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sunnywritings · 3 years

Text

you’re amusing

request: n/a pairing: pirate!dream x reader genre: angst/fluff word count: 6k warnings: fighting, bloodshed(not graphic) summary: captainpuffy’s crew raids your island. :)

extra: i spent two days writing this and it turned out to be 14 pages on google docs- please- lmao. um anyways,, you can use my au if you’d like(just @ me if you do!!/credit me), feel free to ask questions and i’ll answer and give y’all the info i have on it! :) also this is NOT edited dsifds anyways!! (i dont usually add keep readings but this is so long im sorry please-) - - - - - - - - - -

winter was never kind to us, the only things that seemed to warm us all were the bread and pastries niki made, or the fire we’d have ever night. otherwise, the town was silent, not a peep from anyone simply trying to survive.

we were close, or at least some of us are. every now and then you’d here whispered talking, most now guarded and isolated from the first attack. tubbo and tommy were the two that spoke the most to each other, tommy commonly being seen entering and exiting tubbo’s florist shop, except not always with flowers.

he’d leave with weapons now, newly crafted and made swords or arrows, shields sometimes even. it wasn’t new but it was still shocking that this is what the town had come to. what used to be a lively, social town now filled with the cold, bitterness of a half victory.

wilbur hadn’t been seen for a couple of weeks, the only signs he was still in there were the fact patrols were still being sent out. tommy, techno, and purpled all wandering the island, weapons drawn and looking out for that one boat.

‘masked raiders’ is what they called them, the members rather than the ship. the title was earned when their raid leader had become recognizable for their white eye cover/bandana and mocking smile.

no, the ship itself was called ‘ethereal fury’. led by the infamous captain puffy. legends say it’s hundreds of years old, passed on to their family like an heirloom, yet no one knew who would lead it next.

you stared out over the waters, one leg over the cliff side and the other tucked up, elbow leaning against it and palm in hand. your bow sat beside you, the bundle of arrows scattered around messily. organization was never your strong suit, but aim was. tubbo had crafted you personalized throwing knives, your initials craved into the handle.

your hand clasped around one of the knives, running your thumb delicately over your initials. glancing up at the sky, you took note of the time, pressing a hand against the ground and standing. purpled would be home soon, and you needed to check him over for wounds. he was your brother, as reckless as he was, he never learned to take care of himself.

with a sigh you walked around, picking up the discarded arrows, sliding your bow over your back. the string pressed against your front, though it became an invisible, phantom of a feeling when you turned around, hearing noise from the waters.

around another island in the distance pulled a ship, not too far away from your home island. quickly you pulled a shrinkable scope from your pocket, an intention fundy had given you to test, looking around the boat for a symbol.

and there it was, the ram horns on the front of the ship. quickly a gasp left you, from your post you ran for the watchtower. the cliff was a watchpoint and practice area, one you commonly went to.

you rushed up the mossy watchtower stairs, almost stumbling. finally, you reached the bell, grabbing the string inside and frantically ringing the bell.

it’s noise rung out, hurting your ears, yet you continued to hit it and let the sharp sound fill the island. immediately you heard the upsurge from the side, hearing the draw gate start to close and defense barriers begin to set up. techno and tommy must’ve been closing in when you hit the bell, what ironically and unfortunately perfect timing.

the cold wind stung at your skin and face as you raced back down the stairs and to the cliffside. you kneeled, pulling your bow back out and drawing an arrow from your quill. your sight was aimed down at the ship, keeping a steady aim and stare on the offensive, and enemy raiders.

the ship began to slow, and you could see the cannon windows begin to open. steadying your grip on the arrow you aimed slightly up, breathing in before releasing the arrow, exhaling while you shut.

the arrow zoomed through the air, piercing directly into the opening of the cannon. the window immediately shut on that opening, and you took out another arrow, quickly changing positions to be further in the shrubbery. loading another arrow you aimed at the pirate ship again, watching them begin to dock. the moment you saw a sign of movement you fired the arrow, repeating your breathing process. it hit against the board that let them down, bouncing off and into the waters, though you had been inches away from hitting someone's foot.

you glanced up slightly from where you had been aiming, the white sticking out against the rest of the outfit. pain shot through your lungs at the aggressive and sharp inhale you took. the leader of the masked raider’s was staring directly up at the cliffside, though not at you, but rather at the watchtower.

quickly you rolled into the bushes, back against a tree while peering out at them. you saw two of the raiders jump out, one throwing a fireball at the wooden defenses and the other throwing two potions down. their swords gleamed, even from how far back you were. suddenly, you heard a familiar warping sound.

drawing your attention over, you watched a black and red hooded figure land, glancing over the town. they stood beside the watchtower, only about twenty feet away from you. slowly you leaned a hand down, grabbing a pebble. keeping it held firmly in your hands you reared your hand back, throwing it at the shrubbery on the other side of the watchtower.

that got their attention, and you got a good glimpse of their face. a half demon, black horns prominently protruding from their forehead and white eyes. you bit your tongue to prevent any noise, pulling a throwing knife out of its sheath. it was silent for a moment before the half demon began to walk over to investigate, sword drawn.

you had to block out the noises of the battle below in order to focus, inhaling softly and slowly. tunnel vision took its effect, and everything around you became noiseless, void while you zoned in on this half demon’s back. the knife flew from your hand, embedding yourself into their shoulder.

“agh!” the half demon shouted, flinching forward and dropping their sword before spinning around, growling. clearly they were angry, ripping the throwing knife from their shoulder and looking at it. their blood was white like their eyes, and while they seemed focused on the throwing knife you drew the dagger you had strapped to your thigh.

from where you were you could hear the half demon’s breathing, before their gaze flickered to the shrubbery you were in. your eyes met, and before you realized what you were doing, you had sprung out of the bushes, lunging at the half demon.

their grip on the knife changed, clasping tightly around your throwing knife. while you swung to the side in an attempt to hit them, they swiped at you. the knife clipped your shoulder, but you had managed to slash across their leg.

you rolled away, on your good shoulder, the adrenaline numbing the sting from the wound. the half demon took a step back to look at you, seemingly unfazed from the wound. they slowly took steps towards you, while you stood there, shifting your feet into a fighting stance.

suddenly they rushed at you, stabbing the knife down at you. your knife raised, meeting the knife in the middle. while you both struggled to push the other knife away, you rose a foot, kicking the half demon in the stomach. they flinched, gasping while being kicked back.

your throwing knife dropped, and while you quickly moved, ducking to pick it up, the half demon threw their own knife at you. it landed in your shoulder, which brought a gasp of pain from you.

glancing over, you saw the half demon running at you again, sword drawn, having picked it up when they were kicked away. you stared, rage now burning in your stomach. when they took several swipes at you, you managed to duck or back away from the strikes. when the barrage of hits ended you swung forward, slamming the handle of your knife into their head. the half demon got knocked down, and before they could get back up again, you slammed into their stomach. you hit the handle against their head once, twice, and finally three times before they were down for the count.

standing up you inhaled shakily, reaching a hand up and ripping out the knife. you gasped again, stifling a cry of pain by biting your lip. tears burned in your eyes before you rolled the half demon over, slowly taking all their weapons. you hesitated before grabbing the half demon by the back of the hood, dragging them over to the watchtower. you propped them up against a wall inside, leaving their practically emptied bag there.

new sword in hand, you walked out, the pain slowly returning from your dying adrenaline. returning to the cliffside over town, you stared down at the battle, panting softly. the battle reigned on, techno fighting the masked raider’s leader, tommy fighting the one that started the fire, and purpled fighting the one that splashed potions. from what you could see the battle was in the town’s favor, philza even shooting arrows down from above the town’s biggest building, the townhouse, where wilbur, fundy, and philza all lived.

with a sigh you readied yourself to go down the cliff, shaking out your arms, not without a spike of pain in your left one. slowly, you used your heels to ground you to the earth, sliding your way down without hurting yourself too badly. scrapes now littered your hands when you hit the ground, quickly running into the town.

the battle was louder now, metal clashing against metal and the sounds of the crackling fire. you ducked beside the bakery, peering inside for niki.

when you looked inside you saw her behind the counter, the traveler jack inside with her. they seemed to be talking, jack gesturing to the battle outside while niki shook her head. she saw you, pausing before waving. jack turned to look at you, scowling, which seemed to be his natural expression. you waved back before looking back at the battle, huffing.

the fire was spreading uncomfortably close to the townhouse, though philza seemed fine from above. it was fundy you were worried about, less than about purpled but still worried. the fox hybrid had been taught to fight, but hadn’t completed his training, and was even a few years older than purpled. he’d been babied for so long by wilbur that he hadn’t gotten the chance to train.

glancing around at the battle, you made sure all of them were distracted before running, sprinting across the open field. the clinking of the swords grew louder as you ran past them. unfortunately, the moment you got close to the townhouse, you heard the loud sound of cannon fire. the noise pierced the air, a ringing noise now sitting in your ears as you watched the cannon ball hit directly into the townhouse.

“no!” you screamed, voice cracking. the impact knocked you off your feet and threw the sword away from you, though you scrambled back up, you were forced to watch the townhouse crumble and fall. philza managed to swoop down with his wings. “phil, fundy’s still in there!” you shouted at the advisor, who paused with wide eyes.

“get him! i need to help techno!” he shouted back before dashing off, not even giving you a chance to rebuke. you exhaled heavily before running into the burning remains of the townhouse, roughly scrambling through while coughing from the smoke.

lifting the broken wood, “fundy! where are you!” you shouted, coughing afterwards. faintly you heard him call back, a weak ‘help!’ from within the rubble.

dashing over, you quickly began to remove the wood, ignoring the sting from the fire. it burnt your skin, licking at it to create new wounds while you simply continued to move. finally you found the fox hybrid, grabbing his hand and pulling him out. his fur was burnt slightly, tips singed. you put a hand on his head, forcing him to duck with you. “c’mon! this place is gonna collapse!” taking hold of his hand you rushed fundy out of the building, with him stumbling behind you.

when you both managed to get out, only a few moments later did the building groan, the rest finally collapsing. your hands shot to your knees, crouching while you coughed aggressively. fundy pat at your back, covering his own cough with an arm. “thank you.” his voice was hoarse, yet almost broken sounding. you glanced up at him, nodding before walking a little bit away. picking up the half demon’s sword, you handed it to fundy. “protect yourself.” even your voice was hoarse, strained from the smoke and coughing.

he nodded at you before both of you turned to the battle still raging on. ringing set in your ears again, the pain coming back like a tsunami. you winced, crying out in pain before collapsing to your knees. burn wounds littered across your hands and upper arm, the stab wound to your shoulder not doing any better from the ash that now rests atop it.

your breathing had become labored, shaky on top of that. fundy rummaged through a he had, taking out a healing potion. he kept a hand on your back, “tilt your head back.” you glanced over at him before doing as told. the fox hybrid pushed the bottle to your mouth, pouring half of it for you to drink. you gulped it down like it was water and you were going through a drought. leaning your head back forward, he drank the rest of the potion. “thank you.” you muttered, able to feel the energy returning to your body, watching the burn scars fade slightly and feel the stab wound stop bleeding and scab over.

he hummed, removing his hand quickly after that while discarding the bottle. “now let’s get back to this battle right?” fundy grinned, one of his fox ear’s flicking. you smiled back up at him, standing up and taking out your dagger. “we got some raiders to beat the shit out of.”

together, you rushed towards the battle, though fundy diverged from you, running to philza. you kept running straight, sprinting to where purpled was fighting, though his opponent’s back was to you.

just as you were above to slash at him you heard the call out, “george! behind you!” it came from the one tommy was fighting.

the one now known as ‘george’, spun around, swinging his sword. you ducked back, sword swiping over your stomach and head. you spun, pressing your hands off the ground and kicking him into the stomach, knocking him back towards purpled. while you landed your brother slashed george in the side, rearing a hand back and punching him square in the face while he was in shock.

his glasses crumbled to the floor, now broken, blood dripping down after it. he gasped, and while you moved around george to purpled’s side you could see why. george’s nose had been broken from purpled’s punch, and your brother still wasn’t letting up. purpled landed another punch into his gut, shoving george back again. the enemy raider let out a small fry of pain before punching back at purpled, hitting him in the shoulder.

it was slow motion when you watched the raider’s leader appear behind george, and as george ducked, the leader’s sword swung towards purpled. you dived forward, knocking purpled out of the way. the sword hit empty air while you stood back up, glaring at the masked raider. their head turned to stare at you before one of their hands rested on george’s shoulder. george glanced at the leader before running off into the battle.

you stared at the masked one, or the bandana, shifting the grip on your dagger. right now you really wished you hadn’t given fundy that sword. it was silence between you two before he bolted forward, swinging at you. you backed up, ducking and dodging his rapid swinging.

purpled shouted, “catch!” you glanced over only for a second, dropping the dragged and catching the sword, spinning on your foot and clashing your swords together. the clink rang out, the renowned, mocking smile forming on the leader’s expression.

you stared flatly, glaring before smiling. the masked leader paused when you smiled, quickly spinning around and hitting purpled’s dagger away. with his back turned, you slashed down it, cutting through his shirt and drawing blood.

the masked leader paused before aggressively swinging at him, pivoting and slashing the blade at you. you bounced his blade off, taking steps back while he took steps forward, making aggressive slashes at you.

the tip of his sword hit you every once in a while, making shallow cuts first to your arm and then one to your chest. finally something intervened, though it definitely wasn’t what you hoped for.

“stop the fighting or he’s fucking dead!” the fire started called, sword to someone’s neck. you and the masked raider both paused, looking over. fundy was beaten up, bleeding from his lip and nose, slashes made down his arms and a couple on his legs.

you gasped, “fundy-“ your voice started, but before you could move the masked raider’s sword was put in front of you like a wall. slowly you looked over at them, staring with wide eyes. purpled came to your side, weapon discarded and glaring up at the masked raider. “back up.” he commanded, but his demand fell upon deaf ears.

the masked raider continued to stare at you while one of his companions shouted, “drop your weapons and give up! one fucking arrow or knife comes at me and he’s gone!” the sword moved closer to fundy’s neck, who managed to hold his head back slightly, his eyes wide, mouth tightly closed, and arms drawn in.

“let him go-“ your voice was quiet at first, before your fist nestled around the grass below you, though it was practically dead. “let him go!” you shouted, voice breaking halfway through, tears finding their way to your eyes. “he’s just a teenager how the fuck can you do this! you’re threatening to kill us for what? greed! fucking satisfaction you sick fucks!” you continued to scream, even when the masked raider moved his sword closer to your neck.

tears spilled over your eyes, “if you’re gonna do it then fucking do it! but leave him alone! fuck off! we’re a small island! a fucking family that you made distrust each other from the first attack! what’re you gonna do? stab me?” you reached up, grabbing his sword and bringing it to your neck. your grip was tight enough to cut your hand, blood dripping down the blade. “do it then you fucking sick prick.” from behind the bandana you could feel them staring at you, as if actually contemplating it.

their sword dropped as they walked forward, crouching down and grabbing you by the collar of the shirt. they smiled, “drop the fox!” they called, holding an amused tone of voice. “we’re taking this one.” as they spoke they hoisted you up, lifting you slightly off the ground. you squirmed, and as much as you hated it you had to accept they were stronger than you.

“no you aren’t!” purpled shouted, swinging the sword you had discarded towards their arm. another sword intervened, but not by who either of you expected.

wilbur scowled at purpled, pushing your brother away. “stand down purpled.” he ordered. purpled opened his mouth to speak, but wilbur didn’t give him the chance. “you heard me.” he glared before looking over at the masked raider.

“leave.” was all he said, turning his back on the masked raider, walking across the burnt town-square and over to where fundy had been dropped.

the masked raider tossed you over his shoulder, where you wiggled, hitting at their back while cussing bitterly. the raider who had started the fire was handed a pouch of gold while wilbur took fundy, leading the fox hybrid away from the raider.

the raider whistled, “and thank you-“ the masked raider shouted after a moment, “sapnap! c’mon we don’t have time for this!” they called. ‘sapnap’ groaned, rolling his eyes before going along. “and see you all another time!” he mock bowed while the masked raider walked up the board.

you hit at their back with closed fists, wiggling. “let me go!” your voice echoed, screaming, though no one listened. no one in the town could look at you, the only ones who did make eye contact were purpled and techno, one who looked regretful and the other looked guilty. both were wounded, techno more so than purpled, before they were gone from your sight.

the board was hauled onto the ship when sapnap got back on, george and the half-demon getting their wounds tended to as you were set down. the masked raider set you down against a pole while the boat got moving. feeling the boat lurch forward, you moved with it, wincing when your head hit the back of the pole.

your eyes closed, biting your tongue before opening your eyes. when you opened them you saw the captain staring at you, ram horns decorated with gold jewelry. you yelped, trying to flinch back even further from the captain.

alas, that did nothing as she only grew closer. you shut your eyes tight, tucking your chin and grabbing onto your own wrist tightly. the feeling of a hand on your chin brought back all your fear, and it only worsened when you were forced to look up, opening your eyes out of shock. she stared down at you, studying your expression and how you reacted. you were forced to stare back, and your fear mixed with anger burned into your eyes and stomach, boiling like a geyser.

“good job dream, now we have leverage.” she hummed, smiling. “welcome to ethereal fury.” captain puffy stared down at you before letting go, simply taking a few steps back. her sword shifted as she moved, and with a snap of her fingers you were being picked up again, this time by strangers. ‘dream’ seemed to be the masked raider, who stood beside the captain.

the new people holding you were up some not out on the battlefield, you assumed they were behind the canons or simple helpers. one was a half endermen and the other looked more dead inside, and bored, than sapnap did behind dream.

“now i find it awfully impressive you managed to take down bad,” that sentence got the half endermen to tighten their grip on you, “but i’m not all that happy you did it to begin with.” puffy turned to look at you, unsheathing one of her daggers. “now you can either tell us everything about yourself and the island,” the tip of the dagger pressed against your lips, applying pressure on your lower one, “or you can decide to not speak at all.”

your jaw fell loose, and the light pressure applied to your mouth made it fall open slightly. the cold of the blade shot through your head, the metallic taste was a bitter reminder of what was happening. she removed the knife after a moment, to give you the opportunity to speak.

you looked up at her slowly, glaring. “your men tried to kill one of my friends,” your voice was low, words slow, “so frankly, you can suck my fucking dick.” a smile drew onto your face, “because at least mine is bigger than half your men’s.”

puffy stared back at you, and while the fear and loss of confidence dwelled in your stomach, you were determined to keep staring back.

finally, she laughed loudly as well. your expression and body slacked at the noise, eyes widening. “that’s a good one kid, a good one.” puffy leaned slightly down to look at you, smiling. “you’re amusing, so full of spite it seems.” she stood back up, sheathing the knife. “i like this one.”

dream rose a brow before scoffing, him and sapnap walking over to george and ‘bad’. “release them.” puffy ordered, which got everyone’s attention.

slowly you were let go, you stretching by rolling your arms, though you winced right after. your arm was still sore from where bad had stabbed you. hesitantly you glanced around, unsure of what to do now that you were let go, though puffy brought your attention back to her. “alright kid, now you’re not one of us so don’t get the wrong idea, but you’ll definitely have to stay in the cell for a couple of days.” those words brought your scowl back.

“well if your so-called dream hadn’t insisted on taking me you wouldn’t have to worry about me.” you grumbled. puffy laughed again, though it sounded more mocking this time.

puffy grabbed you by the wounded shoulder, tugging you over. her nails dug into your wound, which made you wince out of pain, biting your lip and whimpering slightly. she let up on her grip, though she still dragged you down into the bottom of the boat, through a staircase. down there was one guy cracking jokes and the other laughing. the one making jokes was in blue, a scar down one of his eyes, and the other was in a colorful outfit, goggles on top of his head and a book in hand.

you stared at them for a moment, and eventually they both looked over at you, pausing in their conversation. puffy continued to tug you forward, and as you passed them they both returned to conversation, though more hushed this time.

when you looked forward again you saw puffy pulling you towards a cell, which was quickly opened with one of her keys. you inhaled sharply when she pushed you inside, landing on your side.

you sat up as puffy spoke, “now if you behave for a little we might consider letting you join, or return to your companions.” she locked the door again, spinning the key. quickly you went to the bars, shaking them a couple of times. you knew it was futile, only the width of your arm could fit between those bars.

moving back in the cell you sat against the wall, sighing while tilting your head back. this was gonna be a long few days wasn’t it.

- - - - - - - - - -

you woke up to the sound of the cell door opening, jolting up. pain shot through your shoulder when you sat up, staring with wide eyes at the door. dream stood there, bandages and gauze in his hands. he stared at you before clearing his throat, “puffy sent me to clean your wounds.” the raider muttered, walking towards you.

before he could reach you your back had hit the wall, distrust dwelling in your stomach. dream’s posture was slack, relaxed and unafraid, clearly he didn’t take you as a threat for now. no words were spoken as you slowly turned, huffing while showing him your back first.

the sound of him sitting down was the only noise in the cell, besides hearing your own breathing. when he stopped moving the noise of his breathing became clear as well, and oddly your breaths had been in sync. you flinched when a rag touched your shoulder wound, clearly he had doused it in gauze to clean and disinfect it. he stopped moving for a moment, waiting before slowly wiping the rag down the cut. it wasn’t necessarily long, just a deep stab in your shoulder, which hurt like all hell.

after a moment of repetitive wipes to the wound, he removed the rag, using his other hand and tugging your sleeve down. you bit your lip to distract yourself, fidgeting with your hands. “lift your arm.” his voice was surprisingly soft, calm to an extent. you did as instructed, wincing, though all he did was begin to wrap the bandage around your shoulder. he lifted a hand, gently pulling your arm down after he’d looped the bandage around the front, pulling the rest down onto the flat of your wound.

he cut the bandage off, though his other hand stayed on your arm for a moment longer before he removed it. you shifted, turning around and holding your arms out. the gauze rag he had used was tainted with a light red, though he still used it to clean the shallow cuts to your arms. his hands moved slowly, and you watched him work, closely studying his expression, or lack thereof, and his hands.

when he finished bandaging your arms his head tilted to look you in the face. silence settled between you two, only the sound of your breathing filled the room.

“why’re you listening to puffy and helping me?” your voice came as a surprise to even yourself, having blurted out the words.

dream only stared back before a smile formed on his expression. “puffy was right. you are amusing.” his tongue clicked, raising a hand and pulling his bandana back. piercing, green eyes stared at you, bright somehow even in the darkness of the cell, a taunting, yet charming smile painting his face. “i’m glad i chose you over the fox.” dream’s words were practically purred out, voice filled with amusement. you couldn’t help the small blush that spread to your face, both from his eyes and sudden change in voice. “try and get some more sleep doll, we have a long couple of days to go.” he leaned towards you, grinning before patting the top of your head.

the bandana returned to cover his eyes after he gathered the gauze rag and bandages, walking out of the cell and locking it. you stared wide-eyed at the spot he once sat at and the cell door. a sharp breath left you, one you didn’t realize you were even holding. who the fuck was this raider? and who did dream think he was to do that to you? but most importantly, what did he mean?

- - - - - - - - - -

dream had visited you a couple more times over however long it had been. mainly he had been bringing you food and water, his excuse was always, ‘puffy sent me down to do this’. the more he used it the less you cared, you were tired of that excuse, you just wanted to know what he saw in you that had him coming back.

on the brighter side, you had met a few of the other crewmates. quackity and karl were the two you had passed before below deck, they seemed fun and even cracked jokes with you despite you being in a cell. they had made you laugh for the first time since you got here, it was refreshing too. you had also met ranboo, the half endermen, and punz, the one who had looked dead inside. though it was more you had heard his name was punz, from ranboo who had been coming down to check on some storage.

anytime you tried to ask how long you’d been down here you never got a certain answer, just an ‘uhhh’ and then a shrug, or being flat out ignored. at this rate you were tempted to shimmy out of the bars and see if there was a window you could jump out of. it felt like you could swim to shore with how long you had been cooped up in here.

you heard his footsteps again, he had come by enough for you to recognize them. turning, you looked at the cell door, focusing back in, seeing dream walking. something hopped in your stomach, seeing him carry a tray of food and a glass of water.

he opened the cell door again, “puffy had me-“ you interrupted him, “oh quit the fucking excuse, if you’re gonna bring me something at least tell me why you’re coming.” dream looked mildly shocked you had snapped at him, shoulders stiffening.

his jaw clenched while he set the food down, water beside it. you grabbed the food, picking up the bread and biting into it. cold as always, “well? you gonna talk or you gonna keep shoving your head into your ass?” you swoop your hand in a vague ‘get it going’ gesture.

dream paused again before laughing, sitting down. “i’ve always been interested in you. since that first raid we pulled on your island,” he started, while you slowly continued to eat, “when we lost and were retreating you didn't shout in victory like the other island protectors did. you turned around and helped the others of your island, checked on them, made sure they were fine, and began to help set up housing for those who had temporarily lost it from our cannonballs.” his words slowed considerably, pausing to breathe.

another smile formed on his expression, though not a mocking one, “something about you drew me in, something i can’t explain.” dream undid his bandana, resting it on one of his crossed legs. he leaned forward and towards you. his eyes scoured your expression, looking for something, which had developed a look of mild shock. you didn’t think he paid that much mind to you before they had taken you.

he leaned back, standing up and tying his bandana back on. dream offered a hand out, “your days in the cell are up.” a grin split across his expression when you took his hand, stumbling after pulling yourself up. “oh doll, you’re gonna love it here.”

dream led you out of the cell, careful to support you to avoid you falling or stumbling, even as you climbed the stairs. the daylight burned you eyes when you saw it again, squinting up at the clouds before glancing around. the crew had all gathered by the stairs, puffy in the front.

you paused to glance at dream, who was still grinning, before looking at puffy. she was smiling, taking strides towards you. the ram hybrid stared down at you for a moment, letting the silence ring out before she spoke.

“we want you to join ethereal fury.” puffy offered, “we all here believe you’d fit right in with us, training as a team, close as a family, and forming a bond with everyone here.” the ram hybrid hummed, finishing her small speech.

silence sat between you two again, the only noise was the waves rocking the boat. dream’s grip on your shoulder tightened slightly, but not as to intimidate you into joining, more of anticipation.

a small smile formed on your face, “sure.” why not try it? you’d probably return home eventually anyways, right? the crew burst out into cheers, karl running at you and pulling you into a hug, “welcome!” he shouted, shaking you slightly.

they were so trusting of you. but why? they’d barely known you, didn’t know if you’d say yes to joining. it made no sense to be this trustworthy.

dream pulled you away from karl, pulling you into a tight hug while quackity shouted something about getting the tequila and rum out. “welcome to the team, glad to have you here.” he shifted back slightly, using a hand to tilt your head up and kissing your forehead, smiling. a blush rapidly spread across your face, eyes widening slightly, and your posture and expression momentarily falling slack.

maybe this was the start of something new, a good new, and frankly? you couldn’t wait to see where it led.

