, painting, sculpture and nature “. R. Prasad (2008), History of Science, Philosophy and Culture in Indian Civilization )

... I’d like to say that this contrast with Mara is interesting. And that i’m glad the writers chose to add in Mara to the kama assassin Beast mix. 

Because the anger Mara feels can become a drivepoint for Kama. I’ve always believed that anger and sadness are two sides of the same coin, it’d explain how layered Kama is and how valid their emotions are. Constantly torn between love and hate. An eternal grudge (i don’t deserve to be hurt like this) and an eternal misery(maybe i do deserve to be hurt like this). 

i wish they were my roommate <3 oh fuck ree got emotional wait where were we.

OH YEAH

i think kama saying that they dislike being involved with other indian servants because theyre linked to shiva is a feeble attempt at trying to keep up a strong front because they still love them in the end. cuz that’s how kama is ! after a while they’ll get bored of bullying ganesha and ashwatthama. they’ll get interested in rama because their respective mythos are linked even if their servant selves have no connection. hell, at the end of the interlude they talk about parvati and how they themself changed and realized things. BUT OH WELL, THATS STUFF FOR ANOTHER POST HEHE thats just ree wanting kama to b happy yall move along !!

.....THIS ISNT A COLLEGE STUDENTS ROLEPLAY BUT ITS A CUTE JAPANESE COMPANY BOSS/UNDERLING SETTING AND ITS CUTE SO I THINK KAMA WEARING A PENCIL SKIRT AND POURING U ALCOHOL IS CUTE. CUTE.

further proof of kama’s overflowing affection and what i detailed above!! hopefully u all knew this one simply from reading this interlude/their profile page and dont need me to write it down for u. HOPEFULLY !!!!!

(I START BEATBOXING VERY RAPIDLY AND RUNNING TOWARDS YOU) KAMA IS A SADIST AT THEIR CORE AND I WILL NEVER STOP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they’re easy to fluster because theyre not used to being so vanilla, but whats underneath is how they truly are !! a beast turned servant, the sweetest sadist !! theyre very mature and this interlude is so well written (wipes my teears

this is directly linked to what i explained above, by burning you away, you’ll melt into nothingness just like they did. When they were the universe, they felt both everything and nothing. 

But was it really relief ... ?

... IT WASNT.

AND PARVATI SAVES THE DAY !!!!!!! phew!! thank u paru, it’d still like to be able to touch kama’s huge titties and i cant do that if i turn into ashes (falls down the stairs

ok she summoned lovey dovey canon couples to annoy kama since they’re exhausted of seein them!!

...............(I TAKE OUT A KNIFE) TAKE THAT BACK. DONT TALK TO THEM LIKE THAT. TAKE THAT BACK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

ohhhhhh im obsessed i love when theyre angry<3 i love when theyre fighty <3 i think they should beat the living shit out of a boxing bag DAILY to let out some of this steam. they’d be a monster on the ring... aaa kama in training boot y shorts aa a .. .uughg hg ouu... (you all shove me into a locker)

ok this is interesting !! i think that the interlude showing us that parvati feels a semblance of guilt is character dev. proof for what i mentioned before!! in ookuu parvati felt quite ..unsympathetic to me, even if kama is a beast who wants to annihilate humanity, when u think about it, at their core their grudge is because of her and shiva’s betrayal. and here, she properly apologizes for making kama so upset. this is heartwarming to me since i dislike thinking that members of the indo fam hate eachother :( same goes for arjuna and karna, at some point i’d like for them to act like bros normally and finally be comfy. but anyways !!

u wake up from the dreams and da vinci, mashu and paru are here to tell u whats going on. But its fine bc u remember everything and u have to go thank someone for helping u out!!!

CUTE !!!!!!! THEY CARE ABOUT U !!!!!! but whether it be because of their role or because theres a deeper meaning is entierly up to your own interpretation because...

of what they say here. 

and here !! 

ohhhhhhhhh this is so important !!!!!!

this is actual proof of kama’s growth as a servant and how servants evolve in chaldea !! chaldea is not the same as a grail war, its a special, cut-off place and thats what makes it even more relaxing to think about. Everytime u summon a servant in ur chaldea u give them a chance to have fun with you, to have fun with other servants, to make amends, to start from scratch, to discover things they would’ve never known in their time (movies, video games, tons of different foods etc...), u give them a chance to relax. to grow !! this is the headcanon that im most attached to and im glad to see it be confirmed in the interlude of a character i love tbqh i had to stop and talk about that.

everyone say thank u kama !! can we roleplay a college roommate coffee shop slowburn au next time <3 

ANYWAYS if you’ve read it this far: thank you !!! im sorry if you expected something very serious, im not that type of person hehe im jus here to have fun and look at things i like, and the interlude itself was quite lighthearted and refreshing. By talking about the myths and all of kamadeva’s stories, the writers basically gave lore nerds a huge thumbs up like... “its ok now !! u can go ape now !! go be insane<3 love u<3″ and all of this kama characterization GENUINELY makes me so happy because i think they really needed that. kama assassin... (i blow a kiss to the sky) is a little mess of a servant... a god, human crumbs and a demon... a total mess... im in love with them...

..............tho now the wait for a summer alt where they interact with the entire indo fam begins (im sitting in a chair unmoving)(i have a gun in case minase begins acting gross

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23

More homestuuuuuck

I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.

oh, always

(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)

> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit

cuuute

In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.

another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy

(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)

KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.

Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.

KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.

oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping

> ==>

DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor

Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~

well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all

DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said

Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent

DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose

exactly

DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that

yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias

DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing

perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it

ah this’ll do:

its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form

[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean

Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point

DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about

Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.

DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.

Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.

DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely

--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged

do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot

KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.

That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)

> ==>

OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE

DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from

indisputably.

DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror

I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.

I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.

DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there

Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.

DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him

Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.

KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.

That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do

DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this

Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(

I guess it had to be discussed, though.

DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die

Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.

Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T

> ==>

Dishwasher ding

> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.

Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*

Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.

> ==>

okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging

> ==>

*put*

> ==>

*foot*

> ==>

DAVE: ok go on

I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery

> ==>

That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it

KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.

True

KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.

Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation

KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.

D’AWWW

And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT

I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.

...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.

KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.

Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3

KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.

KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.

Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.

KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.

Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)

> ==>

Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.

He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.

Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.

EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.

> ==>

Smooooch!

That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!

just my ‘underwater’ thoughts

like I do not know where to begin this fic is 35k of absolute goodness GOD this is one hell of a literary masterpiece...like?!?? it’s engaging in every aspect, the language/tone is absolutely impeccable - there’s this perfect balance between gorgeous and not overwhelming description but maintains a wittiness to it?? which is v central to the reader, or rin’s, personality. i just adore this fic so much like words could really not do it any justice lmao but I will try and condense all my favourite parts into this post <3

chapter 1

“But I can pass for 18, right?”

“No,” he turns to look at the vendors. “You look exactly your age.”

10/10 for smooth flirting, absolutely incredible work ushijima 🙏🏼 AHAHAAHHAAHAHA

MY FAVOURITE OF THE EMAIL CORRESPONDENCES NO JOKE THIS ONE MADE ME LAUGH SO HARD...honestly if I was a journalist in japan I would be exactly the same lmao like  LOOK AT WHAT I ATE TODAY!!!!! IT WAS GREAT!!

THEFRICKFIJF SENDAI STORY WAS THE HIGHLIGHT FOR ME ALRIGHT LIKE WHOOOOOOOPIEEEEE I LOVE A GOOD CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART STORY AND THE WAY THIS ONE WAS DONE WAS PHENOMENAL... HOW THIS STORY BECOMES SUUUCH A THEME THROUGHOUT THE FIC TOO I CANNOT I CANT I JUST CANT DEAL ok

chapter 2

the morning jog is hands down one of my favourite scenes in this entire story...it was just so frickin cute when he stopped at the bridge aisheieusishwi also the sharing of the earbuds AAAAHHHHH GOD that was just. perfect

“You may not be able to keep up.” I LOVE THIS LINE ITS MAYBE ONE OF MY FAVE LINES HE SAYS HEGEHEHE

Sun’s up.

It hits only half of his face as he wears a smile that looks like it’s divorced somewhere between hope and relief.

LISTEN THIS LINE IS SHEER LITERARY EXCELLENCE...the way you can use the visual description of the sun but simultaneously reflect it as something much deeper n emotional?!?!? WOW

“Why didn’t you say anything at dinner?”

“You seemed like you had somewhere to be,” he says.

