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fluffymcu · 1 year

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Request made by @the-ice-frozen-ground-red-rose I was having difficulties figuring out how to write this so I changed a few things hope you don’t mind. I also don’t know how to write the soulmates trope since I don’t really believe in it, but I tried my best 🥲

Warning: this is a lil spicy, another warning, this is pretty bad💀 I’m horrible at writing spicy stuff and I’m not used to writing such a detailed story like this lol

———

You were a 21 year old scientist at Pym Technologies, working closely with Hank Pym on a project about the quantum realm. Over the years, you grew closer to the Pym and Van Dyne family, and that eventually grew into the Lang family. At 25 years old, on a mission to save Janet, you were able to safely enter the quantum realm. But after a war trying to get home, with an unknown villain at the time, you were captured by the enemy. This story takes place right after these events.

———

You’re curled up on the floor, with your knees to your chest, thinking about the events that just unfolded. You were stuck now. Stuck in the quantum realm destined to a fate that Janet had lived for 30 years. You were so close to getting home, and seeing the Pym and Van Dyne family get reunited. But now, all hope is gone. You’re captured by an enemy you don’t even know.

But Janet knew.

“I can’t believe this.” Janet mumbled. She had her face in her hands and shook her head hopelessly.

You teared up at the sight. “I’m so sorry. I feel like this is all my fault. We were so close to getting home. We were right there. I’m so sorry.” You said, looking at Janet in the cell across from you.

“This is not your fault, y/n. None of it. You tried to get me out. And I thank you for that.” She smiled faintly, but flinched at a sound coming from afar. “But let’s not talk about that right now. Y/n listen; this…this man…he thinks he’s a god. He’s a monster, he’ll get in your head and he’ll manipulate you! You cannot trust him! He-“

“I wouldn’t trust her…” a soft spoken voice came from the shadows, startling the both of you. Heavy footsteps filled the room. A tall, muscular man came out of the shadows, revealing an intriguing and intricate suit. “Me however…. I’m not one to lie,” The man stopped right in the middle of the hallway, blocking your view of Janet. He turned to you, his blue mask dissipating. “Especially to you.”

You were taken aback at how handsome the man was, but that wasn’t the point right now. Right now you were freaked out about the whole ‘kidnapped right before being able to get home’ thing.

BUT….at the same time he was very handsome ANYWAY-

“What does that mean?” You furrowed your eyebrows at that. “Especially to you”? You didn’t know the man.

“Janet however,” he starts, avoiding the question and turning to face her. “She has a way of… shifting the blame. Don’t you?” He slightly smiled at her, but his eyes were filled with rage. In his mind, Janet was the reason they won’t be able to stop what’s coming. He won’t be able to escape this hell and win the battle that will so inevitably come.

Janet was frozen, truly speechless. This was when you started suspecting that they had some history.

“Look,” you started. “We don’t want trouble. We just want to get home.” You bargained, hugging yourself. You couldn’t stop looking at the man. He was so handsome and there was something about him that attracted you so much to him. “Green and purple…” you chuckle, him turning to face you. “Those are my favorite colors.”

For a second, his stone cold stare softens, and he slightly smirks. “I know.”

You blushed at that, looking down at your feet and holding your hands behind your back. You couldn’t explain the feeling you felt for him. You didn’t even know his name! It felt so weird, you’ve never dated; too busy at the lab, not enough time and whatnot, but for once in your life, you had time…

“So you two have history?” You pointed at Janet and the man. Janet was looking at everything but you. “You guys, like… dated or something?” You asked, your tone very protective all of a sudden. “Which I mean, that’s totally cool if you did, I’m just-“ the man smirked at your awkwardness, making your face heat up. “I’m just asking! It- you know what? That’s… none of my business actually, so. Yeah I’m just gonna shut up.” You sighed loudly, crossing your arms, “subtly” making your breasts look bigger, making kang’s smirk grow. He didn’t hide the fact that he was looking either. What could he say, you were sexy in every universe.

“Yes, we have history,” he started. You couldn’t help but falter at that. “But not the kind you think.” He assured, smiling at your sense of relief. He turned to Janet and his gaze hardened once again. “More like, unfinished business.” He sighed. “You see, Janet wants to get out of here.” He turns to you. “And I… need… to get out of here.”

“You must have been here a while, like Janet. I can’t imagine what that must’ve felt like.” You leaned against the wall looking nonchalant. “If only you had a… a special partner to help you pass the time-ahem!” You coughed, covering your mouth and looking the other way. Kang had to find the strength not to laugh at him picking up what you were puttin’ down.

“Well, you know, I managed but… there were times when I’d wish I had a certain someone there with me…” he sighed, turning briefly to Janet. “Anyway,” he started, pacing slowly around the room. “Your friends are likely to come for you both, I reckon very soon…” he smirked. “And I need something from them to help me get my ticket out of here.”

“Why do you need to get out of here now?” You asked. This place didn’t seem so bad, and after 30 years, you’d have gotten used to the place by now.

“I need to stop what’s coming.”

“What’s coming?”

“…..Me.” His smile faded. “A lot of me.”

You shrugged. “I mean, don’t see what’s wrong with that,” you mumbled to yourself but saw his smirk grow. “Heh… but that’s just me.” You smiled awkwardly and internally face palmed at that. I’m really ruining my chance with this man. You thought.

“I wish there wasn’t anything wrong with that,” he mumbled, sadness in his eyes. “But unfortunately, life isn’t so merciful.” He stared into the abyss for a second before snapping out of it and clasping his hands. “So. If you want to stop what coming… and trust me… you do…” he turns to Janet. “You’ll convince your friends to get me what I need.” And with that, he left the room.

You felt like you were at a cliff hanger there. He just..left? And he didn’t even acknowledge you after he talked to Janet?

You slid back down the wall and rested your hands on your knees. “I thought we had something.” You mumbled, clearly a bit confused. This caught Janet’s ear.

“Wait. Y/n… you don’t feel anything for him… right?” She looked at you cautiously. You looked away at the wall for a few moments before shrugging. “No… No y/n you can’t! He’s a liar! He- he- he’s not to be trusted, I told you! You… you cant!” She didn’t know what to say. Right now she was just shocked that you would be considering liking that monster. “How could you like him?!”

“Don’t ask me that!” You snapped. Janet stopped, taken aback. “You call him a monster, a manipulator, a liar, but I didn’t see any of that! I know you spent 30 years down here, and I’m not doubting your judgement but…”

“…But you are…” she gasped, staring at you. “You don’t believe me.”

You sighed, furrowing your brows. “It’s not that I don’t believe you Janet, I just… I’m feeling things. Things I haven’t felt. For anyone. I’m just curious is all. And if he really was such a monster, I don’t see why he would’ve kept you alive all these years- I’m just saying… there may be more sides to him. Everybody has a story.” You mumbles the last part, turning away from Janet and laying on the floor, trying to fall asleep.

Janet was shocked, shaking her head at your inexperience as she settled on the floor, closing her eyes to enter a dreamless sleep.

————

You were a light sleeper, so you regained consciousness when you heard the wall of your cell dissipate. You instantly felt another person in the room with you so you opened your eyes to see the tall man towering over you. You quickly sat up, confused as to why he was letting you out of your cell. “What’s going on?” You stood up and hugged yourself, feeling a bit insecure now.

The man only stares at you for a few moments, taking in your beauty before speaking. “You know, I find it so…. poetic almost…. how time always brings you to me… in every universe.” He spoke softly, careful not to wake Janet up.

You stood there, processing what he said. “Brings… me? To you?” You pointed at yourself. Kang reached a hand out for you to take.

“I’d like to show you something.” He says, holding his hand out. You should be scared, Janet’s words of caution run through your mind. You should heed them, yet, you don’t. You’re not afraid of the man. You actually trust him. And he hasn’t even given you his name.

Without another thought, you take his hand, and he leads you out of the jail, into what looked like his personal bedroom. Admiring the detail of the palace, you smile slightly at what you’re seeing. “It’s a nice place you got here.” You say awkwardly.

Kang fully smiles at you for the first time, making you smile back. He’s even more handsome when he smiles, god.

“It serves its purpose.” He shrugs, taking this moment to look you up and down, subtly biting his lips. You almost shrink yourself in, blushing under his gaze, feeling nervous almost insecure. But you knew you looked good. And so did he.

“You… wanted to show me something?” You clear your throat, rubbing your hands together.

Kang quickly nods and with a flick of his hand, images out of thin air are shown, not just any images; pictures of you. With him. The pictures were 1, then 2, then 10, then 100 and then thousands of pictures of the both of you flashed in a matter of seconds, each one a different universe…and you were both together. Lovers. In every universe.

You pointed at the screen. “This…… we….. we’re together… in all of these universes?” You whispered, lost in your thoughts. Kang sat on the armrest of the chair, smiling sadly at all the pictures and nodding his head.

“Every single one. We are what’s called an absolute point in time.” He smirks, looking at the last picture shown of him kissing a pregnant you’s belly. You raise your eyebrows at that.

“We have kids…” you laugh softly, feeling butterflies in your stomach. How could a man like the picture be a monster?

“We do.” Kang gets up and walks slowly to you, taking your hand in his and the other hand on your cheek. “It was only a matter of time before time itself brought you to me.”

“So you knew. You knew we were meant to be together and you knew that I was coming here… that’s why you were ready when I came to save Janet.” You said, piecing the puzzle together. He nods and looked into your eyes lovingly.

“I’m just glad I have you now.” He sighed, looking at your lips.

You couldn’t deny it now. This was your destiny. An absolute point in time, there was no escaping it, and not that you wanted to anyway. You smiled and held his face in your hands.

“You have me.”

He softly kissed you and you quickly returned the kiss, melting into him like you’ve done this a million times. (And technically you have!) Kang slowly picks you up by your thighs and leans you against the wall as he kisses you. You’re lost in this bliss now and you no longer believe Janet’s claims of this man being a monster. If he’s capable of loving you like this, there’s no way.

You’re in paradise right now with him pressing his hips against yours, and squeezing your thighs. “I’ve been waiting so long for you.” Kang mumbles in between kisses, kissing you down your neck, hitting your sweet spot. You lay your head back and moan at the sensation, your hand on the back of his neck.

“Then don’t keep yourself waiting.” You teased, gasping as he kisses your sweet spot again.

Kang then walks you over to his bed and gently lowers you down. You smirk and look him up and down. “So uh… does the suit come off? Cause it’s the middle of the night and you don’t have pajamas on.”

With a smirk, kang opens his arms and the suit quickly disappears into metal rings that came out of the floor, leaving him in his under garments. It was then that you saw how truly muscular and how in shape he was. “Damn.” Was all you could say. “I get this in every universe?!” You chuckled breathlessly, gladly returning the kiss and he climbed on top of you. He takes his time, grinding his hips with yours, relishing in the sound of your moans. You’re his now, and with you by his side, he knows he’s unstoppable now.

———

“Oh my god…” you pant, blanket covering your body. “That was….” You look at him with a surprised expression. “Let’s just say I’m glad I’m stuck with you as my soulmate.” You giggle at his smile. “I mean like… you had to have practice down here. You can really have spent 30 years without-“ you pause when he shakes his head. “Really!?!” You gasp. “You waited for me?” Your voice softened.

“Of course. I can’t imagine being with anyone but you, y/n. You’re my heart’s desire.” He said, looking into your soul. Your eyes teared up and you turned your body to face him. You never had someone care for you like this. Ever. It was an honor.

You scooted closer to him and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you even closer. You ran your thumb over his scars as you looked into his eyes. “I love you and I don’t even know your name.” You whispered breathlessly.

He smiled at how you love him so quickly, so easily, and how you’re already submissive to him. He knows now that you’re with him no matter what. You’re his.

“Kang.” He kisses you softly. “But you can call me Nathaniel.”

—————-

Omg bruh I hate this so much I’m such a crusty writer 😭😭lolll but i did my best I wanna write a second part depending how this one does but it would kinda just be Janet’s reaction to you sleeping with Kang and then maybe Scott and the gang show up and try to go home but then you might not want to go home anymore… you found your soulmate so… 🤷🏽‍♀️ idk SHOULD I? WRITE A SECOND PART?!