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donaidk · 3 years

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Mick Schumacher - Worth the wait

I’m sorry for slacking in the last few days, I had a few things around uni I had to get done before sitting down and writing. But I’m now back with another Mick oneshot that I hope you guys will like 😊 Thank you for the request and wishing a great week for everyone 🥰🧡

Masterlist | Taglist/Queue | Request

Looking through the closet Y/N really didn’t know what she should put on for the day that was comfortable but at the same time would look good. Usually she wouldn’t really care about looks and fashion if she wanted to dress comfy, but knowing how many cameras and photographers will be there during the day, she felt like it was a must this time. All the fans looked at those photos before or after the races, her being one of them as on several occasions those were the only way for her to see Mick other than during their FaceTime calls. However, this time she would be on them too, and even though she promised herself it wouldn’t matter, in the end it wasn’t that easy to get over. She did care about what the fans will think about her, although less than what Mick’s crew members and team members will. That was probably the most nerve wracking part of the weekend. Y/N already met some of them as she attended the first practice session on friday, but staying in the background and not even entering the garage meant she stayed a stranger to them until today.

“ You can take something from mine if you would like. ” She heard from behind him and turning her head towards the voice she could see Mick getting ready just a few meters away from her. “ I have some team stuff too, if you need anything. ” He added, pointing at the suitcase that was still half full with black-red Haas branded shirts and sweaters. Y/N’s anxiety was quite visible on her face, and he knew wearing his shirts sometimes helped calm her down somehow.

“ Maybe. I don’t know… ” Y/N let out a sigh, debating if her wearing his things would bring positive or negative feedback. In the end she just took one of her favourite shirts of his, pushing every thought back as she pulled the material over her head, tucking it into her jeans a little. When she stepped out of the closet Mick was ready too, sitting on the bed and waiting for her. “ Ready! ” She added when he looked up at her and with a nod got up from the bed.

As it was a home GP for Mick they were able to stay in his home rather than a hotel room and start the day from there. It wasn’t a long drive from the apartment to the circuit, giving Y/N just around 20 minutes to prepare herself mentally for the day. Luckily it wasn’t her driving and she could just watch the trees and houses go by as they passed them on the way. She knew everything felt strange because it was just her first time attending a race, and that hopefully if there was going to be a next time, it would be a bit calmer. She didn’t know how people will act towards her, but after getting through the first meetings it will be easier to be around them. It was usually just the first impressions that made her so anxious.

“ They’re going to love you, don’t worry about it. ” They were just turning off the road towards the private parking lot of the circuit when Y/N started bouncing her knee a little bit and Mick could see it from the corner of his eye. “ I would be really surprised if there would be anyone who doesn’t like you by the end of the day. ” He chuckled, looking to his right when the car was parked and with one last squeeze to her hand, they both got out of the vehicle.

‘ Just don’t jinx it. ’ Y/N let out a sigh, taking her backpack out before stepping right next to Mick as she didn’t know where they had to go first. He shared the schedule with her, but it was a bit too much information all together, and she couldn’t really remember everything that was on the papers. Knowing that she will be either next to Mick or someone else from the team during the whole day was enough for her.

Getting to the entrance they both let themselves in with their passes, Y/N needing a bit of help from him initially, and as they were walking down the paddock Mick took her hand in his. Just seconds later she spotted a few photographers turning their way, but somehow she didn’t care about them. She never really cared about being photographed until it was done by official photographers and not just jealous fans or paparazzi on the streets. She wanted her private life out of the media, keeping all her social media pages private and only posting for her friends and family. Y/N did rarely appear on Mick’s posts or stories, but he was observant of her choices and made sure she was always okay with whatever he wanted to put out. This one time she was even looking forward to the photos taken of them, but would never admit it to anyone. She may have even smiled at a few of them when they passed their booth before entering the Haas hospitality.

“ Well, they probably already like you. Not all partners are that happy about them taking photos. ” Mick let her get through the door first, stepping next to her again inside. It wasn’t a huge building, but looking around quickly Y/N knew she would probably manage to get lost alone. “ If you need food or anything it’s there, and if you need quiet you can always just go to my room upstairs. ” He pointed in different directions, showing everything to her as they went to the stairs and up to the second level of the building.

“ I’m probably gonna stay mostly just out of the way. ” Y/N let out a sigh, following him inside the little room and just putting down her backpack on the sofa. “ Am I even allowed into the garage? Or is it just this building and the stands for guests? ” She asked, watching as he was already packing out a few things from his own bag.

“ Of course you’re allowed. Even if you weren’t I would get them to somehow let you in. It’s your choice if you would like to watch it from the garage or a stand seat. ” Mick shrugged a little, looking up at her with a smile on his face. For him it was still hard to believe that she actually came to the race and didn’t run away yet. “ I’m sure you won’t distract anyone. They’re gonna sit you down somewhere and just continue with their jobs. ” He added when Y/N still didn’t look convinced one bit, even though she knew Mick would never lie to her about anything.

“ I’ll probably just go there with you, watch the race itself from the stands, and then go back to the garage after the race. ” She decided a few minutes later when they were already leaving the building as he had to get some interviews out of the way before getting ready for the main event. She already knew his PR people as they did sometimes meet up with him on non race days too. “ Even at home I can’t stay put while you’re racing. I would just drive them round the bend, but you're the only one who should be driving today. ” Y/N let out a laugh at her own joke, seeing as Mick just shook his head.

When they got to the media pen she let go of his hand, letting him do his job and watching him talk to the reporters from the sidelines. She was too far away to hear any of it, but seeing the constant smile on his face showed Y/N that he was enjoying the questions. They could be a bit prying into his private life occasionally, but mostly they just stayed with the sport and only asked about his performance and opinion on the races. She really didn’t know how someone could enjoy people always questioning them, but she knew it was a part of Mick’s career and even if he didn’t want to do it sometimes, he had to. For her it was enough to just watch them and probably would have never chosen to do an interview if it wasn’t a must. She knew the drivers had media training, Mick probably a lot more thanks to his family, but she still couldn’t imagine how it felt doing this almost every week.

“ Less exciting bit of the day done. ” Mick came up behind her, his arms circling her waist as she turned around to take a few pictures of the sunny paddocks. It wasn’t the usual weather for the German GP, and it looked quite mesmerizing with the sun shining onto the circuit for once. “ Hopefully the weather can stay the same for the race. ” He added with a sigh but a grin got on his face when the camera was turned and Y/N took a selfie of them, almost immediately sending it to their two-family group chat.

“ I wouldn’t mind a bit of sunbathing either. ” She nodded, sliding her phone back into her pockets and turned towards Mick to hug him back. They had a bit of time before he had to get back to the team building and get on with the schedule. “ I’ll probably just catch up with your family while you have meetings, and then meet the team during lunch. If you have enough time of course. ” Y/N added, still looking up at him, remembering that his family is attending the race too. They couldn’t come to all of them, but as they were here already, it wasn’t difficult for them to stay a few days longer and watch the race.

“ We will probably. The race starts later anyway. ” Mick nodded, only letting go of her when they had to get going. Even then he held her hand, pulling Y/N closer when it got crowded around them, so he wouldn’t lose her among all the people. “ I’m gonna go and find you afterwards. Have fun. ” They shared a quick kiss as they arrived at the building and went their different ways. Mick inside for his meetings while Y/N tried to not get lost as she got to the part of the paddocks where Mick’s family sat down for a coffee.

Luckily a few minutes later she was already sitting next to Gina with a coffee in front of her, meaning she didn’t take a wrong turn anywhere. Thanks to Y/N studying away from Germany and Mick travelling around the world they don’t always get to talk in person. It was mostly just phone calls or FaceTime calls when she was with Mick. She sometimes talked to Gina as they weren’t too far apart in age and had a few interests in common, but not as much with Corinna, even though she felt like a second mother to her. She never thought her boyfriend’s family would become such a big part of her life. Actually, until Mick they never really mattered to her, but Corinna and Gina had such a positive attitude towards their relationship and her from the first second she was introduced to them, that they felt like a second family. If Mick’s friends were just a bit like his family she had nothing to fear.

“ Oh Corinna, didn’t know you guys are gonna be here. ” Looking to their right they saw Seb coming up to them, and greeting everyone with a quick hug before he turned to Y/N. “ And even bigger surprise. It’s great to see you here finally. ” He said with a grin, stepping back after their embrace so they all could see Lance coming up to them. Probably because of Seb and not them.

“ I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Y/N. ” She didn’t know where the courage came from to be so straight forward but hoped it won’t disappear in the next few minutes. She knew Seb pretty well already, as he was around Mick even on off days, and him being there helped her with opening up to Lance a bit.

“ I’m Lance and no, not yet. Although I’ve heard about you. ” Lance let out a little laugh while Y/N’s eyes went a bit wider than usual. “ Only good things. ” He added with a comforting smile, not wanting to scare her that she’s always a topic between them. She did remember a few occasions when Mick mentioned that he talks with Lance too, and not just Seb, but she never asked about the subject.

As they didn’t have to go anywhere, everyone decided that they would wait until Mick got to them. Since they arrived in the country they didn’t have more than a minute to sit still and talk with him, so they weren’t about to give up such a possibility. Y/N knew that Mick wouldn’t mind either, as he was always happy to catch up with friends, and after just a few minutes she didn’t mind either. Lance turned out to be a sweet person, just as Seb always was towards her and she actually was glad they met, and got to talk a little bit.

“ Are you usually travelling with him? ” Lance asked a bit later when they mentioned the next race and if she feels like attending again with all these new experiences.

“ Mostly just during the summer when uni is off my schedule. I usually just explored the cities while he raced. ” Y/N nodded a little, drinking the last bits of her coffee. “ Looks like I will watch the races instead of acting like a tourist. The timing is lucky, as I was about to run out of places to look at. ” She added with a smile, letting the waitress take away her empty cup.

“ Not many of us can get their partners to travel with them. He’s lucky with you in several ways. ” Lance let out a sigh, making Y/N blush and she was about to speak up when she felt two palms rest onto her shoulder.

“ I for sure am, even if I didn’t hear why. ” The owner of the hands spoke up, and a smile got on Y/N’s voice as she immediately recognized Mick’s voice, looking up at him for a second. “ Looks like you’re gonna meet everyone important on the first day. ” He glanced down at her before pulling a chair next to them so he could sit down too after greeting everyone.

“ I never feared your friends. The team is another different question. ” Y/N shook her head a little, looking at him for a bit too long before getting back to the conversation that got disrupted. They stayed right until lunchtime hit and they had to leave for their separate team building while Corinna and Gina went for a walk before the race.

The team members were intimidating at first as there were many of them and they were all curious about her, asking questions so they could get to know her. Luckily minutes after they sat down with their plates of food, everyone calmed down a little and they could finally find the common voice. In the end the meal was an experience that she could put onto the positive part of the list of the day. In the end she even found a few people to talk to while Mick was getting ready. She did go up to his drivers room a few minutes before they would leave, to have a few words with him before the race. He was already in his racing suit, although it was just halfway done, with the top half hanging down from his waist, and for a second Y/N forgot why she was there actually. Somehow the thin white material looked just as good on him as being shirtless did.

“ You’re off to the stands? ” Mick’s voice got her back from thoughts-land and she nodded as soon as her brain finally understood the question. “ We can meet here after the race if you want. They will let you guys in without any trouble. ” He offered, Y/N again just nodding as she didn’t trust her voice until he stepped back a little.

“ Yeah, that sounds good. ” She finally spoke up when Mick stepped back for one more thing and she felt like she could breathe again. “ Be careful. ” Y/N added, returning the quick kiss he initiated and it was a fight with herself to step back and leave the room. It was her first time she was here to witness moments like these, and Y/N couldn’t understand why she made the wait so long for herself.

From the moment she left the building everything happened as they discussed. She watched Mick race everyone and give his all from the stands, sitting next to Gina. They celebrated together with the crowd when the cars crossed the finish line for the last time and while he got the car back to the garage and parked it, they walked back down there. All three of them let the team congratulate him for a fantastic drive, before they stepped up to him one by one, Y/N closing the line. She didn’t really care as this way she could stay next to Mick from the moment he hugged her and didn’t have to step away until he went to change into normal clothing. In the end, even though they planned a private dinner, Y/N felt so secure with his team that they joined them in the hotel restaurant and celebrated the race together with everyone else working next to Mick and his teammate. However Y/N imagined this day would turn out, it exceeded all her expectations.

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440mxs-wife · 3 years

Text

Coming Home

(photo courtesy of IMDb)

Pairing: Leonard “Bones” McCoy x Reader. Other Characters: Captain Jim Kirk, Sulu, Uhura, Spock, Scotty, Nurse Chapel, Joanna McCoy and Jocelyn McCoy

Word Count: 6594

Warnings: A bit of angst as there usually is with exes, medical incident, topped off with fluff and a little implied smut.

Prompt: “Did you ever plan on telling me?”

Summary: Reader left Dr. McCoy and the Enterprise eight years ago for reasons unknown. Captain Kirk has decided to get her to come back, so he offers her a position in the ship’s Botany Department and Lab. How will her ex-boyfriend and CMO Dr. McCoy react to seeing her after all these years?

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Jim, I just don't think it's a good idea," you told him, shaking your head. Captain James T Kirk was in your apartment, trying to convince you to rejoin him on the USS Enterprise.

"Why not? It's been, what, eight years now? Surely he's forgiven you by now," Kirk replied.

"Even if he has, which I doubt, I haven't forgiven me yet. We haven't even spoken since I left. No, I can't come back, Jim. You need things to run smoothly on that ship of yours. I would only upset the applecart," you affirmed.

"Please? You're the best botanist in Starfleet, and we really need you. Sulu can bring you up to speed on all of his latest findings with the plants we've catalogued in the past few years. Besides, there are others who would be happy to see you return to the ship," Kirk pressed.

You bit your bottom lip in concentration. Jim could tell you were close to cracking under his persuasive argument. You missed your 'girl talk' sessions with Uhura, even though monthly subspace messages have kept you in touch. They just haven't been the same as being together in person. If you came back, you might even start a lively discussion with Spock on Vulcan vs. Human philosophy.

If you went back, you know Jim would make your return as smooth as possible. He was right, that others would be happy to see you again. However, there was at least one crew member that you were fairly certain would not share in everyone's enthusiasm at seeing you back on the Enterprise.

Dr. Leonard. McCoy.

The two of you had been in a relationship for about four years prior to your departure. You shared the same quarters, during which time you were blissfully happy and in love. Leonard was the light of your life, and you saw him in every scenario in your future. Marriage, family, retirement from active duty, maybe eventually a house somewhere.

All of that came crashing down the night of his daughter's birthday party, when Joanna was turning 13. Two weeks after it happened and without explanation, you left Leonard and the Enterprise.

You had no intention of ever returning to the ship. You were content in your teaching position at Starfleet HQ and to stay at home, maintaining your garden. That is, until a blonde-haired, blue-eyed captain came knocking on your door, asking you to come back.

"So?" Kirk asked.

"I'll need to pack a few things, make some arrangements," you sighed.

"Ship leaves here in five days, will that be enough time?" Kirk inquired.

"I suppose it'll have to be, won't it. You're not exactly leaving me with much choice," you retorted. "Don't worry, Jim. I'll be there, ready to assist you however I can," you promised. I just don't know if I'm ready to face him again, not after all these years that have gone by, you thought to yourself.

As if he heard you, Jim nudged your arm. "Maybe this is just the opportunity you two need, you know, to clear the air. Much as you may not think so, the two of you belong together," Jim concluded softly.

"I have a feeling that one way or another, the situation between Len and me will soon be resolved," you replied.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you re-materialized on the transporter pad, you were surprised to see so many of your friends waiting to welcome you back. Sulu, Chekhov, Scotty, Uhura and even Spock had made the trip down to Transporter Room #3, along with the captain to await your return. The only one absent was Dr. McCoy, but you didn't expect him to show up. Not willingly anyway.

You stepped down from the transporter pad and were immediately engulfed in Uhura's embrace. She rambled on about when the first 'girl talk' night should be while you traded hugs with Sulu and Chekhov.

"Hello, Commander. It is agreeable to see you again," Spock greeted you.

"It's nice to see you, too, Spock," you smiled as you pulled him into a hug before he could stop you. "Mr. Scott, always a delight," you gushed.

"Aye, lassie, it's good to have ye home again," Scotty beamed.

"Thank you. It's good to be--" your greeting was interrupted by the transporter room doors sliding open. The moment of truth had finally arrived, where the next few words spoken would set the tone for the time to come.

"God in Heaven," McCoy whispered. His mouth suddenly went dry at seeing you again after eight years. He could see that the years had been kind to you, because to him, you were even more beautiful than before. His heart did a mini-flip in his chest, but almost immediately afterwards, his brain and his memory re-engaged.

McCoy coughed and cleared his throat in an effort to regain his composure. "Commander," he said gruffly, nodding his head sharply at you. "Jim, a word please?" he asked, then turned and left the transporter room without sparing you a second glance. Tears sprang to your eyes but did not fall.

"Excuse me, everyone," Kirk replied. As he passed by you, he caught your hand and squeezed lightly. "Don't worry, remember what I said about opportunities?" he asked and you nodded. "Don't waste 'em," he said with a wink.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"How could you do this, Jim? How could you allow her back on board after what happened between us? The woman I love broke my heart when she left me--the ship!" McCoy thundered.

"Well, Bones, let's start with the fact that we need someone to head the Botany Department and Lab, and she's the best. Then we'll fill in the middle with how I don't think either one of us knows exactly what happened to make her leave. And we'll end with, oh, because it's my ship, I'm the captain and if I say we need her, then she re-joins the crew," Kirk concluded.

"Fine. If that will be all, Captain?" McCoy replied, voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Yes, Bones, that will be all," Kirk responded. McCoy turned to leave when Kirk briefly called him back. "For what it's worth, you could look at this as an opportunity to clear the air between you. At least you'd know, once and for all why she left, instead of always assuming it's your fault."

McCoy mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the captain's Ready Room. Kirk shook his head at his CMO's antics when it came to you. He knew the two of you still loved each other, and firmly believed that you belonged together.

Kirk wished he knew what happened all those years ago to make you think your only choice was to leave your family and the man you loved. Something told him that whatever it was, it was bound to come out into the open. Hopefully when it did and the dust settled, everything would return to some semblance of normal.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The first few weeks aboard ship were a bit awkward. You were trying to get used to a working schedule again, and on top of that, trying to avoid the CMO at every turn. It didn't help that you had mutual friends who didn't hesitate to offer their advice on how to resolve things. They all swore they only wanted what was best for you and the good doctor. However, only the two of you could decide what that looked like, and at least for now, that meant avoiding each other.

One day, you were in the lab, cataloguing plant samples gathered during an away mission to Taegus-3. You made sure your team was taking extra safety precautions when handling the samples. "Be careful around these plants, some may have thorns. We also don't know yet if they're poisonous, so for now, use the bio-suits and the thick rubber gloves."

You were walking through Station #2 where a member of your team was performing tests on one of the samples. The young ensign turned away from her station, while you made notes on your clipboard about the plant she was working with.

As you were asking her some questions about her work, you felt something snaking its way around your exposed forearm. By the time you realized what was happening, the plant had started to apply pressure to your now vine-wrapped arm. Sulu heard the commotion and rushed over with a knife, which he then used to cut the vine from your arm. The vine fell away, but left red burn marks in your arm wherever the vine had come into contact with the skin.

"You'd better head down to the MedBay and have someone take a look at that," Sulu advised.

You looked at Sulu like you'd rather have the vine back on your arm, squeezing the life out of it until it snapped off than deal with Dr. McCoy. Eventually you relented and left the lab to get yourself checked out in the MedBay. You only hoped that it was Dr. McCoy's day off, because you didn't think you could deal with him at the moment.

Unfortunately, luck was not to be on your side today. Nurse Chapel called for him as soon as she saw you walk in the door. She had you sit on the biobed and started to check your vital signs. While she was discussing them with Dr. McCoy, a wave of dizziness crashed over you. It was also getting harder to breathe, which was detected by the biobed and it started sending out alarms.

McCoy and Nurse Chapel came racing over to you. "Damn plant must give off some sort of toxin when it wraps around its victims. Hold on, sweetheart, stay with me. We'll get you taken care of, don't you worry," he soothed.

As comforting as his words were, you knew he was in 'doctor mode'. It came naturally to him to use soft terms like 'sweetheart' to put his patients at ease. You knew those words didn't hold any affection towards you anymore like they used to. Whatever feelings may have been implied towards you by his words were likely to be a thing of the past.

"Hold still now, we're going to give you something to counteract the toxin," McCoy explained. He attached a hypospray to your neck and pressed the button to release the medication. Almost immediately, your breathing became easier and the dizziness slowly dissipated. In the meantime, he took the opportunity to bandage the vein-like burns in your forearm.

Once your condition seemed to be stabilized, all you could think of was to get out of the MedBay and back to your quarters. You eased yourself down from the biobed and took a few tentative steps towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute, where do you think you're going?" McCoy demanded.

"Back to my quarters, Dr. McCoy. I thank you and Nurse Chapel for your assistance, but I can take care of myself from here. I hereby relieve you of your obligation to monitor my health any further," you retorted.

"I really don't think that's a good idea, sweetheart," he replied. "You could have a relapse, or develop a complication, or--" he started.

"DON'T. You don't get to call me 'sweetheart', or 'darlin', or anything that would indicate you remotely have any feelings of affection for me anymore," you shot back. Tears began prickling at your eyes, threatening to fall. "Ever since I got here, you've been avoiding me. In the mess hall, the rec area, even the turbolift for goodness' sake," you explained.

"Me?!? As far as I see it, Commander, it's been mutual avoidance. This is as much interaction as I've had with you since the day I saw you in Transporter Room #3. So, don't pin all of this on me," he snapped.

"I'm pretty sure you're not happy that I'm here, so I figured I'd stay out of your way as much as possible. To that end, I'm leaving and going back to my quarters," you informed him calmly.

"Yeah, that's right, I almost forgot. Leaving, that is what you do best, isn't it?" McCoy sneered.

You stopped walking towards the door, overcome by a sob too painful to hold in anymore. After taking a deep breath, you turned your tear-stained face to Dr. McCoy. "I suppose you're right. I've had that coming to me for the last eight years, haven't I?" you asked tearfully. You turned back towards the doors then left the MedBay and headed straight for your quarters.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After you left, McCoy stood there, with his hands on his hips and shaking his head. He wondered how the situation with you ever got to this point. He remembered how much in love the two of you were, sharing quarters, intertwining lives. For him, you were his whole world, the one he saw his future unfolding with. You loved him despite his flaws and the fact that he constantly thought that he didn't deserve you.

Your mutual friends were rooting for you both, and Joanna loved you as well. The two of you got along well, no hint of jealousy from her when it came to spending time with her father. He remembered how flattered you were when Joanna had once asked for your advice on something.

Jocelyn didn't seem to like you, but then again, she didn't love much of anything to do with him, except Joanna. On more than a few occasions, he'd heard Jocelyn throw snide remarks your way. But as was your nature, you took the high road, and Leonard felt you had handled his ex-wife with grace.

Then came Joanna's birthday party. He'd seen you and Jocelyn talking about something, then when you left her, you looked a little shaken up. McCoy didn't think much of it at the time, but you seemed a little distracted after the encounter. He tried to get you to talk to him about it, however, you assured him that you were tired and just needed some rest to feel better.

Two weeks after the party, without any prior discussion, you had left the Enterprise for a teaching position. Just like that, you were gone from his life, but not remotely gone from his heart. He'd met other women over the past eight years, but none of them could ever hold a candle to you. And deep down, Leonard McCoy knew that no one else ever would.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Back in your quarters, you went straight for the bathroom to splash water on your face as a way to calm down. How dare he! you thought. You had stayed away from him because you thought that's what he wanted. After all it was you who left him. Even though in your mind you knew it was for a good reason, there were still at least two broken hearts at the end of it.

You suddenly remembered what day it was, so you finished drying off your face with a towel. Today was Joanna McCoy's birthday, and she was turning 21, an important milestone. You hoped she was available to take your call, but if not, you would leave a birthday message for her.

Despite no longer being together with her father, you still kept in touch with Joanna over the years. She was a ray of sunshine in Leonard's life, and in yours as well. The last you had heard, she was participating in Starfleet's medical program, thus following in her father's footsteps.

You opened up the comms to send your message request to Joanna. A minute or so later, your video screen lit up with her smiling face and frantic waving at the camera. "Happy Birthday, Joanna!" you grinned.

"Thank you! It's so good to hear from you," she exclaimed.

"I sure wish I could give you a hug for your birthday, sweetie. How's school going for you?" you asked.

She launched into a few tales from her classes, with you nodding and smiling. One of her stories had you busting out in laughter so hard that tears were coming out of your eyes. For the most part, she had achieved the right balance between school and having fun, not an easy task.

"Hey, so Uncle Jim told me you're back on the Enterprise, is that right?" Joanna asked.

"Yes, that's right. Your uncle visited me about six weeks ago and asked me to run the Botany Department and Lab. I wasn't sure about coming back, but he eventually wore me down," you gave a small smile.

"Has he....has Dad seen you? Have you talked to him?" she asked carefully.

You nodded. "I had to go to the MedBay today, due to an unfortunate encounter with a plant from Taegus-3. It wrapped around my arm and wouldn't let go. I had to get a hypo for an allergic reaction, and bandages for my arm. Your dad patched me up just right," you explained.

"Good. Um....I have to ask you something. Do you remember my 13th birthday party?" she inquired.

"Joanna....," you warned.

"Do you remember it?" she tried again. You nodded and she continued. "I know something happened there, because two weeks later, you and Dad weren't together anymore. Why? You two were so happy together, and then you left. What happened?" Joanna demanded.

"Something I can't talk about, Jo, but my leaving was for the best. The best for you and the best for your dad," you replied.

"Best?!? How could it be best for you and Dad to be without each other for this long? Didn't you love him anymore? Was it my mom? Did she say something to you at that party?" Joanna persisted.

At her question, you looked away, and you knew you'd only fueled her curiosity. "Of course I still love him. I told you Joanna, I can't talk about it. Please don't push me on this. Listen, sweetie, I have to go now, but I wanted to wish you a happy birthday. Take care, honey," you said.

"But---" was the last you'd heard of her voice before you terminated the connection. In the reflection of the view screen, you could see tears sliding down your face. You decided that you needed a drink, so you left your quarters and headed for the recreation area.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" Captain Kirk said as he saw you sitting at the bar.

