#i know it's been like almost 2 months since finale but i can't stop thinking about it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kiarastromboli · 2 months

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Teach me 4 (Chris Sturniolo x y/n)

Part. 1 Part.2 Part.3

Mesterlist.

Warning: Bit of angst, Smut content, don’t like it = don’t read it :)

Summary: Two years have passed since Chris and Y/N's breakup. Many things have changed, but apparently not the feelings Y/N has for Chris. But how will her return to Boston for the summer holidays unfold when she knows she hasn't moved on?

Note : I'm sorry for making you wait so long for this fourth part. I just wanted to make sure I did it right. Despite everything, I'm still afraid this part won't please you as much, and I apologize if the result isn't what you expected. I did my best.

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"Julia, stop, that's enough," I said, bursting into laughter at the excited screams of my best friend on the other end of the line.

"Stop?? It's been almost 2 years since we last saw each other, y/n. How do you expect me to keep calm when I'm going to see you in less than 24 hours?" She said, overexcited, and I could hear her fidgeting in every direction.

Indeed, it had been a while since I left Boston. After my parents sent me to the other side of the country, I started researching universities nearby. At the end of high school, I wasted no time in enrolling and starting my studies.

I had successfully completed my first year at the university, and now it was summer vacation. My parents agreed to let me return to Boston to enjoy my break with them and my friends.

As for my relationship with my parents... Let's say things are different, but the distance imposed on us did me good. I had finally started to live for myself, and many things had changed in my life. As for them, they were content because my results were excellent, and they could see that I had gained autonomy and maturity since my departure.

Anyway, two years had passed, and my life had changed a lot, but I was so happy to finally be back in Boston.

"Yeah, I know," I said, chuckling. "I can't wait to see you and the others," I said, turning around to lie on my back in my bed.

"We'll have to organize a party for your return!" Julia screamed in my ears.

"No, Ju, please, that's enough," I said, moving the phone away from my ear a bit, which she had just shattered again.

"Huh huh, anyway, you don't have a choice. Mom's not here for 3 days, and it's perfect for the party we're going to have when you get back!" She said, emphasizing the word 'party.'

"Juliaaaa!" I said, sighing. "Who are you even planning to invite to this party? It's not like I had a hundred friends back in high school," I said, laughing.

"We don't care, y/n. Who would refuse a party in a big house during summer vacation? I'll invite our group of friends and then check with the old art group from high school." She started to say, "Oh, and why not the football team! And the lacrosse team and the school mascot! Oh my god, I wonder if he still has his costume; that would be hilarious!" She said, laughing.

The Lacrosse team, Chris.

From that moment on, my mind went on pause, and I didn't really pay attention to what Julia was saying.

It had been so long since I had heard about him. After my departure, I hadn't received any news from him. And it was my fault. Every time Julia tried to talk to me about him, I immediately shut down. I thought with time the pain would fade, but it was false. Four months after my departure, my heart still bled as much as the last time he passed by my window. I had done everything to stop thinking about him and turn the page, and I had done it so well that I almost forgot that by returning to Boston, I would also be returning to him.

"Y/n, are you listening?" Julia said, raising her voice, bringing me back to reality.

"Huh? What? Sorry, Julia, I'm exhausted. I think I need to rest for tomorrow; the journey will be long. Can I call you back later?" I said, stuttering a bit, still destabilized by my thoughts.

"Yeah, sure, don't worry. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye," she said warmly.

"Love you, bye," I said with a small smile before hanging up and placing my phone next to me.

Chris.

Is it normal that my heart still bleeds so much for a high school crush? Am I just too sensitive? Is it because he's the only man I've ever let into my heart until now?

Questions kept piling up in my mind, and no matter how much I shook my head, they wouldn't leave me.

Anxiety eventually took over the excitement. What will happen if we see each other again? Will we even meet? Does he still think about me too? Is his heart still bleeding as well? Did he drown in sorrow when our story ended?

More and more questions. I better close my eyes; tomorrow is a big day...

_______

My morning passed extremely quickly. I woke up a bit late, so I was in a hurry. I got ready quickly, gathered my things, and said goodbye to my roommate not to miss my flight.

My parents picked me up at the airport, and I didn't expect warm hugs, but it was still hurtful to barely get a 'how are you?' The whole ride to the house was filled with discussions about my results and how my life was going there.

It had been a while since I saw them, so I just decided to suck it up, smile, and play the perfect little girl I always portrayed in Boston.

"No, I'm just saying that just because your results are satisfactory doesn't mean you don't need extra courses, you know, those things look good on your record," my mother continued to ramble when we finally arrived home.

God, this journey felt longer than my high school years!

"Yeah, I know, Mom. I'll think about it; can we discuss it later? I'm tired," I said before leaving the car.

Once my suitcase was unpacked, I thought I would have a moment of respite to finally collapse into my bed and rest from this exhausting start to the day. But that was without counting on the stormy arrival of my best friend.

"Y/NNNNN!!!" she screamed, rushing towards me to hug me.

With fatigue and confusion, it took me a few seconds to realize it was indeed her standing in front of me, and suddenly, I felt overwhelmed by my emotions. Tears started to well up, blurring my vision.

"Oh my god, Ju'!" I said, stammering and nervously laughing.

"If you start crying, you know I'll cry too, so stop that right now," she warned me, furrowing her brows not to start crying herself.

"Sorry, sorry!" I said, chuckling and wiping my eyes. "I missed you so much!!" I said, shaking my hands before hugging her again.

I spent the rest of my day with her, talking about everything that had changed in my life since my departure, and for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely good.

I felt like I was recharging, regaining all the positive energy I had been missing.

"Anyway, you know me; I wasn't going to let a jerk like him talk to me like that. So, I preferred to end our relationship, and it's for the best!" Julia told me.

She had just told me about her latest relationship with one of the lacrosse team players from our high school, and as usual, I couldn't help but think of him.

"Are you sure everything's okay, y/n? Since I started talking about Tom, I feel like you're not really here anymore?" she asked, concerned.

"No! Well, yes, it's okay; don't worry. It's just that—" I began to say before cutting myself off with a sigh. "It's nothing; it's just my return here made me rethink everything that happened before I left," I confessed.

"You mean what happened with Chris?" she said, giving me a sympathetic look. "Sorry, I know we're not supposed to talk about him. Excuse me, I forgot—" she added before I interrupted her.

"No, Julia, it's fine; it's okay. I'm better; I assure you it doesn't bother me anymore," I lied, smiling and grabbing her hand. "I'm better, I promise it doesn't bother me anymore," I lied.

"You know I love you," she said, smiling and squeezing my hand.

"Yeah, I know, I love you too," I replied, chuckling.

After this little discussion, Julia stayed overnight at my place. I eventually gave in and agreed to have the party at her house.

Deep down, I had a bit of hope to come across Chris. I know I shouldn't, but it's stronger than me...

I mean, I would like to know what he's become. Has he continued with lacrosse? Did he go to university? Or has he found a job he's passionate about? Does he still smoke? Has he rebuilt his life with other girls after me?

In a way, I wanted to know to reassure myself that he was doing better and that what I did didn't hurt him too much.

But on the other hand, selfishly, I hoped he had waited for me, that he hadn't seen other girls, and that he was still hoping, just like me, that one day we would meet again.

And God, I know how contradictory it is of me to hope for that when that night I made it clear to him that there would be no chance of things working out. But no matter how much I fought against what I wanted, I knew that my heart was still in his hands, and his alone.

I hate myself for being so stupid and not being able to move on, even though it was just a relationship between two completely lost teenagers for a few weeks.

But I had never experienced anything so genuine. Every conversation, every look, every caress, and every kiss haunt me...

They're still there in a corner of my mind, even though I try to push them away and tell myself it's for the best. My soul screams at me to find his. Maybe that was my punishment—for making him believe that our story could last, for making him believe that the girl he truly loved existed when it wasn't the case.

_________

"Are you sure it doesn't bother you that the lacrosse team is here tonight?" Julia asked me for the hundredth time today.

After our little pajama party at my place last night, we went to her place in the afternoon to prepare for the party tonight.

We were finishing getting ready, and people were supposed to arrive any minute.

"Ju', as I've repeated to you throughout the day, it's fine, it doesn't bother me. And besides, if you don't invite the lacrosse team, what excuse will you find to invite your little Tom and make him regret it?" I said mockingly to tease her.

"Ahaha, very funny. You know very well that I would have found a way, one way or another, to make him regret it!" she added, giving me a playful punch on the shoulder, making me chuckle.

"No, more seriously, y/n, if you're not ready to see Chris tonight, I don't mind kicking the lacrosse team out of the party," she added, becoming serious again.

I sighed before responding, "You know, anyway, I can't ignore him for the rest of my life."

"Julia, I know you're worried about me, but it's behind me, I promise it'll be fine," I reassured her with a reassuring smile.

She began to open her mouth to reply, but she was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell at the entrance.

"Well, it looks like the party is about to start!" she said all hysterical, and I followed her downstairs to welcome the first people.

In the span of thirty minutes, the house filled with teenagers ready to have a blast.

There were mostly people from our old high school; we barely knew half of them, but as Julia had told me, no one refuses a party in a big house like hers during the summer vacation.

It quickly turned into chaos; people were absolutely everywhere, and bottles of alcohol were aplenty, but still no sign of Chris on the horizon.

The party was in full swing; it was almost midnight, and in my despair of not seeing Chris show up, I ended up giving in and joining the game like everyone else, downing drinks one after another, which was not really in my usual habits.

Maybe it was better this way; the more alcoholic beverages passed through my throat, the less Chris haunted my mind. After all, maybe that was my solution.

"Oh, shit, sorry!" I said, bumping into a guy with my head down, making him drop his phone.

I bent down to pick it up before him, and when I raised my head, I came face to face with a face I knew all too well.

"Y/n?" the tall brunet said, looking surprised.

It took me a few seconds to realize it was indeed Matt in front of me.

Chris's brother...

"Oh my god, Matt," I said, surprised. "You're the last person I expected to see tonight!" I said, chuckling.

"And I thought you were on the other side of the country!" he said, also chuckling before opening his arms to hug me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked once our embrace was over.

If I had been a little more sober, this situation would probably have worried me, but at the moment, I was just happy to see him. Matt and I had spent very little time together, but just enough for meeting him at this party to make me super happy.

"I came back for the holidays," I replied, smiling.

"Oh, that's great," he said, smiling too. "You could have at least let us know!" he added, laughing.

"Hey, relax, I just arrived yesterday," I said, rolling my eyes.

Our conversation quickly ended, giving way to an awkward silence. So, without really thinking, I asked him the first question that came to my mind, "Did you come alone ?"

"Oh, um..." he began to say before taking a pause, as if he didn't really know if he should continue or not. "No, I came with my brothers," he said, clearing his throat and running his hand over his neck.

Chris is here.

Suddenly, everything clicked in my head; it was obvious how stupid my question was.

My head started spinning; alcohol seemed to take hold of me even more. It was as if realizing he was there for real had suddenly spiked my blood alcohol level.

"Are you okay, y/n?" he said, placing his hand on my shoulder, looking worried as he saw me pale.

"Um, yeah - yeah, don't worry, I'm just - I've had a bit to drink, you know, it's not really my thing!" I said with a nervous laugh, trying to hide my distress at the moment.

"Do you want me to get you a glass of water? Or something else? I'm sorry if it's me who put you in this state by talking about—" he started to say before I cut him off.

"No! - Matt, it's fine, everything's okay, it's not your fault. I'm just, I just need some fresh air, that's all," I added.

"Um, okay, do you want me to come with you?" he asked, and I could feel how uncomfortable he felt for me at that moment, and that was really the last thing I wanted.

"That's really nice, Matt, but it's okay, thank you. I'll be fine," I told him with a smile before walking towards the exit.

As I moved through the crowd, I prayed not to run into Chris. I didn't want to see him. I thought I was ready and that it was what I needed, but the state I am in right now proves otherwise.

Fuck this shit, I'm going to need more alcohol for sure to handle this.

In my rush towards the exit, I grabbed the first bottle of alcohol I saw lying around, whiskey - it couldn't get any harder.

Damn, will I ever manage to move on? Am I destined to feel like this for the rest of my days?

Finally reaching the front door, I felt my eyes fill with tears, making my vision completely blurry.

Once outside on the porch, I placed the bottle on the small coffee table there, sat on the outdoor couch, and allowed a few tears to flow.

I could hear the muffled sound of music inside, and paradoxically, the cicadas and the silence of the night outside.

A few minutes ago, I was fine, happy, enjoying the party with my friends, and it took me going back to thinking about him to ruin everything.

Physically, I wasn't doing that bad; I didn't feel the need to vomit or anything. I just had a bit of a spinning head and trouble standing up.

Mentally, though, it was a different story.

My sobbing was interrupted by a noise coming from a little further in the garden.

I raised my head with a start to scan the surroundings, wiping away my tears. I especially didn't want anyone to see the only girl crying at this party. I was already not considered a cool girl at school, but this would have been the icing on the cake.

There shouldn't be anyone outside; Julia had made it clear that she didn't want anyone in her mom's garden.

I spotted a silhouette in the dark, and eventually, I caught the smell of a joint. So, I sighed before getting up to get closer.

"Get out of here, idiot! Julia doesn't want anyone in her garden. It's not that complicated to follow such a simple rule," I shouted at the stranger, rolling my eyes.

He approached me until he reached the point where the porch light could illuminate him.

I took a step back, completely thrown off when I recognized his face.

"Sorry, I just got here. I didn't know we weren't allowed to hang out in the garden," he replied softly, keeping a reasonable distance from me.

"Chris?" that's all that could come out of my mouth at that moment; I was completely bewildered. What was I supposed to do at that moment?

My tears started to flow again, and I couldn't do anything to stop it.

Chris stood there, not saying anything. He was as lost as I was at that moment, but I could see that seeing me cry was far from a pleasant thing for him.

He seemed hesitant, shook his head, and muttered to himself, rolling his eyes, "Fuck this."

The next moment, he took me into his arms, letting my head rest against his chest. It was as if he understood without me needing to express myself.

I broke down, letting my tears flow; that's what I needed—his arms around me. He held me tight, and I simply didn't want this moment to end. With my right hand, I clung to his t-shirt as if my life depended on it.

"Y/n, shhhh," he whispered, caressing my hair when my breathing became irregular due to my sobs.

I couldn't breathe; I felt suffocated. The more tears that fell, the worse it got, but, on the other hand, it felt good. All these emotions I had buried, all these tears I had prevented from flowing, were finally coming out.

"Y/n, calm down," he said, grabbing my cheeks with his hands and bringing his face to mine to look me in the eyes.

"Hey, look at me, look at me, breathe, everything's fine," he reassured me, stroking my cheek with his thumb.

"I-I'm so—" I tried to speak, but I couldn't stop crying.

"I'm so sorry, Chris," I said with a broken and fragile voice, shaking my head.

"Y/n, it's okay, stop," he said, pinching his lips, and I could see tears welling up in his eyes, despite his efforts to suppress them.

"What I did—" I started, trying to calm down, "what I did to you—I had no right to do that. I'm sorry, Chris," I said, letting my head fall once again against his chest and starting to cry even harder.

"Y/n," he said, seizing my face again to look at me, "Y/n, I’m not mad at you. Look at me, I'm fine, everything's fine; it's behind us."

"It's not behind me, Chris," I told him, shaking my head and stepping back.

"It's not behind me at all. It continues to eat me up inside every day! I tried for two years!" I told him with a forced laugh, wiping my tears. "Two years, Chris, two years trying everything to get you out of my head and to stop hoping that things would go back to normal!" I added.

"Y/n—" he said, passing his hand over his face before I cut him off.

"How can you not resent me after what I did to you!?" I said, completely lost.

"Because that's life, y/n!" he said, raising his voice and advancing towards me.

"Because people come in and out of your life, tearing your heart out against their will!" he added, and I just closed my mouth; I didn't expect him to express himself like this.

"Y/n, I could have chosen to hate you, yes, it's true! I could have chosen to keep acting like an idiot and keep destroying myself slowly, as I did in the first months after you left!" he continued to say, carried away by his emotions.

"But what would it have served? What would it have served to keep making the same mistakes all my life?" he asked, and I simply nodded, dumbfounded.

"Y/n, I tried to hate you to make the pill go down more easily, believe me. But how could I hate a girl like you?" he asked, tears in his eyes.

"How could I hate the only woman who managed to open my heart and show me that there's always hope?" he continued, this time advancing towards me, and my heart started racing in my chest.

"I got my act together because you deserved someone better. You deserved to know that I was doing well, and I knew! Believe me, I knew how much you blamed yourself," he said, wiping my tears.

"That night when you told me straight in the eyes that you no longer loved me and that you no longer believed in us, I knew you were lying to protect me," he said, and I felt tears flowing again.

"You lied to me to protect me without even thinking about yourself. You put me before you, where no one had done it before," he continued, tapping his chest.

"Chris—" I said with a weak voice.

"No, I don't blame you, y/n. I don't blame you because I know you simply didn't have the choice to do that," he said, wiping my tears.

"And these last two years, I lived in doubt because I wasn't sure 100%, but when I saw your gaze on this porch, all my doubts flew away, and now I know," he said, plunging his eyes into mine.

I looked into his eyes; I had managed to regain normal breathing, and everything he had just told me had calmed my heart.

The open wound in my chest, bleeding and letting all my distress pour out, was closing.

I didn't know what to add; I didn't know what to say to him. It felt like a million things were happening in my mind, but what could it possibly mean?

And then my thoughts escaped my mind, fixating on his blue eyes, his pure eyes, his sincere gaze fixed on me.

I had forgotten how beautiful this man was.

I became aware of his warm hands on my cheeks; my heartbeat quickened, and I thought I saw a glint of desire growing in his eyes.

The silence became heavy, yet neither of us wanted to say anything.

Our faces slowly approached, and my eyes juggled between his and his lips.

What was happening? Was it supposed to be good? Or bad?

I wanted to throw myself at him, yes, but was it correct? Was it the alcohol? Did I misinterpret what was happening?

"Chris—" I said in a soft, almost inaudible voice before he closed the gap between our lips.

Shivers ran through my entire body; it was soft and so good.

His soft lips moved perfectly against mine.

One of his hands resting on my cheek slid down to the small of my back.

Meanwhile, my two hands found their place on his chest, and our kiss deepened.

This kiss, originally meant to say ‘welcome home’, quickly became more profound.

Our tongues collided; things escalated. The hand that rested on my waist descended to grip my hip, while one of my hands left his chest to settle on the side of his neck.

I felt something reignite in me, something I hadn't felt in a very long time: desire.

I became aware of what was happening, and I snapped out of this trance by stepping back and opening my eyes.

I caught my breath before telling him, "Chris."

"I'm sorry," he said, catching his breath too.

"We can't do this; we can't revisit this. I'm back in Boston only for the holidays," I said, shaking my head, trying to think of something else.

"Sorry, I don't know what came over me; I shouldn't have." he said, running his hand through his hair.

