hey, y'all, uh sorry for my absence but i was so damn busy with uni im sorry T_T i had completed a request i received a long time ago but i accidentally deleted the message, fortunately i copied n pasted the request above the ff itself, so for whoever asked it to me, im so sorryyy and i hope the ff arrives to you Q-Q enjoyyy

Request: Hi! May I ask for Arthur Fleck x gn (*gender neutral) reader where the reader has green eyes and how would he react? Thank you!

You were standing right in front of a vast apartment block completely dumbfounded, you couldn’t believe such a majestic building could erect in a trashcan of a city like Gotham. Indeed, the poor lifestyle was mirrored by the appearance of what would become your new home: broken windows, a neglected shared yard full of trash bags, roaches and sewer rats, and the paint outside grayed or even consumed in some spots. 

You made a face at the view, but it was all you could afford at the moment: you would have surely moved as soon as you would have found a job with a good salary. However, the luggage you were holding reminded you that you weren’t living somewhere better than this. You could almost dare to say your new home would be a mansion if compared to your parents’ house; even the rudest flatmate would be nicer than the ones who were supposed to love and support you no matter what, but that instead kicked you out, not even letting you collect all of your stuff. ‘Just your clothes’, they said, ‘and then get the fuck out.’. 

Their words were carved in your memory and will probably be forever, you took a deep breath to hold back tears. 

You were so deep in your thoughts that you didn’t hear the taxi driver behind you, until he honked, startling you. You turned to him, he was visibly pissed, angrily smoking his cigarette butt and then throwing it at your feet, not even putting it out. 

“Ya deaf, pal?! I fuckin’ said it’s 50 bucks! Ya gon’ pay me or not?”, he shouted at you, sticking his hand full of rings out towards you, expecting his money on his callous palm. You turned pale at how angry he was and quickly pulled out your wallet to give him his money. 

Your anxiety turned into full panic when you saw your wallet was completely empty. Fuck. You were sure your brat of a little brother stole all your money, oh how you wish you were still at your home to strangle him. 

“So?”, the taxi driver insisted, pressing on the accelerator to increase the price according to the taximeter. His judgmental beady eyes were scanning you while you started emptying your backpack, in a desperate attempt of finding a single cent in the bottom of it. Nothing, just old stuff, some comic book and clothes. You let out a defeated sigh that made him visibly angrier, and your lips quivered as you opened your mouth to speak the only words he was hoping not to hear. 

“I’m sorry, sir, I don’t…”

You got cut by a bony and shaky hand extending next to you, handing some banknotes at the taxi driver, who smirked and snatched them from it.

“H…Here…”, a thin male voice shyly stuttered before the money had been literally ripped off his hand. The driver filled his thumb with his gross saliva to start counting the bills, and when he was over he just left in a hurry, not saying a word. 

You were at a loss for words due to everything that happened so quickly, but you managed to snap out of your trance and looked at the guy who just saved you from an unpleasant situation. 

You were stunned when you saw the appearance of your saviour: a short and slender man who was still standing next to you, his arm was still extended and his eyes were wide open, staring off into space. He seemed to be in his mid-forties but you weren’t sure.

He flinched when you touched his shoulder, and slowly turned his head towards you. His eyes looked so sweet, but they were now so wide, still in shock at what just happened. 

“Hey…”, you softly called him, trying to calm him down by awkwardly stroking his shoulder. “A-Are you okay? I’m so sorry you had to get through this, really… I’m willing to give you back your money, for sure, sir.”, you kept telling him, your tone was soft to sooth him, and you sketched an embarrassed smile when he looked at you. He first babbled some letters, as if he was starting the engine of his brain to reconnect and formulate a correct sentence, but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. His gaze soon flustered you, making you look away. 

“Well, then… It's been a true pleasure to meet you. Thank you again, sir.”, you politely saluted, grabbing your bags and walking to the entrance of the condo where the landlord was waiting for you. 

As weeks passed by, some threatening letters from your father didn’t manage to break the new cocoon of comfort you built up all for yourself. You were so proud of your job of house decorating that you couldn’t resist but invite some friends over. What an idiot you felt by seeing your fridge was empty, how were you supposed to have guests over with no food in the house? 

You found yourself forced to go emergency grocery shopping the day before their arrival. As you were walking to the grocery store, you had the crippling feeling of being observed, but the thing didn’t scare you too much: lots of people in Gotham were weirdos, or just envious bored fellas who enjoyed watching others to judge them without a reason. When you arrived at the cashier to pay for your stuff, your eyes met a familiar face: the nice nervous man who paid for your taxi! You instinctively smiled and poked his shoulder to catch his attention. When he turned around towards you, his cheeks turned a deep red as you joyfully waved at him. 

“We haven’t talked much since you helped me that day, huh?”, you giggled, holding your bag of groceries as you were walking out of the store, followed by Arthur. He didn’t respond, he was too flustered to speak. You turned to him, tilting your head, your face showed concern. For a moment, you decided to ignore your worry and resumed smiling, extending your hand at him.

“I’m (Y/N), by the way. (Y/N) (L/N). We didn’t manage to introduce each other. It’s a pleasure to know you. We do live in the same condo, right?”, you happily asked, patiently waiting for the man to shake your hand. But he didn’t. 

“I-I’m Arthur, Arthur Fleck… nice to know you too…”, he shyly murmured after a few seconds, trying to avoid eye contact. You worriedly looked at him again.

“Hey… are you okay? Did… did I say something that offended you?”, you asked, trying to approach him, but he stepped back. 

“I have something to confess to you. I, uhm… I followed you… like, stalked you for a while. It’s better you immediately know, I don’t want you to find it out by yourself and get even more scared…”, he admitted, making your face turn pale; that explained your feeling of being observed all the time. 

“... why?”, you just asked, feeling numb. You were confused, that man seemed so kind, silent and polite during condo reunions, you couldn’t believe someone like him could do something like that. But you appreciated his honesty, despite the fact you were definitely creeped out by him. 

“I… just wanted to make sure you were real. And, y’know, not just some… some kind of delusion.”, he bluntly answered, as his face turned even redder. “It’s just that…”, he kept saying, “ … you quite… caught my attention, not gonna lie. You feel like a fresh breeze in this trash-stuffed pit.”. 

His words hit you like a hammer, those were the first kind words someone outside your friends group had told you in weeks. Your eyes filled in tears, but you firstly refused to let them out, giggling. 

“I… I don’t know what to say… Just… Thank you so much, Arthur. I’m glad you’re my neighbor. You’re the kindest man I’ve ever met in a long time.”, you told him, touching his shoulder. Your words made him blush even more, but this time a relaxed and genuinely joyful smile appeared on his thin and scarred lips. 

“Why did you come to live here, though…? You’re so pure and joyful, your kindness doesn’t belong here…”, he asked, blushing a bit. His question upset you more than you wanted to admit.

“... my parents kicked me out because I refused to work for their shitty business. I wanted to escape that narcissistic and toxic environment to start all over again. And for now living here is all I can afford.”, you gloomingly explained. 

He got silent, nodding a bit. His silence made your anxiety grow more than when you announced to your father you had no intention to work for his company. 

Arthur noticed you were observing him, and stopped nodding. “ …what?”, he asked.

“What?? Aren’t you gonna say nothing?!”, you asked back, in full panic.

“What do you expect me to say? (Y/N), if there’s something I learned by living in this world is that insecure people will insult everything outside their range of comprehension. But believe me, it’s not worth your tears until you’re happy. That’s life.”, he just said, taken by a moment of confidence, he felt oddly comfortable by speaking so openly to you, for once he didn’t feel unfitting or out of line, he felt heard and he knew his words could be helpful to someone he cared for that was struggling.

“And, in all honesty, I wouldn’t be taken by surprise by your family situation, yet… by, uh…”, he kept going, struggling a bit to say what he was thinking of, but just by looking at you, he suddenly found the courage. He was feeling good by spilling all that out right now, and wanted that wellness to keep going. 

“Yet by the fact yours are the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen.”, he suddenly blurted out, making you heavily blush. You looked at him, you could see his wave of confidence disappear to make him blush as well, so much he had to pull on the collar of his shirt. 

After some awkward second of silence, you smiled. “Do you mind if we… get back home together?”, you asked. Your proposition took him by surprise this time, making him slowly nod. The two of you walked back to the condo, in complete silence, drowning in fluster, but so happy you had met each other at that moment.

Tags: @darknessisafriend @werewolf-and-go-wild @indieblair @pursuit-of-comedy @ajokeformur-ray @fly-like-a-phoenix @five-miles-over @hebimoonlightwrites @jokerflecker @callmejokerr

Hi your majesty! May I request the brothers reacting to Luke having an anxiety attack because someone compared him to a demon? With a sprinkle of hurt/comfort?

( for context: During Luke's birthday event, Leviathan says "for an angel, you sure are acting demonic right now!" Which in turn causes Luke to go into a state of shock and semi panic. And it's my personal Headcanon that Luke is slightly paranoid about seeming even slightly similar to a demon due to Michaels constant instances that demons are eww. Which is why luke is so admint that demons are evil, because seeming even slightly like one would both dissapoint Michael and make him think he's this evil "monster" despite literally being nothing like that. Sorry for the rambling! )

A/N: This request is amazing Anon (I'm flattered you called me your majesty???) I don't know much about anxiety/panic attacks because I never had any (at least, I don't think so-) but I hope you enjoy nonetheless! PS: I like to think Mammon is extremely protective of Luke, and that will be reflected lmao

Tags: @sufzku

Warnings: Anxiety attack, skull crushing, mentions of cannibalism and torture, heaving, mangled limbs/body -----

Short Story:

Luke kept his head down as he held onto Simeon’s hand, walking back to Purgatory Hall with him. Simeon, on the other hand, was extremely worried for Luke. He was going to ask what was wrong until he saw a paper ball hit the back of Luke’s head. He quickly looks to see who could possibly do it, and it was a lower level envy demon. “Pfft- Oh look, I hit Cute Lil Angel Boy” They pout, before howling with laughter. “Please! You’re just as worse as us demons!” Simeon wanted to say something but he felt Luke tug on his arm. When he looks down, he saw Luke heavily breathing as the small angel felt dizzy and sweaty. He lost his vision and couldn’t hear the avatar of sins ready to beat the shit out of the lower envy demon. Reactions:

Lucifer

He was there just in time to see the whole thing unfold, to the demon making the paper ball, to Luke spiraling into a panic attack.

Even if he made fun of Luke, he still cared for him, and he was an exchange student, so he couldn’t just stand by to let this happen

Lucifer glances at Simeon, to which he nods and leads Luke to a safer place so he can calm him down

The eldest stares daggers into the envy demon before casting a binding spell on the perpetrator

He drags them to the, luckily empty, student council office and begins to.. punish the individual

The scars Lucifer had left were both mental and physical

“Filthy rats should know their place.”

Mammon

Listen..

Luke and Simeon was like his second family, so you can imagine he isn’t too happy about this

He saw Luke spiraling and immediately set out to help him first

Luckily the dude who compared him to a demon was too stunned to speak as Mammon helped Luke get grounded before it got any worse

When he did, Simeon led Luke to a safer area, knowing what was about to happen

Mammon then quietly stood up, shooting sharp ass daggers into the envy demon

The eye daggers was almost as sharp as Mammon’s horns as the avatar of greed charged at him like an angry bull, piercing the dude’s stomach with his horns

He wasn’t just not happy, oh no, he was enraged, a protective rage if you will

Mammon dragged the envy demon to an alley and threw them against a big trashcan so hard it bent.

He left them to rot, checking up on Luke and Simeon to make sure they are okay

“Luke, why don’t we go get some ice cream, yea?”

Leviathan

Funnily enough, he recognized this envy demon as one of his soldiers in the Hells Navy

Feeling like he had power there, and honestly he did, he walks over, only to cause panic in the envy demon as he recognized the grand admiral

He looks at the two angels and the demon, like he was inspecting something with a look of disgust in his eyes

He walks over to Luke with a more gentle look and helps to ground him

Once he did, he tells Simeon and Luke to go back to Purgatory Hall

And once they leave, the envy demon knew they fucked up

It didn’t take long for the envy demon to start heaving out seaweed

They continued to do so until Levi thought it was enough and walked over to their hunched over body

He leaned down, Levi looked dead serious as they stare at each other.