You groaned at his presence, only wanting to be left alone. "Oh, god, Jim. What are YOU doing here?" you retorted.

"I heard you got hurt and went to MedBay today. Then I went by your quarters to check on you, only to find out you're not there. Figured I'd get a drink, and here you are," he replied.

"Jim, don't take this pershonally," you slurred. "But I want to be left alone. M'kay? Been a rotten day and I'm jusht done," you remarked as you drained your glass and signaled for a refill.

"What happened today?" he persisted.

"You think that just because you have that perfect hair and those bright blue eyes that I'm just gonna spill my guts?" you asked. A smirk crossed his face as he waited expectantly. "Fine. I'll tell you, you insufferable man. I called Joanna McCoy today, since it's her 21st birthday," you started.

"Thanks for the reminder, I'll have to call her later," Kirk interjected.

"Anyway, the topic of conversation got around to her 13th birthday party. She asked me why her dad and I aren't together anymore," you explained, tears threatening again.

"What did you tell her?" Kirk asked.

"I told her the same thing I'm going to tell you. I can't talk about it, but I did what I thought was best for her and for Leonard," you replied. "Now, drop it, Jim," you warned.

"Sorry, no can do. Bones and I both saw Jocelyn talking to you at the party, then the rest of the night you seemed a little upset. Don't get me wrong, you put on a brave face. You fooled most everyone, but Leonard and I knew that something wasn't right. Look, it's been eight years. Don't you think it's time to spill the beans?" Kirk wondered.

"Jim, no good can come from this. Best just to let sleeping dogs lie," you said as you tried again to shut him down.

"Please, let me in. I can see how much this is hurting you, and I think Len finally deserves to know the truth. Don't you think so?" Kirk pleaded.

A few tears had slipped down your face, and you nodded, your resolve having broken at last. "It started when I was in the kitchen putting candles on Joanna's cake. I thought I would do that to make myself useful, help Jocelyn so it was one less thing she had to worry about. Wrong move, because she read me the riot act about how it's her job to do that and I should just back off," you said.

"Ungrateful b....please go on," he prompted.

"I apologized, but she refused to accept it. Instead, she gave me an ultimatum. I had to stop seeing Leonard or she would refuse to let him see Joanna. At first, I couldn't believe she was serious, but one look in her eyes and I knew she was. That's why I was so distant the rest of the night. I tried to put Leonard off by saying I was just tired, but I don't think he was convinced," you remarked.

"Why didn't you tell Len? Or me? We would've found a way to fight this," Kirk insisted.

"I know you would have, and I love you both for it. She said if I told anyone, her next stop was the courthouse. Don't you see? She held all the cards, and I had nothing," you explained.

"You didn't have 'nothing', you had Len and me," Kirk replied.

"Think about it. If I fought her, then she took Len to court and he lost, it's my fault. If I refused to stop seeing Leonard, she would not let him see his daughter. My fault again. Either way, Jim, Leonard and Joanna lose. I couldn't bear for that to happen, so I left. As much as I loved him, and still do, his relationship with his daughter is and always will be more important," you finished. Tears were now streaming unchecked down your face.

"Whoa. I knew she was a piece of work, but I didn't know exactly how much. Bones would be livid if he found out that Jocelyn is the reason you're not together," Kirk replied.

"And that's exactly why I didn't want to tell you. Jim, please, I'm begging you. Let this go," you implored as you slid off your barstool. Jim turned to you and pulled you into his comforting embrace. "I'm going to go sleep this off, okay? I'll be taking a sick day tomorrow," you added. "Goodnight, Jim."

"Goodnight," he called after you then returned his attention to his drink.

"Poor kid. Hate to see a pretty girl cry. So, knowing you, I'd bet that you have no intention of letting this go, do you, Captain?" Tony, the bartender, asked.

"Nope," he replied, downing the rest of his drink. "I gotta find a way to make this right if it's the last thing I do. Thanks, Tony," he said before leaving to go to his quarters. Once there, he opened a comms channel to send a message to his niece. The video screen popped up with Joanna's picture.

"Uncle Jim!! So great to see you," she gushed.

"Happy Birthday, honey. Listen, I know about a conversation you had earlier, that involved a certain someone and your dad," Kirk remarked. "I finally got her to tell me what happened at your birthday party."

"She told me she couldn't tell me, but she could tell you?" Joanna asked angrily.

"Hold on there, sweetie. In her defense, she'd had a lot to drink by the time I caught up with her," Kirk explained.

"Oh. Well, I asked Mom about it, but she wouldn't tell me either. Please tell me what happened, I want to know," Joanna begged.

"Sure thing, kiddo. Then we're going to brainstorm on how to get the two of them back together," Kirk winked.

"Ooh yay! So, tell me," she persisted.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dr. McCoy trudged into his quarters and sat down on the couch. He grabbed a communication tablet and sent a signal to his daughter, to wish her a happy birthday. Unfortunately, Jocelyn picked up the tablet and answered.

"Joanna's busy right now, Leonard. Call her back later," Jocelyn replied curtly as she moved to disconnect the call.

"Wait, Jocelyn! Will you please let her know that I called to wish her a happy birthday?" McCoy asked.

"Your girlfriend already called earlier and spoke to Joanna. I just assumed you were in the room at the time," Jocelyn remarked.

"What girlfriend? I don't know what you're talking about," McCoy replied. He was starting to get an uneasy feeling the more he talked to his ex-wife.

Jocelyn made a tsking sound of disgust. "The same one that was here on Joanna's 13th--" she broke off and a smug smile crossed her face. "Never mind. I guess she took my advice then."

McCoy's face drained of color. "And just what advice was that? It's been eight years, Jocelyn, you'll have to refresh my memory," he retorted.

"What difference does it make? She must not have been as devoted to you as you were to her. She left you, therefore, you got to keep seeing your daughter," Jocelyn shot back.

The pieces started to come together in McCoy's mind, and it was showing him a pretty ugly picture. "You threatened her. Didn't you?" he seethed. "Why, Jocelyn? What has she ever done to you?" he demanded.

"Joanna called her 'Mom', that's what!" Jocelyn exclaimed. "When Joanna came home from that week-long vacation with the two of you, she was telling me about how much fun she'd had. She slipped and referred to your girlfriend as 'Mom'. I am her mother! I will not be replaced by some flavor-of-the-month!" she shrieked.

"ENOUGH, MOM!" Joanna's voice came through clearly. "Hi, Dad," she greeted McCoy.

"Hiya, pumpkin," he drawled. "Happy Birthday, sweetheart," he replied softly. "Did you know about this?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

"Dad, nobody knew anything about it until she told Uncle Jim tonight. And he said that it was only after a lot of alcohol that she would even tell him. She's kept this horrible secret for all this time, because she wanted you to be happy and able to keep visiting me. She still loves you, Dad, I know she does. Please tell me you still love her," Joanna pleaded.

McCoy turned his face away from the view screen, but not before his daughter caught a glimpse of his watery eyes. "I never stopped loving her, Jo. Not even when she left. I was angry and hurt, but....yes, I still love her," he declared, his voice thick with emotion.

"Then you know what you have to do, Daddy. Go tell her," Joanna whispered the last part. "Consider it my birthday present," she grinned mischievously. "I love you."

"You got it, sweetheart. I'll let you know how it goes. Later, though," McCoy promised with a grin of his own. "I love you," he told her before the call disconnected.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The view screen clicked off, while McCoy digested all of the information he'd just been given. All these years, he mused. The two of you could've been happy together, maybe even engaged or married. Instead, his ex-wife and her jealousy got in the way of that with her threats of denying him visitation rights.

He'd been so wrapped up in his own emotions since you've been back, that he hadn't stopped to consider how you may be feeling. He had been convinced that the reason you left was because you didn't love him anymore. Now he knew that the exact opposite was true. You loved him so much that you sacrificed your own happiness with him so he could continue to see his daughter.

Leonard knew that he had to make things right between you. It couldn't have been easy to come back to work on the Enterprise, knowing at any moment you could run into each other. But, you pushed those feelings and worries aside to help Jim by running the Botany Department and Lab.

He had to admit, it's been awkward since you've been back. He didn't expect the old feelings of love to come rushing back at the first sight of you that day in Transporter Room #3. As much as your leaving had hurt him and the radio silence throughout the years, he still loved you. And now, he grinned to himself, it was time to do something about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You left the rec area and had gone back to your quarters for the night. When you got back, you changed out of your uniform and put on your pink plaid pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. You made sure it was short-sleeved because of the bandages on your arm from the Strangling Vine Incident earlier in the day. After grabbing a glass of water and two pain meds, you settled into place on the couch. "Computer, illumination at 30% please," you requested.

What a day. First you were attacked by an alien vine, forcing you to get checked out in the MedBay by your ex-boyfriend and CMO. Later, you couldn't even find peace in the rec area. The CMO's best friend and captain of the ship kept hounding you about something that took place eight years ago. You'd told him to drop it, but he refused until you spilled that horrible secret.

Now Jim knows, but knowing about it didn't change anything. No matter how much you still loved him, Leonard surely didn't love you anymore. He'd made that quite clear today with his parting remark as you left the MedBay. You continued to sip at your water, each tilt of the glass with a shakier hand than before.

Off in the distance you heard your door chime, indicating someone at your door. "Come in," you called. You were shocked to see Dr. McCoy walk in. "Excuse me for asking, Doctor, but what the hell are you doing here?" you demanded, arms crossed over your chest.

His eyes locked with yours and you almost gave in to the softness you thought you saw, but you stood your ground. He cleared his throat before speaking. "I'm here to check your bandages. You left the MedBay so quickly, I wanted to make sure that the wound was still covered," he explained.

You rolled your eyes. "Really, Doctor? Is that the best excuse you could come up with? You didn't even bring your medkit, and I really don't have time for this. Goodnight, Dr. McCoy," you retorted.

"Now wait just a minute. As Chief Medical Officer, I am responsible for the health and safety of all crew members. I can see right now that you look a little flushed, which could mean a fever and possibly an infection. Just a quick exam. It'll be painless, I promise," he pleaded, his hands raised.

You arched an eyebrow in skepticism but finally relented. "Fine. A quick exam, then I'm going to bed and you can see yourself out," you muttered.

He stood in front of you, first looking at the bandaged arm, then sliding his hands up your arms to rest on your shoulders. He peered into your eyes and could see how bloodshot they were, probably from the tears you'd been shedding lately. He checked the lymph nodes on your neck to see if they were swollen, but they were fine.

He patted down his uniform, checking his pockets. "Hmm. I don't have a tricorder with me, so I'll have to check your temp the old fashioned way," he remarked. Before you could utter a word, his lips meshed with your forehead.

The second his soft lips touched your skin, something inside you fluttered. You closed your eyes and gave a sigh of contentment before you could stop yourself. "Doctor....," you whispered.

"Shh. Still checkin' your temp, darlin'. And it's Leonard, by the way. You used to call me that, remember?" he murmured against your skin.

Your eyes flew open and you stepped back. "Wait a minute. Why are you really here?" you asked.

"I already told you, to check your bandages. Besides, I want to apologize for what happened earlier in the MedBay, as you were walking out. I shouldn't have said that," McCoy started.

You backed further away from him as the realization sunk in. "Oh no, no, no, you've been talking to Jim, haven't you?" you replied. "I told him to drop it, that no good can come from dredging up something that happened eight years ago. Dammit, does that man ever listen?" you ranted, pacing the floor.

"Hold on there for a minute, sweetheart. I didn't talk to Jim, I called Joanna to wish her a happy birthday. Jocelyn picked up because Joanna was busy. Jocelyn was the one who admitted what happened, not Jim," McCoy explained.

"Leonard, I'm so sorry about what happened all those years ago. I truly thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. But all I've done is cause tremendous heartache for the people I love," you admitted, breaking down into tears yet again.

McCoy walked over and put his arms around you, holding you close to his chest. His hand came up and stroked the back of your head. "Shh, it’s okay, darlin'. I just wish I had known about it then. You never should've had to shoulder that burden all by yourself. Did you ever plan on telling me?" he asked.

You leaned back just far enough to lock eyes with him. "I couldn't, Len. Jocelyn said if I did, she would take you to court and fix it so you couldn't see Joanna at all. I know that custody hearings can go either way, and there's no way I could take the chance that you might lose. So I thought my only option was to step aside. I'd rather have you hate me but keep visitation rights for your daughter, than to love me and not have her," you said as you broke down again.

"Oh, Sugar, I could never hate you," he replied softly, brushing your cheek with the back of his hand. "When I found out that you left, I was so angry and hurt. Mostly because you'd made a decision alone that affected both of us. But when you came back and I saw you on that transporter pad all those weeks ago, I thought I had a second chance. Probably screwed that up too, though, haven't I?" he chuckled and so did you.

"Nah. You haven't done anything of the sort. I have missed you so much. After enough time had gone by, I thought about reaching out to you. Then I figured that too much time had gone by and you'd be with someone else. Which would've been fine, as long as you were happy, that's all that would matter to me," you remarked.

"Well, I haven't exactly been living like a monk, you know. I've met other women over the years, but none of them compared to you and no one ever will, either. Which is good, because I don't want any pale imitations or substitutions. I only want the real thing," he admitted just before crashing his lips into yours.

You felt the depth of his emotion poured into that first kiss and returned it with equal fervor. The apologies, the regrets, the longing for each other you still had after all these years. And the love you'd been keeping hidden from each other but never fully let show until now.

"Oh, my love," you whispered. "I've missed you so much, Leonard," you replied hoarsely.

"I've missed you too. I love you so much, Sugar. Can we please agree to not ever be separated like that again? I don't think my heart can take another minute without you," he remarked.

"Mine either. No more separations like that, because with you is where I belong. I love you, Len," you declared. You ran your hands up his arms and cradled his neck between them. Your fingers slid through his jet-black hair, smirking as you teased the short hairs at the base of his collar.

"Oh, there's my naughty girl, I wondered where she'd gone," McCoy growled playfully as he tightened his embrace.

"She's been right here, all along. Just waiting for the right time to come home," you replied softly, then tugged him closer for another kiss.

This kiss was different than before. This one was slow, sensuous and held the promise of a new beginning. As your mouths moved against each other, there was just enough of an opening between you for Leonard's tongue to slip through. He took full advantage of the opportunity, and when your tongues met, a moan of pleasure escaped from you.

Leonard's hands roamed up and down your back as he nudged his way to your neck. "Darlin', you're so beautiful," he murmured against your skin. He left a few open-mouthed kisses on your collarbone, nipping as he went and ultimately leaving his mark on you for all to see.

Layers of clothing were shed one by one. Little by little, Leonard nudged you backwards until the back of your knees hit the bed. You climbed up onto the mattress, crawling until you reached the middle where he soon joined you and leaned down to kiss you.

His hands and mouth took their time in worshiping every inch of your exposed skin, as if re-committing it to memory. Your mouth and hands were doing the same, reacquainting yourself with every muscle, every detail of his exquisite bare body.

The silence of your room was punctuated with breathy words of affection and moans of ecstasy from the two of you. Layers of passion were built higher and higher as you both chased your release. Finally, you both tumbled over the edge, one after the other, each whispering declarations of love.

Later, after you both got cleaned up, Leonard came back to bed and settled under the covers with you. He wrapped his arm around you so that your head rested on his chest. You could hear his steady heartbeat, which brought out a sigh of contentment from you.

"Len?" you whispered. He hummed in response, drawing random patterns on your shoulder. "Is this okay? I mean, what just happened, I don't want this to be a one-time thing. I'd like us to try again. I-If that's what you want," you hastily added.

He shifted so that he was propped up on his side, looking down at you. His hand cupped your face, while his thumb caressed your cheek. "Sweetheart, I've wanted that ever since you set foot back on this ship. I may be a little late in sayin' so, but I never stopped lovin' you. If you'll have me, I would love to try being us again," he replied softly.

"I would love that very much," you answered. "I love you, Leonard."

"I love you too, darlin'. Welcome home," he whispered, pulling you in for a long, slow kiss.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

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Transcript of End of the Road Special

Transcript of End of the Road Special.

Please let me know if I made any errors in transcription. Twitter version Family Don’t End with Blood Transcription Winchester Mythology Transcription

Dabb: Ultimately, we came up with something that we're all very proud of Singer: You never know what the audience is going to like so we really tried to say "what would make us happy? Would we be satisfied with where we've taken them?"

The Carry On song was a guideline.

Singer: The myth of what these brothers were throughout 15 years... We didn't shy away from fatalism, but we wanted to be able to have it be kinda uplifting as well.

Dabb: If you're going to do something that feels like a complete arc, you have to kinda go back to the beginning of it (clips of them hunting vamps from s1 & 15.20) When it comes to Sam & Dean- it's all about getting back to, in some ways, these two guys on the road in this car.

Dabb: They've been doing this job for 15 years now. They've fought everyone from demons to vampires to God himself, but at the end of the day, they're still working guys, out there on the road & taking cases. We've tried to never lose sight of that.

Dabb: There are times when we've been wrapped up in our own mythology a little bit. We've always tried to get back to the basics, which are: these two guys, saving people, hunting things.

Eugenie: I think we sort of knew generally what the ending would involve.

Eugenie: We might not have known the mechanics, but we sort of knew there would be a victorious, glorious sacrificial ending bc I think sacrifice is a big theme in the series.

For every great thing you do, a cost must be paid.

Singer: Andrew & I talked about it. We were in agreement pretty quickly... talked to the rest of the writing staff & let them know what we wanted to do and we were open to suggestions. And then we pretty much pitched it to Jared and Jensen.

Jensen talks about flying to LA. Jensen: So before we ever even started 15, we knew how the last portion of the story was going to go. We didn't know how we were going to get there, but we kinda knew the final- the finish line- we knew what... what that was going to look like.

Jared: I don't think there's ever been a season of SPN in 15 years where the way the writers thought the show would play out for that season- ended up being the way it played out And so we were aware of that. They told us here's what we're thinking, here's what happens to Castiel

Jared: In the finale, Dean dies & Sam lives on. And then we think they're going to meet up in heaven.

I remember Jensen... just because I know him so well- he seemed to bristle a little bit.

Jensen: It was hard to hear then & it was hard to read now. Not because I didn't like it, not because I wished it had gone differently... I'm not adverse to it. I think it's a great ending. I'm proud to film it.

Singer: And we just aimed for that, you know, throughout the season. We knew where we were going.

Jensen: Reading it & knowing that... there's just a weight that is so much larger reading these scripts than I've ever experienced before.

There's an emotional weight that these scripts are going to carry & these episodes are going to have that I don't think we've ever seen before.

Brad: [J2] were so young when all of this started. They brought to it such conviction & such commitment to the effort.

That's one of the things that kept the show going for so many years... a show that was designed for very young guys, footloose & fancy free, & on the road…

Brad: To see these guys grow up b4 your eyes into- men, not boys any longer- was amazing.

BABY Jared: Though the story does involve Sam & Dean chasing supernatural things, it really is a story about two brothers that love each other & ultimately will do anything for each other.

Jensen: There's really one person that gets it on the level that I get it, and that's Jared. Jared: I've never spent as much time with another human being as I have with Jensen Ackles. He will be my friend and brother forever. And I know that.

BABY Jensen: There's a lot of dynamics between the two brothers, there's a lot of history between them, there's a lot of banter between them... it's good stuff S15 Jensen: We had a partner in crime & we leaned on each other for, you know, for times when it was tough.

Jensen: But we also won together. We got to share the experience of success & the experience of getting picked up for another season. Watching these two characters go through what they're going through, when we're working 14 hours & it's 2-3 o’clock on a Sat morning and we're just now finishing filming out in the rain and mud and we gotta race to the airport to get on a plane because we've got a photoshoot in LA & we've gotta do on camera interviews and we gotta promote the show that we love so much that we were just in the mud & the rain filming hours before we're exhausted and it's like there's only one person that gets that right now. That gets how I feel and that's this guy standing next to me. That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool to have somebody like that.

Brad: We knew it was going to be impossible to tie up every aspect of all of the cans of worms that we opened up.

We did want to bring a proper ending to the guys, the guy's relationship.

Brad: Then of course we had this huge corner we painted ourselves into with the most powerful thing in the universe being the big bad of the season. We try and find a proper send off for Jack & for Cas. What to do w/ the boys & is that a together farewell or an individual?

It was just... lots of moving parts.

Dabb: I give a lot of credit to Bobo who really was the one who started banging the drum early & often to ending the mythology in 19 and end the characters in 20.

Brad: You're battling God & battling God & you have this epic situation going on through the first 3/4 of the show & then what? You send off Dean in act 4? That just felt wrong. Eugenie: We had this obligation, it was really mandatory, that we tie up the mythic narrative and leave the final episode for the emotional resolution. I [was] more on the side of not wanting to best God. To have God change to be more like his creations. So there were philosophical arguments, but we always knew God's resolution was going to be a big ticket item.

Jensen: We'd started day 1 of the 2nd to last episode, 19. We were 1 day down on that episode & we were just about to start our 2nd day & we got the call that morning that we were not going to be coming in that day.

Jensen: So we figured ok, we'll figure out protocol, figure out what we need to do, & we'll just regroup, come back on Monday. As that day progressed, it was like- this looks like more of an apocalypse that is ascending upon us than just a bad cold.

They pulled the plug & they said everybody go home.

Singer: Fortunately, we got assurance from both the studio & the network that one way or another we were gonna finish the series. That was comforting to us, but we didn't know when we were going to go back.

Eugenie: We didn't know what we were going back to... if this was the last time we would ever see the set. There was no plan. It was just get out of dodge. Dabb: When it first happened, we thought it would be a couple of weeks, maybe a month.

I had conversations w/WB where they expected everyone to be back shooting in June & then things got worse & pushed & pushed.

Eugenie: Slowly as we settled into that 4 or 5 month period, discussions were going on w/the studio, & the networks, & the actors. We knew there would be restrictions on what we were allowed to shoot, but finally, the mechanics were figured out.

Singer: So they were ready to go pretty quickly, shooting in Van, where covid wasn't quite as virulent as it was [in LA].

Dabb: We were one of the first shows, one of the first WB shows to start back up. So in a way, we were kinda a guinea pig. But, in being that, I think everyone took it really seriously. We had 0 positive tests. Crew members weren't going out on the weekends.

They were like look, if I get sick, it hurts the whole show. That speaks to the family culture up there, where we've had so much of our crew for so long. Where J2 & Singer provide such great leadership.

Singer: When I was in prep for 20, I was basically in the office but couldn't go to the set. It was very odd for me not to be able to go to the set while I was in prep.

Everybody just hung in there & did what they were supposed to do.

Brad: Then we were faced with the dilemma of having to rewrite a lot of the stuff bc of the pandemic bc of the limitations that we knew were going to come on the production.

Jensen: We were gearing up for, not only the end of that season, but the end of the series. There was a lot of big, big things written-packed- into those last two scripts.

Jared: At first, it was supposed to be a lot of our old cast from prior seasons in a Roadhouse with Kansas.

Everybody had already agreed. Kansas was going to be in Van. We were going to have dad there & mom there. Just probably 20 or 30 different actors & actresses who had been a part of the SPN's canon over the last 15 & a half years.

Jensen: It was scheduled to be the last day that we were going to film, so it was almost like rolling right into a nice wrap party on camera.

Brad: The idea of flying a boatload of ppl up there to quarantine for 2 weeks so they could shoot for a day was making less & less sense.

Eugenie: How do we make this work? And while you're doing that, you also don't want to sacrifice the heart and soul of the project.

So we came up with a reduced, much more intimate ending. It has been replaced by something equally magical & rewarding.

Singer: I felt an enormous responsibility in directing the finale of a show that's been on for 15 years. Andrew, when he saw the cut, he said some really nice things to me as to, you know, the way I handled the material.

Jensen: The scenes that were filmed on our last day on the sound stages were filled with the most emotion of the final episode.

Singer: One of the really hard things was we're on another stage that wasn't the MoL stage & they started wrecking the MoL sets

They'd been working on this set and been apart of this- this family for just as long if not longer than the set's been around. I was like "it's really sad seeing this get taken down" and the other guy said, "I'm trying to hold back tears while I'm swinging this hammer."

Jared: As we start saying goodbye to characters, to locations, like it just seems like every day you would wake up and there would be some reason to cry.

Misha: This is a show ultimately about love, & empathy, & caring, & I think that Castiel embodies that.

Misha: Half the crew was crying. It was really such a sweet, supporting environment to be in for the demise of a character that, of course, for me is really important.

But it was so lovely to see that, you know, the folks that I'm- I'm working with were also there for Cas at that moment.

Alex: To get to work with these caliber people & see your friends every day is really special & is not something that often happens in this business for this long. It's been definitely a topsy turvy last couple weeks here with us and the crew.

Jared: Friday of the final full week was the big scene in the barn with the vampires where Dean suffers his fate. They did the first two days with the entire stunt team & the young boy actors.

And then they cut it for Thursday night and they're like, okay, Friday, tomorrow, we’re starting the dialogue. Dean, you're on the post. Sam, you just cut off the last vampire's head.

That was the scene- that was where Supernatural was really encapsulated.

Jensen: And then the next week we kind of had this- on the road encore get together filmmaking scenario that felt more like we made it & it was more pats on the back as opposed to tearful goodbyes.

Dabb: In a weird way you can look at the 15 seasons is like Sam & Dean's emotional evolution. You know instead of therapy, they kill vampires, but other than that it's kind of the same & brings them both to a very good place. And a place where they can, as the song says, you know, lay their weary head to rest.

This felt like the most honest & emotionally fulfilling episode for these characters to us. Jared: I got thinking about how Supernatural started & how the majority of times how I thought it should end. It started with Sam & Dean Winchester. I think it's proper that it ended with Sam & Dean Winchester together again.

Jensen: When the cameras stop rolling & Bob yelled, “Cut!” and Bob yelled, “That’s a series wrap on Supernatural.” There was- a there was a loud cheer that echoed through that canyon we were filming in. I will- I will happily say that there were hugs that happened and that needed to happen. Those are people that I spent not just years with, but so much time with- it's like brothers in arms and so to put it to bed the way that we did felt really good and then felt good to hug some people, I'll tell you that much. Singer: I thanked everyone, but I wanted to really thank people who had been with us from the beginning and as I looked around, there were so many people who had been there from the beginning.

We really were a family. I always say about this show is one of the reasons that it was a success and is that it was not only about the Winchester family, but it was about the Supernatural family.

Jared: So now that's all said and done, I guess I can look back at it and just be proud that I helped this show carry on and I'm really proud of the blood, sweat, and tears that I put in, and I feel like- I feel like that sacrifice was also maybe one of the things I learned from Sam, you know? Sam had to sacrifice a lot. So, I'm honored and flattered and grateful that I got to be a part of that journey.