#avengers #marvel #marvel mcu #kang the conqueror #kang x reader #jonathan majors

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onboardsorasora · 3 months

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Enchanted AU: Part 32

Hey everyone! Not feeling my best, but I hope this chapter is ok. When I feel better I'll link everything together

Part 1 | Last Chapter

Part 32

Daniel cackled as he overtook Charles, who had just punted Lando off the track. Max used one of the escape roads to slot in infront of Alex who had been keeping out of trouble and quietly in the lead.

In front of Daniel, Alex overtook Max at a corner, stealing the apex before Max completely committed. Daniel ran wide and Charles swooped in like a hunter. They continued for another five laps before the chequered flag flew and Max won with Alex right behind him. Daniel came third and celebrated by driving in circles, squealing. Max eventually joined him, spinning around with a huge smile on his face.

“Is this some sort of intricate mating ritual or something?” Charles took off his helmet to watch, he turned to Alex. “Do magical people like claim mates or something?”

“Mate, he's not like a wolf or something.” Lando rolled his eyes, Alex snorted.

“You’re worried about this now? You’ve been trying to set them up for weeks!” Alex was laughing openly now, Charles looked sheepish.

“Yeah but like, I didn’t consider that maybe Daniel would need to like lock him away for three business days or something!”

Lando crouched to the floor, barely able to suppress his laughter. He was turning red.

“Charles, oh dear.” Alex shook his head.

“What?! It's a realistic worry!”

“What’s a realistic worry?” Max was stepping out of his kart. Daniel was still spinning like a top.

“Oh God!” Lando couldn’t help himself, his giggles started bubbling over like a rolling boil.

Alex snorted into his hand while Charles looked like he was weighing the benefits of asking Max about Daniel’s mating habits.

“Charles had a thought.” Alex supplied and Max nodded. That was a realistic worry.

“You said he was feeling poorly, is he better?” Alex nodded towards Daniel who was finally still, but staring off into the trees just outside the track.

“It's a little more complicated. But his mom and sister are here. It’ll be fine.” Max quickly assured them.

“It was bad enough that they came all the way over here?” Charles was worried.

“It's fine.” Max replied.

“Does his family have powers too?” Lando asked curiously.

“His sister does. She can like see the future almost? And I think mind reading. Don’t stare into her eyes.”

Daniel parked by them and stumbled out of his kart, he tugged off his helmet with a smile. “Can we get ice cream?”

“Ooh! I want a milkshake!” Lando called out. And that's how they ended up at a small ice cream shop by the beach.

Daniel happily licked the ice cream off of his spoon, it was a yummy decadent brownie cookie dough flavour that Max tried to talk him out of but Daniel wanted it anyway. It didn’t matter if his tummy hurt or his sinuses got inflamed. It was making him feel good. He’d had a horrible few days.

The silence in his head had finally disappeared when they were karting. It was back again and still so very disconcerting. He spent a lot of time trying to think so that his thoughts took up the empty space but he didn’t have enough thoughts. Couldn’t think of enough things that would distract him. Music helped, but the staticky noise playlists were the most consistent. Michelle told him he was zoning out a lot, but he was just trying to fill his head. He couldn’t do that and other things at the same time yet.

He was concentrating again when Charles came up to him. “You’re really quiet today, are you still feeling sick?” He asked with concern. Daniel looked at him in confusion before he remembered what Max had told him. He didn’t really want to lie.

“I’ll be ok.” He said instead. “I’m just like concentrating really hard.”

It was Charles’ turn to look confused before his furrowed eyebrows relaxed in understanding. “Is it really loud today? Everybody’s been coming back I bet it's been a bit overwhelming?”

Daniel looked at Charles’ concerned face, appreciating how much he cared about how Daniel was feeling. He couldn’t lie to him, not if this was going to be a permanent thing. Daniel looked down at his ice cream, watching it melt around his spoon and hearing the undertone of silence in his ears.

“It's quiet actually.” Daniel muttered. He looked at Charles again with a sad smile, Charles’ eyebrows furrowed. “I can’t hear anyone anymore. My powers are gone.”

“What?!” Charles whisper-shouted. He searched Daniel’s face to see if he was making a joke, pulling a prank. “What happened? Are you ok? Does Max know?'' He asked quickly, unsure what was going on but wanting to help either way. He looked around to see Max still maxplaining to Alex and Lando who were listening attentively. Charles stepped closer to Daniel as if to shield him from everyone.

“Yeah, Max knows. My mom and sister are here. The three of them are like helping me… acclimatize I guess.”

Charles pulled Daniel into a long, tight hug. He mumbled reassurances in Daniel’s hair. They would take care of him no matter what, they would help him however he needed it. Charles didn’t know if there was a cure, if it was an actual sickness or whatever the circumstances were, but he knew he was going to try and help.

Daniel detangled himself from Charles’ hold, sniffling and wiping at teary eyes. He hadn’t expected Charles to be so worried or consoling. He was fully expecting more invasive questions, and maybe jokes about it. He didn’t anticipate breaking down on Charles’ shoulder. He excused himself to the bathroom in the little shop to wash his face.

Charles immediately made a beeline for Max who was looking at him in concern after his eyes had followed Daniel’s movements (of course).

“What happened?” Max asked.

“Can it be fixed?” Charles asked instead, almost frantically. Much to the confusion of Alex and Lando.

“I– he told you?”

“Told him what? What’s happening?” Lando asked quickly. Max sighed.

“His magic is gone and he’s really really sad.” Charles whisper-shouted. Lando and Alex reacted as if Charles had slapped them.

“How is that possible?” Alex murmured.

“Look, we’re dealing with it ok. Just…don’t treat him any differently.” Max tried to calm everyone down.

“Well duh!” Charles complained. Lando and Alex nodded, because of course they wouldn’t.

“But it can be fixed?” Alex asked softly, they watched as Daniel came out of the bathroom and the older lady who ran the shop called him over to chat.

“Yeah, Michelle has a theory.” Max replied just as quietly.

“What is it?” Charles would admit to being nosy. He wanted to know he could possibly help.

“She called it ‘true loves kiss’.” Max muttered after a while, cheeks turning red.

“So someone who loves him has to kiss him?” Lando asked, confused. Alex rolled his eyes and pressed his palm to his face. Charles grinned gleefully while slapping Lando in the back of the head.

“No no Lando, Max gets to kiss him. Because he’s Daniel’s true love.” Charles looked between Max and Daniel like the cat who finally figured out how to get the canary. This was perfect. Finally, his friends would get together and stop dancing around each other, Max would finally man up and get with Daniel and it would all help Daniel get his powers back. At the same time!!!

“How can we help?” Charles was already in wedding planner mode.

“No! You don’t need to help. Just…just let me do this my way– please.” Max glared at Charles before softening his face back to something more neutral. He would give them information so they didn’t ruin his plans. “First of all, he can’t know about it. So shut up please. Second, I already asked him on a date for tomorrow. So we are, of course, doing that. Just…don’t tell him anything. You’ll help him by literally shutting up about it, I think.”

Charles looked a bit put out but also mollified that Max did have something planned. He could wait and see, he drove for Ferrari afterall.

Daniel came back after that and Max put his arm around Daniel’s shoulders and pulled him in close. Daniel went shyly, a small blush on his cheeks.

Next Chapter

#enchanted au #maxiel #max/daniel #disney princess dan #my fic

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no-white-dress · 9 months

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Hunter Deamonne, Heart Of Novocaine

Warning: major spoilers for The Owl House seasons 2 and 3!

You made me tough, you made me numb

You are the maker of what I’ve become

There is no doubt that Hunter, prior to Hunting Palismen (and even after it, arguably), was this tough, young (too young) soldier, numb to everything that casted some shadows over his Emperor's actions. He justifies Belos in any way possible (the Titan's plans must be followed even when they're intricate, it's for the greater good), because it means to absolve himself too.

Belos is the maker of what he's become in so many ways. He literally made him from the bones of his brother, he molded his mind for who knows how many years (it is unclear how long it has been since Hunter's birth), keeping him isolated from anyone even inside the castle. Belos never wanted a brother, he wanted a puppet.

And now I am strong where I was weak

And I am unafraid of being me

But Hunter eventually slipped out of Belos' grip. He challenged Belos' rules. Sure, at first he did so to help him, to prove himself to him. By doing so, though, he did exactly what Belos feared: he became his own person, with passions and connections and his own thoughts, which ultimately didn't align with those of the Emperor. Maybe they aligned with his teachings (don't lie, Hunter, it pains the Titan. Always respect your superiors. Obey), but not with his will. Belos sure never wanted Hunter to get close to Darius, he didn't want the kid close to anyone other than him. He sure didn't want Hunter to end up in the human realm and discover what actual familial love looks like, how it feels like, that it doesn't have to be earned.

So say hello to the monster that you made

Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the hate

Thank you for the way

That you left me scarred

Thank you for the stain

That you left on my brain

Now because of you

I’ve got a heart of novocaine

A heart of novocaine

Things change so fast. They're really confusing. Suddenly multiple figures are uncomfortable with the way Hunter expresses his respect, which is the way Belos taught him. And yet these figures are just as worthy of respect as he used to be in Hunter's eyes, so why do they not want it? Why does Camila look embarrassed when Hunter kneels before her, why does she ask him to never do it again? Why is Darius so frustrated with him for following orders, when that is what is required of the weakest of soldiers?

There are so many ways his uncle got into Hunter's mind and skin. The way he flinches when someone touches him without proper warning or when he expects a punishment, the way he never asks for help because he should be able to do it on his own, even some of his speech patterns come from Belos.

Once upon a time you had control

And lorded over my poor soul

And I trusted you but now I see

You never knew the real me

Belos used to control everything in Hunter's life. He was suffocating, to the point where Hunter regards the trial on a mountain of his scout training as a fond memory, while Steve regards it as some nightmarish experience. His modus operandi is so ingrained in Hunter that we see in Hunting Palismen and Eclipse Lake that he sees everything as either worthy of being sought and thus earned through trials, or expendable. He uses the palismen as leverage with Luz, he uses Luz as leverage with Amity, and it doesn't feel wrong to him, because it's strategy, just a tool to get him what he wants. Clearly, he's seen this same game play out countless times in the throne room, standing by his uncle's side.

All that comes to an end, though. A visit to his uncle's mindscape reveals that not only his motives aren't the ones he flaunts, not only has he lied for ages about his identity and goal: he also lied about Hunter, about their family, about his goals for him. Hunter is a tool to Belos, or a replacement of someone else as best. But just like he failed to understand Caleb, Belos fails to understand Hunter.

To Belos, Caleb was probably the caregiver, the one who was there for him when he got a scraped knee or woke up from a nightmare. But they grew up and Caleb became his own person, because little Philip wasn’t so little anymore and could handle himself. Caleb challenged what they were taught, and found his own morals and beliefs. Philip was never able to do the same, for four hundred years. In fact, he expects Hunter to be just like his older brother, without realizing that Caleb was never the idea he had of him, so Hunter (and all the other grimwalkers) can't help but fail him. Because they will always end up growing into their own person.

Now I’m angry and you wonder why

You see the fire burning In my eyes

Once you had me but you lost me now

And there’s no going back

When he first faces the truth about Belos, Hunter is swarmed by fear. But I believe that, with time, especially in the human realm, he also develops resentment towards Belos. Resentment for being lied to, for being used, for being born even, for being barred from choosing his own path.

Belos may momentarily force himself on Hunter, possess him and even use his very hand to take the life of his first friend, Flapjack, but it's too late. Hunter learned who he is, he likes to be his own person with his own dreams and goals, and that freedom can only end on his own terms.

So say hello to the monster that you made

He knows he's a monster to Belos now. He embodies so many things he hates: witches, wild magic, autonomy, self-affirmation. And those are the things Hunter rubs in his face as he resists Belos' grip on his body and mind, before ending it on his own terms. That speech was his last act in his mind, and he chose to have it be a speech of hopes and dreams for the future and of love and tenderness for the unruly magic Belos despised, because Hunter isn't Belos, and Hunter loves those things and wants those things.

Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the hate

Thank you the way

That you left me scarred

Thank you for the stain

That you left on my brain

Now because of you

I’ve got a heart of novocaine

A heart of novocaine

My fear has died, my tears have dried, I don’t feel afraid and I won’t run away

I believe in me and now I see right through your lies hiding behind your eyes

Because of you I’ll make it through

Nothing can hurt me like you did anymore

Ever since Hollow Mind, Hunter was terrified of the very idea of being in Belos' presence again, and understandably so given his uncle had tried to kill him while he was still in his mindscape. In King's Tide he manages to fight him, but still stays on the sidelines. He talks back to him for probably the first time in his life, but he's still terrified.

At the end of Thanks To Them Hunter isn't afraid, not in the same way. Belos is in his blood, Flapjack is agonizing. It can't really get any worse, can it? Hunter knows what Belos' goals are, so he knows how to disrupt them. He knows how to keep his friends safe. And he does.

Thank you for the pain

Thank you for the hate

Thank you for the way that you

Left me scarred

Now there’s nothing you can say

To wash it all away

Yeah because of you

I’ve got a heart of novocaine

A heart of novocaine

#the owl house #hunter deamonne #halestorm #heart of novocaine #vicious #emperor belos #song analysis #hunter toh

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sir-achimus-prime · 11 months

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It Is What It Is !!

Sans x Reader

Summary:Y/n is a magical human ....in ancient times she'd probably be a healer or priestess of some kind...but it's not then. Sans is her best-friend and ....friend with interesting benefits but , we're off-track. Sans is curious and well ya know what they say *winky face* Curiosity killed the cat ..........

Note : Anyways , this is kinda a random little thing...let me know if ya like it and if ya want more !!

Y/n sighed as she stared at the skeleton , she wasn't aware of his knowledge of the human world and if he knew the significance of her markings.

The skeleton was a friend turned best-friend and was currently tracing her tribal tattoos with an affectionate feeling at his distal phalanges traced the markings along her hip up to her rib cage. As she held her breathe in question glancing up at him…awaiting the truth to stir as he only leaned down and pressed a skeletal against her nose.

She blushed before huffing , her fingers dragging a bit heavier against his coastal cartilage , drawing an interesting noise from the skeleton as she smirked.

Y/n attention was held on hiding her magic majorly throughout every interaction with the monsters that were slowly becoming her friends and family. Today had been close , she'd been mentally chastising the fire monster that allowed her magical abilities to be so strong that she'd nearly been caught by said skeleton

She'd felt she'd done a good enough job distracting him , and she realized it was wrong to lie about something so major …

But , by everything holy….she was scared. She knew how sans in particular would feel about something this huge , and how his friends and family would take it as well. So she continued with the fadacade that humans weren't magical and only held magic in tales…well in part it wasn't wrong but , time would tell how long that would last.

So instead she enjoyed her happiness while she could , because she knew happiness wasn't something that she deserved.

Your probably asking …Well. What exactly would anger Sans so much ?? What had she done that would taint their loving relationship so much…. …..

What hadn't she done ? What had her lineage not done to gain this ability ?

"hey , you okay ?" That stirred Y/n from thoughts to find Sans cupping her face in slight confusion as his smile pinched a bit to much upwards as she smiled faintly "Peachy…just got stuck in my head ..ya know ?" He hummed "So , what are these ? I don't remember your story behind these " she continued absently tracing a few indentions on his bones "Right of passage , I don't really remember getting them it was so long ago…but ….their there" she explained , not truly a lie just not the whole truth as Sans hummed tracing the intricate tribal design.

Her attention flitted instead to his empty gaze "What's wrong , bubs?" Sans was silent for a while as he seemed disturbed "It's a skeleton Cypher combined with an elemental binding spell" she paused at that glancing down , she knew what the words read and what their purpose was as she gasped in surprise "Oh !? Is that bad ? I just choose a cool design from my culture" Sans glanced up questioningly as she tensed in surprise as he pressed a bit of his magic against it questioningly.

The Cypher glowed a deep orange/red as she held back a curse at the pain it inflicted as she grit and bore it.

Sans was experimenting and seemed to have an idea that she knew more than she let on as he observed her reaction….

"I asked Torie and Asgore about them…i was curious , because of the cypher

.." he said sternly ….. she didn't react and watched him curiously

"And they said that humans…certain magical humans…there tribes would use these to show the status amongst Monster Slayers….and ya know i thought to myself….that's weird …my best-friend has a beautiful and intricately designed one" she tensed in pain as white-hot pain flashed through her as she stubbornly refused to use her magic.

As she felt tears stong her eyes as she stared at Sans "And …i doubted them…but you had to say that" he said as his eye-lights poofed away before cried out in pain as bones caged her in. One impaling her hip beside the mark as she panted "Tell me the truth ! Was this all a plot ?! Was this all some kind of cover ?! A cover to get us to trust you ?!!" She gulped in shame as she glanced away from him "What !? NO !! I just wanted some friends and …I'm sorry Sans….i was going to tell you but-......" she trailed off silently at his firm snarl that marred his face"You can't kill me in my own home …. It will alert the others…and i don't want that for you… " she weighed her options "I could explain …but i don't want to …. I know your mad at me , but I'd rather have that then…" she trailed off as Sans chuckled.

"Oh ? So you really are disgusting?! You can't or you won't ? You let me …you let me trust you!! I nearly-" she flinched at that as tears dripped down her cheek "i-Sans ! No , it's not-" she cried out in pain as her soul felt a rough tug as the usually taunt bond was flicked and nearly crumpled as her magic finally flared to life as self-preservation as her soul was protected by the monster that protected and warned her of even bonding like this in the first place.

She gasped deeply as the tattoo burned up "San-" and then she felt it …. The hatred , disgust and horror as her fiery protector shielded her "You stupid stupid human !! I told you !! Skeletons are fickle things , they love but to their convenience…i bet her found the goat lady far more attractive" her elemental laughed as Sans stared wide-eyed.

She was on her ass in a set of battle armor her elemental typically gifted her "Not now , Achi…my literal…." she huffed as she struggled to do much as her soul burned in pain and hurt "Bloodshed ? He hurt our soul and your heart !!! That's an offense I cannot overlook !! I know i was with you since birth, but as your ancestor..this is my duty darling" He called happily as his flames licked at Sans face as he gripped the small skeleton teasingly .

She shook her head "No. C'mon… take me home ?" The flame being queried and giving her a questioning look "You are home" she glared "Fine…fine" he called before they left Sans to his thoughts.

….

#sans x reader #classic sans

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trashlie · 1 year

Text

ILY FP 210, 211, 212

WOOOOOOOF I’ve been holding off on writing this post, because I wanted to wait for this whole “episode” to fully come out. Quimchee revealed they were all meant to happen in one episode, but SO MUCH was happening in the episode that it was too long to do as the one. I... kind of wish I hadn’t waited because now there is SO MUCH for me to cover, so I’m going to do my best to keep this organized and coherent.

No lie, these go up there in my top episodes, especially 212. I have a feeling I might have some different feelings than others on this one...? We’ll see, I’m keen to hear how all of you are thinking and feeling about it. To me, these episodes really encapsulate a good 80% of the plot that we’ve been dealing with, and there’s some good reveals in here that have been a LONG time coming. I think everything is set up now for the time skip to come, and especially after all the events that transpired this arc (remember how this all started out so many moons ago with Nol going to the company Christmas party? That feels like it was years ago to what is happening now!) I am BEYOND excited to see what the time skips have in store for us!

Anyway, before I start spoiling things, let’s get into it!

Well and truly, I love this arc! It’s really capture so much of the story this bigger story has centered on - the relationship between Nol and Kousuke. This isn’t the root of the story, of course, but it’s a significant portion of what we’ve come to read for, I think, and I cannot tell you how much I love seeing the characters verbally acknowledge things they’ve swept under a rug.

212 felt especially raw to me - Kousuke’s confessions are tragic in the way of too little too late, and the realization that Nol was never against him, that he was always on the same side, that they could have been an incredible team may come to haunt him. That acknowledgement of his that nobody really liked him - no one else but the one person he had demeaned and devalued until he was truly nobody - really hit me like a sucker punch. I truly thought these were truths Kousuke wouldn’t be able to reach until he lost more, like his job or his sense of self, but I guess we can argue that he’s lost a lot of his sense of self; from the moment he punched Nol, it’s clear that he’s dissociating. That also serves to tell us how important this moment is for Kousuke, what it means to him, what Nol means to him.

Now, I’ll be upright honest with you guys, because I think this is where the difference of opinions will come in. I really enjoy stories with this kind of element of hatred and care so intricately interlaced in family or friends. There’s something about this sense of care being overwritten by jealousy so scathing it mutates into resentment and hatred and loathing. The way these two feelings battle out, the way ugly emotions are so strong they come to eclipse any hope for warmth. Idk it’s intriguing to me, it creates a compelling story.

And in Kousuke’s case, it is! A running theory has been that Kousuke treats Shinae the way he does because he is, subconsciously, treating her how he wishes he’d treated Nol. As the story went on and Kousuke’s ugliness started to come out more and more and his paranoia began to consume him, I think it was probably difficult for many to find credence in this theory - that there was no way Kousuke could have cared about Nol and transferred it to Shinae when he treated Nol how he did but I’m still here for the theory. It’s just that Kousuke’s ugliness was so strong, overwhelming, it eclipsed anything else.

Now I’m not saying I think Kousuke loves Nol or thinks of him as a brother, but rather I think deep down, he understood they were connected. As a child, Nol was the only person who didn’t treat Kousuke like an object - like a puppet or rich vending machine or influence to be gained. But how could Kousuke allow himself to think so favorably of Nol when he was so deeply rooted in jealousy?

This is what I find especially intriguing about their dynamic. Something I talk about a lot is that Nol and Kousuke are both the products of abuse - Kousuke is the way he is due to neglect and manipulation, and in turn he took that out on Nol. I’ve seen people say Kousuke doesn’t make sense to them, but he DOES and this episode really drove that home and confirmed a lot of things I’d felt.

Kousuke’s treatment of Nol all stems from Rand and his affair. Let’s look at it from Kousuke’s perspective. He has a father who is never around, and when he is he’s busy and always puts his career first. He rarely joins them for family time, there’s a rift between him and his wife. All young Kousuke wants is for his father to spend time with him, to be around, to notice him. His mother tells him things - if he’s a good boy Father will pay attention; if he wants his father’s attention he needs to be just like him; if he wants Father to care to notice he must be exactly like him. But his mother also says other thing - that there’s someone else, money is being wired to someone. At school people murmur similar things.

All he wants is his father’s approval, his father’s pride, his father’s attention, his father’s time. He must not be good enough, yet. He must not matter, yet. He’ll make sure he does, though. He’ll do exactly what his mother says, he’ll buckle down just like she tells him, he’ll make sure to become the perfect son that his father can be proud of.

So you can understand, then, why the discovery that the murmurs are true, that there’s another family, would shatter him the way it did, why it remains a point of breaking for him even as an adult, why he never really reconciles his father’s affair. How is it that the man who has no time for him or their family, had enough time to create a second family? Why was he so undeserving of his time? Why was he so undeserving of his attention?

And it rooted deep inside him, right in the core of his foundation. This other boy who describes his father as someone who couldn’t possibly be the same man as his father - a funny man, a kind man. That is not the father Kousuke knows, so why does this other child know him? (Never mind that this child has also never met that version of his father.) It all stems from that: a craving for something he’s never received.

Kousuke’s whole speech about how there was only one kind, sweet, generous, funny person in his life was the very person he attacked and tore down hit me HARD. His admission of fear, that he ACTUALLY ADMITTED TO BEING SCARED, that he’ll never be good enough for Rand, that nothing he would ever do would make him worthy of his attention actually hurt. This is the kind of thing I’ve been wanting Kousuke to acknowledge and embrace, because it’s the one thing that has been fueling and propelling him. He doesn’t do this job because he’s passionate about it - he does it because he’s still vying for love and attention. He didn’t forsake his childhood because he was above it - he literally sacrificed it for his father. Regardless of what you think about Kousuke now, it has to be acknowledged that he, too, has suffered. And let’s not pretend that Yui truly believed that Kousuke could win Rand’s affection this way - it still feels like it was a game for her, a manipulation to turn him into someone she could use to get her way, a puppet if you will. It’s fucking sad to think that he gave up everything because he was so determined to earn his father’s love, that his love and attention was believed to be so conditional he had to make himself worthy of it.