“Do that again, and your punishment will be much, much worse, understood?”

Satan

When he sees this, he goes straight to grounding Luke, like most of his brothers, unluckily for the demon, they took this as a sign to book it

When that’s done with, Simeon and Luke leave to a more safe spot

The security the envy demon felt was short lasted as Satan went straight to knocking the dude down with his tail and crushing his skull with his foot

The cries didn’t stop him, it was the dead silence proving they were dead that made him stop

He rolls his eyes and kicks the body a few times before going to check on Luke

“Are you alright now, Luke?”

Asmodeus

Ooh boy, this ‘bout to get dark fast

When he sees this, he feels disgust and pity

Before going to Luke, he taps the individual on the shoulder with a sickly sweet smile before jabbing his venomous tail to the dudes stomach before casting a silencing spell on him

He goes to the two angels to try and help the smaller one ground back to reality, luckily, he learned a thing or two from Satan, as well as his own encouraging words, which helped him

When that’s done and dealt with,and the two are long gone, he goes to the dude and kicks them to the ground, injecting them with more venom

He laughs when he crushes their skull, like it was some sort of sick joke

Asmo leans down and grabs their mangled face, squishing their cheeks as if they were a child, before harshly dropping the face and crushing on it some more

Be it a lesson to all those who try to bully his cute little chihuahua friend

“Awww, aren’t you the cutest~? Too bad that I have to crush your skull..~”

Beelzebub

Protective rage part 2

Sees Luke violently shaking and the demon laughing their ass off

It didn’t take long to put two and two together

He walks over to the demon and their laughing died down as his shadow crept over them

Before the demon could plead any apology, Beel picked him up with ease and threw him against the wall

Luckily the two angels left before Beel did anything too bad

And that part was.. eating the dudes limbs

Yea.. safe to say any witnesses would definitely not be messing with the angels

“Bleh- Not even tasty..”

Belphegor

He was lazing around when he saw it

Belphie groans and mumbles about how much of a nuisance lower level demons are

He wasn’t going even attempt at comforting Luke, instead, he goes to the person, gave them his most deadly glare

“You’re going to regret that.”

The demon laughed and brushed it off, but the way he said it was certainly threatening enough for him to worry

And you know what? A few minutes later, while the dude was napping in the safety of him home, Belphie infested his dreams and turned them into nightmares so real that the dude was afraid to even sleep

The next day, he was amused to see that the person looked ready to pass out, but couldn’t for the fear that those nightmares would come back.

He simply asked Beel to take care of them after that, not having the energy to do it himself.

“Pfft- I haven’t had this much fun for a while.”

Short Aftermath (ft. Mammon, Luke and Simeon):

“.Thanks for taking me out for ice cream..”

Mammon snorts a bit at Luke’s thanks. He simply shrugs and ruffles his hair. “Don’t mention it, kid.” The small angel huffs at the nickname, but it was at least tolerable when it came to Mammon. “I’m sorry you got caught up in this, Mammon” Simeon sighs. “Eh it’s fine” He looks ahead.

He knew how much Luke trusted, looked up and followed Michael; while he didn’t think he deserved that trust Luke has in him, he wasn’t going to destroy his views at such a young age. He knew that all they preached, all they believed in were that demons were filthy creatures, and that wasn’t all true.

He just hoped Luke would recognize that at some point.

Copycat: Origins —(Marvel Fem!Oc)

A/N: I’ll be honest guys i think I wrote a pretty good marvel movie if ya know what I mean -Danny

Words: 1,141

Phase Three Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: ‘I'm Gone’ -by Oliver Tree

ii: Seeking Help

The little girl approached the trashcan and threw half of her food in it.

"Hey, you could've given that to me!"

She turned to glare at him with big purple eyes.

"Last time you got sick and they put us away."

"I ate fast, but I won't do it now!" He whined.

Mimic shrugged. "If you want jump in and take it."

"Er... I'm not that hungry."

She turned away. "Hurry up. I don't want to fight the big guy, he steps on me all the time."

"You're always trying to blind me when I train with you!"

"It's for your own good."

"Rude!" He started to chase her, the little girl giggled as she ran away.

She only packed the essentials. Rocket opened her door without knocking, even though the lock was digital.

"Ya busy?"

"What do you want?" She asked, half of her body diving inside the closet.

"I've been hearing noises since you came back and you're acting pretty crazy..."

"You've been hearing noises from all the way across the compound?"

"I have good ears."

She stopped what she was doing to push herself out and stare at the creature.

"What do you want?" Cat insisted.

He gave her a funny look, shrugging lightly.

"I just wanted to ask if you were..." He raised his voice to sound confident. "Forget it, it's a dumb question. You're running away—"

"I'm not running away," She glanced at the several pieces of clothing shoved inside her backpack. "Okay, I'm running away. Don't tell Nat you saw me."

"You sound scared," He continued. "I'm not the best role model out here, but if you need help..."

"No. I mean— I do, but I have to go somewhere else to get it. No one can know I've been here."

Rocket squinted, his voice sounded ominous. "Someone's looking for you, Skrully?"

"Please, I'll take care of this alone. I don't want any of you to die, I don't wanna lose more of you."

The raccoon mumbled something, he looked uncomfortable. Cat knelt in front of him, offering her hand to him tentatively.

"We're friends, aren't we?"

The raccoon didn't grab her hand, he nodded a little.

"I don't know why, but yeah."

"I'll come back."

She grabbed her stuff, Rocket spoke when she walked past him.

"What happens if you don't?" He threw something at her. "Take this."

She caught it and examined it: a square piece of metal.

"A token of appreciation?" Cat smiled. "Something to remember you by?"

"What?" He frowned. "That's a sonic grenade, idiot. Whoever's chasing you can teleport, right? That's how you got that power. It'll rattle their brain long enough for you to put this on them," He showed her a strange collar he'd suddenly pulled out of his satchel.

"A neutralizer," She said in awe. "How'd you get one?"

"You don't need to know."

"Why do you carry it around?"

"Weren't you in a hurry?" He snapped. "Get out of here before I use it on you!"

"Thank you, Rat!"

She patted his head before leaving, Cat didn't know how strong Kurt's teleporting abilities were, but she was hoping they could send her exactly to where she wanted.

She landed in the middle of Pietro's apartment. He was more comfortable staying in his own place than crashing at the compound during the holidays. Besides, that way he could have her over during Christmas and summer vacation, though that year she'd spent her summer at the compound, training and occasionally watching movies with Rocket. Her brother wasn't home at the moment, he was away, studying and living near his college.

Cat threw her bag on the table and moved through the darkness without needing a light. Once in her old room, empty of any kind of object that could've ever indicated a teenage girl had lived there, she took off her watch, placed it on the desk, then lined up the pad she'd stolen from the compound and activated both.

"Rise and shine, my lady," she said. "We'll be pulling an allnighter."

"Hi, C.C.—"

"Copycat, Frypan, not C.C."

"Very well. What are you doing tonight?"

"First, we'll apply the 'Blind Justice' protocol to all the information we gather, okay? This is something the others can't know about."

"Alright."

She pulled a chair and sat near the desk.

"Give me Tony Stark's best hideaways."

The list wasn't long, and they were all known places where the Avengers could easily find her. She had to find a foolproof hideout.

"Friday," she said, "do you know something about a grant Tony sent to... what was it..? Harley..?"

"Tony bought workshop equipment and sent it to an address in Rose Hill, Tennesse, eight years ago. It was given to Harley Keener."

"Send me the address, please."

Cat walked out of the room and grabbed her bag, she swung it over her shoulder and accidentally knocked something off. The girl picked it up and saw her friends smiling at her.

The C.C. in the picture had her arms loosely wrapped around Peter, next to them Ned was smiling from ear to ear, and on C.C.'s right side, MJ was giving her bunny ears. Pietro was front and center, he was making a funny face and appeared slightly blurry cause he'd leapt in at the last second.

She stared at the photograph for a long minute, lost in the memory of Pietro's graduation...

"Incoming call: Speedy Maximoff..."

She went back to the room and answered.

"Hey!" Cat tried to sound cheerful. "How's your week going?"

"Just came back from lacrosse practice," He yawned. "Wanted to check on you... All good?"

"Yeah, Rocket and I watched some movies— I didn't train today cause Nat had a meeting, I think she's looking for Barton... what about you, still in love with school?"

"Hundred per cent," He replied. "I miss you, though. Can I see you next week?"

"No," She replied, clearing her throat. "I— er... I don't want you to neglect your schoolwork in the middle of the semester! Maybe we can get together for my birthday?"

"Sure..." He was sounding a little hesitant now. "Copy?"

"Hmm?"

"Stay out of trouble, 'kay?"

There was something in Pietro's tone of worry that hurt her in ways she couldn't understand. She struggled to keep the lighthearted tone.

"C'mon, you know I hate trouble," She forced a chuckle. "Don't worry."

"Have a good night."

"You too."

Cat ended the call. She covered her face with both hands, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry..."

The girl growled, kicking the chair where she'd previously been sitting.

"Friday, deactivate my tracker. Block the signal and erase my search history. Encrypt all of the data I've downloaded from S.H.I.E.L.D."

"If you block the signal I won't be able to reach you unless you turn me on manually."

She wrote down the address that F.R.I.D.A.Y had sent to her. "I don't want anyone following me."

"Tracker deactivating. Blocking signal in three... two..."

Her watch turned off, and so did the pad she'd brought with her. The girl took a deep breath and walked out of her room, tightly holding onto the strap of her bag.

"I'll see you later, Pi," Cat whispered at the picture on the coffee table. "I hope."

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

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You've been dying since the day you were born

You know it's all been planned

The quartet of deliverance rides

A sinner once a sinner twice

No need for confession now

'Cause now you have got the fight of your life

I drew this inspired by this post. Posting it here as well so it can reach some other people ;-;

So based on jjk, can you write a one-shot featuring Yuji and Gojo in an Aladdin AU please? I imagine Yuji as a street rat who finds Gojo the genie. The fix would be about them embracing each other as brothers and getting into shenanigans in Agrabah. What do you think?

▒Free▒

❃Gojo x Yuji [Platonic]

Warnings- some spoilers

Genre- ❃ with bittersweet ending

Characters origin - Jujutsu Kaisen

Theme- Aladdin AU

Characters- Itadori Yuji and Satoru Gojo

Format- One-shot

Word count- 14,743

Masterlist

A/n- This is my first one-shot so I apologise if its not up to your expectations. (^_^!) Thank you for requesting!

Author’s pov

The shopkeeper running in search of the melon thief and a seemingly notorious monkey first thing on a sunny, breezy morning. Quite strange right? Well, not for Agrabah or its people. This is how a usual day starts here. Everyday, some food or daily essentials will disappear in the morning, their owner trying to catch the thief, failing miserably or even when they were able to catch the thief, he would somehow manage to get away by using his slick tongue and coy smile. It’s the usual. Today is no different, shopkeeper running to catch the thief but failing, again. While on the other hand, the young boy finally comes to a stop, catching his breath and plopping beside some trashcan with his monkey.

Yuji’s pov

“That was quite a chase wasn’t it Abu?” I asked my partner in crime Abu (my monkey). Well, you might be wondering who I am so let me give a quick introduction of myself. Myself Yuji, Itadori Yuji. I am a normal 15 year old boy and my life, well you can’t call it normal but I live by it somehow.

Author’s pov

Abu nodded his head as if in agreement while Yuji broke the melon in half sharing it with his partner.

Just as he was about to get a bite out of it, he saw two little kids, probably 4 and 7 years old, probably brother and sister came searching the trashcan in hopes of some food but the big brother shakes his head to his little sister indicating there’s none. While Yuji might be a street rat who steals food in order to keep himself fed and not having abundance of it himself but the scene that unfolded in front of him made him do-

“Here little girl, eat it.” He said while offering his half melon to the little girl.