Dabb: You're never going to have another show like this. You're never gonna have another experience like this. For a lot of different reasons, from how long it ran, from the family that the show became, from the amazing fans that we have. [Footage of us] From the emotional investment people can put in over 15 years of their lives.

Some started watching this when they were in high school, when they were 15, they're 30 now, they might have kids. That's their- that's like half their life. They've been with this show. You're not gonna have that again. Shows just aren’t gonna run this long, especially genre shows, but I don't know that I'm ever gonna do anything else in my career that I'm gonna be more proud of than having been involved in this show.

Jared: The things that stick out are just how important it is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And keep on working and wake up every day and treat it like it could be your last and- and if you make it out the other side, you'll be happy and proud of what you did.

Jensen: The crew had packed up, they had cleared the bridge, and they were all starting to, you know, load their trucks and get moving. And Jared and I just kind of hung back, and we just took a moment. I looked at him and I said, “I’m proud of us, man. I'm proud of what we've done.”

We know that that's the collective we, that is everyone that is involved, that is- you know from the top down. You know, for our portion, for what we contributed to this monster of the show, he and I reflected on that, and still able to see and smell the roses.

#supernatural #spn #spnfamily #spn family #spn 15.20 #spn s15 #spn s15 spoilers #carry on #spn finale #spn spoilers #sam winchester #dean winchester #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #brotherlylove #sam&dean #brothers man #bts #actor opinions

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spike-and-faye · 3 years

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Hello, I require your infinite wisdom please!! :O So I just finished cowboy bebop and I am so confused like who the fuck was Julia. WHAT was Faye's past. I literally never process tv shows and the bebop was not immune to my stupidity LMAO like... I guess the ending just really confused me, from what I gathered Spike and Vicious were friends? But then they weren't? And Julia dated Vicious but also Spike? And he? Went after Vicious even after Julia had died? I am Confusion. Please help. Thank u...

Oh BABEY I am so glad you asked! :) Be prepared for a long answer and I apologize in advance for how incoherent it will probably be.

ALSO Please note: this show is fucking complicated. I have watched it all the way through several times a year, every single year, for over a decade now, and I am *STILL* finding new shit every time I watch it. It's packed with symbols, motifs, allusions and underlying themes that are just so rich. It is so extraordinarily well-written that it could give a lot of classic literature a run for its money. I'm literally working on an in depth literary/film analysis my husband lovingly calls my Manifesto on the series right now. SO PLEASE don't beat yourself up about not catching everything on the first go round.

HEY BTW for anyone who hasn't finished the show, please know there will be MANY spoilers ahead!

Anyways ~

1. Spike / Julia / Vicious:

The information we get on Spike's past, including Vicious and Julia, is pretty limited considering how big of an impact they have on the story. We get our first glimpse in Session 1: Asteroid Blues, then again in Session 5: Ballad of Fallen Angels, Sessions 12 + 13: Jupiter Jazz, and Sessions 25 + 26: Real Folk Blues. I recommend reviewing these episodes for you Julia and Vicious fix.

What we know:

Spike and Vicious were both members of an organized crime syndicate called the Red Dragons, which is roughly analogous to the Yakuza or the Mafia. Their positions in the organization are not clear, but there are some images alluding to them being hitmen, and they likely rose up in the ranks as they were close acquaintances of Mao Yenrai, a Capo of the Red Dragon.

Spike and Vicious were close comrades. Spike taught Vicious everything he knew about fighting, and the two had a deep trust in each other. Which Spike fucked up ….

^^Vicious looks hot asf here

Julia was Vicious' lover/girlfriend. One night in 2068 (three years prior to the time we watch in the Bebop) Spike is injured, presumably from a syndicate-related fight and he passes out in front of her door. She takes him in and nurses him back to health and he SIMPS HARD for her. We’re all but told he's in LOVE love with her. They start an affair, and Spike tells her he's ready to abandon the whole life - the syndicate, Vicious, Mao, all of it - and they could run away together.

WELL Vicious finds out about this whole affair, and is DOUBLY betrayed because his literal best friend and girlfriend have been having an affair, and tbh I think he was just as jealous of Spike's attentions as he was of Julia's. (Whether or not it’s a sexual thing for Spike … well … I have my own headcanons about that). SO when he finds out they're going to run away together, he gives Julia an ultimatum: you can either kill him, or I'll just kill you both. Spike had written her a letter about meeting him in the graveyard to start their new life together, which she tears up to hide his location from Vicious. (This is the falling ripped up pieces of paper we see in Spike's flash back in Session 5).

^^ r/gifsyoucanhear

**NOTE: There are those who disagree with this view, (looking at you Cowboy Bebop wiki) instead suggesting Vicious and Spike were buds in the past, but then hated each other once they were both considered as potential successors to Mao. That's why Vicious wanted him dead, and he was enlisting Julia (who he didn't necessarily have a romantic connection to) to help kill Spike since he knew Spike loved her. Personally, I think there is plenty of evidence that Vicious also wanted Julia, and in fact was already with her, when Spike started seeing her. If you want me to cite my sources please send an me an ask about it :)

Spike gets the idea, whether by her just not showing up or word around the syndicate being like YO Vicious wants you dead. Despite Vicious' ultimatum to Julia, he was gunna kill Spike either way. SO he sets up an ambush, and SadBoy™ Spike walks intentionally into their trap. Somehow, he doesn't die, though the entire syndicate thinks he did. (Note Annie's reaction to seeing him alive in Session 5). It’s also implied that this is where he lost his eye.

HIS EYE - possibly the most important symbol in the show so I do have to mention it. In episode 26, he explicitly explains to Faye that one of his eyes only sees the past. (PS this isn't dissimilar to Jet's arm… we can get into that another time). Basically, he's constantly living halfway in the past and halfway in the present, and describes the past like a dream he can never wake up from. Because dysfunctional or not - the syndicate WAS his family. (Again - see his relationship with Annie, Mao, and Vicious (prior to Spike's betrayal)). It's his reminder that Julia didn't run away with him, and that he'd left behind that life for her. (He didn’t know she was being threatened until the final episode). Basically Spike is hyper-fixated on what he had and what could've been.

Not long after this, Spike starts bounty hunting because like? What else is he going to do. He doesn't care if he lives or dies but if he has to be alive, he may as well be able to eat. He joins up with Jet Black on the Bebop.

TL; DR: Spike stole Vicious' lover, Julia, so Vicious made Julia choose between her killing Spike or Vicious killing them both. She instead went into hiding and Spike thought he'd been stood up. He fake died and got the hell outta dodge.

2. What was Faye's past?

Ok let me start by saying Faye is my wife and my life. HOWEVER I hated her the first time I watched this show circa age 13 because I thought she was annoying/vain/shallow (also because #internalizedmisogyny lol am I right fam). Good news! She is all those things! But she's also very lonely and scared and an amnesiac and secretly a sweetie and she realizes she loves the crew of the Bebop like family.

SO my wife's backstory:

she was born in the 1990s (#only90skidsremember). There's some debate over her race/nationality, but due to the images of her hanging out in Merlion Park in Singapore, my bet is that she's Singaporean. She comes from a wealthy family with a big house, and we see some utterly *adorable* film of her as a child/young adolescent in Session 18: Speak Like a Child. I cry everytime </3

^^ Holla for the representation

In 2014, circa age 20, she and her parents were going into space when the shuttle they were on had some kind of malfunction/accident and it killed an unknown number of people, including her parents. At the time, the technology didn’t exist to be able to save her, so she was put into a cryogenic sleep state. Meanwhile, the Lunar Gate accident occurs, breaking up the moon and causing rock showers on Earth's surface. Most people died, moved to Mars, or settled underground.

She wakes up from her cryogenic sleep in 2068. (Also the year Spike leaves the syndicate.) She's 'woken' by the corrupt Dr. Bacchus who plans on charging her for the years and years of medical debt she's accrued. (See Session 15: My Funny Valentine.) Luckily a lawyer takes interest in her case (Whitney Haggus Matsumoto) and tries to help get rid of her debt. The two fall in love, but turns out Whitney is a Scumbag. He's actually Dr. Bacchus's nephew, and faked his death, writing Faye as the sole inheritor to his will. This means she'll take on all his debts. So baby girl has LOTS of debt at this point.

In the intervening years prior to her joining the Bebop, she gambles, cheats, gains a lot of street smarts, and adopts a very seductive character to get her way. She joins the crew on the Bebop in Session 3: Honky Tonk Women.

TL;DR: Faye is Austin powers

YIKES this is so long I am so sorry. Bitches are obsessed with this show. (I am bitches)

3. The Ending

Okay I'm going to present this in the way, in my scholarly opinion, would be correct, though there are SO many interpretations other than simply 'Spike died :/".

To understand the plot of the last couple episodes we actually have to go back to Session 5: Mao is instructed* to sign a treaty with a rival syndicate called the White Tigers. (*He's instructed by The Van (Council of identical creepy old men) who are the actual head of the dragon. I think we only see them in Session 26.) Well - Vicious is a Bastard Man and he and his fellow mutineers blow up the White Tiger guys' ship and slit Mao's throat. Before he dies, Mao is like "Gotdamnit if Spike was still here this shit wouldn't have happened." Later in the Cathedral battle, Vicious explains to Spike he killed Mao because Mao 'lost his fangs'. He planned on killing Spike for good her, IMO, so there'd be no rival to take over as Capo for the Dragons.

^^These guys are The Van btw

THEN in Session 25, the Van basically catches Vicious and is like “you killed Mao and now you have to go to Time Out.” The Van also decides to just kill everyone associated with Vicious, just 2 B safe. That's why there's a big ass shootout at the Loser Bar where Jet and Spike are chilling, drinking, (missing Faye and Ed and Ein lol) and Shin (younger brother to Lin, who's helping Vicious overthrow the Dragon) explains all this to Spike. OH and PS JULIA IS ALIVE AND HERE IS HER LOCATION :). (**Notice Spike's reaction at this point is different than his reaction in Jupiter Jazz when he hears there's a Julia on Calisto. Much less excited… hmm…).

SO THEN you know we get some flashbacks of the past as previously explained *and* Julia just happens to run into Faye. She recognizes that Faye is one of Spike's friends from the Bebop (she was keeping tabs on him it seems) and picks her up. Faye doesn't know who Julia is but is like damn bitch I'm a little gay for you. (I mean … that may just be my bi ass projecting, but Faye is REALLY struck with her. Look at how she describes her to Jet, I mean come on.)

Faye's like, 'we should team up' and Julia says 'no thanks but also tell Spike to meet me at *the place*'. Meanwhile back on the Bebop Spike and Jet are talking and Spike goes on about some dream woman who was his other half. (We assume he means Julia … I have my reasons to doubt this … I have a lot of angry DMs about my opinion here lol but I just do not give a fuck (: I can expand on this in another post or you can refer to the title of my fucking blog haha) Personally, I think Watanabe personally left this specific scene open ended, the same way he does with the ending and various other things.

more like SIMP Spiegel

ANYWAY Faye comes back to the Bebop to tell Spike about Julia, and Jet gets intel from a former cop buddy that there's some shit going down with the Dragons. (Again, the Van is hunting down everyone ever associated with Vicious, including your pal Spike). Bebop is attacked, Faye tells Spike what's up with Julia, and he heads out.

PAN TO VICIOUS chained up - about to be executed - but what's that!? It's a bird!? It's a pla- no it's just a bird. (With one glowing red eye … hm … reminds me of Spike, also the drug Red Eye. Pls let me know if you have any thoughts on this). Just a bird with a BOMB! Explosion (RIP bird c. 2065 - too soon), Vicious kills the elders, his buddies show up and are ready to go fuck shit up.

this show could not be more of an aesthetic

MMMPhhh okay RAINY CEMETERY. Spike and Julia. She draws a gun, explains why she didn't meet him that day, and then hugs him. Now Spike is not *great* at showing his emotions but he literally just stands there. Maybe it's a stoic expression of how sad he is that he never knew she still cared, when it seemed like she dumped him. Maybe he's finally getting some closure on his past. Maybe the past doesn't mean the same thing it used to. (I'll elaborate later on this).

They go to Annie's to get stocked up on stuff, she lets them know she denied knowing Spike was still alive and hey also the Van was assassinated by Vicious and his guys so. Watch out for that. Then her shop is surrounded by Vicious' guys and she dies :(. Spike and Julia escape to the roof, but she's shot and dies in Spike's arms, and says 'it's all just a dream' :(. (Refer to: Spike living in a dream of the past).

Anyway Jet SAID he wasn't gunna go after Spike but. Jet's parental instincts kick in (oh yeah he was shot in the leg earlier btw) and he goes to Sitting Bull to see if he knows where Spike is. He basically says yeah Spike's about to die somewhere. (I want to do a further analysis on all the Sitting Bull scenes.) Well conveniently Spike returns to the Bebop, eats, tells his story about a tiger-striped cat. (At one point Jet asks if he's going there for her, and Spike is like well she's dead now so whatever). THEN we get to the scene where Faye is like HEY YOU CAN'T GO OFF AND DIE ASSHOLE and he's like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I 've been living in the past so I might as well see if I'm living now. (**This will play heavily into my interpretation of the ending). Faye is pissed, shoots the ceiling and he goes off to the syndicate headquarters to fuck shit up.

He basically John Wicks his way through the building, Shin dies, he and Vicious have the big boss battle and whatnot. He kills Vicious and stumbles back out down the stairs and says "Bang!" and collapses. We pan to the sky and see a star fade away.

Well that explains the plot … now here's what I think happened!!! ALSO may I mention, anon - you picked up on something I feel like a lot of people miss out on. Why *did* Spike go back to kill Vicious if Julia was already dead??

Basically, once it became clear that anyone associated with Vicious was being killed, Spike knew they'd hunt him down, and they weren't beneath Kill-Billing their way to him, (i.e. systematically destroying this companions to get to him). And for all his apparent indifference - he really loves his new found family. Jet is literally like an older brother to him. Ed is a little sister. Ein is well … a very good boy. And Faye? Well the relationship is complicated, and I'm not going to get into the 69,420 reasons I ship them here, but I think it is beyond argument that he really does care for her, even if that just in a filial way. He didn't want the syndicates to kill them for their association to him, or in order to get to him. So he did what he had to do to protect them. *AND NO* I am not saying that he didn't love Julia. But it was clear that his desire was no longer to run away with her. I think he genuinely loved and cared about her, but at some point between Jupiter Jazz Pt 2 and now, he accepted that their time together was over. Now he had a new raison d'etre, which is the Bebop.

I think at this point Spike has 'woken up' to reality (as he implied to Faye in their final conversation in episode 26: "Look at these eyes. One of them is a fake, because I lost it in an accident. Since then, I have been seeing the past in one eye, and the present in the other. I had believed that what I saw was not all of reality...I thought I was watching a dream that I would never awaken from. Before I knew it, the dream was all over." (This is from the sub btw I'm too lazy to look up the dub transcript.) He wasn't going there to die, he's going to find out if he's really alive. This line is fucking cool and everything - but it's implications are multitude. I won't go into them all here but basically : what makes him alive now is that he's free from his past. He's alive because he has this new family and protecting them is all he really wants now. Spike was protecting Jet, Faye, Ed, (and Ein) by going and facing the entire syndicate, knowing that their lives would all be in danger.

SO - did Spike die? Well again - Watanabe has purposely and artfully left this open ended. Well, if we're following the symbolism from Sitting Bull, then yeah, the man is as dead as disco, and wouldn't that be a fitting ending? BUT at the same time, Spike always refers to having 'died' before (meaning when he was ambushed by the syndicate, and they all thought he died, and he pretty much did). Don't forget that in movie (takes places roughly between episodes 22 + 23, and yes, was made AFTER the series but whatever) he like .. DIES dies. He goes to the afterlife and everything. He wakes up to find he's chilling with Sitting Bull, who's like nah it wasn't your time to die yet. So the fact Sitting Bull confirms Spike will die in the final episode, means yeah, Spike is pretty much dead.

BUT -- okay now hear me out -- could this death in the final episode be a death to his previous life? The person he was in the syndicate? Now that he's extinguished the Red Dragons for good, is it not possible that its merely *that* life which has ended? That's the optimist in me saying that, but if it keeps me from staying up all night crying, I guess it'll have to do. Watanabe definitely wants to leave it up to the viewer, so whatever you think, I feel like there's validity to it.

WELL any anon, sorry for the fucking lecture - and believe me, I could've said MUCH, MUCH more - but I enjoyed this question. I always love talking about this show so please all you fuckers feel free to message me or send an ask about anything any time. I am really slow at replying because #life'sAbitch.

Love you all.

SY,SCB <3

#sorry for the long ass rant #i could seriously talk about this all day.#i even trimmed this down so much #cowboy bebop #fuck man this show is everything #spike spiegel #julia #faye valentine #jet black #vicious #radical ed #ein #<3 #spoilers #rant

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house-of-cakes · 3 years

Photo

Jamais Vu

Masterlist || Series Masterlist

Prev || Next Chapter 22: And I Oop! 🤭 Jungkook x Reader: enemy to lovers AU

Word count: 1739

Warnings: Swearing, an over confident douchebag and Y/N and JK are major teases Premise: “There’s an opposite to déjà vu. They call it jamais vu. It’s when you meet the same people or visit places, again and again, but each time is the first. Everybody is always a stranger… Nothing is ever familiar” – Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

AKA Jungkook goes in search of the girl who got him expelled.

It’s embarrassing how long this chapter took me to write 🤦‍♀️ If you would like to give feedback or be tagged in this story please send me an ask/message 😊 Tagged list: @inspinkyring @betysotelo18 @kardia-apo-marmelada @casspirit0705 @preciouschimine @therealsugababe @lucedelsole97 @deolly @lexy9716 @thesweetest-peas @sannsia

STORY CONTINUED BELOW THE CUT

A large group of excitable females crowded one end of the bar as the man behind it took two bottles and spun it around with dramatic flare before pouring a generous amount of alcohol into a shaker. Squeals of delight erupted from the crowd as he threw a handful of ice cubes into the air and successfully caught them all behind his back. He finished off the flashy routine by placing the shaker top back on the canister and entertain his audience one final time by dancing in body rolls while he shook up his concoction.

“Who’s thirsty?” He yelled out and in an instant the females grew feral with enthusiasm as they pushed and shoved each other, trying to be the first person to gain his attention.

Y/N observed the scene from the other side of the bar as she waited for her turn to be served. A girl with fire engine red hair managed to wrestle her competitors off and secured the position at the front of the bar. She patiently stood before him, hoping her pleading eyes was enough for him to convince him to invite her for a drink.

Y/N’s nose crinkled in distaste. While she didn’t know the red head by name (she went by the name Red), she had seen the girl around the Basement and knew enough to know she deserved better than him.

“I’m absolutely parched.” Her tone was slow and drawn out in attempts to sound sultry.

Y/N couldn’t contain the fake gagging noise she made. In her eyes the scenario was completely cringeworthy…maybe Red did deserve him.

‘I wouldn’t be caught dead chasing a guy like BeatBox Jae.’ She thought to herself.

Unfortunately, the sound she had made was loud enough to catch Jae’s attention.

An overwhelming amount of excitement welled in his chest when he realised he had the Kim Y/N in his sights. He turned his attention back to Red and gave her the most charming smile as he could muster as he made another big show of slowly pouring out two drinks.

“Sorry, bar’s closed.” He said with no hint of remorse then picked up the drinks and made his way over to Y/N, leaving the humiliation to sink in with poor Red.

“Here.” Jae said as he set the frosty martini glass in front of Y/N “I made you a drink, Beautiful.”

Y/N scoffed in his face and pushed the drink to the side, her blatant act of rejection did not even damper his mood.

“You’re an asshole you know, right? I can’t believe you did that to her!”

Jae nonchalantly shrugged off the comment as he took a sip from his drink. He didn’t care about the feelings or problems of others…if he wanted something, he knew that as the Maknae of The Basement Boys there wasn’t much that was unattainable by him. With a face that looked like it was carved by angels and an ego that was extensively fed his adoring fans of guys and girls…Jae was a lethal combination of charisma and arrogance.

It was exactly this attitude that repelled Y/N from him. “Don’t be like, Beautiful…let me take you out on a date and show you how much I like you.” “Oh really?” Y/N leant forward so that elbows were resting on the bar and cupped her face in her hands, making sure to looked up at him from under her long lashes with a cute pout. “Tell me three things you like.”

Y/N was never discreet about her dislike towards Jae which only made him want her more. The fact that she was now showing genuine interest, made Jae feel like he was finally getting a head in a race he was lagging in.

“That’s easy… You’re hot as hell.” He said with enthusiasm and raised his hand so he could count the reasons as he listed them off “…cute too and the most gorgeous thing in the world.” He grinned proudly to himself, feeling satisfied that he answered the question well.

“Is that all?” “You only asked for three…did you want me to say super sexy too?” His response was smug

Y/N had to force a smile to hide her grimace. Of course the only traits he favoured were those of her appearance. She knew better than to ask those kinds of questions, especially to someone like Jae but once in a while she had the unstoppable urge to remind herself that men were trash.

“Sorry I don’t date guys who fuck around while they have girlfriends.” Y/N pulled herself of the bar and broke the illusion of interest she had Jae under. Though her abrupt change of attuite was enough to give him whiplash he was able to recover quickly.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, Beautiful.” “That’s not how I see it.” The tension grew thick in the air as they stared each other down.

For regulars of The Basement, it was common knowledge that Jae was one to sleep around. However, with her sharp observation skills as The Shopkeeper, Y/N was able to piece together his hidden shame. From what she could piece together it seemed that only the members of The Basement Boys were aware of this convoluted secret and the matter was kept within the crew.

“Don’t be silly Beautiful.” Jae was the first to speak, breaking the tension by playfully ruffling her hair and returning back to his same jovial self “Besides if anyone has to worry about significant others it should be me…your boyfriend has been giving us death glares.” “What?” Y/N asked trying to figure out who in the world he was talking about. Nods his head in the direction behind her before revealing who he is talking about. “SeokJin’s big buff cousin over there.” she turned around spotted a Jungkook looking disgruntled standing a few people back in the line for the bar. Their eyes met briefly before he turned the other way, pretending he wasn’t watching Y/N. “That’s not my boyfriend.” she said rolling her eyes “He’s just angry because he’s a sore loser.” “Thank God.” Jae exclaims as he clutches his chest overdramatically “I thought I had competition for a second.” “You don’t have to worry about that.” Y/N reassures him with a smirk “You actually act to be in the race to have competition.” She cheekily blows him a kiss and leaves him, no longer interested in getting a drink.

Y/N was well aware of the type of person Jae was, so never in a million years would she fall victim to his charms. If anything, she found it enjoyable to shut him down.

‘That should take him down a notch.’ She thought to herself

Jungkook was still facing away from Y/N as she drew closer to passing him on her way back to the balcony, she had every intention to walk by and ignore his existence and yet she had the unstoppable desire to mess with him too. Still high off her interaction with Jae, her body moved on its own accord and before she knew it her body was crashing into his as she purposely tripped herself. As if on instinct Jungkook was quick to wrap his arms around her to prevent her from falling.

“If you wanted me in your arms, all you had to do was ask…there’s not need to trip me over” Jungkook’s eyes widen at her accusation which caused her to chuckle. His arms dropped from around her and he stepped back to create space between them “I don’t blame you though…I am pretty irresistible in my new shirt.”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” He spat out in disgust “I don’t want anything to do with you, especially after I saw you help humiliate that red headed girl.” “Um…Sorry what?” Y/N’s mouth hung open in disbelief, he didn’t really believe she had anything to do with that? “Don’t act like you weren’t involved in that. I bet you couldn’t handle not being the center of attention for once, that’s why you called that bartender over to you.” “Excuse you? I’m not sure what you saw there but you must really have your head up your ass if you think that I had anything to do with that.” “Oh pah-lease!” Jungkook’s arms were crossed defensively “You might have everyone fooled but I see you for who you are… you’re nothing more than a spoilt princess!”

‘A spoilt princess?’

That comment really struck a nerve with Y/N. She had been called many unfavourable things in her lifetime and she had never been offended because to some degree the things they said were true so it never bothered her…she felt there was no point in getting upset with the truth, she accepted every aspect of herself - whether it be good or bad. However to be called a princess and a spoilt princess at that really pushed all the wrong buttons within her.

Y/N refused to conform to her mother’s notions of the importance of beauty and the concept of using her physical attributes to have things handed to her. Y/N valued independence, intelligence and hard work…to have this stranger discredit her like that was deeply insulting to her.

“Look here you jerkfaced asshole.” Y/N’s eyes narrowed as she scowled up at the tall male towering above her. “Maybe if you were a better competitor, you’d be able to win once in a while and then you wouldn’t have to take your passive aggression out on me.”

Jungkook couldn’t hide the grin that had taken over his face, even when Y/N was losing against him she had always managed to keep her emotions in check. This is the first time he had seen her flustered and openly frustrated…He enjoyed seeing her lose her composure.

“Whatever you say…” Jungkook closed the distance between them so that he could lean closer to her “…Princess”

Y/N stiffened when she heard his smooth husky voice whisper in her ear, stirring an unfamiliar feeling of anticipation and delight within her. Those feelings quickly turned to repulsion when her brain had finally caught up to her and realised who she had been talking to. She let out a sound of disgust and pushed him away from her.

“Go fuck yourself, Asshole!” she spat before turning to leave him.

Jungkook watched Y/N storm off as he buzzing with satisfaction of knowing he had be the one to get under her skin for once.

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

Text

HASO, “The Harbinger.”

It was nice to finally write this piece, and sorry for not posting for the last two days. With my work schedule, weekends for me sometimes fall in the middle of the week.

Hope you all have a great day!

“This is going to be a disaster.”

Overhead the UN flag snapped in the wind desperately trying to cool their bodies from the beating Sun.

“So you say, but I disagree.” She glanced down at the crew roster in her hands, “The boy really did his research, asked for people specifically, all the way down to the marines. A lot of them crewed the original enterprise. If this were a deck of cards I would say he has a royal flush.”

The other Admiral grunted but didn’t argue with her.

The man had never personally be into space, never even visited mars, so he didn’t pretend to know more than she did, while simultaneously being skeptical. She could deal with that, but at least he respected her enough to have trusted her decision.

Together they stood on the tarmac of the launch field.

The new ship wasn’t there as it had been built completely off-earth at Europa station considering how massive the ship was and how unwieldy the thing would have been in atmosphere. However, someone had taken the time to throw up some projectors, showing the view at Europa station as the last finishing touches were added, and cargo was loaded into her hull.

