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naushtheaspiringauthor · 5 months

Note

Please please please could you write a Nikolai x reader fic with the Enchanted prompt?? 🥹💕

Majestic- Nikolai Lantsov x reader

A/N- Ignore the image looking so big. Anyways, I had so much fun writing this and I really hope you enjoy reading it! I wrote this one in Nikolai's pov because I love my bbg being a huge simp also jealous Nikolai😩😩

Warnings- None

Summary- Nikolai utterly despised how annoying you are, but when he sees you dancing with someone else during a ball, he experiences feelings he never knew of

Nikolai walked around the hall, checking how Genya's preparations for the upcoming ball had been going on. She'd done a marvellous job, undoubtedly, but still he was astonished to find the boring hall look so endearing. Usually he wasn't much thrilled for these events as they were a frequent occurrence, yet he found himself looking forward to this one as you were supposed to be there

"I'm surprised to say that it's quite impressive how you've turned this monotonous area in this palace to this" He looked around the hall, so as to admire the view

"Surprised? I excel at anything I wish to" Genya responded with a smug look on her face

"Well, I'm not arguing that" Nikolai shrugged.

"Oh and just so you know, y/n has come back so she'll be attending the event" She spoke again.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "That's good, but I don't see why that concerns me" He gave her a disinterested look

"Alright" Genya rolled her single amber eye, not wanting to argue with him further.

You'd been away for a meeting with the Kerch merchant council for about a week now. Even though Nikolai was relieved to not having to tolerate you making fun of literally everything he did, he was still surprised to find himself missing your devilish grin

............................................................

Nikolai had wore a black coat with the Ravkan double eagle emblazoned to a side. His hair looked much less messier than usual.

He entered the now endearing hall with light gleaming from every corner. The whole surrounding was filled with a variety of riches, nobles and high ranking officers from the first army.

He was having a rather displeasing conversation with some merchant about various kinds of brandies when he noticed you enter the hall. You were wearing a midnight blue silk gown with straps that hung beautifully over your shoulders. Your hair was pulled into a bun and had several loose strands falling in front that were too small to be a part of the bun

You seemed to catch most people's attentions as they recognized who you were. You chatted with most of the nobles and they listened to you speak with great interest. The whole scene made Nikolai roll his eyes and get himself another glass of champagne

...................................................

Nikolai was watching the perfectly hung chandeliers when he heard your voice from behind

"Looks like you've found your betrothed, moi tsar" you smirked

Instead of being annoyed, he smiled back and responded "Well she is radiant and much more quiet then the other options"

"You wish you had that option" You gave him a proud expression

"Ah how unlucky of me to not having the most annoying human on earth as an option to become my betrothed" he gave you similar look

"Keep telling yourself that to soothe your aching heart, moi tsar" you tilted your head to a side

Before Nikolai could respond with equally snarky words, you were snatched away by a noblewoman who began to ask you about the architectural designs in Ketterdam.

..........................................

Nikolai spent most of his time talking to the guests yet, he could keep his attention towards the conversation which was weird because he was quite good at listening to people talk. He still found his gaze drifting towards you. Why was he even doing that? you were just almost too good at conversating with strangers but why would it matter to him, those people didn't know how annoying you truly were.

It was maddening how you were hiding your true evil nature so elegantly and how beautiful you were looking in that damned dress and how beautifully it brought out the color of your eyes.

You were now talking to some, young man who was trying too hard to flirt with you.

The man was a lot taller than you so you had to look up to meet his gaze. But what was so special about that anyways? Nikolai was a lot taller than you as well or maybe you were just too short. He also had dark hair that was slicked back and small dimples appeared on either side of his cheeks whenever he smiled. What even was so special about dimples anyway? they didn't make him insanely attractive or anything.

Nikolai was really struggling to not roll his eyes at the sights of all that, yet he couldn't figure out why he was caring so much about it. Why he didn't like it when you weren't spending your evening mocking him but were instead laughing with someone else.

Soon, the dances were about to begin and the change of the rhythm of the orchestra proved so.

Several people stepped front to partake in the activity. Nikolai noticed the man with the dimples bringing his hand forward and you taking it as you both stepped in front.

................................................

Nikolai stood in a corner with a half empty glass of champagne in his hand as he watched you glide around the hall with the average looking man.

He spun you around while his gaze remained fixated on yours. And at times, even grinned like an idiot who'd achieved something huge without any effort.

Though there were a thousand things Nikolai could be doing at that moment, he continued to look at you with immense grimace. He watched you dance with the bloke as he got himself another glass of champagne.

.............................................

After what felt like an eternity, the façade was finished and you bid farewell to the man.

Nikolai was too deep indulged in his thoughts to notice you coming from behind. "You seem to be rather displeased tonight, moi tsarevich" You spoke

He turned around hastily to see you standing in front of him. "Well, these occasions are all the same, nothing new. People bragging and indulging in useless conversations that might bore you to death and dancing with nincompoops" he grimaced at the last sentence

"All the saints and their aunts, are you jealous your highness?" you smirked

"In your wildest dreams" he responded with a bold expression. "Who even is that guy anyways? Another average man who thinks he can win over anyone with his dimples and weird hair" he muttered loud enough for you to hear

"You know, if you really wished to dance with me, you could've just said so" a corner of your mouth turned up

"Maybe, but you were too occupied grinning with that bloke"

"See? acceptance is a bold step your highness. And don't curse the poor boy so much, he'd already been looking as if he'd been preparing his script for weeks"

"If only he possessed my talents" he smiled proudly

"You know, it's not entirely late for that dance" you tilted your head as you raised your eyebrows.

"Alright then, I shall fulfil that wish of yours too" he responded, his statement making you roll your eyes

He gently offered you his hand and you took it as you both stepped outside the hall.

................................................

The euphonic music playing distantly filled up your ears as you took Nikolai's hands in yours. His gaze remained stagnant on yours and he finally noticed how beautifully your y/e/c eyes shone as the moonlight gleamed on them. At that moment, he could think of nothing but you. How beautiful you appeared, even when you'd be working in the scorching heat or the heavy rain. How smartly you managed to handle any situation without engaging in any form of conflict. How could he not like you if you were that way. How was he to despise you when you were so majestic? Through he was now hating you for being so.

"You know, it wouldn't shatter your pride to just accept the fact that I'm simply the most magnificent woman you've laid your eyes on, your highness" you smiled as you raised your eyebrows

"Nikolai, just Nikolai would do. And I that is very bold of you, but you do more work to keep the country stable than anyone else so I wouldn't say much" he returned your expression

"You aren't denying it either, Nikolai"

His name coming from your lips made him feel different, as he never had before. It was rather rare of you calling him by his name he couldn't even recall the last time you did. But he knew you were right, he truly never hand seen another woman as magnificent as you.

No matter how much you annoyed him most of the time or made fun of every thing about him, he really never had known one like you. And seeing you dance with someone else, seeing your hands on someone else's, made him feel emotions he never knew he had.

You swayed to the soft music playing in the distance as your hands rested on Nikolai's shoulders and his on your waist.

His soft hazel eyes were fixated on yours as the night went by. He brought out his hand without haste and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear that had been blocking his view of your beautiful y/e/c eye.

................................................

The moment went by in a haste as you spoke in a sudden, "I'm afraid I might have to leave now, so as to bid farewells to the guests and I believe you should do the same"

"Ye-yes you're right" he spoke in a hesitant voice, not willing to part from you.

Without having another option, you turned to leave as Nikolai held your hand for a moment and then let it go.

You both went your separate ways as Nikolai slightly flexed his hand from your touch.

After the party ended, he set on his way to his quarters, not realizing how red his cheeks had become.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #shadow and bone #nikolai lanstov #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lanstov x reader

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aro-comics · 2 years

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Growth (Part 2)

Growth, Part 2/3 – ITS REALLY NOT THAT HARD!! 😭😭 Lol sorry but the last panel is absolutely me when I think about amatonormativity as a whole, it’s really silly the more you think about it and I can’t believe that it’s so deeply engrained in most of the world.

