#i literally woke up to this having so many notes wtf
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mad woman — ethan landry (part five)
words: 1,769
pairing: ethan landry x gf!fem!reader
based on: mad woman by taylor swift
author’s note: only one more part left ! and the epilogue (if i decide to give y/n and ethan a happy ending).
previous part ; next part
Y/N AND ETHAN WOKE UP AT THE SOUND OF THEIR PHONES RINGING. The girl groaned in annoyance as she reached for the device laying on the drawer. Ethan mumbled something under his breath before grabbing Y/N by the waist to push her against his bare chest again.
The girl laughed kissing his cheek “Eth, it might be important” she whispered. He sighed, letting her go. She took her phone and read the texts that were sent to the group as Ethan pressed short kisses on her neck.
mindy
y/n, ethan we have a plan.
meet us at the park in an hour
tara
hello????
everything okay???
chad
answer us!!!
mindy
fuck he killed her
i told you not to go with him y/n/n
wtf mindy i’m okay
why would you text that if you thought i was dead??
mindy
idk maybe you are seeing me typing
maybe you are stuck in this world trying to get revenge
you want to haunt your boyfriend for killing you!
please stop watching paranormal movies minds
we are okay. we’ll meet you there in thirty minutes
chad
*20
we texted you 40 minutes ago, mindy told you to meet us in an hour
yeah we are not going to make it in twenty
we need to shower
sam
but you went to his dorm specifically to shower
why didn’t you do that already?
i did. but i need to shower again :)
mindy
i’m throwing up rn
tara
she literally gagged
chad
ethan my man!! so proud of you buddy!
he’s still sleeping i tired him out
mindy
DONT PUT MENTAL IMAGES IN MY MIND THAT IS DISGUSTING
lmao i’m just messing with you, minds
mindy
thank god.
because virgins survive, so you two might have a chance
oh i was kidding about him still being asleep
the rest was all true :)
mindy
just stop taking and meet us there🤮
“Why didn’t you get rid of Mindy instead of Anika?” Y/N groaned as they made their way to the shower. “I actually really liked Anika. And my patience with Mindy is running out. I swear next time she says something mean to you I-“
He cut her off with a kiss “God, I love it when you get protective” he pressed against the wall of the shower.
“The shower is for showering, babe” she pulled away.
“Can’t help it” he said kissing her neck and shoulders. Y/N smirked as she turned on the cold water, Ethan quickly stepped back.
“Y/N! What was that for?” he glared at her.
“You are in desperate need of a cold shower” she laughed “Come on, we need to hurry. Your dad said it was important for us to be there”.
Ethan sighed in defeat “Fine”.
“I promise that once this is over, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me” she gave him a peck.
“Anything?” he smirked.
“Anything” she confirmed.
QUINN ATTACKED GALE AT HER HOUSE, ALMOST BEING SUCCESSFUL IN KILLING HER. Right now, the whole group, minus officer Bailey and Kirby, were at the hospital lounge, waiting for any news on the reporter’s health.
Y/N and Ethan were internally fuming. How many fucking lives did Gale Weathers have? It was ridiculous. Though, they really enjoyed seeing Sam’s guiltiness eat her alive.
"What do we do know?" Y/N asked, sitting on Ethan’s lap. He tightened his grip on the girl's frame as she drew invisible circles on his chest.
"Maybe he gets to win this time" Sam said, her voice was a bit shaky. They all looked at her as if she was crazy. "He wants to punish me. Me. So maybe I'll let him. I'll just give myself up. If this is what I have to do, to keep you safe, it's worth it".
"First of all, you are fucking insane if you think we'll let you do that" Y/N told her, no hesitation in her voice.
Tara stood up. "Y/N/N is right. You always protect us, now it's time we protect you. We are a team, remember?".
"We are family" Y/N corrected, standing up and walking towards Sam.
"You can say it, Chad" Mindy said, standing up too.
Chad got into his feet and with a excited smile he said. "Let's go! Core five!".
"Core what?" asked Danny.
"It's an us think" Chad explained briefly.
"He's gonna keep coming after us" Sam warned them.
"Isn't there somewhere safe we can hold up in?" Ethan asked.
"He's just going to keep finding us" Tara told him, making him sigh. "We could use that, though”.
THE FINAL ACT WAS ABOUT TO BEGIN. The group planned on luring Ghostface into a secure location and trap him inside. The final reveal was getting close, and Y/N’s heart beat with excitement. She couldn’t wait to see the life draining from Tara’s eyes. And then, she would continue her life with the love of her life.
"Is this even a good plan?" Ethan asked, his hand gripping Y/N’s tightly, as they walked down the stairs to take the train.
"You don't have to come if you don't want to" Tara replied.
"So we just peel off so the killer takes us off one by one? No, thank you" the curly-haired boy said, making his girlfriend look at him with her eyebrows raised. "And I don't want to leave Y/N alone, of course".
The girl laughed. "You really don't have to come, you know? We are not going to blame you for not going".
Ethan sighed. "No. Like I said, I won’t leave you alone".
“Yeah, very romantic, lovebirds. Can you move now? We are going to miss the train” Mindy said annoyed from behind them.
They walked through the current of people, pushing and shoving to try to get into the train. Just as they were about to enter it, the doors closed right in front of their faces.
"The next one should be here any minute. We won't be that far behind" said Y/N to Ethan and Mindy.
"Well, what are you waiting for? Go away" Mindy said to the boy.
"What do you mean?" the girl asked her confused.
"I don't trust your boyfriend".
Y/N rolled her eyes. "Mindy, not right now. Leave your stupid accusations aside, we need to stick together".
"Fine, you can stay with him. I'll wait a couple of feet away" she replied stubbornly.
"Mindy, come on" she said tiredly, but her friend didn't listen. She turned to face the tall boy. "Can I be the one who gets rid of her?".
Ethan tried not to laugh “I’m sorry but we have to take advantage of her stubbornness. Text Quinn, it’ll be less suspicious if you do it”.
“How disappointing” she scoffed, pulling her phone out.
hey quinn. we are about to take the train. we missed the first, so we are taking the next one.
mindy distanced herself from us cause she doesn’t trust your brother.
it’ll be a great opportunity to get rid of her
(i’m so jealous you get to do it btw).
quinn
roger that:)
aw i’m sorry, i promise i’ll be extra brutal for you :)
stop flirting with me!
quinn
no can do ;)
“Hey, what the fuck?” Ethan whispered, reading the conversation over her shoulder.
Y/N laughed “Don’t worry, pretty boy. My heart is only yours”.
“That’s right. You are mine” he said, gripping her hips.
“You are so hot when you get territorial” she said pressing a kiss on his jaw.
When they boarded the train, Mindy walked towards the end of the wagon, away from them but at a reasonable distance so she could keep an eye on Ethan.
“This is perfect” Y/N whispered, looking around. The train was crowded with people dressed as famous killers—Jason, Michael Myers, Ghostface, Pennywise.
"What’s your favorite scary movie, darling?” the boy joked. He was towering over her, and her back was pressed against a metal tube.
Y/N rolled her eyes "Shut up, idiot. I was never a fan of those types of movies”
“Maybe that could be one of our dates, watching scary movies”
“I’ll do anything as long as it’s with you” she smiled sweetly. He got closer to her, now they were chest against chest, and kissed her cheeks multiple times.
“Gross” said a familiar voice from next to them. Just after that, the light went out.
“That’s your cue, Quinnie” Y/N told her.
“Don’t call me that” she grumbled before starting to get closer and closer to Mindy.
On the next stop, when a big number of people stepped out of the train, the couple turned around to see Mindy sitting on the floor, hands pressed to her stomach and blood staining her shirt.
"No, fuck!" Y/N yelled faking concern as she ran towards her. She wanted to smile so badly at the sight of the girl in pain "You've got to be kidding me! I'm so sorry, Minds".
"Somebody help!" Ethan screamed, but no one moved one finger to do something. "Shit. We've got to get her out of here".
Y/N nodded. "Breath deep" she told her before pulling her to her feet. The girl let out a groan of pain as the couple lead her out of the train. "Thanks for nothing, assholes!".
"Somebody call 911!" Ethan yelled as they put the wounded girl on the floor of the station. "Are you okay?".
"Yeah, I'm so good" she said through her teeth.
"You're going to be okay" Ethan told her.
"Goddam it! I got it wrong again!" she cried. The paramedics arrived and started to check on the wounded girl.
"Is she going to be okay?" Y/N asked them.
"Yes, your friend will be fine, don't worry. We are going to give her painkillers, while we drive her to the hospital" they informed her.
“Minds, they need all the help they can get. I hate to leave you alone, but…” Y/N started.
Mindy nodded in understanding “You have to help them, it’s okay. Go”.
“If you need anything, call me okay?” Y/N told her.
“I’ll be fine, really. Just… be careful with him, okay? I know he’s your boyfriend and you like him, but never trust the love interest”.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be okay” she assured her before the paramedics took her away. “Heard that? I should be careful with you” she turned around with a smirk to face her boyfriend. “Are you gonna hurt me?”.
Ethan laughed “Depends, are you into those types of kink?”.
“You really should’ve taken that cold shower” Y/N said rolling her eyes, but smiling nonetheless. “Now, let’s go. It’s time for the big finale, baby!”.
#jack champion#ethan landry#jack champion x y/n#jack champion fluff#jack champion x reader#ethan landry x reader#ethan landry x you#ghostface#jack champion imagine#jack champion oneshot#scream#scream iv#scream fanfic#scream 6#ethan landry drabble#ethan landry fic#ethan landry oneshot#ethan landry fluff#ethan landry x y/n#ethanlandry#jackchampion
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My silly little Link headcannons
hii again I'm very bored rn sooo
again for Zelda, it's only the major ones, sorry obscure link fans
also wtf is this gif I found 😭😭
Skyward Sword
✯has the biggest crush on his Zelda bc they're so close
✯like it's VERY obvious how they feel about eachother
✯His fav flavour of ice cream is Oreo ice cream but he also loves toffee and vanilla too
✯He can talk but he prefers sign language (dialect of sign language may vary on preference ((like ASL or BSL or LSE, ect)) ) and talks to save time in an emergency in case the other person may not know sign, but DOES sign if they do
For this one, I thought about the cutscenes where he's explaining something (like the current location or condition of Zelda) to another character and we can see his mouth moving.
✯no because if video games existed in skyloft, i just know that he's playing stardew valley and papas freezeria. I can feel it in my BONES
✯Definitely woke up under his bed once and hit his head on the bedframe
✯him and Groose have insult battles but then they get ice cream together after
Ocarina of Time/Majora's Mask
✯somebody get this poor boy a therapist and a hug PLEASE
Twilight Princess
✯it felt natural to him when he transformed using the Zora mask in mm, because both the models for adult link and Zora link are the same size
✯mute
✯i think he played the ocarina like a recorder (aka with no experience at all) and did each note individually and the magic of the ocarina of time was probably like "there is NO WAY that I'm letting this kid tarnish my reputation goddamit" and made the songs sound nicer after he had played all the notes
✯forgot once that he was a kid again and walked to Romani ranch to get some chateau Romani and was genuinely surprised when Cremia said no
✯Had more of a genuine connection to Midna, but still had a friendship with princess Zelda
Wind Waker
✯felt a strange familial connection to the hero of shades when he met him and made link want to find out who the hero of shades was
✯does NOT like how short he is when he transforms into a wolf
✯Best poker face in history
Breath of the Wild
✯Gives Aryll piggybacks when she wants
✯would gladly eat his grandma's soup for the rest of his life
✯His grandma gave him the recipe to her soup when he left to discover the new Hyrule
✯Has the most major and unhidable (that's not a word but who cares) side eye in the history of time
✯If the events of WW didn't happen, I think he would have grown up to be a cartographer or he would REALLY like making his own maps
✯sorry to get all angsty but I don't think he wanted to kill Ganondorf. I just don't. I don't think either of them wanted to kill eachother. I feel like Link feels guilty about it because it's so obvious that it was only self defense after the triforce was touched by king Daphnes and it literally drove Ganondorf insane
Tbh I'd go crazy too if something I had wanted so badly got taken by another person even tho I literally got SEALED IN ANOTHER FUCKING REALM FOR A LONG AMOUNT OF TIME for it
Again sorry for no totk for this one pls no spoilers
✯Gets ambushed by Yiga so many times that he knows their names
*Yiga poofs into existence* "IM HERE TO KILL YOU LINK, IN REVENGE FOR MASTER KOHGA!!!!"