Little girl looked at him with her big doe eyes for some time but after a few moments taking the half melon from him, saying with the most pure smile adoring her face, “Thank You!”.

Yuji just smiled while Abu, after seeing his master(friend), gingerly gave his already half eaten melon to the boy while doing a, “hmph”. Yuji just laughed, patting Abu’s head.

_____________________________________________

Some time has passed. Abu went on his on somewhere(maybe in search of food, no one knows) while Yuji is now wandering in a non-familier part of the dessert of Agrabah with an empty stomach, in search of something to entertain himself. Night came by pretty quickly while Yuji was still kind of lost in the seemingly never ending dessert. Suddenly, his eyes caught a glimpse of red in a distance, most probably fire. He ran to the source thinking that maybe he can find some assistance from the people living there to go back. As he reached the source,' It looks like a cave or something' He thought to himself.

He went a little closer and peeked to see what's going on. There he saw a strange man, wearing mostly white with a type of hat on his head performing some kind of dark magic. He didn't know what was happening but Yuji was suddenly thrown at a far distance by a blast that he presumed came from the fire.

Yuji sat up coughing,"what the heck was that just now?" He asked to himself.

When he became more aware of his surrounding after the sand settled down, he felt something poking him from where he was sitting.

Yuji changed his position and was now on his knees, kneeling in front of where he was sitting moments ago. He felt the sand in front of him and suddenly jerked his hand back when something sharp came in contact with his skin.

He dug around that spot, suddenly intrigued by what's there.

After a few seconds of digging, there laid a lamp in front of him. He lifted it in his hands examining it, when he saw some dirt on it. ' This lamp is beautiful indeed. I wonder how much will be paid for this if I sell it. Huh? There's dirt on it, I should probably clean it before selling it though. I'll take this back with me I guess.'

And with that he set off to his way back.

It was already mid night when he was finally back. The place where he lived wasn't something extravagant or anything. It was a small and shabby cottage. He yawned, tired from wandering around so much. He placed the lamp on an old wooden desk and jumped on his hammock and off he went into his dream land.

________________

'Wow! So much money, this luxurious house. We don't have to live in that shabby old cottage anymore Abu! We can too now live a life of luxury.'

Suddenly an extremely bright light came and off he went-

*Groan*

"AGh! What the hell is it Abu? Let me be rich in my dreams at least."

There goes his dream down the drain. Abu continued shaking him. Yuji, with a huff of annoyance sat up but his eyes became wide with what he saw.

Yuji's pov

I was woken up from my amazing dream by Abu. Darn it, not again. It was only 2:36 AM.

He continued shaking me so I had no choice but to get up and see why the hell did he wake me up at this hour. But what I saw next made my eyes wide. The lamp that I brought with me just a few hours ago was now glowing a bright blue colour. It was so bright that it illuminated the whole cottage.

I jumped off of the hammock, my feet came in contact with the cold wooden floor as I made my way to the lamp, Abu trailing close behind.

I sat on the chair near the desk and picked up the lamp. I again saw the dirt and it was an eyesore on such a beautiful object so I rubbed the lamp with sleeve of my old t-shirt and all of a sudden, the sandalwood and a earthy scent was in the air as I was brought face to face with-

," The ever impressive, the long contained, often imitated, but never duplicated … Genieee of the lamp!"

Author's pov

"Wh-Wh-who are you?!" Stutter-yelled Yuji, half shocked and half blown away by the sudden appearance of something or in this case.....someone.

" Oh! Hey there you little fella . Well master I guess. Are you the one who called me here? Well you surely are because I don't see anyone else beside you in this room and it certainly can't be that monkey right over there now can it? Hahaha"

He spoke all too fast laughing gingerly at the end. And with the mention of his name, Abu quickly hid behind his master/friend.

"I asked what the hell are you?!" Yuji spoke once again. It was only befitting to ask such question. I mean, how would you react if suddenly, in the middle of the night, an abnormally loud man, with a blue blur mist instead of legs, with an exceptionally handsome face, with white hair and a black blindfold covering his eye, suddenly pops in you house out of nowhere claiming himself to be a 'genie'?

" Oh right! Pardon my rudeness for not introducing myself. Even though you were rude enough to ask me 'what the hell I am' even when I told you I was a genie ANYWAYS

My name is Gojo, Satoru Gojo and I am the genie of the magicallllll llllamph!" The 'Genie' said laughing at the end.

"So you are sayinggg, that you are.......... a genie?" Yuji asked after a long pause while making a perplexed face.

" Bingo Little fella i-i mean master. Agh whatever. SO NOW MY PRESUMABLY MASTER! I will grant you 3 wishes! Whatever you want I can give it to you or make it happen." Gojo the genie said while grinning.

" Can you really do that or are you just messing with me?" Yuji asked with a glint of hope in his light brown irises.

"I can do anything you want, three times BUT Gojo myself

1. would not kill anyone,

2.make anyone fall in love,

OR

3. bring people back from the dead."

Gojo finished with a nod, in his usual loud and fast tone."

"W-well I don't know what to ask from you at the moment Gojo." Yuji said looking up at Satoru.

"Oh calling me by my name are you? Well, if you don't have anything to ask of me at the moment, I'll be going back into the magical lamp. Just rub it again when you figure out what you want to ask for."

" Going back in the lamp?" Yuji repeated.

"The MAGICAL lamp little master. I'll be off then".

*woosh*

There went Gojo the genie back in the lamp but wait, as he was about to fully go in, his head stuck, and he grumbled, "Ten thousand years gives you such a crick in the neck agh! " And he jerked his head once and there he went in the lamp!

"Ten thousand years?" Yuji quietly mumbled to himself. He felt a tug on his bottoms and he saw Abu yawning indicating that they should go to sleep and worry about this later.

" Yeah, you are right. We should probably go to sleep" he said.

Both laid on their hammocks but Yuji was still thinking while looking at the ceiling.

'What if what that 'genie' or Gojo guy said is true? What if he really can change all this? And what did he mean by ten thousand years?'

While thinking all this, he didn't realise when he drifted off.

_____________________________________________

Next morning

Yuji's pov

I woke up the next morning and suddenly last night's events flashed through my mind. Well, even if that 'Gojo the genie' turns out to be a fraud or something, I would atleast give it a try. I have nothing to lose anyways.

Author's pov

That day, in the evening, Yuji took off to a secluded part of the forest with his magical lamp.

When he reached there, he rubbed the lamp and-

*woosh*

"Oh hey there little master! I hope this time you had something in mind when you called me here!"Gojo said.

Yuji just stared for a moment but eventually nodded,"I -I mean if what you said last night was completely true, and that you meant what you said, then-then yes! I do have something in mind about what I want to ask of you." Yuji said choosing his words carefully.

"of course what I said was true young Master! Don't you dare question my-wait a second! Say, you're a lot smaller than my last master. Either that, or I'm getting bigger! Look at me from the side. Do I look different to you?" Genie said while kind of posing in front of Yuji.

"last master?" Yuji asked,"Well yeah.... let's not talk about him though! He was certainly very much of a pain." He mumbled the last part.

"SO! What is your first wish?"

"I wanna be a price!" Yuji said kind of hopefully and all the more doubtfully.

"A price?! ALRIGHT! NO PROBLEM! Your wish is my command!" Then Gojo said some words and-

*BOOM*

Yuji's pov

Suddenly, out of nowhere I was dressed as a prince with a mirror in front of me! Everything I wore spoke luxury. Then suddenly a thought popped in my mind,"Hey Gojo if I am a prince now, does that mean where I used to live would change too? " He said.

" Are you talking about that old shabby place? *Ahem* I-I mean Why yes of course young Master! Let me take you to your new palace!"Gojo said and with a flick of his fingers, a magical carpet appeared. He urged me on the carpet and *oof* 'I AM IN THE AIR!'.

Timeskip

Author's pov

Some time has passed, Yuji is now living a life of luxury with Abu but still haven't thought of his other two wishes. But he could say that Gojo and him got quite close. Yuji often found himself rubbing the lamp whenever he felt alone or wanted to talk to somebody. At first the geine was a bit annoyed but as the time passed by, he became used to it.

It was just another day when Yuji was feeling off. His sleeve brushing against the lamp on accident,"what is it this time Yuji?" Gojo mumbled in a low voice while coming out of the lamp. While they spent more time together Yuji just urged Gojo to call him by his name instead of 'young master' . While in the current situation, Gojo found Yuji staring at the water while his feet dangled in the air, totally being unaware of his presence," you alright Yuji?." Asked the almighty genie. "Oh! When did you get here? I didn't notice." Yuji said with a light chuckle as if trying to hide something,"You do realise I am 'genie the genius' right? So, what are you thinking?". Gojo urged. Yuji heaved a sigh while speaking," it's just-its just about my family. Lame I know but I miss them. They all left me here alone with no one to rely on but myself when I was 5 or something. And sometimes, I think how life would have been if they were still here. And now it's even more hard to not think about it. With how I lived earlier, I didn't get that much time to ponder on such things because I was too busy to survive and now that I have what I wished for without working for it, these thoughts aren't leaving my mind." He finished with another heavy sigh. After a long pause Gojo said,"Well....I am certainly not good with these kind of things but-*suddenly an idea popped up in his head* HOW ABOUT THIS?(Yuji turned to him, suddenly intrigued by his change of tone) You and I will do something you used to. What I mean to say is tomorrow, you can show me how a day in your life was like. Sounds good?", " I am not sure abo-"

"WELL THEN IT'S SETTLED!" Gojo quickly cut him off and *woosh* off he went back in the lamp.

_____________________________________________

Next day

Yuji found himself with the genie hiding close behind him as to not be seen as he strolled in the market, " Hey! How about that bakery shop?!" Gojo whisper-yelled from behind him. Reluctantly complying he said," Alright then. Here goes nothing." And off went Yuji running to the bakery shop with the speed of lightning while Satoru stood there dumbfounded on contemplating what just happened. Yuji yelled after taking a piece of bread from the bakery shop and sprinting the same way he came from just moments ago," COME WITH ME YOU DUMB GENIE OR DO LIKE BEING A TRENDING TOPIC IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MARKET SO MUCH!?" Gojo was finally awakened from his dumbstruck state after hearing Yuji yell and he too then took off behind him as Yuji call it ' making a run for it'. Many people, after seeing this commotion being unfolded in front of them tried to catch Yuji whilst he just dodged all of them doing it how he used to while on the other hand, people fruitlessly passed right through the genie while he just laughed. When both Yuji and Gojo looked back, they almost chocked on how many people were running after them. I mean, who wouldn't. You would too if you see someone like Gojo in the middle of the market now won't you? And with a flick of his fingers, here came the magical carpet and there they went in the air, leaving all the people behind them stunned. They both laughed so hard that tears pricked Yuji's eyes while genie spoke," That was surprisingly fun! I loved that stunned and confused look on their faces when they passed right through me!" He laughed. After the laughter died down Yuji spoke," Hey.(Gojo turned to indicate that he's listening) Thank you. Thank you for doing this with me. You really are the best person I ever met." Hearing this Satoru's cold heart was filled with warmth. Something he hadn't felt for thousands of years. " If you don't mind, can I ask you something? " Yuji asked after a brief silence. "Yeah sure. What is it?" " What did you mean when you said ten thousand years?" And that was when Gojo revealed his past. Being cursed. Stuck in that lamp for ten thousand years already and probably an eternity more. And from that day onward, they both became a little more closer to each other.

_____________________________________________

Quite some time has passed since Gojo revealed his past to Yuji. Everything has been going smoothly while in the meantime Yuji already asked his second wish leaving him with only one left.

It was evening. Sun was setting as the birds returned to their nests while Yuji and Gojo sat on the same sand watching the sunset where Yuji first found the magical lamp.