Across the Tarmac, they watched as Captain Vir stepped from UNSC headquarters and out onto the pavement. If the boy had any more bounce in his step he might as well have been skipping as he made his way up to the lectern and sat just off to the side on a metal folding chair. There were still other speeches to be given, those being the UN president, a few other major officials, and a broadcast by the GA, who were very pleased with their decision despite continuous grumbling by UNSC officers who still thought the boy was going to screw it all up.

The other admiral turned his head to look at her, “just look at him, he’s like a puppy, probably gonna piss all over himself with excitement.”

Admiral Kelly looked over to where he was sitting, on the edge of his folding chair, hands casper before him and one leg bouncing like a jackhammer against the pavement. There WAS something surprisingly doglike about him, “Oh give him a chance. I was just as excited as he was to fly my first mission, the difference was I didn’t show it. You can hardly blame a man for wearing his heart on his sleeve.” “More like smack in the middle of his forehead.”

“Give him a chance.”

He glanced over at her, “You’re fond of him.”

“He makes it easy to be fond of him.”

The UNp resident finished with his speech and stepped down from the lectern.

“Oh here we go, what is it gonna be, a cheesy joke and a Star Wars reference.”

She glanced at him from over her shoulder, “how do you know about star wars?”

He blushed only slightly, “I have a son who is into that old vintage stuff.”

“Mmmmm Hmmm.” She said pointedly before turning back to Captain Vir as he stood from his seat. She watched as he took a deep breath to calm himself, and then walked slowly up to the lectern his back straight, his expression serious

She smiled as she watched her friend’s eyebrow raise in surprise.

“Just over a year ago I sat in a VA hospital wondering if I was ever going to walk again, Eight months ago, I wondered if I was going to survive, six months ago I wondered if I would ever fully recover, and one week ago I wondered what kind of drugs the brass was smoking to offer me this job.” He smiled slightly as the crowd laughed, “All joking aside, I am privileged and honored to have been chosen. I know there has been a lot of controversy behind my appointment to this position, and Ithink Admiral kelly especially for her faith in me. I am not going to delude myself into thinking I can make any promises about whether or not I will succeed, but I can promise that I will do my best, which is as much as any man can promise considering such uncertain circumstances.”

He glanced down at his papers as the wind tugged at his cap, “As we speak the last cargo is being loaded onto my ship in preparation for our first deployment into the stars. I have thought long and hard in preparation, and for a proper name for the ship that will help usher in a new age of cooperation and companionship between us and extraterrestrial life. Sleepless nights, hours with the Oxford dictionary, and plenty of inappropriate suggestions from family members…” He paused there to allow a light chuckle from the crowd, “Hours and hours of thought and planning,...” he paused smiling ruefully, “I actually found the perfect word while out with my dad searching for new tractor parts. You know how these companies are, they have to make their tractor parts sound really manly or they’re worried we won’t buy them.” There was another slight chuckle from the crowd, “Anyway, the word I found means ‘ something that comes before and that shows what will follow in the future, a herald, a precursor or a forerunner. The word I chose and the name that my ship will take is Harbinger, a herald of things to come, the forerunner of humanity’s expansion into the stars and our alliance with alien races. She will be a harbinger, but a harbinger of good things to come. The crew of the harbinger will uphold all the values and oaths of the UNSC, protect, when others cannot, sacrifice when others will not, and fight when others actively rise against those that we protect.”

He went quiet as the un flag snapped behind him in the breeze.

“I give my soul to this endeavor with every fiber of my being, and I ask for my crew to do the same.”

***

Europa station 1200 hours EST

UNSC identification badges must be worn at all times.

“Now remember, she’s got six main engines, the back one is the most powerful but make sure to use your left and right for maneuvering to keep power. Never fire the warp core andt the engines at the same time unless you want to end up a thousand light years away and by all that is holy try very hard not to initiate that shatter sequence if you can help it.” Europa station director, and lead commander on the build team led him across the open deck and towards the open cargo ramp.

Adam’s eyes were wide, stuck open with awe as they approached the ship. He had seen her only once in her full glory, having asked the shuttle to take a quick tour around the Europa station so he could get a good look at her where she was docked

By all rights she was as aesthetically pleasing as a cinder block, but he thought she was beautiful all the same.

The man pulled him to a halt waving over another figure who had, up till that point, been busy shouting orders to a group of grey jumpsuits people who scrambled to do her bidding.

She stopped yelling at them long enough to turn and walk over.

“Captain, I would like to introduce you to your Chief Engineering officer Narobi. She knows everything there is to know about this ship. If she so much as suspects something might go wrong, you listen to her, no dumbass macho man act, and no blowing her off because she's probably more important than you will be when it comes to keeping this beauty in the air.”

She was tall just an inch or two shorter than him with dark skin and hard brown eyes. She wore one of those grey jumpsuits of the other engineers, but had wrapped a bright orange and red scarf around her head, tied up in a decorative knot. She was probably the most beautiful woman he had ever seen though the look on her face made it very clear that she wasn’t the type to hold such things at a high priority. Looking into her cold hard eyes he had no doubt that she was ready and willing to brain him with a pipe if he ever deserved it.

Adam held out a hand to her, “A pleasure to meet you-”

She took his hand, her grip as a calloused vice against his. He hadn’t expected that and grimaced as her fingers crushed his, she leaned in very close, “You see that ship right there, captain.”

He squeaked out a response, suddenly afraid for the safety of his bones.

“That right there, that ship, is mine. You may pilot my ship, and I will even allow you to talk about her like she’s yours, but at the end of the day she is mine. I take care of her, I fix her when she is sick and I keep her in the air. You treat MY ship well and we won’t have any problems.”

She squeezed again just a little harder before letting go, and he took back his hand waving it slightly to disperse the apin, “Got it, she is your baby.” He grinned at her, “Strong grip you have there, though I’d like to keep my hands for flying next time if that’s cool.”

His smile seemed to throw her off guard and she frowned slightly, “I…. I’m sorry I was sort of expecting….”

“Some raging asshole on a power trip….?”

“Something like that.”

“It’s ok, I get it.” he flexed his fingers and waved at her as he was carted off. She stared after him eyes narrowed slightly and a look of confusion on her face .

That boy is either a real idiot or a scapegoat for the UNSC who thinks he’s going to fail

Adam stepped onto the ramp before him and headed up into the interior of the ship wide eyed like a child and bouncing with excitement. When he reached the top of the ramp he looked around watching as men and women hurried to stow cargo and do last minute checkers to see if everything was strapped down.

Turning he found a group of marines standing in one corner receiving orders on how to help. One of the marines turned, and they locked eyes.

The marine’s face was split with a matching grin, and he broke formation to race across the floor. Adam did the same, and by the end they had the entire cargo hold’s attention as they met in an embrace each of them trying to squeeze the life out of the other. Eventually Adam used his superior height to pick up the other marine and spin him around once before setting him down.

“I knew you loved me but I didn’t know it was that much.:”

Adam grinned, “ramirez you son of a bitch. I missed you.”

“I can hardly blame you.” He winked a grin splitting his handsome face, “Last time I saw you, you were on a shuttle to Anin.” His smile died slightly, “I heard about what happened, I’m sorry to hear….” He glanced down at Adam’s leg before a smile lit up his face again, “On the brightside, you’re a cyborg now, can I see?”

Adam was surprised, not entirely used to people being so bold about wanting to see the prosthetic but, well it made him feel better, and he liked the idea of being a cyborg, so he pulled up his pant leg to give the marine a good look.

“Damn! How far does that go?”

“Buy me dinner and find out.”

The marine looked up, grinned and laughed, “Wow look at you. Not even blushing either you raging prude.”

“I only blush when I’m attracted to people.”

“Ouch, rude.”

Adam grinned and patted Ramirez on the shoulder, “I am glad you took my offer.”

“Glad to receive it. They’ve had me sitting on my ass over at fort Georga for the past year, and man being a marine is a lot less fun when you aren’t out being abducted by aliens.”

“That I can understand. Anyway, I gotta get up to the bridge, but I’ll catch up with you later, alright.”

“Later then.” The marine jogged off and he turned back to see some of the officers staring at him. He just shrugged, smiled and allowed them to lead him up and onto the bridge. The moment he stepped in was like, like nothing he could have ever dreamed. The station was facing towards jupiter, and glowing light from her swirling surface filtered in on the command center seats, and the captain’s chair was placed high above it.

It took every fiber of his being not to jump up and down squealing like a child. Even so he couldnt stop the stupid little dance that led him over to the chair. He could still sense the others staring at him, but he didn’t much care, sliding into the seat and feeling a warm rush of pure joy shooting through him like fire.

He leaned back in his seat.

Then he reached into the little pocket at the front fo his uniform and pulled out the small notebook there.

“Preflight!”

The officers hurried to their stations, and watching them rush at his words sent another thrill through him.

Engines

Warp core

Crew

Cargo

He rubbed his hands as they were almost done, “And one last and most important part of the preflight.”

They all turned to look at him, as he scrolled through his downloaded playlist, “You can’t just launch a ship without some epic tunes. My life didn’t come with a preset soundtrack so I guess I have to make my own.” They stared at him, but he just grinned and turned on his pre picked music selection. It had been difficult to chose, but he had finally made a decision.

The crew shifted almost nervously as they looked back and forth between each other unsure if they wanted to be a crew under this lunatic.

Adam engaged the microphone for the rest of the ship, “Alright Ladies, gentlemen and…. marines , welcome to the Harbinger, please keep your hands and feet inside the car for the duration of the trip, don’t throw marshmallows at neutron stars and no playing golf out the airlock. Next destination, Andromeda.” He let go of the announcement button and sat back in his seat.

“Harbinger ready for launch in Ten…” He engaged the countdown, and the crew rushed to their positions. He felt the rumbling of the engines as they engaged below him, and took control of the manual drive as the ankers were disengaged from his ship. There was a sharp thud as they disengaged from the airlock.

He slowly adjusted their rotating engines.

The ships engines fired, and he took control of the ship, gently maneuvering her away from Europa with all the skill and finesse of an eagle riding an updraft.

He pressed the button to call down to the engine room.

“Captain Vir calling for report.”

Nairobi’s voice came over the intercom, “She’s practically singing, Captain.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

He let the com drop, “Engage warp core.”

Europa station was already receding into the backdrop against the massive glowing orb of jupiter.”

“How far?”

“Safe warp distance approaching in in ten…”

He flipped up the switch on his chair, and waited for the count.

Their navigator turned to look at him and gave a thumbs up. At that moment he shut off the engines, and flipped the switch for warp following the targeting directory and input.

The entire crew braced themselves for warp, many of them remembering what it had felt like the first time.

Luckily for them it was a long warp, so it wouldn’t be so instantaneous.

Adam’s eyes went wide as he watched the stars bend around them. His teeth flashed white.

He had a good feeling about this.

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youvebeenlivingfictional · 3 years

Note

Congrats on 2k!!! Everything you've written so far is *chef's kiss* 😘👌 But there hasn't been enough (mirror!)Pike for my tastes... 👀 So I would like to request putting a hand over the other's mouth to shut them up & angry kisses (and also maybe holding the other's chin up?) with Mirror!Pike (or prime Pike if you prefer 😊)

Part of Youvebeenlivingfictional’s 2K Follower Celebration Notes: Thank yooou 🥰🥰 I went Mirror!Pike 👀 Rating: T Warnings: Cursing, angst, kissing

You couldn’t remember a time when you hadn’t been in competition with Christopher Pike. The two of you had always strived to beat one another. It was a race to see who could become a lieutenant first (you did), who would become a lieutenant commander (he was), who would be the first to get a position on the Bridge of a starship (he was), who would be the first to become the Captain of their own Starship (you were).

You were two of the Emperor’s most ruthless Captains. Where others were more set on making shows of loyalty, putting scares into their crews, both you and Christopher had complete loyalty from yours. The Emperor knew what you were capable of; you didn’t need to concern yourself with pointless competition with your fellow captains.

Apart from one particular captain, of course.

-- You tended to send crew members on missions— you remained on the Bridge, oversaw things as they needed seeing to. But when Pike had appeared on your viewscreen and issued you a challenge for a planet that the Emperor had ordered cleared. You’d already arrived, and set to clear one half of the planet, but— “Leaving all of the fun to your ensigns?” He’d asked, a teasing smile curling onto his lips, “Surely you can't have lost your touch, Captain.” There was no one in the galaxy that could get under your skin the way Christopher Pike did.

It had started out as a challenge. It always did with the two of you. But as things had cooled, as you’d heard back from your respective crew that they were finding fewer and fewer lifesigns, the two of you seemed to actually relax a little bit. And it was absurd, to think that you were relaxing in his company. You were still goading one another, certainly, but it was fairly less contentious than it had been previously. “Perhaps you haven’t lost your touch entirely,” Pike said, peering around the two of you, your phasers at the ready. “Entirely?” You scoffed, “It’s a wonder to me that you can manage to leave your quarters, considering the amount of grey you’re sporting these days.” “I didn’t know you were taking such stock of my hair.” You hated to admit it yourself. You’d taken stock of far more than that, frankly, but you were not owning up to that anytime soon. “‘Taking stock’ is an exaggeration, Pike,” You scoffed, glancing around. “You’ve paid enough attention to mark a change.” “Well, I knew you back when your hair was entirely dark. One day you turn up on my viewscreen looking like Father Time. You’d note a difference, too.” You heard Pike winding up to answer you— but he never said anything. You glanced back at him, brow furrowing and ready to ask if his dentures had slipped, but before you could he shoved you back against a tree, bracing you against it, his hand covering your mouth. “Sssh,” He urged, murmuring, “Listen.” Your brow furrowed, torn between anger and confusion— before you heard Klingon Warbirds dropping into the atmosphere. You glanced up, peering through the wilted tree line to see a few hovering near where the two of you had been standing. What were they waiting for? “We need to get back to the landing parties,” Pike mumbled, reaching for his communicator. You jerked your head out of his hand, eyes narrowed at him. You were pissed, he’d wanted a challenge— and you wanted to stop thinking of the long line of Pike’s body pressed up against yours. “There can’t be any more than three there,” You said, peering up at him, “We can take them.” Pike opened his mouth to argue, but you twisted out of his hold. “Come on, Pike,” You cooed, raising your Phaser, “Surely you haven’t lost your touch.” -- “It is a joy to see the two of you working together with such efficiency,” The Emperor cooed over the viewscreen in Pike’s ready room. We’d beamed aboard the Enterprise once the planet had been clear and we’d been informed that she wanted to speak with us both. “For your glory, Emperor, I could find it in myself to work with anyone,” You smiled sweetly. You heard Pike huff out an irritated breath beside you, and you fought the urge to look at him and smile. The Emperor just chuckled. “We will speak again soon. It is heartening to know that I can call on my Captains in my hour of need.” The two of you saluted her before the viewscreen flickered off. The image had hardly gone dark before Pike ordered, “Out.” The surrounding officers began to file out of the room, and you turned away to follow, but Pike’s hand shot out, wrapping around your wrist. You stilled, glancing down at it before you looked up again, catching your first officer’s eye. She was already reaching for her phaser, but you raised your hand, halting her before she could cause trouble. You nodded her out, and she hesitated before she saluted you, leaving. You stayed facing the door, watching the rest of the room file out before you spoke up, “I’ll thank you to let go, Pike.” “That was a stupid stunt that you pulled.” “It’s nothing that we didn’t do when we were in the lower decks—” “Warbirds against phasers—” “And we took them, Pike. Now let go.” You tried to shake him off and his grip tightened. You could not abide by that. You reached into your jacket in a flash, using your free hand to pull out a knife. You twisted a little, reaching across yourself to press it to Pike’s throat. But he was moving just as steadily— he held his neck still as he switched the hand he was gripping you by, his hand now coming up to hold you by the chin as well. You clenched your jaw, eyes narrowing at Pike. “...Put the knife away,” He murmured. “Let go of me.” “You’re not going to kill me.” “You don’t know that.” “You won’t. You would’ve by now if you were going to.” He loosened the grip on your chin just a little bit, as he shook his head slowly, wary of the knife. “...What you did down there,” He says softly, “Was reckless. You almost got yourself killed.” “Oh, you would’ve been fine?” “I was not worried about myself,” His grip tightened on your forearm, and you hissed, pressing the knife a little harder against his neck— though not hard enough to draw blood. “You should know by now, PIke, the only person that you should ever be worried about is yourself.” Pike was quiet for a long moment, eyes searching your face. “You wouldn’t have cared if something happened to me?” He murmured. You couldn’t answer that— you’d known him for too long, he’d surely know that you were lying if you told him no— “Let go of me,” You ordered quietly. “Answer me and I’ll let go.” “Pike—” “Tell me—” “Christopher—” You snapped. He let go of your forearm and reached up, twisting the knife out of your hand. It clattered to the floor as he surged in, pressing his lips harshly against yours. You managed to wrench your hand out of his hold then, reaching up and gripping his jacket, keeping him close. Christopher’s arm wrapped around you, the both of you turning face one another properly. Every kiss was a fight— biting, and rough. Neither of you were giving an inch— neither of you were willing to let the other win. Even now, you were competing. You hardly noticed that you were moving. You suddenly felt the edge of Christopher’s desk hit the back of your thighs. You reached up, winding a hard through Christopher’s hair and giving it a sharp tug. Christopher moaned against your lips, his fingers digging into your hips. You kiss broke for just a moment— before Christopher could pull away, you leaned up, taking his lower lip between your teeth and tugging. He rumbled low in his throat before he pulled away fully, looking down at you. “... Tell me you wouldn’t have cared if something happened to me,” He ordered. You swallowed thickly. “I can’t,” You breathed. Your head lowered, tired and dejected, and you felt Christopher step closer. His lips brushed against your forehead, and your eyes closed. “...I do not look like Father Time,” He mumbled. You grinned, unable to help yourself. “You’re no spring chicken, Pike.” He gripped at your chin harshly, tipping your head and covering his mouth with yours before you could say anything else.

#Youvebeenlivingfictional Follower Celebration #Follower Celebration #2k Follower Celebration #Captain Pike x Reader #Captain Pike x You #Captain Pike/Reader #Captain Pike/You #Christopher Pike x Reader #Christopher Pike x You #Mirror!Pike x Reader #Mirror!Pike x You #Mirror!Christopher Pike x Reader #Mirror! Christopher Pike x You #Anonymous

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berrynarrybanana · 3 years

Text

breathe me in - ws pt. 4

A/N: I feel like this is a boring chapter, and it’s a little shorter than usual, but omg the smut. I hope you all enjoy this, and thank you so much for being so patient with me. I am hoping that life mellows out sooner rather later! I hope you enjoy and don’t be afraid to let me know what you thought about this chapter!

Word Count. 7.7k

Warnings: Smut, alcohol, i don’t think there’s anything else tbh

Bea’s POV

It was loud on the side stage.

Harry had to yell in my ear for me to understand anything that he was saying, but I found the entire thing to be exciting. He kept his arms around me, holding me against his chest as he sang along to every word of every song. I knew a few of her songs, but she’d only played one that I was familiar with so far. Harry’s margarita disappeared quickly, so I handed him mine to finish off. I didn’t want to be hammered for his performance, so I decided to stop drinking for about an hour or two. Instead, I was nursing a bottle of water while Harry squeezed me tight.

“Are you having a good time, honey?” His breath was hot against my ear as I nodded, a smile on my lips. “You look like you’re having a lot of fun.”

“I am.” I chuckled, turning my head back to him.

He pressed his lips to mine, stealing a few pecks before the crowd cheered for the ending of Kacey’s song. I turned towards her, watching as a stagehand walked towards Harry with his guitar. I felt his arms tighten around me before they released me. I grabbed his drink, holding it as he put his guitar around his body, a pick hanging between his teeth casually.

He explained that normally, Kacey would come out during his set to sing with him, but tonight it was different. He had a surprise planned for the end of the show, and it would take up a lot of time in his set. So instead, he was joining Kacey on stage for one final rendition of their cover song. I smiled at him, taking a deep breath as I prepared myself for the emotional duet.

Harry leaned closer to me, ducking to my ear.

“Be good for me, yeah?” He said. “I’ll be right back, honey.”

He pulled back, landing a soft kiss to my lips before a few soft pecks.

When he pulled away, he winked at me before turning towards the stage.

I watched him hug Kacey, moving around as his guitar was attached to the amp cord lying on the ground. Kacey waved at me from her spot on the stage, and I waved back with a smile. I met her right before she went on for her set, and I adored her personality. She was just like Harry, positive and bright and funny. Harry’s eyes darted over towards me, and he tried to fight off a smile as Kacey started talking into her mic, but he couldn’t do it.

I pressed my lips together, holding his drink to my chest as he strummed over his guitar strings.

As the music began, my heart started to beat faster.

This was the first time that I would see him singing in person. I couldn’t believe how close I was to him, his facial features still perfectly clear from my spot on the side stage. He gave Kacey a quick nod, his fingers forming the G chord on his guitar before he strummed out. As the rest of the band joined in, I became more excited to hear them sing a classic country ballad from my childhood. I didn’t have too many memories of the song, but I knew it by heart. It was one of those songs that played on the radio non-stop, but somehow, it never got old.

When Kacey opened her mouth to sing, I felt my eyes begin to water.

I wasn’t one to cry easily, but this was such a sweet song.

Kacey kept her eyes on Harry, the two sharing a few smiles here and there as they performed together. I watched Harry as he leaned towards the mic as the chorus started.

“You’re still the one I run to,

The one that I belong to,

You’re still the one I want,

For Life”

Harry’s attention was divided between the audience, Kacey, and me.

I felt my heart soaring in my chest, the attention he was giving me enough to send my mind flying off into space. Each time he smiled at me, I felt like I was the only person in the entire world that mattered to him. I wondered if I was bewitched by the entire production, or if it was just Harry that had me so emotional and flustered. His eyes met mine, and I felt the air leave my lungs as he sang out a particular line.

“They said, “I bet they’ll never make it”

But just look at us, going strong.”

I pushed my bottom lip out in a soft pout as Harry winked at me, turning back towards the crowd in front of him. I sniffled, swiping away a few stray tears as he finished out the song.

When he handed his guitar off to a stagehand, he gave Kacey a quick hug before waving once at the audience. He ran back to me with his head ducked down, watching his feet. I didn’t wait for him to pounce on me first, this time. I looped an arm around his neck the second he was in reach, pressing my lips into his as his hands fell to my sides. He pushed his hands under my jacket, his fingers digging into my sides as he pulled me into his body.

“That was beautiful.” I exclaimed, a wide smile on my lips as Harry ducked down. “You winked at me.”

“I did.” He laughed, holding me tighter. “I saw you getting emotional, I thought I could make you smile if I did that.”

“It worked.” I pulled my head back, receiving another kiss before Harry moved behind me.

“She’s going to play your favorite now.” He said in my ear. “I asked her to play it now, because I have to be off stage after this.”

“Thank you.” I kissed his chin before turning my attention back towards the stage.

When Butterflies started to play, I clapped my hands together.

Harry swayed our bodies back and forth as we both sang the lyrics together. At one point, he took the margarita from my hand before twirling me around, pulling me back into his arms as we slowly moved together. He sang into my ear, his voice sending shivers up my spine.

When the song was nearing an end, I pulled back from him with a giddy grin.

“You give me butterflies.”

Harry repeated my facial expression from earlier, his eyes going soft as he looked at me singing to him. During the last line, he pulled me into him for one more kiss before we were being guided off of the stage. It was hectic backstage as crew members raced around to get things in order. Harry made me stand in front of him, guiding me with his hands on my hips through the maze of people and equipment. When we finally broke into the back hallway, I let go of the breath that I didn’t know I was holding.

“Harry, we need you with the rest of the band.” Jeff pointed at Harry before looking at me. “Bea, Dave is going to take you down to the barricades with the rest of the group. Claire is waiting for you down there with Gemma and everyone else.”

“Cool.” I nodded, turning back to Harry.

“Give us a minute, Jeff?” Harry asked his friend as his hands pulled me closer. “I swear, it’ll just be a quick goodbye.”

“You have two minutes.” Jeff’s brows lifted, adding some edge to his new stern expression. “I mean it, H.”

“I understand.” Harry said. “Two minutes.”

“Go.” Jeff nodded, turning around to talk to someone else behind him.

Harry spun me around, his hands lifting to cup my face.

“I’m gonna miss you while I’m up there, but I hope you have fun.” He brushed his thumbs over my cheekbones. “You look beautiful, and I swear that I won’t be able to keep my eyes off of you for the entire night. I don’t know how I’ll make it through my set honestly.”

“You’re going to do such a great job.” I said, tilting my head to the side. “I’m really proud of you for making it this far, and I can’t wait to see you up on that stage. Break a leg, yeah?”

“Kiss.” He mumbled as he ducked his head down, connecting our lips.

This wasn’t like our other kisses shared throughout the day.

This one was tentative, and slow.

Our lips moved together in perfect harmony, pushing and pulling like ocean tides as his hands kept me anchored. I opened without hesitation when his tongue swiped over my bottom lip, and I moaned when it slipped into my mouth with ease. Harry tasted like tequila and mint, an absolutely intoxicating flavor that I never wanted to forget.

“H, we gotta go.” Jeff pulled us from our little paradise, causing Harry to pull away with a small frown.

I lifted my hand, brushing my finger over his chin before landing a peck on his lips.

“Go on, darling.” I said. “I’ll see you after, okay?”

“Stick with Dave.” Harry said. “Have fun, honey.”

“Bye.” I whispered, offering him a soft wave as Jeff started to pull him away.

I turned to Dave when Harry was out of my line of vision, offering him the best smile that I could muster as the butterflies in my stomach started to flare up again.

“I think I need a drink, Dave.” I said. “Can we make a stop before we go to the barricades?”

“Absolutely.” Dave chuckled. “I’ll show you the way.”

🎸🎸🎸🎸

Harry’s POV

The crowd roaring always made me feel nauseous.

It was insane to think so many people wanted to see me perform my songs on stage. I was just Harry, a boy from a small town in England. I didn’t have anything important to say, and most of my songs were about frivolous things like love and partying. I was just me, not the bloody queen. But people were still cheering for me as the screen lifted, the lights cutting completely as I moved towards my mic out of pure habit. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes as I tried to take in the moment as it was unfolding before me. This was my last show of my first solo world tour. I had made so many memories that I hoped would stick with me until my dying day.

My favorite memory was standing in the barricades, waiting for me to give her the show of a lifetime. I was most worried about disappointing her. Not only was she a true fan, but she was my girl. I had to give her a reason to be proud of me, to be proud of her man. I smiled at the thought, reaching up to adjust my in-ear as I approached the mic.