"oh hi jerry, nice weather eh?" -link
✯After he saved princess Zelda, he took a nap that lasted 4 ENTIRE days
✯not even the sound of kass' accordion could wake his ass up
✯very obvious but if he wasn't a knight, he would be a chef. Not sous chef. He would be head chef.
✯His hands are probably rough as hell from all that Hero Of Hyrule™-ing he has done
✯despite being able to lift heavy objects, his arms are still noodles
#tloz#ocarina of time#oot#tp#twilight princess#wind waker#ww#zelda#the legend of zelda#link#ww link#skyward link#skyward sword#mm#majoras mask#zelda headcanon#headcanon#headcannons#link headcannons
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Shattered dream sans x a reader who works for nightmare- [idk if this is what you mean by like you know writing reqs-]
Cas and Null decided to write this together! Hope you enjoy <3
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Alright, this is probably gonna get real complicated REAL FAST
Man is crazy (obvi)
But he’s thankfully (or maybe not thankfully) crazy for you
Uhhh… good luck with that…
So man, this can go a few ways… None of which are probably good lol
Let’s say you’re close to Nightmare before stuff hits the fan. Well, as close as you can get to him…
He’s kinda emotionally constipated, but we love him (kinda)
Nightmare, if he actually gives a damn about you, probably would be… let’s just say “reluctant” to have you around his newly corrupted brother.
He trusted him even less now tbh
BUT
I mean, at least he’s not suspiciously nice anymore??? /j
So, man’s crazy x2 so both of them are kinda trying to manipulate you in order to “see their side”
Basically, they’re fighting over you. One as a romantic interest and the other as platonic… probably.
But basically, neither are exactly “right”
You were doing a pretty good job at trying to stay away from Shattered!Dream until, one day, he managed to corner you when you were really sleepy
“Oh, poor thing. Aren’t you tired of mercilessly working for that…. Imbecile brother of mine? Come here, rest your head.” Shattered cooed at you from the other end of the room, watching you stumble your way into your house after a particularly rough mission. How did he even get in here? You were too tired to care. You shuffled over to him and slumped down at his feet, resting your head in his lap. He places his hand on your head, tenderly stroking your hair and murmuring sweet nothings.
So naturally, you were like “whaT THE FU-”
Nah, you totally didn’t suspect anything. I mean, how different could Shattered!Dream be from his old self? (very different, as you’d come to find out)
You hadn’t slept in literal days, you’d just come back from one of Nightmare’s missions, things got messy in that mission, “your husband is dead, we found him with no head” type shenanigans.
(… the frick did I just say???? ADHD brain is wack as frick, don’t do vegetables, kids)
Your brain was confused and static-y (is that a neurodivergent thing???) and you were just done by that point
You were kinda not too trusting of him, buuuuut… his lap was comfortable, what else can I say, Your Honor?
(I was just in a silly goofy kinda mood, so I fell asleep on my mortal enemy’s lap)
His voice was relaxing, his lap cozy, the mood just right, and you were exhausted beyond belief
So what did you do?
You fell asleep
Anyways
I have no idea if any of this is coherent
When you woke up (like 16 hours later, thanks to exhaustion) you found that you were in your bed.
You, not knowing wtf just happened, are confused, of course.
Was that all a Dream? Well, Dream was involved but NO, IT WAS NOT A DREAM
HIT THE PANIC BUTTON
You have gay panic for a bit until you see the note on your bedside table
He called you mi cielito in the letter.
Mi cielito?? Depending on if you know Spanish, you may be a little confused. Means “my little sky”... what can I say, he’s a sucker for Moon, Sun, Stars, Sky, etc. motifs
Same
Alright, so…
Thankfully, unlike Nightmare, he’s probably not gonna leave dead birds outside of your doorstep
(probably)
You know, for someone that doesn’t really like cats (we all know what I’m talking about), Nightmare sure does act like one… Neko! Nightmare coming up? (I know the word “neko” just dealt +40 psychic damage to one of you out there)
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Alright, I didn’t really answer your request but I am PLANNING on making this a smol series. So like… a few parts? I just really want to get this out! :]
Cas was sorta working off of first caffeine in week, combined with not sleeping in over 24 hours.
Hope you enjoyed! Please, feel free to send as many requests as you want!
#shattered dream sans#undertale sans#undertale#undertale au#shattered dream#dream sans#dreamtale#writing#writing requests#shattered!dream#sans#sans x reader
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Hi, River! :)
What's your favourite NIN song(s) my dude? (If I may call you my dude.)
hello! god this is like asking me to choose a favorite child except i think that would be easier. if i was a parent. it's hard to chose only a few faves but it will TRY to keep this limited... (note from future river: i failed)
fuck this is actually so difficult... ok i have to get closer out of the way
obviously..... predictable choice but it's a hit for a reason ok!! it was my top song on spotify last year and i literally only started listening to nin in october. so good... i saw u respond to my post about track transitions and the transition from closer into ruiner makes me go crazyyyyyyy. i love ruiner as well but again. trying to keep it limited..
ok nearly every song on tds is a favorite so i'm just going to highlight a few more and then i'll give other releases a chance 😭
reptileee.. UGHHH. yeah this one just does something to me. the machinery sounds. yum. that guitar bit that lines up with that one machine sample that's playing throughout (3:43 if u don't know wtf i'm talking abt)... and i like the muffled yelling in the outro
there are songs on tds i guess i technically like listening to more but there's something about this one that makes it special to me. it's comforting somehow! the intro is meditative, and the meat of the song is cathartic. i like how we get the same muffled effect as on reptile, but here even the instrumentals are muffled
BURN!! one of my first favs. so good and aggressive. grraaahhhh
ok gonna try to limit myself to one song per release from here on out bc i really do love so many.....
so fun and funky. the nursery rhyme lyrics are a little silly but i love it. also love the part where he just screams
so many good things abt this one... the first things that made my ears perk up were the synths on the chorus
there's just a weight to the sound of this one that i'm obsessed with atm. also, the crunch is real good
ok already breaking my promise but the fragile has so many songs and i haaave to highlight please. underrated as hell!!! hearing that chorus for the first time changed my brain chemistry (<- could say this about a lot of nin stuff lmao)
breaking my promise AGAIN because LA MER...... such a beautiful song. does things to me. has made me cry. whatever........
gotta love only. the beat. the rambling verses. the chorus. the reference to down in it. fun!
i ran out of embeds but THAT WON'T STOP ME...
Me, I'm Not - i woke up with this song stuck in my head once and then i listened to year zero and finally Got It
Discipline - just a banger
Various Methods of Escape - hesitation marks is CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED
The Background World - i do kinda with there was a version with a shorter outro bc i looove this one but it's hard to put on playlists. great way to end the ep tho
God Break Down the Door - PLAY THAT SAX TRENT!! i also love his voice in this one
OK i'm done. i agonized over this and i still wanted to include more 😭😭 tysm for asking and thanks to anyone who got to the end of this post <3 ily
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Notes from 13.1.23
I still feel unsteady, like I'm on a boat and the world is the sea.
This morning I woke up to a text message, sent at 1:04am. I wrote, "Lately I have this sensation like I'm leaving my skull soon" and they replied, "You're unplugging the remaining cords?".
The other day, the pendant had fallen off but I was still wearing the necklace. The pendant loop where the necklace gets threaded into is a solid, continuous loop so how can that be? When I took off the necklace and tried to thread the pendant back on, it was impossible. Both the clasp and the fastening piece were too large to fit through the pendant loop. Reality glitch.
Everything keeps breaking down at work. We've had a power blackout, two fridge meltdowns, various machines not working, important software not getting fixed etc. A higher-up complained about our happy polaroid photos on the wall so I took them all down. A new doctor down the road is writing scripts trying to kill people. Many people rely on our automated medication re-fill service and we probably fill at least 30-40 orders daily in this way. So that’s like 200 people a week. The service has been down for a month but only a handful of people have come to order their medicines in person. Is everyone else just going cold-turkey? Where are all these people? They don't exist.
My memory has become awful. I look at things and people, confused. My mother looks too thin. My dad looks so fucking old all of a sudden. The two friends I still talk to are depressed and hopeless and want to exit the matrix. I begin to get sad but stop myself, I don't want to play anymore.
Anyway, none of it matters. Everything I just wrote is just another game I play and I'm bored. The dreams I record, boring. Another game. I'm in a dream and there's no separation between the dream and I. Reality is a fish bowl, which is God's eyeball. Everything is turning to dust because I made it so. I no longer want to act surprised.
And all these dreams about being late and not knowing what to wear, they're so pitiful. So mundane. So.... nothing. Can you imagine going to an alien planet and recounting that? “Hey A-dawg, yeah so toward the end of my human life I kept having dreams about not knowing what outfit to wear. I notice you're nude, do you perchance know what clothes are?". I’m literally so embarrassed. I’m laughing because that’s been the pinnacle of my dream life for months on end. This supposed stewing in the emotion of 'not being ready'. Wtf? I'm absolutely bored to tears. Yeah, I'll stop that now.
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omg i woke up and went on my morning scroll on tumblr to find you got a hate anon wtf 😭 im so sorry bby u literally do not deserve that at all!! if anon wouldn’t engage with u for a simple reason like that then they’re quite literally immature and missing out on some amazing writing umm wtf it’s not goofy and you’re beautiful so don’t let them get to you!!! as for cruel summer, it’s literally amazing and it’s some of your best writing yet you can really see the progression of your writing from the first chap of illicit affairs to the most recent of cruel summer. it’s so beautiful and well written! a lot of writers have been complaining about low engagement so i don’t think it’s a reflection of you! unfortunately the fandom is dying down and it’s finals season all throughout for many people so they’re busy with that as well but don’t give up bae 😭 if you have one fan just know that it’s ME! (stupid taylor pun to cheer you up)
now brb i haven’t been active much this week (life is busy 🙄) but i do have midnight rain and ghostin on my queue to read today
oh MY LOVE i missed you!!!! that's so so sweet thank you so much, it's really ok, it's been a weird day but all of you have made me feel infinitely better 🫶🏻
i actually agree w the cruel summer thing, i think it's my best writing too omgg i hate reading the first few illicit affairs chapters it's so true what they say, practice does indeed make perfect!!! and yes, i know that it's probably everyone, it's just mildly demoralising when my drabbles get like 500-1700 notes and the big series chapter get like 300 hahahaha, but i'm trying not to worry about it too much and just write it cause i love it, which is why i started it to begin with xxx
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING ILYSM!!! and let me know what you thought of ghostin cause i cried writing it hahahah
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Journal Entries. (2)
These are all mood journal entries (so super short / concise) of mine; where I chart my daily moods over a period of time.
These chronicle the time right before I scheduled an appointment with a psychiatrist (March) and when I started medication (antidepressants) for my depression / fatigue.
NOTE: These don't contain any long thoughts, literally just mood observations. But I think it does a pretty good job at showing just how inconsistent and sudden mood episodes / switching can be, and why they're so debilitating for trying to live a normal everyday life.
I added some gifs / pictures for rando visuals LOL. Truly complete the reading experience 🤪.
Part: [1], [2], [3], [4] Bipolar PPT Essay: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5], [6]
...
March 27th, 2021
Slept: 4am. Woke: 4pm
Mood: 2/10 Energy: Neutral (Maybe a 2/10)
I just feel empty. Like I need to go hibernate/go back to sleep. I’m not hungry. I’m not particularly motivated, and I kind of wish my sister would sit down and watch Hannibal with me and my mom, so it bums me out that she continues to put that off/ignore it.
I’m tired, man. It’s 8:21 pm, and I’m already thinking about going back to bed. When my family hangs out, I can be mindless and just let their good mood and entertainment take over. Other than that, I don’t feel particularly interested in doing anything, though I know I should. I have things to do. I don’t even feel bad about not doing anything. Just empty. Just ready to sleep.
March 28/29th, 2021:
:(
NOTE: Visual reference of what I looked like during this time
March 30th, 2021:
Bed: 6:30 pm. Woke: 4:30 am
Mood: -1/10
My mood can be directly related to how many gluten free brownies I’ve eaten today. (Thee ONLY thing I’ve eaten too might I add.) (it’s 5pm)
…
[Started taking meds]
Tuesday July 6th 2021 (6:03 pm) (12th)
NOTE: The number next to the date is the number of days since I started taking medication
took meds (YES)
I was kinda so depressed from the doctor’s visit and loss of money that even with the meds, it couldn’t stop me from sleeping. LOL.
Thursday July 8th 2021 (12:10 pm) (14th)
took meds: yes
I had enough energy to watch [my niece]
I had enough energy to have a mental breakdown.
Tuesday July 13th 2021 (19th)
took meds: yes (4:44 pm)
I feel so tired…fatigued….
