kevin really got a hot-classical-music-goth-gf by simply mentioning being a virgin and he got to be in a band huh?

The Tonight Show

Chris Evans x Daughter!Reader

Chris Evans Masterlist

Warnings; Fluff, some swearing, mentions of drugs, mentions of mental illness, Jimmy Fallon and Jaeden Martell make appearances

Word count; 2.3k

A/N; I'm bored of corona so that doesn't exist here, you're also dating Jaeden Martell because he's baby and also this went on to also be a Jaeden x Reader too, oops.

--

"And tonight's special guests are Chris Evans and his daughter, Y/N Evans," You stood behind the door and waited for it to lift. You smiled when it did and you heard people cheering and clapping. You walked over to the couch and sat down on it, while your dad sat on the single-seat nearest to the desk. "Hi guys, thank you for coming. Y/N, this is your first time on the show, how do you feel?" Jimmy asked you. You laughed nervously and put your hands on your lap.

"Kinda nervous, and kinda scared, to be completely honest," You said. Both your dad and Jimmy laughed.

"I had to drag her out of bed this morning, she wouldn't budge," Chris said, you turned to him and gave him a fake angry glare. "One of the many joys of having a teenage daughter,"

"Does it take a lot of effort?" Jimmy asked. Chris chuckled and nodded.

"Oh yeah, it's tough. Y/N could easily sleep through a nuclear war," Chris continued.

"I am here, you know," You reminded him. "And you aren't any better, dear father," You scolded him. Chris raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Since you two are clearly eager to embarrass each other in some way, we're gonna play a little game. Chris, you've played this before with your brother, Scott," Jimmy said. Chris began to laugh, which made you nervous. "I don't really have a name for it, but this game is incredibly easy, Y/N," You nodded.

"By the way, he reacted I'm gonna guess that it was 'Know Your Bro' and that I'm going to be exposed," Chris nodded and turned to you. Jimmy handed you a phone and a pair of noise-cancelling headphones on. "This should be fun," You said loudly.

"Okay, Chris. When Y/N was younger, what was the most typical thing a kid would do you gave her into trouble for?" He asked. Chris thought for a moment before sighing.

"The first thing that comes to mind was when she about 4 or 5 and she got into the paint in her room, that I had purposely put on top of her wardrobe so she couldn't reach it," Chris said. Jimmy laughed and looked over at you. You looked around, seeing people's reactions. "And so I went to check on her because she was being suspiciously quiet and I go into her room and find her covered in yellow, green and red paint. It took me a good few days to get the red out of her hair," He explained.

"Alright, Y/N," Jimmy waved to get your attention and laughed at the clueless look on your face.

"I'm scared," You admitted. Chris laughed.

"Okay, we asked your dad what was the most typical thing you did that your dad gave you into trouble for?" He asked. You looked to your dad, who avoided your eyes because you had a way of using your eyes to get him to tell you things. "Don't look at each other,"

"Alright um...I'm gonna take a wild guess that it's the time I took the paints and covered myself in them?" You said. Everyone burst out laughing and nodded, making you laugh. "I haven't done many things wrong, I'm an absolute angel!" You laughed.

"That is a lie if I've ever heard one," Chris murmured. "Alright, my turn," You handed your dad the phone and the headphones and then turned to Jimmy.

"Okay, Y/N, what is the most embarrassing thing you've ever caught your dad doing?" Jimmy asked you. Thoughts ran through your head until you got the one.

"Well, there's been a lot. But I think the most embarrassing has to be the time I caught him singing Avril Lavigne while he was cleaning the kitchen. And this was like 3 weeks ago when I came downstairs to get me and my boyfriend something to drink, and he was just there singing about skater boys, it was something I don't wanna see again, and I think if Dodger could speak he would say the same," The crowd burst into laughter and you grinned. You nudged your dad, who was clearly having the vibe of his life to whatever was playing from the headphones, with your elbow, telling him to take the headphones off.

"Chris, we asked Y/N what the most embarrassing thing she has ever caught you doing, what do you think she said?" Jimmy asked your dad. Chris was thinking for a moment before he sighed.

"Is it when I woke you up with blaring spice girls from by bedroom unironically?" You burst out laughing, along with everyone else in the studio. Tears of laughter formed in your eyes as you shook your head while bent over in half. "Oh no!" Chris cried. You sat back up and looked over at him apologetically.

"Do you remember the time Jaeden was over and I came down for a drink, you didn't see me, but you had your AirPods in and you were singing Skater Boy by Avril Lavigne very loudly," You told him.

"And you didn't tell me?" He asked you. You laughed and shook your head. "That is the ultimate betrayal, Y/N, honestly,"

"In that case Chris, you'll be glad to hear you get to finish off this game by exposing your daughter!" Jimmy cheered. Your jaw dropped and you smiled, shaking your head.

"I'll get you back for this," You pointed to Jimmy jokingly and put the headphones on, pressing play on the phone.

"Last question, so Chris, what is something Y/N did but has never told you she did, but you know because she's not a very good liar?" Jimmy asked. Chris chuckled and then looked at you, seeing you were looking down at the pattern on your dress.

"The thing that comes to mind is when she snuck her boyfriend in the window and thinks I didn't see him climbing up to her window, and neither of them is able to talk very quietly, and this is coming from the king of sneaking girls into his room," Chris said. "I hope this is what she's thinking, otherwise this could end up like an episode of Dr. Phil," Your dad turned to you and slid the headphones off of your head.