The music was loud as it played through, blaring into my ear over the sound of the crowd. I lifted my left in-ear up, stuffing it in as I stood in front of the mic. As the lights flicked on, I sang into the mic before moving backwards to the beat of the song. I knew this was one of Bea’s favorites, so I really had to impress with my performance of Only Angel. I glanced towards the barricades as I sang into the mic, fiddling with a few things to get them properly set.

I saw Gemma first, nursing a gin and tonic as Michael bopped his head along behind her. I noticed Claire and Niall chatting, and I especially noticed Niall’s hand on her ass and the grin on his face. I decided to deal with that later, my eyes trailing over Kendall and a few other people until they landed on her. Dave was guiding her towards Gemma, his broad shoulders blocking her from the crowd as they moved closer towards the end of the line.

She settled next to my sister, looking up at the stage with a bright smile as I sang.

I nearly lost my wits when she stripped her coat off, her bare arms on full display in that little, red lacy thing that I adored so much. I licked over my lips, smiling in her direction as she looked up at me. I knew that she noticed my smirk, one that was meant just for her. She sang the words back to me as I all but screamed them into the mic, her hips swaying to the beat.

Any meaning that this song had before was now completely erased.

This was her song now.

She owned it, just like she owned my heart.

😇😇😇😇

Bea’s POV

Harry sang Kiwi three times.

By the time he dropped to his knees on stage, I was practically a goner. I was indeed dripping down my legs for him, just like he’d promised. With every song played, I felt that knot in my stomach growing tighter and tighter. Each dirty smirk or sly wink sent my way only made it worse, my fingers gripping the empty glass I had finished during the first four songs. I was stone cold sober, and absolutely drooling for the man I was lucky enough to call my boyfriend.

“Did you have fun?” Gemma asked as Dave guided us backstage, her hand tightly gripped in mine as I led the group.

“He’s so fucking amazing, Gem.” I called back to her. “He was born for it, I fucking swear.”

“Don’t tell ‘em that, it’ll go to his big head.” She laughed, stumbling into me as we stopped in the hallway. “I can’t believe his first solo world tour is over. Seems like just yesterday he was auditioning for the x-factor.”

“Alright, Bea-” Dave turned around. “I need you to go in Harry’s dressing room just there. His car is going to be the third out of the venue.”

“And the rest of us?” Gemma asked. “We’re gonna be stuck here for ages, aren’t we Davey?”

“No, you’re going now.” Dave laughed. “Claire, Niall, Gemma, and Michael are all in one car.”

“Where are we going?” I looked back at Gemma.

“Probably back to Harry’s.” She shrugged. “Maybe out to a bar, I don’t know.”

“Dinner.” Dave said. “Well, a late dinner and a tiny celebration.”

“Oh, food.” I sighed happily. “I can’t wait.”

“Well, get on with it then.” Dave gestured towards the door. “Everyone else, follow me. You guys are going out before the band. They’ll meet you there.”

Dave opened the door, and I stumbled in before he pulled it shut.

Lou was wrapping up hair tools, and Harry was slumped over on the couch as Jeff talked.

I could tell that Harry wasn’t really listening to Jeff, however.

I bit the inside of my cheek, carefully walking over before I sat down next to Harry. He lifted his water bottle to his lips, nodding as if he were listening to Jeff. His hand found my thigh, giving it a quick squeeze as Jeff rambled off a list of things that still needed to be taken care of.

“Alright, so we’re going to Wise Guys next.” Jeff looked at his phone. “I’ve arranged for a cake there, and a little birthday cupcake for Mitch and for Claire.”

“That was sweet.” I said softly. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” Jeff nodded. “The band just left, and everyone else is following behind. Your car is gonna leave in twenty minutes.”

“Thanks.” Harry sounded spent, his voice hoarse and low. “I appreciate everything, mate.”

“Anytime.” Jeff smiled, lowering his phone. “You did good tonight, Gary. I’m proud of you.”

Harry gave Jeff a small smile.

When Jeff was gone, Lou turned to us with a soft smile before she disappeared.

I didn’t say anything to Harry as he sipped at his water. I merely rested my head on his shoulder, slotting my fingers between his as we sat there in silence. The sound of the crowd rumbling was still vibrating through the floors, but it was quite otherwise. Harry let out a soft sigh, tossing his water bottle to the coffee table before he started to shift around.

“I want a shower.” He mumbled. “Can you join me?”

I rolled my lips in, debating on whether or not I was comfortable enough to do that yet.

After a few moments of careful consideration, I finally lifted my head up.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I said, patting his thigh before I stood up.

“I’ll have Jeff bring you some merch to wear when we get out.” Harry smiled, standing up after me with a groan. “S’not as easy as it used to be, I’m getting old.”

“You’re twenty-four, not eighty-four.” I chuckled, wrapping my arms around him for a quick hug as he laughed. “You were the picture of a perfect rockstar tonight, Harry. I had an amazing time watching you on that stage, and I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.”

There was a knock on the door that interrupted Harry’s response, his brows furrowing.

“Didn’t know Jeff and I were telepathic now.” He mumbled. “Let me go see who that is.”

He pressed his lips to mine as I untangled my arms.

I moved aside, watching him open the door slowly.

“Hey, I just thought I’d stop by and-”

“Oh, I’m kind of busy.” Harry said quickly, interrupting Kendall’s sentence. “I’m actually kind of knackered, Ken. Probably gonna go home and go to sleep.”

“You’re not going out?” She sounded shocked, and a little hurt.

I wasn’t one to gloat, but a small smile creeped onto my lips.

“No, Kendall, I’m not.” He said sternly. “I have to go. I need to shower before my car leaves.”

“Is she-”

“Goodbye, Kendall.” He shut the door, turning around with an exasperated sigh before he met my eyes. I raised my brows, pressing my lips together as he rolled his eyes. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I said softly. “You’ve had a really long day.”

“Yeah.” He mumbled half-heartedly. “Let’s go before we run out of time.”

I nodded, walking towards the bathroom as he grabbed his phone.

I started the water while he texted Jeff, his hip pressed against the sink as his fingers moved rapidly over the screen. I turned around, offering him a tiny smile before I tilted my head forward. I reached for the elastic on my wrist after I gathered my hair into a messy bun.

I didn’t feel like dealing with wet hair at a restaurant, and I hoped that I could keep my face out of the spray to avoid losing the makeup still on my skin. Harry was still texting when I finished with my hair, so I dropped to my knees in front of him to help him out of his shoes. I pulled the zipper down as Harry shifted, clearing his throat as he adjusted in his pants.

“Hmm, I said a shower.” His lips curved into a smirk as he focused on his phone. “We did that earlier, didn’t we honey?”

“Don’t be cheeky.” I snorted. “I’m just taking your clothes off.”

“I can do it.” He mumbled. “Just gotta finish a few more texts.”

“I’ve got you.” I shrugged, patting his leg. “Lift your leg.”

I pulled both shoes off, tossing them aside before I made my way up to his pants.

I pulled his zipper down before undoing the button.

Harry set his phone on the countertop, looking at me fondly as I finished pushing his pants down his legs. He kicked them aside as I tugged his boxer briefs down, letting them fall to the floor. I lifted my hands, my shaking fingers working on the buttons to his top as I held my breath. It was so intimate, undressing him while he watched me with hungry eyes.

“You’re so beautiful.” He whispered, brushing his knuckles over my cheek. “I can’t believe that I’m this lucky.”

“I think I’m the lucky one.” I mumbled. “My boyfriend is a musical sex god, so I think I win.”

“And my girlfriend is a sweet, southern minx.” He chuckled, brushing the strap to my bodysuit with his fingertips as I undid the last button on his shirt. “It’s my turn now.”

I inhaled sharply, nodding my head as he dropped to his knees.

I felt the air leave my lungs the second he glanced up at me with those beautiful green eyes.

He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my stomach as he closed his eyes. I couldn’t move a muscle as I watched him, his fingers fiddling with the zipper on my boots before he tugged it down. I bit the inside of my cheek, feeling the heat coursing through my body as he tugged my shoe off slowly. He ducked his head down, resting his forehead on my hip as he tugged my shoe off. He tossed it aside to join his own shoes in the corner of the room before he pulled my other shoe off just the same.

“You have another tattoo down here.” He mumbled, tracing his finger over my ankle before he started to stand. “What does that one mean?”

“It’s a lily of the valley.” I mumbled, my eyes glued to his as his fingers occupied themselves with my pants. “It’s the flower of my birth month.”

“When were you born?” He asked softly, leaning his forehead against mine. “Talk to me.”

“May.” I mumbled, closing my eyes as he tugged the zipper down. “May fifteenth.”

“A spring baby.” He sounded happy at that. “That explains why you’re always glowing.”

“Shut up.” I laughed, opening my eyes again as he tugged my jeans down my legs.

I shimmied a little pushing them aside with my feet as Harry’s fingers immediately started to knead over the globes of my ass. I gasped as he hitched my hips closer to his, digging his fingers harder into my bum as I gripped onto his shoulders for support.

“You’re sexy.” He ducked his head down, peppering kisses over my shoulder. “I was so fucking hard on stage, because of you. I saw you take your jacket off, and I fucking lost it.”

“Can you imagine how I felt?” I asked him, closing my eyes as I felt his hand slide around my waist, ghosting over my thigh. “You made good on your promise, at least.”

“What promise was that?” His voice was dripping with sarcasm, as if he didn’t know exactly what I meant. “I can’t recall.”

“Why don’t you move your hand up and find out?” I asked him, pulling my head back as I sucked in a deep breath. “We have time.”

Harry’s lips were pressing into mine moments later, the pent up frustration from our day leaking into every movement. I gasped when he raked his teeth over my bottom lip, pulling it away from my teeth before he let it snap back into place. His fingers were digging into my sides, helping me roll my hips as he pressed his thigh between my legs. I whimpered, dropping my head back as his lips started to trail down my neck. Little nips and harsh suction greeted my sensitive skin, leaving a trail of damp and sore skin in his path. I didn’t care about it though. I only cared about the pleasure I was receiving as my body limply rested in Harry’s arms.

“I want to make you cum.” He gasped, lifting his head up, his eyes trailing over my body like a madman. “How do I get this thing off?”

“Zipper on the side.” I turned, lifting my arms as his fingers fumbled for the zipper.

Moments later, it was stripped from my body.

I couldn’t think about being insecure when Harry was guiding me towards the shower, my feet moving backwards as he stuck a hand out to feel for the glass. He pulled the door open, lifting his head for long enough to guide me over the small. He snaked his arms around my body, keeping me close as we entered the warm spray of the shower. His naked body pressed against mine was a completely foreign feeling, and I didn’t know how to respond to it.

Luckily for me, Harry made sure that I didn’t have time to think about anything besides him.

“M’gonna try something with you.” He pulled away from my lips, pressing his forehead to mine as I tried to catch my breath. “If you spread your legs just a little, I can slip between your thighs and…we can um-”

He stuttered, the tips of his ears going red.

“I know what you’re trying to stay.” I said. “Do it.”

“Yeah?” He asked me. “Are you sure?”

“Positive.” I dropped my arms over his shoulders, tangling my fingers into his hair as the water cascaded over him. “Let’s try it.”

“Fuck, okay.” He nodded, sliding a hand between our bodies.

I felt him shift his cock around, wincing softly when it brushed against my hip.

I nearly lost my legs when he brushed the tip of his cock over my clit, gently massaging the bundle of nerves between my legs until I was crying out, my fingers grasping at his hair.

“Fuck.” I whimpered, clenching my eyes shut as he kissed over my jaw. “Harry, I-”

“I’ve got you.” He grunted out, sliding his cock fully into the small space between my thighs. “Oh my god, that’s so good, honey.”

He dug his nails into my hips, holding them as he pulled his hips back.

I bit my lip at the feeling of his cock sliding over my lips smoothly, coated in the arousal that he caused. I dropped my left hand to his shoulder, my nails digging into his skin as I tangled the fingers of my right hand in his hair. He ducked his head down, resting his forehead on my collarbones as he continued to move his hips at a slow pace.

“I’m not gonna last very long.” He kissed over my shoulder, pulling my hips against his with a little more force. “I’m so fucking close.”

“Cum.” I said softly. “Cum for me.”

“No.” He lifted his head, his eyes staring into mine with a burning determination. “I want to make you feel good.”

“I promise I feel fucking fantastic.” I chuckled softly. “But I don’t know if I can cum from this alone.”

Harry didn’t say anything.

He merely pulled himself away from my thighs before he turned me around. I felt a new wave of excitement wash over me as he guided us towards the shower wall, his hands pushing me gently against it before his feet pushed mine aside just a little. I gasped when his fingers dipped into the sensitive skin of my hips, pulling them up just a little so that my ass was perched up for him. I felt him dip his finger towards my mound, slowly easing it between my lips to collect a bit of my arousal before he slid his finger back up to circle my clit.

“Fuck.” I dropped my head forward, pressing my palms into the wall for support. “Harry.”

“That’s it.” He kissed over my shoulder blade, sealing our bodies as he aligned his cock with that little space between my thighs and my cunt. “Do you feel okay? Is this good?”

“Perfect.” I nodded. “Please, do something.”

From there, all I could hear was the sound of our bodies colliding and a mixture of our moans.

We sounded so beautiful together, the perfect mixture of soft and rough as he took me to a world I’d never known before. It was different than having his fingers in me, and I did miss the full feeling that came with penetration, but I was getting off on the motions of our bodies as the tip of his cock massaged my clit. He held onto me with his left arm, keeping my body supported as my knees started to grow weak. He could tell that I was close when I started to get quiet, a few squeaks and moans coming out in between long periods of holding my breath.

“Let go for me, angel.” He gasped. “I’m right behind you.”

The feeling that erupted throughout my body had my jaw practically unhinging, a desperate cry spilling from my mouth as I dropped my hands to grip at his arm. I felt my nails dig into his skin as he stilled his hips, his cum shooting onto my thighs in thick, warm spurts.

“Bea.” He buried his nose into the crook of my neck, holding me upright as his hips jerked in quick motions. “Yes, angel.”

When Harry finally stilled behind me, and I finished unraveling under his touch, I let out a series of giggles. Harry held onto my tighter as I dropped my head back against his shoulder, his lips pressed against my neck as he laughed along with me. I felt like I was fucking floating on cloud nine after that, and I didn’t even know it was possible to feel that good after doing something so simple. Harry playfully bit at my shoulder to get my attention, but I groaned.

“I have to actually shower now.” He whispered. “And I think you might want to tend to your makeup.”

“Do I look like a racoon?” I asked him through another giggle.

“You look like a very pretty raccoon.” He squeezed me gently, kissing my cheek. “Jeff should have left the clothes out for you by now. I’ll be out in just a minute, okay?”

“Okay.” I turned around, tossing my arms over his shoulders before I kissed him. “I’m leaving now.”

“Okay.” He pressed his lips to mine again. “Bye.”

“Bye.” I responded with another kiss, a smile breaking out on my face.

‘“Bye.” He mumbled into my mouth, dropping his hands to my hips.

“I’m going now.” I whispered as he pressed my back against the wall, ducking in for another kiss.

“You really should.”

But I didn’t go.

Not for another fifteen minutes.

And Jeff was kind of pissed about it.

🦝🦝🦝🦝

Harry’s POV

“I just want to thank each and every one of you for making my dream come true.” I lifted my glass, looking around the private room as everyone stared back at me. “Without you, I would not have been able to do the thing that I love most in the world, and I am forever grateful to you for being a part of this journey. I am so grateful to have found a chosen family that understands me for who I truly am, and I cannot wait for our next tour to start so that we can make many new memories together. I love you all, and I hope to see you again very soon.”

I lifted my glass of champagne before taking a sip as everyone clapped.

When I sat down next to Beatrice, my hand rested on her thigh as she continued to talk with Claire about something. I was beyond exhausted, especially after our little shower tryst. I squeezed Bea’s thigh at the thought of her soft moans, tossing the remaining contents of my drink back with ease. I saw Bea turn her head towards me with raised brows, but I merely shook my head before leaning over for a quick kiss.

“You two might be the most handsy couple I have ever seen.” Claire said. “Harry, I didn’t peg you for a PDA man.”

“I’m not.” I said. “But I don’t mind it so much with Beatrice.”

“Oh, barf.” Niall scoffed, rolling his eyes at me. “I can’t believe you’re that guy.”

“Fuck off.” I flicked my middle finger up at Niall as he lifted his pint glass to his lips. “She’s extremely gorgeous, and I just can’t help myself.”

“Oh, Squid.” Beatrice dropped her head to my shoulder with a soft coo. “That’s so sweet of you.”

I felt my cheeks heating up as she looped her arm around my own.

I loved feeling her warmth surrounding me.

She had such a warm and comforting presence, and it made me want to spend my entire life wrapped up in her arms. She was a lot like the sun, beaming down on me in scorching hot waves of good vibes. I turned my head, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head as Niall and Claire picked up their conversation. I watched Niall laugh at something Claire said, his head dropping back and his eyes crinkling at the corners. He wasn’t one to open up to someone new so easily, but apparently Claire had quite the effect on him. They spent most of the concert in close quarters, yelling in each other’s ears and laughing while I sang on stage. I could have sworn I caught them sharing a kiss at some point, but that had to be in my head.

Niall didn’t do one night stands anymore.

He was still healing from the last one that left him battered and broken.

I inhaled sharply, looking at the remainder of Bea and I’s food as I felt her weight pressing into my side just a little harder than before. I tilted my head forward, glancing at her face. I tried not to laugh when I realized that she was fast asleep on my shoulder, her perfect lips pushed out into a cute pout. I squeezed her thigh one more time before I turned to Jeff on my left.

“I think we’re gonna head out.” I said softly. “Someone is a bit tired.”

“Glenne and I were just talking about ditching.” Jeff shook his head, laughing as he lifted his drink up to his lips for a quick sip. “It’s been a long run, man. I don’t think anyone would blame you for disappearing into the night with your beautiful new lady.”

“I’ll text you about our farewell get together.” I said softly, carefully sliding my left arm around him for a quick hug. “It’s been a good run, mate. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without by my side.”

“We make a good team.” Jeff smiled. “Go home, Styles, you look like the walking dead.”

I chuckled, shaking my head before I turned back to Bea.

“Honey, it’s time to wake up.” I whispered, pressing my lips to the soft hair on top of her head a few times as she stirred under the palm of my right hand. “We’re gonna go home now, okay?”

“But Claire-”

“Claire is gonna go home with Gemma and Michael.” I said. “They’re going back to the air bnb because they want to surf tomorrow morning.”

“Gemma is going to surf?” Beatrice lifted her head, a confused look on her face that made me want to laugh. “She doesn’t seem like the type to surf, and I mean, I’m not either but-”

“She’s got a good book and a nice little umbrella to sit under.” I leaned forward, kissing Bea’s lips softly. “C’mon, let’s get home. I’m absolutely knackered.”

“You’re so cute and so british.” Beatrice giggled, leaning forward to press her lips to mine. “I like you.”

“I like you too, honey.” I chuckled, watching her as she slipped out of her chair onto wobbly feet with a large yawn.

I followed suit, tossing my napkin down to the table before I turned to Gemma and Michael who were sitting in front of Jeff and Glenne. Gemma smiled at me before giving me a soft wave. I smiled at her as Beatrice walked around the end of the table until she was standing behind Claire. She wrapped her arms around her friend's shoulders, leaning down until she kissed her cheek. Claire rubbed her forearm gently, talking softly as Beatrice nodded at her.

“I love you, C.” Bea gave her one last squeeze. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I doubt it.” Claire chuckled. “Please, have fun tomorrow.”

Beatrice pouted, but Claire merely rolled her eyes and told her to go.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m spending my day in the ocean.” Claire called out.

“Have fun, don’t forget your sunscreen.” Beatrice smiled at her friend.

When Beatrice was finally by my side again, I reached for her hand, slotting our fingers together.

Dave was going to drive us home in the Tesla so that I didn’t fall asleep at the wheel.

As Beatrice and I walked towards the exit of the restaurant, my nerves started to flair up. I knew there would be paparazzi standing outside of the restaurant waiting to get a glimpse of Beatrice and I. I turned my attention to her as she slowly walked beside me, her eyes heavy.

“Beatrice.” I said softly, stopping just in front of the exit. “We’ve never talked about the media, and the influence it’s going to have on our relationship-”

“There won’t be any negative influence if I can help it.” She looked up at me. “I know what being with you entails, Harry. I’ve never experienced it, but I’ve seen it tear couples apart from a fan perspective, and I like to think that I’m stronger than the pricks with cameras standing outside.”

“I know that you are.” I cleared my throat. “But you won’t have any privacy, Beatrice. People are going to dig into your life, and they’ll use anything they find to tear you apart. If you step outside with me now, holding my hand, it’s all fair game. It’s going to be the beginning of a shit show that will disrupt your entire life-”

“But at the end of the day, I get you.” She squeezed my fingers, moving closer to me until her hand was pressed to my cheek. “I get to be with the kindest, and sweetest man I’ve ever met. I think it’s worth it, and I’m not afraid of the price I have to pay to be yours.”

I felt my heart squeeze in my chest, the doubt still settled in my chest.

It was going to be hard.

But I had to trust her on this. She knew her limits better than I did, and I had no reason to doubt her word. I inhaled, holding my breath as she stared up at me with those soft, blue eyes.

“Alright.” I nodded, exhaling quickly. “Let’s do this then.”

📸📸📸📸

Bea’s POV

I absolutely fell asleep on Harry during the car ride to his house.

He didn’t say anything about it when I rested my cheek on his shoulder. He merely adjusted his body until I was wrapped in his arms with my head in the crook of his neck. I didn’t even remember Dave taking off from the restaurant parking lot. I only remembered the scent of Harry’s body wash and the warmth of his arms around my body as Dave merged onto the freeway. I felt Harry’s cheek press into my head at some point, soft snores rousing me slightly before they lulled me back to sleep.

I had a vague memory of Harry and Dave talking, and it reminded me of being a kid in the backseat of my parents car when we got home. I was awake, but not really all there. I felt Harry moved from under me, leaving me propped up on the seat for a second before I felt him pulling my arms around his shoulders. I clamped his legs around my waist, whimpering as I buried my nose into the soft material of his Treat People with Kindness hoodie.

I fully woke up when Harry walked into his large kitchen, dropping his keys down on the granite countertop before he started walking through the open floor plan.

“Put me down.” I mumbled, wriggling in his grasp. “I’m gonna break your back, squid.”

“You’re fine.” He snorted out a laugh. “Light as a feather, you are.”

“Harry, I’m serious.” I frowned as he walked towards the stairs. “I’m too heavy.”

“I bench press five times your weight, honey.” He turned his head to the side with furrowed brows. “You’re okay, I promise.”

“But-”

“Beatrice, I’m being cute here.” He said softly. “I’m just giving my girlfriend a piggyback ride before I tuck her into bed.”

“Don’t come crying to me when you wake up with a sore back tomorrow, darling.” I rolled my eyes, letting out a sigh. “It won’t be my fault, I warned you.”

“I promise not to complain to you.” He dug his fingers into my thigh just a little harder, hiking me up before he started to take the steps. “Hold on tight.”

I rolled my eyes, tightening my legs around him as he started to walk up the stairs.

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping that we didn’t fall backwards as he took each step. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, it was that I didn’t trust the concept of him carrying me up a flight of stairs after putting on a concert for thousands of screaming fans. He was tired, and I was just weighing him down...literally. I heard him let out a soft chuckle when I gasped as he adjusted his hands under my thighs. I thought for a second he was going to let me fall.

“I’ve got you, honey.” He whispered. “Won’t ever let you fall.”

I felt my heart melt in my chest, my bottom lip pushing out into a soft pout.

I ducked my head down, kissing his shoulder.

When we finally made it to the end of the hallway, Harry pushed the white wooden door open with one foot before he walked into the darkness. I was afraid of the dark, but with Harry holding onto me, I didn’t feel nearly as freaked out by the absence of light. He turned around when his shins collided with something, his hands squeezing my thighs before he whispered.

“M’gonna put you on the bed, okay?” He whispered. “Do you want to sleep on the right side, closer to the bathroom.”

“Yes, please.” I nodded, loosening my arms from around his shoulders as he lowered my body down gently. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, honey.” He turned around, dropping a kiss to my forehead. I heard something shifting around, and seconds later, a light came on. “That’s better.”

“Much better.”

“Are you comfortable in what you’re wearing?” I felt his eyes trail from my legs back to my eyes, examining my comfy outfit I put on in his dressing room before dinner. “I have your bag downstairs that Claire packed for you if you want something else.”

“This is fine.” I moved myself back towards the headboard, stretching my legs in front of me with a soft groan at the ache in my muscles. “You should get ready for bed, darling.”

“I’m ready.” He smirked, glancing at his hoodie before looking back at me. “Gonna sleep just like this.”

“I was hoping you’d be naked.” I tried to hide my smirk as I mumbled, watching Harry’s lips part slightly before his brows lifted towards his hairline. “But I guess sweatpants are okay.”

“Oh, you little brat.” He kneeled on the bed, reaching out to brush his thumb over my cheek. “If I wasn’t about to fall asleep standing up, I’d wreck you.”

“I’m looking forward to the day you come through on all of these promises you’re making me.” I narrowed my eyes at him as he snapped his mouth shut, exhaling through his nose as his jaw tensed. “Did that make you mad, Harry?”

“It made me want to pin you against the mattress.” He moved his second knee onto the bed, crawling towards me as I lowered my back against the pillows piled on his bed. “You’re trouble.”

“I know.” I dropped my head back as he pressed his palms into the mattress beside my ribcage, his body hovering over mine. “You like that about me though, don’t you?”

“You have no idea.”

He pressed his lips to mine in an innocent kiss, pulling away after a second before he tilted his head. He went back in with a little more vigor than before, his lips pressing hard into mine as I lifted my hands to grip at his sides. I let his tongue dip into my mouth, massaging over my own in a sensual dance as he kept his body above mine. I pulled at his hoodie in attempts to get him closer to my body, but he didn’t budge. I whined out, pulling my lips away from his.

“You’re starting something we can’t finish.” He whispered. “I should lay on my side of the bed, Beatrice. If I -”

“I just want to feel you on me, that’s all.” I shook my head. “I want you to lay on me, Harry.”

“Trouble.” He stressed the word with a pained look on his face, lowering his hips between mine before he pressed the rest of his body against me. “Is this what you wanted? I’m not crushing you, am I?”

“No.” I smiled, sliding my hands under his hoodie, brushing my fingers against the warm skin of his back. “I like the weight of you, it’s comforting.”

“Your hands are cold.” He hissed out. “They’re like blocks of ice.”

“Sorry.” I whispered, lifting my head to kiss his lips. “Maybe they’ll warm up if I keep them here.”

