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suffering-and-happy-about-it · 4 years

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Favored Ones, Part 3. (Joel Miller x Fem!reader)

Description: When you spend every evening with someone who's deeply under your skin, a certain relationship can be developed. So it's crushing for Joel when Y/N suddenly disappears. But there's way more to the relationship that one would've guessed.

A/N: It's starting to get boiling hot in here or is it just me?

Warnings: Joel being kind of an asshole tbh, some angst. Nothing too big, I swear.

Word count: 1.9 K

Tagging: @nemodoren @missdictatorme @xxgoldenhour

If you like this story, please, more parts can be found here! :): H E R E

A month before events of the hunt, November 2038:

The arrow flew through the air. Cold November air. But instead of its target, it hit a tree next to it, which made the deer run away. You quickly cursed under your breath.

"I told you that your elbow is too low." - A man next to you with his typical I told you so smile. You just rolled your eyes and held a small smile on your lips, bumping a hand into his shoulder.

"Come on. It was the air. It gets thicker as it gets colder." - You stood up from wet leaves and cleaned your plants from the mud. Yeah, guess who's doing the laundry tonight. You put the bow on your shoulder and let the chord relax for a minute.

"Oh, so now we're using air as an excuse, okay." - Joel chuckled and stood up. You already hunt down two rabbits - both of them were shot down by Joel. But you tried your best. - "But there's some progress there. You missed its head for only one and a half feet." - He patted your shoulder.

"Leave me the fuck alone. I tried. And I didn't make it run, I was as quiet as a mouse." - You stood up as well and put the quiver and the bow higher on your shoulder. The tone of your voice may have sounded really annoyed, but you were smiling. Joel knew that he shouldn't take it personally.

"Stop cursing." - He hopped on his horse and looked at you. - "It makes you sound like a child, not like a tough adult as you may think." - That was something he was telling you all the time. That you should behave. Or try your best at least around him.

He cursed as well, from time to time, but you were a cursing machine. But you remembered the time when he took you to the woods for the first time - his foot slipped on wet leaves and he fell flat on his back. That's when a loud fuck came out of his lips and it made run all the animals in your radius. You just stood there, crying from laughter.

"I will try my best to behave, big guy." - You winked at him and hopped on Sadie's back as well. Secret jokes and nicknames when you two were alone became a thing as well. The only thing you knew was that you were falling for that guy more and more as the passed.

You couldn't stop staring at his back in that old jacket as he led the way from his horse's back, you were proud when you made his parted lips smile and his almost black eyes shine with a joke. Your ears took his teasing tone like music, his laughter as melody. You were a fool for that old man.

And the more you fell, the harder it was for you to only hunt alongside him. You never thought of that thing called the American dream - but you were more than sure that if you would have the luxury to have a family, it would most likely be with him.

Or a simple kiss would to the trick, it could be both. You were a mess for that man.

So that's why you decided to act on your feelings - no matter the result, you needed to tell him. Just for your good feeling.

One time the other almost thought that you're a thing and nothing made you prouder until that very evening. You could be called a genius - you could blow up almost everything, so your help with making explosives to use during the operations in the city was really useful. And you had fun.

When Joel stepped into an old garage, which you called your laboratory, you were there with explosive powder in your hand, your face was from oil completely and Doom And Gloom by the Rolling Stones were blasting in the air. Ellie once found you a mixtape on an old city in the town and you just fell for that song if you could be honest. It supported your creative spirit, you always said.

"Kinda busy here, girls?" - Joel asked and smiled at Ellie sitting on of your workbenches. They maybe weren't as close as they used to, but it still made Joel smile when he saw his baby girl contained and relaxed around her friends. - "I can come later."

"No need for that." - You shouted over the music and shoved the wrench you held in the second hand behind your belt. - "I will be only testing the bombs from the old gun powder Dina and Jesse found on their patrol. I hope that it is going to be a fucking blast!" - You turned to him. Your oily face made Joel's face soften with a smile.