GODODUEIDHDIDHDUDJDHSJS ITS SO SIMPLE BUT THIS PART AFFECTED ME SOOO MUCH AHAHAAHAHAHAH FRIFK ONLY TWO CHAPTERS IN AND I WAS SIMPING SO HARD FOR THESE TWO SJSJSJSKSJ

“Nah, he’s a model athlete—perfect record, perfect references, perfect everything. His only crime is his grades were abysmal, but does that even matter when you’re a professional athlete?”

ok true but also this part cracked me up coz I’m just thinking about that panel where ushijima and kageyama are like ?!?!?! hinata is on the other side of the earth??? training how to hang on???? LMAOSAOOA DUMBASSES

"I'm happy we met again," he says, looking very solemn, as if he's reading a sermon at a funeral.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH I LAUGHED SO HARD YOU HAVE NO IDEA I ACTUALLY HAD TO PUT DOWN MY PHONE FOR A SECOND BC THIS WAS JUST WAY TOO ACCURATE

chapter 3

He doesn’t listen to music, doesn’t speak unless spoken to first, and doesn’t budge a muscle even as the train goes 300 kilometers an hour across the track. Inside these walls, the world looks slow, but his face is unchanging—nothing could faze him, not even the world hurtling forth at—ah, that’s not quite right. You’ll have to fuss with that line later.

this part will forever stick with me like wow the tone of this fic was just SUPER unique, I mentioned this in my rant post but I just wanted to bring it up again bc I just adoooreeee the tone here. the whole premise of this fic is that ur a journalist, writing an article about ushijima — and I just love how reader’s POV genuinely feels like her thoughts? the last part “ah, that’s not quite right. You’ll have to fuss with that line later” it JUST MAKES YOU REALLY FEEL LIKE YOURE RIN/READER LIKE IT REALLY IS SOO IMMERSIVE. from this point I was just completely submerged in their world. it’s probably bc that exact line is my thought process 99% of the day, so yeah!!! it hit home HAHA. but i love the tone of it all yeah it’s so fitting for the story :)

You ask him a question--he throws it right back at you. It gives the same impression as playing a very exhausting game of tennis, in which the volleys never end because the questions never end.

FRICK this is brilliant as well I just love the way you compare things...they’re always so apt and relevant ahhhh 😭😭😭😭😭

okay but the whole sequence with Ushijima’s mother WOOOOOOW I felt like I kNOW her. have you seen Crazy Rich Asians??? the Eleanor energy she exudes with her expensive jewellery and pressed pantsuits AHHHH. I love that they developed this sort of mutual respect for each other though, always made me so happy!! I reckon that would’ve just oooft made wakatoshi so much more in love w rin lmao. his mother would def be a tough mother-in-law but rin has the mental strength and also the discernment to deal with it well :D

THENFIRICIFJFJFIRND THE YUKATA AAAAAHHH I SCREAMED I HAD TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM THROWING MYSELF INTO THE SKY LMAO. do u know how BADLY I want a yukata...i went to Japan three years ago and when I saw all the girls in their yukatas (mostly tourists haha) I just. UGH I wanted that so bad HAHAHAHA

chapter 4

“It’s hideous,” you say. “The fabric’s cheap, design’s trashy—I don’t think it’s more than $20.”

HAHAHAHAHAAH OHHH MAN!!! plausible deniability my ass....also CAN I JST SAY I LOVE GORO SO MUCH OMG

...only realizing then that this is what your morning routine would look like if you and him—‘ah, shit, this is exactly why Goro was worried’

yooooo genuinely this line might have actually had the strongest emotional impact on me bc I felt so NERVOUS hnnngh. my stomach did that weird flutter ?!!! I also had that OH FRICK moment along with rin so yeah op you did ur job 😖

“Contrary to popular belief, I’m pretty good in water."

He blinks, “Why would that be contrary to popular belief?”

“Because—” You look at your twiggy little arms and sigh. No use in dissecting a joke when all the humor is lost upon release. “Never mind. I was just joking.”

He pauses. Nods a little. “What was the joke?"

OMFHHAGAAHAHAHAHAH I CRIED LAUGHING SO MUCH OVER THIS EXCHANGE GOD HE IS SO ENDEARING LMAO BUT RLLY SUCH A BLOCKHEAD SOMETIMES

Ushijima is right. All the world could burn and Murata would stay the same. Grandpa and grandma look exactly how they did the last you saw them—dragging you across the finish line at the train station to say goodbye. It’s hard to believe they’re still playing the same game of shogi with one another, even 15 years later.

ok I keep changing my mind over what my favourite lines are bc THIS made me OH WOW out loud. it made me feel sooo nostalgic!!!! SO NATSUKASHII!!! i don’t know if that’s the right word but I instantly felt at home reading that, it just. THAT RUSH OF COMFORT

“He’s the one I told you about! The one who found me in Sendai.” You practically burst, having held onto this secret for so long while waiting for them to finish their assessment of him. “Grandpa said I probably made it all up because I was bored.”

ok this ENTIRE exchange was just sO CUTE!!!! SO ENDEARING!!!! the whole thing about grandpa not believing her, rin remembering the bet, ITS SO ADORABLE I LOVE THEIR DYNAMICS SIHDISEIISSJ

He studies your outfit—a full-body wetsuit, a pair of goggles on your head, along with a pair of flippers in your hands. “I thought when you said fishing, you meant with a pole,” he goes on...

ok maybe I was just sleep deprived but I FOUND THIS HILARIOUS WHEN I READ IT LMAO IT JSUT READ LIKE SOMETHING OUT OF A COMEDY AHAHAAH. just the whole “gonna go fishing, wanna come?” and him being like “ok” but then the scene just cuts to you, decked out in serious scuba gear, head-to-toe, w ushi just standing there like WTH. IT JSUT MAFE ME LAUGHHHHH

chapter 5

“Or the red thread of marriage,” grandma tacks on.

You resist the urge to bury your face in your half-eaten bowl of rice, “Grandma, please.”

HAHHAHAHAHA YES GRANDMA YES!!!! but seriously this just reminds me of the grandma from mulan- “WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER”

There’s a shadow on dad’s face that’s stemming from the last bastion of sunlight against your back.

another absolutely piece of description right here, and the tone of this fit perfectly with the sobriety of this scene. aghhh this scene hurts so much especially the part “because you were a child, because you didn’t know any better” yeahhhhh ahaa that hit close to home aye

He catches sight of you and immediately turns red.

*clutches heart* HOOO ALEXA PLAY HELPLESS BY PHILIPPA SOO

if any of you, ANY OF YOU, mention thE KiSs to me I will not hesitate to lose all my inhibitions!!!!! DO NOT TALK TO ME ABOUT IT!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭 frickfjeidjdirkfjfjdififj I was such a wreck LORD. also the fireworks thing about seeing it twice like what the hell how is this so goRGEOUS!!!! I want to have a countryside childhood with beautiful places and experiences like this HAHSSJJSSJ

chapter 6

You hop into the space where the doorway should be, “Okaeri nasai.”

He shields his face and blushes.

"Tadaima."

THEYRE. SO. CUTE. STOP. IT!!!!!!!!!! STOP

chapter 7

You don’t have to speak to him,” he'd said—and gee, that’s a strange thing to say about an old friend.

the way I cried laughing lmao you will never know 😂😂😂😭😭😭

TENDOU TENDOU TENDOU TENDOU TENDOU

the whole sequence of him not hearing you BAGSHAHAHA IT WAS SO WEIRDLY IN CHARACTER I CANT I LAUGHED SO HARD I WANT THIS ANIMATED FR 😭😭😭😭

The match starts and you get an essay from Tendo -- even though you specifically asked for the SparkNotes version of the story...

AHSHSKHESISHWISHWJSUSJ I LOVE THIS ITS SO FUNNY ITS SO ACCURATE LIKE IS IT EVEN POSSIBLE FOR TENDOU TO GIVE A SHORT ANSWER LMAOOOO (but I rlly love him he’s so. I love him. he can talk to me all day I would listen to every word 🥺)

Tendo doesn’t budge, that smile sitting pretty on his face, “Meh. Either way, you pressured her—and that’s a pretty shitty thing to do, right?"

Not all men—yes, you’re right, Satori Tendou would NEVER—

Then he peels off his jersey, pulling it over his head until he’s standing half-naked before you. Completely chiseled. Cut like a fucking statue.

“It’s sweaty. Sorry.” He puts it in your hands, taking care to make sure you’re holding it before turning around and leaving.

UNBELIEVABLE. UNBELIEVABLE THE ABSOLUTE AUDACITY OF THIS MAN HOW DARE HE !!!!! HOW DARE HE!!!!!!!!! i choked here like what thefrifiidke

“I…like you.” He meets your gaze. “But it seems like you don’t want me to.”