"Y/N, we asked your dad, what is one thing you have done and never told your dad about?" You froze and put your bottom lip out, laughing nervously again.

"Um...Can I pass questions or?" Your dad looked at you and you couldn't help but smile. "Okay um, I'm trying to think of something that won't get me into a lot of trouble," You said quietly.

"Are-are you implying there's more than one?" Jimmy fake fell from his seat and then got back up, his jaw practically on the floor.

"Maybe, but anyway," The audience laughed and Chris looked around, confusion clear on his face. "The only thing I can think of at this very moment is when I snuck Jaeden up into my room," You crossed your fingers hoping it was right, and you took the sigh of relief from your dad as a yes.

"Okay, alright. So, can we just talk about how amazing actors both of you are? Chris, your new Apple TV series is fantastic," Jimmy said. Chris smiled and nodded.

"Thank you, Y/N would say so because she got a boyfriend outta it," He said.

"I thought that the game was over," You murmured. "But yeah, I watched it with one of my friends from school and the ending had me sobbing," You admitted.

"If we're talking about making people cry, can we talk about Y/N in 'One Of Us'? For anyone who has been living under a rock and not seen it, here is the trailer for Y/N's latest movie," They showed the trailer, making you blush, mainly because you hate seeing yourself on screen. "Now, Y/N, you said that on a press tour, getting into the mindset of your Elliot was one of the hardest things you ever had to do,"

"Yeah, I mean, it's a pretty hard-hitting movie for a lot of people, it deals with addiction and mental illnesses, and so it was a lot of sitting down and talking to people who had gone through similar things," You said. Jimmy nodded and Chris took your hand.

"Now, your character's dad, Dean, is played by Ewan Mcgregor, right?" You laughed and nodded. "Did you know Ewan before your roll?"

"Not personally, like most people I had seen him in Star Wars and when I got told that he was being cast I think I went into tears in the living room,"

"I can confirm that. I ran in from the kitchen because I thought she hurt herself but no, she was crying because she was gonna meet Obi-Wan Kenobi," Everyone laughed. "But, I mean yeah, I saw One Of Us when the whole family went and there's this one scene where Dean is trying to get Elliot off of drugs and he locks her in her room, she screams and cries for him to let her out because she's scared and doesn't want to be alone, it was that scene that got me," Chris explained. Jimmy nodded and hummed.

"Was that a hard scene to film, Y/N?" He asked you.

"Yeah, it really was. I think because it's a really big point in the movie and you learn a lot about the characters at that scene you really do have to...I don't know, like give it 110%,"

"Moving on from that, quickly, Chris I have to ask, how did it feel finding out that your fake son is dating your real daughter?" Jimmy inquired.

"Well, it a little more since they hid from me for about 6 months," You smiled and batted your eyelashes innocently. "But I was okay with it. Jaeden's a good kid, I worked with on Knives Out and I could trust him not to hurt my kid. But Y/N's being little miss angry because she hasn't seen him for a few weeks," Chris said that last part hoping you would pick up on what he was suggesting, but as per usual, you didn't.

"Well, Y/N, we'd hate to keep him waiting any longer. Ladies and gentlemen, Jaeden Martell!" Jaeden peaked his head out from behind the curtain and smiled at you, making your jaw drop. You had never run quicker in your life.

"Oh my God!" You squealed as you ran to him and put your arms around him. "Why didn't you tell me?" You asked him, looking up at him. Jaeden chuckled.

"And miss that incredible look on your face? I would never," He tilted his head down, getting his now blonde hair in yours and his eyes and pecking you on the nose.

"Hey! PDA, you two," Your dad pointed out.

"Big Evans, little Evans and Jaeden, it has been lovely to see you all, but that is all we have time for tonight!"

--

You sat in the back of the car going back to the hotel, Jaeden sat beside you. Your dad looked in the rearview mirror and chuckled.

"If I see anything more than holding hands back there," He murmured not so quietly. You looked to Jaeden, who looked at you as if he knew what you were about to ask your dad. You let out a sigh.

"Hey, dad?" He hummed. "When we get back to the hotel...can I stay in Jae's room?" You asked. You avoided looking at any mirrors.

"Alright," He said. Your eyes shot open in shock, you weren't expecting him to say yes. You didn't question it though, so, when your dad pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, you didn't waste any time in dragging your boyfriend out of the car. You grabbed your backpack from your dad's room and brought it to Jaedens, dumping out your laptop.

"That sounded kinda expensive," Jaeden said in concern.

"Let's hope it only sounded expensive because if it is I spent about 50 dollars on movies I can't even watch," You said. You had both changed into pyjamas, yours was one of Jaedens hoodies, of course.

"What did you buy? Because if you didn't get Birds Of Prey I'll be deeply upset," He said.

"You are such a fucking traitor," You said. You both sat with your feet at the headboard. "I cannot believe you. I hate you," Jaeden laughed as you tried to move away from him, but he put his arm around you and held you in place.

"You're cute when you're mad, Y/N," He told you. You faced him with an attempt at an angry face.

"Am not,"

"Are too,"

"Am too!" You argued. Jaeden smiled and flipped you around so he sat on top of you but didn't put his full weight on you.

"Do you wanna smile or am I going to have to tickle it outta you?" He asked you, getting in your face. You flashed him a fake smile, making him roll his eyes. "Fine, I did warn you," He said. He started tickling your sides, making you squirm under him and laugh uncontrollably.