Your eyes were caught by the quiver full of arrows. Ellie smiled behind her hand. Joel worked on the quiver for the last month and he made every single arrow in it. It was the finest craftsmanship. Ellie knew that Joel only took it as a nice gift to make you continue the training, but even though, it was sweet.

"Just brought you this. I'll leave it at the workbench, okay?" - He shouted over the music. You nodded in a mesmerized state. That man was truly over the top.

"For me?" - You shouted back, unable to move forward.

"You've earned that quiver. We'll test it out when the weekend passes by, okay?" - He smiled and left.

Since that, you always left it on a place where your eyes could easily search for it, always smiling to yourself when you reminded who gave it to you and what did they say. You earned that quiver with your patience and will to learn all of it.

But you needed to act on the feelings you had, not only thinking about all of it. So when you rode on your horses though the path leading through the woods, you knew it was your time to speak. You had proximately twenty minutes before you'll arrive back.

"I need to talk to you." - You said and spared him a shy look. Almost immediately, you turned your face back to look into the direction you wanted to ride in.

"What's going on? Something wrong with the bow?" - Joel asked and didn't even look at you. You felt as your stomach was a-ok ready to throw up any minute. Even though the thick, cold November air, you felt too warm, almost burning. You were nervous as hell.

"It's pretty private." - You stuttered out. You heard Joel's chuckle.

"Something about a boy or a girl? You sure I am the right one to listen?" - He teased you.

"You're definitely the one. Uh, I mean... Yeah, it's about a man." - You stuttered out, almost choking on your own words during your answer. Your heart was about to fall from your very own chest. Your fingers holding the leash were trembling. Was this a good idea? No. Should you do it? Probably yes.

"That's great. I suppose it's about the fisherman's son, isn't it? A lot of girls are after him there days." - Joel chuckled and turned his horse to face right as you walked on the main road leading to Jackson County.

"No! Jesus fucking Christ! It's not about some dumb fisherman, just, stop!" - You yelled so aggressively that Joel stopped the horse and directly faced you. At that moment, you truly caught his attention.

"So who's the man? Or the girl?" - He looked you in the eyes.

"Well, it's one handsome man who's fairly older than me. But he has one of the most handsome faces and back I've ever seen, he's patient with me and I'm spending almost every single afternoon with him now." - You told him without saying his name out loud, but his cynical laughter made you aware that he knows that you're talking about him. Joel's look traveled away from you as he was laughing.

"Oh boy, that's a situation right here. Did you even think that through?" - Joel gave you a quick wink and made the horse ride again. You were confused about what he's meaning by that. Was he accepting what you've had told him? Was he angry? Was he angry? Or flattered? You couldn't tell at all.

"Joel, that's the problem." - You made Sadie go as fast as he was riding, so you could still be looking at the profile of his face. Messy hair, manly jaw, and chin, long and pretty sharp nose, small lips hidden between his beard and his dark eyes looking in front of him. And those broad shoulders... Girl, you were a mess. - "I thought about that every single evening. It only stopped when I was working on my bombs. Everyone wants me to find a young boy, to settle down and have a family. But that's not me at all. I like adventures, exploring new roads and areas, feel new emotions, to explore new things, I don't want to have a boring life. And I think that you know what I mean, Joel." - You smiled shyly.

"It could be kind of hard at the beggings. The elders maybe won't accept it and the girls might look at me weirdly. But it will be good as the time would pass by." - You chuckled silently with a warm look in your eyes. But Joel was deadly serious at that time.

"Youngblood... Sometimes it's good to just settle down, to forget that something happened out there in the big world and to just live. I never had the luck to have all of that." - Joel smiled sadly. He wanted you to have all of that because that was the only thing that could be sure in that new, cruel world that you were living in.

"So what's your answer?" - You said breathlessly as you saw the gates of Jackson County in front of you. - "I need to know because I don't know if I will ever find the courage to tell you again."

"I pretty much appreciate your courage, because it took a lot of it to tell me and I'm aware of that. I'm glad that I know about what you're feeling. But..." - He coughed into his palm and looked at you for a while. - "I just don't do these things."