Yuji was deep in thought when he spoke suddenly ," Hey Gojo. I guess I figured out what my third wish would be." " You did?" Genie asked. "Yeah" he replied."Well, what is it then?" Gojo asked.

"I want you to be free."

"What?" Gojo asked from utter shock. " You heard me. I want you to be free Gojo. To get free from the curse and start a new chapter." "B-but didn't you say that you liked my company. You know, if the curse lifts off I won't be able to see you. Right?" It was most certainly the first time the almighty Gojo the genie ever stuttered. " I am Fully aware of that" Yuji replied. " But why?" Gojo said still kind of blown away. Suddenly, Yuji stands up facing the genie while he also stood seeing him stand up. " I see the sadness in your eyes sometimes you know?"

"Huh?"

" I know you said that you like spending time with me and I was not like your other masters but I see the glint of sadness in your eyes whenever you are alone(without his blindfold). Look, you are the person who changed my life. You are the person who made a street wanderer like me, who I am now. You are the person who gave me happiness in this hopeless life of mine. And for someone who did so much for me, this is nothing. So that's why

My third and last wish is to free you Satoru Gojo".

"Are you sure, that this is what you want?" Gojo asked to be sure while barely ignoring the warmth and pounding in his non- existing heart after hearing Yuji's words.

"Yes."

"Well then, Your wish is my comand master." Said Gojo all the while returning to his human form, (without the blindfold) like he used to be before the curse for just a second and hugged Yuji and said

,"Thankyou. For lifting the curse. For thinking about me. For being the most beautiful part of that eternal hell. Thank you. And I will always remember you, My Friend."

And just like that, sandalwood and earthy scent once again flew everywhere as Gojo disappeared in the rays of setting sun for the better.

A few months had passed since Yuji lifted the curse off of Gojo. He still comes by the same spot he once found the lamp from and bathe in rays of the setting sun. And as much as he misses him, he knows that wherever he is, he's happy and is present with him. In the form of these sun rays.

'Thank You for coming in my life, Gojo.'

Kodachrome (4/5)

Lester Sinclair x f!Reader 

Warning: Cursing

You crawled back up into the house from the trapdoor in the office. It was around two in the afternoon nearing the absolute hottest, most miserable time of the day. You made your way to the kitchen to get started on making some lemonade. You made sweet tea yesterday, so it could sit overnight. You figured the boys would enjoy a cool drink with all the heat. You got out the ingredients you bought on your last trip into town.

You juiced the lemons and dumped the sugar straight in and let it dissolve. After adding some water, you put it in the refrigerator to sit for a while so it would hopefully be cold by the time the boys came home. You tossed the peels in the overflowing trashcan only for them to roll right back onto the floor. You sighed, knowing you’d put off taking out the trash for too long now. You stuffed the peels back in and hoisted the bag out and tied it off, hauling it towards the cans out by the side of the house.

You lifted the lid of the trash can as you were about to toss the bag in without a second thought, but a movement from the corner of your eyes stopped you. You looked to your right to spot something scurrying into a beat-up cardboard box with what sounded like a sneeze. You stared at the box for another moment before it rustled again. You let out an involuntary shriek, dropping the lid and the garbage bag as you practically leapt up onto some old milk crates. Perhaps it was an overreaction, but you had no idea what was creeping around while you were minding your own business. You craned your neck to look in the box, but you couldn’t see anything. You let out a sigh as your heart rate slowed once more.

“What’re ya doin’ up on them crates for, Y/N? Is the floor lava or somethin’?” a familiar drawl called out to you, drawing closer. You looked up to see Lester happily making his way toward you with a goofy grin lighting up his face.

“No!” you said as you felt heat rising to your cheeks as you knew how childish you’d sound when you explained to him that you were startled by a small animal and sought the safety of the milk crates, “It so happens as soon as you were walking up I got jump-scared by something hiding in that box over there and I may have overreacted a tad.”

“Aw, that’s nothin’ to be ashamed of. Animals can be sneaky sons-a-bitches at the worst of times. I once near died choking on chili when a rat ran across my boot a few years back.” Lester said supportively.

“I appreciate your understanding. It’s probably nothing.” You said as you moved to step off of the creates.

“Was it this box, here?” Lester asked moving toward the cardboard box without a second thought.

“Yeah, but be careful, we don’t know what’s in there.” You said quickly, gesturing for him to leave it. Lester got on all fours in front of the box and tilted his head to peer inside, “Lester!”

“Well, what’ve we got here? What’re ya doin’ all by your lonesome?” Lester cooed as he haphazardly reached his arm into the box and pulled out a small baby opossum, “Looks like this little girl got left behind?”

“Oh my god, you just scooped it up, like it was nothing!” you said equal parts horrified and amazed.

“I seen plenty of these guys runnin’ around. Ya get used to ‘em eventually.” He said as he held a firm grip on the squirming opossum, so it didn’t scurry off.

“Shouldn’t you at least have gloves or something?” you asked.

“Probably, but this one ain’t gonna hurt me. Are ya?” Lester asked fondly as he addressed the baby in his hands, “You’re too little to hurt a fly, ain’t ya?”

“So, what do we do now? Do we let it go?” you asked, completely clueless on how to rescue a baby opossum.

“Ya kiddin’? We’re eatin’ good tonight! Ever had opossum stew?” Lester said, holding the baby out to you.

“Lester Sinclair, you take it back!” you chastised, with a horrified expression and a light swat to his arm.

“I’m only foolin’, I wouldn’t do that!” Lester said through a belly laugh, “’Sides, she’s too little for that anyway.”

“Then what are we actually going to do?” you asked

“Well, she’s too small to be on her own, but it don’t look like her mama’s anywhere to be found. And I don’t hear any other babies neither.” Lester said as he scanned the area and listened close for any sound, “If she’s here by herself, her mom’s not comin’ back for her.”

“That’s really sad.” You said sympathetically, suddenly feeling a deep emotional bond with the baby that just scared the daylights out of you, “What happens now?”

“I’ll drive her to the animal rescue in town, it’s ‘bout an hour out. If I leave now, I can make it ‘fore they close.” Lester said simply.

“Can I go with you?” You asked, surprising him with your request.

“Well, sure ya can. It’s kind of a long ride there and back, ya sure ya wanna go?” Lester asked.

“Yeah, I know I’m not really any help in this situation, but I want to see this through.” You said excitedly.

“Fine by me!” He said with his classic, toothy grin, “Wanna help me find a box to put her in, so we can head out?”

“Sure!” you answered. As the two of you turned to go into the house you asked, “How’d get to know so much about opossum rescue?”

“Ya wind up meeting a lotta animals that need help, doin’ what I do. Sometimes it’s a relief to find somethin’ that’s still kickin’.” Lester said, “I know it’s rotten bein’ left behind, all alone. Most of the ones I find don’t got no one to look after ‘em, so I try to do what I can.” You felt your heart twist at Lester’s words. He had such a lonely childhood; it was no wonder he felt so much empathy for creatures that just needed someone on their side.  

“You’d make a great vet.” You said

“Ya think?” Lester asked, flattered.

“I know.” You answered, “You’ve got a way with animals.”

The two of you went back into the house with the baby opossum still in Lester’s hold. Bo would kill you both if he ever found out you brought her into the house, but what he didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him. You found an old shoebox and punched some holes in the top and grabbed some rubber bands from the office before meeting Lester in the kitchen. He was using his free hand to soak up a dishtowel to microwave to make a makeshift heating pad.

“I’ve got the box!” You said, placing it on the counter with the lid and rubber bands.

“Great! I’m almost done over here too.” Lester responded, setting the time of the microwave. “Hear that, won’t be long, now.” He said to the baby opossum, lightly scratching her head. It was ridiculously adorable how nurturing and careful Lester was being. The baby opossum was remarkably calm in his grasp, comfortable even. You picked up your camera from where you left it on the kitchen table and took a quick snapshot of the two of them, their attention trained on one another. Lester looked up at the sound of the click and perked up, “Nifty camera! Where’d ya get that?”

“It was just sitting in the warehouse. I’ve been taking pictures to pass the time, but also because I found an old photo album that was pretty much empty and I wanted to try and fill it.” You said as you placed your third picture in your back pocket.

“Well, I think that’s real nice of ya.” Lester said in awe of your new project. You knew you wouldn’t have to debate with Lester about the importance of photos, unlike his brothers. He was always very supportive and interested when it came to whatever it was you were doing. “I wish I had some pictures.”

“I bet.” You said as your smile faltered for a millisecond, remembering Lester wasn’t in any of the photos you found. You moved toward the microwave and put the now warm towel in a plastic bag and into one side of the shoe box. You put another towel over that and Lester placed the baby opossum in her temporary bed.

“I used to wish I had a picture or two of my parents after they died. Or at least one of me and my brothers to take with me to that other family. But I know my folks were busy, with Bo and Vinny and all.” Lester admitted with a small sigh. He tried to make light of the bleak memory, “I’m frankly surprised I recognized ‘em when they showed up lookin’ for me.”

“Well, I plan on taking a lot of photos. So many in fact, you’ll never forget anything ever again. You can keep the one I just took after it develops if you want.” You offered, hoping it gave him some form of optimism.

“I’d like that! Thanks, Y/N!” Lester said with a smile that lit up his warm, brown eyes. He secured the rubber bands on the shoebox, “Now, let’s get goin’! No time to waste!”

You both went out to Lester’s truck and took off down the road with the boxed baby opossum sitting between you. You were at the animal rescue center in no time. Passing the time with Lester was always so easy since talking to him was a breeze. There was no shortage of conversation topics with him. You even managed to take a few more pictures of each other along the way. On your way back towards Ambrose, you flipped through the pictures you and Lester had taken. You both looked so happy and carefree with the windows rolled down, the wind rustling your hair. You smiled to yourself, embracing the photos close to you. Lester was certainly right. There was no time to waste.

Meant To Be || One For Every Billion

6. By My Side | Pt 4

"You've got to be kidding me."

Your group has already grabbed a table on the second floor balcony, overlooking the crowded paths below, at one of the nicer restaurants at the heart of the park's main food district and you've been checking updates on your phone after messaging Tobio and Hiro when Oikawa's unamused voice breaks through your thoughts.

You glance up to your left at him to see a look of disbelief on his face and when you follow his line of sight, you see the two stragglers everyone has been waiting on heading your way, weaving through the tables to reach you all.

"Tobio!" A smile breaks across your face at your cousin's grumpy visage. He seems a little closed off, studying the additions to your group with what you think is apprehension.

"Tobio?" Toru's head literally snaps towards you in question.

You turn to him as Tobio and Hiro come to a stop and pull out the two empty chairs at your table.

You hear Iwa murmur a low, "Oh shit." but you have to dismiss it because you're clearly missing something.

"Yeah," you watch Toru with a question in your own eyes, "My cousin, Kageyama Tobio. And Hiro, Hana's brother.."

Iwaizumi is actually facepalming while Maki and Mattsun are chuckling, but you can't see what's so funny so you continue with the introductions, "Tobio, this is-"

"We already know each other, Y/n. I went to school with Oikawa-san and Iwaizumi-san until they graduated this year."

Okay, small world. All you can really say while you digest this information is, "Oh."

But then, "Hiro doesn't know them... right?"

"No, not yet!" Hana's a lifesaver that steps in to make introductions with the rest of the guys while you chew it over. There's clearly history here, right?

Then, you kind of get an answer because Toru turns to speak with you while the others greet each other, "So let me get this straight. Ushiwaka and Tobio-chan are both your cousins?"

"Um. Yeah. Pretty much." You watch his eyes narrow on your response.

"Pretty much?"

"Yeah, Tobio's actually Shin's cousin but they're both more like brothers to me. I guess it's the same situation with Toshi but on my dad's side... we're not directly related either."

You can see the understanding light up his eyes for a moment, "You choose them, huh? As family?"

"Exactly."

"Interesting taste. So family but not."

"No. They're definitely my family, no question. Nothing will ever change that."

You and Toru stare at each other for a moment as you both try to work out what's going on in the other's head and where the lines are. When he doesn't reply back, you raise an eyebrow and prompt, "So.. you and Tobio..?"