Thursday, July 15th 2021 (21st)
took meds: yes (2:47)
Slept four hours
Overall energy: 3/10
Mood:4.5:10
Napped for three hours, had dinner + caffeinated tea and I feel shaky-awake.
Bruh I did not sleep (for the 16th) at all 💀💀💀.
Friday, July 16th, 2021 (22nd)
took meds: yes (12:06pm)
Haha going to bed right after I took my meds 😛🤷
Friday July 23rd, 2021 (31st)
took meds: yes (11:12 am)
This week idk. It’s been weird? Like tired and then also hyper fixated on nonsense =DD.
Why (2:40 pm) am I so tired? Don’t want to do anything.
(Currently Saturday morning, 6;22 am and I can’t sleep. I’m NOT tired. But I want to sleep.)
This is the WORST.
Saturday July 24th, 2021 (32nd)
took meds: 7:21 pm
I feel wired and tired and just like I can’t do anything even tho I have the energy to
Sunday July 25th, 2021 (33rd)
took meds: yes (11:26 am)
I know I woke up at 8pm today, but man I really don’t want to do SHIT. (And after drinking that nasty ass fiber supplement, I’m feeling tired =o. When will this insanity end?)
Tuesday July 27th 2021 (35th)
took meds: yes (10:04 am)
Mood (10:07 am): 7/10
Energy (10:07 am): 6.7/10
Wednesday July 28th 2021 (36th)
took meds: yes (4:23pm)
Literally went to sleep at 1am and woke up at 4:15 pm. Wtf? (I slept 16hrs LOL)
Mood (6:03 pm): 6.5/10
Energy (6:03 pm): 7.2/10
Today was a good day, I got more work done than yesterday :)).
(3:19, Thursday am): laid down and tried to sleep but now I feel more awake than ever.
Thursday July 29th 2021 (37th)
took meds: yes (4:29 pm)
Went to bed last night at 8am, woke up at 4:33 pm. (I hate not being able to fall asleep. Is it because I slept for 16 hrs the previous night? #sucks.)
Mood (7:44 pm): 7.5/10
Energy: (7:44 pm): 6.4/10
Friday July 30th 2021 (38th)
took meds: yes (8:15 pm)
I almost forgot to take them today ahhhhhh
Mood: 6/10
Energy: 6.7/10
Saturday July 31st 2021 (39th)
I have plenty of energy (I haven’t taken my meds yet) and yet I feel like I’m going insane. I. Can’t do anything right. Why why why why why must I continue to be a failure? I had something good going for me wtf is wrong with me? I don’t want to wake up anymore
Took meds: yes (11:44 am)
(Slept till 9pm, it’s 8:22 am Sunday and I’m still awake. But on the plus side I’m not careening dangerously into another mental breakdown.,,yet)
Sunday August 1st 2021 (40th)
took meds: yes (12:17 pm)
I haven’t slept yet today
General mood: hmmm 5/10 (12:18pm)
I do feel a little tired but that’s probably because I’ve been up since 9pm.
Generally tho I’m feeling pretty okay. (Guess we’ll see how the rest of today goes lol.)
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#yeah these are absolutely wild to read in hindsight#LOL#me: I never said this#the july 31st entry is fvcking wild#what even was going on that day???#writing#manic depression#bipolaire#actually bipolar#fvcking moodswings ⚡️✌️#a scoup of life 🔫🦆#my thougts#online diary#journal
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WTF . so i went back to sleep for a few hours(?) cuz i woke up earlu and then i took the d**** tht made me sleepy. anwyay. I HAD THE MOST DISTURBING DREAM/NIGHTMARE. so in the dream i was in this huge mansion-like? place, and there was a c+*pse. in my cupboard, along with tons of notes that dream-me had wrote at 11 which were extremely disturbing (abt c**pses n m*rder n all sorts of weird things and id talked abt how much i love it etc etc. anyway, so now dream-me,who is an adult now, needed to get rid of thr disgusting c*rpse woman with a sl/: th***t id apparently been GIVEN as a kid from some sicko or ordered online or found? IDK or smthn - for some reason it was hardly decomposed at all (dream logic) but it STUNK n it was all gross , anyway, dream me was very distressed of what to do with it as people were everywhere. i wanted to come clean about it but i was so scared of what’d happen, i almost told my mther but of course cpuldnt. then i called the police who kinda were psychologists? and i was talking to them abt how i love crime shows and mysteries n creepy stuff,just trying to come up with a convincing story so when i would lead them to the LITERAL C**PSE IM MY CUPBOARDthey wouldnt arrest me , but again, i was so terrified (because secretly it was all just because i was some sicko who enjoyed having c***ses around and all my disturbing notes were there that were very creepy and stuff). so i lead them through alot of rooms which somehow ended up in this building of this really rich or succesful guy, they kinda disapeared as i said nothing was wrong, but some spy kindof doctor guy? mightve known a bit more abt why i was there nd he led me througg dark rooks with books and rep silk curtains to help etc but people were everywhere in each room (so we had to keep going because there was nowhere secret) everytime i tried to somehow bring it up in a normal waytheir were bugged rooms ao i couldnt. anyway, i ended up saying nothings the matter and the whole time im super stressed abt someone finding it so i dont know what to do with it (also at one point , at the start of the dream i remember calling the c***se girl so ‘pretty’ and i found her even better as a c***se with a s**** thr**t .. DREAM ME WAS LEGIT FUCKED UP) so i was secretly sad abt having to get rid of her. i ended up brainstorming many idea i thought of in detail and ended up carrying the stinky,grey body to this hole id dug prior, that turned into a water-hole, threw her in there (as i walked to it i swear i talked to someone but i forgot some of the dream now) and i was so nervous, i started throwing bricks in the pond to cover her up, but of course i needed to drain the pond and cement it-that part was kinda blurry-anyway it endes up filled with bricks so i needed to take the top layer of bricks that stuck out the ground away and then i covered it with dirt to blend into the existing ground. because i was paranoid asf somebody would dig there and find it… that kinda ended the dream. WTF it was a nightmare
#dream diary#IT FELT 100% REAL N VIVID THATS WHAT SUCKED MOST#i was genuinly so paranoid and twisted and it was real for me wtf#i wokw up scared that i had the#c***** that i needed to hide#ive never been so relieved to not have tht or any creepy notes and demonic stuff before holy shit#it was so vivid and it was real for me just.. that was terrifying#is that what happens when u sleep on plls n ur in pain too?#anyway….#t/w?#sorry . it was 100% grosser and more detailed for me it wa sso badd#i was some sorta sicko lmao i was rich too.. n apparently in live with dead grls…… EW#also forgot to mention in the middle or earlier in the dream#i was reading thru all my old notes id written smiling and loving it they said gross stuff#think i just experienced dream vr of what a ncro sreal kllers life is like 😀
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long post ahead I'm sorry-
crack au where Jonah Magnus is a good guy but everything keeps going wrong and he spends all of his time running around trying to stop his employees from diving headfirst into their Fuck Up™ of the week
in this au Jonah is almost entirely incompetent but he's got the exasperated parent thing down enough to make up for his lack of braincells
he's also at least 7% dumber than he is in canon
s1 Jon: please call pest control there are so many worms
s1 Elias: I already did
Jon: and??
Elias: they ate them
Jon: the worms?
Elias: the pest control guys. the worms ate them
Elias spends the entirety of season 2 desperately trying to convince Jon that none of them killed Gertrude (in this au Gertrude just had a stroke or something in the tunnels). Elias stops Jon from destroying the table but a week later something heavy falls on it and the NotThem escapes anyway. Elias bashes in Leitner's head with a pipe after mistaking him for the monster and Jon gets framed.
now Elias has to convince this hunter that Jon is innocent while Jon runs around and harasses various fear avatars (who are all very amused with Elias' wayward Archivist). Jon assumes Elias knows nothing about all this bullshit because Elias is just his weird and uptight boss who accidentally killed someone, he can't possibly know that there are literally fear gods ruling over them
olive ⚰ has named the group 'Avatars ✨'
JMagnus 👀: Jude please don't hurt him. I'll explain everything when he gets back to the Institute.
🔥: too late
JMagnus 👀: What?
🔥: too late
🔥: burned him
[JMagnus 👀 is typing]
JMagnus 👀: Where is he now.
🔥: going to mike
JMagnus 👀: Mike Crew???
🔥: ya
Elias RACES to Mike's house but he. he fucking misses them. the Beholding helpfully tells him that they're all going back to the Institute so Basira and Daisy can interrogate him, which isn't ideal, he'd really like to not go to jail, so he drafts up an employment contract on the way back and barely manages to escape the whole thing with his life intact.
then he explains everything to Jon because if Jon is going to end up being the Archivist, being uninformed won't do. Jon becomes the Archivist completely on accident and Elias is desperately trying to make all of this work because, haha, the Unknowing is coming up, and Elias is not in the fucking mood to deal with clowns.
olive ⚰ has named the group 'all that is terror uwu'
spidey🕸: lmfaooo jonah how do you make an archivist on accident
JMagnus 👀: He stumbled into it. All I can do now is ensure he doesn't die.
JMagnus 👀: Or get further injured by the rest of you.
🔥: woops
🎭: hEy gUyS lOnG tiMe nO sEe
🎭: gEt iT eLiAs
🎭: sEe
JMagnus 👀: Beholding puns are not amusing from a manifestation of the Stranger.
🎭 has named the group 'eLiAs bE niCe tO niKoLa cHaLlEnGe'
🔥: haha
spidey🕸: I'm sure Nikola will be on her best behavior
🎭: yEaH i wOnT kiDnAp yOuR aRcHiViSt
[JMagnus 👀 is typing]
mike n ike: hey guys what'd I miss
🔥: arent you dead
mike n ike: yeh but I came back
JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA ORSINOV WHERE IS JONATHAN SIMS
🔥: can't you see haha
mike n ike: heh "see"
JMagnus 👀: NIKOLA
spidey🕸: wow he must be pissed
spidey🕸: he left out the punctuation
JMagnus 👀: I WILL BREAK ALL OF YOUR PLASTIC BONES WHERE'S MY ARCHIVIST
🎭 has left the chat.
JMagnus 👀: what the FUCK
since he's still a coward Elias sends Michael to go fetch Jon, only finding out after the fact that he very nearly almost signed Jon's death warrant. Elias is now speedrunning Jon's development because fuck the Unknowing is coming up really quickly and Tim is a self destructive mess and Melanie keeps trying to stab Elias and Martin is a pining idiot and goddammit he didn't sign up for this
Elias prepares Jon the best he can for the Unknowing, because even though he knows the ritual will fail, the Circus can still cause a considerable amount of damage and he needs them out of the way.
the Unknowing happens. Jon ends up in a wack ass coma, Tim is dead, Daisy's in the coffin, and Basira is starting to look like the better choice of Archivist because jesus christ Jon has no self preservation instinct. Elias doesn't get arrested this time around but his ex husband starts coming by the Institute and fucking with all his employees. and the Flesh is attacking. jesus. goddamn.
olive ⚰ has named the group 'bully elias'
JMagnus 👀: Why are you all so mean to me? I'm arguably the nicest one here.
🔥: ur joking right
Peter Lukas: you're not nice you didn't buy me an anniversary gift 😢😢😢
JMagnus 👀: I was busy.
Peter Lukas: doing what
JMagnus 👀: Stopping the Flesh from destroying my Institute. Besides, you didn't remember my birthday.
Peter Lukas: you're 200 years old how could I remember 😓
helen!!!!!: We All Know I'm The Nicest One Here!!
JMagnus 👀: How did you make your text that colorful?
helen!!!!!: IDK
JMagnus 👀: Liar.
helen!!!!!: That's Literally My Job
olive ⚰: hey eli your archivist just woke up I think
🔥: ew why
helen!!!!!: How Delightful!! Maybe I'll Throw Him A Glad You're Alive Party!!
olive ⚰: should we invite him to this chat since he's an avatar now
Peter Lukas: no 🙅 🚫❌
Peter Lukas: I hate archivists 😤😤
olive ⚰: still mad about gertrude huh
🔥: were all still mad about gertrude
🔥: but jons fine once you burn some manners into him
JMagnus 👀: Can you all please stop hurting Jon? Or talking about hurting him? I would like my Archivist to not acquire any more scars.
🔥: damn
Peter Lukas: damn 😔
Elias keeps trying to teach Jon how to pick certain victims to feed off of because personally he has no qualms about feeding from innocents but Jon!! actually trusts him!!! so Elias doesn't want to push Jon into making decisions that will offend his moral sensitivities.
things are actually going okay for a while. Elias starts going home at a reasonable time in the evenings and Jon is actually getting some sleep. and then-
Elias is having a nice dream about Peter trying to fish Simon Fairchild out of a sky filled with eyes when he abruptly sits up in bed, wide awake.