"Jae! St-stop it!" You laughed.

"Do you hate me?" He asked you. You shook your head.

"I love you!" You blurted out. He stopped and looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

"You-you do?" He asked. You were scared you had done something wrong, but you nodded because it was true. "I love you, so, so much, Y/N Evans," You smiled and sighed in relief.  "So...Did you get-"

"Don't ruin the moment,"

--

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It Chapter Two

Okay y’all I said I wanted to write a post of thoughts I’ve had on the movies (most the second, but here and there from the first), adaptation choices, etc., so here it is after five ten viewings of Chapter Two and a ton of viewings of the first movie as well. I stand by my initial sum up: I love it as a follow up if you’re watching it for the coming of age story of the group of friends that fight an evil being, but it’s mehhhh as a horror movie about a clown that kills children....which means I love it because I don’t give a fuck about the clown. 

I love the Losers love for each other. I hate any moment that separates them or causes conflict between them, because in the book they are magically, instantly united as they join together that summer, and nothing stops that, and that’s one of my favorite things about the book. So the movie taking that complete level of solidarity hurts. But even so, when it comes down to it, again and again we see how much they all love and care for each other and I am all about that. Now below the cut, have 4300 words of rambling thoughts in bullet point form!

Mike: I love and hate what he was given for this movie. Not getting incapacitated by Bowers and hospitalized (as in the book), and instead actually getting to be in the final confrontation? THANK YOU, YES. Lying to the Losers? No, not a fan. At first I was mostly focused on being grateful he was in the final battle because I think it’s awesome they’ve all together, but the more I’ve thought about it, the more upset I am that he still got kinda screwed. He had more to do than he did in the first movie, but then like...he doesn’t get a scene of going and finding the rock and having his own flashbacks, and then he doesn’t get a separate confrontation with Pennywise either once they’re in the sewers (like Ben and Bev, Eddie and Richie, and Bill do). Being the crazy librarian’s assistant is bunk. And the whole Native American ritual shit...

The Ritual of Chüd: I fully understand not doing the ritual exactly like in the book, because hello, a metaphysical battle of wills, biting each other’s tongues in your psyche and getting thrown around is just a wee bit complicated to film. But making it so that Mike got the ritual from Native Americans (the ~mystical face distortion especially bugged me), and then it also didn’t even work...ugh. And again, the lying, ughhhh. A battle of wills was still basically how they defeated It, at least? Also, like, maybe it’s iffy to use some ancient tribal ritual that Bill got from a book, too, but I think it works (in a story sense, I mean) because they’re kids when they first try it. They go “hey, there’s this thing, we believe it’s the answer” and so it works. And it works so much better as a thing the kids found in a book and believed in, than as a ritual adult Mike got from Native Americans that never even worked. However, James McAvoy’s delivery of the line, “You stole it...from Native Americans?” is incredible and hilarious. And on the note of the smoke scene...

The Clubhouse: I don’t fucking care how relatively little sense it made to include the clubhouse, and how Ben’s “the hole was already dug out and oh hey btw I like architecture we forgot to mention that in the last movie” was paper thin, because I AM SO HAPPY THAT THEY MADE THE CLUBHOUSE. I’m glad they didn’t retroactively have them do the smoke scene, because it REALLY wouldn’t have made sense with the first film to them suddenly have done that in the midst of everything and not used it, but I’m sad it wasn’t in the first film to start with. I understand that the budget, like, doubled for chapter two. Happy they included the clubhouse at all, but super eh on including the smoke scene in the way they did. Again, the kids going “hey let’s try this thing” and it working through belief makes so much more sense to me. BUT CLUBHOUSE! :D

Stan: fuuuuuuuuck. They gave Stan so much more in chapter two than in one, somehow? I hate that in the book, the only thing we get of adult Stan is from his wife’s perspective, and then he’s dead. By giving Stan the letter at the end, as well as his added kid scenes, I feel like Stan was given some justice. And on the small book nod end, I loved him doing the bird puzzle, because book Stan is a big ol’ bird nerd. Also when Stan asks what he looks like when he’s older in that first scene and Bev has that look and says like now but taller? OW. ALSO the head-spider thing, “so you don’t get spiders in your hair,” nice horrible touch there. And this isn’t a Stan characterization thing, but one of the legs going through Stan’s eye and Richie being the one to say “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” also feels appropriate because eye horror is a book Richie thing. And on the note of the letter (which I love), I want to know what Stan wrote to Patty. Because like, wow, after her husband seemingly out of nowhere kills himself, she still sends these letters to his old friends. Patty Uris, you’re a good woman.  

Ben: I am generally in favor of Ben/Bev, and thought they had some nice moments in the new movie, but I haaaaate that Ben kept the yearbook page. It made no sense, and it was kind of weird for him to like...obsess over that for the next 27 years of his life when he hadn’t seen her? I think it would have been sweeter, honestly, if upon returning to Derry he was just HIT with how much he loved her, through that funky magic that bonded the Losers and broke them apart. Back in Derry, the feelings return freshly, even if they’re 27 years old (like happened for Richie, according to Bill Hader and my heart). If that had happened, and then they just...ended up sticking together afterwards, I’d prefer it. Lose the kiss, lose the yearbook thing, but keep the end scene with them on the boat, that’s fine. Also why the fuck was Ben in summer school, that flashback didn’t make sense, should’ve been in the library, please. If only we could have had a middle ground (aka the book) between the 1990 series where Ben was kind of presented as a manwhore and the movie where he’s still in love with the same girl from when he was 13 and that’s why he was alone. In the book he just...didn’t have much of an interest in the romance I think? Idk. Ben keeping the yearbook page is dumb and it was overdone but otherwise Ben and Bev are cute. But as for the first movie and flashback moments, I love little baby Ben Hanscom with all my heart, what a sweetheart. Sorry they made you creepily obsess on the same girl for the rest of your life, Ben. 