HI IM CRYING HAAHAHAHAHA BUT COZ SAD NOT HAPPY 😭😭😭😭 + OMG WAKE UP USHIJIMA

There’s something of relief there, but you recognize that look because he’s seeing you like you’re an absolute reprieve from an otherwise painful world filled with unpredictability and chaos.

oh wow....MAAAN I WOULD DIE TO BE LOOKED AT LIKE THIS CMON 😭😭❤️❤️ this is peak romance writing by the way. “absolute reprieve from an otherwise painful world” AAHHHHHHH PLEASE THATS JUST. THATS WHAT I WANT PLS

chapter 8

They say an apartment is supposed to tell a story, but the only story you see is he lives simply, like a monk from the northern temples.

‘Or like a farmer from Murata,’ you muse, leaning in to press a chaste little kiss to his lips.

SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! sOOO gorgeously written kwjdksieisjs. the farmer from murata part made my heart go all warm and soft...like ohhh what could’ve been haha 😭❤️🥺

It’s your turn to pause this time, “…what do you think an IUD is, Wakatoshi-kun?”

LANSUAISHAIAHAIAJSOAJSJAJSNAOAJAOAKJDJSKSMSOSSI AUHAHAHAHAHAUAH THIS IS SO FUNNY WAIT NO I THINK THIBS ISS MY FAVOURITE LINE NONJOKE AUAHAHAHAHAHA

ahhhh FRICK grandpa :(( that made me sad ouchie it’s kinda one of my biggest fears too sonsjsjsjsj and I love him ... but I’m glad he is ok 😭

oh man rin’s mum...woooo that hurt so bad to read oh god. the guilt that would burden you with man I felt that...I felt that coming through from the fic and it just reached out and crushed my heart. agghh geez the pain :(

chapter 9 (the end *cries*)

WOWOWOWWO THE WAY THIS TIES IN WITH CANON OHMYGOD!!!!! I got way too excited over this BAHAHAHA but when iwaizumi walked in man my heart stopped that MAN. but also wakatoshi’s dad being a great wingman :’)

Staring at Ushijima like he’s at his wit’s end before it melts into something smarmy and coy like he's figured out the key to some all-powerful puzzle in the dunes of Egypt.

AHAHAHAAHAHAH THIS IS SO FUNNY AND ACCURATE LMAO. this frickin description is so on point iwaizumi just HAS THAT FACE

“Nice to meet ya too,” he says, grinning. “Man, wait ‘til Oikawa gets a load of this.”

“Who’s Oikawa?”

Ushijima frowns, “No one.”

iwaizumi says 1 thing in this fic and he is already so charming to me BAHAHAHAHAH. ALSO LMAO THE OIKAWA REFERENCE ushijima is like “that is a can of worms we will NOT be opening today”

He looks concerned, but his cheeks are being stretched like mochi so it's a pretty hilarious sight to witness.

CUTECUTECUTECUTECUTECUTE!!!!!!

I genuinely will never get over how good this ending is holy FRICK the airport scene had all my nerves on total edge, my heart RACING—

You clear your throat, hoping to break that reverie of his, "Wakatoshi-kun, how do you--"

He pulls you in and presses a kiss to your cheek.

I SCREAMED I SCREAMED SOOO HARD FROCKKRFIFKKFFIEIDJDIDDI I JUST I CANT IO BF KFONE THIS WAS SO ROMANTIC IMAGINE HIS SOFT EYES ON YOU LIKE UTTERLY TRANSFIXED AND UR TRYING TO BE PROFESSIONAL ON CAMERA EVEN THO UR HEART IS SOARING AND THEN HE KISSES YOU LIKE THAT ON LIVE TV EIDHDKDJDOSJDJEODJEOEIEOEJSJEIEIE THE NOISE I MADE THE NOISE I TELL YOU

the 5 months later scene. I can’t even pick out the lines for this part all of it is perfect and I couldn’t have thought of a better ending it’s so. the house...ushijima happy...rin happy...me....in love and in a puddle of tears in my room, at 3am :’) we r all happy!!!!! LMAO

in conclusion: @wander-lu5t I am indebted to you forever for this fic. it was so beautiful and I am so so so grateful I got to read it. you are such an incredibly gifted story-teller and your grasp of the words!!!!!!! THE WAY YOU PUT WORDS TOGETHER!!!! ugh I absolutely adore you thank you so much 😭😭

Coming in with asks now that I’m properly awake! You don’t deserve any of what’s happening to you right now at ALL and I hope you’re able to find some peace and a rejuvenated fire soon 💛 OK HERE WE GO: What part of Venomvale are you proudest of so far? Any memories of how Pride was celebrated in the Pokémon world? Favourite poison-type move? Favourite Orange Islands gym leader? What was the name of your original PMD team? How would you compare May and Dawn’s appeal styles?

DEAN I LOVE YOU... DEAN I MISS YOU.... DEAN UR THE BEST...

What part of Venomvale are you proudest of so far? 

the meltdown site on the northeastern part of the island!

there aren’t a lot of buildings in NH yet so i really struggled with how to properly convey what it was but i think i did an okay job!!! the oil barrels in this game are the best thing nintendo ever did for me and i put a single tree beside the pond to drive home that no nature really survived the radiation as you near the epicenter. honestly venomvale’s backstory is something i’m very proud of and watching it come to life has been rad.

Any memories of how Pride was celebrated in the Pokémon world? 

oh man i know i’ve answered this before but i cant!!! find it fghfd. basically, every major city in every region went apeshit, but the BEST of all was slateport pride because of a very beautiful aligning of the planets: the hoenn grand festival takes place mid-june in slateport. you’re more or less not allowed to be straight if you’re a coordinator. this means all the gayest fucking trainers are in slateport right as pride is ramping up, and all of them are on a high from the festival happening. all this said, slateport pride goes HARD AS FUCK. slateport’s also already just like... a historically gay town. slateport’s the san fran/seattle of pokemon. the people there go harder than anywhere else.

also, every few years, ho-oh will fly over a parade of its choosing. as the rainbow pokemon, it frequently appears to bless pride. where is random. when is random. but its not unheard of to see ho-oh, and if you do its bragging rights forever.

Favourite poison-type move? 

baneful bunker mfdhgdhdf

Favourite Orange Islands gym leader? 

god theyre all so forgettable xD but luana is cutest, so

What was the name of your original PMD team? 

team inu-tachi! that was the fan name for inuyasha’s squad so that’s what i named my team, a blaziken named inuyasha & a meganium named kagome. all the pokemon they recruited were also named after inuyasha characters, which was really fun cause i got to think hard about which character i thought each pokemon resembled x3 i’d do a lot of one-off villains or characters of the day!

How would you compare May and Dawn’s appeal styles?

oooh thats a very good question. admittedly, it’s been a long while since i’ve actually paid attention to dawn in a sinnoh contest because jessilina’s usually stealing all my attention. 

i'd say that them being in different kinds of contests means there’s going to be a big difference by nature--super contests and contests are pretty different. super contests have a lot more gimmick to them (ball capsules/seals, costumes, the like) and are overall more about flashiness and glitter, something dawn excels at! dawn is very good at aesthetic enhancements and putting on a show thats pretty to look at, which is probably why she has such an eye for fashion design later on. she’s really good at throwing a look together!

may’s more about, like... the performance itself? unexpected combinations, and appeals the audience can get involved in. she uses a lot of moves that rely on chance (like munchlax’s metronome, and skitty’s assist) which take major risks but engage the audience and leave anticipation that can often pay off. even when they’re planned, they’re immersive--there was one appeal that was... i think solar beam then focus punch with munchlax, and she basically had it strike the beam so that the blast exploded at a certain frequency that literally, like... rang across the whole stadium and produced this tambor as if a triangle had been struck. she plays to senses other than sight.

i worry that i make it sound like may has more ~depth~ as a coordinator but really may’s tactics are unheard of! you are much more likely to see a coordinator like dawn who considers what move combinations will look the nicest/better show off a pokemon’s strength. i talk a lot about how harley & jessie are considered avant-garde as coordinators but i rarely talk about how may’s kinda weaseling her way into that category too xD

ironically, dawn is more about... well, coordination. right there in the name. dawn knows how to complement herself and her pokemon. may is much more about performance. she wants everyone in the building to feel like they’re a part of a show, sometimes including herself!