“I hate you for making me aware this person exists. And I hate your face being a constant reminder of it.”

So many times, Kousuke has berated Nol for his playful, joking behavior, for seeming so lax and carefree. I’d always thought it was jealousy that he didn’t have that kind of life, that he wasn’t allowed it - and that probably is still a part of it - but now we know that when Yeonggi laughed and played around, he was a vision of a version of Rand Kousuke had never known, a spitting image of a man Kousuke didn’t even know could exist.

And as Nol points out, it was all for naught. All of Kousuke’s jealousy and his fear, tearing down Nol so that he could instead get to know that version of Rand. All of it was for naught, because who knows if that man even exists? It seems like only one person ever knew her, and who’s to know if she didn’t make him up. Kousuke has spent his entire life - sacrificed his childhood, accelerated himself through school, forsook any fun or leisure - on a quest for a man who probably doesn’t exist, for something he’ll never achieve. He spent his whole life tearing down someone innocent trying to get to something he’ll never have.

I really thought it would take for Kousuke to lose it all, to stumble in his career before he’d realize it, but here he is.

But on the other side of that, we have Nol. Nol, who also lost - and lost more than Kousuke did. Nol who was isolated and alienated, Nol who tried time and time again to reach out and create a connection, and was refused every time. Nol who suffered under Kousuke and Yui’s watch over and over. Nol, who despite it all, still tried to treat Kousuke well, still tried to give him a chance, still tried to reach out to him at his most desperate.

I think that really illustrates something important: an understanding that there is a reason for Kousuke’s behavior and his paranoia, where it comes from, but that reason doesn’t justify. I can acknowledge both that Kousuke absolutely is the product of his environment and that he has been an asshole about it lol. Idk I can admit that my intrigue in his has grown a LOT.

These episodes have just tapped into something so deep that I love about this series - that our experiences heavily color our interpersonal relationships, as well as our relationships with our own selves. Nol notes that he, too, suffered, he, too, lost, he has been alone and alienated and despite it all he still tried, and he still attempted to be a good person, in contrast to Kousuke who let his suffering turn him into an asshole. It was kind of a hard-to-read moment, because Nol spoke the truth, and as much as I feel for Kousuke, Nol is right. Because he never attempted to deal with those ugly feelings, because he never chose to face them, because he instead wore them as armor, it became his identity, he became an asshole through those experiences. Had there ever been a moment that he could have met Nol in the middle, that he could have put aside his jealousy, that he could have turned off his Rand blinders, he could have seen what Nol was able to see earlier and more clearly. And isn’t that sad? They could have been a great team, they could have had each others’ back in a world where no one else did, they could have been there for each other, but Kousuke couldn’t cross that line.

Again, I fully acknowledge that Kousuke is the way he is because of those experiences. I acknowledge that this is the wake up call he needed, that he was forced to finally reckon with the truth.

But I also worry what will come of Kousuke as a result of Rand’s arrival. Is he going to backpedal? Is this going to short-circuit something and push him to double down, or is it going to free him?

Kousuke has spent his entire life trying to earn Rand’s favor, to earn his attention. Everything he has done has been an angle to get closer to his father. Like, when you break it all down, that’s the sad, basic truth. He was a child who so desperately wanted his father’s attention that his life became about that. And here comes Rand, showing up when it looks like Kousuke is running away. Rand who never had time for him, Rand who didn’t shower him with warmth and affection.

Rand who showed up and wailed “My son” in response to Nol.

That whole scene honestly hurts me. Nol is hurt, Rand is anguished and horrified, and Kousuke? Kousuke finally witnessing his father show a fatherly side - and it wasn’t for him. And not only that but Rand might not even believe that Kousuke was trying to get help, that he attempted to get Nol up but couldn’t. And does it even matter when the truth is that Kousuke DID cause this? I can’t imagine it was his intention - I don’t think his mind went “punch Nol and he’ll fall over the railing” as much as Nol tried to leave and Kousuke reacted on that. But the point still stands: even if it wasn’t his intention, this is still ultimately his fault. Nol goaded him on and played a part, but Kousuke was the hand that acted.

I fear that this will ruin what little relationship Kousuke has with Rand - and it’s a fear because it means Kousuke could swing in two wholly opposite directions. Does he double-down and return to the side of his mother, the only family member who has made him feel like someone’s child? I don’t think he’s at the point where he can extricate himself from the family, as good as it would be. And I worry that if that’s the case, will he double back down on his treatment and resentment of Nol? For this one moment, he saw that they were equals, that they both had a broken, shitty relationship with Rand. And then Rand showed up, showing that paternal side Kousuke has longed for.

As much as I WANT Kousuke to hold on to that moment, I don’t know that he can. I think the cracks have formed and I think his fragile reality is crumbling faster, but I fear he’ll retreat back into the “comfort” of the world he knows.

Here’s the thing about Kousuke: on some level he knows. He knows that Yui isn’t great, he knows that she has done awful things, he knows that Nol did no wrong, he knows that Rand will probably never change. But these are such uncomfortable truths and he has spent his life propped up by a false reality. This was pointed out by AugmentedElle on reddit, but look at the difference in Kousuke’s flashbacks. Look at the memory in 210 vs 212. The flashback in 210 is the strongest, most vibrant memory we’ve yet seen. Ordinarily they’re in some kind of grey scale, or at least muted colors, sometimes with spot color like in Shinae’s. In Nol and Kousuke’s flashbacks thus far, we’ve seen those muted colors or alterations - Nessa’s face appearing scribbled out in Kousuke’s memories, just as in 212. The use of color suggests that the memory in 210 is, quite possibly, fabricated. It starts out with Kousuke dazed, unable to remember what just happened, and Yui comes in and tells him he won’t have to see that boy for a long time. It feels like something happened - that perhaps Kousuke did something (the huffing that parallels his huffing after he punches Nol in the current story) and blocked it out or whited out and Yui came in and gave him an iteration of the story. It’s the strongest memory because it didn’t come from him - because it was filled in and colored in by someone else. The whole time we’ve thought Nol had perhaps been pushed to the bring, that Kousuke instigated a fight and Nol snapped, but maybe it was never Nol. Maybe the whole time Kousuke has associated Nol with danger and violence - because he was wired to think that way. That whatever happened and lead to that moment was so traumatic he doesn’t have the real memory, and instead carries a fabrication.

And that is essentially the basis of Kousuke’s entire life. Regardless of intent, Yui does manipulate Kousuke. She says things knowing full-well the effect they’ll have. Consider that moment with Nol and Nessa vs Yui in Kousuke’s flashback in 212. He watches Nessa blow raspberries on Nol’s cheek, a warm and silly exchange full of so much love and care - and then he looks up at Yui, who wears her maternal mask, shadows falling eerie over her face. Doesn’t it feel so much like she set this up? Doesn’t it feel like she knew Nessa and Nol would be around? She fills his head with things like “the only way to get your father’s attention is to be just like him” and “we’re not like other families we’re so special” and “isn’t it just so wonderful that rand at least has enough time to eat with us”? That’s not vouching for Rand - that’s passive aggression towards Rand and creating an idea of who Rand is - that Rand unwittingly lives up to. Despite speaking of the affair in front Kousuke, she turns and tells him that “Your father values us too much, he would never do such a thing” - a blatant lie that only plays into that feeling Kousuke wears that he’s been cheated, that there exists a version of his father that has been denied to him. Nessa tells Nol that Rand was a kind, sweet, generous, funny man. Yui tells Kousuke that Rand is anything but funny and he has no time for jokes. Maybe both are true, but Nol’s unintentionally makes a point about how Yui speaks of Kousuke’s father, vs how Yui spoke of Nol’s father. Why would a parent speak ill of the other parent -- if not to make the child see them that way.

(She also tells him there’s nothing she hates more than people who don’t take things seriously, and well, look at how Kousuke came out.)

There’s a fragile cognitive dissonance between what Kousuke knows to be true - that is, the reality that has been shaped by his experiences and Yui’s manipulation - vs actual reality, and we’ve seen this a number of times when various events threaten that tentative balance. Kousuke at the club, angry and paranoid, is aware of what people really think of him. Deep down he knows people don’t see him as great, as an honorable gentleman. Deep down he knows he’s a selfish, judgmental asshole, but it doesn’t fit the fabricated reality he believes in, so it only comes out in his paranoia. He knows that Nol is like him, that he didn’t have the love Kousuke coveted, that he tried to get by quietly, but Kousuke’s fear and paranoia still thought of him as the boy who had earned the love that Kousuke couldn’t, and that made him a threat. He knows what kind of person Yui is and has tried to draw boundaries, but he’s still told her things about Nol that she could act on, because he knows what she is capable of. When people or events fracture that reality, he struggles and lashes out, because he needs that reality to keep it together, but it’s crumbling fast.

Between the phone call with Rand and the moment that Rand shows up on the scene - what is the state of Kousuke’s reality? Is it crumbling? Is he trying to stuff the crumbling rocks back into the foundation? Will he retreat to his mother, the only one who can keep the tint of his rose colored glasses or will he be forced to face reality for what it really is? I wish it would be the latter, but I just don’t know if he’s ready for it yet. I don’t know if he can face that which he’s run from this whole time just yet.

As for Nol, woooooooof. What a fucking NIGHT. To think - THIS IS HIS GODDAMN BIRTHDAY. On the one hand, I think, maybe this can give him some kind of peace. He’s finally gotten a piece of Kousuke’s mind, he finally knows how Kousuke sees him, what he thinks of him, and what motivated him all these years. Maybe with this knowledge, Nol will be able to walk away in peace. He doesn’t have to wonder anymore. He knows where he stands - and where he’s always stood - and I think he’s made it clear that he’s drawn his line. He is done, he is finished, with all of them. If Kousuke can find his way to the other side of the line, then good for him, but Nol has no intention of trying to bring him over anymore.

I do think there’s a lot of room for them to reconcile in the future - when Nol’s raw anger has maybe ebbed, when Kousuke has found himself and learned to stand on his own ground, rather than prop himself up by his fabricated reality. But they are far from there. I’ve said before that I had a feeling maybe we’ll see the three main characters reunite in the time skip as adults after having gone separate ways, and that feeling still lingers. Nol has made it clear that he still wants to get away - and frankly I think he needs to. I wish he’d say so much to his friends, I wish he’d tell them where they stand. I feel so bad for Shinae, who went through so much grief and angst and really put herself out there to bring him back, to get her closure - and then when she had it and was ready to let him go, he insisted on staying. For him to turn around and leave like that again, after everything she told him, after the ways she opened up to herself, god that must hurt a lot. I guess on the one hand, she got the closure she wanted but.... it wasn’t even that long ago that Nol was making jabs at Kousuke for abandoning his friends, and there he goes doing it a SECOND time.

There’s a piece I’d love to give more time and thought to - that maybe all along, on a deep, subconscious level, Kousuke feared Nol leaving and that’s why he’s always acted when Nol was on the leave. If Nol leaves he’ll be truly alone. If Nol goes, there is truly no one left who ever liked him, who ever saw any value in him. This post is already long enough, so I’ll try to spit that out later this week, if I can. I think it’s not a coincidence that Kousuke punched Nol as he was leaving, that he didn’t bring himself to do it when Nol promised he’d leave, just as he let Yui know Nol was planning to leave. Maybe he doesn’t recognize it yet, but I think Kousuke is terrified of being left alone and Nol escaping without him.

Like I said, more on that later, but it’s an important point that I think ties in really well with this relationship Kousuke has towards Nol. It’s complicated, fucked up, toxic, and messy, and it needs a LOT of untangling by professional help. But I do think these last episodes really set something up for Nol and Kousuke’s future - as much as there is so much resentment and anger between them, there’s a mutual sense of longing, of needing each other to fill a void: for Nol, he sought out a brother in Kousuke, a companion against the adults in their lives; for Kousuke, that knowledge that Nol, too, had suffered that neglect, and was the only person who had ever truly liked him. I think one day when that anger has died, when they’ve made peace and hopefully worked on themselves, when Kousuke has freed himself, I think there’s a chance they will be able to reconcile. Like I said, maybe they’ll never be family to each other; there’s so much damage there, it’s really possible that can never be undone. But I think at some point, at least, they will see themselves on the same side, rather than each other.