MEMORIES: THEY WERE ALLOWED TO KEEP THEIR MEMORIES! I AM SO GRATEFUL! Some people are like “but now Richie has to remember this” and I’m like, the book fucks me up when I read it knowing that none of them will remember each other, and that none of them will remember Eddie and his sacrifice, how bravely he fought, fuuuuuck. So I’d rather sad remembering and honoring than completely forgetting.  This is the happier ending, it really is. 

Bill: He wasn’t really sick??? ow??? Like it makes his determination to search for Georgie make more sense, but oof. I have mixed feelings on this because in the book Bill is genuinely too sick to go with Georgie, but like...the “just because you did x doesn’t mean this horrible thing is your fault” is a really poignant emotional point to make. On the acting side, both Jaeden Martell and James McAvoy did really well with the stuttering, not making it over the top or just...forgetting about it. It felt realistic to those I’ve known with stutters. I think I’m gonna make a separate bullet point for how the marriages were handled, but, it makes me sad that Bill and Audra weren’t shown to be loving like in the book. Bill actually had a good relationship with his wife and that’s a bummer to take away. The choice to have Bill’s fervor in going after It right then be about seeing another kid get taken instead of because he finds Audra’s purse, though, seemed like a solid choice, it worked really well. It keeps the story tighter in a sense, because Bill’s guilt about Georgie is shown to be one of his driving forces across both movies. And...okay that ties right into the marriages thing so...

Marriages: I am grateful that they didn’t have Audra and Tom go to Derry like in the book. There is SO MUCH book content that didn’t make it in, stuff that is really plot relevant, but like...fitting all of that in would have been crammed and we’d lack the emotional depth. Chapter Two is about the Losers, and the sacrifices that were made were there so that we could really focus on the Losers and their relationships with teach other and their experiences. It makes me sad that Bill doesn’t get his positive relationship with Audra, that they’re not shown to actually love each other, that he’s no longer wearing a wedding ring in that last scene with the phone call with Mike, but god. If they had had Audra and Tom come to Derry, it would have muddled the story more than it’d flesh it out. So not worth it to waste a single moment on that, as much as I wish Tom still got killed by It because it’s what he deserves. I almost wish that Bev’s relationship with Tom had been changed, but idk what I’d change it to. Including the abuse was rough, but at least it wasn’t as severe as in the book? It couldn’t be, anyway, because again, he doesn’t follow her to Derry, so he can’t be quite as evil as he is in the book or it’d be incomplete to expect her to just...leave him. Aaaaand Eddie and Myra. I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY CAST THE SAME ACTRESS AS MYRA AND HIS MOM. It’s completely book accurate, there’s that bit of narrative where he acknowledges that looking at a younger pic of his mom next to one of Myra and they could be twins, but damn, that casting choice. I feel bad for Myra, in all incarnations. A character meant only to be the embodiment of an oedipal complex...or, the projection of one? However you’d say that.

Bill & Bev: a whole bullet point just to say, thank god they didn’t sleep together, that one little memory based kiss and move on? THANK YOU. And that kiss worked, not like the wtf so awkward kiss between Bill and Bev at the restaurant in the mini-series. Also not driving home the “Audra looks like Bev.......” thing. I’m cool with that. Though I still think it’d have been hilarious if they’d cast Bryce Dallas Howard as Audra.

Beverly: I was talking to a friend about the first movie a few months ago and she said she hated how Bev was made into a damsel in the first movie, needing to be rescued...and I can get that, but compared to the book and the 1990 series, Bev gets SO MUCH MORE and I love her so much. I love that she’s pushing them to keep fighting against It in the first one, and that in the second she’s supporting the others still and encouraging, and in the final battle moments, she’s never a damsel. It’s just when she was in the deadlights. The scene with Mrs. Kersh was fucking insane though. Like, hugely increased budget from the first movie, and....they choose to spend it on a naked granny monster????? TWICE???? I feel like that scene could have been legitimately creepy but then NAKED. GRANNY. MONSTER. I have nothing deep to say on that scene but I’m so baffled. 

CGI and the Monsters: On the note of the atrocity of the naked granny monster...it must say a lot about what Andy Muschietti is afraid of that he includes these weird, gross CGI monsters. Also I feel like he’s afraid of old age, between the Mrs. Kersh monster and the focus on Mr. Keene’s old-ness. But like...the leper and the naked granny monster are both just really weird and gross, but not like scary? I mean, the leper being a physical representation of infection is specific to Eddie, and it sticking it’s tongue down Mrs. Kaspbrak’s throat is truly utterly disgusting, but...again, the horror of it is grossness, not scariness? And god the fucking naked granny monster just kills me because that scene would legit be scary if not for that. Instead, multiple times I’ve heard people in the theater whisper “what the fuck” during that scene. 