"It's okay," I said, stepping towards him and placing my hand on his shoulder.

"I just found you again when I didn't think I'd have this chance; I want to do things right," I confessed.

"So, does that mean we're friends now?" he asked, and his question tore at my heart because, of course, I didn't want to be just friends. But things were too complicated for us to allow anything more.

"Yes, it means we're friends," I said, smiling slightly, and he returned a smile.

"I missed you," he said, hugging me.

"Missed you too," I replied, "feels like it's been ages since we last caught up," I added, chuckling.

"You must have hundreds of things to tell me then," he said, separating and smiling.

"I don't want to spoil your evening with my stories; it can wait," I told him, running my hand through my nape.

"Y/n, I went out to smoke a joint alone because this party is really lame," he said, rolling his eyes, "so believe me, I'd rather sit here with you and listen to everything you have to tell me."

"Hey, it's my comeback night, you're not allowed to say it's lame!" I told him, offended, giving him a shoulder punch.

"Okay, okay, sorry!" he said, laughing, before sitting on the couch, and I followed suit.

He took a joint out of his pocket, and before lighting it, he turned to me. "Hmm, want some?"

"Oh no, thanks, I'll stick to this tonight," I said, grabbing the bottle I'd left on the small table.

"Whiskey?" he said, surprised, "who are you?" he joked.

"Shut up, idiot, I grabbed the first bottle I came across on my way here," I said, rolling my eyes.

The conversation flowed naturally between us; it was almost as if we had never been apart. Of course, in two years, both he and I had changed a lot, so it was a bit strange. However, that connection, that complicity we had, seemed intact.

I'm not sure how long we stayed on that porch, talking, but the bottle I had drunk was already half empty, and Chris must have been on his third joint since the beginning of our conversation.

"I can't believe you told him that!" Chris said, laughing.

"I warned you; I'm not the helpless little girl I used to be," I replied, chuckling and shrugging.

"Yeah, I saw that," he said, gradually stopping his laughter.

The silence returned, and I was lost in my thoughts, already quite tipsy and in a curious mood.

I had been hesitating for several minutes, debating whether to ask him a question. The more I drank, the more I wanted to ask, even though I knew it wasn't the best idea.

"Chris?" I finally said softly, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?" he simply replied, turning his head towards me.

"Can I ask you a question?" I asked him timidly.

"You just did," he said with a smirk.

"No, seriously, stop it!" I said, laughing and giving him a shoulder punch.

He straightened up, turning completely towards me, resting his head on his hand with his arm leaning against the top of the couch. "Seriously, I'm listening," he said, still with that sly smile.

His eyes were red and squinted because of the weed, and I won't lie, it made him quite sexy... or maybe I had had a bit too much to drink; what was I even saying?

"Have you dated other girls since we broke up?" I asked, instantly regretting it.

"Y/n—" he began before I cut him off.

"Sorry, that was a dumb question. I don't know what got into me," I said, hiding my face with my hands.

He chuckled at my action. "It's okay; I don't mind answering if you answer too..." he said, shrugging.

I removed my face from my hands to look up at him.

"But are you sure you really want to hear my answer?" he added.

I just nodded.

"I've slept with other girls, yes," he began, and I cut him off without thinking.

"How many?" I asked, sitting up.

"I don't really know, two or three, but they were just casual things, especially at the beginning when I needed to distract myself," he explained, feeling the need to justify himself.

"Okay... and why?" I asked.

"Why what?" he asked, confused.

"Why casual? In two years, you had plenty of time to find another amazing girl to be with. You can't make me believe that as the first one to fall for you, no other girl wanted you," I said, rolling my eyes.

"I didn't want to..." he confessed to me. "I— " he started before sighing, "I'm not sure if it's a good idea to explain why," he said, looking away.

"No, tell me; I want to know now," I urged him.

"Y/n," he said, looking me in the eyes.

"Chris, please, it's okay; we're just talking," I said, eager to know more.

"None of those girls were comparable to you," he admitted, "and I know it sounds silly, but it's just the truth. I couldn't get interested in those girls, and it wasn't their fault; they were interesting, and in another context, it might have worked with them," he said honestly.

"But my mind kept comparing them to you; none of them talked like you," he started saying, "none of them laughed like you," he added.

"None of them kissed like you," he said, looking at my lips, and I felt my panties dampen at that. Fuck.

"Every time I slept with another girl, I couldn't help but think of you, your body, and your moans," he said, lost in his thoughts.

"I couldn't stop thinking about how your lips wrapped so perfectly around me," he said, and I had to slightly open my mouth to get more air.

He shook his head, snapping back to reality. "Anyway, until now, I haven't been able to settle down with another girl because the only one I have in my mind is you," he said shyly.

I stared at him, mouth agape. I was dying to have him; everything he just told me had me way too excited.

"And you?" he asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"What?" I said, clearing my throat.

"And you, have you dated other guys?" he said, chuckling.

"Oh!" I said, blushing. "No, none," I replied timidly.

"None?" he repeated, surprised, and I simply shook my head from side to side.

"And how many guys have you slept with then?" he asked.

I took a moment to answer, embarrassed by the situation.

"Y/n, it's okay; you can tell me. I just told you mine!" he said, rolling his eyes.

"I-" I said before sighing and biting my lip, and he furrowed his brows.

"None..." I said softly.

His eyes widened at my response.

"Are you serious?" he asked to make sure.

"Stop it; you know very well that I'm not the type to sleep around," I said, feeling awkward.

"No, I know that; it's just hard for me to conceive that you've managed two years without sex," he said with a smirk.

"Wait, what does that mean?" I said, furrowing my brows.

"Y/n, when we were together, you played the innocent a lot, but you can't deny that you were just as horny as I was, if it’s not more…" he said, laughing.

"Chris!" I said, bringing my hand to my mouth before chuckling as well.

"No, I'm not saying it's a bad thing; on the contrary, it was something I loved about you," he said honestly.

"I even found it rather sexy..." he added, shrugging.

I squeezed my thighs together at that moment, and Chris noticed because I saw his eyes leave mine and land on my thighs.

"We should change the subject," I said, taking a deep breath and running my hands over my thighs, a bit embarrassed.

"Sorry, I didn't know it would have that effect on you," he said, unable to help but smile.

"It's okay," I said, biting my lip.

We looked at each other for a moment, both feeling a bit awkward.

His eyes briefly shifted to my chest, and that was the last straw for me.

Without thinking twice, I straddled him, immediately connecting our lips. He didn't waste a second to put his hands on my hips, making me moan.

He took the opportunity to slide his tongue into my mouth, and I started rocking my hips against him, making him groan in response.

His hands came to grip my hips to stop my movements, eliciting a frustrated groan from me.

"Y/n, this isn't right," he said, separating our lips.

"Chris, I don't care," I said, reconnecting our lips instantly. I was too hungry to stop there.

My hip movements resumed, and I could feel his erection through his jeans.

My hands were on his cheeks, and his hands firmly held my hips.

"You said we should do things right and that we were friends," he said, separating our lips again.

"Y/n, you've been drinking, and I don't want it to be something you regret tomorrow," he added.

"Some friends sleep together sometimes..." I said innocently, playing with his necklace.

He bit his lip and looked away. If there was one thing that could make this man weak, it was my way of acting innocently with him.

"Y/n," he said, closing his eyes and letting out a frustrated groan.

I knew I could make him crack; I just had to tease him enough.

I buried my head in his neck to kiss and leave a few love bites.

He tossed his head back to give me better access. "Fuck..." he whispered, and I slowly resumed my hip movements.

"Y/n, stop this," he said weakly, still with his fingers dug into my hips.

"Make me stop," I whispered in his ear before leaving a trail of kisses on his jawline.

"Y/n," he said in a firm voice this time, grabbing me by the neck to make me face him. "Don't play with my nerves like that."

"Chris, please," I said, gripping the wrist of the hand around my neck.

"I'm the one asking you. It's just a favor we're doing each other as friends," I said with a slight moan. "You help me fill the void I've felt for 2 years, and I give you the opportunity not to have to just imagine fucking me for once," I added.

"You said it yourself, no girl moans like me, no one kisses you like me, and their lips don't wrap around you as well as mine do," I continued to convince him.

"It's just a one-time thing. After that, I swear we'll be just friends for real, please, Chris, I need you," I pleaded.

I don't know if it was the alcohol or simply the lack of sex, but I never thought I'd be capable of saying such things to a guy in my life.

"Just a one-time thing?" he asked.

"Just a one-time thing," I replied, nodding.

"Fuck, this is so fucking wrong, y/n. What are you doing to me?" he said before kissing me again without removing his hand from my neck.

He slid his hand under my dress to grab my ass and massage it while helping me grind against him.

"Mmph, Chris," I moaned into our kiss.

"Shhhh," he said, slapping my ass.

I started pulling at his T-shirt to signal that I wanted him to take it off.

"Not here, princess," he said, smiling against my lips before separating them. "Stand up," he ordered, and I obeyed.

He stood up as well, firmly grabbing my hand before guiding us inside.

We quickly made our way through the crowd, passing by Nick, who tried to stop us, but Chris simply ignored him, too busy at that moment trying not to bend me over one of the tables in the house to fuck me in front of everyone.

We climbed the stairs, and Chris opened the first door he saw, which happened to lead to Julia's room. If she finds out about this, she's going to kill me.

He slammed the door shut behind us, making sure to lock it.

Then, he pressed me against that door, tightening his grip around my neck just enough to restrict the blood flow, causing my head to spin.

He wasted no time in forcefully removing my dress, it was so abrupt that he could have torn it if he wanted.

"Chris, be careful, take it easy," I said, chuckling, before he silenced me with yet another kiss.

"Don't ask me to fucking take it easy when you've spent the last 10 minutes teasing me on that damn couch, y/n," he said, removing his T-shirt.

He took off my bra, adding, "I fucking missed you."

The next moment, he slid his hands to the back of my thighs and lifted me, making me moan in surprise. It seemed like the hold he had on me back then hadn't changed.

He reconnected our lips, heading towards the bed where he tossed me, making me moan again from the sudden force.

"Chris," I sighed in a heated breath as I sat up, facing him at waist height.

But before I could reach for his belt to undress him, he violently pushed me back. "You'll move when I tell you to move. Have you forgotten your manners?" he said, a smirk playing on his lips.

His gaze was dark and intense; he could have threatened to kill me, and I would have moaned because of how much he affected me.

"Touch yourself," he ordered.

"What?" I said, feeling my face turn all red.

"Don't make me repeat myself; you heard me," he said authoritatively.

I swallowed hard before starting to take off my panties.

"I didn't tell you to remove your panties," he said, interrupting me.

"But—" I began to say before he cut me off.

"Is it so hard to be a good girl, Y/n? In two years, have you forgotten everything?" he said, shaking his head.

His words made me even wetter; I dreamed of one thing only: feeling him inside me.

"No, sorry," I said before starting to make circular motions on my clit through my panties.

He licked his lips, slowly removing his belt without taking his eyes off me.

"Stand up," he ordered.

Without hesitation, I stood up, still looking at him innocently in the eyes.

"You are so fucking beautiful, Y/n," he said, holding me by the chin.

His compliment made me immediately smile and blush.

"Your wrists," he asked, letting go of my chin, and I handed him my wrists.

With his belt, he tied my wrists together before kissing me.

He leaned towards me without breaking our lips to signal me to lie down on the mattress, which I did.

He separated our lips for a brief moment to press my arms above my head. "Don't move," he whispered before sliding his lips into my neck.

"My poor baby, I can't believe you've abstained for 2 years," he said before descending his kisses towards my chest.

"Now that I'm here, I'll take care of that for you, my princess," he said, circling one of my nipples with his lips to kiss it.

"Chris, please," I moaned, wriggling a bit.

"Shhhh, be patient, believe me, I won't stop there," he said before starting to descend his kisses towards my lower abdomen.

The closer he got to my thighs, the more I felt like I was losing my mind. It had been so long since I had felt that burning desire between my legs.

"Fuck, Chris, stop, please, I need you," I pathetically begged when he started to kiss my pussy through my panties.

He just chuckled at my pleas before removing my panties and diving his head between my legs.

He surrounded my clit with his lips, and I couldn't hold back the moans that escaped my mouth at that moment.

Lost in my own pleasure and especially completely carried away by the sensation of his tongue against me, I brought my two hands, still tied, to his hair to hold on.

He lifted his lips from me, making me raise my head towards him. "No, don't stop, Chris!" I said desperately.

"I told you not to move, Y/n," he reminded me, placing my hands back above my head.

"I'm sorry, I had—" I was interrupted in the middle of my sentence by his hands abruptly grabbing my waist to turn me over.

"What are you doing?" I said in a surprised moan when he grabbed my hips to put my ass in the air.

"This way, you'll have a much harder time moving," he said, and I could hear the smugness in his tone.

He kissed the base of my lower back, making me shiver, ensuring that my head remained pressed against the mattress below me.

He then placed a few kisses on my ass before resuming his work between my legs.

One of his hands kneaded my ass while he teased my entrance with the fingers of his other hand.

"Oh my—Chris," I said when he accelerated his tongue movements.

The sensation in my lower abdomen that I hadn't felt in so long was building up again; I was extremely close.

"C-Chris, I'm gonna cum," I moaned, burying my head in the pillow to try to muffle the sound of my moans.

"Give it to me, baby," he said, inserting two of his fingers into me and reconnecting his tongue to my clit.

"Fuck, Chris!" I exclaimed, feeling my legs tremble, and within seconds, my orgasm overwhelmed me.

Chris didn't detach his lips from me; he continued, and his fingers didn't slow down either. "Chris, I- I can't," I told him, breathless.

He detached himself from me at the sound of my words and turned me over again onto the mattress to kiss me.

I put my hands, still tied behind his neck, to bring him impossibly closer to me, which seemed to amuse him, judging by the way he smiled against my lips.

"You taste so fucking good, baby," he complimented me between our kisses, and I wrapped my legs around his waist.

I was still very sensitive, but I wanted more, I needed more.

So, I tightened my legs around his waist so that his erection pressed against my pussy.

"Are you that impatient?" he chuckled before reaching between our bodies to unbutton his pants, and I just nodded.

He straightened up to completely remove his pants and boxers before returning to position himself between my legs.

"If it hadn't been so long, I would've edged you for hours," he said, rubbing his tip against my thighs without entering.

"Chris, please, stop talking—" Before I could finish my sentence, he entered me without warning, making me moan in harmony with him.

"Oh my god, y/n, fuck, you're so—" I didn't let him finish his sentence, immediately capturing his lips in a passionate kiss.

He started moving inside me slowly, taking care to go all the way in with each thrust.

Our lips were still connected, our tongues perfectly synchronized—everything was perfect with him.

His pelvic movements accelerated, prompting me to throw my head back to moan once again.

"God, I'll never get tired of the sounds you make. Fuck, it's too good," Chris said, moaning as well, his head completely immersed in my neck, where he left fiery kisses.

"Chris—mmph," I started to speak but couldn't formulate my words correctly. Chris fucked me so well that I lost my words.

"What, baby? What do you want?" he said, seizing my chin to make me look into his eyes.

"I want to—fuck!" I said, moaning and closing my eyes. I felt him everywhere in me; it was too good.

"You can do it, sweetheart. Take your time," he said with a smirk, not slowing down.

"I want to touch you," I said, moaning again. "Please, Chris, I need to feel you," I begged.

He momentarily straightened up without pulling out to unfasten the belt around my wrists.

"Here you go, baby," he said in a soft voice before kissing me again.

This time, my hands went into his hair, neck, and back. I dug my nails into his back and biceps, completely controlled by my pleasure, and began to feel all these sensations invade me.

"Chris, oh my god, I'm so close!" I whined.

He sat up on his knees without pulling out. I moaned as he grabbed my legs and pulled them closer, penetrating even deeper.

"Mmmh, Chris," I moaned, raising my head to look at him.

"Shhhh," he said, placing my legs on either side of his head and encircling my knees with his arms to make sure I couldn't move.

He began thrusting into me at an unbearable speed, and the new angle allowed him to go really deep. His eyes were fixed on the lower part of my belly, where he could see himself entering and exiting. "Fuck," he exclaimed, keeping his mouth open.

"Chris! Chris, fu—god, don't stop!" I said, feeling my orgasm hit me hard when I started clenching around him. He spread my legs again to kiss me while still penetrating me, allowing me to ride out my orgasm.

He gradually stopped his pelvic movements while continuing to kiss me. Our kiss was tired and messy, but he didn't stop there.

We were both catching our breath. He separated our lips, pressing his forehead against mine. We stayed like that for a few seconds before he straightened up and withdrew from me, making me moan because I was still extremely sensitive.

I expected anything but what he did the next second. He grabbed me by the hips and turned me over again, pushing me on all fours.

"Chris, what—" Before I could finish my sentence, he started pounding into me without mercy, making me cry out in surprise and pleasure.

"Oh my fuck, Chris, I can't!" I told him, burying my head in the pillow once again.

"Yes, of course, you can. I know you have one more for me," he said without slowing down this time, bringing his fingers to my clit, making my eyes roll back in my head.

It felt so good, but I was still too sensitive; he didn't give me enough respite. I felt like my heart was going to give out from the intensity. I couldn't help but moan, even though I was unsure if I really wanted him to stop because I could already feel my third orgasm approaching.

"Do you really want me to stop?" he said in my ear, slowing down and pressing his chest against my back.

When he slowed down, I felt my orgasm slipping away, and I thought I was losing my mind. "No! Don’t stop, I can take it!" I said, shaking my head.

He wrapped his arm around my throat to hold me in place "that's my girl," he said and sank his teeth into my shoulder, mixing pleasure and pain in the best way possible. He sped up again, his fingers massaging my clit, and his shaft going as deep as possible, making me see stars.

I was close, and so was he; I could feel it in the way he moaned. "Y/n, oh my—"

"Chris, I'm so close," I cried, feeling my orgasm on the verge of exploding.

"Give it to me, baby. Fuck, cum for me, princess," he said, and that was all I needed to climax. This one was more intense than the others, stronger and more hypnotic.

After a few more thrusts, Chris also came, moaning my name in my ear. "Oh my god," he said, breathless, before pulling out and collapsing beside me.

I didn't move a muscle, too exhausted from everything that had just happened. "Are you okay, baby?" he asked, concerned, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just need to catch my breath," I replied, chuckling.

He laughed too before getting up to find something to clean me up. After a few minutes catching my breath in Chris's arms, we decided to get dressed and join our friends downstairs before someone noticed our absence.

And when I say someone, I obviously mean Julia, who will probably kill me when she finds out I slept with Chris in her bed.

Before leaving Julia's room, Chris kissed me one last time. "I missed you so fucking much," he said.

I chuckled before replying, "I missed you too, but we need to leave this room now." I said playfully, giving him a playful punch on the shoulder.

We finally left the room, and our paths separated when we arrived in the living room because Nick needed to talk to Chris privately.

I was about to join my best friend when I felt someone grab my arm.