"Ah, fuck," he says to Peter, who is laying on the floor where it is Lonelier™. "Jon's doing something stupid. I Know it."
Peter's mumbled "isn't he always" goes unnoticed as Elias hurries to the Institute, where he finds a fucking rib on Jon's desk and the coffin in the middle of the room.
Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'
JMagnus 👀: What the fuck do I do?? I can't go into the Buried! Why is Jon so stupid? I didn't know he had zero braincells when I hired him!
🔥: ngl why havent you fired him yet
JMagnus 👀: Beholding won't let me. We're all bound to the Institute.
🔥: F
JMagnus 👀: Why are there no Buried avatars in here? Please someone help me.
mike n ike: lol the buried is gross why would anyone go down there
spidey🕸: does he have an anchor?
[JMagnus 👀 sent an image]
🔥: is that a fucking rib
spidey🕸: wow that's not a good anchor at all
spidey🕸: he needs someone he loves
JMagnus 👀: Thanks. Gtg.
spidey🕸: np
🔥: are we not going to talk about his rib
🔥: how the fuck did he get that out of his body
🔥: yall
🔥: YALL
it takes three days for Elias to find Martin.
"Please tell me why the fuck you're dabbling in the Lonely," Elias says as Martin steps sheepishly out of the fog.
"Ah. Well. Jon can't See into it very well and sometimes we like to spice up our se-"
"Stop before I have to gouge my eyes out again."
"A-Again-?"
Elias drags Martin back to the Institute. Martin starts setting tapes on the coffin because "Jon loves these" and Elias starts bashing his head into the wall.
Jon climbs out of the coffin with Daisy and Elias almost considers locking Jon in his office so the damn archivist can't do anything else ridiculous. instead, Elias very calmly takes Jon by the shoulders, and shakes him like a rag doll.
"Stop fucking with entities, you stupid, stupid man," Elias says, shaking Jon more viciously now.
after several hours of breathing exercises Elias returns to his house and doesn't take his Sight off of Jon for the rest of the night, which is a fun experience for Peter when he wakes up and finds Elias' bloodshot eyes staring directly at him in the morning.
JMagnus 👀 added Daisy to 'archivists ruin my sleep schedule and my sex life'
Peter Lukas has named the chat 'archivist hate club'
JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'shut up peter'
Peter Lukas has named the chat 'you love jon more than me'
JMagnus 👀 has named the chat 'I don't love either of you I'm heartless'
Peter Lukas has named the chat 'I want a divorce'
spidey🕸: jeez take your marital dispute elsewhere
spidey🕸 has named the chat 'lonelyeyes dni'
Daisy: wtf is this
mike n ike: it's a chat for avatars
mike n ike: and ex avatars ig
Daisy: didn't I kill you
mike n ike: yea
JMagnus 👀: Hello, Daisy. Welcome to the group chat.
Daisy: why is Jon not in here
Peter Lukas: because I hate him 😁
spidey🕸: Elias talks mad shit in here and Jon would get offended
Daisy: if you talk bad about Jon I'll rip your throat out
Daisy: :)
JMagnus 👀: Noted.
mike n ike: he's kinda rude tho
Daisy: I've killed you once
Elias' only goal now is to keep Jon and his assistants from pulling any more wild stunts without his supervision. his renewed involvement with the archival staff results in a few things he'd hoped to avoid: drink invites, physical contact (Martin is surprisingly quick to start hugging Elias once he realizes Elias won't stop him), and- shudder -feelings. because Elias genuinely cares about his staff and doesn't want any harm to befall them. especially Jon. Jon is his Archivist, the only one to ever succeed like this, and Elias will be damned if he lets anything happen to him.
"Why do you care?" Jon asks, once, compulsion thrumming like static on his tongue. "About us, I mean. I would've assumed you'd want to perform the Beholding's ritual."
Jonah Magnus attempted the Watcher's Crown once, when he was young and new. he'd brought his patron close, but not all the way through, and the backlash of power killed all the inmates at Millbank and severely crippled Jonah's connection to the Eye for months afterward. he grew to assume that the Beholding simply preferred the world as it was--ripe with fear for watching. it didn't need a ritual.
he instead dedicated himself to growing stronger, cultivating his Institute of knowledge, his stronghold. if he tore out a few people's eyes when he got too old, then, well, collateral. but he doesn't want the world to end, and knows now that no ritual will ever succeed unless it brings in all the Powers at once. and he doesn't want that either.
it's concerning to him that Jon seems to be collecting marks regardless. the only ones he's missing are the Dark and the Lonely, and Elias is determined to keep it that way.
he explains all of this to Jon who, to his credit, takes it pretty well. Jon is fascinated with historic life and Elias spends some time simply recounting tales of his youth, when he still bore the name Magnus.
they bond. it's good.
and one day Basira does a little too much research and discovers the dark sun waiting in Ny Alesund. she insists they need to go and see what's left of the People's Church, they need to ensure everything is taken care of. Jon is rather insistent too. and Elias wouldn't have been inclined to let them go, except Peter was finally home after weeks at sea, and it wasn't like Jon was defenseless, he could call Elias if anything went wrong...
so, very reluctantly, Elias gives them the all clear. Basira, Jon, and Martin head north, and Elias almost forgets they've gone when he arrives home and Peter already has dinner prepared.
Jon comes back marked by the Dark.
Elias curses himself, over and over, for being foolish enough to let them go, for not keeping a closer eye on them. he knows the ritual won't work unless a certain incantation is spoken, so he'll just have to keep world-ending written chants away from Jon. easy. and it's not like Jon will even get marked by the Lonely. Peter wouldn't.
(but Martin doesn't have the same level of control, and sometimes...)
it's an accident. Martin and Jon are testing it, pushing the boundaries, when Martin pulls them both into the Lonely. Elias threatens divorce until Peter caves and fetches them, but it's too late. Jon has been marked by all fourteen Powers.
Elias tells him, and warns him to check everything he reads.
helen!!!!! has named the chat 'apocalypse babey'
JMagnus 👀: How are you doing that?
JMagnus 👀: And the apocalypse is not imminent. I have the situation under control.
olive ⚰: ha yeah
JMagnus 👀: What do you mean by that?
olive ⚰: nothing
JMagnus 👀: Well, now I certainly think it's something.
olive ⚰: it's just
olive ⚰: don't you think it's kinda weird that @spidey🕸 has been offline for so long
🔥: thats weird shes always online
JMagnus 👀: Oliver, what are you implying?
olive ⚰: idk
olive ⚰: just weird, that's all
🔥: never good when the spiders are quiet
olive ⚰: hear hear
Elias gets a sinking feeling in his stomach, and beside him, Peter looks alarmed. meanwhile, in his flat with Martin making tea in the other room, Jon has a statement clutched in his grasp.
Hello, Jon.
I would apologize for the deception, but I'm afraid that's quite what I'm good at. I'm not one to monologue, that's more Jonah's shtick, so shall we get on with things?
I admit I underestimated Jonah Magnus. He's still remarkably easy to manipulate, but when he abandoned the Watcher's Crown ritual I knew I would have to take a different approach. The Mother is not so satisfied with the world as she may have insinuated. It is our turn to rise, Jon.
At the age of eight, you were marked by us. We sent you to the Magnus Institute in the hopes that a new Archivist would rekindle Jonah's desire to end the world. Unfortunately, it seemed as though he grew fond of you, and so we brought in a new plan. We marked you. One fear at a time. Jonah gave an admirable attempt at protecting you, but ultimately, he is an incompetent old fool, and I am a Weaver. Even Jonah Magnus dances to invisible strings.
Everyone underestimates a spider until it bites. Poison is poison, Jon, regardless of the medium in which it is served.
You will be safe in this new world. Martin, too. Perhaps even Jonah and his Lukas, if the Mother deems them worthy.
Now, please repeat after me...
Jon reads the ink scratched words, eyes welling up with tears and hands trembling, as thunder crashes outside and a howling gale picks up beyond the windows. Martin is shouting something, there's the crawling press of Elias' gaze as it rests heavy behind Jon, a silent observer. He can feel Elias' soothing presence, cool and calm in the raging storm.
Elias is still watching out for him.
Strings are wrapped around his wrists, jerking his arms up in a poor mockery of religious regard, strange hysterical laughter clawing out from his throat.
Jon's tears run red. Somewhere, Elias is still watching.
The door opens.
#woops this turned into angst? sorry#long post#tma#the magnus archives#magnuspod#elias bouchard#jonah magnus#jonathan sims#martin blackwood#peter lukas#daisy tonner#lonely eyes#jude perry#mike crew#simon fairchild#helen distortion#nikola orsinov#annabelle cane#oliver banks#basira hussain#tma au#crack#tma mini fic#the web#the eye#good guy elias
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who is here for a really bad and random high school au that is completely self indulgent yo
in which levi loses a bet with erwin and mike and is forced to audition for their school’s production of les misérables, he tries to mess up the audition but somehow he still sucks less than everyone so he ends up getting the part of marius??? and he can’t quit because it will influence negatively on his grades??? idk imagine levi reading the script without knowing shit about the play and reading all the cheesy lines for the first time and him hating every single thing about this situation until the first day of rehearsal where he meets the person who will play cosette, his weird schoolmate hanji who shares some classes with him who is always spending time in the school laboratory to do experiments and shit and oh. Oh.
at first dude wants to Scream because he just can’t bear the thought of acting like a booby who is madly in love (quoting old les mis memes from years ago here) with this wEiRdO who somehow has a pretty fucking amazing voice and wow maybe this weirdo,,,,, isn’t a bad weirdo. how bizzarre
Maybe just maybe as the days go by they start spending time together because hey! Looks like they are polar opposites but at the same time they have SO! MANY! things in common!!! and they eventually use rehearsing as an excuse to spend even more time together! and they bond over the fact that they’re supposed to play characters who are SO distant and different from how they are irl and levi finds out that hanji tried to audition as a joke but got the part bc she can actually S I N G like an angel and has a really solid head voice and range despite being a mezzo and cosette needing a soprano bc her parents forced her to take lessons, while levi despite having a decent singing voice actually had to have the songs lowered a lil bc bby is a baritone in a tenor role and has never had lessons and can’t support all the notes but fear not! Hanji offers to teach him some tips and tricks and whoops now they’re spending even more time together
And maybe just maybe it becomes easier for levi to sing “in my life she has burst like the music of angels, the light of the sun, and my life seems to stop as if something is over and something has scarcely begun”, maybe it comes natural for levi to stutter his line in “a heart full of love, a heart full of song, i’m doing everything all wrong” because?? he is looking right at hanji’s really pretty brown eyes and he can’t concentrate?? and he hates feeling like this lmaooo like sweaty palms butterflies fast heartbeat,,,,, boi is in love and he doesn’t realize it he just thinks he’s constipated
anyway let’s spice shit up and add erwin to the mix! erwin knows hanji, they’re childhood friends and they actually met through their singing lessons, the dude who was going to play enjolras gets idk chicken pox and the director is frantically looking for a substitute, levi wants to get back at erwin for making him audition in the first place (it’s all in good faith tho it’s a joke and they’re best friends dw he just wants to have a lil revenge) and suggests erwin, not knowing that he and hanji know each other and that he actually has been trained in singing so yeah erwin gets called for a last-minute audition and dude SMASHES it the director’s crying tears of joy they found their authentic tall hot blonde enjolras who looks like he’d be a great commander and people would die for him (;DDDDD) and during rehearsal levi finds erwin and hanji chatting like old friends!! and dude’s like wtf do u know each other??? and hanji says hell yes we studied together since we were children :D and just because i am huge huge erumike trash lemme say that mike got a lil part bc they needed ensemble members and he got to play grantaire so yeah enjoy both e/R and erumike there we go erwin gets to act with his boyfriend!! and they both watch levi and hanji during rehearsal and see how they obviously pine for each other but are far too oblivious for their own good so they decide here and there that they must get those two together bc it’s exHAUSTING to watch them stare lovingly into each other’s eyes and hold hands and kiss and then brush it off saying “it’s just acting we literally have to play a couple”
anyway the day of the show is here ladies and gentlemen levi is nervous af but doesn’t show it, he has to act like a lovesick fool in front of the whole school, the students, the teachers, the parents, EVERYONE and oh my god i hate it here might become his gratuation quote but all he needs is hanji backstage who squeezes his hand and whispers “can’t wait for you to sweep me off my feet shorty” which is extremely cringy but hanji did it on purpose just to see levi get embarassed and he does lmao so yeah the show goes amazingly! levi went flat a few times on the higher parts but it’s totally normal bby’s not trained and he did great everyone praise the birthday boy he deserves it
it’s after the show that things get a lil sad for our boi bc now he doesn’t have to rehearse anymore and is afraid that hanji won’t spend time with him anymore bc the show’s over :(( but fear NOT hanji plans on glueing herself to his side for the rest of the schoolyear and until they graduate and even after that and years later they’ve graduated college they’ve been living together for a while and they go to see the actual show on bway done by professionals and hanji acts weird all evening and OH as they’re going home she stops in the middle of the streets and whips out two lil matching rings,,,,,,, and says the cringiest cheesiest fucking thing in the world that has levi groaning and facepalming,,,,,, hanji says “will u be the marius to my cosette” and yeah levi just sighs and puts the ring on his finger and they smooch under the moonlight aw isn’t that CUTE and they lived happily ever after victor hugo is smiling down at them from the afterlife and patting himself on the back for helping them get together
NOW THERE’S TOO MUCH FLUFF AND I NEED ANGST TO BALANCE IT OUT so imagine this is also a reincarnation au and whenever levi sings “empty chairs at empty tables” he gets a weird feeling in his stomach and he gets really emotional singing “oh my friends my friends forgive me that i live and you are gone, there’s a grief that can’t be spoken, there’s a pain goes on and on” and “oh my friends my friends don’t ask me what your sacrifice was for, empty chairs at empty tables where my friends will sing no more”?? He blames it on the character getting to him too much but then he sees the scene where the students sing drink with me and the lyrics “drink with me to days gone by, can it be you fear to die, will the world remember you when you fall, could it be your death means nothing at all, is your life just one more lie” sound really familiar and resonate with him somehow as if he heard similar words somewhere else already, he sees erwin playing enjolras and being a commander giving orders and singing “let others rise to take our place until the earth is free”, he sees the scene where all the students get shot at the barricade and die one by one and he feels his head pulse and he has the strongest feeling of deja-vu and suddenly everything goes black and he wakes up in the infirmary with a very worried hanji sitting on a chair beside him and he really can’t explain what happened except that he feels like he just woke up from a very long dream and he feels like he fought through a battle and hanji just waves it off as him taking the stanislavski technique a bit too seriously for a high school play but the feeling doesn’t really ever go away and sticks with him even years later whenever he hears les mis being mentioned
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hi hi so first i really love your writing, it’s so comforting and lovely, and i look forward to every little bit of it!