I think I should mention I don’t have any specific narratives to reference for the tropes described in this comic, as much as I would like to, as I started panelling this a year ago and past me GOOFED and didn’t leave many notes on what examples she was specifically think of. Again, feel free to let me know any examples you can think of in the comments or via DM! I’ll pin them if they’re in the comments and I might make a follow up Tumblr post listing examples 😊

Also, while I was researching this general topic I did go through TV Tropes “The Singles” (as a character type? Category) page, and I found something very interesting. There’s a literally a section describing the tropes that “explain” why a character was not in a romantic relationship … and literally they have ever “Excuse” for why a character might be single except for. Maybe literally they’re aromantic 😭 The closest is “Allergic to Love” (which like, relatable. But also not inherently an orientation).

Just like …. OH MY GOD. People sometimes try to act like we’re being dramatic about leting people know being Aromantic is possible but STRAIGHT UP. IN POPULAR CULTURE (and often OUR WHOLE LIVES BEFORE WE DISCOVER THE TERM, AND ACCEPT OUR IDENTITES) THE IDEA OF BEING AROMANTIC IS JUST NON-EXISTENT, WRITTEN AROUND WITH EVERY OTHER POSSIBLE “EXCUSE” OR “EXPLANATION” Because apparently the idea that someone could just not feel romantic attraction is too much for this world 😫

I don’t have too much else to say, other than I hope you’re all holding up okay and taking care of yourselves.

Image Description:

Slide 1: Celia holds her hand up to her chin, contemplating. “The whole idea of growth being tied to romance is reflected in other tropes too –”

Slide 2: A split panel is illustrated. A south asian girl is shown crying as she types on her phone. She mutters to herself “Ugh, I’m SO done with dating. I’m putting myself first for once.”

On the other side of the panel, she is shown to have gone through a *transformation* (a la early 2000s makeover), and bumping into her destined love interest.

“The character’s efforts to “work on themselves” and “get away from romance”, are ironically what lead them to finding their “happy ending”.

Slide 3: Alternatively, a character finally accepting that they are happy single is seen as a “stepping stone” to being “ready” for a relationship.

In this scene, a brunette wearing a yellow shirt and dark skirt proclaims “I can be happy as a single woman”. In the background a spotlight flicks on as her “right” love interest appears. “Achievement unlocked: True Love interest” is overlaid in a font reminiscent of classic video games.

Slide 4: Celia speaks to the viewer. “Again, there’s nothing inherently wrong about either of these stories. It’s amazing if someone who gave up on love due to frustration, not a lack of desire, finds it again through pure fate and luck.”

Slide 5: Celia gestures now as she tries to explain, “But the problem is that these moments are framed as more of a “gotcha”, where this idea of pursuing growth purely for oneself, or holding any disdain of a romantic relationship in this process, is inherently wrong. In the end, even growing for yourself is really about growing for a romantic relationship.”

Slide 6: Celia rubs her hands through her hair in frustration. “Like … not everything is about being in a relationship! It’s not that hard.”

#regularcomic #GrowthComic

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molsno · 7 months

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random question buuut how do you feel about trans men using/reclaiming the t slur? this isn’t meant to be bait or anything i’ve just heard trans women in the past say it makes them uncomfortable and was curious to hear your thoughts

it's really annoying honestly. for decades literally the ONLY time I ever heard the word tranny it was used to dehumanize a trans woman, or a fictional caricature of one. I learned that a tranny was the most reviled thing you could possibly be in society and because of that I was utterly terrified to defy any expectations of masculinity for fear of being treated like one. it severely fucked up my perception of myself and kept me from interrogating a single thought I had that conflicted with the assigned gender I had been given, no matter how small. now of course I find a lot of joy in being a tranny but that's because I've accepted that what society finds repulsive is beautiful and amazing. and like yeah trans men deal with transphobia and that's deeply painful, it's a shared experience we have so believe me I know the feeling, but the specter of the tranny doesn't haunt them their every waking moment. up until very recently (and honestly even to this day) if you ask a random cis person what a trans man is they will probably not even be able to answer that question correctly. if you google image search the word tranny basically every result is someone's ghoulish idea of a trans woman. if you look up tranny porn it's all going to be trans women being dehumanized and humiliated. when trans men "reclaim" the word tranny I feel nothing but contempt. they want to pretend so bad that we have the same exact struggle and they wear that notion as a badge of honor while doing nothing to combat the fear of the tranny in the tme person's mind, or worse, upholding it themselves by throwing us under the bus.

#ask #Anonymous #transmisogyny

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siren-darkocean · 9 months

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I had mental images of if the Glatorians Toa powers from their weapons Mata Nui upgraded with The Ignika split to be a part of the Glatorians themselves so they can control the elements like Toa can and it also develops with a life centered Kanoi Abilities as well but still manage to classify as Glatorian

Kanoi Mask Ability wise for each Glatorian to me:

Ackar - Teleportation (A little OP but he doesn't use it often especially bc too much it'll make him dizzy and he doesn't teleport to unknown areas bc of the potential danger, plus he doesn't like it that much)

Kiina - Memory Share (She's able to read people's memories even sealed away ones and with physical contact from others she can share them, it's especially helpful since the target person gets absorbed into the memory flashback as well so it stuns them as it happens)

Gresh - Mood Control (Literally able to change someone's current mood with a single thought, he mainly uses this to keep a Sand Stalker calm though it has its limits as well so anything larger than a Skopio could potentially kill him of the energy being used, tho changing the mood of a Skopio could give him a major headache and a nosebleed)

Tarix - Mind Control (Yes a little OP but it doesn't last long even if he has a lot of energy, he also can't use it on large beings for long or a large group)

Vastus - Shapeshifting (Bc Matau needs another person who can do this, it's not the only doubled ability trust me. Mainly does it to fuck with Tarix, Ackar and Gresh)

Strakk - Temperature Control (Literally can manipulate the temperature around him to his liking within a certain radius, he would've killed for this ability before the reforming of Spherus Magna, gives him an excuse to wear floofy articles of clothing without being overheated)

!BONUS! Berix - Invisibility (Just like Vakama, I always had the mental image Berix was similar in a sense to Vakama mainly Toa version (bc Turaga version Vakama gains a backbone), not the best idea for a thief collector to have the ability to turn invisible, he actually doesn't use it for that but instead uses it for fights, bc I swear he's more of a Glatorian than an Agori just lacking growth development being on the streets and lack of nutrition from it and can only manage to wear/find Agori armor)

#bionicle #g1 bionicle #lego bionicle #glatorian #ackar #kiina #gresh #tarix #vastus #strakk #berix #headcanon #bionicle headcanon #this has been a permanent thing for Bionicle don't judge

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eternalwritess · 16 days

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hi! can I get a romantic matchup from hazbin hotel? please & thank you!

I'm bi and I use she/her pronouns. I'm an INFP and a taurus. I'm also the oldest child in my family so basically I believe that I'm responsible for everyone's happiness and I tend to make sure everyone around me is comfortable even (and especially) if I'm not – I'm the mom friend and the burnt out gifted kid of my friend group. I'm pretty sensitive and empathetic so for example I can get upset simply because someone around me is in a bad mood. I overthink every single thing in my life and constantly get anxious over small things. I struggle with my self-image and low self-esteem. because I'm afraid of what people think of me I find it hard to interact with people I don't know well enough, so I often appear reserved in bigger groups of people, but when I'm with those who are close to me, I become more open and outgoing. I care about my loved ones deeply and I could literally kill for my friends and family. I'm good at comforting people so others tend to see me as someone trustworthy. My sense of humor mostly consists of sarcasm and bullying my friends lovingly but for some reason people often tell me I'm funny. I'm also a very loyal, loving and affectionate person and I mostly express my love through words and physical touch. I'm a hopeless romantic.

as for physical appearance, I'm 5'5 with hourglass figure. my body is more on a softer side, if that makes sense?? like I wouldn't call myself chubby, but I'm not exactly thin either. I have dark brown wavy hair of medium length, dark brown eyes and light skin. I wear glasses. my style is pretty feminine, I love wearing skirts and dresses, and my clothes are mostly of dark colors like blacks and dark reds. I love wearing dark make-up and hardly ever leave home without maroon lipstick on. I also love painting my nails and wearing a lot of jewelry.

my interests&hobbies include: drawing, reading (I love detective stories and romance books) and listening to music (I'm a huge swiftie). I also watch a lot of movies and shows. I like daydreaming and I spend a lot of time just thinking about my fave fandoms, creating my own AUs and characters and whatnot, and I enjoy creating fandom related content like making playlists, fanart, headcanons, etc. another thing I love a lot is learning languages.