I turned to see who it was and found myself face to face with a girl with brown hair and light eyes.

"Who the fuck are you?" she asked me, full of rage.

I was completely confused because I didn't know this girl at all, and I didn't understand why she was addressing me this way.

"Hmm? Y/n, who are you?" I asked, furrowing my brows.

Her eyes widened when she heard my name, and she let out a fake laugh at my response.

"I'm Tess, Chris's girlfriend!" she said with a big smile before approaching me. "So I suggest you keep your distance from him if you don't want me to bash your little depraved slut face!" she said, pushing me before turning on her heel and walking away.

Chris's girlfriend?!!

What the fuck?

Taglist: @chrisloyalgf @christopherscamopants @blahbel668 @thematthewlover @mattsturnioloarchive @carolinalikesthings @bernardsgf @whicked-hazlatwhore @hearts4chris

#chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #sturniolo #sturniolo edit #nicolas sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #smut #teach me

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astranva · 1 year

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Sexiest Man Alive

Word Count: 1.3k

Category: Pure fluff

Warning: Nothing

Summary: In which Chris is 2022's Sexiest Man Alive, he can't stop talking about his actress!wife and son, and actress!reader already knows.

a/n: MY GOODNESS the amount of asks i received about chris’ new title, i had to come out of my shell and give you something about it! i received a lot of “how does pe!reader feel” and here you go, my lovies!

Globally, people knew that you and Chris were the hottest couple alive. They had pictures, videos, and social media posts to prove it, and it helped that your high status was one that supported the fact as well.

“Can you hear me?” Megan, Chris’ publicist excitedly asked from his laptop screen, “Is Y/N here?”

“Right here,” you called, carrying your 2-month-old baby boy, River, as you stood behind the couch and right behind your husband.

“What’s up?” Chris asked her.

“Chris has just got a new title!” She exclaimed with a beaming face.

“Come on, Meg, spill!” You laughed.

She laughed, “Well, say hello to 2022’s Sexiest Man Alive,” she pointed through the screen.

Chris’ eyes widened and as did yours, your jaw dropping, “No way! No way! Are you kidding?” You exclaimed excitedly, “Finally! Finally, finally, finally!” You laughed in glee.

“Oh man,” Chris laughed, blushing face looking from Megan to turning his head to peek up at you, “How can I ever compete with Paul Rudd?”

You laughed, carefully leaning down to peck his lips, “No competition needed,” you said before looking at your baby, “You hear that. Rivvy? Daddy’s the sexiest man alive,” you giggled.

It wasn’t even three days later when People magazine reached out to plan a photoshoot with Chris, your husband deciding to have it on your farmhouse where the both of you were staying for the year instead of having to travel anywhere and leave you alone.

It was no surprise that everyone from the crew was almost shaking at your presence, having already been nervous as was about being Chris but being around the one and only Y/N Y/L/N did a number on everyone, and it didn’t help that you looked like you were glowing despite having a simple outfit that everyone knew that only you could elevate. It felt like everyone was feeling lucky to witness you after your birth, especially since you had been on a hiatus ever since River was born and the world hadn’t seen you since.

“Sorry, can you wait just a second, please?” You held a finger up to the photographer, Michael Swchwartz, smiling when he nodded and gave you an “of course” before you hurried towards Chris, pushing back a piece of hair, “Know you’d hate it if you saw that little stinker,” you muttered.

Chris smiled, hand moving to your waist, “I love you.”

You smiled, moving your hand to his cheek briefly, being quick and swift as you pecked his lips, “Lucky me,” you said.

Chris laughed, giving your hip a squeeze before you walked back to stand by the side, watching your husband pose for a few minutes before you went back inside to check on River.

It was an hour and a half later when Chris was changed from the outfits that he wore in the pictures, to a cozy sweater, sitting for the interview that everyone at their homes watched.

“What went through my mind?” He repeated the question he was asked, “My wife will be so happy,” he chuckled, “She’s proud of everything I do, but this is something that she’ll really brag about, although she’ll tease me a bit about it but-but she gets it, she gets it. She’s the most beautiful woman in the world anyway. Scientists proved it,” he smiled with a small shrug.

“Ha!” He laughed, “What would my middle school self think about this?” He repeated, looking down in thought, “Um, he’d probably be pumped because this probably would be the road to the cool table,” he nodded slightly, looking at the camera, “But to be honest, he’s been pumped for a while now,” he joked, raising an eyebrow with a soft smirk on his lips.

“First crush?” Chris repeated in the video, “Was probably-maybe, like, Winnie Cooper,” he answered, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry but I can tell you my last crush in a heartbeat only because I like to brag about the fact that I married my crush,” he teased, a small smirk on his face.

“My closest friends are my wife and friends that I’ve grown up with–kids that I’ve known since I was, eight, nine years old. That’s-That’s the beauty of my youth, that a lot of kids that I grew up with kind of stayed around Massachussets and all are still incredibly tight. We’re all married and have kids, or,” he pointed at himself, “Kid in my case. My-just my little buddy, River.”

About 4 minutes into the interview, and as Chris was talking about getting to play and enjoy Captain America, a loud baby cooing sound was heard, interrupting Chris before he laughed, “Riv has a lot to say about Captain America,” he said, looking away from the camera and towards you and his son who was in your arms, a smile on his face as he stared at Chris, “Hey, buddy, hey, hey,” Chris cooed, seeming to try to stop himself from standing up and walking towards his family.

5 minutes into the interview, Chris was excited as he replied to the interviewer’s question.

“Bobby, I love woodworking,” he answered, “I made River’s baby cot,” he said, “And I’m working on making a rocking chair for my wife and I. It’s-It’s actually coming along nicely. It’s starting to look great.”

“The amount of ones I post are dwarfed by the amount of ones I have on my phone,” Chris said as he talked about pictures he had of Dodger, 7 minutes into the video, “It’s been especially more and more after we had River because Dodger is like-he’s like a big brother now. He’s protective of River, he’s always sitting by his cot, or by Y/N and I when we’re with him. He’s always alerting us when River wakes up because-I know we're lucky but River hardly cries when he wakes up. Ever since he started getting more vocal, he’s been babbling and sort of-sort of singing, that’s what I say,” he pointed at himself with a smile, “So Dodger is always alerting us when that happens, like hey, baby is awake. Get him now!”

“Yeah, our cat, Pam has been very gentle with River,” Chris said, answering a question that viewers didn’t hear, “I think I say this all the time but she actually hates me so–my wife is rolling her eyes right now,” he laughed, “It’s true! It’s true! But I’m just glad that hatred wasn’t extended to our son.”

It was almost 8 minutes into the video when Chris got sentimental.

“My wife, my son,” he began, “Seeing them happy, making them proud, that’s absolutely something I want. I think-I think, you know, I hit the lottery with my family,” he smiled to himself, putting both hands together as he sat comfortably, “You know, the love I found, the love we share, it’s something that’s also through my experience of long fourty-one years has also rang true that those things are the most important, so yeah. I-I love the idea of tradition, of ceremony, and I had the best one I can ever dream of with my wife. So, yeah, I’m-I’m really lucky I get to share my life with someone so incredible and now that we have River, the idea of recreating that is just-I love that.”

By the end of the 10-minute interview, Chris smiled, “I feel a deep sense of contentment with my life and my career, and as a result I think that takes a lot of the weird pressure off and now that my family and I are spending this time away from everything, I’m really excited for my life as a dad. It’s a new journey, I have an incredible partner who’s walking through it with me,” he pointed slightly to the side towards where you were sitting beside the videographer and away from the camera with a proud smile on your face that only the people in the room could see, “An adorable son, my new buddy,” Chris smiled, “I’ve settled into a nicer phase where I’m just happy being at home.”

#planet evans #planet evans universe #pe blurb #pe social media #chris evans imagine #chris evans x reader #chris evans one shot #chris evans fluff imagine #chris evans fanfiction

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myheadhurtscutely · 5 months

Text

Star Stationary - Modern!Anakin Skywalker x Reader - Chp. 2

C ` Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Summary ` Since the Halloween party, you've been kind of down about the brown-haired girl you saw Anakin kiss, but no time to fret. Anakin can't bear to see you sad for long.

!Warnings! Angst. But little fluffy bits here and there

wc ` 1.3k

notes ! this is closely based on characters, Jim and Pam, from a tv show, The Office.

Chapter one

It had been a couple weeks since you and Anakin walked out of the party to deliver him to that beautiful woman in his front seat. As much as you hated to say it, you cried on the way to your car. You only knew him for a bit, but something about him felt special. A type of feeling you never had before. A gut feeling that you two were supposed to meet. Regardless, suck it up and move on. You had better things to do then sulk.

Today was the first time you had even made eye contact with him since then. He had slid some papers over your desk to fax. You looked up, expecting to see one of your other coworkers, but your eyes followed the trail from his silver watch, to his pale blue sleeve, his neatly tucked collar, up to his tanned neck, his tightened jaw, and finally, his beautiful baby blues. It was only a quick glance, but it was as if this was his way of asking to go back to how you were. A small gesture where he says he needs you.

"I um, I need you to fax this for me please." He adjusted his glasses, as you merely nodded, grabbing the papers off your desk. You felt his eyes follow you to the fax machine, and soon his feet followed suit. You stood there, eyes unwavering from the papers and the machine. His remained glued to you, as if he was in a trance.

"Here you go." Your voice was quiet as you handed them back to him. His hand brushed your pointer finger.

"Thank you receptionist." His little joke didn't land. You just stared at him. In his awkward state of embarrassment, he nodded his head and walked back to his desk. You tried not to think much of it, but god how you missed him. Your desk felt empty without your blonde statue to stand in front of it and pester you when you were in a pinch.

Your eyes drifted to his direction often times, and his to yours, but your visions never crossed paths.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆─────

Lunch rolled around after what seemed like ages. You had made yourself comfortable in one of the blue chairs in the break room. Alone. Everyone had already taken their lunch earlier, but you had become so slammed at one point you had almost forgot.

Mid-bite into your sandwich, the door creaked open. A pair of blue eyes briefly met with yours, but you quickly removed contact, focusing back on your lunch.

"Stop doing that."

What the hell? Who did he think he was?

"I beg your pardon?" You finished your bite, turning to meet his eyes again.

"Don't play dumb. You know what I mean. I don't mean to come off rude..." His confident demeanor faltered for a second at the thought of hurting your feelings.

"Anakin don't-"

"Don't what? Ask my friend what's going on?" Friend. God, you had newfound hatred for that word and everything it meant.

"Nothing's wrong..." He had made his way to your table, scooting a chair out and plopping himself down across from you, leaning on his forearms.

"You know I can tell when your lying." You let out a fake laugh.

"Listen I've been there before... let me help you." Your eyes bulged. What was he talking about? Help you? Surely, he was out of his mind. You kept your mouth shut, chewing, waiting to hopefully hear more of his proposition. "Moving to a new place is hard. Having no one to talk to... let me help get you out there!" You let go of a breath you didn't know you were holding. "Padme has this friend-"

"I'm good." Padme. That name would ring in your ears the rest of the week. Hell, maybe even month. Your stomach twisted and curled at her name, completely making yourself blind to Anakin's pleas. You couldn't help but curse yourself for picturing yourself in her place. She had done nothing wrong, and you weren't that type of person.

After much consideration, you put the last bite of your sandwich down. "I'm sorry Anakin. You're right. I shouldn't have been such an ass." Both of you laugh and smile. As you walk to the door, Anakin opens it for you, guiding you through with his hand on the small of your back.

You cursed yourself for how it made you feel. But did you have a choice?

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆─────

The clock ticked, 20 minutes till 5. Thank God. Your's and Anakin's playful antics resumed to a degree. Passing each other silly notes, sarcastic emails, and of course customer gossip.

RING!!!

The company phone pulled you out of your daydreams. You answered greeting them politely and offering your standard help. A feminine voice answered on the other side. She asked to be directed to Anakin.

"Of course, one second please!" Your smiley voice faded as you put the phone down and redirected her call. "Anakin, hey, line three!" You held up your three fingers and whisper yelled to him.

He shook his head, nodded, and smiled.

You genuinely weren't trying to be in his business, but his "business" client was beginning to sound like a very personal conversation. Anakin held his head low, and kept his voice down. You could pick up small bits of his sentences. He wasn't happy.

"I blocked you for a reason- Padme- please- I don't want to talk right now- stop it- c'mon" His low voice hummed under the white noise of the office.

After minutes, his telephone slammed back down in its place. The whole office jumped, looking over at Anakin who gently raised his hands, apologizing quickly, reassuring everyone.

After minutes of rubbing his temples, his eyes followed you as you grabbed your coat off the rack. Several other people were making their way to the exit. It was five and no one was in the mood to stay longer. You couldn't blame 'em. This white light was mind numbing.

After a moment of grabbing your belongings, it was just you and him.

"Hey," His voice called out to you. You turned to meet him. "here's that guy's number." Not quite the romantic confession you were dreaming of, but it was whatever. He handed you a sticky note with Padme's friend's name and number. He really meant the best. You couldn't be mad.

"Thanks.."

"Don't thank me." He smiled coming up to you, towering over you. He looked at you almost as if he was asking permission for something. You looked at him quizzically. His hands guided themselves to your coat, buttoning the first two top ones. "It's cold out y'know."

You knew, but he just made you feel warm inside.

"Cmon let's go." He stuck his arm out, offering it to guide you out. You playfully smacked him and walked in front of him, making your way to the elevator first. You quickly tried to get the door to close, but he stuck his hand through, triggering the sensors just in time.

He moved into the small space, parading his body weight over you, backing you into a corner, pretending you weren't there. "Anakin!" You said muffled.

"Oh sorry! Didn't see you there." He moved to the side, smiling as he took your light hits to his arm with ease. The rest of the elevator ride was spent with silent smiles, and muffled laughs, the kind of laughter only the two involved would understand.

Ding!

The doors opened, revealing the lobby to you and Anakin. Once again, he raced ahead of you to hold the door open, guiding you out the way.

You made your way to your car, and he had followed, opening the door for you. After you ducked your way inside, he gestured for you to turn and take your feet out of the door side so he could close it. "Drive safe alright?" He whispered, tapping the top of your vehicle.

"Yes sir." You chuckled, looking down. He just smiled in response, gently closing the door as he waved.

notes: THIS TOOK FOREVER I AM SO SORRY, FINALS AND STUFF ARE CRAZY. I am trying so hard to write because it is fulfilling, and I love communicating with everyone, but it has been stressful and I've barely found time. I promise I'll try and get better about it, just have a lot on my plate, (trust, I will eat tho). Sorry this one is a lot shorter, I just don't want to add onto a chapter if it doesn't feel fitting y'know.?Regardless, thank you so much for being patient with meee. I hope you enjoyed!

tags ` @darthgloris , @queenie-official , @bby-imasociopath , @mxltifxnd0m , @jayrami3 , @robertsmithclone , @brainscabs , @bimbo-baggins86 , @t8lzw

(<3)

#anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker x you #hayden christensen #hayden christensen x reader #anakin skywalker #anakin x reader #anakin x you #star wars x reader #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker fanfic

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winterchimez · 5 months

Text

Nonsense | Jacob Bae

SUMMARY: never would you have thought that joining the music club is where you would develop an abnormal crush on your senior/club president Jacob Bae. so when the university's annual school performance is around the corner, you have decided to give a shot to confess your feelings in the most extravagant way possible.

PAIRING: senior!Jacob x junior g.n!reader

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: pg-13, kissing, yall this is just pure tooth-rotting fluff

WORD COUNT: 4,473

A/N: we're back with another fic for the emails i can't send fwd: collab that i'm doing with @heemingyu 😉 shoutout to both sana & @sungbeam for beta reading & helping me out with this one!! love you both loads 💕 also, lowkey this was written for you @zzoguri aka cobster's future, i hope you'll enjoy this (and may this somehow be a little something for you during your hectic times ily my moni forever!! ❤️)

It was finally the summer holidays, and you were ecstatic as you heard the sound of a vehicle driving right onto your front porch. You had been waiting for this moment since you got the news during the new year and counting down the days on your calendar without fail every day.

Once you heard the engine stop, you immediately ran out to the door to jump right into the person’s arms which were already opened wide, fully expecting your demeanour.

“Yujin! I’ve been waiting months for you!” You shrieked as you hugged your cousin tight, rubbing your cheek against hers.

Both you and Yujin were raised together by your grandmother back in Vancouver, and things took a turn when your parents eventually got a promotion up in Toronto, causing you to move far away from your family. Because of that, you don’t get to see each other often anymore, the most being once every 2 years when your parents will try their best to make time to attend the Christmas parties held annually at your grandmother’s house.

Yujin was like your long-lost sibling; even though you were cousins, you both felt there was more to that. Ever since you both have gotten your very own mobile phones, you both promised that you would FaceTime each other almost every other day. You knew everything about one another—from each other’s darkest secrets to how much money you stole from your parents' wallets when you were younger to buy that vinyl you have been eyeing for the longest time.

But lately, things have been a bit too chaotic for you both to keep up the promised ritual. Since you both started university, it was hard to make plans, especially when studying in different courses, which also meant different timetables and classes. During the weekends, the both of you would often be occupied with either school events or at your local pizzeria as your part-time job. Hence, texting was the primary source of communication between you two.

And besides that, something crucial had happened to you lately, and you couldn’t wait to spill the beans to your cousin.

Once you had helped Yujin unload her stuff from the car and moved it up to your room, you quickly made yourselves feel comfortable by cuddling together on your sofa bed.

“So, tell me. How has life been for you?” you asked, blinking your eyes, trying to give her a pleading face because you wanted to know about everything that had happened lately.

“I’ve been promoted to being part of the student council at my university! Oh, and then there’s also me actually acing an exam that I clearly did not study for because I was up all night that past few weeks playing Genshin Impact. Oh, and then there was this adorable guy from my campus who I think kind of has a crush on me because he always glances in my direction, like you know? That stare? And then—”

“Woah woah, slow down, tiger,” you had to pause your cousin because clearly, she was dumping all of the information without giving you time to process them individually. With that, the both of you chuckled, hands placed onto your stomach as you began to laugh a little bit too hard until it started to hurt.

This was what you had missed so dearly, and you couldn’t help but put on this genuine warm, soft smile on your face as you looked into Yujin’s eyes.

That was until she squinted at you.

“Whatever you’re doing right now is creeping me out real bad, so I suggest you stop that.”

You slapped her arm. “Rude.”

“Fine. What about you then? I’m sure your time at the University of Toronto has been a wild ride for you.”

“About that…I have something I need to consult you for,” you lowered your head and voice to a minimum, which got your cousin's ears perked up and was prodding your arms, wanting to know the details.

“Oh my god, did you just finally have your first kiss?”

“W-what? No! I mean, at least not yet….”

“What do you mean not yet? So do you have a special someone in your life right now?”

With a deep sigh, you took one of the pillows lying on the floor and threw it in Yujin’s direction, causing her to hug the pillow tight as she laid her head down gently to rest on it.