#I Love Yoo #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #ILY Brainrot #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Kousuke Hirahara #Rand #Yui Hirahara #one day I'll replace my Rand tag with his full name but I can never remember it #lol as you can see this is v v heavy on the brothers and their relationship with each other #i want to maybe do a post later where i point out little individual bits i've enjoyed in these episodes or little details that stuck out to #I REALLY want to write more about their dynamic as brothers but woooof we'll see if i wind up finding the time to write everything i want ;A #i just feel SO STRONGLY about this current arc it's EVERYTHING i've been waiting for and i just have so many thoughts that are all over the #place and it's sooooo had to wrangle them into one place!!!!!!!!!#(I think this is why I like when people send asks - it helps me concentrate on one point lol)#Basically I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about the content quimchee is feeding us the insight into Kousuke i have been DESPERATE #for this part of Rand the continued hints to Yui and Kousuke's relationship #and yknow even if you don't like a character (at least for me personally) i can often still find empathy #and man i feel for Kousuke in this one #all these truths he's finally releasing all these fears he's facing and one that literally materializes in front of him????#holy shit that's gotta hurt ouchies for EVERYONE #CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS IS ALL ON NOL'S BIRTHDAY?!#CAN YOU BELIEVE HIS LAST NIGHT BEFORE PRISON HIS FUCKING BIRTHDAY IS GOING DOWN LIKE THIS?!#jesus CHRIST #ILY Commentary

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obiwanobi · 2 years

Note

Clem, I have a feeling that this show is going to rip me apart… I can’t wait, it’s going to be amazing !

So can we have a very soft moment with Anakin and Obi-Wan in a universe where they are happy (canon who?) or maybe SSK/ Jedi but ennemies where we have a vulnerable Obi-Wan (my✨favorite✨) like he has a nightmare or have very bad day and the only thing that keeps him grounded is to trace Anakan’s face’s features with the tip of his fingers and Ani leans into his touch 🥺🥺🥺

I chose to write 2.4k of an AU close in time to the Kenobi series, the slightly-too-early-clone-wars AU, where Order 66 happened when Anakin was 19 and still a padawan who fled the Temple and joined the Rebellion to be found by sad and resigned Obi-Wan 10 years later. Just enough hurt/comfort to handle the Kenobi series!

Sometimes, for a second, Obi-Wan forgets.

It doesn't happen often, but a moment of crossfire, orders given to people who will have to risk their lives in the next second or alerts of an imminent threat, and Obi-Wan is back in the clone wars.

And it almost feels good.

Then, at least, Obi-Wan had the Force to rely on.

At least Obi-Wan had the Order.

At least Obi-Wan had his family.

Obi-Wan shakes his head, focusing on his ship's console and entering his access code to let the Rebel base know he's approaching.

And not to expect the two pilots he left with.

His first Rebel mission, and already two faces he won't see again. His console beeps, authorizing his landing, and Obi-Wan braces for the grim face of Sato, asking for details. To know what to tell the families.

His mission's debriefing lasts longer than he would have wanted. He makes sure his voice stays levelled and neutral. He probably sounds too detached, with his arms crossed and his unwavering voice going through the ambush and the clinical description of his companions falling in front of him.

He can see it in Sato's eyes. His apathy doesn't bother him per se, but it doesn't make him like Obi-Wan more.

Obi-Wan prefers it this way.

The Rebels are good, reliable and trustworthy people, but there is nothing that links them to Obi-Wan. No constant flow of power from one soul to another forming an intricate crisscrossing pattern through the universe. No shared feelings and impressions of elation, sadness and joy, and the certainty of never being truly alone.

A connection is there, certainly, created by shared principles and the conviction that bringing justice and equity to the galaxy is possible.

But the silence in the Force resonates louder than the thousands of Jedi's voices used to.

Focus on the present, he used to tell Anakin. There is a time to reflect on the past, but there is no point in dwelling on it constantly.

Anakin.

Anakin might still be awake.

His steps grow just a bit faster.

In the silence of the hallway —it is the middle of the night after all— the noise of his boots on the floor seems to echo in a disproportionated way.

He only stops in the communal refreshers for a few minutes, taking the fastest sonic shower of his life and diverting his attention elsewhere when his eyes wander towards the mirror, before hurrying towards his quarters.

Disappointment floods him too fast for him to contain when he finds his tiny couch empty, a ratty old blanket haphazardly thrown on it as the only evidence of someone's else presence.

Obi-Wan can feel his shoulders sag, sighing before even thinking about it. The pain in his left arm from a rough kick that he shouldn't have missed seems sharper. The day finally takes its toll on him, and making his way to his bedroom feels like an insurmountable ordeal.

He drags his feet, bones aching in too many places to forget that he's been doing this for too long now. How many years of wars and fights and deaths and losses can a body endure before giving up?

The question runs through his mind while he sits on his untidy bed, getting out of his heavy boots with difficulty, and it's only when he makes to lie down that he realises that he isn't alone.

Anakin has always been a heavy sleeper.

Obi-Wan has found his padawan so many times half-lying on a crate, a bench or Obi-Wan's shoulder, in positions ridiculous enough that it would have reduced his own neck to throbbing pain for days.

Ten years later and the habit hasn't changed; Anakin is sprawled in a tangle of limbs and sheets, hair spread on Obi-Wan's pillow and drooling on his own biceps.

He shouldn't look so boyish, so innocent, now that he's almost in his thirties. But Obi-Wan suspects that he will always keep a certain childish eagerness to his features.

It is the loveliest sight Obi-Wan has ever seen.

It's a strange joy, the one that seizes him every time he sees Anakin.

A confused state of relief, nostalgia, and a bit of sadness too, but so much love that he barely knows what to do with it.

It is as if his mind still can't comprehend that he gets to have this, have Anakin back, that he didn't imagine the past month, finding his padawan after a decade of getting himself used to the idea that he was truly and irrevocably dead. That leaving him behind at the Temple to chase Grievous on Utapau, nineteen and angry and indignant, didn't sign his death warrant.

That the Order might be gone forever, leaving him asking if his home will only live in his memory now, but at least Anakin survived.

Knowing that he is alive would have been enough for him. But having him at his side makes the longing bearable.

Even something as simple as watching him sleep softens his heart and appeases his mind with an easiness that almost worries him sometimes.

"Are you going to spend the night watching me? You're getting creepier in your old age, master," Anakin grumbles, eyes still closed.

Obi-Wan is surprised by his own quiet but fond chuckle.

At the sound, Anakin opens one eye, rubbing the back of his hand over his mouth before smiling contently, as if this was the result he was hoping for.

Obi-Wan lies down, propping himself up on his elbow to face him. "What are you doing in my bed?"

"You took too long to come back. Couch's too small and I was tired."

It isn't the first time Anakin has found his way into Obi-Wan's bed since their reunion.

He jokes about it often, finds flimsy excuses and protests that crossing the hallway that separates their quarters to get to his own bed is an inhuman feat and Obi-Wan would be cruel to ask this of him.

Obi-Wan probably shouldn't let him get away with it so easily.

After all, even if he never finished his training, Anakin was his padawan. And Anakin still calls him his master.

The title doesn't ring the same though. It's lacking the defiance of his teenagehood or the respectful distance the name is supposed to create between them.

It almost sounds like a pet name now.

It's one of the many things that feel like Anakin, his padawan Anakin, just slightly different.

"So needy," Obi-Wan chides teasingly. He masterfully ignores the calculating look Anakin sends him before slowly settling himself closer, bed shifting around them.

"Got years of neediness to catch up on. I'm going to be unbearable, you know that."

Anakin would have been ashamed by his own need, once upon a time. Would have looked away from his master, eyes low and fists hidden under his robe, locking the words he truly wanted to say deep in himself so Obi-Wan would have never been able to extract what he was thinking about and what he desired from him. Being put on display would have been the most terrible of humiliation for him.

These days, Anakin is utterly shameless when expressing what he wants.

"I am resigned to my fate, I suppose," Obi-Wan murmurs, too gentle. Too happy about the prospect of keeping Anakin close for just a bit longer.

Anakin takes the time to nuzzle in his —Obi-Wan's— pillow lazily. His smell will linger here for some time.

His face is completely hidden under the mess of golden brown hair now, and without his eyes on him, the temptation is too strong for Obi-Wan to resist the urge to run his hand through it.

Anakin groans, shoulder visibly relaxing. Obi-Wan pushes his fingers more deeply through his curls, stroking his scalp and letting his hand falls to his nape to run his fingernails against the warm skin there.

Anakin would purr if he could.

It's almost as soothing to him as it is to Obi-Wan.

They have been way more tactile than they used to be, since their reunion. It probably has to do with the weakness of their bond in the Force, a way to compensate for the loss of years spent sharing their thoughts and feelings through such an easy and natural connection.

Anakin turns his head towards Obi-Wan again suddenly. "You look..." He wants to say old. "...Tired. It didn't go well, hm?"

Using the Force... Using the Force isn't easy and natural, not anymore. Not to Obi-Wan. Years on the run have taught him to only rely on the Force as a last resort, and he's afraid that the void it created in him will never be filled again.

But he can still feel it. He can still make the effort to open himself to it, just a bit, just to feel the tentative bond reforming between them. A frail and delicate thread between their signatures, frayed and new at the same time.

Anakin, though, Anakin is still the brightest star in the galaxy, a red-hot intensity burning in the Force with such brilliance that it can never let any part of Obi-Wan in the shadow for too long.

There is no doubt he felt Obi-Wan's lingering sorrow the second he had a foot on the ground.

But it's almost recomforting, to have someone who can feel Obi-Wan, who doesn't need him to say anything to know.

It reminds him of home.

"Can I do anything?" Anakin asks, after Obi-Wan struggles with the simple act of opening his mouth to reply.

It's his sweetness that always renders Obi-Wan too tender. It's his eagerness to help that fills Obi-Wan's tired lungs with hope and comfort.

"This helps," Obi-Wan finally whispers, fingers brushing over his neck, his cheek, his eyes. "You help. I'm glad you're here, Anakin. I—"

He swallows with difficulty.

"I'm glad you're here too." Anakin turns his cheek into his hand, graciously saving Obi-Wan from an embarrassing declaration he wouldn't have been able to put into words anyway. "Being without you, it has been... Difficult. Lonely. I missed you. I miss the Order, the others, even the Council. I almost miss them telling me what to do," he chuckles darkly. "But you... You, I wasn't sure I could live without. I'm not sure I wouldn't have gone completely crazy after a while."

"You did well. More than that, even. You were alright for ten years."

Anakin snorts. "Barely. You can't even imagine the number of times Sato said I was flying like I had a death wish."

Anakin's voice is light and carefree, but his words make Obi-Wan's brows furrow.

"The next mission, we should... We should go together."

It isn't wise for two Jedi to be paired together, Sato has said. They're too valuable, would be too much to lose if they both end up dead.

Or worse, captured by the Empire.

While Obi-Wan has agreed with the logic, it hasn't stopped the selfish part of him to want to protest.

Anakin blinks quickly for a second before his face brightens and Obi-Wan almost turns his head away from such radiance, here and in the Force.

"Yes!" He beams, reaching blindly for Obi-Wan's night tunic and pulling, making Obi-Wan awkwardly aware of how little distance there is between them. "Absolutely! Kriff the others, I've worked here for long enough to get the partner I want! Alright, so tomorrow morning, once I've shaved you, we go to Sato and—"

"Once you've shaved me?" Obi-Wan interrupts.

"Well not completely, but come on, master. We both know a clean and well-trimmed beard suits you way better than whatever has been growing on your face. I thought that you would do something about it already, but clearly..." It's Anakin's turn to run his fingertips along his jaw, stroking the tangle of auburn and grey hair there. Obi-Wan barely catches the flash of mischievousness in his eyes before his beard is being tugged on playfully. "...I need to take matters into my own hands."

Obi-Wan snorts, batting Anakin's hand away.

He hasn't cared about how he looks in so long, hasn't found any interest in his reflection and the lines on his face for years. No need to confirm that the meticulous and proper Jedi master he was is truly gone.