I love your writing and I'm really curious to find out who you match me with! thanks again!

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕙𝕒𝕧𝕖 𝕓𝕖𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕒𝕥𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕕 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

𝓥𝓪𝓰𝓰𝓲𝓮!

You were most likely a demon that she injured but didn't kill and when she fell she saw you and immediately felt horrible for it

Charlie noticed her feeling down and most likely asked her what was wrong. When she said that you were someone that she hurt (most likely added in a past life even though it wasn't true) Charlie pushed her to go over and help you out because of her whole thing of redemption

You were most likely terrified of her but she helped you out. Bandaging your arms and talking with you while she did it

"So uh... how'd you end up here?"

She was most likely awkward at first with Charlie beside you guys hyping you both up but you soon got to know her and you both ended up staying at what was at the time the Happy Hotel

As the hotel went on you both most likely started feeling somewhat responsible for the hotel and when Vaggie noticed how it might be affecting you in a bad way started forcing you to take breaks

"You need to take care of yourself... plus you can't help out drained and half dead or... deader"

Vaggie tries to control her mood for you making sure that she doesn't get too upset but every now and then she does end up slipping and when she does she feels really bad and ends up buying you a few books to read

She helps you reach out constantly trying to push you, not too far but far enough so that you're not just stuck in the hotel all alone when her and Charlie go out

Vaggie calls you pet names all the time and compliments you almost every day. Its constant hugs and kisses, she wants to make sure that you feel safe in your own skin

"You look absolutely stunning babe"

You and her have the same sarcastic humor and she loves that you get all of her jokes

She loves it when you nag at her and will always laugh at your jokes and tell you how great you are at making them she might try and get at you back every now and then though but in a loving way

"Oh come on that was a good one"

With her it is constantly cuddles and attention when she regained her wings it only increased. She would constantly sit you down just so that you could preen them

Your gentle with her wings and she loves it she constantly shakes them with excitement and will lay down on your lap afterwards snuggling up right next to you

She then will thank you with kisses peppering your face with them all over <3

#match up #hazbin hotel matchups #hazbin hotel matchup #matchup #hazbin hotel match up #hazbin hotel #hazbin #matchups #hazbin hotel match ups

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citylawns · 2 months

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i'm so sorry to be one of the ppl asking for advice on physical appearance topics, but i'm wondering if you could give me insights on how i should stay firm in my self-confidence when i'm constantly being compared to someone else. i'm grateful to have a stylish mother (who is my muse) but it does hurt that ppl always HAVE to compare us (my mom has the typical model look; i'm just 'plain') & how clothes fit on us. i use fashion as self-appreciation & expression but now i feel limited in some way.

continuing from the last question, lots of ppl have literally told me word by word that i'm "so unlucky to have not gotten my mother's genes, what a waste!". as events like this piled up over the past several years, my self-image is destroyed. went to loads of therapy but felt like i was overreacting & all of them told me 'why does that matter?'. i too just want to be respected. now i just wear things that cover my body :/ maybe i'm the problem, but just in need of contradiction or assurance

I am sorry because I think I’ve failed to get through to you every single time I’ve answered these questions before.

I’m just repeating myself now saying “stand up for yourself” and “de-centre beauty from your life through friends and art etc”. I know it’s harder than it sounds and you’re in a really bad environment if people are saying that stuff to you and your mother doesn’t defend you. that’s disgusting. As soon as you can get away from those people and get away from your mother you should do so. It’s psychological damage, I know you say she’s your muse and hopefully she’s nicer to you in other ways but lots of women like being in competition with their daughters and that’s the vibe I’m getting from your message. Or she may not even realise. So question then: does your mother ever build up your self esteem and tell you how amazing you are in other ways? Does she see how the comparison destroys you? Does she tell these people to shut the fuck up? Could you ever confide in her and be comforted?

I rarely see my mum because of the things she’s done and said to me and my siblings and it’s taken years but every second I was away from her I felt myself getting happier and healthier.

I truly keep trying to point you in the direction of people, videos, concepts, politics, advice that will help you that you can explore yourself but it’s in your hands to take action and decide what is best for you, whether this resonates and helps or not. You don’t have to listen to a word I have said but I’m answering the same question over and over and over.

I get that my advice is probably not helpful in any way because this is not something I’ve experienced. But I have endured self hatred and low self esteem, I know you can’t just brush it off like it’s not made an impact, it will do and obviously has done. So maybe you just need to keep feeling that hurt until it you can verbally stand up for yourself, make art out of the experience, write about the experience, connect with other people about the experience, and leave to find a better place where people appreciate you.

That’s what I did when I was younger, for different reasons but I was def considered the unattractive weird girl at school. after I was abused by my boyfriend and my friends turned against me in favour of him I had a mental breakdown, was cutting myself, punching myself, trying to wrap cords around my neck to end my life, I’ve struggled with self hatred so deep I’ve tried to end my life and destroy myself in so many ways because I was convinced I was bad and worthless by my mother, my ex boyfriend, all of my friends, and all the teachers and other students at my school who didn’t reach out. I barely survived but I did and things slowly got better when I left that environment and started going to gigs regularly and festivals and meeting a new group of people including the next boyfriend who I spent 4 years with.

Hopefully this is a phase of your life that you just have to survive. Hang in there ❤️

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a-regular-ol-pill · 2 years

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just recently discovered your blog and i like your current content! i was wondering if you could do a hayabusa x f!reader where reader is insecure of kagura and hanabi? angst with a happy ending pleasee

"If not for.."

Mobile Legends; Bang Bang

Pairing; Hayabusa, You.

SFW

Requested? Yes.

Small note for requester; I'm sincerely glad you enjoy my content, and I hope this sprinkles a bit of angst in your day! (I REALLY overwrote this because I almost had this same experience.. I'm so sorry if it barely has anything to do with your idea!)

Want to Request? Click here.

Want a more direct link? Click here.

Warning(s); Mentions of Killing, Near death situation, Insecurities, Rumors, Mental health problems, literally angst and heartbreak, etc..?

Word Count; N/A

Second Person Perspective.

Pronouns used for reader; 'She', 'Her', etc...

Prompt;

"You hate the fact that people compare you to someone that's better for Hayabusa."

It was a miracle, how someone like you landed a relationship with Hayabusa. Most of the town knew that he was arranged to marry Hanabi, everyone meaning you as well. You were often called a 'homewrecker' for making Hayabusa 'confused' of his feelings. Even Kagura could have landed a better shot in winning Hayabusa's heart, and his parents. Which is something that you; can't do. Both of them were drop dead gorgeous, Hayabusa could have easily won them over, or be won over by them.

So why did it have to be you?

Why did it have to be you that caught his eye everytime you walk by? Why did it have to be you that he secretly asked out before everything went public? Why did it have to be you that stole his heart the moment you became friends? Why? It was the same thing every day, you notice him and the two girl's chemistry grow into an even bigger one, while the townsfolk shame you for something you couldn't control.

Rinse, repeat, recycle as they say. But recycling those everyday incidents breaks you bit by bit. Not healing, not reseting— as if the previous day didn't matter. Of course it does! Gosh, you were a mess for not being able to talk to that problem with Hayabusa. Everytime you try, it's either your own guardian pulling you back to 'save a marriage', or, a passerby that despises the ever living crap out of you— also holding you back because of the rumor that you seduced the poor man.