“Buckle up, babe. It’s going to be a long story.”

Flashback

“God, why do I have to sign up for this?”

You stomped your feet to the ground as you looked at the paper, which read: “Applications for extra-curricular activities such as clubs are mandatory for all students, commencing on April 2023.”

Your university had been pretty lenient over the years, and they had never once forced students to participate in clubs if they chose not to, understanding that some of them had make-up classes for their courses or were just busy with their thesis and side jobs. Most of the students in the university themselves took on part-time jobs, such as working in the school’s cafeteria and library, to earn a little bit of pocket money to survive.

So, when they decided to change the rules after the previous headmaster resigned and was replaced by a new one that everyone did not like, she chose that both coursework and extracurricular activities played a crucial role in one’s graduation.

Left with no choice, you stood before the bulletin board, trying to find a club that suited your taste.

“Screw Mrs. Kim.” You huffed.

“Look, Y/N. It can’t be too bad. It’s just a club. After all, nobody said you have to be super committed to it,” Your friend Keeho sighed, looking at how you beat yourself up over such trivial matters.

“You don’t understand, Keeho. This means I will have less time at home because I will have to leave to work my shifts at the pizzeria right after clubs. What is going to happen to my games and k-dramas?” You whined.

“If you want to graduate from university, you’re going to have to choose one now.” Knocking some sense into you, he gave you a pat on your shoulder before walking away towards the opposite direction, heading to his club.

You turned to look back at the bulletin board once again, scanning through all of the posters and flyers that were scattered throughout. After a minute or two, your eyes finally landed on this one cream-coloured flyer, and you sighed before checking the location once more before heading to your destination.

“This is the only option that will work for now.”

“Hello?” You called out, but the room was empty as you opened and peeked your head through the door. Thinking that you should try again, you entered the room and looked around.

There was nothing here but a ray of sunshine shining through the glass window into the empty room, and the sunlight landed directly on the lone black piano at the corners of the room.

Maybe playing it for a while wouldn’t hurt at all.

You slowly approached the piano and opened it up as you made yourself comfortable, sat down, and got into the rightful position, gently laying your hands on the keys. Immediately, you started playing one of your favourite pieces of all time, Summer by Joe Hisaishi. Unbeknownst to you, your body began swaying along with the music, enjoying the moment you were in.

That was until a clap made you stop your tracks.

“Wow, that was some excellent playing right there.” The male gave you a round of applause as he slowly approached you, causing you to jump right up, looking all flustered.

“I-Umm—I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to play the instrument without approval—”

“Oh no, no! The piano is free for anyone who wants to play, so you’re all good,” he reassured you, causing you to calm your fast breathing down by placing a hand on your fast-rising chest.

As he finally reached where you were standing, he posed a question directly at you. “Is there anything that I could help you with?”

It was there, and then you took in his facial features as the sunlight shone from his face. His soft fluffy brunette hair, those doe-like eyes, and how mesmerising it was as he smiled. Adding onto the fact that he keeps smiling in the best way possible, your heart starts to flutter.

“Umm, hello?” He was now waving his hands over your face.

Oh, right. You were supposed to sign up for a club. What on earth were you thinking, Y/N?

“Y-yes! I’m here actually to umm…sign up for the club,” you said reluctantly, a little bit too shy with your answer.

That was when the male’s eyes widened, and he did a little jump to indicate how happy he was to hear that from you, and he quickly extended out his hands to you, giving you a handshake.

“But of course! We are always open to new members joining the music club! Oh, pardon me, where were my manners? You can call me Jacob.”

“Y-Y/N.” You replied.

It has been around two weeks since you joined the music club, and everything has been going smoothly for you. Thanks to Jacob (who turned out to be the club’s president), he has helped you so much in trying to get you to blend into the crowd and with other musicians, creating a very safe and warm atmosphere for everyone.

It was also then that you noticed what kind of a person he was. He was very gentle, yet suitable to be a leader. The tone of his voice and the way he handled things fairly and reasonably made everyone respect him and want to perform alongside him.

From what you have heard from the club members, Jacob would lead the team to busk at the city centre once every two to three weeks, which was where they would earn some money that served as their reward as they went out to celebrate once in a while at the local party scenes such as the bars.

Thanks to his guidance, the university’s music club eventually garnered enough audience from the school and the public to the point that they have been invited to perform multiple times throughout the year. You have heard that even local communities such as the orphanage and childcare facilities would often ask Jacob and his team to function for the underprivileged ones, and they would gladly volunteer, even if it were for free.

There were a few times when you stayed behind to help Jacob close up the music room (more like you were trying your best to spend much time with him as much as you could), and it was when you decided to ask him about his thoughts and the way he did things around here.

“Music just means so much to me, and I would gladly perform every day even if I had to. It’s not about the money; it can be great as a little side income, but what matters most is that I do this because I am passionate about it,” he replied, clearly stating his goals and reasons well.

Ever since that conversation, you notice more in detail how he did things or even when he performed. Just as he said, he was passionate—it didn’t matter if things were hindering his way, he would still make way for it.

No matter how burnt out he could be from his coursework or side job, he would always place the music club first, making sure that not only he enjoyed the whole process but also the club members as well.

Slowly, you began to admire him for not just his good looks but also his personality. It was as if he was this fine perfect gentleman that had just entered your life easily, and you couldn’t stop thinking about him each day.

It was the way he was always smiling with others, the way he would sometimes sit at the piano and play a duet with you, the way you both were guitarists, so one of you would either offer a fun little duet session after club hours, even up till writing song lyrics together.

And how there was one time he unintentionally got his arms around your waist when you slipped from the wet, freshly-cleaned wooden floor from the club, and he caught you in time.

That was something that you have thought about all the time ever since it happened.

As the weeks progressed to months, the little spark in your heart for him eventually grew, and it just kept getting bigger each time you saw him in the same club room.

And that was when you knew you were in big trouble.

End of flashback

“Damn, you're whipped,” Yujin concluded after listening to your story.

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you this, Yujin. I’m so screwed.” You buried your head in your palms, the slight headache becoming more prominent now.

“Hey, what’s wrong with liking a senior? I’d say it’s your time to shine and confess to him.” She reassured you by gently rubbing your back before you slowly lifted your face up.

“That’s because I think I might be in too deep,” you mumbled.

“And how exactly did you come up with that conclusion?”

“Do you ever start stammering and slur your speech when they get close to you like they’ve not done anything, but somehow you just can’t converse like a proper human being.”

“Oh.”

“When they literally tell you how they absolutely love your eyes and loved making them roll?”

“Okay. Go on.”

“And that you actually finally got their contact number and literally named them ‘do not leave me alone’?”

“Hold up, let me see.”

Reluctantly, you fished out for your phone in your back pocket and scrolled through your contact list until you found Jacob’s. As you click into it, you nervously hand your phone to your cousin, praying internally that she will not drop another diss to make you feel worse than you already are.

Do not leave me alone ❤️‍🩹. That was exactly what was written for the club president’s contact name on your phone.

“Damn, Y/N. I never would have thought you would be so delusional. I’d like to think that you’re far worse than I am,” Yujin declared, turning your face into a bright red tomato again.

“I know, Yujin! And I have never felt this way before. That’s why I needed your validation.” You were practically doing somersaults mentally right now, wishing that you could take it all back, but at the same time, you needed to let out your inner feelings too.

As Yujin handed your phone back to you, she raised an eyebrow before posing you a question. “So, what exactly do you intend to do from here on?”

“There’s this upcoming music festival at my university this weekend, and I will be performing on stage.”

“Oh, that’s great—”

“And I’m going to perform a song I wrote specifically about him,” you blurted out.

That made Yujin shut her mouth as she tried to process what she had just heard. “Wow, Y/N. You are literally going all out on this.”

“I just need a way to get this off my shoulders somehow, Yujin. And it’s now or never,” you said.

“Will he realise that you are trying to serenade him, though?” Yujin asked as she placed her hand on your shoulder.

“Success or not, I will still do it. And then I’ll completely forget that I’ve ever written this song ever again.”

It was finally Friday night, and the auditorium hall was filled with students, lecturers, and outsiders. Peeking from the backstage, there was this nervousness in the pit of your stomach, and you were now trying your best to rethink your actions.

What exactly had made you even decide to sign up for the concert in the first place had remained a mystery for you, and looking back now, you swore you would’ve thrown a cold bucket of water over you to wake you up from your insanity.

But it was too late to turn back now, as it would be your turn on stage in a few minutes. After the previous performer finished his chosen song, the MC briefly introduced you and your contributions to the music club before finally inviting you onstage.

As you entered with the white guitar you had gotten for Christmas a few years prior, you tried your best to search for Yujin amongst the crowd—sure enough, she was sitting right at the side, waving her hands enthusiastically to cheer you on. You couldn’t help but flash a smile back.

And finally, you decided to find the man of your dreams, and he was sitting right in the middle section along with the other club members. He gave you a clap just like the rest of the audience did and mouthed out a few words that you couldn’t grasp. Perhaps he was just saying “all the best,” as one would as they support their fellow members.

When you finally reached where the microphone stood, you adjusted yourself before positioning your fingers along the instrument's strings and introducing the piece you were about to perform.

“This song was written by a special someone in the crowd tonight, and whoever that it may be, I hope this song speaks to your heart and that you mean a lot to me. Without further ado, enjoy.”

With a few strums from the guitar, you gathered enough courage to smile before singing into the microphone.

I’ll be honest. Looking at you got me thinking nonsense. Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in And when you got your arms around me Oh, it feels so good

Instantly, you noticed several people from the crowd starting vibing along with your song as they naturally swayed their bodies from left to right, enjoying the melody and rhythm your song produced.

I had to jump the octave I think I got an ex, but I forgot him And I can’t find my chill, I must’ve lost it I don’t even know, I’m talkin’ nonsense I’m talkin’, I’m talkin’

When you peeked from the corner of your eye, you noticed how Yujiin practically stood up, clapping her hands along with the rhythm. Naturally, the people around her joined in, as did the crowd from the middle and far left section.

God, were you so grateful for that, so much so that you were trying to hold back your tears.

I’m talkin’ all around the clock I’m talkin’ hope nobody knocks I’m talkin’ opposite of soft I’m talkin’ wild, wild thoughts You gotta keep up with me I got some young energy I caught the L-O-V-E How could you do this to me?

I’ll be honest. Looking at you got me thinking nonsense.

With one final strum, you ended the performance with a bang, and you got the crowd to give you one of the loudest cheers you have heard throughout the night. Some have even given you a standing ovation, and you swore that tears were about to form in your eyes.

You quickly redirected your attention to Jacob, and he did the same, standing up while giving you that sweet honey smile that you’ve grown to be obsessed with, clapping along with the rest of the audience.

Thank you for existing, Jacob Bae. I hope you can hear my thoughts through this song written specifically for you.

With a final bow, you quickly exited the stage.

You were sitting on a bench at a park near campus, opening the bottle of sparkling water you had gotten from one of the nearby vending machines.

You met up with Yujin right after the show and told her how you wanted some time alone just to wind down and digest everything that had happened. You reassured her that you wouldn’t be gone too long and would return as soon as possible. Thankfully, your cousin understood the message and agreed so long as you did not venture far away nor leave her alone too long exploring your campus.

With a sip of the water, you couldn’t help but smile as you looked up into the skies filled with stars on a clear night like today. The secret was finally out, and a burden was lifted from your shoulders, so you could just sit back on the bench and relax a little bit.

That was until a voice brought you back to reality.

“Mind if I join you?”

You jolted up from the bench to see the man you were trying to serenade, and immediately you felt the heat rise towards your cheek, and you began stammering again.

“Y-yes, o-of course!! Umm..g-go ahead!!”

As he sat next to you, you naturally shifted slightly away from him and ducked your head down as you began to rub your palms around the water bottle you were holding back and forth. Jacob noticed your demeanour, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he saw the redness of your face becoming more prominent.

Because he had always known how you have been having a crush on him.

To break the ice, he devised a simple conversation to help you loosen up a bit and break off the tension.

“I really like your guitar, Y/N. It’s just the right shade of white, and seeing it reminds me of elegance and simplicity but in an attractive way.”

“U-uh, thanks! It was gifted to me as a present—”

“Just like you, Y/N.”

Wait, what?

Did you just hear that right? Or is your mind playing tricks with you? Maybe the after-effects of adrenaline from the performance got you thinking nonsense. But you had to make sure.

“I umm…I beg your pardon?”

“I said what I said, Y/N. I know you have a crush on me.”

Oh no.

“How I make you feel all giddy and excited every time I talk to you.”

Oh, hell no.

“And I’m going to guess that the song you just performed was directed towards me.”

Lord Jesus, take the wheel.

At this point, you felt as if you were receiving dozens of arrows shooting right into your heart one at a time, and you were just about to pass out. What you thought was a simple crush became way too apparent to the point that your love interest has already known since day one.

This is the most embarrassing shit ever.

You quickly recollected yourself by sitting up straight and clearing your throat before responding properly.

“Ha-ha, I guess I-I was too obvious!! I-I’m sorry if I might’ve made you un-uncomfortable in any way—”

That was when Jacob interrupted you. “What makes you think I was uncomfortable by all of this?”

Jacon now inches a few spots closer to where you were, and your butt was glued shut on the bench because if you were to move any further, you would end up falling straight onto the grass.

Oh, good lord.

“I’m actually grateful for you, Y/N. I think it’s the first time anyone has ever felt that way about me,” he smiled.

That was when you blinked your eyes. “W-what, really? How can people not fall in love with you—” You clasped your hands over your mouth as soon as you said the “L” word.

He chuckled. “I don’t know. People have always seemed to view me as a good friend but not a potential love interest. I haven’t had one since a long time ago, and that made me rethink if I could ever date again.”

Gently he laid his hands onto yours that were situated on the bench as he turned his full attention to you now.

“And funny enough, I’m pretty sure I have feelings for you too. The moment I saw you playing Summer on the piano that first day we met, I knew there was something different about you. And I am so glad that eventually we got close to one another.”

After that, Jacob finally took in a deep breath before turning his direction back to you, which made you gulped for a second. “I think it wouldn’t be fair for me to not give you a proper response to your confession to me, no?”

Oh, god. It’s here. “S-so…what are your thoughts, Jacob? Was the song okay?”

“Y/N. It was far beyond just okay. It was a masterpiece, and I loved how quirky you are with the lyrics. It was something else, but it suited my taste.”

As he finally intertwined his fingers with yours, he inched his face closer to yours until they were centimetres apart.

“I accept the proposal, Y/N.” He smiled.

“Y-you…you do?” You asked weakly as if you were already not melting enough from the tension and heat.

“Will you give me a chance, Y/N?” There was this glistening in his eyes, and he looked exactly like Puss in Boots from the animation that both you and Yujin loved watching when you were kids.

“If you’re ready to deal with me, of course,” you stammered.

He gave you the biggest smile before pulling you into a warm embrace. “More than ready, Y/N.”

As you sunk into his embrace and took in his scent, you rested your chin upon his shoulders and stayed just like that briefly before Jacob broke off the hug and gently grabbed both of your shoulders, his eyes now landing on your lips.

“May I?”

Without giving a proper answer, you immediately shut your eyes, indicating that it was a yes in your books. Jacob chuckled at that for a while before leaning in to give a peck on your lips.

The sweet moment was then ruined by a ruffling noise coming from behind as both you and Jacob turned towards its direction. Sure enough, you found your cousin Yujin emerging from one of the trees with her phone in hand, recording the whole session.

“Now, that is what I call a successful indirect confession!” She exclaimed.

“Miss Ahn Yujin don’t you even dare—” you quickly threatened her before you took off running towards where she was, and she did the same but ran away from you instead.

“You will be sleeping on the streets tonight!” You yelled.

“Try me, Y/N!” She replied.

Jacob watched as the two of you began chasing each other around the park, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he laid back and propped one arm on the bench, just admiring everything about you.

“Little did you know Y/N, that you also got me thinking nonsense about you all day every day.”

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coucouatoi · 7 months

Text

we're not who we used to be | h.s.

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Summary: Some letters you've written but never sent to Harry over the years.

Warnings: Angst... so much... there's some fluff, emphasise on the some, there's a hopeful ending tho!

A/N: Sooo this is the childhood friends to strangers fic no one asked for... Hope you all enjoy! This is my writing debut in Harry land :)

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April 10' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your first fan

Hiya Harry,

It's currently 11:29 pm about 10 hours away from your audition. I figured since you told me to stop praising you and boosting your ego, I'm writing down the rest of the things I want to say.

Firstly, I know you're going to smash it! All the judges are going to want you in. There's no chance that they won't see how special you are, how you're the next big thing.

I won't let you back out of it last second! Anne, Gemma and I are ready to drag you onto the stage, we've discussed it thoroughly...

Secondly, I'm already so proud of you. This is a huge step, I know how nervous you are about it. How you think that everything is going to go wrong and that you'll fail. I've got enough hope in you for the both of us. I'll stand by your side the whole time and I'll cheer the loudest.

To finish, you're Harry Styles. You can do anything.

Break a leg superstar!!

Cheering you on already,

Your first-ever fan

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December 12' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your biggest fan

Harry!

You've made it all the way to the finals! It's crazy! I knew you could do it but seeing you go further and further has been surreal.

I hope you and the other boys get along well! We haven't had much chance to really gossip about it all, you seem excited with them!

The finale is set to start in about 2 hours and I had to get some emotions out (my mom was tired of hearing them... rude) Anyway! I remembered that I had written you a letter a few months ago and now I'm back in this notebook.

I'm so nervous, excited and kind of nauseous about watching the last episode tonight. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now... You must be so scared but incredibly jittery!

I'm counting the days until I get to see you again! I want to hear everything that's happened behind the scenes! You know how nosy I am!

I've already taken up two pages so I'll stop for now.

You can do this!

Talk to you soon,

Your favourite person ever

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March 7' 2011

To: You From: Me <3

You called me Angel today...

I don't know what to make of that.

I had so many butterflies in my stomach.

Could you call me that again?

You're my favourite person,

Angel

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November 20' 2011

To: Harry From: Angel

Boo!

You finally let me listen to the full album today! Said you had to be there when I listened to it so you could give me all the secrets. You also wanted to see live how I reacted to every song. You're too cute.

"I Want" is my current favourite.

You did tell me that you'd resonated with a lot of the lyrics you sang on this album. That almost scares me.

How did you relate? Who was going through your mind?

You do have the world at your feet now. I shouldn't feel jealous but I do like having you all to myself. Don't worry I'll get used to sharing...

The Up All Night Tour is starting soon! I'm happy that you've invited me to come to some shows. I'll be there no matter if I have to miss school.

I have to show all these newbies that I'm THE biggest Harry Styles fan out there!

Hopefully, you thought about me while signing.

Because I think about you all the time,

Your favourite fan.

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April 13' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel

G'Day Mate!

So you're officially all the way in Australia now! That's so exciting I wish that you could have stuffed me into your suitcase... sniff

I bet it's super warm there! Or not wait their seasons aren't the same as ours, are they? I'm not even sure...