You stopped your horse and gulped down. He turned you down. Joel turned you down. He said no. And it hurt you as well, you were about to cry.

"You're... You're not into women?" - You asked quietly. That would explain the situation completely and it would make your grief a bit less. It would hurt, but you would get over it as the time would pass.

"No. I just don't do these things. That's what I meant." - He smiled at you. He wasn't a bit angry, in fact, nothing had changed in his eyes. You were just the young blood he was teaching how to use a bow.

But you were heartbroken as fuck.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel #joel the last of us #the last of us #naughty dog #ellie williams #joel x reader #joel x y/n #joel miller imagine #ellie and joel

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rationalisms · 6 years

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list of reasons why i hated pacific rim: uprising

this is gonna be a long post so i apologize in advance. it will also have spoilers for the plot of pacific rim: uprising so tread carefully.

look sorry to be That Film Graduate but it was just so hideous... i didn't expect them to be able to replicate del toro's excellent visual work but it's still disappointing that they didn't even try to the point where the two films don't even look like they belong in the same franchise. but more than that, it wasn't even visually appealing on its own terms. the CGI was an absolute mess (you know that "shitty grey rubber tubes flaping around in the ocean" post? that's what the kaiju looked like. like, i literally couldn't even enjoy the giant lizards because they looked so dumb and plastic toy like). the colour grading was so muddy and monotone. apart from the constant misapplied slow mo shots there was zero interesting or unique editing work going on. all of it looked factory processed and boring and that's an absolute shame considering the original was so fantastic partly because it was so successful visually.

apart from that... look, i know pacific rim took money from the military too and was in some ways a pro military plot but uprising really takes the cake. when they showed jaegers being used for law enforcement against civilians (!!!) i figured they were going for a corrupt ppdc villain figure but no, instead we're apparently supposed to think that's a good thing and that the ppdc are still heroes??the jaegers are meant to be a symbol of human ingenuity and spirit and most importantly a symbol of defiance against a predicated fate. to make them into weapons of law enforcement shits on the spirit of the original in every way. and unsurprisingly both protagonists start out not wanting to be part of the military but end up loving it and realizing that it's Family and Good and the entire time we're hit over the head with how reasonable and nice the military people are and with how difficult and obstinate the protags are being for not seeing that. it's a propaganda wet dream and it was actually sickening to watch.

perhaps the most insulting thing was the way they turned mako into an extension of that. she was never just a “cog in the machine” character who passively accepted hierarchies and orders and making her a representative figure of that in uprising is a huge misunderstanding of her character. (also, speaking of mistreating old characters, why the hell is hermann a chemist now?? he's a computer scientist, (quantum) physicist and mathematician and honestly that's already enough specializations. plus, he always looked on the "life sciences" somewhat with disdain. it really just feels like they used him as the stand-in for the Weird Science Guy every sci-fi film needs to have rather than treating him as his own character and it really shows in the writing of him as well, which feels flat and littered with clichés.)

that apologism doesn't just extend to the military sector either but extends to the private sector characters too. while we're initially meant to see liwen shao as an antagonist, it's later revealed she was an innocent pawn of newt's/the precursor's machinations and she gets to have her big hero moment where she saves the protagonists and aww, isn't she a nice lovely lady. a nice lovely lady who wants to fill the world with jaeger drones who, again, act as law enforcement against civilians, as if that wasn't a dystopian nightmare, but hey, nobody cares about that! look at her smile! it's just horrifying? i realize that this sort of propaganda is par for the course in hollywood but uprising puts it on so thickly that it makes you feel like you're choking on it. it borders on parody at times and made me intensely uncomfortable watching it.