Your heart ached at every insult that was thrown at you. And you couldn't even find comfort in your own lover that caused the whole mess. You could always feel your legs shaking when Hayabusa knocks on your door. It wasn't like the good old times that you were simply flustered— No. Everything's even more complicated than that. Every single day when you holed up in your room, you could always overhear the whispers of joy when they thought you were giving up. Which wasn't far from the truth.

Every day, you found yourself being lost. Lost of the person you once was. You wonder how you became the person you were before. Were you caring? Did you take so much information so you could babble about useless things that people won't even listen to anyways? How did you even dress every day? Did you wear robes? Dresses? Kimono's? Who were you to everyone, before you became the 'homewrecker'?

Everytime you peak out to see what was up, and hopefully have a moment of silence to yourself in the forest. You'd find the horrible image of Hayabusa either talking, or flirting with Hanabi or Kagura. Literally draining out every emotion and energy you had to try and calm yourself. You'd find yourself in the room after seeing the sickening image, shaking and crying to the point where you'll get thirsty, and pass out every hour— Because of the fear of going out, you couldn't quench your undying thirst.

Your brain wasn't even on your side. It'll force itself to create sickening images of Hayabusa with Kagura. Having a picnic, while Hanabi's training with him, and laughing when one of them falls to their butt. Hell— You'd even hyperventilated after waking up from that image. But no one was there to help you, not your 'friends', not your family. Not even Hayabusa. Did he even notice your absence? Did he even realize the shit talk people were giving you?

To put it simply, no. He had not. He kept being distracted, and having so much fun with his childhood friend— That he failed to notice the heartbroken eyes on him. He failed to notice your shaky body before you locked yourself in. And he failed to hear the whispers of joy that you clearly heard. It could have been a whole year of not realizing you were gone— If only your sibling hadn't come back from their scouting for more supplies.

If it had not been for your sibling, he would have failed to hear the loud cries of help when your sibling found you— Barely even heaving in your state. If it had not been for your sibling, he would have never remembered the; Still current state of your relationship. And if it had not been for your sibling... well. Hayabusa would have been crying over your grave. But he's not.

He's with you, drowing out your sibling's exclaims of how arrogant he was for not taking care of you, and drowing out how your sibling made your guardian choke on their own blood. Just like how you choked in your tears. Everyone was shitty to you, even him. If not for your sibling... you might've just rotted in your own room for months, until someone came to check on the foul smell. Not to check on you, but for the horrid smell.

Five days. Five days of absence and ignorance, this is the result. An empty husk of the person he loved the most. He has hopes he could revive you, bring back peace to your soul that has received nothing but abuse for finding love. Love that he could have cherished, the same way you cherished every moment with him. Stupidity, and ignorance. He despises them, but acted on them out of pure bliss, bliss from the people that helped cause the whole thing. His two other friends. Not because they spread the rumor themselves, but because they were always, and perfectly paired with Hayabusa. How ironic was that?

Oh, how he wished to go back in time to check up on you, even before you started losing your mind over the whispers of the townsfolk. He'd kill everyone in the village he's bound to protect, just to bring you back. If not, get a reaction out of you. Because right now, you're only staring at a previously hot bowl of soup. It'd turned cold from how long you were looking at it. He could see you weren't the same. The eyes, it was the one that gave it away. Those lifeless, and sunken eyes that made you look like death. Truthfully, He was the cause of it.

He knew he was the last person you'd want to talk to, but he still had to try. He reached his hand out and gently urged the bowl up, to his relief— You obliged, and let the bowl press between your lips, and let the soup run down your throat. In any other occasion, you would have choked. But for some odd reason, you didn't, and downed the whole thing in one go. The bland taste of cold soup lingered in your mouth. But it helped with your cannibalizing stomach.

The tension was unbearably thick for Hayabusa, seeing you motionless and not moving drove him insane with guilt. He could barely picture your awestrucking image, or hear your voice. It was faint in his mind, and he couldn't help but groan quietly. He hadn't even felt your hand without his gloves. That didn't happen, and now— He craved to feel it. Hope was something he hadn't been desperate of, but he's plenty desperate of it now. He looked up to see you, eyes closed and breathing softly. Of course you had to sleep.. everything literally and figuratively punched you in the face, after all.

"Just one second.." He whispered to no one in particular, immediately taking off his gloves in one swift movement before lacing your fingers through his. Your hand felt cold to the touch, but the warmth he felt after feeling your hand felt nice. One second became an hour, as he had fell asleep on your thigh. You weren't oblivious of course, you saw how he doubted himself before finally holding your hand. There was some sense of comfort to that, but you weren't eager to cherish it. It didn't feel the same. Probably because he didn't have his gloves on, but still..

Days. It took days for you to go back to 'normal'. You moved around a lot more, and have recovered from your physical trauma. But not mental one. When Hayabusa was finally able to hug you— He was immediately punched in the gut by your words; "Things aren't just gonna magically go back to normal from a hug. It isn't the same anymore." From that, he became restless and grew more fearful at the thought of losing you. He just got you back, but you had your relationship in the tips of your fingers...

You could drop everything, and leave him rotting his brain from overthinking. Though.. that wasn't how you were. A part of you that your mental health left was your kindness, and giving attitude of agreeing to give him a second chance. Hayabusa swore that the gods gave him a chance he didn't deserve. But considering that he could be re-living the bright relationship he had with you, how dumb will he be to refuse?

Chances that will be used for a good intention is something that you can take. He can take in this case. He would take every chance to be with you, and just cherish you— Like how you cherished him. At night, he would sneak into your house to whisper loving things to you to help you sleep. He won't make the same mistake again.

Call him obsessed, because he won't care. As long as he knows he's putting you into consideration. That's all he needs to keep on living, without guilt..

I hope you enjoyed reading this, as much as I enjoyed writing it! Take care of yourself! <3

#mobile legends bang bang #mobilelegendsbangbang #mlbb #mobile #mobilelegends #mobile legends x reader #x reader #mlbb angst #hayabusa #mlbb hayabusa #hayabusa mlbb #mobile legends hayabusa #hayabusa mobile legends

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sparxwrites · 2 years

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Wait, wait. Your Xisuma post implied that being admin means a lot of paperwork. Does that mean c!Dream has do paperwork, did he have to do his admin paperwork when he was still in jail? Does he speedrun his paperwork just so he can go back to making plans to harass a teenager???

so. absolutely hilarious mental image of dream frantically doing paperwork at high-speed so he can get back to logsteadshire for more psychological torment aisde- it depends! my treatment of dream as an admin or not varies wildly depending on my mood and the story i'm telling and the personal "canon" i'm working within.

a lot of the time, i go with the idea that dreamxd is the admin (or, probably more correctly, server owner; you can have several admins, after all, but only one owner), and is... linked to dream in some ambiguous way. sometimes i go with xd being a kind of godform/servitor thing dream created to run the server so he could play. sometimes i go with dream having no idea what xd is, but xd wears his face, and they're linked somehow, and it drives him a little bit mad (i.e. either dreamxd created him, or dream created dreamxd and somehow managed to forget it, in a moment of possibly Peak chaos magic). in these cases, dreamxd does the paperwork (which is a hilarious mental image in and of itself)

for when dream is the owner... there's no rule that says the admin/owner has to be the one to do the paperwork. it'd be eminently possible for, e.g. sam or sapnap to fill out, and for them to then get dream's signature on it. in which case, yes. dream is sat sullenly in prison, and someone shows up with a pen and papers and is like "sign here, here, and here please" so they can keep the server running without the bureaucratic administrative hassle of doing all the "successful server coup"/"admin is in absentia" forms that having imprisoned your server owner requires. or they're forging his signature, if he's not cooperating.

yes, they are lying to mojang, but it's fine. probably no one will ever find out. the universe is a very big place; there are a lot of servers; mostly there's no one actually checking a lot of the paperwork that gets filed routinely. other than maybe a handful of underpaid interns who are really not incentivised to flag up discrepancies unless they're really discrepant.

some guy called dream's signature looks a bit different from the last time? who cares. this server's listed someone called rendog's species as "human" and he's clearly got dog ears in his photo? eh, furries. someone called grian has put in three separate digital applications in for a world- no whoops, sorry, four, there's a historical one too, and the file for every single one is inexplicably corrupted into garbled galactic and vectors of purple eyes? it's probably fine. half a diamond an hour and a coffee machine that's been broken for six months is not enough to worry about literally any of this.