The Losers Fighting: Possibly my biggest complaint about the two movies is the choice to have the Losers have big fights.  For Dramatic Movie Purposes I get it, I guess, but in the book as each Loser joins, that’s it, there’s no question, fate is clicking into place, they are meant to be together. So the fight after the House on Neibolt in the first movie has always bugged me. Mike lying to them bugs me. Them being like, “fuck this I’m out” bugs me. However, the ONE concession I’ll make on this point is that at least the fight in the first movie was used in the second as an excuse to show new flashbacks. But the lack of unity is always gonna make me sad about these adaptations. 

Pennywise: I am NOT saying I want more Pennywise in the movie, but I think that there is a slight plot hole in the way that his motivations and his effect aren’t directly addressed in the films. Like, including the Adrian Mellon murder without including the whole thing where it’s relevant to It because It’s evil seeps into Derry and is an integral part of Derry makes the scene make less sense. Though, again, I’m cool with them not including Derry just completely falling apart when It dies because of that connection, bc that’d be too much time not about the Losers. But, yeah, motivation wise, it doesn’t feel clear why It wants the Losers to come home. Knowing in the book that It experienced fear and then true anger for the first time, that It wants revenge, makes the ultimately Dumbass Move of luring them back at least make some sense. 

Richie: I’m gonna try to focus on Richie things that don’t necessarily relate to Reddie first. I was super unsure about Bill Hader when I heard about his casting at first, because I’d never seen him do the drama I knew the role would need, but damn. He was a perfect Richie, from the comedy to the holy shit drama pain. And it’s a bummer that the whole cgi thing was needed (though, like, it was, because Finn Wolfhard does not look the same anymore) because I’d like to see the more nuanced version of his performance of the arcade scene and stuff. I’m so grateful for the depth given to Richie with the closeted storyline, as much as it hurts. This movie let (some) characters have some actual depth and it’s wonderful. Let’s see... I kind of hate that there was still the fatphobic focuses in the story as a whole, but like...those lines only coming from the trashmouth was at least appropriate. And his delivery throughout his whole bit with Bill outside the Neibolt house in Chapter Two about Richie said it best last time, is delivered so perfectly and I love it, particularly, “You’re lucky we’re not measuring dicks?” Excellent job, Bill Hader. And even though, as I said above, I am no fan of the Losers fighting and Richie trying to run off, the part where Ben says “at least I got Richie to stay” and then Richie bursts out of the back of the hotel to sneak off is way too funny to me. Him not writing his own material is kind of hilarious. And it goes in with a theme in the movie where the Loser’s adult success is a little bit tainted, which isn’t necessarily the case in the book - other things are off, no children, marrying their parents, etc., but their success doesn’t really have anything off about it. Book Richie finally does perfect his voices and that’s how he makes his money. But I’ll accept him not actually being great at comedy (not that the bit we saw at the start of the movie was great comedy) for the set up of the joke of Eddie saying “I FUCKING KNEW IT!” also oops mentioned Eddie. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  So why not go there now! 

Eddie and Richie: I didn’t think they’d actually fucking do it. I saw a still of young Richie next to the R+ on the kissing bridge, and Reddies freaking out about WHAT IF, and I was like “that’d be cool but lol no they won’t actually do it.” But then they ACTUALLY DID IT. I’m grateful I saw the movie at the first possible showing because I DIDN’T see the still with young Richie where you can see the full R+E until after, so it was a surprise. This is again where I applaud Bill Hader’s performance, and the directing and script writing and all, because all of those little moments where Richie is just attuned to Eddie are so great. He’s always been the one Richie focused on most for jokes (defense mechansim!), but then calling out for Eddie every time there’s potential danger and they’re separated - when the bat wing fortune cookie is attacking Eddie, in Neibolt when the spider-head monster is temporarily gone, when the balloon starts inflating after the ritual and they’re moving apart. And then of course we have the whole end, his desperation over wanting to save Eddie, his inability to accept that it’s over. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck! And god, like, he seems to just forget to even care about the whole Pennywise thing once Eddie’s hurt, he’s like “we gotta get him out of here” ignoring the “we still have to deal with this fucking clown” part of it entirely. On the lighter note though...the bickering! I LOVE THE BICKERING SO MUCH. In both movies, even during serious conversations, there’s so often Eddie and Richie bickering in the background (as well as main scene bickering, of course, like the hammock, or Richie teasing Eddie about getting married, his mom, his job, etc). In Chapter Two you can hear them bickering about Eddie saying he’s got these various ailments and Richie saying it’s in his head and he just reads shit on the internet while Bill and Bev talk about life, and down in the sewers Eddie has to pick on Richie bringing an actual token and they bicker about how that’s not gonna burn well neither will the inhaler. I LOVE IT. Also, in a story so focused on mirroring the past, Eddie should have kissed Richie out of the deadlights like Ben kissed Bev, that is all. I love every single thing about the scene with the three doors, but I especially love how those dumbasses, once Pennywise is no longer reaching for them, suddenly stop finding the dog behind a door deep in the sewers/cave/whatever suspicious??? They’re like, oh look this is fine, what a cute puppy that randomly made it down here??? What even, and I love it. The hammock scene is ridiculously adorable and Richie’s little sigh when Eddie’s sticking his foot in his face, so great. I have a lot to say about Eddie’s paralysis in the face of Richie being attacked, but honestly I feel that’s more Eddie than it is Reddie related so I’ll get there later, but Richie being the one to encourage him in this totally sincere way and then make the fat joke about Myra...in character af and a really charming scene despite the fact that, again, I am not a fan of fat jokes? That is just the language these two idiots speak. A moment of sincerity cannot possibly be left alone.  And on that note...