But perhaps, with someone else, with Anakin—

His thoughts get derailed when Anakin's hand comes to touch his face once again, dragging his knuckles against his temple and through his hair, and Obi-Wan can only hold his breath, not daring to do anything that would make Anakin stop.

Anakin speaks as if he's just thinking out loud, the rhythmic movement of his hand lulling Obi-Wan toward a peacefulness he rarely achieves these days. "The hair I like, but we're getting rid of the rest."

We.

Them. Together.

It shouldn't be so easy to let his shield and guard down, shaken to the core by a few casual words.

Obi-Wan barely notices that he's letting his head falls, boneless that he is under Anakin's soothing hand, and it's only when his forehead presses against Anakin's shoulder and his hand closes securely around Anakin's hip that he realises that they unintentionally settled in a tight embrace, curled against each other.

Dread and a strange feeling of shame that he isn't feeling very remorseful fill him when he realises what he's done, and that Anakin's hand has stopped moving.

He shouldn't have done that.

He's ready to pull himself away and apologise, mortified, when he feels Anakin suddenly burying his face in his hair, a noise of approval lost there that sounds like 'definitely keeping the hair'. Only when Anakin's arms close around his shoulders and stay there does Obi-Wan allow himself to relax again.

"So you're my official barber now?" He says, trying to distract his mind from the affection that threatens to overwhelm him.

"Your beard looked like a womprat's nest the last time I left you by yourself," Anakin grumbles, words half-muffled. "Clearly you need me to take care of it for you."

"Oh, clearly."

"Glad we agree."

Obi-Wan smiles against Anakin's warm skin, brushing the incriminating beard against him and squeezing his hip teasingly.

But Anakin only hums gently, already drifting away again. Safe and untroubled.

"I'm glad too," Obi-Wan whispers to himself.

Sometimes, for a second, Obi-Wan forgets.

When Anakin is pressed against him, alive and warm and contented, talking about what they will do together the next day, Obi-Wan lets himself close his eyes and feels like there is still some good in the galaxy.

#and there was only one b-- well no there were multiple beds but anakin said 'nah'#it's going to take obi-wan months to realise that anakin moved into his quarters #(@allthetimeclueless I hope you like it! you're always such a sweetheart and send me amazing prompts 💕)#obikin #fic i did write #I should probably find a tag for this AU now

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ryusaidate · 1 year

Text

i love saito. i love that uchikoshi does not know or care what's wrong with him. i love that everyone else in the game has real life medical issues and his brain issues are just "i don't fucking know he kills people. we're doing a Bit about Love And Family. he's got Murders People disease."

i love whatever's going on in both versions of in the VaiN. and that when someone asked uchikoshi what was with the scene at the end of the hit route with So was he was like "he's fucked up. you know how it is." and that was the full explanation.

everything he does as a-set especially in the arg videos is so so so funny. this man is having the time of his life pretending to be a fucked up and evil teen idol streamer. "this is your idol" "be seeing you. but you won't be seeing me" i will shove him in a locker also i know i already drew it but "this is kaname date he's a real hot piece of twink ass but unfortunately his personality is awful. he lost his memory or something i don't care" is everything to me

love that he's making this incredibly intricate plan to ruin the life of this random fucking guy he CHOSE to bodyswap with on a whim because he... what, he escaped out the window? you really just wanted him to sit there while you killed a guy as rohan, realised the oxytocin release didn't carry over also half your vision is fucked now, swap back, and then kill him so he can't narc? that was Theft Done To Personally Spite You? anyway he's doing all that and he's like "i mean i guess i'll kill my dad while i'm at it" and i love that.

i'm. still thinking about "killed by your own father" why are you pretending to be your own dad shooting yourself in the middle of your last ditch "well whatever plan's fucked may as kill him" moment!! just another one of your "i'm technically not lying teehee" bits?? (and i KNOW the reading that it's about mizuki but that makes even less sense to me. & i'm a 'most cringefail reading possible' truther.) i really do love 'i didn't lie, i kept my promise' just to be a jackass

i love that he's so candid about talking about his murders and says shit like "homicide is my hobby" but when it comes to shooting people he either says some bullshit like "blowing their brains out" or calling them "fireworks" or it's about date "watching them die." the only time he calls it "shooting" is when someone else is doing it. and normally that sort of thing reads as 'distancing yourself from the crimes' but wouldn't that be fucking wild lmao. i think it reads more like it's above just shooting? it's art! perfect, beautiful art of a lonely moment in time.

and all the "(you were) a murderer. a serial killer" "have you been using other men's names for so long that you've forgotten your own" talk feels like it should be leading into a "we're not so different you and i" but it never does. (i'd be tempted to say it's just self restraint on the part of the writing team but i find that VERY hard to believe given the. everything. about every uchi game.) like he hates date but he views himself as above him and he can't pull himself down to date's level, even to upset him. he's just taking hypocritical shots at date because he knows he cares about "justice" and "morality" and garbage like that, without acknowledging their similarities

i'm normal? i'm normal.

#sorry this is 5x longer than i thought it would be i only slept like 20 minutes last night i am lightly deranged #don't read this. all my takes are always correct.#but don't look at me. but i'm right.#i need to know if i'm wrong about any of this to avoid embarrassing myself in the future. but you can't tell me i'm wrong or i'll die.#you know how it is.#i could keep going but i have to stop this was how the dog rant started and i Cannot make another dog rant length post #it's the one literate thing i've ever written and that's fine. i can't start being a guy who has opinions about media.#aitsf spoilers #saito sejima #also if i write anything it has to be with a ridiculous framing device #so i can call it 'the dog rant' and say i wrote 3.5k words about the random dog npc in yongenjaya #it's not funny otherwise. and there's no point if it's not funny.#could i make a dog rant length post about the sejima family without even getting into the sequel?#probably #but oh the mortifying ordeal of having takes #i love bideo gane. thanks for reading. don't read this post. please un-read this post.

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chasingfictions · 2 years

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Ok i haven’t watched btvs in years but i miss spuffy do you have an episode list for all spuffy interactions

dilfjdjfdslkjfdskljfljkdsflkjls .kjfjkdsjklflkjdsflj insane question hi anon . i mean they interact for most of the show but im prepared to go insane here hi .

also if u want simply a compilation of every single spuffy moment ever , youtube user claireice has you covered . would also recommend @smellingwormholes my beloved's spuffy videos . gold standard of content

anyway here are all their episodes n a top moment of mine from each hi . you enabled me for this. we're in a fight. pls know what u've done to me.

2x03 "school hard" 'do we really need weapons for this' INTRICATE RITUALS

2x06 "halloween" -- it's spike being really normal about her 'baby likes to play' . like okay slut <3

2x07 "lie to me" -- my personal calculations show that based on the 1998 flashback in fool for love this is actually when he starts to fall in love with her . my brainworms are very powerful

2x10 "what's my line part 2" -- MUTUAL

2x13 "surprise" - the act of them standing with their respective lovers which will later be turned on its head in the finale . UMM. the REVERSALS.

2x14 "innocence" /made me sick to my stomach seeing you be the slayers lapdog/ lmao that did not age well

2x17 "passion" um. technically in the same room.

2x22 "becoming part 2" TEEHEEEEEE

3x08 "lovers walk" OR SPIKE FOR SOME REASON . pin HIM by the throat onto the kitchen counter

4x03 "harsh light of day" SORT OF A DOUBLE DATE. spuffy is a romcom this episode proves it. theyre serving when harry met sally

4x07 "the initiative" I KNOW A LOT OF GUYS WHO'D LIKE TO GET THEIR HANDS ON HER. @yoursummerfrost voice dru ducks what if the slayer got a giant taser. wouldnt that be fucked up

4x08 "pangs" YOU MADE A BEAR. theyre best friends

4x09 "something blue" . THE BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT .

4x11 "doomed" spike sitting on the armchair behind buffy this counts . spike standing too close to her in the high school . he said proximity he said 14 year old with a crush who doesnt know how to make a move so they r just . Staring n Hovering.

4x12 "a new man" DONT KNOW WHY SHE DIDNT COME . SAY GOODBYE. SHED A FEW TEARS.

4x13 "the i in team" he stands up and stares when she enters the room. victorianism jumping out

4x14 "goodbye iowa" no really buffy . why Is he here.

4x16 "who are you?" spike said hahahaha UNLESS . spike said i hate you that said if u wanted to fuck i am There in One Second No Jokes Please . Please..

4x17 "superstar" . hair touch. ummmm.

4x18 "where the wild things are" . he gets so close 2 saving her life . also spuffy fanfic trope where spuffy are the ones who get the sex ghosts makes this a spuffy episode by proxy .

4x19 "new moon rising" spike said all season HEY NOBODY SEND ME BACK TO THE INITIATIVE CAVES I SWEAR 2 GOD. adam said hey can u go back in with buffy. spike said TEHEEEE . spike said ok i will stand so close to her i will make sure of it. see 14 year old with a crush energy from above.

4x10: "the yoko factor" he spends the whole episode talking about her. inch resting.

4x21 "primeval" tiny interaction but it counts . they Look At Each Other Regard Each Other In The Little Initiative Control Room.

4x22 "restless" xander's dream counts .

5x02 "real me" I WAS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH I KNOW

5x03: "the replacement" . what does he think he's doing with that mannequin before the love reveal. WHAT.

5x04 "out of my mind" IF THAT'S WHAT I WANTED THEN I'D BE DATING SPIKE

5x05 "no place like home" . William.

5x06 "family" . james marsters face in training room teehee.

5x07 "fool for love" spicy Buffalo Wings I'm Feeling Peckish. <3333 ;)))) ;0000

5x08 "shadow" IVE KNOWN SINCE LAST NIGHT

5x09 "listening to fear" @summers-pratt voice . close up of hands confirms movie will turn gay.

5x10 "into the woods" they walk together i cant stress it enough. team power.

5x11 "triangle" HELLO BUFFY

5x12 "checkpoint" BE FUNNY IF THEY DID

5x13 "blood ties" buffy said ummmmm would you mind if i just..... confided in you and treated you as a coparent and confidant would you just

5x14 "crush" what else does buffy say about me you sleep during the day is this a date all that's left is you and a dead shell . moment where they look @ drusilla together in the cave. i think Thoughts About It

5x15 "i was made to love you" . hot tight little body pink lighting tongue out

5x17 "forever" . this counts. SHE WAS DECENT. spike loves his mother in law

5x18 "intervention". ON THE MOUTH

5x19 "tough love" me a few months ago voice . so wyd. scenario.

5x20 "spiral" SWORD CATCH. romance high romance.

5x21 "the weight of the world" little shake shake .

5x22 "the gift" oh. ohhhhh, i tried to pick a moment and then i had to lie down

6x01 "bargaining, part i" SHE'LL NEVER BE EXACTLY

6x02 "bargaining, part ii" this also counts.

6x03 "after life" MARRIAGE. they get married here. spuffy marriage plot.

6x04 "flooded" WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FINANCES

6x05 "life serial" . date :)

6x06 "all the way" buffy shows up to ask him on a date :)

6x07 "once more with feeling" UMMMMMM

6x08 "tabula rasa" aYOU WERE THE ONE I LOOOVED . stay away from randy

6x09 "smashed" oh idk i dont think they interact in this one :)

6x10 "wrecked" stay im stuck here sun's out

6x11 "gone" . buffy's a great mum :)

6x12 "doublemeat palace" . i can get money

6x13 "dead things" IF YOU WANT I COULD--

6x14 "older and far away" when she escorts him out of the room :)) he's her date :)

6x15 "as you were" tell me you LOVE ME TELL ME YOU WANT ME. you know what i am youve always known

6x16 "hells bells". this dress is radioactive.

6x17 "normal again" PUT SOME ICE ON THE BACK OF HER NECK. SHE LIKES THAT

6x18 "entropy" . didnt take long did it.

6x19 "seeing red" . in all seriousness we've said everything that needs to be said here elsewhere and i think this episode should never have been made as it was. that said looking at its place in the season n its function in the larger soul arc , i think the conversation leading up to That Scene and also the 'things change if you make em' bit have a lot of Content that is worth chewing over

6x20 "villains" clem crypt moment

6x22 "grave" MAKE ME WHAT I WAS SO BUFFY CAN GET WHAT SHE DESERVES

7x01 "lessons" . face touch.