He lets out a laugh that might be just a little bitter, "Please, there's no me and Tobio."

"Hm." You let it sit there because you're not one to pry more than that when someone is clearly somewhat unhappy. You'll get it out of Tobio later anyways.

And, cue lightbulb, "You were on the volleyball team together."

A cavalier smile spreads across his face at your question, it's definitely not sweet, teasing, or nice. It seems carefree but the expression in his eyes is almost telling you to back off. However, he still answers, "We were on the same team once, sure."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah." You smile with what you hope is the kindness you want to relay and not the awkward uncertainty you're feeling, "Why? Do you have more you want to say?"

He studies you a moment longer before turning away to pick up his menu and study it instead. You still hear his quiet answer, "No."

You look away as well and your eyes fall over Tobio, who's looking back at you. His expressionless gaze doesn't convey much but, for once, even you can't read beneath it, and then the connection's cut when he glances away to the rides in the distance.

Okay.

The lunch goes surprisingly well considering the amount of tension around the table at the start. Mostly between Toru and Tobio, but even Iwaizumi seems more... engaged in the situation. Everyone else continues to get along fairly well and make up for those three, however, and the atmosphere eases out eventually. It probably helps that Tobio is quiet as per usual and Toru is unerringly good at pretending all is well in Oikawa-land.

When everyone heads out for the rest of the rides, you do catch Toru watching you interact with Tobio and Shin but you don't know what's so curious about your relationship with your cousins. What you do think is curious is his interest and attention when you're joking around with Karu or talking to Hiro. See, he doesn't seem to mind if you sit with your cousins, his friends or Hana, but somehow always manages to slip into the seat next to you if it looks like one of Hana's brothers will.

It's so obvious that you can't help but bring it up as you exit the picture booth at one of the rides, "Not that I should have to ask you permission, but are you going to let me sit with Karu or Hiro?"

"Do you want to sit with one of them?"

"Don't answer my question with a question."

"I like having you by my side."

"Still not an answer to my original question."

"Do you not want me next to you?"

"Stop avoiding my question or I'm going to assume you're jealous."

"Sounds like you want me to be jealous."

"I didn't say that."

"You also didn't deny it, Angel."

"Toru." You mean to admonish him for the little games he's playing but when his first name slips out and you see the wide grin start to spread across his face, you have to close your eyes in defeat.

It's with your eyes closed, as you're taking a breath to find your calm, you hear a soft smile in his voice as he calls to you, "Y/n."

And when you open your eyes he's holding up a printed picture from the ride you were just on. You and Toru are sitting next to each other, your hands interlocked between you again and you're trying to hold your hair down with your free hand, while strands still fly everywhere from the wind, to look over at him. Your expressions are caught in that moment, now eternal, as you're laughing at the cute pose he's trying to make for the picture but he's looking back at you and not the camera, with the happiest grin on his face.

"Why this one out of all the others?"

"I've been getting those too, just electronically. I wanted you to have this one."

"It's for me?"

"So you can remember how much I like you by my side."

You can only smile and take the picture from him, responding with a soft,  "Thank you."

"Say my name again, Angel."

"Oikawa."

"My first name."

"No."

"Please." He's giving you the cutest puppy eyes, but-

"I said no." And you turn to walk away before he can actually convince you, the smile still stretching your lips as you carefully tuck the picture into the hidden pocket, between your phone and cards to keep it from crumpling as much as possible.

-x-x-x-

Your group and Toru's end up going separate ways after an early dinner, which Miwa and her friend joined you all for. She got along famously with the unexpected additions to the group which you found pretty ironic. So did Toru, you guess, since he made it a point to state his delight at meeting a better Kageyama. No comment, you're biased.

You did have to promise Toru that you'd see him again before you left the park which, oopsie, you guess you never mentioned you'd also booked rooms to stay overnight. Haha. Yeah. You wonder if that means you can message him in the morning?

No, he'd just message you tonight if you don't first. He's already texting every so often and it's just been about fifteen minutes since you both went separate ways. So you end up texting him back to promise you'll see him in an hour or so, after some quality time with your cousins.

Back with the original group consisting of just your family, you all head over to one of the themed lounges to grab desserts and drinks. Tobio, of course, sticks with milk, while Miwa is all about getting her drink on with Sakepolitans - a cosmo made with sake.

Ren manages to convince her to order him an old fashioned or two, stating he's almost legal anyways - you roll your eyes at that - but you and Shin decide to experiment with the house recommendations. He goes with the Uji Matcha Latte while you go your typically coffee route with the café mocha.

An hour flies by fast as you all catch up on your day and make plans for the next but, by the end of it, Miwa is definitely in need of a bed, maybe with a trashcan by the side, and Tobio might actually be asleep on the table.

After telling Shin to stick with you and Tobio, Ren hauls Miwa away to get some sleep, letting you both know he'll be meeting back up with his friends after she's tucked in so to call if any of you need him. He does hesitate briefly, glancing between you and Shin, and you swear he mutters, "Just how much trouble can they get into here?" before shaking his head and leaving.

Hm. You throw a look over to Shin as he shakes Tobio awake and state, "Why don't you get him back to his room while I finish my coffee?"

He eyes you warily, considering your offer, "Right. Like you'll go to your room straight after?"

"What? Don't tell me you're not meeting up with Karu after you drop Tobio to bed."

His mouth opens but literally no words come out. Yeah, that's what you thought.

"What about you? Meeting up with your boyfriend?" Never mind, he found his words. Well, you can too.

"Why do sound like a elementary school kid? Oh right, emotionally you are one."

"I'm telling Ren that you're sneaking out." Rat. He would never, would he?

"You're literally just proving my point. Please, keep going."

"Why are you like this?" Ah, there's the crack. But you need to push a little more.

You lean back with a mocking smile, "Better than you at everything?"

Yup, now he's pouting. "Mean."

"It's genetic. You should know, you are too."

"Wow, I can't believe we're related."

"Me neither. Now, should I let you do your thing and have fun with your friend? Or do we call Ren and both end up stuck in our rooms for the night."

"How do you always...? Never mind." He grimaces in complete defeat, "Fine. Just keep your phone on and answer me right back if I message or call."

He's about to turn away but stops and adds, "And obviously old rules apply. You call immediately if you run into Ren so I can have my story together or make sure I'm back."

"Obviously." You smirk up at him over the mug before taking a sip.

But he didn't even have to say it. Whatever shit the two of you pull on each other, you also have each others backs when it counts. Especially with your older siblings. That was the pact those of you within a one to two year age range made with each other when you were all kids, as if any of you even had to. It's kind of cute you guess, but you'd never say that to any of them or they'd never stop harassing you.

As he heads off, you pull out your phone to message Toru and then decide to drop a picture of your drink on your twitter while you wait for his response. Which is unnecessary because the boy responds almost immediately. What, was he waiting by his phone?

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Y/n also stopped to get pics... at all the rides

-Toru might have been telling the truth and got them all lol and he was def caught looking at her in more than just that one ;)

-Not that she wasn't... I don't know about you, but I definitely think I know which ones they'll both get printed :)

A/N: Really getting there.. one more part left in this episode! Buckle up, it's the longest one <3

Taglist: @delusivist, @prettyinblack231, @kac-chowsballs, @sakusasimpbot, @hawkthekinnie

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

-

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

-

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

-

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

When showers no longer help

(This one is a little gift for @lance-alt because they liked the idea and because they had a rough one with all the drama today. Hope you enjoy bud. Take care!)

SUMMARY: Remus and Patton are in a relationship. Not a happy one but that’s okay. Those only exist in fairytales right? (Remus centric)

WORD COUNT: 1300

TRIGGER/SQUICK WARNING: Unsympathetic Patton, Mental abuse, unhappy relationship, mention of crying, mention of food, very brief blood/ could be seen as self-harm mention, arguing, yelling (In caps)

-

Patton doesn't mean to. He really doesn't.

"Hey, sugar daddy. How'd you sleep?"

"What did I tell you about using crude nicknames Re?" Patton said, carefully moving out of the hold Remus had on his waist and walking towards the kitchen to make himself breakfast.

Remus let out a whine. Though stopped himself quickly when Patton glanced over his shoulder. Irritation clear on his face.

-

He didn't mean to yell when Remus accidentally dropped a glass. The shards cutting into his foot and ankle hurt less than Patton's harsh words.

And his boyfriend was right. He shouldn't have been so clumsy. Shouldn't have let the glass slip from his fingers. Shouldn't have shouldn't have shouldn't have.

Remus didn't sleep that night. Quietly looking at Patton's sleeping face and wondering why he was being so forgiving to him.

The images of what Patton could do to him swarmed his head like a swarm of wasps. The intrusive thoughts that came through unfiltered and seemingly without taking a break making him curl in on himself. Yeah, Patton was too good for him.

-

He didn't mean to make Remus feel worse than the dirt under his shoe when Remus had come to him to apologise.

He'd baked a cake. Making sure to use one of Logan's recipes as to not accidentally put something in that would displease Patton. He'd made extra sure that his hands were clean. Putting on a simple t-shirt instead of his usual outfit so no loose strings or beats could fall in. Making sure that the cake was baby blue with little hearts instead of the usual brown or green he'd go for.

Patton had looked at it in distaste. As if Remus had presented him a dead rat. "I'm not eating this. You probably put rat poison in there or something. Throw it away."

He'd watched the cake fall into the trashcan. Seeing the top break, the cream filling spilling out onto the leftover taco’s that they’d had yesterday.

Patton had only scoffed and brushed the hand that hovered towards him, seeking comfort, away.

-

He didn’t mean to make him feel bad for simply existing and fulfilling his duties as a side. 

Didn’t mean to make him feel so bad that he had started hanging around Deceit again when Patton wasn’t looking.

The fatherly trait had told him to not have contact with his best friend anymore. Telling him that lying was wrong and that Deceit would be a bad influence. That he should let him go if he wanted to have any chance of being good. 

Remus, lovesick as he’d been and wanting to please Patton as much as possible in the hopes of not losing his lifeboat in the middle of the storm, had told Deceit the news and tried not to cry too hard when Dee only nodded. Giving him a tight hug and whispering ‘be careful Re,’ into his ear before letting go.

He tried not to cry too loudly that night as to not disrupt Patton’s slumber. Trying very hard to not think about how Deceit had been shaking when he’d hugged him. 

How he’d seen tears running down his face when he’d pulled away.

And Remus tried to be better. Tried to suppress the constant flow of thoughts because they were wrong. 

Tried to not say them out loud even if it caused him to shake and break down in the shower in the evening. Whispering all of the bunched up ideas under the sound of the water while he tried to convince himself that they were bad. Not good. Evil. Badbadbadbadbadbadbad.

Deceit had come to him after he’d seen Remus scratching at his arm so harshly that it had drawn blood. Had bandaged him up without a word and was already on his way towards the door, probably on his way to make Remus leave, when the creative trait felt himself crack just a little.

“I miss you, Dee.” 

The words seeped through the cracks and now Remus went to Deceit every time the world got too much. Every time his brain was too full and he needed out. outoutoutout.

And every time he went back to his room and Patton was there he knew that the other knew. And the disapproving stare undid all of the relaxing and unwinding he’d just done and they were back where he’d started. 

But he loved him. And love was just like this. And all the fairytales that Roman read were unbelievable. Because while he could summon dragons and save princes and turn frogs into people, love like that didn’t exist. Happy love where everyone is smiling and the morning kisses aren’t reluctant and he’d be able to bake something and his partner would be happy didn’t exist.

It couldn’t. Otherwise, their relationship was bad. And it couldn’t be bad because Patton couldn’t be bad. And Remus might be bad and evil and wrong and all things horrible but Patton wasn’t bad so neither was their relationship.

-

When Logan asked him if everything was still alright between him and Patton he hadn’t answered.

And when Virgil accused him of being toxic and obviously being mentally abusive towards Patton because the fatherly trait never smiled at him he hadn’t answered.