Eddie’s Death: okay that “paragraph” was very long so I’m making a separate bullet point for this, at least as it relates to Reddie. I could just quote line by line and be like “oh, shit, my heart” but that isn’t really relevant. Overall, that’s my sentiment as Richie is trying to save Eddie and so focused on him. But this is more about the “I fucked your mother” bit. I saw a lot of people upset about that, and others seemed to understand that it’s not a throwaway joke (like the post I JUST reblogged, but I was thinking about this before). Dumb jokes and bickering is their love language, duh. And I think in those moments, it legit made the most sense for Eddie to say “I fucked your mother” to Richie, the king of inappropriate your mom jokes (at least in reference to Eddie - I fucked your mom, Eddie’s mom’s vagina on Halloween, smells worse than Eddie’s mom’s slippers, etc.). I’m working on a theory that not only is that a communication of love/the importance of their relationship (like, he makes the effort to make that joke when he’s fucking DYING, something specifically for Richie), but about comfort. Dunno if it’s about comforting himself in the face of knowing he’s dying, or comforting Richie, or both, but...honestly, falling into a familiar pattern after all of this sincerity and fear just came pouring out of Richie makes perfect fucking sense to me. And, there’s also nearly a solid 2.5 minutes between cutting away from that scene and Richie running to join them in the final takedown (and tearing It’s fucking arm off, which is amazing, and I love Bev’s little shocked face right after that happens). There’s room for conversation, for sincere comments, if you want to imagine them there. But I’m not disappointed they didn’t do any real “I love you” moments or something, because I think we got a very in character and appropriate response. And I’ll say again, Richie’s anguish and denial, holy shit, my heart hurts. 

Eddie: Eddie Kaspbrak, my love. I was saving Eddie for last because I have so much to say but idek how to say it. I don’t know why, but I wasn’t expecting adult Eddie to have the same hyper, angry energy of kid Eddie, let alone an amped up version, but I LOVE THIS SMALL, ANGRY MAN. James Ransone was brilliant casting. When he was first cast (not that I knew who he was), I was like, eh he looks alright, we’ll see. But watching him in action and watching Jack Dylan Grazer in action, damn, they are well matched. And their eyes are very alike. But more than the physicality, just in general, damn he was a great Eddie. I’m not super solid on how well he matches up to book Eddie’s characterization overall, but if I see a major overlap in book and movie Eddie in any book scene, it’s when Eddie sprays his inhaler at the giant eyeball and just flips out: ““Fight It!” Eddie raved at the others. “It’s just a fucking Eye! Fight It! You hear me? Fight It, Bill! Kick the shit out of the sucker! Jesus Christ you fucking pussies I’m doing the Mashed Potatoes all over It AND I GOT A BROKEN ARM!”" But anyway. Movie Eddie. I love his angry bravado, because you KNOW so much is bravado. That one post that says Eddie has small dog syndrome is fucking legit. Eddie is hilarious throughout (again, kudos to James fucking Ransone), but then the emotional scenes? Oh my GOD the emotional scenes!!!  Eddie has moments of fear but still mostly maintains that bravado until the spider head thing attacks (even before it attacks Richie specifically, you can tell he’s pinned to the wall in fear). And after Richie is saved, and Bill comes to yell at him, BOOM the emotion kills me. That shield is gone and he’s just back to a scared little kid, and there’s such an emotional realness to the rest of his scenes (except when he’s bickering with Richie, of course). He’s scared and he’s hurt. And the way the Losers support him through that - Richie talking Eddie up to encourage him, reminding him all of the ways he’s been badass so far, and the entire interaction with Bev “This kills monsters” “Does it?” “If you believe it does.” His face, the gentleness of that scene, it kills me and I love them so much. It’s just a beautiful moment. Also beautiful on the other end of the spectrum is Eddie psyching himself up to save Richie this time, dammit, “IF YOU BELIEVE IT DOES! BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER!” And then his face! Actually, his face when he first sees Richie in the deadlights is worth mentioning, and his “holy shit!” and then happiness after (you know, until THAT happens). IT GIVES ME FEELINGS. Ummmm let’s see, oh, I fucking LOVE that they referenced the gazebo line holy shit! Imagine being Jack Dylan Grazer and having your improv from when you were 11/12 become not only one of the most iconic lines in the first movie, but get referenced in the second!!! For mirroring kind of purposes, when they go down the well, Eddie is the one to mention grey water first in both movies, love that. Also love that in the first movie he has the line about how 89% or whatever of home accidents happen in the bathroom, then he gets stabbed in the bathroom. Which, like, that scene? Again, he is so fucking FUNNY. The initial shock of “HOLY SHIT HE JUST GOT STABBED IN THE FACE” fights with “HIS RESPONSE IS SO DAMN FUNNY.” His faces all the way through to “you should cut that fucking mullet, it’s been like thirty years man” is GOOD. SHIT. I love Eddie Kaspbrak so much. Also the delivery of “what the fuck!” after the leper run in as an adult. Oh, and speaking of the leper, Eddie Kaspbrak saves the fucking day by helping them understand how to actually fucking kill It, the way he almost actually killed it earlier. He’s fucking dying and he has this realization, this way to help them, and I’m just gonna be a broken record of I LOVE EDDIE. And I love James Ransone’s portrayal (and Jack Dylan Grazer, for that matter, since I am talking about both movies kinda though mostly Chapter Two). 