7x02 "beneath you" WHY DOES A MAN DO WHAT HE MUSNT FOR HER TO BE HERS

7x03 "same time same place". .... you went away youve been gone since....

7x04 "help" STAY HERE AND HELP ME BE QUIET. I THINK IT'S WORSE WHEN IM HERE.

7x05 "selfless" basement scene i will weep

7x06 "him" BAZOOKA WRESTLING

7x07 "conversations with dead people" 'he did love me. i didnt wanna be loved.' UM

7x08 "sleeper" 'i know' UM.

7x09 "never leave me" . I BELIEVE IN YOU SPIKE

7x10 "bring on the night" ummm i just think it's not a COINCIDENCE that when buffy is at her lowest and most ragged and desperate it's when her shadowself confidante boytoy is kidnapped n underground .

7x11 "showtime" . the eye contact . dont talk to me.

7x12 "potential" MOM AND DAD SAID IT'S TIME FOR SLAYER SCHOOL

7x13 "the killer in me" I KNEW IT. GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY.

7x14 "first date" hallway.

7x15 "get it done" . i want the spike that's dangerou.s the spike that tried to kill me when we met.

7x16 "storyteller". when they come into the room together :) "someone has to agree with me. Spike????"

7x17 "lies my parents told me" that's her SPOUSE.

7x18 "dirty girls" . jealous buffy said this is My Vampire.

7x19 "empty places" they said ummmm if u separate me from my lover i will riot.

7x20 "touched" . IVE SEEN YOUR KINDNESS AND YOUR STRENGHT IVE SEEN THE BEST AND THE WORST OF YOU.

7x21 "end of days" . I JUST TOLD YOU IT DID.

7x22 "chosen" hey fellas what if you spent what you assumed to be your last three nights on earth with your soulmate . wht if 'i love you'. what if total shadow self reconcilation. what if fire hands. ummm. FELLAS.

anon i hope youre happy now that youve killed me <3

#if there's one thing im gonna do it's take an ask prompt too thoroughly #ask #truly my ask box. what a Place . we're unhinged today gorlies #also note -- the buffy saying spike's name video on yt includes the seeing red scene #just a heads up!

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victoirey · 2 years

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may i request jealous faetown? or actually faetown reacting to reader being jealous? :D

N.OT JEALOUS, NOT ONE BIT ! —

♡ – notes :: i told you your request would be prioritized , and prioritized it is ! I decided to do the latter , because jealous sweetheart !??! swag !! i. gave up halfway.

♡ – characters :: robaire , jesse , aaron t , aaron z , taeyoung

♡ – disclaimers :: jealousy, insecurities, poorly thought names , I gave up on taeyoungs part , tell me if I need to add more, im sorry taeyoung stans

you know your worth.

you do. you are worth the jewels robaire placed into your hands the day you accepted his feelings , those jewels were as big as your palm - worth as much as the palace he lives in.

so why now must you feel so .. below ? below the people he interacts with, for they were prettier than the jewels embedded into the jeweled lands' trees. and they were beautiful.

you see robaire smile at each & every lady & lord, see him chuckle at the jester's entertainment, and you remain collected. you've a reputation to uphold, both his & yours.

it is when you both retire to your chamber, does he kiss your knuckles suddenly.

"you were jealous, were you not, beloved ?" he asks, looking at you through hooded eyes.

denying won't work, he's a living lie detector.. so you nod, shyly.

he smiles, a kind one, before he kisses your wrist- and then, up your entire left arm. It's then he's face to face with you, his eyes glancing down-- to your lips, of which he places a chaste kiss upon.

" your beauty is not only in your appearance, it is also in your heart aswell. your heart is one of the most beautiful I've seen, and you convey the beauty of your heart through your words, your actions — everything you do, it leaves me entranced. no one will ever be as alluring as you, y/n. "

prince jesse loved diamonds.

it was well known throughout the jeweled lands , most notably the part his family ruled — the diamond plains. for whenever the prince made an appearance , he'd be adorned in the brightest of the jewels – sparkling and shining for all to see, and for all to be envious of. his makeup's made of grinded diamonds and magic, for gods sake – it isn't a secret he holds these treasures close to his heart. they were so much more valuable than any other gem in the diamante palace.

that was ... until you came in. you, his most beloved jewel. his diamond.

so why is he treating this particular diamond as he treats you ? leaving you in the dust like that , so suddenly ?

what is so special about this diamond ? you frown, glaring at the inanimate object like it has eyes to glare back. jesse , polishing the diamond , glances at you and smirks.

" are you jealous over a diamond, my love ? "

" no. "

" do not lie to me , dear. are you ? "

" am I what ? "

" jealous. "

"jealous over what ? "

" do not be difficult, my jewel. are you jealous over the diamond I am polishing right now ? "

your frown grows deeper, as you nod admittedly. his smirk is so much more frustrating now, honestly.

" sooner or later , you will know why I pay so much attention to it , little human of mine. "

you scoff.

♡

this was why ?

jewelry is laid before you, each one unique yet having one thing in common — they were real diamonds.

" do you like them? i made them myself, i personally think they're beautiful - not as beautiful as you are, of course. nothing could ever compare to you and the effect you have on me. "

you look at jesse in awe, and he just smiles.

it is baffling, how he chose you.

several women on their knees for him, and yet he still chose you.

what does he see in you, you wonder - as he converses with one of the beautiful nobles of the summer court. she's a pretty one, platinum blonde hair styled in intricate braids. her tanned skin seems soft, well taken care of - as is every part of her. yet, you can't help but focus entirely on her braided hair, probably the reason aaron noticed her in the first place. her intricate braids- flower petals curling into the small gaps ,

you couldn't help but envy such art.

you can't help but envy her.

aaron t sees that , and he immediately excuses himself ‐ to which you are pleasantly surprised he did so. he walks past every noble lady and lord who tries to approach him, and makes his way to you.

you, his sunray. his sunshine.

you cant help but try to run from him, heels clicking with every step you take, but to no avail - curse faes and their superior speed..he's cornered you, you're his to interrogate, and interrogate he does.

" jealous, sunny ? "

"why would I be jealous ?"

"just admit it - "

"of course I'm jealous."

"don't you worry, darlin' ! I ain't interested in her at all ! not one bit ! you take up my thoughts from the moment the sun rises to the moment the moon sets - everyday and night !"

aaron reassured you, and kept reassuring you, braiding your hair into a style similar to the noble - he wasn't one to style hair, but she had taught him how to braid - and he's thankful his knowledge came to use.

finally, his fingers come to a stop , and he admired his work. then, placing a kiss upon the nape of your neck – he places a handmirror infront of you.

" you were looking at lady columbina's braids, weren't you? personally, I think you suit them better. "

you grin.

aaron zemira's inner circle consisted of the best of the best.

the best because they impressed his majesty, left him smiling proudly at the fact they came from his kingdom, and were under his family's rule.

the inner circle were the rubied mountains' pride.

each person in that circle excelled in some type of craft - swordsmanship, academics, entertainment, magic ... they were experts in those fields. no one compared to them.

not even you, aaron's lover could hope to.

no one will ever compare to mileena beauregard in swordsmanship, for each attack she goes for hits harder than the last - when she thrusts her swords forward , she breaks ground. her soul has lived through the bloodiest wars. you cannot compare to mileena beauregard.

no one will ever compare to priya mangal in academics. she may be still in her youth, and yet she's bested several of the mountains' most well known scholars. her mind is as old as time itself. you cannot compare to priya mangal.

no one will ever compare to altair redd in entertainment. each joke he makes, he sparks laughter through the whole room. the first jester to ever spark laughter amongst the ruling zimera family. you cannot compare to altair redd.

you cannot compare to aaron zimera in magical prowess. aaron himself is one of the most powerful beings in all of the jeweled lands – when he is angered, the sun dulls as thunder strikes. anyone who survives his wrath won't actually survive, they will just be a breathing flesh bag of who they once were. you cannot even fathom comparing to aaron zimera.

♡

you frown , foolish mind - so stupidly thinking of them like that - still.. you cannot say your mind is wrong. compared to them, you are worthless. nothing.

" what plagues your mind so mercilessly, starlight? " a voice interrupts your sulking, a slender and veiny hand placing itself on your cheek.

" ... why do you settle for me ? "

" why do I settle for you ? where did this come from ? "

" I am mortal. I've no magical power, nor will I ever. I do not believe I am beautiful enough to be a trophy spouse. so why do you choose me? do you believe I can change for you? "

his eyes have a newfound anger in them – pupils reducing to slits as a low growl bellows its way out of his mouth. how could anyone ever say that about you, he thinks. why would anyone ever say that about you?

it's when you wrap your arms around him does he loosen up, melting in your embrace - he buries his face into your neck.

" I have never once wished you to change yourself for my benefit, I - " he stumbles. " I have only ever wished for your love in exchange for mine. "

he loves you. he hopes the way his wings engulf you, so snug and tight that his feathers brush against your back is enough to communicate that.

taeyoung, everso inlove with you - treats everyone the same- civility, politeness, charm.. he does... most of the time. now is not one of those times, you see as he so enthusiastically talks to one of the court ladies who return the same exact energy. they talk, and talk and talk, as you are thrown to the side - no one to talk to, no one to cling on.

by the time you retire to your chambers, you are seething. having received background from one of your dear handmaids that the wench your oblivious fairy boyfriend was interacting with? notorious for her beauty and charm, an all out temptress ! unbelievable , how could she try and steal him like that ? you are livid ! absolutely and undoubtedly so !

" little dove, why must you keep me in the dark ? " taeyoung tries to interrupt your sulking session, but you swat his hand away immediately.

" go back to that wench you seemed to fancy, Tae Young !" you cry, being more dramatic about this than you should.

taeyoung sweatdrops, cringing at how you misunderstood the situation entirely – shaking his head, he grabs you by the shoulders and peppers kisses onto your face repeatedly.

" my sweet, sweet, love - she's my cousin. we've not interacted in quite the while, you know? it is why we were so excited to see eachother. although she is known for bagging and breaking boys' hearts – she is legally unable to even try and hit on me. this is not that horrid ' sweet home alabama' you speak of. "

" oh. "

" besides, my everything belongs to you and you only, love ! you need not worry about your heart aching any longer! for when the fae of spring fall in love, they only fall in love once!"

@eunhanology @wondero28 @lost-lonnie

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graylinesspam · 11 months

Text

I've been trading existential dread with my queerplatonic wife for a while now. Because she's dealing with the crazy world of dating as a pretty queer girl in Texas. And I'm somewhere in a pit about my AroAce identity and the fact that I can't live independently from my parents now. (yes I know that's a capatilist ploy but I'm a hyper independent oldest daughter that was supposed to have my life together by know before surprise disability wrecked all of my dreams. So give me a while to mourn please.)

And one of the things she's helped me put into words is about how fucking lonely and useless and pathetic I feel. Because, most people, especially women, my age start to deal with their physical and mental restrictions with the support of a partner. I mean early twenties is peak, "we're both fucked up and afraid but at least we have each other," years.

And being an AroAce person, I don't have that option as readily available. I don't have people who are willing to support me, and spend time with me, and help me figure myself out. Because I'm not trading sex and romantic connection.

I'm in desperate need of human connection. Of a place to live outside my childhood home. Of emotional support. Of someone to listen to me rant at 10 p.m. And hold my hand when I'm scared and encourage me to better myself. To push myself to grow under these near impossible conditions. And I don't have that.

I can't rely on my family. Not because their bad people but because they're similarly isolated and emotionally neglected people that are hanging on by a thread and have been for most of my life. But at least my parents have each other.

I'm starting to get scared that I'll never find that connection. Because I need so much, and I can't offer the basic currency that people my age trade in.

Most of the time I like to think of that as a good thing. I don't need to worry about who I do or don't fall for because it'll never happen. I don't have to worry about 'losing the spark' or falling out of love with someone. Because I won't ever love them in such a flimsy way. I can focus on my try compatibility with my future partners. Our emotional and physical needs. Our preferences. Our boundaries, and similar interests.