the film also suffers badly from overpopulation especially as most of the newly introduced characters are incredibly one-dimensional. there wasn't enough time to focus on all of them enough to make them feel like real people and as a result i didn't care about their fates. i literally can't remember their names for the most part. i thought there couldn't be a more bland and boring blond white guy lead in pacific rim than raleigh becket but scott eastwood's character really takes the cake. did he have a personality? who knows! special shout-out to the female character literally only added as a love interest for the protags (yes, both) who genuinely had absolutely no other role to play otherwise. not even one unrelated scene. g-d, i hate this film.

speaking of that, the film suffered from bad tonal issues not only as a result of the above but also because of incredibly baffling pacing. multiple times there's big dramatic moments where we're meant to care about some characters fate, peaking in one of the cadets dying in the final fight, but none of the people i was with couldn't muster up any energy to care because, again, we didn't even know their names or anything about them and their life. but worse than that, the film doesn't seem to care either. it gives you a few seconds with sad violins and then immediately moves on and the tragic event just never comes up again. perhaps most insultingly this happens when mako dies, for which i still cannot find a reason honestly. it certainly wasn't to change anything about jake's disposition because her death isn't even the pivotal character changing moment for him. we get one short scene of him mourning and then she's literally never mentioned again and it's right back to badly written quips and jokes in the next scene. no one ever brings her up again even though there's several characters who knew her and worked with her. it's an insult to her character and the original film and she deserved better than that.

speaking of insults to the original film, the fights really felt that way too. the mindless property destruction and complete lack of care was so antithetical to pacific rim which always valued life above all. one short line by hermann that the civilians were all in underground shelters now so run wild i guess was all the reference to it we got, even though we literally saw many civilians not make it into the shelters in time in the scene before that. but nobody cared. the original film was precise about fights which took place in cities. the number one goal was always the preservation of life, luring them back into the water, getting them away from the coast line. when destruction happened it did so for dramatic effect. in uprising it just felt fetishistic. we were treated to scenes in which the jaegers used their environment as weapons completely carelessly and the amount of smashed buildings and destroyed property bordered on the ludicrous. that really feels like it misunderstands the point and spirit of kaiju films and tbh it's something that americans have never gotten about the genre anyway.

apart from that the plot was ridiculous. the handwavey retcon of the first film that posits the kaiju's goal as "rare earth minerals" (lol) which obviously only exist on mt. fuji is hilariously bad. look, i don't need a complex plot from my monster movies, pacrim wasn't shy about being a pretense for big robots punching big lizards either. but at least when pacrim used science they actually put some effort into at least making it sound believable. the paper thin plot of uprising which is riddled with holes just seems insulting to the viewer. that's the difference between the two films, really. uprising tries to be as carefree about being a dumb sci-fi film as pacrim was, but fails to understand that pacrim still took the genre and its viewers seriously. it didn't try to be anything more than a monster movie, but it didn't treat the trappings of the genre as if they don't matter or can just be background noise. that's fundamentally why uprising fails imo. because it doesn't seem to understand that pacific rim worked, not by not taking itself seriously, but by taking itself seriously enough.

anyway, i could list more but at this point i have honestly written enough. i am happy for the people who enjoyed the film and hope they have fun with it but i am going to pretend the sequel remained cancelled. charlie out.

#pacific rim: uprising spoilers #pacific rim spoilers #txt #pacific rim

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harryfeatgaga · 6 years

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I'm dying laughing at the CEO of the Recording Academy trying to cover his ass cause he knew he made a mistake all while questioning if Harry's reached a "level of excellence to merit a nomination." But gave the Chainsmokers and Meghan fucking Trainor a Grammy. Where was the excellence from them? The Chainsmokers song was played at Frat parties and dirty basement, is that's excellence then I don't want Harry to reach that point.

i literally cannot believe

Anonymous said: My dad just texted me from work to see if I was okay because he got a call from the neighbours saying there’s been the same song on loop on full blast (that song is the Grammy robbed Sign of the Times by the Grammy deserving Harry Edward Styles)

DJNFBGUHFBJNHFIJNBFHJKF MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I bet that one anon you got a few days ago is cackling and trying to talk shit about how they knew Harry isn't talented enough to get a Grammy or something stupid like that

they can ch*ke

Anonymous said: Niall did great things with his album and it got great hype by both the public and music producers so if his album made the deadline I would easily say his album deserved a nomination. But the other boys haven’t even released albums yet and their singles were just good for radio play.

i haven't listened to his album still lol but noah fence from what i saw it did not get nearly as great reviews and hype as harrys lol and idk why the others even bothered fhbgfjkvl

Anonymous said: Boycott the Grammys 2k18!

tru!!!