“Or maybe, I’ll get frostbite.” He brushed the tip of his nose over mine. “I can’t believe I’m about to say this, because it’s so cheesy, but I’m so happy that I met you. Being with you makes me feel so...content and carefree. I feel like I can be myself with you and that’s so hard to find these days.”

“You can always be yourself with me, Harry.” I giggled when he pressed his lips to my forehead, pulling away with a soft mwah. “I like who you are, inside and out.”

“Good.” I felt him shift around, lowering his body until his head was tucked into the crook of my neck, a soft sigh escaping his lips moments later. “I like who you are, too.”

“Goodnight, Harry.” I turned my head, kissing his temple.

“Goodnight, Beatrice.”

#harry styles smut #harry and beatrice #honeybee #watermelon sugar series

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90slevi · 3 years

Text

Loneliness {Levi Ackerman x Reader}

TW: a bit of gore? a LOT of angst, more of me venting lol

Levi ran his hands through his hair as he flopped down onto the old, crusty sofa.

It'd been a tough day for him and his squad, the group of them only just surviving as they frantically dodged a mass of titans and tried their best to weave through the pounding rain that was so heavy it almost left marks on the scarred bodies of the soldiers. Thank god the group had found a small, secluded cabin, or they might've frozen to death - if they hadn't been eaten first.

The number of people Levi had seen get mutilated in front of him in the past few hours alone was enough for the average person to see in a lifetime. For him, it should be normal. He should be used to it by now, maybe even desensitised, but every time he watched a person get split in half by the gaping jaws of a titan, it felt like a fresh, stinging wound on his skin. It was painful, yet all he could do was watch with his stern expression to hide the way he truly felt. To keep the confidence of his squad high.

Now, he and his crew were safe. Physically, maybe, but certainly not mentally.

Levi missed his wife. His head pounded in pain as the blood-stained bandages began to unravel and his headache increased, but all he wanted to do was think about her. He held her letters close, and he held the small oil-painting of the two of them close to his heart, something that'd been made by one of the higher-ups as a gift for Humanity's Strongest. The letter was one of the first things Y/n had written to him and the pretty yet smudged handwriting along with the cute curls of her Gs and Ys made his heart feel warm.

It'd been about a month since they'd both left Wall Sina to go on this extremely long, drawn-out expedition, and how much he cared about her was beginning to dwell on him. His heart and body ached, and he wished she was there with him to comfort his pains, even if he acted like he wasn't listening.

That was what Levi liked about her; she knew how much he cared about her without him needing to express himself. Something he wasn't... the best at.

Levi didn't realise his eyes were welling up with tears until he felt a small, fresh droplet appear on his upper cheek, and his eyelashes felt sticky. Quickly, he wiped it away with his sleeves, but it was unlikely anyone would see. Everyone was supposedly asleep, while he stayed up due to his unfortunate insomnia. Y/n was always there with him in their bed at home, someone he could hold onto while he tried his best to sleep. Her fingers running through his hair, leaving small little pats on his scalp, and tiny kisses on his forehead were all things he missed dreadfully, and he gulped a little as his heart pounded slightly.

Love was never really a thing Levi had believed in. He just went about his life, trying to survive and find a better life for humanity. But when he met Y/n, everything changed. Of course, he disliked her at first, just as he did with most people. Her bubbly, caring personality with too much sympathy and love for other people were things he, unfortunately, despised, mainly because they were things he seemed to lack. Yet... he couldn't help but be drawn to her, giving her extra chores such as cleaning his office and bringing him tea just so he could see her. Often he'd ask Y/n to help him with his paperwork so he had some sort of company, once even choosing her over Hanji to fetch him food.

He slowly began to realise over the months that it wasn't hatred he felt for Y/n. It was... fear. He was scared of loving someone, especially someone like her. Someone who was part of the Survey Corps, and someone who could die within a week and not have the chance to say goodbye. It hurt him way too much to love someone, yet he couldn't keep his feelings to himself.

When he found out she felt the same way, the two discussed their options. One being totally ridiculous and one being... more reasonable and sensible.

The first? Choosing to leave the Survey Corps and get married, far away from the life they'd been leading.

The second? Staying in the Survey Corps and going separate ways, never to speak of this again and to drop the feelings if they could.

But of course Y/n managed to merge the two together. Staying in the Survey Corps and getting married.

But... they were in different squads. While he led his own, Y/n was under Hanji, and he currently had no idea where her squad was or IF they'd even survived. They'd been seperated for three weeks now, and the questions that filled his mind felt like psychological torture. Levi tried his best to block that thought out of his head, not wanting to be plagued with the thoughts of his wife's death instead of focussing on the mission at hand. At that moment, he needed to prioritise his own Squad's safety, but he couldn't keep those thoughts at bay.

A sniffle escaped his nose as he felt his eyes well up again, and Levi had never felt so lonely. His free arm reached upwards as if he could magically touch fingers with Y/n and know she was okay, but it was pointless. His arm flopped back down as he tried to find a comfortable position on the absolutely awful-excuse of a sofa, but struggled. Crying was not a very-Levi thing to do, but at that moment? He just couldn't help himself.

Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he felt almost like a baby. He was not only upset about not having his wife near, but extremely embarrassed too. He was hyperaware that someone could see him, even though nobody was there, and he knew that as a captain, it was highly irresponsible to be sobbing like this. He'd only cried twice in front of Y/n; the first was when he thought she'd died, and the second was the aftermath of his original squad dying. If only she could see him now, looking pathetic and weak.

But he should've known she didn't think of him like that. Y/n knew him as the strongest person she'd ever met in her life and believed that crying was not a sign of weakness, but a sign of holding it in for too long. Holding in those negative emotions and putting on a strong facade only she could see through. Only a fool would think Levi was brave all the time, because even the strongest get scared.

"Fuck," Levi muttered shakily, noticing that one of his tears had merged two words together on one of the letters, creating an inky black blob. He placed the pieces of parchment onto the table beside him, making sure not to ruin them anymore, and balled his fists into his eyes to stop himself from crying anymore. He didn't want to feel this; he wanted to go home and spend the rest of his days with you, blissfully unaware that the titans even existed. Maybe he'd be a dad.

But no. The world just liked to cruelly torture him and watch him suffer. The world wanted him to watch everyone he ever knew die in front of him in ways he didn't want to experience. The world just wanted the worst for him, and he wondered what he'd ever done to deserve it.

When he heard a knock at the door of the cabin, he completely ignored it, not wanting to get up and answer. His eyes were red and puffy, while teardrops hung in his eyelashes. It was clear as day he'd been crying, and for some reason, it didn't exactly register in his mind that there was someone at the door until he heard footsteps.

"Captain Hanji!" a voice from downstairs exclaimed, one Levi recognised as Armin Arlert's. Levi almost shot up in his seat at that name, and his heart almost dropped to the pit of his stomach. He held his breath, the pain of not knowing whether his wife was alive or not becoming too much to bear. And now, he'd be told what'd happened to her. "It's so late, where have you been?"

"We took a detour," Hanji chuckled, and Levi groaned quietly at her poor taste in jokes. It was somewhere around 2am and everyone was filled with so much anxiety that it really wasn't the right time for her 'comedic expertise'. "No, we got ambushed by a ton of titans and we had to hideout in this abandoned castle until it was safe. We used the night to kill the ones that were resting before coming here."

"But we got lost," a male's voice said, and Levi heard Armin physically face-palm. The captain kicked his legs over the sofa and his ears pricked up, his heart racing against his chest for any sign of his wife. He was completely frozen in place, unable to leave the room and confront the group, never mind help them. Thank goodness Armin was there. "Hanji went way too far East instead of West."

"Hey! I was listening to your directions, Heinrich," Hanji sighed, and he heard the door close behind them as the whole group wandered inside. A few members of his own squad seemed to be leaving their temporary bedroom, greeting Hanji and the others with a fake display of delight. Not that they weren't happy to see Hanji's squad; they were delighted to know the group was alive and well. They were just... tired, and too mentally traumatised from that day alone to give a proper smile.

Footsteps echoed around the house to the point that Levi had no idea if people were coming up or going down the stairs, and he finally stood up when the door to his room opened...

And his heart skipped a beat.

Standing in the doorway was Y/n, her eyes swollen from tears and her wrist in a temporary bandage. Cuts and bruises littered her visible skin, and she dropped her cloak to the floor as she rushed over, flinging herself into her husband's arms. Levi fell backward onto the sofa, his eyes wide with surprise as the woman nuzzled her face into his neck and chest, unable to get enough of him. A strangled breath left her as she pressed a lingering kiss to his lips, and he returned it. His hands roamed her back, gently taking off her brown jacket and examining her broken wrist.

"Y/n," he said quietly, looking up at her as she straddled his legs, hugging him with her free arm. "What happened?"

"I went to rescue Lorena Engel and fractured my wrist in the process," she said softly, sitting up and wiping her eyes as she attempted to look him in the face. "She was grabbed by a titan and I went to slice at the wrong angle... it was purely an accident."

"I'm glad to see that other than that, you're okay," he said, a small, strained smile on his lips. It wasn't that he wasn't happy to see her. In fact, he was completely overjoyed to see his wife again. It was just... really difficult to smile at that point in time, and thankfully, she understood. Then, he wrapped his arms around her waist once more and held her tightly, his face against her chest as he listened to her racing heartbeat. Tears began to escape again, and when she noticed, she planted soft kisses across his head, her hands running through his hair just as he liked. "God, I missed you so fucking much."

"I missed you too," she answered, the goosebumps that'd prickled on her body due to the cold eventually disappearing. The dim candlelight in the room was barely exuding any heat, but the warmth from her husband was enough. Just Levi being there, safe and sound, was enough.

After a while, Levi's voice entered the silent room.

"Did everyone in your squad make it?" he asked, and it took a few moments for Y/n to reply.

"Everyone except Marcus Karsten" she whispered, choking slightly. "He... lost his life a week ago. What about... you?"

"Everyone made it," Levi answered, gently rubbing her back comfortingly. He wasn't best with words, so he made sure to make up for it with actions. She seemed to like that, anyway. "I'm... thankful for that."

"Yeah, that's good," Y/n said, a genuine smile on her lips. She was grateful his squad had no fatalities. They were a good bunch of kids, and she got along with most of them. "Levi, why is there a bandage on your head?

"Little accident," he answered, amused that she was worried about the little things. His injuries didn't matter to him, but to her they were incredibly important. "I misjudged where I was going and banged my head, but it's okay."

"It better be," she chuckled quietly, even the tiniest bit of laughter meaning the world to him. He hadn't heard it in so long that he hadn't realised how desperate he was for it. "Now, I can see those little eyebags creeping onto your face. You've barely slept."

"So?" he muttered, burying his face further into her chest. "What about it?"

"God, your stubborn," she sighed, ruffling his hair. "Now that I'm here, will you try your best to fall asleep?"

"But you've only just arrived-"

"So?" Y/n answered, teasing him and brushing his forehead with her thumb. She then planted another yet smaller kiss onto his lips, one Levi tried to push further into but was denied. "You'll be seeing me all day tomorrow. Just a couple hours rest won't do any harm."

Levi knew there was no winning against his wife. She was incredibly persistent when she wanted to be, so he sighed in annoyance before falling onto his back, lying on the sofa. She lay on top of him, his arms tight around her body as she snuggled into his shoulder. A tiny sigh of relief left his lungs and he took a deep breath in, filling his nose with her scent (and the unfortunate smell of dirt and blood, but he didn't care).

As happy as he could get, Levi eventually fell asleep, holding his dearly beloved in his arms.

#levi ackerman #attack on titan #levi #shingeki no kyojin #snk #aot #anime #levi fanfiction #one-shot #angst #hurt/comfort #fluff and angst

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pretchatta · 3 years

Text

I (accidentally) rewatched the entirety of s1 of rebels recently (in my defense it is utterly flawless and possibly the best star wars content out there) anyway, when I was at the part where ezra is in the jedi temple on lothal and sees the inquisitor killing the rest of the crew his family I thought: what if that was kanan? and then this happened. (ao3 link in the source)

rating: teen, warnings for (non-permanent) character death and violence

---

Kanan was running.

Somehow, the Inquisitor had found him on Lothal. The pau’an had ambushed him at the Kothal market during his supply run and Kanan had barely escaped with his life. As market stalls had tumbled to the ground around them, the people of Lothal had screamed and fled in fear. In the panic and confusion he’d lost both the supplies and his lightsaber, so now he ran.

He just had to make it to the Ghost, and then Hera could fly them all away to safety.

He raced across the plains, prey fleeing from a predator, the waist-high grasses whipping his legs and threatening to entangle his ankles. He somehow managed to stay ahead of his pursuer, but he could feel the Inquisitor gaining on him. He tried to increase his speed, but his legs wouldn’t move any faster through the grass.

By the time he reached the ship, he was barely holding onto his lead. Panic was rising in his chest.

“Hera, take off!” he shouted, racing up the ramp. He came past Zeb coming the other way.

“I’ve got your back, Kanan!”

Kanan heard the hum of his bo-rifle activating. “Zeb, no!”

He was too slow to stop him. The clash of the staff against a lightsaber reached his ears from behind, and then his friend’s strangled yell. He turned just in time to see Zeb’s body hit the ground at the base of the ramp.

Kanan stumbled backwards, looking up and into yellow glowing eyes. The Inquisitor’s mouth split into a cruel grin that revealed rows of pointed teeth.

“Hera!” Kanan yelled again desperately. Why wasn’t she starting the engines? Couldn’t she hear him?

His flight instinct took over and he made it to the ladder, scrambling up it. As he passed the nose gun, Sabine ran onto the balcony, blasters out. He opened his mouth to tell her to stop, run, go back, but she was already shooting at the dark figure emerging below. With an almost lazy flick of his saber, the Inquisitor sent the bolts straight back to her. Her body crumpled to the deck, the holes in her bodysuit smoking. Her armour had always been too small for her; she’d left Mandalore too young to have a full-sized suit.

With no way of his own to fight back, Kanan kept going up. At every rung he fought against the pain of knowing his family were sacrificing themselves for him. He made it to the top of the ladder when he heard something that made his heart drop through his feet.

“Stop right there!”

Kanan looked down to see Ezra advancing on the Inquisitor, who had stowed his lightsaber and was about to step onto the first rung of the ladder. The pau’an turned to snarl at Kanan’s apprentice. A black-gloved hand shot out, fingers twisted into a claw, and Ezra was sent flying backwards. He hit the bulkhead with a sickening crunch and hung there, suspended for a moment, before the Inquisitor dropped his hand. Ezra fell to the floor. He didn’t move again.

“No!” Kanan screamed.

The eyes were back on him, and it was like his whole body was being drenched in fire and ice, the terror all-consuming. He fled upwards into the cockpit where, with a rush of relief, he saw Hera was already in the pilot’s seat.

“We have to go, now!”

“What is it, love? What’s happening?” She stood up to meet him in the middle, relaxed and ignorant of the slaughter below.

“It’s the Inquisitor, he found me. We have to take off!”

“But he’s already on the ship.” If she knew that, why was she being so calm? “You should take the Phantom and get yourself to safety.”

He nodded; she was right. “Yeah, okay, let’s do that. Come on, let’s go!” He took her hand and dragged her to the door that led to the rest of the ship, but she resisted.

“I’ll hold him off so you can get away.” She took her blaster out of its holster.

“No, we can fight him together!”

The pale, elongated head was already coming out of the hatch.

“Kanan, we cannot win this battle… You must run.” Her voice sounded different. She pushed him through the door. “Go, I’ll be right behind you.”

Her blaster was raised and her body half turned towards the cockpit, but she was still looking at him. She didn’t see the dark shadow moving behind her, and he was too frozen with fear to warn her.

Her lips parted in a silent cry as the red blade blossomed from the center of her chest. The light faded from her eyes, and Kanan felt agony rip through his entire body as he watched.

“No! Hera! NO!”

The blade retracted and she sank to her knees, still staring sightlessly up at him. Slowly, she tipped sideways, landing on the deck in a sprawl of limbs and lekku. Dead, like the rest of his family.

He hadn’t been strong enough to protect them, any of them. They had given their lives to protect him, and now it was his fault they were gone. He wasn’t even worthy of their sacrifice.

The Inquisitor stepped over her lifeless form, advancing on him. He stumbled backwards, barely staying on his feet, trying to keep the distance between himself and his hunter. His back hit the closed doors at the other end of the corridor.

Was there any point in fighting back, now? What was left to live for?

The lightsaber ignited again, and with a snarl, the Inquisitor lunged forward. As he watched death coming for him, he screamed, for he realised that even after everything he was still a coward. He didn’t want to die.

The lightsaber slashed downwards. Everything went black.

His throat hurt. His muscles ached. Fear – no, terror – permeated every cell in his body. Something sharp was digging into his shoulder. He was screaming, a wordless shout that continued seamlessly from where he’d been a moment before. That was why his throat hurt. He stopped, but it still felt raw. He heaved a gasping breath.

He was in his bunk on the Ghost – no, Hera’s bunk. The sheets were twisted and wrapped around him, and his whole body was covered in sweat. Had he been dreaming? No, it was too real. They were all dead. His family were dead, and it was his fault, and he was dead too–

“Kanan? Kanan, wake up! It’s just a dream, please, love, you’re dreaming, wake up.”

Something was shaking him, and he realised the pain was from fingers gripping his shoulder.

“Hera?” he asked hoarsely, because even though it couldn’t possibly be her, he’d recognise that voice anywhere.

“It’s me, love, I’m here.”

A soft hand cupped his cheek and turned his head to look at–

“Hera!”

He dived at her, wrapping his arms around her blissfully warm body, the forcefulness of his movement nearly taking them both off the bed and onto the floor. He didn’t care. He squeezed her tightly, feeling how alive she was, how real, clinging to her like a lifeline.

“You’re alive,” he whispered, rocking backwards and forwards, not letting her go. Tears streamed down his face, tears of relief and pain and love and fear.

“It’s okay, it was just a nightmare, you’re okay now,” she soothed, stroking his back with one arm – the other was trapped between them and unlikely to escape from his vice-like grip on her. “I’m okay. Everyone’s okay, you’re on the Ghost, we’re all safe, there’s nothing to be afraid of here.”

“It was – s-so real –” he choked between sobs. His whole body was shaking now, but she continued to stroke his back and just let him hold her.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He shook his head, burying his face in her shoulder. She pressed a kiss to the side of his face and her hand moved to his head to stroke his hair. Everything about her comforted him; the shape of her body, the way it physically pressed against him, the smell of her skin, the smooth glide of her hand over his head, the soft murmuring of her voice in his ear. Hera made him feel safe in a way that no person or place had since he was fourteen.

Eventually, his heart rate slowed to something nearer its normal pace and his breathing evened out. He loosened his grip on Hera and allowed her to find a more comfortable position, but didn’t completely let go of her; he wasn’t ready for that just yet. The fear and grief from the nightmare still lingered, tendrils of darkness lurking in the corners of his mind, but he felt somewhat in control of himself again. The dream may have been all of his worst fears rolled into one, tortuous visual, but it was just that; a dream. It wasn’t real.

He breathed in and opened himself to the Force. Immediately he felt Hera beside him, her presence blazing with love and a fierce protectiveness. Expanding his awareness outwards, he felt each member of his crew; his family. They all slept soundly, their Force signatures calm and muted, dreaming their own dreams. And alive.

Despite everything, they were all miraculously, blissfully alive.

#kanan jarrus #star wars rebels #star wars: rebels #the inquisitor #kanera #hera syndulla #the grand inquisitor #scheduling this for that dead spot in my queue at midnight #fic #space family #pretchwritta

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kyberphilosopher · 4 years

Text

Wʜᴀᴛ I'ᴍ Tʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ Aʙᴏᴜᴛ

“Go ahead and cry little girl... I know how much it matters to you...I'd do whatever I could do. I'd run away and hide with you.”

Word Count: 4176

“He doesn’t care what she tells him or what they talk about, he just loves to hear the sound of her voice. Even better if she has to tell him twice. On the other hand, this could insinuate that he either has a bad memory, is distracted, or is so infatuated with her he can’t concentrate on what she’s telling him.”

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

Everybody on the Mantis seemed to be filled to the brim with something that could never be alleviated.

Things stung like a sunburn... one that was plastered to their brains and wouldn’t go away. Even when the sun would implode in on itself six billion years later, the pink marks and scars wouldn’t fade. All their problems ran so deep- arguably too deep. What could they have done but sat and waited for it to leave them?

Greez Dritus couldn’t stop gambling. The rush of it all... the chance of losing and dying and escaping it each time made him feel invincible. Even when he would lose, it felt so good. It felt right, fated. Godly, even. It nearly destroyed his relationships... almost got one of his crew members killed... but Greez had come back to save him! Not that he needed saving... but it counted for something, didn’t it?

[It didn’t.]

Cere Junda did what she could to let the guilt go. First, she tried confronting it. Then she tried burying it down. Neither of these made her feel any better. She tried meditating, eating, starving, sleeping, ignoring, embracing, and redirecting the guilt. Anything to defer the pain, instead of accepting it. But the more Cere deferred, the more the guilt grew. And the more the guilt grew, the more Cere shrank.

Merrin felt angry too often. Even for her own liking. It was just that, sometimes if she thought too long, or shut her eyes too tight, she could remember her childhood. She could remember being patient and small, just as willing to learn as her fellow nightsisters. She could remember that all was well. But Merrin could also remember the day the armored man came with the droids, and how she wouldn’t have to be patient until she was left alone with no one but the dead.

And Cal Kestis... Cal Kestis might’ve had the worst of it. The man suffered of no addictions, nor physical ailments. On the contrary, in fact. His body was broad and promising from work as a Rigger. Flexible and taut. It was his mind and emotions that was couldn’t seem to function properly.

But it was different from Cere and Merrin’s trauma. It was more intensified, focused, raw on both guilt and loss at once. Cal had been in a complete state of agony since he was twelve years old, since he had held his master’s hand while he died. Master Topal had died for him, after all. Maybe it was for the best that Cal be the one to live with the blame.

Cal thought about this every day. He thought about what he not only could’ve done, but should’ve done. He thought about all the people he’d never be able to love again, and why he didn’t deserve it anyway. Maybe he did have an addiction. Maybe Cal Kestis just loved making himself feel so bad over something nobody but himself hated him for.

It’s not like you were much better.

You felt incredibly heavy with the weight of all the secrets you’d been asked to keep. Strained with all the tapestries of misery you’d been tasked to weave. You were a Slicer, which wasn’t the most morally corrupt job, but it certainly made you feel morally corrupt yourself. Because you doubled as a bounty hunter, you were forced to choose yourself over others. Usually, yourself over the people and things you were turning in.

Once, you had sliced into a mans datapad in search of information you had been tasked with deleting. On this datapad, you found names. Names of children, anywhere between the ages of eight to sixteen, sold off into various different rings. A girl named Aheka Shyn was training to be a medic when she was abruptly kidnapped and sent off to make spice. A boy named Garreth was only fourteen when he’d been stolen from his junk home planet, instead to be sent to an Imperial fighting ring. And you had desperately wanted to send the man to the authorities, arrest him yourself- anything. But if you didn’t delete what you had found, you would’ve starved to death that night.

So you deleted what you found.

There were several more occasions like this, and all of them haunted your memory. You were not a bad person, or even a neutral person. You were much worse. You were a bystander, a failure, the farthest anyone could get from a hero. And you refused to blame anybody but yourself for this revelation.

You would not hate your father, nor blame your actions or lack thereof on the issues he had given you. You would not blame your mother, your brother, your sister- anyone you may or may not have in your life. You wouldn’t blame the first boy who ever broke your heart, or the first girl who had ever let your hands wander against her for false fame. It was you, all you, and if you wanted otherwise, you should’ve given otherwise.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

There are a lot of people in this world, and the next, who find sex to be pleasurable. Sometimes it’s for selfless reasons, and sometimes it’s for selfish reasons. Sometimes it’s simply because it’s one of the many cures for boredom. Maybe the purpose for your particular instance didn’t matter very much. It was pleasurable for you and Cal, and that was enough.

You’d liked Cal for a long time. It was difficult not to. First thing you knew about him was that he had a great taste in music. Second thing you knew about him was that he didn’t know when to ask and not ask questions. The third, and most obvious thing you knew about him, was that he was a good person. From anyone’s point of view but his own, he was someone to be admired and respected. His whole life, the entirety of all occupations he’d had, were based around helping others. And you knew this was further proof that you weren’t good enough for him, but that night was the night that you couldn’t resist any longer.

Cal had given you his consent, and you had given him yours. Both of you were worn out and too honest from the events of the long day, but mentally sober enough to be clear in your mindsets. You knew what was happening. No drugs, no alcohol, no manipulation. You’d found yourself in his quarters while everyone else slept for one reason or another, and then you’d done it.

The act hadn’t lasted long. Both of you were too excited at the heat and promise of intercourse from the time you’d gone without. Not because you couldn’t get intercourse, but because you couldn’t find it within yourselves to muster up enough trust for anybody to touch you so. But then something had snapped between you and Cal, resulting in the rather hot and aroused endeavor.

When it was done and the finger tipped shaped bruises were beginning to form on your hips, your first clear thought cut through like a knife. [“Oh, fuck.”] It wasn’t because there was a good chance that Cal had partially finished inside of you. It wasn’t because either of you had failed to think of any quick source of protection. It was because the consequences of your actions stretched beyond the physical ones.

Were you in a relationship now? What if you weren’t? What if you wanted to be, and he didn’t? What if he wanted to be, and you said otherwise? What if this meant nothing to him? You didn’t know if you believed Cal to be that type of person, but your work as a Bounty Slicer before joining the Mantis crew was enough to teach you to never assume anything about anyone. Where were either of you to go from here?

Cal Kestis was in no position to be in a relationship. He’d told you that tonight, not with his lips, but with his fingers. When people become intimate as you have, sometimes they manage to share more than just their bodies. Cal had managed to share with you just why and how you were wrong about his mental and emotional state. He’d revealed his anguish, his fear of losing people. He’d revealed that he was angry deep inside, that he’d had more than a few regrets in his life. You didn’t know how or why- you’d always been too respectful to ask about his past. But now you had some twisted form of confirmation.

You looked over at him, deep in thought. Cal’s skin was glistening with a thin layer of sweat as he began to regain his breath. His hair was falling in soft, orange locks by his eyes. His lashes were long and dark brown, and seemed heavy as he blinked. You can see the old, mauve gash that stretches from his neck to his cheek like a line in a poem.

The boy raises his veined, left hand to push his hair back. With close eyes and a heaving chest, he says, “was it alright?”