And when Deceit asked him why he let this all happen he hadn’t answered.

And when he sat together with Roman in the prince’s room and slowly went down a list of characteristics for a toxic relationship he hadn’t said anything. He’d simply cried into his brother’s shoulder when they had gotten to the bottom to the list. Having ticked every box.

And he simply let Roman hug him close as the prince told him that fairytale relationships weren’t the part that made them fairytales. Ignoring the glow around them and ignoring how they morphed into one lone man. Arms wrapped around himself as he sobbed.

And he simply let Deceit comfort him when the snake walked into the room and saw Romulus on the bed. Eyes red and puffy and snot running down his face and into his moustache. Deceit rubbed his back and cooed meaningless words until they’d calm down and the man turned into two again. One worried out of his mind, the other broken. So very broken. Because Patton couldn’t be wrong but he was and he was wrong and bad and evil and and and-

“Patton I’m sorry but I’m breaking up with you.”

“What?”

“I said I’m breaking up with y-”

“Why? I treated you so well. I tried to improve you, Remus. To make you better! I did everything for you and now you’re going to leave me? After all I did?”

“This relationship just isn’t healthy for m-” “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR YOU. I DO! I’M MORALITY!”

“I know,” Remus said quietly. Though the fire he felt within, the knowledge that he was so close to being better, so close to not crying in the shower every night, kept him going forward.

“It’s just not working out. It’s not your fault Patton I just don’t feel the same anymore.” 

That was a lie. He loved the other. He really did. But Roman had told him how relationships should be. And Patton had ticked every item on the list for toxic relationships. And Deceit had helped him calm down enough to get the whole story. And he hadn’t broken down in the shower that night. And he was strong. 

“You’ll never be good without my help.”

“Then I guess I won’t be.” Remus turned around. Walking towards the door. Towards where Deceit and Roman were waiting on the other side. Towards recovery.

“I just wanted to fix you.”

“Goodbye Patton.”

He opened the door. Walking through it and leaving Patton in his own room.

Both Deceit and Roman hugged him when he walked out. And Remus found that, while his love for his family was very different from the burning passion he felt for Patton, he’d much rather have this than late night showers.

Snow - Chapter 11

Entire fic. AO3.

I wrote this in between slaving over my final report today, and the final report is not yet finished but this is. I hope y'all are grateful.

A.k.a. more trauma incoming.

---

“Wangji! Wangji, wait for me! Hey! Wangji!”

Wei Ying tries to catch up with the boy, but Wangji is fast. Only when Wei Ying stumbles over a snowbank and nearly falls on his face does Wangji turn around and glare at Wei Ying.

Yes, yes, he knows. No running. No shouting. Wangji is prickly about things like that.

He finally catches up to Wangji, wrapping his arms around the sleeve of Wangji’s jacket in an effort not to slip and stumble again. His thin shoes aren’t made for ice and snow.

To his credit, Wangji doesn’t pull away, and he also doesn’t scrunch up his nose. He’s always good like that. He doesn’t really like Wei Ying, but he also doesn’t keep him at a distance, doesn’t treat him like the dirty, smelly street rat that Wei Ying really is. Wei Ying is trying to keep clean and orderly, he really is, but if you don’t have regular access to a bathroom and laundry facilities, you get smelly quick. He’s learned that by now.

But Wangji has never, ever made him feel bad about it, even when he criticises everything else. Like the shouting.

“You won’t even let me thank you for saving me from these dogs,” Wei Ying pouts. “You’ve been running away from me for days now.”

Wangji sighs, and pries Wei Ying off his arm.

“I did not do it for your thanks,” he says as he slips his school bag off his shoulders and opens it. “I do not need your gratitude. Here.”

He holds out a small, wrapped package.

By now, Wei Ying knows what’s inside. He eagerly opens it and takes in the morsels of food that Wangji has brought him. His stomach has been grumbling all day, and he hasn’t been lucky enough to find some decent leftovers in the trashcans today. He’s already been considering another heist at the little food stand that sells baozi, even though he knows that the proprietor is wise to his tricks now.

The food that Wangji gives him is better.

He doesn’t waste any time and immediately sits down on the nearest dry stone step to eat, careful not to waste the smallest drop of sauce, the tiniest bit of food.

Wangji sits next to him wordlessly and watches him eat, as he always does. Wei Ying isn’t quite sure why he keeps doing it, keeps bringing him food, since he doesn’t seem to actually like Wei Ying, but the food is good and he’s definitely hungry enough not to question Wangji’s motives.

Wangji gives him food and saves him from stray dogs, and he sometimes shows him what they’re learning in class, so that Wei Ying can learn too. Wangji might not like him, but to Wei Ying, Wangji is his best friend in the entire world. He’s also Wei Ying’s most favourite person in the entire world.

His parents don’t count, because they’re gone now.

He swallows a thank you with the last bite of the food, and hands the wrapping back to Wangji.

“Don’t you think it’s time that you tell me your real name?” he asks.

But Wangji remains quiet, still refusing to give Wei Ying his real name, as he always does.

The first time they met, they fought because Wangji caught him stealing a peach. Wei Ying demanded to know his name so he could always remember his archnemesis, the stuck-up boy that came between him and a delicious peach. And Wangji had told him that his name was “Wangji,” which was obviously fake and not even his full name! He’d never been so insulted.

Even now that Wangji brings him food, he’s still only Wangji. It’s a game by now, trying to figure out what it takes for Wangji to finally tell him his real name.

Wei Ying may not know his real name, but he does know a few things about Wangji. He knows that Wangji’s family is well off, that he goes to a good school, that he’s very conscious about being proper and orderly, and that his mother has died a short while ago. That’s not something Wangji has told him directly – he’s heard the neighbours gossip about it. They always call him and his older brother “the poor boys” in that lowered tone of voice that makes it clear they’re afraid of being overheard by someone (they don’t mind Wei Ying though, because Wei Ying is nobody). His mother had been sick for a long time, apparently, and it’s all very tragic, but Wei Ying also hears the badly hidden glee in their voices. A respectable, wealthy family like that, brought low by scandal and tragedy, yadda yadda…

At some point, Wei Ying grew disgusted of their shameless gossiping and stopped listening. Wangji is good to him, and that’s what matters. And he feels a kind of kinship with Wangji. They both lost people that they loved. Wei Ying understands what Wangji must be feeling.

And Wangji seems lonely. Wei Ying never sees Wangji with any other children his age, he never sees him playing, and he always has the same invariably serious expression on his face. If Wei Ying’s presence helps a little with the loneliness Wangji evidently endures, then that’s fine with him. They’re best friends. He will stick with Wangji for the rest of his life, if he has to.

Or at least as long as Wangji is fine with keeping a dirty street rat around.

He gives up his current attempt at finding out Wangji’s real name, and tries to think of a topic better suited for conversation.

“Wangji,” he says eventually. “Tell me about the rabbits.”

Wangji loves rabbits. He’s never been allowed to keep them when he was younger, but a short while ago, he’s finally gotten permission from his uncle to convert a small part of their garden into a rabbit pen. He’s been researching the needs of the rabbits, how to keep them properly, and has been dithering over the breed of rabbits he wants to keep. It’s both funny and adorable, to see Wangji like that. If it had been Wei Ying, he’d probably taken the first rabbit that he came across and stuck him in a cage, but that’s not how Wangji operates. He’s fully committed to creating a rabbit paradise. And Wei Ying loves listening to Wangji talking about his little paradise. It’s one of the few topics that actually make Wangji talk.

Wei Ying closes his eyes and listens to Wangji’s newest plans with a smile. The time that he spends with Wangji is one of the few periods in his day during which he feels safe. Living on the streets isn’t safe. The days are troublesome enough, but the nights are dangerous, and there are more people (and dogs) that wish him harm than he cares for. Still, it’s better than the orphanage. Even when he goes hungry more often than not.

Wangji tells him all about his current plans for the rabbit enclosure, but all too soon, he has to leave again. His uncle is really strict about the curfew. He shoulders his school bag and stands up, and Wei Ying follows him.

“Bye, Wangji,” he says a little regretfully, leaning up and giving Wangji a kiss on his left cheek.

It had been a joke, the first time he did it. It’s something he often did with his parents, kissing them goodbye before they left for work in the morning, or whenever he could, really. He misses their touch so much that he’s physically shaking some days. He was both feeling lonely and had kind of wanted to tease Wangji a little with the all-too-familiar gesture when he kissed Wangji for the first time, but for some reason, Wangji permitted it. He gave Wei Ying a shocked glare, but the glare wasn’t followed by a command to never do it again. So Wei Ying did it again. By now, he gives him a kiss every time they part.

Maybe, maybe, he thinks to himself sometimes, Wangji will come to return it one day.

Once Wei Ying manages to make Wangji like him, too.

---

Time has lost all meaning to Wei Ying by now, so he often doesn’t know what day it is, never mind what date. Today is just a terrible. Whether it’s Tuesday or Thursday doesn’t matter.

Wei Ying has been feeling sluggish all day, has barely found the energy to drag himself out of his hiding place. He managed to find some leftovers around lunchtime, but threw them up almost immediately, his stomach unable to tolerate the spicy food that he usually loves eating. He thinks he’s getting sick. He hasn’t been sick since his parents died, not really, and he feels appropriately miserable. He wants nothing more than a warm blanket, a gentle hand, and some hot tea to soothe him. Unfortunately, none of these things are achievable for him anymore.

Wangji finds him crouched close to one of the street stalls, leeching off the radiating warmth coming from the meat grill while the stall owner keeps his watchful eye on him (in case he’s getting any ideas, which he’s not). It’s cold enough that he doesn’t chase Wei Ying off, though, for which he’s grateful.

“Ying,” Wangji says as he reaches out and presses his cool hand to Wei Ying’s forehead. “You have a fever.”

“It’ll pass,” Wei Ying assures him, because that’s what fevers usually do.

“You need to rest,” Wangji says.

“I am resting. It’s warm here.”

“You’re shaking.”

“I’ll be leaving soon,” Wei Ying sighs, hoping that Wangji would just leave him alone. He doesn’t want to talk right now. Talking is exhausting.

Wangji seems to have other plans, however. Instead of leaving, he lifts Wei Ying’s arm over his shoulder and basically drags him back through the streets to Wei Ying’s hideout. He bundles Wei Ying into his ratty blankets, making sure he’s as comfortable as an old mattress in an abandoned house gets before he leaves.

Ten minutes later, he magically reappears with hot tea and soup in thermosflasks, which he carefully feeds to Wei Ying. It helps a little, but now that he’s lying down, Wei Ying realises just how terrible he’s really feeling, and how sick he really is. He wouldn’t be able to get up again if he tried.

“I don’t feel so good, Wangji,” he mumbles, his eyes half-closed. “I’m scared. Please don’t leave me.”

“I will take care of you,” Wangji promises, and strokes his sweaty hair away from his forehead.

Wei YIng dozes a little, secure in the knowledge that Wangji is nearby, looking over him. He always feels safe when Wangji is around. Slowly, evening turns into night, and the sky outside is pitch black by now. The fever prevents him from falling asleep properly. He keeps tossing around, trying to find a comfortable position, a little soothed whenever Wangji strokes his forehead, his cheeks, with cool fingers.

Once, he thinks he feels a kiss pressed against his temple, and he wants to gloat a little.

See, Wangji, he wants to say, I knew you’d come around.

But the words refuse to leave his throat.

The next moment, Wangji stands up and leaves. His careful steps echo around the empty building. Then, Wei Ying is suddenly left alone.

“Wang…ji?” he cries out in a broken voice. But only silence answers him.

He waits for Wangji to come back. Maybe he just went to get some more tea. Maybe he needed to use the toiled. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Time passes by and Wangji doesn’t return. Bit by bit, the icy cold crawls under Wei Ying’s ratty blanket, and a different kind of coldness crawls into his heart.

He doesn’t know how much time passes, but it’s enough for realisation to dawn: Wangji won’t come back. Not tonight. Maybe not ever.

Wangji left him here, alone.