Anonymous said: I’m just going to air out my grievances if that’s ok- first of all,Harry’s management or record company stuffed up bad cos y’all know damn well the members don’t vote artists with a progressive sound into the rock category so you fucked up there. second - Bruno mars is clearly this ceremony’s Taylor swift cos idk how tf his flimsy song about material things got nominated over a relevant refreshing ballad like SOTT . Harry deserved better , but also, harry needs to fire some incompetent people ✌️

well harry made music he wanted lol not stuff thats gonna get played on the radio which i enjoy lol but yea bruno is the tswift this year....or j*y z

Anonymous said: The thing that sucks is he most likely was planning on going to the Grammys cause he's performing for Fleetwood Mac the day before, but now he's going to be in New York and not going.....

PLEASE :(

Anonymous said: I was really disappointed but more for him than me like my first thought was “I hope he’s alright and not too sad about it” And I really hope he understands that it doesn’t make him any less good because an award is just an award and it never defines who you are as an artist and as a person.

i know I'm so sad for him i hope he's okay :(

Anonymous said: Harry is the best artist in the world right now he doesn’t need awards!!

tru! but it would've been nice to even get a nom/recognition

Anonymous said: You can tell the Grammy' will just nominated any old shite. I mean Ed Sheeran has the biggest album of the year yet he isn't nominated. And i didn't even know JayZ had an album out and he's nominated. Like no offense but American music industry is just shit.

ed is nominated and some other categories which I'm sure he will win and literally same i had no idea jay z had music out lmao

Anonymous said: Scrap what i said, Zayn didn't get nominated. It was for songwriting and he didn't write that song.

good

Anonymous said: He got all that hype, he did that private show for them, they went his his first show in LA. They for sure used him for hype and media attention. Robbing bastards.

seriously

Anonymous said: A LOUIS FAN CLAIMING LOUIS DESERVED A NOM YALL I WAS SAD BUT NOT NOW. NOW A BITCH CANT STOP LAUGHING. HE AIN'T EVER GETTING SHIT

LMAOOOOO BYEEEEE AS IF

Anonymous said: I just hope he knows Grammys ain’t shit

honestly

Anonymous said: I know it’s not the end of the world, but I hope he’s not super disappointed and sad, because everyone hyped him up so much smh. Also, I bet this will change how he does promo and radio shit for his next album, they should get him a radio deal just for the fact that clearly that’s all these loser Grammy voters care about.

well if thats what he has to do to get a grammy i don't think that would be worth it and i don't think he would think that either

Anonymous said: Jay Z can fucking choke like his album? The shit he did to beyonce? I’m not fucking rewarding a man for being like that anymore, he can take his ancient ass somewhere else.

nasty

Anonymous said: Good, now I don’t have to watch the Grammys this year, I’m glad tbh since I’m not really a fan of any of the other nominees and I’m sick to death of hearing the same five songs all fucking year lol, that issues song? Fucking hate it, have since day one, can’t believe it got nominated for shit lol. However Jeff needs to get Harry a radio deal since clearly that’s all that matters to voters, considering Harry did all the courting of the voters he could and still got fucked.

i literally haven't even heard most of whats nominated its such a joke

Anonymous said: Most nominees in the important categories are poc so I’m not completely mad and besides Despacito or however you write it (which is a horrible song) they nominated well deserved ones. I still think SOTT should’ve got at least one nomination but I think that maybe because harry is fresh out of the oven they’re not gonna straight up give him a nomination even if he deserves it.

yea i mean its awesome theres actually diversity this year but SOTT literally deserved a ROTY nom