and idk if you’ve already answered something like this but i was wondering about your thoughts on skam france season 5?
hello, thank u! 🖤🖤🖤
and i have talked a bit about skam france s5 when i was watching it live but im more than happy to talk about it again & put all of my thoughts into one post JFJSJD.
let me just put a disclaimer here for abuse, both personal & what was shown in the season. also adding a read more because this got LONG, i am so sorry. i talk a lot </3 (ignore the spelling errors, i literally woke up and saw this anon and jumped out of bed to answer dflkgjkdlg)
also! i talk about deafness as a disability in this but that’s my own personal experience & what was written into the season. we know arthur sees it as a disability because he was raised in a hearing society as a hearing person. not all D/deaf people believe this!! this isn’t universal.
first things first, i just wanted to let people know these feelings come from a very personal place. i lost my hearing similarly to arthur — i was beaten as a young child and as the years have gone on and i’ve grown, my hearing has gotten worse. i was hard of hearing with mild to moderate hearing loss in both ears and now i call myself deaf because i have severe hearing loss in my left ear & i am completely deaf in my right ear. (don’t worry about being apologetic or anything! i’m very open about how i lost my hearing because although it’s sad & traumatic, it’s talking about how trauma and disabilities are often more intertwined than people realize. you don’t ever see a disabled person thriving in their natural environment. you see traumatized disabled people learning how to survive.)
i don’t have problems with how arthur lost his hearing. i think it’s a very important story to tell & it’s one that does occur — even if people don’t recognize it. it added to the fear and isolation he felt during his season because he was suddenly extremely disconnected from his peers and the people he called his best friends.
i also absolutely ADORE noee and camille. having a Deaf* woman who was as sassy and blunt and straight-forward as she was is a good thing. people often talk about how D/deaf individuals can come across as rude or unattentive or too blunt and it can be true but when people often talk about it, they do it in a rude/offensive manner! noee did it in a manner that wasn’t stereotypical and felt real. she also had the distain towards hearing people because they continually traumatized & belittled her and they showed that in a way that you knew was justified. she had been hurt by these people and she knew what arthur was experiencing, hence why she was so warm around him. having a Deaf love interest who wasn’t a hearing-people pleaser or someone who needed approval from hearing people was so good because it helped add layers of her own identity that the audience may not even realize exists.
camille as well. having a hard of hearing gay (queer? i can’t remember what he labelled himself as) person on screen without fetishism or trauma porn was refreshing. that doesn’t happen and seeing it was?? amazing. he was able to have fun, be himself, etc. also him acting as a connector between noee and arthur is a reality as well. he exists inbetween both of their worlds and while it’s clear that he is comfortable and okay with it, it’s a reality that often stems into feelings of anger and hurt. (as shown in arthur!) it’s good to see a hard of hearing person who doesn’t feel ostracized from the Deaf community & or the hearing community. he’s just vibing!
the isolation that arthur felt. the lonelines, the pain, the fear—all of it is a reality of the situation he was in. even with his friends attempting to support him in the ways they knew how, he still felt alone. having noee and camille there was such a good!! good thing!!! to have. the way noee criticized his friends, the way ARTHUR eventually yelled at them (especially lucas, like wtf was up his ass), the growth of arthur from clinging onto his fantasy world and accepting himself. i geniunely enjoyed these aspects.
NOW ONTO MY CRITICISMS.
my biggest one is the abuse clip. it was absolutely unnecessary for them to include the audio (and the shadowing) of arthur’s violent abuse. i understand they needed to potray his dad’s behaviours but there were many other ways to go about it that doesn’t re-traumatize people. i rarely rarely get triggered by things due to desensitization & repression and this made me extremely nauseous and it caused me to spiral into memories of my own abuse. yes, i understand the story of arthur’s dad being the villain and contributing to the trauma. no, it did not need to be done in this way.
also the way it was brushed aside & arthur forgave him after the car accident. i know it’s contributing to the cycle of abuse and it will continue after the seasons have passed but i think it should have had more fear, confusion or anger. we could see that arthur hated his father, just by how he constantly attempted to fight back and argue. i understand that it was him acting from a place of survival and trying to mediate to make things calmer but this is his perspective—we could have felt the underlying emotions or seen a brief moment where arthur let his anger take over when he was alone. the abuse was written solely for hearing people. it was trauma porn. it was used as a way to make people feel sorry for arthur and to weaken him. it wasn’t written as integrated into the plot as it should have been and was brought up only to deter the plot away from his cheating. it was one of the things that made it clear the plot was more written for hearing people than for deaf people.
(again, it’s not the actual story i’m criticizing. it’s how they integrated it.)
the second was noee using her voice to essentially beg arthur to love her. using her voice was a moment of vulnerability and fear that they could have either: a. used in a different manner or b. not included at ALL. i am an oral deaf person—i was raised in a hearing environment & i went to speech thrapy for many, many years. i use my voice a lot. however, whenever i am without my hearing aid and i am tired, i don’t often use my voice because i am insecure about my deaf accent.
noee doesn’t use her voice at all. she has talked about how using only sign language gives her power and stregethnes her identity in a way that the hearing world would never be able to. it was a pivotal moment of her own identity and growth and they threw it out the window to tell arthur she loved him. he rejected her so she used her voice, something that reminds her of her trauma and pain, to beg him to love her back.
another is how alexia said that she wasn’t wired to love disabled people. i love alexia as well, except for this alone was enough to hurt my opinion of her. it’s a reality of abled people—they often act like loving a disabled person is more work and view disabled people as less than to avoid seeing them as potential lovers/friends/etc. my main problem is the fact it wasn’t ever properly addressed and they used it as a plot device after she had been nothing but loving and supportive to arthur during the beginning of his journey. she was so, so loving and caring and they could have used to as a way to talk about how relationships and perspective changes rather having her just be straight up ableist.
when arthur first got his hearing aids, he got smaller ones that were less visible to avoid having other people see. this is a big example of internalized ableism and is a very important point but they never touched on it again. i think it would have been more personal and monumental of his growth to have him go back & change the hearing aids he uses to better aid him in his day-to-day rather than aid his desire to be hearing-passing. i just wanted to see continuation of this.
the love triangle. ABSOLUTELY USELESS. i love both alexia and noee as love interests. they are well-developed women who both had vulnerable moments in the season where they talked about their insecurities and were vulnerable and still had arthur reject/use them both. this is more of a fandom criticism but the love triangle was used solely to demonize noee while they continued to put arthur on a pedestal. the season could have gone either/or with them as love interests or not at all. the season was meant to focus on his journey as a now disabled person and the love triangle took up a large portion of that.
(don’t think i’ve forgotten about people calling others fatphobic/biphobic for preferring noee as a love interest)
this isn’t entirely a criticism but a good point to note. i don’t think skam france had a plan in regards to season five when they casted arthur but he should have been played by a hard of hearing person and there should have been foreshadowing in the earlier seasons for this. i think arthur’s actor did a fantastic job with the content he was given but it would have been a bit more personal if played by a truly deaf/hoh person. noee’s actress talked about this! she said how good of an opportunity it was for season five to occur because it’s extremely rare for deaf people to get opportunities and casting designed for them. having a main actress talk about this and still having the main actor being abled is a bit? bad taste. i just think it’s a product of lack of planning, is all.
ALSO THE CAR CRASH????? this isn’t a big criticism, i’m just like HUH? me & arthur really out hear being deaf and getting hit by cars ig. arthur kinnie
*definitions that add as to why i use deaf & Deaf in this piece.*
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*CRACKS KNUCKLES*
okay. ive decided im going to discontinue the jirou x reader fanfic "wrong number, my bad" for a number of reasons that i will get into in a bit. i have also, however, decided to create an smau for hawks (probably not, but who ive decided on for now) x reader, based on something more personal about me. the goal of the story being more personal is to give me a better layout for how it should continue on and the feelings can be more genuine than me making up stories on a whim and hoping they work. i will give out the plan for wnmb, however, so that anybody interested can still understand how the story wouldve ended.
now as for why im abandoning wnmb.
1. i dont feel the energy to write it anymore. i dont like where the story is going, and with my current mental state and status at school, i dont have the ability to start over or try again. i font have the ideas for the story and just dont vibe with it.
2. mental reasons. i can't stick to the schedule i made for the story as well as i used to be able to, and also personal mental health reasons that sort of keep me from doing so.
3. there are personal life reasons that cause this, but jirou has slowly evolved into somewhat of a discomfort character. i dont want to get into the reasons as to why, but i dont like her that much and bad memories come up whenever i try to sit with her in my head for too long.
thats really all for why i dont want to continue wnmb, but for anybody interested, here was the plan as to how the story was planned out (via notes):
- [x] yn and mina and ochaco do be talking doe
- [x] basically introductions
- [x] same with jirou baku toko yaomomo and denks
- [x] but THEN
- [x] yn and jirou talk :DDD
- [x] jirou basically says that theyre not annoying
- [x] yn says their typical clown shit
- [x] "aidjskjdh thanks you daddy 🥺"
- [x] jirou doesnt answer for a wholeass hour
- [x] "sorry had to go to church and clense from that sin"
- [x] "o-oh okay 😔 daddy doesnt love me"
- [x] "there are so many things wrong with that"
- [x] "😳😳😳"
- [x] "im starting to wish that i blocked you"
- [x] "nONONONONO IM SORRY"
- [x] "nyways what did you wanna talk about d-"
- [x] "......."
- [x] "arling :)))"
- [x] poor jirou just wanted to know about who they are
- [x] "name, hobby, talent, interests, whatever i just wanna know about you"
- [x] yn hops over to twitter all "omg theyre so sweet 🥺🥺🥺"
- [x] naturally ochaco and mina are all "fake bestie wtf are u talking about"
- [x] yn is laughing awkwardly and is just,,, "oh nothing 😳😳"
- [x] (nobody believes them)
- [x] then they ask about jirou but she has to give false info
- [x] except for her gender its fine if she says that
- [x] she hops over to the squad
- [x] panicking
- [x] "guys wtf i think i just committed a crime"
- [x] "nono youre fine what happened"
- [x] "i made a fake identity so the person who contacted me wouldnt know it was me"
- [x] "do they even know you???"