...and that’s more than sufficient for now. 

a brief inquiry into online relationships

prologue - chapter i - chapter ii - chapter iii - chapter iv - chapter v - chapter vi - chapter vii - chapter viii - chapter ix - chapter x - chapter xi - chapter xii -chapter xiii - chapter xiv - chapter xv

chapter one

"friends don't lie and it all tastes the same in the dark"

Featuring: Chris Evans, Jaeden Martell, Katherine Langford, Jamie-Lee Curtis, Dodger Evans

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: None, but if there is, please let me know and I'll add them in!

A/N: Thank you all for reading this series so far! It's getting going now, and I hope you all enjoy this series because I'm really into it and I have it all planned out for each chapter. If anyone wants to be tagged, please let me know by asking through my inbox or my messages! Feedback and comments are always appreciated!

--

You sat in your dad's trailer for the rest of that day, scrolling through your phone and looking at random TikToks you would show him later, only to have to explain to him what it meant.  He wasn't too up to date on technology, he didn't even have Instagram you were convinced that he barely knew how to use Twitter. But who were you to judge your dad's lack of technological knowledge? 

-

"Y/N, come on, get up," You groaned as your dad shook you awake, almost rolling you off of the bed. "Y/N." He dragged out. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, shooting a pissed off glare at your dad. Chris chuckled and shook his head.

"What the fuck is going on? It's like," You paused to check your phone for the time, only for your face to fall as you saw that you had been asleep for the past 6 hours, meaning it was 9pm. "Alright, nevermind." You mumbled.

"C'mon, I told Jaeden you would be meeting him at 9:30 so you could hang out with him," Chris said, ushering you to sit up and get out of the bed. "Go and brush your hair, you look like you were dragged through a bush, honey."

"Wow, thank you for the compliment, do you ever wonder why you don't have a girlfriend?" You asked him, standing up and walking into the bathroom and brushing your hair. Chris laughed and shook his head, fixing the bed up from where you had been sleeping.

"Because I'm so goddamn good looking that no one wants to be with me because they'd be upstaged?" Chris said, leaning against the door frame where you were standing. You laughed as you put the hairbrush down.

"If that helps you sleep at night, you can believe that all you want. But just remember that there's one person you can never upstage in the beauty department," You pointed at your dad as you grabbed your phone from the nightstand, taking it off of charge and sliding it into your pocket. Chris stood waiting, his arms crossed over his broad chest. "It's me. Obviously." You pointed out. Chris nodded and chuckled.

"Ah, you got me there," He admitted. You smiled over at him and then stuck your tongue out at him. "Alright, go, I got stuff to do, have fun, but not too much fun." Chris said, pushing you gently and pointing at you glaringly before he shut the door. The trailer door shut behind you and as you looked out over the lot, you let out a heavy sigh, knowing that any one of the trailers in front of you could be Jaeden's. But, luckily for you, you saw that he was walking towards you. His hands were shoved into his pockets, obviously he wasn't used to the Boston weather patterns and that it was very rarely warm any month after August.

"Cold?" You asked him, getting his attention. Jaeden looked up at you and laughed, nodding.

"I didn't think it would be so freezing, I'm not particularly used to the cold," He said, watching you as you walked down the steps to meet him, a small smile on your face. 

"You get used to it after a while, I mean, it's only October and to be honest it only gets worse from here," You told him as you walked to his trailer, your jacket held close to your body as the wind cut through you like a knife.  "What has my dad told you about me?" You asked him as you entered his trailer. Knowing your dad, he had probably already embarrassed you.

"Nothing bad, all good things, I promise," He said. You smiled over at him as he turned his TV on. "From what your dad said, he told me that your favourite movie's The Lost Boys, and I've never seen it before so I thought we could watch it together." Jaeden said. You giggled and nodded. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad, I mean, he knew your favourite movie. There was something about Jaeden that just made you feel so comfortable, you felt like you could be yourself around him.

"Yeah, but I'm kind off offended that you've never seen it before," You said. Jaeden laughed and shook his head, looking back over at you as you walked over to the couch, sitting down. "Like come on! It's one of the best 80's movies ever, it's up there with The Blues Brother." You pointed out. Jaeden sat down beside you and pressed play on the movie.

"I haven't seen that either," He said, looking up at you wearily. You let out a huff and shook your head. For someone who was appearing in a lot of movies, his taste appeared to be God awful. "I'm gonna have to spend all of my time showing you some great movies, aren't I?" You asked him. Jaeden nodded and smiled, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. 

"Would you hate me if I said I haven't seen any of the Star Wars movies?" Your jaw almost fell open as you turned to him, a look of pure shock written on your features. "I just haven't gotten around to it yet." He admitted.

"Haven't gotten around to it yet? They've only been out for like 41 years!" You exclaimed. "I can't believe this, I considered you a man of taste." You feigned offence. 

"Well, I apologize, Y/N," He said, making you laugh. "I promise, once you show me all of the other hundreds of movies you're probably gonna wanna want to show me, we can watch Star Wars."

--

The night went well, you finished The Lost Boys and arranged another movie night with Jaeden and said you would watch 'The Blues Brothers' the next time. You didn't go back to the house since it was nearly 2 am by the time you had finished, even though the movie finished at midnight. You had spent the other few hours of the night showing Jaeden pictures and videos of Dodger, and you promised you would bring him to set one day. If you were to be honest, you were the happiest you had been in a while last night. 