#cheyj05 #ask #dsmp tag #sparx chats

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charlotteiscrying · 3 months

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i hope you look at my insta pics, hoping i’m still heart broke over you. i hope you’ve noticed that i took all the pics with you down. i hope the image of me crying, because of you, haunts you forever. i hope i’m in your dreams every night. i hope that everyday you’re being eaten alive by guilt because you’ve just remembered something so mean that you did to me. i hope you remember my socks around your dick every single time you’re aboutta nut. i hope that, every time you’re jerking off, you have to think about me to finish. you just have to. i hope you’re never able to cum without thinking about just how much better it’d feel if that was my throat, my pussy, my socks. i hope every single time you fuck, for the rest of forever, she makes you wear a condom. i hope every pussy you eat tastes like literal vomit, for the rest of forever. i hope that every girl you fuck has pierced nipples, and that the last un-pierced nipples you’ll ever suck on were mine. i hope my body flashes in your mind when you look at her. i hope that, when you look into her eyes for just a second too long, her face becomes mine. i hope you can see my face in the rain, in the clouds, i hope i’m everywhere. i hope you never find another girl who can fit your dick down her throat, i hope i’ll be the only person who’s ever let you feel that. i hope all the girls, that you’ll ever fuck, don’t even care enough to try and fit you down her throat. i hope you never get the courage to tell her about your kinks. i hope that, if you do tell her, she laughs in your face, the same exact way you laughed in my face while i was crying. i hope you’re never able to open up, that you’re never able to be vulnerable around anybody ever again. i hope that im the only person you’ve ever known who actually cared, who actually wanted to help you, who is actually in love with your most hidden, dark, naked, defenseless places. i hope you’re never able to nut inside a girl again. i hope that, every time you’re tryna fuck someone, you nut before you even put your dick in her. i hope that every sexual experience you ever have, forever, will only either be embarrassment or frustration. i hope you embarrass yourself during every important first impression ever, i hope you stumble over your words and completely forget what you need to say. i hope that, everyday, for the rest of your life, you realize just how bad you fucked up. i hope you know exactly how you hurt me, exactly what you should have done different. i hope you regret hurting me so bad, and so often, and that the guilt from how you treated me slowly eats away at you for the rest of your years here on this earth.

i hope that the girl you’re in love with lies to you about absolutely everything, that she manipulates the hell outta you, that she leads you on for multiple years. i hope she crashes your car, i hope she takes all your money, i hope she steals your motorcycle. actually, i hope you never have enough money to buy your own motorcycle. i hope she’s so intelligent, and that she tricks you so well, that once she’s taken absolutely everything you have, she tells you she never loved you, it was always fake, you hallucinated it all. i hope she makes you feel as crazy as you’ve made me feel. i hope she convinces you that y’all don’t need a prenup. i hope you regret that choice immensely. i hope she fucks with your mental so bad that once she’s gone you’ll have no idea what was and what wasn’t real. i hope you’re left, depressed as fuck, sobbing to yourself, sat there alone, wondering if she ever really loved you, was it you or her ? i hope you’re never able to pinpoint the fact that it was always fake. i hope she leaves you so confused, and so, so hurt. i hope you feel so alone after her, that you finally want to talk over what you’re feeling, you finally want to open up, but you realize you don’t have anybody you could talk to. i hope your skin breaks out worse than ever before. i hope that every time you pop your acne, that makes it way worse. i hope you can’t ever gain weight again. i hope you get skinnier, actually. i hope that you never feel confident enough to comfortably walk around with your shirt off, ever again. i hope that you think back through your memories, and that you realize the only time you’ve ever felt confident in your skin, it was with me. i hope that, one day, you’ll look down at your tattoo and realize that it’s spelled wrong. i hope every time you look at that beer tab brand on your thigh it makes you crave my touch, my arms around you, that it makes you feel guilty as hell for everything you’ve done to me. i hope every single one of your favorite juice wrld songs reminds you of me. i hope that you spend the rest of your life going in circles, never making any progress. i hope your “brothers” realize you told me way, way more than you should have about all that gang shit, and i hope they kick you out for it. i hope you live as long as possible, and that you spend every single one of your days missing me miserably. i hope that, for the rest of forever, you’re chasing some magical female that’s exactly the same as me, hoping that she can give you the same feelings i did, that she will do everything that i did for you, that she’s willing to give up what i gave up for you. hoping she’ll wait years for you, that she will feel the exact same in your arms as i did, that she acts the exact same as i do, just without the crazy.

the most fucked up part is, i don’t want any of this. i want you to stay clean, and i hope you manage to quit drinking as well. beyond that, i really just want you to come back and apologize. but all this sounds a lot better. there is a little, teeny tiny, itsy bitsy part of me, hidden way deep down inside me, that wants to see you hurt. that hopes you feel as icky as you’ve made me feel. she is really really small, but she’s there.

#spilled thoughts #hope #im hurtin #maybe #what if #why

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roguestarsailor · 1 year

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Why did I even come out here for?? I’m literally not having fun. I thought I could be a different person and finally feel like I’m thriving and successful after moving out of my home town and into this new city with new opportunities and experiences. I thought I could find romance out here, I thought I could finally feel like I belong, and I thought I could be this driven creative person but I’m deadass not. I’m quite miserable actually. And the same problems that plague me back home is still with me here. I mean I knew this but it’s very real now and it feels amplified because I’m by myself so often or I’m surrounded by people I WANT to be or wish I could be and I spend too much time in my head. I don’t know if maybe I’m just jet lagged and tired, or I’m not eating well but I am crashing again. Like I am feeling very sad and lonely and heartbroken and unsettled and unsuccessful and confused and I feel like I lack direction and purpose and I feel absolutely hopeless in the romance department and have absolutely nothing else going for me. I thought I found a good group of friends but I still feel like I’m wearing a mask and I feel like I need to run to catch up to them or else they’ll leave me behind. Sometimes it feels like maybe I’m defining friendship wrong? It also makes me sad when I see they clearly have other friends and are doing other things (in separate group chats that I am no apart of). I love that they like doing things but since I’ve been on trip I feel like I’m coming back and missing a million things and I feel left out. I feel physically tired and I want to pump the brakes but I feel like I’m being left behind. I feel like I’m alternating between personalities sometimes and I think I’m going insane. I am not thriving in my job and I hate my title (and reading my performance review it looks like that title isn’t changing anytime soon and my quality of work is actually bad or at least at the level that my stupid title is). I like where I work but I’m no where near where I want to be and it feels like a longer road than I thought and I feel like I’m running out of time. I also can’t dress the way I want because I don’t have anything to justify looking that way; I would feel like a fraud and like a child playing dress up pretending to be confident and commanding and everyone takes my work seriously and it matters and it makes me sad and annoyed. Don’t get me started on my body image. I’m ugly everywhere!!!! And I’m still obsessed over that one guy! For what?? IDK!! I want to get over it and be mature and be realistic but my heart won’t let me. My brain spirals a lot when it comes to him and I’m 2 seconds away from deleting Instagram because his friends posts things that clearly indicate he’s there (his dog every yt person absolutely loves for some reason??) and we just don’t talk enough to care but it’s also wtf? Are we friends at minimum?? I feel so stressed and confused by this. Anyways, I’m fucken miserable. I’m still sick and honestly I’m blowing out every single fluid out my goddamn nose and I am angry at my body about that too. Laying in bed makes me want to cry and all I can do is overthink and over analyze and hardcore fantasize about a better life with a skinny body and wish I had someone to comfort me and make me congee and rub my forehead!! This all makes me feel absolutely terrible!!