- [x] "YES they said they really liked our music and im PANICKING"
- [x] "okok calm down its not illegal or anything"
- [x] "i think"
- [x] "YOU T H I N K ? "
- [x] "yeah sorry :// but like you did this to yourself lmaooo"
- [x] jirou awkwardly hops back to yn
- [x] "yeah i think that band is pretty cool too im actually friends with some of them"
- [x] i mean its not false
- [x] ":ooo omg rlly?????? theyre so cool aaa 🥺🥺 maybe we can meet one day at one of their concerts 👉👈 jkjk...... unless 😳"
- [x] little did they know
- [x] LMAOO jk
- [x] kinda
- [ ] they end up talking for hoursss and mina and ochaco ask one day if they wanna hang out
- [ ] theyre all "hell yesss 🥴 where we goin??"
- [ ] a bar. they go to a fucking bar. (btw its to celebrate minas new job thingyyy)
- [ ] drink responsible kiddosss
- [ ] nyways afterwards she ends up talking to jirou bout how shes super nice and would love to be friends with her more
- [ ] jirou has gay panic tm
- [ ] like actually theyre rlly cute fuck
- [ ] yn asks if they can call since theyve never heard her voice or seen her
- [ ] jirous all ".....theyre drunk they wont recognize my voice"
- [ ] also shes rlly groggy since its TWO IN THE DAMN MORNING
- [ ] jirou calls her and yn asks if she wants to meet someday bby doesnt understand okay
- [ ] jirou panics and asks if they can get to know each other more first
- [ ] yn is hurt but understands and agrees
- [ ] yn asks to play 20 questions
- [ ] jirou asks if theyre a preteen jokingly
- [ ] yn whines and says its either that or a drinking game
- [ ] not wanting yn to drink anymore, she sighs and agrees
- [ ] she ends up finding out:
1. yn has a cat
2.
3. thats it, yn passed out
- [ ] jirou fell asleep on call later nd they didnt hang up until jirou woke up later and realized that awake yn would recognize her
- [ ] she quickly hung up and then sent them a good morning text
- [ ] bitches be playin
- [ ] but yn doesnt mind theyre a gay, dumb clown
- [ ] yn asks what minas job was since they never found out- god their dumb
- [ ] mina says its the typical teaching thing but its for ome of yns favorite bands
- [ ] "ooh, who are they?"
- [ ] "they said their name was blackbear! pretty sure youve talked about them some times before"
- [ ] "omygod mina you dont understnad if you could somehow find a way for me to find them i would literally marry u"
- [ ] "please dont. but ill try boo dw"
- [ ] she ends up doing it
- [ ] but inbetween then they end up getting rlly close like numerous calls and texts and learning more about each other until they realize they like her
- [ ] yn is super happy all "bro u guys are so awesome"
- [ ] bby girl is vibrating.
- [ ] LMAOO YOU WANNA KNOW JOWNTHEY FIND OUT
- [ ] THEY AND JIROU END UP BECOMING RLLY CLOSE LIKE THEY FRIENDSSSS
- [ ] AND SHE ASKS FOR THEIR NUMBER
- [ ] THEIR STILL JITTERY BTW SO THEYRE LIKE WOAH RLLY???? ID LOVE TO BRO
- [ ] AND JIROU PUTS HER NUMBER IN YNS PHONE AND SEES THE NAME "nd strikes" COME UP ND SHES LIKE "HUH MUST BE A GLITCH"
- [ ] BUT YNS ALL
- [ ] "HAHA SOMEONE NAMED "BBY" CAME UP WHEN I TYPED IN MY NUMBER I WONDER WHO THAT IS"
- [ ] "MAYBE I TYPED IT WRONG" CAUSE BBY IS DUMB
- [ ] MEANWHILE JIROU IS PANICKED CAUSE "HOLY FUCKING SHIT THEYRE BBY"
- [ ] SO SHE HANDS THEM THIER PHONE BACK AWKWARDLY AND YN SEES THEIR OLD MESSAGES AND PANICKS
- [ ] "HOLD UP IS STARS JIROU????? HAHHA NO IM BLIND AN D DUMB SURELY NOT"
- [ ] SO THEYRE LIKE "DID U EVER TELL ANYONE UR NAME IS STARS"
- [ ] AND JIROU JUST SIGHS AND IS CLEARLY IN PAIN AND IS JUST "YEAH THATS ME"
- [ ] ALL YN DOES IS LAUGH AND GO "YO THATS KINDA GAY"
- [ ] JIROU IS PAINED
- [ ] LIKE SHE THINKS THEIR GONNA HATE HER BUT????? NO??????????? SHES CONFUSED LMAOO
- [ ] yn blinks and realizes she should probably confess or smth
- [ ] "uhm, jirou?"
- [ ] "yeah whats up?"
- [ ] "aCTUALLY NVM ILL TELL YOU LATER-"
- [ ] later in a call they say it
- [ ] jirou is rlly smart and all but her first thought was "its cause of who i am. this happened immediately after."
- [ ] some part of her is screaming that its feelings and that she likes them back but she ignores it.
- [ ] like this has to be bad right???
- [ ] nyways jirou ghosts her like a clown and rants to the band b-wordssss gc
- [ ] yn cries to the babiest of the babies 🥺🥺🥺 gc
- [ ] yn asks if she just doesnt care about them now that shes seen them
- [ ] jirou realizes "wait fuck maybe im wrong"
- [ ] spoiler alert: she is
- [ ] she sort of goes "i didnt rlly think that you actually liked me actually
- [ ] yn starts crying
- [ ] (this is over call btw)
- [ ] "why tf wouldnt i?!"
- [ ] "bc you confessed right after you knew who i was"
- [ ] "istfg so our conversations just dont matter ig"
- [ ] jirou is confused
- [ ] like??? she gets that theyre mad but she does understand why so much
- [ ] "listen i just need to know if you like me back or not please. before i start crying again."
- [ ] she decided to not comment on how they were already crying
- [ ] "yes i like you okay"
- [ ] "do you actually?"
- [ ] "yes. istag that i actually like you and im not shitting u. if you want ill go there rn"
- [ ] ".....yes pls"
- [ ] "i need your address though"
- [ ] "oh yeah– its *address*"
- [ ] jirou arrives all nervous and shit
i didn't have anything planned out after that, but it was probably gonna be a kiss scene or something idk
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Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 6x11 Tougher than the Rest
August, I love you but please help this kid.
Oh, maybe he did?
That lady looks a lot like Umbridge. That reminds me, gonna watch Order of the Phoenix for the gazillionth time tonight! It’s probably my least favourite Potter movie apart from the end but my literal ocd ass has gotta watch them in order. It’s one of my favourite Potter books though. I love how long it is!
I digress. Back to the rewatch!
So, is Emma technically Wish Henry’s mother as well, since she is also Wish Emma?
Yes, why didn’t he age?
There’s no time to wake up Snow, Killian. The hooded figure is out there right now!
Oh! Charming’s wish brought Gideon there!
Poor Gideon is so traumatised by the Black Fairy. I don’t remember/understand why she was so cruel to him. I thought her goal was protecting Rumple. So why torment her grandson?
I don’t think that’s how being a Savior works. I don’t think killing the Savior would make Gideon a Savior. Surely that goes against everything a Savior stands for.
Does Emma still have the memories of her life in the Wish Realm?
Oh! She does! That’s a lot of jumbled up memories in her head. Does she have memories from the Heroes and Villains world too?
How the hell did Regina have time to right that long ass note in the two seconds she was off camera?? Magic, I guess.
Regina should have used a glamour spell.
How did that tree manage to survive after it was cut down for the first wardrobe? Must be magic!
Wish Hook!
Gideon, you angsty boy.
Wtf Rumple!! Why are you hitting your son?! He would never have done that to Baelfire. It seems kinda out of character. He’s not gonna win Gideon’s affections or get him to listen to him that way.
I wonder if the Wish Hook storyline was planned yet.
Okay, so a bit on my thoughts on the Wish Realm and Wish Hook plot holes: When the Evil Queen made the wish on behalf of Emma that supposedly created the Wish Realm she must have made it many years in the past as compared to the Wish Realm we see in 6x10 and 6x11. What I mean is, when the Evil Queen makes the wish, Emma not only ends up in a different realm, she ends up at least 10 years in the future. Why at least ten years? The only way the Wish Realm could have been created by a wish is if it was created before Alice was born. The only way to make that the case is if Emma created that place at least 10 years before visiting because Wish Hook looks older than he did when he was forced away from Alice in ‘Knightfall’. The reason the Wish Realm has to have been created before Alice was born (I’m still not entirely convinced it didn’t always exist) is because Gothel is Alice’s biological mother and Gothel is not from the Wish Realm so Alice cannot have been created by a wish. If Wish Hook was created by a wish, then that wish had to have been made at least 10 years before the events of 6x10 and 6x11. And Wish Hook likely did a little time travelling himself. I think Emma travelled 20 years into the future and Hook travelled 10 years into the future. I explain this more in my s7 timeline meta here.
Wish Pinocchio: “I’m sorry you put your faith in me, Emma. I hope you never make that mistake again.” Wtf Pinocchio?! That was so ominous. What does it mean?! Does she ever put her faith in any version of him again?! Is he suggesting he’s been shady in all realms all along??
Is it bad that I prefer this Robin Hood to the one Regina fell in love with? He’s kind of what I wanted from the other one, who started off a bit like this, someone a bit more villainous to pair with Regina. It makes him more interesting.
What happened to Wish Belle is so awful.
That is an inconsistency. A true love’s kiss on the forehead should have awoken Snow and made David sleep, like Emma’s true love’s kiss to Henry’s forehead woke him.
Regina certainly seems to see this Robin as real, going so far as to care about his happiness. Why couldn’t she have given Wish Snowing the sane courtesy?
Regina came just in time.
More than two can go through this wardrobe?
Do they ever explain why this Robin hasn’t aged? Is he using the six-leaf clover as a glamour? But then there would have to be a Wish Oz. Maybe it is because part of Robin’s soul lives on in Wish Robin as they suggested. That’s cool. They are pretty different though so it’s hard to believe.
Omg wish Pinocchio is right! Emma should have left the sword there! It’s unlikely Gideon would be able to find it! Why didn’t you Emma?
I wonder if Regina thinks the reason Wish Robin didn’t come through the wardrobe at the same time of her was because he wasn’t real or because he just didn’t wanna come.
Storybrooke looks huge from up there.
I told Emma she should have left the sword!
I love sword fights though!
Uh oh! He’s got the sword!
Why does Gideon always feel like he belongs in Star Wars to me? I don’t even know, I know very little about Star Wars, he just looks like a Star Wars villain from what I’ve seen.
Use your magic Emma!
That was cool! Gideon’s magic is so pretty.
She broke the sword!
“Daaaaad, I don’t need your help.” hehe.
Isn’t it a bit weird to kinda grab an alternate version of your dead significant other to potentially be your replacement boyfriend? Idk, feels a bit weird but if that’s your jam, Regina, go for it, girl!
How freaking loud is that typewriter if you can hear it down the street, lol?
Oh, he did tell her to go to the police station as a kid.
Belle is so freaking done with everything.
My boy Gideon’s just having a tantrum at the clock tower. That poor clocktower’s been through a lot.
Gideon say grrrrrr.
#ouat 6x11#6x11 tougher than the rest#ouat#once upon a time#emma swan#regina mills#ouat gideon#gideon gold#wish hook#ouat rewatch#ouat rewatch 2019
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Alright, so... this is the utterly self-indulgent essay. XD
For any non-Italian readers: remember the introductory note on my translation of Goofy and The Perfect New Year’s Eve Handbook? About Italian Goofy (Pippo) having a huuuuuuuuuge family? Well, everyone in this family is, ofc, either just as quirky or nearly as quriky as Goofy himself... which makes for a lot of interesting personalities. Like Goofy's cousin, Indiana Pipps. Or Arizona Goof, in English. Presumably to make the joke at least a little bit subtler.