Hopefully, you can tan a little while you're there! Don't go near any animals or insects!!

I miss you a lot, maybe I'll send this one (spoiler I definitely won't).

Talk to you soon hopefully.

Go swim in the ocean,

Someone who wants to be in it

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August 29' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel?

You haven't come to see me since you've been back.

Too busy being a celebrity?

I've been seeing all these tabloids... I'm not allowed to be jealous I know but I miss you.

I hope you've missed me.

I really really wish you were here with me or that I was with you wherever you are now.

I just want to be us.

Have you forgotten your friend from the small town already?

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

January 1' 2013

To: Harry From: Someone You've Hurt

I don't know what to think,

You kissed me. It made me happy.

You said it was a New Year's kiss.

You said you drank too much, it hurt.

You ended up kissing someone else about 20 minutes later.

That hurt even more it almost made me feel used.

I'm happy you were my first kiss.

I don't think you'll even remember it,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

November 27' 2014

To: Harry From: Me

I love the new album, took me a while to finally listen to it. I thought you'd come home and make me listen to it in your presence.

You didn't. The first album that I've listened to alone.

Spaces and Fools Gold are my favourite songs. I wonder how many lyrics you resonate with. How many of them did you write?

Come home?

Only for a day please,

Your first Angel

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

October 21' 2015

To: Harry From: Y/N

It's been a while,

It's your mom's birthday today. Well only for a few more hours...

She invited my family and me to the party, and of course we went. I didn't think you'd be there. I haven't seen you in almost a year.

It was fun.

Catching up about everything that's been going on with you and the band. Your life is so much more interesting than mine now.

I'm just a boring college student... you're this huge star but that's ok there's no one like you for me, you're my safe place. No matter how far away.

You asked about my love life and I told you about the date I had a few days ago. You asked if we had sex, I lied and said yes. I didn't want to embarrass myself by telling you no one's ever been with me like that.

We ended up getting drunk. Too drunk.

We fucked.

You took my virginity and you have no idea... should I tell you? You were so good. So gentle, loving but you fucked with a purpose, you needed to get off. I won't ever see your childhood bedroom the same way.

This was only a few hours ago.

I've felt every emotion about it. Now I'm crying because I know you'll find someone new to share a bed with. I'm just a notch in your headboard.

It meant everything to me.

But I think I regret it...

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 12' 2017

To: You From: Me

Really?

I hope Only Angel isn't about me.

But I'm overanalysing every single song. Is one about me? Did you think of me while making this album?

We haven't talked since the last time we saw each other. When we fucked again. It wasn't even the second time, after your mom's birthday two years ago we never stopped. It's all we do when we see each other.

It doesn't make me feel all that much better but I feel like if it wasn't for that we wouldn't even know each other anymore.

I'm moving away this year. Got a job offer in Canada and I'm taking it.

Maybe I'll get over you... hopefully.

I can't live my whole life waiting for someone who I don't know anymore.

I'm blocking your number.

I miss who we used to be,

Your first-ever fan

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 4' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Hello,

You've crawled your way back into my life, Harry. This morning, you decided to send me your album. Your new one, Fine Line. Your fans haven't even heard it yet. The public hasn't either.

You didn't write a single thing in your email, the mp3 link was staring me down with your automated signature. Not even a greeting.

I shouldn't have listened to it.

I don't know why you sent it to me. We haven't spoken or crossed paths in over a year. Not since I moved and tried to get rid of every way of contact between us.

I still haven't answered, I don't think I will.

You don't get to know what I feel about it. Not anymore.

I'm sorry Harry.

I've moved on,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 13' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Your new album came out today.

I'm proud of you even if we are strangers now.

You're a superstar.

I always knew you would be,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 17' 2020

To: H From: Y/N

I saw that you had to postpone your tour.

You must feel so defeated.

I know I do. Everything's been closed and opened and closed again here in Canada. It's getting exhausting.

I hope the world starts working again soon.

This all sucks...

Crossing my fingers for the tour,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 18' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Hi,

You sent me the album before the release again.

This time you did say something: I miss you Angel, Can we meet up?

I didn't think I could feel so many butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a teenager again. And I cried more than once listening to Harry's House.

I'm still considering if I should answer... if I do what should I choose? Should I agree and go into the unknown or forget it happened and keep on going with my life?

I miss you too... the one I knew. Not the one who used me. I guess I used you too... How did we get here?

All I want is to be loved and to be in love.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for the hurt this will bring but maybe I should just be a grown-up about this...

I want you back in my life.

That scares me,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 16' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Well,

I'm going to the Love On Tour today and after we are going to "meet". We even have until the 20th because that is when your next show is, after today obviously.

You were so excited when I agreed.

It's almost as if no time has passed when we text (he changed his number in the last few years... no need for an embarrassing unblocking).

My friend, the one who convinced me to agree, helped me pick out an outfit. Thankfully for her, I won't stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd of feather boas and cowboy hats.

I really want this to work.

I want to believe that we can be good again. We can be healthy for one another again but I'll be worried until I see you.

Until we speak.

I won't let myself touch you, I have a feeling that it would be far too easy to fall back into a bed. Maybe a hug would be okay.

I'm excited for the show, to see the Superstar Harry Styles in action. After so many years you have to have evolved so much.

You aren't little Harry from Worcestershire anymore.

I'm not the same person I once was either.

See you tonight.

Break a leg,

Y/N

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n

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xoxodiluc · 2 years

Text

in my dreams, you love me back | kamisato ayato x female! reader

genre romance, angst, hurt / no comfort

cw arranged marriage, ayato's kind of an asshole, heartbreak | not proofread.

inspired by in my dreams by red velvet

notes in my angstfics era i think and i'll write a part 2 of this maybe

sequel i love you

The version of Kamisato Ayato in your head was better than he was in reality.

In your dreams, he would eat dinner with you and talk about his day. After a tiring day at work, just seeing your face makes him happy.

"I'm home." Ayato enters your shared house and notices you sleeping on the couch. Ah, just the sight of you makes his tiring day better. He takes a glance at the dining table and sees all the delicious food you had made for him. 'Hmm... Looks like she hasn't eaten yet.' And just in time, you flutter your eyes open and see your husband looking at you with a smile. "Oh, you're home! How long have you been there?" "Not too long, my love. Come on, let's eat these delectable dishes you've made. I can't wait to tell you about what happened at work today."

In reality, his chair often is empty, you're always alone while eating and when he eats with you, he never talks at all.

"I made dinner." You awkwardly pointed at the dining table as Ayato entered your shared house, and he simply nodded while taking off his coat. While eating, no words were muttered. Not even a 'thank you'. He only ate with you once a week, and it was always like this. But you still loved him.

In your dreams, he would sleep with you every night, embracing you as you both fall into a slumber, and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

"I love you," Ayato whispers, hugging your frame tightly. "Goodnight." You lift yourself up to kiss his lips as you say, "Goodnight, I love you too," before going back to curl up into his chest. It wasn't long till you fell into a deep sleep, dreaming of Ayato in your dreams.

In reality, he wouldn't even sleep in the same bed with you.

Ever since you two got married a year ago, instead of being in a shared bedroom, Ayato would always tell you that he'll sleep in the guests' bedroom. And a few months later, he stopped letting you know. He didn't have to, as he'd go straight into another room to sleep. But you still loved him.

Every time you woke up after dreaming of Ayato, you'd cry.

You could only dream of him loving you back.

"I understand that you don't like me, but could you at least talk to me?" It was funny that you were both living together for a year but almost never spoke to each other, or at least you tried speaking to him.

Ayato didn't even look up from the papers on his desk, "I'm busy."

You looked up, trying to stop your tears from falling. You finally had enough. "Do you hate me so much that you won't even talk to me?"

No response.

"What did I even do to you?"

"What did you ever do to me?" He looked at you, jaw clenched. "You confessed to me that you love me a week before your father told me we were getting married—"

"It wasn't my choice to marry you, Ayato!" You cried, "I only knew about it the same day my father told you!"

You've known Ayato since you were kids, and you've liked him ever since, even dreaming about marrying him. You confessed your love to him last year and he said he couldn't give you an answer yet, then a week after your confession, your father arranged a marriage for the both of you.

And he thought this was your way to have him all by yourself. He thought this was your doing. He thought you begged your father for you to marry him.

"Just because I couldn't give you an answer to your confession—"

"Stop!" Now, tears were streaming down your face. "Stop accusing me of such things!"

He doesn't even trust you, so there was no way he could believe you.

Sobbing uncontrollably as you ran back to your room, you wrote to your mother about how you want a divorce, how you couldn't take the pain anymore.

You didn't have a choice when your father told you that you were getting married to the man you loved. Heck, you don't even know if you could have a divorce because you knew your father would get angry.

You eventually stopped doing all the things you once did for Ayato... He never asked for it, anyway, so he shouldn't mind them anymore.

"You're leaving?"

Ayato asked and you cursed at yourself for still feeling butterflies in your stomach, because you had to move on from him.

Without saying anything, you nodded, carrying a bag of your belongings as you passed by him to walk to the door. While your father disagreed with the divorce, your mother had suggested that you live in another home. At least the both of you are still married but not under the same roof.

"...Why?" His question almost made you scoff, turning to face him.

"Why do you care?"

"I don't—"

"That's what I thought," You turned around and said, "I won't be living here anymore."

He said nothing, and you got the message. You left and never looked back.

You could only wish you got the happy ending like the one in your dreams.

#♡.heather’s writings #♡.sfw #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin angst #genshin #genshin x reader #ayato #kamisato ayato #ayato x reader #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato angst #genshin impact x you #ayato x y/n #ayato x you

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jaysgirlx · 11 months

Note

Could you please write a dick grayson oneshot and make it angst with some fluff plsss

❝ 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍’𝐓 𝐃𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐘𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 ❞

❥ pairing: dick grayson x civilian f!reader

❥ summary: dick loves you so much and you know it but all the two of you do is fight and your last fight might've just been it for the two of you.

❥ warnings: major angst, accused cheating, mentions of depression and reader is aware dick is nightwing.

❥ wc: 1.4k

"Why were you there with him? He knows better than to take you out" Dick said as he angrily slapped his apartment door behind him. The loud echo only showed how angry Dick was.

"What's wrong with hanging out with Jason?” You said bitterly, he had been ditching you all month and now he wants to play boyfriend? “And if you're going to be upset with anyone make it me, I was the one who dragged him out for drinks"

"Why? Do I not spend enough time with you or do you just prefer my brother? You know he's dangerous for fucks sake"

You don't respond this time, while the tension between you two thickened. I'm so fucking done. This wasn't fair to you. Everything these days was always your fault. “Dick, I'm allowed to hang out with Jason he's my friend not just your brother,” you said with your arms folded across your chest.

These days it was almost as if he wanted you two to argue and fight more and more. It was only was 3 months ago that things were nearly perfect and now everything is a mess.

Is he this mad over Jason?

Your plan for tonight had been to drown your sorrow's in some vodka and when you told Jason he said was coming with you. Apparently, he didn't think it was a good idea for you to go to the bar by yourself so he followed. He didn't drink but he did listen to you rant about Dick being well a dick. You two had been laughing and sharing about Dick right before he showed up angry because you missed 10 of his calls.

Dick grunted with irritation, your response not only made him pissed but also slightly jealous. Since when were you and Jason so close? You kept defending him like you two were… "Are you defending him because you're fucking him? Is that it"

That sentence was your final straw. You'll never know what compelled you to punch him, maybe it was resentment you had for him or maybe the alcohol that reminded in your system. Tears were spilling from your eyes while Dick stumbled back recovering from that punch. "Fuck you, Grayson" He looked up at you holding his nose, you could tell he regretted saying anything but that didn't mean he didn't mean what he said “Love I didn't—”

“Don't Grayson, just don't” You wiped the tears away and grabbed your things, your phone, an already packed suitcase, and your wallet. Dick watched you like there was something to be said and he just couldn't say it. He wanted to stop you, pull you close to him, and beg for your forgiveness but in the end, this was what he wanted. Why hurt you all over again later in time when he could just get it over with? Like ripping off a band-aid. Except it's really stuck to your skin. "I'm going to stay with Steph for the time being while you get your shit together"

Before you could even hear what he said you left with what you took, it was long before you arrived at Steph's place a complete mess knocking on her door. "Y/n, what happened?" she said letting you inside. You wanted to speak but you didn't know how. The only words that left your mouth were, "I can't do this to myself anymore Steph, I think we're done for good after this."

~✧~

3 & 1/2 months later

"I can't do this anymore, Dick"

Those words rang in his head while, Dick Grayson stood in front of your apartment for other fifth time this month just staring at your door. He knew you were probably home, listening to music while you made breakfast for dinner. This was how he wanted his plan to go, he gets you to dump him and he protects you from afar. But that night hadn't been a part of his plan, he was angry. Jason may have been his brother but he wasn't always involved with the right guys and you...you could get hurt and he'd only blame himself.

He was a fucking coward and he was okay with that, as long as you were safe. For the last two months, he'd been trying to track your every move but it was as if you had quite literally disappeared off that face of the earth. After what Steph told him, he knew you didn't want him around, and why would you? Though he was upset with you, he should've never implied that you would cheat on him. He knew you wouldn't. You loved him and he clearly did not deserve your undying affection.

After what seemed like forever Dick realized the silence coming from your home while quite strange. Your walls were thin, he would know because your neighbors banned him from staying the night due to the activities you two very much enjoyed indulging in. He gently knocked at the door as in pushing it open. It was unlocked. His fists clenched at the sight of the broken lock that he hadn't noticed until now.

Forced entry?

He pushed open the door wide, your apartment was a mess but it was also empty. He checked your room, bathroom, and the guest room but you were gone. He looked around the room for something. something tangible he could trace back to find you. He searched your bedroom once more, finding a blood stained envelope on your dresser labeled "For Nightwing".

fuck fuck fuck.

This is exactly what he didn't want to happen. Your life was in danger because of him. His eyes roamed the blood stained, tightly sealed envelope, reading his name printed on it in Black. He didn't hesitate before tearing it open and reading its contents.

Dear Nightwing,

You might know me since it seems like your former lover here forgot to mention me. The best boyfriend she ever had, we were just so perfect for each other. But after she found out about the stalking and the murders, she got scared and ran to you and took her away from me. She said I was dangerous! Can you believe that?

You're more than just that, you are sick, deranged, and mentally insane.

It took me a while to put together that she was actually dating you and then I had to wait till the two of you broke up. The worst part is that when I tried to win her back after your "horrific" breakup she told me that she never wants to see my disgusting face ever again and that she only wanted to love you.

She still wanted to love me?

And that just made me so mad. So mad that I wanted to end her sweet life, but I took mercy on her and decided that I was going to have a little fun with the two of you. From the way I saw you treat her, you were willing to do almost anything for her. I am so upset that I spent my time on a whore that is still obsessed with the likes of you and I want an out. I want to leave Gotham and start a new life and for that I need money. A lot of it. After learning that you are Dick Grayson, an adopted son of the Bruce Wayne I just knew all this would work.

So Nightwing if you want your girlfriend back you have to pay the price. Here's how much I want: 5 billion, that should be reasonable enough.

Wire it to this account number xxxxxxxx under the name Roman Jennings and it's under this girl's address. Don't worry, I will wait as long as you're willing to take but now I'll have my fun with her. Let's hope she's not dead before I get what I want.

— X

Money? He wants fucking money?

He kidnapped you, the love of his life, just so he could have some money to run away like some pussy. Now Dick was not only pissed but ready to kill a man. He had hurt you to keep you safe but you were in danger and he had no clue what to do. Well...he knew what to do or rather who to call but he did't want to.

I am not calling him for money.

He grumbled and whipped out his phone to text him.

Dick: Father, hypothetically could you gather up Damien, Jason, Tim, Steph, Cass, and Barbra for me? For a late-night dinner perhaps?

Bruce: You only call me Father when you need something important. Did something bad happen?

Dick: Can you get them?

Bruce: Hypothetically, yes I could. What is going on Dick?

Dick: I'm coming to the Manor in about 10 minutes, please get them.

Bruce: Is it that bad?

Dick: Yes.

Bruce: I'll see you soon Dick.

This was going to be a long night...

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson #nightwing #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson x female!reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson imagine #nightwing x y/n #nightwing x you #nightwing x reader #dc x fem #dc x y/n #dc x you #dc x reader

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blingblong55 · 9 months

Text

Playing Pretend- König

Based on a request:

Hi i’m new to request but i want to request if you can do a reader x konig being parents for a day. They were assigned to do a silly task but it becomes a disaster. Thank you and i love your posts!! -🧸🎀

F!Reader, fluff,

A/N: I have no idea how to write a healthy family dynamic....sorry. Will be a quick one...

The past few months have been a blur since you entered KorTac. From solo missions to team missions to now this, playing pretend with your friend and teammate König. Connell, the name of the infant you and he had to take care of to pass as a family to gather intel. It was nerve-wracking, the infant cried and at times you and König planned on aborting the mission.

The first night was stressful, Connell slept through the night well, but you and König didn't know how to trust yourselves with the infant as it slept. König, slept 3 hours and you the other three. From almost midnight to 5 in the morning you both took turns sleeping. Three days into the mission to gather intel, you had created a schedule. From 11 at night to 2 in the morning he slept, from 2 to 5 am you slept, he'd give you more time to sleep and in the time he was awake he'd wake Connell up, make breakfast and then he would wake you up.

It was around 0530 when you woke up, Connell was running around, giggling as König chased him around the house you three pretend to have. "Dada! No!" Connell giggled as König finally caught him and started to tickle him. They were in the living room, trying to keep their laughter down because they thought you were asleep. Before the mission, Connell was told your names were Dada and Mummy. You two weren't too excited about this but whatever helped the mission. König stopped laughing once he saw you leaning on the doorway, It was rare to see your teammates especially him being so, domestic and father-like to the infant. You had seen him kill men in the field with such little effort.

2 months passed and you had gathered the intel necessary for the team. You three went back to base and said your goodbyes, König would be deployed to Asia, Connell would be sent to an orphanage in Ireland and you'd be stuck in base. When what was a dream ended, and you were all alone in your room at 3 a.m., you thought of the fun nights you had with König and Connell.

It was 1 a.m. when Connell woke you guys up. "Dada...I can't sleep.." his tiny voice and his tiny touches on König, woke him up. By then you two had gotten used to Connell and slept all through the night.

He and Connell were in the kitchen, drinking milk from the carton, König said something that made Connell giggle. "Oh dada, you are funny." Connell of the counter, looking up at the giant man. "Conny, you can't tell mummy about this okay?" Connell nods. It brings you warmth, a feeling of longing in your chest at this site. It was adorable how much König had bonded with the infant.

Four months later, König appears at your door, flowers in hand, "Liebling, I can't keep doing this, pretending you aren't who I want to be with." So he had been thinking of you, good to know. For days you two spent talking about the past four months, getting to know the other on more personal levels.