Classic thoughts so far:

Way too many people to make questing a genuinely fun experience since everything is always dead and theres no loot/experience sharing. but in between everything I’ve found questing to be the most fun and relaxing part of vanilla thus far. Its way more grindy than it is now, which has its downsides (boring… drop rate is frustrating…) but also kind of fun and really inspires grouping up with randoms, even if just for 10 minutes to share the kill credit on whatever quest.

Old orgrimmar is literally better than I remember it. I love it, it’s easier to navigate then new orgrimmar, thrall is awesome (i forgot how much i genuinely loved the hidden enemies quest line and the text for it which probably sounds weird but i have vivid memories about it), the city feels lived in and real, like a much more worthy parallel to Stormwind despite its smaller size. My first character was an undead, so taking the zeppelin from brill, arriving outside orgrimmar, walking through the gates – that whole experience was really nice to relive after over a decade considering the first time I did that is a special memory to me

Old undead char opening monologue is v good and the current writers on the retail team need it tattooed in their eyelids for what theyre doing to sylvanas. classic is one big reminder to the fuck you the lore has become, even if gameplay has arguably largely improved

I knew a lot of shit – arrows, no hunter pet till level 10, weapon skills, being too broke to buy your class spells etc. – were waiting for me but there’s always another “oh ja kennis” moment and its really fun to re-explore everything I loved about classes back in the day, even if mana management is a pain in my ass and two spells into casting my mage is oom. I especially love that I have to read the quests again and how much more immersive the game is when there’s no icons on your map or blue areas marked for you. I think I read more quests than the average person and try to turn off icons on maps etc but the difference was v noticeable in a good way.

Professions are relevant again – this is prolly largely due to low level influx of players since no one is 60 yet, but the fact that I can make dresses and have them be useful long term and have the stats be meaningful is really… pure. It’s a pure experience and I enjoy being tailoring/enchanting; it doesn’t feel like a requirement to grind out useless shit until I can sell bags; I am using the shit I make, and if I don’t use it I know others will have use for it. Two out of three in my party are clothies also so the usefulness is exponential and It feels nice

Conjuring water/food and not being able to get rank 2 but having the rank 1 shit be useless, and then finally getting rank 2, costs half my damn mana to conjure water and I ONLY GET 2 WATER… boooooyyyyyy fuck you.

I forgot resisting spells was a thing mobs do and let me tell you I do not care for that shit

A lot of quality of life shit I miss (e.g. reagents, or just having a quest list right on my screen, even just “talk to dick mcdickerson” would be useful) but there’s something really charming about the barebones necessity shit of a lot of gameplay and UI. It might just be novelty, we will see if it wears off over time

i am embarrassed by the amount of fucking initialism i remember as i see it pass in trade. teen me was a loser and should be made fun of with the utmost prejudice for crystallizing this knowledge so good my adult ass still knows

People jerk off too much in the general chat of whatever place. Its nice to see the community alive again but they wont shut the fuck up and its all circlejerking abt who has the most vanilla knowledge vs “the loosers” that started in wotlk or after, and theres too much back-patting themselves for “being social again” bc general and trade chat isn’t dead anymore. Look, barrens chat was nice, but there was a reason it’s a meme and I sure as fuck don’t want durotar, or teldrassil, or fucking tirisfal glades to be full of non-stop shit in general chat. Every so often there will be a period of time where its really nice and just people grouping up, asking for and then receiving help, its really nice and talking about how fun it is, and then after those 15 min the Men come back and its all a circlejerk again abt whatever they can think of. haha mankriks wife jokes. haha mounts at 40. haha weapons trainer in UC for daggers, cant do it in org... shut the fuck up. we all remember - or are re-remembering - all this shit as we go. i do not need some dude with a stick up his ass who reread vanilla vs retail differences lists to give live-commentary on my rediscovery of a beloved childhood videogame.

this is an ask based thingy but im really in the mood to infodump so im just gonna answer them all under the cut !

Favorite video game?

starting off with the absolute hardest question huh? i can’t possibly name ONE favorite game of mine because i adore my favorites for many different reasons. my overall favorite video game is ffxv or botw. ffxv because it has brought me so much joy for such a long time, and because i have such a connection with the characters. botw because i was actually in the fandom when it first got announced in 2016 so i got to be there when the hype was at an all time high– and finally being able to play the game after waiting for so long was an unforgettable experience. i have more favorite games but ill talk more about them in the ‘’special place in ur heart’’ question.

First console you owned?

my first console wasn’t a console. my friend and i used to play on her nintendo dsi all the time and at one point tiny little me reeeally wanted one of my own so i saved up and got one in [redacted] when i was 7. my first actual console was a wii though, we got that around the same time.

A game that holds a special place in your heart?

ffxv and botw mean the absolute world to me, but super mario galaxy and skyward sword are very important to me too. skyward sword is the game that got me into zelda which got me into anime which got me into final fantasy etc etc etc.  super mario galaxy was the first non-mini game collection and more adventure story-ish game i played. i was so proud when i beat it for the first time and mario was my first ever ‘’fandom’’ :’) 

Favorite video game character?

bro. i cant pick just one so i’ll choose one per game : prompto, ryuji and link. they were all my comfort characters at some point and i projected like crazy onto them. this doesnt mean that i wouldnt absolutely die for noct or zelda. 

Least favorite video game character?

i dont think theres anyone i distinctly dislike? i always talk about hating ardyn but that’s because he’s just a salty bitch. as a character i think he’s a great villain and i rly love him. i honestly always end up liking everyone somehow, maybe there is someone i just forgot about but i cant remember at all. 

Favorite genre?

adventure games, or action rpgs. 

Video game character you’ve had a crush on?

every character ever, but i distinctly remember the moment i fell in love with prompto sjghfkshd i was watching a playthrough of xv in december 2016 because i didnt have a ps4, and the guy got to the scene in galdin quay where the bros learn insomnia fell. i had watched about 6 hours of the game by that time and wasn’t particularly interested in the characters but not uninterested enough to drop it. i hadnt even gotten a good look at the characters faces yet, so when the camera zoomed in on prompto when he said ‘’might not be save for us here!’’ i noticed he had freckles. oh god. oh fuck. oh my god hes fucking cute. oh my god better watch 30 hours of this game now

First video game you remember playing?

wayyy before i got my own gaming systems, my then-best friend had a gamecube in her attic. i was around 5 or 6 at the time. whenever i was over at her house and we didnt know what to do, she’d sometimes propose to play ‘’mario kart’’. important is that we are dutch, and i was a literal child. i thought mario KART meant it was a fucking card game, so i always declined whenever she asked. on one fateful day, i finally gave in and was pleasantly surprised it was in fact not a card game, but a viddy game. so we played mario kart double dash. (…i had never played a video game in my life besides browser flash games and was Very Very bad)

Age you started gaming?

so i played my first video game that i didnt own when i was about 5 or 6. then i got my first supply of games at age 7/8, but i dont really consider that time to be when i started ‘’gaming’’. i’d say that was when i started mario galaxy, so i’ve been playing video games for real (ie. story adventure games with boss battles) for about 6 years now.

Hardest video game you’ve played?

this is gonna sound stupid, but the witcher 3. there’s like 7 difficulties and i played on the EASIEST and still had a hard time, i just couldnt get used to the combat. i had the same problem with assassin’s creed syndicate, but after about 10 hours i actually knew what i was doing, and ive played the witcher longer than that and still am clueless. this is kind of an unpopular opinion but i dont particularly like that game

Video game you’ve spent the most time on?

i guess i am what you’d call a casual gamer; i really like video games but during a normal school week i only game for like 2-6 hours. most of the time i dont play for like 2 weeks if im busy. gaming has kind of taken over my life not because i play so much but because i get so emotionally invested lol i’m currently on summer break and even now im not playing a lot because of exhaustion and executive dysfunction. this derailed slightly but the game i’ve played the most despite my casual gamer status is …. … …. ffxv. surprise, right? the runner up is botw, but xv wins by a landslide. 630+ hours. botw is 350. my main save in ffxv is almost 200 hours i think. damn. i really managed to keep myself entertained with that game… (………i was thinking recently, since the loading screens in xv are so long, how much of this total amount was spent watching screens. i imagine it’s several hours, especially if you fast travel a lot.)

Most embarrassing gaming moment?

many moments in my gaming experience are embarrassing, but a more recent one: i was in xv’s postgame, beating some dungeons on my new save file. i had just finished daurell caverns and hadn’t saved in about 2 hours. (uh oh) i was driving around in the regalia type d and got to the big cliff near lestallum, and remembered someone made a gif of jumping in there so i wanted to try it too. i imagined the game would just put me back on the road, like it does when you crash into something. except it didnt. i got a game over. where was my last save? 2 hours back all the way in hammerhead. yippee.