He left him alone even though Wei Ying asked him not to. He left him alone even though Wangji is the only person in this world that still cares about Wei Ying.

He’s cold and he’s exhausted, but he still has the energy to spill hot, desperate tears over this betrayal. Wangji has left him, too.

Wangji has left.

He will never, ever ask anyone to stay with him again.

That’s the last thing he remembers.

---

The next thing he knows, he’s in a hospital bed.

He is later informed that the police picked him up that night and brought him to a hospital, but he has no memory of it. He has no memory of any of the events that night. He only remembers being feverish and in pain, wishing that his parents were there with him.

When he wakes up, however, he finds a man sitting at his bedside, smiling at him gently. Wei Ying has never seen this man in his entire life.

“Hello, Wei Ying,” the man greets him once he’s taken in the sterile surroundings of the hospital room. “It’s good to finally meet you.”

It takes a while for Wei Ying to understand, but Jiang Fengmian, the man at his bedside, patiently explains to him that he’s an old friend of his parents, and that he’s been looking for Wei Ying ever since the news of their death reached him. By the time he contacted the orphanage Wei Ying had been brought to, Wei Ying had already run away, and no one knew where he was. But now that he’s finally been found, Jiang Fengmian is determined to adopt him, and bring him home with him to Hubei.

It all sounds far too good to be true, the things that Jiang Fengmian is saying. He’s going to have a family. He’s going to have an older sister and a younger brother, and he will never have to worry again about food. He will be able to go back to school, get an education. He will be taken care of in Hubei.

Hubei is very far away.

But what choice is there, really? Nothing is keeping him here in Suzhou. Only the memory of his parents’ deaths remains here.

He’s been living on the streets for months, cold and hungry and alone. There is nothing for him to lose. Nothing for him to regret.

He accepts Jiang Fengmian’s offer, and closes another chapter in his life.

Harlots Season 3 Episode 1 Reaction

*There are spoilers below

Ahhh the opening music. Love it ha.

Okay... who are these people? Is this Josiah Hunt’s family?

Ok get it stable girl

Lady Harlot! Yessss did they make up?? Hmmm I guess?

Hey Luce. Hey new characters.

Holy shit Theon- er Alfie- Isaac is here already and face to face with my LOVING WIFE NANCY BIRCH what.

They’ve given Alfie lines to speak with his MOUTH not just his eyes! Listen up.

“Dainty Size” ha- I mean granted, she’s small but. Did she just threaten to “flay his face off??” Was that a Theon/ Ramsay call back? I doubt it. (Get out of the GOT headspace Selkie, ffs)

I’m sensing real guilt from Charlotte that she’s a bawd and isn’t just one of the girls anymore. You’ve done nothing wrong Char!

Well that’s a weird kink Lucy (licking the bald head). These men are ridiculous.

And now, Kate Fleetwood And Alfie Allen engage in the battle of the jaw lines.

Wait why are they rhyming? Oh right that’s what people did in those days for fun/ to flirt. I know this from Shakespeare. Get in there Fanny! Charlotte is so quick, damn. I want to be them.

“Not a Rogue” Isaac just said more words in this scene than Theon said in the entirety of Season 8 (I’m not ragging don’t at me- Theon said more with his eyes than everyone else combined in Season 8, so it’s fine. I’m just delighted to hear Alfie speak. In fucking RHYME. HA!)

Oh fuck... Bedlam is so horrifying. They are trying to manipulate me into feeling sorry for Lydia and no one is shocked when I tell you it’s working

Charlotte and Isaac. Be still my bisexual heart. Okay but what about Lady Isabella? Well this is just work though. Also maybe they have an open relationship? Or are they even together at all? I NEED ANSWERS HARLOTS. I love how sex is always so clothed on this show- It is realistic of the time period because of the weather and cause clothes were so involved. It just always looks right- like a job and kind of unappealing. And they always get the squeaking of the bed and shit right you know? Oh wait, but they are having a moment.

This must be the brother. Hey Emily. How much time has passed here? 

Did Charlotte just say she hasn’t slept with anyone since she became a bawd. So I guess her and Lady Fitz aren’t together then. But they are friendly? 

What the fuck Nancy where is your birch rod?? Hold up, where is Will? No seriously, where is Will?

I love Cherry so much God. 

Lydia is trying to remember a soliloquy. This is all so Shakespearean what with the rhyming and... 

It’s that stable girl

Lady Fitz’ voice cracks me up tbh it’s so over the top and hushed-dramatic but I love it.

William’s in York y’all... but why?

And Alfie’s.... still rhyming... like? I am starting to have flashbacks of my past outdoor Shakespeare jobs right now and part of me is totally into that. What does that say about me really?

That woman really creeps me out... Oh but this must be the molly house plot line. 

Back in Bedlam. The Shakespeare is continuing... you guys.

*makes a mental note that Lydia would be a great Alannys Harlaw for sad edits (help me chums)

I really love Harriet’s arc. omg THE THEME OF THE EPISODE IS SHAKESPEARE. Harriet’s brothel girls produce stripped down Shakespeare shows before the fucking commences. Truth though, that is my kind of brothel.

I want the backstory on why Nance wears that gold ring around her neck. Ha- Nance is just a big softie in truth. Okay a gripe though- WHY is Lucy not becoming a dom like Nance? They clearly set that up in the Season 1 finale but never went anywhere with it in Season 2- but they could now- since she is showing such dissatisfaction with her job- but instead she’s going to be a bawd? *Slams hands on table* Give me apprentice dom Lucy working through her trauma with Nancy storyline you cowards! It would be so great- they could use that storyline to give us more Nancy backstory too.

I know we aren’t supposed to like Isaac but something about him getting arrested is turning me on here. (But let’s be honest, I have to like Isaac cause it’s Alfie. I don’t have a choice. Like, I’ve been known to say that John Wick’s dog had it coming- just so we’re all on the same page here.)

Honestly I’m going to have to disagree with you Charlotte, I feel like the gibbet would have been better than Bedlam. I mean. Lydia could write self help books though I swear. Okay so it’s been a year- there was like a years jump- okay.

See, I like how they don’t just completely forget about the dead on this show. RIP Kitty. Aww I’d forgotten that Fanny named her daughter Kitty. I kind of shipped Fanny and Kitty. Now I’m really sad. They would have been a perfect little family.

Oh wow Lucy joined forces with Elizabeth and Fredo. I bet that will end well. 

Okay Isaac that was completely unnecessary. Leave baby Kitty out of this. Why does Alfie always get roles where he’s like harassing babies and dogs good lord. He’s so freaking good at them though lol.

Lydia and Isabella are so Shakespearean it’s verging on camp... and I love it. Oh... Lydia. Oh man... she thinks she is going mad. Charles, ffs, you make everything worse.

“A genius with a needle.” Oh no- it’s a hanging offense- again this is not going to end well. Lucy honestly has a noose wish.

Emily wants to learn the art of commerce. Emily is a Slytherin and we stan.

I need more Nance backstory dammit. 

This poor stable girl. I wasn’t listening well when she said her name. But God... poor thing.

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. NANCY BIRCH CAN SING. aww she’s singing Kitty to sleep. Oh no... you’re pushing it Alf. First the dog murder, then shouting cunt to a baby, and now trying to burn Nancy and Kitty during this sweet lullaby scene. Like you really want people to hate you don’t you? (In his defense I think he thought everyone was out of the house. Still, arson is not something to be trifled with in those times Isaac... christ. They didn’t even have like firefighters right? I mean, the whole city could catch on fire...) Alfie I swear it gets harder and harder to defend your characters’ actions with each role you play. But you know what, I am not going to even try with this one and instead I’m going to go with the idea that Isaac is just the kind of villain you love to hate. 

Oh Fuck you Alfie. Now I have to take back my previous statement because you’ve fucking got me with that line “this trade turns us into rats” and that look of regret. Damn you. 

Nancy get out of there... How dare you use Nancy and baby Kitty in this manner, show. I am beside myself.

Charlotte says “Let it burn.” No Char. That is not the attitude. Get some water. I get it though. She still wants to be free. She really should have left with that Irish what’s his name that was so lovely. But then she wouldn’t be on the show and I’d be sad.  

And we wouldn’t have Lady Fitz, which, speak of the siren... I kind of wish we had more info on what the hell happened between her and Charlotte this past year instead of this subplot with her daughter- I find myself not caring at all that her daughter is eloping. I mean, I know that there is some INTRIGUE about that but... we’ll have to see if it pays off I guess?

Final thoughts: AHHHH. I love this show. A quick search in the tag has shown me that people are unhappy? I thought it was great! But I do get what people are saying about the time jump. I found that confusing too. I also don’t think people should be concerned about Isaac ruining the Lady Harlot ship. I think that Charlotte and Fitz will be more of a slow burn and I’ve also seen speculation that Charlotte will seek shelter with Lady Fitz so maybe we will find out more about what happened with them next episode. Also, I just want to enjoy Isaac’s storyline in peace without shipping drama. (Um.. you do know you are on tumblr right selkie?) I think he is interesting, the human trashcan rhyming rogue. (And for the record I do ship Lady Harlot.)

Important Questions: Where the hell is Amelia and Violet and what happened with Amelia and Hunt? Surely they will be on next episode. A quick google search in IMDB for the cast list of the next episode has told me... absolutely nothing. So we’ll just have to wait and see. I see people freaking out that they cut them from the show. I suppose it is possible but I certainly HOPE not. I think they just had a lot to get through with this first episode. They will be on next episode. I am willing it into existence. 

Ahhh, I’m so excited this show is back. 

Preview of SouRin Sugar Daddy AU: Death of a Bachelor “Chapter 21″

Sousuke’s first week back at work is shit – more like slapping on a condom full of fire ants, to put it lightly – though he hadn’t anticipated leaving his bed for a freezing office would be a pleasant affair. He’s grown accustomed to Rin’s presence, bodily and internally addicted. Sousuke needs him like sleep, a requirement for rest and fulfillment; the way he buries his cheek against Sousuke’s chest in the night, god, the fucking stars can’t compare to such fire. Being around Rin is secure and rebellious all at once. Justified. The reliver and the fever. There’s a panic to it all, waiting for this good thing to explode and come crashing down – but Sousuke likes the feeling. It’s powder, fuse, and friction. He and Rin are maneuvering a delicate space as they try to figure out the balance of public image and authentic emotion, but at least Sousuke knows which way Rin might be leaning.  Sousuke can most certainly confirm what his own heart is singing.  Needless to say, he is a bit addicted to being around Rin, and it was in no one’s best interest for Sousuke to part from him and spend days in a conference so infuriating that it ices his goddamn blood over. To quote Makoto, Sousuke is positively lemon-sour and intimidates potential investors; to quote Nagisa, his personally drops to that of the Wicked Witch of the T.E. West Wing.