In truth, it was much, much better than alright. Maybe you had low standards for not being touched for so long, but you really believed it was fantastic. A little blurred together from the pace and the clouded mind, but unmistakable in the sensations you’d earned from it. “Yes,” you managed to reply.

Cal sighed finally, eyes still shut. His breathing was beginning to calm down at this point, but your mind was still racing. With his green orbs still glued shut, Cal reaches his arm around you, and rolls to the side. In a fluid motion, without much effort at all really, Cal pulls you towards him until your bare back meets his bare chest.

Cal groans lazily a few more times as he adjusts his body around until he’s completely comfortable. He falls asleep in a matter of seconds. You on the other hand, feel tired, but buzzed. Almost like your deep dark thoughts have the same affect as caffeine.

What the hell was that? You cry out in your mind. What the hell are we going to do now?

But, despite the thoughts that created such anguish after such a pleasurable experience, you could feel yourself sinking into Cal’s embrace. His chest was warm and inviting, and broad enough to snuggle into it at any angle. You didn’t fight too hard to keep your eyes from coming to a stiff close.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

This brings us to now, and why you’ve only said one word to Cal since that night.

It happened about four days ago at this point. You should’ve stayed and voiced your concerns to the boy, but you hadn’t. Instead you’d fallen into a dreamless sleep, only to wake up hours later when the Mantis shook coming out of hyperspace. Cal had removed his arm from around you and turned away, so it was easy to hop up, throw your undergarments on, and rush back to your room before anyone could deduce anything.

It wasn’t that you specifically regretted what you had done- you liked Cal. You liked Cal a lot, actually. The night you spent pressed against him only proved and accelerated that much. But you were an observant person, and you were observant enough to understand that you might’ve just ruined everything.

You weren’t good enough, or worthy enough to be with Cal. He wasn’t perfect, (which would bring you to your next point), but you were even farther from it. How many lives had you ruined just by trying to scrape by? Cal saved and bettered lives like it was nothing. He’d helped the partisans of Kashyyyk without asking for anything in return. He’d informed a single mother of her partners death with as much humility as he could. He’d shown enough empathy towards the Nightsister’s to make even Merrin budge. And you? You hated yourself for all the people you’d let down and would continue to let down into the next life.

But Cal wasn’t in any state of mind to love you. He wasn’t cruel, nor manipulative. But he was damaged and scared of something that scared you more. So how was he ever going to love you? How was he going to put up with you? To take on more suffering than he already struggled with? You couldn’t do that to him, and the option of breaking your heart seemed all the kinder.

And yet, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You knew the moment you would be alone with him again, it could’ve gone one of two ways. Way One: that Cal would inform you that he loved you- falsely- and you would fall into his strong arms again and repeat your heated actions. On the other hand, there was Way Two: the way in which Cal told you he loved you, but he couldn’t go any further. Then it would come to an end. Both options upset you, so you decided to freeze yourself in time. Cal could neither lie, nor harm you so long as you kept away from him.

And, as stated above, this went on for four days.

So, there was a build up of frustration within the walls that you’d constructed around yourself. It was a stalemate, and it didn’t take long for you to crack.

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

It started slow- the welling of tears across your lower lash line, the flushing of your cheeks, the trembling of your lips. You tried to deny it from happening. You practically shouted at yourself not to cry. It was so stupid. So, so stupid. So... why was it happening?

It overwhelmed you quickly. Your eyes squinted, smearing the drops across your eyes and making your vision blurry. You bit your bottom lip to stop the trembling, but then your nose began to sniffle. It burned to inhale the snot again, and your lips started to quake again. You were lucky you were alone, you thought, before you let the tears fall.

It was night. Or, as nightly as space could get, you supposed. Greez had put the Mantis on autopilot, and hyperspace was whizzing by in indigo and baby blue streaks. White stars laced by in between lines, past the glass of the windows and the metal that had created the space.

All was asleep, except for you. So you allowed yourself to cry, but only if you held yourself to keeping the volume down. And you did. On the steps by the Latero’s terrarium. All of the seeds had grown into miniature plants and trees and flowers by now, blooming in vibrant colors of all kinds. The picture would’ve been so neat and beautiful, if not for your form shaking as you hunched over.

You should not have slept with Cal. Did you regret it? Not exactly. But you still felt so guilty about how much you cared for him, and the knowledge that he couldn’t have actually loved you. You might not have been able to love him too. There was just so many issues that you’d been able to pick up on, especially since you’d done the deed. But Greez had his gambling, Cere had her guilt, Merrin had her anger, and Cal had... Cal had everything. Everything you had shared, every burning mark he’d left on you, it all felt false. Like maybe it wasn’t out of emotions, but a wrong idea.

What a ridiculous thing to cry about, you thought as you cried. But you couldn’t stop. The tears were leaking from you in pearly beads, glistening and swirling with your stress. As much as you hated to admit it, it felt good to cry. You hadn’t done it in a long time, years maybe. There was more than just everything with Cal that was exiting your system along with the tears.

It was from the stress of your father, and whatever he may or may have not done. It was from the stress of work, the stress of your past. The guilt. All of it. It was pouring out of you silently, like the way that someone wrings out a washcloth. The sounds were minimal, and if anyone woke up and heard it, it could easily be mistaken for the little critter on board eating.

However, the person that woke up and heard the noises, didn’t mistake it for the little critter on board eating. In fact, he thought it sounded a lot like someone who was crying, or sniffling. Even if he hadn’t been so observant with his hearing, he could still sense the waves of sadness coming from just past the hallway. They echoed throughout his chest like a wind chime, rippling through him until he felt sad too.

Cal Kestis had a habit of taking on others people’s emotions. He had, even if it didn’t always shine through, an enormous amount of empathy. He had it even for his enemies, and it was the cause of a lot of lost fights.

The Jedi had gone to use the bathroom when his face fell. He looked to the doorway of the stairs for a while, seeing just the outline of someone from his view. He couldn’t make out who it was, but he was quick to rule out Merrin and Greez. This left Cere and yourself, but the hood of your jacket gave it away.

Maker, Cal had to urinate. He had to go so bad. But he went to you first without thinking about it, walking carefully as if not to disturb you. His boots were dropping on the floor louder than he would’ve liked, but it must not have been too loud, since you had not ceased your depressed bobbing or turned around to face him.

Cal didn’t like asking upset people if they were okay, because he was intelligent to understand that being upset was not equal to being okay. But his baby pink lips were already throwing the words out anyway, his voice croaking slightly from the sleep he’d woken up from. “Are you okay?” he ventured out.

Immediately, you turned around with a jump. Your cheeks were a deep shade of magenta, eye lashes long and dark and feathery. Eyes were sparkling beautifully, but for all the wrong reasons. One of your hands hastily wiped your face, as if you had simply sneezed. But Cal had already seen it. He knew you were crying, and you knew that he knew.

“Oh, uh, yeah,” you said as your voice cracked slightly. “Yeah. I’m good.”

“You sure?” Cal asked as he took a hesitant step forward. “You don’t look okay.”

Your eyes flitted from him to the miniature tree in Greez’s terrarium. The branches were curled into detailed little swirls, with leaves sprouting in bushes of bright and dark greens alike. In truth, craning your neck to look over your shoulder strained it for you, and looking away alleviated it just as much as it alleviated seeing the boy. “I’m cool.”

You hoped he would leave it and go away. This was a bit of a long shot, and of course he didn’t. Because Cal Kestis had a big, caring heart that was probably corrupted, but big and caring nonetheless.

He walked nearer to you until finally another step would’ve resulted with him on the stairs too. You didn’t dare look up at him, keeping your eyes on the tree like your life depended on it.

“I don’t think you’re okay,” Cal said in a very tired, but very soft and real voice.

You swallowed, trying to keep the tears from falling again. Your eyes had already begun to glisten again like a threat, and your breathing was becoming shaky. But you were a big girl, and you knew you could keep it together if you just kept your eyes on the tree. Where had Cal gotten it? Kashyyyk?

“I mean maybe I’m tired but... you don’t look okay,” he continued. You could feel his soft green eyes on you as your nostrils flared with anxiety. “You don’t sound okay.”

“I’m just having an off night,” you decided to say. Which, by the way, was a safe enough thing to respond with. It wasn’t necessarily a lie- you were having an off night. But somehow it still felt like it wasn’t the truth.

“Can you please look at me?” the boy said softly, though it felt somewhat dominant.

Maybe if you looked at him and kept telling yourself to keep it together, you could. Maybe it would help. Like confronting a dare or showing up an enemy. Was that how you saw Cal now? An enemy?

Your knees croaked in protest as you pushed yourself off the floor. When you stood at your full height, much lower than him due to being a step lower, you lost sight of the tree. Cal’s left shoulder was in the way, covered by a black shirt and dark blue poncho. You followed the seam of it down where his collarbone would be, up the neck to where you had left a few marks, around his jaw and finally to his eyes. They were piercing and begging, and you knew at once you shouldn’t have accepted the challenge of looking into them.

“Are you okay Y/N?” he repeats.

You bite your bottom lip as the tears well again, telling yourself to nod yes. But for some reason, the message doesn’t get from your brain to the nerves or muscles in your head, and instead it shakes no.

Cal reaches his arms around your shoulders again and pulls you into him until your head hits his chest. It’s a bit of a weird angle and position, but it feels nice to rest against something. He’s quick to notice your trembling and slowly eases his knees into a bend as you follow, though you’re more melting like putty.

You start crying again right before he hits the stairs. It’s a little louder than it was before Cal arrived, but only because he knows you feel more protected and comfortable enough to do so. Still, he keeps you close as both a courtesy to others, and yourself. And it’s nice because you can see the tree again, but this time you can hear the rhythm of his heart as well.

Both of his strong, engineer hands are caressing you- one against your shoulder and the other in your hair. Stroking softly and quietly as a contradiction to your sobs, like something calm against something wracking.

It made you cry more when you realized how calm Cal was to all of this. He stayed steady and upright so you could be comfortable against him- you could already feel the tension forming in his back. But his eyes were closed instead of looking around awkwardly. He wasn’t asleep, but it was like his body was entirely dedicated to taking care of you in the moment. He knew how much it meant for you to cry, even if you thought the reasons were stupid and ridiculous and you’d done your best to stop it. He let it happen anyway, and he’d let it happen on him. And if you didn’t know, that’s an incredibly nice thing to do for someone.

You felt like a little girl again, but this time it felt better. It felt like maybe someone actually wanted you to be okay.

Cal didn’t even ask what was wrong. Not yet, anyway. He just stayed in his position, tracing loving circles into your skin without really knowing the reasons why. He cared, but not as much as he cared about you being alright first. That meant something to you. It meant that he cared about you more than whatever reasons that galaxy could come up with. It meant that he’d put you first, before logic or shadows of facts or evidence. For now, at least.

In turn, Cal wanted to do everything he could for you. He didn’t know what was hurting you. He’d ask after, when he’d whisked you off to somewhere special and warm and safe that existed just between the two of you. Like your own little planet with a thousand different rings and scenery. Because, like said before, Cal Kestis has an enormous amount of empathy, and a very big heart.

So, you thought, maybe he can love me like I love him.

[He could.]

.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ✫*.

I really came into this trying my best but then I feel like it slowly spiraled as I progressively got more tired. I always say I’ll go back and edit but then I get distracted by the Clone Wars and start something new.

This was based of the song Daddy Issues by the Neighbourhood. I suggest listening to it. AND if there’s any other characters you’d like me to use for this song than tell me! I really like it a lot. anyway, butts.

Taglist: @omg-we-really-doo @haztory @fanficsforheartandsoul [can’t even remember if you’re actually on my taglist but i just tag you in everything anyway i’m so sorry], @anakinswhore @chokemeanakin @kit-jpg

#Cal kestis #cal kestis x reader #cal kestis imagine #cal x reader #jedi fallen order x reader #jfo #jedi fallen order imagine #jedi fallen order fanfiction #cal kestis fanfiction #x reader #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #cal kestis imagines #cal fanfiction #cal-kestis-imagine

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spicysoftsweet · 3 years

Text

Chapter 8

Masterlist

Baji Keisuke was the king of mixed signals, Kumi decided, the thought leaving a bitter taste in her mouth.

There was a part of her that wondered if that night had been a dream, if she had been so hurt she’d manage to dream up a situation where Baji’s feelings for her were crystal clear now that she wore her heart on her sleeve. There was another part of her that wondered if she’d conjured up every good thing about him in her head to ignore the type of person he actually was.

The type of person who would do this.

“I’m fine.”

Chifuyu pulled away from Kumi’s hands that slowly reached for the bandages surrounding half his face but not enough that she couldn’t gently touch the sides of his face with her shaking fingers, moving his head from side to side to get a closer look.

Kaksi fumed nearby and Takemichi paled, wondering if it was wrong to have gone to the two girls for intel as Kumi’s eyes ran over Chifuyu’s injuries. Kumi was gravely silent, her mind clearly racing a mile a minute despite the neutral expression she bore.

“Who the hell does he think he is?” Kaksi yelled, genuinely and righteously upset. She had been tolerating his odd behavior towards her, towards Kumi, towards everyone so far, but this - this was possibly the last straw for her.

If he could do this to his friend, then what was the point?

“He has a reason,” Chifuyu started, but Kaksi wouldn’t have it.

“Bullshit! You can barely see!”

Kumi let her hands drop to her side and nervously ran a hand through her hair as she took a couple steps. Chifuyu gave her a once-over, unclear of how to gauge her reaction and then turned back to Kaksi whose fists were clenched and positively vibrated with rage.

“It was a…,” Chifuyu paused, unsure if he really needed to explain all of this to these girls, then continued, “test of faith.”

Kumi let out a sudden nervous laugh, crossing her arms. “So he goes to church now?”

She was somewhere between upset and irritated, then apologized for being curt.

Takemichi suddenly spoke up.

“Baji left Toman for another gang called Valhalla... Which was what I was going to talk to you about, but it seems like you didn’t know,” he said, a little bit of disappointment in his voice. "We were at their hideout and then this-"

Chifuyu shot him a glance that suggested he was talking too much and Takemichi paled before trailing off.

Kumi’s eyebrows furrowed. He had been wearing Toman’s garb when he came to see her just days ago… or had she just imagined it?

“Did something happen?” She asked. "Like a fight or something?" At least to her, Toman had always been Baji’s priority; she couldn’t imagine him suddenly changing his mind now, unless there had been an incident.

Plus he had talked to her like nothing happened, but then again, she had felt like something was strange about him for the past few weeks.

What else did she not know?

Takemichi shook his head, and Kaksi grew impatient, both with the fact that Takemichi had no useful information to offer and the simple fact that he knew things that she didn’t, that Kumi didn’t, and she still had no idea where this guy had come from.

It was suspicious - maybe she was even a little jealous - how quickly Takemichi had gotten Mikey to open up. Something she had wanted for so long-

She didn’t know why she was thinking this way, back to the matter at hand.

“Where’s Valhalla’s hideout? We’re going there right now,” Kaksi declared.

Chifuyu let out a small incredulous laugh before his eyes widened when he realized she was dead serious. He looked at Takemichi who looked genuinely horrified, then at Kumi whose eyes were lowered, now deciding that her fingers and thumbs were suddenly very interesting to her. He couldn’t sense the turmoil inside her, and Kaksi was too righteously upset to notice by now.

Maybe Kaksi needed an outlet. She’d spent enough time feeling sorry for herself and now was ready to raise hell.

“Where is it?” She repeated to Takemichi.

Takemichi startled and Chifuyu gave him a warning look.

“Don’t tell them, Takemitchy.”

Kaksi glared at Chifuyu.

“If you don’t tell us, we’ll go find it ourselves. It won’t take a lot of asking to find out if it was that easy for you guys to find, after all,” she threatened. “Let’s go, Kumi,” she said, now grabbing Kumi, who seemed lost in her own world, by the wrist.

Kumi resisted as Kaksi pulled, and this actually surprised her.

“I-I don’t want to see him,” she finally admitted in a small voice, not looking up. “Or Kazutora,” she murmured. “I think we should just stay out of it this time.”

Kaksi genuinely appeared to be in shock.

“What?”

Kaksi let go of her arm gently, her rage fading slightly.

“Kumi?”

Kumi looked up at her, tears welling up in her eyes.

“I don’t know what to think anymore,” she said, a tear finally breaking loose and rolling down her cheek.

Was he good? Bad? Kind then not? Did she even know him? Even if he supposedly liked her now, she couldn’t forget that he was once her bully in some capacity, especially looking at Chifuyu’s battered face now, she wondered if there was something she was missing, and if he’d snap at her too.

Don’t hate me if I mess up.

What did that even entail?

Kaksi walked over to her crying friend and put her arms around her. “You don’t have to come if you’re worried, I get it,” she reassured her.

Kumi nodded.

“But I’m going,” she continued, pulling back now. Kumi’s tears had the opposite effect, making Kaksi even more adamant that she give the two - at the very least, Baji - a piece of her mind. “Takemichi, you’re coming with me,” she insisted.

“What?!”

Kaksi was already off, somehow in the right direction, and Takemichi and Chifuyu found themselves following suit before they knew it.

---

The smoke that greeted the four of them - Kumi had decided she wasn’t going to let her friend go on her own after all - was suffocating, even though the doors to the abandoned arcade were still technically closed.

Kumi held onto the sleeve of Kaksi’s shirt reflexively, slightly behind her and with her other hand subconsciously raised before her. Yes, she’d been around delinquents for the past two years, but she’d never been in or even close to the fray, and without having even stepped foot to breach the hideout, she could already tell she and her best friend were in incredibly hostile territory. Just the simple act of stepping over a ‘no trespassing’ had set her on edge.

“Now that you see it, will you go home already?” Chifuyu finally said, exasperated. The four of them had stalled in their advancement, possibly because Kaksi had had a moment of clarity, and Chifuyu expected them to go back.

However, the glass doors suddenly slid open, revealing a couple of grunts that were clearly low on the hierarchy. The taller of the two unnecessarily mature-looking teenagers looked at the four of them, probably having kept watch from outside, and laughed once he saw Chifuyu.

“You’re here for another beating? Didn’t have enough?” He jeered.

“And that scared bitch from Toman is here again, and he brought extra bitches with him!” The other laughed, hands still shoved in the white Walhalla jacket uniform as he threw his head back. Before Kaksi could turn and start running, he’d already grabbed her by her hair and started to drag her inside despite kicking and screaming.

Kumi screamed after her and tried to pry his hands off her friend but immediately was scooped up from behind and restrained by the second watchman.

“Fuck!” Chifuyu hissed, running in after the two of them, cursing himself for having tried to call Kaksi’s bluff rather than firmly telling them to mind their own business. He hadn’t anticipated either of them actually being this stupid, and now...

He threw a punch that connected with Kaksi’s captor’s back, but wasn’t enough to get Kaksi free, narrowly dodging a heavy kick launched in his direction.

“Let go of me, you piece of shit!” Kaksi shrieked, thrashing as Kumi began to wail for help, muffled by the clasp of a dirty hand over her mouth.

The shuffling of hands and fists and kicks right outside the hideout was loud enough that the inside stirred with excitement. The two girls were dragged in along with Takemichi and Chifuyu closely behind, brought in by additional gang members.

Kumi, and even Kaksi, were afraid enough by now, being ogled by all these strange boys, more unfriendly and harsh-looking, jeering boys (and probably some adult men) than they’d ever been in their life.

This had been a terrible idea, Kaksi thought, as fire tore through her scalp from the hold on her hair.

“Hey, we got visitors!” The first boy, grip on Kaksi’s hair still unrelenting. The taunts and whoops and leers grew louder, as they were brought to the leaders of the crew. Kaksi considered for a minute that she was done for - she knew what some gangs could do to a girl like her.

But Kazutora would never be part of those gangs, right?

“You’ve got what?”

Kaksi gasped, recognizing the voice immediately.

“Visi-”

The harsh thwock of knuckles hitting flesh almost silenced the crowd, and Kaksi felt herself get yanked backwards as the man dragging her toppled backwards.

“I’ll fucking kill you, you piece of shit!” Kazutora was on top of the crumpled body in seconds, dealing additional punches on either side of the teen’s face, his teeth bared in a vicious expression.

Kumi gasped as she watched the growing crowd freeze as Kazutora laid into the young man’s face, and the one who had restrained her released her immediately and set her down on her feet, surprising her even. From just a few feet away, she noticed Baji, also in Valhalla garb, new and nothing like the Toman uniform, glaring past her, his fists clenched as though he were itching for a fight as well.

The guy who had let go of her bowed, begging Kazutora to stop on behalf of his partner, and the young man paid him absolutely no mind, until another young man laughed loudly.

“Kazutora, we get it, she’s off limits,” he chuckled, as he walked forward. Kazutora paused, expression still frozen, then turned to look at Kaksi and frowned before getting to his feet.

He opened his mouth as though he planned to say something, then changed his mind. To Kumi, he looked blankly, then asked flatly,

“Did these bastards tell you where this place was?”

Kazutora pointed directly at Chifuyu and Takemichi’s general direction, the two also frozen in place as they stared at the bloodied pulp on the ground.

Kumi froze, then nodded slowly then shook her head quickly.

“T-they didn’t want us to come… but Kaksi forced it so-”

Baji stepped forward at this time, giving her a harsh look, mean enough that she could feel her stomach turn, then walked towards Chifuyu. Chifuyu actually flinched, a microscopic action, but Kumi and Baji both noticed, and the latter might have even been angered by it.

“Did I hit you too hard the other day or not hard enough?” Baji spat. “Why the fuck would you bring her here?” His fists clenched tighter and he leaned forward and before Kumi knew it, she’d moved closer to him, pulling his arm gently.

“Please stop.”

He shrugged her off instantly, staring down Chifuyu. Kumi tried again, while Kaksi froze in place watching the two of them. She wasn’t sure she had ever seen Baji this upset.

“Kei-” Kumi murmured. Her hands reached for him again, hesitant just from the hostile energy that seemed to radiate for him, and before she could touch him, he whipped around and turned to her, eyes wild.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” He snapped.

There seemed to be a sudden stillness to the air, or maybe Kumi just imagined it, as she recoiled at the harshness of his voice. Before she could come up with something to say, he continued.

“Don’t you get the hint?” He continued. “Get lost. ”

Kumi’s heart skipped a beat, and for a moment she thought about the first time she’d met him, where instead of this twisted frown he sported right now, the face red with irritation and grit teeth, he’d sported an amused smile like he could swallow her up at any moment.

Get lost.

Had he ever liked her? He hadn’t, had he?

It had all been in her head, this idea that he was a good person with some bad qualities, and that she could look past them, that it could be different, because at least he liked her, right?

Before she could burst into tears, Kaksi seemed to move like lightning in between the two of them, and forgetting where she was, who she was, why she was there, her hand drew back to slap Baji across the face. He stopped her before her palm made contact, and Kaksi glared at him as he held on to her wrist.

“You fucking asshole,” she hissed.

He didn’t say anything, but let go of her arm. Kaksi let it drop to her side.

“You changed,” she told him. She laughed bitterly, glancing at Kazutora as though to imply that this applied to him too, as Kumi finally lost control over tears that were welling up in her eyes, letting them stream wordlessly down her cheeks.

The young man, tall and brown-haired with an almost perpetual leer to his face, who had mocked Kazutora’s sudden fury again laughed, louder this time.

“Are you bringing your relationship problems to the gang? Do we need a rule that says don’t mix business with pleasure?” He said, clapping, truly rioting as Kumi tried to manage the sensation of her heart shattering.

Baji’s eyes didn’t leave Kumi, still shaking with something between anger and confusion and maybe an instant bit of regret, he wasn’t sure, but she suddenly sniffled loudly, then looked him straight in the eyes, fiercer than she had for the past two years that they’d known each other.

“Fuck you.”

He may have been taken aback by the severity of her words, but he didn’t show it, stone-faced for a moment before looking away.

It was for her own good, right? Do what was necessary and apologize later.

Don’t hate me.

Valhalla was different from Toman. Someone like her, a deer in headlights, could genuinely get hurt.

Please don’t hate me.

He tried not to look back as Kumi hurried out of the glass doors alone. Part of him wondered if he should go after her, but instead he diverted his attention back to Kaksi who had dug in her heels.

Despite the uneasiness that took over Kaksi, standing there surrounded by so many dangerous and much stronger people than her, she decided that walking away from Kazutora now wasn’t an option. Takemichi and Chifuyu stood behind her, waiting for her to realize there was nothing she could do or say to reason with her ex-boyfriend or Baji.

She still had to try. Kaksi moved forward, walking past Baji and grabbing Kazutora by his arms, attempting to shake him, anger more than anything else taking over her now. Baji muttered in annoyance but knew better than to interfere. He wished she wasn’t so stubborn sometimes.

“What the fuck are you doing?” she asked, loud enough to express how she felt, but low enough that not everyone could hear.

Kazutora didn’t say anything, watching her with those eyes she didn’t recognize.

“Kazutora, please,” she begged. “This is not where you belong.”

Her ex-boyfriend chuckled, clearly not taking anything she could say seriously.

“And where do you think I belong?”

“With me!” she exclaimed as if the answer was evident. “With your friends! With Toman! With Mi-”

“Don’t fucking talk about him!” Kazutora yelled his turn to hold the girl, violently shaking her.

Baji watched the scene unfold, surprised by the harsh way his friend handled Kaksi, but not displaying any real emotion. The way he gripped her arms and pushed her back then pulled her in was very different from the way he would normally gently hold her hand and bring it to his lips. For a moment Takemichi and Chifuyu were afraid of what Kazutora would do to her, but it seemed that Kaksi was the most afraid as she burst into tears still firmly held by her ex-boyfriend.

Kazutora stopped moving, automatically releasing her as his eyes widened. He didn’t want to hurt her; Kaksi was the last person he wanted to see crying which was why he didn’t want her here. He wished that she could understand how he felt, the fury that Mikey brought each time Kazutora thought about him. But all there was and all she could see was madness in his eyes and in his actions.

Kaksi didn’t understand him anymore, she couldn’t understand him. For a moment she wondered if she ever did? Yes, of course. She used to know Kazutora like the back of her hand. But the young man standing in front of him wasn’t the boy she had fallen for years ago and she was afraid she would never have him back.

Tears kept rolling down her cheeks and she realized only confusion and sadness remained inside of her. She wanted to speak but she couldn't find any more words. Kazutora took a step back, looking at Takemichi and Chifuyu instead.

“I should fucking kill you for having brought her here,” he said. “Get the fuck out of my sight.”

Kazutora gave one last look to the girl and it was while wiping off her tears that she walked away. Takemichi and Chifuyu followed her closely. But she wished she could have left with Kazutora and Baji by her side too.

#baji x oc #kazutora x oc #tokyorev #off target effects #collab fic #mae.writing #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyo revengers #longfic

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