#amandathoughts #sad thoughts #this is growing up eh #fucken hate my twenties

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vanawki · 2 years

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the list of strawhats most to least comfortable about being buck-ass naked in front of a crowd

-franky: this dude has an exhibitionist kink probsbly. he takes off his speedo, aka the maximum lower region clothing he'd ever wear, regularly outside to air out his balls. its not that that he doesnt care, he relishes in it. its a power trip.

-luffy: canonically yelled it AINT a MUSHROOM to an unknown woman wearing a bikini as she pulled on his dick in front of a bunch of other leather bikini wearing unknown women and he didnt give a single fuck and stood in front of them with his hands on his waist. cares 0 amount, but is lower than franky bc franky cares in YES POSITIVE way.

-chopper: my dude was a fucking reinder. do reindeers wear clothes? NOPE. he wore his liddul shorts for hiriluk's sake and then learned that ppl SHOULD WEAR COTHES through osmosis so it doesnt come "naturally" to him but he had too much anxiety to fit in with humans that he foced the concept of modesty and clothing into being wired in his mind.

-nami: while she does dislike being undressed in front of a bunch of unknown ppl and/or sanji/usopp-esques who'd Make It Weird, she would, could, and did undress for whatever goal she has, for money or scheming. nakedness is also a tool, and she'd use it.

-robin: she is Not Concious of Her Body Image, no thank you :) her devil fruit body parts manifest unclothed, and being shy about this sort of thing wouldve killed her in on 20 years on the run era. she likes wearing layers and more concealing clothing when she can, though.

-jinbe: look, while he comes from a place where half of the people dont wear anything on the bottom region bc THEY DONT HAVE TO/CANT REALLY, he understands the concept of modesty, and he'd rather not see any "privates" of his crewmates, or them seeing his if they dont have to. he is rather new on the crew, after all. but i dont think he truly cares about that sort of thing as a whole since HELLOOO. orphan who grew alongside other orphans who raised each other, had been in an army for long term, then in a pirate ship for a longer term, there's no avoiding seeing exposed skin through his occupations in life.

-zoro: its not that he is modest, or has much of a sense of shame, he's not swinging out a fucking 4th sword, ok?! while he himself doesnt enjoy being naked unless circumstances, he would not go have a meltdown over seeing someone naked either. he'd just rather not.

-brook: JUST BC SOME OF US DOESNT HAVE THE SOFT TISSUE ANYMORE DOESNT MEAN WE'RE SLUTS WHO'D SHOW OUR PUBIC BONES YOHOHOHOHO. i mean he's been a pirate for a long time, and was also a part of a kingdom's army/a soldier, so he absulotely was familiar with this, but it has been 50 YEARS OF BEING IN A SHIP WITH HIS CREWMATES' CORPSES. HE IS ADJUSTING TO SOCIETY AS A WHOLE, ON TOP OF CHANGED SOCIAL NORMS. he'd have to find his footing first, and see just how comfortable his new crewmates are with a walking talking literal bare bones before doing anything beyond asking for panty jokes.

-usopp: he had the most unusual raising in his liddul hometown, but he is probably the most normal one about this kind of stuff in the crew, plus he is a anxious hormonal young man. let him avoid this exploding star.

-sanji: oh boy.

#sort of ns/fw?#nudity #one piece #ranking #meme #strawhats #monkey d. luffy #franky op #tony tony chopper #roronoa zoro #nami op #nico robin #black leg sanji #jinbei #usopp #brook op #vnwk

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palms-upturned · 2 years

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thinking about… rgu and abusers… and the nature of stories and making symbols and allegories of people… how to put this…

the rose bride is a symbol, she’s an empty dress that collapses when you look closely and see there’s nothing more to it than the trappings. anthy was never in there. it’s literally the costume she wears to play her role… and so anthy is treated as a symbol and an allegory by everyone around her who casts her in that role, even utena… she represents different things to different people depending on how they respond to that symbol of traditional femininity, but what they all have in common is ignoring her interiority, until utena loses that first duel with touga and realizes that there’s a lot she has yet to understand about anthy and she’ll have to make a conscious effort… something something about the gondola sequence and utena watching anthy’s image disappear and leave the trappings behind, only for a rose bush to grow in her place and fill the empty space just as easily…

and then you have how people like nanami and even touga have misgivings about letting utena go to the final duel, knowing the truth about akio, but they consider anthy a lost cause… she’s not a person to them, she’s a symbol of what they can’t bear to see about themselves, which is their own victimhood… touga wants to prove that he’s a prince, not just another one of akio’s victims. nanami wants to prove that she’s not just another fly in the swarm, i.e. someone who could end up in anthy’s position just as easily. utena is different to them, she’s guileless… touga takes it to the extreme and tries to replace akio as her prince to “save” her, when really it’s all more about patching up his own wounded ego than anything. nanami comes back and specifically interrupts the moment when utena is trying to define her feelings about anthy, and calls utena stupid and dense and warns her to stay away from the chairman and anthy because “you’re being tricked.” touga fails to realize that utena is already in the process of realizing what’s been happening to her and it’s too late to really “save” her or to prevent the worst from coming to pass. nanami fails to realize that utena has just found out the truth that anthy has been hiding akio’s nature from her and was being used to lure utena into the lion’s den. she knows she’s been tricked already, and is grappling with how to move forward.

i don’t think this applies only to the kiryuus but i’m singling them out in particular because they’re the ones who (by the end at least) know the most about the situation in the chairman’s household and so project the most onto utena and anthy… i think it’s interesting how they project innocence onto utena and guilt onto anthy. utena is the guileless victim who they (eventually) find themselves feeling strangely desperate to try and save. nanami projects frustration to the point of agony with utena being “dense” and not realizing she’s “being tricked” by people she loves. all of her conversations with utena from episode 32 onward involve nanami being angry or frustrated about how utena can’t seem to get a clue. she tries, albeit derisively, to get utena to wake up and smell the (thematically relevant har har) roses. but she can’t go so far as to tell utena what she saw or have an honest conversation about it because 1) she’s still processing it (we even see later that trying to say out loud what she saw makes her feel ill and she can’t bear to do it), 2) it would require admitting that utena upsets her because nanami has been just like her all this time: blinded by love and trust (and childhood innocence) to the obvious signs 😔 meanwhile, like she always has, nanami projects everything she hates and fears about herself onto anthy. anthy is duplicitous, anthy is scary, anthy is weird for having the feelings she does about her abusive older brother, anthy isn’t a person anymore. utena is the kitten in the box and anthy is the one standing at the riverbank, steeling herself to drop it.

meanwhile touga does the same thing, but filtered even more specifically through a misogynistic lens. onto utena he projects innocence and vulnerability, she’s the princess he must rescue by winning her heart from akio! her reasons for being unable to move forward are as simple as being “in love” with the chairman, and the solution is as simple as making utena fall in love with him instead, and his own motives for trying to help her are as simple as being in love with her. he tries to make it all adhere neatly to the script that he knows. all the while akio has started to openly and gleefully humiliate touga as his duel approaches and he starts realizing not only is he going to lose, but this was always the intention. utena has always been the special chosen one, not touga. BUT not if he projects all of his feelings of helplessness away from himself and onto utena. he can still be special if he beats akio at his own game and becomes the superior prince. he can still pretend he has control if he tries to take control of utena’s situation. utena is the victim here, not touga! utena is the guileless kid who fell in love with the charismatic chairman who promised her a place to belong, not touga! utena is the one in desperate need of help, not touga!

meanwhile like nanami, he projects all the things he hates about himself onto anthy. even after all the times they schemed together in the first arc, even though each of them knew the other’s truth in ways no one else did, touga still couldn’t resist gleefully lording what little advantage he did have over anthy. he tells her that the greenhouse is a cage, and he’s going to keep her locked in there forever, nevermind the fact that he has yet to make it to the other side of the bars. he never entertains any notion of trying to rescue her the way he does utena, not even for self serving reasons. he warns utena to be wary of both end of the world and the rose bride. he tells her that only a fool would go to the final duel for not only friendship’s sake in general, but anthy’s sake. anthy is duplicitous! (unlike me) the rose bride is too beholden to end of the world! (unlike me) she’s beyond saving! (unlike me… right?)