... yes, "the joke" is that he's literally an Indiana Jones parody. Who happens to be related to Goofy and look almost exactly (or exactly, depending on the story) like him. He's an "adventure archaeologist" who spends most of his time scouring South American jungles for lost pre-Colombian temples full of traps and treasure, travelling through scorching deserts to find legendary Egyptian ruins, and stumbling into fantarchaeology/Ancient Aliens/magical/mystical relics. He's brave, smart, passionate, confident to the point of being actually a bit arrogant, kind of reckless and hotheaded, a little rough, rather snarky, and has a strong sense of justice... and a bunch of strange habits and quirks. Like his penchant from entering buildings from the window rather than from the door (because that would be too easy), his preference for sleeping bags over beds and tents over houses (though he does have a house just out of Mouseton... in a dangerous swamp complete with crocodiles), his dislike and distrust for city life in general, and his love for a particular brand of strong-flavored liquorice candies called "Negritas" that almost everyone else finds adsolutely disgusting. Through the years, he's fallen in love with a bunch of female characters (starting with Clarabelle Cow, or so the internet tells me... Goof guys trying to steal her away from Horace must be a bizarre family tradition) and he's had a bunch of female characters fall in love with him, as you can expect considering he's the Dr. Jones of the Mouseverse and everything. But none of these crushes has ever really gone anywhere... whether because of a bout of obliviousness preventing him from realizing his temporary sidekick had been head over heels for him the whole time (sorry, Martina), a misguided attempt to present as a more traditional academic for a nerdy professor who unexpectedly turned out to be really into the adventurer type, or fairy law forbidding him to marry his French fairy sweetheart (yup, that happened).
Ironically, his most constant and long-lasting is with his nemesis, Dr. Kranz. (Nope, no name given.) (Yes, this is going to be an "enemies to lovers" kinda thing... except with, like, A Twist. So if you don't like that kind of dynamic or think people shouldn’t like messed-up ships or anything like that, you'd probably better stop reading.)
Kranz and Indiana appeared together in Indiana's first story, Mickey and Goofy in: Raiders of the Lost Temple by Bruno Sarda, and have been chasing each other for one reason or another ever since. Kranz is an adventure archaeologist, too, but despite being (almost) as skilled and succesful at his job as Indiana, he spends an awful lot of time following him around and trying to steal his discoveries... most often by putting on some disguise, stalking him from a distance, and popping out of nowhere with a gun and a mocking smirk as soon as Indiana finds the hidden lost idol/treasure/artifact/city.
Despite some weird occasional foray into the world of attempted world domination, Kranz is (mostly) into the whole villain business for the money and the fame. The money because he loves luxury (especially fast cars and five-star hotels) and sells a good chunk of what he finds or steals to unscrupulous clients or outright villainous organizations to afford to live the good life, and the fame because he has a big ego and (somehow, still) a reputation as a respectable archaeologist that feeds into it... and he's always trying to overshadow Indiana, because he hates being always second best to him. Which is just as well, because Indiana hates his attempts to steal his own discoveries, his criminal activities, his utter lack of ethics, and his greed. Whenever they see each other without either of them ending up on the wrong end of a gun or tied up for the local authorities to find, they usually still end up at each other's throat anyway. Or at least, insulting and teasing each other the whole time.
Except... it wasn't always like that. Back in the day, Indiana and Kranz were actually students in the same college. And roommates (YES, "and they were roommates!"). And "inseparable" best friends who got along very well despite their differences and genuinely cared for each other. And after graduating, even adventuring partners, at least occasionally. Kranz already loved money and luxury, and Indiana had already started to develop his simpler yet more bizarre tastes, but they were good together.
There's actually a recent mini-series about their college years written by Bruno Sarda himself, Young Indiana. It's pretty much a shipper's delight, as it contains high amounts of fluff, overdramatic (and suspiciously coupley imho) friendship drama with a happy ending, hugs, kisses, straight love drama taking a backseat as the focus stays firmly on the friendship drama, and a certain amount of foreshadowing of (angsty) things to come. But their old friendship was already an established fact before that...
Like in the story Indiana Pipps and the Return of Doctor Kranz, where Indiana ends up telling Mickey the story of how they parted ways and became enemies. Which was apparently inspired by something that happened in the Martin Mystère comics, but I've never read them so I wouldn't know. Long story short, Indiana and Kranz where on an expedition together when they unexpectedly found an absurdly powerful ray gun left behind by Ancient Aliens. As it turned out, by that point Kranz had already been in contact with a shady organization that would have paid good money for something like that, so he proposed they should sell the gun to them and share the profits of the sale. Indiana immediately opposed the idea, of course, being all like, "wtf dude idk about YOU apparently but I have morals and also a sense of professional ethics"... so Kranz knocked him out, took the gun, wrote him a note about how you shouldn't slap good luck away, and fled to the other side of the world, where a man from the organization would await him. But when Indiana woke up, he immediately started trying to track him, eventually ruining the sale right before it could go through and throwing the gun into the sea, where it would never be found again. At that point, Kranz swore he'd have his revenge on him by basically costantly tailing him and ruining his life and career, never leaving him a moment of peace.
Which he's sometimes been pretty succesful at, considering there's been a whole story about Indiana being so stressed due to Kranz appearing out of the blue to ruin his day, it turns into some sort of bizarre mania where he believes everyone and anyone is secretly Kranz in disguise. However, the same story also has Kranz being so stressed due to Indiana constantly foiling his schemes that he goes on a cruise to just forget about him and relax for a while... and ends up jumping off the ship when he mistakenly believes Indiana might be on it, too. So, that's a two-way street, I guess.
So, basically... friends to enemies, genuine affection being ruined by greed and ambition and turning into resentment and spite and straight-up hatred, a degree of mutual obsession and general unhealthiness. But that's not really all there is to their relationship.
There's also stories where they're forced to collaborate to reach the same goal and have to behave more or less civilly, or even where they choose to do so willingly and end up actually still being a good team. There's stories where getting good results while working together makes them behave almost amicably, as much as they're able or willing to. Stories where they acknowledge their past together, if not their old friendship, and even the similarities between them. Stories where they find themselves with someone they both look down down or hate even more than each other, and find some common ground insulting and snarking at them in-between doing the same to each other. Where they grudgingly help each other out.
And then, there's Indiana Pipps e il soccorso obbligato. The story I blame for getting me into this ship in the frist place, when I could be here reading and writing Scroldie or Dimeshipping or Donsy or Mickey/Minnie or literally any other of my Disney comics ships that people other than me actually ship.
In Il soccorso obbligato, Kranz gets kidnapped by some shady guys while he's working on a revolutionary archaeological discovery, except he's not been kidnapped and he's not actually close to finding anything that awesome, and it's all just a convoluted trap to get back at Indiana for laughing at him one time because he's terrible. But Indiana doesn't know that, and so he and Mickey rush to the rescue and fly to a whole other continent to find him...
That story really has everything. From Kranz coming up with a ridiculous and ridiculously cruel plan because he might be used to Indiana insulting him and mocking him but sometimes his former friend laughing at him and acting all superior and better than him still hurts, to Indiana actually falling for it and trying to justify to himself why he does, telling himself that after so many years spent (fighting) together there's a bond between them and he owes it to Kranz... and admitting he’s worried about him. From Indiana still remembering little details about Kranz and their past together and looking almost fond as he talks about them, to Kranz being both petty and obsessed enough to leave a journal full of insults to Indiana for him to find as a clue and setting his password to a mocking phrase about him (and Indiana, who should expect some stuff like that or at least be used to it, still getting riled up and planning on giving Kranz an earful when he finds him). From Kranz assuming Indiana would only come save him if he threw an imaginary fantarchaeological discovery into the mix because then Indiana wouldn't be able to resist his "archaeological curiosity", to Indiana considering said discovery more of a secondary concern and actually regretting and feeling almost guilty for mocking Kranz the last time they saw each other before the supposed kidnapping... and recklessly, unthinkingly running over a thin ice bridge over a gaping chasm just to get to him, throwing all caution to the wind even as he tells himself he doesn't even know why he's doing it. And the way they still KNOW each other despite everything that happened, maybe even because of everything that happened! The angst! The complicated, unspoken, repressed things! Being a softie and a sap, I'm always a sucker for "the hero and the villain actually have a bond and care for each other on some level even if it's not the healthiest or most normal thing"... but considering the history between these two? Though the story in itself is very fun and entertaining, it never fails to break my heart a little.
And in all honesty, I might end up writing fanfictions about them. Fanfictions full of angst and pining and conflicted feelings and "we were never lovers but oh god we could have been --- if you hadn't screwed up everything in the end, at least" college stuff with a mess of obliviousness and repressed feelings, most likely.
#disney comics#mouseverse#mickey mouse comics#indiana pipps x kranz#arizona goof x kranz#indiana pipps#arizona goof#dr kranz#the angsty disaster archaeologist not boyfriends project#can you believe i'm gonna have to modify that tag on all my posts about these two because tumblr hates dashes lol#how goofy's indiana jones parody and his usually-not-that-well-handled nemesis ruined my life: a history#PLEASE talk to me about these two if anything in this post sparked your interest
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immj2 13.10.20 lb
askjdshkfjdhkfkjdhfkj vansh being told the number of things that went wrong in the 24ish hours he wasn't in this house of horrors and his face is like THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DON'T LEAVE YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES ALONE
lol, like i said in the firsttttttttt lb, vansh is taking this news realllllllll chill. he's not mad at riddhima at allllllllll for keeping all this from him.
saasuji, chachi, and aryan adding some shuddh desi ghee in this aag. can't blame them. riddhima IS a colossal pain in the ass.
lmao one more bomb thrown on vansh, ki sejal bhi kidnap hui hai aur yahin kahin hai. yaaaaaar, i never thought i'd feel this bad for Ghar Ka Bada Beta after shivaay, but this man is truly having to deal with The Most.
accusation after accusation thrown left and right, and vansh is literally like
man, idk why kabir does any of this devious planning and effort. with allllllll this dumbfuckery, it's just a matter of time before the raisinghanias go extinct from SHEER STUPIDITY. he should just bide his time and let them wipe themselves out. should take like, 3 months, tops.
VANSH HAS A BOMB OF HIS OWNNNNNNNNN: “SEJAL MERE PAAS HAI.” WHUT??!!?!?!?
lmao the panic on allllllllllll these fools' faces hearing that vansh has sejal. dadi and siya are the only oblivious and unbothered ones here.
hahahahahaha vansh turns around and sees YET another fucker who's out to test him and is like MOTHERF....... AB TU KAUN HAI BEYYYYY
vansh playing march 24th waale modiji and is like NONE OF YOU FUCKERS LEAVING THE HOUSE FROM NOW ON. NO ONE. EVER.
dang this growly vansh aint the smiley simp from the last 2-3 eps. i'm intrigued.
he promises everyyyyyything's gonna come out in a bit. yissssssssssssssss *grabs my popcorn from the rasoda*
vanshhhhhhhh OUT!
my queschun is ki does mishra know he's fully being made to shady shit by kabir or not!?!?!??!?
mishra not picking phone. he dedddddddddddd, lol. #RIPMishra
KABIR WTF DON'T BE PULLING THE DUDE'S WIFE AROUND LIKE THIS. OH GOD THEY'RE FULLY GONNA GET MURDERED TODAY.
ainvayi ka nakli fikar and some chugli against vansh.
REJECTED. honestly, she's really asking to be murdered, lol. sis, you can't be playing both parties like this.
lol kabir is meeeeeeee, so sick and tired of heterosexual ppl in love.
blah blah blah find out what he knows.
lmao everyoneeeeeeeeee is panickkkkkk.
WHY DOES HE KEEP TAKING HIS BLOODY MASK OFFFFFFFF
AND DESTROYING PROPERTY AND MAKING NOISE TO DRAW MORE ATTENTION TO THE ROOM. KABIR, SATYAAANAAASH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SMART ONE HERE.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP.
lolololololololololllllllll mummy ki haalat kharaab.
kabir using his half brain cell and not panicking out of control. good.
god bless this vapid praani. idhar sab ki hawa tight hai aur isko apni hairstyle ki padi hai. he's like an evil rudra from IB.
chachi is relatably stress-eating carbs. my most potent coping mechanism.
aryan is like, chillllllll this is mauke pe chauka type situation.
ASDLFKDSLKFJDLSKFJDLSJFLDSKJFL VANSH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HE LAMINATED IT AND EVERYTHING HAHAHAHAHHAHA GODDDDDDD I LOVE HIS PETTY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
chalo inn madam ki baari ab, phat ke haath mein aane ki.
helllllllllllllllo, sir. immediate aankhon ko thandak now that he changed out of that red suit.
damn, my aankhein not the only thing thandiiiiiii in this room. temp just dropped to -20 with how chilly he's being to her.
SIS HAS WIPED HER SWEATY UPPER LIP SO MANY TIMES KI FREEFUND KI MOOCHON KI WAXING HO GAYI HAI FRICTION SE. BEHEN POWDER THAT SHIT AND STOP TOUCHING IT; YOU'RE GIVING THE WHOLE GAME AWAY. JESUS. ISKO SPY BANAAKE BHEJA HAI?!?!?! ISKO?????? 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
lol does he look like he gives a rat’s ass about sejal and your ramkathaa??????