Scariest video game you’ve played?

i never play horror games, cuz for me games are supposed to be relaxing experiences. no hate towards horror games of course, they just stress me out. the only time ive played horror is when friday the 13th was for free on ps+, and my friends really wanted to play it. (theyre kinda addicted to it now. huh) they had already gotten over the initial fear of having jason chase you, but i was still terrified. i can play the game without getting scared now tho. the horror sound effects just rly freaked me out at first jhsdkghsd

Most memorable gaming moment?

playing breath of the wild for the first time, or beating it for the first time. both experiences were filled to the brim with excitement and nostalgia. seeing botw as a blank slate, a world for you to explore, having no idea where you’re going… that was pretty incredible. now i know every nook and cranny of the map, so i wish i could play it for the first time again. i was so incredibly immersed. beating it was insane. i cried for 30 minutes and the end wasnt even sad, i was just so amazed at the fact that i was really here, playing breath of the wild, it was really real. the fucking main theme in the background (which i cannot for the life of me listen to without crying) didnt help with my emotions sgkdjh

Video game character you wish you could meet in real life?

…………..its prompto again. maybe 2017 me …. was .. kind of a kinnie

PC, Xbox, Playstation, or Nintendo?

i dont care about console wars at all, but i think hardware-wise, pc is the best, because if you have a good pc you can basically do anything. i however do not, so i just play on consoles. ive never particularly liked xbox, so i only play ps4 and nintendo. not the switch though. its kinda petty, but my best friend and i really dont like the switch djghks

Gaming company you’re most loyal to?

none. i used to call myself a nintendo nerd (oh my god…. i m. gonna die) in like 2015 but since the switch came out and since i got a ps4 they kinda lost me. i still like their game series of course, but as a company i don’t care for them. the only reason i see square enix as one of ‘’my’’ gaming companies is because ffxv took up like 70% of my gaming experience, but besides final fantasy i don’t really love them too much either.

If you could only play one video game for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

atm i’m really into ffxiv because theres just so much to do, but that’s just a new, possibly temporary interest. if i had to choose, i’d say botw. maybe i’d say ffxv, but i feel like running around doing nothing in that game isnt very fun, because the world is sorta empty after completing every quest and getting to level 120. in botw, just fucking around on your horse is still really relaxing and nice. 

Do you use strategy guides?

yup. in certain games i try to avoid them but i usually end up stuck or in need of advice. i couldn’t have gotten so many p5 trophies if not for the internet lol

How often do you use cheats?

never, simply because the games i play often do not have cheats. unless im playing the sims and are in need of a motherlode, i dont use them.

Competitive or single player?

single player. im bad at video games and like to do stuff at my own pace. online multiplayer can be fun every now and then in games like mario kart 8 or splatoon, and i also like teamwork stuff like ffxiv or comrades. but ultimately, i prefer playing on my own.

Video game character you want to/have cosplayed?

have never cosplayed, dont have plans to either, but it would be fun to cosplay link. omg. i just remembered i have that fucking chocomoogle shirt… sorry link im gonna slap on some sasuke hair, black jeans and ugly sneakers 

Ever go to a video game convention?

i have not, i have however gone to three (3) video game concerts which is basically the same thing. 

Hardest boss fight you’ve been in?

the hardest bosses for me are usually the ones with a gimmick. you have to use a certain item or tactic to beat them or something. other hard fights for me are when you fight someone with a similar skill set. (in ffxv, this happens twice, once with the iggy-noct sparring match and once against ardyn. somehow, the final boss was easier than getting the prince to eat vegetables.) i don’t know an actual example of THE hardest boss fight ive been in though. at the time, the first bowser battle in mario galaxy was the hardest thing in the universe and i got stuck for like a month. currently, i’m having trouble with the riku-ansem fight in kh1. 

Video game you wish you could burn from your memory?

the zelda cdi games? no, i dont really know. i dont hate a game so much that i’d want to forget about it altogether, but i dont exactly love ocarina of time that much. it hasnt aged well and playing it on the gamecube for the first time in 2015 wasnt a good idea. im sure it was revolutionary at the time, but i cant handle the outdated controls gsdgksjs 

Favorite gaming series?

see, i love ffxv itself more than the entirety of the zelda series, but i dont love ff as a SERIES more than the zelda games. so if were talking series, zelda for sure. i fucking love those games and they mean a lot to me. 

Do you skip tutorials, or find them useful?

i often skip them because i cant pay attention, but then find that i need them anyway. so i usually do skim through them. 

Best online gaming experience?

one really good one happened a few days ago in ffxiv, some guy and i exchanged emotes for like 30 minutes and it ended with us becoming friends on psn :’) ppl dont usually emote back at me in that game so this was really wholesome and nice gjshksdj 

Worst online gaming experience?

i dont really have a worst? theyre more annoying. think try harders in gta online killing you 15 times in a row because they want to show you how good they are or something. magically, online gaming hasnt been too hard on me (mainly because i dont game online that much)

Why do you game?

it brings me joy. it’s a fun way of relaxing, while being stimulated at the same time. games have meant a great deal to me the past 6 years and i wouldnt want to lose them for the world.

My Top Romance Anime

I made a new set of list of my fave romance anime series since I guess i deleted my post accidentally w/c i always update ( i dont wanna talk about it i'm still in shock lol) so here it is i made it as simple as possible, no long description. Just my collection of anime that caught my heart while watching it. 

1. InuYasha

InuYasha follows Kagome Higurashi, a fifteen-year-old girl whose normal life ends when a demon drags her into a cursed well on the grounds of her family's Shinto shrine. Instead of hitting the bottom of the well, Kagome ends up 500 years in the past during Japan's violent Sengoku period with the demon's true target, a wish-granting jewel called the Shikon Jewel, reborn inside of her.

Inuyasha has always been my fave since childhood. I love the love and hate relationship they have. Inuyasha being stubborn but ever since he met Kagome he learned a lot of being a good person. I just hate their love triangle with kikyo nevertheless I love how it ends. It's really worth it after so many years of watching and waiting for it.

2. Kamisama Kiss

 Nanami immerses herself in her divine duties. But if she must keep things running smoothly, she will need the help of a certain hot-headed fox. In her fumbling attempt to seek out Tomoe, she lands in trouble and ends up sealing a contract with him. 

I’ve never been so satisfied in my life until after watching all the episodes of this anime, the twist is amazing . It ends well. My heart was happy.

3. Wolf Girl and Black Prince

 Erika Shinohara has taken to lying about her romantic exploits to earn the respect of her new friends. So when they ask for a picture of her "boyfriend," she hastily snaps a photo of a handsome stranger, whom her friends recognize as the popular and kind-hearted Kyouya Sata.

This is the first time i tried to watch anime series continously, i mean i never wanted to stand up while watching it haha it was good . I love how Kyouya manage to be so mean while everybody thinks he's a perfect prince, but i fell in love with this couple, theyre so perfect. 

4. Noragami

Just as things seem to be looking grim for the god, his fortune changes when a middle school girl, Hiyori Iki, supposedly saves Yato from a car accident, taking the hit for him. Remarkably, she survives, but the event has caused her soul to become loose and hence able to leave her body. Hiyori demands that Yato return her to normal, but upon learning that he needs a new partner to do so, reluctantly agrees to help him find one.

aahh yatori makes my heart crave for more haha i mean dont expect a lot of romance on this, it highlights friendship . Yato being so childish and Hiyori is such a good girl, i cry whenever she loses her memory. The story is fun and I hope for the next season they will give exposure for my fave couple.

5. Inu X Boku SS

But Ririchiyo's troubles have only just begun. As a requirement of staying in her new home, she must be accompanied by a Secret Service agent. Ririchiyo's new partner, Soushi Miketsukami, is handsome, quiet... but ridiculously clingy and creepily submissive.

I love the twist, i dont mind watching this all over again. Their personalities is quite interesting, the story is cute with mix of mystery.

6. My little Monster

Shizuku Mizutani is apathetic towards her classmates, only caring about her grades. However, her cold view of life begins to change when she meets Haru Yoshida, a violent troublemaker who stopped attending class after getting into a fight early in the school year. He is not much different from her, though—he too understands little about human nature and does not have any friends.

oposite attracts haha Haru is so adorable. And their relationship is quite bumpy and unsure. But i think their feelings for each other are genuine.

7. Hatsukoi Monster

After meeting her rescuer yet again and discovering that his name is Kanade Takahashi, she confesses her love to him. Kanade says he would like for them to be a couple, but that Kaho may not want to date him after she finds out his secret. To her shock, Kaho discovers the startling truth: Kanade is a fifth grader!