utena is the pure hearted, guileless, innocent princess in the tower who must be rescued. anthy is the witch on the pyre, her fate tragic but inevitable. utena is the perfectly blameless victim. anthy is the victim who is too weak willed or evil or stupid or too in love with her captor to have any hope of escaping.

nanami and touga are each both of these things and neither and they can’t stand it. everything has to fit a narrative that makes sense and is satisfying. you can only be one thing or the other: good victim or bad victim. victim or not a victim. anthy is a bad victim, utena is a good victim, but i am neither himemiya anthy nor tenjou utena. i’m smarter, more assertive, i see the signs and i’m doing something about it. so i’m not a victim. i dodged the bullet. i’m different. aren’t i…?

but these situations are far more complex than that, obviously. and the kiryuus are victims. they’re also perpetrators. they both use what power they have within the system to hurt and belittle others in order to cope with being hurt and belittled (though this is obviously proportionate to the amount of power they hold, making touga the far more sinister character). they both worship their abusers and are desperate for their affection and approval even as they start to realize that they’re being abused. they both were willing to make scapegoats of other people, mainly anthy. touga even uses the same grooming tactics on utena in the first arc that he then tries to “save” her from in the third. there is no easy way to categorize them, no narrative that they fit neatly into. they are both the cat in the box and the potential murderer standing on the riverbank. utena is anthy is utena is anthy is touga is nanami and also none of them are each other.

once the show is over and the roles have served their purpose, once the actors shed their costumes, there’s still the actor. there’s still a person who moves through the real world and whose actions have consequences and whose life is not always sensical or satisfying. a costume can be filled by anyone. even a rose bush can fill anthy’s clothes. even someone like akio can dress like a prince. anthy is not the rose bride. she’s a person in pain, and sometimes that pain is ugly. utena’s pain is sometimes ugly. and their love for one another at times defies explanation. it isn’t something that falls neatly into place, it’s what they actively choose to make of it. utena chooses to open the coffin and try to see anthy for the person that she is. and anthy looks back at her and accepts utena and her love for what they are. and so they shed their costumes and leave the stage for the real world.

at the same time, rgu is obviously a constructed narrative in itself. utena still represents an ideal, just a very different one. nanami and touga defying any attempts to fit them neatly into a role or archetype is in itself a narrative choice. we express what is inexpressible through allegories and metaphors, we understand one another through experiences and narratives and patterns we’ve observed, and through the images that people project into the world, and the images that we project onto others from within ourselves. idk how to end this post honestly. it’s just something i think about constantly. there will always be a theatrical, symbolic element to life, huh… we’re all just casting shadows and doing our best to fill in that space where the light doesn’t touch

#revolutionary girl utena #csa mention #abuse mention #idk i get hung up on the shadow girls and also the gondola sequence shsbdjcb

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just-a-sleepy-idiot · 3 years

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Valak Imagine: Him seeing you for the first time

Content/Warnings: Nun!Reader, Female!Reader, Blaspemic stuff since it's written out of a demons perspective after all, Based of the movie 'The Nun', Major Spoilers for the Nun!!, Kinda soft Valak

He had paced these holy halls so many times, disguised to sow fear in the nuns that lived here- showing them that evil was among them looking like one of their own. He mocked them with this form, and soon enough death had grasped all of them, all up to one last woman.

Valak wished to take over one of their bodies, but he couldn't deny the satisfaction when the last one chose to commit one of the worst sins the Bible knew, taking her life rather than letting him take over her mortal existence. He thought it was quite funny, to see one of gods devote believers choosing to do this to oppose a demon. He wondered which outcome would have taken on worse judgement- taking her own life or letting her precious little body get taken over by a demon?

He already waited, yearned for others to come which they eventually would. Toying with their sanity and their beliefs, he already felt the arrival of two devote believers coming close.

Eventually you were here- first a priest, and Valak could look deep into his heart and see his guilt haunting him, guilt that the demon would use to torment him later on- this priest and you.

You were wearing a dress, but you might as well have worn the white robes because you emitted something.. pure. No human was ever fully pure, not like they wanted to be, and you too had your yearnings and troubles of course but he saw purity because you were fully aware of them and faced yourself with clarity and judgement.

You weren't a blind follower of the book, driven by blindness, guilt or foolishness.

Valak huffed in contempt, instantly feeling how the opposing nature of his origin and your devotion was stirring up inside of him. Like magnets, wanting to draw each other away.

You stayed now for two nights, and he had already begun playing his schemes with the priest but you.. he still only.. watched. He still only observed you, and he wasn't sure why he was so hesitant.

You were only a mortal after all, you would tremble at the mere sight of him. He felt no fear, so maybe it was.. curiosity?

His demonic nature longed to corrupt you, to teach you fear and see you scream like the other nuns. He was the defiler, the profane, the Marquie of snakes. He wanted to mock and corrupt and watch the ones who serve god crumble in their beliefs.

So why did he keep his distance with you?

A few days went by, and both you and the priest slowly begun to understand what had happened here and how it was tied to the evil that was roaming this place.

Valak had shown you images of the nuns that lived here, and you were believing everything as if it was actually happening. He watched you interact with your environment and with the shadows of the ones that were gone already.

And one day he decided to show himself. Looking like the nun he chose to torment the others with but a little.. softer, a little bit more disarming. With features that he guessed would invoke trust from humans.

When he approached you, you felt someone looking at you without hearing a single step. When you turned around, you were met with green eyes and looked up to a tall nun. There was something strangely.. intense about her, yet you had a feeling like you could feel safe despite of that.

"How do you like it here so far?" How long has it been since he had used words of the human world..

"I like it a lot. I've been treated very well here, the only thing that worries me is the wellbeing of Father Burke. He had horrifying things happening to him."

Valak suppressed a smile, yes he did indeed. "I see."

He continued on talking to you, spying on what it was that a nun like you was thinking by conversing with you.

"Have you been taught about demons, Sister Y/n?"

This question.. had something off-putting, as if you felt like despite her calm and cool expression she was very interested in whatever you might say next.

"Of course, Sister Val." You fumbled with your hands, "Although none of my fellow sisters ever seemed to really take matters of evil very seriously." They concentrated so much on the good that they didn't seem to take the bad forces in the world seriously. They felt too secure.

Valak knew how easily everyone wanted to forget what was waiting outside of their churches, their holy little homes that they felt so safe in. "And what do you think of them?"

You looked up into the green eyes of the tall woman, frowning at that question. No one ever asked about.. an opinion of these things, because it was taught that everything unholy like the creatures of hell were bad and there was no other way to see them.

"The forces of god as well as those of evil are constantly opposing each other. They are bad, they are destructive and against every living being." Your gaze dropped, "But.. I think that is part of the balance, the way it naturally has to be. Of course we have to fight evil, but I don't think just like evil neither does good is supposed to win. And therefore demons are.. just like us," you looked up again and smiled shyly, "something like soldiers?"

Valak stared at you without saying a word.

Just like them?! No, no you were just a mortal, just a flesh puppet. He was above the pity skills of gods creation! There was no way you were alike.

How strange it was to be thinking that while he literally looked like one of them, using the human tongue to communicate and observing this woman instead of following the unholy urges of destruction that were given to his very existence.

And suddenly, you were pressed against the wall, held high up by the nun who's expression now cruelly turned into something demonic. You gasped, unable to look away as he growled darkly at you. He was done playing, he should just snap your neck right there.

But.. he didn't- he couldn't! The demon growled in frustration, harshly pressing you against the wall even more before suddenly letting you go.

"Your foolish beliefs will not earn his favor, little one. You should go back to blindly being his devoted sheep."

You hurried to stand up again, leaning against the wall for stability after your fall with rapid breathing. The green eyes now begun to glow, almost like gold, and Valak loomed over you.

"Leave, leave and send someone as blind as the others, you are not amusing anymore."