~6 Years later~

He was in the kitchen, with small giggles and light footsteps that ran from the heavier ones. You were in your shared bedroom, cat in arms as you stood up from the bed. As you approached, you saw the image you longed for years ago. Conny sitting on the countertop, König holding your newborn as he and Conny drank milk from the carton. He wanted you to rest, so he took the children out of the room so you could watch a show and relax.

"Mummy!" Conny smiles as he sees his mother. You and König wanted him to be a part of your family. You walked to Conny and kissed the top of his head. "Hey, I wanted you to rest." König's voice was soft. KorTac found Conny was still in the orphanage, they pulled some strings and hours later, he was brought in by Declan. You and he started a family by playing pretend, playing house...and now you get to have a life away from wars and guns.

You and him retired 1 year into having Connell as your child. He got a job as an instructor at the police academy, he became a housewife, and at times you too would give classes at the academy.

A/N: I literally have no clue if this makes sense...I might edit it later

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isa-loves-you · 8 months

Text

Telling People, You're a couple. | The Group Chat Head canons | Pt.2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Soft willy- you and nick have been dating for almost 2 months now. It's still crazy to you that you have this man, I mean come one look at him he is the definition of what everyone wants to be or be with. respectful, good height, nice built, the funniest person you have ever met, sweet and caring nick was all these things; which is why you were kinda scared of telling people you were a couple.

It's not like you were the most horrible person to look at but you in your mind you just thought you were okay nothing special just your average joe, but to nick you were the most beautiful person he'd ever met so of course he wanted to show everyone how special he is to have you in his life. Ever since you guys started dating he's been trying to get your approval to tell his fans but you still felt a little anxious on the idea so nicked eventually stopped asking to respect your decision.

One day you and nick were at a burger place eating lunch talking about his new album. “I don't know what I really want for the cover but I was kinda thinking if you would be able to pose for it?” Nick said looking hopeful at you “Nick I don't know, what if people connect the dots? I'm already on most of the tracks. It would be weird if I am also on the cover.”. He had to admit it would be kinda obvious but that was the whole point, he was happy that you were there to help accomplish the album and it would just be even more awesome if he got to see your face on the front of it all

“Here your refill sir” the waitress interrupted yours and nick conversation with a smile “oh thanks” “if you need anything, and i mean anything else just let me know” the waitress was basically eye fucking nick while saying her little beg of attention from nick. This mad you fucking livid like who does she think she is talking to a random man like this and in front of his girlfriend out of all people.

“Thanks but i'm good” Nick let out an uncomfortable laugh while trying not to look at her anymore. You had to admit this girl was pretty but you were definitely better looking than her and that's all you needed in the moment to make a decision that went against your words. “You know what?I will pose for the cover "what do i have to hide” for the rest of the day. Nick couldn't stop thanking you and asking if you were sure about this but you already agreed and can't go back on it now.

Two weeks later you and Nick were drinking and trying to think of all the different types of ways to take pictures. Since the songs on the album were based off of video games more specifically the games you could only play on the Nintendo DS you came up with the idea of taking them on a DS. After three hours later you and Nick finally captured the right picture to put on the album.

A couple of days passed, and Nick had posted the cover as a promotion which was the picture of you on a DS with a bold light blue font that read “Digital Dreams”.

(This is sorta what I was going for. obvious if you don't like it you can totally imagine something else. Also credit to whoever these beautiful people are , I am jealous.)

In the caption of the post Nick had credited all the people who worked on the album including you but did it a completely different way. “I also want to thank my amazing partner for helping me throughout the process and even being on the album front and in the song @ ur username i love you.”

You were surprised at the amount of people who were so supportive of you guys, of course there were some people who weren't, but you couldn't care. You were just happy that Nick was happy.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Larry- you were getting some food for you and Larry because he said he hasn't eaten all day. You and Larry have been dating for almost a month and it was the best thing that has happened to you in a while. Everyday with him was so much fun and the group was accepting of you for dating their friend.

You had gotten him and you something small because Nick and Tanner wanted you and Larry to go with them to dinner later but since Larry didn't eat you just grabbed something while you were out so he wouldn't be so hungry later. You had stepped into the house looking for Larry but he was in his room doing the podcast with the others.

You knocked on his door which he called out for you to open “dude you didn't have to do that thank you so much” “no problem it wasn't a bother to me”. You walked up to his desk to set the food down “hi everyone” you waved to all of the boys in the call which they waved back.

You stood there for a couple more minutes talking to them before you left to go be on your phone and leave them back with their work. Almost 45 minutes later Nick, Larry, and Tanner came out so you guys could go to dinner and have a fun night out.

You woke up the next morning in Larry's bed since you didn't want to drive home last night. You see Larry at his desk looking at the podcast comments, you walk up to him and put a hand on his shoulder “so do they love me” you let out a small laugh. “They love you alright, it seems like they love you more than me” “well in that case switch me jobs, i would love to make dumb jokes all day “. you guys shared a laugh and a few more while looking at the comments. You were glad that the people who loved him were happy that he was with you.

#isaacwhy #larry croft #softwilly x reader #tgc #the group chat #the group chat podcast #tooyumi #yumi #yumi tgc #yumi x reader #big t #larrycroft x reader

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deathlieteez · 7 months

Text

ATTENTION (3.2)

yunho x reader

♡ attention series masterlist ♡ ┋chapter 1┋chapter 2.1┋chapter 2.2┋chapter 3.1

chapter 3, part 2: (the grudge) the truce. yunho shows up at your house on friday night even when he told you he'd be busy, and his attitude tells you that something is definitely going on. you feel like he can talk to you through his hands, his kisses and the way he looks at you. he's decided to get you, for the first time since he broke your heart, showing a little more of your most sincere feelings.

appears: yunho as your exboyfriend x femb!reader + choi seungcheol (seventeen) as ur best friend.

genre: angst, smut, a little fluff. college au.

warning: unprotected sex (be careful hun♡), cursing, mean/heartbroken reader, heartbroken yunho, petnames, oral receiving (yunho)

word count: 6.8k (sorry)

intentional use of lowercase letter

english is not my mother tongue

songs i get inspired by: i hate u i love u - gnash + die for you - the weeknd ft. ariana grande + collide - justine skye ft. tyga + i feel like im drowing - two feet + creepin' - the weeknd + if you want love - nf + sorry, i love you - stray kids + we go down together - dove cameron ft. khalid

it is not meant to be representative of jeong yunho's personality or any ateez or another groups' idols who appeared ♡

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when friday night finally arrived, you were ready to go out. again, a tight dress hugged your curves gracefully, and together with your make-up gave you the femme fatale look you enjoyed building on. seungcheol looked you up and down several times as you finally came out of your room. it was the first time you didn't let him watch you change, and although it made him curious and a little confused, he didn't say anything, respecting your space and privacy. after all, you hadn't had sex for a while either, managing to subtly reject him, even though it was completely obvious to him. he didn't say anything about it either, because his friendship with you was much more important. however, once he could see your body move clearly under that revealing, skimpy piece of fabric, his head stopped cooperating for a moment, letting the part of him that wanted you to death speak once more "my god, you look beautiful" he mused, almost in a whisper as you walk towards him with a necklace in your hand that you're unable to put on by yourself, letting out a small laugh.

"so you like it?" seungcheol carefully pushes the hair away from your back, watching you cocking your head slightly unconsciously. the curve of your neck makes him swallow hard, imagining how amazingly good a few of nibbles and hickeys would look decorating your delicate skin, and that he would gladly make.

"love it" confesses, unfastening the chain effortlessly. you feel his hands slide down your bare arms from your shoulders next, his breath hot against your earlobe. you tensed slightly, even though it's actually a fairly familiar sensation. but lately can't help but mistake desire for guilt when you're not focusing your attention on yunho, much to your chagrin, so instead of being turned on, any contact with a man other than your fucking ex is repulsive to you.

cursing yourself under your breath, knowing there is very little to be subtle about now that you are alone and there is no obvious excuse or reason to stop something you both enjoyed so much not so long ago, "but think i would like it better lying on the floor" he whispers, "we don't have to go today" suggests then, the breath in your lungs preventing you from speaking, nor do you have the courage to turn around and ask him to stop running his hands down your sides, anticipating the feel of your bare skin. you felt really bad. cheol was your best friend and in bed he worked wonders, so there was no reason to say no. besides, in his eyes, you hadn't had sex for literally months, and he had been drooling over you for just as long, and the memory of your beautiful body writhing under his touch, the same one that made you so uncomfortable right now, "what are you saying, beautiful? i missed you like crazy" with the first kiss on the hollow of your neck, you can't take it anymore and finally turn around, abruptly moving away from him.

a lot has changed in you, in fact you'd swear that everything has, but you'd be lying - you were still a terribly faithful and devoted person. it seemed like that was one of your greatest virtues as well as a fucking curse, because losing your desire for any other guy but fucking jeong yunho was out of the question. but it was impossible to avoid it. his image came to your mind every time you even tried to dance with someone else, and when someone touched you, your skin practically burned with the desire that it was none other than yunho. at first you tried to silence all these thoughts, tried to silence all the voices in your head that told you it wasn't him, but after a while you decided to accept it, and so the number of times you saw yunho increased considerably, though neither of you complained. despite the fact that you had to be completely honest with yourself, and thanks to this dialog that was only going on with you in your head, the only time you really found this strange mania of having only yunho in your bed annoying was when it involved seungcheol.

although he never pressured you in any way, you saw the disappointment in his eyes every time you rejected him with excuses and sweet words. he told himself that it was okay, that being your friend was more than enough, and it was true, or it would be if you never stopped flattering him, touching him, and getting close to him as if could never refuse anything he had to offer. for you, this was just the nature of your relationship, and had not yet fully understood the strong sexual component hidden in your little games and frictions, so you never stopped them, and cheol never stopped thinking about you sexually. that's why when practically pushed him out of your atmosphere, with an uncomfortable smile on your face, which, by the way, was hell red, he could only ask, "am i missing something? did something wrong?" sounded slightly offended, although he tried to hide his frustration to not look childish, blaming you for not wanting to have sex with him anymore.

you sigh and close your eyes tightly as you mentally debate whether or not it's a good idea to tell him the truth. you knew that seungcheol would support you in whatever decided because he truly loved you, but after everything that happened you felt stupid and didn't know if you were strong enough to put into words what was going on. didn't care if yunho's friends knew, because their opinion seemed to be irrelevant to you, but your own friends… that's another story. obviously chaeyoung had deduced something from some hint you dropped from time to time, but the rest had no idea, and cheol made it clear at that moment, completely lost and frustrated "you didn't do anything wrong, cheolie" stammered, scratching the back of your neck in search of courage, "it's just that… there's something that…" you were about to say his name, about to put the relationship that had hurt you so much and over which you had cried so much with seungcheol himself back on the table, ready - or not so ready - to make a fool of yourself in front of the man who had warned you over and over again to kick him back to his fucking house if he came back. not only did you not kick him any of the times he came back, you went to his fucking house to look for him yourself, but as if you had said it, the doorbell rings, saving you for a few seconds from making a fool of yourself.

"i'll get the door, you keep trying to formulate a sentence that makes sense" he sneered, disappearing into the hallway for a moment. you heard the door open but nothing else, neither a greeting nor footsteps returning to the living room, so you asked who it was, raising a voice, "i don't think you need to explain anything to me anymore" seungcheol appeared around the corner of the hallway, his completely inquisitorial face peering out, both eyebrows raised and lips flattened into a thin line. you followed him with the worst feeling in your stomach, which was confirmed when you met yunho's slender figure in front of your door. his face was serious, had no doubt why, but could still see the anxiety lurking behind his gaze. without a word, he entered your apartment and bumped seungcheol with his shoulder, who laughed ungracefully and held his breath, trying to control himself when he looked at you.

"can we talk about this later?" you muttered, avoiding his gaze at all costs. he felt a pang of disappointment, no longer because he almost certainly knew what was going on - although anything to do with fucking yunho would have touched his balls just the same - but because you had kept it from him since god knows when. however, he said nothing more about it and just nodded, giving you the benefit of the doubt. kissed your forehead before saying "if anything happens, call me. i'll be here in a second" you smiled at him and gave him a gentle kiss on the cheek, encouraging him to leave.

you had something important to sort out at your house, you knew it just by looking at his face, without having to say a single word. after all, you've been close for years, so you knew yunho better than yourself, although now you can't be sure of anything. it was already past eleven o'clock at night, but you expected him to have spent the whole day with those "plans" that weren't with his friends, and apparently wouldn't let him spend the night with you, so were quite surprised, but not upset. you didn't mind arriving later than the others, you would soon catch up with them, you were much more curious as to why yunho was at your house. when you closed the door behind you, you could see your ex in an almost frantic state. he started pacing around the room, head down, staring at the floor as if searching for answers in the wood grain of the worn parquet, desperately trying not to make his point. without coming out of shock, you tried to talk to him "yunho, what are you doing here, is everything ok?" being careful not to be too harsh, maybe just a little distance, but make sure you didn't push his boundaries too much, not then he seemed to be completely gone.

"had to see you" confessed without any shame. indeed, the anxiety had already wreaked havoc on his nervous system, and when you approached him, knew that the alcohol had been there as well. you rubbed your face with both hands, worried on the inside, tired on the outside. "what didn't expect was to see him" he growled, again uncensored. he knew for sure that it would never be a good idea to bring seungcheol into the conversation, because you would defend your friend tooth and nail, but he didn't care at that moment. all yunho wanted to do was see you. he needed to touch you, smell you, hear you, have you close to him. he was lucky to find you still at home because he didn't want to do it surrounded by a bunch of sweaty people with the frantic rhythm of a song in the background that would force him to dance. he wanted intimacy, once again.

you are sincere this time, making his eyes travel to yours for the first time, raising one of his eyebrows, unsure if he heard right. he looked so pitiful at that moment that you tried to comfort him, even if it was with lies? more than pitiful, in your eyes he looked defeated. something you had always been very good at, from the moment you met him, was reading him. you knew when he was happy, sad, excited, horny, hurt… and of course, defeated. you'd only seen him like that once in your whole life, but that day, which was nothing else than the day everything went to shit between you, stuck in your mind and with it yunho's expression. how he watched you walk away, without being able to do anything but look away, unsettled him second by second; oddly enough, he looked exactly the same at that moment. although apparently everything would be a matter of time that night.

"i shouldn't care, should i?" he let out a bitter laugh and dropped his body onto your couch, his legs spread wide and his head resting on the back with his eyes completely closed. you hated to admit it, but you were genuinely worried about him, so you were frustrated because you didn't know how to try and help him without giving him the fucking privilege of seeing that you still cared about his fucking well being. you took a deep breath and followed him to the couch, sitting carefully across from him on the little cafe table.

"no, u shouldn't" you state, yunho sighs.

"why do you have to make everything so fucking complicated?" he suddenly says, confusing you even more "why can't you just be a normal girl? talk about fucking feelings, learn to forgive, not act like you don't give a shit about everything" he growls, this time rubbing his face "i'd love to understand how i got to fuck with your head so much, or maybe you were already like that before i met you" he thinks out loud, making you laugh. he had a certain reason that it would be stupid to deny: you didn't have an answer for that either. the ideas in your mind confused reality and fiction every time, involuntarily, the logic in your head tried to make sense of what was still going on with yunho. when you looked at your reflection in the mirror once you kicked him out of the house, who you saw was not yourself. sometimes felt that you were playing a role, that what you were doing had only a childish and - a bit - cruel purpose, but then you found yourself comfortable and strong in your new skin, enjoying the way yunho came back to you again and again, and, damn, you loved how he needed you, so much that, maybe, you started to need him too. that's why, and for your own pride, you always used to opt for keeping your composure, for keeping that role.

your laughter is not subtle, but thunderous and full of sarcasm, which gets his attention again. he leans back on the couch to see your smile, which actually hides a terrible desire to punch him in the face with an open hand. licking your lower lip, you lean forward and close the distance a bit, showing a little more of your cleavage - obviously yunho is quick to take a first look "m going to be nice to you, whether you deserve it or not, and 'm going to shut the fuck up because i can see u're really fucked up" your voice is soft, doing a great job of controlling yourself, something you've perfected over time thanks to him "but don't know how far my patience will go, so if you just came here to spew bullshit out of your mouth, can go tell it to yourself in the mirror.

yunho's gaze sharpens on you, feeling the blood in his body begin to rush hard through his veins as his heartbeat increases. the memories of a few hours ago come flooding back to his mind: smiles, caresses, promises. with you now, all he gets is sarcasm and sourness. yet for some twisted reason that eludes his logic, he wants more. he was tired of always wanting more than you could offer, even if it was just that condescension and coldness, followed by a few kisses and a fuck. he suffered like a fool, but was addicted to you, and seeing the person you were now, he didn't understand why. A nasal laugh anticipates the movements of his body, which is already attracted to yours as if you were a big magnet and he a weak and light piece of metal. he enjoys seeing you, smelling your perfume and almost feeling your aggressive but attractive fucking attitude penetrate his head. you enjoy it too. you enjoy how his gaze moves quickly around all the corners of your face, taking longer to notice your lips, your cleavage and your naked thighs. You enjoy how he takes the initiative to get closer to you. and you enjoy it even more when you hear him say the following: "i came to see you because it's you who fucked me to the core," he growls again, carelessly placing the palm of his hand on your thigh, covering it almost effortlessly. tightening his grip, you tilt your head to the side with an unfriendly smile on your face.

"if you don't like it, just go" you say, while being absolutely sure that yunho wouldn't do that. he couldn't leave you, because he needed you as much as you needed him. a grin appears on his face, but it is far from being sweet. his tongue runs along his lower lip, grabbing your wrist to pull you towards him, pulling you effortlessly, because you would let yourself be carried away by whatever yunho could offer you. that was the only truth, one that you would never admit and that you would take with you as a secret confession, but he was still the only person in the world who could make you feel so much and so intensely with so little. a look, a touch, a kiss, even a word. in the same second, you could hate him with all your heart and crave him as if he were your last meal. you also missed him deeply when he was gone, because obviously bringing your ex back after living together for so long had consequences. weren't sure how you felt about him, but what you did know was that you weren't interested in finding out, focusing all your efforts on keeping your cool as much as you could - which was too much for yunho - and not letting anything resembling the word love come up again, because it was obvious that you still resented him deeply.

when you are close enough, he doesn't need much to pull you from your hips and make you sit on his lap. you put both hands on his shoulders for support, while he caresses the line of your sides over the fabric of your new dress. for a few seconds, you remain silent, eyes fixed on each other, like trying to speak without saying a word. however, you don't quite understand what's happening, why suddenly yunho looks and feels completely different. his gaze on you is somehow different, something you've never seen in him before. "you don't want me to go" his voice is soft and rough, as if he's trying to hypnotize you with a melody similar to the hamelin flute. another battle raged inside you: could you be honest again and let yourself be carried away by a side of yunho you seemed to be getting to know at that moment, or continue with the role.

was it right to give in even a little to someone who had broken your heart? despite what he might think, you felt weak in his arms because you knew for a fact that you shouldn't be there. but there was something about the way he touched you that kept you coming back. it was probably an obsession, a dark desire that he would never leave your sheets, no matter how badly you treated him, no matter how he made you feel. told yourself that you deserved to have him and that he deserved everything you did, like it was your personal sweet revenge. but moments like that, when he looked at you as if he knew your every secret and still wanted to discover you beyond the layers of clothes and skin he always ended up exploring, moments when it wasn't just desire you read in his pupils, when you could still read love and admiration in his eyes… moments like that made you vulnerable to him.