 Hatsukoi Monster follows Kaho's first steps into love with Kanade, her immature, yet kind, fifth grade boyfriend.

Age doesn't really matter lol. Its kinda weird as it may seems but who cares as long as you love each other then jump and take a risk. You can wait for the right time anyway haha. This anime is funny and i love how their friendship show. Accepting the situation and learn how to deal with differences is the lesson.

8. Guomin Laogong Dai Huijia

Lu Jin Nian and Qiao An Hao were not married by choice. On the first day of their wedding night, Qiao An Hao made three rules regarding their marriage. One, you are not allowed to touch me. Two, you are not allowed to announce publicly that I'm your wife. Three, you are not allowed to say that we are living together.

I've watch only the first two seasons. and i loved it. Its like a prequel to the story but i dont know why im satisfied with it haha, the truth is i dont have the strength to watch the season 3 and i dont even wanna know how it ends. haha while watching i was desperate and frustrated them to be together, i want a happy ending. But all I can see was barriers and situation wont let them be happy together. I hope they will make a movie based on this. All i know is it was too depressing but definitely has a good story line.

9. Red Data Girl

Izumiko begins by cutting her bangs, which shocks both her classmates and protectors. And that's only the start! Her guardian, Yukimasa Sagara, forces his son, Miyuki, to come to the mountain shrine and become Izumiko's lifelong servant and protector. Too bad Izumiko and Miyuki cannot stand each other. They have known each other since they were children, and Miyuki bullied her terribly.  Will Izumiko and Miyuki work past their differences? Is she actually a literal goddess? Find out in RDG: Red Data Girl!

This anime left me hanging and didn’t give me the ending i crave for, i hope they gonna make a next season. but i enjoyed it so much, i love the main characters and the vibe it gives me. It's a serious mystery and a little bit of romance but not much. anyway i love this, never regret watching it.

10.  Shuumatsu Nani Shitemasu ka? Isogashii desu ka? Sukutte Moratte Ii desu ka?

Willem takes refuge on the floating islands in the sky, living in fear of the Beasts below. One day, he is tasked with being a weapon storehouse caretaker. Thinking nothing of it, Willem accepts, but he soon realizes that these weapons are actually a group of young Leprechauns. Though they bear every resemblance to humans, they have no regard for their own lives, identifying themselves as mere weapons of war. Among them is Chtholly Nota Seniorious, who is more than willing to sacrifice herself if it means defeating the Beasts and ensuring peace. 

Not every story has good ending but im glad i watched this. The couple reminds me of kaname and sagara of full metal panic but in different way. Their personalities are so perfect for each other. I wasnt really into anime girls with different hair colors but Ctholly change my point of view, she's exactly one of my fave girls now, her being childish, jealous and innocent around Willem caught me. Funny moments will be present too and their feelings for each other blooms slowly every episodes that you just wanna watch more. I wish the last episode ended the way I wanted, anyway, I still dont get why Willem is involved into two different girls in the past, i guess it wasnt explained that much, i just hate the flashback how he remember the girl while he's with Ctholly,. Well all in all, i enjoy much I just hope they add new season, but i dont know how it will start haha. Im just happy to meet and add this perfect couple in my list.

 So that’s it, i’m still in search of finding good anime romance. I hope i wont let my foolish hand delete this post again lol. Im definitely gonna edit this and add more . Hope you enjoy reading. :)

EDDIE REDMAYNE, THE MOST GIFTED OF THE NERDS

“Being an artist is not about talent, but the striving for perfection in the knowledge that you will ever reach it “

Eddie Redmayne wearing a blue total look and has an extraordinary face eyes and smile when he talks comes almost completely squeeze, you understand that he loves to quote this sentence of Red theatrical work by John Logan, in which he played a Ken White lotus worker and artist, in turn, a role which earned him numerous awards.” Those who  think that having a great talent does not involve effort they’re wrong. it’s impossible distinguish the great talents from hard work. For me they are inseparable.”

We are in London, near Borough Market, where Redmayne lives with his wife Hannah and Iris, their daughter 10 months old, and says that when he got the role of Stephen Hawking, then earned an Oscar for The Theory of Everything, there were other 5 actors to compete for that role. “  I never thought, ‘ I can do it’ but I am very interested to do” so with some modesty, when you consider the  transformation in Lily for The  Danish Girl has touched a second statuette, shifts the focus from himself and asks me If I followed the advice he gave me  the last time we met, when he suggested to go to  see a series of portraits in the National Portrait Gallery. Redmayne  often finds inspiration for his characters remaining for hours observing painting’ details  a legacy that carries the art studies at Trinity College, Cambridge, and after years of  Eton college. I need to know everything about the physicality of a character as he walks  as he eats even in bed wher he  sleeps. In a TV miniseries Elizabeth I, 10 years ago was the Earl of Southampton. To the National Portrait Gallery has exhibited a painting commissioned by himself who explain more of thousend words, how much he loved  wealth. He  had very long hair, wore rings of various shapes and was surrounded by precious objects carpets. If I had not seen that picture my acting would be much poorer, in the true sense of the  word.

Also for Fantastic Beasts  he spent whole days to observe the rhinos” I did tell the animal trainer all their idiosyncrasies” says with a tone of amazement still in his voice, he needed to immerse themselves in the shoes of  Newton scamander a magician totally dedicated to his Fantastic Beasts that studies and saves.

Eddie what comes from this extraordinary meticulousness preparation?

I have a bad imagination so I try to immerse myself in things in a more visual can. I watch different movies  more than those of Charlie Chaplin and Buster Keaton on, I look at the paintings  to try  to pull out something interesting about how to dial a code of references that inspire me. The truth is that we specialize  to compense in our defects a lot, and we are working on eventually they become our strengths.

In this way, however, you  became the first paraplegic and then a man in search of his own female identity?

And seems that i choose these roles... they were  the result of coincidences. When you play someone who lives or has lived, and then people know you have to work a lot on the effect of actually looking for details everywhere,   I have followed the same method even when interpreted a fictitious character in Fantastic Beasts asking  J.K. Rowling  all references possible about the time, the  period in which she set the story, how   the people looked  in the New York of the time. We are literally immersed in those imaginary thing.

What’s  for you  physical transformation, skill that was the main key to the success ?

The physicality is a massive  part of than we are, but it’s just one of the aspects of my job. My  work  would be a very bad if one only looked viewer the appearance. Even if you stay in a character for 8 months, and I end up becoming a bit ’ also what I play, I like to lead a life  a  normal as possible.

Your last role, and maybe the most difficult, to be father you’re in is turning even there?

it’s too early to say that I am becoming a father, and I’m trying to keep my head above water this so. I do not sleep a lot and even my wife also in this, Also in this if I think how to act both I and Hannah trust instinct do not analyze things too much, and the way to do.

There are colleagues inspired you ?

For each role I find one other than. Maybe you don’t believe it  to become Stephen Hawking had in mind James Dean who was a revelation watching almost all his films, I knew it about icon but not his work, and has a lot to me hit even when I play with famous actors are more intrigues.

First, you talk about  Rothko assistant’s sentence  that to be an artist and to aspire to perfection, knowing that you will ever rich out.

This’s a good answer  for those who ask me “Why  you recite a play for nine months, every night, doing the same thing?” If I think the movie, one of the most frustrating aspects of my work is that although the leap of spectators we have available hundreds of “action!” for one scene actually,not much better it happens that you have in brilliant idea when filming ended’ll see you in film 9 months later and maybe you will not like it.

After the Oscar, and the last nomination, it was thought that it would have made dozens of movies, instead not. Why ?

I was  dreaming to become an actoor  since I was a child, then someone, maybe to dissuade, told me that i it would be difficult to make it a true profession. Now I can say it’s true.  Since I started doing auditions for many parts every time they called me I was going to try it. Despite having become my job, and I have had so many awards, fear of not working after never leaving me. For the last four years, while I was running The Danish girl I was going to promote The Theory of Everything and  while on the set of Fantastic Beasts every Weekend I flew to Los Angeles to promote the Danish girl. In short, for four years I didn’t have a life here so well.When I’m done Fantastic Beasts I decided to take a little ‘time for  the family and  my friends.

In the Pop Culture you are considered “a kind of modern British Avatar Style ” what’ s for you style?

Instinct, more than an calculating.Someone’s associate personality style and elegance which for me is effortlessness

Your kindness and your courtesy are disarming. It seems that embodies, where does this attitude are from ?