You begun to run, candles lit along your way and blew out after you passed. You looked back as you sprinted through the stone corridor and saw the outline of a horned figure watching you go.

You were carrying a forbidden truth with you, something that he did not wish to defy. He wanted you to live, he wanted this truth to blossom within you. Maybe it would corrupt you.. but maybe it would make you even surpass all the others.

Valak would find a way to cross paths with you again.

- - -

I hope you liked it! If you are offended by the religious stuff please know that this is based off a movie and what is written in here is fiction and not a reflection of my actual beliefs so pls don't rage in my comments

#valak x reader #the nun #the conjuring #the conjuring 2 #conjuring valak #slashers x reader

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hqbaby · 2 years

Text

06. flirting 101 | 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐝 (𝐦𝐢𝐲𝐚 𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫)

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(written portion! you can find a summary at the bottom if you have difficulty or simply don't feel like reading large chunks of text<33 word count: 739)

Atsumu was a flirt.

He knew how to make hearts stop with one look, how to trigger a barrage of love letters with a single wink, how to make someone fall absolutely in love with him without even glancing in their direction.

He was a master in the art of flirting, just like Matisse was with a pair of scissors and Beethoven was with the piano.

So why did he feel so tongue-tied with you?

Granted, he was a little drunk (his words, not Suna’s) and he had spent the better part of the last hour crying over Kita’s baby corn (seriously though, how did he do it?) so he wasn’t exactly in peak flirting mode. Still, he had never been so bad at flirting as he was with you.

It wasn’t like the universe hadn’t arranged for the perfect first impression. In fact, it was quite literally the perfect way for him to have met you.

You were standing by the circulation desk at the only 24-hour library on campus wearing a dress that looked like it had been pulled straight from a fairytale. You looked weary, your hair that must have been perfectly done sometime that night was already in a state of disarray and your focus was drawn to your hands as they played with something he couldn’t quite see—but you looked perfect.

If anything, you looked like an angel who had just gotten off the bus from heaven. A mess, but a perfect one.

Atsumu, on the other hand, wasn’t too bad himself. Aside from his eyes being red and puffy from all the crying had just done (damn that perfect baby corn), he still looked very much the image of a boy heading to a college party for a properly fun time.

To Atsumu, everything about the scene was absolutely perfect. So how did he manage to get it so wrong?

It started when you offered him a polite smile of acknowledgement as he approached you at the desk. You slipped whatever you had been playing with into your pocket and glanced at the clock.

11:10 PM.

As he got closer and you realized that he looked like he had been crying, your lips parted in a quiet shock.

“Are you alright?” you asked him as he came up to the desk beside you.

Atsumu, who was still so wrapped up in his head over the fact that you looked stunning and that he had this terrifying urge to get to know who you were, gaped. Then, he blinked, slightly surprised to see that you were still there.

He’s really drunk, you thought to yourself, holding your laughter in because, as drunk as he was, he was still a stranger and you had a hunch that he wasn’t emotionally prepared to be laughed at.

Finally, he opened his mouth. And, as soon as he spoke, he wished that he could swallow his words and keep them deep in the pits of his stomach—or better yet, vomit them out with whatever else had gotten into his system that night and never see them again.

“Ya look like baby corn.”

To his surprise, you didn’t laugh, instead froze with your breath hitched in your throat.

You cleared your throat. “Sorry, what did you say?”

Atsumu shook his head, his face that was already red from alcohol now redder from what he had just deemed a good pick-up line for a girl like you. “Nothing,” he said, voice slightly higher than usual as he turned in panic to walk away. “Sorry.”

Then, suddenly, you grabbed his shoulder, holding him back. “What did you say?”

Atsumu turned back around to look at you as you stared at him with wide, almost pleading, eyes. You looked as if your life depended on his stupid spur-of-the-moment declaration and something in him said that he couldn’t just walk away from you and forget all about it.

“I said,” he rubbed the back of his head awkwardly as he offered a sheepish smile. “That ya look like baby corn.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Oh,” was all you managed to say.

“Yeah,” Atsumu murmured, trying his best to avoid your gaze and realizing that, for some reason, he couldn’t help but look at you.

You snapped out of your daze and pulled your hand that was still resting on his shoulder away.

“Do you wanna go get some coffee?”

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: A drunken Atsumu and a weary-eyed Y/N meet for the first time in a 24-hour library.

𝐚/𝐧 : this chapter was so fun to write, i just love writing cheesy meet-cutes. i had two versions of this chapter, this one written from atsumu’s perspective and another from y/n’s, but i ultimately decided on atsumu because i felt like his side of their meeting made more sense. anyway, this has been a blast<33

☏ 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦!

#hqbaby.td #hqbaby #haikyuu #miya atsumu #atsumu #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu x reader #haikyuu x reader #miya atsumu smau #atsumu smau #haikyuu smau

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neon-back-alley · 2 years

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Coukd you do a reader who’s (somehow) friends with Tsumugi, Korekiyo, and Kokichi?

You could just pick one of them if this is too much! Thank you!

Tsumugi, Korekiyo, and Kokichi Friendship Headcannons

Hey hey! Thanks for requesting! I'll do your other request separately to have it be less confusing. I also have another request in my inbox, so I might do that one before the other to be more fair.

Also, I made their friendship headcannons separate because the three of them in a single friend group would split my head in two.

Cw: Cussing, slight mention of cannibalism, very slight nsfw mention

Characters: Tsumugi Shirogane, Korekiyo Shinguuji, and Kokichi Ouma

Other: Y/n = Your name (it's not romantic so I'm using Y/n LMAO)

Tsumugi Shirogane

So so sweet to you.

You'll have to cheer her up for being so "plain"

"I'm sorry you have to hang out with someone as plain as me, Y/n... I even wear glasses! That's so plain!"

Welcome to Tsumugi's vocabulary.

Plain

Welcome to the end of Tsumugi's vocabulary.

She probably will might get jealous if you're spending time with someone else.

She adores watching animes with you. She also does it to cheer you up.

You'll have to listen to her criticize it the whole time, so just be patient

Genuinely a prodigy at make-up. If you like having your make-up done, she's your gal and she'll make you look more stunning than you already do. Also paints your nails and makes them look super pretty.

Since she has experience with styling wigs, she's also good at styling your hair if you ask her to.

Cheer her up about her body image. She's super self conscious about it.

Korekiyo Shinguuji

Hope you're able to sit still.

He'll be constantly discussing stories from places you both find interesting in some way.

"The Wendigo was created as a creature to scare others to prevent cannibalism during the cold, starving winter. It is truly mesmerizing the lengths that humans will go to avoid death as much as possible, don't you think, Y/n?"

You'll probably learn some interesting facts about popular stories.

You'll also learn his amazing hair care routine. It's honestly impressive.

He's a bit unaccustomed to friendship with others, so please be patient with him :(

If you two have discussed a certain story of folklore, he'll point out when a show or movie has mention / influence of that story.

Sometimes you'll catch him doing his eyeliner and it's honestly so impressive how he can do it in under 10 seconds.

He might let you braid his hair if you two are alone.

Might.

He loves you dearly and considers you his first real friend

Might cry if he tells you that.

Pat his shoulder he'll need it.

Calls you beautiful like all the time he's so sweet ughwjrneen

Kokichi Ouma

He's so fucking loud and for what

Sometimes he has a bag of skittles but upon closer inspection, they're all grape flavored. Fucking rat.

He took time out of his day to separate the purple ones from the other flavors.

Both of you have spent time in jail due to his shenanigans.

Spending the afternoon playing pranks on literally everyone.

Depending on if you're low energy or not, you'll have a handful like constantly

Also makes a habit of embarrassing you sometimes.

"Y/n, do you mind being a little more quiet tonight? I could hear you playing with yourself all night!"

Yeah he said it at the dinner table.

You have to get used to it.

Have to.

He's a god damn raccoon too. Got something on your plate? Not anymore have fun starving, nerd.

He's not all bad, though. He'll share his grape snacks with you. Aww!

Welcome back to me slandering one of my own kins part 3.

-Mod Ibuki

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