Anonymous said: Nah Harry will get Brit nominations because he’s respected in his own country, the Brits also nominated 1D they don’t hold being in a boy band against him which clearly the Grammy voters do, which is a real shame tbh. But the Grammys are continuing to dig their own grave and become more and more unimportant every year.

i cant wait till the grammys just make such a food of themselves no one goes

Anonymous said: Pls the whole Grammys is a conspiracy theory lol I told you

a mess

Anonymous said: The Grammys lost all credibility after giving Adele Album of the Year last year and not Beyonce. They stick to the basics and just anyone who doesn't "break the rules of music" Harry's first solo song was a 6 minute long rock ballad, which doesn't go with what was expected to be put out. They don't care for originality or you know talent, that's why Ed Sheeran's wack ass has won 🤷🏼‍♀️

SERIOUSLY

Anonymous said: He'll probably get nominated for Song of the year and Video of the year at the Brits. Pretty sure both are fan voted. Maybe best male as well. Also maybe best album but then again probably not because it depends. Also maybe global success. I can't think who else would get that right now. Maybe Ed Sheeran again.

i hope so

Anonymous said: Grammys? I don’t know her. Anyway I hope Harry knows how proud everyone is of him and I hope he’s proud of himself I love my baby 🤧💕

ME!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: i feel so much for harry i mean he did everything he could he put out a phenomenal single and a stellar album and worked with amazing producers and writers and did the grammy performance thing and all that stuff with cbs and like i know im biased but he deserves SOME recognition for all of that like he really did put out amazing music this year that was so much more worthy than despacito like come on he was robbed i just hope he feels okay and valid bc he IS :(

i know :( like i hope he knows he still has done such incredible things this year and his album is so good and he doesn't need a stupid grammy anyway

Anonymous said: Taylor is nominated for two (one for the country song she wrote). Like no offense the the American music industry but you need to get your head out of Taylor arse and stop being snobs. SOTT deserved a nomination.

when will they stop kissing her ass

Anonymous said: Harry broke records held by legends, had a BBC special, performed at the record academy, and sold out an arena tour in minutes. So Julia Michaels and Ed Sheehan can take their boring ass music along with their nominations and shove it up their asses.

TBH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I’m sorry but I have to point out the irony. The lyrics of the song are literally stop your crying it’s a sign of the times. and I know there’s a deeper meaning, but this year fucking sucks

i know :(

Anonymous said: All that hype for nothing. Boy was robbed. Sign of the times deserves a Grammy.

ROBBED!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: Everyone knows no one, NO ONE deserved a nomination more then Harry. White old men disappointing me again. Like every fucking person said Harry deserved one. ISSUES AS SONG OF THE YEAR? YALL I NEED THEIR CRACK DEALER CAUSE CLEARLY ITS SOME GOOD SHIT TO GET YOU TO THINK FUCKING ISSUES IS SONG OF THE YEAR. Nah fuck them.

FUCK THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said: I’m so?? Noah fence but the songs that got nominated? What the fuck???? Harry deserved to be up there whether it was roty or aoty idc he just deserves to be nominated.

seriously

Anonymous said: LISTEN in 10 years time people will look back and say why the fuck wasn’t SOTT a Grammy winner... he is timeless and he’ll win in the end!! The Grammys are fucked

THEY WILL REGRET IT

Anonymous said: The Grammys just proved again how much they don’t matter lol, Harry’s song and album was on every single list as one of the best of the entire year, and the you know who wasn’t? Most of those other songs lmao so whatever man I know the Grammys matters to harry, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore they continue to be irrelevant and continue to nominate mediocrity.

its such a joke lmao

Anonymous said: Yeah honestly the Grammys really do only care about awarding the same people over and over again, and it’s like, no offense but who cares lol. I’m sure Jay Zs album is good but he’s nearly 50 and been nominated a ton like idc anymore lol. And I like Bruno mars but seriously? The songs he was nominated for really aren’t that great lmao.

seriously tho like j*y z has enough awards

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