In the profession there is a lot of competition, you through different emotions, constantly frustration and anger, jealousy, and I think I’ve made some important experiences regarding this.  My older brother James,unlike mine, is a sports talented man from there we challenge often tennis but he did it without a real passionand and in summer we played a match after he had not touched a racket for months, leaves me coming the fifth set and just when I thought I would win  it pulled out the best of himself and beat me. I remember that my anger was mounted to the point of becoming fierce.

And what got you inside?

I noticed that emotions like rage and competitiveness, were so unpleasant that it was best to remove it. In the world is full noise coming from all directions that you should still try to offer the best of yourselves.

Soon you’ll  back on set for the sequel to Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them directed by David Yate. What fascinates you the world of JK Rowling?

 Her imagination, her genius of creating worlds.

Newton Scamander’s suitcase,  the magician expelled from Hogwarts that calls himself magizoologo, contains real worlds. Instead,  what’s in your ?

Books, watercolors, to make the tremendous paintings,script, a camera, a very few  blue clothes, usually. I’m color blind and that’s the only color that stands out well. Sometimes I dress colorfully and by reaction  those who are close to me, I understand that are too showy.

Two questions. One Kaze related, one not. Non Kaze first: How do you feel about Jakob. I know he's a jerk but i love him and i'm curious to hear what you think of him. Kaze related: How do you feel about Kaze and Rinkah?

TIME FOR A LONG POST

1. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with Jakob. Like a few other characters, he’s kind of a character that I kind of like AS a character, but personality wise I could totally take or leave him lol. Like whether I like him or not depends entirely on my mood. But if you ever see me hating on him don’t take me too seriously because I dont actually really hate him.

Most people, of course, are bothered by him being kind of an asshole to a lot of the cast. I can understand why this bothers people and it is a legit reason to dislike him, but it actually doesn’t bother me that much because I know where he’s coming from and exactly why he acts this way. I’m not sure if the majority of people really understand this entirely but as we know Jakob has basically been abused his entire life. His parents were cold and loveless to each other and to him, and then they dumped him on the castle doorstep where he was taken in as a servant, but he SUCKED MAJORLY so he was then abused verbally and physically by the rest of the staff. When you keep all this in mind, Corrin was most probably the first person who ever showed him genuine kindness and gentleness. Which to him, rose Corrin to a level of a god in his mind. So because of all of his bad experiences with other people, I believe Jakob’s poor attitude and him being rude, cold and sometimes mean to others is actually a defense mechanism. Since he’s run into so many shitty people his entire life, I think he believes most people are no good. Like aside from Corrin who is an extraordinary exception, he has no reason to believe most other people wont be harsh and cruel to him like they’ve always been his entire life. So he pushes away most other people with a cold, cruel and harsh attitude of his own. He mistrusts people by default.

So when you look at it like that, his attitude kind of understandable, and for me it makes his attitude more tolerable. He’s kinda like a puppy dog that adores their master but barks at literally everyoen else. It’s kinda cute tbh. I also enjoy the supports where he’s nice to people like Hinoka’s and Azura’s (and I ship him with them tbh LOL. You know he faints in Azura’s S rank right I die). And at least Jakob is like upfront about his assholery and not weirdly selective about it like Silas is in his supports with Azura and Hana.

Also quickly unit wise– unfortunately I never end up using Jakob that much. He’s basically obsolete from the get go in Birthright since you start with Sakura and get Azama only a few chapters later (and the ninjas fill the dagger role better than he does too unfortunately). I find I got the best mileage out of Jakob in Conquest where he usually sticks around as a mainstay in my party until chapter 13 at least and is a pretty good asset in the earlier chapters like the Ice Tribe one. But unfortunately again when I end up getting better units further down the road in Conquest, one way or another Jakob just always ends up dropping off to the bench. I feel a bit bad about it but that’s how things end up going.

Also really quickly I guess I should talk about Jakob and Kaze. Yall may have noticed they’re actually kind of similar characters, and not really only with their devotion toward Corrin. I generally feel like Jakob is an meaner, fancier version of Kaze, it’s like he’s the negative Kaze lol. Personally I find Kaze more interesting than Jakob because all of Jakob’s development as a character happened BEFORE the game started so it happened OFF screen. We don’t get to see it, and are just told that it happened. This isn’t bad story telling in itself but for me it makes it difficult to immerse myself or emotionally invest in it. I find Kaze easier to latch on to because we get to SEE his development happen in his A rank with Corrin and a bit in BR ch 15. I do like Jakob to some effect tho. He’s an ok dude.

2. I guess you could say that I could rank every non Kaze/Corrin support on a kind of vague spectrum. And if we’re doing that, I would honestly put Kaze/Rinkah on the higher side of it. I kinda like these two together, but I don’t think that they could really work out well romantically, but more on that later.

First of all I do think they have a cute and funny support. Kaze is totally unbothered by Rinkah’s fire, and totally brushes off all her snippy tsundere rage at every turn. He can definitely see right through her and knows it’d probably be better for her to just indulge in eating sweets every now and again instead of denying it. I actually kind of like these two in a buddy buddy way I think. This is probably because they’re in a lot of chapters together. Like they both fight you in chapter 2, and then both rejoin you later in chapter 4. And in Conquest theyre together in chapter 12 or whatever. Even though they dont really interact in these later chapters, and just kinda show up, simply the fact that they show up together so frequently is enough for some people to try to tie them together in some sense. And it makes me see them as some level of natural good friends.

Okay now romantically (and this is really opinion and perspective based so bare with me) PERSONALLY, ROMANTICALLY, I don’t think they’d really work out that well. WHY? Okay well for Kaze we know that he is the type of person who likes taking care of others and improving their QoL. He does it in basically 97% of his supports, and he does it in Rinkah’s too. Kaze is a retainer and a servant and he’s been raised to serve his entire life. It’s not only his kind of duty and responsibility to take care of other people, but I honestly think he just generally likes doing it (I could go deep into a character analysis about this but that’s for another time I think LOL).

So romantically, this aspect of Kaze wouldn’t change. I think he would want to coddle and take care of his partner and just indulge them and make sure they would WANT FOR NOTHING. This is why I think he’s naturally attracted to girls like Sakura (like, I think Sakura is his “type” since he says he’s been crushing on her for a long time in their S rank) because Sakura, while she is strong and capable in her own way yes, also needs to be taken care of to some extent because of her anxiety issues and shyness ect. And she could definitely benefit a lot from Kaze’s loving and supportive nature. She’s someone who needs a good solid support to help her along and go through stressful things with her. Kaze is perfect in that role for Sakura.

But for Rinkah? Not so much. Rinkah doesn’t want to be coddled. I mean, YEAH, she indulges in the sweets that Kaze gives her throughout their support, but I don’t think she’s the type of person who wants to be babied and indulged too much. Like Kaze gives a specific kind of affection and I don’t think she’s the type of person, with her personality, to fully appreciate that kind of love that he wants to give.I mean, it’s even kind of heavily implied in their S rank with this line.

[[Kaze: You look disappointed. Perhaps you were craving more sweets?Rinkah: Ugh…Kaze: I suspected as much. Well then, our discussion can wait. First we must find you some treats.Rinkah: No, that’s OK. You’re not responsible for my stomach, you know.Kaze: Yes, but I like making sure you are content. If I could have it my way, you’d never suffer from anything ever again.Rinkah: That’s a little…weird. I can take care of myself, Kaze.Kaze: I know, but I’m afraid I can’t help it… I’m in love with you.]]

Rinkah is assertive and strong and dominant. She is fire. That’s one aspect of her personality that I don’t think will ever change. I’m not saying they would have a bad or unhappy relationship, (they’d probably find a balance eventually and fall into a kind of natural rhythm). But because of her natural personality she wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate the kind of love Kaze wants to give, imo. Like, his words to her up there are lost on her. BUT, like I said, that’s just my two cents on the entire thing.