"How was it?" Your dad asked, giving you a cup of coffee as you woke up from sleeping on the couch. It was 7 am and you only had about 5 hours of sleep, and you still had to drive home to take Dodger out and give him his breakfast. Chris sat down beside you and put his arm around you, smiling as you groaned and put your head on your dad's shoulder.

"It was good, we watched The Lost Boys, he said you told him that it was my favourite movie," You looked up at him, your eyebrows furrowed and your face scrunched up. Chris nodded. "How did you know?" You asked him.

"I made the mistake of letting Scott babysit you when you were four, he let you watch it and you were oddly fascinated with it," He told you. "Realistically, you should have been shit scared of it." Chris laughed and remembered the confusion he felt when he saw that you were sitting there watching the movie quite the thing. Scott looked more scared of the movie than you did, and he was way older than you.

"Can I bring Dodger here today? I promised Jaeden that I would let him meet him," You said, putting your shoes on and finishing your coffee. Chris nodded and then grinned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"So you're making promises to him?" He said suggestively. You rolled your eyes and let out an annoyed sigh.

"I told him he could meet the dog, not marry him, dad. And anyway, we're just friends," You assured your dad. Chris nodded skeptically and hummed, chuckling. Across the lot at the mansion, everyone was beginning to gather. Jaeden was standing with Katherine, feeling oddly nervous for some reason. 

"So what are you trying to say, that you like Chris' daughter?" Katherine asked him. Jaeden sighed and nodded, he felt like an idiot. He had only hung out with you once and he felt like he was head over heels for you, what a fool. Last night was the most fun he had had in a while, and all you did was watch a movie and hang around. 

"Is it that obvious? I saw them bump into each other yesterday and they both had the puppy dog eyes about them," Jamie-Lee piped in. 

"If Chris ever finds out he'll kill me on the spot, I guarantee you that," Jaeden said. Speaking of the devil, Chris came towards them, completing the set. Jaeden's face fell, noticing that you weren't following behind your dad. 

"Where's Y/N?" Jaeden asked Chris. 

"She's gone back to the house to get ready and bring Dodger to set," Chris told him. Jaeden nodded. Back at your house, you had cleaned up and showered, changing from your pyjamas to actual clothes. You then took Dodger a walk before getting him into your car, taking his leash and driving back to the set. You took him to your dad's trailer and waited for them to call break. "Y/N?" Dodger barked and ran to the front door to greet his dad.

"Hey, how's your day going?" You asked your dad. Chris went to the bedroom and sat Dodger on the bed.

"It's going good, but better now my two favourite children are here," Chris said. "Wait, I just noticed that my colour scheme matches Dodger's." He pointed out. You pulled out your phone and videoed them sitting beside each other, their colours matching very ominously well. 

"Wow, you are that fashionable you stole the dog's combo? That's amazing, dad," You said, a sarcastic smile on your face. 

 --

At lunch, Jaeden had gotten off earlier and asked if you could bring Dodger, and he needed his afternoon run anyway. Waiting in the yard of the mansion, Dodger sat beside you looking up at the ball in the thing you used to throw it for him. 

"Hey," He said, appearing behind you. Jaeden was still dressed in the school uniform, and you couldn't help but laugh. "What?" 

"Nothing, I just didn't take you as the uniform kinda guy," You said. Jaeden snickered and smirked at you with a small shake of his head.

"I'm not, I just can't get changed yet. If I could I would, school uniform's are really uncomfortable," Jaeden said. 

"Tell me about it. I mean, it could be worse, I've been wearing then everyday for the past 10 years," You told him. "Look, Dodger, who's this?" Dodger spun around to say hello to Jaeden, who crouched down and pet your dog, trying his hardest to not get any dog hair on him.

"Hi buddy," Jaeden greeted your dog. "Can I throw his ball for him?" He asked you. You nodded and handed him the ball launcher, watching as he threw the ball for Dodger, who chased after the ball.

"Thanks for last night, by the way," You said. Jaeden smiled at you. "I brought Blues Brother's on DVD for tonight if you're still up for it." You told him.

"Yeah, of course. Who else am I gonna watch all of the supposed 'superior' movies with?" He asked you. You giggled and if your face in your hands. The sound of your laughter made Jaeden's heart soar, he would do anything to hear you laugh like that all the time, it was like music to his ears any time he heard it.  Dodger came back with the ball, dropping it at your feet and sitting back, looking up at you expectantly. "Guess he's looking for this." Jaeden handed you the launcher and you got the ball in the top part.

"Alright Dodge, you ready bubs?" You moved back a few steps before launching the ball halfway across the extensive yard. Jaeden watched you, impression written on his features. "Keep looking at me like that and I'll throw you across the yard like that." You threatened him playfully. 

"You would never," Jaeden challenged you. "You'd have to catch me first." He said.

"You think you can outrun me?" You asked him. He grinned at you before running off from you, running down to where Dodger was. "Jaeden!" You yelled, starting to chase after him. He apparently didn't care that he was supposed to be entirely clean, but there wasn't any rain, so he probably wouldn't get that dirty. You laughed as you chased after him, catching up to him slowly but surely. You didn't see him, but your dad was watching you, a smile on his face at the sight of you seemingly happy. 

--

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