"you've done it so many times before, sweetie" without giving in to the pang in your chest and the need to tell him he was right your words echoed bitterly through yunho's head with an infinite echo. you yourself could see his face darkened slightly. and then he didn't know exactly what he had come to do beyond satisfying his thirst of you- he felt different, things were changing and there seemed to be no return, so he hoped, foolishly, that you could understand him by the way he had come to you that day, because that's the kind of connection he always trusted you two shared. he didn't really know what he was surprised about or what he was waiting for. you don't want me to go, he said it more to himself than to you. he needed to hear you say it. ask him to stay, because if not… he was afraid he wouldn't (want) be able to come back.

he squeezed his eyes shut as he thought of her again. short brown hair that made her look so adorable against the roughness of your figure; her beautiful smile full of promise, empathy and compassion; her slender, slim body that felt so delicate under his huge hands and that he had been able to enjoy almost completely just a few hours ago. only one thing stopped him from devouring the sweetest girl he had ever met after you, and that was exactly you. he felt like he would be letting you down if he just did it, and felt like the dumbest person in all of south korea because was - wrongly - sure that you were still fucking around, especially with choi damn seungcheol. so when he apologized to her for not going all the way, came to you like a madman. the taste of her lips was still present on his, just like her perfume was still on your ex's skin, but you were so lost in what you already knew that you didn't notice any of it. for you, seeing him close his eyes was a sign of pain, but the reality was that he wasn't even thinking about you.

his hands left your body to cup your face this time, caressing it with his thumb as he slowly opened his eyes to meet yours. you were confused and he could see it clearly, loving to see you like this, finally a little more vulnerable. he enjoyed it as much as it tortured him. sighed softly before he said, "when i've really done it, u're going to miss me" another overwhelming truth that made your chest tighten at the thought, but again you didn't let him know that he had hit the key. what would happen when this was over? you didn't want to think about it. just the thought of it, awakened a new wave of desire and need in you, to hold him close, to taste him. you tried to move closer to him, to finally join your lips, but he stopped you "so beautiful" he whispered "it hurts just to look at you" with the words coming straight from his throat, you swallowed, soaking in a new sensation under his touch. "and we fit so well together" he left your cheeks to lower one of his hands to your waist while he outlined your face with the other. aware of his own movements, he left a soft kiss on your chin, "your all drive me crazy" as his fingers trailed down your skin, a trail of wet kisses erasing the path he had drawn with his touch. felt your chest shrink as your panties soaked with each new contact of his lips. you had no idea what he was up to, nor how it made you feel, but there was no way you were going to stop him. "if you had asked, i would have done anything for u, know that, right?" he looked at you again, this time sinking his fingers into the bare skin of your thigh as his words penetrated your head. you didn't want to say anything anymore, afraid to break whatever it was doing to you.

yunho was pushing the boundaries you had set for him and would be lying if he said he wasn't surprised you allowed it, but was glad you didn't stop him as he worshipped you for a damned long time. it was as if it was written in the stars, probably the most opportune day for you to let him show something beyond a hard cock and how good he could make you feel with his body. felt like saying goodbye to him, even though you couldn't recognise what was happening. your eyes moved silently to his lips as he spoke his words to you, and yunho felt his heart ache as he watched you wanting him in a different way. you respected what he desired at that moment, which was nothing more than to worship you, and it felt slightly as if time had not passed. nostalgia overcame him and he had to fight back the tears in his heart at the memory of a sweeter version of you, madly in love with him and not heartbroken because of him. he would have given anything to keep you like that forever, to freeze the vague feeling of recovery, to satisfy the grief that tormented him for having lost you.

it was an idea he had recently accepted. he had lost you, and the one who was with him so many nights these last months was not you, it was the memory of you, a mere shadow that could only comfort him for a while, because you no longer wanted him. because yunho was sure that there was no more room for him in your heart, so he decided that for his own sake he should leave you behind, though not yet. "do you want to kiss me?" asked with a trembling voice, and you nodded without taking your eyes off his mouth, which was smiling slightly. he didn't want to prolong it either, so he finally let his lips caress yours first, gently, letting his breath creep down your throat as a foretaste of his own tongue, which attacked your mouth as soon as you could really feel it. hands travelled down your back until they reached the zip of your dress, letting it fall gently through your skin, using his hands to remove the fabric from your shoulders, following the same path that seungcheol had just followed. the difference was that it felt good now. it was good because it was yunho who was touching you.

you didn't know what was different this time, but your skin reacted to it by making even the hairs on your body stand up, causing yunho to smile in the kiss as he brushed the skin on your arms. oxygen was getting scarce, but you didn't care, you wanted to go on, you wanted to devour him in the sweetest way possible "seems you missed me" the voice is soft against your lips, but you stand firm with the little conviction you have left, at least until he asks you to "tell me, please" resting your forehead on his, closed your eyes tightly, gathering the courage to confess.

"yes" you whispered, "thought i wouldn't see you today" he was still looking at you, still holding on to the memory of your awkwardly made-up eyelashes, with an extra black lump that curved upwards as if they had no end, the curve of the bridge of your nose and the way your cheekbones outlined your pretty face. yunho wanted you to open your eyes, but you were still too cowardly.

"that bothered u?" he whispered, stroking your hair "not being able to see me today" you nod, breathing deeply with your lips sealed. don't know why, but a handful of tears threaten to leave your eyes, so you pushed them shut tight before opening them. his were full of tears too, along with something that, again, you couldn't identify mixed with a very, very sweet smile "so you want me to be here" he says and you nod again, as if you've forgotten your role and even how to articulate a word.

for yunho it was enough. he had got what he wanted, as if he finally reached the end of a very complex book, as if he had discovered you. but even though he was satisfied, he wasn't well. he was sad, and he knew that even if his whole body asked him to kiss you again, which he certainly would, it wouldn't be the solution. despite knowing this, his lips met yours briefly before the kisses traced a new path down your skin, your chin, then your body and finally your breasts, exposed as the fabric of your dress fell over your hips. used both hands to lift the skirt of your dress, exposing your underwear, which he immediately removed so that you could feel for the first time the mess he had made of you, just with his kisses and his words. at this point yunho wanted to taste you as soon as possible, and he could just fuck you and satisfy the bulge that was already growing painfully under the cloth of his trousers, but would be missing a wonderful opportunity to enjoy you. looked up at him almost anxiously, tilting your body back slightly, leaning on your arms on the small table so you could spread your legs for yunho. he dug his fingers into the skin of your thighs, leaving wet kisses on the inside, and made his way to your cunt. with his teeth he pulled your lingerie aside and licked your clit without waiting, making you sigh. you trembled at the sensation, as if you hadn't fucked him the day before, as if you hadn't seen him for ages. yunho increases the strength in his grip on your thighs before he releases one of them and you use his fingers inside your completely flooded hole, smiling with pleasure as he hears a moan catch in your throat when he slips two fingers in at once. he knows your body, knows how to make you see the fucking stars and is doing it when you've only just started.

he abused your hole with his fingers, licking your clit like it was his last meal, and you were embarrassed even by the amount of moaning and pleading that came from your lips as you felt your orgasm unfold in the pit of your stomach. buried one of your hands in his hair, pressing it against your pussy while fucking his mouth with your hips. yunho fought against everything in his goddamned being not to fuck you right then and there, deciding to make you come in his mouth before he fucked you senseless "fuck, fuck, fuck" the pitch of your voice is quite high, unable to contain yourself. yunho's tongue flicks harder than thought possible, you try to push him away at the overwhelming sensation of your orgasm, but he sinks his head hard between your legs until a deep moan leaves your throat and you breathe again, albeit unsteadily, as you cum in your ex's mouth. yunho, without any regrets and swearing he could only cum from the scene he's just experienced and your completely banged up image, licks every drop, tasting you.

your hot body glistening in a thin layer of sweat, your chest rising and falling as you try to catch the breath you didn't know you were holding. shit, you were amazing to him. from another fucking world. "that was…" you mumble, unable to find words good enough. yunho grins at you again, this time full of pride, and stands up to kiss you, giving you a taste of your essence. he moans against your lips as he feels your hand on the bulge in his pants, on the verge of tears from the need to sink into you.

"drop my pants the fuck down" he growled, making you laugh, but obeyed without hesitation. you unbuckled his belt in the middle of the kiss, not without difficulty, then took over his buttons and pulled them down roughly, eliciting a moan from deep in his throat that he stifled by biting down a little harder on your lower lip. "to bed," he demanded.

"how about we end it here? i don't want to wai-" you try to sound seductive, but his voice, so much harder and deeper than yours, cuts you off.

"today i'm gonna fuck you in bed" he demands again, forcing you to get up. you start to walk in front of him, jumping a little when you feel his hand hit your ass. you're not surprised by the act itself, because actually yunho has always been like this, but he hasn't been like this with you for a long time. he liked to feel you, to play with you, to show you that every part of you pleases him at every moment, and to touch your ass and then hug you from behind and kiss your shoulder gently, as if he hadn't just finished eating your pussy was part of his love language.

"and these urges, where do they come from?" asked with a hint of amusement in your words. when finally reached your room, yunho pushed you onto the bed and climbed on top of you, resting his knees on either side of your hips. the corners of his lips were also raised, showing an amused grimace.

"i want you to think of me tomorrow when you wake up" he confessed, kissing your lips briefly, "and whenever you go to bed" another little kiss.

"we've fucked here tons of times" you said, raising your eyebrows.

"today is going to be so much better," he whispered against your lips, coming within inches of your face as he removed his boxers. you helped him with the shirt, revealing his slightly toned but mostly slender torso, his smooth, almost porcelain skin and his incredibly broad shoulders. you ran your hands over his skin, admiring him for the first time in a long time. yunho didn't know if the tears he felt caking his chest were from happiness or sadness.

"you're amazing too, yuyu" with your words, yunho closed his eyes again, like he was trying to remember your voice as you confessed your biggest secret to him. now it was your turn to appreciate how incredibly beautiful his face was. his naturally shaped, beautiful pink lips, his big, slanted eyes, closed and adorned with hundreds of eyelashes, the straight bridge of his nose or the hot way his hair stuck to his dirty skin with sweat, even though he hadn't even fucked you properly yet. you cupped his face with both hands to bring your lips together again, "what are you waiting for? make me miss you every time you're not here" his eyes snapped open, taking a few minutes to stare at you almost in disbelief before his gaze focused on you and a confident grimace crossed his face.

what the fuck was that and why did you have to tell him that night? it was as if you suddenly knew what was about to happen, even though in reality you were just letting yourself go for the first fucking time. he aligned his cock, hard to the point of pain, with your entrance and let out a little laugh in anticipation of the first thrust. he didn't bother to be gentle, ramming you again and again, hitting your g-spot and making you moan each other's names like a mantra, bringing you together in a frenzy you hadn't felt in a long time. yunho watched as you arched beneath him, your eyelids shut tight and your hands lost behind his back, digging your nails into his skin as you moaned and cursed at how good it felt. there was nothing different about his actions; he wasn't fucking you differently, he wasn't kissing you differently or even touching you in new ways, what made him better than ever was that you were allowing feelings to creep in beyond pure pleasure and that was taking you so much higher without you even knowing it.

just like yunho, who melted into you every time you groaned his name as if it was the only word in your vocabulary. he placed his hands on your hips and deepened his cock inside you, making you tremble. he knew by the way your walls absorbed it that you were close, so he made sure to stimulate your clit as well. "why do you always feel so incredibly good, jagiya? " he whimpered over your lips "even more stunning when my cock is stuffing you. look at that, when did u become so needy?" your chest rose and fell with difficulty as you felt your orgasm approaching for the second time with the help of his fingers and his voice "you're the best thing i've ever seen in my whole fucking life" as you arched your back and got another access to your insides, yunho had to restrain himself not to screw it up. not to say something that had always stuck in his throat, from the first day until today, and that he feared forever, even though he didn't want to "going to cum, aren't you, beautiful?" he grunted instead, bringing his free hand to the curve of your neck and squeezing lightly. you nodded with tears running down your cheeks, feeling yourself getting closer and closer "cum on my cock, jagiya, 'm close too" with his words, you pushed his face to yours with both hands to kiss him again.

you savoured his mouth with your tongue for a few more minutes before you moaned loudly against his lips, absorbing his cock with your walls like there was no tomorrow, pushing him into his own orgasm as well.

after a few seconds he dropped his body next to you and quickly wrapped you in a hug. you were so close, in such a different way, that you were afraid that even yunho could hear your heartbeat, which was beating particularly fast, not only from the recent orgasm, but from the way he felt it on your skin. he kissed your forehead and it was then that you dropped practically all your barriers and lay down on his side so that you could hug him tightly as well. yunho bites his lower lip, wanting to cry out all the things he's feeling right now, completely lost in you, while you sink your head into the hollow between his chest and neck. it's just then that you notice a new scent on his skin. a sweet, floral, distinctly feminine one. and it wasn't yours. fatigue grows in your stomach and you gasp for air, wondering if it's just your imagination, if your brain is playing tricks on you because you gave in to yunho. whether it's true or not, you wanted to cry at that moment too. "can i stay tonight?" his voice was almost a plea, and for a moment you thought you understood what was going on.

with fear forming a lump in your throat, feeling too much and trying not to ask if it was true what had just crossed your mind, you answered him "please".

that night, when yunho didn't let go of you for a single second, you wished with all your heart and soul that time would stand still. that this bed, which suddenly felt so much like home when he held you between the sheets, would hold you forever. it was a terrible feeling and it burned like hell, but you let yourself be caught up in it, at least for that night. you let yourself fall for him and for everything he made you feel, even if didn't want to name it, just for that night. yunho didn't feel much different from you, only he could recognise how he felt about you. he still loved you, and he always had. but you hurt him, and he knew that the truce you had signed today would not last beyond next morning. it was necessary, it had to be like this. because he had made a deal with someone else, and because you didn't deserve him to break that promise for you. so as soon as the first drops of light came through your curtains, yunho left your house. he kissed your forehead in tears and stayed for a few minutes to watch you sleep, to imprint your image on his retina, before he walked out the door for the last time, again without saying goodbye, denying you the chance to see him suffer for you once more.

when you wake up a few hours later, the first thing you notice is his absence. you sigh, feeling empty and blaming yourself for letting him spend the night. when you pick up your phone, among several messages from chaeyoung, blaming you anyway because she knows exactly why you didn't show up at the party, there's one from yunho.

see you tonight.

hi thereeee. im so sorry for the late, but i am really busy these days with college and i have any time for writting or doing anything else than studying :( in this part i think i've gone tooooo much, but i cant help myself and this is only the aftertaste to the last part (which is already written, just need to be translated).

hope u enjoyed and see u soon, lots of loveee ♡

☆tags☆ @yeosangsbb @atinyluv238 @livingdeadlisa @kunikku

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘ ♡ ⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

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steviesbicrisis · 1 year

Text

Part 1 | Part 2

[TW: internalized homophobia | compulsory heterosexuality | homophobic slurs | domestic abuse | child abuse]

Change doesn’t happen overnight. The day after his talk with Chrissy, he had woken up with a hangover and the instinct to pack his bags and run away.

He hadn’t.

He stayed home and slowly dealt with the consequences of what Chrissy had made him realize.

He would’ve never asked her to stay friends after everything but she did anyways. Eddie tried to rely on her the least possible.

Eddie wasn’t ready to talk about his issues when he reached out to Steve. He had just missed him too much and, sensing that figuring his shit out would’ve taken a long time, he didn’t want to wait as long to have Steve in his life again.

Eddie didn’t mention seeing him in the parking lot, his talk with Chrissy, or the million questions that bombarded his head daily. He had apologized sincerely, and that had been enough for Steve.

A few weeks after their fight, Eddie is hanging out with his group of friends again. His friends and Mark, the guy he had seen Steve with.

It’s awkward, to say the least, Robin needs the whole evening to warm up to him again, and by Mark’s snarky comments he’s pretty sure that the guy hates him. It’s okay since Eddie kinda hates him too.

«He's an asshole,» Jonathan tells him as soon as they have a moment alone, giving him a knowing look «but Steve likes him for some reason, so we're all enduring his presence.»

It’s not easy, being around Steve while he’s aware of his feelings, trying to overcome the idea of being disgusting and wrong, and digging into his past to find out that, like almost every issue in his life, the rotten root comes from his dad.

But time is kind to him, and after repeating to himself again and again that there’s nothing wrong with him, he starts to believe it. He relives his homophobic conversations with his father until he becomes numb to them. He watches Steve being with Mark until there’s no rage left, just sadness.

Everything fades away with time, except his feelings for Steve.

——

One day, Eddie is finally ready to come out to Steve.

It’s not planned. He had been fantasizing about that moment in the last months but never had the courage to do it. Then, as he was going home after work, he changed routes and ended up in front of Steve’s apartment building.

They’re smoking on Steve’s small balcony. It’s a cold night but Steve hates to have the smell inside.

Steve has sensed he is there to tell him something, so Eddie just cuts to the chase.

«I’m gay.»

«Oh- uhm, what? I mean that’s great! Uh- no like, cool! I’m totally cool with it, well obviously… but I’m also, confused? What about Chrissy? And you know, the other stuff that-»

«Don’t hurt your head too much, pretty boy» he says, smirking. He knows he shouldn’t call him that nor enjoy his blush when he has a boyfriend, but he can’t help it. Months of pining and repressed feelings really do some damage to your brain.

He tells him about everything (minus being in love with him, for obvious reasons): the talk with Chrissy, the realization that he had never liked any of the girls he had been with, the jealousy he had for Steve because he had seen him being so happy with something that Eddie subconsciously thought he could never have.

«And there’s my dad. You know, among the fucked up things he did, I didn’t think about this one as much as I have in the past months. I guess I was repelling it. But uh-» Eddie stops for a second. This wasn't part of the plan, he had decided to come out, give Steve the explanation he deserved months ago and just mention that his dad was an asshole. He had never told this to anyone either, not even Chrissy. The hand holding his cigarette starts to tremble.

One look at Steve is enough for him to calm down. He's staring back at him, he looks ready to change the subject if he can't talk, hold him if he falls, hug him if he cries. Eddie feels safe.

It's almost impossible, how much I love him, Eddie thinks for a second, before taking a big breath.