DUDE STOP RAMBLING. JESUS. YOU'RE SOFA KING BAD AT THIS.
speaking of bad sofas, wth is up with the RIDICULOUSLY high backed chairs in this house, they look fucking insane.
vansh willing her to STFU with his eyes is honestly me.
“maine apni pasand badal li, riddhima.” yiiiiiiiiikes. he's not just talking about cologne, is he???
but also, you deserve much better than this twit, so good for you, my man. you deserve to be with someone who at least has six (6) brain cells.
dhat tere ki. he still seems into her. bloody heterosexuality. hum sabko le doobegi.
“itni nervous kyun ho tum aaj?”
NERVOUSNESS JAAYE BHAAD MEIN; I WOULD FUCKING NEVER LET ANYONE TOUCH MY FACE WITH THEIR BLOODY HANDKERCHIEF EXCUSE ME SIR THIS SKIN TAKES A LOT OF MAINTENANCE I CANNOT HAVE YOU DABBING AT IT WITH YOUR FILTHY POCKET CLOTH AND RISKING BREAKOUTS I MUST INSIST YOU REASSURE AND COMFORT ME FROM 2 FEET AWAY THANK YOU
riddhima trying valiantly to bluff her way through this conversation but vansh is like me on online shopping sites after filling my cart full of stuff: NOT BUYING IT.
literally me any time someone touches my face. internally screaming and thinking about how i’ll have to go dab tea tree oil all over to preemptively stop a breakout.
uhhhhhhhhhhh, she didn't say anything about wanting to know what sejal said to you????? mind-reading is very rude and an invasion of privacy, vansh!!!!!
4 pm, kab bajenge bloody 4, out with it alreadyyyyyyyyy.
lol that tinnnnnnnnny smirk of his as he leaves.
no but forreal, imagine living with this dramaticass man who promises big shows at a given time, like honestly i would be so fucking annoyed. at least shivaay never planned his big living room all-family conferences and made ppl WAITTTTTTTTT for it.
mummy is like kabir plsssssssssssss gtfo.
riddhima is useless as ever and has no info. big surprise.
AEDKLSJFLDSKJLFSKJFLKSDJL HE SNUCK UP ON HER
mummy always been knowing that riddhima is a fucking nikammi.
ok notttttttttt cooool my man. phone is private shit.
off kardiya shaaaani ne.
lol kiskoooooooo pappu bana rahi ho behen, this man knows everyyyyyyyyything.
was that HIS phone he just picked up and left? usmein recording kar raha tha toh??????
honestly can you even blame vansh for being such a shakki shakeel, his house is filllllllllled with fucking snakes.
THIS FOOL JUST BE WALKING AROUND USING ALL THE MAIN DOORS AND SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MANNNNNNNNN
asjdkasjdkajshkdsj and the prize for most valiant effort at hide and seek goes to.................
peripheral vision naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai, bhai. use karle.
4 BAJ GAYE LEKIN PARTY ABHI BAAKI HAI, ABHI TOH PARTY SHURU HUI HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 🥳🥳🥳
hahahahahhahahaha what the fuck his ass actually has a fulllllllllblown sirens blowing at 4 pm. like not a small tinkly alarm too, this is like those sirens they have blaring at big factories and shit.
riddhima dressed in that promo waali sari where nothing good happens so............ good luck sis.
(but also this is the sari anika wore when they fucked in laal ishq so maybeeeeeeeeee good times are incoming???)
HE ACTUALLY TURNED AROUND AND TOOK HIS PLACE, FOR MAXIMUMMMMMMM EFFECT. THIS MAN AND HIS FLAIR FOR THE DRAMATIC. I LOVE IT.
“yeh sab kya ho raha hai vansh??”
“chaar baj gaye, dadi.”
yes. totally a satisfactory explanation for this shit. thanks vansh. but you COULD have mentioned in your notes ki 4 baje ko jo hona tha, was a scheduled fire drill.
ANY HIGH TENSION SITUATION MAKES ME WANNA PEE REAL BAD, AND GIRLS, MY BLADDER IS REAL HURTY RN.
also lord, this one’s base makeup is too yellow toned too. just look at the contrast between his face and his ear.
askdlajlkdjlasjdlasjlkj he sat right on THAT table.
“toh bataao mujhe: kya hua, kyun hua, aur kaise hua.”
.............. like.... who are you talking to? and what exactly are you referring to? you want me to like start from the big bang and the creation of the universe and evolution and all that jazz, ya like, from this morning when i woke up?
(it’s stupid shit like this i would ask that would get me fully murdered in a sitch like this. damn my smartassery, it’s gonna get me killed.)
lol aryan is up first. we love to see it. OUT WITH IT, YOU WEASELLY LITTLE SHIT.
noooooooooooooo, he didn't even let him properly stew and sweat over it. ouff vansh, kuch toh dramatic pause dete.
“afwaa phaili hai ki meri nazar baaz se tez hai..........”
why all the guys on colors these days gotta be baaz and cheel and god knows what else?!?!!?
OH DAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL HE DID USE HIS PERIPHERAL VISION AFTER ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOOOOOOD JOBBBBBBBBB VANSHHHHHHHHHHH
KABIR TU TOH GAYAAAAAAAAAA #RIPKABIR
akjsadkjhskjdhkjskask ngl i am fucking thrilled by this development
riddhima and mummy having simultaneous heart attacks though. lol idc, die bitches.
lmao kabir looking reallllllllllll ulta-chor-kotwaal-ko-daante for someone who got caught hiding inside a table.
DANG, I ACTUALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT EP????????? SHIT. THIS STUPID SHOW HOOKED ME IN SOOOOOOOOO EASY. 😫😫😫
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Pardon My 15x20 Rant
I woke up this morning with Thoughts, so time for a ranty post. Be prepared this is going to read more like word vomit than anything, but I just wanted to get my thoughts down on paper. No one may even read this bc I don’t have a lot of followers but it feels good to just get this off my chest and out into the Universe. Warning, there is a gratuitous use of caps.
So....I see so many fans on Twitter saying how beautiful and perfect that ending was and, I have to say, I’m truly bewildered by that.
Even if you aren’t a Destiel fan, I’m not sure how you could’ve found that ending to be remotely satisfying. See list of non Destiel-related reasons below (bc I’m trying to see this from the perspective of someone who isn’t in that part of the fandom):
1. The MOW was crap; wtf was with the Halloween masks? When have we ever seen that with vamps? The dumbest shit I’ve seen.
They trotted out some extra from season 1 like it’s supposed to be some fun little Easter egg. Why are we supposed to give a shit about her? I didn’t even remember her with the flashback. Who are you, again? NM, I DON’T CARE. It also honestly made no sense to feature a MOW episode after everything that just happened, it wasn’t necessary. It was clearly just a means to an end to get Dean killed.
2. They shoved some random family, for Sam, into the last ten minutes of the episode. Sam’s kid is named Dean? OF COURSE HE IS. And that whole father-son montage was so clunky and awkward, I would’ve been more convinced if you told me Sam actually just wandered into some anonymous woman’s backyard and started playing ball with her kid.
We’ve seen how emotionally invested Sam gets in his relationships and we’ve had such beautiful moments: Sam/Jess, Sam/Madison, (even Sam/Ruby), and of course Sam/Eileen. And now we are supposed to care about Anonymous Brunette Woman #4? GTFO. I’ve seen some people saying they couldn’t get Shoshanna bc of COVID, but give us something to indicate it was Eileen. Have Sam sign something to her from across the yard; IT’S THAT SIMPLE. But no, not one single mention of her in either 19 or 20, after Sam nearly broke when he lost her in 18.
I couldn’t even feel happy for him bc I had 0 emotional investment in this life of his. And it was all just rushed through so we could get to the “good part” where Sam dies and is reunited with Dean in Heaven.
Also small note, what happened to Dean’s dog???
3. The wardrobe department really needs to reconsider some of their life choices. I’ve seen tufts of cat hair in the corners of my house that would’ve made a better wig than that rag they threw on Jared’s head. It was so ridiculous, I started thinking this was going to wind up being some big gag like The Mystery Spot” and The Trickster was going to pop out.
And why did Jim Beaver’s beard look like they spray-painted cotton balls brown and glued them to his face? It was honestly distracting.
4. After 15 years, and FINALLY achieving freedom and happiness, Dean gets taken down by a rebar and a Vamp-mime. The only way I could justify this to myself was that, now that they are no longer God’s puppets he’s not bending the rules for them and they don’t have that death-defying luck on their side now. But even that is weak. After all his fighting, sacrificing, and wanting nothing more than to chill on a beach with Sam and Cas, this is what he gets. This was a show about defying destiny, THAT WAS THE WHOLE PLOT OF S15.
Dean always said he figured it was his destiny to die bloody, and that’s exactly why he shouldn’t have gone out this way. STORY ARC, WHAT’S THAT? Cas told Dean, when he first met him, that good things do happen. So basically, the only way Dean could get his happiness was to die? What a heart-warming message.
5. Dean’s lack of emotion over the loss of Cas was the most OOC I think I’ve ever seen from him. Dean DOES NOT accept the deaths of those he loves in any way. He does not cope, he does not move on, he does not happily eat a bunch of pie. We’ve seen how Dean has handled Cas’s death in the past. It’s...not good, and it only became more unhealthy as the show progressed, with the last time (before 18) having Dean literally killing himself. Even in 15x19, we still got that desperate heartache from him with Dean demanding that Chuck bring Cas back. We also saw him sleeping amongst a pile of empty liquor bottles, which is very on-character for him. But in 15x20, he’s the one telling Sam they need to move on and keep living (oops) over a giant tray of pie slices at a county fair. Even Sam feels off. One minute he’s all “I’m sad about Cas and Jack” and the next he’s putting a pie in Dean’s face and is like “I feel better now!” You’ve got a direct in with God!Jack now, and we know from 15x19 that God can pull beings out of The Empty bc he did it with Lucifer! THAT WAS YOUR IN, YOU IDIOTS. You ask Chuck to bring back Cas, but not the one to whom he was a father to?????????
6. Even if you weren’t a Destiel shipper, you should still be disappointed in the noticeable absence of Castiel, especially since he was left with such a cliffhanger of character development and was mentioned multiple times in episodes 19 and 20. He was a pivotal part of the show for 11 years. Even if you take out the Destiel stuff, the boys have called him their brother numerous times. Dean’s call him his best friend. Wouldn’t his ideal Heaven have his best friend in it?
7. I’m not going to rail on the scene between the brothers while Dean is dying. I didn’t really get Wincest vibes from it, though I never put much stock into that side of the fandom anyway. My one issue is this was the “love confession” moment they gave us. Dean dying in a barn and telling Sam he loves his baby brother. *SNORE*
8. The big reunion moment we were hoping for? They wasted it on Dean’s car. A FUCKING CAR. Yes, I get the Impala is important to the story, but come the fuck on. NO CHICK FLICK MOMENTS. MUCH BRO.
All-in-all the whole ending felt like 1 step forward, and 15 years back. After all the character development and story arcs, it’s like they just threw it all out the window. Nothing changed. Everyone was back to where they started: Cas working for God, Dean being a good soldier and dying bloody doing the only thing he knows how to do, Sam being left to pick up the pieces with some distorted version of an apple pie life where he was basically just living to die so he could be with Dean again. I felt like the lesson was that the only way you get what you want is to die. It was gross. It was a disservice to the actors, the characters, and the fans. I can’t begin to even see this as fan-service bc I’d love to know who the TPTB thought they were serving with this garbage. And honestly, I don’t think they knew either. I feel like they were so worried about pissing off all the different subsets of the fandom that they went as safe as they could. *slow claps* Way to go, guys, really groundbreaking stuff.
At the end of the day though, it’s my fault for being disappointed. I shouldn’t have expected so much of a show that had mostly cis white men working behind the scenes. A show that’s killed almost every female character who stepped up to the plate (also, POC anyone? Nahhh). A show that took their one real LGBTQ character (also female), killed her and left her body in a bathtub (FRIDGING IS FUN) for absolutely no good reason. A show that, at the end of the day, is just a show about a couple bros who kill monsters, on the CW, and the CW is hardly the go-to place for real boundary-pushing content. A show that has managed to drop the ball at almost every opportunity though we, as a fandom, have continued to lower the bar for them.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me 100 times?
So with all that being said...
Peace out bitches.
#spn finale reaction#meta i guess?#spn spoilers#15x20#word vomit#supernatural#long post#dean wincherster#sam winchester#castiel
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