But that's optimistic future me who has a job and a car, whose been through therapy, and figured themselvs out, and isn't a burden in a relationship. That's not now me. Now me is not someone I would ever consider dating and asking anyone else to date me feels so unfair. Like I'm taking advantage of them. Like I don't have enough to offer in return. (again hyper independence.)

And part of me wants so badly to just going to give in and take the first offer. To just say the right things and put out and pretend like I can connect with someone in a way I so clearly cannot.

I know in the future I will have so much to offer if I can just make it there. But that feels impossible to do on my own. And quite frankly I just don't have anyone.

But it isn't fair to myself or to anyone else for me to knowingly lie to them to receive the support I need. And I couldn't mentally handle it even if I tried.

It's just so hard to build relationships with other people when you don't have that foundation of attraction that everyone seems to think is so intricate to human connection.

I want a relationship built on respect and meeting each others needs. And communication and support. I want to be adult and mature about this. But the truth of the matter is that I am young and alone and lost. And I need help. I don't have hardly anything to offer and need so much.

And I don't know how I'm ever going to get to the point that I can offer anyone anything if I don't get my needs met.

So I'm spinning my wheels in fucking predatory right now.

And I'm trying to be so proud of my identity this June. But sometimes it's hard.

As much time as I spend advocating to baby aces that it will get better and you absolutely don't need to ignore it or pretend. That people will understand. That you will find that connection you need. Sometimes it's so fucking hard to remember that for myself. I'm not over the struggle yet. And frankly, I'm scared all the time.

It's just the way that identity has intersected with all the other parts of my life in the most inconvenient way possible. I'm fucking poor, too autistic to drive, chronically fatigued with serious joint issues, and fucking alone. Everything sucks right now.

#June #pride month #lgbt community #aroace #asexual #aromantic #Triple A in the queer way #Agender #Its fucking hard sometimes #And i'm trying to remind myself that the struggle is worth it #The struggle is how you grow #But it doesnt feel like i'm growing #It feels like i'm falling apart #And i'm fuckng crying in the middle of pride month #Please dont read this and get scared away from being ace #It doesnt suck all the time #I'm just going through it right now

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asmutwriter · 2 years

Text

Welcome to the Freak Show (Part 15)

I’m not sure how many parts I have left of this story but once I’ve finished it I will take all the parts and out them into one post but honestly I have no idea when that will be because ya girl wants to write a long story apparently. Some parts will be longer and others shorter depending on when I think the best cliffhanger is

Eddie x Reader

WORD COUNT: 2314

From beginning / Previous / Next / Master List

WARNINGS: swearing, pet names, smut, unprotected sex, fingering, oral (f receiving), face sitting, soft dom Eddie, sub reader, hickeys, slight masochism, praise

DISCLAIMERS

- This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

It was Wednesday. You sat with him on your bench, helping him with chemistry. “I could just give up”

“No that’s not an option”

“Please?” you shake your head

“Come on. You have three more pages left and then we can stop”

“But it’s so boring”

“Come on! You said it yourself, ‘86 is your year of graduation. It can’t be your year if you start slacking off revision” he rolls his eyes at you as you nudge his shoulder. He reads through the next few pages with you. You quizzing him on them and the previous pages you’ve read.

“How about we meet up again sometime this holiday and you quiz me some more?” you nod, taking his hand in yours and smiling at him

“I can’t do over the holidays as I’m going to Canada to see my family for Christmas. I can do this weekend though?” he nods and smiles at you “I hoped we would see each other around that time as I bought you a present and I’ve had it for about a month now” he chuckles

“Ooh very exciting! I hope you’ve not over spent on me” you shake your head

“I only saw it and thought you like it” you let go of his hand “Come on, revision” he lets out an annoyed groan as you chuckle

He comes over to yours. Its a few days before Christmas so you decide to watch Gremlins, given that neither of you had watched it before and it was described as being a Christmas film. He lies on the sofa, your body between his legs as you lie on top of him. Your chest against his as his hands gently run up your back. The film finishes and you tilt your head up, the boy below you watching the screen intensely before he makes eye contact with you. You smile at him “stay here” you say as you sit up. Leaning over to the coffee table and opening the little drawer under it you pull out a box. Handing it to him as you smile “I saw it and I know you like your jewellery so I hope you like it” he opens the box. A ring inside it. An off gold rust colour, slight decoration and intricate design either side of a dark stone. He takes it out, fingers gently feeling over the metal.

“It’s wonderful” you smile at him as he takes your hand and kisses the back of it “Thank you my beautiful queen” he kisses you as you smile more, him pulling you back down to lie on top of him “I Eddie the Freak do take this ring as a small token of affection from you, queen Liz. I will think of you every time I look at it” he says as he places it on the ring finger on his right hand. He smiles as he takes your hand, gently kissing the back of it

“I got you a gift as well”

“Oh yeah?” he nods and smiles at you, booping your nose before gently moving you off of him as he goes over to his bag. He grabs something out and places it behind his back. Grinning at you as he walks over.

“So I know how much you like wearing my jacket whenever we meet up and it gets cold. Then I found this” He pulls out a black leather jacket, handing it to you as your eyes look over the fabric you gently take it from him, biting your lip slightly as you smile at it. “I thought you might quite like to have one of your own as I know how much you like mine. And now we can be matching”

“I love it, thank you!” your hands gently stroking over the jacket as he smiles as he watches your happy face. He kisses your cheek, the sudden affection making you turn to look at him and smile slightly.

“Hmm?” you query

“You’re cute when you smile” you blush slightly at his words before he changes the subject “What film are we watching now?”

“I don’t know” he goes over to the pile of videos you have.

“Have you ever watched Psycho or do you just own it?”

“I just own it. I got too scared to watch it on my own” he chuckles as he places the film into the player, coming back over to you and lying down he pats his chest again. You raise an eyebrow at him slightly

“I know how scared you get when we watch horror so I’m just skipping the part where you slowly hide in my chest" you laugh “Come here sweetheart” you smile and lie on his chest. You both watch the film, your hand holding his tightly as you half cover your face when the scary parts come on. His other hand resting on your lower back as you watch together. The film finishes and you let out a deep breath

“Well that was terrifying” he chuckles slightly. You move your head to look at him and smile. His eyes meet yours and he puts his arms around you. Moving so he can sit up slightly with you still on him. Your legs bending under you as you end up straddling his lap

He starts placing kisses along your neck. Your hands go to his hair, stroking through his long curls. He sits up properly, one arm wrapped around your frame as the other helps hold him up into a sitting position. He carries on kissing your neck then your collarbones. His hand moves from your body, leaning back onto his palms as his eyes trace over you. You smile at him, reaching down and taking the bottom of your shirt, lifting it over your head and throwing it onto the floor. You put your hands behind your back and undo your bra, tossing it next to your shirt. He smiles as his hand comes up and start massaging your boob. Pinching the nipple slightly as you let out a small moan. He bends down, nibbling the flesh of you breasts as he continues to play with your nipples. Your hands bringing his head closer to you. You move one if your hands from the back of his head down, resting on his crotch and starting to rub him slowly through his trousers. He moves away from your chest, smiling at you

“Stand up” you do. He undoes your trousers, letting them fall to the floor as you step out of them and kick them to the side. He smiles, gently parting your legs with his hand as he runs a finger along your clothed heat. He slowly brings your pants down. Chucking them on the floor as quickly removes his shirt as well, going to rub your clit with his thumb. You feel him easily push a finger into your soaked hole. “God I’ve not even touched you and you’re already soaked”. You let out a moan as he curls his fingers across your g-spot. Your hands go to his shoulders to help keep you balanced, spreading your legs apart more as he rubs your clit with his thumb and slowly works his finger in you. He pushes another finger into you. Then he leans forward, his tongue coming out and licking your clit.

“Oh fuck” you rut your hips against his fingers and tongue as he lets out a low laugh, the breath hitting your sensitive parts. He looks up at you, gently kissing your pubic bone as he speaks to you

“Do you trust me?” you nod “Do you want to fuck yourself on my tongue?” you nod again as he smiles. He removes his fingers from you, causing you to whine out. He grabs a cushion and places it on the sofa, lying down and resting his head on it. He gently takes your hips, pulling you and moving so yours legs sit either side of his face. He lowers you down, kissing your thigh as you look down at him. He can see you hesitate so he begins kissing your thighs “Its ok. Trust me. You’ll feel so good” You know he’s smiling at you as he kisses your thighs because you can see it in his eyes. He then kisses your clit, sucking onto it harshly as you moan out. Pushing your hips into him more. He puts his tongue out, gently licking your sensitive nub. He leaves it out, hands going to your hips as he gently rocks them back and forth. You find a good rhythm and start moving yourself

“Fucking sh-shit” Your hands go to his that stay resting on your hips. Trying desperately to keep you thighs open. Hips moving against his face. One of his hands moves from your hip, gently pushing into you so he can finger you as he eats you out. “E-Eddie” you moan out. Thighs squeezing together, the sounds coming from below you was sinful as he goes to town on you. You feel yourself getting closer and closer with each curl of his finger and movement from his tongue. “Gonna cum... Eddie... Please?” he smiles, letting out a moan of approval. One that sends shivers through your whole body. You push yourself down onto him as your orgasm hits you. One hand gripping onto his and your nails digging into them slightly, the other grips onto his hair so tightly. You hear him let out a moan as you ride your high out. He helps you ride it out before pulling his fingers out of you. Drawing small circles on your thighs as you come down, gently moving you off of him as he sits you next to him on the sofa. He sits up next to you, wiping his mouth as he smiles at you. You place a hand on his thigh, gently squeezing it as you move his hair and start kissing his neck. You kiss, nibble and suck the skin. Hearing him moan into your ear as you move our hand from his thigh to rub him through his jeans. You smile as you see hickeys start to appear on his neck. Kissing each one before moving onto another one. You manage to undo his trousers with one hand, head resting in the crook of his neck as you look down and help his cock out of his confinements. You bite your lip as you see it. Hand going around it as he lets out a shaky sigh. He turns his head to kiss you as you slowly rub him. Feeling his hands go to your thighs as he pulls you onto his lap. He takes his dick out of your hand, gently teasing your clit with it as you moan at him and furrow your eyebrows. He lines himself up with your entrance as he slowly lowers you onto him. You grip his shoulders

“Fuck. I’ll never get over how good you feel” he says as he kisses you. He holds your hips, feeling him position his legs underneath you so he can start thrusting up into you. You moan out, feeling one of his hands move from your hip to your clit as he continues to pound into you. You lean forward into him, holding tightly onto his body and moaning into him as continues attacking your sensitive pussy.

“Eddie, go-gonna…” he kisses your head

“Hold it for a little longer...” he tries to reach his high quicker, going harsher into you as you concentrate on trying not to cum before he allows you too.

“Please... can’t... much longer...” you moan out, squeezing your eyes shut as you hide your head into his shoulder. He lets out a half moan half grunt before he speaks

“You can cum for me” you let out a long groan as you let your orgasm hit you. Tightening around him as you feel him pump a few more times into you before pushing all the way in and releasing himself inside of you. You let out a satisfied moan as you rest your head on his shoulder. His arm gently massaging your hips. Noticing small bruises appearing on them from where he was gripping you so tightly. Once he’s come down from his high he turns your head, a hand resting on your cheek as he kisses you slowly. Gently rubbing your cheekbone with his thumb. You wrap your arms around him as he places several kisses on your face “you’re such a good girl for me” he says with a smile as you nod, head resting against him as you shut your eyes.

He gently strokes your back as you both sit like that for a while. You feel him start to get soft inside of you but neither of you move. Enjoying this moment too much. “So umm there’s a small concert happening in this like abandoned warehouse place in a month. Mid-January I think on a Saturday night. I wondered if you like to join me and go?”

“I’ve never seen a live band before”

“Really? Oh well you have to go then! You’re missing out” you chuckle slightly as you nod

“Sounds like a good plan. Just tell me when and where and I’ll see if I have the night and next day off of work” he nods

“When do you go see your family?”

“I go in two days”

“Oh so a couple of days before Christmas” you nod

“Then I’ll be back on the 6th I believe and we can meet up then. I’ll ring you and let you knew when I’m home” he nods and hugs you closer “Are you ok?” you ask and he nods

“Just, I’m going to miss our weekly chats” you nod and curl into his chest more

“So will I”