«One night he came home drunk and called for me. He was completely out of it, barely walking straight, but wanted to tell me about the two fairies he had found that night and beaten the shit out of. He was so proud of himself. I remember his knuckles were red and scraped and he had me locked under his arm as soon as I was close enough. He was telling me how disgusting those two fags were and how they deserved every single punch and kick. I couldn’t breathe. He was so strong and big compared to me, I was just a fucking kid. I guess I zoned out, maybe I was trying to get away- don't remember - and next thing I knew, he was pining me against the wall, his forearm on my neck. He kept asking me if I was a fag too but I could barely breathe, let alone answer his stupid fucking question. He asked again and again and again but I couldn't talk. I stayed there, barely breathing, until he was basically screaming in my face that if I ever turned out queer, he would’ve killed me.»

Only after he finishes talking he realizes how close Steve had gotten, completely pressed on his side, his arm rubbing Eddie's back, knowing how physical contact calms him down.

«His screams had woken up my uncle. He pushed my father off of me and took me away. I've been living with Wayne since then.»

Steve squeezes him as close as he can in a half-hug «Eddie I’m sorry, that piece of shit- you didn’t deserve any of it, I’m so sorry you had a shitty father like him.»

«Don’t be, please. Having a homophobic dad isn’t an excuse for being an ass. And this happened a long time ago, I shouldn’t let him have this much power over me. And yet I couldn't accept who I am because of him, or accept you.»

Steve is conflicted between getting mad at Eddie's father for everything he has put him through and hugging him impossibly tight until all his worries and bad memories are squeezed out of him. But he also knows Eddie well enough to know that, most of all, he feels bad about what happened between them. He wants to fix that first.

«I called Jonathan “queer” once, before we became friends» he admits, without looking at Eddie «I was an ass, I wanted to hurt him and I thought nothing could've been worse than calling him that. Knowing who I am now doesn't excuse how I acted but I've learned to accept it. A part of me will never forgive myself for it but I know I am better now.»

Eddie wants to protest and say that it's not the same thing, that what he did to Steve was worse since they've been best friends for a long time. But the idea of not being alone, of Steve having gone through a similar path, makes him feel a little better. He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes, wondering if he will ever be able to overcome the guilt and prevent the memory of his father from making him mess up his life even more.

They stay outside, Eddie still squeezed into Steve's embrace, enjoying the quiet between them.

Eddie feels uncomfortable only when he remembers that technically Steve is cuddling with him when he has a boyfriend, so he has to ask «so, how’s your boy? Honestly, I was afraid to crush one of your dates tonight.»

«I broke up with him.»

Eddie turns to look at him, finding Steve's face already in his direction, very close because of their position.

«Holy shit, really? Why?» Eddie tries not to smile but fails.

«He was kind of an ass. Constantly talking about college and he making me feel bad just because I’m not as smart as him. Guess you were wrong, nerds are not my type» he jokes.

«Oh for fuck's sake! You, not smart? he must be the dumbest idiot on this planet for thinking any less of you just because you didn't go to college. And did you hear him talk to Henderson? He could barely keep up with the kid, something you excel at. And as far as I know, that brat is smart as fuck.»

Steve smiles back at him «I know that he was talking bullshit but it's nice to hear that. Thank you.»

Maybe it's the way Steve's looking at him, maybe he doesn't want to waste the chance now that they're both single and in a better place, but Eddie dares to be hopeful.

«That asshole wasn’t a nerd, by the way. He was book-smart at best. You need an actual nerd, like Nancy, Robin or… me» Eddie's voice trembles by the end.

He watches Steve's reaction carefully.

«Oh, really?» Steve's trying to maintain some composure but there's something extremely fond in the way he's looking at Eddie. He dares to hope a little more.

«Yeah» his mouth goes dry, he coughs «a nerd who doesn't make you feel bad because you didn't go to college. Honestly, nerds who are into fantasy games are the coolest ones.»

Steve leans even closer to him «since I need someone who doesn't care about academic achievements, I should go for someone who has failed senior year, let's say... at least twice, don't you think? And the only fantasy game I tolerate is D&D, that is not negotiable. Do you think I'll be able to find someone who fits the job description?»

Their faces are only a few inches away from each other. They're both trying to keep their cool but Eddie feels so happy, so full of love for the man next to him that he can't help but chuckle a little, Steve joining him immediately after.

They kiss with a smile still on their lips, and they break the kiss because they can't stop smiling and giggling. After all the hardships they went through in the past months, they had no idea they could feel as happy and complete as they feel on that tiny balcony on a cold November night.

AN: aaand that's a wrap! I cannot thank you enough for reading and giving me feedback for this little thing. I went a little out of my comfort zone and I hope I did not disappoint anyone! Please let me know what you think. Also sorry again for the emotional damage of thinking Eddie could've actually been straight LMAO Also also, 1 like = 1 fuck you Mark | 1 reblog = 1 fuck you Eddie's dad

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Tag list: @funnymagicman-named-dandy @manda-panda-monium @hobbitharrington @lightwoodbanethings @minjintea @ilive4irony417 @sapphirecobalt-1 @kerlypride @bornonthesavage @cr0w-culture @vampireinthesun @samcoxramblings

#i told you he wasn't straight #am i forgiven #it got better at the end #i told you!!#steddie #steve harrington #bi steve harrington #gay eddie munson #steve and eddie #eddie munson #stranger things #steve x eddie #platonic stobin #steddie ficlet #internalized homophobia #compulsory heterosexuality #sbc writes #ficlets

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hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall · 3 months

Text

Sweet past - ch.2

Summary: You and Joel catch up, trying to avoid the crucial topic. It doesn't always work.

Pairing: dbf!Joel x reader

Warnings: mention of death, foul language, angst.

AN: This will be angsty for a while, so buckle up...

Masterlist Chapter 1

He did indeed stock you up. He brought you some coffee, sugar, and milk. You smiled softly at the way he remembered how you drank it. There was some food and soda as well. Typical Joel. Always worrying about everyone he deemed close. And when you thanked him, he waved his hand at you, dismissing the nice gesture.

“Here,” he nodded, thanking you for the coffee. You were both sitting at the table in the kitchen. A four-people, oval, little table that your mom has chosen for a morning coffee. You were happy to see it was still there. “How are you? How's Sarah?” Were you postponing the talk? Sure, but it wasn’t anything anyone would want to talk about. Ever.

“Sarah is well. She's at Uni, doing her big girl things.” You chuckled softly at that. “She's fucking smart, you know? I don't know where she gets it from.” He jokes and you roll your eyes.

“You still don't give yourself enough credit.” He raised his brow, but you kept your ground. It was astonishing how someone like Joel fucking Miller was not able to see how incredible he was.

A single father that has raised his daughter into not only an amazing, strong woman but a damn good human being. He was able to create his own company with his brother while being a single parent. And on top of that, he was such an amazing friend to your dad and a great supporting system for you. He was your biggest friend and you were never embarrassed to call him that.

“And you are still as sweet as I remember” He winked at you, trying to switch the tone of the conversation a bit. He took a deep breath and you frowned seeing him getting nervous. “I kind of adopted a girl…” your eyes widened, almost spitting a coffee you just took a sip of. “Her name is Ellie and she's 15. It's a long story for another day, but yeah, at least I'm not alone since Sarah left.” You smiled at that, happy that he had it going on for him.

“Maybe I should not have left him alone then…” you didn't know where that came from. It was you who started the topic of Joel's life not to talk about it and yet here you were.

“Don't do that, kid,” Joel murmured, looking at you with the same softness you missed so much. “You left because you needed to. He made you leave. And if you want my opinion, it was a good thing you did. He was able to stand back on his own two feet. You, leaving? It gave him a boost to realize it was the time to stop being a jerk.”

“I hear ya, Joel.” You muttered, your voice shaky with emotions. “I know I had a reason for leaving, but I can't stop thinking if he would still be…” you choked on your words and closed your eyes to get back in control. “I sent him money every month. I told him I'll stop if he comes back to drinking… I didn't want him to think he was nothing but a bother to me. I thought I would be able to help him.”

“You did help him”

“He's fucking dead!” You shouted, standing up from the table, ignoring the chair falling. You knew you were being unfair toward the man in front of you, but the imaginary barrier that was blocking your feelings had finally slipped. “He's dead because I was too proud and left a man in need alone! What kind of a daughter does that? Tell me Joel!” Heavy, angry tears were running down your cheeks. “He hated me so much that he didn't even tell me he was sick!” Before you were able to do anything else, you were pulled into the strong and always protective arms of his best friend. His hand on the back of your back, softly patting it, kissing the side of your head. “I'm so fucking selfish!” You continued, so angry at yourself. Your fingers clenched into the fabric of his shirt. “You lost your best friend. And you have been nothing but supportive all my life and I'm such a bitch!” Joel chuckled softly and his hug tightened.

“You're neither selfish nor a bitch!” He took a step back and looked into your eyes. His were so soft and supportive, it made you sob a bit more. “You're human and that is normal. But…” his voice got stern and you swallowed, thinking you had done something really bad. “Try not to use that language in front of Sarah and Ellie. Especially Ellie.” You raised your brow and for the first time since he called, you laughed. The way his expression changed, he looked like a typical tired single father of a teenage girl.

“She's giving you trouble?”

“Don't even get me started…” He pulled you towards the couch in the living room. Pushing the touchy subject just a little bit further away, he ordered some pizza and told you all about how Ellie became such a huge part of his and Sarah's life.

***

“She seems delightful!” You chuckled at the story Joel told you. Ellie was most definitely a mischief. He found her running away from yet another temporary house. Something about the couple there being so boring. They bumped into each other while he was shopping. She made him a part of some monologue of her own, forcing him to listen and lose sense of reality. She talked that much and with no sense at all, that he didn't even notice when he paid for her stuff. Before he was able to say anything she was gone, only a booming laugh could be heard in the distance.

The second time she bumped into him was near a playground. He was too tired to remember her, but apparently, she remembered him quite well. With no worry, she just once again started talking. She was quite witted and to Joel's surprise, she didn't annoy him that much. Sure she talked a lot but she had a weird sense of humor and he enjoyed her presence. She told him about a book she wanted but the new couple didn't want to buy her as they had a stick up their asses - her words not his. Joel forced himself not to laugh at the seriousness on an 11-year-old's face.

“So you bought her the book?” You exclaimed, shaking your head in disbelief.

“A part of me hoped that she would leave me the hell alone if I did, but yeah, she seemed to want it and it didn't seem like she would stay with that couple for a long time.” You rolled your eyes but smirked at him to continue. “I think she went through what was it like 8 couples?” He frowned and got serious for a minute, sipping his beer. He did buy you everything, even some beer for the evenings. “Ellie… she's kind of difficult, but she is a good kid. She's great, you know?” He chuckled nervously. “She just doesn't trust easily, you know ?”

“Well, I know someone very similar.” You winked at him and he rolled his eyes at your suggestive tone. “She sounds lively. I'd love to meet her if you'll let me.”

“Of course, you're family, I want you to meet her”, your eyes widened and tears appeared in your eyes again. Deep down you knew that what Joel said was true, but hearing it coming directly from him was something completely different. Especially now, when you are alone in this world. No family left, no real friends. You never really had time for that. Even when you moved you focused on working to be able to send your father some money. Sure, you had colleagues, but that was it. “Kid, you're OK?” You looked up, hearing concern in his voice. You raised your hand when he wanted to get up and walk towards you.

“I think I'm a bit emotional lately. Sorry about that!” It was your turn now to chuckle nervously. You took a deep breath and smiled softly at him. “I'm just relieved that I have you in my life, Joel.” His eyes widened and he frowned. “When I left I was afraid you won't want to talk to me anymore. But here you are calling me a family when I abandoned you all…”

“You haven't…”

“I know” you interrupted him, swallowing harder, trying to control your beating heart. Your aching heart, thanks to this man hasn't broken into pieces yet. “All this is new and painful right now and what I want to say is that … I'm just happy you are by my side.” You both jumped when his phone rang. A frustrated sigh left his lip but he frowned and picked up.

“Ellie?” You smiled at the way his tone changed dramatically after that annoyed look he had just seconds ago. You got up and collected the empty bottles from the beer. You wondered if Joel had cleaned the home before you came back. Everything looked too clean to have been kept that way by your father.

Your heart beats faster, thinking about that man. You met him when you were almost 13 and you moved here with your parents. A house they always dreamed of and you couldn't be more happy moving from a one-bedroom flat to an actual home.

You met Sarah before you were able to meet Joel. She was playing around in the garden, she was 4 and full of energy. Joel had bought her a little pool where she could splash during hot days.

You are still unsure what possessed you to go there but after giving your mom some puppy eyes you went to the house where Sarah was playing happily in the water. It was 4 houses away from yours so it wasn't that far for your parents to worry.

“I love your pool!” You exclaimed and apologized when she jumped hearing you out of nowhere. She frowned slightly, and now when you remembered, she looked just like her own father. You introduced yourself then, smiling brightly at a little girl. You always wanted a younger sibling. But your mother couldn't have any more kids and so you were raised by yourself. “I and my parents just moved in. Can I play with you?” And this was the beginning of your friendship either Sarah. Being 9 years older, you finally had a little sister and Sarah had a big sibling as she always wanted.

You met Joel the same day, a couple of minutes after you started to play with Sarah. You still remember the softness in his eyes when he noticed you playing with his kid. The little, gentle “sweetheart” he called you then. The way he kneeled next to the two of you, splashing you both with water. He didn't mind you were a random kid from the neighborhood. All he cared about was that you played with his little girl.

Later on, your parents met him, when they came to pick you up. He was invited to a dinner, after that, you were invited for Sarah's birthday and it went like that. Joel has become a huge part of your family's life and yours. When you turned to that awkward teenage years, before all went to shit, he was that cool family friend who you spoke to about all these awkward things. He was the one who picked you up from your first drunk night and listened to you crying about your first breakup. He was also the one who threw condoms into your bag one day when you started to date. Something you picked up on with Sarah, for which he was very thankful. It was one thing to be a cool friend to you, but he wasn't as OK with all these when it came to Sarah.

There was a moment in your young life when Joel Miller was your best friend. Your parents used to laugh that you would spend more time at his place than yours. To your surprise, he didn't mind, when your dad asked him if you ain't a bother.

“She's a cool kid. Don't worry about it.” Being called cool kid when you were 17 by someone like Joel, was the best fucking feeling in the entire world. Spending so much time with him of course led your stupid innocent heart to fall for him. You knew he was too old for you, after all, he was 30 while you were just a teenager. Despite the young age, you were smart enough to keep that attraction to yourself. His friendship and support were much more worth than your romantic feelings towards him.

It all dramatically changed when your mother died. It was an accident. A drunk driver hit her car. Of course, nothing has happened to him, but your mother didn't survive. Here brain stopped working after a week in hospital. And just like that, all your life changed.

Your father was in such despair that he completely forgot that he had a 21-year-old daughter. He would just sit in front of the TV and eat. Joel would come from time to time to take him out somewhere. You were thankful for that. Not only did it give you some time to yourself to mourn - after all you did lose your mother - but also cleaned up the house a bit.

But the more time flew the less power even Joel had over your father. The old man got so depressed that he stopped working, losing the job altogether. He didn't leave the house and showered only when he got that extra energy. And he started drinking.

In the beginning, it wasn’t much. Just a beer to the movie. Later it turned into 3 up to 5 beers a night. When these didn't help with the pain he changed into whiskey, but that was too expensive so he switched to vodka. Not only was it cheap but it was easiest to get drunk on. And when he was drunk, he just let himself forget. And when he forgot, well he forgot about everything.

He forgot that he had a daughter who needed to quit college to find a full-time job. And after a while another one. A daughter that at the age of 22 was working two jobs around 70 hours a week. A daughter who was acting more like a nurse and a cleaning lady than his child. He forgot that he was once a stoic man, with a big heart and gentle voice.

It started with an angry comment about something you didn't do. Then that comment turned into insults that became more and more painful to hear. After that came the shouting. He would shout at you for any minor inconvenience. Normally it was when there was not enough vodka in the fridge.

You became a shell of a person. At the age of almost 25, you looked like you were close to 50. Bags under your eyes, skinny as a stick, white like a ghost. Joel would come to visit as much as he could. But Sarah was in high school when she was thinking of going to college. His own company had an extra job and he had to ask Tommy to become his partner. He still came to visit. He would try to talk to your dad, but the man was a shell, non-responsive.

And it broke his heart completely seeing you. Well, at least when he got a chance to. You were never home. And even when you were, you were on your way out, or too busy cleaning and taking care of your drunk father. And yet, even then he remembered you would talk with Sarah when she needed it or help her with her applications. He wasn't sure how you were able to function and he was fearing the moment that it would all be too much for you.

It was on your birthday, of all days. You were turning 26 and Joel wanted to make sure that it would be the best day of your life. You remembered how he would bring that cake, how he disappeared in your father's room and made him take a shower and look decent for once. You took a day off to sleep. Even Sarah came that day. They bought you a new phone, your last one broke a while ago and there was no way you would be able to afford a new one with how everything looked at home. You cried happy tears, finally smiling, hugging them both.

But it all went to shit when you lost sight of your father. He used that moment to go to his love and get a bottle of vodka hidden under the bed. When he walked down the stairs he was already drunk. A bottle was almost empty. He looked at the phone in your hand and the hell broke.

Thinking you spent the money by yourself he started shouting and swearing at you. Joel tried to calm him down, but you begged him not to interfere and leave. You would take care of your father. He was your problem, and Joel and Sarah have seen enough. And as they were leaving, you walked them to the doors, a bottle was thrown right next to you, trashing into the wall. You still remember the silence after that and then, just like that, you felt a slap on your cheek. An angry move from your drunken father, who felt like he owned you. What he saw was his daughter being disrespectful for turning around while he was shouting at you.

You have never seen Joel as angry. He ordered Sarah to go back home and he shoved the man you used to call dad away from you. You remember that as if it happened yesterday. You remember how you weren't even able to cry. You just stood there unable to comprehend what just happened. And then your brain caught up to what happened. And you have had enough. You went to your room. When Joel came to see you, you apologized that he had to see it. You do not remember much of what was said. But you remember you spent the night, after he left, writing letters. One to Sarah, one to Joel, and one to him. And you left. Packed the most important stuff and left. When you saw a bus ticket to Washington, you just bought it and went for it.

Life wasn't easy, but at least you were free. Free from the man you hated, but caged by the past and the fact that you still loved him and couldn't just leave him. And so you sent him the money. What he did with them was up to him. He was an adult. You just wanted to shut that conscious up.

“Ellie says hi!” You jumped and turned around. Joel hid his phone momentarily and jogged toward you, seeing tears in your eyes. How many times will you cry in front of him, before he gets tired of it? You were too afraid to even think that. You were sure that if you had lost Joel, you would have fallen apart. “It's late, sweetheart. How about we get you to bed and we will deal with whatever that is tomorrow?” You nodded and leaned into him, letting him take care of you. You trusted him and wanted nothing more than for this day to end. You have fallen asleep thankful for Joel to be a part of your life once again.

#joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfic #joel miller fic #tlou #angst #fanfiction #pedrohub #pedrostories #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fanfiction

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