“What in the risen fuck was that meeting,” Sousuke hisses on the walk out of the conference room. Nitori scurries after him, peeking over the tower of files in his arms. “Sir, I know you need a break, but you have a call from the Chou Ward waiting on Line 3 –” Sousuke throws a hand up. “I don’t have time to ignore Isana-san, tell him I’ll call him in the morning.” He shudders at the dreadful thought. “Put Baileys in my coffee tomorrow.” Nagisa bounces to Nitori’s side, scribbling on a clipboard before handing it off to Makoto. Nagisa takes a primp sip of his latte, swinging his hips with the demeanor of someone absolutely content while the building goes up in figurative flames. Nagisa says, “Sou-chan shouldn’t have any irritants while he’s recovering, Ai-chan.” “You’re an irritant,” Nitori pouts. The rest of Sousuke’s people follow him to the elevator, but he’s too frazzled to recall which floor he’s on. Not remembering directions is a staple of his character at the office, but that doesn’t make his grumble any less embarrassed. “Up or down?” Natsuya raises his brows as he scrolls through his phone and Makoto sighs, “It’s a miracle you have a driver’s license.” He pushes the button to take them to the appropriate level and everyone hunkers down in Makoto’s office with the door locked. Sousuke pours square glasses of whiskey for himself and his brother, Natsuya pulls out a Cameroon cigar, and Seijuro haggardly smokes a cigarette. The redhead hisses grey through his teeth. “Well, that could have gone better.” “A root canal would have gone better,” Sousuke fumes. Seijuro flicks ashes into the tray he always keeps in his breast pocket. “Amazing that you have to call in every department to the main branch just to make an executive decision of shareholders.” Seijuro isn’t even full-time on T.E.’s payroll, but as their prime freelancing marketing consultant, it was necessary for Mikoshiba Incorporated to witness the meeting. Natsuya yanks his tie loose and flops in the nearest chair. “It’s democracy, one of the two greatest contributions to society.” His face slates over as he takes a pull from his cigar. “That and getting fucked up the ass.” “I’ve tried both and they’re overrated,” Nagisa says, tossing his empty coffee cup over his shoulder and into the trashcan. He spreads his notes across Makoto’s desk, organizing in a way that only the P.A. can understand. Nitori comes over to view the conference transcript and braces his hands on his hips, grim-browed. “What was that one gentleman’s name that wanted to buy half your stocks?” Sousuke snorts into his glass. “Which one? The guy that looked like he should be underground worshiping rats?” “No,” Nagisa says, leafing through some folders. “The one with the personality of a sentient enema.” “Ito-san,” Makoto supplies, half-asleep on the lounge. Lemon is his office-cat of the day and she cuddles his shoulder. Nitori nods. “Right, him.” His eyes skim through the appropriate folder and he sighs over at Sousuke. “If you aren’t comfortable with Ito-san being a shareholder, you’ll have to do what he can’t.” Seijuro scoffs, “What, drive sober?” “That and prove Tachibana Enterprises is still a mom-and-pop business.” Nitori crosses his arms. “Yamazaki-san, you and Tachibana-san are still the figureheads of this company. You don’t have to blindly grab anyone’s money just because there’s a lot of it.” He hesitates. “But you’ll have to make a choice. You’re at a crossroads of identity as a company.” Natsuya says, “Ito-san is a shareholder at Kirishima International as well, my father said that man is so radioactive that he can read newspapers in the bathroom from the light of his own shit.” Sousuke stares in disbelief before kneading his forehead, which pulses to the touch. “Even if we omit Ito-san, none of the investors were good candidates. The youngest prospect talked like he had never seen the world outside a limo with a hot tub; he doesn’t understand how decisions can affect our individual employees.” “If he’s absent-minded, then he won’t pull out if the stocks drop,” Makoto tries. Sousuke balks. “Kinjou Kaede is a goddamn animal. No one thinks rationally when they’re nineteen and just inherited a fortune.” He takes a drink and holds the whiskey in his mouth, letting it burn his insides and fuel his indignation. “Kid prowled into the building like a fucking Bengal tiger.” Nagisa makes a face. “It was pretty hot, though.” “ – and he watched us like he was waiting for us to pour honey on his cock and suck it.” “Mm, too forward,” Nitori nods solemnly. “There’s no way I’m answering to some smug teenager.” Sousuke takes another angry drink. Having a bad shareholder, especially one to the caliber that Kinjou wants, is like being declawed, defanged, and neutered. Not a good equation for a productive work environment – Sousuke is too stubborn to try and improve such a fate. Nagisa considers. “Kinjou might not be that bad, he’s cute. But like, kind of how lions are cute: from a distance with an electric fence between you.” “Kinjou told his P.A. that you’re too busy cutting eff-holes in peaches to do your job right,” Nitori drones, not glancing up from his paperwork. Nagisa looks stunned in the most pleased way. “Do I radiate that much Top Energy? I better keep wearing this Calvin Klein shit I snagged from Haru-chan’s bedroom.” Makoto startles an excited blush with eyes tripled in size before Sousuke cuts everyone off. “If we go with Ito-san, we’re playing it safe and this company won’t be seen as ours anymore. He’ll get all the credit for any forthcoming success because he took a chance on two young CEOs, and everyone will think our profits are due to his wisdom.” Makoto’s frame tightens and he heaves a defeated breath, shaking his head. He looks as trapped as Sousuke feels. Sousuke continues, “If we go with Kinjou, we are going to catch hell from any other long-standing corporations, not to mention the media.” Seijuro nods, lifting his brows. “You’re new money.” He says it with a smirk. “At Mikoshiba Incorporated, my father actually likes that. New money is all cash – it’s no bullshit.” He shrugs as he takes another pull, seeming hopeful. “We’re the next era of business. If the older people can’t evolve, that’s their problem. Money is money and cash is king. That’s all that matters.”   His speech invigorates something deep in Sousuke – a reckoning. He sits up straighter as he regards his brother, who considers. Makoto casts a miserable look at the floor before he shakes his head, giving in to the determination pouring through his veins. His gaze hardens before he nods at Sousuke with grim consent. “All right. We give Kinjou some shares, but not as many as he wanted. Start him out small, see what he does with it. Let the media get used to the idea of him before he’s got the chance to do anything irrational.” Sousuke nods in response, petrified to move forward, but as satisfied as he can be with their circumstance. Everyone slips out to leave the brothers alone and after a while of sharing miserable silence, Sousuke hauls himself to his feet. “Well, I’m headed to take a swan dive off the roof. Care to join me?” “Maybe later.” Makoto keeps scrolling through his phone, inspired. “Are loofas a decent Christmas gift?” Sousuke’s expression dries with disappointment. “You’re rich.”   “They make nice loofas.” “Who the fuck thinks about fiber count when they’re washing their ass, Mako?” Makoto grimaces with a shudder. “It’s for Haru.” He takes off his glasses to rub his eyes in frustration. “He likes baths, I don’t know. I just want to get him something he’d like.” Lemon wanders over and Sousuke picks her up to cuddle the cat against his chest. “Taking baths is a staple of his character? He doesn’t sound that interesting.” “He’s very interesting,” Makoto pouts. “I’m just bad at gifts. What are you getting Rin for Christmas?” Sousuke shrugs, though it’s a confidant motion. “Whatever he wants.” “That’s not interesting,” his brother scoffs. “Or personal.”   Sousuke leans against the wall, careful how he angles his shoulder. “I don’t know, I need to think about it. I don’t want to freak him out or anything.” Makoto glances up from his phone to shoot him a flat look. “I don’t think you could freak him out if you tried, and I mean that nicely. Haru told me that Rin’s obsessed with you.” “Mm.” He doesn’t say more, though he flushes with pride, and he smirks when Makoto rolls his eyes. His brother sighs, “Well, I need to hurry up and choose something since he and Rin are taking a flight back home tomorrow.” Sousuke’s smirk drops and his arms fall slack. Lemon squawks in the air before landing on her feet. “Huh?” “Did you forget?” “Rin never told me.”

Memory cues

It gets harder to journal about anything personal, the more jealous I become of my privacy. But I still have the impulse to share things about my life with the proverbial curious party.

Some guy was walking by as I left the bathroom at work today, and he saw me try to throw a paper towel out into a hallway trashcan from about two inches away and still miss, and he laughed at me. As I bent to pick up the paper towel, he must have seen what I guess was a vaguely wounded look on my face because he turned away and said, “...Almost got it,” not breaking stride.

Then again, I was on a very crowded, cliff-face grate bridge in the Capilano Suspension Bridge Park in Vancouver last month, and I heard a lady behind me say to her companion, “I’m not looking down. I’m just trying not to have a panic attack,” and I said, unsolicited, “Just remember that you’re stuck, and you couldn’t get off this bridge even if you wanted to.”

At that moment of my existence, turning 35 years old was imminent. Was this kind of little rat-fuck joke a sign of things to come? I hope not. I reflexively shriveled up inside and turned around and said “Ma’am, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you more nervous, that was a bad joke.” She laughed, and her husband, I, and my lab partner chatted amiably for the rest of the walk.

I’d never been to the Pacific Northwest before then, but it put sort of a spell on me while I was there, and the next time I go up to that region (Seattle), I suspect I will enjoy that, too. The Capilano Suspension Bridge Park looks like the forest moon of Endor, and the coffee in Vancouver tastes very good (this is coming from a certified non-connoisseur who says “this tastes like dirt” to most cups). 

The busiest and fanciest area of the city comes to a halt on its northern end at Vancouver Harbour, which sports green mountains behind a large, clearly too-far-to-swim-across inlet. In the harbor, chubby seaplanes take off and land, their motion dictated as if by cartoon physics.

I stayed at a hotel embedded in a residential neighborhood a few miles south of “downtown,” so I had to take buses and trains to get into and around the city each day. At first I was annoyed, but then I felt like I was getting a better view of what it would be like to live there, which was neat. On public transport at commuter hours I felt both uncoolly older and obscenely whiter than I do at home. Late at night, on the same modes of transportation, I felt doubly old and doubly square.

Life at 35 is like life at 25, except you’ve been around for ten years more, your cultural touchstones are outdated, and you feel more tired spiritually, if not physically. Professionally, you feel more focused; you’ve crossed more items off the list of things that you enjoy doing, and you don’t have the nervous energy you did a decade ago that prevented you from buckling down.

The separation between 35 and adolescence also means that the memories of the old days are more distinct than they were at 25. I think of memories now like opening a fresh can of tennis balls: the smell seems to enter your nose and occupy your brain all the way back to your ears and then it’s gone. For me, the easiest way to access memories is by listening to music.

The abridged version of the music important to me: before I “liked music,” I enjoyed the song “Good Vibrations” and I learned to love the Smashing Pumpkins album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness because my older brother played it constantly. Beck was the first artist who made an impression on me, so seventh through ninth grade was mostly Beck’s Odelay and Mutations. Sophomore year of high school Kid A came out, which led me back through Radiohead for the rest of high school and the beginning of college, with Beck’s Sea Change nestled in there, too. Zwan formed (and mostly disbanded) in 2003, but now it’s forever joined to the endless nights in my dorm freshman year playing Quake II and eating Gerlanda’s pizza by myself. The blistering winter winds waiting for campus buses are inseparable from “When You Smile” by The Flaming Lips, and with the spring came Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots. Sophomore through senior year of college I zoomed through lots of splashy indie bands, faithfully sticking with the discography of only a small fraction of them (Silver Jews, now Purple Mountains, and Pedro the Lion). During that time, I also learned I disliked Bob Dylan and Conor Oberst (sorry Joe).

After college, Andrew Bird soundtracked the purposeless days of professional indecision pretty well. I walked through my new apartment neighborhood during the soft end-of-summer evenings of 2008 to You & Me by The Walkmen. Beach House came along during Stair-master sessions at my local gym when I was starting out at grad school, as did the ultimately disposable Girl Talk mashup albums. Kanye West made Christmas 2008 feel like looking at a photo negative, but afterward Fleet Foxes and Grizzly Bear/Department of Eagles blew the naturalness back into feeling. Fall of 2009 was David Bazan’s Curse Your Branches and, later, Embryonic by The Flaming Lips.

I was in a relationship from 2012-2015 and got really into Tame Impala during that time. From the relationship, I picked up a few others--Abba, some newer indie bands that didn’t hit my ear as keenly as the ones in undergrad, and Paul McCartney. In 2016 I clung for dear life (personal, not political reasons) to Mac DeMarco’s insouciant vibe, 1970s McCartney, and Lord Huron’s death anxiety. In 2017 things came to an anxious head with Aesop Rock’s The Impossible Kid. 2018 was the beginning of an as-yet undefinable mix of old and new stuff making up the “present period.” Those are the milestones, anyway.

Recently I was reminded of memories from 2004-2006, which was during the splashy indie band phase. I made a mix on Spotify that was as close as I could get to one of the mixes I made for myself at the time, when the city surrounding my college took on a kind of permanent cold, permanent night-world texture. I guess it’s because most of the important stuff during that period happened at nighttime and in the fall or winter. I spent a whole weekend in a bittersweet reverie.

Memory can be a mournful thing, but sometimes its vividness makes you feel like there may still be great things within you yet. At least, I hope so!