Because of that, while I do like them together, and they are on the the higher side of the “Kaze supports spectrum” Rinkah wouldn’t be my first choice to S rank him to you know. I kind of like Rinkah with people like Ryoma who help her try to tone down and settle her anger, but is also on a similar level with her personality wise. THAT’S ALL I GOT

Tales of insomnia

Chapter 2 We passed the door and we sit ourselves in a table of the top of the old restaurant. The table of metal with some condiments on the top, closer to a big window from where it look the cars, the fuel the road and the infinite desert on the line. The seats of red leather, where cold and even where ready for place three persons in each other, I seat in front my father. I took a menu and became a check the food, some burgers, eggs, smoothies... Really don't want to talk with my father more of the necessary, I have enough discusión latest weeks, since he knows I apply for the laives and cronsward, by my own and I became accepted, sutarted the endless discussions, he where so strong headed, but I am too, and has to keep my promise, not just to my king, to miself to him. Fighting where always my passion, when I fight I feel free, free myself and I'm good on it, so good, maybe is by my heritage, daughter of a cronsward general and captain, my love for the fight starts so early. I start to training so soon, and at first my father wheren't much complained with it, I guess, the fact of loosing my mother in the battle when I was 2 year old, makes him so jealous of my security, but I where disposed to take my own will, and I start to training by own in secret, with my best friend Gladio, so in the end, my father agreed to training me, with him. He must be trained for be the personal shield of the King, but I will became a cronsward too, a warrior to fight and defense the future king too, as my father do and my mother, she dies yes, but she dies doing what she was loved. -you know you must to do "The ceremony of the Lucis gift"- he said serious and weackly, watching me behind the menu -I know- answer him shortly -is just in appearance, cause you won't need it, but will be the best if you would gonna use magic in a free way- he said loudly his tone. -I just use my magic when Is necessary- answered him behind the menu -Down, your magic is not a joke, is a rare thing and you know must be a secret- he saids seriously -if the empire will ever known, you will be in bare danger- I took apart my menu, look in to my fathers eye defiant and deep pissed of. -I keep it in secret since they became to flow, and I start to control them, as best as I can do all exce...- BAM! My father slam the table so highly, and all restaurant look at us in silence -you shouldn't use them...- says so low barely rated by me -I took really care of them, and no one knowns from them- I said in same time defiantly, the duel of stubbornness starts to go to the top, and then my father blows out the frustration with the air that where out of his noise, and for a moment he looks little down, -I just want you to keep safe, I accept you want became a laive, I understand your reasons and I agree, will be a better and safe place for your "gifts", but please, just take care, your case is only one, and for more I search- -you weren't find the reason why- I told him with indulgence and loving -I know dad, but I really take care of them, trust me- I down my stubbornness We stay in silence for a while in time the waitres approach us, we ordered owr meals and still we keep in silence. In time the food is ready I entertained miself watching over the window, I hasn't much to talk about with my father, is not I not love him, I do, so much, but since he forced me to move to lestallum with my granny, owr relationship became hard, and the similitudes of characters weren't help anymore. I loose my mind in my memories. (Flashback) Gladio where in the training room, a young boy with 13, short hair and pointy long on top, tall, and strong, weared in a jog pants and sleeveless shirt of the cronsward. He where fighting against a training manekin with a wood sword, he was beating strong in wrath, screaming in every stroke, disgusting and angry, he beat and beat till his wood sword brokes in a hardly deep stroke over the manekin side. He cry with frustration, and threw the handle of the broken sword on the side with anger. -Damn- he grunt and go to the weapons closet to take another one, and starts to fight again with the manekin in same mode. His father pases on the hallway besides, and watched his son on that state, over the opened door, he enter on the room. His soon watch the presence of his father, and stops the fight, hardly breathing in anger. His father approached him and watched the broken wood sword, and the manekin, and he took a deep breathing -soon, if you keep in that way, forcing yourself, you will end broke as this poor manekin- the man spokes slowly in a tent of console his soon The young boy, breath out with frustration -Is not fair dad, I'm gonna loosing my best friend, and there's nothing I can do about!- Gladio says dejected. The man aproached to his soon, and put a hand over his showlder -Gladio, is what his father wants, and maybe is the best for her- the man tries to console his son -But, she will be safe here, all of us are safe here... she is a warrior, she knows how to defense himself, she....- he grunted, frustrated he can't keep on talking, he known her secret, and he will keep his promise to her to not tell to no one, even if this one where his father, tears of impotence came to the edge of his eyes, and he hardly breathe to keep them on it. -go, and past the time you get with her, spend all the time you can with her till she goes- Clarus says, the boy noods and clench the theets. -Is a shit, you know, I had to leave her go, and don't know when, or even if Im gonna see her again.... is a fucking shit- Gladio said defeated. Clarus stay there looking his son cross the door as a gost in pain and feeling so sorrow for him. The sixt known he tries to convince Cor, to talk to him, not just by his soon, by him, by his wife, and his family, she is like a beloved member to them, but the man, has took already his decision, and for more he, and his wife loves the girl as their own daughter, she weren't and there's nothing more he could do, he feels shame. A few hours later, on a top of a hill in a park on the outsides of the city, a dark blonde curly hair, dressed in a short jean skirt and white top with sneakers, was sitting in an iron bench, watching the skyline of the crown city on the horizon, and by his side, so close to her, a tall boy, in pointy hair, and wide shoulders, dresses in a black short sleeve top, dark cropped grey pants and sneakers in black, looking on the edge, both sighs loosed in the lights of the city in the twilight sky. Both in silence, cause the words can't come to them, all the afternoon were same, they go to coffee shop, and drink chai cold late, they smiled each other in sadly, they walk over the city, hand by hand as always do all theyr life. They where the best friend, they share dreams, nightmares and knows all from each other, he never looks in a different way to her, even when she told her secret, the white feathers who start to appear since the sword back bone, and over her shoulder, since the powers starts to flow in them never bothered him, he finds are special as she is, she one of A kind, and no one fits in him as she does, they talk of all, they are confidants, the best friends, she is everything for him and him is everything to her, they tell all to one and another, they known better to the other than himself, they are the everything' for the other, always laught, smile, training, fight and competition, sharing music, their pasión for laught and sports, for outdoors even for noodles, and now... now they just can't talk. And there they are, hand to hand watching the edge, but the feel of the hand in to another, makes them feel they where there, in some way, that soft they always recognize everywhere... -I write, everyday- she brokes the silence -I write, everyday too- he smirks A tear starts to down over her face, and became another, and another, she never cry, never, no mater how hard the stroke on training where, how frustrated she where, how down she where, she never cry, except really rare and hurt ocasiona, and now her cry are unstoppable. Gladio is strong, so strong, he can endure everything, he can face anything, everything except to see her cry, he turns and hug her, she turns back and held him, immerse herself in to his arms and chest -I promise, I will back- tolds her, raising his face to him, eye by eye, hazel over blue, and both can look inside of each other, he barely can keep in his own tears, but he is not going to cry, not going to make the thing harder for her, he will be makes her feel easy, he could carrying is if for her. His right hand where cupping her check, and with his thumb put away her tears, softly and tender, the right hand over her back, getting her in to more closer, she held him harder, deepening in to him, and their faces where a milimetres of distance, she cries and sob, -I really promise, and we will back to the beach, as when we where kids, and...- she can't end the line cause he kissing her, first where soft, lip by lip, but slowly it turns in to a more deep kiss, mouth by mouth as if the young friends where triying to breath from the mouth of the other, and their hearts, seems as if it where to explode in each other with that their first kiss, not just between them, their first kiss in their life's, how they has been expecting so more time to kiss them. ----------- -Dawn!- Cor where calling her daughter, and the seriously voice of her father keep her back to the Eos again, -yes?- obviously, I weren't pay attention to what my father where asking, he just give me my food who recently was leaved on table by the waitress, and start to eat. -Will you gonna answer me?- Cor sounds disgusted -answer to what?- I drink a deep stroke of my smoothie -you ear me when I talk?- he looks deep in my eyes -your arm, feathers, as grow, isn't?- -yes, since my..."gift" grows, they grown down my arm- -are they appeared in other way?- -dad.... oh by the six, they has just grow until my elbow, I use to tell people are a tattoo I made it by parts, even is white, they elige, and if you come to visit me often, probably you will known- I spit it out in my father, who just look at me with a mix between embarrassment and sadness -my job in palace took me much time than I expected- he excused himself with shame -I guess, well... I didn't Mean say this, I know is your job and this- I look in to my plate -You're not the only one who where expecting news from the loved ones- Cor spit it out, -what you mean?- -Gladio, both two are keep in contact right?- Cor ask to her daughter with some overprotective fatherhood -really? Are we gonna talk about this?- Im offended -dad, honestly weren't your..- -Gladio is a good boy, I just try to... known- Cor Tryes to be soft and has a father conversation in to her daughter, with curiosity to known her, something hard to an introvertive girl, at least with him, he can't blame her for this, so he must to try -I'm not gonna talk to you about this- I try to advoid the topic -and save the conversation about the bees and flowers cause, I known all I need to know about- yes I was a spinels rat but, how he dare to answer me this at this point after everything... as if the rest between weren't noting! Is disgusting. -whait, what did you know, how far are you...- Cor interrogates her daughter -DAD!- I up my voice as "this has been too much", and my father nood, exhaling frustration and upping his hands in a surrender gesture. That was enough at least for me and I decide took the rest of the dinner in silence, and then we back to the car heading to Insomnia.